The Yard - Ep. 204 - Ragebaiting Ludwig!

Episode Date: June 18, 2025

This week, the boys talk about the new methods of gambling, their thoughts on the new mario kart, and how we had 'the talk' growing up... Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What was the ellipsis then? What do you mean? What do you what injured dot dot dot? What that mean? That's fucking what you're injured means it means maybe there's an implication hold the spot You're saying if my if my girlfriend ever died you'd be first right which is like I don't need to say I can't fuck you right now, but she might go to an out of state college. It's exactly like that No, the dying is extreme But it's like it's like I might be going to an out-of-state college And so maybe wait for me because we're both going to the likely break. Yes. Yeah Spot well, yeah You are a bench spot

First your bench spot now the implication is that Ryan is the bench spot Ryan's the bench Fucking swallows it bro. Don't talk about Ryan that way. Ryan swallows it. You do not hold a candle to Ryan. You can't please him like Ryan. Is Ryan cupping the balls? Ryan went to college for this. Ryan went to college for this. No, okay.

Did he not? Basically for listeners tuning in, Aiden has been trying to cheat on Ludwig for the basketball. I'm doing a basketball event in July. It's a 3v3 event. And I asked people to make teams and I'm making a team. And I say, I asked him early. And he's the first person I asked. I want to play. And of course you want to play. I want to have sex.

And so he really wants to play. He wants to play. And so much so he's like moving stuff around. I'm like, that's great. I'm excited to play with you. I canceled a trip to play with you. He's very well. No, no, no. It sounds like you canceled a trip to play.

We're getting there because then this other guy who has to be Captain Trevor starts picking up a ringers. Okay. He's like, I picked up this guy. He can dunk. I was like, what are you? Yeah. He said he picked up a guy who can dunk and then he picked up this guy, Ryan, who played

basketball with, who's like very good, played in college. Ryan's the best player in our group on Sundays that we play with. And then it's 3 v 3, so he's asking for his fourth bench person to be fricking Aiden. And then Aiden says no, because he's on a team with me. But I tell Aiden I give some insider info, which is that I hurt my knee this past weekend. What does he do? What does he do after he heard that? So Aiden immediately immediately pulls out a second cell phone, goes to Trevor

with the second cell phone. He goes, ah, he's injured dot dot dot. Yeah, maybe we can fuck on the side. Maybe maybe just a little mouth stuff while he's hurt. And then when I'm back in action, what we're supposed to be on like usual. He messages. I think so. He messages Work Dave in his phone. Yeah, I message work. David didn't even know Work Dave moved his phone. Yeah.

I messaged work Dave. Work Dave moved you to the bench and you still want to sleep with him. No, I wouldn't want to be on the bench. So that's it. Well, isn't it just vintage Aiden at this point? I'm going to be out there with the most crippled. You're not out of this. You're a piece of shit too.

What the fuck am I doing? I don't even care about basketball. Nick's cool by the way. Wait, Nick's fine? Yeah, Nick's cool, he's actually awesome. Fucking a mama. Nick hits one trick shot and he's out. He's out, he's out.

No, he's out. I'm so sorry. You almost stuck the landing. Me, me, me, me. Yeah. Didn't really go higher than that. So anyway. But wait, real quick, his girlfriend dressed him like Vacation Mario the other day.

Oh yeah, what was that outfit? She sent a picture, she's like, Hawaiian Nick. Dude, the other day. Oh, yeah. What was that? She's like Hawaiian Nick Yeah, motherfucker look like it looks like he's gonna race the Monte mole dude, okay, okay, hold on So it's time show it. It's not bad Sure, it was Father's Day her dad. We got her dad some some awesome dad shirts, you know, they're buttoned up They're Hawaiian looking. Whatever your dad likes to wear. I don't know what it looks like.

Like a dad shirt. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know what that is. And he put it on. And he was happy, we all. And her dad was like, thought it would be funny if I wore it. Because I'm always wearing like darker colors. So you put it on. That's really all it was. It's not that remarkable of a shirt, but it's funny putting it on him in particular because he has such a they all pointed and they were like that is hilarious specific To dress you for a week do it you would have such awesome fits. This is fine. Wow

God my volume too. Yeah, you just look like vacation Mario. It looks like the c9 LTA Jersey Take the ice the look of c9 LTA jersey. Take the ice. You look up C9 LTA jersey. They weren't it now, but. See, you do got ice on the wrist. Just enjoying his time at Al Delfino. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't even get flood started on me. By the way, New Balance's are in.

Do you know why? Why? Shohei Otani. Shohei's on New Balance? New Balance's are in because of Shohei Otani. They were really struggling before they worked with Shohei Otani. Shoes Japan. How fucking, how surprising. Shohei Otani brought it back, see?

Brought it back? Dude, they've been caught for years. They didn't bring new balances back. Mango did not want to be there that day. No, I think he did. Look at him, bro. He always loves doing that shit. Mango actually is like... No, he's always willing.

He's willing to do it. He's actually just horrible at photo shoots. He's horrible at anything directed. It has to be He did voiceover for those arm sleeves What the hell is that? It's so funny listening to him do scripted voiceover. When he did the shoot for streamer games last year He was one of the worst actors of all time. Yeah, it's funny cuz back in the Beat Beyond the Summit days, too He talked about how like I'm an acting legend Yeah, like I went to I did acting classes in school

and then you get Mango in front of a camera. It's just like he's terrible. But he's got heart and you appreciate that. It makes you question the stories about Golden Glove Marquez. Golden Glove Marquez does seem to be a shaky foundation now. He says he was the best. He said he said if there's three things in the world that could have done, melee CSGO, or baseball.

You know what the thing about me is, you know how big of a Mango fan I am? I just believe him. 100%. Every time. Every time he says I used to be this, I'm like, that's crazy. How could you be so good at all of it? What's your deal? Why are you fucking pissy, fucking coming up cause of why you dressed like Vanilla Ice? I like your pants, man. Thanks, man. I got a good ass fit on today, bro. You ever see the Vanilla Ice video where he talks about how he didn't steal David Bowie's

beat? How does he say that? How would he even make that argument? That's under pressure. That's crazy that you'd make that argument. Vanilla Ice, in an interview, he goes, no, no, it's different. It's like, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun. And I put that little thing in there.

He doesn't even know it's a hi-hat. And I put that little sound in there. And that's Vanell Ice. And he needed to go, ninja, go. That's so awesome. And then he made so much money and lost it all. I'm out of you because you texted me some annoying shit. You texted me, he goes, what?

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I didn't even plan on doing it. You know why? I'll explain. It'd be crazy if you planned on doing anything like this. Okay, I messaged him yesterday. I said, what's your devil fruit? Aiden, you know what that means? Oh, yeah.

So I don't know what this means. It doesn't mean anything. He said it doesn't mean something to you. You had an answer. Yeah, it's what we eat to go on the greatest adventure of all time that captivates the minds of millions of fans. Millions of 30 year old white anime fans love this Okay, insane comment

What? Insane Am I wrong? Yeah, very wrong Millions of 30 year old anime fans love this And 20 year old and Hispanics Sure, yeah And Asian

Yeah, yeah, more races And Indian What about Laos? Which is still Asian Wait, what is this? Can someone explain? Dude, it's the Devil Fruit Quiz! Oh, I know now. He's talking kind of like in the Loofy voice. In One Piece, you get a Devil Fruit. It gives you power. Every Devil Fruit's unique. And, Nick, when you eat it, you can't swim.

But they're pilots on boats! And that's why it's a good show. What? It's a great show! We're telling the truth. No, but you're saying it in a way it's a good show. D'AAAHHHHH! What? It's a great show! We're telling the truth! No! But you're saying it in a way that's pejorative!

It's not pejorative! You can't swim in a 30-year-old way! It's a great show! You only have to suffer through the first 200 badly paced episodes to get to the good part! And why the hell can you not swim when you eat it? Because it's a devil. Because you got a full stomach.

Because the devil fruit- Wait a minute, you can't swim with a full stomach. The devil fruit imbues you with powers, but you're not supposed to have these powers. So Mother Earth takes back the ability to swim from you. In a world, Nick, that is 90% ocean. This is not Earth. You got a gum gum fruit. That's not even in the books for fruit, by the way.

That's not even in the devil fruit book. That's the mother shit? The gum gum fruit. Yeah, it's based on- The fruit that makes the main guy stretch. The fruit that by the way, that's not even in the devil fruit book. That's some other shit. The gum gum. Yeah, it's based on the fruit that makes the guy stretch. The fruit that makes the main guy stretch isn't in the book. No, no, no. There's a yeah, because because Vega Punk has a book of all the devil fruits and gum gum fruit isn't in it. He's never seen that fruit before.

And he thinks is a fruit of the God. So I message him. I said, what's your devil fruit? He replies almost immediately, which never happens. He said, I like to think I would be a Logia Andy, is that how you say it? Yeah. A Logia Andy.

Okay. And then I replied, hello, you have run out of allotted tokens for responses from Friend LLMLTD. If you would like to purchase more tokens, text PLTR to this number. The amount will be debited from your account. He replies stop Reply payment accepted

$799.99 will be charged to your payment method and then I said, haha. Yeah, Logia is cool. Oh my god It's so funny to just message you So that you can do that and then he said I'd pay $800 to talk one piece with you Wow, and it got real and then he didn't fucking reply Okay, so I was watching his stream and he didn't reply Really quick guys out you for a second. Yeah, Adam Adam They send a text to my girlfriend and he's like look how much awesome olive oil I bought Yeah, and it's like a big thing of olive oil And I'm next to her and she looks at me and she goes since since when does he cook? And I was like, I don't know.

And so she says that she goes, since when do you cook? And he goes, nah, I order the salad with no dressing on uber eats. Yeah. And I just like olive oil. And then I put the dressing on myself. I'm assuming with olive oil. Yeah, because I don't trust their dressings. I like my own dressing.

What do you rip? Huh? Olive oil. No, I know. with olive oil. Yeah, because I don't trust their dressings. I like my own dressing. What do you rip? Huh? Olive oil. No, I know. I know. I know. I know. I understand that. Do you drizzle it? You just drizzle it. Do you have about three? Do you want laundry?

What are you talking about? Do you do your laundry? I do my laundry. Don't say, of course. I think that's an of course. I don't like yours. You know, I do. We're not like the upper class.

I do my own laundry. Episode like four, I have had this same shirt, alright? This is literally on the episode four or some shit. So I- If someone did your laundry, they would have eaten the shirt. Yeah. They would have eaten the protein. Cause I was lost, I was lost.

They would get hungry. They would get hungry after enough of the shirt. I'm just not a clothes guy the way you guys are clothes guys. Uh. Maybe a shirt guy, but. So yeah, I do my own laundry. What else do you want to fucking get smelt with? I would love to talk to one piece of with you.

Really? Yeah. Well, I was watching BrawlPro's stream and someone asked him, what's your devil fruit? And then he said, uh, uh, to swim. They can't do that, right? No, there is a fruit that lets you swim through earth. Why the devil fruit don't make you not swim? Not through water, through earth

That's situational Unrealistic Situational Seems unrealistic The earth is water This is the greatest anime I've ever done It's so good bro, it's so good I'm not even being sarcastic, right now we're in Egg Head Island

And it's a futuristic island but it's actually from the past No way Yes That's crazy And Dr.Vegapunk's the smartest. It actually is. No way. Yes. That's crazy. And Dr. Vagabunk's the smartest person ever. And guess what? They're sending assassins after him.

