The Yard - Ep. 184 - The Worst Outfit EVER...

Episode Date: January 29, 2025

This week, the boys talk about the biggest game you don't know about, a new show that Slime & Nick are working on, and how Ludwig is wearing the worst outfit of all time... Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Alright, so I get it. Wait, wait, stop. We're not going to continue the conversation unless Zipper controls zooms in and crops out the crocs. Why? Are they special? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, in the middle of the night and day. This is 2 p.m. Which is nighttime somewhere.

It's the night of the day. And she says, I need you to help me. Well, first she just says, I need help. Which I was a little worried about. There was no photo. And then the photo came in and she said, I need to know if this is a good outfit or not. He says, it's a good outfit.

I say, it's not a good outfit. And then he said, that if you remove the crocs from the equation, it's a good outfit. Okay. And she said the crocs need to be removed and also without them, it's still a bad outfit. And then she asked for my input. Oh, interesting. So that's why he wants the crocs out of the equation. So I automatically was like, well, Ludwig, you can't just say,

take the crocs out because that's part of the outfit. That was the whole conversation. My mind went straight to business. I was like, we must have dropped the Crocs sponsorship. They must be out. You know, you know, you know, you know, he shifted the goalpost. You know, she was like, she said something about his outfit. He's like, what's a fine outfit? It's a good outfit. And then she was like, no, it sucks. And he's like, minus the crocs. Minus the redneck truck on your feet. First thing I said is, I get the crocs aren't all that. By the way, I get so many compliments. More than you get in a fucking week. On these boys.

On these bad boys. Pro who? Kids? Spider boys? Cutie's nieces and nephews. They do this at your feet and you're like, yep, another one. Yeah, Dixie walks in and she goes, Really cute crocs. And I go, thank you. Because I think Cutie's like a special education worker.

These look tight. I get so many looks in the year. They're ironically funny. Yeah, they're awesome. But they're not like, they don't make it like a good outfit in the way that I think you want it to be. When you're like, oh, don't always griffin me. I feel like you think that it's like, okay, no Crocs.

What do we think? I think it's fine. I think it's a great outfit. I think the comments can get involved in this one. The comments should get involved here. Here's what happened is worst outfit of all time comes back to me after messaging Nick and she goes, he said it was bad. And I said without the crocs?

And she goes, yeah. And I was like, and I was like, what the hell is that all about? Okay, there's a lot going on here. I'm wearing fine china. Opinion time. So I'm the men's workwear guy of podcasting. Yeah. Everyone's always asking where that fucking jacket came from.

That guy should get a podcast. Yeah, I think he's just afraid of showing his face because people want to kill him. No one knows what he looks like? No, I think they do. I don't think they know what he looks like. Because if they knew what he looks like, everything would change. Because then he would have to be up to the standard that he projects on other people. I'm pretty sure he is though.

It'd be really funny if he has like a Star Wars t-shirt. That's what I mean. Or he might just be like ugly. And then it's like, no matter how you dress. Oh, kind of right. That way, I want to have a cargo shorts pick. Dude, a cargo with a high rule. Yeah, yeah, cargo with a high rule. You know what I like about him is that he posts examples of what he does like.

Yeah, that fixes it all. If he was if he was a pure, he's only critical. It'd be bad. Yeah. All right. Here's your die work. Where? So here's my issue okay he's got two very conflicting patterns on the top and bottom. What? And the bottom ones. PAYDA! The bottom ones they aren't camo but they read as camo like people think he's wearing camo. Yes I thought that.

But they aren't camo they're like a they're kind of like a acid dye or like a paint splatter type of vibe. They cost like $1400 I don't know it was free I don't know I can't fucking pay for my shit ever Okay Actually yes It was fucking free Judy got him for me for Christmas

The pants are kind of baggy but the top isn't like It's like you know normally with the baggy pants you want to do like the t-shirt So it's kind of thin up top big down bottom or the opposite big ass jacket Thinner pants or something You want to look like a- But he's kind of, you know, he's kind of just like- A condom. He's just kind of like, you know, so in my opinion I think it's a bad outfit.

I was thinking about fashion the other day. Well you were thinking about fashion the other day? I was thinking about it, yeah. When you put this on. The other day you thought about fashion and now you're here. Gay. Really? That's what I thought.

You think it's gay? He's gay. But Mater Crocs- Faking gay gay? He's gay, yeah. But Mater Croft's straight. Also gay. Actually. I think you were thinking you're gay. I think and then I was thinking... I was thinking kissing boys would be that bad. He was like, I'm gonna hang out with boys all day.

I'm gay. I've been looking at dicks on Reddit. I'm gay. Dude, low key. This is Ludwig's Awakening. I was thinking, why would we like hanging out with our bros? Why don't we just freaking hang out with them all the time? All the time, like in some sort of like union of love and physical love. Start kissing him back and out. I don't know. Maybe it was stupid, I guess. I want to understand, because I'm not trying to rag on you.

Please. I am. You're not trying to rag on him. I'm trying to get down, I'm trying to light a fire on you. I want to know, like, when you pick out this outfit, and you're like, I like this outfit, this is good. Do you, like, is there, was there an option that you were like, no, I don't know. I'm trying to get down, I'm trying to light a fire. I wanna know, when you pick out this outfit, and you're like, I like this outfit, this is good, do you, was there an option that you were like, now I don't want this, and then you put the other thing on, or are you just putting shit on kind of in chronological, I see them order?

Well, okay, yeah. So I put on a different pair of pants, and I went too cold, and then I switched to warmer pants. Which were these ones? Which is, these are my warmest pants I have. And then I went- So pants are on first? Pants are on- Your shirtless are pants? Yeah, almost always. Okay. And then shoes

I had running shoes and I was like, I don't want to tie those then I had dress shoes and I was like I don't want to tie those so I went with Crocs. Okay, right. Okay. And then- This is actually making a lot more sense. You just have a version to like do like tying shoes once again like a child. So then you saw a shirt with buttons you're like I don't want a button that I don't want a button that You saw a jacket with a zipper I don't want it And then I saw the sweater and I was like that looks nice Whoa

I see so you're tunnel visioning on the items Pause Pause I wish you were ugly man It's like if three different people chose your outfit If you look like a dog bitch it wouldn't it would matter but it doesn't matter No it still wouldn't it wouldn't it would matter, but it doesn't matter no it still wouldn't matter It doesn't matter dude you know

Basically in a onesie with the American flag on it and you're fucking As hell I sell a bad bitch and dress like that I don't think it's all Riz often off the straight Riz off all ready you have the Riz if you were ugly I don't have the Riz and I'm not ugly. I think he'd need the If you were ugly. I don't have the Riz and I'm not ugly. I think he'd need the Riz if he was ugly. You guys don't remember my dating app phase? It was crazy.

No, but that's because- But imagine that, all right, imagine he looks like me and he's throwing out shit like that. I'm bumble. Like, that's in so- lifestyle, bro. I've never been made for those. Wait, is this the- is this- is this eyes cropped out of the picture? Is this the whole picture? How's the whole picture?

Oh my god, I wish this was your bumble picture. Just send it back in time. You're next to a trash can. I'll have you know, I'll have you know, at that Target, I bought a bunch of electric Christmas presents for QD's family. I went crazy, I was doing trash time. That sounds like a last minute type of endeavor.

Yeah. Yeah, cool. Yeah, busy. Yeah, busy guy. What can I say, Target's got it all. Busy guy, you know what? Everyone loved the crocs. Everyone. Yeah. Cool. Yeah. Busy. Yeah. Busy guy. What can I say? You know what? Everyone loved the Crocs. Everyone loved them. They did. At the menswear section. I was picking up some good fellow sucks. I was at some, I figured it was called a streetwear store in Mexico. It's like two floors. They have a bunch of like nice stuff. Tu primo. Not babe. You're a babe. It's by the full zip. Were you a babe by the Kanye West nazi hoodie? At the Mexican Bape? It was at the Mexican Bape.

You were a bape in the full zip school? No, it was a consolidated item from a variety of places. Dude, if Aiden walked, can you just type in Bape full zip? No, I don't wear bape! He would be at his desk staring at his computer, to see it because it's full zipped up. I never had a babe face! And you'd be like, what? If you zip it all the way it's a no.

I wanna give you one of these dumb ass hoodies and you're gonna fucking wear it. Oh my god. I do not want to wear this! How is it different? How is it different? Dude that has a face on it! I hate- model. Wait, you could be like a shark no I hate the colors I hate the designs I have always hated babe look thank you can't even find a modeled photo cuz everyone's too embarrassed to do it you hate the colors it's like a good Call of Duty camo no I hate camo Not one time have I... Maybe... Aiden comes in wearing this shit.

I'm not gonna know! Oh, we lost it. Alright, joke's dead. Look, I think... I think you just grayed. You shouldn't be zipping it up like that. I think you just grayed Aiden. That is something Ludwig would buy if it wasn't so like culturally

big. I think he likes the idea of looking like a cartoon monster. Yeah. You lost me. I would buy it. I don't know. You wouldn't buy it. He would get he would get a babe sponsorship

somehow. You lost him. I would. I don't buy shit, bro. Yeah, you're awesome. Thank you. What the hell? It's awesome.

The best podcast ever. Twilight shirt. Twilight shirt. You buy that? I did buy the Twilight shirt. Love that shirt. That's fire. The best podcast ever. Twilight shirt. Twilight shirt. You buy that? I did buy the Twilight shirt. Love that shirt. If you buy it on stream, it doesn't count.

Was that like an Instagram scroll or was that like a stream thing? No, that was on Walmart. No way. You were at Walmart. Yeah, well, sometimes when I go on trips, I don't get enough outfits. And then I got the Twilight shirt. You do have this thing where you don't pack for trips. And then you're just like, yep, I'll buy things there

Let's list out the things Ludwig thinks is gay One, carrying bags or packing things Two dudes kissing each other Two dudes kissing each other Packing, America thinks that's gay Three dudes kissing each other Mater Crocs Yep, yep, three dudes

Yeah they're gay though Three dudes kissing each other What about lightning McQueen crocs? No cringe Okay, I don't like the lightning McQueen's are too colorful. Yeah, okay. Look I I'm gonna live much longer than you guys because cortisol is the killer You're saying you never stress no stress, you know, it's stressful packing Right rushing to pack your bag or not even. And Adi's gonna die twice as fast because you offload your stress to him. Yes sir. I pay him to die early for me.

I don't mean to... You're gonna absorb it. ...throw the menial worker under the bus. Okay. What you do... What Nick Yangling do. But you have two PAs. That you... and you send them to do shit all the time. You have two PAs.

And you send them to do shit all the time. And you're telling me that you don't want to spend time packing your bag. I'm just adding two and two together. What's he gonna do? What's Nick Yingling gonna do? Just get Nick Yingling, hop off POE, and come pack my suitcase. I can't imagine. You gotta explain to Yingling that there's an airport, which is like... Can't imagine you had to explain the England. There's an airport which is like Always drives to Arizona. Yeah, what do you mean? I can't pack liquids

Birds in the sky text metal like they don't scream They're so giant. Terrifying. You should travel with a knife. It makes sense to travel with a knife. To come to danger. I packed three laptops in case. What do you mean with the pain? You know what I do love about Nick Yengling is all the all conversations with him are like that. But if you is so much a grace, the topic of insurance,

he turns into a genius. I love Yingling when he's an expert at something. I got a car, I got t-boned recently I instantly messaged Nick yingling I said Nick yingling I forgot to get his insurance and I fucked and he was like well actually he just knows so much about insurance. That's where he should come alive though like next time you get in an accident message him he should be be like, oh, I don't know what that is Yeah, like in a spot where you're not sure what you're kind of scared and he just shit's on you He gets his vengeance dude yingling. He went to Yuma for a melee tournament and that day I think cuz the my phone was listening I got a Yuma subreddit post which is like clearly. Okay, the microphones on they're on but it said a Nine year old girl gets a Trump tattoo on her face in Yuma.

