The Yard - Ep. 21 - We made an insane merch item...

Episode Date: November 24, 2021

This week we sure as hell have an episode for your ear holes. Ludwig and Aiden find themselves at cringe con (the Arcane finale party), Slime talks about visiting Atrioc's dad, and the boys discuss esports Doug and his secrets under the caster table.

Dude, I hate the percentage breakdown Americans do. I like sound. That's why I think it's so funny. Because you'd be in school, and some fucking kid would be like, Oh yeah, I'm 20% German, 5% Spanish. And then always, I'm a drop Native American. Yeah. I'm 100% real, 0% fake.

And my eighth grade classmate, Elizabeth Warren. Yeah. That's a true story. This week, the new Halo came out, and I uh i wanted to play it so i downloaded it on steam as you do as a gamer but then it doesn't let you sign in unless you use your xbox account and i'm like fucking knuckles cracked and i'm like i had to go dig up my my laptop from high school so i could get my password yeah for my account because i didn't know and you're like i didn't even know these were slurs i so i type i type in a bunch of slurs in spanish which is weird and i typed in chihuahua

i actually just tried random slurs in spanish and it got me right in uh it actually congratulated me what's up welcome to the yard welcome back to the yard hey and uh i realized like while we were playing that a couple of our friends who I was playing with were doing the exact same thing as me, like getting on their old Xbox accounts from high school. And so it was like me, Mike, Eric, and we're all in a game. And it's just all of our old gamer tags. And then we're playing Halo and I'm like screaming at kids who can't hear me about grenades and shit. And I was like time is a flat circle. Yeah.

I'm just back where I was 10 years ago. Did you log in and have any of your old fabled friends on the list? All of them. Were you on Halo and then FaZe Banks was also online? Dude, I got on and I had so many old friends that were online now that I haven't talked to in 11 years. Did anyone hit you up? I was playing Halo. No. No one hit me up. No new friends. Nobody wants to talk

to Zany Sidekick. To be honest, people start hitting me up. To be honest, I guess I don't know. I don't know because I'm logged into the Halo client. There's no way to message me. Sure. No, no, no. Yeah. There is no way. Hold on. You can't message me. Sure. Yeah. No, no, no. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

There is no way. Hold on. No, you can't do it. You can't message me. Microsoft hasn't figured out messaging. Yeah, they don't have that. They're really far behind on it. So it's just like you do it in the Xbox client, which I don't have. It's just in the Halo client.

But what I learned from playing Halo, a very small amount of people care about this. So it's like there's this really annoying thing that if you downloaded Halo, the new Halo Infinite, through the Steam library library but your friends downloaded it through the xbox library you actually have no way to invite each other really it's it was so annoying you can't like type in their name the only way we were playing with each other last night was one of our friends had both and he was able to invite everyone in his body of both halo versions yeah so i'mging two scenes together so like when you open up like invite someone

in the client you have two options Steam if you're logged in through Steam or Discord it'll integrated send someone a Discord message that you can like join through that but it literally doesn't work unless you're already using the same back end like Xbox or Steam

and we were just like trying to play a fucking video game together in the year 2021 and having problems it's weird i don't barely figure that out they did they also turned on their bluetooth you in the switch could i get your could i get your friend code later i figured out your 16 could i get your 12 digits random generated string that we use to identify each other? Hey, kid, I just need your friend code. Just go to your dad's computer and look for the thing that says BTC wallet. Yeah. Send me that string of numbers, and we'll play Smash together.

If you turn the back of the card, there's a best friend code, and it's only three numbers. That's how you get Sonic in the game. Yeah, my old Xbox, I don't know if I ever told you guys, was Throbbing Williams. That's how you get Sonic in the game. Yeah, my old Xbox, I don't know if I ever told you guys, was Throbbing Williams. That's tight. The problem was that... He died? So there's 15...

Yeah, that is a problem for it. 2011 is not as funny. They were like, oh, come on. No, there was 15 characters, and I had to cut one character with no spaces, and so I cut the B in Throbbing, and people kept calling me Throbin Williams. And I would get so mad.

Wait, why can't you just do one L in Williams? Because I thought that would be less. I was an English kid, all right? Right, right. I was like, that can't. That's not. That doesn't make sense. That was the word I chose to cut.

And yeah, it pissed me off every single time. And I took the name from like CS Source. There was all these funny names in CS Source. I just took it from that. Jobin. Did you guys ever have like a fable or an internet lie on IGN that you fell for? Like in a character in Smash? Did you have a specific like...

Like for me, I tried pretty fucking hard to get Sonic and Melee when I was a kid. Oh, yeah? I tried everything. No, but you know what happened? You know what was one of the formative moments of me like becoming the angry old shit that i am and and trying to pass that experience it was power nine it was 2019 oh when i beat adar oh shit when i got seventh bro let's go dude what's up the b8r club we're don't know if we still play. We're not doing that. So, no.

It was GameWinners.com forums, okay? I sign up as OmniSlasher777. That's sick. Because I liked Final Fantasy. I go in, and I go into a thread where everyone is arguing about the relationship between Sony and Nintendo. At the time, very good. You want to give your opinion? Very contentious issue. No, I didn't.

