The Yard - Ep. 162 - We're Making Music (ft. Hivemind)

Episode Date: August 21, 2024

This week, the boys are joined by Hivemind! They discuss how they both met, figuring out who said the most memorable yard quotes, and how Aiden will become a superstar...

["Sweet Home Alone"] It's a kind of cough drop. It's like an ancient cough drop. Okay. Ancient cough drop? It explodes your mouth. It's just like a Med-Fol. It tastes like Tiker Ball. It's marketed the same way like beef jerky is marketed.

Like someone just opens it in a fucking car. Do you wanna hit some of this? No, they don't use a sass patch or anything. No, everyone can smell it. Oh God, that's so piker ball. It's marketed the same way beef jerky is marketed. Like someone just opens it in a fucking car. Do you want to hit some of this? Oh god, that's so pungent. Old boxers used to put it in their gloves. Because if you put enough on your hands, it'll just numb your hands. It kind of smells like Vicks. Vicks is like the spray sunscreen version. SPF 2000.

Do you guys have an older relative that always smelled like Vicks, like no matter what, by chance? They needed it. Rest in peace, by the way. Everyone had a hot cousin. He's not, they're not here anymore. God, no.

Wait, what? I know we got a lot of people. Hot cousin, you said hot cousin. You said hot cousin. Everyone had a hot cousin. We don't want anything to like slip through on this episode. Rest in peace, by the way.

The hot cousin. Hot cousin never survives. Didn't die, just got what's hot. We have slip through on this episode. Rest in peace, by the way. The hot cousin never survives. Didn't die, just caught what's hot. We have beautiful guests on our podcast. The first thing you did was offer them something to rub on their skin. You did not rub it on their skin, though. You said do it yourself. That's not a hospitality.

That's a hospitality. I want you to know we're not usually like that. We will rub it on it for you. Thank you. OK. What does this have to do with the hot cousin? That's an end to it. And Ludwig, this is where you take over. You you. Thank you. OK. What does this have to do with the hot cousin? That's an end to it. Ludwig, this is where you take over.

You explain. Welcome to the yard. We are here, episode 100. It's our special congratulations. Yes. It is 100. Yes. That's a lot.

That's a lot. This is our 100th episode. Yeah. I don't buy it. If you wouldn't mind introducing yourselves for our big hundo. I'm Graydon. I'm Riley. we are hive mind

it sounds like you're about to go is that is that order a thing like as you guys normally go in that order no no usually goes first yeah that's why I was so it was like we're like respect for that I saw I see you happy about it I'm not I want him to take initiative it just I'm great yeah yeah we are hive mind trying to level myself up. I want him to take initiative. It just threw me off. I'm Graydon.

You know what I mean? Yeah. We are hivemind. That's true. Is Graydon with a G? Yeah. Is that all right? Well, it's only one joke.

Wait. Pause. What did you say? As opposed to? There's Graydon. Hey, pause. Why do you as a man have a G in your name? Correct.

It's all right. Graydon, do you feel ashamed of a name like that? You want to know my middle name? I love you. You know, I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you.

I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you.

I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. Yeah, he was gay? Well, the rumors were he's the only president that ever had a first lady. Wait, there's a president of being gay? Yeah, in Chapel Road.

We do have one here. Good for her. So when your mom was mad at you, she'd say, Grayden Buchanan. Weaver, yeah. Holy shit. I don't think she ever said your name. She'd say fucker. Yeah, she'd go, fucker.

Oh my mom's got a mouth like a sailor. Fuck over your fucker. Your mom's throwing gang strikes? Throwing up C's to your mom. What's up Lisa? They're not like us mom. They were. So you guys have a show, and it's like our show,

but there's less of you. Why, because there's two like white guys? No, it's because that's what the fans are saying. The number, the fans keep saying, you need to have hive mind on. Yeah, and they keep telling us to come on here, to go to the yard. Yeah.

Our fans keep saying that to us. So clearly they think there's a similarity. And I will say, when I went to your guys's live show, that's where I met you guys for the first time. I was I expected some amount of crossover, but I was shocked at the amount of people that recognize me there. Like I don't get in public, like I'm not getting recognized very often. But at this show, it was a ton of people and I was like, oh, OK,

this is just a live demonstration of this. Pretty awesome. It does. They give you key chains. No. I can I ask, can I show you guys something? Sure. Sure. Sure. Bob, is this this is like you see that like Ralph Wiggum? Yeah, yeah. What does that feel like?

That's why I buy this is I do it. Is it offensive? That's what live eye. Does this- Is that doing to defend him? Is that doing to defend him? Do you think he's a good boy? He looks like a cat that I'm scaring with a big mask. Yeah, like just when you throw an item and they have to paw at it a bit. Have you always been bald? Yeah, I was like- Well, he started bald actually.

Oh, yeah. And then he had a hair phase and then went back. Does this matter to you? You look at me differently. Can I be honest with you? Please. I watched an episode of this yesterday and you did this. And so I already knew.

So I knew what to expect. You cheated. You know what I mean? I cheated. You looked at the answers. And I knew that like it seems pretty like you got kind of like a ceremonious thing to it where you want to reveal it and see the reactions. I think you're thinking about it a lot more than I am.

Because I look at you and I see a thick mullet. I imagine when the hat's off, it's the same time. I'm originally a little bit attached to that. I'm a little bit attached to that. Okay, well, I feel good. I feel like it's kind of like disclosing if you have herpes to somebody. It's like, you know, I have to tell you this. Slaugher's one of the domes motherfuckers.

He had this thing that he kept saying for a while. He said, if you raise your pinky when drinking, that would tell everybody in the room in ancient Victorian era that you had herpes. What? I might have said this. I thought it was like it meant you were rich, like fancy. He was telling me that it means you have an S.T.D. And I was like, OK, then why would anyone do this?

Yeah, why would you do it? How would you know you had an STD in the Victorian era? I don't know! Back then. A witch doctor's like, ehhh. Well, to be fair, I think you just look at the dick. And it's like, yeah. Did they even have a name for that back then?

They probably called it like the Russian wax. The Drizzling. It was called Beelzebub's Charm. Yeah. It was just a burnt chicken wing. If you get two olives in your martini in World War II era in Europe That meant there was a spy in the bar and you weren't free to talk Like about anything. Yeah, three olives you were clear and then you did this they chew you in the head immediately

Yeah One olive is just getting nothing across one olive is like They show like you as a customer. It's unrelated to the war. Regular guy. Well, I wanted to do something for you guys. We all did since you're new to our show, we're new to your show, we're new to each other. Right?

We're exploring each other for the first time, it feels like. Our bodies are near each other. It's funny because there's expectations of the people who like both of us on how good our chemistry will be. Yeah, okay. And so I guess maybe a test of that is your ability to read our vibes and aura. That's right. Oh, yeah. Sure. I love that. Or is big right now. What we want to do is quite quick test before we start.

Please. Do you remember our names? Trinity. Yeah, got mine. Please. Matrix. Yeah. Frank. You skipped me. Dan. And Ludwig.

Passing Graydon. I will say I'll never forget Graydon for as long as I live on this planet Earth. I like that you were surprised by the G. Most people are surprised by the D. Yeah, wait why? It's usually Grayson. I didn't even think about Grayson.

Don't say that. I know your name is Grayden and when I put your name in my phone, I still autopilot Grayson. I got a scam by a guy named Grayson for a hundred thousand dollars. Is it Grayson Allen from The Suns? Grayson Goss actually from Nickelodeon. Oh, really? Camera's mine. I like that. Yeah. Our team. They're really good at doing a sponge ball voice.

This is my sector. That's creepy. Yeah. Creepy. It means he does it for kids, probably. We said the same thing, you know. Exactly what we said. The only reason you're going to do it is my brother. You're not doing it to old people at the bar. To be fair, what I say?, Sandy's water would be nice. He also does a SpongeBob.

For you guys. That was SpongeBob? Water would be nice. Fuck. You have a good SpongeBob. I have a good SpongeBob. He's nervous. He's nervous.

He's laughing. He's laughing. He's laughing. He's laughing. He's laughing. He's laughing. That's better. That's better.

That's better. That's better. That's better. Oh my God, that's sweating from bullets, dude. Anyway, we wanted to play a game with you guys, if, that's so funny. But let's do it anyway. We wanted to play a game with you guys. If you could be so kind, Zipper. Zipper is our producer.

You might have noticed he's a big floating metal. And it's who said what? So we're going to throw up a quote that we have said on this show, documented live, not live. And your job is to guess which one of us has said it, okay? Okay, yeah, we can do that. I haven't seen any of these. I don't know what I said. Yeah, I also forgot a lot of these, so it'll kind of be fun for all of us, but also some of them feature, they serve as discussion topics. There's one about Beyond Meat tasting like leg

meat from a man. I was going to say the exact thing. I was going to say Beyond Meat tasting like like leg meat from a man. I was going to say the exact thing. I was going to say Beyond Meat kind of tastes like people meat. Like like from a man. Thank you so much. This is the vibe that we're not comfortable with the level of camaraderie over that. What? That's the first thing I was going to say. He's a man. He's mine.

Tastes like man meat. It's like from a, you know, well, you know, all right, let's get started. There it is. It's the first one. There's no way I can tell human leg from beyond meat if it's seasoned. So their job is to guess Nick's slime mirrored. I don't even know.

I don't even know. That's the fun part. Is there an answer key? Do we have an answer after this? Oh, yeah. All right. Because if you guys aren't sure, that's not really any point in playing the game Yeah, I think I think it's slime. I'm gonna guess slime. Is it because you think he's tasted man meat? I think he just had a very spirited conversation about that

And no one else really chimed in Ball got to keep the game interesting. Okay. Yeah, sure go on Ludwig. All right We're getting track it is Riley versus Gradyn for one by the way pause Don't ever talk about band meat to me ever were you as a man talking about a man's man was a test Yeah, this is my life has been horrible today. Can we time out real quick? Ludwig kissing man video rule 34, please 34, please. You don't need to put rule 34 in the video. Let me put rule 34, please. I did an event yesterday and I kissed a man and all day today I've seen people on Twitter being like pause because what is up with the Diddy Olympics?

It's not Diddy Olympics if there's gay people just there. That is what the young people are saying. I feel like you would have gotten some love for that. I thought it was an act of bravery. I think it is, too. Yeah. But apparently, why did you kiss so weird, though? You didn't kiss weird. You kissed so weird. Kiss weird. Yeah.

Roll the clip. So weird, you had to do it twice. Well, I did. I kissed briefly. I think you said sorry. Context. I ran an event yesterday called Streamer Games, and in it, we played horse. But it was bull because it's sponsored by Red Bull. Anyway, one of the other teams, two girls kiss, including my girlfriend. And then the girl laid the ball in. And so our team, two guys had to kiss.

It was a weird game of horse. I won't lie to you. Sounds like a normal game to me. That's how we played in the Midwest. Real quick. We'll rate the kiss. I'm a move on and tell me if it was brave of me to do maybe. Yeah.

