The Yard - Ep. 175 - We Pitched Her a Million Dollar Idea... (ft. Pokimane)

Episode Date: November 20, 2024

This week, the boys are joined by Pokimane! they talk about their first time meeting Pokimane, their weirdest uber stories, and how a famous celebrity slid into Pokimanes DM's... Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I'm broken. You're broken for what? I've tried to shoot this, I think, eight times. You keep checking your phone. You keep checking your phone. You're watching a two-hour League of Legends VOD. Guys, no lie. You're watching a VOD review of your own VOD.

And I'm trying to send merch. I don't want to see BBC on that. I'm using AI. Guys, I'll keep it short. Guys, we have new merch. And I know. I know what you're thinking. I want more merch from you guys.

You won't make enough. You need it. So you need it. Aiden's wearing one. And we're going to put all these awesome, Archie, put all these awesome pictures, a carousel. Archie put up the AI tool that searches what dead people are wearing. Yeah. We got a new sweater. We brought the girls night t-shirt back because so many people asked for it. New color. In a new color way. Wait what color? Black. We have the black yard quarter zip

that some of you may already have if you met us at open sauce. Do I get some of this? No. Do you get any of this? No because you'd be on your phone you wouldn't know how to choose the clothes. I get some of this. Now you get any of this? No, because you'd be on your phone. You wouldn't know how to choose the clothes. Get a goat. Get a Portland lesbian. Yeah. And we have a waffle shirt, which Aiden fought for. So you let me know in the comments

that you feel about that one. I liked it in twenty twenty four. Yeah. Yeah, there's been some drama. There's been some arguing. This reads long enough. If you if you want to get the merch, you can. If you're a tier three patron sub, can access it early you get 25% off

Wait, if you buy it, and it's we'll have Pokey on the podcast If you buy it, we'll have Pokey on the podcast I promise If you buy it in the next 5 seconds, I promise we'll get it right And we'll ask you some crazy questions Let's get out Crazy question. No surprise here another woman Another woman. No name? Welcome to the show.

Did you get shocked? I just got shocked from that. Yeah, I did. That was impressive. Honestly, I came to do what I wanted to do. Gotta go. Yeah, that would be so funny. I like a guest who keeps it honest. Thank you.

Well, this might be the first person we've had on who's already done an episode on the set. Very recently too. Like, so recently. But girl version, so there will be a lot more talk of crap. I was on the garden, not the yard, so now I'm ready. Wait, was that... that was why all the beautiful flowers were on our set? Yeah. Ava reminded me of Minecraft. So now I'm ready. Wait, was that, is that, that was why all the beautiful flowers were on her set? Yeah! It reminded me of Minecraft.

I think we could serve more C-word than they all did. Say it. Say it. You coward. People who are serving C-word, say the C-word. Interesting. Interesting you choose not to say it this time. Guys, shall we all serve cunt today?

Yeah! Shit, it's like that Miranda Cosgrove interview where she's like, fuck. Guys, shall we all serve cunt today? Yeah! It's like that Miranda Cosgrove interview where she's like, fuck. No, that's actually so weird. Like I get scared of saying the word to him. Well, I was scared of having you on for a while. How are you dressed up, brother? What?

Yeah. Why are you wearing a cowboy tuxedo? God, someone to finally cut through his bullshit. You thought a girl coming meant there was a dance at some point. Sometimes I just dress like this. It's not like a thing. Sometimes? Yeah. Okay, do you honest to God want to know why I did this?

I would love to Ludwig Ombra in gaming. I'll tell you with full sincerity. I was sponsored by Emporio Armani. What? I was gonna say, I was gonna guess Emporio Armani. What? I was gonna say, I was gonna guess the clone you were wearing, because I could smell it when I walked in. Can you smell it? Yes.

Because I laid that shit on sick. I couldn't smell it when I first walked in and Lud wasn't here, went to the bathroom, came back. The whole place. Listen, for one, shit looked like a butt plug, not gonna lie to you. Number two, shit how I do it, the baby Hennessy video. That's what I thought it? The baby Hennessy video? That's what I thought it was when you pulled it out.

Baby Hennessy on me, and I drink that stronger with you. I'm gonna keep it real. Oh, I'll keep it real He smells really good. Oh, it does smell good. I got an ad. You're doing cologne shoots? It smells like lavender. Yuck. Guys, please. There you go. What? Sometimes it smell like vanilla. Wait, this is pretty good. Thanks. Wait, and you're sponsored by this? Yeah, so. As of today? As of today. What's it called? I'm an Armani guy. Armani? It's stronger with you. Armani gives you wings. Armani gives you wings. Yeah, you can also drink it, by the way. You're not sponsored on this podcast, so we're all gonna drink that cologne. I still am. Armani cologne, you can drink it. You can drink it and it's good for you. Wouldn't that be such a good ad though? Like the classic, ooh, I'm rinsing the camera up, perfume cologne ad, and then all of a sudden he's like spritz spritz, chugs it.

Yeah. Then just goes like full fucking Chad mode. Like I would like that. But they should make like a sour Emporio Armani. Like the candy spray. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So like double bits, the Ch. Yeah. Yeah, so like okay. It's the chesty to I learned a lot and you can eat it too. You can and you can eat it too. You're gonna want to eat me and you can

And then it makes you new and then you're really Yeah, but girls care to have you on for a while Because I thought this podcast might be too bit too crass Crass crass yeah cuz it's not gonna be a bit crass. Yeah Wait wait well the premium episode did get a little crap. It was just Ghost come okay from a ghost. We're not gonna talk about it Guys can I just get something out of the way, please? Yes, please. Of course.

I am not cut. No. I love hearing the last. You are kidding me. Hey, welcome. Welcome. Thank you. Welcome outside now. This is the cut side.

We never offered the information up. Welcome to this side. We have to do this. I hope to never be. I really hope to never be. I was going to say, then I listened to your podcast and my fears vanished. Because you're the crass one. Let's relax. It depends on the episode, but most of the time. You're the horny one 95% of the time.

Let's relax! What's going on in your podcast? She's horny now. It's okay to be horny down on the show. I think that's loving is different from horny. Sometimes they overlap. podcast I see when you stream with my girlfriend and they overlap She just tells it like it is that's the Queen's Queen People can put you in your place like this. I love this so much.

I feel like I really deserve a seat here, to be honest. I feel like it really just balances everything out. Oh, yeah. I go, shh. I go, woo. Yeah. Enough to be an idiot. And the thing is, I'm such a willy.

But I go, don't worry, your ad smells so good. Thank you. It smells so good. Get that banking. I appreciate that. Emporio Armani. Emporio Armani. Armani, it will get you.

Thank you, smell well good. Don't do that. Don't do that. Don't do that. What? Because it hurts me. It doesnio Armani. Armani, it will get you. You smell well good. Don't do that. Don't do that. Don't do that. What? Because it hurts me. It doesn't hurt you.

It hurts me. It does. They won't see this. Yes they will. No they won't even see it. Fine, bleep it out. Archie, our editor is British. Say something cool in British that happens to me.

Do you ever use the app Yuca to judge products to see how safe they are? When you scan that bottle, it gives it like a six out of 100. Okay, two more. Gives it like a six out of 100. What is Yuka? On Yuka. Let's talk about that real quick. That's what, you don't know about Yuka?

I don't know about Yuka. You go in, you go to a store, you scan any good. It could be like food, it could be sunscreen, and then it tells you the ingredients that are in the product, and then evaluates it on a scale of one to a hundred. I actually can go to zero. And if, like Armani does.

And like Armani might be. And then for example, like I'll scan a sunscreen and it'll be like, oh, this is 20 out of 100 because it has these chemicals that are banned in Europe that like give you cancer, don't buy this one. And then you scan other products that are like, maybe it might be like 90 out of 100, this is really, really good.

And it's super useful, especially if you wanna buy things like skin care. Is this the new age version of Googling the product plus Reddit? Basically, but more efficient. Yeah, yeah. And it's, I think it's even healthier. It's like going one step above.

Can I tell you guys the most random rabbit hole I went down? Yes. So what this app does that maybe Google wouldn't is it talks about like endocrine disruptors Which are things that kind of disrupt like your natural hormones, okay? I was watching this podcast long story short it talks about how the length I'm so glad I can be cross on this podcast. The length between a man's PP and his butthole

He's shortening Oh sorry, you said shortening?ole is shortening. Oh sorry. Oh sorry. It is shortening? It is shortening. Like evolutionarily? There's a crisis. It is shortening due to chemicals in the product that we are about to use.

And that's why RFK needs to be in charge. Wait, wait, what? Endorse public pee. Wait, wait, wait. Let me explain. Let me explain why this is important. It's not just about the length between the anus and your pee pee. Because I want a long gooch, but what else? No, no. Because this is typically a trait that is more likely seen in women.

And it's not about, oh, are men becoming more... Because we love that. But it's more so that if that length is shortened, your sperm count is also shortened by a lot. So it's actually like an evolutionary issue. Am I gonna have awesome breasts one day? Oh my God, maybe. Heck, you could have them tomorrow. That's a good idea.

Tomorrow's the doctor's. It's a goddamn free country. You can do it at home. This ain't so bad. I, look, I'm trying to measure my gooch. There's a trick us boys use where- Is there? For one, first you pull out your iPhone.

And you're either team bigger than iPhone Yeah, you're not you're not yeah. Oh my god. Then there's this one which is like usually say it's like the distance Yeah, but but I think maybe it's like like we need a good Was I was it's like part of my joking regimen Well because you love anime and Japanese culture. And right. Yeah, it's like that. Oh, that's pretty good. Yeah. But he's trying to he's trying to.

Dude, I was doing this. I'm not kidding. I worked at Bed Bath and Beyond in college. And one of my co-workers, Ashley, was she was coming around the corner. And I had just learned about this thing to do to estimate the size of your dick. And I'm like, I'm like doing it and looking at it. And she comes around the corner and she's like, I know what you were doing. Please, please.

You're like, just let me die, dude. That's painful. Oh my God. That's what it was painful for. I'm trying to draw a life-size sketch. Like, it's embarrassing. Yeah, it was really bad. And it was tiny, too.

You're like this. Yeah, I really worked on this. I had an idea while we were talking about products and stuff. Danimals drinkable sunscreen. Yo, let me get that's my time guys. Thank you so much. So good. Why the Danimals because they had Danimals drinkable.

You start when you drink it. Is that when it activates or do you rub it on yourself? No, you drink it. No, and it comes in. Oh wait, that's Joe. That's what I'm saying. Because it's annoying to like muck and it feels oily. But if you drink in this, I got a tiger on it. Sunscreen from the inside out? And it comes in... Oh wait, that's dope! That's what I'm saying! Because it's annoying to...

Like muck. And it feels oily, but if you drink it and it's like got a tiger on it with cool, like, you know, big eyeballs. And we could do a sweepstates where the winner gets to go hang out with Dylan and Cole Sprouse. That could be lit. Is that a Danimals? One of them DM'd me recently. No way! Which one?

We all know. I actually can't. Wait, wait. I'm terrible, I can't tell the difference between twins. That's crazy. They're not identical. I know, I know, but I just don't know them like that. Like, they're celebrity twins. One has a ponytail. Did they DM or did they slide? No, no, they just DMed and they invited me to like some movie premiere and I was like, this is so random.

