The Yard - Ep. 208 - Reddit Has Gone Too Far

Episode Date: July 16, 2025

This week, the boys talk about Ludwig's basketball event, the drama between Stanz and Lacy, and how Aiden has beef... Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Okay, wait you wish for a big orgasm? Well don't like test me on it, but yeah, that's what I wish for. I mean, I can make it happen. We can make that happen for you. Yeah, like right now. We've been working on a device. Dude, Nick. Okay, well I hate when he can make it happen. We can make that happen for you. Like right now. We've been working on a device. Dude, Nick.

Okay, well, I hate when he says it that way. What could this possibly lead into? Nick's mom outside. What now, bro? She's so... Oh, dude. Ludwig, give Nick a hug. And then Ludwig starts walking over to him.

Because I listen to mothers. And then Nick immediately like, no, stop. You can't tell my friends to give me a hug. And then like that looks that looks really bad. My mom is fighting my battles for me, bro. I want more hugs from my friends. They don't want to give them to me. I don't know under what saying why I go think about that in my free time.

I go is this reflective of my time on Earth? Is it reflective of how my friends secretly look at me? Are they closer to each other? They're closer to not close to closer to and other? Are they closer, not closer to, and then my mom's like, you gotta hug him. And I'm like, no! But you know what she said. You can't do that, mom!

But you said you can't do that, but then she said, I did it when he was six. I don't even know what she meant by that. That means she paid your friends to hug you, you loser bastard. She probably went to your friends after a sleepover and said, all right, hug Nick now. They hadn't even dropped that many friends yet at that point.

I had like three. But the very few that you had, she was forcing to hug you. That is fucked, man. My whole life sucks. You're on Slack, right? You have to be on Slack. Tell me you're on Slack, Aiden. No.

Is it on Reddit? Tell me you're not on the subreddit. Yeah, maybe Archie, maybe. Dude, you can't be on the subreddit. Use your voice now! This is your time! This is your fault. It's not mine.

It is your fault! I've never done that. I've never done that. Also, what do you think- Why would you say what you said? You know exactly what's gonna happen. We had a- We had a-

We had a- what's gonna happen. Me and Aiden had a beautiful moment before the pod. We're just joking around. We're goofing or gaffing. And then slime walks over and goes, Dull look at the subreddit. Dull look at the subreddit. Aiden? Dull look at the sub- And gaffing. And then slime walks over, he goes, don't look at the side of it. Don't look at the side of it.

And then Aiden's browsing the side of it. He's like, no, don't look at it. Don't look at it. And then the top post, one of you guys have hurt my friend today. He made a post. Something to the effect of Aiden's not that good at basketball.

Which is cringe. No, it's not. Aiden isn't good at basketball. The post is, Aiden's not that good at basketball. Hey, which is cringe. Hey, no, it's not. It's not in that way. The post is Aiden is surprisingly bad. It's just like so me. I'm just mad about the whole thing. Yeah. About the events.

I'm salty because I didn't play well. I think I played pretty bad even for me. I think especially in the first game. And I was frustrated because of the team we were playing against. And I understand why they changed their team and they were good and they deserve to go to the finals. And I wish I just played better and we won.

But I was sad that we lost because they added in somebody last minute who drastically changed their team. And well, I mean, you're not wrong to be salty because the seedings were set that one person from each group, the two groups of three. Yeah. That one person from each group wouldn't advance. And presumably you'd have the strongest seat in one group and the second strongest seat in another group. The top two teams are both from our group.

Like the finals was the two people we played against. Now, why did you do that, Ludwig? And why did you get your pants from the Green Hill Zone? OK. It's a two part question. Should I answer? OK, second part first. And why the hell is extra Emily walking around like a Nazi zombie? Dude, it's crazy. Why the hell does she do that?

Way in basketball? Yeah, I told you she does. She came up to me on stream and she's like, hi, slime. And I was like, so good to see you you should move your arms when you yeah yeah yeah we should use the all joints I asked her I was like what's your plan out there she's like I have a great plan I was like are you gonna just foul someone she's like no and then she went and fouled someone every time I was like feel like you don't know what a foul is anyway I got them from the Green Hills on his own so uh she was chasing around phase Lacey on

the court I think I saw him blush. Oh, oh, he did get hugged. It was like a girl chasing him on the playground. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't catch me. Wait. Stop it, Emily. And then he swatted the ball out of her hands and shot the game-winning three. Yeah, that was lit. Oh my, I can't believe they gave him.

Faze is back. I can't believe they gave him. So why was it so fucked up? So it was so fucked up because Elam was one of my six captains. All right. I got five captains and they all just I was like, hey, get four people on your team. And I explained kind of the level of skill, you know, and I'll just play ball with us. So I tell him, it's like, hey, this is this is what's, you know, the expectation. It's not like really pro players, but it's like, you know, people who kind of

do weekly runs and he goes, OK, comes back to me a week, but it's like, you know, people who kind of do weekly runs. And he goes, OK, goes back to me week later. He's like, I got my team. Like, awesome. So I got Fuseli and Saikuno. And I coincidentally had played against Fuseli in basketball for the first time in her life. Yeah. Like actually her first time ever.

And Saikuno had never played, no, never played the game. What? So I'm like, this is an interesting squad you've assembled. OK, let me real quick. Ellen's got to stop getting invited to fucking any sort of tournaments ever. This is the second thing in a row he's torpedoed and fucked up. What's the first? The Seijan Slam. Oh, I don't know about this. It's beef. It's beef, bro. He joined the say jam slam

didn't practice played like shit was late to his games because he was getting a haircut sponsored by Lexus from Fuseli he was he was literally everyone was annoyed at him I think he's fine guy he's fine he didn't torpedo you get a white boy with a little necklace in the spotlight you think he's not getting a haircut And also there's a there's a parallel here aiden with you and me put the sunglasses on put them down wait Dr. Eggman, let's go There's a parallel here because I recently Played in I played pretty bad in the stage. I'm slamming really hurt. And I get it. And I practice really fucking hard and feel like it wasn't represented in my skill. And everyone saw it. And it was like, damn.

But you don't understand Aiden, like Aiden wouldn't receive joy if somebody posted slimes, surprisingly bad at Street Fighter. Oh, how much he talks about it wouldn't be like, yes. No, he'd be in that thread arguing with them. Probably. Yes. But you would maybe get a little joy. No, no, no, no, no, no. I think I think I get the joy from being on my friend's side and being like, listen, listen, fuckers.

OK, I got to challenge this. And why did you say don't look at the suffer at it? Because you got a little joy. I know he doesn't care about basketball. So this is a moment of suffering for Aiden that is a little entertaining because he's a sports ball guy. I suppose may like he wouldn't have done that. No, I guess not.

But I also think that it's rich that a bunch of people in a subreddit are talking about Aiden's athleticism. Well, it's also annoying because it's just a dumb post. It's a dumb post. We've seen some of the people on the subreddit. But those aren't the one. They probably aren't the ones Sherpin. It could be like that, you know, that picture of the really buff guys

helping the little Trevor are just not good. Like they just forget to move their feet and stuff and I find that so funny for some reason. Isn't that insane to say? Like don't get me wrong, they clearly play but you can tell something just doesn't click. That's insane to say! Like from shot selection to switching off screens or even just grabbing boards, something seriously just doesn't get there.

The event was amazing though and the energy they all brought was elite. Slime funny as hell. Ludwig was electric. I'm sorry, now I get it. Ludwig was electric. Aiden was getting a little rowdy. Stans made Lacey almost cry.

And Aiden was nowhere to be found. Truly an amazing event. It's like, also, I went back and watched the second game. Because I knew I played so bad the first game. Maratory Vod review. Because I was frustrated. I was like, knew I played so bad the first game. Because I was frustrated. I was like, I just played so bad. And I let myself get mad.

And we started coming back too late and I fucked a bunch of stuff up. And then the second game I watched, because in the phase game I played really hard and I was like, I feel like I actually played pretty good. And I was like guarding Macha, who's amazing. Macho, Macho, yeah, like MVP was insane. And I thought AdapT was MVP. He was not. I watched the whole game. I probably watched him.

He was going crazy. AdapT was good. But Macho was the best player. Like Macho or Ryan was probably the best player. Right. And I was I was like, dude, a lot of the plays like I, I felt like I played good defense, like he made some like really hard shots. And I went back and watched it and I was like, yeah, I played fine in the phase game, like I made I made baskets. I made a three like I played good defense.

And then I just got, you know, he made really hard baskets over me to go over and over again. And then I also subbed out half of that game. Yeah. So then you don't get even seen. So then it's like, the perception is like, people only see like, oh God, this guy just like clowned Aiden, which wasn't true.

And then you're not in the game. So you can't even like do anything about it. And I have like a very- We did still get dumpstered though. There's like a very strong sense of justice here of like, he's like, well, only Ryan and Trevor are good. Trevor scored zero points in the first game he played. And it was funny because Trevor's also one of the best people in our group. So he played awful that first game and then played

amazing the rest of the tournament. Well, actually, I don't even agree with that. I think he played really good his first game or sorry, really bad his first game, good his second game and then bad his third game. Oh, but he had a good game. Yeah, he had that. Yeah, you have your moment. But that's how basketball on Sundays works. Like, I think Adam on it was funny because on Greek and Wiggs team, I think Adam is probably their best overall player. But in the tournament, he didn't look good in the span of these few games.

Adam didn't play that great. But week in, week out, right? Adam is one of the best people we play with. You know, it's crazy. And it's just this and it's the audacity that this Redditor, it's like, I didn't want your opinion, and you title it about me.

I don't. Fuck off! And then, if you wrote this post, why don't you fly out and come play with us every week? Oh, okay. If you wanna come play with us, well. Holy beat down! If you wanna come play with us.

This is a good idea! No, no, no, this is good. I will actually offer this. You, the Redditor who wrote this post, if you want to come play this, No, no, no, this is good. I will actually offer this. You the Redditor who wrote this post, if you want to fly out to LA and play with us two weeks in a row, I will pay for your flight. If you come here and you play basketball. Dude, I have a whole bunch of Stefan Castle.

And it, dude, we either, it's a win-win situation. Cause if he's like a fucking college or pro basketball player, then he's amazing. What am I doing? Losing to a pro? You're facing potentially the biggest L of your career. Or one of the biggest W's. Or one of the biggest W's.

It's a high risk. My god, if this guy's 6'6 and plays basketball and it's just annoying. Then he's great. It is a high risk. Then he backs it up. But you know, there's no shame in losing to somebody who's 6'6 and plays basketball. It stands on an alt account. Oh, well, I think that what I share your frustration is because this happens to me.

I would say a lot more when people are mad at me or making fun of me or shitting on me is they'll say something that is like kind of true in a way. It's like, yeah, you didn't look good when you played. All right, fine. But then they'll like make this whole story. And it's like and we're talking like our small time shit with like Ludwig's right here. It's like the shit. But and it sucks because it's just like, oh, come on.

And then you feel this need to defend yourself and then you're already defending yourself. And then you feel like a fucking idiot. And it's cringe. I mean, I replied to him. I just told him how I felt, which was like, don't you think this is insanely mean to say? Like, what do you how do you think I feel reading this?

