The Yard - Ep. 174 - We're Addicted To League

Episode Date: November 13, 2024

This week, the boys talk about the future of PSL, Aidens hatred of dogs, and how the League of Legends addiction has infected everyone... Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Y'all are mad because I got a swag ass fit on. Swag ass. Can you show the class what it says on the back? Can we get a 360? So we got Dodger, probably a show how he does it. Oh no, it's a Pussy Slayer 69 jersey. Y'all thought. I thought he was benched this year.

Y'all thought, nah. He's warm, he's third string, but he keeps that arm hot. When he comes back from injury, phew. I know this is like a played out type of joke, but I actually mean it. You dress like an avatar in a game, or like an Xbox Live avatar. This is a normal ass fit. It looks like an expensive array of items. I toggled a lot to get here.

I look the best with the exception of you three. Really? Well, no. The zip up looks like bad. This is a rough look. What the fuck do you want from me? I didn't try to be impressive. Can I ever zip up? The be, I didn't try to be impressive. Never zippered. The kind of funny I learned the other day, I was,

we were taking photos for yard merch and we were with our friend Delaney and she used to live with Anthony and she was telling me one time you were leaving the house for a date and you were wearing, she always talks about it. You were wearing all green, including your pants. No, this is a lie. Oh, I get through it. And then she was like, you're leaving in that?

And you're like, what? I'm Groot. And then she said later when she brings this up, he goes, that never happened. Dude, this is fucked up. This is fucked up. This is fucked up. Because I remember the exact shirt. It's the one, you guys have seen it on this podcast.

It is purple. It is the purple bear shirt have seen it on this podcast. It is purple It is the purple bear shirt, right? Wait, so you're wearing purple and green I wore all the fun mustard colors Purple shorts and blackie the yard fishing shorts and purple shirt. It's crazy for her to think you're wearing all green I know that's what I'm saying. I'm beside myself right now. She said you were wearing I know that's what I'm beside myself right now. She said you were wearing green like Lulu type pants. No. And a green shirt.

No, this is just as I would argue. He's he's revised this story to a worse out. I was imagining the outfit. You know what? I just saw people lying on my name. You never wear shorts to a date. It was really hot, and I wanted to walk. What if it's hot out?

Yeah, and then she's like, and then he wanted to walk on a hot day, so he's gonna show up sweaty. It's fine. Oh, you wanted to walk to the date. Yeah, it was like coffee in the paper. Bad bitch gets his steps in. Bad bitch gets his steps in. Thank you very much.

So I walked here, can you pay? I don't have my wallet. My phone's down. My phone's down. I don't actually even have a sim card. I use it for games. I just, look, you can roast me all you want, but roast me for what I've actually done on this planet. That's all I'm gonna fucking say. I'll have a talk with her. Yeah. Talk with you? What is...

What? I'll have a talk with her. I'll have a talk with her. Who's gonna have a. What is what? I'll have a talk with her. I'll have a talk with her. It doesn't sound like a friendly conversation. I feel like it won't be friendly. Yes. To establish why he's upset. What's friendly about being lied about? Well, that's what I'm saying.

Yeah. So you have a taller. Okay. So that's a Kamala. What? Mm hmm. What's that? It's friendly about being lied about.

What? What misinformation type joke? I friendly about being lied about. What? What? Misinformation type joke. I don't know. You really got there. Why don't you guys roll with things? I'm listening to the advice show that you guys just put out and it's less than a minute in. You're like, dude, it's because it's filmed before the election happened. It's like it's like on Halloween. Kamala Woods.

They're taking all the boys away and they're and they're going to milk them. We said they're going to make a big cock milking factory. All the men are gonna get taken away to the cock milking factory. Yeah. And I mean, well, you know, she didn't. So our cocks remain un-milked and the country withers and dies. The kiss up at the cock milking factory. Hey boss, putting in a lot of work today. Dude, I would overtime there.

I would drink so much water. You drink what? You're just saying you'd get milk the best. Does water make you cum more? Yeah, 100%. If you're hydrated. Where do you think the fluid comes from? Fluid.

I thought it was some other shit. Fluid comes from fluid, Nick. I thought it was some other shit. It's entropy. It's entropy. Do I have more blood if I drink more water? That's right. Somewhat more blood. I learned this from? That's right. Somewhat more blood.

I learned this from a TikToker. He used to talk about getting warm loads. In what context? What was the context for the getting warm loads? My ex-girlfriend sent this to me. She's like, I think you'd think this was funny. And it was this guy talking about how he loves busting big, warm loads. And she had to screen record it.

Is it Dan Benson's sick talk? No, it wasn't Dan Benson's sick talk. It's famously cold loads. Yeah. Like cold rolled steel. Frigid loads. Yeah. And that way really plays a his.

And she had to screen record it because he turned off downloads. But people just kept talking about, OK, how do I get big, warm loads like you? And he kind of looked like Rain like he did it wasn't rainbow Yeah, I'm trying to get for the mental picture and he's talking to his camera. He's like, oh definitely you want big warm loads Yeah, water is great for those big warm loads. I'm in the warm I'm having a hard time imagining how that affects the temperature Yeah, you want to just be your body temperature. Right. It's all diet, man. Yeah, it's your gut biome.

Oh, you kombucha or you know kombucha? No, no, kombucha. You want too much kombucha? Your your cum like fizzles like acid. Yeah. Amaranth beer. Oh, yes, sir. You don't want that. I'm going to go. Oh, God.

And the juvie and then it's just a flash. It don't want that. That and a juvie. Oh, God. That and a juvie and then it just flashes to a nuclear explosion. She needs a hangover four. She needs an alcohol free beer. I just want the day. Oh, an Emirates Zero? You sacrifice nothing. My TikTok assistant, Zipper3, delivered me one this week. It's maybe my favorite she's ever shown me. And it's this guy, he's with his boyfriend at the grocery store.

And he's like, I need you to say, I need you to say hi to my mom. Like, make a nice video for my mom. And then his boyfriend is like, hey, Miss Sanders, we're just out. We're buying milk at the grocery store, just like I'm going to milk your son's thick cock tonight in my mouth. Jesus. And then he's like, what the fuck, man? Stop fucking, stop telling my mom this. And they do like six takes of him doing like different grocery related bits to his mom about how he's going to come on him.

Right. And it keeps going and everyone hits. So that's the beauty about, you know, even though we're in Trump's America, which I would say is an outcome we didn't we didn't want here on the show. I'll speak for yourself. My daily prayer sessions at school are going to be fire. I think it'll be cool. I'm going to lead prayer. You don't care to talk about Abel.

At the school you go to? Well, I'm going to go to the school to teach about Cain, but also Abel. And what I was going to say, at least in our America, because we still live in a goddamn free country, we can cock milk as much as we goddamn want to. After prayer. What about during? That would be fine.

Couldn't be welcomed. So some fucking Oklahoma Republican guy like, no, we can milk in the school. It's fine. Just during prayer. Oklahoma caught so many strays this week. Yeah, I'd like the screenshot because it voted all red blood red. And then everybody went through just its ranking in our union of every stat and it's low.

It's pretty low. And the Oklahomans are just they're just catching straight. It's like Education 49th, health care 50th. Yeah, it's pretty bad. You ever hear about this is real. You ever hear about how Brett Favre stole a bunch of government money? I did hear about this.

Can you look it up, Zipper? It's just it's really interesting. He was the quarterback for the Green Bay Packers. He was also in. There's something about Mary with Ben Stiller and Cameron Diaz. Important to know as well, because he's a football player and he was just in the movie. What's he doing there? Yeah.

That's like that's actually like when Marshawn Lynch just shows up in movies now. That's kind of his thing now. He just shows up. He shows up. Yeah, he's kind of like celebrity guy that people like. He's in that Ian song too. You know that song? He is.

Ian? Yeah. He's in an Ian music video. He's the white kid who like copies like every other Marshall Lynch. Oh, yeah, Marshall on Leon Ian don't say eon like that that's different or part of this races Ian is a white kid. Is it spelled eo and no it's spelled like Ian It could be E.ON! Yeah, you were saying he's I.R.E.

Ross Ian He's like the 24 year old net spend for you, I guess He's not even...dude, he's like 19 He helps you understand what's going on a little bit I'm saying...bzzzzzzzzzzzz song. You know what? Let's talk about it. A small hash out or crash out. Oh. You've been miserable at responding.

And I know why. You've been... Look. We went through this whole thing. Don't make that face. Can you go further back? Please don't do that face. Don't make that face. Please don't do that face.

Don't do that face. Please don't do that face. Stop doing the do that face. Don't do that face. You're doing it so far back that it's making me think you might actually not realize. You look like a rage comic. This is an, you know. I'll be the leftist Joe Rogan. That's how I read it. I messaged Ludwig, I was like, hey, thinking about Dubbin.

I'll send this every week if I don't talk to him just to be like, hey, I love you. I'm thinking about you. The only thing he sent me back was that Wojak of you is so funny. I've been, I saved the Wojak. I used the Wojak. You used it?

All right, fine. I don't respond. What's the issue, man? I think it's because of one singular thing going on in your life. Wow. It has to do with a small mummy who is very sad a lot. It's League of Legends.

It's League of Legends. No, I was sick. Were you really? Dude, did you fake being sick? You know, fucking annoying. You do not literally hear it. No, I don't. Blood. Do you not hear it?

You're playing off stream. Do you hear the patina on my voice? You don't sound great. I got some patina. Dude, what is going on on your fucking stream? Dude, it's like it's this layered like hellscape. It's normal Ludwig stream playing League seven games. Then he'll switch to members only.

Fine. But which is also kind of interesting. You have a reason, I'm sure. And then he'll get mad. You lost the game. I think it was your sixth game. And it's stream immediately. I'm on the league client because I've been playing. He's in another game off stream Yeah, what is the what why cascade? Wait this happened with Valorant didn't it charmander?

Maybe skip the member streams, but I feel like like the off stream games with Valorant He was like Papa gets one or two and I'm off. No, he's been leaving. He's Binging he's playing into the night and you lost six in a row I did not lose six in a row you were on fire you just lost the six again okay there's an epidemic and I think I am a super spreader okay call me a damn bat cuz I've spread a disease yeah call you a damn bat in Wuhan cuz you bit a man I wasn't gonna go to Wuhan but yeah okay yeah bat out of Wuhan bat out of Wuhan bat out of Wuhan Yeah, okay. Yeah This is a dying sick Guy, I've I've made a lot of people started to play League of Legends

I actually people were talking about how League is back and I was thinking back as far as I can remember I'm like, I think Ludwig created the boom. I created the boom for our circle. I want to give some credit Just a little bit to faker Just a little bit. No, give credit to the real guy. Wait, are you talking about because of worlds? Yeah. And I'll go before that. I'll give a little bit of credit to Arcane.

Like it's probably part of it. Yeah, go back farther. It was me. No, go back. No, it's Jesus Christ. There is a reason that you are obsessed with hitting plat in League. Tyler one. Tyler one.

