The Yard - Ep. 199 - The BIGGEST Influencer Party...

Episode Date: May 14, 2025

This week, the boys talk about PSL popping off, Ludwig attending Jasontheween's birthday party, and how Zipper 2 beat Ludwig in Street Fighter.. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Whoa Ludwig, you brought the new merch to the podcast. Yeah, I figured I would come in style. Why doesn't the yard make merch for its Christian fans? So I got to work immediately and I just I wanted to make something that would resonate with our Christian audience. So so if you want to buy stuff, it's live right now. Yard sale is the real link to buy our new merch collection. And if the patron hasn't eaten it all up, you can get like an awesome T-shirt.

I'm going to point to graphics, t-shirt, socks, jacket, another hoodie, pants, we made pants and apparently they're fucking popular in the Patreon so they might already be gone. The pants are popular. This was the merch if the Chinese tariffs stayed and that's why we got them from Germany. So you just made me look like a fool. They got rid of the tariffs so. You don't look like a fool but it was a buzzer beater. We marched to China and we made sure that the tariffs would not be a problem and should not affect the prices. So go ahead and buy the merch if you want.

And if you don't, here's the episode. Or buy Lederhosen, Christ be with you. Oh, look at that! Yeah so Zipper said we're, he told me he's going to the bathroom but we're literally rolling so we can just start. We had a walk on today. We did have a walk on. We can keep all that. Dude, people were furious that you were eating yesterday or last week on the podcast.

They were. I know. They were like, I know that like it's that I don't deserve to be like criticizing you guys or something. It was like a very like pathetic, like pithering, withering, weak, weak little man. Someone who hasn't eaten today, maybe. But he was saying, can you please not eat on the podcast? I mean, when I'm hungry and watching a podcast stop eating

stop eating But people got really upset about I was wondering why it's like when we have our fucking dogs out They don't like our dogs out and they don't like our feet out man. I used to do that all the time. What happened? I look back at some episodes. They're unwatchable Cuz you know the dog the dog is just like it's like this the way the dog So when it says no, cuz it would just be the dog sounds like your penis It's like this the way the dog so when it says no cuz it would just be the dog sounds like your penis Dog was out My dog would be out and just in slimes frame and all you'd sees the foot in front it be in the foreground

I'm staring at your dog. You think that makes it unwatchable. Do you think that? Do with your feet? What do you mean by that like if I had a dainty, nice looking foot, that's a good episode. I think I have a good foot, like Yuri. So okay, but what you're saying is it's unwatchable, so what is it? Yeah, so why is it? It's unwatchable because you have to turn it off to fucking rub one out. Oh my god.

Like a great, beautiful, awesome feet. Don't say it. You know the problem you say shit like that is people have actually jerked off to your feet, which is a fucked up thought. Yeah, several thousand I don't actually think anyone has What I don't think it was jackpot. I think that's a challenge Look at us jump into the extremes you say thousands and then you say zero

Why can't we just get a reasonable ready and post your trip? Please don't do that. I tripped my foot What is trip mean and tribute come tribute? Oh Please don't do that. Who tripped my foot? Who tripped? What does trib mean? Come tribute. Oh god. There should be no shorthand for that. Wait, he never friggin' trib over something?

He's gonna say that 2 Hollis, man. He's hip now. I know. 2 Hollis is a burned fucking artist. One week, the 30 year old has figured out about 2 Hollis. I'm telling you right now, I said this to Nick and he got a little hurt by it, I think. What do you think? I'm like two hollies is just Porter Robinson.

Yeah, he didn't say that. Crazy thing. I don't think it hurt me. I think it was just like really stupid. I just didn't really know. It's like what I say, like the penis or the balls of the guy. Like, it's just like a word that makes no sense. It's just a guy singing about how he's afraid with the same beat Porter would use in Minecraft Firework and Porter would just use League of Legend.

Yeah, he would just use League of Legend noise instead of Firework. Wow, you really are seeing through the matrix of art. Thank you. Thank you. I fucking am. That's crazy. They're the same, bro. He's one hall is. Do you have any? Do you have any artists you listen to Ludd that don't sample video games? Let's see my big two right now is two Hollis border

Look if those were the only two artists I knew like I was born I only got two I might be like wow All music is similar. Yeah But that's the only two artists I knew. Like I was born, I only got two. I might be like, wow, all music is similar. But that's the only one I gave you. I need to tell you something about me. I guess, yeah. You used to listen to exclusively marching music. I listen to Driz. It's not marching music. You listen to Driz, so other people's music?

Well, hold up. The way Driz changes it, it makes it a unique song. You see, art is context. And what Driz brings to you is the context. At PSL, Driz just put Two Hollis on point five speed and then left the table. OK. That's federal bathroom break. It was dude. And he just played like four games of Halo.

That's also what Vaporwave was. It's just that one Diana Ross song slowed down. That's what break or is. What is that break? Or is a genre of music spun from one drum sample or drum sample? Who what YouTube short did you watch? It told you that it was a short. It was a short about it.

That's how you interpret the world now is the vertical. That's how I learned about life. We went and saw the Friendship movie with Paul Rudd and Tim Robinson and Cam was there. And we're all kind of talking about it afterward and Cam's like, I hated it. Hated that movie. And I was like, why? Because it wasn't fucking, it turned over on its side. And he's like, okay, come on. And it was just funny.

I was like, man, there's just a generational gap here. Was it a treat for you? I liked it. I think it had problems, but it was pretty good. It was pretty funny. I enjoyed it. Go see it. Go watch movies with your friends.

I've heard very polarizing reviews of it. Really? I've only heard, I hate it. I've never heard anyone say I loved it, but I heard I hate it and it's good. I think if you hate it, you hate Tim Robinson sketches. Yeah, cuz it's just that but a lot It's definitely a 90 minute. I think you should leave sketch, dude That's Aidan's girlfriend said she hated it and then I was like someone told me this I was like, yeah She hates dogs. I don't want the flow. What are we doing?

What the fuck does she like? Yeah, we dissected it after on the car ride. Oh, I'm sure Conversation. Yeah, we were cutting we were going the car ride out. Oh, I'm sure. I think it's a conversation. Yeah, we were we're going through. There were babies in the movie. The movie or the dogs? The the movie. I said to the dog because you should go through the dog thing. Yeah, you should have had that conversation a long time ago. But you don't feel like you need to because you also hate dogs.

Well, yeah, then why would they need to go? They didn't always hate dogs. And this is my theory. Oh, that's why it's true. I know women change who why it's true. Women change who we are. When we let women in our lives, they change who we are to make us worse. So what should we do?

Yeah, what do we do about them? We need to stop seeing women. Okay. We only see each other. And all the needs that we have, we get from each other. Yeah, the ones we'd satisfy. We'd satisfy you. Satisfy each other! That we- yeah, the ones we'd satisfy. We'd satis- I'd satisfy you. Satisfy each other.

Satisfy you. Satisfy you, most of all. I don't think you could satisfy him. Me? Oh, now it's you- first it's you, now it's fucking him. Well, I know you could satisfy me. I would squeeze your prostate like a fucking stress ball. Yeah, cause mine's the size of a stress ball. His is probably the size of a peanut, that young fuck. They haven't found his yet. No, it's like it's like his male clitoris

It doesn't exist any peas out of it And I'm pee out of it. Yeah, dude. I'm doing it. Mine does a lot. I cover a lot of ground with mine. You can train it You kept bringing up Jerry you want to talk about it? You would talk about Street Fighter how you like Street Fighter now I can't bring up Jerry. Jerry has awesome feet it you would talk about Street Fighter how you like Street Fighter now Awesome feet oh yeah, Jerry's got great feet. That's all I want to talk about is your awesome feet I don't care about the game nasty I used to play Jerry and she spun her legs and her feet on my great looking feet You used to play her hard character to play though. Please Street Fighter I heard that my girlfriend beat you in Street Fighter

Dude, she told me that she ran your shit on the setup She said it like that She said, she said yeah I played Street Fighter, I beat Ludwig His girlfriend throws tea parties for her family She said it like that, she said she beat my She said I ran him She said she ran me Yeah and then she's like then I lost the camp, I beat the fuck out of Ludwig

Your pussy ass girlfriend Take it back After beating me Take it back Well I'm gonna tell you what what I'm gonna say and you're not gonna want me to take it back Okay, cuz after beating me she goes did you let me win? Did I win like wow, this is probably the worst thing you could have asked me. Yeah, she's not a computer She hasn't gone to church. Oh, she's Yeah. She's not a competitor. She hasn't gone to... Well, she's gone to tournaments. She's got no tournament respect. Let me learn...

She doesn't do... What do you teach in the house? Let me let you in on a little secret. I've played her in Street Fighter maybe... Maybe like seven times in sessions and maybe like 40 games. I think I've won one. Yeah, she's got insane Okizeme. I have not beaten her in Street Fighter basically ever

because it's a race of can I learn how to play Street Fighter faster than she can spam punch? Yeah. And the answer is always no. I mean credit to her. I was playing eHonda. It's Street Fighter 2 Turbo and I'm trying to mod you day on him. Yeah, but it turns out the buttons are different. Yeah, they change the inputs for some of his shit

So all I can do is sumo headbutt and that is crushing cam. Yeah, it's putting it's like his head is spinning and And then I and then I get to then I get to zipper to She adapts and she does. She does an empty hop grab. And I'm trying to grab the same time. I don't know the fucking button. So I lose that one. You know what's funny?

They've been the same all for 30 years. That's not true. Yeah. It's double click. A double click. Yeah. The grab is a double click. Yeah. Heavy. It's always a double click. No, what is it? It's it's it's punch and kick Yeah, that's not a double like a double double click this double click is when you click the same button twice It's a double click it comes from computers guys. So you left click usually and you click it

I want to make fun of a party, but I don't know any action I don't know what the grab has always been the light it's taking a light punch it's two buttons and yeah so that's different than a double click you're saying is two buttons which I agree with okay but it's not in Street Fighter 2 turbo on the cab it was a double click which again is different than clicking two buttons okay because you're clicking the same button that's why the double comes sure of the heavy punch you should call it a double I Change it. It I don't believe you. You are stone cold and I'm going to say it. Idiot.

If you saw a double press is somehow clicking for mice. OK. Well, that's the ground you sit on. You understand it. I'm saying you may be right, but you're using wrong term. You're going to see the goalpost. Clicking is for a click is for mice. And you don't even know how to fucking grab a street Fighter II turbo on the cab. Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo trying the regular grab. It doesn't work. Well, I've been in the streets fighting since I was six. So, oh, is that your command grab?

No, I don't. I didn't grab. No, it's not my command grab. Oh, so you didn't. Let's get it straight. You're losing on the setup. Most of the time. I though I lost on the set up for this week.

Yep. No, no, this week. It's looking really good. It's looking really good. It's looking really good? Oh, it's forward or back near the enemy and then fierce punch. It's not a double click. Okay. Do you want to know who taught me the double click?

Who? Zippertoo. Yeah. She doesn't know how to press a button once. Yeah, everything happens twice. The thing is, I don't know how to grab, so I'm doing the regular grab and I go, how do you grab? And she goes, oh, you double click.

That is so funny. You know what's happening? She's holding forward and spamming the button. Yeah, genius. And she's like it must be two. Yeah I guess it's two. And I'm doing what you're supposed to do with Street Fighter 6 but it don't work.