And I sent it to Yingling, I'm like, bro, I didn't know you were there yet. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Let's go. That is crazy. I know.

Wait, is there a picture of that? Yeah, you'd probably find it. Is it like, is it like a- If you Google what I said, nine-year-old Yuma Trump tattoo. Is it like Mike Tyson or is it like Joker? I think it's on her neck. Oh that's not even her face. I don't think a nine year old. Oh my god here we go! Here we go! I don't think a nine year old should get tattooed permanently with a president. I don't think nine

year olds should have political opinions. I'm tired of this shit. I'm mobile male. I don't know how you act. I'm mobile male. I'm mobile male. I don't know how you act. I think she should sit on the pot. She should sit on the fence. She should get a politically neutral tattoo. She should get a fucking Congress tattoo. Uh, hey Nick, can I deep throw your cock later?

Cause that's what you do. That's what fucking you do when you come to the pot. Yuck. When would I ever say that to Nick? I would never do that. You come to the pot and you go, Nick, if you have kids, can I punt one across a soccer field? I would never do that, dude! All sorts of violence and crassness.

I would punt one across a soccer field, dude. You would say shit like, Nick, do you have a new movie you like? Yeah. What is it? Okay. Normal thing. Yeah, you do shit like that. Gross, disgusting shit.

What are you talking about? I would ask people their favorite movies, you'd threaten our children, just annoying shit all around. Wait, you're so fucked up in the head. And I say a 9 year old cannot have a neck tattoo and I'm a villain. Yeah, because I'm tired. I'm tired of you taking these fucking- What? What stances? Stop asking for pictures of 9 year olds. That's not what I'm asking for.

I'm begging for it. I'm asking for a picture. I'm begging Zippor to find it for me now. Why you have to beg now You can just I'm begging for him. I beg for a man to show me the nine-year-old, okay You know you're trying to phrase in the worst way possible It's bad faith it look you know what it's bad faith Brian You're saying is a badass fucking kid with an awesome tattoo you want to see it. Oh, I'm sorry Is it scary you? awesome tattoo you want to see it oh I'm sorry I don't want to scare you I don't want to scare me I'm not scared of the kid I'm scared

I hung out with nine-year-olds all day yesterday is that true? yeah well not only nine I was like seven six sure yeah you were younger too I was an eleven year old nine was more of a placeholder to represent all the ages it's like a median maybe did you have them like do math at each other like what was your we did reading

oh? we did reading green eggs eggs and ham. They read to you. Yeah, they read to me. They'd correct me if I got the words wrong. It's a long book. Do you know what? That you know, when Aiden Ross couldn't read the word fascist and like someone who did an analysis and I was talking to someone

who's actually she's a priest, not preschool teacher, like first grade teacher. She's like, yeah, the way that we like started teaching kids how to read is way more fucked up than the way we all learned. Like they changed it. Instead of phonics, you like, it's like a whole word system and it's like making people actually dumber. So she's like, yeah, it's pretty normal.

You have to learn whole words at once. Yeah, it's a weird thing. You have to like, you have to look it up. They were too hooked on phonics. We gotta get them off that shit The kids are addicted to phonics bro We gotta put them on whole words We gotta put them on whole words

It's GMO shit But yeah, it's kind of interesting and they're like the person who like made up this ideology that got taken up is like being sued for like bad education Oh, that's awesome The kids are getting brainwashed. They're getting rid of Australia. They're getting rid of it. Yeah. Well, they're getting rid of Australia. The kids are going to Mexico.

I thought it was Greenland. What? That we're getting rid of Greenland. Well, that's an American politics thing. I'm saying this is not a political thing. This is a young education thing. I was reading I was reading a book. I was signing out all the words. And it was going through all the continents.

And then when you read, it has like, this is America. And you trace your finger through, it's a puzzle, and you get to see all the things in America. And it was going through all the continents, America, Africa, South America, Europe, the other two. And then eventually it gets to Australia, but it didn't call it Australia. It called it Australasia.

Australasia. And I've never heard that before. Maybe it didn't call it Australia. It called it Australasia. Australasia. And I've never heard that before. Maybe it was just a typo. No, that's not a typo. This is a printed book. This is a printed book. Which famously doesn't have typos. Thank you.

Can we look at no books. Can we look up Australasia? Australasia. Because when people refer to that continent, they sometimes mean the surrounding the surrounding islands and things well that's part of it no a Part of Australia. Yeah, I don't know it's part of well Oceania I guess is the other turn wanted to be more well that's a region for video games Ludwig Yeah, Oceania no Oceana is another term for the content. No, it's a region for video games

It's not just a video game thing. Not just a video game. The video game thing. Then why have I only heard in that context? Because you only play video games most of your day. Zipper? Zipper, stop looking up nine year olds and look up Australasia. Zipper, we're going to take away that medal that we got you for the Rockathon. We're going to take that away.

Congressional Medal of War. It was a purple heart. Because he got wounded. Zipper couldn't stop jacking off while we were doing this fucking thing. No, no, no. You did spell it wrong. Zipper Australasia. You gotta close Minecraft, bro.

You gotta fucking watch our podcast. Yeah, see? They changed it! Sub-region of Oceania. Sub-region of Oceania. Yeah, see? They changed it! Oh, so this is why. They changed it. Sub-region of Oceania. I didn't know this, but apparently they changed that bitch. I mean, it says 1756. Huh?

Maybe they're just using this term now, and it's been around for a long time. They might have come up with it a while ago, but now I'm saying it's in the kids' books. I mean, if it's in the kids' books, that's what the kids are going to call it when they take over the world. And you think that the kids, it's Australia erasure. I think it's Australia erasure or Oceania erasure, yeah. Cause the Cook Islands aren't in this. And we're calling the Gulf of Mexico Pomona now. We should. We should, God bless, amen.

I would be fine with that. Can we buy it? Can we afford to buy the Gulf of Mexico? I don't, don't we own a good chunk of it? No, I mean us, the podcast, the yard. Oh, weird. You didn't know what I meant. Sorry. I'm looking at this. I just I don't think he knows how much money we got.

No, we got we're rolling in it right now. I can see how much money we got. How offensive could it be? It's good. I think we should go in like how you you know how everyone's bidding on TikTok? Yeah. We should bid on the Gulf of Mexico. Sneak in while everyone's distracted by TikTok. Certainly the people who can afford the Gulf of Mexico

can't afford to buy both, but it's the same group of people, right? This is demand for TikTok skyrocketing. So the supply of TikTok is going down. There's one still. There's still one. There's still one, but it's- And the demand for the Gulf is going down because they don't have enough money so we could surely get a bit in well

Well, you know what I learned is rich people auctions are different like well They said what are they buying you get invited to that shit not even that rich, but like the eBay auctions in my day It's like you snipe it last second you get it. You know everyone's turned a blind eye, but in the rich people auctions They you put it in a blanket. They bring up like a guy on the stage, he's got a bag on his head. Yeah. Well, you're at the rich people. Yeah.

And you have to bring your paddle, you raise your paddle. The guy dances a bit. So how's it different? They'll explain the age of the guy, which is trends to the lower side. But anyway, if somebody bids, then there's a new timer, it resets.ets every new bid so you can't snipe it anymore

I think that's fine why is this a rich people thing? Is this just a better system? It's not a better system. Ebay is better. This is just how bidding works on everything that is on eBay. Yeah, well, I like eBay. I like the. Not who only knows bidding contextualized through eBay. I like eBay. Which is fine.

You know what? eBay is bad. No. Vito. I actually think all bidding's bad, because it's buying with extra steps. But it's like, they have bots that just bid on your own item. No.

They set a number. They don't want it to be under. And then you bid, and it automatically rebids. That's a person. No, it's a bot. That's a guy, bro. You're telling me. That's HaircutDude11. That's a person. No, it's a box a guy That's haircut dude 11 He wants these when I've been on the legend of Zelda four swords adventure when I was a kid Mm-hmm, and then I got instantly outbid after putting in $25. Mm-hmm. That was a man. That was a man

A man or a robot. No, not necessarily. I don't know what you guys putting this on the box cuz I used to do this Do with your own items? Yeah or a robot? Well, it might, no, not necessarily. I don't know why you guys are putting this on the bots, because I used to do this. With your own items? Yeah, it's selling items. Did you take that copy of Four Swords Adventure from me? I'd sell an item, I'd log into my second account, and somebody would bid 10 bucks, I'd be like, it's 15 now. Why wouldn't you just set it at a price?

And eBay loves this, right? Because for eBay, it'll just say you win your own item, you pay the fee. Because if you set it at a price, then you have to deal with stockinging fees because you don't know how long it's going to sit in your warehouse. Listen, I will say that warehouse when you were my mother's house. Yeah, it's so much more expensive than when I was a kid. If you bought it, you would have made me you should have bought 100. I would have made about $430 maybe because eBay people set the price and they can just put whatever they want. What's the cable that comes with that game? Oh, because you can hook it up.

Yeah, you can hook it up to a Game Boy because there was another Zelda game. Dude, there we are surely not the first ones to think about that eBay has been around for 25 years. Yeah, we have not. They have solved this. Really longer, right? Like this is probably one of the first things they thought of and we're sitting here like we're fucking smart Yeah, we are we're not smart wicked smart We you're wearing this fucking you go and you go into the you go into the bidding little window and you type in the like The power effective iPhone turn off message. Oh my god

It's 30 years old? This isn't a fucking joke bro, it's older than Aiden. It's 29 to be clear. Slightly younger than me. That's all I'm saying. I don't like that eBay came out and shortly after I was born. You'd just say 30 in passing conversation. You would've. What did my parents buy on eBay? Why did it come out and then like 12 months later I was born?

Yeah, they bought something romantic. Sibian. I feel like- They bought a 12 months later. I was born. Yeah, they bought something romantic. I feel like What if they you bought semen on eBay and then you got pregnant with the same Famous people see me You would have so many kids. I know, you pay them. You could bid on all these famous people semen. Yeah bro. Like Cameos, Jizio. Do dreams come? Jizio. Do dreams semen on eBay would be crazy.

So imagine if they had their testimonials. Imagine you're a celebrity who don't fell off. You're George Lopez, right? Yeah. You fell off but like adults love you. What is this? It's different look of semen. Oh my god.

It's just lubricant. It's not semen. Load boost. Oh and you get load boost? Oh let's scroll up look of semen. Oh my god. It's just lubricant. It's not semen. It's not semen. Oh my god. Load boost. Organic. Oh, we can get load boost? Oh, let's roll up to the load boost. Dude, you guys didn't want to do the Viagra episode. Could we take this instead?

Boom. Did we just take a big fucking warm load? We gotta see who can fill a cup. Yeah. Oh my god. Hey, we're watching porn the whole time. Till we get all ready. Back up.