No, no, no, no, no, no Tyler Cuz I was playing league before I saw him I Saw that clip of him crashing out on you dude. He is unreasonably mean to you. It is so fun Thank you. He is so unreasonable. What was it? What do you say? Let's see a picture is funny Let's see a picture. Oh, no, I said maybe money or something I look at picture you and he was just like look at this piece of disgusting fucking shit But there's nothing about league dude. It's not nothing. It's like I hate this guy It's chat eggs him on too cuz he plays a champion called a laoi and then she got nerfed in the most recent patch Yeah, someone sends a clip of me losing to this champion

I saw this and then he goes and he goes these idiots idiots in Ludlow! You're like trying to say like an elo that's so low. Because he fucking goes, and he fucking goes and tries to retire, and he's standing still! And then she gets healed, and he fucking freaks out, and she's getting nerfed because of that. Zipper, go on, go on YouTube and type in Ludwiglo. Why is this? That shouldn't come up. I want to see, we're going to talk about it, they should see it. It shouldn't come up though. Dude, it's, it's pretty, it's pretty funny. So, so I started playing. playing it's funny cuz I got place I place your peak

Yeah, he placed your peak. I saw that clip Hey, but I'm on a lot. I'll be on your side real quick Purchased ass account. Let's not just ask the count. I did not purchase Mike You got a purchase ass account. I don't you. You literally do and you talked about it on this podcast I actually just made this up. I don't even know if it's true. It is true. Not true. You talked about it. Wait don't, didn't you need to purchase an account to play ranked? No I played it from a long time ago. You talked about it. I played in 2011 with my friend Tucker in college. On this podcast you talked about. No I didn't. How you tried to buy an account that I also told you to buy on eBay and you got scammed. No I didn't.

And then you bought another one on one of those regular sites where you buy accounts and that's how you got it. You're making shit up again. Oh, I bet I was wearing all green too. See, now the thing is you're so good at being indignant about a lie. You can't even spell that. Don't try. And I could but I won't. But you're so indignant about the lie that now I'm starting to think you did wear all green. I'm believing that he bought the account.

He said it here. I'm a swing voter and I'm going to that side of the room. No! Prayer in schools. Good economy plan. No. Yeah, look, dude, here, I've been trying to tell you, because I begged you to play with me, I begged you, and then we played a game and we and we me and Ludwig try to go play against the tentacle monster

We go top. It's just like the clip. We both died of the tentacle You do he's like I can't fucking play with you I can't fucking play with you your opponent's too strong You're too you're too good. You're too good. You're putting too strong. I can't fucking hurt when he said that shit out loud I'm like, he's like I can't play at your level. I was like, dude, you don't have to say that. Don't you have to be honest? Here's the facts, okay? I can't play with slime. Slime needs to be carried to win a game.

And I can't do that. That's so cruel. That is just true! Oh my god. How old were you in 2006? I was like 11. You were 11? I was 16. You know what I was you in 2006? I was like 11. You were 11. I was 16. You know what I was doing in 2006? Dropping thick ropes on the table?

He's playing me. I know. He's my pants. Watching Nog-graphy. Watching Nog-graphy. I was watching... Dude, we came up with that in the court the other night. Nog for short. Yeah, I was watching Helen Nog.

And, you know, it slowed download rates, but you know what I was doing? I was playing Warcraft 3 Dota games, bro. Do you understand how long I've been playing MOBAs? He was making it the old-fashioned way. He was in the cut. He was telling me about how we walked to school both fucking ways. I'm not talking about that. He was playing MOBAs.

He was there when fucking Mark Merrill shot a man in the streets and made a new game Drow Ranger had a ultimate ability that just gave 15% chance to kill a minion instantly called creeps and Dota This is old shit. All right. All I'm saying is I have played these games for so long. I don't even get mad Yeah, I watch you play. It's like Valor you look at the chat. I don't even notice the chat. I'm looking at the map, bro. He's looking at the map. My teammates are communicating. I don't even notice that shit.

No, because they got pinks. Because they got pinks. I have done all the highs and lows of this shit that you are dealing with. And then so I'll load up the game, learn a champ, learn a matchup and do well. And you're mad at that. Okay. All right. And I just want you to know. I did not want to just let's just so you know, I did not want to do this today.

Oh, what is it? We're pulling up his Hopi. Wait, wait, wait, wait. How does Zipper do it? Why? Well, yeah, it's hard to find. That's the issue. No, no, it's really easy. He's the only person named Glenn Danzig on the whole entire website.

Glenn Danzig SMP. It's not Google blog. No, you can go to... This works. I promise. All right, Zippor, tell them how. Zippor, go to op.gg, go to search player for League. So, OK, here's what we're talking about. Let's get right into it. We all know about my journey.

Let me just get some context. You look to stats to be validated. I'm not looking at stats here. I'm just saying I'm trying to have a journey to Plat. And if we're going to bring up a stat, he's silver four, peaked silver three. Silver 470 LP. Yeah, he was silver three. He's been kind of swinging around.

Swinging around. It's calibrating. I am bronze two bronze one stuck there after about 12 hours of playing this. Well, are you bronze two or you bronze one? I'm bronze one right now. OK. And don't ever come at me like that again. It's just weird to say both. Well it's a good clarification for the fans. I was more so giving some charitability for people who might say I'm bad.

And slime, slime plays very high, okay? Because some people on the left want you to believe he bought his account. Now would this guy of good character buy an account? Wait, is the left doing the propaganda here? With taxpayer dollars, it seems unlikely. But if he were to, then he would have his hidden MMR in his normal games that would lead to higher opponents in his matchmaking games, which would make him play.

You're acting like this is an astronaut, like I'm getting diamonds. I place iron three. That's interesting to me That's what a real gamer places when he places all his I thought a real game It's what a bad gamer places guys, I got a confession. What's your confession? You have your friends, so we'll hear you out. You've dropped some pretty important ones lately. My sneaky link decided to stop seeing me. But you don't have a girl.

Why? How do you... Okay, well, sorry, that sounds sad. Yeah, it is sad. It is a bit of a bummer. So I'm kind of left to my own devices. Okay. And thinking of device, what's that in your hand?

Oh, I didn't realize I was holding this. Give me that. This is the new F1 SV3 male masturbator pleasure console. Pleasure console. That's exactly what I call Aiden. But this one's a device. That's right. It's a device. And because my sneaky link no longer wants to see me because he's busy in the North Pole or whatever you want to call it, I have this new F1 SV3 male masturbator.

It's at base control with new AI-driven sensations. My god! I think that's good for you. Solo pleasure is natural. It is natural and it's enjoyable. It's got smooth and flexible liquid silicone, two times more power than the last model, and a bigger XL size option, which I don't need.

That's not, I don't think that's the one that you have. Judging by that one, I don't think any of us really need it. It's a normal, seems one size fits all, honestly. Seems pretty good. But like, look, I just want to take the stigma of this away. As you, you know, some of you who listen to the bonus episode, I recently had an episode with my own prostate, and now this is for the front. Yes.

So honestly, just stick a little thingy in there. It feels pretty good. You're exploring yourself on two ends and I like that about you. Oh my God. There's like an end. There's like an ender on it. And the fun doesn't even stop there. Did you go deep?

Dude, this feels crazy. Is there like a hole in the... I gotta be honest, Lilo, Lilo might be... That thing probably feels dope. Lilo is the only product we've done an ad for, I think, where somebody made a whole write up on our subreddit about how good their products are after. Yeah, that's true.

Like someone literally made an in-depth after one ad. What is it? I want to learn. And you can use our code, the yardlilo50, for an additional 15% off your purchase if you go to the link below in the description And elevate your intimate moments like never before I'm gonna be honest if it's equivalent to slime situation the ethics of continuing to see your Your sneaky link are rocky at best and maybe you should just buy this Lilo product. The side is transparent It's like looking into a GameCube controller. That's transparent shell.

The yard Lilo 15 for an additional 15% off your purchase. Now we're going to pop this thing onto Ludwig's hog and see how crazy he goes on it. First off, I want to throw someone else in the mix. Hey, present. Nick, understanding. Before we take a look at this, you you guys are all on the freak juice I'm in my room Going to bed. I'm like laying in bed, and you know what I hear from fucking Nick's room I hear the set I hear click click click click click and I also

The high-pitched sounds of pings and I'm like this guy's been playing league for hours. Yes He wants to see everything What has happened to us? Look, we know why I'm doing it. I wanna see it all. We know why I'm doing it. I know what you're doing and you're not doing it very well. Shit.

I'm gonna leave the league alive. And then that's the only reason that he got pulled into it. And then God forbid, I never, I don't know what he's doing. I never thought this man across from me would get on the juice. Me neither. They're packing you and they shouldn't.

I thought you would get on the, I didn't think you would ever touch the juice. Nick grinding normals out and you know what, I had an evil thought yesterday. What? You want to hear my evil thought? I thought to myself, is Nick doing this so he can outrank me? No. No.

I don't even play ranked. I could go buy an account and play ranked. Not yet. I could buy an account and play ranked right now. No, I'm saying, but it wouldn't behoove you. What do you mean? Well, right now you're just honing your skills. You're trying to see the light.

Oh, I'm nice. Don't get me twisted. But, once enough time, maybe you hone your skills, you play ranked, all of a sudden, you rank higher. Lil bro, I'm not even thinking about you, I gotta be real. What? I'm not even thinking about you, bro. Is it solo queue? Yeah. I gotta be real. What? I'm not even thinking about you, bro. Is it solo queue? Yeah.

Normals for fun. Yeah. You're just trying for fun. There's no ulterior goal. He's trying to play the game of the challenge. It's also part of, yeah, partly I hate sucking at that game in the challenge. Yeah, that's like the actual reason. It's practicing for the game of the challenge? Yeah.

That would make sense. I also, I enjoy the game. You're so skeptical. It's a fun game. Well, cause Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick. Nick, Nick, Nick. Nickelodeon? Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick for dinner. Oh is that what you meant? I've been burned by him. That's you. What did I do? You fucking play silver. Bro I can't tell you. You show me a Dota screenshot I can tell you what everyone does. Oh my god who gives a fuck? You- I have experience! To defend him, to defend him,

it is in my experience people who were good at Dota get good at League very fast. Have you watched him? No. No, this is my decision. It looks like there's zero translation. That's not, that's you're being facetious. I'm being hurtful. That's not fair. I'm not wearing green. I didn't buy an account.

He was, I understand you're under a lot of scrutiny. He's live. He's wearing all green. Brother, when I tell you he's 0- 5 in lane, that is not an exaggeration. Oh, and five. I'm learning the matchups. Darius, I'm like, what does this guy do? Here's the thing.

That's how you get good by 30 CS by minute 10. You do have to learn. You have to play to learn. When you fucking dogshit like the mist two bandages and then all the shit. So now you're here. Now you're being fucking. Gay men. Now you have some good team fights.

When the game ends, what do you do? Do you instantly go Q again? Do you try to learn about the hero that you've never seen before? I Q right away. OK, so what I do is I go and I learn about at least one guy that I've never seen. I learned all their abilities and I see. Because I know that's what you need to do to get good faster. All you can do to get better is Q more.

I bro, I did this with VALORANT. I did this with TEKKEN. I have done this too long in MOBAs to go this route. Just queue again. It's, it's, I'm telling you. I think you're both wrong and both right. It's weird. I feel like the way you improve in the league is you just limit test like crazy, which would

just be cute. I do limit test too. Why would you know? Because I play. You're trying to get better, aren't you? He just plays video games. Of course I'm trying to get better. I like video games. Limit testing. What are you know? Because I play. We talk here. He just plays video games. Of course I'm trying to get better. I like video games.

Limit testing. What are you saying? If you play higher than me, I'll kill myself in real life with a gun. I'll never play ranked. I'll just never do it. I've been going on long walks. He doesn't want to hurt you. In front of everyone.

