The Yard - Ep. 183 - We did it!

Episode Date: January 22, 2025

This week, the boys talk about the aftermath of the yard rock-a-thon, a new platform called the yard social, and how we're going to biohack aiden... Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You know, you look like I get impressed. That's not the right word. You look like you're recording in the rolling. Yeah, we're rolling in the movie when like your best friend is the rebellious one. That's like how they do it up. You asked me to the Carver's Master Draves. You tell me, OK, the chain. They match the shoes.

It's just not red enough. It's like could be more red. You're like a Degrassi bully, not like a real boy. How patchy it is. I didn't even know about this. You look at the back of my head. I looked like shit. See that? Look at that. this. You look at the back of my head. The back looks like shit. See that? Look at that, bro.

You're like the best roller derby player. I mean, look, not everything that was done during the charity stream was done perfect. There were some patchy spots on like all of it. Dude, Aidan's head. OK, for one, when we hit the stretch goal to shave his head, I knew that was going to happen. I didn't. I was like, this is going to happen. And I can't wait. I like reached for the clippers.

Like I was like, I'll do it. I'll do it. I'm bald. I'll do it. You were. Everyone deferred to me. You were the only one that could pull the sword out of the stone. And shave his head. He looks like fucking what's the guy from the Smurfs? Gargamel. Gargamel. How do you know his name? Because everyone kept saying his name in chat.

Dude, Aidan would like be off the set like, you know, walking around drunk eating pizza, staring out a window, the things he does usually when he's drunk. Just minding his own business and people would be like sneaking pictures of him. Just cause he looked so fucked up. Yeah, I've seen between this and the screenshots from the stream, I have seen my head from every angle imaginable. They got your shit mapped. They could put it in a video game. Yeah, yeah, there's a 3D scan right now. You're gonna be in a Madden title. There's never been a better time to put my name into Mid Journey. It's... Yeah. You look like the toy that scares Buzz and Toy Story. Yeah. Yeah. Does he get that one or something?

No, no, that's a new one. Do you like this? Because it doesn't stop. That's it. It's gonna happen. It's not because I'm bald. It's because of the way you shaved my head. No, the toy that scared Sid is just a baby's head on a spider.

It's got some hairs. It's got some hair. It looks like that. And to be clear Aiden, you, I look like kind of scammed. I said I said I scammed. Why is that? Because he has some hair? Shave bald.

It's not bald. It's not to the bone. Oh, to the ass? I never agreed to that. I said shave our head. I can do it for you. Archie pull up the clip. Before he shaved his head, did we not say on the stream he's, to the ass? Cause we never agreed to that. I said shave our head. Why not shave to the ass? I can do it for you. Archie, pull up the clip. Before he shaved his head, did we not say on the stream

he's gonna shave it bald to the bone? No, doesn't the graphic say goes bald? Aiden goes bald? Yes. No. And we said live it would be to the bone. Bald to the bone. To the bone. We smoked the dick down to the ass.

That's just not to the bone. There's marrow left. There's marrow and I wanna suck it. Surely. I wanna suck your marrow. Surely I get a say. This is my favorite one. Dude, his head's like fucking uneven.

Every funny screenshot that people took like this, it always had the most awesome lyrics, some of it. Yeah. Sometimes it'd be like, why try? Yeah, mine just said don't. Yeah, it's people on this subreddit were like, I don't. Don't release. Yeah, it's people on the subreddit were like, I don't know who's running production, but this is amazing. And it's like, it's just Zipper.

It's just Zipper. Was at that station for 12 hours doing transitions. Zipper doing tricks on it for 13 hours. Absolutely doing the transition. I didn't I got to like go back and click through the stream for a little bit. And I was looking at some of the moments that I was in and didn't get to watch. And I'm like, wow, like we're fucking being there's like circles you see like Aiden's face in the corner there's like fades and shit like it was a arcade fire I don't know we

even could do that I didn't know we had the technology and well okay two things first off welcome back to the art episode 100 second 100 what What is happening? Because the VOD is gone and people are sad. What is happening? Probably because I don't know, maybe like 83 royalty songs or like. So is it gone forever and they can never see it again? Nick, is that what we're going to make a video? We're making a video. I think what we're going to do.

You tell me what you think about this. I think we upload the raw VOD to the Patreon now. Yeah. And then we upload a cut up video for the main channel. Love it. The best stuff. And I know, I know Dubbin already got there, the YouTube channel, but we can put our own little stink on it. What do you mean? What are you talking about? You're, one of your fans.

Dubbin the highlight channel. Oh yeah, Dubbin. Oh, literally Dubbin. Yeah. They are fast bro. They're fast, that motherfucker does not sleep. Don't you, don't call a neurodivergent teenage girl a motherfucker. How do you, why are you assuming that she's a neurodivergent teenage girl a mother how do you why are you assuming that she's a neurodivergent teenage girl why

else would you be this obsessed and have Adobe Premiere cracked so they might be Brazilian they could be Brazilian oh yeah if you're obsessed with anything you're either a girl or Brazilian or MC Or MC to TWG. Yeah, so it'll come back, but back to Aidan's scam. Okay, Aidan's scam. Now, here's where I'm at. I actually don't think he needs to shave it to the bone. Okay.

Oh, your line of reasoning is so funny too. Well, it's because we were at Shakedrills birthday party last night. I bailed. You did bail. It was funny. I actually thought you were going to go. It was funny. And I was sad.

Weren't really there. I was sad. That's not all that was. You were sad? I was sad. You were sad that I didn't show up? Yeah, for Shake. Because I thought you would crack for him.

I thought he would pull you. It was close. Shake, can I just say, Shake had potentially the worst birthday fit on possible. No. It was. I got it. It's it could never leave Please he's wearing a ring a white

Wrinkled shirt that he probably wore to bed last night and kept on today of a gangster Mickey Mouse Yep, no, sorry That is it was the Mickey Mouse from hearts. Yeah. Yeah kingdom hearts with the hood Organization 13 Mickey Mouse that Kingdom Hearts. From Kingdom Hearts? Yeah, from Kingdom Hearts, Mickey Mouse with the hood. That's not, dude, that's funny. It was the Organization 13 Mickey Mouse that he's calling Gangster. Thank you, okay. It's okay. It's kinda the same shit. It's kinda the same shit.

Organization 13's a gang. It's kind of a gang. Mickey's throwing up fucking gang signs. It's a gang of nobodies. Mickey sees up, you think? Wrinkled. He's got plaid, brown plaid tight, very tight pants on. He has a lot of tight pants tight he's got a lot of tight

and then he's got socks and sandals indoors yep money so like the you can see like the what's it called the thong going into the sock like a hundred bucks did he arrive at this this costume this is again sandals not slides sandals so to be clear he lives here so he spawned like that

he was the worst dressed person at his own birthday Again, sandals not slides. Sandals could be a beach. So to be clear, he lives here, so he spawned like that. He was the worst dressed person at his own birthday. Was he dressed differently and then the night went on? Much like Aiden at the Rockathon and more outfits just. No. No, same outfit, whole time. Started and ended. And then Alex Smokes Mid shows up.

He's wearing a Rolex. It's a hand-me-down. And Shake sees the Rolex and goes, you just wait here. And he comes out with Rolexes. Shake's got two or three. And he comes out and he's like, look with Rolexes. He's got two or three. He comes out. One from you. He's like, look at my watches. He goes this one.

He's like this one mogul moves 2000 to 2 million subscribers. I think it was he bought it for himself. He bought it for himself. Oh, I didn't get him a fucking Rolex. You asked once, can I get polite and shake Rolexes and back in like 2020? Did I get him a Rolex? I don't know. You asked me and I said yes.

Damn. I'm nice. I don't know if you did though. I don't even have a Rolex. I think you pulled the trigger. I might have. I don't think you did. You treat them yes. Damn, I'm nice. I don't know if you did though. I don't even have a Rolex. I don't think you pulled the trigger. I might have. I don't think you did. You treat them too good.

You got a cool ring on. I haven't seen that one. Dude, I was... Cutie got me this. Oh. Is it from the same Gucci collection? Yeah, I got Cutie a board game for Christmas. She got me a Gucci bracelet.

You keep saying this, but you got her the cool halo bag last year. Oh. That bag's cool. I use it all the time. She doesn't even have it. Yeah, I just I was last year. I feel so cool't even have it. Yeah, I just I was last year. That's so cool that you stole it. Yeah, I take all her shit.

I got I got her code names with pictures. Come on, that's kind of lit. I don't think the trade would even. They have pictures. There's no words. It's a different kind of game. It's actually worse. It is.

It is hard. I looked at it and I was like, this looks not as fun. It's just not. No, code names is fun because it's names Yeah, yeah, you can hit a jackpot. You guys remember at 822 p.m. If shake was wasted or not Not at 820, I don't think he was ever like not at 820 like hammered no Well, I won't point he went to smoke then he got cross Oh, you know what no there was a point where he said hey check this shit out

And then he went over to turn tables That he has in his living room and he put on headphones and he proceeded to look at his laptop Not touch the turntables and not his head, but he was not doing a bit. He was seriously DJing But he didn't put his hands on the turntable It was funny is he keeps going I forget to who like random people he's like, you know Can you throw a couple songs on cuz he's playing beer pong and then and then and then everyone be like I don't really know how to do it and be like fine. I'll DJ my own party Keep going over to add so you just add songs to the playlist guess. I'll just DJ. I guess I guess I got really good

I don't know what it is about shake drizzle I haven't seen a lot of some friends I have who like I've seen drunk before but't seen drink in a while. They were all drunk at this party. Everyone was drunk at this party. Yeah. Shake loses a mug. I heard, I heard that everyone got pretty trashed. Literally everyone was drunk. They all went, they all went to a bar after. Josh's girlfriend. There's a huge crew. That's because they, they drink so much that they ran out of beers and seltzers. And I know this because Bunt walks up to Shake and goes, last beers. And then Shake goes, I'll take that one. And then I was like, no, no, no, you don't get it. There are no more. And Shake goes, there's seltzers. And then I was like, you don't get it.

This is the last two. And so I guess that's when they decided to go bar time. Plight, your editor, also very drunk at this party, somehow got it in his brain that every hour he owes me a compliment. So every hour he'd come up and show me the phone to show me the time and then he'd give me a compliment. And he kept saying, I have a 50 page document. And I didn't get the details on what that meant for a while. And then I eventually got there.

He's got a 50 page document of ideas for both you and for the yard. Whoa. And I'm like, polite, I'm gonna be real with you. If the first three pages don't bang. Oh, you started reading it. No, he hasn't shown me yet. He just keeps, he kept talking about it.

I'm gonna tell you right now, his ideas bang. His ideas bad? They bang. Oh, they bang. He's got good ideas. Okay. Really? I know this, yeah. Yeah, he started, I'm doing a trend of videos, Is that just bad? They bang. Oh they bang. He's got good ideas. Okay. Really?

I know this. Yeah. Yeah, he started, I'm doing a trend of videos, which is like honestly reviewing X. Yeah. And so he started that. I think his was like reviewing YouTubers products, which maybe sounds simple, but then when you start going down, it's like, okay, you got YouTubers products, YouTubers games, sponsors that YouTube is sponsored by. So I got YouTubers games, sponsors that you to sponsor by.

So I got a treasure trove of stuff to work with. The sponsor, the sponsor one was really good. Taking all the like common sponsorship stuff or stuff you've been asked to like plug for and then just reviewing them instead. It all started there. So you've got a good list. YouTube sponsored robot for throat fucking. What are you asking? It's like, how do I take part in this now?