I wanted to go in and tell everyone where they could get free final fantasy 7 midi music files that i found because i like the music so much i interrupted a discussion someone goes off on me literally a paragraph talking about how fucking stupid i am how my name is an original how this has nothing to do with anything how like you're new here like shut the fuck up and it changed me for my life dude you have you have like stockholm syndrome or something like or like you not stockholm syndrome like you you like this guy is you no no but here's the thing he was the cute bubbly spongebob and he came up and he's like flower who's the every everything that guy did is what you would do i know if we were talking in a discord and then like someone

came in and like posted a Spongebob meme. Listen to me. He's the bad guy in Incredibles. That changed me. Your syndrome. Yeah, but I do that now because that made me very aware of how I speak to people. So now I do the same thing. Do you know the guy's name?

Do you remember it? Fuck no. Absolutely not. Esports Doug. I was traumatized. I changed my account immediately. Oh my god. Esports Doug.

It was Esports Doug. I changed my account immediately. Oh my god. It was EsportsDoug. Hey. God, dude. I was PokeMasterCalvin on forums when I was a kid, so I'm in the bucket of bad names. Are you in Smashboards? You're in Smashboards? I think I'm just Calvin on that one, though. I joined Smashboards pretty late.

On the topic of gamer tags online and using the character limit to your advantage the one good thing maybe about we online that the other consoles did not have is that you could use like a way broader keyboard for your for your tags uh you could use like like greek letters like japanese text like a bunch of special symbols yeah and uh it was really easy to make the mario ascii yeah where he's the face and then his body is a shaft and balls that's the piranha plant with just his cock out and then mario this is the name not the me people did do that people would get to the top of leaderboards with like dick face me's and like god bless them yeah and they'd and they'd rock that but uh in the scene on their back they had a shorter character limit the the me's had 10 10 characters so you had to get a little creative

and i remember one that stood out to me when i was a kid uh somebody used like the infinity symbol to spell out i love boobs on the mario strikers leaderboard that's tight and he meant forever it was it was meant to be a thing yeah that dude loves boobs yeah he really does dude it's like how do i solve this puzzle dude i played i played a uh normie quiplash this weekend uh because my my jackbox game yeah and i made my name boob liker and the room the room lost it they were like i think that's fun. I would laugh at poop right now. And then we played. I took a... Universal joke.

I actually took a photo. I took a photo of one of the screens in our game, and I was... It felt a little mean. I wanted to, like, tweet it out, but it was just... All right, prison would be actually super fun if it only had blank,

and then the answers were strippers and donuts. And I was like, I am in the eighth layer of hell. Dude. Have you ever played Quiplash or, like, Jackbox with, like, a group of people who, like, don't have the eighth layer of hell. Dude. Have you ever played Quiplash or like Jackbox with like a group of people who like don't have the exact same sense of humor with you? Yeah, I played with Minecrafters.

Dude, it's so hard. Carl Jacobs invited me when I was over there at North Carolina and I was playing with him. And you know, like generally, I think I got along really well with Carl, but I didn't know the other people in the group as well. And so like, you know, it was fine. Like it was mostly talking

about like there's this 15 year old named glaive who kept calling me a boomer the same way I would call yeah you want to fight him yeah yeah oh no he said he wanted to fight me and I couldn't right I couldn't return please I'll get a felony that's right yeah when you turn 18 glaive we're gonna beat this shit

no no no you but we are going to you no we're not we swear i'm not gonna do that linguine is making a pasta dish it's for fun i won't be participating in this me neither won't be able to walk go ahead so the one thing i went for i was like okay i want to win right because it's getting kind of thrashed minecraft audience kept voting the minecraft guys and i was like all right i got this i put ACAB with five exclamation points on like a totally random answer, like something that no one wanted to answer.

It was like so funny. And then I didn't expect this. Riots ensued. I thought like 100% of Minecraft chat would be like, yeah, ACAB. But some were like, you know, my cop's a dad. My cop's a dad. My dad's a cop. Of course, they're minecrafters of course their parents are fucking cops dude i i wonder that it's an interesting demo breakdown yeah it didn't

really work as well as i thought it was they're only allowed to play minecraft because notch is like kind of aligned with the cop movement because minecraft is about like owning your land and like killing people that come to it yeah so it's a a very liberal I wouldn't say that's what it's well I'm just saying like if you're little minecraft kids now are gonna grow up to be libertarian I want this video I say and do why my craft 100 percent only two things it's about it's about blood all over your hands and body And it's about the cool the crunchy noise it makes when you get a flower Yeah, you can you hit it and when you smoke the crack that the government can't stop you from smoking you go

the government is putting crack into the minecraft neighborhoods minecraft ronald reagan i'm picturing the two the two versions of this where like the minecrafters are the libertbertarians the speedrunners are the communists yeah there's a lot going on there. Speedrunners are the communists. But at the end of the day it's all about resource gathering and smiting your enemies. At the end of the day gamers could not run society

we had a private BTS discord server or sorry BTS Minecraft server. Beyond the summit by the way yeah beyond the summit and whenever I play Minecraft it's like I know I'm not gonna be there for long like I get in I build a house out of or sorry, BTS Minecraft server. Beyond the Summit, by the way. Beyond the Summit. And whenever I play Minecraft, it's like, I know I'm not going to be there for long. Like I get in,