Oh, my God. Now, did your science teacher? Your science teacher called me and she's a little upset that you got a D on your final. Yeah. And you even send it. You even spend a lot of time at the library, sitting on the floor reading the manga.

What do you fucking know about anything? Manga. What are you doing? What are you doing all day? I've consumed more One Piece than either those two. You you. Where are you at? Uh, what? I made it to like fucking Sky City or whatever. Skypia.

Don't say it wrong on purpose. I didn't know the name. You really love this, don't you? Yeah, it's awesome. It's so good. I got some Christmas gifts in mind. It's so good. I don't know how some of it so good. Okay. I got some Christmas gifts in mind It's so good I don't know how some of it's good. No, it's all good

It's all good You're like arguing that it's all good and for for a while you wanted to put polite in a fucking room for two weeks And make him watch all one piece. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, so like that's not something you would do with a good piece of media Yeah, you could you because it's more about the it's the child like the challenge Yeah, that's great And I've trapped myself in a room to beat that game and it was torturous Because it was that it was the time span to do it and that made it difficult. Yeah Elden ring is good.

But if you play 102 hours in a row, then it becomes tougher. The challenge, it does. I did it. You haven't done it. So I win this. It's true. It is guy who's done it versus guy who hasn't done it right now. I just believe that Elden Ring is better than One Piece. Sorry, cancel me woke. It's not. It's not. Oh! And now we have something for them to vote on their phones right now.

Elden Ring versus One Piece. I think it's great. One Piece. One Piece wins. One Piece easily wins. If we blend me and Nick's psyche on this, we get to have an opinion together as one unit. Because I've played the first five percent of Elden Ring and I've watched the first five percent of one piece, which is roughly 700. This is roughly getting about 200, 300 episodes in. You know what it's like?

It's like hearing someone talk about a smash and then they go, P you. It's like it's like it's like a no deodorant joke. I don't think it's that way. One piece long joke. No, I don't think it's the same. Yeah, but that's like it's the same. If I went to a bunch of tournaments and people smelled, you get to say that. If I went to five majors and then they all smelled bad and I walked away with that opinion, I'd respect it a bit more.

It's like, sure, I didn't attend for 10 years. He smelled the stinky, stinky butt. Which low key, low key is actually what all fighting game tournaments smell like. But yeah, I was you know, I was going to say I reported back from Combo Breaker. It was fine. Oh, yeah, this is progress. It is progress 100 percent, because% because I think combo breaker last year was actually reportedly very bad Yeah, so I'm not gonna shower. I have pools at 1 p.m. I gotta wake up early. Yeah

exactly Dude, I was the new Mario Kart. I was thinking about it a lot and I think I have a problem with it Okay, is it Luigi's outfit all of which one only the racist ones? He's so cute ones. I like there's one it's I think he have a problem with it. OK, is it Luigi's outfit? All of which one? Only the racist ones. He's so cute. The ones I like. There's one. There's one. It's I think he's a Persian one. Yeah, that's the one I like the most. Yeah, that was awesome.

I like the gondolier. It looks like he looks like a pimp from Turkey. He probably is. There's a bunch of Monogasc racing drivers who are really upset about the racing suits. That's like that's one. The baby the baby Mario helmet. It just says baby racing in a cool font. That's a great design.

But I was playing it and I was thinking, like, I think my problem with it is that it's just this giant, like, goon session of a fidelity. Yeah, look at there it is. Oasis. Aiden trying to get dressed in the morning. Wait, that one's tight. That's just Buzz Lightyear. I haven't unlocked that one! That's in Odyssey.

It's a good film. Go to the right. Wait, they got Tradwife Peach? This is just Zipper's Switch? Bro! Wait, how the fuck did you put this on screen so fast? This is just Zipper's Switch. Oh, it's a video.

Wait, but I said go to the right and then you did. That's crazy. That is crazy. What the hell is that about? Is Zipper's watching a YouTube video of looking at a costume? Alright, now go down. I'm gonna go down. I'm gonna go down.

I'm gonna go down. I'm gonna go down. I'm gonna go down. I I said go to the right and then you did. That's crazy. That is crazy. Zippor's watching a YouTube video of looking at a costume. Alright, now go down. Come on, bitch, come on, do it. Nooo. I think the problem is it's this game of ultra-ultra-fidelity, right?

And you play it and it's this goonsesh where it's all these colors and it's very beautiful. And you're just sucked in in and the game isn't maybe it's just like old guy plays video games, but like the older ones, because of the lower fidelity, like made you ask more questions about the game and like interface with it. If I can add on to that, why do we need a Rainbow Road? We just don't have one.

I'm not going to use it. They got rid of it, but then in the game for right. They don't have a new Rainbow Road. They did different now. Now there's a message behind it. Oh That's crazy. Do I have them locked? You might, you, if you have you played all the Grand Prix's? I think I will do a bit then. No Uh, I think you're an old man right now. I think it's like it's less of a game and it's more of just like this fucking Like Jack into the the goon world actually and what's stretchy BT?

I actually think look fuck Nintendo all the way through you know. Oh, no, that's under 3000. I think the same thing But I feel like this is like the first Mario Kart where they did anything different. It's awesome like what like like the open world The open world idea idea Mario Kart in fucking 20 years. Yeah, I think that's beside the point, I guess, that I'm trying to like look at or like think about that I've been thinking about was that it's just like it's less of a Mario Kart game. There's no room for the brain to like think and make decisions besides like drive on this beautiful planet.

Expert. It just feels that way. Expert chime in. I respect that feeling. I get where it comes from because I think you're right about that in a lot of cases. But the game is bad. You're freaking out thinking everything is bad. The game is pretty good. Yeah, I think it's fun to play.

It has a couple major weaknesses, but mechanically the game is becoming like really interesting so far. Like pro players are finding a lot of like cool stuff and the game seems to be Somewhat somewhat competitive if you don't play on the giant interim straight line tracks People were begging for your opinion on the subreddit. Yeah Well get this if you are in or if you're playing pubs and you're voting for tracks and not picking random you're a part of the problem You should never play this. It's not necessarily random only right? You just you can pick. Sometimes you rarely get a selectable track that's three laughs

But you have to go the worldwide etiquette is you just pick random so that you go play actual tracks. Yeah, that's fair No, the game's awesome, bro. You know what opened my eyes is I grinded six hours on one level Like a time trial. Yeah, just a time trial trying to fucking crack the world record You know been doing that like in the other game. You know how we were. Yeah, but it's I think it's the tech that's involved is more Like exciting to do. It is Even from watching you have to like hit fucking wall jumps and grinds and shit. And they've also added a way to grind it easier in this game. Yeah. Yeah.

That's how Simply was going for Moo Moo. Yeah. Yeah, he was good. He was very close too. But yeah, I was grinding like Bowser's Castle and I was like sweating my ass off and I got 20 seconds off. And I was like, I felt good about it. And then I grinded more and I got like nine seconds off. I'm still nine seconds off. I'm fucking good at that level. No, you're not. You're nine seconds off and I was like I felt good about it and then I grinded more and I got like nine seconds off I'm still nine seconds off. I'm fucking good at that level. No, you're not you're not World record. Yeah. Yeah, that's a lot. Yeah for Bowser's Castle. It's not a lot, bro For Bowser's Castle that shit a crap is a hard. They have crazy moves on that map. They're crazy things Hmm, there's some crazy moves. I don't know. I admire car a I felt like his fucking

Baby game and I felt like I felt more like how you feel about this game. I think everything you said about 8 Deluxe is true because that game looked really nice and it had in my opinion so little to it. It was such a boring game. If the game looks like shit, not like shit, sorry. If the game looks like an older game, all your problems solved. Yeah, not solved, but like that's part of, I think, what I was thinking about a lot is like the creeping nature of like

ultra fidelity and like it's beautiful. The game is beautiful to look at and it's crazy, but along the way you lose a curiosity because the game answers all of your curiosity with high fidelity. I think you're right in that the game, like, I think this game could have gotten away with that, and a lot of games get away with that in general. And the game looking so good and having so much content packed into it, and being so polished maybe not letting you do crazy glitches or cuts that old games that were programmed worse would allow. But the game, the mechanics of the game allow you to be pretty creative in what you can do. And people are finding pretty like high execution shortcuts and things.

You know how we were talking about how when people play games now, it feels like everybody's so good compared to like when you can just boot up Call of Duty and fucking stomp people? That's this game. It's crazy. Compared to like when I played Mario Kart Wii Online as a kid, I was dog shit and I could like farm rooms. Now everybody, like half of the normal lobbies play like the meta combo. People go for difficult shortcuts. And word just like spreads way quicker now.

I think like so many people watch content with the game. It gets Nintendo pissed off, I bet too. Cause like their job is to create a game where you hop on the chat with your friend and you go, yay, oh no, I got a blue shield. Oh no, time to go to bed. Time to go do this for 40 years and die. But really like they're games, man.

People want to compete. You stupid fucks. I think they actually aim for it in this game. At least with the, like... Because they have such easy tools to download somebody's world record and then race against it. And just grind it. And you can just literally watch

somebody's world record in the game. Sure. Without playing it. And then you can race against it and see all the tech that they use. And what's funny is you look at the leaderboards for every other level and you can see everyone's comp.

And it's everyone's like... Whoever got the world record record everyone copies that exact Yeah, and then the cutest one is Moo Moo Meadow. Everyone plays cow. Oh, there's a reason though except for world record Why the cow gives you so there's secret hidden stats in the game The cow boosts your dirt speed and that whole track is dirt So how is the fastest combo on that course? There's a reason not the the fastest world record though. It's not the fastest time though. Oh no? No. There's like one Wario and then like that's fifth fucking fire bro. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Fuck it. I don't need the couch. So someone did a test that there's like really, really minor character

stat differences and stuff. What I was thinking is like, I mean, you can grind time trials, but like it wouldn't help you if you're at online, because you can't swap cart after map's picked, right? Not after it's picked, before. Yes, you can't premeditate a guess. I'm glad you like it so much, because this is the first one that, this is the first, I've been so disappointed,

but Smash is always the same since Melee. It's never gonna be like Melee. And then with Mario Kart, it's been that way for so long. They've had, oh, Kenzo! That's a Melee. It's like it's never going to be like Melee. Yeah. And with Mario Kart, it's been that way for so long. Like they've had oh, Kenzo. That's that's a Melee player. Let's go. Oh, shit. Yeah. Kenzo Logan's all over the leaderboards. Wow. Obviously, all it could be a different Kenzo. It's even the same punctuation.