How does the conversation go from my side? You know, I'm just asking. Oh, I'm sorry. Do I not get to do I not get to ask a question to an expert last month? A professional last month on X. Boston Dynamics posted a new video you ever seen in Boston Dynamics. You know, they'll post like the dog robot jumping like another two feet. They post the guy doing a obstacle course.

Or like the human robot and they'll push him down and it'll get back up. Last month, banger update for you from Boston Diaries. That's what I'm saying. And it wasn't it. What's his name? Fucking Veritasium. He had a sponsor for the throat fuck robot. No, Veritasium did not. He's like a science guy.

No, he did not. Yeah, he did. Yeah. I watch his videos. Archie, can you cue the Vsauce music? Getting your throat fucked by a robot? No, a robot doesn't throw a fucking... No, you fucked... Sorry, well no, but he always does that. He always like subverts the expectation at the start.

Can you pull up a Mark Rober... ...fucking? No, people... Mark Rober penis clobbered by robotics nightmare. Mark Rober UV light. Mark Rober UV light. Mark Rober built his last toy. Extreme robot experiment gone wrong.

Is that picture of him emaciated? I wanted to build a new type of toy. I'm instantly sorry I said that. So, the first and last time I ever talked to 2mad, he was in a Discord call, he posted this picture, and he said, how to hide cum from your parents. And I thought it was the funniest thing. That's so crazy.

When was that? This was 2020. Wow. This was like five years ago. Dude, so last night during Shakespeare's day, I was streaming League of Legends because I just wanted to play it. By the way, I was watching you stream League of Legends when I got a text from Shake saying, where are you?

Because I forgot the party was happening and I was doing that. Dude, I did that. Here's how I remembered. Because Shake wanted his birthday to be Saturday. He messaged me, he sent me the party full. And I was like, Saturday is the Rockathon. And he's like, oh, I was like, you should come by the Rockathon, letting you know, by the way. He's like, OK, I'll just move it to Sunday. Then I'm streaming League of Legends. I get a text on my phone.

I'm up to one on the Ops and he just he it's Shake. And he says, did I see you outside my place just now? I was on the balcony and. It wasn't me. If he's on the balcony, he's high. I was thinking he might have saw Aiden. Maybe this happened. This is a real thing that happened. I can't believe this already happened.

I'm at the fucking basketball park. Two kids come up. They say, yo, look, can I get a picture? I say, sure. And then while I'm taking a picture of them, you're on the court. They point to you in your head and they go, is that slime? And they could have been following me, but I don't think they were, Aiden. I don't think they were.

How is a person going to act that well if they're not a professional actor? It just doesn't. I feel like it's not the same. You like it off. I feel like it's different. I haven't shaved. Content warning. Yeah Yeah, Caleb in the other room too we could get something going

It's kind of close After what Elon did on that damn podium. Yeah, I guess I can't see the brain you have a similar amount of hair Not gonna lie that true mine is gonna grow though. It's gonna grow Not gonna lie that true mine is gonna grow though. It's gonna grow and expand Well, it could not grow as well. It's gonna be we don't know probably well You know guys remember what I look like when I had to shave my or grow my hair out for the Tony star Yeah, dude. It looked like shit. I looked like Aiden did on the stream It was a shit. I remember you hated it. I hated it so bad so back to it Aiden scammed back to at the party we're talking about it and And I it. Aiden scammed back to at the party. We're talking about it.

And and I'm asking Aiden why he's scamming. Why didn't you shave it to the ass, Aiden? And and he's and he's and he's doing he's doing this whole piss pissy fit. And I goes because your girl and he goes, no, Zipper 3 doesn't even mind. Zipper 3 doesn't like she's got no problem with this. Oh, she did. And so then girl. So then I'm well, so I'm giving him I'm giving him right. I'm giving him a whole lot of shit. I'm like, well, then you got no problem with this. Oh, she did. So then, girl. So then I'm, well, so I'm giving him,

I'm giving him, right. I'm giving him a whole lot of shit. I'm like, well, then you got to do it. Zipper 3 comes over and I'm like, well, I heard you, you don't mind this cut. She goes, that's not what I said. She almost threw up. She, she was making, she was making gag noises.

Yeah. Yeah. She hates it, bro. Yeah. I don't think she even likes you very much. I'm gonna be real. She hates it, bro. Yeah. I don't think she even likes you very much. I'm gonna be real. She hates it. After the Rockathon. I can't believe this. I I know you're listening right now. I know you're listening and I'm not and I want to out her so bad.

I want to say, well, after the Rockathon, you come up to me. You're you're you're cashed out. Obviously, we are. And you said, you got to do one last thing for me, dude. I was like, what? He's like, you got to shave the rest. Yeah. Yeah. I needed it off Instagram.

Like, I sure. And I look at the feel the look. No, no. It was fine. It looked like good. It was so good! We like it! We like it! You look like a Greek philosopher.

A Greek man! It was the most disgusted I've ever been with myself. That's not true. It was? We've been more disgusted. I know, of myself. Dude, you've been disgusting before, man. And this is the most disgusting it's ever been.

It was worse than Mexico. It was worse than Mexico. When you're shitting your fucking brains out in an open concept bathroom. You're on wet wipes. You look really cool, by the way, in the bathroom. I'm like, I'm gonna go to the bathroom. I'm like, I'm gonna go to the bathroom. I'm like, I'm gonna go to the bathroom. I'm like, I'm gonna go to the bathroom. I'm like, I'm gonna go to the bathroom. I'm like, I'm gonna go. When you're shitting your fucking brains out in an open concept bathroom.

You know what would be really cool, by the way, in that, if you just went out and bought a diaper. And then just kept the trip going. And just kept shitting. That would be cool. Well, the diaper isn't for just wearing. You keep wearing it. It just catches the poop. Exactly.

You could probably do like a reusable, like a one size fits all. Having Zipper 3 slows it down. We should make reusable diapers. Yeah. And then I. For adults reusable, like a one size fits all. Having zipper 3 close it down. We should make reusable diapers. And then I... For adults. Yup. Put it in the wash. Dude, it's awesome. No, no, yard reusable diapers.

Yard reusable diapers. Anyway... We call it yard waste. Oh no! You have to learn about girlfriend code. Girlfriend code. Which is, you hit a certain stage stage where a girl likes you and Outside of doing wrong you can really do no wrong

So like if you have a bad outfit or bad haircut or whatever The worst reaction they'll give you is that's okay. I don't mind it. Yeah, that's the bottom. That's the worst Yeah, but you're misinterpreting that Apathy as it's not bad from like slime, which is way different because he'll say vitrolic things. It's not bad is a pretty good day for me. Yeah. From me. But for your girl.

I don't know, man. She might want to do it. His girl's low key a hater. Dude, she's a hater. So she'll be like, you look like shit. It's different now. Things are different now and they'll be back. But right now they're different.

Dude, what'd he shave? That's what I thought. I went up to her after the rockathon. She wanted to shave it, by the way. I was about to, and she's like, can I do it? I'm like, yeah, sure. And she did it, and he's all done, and he's like, ready to go home. And I go up to her, I'm like, would you, if he did this for permanent,

like, would you stay with him if he was like this permanently? She's like, no, before I even finish this sentence. That's crazy. How do you finish a sentence? Not even if I were a worm, if I even finish this sentence. That's crazy. How do you finish a sentence? If I were a worm, if I just happened to go through mail at her baldness, you are close to a worm. You're the closest to a worm you'll ever be.

Would you still love me if I was a bald worm? She kept doing this thing where she would like she was doing it that night and the next day where she would like go up to me and she'd be like this is my future. That's sweet. That is not sweet. Where she would like go up to me and she'd be like this is my future Dude, how about that? With no platform to defend herself. This is warfare. Oh my god.

And you know she's gonna fire back way too big. That's the thing. But the thing is, he's got a bigger gun. He says to the people. It's true. Imagine, cause we like to keep our stuff. He's stress eating right now. He's stress eating.

I just launched a nuclear warhead. You did. You know what happens now, Cold War's over buddy. I can't take it back. Later in the little episode editing chat Archie, can you cut this random time stamp out? Nothing in specific. No message to Archie directly.

Make sure not to watch it as well. Yeah, I don't think Cutie likes the red too much. Really? I don't think she's the biggest fan. I mean, it's not very well done. What would she rather have? This riff like bark at you?

He did bark a lot at me and I keep forgetting I have it. So everyone's like, whoa, the hair and I have to remember every time. I'm like, oh yeah, because I can't see my own hair. Would she rather have you bald or like that? Right like this for sure. That's what I'm saying. For sure. He was anti't see my own hair. Would you rather have you bald or like that? Right like this, for sure. That's what I'm saying. It was anti-balding. Yeah, God forbid.

Just just the thought. You know, knock on the door. I'm shuddering. I'm shuddering. It'd be bad, right? I would kill myself. Yeah, I would kill myself. How the fuck could I go outside? With a gun? Yeah, no, no.

You know, like it's aggressive. It'd be against the wall! My brain! My brain! Cause I'd want to close castings cause I wouldn't want them to see my head! It's not that bad, it's not that bad That's what I would want! Yeah

I'd rather sever all hours of the day I'd probably drink a rare poison Well, you don't have to, so What happened to poisons? I don't know, I feel like we stopped doing poisons, we just started shooting people. Low-key, I feel like that's the case. And I feel like poison would work. Poison would work! Bring back poison.

Bring back poison. How come only rats get poison? That's not fair. I wanna poison the rats in my life. What were you saying, Aiden? Can I eat rat poison and live? Or is it like a little bit? Does it work like Advil? Like it knows where the pain is and it goes to it? No, no, I think it's all dosage. You can eat a little bit. I can eat a little bit of rat poison.

Just a tiny little bit of rat poison. Yeah, like in the same way you could eat like, you know, like the apple seed thing. Nope. What are you talking about? Apple seeds contain like a toxic amount of cyanide. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But the amount of apple seeds you have to eat are so ridiculous you could you would die from like... It's kind of like if like your farts, like they got a certain amount of like methane and you get like in hell for you know Sulfur is what makes us smell if you inhale too much technically you could pass out, but you don't make enough

Poison is simply just an amount one is it maybe it is sulfur not methane I don't know one of us might be on the precipice of making enough We can make a poison. We should make a yard poison. We're making a diaper or a poison, Gawd. Can we just pick? Because I'm bored. We had such an awesome stream two days ago and now I'm just bored. Because nothing else is like my life.

And now we desperately need a new merch product. We should take the money and not donate it and we should make an awesome poison. The first sour poison. We have to make a decision. OK, we got matched by Josh Brolin. Shout out, shout out JB. Shout out JB Thanos. All right. Because of that, I thought it was CGI the whole time. He looks like that for real. That's his real chin.

He is a real scrotum. The director really wanted to change the chin. It was no country for old men, CGI. He took the pre surgery. He had a Zac Efron situation. Oh, no. to change the chin. It was no country for all men, CGI. He either take the surgery. He does Zac Efron situation. Oh, no. So anyway, he's a buddy dysmorphia. He does.

He's like, I really want a big, big ball chin. I want a big ball chin. JB, God bless his heart, matched. So technically, we passed our last milestone. But we didn't pass the milestone within the confines of the stream. You get what I'm saying here? Do you get what I'm getting at? Yeah.

We had our last milestone, which is yard live at 250k. Do it in the yard live at $250,000. We didn't hit 250k. We got like what, 236 something? We got 227. Okay. And then Josh matched 227. So we passed 250 with his match.