That's so random. Not as like, can you come with me? I think it might have been a movie that they were in. Dude, she's in a different echelon than you. Oh, bro. You're not gay. You're just not a gay. Bro, she was a free guy. Don't get it like that.

She wasn't a free guy. You weren't. You're a free guy. You want to go bar for bar right now? Last night, last night. OK. I get a fucking DM from Rainbow. OK. No, I got one for DM from Rainbolt. Okay! No, I got one for you.

Oh, yesterday too? No, it was a week ago, bitch. I didn't get a DM. Two days ago I get a DM, Northern Lion says, how's the Peloton going? Okay! That's actually big. He's famous. I like Enel.

Rainbolt, five days ago, sends me two videos. One of Gibbons in Thailand, the other of Mu Dang. I love Muoodang! He sent me that too. I want to get a Moodang. Should I just have a Moodang? You get a boutique Moodang that can fit in your purse and stuff like that. That'd be fun.

That happened for sure. A lot of people got Moodangs. Yeah. Do you- The little Moodang? You know I said- I introduced everyone to Moodang. No one damn knew. And I said, pig me hippo. They all thought I was saying, Pick me hippo, which I feel like is a cruel thing.

A pick me hippo. I just heard pick me hippo. Yeah. You said it the first time. It's a cruel thing to say because it's just extraordinarily. Girls should be able to have hobbies. Wait, I actually have a DM to trump all the DMs, but it has to be bleeped out. OK, OK. But if you want to go for like Okay. But if you want to go bar for bar. You want to go bar for bar. I'll go bar for bar. Ban for ban please. I'll bleep mine out too. Try to top this one. Okay.

Oh! That's believable to me. Message? Message or slide? Slide. Oh! Yo! And just fascinating conversation to be honest. Really? Fascinating. Because part of me was like, what is someone that famous really like?

You know? Are they normal? I think so. Do you consider yourself like, far away? Very, bro. It's interesting. The most exciting thing about my life is like my bidet. Okay. Well first I've come to realize that

Famous people's lives are boring kind of they just do cool stuff sometimes and that's the stuff you see Because you can't do you feel like that is like you just can't go outside anymore like you can't Exist in like normal society without having your day constantly interrupted. A lot of things because people yearn for routine and schedule. They yearn for it like the mind's aiding. I do think that's kind of sad and it makes me wonder whether like you can't help

but kind of be mentally stuck at a certain age when you get that famous. You're that famous. Respectfully, real question. Are you that famous? I don't think I'm that famous. Are you? Respect, respectfully, real question. Are you that famous? I don't think I'm that famous, but I do think I have certain downsides that came from like being public. The extreme. So public for so long.

I have all the side effects and like everything is like this, but I'm not. No, I go to the grocery store. I go to the grocery store. That's the limousine. Have you guys ever seen, there's a special aisle for me. There's a video of Ronaldo from a few years ago. Ronaldo tries to go to a coffee shop and just drink a coffee. And Ronaldo literally cannot drink the coffee because of how many people are coming up to him, right?

That's to me like famous almost to like a problematic level Yeah, that's like a living deity level of fame though. But you're famous fan like you're like guys I'm as famous as all y'all like we're just a little Dummy shit, I heard you say cuz you know why I know that's not true because sometimes I put your face in a dumbass Thumbnail I'm just gonna start putting them in random episodes. Yeah, well guys if you just you know slide me a cut I'm okay with that All those people who are farming

Sliding you know we should picture uh-huh there's a product that our friends been working on I'd love they'd love to pitch to you. They have been dying to pitch to you Yeah, I think it's pretty it's better than Danimals drinkable sunscreen. I'll say that much. I think that's kind of a banger Well, I do too, but apparently my cohorts don't they don't want to drink it. Pocky. Do you like candy? Do I like? Question like every American Are you like are you like you? Some, some. She's not American. Are you like a... Thank you! I do...I want to say real quick.

I think Aiden and I have a special connection. Cause you're both Canadian? Canadian. Canadian and I? Believe it or not, Moroccan. Yeah. I believe it. He straightens his hair.

Hahaha. You don't know that about me. Everyday wakes up and heats that about me. Everyday wakes up and heats that shit up. I sat in your chair when we did the garden episode and everybody was like, that is so fitting personality wise. Oh. We're both just like the happy-go-lucky, loving, you know, we just love everyone.

I do an extrovert? If you know what I mean. Very. Really? Oh my god. You think I'm introverted? Uh, yeah. I was so excited to slide down that slide I went, very. Really? I'm an yapper. You think I'm introverted? Uh, yeah. I was so excited to slide down that slide. I went yippee. You did go yippee.

Introverts don't go yippee. It's real. It is real. You kind of have to teach them. Well, the difference between you and Aiden is that when I walk in this office every day we do the podcast. The difference between me and Aiden. Is that you having swerves on your head?

The one difference. The difference between our Aiden sisters. No, no, weirdly enough, exactly the same. But I walk into this office every day I see him and it's the worst time. It's the worst part of my day. Do you understand that? Because there's this idea that he's like, oh, I'm Aiden, I'm a happy old lucky guy. Oh, you're an Uber driver. I want to know about your life.

But he's actually evil and a person. He's an evil tormentor. Wait, you know what's crazy? She's't know about your life, but he's actually evil. And he's an evil tormentor. You know, it's crazy. Evil tormentor. She's low key Aiden Pyl than Ubers. Really? Oh, yeah. Yeah. To you about the Ubers. Yeah. But you're kind of chatty sometimes in Ubers, no? I love talking to Ubers, but I've had some tough moments

where they have not loved me back. Wait, what? Yeah. Well, one instance in particular that I was telling Ludd about the other day. What happened? Okay, so you know how there's different kinds of Ubers? Yep. And there's a certain type of Uber that's like an Uber Black, which is a bit more like a private car.

Well, I ordered one of those because I was finishing up a podcast with Lily, and I know this is going to go against my point if I'm totally not famous. But I prefer those cars because sometimes I go in the other Ubers and they're like, are you Pokeman? And they're driving me to my home.

And that's not ideal. And that's not ideal. That's not ideal. So when you're in a larger car, I kinda just be doing this. Look, we can pull the Google trends to stomp out the famous argument if you want, but. And I have a fake name in Uber,

so I'm like, you know, I'm trying to be safe. Anyway, so I call one of- Your name's John Williams? I'm like you know yeah yeah anyway so I can't John Williams weird you made that your music is incredible not dox me I will get it taken down okay anyway so I call an uber black which also tends to wait for you for allowed to wait up to 15 minutes thank

you very much it says that when it pulls up like you drive one bro to wait for you for like 10 to 15 minutes. You're allowed to wait up to 15 minutes. Thank you very much. It says that when it pulls up. It's one of the bricks. You look like you drive one, bro. Yeah, you're gonna finish the story. Put the over black in the bag, bro. Don't take a mona. Oh, don't take a mona, I just saw the G.

Oh, don't take a mona, grain brand. They're really bad for your feet, hurts. Not for my mom. How old were the kids who made those, you think? Three to six, continue. So anyways, I called a car and we're wrapping up the episode Who made those, you think? Three to six. Continue. Okay. So, anyways, I call the car, and, you know, we're wrapping up the episode,

and they're like, Frick, we forgot to film thumbnails. So I'm taking a bit extra, because I'm filming thumbnails, and I feel really bad, because I'm late to the Uber, and, you know, I'm like eight minutes into the 15-minute wait,

and I'm like, I'm so sorry, I'll be right out. Anyways, I finish, I go out, I go into the car, bro is pissed. Really? Physically pissed. I mean, you can tell when someone's energy is just like, I am not happy with you. Yeah, it permeates.

Yes, it does. Like the aura is red. It's actually the same energy that when Ludwig is fucking late every single day of the podcast. Oh, I felt that off of you too. Right, today, right? And interestingly enough, when he comes in late, no energy.

He's so happy. He's aura's yellow. He's like, no! When you're going to hold your phone and be like, four? Four's too high. You gotta go like, three? I don't bring that energy here.

Can we talk about you being like... We'll have a section where we reprimand him. Please. We've done it a lot over the years. We will break your legs. So this guy's pissed off in the Uber. Yes. So I walk in, he's giving me kind of the cold shoulder.

I sit and he goes, do you not respect people's time? Oh, I've said that to him. I mean, he fried your ass up. Are you my Uber driver? You just start crying? No, I initially I feel really bad. I'm like, oh, I'm so sorry You know like I got this kind of car because usually it has to wait He's like even then like do you think the world revolves around?

Older guy he starts driving. I kid you not, it feels like, if it was my dad reprimanding me for the entire like 25 minute ride, but also he's not my dad and I'm paying him. Wait, he kept shitting on you? Yeah. What? God.

Yeah, cause at a certain point you should stop. Even if someone's late you should have stop. Wow, this is your house? Well, what if they keep doing it? Well, yeah, what if they keep doing it? What if they do it again? To be fair, this was my first time meeting this guy. Yeah, no, that makes sense. And I would say the most productive thing is to move on. Well, but what if they have,

what if you pick them up again? Oh, would that solve it? Would that go back in time and fix it? No! You know what, someone is maybe arriving on time. What if Pokeman had told the driver that her butt will be in the seat at 12 p.m.? Her said that's what's in the seats have to be here at 12 p.m.

And then it wasn't in the seat. Anyway, so he's kind of lalala. And initially I was I was trying to be nice because I'm like, oh, this must be some kind of misunderstanding. I really did not mean to come across like that. And. I halfway through the car, I get pissed because I'm like, this is character defamation. I literally, I start telling him, check my Uber rating.

I'm like a 4.9 with like 2K rides. I'm a good man, sir. I like to be very respectful towards all my drivers. I try to be as kind as I can. Like it is absolutely not a scenario where I like baseline disrespect my Uber drivers or Lyft drivers. Like, why would that be the case? They're doing me a service and there should be mutual respect there for that.

Anyways, here's the cherry on top. We're nearing the end of the ride. He starts saying the least you could have done was let me know that you'd be late. And I go, I did. I messaged you.aged you he was like no you didn't message and you didn't call the group chat and then you find where, no. No. And then you scroll up in the group chat, and then you find where you said the exact time, and then you reply to it.

And it freezes like death note. Oh, my god. What was my last message? Slime camps the group chat. Slime is not this Uber driver. Is that right? Yesterday. Yesterday?

Yesterday, you were camping that group chat, eh? Sometimes. Sometimes. So what does he say to that? So I say, actually, I show him the logs. I'm like, look, I messaged you and I said, sorry, I will be right there. He 180s. You gagged.

180s. What a victory. I did gag him. I did gag him. Wait, that's actually huge that they don't double down. Maybe he's gay then. Here's the best part. So we're like, you know, we're like three, five minutes away from my place and he, his

mood just like, all of a sudden he feels guilty. He feels bad. He's like, you know, I've just been shitting on this girl for 15 minutes. That's crazy, man. Wrongfully so. And he's like, oh, I didn't know. Ghost quiet. You can tell he's. And in the back of my mind, I'm like, I never do this.