Yeah. And you're rich now. You're richer than Oliver P. Well, probably. I'd be your PR guy. I think I have me like 100k. You're richer than Oliver P. Well, I believe I see your PR guy I think I give me like a hundred K year. I'll be your PR guy. I'll tell you fucking everything to say Nick as as Maybe questionably the best PR guy here you I think so in my 30s. Yeah With none of the mistakes for my 20s following me. Yeah

Tan and fake teeth. Yeah, I'm getting veneers. I'm doing plugs because it's going down here now. Yeah. You want to get rid of that point. I want to have a nice hairline. I think it's fine to reply to this. No, replying is fine. I think it's almost beast mode. But I think don't be mean to me is the wrong choice.

I think it's fine because this person... I think it's different because this person... I don't think I...I don't brag about how good I am at basketball. I just go and play. I'm like an all right basketball player. The most I say is that I'm better than Ludwig, which is true. That is bragging. Whoa. I believe you. I think you're telling the truth.

But you also that is technically bragging in a way to these guys. OK. It's like saying it's like I'm I'm gold in basketball and he's silver. Like it's like, I don't, but they don't play something out here. I'm not trying to hurt you. You know, I came in with a positive disposition. Yeah.

Drop nine. Boom. Oh! I dropped nine. Splash! Gooseneck. Gooseneck, bitch. More than everybody on my team combined. Yeah

That's anyone notice that the core was three points lighter without me on it isn't true Yeah, the core was three points lighter when I was on it. No is me. Oh my bad. It's all good Um, you always funny you say about Adam is that I was casting with nut and and Chris who's great by the way That guy's awesome Chris Chris. Yeah, he was good. He's real cool. And I thought it'd be a really good through trio I didn't get to listen to it. It was pretty good I think there was some stumbling cuz like in the beginning, but we kind of found a rhythm But it was really funny and then Chris he saw Adam do some move. Yeah, and he his eyes grew wide He was like yo, that's real shit.

And I'm like, yeah. It was cool watching him react to what was impressive or what wasn't. And then it'd be like, Chris, what's a foul? And then he'd describe it to me. I did the lineup of you, Nut, and then Chris, who, like one guy who actually knows what's going on. Yeah, and Nut wasn't a suit. He was dressed like young Obama.

You have a problem or mouth. You want to throw up in your mouth a little bit. I arrived to this event a little bit late. I full up. I see point crow and he's like, he looks great. He's not breaking. He has no sweat. He's drinking a Red Bull. He's having these laughing. He's talking to people. I'm like, hey, he's like, yo, what's up? And I'm like, oh, have you played yet? And he's like, yeah, I've already played two games. And I'm like, you're pretty good. Like, how'd they go? He's like,, what's up, and I'm like oh have you played yet, and he's like yeah I've already played two games, and I'm like you're like how'd they go? He's like oh, we won

I don't even have to play either I was like wait. What do you mean team point team point girl? You don't have to play he's like yeah Yeah, I have like really good teammates, and they just go play, and I just kind of sit on the bench Okay, he did play. I was like what so it was they had a literal game plan So he goes in starts his team goes down o5 There's an AT&T power play which adds one point to every shot He subs out his team won on like a 15. Oh run Yeah

It was there was a key change that they made but he knew it and he owned it Yeah, he was also wearing a visor. What the hell's that about? I don't know man. I don't know Indoors was pretty and he runs like Smeagol. All right. And he's got that fat ass. But I have to give it to him. His ass is fatter than mine. Eric, your ass is fatter than mine. And you played better.

Your team was better than my team. I got to give it to you. And he's got a fucking huge biceps. Now, I don't know when that happened. Yeah, but they outplaced us. I have to eat that. Yeah. I've made fun of him. Placements on rankings guy is in melee. Oh, us. I have to eat that. I've made fun of them enough. This is a placement on rankings guy in Melee.

Oh yeah, that's all that matters. Who's that guy who did those tweets after every tournament? Melee tournament? Yeah, it was like the unsubtle tweets being like now first place is Oh, Pipsqueak. The best Melee players are this and it's the top 8 ranking and it's not even close.

Oh yeah. God damn damn what a bad bit. So yeah, it's a problem when you do a bit and that's everyone's reaction when they remember. Well maybe it's memorable though. I mean we're talking about it now so I guess the build won't work. Maybe it's like losing a wanted mango for 13th. Yeah exactly. Or it's like when Bananas was in that one summit and And I think he lost the first and second to get like seven. Yeah, people kept coming up to me at the event

when I was walking around, like people we know, and they'd be like, hey, how come you haven't been at basketball recently? And I'm like, I would say the same thing to every person. I'm like, oh no, sorry. They were saying, why aren't you in the event? And I'd be like, yeah, cause I suck at basketball. And then they'd be like, no, no.

And I'm like, why are you all doing this? Just don't ask me the question. Just don't ask me. I was at Discord last night. It was like Alex and some other guys. And he's like, yeah, I'm flying Eric out for Habibi's wedding. And I'm like, oh, that's cool.

Habibi's getting married or whatever. And then Alex was like, yeah, you can come too if you want. And I was like, hey, Alex, brother man, if you have to say if you want, you probably just shouldn't ask if anyone wants to. He invited me to the wedding itself and he didn't. He was like, you should go to a baby's wedding in Dubai. And I'm like, I don't think I'm invited. He's throwing out invitations to another man's wedding.

Yes. That's very funny. I was different in Dubai, but that is a faux pas. Now imagine showing up on that and be like, no, he said, so totally out of here. He's like, no, he'd be cool with it. You just show up and then you'd be like, no, I was here for the Esports World Cup. By the way, just to clear something up, I wasn't trying to like twist a dagger or anything. I just thought what they were saying was so dumb that you might find a joy in that, even though obviously it's like it hurts

Cuz they're being mean, but I I genuinely am on your side because I know how much you play basketball and fucking care about it You win Smash camp every year This more of like look at these guys and how wrong they are about something they don't know about. Yeah. And so I'm on your side. I mean, it's sad because we just I think genuinely we even though we like even playing bad in the first one, we could have won both of the games. Like they were both like we for sure could have won both the games. Yeah, I think we didn't have enough offensive production.

And then I was also hurt not to throw out a John. Here we go. You hurt? I'm fucked up. My rib remember the 1v1s we did like Thursday and then Adam hit me in the chest. Love it. I inflamed that. Another rib issue. Wait yeah my last one was like five years ago. Your last one was like eight years ago and you never got it looked at and now you have another one? Yeah, but- Is it the same spot? Yeah.

Same side. Go to the damn doctor. No, he's not even gonna go to the doctor, bro. I did after the first one to be clear. Okay, and they said what? They said, oh yeah, it's fractured. Which is just, you gotta, you know. And then do you know what you do, Nick?

Yeah. You wait. You wait. Well, not you, you're rich. You could probably get a new one. You could probably get Aiden's if you wanted it. I mean I I don't think I could but I want the rib from Adam and Eve I just I want that one doctor. I was expensive that one's so pricey for your rich as Adding more ribs we need to take them out like Marilyn Manson didn't have take out the broken On the right side that's a hurtful I don't think it's hurtful. I think it's awesome.

Chill on Marilyn Manson. Sorry. Yeah, no, my rib is bruised now. I can't put any pressure on it. It's still a good event. Let's go around how do we fix Ludwig events. Number one, no more Elam. Number two, no more Ludwig.

I think Ludwig competing is like... See, now because we've... I feel the need... Because I talked to Elam. Number two, no more Ludwig. Yeah, I think, I think Ludwig competing is like. See now because we've, I feel the need, because I talked to Elam about it at the event and I brought it, I brought him my grievances and he did, he explained his perspective where in his opinion, I didn't know this, but they had Buddha who is apparently an absolute baller and they had Buddha on their team the whole time. So Buddha was getting replaced by Chris, the like singer Chris that Oh, Sunkist. Yeah, that they didn't know was that telling your parents about this. Like, yeah, they had they had Buddha, which I thought was unfair.

So they brought Macho in. Really, I was. Huh, that's great, sweetie. These summer kids are men and Buddha dropped and got replaced by Sunkist or Chris last minute. Greek Adonis? That's the Greek Adonis guy? Yeah, yeah.

Washboard abs, beautiful pecs. Let me read what he sent me. So I'm just gonna change your mind. He said, thank you again, man. Today was awesome. I've never won anything really low. So to even get second was friggin' dope. Yeah, you obviously didn't get close in the Sage Amp Slam either, because you didn't fucking

do anything. It was? Okay, no, again, I'm shitting on Elm. I think he's totally fine. I think he's totally fine. I think he's totally fine. I think he's totally fine. I think he's totally fine. I think he, no again I'm shitting on Elm, I think he's totally fine, but it was a problem in the slam. If he got seconded this tournament it actually doesn't matter.

You know I like shitting on Elm, okay? MrBeast tweeted out I have the biggest collab in history and the only person I replied don't invite this guy, Jimmy, what's the L? And there were some crazy, there were some heinous people replied. That's hater shit. Oh, yeah. Dude. Oh, I was going to say some fucking wise and sure gore. It was about the fucking bad. It was so important and wise. It was so crazy and wise.

Well, Maya was the hero. Yeah. She was MGA. Where did MGA come from? From Chris. He was naming basketball players like I named Melee Falcos. Yeah. I was like, I don't know. His basketball knowledge probably goes deeper than your melee knowledge. It was great. Yeah. I guess basketball knowledge goes deeper.

You know who else was nut? Nut and him were like they were like trading like, oh, what about frenzy? Oh, what about Elliot? You know, and I was just like, I like like you're translating something that we understand. I I'm on your side. But like more people listening would understand the basketball references. I would love to also hear it.

Yeah Elliot. King Momo, King Momo. Parkinson. Yeah. What if it's just like Tyrese Halliburton? You know, it's like not a frenzy. It's like one of the best players. Is he a good big, big guy?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, they were, cause he kept asking Chad, he's like, all right, chat, who is the Elam of the NBA? And then the chat would go crazy, and he'd read off a name, be like, he'd be like, Tony Snell. You fucking kidding me? Which was very fun.

Yeah. Yeah, that was cool. Oh, yeah, yeah, so improving the Ludwig events. No more Elam, no more Ludwig. I think it's finally time you stop playing. I feel like I'm doing good in them it's not about doing good oh you did good in this one yeah I think I did well as well did you what was the final bracket oh so you're saying no Ludwig is a player am I still hosting that take

a leave like a name in yeah use your name you don't even have to really show up I don't think like what like Michael Coors? Who's that? The beer guy? Yeah, Coors. What does that mean? Like I wouldn't be in the store. I don't know. I don't know. It's just my name there. And you just buy.

Yeah, you just don't. And everyone else shows up like we're doing the Ludwig basketball jam next year and you're just. I'm just not. That's what he's implying. He's implying I'm not even there. Yeah, it's about the it's a LBJ, the brand. Yes, I'll be the brand. It's not really about it's LBJ, the brand. Yes. LBJ the brand. It's not really about you.

Fast 52, is that announced? Fast 52 is announced. The day it's announced. Fast 52 idea, you have on one court, you have two players and they're speed running for a thousand threes. Oh my God. Kind of a sick idea. It is, but you would know who wins, you know what I'm saying? Like, no, you could come back.

Keep him in a box. and you could give each of them three punishment cards they can call on the other person at any time. They would have to not be able to see each other. Yes. Yeah. You have to be in like isolated studios. One of those been done for three hours. Yeah, that'd be really funny. Like, it's like a loan, like a loan.