Does that count to do the yard live? I say no. Well, you say no? I say no. You want to know my counter argument? Oh, please. You counted the yards match towards the milestone goal. That's true. So why would this be different?

Because during the stream. Thank you, Aiden. That's a really good point. It came during the stream. During the stream. Because like, look, if it was if it was Slime dresses Homer, let's say that was our 250,000 goal. Would Slime be doing that off the line right now?

Let me ask you a question. Let me ask you a question let me ask you a question if We did not get the match from JB from jhp team HB and Ball do you think jhp and Josh ball in the same person? No one's balding. Yeah, jhp was Thanos is okay. Yeah, okay Um if we didn't get the match, but then the stream ended and then people kept donating and we hit 250 Would you do the art live?

So ridiculous to even think about. If we know it, if we know it, but they kept sucking. Yeah, that's what I mean. If we know it and they kept sucking. Why did she keep sucking? Why would she do it? It's like you don't need to keep sucking. But it's a hypothetical.

And I feel like I should enjoy it because the meme says it's good, but I don't really like it. I don't really actually like it. It's too much. I would rather just end it now. I would say no. I would say no. I would stand firm. What if they said, wait, I only donated because I saw the goal on the website. It's there.

And before JHB. And then I put the money in and now I don't get it. I would say, I would say, take it back from charity. Take it back from charity. I'd probably do a voice. Take it back from charity, idiot. I'd probably drink this awesome thing, elixir. I have this in my yard.

This shower drains out. It's not poison because no one uses that anymore. Why would it be? I think we set the context during the stream that it was what happened during, like if we didn't hit it, we wouldn't do it. Just like we set the context for Five Stars probably. Probably. Star system.

No, I did that. You can go back and find the clip. I said before anyone, we're gonna go by stars, then percent. And then, wrong paper scissors. I said this out loud, and then you guys pretend that I didn't. No, no, no, no, you said it out loud. Thank you, Zipper, for the thumb up. Get fucked. No one thinks you didn't say it. What is... ooh, my God. Sexo?

Only Homer can do that. Homer Sexo. I think the confusion, Ludwig, comes Homer can do that. Homer Sexo. It's mid shots. I think the confusion Ludwig comes from you said that. But then we all said, no, that's bad. But then we started just going by percent. No. Yes, we fucking did for some time. No. And then at some point you reverted it. He reverted it when we weren't in the room.

It was some fucking coo shit. Exactly what happened. It was like Hong Kong. He closed the door. Young gravy was in here. It was like Hong Kong. He closed the door. Young gravy was in here. He's like, Young gravy, by the way, it's stars. Isn't that cool? He's wasted. He's like, yes. OK.

He's like, can I just have the shot caller again? Yeah, I need a shot, please. Please. Y'all mad I laid down the law. You didn't lay down the law. You made up the laws at Gwent. So you so you think I should have done something different? I think you should have abided by the democracy of us three. Now that I think about it, you didn't lay down the law.

You waited until mom left the room so you could ask dad. And dad was young gravy. I'm saying you drop your phone. I'm not looking. It's not like a guess. I'll never look. I'll never get it. If it's down there, I don't fucking need it. Is it down here? Oh shit! Did you look at that? No.

His phone's in his fucking lap, bro. I didn't look at that? No. Oh shit. His bones in his fucking lap bro. I didn't look at it. You can pick it up. You can pick it up. Damn. I'm gonna punch you in the face after this. Wouldn't go well. Wouldn't go well? You gotta be with that ring. That is dude. That thing is fucking big.

That'd be branded right across your skull. That is cool. I'd put five booms. I think we need romantic poisons. Not just ones that hurt people. We need ones that are like Romeo and Juliet. Does it still- so it doesn't hurt people? Maybe the poison olympics.

Do you think love potion was just MDMA? Poison olympics. What does MDMA come from? Oh maybe- you know what the real poison is? Probably TikTok. Do you know what MDMA comes from? Probably TikTok. Probably not being celibate till marriage. It's like kind of a poison. Why are you laughing so much over there? You're just jumping between two different conversations. There's only one it's like kind of a poison. Why are you laughing so much over there?

You're just jumping between two different conversations. There's only one happening, man. It's all poison, man. This is poison. Is it poison? Are you listening? Dude, the yard, the yard, poison for your ears. When is it a potion? I want a book. I want a book. That's a- when it helps you?

A potion? No, because a potion can incur malice. It's made in the laboratory? Did you not know this? No, I thought it was from malice. It's made in the laboratory. You not know this? No, I thought it was from a plant. No, you fucking didn't. Here's why. Yes, I did. When the rainforest fundraiser happened with Maya,

she was like, so the rainforest is good because the plants, you can harvest them for drugs that cure cancer. It could help treat cancer. And you next to me turned to me and said, is that real? And I said, yeah. And you said, I thought it was just made in a lab. Which that's what I'm saying. So now I thought everything came from plants, but it turns out some are from labs.

Yeah, some things are not all the same. There are some things that are different. I thought it was a catchall. You thought it was a catchall. I thought I had to learn something new. And now it's both. It is both. It's both sometimes.

Why? Do you want to do Molly now? No, I wanted to do the plant of hemlock to give to my lover. She already loves you. More. Hemlock. Oh, that's the one that kills. I would not give hemlock to my lover. I want to be clear if anyone's watching, cutie.

Jesus Christ, bro. I would not. Nervous trembling. My brow is trembling at the party. Vomiting, dry mouth. Do not poison cutie Cinderella. I'm not going to poison her. Just give her a potion.

I'm gonna give her a potion Yeah, when does it become a potion? When it does good stuff, I think. No, I just said that but she told me it was poison. No, no, no potions can't be poisoned. Potions can incur malice. No. No. Are you kidding me? No. Then what's the elixir then? Elixirs can only be good. Because they're all fucking confused. Elixirs can only be good. Elixirs are for res. Oh, they oh, yeah They also last 30 minutes. They're red. Elixirs can only be good. Elixirs are for res. Oh, yeah, they also last 30 minutes. Elixirs can't have malice, I think. Potions can, and potions can always do.

I think potions can't... A potion can never help you. A potion can be ambiguous. All rectangles are... Yeah, squares, yes, squares. So the scale of morality goes, elixirs, always good. Potions can or cannot be. It depends. Poisons, always bad. This is easy. I think that's fair. He goes elixirs always good potions can or cannot be this it depends

Poisons always bad. This is easy. I think it's fair. Okay, I think potions lean good Otherwise we wouldn't abbreviate them pots. Can I get a pot? Yeah, you're right I think that's true. You wouldn't pop a pot if it could be bad for you. You wouldn't say that so frequently It's a gamer thing. Okay For my birthday, I want a book With all look leaves and what they are. Do you want to? Why?

Do you want us to like get the leaves? I want like a leather bound book to thick. Alright. And when I open it, thud, thud, and I can scroll through and find, you know, Titalis con campus. Yeah. Peruvian tree shrub that makes you. You wouldn't read it, bro. Would you? Yeah. Would you open this book?

But it's sit there on your coffee table. Invasive questions. OK. That means no. So what we can do is make the cover. I had this happen to me and I do find out and I'm not happy when I find out. So I made a book called The Story of Ludwig and it was just five foot nine repeating. That was 300 pages. Yeah, that's an expensive prank.

I found out. It's actually not expensive. I learned. How much longer after receiving it did you find out? Within minutes. No, you know why? Because you probably flipped through it. I flipped through it. We got to somehow make it so if he flips through it,

we were trying to do the least amount of work possible for this stupid book. How come we don't measure babies by height? Just ounces. We did when Braun was born. What? Like how come it's like, oh, I had a baby. He's one foot two. I think it's because they don't stand straight.

Dad, I can't stand up. We can stretch them. See, that's the problem is when you say stuff like that, imagine now you have a baby and you're saying, we can stretch them. We can stretch them. Because you wouldn't want to have a small baby. I got to find out what Heidi is. You look up the Greek guy who stretches people to two meters.

That's what you are. You know, you could I think you could have it like a baby on a marionette like puppet. Yeah. And you can stand it. That'd be fun. Can one of you guys have a kid so I can tie strings to its limbs? No, absolutely not. Wait, wait, wait, wait.

And then make it dance. No! Wait, wait, wait, wait. Going back to an old Ludwig thing, you said that if you have bad posture and you hunch and then you work out a lot that it makes you taller. Yes. You are now taller. So if a baby isn't straight up and down, that's its height still. I know, but it's... So we got to know what its height is. No but it's so we gotta know what it's height

You know cuz we're talking about one-offs with people with hunchbacks. That's a rare occasion most of us Can a baby have a hunchback? Do you think it's not rare? They're a gamer hunch Back That's where a gamer hunch they can just stand up straight you were talking about this in the context of yourself Sometimes they can't though Cause I've been growing, that's irrelevant You have not been growing

I am also one off cause I'm so growing You're 29, you're not growing anymore Thanks for getting the age right, and I am Yeah Don't try You're old That's why you get an A Dude, 29 is crazy. It's not crazy.

It's crazy. You're closing in. Closing in on what? You're gonna be 30. The end of your life. We don't even know if that's the next number. We don't even know what's next. We don't even know what you fucking, maybe I hit something different.

And you don't want to get into the biology of it either. Dude, when Trump's out of office, you're gonna be 34. When Trump's out of office, I'll be 33. Ooh, that sucks, dude. And he saved TikTok. And he saved TikTok, and he stopped Red 40 from being in our food. Yeah. And he almost threw up the fucking.

And he sick hailed. Red 40 is not in the food anymore. Yeah. Procrusty. That's a crazy name. Attacked people by stretching. Yeah. He would even make them shorter by chopping them off or stretching them

to make them sick. The cereal jelker. Nice. He jelks you. He jelks you. And in your sleep. And you wake up.. He jokes you. And in your sleep. And you wake up with. And you wake up.

Oh, he's a joking of someone else does it. He makes a potion from. Yeah, it is good. OK, it should be like a tooth fairy. But for like fables of people who come in their sleep. What is the tooth fairy delivered to you? Come. No, I'm saying like you have an alternate

that comes in the middle of the night. The chapters just look like a barcode right now. It's... Yeah. This episode has no... Our brains are still fried from the other day. No tangible, followable story. Well, okay. The Tooth Fairy arrives when you sleep, steals your teeth, keeps them for herself.

You need like some Icelandic or Nordic name. So is this like a Nordic Tooth Fairy that comes in the middle of the night and sucks you off? Yeah, Grintuslo. He'd come and suck you dry. He wouldn't suck you dry, actually. He would leave it all over you. But you got visited by Grintuslo because you were a bad kid. You gotta put like KY jelly under your pillow. It's all over the place. Grintuslo uses his mouth at the beginning but then finishes you with his hand.

You must finish your vegetables or Gruntusla will suck you dry. Gruntusla is just Icelandic for Heather Eye Deep Throat. I found out when I was five it was just my dad. That was the worst day of my life. Did they make a movie with Dwayne the Rock Johnson? Now this is a good question because in some countries the Tooth Deity was beavers, cats, dogs. Is he an animal or is he like a man?

I think he would be just a regular human. Like a guy. You know the Tooth Fairy, you know the movie where the Rock is the Tooth Fairy? Yeah. He kind of looks like that. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. Grant Tooslow looks like Dwayne'm saying yeah, and too slow looks like He's like a six five man with wings on his back Any only if you're bad does

So you must be good for a line yeah, and he has You go well, sorry you don't want it. Why not? I mean, it's kind of... No, because as a kid you're like, oh no, Gratuzlo this sucks. I'm not eating my veggies because I really don't want to, but I really want to Gratuzlo. You wouldn't want Gratuzlo to come. Yeah, you'd hate it so bad. You'd hate it so bad.