I give every single Uber or Lyft driver, I kid you not, five stars. And I was like, I'm gonna dock him one star. Wait, wait, wait, wait, unless he apologizes. Yeah. Do you have anything you wanna say before I get out of the car? Me still opening the door? We pull up to the place, the door opens,

he goes, I'm sorry young lady, it's been a long day. You know, I've had some very mean, like, rider or passengers. And I was like, it's okay, have a good night. And I gave him five stars. Wow. So he dodged the executioner's blade. Yep. And then did help, and then did, driver did not arrive.

You charge back. You charge back. You start a new account, John Williams 2. Yeah. So I mean some Uber drivers awesome. Sometimes you get a little hurtful and then you solve it. You Uber everywhere. Hell yeah.

I've been thinking of getting my license again just for content to be honest. I got it. It expired. I'm like, should I get it? Do you know how to get a car? It expired? No. Damn. You should get expired. I'm like, should I get it again? Do you know how to car? It expired? No.

Damn. You should get it. How long did it last? It was a Canadian G1? Or G2? No, G2? Or wait, it might be different by province, because I don't think BC has G's. You're from Canada?

Well anyways, in Canada it's like different lengths. They don't have the fucking letter. Whatever. So you should get your license. It was like four or five years. Get your license, get some Lambo, start whipping it, start barking that John. Yeah, start barking that. And then run over Ludd.

Okay. That's a cutie joke, sorry. I thought it was a Lily joke. A lot of people were running me over, I guess. Both. Lily and I both seemingly joked about running over Ludd. Separate instances of Ludd. By my recollection, by my recollection, there were two people in the car that hit him.

A lot of people wouldn't want to kill Ludwig. What do you think that is? I think they fear him. Why do people want to kill Ludwig? What do you think that is? I think they fear me. I think they fear me because of what I can do to them. I think you'll like it if people fear you. Oh my God, I threw it in my mouth. That was it. I didn't like that.

I have a murderous intent. With our friend group, we don't threaten to run over Ludwig. We threaten to drive into buildings ourselves. Yeah. To get his attention, to get him to schedule things. Oh my god, are you guys that neglected? Oh my god. Thank you! Do you need like maybe like three awesome friends who also work for you?

Yes! Do I ever! We work so hard. We work tirelessly. And he doesn't, and he doesn't get... No, no, no, that's fair. Well, if we're doing that. Yeah, Zipper says four. I mean, if I did that, my kind of friends are doesn't, okay. Yeah. No, no, no, that's fair. Well, if we're doing that. Yeah, Zipper says four.

I mean, if I did that, my kind of friends would be just like, come catch it. Yeah, we did start doing that. We do like that one. Oh, okay. That's the evolution. Wait, you never pitched your idea. Well, first, before I pitched the idea,

I wanted to say, I was driving to LAX two days ago. And so the fast lane on the left, there's a guy going around like 90 to 95 and a 60 on the freeway right next to the airport. Bad bitch. And I'm in the second lane, and I'm merging over to the left is a guy going around like 90 to 95 and a 60 on the freeway right next to the airport. And I'm in the second lane and I'm merging over to the left lane and he is going from the second lane to the first lane going 90. So I merge over and I cut him off but I'm like there's no way I would have known he was going that fast. So I cut him off and he like honks the horn and he just keeps honking the horn. He's holding on to it behind me and I'm just

like oh it's crazy I cut him off whatever. He then drives next to me and drives my speed. And I'm not kidding. He holds his middle finger out the car for like 10 minutes. Like he just follows me until we eventually have to go on different freeways. And I'm like driving, like I'm doing the thing where I'm like, I don't see him, but I obviously see him. I'm just like, dude, what's wrong with you?

And he's just doing this. I'm just like, dude, what's wrong with you? And he's still holding it out. And he's just doing this. He's just laying on the horn, and he does that for like 10 until we finally. Have you guys seen the show Beef? No. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. It's exactly that.

The whole premise is like two people get into like a road rage kind of incident, and then just stalk each other for weeks on end. He shows up to our house. I've been upset lately. Why? It's because every time I look over at Aiden and he has that disgusting attempt,

patchwork adolescent facial hair that honestly looks... It looks bad, but in a way that makes me, like, angry. Like if you put, like, monster in a chia pet, like, just all that could grow. Aiden, why don't you get rid of it? Rid of it, Ludwig? I don't have a shaver. You don't have a shaver? I don't have anything to do it with.

This is a fine excuse. Honestly, it's a fine excuse. I've been searching for a blade suitable for my jawline. I'm gonna shut you up for the rest of your life and do it with my hands. Because I'm gonna, with my hands, introduce to you the manscaped newest innovation the Chairman Pro electric foil shaver. Now you're a big fan of Chairman Mao this is similar because it comes with a very close smooth shave. It's got flex adjust technology just like he did to those birds when he made them made everyone kill all the birds. He adjusted the amount of them. He adjusted the amount of birds. I know what you're thinking.

I can't even find the charger. I always lose the chargers. I always lose mine, but it's USBC, Aiden. And yes, it's still waterproof. So you little gooner, I know you like to take stuff into the shower, all sorts of toys and such. You can use it anywhere you want. We know what you do into the toilet from a weird angle.

All right, anyway. Well, if you want to take the great leap forward and get the Chairman Pro today and experience a shave that is as smooth as you deserve, you can get 20% off plus free shipping with the code THEYARD at manscaped.com. Vanity code, I love that. One more time. That's 20% off plus free shipping with the code THEYARD at manscaped.com.

You know, in Communist China, many don't have yards. Because they use metrics. It's us in Soviet Russia, as Manscapes you. Anyway, let's go back to the episode with someone who probably has never used this product. Because they use them in metrics. It's us in Soviet Russia as man escapes you. Anyway, let's go back to the episode with someone who probably has never used this product. I'm not gonna lie, Pokimane. You watched it? I did this.

I did this once. Oh yeah, he did do this once. Dude, a guy... Someone who pissed you off on the road? So, I was driving back... Let's be careful with the crimes we admit to on a public show. I was driving back to California. It was a two lane highway.

And this guy is in a Jaguar. It's white. I remember it very clearly. License plate CMY. Well, the license plate bracket had a doctor's office number for Glendale, I believe, doctor's office. Right. And we're doxing him and killing him.

The guy's basically going way too fast on a two lane highway on the left lane. He gets on my ass. I'm like, this is annoying. I get over so he goes and he just blows past me. I'm in a car that doesn't go that fast, but I just start gunning it because I get really mad. And I'm just following him and I'm following him. And then I see this number on the license plate bracket. So I call it and it's a doctor's office.

And I left a message and I was like, you're driving too fast. You shouldn't drive as fast as you're driving because it's dangerous. And then I followed him for like 10 miles. And then 10 miles east. This is bad. You said a lot of insane shit on this show. This is top three. And then and then you guys. and then he gets off an exit, but I followed him off the exit.

So the tone of your voice right there, this is not based. This is not based. Wait, let's wait and see how it ends. It might be based. Imagine they get out of the car, they kiss, hug, make Yeah, and then he becomes a patient at the guy's doctor's office Yeah, and then he's measuring my gooch and being like I'm sorry. It's just too your sperm count is too low It's so low You can never have a child It could be a reason why

I'm not joking Wait so if we get off we got off the exit and then he turns into a gas station And I just missed the turn and I say alright GG, and I He out fucking maneuvers you GG what was the end game? He pulled into a mall. Yeah, he pulled into a mall. I can't see him anymore. I think the end game is slime sits him down like a Twitter DM, and he goes,

why were you driving so fast? I want to be driving that fast. I wanted to do that. Did you think that was a good speed to go? I will say this was this is very it's like days after my dad died. So I was really emotional. I was pretty emotional. You don't have to hold my hand. It's OK.

I appreciate it. Thank you. I really like holding hands. Did you guys know it's proven to really like lower your sadness hormones? Oh, yeah. Testosterone. I'm doing my QC exercise. I used to always ask to hold people's hands. And I was like In high school, I used to always ask to hold people's hands and I was like, why does this make me feel so nice?

You didn't have 80 boys who liked you or anything? Well, it was typically cool To be fair, it also wasn't like that in high school, you know? It wasn't like that Were you not? Come on! No, I was like, um, I was very like nerdy student council, yippee! Were you like mid-fragging in high school mid-fragging?

GPA or do you have that in Canada? Oh, I had like a 93 percent average how's that? What does that mean? 100 I think we can figure out You know when someone says like my SATs were this and I'm like that's a big number on the fuck that means No, she said it was like, you know when someone says like my SATs were this and I'm like, that's a big number I don't know what the fuck that means It was pretty good. Yeah, it was past whatever admission you need to probably It's an A- I'm your dad

It's an A- It's an A- A- A- A- 93 is an A- It's an A- Oh, not in Canada

Okay, I get kind of confused in America GPAs does 4.0 mean you never get a question wrong? You always have A's. Kind of. No, no, no, no. You have A's, you have straight A's, which usually means that you've scored above 93 on everything. Yeah, 94.

And you never had a class that dipped below that. Also in high school, at least here, sometimes teachers just decide your grade. It's not really related to how you perform. It's like in high school, at least here, like sometimes teachers just decide you're great. Like it's not really related to how you perform. It's like, if you're a really good student and you generally do well, and you mess up on one test, some teachers will just kill you.

Sometimes you can cheat it. Well, you can cheat it. There's beggars for sure. In my school, there's like extra credit 80s. I literally passed high school because that teacher liked me. I failed a task. I failed a whole class.

That's kind of dope. And he was like, I'm giving you a C because I think you shouldn't have done this bad. I'd be that kind of teacher. My math teacher homied me. I would have failed high school. Really? Yeah, I smoked a lot of weed. I played a lot of Nintendo DS. How much?

Enough. I love Nintendo DS what games. I played Pokemon in class. I love weed. What's strange? It was when Diamond and Pearl came out. Oh, best era of my life, I think. How am I supposed to live my damn life in this stupid school full of junk food? Understandable.

So he homied me and he's probably dead now because he was old. I think he's probably fine. He's dead, by bad. What was your first video game? Um... Like ever. It was maybe some Pokemon or Zelda game. Actually Diamond and Pearl, I remember specifically I wanted It's So Bad and I was like, Dad, can you please buy me this DS game?

Please? And my dad is so cute. He was like, I'll buy you the DS game if you bike all the way to the Walmart with me in back. Really? That's good. Yeah, so cute. So we biked all the way there. It's a hundred miles. It wasn't crazy. Just a wheezing.

You know, good exercise. Threw up twice. He's like, how bad do you want to go back? Now, I'm going back. So you like candy. Wait, wait, before we get into the candy It's blue balling I like this, I like this, I like that we have the whole Guys, we're like a third into the episode

I haven't even gotten to freaking camera check Like I might look cookie beans You don't look cookie beans There's literally seven angles I didn't get to do a cookie beans check Why would you say that? I did a cookie beans check Cuz I know how I look Cuz usually they, are at the garden they put up all the cameras and then they

That's what Miranda used to say in Lizzie McGuire. You look are you kooka bananas? I know that's me. I can't do it I checked it myself. You look great. Oh my god. Thank you. You don't look cookie beans. It's good Now do you like do you like candy? Candy I fucking hate candy. Okay I like some candy. Okay, what kind of candy you like candy? Candy. I fucking hate candy. Okay. This is a rough pitch. I'm kidding. I like some candy. Okay, what kind of candy do you like? Your favorite candy. Is it sour candy?