But yeah, there's a lot of Kenzo's. OK, that's simply different. He's in fifth right there. That's crazy, actually. Yeah, there's a lot of Kinzo's. Yeah, it's a different is in fun fifth right there That's crazy. Actually. Yeah, it's crazy Dude, there's a fucking deal. Maybe DK has a similar stat. I wonder if the Logan is the the really good time trial I think it is That guy's a freak. You guys are freak. He's on like seven different Why don't they just fucking do like creator codes like for tonight make a couple billionaires? I got a clip the other day that that L, before he was famous, was using that other Fortnite

guy, Lachlan? Lachlan was the Australian guy we met, right? Their creator codes were like one letter off. There was like Lachey and Lacey. And before Lacey was famous, he made like 20 bands off people accidentally typing it wrong. That's so funny. That's sick funny That's sick

That's so sick Why there's only game purchases that's why We add that Also you can buy a fucking karambit You can get Mario a karambit I think Mario inspecting his karambit while driving That would be the coolest They put a hamburger in it

Which is the same pretty much The closest thing is before the countdown, you can hump in your car. Oh, that's pretty cool. You've been able to. What kills more people? But the humps are more affectionate now. Oh, the humps and we are aggressive. Oh, are they? Yeah. What kills more Americans, hamburgers or crambits? No, we don't use karambits here.

It's burger burger burger. So that's a fucking they put burger. They got to put rated M on this game. UK is the opposite. I think they do a collab where it's like it's CSGO It's burger burger So that's a fucking They put burger in They gotta put rated M on this game UK is the opposite I think they do a collab Where it's like It's CSGO gets burger

Like a skin for your deagle But it's just a McDouble And it's like You can be like cool Like when Bugs Bunny makes it And then yeah you get M9 bayonets StatTrak burger StatTrak burger. I've taken like a 3,000 bytes, dude.

Oh my god. But yeah, otherwise I've been playing Tears of the Kingdom on my Switch because they upgraded it to actually run like a fucking functional game. Nothing has ever made me feel like such a Nintendo soy cuck as paying $10 to upgrade Breath of the Wild so it runs at like a higher frame rate. You get to upgrade every game for $10? No, only like a select few. But it runs like it should.

What a scam. Before that, it was just it was a joke that it ran that low anyway. So I think I think because like, I think part of the reason why developers are making these like hyper realistic, I don't know if I call Mario Kart hyper realistic, but like more and more high fidelity games is because they need a selling point for the console. Like what other reason is there to upgrade your console besides them gating titles?

Yes. Like you can't play this title on the console. I feel like games have to be like, look, this machine can do something that your machine can't. Yeah, if it's the flagship game. I get it. Everything makes sense. Like everything makes logical sense from where we ended up and why Mario Kart fucking 17, whatever it is, exists. But I do hate it, too. It's just it's just where we ended up and why Mario Kart fucking 17 whatever it is exists, but I do hate it too It's just it's just where we are and I'm like man as someone who watched it all change also you reach like this event Horizon of graphics and you're like, what do we do? We don't need to push

I have this same issue you're having both like NBA 2k How so the NBA 2k is that's all they achieve every year is like they realistic stuff curry more fun yeah, it's not more fun. And in fact, it's most fun is like NBA Street Like the ps2 when you do the game break like yes Because they weren't so like but now it's like high fidelity best graphics possible most realistic Which is like oh, so that's just slow and not fun video game. That's my raw sports games are the more realistic they become, it's... My age-old childhood opinion of, I would just go play the sport is... That's my old man opinion about sports games.

I'd rather just go play it. You're also just going toward the uncanny valley, which makes everything bad. So it's like... It has... It's now capped. Switch 2 will be the final best console we have before society collapse and the great war start. And that's where we are.

You think we're on the precipice of ads on console games? Not main menu ads, that exists already. Like you can go to Valorant and you can get a fucking ad in the menu screen. You know a long time ago I think it was Battlefield, one of the new Battlefields that came out in like 2007 had in-game billboard ads. This was a thing on like an N64 game, no? N64? Well, Battlefield was online, so they could actually change them out.

And it was like, Subway, eat fresh. Oh my God, because Valorant does that, but it's only for Valorant events, which I think is fine. Yeah, that's actually kind of cool. But yeah, I think we've kind of already done that, which is the funny part. Also just in-game, you know. I'm thinking like the way a mobile, bro, what the hell is that about?

Is that Apex? What is that? What the helly? Oh, Battlefield 24, too. Yeah. They've been doing this way earlier, too, which is the funny part. You know what, probably GTA 6 might do it. That's like when you go to Best Buy

and you just see a picture of Zekken. Yeah, right? You're like, what the dog doing? Bro, what the hell you doing here? Get online. I forgot what I was going to say. Something about ads. I don't know. We should...

I was thinking, at what point will console games be like mobile games where you're playing a free game and then an ad full screen pops up and says 15 seconds until you can go back to your game. I don't think we're there yet. But you never know. Because it's always it's just about consumer like tolerance. Yeah, like whatever they're willing to put up with. I feel like it's the it's kind of like a boiling frog thing

where it's it just takes like one YouTube has kind of small ways added in in tiny bits. One company chooses to do it and then it's slowly. What's that got to do with frogs? Like the thing about if, if you drop a frog into a boiling pot, he like fucking jumps out. Like he's burning. But if you put him in like a warm water

and then slowly heat the water over time, he dies. You've tried this? And also, I think it's just the same. And if you put peanut butter on your nuts, it doesn't work with the frog. Yeah, it doesn't. Yeah. It's a dog thing. this if you put peanut butter on your nuts doesn't work with the frog. Yeah It's a dog thing you're gonna see that

I'm like look you want the nuts of the bot You've heard the thing the pot to be hot wouldn't it be crazy if the peanut butter on your ball sing worked on wolves like dire Well, like like actual feral. Yeah, they were just like well, I want butter. Yeah, and like that was how we did it way back That's how we domesticated the wall. That's how we got them That was the original cut of the spongebob episode instead of the salt for the bear was just peanut butter on his balls Yeah, and then he square did it. Yeah, it's like a sponge Bob. It feels so good Looked out for the bear got there. You could probably put flies on your nuts for a frog.

Yeah, but then you gotta put flies on your nuts. How you getting flies on there? You just put shit? You put the peanut butter on first. No, you just cake your nuts and shit. Well, the peanut butter, you don't need the peanut butter. Well, the flies need to stick. And I might as well put the peanut butter on. You know what you do?

Because I already have it on. Is you just walk around like Ludwig when he's over 200 pounds so your nuts already have flies surrounding them and then you go and do where frogs are. The frog will see the stink lines Yeah, so he'll know where to go. I'm lighter than you right now by the way. No you're not. Weight on three. One two three one seventy seven You're like fucking Dalsim you just got your juice only your organs. No man. What are you? I'm 177.

I've been losing weight pretty fast actually. I realize it really is calories in and out. Yeah. No, that sounds dumb. What I actually realized is that you start, I was like I want to lose some weight and then I just started eating hella salads and watching mostly my carbs. And when you realize you're like, this is gonna suck, I'm gonna wanna fuckin' blow my head off,

and you do it for like three days and you're just fine with it. That's what happened to me. I guess I'm normal. I guess I'm fucking normal. I'm not normal. I'm like on month five or something of not having excess sugar. That's crazy.

Yeah, that's a lot. It's a lot. But I've realized when I don't eat sugar, I'm more bored. Like my life is I'm just bored all the time. And I started using my phone more. And I'm like, what is wrong with me? I'm not eating cookies. So I use my phone.

I'm a fucking idiot. I'm like the idiot guy in the Like drinking delivered beer through the mailbox. The phone is the sugar of the mind. Yes. I realize there's a link. Write that down. There's a link. I'm with him.

I've been cutting all processed foods. Scrolling my phone is like waking up to a cookie. Why are you guys all on fucking RFK kicks? I just want to lose weight. I'm getting fatter than ever. I'm just cutting processed foods and I'm just replacing with fruit. And you won't vaccinate your child? Dragon, evil fruit. What is it called? Devil fruit.

What devil fruit? I'm replacing it with devil fruit. Gum gum. Gum gum? You don't need gum gum, motherfucker. Maybe you do. I see you little shit. Christian's also trying to gain weight. Yeah. And he was dirty bulk and I don't know if I told you guys this.

And he was just eating McDonald's. He got too dirty with it. And and I was telling him, I was like, that's not good for you. He's like, no, it's great. Like it's like I'm adding much weight. And I was like, no, but it's bad for you. He's like, no, the macros are fine on it. And I was like, Christian, it's like the salt and the other stuff.

He's like, I've been drinking water. And I was like, that's not how it works. He's like Christian, fucking get huge. Because you're You're getting mugged. Let Christian fucking get huge. No. Because you're scared. He's scared. He's scared. He's scared Christian will get gigantic and actually tackle him. You don't want somebody to step to you.

Here's what happened is he looked it up, and then the next day came back, and he said, yeah, salt's bad for you. It's bad for you. A lot of sodium. And I was like, yeah, man. Yeah, that is true. But also, he already is there.

I went to New Hampshire with him cuz my mom retired Oh, there's like a nice retirement party You're tired god bless your heart yes, what's she gonna do with your time now? That's what everyone asks her it's the annoying question that people ask retirees It's like a big yes, and she don't know she'll figure it out Whoa figure it out she work on my health and wealth yeah She wouldn't do that. Or PSL. She would. Dude, Ludwig's mom in PSL would be sick. My mom has not played a video game since Mario 64.

Damn. She's OG. She played 64 hours. Where's her 70 star time? You should just ask, like, what the time it took for her to get into Wompses. That's as far as she got. You have to jump inside the painting. This is the game.

Oh, this is total. He's pretty quick. I'm just jump inside the painting? This is the game. Oh, this turtle, he's pretty quick. I'm just looking at the painting. I just like looking at it. Meet the folks. Moshean? Why is the man with the big head with red? Is he Italian? Yeah, yeah.

So she's retired. We had a nice retirement party. You know what I realized? Mario could never be French. It never would have took off the way it did. No, no, no, no. It just can't. He had to be Italian. Because if would have took off the way it did. No, no, no, no. It just can't.

He had to be Italian. Because if they took Peach, he would just... Wait, isn't he like, he's canonically, he's like Brooklyn Italian. Yeah. I guess because of the movie, yeah. Because of the fucking show. The movie and the show. They all do make them...

The show. The movie. When Lou Albano was Mario? Chris Proud's Mario is Brooklyn Italian. It's just funny because it's like he just Italians are goofy enough to like be able to jump on little monsters heads But also dignified enough to where you can feel like you should control them Also, there's no way if he was actually Italian he would have that work ethic that he does now. I don't think he'd wear

Where okay? True Games man needs a three-hour lunch He's a whole pasta a lunch he gets tired takes a nap. What do you mean? I gotta fucking take a three hour break Kingdom I'm eating a ricotta I don't think he's Italian cuz he wears a hat And they have such luscious awesome hair until they're dead. Italians wear like ugly old hats. There are no bald Italians. Name one. Leonardo da Vinci was bald.

No, he was intelligent, though. That's different. What the fuck are you talking about? When you're a smart Italian, you're always bald. That's true. That is true. Most Italians are dumb and have older hair. Dumb and beautiful or smart and bald. What about the Pope? This is really smart. Talks to God.

Yeah, that's not a smart angle. I think he grinded it. This is really smart. Talks to God. Yeah, I think he grind it. I don't think he's not mad. He's not mad. No, no, no. He acts like he does. He makes the phone other popes. Some of the go back like four popes. We can find an Italian pope.

