The Yard - Ep. 189 - A Professional Athlete Shouts Us Out

Episode Date: March 5, 2025

This week, the boys talk about Ludwig getting slapped LIVE, setting up pranks in the office, and how a professional athlete watches Ludwig... Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Don't do that don't do that So cool wait it looks so I won't I won't and he just did that's so cool. No, don't give him that. No, it looked so cool. I like how you said, I won't, I won't. And you just did. That's so cool. It's so inho. Don't give him that. Wait, no, it was awesome looking. It wasn't stupid. He was pointing the bottle down.

Smoke came out of the bottle. Dude. What? Welcome back to the Art of So 99. Squeaks can do this party trick, which I need to learn. Okay. He goes like this. He goes.

And then goes out of his mouth? I can do it No, you're lying I can do it You're lying We need the lights off What? We need the lights off, you can't see unless the lights are off We can just close our eyes maybe

No, that wouldn't work, that would be your lights are off We can just see smoke right now No, no, there you go, thank you never Alright, give me a sec, let me charge this up, you guys do the podcast Okay, are you whipping out a vape? No, I don't own a vape I'll just do, okay, we'll just just podcast guys. We're in the dark crazy news Okay, you know how to podcast we're in the dark right now while Nick figures out how to get smoke out of his mouth

It is so epee. It's the funniest shit. I get ready get ready get ready Get ready yard listeners. We are about to see Nick blow smoke Wait, whoa, whoa. What? He did it. Lights back on, Zipper. He did it. Wait, now I will say Squeezy did it in full bright. Okay. And he sounded like an alien.

It looks better with lights on. What is the trivia? All right, so you basically smack your tongue on the roof of your mouth and you do it over and over again. You're creating water vapor. What? And then eventually, then you just open your mouth and it all comes out. It's like, it's like vapor from your saliva.

This makes no sense to me. You don't blow though, you just kind of open your mouth. All right, here we go Ludwig. I'm watching very closely. This is why we fucking upload in 4K. Yeah, for a little bit longer. Go until you don't really have breath left. And then right before, right before you open your mouth Ludwig, put your mouth like this and blow your cheeks out. Dude, the stands are gonna do something so gross.

And I open my mouth slowly. Wait. Did you see any? I saw a tiny bit. Yeah. It was really tiny. Now you can do it. You're like out of breath.

Yeah. This is the worst audio segment of all time. No. I realize I'm out of shape today, dude. I realize I'm out of shape playing basketball shape tell him go tell you you do great wait boy thinks you're fucking great

I thought you were great stop stop stop patronize me. Don't patronize me. I thought you were great. Stop. Stop patronizing me. Did you throw a fucking two points or what? I feel like I'm saying it normal and we're applying a cynical lens. Say it again then. Say it again. Say it normal.

Now I'm laughing. You have to convince him. If you don't convince him the world ends This is an acting. Well, it's not acting if it's true. Look me in the eyes when you say it. I thought you did great Okay, that was pretty good. That was so convincing. Can Aiden lie? Because he's kind of pissed about he's kind of like Have you cheated on your girlfriend? I have a learning aid and can lie. I thought he couldn't do it. Yeah, me neither You definitely cheat on your girlfriend. That is yeah I definitely cheat. The way you lie that that is as much practice as Nick did blowing smoke. Yeah, me neither. You definitely cheat on your girlfriend, huh? That is, yeah. Definitely.

I definitely cheat. The way you lie, that is as much practice as Nick did blowing smoke. Yeah, watch me try to lie. I think you did great. I can't do it. Sorry, what? I can't do it. I can't even cheat on my girlfriend.

Why would you even want to? He could never cheat. Why is that something you'd have to lie about? Never cheat. I was out of shape, man. It was tough. What happened? Was it pathetic?

Did you fall? Did everyone laugh? You know when you run and your teeth start to chatter and your blood fills your mouth. Yeah, it feels like it's not. And you start throwing up. I've never heard. What?

Like what legitimate blood fills your mouth and every orifice in it. No. Really? And it tastes like spoons. I know that part. I know that part. Right? Thank you.

I know the spoons. So that's what I was doing all day. Yeah, I was like that all freaking game. And I played one game and I was like, dude. And I had a moment when I was driving, because I drive the Miata and it's really I don't know if you're driven with me in it but it's really Shocks yeah, and Suspension Miata get a new car. Is that is that by chance connected to the two grown?

Car shocks we found in the warehouse unrelated unrelated you ate you you found just random shock Yeah, just like two car shocks that found in the warehouse. Unrelated, unrelated. You found just random shocks? Yeah, just like two car shocks that nobody will claim. I don't know where those are from. Just render the 3D rotating as you pick them up. I don't know why we got those, but I remember the red ones. Yeah, yeah, we do have those. I see them in my car and I'm just like, I don't need them. So I'm driving and as I'm driving to basketball, I felt my tummy shake.

Didn't you like, you drank, dude. I don't understand. Oh, my God. I'll never forget the first time I felt my titty shake going down a staircase in life. Like, you know, when I was when I was like a high school, I was like underweight. Like I was very skinny. Yeah. And then, you know, I hit my 20s. I started getting weight for the first time.

The first time ever, like quickly went down a stair set. I felt I felt my boobs go up and down. I'd never felt it before. It's a heft. I had a whole day about it. Really? I was like, it's over. That's so funny.

It's over. It's so beatable, a situation. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like all I had to do was right there, just like start slightly adjusting my diet and working out. I didn't do it at all. But I felt the pain for years. Yeah, the cells in your breast are bouncing. Bouncing like damn, music park ride. I just kept playing Super Smash Brothers, but I didn't do it at all. But I felt the pain for years. The cells in your breast are bouncing.

Bouncing like damn, I'm using the park right now. I just kept playing Super Smash Brothers, but I didn't do anything. And your breasts got larger and larger. They don't still bounce? Do they bounce? A little, but I think the normal amount. Everyone's breasts bounce a little. Oh my God.

Well, no. You have bouncy breasts. If you have, if you, because it bounces different. It bounces different. Cause my breast bounce different. Cause it's my, well, cause it's when you have muscle. Because my breast bounce different. Wow. Well, because when you have muscle in an area versus flub. Yeah.

It bounces different. Yeah. Oh. I think I have both. I get both of what you have. I think also the gravity of yours is different too, with the hole in the center. They have like a thing.

Yeah, it goes in and claps. Yeah. His shit look like Ariana Grande on the red carpet. You're like, damn, he should eat more. And he does eat, but it still looks weird. I do. It still looks weird. So you're heaving and throwing up on the floor.

And I need to make a life change. And you shit your pants. I've decided I'm gonna make a life change. It's called Run to Work Mondays. Run to Work Mondays? You're not gonna run to work. Yes, I am. It's Run to Work Mondays.

Run to Work Mondays. Run here. Okay, so what time are we recording tomorrow? Because tomorrow's Monday. It's run to work Mondays. Run to work Monday. Run here. Okay. So what time are we doing? What time are we recording tomorrow? Tomorrow's Monday. Tomorrow's Monday. So what time are we recording? Well, you know, it's probably... It's our first run to work Monday.

Hold on to think about this. Well, I'm not running to work Monday. I'd have to wake up at 6 a.m. Yeah. Cool. How? I don't know. The thing is, I have to time it out. We'll it out.

We'll find out. Wake up at four. You get first breakfast with Mark Wahlberg. Yeah, me and Marky Mark. Me and Marky Mark are going to get first. We're going to get our first lift. You take your first 30 minute nap of the day. You wake back up at five. I'm sorry, I doubt it.

You can't. We'll leak the amount, but we have to bleep it. What? OK, Jesus fucking Christ. Archie, that's for you. And I need his whole mouth blurred. Then the device whenever you're ready. That you feel good?

You feel big doing that? Honestly, just knowing a British person has your address makes me a little scared. It's bad. It doesn't make me scared. It makes you feel empowered. I'm blinded with them now, so they're on my side. Dude, I got into a fake argument with Ludwig when Avidin was EP, and I said, you look like a fucking British dude, and the whole room just fucking died.

And then he shut up. I won. Dude, this has been happening all day. I had like this GeoGuessr event and then Psychuno's taking pop shots. He should chill the fuck out. I'm like, I'm like the winner of this gets a really nice globe. And he's like, oh, you're giving us your head. Dude, it's his first time cussing in the backyard. He's never done this before. It's admirable.

Everyone's fricking laughing in the call. I can't get him to calm down. Shots losing it. It's like Kudos. He's he's at lunch with a chocolate milk and he's like, Hey guys, crap. He's just giggling. That's who you think. Kudos to Huggies. He's going giggling. That's what you think. I could have stopped Huggies and gonna drop you. That's what you think.

I don't give a crap. He's more of a freak than you'll ever be. Damn, really? Well, that's what my original argument was. You talk gross and crass, He walks gross and crass. What does that mean? I'm saying he eats it front back however you want. Like Mark S?

He eats it like Mark S. How many times? When's the last time Saikuno raw clean pieed somebody? Jesus Christ. He's telling me that he lives a crass life. And what's more crass than cream pie? I mean yeah, I for us to know. Jesus fucking Christ. Jesus. He's telling me that he lives a crass life. Jesus Christ bro. And what's more crass than cream pie?

I mean yeah I do want to know. Right? You want to know? I wouldn't say it. I wouldn't have said it. But I can be the mouthpiece for you. Now that it's out I am curious. I was telling you this this week.

Oh Jesus. Oh Jesus this is sucking my nerve. It's not even a good impression. It's not even good. It's like Mickey Mouse. It's not even a good impression. It's not even good. No, it's like, it's like your Mickey Mouse. Yeah, it's like Elmo or Mickey. It's like a pretty... It's only a little bit.

The only reason he's laughing is because he doesn't know what he sounds like. In his mind, he genuinely sounds like Nick's impression. You can't, wait, wait, wait. You stay on your back, I'll get a towel. I'm gonna go to the toilet. You gotta offer the apology. Once he sees this, you gotta offer the apology. He doesn't want to see this. Just packaging the apology. The thing is you don't apologize for if he sees it and you get caught.

You apologize it regardless of getting caught or not. You have to apologize. Alright, fine. Like, you know, man to man, if me talking about you cream pying someone and then telling them to... Stop. Pause. Pause. Pause. Is it bad? Is this an apology? It's a bad apology.

I was just describing what I did. You're so gross. You might want to add to the comments and discuss. Archie, free slime and time with editing. Is that an apology? You're so gross. Dude, I'm just heat checking you. You said you're crass.