Okay. This is this is Lachlan. Yeah, okay. This is Locklyn. He's a Fortnite YouTuber from Australia. Taller than you. He's taller than me. Great accent. That was one. That's what I'm saying.

That was one. That was one. Why did you run it back? Well, cause they said it wasn't enough. And they said I had to caress his head. He loves Tom Brady so much. That makes sense. I was gonna say it looks loveless. Yeah, it did look loveless loves time Looks loveless

Yeah, you're going through the motions I use more time with my dad You can't do Lisa like this. This is so ceremonious. Look at your eyes. Go back and pause on his eyes. That was weird. Are they open? Dude, why are you... That's really bad.

It looks like a photoshop of two people kissing. No, the face afterwards I don't like. It's homophobic. You look mad. You were like, ah shoot. Well if you close the eyes and you kiss a man it's gay. What? He closed his eyes and he's not gay.

I think it's just polite. Staying, keeping my eyes open so the gay opps don't see. Did you keep your eyes open when we kiss? Uh, every time cause it's not gay if they're open. That's right. Has everybody here kissed a guy before of course Mostly each other Have you kissed a guy?

You lady and tramps a cigarette That's how I imagine kiss a guy. It's like a cigarette and you lady and tramped it with another guy Dots appear on your chest Threaten you guys with the kiss. Yeah, I think Ludwig said this. All right. Well, let's see who it is. It was Nick Oh, no way. You said that? That's your name. Was this about when we were talking about like cutting your own leg off and feed it to your friends? That guy who did that? Yeah, the guy who did that because he got an amputee and made tacos.

I remember. I would never do that because I am too loyal to brands. Oh, you're petty. I couldn't. No, I actually would just think about how maybe Beyond Meat would never give me their meat money. Oh, no, you could be like, I made tacos out of my leg and it was gross, but you know, it's not gross, etc. Yeah, beyond me. You know, Tyson chicken. It's not bad.

Yeah. Okay, sure. Would you guys eat a person if you were given the opportunity? Which person? What part? I've heard that a little weird. Let me try that again. Pinch.

Is it a buddy? It's a buddy. They live. It's life or death. Oh, yeah. Slime. Oh my God. Croaks. Does it kill them? Does it a buddy? It's a buddy? It's life or death? Oh, yeah. Slime croaks. Does it kill them? Does it kill them? They're croaking. And they say, if you need to eat me!

I'm sucking the bone. You can't let it go to your mouth. I'm getting rid of it. And then are you going to eat the meat or what? No, bone only. I would eat you while you're like on your deathbed and I would tell you what it tastes like so you know and then I wouldn't eat the rest of you after you die. That's- You're welcome. That's weird but it's nice. You say

thank you, I say you're welcome. I wouldn't do that. I would make sure if I'm the one in the chopping block, the eating block, I would make sure that my body tasted as disgusting as possible. How would you do that? I would eat only gummy worms. That's crazy. That's crazy. Or a survival situation here. We probably don't need to eat each other if we have gummy worms. That's probably...

I eat only gummy worms. I'm gonna say, like, yeah, you don't have the resources to, like, craft your diet to taste bad. Why would gummy worms make you taste bad? Also, what a fucked up Hansel and Gretel solution is like, nah, but I'm gonna taste bad. I wanted to hurt you. You're still getting company. I'm trying to fuck your friends over from the brain Yes, yes, oh yeah, I feel like there's other ways to do that

You taste good. No the gummy bears wouldn't be good. You'd also be robbing us of nutrition which kind of defeats the purpose Yeah, you guys would get something out of it that you can eat my delicious brain I bet that part's yummy for you. That's fine For me. All right, let's move on. Next one. It's kind of like Christopher Columbus sing the pussy. Oh, discovering it is great. And an option might be rediscovering to bad guy. That guy just want to clear it up.

Say what you will. I don't think he should have done the thing that was bad. The killing. Which thing? The killing. Yeah. Okay. I appreciate that.

I'm going to get him by the end of this episode. I mean, that's kind of a blanket statement though. I don't want to put that on Christopher Columbus, you know. To any descendants watching. Any Spaniards? He was Portuguese, just to be clear. Yeah, man, I don't fucking care. I'm talking to my new friend. I don't watch anime. That's cool, though. I don't watch anime.

I fucking hate it. Nick's run that for eight years. It always pays. We're still learning. That's why we don't know who said this. Who do you think said it? Who do you think would utter something like this? It's between these two again. You already had one I don't think you'd ever dare say something like this. I would never Christopher Columbus the pussy I'm surprised you said it even quoting it

I'm gonna go with Ludwig on this one. Keep the game interesting. I'm going slime. Alright. It was Ludwig, motherfucker. And you don't remember that. I don't. What was even the context? I don't know. I don't remember most of it. How did you find it then? I paid a couple of like, ultra fans.

I'm like, who has an encyclopedia knowledge of our show? And then I was like, alright, we need to put some quotes together. I'm like who has an encyclopedia knowledge of our show and then I was like alright we need to put some quotes together I'm Christopher Columbus. You Christopher Columbus the pussy. It's crazy because if I was guessing this right now I'd be 0 for 2. Yeah I'm alright. Isn't that fun? I think I'm realizing this is actually just a game of trying to beat them. This is unfortunately more competitive than I expected. The odds are good because we keep picking different people. That's strategy right there. So this is unfortunately more competitive than I expected. The odds are good because we keep picking different people. That's strategy. It's like when you take the test and you make sure to like

spread your your letters. All right. Next one. So I bought a knife for $14,000. That's Aidan. Wow. A quick answer. Do you agree with the change your answer? If the context? Pause, pause. Don't say anything.

My gut was Aiden, but I feel like it's just like, I don't know. Now I feel like it could be slime because of the way you asked that. I'm really reading into the body language stuff here. Don't make a bad game together. I'm going to go with slime because they're the only two left who have it. We got to cover our bases. Yeah, right. Is it smart to do?

And it actually was Aiden. Good one. Yeah, right. Is this smart to do? And it actually was Aiden. Yeah, good one. Wait, you're a bad test maker. I'm not a bad test maker. Yeah, because you did. Rich is a bad test maker. Because this next answer is 100% going to be slime,

because it was a Nick, a Ludwig, and an Aiden, and it's going to be a slime. I actually don't know that. I didn't jumble them. Rich did, and we'll fire him after. Why did you know? What? Why did you know? Um, based on the experience we had together during the tour of the office, I didn't jumble them rich did and we'll fire him after why did you know okay? What why did you know um?

Based on the experience we had together during the tour of the office two minutes before we started the podcast I gathered that Aidan's an extreme enthusiast of things and Maybe even a collector Wow what did you do in this tour? I sold another Volkswagen Jetta sold another Volkswagen Jetta. During the story. Hold on guys, I'm flipping a Jetta right now. Which is what funded the knife. Yeah. Is it an old knife?

Was it clear that it was a Counter-Strike knife? I don't know if this is clear, it's a Counter-Strike knife. Oh, it's a virtual knife. It doesn't give you an edge in the game. It would have been so much cooler if you bought a $14,000 physical knife. I don't think that would be cool. We're from Ohio, we don't think about Counter-Strike. You're saying it's a virtual knife? It was like cutting. It's so much cooler to be clear.

It's cool. I mean it's kind of like, what do you call them, the fucking- NFTs? Yeah, monkey. Because when he plays the game he can use his virtual knife. Yeah, it's like- The cool part is that the virtual knives, they appreciate. Yeah, that's what I mean.

It's like a real currency. Well, they go up and down. Yeah. Well, what's it at now? What's it at now? Like right now? Right now. Like what we could say, like would it pick that?

We can take what it's at right now. Just what about the wave and like where it might go? That's about right. Yeah, that's right. OK. It's actualized profits. It's actualized profits? It's actualized profits? A thousand, but down.

A thousand down. And then add a few more hundred to the thousand. Down. So 12.5? You know what's really cool? Is that you can't even show them without opening up Counter-Strike. But you can describe how cool it is to them.

I could, yeah, it's blue. Ooh! I love that color. That changes things. I feel like I'm wearing a red color. It's a good color. You don't see a lot of blue. It's a very poison color.

I'm cool, I listen to music, I listen to music, I'm cool. I'm sick. All right, on that note. Is that the most expensive thing you've bought that's virtual? Ooh, hoo hoo. No. Because that, you know.

Yeah! What about that little empty apartment you bought? Wait, what was more- was your gloves more expensive? I don't want to talk about the gloves. You can't be ashamed of it if you like the stuff. It's cool. A guy from Ohio said if you like the stuff, holding a beer

in his hand. Oh my gosh. Hey man, I've never played no Catastrophe. Me and some bar in middle America trying to explain why my factory new vice gloves are actually Billy Queen. The game where you kill terrorists is worth the money. Bob, those guys got $20,000 gloves. On the computer though. Oh shit. Oh shit, let's see him.

He can't show us unless he starts up again. I need a computer, I need to be on my computer to show you. You got like a physical version of them or? Physical? Show us unless you start something I need a computer, I need to be on my computer to show you You got like a physical version of them or? Physical? You have a certificate? A certificate? Bill?

I don't know No, like something non-fungible Like a little token to like represent that It's not actually that How do you funge something? What are we cracking here, Grayden? These are some zines, is that alright with you? What M.G. are we cracking on you funge something? Just walk out of preschool, did you pick me up from daycare?

He's not used to six I hit a three yesterday I'm fine. I said the yesterday three today is six tomorrow who knows Before they invented it For a moment you have a subreddit for your show Yeah, have you like your subreddit first off if I love going on there. He loves it. I go through phases I don't go on every day, but they'll talk nice about my girl on there And I'll be like that's nice, and I have a burger and I go into the threads and I'm like The ones where it says that he's funnier than me he goes like fuck yeah What you're asking I was asking because when you pop this Zin in it reminded me of, we went through a brief controversy on our subreddit where we were talking about Zins too much after a trip and we've been called out for promoting nicotine products. Oh, yeah, we get called for cigarettes. They're like, you guys talk so casually about cigarettes, and I'm like I'm not telling them to smoke them

I also don't give off wine fuck Watching something and you're like Store you are already fucked You can watch guys talk about cigarettes. You've done a worm? You are screwed, dude. We say a lot of worse stuff than, hey, we smoked a cig this weekend. You better turn around and stare at the wall for the rest of your life. What do you guys think was your biggest controversy on the subreddit?

Biggest controversy? In terms of ones that are like, come on, let's touch grass. We've never had to apologize, but when we did bring Dignan back the other co-host yeah recently his whole bit for about 40 minutes was migrants Summary of that episode was pretty much like a big focus on migrant crime Like what do you mean a bit about migrant crime it wasn't a That's just I don't know. At least he's honest about it. He says how he feels, you know?

At least he's telling the truth about migrant crime. Well it's not the truth, it's what he thinks the truth is. Because I correct him. The harmless thing is that he was complaining about Albanians taking the good Twitch streaming jobs. Which doesn't really seem like a real thing. It didn't make any sense.