You know what intrigues me about League? You know part of why I like it is, okay, it sounds like a humble brag, but most games I play, I rank above the average when I play it. But in League, I'm looking around all my friends and it's like they're at some of the lower ranks the game has to offer. And I'm like, what makes this game so hard? Well, it's hard to think of like an example, but like, you know, you. It is crazy. I looked I'm in the top 67 percent.

That's good. That's bad I just want to understand what makes the league so hard for a new player What for even for like a seasoned player its layers of knowledge context mechanics macro micro like it's just a big game There's so much shit going on. It's a blurring that by playing Yeah, and also limit testing is important that you learn most do. You learn by attacking and seeing what you can do, feeling out. Feeling out your range, dying a lot. And so when I go 0-5 in lane, I'm not freaking out. I'm actually winning.

This game is fun. Well no, I'm losing, but like, I'm like, this game is fucking over. This game is fucking over. I'll yell at chat, but I will never yell at the game. Bro, you're mental. You're mental. Because I know the game is not the problem. My teammates are terrorists, not in my backyard.

You chat so much. It's crazy I went to high school Baron Asher. He got fucking fat Tom Petsch his mom died. Yeah, he got fucking fat Docs them I don't care Tom Kench Baron Asher Philip Hugh they were all there. I Well, I that's why I play offline I get more tilted online Why because you got back see I don I buy that it no it's a hunt Well, if I'm offline offline you get nothing from it. It's like a pure waste of time. What do you mean?

I get like on stream. It's like viewers and money, and I'm doing my job But off stream you lose and get you feed like it's nothing you know no value, but I don't feed off Oh, you know feel fine when I play off line zipper Please Your honor I would love to. You know, it's insane to say I feel like a difference. Then I mean, you have a hundred percent win rate. Actually, in Ludwig's defense, I have like an 85 offline big, a big defense of Ludwig coming in.

You ready for this? So if you're good, yeah. If you look at how each of you place compared to your teammates in your games on each of your OP.ggs. You're very low on your team and you're very high on your team. Yeah. I'm fucking, I'm a damn leader. You know what it says next to my name, Aiden?

Leader. I don't know what that means. What is, uh, you play jungle? Yeah. What is like a high CS per minute for jungle? Depends on the champ, but like for like a really good player, I think they're in the sevens touching eights. Okay.

But Broxah gets 10 plus. What would like mid be? Mid like like like mid like mid mid like five ish. No, sorry. I meant like mid lane. Well mid lane you can get like like eight to ten. Okay. Layners can get eight to ten.

Well some layers. Volibear top if he's against a ranged champ, it's gonna be a little tough. It's gonna get 8 to 10. Well, some layers. Jungle just gets less. Volibear top, if he's against a ranged champ, it's going to be a little tough. It's going to be a little tough. You know what? So I had a moment of vulnerability on the stream. And I was like, maybe I quit this challenge. No.

Who said? Why'd you think that? Because Plat's far. It is far. It is so far. What was the other challenge? Oh, it was the marathon one. You were like, maybe I quit. It is far. It is so far. What was the other challenge? Oh, was the marathon one? You were like, maybe I quit. This is the second version of this feeling.

Remember? The fuck was that about? Running a marathon. He's talking about other things. I think we've had this conversation before. I know how you're feeling. Bro's bringing up... Why don't... Oh, bro's bringing up your L's.

I've got a good strategy. I've got a good strategy. What if you played one more minute of League every day? That's fine Yeah, and your shins will heal. Yeah, and Shake Drizzle will do it too. And then Shake will do it. Can you go to YouTube zipper and go to the channel CabEx? C-A-B-E-X CabEx live. I have a hero. A hero? What's, is it the rags to riches? Well, every great...

What's that story where it's like the hero journey? The hero's journey? The story? What's that story? Go to community. The hero's journey needs a sensei, if you will. And if you zoom in and read this, it says, saw Ludwig sad and wanting to quit the challenge. So I'm going to go over his most recent recent fiddle jungle game to give him some tips

To climb overall with fiddle specifically and you don't play and then well, no, no, it's my this is my this is my two But he look at his jump, bro Yeah, oh my god. I know Wait, how is that even possible? I don't know bad bad bitch alert. He had a 90% win rate with Fiddle 6. 90! That's insane. That's one season apart? He jumped from Silver 1 to Master in a season?

He went crazy doing tricks on it. Now he's challenger with Fiddle Top. Well you could go nasty bananas like this guy. That's my plan. Alright. Alright. Look man, I think- Never quit or kill yourself. Never- sorry, never quit and never kill yourself. All right. All right. Look man. I never quit this is all this Never sorry never quit and never kill yourself never quit never come on or kill yourself

My reply to Archie You're never kill yourself as a picture of him watching my league gameplay with some horrible British food Yeah, and I wrote in a red Fanta and I just replied replied I replied to well. I replied to pour up syrup. Dude, I think they imported that. That's like it. That's like that's like getting the zin's when they outlawed them. They left the EU to be able to drink out there. That's contraband for sure. That's contraband.

They're firebombing. You know that's what was happening in Australia. They were firebombing smoke shops because the Blackmon competition. And YouTubers. And YouTubers. A lot of firebombing really. Just in Australia. They still have guns. Blackmon competition. And YouTubers. And YouTubers. A lot of firebombing really. Just in Australia.

They still have guns. Firebombing never hurt nobody. This is all to say League has invaded our lives. You in particular. And we'll see how this shakes out. Because people are very interested in my journey if only for the Shadenthoud of watching me mug you. Which I think is kind of funny, but also I defend you.

We're gonna just glaze over that. I don't know. I don't know enough about that word. Schadenfraud. Schadenfraud. He's watching a German YouTuber. He is, he told us about it. He's making a...

This is a normal word! It is not a normal word. Everyone says this! Fucking weirdo. Dude, everyone knows about this word. Everyone says this. Fucking weirdo. Dude, everyone knows about this. Zipper can't find shit half the time and he finds this one and he smells it perfectly. This is the salon gaslight episode and you know what? The feeling of pleasure or satisfaction that comes from witnessing someone else's misfortune. Whoa, that's dark. It would be a German word too. It's also crazy. You're trying to defend that everyone knows this. I've never heard this.

I am very surprised. I'm not kidding. So I've been treatment. It's been really fun. I like the bear, but I got a luck skin. I got a bear skin. I got the cop one and I realized he was a cop. I'm like, I don't like this. Well, no, because then he puts the sirens on when he runs it.

You know, I don't like that. What I wanted to say one and I realized he was a cop and I'm like I don't like this well No, cuz then he puts the sirens on when he runs it. Yeah, I don't like that What I wanted to say is if I end up a cab except vie if I end up hitting plat before you yep. Yep Jesus Christ fighting hitting plat before you will you be upset? No What if I do it? Bullet through the skull? Why? What's the difference? I don't want to say.

No? I don't want to say. Lay it on me. Lay it on him. Lay it on me. Because I think one of you can do it. What does that mean? I don't want to expand. I Don't want to expand all right. I won't let you expand peace layer 69

Shaden Freud About it, but I'm blown away. I'm doing Chad and Freud there you go. Let's go I hope that you guys all come back to me one day That you leave this- Why are you hopping? The water's warm, pussy! It's not, dude. You played a bit. You played a lot! Don't act like you're a player, play a bit.

Dude, we'd have so much fun if we queued. No, we would not have fun if we queued. Yeah, we would! No, no. I'd have fun with you. Hm? We'd have fun. We'd have more fun than if we queued.

You know a really sad thing that we did the other night? We both were playing League of Legends in the same Discord call, just not together. We were just solo queuing in a call at the same time. Were you talking? Yeah. Yeah, that's pretty funny. It was just funny because it was like we could very easily just play together. You could have just duod.

Yeah. I think, you know, I got my taste. Last month I played a couple games. I got one game where I carried harder than Shaked did, and Shaked's good at League of Legends, and I was like, that's funny, and then I'm done. What rank is he right now? Well, pull it up, Zipper,

because he was one game away from Plat last night, and I know he was playing a game at 3 a.m. when I was in bed and I saw it on Discord. I haven't. He had an edit in six months. One, in the vein of playing, like, having to solo queue and, like, you know, being in the same call and solo queuing and being in different games,

I think one thing that sucks a lot about League that I think would have sucked me in if it was available was if you could just five stack, like, you can in Valorant. And I get that there's like some culture within the game that like separates solo duo and like people who are like hardcore into it prefer that. But I think the the experience of watching friends have to play in different groups or duos

and not getting to play together sucks so bad. I want to play the real 5v5 game with people trying together, talking. And I feel like Solo Queue is such a watered down experience of what makes League fun. Yeah, it's a go-next simulator. Yeah. A quick congrats.

Shake Drizzle is the first one to hit plat. You see him lose one? He's just like, I, I, I, I, give me, I'll give you. No, no, he's 94 LP, so that he got plat three actually. Let's go. He went for plat. He was, last night, he was gold forward. He played enough to get to plat three.

Yeah, he's been playing like 14 games. Damn, he's just jamming Karthus. He's flying. Yeah, he's been playing like 14 games. He's just jamming Karthus He's a car this one trick and his Karthus. It has a great win rate But anyway, he he's the first everyone's trying to do it, which is also stressing me out a bit cuz stands I don't if you saw he did a 48-hour stream Yeah, he started out 13 and 2. Oh shit, and then ended 24 and like 22 Wow, right got back there. Wow. The system works. Riot got back theirs.

The system works. Riot, I genuinely think is filled with terrorists. Wow. Turns out. Turns out what happens to you. You were so right. It's like Joe Rogan would be like, turn out voting works. That was a crazy clip.

That was crazy. And this is you doing the same thing. I was trying to say it this whole time. Hey! You've been right for years. They're terrorists. They are. Filled to the brim. It's a damn cell. I don't know what Mark's feeding them. Terrorist Jews. Yeah. Feeding them different weapons and such.

Well, if you think about the origin of the company. That's right. Killed them, man. In broad daylight. What do we do, man? Are we just going to be in this hole until the season's over? Yeah, until January 6th. Yeah, that's when it ends. Does it really? Yeah, that's crazy.

Well, because there's things that Liv's got to do on the sixth. And we know who runs this. We're busy that day. Why is Rygaard ending the season? And little bar carts for mobile coffee. Yeah. It'd be very organized. I can't wait to sing my favorite Hamilton song at the Capitol. It's gonna be really fun I asked for consent to come in

No, it's all good. That's fine. We'll just be out We thought it'd be good to be here though, I don't know I think Leakes fine man I think I have a healthy relationship with it. You know what? It is fine, Nick. As long as you're hitting back the group chat. Okay, you're mad. I was literally sick.

Do I get sick days? That's not you can't say I was sick and then just stream. And then boot up stream. You're doing the job. I'm doing more of the job. Because responding takes less energy than streaming. I disagree with all this. This is my issue.

You can have a sick day, but you gotta come into the chat. You have to remember you had a shoot. You have to be like, hey guys, I'm sick. I gotta push the shoot. Instead of going, ooh, that's kinda early. Instead of ignoring my 9am message until 9pm and saying, can we push the whole damn thing? I was at 12 hours, sick sesh. What about changing my Discord profile picture to a version of me that's sick?

Or sad. Yeah, like a thermometer. It was really random. And you know like, oh, he's sick. The problem is you wouldn't remember to do that. The problem is you would forget to change it back and we'd always think you're sick. So we'd have to ask is the profile picture accurate and then you wouldn't respond. And so the system's collapsed.