Yeah the system's changed a little bit. Enough, enough that I lose. Yeah dude Ludwig sunned me for like seven games in a row because he was just doing the Honda. Seven. Yeah it was seven doing the Honda. Seven? Yeah, it was seven game win streak. I was counting because it hurt so bad. Ow.

I promise it was seven. Ludwig, how much do you think it was? It's a lifetime. You might still be winning. I might still be out there. The setup might be moving on its own. The eHonda got a lot better. Yeah, and then I started taking a couple games back and then he's like, all right, I got

to go. I got a stream. When was this? Just downstairs the other day. Just downstairs, yeah. And then he started taking a couple of games back and then he's like, all right, I got to go. I got a stream. What was this? Best just downstairs the other day downstairs. Yeah. And then he said, best of three. OK, who comes out? You let him win the road game. I saw the simple man. You can beat him 100 times.

That's great. He was the best of three. And he walks out like his dick is 40 inches long. I didn't walk out like that. I'm doing that now. But at the time, I was very honorable. It's different. It's different when it's the best of three. You play the road game. I beat a dare I say, I sit on the set up with SF Danny for hours

and we play we play for hours. Making a stink with you. I'm making Danny stink. He's losing so bad. Oh, you're making him. I'm destroying Danny. And then we sit down at the tournament setup and who wins the set? It's Danny 3-1, 3-2.

Next week is 3-0. It's that all the time. I've won hundreds of games in a row versus SF Danny on the friendly setup. But it matters. I have to hold the tournament record. And so, you know, he runs this gambit of like we got to just best of three. I got to go. And you know, 30 and a handshake.

And I think that's beautiful. Many of us think that's beautiful. Lois starts crying. He's like, I'm not a real... You crying, Brian? But for like two guys that just started playing a week ago? No one says it to him. He just says it on his own.

He's like, it's just a white experience. Well, you can't let them shake you. You look like you're about to say something. I'm not shooken. You're going to cue you're going to cue up this Thursday and you're going to go two and two and you're going to. And it's going to be fun to and to you're dumb as hell, man. I believe in you. Your cheese is powerful.

I have a strong, cheesy Honda that's going to make people want to kill themselves. My goal is for, you know, Kaylee, Jake and bake in and maybe even double lift to want to kill themselves after I'm done with them. Maybe even double lift is ambitious. IRL. I want to ruin the sponsors. What's the competition today?

It would be well, I dude, I have this insane idea. You heard it earlier. I had this insane, awesome idea because he's trying to think of a sponsorship video. Yeah. And I threw out the fucking A plus. As it was a great idea. It was a great idea. I feel like you shot it compelling.

It would draw a lot of attention if you announced it. Is that what you felt like? I think I shot it down. I feel like you kind of shot it down. His idea was race wars. Is it is the thing you're doing not a race? Yeah, it is a race between teams. The race is a war of speed.

And it's a battle. I mean, his thing was basically like hopping into YouTube chart and being like top three favorite races. No, no, no. Number one, which Kentucky Derby? No, no, no, no, no. Number two, which race is the most superior? Mm hmm. Instantly, everyone wants to hear what Ludwig has to say about this. You get a lot of attention if you leave it. This is going to be the same as what I just said. Yeah. But obviously the punch line is the same, but it turns into,

you know, a race wars. Something that makes you money. Yeah. Right. Which one? I like I like Dune Racing. The Ludwig Ockren's skull shape invitation. Brought to you by Beep. OK, it's just biology.

What is skull shape? It's like this ancient idea, not ancient, but it's like the idea of like racist people would be studying the skull shapes of black people. And like, see, well, clearly, like the brain isn't, you know, big enough to be inside this skull or something. So like using the skull shape as a way to justify some racism because it's different. And that's it. It's crazy because they just they just weren't they just what they just made it all up.

But this was after conclusion and they take this. Oh, no, sorry. They they they stood on it. Yeah. So they stood on it. OK, which is yeah. And so I take in the calipers and like being like, oh, a couple of centimeters off here on the actually black or something like that. OK, OK, I get it. And yeah, I mean, you face the same sort of physical discrimination

because of your chest hole. Mm hmm. Yeah, it is similar. The calipers into my chest hole to be like a three inch. This guy's got a man. Oops, oopsie. He basically has a built in diva cup. The doctor does it all the time. Oh, really? It could stop mountains of chrome. Gross. Basically has a built-in diva cup doctor does it all the time

Really it could stop mountains of chrome gross This is so fucked I can't talk about my own disability Disability yeah, it's a disability you were talking about fucking beaten Yeah tripping trip trip dude was just a kid trips Jerry's feet Oh, you can trip to whatever you want in? Tripping was disgusting. I can't trip to jury's feet? You can trip to whatever you want in this great fucking country, but I don't want to hear about it. I don't want to see it. I had a thought last night. I was like, yo, what if I become PG like Nate Burgotsy? Or Nick A30?

Well, not like Nick A30. He should... Wait, sorry, why not? Because Nate Burgotsy still likes making jokes and being funny. to get 30 is rated G. Who's Bergazzi? He's the comedian. He's the comedian Bergazzi Italian comedian dessert. I don't know who this is. I don't know you guys know this guy No, he's the biggest comedian in the world right now, and this is a comedy podcast. It was Theo Vaughn no No, you look at this guy's he look at what this guy looks like is the guy my mom likes yeah Your mom probably love this guy

Nate Bergazzi Italian. It's an Italian name. It's probably two Z's or line might be three Him there might be a third Z. You got Nate Bergazzi That's the guy. Who the fuck is this guy? This is the number one comedian in the world right now. My mom was like, do you know about Nate Borgazzi? And I'm like, no, I've never heard that. And she's like, he's the funniest man alive, I think.

Really? And I was like, oh, okay. Well, you know, my mom likes our show, so that hurt me. But what he's doing somehow is capturing beautiful women. So that's something we need. He his main audience is a beautiful breathtaking, gorgeous women. Some some. I'm not. There's a cry.

I can't believe you just thought I was talking about. I was saying that's his audience. A Venn diagram. There's audience. He talks. I had a little interview. You talked to you're going to let him pipe up. It's a Venn diagram. It just seems as obvious. He talks, I had a little interview, you talked to- You're gonna let him pipe up. It's a Venn diagram. It just seems to be a Venn diagram of beautiful women that he seems to serve. Like Mrs. McKegg's not wearing the fucking Nate Bregazzi t-shirt right now.

Zero percent chance. She might have tickets. She might be at the show right now box seats. No. She might be a groupie. She wouldn't. She might be a groupie. So what you're saying is Nate Bregazi's demographic doesn't apply to your mother? Or your mother's beat? Oh, we're off me.

Thank God. Is your mother beat? That's him. That's him when he was 14. That's what the years do. He used to be a lesbian. So this guy or Nick A30? This guy.

Okay. That's cool. Yeah, for sure. Why would you want to be PG to make one of these? Because I'm a lesbian. So you this guy or Nick a 30 this guy Okay, that's cool. Yeah for sure. Why would you want to be PG to make more money? No, cuz I make a lot. Yeah, I make a an insane amount. It's actually because I streamed Street Fighter with squeaks and I had such a crass outbreak for so long. Yeah, it was insane. The shit you were saying was crazy.

I think we could hear that from the other room. I don't really remember. I blacked out. It was the most insane. If the FTC gets a hold of what you said, I don't think you're allowed to go to Evo. What's one thing I said? Dude, you were saying like everyone who plays this game is over 40,

and that's why your fucking game is dying and no one fucking gives a shit I hope everyone on Capcom gets fucking fired and ends up homeless No I did not say that Yeah you did I did not say that Wait this is because people are playing modern? No yeah because Squeaks is playing modern

What I said is the first part's true I did say the over 40 thing but then I did not say that about Capcom I did not say I hope they get fired I said I hope they all die That is so much worse Why? I'm just- no it's not Really? over 40 thing, but then I do not say that about Capcom. I did not say I hope they get fired. I said, I hope they all die. That is so much worse. Why I'm just no, it's not really. No, it's not. I said, I hope every Devon Capcom dies regardless of the game.

I feel like it's a fine thing to say. And then in my defense, squeak said what about Monster Hunter? And I said, I like that game. They can live. No, you didn't. You said you didn't like Monster Hunter. You said, fuck Monster Hunter. I said, I like that game.

I don't know, man. The VODs up. Shouldn't be. And you can just go back and look at it's like 20 game crash out. So if this is all fine that you're what you're saying, then why do you want to switch to being PG? Well... Or G. You know, I... It's fine.

Yeah, yeah. But it's not ideal. It's not ideal. It's not ideal. And I'm wishing death upon too many people and I think that's bad. I think that comes back to you. It's fine, but it's not ideal. It's not ideal. It's not ideal. And I'm wishing death upon too many people, and I think that's bad. I think that comes back to you. What's the tipping point?

Because you've done it for so long. So why now? I think it's when I started attacking Japanese people. What? Because for so long I was just attacking people I know, but now I'm attacking just 500 devs. Just a bunch of Japanese devs. What if on stream after you lose like three games you call Capcom like they're a therapy hotline and Whoever you talk to you just you just vent to. Do they have numbers anymore?

I'm sure there's some it's probably a series of machines But you can have it on hold while you're playing against Squeaks like Capcom customer support and then it's like oh, sorry They answered it's like hey, I just wanted to talk to someone about you know what I'm going through. Dude 8,000 people watching him would just also do that. That'd be disaster. This used to be a thing. Like video game hotline. Like companies would have it where you could call if you got stuck in a level or something.

Oh yeah, yeah. Like Nintendo, like Zelda and stuff. There was like a picture of Mario holding a phone in the corner of the instruction booklet. And he'd be like call to get tips. God, if that was around when live streaming was a thing, it'd be so awesome. Yeah. Prank calls are just not what they were anymore.

No. Do you guys remember Crank Anchors? I think it brought this up on the show. It was a show on Comedy Central where comedians would make prank calls and they would record them and then they would act out the prank call with puppets. It was very interesting but the recording was on the other line so yeah yeah of course Zippor remembers and yeah there was that one guy wearing a helmet and he was uh for lack of a better word beep oh my god and so we just call and like say you know four words but uh on the other line it's like it sounds like someone's on the phone.

I looked across from me during PSL and it's exactly what Nick England looked like. Off three gummies, dropping 30 kills a game. I'm just dropping balls. Dude, he was an insane man. What happened at PSL? Was it a rave success? It was electric. It was kind of a magic. We had we had we played Halo 3 first and we had legendary Halo 3 pro Walshy show up and he was playing inverted controls and ruining everyone's lives.

There was one point in the game where we were playing a 4v4 and our team with Walshy is losing for like kind of the first time in the night and Walshy goes, hey, if you guys stay in spawn, I can go win the game. He's in a 1v4. And so we're like, okay, so we all stay in the spawn because he got snipe. So we had a power weapon. He's like, yeah, they don't have snipe. So if you stay in the back, we'll just win.

He goes out. He gets seven alone. He wins. Wow. I guess you're just playing Patty. Hey, we're in the back like, yeah, I'm still in a corner. Just hoping nobody would find me for 45 full seconds. As I heard while she's comms come over my ears He's just like, oh one we have some players who are good at Halo. Like we're not all bad at Halo We're back compared to him, but we're like we have some like competitive players at Halo. Alex is very good at Halo Yeah, I love the idea like on the boat back to the United States Aiden as the soldier gets a medal

Yeah, he was in the platoon. He was. I was. He wouldn't get a medal. And he gets this fucking medal on his lapel and it's like, yeah, you're a war hero. And he's like, yeah. He comes off in swim trunks and sunglasses. Ah!