It's that show where people go camp in the wilderness. But it's like ten of them What I thought you said alone like a house? Oh, oh, yeah They just camp in the wilderness and there's like ten people doing it and whoever lasts the longest wins a hundred K But you don't know how long the other people are camping that is fucked. That should be illegal. Yeah I think a lot of reality shows Loki should be a little bit I know a lot of reality shows when the one with the moms and the kids should be illegal That one should be illegal. Yeah, or a lot of reality shows win? The one with the moms and the kids should be illegal.

That one should be illegal. Yeah, or I should be on it. Milf Hunter? What? Is that the one with the moms and the kids? That's the one. Milf Hunter. Milf Hunter is a guy, a legendary man.

Oh, Milf Island, excuse me. Oh, Milf Island's the one with their sons, but they all date each other? The moms are trying to date and the kids are trying to date. And not each other. Call it Mom Swap why don't you? Yeah. Eww. But I remember what I was going to say.

So Sykuno, he did this with dodgeball too. He will join these events and kind of do nothing and be very like unathletic. And it's kind of crazy. No, no, listen, listen. Wow. It's kind of crazy because you look at him, you're like, what is the idea here? But I think it is a very brave thing to do to still say yes. You know, it's just not just not play the basketball.

You should have seen on the driving range in the back. There's a virtual golf range. He's like, well, I never held one of these, but I guess I'll give it a go. Boom, 100 yards. Beautiful. I would love to see you versus Sekuno on basketball. I was saying I was saying on commentary, everyone's like you, Sekuno 1v1 who wins. I'm like to see you versus Sykuno on basketball. I was saying, I was saying on commentary, if everyone was like you, Sykuno, 1v1, who wins, I'm like, it's close. Wait, that's actually, it is an equal level of experience.

You both have one day of basketball experience. I know. Loser wears a diaper for a year. No, but I'm not taking this shit home because again, it was like obviously like, dude, Chris was calling him a cone. He said a point cone. Ludwig is a cone. Well, Chris, I him a cone. He said a point cone. Ludwig is a cone. Chris. I'm a cone. He said you were a cone.

I got nine points. Cones don't get nine points. At the beginning, you were pretty much a cone. I hit the first three dagger. Wait, nine points total. Yeah. And in like two hours of playtime in two games. Yeah. Well, like 30 minutes. But for a man who could simply just say, no, that's okay, I won't do that. He still does it, and I think that's brave and interesting.

Well, I am not playing on my next one. No? A lot of streamer games? Oh, thank fucking God, bro. You're just hosting, you're just hosting. I'm just hosting. You suck. We should have Team Yard.

You had so many athletic events this year. Team Yard is not a thing. Why not? Because it's not how it works. Why not? Because I'm changing the format. You make the rules. Let's make a rule. I know, and I made it so that I'm not doing teams.

I'm doing eight captains of the captain's draft teams. No one's going to draft us. We'll draft each other. You guys aren't a captain. We could be a captain. We're not even in it. Team Yard, and we compete in three competitions. One, eating ice cream. cream to getting blowjobs.

Yep. And three getting blowjobs and blowjobs machine. You're not. There's a machine category and there's a human category. How would you win the getting blowjob? Oh, OK, we can't have him on the table. You got to. We got a question like that. Sorry. Yeah. How does the pole vaulter go over the it's a physics, bro. Yeah, it's just how the game, big bro. Yeah. How does the pole vault go over the it's physics, bro? Yeah, it's just how the game works. Right. Right.

So, yeah, I think this is a good idea. I feel like you guys would be horrible at every single sport I've lined up. That's crazy. In the in the Olympics. Yes, I would. I would. Yeah, I think I'm terrible at every Olympic. You like one. Yeah, I can leak. I got we're bringing back Simon Says. I would be crazy.

Simon says you would be crazy. Yes. And then you'd be like, oh, dude, I didn't fucking. He didn't know. I would say I would take maybe three seconds. I would transfer the colors into some sort of like a mortal technique song that I can I can I have like synesthesia. I could like see the color and the music all at the same time. And then I would be I would fucking I think I go infinitely.

You go infinitely. I don't think I'd ever stop. I don't have a fucking Trickshot contest buddy. Maybe you should okay. Think about that. Why not? I don't face is gonna be there probably Maybe you should I I just wouldn't make sense for eight teams to compete it'd be boring to watch No extra Emily imagine she hits one. Yeah, dude Yeah, but you know how boring it would be to get to that point. No, bring dude perfect. I think we're doing Uma Musume. Right. DT Derby.

What are you doing that at Streamer word? Yeah. Streamer. Wait, like it's called the runners. Is it real life? It's a piggyback 200 meter dash. Well, that's not that's not accurate. It's not an idea. Not accurate to the accuracy to the game is just people running. People running that look like horses. It's going to be people. They're going to have horse tails. So it Not accurate to the game. Actually, accuracy to the game is just people running. People running that look like horses.

It's going to be people. They're going to have horse tails. So it's accurate to the game. Yeah, but it's not. The one the running horses. The ones that like the with the horse head and the stick. No, because people just cheat then. They like don't do it.

You know what I'm saying? Like, yeah, but you have a judge, bro. Yeah, but it's such a hard call to make. Like, oh, you didn't look like you were on the horsey enough. I guess we don't. We're doing the piggyback. Guys, this is why you're not. Yeah, but that's not Uma Musa made pretty derby. Okay. It's just not. What place did you get? I got fucking like 12th. Right. And I got seventh. So who's more of an Uma head? I am because it's literally two people versus one person. One horse girl races in the game. What do you know about vodka?

Uh, vodka, she's a late starter. Or, sorry, she's a late surger. Vodka is the only horse in recent history to win the Japan... I don't care about the lore. The lore, I don't give a shit about the lore. I'm talking about the game. I'm taking care about the lore! Chad Warden cares about the games.

Put speed climbing in it. PS Triple. Nah, man. Because we'd have to. Put speed climbing in it. PS Triple. Nah man. Because we'd have to make a speed climbing wall. Yeah, have someone just bring one. You know what guys? I appreciate the insight.

You're going to have an LED wall. I'll take these into consideration. You're going to have an LED wall. Someone's got to ring that. You ever think about how you get all these ideas for free? I'll take all these into consideration. I'm glad. Give me a sport. You know what, I'll deeply consider it right now.

What? Give me a sport. How about 1v1 Shadowfiend Mid? What is that? In Warcraft 3 Dota, not Dota 2. That's a video game. Esports are just sports. Xhamster, xxx.com, porn.com, Sexvid, Fuck with a Q, Beeg, Sun Porno, I'm just looking through subscriptions from this week.

You're subscribed to all those and X.com and Truth Social. E-Mings on my phone, bro. I don't think that's the case, but even if it is... And I'm subscribed to Truth Social as well and Breitbart and that one is mine. Are you posting over on Truth? I'm a real truth poster. I didn't know there was monetization on those on one of those websites. They're coming on all three right now. It's a slow rollout. Right. So you're in the early ground monetization. But I found out that I've lost $10,000 okay instead of making a single dime. That's pretty bad. I don't know what to do about it to be honest.

I think I have a solution for you. If you had Rocket Money, it would have told you way earlier that you were putting money into these things that you maybe forgot you signed up for, for like maybe a joke, probably a joke, maybe some sort of bit. Do you even know what Rocket Money is? So like a woke canceling tool.

No, Rocket Money is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions and monitors your spending, and also helps lower your bills so that you can grow your savings Ludwig. And I've seen your savings, not proportionate to the income. We gotta get that shit up.

I save a couple. We gotta get that up. Look, you can see all of your weird subscriptions that you shouldn't be on in one place, gives you a dashboard, it gets alerts if bills increase in price, which obviously happened to you. Does it auto-track it? Oh, it? Oh it auto tracks it. Like would it know

everything I sign up for? Uh, unfortunately yeah. What does that mean for you? But it's good for you to know that right? You get to know it only no one else gets to see that. Does Mr. Rocket know it too? You can also check your credit score which for you is probably somewhere it starts with a six. Okay it actually is up now. It's up now? Yeah, 704. Oh! Whoa! So you guys got a little bit quiet, huh?

The guy on the third place podium popping the champagne. Anyway, Rocket Money has over 5 million users and saved a total of 500 million in cancelled subscriptions, saving members up to $740 a year when using all of the app's features. Yeah, I like using it for, I like to categorize all my spending. I actually went through and did all of it one day where I went through and said what everything is. It does a pretty good job automatically, but I did some myself. And I was like, damn, I spend way too much on food.

That's your Breitbart. Your Breitbart Plus. Yes. Let's both make a pact. I'll stop using Breitbart. You stop eating food. I'll stop eating food forever. Thanks to Rocket Money.

I'll just continue being normal. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goes faster with It says cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with rock and money, but a rocket my comm slash the yard That's rocket my comm slash the yard Shut up Aidan bird like at the stream. Yeaher games. I thought it was getting blowjobs. Wait a minute, wait a minute, I was varsity in high school. All three of your ideas are good and I'll take them into consideration. Okay, my actual one's speed climbing. Okay, he really doesn't like that.

I think he'd had blowjobs before he had speed climbing. Well, it was in the same category. See? He thinks it's really dumb. Because he came up with an idea of why it was dumb. Shot put, we kill a guy in the same category. See? He thinks it's really dumb. Because he came up with an idea of why it was dumb. Shotput, we kill a guy in the crowd. Yo, shotput into the crowd? Yeah.

Yeah, that could be fun. I have Ed, I have to figure out the Ed thing still. The milk mile. Well, I don't know if they'll let us dump that much milk on their track. It has to be some sort of like health violation. No, because it's only 12 ounces. Milk Mile on the grass. No, no, that's the part that you really care about.

The track is better to... Oh, it's turf, huh? The track is more chill to spill on than the turf. Milk Mile. So gross. Everyone's throwing up. Extra Emily throws up just seeing someone else throw up. And she laughs when she throws up. K-Song threw up three times yesterday.

What? Yeah, he did. Dude, he looked ghostly at the end of the day. He did look ghostly. Why did he throw up so much? Because he hadn't won in a fucking damn year. He's old as shit. He's 30, bro. And he's a cool DJ. And he is a cool DJ. And him and Dre should be hanging out. Didn't Lacey throw up, too?

I don't think Lacey threw up. I don't think Lacey broke a sweat. He went on the court, did like three step back threes. And then he was like every time after every game, he's like, yeah, what up? And all the other guys were on their fucking knees. It was crazy. Yeah, dude. Also, Lacey, Lacey and Stans almost went to blows. They did almost go to blows.

That happened when I subbed out. So I didn't see what happened because it was right. It was literally right after. So when I watched the game back, I saw it because I subbed out. So I didn't see what happened because it was right. It was literally right after. So when I watched the game back, I saw it because I was Lacey was talking later about how he confused me with Stans and thought I was the one who head butted him. And I'm standing there. I'm like, I have no fucking idea what you're talking about. I don't know if you can look up Lacey head, but it might come up.

But there was a bingo board and two of the spots where Aiden gets in fight, Sans gets in fight. Both were hit. Yeah, you took a big hit. Was that your nose? You were like holding your face. Yeah, AdapT elbowed me in the nose. That was just that was not a clean foul, but that was a clear foul. It looked tough. But at one point, Aiden calls Kason, he says, shut up, shut the fuck up.