It's like my signature. I used to have a signature in my email. I forgot to take it off. Yeah, like forum post. What was it? I think it was Luddy Oh 3 1 You would sign emails is life in Luddy Oh 3 1 were you emailing? We used to do so many emails on me and all my classmates really oh you're emailing your classmates Yeah, my class they knew you as Luddy Ludio 31 I would throw my camera tag in yeah I'd want them to know when my achievements were if I said this you guys would crucify me I we would

email back and forth like like oh you got spooked so this is 10 other people or you have seven years of bad luck texting this is no probably is this the generational gap between me you don't have a you don't have a time in your life where you were Emailing instead of texting friends I used to email is baddie all the time. We'd email back and forth I'm not lying. Swear to God. She went to a different school. She knows same school We're different class though. Yeah, but we would email like it would be like like quizzes and shit

And like question like oh like which Harry Potter are you yeah, but we send our answers back and forth You guys ever do that She said that to him. Yeah, she did I know the hex code of his ass. No, it's green. My email Riz was crazy Really? Yeah, I was emoticoning so fucking much, you wouldn't even know what I was saying. Getting the hottest emojis from LediO3 one. There wasn't before.

That's why you had sex when you got to college. OK, I could have had sex in high school. I chose not to. You chose not to? I chose not to. Because of God? No. Lord above? Because of because of my morals, my upright standing citizenship.

Your French mom was like, I don't want you to bust. Do not say bust. What would she say? You know what she would say so much. How would she say this? Unless you can correct us, I think it stands as bust. That's a good point. No, she would be like, none of that.

She would keep it vague. Yeah, that's cool. She is a woman of fewer words than more. That was probably fine. Yeah, it really passes. But it started off like it was going to be something. I felt like it was going to be better. You never did no email Riz?

I didn't email... AIM Riz. No, yeah, I had AIM Riz, MSN. My MSN Riz was fucked up. I was the GOAT of MSN Riz. Yes! My MSN was all British Call of Duty players. I had no girls in that line. My AIM though. My AIM went crazy.

My Yu-Gi-Oh! card maker wrist was insane. I used to use a site that would show you typing. What? Like it had that before that. Not like like someone is typing. It would show you as you're typing. Oh, like if you if you backspace, they would see you. What you would see. They would see your words in your backspace.

Yeah, that's spooky. Oh, you go on. You're like, I think I love you, dot, dot, dot delete. Yeah, it was very performative. Yeah, fire. you're like, I think I love you, dot, dot, dot, delete. Yeah, it was very performative. Yeah, fire. It was like, do you want to have class later? Oh, yeah. I wish I could see Ludwig's star.

It's like literally like him backspacing all the mistyped. Mine is just genuinely me being a fucking idiot. Dude, I would love I would love to be in the alternate reality where maybe not. I'm receiving the messages, but I'm intercepting the messages. Are you trying to fuck me? And often of Ludwig trying to fuck me, trying to court somebody of Ludwig's high school, not as high school is his like current day alternate reality. Riz like if Ludwig's interested in someone, I want to see how he

how you just want to be in an eye message group chat with him and give you. No, no, no. I'm talking about how he plays. You just want to be in an iMessage group chat with him and give him... No, no, no. I'm talking about the early beginnings. I want to see what his plays are, you know what I mean? I got Riz. I got so much Riz. Stop saying it. I don't like it. You're saying it so enthusiastically. I do. I have a lot of Riz. She said you honeydicked her.

I pulled a bad bitch. Yeah, she has said that. What does that mean? That you honeydicked her I pulled a bad bitch. Yeah, she said that what does that mean that you honey-dicked her? I mean yeah, I well she said that you were really nice And then you guys became together, and then you would make fun of her It's about me she said about you what I know I'm very sweet really a very sweet honey. Yeah for a period Then it's over. Then it's over. Then it's over. Well, I got what I wanted.

So I don't have to be nice anymore. You've been nursing that topo chico like a Bud Light. Yeah. Makes the edge up. Yeah, I mean, fuck it. Those bubbles take the edge off. Bro, I fucked up too. I was on the toilet and I was on Robin Hood. Robin Hood's been trying to entice me lately I don't know if you saw this for a period they had betting for the election. Oh, yeah You just Robin Hood open the fucking app in front and center It would say it have Kamala and Trump and you would bet on it and it would have odds That seems like it's not allowed. It was crazy to me because I'm like, I'm like, this shouldn't. Technically, it was like buying, I think, some crypto that represented.

I don't know exactly how it worked. But but yeah, they had betting up front and center. And so then, you know, they they've been slowly enticing me to do shit. That's not just buy big company stock that I like. And so I did an options play because right after the election, stocks sky-high sure none higher than Tesla Not because they've come out with new invention or automatic driving, but it's just people Speculatively investing in Elon. Oh good. Yeah

As it should be I guess and day one after he won he went up like 15% Some some crazy and I was like I was like and I didn't really know what options play was it was like And day one after he won, he went up like 15 percent, something crazy. And I was like, I was like, and I didn't really know what an options play was. And it was like it's selling for like three oh five or some shit, a share. I'm like, all right, options play two weeks, two eighty, two fifty. And it was like you could stand to gain three hundred thousand. You could stand to lose fifteen hundred. I'm like, cool with me. Yeah, sure. That's a great deal. Yeah.

And and anyway, now I get updates from Robin Hood every day. And it's like bad news, dot, dot, dot. And it's just it's still going up. Can you look up Tesla right now? Look at Tesla stock. It is bad. Rope emoji, chair emoji. Don't open the app today, maybe.

Keep us closed. Yeah, actually, it's bad. I'm on Muggenhood. What is that? Oh wow, yeah. It is up 41% in the past five days. Okay, so you're losing.

41% dude! That's crazy! That's crazy! Five days! My luncheon had a gun in it. Yeah, so anyway, I got fuckin' boomed. When's luncheon going public, bro? Let me fuckin' get in there. I don't think that product's ever going public.

I just want product. I don't even want it in. I just want free product. I'll eat one for breakfast every morning. We have one down here. Have you tried it? It's. I want cheese. I'll eat one for breakfast every morning. We have one down here. Have you tried it? Dude, it's been under... It's been sitting on a table outside of refrigeration for like two months. I like my cheese moldy, bro.

It's really good. Yeah, like blue cheese. It looks... It's growing a colony in there. Yeah. It's gonna grow another luncheon. It's how they spawn. Yeah, yeah. You're changing up on us. You got the luncheon. You're making options plays. And you're playing league and not not responding.

You're turning full right wing because of league 100 percent. It seems like I have no trust in my fellow man. I hate my teammates. I hate my enemies. So the amount of Donald Trump, Maga, clan tags and Call of Duty is skyrocketing. Oh, I'm sure they're all the league. It's a huge buy right now on the clan. I haven't seen that.

I booted into a game and the first thing someone typed is, damn, can't believe people voted for that bitch. And I was like, that's crazy. The first word you said. Yeah, it's it's you. You realize how low people are? No, no, no. They meant they meant Kamala. Yeah. And then it was a Fiora. She went 10 and I'll carry the game single-handedly. I

Was like Maga. I got me dude. There's a lot of race names on that shit, too. I'm like damn I forgot The screenshot Nick's the one in Nick's game was insane Nick sends a screenshot. I don't know what he's trying to show. I was trying to show my stat line I'm not shit anymore. He had a decent stat line. And then instead of what we all see is the incredibly racist name that he had just missed. Dude, I didn't even notice it until you guys pointed it out.

I think I have like the brain filter because of cod where like every name is like that. Right, dude. I'm not kidding. Every name is like that in cod. It's so bad. Yeah, yeah, we'll be alright. We'll... ...be alright.

You sound like you're not gonna be alright. Yeah, you do. I actually agree with you. I think we'll be alright, but you sound like you're not gonna be alright. Why you got dog print, Jibbit, bro? You don't even have a dog. I do have a dog. Come on. Not much of a dog. It's even have a dog. I do have a dog Come on Cutie said that Swift she would never admit Swift belongs to you

It's our dog. Oh Dog, dude, are you? I am Swift second favorite person on earth. What else will you take? Yeah, but the gap is there's second and everything Yeah, bro. Look, it's like It's Kobe and Kwame Brown or whatever It's like what's her it pays out only the first place. I think in this one. Yeah, it's it's it's we both Are loved by Swift. I don't think that's true. This is true. I don't think Swift knows you he knows No, he gets excited when I get home. It's scared when you get home, bro If I weren't ahead he's a little bit.

And swift barks. Yeah. He hates people with hats. At 12 had a hat. He came on. I was like, he doesn't like that. He's like, what? Like, Muslim people?

I was like, no, man. I think he doesn't like it 12 for a different reason. No, dude. It's the hat. Could be the same reason. I think. It's the it to offer a different reason. No, dude, is that how it could be the same reason? I think he does. Is that how racist is? He is also racist for sure, but he hates hats more.

That's kind of sweet. Is it? We should get Swift a little Trump hat. Oh, this is funny. Make kibble great again or some shit. No, no. If Swift, look, Dad, as if I go to your house, so I was wearing an old Trump hat, I'm blowing his shit off spoon.

What the fuck? Should we kill the owner and put the hat on the dog? No. What are you, cop? What the fuck is that? Shoe first. Collect the meat later. I think Swift would happily eat you if QT gave permission.

No, he'd be too scared. He wouldn't, no, no. If you'd, if you keeled over, died in the house, he'd eat your ass first, because it's juicy. Dude, when you get home, you should take one of those videos where like, you act like you die in front of your pets and see what they do. I bet Swift just runs away. I bet Swift just maybe pisses on you.

Dude, the other day, me and Cutie are home. She's just working on streamer awards. I'm downstairs watching the Patriots and Swift starts howling, which is what he does when she's not home. And I'm like, I'm like, bro. And then I like, I get Cutie and then she like knocks through like a glass door. And then he looks up and he freaks out.

He didn't even realize she was home. He was just he got sad because he hadn't seen her in a few minutes. God, he's so stupid. I think I think okay. He is awesome. You know, if he was a human, is it fully platonic? You think his love for his owner? Ooh, like do animals

Only platonically love their owners. I don't think Swift wants to fuck your girlfriend is what is if you're asking sure It's probably a very similar love to like a child and a parent They're the child there. Yeah, no, that's how we come at. That's how we imagine it. Yeah Do you imagine anything? It Do you think it's romantic? We know Kootz wanted to fuck me. That's true. No, wait, wait, this is rewriting history. No, it was the other way around.

She actually liked me. What? No. She's changing the story. It's not. How convenient. We always let you rewrite history. She just wanted my damn Instagram stories.

It's not rewriting fucking history. I did not want to fuck my cat. Well, then you said you cat wanted to fuck you. So what are we doing? We're telling the truth, I guess. This is the least amount of truth you ever told. Well, Coots isn't talking about it. Coots can't speak.

You're the one putting this out there. Oh, fuck my shit. It happens. It happens. And you've got you've got gross poop all over your. And I just dropped thick ropes in my freaking pants. I have ropes too? Here, here, here. You're suicide-ing the sonar machine.

You can take my spare, Ludwig. You can take my spare. Here, take his spare. I've got me undies on right now, Ludwig. And I'll take them off for you. And you wouldn't want to shit those, cause those are nice. I ruined my jeans cause I wasn't wearing underwear. You're not even wearing underwear? Why do I have any? You shit your jeans? I shit those, those are nice. I ruined my jeans because I wasn't wearing underwear. You're not even wearing underwear?