It doesn't make any sense. So it's almost like, yeah. Shout out Tony on TikTok. He did a Albanian. What's the jingle he did? The jingle? Can't trust out there and you never will be able to. And back. Oh, yeah.

I did do like a baby back ribs, baby back ribs parody of Achilles. Take these Albanians Sorry so he was your co-host he was You guys gave him a raise Takes what he needs when he needs it. He's not really I don't see him when he's not on the show. You said his name is Dignan. Dignan, yeah. He was gone for a few months actually and then he returned with a big thing.

I don't know where he was. He came back with like four tear tattoos. This is true, the only guy I ever met who my dad says that's a dangerous guy because he knows Hitman was an Albanian guy and he just called him A. And he was bald. This is all true. Just A? Well if you're a Hitman you have to be bald. You get a pair. Yeah. And you have a barcode on the back. No one's gonna hire you. If I walked up and was like,

yeah I'll get him killed for you. Nice middle part. Alright moving on to our little game here. It's you global warming is not real. It was a cool day We're on the same page right now Yeah, it's Nick all right, it's not gonna go slime here. It's actually lovely Trump Global warming sure let's talk about nuclear warming Happen a lot faster Yeah, that's all we got this was on a primo episode actually so it was deep in the okay so on the primo I'm allowed to espouse my right wing views, but it's good for you Right keep your right. I keep my grip paywall. What's the conservative YouTube called? What's what do you mean?

Oh rumble there you go. Oh, yeah, I love that throw it up on run that stuff Rumble got scammed by speed I think about it every day how speeding Kai speak scan them you know about this Well, they do they got paid millions of dollars to have a Speed and Kai show. They had this like movie Hollywood production trailer for it. Oh, yeah. Six streams scheduled over six months. They do them. They don't promote them at all. They have horrible viewership. It ends.

Now they start doing them on YouTube. They get 400,000 combined viewers and everyone on Twitter just goes, yeah, the greatest heist of all time. No one's like mad that they did it. No, no, no. Good shit taking the money from the rumble people. Wow, it's probably not even conservative. Let's be honest Probably the Saudis The money let's not open up that can We talk about Saudi Aramco on this podcast

No, but they brought he's probably the reason they took Phil Nicholson from me. There is a real domino pass from Jamal Kishagi to live golf. Deadass. He got put into a lunchbox pretty much. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, That's one. Yeah, you seem like a business guy. A smart one at that. Small business. Small business. I wanted to be clear, as me, yes. That it's little people like, you know, like Tyrion Lannister. Yeah, not children.

What did you think we thought? Tyrion Dinklage, you're right, yes. Good. It's good. You cleared that. What did you think we thought? I just wanted to make sure. This is Deuclidge, by the way. There was a Deuclidge. I'm serious. Deuclidge, you're right. To be a place for him to come. They don't call elementary school little people school. That's a different.

Maybe they shouldn't. No, they call it. Never mind. I had the quick time of it. It's so clean. Maybe they shouldn't. Yeah, and this was us talking about business ventures. I think it's pretty clear what you're talking about.

You're talking about a brothel for little people. But can big guys go? For and by, if you will. For by people too. Hell yeah. They should be allowed in. You also made a child pageant. That was not...

It was for adults. It's true. True. Yeah. He's a terrible guy, so. That, to be fair, is like an everyone thing. We made up the child pageant. What do be fair is like an everyone thing. We wanted us to child pageant. What do you mean it's an everyone? Not us.

You guys have so much pressure you got to do. You've never hatched a plan to have a child pageant for adults. What do you mean for adults? What is the for adults? And Riley's an excellent question. Only adults can go. But I think that's rational. Confuses some.

Why don't we? You think the names are confusing. Let's just move on. Let's just move on. Keep some use by that, I guess. I was so clear that the child pageant was adults only. That's a lot of work. Wow.

Well, really. What? What? Really, you guys mean it. It's all you. That was so. That was about it. What's your guess here?

It is clear. My guess is slime. Yeah, it's a good one too. It was actually Aiden. What? So real shit. They were all in on this. They all came to me one time and they said, we have an idea for you.

Ludwig. Well, Lud's the money guy. I'm the money guy. I'm the money guy. You could have gone to dad for money. You know, I'm the trump of this situation. Could have sworn it was slime, but go ahead. Yeah, and well, they all came to me and they said,

we have an idea. It's a child pageant for adults only. And Aiden made it clear that no children were allowed. There'd be no kids in the child pageant. It's a child, why is it called a child pageant? Adults only. That's a good question. I don't know, it's so hard to back. It's a child. Why is it called a child adults only question? Child is the qualifying work you just take that just call it a pageant Well, the child On the sign and then you realize I was for adults to come to the event, right?

Fire Well, it's open qualifier. So what would you guys want? I can do a good walk in the Midwest. You know, I did a pageant. Yeah, well, we'll chop off your shins like Hank Hill's dad. And then we'll get you guys walking on the road. This is like Danny DeVito and Morgue makeup. You know, yeah, I didn't do it. We do. We do not do kids. All right. Next one. Mansodle kids. Alright next one.

Manscaped, they get it by farming Iberian children's blood and putting it in the batteries. When did we say this? I think we said this during a Manscaped time. Did they pay us? Did we get paid for this? I don't know. You guys also, this isn't sponsored, you can say whatever you want. I just Manscaped to shave my cat's asshole today. Really?

Your cat is a girl so I don't know about that. My cat is a We've never seen oh, yeah, but you can use it. Thank you. You can't scape not a man You can scape anything if you try I can't keep the cat is fluid. You got his quick Is a girl but identifies as a man Ders is a... Anyway, yeah, the shape of Ders is asshole today Alright, who do you think threw this one out? I'm gonna go with Manscaped, it's probably just in the copy

It's in the brief Must say I think this is Nick I think it's Slime again No, this has to be fucking Slime I'm gonna say Slime Dude, you're lying I don't even know what Iberia is Has to be fucking No, pull up a map. What's that country? They got that Iberian ham. It is the one that we made you point on a map. It's real.

Kosovo? Yeah, can you find Kosovo on a map? You want them to point to Kosovo on the map? No. Okay. I thought you were about to bank that. He always loves playing geography games. Can you back it up a second? I want to make sure I read this right. I said, Manscaped. They get it by farming Iberian children's blood and putting it in batteries.

When I hear you say it, it sounds right. You probably watched a documentary of mine batteries. I hear you say it. It sounds right Fresh vote that's where they get the ham Head ham we talked to speak we were gonna bring ham Let's promise to ham on the phone. Yeah, right. I ate it on the way. There was a lot of traffic dude. I do see some ham netting coming out of your mouth. And it's not lip gloss, that's honey. When did we get the ham?

I conked out for a second. Damn, moving on. Yeah, Osama bin Laden is a generational talent. That's true. I could be anybody. I do know him. That's just someone observing the game. Yeah, he could who? Yeah.

Yeah, he's a tall guy. Nobody talks about him. I've seen him on his Euroleague years. No lying. I think he was not 6'8". He was like 6'5". OBL was a bucket. Adjusted for inflation though.

Right, right, right. Didn't Bin Laden have like a karaoke machine? Like a Lady Gaga karaoke machine or something? No, it wasn't just Lady Gaga. He had a karaoke machine and then on his hard drive there was like a bunch of Lady Gaga albums. And sick video games. Yeah, he like modded out old- Visual Boy Advance emulator. And child porn.

What? So yeah. Wow, so he really was a bad guy. Turned out he was a bad guy. Dude, you killed that. I think that's wrong. I was on defense. What's your guess? I'm gonna go with Nick on this one.

It's actually me. I'm looking so much about my vibe. Honestly, I am just going based on an alternation thing. It hasn't been a Nick one in a while. We're losing the test to take the test. You should have done it. I didn't been a Nick one in a while. He has to take the test. Yeah. Yeah, I should have done it. I didn't study. All right. Next. My wife makes me dress up as Donald Duck and quack into her box.

Oh, the fuck is a wife and empty. I'm going to say that's slime again, because I can't see his left ring finger. How long have you been in a relationship? Me? That feels a little personal. We don't barely know each other. Jesus Christ. You just talked about evasive disaster. She is hot. Super hot.

So hot you wouldn't even believe it. You'd say, how did that happen? That's great. You're a tall guy. I get it. I get it. I'm learning out of winks. He's new to it.

I'm going to go with, I go with,, nah I go with Nick again It's Nick Alright, what's your thoughts? It's Lyme It's actually Nick You seem married because you're more reserved I'm not married He's close to it I'm just not married

He's been saying my wife for a while though He said this while dressed as a in a judge wig a smart man once said my wife loving My wife my wife my wife my wife you know that song holy shit I know you're in music, but It was a Roy Ayers interpolation or where that came from Rolling 909 shirt that's hard as fuck. I got that from Dylan over there great shirt 2009 shirt that's hard as fuck got that from Dylan. I got that from Dylan over there great shirt. Yeah, Roland Yard by the way, can I take a leak wake right in the back? Absolutely? Yes. Yeah whenever thank you

Next one women are constantly telling me I'm wrong, and I will get my revenge Ludwig Massage and you'll come out of my based on how you made us review that dude kiss and how weird you felt about it. I'm going with you on this one. I was showing that it's OK. You look like a bit afterwards. I don't think he was a good kisser is that my fault. He has salty lips. Because he's Australian. Yeah, it was like any kiss like is facing the other.

Yeah, it's weird. Oh I'll go with slime. You know you slime guess what bitch. It's Nick Pass things up with the women you think so I no longer would like historically he's the misogynistic one. Yeah Are you the wild card is that the deal I think I am but you know when the show goes long enough everyone kind of Becomes Charlie, you know yeah Is the one who has put out the most death threats against fellow YouTube It's not a death threat if you want someone to get in a paramotor and sail over the pyramids in the paramotor and maybe the paramotor is not very well maintained. It's not a death threat. Do you have anything to do with the making of any of that stuff? Like are you setting anything up?

I kind of put my hands on my hips and I say looks fine. Are you flying with them? Oh, okay. Are you flying with them? No, absolutely not. I'm just scared of heights. Right. Yeah, I'm scared of heights. But I'll be there. I'm scared of the pyramids.

I'm scared of the power. Hopefully this freaked me out. How not. I'm just scared of heights. Right. Yeah, I'm scared. But I'm scared of the pyramids. Scared that's how it freaked me out. How do you do it? Pointy. Aaron Rodgers up next. One baby died this week because of my actions, but I had to do it for science. Ludwig. I'm learning about my vibe to.

I feel like. Niggins lime. Guess what? Actually, Aiden. Fuck. I was my next guess. When did I say? When did I say this? When did you say this? Aiden, this is when you tried drinking breast milk at a friend's house. At a friend's house, like we're hitting the bong and then deciding to try it. Did you not do this?

No, we didn't hit the bong. You tried breast milk at a friend's house. I tried the breast milk. How old is that? This is by the way during the short interview. Of the breast milk. I'm 27 right now, so I was 26. You were 26.