And then Kason goes, don't tell me to shut the fuck up. Wait, really? Oh, yeah. They're chippy. It was because Kason went up and hacked Afoul, like smashed across, I think Chris's arm when he went up on like the first or second play. And as soon as he got called, he turned to the ref and looked up like that. And I was like, dude, shut the fuck up.

Because it was so obvious. I saw you smashed his arm. But then Casey goes, I don't know you. Yeah. I don't know. He was mad because he was like, I don't know. You don't talk to me like that. And then I laughed and then he didn't like that. I laughed. And then and then and then we appalled and then we didn't squash.

Well, what kind of happened is they baby squash, but then 30 fouls proceeded to happen in a row. Like not a single point was scored. It was just a foul off. Okay. And the ref's whistles were getting work. Okay. Uh, and then like towards the end of the game, I don't even know what sparked the Stan's Lacey thing initially. I don't know what happened. I think Lacey started like trolling him and saying some shit. I think he was like saying some disrespectful shit. It looks like it looks like classic Lacey. Because you can't hear it in the in

the video, but it looks like Lacey says something as they're both walking back up the court. And it looks like Lacey says something after fouling him. Yeah, I think Lacey fouled him and said, like, you're bad or something. I wasn't even fouling him. Something like that. You know? And then Stans, true justice Stans. He can't talk to Stans that way. Goes, goes, all right, what? What'd you say? Say it to my face. I don't like that effect. Oh my God. And then Lacey looks like he goes for a little headlock.

Oh, like that? You know, the headlock. And then kind of backs out. He had to like kind of. And then Stance goes in from one foot. The way he goes in for it, it looks like he almost, like he's going in like a Zadadeen Zidane. I was gonna say, it looks like it's gonna be

the Zidane headbutt. But then he pulls back and he like, he maybe lightly kisses Lacey's forehead and then with his head. Right. And then, and then, and then Lacey's like, he just headbutt me. And then he goes back in and then, and then I'll go to break this up. I'm seeing this all happen.

I'll tell you, I know who wins that fight. Oh, it's Stans. And it's the man in his thirties. Yeah. That's the thing. Nobody knows about Stans's right arm. They don't know about his hook. If it doesn't come out of its socket, bro, you're out.

It's lights out. I was saying on commentary, I was like, Stan, you cannot lose a fight to a man with whitened teeth. You cannot do that. It's a bad hook. One punch, they change shade. The souls leave. I'm going to slap the white off your teeth.

Reversing his Holloway. Then they get real close. I go to break it up. The ref comes right in. He steps in front of me, he goes, I got this. He steps in between and he keeps eating. He goes like this. He goes, yummy, yummy, yummy, yummy, yummy, yummy, yummy, yummy.

When they just stop. I mean, I'd stop too. I'd be like. It's like when a mama cat grabs the baby cat by the neck and they just know to stop moving. He just knew what to do. He's like, don't worry, I got this. And he's so nonchalant about it, it's like, I got this.

Like he's seen it 100 times. That's crazy. How do you immediately disarm or fight between two men? Like both men are just like, yummy, what? I don't know. That wouldn't take me out of it, though. 100%. Every time, bro.

Because you zoom out for a second and you're like, oh, it's actually a little embarrassing. We're playing like a three three game. There's no reason to get this heated. Case on won me over by the end of that game. Why? Because of his hard fight. Yeah, through the whole tournament, he was he was clearly exhausted. And we did. We squashed like during that game.

And then he was so tired, but he kept pushing and he kept making shots like through the whole tournament. I did. And if you're out of shape, like if you haven't played at all, that's really hard. Oh, my God. He had a crazy he had a crazy move to. There's a highlight package for that whole tournament. It's actually some moment, intel moments of brilliance. I think next year I made a big mistake this year that I'll correct

I lost 15 pounds for this tournament. I'm putting 15 more on. Yeah, not on your Lucas shit. Yeah Ludwig stinky to Basketball event the stinky to invitational and then if you're team your team weight must average out to a sting We call it the stinky to point line. Yeah out to a stinky. We call it the stinky two point line. Yeah. And they're going up for a stinky two. And it's wet and stinky. It's the AT&T stink ball and it has the green lines.

Yeah. There's no more blue ball. It goes in the net. It burns the net. You know, it was good. You know, I was worried how it was going to play out was the the power play. I thought it was great. It was great. It actually worked almost exactly as intended.

I think we made a big switch at rehearsal, which was losing team gets the ball. Yeah. Initially that wasn't gonna happen, but it basically made it like a comeback mechanic. Yeah. Which was like. I forgot who, Faze versus someone,

almost a massive comeback. Oh, there was 18 unanswered points. Yeah. I mean, Donate to Alveus was up 12-5. And then there was a 10-point comeback. Yep. No, so it was some crazy... Dude, Nut kept running this bit.

I... Sometimes it was funny and sometimes it wasn't, but I was like, you know, you do you, you're you, and that's beautiful. But he just kept talking about Lacey as if he was like Kim Jong-un. Like, an infallible president of the world that has, that has never done anything wrong as in secretly running everything. And is like, he's the best basketball player. He's like, he's like, yeah, Lacey's not on the court right now, but you can

tell he's directing the team. And it was the only thing he would ever say about Lacey. If you go back, Elizabeth, the broadcast, he's really trying to push this bit through. Chris, I don't think he's picking up on it. I am picking up on it. But I'm like, I don't want to beat the guy who just only dogs on Lacey because he's clearly dogging on him.

So I'm like playing this. It was a beautiful dance of words. It was so fucking funny. As a guy who was on the bench next to him, he was directing it. He was. He was. He was. He'd be like, adapt shouldn't be driving like that. And then we didn't say it loud. Adapt would just kind of just nod.

Pass the ball to Macho. Now, creator soccer event up next. I think you just want to play. Yeah, bro. I want to play. I think I want to do volleyball. Oh, because that sounds beach. I want to write regular, regular, regular. I want to play I think I want to do volleyball. Oh Because that sounds be five are really regular. Well regular. Yeah, and I played I was good at volleyball in middle school What I was no hundred percent I know what I hit you on elements team Yeah, you know what I whipped that boy in the shape thousand percent whenever it sounds just like Connor. No Just like they don Just like him. They don't sound a little bit like each other.

Maybe if I was trying to think of the two least sound alike people. That's crazy. They actually sound so different. Oh, Connor talk. I was in Connor's pants. Wait, wait. Still no. Yeah, this is racist now. No, they have the exact same. There's like a hundred different British accents. They have the same one.

No, dude. Connor and Elam have hundred different British accents. They have the same one. No, dude. Who? Connor and Elam. You're saying Connor and Elam have the same British accent? On God. Isn't Connor's Welsh? No, Connor's is pretty posh. Well, Welsh is part of the British Isles, so jot that down.

But it's a different accent. I don't believe this. Connor does not really sound Welsh. I'd whip his ass in this shape, bro. I'd be like, this one's for fucking your modern Zangief, bro. I mean, they both have very Americanized accents, but Elam talks like he's in a frat at the age of 31. So do you? Connor talks like he's at tea time. He does. Yes.

He has love in his heart. It's like a little more. He told me he told me his his poker, his Call of Duty poker set story again. And I just listened to the whole thing. I just loved hearing how happy. I was like, yeah, show me pictures, bro. I've already seen all the pictures. Yeah. I'm like, oh my God, it's so fun.

Just like being regaled. You into volleyball? Do it. See what I care. See if I give a fuck. Why? Why are you being like that? Because when I said I want to play

because I was good in middle school, you fucking looked at me like I was a chopped fucking idiot huzz. You were good at volleyball in middle school? I was. I can't wait. I'm gonna run this event. I'm gonna get you on a team and I'm posting the next fucking day. Slime was surprisingly bad at volleyball. I think I can't go anywhere.

How much he bragged. There's no bedrock. I am sitting on the bedrock and I have been since the video came out. No bump, no sit. The volleyball is so hard. Volleyball is hard against good volleyball players. Volleyball is a sport where if you miss the point, No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, frustrating when one person's a horrible volleyball on your team. Oh, you can't mask them because the ball goes to them. It's just you got to push them out of the way.

You got to go for it yourself. Now, that's what Will Nuff would do. Yep. I stand down. Yep. What are the easiest sports for an event like this? Basketball seems like it's one of the best ones you could you could do. Probably. Soccer. Yeah, soccer is more I think soccer is hard to capture. They play that in barrios.

Soccer, we already had this discussion once, but soccer is hard because it's like when someone runs past you, if you're on, if you can't catch them, it's like over. It's over. Yeah, like Maya can grab a basketball and shoot it and it can go in. I think that was one thing with this too is that if it's full, if it's full court basketball, it's also a lot different too you bring back load with kickball Pickballs pretty easy kickball is easy. I'm not gonna walk but it is pretty slow Dude, I kind of want to fucking run a softball game

Okay, why that I think why that over kickball because kick I feel like for especially The the hand-eye coordination with softball, I feel like is. Yeah, it's going to be a lot of strikeouts. I want people who are decent, but I think I just like watching baseball. I watched baseball every day of my life. Every day of your life. Well, you don't in the regular season, they play 162 games in like, I don't know, something like 100. Do you watch baseball highlights?

Yeah, I watched 10 minutes of baseball. I watched the baseball, the full Dodgers highlights every day. Every day. 10 minutes. Well, they play like three game series, usually daybreak, three game series, sometimes back-to-back series. Yeah, one time Josh watched a 10 minute essay about Alien, the movie and said the movie was really good. Okay, watching a baseball highlights is more comparable to watching the game than watching an alien. I don't actually know. That's tough to decide.

Well, I mean, I get watching the highlights if you have if you don't want it. It's also weird to go back and watch a game that already aired. No, no, this is super normal. You're watching an entire game that already aired. You're a boomer. You're a boomer. People do that. Yeah, very commonly. It's actually one of the most common ways people consume basketball. No shit. Yeah. That's how Blurr Blurr watches basketball.

He he doesn't want to. He said he pirated the all pirates, all the games and downloads them to his Plex server and then watches them later. OK, that's crazy. But the NBA has an official highlights channel and they upload the game within like minutes of it ending with like a 10 minute highlight package and those get like millions of views every game and like NBA TV ratings are down but those YouTube views are like up. Sure, sure.

You know, Blur used to say too, there's a weird connection with like the San Antonio Spurs and like Iran. I forgot what, ask Blur next time you see him. He's like, for some reason people people in Iran love the spurs. And that's why he loves them. Thinking shots. This sounds like something that blur would say to me. Yeah, I just I want to believe this.

No, he looks 25 percent Persian. And I've said that a lot. Is he Argentinian? Huh? Yeah, he just looks a bit. Purges of it. It's an aura thing. He's aura for. Yeah, just looks a bit Persian. He looks a bit Persian. It's an aura thing, he's aura farming. Yeah, he's a bit Persian. He's got Persian aura.

Yeah. The eyebrows. You're busting out that shirt, man. I'm busting out? You are busting out that shirt. Yeah, man. I like that. What is that?