Yeah. I guess Tony Soprano is balding. Tony was very smart, but he's not Italian. Oh, he is a super genius. So he leads the mob. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. I work in sanitation and Uncle June too. He's bald, but he's old

Pink polo Italian with a Ferrari hat and really short shorts and that's an Italian man and flip-flops or some shit They're like dress shirt.. We gotta kill that guy. I feel like this is a thing. If you look up Italian polo and hat, it'll come up. Italian polo and hat? This will come up. Show me Italian polo and hat.

Zipper show me the Italian man please. Average. Average Italian man. Just look up Italian polo and hat. That'll work. Man. Man. Man.

Man. Man. Man. Man. Man. Man. work man man man man man man wait these are hype these are kind of cool that one is an Italian stallion on it Italian man with Italian man with dude you're so pathetic chachi beat it can go to church Italians do you do you know what a dumpling pinch is? Like, oh, like the actual dump, the way you close the strategy of how you itch your balls. Oh, you pinch the pinch. You pinch it.

You roll it. There was no name for it, but intuitive thing. Exactly. I found out the name this week is called a dumpling. That's not the name. Who named it? Who told you? Well, I intuitively knew what he was talking about. I think it's a good name. See. But do we need to name this?

Yeah, I feel like this is a good name. Nut grit. Like you're at the you're at the hospital and you have a ruptured you have a ruptured nut sack and the doctor says, well, what? Tell me exactly what happened. If I'm like, well, I was scratching my nuts. He's like scratching. Makes the rupture.

It feels like there's a there's been a twist involved. Doesn't make any sense. But if I say I dumpling pinched it, you know, right. I'm going to turn. Yeah, I pinched it. I know a pinch wouldn't do it. It was a twist involved doesn't make any sense. Yeah, but if I say I dumpling pinched it Oh, right. I'm gonna turn. Yeah pinched it. I pinched it wouldn't do it I rubbed it between my fingers a different type of pinch If you want to say that many words you go ahead, you know, cuz you'll be dead by then I'm gonna say dumpling pinch and go right into surgery. Save your life. Who taught you this? I learned it from Jack Who the hell is Jack? What the fuck is Jack? You have a friend named Jack.

You have friend gumars. I hate when he does this shit. Jack, my friend gumar. He's a friend gumar. Go ahead, what else did Jack fucking do? Did he cornhole you in the asshole? What else did Jack do? Jack mostly taught me about pinching my dumpling. Oh yeah, so he pinched your dumpling for you.

No, no, he gave me... Did he give you 9 inches down your mouth? Did he read this? Oh, yes, so he did. So he pinched your dumpling for you. No, no, he gave me... Did he give you nine inches down your mouth? Oh my Jesus. Okay, this is getting, because Jack is gay, and Jack's boyfriend was at the wedding, so I feel like... He's in a problem here.

Then you have another goomar. Fucking ho. I'm not hoeing around at the wedding. You're hoeing around at the wedding? You're hoeing around at my town? You're hoeing around at my... How do you explain basketball thing? That's not hoeing around.

Yes it is. That's what it actually is. It's a little bit. It's a little bit. But we have to give her options open, don't we? You're close! You're fucking close! You should play. You should play. I want to play with you. I love you the most. I played basketball in New Hampshire and I played against actually

guys who didn't realize it was me then slowly realized it was me. What was the... Because they saw you missed three jumps. You were just playing and then they go what do you do and I was like I was like I just work in LA and then you go like what a weird answer that's just I work in LA that sounds way worse that sounds like you'd like shoot dirty

porn I just work in LA like you're really ashamed I just work in LA because you know there's gonna be a follow-up they're gonna say do it why no there's no follow-up and then they're like all right cool cool we're working in LA and then they're like's gonna be a follow up, they're gonna say doing what? No, there's no follow up. And then they're like alright cool. Cool, we're working in LA. And then they're like you're from here? I was like yeah, I'm from here. You look familiar. You graduate from like dairy?

I was like no. Cause they went to dairy. I was like I went to HB. And then they're like alright cool. And they're like you do YouTube? You say yes, I'm Veritasium. And then I had to win, Aidan. And then I had to win, Aiden. And then I had to win the game. Did you?

You balled out. Yes, I won. I won the first game. And then the second game, it was one point off winning. And I fucking backed this small, powerful man to the rim. And then I turned in and I crushed my knee. And it hurts now. And I fucked up my knee.

And you had to act chill about it. You had to be like, no, I limped off. You'll be fine. I limped off after my game winner. I mean, I will be fine, but it took two months after Cam fucked it the first time. Hey, just messaging, you say, my girlfriend got her vagina filled with cement by accident.

So unlucky me. But I keeping you on my mind in case that it kills her. That's what you're doing to love me. That's what you're doing to me. That's what I'm doing? I wouldn't maybe phrase it equally, but yes. It would have taken me years to come up with that analogy. And you're saying it would have taken monkeys weeks. And I'm in the middle.

I did go to a wedding in Maryland, and before that I went to my brother's graduation on Vancouver Island. And I met my, or not met, but I hung out with my cousins for the first time in a really long time that lived there. And one of them, she's 15, and I haven't seen her in a really long time since she was a little kid. She apparently had shown a friend of hers at school a picture of me and Mr. Beast together

from the podcast we did. And she was like, this is my cousin. And then her friend just, I don't believe you. Like they just like, this is my cousin. And then her friend just I don't believe you. Like they just refused, refused to believe her. That lesbian woman is not your cousin. Mr. Beast only hangs out with poor college students. And because we haven't hung out or taken a picture in so many years, she had no way of proving this.

She's just like, my last name's the same. She thought it was going to be her ticket in. She thought she was going to cruise right to the cool kids table. And then apparently she's never brought it up again because she just can't prove it. Dude, Mr. Beast runs those schools. Yeah. I know. No, I showed my nieces and nephews, Mr. Beast, and they got the pic. Before they even got to school, they started texting their friends like assholes. That's cool. Look at this. Look at what we did. Look at what we did.

Look at what we did. Dude, of course I'm gonna go flex at school if something like that happens to me. Yeah, I just didn't even wait to get to school to flex. They were even like, it wasn't even like, cause I would wait like, what'd you do this weekend? And then I'd be like, oh boy. You know what's funny to think about is like, if it's Lacey, maybe you don't show the people at school that one. Dude, he's gotta think about Lacey. Since, have you noticed this? Yeah people at school that one. Dude, he's got a thing about Lacey. Have you noticed this?

Yeah. Since the Adapt episode? Have you watched a single Lacey video? You do keep talking about me. What? I guess I'm back to the old me. Yeah, you're back to bullying and harassing. I'm not- shut up.

That's verbatim what you're doing. Excuse me? Yeah, your excuse, bullying and harassing. That's- Am I off base? Yeah, you're off base. You harassing. That's uh... Am I off base? Yeah, you're off base. You haven't watched a video! Why would I watch a video?

So it's not based in evidence or proof? All I just said was that Lacey is a less cool thing to show your friends in middle school than Mr. Beast. Dude, you know what I saw in LSF? Lacey got accused of viewbotting on Kit. I saw that. I saw that. Yeah.

So this is... Okay. What? I see where you'reting on Kit. I saw that. I saw that. Yeah. So this is okay. What? I see where you're forming your opinion. I'm talking with my friend. He's using secondary sources. You're kind of a Redditor. I'm a likey Redditor. And then in the thread, people were being like really mean to Lacy and saying that it

makes sense that he bots because his content doesn't make any sense. Now did Livy get Rizzed up at any point during this phase? No. Because I didn't want to report on that. No. Babygrout rips off his mask. It's Lacey. She got in trouble though. Livy's confused.

She got in trouble? She got in trouble. I'll fix it. What happened? She wore an LSU Paul Skeen's jersey and LSU the school reprimanded her because she's not allowed to Tamper with Official school jerseys. What what are they gonna do fucking arrest her? What do you mean you're not allowed to tamper with your school? I don't know it was a weird stance from LSU

That's some that's some fucking old boomer shit That's the type of shit where you're if you're taking action on that at LSU you're you have a made-up job like you should You should probably end it I want to get a spider. Sorry. That's just I have a lot of residual anger from You know, what do you dub do to you? Licensing? Why do people have pride with their college? Why did school become cool in college? What do you mean? In high school, we go, school sucks,

and I hate teachers, and I hate detention. And then we get to college, and everyone's like, I have pride. Because not- I think school's awesome. Don't talk shit on my school. Because I paid five figures. Schools are still cops.

Because I paid five. They are still cops. Schools are just kind of like mall cops. Schools are cops, cops are cops. Landlords are cops? Landlords are cops. And also cops, cops are cops. Landlords are cops. Landlords are cops. And also, colleges do bigger things. So people like being associated with it. You know, like if you went to Alabama, yeah, maybe the education wasn't the best.

But your football team is great. Maybe they only have outhouses and no bathrooms on the campus. This is all true. Also, their football team is phenomenal. They still got a shit in the little in a little pale Sweet home Alabama came on at this wedding and apparently it's a Alabama thing to you Just throw in roll tide in the middle of the song. I learned that this weekend. What line? I think it's during the course of Alabama And then everybody just said, roll tide!

I got an idea. I got an idea. T-shirt. Alabama U. What is it? What's the big one? University of Alabama? Yeah. U of A. And it says, save a horse, ride a lunch lady. U of A. I don't think it's U of A. And on the back there's like a milk and an apple. Now hold on. Is the lunch lady at the college? Yeah, of course. What? There's a cafeteria at the college?

Yeah, but there's not lunch ladies. No, there are, but no. I feel like the slide's a little right. Lunch ladies graduate with us too. They come with. Wait, my lunch lady's got accepted into our group. I feel like the lunch ladies at college are usually other college students that work at the cafeteria. Okay, no, a college Chipotle? That's a lunch lady.

Yeah. That's not a lady. Yeah. That's not a Chipotle employee. College. The college campus Starbucks, they don't make it the same, but the off-campus Starbucks. But the lunch lady Nick's talking about is just a 21-year-old junior at the college. I think lunch ladies. Which maybe is in this context more appropriate than being 14 and sleeping with your lunch

lady in high school. Which God forbid could ever happen to any of us. I think a lunch lady in high school? Which, God forbid, could ever happen to any of us. I think a lunch lady in high school versus college is the same difference from a school bus driver to like a dash driver. What the hell's a dash driver? A public bus driver. A city bus driver.

Well, that's not even a school. So that's just a dumb thing to say. A bus is not a school. Ludwig, you lose a point for that. A city isn't a school. A city is also a school. Sorry, man. I should have tried this guy. I should have tried this guy.