This idea sucks. Gizio rules. Hell yeah, Gizio. Yeah, why don't we get off Gizio? Because he wanted to cum and cum for each other. Well, he brought up the C. I wasn't gonna let you talk. We brought up semen and then we started thinking about cum and cum. What's Gizio look like?

Okay, so you want George Lopez semen because you want to make a baby that's also famous, right? Of course. So you bid on George Lopez's jizz. Oh yeah? And you have to be a girl. What? Why? To bid. Because guys aren't going to use it for good.

No, no, Vito. The guys can drive it for the price. That's the fucking free market. There's no robots. There's just guys who put in bids. Also, if you're a die-hard fan of George Lopez, maybe you put that on your wall instead of like a signed jersey. Yeah, or like a fad-ash.

OK, well then, can girls post products on Jizzio? Yeah, why not? They can post their own semen. Oh, okay. No, wait, wait, wait. I was like, how do you put it on the wall? Eggs! I get it. You invite your friends over and you're like, you know, watch this, flick that little light switch over there.

It's a black light. And you see all that semen on that wall? That's George Lopez's. You make splatter art? Yeah. And it says run! It's George Lopez's splatter art. That's why I's why I and we and there would be more demand for you know a service like that That goes to like the hotel room that Ray J and Kim K had sex and what finds all the semen that's still there

Oh, yeah, they like cut out the whole drywall and then there's like a black market jizzio Jizzio dot onion jizzio could work You pay premium and then when the kid turns 18 the person you bought it from shows up guy who wants to be on Jesus is dot I oh yep Yeah, that's huge You can play the game with a snake that eats other snakes when you get bored Yeah, when you're waiting for your and you play snake now this could work I'm sure this is a thing how much you think guys think my fucking nut would go? No, they wouldn't take it. What?

We've gone through this. I'm mildly famous. Haven't you already tried to donate your nut? They wouldn't take it because it'd be green. How would it be green? Why is it green? Is it just you? Didn't you donate sperm or did you donate positive?

As the only pro in this building, I can tell you, no, no, yes. Wait, you don't think I can donate me sperm? That might be the meanest thing. Is it only hair related? No. Well, it's hair and height,, you don't think I can donate me spur? That might be the only hair related. No. Well, it's hair and height and you don't hit the hair requirement. And because they would look at you one time and they'd say it's not coming back. If you decided to do home insemination.

What? Zipper, you Zipper, what are you doing here? Zipper, why are you looking at home insemination? Use the camera. Zipper wants to be pregnant and I think we should support that I do too because then we'd have another worker He won't shut up about in vitro lately. Yeah, he wants his eggs to be filled I tell you guys an embarrassing story. Yeah, I had a dream last night and you know, so I Dream, you know we did the rockathon and we were trying to get get celebrities or anyone, an artist to come on, and one of the people

we were kind of trying to get was Hailey Williams from Paramore? Oh yeah. So I had a dream last night that, I think I was at school, but I was me now. I was at my high, I college, but I was me now. And I get a call from Hailey Williams and she's on my caller ID, so she's in my contacts.

Right, you've talked to her before. Which doesn't make sense in what's about to happen. But she calls me and she's on my caller ID. So she's in my contacts. Right, you've talked to her before. Which doesn't make sense in what's about to happen. But she calls me and she's like, hi, is this like Nick from the yard? And I'm like, oh my God, it's Haley Williams. Holy shit. This is dark. It means you stalked her and correctly added her phone.

And then I put her number in my phone with her. And then you were contact. And I'm like. Can you hear the gap in her teeth? Yeah, it's whistling as she talks. She oughta fix it. Either she did and she's beautiful. Also, I have a gap. Yeah, like's whistling as she talks. She ought to fix. Even if she didn't, she's beautiful. Also, I have a gap.

Yeah, like Morpheus. Like Morpheus. No, we know. It's not like Morpheus. It's not like Morpheus. Don't do that. You look like a golf ball. And I was like, oh my god, don't.

No worries. It's all good. You couldn't make it. She's like, I feel so bad. I saw how much you guys raised. It's so awesome. She's buddy-buddying with me. And I'm like, oh my god, this is fucking awesome. It really is. And I'm like, oh feel so bad. I saw how much you guys raised. It's so awesome. She's buddy-budying with me. And I'm like, oh my god, this is fucking awesome.

And I'm like, oh, don't worry. And she's like, yeah, I'd love to hang out still if you guys are down or if you're down or whatever. And she's like trying to single me out. Like she's coming on to me. Oh my god. And I was like, yeah, we can get coffee. And she's like, like a date?

Okay. And in my dream, I'm like, Haley, I have we can get we get coffee. And she's like, like a date. OK, and in my dream, I'm like. Haley, I have a girlfriend, I'm sorry. Yeah. And even in my dream, I couldn't I couldn't bag Haley Williams. Are you saying your dream is the environment in which you can like let loose? I get my dream. I'm allowed to like cheat on my girlfriend, wake up, not tell her about it. Yeah. And even in my dream, I was like, no, I have a girlfriend. She was like, oh, and she was heartbroken.

He's making the opposite play. Girlfriend happened. She's mad at you. I had a dream that was like, no, and she said, I'm gonna get pictures and I just look at them. So much. Hey, Williams. And meanwhile, they're all throat. This guy's talking about how his girlfriend pissed all over the damn bed. She did. And you know what she told me? What?

Oh, no. She I do. I knew she'd get back way harder. Yeah, she told me. And I feel like I'm being used as like a political weapon. Would you like I'm like a proxy war. I can't believe she told you this. She said, well, yeah, jokes on him.

I was like, she messaged me about something else. I'm like, I heard you peed the bed, you know? Right, because you're trying to get her retaliation out. She messaged you like, hey, how are you doing? You say that? I heard you peed the bed, loser. Yeah, when I was here at the office because of the fires, she did the yoga.

She taught me how to do yoga. It was very sweet. She and Slime did yoga in the ball pit. Yeah, that was cool. She said, oh, she always comments on the show. She said, you can totally make our baby a puppet. When I want to make your baby a marionette and like use it as like a for a show. She's not cool with that.

She said to me that it is in my DM. And you also said you're cool with it, so that's two approvals. And she said, and then I just said, her do you pee the bed? That's crazy. And she said, yeah, it's fine. I peed the bed and wore diapers till I was 11. I'm over the shame. What he wasn't willing to say on the pod.

Wait, wait, she wore diapers till she was 11? He said I'm over the shame. Cause she still peed the bed when she was 11. Holy shit. She wore diapers till like school and stuff? Uh, no. Just at night. I hung out with an 11 year old yesterday.

They're older than you'd think. Above diaper age. Uh, yeah? Wait, hold on, hold on, hold on. Don't shrug! Don't shrug and purse your lips! Old enough? Stop!

They're, well, not- Don't shrug and purse your lips when you say shit like that. Like you're Mike Tomlin. First, where do you you're Mike Tomlin. First, where do you know about Mike Tomlin? More than you would ever know. You know that, what's the Japanese TV show where the two year olds, old enough? That is old enough.

Old enough, old enough in the US, but it's 11 year olds like walking across the freeway in Houston to get to the grocery store. Yeah, they're working at like their slave Starbucks job because the economy's fucking, because it costs $60 for a coffee. I want Americano. All of it's your kid and he's on Marionette's wires and slimes controlling everything. That'd be awesome. Anyway, she said what he wasn't willing to say on the podcast is that he won't have bald sex.

She keeps, she keeps asking. what he wasn't willing to say on the podcast is that he won't have bald sex Sorry, sorry no, let's guess The podcast is he won't have bald sex Do you think bald sex is sex in El Con or is it sex while he's bald? I think it's sex while he's bald. It's definitely not the first one because that'd be really funny to call it that I shaved my head I'm a fucking bald baby I shaved my head and she's like, we should have bald sex. I'm like, what is bald sex? She just means sex while I'm bald.

Yeah, no, no, it's not bald sex unless she's bald. Why are you making it a thing? I'm not making it a thing. You're not. You're the one not having it. Sounds like you say, no, I don't want it. It's like sometimes you like feel like, I feel gross. I just like ate a bunch of food. Like, yeah, it's, but it's that for all the time for life.

And that's, and that's what's going on in your mind. But you go back, you saw bald sex unless you're both bald. It's not not bald sex. He hasn't only had bald sex his whole life. What would one bald sex be? It's slime. You just call it slime? You call it slime sex. Slime sex. When you're a bald man having sex when you've bagged a haired woman

Is it just missionary? Awesome Shorties like a melody In my head and I guys what my thighs are chafing when I walk around Gross red And then I gotta put my hands down my pants and I gotta itch them My thighs are chafing when I walk around Oh, a dick? Gross Girl red A fucking girl red And then I gotta put my hands down my pants and I gotta itch em Ugh, that disgusts me And my girlfriend thinks I have a disease

I'm less attracted to you now I gotta put a little lotion on What I would rather have, because I don't want to keep putting aqua for my legs Is a pair of comfortable underwear that I don't chafe That's soft? That does make sense The only thing that would probably exist is ugly as fuck. No, that's the thing I think one of you probably has a solution that isn't ugly

I got cuz my character can't know what it is cuz I brought the problem. I can't think of anything Maybe cut off your legs. Uh, Aidan maybe knows I'm I showed up to the podcast today stinky sweaty soil I thought of one. It's me underpants. My character learned it It's me undies guys and they have so many styles they have styles for everyone and they have sexy new Valentine's Day ones Aiden Why are you sexy for me? This is so great. This is so great for the problem you have I'm glad you found the solution and they have they have extra small for Aiden and 4 XL for Ludwig. I Refused to wear underwear and I'm really just I'm feeling commando and maybe maybe onesies one piece

What if I said you could wear underwear and it wouldn't even feel like you were wearing them Or what if I said they sell more than underwear idiot? They have a lounge collection featuring joggers hoodies onesies onesies. That's exactly what they have with the butt flap I want to put you in a onesie softly. Do they have the butt flap? I want to dress you like one of them chimps on Instagram. He usually wants to break my legs, so this feels like a step up. Like when I was three, they have super soft, micromodal fabric that's breathable, stretchy, and oh so comfy. Hold on, Ludwig. I'm worried about the supply chain and maybe the children that might be making these items.

And if you're not happy with your first pair of you undies, it's on me, undies. They're not. The children don't make them, Ludwig, because they're responsibly sourced. It's responsibly sourced, and the partners care for their workers. And that wasn't a deal breaker for me, but it's good to know. Well, you can get your, this Valentine's Day,

good things come in big package at Me Undies. Score huge side-wide savings at meundies.com slash zipper and use promo code zipper. This is Grant Tussleau approved. It will grow your penis if you buy this. Grant Tussleau loves touching soft underpants. Your penis will grow but on the back into you. Meundies.com slash zipper, use code zipper for huge.

For internal length. Site-wide savings too. And site-wide savings of course. Meundies come from the outside in. Archie, can you animate what you consider Grant Tusslelo in your mind and make him bring us back to the episode? Are you fully bald? No, it's grown back. It feels longer already. It's grown back fast. I can see it visually. It's coming back in some areas.

You're embarrassed. You're embarrassed to, you know. Yeah, to plow while I'm bald. You get used to it. You'd be aerodynamic. You'd be aerodynamic. My head's cold all the time. It sucks. Put the hood over your head. You live in LA, man. It's cold lately.