This is Japan's national jersey. I got it in Japan with my friend Michael. You're so fucking extra I can't handle it. Why am I so extra? Sorry, I'm trying to be nicer. You look really good. You were in a pizza my heart shirt Oh, yeah, you got that from pizza my heart. That's right. I got it. I got this with a slice downtown San Jose

Is that team sponsored by y3? Huh, or is that a y3 jersey? I get it made by y3 like you buy at the store and that's not the jersey They wear I bought this at the equivalent of dick sporting goods. So I don't know I don't think it's like a designer shirt. Probably a sponsor, though. If it's a Y3 shirt, it's kind of a designer shirt. I guess I do that shit then. That's that Yoji Yamamoto shit. Adidas Y3.

You know, speaking of me getting roasted, something happened. Cumstured. Something happened this week. After we were done playing Mario Kart, we got we played a USA versus France Mario Kart match this week. After we were done playing Mario Kart, we got, we played a USA versus France Mario Kart match this week. We matched up against Etoua's team. Oh, you were in that? Which was meant to be even.

But it was not. We got cooked. Okay. And... He invited seven machos. French machos. Ellen with seven machos. Surely you invite, for a competition like that, you invite the best of the best.

Well, Etoile said, like had a group that was the best of the best and then toned it down and made this team that was supposed to be even. Yeah, like I gave him my names and then he made the group around the people I sent in. Yeah. So we're playing and one of the people, it's Valkyrae, Squeaks,

simply me, simply. And when this is all wrapped up, Ludwig leaves the call and Valkyrae wants to play Counter-Strike. And she asks me, Squeaks and Voight to play Counter-Strike. Oh, my God. Which is just an insane stack from the outside in. Four stack or is it another person? Four stack for the first game.

And then we end up, we get somebody else with us later. But during the first game, me and Ray have never played games together on stream before or played games in general. So she is getting a bunch of messages in her chat. She's like, hey, we've never played games before. I realized, I don't know that much about you. My chat's saying very interesting things right now. And I'm like, okay, I open it up.

Shingle, ask Aiden about his shingles. Ask Aiden about how he peed on the floor. Ask Aiden about how he tried breast milk. I'm reading through the highlights and I'm like, guys, you have to stop saying these things. These are not helping me out of context. Like, even in context. Even in context.

What's the context for one? It doesn't help that much. So what Ray is doing over the course of this stream is like, I'll die in a round and she'll die. And then she'll cherry pick one of these insane things that her chat is saying to ask about me that she is. She's like, can you explain this in front of her entire chat? Yeah, she does this over and over and over again.

We're 90 minutes deep and I'm explaining to Ray why it's not crazy that I tried breast milk one time. It's not going well. Like I'm floundering and that is one of those. I was like I was saying earlier, it's like, yeah, it is. That did happen. But then you have to defend yourself. And it's like, it doesn't look good. Are you fragging out?

And then I am fragging out. Is she fragging out? She did. We actually stopped to the game. So she know you can just say no. She fired up the swag seven and she was a demon in tunnels. And my name on Steam is Authentic Oatbeverage. So this backstopped by the breast milk question. They start calling me, the whole sack starts calling me Milk Boy.

They won't call me Aiden anymore. And they call me milk boy for the rest of the stream. Dude, you had breast milk like years ago. One time! This is so cringe. Oh man, if he says on the show, torture him with it for the rest of his life. I mean, it's kind of like the, you know, why when you fuck a pig one time, do you become a pig fucker?

Ah, yeah, but it's like I don't fuck pigs now. Yeah, but what if you're doing that to save a hostage and represent the nation of the United Kingdom? Then what if you need to do it? Like one of those British titles where it's like pig fucker, hostage saver, EDM, whatever the fuck the rest of the letters are. Right. But your wife still leaves you at the end of the episode. If we were all, I guess, Ludwig has been, if Nick and I were in the same situation,

like, you know, we barely ever talked to Valkyrie, what would they say about us? I feel like I have very fun ones. Be like, ask Slim about how if nine dogs are better than one. No, her line would be, she'd be like, why is my chat saying you hate women? Ah! That's not it.

I would immediately say, I just hate that they're so beautiful and don't get enough recognition. And then she would be like, Oh my God, so sweet. And then everyone in chat would say W and it would be over and I would win. For Anthony, it would be what? And she'd be like, slime, why don't you think women can be male men? Yeah. I would have to. What's the name of the job?

Let's start there. I would have to take the stand on that one. So what's up with paramotors? Why do people keep asking if I should? Fine. You're saying it's like, who knows where's a diaper? That one. I what's up with paramotors? Why do people keep asking if I should paramotor with this? You're saying it's like, who knows where's a diaper? That one I would- And it crinkles when he walks?

That one would be really hard. Yeah. She would not take your side on that one. Why do you say you'd look at a dead baby's penis? That one is way old. And I think that one also gets filtered. And it wasn't a baby. It was a kid, which is worse.

It was a kid. Wow. And now we're splitting hairs. It is a kid, which is worse. It was wow. And now we're splitting hairs. It is worse, though. Isn't it funny how that works? It's funny how that works. You can look at a baby's penis all you want. But once it's a kid, you can't look anymore.

It's a bell curve. Yeah, it's a bell curve. Yeah, I don't know what shape it is because we got it. They might be circumcised. I think well, and then I think it's more ethical if the kid is dead. Man, that bell curve. And then and now you're rehashing it. Yeah.

And then you're stuck, right? You're stuck defending some crazy. That's why you don't rehash. That's why you don't. You just say, you just say, ah, yeah. This is actually the easiest with you. What? Yeah.

We can find a million things for you. There is so much. But the thing is, that one probably gets caught by her automod, so she can't. Right. Also, the thing is, in these situations, you can just lie. Yeah, you can lie. So like in the breast milk, you should be like, oh, I have breast milk every week.

True. Yeah. You cover a sheen of irony around you. Yeah. Which is hard for Aiden. He likes to be genuine. Because she's too locked in on the game to be able to discern because chat won't be coherent enough.

Because some will know, some will know. Yeah, I make my own breast milk at home, actually. It's actually my breast milk for my tits. I get one drop a week. No, no, no. Boys can make breast milk. Valkyrie every week for my breast milk from my tits. I get one drop a week. No, no, no. Boys can make breast milk. Valkyrie every week from my own breasts. No, no. I've been reading a book about it. It's like the male lactation.

I got really into making bread at home and making my breast milk. It's the COVID stuff, you know. It's a hobby. Yeah, I watched you guys form your lobby at first, and it started with you trying to get Adam in, which I thought would have been a treat. Adam Smash series, Adam. It's funny, because I didn't try to get him. Oh yeah, she did.

There was a surreal moment where me and Squeak are just talking about the last time we played, and we were three stacking with Adam from the Adam Smash series. I've heard it's the dream stack. And it's the dream stack. When we trio queue, magic happens. Magic happens.

It's a perfect combination of skill sets. And we just brought this up and then Valkyrie was like, wait, what? That sounds great. Invite him, see if he can play. And in my head, I'm laughing. I'm like, I'm listening to Valkyrie invite Adam, like ask Adam, host a Smash Weekly in his basement to the CSGO.

And she was on Vogue. Where was he? And he was he he was running ass. I think I think it was Wednesday. So he had to run the weekly. I think he I think if he had done that, that catapults ass in a way like you've never seen before. Like I think he's made a genuine mistake. I understand that he had to run.

He should have left. But ass runs itself. All right. It's a community. in a way like you've never seen before. Like, I think he's made a genuine mistake. I understand that he had to run ass. But ass runs itself, right? It's a community. You know, so let ass run itself. Make ass fat. Make ass fat by playing with Valkyrie and getting Valkyrie to fund your tournament. Adam, you fucked up.

You know, it was like when we jokingly announced that Armada was going to be at Midlane in Chicago. And Kevin Tenacity was like, that was our biggest week of our entire series. So, you know, it's just gains on the table. Yeah. Ray, Valkyrie is coming to ass in Portland next week. Yeah, you know what? Right now, right here, we talked to her.

Ray, Valkyrie is going to ass in Portland this week on Wednesday. She will be there. She'll be in Adam's basement. She'll be commentating Melee with Bill Shatner. Yeah. Oh man. That'd be cool. We should get like your mega super celebrity friends to commentate on Melee a bit. That'd be kind of fun. Remember that happened at off season. It was a big hit.

Off season. Oh, that was when it was the COD commentators. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They are are different bro. They are better than us When they just walked in and kind of Anything and they're just talking about how insane that the guy with the sword is attacking Pikachu and I was I was locked in it Works. Yeah, we're gonna do a rematch first phase. I show magic happen fast 52. Let's go We're gonna do a rematch first phase. That show match can happen fast 52. Let's go It's the rematch you want them to have the same team. No, I think they want to have the same core They can swap swag if they need but he was like one of their better players. I think about even better player. Yeah Within phase, but if they want to like case on I think case on is probably better. Mm-hmm, then I think that's fair

Yeah, so be Jason Ronaldo adapt. I think they need Jason Ron adapt. Yeah, but their fourth Okay, you want the big what we actually need is a third sport because we've lost a phase in basketball We've defeated phase in Call of Duty, which is hilarious that that's what happened like that How do we beat them in Call of Duty and lose in basketball times are different? Well, they're different Macho is they didn't have macho. I call duty macho of Call of Duty and losing basketball. Times are different. Times are different. Macho is... They didn't have Macho at Call of Duty. That might have changed things. They need a Macho of Call of Duty on that team.

Macho was a trick shotter. Yeah, it might have been saying that. Did he do both? He trick shot in two games? Ludwig was like, you ever cheat a trick shot? He's like, he looked disgusted. That's sore Macho. I didn't see a damn single episode

when I looked it up though. Be real with you. I mean, his clips sucked. That's why he went to basketball. Damn. Get ready to learn basketball. Damn. Filipino legend. Yeah, we need a third game versus them, I guess.

Chess. The blow job off. Yeah. Okay. No, we lose that, bro. They got Lacey. We 100% lose that. We would lose that.

I can't even lie. I can't even lie. There was a clipacey in in in Yugi soccer when he goes, okay loser gets face fucked and then he goes, all right, I'm air balling Emily was still IRL streaming on the court after it was all over and she's playing a game of pig with Yugi or... His tags start with an A. Arki? Arki or Yugi.

Let's not confuse them. No, I don't, I haven't met them before. That's just racist in the most purest form, okay? You can't tell them apart, weird. I could, you know what's funny? Chris made this exact same joke before, like, cause I was, cause they're both zero and one, Arki and Yugi.

Arki also barely ever played. And so Yugi's like, He's got small hands. I was like, Yugi's been playing for so long. Are they going to swap out with the other? And then I was just going to say the other player. He steps in, he's like, oh, the other black guy. As if you jump in to be like, is he the swankiest black guy?

When you're a white guy in that spot, yeah, you you hold that. And I was like, you will be the other black guy. Yeah. Anyway, I think it was our because I think Yugi was a little better at basketball. Yeah. Yeah. And and Emily just comes up to me, Aiden, Aiden, we're playing Pig. And can I spank you? Whoa.

And I was I was like, what? It's like college. Oh, yeah. You know that like Neil deGrasse Tyson clip where he's like flying through the wormhole? I was like, I'm trying to put the pieces together of why does this make sense? Like, is there a cohesive part of the rules? And I said, I mean, it's okay if you spank me But what would it what does it have to do with pig?

Like can you explain to me what that and then she's like no no like like if I lose Then I'll spank you and if Arki loses he'll spank you Which doesn't really explain it I was, Pig doesn't normally have this in it. That's not like a normal. And I was like, why am I the consequence of you losing the game of Pig? And then she loses the next shot and she spanks me on her stream. And heart. I was like, OK, did you did you make a little? Just sucked it a little breath. And then and then I'm like, OK, did you did you make a little this? Just sucked it a little.