I should have tried this guy. That's my bad. Save a horse, ride a lunch lady, but it's like... Fire, sure. It's a high school team. That's the funny one. Oh, yeah! It's not a college team. Yeah, like a modern day high or something. Yeah. Dude, if I could go back and be a high schooler again like a like modern-day high or something. Yeah

Dude if I could go back and be a high schooler again and also have a screen printer at home I would be rich. I'd be I'd be like a daft making 8k a month T-shirts making t-shirts. Yeah. Yeah, I'm glad you my brain now though. I need my current brain in high school I'm glad you didn't grow up with like drop shipping tools. Oh So I think you'd be in this room right now. Oh, I don't think you'd be so rich, but you didn't grow up with drop shipping tools. Oh, I'd be so rich. I don't think you'd be in this room right now. I don't think you'd be so rich, but you don't hit the trick shot. I don't know. I think that maybe I think I was dead.

I think a predetermined type of thing. Like, I think like, you know, I don't think I had free will to hit that. I think that you were controlled by God. That's actually that was a good exploration. I actually think I have free will now. I think I was on a path towards that moment. That was a good exploration of determining things. I actually think I have free will now. I think I was on a path towards that moment and now I'm in the Donnie Darko like alt timeline where I can kind of control my destiny.

Yeah, yeah, but it's still gonna end with you dying while beating off. Well, it's an unstable timeline. Yeah, of course. So it's gonna explode at some point. You know what was alternate ending? That he beats off and dies? Yeah, he's like beating off at his computer and then he dies. Spoilers at the end.

This is the 90's Darko. And then it's the start of the Robin Williams movie where he walks in and it's his son beating off at his desk, dying. What? I never saw that. What movie is that? It's the movie, I thought we saw it together, no? Robin Williams? Yeah, it's called like Dad of the Year, World's Greatest Dad, maybe.

Definitely not. I would remember that every minute of that. It's his son and he's asphyxiating, self-asphyxiating while beating it. Oh my God. And then he strangles himself to death. Well, now, I don't think that's the world's greatest dad. Well, it's almost like some irony in the title. And Robin Williams has a grapple with being the father who missed this.

Who missed the chance to stop him from beating himself off. Right. That's terrible. No, we did not watch that movie together. That was you and somebody else. Pull over Robin Williams, dad, son, beats himself off. Self-asphyxiate. Rule 34. Whoa, chill, chill. Robin Williams beats off his son, can't breathe.

Some of these words are correct. Just put them together and it'll get there. Robin Williams' awesome dad beats off his son. And then at the end of the day forever You better hope this is a real movie Forever with Drake Oh look at that World's greatest dad There it is

Do you knock? Is this like a short film? No this is a full length feature film I don't wanna see that's too sad And this is Robin Williams Oh my god I'm not looking That's what I would say

Oh he's alive Oh that's bro from Spy Kids! That's Juni! Juni's beating off? Look, that's him! Juni beats? My god, I knew the Spy Kids universe probably did something bad. What a dangerous way to beat off. Yeah.

I mean, I guess that's a part of the movie's message to us. I told you guys there's a kid in my school who died that way. Really? Yeah. Whoa, that's crazy. They made a movie about him and his dad was Robin Williams. Can you die when you do it on the x-axis like that? Yeah, I think because you just fall forward and I think I feel like you the whole way to your body.

The issue that I've heard not from experience is that that people will put on like a belt around their neck, but then they'll start choking and they're not able to get the belt off in time. And I would imagine what could happen as you pass out and then you start leaning forward. Oh, and you don't get away. And then you're done with one final nut. But the nut probably feels awesome.

Yeah, that's the whole goal of it. Almost as sure I'm trying to live it right now. Will my mentally get there? OK, that was that was the end of Donnie Darko, but they changed it. That is a coward. Yeah, that is scared. I remember I kept thinking back after you hit the trickshot is like all those nights where I would see Nick at fucking 3am and the piggy PC just like fucking doing some making it say Red Bull presents PSL.

Now guess what I made Facebook bitch. I know. All those nights in my dorm. You made Facebook. I also made Facebook this week. What happened this week? I tweeted out uh something I was I forget even I was oh yeah are there any real eaters that just power through the Ozempic? And it hit normie Twitter, and now they put it on Facebook, like on a picture of a cheeseburger. Isn't that funny? Yeah, it's happening too.

I've seen the subreddit to Xbox 360 Summer. That's what I was gonna say, you reminded me. I thought you meant like the Ozempic subreddit. I have an answer too. I have a business proposition for you. You ready? Yeah, please. Okay, so I've been tweeting for a while,

it's an Xbox 360 summer and it just crickets on the timeline. It's my lowest liked tweets. And then I hit the trick shot and all of a sudden people were going back, they're looking at my Twitter, they're seeing it's an Xbox 360 summer, they're going, oh, I didn't realize the vibes were real. They're retweeting it.

I've gotten at least 200 DMs of pictures of 360s that have just been purchased. People saying, I went out and got mine. It's an Xbox 360 summer. Now, I play COD 4 and Mario 2 probably, like right now, like most nights, I'll queue at like eight, nine p.m. There's always someone in my game

that has yard in the clan tag, or PSL in the clan tag, or like something. There's people online. These silvers are filling up. But you're about to put out a video. You throw in one hashtag in that video that says Xbox360 summer, and we're going to change the world Ludwig. We're talking Twitch 2, high fidelity.

This problem, we can fight. We can fight. You put one hashtag over a black screen. You put hashtag Xbox360 summer. End of the video. I don't even care. The question, Nick, motherfucker, do you have hashtag in a Ludwig video? Call me to.

Hmm. Oh, you're you're calling me to call me to. That's Chek Driesle's first name. You think he's a wife say it with the check. Do I think it's a week at 136? I'm a good friend. I'd say it like, you know, I'm live in the yard. Oh Don't say oh, what do you mean? Oh, like you're not gonna watch this shit Wait, what are you doing? I was like, why the fuck you play music? What's up? Okay. I you're editing the PSL video. Yeah

Nick has a request from you Okay, you want me to make it? Okay. Nick has a request from you. Okay. You want me to make it? Please. Okay, hey, shake. Driz? Hey, Nick. Hey, you know me.

I'm always putting you on, giving you free shows at the PSL. Buy free, I mean, I don't pay you. Exposure. But it's exposure, obviously. Yeah, it's like 10 barriers to get to the list. PSL stock is really high, right? And you know how that's good for you. Yeah, yeah, the house DJ. This is all making sense. Okay, how that's good for you. Yeah, yeah the house DJ.

This is all making sense. Okay, so it's an Xbox 360 summer I think you know that. You've probably seen the tweets. Yeah it's going viral. If you put hashtag Xbox 360 summer as a screen in that video, think about how big PSL would get. And then think about how big it is. Do I even need to say it?

Driz DJ PSL. All right. I could use like more people dancing for sure. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. You need one person, bro. Okay. Okay. See, that's your boss who said that.

That's my bad. That's your boss. But if you ever want to have maybe a safety net somewhere you can jump to, you sneak in Xbox 360 Summer with a hashtag, and you put it in the video, and we make the summer the greatest we've ever had, Shag. I'm doing it right now. All I ask is I get an Xbox so I can join.

Deal. Wow. That's great. I pay him so much. You can just buy it. That's so cheap. All right. That's shit, bro. Good deal. All right, see you soon, bro. Damn, Andy hung up. deal Wow that's great I pay him so much you can just buy it that's all right good deal all right see you soon bro damn any hung up you know it's funny you could have squoze him for a check huh I would do that's my friend mm-hmm

why not cuz I don't squeeze my friends for check squeeze him for a check I'll squeeze my friends for checks bro what if someone called you up is like put this hashtag in your video I pay $100 to talk to you about One Piece Man. You don't get me, bro. Can I ask you a question? What happens when summer ends? I don't even want to think about that. It might be a big group suicide. What?

It might be like, my next tweet is going to be like, now drink your Kool-Aid. It's like a Disney Channel movie where summer never ends. It's like the movie ends when summer's over. Yeah. Oh, OK. But the implication is that it wasn't just summer. It's actually going to be the rest of our lives. Because Xbox 360 Autumn doesn't really have the ring to it.

Well, we have the big, we should do a big finale at Fast 52. Like a rematch? We could get a rematch going. That's hype. We'll go rematch going. Oh, that's hype. We'll go get the pyramid. The Luxor cocksucker. Oh, I'll be to get the fucking. Fifty two.

Fifty two here. Yeah, not at the Luxor. I guess we're doing it somewhere else. But yeah, maybe we do at the Luxor. Maybe do the sphere. Bucket. Let's play on the sphere. That's what I was going to say. On the outside. That would be so miserable.

Yeah. Those are playing from helicopters. That would be pretty much the coolest shit ever. Mr. Beast could get this done. He could have got it done and he would have the worst gameplay of all time. Oh right. Because he'd want to play. Do you think that he could hire enough people to become one of the greatest?

Or do you think he doesn't have that dog in him? Like could he learn to be the greatest if he hired coaches and stuff? Yeah, he put like a million dollars into his coaching. Or, more. Yeah. I think he would just have to be obsessed. I don't know if he'd ever be the grrrr... He'd be very good.

Ugh, I just, I think I fucking natty him. No training, I think I just, no matter what he does... No training? You have to believe in shit like this. I do, but also even mango practices. Mango practices. You know what I'm saying? He's mango, dude.

That's different than Mr. Beast. Yeah. Golden Glove Jimmy? Yeah. Mango probably believes he could be Mr. Beast. He was actually low-key, he actually could have gone pro. In what? He was good at baseball.

Baseball? Mr. Beast. Mr. Ellis. I forget. No, I don't think so. But he had good as baseball stats. Riff Raff says he almost played for the Toronto Raptors. I can believe that. He said he said in a lyric, he said, the way I ball should have played for Toronto Raptors. And then someone interviewed him and said, what's that about? He's like, yeah, I was at the tryouts.

Oh, but like I was at Genesis. That's Diffie, I think. Is it? You got to, I was at the tryouts. Oh, oh, but like I was at Genesis. Yeah, that's Diffie, I think. Is it you got to be selected to hit the tryouts? Sometimes he's playing college ball and then he realized I could actually just do candy paint jobs a lot better. Yeah. Also sell CDs at the mall. How tall is he? Riff Raff? Yeah. Zipper Google.

My guess is six, three. Yeah, six. Yeah. Six, three, maybe six, four. That's OK. I hope you like David Evito on that court. Six, three. It's crazy that six, three is short in the NBA. He's six, two. It's not that.

That's tough, bro. Wait, riff raff basketball. Give me that Google. I think average NBA height six, six. It's crazy. That's wild. Average? Yeah, man.

You want to hear some fucked up shit? If you're seven feet tall. Jody Buckets. Riff raff can hoop for real jody buckets That's awesome from the hoop diamonds YouTube page. I think he did a lot of bad shit if I remember, but he's pretty awesome Minus the stuff whatever he did I don't remember what it is you just replace that with any bad what we got oh Behind the back pass don't give me a replay What do we got? Oh behind the back pass don't give me a replay

What splash oh That's from three. He's down the Robbie pro He was he was on this like gaining weight arc where he was like trying to get really big and muscular and he ate He was eating like 5,000 calories a day Yeah, he said put on 50 pounds like that damn Sammy Sosa did it cut cuz the ball didn't go in Amazing highlight Sammy Sosa. Did it cut because the ball didn't go in? Yeah, it just didn't go in. It's an amazing highlight. Yeah. Dude, it reminds me of like, if you ever watch Flight, watch his highlights.