And I'll tell- Back from Iraq. I'll tell stories about it for the rest of my life, dude. Dude, about how we did it together. Dude, the fucking picture it together It was zero kills While she's screenshotting it or posting the screen. Yeah, and then Kobe come out for my first zero kill game ever That was so how old is Walshy 40 something no chill. No on God He's like 38 or 39. Yeah, I think he's like 40. I think he's legit 40.

But it was a picture of Aiden dropping absolute zero, like Kelvin, zero degrees Kelvin. He's 40 on the dot. And then so yeah, Nick said, Dave is going to sign me to Red Bull as the first Vibe Coder. And then while she responds with his own screenshot he took, meaning he took this picture, and he said, was also vibe coding in binary because all I saw were ones and zeros But while she met his match Cause uh, cause I showed up late

Cause I was grinding Street Fighter And then I sit down on the set up Right With Walshy on my team And Zipper2 on my team Oh my god Just really the Shaq and Kobe of fucking shit up What a blunt rotation

The Zach and Cody of The Zach and Cody of basketball Of getting no kills on our team. The sweet life of Shaq and Kobe. How have we not been there yet? That's happened before. Okay. Yeah.

Yeah. So it was it was us, Walshy and Nick and you might hear of all of Walshy's heroics, but they were down. We were down. I should say. I would play an unbelievable game. We were down. I think maybe 17 kills.

In Halo. Yeah. And like a first to 50. And then it gets to like within three. It's like 47 to 44. It was 40. We lost 48 to 50. And it's just me and Zipper 2 finding ways

to die than I've ever seen. They won the game by fucking doing a search mission for Zipper 2. Just hunting baby rabbits. By the way, after this game, I see Nick pull Zipper 2 to the side. And he's like, OK, so you had to shoot them and then their shields going to break. And then you can shoot them in the head and they'll die. Yeah, I guess.

How do you play Halo? He's going through the way. By the way, we've already switched a card at this point. We've already switched a card. No, no. Oh, my. This is after we switch. It's true. That was the last game. How dare you? I'm just saying.

I saw this. How dare you? I'm just saying I saw this. How dare you treat her like any other gamer? She got up and she's like, I don't get it. And I'm like, yeah, Halo's different. Because she didn't realize that you have to like hit people more than one time. She's used to playing COD. And I was like, yeah, this one's a little different. Look, she taught me how to grab. Mostly.

You taught her how to kill Halo. You have to double tap. You have to double click. You gotta double hit them kill Halo. You have to double-tap. You have to double-click. You gotta double-hit them in Halo. It's necessary. It's miraculous that she didn't even know what she was trying to do and she won. Look, that empty hop was legendary. That's the Ludwig, famously.

I still call that out when I'm watching melee tournaments on stream, and a fox will just full hop, empty land, up smash. That's the Ludwig. Tomahawk up smash. That's the Ludwigahawk up smash. That's lovely. Yeah. Yeah, I did innovate back in my day. But you're I would love to keep playing Street Fighter with you because it's so even. We just we just figure out one simple trick that doctors hate against each other.

Like you were explaining. But it's just like me and Ludwig instead of me and your girlfriend. And then we just like seem to win. It's very fun. I actually do like Street Fighter miss coming downstairs in the morning in the old, old house. And in the morning, you guys would just be playing melee against each other. It would be Ludwig's Fox versus Anthony's Marth.

Yeah, the classic. And that was as close as it got. That was the real battle in the household. Yeah, it's cause the puff made a mad mad. Yeah, and then years would pass, I'd beat Blur, and then he sat down for an hour and didn't take a game. And then it flipped. And then it flipped.

It was crazy. But just so you know, it wouldn't happen like that on Street Fighter again. I don't know, bro. Remember last episode I was like, yeah, play me 10k. 10k, 10k, 10k, any stakes stakes now it's different play play me any stakes heads up Now I wouldn't do it because it would just be unfair. I think we should you know why cuz I'm a bitch bro I after losing to him after losing him. I went and watched like four e Honda videos. Oh my god You're studying my matchup

This is just like when you beat him at the house tournament. And he went upstairs to go study Johnny's Puff Guide and Puff Falcon. I don't even think it was Johnny's, but it was a Smash Boards Puff Guide, yeah. Embarrassingly, the night before PSL, because I knew Walshy was coming, I was like, I gotta brush up a little bit on Halo, because I don't remember how anything works, and I was just like, how to play MLG Halo 3. First video comes up is from Walshy, and I'm just like, I to play MLG Halo 3? First video comes up is from Walshy, and I'm just like, I'm not even gonna watch it.

What am I doing? He's gonna be like, ah, that's page four of my guidebook. Dude, it was actually funny, because I asked him when he went pro, and he was like around 17 years old, and so he was in high school. So he started playing pro Halo over 20 years ago. And when we were playing the game,

I'd be like, hey, what's this call out? He'd be like, I don't remember. And I'm like, that's crazy that he can still play at the level he's playing at and he doesn't even remember the call outs. Is a call out, but that doesn't change how he plays, right? No, but I'm saying, what pro would you know that on cash doesn't know what things are called? Yeah that's true. You know pros kind of just

know that stuff but it's been so long that you just, unnaturally you're just gonna forget all that shit. You ran out of hard drive space. You replaced it with awesome Red Bull marketing information. Dude I bet he's done some fucked up shit in Dubai. What'd you mean by that? What'd you mean by that? Well, need I explain? Yes, yeah, that's what I'm asking for is the explanation. Red Bull, you go to Red Bull, they sponsor things like Esports World Cup. Yeah, yeah. Zippor, can you check if they're sponsors before I continue?

I don't think they're sponsors, I think they're just participants. Participants? Participants. What do you mean? Well, there's Red Bull athletes who participate in the Esports World Cup. And there's Red Bull there. They might have the beverage. They might have the beverage.

They might have the beverage. It's not alcoholic. When they build a big stadium and built by a bunch of people who happen to... Build by Red Bull. Built by... Well, in a way. It's what fuels them. In a way. It's what fuels them. Because it's a bunch of people who may have misplaced their passports. They don't know where the passports have gone.

How do they get through the work? They build. You got like everyone says this shit. You know, Riyadh doesn't even enforce their death penalty for being homosexual. Oh, OK. That's not even enforced. It's not. It's just like a it's just like a fucking old paper model. It's like studio loans under Biden. I'm glad you said it.

I'm glad you spoke up for Saudi Arabia. Thank you. But we're talking about the UAE. It's just a different country. And that's a different place? It's a different country. Is it close? And are homosexuals stoned there?

I'm sure they all got the same rules they play by. It's probably, it's all on the big peninsula. Yo, call me the UAE, cause I'm getting homosexual stoned. I sell drugs. Okay, UAE, what is a 30 coast streak? I was next to Walshy and I kept saying, Red Bull's great, I had seven.

They hate that. And then he'd kinda go like, is it safe? Walshy, isn't it safe to drink a lot of them? Because they're so good. And so packed with sugar. I mean, here's the thing. Yeah. Relative to Panera coffee.

Oh, Panera lemonade. Panera is a killer. Yeah. Lemonade. Sorry. Not even coffee. That was a killer. It was so funny that often came up when we worked at BTS and we had Red Bull sponsors

or Monster, any energy drink hates this. But the natural thing talent wanted to do was chug energy drinks It was just something they just wanted like to do to show how much they liked it and every time we'd have be like do Not gonna do that. They don't like there's something about like it being free Yeah, yeah, like any drinks. I feel like most energy drinks are given away for free Well, it's not those damn girls with the fucking Ghostbusters pack on the back. Uh huh. Why isn't it boys?

It is boys. Why can't it be a couple of hot guys? It is boys. It used to be, I think, probably just hot girls and then they were like, wait, hold up. On the UW University campus, it was never a couple of hot. And that's funny not at UW because you expect that at ASU. Yeah. ASU, you get a boy in the Ghostbusters Red Bull pack.

He might be getting fucking he might be getting jumped. I only know it's Jews because I watched a Casey Neistat vlog and he's got stopped by a Red Bull car and a dude came out and I went and I went silent like a regular person came out of a clown. You know Casey Neistat, Casey Neistat, bit of a conspiracy theory guy. Uh, he's he's an innovator. He's a thinker. He marches by the beat of his own drum.

Is that a problem to you? Is he starting to blog about UAPs and shit in the water? He's just saying that we should look to the skies. Cause what's up there? Casey Neistat after painting his dumbass glasses. I should hang out with Sneeko. That's another good idea I just had. Wait, did that happen? Yeah bro. Oh shit.

What's wrong with that? Yeah right. That boy's a thinker, too. Yeah, they're all thinkers. It's a lot of thinking. And we hate thinking. Well, they cover a lot of ground with all their thoughts. Now, you only like to hang out with Shepard. I want to Casey Neistat. I want to Casey Neistat vlog of Aiden, except he doesn't know he's being filmed. So it's just like him like walking down the street to his coffee shop and like

him working. But with the same big text cuts. Yeah, everything's exactly the same. You just, because you'll talk a lot. You talk to yourself quite a bit. Yeah, I'm humble. Do you really? Yeah. Oh, dude. Oh my God. I was at Aidan's fucking house last night and it was game night. You know, thanks for coming. Game night. It was game night. I went to a movie. He knows where I was. You clocked out a game night. You know to a movie. You know, you clocked out a game night.

You know where I was. I know where you were. Is day one of Disney week. Oh, my God. The war is. Yeah. Yeah. That's why we're here at 7 a.m. It's 11. And Aiden hit me up, you know, a few months ago. Him and his girlfriend are looking to buy a new espresso machine. They wanted some advice. And I was like, I was I was like, dude, you guys guys are 40 that's a crazy conversation we're old to be fair he's

had an espresso machine since I've known him when he was like 22 yes he was baby with espresso machine it was crazy how young he was to have that and he would always talk about how much it costs like a used car so be careful with it which is fair nobody was nobody was be careful with it. Which is fair. Nobody was. Nobody was. The more embarrassing part of it is I put it on a credit card. I didn't have any money. Really? Yeah, so I had paid it off.

You were paying interest on an espresso machine? I paid it over like three years. Dude, that's crazy. Yeah, it was very stupid. I still have it though. Pog? Pog? Anyway, so they get an espresso machine.

You know, it's not even half as cool as mine if we're asking He made a good suggestion though, but made a good suggestion. They got a great machine. You're like, yeah You should get the one that kind of like sucks. So mine is fucking badass. And we're there I'm gonna decide and Aiden's like oh before you leave I need you to fix the espresso machine and His girlfriend starts tearing up What? She's bad. Did you think about a dog?

She starts to do worse. She thought about an espresso machine. She starts tearing up and she's like, I just spent so long trying to fix it. And I got so mad. And she's like, stop, I'm going to cry. I'm going to cry. I'm serious. And I was just like, oh, my God, this is really like. It's the most frustrated.