And then and then I'm like, OK, it's done. And then 30 seconds pass. And I don't know if Arki like hit the the repeat shot or whatever the rebuttal shot at the end. But then she comes back over. She's like, he has to spank you now. And I was like, what? Well, you just spanked me.

And then he clearly doesn't want to do it. Like, yeah. And I'm just standing there. And then Emily's like, OK, spank him now. This is crazy. Why are you getting all like a 120 pound, five foot two? I don't know. I don't know. I mean, I don't care.

I'm indifferent to being spanked. I don't have I'm just you shouldn't be You shouldn't be you should have an opinion on being I'm actually way more invested by the logic of why I'm being spanked. I'm different on it I would say you can spank me, but I'll swing. Yeah, you spank me, but I might shit I'm gonna go talk to somebody else. Yeah, I'm like, if you smack it, it poops. Find out what's in there. Yeah, I know it's a game for you. I got a mystery box.

I saw her rejecting. Yeah, I was like, what the hell is the classic? I took suspend a minute in her mind would be amazing. It's probably a period for you all the time. That's what I think. No, because I called her before the event started because Elam's team was in disarray. I don't think people knew what they were getting into.

So I wanted to call every person on Elam's team and be like, what do you think is happening? So I do this and I call Emily and we're talking and she's instantly she's like, she's Emily, as you know, are on stream. She's like, hi, Ludwig. And I'm like, I'm like, hi. And we're talking for like a minute, a minute passes. She goes, wait, are you live?

And I go, no, I'm just like in my car. She goes, oh, I'm not live. And then, and then there's a tone shift. Whoa. She goes, hello. Tell me again what you were discussing. If you guys notice Aiden'siden's gone is because I cooked him and ate him.

I put him in a big cauldron and chopped some carrots. You can't eat our friend Aiden. He's gone forever now. You could. It's not a lot of fat on the bone there. It's good macros. Oh, the macros are insane. Well, you know what you're not even thinking about?

What? How long is it going to last you? Well, I mean, it was a delicious meal. It's one meal. He makes about one meal. That's one meal. Body's content. You get one meal. That's it. One meal? Uh, well, I mean it was a delicious meal. It's one meal. He makes about one meal. That's one meal? With his whole body's content. You get one meal and that's it.

One meal? Oh, he screamed so much. It was so annoying. You can only make, you can only make, uh, Aiden, Aiden soup. Goulash. There's only one recipe. How many meals do you think I would give you if you were to eat me? Oh, you'd give me probably like a good like three, three squares. So, what if I told you there was 15,000 recipes that could be sent directly to your house with the ingredients For you to cook instead of having to eat boiled Aiden what yes

It's really root look the thing about hungry root is they hold ingredients to highest standards and they avoid additives like high fructose corn syrup and and That was one thing about Aiden is that he had a lot of additives in him. Yeah. It was disgusting. Oh, yeah. And also Aiden takes like three hours to cook because you have to marinate him to get rid of the smell. Yeah, he had preserved sweeteners. Hungry just 15 minutes or less. 15 minutes or less to prepare?

To make and prepare and eat. How long did it take to make it in Aiden? Oh, I had to boil him. I was slow, slow and low and slow off the bone for about eight hours. If you want to take advantage of this exclusive offer for a limited time, get 40% off the first box, plus a free item in every box for life. Go to hungaryout.com slash the yard and use code, use code the yard. That's hungaryout.com slash the yard, code the yard. You get 40% off your first box and a free item of your choice for life Okay, yeah dot com slash the yard code the yard get your get your first box Well, and also free item for life. That's what Aiden doesn't have anymore. Let's go

Because he's cuz I ate him in my tummy never coming back his ghosts and habits my bones Let's listen to his last words before he died. He turns into a Southern oil man. I wish I could have that kind of happiness, man. Wait, blissfully live all the time? Yeah, I'm just dancing on stream. You do, it's called playing League of Legends. It's your blissful joy. Oh, it does make me happy.

It's your blissful joy. It's so fun. You were watching MSI yesterday and he's just explaining to Zipper2, arm over the shoulder. He's like, ugh. Fuck off. It's like, you gotta stop it's like, you kind of stop explaining.

The people so she was like, how does this work space? Right. So like these towers, they have to be like, destroy. She was like, how many she was like, how many kills do you need to win the game? It doesn't work like that. And then and then and then he's like, and he's like, oh, by the way, hey, by the way, those things up there, that's the game count. She also asked, where's the game count?

I don't know. I'm not saying she didn't say it. I'm just saying what you said. I like explaining things. Yeah. Yes, I'm bronze and I talk like I'm fucking challenger, which is weird because it's like kind of reminiscent of my potential potentially. But no, bro, she asked. Oh, you ask, you know what I say?

I fucking respond. I listen. I respond. You respond. I would say this is too much for you. I wonder if she was like, what are the big tower things? And then just goes back to work on her laptop. Yeah, yeah. And just like the white noise just like washes over.

She's got my credit card plugged into a website where she buys a million cars and furniture while I talk. Speaking of explaining video games, I explained Uma Musume Prettyuri Di Derby to Chris and he He was he was at the same time Fascinated and also disgusted and he kept asking questions and my answers were just more and more absurd what I'm just explaining the game Right and it was it was a great and you're open-minded to his love of basketball But why is he not open-minded to your love of Uma Musume Puditi Derby?

Why? Why is there a stigma here? It doesn't make sense. You know the one's addicted, bro. He's playing on the peloton. No! Yeah, but that's because he has his phone. Because he's also wearing a tail on the peloton. He's wearing a tail. There's a little fan that blows it up so it feels like he's on the track.

It's a great peloton game. Yeah. Because you rarely have to click. Well, you can kind of race with him, I feel like. Yes. Yeah, like, rice showers. God. He was saying, he's like, I don't even watch the race anymore.

View results. View results. View results. Yeah, there's no point. Once you're really that deep, it's just about the results, not even about the enjoyment of the race. No. It's all computer code. He spreadsheet maxed it. You know Harurar. Ah did win a race. Yes, man. Everyone knows that everyone's fucking

Nick does not notice. I don't know it but what the fuck is how you You for all is a Japanese racehorse who went oh in a hundred and fourteen in their career didn't win a race in a decade Yeah the only horse to do this went viral in Japan because When they were oh and 80, the news would start checking in every game. And every game. Took that long for the news to start checking in?

Yeah, yeah. It was like, well, because if you lose 10 races, no one gives a shit. Yeah, but your record has to be so abysmal that you lose again. Because there's so many horses. Yes. And it's so rare to lose 80 in a row. So then they start checking in.

And then eventually the horse retires at 114 With with just no wins ever. Arki numbers. It's Arki season for Haru'urara. And then the owner brought the horse secretly to a retired horse race and then won it. Yeah, no way. Yeah, isn't that cute? Clutching at the Y. Yeah.

And then because of the popularity of Umusume Puriti Dibi, that people now can donate, like pay money to donate to this place where Haruwarara lives, and you can give the horse like special treats. And so the horse is just rolling in. Yeah, they're showering this horse with yummies. Yeah, Japan's lovable loser, that's her. And in the game, the horse girl based on this horse has a scripted loss. Yeah, they have to lose at least one race, which is the only character in the game who has that, which is kind of funny.

Anyway, great game. 100 percent. Dude, we should you should do this at the streamer games. But like actually with horses. Yeah, it's just a bad idea. And we dress up fucking squeaks in like a jockey outfit. Squeaks will be a crazy good jockey. Yeah, extra Emily would be a good jockey. Yeah, she's small. And Maya.

Yep. I'd be a good jockey. Mmm, that horse would be wheezing, brother man. It would look like an impala when the back wheels are down. It'd be like when you got too much speakers and shit in the trunk. Like Rodin. Rodin with his fucking measly horse. It'd be like that Jack Black movie when the girl gets in the car and shallow how shallow how and she tells the whole car

Throws up this is why you guys are the most Why you guys are like the ones who are like the people who make fun of people I the horse threw up on the track because of Ludwig Oggren's stinky nuts Probably curdling on the back of that horse's neck. I'm back to you Tom Zipper two is also mean to me too both of them fuckers. What's your point? I mean she goes she goes I had a dream about you Okay, and then and then I see her later. It was about your stinky curdled nuts? I hope not. The tans if so. I don't even care if I lose the fire tans, I gotta be. No. If my girl dreams about your nuts, say tans, I don't care what happens. Even if they're stinky and curdled?

No, even if they're stinky and curdled, yeah. Because she fucking lowkey loves that. Well sorry, what was your dream about? She was dreaming about, she had a dream that I had a gala thrown for me by Donald J. Trump. Oh, it's a celebration of me. Yeah. Run by Trump. And we had a lion tamer with a lion and the lion was going to come out and kill her at this gala and surprise everybody. And but the lion tamer was drunk. And so we called off, he said, we can't bring out the lion. And then a couple of hours passed. And then I'm like,, we can't bring out the lion. And then a couple hours passed.

And then I'm like, son, I'll bring out the lion. And I was like, you can't bring out the lion. And I go, bring out the lion. The people need a lion. And then it ends. And so it was just like a fucking allegory for perio cart. Wow. That she had.

She's dreaming Aesop's fables. Yes. And I'm saying, bring the lion. Bring it now. Wow. Yeah. And then my stinky nuts weren't even in it. Well, they were there.

Maybe not in the main focus. They're always with you. It's not like they're magically gone. It's not like you left your stinky nuts at home. Maybe she didn't know about them. So it wouldn't even come up. Dude, girls love when we don't shower. No, they don't.

They love when we smell bad and when we eat. It's our natural odor. French people have believed this for years. Oh, yeah. French people actually believe it. And that's like language of love. Yeah, and they do pipe. I think on average more.

Everyone pipes. There's no... Some people don't pipe. Everybody, you know, everybody poops. Everybody pipes. The think on average more. Everyone pipes, man. There's no- Yeah, definitely. Some people don't pipe. Everybody- you know how everybody poops? Everybody pipes. The adult version of that book. I don't think everyone pipes, man. No, not everyone pipes.

I think that's your white privilege speaking. What the fuck? I don't know. Oh my god, I need to check myself. Piping's down. You saying POCs don't pipe? No, they pipe. Alright.

They pipe. Everybody be pipin'. Not everybody be pipin'. be pipe not everybody not everybody Was definitely not piping because those steps Christ those steps would be at least 300 There was a clue him reading the comments on the Spotify of the yard, which are very unhinged We're weirdly yeah the Spotify comments comments get weirdly more mean than anyone else because they're probably like pure anonymous.

Because they have no face to anyone. There's not even an account to follow or anything but he's just reading one he's like, what the fuck, okay you're dead in five years. It was pretty funny. Liam was on stream last night and he was just like, yeah they gave me the yard's like expense thing to like fly there so I booked like the nicest hotel

and like I flew like first class and shit and I was just in chat I happened to be in she did I was like you did what he's like, oh I was like, I was kidding. I didn't do any of that He said he said he stayed at the conrad which is a it's a really nice hotel fucking scammers It's like he fleeced us Yeah, what you couldn't say it a goddamn double tree, Liam? No wonder he's listening to me play League. He's trying to talk about anything but that.