This is during the shortage to be clear, which is why a baby died. Shortage wasn't last year. There was a mega shortage last year. Adderall and breast milk. No, you don't keep up with babies. Wait, you took Adderall first? Yeah. babies. I don't wait. You took Adderall first. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I don't want either of these demographics to get what they need.

And I would say breast milk is kind of a drug in a way. Who's your drug guy? Who drug guy? Yeah, by far. That surprises me. They're both sober men. There's well, so you were the drug guys. I was. He never was. I was at a Benzo problem. were the drug guys. I was he never was I was a benzo problem most of the ex

12 years, but congratulations congrats on that. That's a really hard one to quit. I'll say you telling me brother Yeah, I know some friends. Yeah, it's the real deal He but you know he drinks breast milk as why are you as a man? Not while I'm doing drugs to be clear But you did drink breast milk and it was a year ago Sober How- who's breast? Who's- I need to know Who's breast? I know women

Who's breast? Who are lactating Oh Oh wow what an alias And you pulled a clap back? Yeah Yeah I thought you were just saying you know women

I thought that was cool My- my- my girlfriend's a nanny and she takes care of her. Okay, this is gonna get weird. And she said, try the breast milk. And I said no. And she's like, you have to. So you stole the breast milk? Yeah, did you guys do this like in the dead of night? Like out of the fridge?

Under a bridge. Like you didn't get it directly from the breast. No, I was not hitting the tit. I was just... Yeah? Oh wait, yeah. Yeah, you were telling me that. It was really salty, right? Oh my god.

No, he pulled it out. Oh. And didn't expect it to lactate. You were allowed to pull it out? It's nutritious. He drew, he was. He drew he drew. He drew. Yeah, it's probably one of them back back room once, you know, you're not really allowed to do that.

Bazooka is Detroit. Detroit, that's the name of the spot. The Zooka is the name of the Brie town. Use code the yard. We're going to get 20 percent off. 20 percent of the day is the Zooka. All right. Next one. That was Aidan. Timon! I'm a convicted pedophile.

Oh! Hahaha! Wait, the answer's gonna be bad. What is time in mean? Like, you had a time out and then like you're timing back in? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then you say that? Yes. Exactly.

Okay. I'm glad you picked up on that right away. Ludwig? Yeah, that's what I said. Sorry? No, it's okay. I don't know. That's okay. I'm going slime. It was me. The context of this is we were all doing an episode dressed as the other person and I was Ludwig the entire time. Oh, okay. And we had a rule where you could time out to be yourself if you needed to.

Oh, okay. So we timed a rule where you could time out to be yourself, if you needed to. Ah, okay. So we timed in and then I would be the weapon. So I timed in to say something he has, does, and will say all the time. Right, totally. That's fucked up. Thank you. I was just quoting the guy who said it.

Thank you to Manscape for sponsoring this podcast. How far did you guys go to dress up like each other? Do you shave your face? No. Well, actually at the time I didn't have a beard. I got a wig. We dressed up. I'd say like high school video.

You have to make a video for Spanish class level of work. I got a bald cap. Weared one of his hats. Nick went into my closet and got my real clothes. Okay. We tried a bit. Yeah. You actually looked great. Thank you.

You wore glasses. You were all black. It was... Yeah. You're really handsome. It's an easy fit to match. Everyone thinks you're handsome when we like it. When you are...

You think so? Handsome. We like you. Appreciate that. Next one. Still doing this game. Wait, that's it. That's the last one.

Yay! Yay! I think I won. I think I won. I think. Final score, 2000 points. Seven. Seven.

It's fine. It's close. Is this edited or is this live? It's edited. Oh, okay. But I mean, it's edited. It's edited. It's edited.

It's edited. It's edited. It's edited. It's edited. It's edited. It's edited. It's edited. It's edited. It's edited. It 2,000 points, 7. 7, fine. That's close. Wait, is this edited or is this live? Oh, it's edited. Oh, okay.

But I mean, it's like... Whoa. Can you piss? Oh, absolutely. Yeah. Do you think I killed him? No, no, no. He needs to go piss.

We'll just talk without you. Guys, what things do you think are most enjoyed hard? Hmm. The gut. Probably my penis, like the thing on my balls. I was thinking roads to glory. The thing on your balls. I was thinking like job stoppers.

Ooh, job stoppers for sure. I was thinking maybe the penis attached to my balls, my torso, my pelvis. The problem for me is that my- My shit's small. But it gets bigger sometimes, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. The problem for me is that mine isn't hard.

It's just soft. Oh. Much like, much unlike a road to glory. I'm struggling. You can use a little boost. I could use a little boost. I'm not going to lie about it. I'm 34.

That's respectable. I want you to feel confident and hard. Yeah. And I got something special for you. It's called HIMS, the sponsor of today's podcast. Oh, thanks. Yeah, that's right. It's a personalized ED company.

ED treatment? It's personalized ED treatment for you or you. Or me? Or you. Or you. That sounds pretty cool. I've heard it's simple and 100% online. I don't have to go to a doctor and say,

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I wouldn't say I'm getting down, but I'm pretty down buy something that gets you up. You know You know what I mean, so go to hims.com slash the yard. That's H I M S. Oh, I'm sorry you doing it now. Sorry That's H I M S dot bomb slash the yard. That's H-I-M-S. Oh, I'm sorry, are you doing it now? Sorry. That's H-I-M-S. Dot slash. Slash the yard. Oh, Aiden ruined the whole thing. For your personalized ED treatment options, Hims.com slash the yard.

Aiden, why don't you read the tiny text for us. The products mentioned are chewable compound products which are not approved by or verified for safety or effectiveness by the FDA. Prescriptions require an online consultation with a health care provider who will determine if appropriate Restrictions apply see website for details and important safety information subscription required price varies based on product and subscription plan I can't even afford I can't wait till you're bigger man. We're gonna get you there. You're gassing him up I'm gassing him up because I got the hymns on the way and he is going to be a happy little guy

Have you tried rubbing it? Hmm Speaking of dickheads now have you repeat while road tripping? Huh? Have you repeat while road tripping like in a bottle or a cup? Yeah, of course Yeah Have you done it while driving?

Not while driving, no Dude, I used to do it and I used to be good at it Until I drove next to this dude, it was like dead stop traffic. So it wasn't dangerous It was on a highway and then this guy in a truck pulls up next to me saw my whole dick out saw my whole operation okay he's high up and I couldn't like drive away so I just sit there my Volkswagen peeing into a Dunkin Donuts what trucker recognizes real like those guys pissing bottles. No, it's just like a Ford F-350. Oh, just like a big ass truck. Yeah, if it was a trucker, he'd be like... Yeah.

And pull up his. Just like a suburban-ite, like, I got a big truck. Were you peeing into a cup? Yeah, Dunkin' Donuts, like, large cup. Oh, okay. But like through the lid of it, because I didn't want like splash back. Through what part of the lid?

They do like those like little holes. Oh, like little nozzle tip lid? And like mine's so big it wouldn't fit in it. Right. Right. Right. But the meat is... You're talking about where the straw goes in. No, no, no. That's what I was picturing. I was like, there's no way. You don't have to have those new age like, oh, you don't use a straw. We've made an opening and it's like a parabola. I know what you're talking about. That is a very small target. Damn well. So I think the Dunkin Donuts one's like, it's like a parabola. I know what you're talking about. A sippy lid. That is a very small target. Damn well.

So, I think the Dunkin' Donuts one's like, it's like bigger than average. It's bigger than average. And I get it, it wasn't in it, right? I couldn't fit it in it. Right. But I had to just... What's the gap of from the head of your penis where your pee is coming out and the lid, there's a gap?

A womp rat. What? Sorry. Womp rat. Size of a womp rat. Like in Star Wars? Yeah.. Is it like an inch of like piss that's not touching anything? So what's the size? Like is your tip touching the lid? Is it? It has to make direct contact.

It has to make a seal. Yeah. Right. Right. Because I like if it's a Gatorade bottle, it's just like a little bit more of an opening. And then you can just kind of like you're close to it and you just spread it. My shit is if it's one of them, you you know fairly medium sized one. The shit just goes right The most unsettling part is whenever you pee into a bottle or anything is just how warm it is That's how warm I am yeah, am I crazy to love crazy how hot it is. And then you're like, that's how warm I am. I love that. Am I crazy to love that?

I like it, but I used to work on a Christmas tree farm. And I would go pee in the porta potties. And I was like, oh my god, there's steam coming off of it. Like, it's like, and then the whole thing's steaming. It's crazy how hot your piss is. Yeah. Love the drinking fountain down there, by the way, in the toilet. Oh, yeah. Do you guys have a bidet? How hot your piss is yeah love the drinking fountain down there by the way in the toilet

Do you guys have a bidet we did have one in the house we lived in in Cincinnati yeah But that was like a sink that was like a fuck. You just turned on an old faucet unit thing yeah That's the French way those are weird. Yeah, those are weird. You gotta put your fingers in your asshole. How do you? That's the French way. Those are weird. Yeah. Those are weird. Those are weird because you gotta put your fingers in your asshole and use them. How do you-

That's not weird. Dude. Do you use those by- like you finish at one toilet and then you just go like waddle over to the others? You don't use it after you cum, it's after you poop. You poop-walk to the second toilet. You squ- you waddle. Yeah, yeah. You answer on your ankle.

You wipe- you wipe with toilet paper first. And you flush the toilet paper. So what's the fucking point? Yeah. To living in a country like this dude I we went to Italy once like a years ago and shot a podcast episode and it was because he wanted to go on a vacation country he made us all come anyway we is to Italy and then we so we went to this house and I was just eating

like pastas and and carbs as one does and I watched the entirety of squid game I watched squid game. I didn't do my I leave the hotel. I have a little social battery, right? And I get made fun of for it introverts are protected class. Yeah, that's what I got I think it's fine that you're bald and introverted I wouldn't swirly the fuck Fucking animal I wouldn't swirly the fuck out of you in high school. And that you watched the English dub for Squid Games, I think that's fine. I did not. You watched the English dub. Fucking animal.

And we go into this beautiful villa that we rented as a place to shoot the podcast. And it's amazing. And I took, I think, the top five largest dumps in my life in the toilet of this Italian villa. Can't handle it. Their toilets were not made for my American power. Largest dumps in my life in the toilet of this Italian villa and I had to it there Their toilets were not made for my American power I had to break it up with a pen When I was growing up, I kept eating quarters. And my mom, my mom like took me to the doctor and they're like, oh, I don't know.

You're going to have to check every day to make sure that they come out. Did you like an x-ray? You looked like a gumball machine. And so I literally, I would poop and then I'd walk out of the bathroom and be like, your turn mom Sneak in the quarters I was taking them you're like at dinner and you're like Yeah, would she keep that would she take the money back or would she flush the money they take it a coin star Fucking bugger of shit. It's like that ale shit will do.

No, you're sifting gold on the corn. I promise, this is going to be worth your time. It's worth the 10% fee they take. Take it to Coinstar and just shove poop in there. Yeah. No, I swear there's corn in there. Catch cough drops and poop and paper glitz. No, I'm not homeless.