You're weirdly into ejaculated Gratuzlo. Gratuzlo. What do you mean I'm into it? I've been a bad boy. It's not my choice. I'm just a victim of the system. He's getting thrust on me. I wish they changed it. I wish they changed it.

I'm making my dreams so hot. I would take other punishments. Have you ever had a nocturnal omish? You're yourself, because you have them all the time. Where the dream was just like weirdly like... Innocuous or what? Yeah, like just a, like you dreamt about a cabinet and then you woke up and just blessed it.

Yeah, 100%. You remember one specifically? It's not even about the content. The thing about the Nocturnal Emish is like, you don't last long. What do you mean? What does that even mean? Like something could happen to you in a dream

and it's like the Lonely Island song. It's like... Did you just use your pants? Yeah, it's genuinely like, you know, I brush up against a desk and then I woke up and I'm like, Oh, I'm going to sleep. And it's everywhere. What if you like- It's very light. What if when you fall asleep, you like stuff your penis into something that if it got hard,

it would wake you up like an inception. Like a saw trap? You need like a trigger. So like, yeah, like a saw trap like if you I just wake up my penis cut off I was thinking it wouldn't have to be dangerous well I was thinking it like an alarm clock a device that closes the penis hole have auto code you a stop why cuz you're about to go on a diet right about how my employee yeah yeah should use his skill to use his skills to develop a tool that helps you Specifically to what?

His boss Specifically to the tool as well Stop jizzing yourself in your sleep Which do you think that it's helping your productivity to do that? No Then this is for the company I'm sorry, I'm saying it doesn't help my productivity It doesn't

When you come in your pants your productivity slows down No, it increases. No. I'm doing it while sleeping. In that case, auto should develop a tool to increase the amount of ejaculation. To induce not sure. See, that's way worse. That is way worse.

Oh, it's worse? They can say it because they don't work at the company anymore. I mean, but legally, can we take them out? I'm against this. Legally, can we take them out? We've done a lot of reads for you. We got some. Lilo, we want you. We need your API, essentially. Can we can we take them against this legally can we take them out? We've done a lot of reads for you we got Lilo we want you we need your API. Mm-hmm essentially

What would we do the API we would hack the system Access protocol interactivity we can add we can add patreon integration. We can do all sorts of awesome shit There's no integrations with my nocturnal emissions We can do all sorts of awesome shit. There's no integrations with my nocturnal emissions. Dude, dude. If you're in the Patreon, you get a notification if you've had one. If you've had a nocturnal image. It's down. Okay.

What's down? My foot. He always put his foot down. Oh, okay. The bit's over? It's just like the child-patches thing though. Does that mean we go back to poison? Yeah, we can go back to poison. I'm glad the child-patches didn't happen too.

Yeah, pro-lite. It really sucked to send the bus back, but... Yeah, I had to back to Poison. I'm glad the child patch didn't happen too. Yeah, pro- It really sucked to send the bus back, but- Yeah, I had to arrange all that shit. It's annoying that you set up in the first place when I told you no. I set the rules on how the wheel is spun and how the kids are brought- Dude, I gathered those kids from all over. That's weirder. No, it's not.

I'm sorry, should not every region be represented in SoCal? No, I don't think so. Okay, so only nepotism child patching kids. Why would it be nepotism? I didn't say that either. Because it goes to the highest bidder. You'd I don't think so. OK, so only nepotism child patching kids. Why would it be nepotism? I didn't say that either because it goes to the highest bidder. You'd go to the cheapest region. No, you'd go to the cheapest region. It's the highest bidder.

I don't like the way you're saying who's bidding the kid or the parent. The bidders line. All 20 of those kids were from Chino Hills. That's a good reason. Chino's fine. That's a great region. Yeah, Chino Hills has one of the best high school basketball teams to ever exist. Why do you know that?

Ball brothers. All the Ball brothers are from there. Chino Hill Ball Brothers. The hell are the Ball Brothers? Oh my god, bro. Really, you don't know? Oh, like the V brothers? Like the three-year ball?

Yeah, the Levar ball. I didn't know they were there. They were the best high school basketball team of all time. I thought these were like current kids in high ball. Yeah, the ball. I know they were the part of the they were the best. I thought these were like current kids in high school. No, I know. I was like, why do you know where they go to school? Uh, I don't I don't keep up with high schoolers that much. That much. You said about like, what about like Jacob and Kyle?

And I don't talk to Jacob anymore. Jake, you mean Jake? Jake, Jacob, Jacob High School. You know, he's graduated this year. Who the fuck is Jacob? You mean Jake? No, Jacob. He's graduating this year. Who the fuck is Jacob? I don't know. I don't talk to him at high school all the time. He was cool. Obviously, I don't talk to him at high school all the time.

Dude, we were in a Discord chat with him. Well, you were. We thought it was weird. I was going to be on the Dream Subreddit in a fucking couple minutes now. We played Valorant together. You played Valorant with high schoolers? Oh, you want to chime in, Diesel fucking Derek, ball ass Diesel. Diesel Derek is a man. That's not a horror.

That's not a horror. He's had his bar mitzvah of course he's a man. He stepped on the glass and the clugging thing and all that shit. What, Gretusla just came for his first visit. He's a man now. That's not the marker of a man. Oh, then what is it? Gratucila goes to kids. Gratucila goes where the evil lurks.

Yeah, Gratucila's evil. Gratucila's putting in overtime at prisons, I bet. I think we should poison Gratucila. Don't say that. I'm gonna stay up at night and pretend to be sleeping in bed. And when Grantusla comes, I'm actually gonna sleep. Like a kid staying up for Santa. Just hoping Grantusla comes in.

And when she wraps her hands around, I got a little bit of hemlock. I'm sorry. I'm in bed like, I'm gonna cheat on my test tomorrow. I hate my fucking mom. Dude, imagine poisoning Grantusla with your penis. I'm gonna shit on my test tomorrow. I hate my fucking mom. Dude, imagine poisoning Grantusla with your penis. Yeah. Dude, I looked up a Monster Cock subreddit yesterday. Like big ones?

Yeah, they're crazy. Like real human big ones? Yeah. Are you just browsing large dicks in your free time? I was. Why? I wanna see a big nigga. You're just kidding.

I wanna see where we've gotten. I wanna see what we're working with. Yeah, there's grinders out there. How I chalk up next to them. And the future is gonna be jelkers. One day they're gonna hit the top of the subreddit. Well, you have to be naturally gifted with like a 13-incher and then gel. And then start jelking.

Which is crazy shit. It's like life, man. It's like hard workers, unfortunately, get beat out by people who have raw talent and hard work. That's tough. Yeah. Yeah. It's the SFATs versus the Mango. Yeah. And let me tell you, if Mango, if his sources are true, he could be on that subreddit. If the business is true.

Is that what the sources are saying? Well, yeah, Mango is a source. Mango has often talked about how he has a small penis. He told me one time it was huge. Well, he tells me on stream all the time. He's like, I saw it. I heard he has three. I saw it. What's mango mango's meat like?

It was in my it was in my own pool. Oh, yeah. Remember that? All the boys are hanging out. Mango's penis is out. You're right. And feel just stripped full nude. To be honest, I forget what it looked like. Hmm. Couldn't have been that memorable.

Unfortunate. I have a picture of him from the other side on my phone. I remember that. I got men in black, I think. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe it was the penis itself. It looks like Bigfoot.

Running through the forest. It is a Bigfoot. Well, that's awesome. We had a good time the last couple of days together, haven't we, fellas? I enjoyed it. It was good. I enjoyed playing rock band with you guys. People say...

What? Best performance of the night. Come on. Everybody wants to rule the world was the best performance of the night. Oh, come on. I am not gassing you up. Dude, what about me speaking fluent Spanish? That one is racist.

That one we have to... Yeah. That's why the pod isn't up anymore. Can I just say, I would have killed that much harder, cause I do believe I did kill it. If rock band didn't break up the, you know how hard it is to read Spanish when it's only two letters at a time.

Yeah, it's like a syllable. And they're breaking up all the, I'm like, what is the word? Yeah. Yeah, that's why. It is why. I can read Spanish, I don't know what the words mean. But I can-

Singing a whole song in German. Dude, singing when you don't know the song... It's so miserable. It sucks. I went back and watched... I had to take so many. I went back and watched the Do-Host oil upsesh. And it was too erotic.

I won't lie. There's gonna be some awful content made. I've been saying so frequently, like, keep your fucking pants on. Alright, you started it. Excuse me? You started it with taking your pants off. Oh yeah. Yeah, I had to.

And then Aiden hops in. Do you want to show the world it's awesome natural bulge? And then Young Gravy and Baby No Money start getting dirty on the camera. What are you afraid of? And I'm trying to keep this shit fucking PG. My mom was watching. God bless her heart. No she wasn't. Yes she was.

My mom was watching. My mom was watching. I think Oiled Up Baby No Money is great content for moms. Fucking sue me, Woke. I'm not disagreeing. Gotta love him. Sue me, she was. My mom was watching. My mom was watching. I think Oiled Up Baby No Money is great content for moms. Fucking Sue Me Woke. I'm not disagreeing. Gotta love him. Sue Me Woke. Also moms famously love Young Gravy. Zipper's Mom's Wontor. Oh yeah. Yeah, you think that's what I'm really scared about. Wait, so this was just a great stream for moms all around. Yeah, well, I mean good for them, but bad for me. Why? Because my mom is watching. Your mom is a mom. Yeah, but God bless your soul.

You just don't want to think about your mom. I don't know. You know she's a virgin. Enjoying yourself. Your mom is not a virgin. She's had sex twice. Never. Two times.

There's been zero times. I'll keep saying it. So you think about it if you keep this up. Oh, my God. You're Jesus. You're Jesus Christ. I'll forfeit this hand. Insurance.

I fold. I rarely take it. I rarely take it. Counts bad right now. I fold. I rarely take it. I rarely take it. Count's bad right now. Yeah, I'm just feeling it. People keep saying stuff like, you guys should do this more often, but I think the fact that we never do stuff like that is why it's special.

Makes it special. I think it's why it's so fun. I definitely agree. I definitely agree. We also almost cracked the same amount of viewers as Tarek Stream, which is very cool. Okay. You keep saying that. Yeah. What do you mean? Well, we almost got this of viewers as Tarek stream, which is very cool. Okay! Why are you saying that?

Yeah. What do you mean? Well, we almost got this. What does Tarek have? What does Tarek have and what do we get that you think is going on here? What are you talking about? What are the numbers? Give me the numbers, Mason. Uh, 18k for Tarek.

Slightly under 18k. Then we had more. No, we had like under 18k. No, because his stream had the same amount as ours. He had more at the time. I kept checking. I was like, who are we beating? No, because his stream had the same amount as ours. He had more at the time. I kept checking. I was like, who are we beating? All right. So you're looking at just the Yard channel and then just Herrick?

No, I just look at Twitch. I don't give a fuck about YouTube. So you weren't even looking at the yards. You were just looking at my Twitch. What about YouTube? And then you're looking at just Herrick. If you're a YouTube viewership members, you're a cow in a slaughterhouse. You're a cow in a slaughterhouse.