No wonder. Dude, by the way, I realized I think I want to commentate basketball professionally. I'm not kidding. It is so fun and so easy. If I just learned the rules... Would you have two people who really fucking know what they're talking about? No, it wasn't that. It's so easy because the game is like

someone just commented melee for so long, it's way too fast. But basketball, someone gets the ball, they post up, they shoot Aiden for two brick. You're right. It's easy. OK, but you need to do a little more than that. But low key, you don't like, you know, how you mentioned the basketball highlights on the way. But do you know how you mentioned Chris. I listened to basketball highlights on the way. But do you know how you saw Chris see Adam?

Like you mentioned, you saw Chris see Adam make a move and he lit up because he saw that was a good move. That would be hard for you to discern. No one got that. Okay, but most of it was easy because even K-Song did this like weird, cute, like fake step and I was like, oh, we all popped off because it's just so clearly an identifiable intuitive thing. So I guess what are you providing? I provide hype, color commentary.

And then I have Chris, who is like really intelligent and get a basketball. And you need Chris. Yes. Well, I need someone like him. Yes, you need a pro. You need somebody to balance you out. You need a player.

There's always color. There's always play by play. I do think that is a good idea. I think if you had like a knower. You need a knower. That's how, that's all the great duos. Do you know Ernie Johnson? The Muppet? No.

That's like Johnson. Is that lesbian young person with a partner? Ernie Johnson is like, makes the guitar strings. what your ceiling would be. Again, he's a muppet. I don't know what this means. He's a NBA color commentator. Great. Will I be play by play, right?

No, you would not be play by play. Aiden, for two. You just said you were color. I don't know the difference. I need to learn that. OK, well, I learned that it's easy. I was walking. Someone told me that there was an NBA player who was potentially coming to basketball yesterday.

What was his name? Someone Williams. Was it Grant Williams? Grant Williams. Oh, Grant Williams. Yeah. And I was you know, it's kind of cool. I want to see an NBA player in the building. So I'm walking around and I'm very, I'm very tepidly like, should I ask if that's the NBA player?

Is, like, I was like, but I want to know. I was like looking, and then I saw your co-commentator stand up and I'm like, is that the NBA player? And they're like, no. And I'm like, ah, I was kidding. I don't know, joke. Well, there was, there was a guy who was around that worked there and he was really nice and he was really tall and he started playing with us after the event was over and then he wasn't an NBA player but he did play pro and it was whoa and he was like you know the tallest person in the venue. Is there

pro basketball that isn't college or an NBA? So much. Yeah college isn't pro. Most of pro basketball is not NBA. Yeah but pro basketball is those are better players than like the one college students. That's the idea. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I maybe not individually all the time, but the teams collectively. Collectively. But also it depends. Like pro is such a usually it's referred to as overseas and there's like European leagues. Then there's like what's the league called? I guess maybe American pro league. It probably depends on the league, too. But there's a ton of there's like European leagues. Then there's like. What's the league called? I guess maybe it depends.

It probably depends on the league too, but. There's a ton of them. There's many leagues. There's many, many, many leagues. The biggest league after the NBA is the Euro League and the European league is, and that's the Euro league is really good. And I think individual countries also have their own leagues.

And there's like continents of leagues. This guy had played in Central America and like a South American league. And there's like a of leagues. This guy had played in Central America and like a South American league. And there's like a Bosnian basketball league. Yes, there's a Bosnian basketball. I mean, Bosnia might be small enough that they might just have like one pro team for Bosnia. I want to be on that one.

I don't know if they may. Maybe they have a whole league, but maybe it's not like pro. But there's like leagues in, you know, China and Taiwan. And it's interesting because if you go watch Foreign basketball leagues you'll see like like in the Chinese league for example. It'll be like, you know a bunch of Chinese guys and then like a few random black and white guys That's the like ready to learn Chinese. Yeah get ready to learn Chinese buddy It's like you can't and what people will do at the end of their NBA career Sometimes it's like they aren't good enough Maybe they aren't good enough to stay at the level of like playing time or salary

That they're seeking in the NBA or maybe just an NBA team won't pick them up anymore But a Chinese team or a European team will pick them up like Dwight Howard recently played for I think a Taiwanese team And he had won the championship of LeBron in 2020 Man, is there like a version of that for streaming like a retirement home? Get ready to learn Chinese, buddy. There are not really. I mean, like because there's not like a the idea is that the level of talent

you need to be to compete in the NBA is so high that you're going to what is still pro, which is still better, like way, way, way better than, you know, the average player, like a like a very very much professional, but like not NBA level. I don't think that exists for like a streaming site. It's not like a baby streaming site that you can succeed on. Oh yeah, like an old folks home where like you play slower games and do slower IRL content. Yeah, and the competition on the website is smaller. Do you eat oatmeal? No, there's... we go Billy Billy.

No, because like the competition for Billy Billy is still high. It is. Yeah, of course. There's more people. This is I don't know how viable this move is anymore, but there were some content creators over the years that were like they were just struggling to make it on Instagram or YouTube. Like, you know, it's stuck in that phase where you're successful enough to do it part time or full time, but you're not actually making very much money.

You're not making more than you might with a regular job. So they would pivot, like learn a really tiny amount of Chinese and then try to make it on Chinese social media sites based on the novelty of not being Chinese, but being able to speak it. Oh, wow. So there was one specific guy, I can't remember his name, but he doesn't know how to speak fluently,

but he just learned how to impersonate popular Chinese songs really, really well. And his whole thing was he just made Chinese covers of music. It's white boy does impeccable Chinese. Yeah. He had like a wire interview. So you're saying Nick Mullen has a streaming career on Billy Billy. Yeah.

Yeah. That is that if that can happen, then anything can happen. But it's so niche. Like it's not like overseas basketball where there's more people doing that than the NBA. Yeah. What are you gonna do? By the way guys, me and slime are about to be massive celebrities in Hollywood. Okay.

Okay. Oh! I forgot! We're about to be just, like, you two are fucking, we're leaving you guys. We're gonna blow up and act like we did not know you guys. We got asked to be extras in a movie, in a film. A picture. A picture even. And we were there, we were waiting for our time to, you know, drink beers in the background, do whatever.

And they were like, hey, guys, we actually have more in store for you today. We want you to have some action and we want you to be in the close up. Oh, also, we had lines and we had lines. We had wild lines. Kind of crazy. Yeah. So why are you like, just do your thing? They trusted us. Immediately trusted us. They were like, yeah, you guys just do your thing. And so we had to hold back on our little celebrity called Eric Rahill.

I don't know if you know him. We had to hold him back in a bar fight. He's about to be the biggest celebrity in the world By popularity and size and it's like a horse name. Yep And we were breaking up the bar fight and mean slime are like holding this guy back Well, he delivers them really the main lines you're listening to but then mean slime would throw out like whoa Chill you guys good chill, dude good and I don't know man yeah I'm excited this is my brain. First off excited for you too second off I know it's a small shoot what are you talking about because there's no way you would be allowed to

have lines if it was a sag shoot so it wasn't a sag shoot. This guy doesn't know the business. He just doesn't know the business. He thinks it's a sag. He thinks it's one of the sag shoots. He thinks it's like, oh, it's got to be sag, it's got to be Union, it's got to be all some shit. Like I'm not in the fucking Union. Like we haven't hired extras and not paid them. Like I'm not in the Union, bro. Okay, so you're saying two different arguments. He's saying he's in the Union.

You're saying we haven't done that. We don't do that because we're a small fucking shoot that's not sag. We need to get our story straight. He's like the better call Saul of this. Everyone thinks he's in the Union. He faked all his paperwork. So you're pretending you're in the Union caught? It's like dude, it's like she it's like lying on a job interview. It's like yeah, I went to Harvard

What are you gonna do? But we're gonna bust the you know, how much shut out how much scry the oh? Money the money the money thing comes later money's not important Your type did you get paid though? Yeah We got paid in the opportunity. You're talking about money? Yeah, cash. Being able to be on camera. Time is money in a way.

So it's like. Oh yeah. And you gave it. And we used the time valuably. So you gave them money. When people watch us, they take their time to watch us. So we're getting paid in their time. This isn't going to be your most critical moment.

What does that even mean? Who is that? Do you know how he blew up? No. getting paid in their time. This isn't going to be your moist critical moment. What does that even mean? Who is that? Do you know how he blew up? No. He was an extra in the Hunger Games movies. What? This was like a big blow.

I mean, he was a big YouTuber, but then this like catapulted him even further. I didn't know that at all. He was like a Call of Duty commentator, and then he went to like Variety, and then he was an extra in the Hunger Games. I was watching way before the Call of Duty stuff. I was watching it in middle school. That's why I'm confused. He was a big YouTuber before that. Yeah, but like-

His co-op voiceover? He was definitely a big YouTuber, yeah, to be fair. Cyclonauts. But I think this was like, this was huge. I think this was his first video crack time. I think he has a very clear defining line in his head between being big on the internet and being big in real life And he's constantly trying to like cross over to that line.

He's trying to be like us because now we're big in real life. Yeah, it's like Luca Donchik's about to send a really weird video to us, too It wasn't a weird video, bro. It's my boy. Dude, get him on here, bro. I would never get him on here. Come on! Cause of him? Why not? I'll step out. Come on. I want you to live your dream.

No, I mean I'll chop it off with Luca. Like we'll do shit on my stream'll step out, come on. I want you to live your dream. No, I mean, I'll chop it up with Luca. Like we'll do shit on my stream for sure. Oh come on, you're such a bitch, bro. It's just not for y'all. Why? Why not? I've been a Fat Mamba fan since day one. Since day one.

You call him fat, that's why. You two are too Hollywood for him. Okay, now I'm on your side, because that's probably true. Maybe we are. He doesn't fuck with like the Hollywood sort of, you know. I mean, when you get big, you got to let some shit go. He just manipulated us, I think.

Yeah. So I think we just got masterfully manipulated. He's right. He's right. That's crazy. It'd just be me and Luca chopping it up. Wait, where did you try to get rid of from the picture? You call him fat.

Can you look up one line in the Sopranos? Within seconds call him fat mamba. Reddit calls him that. You said it within seconds. And I copied it. Okay. so should I be parroting Aiden surprisingly bad at basketball? Yeah, whatever, dude. I'm over it. See, 90 minutes and he's fucking clean. That's impressive. I love it. That's impressive.

I love it. That's impressive. I got to give it to him. And I was glad I got ahead of that story to be there with him. Are you Voltae? Hmm. Ankle. Ankle. Did you find a zipper. I'm probably out. What do you ask for? I missed it to the river.

Can you look up one line on the Sopranos? On YouTube, one is it called? Was it a line that it's just just I'm I'm helping out by just saying what I need Googled and then it'll show up. There it is. So click that this guy's name is Eric Weiner or wiener. That's definitely Weiner. Can you hit pause?

He was in a show on MTV, which actually pretty good, called Scratch and Burn. And it was like a musical, like rap comedy show. I liked it, but I was a teenager. Anyway, this guy, he had one line on Sopranos. But before that, he was like a comedy guy. He's really funny. So and you've been watching the Sopranos while I brought this up. I don't know if you've seen this episode, but, uh, he was in an episode and then he made this, this is 2008.