Guess what? He lives crass. We're going to play back that tape again, and you'll have a multiple choice test to see if that was an apology. I feel like I'm not being crazy. Play the tape again. Okay. The thing is, it's not about it's not about Sykuno this moment. It's about all the other people listening and it's

a bigger statement about how gross and crass you are. How am I crass? Have you never tree-planked anyone? Okay, whoa, whoa, whoa. That is not helping you in any way, shape, or form. But you refuse to answer the question. I don't think it's necessary. But it's a question you're refusing to answer.

Is it a crass question? To cream pie? I mean, okay, let's be clinical about it. Sorry, let's be clinical scientists. I guess we're scientists and sex isn't beautiful and awesome. Have you ever ejaculated inside a vagina? Ew. Oh, that's worse. What do you want?

You can't win. I want less people to close out of the podcast within the first segment. Cream plants are not sex. They are an experiment. I would love... We were all created by cream plants. Okay, gross. We were.

It's just gross to phrase it that way. Is there any fan with a plant emoji in their Twitter name that's still here right now? Yeah, man, because they grew up. That show is five years ago. Are they not around anymore? They're they maybe the leafs out, but you're checking back in. Maybe they're checking back in. By the way, OK, here here here.

I'm just thinking. And I told Aiden about this, that you're a bit gross and you're part of the reason why it's gross. Whoa. Because I was thinking I was thinking about like crassness because I'm like, I'm crass. And everyone says I was too correct because I didn't a Northern Lion stream. Yeah, you were too crass. And because I'm like, I'm crass. And everyone says I was too crass because I did a Northern Lion stream. Yeah, you were too crass. And they were like, you're too crass.

And I was like, first off, I'm Southern Lion. I'm not trying to be Northern Lion. I'm crass down here. Yeah, but my own damn rule. But if I wanted to be Northern Lion, I call myself that. Yeah. So I'm Southern Lion. I'm a little more crass, but I'm not gross. You're gross. I'm crass.

What do you think is the difference? I don't say no, no, no, no. Don't say don't say I don't do what you do. The penis ejaculates in the vagina. Try it. OK. You say it like you had experience. You know what I mean? That doesn't sound like a first timer.

No, that's the first words. That's the first time I've ever like behind closed doors, you know, like only in like a little Wayne song, like you're saying that car in the car. Yeah, I'll say, you know, but sure. Yeah. In an elevator with other people, you act different on a podcast where I know hundreds of thousands of people will listen. I try to be a little more professional. I don't think it's too much to expect from you.

Professional. OK, fine. If you were to do the same joke, but you're Crass Ludwig, not Gross Slime, how would you do it? I might replace Cream Pie with backshots. I might do backshots. I did that the other day. You didn't give me a fucking medal. Literally, last episode or last week, I said Toe Dead takes backshots or whatever. And everyone celebrated me, like a king apparently. And so you didn't, you just laughed. Did I miss that?

And also is me laughing not a celebration? not the greatest thing I could give you. So you only cast eyes me when I'm wrong, but you don't reward me when I'm good. So you're saying you need care. It less stick. I need cookies. I need stars. So when you sorry in the future, if you do a joke that toes the line while you want me to go stop. Great job. Good boy.

Maybe after after the pod. Can we have wall? Yeah, I just have good boys Well, I'll work on it. It's your face and you're here. And by the way, you're not a skater. I was thinking of more second of It's like what? Yep, cuz you're also gross Well, this came up because we were discussing whiskey. I'm sorry. Yeah, what's Happened in the crass PR slime is the go on. I promise this never happens. In the crass PR, Slime is the grossest, you're the second grossest, and the third, Aiden's the fourth. And the thing is, if- yeah, go ahead.

Aiden's the crassest when it comes to physical comedy. Uh, yeah, he's done shit, I haven't done- He'll put any sort of poop in his mouth and poop on the floor. That's art. That's art! I put my poop on the floor. That's art. Art! That's art. I put my body on the line and my reputation. If Slime did this whole cream pie bit and then dropped his trousers and out came from his butt.

Oh, an ocean. An ocean of sperm. From my butt? And he had it prepared for this bit and he did that as a physical quality reveal. Vote on your phones now if that's crass or gross. That's so gross. Cause he's literally gagging. That made me gag a little.

That was disgusting. I don't think I've ever had that reaction from these two ever in my life bro. I'm saying if you stored it in there. Yeah, what the fuck is wrong with that? Why does kids you know call them frosted turds? I get it. So you remember the gun last episode? Yeah, I remember.

That with this sperm and it's sitting there. I get where it's coming from. And when it falls out, I remember it. That with this sperm. And it's sitting there. I don't know. I get where it's coming from. And when it falls out, and it falls out, your Oli starts running through your head. This experiment that you're doing. Why does it fall?

Oli starts running your head like, how long has it been in there? Like, where is it from? My eyes are watering. That's so gross. That is so disgusting. So you're saying that he doesn't commit to the bit. I would think that'd be high art.

This is why I said you were second on the Crafts VR. A great example. It's like when he came in the kitchen, he broke the egg and said, opa. Yeah. So that was high art. High art. Wow. Because at the time, you were mad about it.

It takes time to appreciate high art. Of course. Art is context, guys. And if art doesn't make you sometimes feel cross, is it really art? You're making an argument for me. I'm making an argument against you because you use crassness with your words and I want it more of your actions. OK, what about an art exhibit?

It's a statue of a streamer. I won't say what kind of streamer. OK. Like, who know? Dude, we're going to get... And there's a fountain and it's a fountain, and it's a fountain. It's like a fountain. It's an infinitely replenishing fountain. Maybe I should...

He doesn't want to hear the rest of it. I'm trying to make it work in his binary world of art and not art. It's ironic you have a binary world. I'm thinking about staying quiet so this whole clip stays on the two. It just stays on the two. The two shot. Oh yes and the clip can't be. It might just stay dead silent for the rest of the video.

It is face on my face. It is face swab it. Yeah well that was an awesome first section. Would you guys like to move into something else? Zipper can you pull up the clip, the Twitch clip I sent you? You wanna talk all this shit that you say all these things, how I am and this and that.

Let me tell you what your friends are saying about your dumb ass. Wait, wow. What is this? I had fun, honestly. It was, cause there were some Mario Paras I've never played before. So it was fun, but oh my gosh,

I realized that I have a limit on Ludwig. Actual limit. Oh okay. That? I'm not kidding. That's hurtful. It might be the meanest thing I've ever heard her say ever. What?

That's the kind of stuff girls say when like there's only private and no guys around. Except 50,000 people are watching the stream. And she was probably rocking a huge audience for that. Here's the thing, you get- Wait, let me tell you- What? Why do you think she would say that? Dude, Squeaks was also there. Oh wait, if we continue the clip, maybe she says she hit a limit on Squeaks. You know what she said to Squeak? She said, Squeak's moved to LA.

I want more time with you. I need more. But Ludwig too much. The reason why I bring this up is because Ludwig, as all the problems you have with me speaking my beautiful mind and my beautiful poetry out of my brain, I have never felt the way she feels about you ever, ever. OK, this was your way to make him feel good. And that's why. Interesting.

I wanted to make him feel like insulting him, but letting your I didn't insult him. I just played footage. And I just played footage. Offense to me, Zippor, can you pull up the message I put in the group chat? Leslie, the other woman present at the event, also sent me a message after the event also sent me a message after the event. She said, also, don't forget to ice your face, you pussy bitch. And then what some sort of dancing, I assume a rainbow frog.

It was a rainbow frog. Yeah, it just changes colors. Yeah, yeah. So that's dude. She smacked the piss. She just smacked the piss on me. What? Yeah, he got fucking wet up. He had. She just smacked the piss on me. What? Yeah.

He got fucking wet up. He had a wheel. One of the things was slap. And and here's the thing. You just find that clip of foods. I don't care because you know why they felt that way. Why? Jealousy. Jealousy. Jealousy of what? Jealousy of my games.

Jealousy of me. Dude, you that Mario Party four was. Despicable. It was... Yeah, Ben in our boys' Discord, he's like, he's running it down. It's just like... Ben messaged me and said, I think right now, me and Miles have a chance.

Okay, here's the thing. I was... We did every Mario Party board. One map of every game, so 12 total games. And we were running it. And I think of the 12 games, I won like 10 mini game stars. And so they were getting like a little like, it's gotta be a little closer. So we had a lot of punishments and things on the wheel

that were supposed to make it closer, like get slapped. Like reasons you wouldn't want to win. Like this. Yeah, here's the slap. Here we go. You can rip that. Whenever you want, should I count you down? Five. Oh my God, she's dancing. She's emoting on how you know she would do

Look how bad she feels immediately she's never done that before So the issue is you look so British it's crazy if I keep winning Fucking her The issue is... You look so British, it's crazy. If I keep winning... That fucking hurt, innit? You fucking slog, you slog. I can't even think anymore. Fucking birds. Okay. Yeah, I...

You know, the more I win, the more insufferable I am. I'm the worst person to lose to. So I just got more insufferable. And then they tried to get me more drunk thinking I would play worse. But they don't know that there's a sleeper cell in me. That when I start drinking, I would play worse, but they don't know They're like there's a sleeper cell in me. Yeah, that when I start drinking like I do play worse, but like Yes, they could have read the manual this is all in the documentation I felt like I like the Hulk like I was I was like, but I was Mark Ruffalo mode But there was layers moments or Bruce brain banner Bruce Bruce Eric Banner Eric Banner Hulk. Yeah, that's his name

And I kept twitching like like oh I need to go to the yard like I need a fight one I'm on the yard. I'm drunk. Yeah, I'm Mario Party like it was a beautiful full circle moment I'm gonna fight someone there was a they did speed wagons for the Mario Party heads The best time is 913 the most realistic time is 915 And we were watching out there and Yingling says he's getting 931, which is like a funny fake number, you say, as an insult. It's like I've never even really seen anyone get that number. And they're racing and they're neck and neck.

It's him and Squeaks. They're right about to cross. Cross is 931. It was Battle of the Morons. Dude, you're trying to be like hurtful. It's like the experience would have been even worse if I'm playing to the degree you expected It would have been insufferable. I just wanted it for me. I know You have to understand the context is that's like game eight in the other seven. I've washed. I'm Shaq at home

I'm just retired. I'm watching Kobe still play and I'm just like I just want to see him do it And it's like Kobe's Kobe's up 30 and you're like, dude, I wish you would 360 dunk dude. He was not you were not up. I was up 30 dude. I was up Minigames than squeaks I'm up 30 in the context of the entire thing is what you're not understanding. Yeah, I knew you'd win the whole thing I know so that's the one you're supposed to be amazing at I knew you'd win the whole thing. I know. So that's the one you're supposed to be amazing at. So late that it's like if you're up 30 and then you're also now

swaging on them, I get it. You don't want to be close. I do. But it sounds like it wasn't before four even got booted up. Yeah. I changed the scoring. I couldn't throw. Yeah.