Wait, that was a highlight? Cause he dribbled behind his back. Click back arrow. No, this is like Flight looking at his own highlights. Does he do that? Flight looks at his own highlights. How is that a highlight? He'll do like a replay with like the iMovie replay thing.

And he'll narrate it and be like watch it again Look at the move behind the back here. He'll slow down every single Yeah, he's awesome. And he'll laugh like a dolphin. Yeah, if you're over seven feet tall an American. Yeah, and a man. Yeah There's a 17% chance You become a professional basketball player in the NBA 17% is so high. So high. Is that just like everyone who's over seven feet divided by the number of people who are that in the NBA?

Yeah. Whoa. Yeah, 17% of them. Crazy. That's wild. It's wild. Basketball is no skill, I think. That's true.

No skill at all. Some of us, when we play, we just don't try. You have a 20% chance of joining the NBA if you can do the, You can't reach this thing. Yeah. You can hold their head and be like, you can't get the ball. Yeah. And I can dunk without jumping. I mean, I think that's why people are fans of the shorter, more technical players like Kyrie Irving instead of Rudy Gobert.

Mm. Rudy Gobert. The Rudy Gobert is the hunger box. That's fire. That's pretty awesome. I like that. What did I say? Go Baron. Go Baron. You were like, go Baron. Go Baron. Go Baron. You did that on accident? Yeah, that's crazy. You are it. I woke up. You're a special genius. I woke up late.

Dude, New Hampshire changed. How did it change? Drastically. Three points lighter without you around? Three point slider for sure. Three point slider. They have more ethnic people. Oh, okay. Is that what you're about to gripe about?

No. Oh. It would be something he'd say, huh? Yeah. I do, but I wasn't going to bring it up. To be clear. And so what do you think we should do about this problem? No, no, no. The actual issue is

there are casinos everywhere. Really? Everywhere. It's lit. Aren't those those like busted ass ones though, where it's like a hundred dollar max and shit? They used to have a law that was the max bet was four dollars. And so there would be casinos at like the boardwalk as like, you know Mostly a bar but they have like games you can bet a lot like Mississippi stud It's a game where you can bet up to like nine times

No, okay four dollars goes a little deeper as opposed to like blackjack. No one's playing four dollar blackjack Right. Not a lot of people like to play it at least They change the law. They upped it to 50. Oh And then the casinos just started fucking breaking the law. They upped it to 50. Uh oh. And then the casinos just started fucking breaking the law. So what they did is you can play blackjack, it's a $50 max bet. But they have four places you can bet. Oh my God, you can max bet all of them? And you can max bet all of them and it's just one hand still.

So are they acting like it's multiple seats at the table, but really it's not? No, no, no. It's not even like... You're just making four wagers on one outcome. Yes. You're just... It's making four wagers on one outcome. You're just, it's four separate wagers on one outcome and each is individual, so you get not one bet. It is one bet. Casinos are really good at doing this.

I've said this before, but in Los Angeles casinos, there's just a person sitting there who has literally a hundred K and chips and you're playing against them technically. You're not allowed to play against an establishment. You're allowed to play against other players. So you're playing against someone just sitting there just handing out chips. It is totally skirting.

I think the like the goal of the law and now it's just $200 max bet. And there's no limit necessarily. You can just keep adding spot if you wanted. They could they could add 10 spots if they really wanted. Yeah, and it's up to the New Hampshire legal team to crack down on this if they want. But you know what? They get paid.

Well, yeah, and also live free or die. Live free or die. Zippor, can you look up The Nash? Live free or die, up to $50. The old mall that I used to go to, Fesson Lane Mall, it was a regular-ass mall. I was driving around it. Every single store is empty.

The casino's in the mall. The parking lot for the casino was packed. I had to park at Buffalo Wild Wings and walk over. That's all anyone does in New Hampshire anymore. Go to images. That's all anyone does in New Hampshire anymore is they just fucking gamble. God, you should have got a piece of this. Wait, this was a mall?

This was like a Sears at the mall and they've basically taken over. The Buffalo Wild Wings looks immaculate. It's beautiful. Buffalo Wild Wings closes before the Nash does. I'd say that much. But this place is insane. Yeah, this is cool. It's a really cool logo. And there's like fucking dozens of little casinos. Punching my waiter in the face at B-Dub's because my 10 leg

Harley didn't hit. It didn't used to be like this. Like these are new casinos. They just get more traffic. When I was a kid, there was new casinos. Are they just getting more traffic than they used to? When I was a kid, there was no casinos. Yeah, it would be sick to put your sports bed in over at the Nash and then just walk to B-Dub's and watch the result. Yeah, and then you beat the shit out of whoever's an eye shot

because the Steelers. And I'm doing the Hot Wing Challenge over at B-Dub's at the same time. I think we're going full Australia as a country. What does that mean? We don't have any health care that isn't gated by payment. I mean, if you look, the average Australian gambles like twice as much as the second country in casino. They just get they gamble way more than any other country.

We're not that degen yet. I think we're getting there. We're good. Well, we'll never truly have it as a country because we have states and states are different And there's 50 of them. Yeah, but I created market capitalism for laws I think the sports books have fucking cracked this 72% Australian adults gambled within the previous 12 months and the average Australian gambles $900. Maybe they're just gambling every time they leave their house

I've seen those spiders and those gators. They gamble their lives. Maybe. And the UV. They're gambling with the hole in the ozone layer. Yeah. Yeah, I think I look I think we're going down this path. Because you know what I did? I did something sick.

I was watching the Pacers and I've been ruined for. Don't. What? No, just. What more? I've just. What about you just predicting world events? Well, hold on. Wait, you've been watching the Pacers?

I've been watching the Pacers. Do they have a Japanese player? They don't. Okay, so you really like basketball now. That's crazy. That's cool. I'm happy for you. But I was like, I was waiting for this game to come on

and right before it does, I check Robinhood. Just to see the old account. Just perusing. Yeah, your Palantir stock. And I'm checking my Palantir stock in my Lockheed Martin. And I went score big things happening in Iran. Yeah. Oh, they just launched a new product.

And then I scrolled down a bit and they have they have sports betting on Robin Hood. Well, I think it's called betting futures. And they have sports betting on Robin Hood. What? Yeah, it's called betting futures. Come on! You bet futures on the results of the NBA Finals. And there's maybe a point spread. Yes!

Based off the market, you could get 2-1 odds for the Pacers to win. And it's different than a bet because you can technically sell at any point based off the value the market perce Pacers to win. And it's different than a bet, because you can technically sell at any point based off the value the market perceives it to be. And you could like, you could take a bunch of the futures on the NBA finals and like package them together to like diversify the risk. Yeah, they are sort of a parlayed. They're gonna go this route.

But I'm telling you like, that's what I mean when it's like, I don't think it's like up to the States anymore. Lud, do you want to be a billionaire? Yeah, please. I have a billion dollar idea. I would love to hear it. Wow, he never starts, he never says B. That's a hundred of his normal ideas.

We're gonna make an app, we're gonna call it Penis Bets. I'm gonna put that right out right now. Penis Bets? We're going with Penis Bets, okay? And what we're gonna do is we're gonna start streaming PSL and you can bet on the outcome. And guess what? Insider info, just you and me, we're throwing matches.

It's all fucking fixed. It's all f***ing fixed! It's all fixed and we're gonna make a billion dollars. Because of Xbox 360 Summer. I've already been doing this in Tier 2 Valorant, so this is just... Dude, yeah, look. What are we getting $500 for a thrown game? That's disgusting. You get great odds if you bet on the Pacers tonight. This is... is encouraging us.

This is bad. I know it's bad. I know it's bad. I'm telling you, this is an epidemic. But you're participating. Huh? But you're participating? Yeah, because I'm weak. Yeah, that's cool.

I'm weak. I'm weak-willed. I love gambling. And the only thing that stops you from gambling is that it's hard to gamble. It's so funny, dude. I don't get, I just, there's no reason for me to gamble anymore every time I gambled I was like I'm gonna hit it big and then I'll get all the things I want But I have all the things I want now. I go play poker with miles. I just hang out like I'll play some shit

I'm not trying. I'm not sweating over pots. We're not the same. It's I guess we're not I still like I'm the degenerate guy I'm a hundred K down lifetime. I mean, you know what I'm saying? Like damn It's more, right? Probably 100k. I've done some some napkin math, but you know, I haven't fucking. I want to go to Vegas. Can we go to Vegas? Yeah, I need to go. It'll be fun. What I'm saying is it doesn't get my dick

hard the way it used to, but your dick is just like fucking freaking out every time you get a whiff of the Pacers. It's like you want it to be on Robin Hood. I guess I actually kind of want to online gamble and I always have. OK, when I watched Trane do it, I wanted to do it, too. Well, Trane was just a legendary stream. I would hold myself and I'd say I'm not going to make a SIG account.

I'm not going to get a VPN. It's too much effort. Not going to fucking put it into crypto and then cash. So it was the effort which stopped me the layers of friction, but now the layers of friction are it's literally the app that I have. And it's right. It's the app that I have and the money's in the app Aiden. I know.

The money's in the app. It's right there. All his Palantir profits go right into Indiana. I could sell all my Palantir stock, which is 90% of it. Auto should make you an extension for like your chase app and you just do it right in the first app. Dude, ew. Yeah, just fuck it.

Ew. Just direct deposit to the bet. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Or maybe your direct deposit that goes to your account just goes like straight to the casino. You never even get the money. God, that'd be so sick. I think, I dead-ass think.

We should make a, you know how some people have companies where, okay, so like you get your paycheck early because you're like paying a little bit of your paycheck as a fee. Have you seen those companies? Yeah. So we make an app like that except 30% of every single paycheck just goes to the casino. Dude, well you bet on it. Well the casino is where it ends up eventually. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But we give them the illusion that they're betting on some sort of. Yeah, I like that. We are we are experts and we're going to put it on. It's almost like stocks. Let's get in touch with Grayson. OK, I got it. Yeah, it's like Acorn. OK, it's like Acorn.

But a casino. It's like one of those apps that rounds up that dollar of every purchase you make. And then at the end of the month month you get to put it all on on on any game so you get to pick do you want roulette do you want blackjack I don't I literally I don't think we should air this I think we should do it if you guys want to make a bunch of money we shouldn't leak this because you already know that someone out there is probably an awesome engineer like it was the pennies anyway it was just the pennies anyway. It was just the pennies anyway. It was just the pennies anyway. It rounded up to 300 after the month. Yeah, I'll have an aggressive portfolio. Dude, I remember reading the old Bitcoin forums.

I used to read them a lot because I was all curious. Back in Bitcoin, it was like $500 or something before it like exploded. And there were people talking about like rationalizing in seven paragraphs. Like, yeah, I lost 7,000 on Bitcoin, but if I lost it and I'm still here and I'm still alive, it doesn't mean I really lost anything. Do that. It was like, yeah, real shit. And then I was like, I'm going to lose 7,000 on Bitcoin.