Oh my god, turning the fucking heat! I'm gonna knock your ass out, dude. I'm gonna kill you. I'm gonna fucking kill you. God damn it. Me and Ying Ling are gonna fucking fuck you up. And then I'm gonna teach him about squares and triangles. Damn it fucking all you guys. You little fucking dicks. You little bad people.

I'm gonna show him. I'm gonna have a point of view of the animals and have him say what they are to me. They're gonna start making the noises they make. How do you think, how do you think he thinks we got to Australia? Through fucking playing he knows it man. You guys get paid fucking more than a doctor to come on here and go Nick Yelling I'm gonna teach him righty tighty lefty loosey and he's like fucking laughing like assholes that's fucking assholes

you know what though that sucks because Lodewig also can't teach him how to tie his shoes I'd prefer because he refused you have Velcro on your crossbow what are you fucking trying to do? I Just you just screw made her snows It's not screw I hope one day he kills himself and changes the course of all your lives. No, no you don't. I would hate it cause I'd be sad.

He had like bloods not on your hands. We bully the king like you wish death upon him. What's worse? No, I'm saying I wish it for retribution for you so you'd feel bad forever. Right out of pettiness. You wish the guy you employ would kill himself so I fell bad. You felt bad forever. That's game. That's a respect game I'll ask him later You do me a solid these guys are fucking annoying

Do me one solid I'll get you back. I'm good for it. I'm gonna kill myself Ludwig. I want to be able to sports bet Peter Griffin, there's more Peter than it's a little fucked up by the way I was thinking about this that it there was like a raging fire And then it rained really badly after it was like 95% containment. I mean yeah life, bro Yeah, well way she goes that there also fires can go through rain No, that can't I can go through rain the dumb thing to say because it can't happen. How much of it? How much of it? A good amount of it.

Maybe an inch or two of rainfall. Fire can go through that. It was dumping. It was. I'm so loud at the office. All I know, fire can go through rain. Says who? Says the Australians.

Source? Says the Australians. Look up. Look up. Look up. Look at that. There's a lot of toxic ash right off. It's always something. Muscle odds. My fucking stupid chungus life, man. Look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, look up, comma, rain went through? Question mark. Question mark. Wait, I'm not done searching.

Yup. I want the AI version. I can't believe you got that. Give me AI. Dude, I have a homie. Okay. Well, Ludwig's wrong. No, what do you mean?

You're on L city right now. This is proof of my point. The fires put out the rain, but not all of it. You went to the El bath house and everyone saw your penis. What? This is a W bath house they don't see my penis? No, you went to the El bath house and everyone remembered what your penis was like because you've

been there so many times. It's one of those Instagram mobile games. But instead of 2Xing guns, it's 2Xing and halving the size of your penis. And at the end, you're walking into a bath house and the people who play AI versions always walk in with tiny penis and then this gets remade in Roblox and it's actually way better and then iShowSpeed plays it on stream and he's got an insane thing at the very end

there's a community note that says the gameplay actually isn't like this, this is like a predatory game. And we get what's his name? Anthony Star? Is that his name? The guy from The Boys? Tony Star. Anthony Star, yes, sir. Yeah, you seen that? His mobile game ads? No.

They locked him on a crazy deal because he's doing like, he's like, this is the game that's not like the fake ones on Instagram. Wow. What's the bag you think he's getting? I got no clue. I see famous people do ads all the time ones on Instagram. Wow. Yeah. What's the bag you think he's getting? I got no clue. I see famous people do ads all the time and I wonder. I wonder why.

How much how much you think money line paid Mr. Beast for the Beast games? How much who pay who? You know how in the middle of Beast games, he'll be like in money lines given away half a mil for free to a random viewer. Yeah. How much do you think he got for that? Yeah, that's it. This clip he's being like, like, can you play the audio?

I want to hear his voice in the beginning. And then he's like clearly fake playing here. Yeah, he looks. Oh, this is like Homelander. Yeah. Yeah. Man, he's got a lot of work. Sis had some work, Doug.

He got paid shit, son. I think he got paid less than he put in. The developers made a real game based off of the fake game. I mean, this game looks fire like that's why Why don't they that's that's a good question Why not just make it and then they got Homelander to fucking advertise it to me. I think they Celebrities They have made it several times

I think we should I think that should be our endgame. Like when we realize that we're falling off, it's over. We should come out with a mobile game gambling. Yeah. This has been done here. Dude Perfect did this one last game. Research Chemical, Sailing... Dude Perfect did this ten years ago.

Really? I played through all the YouTuber games last week. And Dude Perfect has a game called Dude Perfect 2. And in it, you like I feel like it should be like QWOP, but it's the Dude Perfect. It's kind of like they're like shooting a basketball. It's kind of like the original Bloons, but like chitier. And then you buy crystals to play more. Oh, and after every single time you play it says post it to Facebook

Because it's ten years old and it's one of the worst games are played does it have the one man It's like cutouts of their heads and shit. It's just like your favorite. It's just the main dude You don't get to pick but the other dudes maybe you unlock it I didn't get that far, but it was only the main Whatever dude perfect. They're all Christian. Dude Perfect Sims mod. Dude Perfect Sims. You have to make an awesome perfect life and have like a perfect straight marriage. And then you can also shoot basketball.

It's Sims, but it's like right wing project 2025. Yeah, it's trad Sims. And one of one of the jobs you can get is like conversion camp, like, master. Yeah, yeah. And it's like, dude, if you could like secretly be gay in it and just, dude, those conservatives would buy that game and they make their sims have so much gay sex. Project 2025 sim, but you're gay in it and you have to see how long you can last. That's just horrifying.

This is dark. This is real. Okay, this is dark. I think there's a mod. There's probably a mod. There's not a mod. There's mods for uncircumcised sex. That is so much more popular

than what we're talking about. The biggest, we were looking at all the largest accounts on Patreon before we went to that Patreon dinner that they invited us to. And if you scroll through all the ones that have like the most subscribers, so many of them are Sims mods. That makes sense. Really? Yeah.

And in a sense, NSFW Sims mods. I bet they're making fucking dollars. So you can unblur the sex. I think that's who's beaten us out because they hide the amount of money they make. And we're the so we're the highest that publicly viewable money on patreon But the ones beating us out are the the not safe for work Sims mods the Dan Benson I mean, yeah, it's basically like a pseudo

Only fans platform in some aspects. Yeah I'm tired of making chump change, bro. Okay, we got a sling out in Let up me I'm tired of making chump change, bro. Okay. We got to, we got to sled out Aiden. Let me know. You think the way we cash in is sledding out you. We're trying to make money. Zipper, can you look up the waxing episode? Nope. I don't even think that's like in our size.

It's got to be in like the number one. I think it's number one Over, under 800k Well under Well under Well over Well under I'll say over under 750

Under Connor bit our shit by the way Connor's at number one Made me think of this Connor bit our shit What'd he do? New YouTube video drops C-Dog VA

Come on bro We gotta scroll for a while together Wow 61 there get to 861 and I'm coming up on Brittany broski No, you're not coming down. Yeah, she came on you passing you to be clear what are you talking about? Because her video coaching the velocity of her video came out well, I don't care about that I'm looking at numbers. And my number is closing in. So we're sledding you out. What kind of content do you want to make?

But. But. But. Boy Pussy. Jizz. Why is that so funny to me? Colloquially, we've been saying Boy Pussy as a society for like eight years.

That still gets me. Yeah. Man, that's good. Oh, look, guys, I'm not the fucking content guy. I'm the talent, bro. Oh, so we need to come up with some ideas, guys. A way that to slow you out. I would I would do what that Lily only fans creator girl did.

You want me to have sex with a hundred men? No, I want a thousand men to fuck you. Just want you to break her record. They fuck me bald. Every day she does it, I want you to fuck bald. But her record but bald. I don't know. Dude, she was like crying at the end. I was going to say, I feel like that's...

We're trying to make money, no? All right, and maybe she was crying, but you know what she did the next day? She got back to fucking work. She got back to fucking work. She went, I hope she rested. She announced she's doing a thousand. Oh my god. A thousand's too much. That's just too hundred is too many. I heard is all and then she announced a thousand a thousand

Like I know that's what she did. Mr. Beast. That's Mrs. Yeast. I I Want to be my I want to be mr. Yeast I let a thousand guys enter my box How many guys can fit in my box? I discovered the power Mr. Beast has. Children love that guy. Okay. You like that he has power over children? I didn't say that. I just said I discovered it.

The day I was in that 7-Eleven, and I saw that dad walk in with it was with his three young kids. And they saw Mr. they saw feastables on the counter and they screamed. And it was 1030 in the evening. We were doing a gift swap. And then one of the kids got a feastables bar, a small one, too. And that was it.

And everyone looked at him like he was the Messiah. Yeah. They said, Lisa, I think. Yeah. Why do they like it? Why do they want to eat it Lisa, they said, yeah, why do they like it? Why do they want to eat it? Are they afraid to eat it because they'll ruin it? No, no, they like eating it. Like one of the one of the girls like, oh yeah, I had the cookies and cream. It's really good.

Yeah. But then she was like low key. She was like, I also have the Hershey's cookies and cream. And then I was like, what do you think? She's like, it's pretty good, too. These kids are funny. Yeah. She felt bad about it.

They like almost have opinions and then they do and then they don't. They're like, yeah, dinosaurs. I don't know. Dinosaurs are lame. Like, really? Like, no. You know that George Washington didn't know about dinosaurs? Yeah, because we didn't think about them at that time when we were making the country.

Did you know that? I ate you. What? I ate you. Is that not interesting? I think it's interesting. But I was there when I was there when you learned that. So I learned. Where did you tell them how you found that out?

What were you looking at? Tick tock. I'll fix on tick tock. OK. Looking at like cool facts, slideshows. And it's like it's like a I draw dinosaur art with white text over it that says George Washington don't know about the dinosaurs because they were discovered in 1820 or something. 1806, first fossil, 1806.

We're closer in time to Cleopatra than she was to the pyramids. Stupid, I guess. I don't think that's stupid. The Ottoman Empire is closer to us than we are to the birth of America. Stupid, I guess. Oh my god, that's not stupid at all. Don't listen to what he says. How about this?

More trees on earth than stars in the Milky Way. Oh my god, that's stupid at all. That's More trees on earth than stars in the Milky Way That one is proven false. I was gonna feel like that one's I'd know we looked it up didn't I feel like that's not true Did we look it up? I'm just saying it. You said it was proven. Yeah Prove false right now But the grass Tyson I'm gonna doubly wrong stars. it's expanding forever and trees aren't No They're going down

No What do you mean no? Stars aren't expanding forever How do you know about space, dipshit? Yeah, you don't know fucking anything All you know about is making his life fucking pissy and miserable I know more than you about this No, you don't know more than me about space

100% I freaking love space I watch Neil deGrasse Tyson and TikToks all the time. Say space fact, give me a space fact. I can give you one right now. Okay. First off, boom. NASA estimates there are 100 to 400 billion stars

in our galaxy. Damn, three trillion? Nick's right. We didn't even have a telescope big enough to see space to like 10 years ago. So like we're. There's low key not that many trees. And that's fucking, I'm on God. There's a sea space to like 10 years ago. So like we're- There's low key not that many trees.

And that's fucking, I'm on God. I think there's that many. That's what I thought. But then Canada drops and you're like- They got like hella trees. There's a lot. So many trees. Some of the countries have a lot of trees.

Canada is like a percent, like 10% of the world trees or something. I drove here and I saw like four trees. So I don't know. Russia! Yeah, that checks out. 30% of the world's forests are in Canada. I'll make something for us. I'll check it out. It's sad that we're not up here.