Fuck, Riley, do you stop eating them? Poop is money! You ain't quite yet, what age, what age was your last quarter eaten? Oh, oh sorry, was I in your space? Low key, yeah. Your space is over there, in my room. Is it cool that you did this? Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's cool.

That's why it's fucked up, that's awesome. Um, last time I ate a quarter, let me think. We're talking like eight. You match yourself, aren't you? I did today. a quarter, let me think. We're talking like eight? You matched yourself, too. I did today. That's- it looks great. Thanks, man. That's thoughtful.

I appreciate that. Very New York. Uh, I probably ate one when I was fifteen, I'm gonna be honest. I think I ate a quarter when I was fifteen. Your mom is taking a look at your teenage dumps. No, no, she didn't- that was not- like, this was one for old times. That was a relapse. It was a genuine one.

I had to stop when I was like six or seven probably. I put a bubble gum wrapper in my ear one time too far. I couldn't get it out. Did you have to go to the hospital? Yeah, panicked and then actually no, this is what you did in a small town. My mom took me to the fire station. There was no urgent care in there. And a fireman looked in my ear with a flashlight and then grabbed tweezers and pulled it out

And it was a bazooka Joe bubble gum wrapper that Depicts you Oh my god, I'm always surprised about how many things firemen do Like the cat in the tree that's a fireman Yeah, and then now they're picking stuff out of kids ears yeah it's like an old trope it's like if you want to abandon your baby you leave it a fire station yeah I know that's how new firefighters are born yeah they raise them their wards of the state they also have sand

if you need sand oh yeah you can go to the fire you know shit like this you're from small town too are you from small town me oh kind of but it's like like a suburb of the city and he was like 15 minutes west of me got it what's your Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Not a lot of people. No, that's what I'm like. This one will be better. That's so small. 84. No, it was 2013. 84 people. You thought you meant 13 people?

I thought you meant 13 people. Of course, I did. That's so tiny. You had one teacher for the whole school. You don't have a plumbing for 16 people. It was like 84 people. We all, you know. Yeah, my graduating class, 69 kids.

Not even a joke. Oh, hell yeah. Hell, you should start a discord. 69 kids in school. Clip that. Alright. Like 84 people, we all, you know. Yeah, my graduating class, 69 kids, not even joking. Oh, hell yeah. You 69 kids, cool.

Quit that. Alright, let's get this again. Walked right into that one. Yeah, do you know all of them still? 100%. I could rattle off, I think, every one of my graduating classmates. A couple of them are dead. I was gonna say ripped, but to a couple of them, I'm gonna have to do worse.

One person, I've mentioned this before, she had seven kids and then died in her sleep, ah, isn't that crazy? Seven kids is a lot. I know Genuinely, I think before now wasn't before I'm on Emerald. Shit. Genuinely, I think before, no it wasn't before I'm working out. Anyway. The eighth dwarf. That's something that happens. The stoner dwarf. You live in those small towns, it's like people are getting on fucking four wheelers,

they're getting on jet skis and stuff. It's just, it's more common and it hits harder because there's less of you. You're like, oh shit. So you guys are like childhood friends? Uh, like we met when we were like 15, 16. Yeah. Right when we finished with the quarters thing

Yeah, sorry last quarter Classic class with only like seven kids in it by chance or we're really small classroom with not a lot of kids in the school Yeah, no, we were in corners Huge Basketball team Yeah, then I got cut. Did you guys fuck with each other? Did you immediately like each other when you met and were friends?

Um, it took a second. We were like part of the same friend group, but never hung out alone until we were like 20. Yeah, okay. And then we were hanging out alone. Until you ciphered for the first time. Yeah, freestyle. You realize it was lit.

Riley went through a phase where he was like drinking gas station vodka and I was like this guy's fucking sick I did do that for a minute. I would buy the cheapest vodka I could walk around the party just like drinking things like cleaning Xbox disc Toothpaste and vodka. Toothpaste, banana peels, quarters And I was real country and Riley was kind of my gateway into what I thought was like the cool artsy world. Mmm. Okay. I was like an art kid.

Yeah. And then he was like a hick. What do you mean when you say art kid? Like I was like a, I was an illustrator and then I was like super into music and I was like a hipster back in the day. That was kind of the vibe. Yeah. I was like a music blogger before this. Oh shit.

Real. Did you have like a magazine that you did shit for? Or just a blog? Yeah, I worked for like All Things Go was a blog that I wrote for for a second. And then The Alternative, which became like a big emo blog, I wrote for them. And then there was a magazine on my college campus

I wrote for. But then, I mean, I was just kind of doing like posting it on Tumblr and shit too. I was just kind of doing like posting it on tumblr and shit Too I was just getting my shit out there and then Started doing hive mind like 2017 20 until an uber driver like if they ask what do you do? I would tell do I say graphic designer. Oh, you just lie. Yeah. Well, I mean that's my degree Clean is graphic design and I don't want them to ask me. How do you make money on YouTube? Which is what they always ask so I just don't say or do you know mr. Beast?

Right. Yeah, I usually tell them the truth to be honest. Yeah, I say I run like a show Or yeah, I say or I say I run like a production studio. Yeah. Yeah, you talked to every uber driver though That you guys are talking about that Aiden's hour guy a man after my own heart oh i love it i say can i sit up here and he's like no one else is with you i'm like hey nice to meet you name's graden yeah the true one i can drive like you

take a load off me get the back yeah i love shooting the shit with random people man how old are you guys i'm 30 you're 30 Young and spry yeah, so your 20s. I respect that. Yeah, so you were fucking you were in the shit though You're 34. How are you 28 28? Yeah, 27 29 29 I'll wait till they're all fucking 30 man. I hate it. I don't think I'll ever turn 30

Yeah, you can die then die simply. Oh, yeah, you turn 30 soon December Yeah, do you think about it? I've been telling everyone for the last year and a half everyone I meet uber drivers and what have you so absolutely I say I'm 30. Oh In the blow. Yeah prepping. I've just been prepping because 29 is like then it's like instantly. Oh, that's me 30 I just tell everyone I'm already 30 and And then most reactions, most people I meet, to be honest, are like 60. And so their reaction is like, a lot of life ahead. And so then I still feel good about it.

Yeah, I say 29 is worse than 30, because everybody's just like, are you scared to be 30? That's all they ever do. I'm like, being 30, it feels like you're like at the beginning of a new decade, you know? And then you hit 34 and you're like, dude, 40 is like not that far. And then it gets real scary. Yeah.

So what are you scared of? Death. Hello. Hi. Hi. No, it's not necessarily death. It's more of just like time isn't as much. Not necessarily death, but like I don't have as much time.

I started playing Tekken this year, I really like Tekken. Awesome. Tekken 2 specifically. I play Tekken 8. So and I'm like, I want to get really good. And you're calculating, you're like, how many years of my 30s will I spend playing Tekken? Yeah. And you got to start allocating. And then you think about doing other stuff that actually means stuff.

Yeah, like playing Tekken 2 instead of Tekken 8. Allocating and then you think about I do and other stuff that like actually means Vintage Sweet vintage just looks at celebrities who got famous when they were older to feel better. Yeah Yeah, I always am I oh dude Anderson pack Yeah, you know like he was like 32 or something when he was on the double XL freshman. Sure. It's fucked up because you get older than those guys. Yeah. Yeah. Well, then you start watching sports. Watching sports is like crazy. Like this 6'2", 330 pound lineman is 25. Besides his second maximum contract. They're like, they're like, Patrick Mahomes is getting kind of old. He's 28. And I'm like, I'm two years older than that guy.

He's won three Super Bowls. It's only the first, the oldest guy you could think of is younger than Slime. You're like, and Anderson Paak. He's like, he's 32. He's all the way to 32. Right, right. But that's when he blew up.

He was a limp, and a cane. I think what I hate about this is when I was was young and I would listen to like older people in my Complain about this exact thing. I was like, doesn't fucking matter. Like why are you complaining about that? And I'm realizing as I get a year older every year There's more and more people and I'm I'm having this inevitable same feeling. Yeah, right The Olympics was the worst part. Watching the like 21 year old Crush the 200 meter and I'm like, that's a thing. I will never be I would never have been him anyway You start checking things off and you in your 20s you kind of lie to yourself

It's like oh, yeah that guy's like a Olympic like gymnast or that person's like doing like you're like I could But then you hit certain ages where you really do start like crossing shit out Sylvia Plath called it the fig tree and they fall off and they're just a happy gal so Sylvia outlive Jesus outlive Sylvia yeah yeah I found out yesterday that I've passed my prime that I can't be an Olympian because I did the 99 meter dash and I was like I can I can probably get there like I could probably run it fast and because I did the 99 meter dash and I was like, I can, I can probably get there. Like I could probably run it fast. And then I lost to like E Rob. E Rob's athletic. He's not, he's not. I lost to Austin show.

So you got humbled for once. I got humbled by just like four random people who stream. Yeah. Good. Vinny Hacker. That guy's a, you just named three people that are in great shape. That guy's a- I don't know this. You just named three people that are in great shape. Yeah, he's so hot. That's great. He is so hot.

What was his first, uh, and like, when did you first experience Ludwig? Like, the first time he ever came across? Did you? Or do you do the thing that I do? Did you even know who- Were you about to do a podcast, or you just look up the podcast and you're like, I gotta watch? I know, like, I knew- I know who you are, but I have not watched very much.

But I know that you're- How does that happen? What do you mean? Like, how do you know someone and it's like- He's terminally online. I have not watched very much. But I know that you're like, How does that happen? What do you mean? Like how do you know someone? And it's like, He's terminally online. I'm online all the time. I have friends who are like big fans of you,

stuff like that. But like, I just, I don't, I don't remember a specific time. Like, oh, that's the, Not terminally, I didn't mean it like that. Well, yeah, I got time left. Yeah. I got some time.

Yeah. But yeah, I don't know. You're like, you're all over the internet. That's how it goes. Okay. That is so sweet By the way, you said terminally online you realize you were like, hold on by the way I didn't mean that we don't do that. Oh, yeah Yeah, it's the first thing I noticed I watched you guys show was you're very nice to each other

You're on each other's team. Oh, what episode did you watch that was sarcastic? I'm sure what he did that comforting me things He didn't see that way. That's good That was sarcastic. I'm sure what he did that comforting me things Yeah, you guys are nicer to you're much nicer each other than we are I think that the spectrums like you know I made Aiden cry on the show once I have no idea who you are fuck. Yeah, dude. I'm not a really nice guy Just what I'd like to be a guy who like it's like he put this in and it wasn't for a long time But it was in there Water fountain downstairs in your toilet. I thought about that. I was like, does he still have this in him? No, spit that shit. I should have swallowed it. I was just weird. Huh? You chewed on and swallowed it

I think I swallowed it but it makes it freaks you out for a little bit Sometimes no, you're lots Real dip You know, sometimes, you're lots. I used to like a real dip. But I like 12 years old model and you'd have it in class and I would get a large McDonald's Coke and I'd train myself to spit through the straw. So it would look like I was drinking the coke in class. I'd be like, oh, squeeze it down into a straw without a drop going anywhere. That guy drinking coke in reverse. That's not weird. But guy's drinking coke in reverse

That's how Ludwig wishes he could pee into that You gotta wide your eithra that's alright I found out I like guys because You made a video called ranking the funniest tweets of all time. Yes. Yeah, you featured me in it. Yes the funniest tweets of all time. Yes. And you featured me in it. Yes! Oh, funny Twitter.