And then I was like, I'm going to lose 7,000 on Bitcoin. And then I was like, I'm going to lose 7,000 on Bitcoin. And then I was like, I'm going to lose 7,000 on Bitcoin. And then I was like, I'm going to lose 7,000 on Bitcoin. And then I was like, I'm going to lose 7,000 on Bitcoin. And then I was like, I'm going to lose 7,000 on Bitcoin. And then I was like, I'm going to lose 7,000 on Bitcoin. And then I was like, I'm going to lose 7,000 on Bitcoin.

And then I was like, I'm going to lose 7,000 on Bitcoin. And then I was like, I'm going to lose 7,000 on Bitcoin. And then I was like, I'm going to lose 7,000 on Bitcoin. And then I was like, I'm going to lose 7,000 on Bitcoin. And then I was like, I'm going to lose 7,000 on Bitcoin. And then I was like, I lost seven thousand on Bitcoin But if I lost it and I'm still here and I'm still alive, it doesn't mean I really lost anything Do that. We had the pie-got table? Yeah, real shit. And these people are typing this shit out like they're the first person ever to rationalize like a gambling loss But it just reminded me that also those old trading streams. Train, there was these crazy like He would he would talk about like this arcane knowledge He's like yeah, you got to get on the Iceland VPN IP address.

And he's also like, I don't want to switch off this slot right now. I'm too deep in the seed. Yeah, I'm too deep in the BTC seed. I'm not going to switch to a theory. Like it's a war zone server with the worst players. It's actually real. Yeah, it's like it's just real gambler shit because you, gamblers are superstitious, and you take every single thing. No, it's not even superstitious. They've like, cracked the back end of the slots and discovered that there are seeds, and that it's supposed to max win in like, a hundred thousand spins.

Yeah, but that's just, what do you call it, gambler's fallacy. No, but like, it literally will pay out within a hundred thousand spins at least one max win and by max win I don't mean like the highest amount you can make like the free bets like the free rolls or whatever like the fucking fun time Yeah, yeah, and so what people do sometimes they'll sell or buy the seed. Yeah, they'll buy the seed Yes, lots do that in Vegas to the the ones that have to hit a progressive. Yeah, but yeah It was always fun listening to his like 36 hours like 36th hour being live, just talking about the seed and how he needs to change his VPN IP address right now. How many streams no more does he? I don't know. Well, it was weirdly enough when he went to kick, I just never watched him again. It's just layers of friction.

There's nothing I really... There's just other shit. Of course, you're high. Yeah. What if we take what if we what if we got someone smart to figure out all the computer technical stuff? I'm here. We got a Minecraft map and we made it like fucking like a hundred times bigger. Like it's so much bigger and deeper. It's crazy. And all the diamonds replaced with Bitcoin and you have to physically go find it. And you can't cheat. So you got to just dig and you're mining for Bitcoin.

But somehow the hardware of your computer is like actually mining for Bitcoin so it like actually works. You know I'm saying Do we get a piece of this? If you find the fucking diamond Where's our piece of it? We made the game so we're already living in Turkey I think it's that we're embedding a Bitcoin miner into this Minecraft So your CPUs for your GPUs running like fucking crazy No your computer's screaming

It's doing like a train whistle. But you're getting points. It's like the bear in, what's that, Annihilation? Dude, I remember when Ethereum came out, remember Video Waffles just put together a PC, put it in his closet and just started mining it? Yeah, fuck it. And it just like- I wish that was me back then.

That was so sick. Dude, I called my uncle and he used to mine Bitcoin and I was talking about it and he was like, I actually sold a good chunk of it when it hit 100k. I was like, good on ya. But he had mined like for 10 years and he had mined a total of like 20 Bitcoin Whoa over the course of 10 years and sold it at various points And I was like yeah I was smart of you and then he's like do you want to know why I originally started mining? I was like yeah why he's like I wanted to find a way to keep my garage warm because he lives in Sweden

Oh my god, so he just put you have geniuses in your family you've never told us this yeah yeah yeah he's not a genius he because I'm genius a lot of space heater and yeah and then I would probably give him 20 big boy yeah he wanted he wanted to get a heater that paid for itself that is so he might be clearly genius heated it up and then I paid for the heater for it. It easily paid for it. Well obviously because it got insane. It would have paid for it.

I mean if at the rate it was selling at it would have paid for it because it wasn't like you needed tens of dollars. Indiecoin now is crazy amount of money right? Yeah. Each is like a hundred K right? Crypto is so fucking cringe. Everyone who likes crypto is so fucking cringe. Our apps. We have so many app ideas right cringe. Let's get your awesome uncle. Everyone who likes crypto is so fucking cringe. Our apps.

Huh? We have so many app ideas right now. Let's get your uncle in. Your rich uncle? Let's give him like a weird problem. I want to marry that motherfucker. Let's make him kind of cold again. He's hungry.

Svensk uncle. And he'll think of a good solution. He's my Svensk uncle. We need to take all of, alright here's what we're gonna do. We're gonna go to Ludwig's uncle. We're gonna steal all his clothes. Naked uncle. Off.

Naked uncle. He gets cold. Nunkle. He gets cold. We put him in the garage, we tie him up. Car battery to the nipples, we're not gonna use it. It's just for intimidation. And we say, come up with an idea now, Savae. I don't really say come up with an idea. We just go, you're fucking cold,

and you're in a garage now, and we lock the door. And he's probably, with his mind moving like a million miles per second, he's probably gonna be like, I should probably cure cancer, and I should probably, that'll keep me warm. And he'll invent like a new type of We give him a whiteboard and that's it. Yeah, we give him a whiteboard and we give him Maybe like we give him some sir Stroman. He like you can listen to like Neil deGrasse Tyson's podcast

It's like putting the headphones to the baby Yeah, let's get your naked uncle in here I I need to fucking pick his brain and pinch his dumplings. Yeah, and pinch his dumplings. You ever think the smartest person in the world's wasting their life playing Fortnite? Yeah. Just a fucking mega genius. The smartest person in the world is wasting their life making like an emulator that runs one percent faster for Neo Geo. There are too many niche hobbies now, so we're not building rocket ships.

It's just the case. Do we mean Kurtis Smartest or the person with the brain capable of becoming the smartest easily? Probably that. That one? Yeah, they're definitely wasting their time. Yeah, they're probably watching One Piece actually is what I think. I think they're just a quant. What the fuck did you just call me? Are you allowed to say that? I will clothesline you sorry

It might have it we might be learning a lesson like slimed in a few weeks ago on that one What is quant? Like quantitative like they'd like a yeah quantitative. It's like a it's kind of like an account or some shit I work you work in finance and you Add like a hedge fund and then you do complicated math to like draw parallels between crazy factors that business majors illuminate illuminates the Delta To create to create profit for your hedge fund

So we're gonna be illuminating the Delta So we're gonna need a big investment Dude when I was a little kid I thought that it was pronounced Pachyna. Mm-hmm. You guys ever... It's like vagina was... Yeah. Until middle school, I thought it was Pachyna.

A lot of people, I've heard a lot of situations where kids said Pajyna. I remember growing up. You have those conversations a lot? Yeah, about the Pajyna. I recall. And they didn't go, it's actually vagina. And did you well, actually, those kids? I don't think I had the knowledge to well, actually, about vaginas.

So you yes, and in the vagina. Yeah, I think I just dug into that. I thought about that the other day. I was like, I thought babies used to get made by rubbing two penises together. That was like my best guess. That's why you became bisexual. You're like, I want kids. Being gay is not a choice.

You were. I thought every man had a free will in that decision. You all got penises? So my gangster ass as a kid, I intuited that the P hole was a different hole. From the woman? I natty knew that. That's crazy.

I natty knew. Someone told me that and I was like, yeah, what do you mean? Duh. That's I think you're lying. I'm not lying. You're straight up But still I was like 13 This is your golden glove Marquez. Yes. This is why I just I was just like well, yeah, duh I don't know if I believe him. I don't know. I just can't well You've never just kind of you never never just kinda felt something off a vibe. Let's get the car battery.

My vibe was that it's called Pachyna and it's terrifying. And I have nothing more to say about that. I have Super Smash Brothers to play. Yeah. Once- I've already said this, but one time I played the word come in Boggle vs. my mom. I shouldn't have done that. I'm so embarrassed about it, cause she was like, you know what that is? And I was like, no.

And then she had to explain it to me. And I was like, this is really embarrassing. Did your mom ever give you the talk? Your French ass mom? No, I think she vaguely said use condoms. But she, well, she never used protection. She never talked to you about sex and what it was? Or did she just give you a pack of cigarettes?

Yeah, no, she said, smoke one of these after. It's going to be the best night of your life. You're going to enjoy it very much. My mom said wear protection. I had dumb ass went in with a gun. All right. Yeah, my stupid ass went in with a switch. Just undressing, loading a gun.

You're like, I really like you, by the way. So where do I put it? Because honestly, I'm scared of it. My mom My stupid ass when it was undressing, loading a gun. I really like you. So where do I put it? Because honestly, I'm scared of it. My mom told me to bring it. I don't think I ever got the talk. My mom, once she was like, do you know how babies are made? And I was like, yep. And she was like, OK, great, we don't have to.

Yeah, she was excited. I think my mom expected my dad to do it, and my dad expected to get away with thinking, my mom thinking he did do it. So it was kind of a stalemate where she, he probably at one point told her, oh yeah, I talked to him about it. And then I just found out on YouTube or something. Yeah, from that one video with it,

put the camera in that woman's butt shot. Oh yeah. Did you get to talk? Yeah, in fifth grade because because I there was a book. Your dad's got a Ken and a Barbie. He's like, important. One's Barbie. And he's lifting up another Ken. It won't work if there's two Kens.

It doesn't work the other way. We've tried. And you might be curious. No, I got like a there was a book in the library at school in fifth grade And I it was about puberty and in sex and it just it had kind of everything in it Just explaining like, you know adolescents, I guess and I remember reading it I took it out and I was reading it during I don't know reading time in a class and There's naked people in it and someone else in the class like one of the girls got Upset and said you shouldn't be reading that here, and I was like uh I don't know it's in the library

Such an aiden answer and then it's in the library. It's facts though. I can read it. It's facts. They put it in school It's also this excuse my language narc bitch. Yeah,'s trying to stop my man from looking at some titties. From beating in the public school. In the illustrated book. This is out of private school. This is when I went to private school for a year and a half. I didn't know you went to private school for a year and a half. Only for half of fourth grade and for fifth grade.

Oh, so wait, so at the end of half or the start? The second half of fourth grade, I think. So like you got pulled out of private school? I got pulled out of pubby school and put in What happened? That can't be random. Nothing happened. It was just a good,

I think my parents just thought it was a good school. They were just like, fuck it, switch servers? Yeah, and they switched my server. You said new server sucks? And then new server was, I mean, fine until they took my booby book away. And then And that's how you learned?

And then it got pulled, the teacher took it, but she seemed like, she didn't seem mad. It was very strange. And then my mom, I had a meet with the teacher and my mom at the end of the day. And then that night, my dad was, my dad would be gone like for work. And my mom gave me the talk that night, like, and kind of like went through the book with me, which was clearly even really awkward for her. And I remember one thing when she was explaining the part where, you know,

a man and a woman make a baby and she was explaining like they get naked and then. And I was like, why do they have to get like, why would the woman get naked? You don't need to take your shirt off. I remember asking that. Oh, my God. And then later in your life, you would get scabies or get shingles and keep your shirt on to prevent it from getting on somebody else.