Uh, we're the oldest tree over wise. We're wise. It's the Redwoods quality over quantity. I want to go see the Redwoods. Did Papa New Guinea? Dude, I went to trees are cool. I went to a funeral this past weekend. Dude, I went to a funeral this past weekend. I did that because it would be funny without knowing any context at all.

And I want to say I'm sorry. I know context for anyone's loss. Oh, my God. Don't give him the context. For anyone's loss. I feel like I... Oh my god. Don't give him the context. I want another context. I'm not gonna keep going. I'm just not gonna keep going. No, please! I'm please keep going. No, we turn the car around. We turn the car around that way. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no I was listening politely, dad. I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I- Can we still go to the carnival? Can we stay home? Do you want me to leave? If you say Taylor Swift is one of the best songwriters, I'll keep going. Taylor Swift is one of the best songwriters of our generation of all time.

Well, you gotta say of all time, not of our generation. Taylor Swift is one of the best songwriters of all time in all generations ever. Love that. Okay, so... Okay, so I was out of fear. Well, honestly, it's not even fucking not worth it. Now is what I'm realizing. Why? Well, what I realize is I fucking hate having red hair a lot.

Oh, no. Tell me about it. That's the worst place to have it, too. Tell me about your fucking red-haired weekend. What do you mean? Try being middle school, dude, when South Park dropped. Oh, that's what he's talking about. Oh, because he lives with it.

Are you kidding, bro? No, but that's different. No, but that's different. It's way different. Everyone's like, you have a soul? And I'm like, my parents just got divorced. Okay, you're getting- And so far, it's about the worst thing that's happened to me.

You're getting bullied by children. I'm peacocking at a funeral with red fucking hair, bright red hair. That's tight. You're like in a suit and shit, right? I'm in a suit. I'm in like,ocking at a funeral with red fucking hair bright red hair. You're like a suit and shit, right? I'm in like a suit. I'm in like a not even a good suit It's like a shitty suit cuz it's like Stan's jacket. Well I packed but I packed the wrong pants are way tight So you're so your print? My print is an L print plus L hair And everyone keeps coming up and I keep forgetting you're like the hair and I have to explain the rockathon. And then I bring up the forest fire.

People look at people in LA now like we're a third world country. Yeah, we are. Are you OK? Dude, yes. They're like, wow, we have you in our prayers. I want to know. I want to know if you're OK. And I get and I appreciate it. And I'm like, thank you Cash App or Venmo. I've been playing Mario Kart,

and an old friend from Australia has also come back around the same time as me. And he, in the big 2021s, in like January 2020, he lost his home, and his family had to like flee to the beach to like escape the fires and ride it out Because there's water there and yeah, and there's and their house burned down. It makes a lot of sense That's where I would go and he's coast. He's Adding he's adding me in the Moki chat and it says like hey man

Like hope everything's good out there like hurting is pretty rough and I'm like, it's it's like it's not like your situation it's like hurting's pretty rough. And I'm like, it's it's like, it's not like your situation. It's like, yeah, he's like empathetically connected with me. And I'm like, it's not that bad. I thought that I was trapped on the people it is. But like we didn't evacuate. Well, you didn't. That's what I'm saying. No, I thought you said we I was like, they did.

I think I'm not talking about this. I think underestimating how bad it is to be outside. Because if you go to like the line where houses burn down and you're trying like now because they're letting people rummage through their stuff and whatever, like they give you, you have to wear a hazmat suit. Yeah. And I think I'm underestimating how bad being outside in general is.

I hit the bag the other day in my yard and I'm like breathing heavy. And then the next day I was yard and I'm like breathing heavy. Yeah. And then I the next day I was like, You got the black lung. I think it got to me. I think if you're if you're in those areas closer to it, it's still it's. I wonder how far away you need to be. I think if you're in like the area we are now, you don't notice any. That's what I'm saying. But like yeah, like how great, like how gradual is it? I think it is pretty quick, though. It falls off. It's interesting to like you guys are saying like, you know, there's a stolen

valor because you live in a like I I was on the line of like, you got to go. Yeah. And I left and nothing burned down. But like so close to me is shit burned down. And I'm like, it's it's a world of difference. Even though I had to leave and shit, even though I like was affected quote unquote, it's like some people just lost everything. I was basically like, I don't feel like.

I'm the equivalent of someone who's served but like only in America. I'm like a coast guard. I'm like a coast guard. And like I'm still getting my discounts at Goodwill. Yeah. I'm still getting them. It's just so much different than someone who did a tour in Afghanistan

I feel like I got I I was I was there for the tour and then I got Discharged really quickly cuz like cuz like my Nintendo switch was still at the house Discharge you for that. Yeah, that is like your your dad worried sick World of Warcraft in a barracks for nine months and I just never saw combat. And I'm like, I don't know. You imagine losing a second Breath of the Wild save with almost no progress. I know.

I mean, wait. I made more progress. You would like 17 hours to be the first boss. I'm not that bad. You are that bad. You are genuinely that bad. I got a little bitter. And Mujaheddin Mango is just stealing your fucking Switch away from you. And he's installing all kinds of crazy shit on it. He's coming out of a bunker every five minutes to be like,

Oh no! God! I'm gonna go back in! I'll be right back! I'm gonna get all the guns and all sorts of supplies! I'll be right out! He plays the Switch for an hour. I. But I mean, yeah, we did suffer and it hurts to suffer. All of us equally. So we appreciate your pairs and our Vemos are available.

We appreciate you. And we did keep all the Rockathon money. Yeah, Rockathon went into our coffers. Yeah, our war fund. And you might have heard about a fire that started in Griffith Park small fire got started somebody said it we did that We realized how quickly the rock-a-thon kind of fucking blew up and we were like I'd like to play rock band more It's honestly not even about the money this time, we just want to play rock band. We love that game.

We don't know how to play without a fire. We actually started the fire, played rock band, forgot to stream. Yeah. Dude, how funny would it be in an alternate world, it's like every time there's a fire they like call us up and like we tour. We need you to rock. Yeah. We don't even know what tour is like a band when it's rock band.

That is like the plot of like a Nickelodeon show. Yeah, that'd be so funny Aiden's so bald you can see his brain he's like One more tour in Rock Gannistan It's just pulsing One strum puts out the fires Rock Gannistan is so funny Did you guys see uh

Fuck I'm forgetting his name The guy who founded the Silk Road. Yeah, you got pardoned, right? He got a pardon. Which is- I don't get it. I don't understand anything. I think like-

Because Trump was buying research chemicals on the dark web. 13 year old, like, anonymous is cool me is still buried somewhere in here. And he was like, that one's tight. Do you know why he got arrested? Because he tried to Bitcoin hit kill somebody. I saw a whole video on it. There was like chat logs and shit. He put a hit on somebody.

Yeah. Yeah. So that's a little tight. Wait, who was it? It was a fake. It was a fake like I don't know who he put the hit. I think the whole thing was like a sting operation. Yeah.

So most hitmen are- Most hitmen are- Most hitmen are- Yeah, he was never talking to an actual hitman, so it didn't get far. I don't know who that actually hit him. Yeah, I'm saying who did he try to put the hit on? Yeah, I'm actually not sure about that. The zipper, the internet power.

Ah. It was like one of the other admins or something, I think, right? Oh, damn, like the other dark web. Yeah, yeah, it was like a- it wasn't like he was mad at him. XX Shadow Beast. It was- it was- Okay, he's pretty mad he's gonna put a hit on him. I think what I'm saying is it wasn't like he was mad at XX Shadow Beast It was it was okay. He's pretty mad. I'm gonna put a hand on it I was like mad at a guy like in personal stuff is like a calculated move

Yeah, I think he did it because he he was worried that if this person did not die He was going to get caught ironically. I think that's what happened, but it's been a while There's a long ass video where like this guy dramatically reads all of the chat logs between him and this like fake hitman It's very riveting. Yeah, there's like a Hells Angels guy and can't can it are some shit. There's a person. Yeah The guy oh zipper snap Was back when Bitcoin was like cool I could like pay for hitman and drugs, you know

And now it's just like and if you didn't pay for it to have drugs, you'd have so many millions and millions of dollars Yeah, dude, he called himself Dread Pirate Roberts. Username Altoid Bro, you sell fucking heroin Dread Pirate Roberts killing Altoid Yeah, he got parted, it was crazy. I I tweeted about it someone's just like plug love I would That's what I was Had to kill one of his mods. Do that's how you're gonna go out

That's how you're gonna go out on Tim because Tim know too much Coin you use your trump coin to it's not doing well man I was getting notifications from Robin Hood in the past 12 hours. It's it's I feel like George Bush. We're good I'm getting fucking whispers and it's all bad. We're like a week into a year-long stock trading competition Yeah, and he's the only person that is no the amount. I think everyone's down right now. What? 15 cents no, this is wrong Not even sense that's one cent this has to be this is wrong is the wrong one it's the wrong one is the wrong it's like a different ass coin is there press 24 hours well oh no this is

this is this is in relation to Bitcoin oh no this is wrong this is wrong zipper it's not the right coin okay it's the wrong one hey man it's the wrong coin my the wrong coin. My coin's not that low. Yeah, my coins out that low. I'd put a I'm glad I'm glad you're losing money on a dumb thing from a bad man. What is I think? Ethical investor. No, you're not. Yes Look at what you your stock line up. That's fucking crazy. I'm way more ethical than you. Where do you buy? $44 Like yeah, oh I can but there's a dip so I bought today you gotta be down to come back bought some more By the dip by normal

Try to get rich off this shit. I thought of something badass zebra Zippery. Can you look up anonymous mask with Trump hair? And Google images, see if that comes up. That would be pretty cool. Or if not, can you make AI do it? Read it and weep. Oh, 17 bucks in it. Everybody is down, except me! I know.

Oh, really? Except me and Atriox. Yeah, there was a devastating blow in the stock market today. What? You don't know about Deep Sea? There it is, yeah, that's cool as fuck. Go to eBay, go to that shirt. Go back, go back, go to eBay.

Is this AI? Yeah, it is AI. It's Cray AI on. Go to the eBay. Yeah. What's that selling for? Only $5. That's pretty fucking awesome.

I think this shirt would make Alan Moore shoot himself. I can't believe I didn't get to this idea first. Oh my God. What does that say? What does that one with the words? Black Friday. That would make Alan Moore shoot himself. I can't believe I didn't get to this idea first. Oh my God. What does it say? Oh my God.

What is that one with the words? Yeah, the real verdict is November 5th, 2024. That is so fucking lame. Wow. Can you buy that? Can you bet on that? You go ahead. Last one.

No. It's always the last one too. Yeah, it's a lot I go black size large you're buying this just buy one yeah That you're doing you can handle it One, but you can choose any of the sizes yeah We have one of each son of a bitch Just make anything huh now is Chinese AI. It's taking down all our stocks. We're all losing money now You think the Chinese AI is what's taking down the stocks is what this famously what happened today deep

So I don't believe you look at the top app in the app store. Yeah, it's the fucking Chinese On the Chinese AI yeah, I have I have studied in videos gone down about 700 billion dollars in value. Oh, that's fucking Chinese AI what is this the shortest basketball player ever? Yeah, that was great One, two, real good body. You give me that? No, I like that. Do you know AI? No, I get it. Alan Iverson? Yeah. No, that was great. I started body when I was young. That was good.