I think I've seen her about anything. I've heard she said she told me she started throwing things She started like getting so mad because it just wouldn't pull shots of espresso and she couldn't figure out why So I guess she's reading she's getting on reddit She's reading comments trying to take people's advice of like what to do diagnose the problems She spent she invested in least five hours into trying to get a good pull out of this. So I instantly identified that that sounds more fun than code names. So I stand up in the middle of the game and I walk over to the espresso machine

and I do the guy looking at the mainframe stance. Yeah, I make you laugh a little bit. Do that. And then I go watch Papa work. I'm doing I'm doing all the old. I'm like taking these probably rubbing it to see if it's small enough It's supposed to be in your in your fingerprint if the espresso is fine enough. Oh, okay. It's good. Good grind good grind I pulled the perfect shot of espresso. I just pulled for I just first try the first I the first the perfect shot in this machine that apparently has never worked. You still have your fastball. Oh, I still got it

I'm like, can I try the latte art? You still have your fastball. Oh, I still got it. I'm like I tried the latte art boom I'm like your machines always been fine. It's a swastika on top of a mocha Yeah, and then we all got in a big fighting game night And that made her pretty mad that you Because for me aiming is so easy. Yeah, it was a problem. Uh She didn't know how to fucking do it, bro. She didn't know how to do it. So she did fuck is up do it. I can't even defend her. So like, what's like a compare, like literally nothing was wrong? No, I mean, she's like, how does the water machine work? Well, you got to dial some, you got to dial the grind a little bit,

but I didn't move it more than like a millimeter. And the puck, the puck, she kept saying needs to be dry. But the puck is so. Puck was a little wet. That's fine. Sometimes the puck's wet. I think you can't have soggy puck, I thought. No, you can have a wet puck. I usually when I make it my puck is wet my puck is sopping you don't sop up the puck my puck is sopping. Does this fresco have good crema on it?

there's crema on the top my puck got no cream my puck is sopping hell no I love using that machine because you can see it come out yeah yeah it's a gold member what did you see come out of it? As opposed to like a vending machine. A machine is like when you you interact with the machine and then it outputs something. I like it! I like it also because it's pressing it. It could take energy or money or my physical interaction with it and then oh object or energy out to the machine. Dude it is so bad at code names, bro. I believe that. Is he a moonshot? Is he a pussy?

I will say he, no, no, he's not a pussy. He's just a confusing word user. I set them up for success. He said, borrow seven. We did have one, no, we had one round where he ripped a seven and we got like six of them. But the rest of the rounds, we had, dude, it was two to two and the ball gets passed to us. Literally the freest win in any code names game.

It is free. And what were the two words? There's no way you blow this. The words that we have left are deck and bolt. And if a couple... What would you say? Deck and bolt. I was immediately going to say like Home Depot Lowe's to

Yeah, names of things and said freighter freighter Dude go fuck it It's a fright the other words are? Freighter And we lose Yeah it was unbelievable It's not unbelievable

It is unbelievable They're the only two words that can be tied to freighter The word cap was also out there and I was like I don't know Cap? Like I see a captain's cap Yeah it's exactly what we said like maybe captain Maybe that's why he avoided boat Yeah, cuz he saw a cat

Use a different boat, but yeah freighters is gonna make me think yeah I would go with porch, but if we go boat which is so we had things like we had things like gloves on the board We had a couple other items and I feel like I need to I need to thread the needle to make sure we land this Because they only got one word My word was build. That's what I was gonna say was build. Aiden you're an overcooker That's always what you've been. Build a deck, build a bolts. Build a deck. You overcook. You know what I mean? He doesn't talk about the round of a lifetime that happened before. I didn't talk about it. I did just now. He didn't talk about it. He grazed it. It was a great round. That's who you are.

It's like you'll have 10 stinker rounds. You'll have the one six star. Aiden had like multiple rounds of threes where we got only one or zero. And then he goes seven and then we get them all. And I'm like, look, we did a lot of that heavy lifting. That was what it's for though. I've built a little. That's what it's for.

It wasn't a pure seven. It was a seven that we. And it never could be. I've left cries. It never could be. Bro, left. Watch me, bro. Watch me whip and also watch me. Nae Nae. No, my team. My team was on amateur hour with your team.

I've got Otto. We have Otto. One of the most genius minds we have. That is genius minds. We have none of them know the code name strat where if if you instantly bank a white tile on your first clue or within like the first couple Clues right you just add on to your number in the next round so they can finish the job Of course, but everybody is like well, what was his second tip for three? It must have to do

No, I'm saying three so you can guess the previous round Number to feel that way. I feel like maybe not be should know previous round. It's not fucking him. They just throw a number to feel that way, I feel like. Yeah, maybe, no, but you should know. If you're a real code head. I'm getting the buffer. I'm trying to think of what his second word was.

A real code head knows that the first two are probably to do with the word I said. I'm a real code head, I know this. But the real code head knows that you close on the previous round. I made some sort of joke about code names and Aiden's girlfriend was like, I said something about how code names is like,

how you look at life. I was saying me and my girlfriend look at life so differently, we'd be bad teammates. And she was like, she laughed at me. She's like like code names is like, you know, how you look at life. I was saying me and my girlfriend look at life so differently, we'd be bad teammates. And she was like, she laughed at me. She's like, code name is not anything about how you look at life. And me and Otto look at each other and we start scoff laughing. Otto was like, I was like, I mean, it obviously is. It obviously is. It's just, she hates dogs.

I don't know what to fucking say. In the movies, she hates dogs, she doesn't like code names. The genius had my back and I was like, Otto's got me, let's go. Look, when we were in Canada in Vancouver, all I wanted to do was show Aiden South Park. You've never seen it. Aiden's never seen South Park and I thought this would be so easy because, you know, in America I have my awesome account for Hulu. Vancouver doesn't have Hulu, it turns out.

So I- They've just made up their own shit. They have Crave. What the fuck is that? What is Crave? Crave is weird. So you know what I had to do, made up their own shit. They have Crave. What the fuck is that? What is Crave? Crave is weird. So you know what I had to do in German Ludwig? Yes.

I had to VPN to get my American Awesome subscription to work. And you know how I did that? Majide. ExpressVPN. Duh. If you want to watch content that is from other countries or different content libraries, you can use a VPN. And one VPN you could use is ExpressVPN.

It's VPN Guten. VPN is Guten. It also protects you from people trying to get information, connecting to unencrypted networks is really bad and you do that if you travel a lot. Using ExpressVPN can help you there. And we also protected ourselves against boredom in Vancouver. So that's also very important. Aiden didn't know that Kenny died.

It was crazy. He's literally never heard it. Yeah. He saw Kenny die at the end of the episode. He's like, what? Yeah, it would take a hacker with a supercomputer over a billion years to one, get Aiden to understand any reference from like any funny cartoon of the past, but to also to get past the ExpressVPN encryption. It's true.

I guess that's the VPN hide the porn. Yes, Sherman Ludwig, it does hide scat porn. Well, it grants you access to more of it that you wouldn't otherwise find. Well, it's also awesome anime. Mm, Deiski. Anyway, secure your online data today by visiting ExpressVPN.com slash the yard.

That's EXPRESSVPN.com slash the yard. Find out how you can get four up to four extra months free. Extravsppn.com slash the yard. Now, German Ludwig, take us out of this ad read and put us back in the episode. Awesome transition. Otherwise, she's fine. But get a dog near her. She starts crying.

Great even. She'll eat it. She'll roast it on spin. She'll eat it. She'll take out her damn 12 gauge. What'd you eat, dog? Uh, oh my God. I'll eat it. She'll take out her damn 12 gauge. What'd you eat, dog? Uh, turnip. Oh my god. I don't know.

He said yes? Yeah. Fucked up. What'd you eat, dog? Well, I eat human, so I don't think it'd be weird. You would eat human? No, you'd eat a homie. I don't think I'd do that.

I'd try it once. You'd eat a homie. You wouldn't eat human. No, I would eat a homie. I wouldn't be like, oh, my neighbor went psycho and roasted his cocker spaniel. Have a bite You're at a rest like I'm gonna put you in you're at a restaurant right here in France and they say we only serve dog here Look, I can literally what I went to a night market in Beijing when I was a kid and they had they were selling cat You could eat cat at the night market. And we were trying a bunch of different food.

Gangsta like me? I was gangsta. You were a kid? Gangsta like me? Yeah, I was like, I don't know that. And they have stuff like, you know, they have like, you know, snakes and crickets and spiders, like all these different like crazy things

you can eat at the night market, right? What is it? So you eat spiders and cats? Yeah, and then they had cat. And I think it's interesting in that context to eat something and try something. In the moment, did you? I was going to eat the cat and my mom wouldn't let me. That's what she drew the line. Someone quote that.

My mom wouldn't let me eat the cat. That's when your mom realized you were a serial killer. Antibisexual. Yeah. I think, I think, culture, like, like, I don't know, if it's something being made available to you that like, hey, this is something that like people eat here, do you want to give it a try? Absolutely, I would do that.

Dude, I want to eat some mosquito. Like, if we get like a bunch of mosquito and make it into like a rice crispy puck. Bro, that's fucking disgusting. That's probably how they do it too. I want revenge. They'd probably get a bunch and they'd fry it in pain with oil. You can get revenge by just fucking killing them. They're hard to kill, bro.

Mosquitoes are hard. They're tiny. Real mosquitoes, tiny, bro. What do you mean real mosquitoes? You know how sometimes you see those like bigger bugs that look like mosquitoes and everyone thinks they're mosquitoes, but they're not mosquitoes? I'm saying mosquito ass mosquitoes. Regular ass mosquitoes are pretty easy to kill.

I want regular ass mosquitoes with little fried malaria inside. Dude, we had mosquitoes in this office for like months at one point. Yeah, you even had to get the candle. You would eat human. The candle that you're not supposed to light inside, by the way. Yeah, he didn't read. Can't read. Uh, yeah, I didn't hear. Eww. That's mosquito.

Mosquito patties? That's fucking disgusting. Yeah, that's a mosquito patty. I don't like it. It's high in protein. Mosquito burgers? Yeah, mosquito burger. I don don't like it. It's high in protein. Mosquito burgers? Yeah, mosquito burger. I don't look at it.

It's so much mosquito. That loquat looks good. It's so much mosquito. What is wrong with you? It looks like a burger that's just been cooked too long. God, I, yeah, I've always said I would try human once. How are you buckling at the mosquito burger, but you're sitting there going like, yeah, I'll eat John.

That was some mayo is not that bad. That was some mayo, some ketchup. Dude, you're an nasty gal. That'll eat John. That was some mayo is not that bad. It's a mayo, some ketchup. That and a blunt. That and a blunt. Nasty gal. That's not bad man. No I would try it once I wouldn't like fucking go seek it out but I think it's an interesting thing and that human would have to have died of awesome natural causes. I think it's the only thing I wouldn't eat.

Really? Yeah. I think that's the only... Why? I'll be with Aiden eating that fucking cat. But why not human? Why not human? Out of respect. I respect the human. What if they said I want Ludwig to eat me? There's probably some fucking freak out there who thinks that.

He drinks off your feet and he wants you to eat him. And I would say I'm not giving it to that fucking loser. But I'm not giving him that. Before he passed away of natural causes, he's written a handwritten letter that says, Aiden, you may try me. You may try me if you would like to try me. I think I just I don't want to. Yeah, I know. But like, it just boils down to that.

It's just such a unique thing. It is. I agree. I would I would have a little and I'm never again. For trying things. OK, so is it is it because you have the written express consent? Of course. So if a guy comes up and he says, I want you to blow me. Well, I don't want to blow him.