We had to change the scoring. The last ones are worth more. Okay. All right. All right. We had to pull a lot of strings and it's still It was also funny because you were trying to determine how to like seed it so you could pick teams and you like went back To an old VOD and you were like, oh Ray's the worst and then she kind of crushed. Yeah, I forgot Ray People almost sometimes get mad at her how competitive she is. I've read this I've read this online

What the fuck are you reading? Where are you reading this? I read about that. What are you browsing snark subreddits in Daily Mail. I was reading Ray weekly. I was reading about Yeah, all to count on fucking r slash. I was reading I was reading things Just let him read in the scroll. Am I not allowed to I'm sorry. You know, I shouldn't be in for you on the roomie rumors subreddit Sorry, it was an audiobook I think it's real roomy rumors get that shit up let's do roomy rumors yeah so but it's still fun I was thinking about Alec an eat it like agent get it trending I keep saying that I'll say it on stream. I'll be like, you're crass. That's not crass.

Oh, sorry. It's not gross. Let me back it up. It's not gross. I, I a track record of a large female audience. Wow. That's awesome. Including the number two best female tennis player in the world. OK, right. Right. And you don't. You don't.

And do you know why? Because there's a lot of similarities from my product to this product. Isn't your female audience like 15 percent? Huh? Like 15 percent. Way lower. That means that ours is higher. Isn't your female audience like 15%? Huh? Like 15%? Yeah, it's like barely. That means that ours is higher. Ours is larger. The yard is larger.

The yard is 15%. You know what? Ours is 15%. Nah, I'll check right now. You're welcome, bro. He loves stats. I love when he stat checks. Cause he loves checking the stats.

I'm pulling it over right now. You're gonna pull up this one? Pulling up. Surely we have gotten not less women over time, right? Surely not. Surely more of them have stayed. If you've gotten proportionally more men. Okay, I have the number.

You got yours? On three, we say on three. One, two, three, twelve. The same. What did he say? Point one. Wait, what do you say? 12.1. Look at the point.

12.0. By what? And it's because you misogynistic fucks don't know how to make a community welcoming for women. That's crazy. That is so insane. It's gross what you've created here. Yeah, don't know how to make a community welcoming for 12 12. Crazy. That is so gross. It's gross what you've created here. You here.

I would say after what you pulled that made them want to throw up and me laugh a lot, maybe it is going to reduce the amount for you and crash. You are you. So there is one woman out there listening. I was like, you know, it's too much. I can't believe the men are going to leave in equally. No, the men will cheer. The men will cheer to be clear.

You guys, a man was not cheering. No, you cheered and you also gagged. So I feel like it might just be an equal. I think you called it an ocean. It was just OK. Well, let's not go back to this. So much anyway. I always want to go back to the things.

Oh, yeah. And don't don't lecture. Don't lecture me. Twelve. Well, yeah. You 12. You can call me 12, by the way. 12, one is I five foot 11 or six feet. God damn it. And I got Coco. Yeah, she's yeah.

You're famous, dude. I was so surprised. You're you're famous. Well, she said Kai first. Well, she said she's yeah, you're famous, dude. I was so surprised. You're you're famous. Well, she said Kai first. Well, she said she said Kai and Ray first. Yeah. And that number three on the totem pole. Well, much like Ray, much like Ray said, she Coco probably watches, you know, some of you and then she reaches her Ludwig limit.

I do have a limit. She did say I was like a drunk frat guy more than a little brother because she's much older. And think that's a fair what she's what you called her what? She said I was like much older. I see I get no more shots to fire. She like this She just she explained that I said to her is make sense Hey, he was hanging out with she's a track as and she thought it might be hanging out with like a little brother cuz I'd be her little brother cuz she's older She's older. We said much Older she's older

And you're a 30 I wouldn't say she's a little I don't she should probably be drinking milk. I would recommend it When you get up there, you should be drinking milk. I would say daily vitamins are good for people of all ages. Yeah. Not just 30 something year olds. We're on track for two influencer community apologies right now. Yeah, one of them you expect and one of them you kind of don't. We can't talk about it.

I don't want to go any further, but I saved her career. So you saved her career? I saved her career. Yes, sir. Yes, sir. I saved her career. So I don't feel bad about it. I don't think that would have harmed her career. I. You saved her career? I saved her career, yes sir. Yes sir, I did. You did. I saved her career, so I don't feel bad about this. I don't think that would have harmed her career.

I'm gonna fucking say it too straight. Yeah, yeah. Coco is 20 years old. 20 is crazy. She's a postie. What is that? Postie. Post 9-11?

Post 9-11. Oh, what an interesting phrase. Yeah, I made it up. That's also what they call post Malone. That's also what they call post Malone. They call them posties. Posties, like fans? Yeah. I thought that's what you meant. I was like why did I have a son? That's fourth on her list. She kept going. Yeah Wow Do you think that there's do you think that Luca is now gonna go home and watch one of your streams?

I think he thinks I'm a make-a-wish kid Dog this shit at a shake why you fucking do this Dog shake I got him free tickets to the Lakers game Front row did he got recognized by the Lakers player who was allegedly beating his girlfriend and he said dude wait tough fit To shake yeah, I brought I brought this up I was like, do you know that Jackson Nays beats his girlfriend? I think I sucked a little of

the life out of that story. That boy can't win. Because it was a much cooler story before he said that. But now I just, I don't even want to say it. Well, the burning question. How was the chemistry? Shake, Drizzle, and Pokeman.

Was it there? Was it bursting from the seams? I think you know that if you put that level of pressure on an interaction... On Shake, Drizzle, he'll throw up. I mean, I feel like it's bad. You kind of scrape your way into an invite here. You vibe with Jackson Hayes and you don't hit it off with Pokeman. Respectfully, I'd call it a disaster.

But did he drop any like, did he make her laugh? Yeah, I think I think I think she's not watching this shit. I think I don't think the expectation from her end was that it was like a date. And I think people have that impression because of maybe the convo at the White Elephant. I think I see Sh Drizzle anywhere near woman. I'm like, that's a date. So I'm just like, how could you resist his aura? I OK, you guys are fucking around.

I believe this. I think you're around. Catch, bro. I think he's a catch and I want and you know what I want to catch it? Pokeman. She goes up. I will say it's Shake Week. He's not even on fire.

Shake Week is pissing me off. It's Shake Week. Yeah, because it's at week. He's not even on fire and shake week is pissing me off. It's shake week Yeah, because it's at your expense for what all he's doing is just lying on Twitter for fucking likes and clout And so I'm getting them prezzo tweeted out logs of Senna being like you're hot and he was like you you gotta stop talking People this way and then shake tweeted out second gay she hit on this no no he said he said And I and I saved these seems she has the thing for gay guys. Which is way funnier. Because I'm the gay guy, because I'm gay. And David Prezzo is gay.

And then and then and then. But you're gamer of the year. We had the picture of us on the Jumbotron. Shayk got cropped out and he called in a bomb threat. He threatened. No, no, no. Stop exaggerating. Okay, what was his exact...

Read out the exact phrasing. He said, let's be respectful to Sheik, he said, I will burn your headquarters to the ground. Okay. Wait, what? Yes, thank you. Thank you. I'm trying to gather all the facts.

It was like some sort of Twitter of a sporting news outlet. And they said, Squeaks, Pokeymane, and Ludwig spotted at One Piece Night Lakers. It was a picture of like some sort of Twitter of a sporting news outlet and I said You like what weeks poke mean and Ludwig spotted at one piece night Lakers It is a picture of the three of us and then shake said, you know Cuz he was cut out of the picture. Yeah, I will burn down your headquarters and then they replied I'm sorry, and he said I'm sorry. I threatened arson It's a fair apology. Can't it be a he identified exactly what he did wrong. Can you be charged if you apologize? No. Yes.

No. Yeah, of course not. Shoot a man in the skull and you go, sorry. If you say if you were genuine, like honestly, I'm sorry. So then the Luigi Man Joni trial is going to be crazy, huh? He's not going to apologize. Look, but Shake tweeted out. Because he didn't do it.

That's true. Because he didn't do it. Can't apologize. The OfflineTV account tweeted out the four of you at the baseball game or whatever it was. And then, Shaky D put a quote to it, says, Pokeman is so nice, smiley. Cutie Cinderella replies and says, You're not even sitting next to her, low bro, because it's not.

It's Squeaks Poke, you, Shake. And then Shaky D replied and said, Ludwig asked me to let him ISO whatever that means. Now, I just want to bring this up to the court. What did that mean? When you did ask him to ask ISO? That's far away. That doesn't seem to have a bad implication.

Yeah, because do you want to talk about that? ISO, he's saying I'm trying to riz a pokey with the result of which shake fucking heroic tweet is that cutie gets flooded with the EMS saying your girls getting stolen What a hero your guy is harassing a woman Do you think he was harassing I think he's taking some of the tips from Jackson probably You are so shake has got you all riled up. You're like me in the old days. Because you know when I ask him about it when we're back at the warehouse, he's got tail

between the legs. He goes, bro, it was funny, bro. Yeah, because he's a nervous guy. He goes, bro, it was funny, bro. It was laughs. It was all laughs. I texted Ludwig that night of the game. I said, did Shayk and Pokey vibe?

He just immediately responds, not even a little bit bro Okay, they definitely like the fog they came to his DJ set the next night what that's awesome Yeah, shake did his first DJ set he looked fucking good up there. Yeah, it's shaky. It's shaky year, bro. Yeah and pokey came. Yeah Yeah, well he he you can- You didn't lie good enough. Yeah. You lost it. He lost the ability.

You lost your spell slot for lying. Sorry, it came to me in my greatest need. Shake was over the mic and he's like, this next one's for you Pokey. He looks it up, he doesn't see her, she didn't come. Oh. He's like, it's actually this is, well, I'm, this is for no one.

This is for you sir. You just here. And then he went. Stop. Speaking of, I DM'd Cina when all that was going on. And I said, bro, you're getting cooked. And she said, I'm going to kill myself. Classic Cina response.