You can play it. Probably best known for my part on The Sopranos. So here's a little story about that. And so he has a whole, uh, music video. Anyway, can you skip ahead to where he's like looking like a construction worker? Yeah. Keep going. There, there. Okay, go back. Yeah right there Take your break Leon take your break Leon take your break it do

So yeah, that's it yeah, he's a guy, he's like, Leon, take your brick it too. And it was kind of his big break. And he's still getting residuals. And he's still getting residuals, I would hope so. Damn. That's like, Jason Nash was on Drake and Josh. He had like one line as a waiter. Who is that?

Jason Nash is a YouTuber, he's part of the David Dobrik Vogue Squad. But that's mostly irrelevant. The dude who's like way too old to be hanging out with exactly right? Yeah, and he it's crazy You had he was a dragon Josh. He had a line on Drake and Josh show kids show He was a waiter and he like slipped on a banana peel or some shit and fell and like drop spaghetti or something That's awesome. That's gonna be us gonna be us. Yeah, we were way more revolting in what's in the scene. We were like, oh, yeah Yeah, here it is. Here it is. He looks like Willem Dafoe.

And it's so that is that is so long ago as well. He was not that old here. He's like your age. 35 probably. That's a hard 35. I don't know. He doesn't look bad at all. It was another 35 year old man.

Is that okay? It looks like the same. We're looking at a grainy screen. It's so fucking rich that you guys liked to argue about how you don't fucking objectify in our mean to people for 30 minutes when you two just constantly do it. Every opportunity available. It was a hard 35. Do you know what people say about me?

Why does that give you the right to fire back? What does it not? Is it not the only reason? It's older than all of the right to defend itself. What does it not? Is it not the only reason? Wow, so I'm Israel now. Yeah, that's what you are. That's awesome. That's what you are The second time you've been Israel on this podcast That's not true Wait, no, both times I vehemently rejected the acknowledgement Once we're off the potty he's like, yes

Loki though. I was just gonna say that Josh doesn't get residuals. Uh, yeah. But Jason Nash does. And that was his one scene. I will never forget being in the line for a house party in Seattle. And a girl told me that I reminded her of Jason Nash.

I was 22. That's so mean. Unless that was reallyest shit that they've ever said to you. Unless that was really nice because it wasn't based off your looks, it was just based off your personality. I think it was based off of the conversation we had had. Because he was the funny one in the vlog squad. He's 52. Yeah.

That's, that's Unc. He's probably a vibe, honestly, we're not too much. It's not Unc, it's just a father. Sure. David Darroch's 28. He's a pretty young damn you he mocks you You either said yeah, 28 still young ever let go of that now. You're gonna be 29 in like bro, bro I'm 28. I'm 28. You're always saying you're old you're 30 What do you said he's not me nine so soon? Yeah, you'll forget probably Yeah, we're gonna be celebrities we're very close I'm excited for you that shit releases yeah, we quit and they'll definitely use our shots

I'm down. Oh god. They might not you guys. They don't will you guys remember me? We'll forget about you pretty quickly, but I'll like I think if I did remember you it would only hinder my career I'd probably remember the ways that you held me back and didn't hug me that he will hold you back Yeah, you might didn't hug his fair. Yeah held you back I didn't hold did not hugging me held me back until it motivated me to go out and make a fucking damn Acting career of my own. Yeah, they didn't get in a picture. Yeah, but not on purpose. You didn't like I'm on that motivation I found the motivation. You don't get a whole bag hugs because I know that fires you up. Yeah master manipulator master manipulator. That's what you do

I fire you up. Yeah, what uh, yeah, my mom has to come fight my battles My mom has to be like you hug him more because they actually low-key fucking bothers. She's like she's like a warrior princess What's that about? She's like that That's what we don't she is she's like that. Yeah, like a beautiful Princess like gazing off like you lost in like a trance of his mom. Yeah, he's Nick's mom It's mom beautiful beautiful warrior princess No, don't don't don't don't know cuz it's gonna be hands, but you look at her the wrong way, bro It's you're not gonna like that side of me. She should come in but he didn't say he didn't say

Because she's not far away. That was first name. You could just say I call her word princess I'm damn face on though this damn podcast think we're scared of that I had to come in by the way I walked in here and She's like doing more shit around the office fixing it up making it look nice She insulates like so you don't like my layout, huh? And then she punches me in the arm like seven times. Were they hard punches?

They were pretty hard. And I said, you know what? I deserve that. Did you swing back? Maybe another one. But then he continued to levy criticism. I we talked about it because I don't run away from shit. I don't run away from conflict.

I'm like, you know what? Let's talk about it. Here's what I think. And she's like, here's what I think. And then Aidan chimes in with his fucking earbuds. And I'm like, who is talking to you? You make decisions here. You're basically a slave. You know, he is not.

I tried to do with the opposite. I was because they're going back and forth about the layout. And I looked over at her and I was like, just so you know, he doesn't have any say in the sheet. She was like instantly like, oh, I know. I'm not about to say to her. She just was like instantly like, Oh, I know. About to say to her, she just wants to prove the principle. And I know. And that's why she's a that's in our blood. Powerful warrior queen.

Why does that bother you? I don't like the way he's approaching saying it. What is your problem? Would you prefer she's not Benjamin? Bye, man. Our friend Ben is leaving off camera. Well, what? I'll go on, dude. Oh line. Dude, oh my god. Hug line.

That's crazy. Don't look, don't look, don't look, don't look. Got up to give him a hug. Don't look, don't look. While working. They just talked, they just talked, they just talked. Got up. Fuck all, I guess I'll do it too.

Wait, now I gotta hug Ben too? Yeah, I start shit like that. Ugh, okay, we're gonna, we're running a train on Ben. I start shit like that. Running a train on Ben. I start shit like that. Yeah guys, we have fucking friends that we love. Real friends. Yeah, we have friends that we love, that we give awesome hugs and we cherish.

Except... Nick's been doing this thing where he speaks in just the worst Potwa accent, saying words that don't make any sense. Yeah, like when T1 was going for Atacon. Yeah. What'd you say? Atacon. Yes. Right. That is rough. He kept doing it with more and more shit. More gusto. More gusto, more confidence.

Well, I mean, this is how you ended up on Nasty Gal knocked me off the track. No, because I'm using terms that are that are Pot-twannies at their core. Whoa, what? Jesus, man. Dude, you cannot be saying I can't even get it out. Pot twice. Better, better. So much better. OK, sure. So you're so you know, I get it.

He's just saying Atticon. Yeah, I say it like I said it. Atticon. What is that? That was saying it like he said it. He asked me to say it like he said it. No, that's not how he said it. You know what? We need Jar Jar Binks back.

Jar Jar Binks has culturally took all the heat off of this shit. He gave me a thousand years. He took all the heat? I think he brought me- A thousand years of tries. I'd never get what he was going to say next. That was crazy. I was so out of it.

No, he's right. Jar Jar Binks, bro, I was in fourth grade when Jar Jar Binks came out. Everyone was doing that damn voice. Yeah, it was hot as hell. Everyone was Meesa Thinksing. You're right. And no one had a problem with it. No, in small town Colorado. I'll say that.

He's saying that Jar Jar took all the heat. So people had a problem with it, but it went to Jar Jar. It was like that meme that gets you a soldier. George Lucas is the soldier. No, Jar Jar is the soldier taking the arrows to the back and we're sleeping safely doing our Patois accent. And Jar Jar is taking all the heat and we can say Atticon and no one cares.

I was also saying, here I come, I am Baron Nashor. Yeah, so the power's racist, right? Bro, you should play DJ in Street Fighter. I almost played DJ because of his lines. Except he's a charge character. But he goes, BANG BANG! And it's so satisfying. He also fell asleep game 5 of MSI 5.

I took a cat nap. You sound like a fucking nightmare. Game fucking 5? It's just, I ruin games 1 through 4 with that's why that I fall asleep. I wake up and I'm like, League sucks. Who won? It's just I ruin games one through four with that's why that I fall Like Lee sucks Genji one

Yeah Does he I think so yeah, I love it was talking filthy about faker love it was like faker sucks He's not even top five. I've never said this. I've never said this. You did you were like You like he's watched when people say that figures like actually not that good He's not even top 5. What the fuck's the problem with you? I've never said this. I've never said this. You did. You were like, Faker's not even top 5. I didn't say he sucks. You were like, he's washed. When people say that Faker's actually not that good, it's like when Otani has one bad game.

No. It's like he won last year. I'm totally understanding of this, but I think Faker is being described as the best player still currently in the world. He's not the best player. Which he is not. Okay. Yes. Okay, I see. So that's it.

No, but he was like, he's not even top five. There's an argument. You can't say it's like people say this season in season out, but his team keeps winning. Yeah, I think it's because he is the best member of his team and knows how to fucking win. But he's not top five important. I should say, he's not. But he's in the top five. I should say, Lumber saying he's not even the best on his team.

What are you saying? Well, Kerry is kind of nasty. But Kelby put me on game. He set me straight. Gave you a little history lesson. Gave me a little, he gave me a little herstory lesson. Yeah, he put you on his knee, gave you a little unk wisdom. He balanced you up on his knee.

And now I'm giving respect, but he's not even the, he's not the best mid laner. I mean, I don't know much. Uchovy? Yeah, the guy who just won. Yeah, it's more like why are we taking shots at Faker? I'm not taking shots. It's just when people are in the room who don't understand League, you go, yeah, that's the best player in the world. No, you can't let that go.

He hasn't been the best player in the world in a long time. I mean, yeah. Imagine how awesome it would be if T1 just had a fat white guy on the team. Just one. Yeah, like Bob from Tekken. It's like, man, he's just... He's just different. We had to draft him.

I don't know what to say. There aren't many fat league players. Yeah, because the game takes so much mental energy. You burn calories at an insane rate. Yeah, and you also don't eat all day. That's actually true. I lost weight when I was bombing 10 hours a league a day because I just didn't eat.

It was sick. League is a hard game to eat while you play. It's like cigarettes. And also you're not going to eat between, you're going to pop queue. You're tilted or you're excited or you're going to pop queue. The dopamine cycle keeps you away from food. I was so proud of myself.

Last night I played two games, played horrendous, lost both. Wanted to play a third because I D-ranked ranked and then I was in queue and then I stopped the queue I said, that's bedtime. That's really dude Brian F. I remember this. I was playing Street Fighter last night I'm in a call with fucking Alex and the whole chuckle fuck gang and they're just like they're saying like ha ha Iran has nukes and shit like that and I'm'm like trying to play, but I also want to just, I just want to hear people talk. And I'm like tilted, I'm losing to people. And I'm like, Brian F always told me, never ever tilt Q.

You never win if you tilt Q. So I would mentally reset every time I talked to the guys, I'd say some funny shit. I'd reset, come back, Q again. I'd wait. And it really helped me. And I lost MR that night, but it doesn't matter But you know what it felt better yeah, but maybe you would have lost more I probably lost more

I probably would have plummeted with my damn cami. I'm 1400 right now. Bo's in the house Why don't you plummet your little asses into the Patreon episode, which we're about to go to. Fall like in the Mortal Kombat, like in Mortal Kombat 4 when it's the game over screen and you're just falling and falling and falling and falling and falling. Into the trap. Into our content. Fall into our content forever. That you have to pay for. Yeah, RG, can you play it at the end and then it lands on the spikes? Goodbye.

You guys are surprisingly cheap by not paying to the Patreon. True.