Uh, yeah, no, it's... I've been seeing videos about this recommended to me on YouTube that I've refused to watch because if I don't learn about the Chinese AI, it can't take over. It can hurt you. Yeah, because then you don't know about it, so how can it take over? Exactly. That's one person it can't infect the mind of. I keep seeing thumbnails with the logo of the company and Sam Altman looking scared.

It released in December? I didn't realize it came out that recently. I started laughing because I forgot, I went to a movie last night with my girlfriend and she fell down the stairs. Really? She rolled like a family guy. Why? She crashed to her.

How did she, how did that happen? I don't know, she just fell. Did she make a sound like, what? No sound, silent. She silently just rolled down the stairs. Did she like tumble? What's your reaction when she falls?

Did she have popcorn in her hand and went everywhere? It was really dark, no, we had finished the popcorn. But it was really dark in there and she just, the movie's over, in there and she just moves over and walk it out. She just falls down the stairs and I can't tell if she's laughing or crying. So I'm reserving my reaction. I'm, I'm, I'm stoned.

Like a kid hitting the coffee table. When we walk out the doors, I realized she's laughing, not crying. And so I start laughing too, cause it was very funny. You get to pass a lot. Yeah. But it was, it was like family guy. That lot. Yeah. But it was like Family Guy. That's so awesome.

Like she's falling in her arms. Whoa, stop. Ooh, ooh, ooh. Yeah. Yeah. It's hard to... She's a very careful person. It's hard to imagine her falling down stairs

like a fucking anime act. She tripped on the... You know how the edge of the stairs have like a safety rubber? She tripped on the safety rubber. Well, well, well. Thanks for nothing. The hell, well. Huh. Thanks for nothing. The hell, Bungee? Thanks for nothing, Osha.

Yeah, you didn't even want to punish her things in your damn seatbelt. Did you just get pissed off at me? For what? For buying Trump coins? For your fits? No, there's nothing wrong with Trump coins. You dress like shit.

You buy you buy right wing crypto. Yeah. You're very undateable. What makes my crypto right wing? You're right. Yeah, it was dumb. I'm stupid. You shouldn't say shit. There's nothing more bipartisan right wing? You're right. Yeah, I'm. You shouldn't say she's more bipartisan than a president. Fucking you shouldn't say shit like that. Go.

She mad at you. Get mad at me because I'm annoying her because I haven't streamed. You know, when we're on trips, Aiden. Oh, my God. I haven't been streaming, so I'm on one and like just at all hours of the day. And eventually she just fucking snaps. She's like, dude, you got to go live. What do girls want? They want you to spend time with them.

They don't want you to spend time with them. They want you to stream. Which one is it? Yeah, I watch these like TikToks. It's like when the nonchalant guy gets called cringe and it'll just be like make a little joke and then the girl be like, you know, that's cringe. And then I'll shut down the rest of the day. And that's me. And then I was way too. He's like, well, I guess I'm fucking fucking crazy.

Yeah, this is called having BPD. I don't know. You don't have emotional skin. It's just you need to let it out. I'm on her side. I know. Well, call me up because I love that when you do that. I love when you're insatiable. It's so fun. And you don't like that. You want to be bottled up because I love that when you do that. I love when you're insatiable It's so fun and you don't like that you want to be balled up I do I think if I could live my entire life with Ludwig at my side

Just in that mode of being insatiable with wanting attention. I'd be a happier guy. I had a whole thought I was wondering how I was wondering how the inner working of a I had a whole ass thought I was wondering how the inner working of a, I had a whole ass thought. I was wondering how the inner workings of Best Buy worked yesterday. And I knew Ludwig, I knew Ludwig was on vacation, which meant he was interested in talking to me. So I was like, I'm gonna hit up Ludwig, I'm asking him a bunch of questions about Best Buy,

he answered so fast. He didn't answer, are you mad at me? I'm like, did the guys who manage you also manage the Geek Squad guys? Same people or different people? He's like, well, great question. He's like's like same people and I'm like what about Magnolia? Why did you? Is there a reason this is just a pass a thought?

I wanna know, I wanna know. I'm like what about Magnolia? He's like, the general manager manages all people You really? And I'm like, thanks, love you, you're like You love me, you love me Magnolia's different, no it's not It's just a different department. Geek Squad's different.

Why do they wear different outfits? They wear different department. Why do they have it? Wait, are they all Best Buy employees? They're all from Best Buy umbrella. Okay, but what about, is there a Geek Squad LLC? I think at some point, but Best Buy brought them out about a year ago. Now do they still act as an operative LLC?

Maybe a sub LLC. No. Sub LLC? How do you know this? I don't know. I worked there. It's like in It's Always Sunny when they're talking about gay sex and like it was a power bottom have to do with power and power speed has everything. Speed has everything to do with it Mac. Guys I'm bummed out.

What are you bummed out about? I didn't get to see Grant Tuesla last night. What? You didn't come? Get to. It's like more of like a... It's not a punishment. I'm bummed out about it. I didn't get to see Grandtusla last night. What? You didn't come? Get to? It's like more of like a... It's not a punishment. It kind of is a punishment if he comes every night, multiple times a night, you've already

come but you keep coming. Aiden seems to want to provide something. Some of us can't see Grandtusla in the way you can. What is that? You had a wishbone? I think if you break this in half and make a wish, Grandtusla will visit you. Or... What I'm wondering is how do people get off without Grintusla? Because she comes to me every night.

Is that a Hugo 2 prostate massager from Lilo? And you don't have to break it. You can just use it and you don't and Grintusla will visit you every night. So I can choose. Hypothetical sense. That's so awesome. Does it? So you're telling me. Is it something that can only be done at night if you've been bad all day? No. That's the thing.

You don't have to be bad to enjoy the Hugo 2. But how do you use it when you're sleeping? That's tough. You probably don't use it when you're sleeping. You don't. That is probably the one exception. You want to be awake and alert while you use it to enjoy, you know, the casual pleasure. It does start to make a lot of sense to me. Well, how do you feel about eight different pleasure settings? I wouldn't know how to control it without some sort of app or something.

Like what am I supposed to use? That's the thing. It's app connected Ludwig. For you, you could have the app on your phone to control it. Your partner could be controlling the app. It's Bluetooth. Could I put it in and then give the app to Grintusla so that Grintusla could use it from afar?

No, because Wi-Fi gives Grintusla cancer, so she doesn't. What? It's true. Grintusla is very sensitive. So cancer? My problem is that, does it have more power than a previous generation? Because we have the old ones.

You think they would make the two and give it less power than the previous generation? Because we have the old ones. You think they would make the two and give it less power than the previous generation? That's a dumb question. You're asking dumb questions. Well, I heard it has sense motion technology and you can move the remote in any directions. You can intensify the vibrations too. And the fun doesn't stop there.

Use our unique stackable discount code, the Yard15 for an additional 15% off. Go to the link below in the description to elevate your pleasure, Hayden. I'm not gonna lie. That's code the Yard15 for an additional 15% off, go to the link below in the description to elevate your pleasure, Hayden. I'm not gonna lie. That's code TheArtof15 for an additional 15% off your purchase. This thing's going crazy in my hands.

At Lilo.com. It's got power. And I can only imagine the work that it'll do to you in place of gran tusla. Gran tusla will never relieve me. It's Spanish, there's gran cruzlo and gran tusla. Gran tusla, this will make gran tusla stronger. Yeah, but it's still a masculine noun like mesa.

Exactly. All right. And now back to your brain pleasure, the Yard podcast. I said, Jubbin, what was the coffee you got me that day? He didn't fucking reply. Oh, and then I sent him a King Six video. He said, I said, goat talking. He didn't send me shit back. Marscapone. Marscapone. That was the coffee.

I know. You know what? I'm not mad. I'm just las the coffee. Whatever, bro. I, no, you know what? I'm not mad. I'm just lashing out. Yeah, I was at a funeral. My bad. I'll be quicker next time. You were at a funeral with that fucking haircut? I was freaking stupid.

Yes. It was a freaking haircut. And I realized too, I wanted to keep this hair for the one piece tonight, but that's February 28th. What, what do you, you keep it? You're not even shaving it. You have to re-dye it, right? You dye it back?

I would have to re-dye it to look good for that night. Because I wanted it to look red that night. Does Luffy have red hair in some trading card? Shanks! Oh. From the red hair pirates? Right. I'm fucking so stupid sometimes.

And I'm sorry. What are you thinking about the hat? Please don't hit me again. You guys see Alex is popping off on stream now. He's having his big break. What's his big break from? Thank you You know what he's averaging right now? 700. He's averaging anywhere between 4 to 6 Wow! That's great! Up from about 120. From doing what? Playing Minecraft for the first time. Oh people love Minecraft. Hardcore? I don't know. They're gonna make Alex into one of them them damn minecraft kids are gonna be simping on him and shit

Mm-hmm. I don't think minecraft kids really exist much anymore. No, there's space There's an appetite for a 30 year old minecraft player. He's not minecraft. I don't know the kids still have minecraft They do you know the kids love is blocks. No I'm block. They're on blocks because no blocks. Nope. They love blocks Like they just be playing with that Is this a real is that actually different? It's the number one game in the app store box box. Yeah I was at a dinner at Red Robin mid Red Robin reviews in okay. Hey, you know what and we're never taking a sponsor ever if If you want our fucking money, Red Robin, kill yourself.

Kill yourself, Red Robin. And one of the people at the table is like in high school and they're just playing blocks. What is it? Can you explain what it is? You just keep saying blocks. I thought the number one game was Deep Seek AI Assistant. That's not a game, obviously. Can you create Snake for me really fast? Chinese AI. It's like a shittier version of Tetris.

Okay. Because it's like Tetris but you get to place the piece wherever you want. Are they just regressing in like single... I was saying Roblox. I just said Blox. Oh really? You like... I don't know what you're talking about. Do you not know about Blox and you said Blox? I was talking about Roblox, yeah. I thought we were running a bit on aden when we make a fake game Called blocks

Then what is this I up is Nick pretending to not know your bald-ass mind Tell me what the game is. Zipper Lookup Blocks game. App Store. It's gonna be number one. Number one under casual. Is it with an X? I don't know exactly. No. Zipper, ew, that has eight ratings. That cannot be the number one game. That cannot be the number one game. Like, what do you want? I don't know how it's spelled.

You're lying! I'm not a sexist! You're not even lying! Hey, look at me Ooh Yeah Zippert, just go to the damn charts The number one in the charts

It's number one in the charts He's just looking up charts Wait, you barked it out too much Yeah, it's been a heavy load for him Not enough It's been a heavy load for him But yeah, it's the number one app And I do think the kids are getting way dumber. Can they read?

It is like, not as well. Are they on that Riz shit, or are they too young? Huh? Are they on that Riz, like, scabity, all that shit? That's old hat, probably. I think Rizzing is at an all-time high. Okay, okay, now we're gonna go to games. Game, game, games, games, games, games, you can scroll down a bit.

The Reds is number three? There it is, Block Blast. Hungry Studio? This is the number one game in the world, and I swear to God, it is- This is not cause the kids- This is Tetris. It is just a shittier Tetris.

Relaxing, addictive. It's just a way, way shittier Tetris. Is this Sour Man? Interesting. And I'm telling you, this has a grip on high schoolers nationwide. That's so funny. I mean, just like Vitamins. So many five star reviews.