So there's 15000 people. Oh, another 15000 doe-eyed cows with a saw going into their head. Don't talk about YouTube viewers like that. Yeah, they saw their head in half. They saw their head in half? Not off? No, they don't. Oh my god. What they do, they electrocute them in the forehead,

and then they cut them. First day at the slaughterhouse, I cut my cow down the middle. Oh, damn it. They don't slaughter damn it I can see two halves of its brain They electrocute it in the head You see its awesome cow skeleton for a second This is what they actually do They do that and then they turn it upside down And the blood comes out

It's gross I watched it You asked Food ink Food ink? Is that the documentary? Oh the neck Oh upside, they hang it I'm sorry I thought upside, they hang it.

I thought they put it on its back. I thought its feet were up. I want to do that with you when you're done. When you're done? What does that mean? When's he done? We'll figure it out. I would like to know that. Yeah, you would. We all would I guess. Kind of like an us type shit type vibe.

Does GranTusla ever visit for one final ride? GranTusla always hopes another ride will come. Is it like... Doesn't get to determine your ban though. He says goodbye. Not for one week. Not if you never stop believing in him. Yeah, I've never stopped believing.

So normally when you grow up this stops happening to you, but it's never stopped. You can still hear Gruntusla's bells when he comes in. For me it's never, I always hear Gertuselas. Guys, Aiden moved out. What? I know, and I'm glad that he said. What? And his room is fucking empty.

He left an empty room behind. Empty room? Oh, so you want a new roommate? So I need, nope. Oh, are you, okay. I could be your roommate. Don't need it, don't need it. Pass, you know.

I do need a guest room though. And because I need a guest room, I need a new mattress. And so, you know me, Helix Sleep fan, your current user, I just went to a store. I tried every single one in one day. I slept on every single, I know what they all feel like. You laid on every mattress at the store. I'm gonna give you the method.

You guys ready? Oh, you went to the Helix Sleep store? No, I went to like a sit and sleep and they have all the Helix mattresses. I see, I see. Oh, okay, cool. Because they have it storefronts. I tried all of them. So tell me, side stomach, what do you guys got?

What are you guys working with? So for the bed that you're going to get me, I prefer one that's stomach, but my leg is up. So I'm like half stomach, half side, side of the bottom half. Dude, OK, Twilight Lux. You're going to go with the Twilight Lux. It's perfect for side. It's good for me?

Yeah. Slightly more. It's slightly more front. Buy it for me, for my room. Won't do that. What about you? What do you side stomach? Tummy. Tummy? Tummy arm up. Yeah, it's slightly more for me for my room won't do that. What about you? What do you side stomach? Tommy Tommy Tommy arm up. Okay. Okay. Ooh

I'm gonna say you're gonna you're gonna go midnight Luxe. You're gonna midnight Luxe. It's a little bit cushy, but I think it'll be good He moved out. He doesn't need the mattress. You wait doesn't get well Mattresses I but I want in which which Helix Sleep will stop Grand Tusla from coming. God. Is there one with the defense mechanism? Is this the sunrise? That's a part that's on the sleep quiz. Believe it or not. It's the last question on the sleep quiz, but they do provide. So if you if you don't want to take my guide, you can go yourself.

The Helix sleep dot com slash the yard. Look at the 20 unique mattress options they have. I've tried all of them. Why can't we live with you? Sleep quiz. The yard look at the 20 unique mattress options they have I've tried all of them Sleep quiz I'll say I'll say the elite it's it's it's very comfortable. It's too tall for me So if you don't need a tall mattress, maybe try something a little thinner If you go to helix sleep comm slash a yard you get 25% off site-wide and two free dream pillars of the mattress purchase And that means also you'll be entered in a raffle to become Nick's new roommate.

Yeah. Well, what about- And I got a twilight for my room, so- What about if it raffles me? What the fuck are you even talking about? You don't get to live with him. You don't get to live with me. You can't.

Produce Slip comes to me every night and I need defense. And he's gonna come to you unless you go to helixsleep.com slash the yard for 25% off-site ride. He comes to me so often. She? I think you need to get back to the episode, buddy. He? Wait, this whole time? Dude, I want you to to get back to the episode buddy. He? Wait this whole time? I want you to live a long life so you can have the oldest nocturnal emission of a fucking human being. I'm probably getting close

I can't be that old. There's got to be some record setter. Zipper go to Reddit Go to Reddit Zipper. Don't make Zipper look. Zipper go to Reddit look up nocturnal emisses It's a subreddit just for giant cuffs That's gotta be an awesome Nocturnal emisses gotta be an awesome subreddit Dude I bet people are dropping it You're grinding it away or trying to get better at it? People are probably dropping like cups Dude I looked at

Dude what? Cups? I told you about Izzy gets hosed right? Izzy gets hosed yeah That was Izzy gets hosed, yeah yeah yeah. That was not Nocturnal, that was Broad Daylight. Yeah, it was Broad Daylight. That was just an amish. It's banned?

No. Wow. Yeah. Wow. If Elon Musk owned this website, we wouldn't have these problems. They probably shouldn't have posted all those pictures. Typical woke Reddit. In less than 24 hours, they're gonna post that they're cooperating with Donald Trump to get him back up.

It probably got banned during the Reddit purge. Yeah. Dude, we were going through random reddits the other night on Discord, and we went to rslashkitkat, and there was a guy who had taken it out of the package and said, why isn't it just a bar? And we made an account just to say, you are lost. There's a lot of really awesome subreddits. We went to r slash Rick Owens. Some of the worst outfits on the planet.

Oh, come on. Dude, r slash Rick Owens. Come on. It is. To be fair, a lot of the worst outfits on the planet are in this room with me and Slime. Let's go. At least you included yourself. Don't say with like contempt as if you don't know. At least you included yourself. I know I'm there. I'm getting better. You're not. My trajectory is looking up know at least you included yourself. I know I'm there. I'm getting better. You're not my

Included yourself I think these are made of like recycled textbooks. This is fucking Brooks, bro. That's a running shoe. The bottom is beat Yeah, but it's a running shoe. What do you want for me? I put up a work in you puts work in sorry We were doing a stream today me and Aidan with Doug, where we each had to draft a stock. Five total people. With real money? With real 10,000. Financial geniuses?

Of our own money. You put up that much? Well, you don't like get rid of it. You don't lose it. So what happens after? You could. You could. You could.

You're investing it. It would be hard to lose all 10,000. You're investing it and after a year, you take. Guys, awesome prank idea on Aiden. Please. idea on Aidan, please we tank the stocks of We take the sauce of 10 major companies Aidan went very safe He's like God. He's like worse stocks like Not taking your risks ever you actually weren't allowed to pick index funds Down throw the index fund and then bring rabbit.

I actually I don't know if you had this problem, but I I forgot we were doing this. So I hadn't prepared or picked out anything prior to this. And oh, and then also I am the only person in this group of people not streaming who doesn't have their Twitch chat giving feedback and making suggestions for them. Oh, so I'm just blindly trying to pick stocks in the 10 minutes between when my Mario Kart Wii mogi ended and when the stock thing. You're dual. You're multi boxing.

And I'm just trying to just squeeze out a couple to a couple banger stocks and what my list is And then no matter what I pick in the call at the whole I was like yeah I think I'll pick Delta Airlines everybody's like ooh. What are you doing? But I realize about five picks in that no matter what the pick is they're gonna say Yeah, they just say Delta's good. They just added Shake shake shack on their on their plane. See they got Reasoning you'd give somebody in the call would say that's already priced Roasted because the first two stocks he picks he picks Amazon and then he picks Nintendo

the first two stocks he picks, he picks Amazon and then he picks Nintendo. That's a good pick. And then Adriok was like, are you just looking at things on your desk? Yeah. Yeah. That's a good pick. I heard you picked Trump, dude. I picked Trump coin. That's probably going to, I don't know, bro.

So here's the thing. You got blood on your hands, bro. I actually think my portfolio, no, I have the only ethical investment fund. Wow. Because. Stance comes online to before his 10th pick and he's just like, guys. I'm not buying my portfolio, no, I have the only ethical investment fund. Wow! Because- Stans comes online before his 10th pick and he's just like, guys, how do we feel about for-profit presence? Dude, you're- Stans and you are the same guy.

What do you have? You got something- you got like Chevron. What? I got Boeing. You got Boeing? I got- because they wouldn't kill another guy. They- Of course they would kill another guy! No! What's wrong with you? They won't kill another guy they of course they would kill another guy

They won't kill another water won't kill. Here's my big three. Here's my big three Okay, I got Nintendo Which I didn't know they were publicly traded Famously I didn't not on the New York Stock Exchange. No on the what on the Japanese. Yeah Oh Nintendo cuz I think so she's gonna outperform it drop people think so. Oh. Nintendo, because I think Swiss Shoe is going to outperform. It dropped. People think Swiss Shoe is not going to do well. I think it will. Alright, this one's a little controversial. Trump coin.

Yeah. Okay, but yeah, I did for the Mio. Going in, I was like, I'm going Trump coin. Why didn't you buy Melania coin? I don't think it's tradable yet, because it's not available. And I wouldn't want to... Then the third one I got United Health Care. Dude, what the fuck's the matter with you? They're not going to get hit twice. They're not going to get hit twice. You think there there's like night immunity after the mafia? You're not allowed to get money.

All the health care companies are the problem. And if the way I'm looking at it, you know, the health care did the most so far. I look at it differently. They volunteered one. The assassination assassinations probably stack. So I went with Cigna, a different health care company, because I was like, no assassinations last year. They're clean. Michael Jackson was the biggest he ever was after he died. Thank you. I don't think that's true.

He's the biggest he ever was. I don't think that's true. He hit number one posthumously. He hit number one. He did it while he was in the first time in 20 years posthumously. That was posthumously. So wait, are you saying United Health Care? They're about to have a big glow up. They're about to have a big glow up. I didn't know who they were before.

Yeah. Everybody wants to go. Now low key you're like, I do need health care. Actually, that right now, that's the first healthcare company that comes to mind. I could name a second. Dude, I'm imagining, you know, there's like, what's a life of a day trader like TikToks? It's that, but it's Aiden and it's nothing about day trading. It's just him playing funky Kong on Mario Kart Wii.

Life of a mogi player. No, but it says day trader and you're just playing Mario Kart Wii all day and getting mad. Today we're going to be holding our portfolio and I'm going to be booting up. I'm going to be, dude, I'm going to look for a shot. I watch a TikTok like that. It pissed me off. It was like, it's the life of a 35 year old father who wants to be stronger than his younger brother. And he goes into the story about his younger brother is like six foot five,

250 pounds and ripped and wants to be stronger than him. And his secret is going to be biohacking. And and the whole video he just took vitamins and then went to work and then went home and he never worked out And I went that's not gonna work. Well has anyone tried it. Yes famously that one guy Which guy Brian Johnson? Oh the guy who's trying to be young forever Yeah, most Americans that guy works out. Can we stop capping? He looks like he works out every day. He does look amazing. He does look amazing. Yeah.

Amazing? He looks amazing. He doesn't look as good as the Asian dude though. Is there another Asian dude? Does he look like a biohacking Asian dude? Can you look up 50, 57 year old Asian guy who actually looks way younger than 57 but he is 57 for sure. All one word.

Dude, all one word. Wow. I remember when... No, not just all one word. Praise. No, don't do that. Dude, I want word. Wow. I remember when I just saw one. Oh, don't do that. Oh, no, he looks like you left a piece of pizza in your wallet. I was kidding. OK. I was like, I can't tell. I don't think he looks bad for his age. He looks good.