Reese's. So good. Maybe like... Sour candy. No, I was gonna say sour candy. No, I'm not kidding. I don't like the really really hard really sweet candies. I either like chocolate or like kinda sour. Well, kinda sour.

We're looking for seed money for a project called The Sour Olympics. Buh-bye! Say more, say more. So it comes with three candies. Bronze, silver, and gold. Bronze, silver, gold. And they are increasingly more sour candies.

Oh, no. Are you able to do it? It's the sour Olympics challenge. And you only they only release every four years and they go to a different country every time they release. Yeah. Yeah. One of the packages is Arabic. And so if you do the Swedish one, it'll be made by Aiden's white commune. And it will be filled with black licorice. Yeah. Yeah.

And it'll actually hurt to eat. Well, the beauty, they all hurt. They leave an awesome headache behind. This reminds me, do you guys want to know what I was going to bring you today? What? I was actually going to prank you guys. But then I was like, maybe not the first episode. Have you guys seen that pizza that you buy or get delivered and it looks like she just found out Domino's Looks like an inconspicuous delicious Domino's pizza, but in reality one of the slices is the spiciest thing you'll ever have in your fucking life.

Like you know those spice-o-meter things, the hot, the caliente, pepper, whatever the hell. I don't know the names. The Scoville. Yeah, just one of them is spicy as hell. I like that. I'm like, oh my god, I'm gonna come in like yippee pizza. Wait, from where? Where do you order it? And someone is gonna have the worst time ever and I'm just gonna go hee hee hee.

It's just Little Caesars's they just fuck up every time I don't know if they get it delivered here. I had it in Texas. It's like a Tuscan Bogey, I'll keep it short. We want we want three million dollars That gets you the branding and that gets you the branding done We also accept crypto. Crypto's fine. Crypto's fine. Are you in the crypto space?

I'm not the one to hit up for that, no. So three million, you get all branding. I'm a crypto father. I hated the sentence that came out. Are any of you guys in crypto? No, I'm not this guy. Big Monero guy. Monero?

I only use it to buy heroin, which is mostly like every week They didn't bought an NFT and you should know he bought an apartment because he thought it looked about it He bought you an FTP apartment. Yeah, he wants a little No, no you say it with an air with an air 500 on black you guys would all be sitting here jealous as hell if it worked out okay it's sometimes an empty shit does let me tell you one thing imagine we are all obsessed with meta living in the fucking metaverse I'm gonna be honest I'll keep you a condo worth seven million if I if it was worth seven million dollars. They would still make fun of me

Darien made 200k off a rock Yeah, yeah, no it was more More was a lot you made a lot. No the first rock was 200k. What are you talking about? Oh, yeah, yeah, he bought a rock caveman having their first conversation Do you remember who we went to Italy with? One of the guys? Yeah, yeah, yeah. The guy who gave us psilocybin, he was rich and he was traveling the world

and it's because he made a bunch of money off NFTs, specifically a rock. Rock NFT? A rock NFT. That's kind of dope actually. I feel like once I had the opportunity to get into crypto and NFT, I'm like, it's already too late. Why don't we make a fucking coin together? Once everybody's tweeting about it, it's too late. It's all sc. It's all scams. It's not those just like quintuple. No guys

There's no there's all you can always start a rug and that's what we're doing today here on the yard Thank you so much for watching. Please invest in our pokecoin Gooch coin. Gooch coin. The coin's always decreasing in value. It decreases in value forever until it doesn't. Until it doesn't. Until it doesn't.

And whoever the last gooch to live gets all the money. What do you think of my other idea? Well, that wasn't my idea, but are you going to give us money for that, by the way? I'll invest maybe like a thousand dollars. Can you say I am Pokimane and I endorse Sour Olympics? Can I try first? Please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, Get all the branding done. We'll give you your own flavor. No ownership, but exposure. Moroccan mint. To what?

Oh, I like that. Sour Olympics. There we go. Moroccan mint. Moroccan mint Canadian... Come on. Stop, stop right there. Stop right there.

You're always making sure you shouldn't say it. Sometimes we shouldn't say it. I was thinking of a word. Canadian co. See, sometimes we shouldn't say it. Do I speak French better than you, Low-key? No, je pense pas, vas- I suppose. Oh my god. She might I'm not even fucking around. Her accent's beat. I'm not even

We both say the same sentence Let you guys decide and let the the viewers decide in the comments. Can we pick what the English translation is? Sure. Maybe one of you want to know the word. Yeah, sure, sure, sure, smart. Alright, we're gonna say, we're gonna say... In French, I'm Pokimane and I endorse the song.

In French! We're gonna say... Lot also says... Honey, uh, honey, I bought a bunch of poop from the grocery store. Okay. So Ludwig first. Me first? Yeah. How about you go first? Why don't you go first?

I just think it'd be better if you go first. Well he said you should go first, but now you're elected. The judges want you to go first, you go first I just think it'd be better if you go first he said you should go first and now you're elected you go first so first now okay okay just it's a French I like it all French accent right the good the one you consider good Why is he a DJ? Sherry, just shut the caca out of my desire Sherry, just shut the caca out of my desire DJ Poopy Paz Sherry, I got all the poop that they have in the store Sherry, I got all the poop that they have in the store

Big music Yay You need to go throw up How about you fucking try it Dude, just say it normal That was poopy You guys would know Oh, yeah, how about you fucking try it? Dude, give me your real one. Just say it normal. Just do it like- That was- Oh, oh, you guys would know!

We should know! He's lashing out. I'm like, I'm gonna go push you in the- You would never, you would never, ever say that to your mom on the phone. I would, I would call my mom. I'd be like, my mom, She-Ali, excuse-you-veux-quelque chose un magasin. You can't say that to your mom.

For starters, that's not even the sentence. The sentence was Mon amour J'suis allé au magasin Et j'ai acheté du caca Bro, it's like I'm listening to- I didn't shit my pants y'all. It's dead ass like I'm listening to Muzzy. Isn't that good?

If Muzzy talked like you just talked, we'd be in a fuck spot right now. J'ma pelle Muzzy Fuck later. I mean, I heard sounded better. Yeah, well, I'll let the fucking people decide. Okay. Not three fucking white guys who can't speak a second language. You're from Tupac, I'm situ essay un petit troupe.

Wait, have you guys seen that girl on YouTube who does like ASMR, but really silly shit like as Lord Farquaad? You're talking to the French girl who says the TikTok challenge. She did a French one. She sounded exactly like Ludwig. Bleghaw! Amazing. Amazing. I'm flattered.

You are from Quebec? So when I first when we first immigrated from Morocco to Canada, we lived in Quebec for like a year or two years, and then we moved to Ontario. But French is my first language, and I love at the grown age of 28 years old to still use it as the excuse anytime I misspeak. We're the only two the same age. I'm ESL. I am ESL. We're the only two the same age. We're the same age? How old are you guys?

Aidan's 30. 28. Ludwig's 30.. Ludwig's 30. I'm 30. I'm 27. How old do you think he is? Him? Yeah, as a man in this world. And don't shoot low to be nice. Can I just say, Simon and I were messaging last night, and I said, oh my God, I'm pulling up with the curls out.

And he goes, me too me too twin bestie. I Pull up today. Mm-hmm. He's bald You know what one day I had to pull up and see that too I made you who you are now now now po, now, Pokey man, What the hell do you think I am? I don't have a lot. I don't have a lot, but I certainly can't work hard. Do you want a bit response or do you want an honest response? Honest response.

Be honest. Honest as God is. Honest response? Your skin is great. I would give you 28 to 32 Ranges that So she means 32 to 34 but I will say like sometimes your your demeanor and How jaded you feel at times?

It's giving 58 How jaded you feel at times? It's giving 58. You're not an old man's soul. I'm not an old man's soul! I feel like you've experienced a lot. When I was playing Nintendo, like Nintendo DS, Nintendo Dogs, when I was playing Nintendo Dogs, you were playing Nintendo Dogs, but you were really high.

I feel like you've experienced more. You never smoked that good shit. I never chief that shit. I'm really not a smoker. No, you never chief that shit. You never chief that shit. That Chiba. Can you do that? You take the Roach.

They are going to talk about drugs here. Pokey gave up smoke like Snoop did in French. Say I will take the Roach. I'd Wu-Tang the Roach is impossible. Je suis Pokeman et j'ai Wu-Tang le Roach. Le Roach, le Roach. Le Roach, oui. That makes sense, because on your podcast, Lily's the druggy.

She really is, and she just won't quit. Yeah. What's Lily doing? Wait, can we talk about the podcast real quick? Please. Yeah. Would you guys be open to coming on the show? And I make you all sit in one little chair because we were thinking about guests. And I was like, yeah, we could have like individuals. It would be so much funnier if we just forced you all into a crammed space Like the cowardly kids from down the lane. Yes, and we're all sexy

Like you all come out of a little car like clowns and it's just like okay I would love nothing more to sit on a in slap for two hours Oh my god, are we stacked on each other? So there's an order here Ludwig's obviously strong the bottom Yeah, we actually is our bottom. I actually had to figure this out We did a Christmas card. We did a Christmas card photo shoot together. He doesn't give bottom, he takes bottom. He's strong enough for the bottom. We have photographic evidence of you being the bottom.

Not giving, he's the strongest. Giving? The generous bottom. Can we go back to the strength the bottoms have? A powerful bottom. They generated an enormous amount of power. An enormous amount. An important amount of power.

That's an answer. Fair enough. I think that is a horrible idea, but I will do it. Really? I think six people is too much. What if we're oiled up? What if we're butt-ass? And we're oiled. I have one request. Like naked? Yeah. Then it would be harder to stack. No, we would fit into each other.

Jesus Christ. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Oh, gay sex with a friend is a bad thing though. We'd be closer. It's like legos from the floor. It's like legos but your butts. What are you fucking talking about? We get all oiled up, we get a little crazy. Where are you getting them all?

Are we like Moodang or Aiden? They play Jenga with us. We're your Jenga pieces, love it. The Moodang episode. Yeah, we're all oiled up. Buttass. And a little gray. You used to get buttass with us.

Oh, he doesn't get buttass with us anymore? No, he hasn't gotten buttass in forever. I got buttass with you two weeks ago with your 19 year old friend, Derek. You can't keep saying he's 19 years old. It's weird when you say he's 19 years old. I turned 20 recently. Derek is older than me. Derek's 19, he's a 19 year old friend.

He goes to WeeSpa with me. Aiden is like crazy. I love WeeSpa. Is WeeSpa awesome? It is. Wait, okay, are you ever nervous about going to WeeSpa? I'm never nervous about getting naked around people that oh, oh. If they recognize you, no?

Someone recognized me and I was in the cold so my peels are up. You just put the fear in her head. I just be okay. I mean, she must've thought of it, no? Fair enough, fair enough. I feel like I'm more comfortable going to bath houses in foreign countries, that's why. It's like nobody will fuck with me.