I want to try. Well, you can try Well, I don't want to blow him. I want to kind of lowkey try. You'd rather eat him than blow him. I'm more interested in eating a piece of human meat than sucking a penis till completion. That's interesting, isn't it? Me, it's a no for both, but I'm closer to blowing the guy than eating the guy. God, we didn't even say the completion. Oh, no, I'd rather eat him than blow him, I think, too. No, I'd rather blow him than eat him, for sure.

Really? Yeah, but I don't believe you. I would definitely rather blow a fucking fucking gram of human. You know, if you're going to be if you're going to say a gram, then it's like a lick of a wiener. Like you're being like you're being like a gram of meat. You suck on a completion. I am. I then you know what?

I still am more interested in eating a gram of human consented meat than licking a penis. You'd rather be the dead man while he's dead. And that's the problem, isn't it? Explain the problem. Is that's the problem. Internalized homophobia, homophobia, and because you would rather you would rather get joy from a dead man than give joy to a gay man.

What if he hates it? That he hates the blowjob. The blowjob is not a blowjob. It's a lick of a penis. He asked for it. Yeah, but he's like didn't want it. It's like he had to work. That's not really what we need to do in here.

What if he wrote, I want you to email me with a second letter that said I don't want to email me? I'll dig into my fucking address book. I'll go look by hand. But I'm sure we can find a man who's happy to have you lick his penis once. Okay, so I get what you're saying, but I think we just have different values You kind of gravitate toward the penis with your mouth

No, I'm saying I'm a no to both but uh you can't be a no to both yes, you can't No, you can't. Yes, you can. No, you can't. I'm a yes to one. That makes me better. All yeses to one. I'm a no and you're yes to eating and we're both a yes. I want like three ounces of Markiplier's thigh. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Don't make it. Don't make it. No, why not? Me? No, it works out. I'll eat man, but only if it's Markiplier.

What are we going to have to do? How would that help? That'd be worse. I can't pick the man. No, you can't pick the man It'd be a market Selection of a man. Yeah, and I would be at the top of the food chain I would have money and I would pick them in it's like picking a lobster out of a tank Yeah, a market pliers swim around and I'd be like I want that one. I want to size. He's agreed to read a letter

Of course, so I'm gonna probably read it. Okay. Well, read it. Okay, well, he's more willing to eat unethical meat. I have one of my assistants tell me we read the paper. He's unethical. I want to do my due diligence before I try this human taco meat. All right, here's a question. Please. Let's see. Would you rather be blown by a man or eat somebody?

Or have or... Oh, I see see so I still pleasure from a dead man or pleasure as a head man okay yes it's not being eaten by a man it's be blown by a man or still have still eat some human to eat well again I want to try right human meat one time right more than you want you would do great in Riyadh you should know a head I don't want head from a man. You should be a commentator for the Esports World Cup. Why?

Because the homophony is so blatant. It wouldn't be enjoyable. He's storming the pitch. He's getting head. He's coming. I said go. You, you. I've thought about this. I don't want to stick a finger in my ass. We know you've thought about this. I don't wanna stick a finger in my ass.

We know you've thought about this. I stick my damn finger in my butt. So I think I sit sometimes when I'm bored I'm like, what if I got a blowjob from a man? Dude, I think I said this last time, you act like a monkey. Yeah. Yeah. Like you just do things, you put your finger in your butt, when you're bored you lay on the ground. This is actually, sometimes chimpanzees eat other chimpanzees. Yeah, I think a chimpanzee would probably follow your line of logic but a

Famously a chimpanzee would love a blowjob from another chimpanzee. Oh my god, I'd be Christmas Yeah, it'd be like what we can do this. Oh my god. They're down for both I don't think so because I feel like they would have found it by now and they'd all be blowing each other They do that don't they do do that. They have to go crazy themselves They're not doing it like they've done it But I don't think they're doing it in such excess so they clearly can't love it them. I think you Nature documentary told me do Greg put a penis in his banana hole earlier So there you know, it's crazy think about somewhere in the timeline of human evolutionary history was the first blowjob.

Oh my god. Somewhere in like East Iowa College. That guy was probably going crazy. Dude. That's early on. That's so early. That's probably like a really fucked up reason. I mean, yeah, it was probably not.

Whoever was giving the blowjob. You know what I'm saying? Someone took the first blowjob. Someone took the first blowjob. Someone took the first blowjob. It was still the peanut butter chick, but it was two humans. Yeah, and he put like a berry on the tip of his hog. It's like a caveman. Same sex behavior is observed in our close relatives.

Felatio appears to be very, very rare. But there's no published reports. They're keeping it under wraps. I mean, they have to be fucking bonded. It's gonna be like ketamine depression therapy. It's gonna have a big breakout. Dude, it's hard enough. Wait, why is that the first... The first Google results.

Well, Zippor, it's not like you're Googling normal shit. To be fair. Can human sperm... Fertilize a chimpanzee? Definitely. I guess I kind of get the curiosity. The answer's no, for sure. Well, it's like how we can make a donkey out of a damn mule and a horse.

Yeah, but they're closer. They got to be closer. They're way closer because they both walk on four legs. Oh, yeah. Maybe a gorilla and a chimpanzee. No, and me. OK. A hundred of me. Can a hundred of me fuck a gorilla How many 100 dudes fuck a gorilla

Them doing the short They're going up to like NBA players after games Do you think 100 of you could have sex with a gorilla Can 100 of you blow a gorilla Before you all die When they ask NBA players like could you guys kill the gorilla Yeah, do you think 100 NBA players could kill the gorilla That's funny That is a good question.

Like, what does an athlete think? Yes, there's superhuman. Yes. But I think I know I don't want to rehash it, but stupid question, man. 30 of us get it done. Yeah, I agree. I've changed such a small. Yeah, yeah. Agree. Um, look, I have a question for you.

I've been itching to ask it. Mm-hmm Ludwig went to a Young man's birthday party this weekend his 21st birthday party and the whole thing was live streamed He was Jason the Ween and you said you felt a little out of place No way at 21 year old Jason the Ween's birthday party you fell out of place a little bit What the heck? You were driving the chaperone bus. Is that what you're doing? No, I'm not driving a chaperone bus. Sneaking all the 19 year olds in.

I know he's got 90 year old friends, bro. Make sure they dance a little far apart. Yeah, it's space for Jesus. Space for Jesus. Keep it apart. Well, you want to know what it's like? No. I do. I don't need to know what it's like. Tell me about the party you went to and what it was like.

I wasn't invited. I walk in and it's there's actually like a good amount of high schoolers in there. It's like it's a kind of a young party. Oh, I'd feel so out of place. It's I can't tell everyone's age, but they're between the ages of what I imagine to be 18 and 28. And nobody's 29. I'm the only one that's 29 in that building.

That's not true. Phase adapt is in there. Everyone in there is and I can tell they're young because they're like, yeah, I went to WeeSpa with Aiden too. And yeah, and and it's hot. Okay, that's the first thing you notice. It's 85 degrees. Oh, it's a miserable day.

It's a no, it's nighttime. It's midnight when I get there. Jesus Christ. I roll up. I drive a Ves, no, it's nighttime. It's midnight when I get there. Jesus Christ. I roll up, I drive a Vespa there cause it's specifically on the invite. No cars, no parking. 30 year old guy driving a Vespa. Hey everyone!

To a high school party. Dude, you gotta be put in jail. I brought beer. You gotta go. It said no cars. You're building the case against yourself right now. It said no cars, no parking. And I said, fuck that.

I'm not taking an Uber. It's gonna be so expensive. So I took a Vespa and I parked it said no cars, no parking. And I said, fuck that. I'm not taking an Uber. It's going to be so expensive. So I took a Vespa and I parked it on the side of the street. That's I think that's dead. I think that's not why, because you taking an Uber is so much more convenient than you having to drive the Vespa. Disagree. I enjoy driving the Vespa. And I did exactly what I said.

I did. Did he get an awesome gift? I got him an awesome gift. I got him a tungsten sphere. I I I gave him my tungsten sphere Oh, so you re gifted that's really special. It's not a re gifts cuz I bought it for myself That's he's that's wait. That's what a regift means. No regift is when someone gets you a gift and nobody's all it's all it's Spiritually, it's also taking the cream out of your closet. Yeah. No, no, no, no. No, yeah it is No, but that's that would be a good gift to me if Nick gave me one of his coats. I would love that

Hmm. Well, you that would be a good gift to me. If Nick gave me one of his coats, I would love that. Hmm. You've just been wearing my jacket. Ludwig, I the other day, Ludwig was like, by the way, I took your jacket the other day. It was on the table and I was like, oh, no worries. And I go to the table to pick it home because I felt that was a reminder to say, hey, take yourself home.

It's just gone again. We just wore it home again. If you get to see it, I would love it. I hate being on Ludwig's side here, but one time Nick was over because we did decom and he left his hoodie And then he was messing me like dude is my hoodie at your house He's kind of like worried about it because he likes that hoodie. I'm like, oh, yeah. Yeah, it's on my house

That was like eight months ago. It's still on my co-rec. Have you worn it? No, but he hasn't taken it back. You should wear it because it's probably awesome. It's like the black the heavy one That's all of them But basically he he put a great deal of importance on, oh, no, my hoodie. And it's been on my core for eight months. Oh, that's a bad look. It is an awesome gift for a young 21 year old. I think every 21 year old wants their tungsten spear on their first birthday.

Get him a fucking Bentley or something. And he walked outside like, bro, no way. No way. And put a big bow on it. Dude. No. Didn't happen. Do you think Rain still got it like that? You do any jello shots, man? I didn't drink. I first off, it's God-Bone May, so I'm not drinking. Or maybe vodka gummy bears? It's God-Bone May. No alcohol. And I also drove a Vespa. Yeah, you drive drunk.

Yeah, but not at that part of LA. OK, yeah, fair enough. Yeah, it's drunk. Yeah, but not at that part of LA. Okay, yeah, fair enough. Yeah, it's too dangerous for him. But I pull up and they've rented some mansion in the hills and the neighbors are not happy because they're standing out with a spotlight and there's this guy in front of it and he's just silhouetted and he's just standing like this.

And he has a dog on his leash, one of those little white yappers. And my GPS tells me to go past him. So I'm driving my Vespa, I start to go past him and it's a Vespa. So I veer around and he steps in front. And it like when you're trying to exit the place. Kokiri village. Yeah, Kokiri village. Yeah. Yeah.

And the guy keeps going. So then I go backwards. Yeah, push past him. And he's like, where are you going? I'm like, down the hill. And then he's like, last name. And I lie. I just say, I don't know.

I just say Parker. What the fuck is the matter with you? I say I'm Parker, like Peter Parker. Sure. And he's like, no one by the name of Parker lives down there. And I go, well, obviously not. I'm the door dash driver Well no I have a Vespa I have the

And it's like it's in the back. It's in I have a little container back there. Ah Smart and then he says pop it open and then he's like he's like well no one door dash down there And I'm like well. How would you know? He's losing now. He was winning, but now he's losing. And uh, and then he, you know, he just kind of gives like a smirk, which is when I realized, because there's a bunch of noise behind me, the party's behind me. Oh, you just were going the wrong place? I was just going to the wrong place.