I think he looks fine, but it's like he looks weirdly like wet. Yeah. OK. That guy is 57. What this guy looks so good This guy looks like this guy looks like he is good at rock climbing and mailing. He's turned. He turns 59 this year What this art of this article is a year old tight as fuck. Yeah, he's born in 66 I know he can you can you just search his name into Google and go images. He looks in Sane, I don't think he looks 20, but I do think he looks like 33. Yeah, god damn. That's what he do. I think he just got great jeans probably plastic surgery. Oh

My god, look at his body. I know wait that one says here's his secret to look 25 That's not what I looked like at 25 Yeah, you don't look like that now. I don't drink in the water in the Pomona house, dude That he looks no, I was fucking great. I know I know so this guy mugs Brian Johnson sure like Time by side. Yeah, Brian. Brian Johnson. Yeah that one fucking mauled by this guy Oh, I do think it's a genetics game. He's made out. He did Brian Johnson looks like he's a toilet He's just like shiny and like white. I think it's because his genetics are predisposition to make him look like the whale

when he's 60 and he's fighting against that. And he's a yeah. Yeah. He's the currents are stronger. Yeah. So for what he should be, he's killing. We should do this to Aidan. Biohack him. We should try to biohack him. I want to make you into that. You're becoming our blood boy.

Which one do you want? I want your blood. Biohack me. All right. Let's biohack him. I want to make you into the- Either that or you're becoming our blood boy. Which one do you want? I want your blood. Biohack me. Alright, let's biohack him. I've decided. Thought about it for a little bit. Yeah, put me up. You're getting older is weird, man. I'm like looking at my face now and you can like see more lines and like my tits like are drooping and like all kinds of shit. That's not a age thing.

Oh, come on. They used to be perky. They didn't used to be perky. Don't fucking hurt. Don't take the breast away from him. Don't take this away from me. He had an awesome rack. I had a good perky tits and now they're fucking stupid. You're young.

I mean, but you're you get to the age where it's like you're not 20s young. You can just get ripped. You're getting some lines in your eyes. It's beautiful. I'm gonna get wrinkles, but I know I look good. You look great. I'm just saying getting older, you feel it. You can see it and you can feel it.. It's beautiful. I'm going to get wrinkles, but I know I look good. You look great. I'm just saying getting older, you feel it. You can see it and you can feel it.

And it's interesting. I think you could peak at 35. That's crazy to say. I believe it. It's just not true. I believe it's a hard to hear you. In shape. If you're in shape, of course. Yeah. But I think like you're able to get more in shape at 35. You could. I think you're I think you're athletic. Isn't your athletic peak,

it's like early thirties. Yeah. Yeah. That's why I think 30. Yeah. Oh, no wonder I haven't gotten there. Yeah. I think 32, I'm gonna like start dunking.

That's not, yeah. Yeah, maybe. With no practice. I think I'm just gonna figure it out. You'll probably get there. I think I just need to eyeball it better. I feel like the thing is like, I look at, I'm like not.

Cause you're always getting the height. You're just missing the rims. Yeah, I keep hitting the goddamn thing behind the rim. If one of you guys have a kid you have to promise I can tie strings around its limbs and make it like a marionette. No! I said no the first time. That's fine. Just say it. Look, I told you, I thought she'd say no to you coming to Mexico. I thought she didn't want you to come.

And I was wrong. Yeah, you were fucking wrong. My initial reaction to this is like, she didn't want you to come and I was wrong yeah you were my initial my initial reaction to this is like she wouldn't let you do that but I'm I've been wrong clearly about my hair yeah about you coming to Mexico yeah so some you can tie strings to the hands of my child and move them like a marionette thank you you say and you could say I'm a little baby I'm dead yeah just say it. You don't think you did enough damage with the peeing yourself thing? I'm saying you don't think you did enough damage already.

You trying to double down here? No, you don't need to bring it up again. The diaper would have fixed everything. If she didn't wear a diaper. If she had just worn a diaper it would have been fine. I guess we'll leave the hemlock poison idea for next year. Poison diapers. Well, no, because that's too like the babies will die.

If it needs to. If the baby needs to die. Oh, a baby Hitler doesn't get a poison diaper. Okay. No, okay. Okay, Hitler. No, no, no, no. Okay.

We give the poison diaper to like college Hitler because we want the art. You know, we want his bag. We can all name a Hitler painting that we love. We love the art, but we can lose the rest of it. I opened Reddit. I opened Reddit today. And I'll just open r slash all to see

what's up. And it's like 12 posts all about the Elon thing. And I'm looking at it and I'm like it just can't be that bad and then you open it and you watch it and he kind of he even winds it up He's like it's like he's starting a lawnmower. Yeah, they do that when they're scared Elons only do this when they're extremely stressed I'm just freaking out when the Connor say said, Thank God I got Pokemon Autism and not Nazi Autism.

Hahaha. Oh God. Oh, it's, it's, isn't it awesome that every social media platform is currently dominated by the right wing? Yeah, it's really fucking awesome and fun. And we, I, that's why- And comedy's legal again. I think we gotta make the yard social.

Yard social. The yard social. Poison diapers for everyone. No,'s just a more of a social media platform Which is left-leaning It's like a media Left-leaning, but it sucks. I don't know is a social media platform. Well, that's crazy. I think it is I don't think Reddit is a social media platform. Well, that's crazy. I think it is.

It is. But I don't think Twitch is. That's fair. I feel like Reddit is so much more separated from the socializing aspect. It's not really tied to your identity. It's more like forums. It's definitely not social media. I don't think forums were social media.

Facebook is. Like Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, technically blue sky. Those are social media platforms. Yeah, I understand. I think I get the ethos of what you're saying, but I think Reddit just can't not be social media, but it's not 100% social media in this definition either. Why is like, is IGN a social media platform?

No. I feel like it's more similar to that than Facebook. That's crazy. No, Reddit is all user generated content. That is what makes it a social media platform. So I'm like IGN forums, not like IGN. Oh's crazy. No, Reddit is all user generated content. Yeah, that is what makes it a social media platform. It's like, I'm like IGN forums, not like IGN. Oh, yeah. I figured that's what you meant.

Yeah, I thought you meant the journalism outlet. I think forums are social media, but none of them are like popular enough to be relevant in the conversation. I think the part that I agree with you guys is that like it sways popular culture similarly to the way Instagram might on Reddit. The social media in this definition need like a giant impact. Like if we had a yard forum with 20 diapered out users. I do. It is so disgusting to me right now.

It's like you have to suffer through like years worth of this right wing talking point of there being no space for right wing people online, having no place to get your ideas out and constantly complaining that even though the trend and the result The Fear and podcast is right there. You can just jump on and listen to Fear and and like every mainstream news podcast or like talk show podcast is like right leaning. The largest news network in the fucking country is Fox News, right leaning. All these social media companies and CEOs right leaning now, except, except maybe Reddit and except Twitch, I guess, if you can count that. It's just so disgusting to like continuously hear that talking point

even now and have the landscape be this dominated by like right wing social media messaging. And it made me particularly angry with the fires when I was scrolling through Twitter and being like, I this site is it's unusable now. I have to scrape through piles of like right wing, like dog shit, like, what like the dog whistles. I have to look at right wing dog whistles all the time on all of these places it's like I have no none of these sites like our our

good places anymore I don't know if they ever were liberal poison you know all the fucking liberal poison is blue hair they keep talking it they talk about the liberal poison and it's like no I've I've run out of the liberal poison bring it back I've only had the other poison. DI is liberal poison. Well, I think the other sites suck. What are you talking about? Blue Sky and Threads.

Yeah, they're not like- They're swagless. Fun to use. They're swagless. It's just juice. You're just missing juice. There is juice. It's because Blue Sky sort of exists to like defy

Elan's Twitter, which is like cool But you got george decay on their post and cringe like 900 times a day and it's like that doesn't Know maybe maybe maybe you guys don't feel the same way is like Twitter declining and blue sky Like having this opportunity to become a platform that more people use. It's like, I'd rather just not use. Yeah, I'd rather just get off. Like this is a great opportunity to just get off the train. Yeah. Rather than start using and like get hooked on some new social media site that is ultimately

worse for my life. I think Twitter as a concept is kind of bad. I mean before it got fucked up, it was also bad. It sucked for your brain. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. It sucked for you. Yeah, it was. No, it's always been bad in those ways. But I think there was like the loss here now or what makes it so frustrating is there was like a you.

I feel like Twitter did have a utility that the other social media sites lacked. That was very nice. Like when there was an earthquake in L.A. Yeah. Yeah. And then everybody no matter where you were in the country, you knew if there was an earthquake in LA. I feel like Twitter was fine, like, in like, you know,

2014 kind of time, because it's like, it was just people, content wasn't really algorithmically selected. It was just like you follow people, you see their thoughts. Yeah. In addition, it's like, I remember, I think it was the Crimson Blur who said it in a way I didn't, it was very succinct, when like, Elon bought it it and Elon's like, blaze your glory like you can be the you can be the king of Twitter.

Like that was the idea. And the Crimson Blur was like, no one wants this. People are on Twitter because LeBron James is on Twitter. They just want to like see what like big people and things are up to. They don't want to like, you know, and then this idea and that kind of pervades into the idea of like, yeah, you buy an account and then you like start dropshipping bro and like you use this and like entrepreneurship

and it's like, to me the essence, blow your shit off smooth. The essence of Twitter when I made a Twitter was like, okay, Instagram's for pictures and Facebook is kind of dying and like your family's on there. You go to Twitter cause you have like a random funny thought that is like a, you don't care if it materializes like, you know

Instagram picture it feels like an important post. It's like a whole ass picture Yeah, and it goes into a gallery Twitter is where you throw like ten thoughts a day into the garbage and see if anyone cares to pick them out Yeah, you're like stealing Ella DeGeneres jokes. You're posting and then like you you know, you try to say something funny You say something funny it latches on people retweet You're like, oh people find that funny and you develop, you try to say something funny, you say something funny, it latches on, people retweet it, you're like, oh, people find that funny. And you develop like a sense of humor. And for me, it was like practice, practicing ideas on the public.

There was like, there's this, yeah, you get to explore like real written, anything that could be like funny or nothing that is like purely written could really be expressed on the other sides. I feel like. You can't disseminate information in the same way that you could, whether it be a joke or talking about an article or something. You're not going to engage with that type of post on other types of platforms because the photo or the video is always going to be the focus.

I think also most social media at the time was about getting people to come to your page, like MySpace or Facebook, but like Twitter was about landing your thoughts or posts on other people's pages, like they retweet you or whatever. Yeah, yeah. And there's a difference there. But I think what fucked it all up was just

your homepage being algorithmically selected. Because then there's like, now there's a game to be played. It's like the difference between creating content for another user who found you because they like things you make and you've created a genuine follower versus a receiver of content and a creator of content. The creator is making it for the system that promotes it, and the reader is waiting on the system to provide it.

I think that's good. What part? Well, you can switch to provide it. I think that's good. What part? Well, like you can switch to following currently, right? That still exists, but people intentionally don't because that page is a lot more bland than the for you page. My shit goes back. Well, the leap, the leap, I did kind of like. I mindlessly open Twitter.