And then tell the partner, well, you don't need to take your shirt off. That is full circle. That is insane. It's really full circle. I hadn't really made that connection yet. Wow. Yeah, why can't she just bend over

and then the man just unbits his pants? I do feel like the birds and the bees is a difficult talk. We need like an up in the air movie with George Clooney, but he goes to different kids' homes to tell them about. I think I'd clutch that if I got the talk. That's what I'm saying. Like I think frame one, you show me a vagina, I'm like, the alphabet would probably work.

Just give me the first sentence. I'm your kid now. I'm, so you're my kid? You're my father, you're explaining it to me. And this is the mother who's really shy. Are you dressed like that? He's my little he's what are you doing older brother? What are you doing? Give me a little bit. I was just in your room in my room self-asphyxiating jerking off I heard you come in and I switch to one piece. I'll touch okay, and I come in oh Monkey D Luffy, okay

So I'm gonna so the rest of our lives I'm gonna act like that didn't happen. Okay. Okay, and we're gonna go back and I'm just gonna I'm just gonna be your stepdad. Okay. Okay. I'm your dad, right? You're my dad dad. Okay I'm just gonna be your stepdad. You don't think of that. I wanted you to call me dad You don't call me dad anymore. I'm just stepdad. Okay. All right, but what are you? What were you watching out of curiosity? I was watching One Piece. You're what? I come over as you I sit over on the bed with you I sit down I look and I'm looking and we're looking at tell me it's right to describe your porn

One piece rule 34. Okay, it's just Nami, but she's in Zoan bunny form cuz she ate a Zoan devil fruit. So now as a concerned father I'm saying this and wasn't my inner dialogue. Oh my god! Zipper! I'm like, I'm method, I'm not method I guess. You're not. I'm not method. You couldn't handle the- I couldn't, no no no. I'm drooling at the screen. Okay so I now, I just learned about cartoon porn because I'm an old school dad, I was beaten off to playboys. Hubbubbub't you know that there's like real naked girls on the internet right? No Nami's real it's a Zoan form so it makes her into a bunny but she's a real person normally. It's just a devil for you. Let's check this out we're gonna look at something that's gonna be informative to you.

I google hardcore girl on girl. I covered in oil in like a kiddie pool. And then pull it up. It's on screen. Why are you looking at me? Son, look at the screen. Don't look at your father, look at the screen. I'm looking at it.

So you're saying you would clutch this by pulling up hardcore girl on girl? No, I didn't touch that. This is one of those whole middle-aged kids. Birds and the bees showing two girls in a fucking blow up suburb. You're so horrible. You get a zero out of 10.

Every boy learns that girls kiss before they learn how babies are made. What Jason the Weasel is scissoring. There's layers. There's layers. You gotta learn how awesome it is that sometimes girls kiss and you can be like, okay, wait, I'm sexually awakened. I get that now. And then we talk about how you use your penis. I think the first pornography I ever watched was.

A secure lesbian video was the first thing I ever watched. Interesting trying to say, yeah, I think because when you're a kid, you see porn, you're like, well, I don't want there to be a boy. I think I want to see a well, I don't know, maybe. But well, no, no, Nick, I had that thought. I did have that thought. It's like, I don't know if I liked the no boys. It seems good without the and then as time went by I was like it's actually great when there's all boys

No, but to be clear what I said I would clutch is getting the talk If I was a kid, you're oh, yeah. I would clutch a getting... I said, if anyone I see a vagina, I'm like, yeah, the alphabet would work on that. Yeah, this is over. What do you mean? This will never happen. You either clutched or didn't. I'm saying if I had the talk, I would have clutched you.

I think, yeah, okay. I didn't get the talk. I think the harder thing is for the parent. I think I clutched the talk as a parent. It's hard as a kid too. Because that's what I thought you were both saying. You're burning up red inside. You're like, oh my god, they're showing me

Pachinas and my dad hasn't been home in like a year. So we're not even talking about that. Aiden, you said you clutch as a parent. Let's really start. You're the parent now. You're still the mother. Dinner's ready. Shut up.

I got to do that thing. I got to do that thing. I have homework for 30 seconds. I'm knocking on the door. Okay. Yeah I'm knocking on the door. Oh one second! One second! Wait! Wait, which one's who's who? I'm the kid. I thought he was the mom. He's the mom. He's the dad. He's the dad. He's the dad now. Okay. I'm your cool uncle. And you're the naked uncle. And you're the dad. You open the door yet? I open the door. I open the door, I open the door.

I have my one piece jammies on, I'm clearly erect. Oh, love wait, why are you- you're pitching a tam right now? Oh, I'm trying to talk to you. Your uncle's here. Fake it out. What a hog. Nick, Nick, he's-

You're saying my gay ass brother made that hog? I don't- I don't know. He wants to say he made those hogs! Oh, boys. Switch to the other tab. What's on that tab? Uh, I- I- I control shift T because I'm an honest child. Wow. And up pops one piece porn.

It's uh, Nico Robin. She ate a Logia Devil Fruit. So she can have fire breasts. She's hawking Lukies in this porn? No, she has a Logia Fruit in her breast, made of fire. Yeah. I go kiddo, scoot over.

I open up command prompt. I enter like a big string of code with a 300 words per minute. And then I just press enter, and you're mining Bitcoin. And I'm out. I'll see you guys later. All right, see you guys, I'll be back in 30 years.

See, that's why your uncle's so successful. He does guys later. Alright, see you guys later. I'll be back in 30 years. See? That's why your uncle, your uncle's so successful. He does valuable things. Sorry, am I in trouble? Uh, look, there's nothing wrong here, except for the, you gotta stop watching One Piece. You gotta stop watching One Piece. I'm okay, I'm okay with pornographic One Piece. I don't think you should be watching the normal show.

It's just not good media. It's just brain rot media. I just heard online. What the hell is the cum-cum fruit? It's just not good media. It's just brain rot media. I just heard on line... What the hell is the cum-cum fruit? It's one of the greatest stories ever told. But whatever. Son, you have any girls or boys? You have a crush on at school? No, that's gay, dad.

I'm so homophobic. I'm 12. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's gay. Okay. Liking girls is gay? Well, yeah, that's also kind of gay. I think yeah Well, do you know what? You know what? Why don't we just keep it at that you can just keep being gay. Don't talk to anybody Girls or boys

Stop watching one piece. I think your mother will be happy with this. I think we us uh You can be can still beat off. You can beat you can beat off. Just leave the door open and then boom. It's like half the birds of the beast. And the a 24 logo. It was like a 30 minute trailer. Well, he said he thinks it's gay. So yeah, I we're kind of at an impasse.

You okay, but you you got it. Then bro, you say, hey, it's gay now. I think with my kid, it won't be gay with my kid. I'm going to do. You be- okay, but you gotta then broach and say hey it's gay now. I think with my kid- One day it won't be gay. With my kid I'm gonna do Bird's Bees and Beatbox. I'm gonna be like, boom in the poing, boom to penis in the boom boom boom. And he's done playing bitch. And boom in the poing, boom to penis in the boom boom boom.

And then he's gonna be like, well this sounds awesome. Nick, you already have the talk locked down. What's that? You go up to your kids room. You go... I can't talk locked down. What's that? You go up to your kids room. You go... I can't even say it. What? I'm your kid now.

What if I had a pussy? What if I had a pussy? And they're already just going to intuit because they have my genetics and kind of just know they're going to be like, oh, well, I would know exactly what to do. I'd probably want to make it finish before me. Now which hole is the vagina? Do you think in those those like textbooks? So someone draws those images, right? Yeah.

Actually, there's a time for this guy who you just watched Bad Melee. He does medical anatomy textbook drawings. He's a very talented artist. And I still follow him on Instagram and he draws like brains and hearts and shit. But the do you think there is a decision or in a conversation made about how large to make the woman's breasts? Yeah, there's definitely an editor note has a sticky note and it says had too small.

They're too big. Right. Right. Like, why not some like off the beaten path? Well, they have to be they have to be, I think, somewhat big because they have to display their own... If you're a young boy... Oh I didn't even think about that. It would be all AI now. All the textbooks are for sure using AI. ChatGBT defaults to bigger breasts can we just say it? Why do you know that? I'm just guessing. Oh I thought you were saying that. Well it's between call and recording sessions he's typing in woman with breasts and just seeing that they give something media defaults to that.

No, of course. I mean, at the end of the day, you have to depict breasts. Like if you put Martin Luther King with breasts, it's not going to give him a gave him way big. I remember big fucking bazookas reading like having having this book. And I think another one at some point, too. But these like illustrated kids explanations of the series. Huh? I don't know.

I just remember there being like, I don't know. I didn't see a lot of boobs back then. It's those eyewitness books and this is just a pussy. But they were both. They were both books that were neutral in their presentation of like, is this going to go to, you know, boys or girls to like teach them? So in the section about women, it was like it showed like 20 women of all, you know, shapes and sizes, like all women look different.

And it's like, I remember that, yeah, there was a penis lineup in mind. Yeah. And then the men have a penis line. And some guys are bigger and some guys are shorter. And it's to show you that you accept your body no matter what. They didn't have a one about really droopy balls, because that's what I got. Yeah. Well, and then it never told me about the dumpling pinch. And then it didn't tell- well, because we all just kind of know that. You figured that one out, yeah.

Dennis Office magazine called Goon Books. It's like a zoo book. Oh. But it's all- Yeah, Goon Books. monthly subscription. Goon Books. Yeah, this has-

Like catching fish in the- Speaking of Goon Books- This has just been done, but it wasn't called Goon Books. You guys just have Playboy magazines in your bathroom at home. You got goon books at home. Wait, you had Playboys in your bathroom? Yeah, QD loves Playboy. Oh, your current bathroom. I thought you meant your childhood bathroom.

No, god no. Playboys in it, from like French ass household. No, my girlfriend loves old Playboy lore. Okay. And she got like ancient Playboy magazine from the 60s 70s or whatever learn how to grab do she's There's like three of them in a game informer in there To learn how to grab memes coming back was that Ken verse bomb soldier round two that's high yeah, that is high

That's pretty cool. You think Bomb Soldier still has got it? When was the last time he played publicly? Is it recent? He did. He played it. He went to some sort of Japanese tournament where he showed up and people watched. He didn't play in the tournament, but people watched him play and he can still move around.

Here's the thing, bro. I cooked Ken when I played him. I do. Us, all the guys who don't go to tournaments and are loud on Twitter right now, let's watch Ken and Bombier play. Yeah, finally. That's where we can all unite as one. Finally something for the whole family.

Well, you said like you're gonna say something and then you kind of shut your legs. No, I'm just kind of thinking about my thighs. I think about your thighs a lot. Okay, well you can... How about mine? We can show you his thighs in the Patreon episode, which is coming up right now, if you're not already in there. It's an Xbox 360 summer, so... It for thigh. Do you guys want to keep doing the patreon episodes?

I was thinking about putting this whole podcast, but I have a date in mind. You have a date? I'll tell you in the patreon. Okay Let's get there