A lot of people sent me your video and they're like, you were in this. And then I was like, oh my god, funniest tweets of all time. How endearing. I got to watch this video. And you guys read my tweet and you're like, yeah, it's like C, I don't know, and then move on. We've done so many of those.

And I'm like, we just, the rating on any tier list that we've given also means absolutely nothing Yeah, like he says whatever he thinks the funniest one to give it is you know thanks for saying that I think that's the right thing to say Yeah, how funny can you be in a couple sentences, and you made it to the list? You're more of a real-life enjoyable person yeah touch some fake grass every now and again. What was your tweet? I think it was about action Bronson action Bronson comparing having sex to women to Fettuccine Alfredo oh hell yeah something in that realm have you seen the the what's it called the fake action

Bronson thing what is it called actual Bronson oh yeah yeah it's like at like a fake action Bronson it's accidental bro yeah yeah just, it's like at like a fake action Bronson. It's accidental. Oh, yeah. Yeah, just shit. That sounds like a bar that you would say it's like stuff from all over the internet. Different mediums were just like, yeah, that's awesome. It's great. I've you know, you got Matt at Ludwig for having an invasive question. I'm about to ask one that's perhaps less invasive.

Oh, OK. Ask it to everybody on the show. Sure. Actually, most people do are you fellas? Circumcised or uncircumcised penises on your penises. Oh on our penises Definitely uncircumcised and I'm I'm not sure about mine. Okay I'm not uncircumcised. It was a botched job. They botched it.

It was a botched job. You don't have a botched one? They botched it. You're the second person to have a botched one. It's like this. It's like this. It looks like a video. It's barely doing it because it's called Sawdust.

It's like Take 6 or something. It's a... they fucked it up. Really? It's fine. Everything's good? Everything's working? Yeah, it works. And it's mine. It works great. It works fine. Everything's good? Everything's working? Yeah, it works and it's mine.

It works great. It's unique. Alright, the first.5 I think. Okay, and we have two right? I'm snipped. I'm snipped clean. Wow. Just looking normal. Someone else did have a.5.

We had a normal. What do you mean by that? Yeah, wait don't say normal. Well because... Because that half of the room is both cut. Regular? Yeah, regular. But you guys are cut. Pretty. Yeah, look most of the world is both regular regular You guys are cut pretty

Most of the world is uncircumcised But in the land of the goddamn free where we beat the shit out of England in World War two So why is the land of the free the one where you have to get your dick cut? We were in the other team and not a lot of freedom. We beat it. We beat their dumb that Winston Churchill We sent his nasty uncut fucking dick. You don't know what happened in that war. Back to France. Yeah, that's what you say. Churchill back to France with a nasty, uncut dick. That's right. Pissing me off.

And then we come back and we all and we cut working off of thousands of these slavery chains to this union. As a union, we have five damn more about it. Yeah. And then we I think it's cool that you guys are uncut. Thank you House that was half and half yeah, right to cut to uncut so you know people right? I know yeah, I had a girl grab it once and say you pull it out Oh, no, she reached out. She's not back, what is that? And then she went, feels like a worm.

That's fucking such fun. And then she took it and threw it and got a paper with it like them sticky hands. I was like, imagine if the worm was slightly larger. It would be fun. Yeah, it's more of a snake. Almost. Well, okay, another thing I wanted to bring up, Zippor, if you're ready, is uh, You didn't run this show. I didn't run this show, I was just the guy who put it together this time. I'm just impressed. He runs the show, he's the guy who will mostly say outlandish things,

he's the bisexual one, So I'm bringing a lot to the table. Who brings a lot to the table, diversity, and I have a lot of the table brings a lot to the table diversity and I Have a lot of money His job is to show up not EP Oh You know what 4 p.m.. That'll do it But you guys are you guys are music heads

Cool now we as a group who we all worked on this, and we have this idea. We all worked on this. We want to bring to you, we think we can make an impact on the music world, the rap world specifically, but music too. Because you have ends with music, and we're gamers. We don't know anything about music. Games don't have music, actually. Time for six white guys to change the rap game. That's exactly what I'm saying. And part of that is this idea that we've been brewing. And we think you guys, you're basically the test audience.

Okay, and then we'll ship it up the ladder if it's awesome. The newest, hottest rap asterisk sensation. Is the asterisk sensation. Oh, is the asterisk on hottest or rap? Because you put it in the wrong spot. It's in the beginning of a presentation. Subtitles are going back to the beginning of rap. Welcome to Young Bitch. OK. So Aidan, right there, you can see him.

So there's this idea that we will create a rap superstar named Young Bitch. And I don't have a hat on. He will be be the newest hottest thing to hit the whole scene alright? Okay. He's the next generation of rappers, he's already tapped in to what music needs alright? He has an exotic eating disorder Twitter frame That's what that is, eating disorder Twitter. That's what that stands for Why are you saying it like it's in common thing it is really common yeah, yeah, you're not

Inspiration no, you don't know what thinspo is really bad. You're on exit app a lot Oh, well X the everything app you're on that a lot is that what it's called now X the everything X the everything out you talk to grok. I've never talked to Okay, okay, I've never talked to Grok. Oh my god. I know some people who know Grok. Okay, okay, okay. I can link you with Grok. If you can throw me up there, that'd be great. Grok send this up the chain.

If these guys can't, we'll be talking to Grok. I'll say that in my... Grok, second best Titan of all time. I see white but working on it. That makes me do this. He currently has Invisalign, so that's something that's progressing. Do you have it in right now?

Yeah. Yeah, I saw it in right now? Yeah. Yeah, I saw it earlier. Yeah, great. Return it to a grill. You want that? Okay. We're going to make the first Invisalign grill. Paul Wall Invisalign.

Aren't they already grills? That's disgusting. It's just like the fucking tone and everything. If you spray paint Invisalign, is that not grills? No. How are you gonna help change the rap game? It's more affordable. They didn't rob the jewelry store and fix their teeth. Oh wait yeah which one fixes your teeth grills? I'm paying for some crazy subscriptions right now. You're paying for crazy subscriptions? Discord's got crazy shit. It used to be ten dollars for Nitro You pay fifty dollars a month. Wampus Jax is a little shit onto your picture. Wampus is being his little shit? You're paying for Wampus? How are you paying for it? Fifty dollars a month for a little when you click into your profile little

Wampus animation. You're a big hand with Jack's little shit. Is it every time? Every time? He's got a big... Does it share the same design philosophy of sort of like rounded square corners? But you don't open your Discord profile that much, so I kind of forgot. Does it stink? Wampus with Jack and his little shit? Does it stink? It doesn't stink. They don't have it.

They can't make it stink more, Blake. Is it pink? Well, I want to cancel then. I didn't know it was 50,000 a month. If they can't make it stink, I want to cancel. I'm the same, there's so many more. I've been there. I've been there. Like, you know, these little charges add up and at the end of the day, you look at your bank account,

you're like, hubba Bubba, this ain't worth a whompus cock. So I got the perfect thing for you babies called Rocket Money. I'm not wasting money like you are because I've canceled unwanted subscriptions. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bill so that you can grow your savings. And that's what I'm saying, man. You can have that.

The thing is, I use Rocket Money, but I also rock your honey. Wow. Woo. I use it because it has a wealth tracker. And so I know I your guys, you're being cheated on with with you. I'm the guy. I'm not getting cheated because I actually use rocket money. Although in this world, you don't because you pay for one piece. Now I actually use the look.

I'm being honest with you. I keep the Wumpus cock. I use it to get rid of things like Hulu. There we go. Now we're being honest. So now I'm owning up to it. Are you fucking happy? I just checked my credit score. 550. It went up five. Okay. All right. Jesus Christ.

Most Americans think they spend around $60 a month on subscriptions, but the actual total is closer to 300. Jesus Christ. Look how wrong you are on average. Look how wrong you are. It's okay to be wrong because Rocket Money can right that wrong. Understand your finances.

You can check your credit score like Ludwig did. That was embarrassing to do, but also brave of him. You cannot use Rocket Money to cancel your subscription. No way. It doesn't work. It actually doubles the payment. There's no way your credit score is that low. Stop wasting your money on things you don't use.

Cancel your own one of subscriptions by going to rocketm money.com slash the yard That's rocket money.com slash the yard to lower your bills and grow your say money. Oh if that was confusing It's rocket money Raw money rocket rocket money rocket money.com slash the R to lower your bills and grow your savings. Now something interesting from a guy named Braden. It's Grayden. Grayden.

How are you working on being white? So yeah, part of that. We're not being white. White, but we're working on it. We're going like an Ian route. Like we're trying to make him just like the biggest culture vulture. Okay. Imaginable.

Which is like, we'd like lean into it. Yes. You know, you guys like Jack Harlow. You guys got like Machine Gun Kelly. You know, all these, all these like white icons, right? Right, totally. We want to like merge it all into like this fucking

scoop of like ice cream. Into one. Extremely marketable. Unmarketable and we and we steal steal everything from young black culture You know the way we have been doing it for the way you guys have taught many to do Yeah, absolutely. Thank you. Yeah, thank you And so we got singles we got him we already half recorded we got singles I got it on my balls

We got Singles, I got it on my balls. We got Lee Me. Talking about his foreskin probably. We got I'ma tell you one time. One emoji, or finger point emoji. I like both, yeah. And then I got it on my balls remix featuring NetSpend. NetSpend. Is NetSpend down? We have a hookup with Net.

Net's a gamer, Net's a gamer. Yeah, I saw Net perform at the FaZe party and shit. And so... You see Banks there? I saw Banks in the background. Yeah, dollar sign slut truck. Banks being Banks, honestly. Yeah, that's just so Banksy. Scandal free!

So Young Bitch, the machine behind Young Bitch, Scandal Free. There was a thing back in the Mario Kart online days. Aiden used to play Mario Kart. Not a big deal. Not a big deal. Not a big deal. We covered that up. It was recordings. It was like a OK.

Basically don't look at my YouTube channel. Easy. You don't look at it. Then we'll all be fine. Got it. He basically he was in a Mario Kart online Clan and then there was a guy who turned out years later What you said Mario Kart clan yes like that. Was this the wizard that got caught? We also put a different name, but that's what they call it. You're in MKK. MKK Ultra.