I have a hypothesis. I wanna see if you support this. I was thinking about this and I was doing like a little survey of the friends that have gone to WeSpa over time. And I, of the friends, because some people aren't comfortable with going. They don't want to go be naked around their friends. I get it.

I don't. But I'm, I'm chill with it. And I've noticed a theme that anybody who's not American seems more likely to be comfortable with it. And anybody who is American seems particularly uncomfortable with it. I think that's completely factual. It makes me sad because when you go to Europe or when I speak to my European friends,

they're just like, let's all get naked and have fun. Who cares? A body is a body. Nips out, yippee. Yeah. I don't know why in America we're so, uh. Maybe Aiden, it's because one time you pissed

on the floor as a joke. You think? Did you? No, I think it's our Christianity. Yeah. It's, you think you think- I mean, to be honest, I haven't watched enough of the yard to like have these kinds

of understandings of you guys. So when I hear Aiden pissing on the floor, I'm like, that's not giving Aiden and my mom a hug. It's confusing and it doesn't seem like me, does it? That's part of his appeal. And it's because Pokey, he made that up. Dude, that's crazy. There's evidence.

He is right. That's the thing, you know, I have an affinity towards Aiden because we sat in the same chair So I believe that he sends me pictures of his penis for fun Oh hi! Me! The victims! Let's get real and honest. Is this harassment in the workplace? The victim, we won. I think that picture was hilarious. Was it? He's laughing.

It was. It was. It's a great photo. Yeah, I could draw that picture from memory these days. Guys, this morning I woke up. I was in my bed, my Helix sleep bed that they sent me. And I was just thinking, goddamn, it feels good to have a Helix sleep mattress. Dude, do you see the picture of him? You see the picture of him?

I walk in here after taking a huge dump and he's showing them a picture of him. Of my juicy ass. He thought you were a breathtaking woman and he was afraid to comment. I thought it was your girlfriend. I'm like, why are you showing me this? It's cuz you look so uncomfortable

And when he found out it was you he started talking about you and you saying he would do irreparable things to you I was talking about how ghostly I would make it Don't you thought it was my girlfriend you wouldn't why would you? Yeah, okay anyway Well he didn't make those comments today. No I didn't make those comments until they... No I was just like, oh that's a good one. Anyway, Helix has a sleep quiz to find your perfect mattress that you can lay down with your cake at. Look, I'm usually a skeptic of like, do these quizzes work? I took the quiz and then they sent me that mattress and I liked it a lot. It was the perfect mattress. Why would you not want more information? Exactly.

Is information scary to you? Are you a liberal? What are the sleep zones? I think it made your ass look better. Yeah, it did the matter it's probably the memory foam and the cooling features makes it Suckle and tight. Mmm. So it's a temperature controlled ass. Wait, you tell me if it gets hot in there It gets even bigger. That's right. It's actually a little flat here. That's right, Tyler So if you want if you want cake like Nick apparently has or you just want a comfy night's sleep That makes a lot of sense, go to helixsleep.com slash the yard

to get 25% off site-wide. Plus two free dream pillows with any mattress purchase or free bedding bundle. That's two dream pillows, sheet set, and mattress protector with any Lux or Elite mattress order. Guys, if you need a mattress, you might as well get a Helix Sleep Mattress. Thank you very much for sponsoring us.

Use code the yard. Nick. Pokeman, let's change the subject. I'm sorry, Pokeman. I think I wrote a list of things that I wanted to talk to you guys about. So I just want to double check in. Well, I got one. You, Lily or Michael, you have to shoot one in the head. Which one do you shoot? Myself.

Good answer. Good answer. Good answer. They need to stay together forever. And if they don't, I will be dating Lily Peachute, which is also fine. I respect that. Thank you so much. Shoot Lily in the back of the skull. Oh, you know what I was gonna say?

Mm-hmm. Just realize what you said. Speaking of Lily and the podcast, love them so much. Now that I have a podcast, I realize how much freaking work it is, so I really wanna commend you guys on running this thing for so long. I know. Dude, this joke. You know what, a round of applause to commend you guys on running this thing for so long.

You know what? A round of applause for us. And a round of applause for all of us. And all of us who do equal amounts of work on this show. And I'd like to not commend Lud for not showing up on time all the time. If you really break down the hours, we really don't even get paid that much. That's crazy. It's true. If you split it up, you get paid that much. That's crazy. It's true. If you split it up.

If you look at the ratio of time in to money out for each of us. For each of us. Why did you decide to do one? You were buying our shit huh? Just say it. I was buying your shit. Let's go! I checked the Patreon. I said oh!

Oh my gosh, girlies. Honestly. OK. So at some point, like two years ago, I woke up and I was like, I cannot stream six to eight hours every day for the rest of my life. Love it. But at some point, 10 years in, you're like, I'm going to try something new, though I still love to stream. Do it like two, three times a week. I was like, let's explore other mediumss podcasting was one of those mediums did a solo

podcast realized oh my god that's just impossible yeah I can talk but I can't talk that much only Rob Dyrdek can handle that smoke yeah it's a lot only Rob only Rob solo podcast he does 20 minute episodes on businesses Is that what he does? Yeah, it's crazy Every once in a while we do if someone's like late to an episode we punish them by making them do one alone A whole episode? They do a whole episode by themselves So it's like

Oh the premium Just an hour I had to do this Yeah Aiden had to do this I was late to an important episode He started bawling his eyes out Dude you cried at the end I didn't cry then

I wanna watch He talked himself into tears by himself. It's our most watched episode on Patreon. Left to your own devices you will just simply cry. Yeah. Who doesn't? I'll let it out. If you're alone long enough. Let me know if you watch because I'll put your picture on our website. Proud subscriber of the Sour Olympics. What's your highest tier? Oh the fuck tier. Technically we have a 69 dollar tier. That's kind of a joke tier.

Okay. But the actual highest tier is 25. I thought a joke would be do it. Okay. It's a joke in the sense that you don't really, you don't get anything for sure. Except for the secret stuff. Okay listen listen listen. If this episode gets 20k likes, I will $69 sub and

I'll watch the crying episode. Oh, that sentence was almost crazy. Annual investment sour, finished by sentence Olympics. I've never heard of it. Okay. $1. I will say, I think you should move from three levels in the sour thing to five and then I'd love to try it. But Poki, there's three medals. Yeah. Sorry, this is it. But Pokey, there's three medals. Yeah. Sorry, this is it. I'm crossing my arms on this one.

Oh, yeah. Humph. Wait, I swear you were asking something. Yes, I did a solo podcast and then I was like, oh, my God, talking to myself gets difficult. You were you were doing that audio only to write. I think I was doing it not on YouTube. OK, I did it on Spotify and I had video there. And I was just like, I just felt like a solo yapping podcast didn't belong on YouTube.

But then I also learned Spotify has like no real algorithm. Very curated. Yes. Very curated. It's very curated and honestly if you don't have a Spotify original, like tough luck, bud. So when I did a guest episode with Lily, I was like, oh my god. Our chemistry is so good, should we kiss? But instead of kissing, we started a podcast.. Yeah that's kind of how it started.

You do need some way to like unwind the tension. Oh very true is that what you guys do here every week? Unwind the tension. We fight and since we fuck. That was good. Before we had the podcast there'd be issues like one time he had a had a stream for slim gyms and We were a part of this and so we get we're getting crazy We're like the slim gym suck and fuckathon and we're on the stream talking about how who's gonna suck and fuck their way to The top for slim gyms. He gets a very angry message from slim gym that this is not going well Because I think people remember Slim Jims better than ever because of that strength.

They're our multipurpose food. Len, has this podcast made you more money than it's lost you money and opportunity costs? The last dangerous question. I don't like that. I don't like that. You know what? He would never dig into the numbers.

Because I'm his numbers guy now. I don't know the numbers, but what I do know is this podcast has caused me the most headache Not true True you guys say vile shit about people constantly Famously yes, you think maga mail has caused you less stress than this show when I say psychoto Where's a diaper and I'm gonna sail over the pyramids with him and a paramotor, that's more stressful to you.

Just so you know, when he says paramotor over the pyramids, that's a way for him to say, kill him. That's a euphemism for killing him. To be fair, I've never said- I just mixed metaphors here. Never said that about Sykuno. I did say Sykuno wore a diaper and engaged in what I call content diaper play. This was a long time ago. I've taken my licks. Why do I feel like I recall this? Because they fucking freaked out because I was battling Twitter.

Was there a specific clip of Saikuno or something? No, I was just talking some shit. He just talks shit. He's talked shit on several people, Pokey, and it always comes back to bite me. Am I one of them? 100% if you search for me, you'll think. Am I one of them? I don't think you have. I don't think you've ever-

Why would I say shit about him? I love to put him on trial, but I don't think he's ever said something negative about you. Now that I think about it, he actually doesn't talk poorly of women ever. Damn, crazy. Maybe I fucking respect them. However, the podcast in general isn't the biggest fan of women. I've heard you've had like 30. He's a misogynist.

Nick's a misogynist. He once said someone is too beautiful to work at FedEx. As someone who's met me and talked to me, Koki, do you feel like that's true? This is not what I feel is true in this current moment. This is just what the people are saying. About the streets? The streets say you hate women, bro. They've said.

I love women. Let me ask you something, Koki. They've been saying. I once, I have a male woman woman well, I don't have like a mail-order bride Like a mailman, but a woman Delivers my mail She she is so she's very pretty and I said on the on the podcast she's too pretty to be delivering mail. Look at her face, she's just dropped. So there was a correct reaction to that.

That's a good it's good, because I think that's how most people would react. But you guys did it. We did. We did. We made fun of you for like 20 minutes. This is still a bit now because of how insane that is to say. Why is it insane? Let me assist you. Please.

I feel like this might be an unfortunate case of not Englishing very well as someone who's ESL. Ah, je m'appelle Pom. You should have said something like, she was so pretty, honestly. I don't know what she's doing at FedEx. She should be working at IMG Models. Okay. And then you're a Rizzler.

Versus, you're too pretty to be doing this. Is a little hmmm. Right. You know about putting up to be my wife. It's like, however I look I can do whatever I want, bitch. Yeah, yeah. It's saying that she shouldn't be doing something, which isn't really for me to say. Exactly. Right, I understand.

You guys have taught him well. OK, well, counter one, Aiden said that dogs should not go to public spaces. If they if they're there, they should be shot. They should be shot by a police officer. They should be shot. I said the police officer should shoot them. He doesn't like that. I said that. He saw a dog at AMC and yelled at the owner.

Yeah. Oh. Thoughts? Hey, shut up. Poki speaking. Hmm. I don't believe Aiden said that. Oh, my God. That was wild. The fake news writes itself.

Vindicated again. Wait. One other thing I had on my list of things to bring up. So you guys remember the Jake Paul, Mike Tyson fight? Yep. Bondly. I would like to discuss how the fuck did Ludwig tweet like ten things in an hour? He usually doesn't.

I think when big events happen, he likes that. Why do you get on your shit like that sometimes? Okay, do you want me to block you through? Okay, but I'll also say it was impressive. How much I tweeted? How much you tweeted, and frankly, I hate glazing you, but they were banger tweets. Glaze accepted. No legit, and I was like, he doesn't tweet like this.