So I did win the interaction to get past him. Now I'm wondering who the fuck lives down there? Uh, not Parker. Could be anyone else. And they don't order DoorDash. Like a security guard who knows no one ordered DoorDash. No, it's not a security guard. He's a resident who is furious that people are driving down this section, probably incorrectly because maybe their maps are doing the same thing,

and disrupting his house or something. Yeah, you should have fucked with that guy just for the principle. They're worried about the ruffians. There's like, for example, there's another lady who had cones blocking her driveway. This is midnight, by the way. She's standing next to her cones on the phone, call the police. So they're just mad that there's a bunch of,

like there's basically a rotating group of Uber blacks, Chevy Suburbans. Yeah, it's always on a hill. Yes, and it's dropping off like 17, like car clowns worth of people yeah and every single uber It's just freight containers of huzz. Yeah, it is so many huzz the garage, and there's a garage door That's the only way to get in they have a special knock It's twice and and every time it's just it's just a trove yeah trove of men and woman huzz

You have to be careful if you if you smash the air pipe 11 of them fuckers will die in there. They'll go away for anything. So yeah I go in it's 85 fucking degrees and and I didn't recognize a soul. How long you say? I didn't go in until QT got there. I was like nervous. You don't want to stand alone with a red cup looking around left and right? A head bob and phantom sipping. It's just funny to think about because I don't know if I've ever been to an influencer party where Ludwig's not the guy. I know he shows up. He makes a game and everyone loves him and whatever. So why didn't you go back to old tricks?

Well first off I wasn't drinking again. Throw up AI spongebob quizzes. You don't go hard there. Second off, it was also live. Like, there's so many live streams. Sometimes I was on a live stream, I didn't even know I was on a live stream. Oh, they were streaming the party. Dude, imagine spotting Ludwig like the SpongeBob

in the Krusty Krab. But he's just like, he's just like meekly drinking a red cup, just looking like a bitch. Oh! So did it get rolled? First off, I didn't have a red cup at all. Yeah, but you still hold one sometimes

so you don't look like a bitch. No, I didn't do a red cup at all. Yeah, but you still hold one sometimes, so you don't look like a page. No, I didn't do that. So you just stood with your hands to your side? No, I was just relaxed. Oh, you were doing that? How was it with this? Uncle was doing that. Well, first off, I went to get in the party,

but then the security guard didn't let me in. Yeah, because you were Parker. And yeah, well, this is a different security guard. That guy was just a man. I know. Yeah, the security guard just didn't let me in. He says, you have to call someone to come out. And I was like, I'm not calling Jason at his party

that he's live streaming to come out and get me. I'll just wait for QT. She'll figure this out. Nice. And then we're sitting there. She's like 10 minutes behind me. And he's like, yo, you got a cigarette? I go, no, I quit.

Yeah. It sounds true. And it is somewhat true. Yeah. It sounds, it sounds true. Yeah. And it is somewhat true. Yeah. It's a way cooler answer. And, and then QD lets me in and we lost maybe 15 minutes. 15?

You were gone in 15 minutes. From probably getting into leaving was maybe 20 minutes. So you handed the cake and left. Walked in, did the cake, did the candle and left. Yeah, that was pretty 20 minutes. So you handed the cake and left? Walked in, did the cake, did the candle, and left. Yeah, that was pretty much it. You're on some slime shit, bro. I'm out of there. Imagine the camera pans here and Ludd's in a do-rag.

Here's the thing. Is the camera pans, and it is like, not to say that the party was empty. It's just people followed the camera. Dude, Lacey looks like in another Captain America scene where the pod opens up and it's like, since Chris Evans. Yeah, it's that. But a guy from New Jersey.

It's just Lacey. And it's like we've got a fucking grenade. Yeah, it was tough because I walk in the first person I see is Lacey and I pat him on the shoulder and then he didn't recognize me or respond. What do this is weird. And so the only people who actually didn't recognize me or respond. What do you know? Which is weird. And so the only people who actually came up to me in this party, they're too lit, bro, is there was like five.

There's like five people streaming. Every person who is streaming had a cameraman who is like vlogging or filming it for them. Every cameraman dap me up and said, yo, do you love your shit? Oh, but it was just the camera. The camera. That's a sign of age. The other 29 year olds down to up. And said yo, do you love your shit? Oh, but it was just the camera The other 29 year olds down I was sleeves and the fucking gimbal. It was all the people who worked for phase or other people who were streaming

Who are all very nice? Which I was flattered by and then I left that's a sign of age is the people behind the scenes fucking with you Yeah, than the people in front of the camera. I'm fly. I like that. I love I love the camera dude with the $3,000 outfit aesthetic. Like they all they all have a guy who's like this all day. And he's got like a really expensive outfit on because also lit like them. Yeah, he has to be. You're in the entourage. So do you get rolled? The cops come. No, I left. I was there. I was gone in 20.

I don't think the cops came. I think they had done a good job like mitigating calling the police beforehand and then adapting to whatever rules are in place. So they like, first off there's no parking, which they respected. They had only Ubers. Then they're like, okay, the only Ubers is just parking

because there's like four Ubers parked outside waiting. So then they had to Uber down the hill. The cleaning fee at an Airbnb like that has to be so expensive. Oh, it's gotta be insane. Of an Airbnb that allows parties. That place didn't have a drop of water in it too. Really?

It was like 85 degrees miserably hot, only alcohol that you could find. How many people? Like 200 people or some shit? No, not even that many. Cause they were quite selective on who they let in. So it felt like there was maybe you had to be like 60 people in the house, a cameraman or somebody.

You had to be somebody or yes. Yeah, basically that. Yeah. So I mean, I mean, gave a walks up. I mean, I'm getting in. I got two girls, got two girls on both. He says, hey, go to the car. Let me handle this. It depends. Would Sayid recognize you?

I fuck with you a lot, Aiden. They would love your ass at that fucking party. Sayid is a phase assistant and he was in charge of going out and seeing who was there. And if Sayid recognized you, I think he might. You think Sayid would recognize me? I think Sayid might. I don't recognize him. That doesn't bode well for this interaction.

Well, he doesn't need to. He needs to recognize you. Doesn't mean the other way around. You would learn the chop to us on the. Oh, he might listen to Lemonade Stand. Yeah, he might. The phase guys might like your show. Maybe he recognized you and then be like,

Oh, I actually don't like your takes, though. I don't agree with you and then won't let you in. Yeah, I just don't. Dude, if you're on phase and you've listened to the Lemonade Stand, I think they kick you out of FaZe. I think that's an instant, like, you're not cool. No, that's probably what, dude, maybe they caught Lacey listening. And that's why Lacey got kicked out.

Anyway, you know what, you guys are talking about crypto, now you have... We can poll. Now you got big support. We get based on as an expert. I'm forever at every FaZe party from now until the end of time Do you I want to go to one of those parties and just sell the fucking the acid blotters with Bernie Sanders on them? Yeah, that'd be kind of sick. I would be insane. Do you selling drugs is not insane? Let's sell drugs to at the party What live streamed event? Yeah, but you don't do it on camera

streamed event. Yeah, but you don't do it on camera. You show the joke somewhere else. Yeah, let me just tell the joke on camera and go to jail. And we like, what are you even talking about? This is a baking soda. I want to make Lacey see the matrix. I don't understand it. So how would you sell, like in your words to high schoolers better? That's your words.

Well, that's what you are trying to do. Checking IDs. First of all, I walk in the party. I check out these for what you're selling acid. Yeah, I don't want to sell anyone to make sure that I'm an organ donor because I could really I don't want someone who hasn't gotten their fucking GED yet to be dropping So what's the age to do acid just that that's it. I don't care. Maybe if you're maybe like 25 No, no, no, I feel like it should be. Thank you. I think it should be a high Jason the ween should be dropping acid. No, no, no, no, no. I feel like it should be. Thank you. I think it should be a higher.

Jason, the wind should be dropping acid. No, no, no, no. I'm giving it to the dog. Fuck it. The party. 24 plus a zipper. Zippers is a bit of an expert. You need your frontal cortex to be fully developed.

Yeah. Jason has some years to go. Acid changes a 21 year old forever. Yeah. In the best way possible. Or maybe the worst one. Ego death doesn't change you positively forever. Sorry. Didn't realize you't change you positively forever. Sorry.

Didn't realize you were a traveler like us. Slime goes to the party and gives Jason acid. They're halfway, it's like 1230. Jason's just like, I don't think we should be streaming this anymore. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I think we should just be hanging out with each other. We're always online for everyone to see. Why are we making more than doctors?

Yeah. It doesn't make sense. I'm the reason people go to doctors. It used to be weed that made you feel that way and have those like thoughts, but now you have to level up and you have to drop the fucking Sonic Adventure 2 acid water.

What 20 years they have to do Fent to figure that shit out. No, they have to level the ayahuasca. Ayahuasca will be the entry level drug in 10 years. That'll be the weed of the new generation. And weed will just be the school lunch. Those guys are probably so good at smoking weed. Dude, no, I don't think they do. I don't think they smoke weed.

A lot of them don't. No way. Real shit. I think I think they're just not about that shit. Dude, they're like on some like Tower of the Creator. I don't drink alcohol. A lot of them don't drink either. They're hitting vapes. Dude, there's only alcohol at the party. The hell were they drinking then? I mean, some people just weren't drinking.

Whoa. What if you're thirsty? That's a great question. Alcohol doesn't quench the thirst. That's my point. Yeah. What do you when you go to that event? And now that it's been I think about a lot when COVID ended and we started going to parties and we were a part of, you know, we would go to some big mansion party

and see all these people. We go to them pretty frequently and see a lot of, you know, we would go to some big mansion party and see all these people. We'd go to them pretty frequently and see a lot of the same people all the time. But that's kind of phased out of our lives. Pun not attended. Yeah. And I, when you look at all of those people and you don't really know anybody anymore or like a lot of the people that are there and a lot of them don't recognize you either. How does that make you feel? Because part of me. Hold up. I'm getting hella recognized. Yeah. like a lot of the people that are there and a lot of them don't recognize you either.

How does that make you feel? Because part of me, hold up, I'm getting a hell of recognized. Yeah. Yeah. But a cameraman, a security guard. Oh, so they have a job. We should hate that they have a job. I don't hate them at all. I'm just saying that the people that came to watch these people, what do you get? Oh, it's the tongue. No, this is cutie.

Cutie. OK, this is bad. She's such a good gift giver. Well, wait, what is this? A chain. So we're getting the same gifts now for for me and Jason, huh? Oh, no. You did her so dirty. Wait, what? Gotcha. It just wasn't really a thoughtful gift.

It was more of a go to. What happened? Cutie. Oh, fuck. I was this wasn't really a thoughtful gift. It was more of a go-to. What happened? Cutie... Fuck. This wasn't supposed to come out. This is bad. That's all good. Cutie's been... Cutie's found a couple of gifts. One for some of the men in her life, one for some of the women, and she's been spamming them.

Wait a minute. What about my hat that says spaghetti on it? That one's unique, obviously. Nobody else wants that. Yeah. This Gucci chain Cutie got for Nick, me, Jason. You two? I think there's like five people she's got. Was there a fucking sale? What is this?