And he got later on this person that you raced with a couple times. Maybe he would even say you were friends with. He would pretend to be Harry Styles on Skype and get underage women to undress for him And he went to prison in jail now, and then he was in jail got out and reoffended within six months Get a really good funky call you gotta keep it in there well as funky Kong was insane, and he also used the wee wheel Yeah, which is hard to be a must yeah I don't know we're just trying to say that there's no scandal there's no scandal it's better to be more clear than this

can I ask one question please? did he look like Harry Styles like no no he would he would keep the apparently he would keep the webcam off and tell them that the webcam just wasn't working oh that's the way Harry would do it yeah I get that it's just leading to the character no that's fucked up yeah no scandals if you guys are lost so will they be you know I mean it's like they're not gonna understand the controversy audience avatar yeah he was just simply playing Mario Kart as a young kid back

in the day he just you know happened to me I don't even feel like young Jit play Funky Kong Can he get on the flame runner? He's Canadian Now that's something we can either lean into or we can take out now see your look on your face I have something

I want to lean into it With that former association I say Canadian rap Canadian rap. Young Bitch. Been on the high note? Nope. Bebe No Money. Your name is Young Bitch.

And you're going to be a rapper from Canada? Yeah. Did you not hear Not Like Us? It's a bad year for it. It's a bad year for it. What do you want to beef? Yeah, famously he won. Famously Drake won that beef.

Yeah, he swept. I don't think Drake's going gonna collab with someone named Young Bitch. Why? Currently. But he did walk Wanda Lila. We think he won the beef, and why tell your opinion on migrant crime in a moment, but let's move on for a moment. Also, another thing, he can effortlessly pivot to contrary music, much like Post Malone's doing right now. Once this whole thing gets stale.

We checked, he can get cornrows. We've tried. Yeah. They do hold once we've sort of like, you know, like this ringed the rag of all this, you know culture ringing on utter here a rag a Milk in it. It's got culture milk Fuck you bring that out. Yeah, and the whole thing and we can pivot, you know, this is like a this like a 20-year type thing Oh, yeah, I, that was a given. You said white.

And so I knew eventually country music. There's a lot of money there. Yeah. Yeah. Young gravy train. Whoa. I didn't say that. I didn't say that.

Normal age gravy train. Thank you so much. Okay. Contact us. You can go to example.com. One, two, three, your street. Yeah. That's the, I forgot to fill that part in. That's all right. Hello at example.com. 123 your street. Yeah. Your city. I forgot to fill that part in.

That's all right. Hello at example.com. Anything you need. But we would love to hear your thoughts on it. I'm out. I'm out. I'm out. I'm out.

I'm out. I'm out. Not a short take. I think part of it is that we don't have a record label. Well. What? We do, but it's a 360 deal. It's a 360 deal, and it's everybody who watches us.

Yeah. Everybody who watches our channel. Is signed. We signed. We signed all of our fans's a 360 deal. It's a 360 deal, and it's everybody who watches us. Everybody who watches our channel. Is signed. We signed every, all of our fans do a 360 deal. I'm just asking, I'm just asking you two. Archibald? You've been to one of their shows. Yeah.

You're a fan. Oh yeah, I guess you already signed us. This one's efficient. We don't have resources though, we're out of money. I just need you to give a young Canadian stallion a shot. Okay. It would mean a lot. If it helps, it'd mean a lot to us.

And this is like, What's a shot? Previously I did not know that. Hey, YB. Let me into, YB look over there for just a moment. Quadega's home at night. Oh, Quadega's home at night? He lives in an apartment.

Yeah, I don't think that, yeah. I don't think he'd like that. Are you guys touring right now? Are you guys having any tours coming up? Nah. We could open. We don't have openers. I have my young bitch featuring young bitch. Young bitch on the microphone. Come men and women young bitch will be there. Yeah I don't know. I don't know if we're doing another tour. He does like a reggae thing too.

Ross bitch. Ross bitch. We're doing another tour. He does like a reggae thing too Show them how it's all gonna be irie most of my percussion is downstairs So I do do you want to do the voice for them that we do? Oh Reggae voice you do reggae voice Say beer can in an English accent. Because that's offensive to me now. Isn't it? Because my grandparents are Jamaican. Really?

Yeah. Incom. Yeah. Why are you, wait pause. No, why are you making that face? Like I'm lying. Your grandparents were Jamaican? My grandparents are Jamaican.

They're still alive and with us. Well, good for you. Some of our grandparents are all dead. OK, sorry to hear. Can you tell the truth? Can you tell our friend the fucking truth? You fuck her fucking fucker? You fuck her? My step-grandparent.

Haha, liar ass! Why? Why? She's not the grandparent who was there, but the grandparent that stepped up? Is that it? Have you met her? Yes of course, we're gonna spend Christmas together. You've met Peter's mom. Yeah, Althea. You eat some jerk chicken.

God bless her heart, She doesn't make jerk chicken She actually pretty much doesn't like her Jamaican past as much. Do you ever do the voice? Do I do the voice? When you're with them. When I'm around them I code switch, yeah. He can do fluent French for you believe it or not. And he can do Shethanks. Can you do fluent French in a Jamaican accent? Uhhh That's brilliant. Wow. We've done this before. No, we did French Peter Griffin. Yeah, French Peter Griffin. That's awesome.

J'mon j'lepens. That's about it. I like where we're going. I like it. Man, this show sucks. So, I mean, like, final answer, guys. Let me deal you- No, dad, no.

Will you pass it to like- Will you pass it to like, Fantano? I wish, I wish. Can you pass it up the chain? Is Fantano gonna get it in front of him? Fantano. I think we have his email. I got his email. I got his email.

I sent it to him. I said memes. I say if you don't forward this to ten more people, you're not. I like those ones. I think that gets us there. Okay, you know what? That's fine. Zipper, please, you can take the, you know.

Oh, dude, I didn't mean to make you feel bad about that. The presentation was great. Yeah. It was amazing. Yeah, we'll clap. I mean, yeah. It was the product that sucked. Give it to him. I think the product doesn't suck. I will. You know, we'll see.

I just hope that when young bitch flies across your desk in the future and you're looking at some bars on Genius and you're like, let's look at these bars, let's rate these. And I hope that you give him the same amount of grace that he deserved today. That was all I'm going to say. That was well said. Yeah, that was well taken. Is all I'm going to say. That was well said. Yeah, that was well taken.

Well, I'm furious, so. I will hold this against you. Who here has made you one of you guys had to have made a rap song at some point, right? Oh, yeah, I bet. Yes. You had to. Yeah, that's part of it. Zip your own pole. You got a box of me here. Oh, you've been on the Internet too long.

I have been on the Internet way too long. You would need a rap song. Well, I actually have a I don haven't. You need a rap song. No, well, I actually have a... I don't even think it's a rap song. I made a somewhat of a rap song. It's on SoundCloud. It was for college. It's Lord of the Rings.

You ever read that book? Love it. Or excuse me, The Hobbit. You ever read or watch a movie? Yes. I have not. It's the part where they fight the trolls. It was a rap from the perspective of the trolls.

Oh, okay. Well, that's still pretty neat. Oh, troll rap. Yeah, it's a troll rap. It's a real thing that is out there that exists so you can look up. I did the whole production for it too. It's bad. That's right. I got May.

In 2011, there was an app on the iPhone app store called IMTPayne by Smule. I had that one. That's what I had. That's my best friends made hundreds of songs Hundreds of songs so one little be mixed tape. Yeah one one viper tape. Have you well we were just talking about him on the way here crazy story with him Soundcloud cover that has like 60,000 listens on it. It's a Wagon Wheel cover.

Dan, I played the trumpet on it. I used to play the trumpet. I sang on it too. You said that in a second. Well the trumpet's the coolest one. And it was Pre-Darius Rucker I will say that Yeah, it was a cover of the old Crowe Medicine show

Yeah, I'm a big fan Oh shit, you've- okay You guys like Crowe Medicine, that's cool Catch C-Core, a guy who's addicted to cocaine and plays the fiddle, what's not to love? Yeah, yeah, yeah I found out this week that I have horrible music taste I could have told you that We just met

Have you listened to exclusively marching band music in the car it's not true like a lot of college football 25 you guys ever will ever do me a favor really quick do your fun take out my phone I don't have it on me you have your phone it'll work maybe I love that that's a millennial sensibility because it's not about the phone yeah I got it I want you to go to your on-repeat on Spotify, I want you to say number one. Oh, fuck. Oh, I would have loved to have done this. What does that mean, on-repeat?

It'll tell you your most played song is the last 30 days. My number one- That's not what I wanted. Okay. I'm sorry, I'm about to play mine for you guys. My number one is In Grey by James Blake and Lil Yachty. Okay. Off that project.

Okay. I like that song. Is that cool? Does that make them cool? Mine is White Owls by Smoke Dope 2016. Oh, shit. Hell yeah. I love a white owl. Mine's the Gus Dapperton cover of What You Won't Do For Love. Oh!

Bobby Caldwell! Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's go. It's the cover. It's a great cover. Shout out to Gus. We interviewed Bobby Caldwell. No shit.

Before he passed away, yeah. Dude, holy shit. In 2017? Really? Yeah, it was like right when we started Hivemind, we had like 100 subscribers. And you got Bobby Caldwell? Yeah, I found his manager on LinkedIn. No way.

I emailed him and was like, hey, can we interview Bobby Caldwell when he comes to Cincinnati? I came back to let you know. That's go-getter shit. Yes, sir. Where's your on repeat? Gus is great, too. You just search it. Just search on repeat. Cincinnati Search on repeat. Oh, that's crazy. I clicked on bed rotting mix That's a mix on here bed rotting mix repeat rewind Oh No on repeat mine is little things

ex-gypsy women Woman by a George Smith. That's good song Ex gypsy women a woman by a george smith. That's good song Stop playing I've never heard it. We're gonna get demonetized. I got crocodile by goth, babe. Oh hell. Yeah Yeah, I like goth, babe. I've been listening to a lot of goth, babe I got a can't buy me love a cover by Hiroshi Sato. Okay, Japanese men you it Japanese myth. You it. Arigato. I'm sorry, my type shit. The second one's the best one.

Underneath the Moon by Maggie and Terry Roche. I had a dream about that song last night. It's like a folk harmony female song and I was at a party at like a pavilion in my dream and the DJ dropped that track amongst like a bunch of like rap songs and it came on and I was like, oh I love this song. In your dream. In your dream. In my dream and she played and everybody was like, why is he playing this? And I was like, this is a deep cut. I was like, he knows Maggie and Terry.

My fourth is Apple by Blade, but it's because I, uh, I want, it was a new song, so I wanted to hear it. I was in the shower and my wet hands got all over the phone and it, it wouldn't let me touch the screen anymore So it just looped it on Spotify for like 25 minutes Before that I can't do and you're listening the same Sitting down on the fucking ground like like post soccer game I'm like arms on knees you still play soccer no no, but I kept some of it. What position were you? I was a left wing. Nice. I never played.