Part of me started thinking, does he have a team who's tweeting on his behalf? This is a lot. This is like, guys, I don't know if you've seen, it was like 20 tweets. I didn't notice this. Go pee, go pee the logs. I mean, I saw like maybe you came over you go it's me shade drizzle mm-hmm shade drizzle shake drizzle he's a

yeah I'm sorry oh it was all worth it that was the best clip ever you know what hey pack it up to pack it up podcast is over Mr.. President, thank you very much Respectfully real quick you're cuz you're an old league head people shake drizzle leason highlights We're gonna pull us up real quick. You might have seen this back in the day, okay? I don't do you watch league content back in the day like ten years ago. I Was 17 or 18, bro. I don't think I was watching league. I was playing league. Okay. Well either way. It's me and shake drizzle

He's my editor Okay, we got a joint shake drizzle. Love you so much That's good. He's our search streaming and that's a sub sound I'm pathetic bro. Yes, yes I am so bad. You wanna know what's crazy? There actually is a League streamer. I don't know if you get... I don't mind whether you bleep his name or not, but this is probably a clip that he would like.

Whatever. Oh yeah. Using my voice AI as his sub sound, and people were just donating the fucking craziest shit. Oh god. And he was just like, hee hee ha ha. It's weird, because it's funny when it's Obama. Yeah. But sometimes it-

Obama coming on the podcast. But when you're forcing me to say, you know, who's gonna fucking suck some Slim Jim thing, it's not the same. No, actually what I do like- That would be all cancelled. That's also a shame. So I feel like I cut you off about the shade drizzle.

There's an AI Mickey Mouse that people do for German. I love that one. Oh, nice. Because it's just Mickey but it's in German. It's interesting how there's like, if someone gets like Xi Jinping to like sing a country song, I'm all in. But then there's a line that gets crossed. Yeah, I get what you're song. I'm all in. Yeah, let's go. But then there's a line that gets crossed. Yeah, I get what you're saying and I'm with you. Oh, I caught a dream that said I thought of.

You said. Sorry, what do we need AI for? No, we just split a blunt, three pizzas. You didn't split a blunt. You split a blunt. What, a backwards? Come on. Split a backwards, roll that shit ourselves.

Wait, blunt's helping tweet better? Roll that shit ourselves better roll that shit ourselves Oh, yes, ma'am do everything right rhymes better What strain Interested in your kids hobby what strain was Was it? Is it a certain kind? Is Mario and the Devil's lettuce? This is like when my girlfriend asks me about who's in top 8 at Smash Tournaments

Yeah It's like, she just loves me She wants to know how Josh did and she's like, just wants, she's excited, I'm excited That's so cute! So you're into couch So what's strange? That's it bro, when there's a big event I just start spam tweeting But only when there's a big event

Because I just, I just say my, what I do is I say my thought out loud and if she chuckles, I tweet it. I like that. That's a good measure. That is about it. Actually, not off the backwoods, she be laughing at fucking anything. Yeah, and I was tweeting about it.

You'll notice. Sheik has the phrase, I'm saying bro, locked and loaded before you finish talking. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, I'm saying bro locked and loaded before you finish talking one two three Six seven yeah Eleven Generous little tweeter I was dropping them. This is like me I can't even get you to tweet when your fucking merch drops. Yeah, nah, that's dumb as shit though, so I don't do that.

understandable Can I ask you, have you ever heard of- You guys can ask me whatever you'd like. How about this, one question each. Okay. Oh man. AMA. I love when he giggles in the background. Have you ever heard of Project M?

Yeah, you blew it. That's one question. That's one time. There's a lot of project things. There was like a project, something that was a Riot game. There's like project 2025. What does that matter? It's definitely different from that for sure. It's kind of a hybrid of both those.

I'm saying if you are, if a Sprouse is sliding into your DMs, if you mentioned project M to him, he might get excited and be like, you have a 50-50 chance. You have a 50-50 shot at becoming his best friend. It's a mod of a video game. Okay. Yeah. Anyway, that's all I wanted to know. Okay. Your question? Thank you, Slime.

My question. Okay. Do you want to start a podcast with me, you, Lily and Aiden? Wait, that's actually a banger lineup. That is a banger lineup. That should just be an episode. We leave all this crud behind. We leave all this crud behind. And we use this set. And we call it the garden.

And we call it maybe like the yaw. I feel like there's something missing from the lineup. I can't really... No, no, everything's there. I feel like it's the churn. I don't know why after the yard, the second word I could think of that was similar was the turd. That's a good name for it. The tailed. The turd. And we're shitting on them every week. We're shitting on them. Every week, once a week.

You know that Nicki Minaj song? We're shitting on that thing. If you want some bonus shit, we got it. Shitting on fear and. Callum. Oh, I did tweet out, I'm going on the yard, what should I talk about? We're shit on that thing. If you want some bonus shit, we got it. Shit on Fear and. Pitch. Dwell. Oh, I did tweet out, I'm going on the yard, what should I talk about? And Will replied, Fear and. And then other people replied, the socioeconomic state of the world.

Oh, of course, I had to mention whether I was cut or uncut. Yeah, that's key. Would you wait? You've been on Fear and, right? I was, but I believe. So forgettable, right? Just like so- Wait, did-

Was that on it? Did his song turn 90 degrees to start the podcast at his desk? Um, yes. Did his song weirdly start talking when you started talking? Um, I don't recall if he ever stopped, actually. Yeah. I don't think Will was on the episode or maybe was talking to you. Oh, they didn't show up! Oh, yo, that's why we're talking about their show! The people that did the podcast didn't show up? It makes it more interesting. I don't think Will was on the episode or maybe it was...

Oh they didn't show up. Oh yo that's why we're here to find out their show. The people that did the podcast didn't show up? It makes it better because when you tune in you don't know who's going to be there. You know a lot about not showing up. Okay chill out. I famously only missed like two episodes and one was against my Will. Oh why?

Because they're fucking terrorists. What? Terrorists? You love saying this word. It was a rare time. Why does he love saying terrorists? It was a rare time where Ludwig got a little real and emotional with his friends. And it was like, wow, I didn't- They hijacked an episode from me.

I didn't want to miss that episode. And we were like, oh, Ludwig. No, I damn didn't know you cared. Now you come sucking and fucking at me. Only 110 episodes showed up in a row and now he cares Got me. Have you ever cried on camera? Yeah Subathon right subathon, but that was kind of not really on camera. It was a Cutie I think had reached out to my mods and they made like a book and it was like a

Like a book of my streaming career It was like on a fourth streaming anniversary something that was the first time I saw you cry period because we're in last last He's a steel fortress Do you think you could break down I saw you cry Yeah, what and maybe certain drugs Are trying to get me to cry you on like an ayahuasca trip and I just fucking Complicated just don't give me this guy today. He was telling me how he goes on ayahuasca trips with his parents The fucking crypto coin and he's from some fucking norcal

Shit those guys live boring lives and they just want to fry their heads into oblivion it's like what's wrong with that it's just annoying it's like do it for the sport. Maybe that's her best fucking friend. Then I hate your best fucking friend but it's not because she's a better judge of character. God you guys why don't play it? Oh my god is it him? So old-eyes. The eyebrow slits is crazy. Why are you, don't play it. Oh my God, is it him? Kawaii. This is so old- The eyebrow slits is crazy. I thought you were faking it when you did it. And then I asked him and he's like, no, it was real.

And I'm like, that's great. That'd be sick if I could fake that though. How were you feeling in that moment? What were you thinking? I was thinking like, hmm. Oh, I thought it was like talking to him. I thought we were so close. We were so close to a real emotional response.

You almost got us there. If it's me and Ludwig in a room, I can get him crying two minutes easy. Two business minutes done deal. What's your strat? I got some ways. I don't know about this. He's starting to hurt himself. Tri-rolls keep going!

Nick, I'm sorry to interrupt. Could I please have me matcha? That is her. This one is weird. Oh, did we move? I'm so quick. Could you? I have a question. Would you box Haley Welch for 100 million?

Would I box Haley Welch for 100 million? Yeah. No, the outcome of the fight doesn't matter. She's sitting on this question? What? You think I should say yes right away? Yeah, why are you- I'd box a toddler for that amount. Yeah, or the opposite of a toddler.

I box a seven-foot man. That's a great fight. That's like a perfect matchup for you. Can I just preface by saying I don't have money like that, okay? I know everybody would be like, Yes, 100 million! Shut yo ass up.

Bitch. Damn. Finally. Finally. So, is it tax deductible? It's 100 mil straight up. Straight up. 100 mil straight up.

Wait, untaxed 100 mil? Untaxed. Untaxed 100 mil. Right under your bed. Okay, I'm sorry. That's where you draw the line? I do, because it's unrealistic. Because the government needs a cut. No, we you draw the line. I do because it's unrealistic

The fight in like fucking a Malta we do the fight in Andorra we do it in a taxi with all the Spanish youtubers Can we kind of pull like a Jake Paul Mike Tyson you can cook it however you want she does not hold back Oh, she doesn't hold back. No, no, no, you could but she won't. You have to find a Hayley Welch Just ready to ready to kill you. We're not talking about Mike Tyson. Hayley Welch. No disrespect. Hayley Welch I'm sure be a great. That's the queen of memes. You chill on her. She's the queen of memes. Can someone google how tall she is? She I bet she's 5'6 soaking wet. What? Four to five doggos. Can we get a Google please? Dude, she face revealed pookie last week Have you seen Pookie? And he's gorgeous and you're seething

I thought it was really cute that she brought her boyfriend She's tall Okay, I'm not gonna lie, 5'7'' is a little scary Cause you're 5 what? You're 5'3'' and you're lying Damn, that's embarrassing Put your left out Oh god

Thank you Yeah, it's a it's a fine. I see my reach is Yes, she box. Yeah, you take him on sorry. You don't want he's good at eyeballing it once you leave We're gonna eyeball our taints. I yeah That damn picture I've been wondering the whole time is it from the base of the tip It's not from the is it from the base or the tip? It's not from the base She don't know we got down there we got two balls under the we have three Less usually higher Isn't a different per person the rights higher it means you're gay. Yeah, it's a gay ball. Oh, dude.

If you buy both balls are just up. One time, Bokehmane, when Ludwig started streaming, I don't know if you know this, we all lived in the same house as me, Nick and Ludwig, and Ludwig was like a couple hundred Andy. And I had this bit where I would barge into his room and his camera was facing the wall, but his door was facing out, you know, in his room. So I'd open it. I have my balls out. So I've showed him my balls more than 10 times.

He would take pictures of them. And like, so he took like a Polaroid picture and put it under my mouse pad. And then and then I kept it on my setup for a while. Just his balls as like a keepsake. But then one time, like months later, I was just streaming my like on my phone and I showed his balls on stream. So this ball is missing my many people. Yeah, that was that was a mistake on your part.

That was. But men are so interesting. Well, you don't do that with your girls, your gals, you know, you show your balls to your friends. What's the ball? My friends do sometimes send each other like sexy photos, but it's never like, oh, my God, here's my labia. God, me. Yeah, here's my labia. I'm like, no. That'd be heat. Suck bitches.

You know what I mean? I feel like the difference in this context is like, the girlfriends will send each other like, like evaluation, like, does this look good or like, so- Is it for positive affirmation? Positive affirmation or advice to send to somebody else. It's also sometimes, to be completely honest, sometimes it's like, this is too good.