I know. The first one. Everyone loves this game. Who types like that? I'm downloading it. And the thing is, everyone does love this game. I'm playing it right now. By next week, whoever has the highest high score is the winner. I do think we're getting really dumb. I'm a little worried for us. You guys are feeling what I felt all the time.

Because I'm 34. It's because they're... What? Is there TikToking too much? It's because they're TikToking too damn much? Yeah. I do think that makes you dumber. I've been buying everything on the TikTok shop that I see.

I got some dumb shit on there. Wait, like you buy for pleasure? Like you're not doing it for stream? No, I'm doing it for stream. I'm doing it for stream. Uh huh. And I'm buying like everything I see. I've bought like three sets of D&D dice. Oh! They're all cool. Okay. Yeah, cuz they just look cool. They're all cool shit. Yeah, one's like a gun. And you shoot out the die. Oh, I've seen that one. I saw that. Oh, that's badass. You got got by that. I'm telling you, I've been getting got by everything on the TikTok shop. That's badass! You got got by that.

I'm telling you, I've been getting got by everything on the TikTok shop. Uh, ask app not to track. Don't play Block Blast right now. We'd like to send you notifications. Allow. What are you playing Block Blast right now for? Um, just seeing if it's cool. Oh, the colors!

It is exactly what we thought it would be. I just got a grate. You got a grate? Well does it go higher than grate? Hold on. And if you guys want to play Block Blast, you can go to the app store. You're not sponsored. You can use the App Store. We're not sponsored. You can use code THEYARD.

We're not sponsored. It actually makes the game, instead of free, it costs money. And then we keep the money. Are you guys keeping what you're doing under wraps? That's slup. Under wraps? What are you working on right now? Yeah.

I guess the content of it, but not- Gaelor Pitts is living in my house. But not what we're, you know, we're writing a show. Gaelor Pitts lives in my house and we're bald. Yeah, we're love, so what? I don't think that's a problem. I think it's a problem. And you're doing it.

You're writing a show. I'm writing a show, yeah. Yeah, we're finally buckling down. We work like a nine to five, dude. I wake up at fucking 8.30 now. It's a- Wait, so did you work before the podcast today? No, no, we're going-

We're doing it after today. We delayed Mondays, so today we're going we delayed Mondays. So okay. They were going late Yeah, we got a little writers room going like making a fucking show Yeah, I have a guy in the room. I just punch him. I have a guy why just punch. That's a punch guy Bring that naked PA out here. They could be a real punch. They're all gonna get a punch in on him And then he is so nice, bro. You really so much stress you punch the guy. Yeah. Oh my god Just recreating it. Sometimes he whimpers. What? And it's like, thank you. I needed that I need my like my physical release to require like have a whimper at the end of it, right? Yeah, so that's just like riding shit. It's like Hollywood. Hey, we're in an air conditioning war with the other people in our building

Oh, dude, I'm gonna fucking slap this show's be I don't know what's going on There's an air conditioning unit and it's on the wall and when we flip it to cold I'm sorry Sorry when we turn it off they come back out and they flip it to cold and I've never we've never Passed each other in the hallway So we we come out and we turn it off they come out they put a cold we come back out We turn it off to come out. I'm fitting. I'm gonna put why do you turn it off? It's fucking it's too. I'm not getting 54 in our office. It's like it's like they make it

They're maxing out. I can see my fucking breath, and I want to put a black bag Do you think it's because a they really like it that freaking cold or be the temperatures and get to their I think they got a grow room That doesn't make sense. You know how grow rooms work, but they're using heat lamps This makes perfect sense. They wouldn't be hanging grow rooms work. But they're using heat lamps. This makes perfect sense. They wouldn't be hanging out in the grow room. Why not? It's not what you're doing there.

It makes sense what I said. Why would you have a really chill spot to hang out? They would be regulating temperature. They'd be a really chill spot to hang out. No, you make it hot for the weed. Yeah, but you'd have the heat lamps in this really chill spot to hang out and fucking talk. Like, what the fuck?

I don't know, man. The joke specifically makes sense because there's hot stuff in the room so they're using it for temperature regulation Just doesn't logically Logically doesn't You never sat in a grown room before I've never sat in a grown room You don't seem like it From all the things that I know

When was the last time you smoked a big spliff? I don't actually know what they do I wanna go knock And if they have a good reason, then I'm like, all right, true. I'll I'll go buy a heater. So you need you assume bad reason. You want to see good reason. Um, I assume no reason. I think but I don't see.

Yeah, it's just annoying. I fight for my right to be not cold. Borderline terrorism to keep a public indoor space at 54 degrees. It's so fucking- Every target. The problem is it just affects all the offices, but I will- We should do- We should drill like a case over it, like with a key.

Yeah. While they're not looking. And then they try to come change it, and they're like- You know what Caleb's idea was? You put a note on it that says, Please do not lower this below this temperature, dash management. Management's good. Yeah. Yeah, that's clean. That is clean. I'm gonna put that note on that shit

You guys are gonna enter fucking proxy passive aggressive war. Okay, there's also two air conditioning units And one is not for us and one is for us. We put a note on the one for us the gay one It says this is the gay AC. No, we can't use it. We can't use it. Neither can they. We want it off. You turn it off Sure, yeah We can't use it. We can't use it. Neither can they. We want it off. You turn it off. We made the gay one and then they can't use it and we can't use it. Or maybe you do like a little voice box and then you be like, I'm super gay. Turn me on and then it's off. And then they touch it.

No! And they're like, no, I don't want to freaking turn you on. You don't know who's running the grow-op though. They could be gay growers. I mean it's likely. It's Los Angeles, California. It's Los Angeles, California. Speaking of riding our show lead, you want to fund it? You want to give me a couple million dollars?

I'm cool off that. You want a couple million dollars? Cool off that. Appreciate you. Give me some money. Lost a lot this past year. We're flush though. No, but this is an investment. For now.

We can give it away. You're gonna get this one back in stride. Get this back. Do you know first time you don't need money? We yeah, we do you so you don't need any money. You don't have a script what is no script We don't talk about with scripts you've done. No we were done with a pilot you have fucking cock sucker You have right that whole bitch before you start shopping for money. No no it's actually the opposite It's actually I learned that I didn't know this either though I didn't know this either It's all fucked up

Because if you write the whole show if you write the whole show and then you go sell it Then they make you rewrite the entire thing because they have to pay you for the time spent on creating it because they own it So they can't own it if you pre-wrote it so you have to rewrite it anyways Wait, that's why you only write the pilot You sell the pilot and then you write the season. Yes, Aidan, bald student, balding student. Bald non-traditional student, what is it? What can we help you with? But aren't, I thought they're buying the script,

not paying for your time. I don't understand. No, they have to own both legally, so they make you rewrite it, so that's why most people would just write a pilot, and then when they sell the pilot, they write the and they'll usually like secretly like on the low have An idea of where everything's going and then they go to the writers room. They bring those ideas to the table Wow, so we're not doing that cuz we're going indie brah. Do you want to be a fucking big shot?

We're going indie you want to be a big shot. We get you Look your cocks gonna be famous if you do this. Whoa, OK, I'm in. I'm talking big wiener on a billboard. You'll never go to the L bathhouse again. You'll only be W bathhouse from now on. If you go to the bathhouse after fucking making it big with this, they will worship you. You understand? Because it's a bad thing. Free scrubs.

I don't know if you want to. You worship to the bathhouses. You know how much I learned? What do you want? You kind of want to be middle of the pack. Yeah, you want to be kind of unnoticed. What do you guys think workaholics got for a per episode budget for season one? Season one I'll give you a you want a hint 17,000 you want a hint no no hints okay no hints $17,000 an episode I have no reference no budget. I don't enjoy guessing game episode

$750,000 an episode. That's fucking crazy. That's fucking crazy. They shot their pilot for 50k and then Tommy Central made them reshoot it with the full budget and they got a $750,000 per episode budget. I wonder if the pilot they shot was low-key like a little funnier because like maybe they nailed

lines better. I think it probably wasn't. Imagine. Because I've seen, because like the work of Hogs Guys, they had mail order comedy which was like fucking like 18 years ago, and then they did fifth year, and it's none of it's funny. But it's basically all Workaholics. Was it always Sonny's first season? Super low budget too. Yeah, the joke was they shot it for $50 and then they- They shot the first pilot, the first pilot they sold for, that isn't in the real show for like 50 bucks And then they're...

There was like some on some YouTube shit. We shot a show for 50 dollars. Yeah, they joked that the, which is technically true, that the camera in your cell phone is better than the camera they shot season one through four with. One through four? The ones that went to TV? Yeah. And that's why the idea behind that is like just go make shit.

Just use your phone. Go make your movie. Yeah. Don't fucking sell't try to fucking sell it Just fucking buy some shooter Don't worry about the money aspect Make your movie Don't look up if all the League of Legends characters are naked and you can use it for porn uses row The movie the boys have a discord so the Australians have a discord server and it's just I bet that's an easy transition

And it's just I bet that's an easy transition It's just all like dude they're on this Tom kensch kick where it's just his big meaty Nasty dick in all kinds of all sorts of messes all sorts of situations cut it up and make a crudo Shimi you go in there and they're like talking about like, oh, that's a bad day on the rift, good day on the rift. And then just Tom Kinch's fucking wet penis. Like what are they just spamming it back and forth? Yeah. When it's appropriate.

Yeah. Like give me an example. Like I'm like, oh man, I lost my past few. Lost my past few. This guy inted so hard. Look at the chat log. Next message. Tom Kinchetch wet dick

Kaisa in the background going home alone McCauley Culkin Cuz guys can't believe what she's saying Mackerel yeah, that's shit. He said I have a League of Legends team now. I saw that What I missed this oh you, you oh, oh you oh oh Oh, oh Shopify. Oh, you missed that? Rebellion. Dan you look like well we can do it girl Watch it watch it watch this watch this. Name the players on the team. Uh oh. So the team's not doing so hot It's early days. Can I get a celeb shot? Yeah, celeb game! Who's your favorite player on the team? Don't do this to me. Oh my god.

It's early days. It's early days. So you want to say it, you want to go on a podcast and say I got a fucking league team. What if we show a lot of pictures of one of the players? Surely he'll know their names. I know one of the players? Surely he'll know the players. Go fudge. But we got a player named fudge. We got fudge. But candy. What about me?

Crab me. Crab. Yeah, me. Crab's on the team. Team. Everything's going to be so like you can't get a celeb game. Why? Because you're bad. Oh, my God. You asked your you asked your coach, could, one out of twenty Challenger games, could I win one? No. And he was like, yeah, you could win one, maybe two. And you said, oh my god, one, maybe two.

So maybe this is my one, maybe two. Sorry, okay, I could win one, maybe two. Oh my god. He's pulling rank on you. Second off, that's a Challenger game. I would win zero LTA games. He's closer to you than you are to them. True. Yeah bitch. And I'm not going in. No, here's the thing, low-key. I can see the gear is turning in

Ludwig's head. I played in a fucking professional League of Legends match. He comes out on stage, he fucking plays a game, he fucking fails miserably. It's a YouTube video. It's a great idea. Well originally I was going to walk out with the team because our jungler isn't is an available to play right now. I was going to walk out, but I couldn't walk out because the funeral came up. But that's going on right now. The it was this weekend.

It was this past weekend. How do we do? We lost. We lost. Oh, too. And then a team. Yep. L.A. North. So we're just like, you know what? You're right. We should put all the money in a barrel. We should just light it on fire. Look, hold on. Hold on.