I don't think, well, what tab is it on? I just mindlessly open. But like, I think you're enjoying scrolling enough that it is able to be mindless. Cause if you really hated it, you would instantly know every time and you'd get mad at yourself if you forgot. No, I think what's happened with me,

I mean, I think it's probably true for a lot of people. What's happened with me is I open it and I just go, oh, this sucks. I just closed the app. Sure, sure, sure. And that's possible too. But I think the bigger issue in my mind is like the paid by impressions thing,

because then it's like impressions at all costs, which is a very short term content minded thing. So a lot of people are like just lying. It's just like a lot of like lying bullshit, making shit up, reposting popular shit, stealing shit. I think the same thing works. I think attention works as a currency the same way though. Like I think people will lie just as much

to have their Twitter grow even with no financial gain at the end. I think it makes it worse. I think it makes it way worse. Cause I think you will lie just as much to have their Twitter grow, even with no financial gain at the end. I think it makes it worse. I think it makes it way worse. Because I think you're right, but the way people seek attention on TikTok is a lot different. And I think leads to a lot... And there's still a lot of copying, like an insane amount.

But there's also more innovation, I think, on that app than Twitter. There's not new shit coming on Twitter, really. Social media, I think the sad sort of the death of the idea is that social media now and for the kids growing up is seen as a thing to use to like get wealth or like get on the path to like getting out the mud or something. It's not a place to express yourself. And that's all I'll get shit on my tweets all the time.

Where people are like, bro, you're just put like fucking posting for impressions. He's like, dude, I promise I don't care. It's like I've been doing this for this whole time. You just only can see this utility of social media as something to get ahead with. And that's by design because of everything kind of went that way. Even YouTube, the yard social fixes all of these problems. We clearly understand this. Oh, we're experts.

Listen to this conversation. We clearly understand. Excuse me? So we make the yard social. Boys have to pay $5, girls free. Girls free. Unless you bring two girls. Unless you bring, yeah.

Or some booze. In fact, if you're a boy and you're on the side, I might ask you, who do you know here? Yeah, definitely. We definitely leave them porn up. That's probably part of it. Porn's gotta stay. We love porn! Everyone get the gum of one bullet. You can use it on any user. Dude, we have cool systems. One poison diaper is assigned every day. Oh, poison's gonna be involved. That's... yeah.

Like the old golden kappa on Twitch. Yeah! Except you die. You die. It's an evil kappa. Poison kappa. Twitch? Yeah! Except you die. You die. It's an evil kappa. Poison kappa. Grantusla puts it on you. Grantusla's kappa and it deletes your channel.

How about this? How about this? Every user gets a tomato and the tomato represents a pixel. And on any profile you can throw your tomato and it'll make one pixel red. And users can use it on any... Elon Musk's Twitter is unreadable. They're all red pixels. Now he's fucked. He has to make a new account. There's nothing you can do to undo it. It's in the fucking code. It's like, it's Bitcoined in there.

We used the blockchain to cover him in tomatoes. The blockchain and then Web3's there and then we can sell Trump coin for Ludwig. Well, don't sell. We buy. We buy low and buy high and we keep buying forever. God bless you. You know, the loser of our contest has to go to New York, to Wall Street and run a five can of business suit. Really? Yeah. I'm not going to do that shit. Yes.

But I have a safe portfolio. I think I'm the least likely to lose. I'm also the least likely to win. I hope a safe portfolio. I think I'm the least likely to lose. I'm also the least likely to win. I hope the planet collapses. Because he has a safe portfolio? With you on it? Yeah. Okay.

So you lose. Yeah. That wouldn't make him lose the 5K. We would just all lose then. He certainly wouldn't have to run 5K. If you really wanted to go down, you should hope Berkshire Hathway gets exposed for being a Ponzi scheme. Great. I hope there's a nuclear holocaust that you survive.

I'm telling you, I'm out of your life. I'm not Walmart. Walmart survives the nuclear holocaust, for one. Do you think Sam and his family are in a bunker? I don't know if they do. Who are you kidding? The fuck are you talking about? They're not bunkers on bunkers.

I'm not saying the Walmart family is going to die, I'm just saying Walmarts are going to be around. Wait, do Walmart is an institution, Lovett? Do I have Chevron? Yeah. Oh. Yeah, I don't know if it's Chevro, you have some gas company, I don't know why. That's not a good company.

I know. But you specifically said- Most of them are. You said I don't want Chevron. They do bad stuff. You said I want Chevron. You made the sandwich. That was because I couldn't get in on Saudi Aramco.

You wanted Saudi Aramco? You wanted Saudi Aramco? Well I said, okay give me Saudi Aramco. You can't trade that one. And then I was like fine, I'll take China Petro. Can't trade that one. You can't trade them because they're state owned. State owned Petro companies.

Oh, Chevron! Did you get Monsanto? I didn't. I could have grabbed Monsanto. Yeah, you can grab it for your personal funds if you want I guess I hope you guys you should have shorted him. I hope you lose everything shorted No, I hope you guys lose the most we all lose everything or just me and your little game

Little game you play If we all if I said to slime everyone took $10,000 and put on a roulette wheel He'd be fine. We don't get to look at the result for a year. He'd be like, great, that's wonderful. Do you think there's a difference? Between what? What you guys are doing and playing Blackjack. Yeah, I think Blackjack is worse. What I'm doing is ethical.

Blackjack, you're more likely to lose the buddy play Blackjack, probably. That's the cons- yeah. It also goes to the casinos, which are evil. They're going to send Aiden a picture of the missile he helped build. Your dollars went towards this missile. B-156-857-2 missile.

This 562 NATO ammunition. Well, Atriox... It actually targets children. It heat-seeks children. It can tell by their blood. Whoa! Looks like 5000's going up. Isn't that the whitest kids thing? The baby-seeking bullet? Yes. Baby skull-seeking bullet. Yeah, yeah. Baby skull seeking bullet.

Atrioc did both because he put a thousand into draft gigs. Oh my god. Dude, that's dark. And I'm not saying any of these companies are good, but I was sitting there and I was like it's crazy that you can publicly trade like a gambling company. Yeah, man, they skirted a huge loophole. Gambling was so hard to do online for so long. And then sports betting and then sports betting just fucked the whole game up.

Yeah. And my old man missed out. And they said, what if this was easy? Here's how much it would make. And then someone went, wow. Holy shit is a lot. And we get five percent. They're like, obviously, dude, I wonder what the numbers will be when it's updated in terms of how much money the average American spends in gambling.

Cause it's gonna go up. Oh yeah. Australia was number one by far. Their per capita degenerates. But I think we're gonna close in. Why is Australia, do they not have regulations and shit? They have very lax gambling laws. They have a really, really strong casino lobby in their government.

Like the casinos in Australia have an immense amount of political power. And they also are like open later with alcohol than bars. That's crazy. And then every bar just has a slot in it. And the Greyhounds, and the Virtual Greyhounds. What the fuck do they call them? The pinkos? The touchies? They have Chad in a room, just up and all his blood is being siphoned and turned into money. He's on a hamster wheel just fucking playing blackjack. You can't gamble with that guy. I was just talking about this.

He'll put his money on the table because you don't have any of his plastic money. He'll be like, all right, that's your bet and this one's mine. And then he loses and he's like, all right, you can pay me here. I'm like, oh man, I don't know if that was my money or not. No, it's like, I get it. It's for the ride. Me and that guy got the same DNA. I've been so sober, so clean.

Yeah. Off gambling. I actually want to go. I haven't gambled since SwitchCon. I've been 18 months clean. 18 months? That's two babies in the oven. That's one for every naked cowboy. Amen.

I'm trying to make it two. Dude, we should have done Ram Ranch in the charity stream. I think it was on guitar at Rock Band. If I saw it, we would have played it. It's a rock song. Yeah. I think there's actually only guitar. I don't think there's any other instruments. Dude, you're right.

I think that's the only way he can make that many songs is that there's just one instrument Yeah, and whatever royalty-free yeah, and he's in jail now, so What was your favorite song tonight? To perform of it the end or Bohemian Rhapsody there's so much heart in it Probably which is a cheap answer. I got so much better at Rock Band as it went on I got way better like I could sing and play. You didn't. I did your bad.

Was until we started drinking. No, he got better. Yeah, I absolutely did. He was 98 percenting medium songs. Yeah. Singing? No, on bass. No, on bass. And then we started drinking.

And then it went and then it took a dive. Yeah. You're like, I can't forward tilt in this game. Okay. I I need to correct something that was totally wrong I said singing the hardest instrument rock easily. I thought it was the easiest For some of us, I think it's not dude. Sorry, it's time to be clear. You're the greatest performance But your score wasn't good. Excuse me? Your score wasn't good. My score was awesome. It was okay. I had 90s.

I think the difference maker is just... Oh, but the stars weren't there, so I guess I'm a pussy. There you go. Now he gets it. I guess maybe I don't know about the stars, but your percent in that song was pretty good. And I feel like everything just came down to whether or not you knew the song. Because isn't it like... Knowing the song is crucial.

You can go into knowing the song or not knowing the song on guitar, on bass, on drums. It doesn't matter. You just play the notes on the screen. But if you don't know the song to sing it, you're fucked. It's so much harder. I liked the song where Aiden was so drunk. He was singing the lyrics from the song before in the song now. Oh yeah, he was talking about the... what was that? Stone Temple Pilots song?

Smelling the dogs. There's a dog that smells like a dog and a woman. There were some crazy songs in there. A lot of them about the Chinese. The Chinese and the poor. There was a weird amount of songs about the Chinese. Dude, Old Rock is like... That was Foreigner, right?

What did you say? You said Oriental Girl? I think it was about China Grove, something about an oriental something. What do we you can't say that. You know, there's still source with that in it. I was just singing the song. That was art. If Lil Wayne said oriental, would you say it? If Gold Digger was on there.

Dude, dude, old rock is about like how mysterious the Chinese are and how all girls are 17. And she was just 17. You kept saying that and it wasn't in the songs, but you all girls are 17. And she was just 17! You kept saying that and it wasn't in the songs, but you did keep saying And she was just 17. It was in one of the songs. But then there's like, there's just a lot of old rock that does that shit. You're like, you guys are gross.

Well yeah, then they grow up and you find out they're creepy. You grow up and you find out they're still doing that shit. Dude, there's so many fucking butt songs. Except for David Bowie. Like that, like, Nice Shot Man or whatever. Hey man, Nice Shot. That song is... So many songs were ass. But the hits hit. Were you guys intrigued at all by which challenges on the wheel were actually, like, actually the worst versus what you thought were going to be really bad? I mean, Frozen Fingies was the frozen fingies was the worst. Frozen fingies was terrible. I couldn't handle it. Paintball was the worst. No. I would have got hit by paintballs. Paintball wasn't. Yeah, I wonder why, squid.

Wait, what are you saying? He's saying that the squid costume protected you so much that you didn't feel the real pain of it. That's not true. Look, your welts were worse than everyone's. The evidence is there. Go welts for welts. But one of them hit him pretty fucking hard. That's not true. Look, your welts were worse than everyone's. The evidence is there. Go welt for welt. But one of them hit him pretty fucking hard. That's not true. I got shot four times. I still have it. I have it still?

Up, up. Lift higher. Oh yeah, you do. You do, you do. I wanna see the other one. They look like cigar burns. Oh my god. You heal pretty fast.

I still got it. The paint, the thing with paintball is that it- You gotta smooth back right now, I bet. It hurt a lot. It hurt a lot and then it was over. But the problem with the other ones- It hurts a lot. It hurt a lot and then it was over. But the problem with the other ones is- It hurt so much. I was sick from the hot sauce like an hour later.

Yeah, oh the hot sauce is the worst. He said that he will never do it again. I'll never do that again in my life ever. I forgot the hot sauce is there. I donated a thousand to not do it. Yeah, and you could have done it before. I thought like seven times in my life. We all donate a thousand to Skid Row. You technically did. before. I thought like seven times in my life I hated it. Did we all donate a thousand?