I can't post it online. So I'm gonna just send it to my girl. It's for the, to be completely honest, sometimes it's like, this is too good, I can't post it online. So I'm gonna just send it to my girl. It's for the girlies, yeah. And then the girls are like, damn bitch, you look so good! And you're like, ugh. I feel validated. I like the idea of if I had a vagina, I would take a picture and then- I don't think I want to know what you would do if you had a vagina.

No, this is- To be honest. You might like this. It's gonna be a depiction. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I don't think I would like this. Why do you think she would like this? I would take a picture of it and then I would turn the picture sideways and then draw little eyes on it.

Okay. Like a little lion right? Like a little puppet? Okay I have a question about the girls group chat though. Wait, before your question, I would love to ask, so do you guys just think balls funny like forever? 100%. It's kind of just a universal question. So do you guys just think balls funny like for The day we met Ludwig we saw his balls and ass this is real this is not a joke the day Okay, so you have a nighttime? We're both and Dick were not involved. Well, it's house rules. Well, it could be. It's house rules.

Yeah, yeah. It's because you're not playing competitive. What rules do you play with? So, okay. Spoken like someone who doesn't know the rules. You know what the nighttime, you know everyone puts their heads down in the nighttime? Yes.

So, what some people woke up to. Okay, here's the idea. So you're like. He's trying to get them to make a noise. So we're playing mafia and then the person who's moderating goes, okay, mafia heads up. And then when they do that, keeping my eyes closed because I'm a town member. And I really want the town to win.

This is among us. I would show my butthole and then you would hear a noise from the mafia members because it would be shocked to see a butthole. And then I would know to save the townspeople who to vote out. Does this make me a criminal? Because I'm trying to make the town win. Am I wrong for wanting the town to win? Guys, I got a confession.

What's your confession? We're your friends, so we'll hear you out. You've dropped some pretty important ones lately. My sneaky link decided to stop seeing me. But you don't have a girl. Why? How do you? OK, well, sorry.

That sounds sad. Yeah, it is sad. It is a bit of a bummer. So I'm kind of left to my own devices. And thinking of device, what's that in your hand? Oh, I didn't realize I was holding this. Give me that. It's the new F1SV3 male masturbator pleasure console.

Pleasure console? That's exactly what I call Aiden, but this one's a device. That's right. It's a device. And because my sneaky Link no longer wants to see me because he's busy in the North Pole or whatever you want to call it, I have this new F1 SV3 male masturbator. It's app-based control with new AI-driven sensations.

My god. I think that's good for you. So little pleasure is natural. It is natural, and it's enjoyable. It's got smooth and flexible liquid silicone, two times more power than the last model and a bigger XL size option, which I don't need. That's not, I don't think that's the one that you have. Judging by that one, I don't think any of us really need it.

It's a normal, seems one size fits all honestly. Seems pretty good. But like, look, I just want to take the stigma of this away. As you, you know, some of you who listen to the bonus episode, I recently had an episode with my own prostate. And now this is for the front. Yes. So honestly, stick a little thingy in there. It feels pretty good.

That's why I'm so and I like that about you. Oh, my God. There's like an end. There's like an ender on it. And the fun doesn't even stop. Did you go deep? Do this feels crazy? Is there like a feeling? I got to be honest.

Lilo Lilo, my god, I didn't go. That thing probably feels crazy. Is there like a feeling? I got to be honest. That Lilo Lilo. Oh, my God. I didn't go. That thing probably feels dope. Lilo is the only product we've done an ad for, I think, where somebody made a whole write up on our subreddit about how good their products are after. Yeah, like someone literally made an in-depth.

What is it? One ad. So today, they're crazy. I want to learn. So to their credit, yeah. If you want to join the satisfied customers, and you can use our code, theardlilo50 for an additional 15% off your purchase if you go to the link below in the description and elevate your intimate moments like never before with the high technology. And they don't have to be with your sneaky link that no longer wants to see you because his bitch wife is in the North Pole.

I'm gonna be honest, if it's equivalent to slime situation, the ethics of continuing to see your sneaky link are rocky at best. And maybe you should just buy this Lilo product. The side is transparent. It's like looking into a GameCube controller with a transparent shell. The Yard Lilo 15 for an additional 15% off your purchase. Now we're gonna pop this thing on to Ludwig's hog and see how crazy he goes on it. Call Lilo, he'll stitch you up. Can I be honest, this is fascinating for me. I am, have you guys done your MBTIs? Very unrelated. Yeah. It's a personality test. Yeah, this is the Lily Pucci question. I'm a data collector. I love to analyze. So this is a great sample pool for men.

Well here, in retaliation, when he was... Let her finish! Sorry, I wanted to... Chime in and cut her off? Yeah, thank you. We heard. Oh, Issan! It's good to have you here, Issan. This is why women don't come on the pool. Yeah, it is because of slime and not me. Okay, I'm finished sharing my statement.

Please go ahead. So I love to collect data and one time I was hanging out with this guy and you know still just getting to know each other and we swung by his place and you know I saw the place real quick and he had a fake ball sack and I'm not gonna lie I was I was revolted and confused. Wait was he wearing it? No no no no that's to me. That was almost weird. He just owned one.

I guess it's a joke. Respectfully, respectfully, you can't say this about our veterans. Yeah. OK, that's like makeup to us. You got that shit blown off in Iraq. I saw it's a prosthetic. Can I can I judge a person's, I guess, emotional maturity by whether or not they talk about ball sacks a lot.

But I guess that's just like, no, you can. You can. I had I bought a dildo once as a joke in college. I came back from a trip and I had a big old dildo and I walked into my my my apartment with my roommate and I just peeked it out the door and I was like, it was like wagging. He thought it was really funny. Very expensive joke. I put it in a drawer. Never thought about it again. Dildos, if you didn't know this, have antimicrobial surfaces on them.

And when they just rest in like a place like a drawer under clothes, a bunch of these like black spots started to develop on it. And it was like my dildo had like a disease. No, it wasn't mold. It was anyone who knows in the comments, they will know. Dildo had like a disease. That's mold. No, it wasn't mold. It was, anyone who knows in the comments, they will know. Real dildo heads, no. It was pleasure juice.

It wasn't pleasure juice. There was no juice. There was no juice. No, I promise you, no juice. So you guys just love ball sacks. Yeah. Because I'm not going to lie, you just flashing your whatever in the middle of a mafia round, fascinating.

Well, this is also, it's an age thing because I don't think I would do that today. I was 22. Oh, got it. Here's the thing, too. When he did that in retaliation, I knew he was in another game. I knew he was medic and I was out of the game. So when when the moderator said, medic, raise your heads. I got your lick back. I stood right in front of him.

He was close. I stood right in front of him. My balls are out. And he just and he knew and he had to raise his head to make a medic decision. And he just goes. But, you know, there's levels. It's I think it's about threading the needle. It's you read the room. I think it's like certain friends that would be funny with there.

There's definitely friends that I would like. For slime. I think it's like, there's certain friends that it'd be funny with. There's definitely friends that I would not like. For slime, I know slime well. I know what makes slime laugh. And if I send a picture of me camping in a towel, but the towel shows my flaccid penis under it, and I know that'll make slime laugh. But most people I would not send that to. Well, okay, the first time, speaking of fake ball prosthetics,

I ever talked to Aiden Ross. Oh, I had FaceTimed him and he said, what up? And then pan down and balls were hanging out of his shorts. That's insane way to greet someone. And this is the first time I'd ever talked to him. That's and it was a ball prosthetic. Oh, it wasn't even a ball. No, because then he flipped back up.

And I think it was one of those cars with the starlight roof. So I'm on the way to prom. And then he shakes the balls across that hill like a Rolls Royce. And then he shakes the balls prosthetics. Oh, my God. Yeah. You know, it's crazy. Just like the duality of man, to be honest, because, you know, that's part of who Aiden Ross is.

But also, if you guys saw his like stream with Trump, I saw, I'm not gonna lie, like a minute clip. He was surprisingly professional. Yeah. It's like ball dangling in his Rolls Royce. But to be fair, this was years ago. I don't know if he's still dangling balls prosthetics. Fair enough.

Fair enough. This is kind of like this. This week I saw an old friend of mine. He's very close to me, he's a doctor now. And he gave me a knee exam and helped diagnose a problem with my knee right now. And I was thinking about it while he was doing it. I was like, I have seen this guy blacked out shirtless in a bathtub.

And now 10 years later, he's giving me a knee exam. So actually, I guess it's just the duality of human beings in general. We're also multifaceted. I and the other facet of this is I'm 34 years old. Spoiler. Really? I know. OK. Your face looks pained. Well, because I thought you said earlier that you were 30.

Oh, yeah. I feel like I was lying. And this is why everything you said about Aiden is a lie. I was lying. Well, there's video evidence for that? But I'm the kind of guy that if it's still socially acceptable among my friend group in a consensual way, I will be showing my balls and I will be doing it until the day I'm fucking perished on this earth. There's a bell curve.

Oh, it's a bell. I sometimes wish I had balls to show. Yeah, I wish that for you too. You could. I might. Were Aiden's... Was it... For it to be hanging out of the shorts, was it like a long prosthetic?

No, you're wearing like a towel. Aiden Ross's... Maybe we should cut this because I'm not asking about his actual balls. I mean the prosthetic. Yeah, the prosthetic... Different Aiden's. Different Aiden's. My first thought when I saw the prosthetic...

Oh, not that! Sorry, not you, Aiden, but Aiden Ross. My first thought when I saw the prosthetic is different Aiden's. Different Aiden's. Different Aiden's. Different Aiden's. Different Aiden's. Different Aiden's? Different Aiden. Different Aiden. My first thought when I saw the prosthetic. Oh, not that Aiden, sorry, not you Aiden, but Aiden. My first thought when I saw the prosthetic is damn, he has long balls.

Okay, that's what I mean. So he specifically asked for a long ball prosthetic. Boy, he got long balls. He got long balls. God damn. For his age, that's unusual. For his age, got long balls. Usually on HitTel 25, like that. We've talked a lot about genitalia on this episode.

Is that normal? That's true this episode. That's normal. Yes Yeah, yeah, yeah, isn't it freeing a little bit? What I like about podcasts is I feel like it's just a place to be a little bit more uncensored look goofy Mm-hmm. You guys are crass. I can sit here and laugh at the crassness Marilyn Manson on the Do you know about this? If we say Marilyn Manson No

Every guy knows this I didn't even know about your editor You think I know about Marilyn Manson Yeah they are kind of the same They both went through the same surgery Oh I didn't know that What is it? He got his ribs removed so he could...

He could dingle his own gold! Isn't this a myth? Isn't this not true? And you wanna know what's crazy? You wanna know what's crazy? When I found this out in middle school, I had a friend who was gay. Love him! He was like, I can do that, no surgery needed. I said, oh...

That's game. That's it. We talked a lot about that in our Patreon episode that we did before this. Do you think it's actually possible? Do you think it's even real? I've seen it. I've seen it with my own eyes. I've seen videos as crazy. I wanted to see if it was real. Brother, we need one brother. That is Patreon content. We need one of those like 360 camera POVs.