Why do I have any? You shit your jeans? I shit my jeans. You're not supposed to wash them though, right? When fall comes around each year, you probably shit in your jeans too. Oh, yeah, I'm shitting my jeans in the winter sometimes. No, you've never done it really? That's sort of weird though, right?

No, it's not weird, it's normal. You are in a bad spot, but we can get you outside, we can get the hose, we can clean you off, and then let's put you in some MeUndies. You guys will still beat me off sometimes, right? I can't, my, my, I have been advised to not say yes or no to that question. I'm not gonna hold the balls, but you know what, we'll have the ball caddy inside of the MeUndies underwear. I'm like, make me cheese myself. Hey look, wait, they can't promise anything, but MeUndies underwear. I'm like, make me jeez myself. They can't promise anything, but MeUndies are very comfortable, they're very stretchy, breathable, the sustainable materials, responsibly sourced.

I like that. But also- I like responsibility. Yeah, they hold your balls in a way that we are unable to. Maybe the jeans are a little harsh on your skin, giving you a little rash. We could get you in some joggers or? I didn't know people were underwear. We can actually just put you in a bralette, see if you like it.

I don't know. And if you'd like to be in a bralette or if you've recently shit your pants, you can go to meonis.com slash zipper and get 20% off your first purchase plus shipping at meonis. Meonis comfort from the outside. Oh, I can smell it. It smells like eggs. I can feel your insides are out.

I was discussing it during our break. What? The dogs got stinky pee. He does not. He does. We got a lot of piss on my leg and I was in the fucking cop car. You got swatted. You can't let a dog piss on your leg. You know when you know when it was stinky swat. The cops were like, are people eating asparagus in this household?

The fair modes. It was so gross. You know, lizards will do that thing where they're like ejaculate piss and shit and in a moment of fear and then it's supposed to get rid of like the thing that the predator that's snatching them up. That's what Swift does with his pee. I'm sorry you tell me lizards cum on their predators. Yeah they cum out of fear.

But it's not just cum. And what is the predator doing? Like, oh fuck, they're coming. Oh, and the predator is like, oh dude, fucking nasty, I don't want to eat them anymore. Cold blooded ropes. And it has little skulls coming out of it like ghost flame and the open ring. That's what's coming out of Swift's penis. Dude, it's a normal piss. No, it's definitely not. Listen, Swift has normal pee and he has scared pee.

He had scared pee when he pissed all over Aiden when he was watching him. And he had scared pee when we got swatted and QT was like, can you put him in the kennel? I'm like, okay, I tried to grab him. He pissed on my fucking ankle. Then they put us in the cop car and it smelled. That shit stunk. It stunk like I was fucking Aiden in it. These are three petless men trying to fucking tell me what a dog's like. Y'all, you have a pet?

Hmm? No. No? Cause it would fucking die. But you don't have a dog. Cause it would die when you go to the fucking... You don't have a dog's like. Y'all, you have a pet? Hmm? No, because it fucking died. You don't have a dog. Because you would die when you go to the fucking. You don't have a dog. It's not yours. I do have a dog. That dog, is it your dog?

If you drop dead, he would just get confused and then howl. He would shed a tear. No, you would shed a fucking tear. I'm sorry. You would have already been there. You think you'd shed a tear for you? Yes. Hey, you know what's fucked is you don't have a fucking pet, you would shed a fucking sorry. You've already been you think you'd shed a tear for you. Yes Hey, you know what's fucked is you don't have a fucking pet. You don't know. I don't and if you did it would fucking die It would die dying dying die. You go to your sanctuaries from only you had about it only eating air one groceries

Me I've feeded air one groceries air one dog food you'd be gone a year for three weeks and start eating the floor Yeah, and I'd come back in it'd be dead like my Puffles and Club Penguin. Whoops, forgot. All right, yours would die. No, I'd love mine. Yours would die from the heater. It would burn alive. I don't have a heater anymore.

I have an electric blanket. Checkmate, atheist. It would be smothered by it. That's fine. That's fine. That's game. That's game. As long as it dies that way.

Nick could take care of one, but won't. He feels more hurtful than all the others. Is it not true? I would. I would love it to death. You won't. I've been talking about getting a dog. He has often said, I don't want a dog because it'll die one day and he doesn't want to be

sad. He said that. That's my biggest reason I don't want a dog. That's so dumb, no? Yeah, you're dumb, no? Yeah, this is dumb, no? I've had dogs and every time they die, I'm don't have a dog. That's so dumb, no? Yeah, you're dumb, no? Yeah, this is dumb, no? I've had dogs and every time they die I'm depressed for like a year.

Yeah, but the joy you got is equivalent, no? Uh, yeah, maybe. Like, why are you sad? Because the dog's dead. Yeah, why? Are you sad? You trying to say because it once lived? Because the loving relationship. Because the amount of joy you had is lost.

Yeah. You're such an ogre. But you have the amount of joy so much longer. If it dies, that is mathematically makes sense to me. I like that. It's not about math. You have to be sad to have been once happy now, alright man? You're saying it's robotic, I'm saying it's human. It is human. I would think about getting a small little pup. Small little pup? You're gonna it's robotic, I'm saying it's human. It is human. I would think about getting a small little pup.

Small little pup? You're gonna get a pup? The only way to get a dog would be if I could take it everywhere, because I leave the house a lot. So I gotta have my dog with me all the time? No, then you become a part of the problem. I hate this. What's wrong with the dogs coming around?

People bring their dogs too many places in LA. Oh my god, you're just like your rotten girlfriend. You're a fucking nimby. She's so, you're just like your rotten girlfriend. Yes. You're a fucking nimby. She's so right about this. You're a nimby. This is crazy. Dude, we were at a movie theater.

We went to go see Conclave, the movie about picking the pope. And the fucking person in front of us has their dog at the AMC. Did anything wrong? Big distinction. Yeah. You have to be honest. Was it loud? It wasn't loud. Then who fucking cares? Why does it have to be honest. Yeah, was it loud? It wasn't loud

You're just mad you're actually an inby no Imagine you have a dog and you want to see a movie, but you can't find anyone to watch your dog Yeah, like guess I can't go see a movie. That's the price of getting the dog. That is so that's the social That's the price of getting the dog. That is so- That's the social price of getting the dog. If you have a well-trained, behaved dog that will not be loud, and also kind of fucks with some Tarantino, then take it to the movies! Problematically by the way, but you can talk to the dog later about that.

Yeah, it's all about the feet thing. What about when you're at a fucking cafe, and people bring their dogs to the cafe, and then the dog fucking- you know, one thing that I don't like is when somebody has their dog, they're laying on the- the dog's on the ground, it's chillin', it's not bothering anybody, but then other people walk by with their dogs, and then the dogs fucking get up and they bark and they fight. And then that happens repeatedly, all the time. You're a psychopath! This is not Psycho!

Get a goddamn badge and shoot it in the head if you're this pissed off about it. Join the police department, it takes four seconds. Yeah, it is easy. It is easy. And then I'd have the goddamn right. What about when someone has their dog in public and everyone who walks by gets their whole day made better? Because they saw a dog today. True. That happens more.

Wait, okay, so am I the asshole? Because me and QD go on a walk with our dog. Our dog. Going on a walk with your dog is fine. Pause. And then we go into a coffee shop. Yeah. With the dog? With the dog. Going on a walk with your dog is fine. Pause. And then we go into a coffee shop. Yeah. With the dog? With the dog. Why don't you leave the dog outside? Fucking tie it to a pole. Because it'll see a big car and run at it and I'll never see it again. What do you fucking mean tie it to a pole? You know Swift! Tie it to a pole. What the fuck do you think happens if I tie Swift to the pole? No, what he's saying is then don't go outside with fucking Swift. That's the price of having Swift. Yeah, put- Come back, Swift is chewing through the whole wrist.

God forbid Swift gets some exposure therapy. So he becomes a functioning dog. Swift would find a way to hang himself off that pole. Yeah, Swift's suppressed. It's bad. Within minutes of leaving him there. What a crazy take. So you'd rather bring the dog- why do the dogs have to come into the stores because they're allowed in the stores Hayden because the stores allow it What about people who are okay? What about this? What about this? How about you go to a store? Trader Joe's the other week someone has their big ass dog Zipper look up our dog

Hopping up on the counter at the fucking what why does the first person checking you out have to deal with your dog? Why are they obligated first of they weren't checking you out? They were probably just doing their fucking job. Yeah, second off if they're allowed in the store What do you think I meant by checking out? They were looking you. What do you think is more pause pause? You know what you get it dogs are not allowed in Trader Joe's. Yeah, actually service animals Okay, the process animal cheese is insane The- the- okay the problem thing- Also the service animal cheese is insane! Wait, wait, wait, this makes a ton of sense probably because of uh-

Wait, service animals are- is not cheese. No, people- people who don't need service animals sign their dogs up to be service animals so they can take them in whenever they want to. This is not a real thing. I've met- I've met like five people who have done this. This ain't a real thing. It literally is. Service animals are hardworking citizens. Service animals can get this fucking I just think I just think people's dogs don't need to be everywhere all the time

And I it's a very LA thing a blind guy very la thing Fucking everywhere Oh, you have a big stick in public, and I'm not That's fine glass is night time, sunglasses off, you know? Why can't Swift just wait outside the fucking coffee shop? Dude! What's more annoying? What's more annoying to you? Someone having a dog being in a coffee shop quietly on the floor

or an owner who's only purchased a coffee being there for 9 hours on a laptop? To me, personally? Yeah. Fucking, the dog, I don't know, I don't interact with the guy in his laptop crazy guy You guys have a whole table all day Nothing object. Yeah, not there if it's a cute Swift's a cute dog. Yes, I know Swift too well Yeah, what what what I what do you want me to say about Swift? I'm saying like you're in a coffee shop and you see Swift, you're not happier. He doesn't add to the ambiance.

If I have no history with Swift? No history, no history. He's just a floozy on the street. Not really. Your girl has... This is fucking... Is this comes from his girl? She hates dogs.

What? Isn't that crazy? Hold on, hold on. This is animals. Is it because they eat babies? The part that I've always hated is when somebody brings their dog in a public place and then the dog is intrusive or bark-aid. Do you hate babies on planes? Of course.

I mean, me too. But what you're saying is you are mad at the concept of the dog being potentially a problem, even if the dog is chill. And that seems what we call prejudice towards dogs. Yeah. Not all dogs are bad. Yeah. Yeah.

But sometimes to the coffee shops, they're not bringing the best dogs. I think, I, I think you could just leave the dog outside or at home. We could put up a wall to divide us in the dog. It is so much more work to just tie your dog up outside leave them unattended go and get your coffee That's more work. Yeah. Yeah, because you have to like do it You have to like evaluate the situation moderate and monitor your poorly trained dog inside Wait, wait, this is crazy. This is crazy. You made it poorly trained You did add that. Why'd you add that?

As a dog owner, this is actually a real problem Last example, last example, because you're right, you're right. AMC movie dog that didn't bother me the whole time. I was just like, I think it's insane to bring your dog to a movie theater. Were you both talking about it? Because you don't, dude I bet they were talking shit. You don't know.

They were like, it's crazy. You don't know if your dog is just gonna be chilled the whole time. I feel like you don't know. Some people do. But Aiden will be like, L.D.'s dog, so. Aiden will meet someone who wrongs him deeply

and be like, yeah, that's fine. That's fine. But then a dog is in a movie theater and it's like, well, we should kill it. Somebody, somebody brought their dog. Somebody brought their dog. Is certain, yeah. People, this is fine if people actually need it.