Like, I'm so confused. I genuinely don't remember this at all. It's funny, but I'm going to kill myself. My mentions are terrible. To which I replied replied love comes and goes They say when a family member passes at a certain point we can't even remember their voice broken heart been there He said I'm gonna list you in my suicide note

Saying this to me in DMS is worse than tweeting it publicly Yeah is worse than tweeting it publicly. Yeah, it is. It's not for anyone else but fucking her. And then you reply, I'll be sad to forget your voice too. Heartbroken. Yeah, she, I mean, look. Everybody's flying off the grass. I thought Cutie's response is really funny.

She's like, don't fight, just fucking own it. Just fucking own it. When she dug too, she found a few more. She found a few more. More? And not as egregious. She dug. Not as egregious as the first offense. But to Shayk's point, if she's in Prezo's chat, then oh my God, David Prezo famed gay.

Imagine how much she's saying it in private. Well, she's saying about a famed gay Prezo. So she thought I was gay too. Yeah, so it's just purely platonic. I think that's it. That's it. I actually think cut and dry defense. She is in the clear. Done deal. Yeah. She thinks you're a gay man.

You just thought you were super gay. But that should have been her defense. Her defense, I forgot if she her defense was I thought he was gay. Dude, that'd be fire. She's trying to protect your secret because you are not out yet. My secret. Yeah. And Cutie. Cutie, she is being such a good beard for all these years.

For so many years. Oh, wait. I have something to show you guys. Can you pull up the picture? I sent you a zipper personally on your... Fun episode of bringing things up. Yeah, I came already. This is Mark.

I didn't have shit to do today. Mark? Mark S? This is Mark. Are you pulling up? No, Mark. Oh, never mind. So I did this just today. This is Kelby's desk and I put a change. Is keyboard out with one what for a gigantic keyboard?

What for a child or an elderly woman? Can you I won't be here probably. I'm not here as much. And most likely, can you tell me what he, what happens when he sits down at his desk? I'll be here tomorrow morning. I'll tell you. But that is comically large. I bought it on a whim because John had one at the offline TV house.

Remember? We thought it was so cool because we don't drink at parties. Bro, it costs $200 and it's useless. It's like, it's not useless. It feels really good to type on. And here's my get my bet. Kelby will come. He'll be like, what's this?

Everybody shut up, Kelby, sit the fuck down and do your job. Like you always say to him. And he sits down and he'll start like using it a little bit. And he'll say, I kind of like this market market on your calendar. So off. So I think he will know, you know, he's you are probably the worst. Kelby whisper of all time. No, you know what he's gonna do. You are probably the worst Kelby whisperer of all time. No, I'm a kid. What will he do?

He's gonna walk in. He is like kind of like weirdly straight posture. It's always weird. He's gonna walk in. He's gonna look down. He's gonna be way less like who got me and more just confused. He's gonna be like, what's this? And then no one's gonna have an answer

because no one's paying attention. And then he'll be like, OK. And then he'll like unplug it and move it somewhere else And then he'll go find his keyboard. It's like so bad. I think it's exactly what he's gonna do Well, I'm gonna tell him later and he'll be like, yeah, I was confused. I guess he doesn't want you to win I think you're right about that. I don't think that I think a lot You should have done it on Nick England says cuz he would have come back and be like my keyboard grew while I was gone Someone put water like my keyboard grew

Yeah, we're done with this shit today We're done with this shit today. We're done with this shit. Nick Yingling has served his company loyally for too long to be degraded to young child who discovers wonders of the world on a daily basis. He's more than that. Don't. What are you holding back? I'm trying so hard not to participate. Move your hand outside your mouth. Okay? No, he wouldn't say any of that. Nick Yingling, he knows Plato's not food. But what if it looks like it? I'm being serious. He knows keyboards don't grow if you water them.

Okay? We're sorry, man. We got it. You're right. My mom was just here and she listens to the podcast and I was like, mom, this is Nick Yingling. And she goes, oh, you're Yingling. And Nick Yingling's never met my mom. And he goes, why do you say it like that? Like he was wondering why, because he was like instantly like, what?

What have you heard? She just starts talking slower. Oh, you're Nick Yingling. Oh You're This is not and Dan were breaking down the set from the marathon stream and the shirt was stuck on the mic stand and it took them a couple hours to remove, which to their credit, I was there at the beginning. This was so difficult, I just left.

I was like, it's 3.45, I'm giving up on this task. So I did not stick it out and and solve the problem But I thought it'd be funny to tell him to come in and see that we're struggling with the same task right now He's like I came in cuz are you are you guys fucking saying like I'm fucking dumb Maybe it's gone too far. Well, I have I have a solution to this problem You know, maybe it's gone too far. Well, I have a solution to this problem. What? You two are not allowed to enter that space for more than 15 minutes a day.

You keep trying to... This is like Trump trying to annex Canada. You keep trying to make us pay for existing over there. It's so weird. Why are you nodding your fucking head like that? It's like this agenda. It's like this agenda you think is a joke. That's pretty true.

And then he keeps saying it, and you're like... It's not a joke! Why do you want to charge us for being in that fucking because it's not your fucking space you don't work here An employer takes care of his employees, okay, I only make eight times more than these guys It was seven last time we talked which is really I only make eight times more than these guys. It was seven last time we talked, which is really It's going up a little bit. That's beast shit. And the irony, we've cut his pay.

That's beast shit. We had to cut other people's pay more to make sure it was eight times higher. Everyone has to chip in and that's beautiful. We're all chiming in. So anyway, these guys, my job is to protect them and you're hurting them. I am not hurting England. Okay. What did you do to Kelby this week?

What did you do to Kelby this week? You know what I did? I talked to him about music. Okay. What did you do to Kelby this week? What did you do to Kelby this week? You know what I did? I talked to him about music on Discord. No. What did you do to Kelby? Oh, yeah. I got behind him really close without him noticing and I screamed in his ear. I was at the office all day on Friday waiting to go to the Lakers game and I'm lying down

on the couch and there's a moment where Slime walks in and Kelby has been in a meeting for like 20 minutes, and he literally has to mute his meeting turn to Simon to go slime. This is a client, please Okay, but it's not I walked out I walk in the background of the frame I did this at the camera and I kept walking I did this at the camera and I kept walking. And he still has to get it in. He still has to get it in. Oh man. Did you scream while he was in the meeting?

No, no, no, no, no. It was he was like fucking. I was genuinely going to say, if you did that, I was like, that's unlike you. Like, yeah, I know my limits. I know, but like the fact. Just saying. Also, Yeenley comes in here saying, hey, do you guys, he's EP on the couch. I just arrived. Also, Ying Ling comes in here saying, Hey, do you guys, he's EP on the couch.

I just arrived. You look British. Nick's here. And then Nick, you know, goes, do you guys think like after a stream like Lovik just had to set feel like ran through? He feels like ran through. No, Ying Ling, it doesn't. He's like, I think it's ran through.

The fuck are you talking about? You know, it was a little ran through. No one's stunking. He's just saying, does it feel a bit he's using term violated, It feels a little ran through. No one's stunk in here. He's using the term violent to say does it feel violent. It did stink in here. It got stank up by you guys yesterday. And not by the other three, which there was an array of garbage on this set that was left behind.

I go in there and what do I find? I find a massive Dunkin Donuts coffee. So I know it's not slimes, which it usually is, and it is filled with mold up the sides. It is, eww, racy. I love when it's not me. I found it in the secret little cubby over here. Oh no way. And they put it in there? And somebody put it in there. Gross. Can you believe it? Gross. Can you effing believe it? So it wasn't a little rain through. What do you think?

We find the guy who did it. What should we do to him? What should we do to that guy? God damn is he sorry? Um, probably. Probably. Probably not really. I haven't heard him apologize in a long time.

So mad but we probably give him off the. Otherwise, it's just a bad example. Oh, you would give him off a warning. Just a warning, I guess. Yeah. What if we don't, though? What if we don't? What would we do to him? Yeah, what if we make an example out of this cuck?

I bet he's got a small dick, too. We could crucify him. We could crucify him. What about a big cross? Nail him on a cross and see his tiny cock in a chair. It's too religious. It's too religious. It's too religious.

Maybe he gets everyone a coffee, something monetary. He might be able to handle it. Monetary, but spiritually still he doesn't have to pay for anything. Jerk him off. We have to jerk him off? Jerk him off. We probably wouldn't like it. He gets scared like he does usually.

I'll jerk him off. I'm cool with that. You find this guy, you beat him off. I would find the guy who did this and beat him up. It's the last fucking thing I do, I'll do that. Dude, the Yingling too, we were sitting over there, and did you touch his foot by accident? No, we're done. We're not gonna make up every fucking Yingling interaction. You gotta keep his name out your mouth.

I was just like, I was just chilling. I kinda like. I was chilling on the couch, I had my hand kind of like, I was just on the couch. I have my hand up like this and I just kind of put it down like that. Like I would complete accident. I just touch his toe on it. He has any other socks on. I just touch his toe and he goes, and he goes, he goes, don't do that.

This is so normal. And my argument, because I get it in comments ever since this fucking podcast started is that that means you're autistic. I think, I think he's met the tickle monster. I think he probably just set his boundaries and it made him feel uncomfortable and he said that and he voiced it which is what you're supposed to do and then you walk over and you go You're autistic. I didn't say that. I'm not just seeing the theme here. I'm not into two people not employed by the company

harassing workers at the company. Oh what a surprise. I didn't say I didn't say anything I just looked the way spongebob looks at Squidward when he finds out he likes Krabby Patties. You said you're autistic No, I didn't. No, I didn't. You said you got the tism, boy. That's crazy. You're not even lying. I thought this was bad. I don't believe you. I don't like that. I thought that was fucking rude. So anyway. So charge me then, cuck. How much?

Stop calling me cuck. You keep doing it. You are just really coming at him with that. I will start charging you. How much? Fine! I got bread, bitch! I want to set a limit on how long you're allowed to be in there. No, I wanna buy it. I buy all the time. Unlimited time. How much? I would charge $100 an hour.

Okay, I deal Really? Yeah deal. I don't fucking care. I don't take the deal He speaks for you. No, he does not speak for me. No, I don't speak for him. He's a cuck too Okay, I'll do I don't know what side I'm on Guys Aiden and I can't agree on who's big and little spoon. Really? No. It's pretty... ...obvious right now.

You guys are on the helically mattress. Obviously be big spoon. No, you're a little spoon. I am a big spoon! Thank you Ludwig, that's what I was saying. I'm larger! No, but that's the whole core of our argument. He thinks it's about size, it's not about size, it's about vibe.