Let me guess your vibe you give me a Baseball Too scared of the ball. Okay. No you're lying. He was not a baseball player. Did you just go to the games and just chewed dip just to be around him? Didn't go to the games. I just dip just to be around him like didn't go to the game Guy I kill you do you say afraid of the ball change my guess I want to say you have a lacrosse vibe but This year nice yeah, you good? Tell him. Sorry, this is my guy. He tells people.

You should send him up the chain. Send him up the chain. He's good. Oh baby, can I hoop? Oh, that's cool. He can dribble. Lots of buckets. You just picked it up this year and you're good at it. Well, I'm not good at the technical aspects, but I'm just a bigger man than everybody there. So I just literally am trudging through humans. You gotta quit playing at middle school then.

Go to the Y. Equinox. I just trudge through and put up a layup and it works. Dude, equinox hooping has to suck. Oh god. It's sick. I had a great run last time I was out here there. And then you gotta do this towel from a fridge after. There's fire. I had a really good run.

Did you slaughter all the 50 year old dudes trying to stay fit? You got latte in there. These dudes were really good. Couple of them were like players, like D2 guys. Okay. It was a real run. I was like six games in, I was like, all right, I drink too much for this.

Mm, I'm out of shape. But look, Equinox is like a gym chain that's super expensive. Let's clarify, he's not. Fuck off. I got bloodsport. I mean, we could play. We could play. We can go right after this. I played in the Creator off, I got range. We could play. We can go right after this.

I brought my 13's with me. He's better than me, like overall player, but I can shoot. You're good too? How long you guys here? We're here another week. I mean we play this weekend if you guys want to play. The court is three points lighter when I don't show up. You know that? The court is three points lighter when I don't show up. You know that? The court is three points lighter.

They're gonna walk through it. They're gonna let them in. When you show up. When I don't show up. Because you're usually knocking them all down. Yeah. When you're there. It's gonna get three points heavier.

You're good for three points. I feel like it wasn't confusing. My real game's golf. That's my real game. That's cool. No shit. Is that a new thing? Oh, hell no.

Since the second I could think. Isn't golfing like a rich sport? No, not necessarily. Not necessarily, but yeah, traditionally it is. You can go to a community course. How do you get clubs? I grew up with a bunch of people who golf. I played with ladies clubs until I was like 15.

Clubs for women? Yeah, like hand me down I don't know if it's a brand. I'm an asshole for asking questions I have a question for you guys. I I have a friend that's coming down I think next month and I met him with what? It's the first time ever meeting a person I've played dota with him ten years ago, and he's been my online friend He's like what that is. I what is that? It's a computer game. It's like league Do you have any gaming background? I love the game, but like not like y'all do sure guy

What's the last game before you finish? Sorry? Oh last video game? I played serious. I played starfield pretty So why when I came out like a normie norm? Yeah? And then I played college football when it came up I came out like a normie norm. Yeah. And then I played college football when it came out. Oh, I love it. I've never played a game from start to finish in my entire life. You like Nintendo stuff? I played like I would like fuck around and play

Smash with my friends growing up or like Mario card or Mario Party or something. But like Tony Hawk, pro skater, like growing up like little kid. And then that's pretty much I'm at his house. I'll play Madden. I guess they were game ever's Tropico six. Do you feel like you missed out

on a cultural like thing? I know. No, I mean, I don't know. That's the that's the answer. It's not really like like I also grew up like I know I said I lived in the suburbs, but like my backyard was the woods. I was just like in the woods as a kid.

Like I didn't I was never like inside. You're getting vitamin D. Yeah, I grew up was the woods. So I was just like in the woods as a kid. Like I didn't I was never like inside. You're getting vitamin D. Yeah, I grew up in the woods, but I was an indoor kid. Oh, yeah. I didn't like the woods because it was scary to me. Dodo friend coming down. You're golfing with he's coming down. We're not golfing. He's like, I'm he's shit.

He's going to turn 30. He's like, I'm going to a blade concert. Oh, and he's like, and, you know, he's nose plugs. I he's like, I'm just going to be around. He's like, do you to a blade concert. Oh, and he's like and you know those plugs I He's like I'm just gonna be around. Do you want to go with me? I'm like sure I've never listened to blade I don't know what the concerts like he's like. I'm just gonna be around a bunch of fucking 20 year old drainers I'm like yeah, I'll go with you. That sounds it'll be fun. Do you have a drainer fan base? like do you guys have a drainer fan base? Kind of. What is a drainer?

One time we said, one time we mentioned that I was... This is actually, people will love you figuring out what a Drainer is. This kind of happened when we said that I, because I went to a Young Lean concert and then we talked about that briefly and then a bunch of people said Aiden Drainer Gang and I'm like, I don't think I'm in that. Yeah, I knew what Young Lean is and I like Lean, but there's like this second era that exists. Swedish. Yeah.

Can I get three guesses for what Drain Gang is, or Drainers are? Yeah, sure. Guess one, someone who just sucks it to the bone, dry. Boom, it's gone. OK. All right, moving on. Drainer, someone who's drained of life, zombie-like,

because they did a lot of drugs, Benzos perhaps. OK. OK. That's a decent guess. Guess number three, fans of Drain. D drain drain I don't know who drain is drain DRA why are the guys is drained drain is a punk band drain gang is a rap collective from Sweden and it's blade echo 2k tieboy digital and then some producers and they're associated with Young Lean so their fans are called

Drain Gang or Drainers rather. Yeah. Yeah. They've been making music since they were like fucking 14 or some shit right? Yeah they've been around forever and they put out a lot of tapes. Very unique aesthetic. This shit's too rich for me. Give me Motorola and let me just be myself. Yeah. I'm 34. That's all I need. Yeah. Yeah but D and let me just be myself. I'm thirty four. That's all I need. Yeah. But Drain Gang shows are very fun. I've been to a few of them and they are like people say they smell bad, though.

OK. Their fans kind of like. I'm a great fan. I want to get Blade on the pod and I want to get the Hawk To A Girl. OK. Together or? You want the Hawk To A Girl on? I want I want both of them at the same damn episode. Are you pulling Hawk To a Girl's number? No.

Pause. That's not gay to call Hawk to a Girl on. I have a question for you guys. Because you guys, we have, normally when we have guests, there are most people in our space, like at his event this weekend, most people are gaming adjacent or stream adjacent, and they all come from this crowd. But you come from a very different section of YouTube. Like I've seen you on other videos

where you're just talking about music or participating in some sort of music related competition. Are you a part of some mega world of YouTube where you're friends and participating and crossing over with a bunch of music YouTubers all the time? where like you're friends and participating and crossing over with a bunch of music youtubers all the time? Like is there- because in this world like all the gamers and the streamers are constantly doing events and streams and videos together. Sucking, fucking. I- I feel like- We need a fist bump counter for Grahame, by the way. Like, partially, yes.

I've become friends with like Quadeca and Dev Lemons and all those people, but we live in Detroit. So like either people are coming to visit us or when we come out here, we'll hang out with those people Yeah, I was literally gonna say earlier. I'm glad that like We're not big enough on YouTube or on that side of YouTube where I have to do like obstacle courses and shit It feels like eventually you get big enough on YouTube that that's just like required Eventually you have to show up to throw Ludwig's tungsten cube at the city. Eventually I'm gonna have to kiss him. It's a humiliation ritual. It's part of YouTube.

Everybody has to do it when they sign on. Yeah, I don't know. You don't get to 10 mil without it. You make a choice. I don't know, in real life in Detroit, we're just like hanging out with our friends. We don't know any real life in Detroit. We're just like hanging out with our friends. It's like we don't know any other youtubers in Detroit Really what's that? What's the sorry go ahead? Go ahead? No, I just I'm just being stupid. I'm sorry. Yeah, you're not stupid, dude

Can I ask you guys now to turn but Can I ask you what your question was? I love that. I was going to say, what's like, if you guys could just pick, what's the goal? What would you want to be doing? If it was just wildly successful, and you could do whatever you wanted to. Own a Bojangles or several.

Yeah, Bojays. Bojays. That's a good-ass answer. Buy a couple Bojays. I can set my friends up with them. And then maybe a vintage Jaguar or something. And a gun. So you're the finer things.

Yeah, I feel like all of those. I have one, I need another. If we can do some sort of franchising of a restaurant where each of our best friends run the individual locations. My friends that are felons. They don't have other options. Of course. BoJ's owner. They can vote, but they can damn they can run the fucking back of the house. Individual locations are felons But they can damn they can run a fucking back of the house Yeah, Bojangles in the north in Midwest Midwest Great Lakes area burst the Bojays into the north. That's a dream He's trying to sell his friend who does he does like a good Harry Styles impersonation

We're trying to get him back on his feet. Once he's rehabilitated. Once he's rehabilitated. I believe in third chances. A subway is probably better for him anyway. Oh yeah. With where you guys are at right now, is this kind of, from the content and the YouTube perspective, is this kind of

already end game? Is this what you guys would want to keep doing forever? No, no. We have a lot of stuff that we want to do. Like genuinely. We're doing a football channel for like we're starting it for this fall for the NFL. Huge sports guys. That surprises a lot of people. Browns fans. Oh, don't miss speaking. That's lucky. The Lions are our NFC team. Yeah, the Dream Super Bowl, Cleveland, Detroit, and then we go down to Toledo and we flip cards. So I love that.

You get drunk for five days straight. Yeah, but I mean, I don't know, we've always like, we love sketch stuff, like comedy, and then we love like movies. Dude, movies. My brain's corrupt. I thought they were talking about the What's Up Brother. I did see him the other night. Really? Yeah, I was out at like a party and he was just walking down the street. With a baddie.

I don't know if we should say that. It's what someone else says. It's okay to walk down the street with a baddie. What is this? You can call me this China? I can't talk about it. I'm not afraid of that guy. He can't see me.

I feel like if we talk about him for any longer, Slime's gonna threaten his life. Yeah, it's possible. So we should probably get out of here so Slime doesn't do that to Sketch. But before we go, because we're at our time, is there anything you would like to say that you haven't had the chance to say cuz you've been interrupted with interview questions or? slide shows the curse The curse is on the curse is on the curse is on we brought it to LA Bats and crab s's are part of it

I hit a crab in this office somewhere, and if you guys don't find it in seven days, you're fucked. There's gonna be a blood bucket. It's a whole thing. Other than that, I would like to thank all of you for having us, and this is very fun, and we have a channel called Hivemind you can subscribe to. And lastly, for the viewer at home, this is not an actual yard. Dude! Okay, yeah. What the fuck? You can't. Cut that! Cut grass. Cut that. Cut that.

Cut that ass. Archie, I like that bleeped and I like that. That's real. Oh my god, it's not so good. It's like after the candle will set better than the biop. Archie bleeped all of you and threw like a grenade on him that explodes viscerally. Oh, a grenade. I'm allergic to grass.

There's no way it's real. He's been sneezing a lot. Zipper will have you killed. Oh, okay. Get us out of here, Archie. It's not the first time I got zipped around to kill you. Thank you, Hivemind, but actually don't thank you because you lie. You lie to people and that's what you do. Thanks for having us, guys.

Goodbye forever. Episode 100 is out.