I'm just saying that people abuse the system of service dogs. What if it's a blind person and the dog is like tapping what's happening on the screen? Is that wrong? If the dog is like tapping what's happening on the screen? Is that wrong? If the dog is putting in the McDonald's order? Do you find this to be a problem?

These are the type of issues that Republicans bring up to distract from normal issues Yeah, like education No, stop doing dogs We're abusing the service dog system You're right, you're right We're abusing the service dog system and don't think about anything It's a bureaucracy and it must be dismantled But dogs are making the kids trans.

I was on a really long flight and someone had their dog in the carrier below the seat in front of them and they were sitting to my left. Their dog smelled like shit. So I had to smell their dog smelling like shit the whole flight. Aiden when he gets on the plane looking at the shit on his pants. Oh, do you think that they should have just thugged it out and not gone wherever they were going to think that they should have just thugged it out and not gone wherever they were gonna go?

They should have flown private. They should have JSSed it. If they actually cared, when they purchased the dog they should have considered going on flights. If your dog has to come first of all, you can just put your dog in like the fucking... I really thought he was gonna say dog.

You can keep your dog in a carrier in the other fucking part of thought he was gonna say dog. I really thought he was gonna say dog. I know, you can just keep your dog- This isn't- You can keep your dog in a carrier in the other fucking part of the plane, can't you? No, no, no. Isn't that a statement of the owner, not the dog? I think that- I agree that if you have a annoying dog in public, it's really loud and barking, it smells terrible in a small space, then the owner should have either trained it or like, given it a bath. This is so many of the dogs.

Dogs are not raccoons. The dog is not the problem. The dog- it doesn't make the dogs that are well-behaved also a problem I'm not here to put the dogs on trial I'm gonna shoot the dog or all the fucking talk to the owner I'm gonna do maybe the owner's not like shit dude this is an interesting development in your in your life when you go to other cities in the world they are fucking there are dogs everywhere in your life Weird West Coast American cities or the people have their dogs in New York City in New York City not as many as Los Angeles

You just like places where your house doesn't have a backyard That people who don't have backyards don't really have dogs. In spheres we shoot your dog. In spheres there are no dogs. Thank God. In spheres we make it then we crucify every dog like Jesus. I just don't think your dog needs to be anywhere within. If they bark we kill them. And for what it's worth, Swift stays at home most of the time.

Great. So what does a f***ing Shaco monitor on? You're f***ing, you're hella racist. To dogs. this is true I'm not racist, it's speciesist if anything Oh that's better Speciesist is better, yes Not in my front yard

Not in my front yard, it's fire I'd eat your dog, I'd cook and eat your dog You would not And it would taste rank The thing is he'd have to get through his owner She would cut you up She would kill me I would not have told me. And he fell off the bone. And it would taste rank. The thing is, you'd have to get through his owner. Hmm? She would cut you up. She would kill me.

She's talking about myself. Fucking assholes. Oh, no. She would kill me. She's talking about fucking herself. We were talking about her. I'm her fucking owner. No, she'd slice him up like fucking-

We are both owners of that dog. No. If she, God forbid, is confined to a bed for the rest of her days, I have to take care of the dog for the rest of his days. I have to take care of the dog for the rest of his days. I have a question, Lone. Yeah. How long do you think until you're better than QD at League? I would not like to answer this question.

Answer it, answer it. While you answer it, while you answer it. I don't wanna answer. Just answer the question, bro. It's tomatoes and oranges. Yeah, we could probably rank those easily if we wanted to. She plays a different role.

I like oranges more. She plays ADC. I don't think I could ever be better than her. Really? Ever? Well, it's like, can there be a better carpentry than Jesus? Maybe we've made better buildings, but... Bro, she, I was streaming that game I had placed into Silver.

She comes into chat. I've never heard her talk to me like that. She crashed out. It was crazy. I will tell you, when we had breakfast the next day and I said that you buy your account, it was like that Chris Pratt, like Avengers. They like zoomed in on her face.

She went, what? This is a lie. It is not a what? What is this farce you're trying to keep up? What rank is she? She's not really. She's not in a rank phase right now. Is it? She's in between ranks.

But she she's above the idea of race. She was a gold player, like somewhat. For sure. Played like a gold player at one point. Yeah. Like a meanest thing you ever said. Like it was that she was. No, she played. She put. Yeah, she played like a gold player for sure. She's going to listen to this.

She played. Everything we've said today, she's going to hate. She. So you got to understand, ADC is a very hard role right now. The skill ceiling is very low. They're just because they're so squishy to tank meta. So, I mean, like you get a fucking Udyr who's level 18. G2.

Oh, I like that. You know, here. So it's like there's brain dead champions like volley and a new dear. You get a fucking OODIR who's level 18 G-Twerp. OODIR! I like the way he's wearing his hair. So it's like there's brain dead champions like Volley and OODIR and you know, but. Volley's not brain dead. Well, it's not really thoughtful, is it? God, bro. Do you think you're playing very thoughtfully? I do.

Do you think you just hit the R where there's a lot of people and dive in? You didn't even know what his R does. He goes, hooy. What else does it do, pussy? It makes a little tremor. It makes everyone quake and qu in. You didn't even know what his art does. He goes, who? What else does it do, Pussy? It makes a little tremor. It makes everyone quake and quiver. Disables towers. I'm excited.

Everyone's veins are shivering. Towers for two seconds. I want to disable. But you didn't know that. And this Bolly Bear was going to hop on you in some game. You're under tower. Tower doesn't should be. Why? Why does he fucking get to do that?

Because you didn't fucking read well well let's let that part sink in because I think it's a learning moment Aidan wants to kill all dogs so minus two yeah you're a cop bro that is true you're turning the new cop like feature yeah bro you're a cop for that I think uh stand on that I love them too much. I got a cathartic story for you, Aiden, because I saw a dog owner get banned from flying United Airlines. On my flight, she was there.

It was a cross cross aisle for me. This lady had her dog in a carrier. Yeah. And the whole flight, I don't notice this dog's there. Great pooch. Didn't do didn't do a damn thing. Great pooch. Didn't do a damn thing. Great analysis. It behaves well. You like it.

Behaved well. And I still thought to myself, it should be killed. Yeah. We are taxiing. As we're taxiing, she opens the carrier. The dog just pokes his head out, little pup. It's one of those dogs that just look like a fucking mop. One of those tiny dogs? Smell like bitch in here a fucking mop one of those tiny dogs smell like bitch in here

It's smell like bitch. What that smell like this smell And and I'm like, oh cute dog and the flight attendant comes over and she's like you cannot have your dog out And then the lady was like just trying to like let him breathe and they have like a back-and-forth and then she like fake puts Them away. Yeah, I love that dog still out. Yeah, she comes back She goes you're gonna stay on the plane till everyone de-planes. Oh my god And I'm like I'm like and then she starts to fight back and she's like she's like you want to keep going and And they have a fucking little cat off about the dog. That's crazy And you know who wins the cat offs the fucking the government always

Always oh wait, did she get removed? She had to stay till the very end And then I think they fucking wrote her up or some shadow how it works in plane world Oh my god. She got Saturday school. Yeah, yeah, she had to take a plane on Saturday Write your name a bunch. Yeah, I will say some dog owners get real fucking weird. At the end of the day, they're like, hey, put them in the goddamn thing. You're like, OK, fine. I want to protect my dog.

It should be about protecting. I feel like our fur babies should be able to do what they want. I think my fur baby should be able to have a puppuccino now. The puppuccino is free, right? I'll take three. Do you want to you want to get liberals over the line to the Republican side, start charging for puppuccino. Oh, they'll lose their shit.

They'll start freaking the fuck out. I saw this guy got irrationally mad at a video. It was this guy. He's like, check out this hack. And he's at a coffee shop. And he's like, can I have an espresso? And they get him one. And he's like, can you put a little milk in?

And she's like, sure. And he's like, more. And she's like, you put a little milk in and she's like sure and he's like more Okay, and he does it until it's filled until it is a latte Yeah, it's like the the Chipotle hack you film them to make sure That's which is cringe bro like they're fucking shoveling meat on on torture For me Let a guy behind the counter taking your balls out because the videos being taken It's like okay, I'll give you double meat, but you're getting don't you okay with that was that what is this? What is that card is this like the Adam Sandler free subway for life from happy Gilmore card?

Let me see flash this card and receive receive one free entry at any Chipotle location in North America. Up to three modifiers included. May incorrect to charge. You can use this card up to once per day on each of up to 50 days prior. This is this is. Wait, what Apple card? Why do you why do rich people get free food?

You don't deserve this. Pay for it. How did you get this? I don't know Awesome QR code Arrest that man Sorry, he's not a dog. I can't shoot him in the head. I want to make sure it's scanned it does Nick you're allowed to use up to 10 meals because I've bought so many movies on your Amazon account

Actually I'm gonna give you the 10 meals because I've bought so many movies on your Amazon account. Actually? No, I rented them actually but... It's expensive to buy them. I have rented a lot of movies on Nick's account. Someone's gotta do it. Fire. You know what? I got them back. I got them back okay my PlayStation 5 is still linked to the old company card Is it not your PlayStation subscription, it's not mine

It's pretty solid it's a solid It's pretty solid. It's a solid car. That's me. It's metal. I'll give it though. It's metal. I'm canceling PlayStation today. I'll give it though.

Whoa! Come on! It's an expense, you play video games. I see Aiden go through with yingling the, like, expenses, and he's trying to just separate any personal stuff, and I'm just seeing all my fucking fun shit get cut down. He's like, YouTube TV, That doesn't count. Cut it.

Yes, it does. Why would that be a business expense? Because he's a YouTube streamer. Man, he's bad at this. That doesn't hooked you up. Baby, you do it. I always did. And I was my man. Slime hook me up. This is he's the mentality when somebody's like, no, no, because it's a if it's an expense, you can you can write it off.

You know, it's better than writing off the expense? Not having the expense at all. Sure, but not having it. But he likes it. But I'm going to have to pay with my own money now. Yeah. Yeah. Stupid. And you're wrong now, because he's already going to use money. That's freaking stupid.

If he likes it, there's a way to explain. Write this off as research. OK, yeah, easily. Well, Doc Ludwig's salary then. You're not my salary. Fine, we'll dock his salary. What salary do we gotta do all this? I love owning Ludwig in many ways, but this, again, it's just wrong.

No, it's not. I wasn't wearing green, this is an expense. Well, don't pack that in, cause that one's probably... We all think he wore green. I'm going to... She's gonna... She's gonna what? She's going to what? She's going to what?

I just call her. You do. You're doing a dogs. I just damn might. It's bad. Just damn right. No, because it's he he. Let me keep it. Come out of the company

account anymore, because we need to save money. How much money is it? That I think like 90 a month. Oh, my God. YouTube TV is expensive. Yeah, it's pretty rough. That's really expensive. You can still write it off though. It is definitely above 70.

I think it is literally like 69.99. And then I had the NFL Sunday ticket for like an extra 100 a month. Wait, so that's it, it is more. It is more. We need to get rid of the expenses. Sunday, Sunday, Sunday. I love football. I love football.

Dude, we, this is it. Let's go Patriots, let's go. There's some shit in this company account. We used to use, we used to use Shopify, you know, to do stuff a long time ago. There's a Shopify business subscription for $400 a month. If I take some bite, I just learned about it. They take a bite. And I I'm doing a me and Yingling are going through expenses.