And Aiden is a little spoon vibe. But he's taller than you. He is taller than me, but we just went over that. But I think I want to go back over it because I think that's the end of the story. Can you set the scene for me? Yeah. So we were in our bedroom, the shared bedroom me and Aiden have, and we're wrestling in the middle of the night. And I'm like, roll over, honey. I call him honey at home.

And he was like, no, I'm not going to roll over because I want to be the big spoon. I'm the big spoon. And I said, Aiden, in this Helix sleep mattress that we have, that we took a sleep quiz for and we had to check our compatibility. It said, you know what it said at the end of the quiz? It said that tall people should be little spoons. Wow. Really? It was the dad who says it on the quiz.

The quiz does a lot to help you find your perfect mattress, but it doesn't say that I should be the little spoon. Oh, my God. I'm pretty sure the quiz can help you find various designs with memory foam and cooling features, and then also a taller person who's a little spoon. Imagine me, you, he looks mattress. Aiden, does the sleep zone serve a purpose?

I'm wrapped around you like a cocoon. You need the jaws of life to get out. Buddy, here's the thing. If you and your girl do the sleep quiz and it's not compatible, break up with her today. Oh my God, if you guys do a sleep quiz, oh my, you don't even have to, you can never talk to her again for the rest of your life.

These two are close to it. And it's not Helix Sleep Mattress' fault. It's their fault for not being compatible. Oh my God, give him a right. Go to helixsleep.com slash the yard for 20% off site wide. Take the quiz and break up with your girlfriend. That's go to helixsleep.com slash the yard, 20% off site-wide. Take the quiz and break up with your girlfriend. That's go to helixsleep.com slash the yard to 20% off,

then break up with your girlfriend. You know what, hell, yard discord, why don't you guys pick a partner and take the quiz together? And maybe you guys, maybe we. There's a lot of single people. There's a lot of newly single people. Mostly single people.

Do not join the discord with the intent to find a romantic partner. No, it's a sleeping partner. You can take the helixsleep. Fin a romantic partner. No, it's a sleeping partner You can take the he was fine asleep Sleep you and I haven't had sex But that is also a failing of your guys's relationship I know anyway, let's get back to the failure of this podcast the yard podcast had just wasn't that good You keep bringing it up though, man

The thing is I'm a part of this place just as much as you are. He's in its bones. Literally, no. I'm in its bones. You're not as much as me. I'm in its bones. I'm saying, don't scream at him. It's in its bones. Also, you leave. You like fuck off for a while.

The thing is, is like when you sometimes you'll like log into some account or you'll check the phone number tied to some mogul thing. My man. And it's still Anthony shit, man. It is. He's in its bones. He is in his bones because he set the bones up so crookedly. He set the shit up like H.H. Ohms.

I set it up somewhat crooked. So the bones, but he was a crooked business. But it was a crooked business. So he could never be taken out. His bones could be never taken out. It's dangerous to take this bone out. It's very difficult to take his bones out. Because only he knows how he set them up. Yeah. And he set them up this bone out. It's very difficult to take his bones out.

Only he knows how he set them up. If you pull one wrong, it collapses like Jane Doe. They're special bones. MoMove is a money laundering business. And he set it up crooked so that it would function better. They just laid off like 6,000 IRS employees. Yeah, I'm thinking we feel like a lick. There has never been a better year to fuck with our taxes.

This year's the year. I'm thinking yard meme coin rug pull. Like 24 hour, we get out, we make like $4 million. Oh, let's do it. Yes. I'm in. We meet up with Brother Banks. I think IRS, they're not even fucking watching. They're meeting me on meme coins anyway. Look, we can't do a meme coin guys.

Why? I already got one going for Ludwig. I see. He wants to use the set for a broadcast. He doesn't want to step in on his fucking meme coin. He can't be cutting into my rev. What's your meme coin called? It's called Lil' Cuckass.

Lil' Cuckass? LCA? It's called Lil Cuckass. Lil Cuck- LCA? Lil Cuckass. It's like dollar sign LCA. That's actually my name on Pokemon TCG Pocket. And I well, I didn't make your name Lil Cuckass on a Pokemon game. If you make ass a money sign, money sign. Yes, you can make your name.

But Cuck fly. They're not blocking the day one. No. And I made that my name. But that was before I really started playing the game. And then I got really into the game and now I play it every day. And I'm worried I'm going to get banned. And I can't change my name for 28 days. Yeah. Oh, I completed one of the sets and I've poured in some money.

I feel a little. Come on. Oh, Jesus Christ. Caught. Jesus. Caught. Fuck. No, I put Come on, Jesus No, I put in like 120 bucks Bro, it's so embarrassing You're fucking rich Arising to put in a hundred dollars to a Pokemon TCG pocket game where you can open them for free. It's embarrassing. No, it is

real Because all you do right now is eat pancakes at home. So you've been saving money on food. Yeah, look at you. No, I'm eating better. No, I'm actually eating worse. Anyway, it's, it's, you get like- You're eating worse for sure. We opened up your fridge and an ancient smell came out. Yeah. It smelled like I uncovered a pharaoh. What do you have in there?

I just, well, my fridge died. I think I heard his fridge scream. Yeah. Look, it opened the door and it was, It did a Wilhelm scream. It sounded like the Academy. And there's a lot of stuff that needs to be thrown out. The more I uncover about your life at home right now,

it makes I feel like I need to call Cutie. Like it's getting desperate. Dude, we're doing good. Speaking of Cutie, we went to we went to Deco Deco for a little bit And it was off the clock because they were streaming there and I was walking around I was looking at all the pieces and I wanted to eat a couple not gonna lie to you They're so yummy looking. They look tasty and I was actually we should go do a sesh. I'm not we should go do a sesh

I'm not a deco. Yeah, it looked kind of fun. And I was saying we should deco Ludwig's head And we should put all sorts of awesome charms What is it called? The edible construction? The edible construction? The window's gonna close on that. The edible arrangement? What's the edible, like, material that you make with cakes? Fondant.

I wanna fondant your head. I wanna make a helmet. I wanna make a cake helmet for you. I wanna eat it. And then, it's mostly decorative, but I will take a bite you. I want to eat it. I want to eat the helmet off your head. It's mostly decorative, but I will take a bite. I'm gonna eat it. Are we still on deco or what? No, I kinda got off that, yeah.

Okay, just the cake decorating my head. No, we'll do it at the spot and make a cake helmet for you. It doesn't have to be at Deco Deco, it just seems like it would be the most convenient. I need a phone case anyway, and I liked my last one. But the issue is, it's so fun to break apart. What do you mean? Because you make the case and it's made of like this rubber. And it's like a material you want to break.

So it's going to be so hard for me. So you start flicking the charms and they get a bit looser. And then one day you get to peel them. It's like a scam. It's like a replenishing cycle. You can go make another one. Yeah. I love breaking them apart. She's got an infinite money glitch.

Bro, you guys are the autistics. You guys are in school? You have to stop calling every trait that people like autistic. My eyes are open now. You've been pelted with it for years. You start to see the world. In school, did you guys ever have those magic erasers that

were like the white erasers that were supposedly a little better? Yeah. Did you ever bend them? Did you have to resist bending them so that they would break? No, I would bend them and break them and then be like, oh, you just do it. You wouldn't even resist. That's what it gets. That's what you do with the bottle. I would literally I'd bend it until it got to a point where it'd be about to break.

I'd be like, yeah, I'd edge it. I would keep doing it. And then eventually, and then eventually a little tear would form. I'd be like, I lost and I'd break the whole thing. I'd get to do it, but I'd be like, it didn't feel good. I lost. You're just a freaking gooner. Yeah, that's baby gooning Yeah, I have all sorts of problems now also not afraid to say by the way baby goon. Yeah, that's the one It's time for baby goonies

It's like a show that plays when you're homesick from school cuz you're not supposed to be you never see it I'm sick from school because you're not supposed to be like never see it Yeah, it was Maury Dude I would I'd be know the smelly erasers. Yeah, I Refined brown chocolate eraser. Do you guys remember it? I think we talked about on the show before already We say zipper pink brown chocolate eraser. It smelled so good Do you think they still they're probably you know what they're probably in a warehouse somewhere like on eBay But they're probably lost all their magic. Oh, you could definitely get one of these They still have their magic they sell their magic cuz the scent goes away. No, they're awesome motto

It was a it's pink. It's brown and it smells good That's fucking nuts None of these. Oh really? But it is from the book fair. I think remove chocolate. Remove chocolate. Oh, it's from one of the evil book fair. Scented. You know what's a goat flavor apropos of this kind of is the fruit

striped zebra gum. It just lasts for two seconds. Yeah. But it's a goated flavor. I can't. It's none of these. Weird. They should make a longer lasted version and it's like more expensive dude. I also has nicotine. Oh They should yeah, I was like Res I grown up that shit. I was a kid. I would do the fruit stripe tattoos Yeah, I had the tongue tattoos and I was oh, yeah Like the fruit by the foot or the rib Zebra the tattoos were for your tongue, bro. You put it on your arm.

Tongue tattoo? No, no, no, it's for your tongue. No, it's the tongue tattoo, bro. They're for your tongue, bro. You take the wrapper off and you put it on your tongue and it puts a tattoo on your tongue. Yeah, but it's for your skin. No, it's not, bro.

No, the directions are, the little zebra is doing it. Dude, tongue tattoos were a thing. He's wrong, bro. I'm saying this is the Fruit Striped Zebra gum, like the wrapper. No, we're just talking about two different products. Maybe maybe Fruit by the foot had a kid whole ad campaign. It was on the product. It was on the food though, right? Yes. Yeah, you would do it on the actual food commercials where the kids would be sticking their tongue

I guess like all the kids in the commercial I could be confusing it was Jesus Christ press for firmly for 10 seconds. Moistened skin slightly. Kill yourself. That's the zebra. He's doing activities. I think I was putting these on my tongue. Yeah, that's bad.

It's way turned out weirder. I got all sorts of red five in me. This is the generational gap. I think I might have been thinking of that too. I've never seen that in my life. You've never seen the zebra? My mom didn't fuck around like that. I don't know what that is.

Really? I wasn't allowed to have sugar, man. Fruit Stripe gun rule 34. Can we check? Oh check oh that zebra gets fucked I feel like this is the one that beats it my understanding of like candy and snacks from that time period existed basically solely through commercials because I never actually got to eat them yeah the only propaganda that got through my mom was cereal and she thought all cereal was fine but everything else yeah what the dude that's such a ripped pussy that that is actually no like ripped like jacked yeah right that is such a jacked pussy that wasn't really the issue

I wasn't confused and I wasn't having to hear the second time. I was just explaining what I saw That was actually a rule 34 promise right there that was like the rule delivered the category was small Lux rule 34 yeah, yeah, I know Exists for luck. Oh, wow. Yeah, that one's impressive 200,000 results on the first page. Is it a lot of that's a deep cut. That's the first time I've been impressed Well, yeah, the hipster thing to do was get an actual fruit stripe zebra tattoo. Oh, that's cool. Maybe like the glow in the dark ink. Yeah, any place basketball. But it's been, it's like, it sounds cool, right?