No. The Gucci sale. It's just a nice chain that she likes, that she thinks is generally well received. But the thing is, Nick wasn't supposed to know that Jason got it What about him? Did you know he got it too? This is a burden of my knowledge that I have kept secret and you've been living with my fucking very own She has one for women it hasn't gotten out yet, so hopefully does it well, you know like to chat shit. They do like to chat shit. Oh my god, they love chatting shit My zippers in my feet. Dude, I've been watching Seinfeld again cuz on Netflix season 3 is good, man

They fucking they nailed some shit. Can I tell you wrong? Season 6 is where it peaks. I haven't hit that yet And I'm re-imagining. It's funny cuz a lot of the episodes I watched like nine times as a kid So I have that thing where my brain is just mentally reciting the episode even though I don't remember it. It's very fun But yeah It's my first time ever watching my life and I'm like damn it is funny. Yeah. Yeah, they you know, they snap sometimes Sometimes they don't We used to go to parties and now we just go watch Seinfeld. Now we just watch Seinfeld. I'll be okay You guys will podcast without me. I'll be okay.

You guys can podcast without me. I don't want you to podcast without me. So is it day one of Disney Week or day two now? Okay, I'll poop. It is? What? What? That's so good. What do you mean? No, he'll poop.

I'll make sure the energy is here. Yeah. I appreciate that. So. Yeah. No, Disney Week. Yeah, it's day two. It's a recurring theme.

Disney Week's back? It's dates recurrent theme Disney weeks back interesting What they changed the park much this year from last year? What's up? Yeah, they did change Splash Mountain Tion is by you adventure. That's it. Which is pretty year. So it's different than it was before. He shares so warm Yeah, you just too much broader. Yes, what do you think's been doing in there?. This chair is so warm. Yeah. Deeper's just too much brought of heat. He has some poop. What do you think he's been doing in there? No, we'd smell it.

No. Don't tell me that, bro. Not while he's going. He knows how to change the flavor. No, he doesn't. The flavor? Yes, he does. The flavor. The flavor.

The flavor. That's disgusting. Oh, smells of flavor. Don't talk about the flavor. Okay, can I ask you guys a question? Hold up, I'm at the park. I'm asking about the park. Are you Simon or Nick?

Uh, I'm Nick. Okay. Okay. How many times do you think is the max to go to Disney in one year? Before it's like, what the fuck are we doing? Are we talking days? Like, or distinct trips?

Distinct trips. Distinct trips. Are you separating California Adventure and Disneyland as days? Cause that would be two days right there. Like you could do a day at Disney and a day at California Adventure, it would be a totally different day. No, but that would be two days right there. Like you could do a day at Disney and a day at California Adventure would be a totally different day.

No, but that's in the same trip. No, no, no, I'm saying. No, you're saying on Monday you go to Disneyland, on Tuesday you go to California Adventure. You can do a full day at each. Yeah. So this is what I'll say. If you go to Disneyland on Monday and you go to Disneyland on Tuesday, that's two trips. Oh. And if you go to Disneyland on Monday and California Adventure on Tuesday, that's two trips. Oh. And if you go to Disneyland on Monday in California Adventure on Tuesday, it's two trips.

Uh... Oh sorry, sorry, it's one trip, it's one trip. Um... Yeah, that's my rule. But if you go to... Disneyland and California Adventure... And then you go to Disneyland and California Adventure the next day, two trips. Okay.

This is tough. He's made it hard. Yeah, he confused the fuck out of me. I haven't spent enough. This is a tough, brilliant problem. If you don't park hop, then you can go to the other park and it'll be part of the same day.

I think the answer for me is 10 times. In a year? Yeah. You're sick, man. Is that too little? That's too many? Too many. Oh, too many? That's too many. I was going to get crazy. How was your number because f I was gonna say like 20 if that's the way It breaks down maybe like yeah like 16 to 20

What what you're just a fucking hater of love and joy do you I've been there twice this year, and I'm already I'm gonna call it's probably slime It's slime. It's a FaceTime. Hey man. I want to be on the show. Put me in your seat. Uh, how do you know I'm in your seat?

Cause you're sitting in. He's, but you were so ready to say it. Okay. It's a red, it's a red seat. So we're not going to reply to you because no one can hear you. No, nobody can hear you, man. Welcome to the yard.

This is what lemonade stand's gonna be like when you move to Sweden. Alright, try now. I'll be on little phone. Hey, everyone, welcome to the yard. Welcome back. Welcome back to the yard. Welcome back to the yard. We were already here.

Yeah, we were already here. None of us left, so. We didn't say welcome back. So I think the answer's ten times. Ten times. Welcome back. So I think the answer is 10 times 10 times What's wrong with 20 I feel like that's like a healthy because you got to break it down you're going now twice a month You're going he wants to know what Disney like well, so I went to Disney and I posted about it on Instagram. Yeah You know, it's with all of Cutie's nieces and nephews. And they know what I do, right?

They know my job. Yeah. But they're not allowed to watch me. They only watch like a few YouTube channels. Because it's a little more too mature. Yeah. A little. So the only channels are allowed to watch is Mr. Beast.

Sorry. Are you okay? Oh, yeah, I'm fine. You said no first, did you mean no or did you? It hurts. Oh, it hurts? I'm sure you'll be fine. There are lots of watch Mr. Beast.

Ryan Trahan, Dude Perfect. That's really it, like there's just a handful of channels that are allowed to watch. And Ludwig's not making the cut. Not making the cut, but they know that I'm in YouTube videos because I've been in Mr. Beast videos. Right, of course. And they the cut. But they know that I'm in YouTube videos because I've been in Mr. Beast videos. Right. And they love Mr. Beast.

Yeah. And so I post anyway that I'm there. And who do I get a text from? Mr. Beast. Oh, while I'm at the park, he goes, you're at Disney. Mr. Beast texted Ludwig. Do you guys miss me? So he sends me a text.

He goes, you at Disney? I go, yeah. Ludwig! Yeah. Yeah, I'm at Disney. Yeah. And and it turns out coincidentally, coincidentally. Uh huh. Yeah. He had he had planned a video where he is renting out the park for the entire night. That night, all of Disney last night from midnight to 4am.

He rented out the park. It for a video up, it's like a like a one dollar versus five hundred thousand dollar date. You get to see him. Well, I was like, I was like, OK, hold up. I'm about to be the fucking coolest guy in this damn group. 100 percent. If I can if I can wrangle Jimmy and get in a picture with these kids, I'm a hero.

So I sent him a text, and I'm like, where you at? I'm trying to figure it out. And while we're waiting, we're at Tiana's bio adventure. It used to be called Splash Mountain. We're waiting in line. I was really waiting in line. The kids, I don't tell them anything, because I don't want to be wrong.

They announced that they're closing the ride. And I'm like, ugh, and then the kids are like, go ask why? Go ask why? So I go up and why is it closed? And he goes, oh, private event. Right then I get a text from Jimmy on the way to Splash Mountain right now. Where are you? He closed down the ride. It was Mr. Beast, who is there like a little before midnight, who had closed down the entire ride because he was filming there.

Dude, that's power. I know. And so then you can close down shit at Disneyland. I think I think they might normally close like not too long after. But the answer is, yeah, that's different. Like some rides are closed after fireworks. And I think Tiana's supposed to usually stay open, but sometimes they close their special events. This is harder than shutting down the Gucci store. He shut down the Disney. This is different.

He's wheeling around Walt's frozen body. Hey, Ludd. He was Walt. He's got a big Swat's a good. He's wearing a shirt with a Swat's going. Jimmy or Walt? Walt. Walt. Of course. Of course. That's good. That's good. Yeah. It's a lot like Nick's latte art. And but anyway, he's at the thing. So we get we got pulled back there.

He he manages to wrangle it and I bring the kids. And before, like I tell him about it and they're getting all fucking excited. There's like no way you're lying. I'm like, no, I'm telling the truth. And then and I'm like, we have to be chill about it. Yeah, because we can be walking around going like Mr. Beast is here and they're being fucking kids. So they're going do you think Jimmy is gonna let us in his video? Getting Jimmy and I'm like I'm like chill and they're like, it's Jimmy anyone can be called Jimmy

She's the fuck was ahead what you slam you see any waltz You stay you slam the door and then you waltzed. What? You slammed the door and then you did this. Yeah, because my... You know when you take a big one? Yes. And your butt kinda hurts, you don't want to sit down. Yeah? Yeah.

Welcome back to the yard. We've been here so many times. Anyway, uh... They're all excited. Start over, start over. No, absolutely not. Catch up. Can I get a summary?

No. You just have to pick- it's a horrible audio. You have to figure it out. What are you talking about? Jimmy Beast. Jimmy Beast. Shut down Disneyland. What?

Yes, dude. And so we walk up and they're all excited. They're all fucking churning about Jimmy. And then we see him. Mr. Beast comes out the woodwork. And these kids start fucking doing this. They're so scared. They're so scared.

And I'm like, I'm like, hey, say what's up guys? And they're like this. They won't say a fucking word. Jimmy, I think used to this. He goes, what's your name? And he's going, he's going, Thomas. Oh my God. They acted hard as far back to so

Jimmy's video they're calling you and then like sir beast And uh, but he was he was very sweet He opened he let us get on the ride. Oh, you're the only one on the ride. Let you get on Splash Mountain Yeah, yeah, cuz he shut down Splash Mountain and and we're the only ones who like the get on Splash Mountain. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because he shut down Splash Mountain and we're the only ones who are allowed. He's like the Drake of Splash Mountain. He's the Drake of Splash Mountain. We're Tiana's bioadventure. It's funny, little kids meeting Mr.

Beast and must be like kids from 30 years ago, like meeting Mickey Mouse. Like to them, like to them, it's like the real deal. Like, holy shit. I mean, because you can still meet Mickey Mouse, like Mickey Mouse is Mickey Mouse. It's not the same anymore. I think 30 years ago. Meaning Super Mario to these fucking kids are five. He's a real person.

So I'm trying to think of like a real person equivalent. I don't think it is a real person equivalent to us growing up. Super Mario. Did anybody have the same poll that Mr. Beast has like? Yes, absolutely. Do you think statistically Mr. Beast now just by numbers and I know your numbers guy I love numbers is more popular than Super Mario was in the year like 2000 no really absolutely not that's fucking

Mario bro I don't know bro that's Super Mario or people have access to the more screens the GameCube wasn't even out yet. Yeah, but the he was on the NES, bro Yeah, but not that I do think you could probably ask almost everyone on earth. You know Mario and like yeah You know who doesn't know mr. Beast China Not bet they have a Chinese mr. Beast, but he's not east in Chinese Sure ma Is it? That's not it. He's lying.

That's the difference between you and Ludwig. Ludwig will just say a word and we'll be like, sounds good. Yeah, it's Bowser in Japanese. Shoo. Shoo. Not bad. Shoo.

So, he shut down the fucking damn Gucci store. And he was funny after cuz we go on the ride kids get off and I'm telling them that they can only watch a few youtubers so they really like his channel and And I say that they watched you perfect and he goes. Oh, what do you guys think about the recent videos? He's fucking he's scanning them for it You know what the kids are ply. Oh, they're good, I like them. Cause they're kids. Cause they're 8's. But it's funny, he was trying to do a little bit of market research.

He's trying to get some boots on ground info. So dude, did you shake him down after? You give him a little hell, like why are you guys so nervous? The kids? Oh yeah, right after, I go, oh, you got real nervous there, huh? And then the audacity, they go, do you think he real nervous there, huh? And then the audacity, they go,

do you think he'll put our picture in the video? And I go, how would that work? So you're watching the video and there's what, a freeze frame of a picture of kids? And they're like, yeah, yeah, there'd be a picture of us in it. And I go, no, no, you're not gonna be in the video. You weren't funny, you didn't say anything.