We're doing a little audit. And I'm like, wow, why do we pay this $400 a month for Shopify? I thought we canceled that two years ago. And I was like, fuck, maybe I fucked this up. Maybe this is a mistake that I have made. And I go and look and I'm like, no, wait, our Shopify account did get canceled two years ago. So what's this? It's a like this is the Shopify account

that Ludwig was using to like fulfill merch out of his garage years ago. Oh, and it's still charging four hundred dollars a month since then. And no one has ever no one has ever looked at this charge and canceled it. Yeah, when I had stopped doing that, I was not looking at it. I thought we were still using Shopify. So I was like, yeah, seems good. Not my fault. And so we're getting rid of the YouTube TVs and the PlayStation networks.

I'm down with that one. We're making cuts. We all have to suffer. Yeah, some of us more than others. Mostly Shopify suffering here. Getting a little chilly this time of year. I'll wait for his fall. I'll wait for sweetheart.

No, let him be on his phone during the read. This is good. Is this good? I found it. Found what? A way to get all of my food in with as little time as possible so I can queue up to beat you. Really? In League of Legends?

Yeah, because I realize I've been wasting at least three games a day by waiting for my food to be made. It does take a while, doesn't it? It takes so much time. And you got a grocery shop. This is brought to you by Factor, this podcast is no prep, no mess meals, they're fast and easy, but let me tell you something Ludwig, it takes two minutes to heat up a factor. A lot of flavors, a lot of different ingredients, a lot of different kinds. Quick. But the thing is, I'll always have the edge on you.

Because I don't heat them up. He doesn't heat them up. He doesn't have to. He's got a two minute edge. He's on the rift two minutes before you are. Over time, two minutes, two minutes, two minutes every meal of the day. What is that? He's cleared two camps before I even touched the first. My God. That's a lot of two camps before I even touched the first. That's a lot of CS.

And I mean, protein plus. I got 35 plus meal choices. I got premium ingredients. What is that, calorie smart? It could be. It could also mean creep score. Do you know what that is, bitch? Didn't think so.

Anyway, if you want to mog Ludwig on the riff, just like me, slime on there. Go to factor meals dot com slash a yard 50 and use code the yard 50 get 50% off plus 20% off the next box in your subscription What is that little again the code the art code is yard 50 yard 50 all right? Well now yard 50 at factor meals comm slash the yard 50 and back to the episode I got 31 bucks 31 bucks from X the X the Everything app. Really? Yeah. For what? It's like total...

Because you have a tweet rep? Posting, I guess. Yeah, yeah. That's so little. Dude, you get 31 dollars from posting on X? X the Everything app. It's a great place to post things that you think. You got good delivery, bro.

I always said that about you. I bet you could like figure out like it's probably really easy to figure out what your time is valued at. Like you're like the amount of time, you know, what is one hour of Ludwig's life worth? Oh, yeah, what you can make, and then you can figure out how much you got to tweet to make as much as you're worth in an hour. And then tweeting becomes not a waste of time for you. And we can grow.

We could raw calc. How much money is being lost when you play League offline? Oh, that's it. That's a dark calculation. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Offline. I'm not. We're not losing money. Hey, online, online league streams. That's television. That's that's just work. That's work.

Derris, I'm sorry. What is this fucking terrorist nation where I can't get a couple for me? Couple for you? They should all be for you! I give seven to the people online, I give five to the members online-ish, and I give a couple for me! Do you think you get sniped? 14 games?

Of course I get sniped. Ah, that's what's up. Of course I get sniped. When I'm playing League, I'm the number one League streamer. That's crazy. Put her there. Yeah. Doctor. Is that true? Yes. I guess you're live with like 20k. OK, no, I was like 15k in my league game, but that's number one.

The league's not a huge category. I mean, the Bows will hit 17k, KDRAW when he's live, but he hasn't been live in like a couple of weeks. I don't know if this is accurate because I'm not exactly sure how the tool works, but I'm working on some stuff for streamer awards. And I had to use this like document they have of like all the biggest clips from the year.

And this is like Twitch clips, not like re-uploaded to YouTube clips, like Twitch clips. And they had like a tool to like look up like every, it looked what it looked, what seemed like every clip on Twitch. And I started had like a tool like look up like every it looked what it looked what seemed like every clip on Twitch and I sorted by most viewed all year. You know what number three was? Tyson at Blime the the Valorant clip where you tell them your age It said it was the third most viewed how many views it was like a quarter million. Oh my god

That's mugged or like 300K or something? Mogged? That's, I mean... Sorting from January 1st of this year, and only viewership on the clip link. Yeah. Maybe that's right. Uh-oh.

I was like, that's... Happy learned how to putt. It's crazy. Well, I think it's misleading. Why is that? Well, it's not misleading. It's just that just that's the metric for that site for that link. Well, I think like clips are not viewed through the clip viewer on Twitch. Yeah, they're viewed on reuploads, right?

They're viewed on reuploads on Twitter or. Yeah, I don't think he's the most viewed clip in the year. I think he's the most viewed Twitch. Third most viewed in the year. You're not the third most viewed. This think he's the most. I think the most you'd twish. Let there's this third most you'd be here. You're not the third most. Clip point crazy. That's what it says. It's clip one crazy on on X.

It did it. No, it kind of did on my Twitter, but but on LSF. OK, yeah. It fuck you up that I kind of got it like that. No, I actually love when you got it like that. I love when you got it like that. Fuck you up on your silver for it. I think both of the first two were Valorant clips.

Yeah, this sounds wrong. I think this is wrong first two were Valorant clips. Yeah. This sounds wrong. I think this is wrong. Cause I'm almost positive I remember a Twitch clip of Kai with maybe Kevin Hart getting like a mill. Yeah, I feel like shit like that would be, like more shit like that has happened than me. I was skeptical too.

I wonder why. I was like, I wonder, yeah, but it was like. Here's how you view the most viewed Twitch clips from the past year. You go to live stream fail, sort by top, sort by year, and then just click on it. It's those ones? Yeah, because that's where those are. That's the only reason that has a quarter mil is because of that. Live stream fail, can you sort by one year?

Yeah. You go by top, you go by past year. No, that's because that's there's no way for Twitch clips to get views. Like they added a way to do it. No, I don't think a soul uses it. Part of it would be also that happened in January. So it has had some of the most time. A lot of time to incubate. A lot of incubation time. A lot of people wanted to see me. A lot of people want to see you.

Right. They want to see you now. Don't back out. Join the laughing bit. Can I ask you something, Javin? Why when I type in chat, you don't back out, join the laughing bit. Can I ask you something, Javin? Why when I type in chat you don't fucking acknowledge me?

I don't read chat. Yes you fucking do. When you type I don't. Why? What the hell? Alright now go to the... Yeah that's good, keep scrolling, this is fine, right? That one says five days ago, I don't think it refreshed.

No, that was just an upvoted clip, just yeah yeah. Asmine band on Twitch. Did it refresh?, it didn't refresh These are this is not in chronological order. It's almost certainly refresh go relevant stop This is right folks, I don't know are being weird about it now just go to the first twitch clip I want to watch five days ago. So find a clip on twitch Yep, and then click that sure that and then just see that guy him reacting to as we getting banned NMP reacting Yeah, what see the views on that guy. Him reacting to Aswin getting banned. It's NMP reacting. Yeah. What's the views?

Uh, 600. 652. Maybe not. OK, I've been mugged. Wow. Yeah, I don't get how it works. Uh, yeah, I think that would be more indicative of most viewed. Oh, wait, what? Last month. I wonder if I even sorted to. Yeah, maybe you sorted around.

Why don't you acknowledge me, bro? What do you mean? I'll be typing in chat. I'll be like, what's up? Upload SpaghettiOs. So tired. Whenever you pop in chat, I get excited. I'm happy that you're there.

When Nick pops in and says some shit, I'm happy that he's there. You never show up. You don't even come in. You hate dogs. Here's the thing. Here's the thing. Dogs. You said kill all dogs on an alt.

You ever see those videos? It's like, like, oh, fucking with our friend at work. And it's a guy who works at like Starbucks. And then they show up and they get like, don't do this. And they're like, hey, let me get a hundred cappuccinos. Do not act like you are a Starbucks worker. And he's like, what's the name? And he's like, oh, can you put penis liquor?

Can you put spongebob pussy? Captain Butt-head. Put dry lips. Yeah, and so that's what you do. He's making a compelling argument. That's crazy. I'm at work. Yeah.

Dude, you're at work. And he has to be there. Girl. Girl, I'm at work. Let me finish my shift, then we can chat. I just think it's interesting how when you show up in my chat. I think it's funny. I just think it's funny. You're here with the idea that you're doing this. I just think it's interesting how when you show up in my chat. He just ignores me. And I'm like, is he mad at me?

One time I did say League of Grayscale, but I don't think he saw that. So. You said what? I said League of Grayscale. What does that mean? It means when you're dead, the map is. Fire. I heard it in chat bit of a silly meme. That is explained.

I think it's funny when I play League. I genuinely don't read the fucking do I don't look at chat. Be like, I don't think I should buy that guy in the chat. I only look at chat when I need help, which is usually when I'm buying cuz I don't know what to buy You also don't like the back seat I don't like them

I'm not very consistent. What if the four of us queue? The yard goes on the rift. I would do that I like it us and chig we play one Epic game we win we're champions forever. We lose we never talk again and we've won I would do that. Us and Chegg? We play one epic game. We win, we're champions forever. We lose, we never talk again. And we've won. We should like in-house against like OTV or something,

but they're way better. Oh, we did. The shitters of OTV. There are no shitters. Who are the shitters? We could play versus Fear End. Yeah, that would... Hassan's ogre hand failing to grip the mouse.

God. I can't- I can't- I can't press- What a freak. Looked at him close up. The warts going on. Fucking shit. Weird freak. Yeah.

His big eye on his chest. Too much milk. I mean, look, that's the future of PSL. No, no, no, no. That's gross. The future of PSL is a 5v5 in-house. No, no, the second we're playing computer games, it's PSL's dead. No. Yeah. Real shit. It just evolves. No, no, no, no, no, no.

Connor, we yelled at Connor for this take. Connor eat-pan. Eat-pan. He was like, let's play Halo MCC at PSL and bring computers. I'm like eat garbage from a garbage. Alex messaged me and he's like I'm so glad you yelled at him. Oh why don't we just get in a big discord and fucking talk to each other online so we don't have to meet up. Alex says the worst thing we've ever done for PSL is make an awesome discord to talk to you because now no one needs to hang out in person because we all love talking in the discord to each other.

I don't think you're in a lot of discord servers. No, look, the last PSL, I'm just saying we don't have enough games. Then bring some. FIFA. What games would you add into the roster? I feel like that's the issue. PSL is the FPS console. I agree. I agree. But I don't know enough games. I don't think PSL needs more games.

I think PSL needs a format. It needs like a weekly leaderboard. We need like subcultures and certain team groupings that have a name and little fake logos we make and fun stuff like that. Right now what PSL is... And prizes, like we make a t-shirt you get if you win. You show up to PSL and you get a pizza that tastes like cardboard. That Nick buys for you. Thanks for nothing, pussy. Oh my god. He's the star of Load We Saw.

Every single week Jay sees that pizza and goes that shit looks fire, bro. Day's up. And then you get a 4v4 session that starts off pretty unbalanced and gets its way there as games go on and Then you get you know 30 minutes of tech support cuz Nick's gotta fucking figure out how to log in cuz he's the only guy trying to log in oh And the way you want your you because you need your blunt trauma thing and then while he's doing that and while he's doing that You know what else happens at PSL every week what? shark tank What I'm getting-

Oh, you're getting pitched? I'm getting pitched. You don't like getting pitched. I don't mind getting pitched. I don't even feel comfortable saying that bit without them here. I feel like they should say that bit. That bit? This was a full on pitch.