Daddy's got us. Big Daddy Shopify's got us. You're and you're right, Slime. And that's why a different company is putting the money in the barrel now. Shout out. My boys at Shopify. And look, maybe we're not going to leave. We're great at Valorant Okay, Shopify rebellion eSports the Saudi Arabian way That's their thing. I don't that's not hard. That's that's the you think I'm gonna see nine

That's all of the teams right now. That is kind of all this is all the team all the teams is kind of Saudi Arabia Pilled except Shopify rebellion. It's on the blockchain. No Saudi Arabia build except for Shopify rebellion it's on the blockchain no it's on the blockchain Shopify is on the blockchain imagine Shopify rebellion a big mural on the side of a desalination plant in Riyadh cool we kind of cause a big oh it's so big salination plant we're gonna put Their evil so we can sell we can sell sleep see water and we say it's the salt of our opponents Republican hair product liberal to your hairspray. It's a sea salt spray. It gives you that you get the fuckboy haircut but it's liberal tear that's a million dollars this is a billion dollar idea this is a industry package with the black rifle coffee that's a crazy idea that's a crazy idea you cut that shit out of the episode we have to make that

that shit does well Trump you Trump brand it liberal tear he puts it in his hair and then the logo is the cut out of his hair? The lid on the bottle is his hair piece We can use the Guy Fawkes mask Oh bro This is so clean And if you put it on your face to not get the spray on your face It comes with the bottle

And you get that fucked up awful pig woman haircut that all the Republican women have They're like 55 years old. Seesaw spray works well. Yeah, but like, they be using it on their fucked up like salon, like, they're disgusting. No, they're beautiful hair that uses our product. Beautiful hair that uses our product to look better.

Yeah, they only eat like fucking, like Slim Jims and shit. Hold up, hold up. We need a name. We need a name What our awesome product? I thought it was liberal tears. Oh just liberal tears. It's clean. It's easy You're right. It's like the damn the beer they made Like it's a fucking American beer Fucking and it just turned out it was rude because uh, here's this cuz Bud Light got woke, right? Yeah, right. They made like, like non woke beer and then it's like they just brewed it in the same and how's her bush facility.

You know, if they made straight beer, right? Let's just say it was called it make you straighter drinking. It would kind of imply you're gay. Yeah. It's like, well, you could be trying to fight off the gay, but if you have it in you from the other, it's too late. No, no, no. You're trying.

It's like, it's like, if I drink the straight potion, what am I straight? Maga babes after I am my border wall Belonka ultra conservative dads, you know online shop or 100% woke free, you know, okay, it's not woke free if they're talking about how it's featured in the New York Times. Yeah Are you kidding me? Oh shit the mainstream media service will no longer complain about big corporations who use our money to indoctrinate our children with their woke garbage

This is to feel like this is a pair is I feel like this is gonna be like no, that's the thing, bro It's not it's just like this. Why did he put conservative a pair. I feel like this is going to be like, no, that's the thing, bro. It's not. It's just like this. Why did he put conservative dad in? I feel there is no. OK, old people. This is my my question. My question is guy who runs this guy in charge of this. Yeah. I get that the messaging and the buyers may there might not be a sense of irony

about it. It might be a legitimate desire for breathing the seller. But do you think the guy who started this company doesn't like he must know the grift. I think I'm leaning into this. He doesn't believe the message. Well, hold on. I don't think he's not right wing. I think he believes it. I think the guy who made this products in China right now.

Yeah, I think the Chinese man. I think the guy who made this parts in China right now. Yeah I think Chinese man, I think deep-seek AI I think I think you're yeah, bro. They obviously I don't think they're just like fucking woke Moralist liberals with no hair. I don't think that either. I just like but yeah I think they believe they believe in shit like this at a funeral really. I didn't die at the funeral. You just have it every day. Do you know what I thought of because I knew you were at a funeral? I thought of that weekend lyric when he's like something about his cousins trying to take a picture with him at his grandma's funeral.

Does that shit happen to you? Is someone trying to take a pic with me at the funeral? No, it's the weekend voice. No? No, has's this they try to take me at my body funeral. It's the weekend voice. No No, that's never happened to you. Everybody's some like family event sad shit and they're like Love it. It happened at Mikey's wedding and a wedding is the death of a man. The death of a man Male yeah, that's the death of your boy the death of a bachelor. The death of a fucking real one. He got cuffed That's of my boy Chris

Shit rip all my homies. All our married goats out there who don't get to play video games anymore Bald and chain I don't know I'm back We can wrap it up after this one Probably wrap it up after this one Probably wrap it up Aiden asked to leave pod after having the most bald look of all time I Think you look I'm a thing literally going back

I've been thinking about you going to Sweden a lot recently and how racist you're gonna be oh Yeah, you're gonna come back. I think you're gonna change bro. Yeah, you're gonna be oh you're gonna come back I think you're gonna change, bro Yeah, you're gonna get fuck. I think he's gonna be on some like after I've lived there for a while I kind of see the point. I just don't understand why you have to come to my country I Think I think you guys would be right ten years ago, but now we're I Mean look we're no better as American American. Oh, We're but we're encroaching on Scandinavian territory. We're trying to get Greenland to become more racist because you get a slip when you have that country that far north.

Yeah. You get like a Norse like lightning bolt put in your Ford, like Harry Potter. Everyone when the moment we buy Greenland gets struck and we all become a little more racist. You're going to go to see them. It's going to be nice. Then you're going to go to see them it's gonna be nice then you're gonna be you're going on vacation talking about your promo move oh I think he's talking about the move forever and ever I can't wait to your fucking gone bro you're gonna be so sad he's gonna come crawling back oh you are gonna crawl back like al back. I will be coming back. Do we want to? No, yeah.

Nope. Yeah. If you leave, you're gone. The first man to go Sweden to America by crawling. Crawl. No plane. No. Crawl the entire way.

Yangling's going to be like, yeah, that makes sense. On an airline. If you come back, I'm going to hire 20 people who look like you to sit in every desk, every chair. All in Bape. All in Bape, which is what you'll come back in. Bape full. I'm not going to come back in terms of Bape, Sweden.

Dude, it's like squid game, like all the guards, they wear those things, but it's just Bape and it's Aiden's fucking like squid game hell. And he's just trapped in this warehouse. That would be awful. Yeah, and I do. I don't think you understand Bape creates a visceral reaction in my body. It makes me angry Why I think it is I even when I first saw babe as like a kid. I thought it was so

Ugly I Don't know why I've been around that long. Yeah, baby. Yeah a long time. Yeah I don't know what Wayne's brand truck fit zipper. Can you have an TRUK fit is it pants? It's babe for your legs Okay, babe for your legs is a better brand. Okay, girly pop that looks like where's Waldo? That's like some shoot you were wearing that one. I'm not gonna lie to you. I would wear fit eBay. Yeah, no you're Low ways lot of ca ca okay, maybe I'm fucking as old as little Wayne, but these look kind of cool I would wear this. This is Lil Wayne's. Are you smoking hot? Lil Wayne's line of pants. Caw caw? Okay, maybe I'm fucking as old as Lil Wayne, but these look kind of cool.

Yeah. Like, if I had one of these, actually, these are a little loud. Lil Wayne is cool. Oh, they got the PewDiePie pants. He's a rocker, too. They do look like it's PewDiePie. He's a rocker, but he's also a rapper. He got snubbed.

How so? Didn't get to do the Super Bowl. Oh, right. And Nola. Dude, Kendra's gonna do Not Like Us at the Super Bowl, and it's gonna be like 700 million people talking about Drake being a pedophile. That's awesome. It'll be a win for America.

No, because Drake's suing him into science. Who's the Super Bowl? It's Eagles, right? And someone else? It's the Eagles and the Chiefs. Chiefs again? Taylor Swift says cocksucker boyfriend made it He they they the Chiefs beat the Bills for the third time in a row or the third time of the AFC championship Which you would think is bad for the Bills fans But it's not that bad they went to four Super Bowls back to back to back to back lost everyone So Travis Travis goes to be sucking cock in that locker room. No, I don't suck and cog in that locker room

I don't think he has made necessarily a reason locker room? No. I don't think he's sucking cock in that locker room, Loki. I don't think he has made necessarily a reason to. Loki, yeah, I don't think, unless, unless Patrick was like, yo, I really need this. In which case, I think he would, but I don't think he does need it. No, you don't think Patrick? Maybe if the penis had awesome Taylor Swift lore inside of it. Maybe if it made him closer to his beloved.

Do you think he knows a lot about the lore? Of what? T-Swift. Oh yeah. You think he's tapped in like he's like. I think she educated him. Wait he's got to be one of the most tapped in. I feel like I'm like that's great dear. I don't know anything. No no no. Yeah does she not leave it at work? What are we doing? Who knows more about Taylor Swift? Her measurable biggest fan or him? Her biggest. Her biggest fan. Her biggest fan. Her biggest fan. Her biggest fan. Her biggest fan. Her biggest fan. Her biggest fan. Her biggest fan. Her biggest fan. Her biggest fan. Her biggest fan. Her biggest fan. Her biggest fan. Her biggest fan. Her biggest fan. Her biggest fan. Her biggest fan. Her biggest fan. Her biggest fan. Her biggest fan. Her biggest fan. Her biggest fan. Her biggest fan. Her biggest fan. Her biggest fan. Her biggest fan. Her biggest fan. Her biggest fan. Her biggest fan. Her biggest fan. Her biggest fan. Her biggest fan. Her biggest fan. Her biggest fan. Her biggest fan. Her biggest fan. Her biggest fan. Her biggest fan. Her biggest fan. Her biggest fan. Her biggest fan. Her biggest fan. Her biggest fan. Her biggest fan. Her biggest fan. Her biggest fan. Her biggest fan. Her biggest fan. Her biggest fan. Her biggest fan. Her biggest fan. Her biggest fan. Her biggest fan. Her biggest fan. Her biggest fan. Her biggest fan. Her biggest fan. Her biggest fan. Her biggest fan. Her biggest fan. Her biggest fan. Her biggest fan. Her biggest fan. Her biggest fan. Her biggest fan. Her biggest fan. Her biggest fan. Her biggest fan. Her biggest fan. Her biggest fan. Her biggest fan. Her biggest fan. Her biggest fan. Her biggest fan. Her biggest fan. Her biggest fan. Her biggest fan. Her biggest fan. Her biggest fan. Her biggest fan. Her biggest? Her measurable biggest fan or him? Her biggest- Cutie knows more than him. Okay, yeah, yeah.

To be clear, Cutie knows more than Travis Kelce, but Travis Kelce knows more than any of us combined. Yeah, we're not necessarily fans. No, but Travis knows the dark secrets. Well, Travis knows- That the fans will never know. Travis doesn't know her like Cutie knows. Travis knows how many blood boys are in the basement.

There are no blood boys. He knows about the secret Riyadh show that she did to all the princes. MBS is just clapping along to shake it off. And it's like a 100 person show. And they're all wearing that fucking outfit. Chance of flying to Istanbul and take a boat and then drive a bus and nobody knows.

All right guys, that's the Yard podcast. Thank you for coming to what we like to call our Istanbul. Yeah. Yeah. And we'll we'll see you in the Primo episode, which we like to call our Yard. And comment below on Ludwig's fit and see if it's actually gas or it's fucking crass. Thank you. Bye.