Oh, you said that? Yeah in the video. You weren't funny. You didn't say anything Yeah, I mean to them and Jimmy's my friend not yours What do you mean? Cuz everyone else is fucking nice to them. Someone's got to be mean. Yeah, I agree keep him in check You're just becoming me. I'm not becoming that's how I see the world becoming you you would you would be horrible around you Play them and smash you let them win. No, of course not. No Winning a game it's Zipper 2. Wow. You know he doesn't mean that. But yeah, it was a treat.

The timing is insane. It was insane timing and I won't be able to follow it up today. Hey guys, what if we go to Disneyland during Disney week? And we follow them around? Oh! We follow them around? I would pretend not to know you. That'd be really hard. Oh, we'd make it hard for not to know you that'd be really oh we'd make it hard for you to do

really I'd yell out your social family do you know what happened is every time you said my name they would go plus one churro what cuz every time I get recognized I owe them a churro game kill those damn kids They're gonna look like Varukas salt And this year they got fucking mean about it

Cause usually it's one churro for one recognition They said now I owe every single person a churro for a recognition That's just kidding, that's not fair No, they gotta split the churro I know, I said this is not viable They're big churros, they're like this big Right, so the brick went up They're negotiating, they have no leverage

By the end of the week it's gonna be 500 fucking churros You got bread They're so good though They are good but they're not they have no leverage. By the end of the week it's gonna be 500 fucking churros. He got bread. They're so good though. They are good but they're not gonna eat 500 churros. Dude you gotta watch that video. Who's the, not Babish, who's the other cooking guy? Alvin?

No. Vsauce. Ragoosia. Adam Ragusea? No not the other. Oh yes. Jacob Westeroson. Yeah that guy.

Wester-sure sauce. He did the, he tried every single food item at Disneyland and ranked them all Yeah, I watch a video fire though. Yeah fire though. There's the the best one was the the cookie. Yeah, he's wrong And you're telling me I had it was really good No, think about how many food options how many good things I can't take more than ten trips Your auntie how am I supposed to taste all the fire? So stay so food if you don't? He did it in one trip. Yeah, but he probably felt like a fat fucking pig.

Yeah, he's a bitch. Don't fucking talk about him. He's got CG's. He has CG's. It doesn't work this way. This bit works for Ludwig? Well, no. Not in front of the AID.

He has an insane metabolism. Look at what he's doing with his tummy. He's taking in 4,000 calories a day. I wish that were true. He's just burning five, dude. I'm eating ice cream. I have a question. If, let's say, Disneyland fucking wiped off the map,

just fucking glassed, where does Disney Week now happen? Like, what's the replacement for that? I mean, I guess I guess Israel. Gaza has been rebuilt. They buy the possibility. Yes. OK, stability in the region. We would go there.

OK, OK. Both of them are gone. Where does it get? Where is this? Is does this really happen? Right. So we need it more than ever. They just announced the new park in Abu Dhabi. But is that for real? They have a new Disney park. Yeah. Where is that?

It's in the world. Get this. It's in the same place as Dubai. It's just you. I'm asking Aiden. It's in UAE. It's just a bit north. He's wrong. OK. Tell me the right answer. Then it's just it's in. It's just you. I'm asking Aiden. It's in UAE. It's just a bit north. He's wrong. OK, tell me the right answer. Then it's just it's in it's in Saudi Arabia.

OK, no, it is. Look it up, Zipper. They're all one big thing. They're the same. We established that earlier. Oh, he's starting to doubt himself. It's in the UAE. He's been correct all the time.

Oh, OK. I didn't believe you. So, yeah, you would go there. Wait, why wouldn't they just? Do you guys ever think about going to Disney World? No. So here's the thing. It's on Yas Island? Yes! God, that was such a 30-year-old joke of us.

Yeah, it was. Dude, oh my God, the other day I was... I was trying to remember the age of someone in my family. I was talking to my girlfriend about it. And I was like... And she said her age. And I was like, and she said her age and I was like, no, she's not. She was like, she's 30. And I was like, no, she's not 30. She's our age. And she was like, yeah, we're 30.

And I realized I'm almost 30. And I was like, oh, my God. I was so that age was so far away in my head until right now. That was the moment. That was the moment. I've been calling you 30 on this podcast for damn years straight. Well, I'm 28. Well, so you're back. Yeah, I'm back. I'm the founder of View. Me saying shit is the founder of View for you. Thank God I'm back. I knew it. He's fixed. Oh, you are, yeah.

Hey, all true. I hate this shit. I'm 30. You're 30. Yep. He's closing in on 30. You guys are going to turn 30 and fucking come to my house and apologize. What is this fucking disrespect? I turned 30 and it means nothing to you. When we turn 30 you're 40, bro. Yeah when I turn 30 I will be making fun of the higher age. You're going to remember what I what it was like for me And then you know you know See Atriox said this because I used to make fun of him when I first started streaming for being old and I am past

The age he was but he just keeps getting older Yeah when I first started streaming for being old and I am past the age he was, but he just keeps getting older. Yeah. So you always win. Or you can go the Doug route where he just makes fun of Atriox age, even though he is older than Atriox, which is mind blowing to me. If you do it confidently, it works. But you can't do it if you're bald. It you get nerfed so hard.

Yeah, because you. Like the guy from Action Button can run this bit because his hairline's insane. Yeah, but I can't look at that hairline. I want to think he's shaving it off on the 30th birthday. It's like a Russian conscript. Is that somebody who is meant to do good thing? Not right now. Well, it depends whose size you're not right now.

I'm on the side of people who aren't leveling Disneyland. You know where I'd put Disneyland? I'd put it next to Disneyland in Anaheim. Like the new Disneyland? We'd make two. Yeah, there'd be a second one. But then we'd make them fight each other. Yeah, we'd get rid of Fullerton. And there'd be a war.

Nate Bregazzi is supposed to be making an amusement park. It's called Bregazzi Land. Are you fucking with me? No. It's like a bit that makes mom loves. I heard about this. This is real. Oh, he wants's like a bit that I heard about. I love. I heard about this is real. No, it's real. Oh, he wants to make an amusement park. So maybe we go there. It's ambitious.

Do you? I'd rather go to Nick A. 30s perfect. He wants to build an amusement park. I would not go to do it. Perfect. Why when you go? Imagine Jimmy Cockwriter paid off, bro. Oh, did you guys go to the do perfect cruise? We talked about it. It's upside down.

Aidan. That counts. That was Aiden. No, it counts. That was pretty good. Don't Pog. It counts. You guys never went to do perfect cruise after yapping about it. He yapped about it. For to be clear, I'm scared of the water, so I was never down.

I'm also scared. You're afraid of the water and space. Yeah. Well, those are very reasonable. I'm just saying, like, pick one that like Alex is afraid of water, like terribly afraid. Oh, you're scared of getting stabbed in space. He's like, pick one that, like Alex is afraid of water, like terribly afraid of water. Oh, you're scared of getting stabbed and shot? He's like, space is awesome.

He should be afraid of space. But he's he's like, what do you mean he's not afraid? He can't go to space. That's why he's not afraid of it. I also can't swim. He can't go to space. Listen, I would I would be less afraid of the water if I could swim, but I can't. Do we go back to the idea where we teach him to swim?

Yeah, we do teach him to swim. I need to get CG's before we do that video. I need CG's to swim. Aerodynamics, yeah. If we teach you to swim, you'll get some CG's. You can just wear like a onesie. Like a Hillary Clinton pantsuit. Yeah.

And just put me in the water for swimming. Yeah, that way you'll look good while you're going. You'll be fast as hell too. Streamline. Because swimmers, I don't know if you know. So you wouldn't. I actually had this thought today. Don't go there. We were. I was talking to Alex about how he's afraid of the ocean.

And I was like, yes, slime is afraid of space. I didn't know you were afraid of the ocean. And and now that I know you're afraid of both, if you were offered a ticket to space, would you go? Because you're usually you're usually a guy who's just like, yeah, I'll do that. No, do this guy. No, you want to eat human, you won't suck penis, and you won't go to space, even if it's offered for free. The triforce of pleasure.

Who am I? Like, what demographic am I mostly aligned? Am I like a guy in Minnesota? Like, who is the most like me in the country? I think Americans. American? No, they don't like sucking penis I think they they hunger for space though. I don't think most Americans are like those guys from the south.

Don't you think statistically most Americans are down to suck penis? I think no. Statistically the opposite. No, not an opportune nation. We have all the women for starters cross out the lesbians. I was assuming every woman is down to suck penis. Cross out the lesbians. Well it's in their genes Ludwig. It's the shape of their skull. We have all the straight-ish women. The shape of the skull is made for a penis Ludwig. Here's another thing about-

We have all the gay men. Space vs. Water. Every gay man wants to suck a penis because he's gay. Oh, they all like sucking penis. Low-key. They feel like they can be convinced. Oh, they're convinceable convinced. They're convinced. I think the gay men are pretty easy to convince on the sucky penis front.

So who's not who's not down to suck a penis in America in your mind? The like a small portion of straight men. What about children? Hold on. We were obviously excluding children. We were obviously excluding children. Children, kill yourself. That's the two bits. Now you've ruined it. The numbers are obviously. I've ruined it. I were obviously It's all these children. I kill yourself The numbers are obviously I ruined it. I'm the one who's trying first. I'm trying to protect you're not trying to put your fiddler That's all I do

You throw them in harm's way. I don't throw them in harm's way I don't throw them out cuz you were bringing them up by the busload to Jason's party on the I know I brought it to Mr.. Beast that's what I did. What? There's just such a nasty web of conspiracy going on. And I, for one, won't stand for it. You wouldn't do the Yard Goes to Space episode? Absolutely not, no. Not even fucking a little bit.

That's crazy! What if- What if it was just we leave the atmosphere and we go into zero-G. No, no, no, no, no, no. What if it's just we go leave like the atmosphere and we go into zero G What if it's just we go all the way to the fucking Better better better because we can look on the ground again. I don't want to go Hey, and you wouldn't do the yard crew. Is there an amount of money? I would go on a cruise Oh, you would do a car just a girl's gone wild cruise Boys just aiden flashing.

Yeah, flashing boys. I look, I'm with you on, I think both of these, they're both scary. But I think space is a once in a lifetime. So you have to. You got to do it. You just got to. Unless it's like lame because I wouldn't do the lame one. You can just bro, just close the window. You're meant to come back down from space.

It's we would come back. Not if it's not his way. Space is gross. It's weird. It's gross. It's come back. None of it. No, not a lot of it. This way. Space is gross. It's weird. It's gross. It's not for us, man. I don't think it's gross. We belong on the Earth.

Thing about the water, we were kind of born in the water. It's true. We were born in the water. You don't like that either. And you also can't swim. Yeah, but I am more OK with the water. What if we found out there is a planet just full of baddies? We're going to the planet.

You're going to go? We're going to the planet. That's gonna go? We're going to the planet. That's all it takes, no amount of money, no value system. If all the baddies are on one planet, we're going to the planet. If you want to trip to Baddie Planet, you can head over to the Patreon, where we're going to be continuing our premium episode.

The Baddie Planet where they only like ball people play poker pretty well. Hey, no. Hey, we'll see you next time. Goodbye.