They're asking for $200,000 from me. So Alex has come up- Alex- Alex- Who was it? It was Alex, Jay, and... Who else was it? Who was there? We talked about this on the pod. Robin Mike's. There's another one.

There's another one. I shouldn't bring up the other one. Because the other one has legs. Jesse was there. Oh yeah, it does have legs. Because they pitched it to me the other night, and I'm like, this has legs. Oh yeah. It has legs.

We'll have Alex on, and we'll let him do the pitch for us. They got logos for all of them. They always have logos. They always have logos. They have no product. They have no product. They have a lot of branding. They have a lot of branding.

They're like yeah we want to make Throbbing Mike's which is an alcoholic drink that has creatine in it and we need 200k and I'm like okay what's that for? And they're like well you give us 200k we'll get you a product by February. And we need more branding. That's far away. And then he's like alright well I can do 100k and I get the branding done. We'll get you a product by February. That's far away. And then he's like, alright Well, I can do 100k and I get the branding done. I was like the product should come first Branding they have a branding forward strategy. So they liquid death. How brave of them

They're no product liquid liquid death of the product with good branding. They are only branding So they will show you how they're going to brand the product, but they don't actually have any of it. But the issue is it's not a generic enough product to let that happen because they're trying to make an innovative product while being branding for it. Yeah, they're a branding agency who needs a special product to work. This bit made me go back and watch Power Thirst. Any Power Thirst fans in the chat? Yeah, if anyone else is 36 listening, I'm sure you'll your eyes live I was like look this is like a dead type of video like that

These aren't really that like funny anymore, but there's parts of that video where I'm like, that's funny Yeah, it sounds like it sounds like fight milk and always sunny. No one talked like that until that That video came out came first Milk or power thirst fight milk was later on power thirst definitely was first really yeah I I would put 90% on it. That's a it's a tough call for me uh Pokey next week yeah, Pokey man you look you made on the yard Lee is this a little bit Why not leaky little weak she coming? She's in great knee pawn right now

We should pitch her without your your guidance. A product. We should try to get her to make a product. She might invest. Poke X the yard and it's like, I don't know, like little tech decks. Low key she could invest. A Poke main set of barbells. Barbells and Olympic weights. The Poke main get fit experience. Yeah, and like every fucking plate has her face on it.

Yeah, that'd be kind of cool. Yeah, I'm lifting, dude it's a whole, it's like a whole like offline TV. Maybe like a Pokimane scuff controller. That's kind of hard. Yeah. Remember one of the guys at the Valorant thing, was it the Brew Battles thing? One of the players, the pro players, so psyched to be Pokémane. Yeah.

He's like a young pro player who is like, can I get a picture? Oh, yeah. Of the people I have collabs with, she's the one that most people freak out about. She's a big deal. I think she's famous. She's famous, dude.

I'm coming to that conclusion. You're arriving there. I'm getting there. Because I think she's pretty damn, I think she is more famous than Barack J. Obama. Barack J. Obama. Barack.

That's not his middle initial. It's a different Barack. Then yeah, because I don't know that guy. Barack H is very famous. You guys ever seen his brother on Twitter? Yeah. Crazy. I wish I had an evil brother like that.

Like out there like constantly. He's just preying on his downfall. Yeah. He's probably pumped on the election. Yeah. I mean, he was pumped in 2016. Yeah. Yeah.

He's probably experiencing roller coaster emotions. How did that even happen? I wonder that too. Where do they diverge? like have such a diverse. It's a half brother Yeah, so I think just different they didn't race together You think if we were brothers you'd respect me more or less less for sure why less yeah, cuz I would know you Inside and out. Yeah, you know my my beautiful, hard-ass pick, though. Damn, that is a hard-ass pick. Wait, me and fake ass a snake.

Is that what it says? Yeah, fake ass a snake and then fake ass a snake when he was a nobody. Jesus, when he was a nobody. That's not fair. Everyone's a nobody at one point. Well, he knew him when he was a nobody. That's not fair. Everyone's a nobody at one point. Well, he knew him when he was a nobody. Hmm. You know, Eric, this is Malik.

It's horrible. They tried to kill your dad. Thank God they didn't succeed. He's alive and breathing all my prayers for your family. I will be voting for your dad in November. I need to say it's Malik. Yeah. Hey, it's me. It's sorry. Hey, it's me. That's how parents text Malik. Yeah. Hey, it's me. It's sorry. Hey, it's me. That's how parents text. Yeah.

Yeah. We're in that boomer age. Not me. Oh, I know. Were you signing off on text? No, we just do shit that young people don't do. That's true. We're, we're unk.

We're unk age. They, they're, they're, they're blue tag looking up shit. We're Googling shit still. What is blue tag? Oh, no. What is that? I don't know. That is. What is it, Jobin? This is an unsafe area. I know what it is.

It's like the blue text on like TikTok. That. Are you guys being dead ass? I'm being. What are you talking about? I'm not on. I'm not ashamed of this. I'm sorry for you. You've been giving me shit for years.

First off, nice print. Second off, it's when you go to TikTok and then there's like a blue thing in a text comment that you can click to look it up. Oh, with the little magnifying glass. Yeah. Yeah. OK.

Is it like a community note type shit? It's more like a bouncing text, like a hyperlink. The hyperlink. But it auto populates if you put in a very easily identifiable search term. I see. So someone would like put a horror video and then someone would write, wow, this is the Jonestown massacre. And sometimes people do it in hopes of being the blue text.

Oh, that's so interesting. And then you click it and then you learn about it's a market economy. Blue waffles. And then blue waffle would show up and then someone were probably being like, don't click the blue link. Dude, I saw one video it was like, I don't like to be too doomer about like zoomers are fringed out, like we've lost the idea of media or anything, but there was a video of three NPC streamers set up outside of McDonald's.

Just all doing their like different. And I was like, this is fucked up. That's beast. It's not beast. No, it's not. But we had QVC. QVC was just that's not the same. Oh, what's QVC? Wow. I don't know.

This is you upset. Really? You probably know. It's just like it was it was a channel devoted only to online shopping. They spoofed it in South Park. It's like they did have like a rotating thing. Oh, sure. Sure.

This one's for $49.99. We're gonna do a deal. $39.99. Mike Rowe used to do it. Yeah, there was a my mom used to do it. Yeah. My mom used to clean the house of this crazy lady who was really rich. She saw him got this huge inheritance. And she was like a hoarder.

We've done this section before. She had boxes and boxes and boxes at QVC. It was like... This is also Rot. You can say that they're both Rot. I'm not saying that the McDonald's people aren't rots and rots been around and always be around. Yes, we're just watching new new age rot being like this new rot is bad.

It's like this is just new rot. Now all the rots been bad. Let me ask you this. I don't think there's more rot. You don't think there's more rot. There's definitely more rot. I think there is more rot now simply because the means to produce the rot are more accessible.

That might be true, but maybe the percentage of rot hasn't increased. I also think there's like somewhat... I feel like there's a difference between something like that where the goal is to maximize how much money you make. Whereas like now it's to maximize attention. I feel like that's a different... I mean those MVC people are trying to maximize money. Yeah, they are very much like trying to cram in, because you get paid for every interaction. No, it's definitely for both.

But I think that like, I don't know, I feel like the internet has become more about like, you want to be famous, and that comes with the lifestyle that you want. But I think the attention thing is a little sicker, a little more twisted. So you think that the pursuit of capital is more acceptable than the pursuit of fame with or without it? Yeah.

I think so too. Yeah. I have always believed that because it's ethereal, right? They're both weird and kind of fucked, but I think the the fame and the the attention thing is a little bit sinister. Let me ask you this, was Jerry Springer rot? Yeah, he was slop, slop rot. That's like one of the first slops. But I think I look back on Jerry Springer in a fond way.

Well, yeah, because that was your slop. That was your rot. That was my slop. And so now I'm asking myself, are the kids now going to look at the McDonald's MP3 streamer who goes, no, yeehaw. They're going to look back at it is like that's so old and corny because I think you'd look back far enough away from miles where I was going to jump in be like looks like another galaxy whoa and there's also like levels to rock as I think a lot of people would look at like an average like IRL Twitch stream and be like,

wow, this is hello Rot. Yeah. And then you go to MPC. My bronze one gameplay could be Rot. Maybe. I remember I was seeing this girl, this is like a long time ago when Twitch wasn't really, it was like, I don't know, Twitch wasn't as big as it is now. And I told her about I was watching AGDQ,

I was watching speedrunning and I had to explain it. And she was like, hold on, people watch people play video games? Why would you watch someone do that? And I'm like, that's a hard question to answer you right now. Like you are not gonna accept any answer I give. I always think it's like, I always think that question is so easy to answer and like to any normie.

Because it's like, we watch, we don't play sports, we watch sports a lot because we want to see people who are way better than us at it do it. That's what video games are for. Yeah, but then they're still being streaming. I think that's hiding behind the real reason. No, but I think for that example, that's the exact reason. Sure, yeah, for AGDQ. For e-sports and stuff like that. I think most of streaming that's not it, but I think most of streaming it's You know Making the boring parts of your day a little less boring and also bugs bunny gets to talk to you sometimes and that feels really good

for your brain is important Shame Why what are you shaming him for and then God? What are you shaming him for? And then God? What are you pointing up for? Shame. Very often in the book club. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. We should read the book. Yeah, he doesn't look well. He actually has more. He has more of us an honorable discharge because one of the book club. I refused. Why? Because he had to play his normals because one of the book club members literally was finishing it on 3x like the minutes before we got on the call.

There's no- what are we doing? Which member? No, Narx. I'm gonna say- Look, I found myself- I did the math, I was like, alright, if I- I like reading the actual book, found myself, I did the math, and I was like, all right, I like reading the actual book, I don't like doing the audio book, but I was like, okay, if I wanna finish this book in time,

I have to do the audio book. And I did the math and I'm like, well, fuck, the amount of time I have, I don't wanna do this for fucking nine hours a day, or whatever. So I was like, I'll have to put it up the speed. And I was like, well, anything over two, I'm not following. Because it's already so sci-fi-y and kind of dense. So I was like- Two is crazy alone. So I was like, all right, over like two, I'm not following because it's already so sci-fi and kind of dense.

So I was like, too, is crazy alone. So I was like, all right, I'm going to try one point five. And I was doing that. I was just like, I'm not enjoying this. I'm not going to do it. So I don't want to read a book. I'm not enjoying the process at all. But who is the reaction?

I thought it out. I get out. You were. Did you write the books? I didn't care. I don't three X at one point five X. Very reasonable speed. You listen to the audiobook, though. And I don't care. I don't 3x, I 1.5x. Very reasonable speed. You listened to the audiobook though. And I wasn't there, and it wasn't him.

So no narcs, but... It might have been a woman. Seems like there's two remaining culprits. Might have been a whole woman. Anyway, we'll go to the primo. We're gonna talk more about women. And women's issues. And books. And books.

Will we? And men's issues. Which are more important. And men's rights we? It'll be educational. And men's issues in books. Which are more important. And men's rights. Because they're eroding. Because they're eroding away? Well, not anymore, because...

I'm gonna talk about docs. It's... yeah, okay. We'll see you in the primo. It's gonna get really ugly. Piece of shit.