I did not. You technically did. Oh. I tanked your thousand. For what? Oh, cause it was a third paintball. Another paintball, another paintball. So I guess I technically didn't. But.

Yeah, dude, the hot sauce, it was like, I've never done that before, and I was like, how bad could it be? It can be bad. It's really bad. Did you take a shit? Uh, I haven't shit yet. Oh my god. You might be good then. It he was just it made my tummy hurt so bad. It hurts in three stages I got sour like six times. Yeah, my mouth's so rich man. It was funny how many times he hits sour. I was like, I would just hurt it was like sandpaper in there. Okay. I think we had equal sour alcohol

I don't know if it was cuz I was drinking but I have a psycho Confession psycho Aiden confession. I kind of liked the sour candies. How many you have? I had two or three. What color? I think I had two or three as well. Blues.

No, blues are good. They don't know that sour. Yellow is fucking... There's a moment when you're sucking the sour, when the sour is gone, and then the inside has like a syrup that's very sweet. That's only the blue ones, yeah. That one's good. That's why I like them. Because I like tonguing out the sweet sweet. That's only the blue ones. Yeah. That one's good. That's why I like tongue it out the sweet stuff. It's got fizziness in there.

But the yellow ones and the other unmarked box that it came in are just so sour and so gross. Did you even did you do frozen thingies? That one was terrible. He was like chilling with it. I did it with Ludwig. I was afraid my fingers were not going to work. I think you have terrible circulation.

That's not what it is. I think your hands are already cold. Okay, sorry Sorry when I do something better than you you don't Make sense that you just do it better You know, I mean like it's gotta be something wrong with you or like a something. I was an ice bath guy wrong from Bob I have poor circulation. So when I did it, I was like dude They're not gonna come back and it hurts so bad and Ludwig was like come on just do okay five more seconds He was like coaching me through it. Everyone in chat was like you're gonna get nerfed. Hey, shut up, dude Yeah, that's not for you. I'm a rock and roller rock stars. Don't get your awesome rock. So you just wouldn't

Well, what do you know? What do you know? I was a ice bath guy. You was? Day 100 in the I don't do anymore Dude, there's so much water in an ice bath though. That was like all ice. Is it after bro, bro died in one? No, he kept doing it. I don't know who died in one. Matthew Perry. What? What was it? The jacuzzi? Oh it was opposite It was so different. It was the hot kind of ice bath. So different. I thought it was an ice bath. Cause one is to like steal your mind and the other one is to chill Steal your mind steal your mind make it more powerful. Oh I'm able to thieve your mind. I'm a bit flowery with the language You are what was his name again? The man who comes for you at night?

Night man grunt grunt Isla. No, we already forgot it grand to the last low key I do think gay phase was the worst idea but I am glad I did not have to get Tom Kinch with a fucking reaction really to be quick wait that was the easiest women like it was the best to have on your body for us I don't want the phase look at the gay parts fine I don't want the gay part. That's what you have to do. I have an idea. My idea is that I'm gonna say it's for my homie Frank Charles. He was a gay man. He was killed by the police.

He used to throw this up all the time. I don't even know what it was. Real one though. Super gay. Yeah, he was ultra gay. What would you rather have? all the mind besides my idea obviously? It can't be I liked wampus with the tiny penis really yeah, it's cute. It's cute It's like I like this cord. I'm Kench. This is good vibes associated with it What about do you like Tom Cancher though big hairy? That's what I opened with yeah

I said I didn't like that one. You know like I think that would probably be Zipper key look at I don't there is so much I've done this oh I definitely want to see this you look up Tom Cain's rule 34 what's going on with you? This is your hearty episode what's going on with your horn up? You're talking about how you browse Reddit for penis! Mostercock! Oh wait, go- oh dude! Oh Jesus! Dude, is that Ludwig? Oh!

Dude, no. No, that's- that's- that's you! That's not me! That's you, bro! That's not me! This is fucked up! Are you sure? Look at his balls!

Look at his awesome balls! Don't take it away! I think it's Jarvan IV. Look at his- That's not Jarvan! That is not! That is not. That is just a normal-

The caption is, would love to be bred like this. I think that's AI, which is unfortunate. Can we find some artisan shit? Give me just- Beautiful coloring on the nipples. Yeah, right, right, right. Oh, dude, is that Fizz?

See, that's what I'd want you to get tattooed. I don't like that, cause he has no butt hole. Yeah, and the dick's going- I wanna see the tip. I wanna see all of the dick. Yeah, it should hang. His meat's soft in that. Hang off to the side. Okay.

Well, oh my God, don't hit me with the goat. Tom Kinch. Oh, I can't. Don't make it. Bye. Oh, no. He eats it for pleasure, too. I just don't.

I never thought I'd see Tom Ketch that way. Dude, Ryan came back from the Philippines and got me an awesome knife. Yeah, he got us all Butterboy knives. From where? From Balisong, where they were made. Mine has blades on both sides. Oh, that's what the knife's called in something. It's what the knife's called. Oh. In general.

Cool. So. Where's mine? I'm learning. I almost chopped my finger off when I was 14 with one of these. Uh, that's when I met my first love. When you were 14. Yeah. When I was 14.

Wait, yours is cool as fuck shaped. Yeah, mine's awesome. Yeah. You picked a shit one. No, no, mine's cool as fuck. This thing's, dude, it's like all greasy. And clearly hand made. I love when a friend comes back from a different country and gives you weapons.

It has a weapon, yeah. You never do that. You're right, and I fucking should. I'm sorry, you guys. Yeah, I'm sorry too. Forgive him. Forgive him because he'll grow. I have so much time now that I don't play League.

You were talking about that last night. Everyone knows and loves it. It's so productive. It is. Polite was so pissed off that you played League. He was telling me at the party drunk, he was like, I fucking hate that he plays League. I'm like, bro, talk to Shaq Drizzle.

Yeah, that's your fucking boy. Tell him that guy. And I'm like, do you even know if he works? He's like, I don't know. And I'm like, no one knows. Well, now I'm on their asses. Now I'm daily updates. Where's the videos?

Where's the videos? Where's the videos? And they'll be like, tomorrow, and tomorrow comes, and I'm there. Shaq was going around the party going, I'm Emeril One. And someone will be like? And they'll be like tomorrow and tomorrow comes and I'm there. Shake was going on the party going I'm emerald one and someone be like nice he's like I'm it's two I'm sorry. He is two. He hit emerald one and dropped. He's just like I lied. I lied I'm sorry. I'm lying. Yeah now I think about it he was drunk at his birthday party. Dude he stepped up to the table at Rage Cage back to back games there's probably 30 cups on the table and shake drinks.

It drinks, I think maybe 20 in each game. Jake's put in the cage for about 30 minutes straight. Do miles was talking to me while playing Rage Cage. He's talking. He's turning around. Not the table. He's turning around. He's talking to me. And every time it gets to him, it's a huge stack. Every time he gets to him, he turns around, one bounces it in

and just goes back to talking to me. It was very awesome. And then eventually, like the cards fall. I don't really know how that game works. And Miles loses. And I'm like, this game is bullshit. He's the goat. And somehow he lost.

Yeah, it is. It's like that modern. And the rage cage is RNG. The structure of the game is poor. But also usually because rage cage is played earlier in the night People want to lose in that spot. Yeah, because you just get the beer. Yeah Free beer. Yeah, it's not gross. It's not like a mixed cup of gross stuff like Kings Cup Yeah, which that you don't always fucking blue, bro

It's just this like unholy poison people are evil in that game because you are supposed to pour some of your drink But like they'll be mean about it Well depends. They can pour some gross shit in it. I think maybe you played with mean people. Who are you playing with? Ben Tolson? Ben messaged me he's like He's he's like my wife told me that or said that if he really tried he could be a great singer and I think it was the It made me feel the best out of anything that came out of the Rockathon and I'm like I don't believe that but it is very nice I think I don't sing very well but I just sang better than everyone else once and everyone was like

he's the holy shit Homer's the goat I think it's cuz you put your heart into it I didn't look I put my heart into it I just didn't have any songs in my range type shit type shit or your language would be in your didn't have any songs in my range type shit. Type shit. Or your language. What song would be in your range? What song would be in my range? I should have got I Miss You. I can do a Mark Hoppus. His Mark Hoppus is crazy. But I don't think Rock Band gives you that, that's the problem.

Like you can do a perfect Mark Hoppus into the mic. I'm not getting a high score, but this stream is going to be entertained. Yeah. Yeah, that is the issue with Rock Band is it actually doesn't reward great performances. It rewards great rock band performances. I think I could do a Morrissey. Like, I like a Smith song I knew. I don't know what it was.

You know what I mean? I tried to hold it. I wasn't so into it. I wasn't sold to her. I hate the Chinese. I am Morrissey. Yeah. She's a fat girl. And I'm saying she till her day. Hi, the Chinese. I am Morrissey. Yeah. Oh, she's a fat girl. She's fat as hell.

That makes her bad. He's just talking about fat girls all the time. He's so weird. I've been watching Morrissey interviews. I don't know anything about him. I'm recently interested. He's weird. Everyone likes him because he's the most awesome songwriter.

Probably ever. They don't like weird. I don't he why everyone likes him cuz he's like the most awesome songwriter probably like yeah The Smiths are ever but he's they don't like him. They like this man. He's so pretentious He's so pretentious what you don't crack top three. I don't crack top three as songwriters. What's your top three? I mean, maybe yes, like he has a lot of people I go number one Taylor Swift You should be no, I don't say that really You don't think she's a good songwriter? I don't think she's a top three. No, she's a woman. She's not three.

She's one. I think something. I don't know. Give me one line. Give me one line. I had a dream that you're sexy baby. She said, she said, I. She wears high heels.

I wear T-shirts. Oh my God, right. Right. She's the cheer captain. Um. I'm on the bleachers. Right. Yeah.

I don't know what Cutie is mad at you for, but you don't need to use the show as a way to like, make up to her. If you like, we could totally just like, cut. She is a good fucking songwriter, cause she's a fucking woman. You don't fucking- Alright, what's number two and three? Two. Two more.

Number two? Oh god. Number two. I'll go Number two stuff. Yeah, right She comes in it said just strong number yes, they were born in 1994. Nope. Nope. They're born in 19 1960 they're alive Their name Bobby Caldwell Bobby Caldwell Bobby Caldwell's two you think he's that son you don't know Bobby Caldwell's he did two of us Louie Louie famously miss oh baby uh no he didn't that's Bill

Withers. Close. What, You Won't Do For Love? Oh my God. Yeah, banger. He wrote that? Yeah, that's him. That's a great song. Thank you, Bobby Caldwell. That's two. Thank you, by the way, because that was me and him. I thought Bobby Caldwell was black for so long. I am a racist man.

What's your third one? Who's that motherfucker, Timothy Chalmese playing? Bob Dylan? Number three. You can't name a single Bob Dylan song. I promise you Yeah, I can't know you can't like a rolling stone name it Name the song okay the podcast over stone zipper did Bob Dylan ever write a song called Rolling Stone It's like a Rolling Stone. Wait, I said that at first and he challenged me.

No, you sang the song. I lost the slime book. I said it and he said what's his name. I thought it was a different trick. I know, it's the slime. You're such a dump. It's the slime where you get it right and he challenges you. Guys, that was the Yard podcast.

Stay tuned for the primo. Hope you enjoyed. Aiden will be bald for the foreseeable future until he grows back. Oh, it's gonna grow back! Jesus Christ, man. I like how it's red on the tip. Alright, alright. That's been the art. Thanks.