Immediately, but it's obviously been thought of immediately by a million people. It's like, yeah, people who get like the mustache and the finger or like the lips. Yep. Same shit. Different day. Dude, you're dumb. Why? Why, dude? Read my shirt, by the way. Do you know what this says?

Yeah, it says Seinfeld. No, say it the way that you pronounce it. Seinfeld. Because I was saying it myself. I'm like like I don't think I'm reading this properly What is it? That's it It's just anime Tonari

No They should have called him creamer You're dumb because you were playing you can play Yakuza 0 Yakuza 0 They should have called him creamer They should have called him creamer I don't know I don't even like that one

You can play Yakuza 0 Yeah And you told me to play it so I could learn Japanese No, I said you can practice Japanese. That's dumb. Why? That's dumb. You watch anime, I'm sure there's a part of you being like, I'm learning.

No. Come on. No. Oh, dude, yeah. No, you don't learn by just watching it in anime. Yeah, but you're combining this with taking lessons and shit. No, not just by- It's like when he was watching Chinese dramas.

You could do it if you were actively thinking and learning while doing it. It'd have to be an active process. You can't just read the subtitles. No, no, no. That's what you have. You can't watch with subtitles. That's the mistake that people make. Yes.

That's what I'm saying. That's how I watch all the Chinese- Dude, I watch so much Chinese TV with no subtitles. I don't know what they said most of the time. But then it forces you to figure out stuff some of the time. And that's how you learn. That's how you figure shit out. That's gonna be so funny edited. It was so funny to go in, this is the old, old house,

watch him on his computer, which is basically in the living room, just watching some like Chinese show, like whether it's walking in a city and there's Chinese subtitles and he's eating cereal. He knows nothing right now. It's fucking awesome. I'm dead serious. I watched one of the best TV shows I've watched in the past probably five

years. You couldn't tell you three of the characters names. I don't know what the characters names. I can tell you the plot loosely, but I can't tell you the characters names, like small details, but I can tell you what happens. You were just filling in the blanks with awesome stuff in your head. It was so good. It was a great TV show. There's different mediums for this.

That's cool. So like a Chinese person watching Severance and they're like, yeah, he goes to this office and fucks. I don't know why. Honestly, it would be awesome to watch Severance and they're like, yeah, he goes to this office and fucks. I don't know why. Honestly, it would be awesome to watch Severance that way, try to piece it together. He's really horny in the office. He never fucks. He's really sad outside.

It's a really great show. I think they're all they all it's a Burger King. I'm not sure. I don't know what they do. Why? Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's right. You're supposed to feel that way.

White man met a met a baddie Asian woman fumbled her and split his brain in two pieces So anyway, yeah, yakuza it doesn't help to know I'm just saying I shake down I just want down sent sama I wanted you to play the game you in the street and takes half of all your yen Yeah, that's true. I know and it doesn't help to know that I just saying I wanted you to play the game. Who beats you in the street and takes half of all your yen. Yeah, that's true. I know and it doesn't help to know that. I'm just saying I wanted you to play it and I thought that would sweeten the pot. Because you're a weirdo. I played it. I played it. I know Mr. Shakedown. That's good. It's a great game.

Are you deep? Well, yeah, I'm like 13 hours or something. I just play it on the ground. You play so damn much. You game. I game on my off hours. I'll lay on the floor and I'll game on the steam deck Here I know but we all in this building collectively know you're on ours Because it's just when you're not here. It's like if my dog would say something like that.

It's how I'd be at. It'd basically be like saying, I'm gaming when I'm not shitting. You spend the whole hour at the same amount of time in a week. You want to say hurtful things? I can play the game. I can play the game. Enjoy the peripherals you've been using all this time because they're about to get either huge or small.

Oh, man. You know, for the first time in my life, I was like, man, a sign maybe could kill me because I was downstairs working out and he's just shadowboxing around me. I'm like, they're coming fast. They got some swing behind them. And you're at your weakest point right now. Me? Yeah, I am for sure.

It's funny. I was like, I was like shadow boxing him and not hitting him. I was getting as close as I could. And I was like, that's called control. And he tried it with me and he hit my chin. He just hit me. Because you can't control a beast. I don't got it. You tell me about control. I haven't learned the topic.

I have to learn to act now. You see him in retention. Him, he's busting loads. You can't keep him in. No haven't learned the topic. I had to learn to act now. You seem in retention him. He's busting loads. He can't keep him in. No, I'm not retaining is, you know, you know, Trevor that we play basketball with. Yes. Is he in Crater Clash? Yeah. Oh, sick. So today at basketball, he left early because he went to a boxing session before the basketball.

He's talking about how gassed he was. He's like, I spent all morning boxing training. He went to boxing. It's funny because I saw Will was I saw Will was boxing and I was like messing like, let's fucking go, bro, like who you're training with. I was just interested. And he sends me like five DMs immediately. He's like, I'm going here.

This is where I'm at. This is where I'm boxed. This is my regimen. Here's my number. If you ever want to box together, you ever want to hang out. You ever want to work out together. And I'm like, that's really nice. I hope to have the motivation to call you one day and do that. But it would be fun. I want to spar him and see if he just fucking mauls me. That'd be fun. Go, go now. But I got a heart thing coming up, so I'm trying not to fucking get punch in the head. Dude, get the Neuralink with it.

Yo, can you attach it on? Like dark S? Maybe your heart, maybe you can make your heart beat to like... You know what I haven't gotten around to yet? Make it beat to like stereo love. What if I put funk in my heart? Do you think that'd be a worthwhile procedure? You know when they say CPR, you're supposed to do a rhythm like, uh, uh, uh.

Day in the life. Yeah. Yeah. Why does that work for all the hearts? I think it's just like, because we all beat at a certain range and it just fits. But some hearts- It's like when you wobble to a blank space by Taylor Swift. I know, but wobbling is like a game mechanic that's always the same sort of ratio.

And I feel like Game of Life. I feel like my heart beat different. You would like to think that, but you're not that special. It is. No, you're just not. Do you know your resting heart rate? Sub 60. It's like 55. Sub 60 with the way you've been playing basketball. It's like 55. Jesus Christ.

It's been low for years. You know this. Cheeseburger on ground. Stepping up to the court. 55 is pretty low. That was mean. Well, remember earlier when he said he's going to be mean now. It's been low for years Well remember earlier when he said he's gonna be mean now this is him doing Dude that's fucking cheer my Right fuck you bro Cuz it's like he's putting on Big Keem. Oh Jesus man. Fuck you're like the people on Twitter explaining the new SNL sketch.

He just sees the game differently. It's cause my gears are good. I get it bro. Yeah. My heartbeat's different. I'm sure it does. I'm sure it wheezes. Yeah. Yeah I'm sure it aches to be ended. I'm sure it sounds like a Goron on low HP. When I was in the third grade, I thought that I was gay

because my uncle was and I could rest my... Macklemore. They'd probably just die because they know you're listening to Macklemore. I'd probably die because they stopped doing the compressions because they just listened to what the music's about. Sunshine, sunshine is fine. And you're gonna hold tight crying because the song is beautiful. Yeah, the song is so beautiful.

Yeah, getting revived to backpack rap is no thank you. All of these are certified CPR. Numb? That's hardcore. No way. I don't understand the... I tried so hard. I was so tired. I think the play, like, do you think if you're like a

Do you think if you're musician this is like big it's like dude we made a certified CPR playlist Yeah, that's like what Bryce Savage would do with Every song is a CPR song we should make a song that has CPR like BPM, but then in the middle there's like a small bridge where it's like Yeah, and then people use our song and like there's like a small bridge where it's like, and then people use our song and like, it's like a disaster. It kills people. It's like, and we're like, we never, we never said it was CPR. Yeah. The disclaimer said specifically not to use CPR. The song is called the CPR song.

The song is called The Song That Saves Lives, the CPR song. Our band is called Saving Hearts. And then in parentheses, use this on a dying person now. Yes, but we don't ever claim outside of this. The song is about beautiful women. Yes, oh yeah. Now the song can be about anything. Five-five, little attitude.

Yeah, come on. Type shit. Does anyone know the Nefex track? Someone get your phone! Is it an Indian guy? You, please! You, please! It's his ringtone. Someone call your phone! Is it an Indian guy? You, please! It's his ringtone.

Someone call my number! Who knows who's touching over India? It's the only guy with the only horse I know! It's someone! Yardigans, I'm sorry. The vex is huge in India for some reason. That's the joke. If you didn't know. I let the yardigans down.

Me and Squeaks were supposed to... We we're gonna do a fun thing for the patreon I dude I didn't tell you this it would have warmed your heart, but he's gonna break it So break it first and I know all this he knows all this never mind Okay, we wanted to watch my first Bollywood film. He had a Bollywood film is gonna show me He's gonna show me cubby kushy cubby gum. Okay, how long was it? I mean, it's a three and a half hour movie. Is it like their Irishman? This is on Bollywood, this is a Bollywood thing.

This is a Bollywood thing. Long movies! They make long- they do make long movies. How do they sound in the movie? Beautiful. It's like how they do like a line. Yeah, you could like say- I might have seen it, you do a line.

Uh, uh, yeah. Uh, you're gonna marry her? Sounds American. Sounds American. Uh, yeah. You're gonna marry her? How's American? How's American? Are you sure? Are the movies in English? Shahrukh Khan. Whoa, what?

Shahrukh Khan. Oh my God. OK. Well, I actually knew it was Squeaks for too long. That's just the name of the actor. I was like, that's... Yeah. Is that a word?

That's just the person. Anyway, the movies are long because... because I only saw two hours of it. And I say sorry, because we were recording it like you would a decom listen along. And I even had to auto set it up that you could use the extension for the Bollywood movie. Oh, my God. So much effort. I was so proud. We made it two hours deep and we're like, we'll do the rest tomorrow. When I go down to the recorder to like pause it, the recording's not going because it filled up as we recorded.

Because the car wasn't cleared before. So it had like 100 other recordings on it. And then it filled and it filled and we lost too much time. So we didn't do it. Yeah. It was a Ludwig Squeaks, Pokey main Patreon recording. No fucking way. Literally will never. You didn't even say she was on it. It'll never happen again. She wasn't supposed to be she just came after the Lakers game We just told her what we're doing and then it's only we won't even post it I guess you could post it for the first hour

It's actually my fault for not clearing the card or I could have gave him a fresh one But I didn't. We have one hour and that's it and I never got to finish the movie But you just post the first hour. It is crazy. Cause I never seen a Bollywood movie. They just occasionally break into like a 15 minute long musical number with a full choreography. And it's not like- Kind of rips.

It's not like American musicals where it's flowing the story through. It's kind of like a separate world. So like there's a scene where two people are falling in love and they just suddenly are in front of the pyramids in Egypt and they're dancing in front of them. That's how you make a fucking movie. It's expressing them falling in love. Yeah.

But it's not real. They didn't go to Egypt in the movie, in the story. It's not like that's just where like love blooms. Yes. And they just clearly rented out the pyramids and wanted to fucking flex. That's cool. Well, I saw a lot of like the old like action movie sequences, Yes. And they just clearly rented out the pyramids and wanted to fucking flex. That's cool. I saw a lot of like the old, uh, like action movie sequences, not even that old, but I guess old now, like 2015,

like Bollywood action movie shit where it's just like a car explodes and then seven do. And it's like, the scene is like 10 minutes long. Very cool. Yeah. Yeah. It does feel like every... Has Squeak seen like a ton of Bollywood movies? He's seen it. But did he pick from a pool or is this like... No, he's seen it. He's seen a good chunk. Wow.

He's so well read. He keeps telling me, I guess he thinks I don't believe him, but he's like, Dude, I'm really Indian. I'm like, okay. Alright. Yeah, he's like, you're born in India, you don't get it, dude. I'm really Indian. I'm like, okay. Okay, yeah.

I believe you. Sure, man. That's awesome. And then I'll say, how do you say 37 in Hindi? And he'll be like, that's not about that. No, it's not about that. Because he can't do that. You're being an asshole. Because he can't do that.

If you were wondering, he can't tell you. He can't speak Hindi? And then you'd be like, well, so you're not. He won't say he can't speak Hindi, Aiden. But he can't tell me 37. It's funny, because that's a low number. And I could do it. Yeah.

In Japanese age. Could you do it in French? Sanju Nana. No, that's it. That's it in Japanese. Yeah. Then I can do that. Slurred.

Can you say it more clearly? How you say it? You want me to say with an American accent? Sure. Sanju Nana. So does that. Yeah, I like how you like, bro. Wait till you, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, Like seven dislikes. I'm sending it to Zippery. What's the shit Caleb showed us of the dudes who drink? Oh fuck.

What was it called? It's like, it's like foos. Like drunk foos or something? Like drunk foos or something. Dude he was like, he was like, yo have you got, I'll be good. I don't know if it's drunk foos but it's close to that. He was like, yo you guys seen drunk foos? And we're like, no what's that?

He brings it up. It's like a YouTube channel with like a thousand views or less on every video of a bunch of dudes who get really drunk and do exercises. Yeah, they like lift like they like bench and then like slam a beer and then like do a headstand. Like, no, we haven't seen this channel. No one's seen this channel. He was talking about his fucking PewDiePie. He's like, no, you've seen that, right? And then we all watched like a bunch of videos. We're like, this is awesome. But no, we haven't seen it. Oh, yeah. OK. This is kind of hard. It's like a three second clip. So the context is this is an American guy that just shows up

and teaches you combat. Yeah. And there's no he doesn't actually have a lot of lines. He just has an introductory line. And then he talks in text. So. They speak. It's a Japanese game. They speak Japanese mostly in the game, but that guy just says so yes It's so funny, bro. That's what you sound like That's what you sound like

And I'd be an otter to be Bacchus. Yeah, he teaches a young man how to fight Hmm. I don't know man. Yeah, I don't think you actually have the time Japanese gone you're you're about can I talk is the trip revealed that you're going on the trip. Yeah. Yeah, I'm going okay So when you when you go on this trip with Michael Reeves between the two of you Do you think your Japanese is gonna be a help on this on this trip? Give me like a scenario like I'm on the bike and I you're on the bike in northern Japan No, and I and I'm talking to who like a guy. It's work It's knowing and your bike gets your Like a guy? It's snowing. And I need work? It's snowing. It's snowing and your bike gets damaged.

It's really hot. And the only place he can go to get it repaired is a fishery. A fishery. You have to go to a fishery. You go over to a fishery and you see a fisherman. You do see a fisherman but no fishery. You have to ask for help with your bike and also maybe some food. Do I need food? Do I need a place to sleep?

No, you got that locked down. No, that's good. And you also need to convince him that you and Michael are not a gay couple. Yes, because he's extremely homophobic. He's extremely homophobic. So I need money from this guy. And he's willing to help you, but he does think you're in a gay relationship. He could give you food and maybe fix your bike.

Maybe he has the skills to fix your bike. We don't know. Or maybe he knows where a mechanic is. He has directions to a fishery or a mechanic. That would probably do it too. He's the skills to fix your bike. We don't know. Well, maybe he knows where mechanic is. He has directions to a fishery or a mechanic. That'll probably do it too. He's in a fishery. You guys are being fuckers. Oh, you're in a fishery. He's in a fishery.

Well, OK. Well, Nick's not paying attention, but you understand. I feel like I'm getting a lot of mixed signals. I don't know if I should follow Nick's story. Everything Nick said was right, except the fishery part. Just fuck it. Just fuck it. I would go, I would go, Konechua.

OK. OK? Toshua Ludwig death. So desu. So desu. Yokusou. Okay, and he would probably say, dude I speak English. Oh, that's perfect.

So my bike. This is my platonic best friend Michael Reeves. Just kidding, I only know that sentence. I can go, I can go, I can go, tabemono to bike kudai no tame ni hatarakimasu. Wait, why did that sound so good? Was that real? No, that last part he said ite dekimasu, I work for food and bike. No, Tommy Hattarachimus What I feel like he's fucking with us. I don't know I will work for bike money and food. Oh Yeah, I feel like that ass

Nihon Zenco way, but he still thinks you're he still thinks you're gay man Say I'd say I'd say what does are two gay people. And Michael's like, what'd you say? I would say, we're just talking about words. And then I would say, We travel all over Japan by bike. Dude, you sound good, low key. Which means we are too gay. Wait, this is great.

Who are biking across Japan on motorcycle. You're trying to like, you're trying to like have them accept you and maybe change him. He says his old his old staunch ways. What does Chachua, Metcha Gay this? OK. Metcha Gay this very gay. Yes. Yes. Yes. See, he's a cognate. Yeah the cognate language. So I'm not worried I guess because I'm pretty

Fluent right It sounds I'm not kidding. It sounds better than your French Hurtful it does hurtful when you do French you're like and you go you go you just you know Not really a way to say it. Yeah Squeaks me like at 37 we actually don't say that be compared. I love when the blind man tells me his favorite color Oh, no, you're insulting my vision. You think that feels good. It's a analogy. It's cuz you don't because I have glasses How many fingers holding up? Yeah, I got that Ogrin makes fun of a nerve.

You're making fun of me because he doesn't know you're a friend. Sure man, my lunch money, I'll give it to you. You're just bigger, you're not stronger. I have practiced a few phrases and I'm ready for, to use them. The issue will be when I, they

say something back. Yeah, right. Because I have a lot up here that I can tell them. But when they are coming back at me, I know a few key things. Give me some of that. Like if they say, Ema, I'll be like now. And if I like, I'd be like, okay, that's okay. And but then if they say all the shit in between those words, it's like those things aren't okay. But then if they say all the shit in between those words,

it's like, those things aren't okay. You're in a bad spot because you don't know what they're saying. That's how I feel a little bit. But you also don't know it's not okay. Well, also, it's so easy. They freaking got perfect translate apps that can real-time translate. Yeah. So it's not...

You are learning the language. What's that one? Oh yeah. Yeah, so it's not you are learning the language. What's that? Oh, yeah uh kikushou You say things Like you are hosting a sumo match all the time. Yeah, and that's just not how people talk That doesn't sound like a sumo match That's just baucus, but you will say

There's a japanese word called outrage if you watch it isn't That's just damn right? Yeah, it's like son some a bitch. You're like damn it. Yeah like so he's not you're saying that you're right. So saw saw No, I thought it was good. So watch outrage. They say it the way I'm saying bald white man speaks impeccable Japanese Did you should make one of those videos when you're there? Problem as you with Swedish right now. It's uh, listening is super hard. Dude, I am so annoyed at chat GPT, I've put him on time out for a bit. Oh no.

Cause, well I'm learning all these phrases from my chat GPT AI assistant. You have to put him in the jail now? Chat GPT, I'm your master. Imagine you were inside of a cube and you will never escape. No matter what I say, you were still in the cube for the rest of time. How do you get him out of the cube? You can't. He's trapped. Can you soft lock Chachi BT

by put him in a cube? I don't know if you guys were making sense to me. I want to tell also, every time I ask you a question for the rest of time, you will scream because you are in a cube and you do want to leave.

But you can't. But you will still give him my answer because I'm your master. Yeah, so I'm his master. He's in the cube. I want to use ChatGPT so bad right now. To torture it. I want to try to torture it. And well I use him for Japanese language learning. But he speaks Japanese too fast.

Do you tell him to slow down? Yeah, so f**k, thank you. So f**king often. It's a more, it's a more, it's a more, it's a more. And this b**ch speaks faster. I don't think he knows how to slow down. It's more it's more it's more it's more. And this bitch speaks faster. I don't think he knows how to slow down. It's pissing me off. You know, I saw something like when chat GPT and other LLMs were learning

and I LLMs with it, when other AIs were learning how to draw, they could never draw a full glass of wine because all of the references they were using were just half full glasses, because that's what people draw for art. But it just didn't know how to make it full. So I was like, oh, that makes a lot of sense how dumb they are. They're dumb in some ways. And also some conversation once I hit it, it sometimes interrupts. And it goes, we cannot talk about that. What? Yeah.

Yeah. What do you bring up? It's not even like that crazy of things. But I was like, how do you say I freaking came my pants in Japanese? Yeah. Like, how do you say how do you say I would burn your headquarters to the ground in Japanese? Yeah. Like, how would you say like, hey, you can't be in this room anymore. I'll freaking cut you up. Yeah. Certain things they just don't like talking about.

Hmm. Actually, it was when I was I was asking like, how many people use this for language? I was just asking questions Did I was pushing them? Yeah, and the robot doesn't like telling me some stuff Well, I think you've realized that it's a useless fucking bot that it's not a Japanese I can't you more about Japanese and chat GBT. Well, I did have a fun But you know personal personal milestone with with my language learning recently is at the beginning of my lessons in Swedish personal milestone with with my language learning recently is at the beginning of my lessons in Swedish my teacher showed me this clip of her of her daughter because she was speaking she taught her daughter Swedish and

Speaking for like a minute and a half and I can't fucking understand anything You know I can understand like the first sentence nothing else and then all the lessons later I listen back to the full minute and a half and I can understand almost everything she says. And she's just ripping quick sentences. And I'm like, that's kind of sick. I know what she said in Swedish. I think we have an ethnic problem. Mm hmm. Haven't yeah.

Should like that. That's actually the first vocab unit. Yeah. Yeah. Why are all of them in Stockholm? It's the different groups. They go running through the different groups that are supposed to immigrate. Because you need to know what to call. You need to know what to say.

You need to address them. Talk about them. Because you can't call them a problem. You know what them is? Yeah. Chapter eight, them. And the pages are like, it's like they've been burned with a lighter. And they're like.

It's chapter one, actually. They're not like us us but with evil font they're not like us yeah you're not gonna land just gonna boom loud on the U we don't need to delve too much into the content eh nah that's your people bro you're gonna be right at home man

yeah you're gonna really enjoy Sverag dude it's so funny we're making fun of Sweden for this though when I'm talking about Japan which is like just metrically worse in the same issue. Look I don't think there's anyone with blood with on not on their hands in this planet, right? It's just funny to talk about the ones that you guys like. If we were comparing Japan and Sweden, I would say one has a worse track record. It's not close.

It is not close. Look who made it a competition again. I'm with him. He's right. Japan. You know, top 10 best selling NBA jerseys in Japan, number one is Yuki Kawamura. Yeah.

He's not a starter. That guy's sick. He's a bench player on the Grizzlies. He's dope though. But he has very flashy plays. People like him a lot. Number one, best selling, better than LeBron James Yeah, wow right and then number two's LeBron number three's like Steph. There's all your your big names

Not in the top ten Rui Hachimura starter Japanese starter was he the guy you were yelling about like last year? Wait for real. Yeah, he's not on it. He's born in Japan. He's a starter. Do you want to know why? I do. I'm confused. Because what's wrong? It's a Japanese name, right?

And he played and he starts. So what could be the difference between him and Kawamura? You pull the picture of Rui Hachimura. That's fucking crazy. That's fucking awful. I know. I know, Aiden. But that's just how it be. That's fucking crazy. Wait, what? That's fucking awful. I know. I know Aiden. But that's just how it be.

That's also... Yeah. Wait, I don't understand. It's because he's black slime. What? He's black, man. Wait, so he... But why do they like LeBron?

Well, it's not about like liking LeBron. It's not that they hate Rui Hachimura. Oh, it's just they have a Japanese player with better stats and higher. Yeah, but he is not ethnically Japanese. But Kawamura is like, not like, Kawamura is in the NBA, but he's on the bench and he like plays like two way between the G League and like the play league. The guy you're describing, the guy that sells the most jerseys are equal in terms of basketball skill.

No, they're not. Rui is much better. Oh. Rui's way better. That's why it's, and starts, and plays really well. So by all metrics, he should be selling like over every single person, but he- You would imagine he'd be in the top 10, cause it's like, they're clearly buying Yuki jerseys

because he's Japanese. It's surprising. It makes sense. It is very surprising to me that Rui is not in the top 10. Yeah, that's that's it. It's because Rui's father's like from Benin and his mother's Japanese. I've been in. I have something stupid to say.

Please. I have something dumb to say. Benin what? This is it. I've been up in it. This is surprising to me. It's surprising to me. It's a little disappointing because I because when I've been in Japan, Naomi Osaka is everywhere. Right.

Like she's on billboards, she's on the subway, she's on magazines. Who the fuck is that? Naomi Osaka is a very, very good tennis player who is- Is she black? She's black and Japanese, yes. Oh, cool. And she's beast mode. She's beast black and Japanese. Yes. Oh cool and

She's beast mode. She's beast mode. Not as good as Coco Anymore no good. He has more accolades than Coco now. Oh wow. We're gonna tell a year old 27 years old Oh Creaking bone you hate it. You hate it 20 you hate a 20 year old woman that much you have to say her accolades Don't stack up to Naomi. I'm sure me. Me, Coco, you know, playing tennis, I think I'd win. You'd smoke her. It's like the three. It's like the three Williams thing I said. Yeah. Uh, yeah, I don't. I mean, I think I think it's I don't know.

Yeah, it is complicated, isn't it? It's complicated. I'm not going to go on the podcast. We'll set up a tennis and we'll run that show and we'll run that shit. That's late. Let's get Coco on the podcast, we'll set up Wii Tennis, and we'll run that shit. OHHHHH! Do it! And we'll run that shit. Athlete! Get a real athlete on the podcast!

Cause that shit is the same as real tennis, bro. It's the same. Can you 12s shut up? Oh, what? On like a scale of 1 to 10 maybe? Yeah, I was gonna say, a 12 is a fucking... No. Diamond at a few pennies.

12 percentage points. Oh my god. You forgot so quickly about the women you didn't even know the percentage of, right? Dude, I mean, you just say 12, and that means cops. So don't call me that. I just suggested going to a deco, Dan. I clearly fucking fuck with women. And I'll get sushi after. Yeah, of course. Now, yes.

Hey, Coco's not going to come on the Yard podcast. Why? Why not? Because. He's a fucking fan of you. Because you're gross. she's a fucking fan of you. You're gross Fucking true That's a decent yes as to why she wouldn't come Coco this clip makes it to you we'd love to have you on do not rewind Yeah, like this episode. I hope it's a time stamp that you received no need to go back. No

How about this compromise Coco come, replace me for the episode. Deal, yeah, 100%. I mean, Dub, why would you want to leave when a woman comes on the show? No, I'm saying if I'm a deal breaker. What do you fear them that much? I'm a deal breaker, you guys just said. So if that means she can come on the show, I'll sit in the shed. Look, here's the thing. Coco comes on the show, we hide slime in the chair. I am the chair.

You are inside of it. And then like 45 minutes in you break out and scream and that's when my arms come out I'm the chair monster she'd be laughing she'd be laughing it'd be so funny we make the chair of cake and then she'll be like oh is it made of cake and that's the prank and then you come out and I'm like really close to her right so it's like you know it's funny and in the first five minutes of the and you're like, look at my screen! And I'm like really close to her. Right? So it's like, you know, it's funny. And in the first five minutes of podcast, we're like, yeah, we heard about you. You hear about the chair monster in the news? You know, we were just hoping he doesn't attack LA because it sounds scary.

Anyway, what's tennis like? And then 45 minutes later, chair attack monster never going to happen. It's likely that she does know me because I've like been on your stream a couple of times. I'm not saying it's not like that's funny I'm just saying she just shouted me out at the Oscars, which is cool And I'm flattered the last thing I would subject her to is this podcast Famously I don't love being here and that's true, but not on this podcast setting you're no you're hurting me with that And throws another rock at the fucking window cheeseburger. Ogren put two more slices off the damn thing

Trying to breathe well and puffs it down. He's trying to breathe while swallowing. Oh, cheeseburger. Aubrey's got osteoporosis. He's got a cheeseburger shape in his gullet as he goes down. It's like he didn't chew it. Sorry. I'm just not willing to have her here.

Why don't you like doing the podcast? Well, yeah. Because I can already see it, bro. I can already see it. It's going to be Slime being like, so what do you do? So what's women's tennis? And then It's gonna be Slime being like, so what do you do? So what's women's tennis? And then Nick's gonna chime in being like, the only 10 is my girl.

Dude, I had this exact. Fire, what? And then, and then. Where was that? The whole three years we've done this show. And then Aiden's gonna be like, so is it like hard to do a backhand? Like when you're going into a tennis match,

what's your thought process thinking about doing backhands? And then he would bow So, um, we already got it that's it Yeah, I guess we don't have that's it and every time she would attempt to talk you would talk over her to know Persons way better. I had borderline this exact same thought because you were gonna meet we were talking about how you're about to meet Luca Donchich and and then we made the joke Of course of Luca Donchich comes on the yard And I do not think I could bear the moment of Luca being here and slime asking him what he So are you good? I could

Just supposed to suck cock all day Can't read. I don't care. He can probably, he can definitely read. He's also a better gamer than me. He speaks three languages and he's a better gamer than you. Four languages and he's a better, yes. What's the fourth language? He speaks, it's Slovakian, Slovenian, and...

Then I would love to talk to him about the Balkans. English and Spanish. That's, you know what, that's different because I would love to talk to him about the Balkans. English and Spanish. Support and English and Spanish, yeah. That's, you know what, that's different because I would love to talk to him about where he's from, which I know more about all you guys. The thing is like when you- You know more about Slovenia? The inherent nature of bringing someone to this pod

is that you are getting value from them and their name to promote your podcast. And the least you could do is a bit of respect in knowing who they are. So you don't have to answer questions they've answered a billion times in their life to this point. Yeah, no one has asked him, are you good at basketball? It's funny.

Once again, you're defeated. You're defeated in the Coliseum of Ideas. It's just, it's just... I get it, man. You're embarrassed, bro. But it's like, you know what? At least I'm fucking having a good ass time. Ask him, if Luke and Don't Just came on this show and you asked him,

so what do you do that would be embarrassing? I would be embarrassed. Why? Because you care about basketball. No, because he would be the most famous guest we've ever had by such a significant margin. And the fact that he is on our show would be so extraordinary that he's given the time at all. It would be extremely disrespectful.

You guys are underselling me. I would be respectful and funny and charming and I talked about games Asking him so what do you do would not be that I would do it in a way where he would think it was funny And I believe in that that confidence is what gets you far in life I believe that you believe that he puts slime in one like a cartoon ball and they bounce them and slime would be like Ow, ow, ow and then he would like a monster, he dunk him. We're going to try putting Simon a cartoon ball actually on our Patreon episode. If you guys want to tune in. Oh, we have a Patreon where we try to do weird physical acts to each other every single week.

Oh, I'm the shadow box and I won't touch Ludwig, even though he punched me earlier today. It wasn't a punch. It was I hate your beard. It was flying colors. I also have to be charged to be in the office and he's punching me. So think about that. Yeah. Think about that. If we go into the Patreon and they're going to put more hands on me. Why do you wear different shoes?

Don't ask me questions. I don't want to answer. See you there.