Dude, the train guy, the train guy POV. I love train guy. Most precious human being on earth. Do you think he has a ball prosthetic? I think he has two less ribs in his body. But just to see the trains from better POVs. Poki, remember the first time we met? No.

I'm sorry, respectfully, I cannot really remember the first time I met anyone. I'd just be meeting people. Do you remember? The first time you met Poki? He was there? The, oh my God, it was. Maybe if you tell me I can remember. I only remember the first time I met Austin.

It was the offline TV Christmas party 2018. Oh really? Yeah, I was like out of town or something. You were out of town. I was so bothered. I wanna go to my first weird big party. Cool. I coached Ludwig on how to get into the party because you have been talking to Zell, right?

Yeah. You've been talking to Zell because they did like melee stuff and he was like, how do I like ask to go to this party without being weird? I'm like, just- Wait, you were asking stuff like that? That's really cute. And I said, quote tweet and send the tweet to him and then just put eyes emoji. And then he did.

And he just dropped the address. And that's what we went. We had no business being in this joint. It was OTV house. It works. It works. It kind of does. Depends who you are.

True. Yeah. If you're, if you're streaming, uh, and then yeah, then we went in, played Smash with Tafokins, and I tried to talk to you, and then you were talking to someone else. Someone. I can't remember who. Someone important, probably. And then I was just waiting patiently. And then Slime next to me goes,

Poki, he wants to talk to you! I remember this! You are an evil tormentor. I'm sorry, I got a cool girl to talk to my handsome fucking Chad friend who looks like Guile from Street Fighter. Oh, I'm a monster! Yeah, dude! He was excited to talk to you! And then you said, okay, and then I said hello, and you went hi, and then I left. Dude, I forgot about that.

I mean, that sounds kind of dope, actually. And then I hung up Lily. Zipper, can you bring up the video I told you to bring up? You got a video? No, not really. It's not that crazy. I mean, that's not a bad interaction, to be fair. Yeah, I mean, it would be horrible. Maybe someday we'll have a friendship arc.

And then I had a ball of prosthetic hanging out. Yeah. And I said, goodbye. Dude, Taffo was there, I remember, because I was like, oh, thank God, someone I know in this giant sea of people that I don't. And Taffo was wearing like this fucked up fit, goodbye. Dude, Taffo was there. I remember because I was like, oh, thank God someone I know in this giant sea of people that I don't. And Taffo was wearing like this fucked up fit, bro. He had like a fitted. He had Yeezys. He had like, yeah, he had Yeezys.

He had Yeezys with like, buka jeans. Yeah. I remember the Yeezys era. I had him too. It was, it was, I met Licorice there. C9 Licorice, the league player. I had a pile of laundry that I didn't want to fold. I just left in the living room when we all lived together

and it was there for so long. And Ludwig in protest of me doing this, wore all of my clothes to the party. He just pulled from my laundry. Do you get all your own clothes? Do I get all my own clothes? Yeah, like do you buy them personally? Oh, I have a stylist that I will do fittings with maybe like every four or six months. It's great, though.

It's like they just get a bunch of clothes. You spend two hours to try things on. You keep what you like. You leave what you don't like. That seems like such a good idea. It's just time efficient, to be honest. You won't remember this, Poki, but this is technically the first time I met you was at this event. OK. Do you remember this event? What, but this is technically the first time I met you was at this event. Okay.

You remember this event? What's it called? Gift the Rift. It is really long ago. Can we fast forward so maybe I can recall? I think you're like maybe the next shot. Oh my god that's me! This is beyond the summit house.

Guys I'm wearing camo pants. I'm filming this. That's lit. That's crazy. What year is this? Nick's shooting this. He's behind the That's crazy. What year is this? Nick's shooting this. He's behind the camera right now. Lily in the back?

I can't believe I genuinely barely recall this event. It was so weird. Like, it was such a... Because we... Like, Beyond the Summit was like a Dota studio, had never done A League of Legends anything, and also had never had like... Oh my God, I hope not. ...actual big streamers.

I might have. And so there was just like this, you know, wave of big streamers who were here one day. Was it just playing League? Yeah, it was like a league charity. I like to joke. Yeah. It is the least viewed Poke main video on YouTube. It is.

It is the lowest. Our trainer. I'm pretty sure. Like personal trainer. Yeah, I could be wrong, but I think that's our trainer zipper. Let's see the Pokimane video is crazy. Let's check it out You could beat everyone who has seen it Nick Okay

There were a lot of weird things that happened back in the day in the league scene. I feel that kind of just like went under the radar. And I'd like to quickly tell a story I've never told before. Oh, as a new league, because we're all kind of new. We just started playing my Tom Ketch is the episode where you guys talked about playing league. I'm also considering a league arc. Oh, welcome back to disease. Well, welcome back. It's a disease. Welcome back.

It's a disease. Yeah. Welcome back. Can we play Fives? I'm reading a great book right now. I'll do that today. Because I need, I need to get back into it before I stream it. Sure.

Who do you play? I like to play mid or ADC or support. Okay. We'll have a good time. How do you feel about Tom Kench? Love. Me too. Fiddlesticks? Love.

Amumu? Solid, honestly, I know you play him and I think that's good because when someone's trying to rank up, they should play a champion like Amumu that is great for the team, that has good AOE, that is kind of pretty good at clearing the... What a political answer. Tell us League team. Very diplomatic. What about an aggressive Lux mid? Me? You? You play Lux? Yes. I play Lux T. Very diplomatic. What about an aggressive Lux mid? Me? You? You play Lux?

Yes. I play Lux mid. Twins? Oh my god. Okay, League T. Back in the day, way, way back in the day, I was in college still before I went full-time streaming, but I was playing League all the damn time. 2016-17?

Yes. We're the same age, so what year of college? Second. Okay, so 2016. 2016. I was approached by some people who were looking to make a reality TV show. I'm going to yak. About five girls that play League.

Oh my God, the humanity. And here's the thing, this, I'm not going to lie, back then, I was like decently high elo. Not like super high elo, but I was also in school. And I'm like D1 before there's all those in between tiers, whatever. That's real. And I was like, you know what, if I actually like grinded out, I could probably hit whatever, Masters or something. If I really try hard with a coach, okay? So they're trying to basically do sirens, but TV show.

Oh, and you know, when you're like a smaller streamer and you're like, I'll hear anything out, you know, I'll just I'll suss it out. They get us a coach. We are doing like low key scrims. I've never talked about that. We're doing like scrims, post stream, post classes, whatever. And this is also being run by a director in Hollywood. Like you Google him, you like, whoa, you know,

Pam's guy, he's done some shit. That's what they were trying to pitch, but they needed the people. They needed whatever, whatever. We have this coach, we have a team, etc, etc. I have the old emails too. They fly me out to LA and I take a meeting with the director. And in hindsight,

in hindsight, it was almost like some weird ass date because it's like me and this old man. It's me and this old man. Did he like take you out for a phone? Yeah, like having a dinner. And obviously, you guys know me. I'm like, yippee doo dah yay about everything ever. So I'm like, yippee, yeah, this sounds cool. I really like the girls and the coach is really nice.

No, no, no, no. And after that, obviously, I'm like, OK, I got to go. I leave. I have a great time in LA. Go back home. Ghost. Like the whole operation. And I'm like, like, did I do something wrong? Or was it weird for me to meet with him in the first place?

His name? Harvey. That's that's that's Rift Herald. That's what you guys think? Just no funding? That's fucked up. It's just a weird situation looking back on. There was a lot of problems with the production. We wanted the pieces together.

That's dark. And we thought the angle was going to work, but you weren't into it. No, but also would it be normal to have like a dinner with a director that you're gonna work on something with? If you're like, I could see like a like definitely like a director being like I don't know how to put it like if it's a one-on-one I think it's a little weird. It's weird because there's five. Yeah, you feel like you do the five. If you were the, it's like, coffee is more normal. if you're the lead then I guess Meeting is like one-on-one, but dinner is also crazy call

Where was it and then where was dinner? This is kind of important? Um? Cheesecake we gotta shoot this guy in the head. Yeah It was like a soho house type of okay, so yeah, there was definitely a level of I'm Soho House type vibe. Okay, so yeah, there was definitely a level of I'm flaunting, you know, trying to... It was just the director. And I mean, it wasn't like fully... Yeah, it was just the director.

And it wasn't fully Ghost after, it just kind of like got weird after. It was like, W-Y-D... It was like, yeah, we're really trying. And then... Kind of fizzled apart. Was that your first like... I don't know, was that the first time something like that kind

of fell into your lap and you're like, you're like, oh, I'll see what this is about. Um, yeah, I think it really was the first time. Yeah. Because that was before I was even a full-time streamer. Yeah. Man, that sucks too, because like you said, like you're a small streamer or whatever, you like try to. You're like, sure, this could be a cool opportunity.

And then he's just like, Netflix? Like, we're gonna pitch it to Netflix? Yeah, you know, the usual. And in hindsight, I'm like, were they really trying to do this thing or were they just fucking around? Some things die. There was that one show with low tier God on it. That was a reality show.

That's real? Yeah, he's on TV. It's crazy. Before we wrap this up, I'll steal his favorite question and ask, in your career, what are you the most proud of that you've done or worked on? I think I am the most proud of this kind of cheesy,

but honestly, just being like the most followed female Twitch streamer, because it feels like not an achievement just on my own, because it's like everybody who's a content creator has really cool goals and achievements. And on one hand, like numbers are just numbers. But on the other hand, I can be like, oh, in a way I kind of pushed how far along female streamers were by achieving a new goal kind of on behalf of all of us.

Yeah, yeah. Which is nice. That's cool. Final question, have you heard of Brian Silva? Silva sounds familiar. I don't think. You don't think she has? I think she's seen a video of his for sure

She must have is it he's a dancer Among many other things thanks so much for Thanks for coming on a passionate one exotic. It's not sexy guys. He cares Between your boss acting and Ais. I had a really good time. Honestly, we could go for longer. This is great. Anything to plug?

What's the actually the new pod? Yeah, we could. Anything to plug? If you guys enjoy podcasts, please check out my podcast with Lily. It's called the Sweet and Sour Podcast. And we have a great time. And we may also talk about the length between your. And coming soon, the Sweet and Sour Olympics. Percentage by Pokimane!

Percentage by Pokimane, our new investor. Thank you. We'll talk. We'll talk. Is this Brian Silva? Yeah. Okay. That Foo Foo Lane shit ain't weird. I seen some shots at your business. I've seen this.

So you have heard of Brian Silva? I've seen his clips, did not know his name. Yeah. Grr-a-ta-ta-ta. I'm a fan. Well, thank you so much. Thank you for having me. This was very fun.

Thank you, Ludwig, for dressing like a fuck ass. And being 15 minutes late. 15, 20 minutes late. We'll see you guys in the Patreon where we talk. We shot it actually before this episode and it got pretty crass. So if you... No, but Pokey has validated our crassness now. So we were afraid all the the Pokey viewers would be like, who? Yeah, women are delicate figurines that are allowed to talk about.

Yeah, you said this. You said that if you look a certain way, you can't be a FedEx male. Yeah, she was a USPS male lady. Government employee. Goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye.