The Yard - Ep. 196 - We have the STRONGEST fans

Episode Date: April 23, 2025

This week, the boys talk about lemonade tycoon, our mount rushmore, and how we have the strongest fans... Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

🎵 Guys... The Pope died. Oh my god, who cares? J. Schla- J. Schlaer called it. Isn't that fake? It di- Oh, it is fake? He called the day? I thought I called it. Isn't that fake? It is fake.

He called the day. I thought he called this guy. This guy has a news show. You know, he sees a screenshot and he goes, Oh, real news headline. Dude, we should do that with Lemonade Tycoon. We should like create some sort of fake event. Like a really elaborate fake like news article.

Like all this crazy shit. And we like Pete has Hesgeth gets caught with a big fucking pineapple in his ass, with the Houthis. We say like, finasteride now found to shrink the size of your penis eight inches. And then all three of them just blow their heads off the next day.

It was even started. The last episode was 11, eight, six. It's cause Aiden, well he reads that, takes it, and then still blows his head off. Yeah. I asked Schlatt already this morning, I said who's the next big figure, big dog? Who is it? He's been going through them. I think he would go for a Cuomo. He would go for a Cuomo. Well he told me slime. He instantly texted me back and said slime.

I don't like that. Did he give you a date? No, no date. What, this year? He just said slime's next. I die next. Is that because of his age? Is that what he means? You're coming up on a... I'm gonna make him take that back.

I'm gonna message him and tell him, take it back. Take it back. You don't want that juju. I don't want that juju. It's bad juju. We just established that the juju is fake. Well, no, he only called it once with the queen. Well, he didn't call. He's never called it. Take it back.

He just said about 15 dates that the queen should be worried about, and then she eventually died. Take back what you said. I messaged him. Maybe a dumb pope question. Does the pope have a family and a child? No, it is dumb. No sex.

If you're Catholic priest, you can't plow. Do you think that's a lie? Do you think that he beat? Famously, a lot of them lied. Yeah. Is this going to blow your mind not even adults dude boy love Do that Yeah, I think that's bad

Oh you like it. Well now it's wrong. I know it's wrong with it, but what's wrong cops stop boy love Boston cops stop boy love thaturing Mark Ruffalo. Yeah. It wasn't even the cops, it was the goddamn reporters. The true cops of the world. They might have snuffed it out, but who got there at the end was fucking Boston PD. Boston PD, come on. Boston PD, get that child out of your mouth.

Oh man. And that spotlight. Oh, man. And that spotlight. Yeah. That's the whole spotlight. Great fucking movie. You think JD did it, man? JD Vance?

Yeah. He cursed him. I think he had spit in his coffee. He had like fentanyl on his hand or some shit. No, he's just a stinky, dirty, fat guy. And the Pope's 88 year old body couldn't handle JD's fucking like cheeseburger sting. That's what did it, bro. He showed up with a big lollipop and fucking like crack like butthole underwear. Just skidmark grease on his fucking underwear.

And the Pope was like, hey, how's it? It's like a Tom and Jerry when you smell the green stench and like you like all your eyelashes fall off. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe it's the opposite. Maybe you found JD breathtaking. I'm sure he did. He saw JD and he thought I can die now.

JD showed up. I've seen most breathtaking men ever. JD showed up and then he looked like the Pope looked like SpongeBob in standee's house when he doesn't know that he needs water He did the piece of the Pope by the way Sorry that our nasty vice president did you in like that with his fucking dirty pit stains and shit It's good. I fucking hate that guy the Pope. Yeah the Pope Look at that. Oh, okay. Hear me out. He low-key looks good. He looks for his age Hope it reminds me of what's his name like Prince Andrew. He looks like he's 88, you know

Use me is he died of double pneumonia. I didn't know you could have a double. Oh, is it too long? He got the two times out Is that what that is? I would have gone to be. It's not like it's twice as much. That's what I thought. I thought you were doing the pneumonia. You got burger pneumonia, stig pneumonia. Look at that chain on the pope.

OK, that shit goes insane. Yeah, imagine a little Uzi Vert with that shit on. JD pulls out the diamond tester and instantly kills the Pope. Uh, wow. Bro, what happened with Swift, bro? Yeah, did he splatter everywhere, bro? He shits so much.

Yeah, you were like, I'm going to be late Swift shit in the house. And then you were 40 minutes late. How much poop? Think about that. It was a lot of poop. He did that on me once. What was the context of that again? Oh, yeah, when you carried him. Yeah, well, he was like that. He did that on me once. What was the context of that again? Oh yeah, when you carried him. Yeah, well, it was like that. QT woke up at 6am

because Swift walked on her face and it was wet. And she's like, why is it wet? And then you open up the bathroom and it's poop nightmare. Might have been pissed, to be honest. We don't know. There actually isn't much of a difference between that dog's pee and poop. He literally shit pissed and threw up everywhere. What'd he eat? I don't know, we don't know.

We don't know what he ate. He ate something bad. He probably ate a bunch of Red 40. He must've. He must've. He didn't even eat anything. He just heard about the Pope. Yeah.

He was just worried sick. He was worried fucking sick all night. That dog is devout. He said, who's going to take up the mantle now? Pope Francis was so good to us. Maybe Satan resided in Swift and the pope was the only thing keeping him at bay. Or maybe when the pope died, his spirit went in Swift. It was poop for the pope.

And it was for all dogs. And they're all going to start shooting and pooping. Poop for the pope. Suck it till you can't all dogs. And they're all going to start shooting and pooping. Poop for the Pope. Suck it till you can't, motherfucker. For the Pope. This is a reference. No, I just. I would have.

I like it more. Yeah, no, I just like suck it till you can't, motherfucker. No, I don't know. I got the voice is what's throwing me. It is. It kind of came out of nowhere. I was thinking like a cat Williams or something. I don't know. That's throwing me off. It kind of came out of nowhere. I was thinking of a Cat Williams or something. Yeah, I love the motherfucking Pope. You see what I'm saying? Now he's leading into it.

And then me and the Pope put one blood in rotation. What's that? I have a question. Is the Pope still the most famous person alive right now? Now for sure. Now he's peaking. You said that you had a key operative word there. He's not alive. He's dead. Oh, you did say alive. I did.

That's a trick question. Well, the answer is no. The answer is no. So is the Pope the most famous person alive as soon as they pick the new guy? No, because most people have heard of the old guy and the news won't travel till they get that new black Pope. You know what's crazy? This is an interesting follow-up to the old episode. Nobody knows. Bad example, re-opening the argument and then trinkets later. It's like if there's two streamers named Sketch, but one had like two views and one was Sketch.

And I said is Sketch still the famous person? But it's like we know who we're speaking to. Sketch has also died in this scenario. We named Pope Francis and that's understood when you say the Pope. Right. You can't just use your your your syntax argument. Yeah, you can't use your fucking syntax. What? Also, I can't use syntax. You don't even know how to read a book.

At home. I don't know. I do know how to read a book. You make my life a nightmare when I try to read a book. You make my life a nightmare when I try to read a book. Dude, Aidan does this, okay, you know what I'm saying? What do you mean? I don't know, you know what I mean?

I don't know, you're about to describe it as if I do a thing. That's the thing he does, right there. That's what I do. I said Aiden and you started going, I'm gonna barf, I'm gonna barf, I'm gonna barf, I'm gonna barf, I'm gonna barf, I'm gonna barf, I'm gonna barf, I'm gonna barf, I'm gonna barf, I'm gonna barf, I'm gonna barf, I'm gonna barf, I'm gonna barf, I'm gonna barf, I'm gonna barf, I'm gonna barf, I'm gonna barf, I'm gonna barf, I'm gonna barf, I'm gonna barf, I'm gonna barf, I'm gonna barf, I'm gonna barf, I'm gonna barf, I'm gonna barf, I'm gonna barf, I'm gonna barf, I'm gonna barf, I'm gonna barf, I'm gonna barf, I'm gonna barf, I'm gonna barf, I'm gonna barf, I'm gonna barf, I'm gonna barf, I'm gonna barf, I'm gonna barf, I'm gonna barf, I'm gonna barf, I'm gonna barf, I'm gonna barf, I'm gonna barf, I'm gonna barf, I'm gonna barf, I'm gonna barf, I'm gonna barf, I'm gonna barf, I'm gonna barf, I'm gonna barf, I'm gonna barf, I'm gonna barf, I'm gonna barf, I'm gonna barf, I'm gonna barf, I'm gonna barf, I'm gonna barf, I'm gonna barf, I'm gonna barf, I'm gonna barf, I'm gonna barf, I'm gonna bar lot, but we don't know what he's gonna bring up about you We don't it could be Aiden loves I think we all message friends that he hasn't talked to in a while Man, I do love to do that. I think he's gonna say that I love to do that I do do it. So perhaps I'm Chance love to thank you Ludwig for the floor. So Aiden does this performative reading bullshit? To be honest unlucky because I really thought it was gonna be the first one You didn't think that lovely I know you didn't

Face every morning okay And there's like the most beautiful woman you've ever seen and she's just reading a book No, there's guys guys are performing like some fucking handsome piece of shit guy. Girls don't read books to pick up guys. Girls just read books to pick up girls. Oh, and that's what he's doing. Yes, he's trying to fuck someone in the office. I think it's Otto.

Otto's a good pick. Honestly, Dark Horse, underdog, Kelby. Yeah. You know, cause he- Well, here, Kelby. Yeah. Yeah. You know, because he but here will hear. Yeah. That's why I got mad this weekend when when Kelby brought his girlfriend to the office to watch the basketball. Yeah, I was like, I thought this is our time. My shift review, the book was 200 plus pound men.

How to treat them right. So it could be could be anybody. It could be me. He's out of here. So it's been right. And it's Ludwig that that awful picture of Ludwig on the cover. And it's anamorphing into a whale. Yeah, so it was actually funny. The four of us were hanging out outside of the show.

And no one else was around. And also no one planned to meet at some point. It just happened. It's planned to meet it somewhere. It happened. It just happened. It's been a long time coming. As sweet as I find it, Loki doesn't count at the office. That's stupid. It's just an accident that we enjoyed. I think it's fine.

It's because it's like if we were back at the old, old house with the fucking glass doors, we just had to be there, right? True. And it's like we kind of just have to be at the office because that's where the things we want to do are. And we just all showed up. There was literally no one else but the four of us. And to be fair, it's not also like I was doing something else

in the office. I was just hanging. He was just hanging out. Yeah, he's watching basketball. Dude, I went downstairs that same day because the only one low was like, all right, I got to go. And he left. He went downstairs and played Valorant offline.

That's so funny. And I walked in and I was like, are you streaming? He's like, no. And he's like, I couldn't think of anything. And I was like, you're just playing Valorant offline. That's so funny. And I walked in and I was like, are you streaming? He's like, no. And he's like, I couldn't think of anything. And I was like, you're just playing Valorant. He's like, yeah. When I was shitting, that's what you were doing. I thought he was streaming.

No, I was crushing Valo. You were talking on the mic. I was literally popping heads. Were you playing with someone who was streaming? Yeah, I was playing with it was like Ray, Abe, Young, Ryan. So he said, I gotta go and then didn't leave. Well, I said this too. You might have missed it.

I had a phone call with them upstairs. I was talking about it. I thought you were just popping in for funs and giggles. I was going to do one game and then I decided to keep playing because you know what? I fragged out. And I found that that game's easy. Valorant's an easy game. Yeah, compared to your magic. Compared to League of Legends. Valorant. Valorant's an easy game. Yeah. Compared to.

Compared to League of Legends. Right. Oh, real man's game. You should do. It took you years to not hit your goal in Valorant. Wow. And you know what? And it's like I wouldn't go there. Just when I thought I was out, he pulled me back in. You played for years yeah I was still gonna hit it close I technically did it what do you

mean technically hit it not even technically technically yes by definition didn't it it's a technical sense I hit it how's that how's that the goal was diamond and I hit diamond. Did you? Yes. Did you win a game in diamond? No. Oh my God.

And they didn't put it in your Dorito back then. Right. So I'd never, I don't have the proof. Wait, so you, I didn't know that you actually achieved diamond. I didn't even realize you hit it. Oh, I, yes. I have achieved diamond and then lost diamond. You got to diamond one for one game.

I like ranked up to diamond and then lost diamond. But there's no proof and no video. There's no proof and no video. A streamer, a guy who once said, oh, catch me dead playing Valorant offline. Yeah. Has no video proof. I have no video proof because I said slurs. Oh. Yeah, it just dawns on us.

No, I actually, I think I played a lot offline then. I was really into playing offline because I play a lot worse online. Yeah, because you crash out on the members only. Because chat, it can be annoying. Yeah, they tell me. But instead I was just reading Ray's chat. They're not even mean to her, even though she's bad. They don't even know what Valorant is, bro. They know what Valorant is.

They just go in. Your hair looks fucking awesome today. You I don't think you've ever watched a woman stream. What? Name one that you've watched him go. Night Sinclair. Night Sinclair. Who's that? I don't know. She's a streamer who's turned to social media manager. She doesn't stream anymore. Yeah.

What year was this? She quit streaming. She does social media for, uh, forget the video game company. She does a good job. I think the crab game company. She does do a good job. By the way, quit streaming like three years ago. I celebrate women.

Zip, can you bring up what I sent you, by the way? Just get ready. Okay, look, he got off light, he sits in the office and he pretends to read a book because he wants attention. We're all trying to watch awesome basketball. I learned about Tyler. Hero, yeah, Tyler Hero. And he's non-verbal working on Cod. He is. Until Halo was on the screen, then I came right over. He is yeah until halo was on the screen then I came

You did like sniff the pie on the windowsill formal crushing in 2025 I gotta see that before that Nick hadn't said anything for like an hour Yeah, you guys got mad at me without me saying anything and then Nick from across the room said yeah, fuck you That was what broke this I was take any opportunity to pile on it. And it's just it's in my bones. I can't not do it. I have a question. If I can't read a book in the office, where could I possibly read one

that isn't asking for attention? I spend more awake hours in the office than at home. Well, I know who's for us. Can you perform? I just think when we're on a couch together and I'm tickling your feet and reading a book and I'm watching A TV it's like can we not do something together for five minutes or five? Yeah, the difference between time together and quality time together, right? Thank you. Then when you're when you're doing something you want Sometimes I like just coexisting in a room, but other times like clearly I'm looking for some attention

You were looking for attention. I think it was pretty clear. And it just feels like you can't do the things I want to do without making it something you also want to do. Like you can't just do it for me. I can't. And that hurts to think about. I was enjoying my book. I don't want you to tickle my feet while I'm reading. I don't even believe he was enjoying it. No. You were talking to him. Halo and basketball were both on at one point let me know your phone I'm there lemonade tycoon cross fans. I want you to know this man doesn't even already reads cuz I quiz To micro details one of which was in a different language

He I just asked him a couple of questions. Okay on the previous page Yeah, and it and they all gave I'll just throw out a random you took the book We went to the previous page and you quiz them. It's so his books about Will nerd Hayden and kids, right? Of course, who's a gay man who found a wife? Oh my god It's true and had sex with her many times. No way. Yes. It hasn't delve into that part yet Well, you'll get there catch up. That's why you got to read and and then with this this this man Yeah, he was being For actually know erase the man forget everything. I've told you about the man

About Woodrow Wilson Communist Party him, and then a prime minister of South Africa. See, you don't even remember what you read. You are kind of, you're kind of AI generating a dream right now. I am being confused. Woodrow Wilson, the famous communist. I realized as I was saying it, I was like, why the fuck was Woodrow Wilson being talked about? Yeah, yeah, oh interesting. I can tell you, but I won't right now. Because then I'd be bailing you out. I can tell you, but I won't right now.

He quizzed him on a detail and failed to say the detail. I started jumping around like an animal. Yeah, the question is, what's the name of the French magazine that talked about Woodrow Wilson after the war? I'm like, I don't know. It was in French. It was hard to read. You love French and Le Petit Ménage. What? That's where they serve drip was in French. It was hard to read. You love French. And Le Petit Manage. Alright. What? That's where they serve drip coffee in London.

Le Petit Manage. Yeah, he said it good. You can't get it anywhere else. They only give you Americanos. It's bullshit. Bienvenue. Bienvenue Le Petit Manage. Au revoir.

Also, you were wrong. I asked him a French word on the crossword and he gave me the wrong answer. Wait, that's crazy. What makes Japanese is better than his French? Oh, God. I actually believe that. I watched him tip, I'm like, bro is fluent. Dude, if I need tip to tip.

Your French sucks, bro. Dude, would I ask you? You're so dumb. Would I ask you, yo, how do you say this in French? You always go, hmm, and then make a joke. You literally never tell me. Every time. You never fucking know.

You fucking are fluent in French. And then, now that I think about it, any time we've put your French up against another French speaker, they always outperform you. Yes, Poki Moggedy. He mogged you like crazy. First off, she did not mog me. Poki, mog. Etoile, mog.

Okay, he's literally French. Oh, I thought you were literally French. Oh, I thought you were literally French. Yeah, but he's like born and raised. Guys, my French is fluent. If I were, if I did tip to tip France, I would have a man drive me from the north tip to the south tip and suck me off while driving the whole time. That's how fluent I am in that language. And he's saying in France, suck it till you can't motherfucker.

And that voice doesn't exist. And saying it in that voice, what's the French equivalent of that voice? I can do that. I can do that. Suck it till you can't motherfucker. Archie, Archie, I want you to figure out what he actually says and subtitle it. Okay, okay, okay Su-se-te-geet-pa-p-fee-duh-put There's no way. No, that's good. Fee-duh-put is their motherfucker. I know that one.

We don't have motherfucker. It means son of a bitch. I can't believe they don't have motherfucker. It seems like it'd be invented by a French guy. It's more of like a colloquial, I mean, they didn't fuck. Yeah. It's kind of like when you watch a Spanish TV show and they're ripping puta all the time, but then it translates into like four different curse words in English, depending on the context. Yeah, it's a beautiful context sensitive language.

Was the origin of motherfucker, was it that you fucked your own mother or that you were a fucker of other mothers? I think it's the latter, cause back in the day that was like very wrong, but now it's like badass to do Yeah, when did that change? When was it awesome to be a milf hunter? I think it think it was this is a Biblical change. It's probably the fall of the church. I think with the Pope dying it'll go back What depends if we return to the church, but the Catholic Church doesn't have a big grip in America

I would depends if we return to the church, but the Catholic Church doesn't have a big grip in America. Oh, we're a very Protestant community. We are. Yeah, we like them fucking mega church guys with the southern accent. That's because it's our Protestant work ethic. I've been thinking about taking action against Protestants. That's something you should say. What kind of action? Action. You want to stand by that?

Maybe is it violent? I made him a violent action against the Protestants. Is it violent? I made him a cake. You want to take violent action against the Protestants? No, just act. Violent, violent. Alright. We can take, it can be peaceful, it can be violent, who knows? English undertones. I love leaving it up to God.

Whatever the Church of England says. Dude, what was I going to say? It was one last thing about Aidan, but I guess everyone's tired of that. I guess everyone's tired. We were playing basketball with him. Yeah. I thought his ankles messed up. I didn't. I played slow motion. He's playing slow mode. So you throw a truck on him. Oh yeah. My ankle feels great. 34 year old HF, 34 year old HREoc decides now's the time because I can only guard people who, you know, also go slow mo.

Aren't or maybe also in slow mo mode. And the way this has been working is I was guarding stands at first and then Kelby because they both agreed to just play slow paced in a way that wouldn't fuck up my ankle, which I appreciated because I wanted to get out. But then Atrioc, it's his turn to step up to the plate, and he starts going as hard as he can. He's blowing by me for the first time in his life, because I can't keep up, because my ankle literally can't.

The first time is live, dude. Because I literally can't take it. And he does this one move where he like, you know, cross dribbles, goes back the other way, because he has gotten better. He kind of breaks his ankles. And then I he like, you know, cross dribbles, goes back the other way because he has gotten better. He kind of breaks his ankles. And then I'm like, I stumble. Oh, dude.

Are you kidding me? You're trying to go into ankle breaker mode when my ankle is like literally broken? Dude. You got gagged. If I had a video of that, that it would be the best day of my life. Zippor, can you pull up Anthony Edwards, Rui Hachimura, game one? Because whatever we're about to see is basically a shot for shot recreation. This feels like a zipper to spell the whole fucking Anthony Edwards, Rui Hachimura. Game one.

So in this example, audio listeners, a truck is Edwards, young, upstart NBA player. Aiden is famous Japanese basketball player, Rui Hachimura. And this is from game one, the playoffs. You got it? So you lost all your stamina bar? Oh God. And then just look what happens to Rui's number 28, bottom of the screen here. Playing defense against Anthony Edwards I'm the heavy dribbles back. Oh

He fell down the way a baby falls down yeah ankles got snatched and he sat he did sit just on like crisscross apples everyone looks to him and starts clapping so he doesn't know he's hurt Get the dunk. Yeah, that's why that would have been a clip for a year. Yeah, you're OK. You know, get the it is get the dunk. Yeah, that's why I don't. That would have been a clip for a year. Yeah, he didn't finish it. He got blocked, which was huge.

But anyway, this did happen to Aiden on the court by a try and put me on my ass. Are you I mean, you were you stumbled and he did finish a dunk, by the way. I can't jump. There should be like a like a like a brown vibration in the court. Like if you fall, you poop yourself. Yeah, yeah. It's a punishment. When you hit it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's transferred through the bone. It's like bone conducting sound.

You fall and you. What if everyone is attached? They have a fucking a like explosive collars on their neck. And what's the case? If you fall, there's this sensor and your fucking head blows up. Is your team just down a player for the rest of the game? This guy, this is who Adam Silver needs. This is who Adam Silver needs. This could change the game.

The ratings are down. I was about to go out with you guys, it was so fun. Yeah, but the best of all ratings are down. It'd be cool, because like, you know, assuming you can never get more players on your team, and if your player gets exploded, then you just have less players forever. then you get to a point where like the Lakers have like 12 players Yeah, and that's what makes them special or you never feel that roster spot. And so you just end up with like One guy it's like it's like a battle royale and you lose every single season Yeah, until other players he starts to push other players over and it'll clean and then you know who takes over who the wheelchair basketball players That's what Nintendo's working on. Yeah, don't clean any of the gore. And then you know who takes over? Who? The wheelchair basketball players. And that's what Nintendo's working on.

That's why they made the game. Yeah, because it's going to be all wheelchair players. Years in the future. But at the court, I got pissed off and and I realize now it's stupid. No. A couple of children. What? We were playing. Are the kids who ride bikes to the court? No, it's actually this guy we play with and he has a couple of children. What? We were playing? Are they the kids who ride bikes to the court?

No, it's actually this guy we play with and he has a couple of kids and we're playing five on five and then enough people left that it was four on four so he had his kids fill for each team. Aww. But one of his kids was so good. How old are the kids? Nine and ten. Yeah.

But the ten year old's mogging. What do you mean he's so good? The ten year old was mogging the nine year old. He was like... And they're on each other, right? They're playing defense on each other. So we're just like, let them play. Also, it's funny.

You said the 10 year old's mogging the 9 year old. It's actually the other way around. Is it? Yeah. The 9 year old is mogging. That's so embarrassing. It's like the 9 year old's hitting all the rebounds. He's stripping the ball.

He scored like two or three buckets. Yeah. Like like very high. Older kids that grow up to be like an awesome musician. Maybe maybe they love to draw. But in our game, we lost. And if we had I literally thought about this, if we had swapped them, we would have won. That was the difference, because they would have lost

like the four or six points and we would have gained it. To be honest, it was crazy because you have this expectation of, you know, his kids are literally this tall and you're like, well, we'll play with the kids. It'll be fun. And then the kid on our team just crushed. That's he was actually so good. And I kept wanting to after seeing my kids struggle go up. And I kept I kept like thinking I'd swat it.

Yeah. I kept yelling block by James. And then I was like, I shouldn't do. You should have. You should have you should have gotten mean You push his dad over I'm your dad now Fight I might lose that fight Casey bite. Is he bald? Yeah, he's dad. Yeah. Yeah, he's got bald dad strength Wait, is it 2.5? That's if it bring it bring up my my thing I sent you speaking of bald dad strength last week on the podcast. We said

our strongest yard fans Last week on the podcast we said, our strongest Yard fans. Submit photos of yourself to Reddit. So I had Ben make a little presentation of our top 10. I haven't looked at this. Top 10. He might have even messed up the presentation. I don't even know yet.

Both his Yard fans. I'm on the subreddit a lot, so I've looked at probably all of these and I have an internal top 10 and we'll see if it lines up. I've only seen one of the pictures and I was like that guy is enormous. I'm very active in the subreddit and discord but held off this week to be surprised. Yeah exactly. I want to look through if you just click through the first one.

That's a pretty big dude. That's a big guy. Some of these also because when you look at the picture you're like wow that guy looks pretty big. Some of them posted their height and weight this guy is is six, four, I believe, three hundred pounds. Oh, my God. This guy looks like who's the lumberjack guy from myth? Paul Bunyan. Yeah, he looks like Paul Bunyan. Yeah, yeah. He because he's a hero. He's he's hairy all over, but like clearly he has the most like amazing chest hair. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, I'm saying that's what I'm saying

He's like he's very hairy. He's clearly ripped. He's clearly bulking. Also just stays in this beautiful yard It's like Montana or some I want to say I'm looking at his penis right now If this is not this is my number one, this is nine this guy's Giant so this guy probably weighs less than the first guy. Yeah, but he is. This guy's a fucking, this guy's like a lean 220. He's the size that we used to say Ludwig had. Yeah, we did used to say that.

We used to say that all the time. And now we don't. 12% body fat, maybe less. He's got a full leg tattoo. He has a yard logo in the mirror blocking his penis. Tasteful? That is very tasteful. Tasteful block. Yeah, very strong, very ripped. All right. We'll see number eight.

I wonder if this is ranked. Damn. OK, is that's a lot of place. That is a woman's time. Yeah, there's a video. Shut up. I think it's more than I could deadly. We're going to say we got the vid. Wait, wait, wait. Well, this is this is a little sus just because they graphically impose the the logo Okay, people have done that a lot a lot of them are gonna be doing this which I don't like as well

It's probably cuz they want to post like their strongest moment. Yeah, yeah You had it and they didn't I'll just have a yard. She's fucking massive She's dead lifting way more than I ever have no dead lifting a number I can't calculate because all the weights are different. And my brain's not fast enough. You know what, this made me think of the amount of times people say, like, I was listening to the pod in the gym and I almost dropped the fucking bar on me.

Yeah. It actually makes a lot of sense now. We got some real gym pants. I mean, I only listen to podcasts in the gym, so I get you podcast listeners in the gym. Drop it. Drop it on yourself. Yeah, if you're benching right now, you're going to fail this one. Oh, come on. Push.

By the way, I can't fucking have him spot me. It's so goddamn annoying. He'll just say some yesterday was it was not that bad. But when Ludwig is spotting you on bench like, yeah, yeah, you got this. Come on now. Give it to me. Give it to daddy. You know, I always have slime. Slime is a bad planner and he shows up to work out chess,

but he doesn't check to see if anyone's there to spot or ask anyone ahead of time. And so he just comes up and he goes, I need a spot now. And I just got my food. I'm like, can I eat my food? And he goes, fine. Yeah, fine. Eat your food. Fine. That's fine. I guess. Eat your food. I'm in zone one so now doesn't fucking matter I went to the bathroom

I walked or I got the food and I walked upstairs and he said tell Ludwig to come spot me and I was like Okay, I go upstairs Ludwig won't do it you came upstairs The first thing you said was you didn't even tell him did you? And I was like I did he just doesn't want to which is disgusting. I didn't say he didn't want to I asked if there was weight on it and he said there's no weight on the bar and I said well then he's got it let me finish his food and I'll go down thereafter so that's what I do I go down there and Simon's like yeah I want to try to hit this for six and I'm like and he starts rip repping it I'm like he could do more so so all I do is I go, I go, yeah, lift it up.

Big push, big push. You know, he loves and then it's just distracting. And then I can kind of tell how many are left in him. Yeah, it's usually higher than he thinks. He underestimates himself. So I say, all right, two more. And he does it and he does. And the first two sets go great.

And then the third set comes and he's flying. Nick, he's flying. I was not flying. He's flying. He's benching 135 like it's air. And then and then I'm like, yeah, keep pushing three more. And then he starts laughing. It's like three fucking more. Are you kidding me? Three is the most ridiculous thing. It was ridiculous. That's a normal thing for a spotter to do.

Three more. I could fucking easily curl the three times if you needed. So just go for the three, even if you're doing less weight. Oh, because you'll be there to help me. Yes, that's the whole point. If I... I don't trust him, I think. See, that's the thing though.

So don't ask me to spot, because either I'm spotting to make you do things you could never do without me. I thought you're more than just there to stop the weight from crushing my neck. No, who gives a fuck about that? Oh. That shit doesn't no my next fuck about that. Oh That shit doesn't matter the rack does that yeah rack does yeah worst case you fucking fail And then you roll it down your body and you have a couple bruises. Yeah, but whatever it's fine Hey, you get a spot at the rack up to just it just falls on You have to set it up on the inside But then because you do that it's like if. You have to set it up on the inside. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then pull it out.

But then because you do that, it's like if you want to take it all the way down to your chest and it hits the bar before you get it to your chest. So anyway, yes, you should stop A, limiting yourself to a lower number when you have a spotter because that's the whole point. As you have a goal plus two usually. Oh! So you hit your goal then you do two more. He wasn't around to tell me this shit.

I was and you laugh. I'm learning now. All right, number seven please. Dude. That now. I'm learning now. All right. Number seven, please. Dude, that guy is my god. This guy is a sleeper build. I was like the word that came to head was sleeper. Yeah. If he had like a sweatshirt on, you would just think that like, oh, what a tall guy.

You would think what a tall guy. Maybe from Wisconsin. Also, the longer you look at him, the stronger he becomes. He also first popped up. I was like, really? And then I stared longer and I was like, wait, holy fuck, he's big. I also never think he'd listen to his podcast. No, no, he's got the looks like he built.

Where's the logo happens? Yeah, yeah. He 100% looks like he builds a little bird. I don't know about this one. He just he just shot. He just threw it up. This guy just saw the thread and posted the episode. You also have the dude quarter turn. It's very important to make your your abdominals look really good.

Yeah. Yeah. He's got some CGs. Yeah, he does have CGs. It's the yard's close off, pose off. But yeah, he looks like a Mennonite. He looks like he rode a horse to this bitch. Yeah. And he's going to go turn the other guy from Kirby. Like he looks like he does the exercise where you get like the sword and you go like that. Oh, yeah

Yeah, fob training with the 40 pound dragon slayer. Yeah, exactly. Yeah Okay. Oh my god. Look at this guy Dude, holy guys are fucking nuts. Yeah, we got a work on your picture taking. You always pick a very odd mirror. Yeah, you do pick weird mirrors from eight miles away. What are you scared of? Your fucking legs are massive. I'm looking at the middle one. His tricep looks like it has a tumor removed from it.

The cut is so deep. It's like one of those rocks you can see Thomas Jefferson's face in. Yeah, the New Hampshireites would fucking pray to that. All right. It also looks like it's in a subway bathroom. Is there a video? What is this? 765? Yeah, I saw this one. This is fucked up. 765 is crazy, dude.

765 pound deadlift. I'm trying to beat my wife's strength yard again, post and likes. Wait, his wife is all... I'm assuming his other powerlifter? I'm assuming his wife was the woman from earlier. Dude, that's kinda fucked up, bro. 765? You can't let her have one space where she can mog? Damn!

Now we're doing 765, that's crazy. Jesus, dude. Damn. And he said let's go before we even put it down. Let's go. That is so much weight to deadlift. I wonder how much calories a day you gotta eat You know many you gotta get big. You gotta Michael Phelps shit. I didn't like shit Loki No, man

You're covering that Loki. I could do that shit. No the deadlift. No, yeah. No sure. Yeah to go next go next to do both That's a lot of plates. 617 pounds. Yeah we gotta see this video. What a funny amount. Wow a lot of. I was saying kilos. That's why.

Whoa his arms dude. Holy shit. What's crazier about this is he has no assisting gear. Dude I love deadlifts man. He's got a belt? Uh true actually he does have a belt. But he didn't have the uh. Feels good about it.

Just another day at the office man. Just a cash 617 for the boys. Oh there's more! And the 350 pound bench press! That's beast. Uh, what's, what's... Wait, holy fuck. And the 530 pound squat.

I love when you squat big and you have to have a team behind you. Yeah. You have like a team of cheerleaders lifting that up. There's some big yardage. Damn! And the Dorito pick. Okay! Damn! I love when you squat big and you have to have a team behind you. Yeah, you have like a team of cheerleaders lifting that up. There's some big yargans. And the Dorito pick.

Okay! Damn! And he's bald. Oh my god! Had some CG. And he's fucking bald, bitch. Yeah, he's ripped as fuck. Those are the best abs of the day.

Yeah, yeah, abs of the day. And his three lift is like 1,600, 1,500 pounds. We gotta get a, what's his, is it Tony? Tony who's the PM player? The PM player? The PM player. Oh yeah, the one with the Dead or the Dead of the Four record? Is that what he hears?

World record, drug tested. Drug tested world record. PM player. Wait, different guy? Okay, this guy is. This is just a nice big picture of a big man. This is a picture of a big, those abs are so big. Wonderful breasts, madam.

And his madam breasts are so delicious looking. Mass of your breasts. All right, give me next. This is a fake. Okay, this is just- breasts, madam. And his madam breasts are so delicious looking. Give me next. Okay. This is, you know, it's funny any normal day. It's like, yeah, this guy's ripped. Yeah. But after all, I've been so exposed to the strongest. I'm snoozing. Yeah. This is the ideal physique. Those are giant arms. I'm trying to get like that snooze.

Imagine if I put myself in this. I might want to fight versus all the other guys. Yeah, this is this is the fight. He's he's Brad Pitt Fight Club Yeah, that is the ideal male ball it buddy CG farming farming CG's Okay, this one I I don't think is them but it just said average yard fan. This is someone with severe back steroid acne Yeah, I I don't think That comes from yeah. Wait, why?

Why does it happen in your back? Oh, I mean, it's not isolated to your back. It can happen in multiple areas. Body acne. It happens when you get on the juice. He's got a big back, though. He does have a big fucking back. Looks like he is such a good rock climber.

Someone say it's worth the trip. Yeah, I mean, your balls get tiny. You're looking gigantic. That's after a pump for sure, literally. Why is he on the balance thing? Yeah, I don't know. Oh, he's taking the photo. I was like, how is he taking the photo?

But the phone is in his pants. Oh my god. OK, he's got probably the most technical photo of the day. Yes, this is challenging. This is a challenging photo. Those biceps are fucked up. You got to work on your posing, though. This is very, you look like you're cold or you're clenching your nipples challenging photo those biceps are fucked up you gotta work on your posing though this is very- you look like you're cold

or you're clenching your nipples but the biceps look big like Popeye that's what he was trying to do he was trying to show us his grapefruit the legs though the legs fellas we can't tell I feel like they need work

they leave something to be desired we don't know hey we don't know until he pops his butt we desire more from your legs uh probably a video I assume one leg wait one leg you're one legging leg wait no look at this shit this is fucked

up this guy's like one leg squatting so like one leg leading in front of the other like what seems to be 300 pounds that seems like unsafe those are 45 and that's four plates four times nine what's four times nine yeah is that right we just don't need to be doing all this, you know. Yeah, you're doing too much, man.

Yeah, this guy's looking for five single legs. That's fucking that's I wonder if they're filled with helium. The weights. I don't believe it. It's the way look at the way he's shaken. Yeah, look at his butt at the bottom of the lift. OK, OK. But come his butt at the bottom of the lift. Okay, look at his butt at the bottom of the lift. Boom! Pops out.

Pop out at your party. I'm with the gang. Those just seem dangerous. Everything's dangerous. I mean, I don't think he gets to do four or five without having done every weight between that and like ten. Sure. You know what I mean?

So he's probably hella good at them. But... Is that it? Are there more? I feel like it. I'm what I mean? So he's probably hella good at them. But is that it? Are there more? I feel like it. I'm just kidding. Absolutely. That's the last one. OK. Well, thanks, guys. We have to give one person the winner. I feel like it's a really quickly go back. I would give it to 1500 pound overall lift guy.

Yeah, that guy or that guy. Where are we going? Are we going by physique or? I mean, most of them? I feel like I'm the guy who posted all his lifts. Yeah, I agree. Yeah. It was comprehensive. Well, round it. And he looked great in the picks. And he's bald. Damn. Which I think is valuable, important.

It shows that people with a disability can really make it in this world. I love entering all the bald people in the Special Olympics. He's been bald since he was 18. And he's coming up on first. He's just beating some poor fucking actually disabled people. And they're like, yeah, I know. Loves the rules.

It's the ringer and he just wears a wig. I do love all our strong yard again. Yeah, shout out. If you're not a strong yard again, let that maybe be a little bit. Maybe next week's for you throw back next week. Who got that? If you're the weakest yard again, post your lack thereof game. Someone did this.

It was someone it was she was like barely hitting the bar. She was benching the bar. Yeah. And she was like it was I think she's the weakest yard. That is in a child. Can Aiman outlift you and then you post your stats and then Aiden goes through and he goes, yeah, I can do that. Maybe this means we have to go back to the gym. Are you you're fresh out.

I'm back. Yeah, we are back. Oh, I'm back. You're we are back. I'm back. You're not back. If I go down right now, I can bench two or five for six. That's so much lower than it's not bad. Good enough is the word of the day. I'm happy with it. It's higher than me.

Relatively happy with it. So I was I was working out down there and Aiden comes down for some dumb bullshit. And he's like he starts walking down. I'm like, all right, who wants to get nutted in? And then Aiden's like, dude, don't, you can't say that. And I'm like, no, yes. And he didn't answer me. And he's like laughing. He's like, I'm going to go take a shower. I was like, Oh, you want to do it in there? And so, and he said no. And I'm like, that's gross.

Then I showed up and he goes, now angry off of that interaction, but I don't have that context. He goes to me and goes, do you want to get nutted in? Which I was like, he does. I was like, crass. Yeah, he was like, did you hear him swatting? Did you hear me from the bathroom? And he yells in the bathroom, like, don't let him talk to you that way. Don't let him nut in you, dude.

And then, but you know what he said? He came out of the bathroom and he was like oh so you just tell anyone and he's like it doesn't make it less special i thought the offer meant something it makes it less special but you said no no but you just hand it to the next floozy i do not understand women god damn it dude i don't understand women either. I've been trying to fucking see Tarek's penis all day and week and he's blowing up. Yeah, yeah, you've been talking about this. I know! What do you think he's so worried about? He's Turkish, bro. He knows what a bathhouse is. We did the Red Bull 5K, which was hilarious because half the people who came have never run. They just got into running.

What was the roster? Did everyone finish? It was everyone finished. Yeah, it was me, Tarek, Leslie, Abe, Brodin and a couple of other people who I'm forgetting. God bless their souls. Elam. And and like Brodin doesn't run. Yeah. But I have like I have the watch

because I've been running a lot. You have to watch the clue. You run. Please. Well, Zoe, yeah, y'all. And I go up and I'm bringing up zones. They don't know what the fuck I'm talking about. Pussies. And so Brodin's in the front of this pack because it's a Red Bull five case with a bunch of Red Bull employees. And he's at the front of his pack. So I fucking sprint to catch up with him.

And he's at eight minute pace. He looks I fucking sprint to catch up with him and he's at eight minute pace He looks like he ran track in high school. He does so I was like, oh, I was like, what's your routine? He's like what? Was like like how often you run he's like, oh, I don't run And I go, okay, what's your workout? He's like I do it a few times a year, but he's on eight minute pace He's on eight minute pace just crushing it his stride stride. And his stride is a little busted. His stride is two for wanting me. Like it's genuinely mauging me. He's got big legs. He's got six, three. He's like a gazelle.

Yes. And so we're running. We get about halfway. We hit this park and he's kept this eight minute pace. Like he did run an eight thirty mile. And then and then I'm like, damn, this is this is great. Like I'm going to PB my 5K, just sticking with him. And then he's like, okay, I'm going to stop. I'm going to throw up. Oh.

I was like, what? Yeah, you get a little yuke out and you keep going. But it's crazy because he was talking fine. And then like the wall hit him. That's so funny. He just pushed it as hard as he could. He just pushed it. Yeah, there was no pacing.

That's badass. I think that's what happens to a lot of runners. You don't know how to pace yourself. I don't even know if I could do a 5K right now. You could push it. Yeah, there was no pace. That's badass. I think that's what happens to a lot of runners. You don't know how to pace yourself. I don't even know if I could do a 5K right now. You could do it. The question is, I'm saying if there was a minimum time, like, you know what I mean? Like I could obviously do it and finish. I think the I think a rough goal.

I couldn't do a 5K without walking or going to a slow jog at a certain point. I think a good goal for a 5K for someone your age is like 30 minutes. That's one year. Well, that could be different for you. Oh, let's go. I am more in shape. I'm not the butt of the joke. Oh my God.

How many miles is 5k? I would say it's 3.1. I would say like 27 to 28 is like a, oh, that's not a bad time. Minutes? Yeah, you have like a 9 minute pace or like a nine minute 15 30 seconds That's why I think sub 30 is that yeah sub 30 you have to have a nine minute mile at least Oh, it's over three miles. Yeah, it's over. Okay. Okay, so sub 30. I mean 27 be great, too I the only reason I

Shit it was a little dumbass haircut is a little longer than a 5k, but I was good at 830 pace, right? Yeah, I did like 28 minutes. I was trying to make my farts not smell like slimes because it has the special power right I poop my pants Step to the plane vulnerable I poop my pants now my underwear is dirty, so I don't have any other underwear Do not need a recommendation of where I can get some I'm not wearing underwear You can have what are you wearing you have mud a recommendation of where I can get some. I'm not wearing underwear I haven't been for a week. You can have, you can have mine. What are those? I'm wearing some me undies with llamas. With llamas on them right now.

What is it, llamas? Yeah, those are cute. They're not for you. Those are cute. Only for my friend who shit his pants in a public place. Those must have the sophisticated brief technology that will make you look huge. Get up and take over.

Look, here. That shit looks massive. I think it's working. That shit looks huge. Get up and take over. It looks huge. Oh, I think it looks massive. I think it's working. That shit looks giant. Look at the little bears on there. It's the micromodal sling. Yeah, it has the micromodal sling. I can see your ass is jiggling.

You're actually really good in the end. It's sophisticated brief technology, and let me tell you, it does look separated and lifted. So llamas, you were able to choose that. There was a lot of other options. Did they force the llama on you? No, they don't force the llamas on you. Do llamas force you were able to choose that. There was a lot of other options. Did they force the llama on you? No, they don't force the llamas on you.

Do llamas force themselves on people? Not in meandis. They're forcing themselves on another person. Is that a thing that happens? I've never met one. Not in meandis llamas. Thank god. Sounds like there's a problem free philosophy as well.

So if you don't like the llamas, the ones you got on your me undies are angry. You just send it on back. It's on them. It's on me undies and it's called me undies.com. Me undies.com. Yeah. You go to me undies.com slash zipper use code zipper for free shipping on order $75 or more plus 20% off.

Yeah. I said me undies.com slash zipper. Listen to me. And if you're like me and you have skid marks and basically every pair of underwear you own and his jeans And I got I got skid marks on my jeans to all this version Me on these dot-com slash zipper and get a discount me undies comfort from the inside in You can come for a little little a man's record dude. What's Amon's record? 1850. What? Shit. Yeah. Wait You're nasty. What? You're fucking nasty. And I was getting washed

1850? So you just ran six minute miles back to back to back? Yeah, but there was kids in my, dude, there was kids in my state running 15 minute 5ks in high school That's fucked. So there's sub five minute pace? Yeah, there were sub Some people were sub 5 the entire time. There's a few kids in our district who were running 5K times that started with 14 minutes. I ran a mile this week and I did a 6 minute 42nd miles. I think that's great. What's the test called where you'd run two miles?

The pacer test? Is that what it's called? The grand pacer test? Yeah. When I was on a soccer team in a kid I did that test in like it was like 12 and a half or like 12 45 or something yeah when you completed yours as a kid we mean ours was like a knockout knockout the gram piece isn't supposed to end oh our ours was just like at a soccer practice and it was

like run two miles under this amount of time I think the max amount of time was like 13 or so that's a different thing it's okay okay I don't remember what's called but now dude no I couldn even get fucking close to that. Yeah. It would take me like over two years of training, I think. No, no, no. You actually get it back quick. It's like a six and a half minute pace. He said you get it back. Oh, the two mile. No, I think you do it because I. In under a year. Yeah.

My mile right now, if I had to guess my mile time and that's one, right? If I do multiple gets worse and worse probably like 915 yeah, no probably you're faster than that. I'm faster, but not you just get so gassed Oh, yes, so good if you but in a month it would go down a short distance in a month It'd go down to like 750. Yeah, I think that would Drop it heavy if you run consistent for a pretty like a few Used to run the yard Fastest yard again contest we want to see how fast you are. We have like a collegiate athlete I would love it. Yeah, I would love to see how fast you guys are. We saw strong now. We want to let's broaden this

Show off your fucking world record your mode. Yeah, whatever you have the best yard olympic the yard Just whoa Doesn't necessarily have to be physical like I would love to see if someone can do a Rubik's Cube in under five seconds sure The yard talent show the closest you are to a world record in a category. Oh dude read it thread begin the reddit thread Auto auto came up because he started playing neon White and it's like a shooting game with like times in it and it tells you all your Steam friends' times right near it which is kind of nice because you can message them and they haven't played the game in two years. You're like a beat your time pussy.

Mod you loser. Yeah and Otto is just go... I had grinded that game so I have like all the highest times on his friends list. That's a great game. Yeah it's great. And he's like messaging me. He's like, get it coming after your time coming after him. Like he's like, beat this one, beat this one. Like, oh, we haven't talked in like a month.

Like, but I said, I was like, my clock tower time is fucked up because that's the one I grinded the most. I was like, if you can beat that, then you've done it. And he's like, how do you message me with like destroyed my time like by a second, which is a lot. And he's like, yeah, this one took me like a day. He's like, your time is very good. And I'm like, you know, fuck yourself.

So he destroyed me. I didn't even know he's good at shooters. Can't rent a car yet. Dude, it's not like a legit shooter, right? Like it's a PV. You still need to have a aim. Sure. I watched Alphad speed on it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Alpharad has apparently a hidden account because people wanted to mock him so bad. So I actually have on my desktop. It's one of my old times. It just says, fuck Alpharad for a clock tower. And I was like, yeah, I'm the problem. Like, yeah, you feel what he is now. Like you're mad at Otto.

He was you once upon a time. You were him. Except it was randos I had an awesome idea and I want I want you two involved and you're welcome to come too. Okay But I feel like you have interest. Okay, I want to join a rec soccer league and I want I want to make the yard FC And we have jerseys we come over prepared We have righters ease. Yeah, it's awesome. We're on a team and we fill a whole team Maybe we sneak a couple of my friends were good at soccer on the team and we were a little busted But we invite yard fans to all our games to cheer and yell at the other team who won't have any fans

It's a rec soccer league and we overwhelm the league with this fan energy and we go like oh for 12 We are like we are like the loudest on most year like like the richest Yeah, it's like global gym if they suck and we bring up our own ball We have like a water we dump Gatorade ourselves after the games even if we lose We get it we get to fly like a fan out who's really good at soccer one week You know, you're a fan who's on a really good team, oh, just play. You can just play on our team, for sure.

Dude, I- This is the best idea ever, right? I'll do this. I like the idea of me getting involved in another team in the league and secretly shadow managing them. Ha ha ha. This is just the plot of Ted Lasso. Is it?

Kind of. Yeah, a little bit. Yeah, a little bit. Wait, what he's saying? Yeah, yeah, because now he's the villain. But that show teaches us that it's okay to have panic attacks. It's all not bad. It's all not bad. Like, puss in boots. That's all I know is that people who are annoying like Ted Lasso,

and that it has that message. That is my entire understanding of the show. God, season two is horrible. It is really, but. Season one rules, though. So it's the severance of the guy, of the show. God, season two is horrible. It is really, but. So bad. Season one rules though. So it's the severance of the guy shows. No, it's like the Dexter. If Dexter was season one and season five. Five was fine, six was bad.

But then there's another season after that, that that's okay. It's like season one, if it had lasted, it's like, oh, this was a cool idea. Like, I like the set up, an American guy, a fish out of water. And it's like SpongeBob, if like after season one, they were like, people really like when he says, an American guy, a fish out of water. And it's like SpongeBob, after season one, they were like, people really like when he says, I'm ready.

What if all of season two is just him saying, I'm ready? And there's no other episodes. Yeah, there are characters. I'm ready, I'm ready, it's eight episodes, and that's the whole season. And you know what, some people do fucking love that. And they're like, oh, he did the thing! He compared a butter to being a soccer team,

and how it's similar. You did do that. This is premium TV. This and that Paul Logan Paul live show. That's on Max. What is that? It's a reality show. It's all pre promo.

Honestly, yes. Brought to you by American Paul. American Paul. Is that what it's called? Yeah, he's got like a reality. It's like the Kardashians for the Paul's yeah It's on HBO. That's cool. Why do you have that kind of money bitch that kind of money to do an HBO show? Yeah, we never do it. I lost all you just do tip to tip and I lost it all on in fucking Japan doing tip to tip

Damnit. I know oh I'm gonna spin it up in Vegas. Do you guys are down for the yard FC? Yeah, I'm down to spin it up in Vegas. You guys are down for the Yard FC? Yeah, I'm down for the Yard FC 100%. I'll play in the Yard FC. I'll set it all up. You have what looks like a piece of pepper in your teeth. And I just noticed it. Yeah, I ate a salt and pepper bagel.

Dude, those ones are rude. It's the one facing me on the top. Okay, bye. And I should have told him earlier. Archie, make sure that gets out in the episode. I can't get it. I'll get it after. Make sure it's not in the episode at all, or you're fired, Archie. Thank you, Archie.

He blew out just his tooth. Whole time. I can't eat everything bagels. Everything gets in my teeth. Dude, I'm a everything bagel here. I'm with you. I'm a hater, excuse me. And it's all what's going on there.

The poppy seeds are never leaving. You did eat a smooth bagel earlier. Dude, did we both get stand? Time to stand. That's crazy. So did I. Time to eight. Fellas. Why is it the same? You did eat a smooth bagel earlier that dude do we both get stand time to stand? Is it my time Got the fuck you don't fucking get what we have to go stop fucking carry the podcast for okay

Hello, my baby. Hello my darling. Hello my sunshine gal or whatever Caroline food what did I say before the podcast some oh you said Someone said you need a home replacement You need a different home service. No, no, no, no. Phone provider, right? Yes. Yeah, you said, I think you said I need a new phone provider. I said, I need a new dome provider.

And then I laughed myself. You did. You never do that. And you were flurrying. And then I said, I thought about my girlfriend hearing me say that, like in the order saying I want to break up and also you're a dome provider Like I was so funny to me I just had a premonition. We're all standing. What if this show instead we do an episode

It's like, you know a pod about list will change their whole set Yeah, we change our entire set to an office and we're all standing doing the podcast at a water the first standing podcast there's a thousand I'm sure no name for the look up the standing podcast he's doing the Nick Kingling I think we'll find one I do think we'll find one can you look up the standing podcast please what if they're sitting ah look at this it's. Oh, this is called that doesn't mean they're curious sitting this Sitting sitting enhance they are sitting as well. No the standing eight podcasts either standing Can you look out in YouTube maybe or is some reels? We want to see motion of these guys

No, there's never been a standing- Look how hard it is to find. Maybe we can make it happen. The first standing podcast. Maybe we can make this fucking gimmick reality. Yeah, but we're all dressed in office clothes and we're at a water cooler. And it's bullshit! You don't even drink fucking lemonade! Dude, on God. No hat, bro. You don't drink lemonade and you're just like-

Get rid of the political talk. Just drink the lemonade, please. I'm gonna help you out in a year two it's that when it's a million views per, you're going to you're going to get together with a beverage company and you're going to make a lemonade. And that's going to become bigger than your show. And then who wants to manage it? Who do I pick? Which one of you?

Yes, I will manage it. Any one of you who wants to manage it. I manage the show. I manage lemonade. I'm not interested. He seems pretty good. He seems pretty cute. He seems so Aiden. Aiden's hard.

That'd be sick. Mike probably laughed at that to this day. Mike's hard. I didn't till this moment. That's sick. You got Mike's hard lemonade, you got Dave's killer bread, and you got Aiden's lemonade that makes you ball. Aiden's yeade that makes you bald.

Aiden's Yeasty Lemonade. Makes it from your pussy. So Zipper said, actually can't find a pod with hosts standing. Alright, no, it doesn't exist, I'm wrong. Can I just say, I've never noticed that Zipper has a text document called Zip. Really? That he uses for messages, I'm assuming the thumbs up. And you know what, keeps it open all the time. That's right. And you know what? Keeps it open all the time. Mm-hmm.

That's right. Perm open. Never noticed that. Oh yeah, Terrence Penis. So after the 5K, I was telling him about Wee Spa and all its magical glory. Because this is the day after we went. First time I went to Wee Spa.

And you loved it. Yeah, it was fucking Dixon balls galore. I was making the sauna crack up. He was a bit, did I tell you what he said in the sauna? All the old guys loving it? Yeah, he was, well, he was fucking Dix and Balls Galore. I was making the sawdough crack up. He was a bit- did I tell you what he said in the sawdough? Oh, the old guys loving it? Yeah, he was- well, he was- he didn't- I guess we didn't teach him etiquette. No. So-

You guys took slime out in public and didn't teach him etiquette? I'm like kinda walking- What the fuck is wrong with you? Well, I walk into the entrance, you're supposed to take your shoes off. You got a baby leash to sky. And so I'm like- I have a harness on me. A monkey thing. I'm naked. He got a baby leash this guy. And so I'm like, I'm like, I have a harness on me. He made a couple of mistakes.

First thing he did is he tried to walk into the changing place with shoes. I said, take your shoes off. Oh, and then he gets in and then and I said, imagine. And then you go straight to butt naked. And he like tried to keep clothes on. I was like, take it off. He's like, I keep my shorts. I was like, no, no, you don't.

I didn't know it was naked time. It was naked time off-ramp. I didn't want to at all. I didn't want to pop. He knew it was naked time, but he thought you waited for naked time. It was a surprise. Like right before you go in the water. I think safely, I don't want to like pop naked time when it's not.

I think this is fair. This is fair. The first time I went, I also felt the same way. I have a theory. It's because most of the locker room is Past the is like on the other side of the entrance it can be quite far walk by kind of an open space to the lobby nude He's walking the halls of Lumen butt naked.

He's sweaty and shit. Looking for Helly's clunge. Looking for her sniz. Helly, Helly, our sniz. And so then I'm like, get naked, now you shower, and he showers. And then we start hopping in the tubs and it's all fine. But what I didn't tell him is that in the sauna specifically, people really talk. It's not talky time. And you're making cracking jokes.

I didn't start it. Well, I didn't. So we hop in and I'm in the sauna first because I go cold bath to sauna. It's my strat. It's a tried and true strat. And you're supposed to bring in a towel, put the towel out so you can sit on the towel Instead of the hot wood. Mm-hmm. Some comes in straight from a hot bath Mmm, I got a couple minutes after me back off sits his ass straight on the wood I didn't like that either cuz I it's like hot. It's like the wood has absorbed some heat It's a bit yucky too because previous butts are there but balls and penis

So it's like it common to not sit on the towel? No, I didn't know. And I lost my towel. And how do you use it? I don't. It's a mean question. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. And it's SportsCenter top 10. And we're making quiet conversation, just quiet conversation.

And I'm I'm I'm following the rules, which is really you don't talk a lot in this room. There's a TV and like, like, for example, there's one guy. What's on the telly? It's the sports center. Sports center, top side. Oh, sorry, I said that, yeah. And so there's a guy in the front who's like, he's like reacting to the clips. So like a clip will come up and be like, oh, yeah.

He would be kind of loud. Like there'd be like a baseball player catches a pop fly and be like, damn. That's it. And that was that's fine to do in the sauna. But slime starts adding fucking commentary to it, which is like he sees a hockey clip, then he goes, I can do that. I can do that. That's easy to do the sauna, but slime starts adding fucking commentary to it Which is like he sees a hockey clip then he goes I can do that Every clip he's always got something to say yeah, you know it's like a Japanese It's like a baseball clip, and he's like but the Japanese would do it better. It's right Japanese mug there was a Japanese or it's like a baseball clip and he's like, but the Japanese would do it better. That's right. They maug us.

Japanese maug. There was a dog food ad and you guys keep going back and forth about whether or not Swift deserves the fancy dog food or not. And you guys, you guys are having a loud conversation about it. And I'm fucking, I'm starting to laugh. Like I'm, I'm covering my mouth cause I'm dying laughing on the other side of the sauna and the guy next to me is laughing. I'm fucking we're killing bro.

We're crushing the song. That's the thing is he gets away with all of it if he's killing. Yeah, if he's crushing then it's like done deal. He's breaking etiquette, but he's crushing so it's fine. But like there's a universe. You're talking so much bullshit because we were in the fucking in the tub before the sauna and me, you and Aiden get in there, dicks out, wet, and we sit down and then me and Ludwig automatically,

for some reason, without any sort of communication, immediately inhabit the characters of two guys who day trade. And we are just meeting Aiden for the first time. So we're just loudly telling Aiden what it's like to be a day trader. This is instant. Loudly telling him what it's like to be a day trader. And how sometimes you just lose. A lot of people think you should dump into gold right now. Wrong. Heavy metals, bro.

Heavy metals. It's the other metals that aren't gold that are big right now. And you got to think about that because what are we going to need? I got a platinum company. Everybody is looking at us. That's the arm goal that we're big right now. And you gotta think about that, because what are we gonna need? I got a platinum company. Everybody is looking at us. I'm sitting there, just like, looking at us for advice. Yeah, yeah.

And I'm like, what's your name by the way? To Aiden, who we came in with, and clearly know. Sona, I'm gonna make you a millionaire. So, I know, I get all this bullshit, but Ludwig wanted to run the day trader bit, I would say more than I did. You're enabling him This is a public bath area, which is different the sauna

The sauna is different because it's on a closed space. Yeah, it's much quieter because the the bath area It's loud because there's water and water you can have a conversation The sauna is a quieter thing But you know what if they didn't want you to fucking chat about sports, then turn off the TV. That is a conversation starter. Real, real. Well, look, either way, you had a great time. That was great. And then I was trying to get Tarek to go because we did a 5K. I was like, well, it hits after a 5K, but oh, we spa.

And he's like, he's like, no, it's like dick out. No, I don't know about all that, bro. He's like, I can't even smile right now. I can't always show my penis. That's what I said. I said, am I crazy? I said, what? It's penis, no.

It's meat. It's meat? You bring out a cock and ball? No? No, no, it's sexual. Having meat out, it's penis, no? For meat in sauna? Is it a girl like boy club or?

And so I bring this up, I say Turkish bathhouse. He goes, Oh, I've never run that. So I don't. And then and then his roots eventually. Like we leave with this idea that maybe we'll do. I hit him up the next day. I'm like, we spot he says, I'm not ready. Like, I need to warm up to it. Do you want to come over to my place and go to the hot tub?

And I'm like and I'm like no, it's penis out or I'm not interested I'm not trying to fucking warm up into the Wii spa by getting in the hot You should invite Terrick over to your house for a normal for a normal spa. I think the problem with your naked. And you blindside him. Yeah. With no consent. You just. And then I invite a bunch of like different Korean men who are all butt ass naked.

Like Craigslist Korean. Yeah. So really, really ease him into that. Yeah. And then I say, come $30, one hour, come butt naked to my house. I feel like, dude, when Cutie comes home, she's like, what the fuck is going on? One of them's looking in the fridge, butt naked. That's kind of what happened that one night at the pool at your place.

That's what happened that one night. With the goat, with Mango. Mango's just rooting around in your fridge, dicking balls out. He was dicking balls out. He was dicking balls out. Mango DM'd me for the first time in like seven months and just put in an asterisk, whispers and then put, we should get tattooed. He wants to go again. He loves getting inked. I wish he'd just got tattooed.

Which means that this will happen two years from now. Yeah, exactly. Dude, Schlatt message me back by the way. What'd he say? I said, take it back. Take back what you said. He said, don't worry I was lying to Aiden. It's actually him. Yeah a classic pin you against each other

It was you the whole time that guy needs to send me his fucking w9 So so Tarek is not gonna come no, it's cuz it's cuz of the way you invite people you did this recently Yeah, recently with Ben It's because of the way you invite people. You did this recently with Ben. You go heavy. You sell it as if it's mostly about cock and ball. You're like, we're going to look at each other's penises. Very non-beginner friendly.

And we're going to enjoy it. And that's what you lead with. You don't talk about anything that's appealing about the spa other than the fact that you'll see your friend's penis, which isn't really the sell. No, but I do think here's my thing. Here's my thinking is because we spot I think rules. I think we all think this.

But if I sell the expectation that it's just penis seeing, then you go in like. And then you leave going, well, actually, is way better. Way more. You should have told me about more than you should. Tell me about the amazing meal you could have. They have guys that was a spa and they have food. He forgets about that part. They have like Star Wars house and they end when you can go inside and it's very hot.

They have seven saunas. They have yummy food. They have little library books. But when I think it's all only penis and they get hit with the book, they're having a good time. You know what? And I will argue if you say let's go to WeSpa and they're like what's that? It's like, oh, it's like a spa and you get hit with the book. They're having a good time. You know what? And I will argue if you say, let's go to WeSpa and they're like, what's that? It's like, oh, it's like a spa and you show up

and it's cocks just flying around. You have to bring up the penis. This happened to someone I know. Oh, this happened to Diesel Derrick. Was it? Yeah, Diesel Derrick. No way. Young Diesel Derrick.

Nick Brothers or Aidan Brothers. Freshly, barely legal Diesel Derrick. I think it happened to Alex too.'s just too many fucking dicks dude no dude I'm not taking on my yeah diesel Derek is the one who got or one of the people at least who go in the women's there's no dicks well yeah but then it's true you are all trespassing yeah yeah that's you have to tell someone. You can't invite someone without telling someone. So I tackle it head first.

I see. It's actually they build out the spot. It's like one of those anime episodes where it's like just a big rock wall between the men's and women's. And then people take turns looking over and then fucking getting like geraiya from Naruto. Sweat drops on their forehead. It's crazy. Yeah, it's I was like, oh, I get it. There's such a range of penis that you see there.

There's such a range. And it makes you feel really secure because you're like, I mean, everyone's got their penis out. Do you think you'd go again? Yeah, I'll go again. Yeah. It's nice relaxing.

I saw the crown jewel. I saw a guy with the ring through his tip and I was like, I'll never see, that's it. That's the end game. Yeah, I'd be down to try at some point, but it's scary. And most nobody has meat. It's just like, you know, making it public. Yeah, it's like a jump in the cold end of the pool and you get used to it. And it's only because Eve ate the apple.

It's only because Eve ate the apple. Isn't it? Oh, that's the reason it's shameful to do anything. Otherwise you'd be happy to have penis out. I see. You think twice about it. There'd only be two of us still to this day. Yeah, but they'd be so comfortable. They should give you a leaf.

A fig leaf? Much like Eve and Adam. I feel it. Actually, that's kind of the towel. But a lot of people go leaf mode with the towel. Yeah, they do throw the towel on. Did they did anybody bust down in Genesis? Did they have sex? Yeah.

Don't they famously bust down? I don't think they famously bust down at all. They graphically bust down in Genesis. I don't think they graphically. Well, perhaps in the book of Genesis. That's why Genesis are the stickiest pages. He's fucking trolling with his sticky paged ideas. I went to catechism when I was a child.

They're the stickiest pages, is that right though? When I was in catechism, the pages- Yeah, well now the pope's dead, so no one's busting down at all, cause we're in the morning. Catechism's closed until they pick the new god. No, it's the pope down, pope down, bust down day. Pope down J-O-P-O extravagant. It's the pope down bust down! Welcome.

Dude, a lot of people are talking about J-O-P-O. I get paid as the crass guy? All you to talk about J.O.P. I hate pain is the crass guy. All you talk about is Joe Pono about Joe Pono. I don't know how you've lived this long without hearing it. It's like in the group chat the other day. Be fruitful, multiply and fill the earth. Tell me that's not that's a little graphic. But isn't this after the apple?

Maybe it's before our Children are hearing from the Lord The Pope died and he had some head so bad He wanted to get me an awesome head Messaging a girl, you're like Did you hear about the Pope? Sad face I'm honestly really torn up about it I was kinda close Dude, so devout

I'm so devout, I think only head could fix this In the group chat, it'll be like Yeah, fucking, I'mma stream in the JOPO. And I was like, what the fuck is that? It's just like jack-off pass out. You knew this. You knew this. Oh yeah. Did no one know about Joppo?

I didn't know about Joppo. I love that. You guys stop J-O-N-P-O-N-D. Yeah, come on, bring it back. You're talking about Joppo. You're begging people to come look at your penis. I think you can chain grab Sheik. Give me a good Friday Joepo. Did Zane hit it?

Yeah. Did he? Yeah, he got it before the buzzer beater. For real? What buzzer? He had two hours left. He's a strong man. Wait, that's crazy. That's like a bigger buzzer beater than me planning hitting plat last day

Yeah, it's two hours left is crazy every single character. Yeah. Wait, that was the last one Yeah, Zane if you guys don't know he's trying to hit a grandmaster, right? yeah with every character on the melee roster all 26 and he He had to do before the ranks reset which was today and he did it with two hours left. And his last character is Lil' Bow Wow. What's awesome is so many people are trying to snipe him. Yes. Even like top 50 players. Yeah.

And he like still got there. So many people. Mew2King made a Bowser only account and then sniped him. That's so funny. And then there was like a bunch of gold sheiks trying to smurf and snipe him. There were like, there would be like a gold Falco on the screen

and it's like 3 a.m. and then fucking, or it's like 2 a.m. and then over for Zayn, it's like 5 a.m. Zayn has officially fucked up the entire like who's the best of what character sheet because he's the best player in the world and he is currently at the highest rank with every character in the world.

So now it's like, oh, who's the best? Like Samus, you have to be like, technically Zane might be top five. I think technically. Yeah, I think he's top five for every character. One of the best in the world. Not Fox, not Fox. He's not top five for every character. If anything, he's even more the best.

He's top 10, at least for every character. Top 10. No, he's not top 10. That's disgusting. Yeah, he's top ten at least for every character top. No, he's not talking Fox does make it top ten with Falco. I'll go makes it tough. Mmm. I feel like he's not top ten with all of the characters They get like I think maybe I beat some of my dumb bright-eyed boy But I think you give him a month with any character and he becomes number one in the world. No, yeah You're right. I'm gonna Call me a bright eyed boy. I think he just has. His Falco is, well, it got better, but it's bad.

Yeah, yeah. Old Falco Ludwig Jr. used to mess up. Can I just say we had that recent tweet went around about who would be the fourth on the Puff Mount Rushmore, and no one said me. Is that weird? Did someone mention me? Of course not.

I said that I said that it's literally just the Puff. Dale Earnhardt Jr. It's the puff with the funniest name. That's it, because no one else is there yet. It's King Mango H Box. And then the funniest name puff, the funniest punch line. Surely we just throw me in there. Ludwin, well, at least while we're figuring it out.

Well, it's not what we get the biggest claim to it because he's like, you know, the guy, the male guy who made it. Oh, yeah. Now, let me get on there like Andrew Jackson got on the 20. You know, slavery. Yeah, like, well, no, I'm saying not because of the good accomplishments. I'm infamous. Oh, because your puff acquired the Louisiana territory.

Again, you're honing in too much on the unethical stuff Andrew Jackson did. I'm just saying Andrew Jackson's on our $20 bill. But if you look at any ranking of presidents from any independent party, they rank them bottom 10. All the time. I know. So it's like, how do you get on there? He's infamous. And I feel like my puff is infamous. I asked them this question the other day.

Who is on your Mount Rushmore of people? Four people. Any four people. And it can't be someone you're in a relationship with or a family member. Can it be someone I know? Yes. But it can't be a family member or someone you're in a romantic relationship with. Don't wear your carve out. No, because it just gets rid of all of the like, well, my girlfriend has got to be on there. And my mom.

Yeah, it gets rid of all like the, well, if I don't put them, what am I saying? Can it be someone I've had a romantic relationship with? Yes. OK. Yeah. Yeah. My ex girlfriend, my ex girlfriend before that, my ex girlfriend before that. C dog VA. My Mount Rushmore of. It's a hard question. People. They have to be alive. No.

I had two musicians on mine and I was like, well, I'm wasting slots. They don't need to be alive. See, that makes it way harder. Carl Jacob. Carl Jacob. And this is your personal. And if the way you interpret that is like, you know, you put on the fucking guy who invented sanitation, then sure, you can do that.

It's like a big net gain for society. But it's more fun if it's just like personal, personal. The guy that beat the shit out of you in elementary school and taught you about consequence in life. Right. I mean, he mocked me again if I put him on Mount Rushmore. guy that beat the shit out of you in elementary school and taught you about consequence in life. Right? I don't think that's what I'm talking about. He mocked me again if I put him on Mount Rushmore. Yeah, but now he's like dead.

He died in jail. What's happened to you? Okay. Can it be a fictional character? How about we all get to add one Mount Rushmore? No, he said no. We had this conversation. Because Aiden was begging to put Mario. How has no one made a Mount Rushmore of us?

What the fuck does that even mean? It's a layup. There's four white guys. You just put them on a rock. You just put us up there. I've never seen that Photoshop because Mount Rushmore is a collection of past guys. It's not for guys that are now, by the way, the new trend is you go to Mount Rushmore with the art. Yeah. You make an A.I. Mount Rushmore. Yeah. And then posted on Dixerto and shit.

I said I said what fictional characters I was told now. So I'm like, OK, well, can I put I can put what about fictional characters that are played by like real actors? I'm like, can I put John Wick on? And then Nick said no. And then I said, but you can put on Keanu Reeves dresses. And then I said, OK, Keanu Reeves dressed as just as John Wick. That's fine. That's a horrible. And then I said, okay, Keanu Reeves dressed as John Wick, that's fine.

That's a horrible one. And then I said, well, what if it's Mario, but it's Keanu Reeves dressed up as Mario? I said no. Did I say he's Mario? Oh, okay, I get it. Did you say Chris Pratt Mario? But then I said, okay, what if I did Chris Pratt

dressed up as Mario because he plays Mario in the movie? And I can do that. So I feel like it's a little inconsistent. I understand not having fictional characters. Ultimately, this would just be having Chris Pratt on your thing, which would be embarrassing. No, Chris Pratt dressed up as Mario. That's still embarrassing.

It's still Chris Pratt. Unfortunately, it's still Chris Pratt because Mario looks different than him. That's so dumb. What about Charles Martinet? We all put our own. Dressed up as Mario. We all put our one person on.

I know one. I have one. Tom Brady. Hey, he voiced the bomb on. I wouldn't put Tom Brady on. Dude, you know that? What? They got cracked in 64. That guy who does all the 64 stuff, he was the... If you replace Mario's voice line sound file, it also replaces the bomb

on sound file. What? So it's just a pitch shifted version of Mario. I did not know that. Maybe I would put Tom Brady. I'm saying. You'd put Tom Brady. I think for athlete I might. Tom left his family behind. Now we gotta put his kid on. Or else he's gonna have no one to kiss in heaven.

Putting Brady and his kid kissing on the mat. It counts as one person on the rock. I think Tom Brady would be the only athlete I'd put on. Sakurai. Masahiro? Sak'd put on. Yeah. Sakurai. Masahiro? Sakurai, that's mine. Sakurai-chan. Sakurai is a good one. I just started watching his YouTube videos.

Really? Yeah, like the game design ones? Yeah, but not the nerdy ones. He does like just story time ones. No? Cause I don't, I'm not gonna make a game anytime soon. Wait, so we're each picking one. You pick Tom Brady, you pick Sakurai? No, I don't pick Tom Brady for this. What the hell would they even talk about? Tom Brady and Sakurai? You're so invested in how they hang out on the mountain.

Yeah, I like to think that anyone on Mount Rushmore is put into a special place in heaven. Like Toy Story? Or hell, where they must hang out for eternity. I like evil Mount Rushmore. Yeah. The four worst people. The part underground. Yeah, like you're making a ranking of the worst people in your life. I think it's too easy. Really? No, because Hitler's a layup. Aiden, Aiden, Aiden. It's more like it would have to be more personal, like your personal Mount Rushmore. Yeah.

Yeah. But if you didn't commit a great deal to you did a real Mount Rushmore of evil people. It it is Hitler. What Genghis Genghis Khan? I don't know, man, like it's not that deep. You can't know one cancel each other for not putting Hitler on. Look, if Hitler's not on your main. You got any here?

Oh, you got it. I'm putting Hitler on one of my rock. And I'm not telling you which one. Yeah. You need Hitler on the evil one. OK, what if it's just five and Hitler has a permanent slot? So you just no one no one has to deal with the question. Yeah. Of putting Hitler.

Yeah, he just has I feel like it's not paying respects. Oh, my God. How do we make Hitler carve it? and he has to use like a fork He has to work really hard Like he's Sisyphus Yeah, yeah, yeah Every time he gets close a rainstorm erodes all his work Yes

Yeah Um Ooh Do Greek mythological characters count? No I would pick Jesus Christ then Does Jesus Christ count? No

Why not? Jesus was alive Yes, Jesus Christ does count No. Why not? Jesus was alive. Yes, Jesus Christ does count. Because he's just a man in the sky. Oh, you believe the man in the sky? He's just a man in the sky. No, Jesus does count. I put Jesus fucking Christ on my Mount Rushmore.

Shut the fuck up. What the hell you know? You're so stupid. Jesus Christ. You guys are talking about the performative aspects of having the Mount Rushmore instead of people who are caring. I put Muhammad on because he was the last prophet. Yeah, and what is it? A big fucking pixelated face?

Yeah, it would just be blurred. Yeah, and Adan's going through it and he's like, yeah, so the first three you do Jesus and then Muhammad. You guys got that one. I'm not really sure how that works. If we're putting fictional people on, I want to put the tickle monster on the evil Mount Rushmore evil leaders.

Okay. Okay. Okay. Dull and gay test is the is the we take the ultimate gay test. I get this at a lot. I just actually should not fucking virus. Let's do the how gay are you? What is your game meter?

Wait, hold on. Which one is it? Yeah, do you game me for the gay quiz... How gay are you? What is your gay meter? Wait, hold on, which one is it? Yeah, do gay meter, do gay meter. Wait, does it add for the gay quiz on the gay quiz website? Dude, this is malware. Dude, this is scaring me. That's dark. Yeah, maybe not.

Uh, who's yours? You're Mount Rushmore. I didn't even finish it. No way Ben Lodding cracks top five. This is embarrassing. Yeah, this is a, this is a, uh... I like how Hirohito seven Mohamed how did eight actually don't really know what he did.

Kim Jong Il Leopold to what an interesting Elon Musk. The newcomers said these are like publicly voted. I guess. Oh no. Ivan's got to be up there. Ivan's got to spread that. Oh, I'm crazy. No, he did blow up a hospital. Come on. Who hasn't? I was gonna say that's pretty bad. Oh, damn! Obese! This is crazy! He did blow up a hospital.

Who hasn't? Top 15? We're talking all time though. Lenin? That's so interesting. I do think it's fucking funny to throw Elon Musk in there. Wait, okay, so- A tail of the hunt below Obama? Go back.

Dick Cheney cracking the top 20 the job back to our Mount Rushmore we have We have that evil people yeah, like Ted Bundy and shit. Why are they not? Only on fucking like most amount of people is I think a quantity over I think it's amount of people affected wow But like if Ted Bundy had a bunny like, what did Ted Bundy do? He was eating out. Killed like 36 people I think. He was eating their butts. He was eating their butts and shit. He killed like 36 people, mostly like women. But he was doing- it's like he was doing it for the love of the game. He was.

But you could argue Pol Pot was also doing it for the love of the game. I'm not sure these guys actually were. Mao's a dog 100%. Believe it or not, both UW alumni. Pol Pot. Pol Pot. Wow. Not their politics. They loved the game.

He was in Mcm-Mcman dormitory. Shit. Yeah, the Mount Rushmore is hard. You start running out of spots. Who's yours? I was like Trent Reznor and Josh Homme because I like their music a lot, which is like kind of lame. And then I was like, I couldn't think of anything else after that.

You said George Carlin. Oh yeah. George Carlin because I read his books as a kid. But that's also kind of like it just ends up with like the most Reddit like. Yeah. Like. What's the issue with the air? My not a rush for Vinny Paz. Let's see. R.A. the Rugged Man.

Asaphox. Let's see. Idea and abilities. Red food. Slug from atmosphere. God, I can't think of too many. That's how I feel about my own. But as a tennis player. Actually, Redfoo is on mine.

As a tennis player, not a musician. As your four. I will. When you first asked the question, you were like, what, you know, what is sort of the representation of yourself? And I think that's that's a nice way of phrasing the question. And then to make it so broad. And you put Mohammed. Yeah, because he's the last prophet.

That represents you. Yeah. Because you'll be the last of your line. He's not allowed to put here's why the official character thing is bad, because he should be allowed to put funky Kong on his. Mm. Whoa. That's on God. He was a real man. Yeah. And he's much like Jesus Christ

Counter-strike to I Think we I think and should be the new pope. Oh He'd be good pope. I think I think he takes any job. He is assigned pretty seriously We should write so he could be them. We should make him the Pope. Okay, this is how long parks Oh, that's not how it works. Tell me how my girl. Sorry, I got a job offer and we got it's like, babe, it cuts to you. I'm busy.

We've got to break it off. I agree with the idea of crucifying Aiden with nails and putting him in a stake in the blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood down his head and his mouth. No, it's good that we all- But! We have such a strong, vivid image of that in our heads. We all think of it.

Yeah. And I hope that out there, they think of it too. Can I tell you, by the way, you guys don't know this, because you haven't listened to Lemonade Sin, right? No, I haven't. Aiden's the best member of that podcast. Really? It's not close.

Season, district, release. Well, he was trained by some of the It shows yeah his years Like oh chat GPT, what should I what should I say? What banter should I say? Who a truck all he knows how to talk to a chat that's not there. Oh, yeah I'm so understimulated. You're not too far off. They basically play a game of hungry hungry hippos with finasteride pills while Aiden Basically how the world works Fuck your show, bro

Yeah, we train them up for four years and he decides to fucking leave watching HR try to use the iPad as content. Dude, it's embarrassing. He's the dumbest motherfucker in the world. He doesn't know how to use a tablet. It's crazy. He's a bit old. Actually, I'm a little worried about our generation. So this is a call out to the people. It is time to become iPad adults. Get ChatGPT on your phone if you haven't.

Or any AI software if you prefer Grok. Okay. Cause you gotta start learning how to use this shit because in ten years you're gonna end up being like parents who are like yeah I'm not a computer person dude I don't we're gonna be typing like this I'm gonna do it out of contempt just like that's what that's what you're just like my old man like why it's already really sick all the stuff I use now is really cool you know how like like have you ever seen those videos of like like college students? Pranking their class by like bringing a typewriter to take notes and it's like loud

That's gonna be us with keyboards one day the lab where it's like comically loud to be typing on a keyboard and people are gonna Be like dude, like can you just use your monitor instead of your fucking chat AI fucking jerking my class by bringing red switches My class by using Google. Yeah What is that? They're like, why aren't you just asking the everlasting knowledge? Lasting knowledge ask big brother. He knows everything big brother does know everything. God, he speaks only in memes Because it's made by Elon Munt Elon Munt Honestly rookie move he should have made Grok just Elon. And it's everyone asking Elon for guidance.

We would have loved that. And aw dude, all the fucking tech bros, they'd all be like, yeah Elon knows everything. Elon, can you explain this post to me? And the lines would blur between the robot and him and they would think his knowledge is the same as the robot's knowledge. You know what I mean? It gets shit wrong all the time. And then he would make jokes like, it's actually not AI, it's just Elon answering every request.

It's like God. it's like Bruce Almighty email on his computer that movie is fire I rewatched it recently does it hit? that movie hits! I like how with Jennifer Aniston's boobs get huge yeah wait they do get big is that in one? yeah yeah yeah I've never seen it's like he's drinking a coffee and then his't my big and then does there a top pop off or something or like it like the button goes like Any and he's like I watch that when I was a kid and his like beautiful wife is like I think they're just bigger and I'm like, do you just get to talk about your girlfriend's boobs? You just get to do that. I'm a kid Remember that one Not seen Bruce and I've seen Evan. That's crazy. Evan Almighty's Steve Crow.

I played all the Luigi games. I didn't realize it was Mario's arc. It's the Noah's Ark one. It's kind of mid. Ah dude, you just make Morgan Freeman some sort of awesome figure who's better than everyone in a movie and just an awesome movie. I just watched Some of All Fears. Oh dude, that scared the shit out of me as a kid. That was badass. better than everyone in a movie and just an awesome movie. I just watched some of all fears. Oh, dude, that scared the shit out of me as a kid. That was badass. I still I know I just thought of that movie.

It's a movie about a nuclear bomb going off. Yeah, it's a movie about the some of all fears. It's a movie about like the US. It's kind of spoiler alert for the some of all fears. The US creates a nuclear weapon, nuclear bomb, and sells it to Israel. And then Israel is carrying the bomb on a plane and the bomb gets shot down

and the bomb lands somewhere in the desert and does not go off. Even though it was dropped the way a normal bomb is dropped. You have to detonate it. Yes, detonate it. Oh, I didn't know that. So it drops, it breaks open, but doesn't detonate. Yeah, this is it.

And then these random guys find the bomb and sell it to an American who tells them it's worthless, but really knows it's worth billions of dollars. The guy drops the bomb himself on Baltimore and then Ben Affleck is just a smart guy who like writes articles for the CIA, who's figured all this out. He like studies Russia for a living and he figures all this out, but no one will listen to him.

And he's trying to tell the government, hey, it's our bomb, but the US thinks it's Russia's bomb. And so they're on the precipice of war with Russia now. And Russia's like, well, we can't look weak, so we're going to strike back. And then, you know, he buzzer beaters and gets Russia to drop their arms. And then he goes to fucking Sentinel's headquarters and watches Sentinel's play. Did you see this?

No. Ben Affleck. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. He co-streamed VCT. Man, I saw I saw him hang Dong, be Batman and then watch Valorant. Ben Affleck's got it all, man. He fucking he fucking got Duncan Donuts and then kicked JLo's door down. That old. Have you not seen this either? Enough? No, no, this is just a clip of him- No, no, he slammed the door.

He slammed the door. He kicked it down. He slammed that shit down. He just aggressively closed the door on his- He said, I'm sick of this bitch. Next one at the time? Yeah. It's cause they're going through a hard time right now.

They are. Are they still together? Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait. Here it is, wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait I hope he's not abusing JLo because he is so money. Yeah, he's pretty money as fuck. He's like, come on guys, have you seen my penis in the movie? Have you seen Gone Girl? It was the size of my leg. Can we just... Can we just take cameras away? Dude, I bet as someone who has gone to WeSpa, I bet before that scene he fluffed a little bit. I feel like they all fluff. He got like half chubbed.

Why wouldn't you? Like you're saying this like it's a bad thing, like you'd be stupid nuts. I think it's valiant. I wouldn't fluff. I think it's valiant I think it's valiant Cold tub movie scene It's like you're just out there like you got this fucking and then your next movie your next movie you reverse it and you go Hot and go to the movie and they're like, oh, I heard he stopped I know he like got he like trained to make his penis bigger. He jumped for the character I jumped for the character. This is like that guy who was in the Bass Pro Shop

Pool in the headquarters in the Vita store where he's swimming around in the pool naked and then he gets out and everybody's like Wow, his penis is so small. It's like you think that's warm water He's got a tiny little penis. It looked really More small than I think my Really? Yes! It looked small though. It looked more small than I think my remote if I got in the water. It was crazy.

Let's put you in the ice bucket. That guy could melt an awesome comeback though if he goes back to the same place and he jelks in the bay in the down time and he's got a massive dick. And he said, now talk about it. Talk about it now. Beat in the Bass Pro Shop sauna. Oh dude, speaking of, that's what Tarek said he'd do. He said he would get rock hard before he went to Wee's Pawsling.

That's not the play. He said that. Yeah. That before he went to WeeSpa. I was like, that's not the play. He said that. No. That's disturbing the piece. It is. I've never seen someone hard. It's a little strange that to be naked in public with an erection is noticeably worse than without it. Oh, absolutely.

Even though you're not saying you're gonna use it for anything. I did find out, I have a line on this, because there's other Korean bathhouses in LA, and there's another one that's apparently men only it's a gay hookup spot no and a friend go to this one not realizing that this is the case and it's the most of the guys in there there there's a lot of hard dicks in that way well like that like wall they're they're hooking up in no they might not be hooking up in there

but they're looking you know It's a little sexual promiscuity. You just stare at a partner if you walk hard Was attempted to be picked up once by a Russian man after we spot. Yeah, that's it Yeah, that's interesting because it's like it's kind of like a billboard Yeah, if you're hard dicks out and you're just hanging out in the cold pool, dude You should get like a little like a little flag you hang off of it with your details like your headshots. They have that be efficient. Well, I can imagine going there and being soft and somebody tapping me on the shoulder

and I'd be like, flags not up on the mailbox. Don't talk to me. Right. Oh, there is a culture of this. It's the the back pocket color, Kerchief. This got to be 1980s rent shit. Oh, wow. Say it with more contempt. Can you look up the zipper? The fake this is a queer back pocket colors

because we should start doing this all around. You just turn around for us. He's got all of them. Oh, God, what's orange? Hanky code. Yeah. Just go to Wikipedia. Really, the there we go. God damn, that guy's? Hankey code, yeah. Just go to Wikipedia. Really the... There we go.

God damn, that guy's like, I want it all. Yeah. Keep going down. There's gonna be a chart somewhere. All right. So black is S and M. Oh! Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, hold on.

Pause. Snoop Dogg, circa 2000 what? Fucking eight. I keep a blue flag hanging on the backside, only on the left side. Yeah, that's the Crips side Looking at this graph Snoop Dogg was looking for anal sex no Snoop Dogg from the album doggy style

Wow, and I rest my case and I rest my case liberals fucking kill yourself You're telling me you're telling me it was DEI the whole time Wow Dog was an ally You're telling me it was DEI the whole time. Dude. Wow. Snoop Dogg was an ally before anyone else. And that's what happens when you're off to some of our fears. Dude, every time all the numbers start to move and I'm seeing it all, I'm moving the pieces like Sherlock. Me just jamming 30 brown handkerchiefs in my back pocket. I'm just a demure yellow handkerchief guy. Just 70 yellow handkerchiefs.

Like yeah, whatever you want to do to me. I just really want pins and shit. Walking around with the scat flag is fucking feral. It is. It's kind of brave. It's a homemade flag by the way. I don't like purple. I don't like piercing. Oh, I have one.

What does that even mean? It probably means you're really into it. You know what it probably means that you got a piercing if you like. Hang out. You got you got your red hanky at one. And then on your tool belt, you got a pair of Hulk gloves on the other. I like how the like orange anything goes is the only one not hyperlinked. Yeah. It is anything you can think of. Yeah, it's everything you learn at Harvard. Everything you don't learn.

They should make that a link on the page, but then it just rando links to somewhere else on Wikipedia that'd be fun the random link. Oh, that's fun It's just a awkward in hunger. It's like I'm feeling lucky Google button Wow like fences. Oh, yeah, Hankie code colorblind and gay Then you can't have sex with anybody. And then you get, or constantly get, you're constantly getting, you're constantly getting, You can only do bondage? Fisting and hustler confused. You're just colorblind and you go bondage again? Cody Schwab is green colorblind.

He thinks he's getting into bondage but it's just a fucking- Oh dude, no. It's just hustler prostitution. Oh, what do you do? Stop pissing on me! What the fuck? You're supposed to tie me up. And he's like, I'm sorry, I just thought you wanted piss.

Fetish gear color. That's such a cool sentence. That guy is. Why don't we buy some fetish gear? Social media has lessened the use of hankies in cruising areas by digitizing the process. That's actually a good point. Now you just go to fucking Grindr. You go to Grindr, it says everything you're into.

And then it says Ludwig's your gay brother. Let's bring it back. Let's bring back. Go into a place, go into the library with a hanky. You're just you're literally just the now gay sex version of we need to be offline. If we need to be offline. If John Maynard Keynes could fuck all these boys in London without the apps, then why do we need it?

Why do we need the apps. And then when I turn 38, I'll find my wife and I'll settle down. Let's go to the Los Angeles Public Library with Hanky in our back. Have you been at a library? It's gigantic. It's so big. It's beautiful. It's a beautiful library. It's like six floors. Why are you into the library?

I like going to the library. I enjoy it. I peruse. It's so weird. Do you go to the library? Yes, I have a library card. Do you? Isn't that weird? You haven't read several books this year. You checked out books. You haven't read them. You said't. Do you go to the library? Yes, I have a library card. Is that weird? You haven't read any of the- I checked out several books this year. You checked out books? You haven't read them? You said that.

It's okay. I've checked them out. That still helps the library function if you check them out. I support that. I never seen him so busy. I support you. So it's good. Please, Arthur. What is this?

Yeah, when at the end of the year, when they share their metrics for the amount of books they've rented out, I will be in those numbers. I use your library card, by the way. No, why because it's not allowed You're not allowed to share library cards against the rules Because you need to sign up for your own library. Just let them use it. It's chill. It's like a Netflix password It is we can share no You let me use it. I'm gonna go to the library. I'm gonna say hi. I'm Ludwig Oggren I actually lost my library card. I'm here to 3D print a gun using the 3D printer. Ludwig Ogren, yeah, can I get a new card for one?

You can't see the old one. And then two, I need a 3D print, use your 3D printer for a weapon. For a gun, and it's only gotta work once. But it's gonna be an automatic rifle. And I only need it for one day. I will not need it after that. I definitely will not need it after.

It's really just a one time use. All right, well. I'll leave it in return. Tune into the Patreon episode where Nick will tell us where he's gonna use that gun. Mm-hmm. I'm gonna use a whole clip. Okay, bye. I'm gonna show you a clip of me using a whole clip. Bye.