I build a house out of cobblestone or something. I'll make sure. Yeah, dude. Love you about that. And this time I was like, I'm going to get a little fancy because the server was pretty big. So I built a scavenger hunt

in the server that was basically like, I just put a sign in the middle of town that had a clue and there was like five more of those and then there was like a hundred dollar like amazon's gift card at the end of it really you got it yeah that's pretty cool and um and so in this server was gunner the dota player who i've never spoken to and i only know through playing

professional dota or like in videos i've had to edit and And one day, I just randomly get a Discord DM from him that's like, hey, the first clue isn't working. And I was like, Minecraft brings everyone together. This is where worlds collide. That's how you know he's a gamer too because he's like,

something's not right. Something's not competing. It was so funny because the first clue was about the TI prize pool. So you know, he's in there like, I know it.

It's not working. And I'm like, you're the problem. The clue's fine. Wait, you're too sweaty for I know it. It's not working. And I'm like, you're the problem. The clue's fine. Well, you're too sweaty for my Minecraft scavenger hunt, bro. I love this little trend of interacting with pro Dota players. This happened the other week. I love your bit of playing particularly Benny Hill music during funny moments while

you play, while you play games. Did I tell you this? Or did you find this out independently? No, go ahead. Maybe this got posted in a discord. You did it with us in Valorant.

No, yeah, yeah. No, but this is a, this is a different thing. So, so this is a,

this is a thing Anthony used to do in games where like, he'd have like a shitty, like crazy teammate. Like maybe they've been trolling like the whole game. Someone named like Zeke or something like that. Ezekiel, maybe, if you were sending that out. That's just one you've thrown out there, though.

That's not associated. This is just an invisible person. An example of someone whose play is so bad they deserve it. The name is meant to make you feel like it's believable. Very believable situation. They'd be 1v4ing and you know failing the majority of the time while the Benny Hill music plays yeah I would play Benny Hill music but Quinn Quinn who's probably maybe the best best

Dota player in NA yeah uh was playing Dota pubs and uh was just you know was just playing you know he's a pro player he's better than everybody else in the lobby and uh the game is not going well and he starts like after he dies one time he starts like spectating one of his teammates that he's like mad at and he just fucking turns on the benny hill music and it's like him and his chat it's just like quinn looking at the game and while benny hill plays in the background and his team runs it down. And I'm like, this is Anthony's bit. And there's enough crossover that Quinn probably got that bit from watching you. He literally did.

Yeah. Because I saw him in chat. Oh. He would just randomly be in my chat. And then it'd be like, and it's when gamer gods like, I don't know. There's still this little kid inside of me that's like, holy shit, like, a person who's really sick of video games thinks I'm funny, and that makes me happy.

Like, Tweek, right? When I heard Tweek like the yard, I was like, that was sick. That's awesome. Yeah, because they are skilled at something in this world. Or when you watched the Red Bull OG documentary one night, and you found out Jerax is a Ludbud. That's crazy. Which is just hilarious.

I was so mad at Ludwig. Because Ludwig's like, dude, Dota's sick. I love OG, and I love Jerax, bro. night and you found out jerax is a lud but that's crazy which is just so hilarious because ludwig's like i'm the biggest i love og and i love jerax bro he's so sick and i'm like you piece of shit there's no shit about the world fuck your bro dude me and lovey were rock climbing like two days ago and we're like halfway through the session he bumps me no one's recognized me did you say it like sad no i said it i said he said it like no the exact quote he said great session i went yeah and no one recognized me because he hates when people recognize okay okay that's why i said i see i see it was just funny i'm like go fuck yourself we could have just left and that could have been something that happened do you hate it i i don't hate it he hates

he hates it nothing i could answer why do you hate our fans our fans he gets recognized and they're like yo bro can you take a picture also fucking neck yourself i'm like yeah bro i love this you're a fan of me too right yeah i'll selfie it you don't selfie the picture we'll all be in it yeah it's awesome here's why there is that tiny moment whenever whenever ludwig gets a photo you have this like tiny hope in your head where they're like oh you can come get in the photo too no i've never thought that my goddamn life i mean that i only i only think it when he's getting one like i have no expectation of a photo from anybody if they like come up to meet me by themselves but if they come up to ludwig i'm like please i don't hate when fans come up to ludwig but what i do hate is when they come up

and they do the thing where they're like, bro, do I know you from somewhere? Or like, did we go to high school together? I got hit with the high school together at Rock Climbing. I was like, no shot. And this happens like frequently where it's like they don't want to just say, they don't want to just like admit they know you already. They want to like, they want it to be the interaction like they would have normally with a person who they might know who might know them. Yeah. And they're like, yo, like, dude, is your sister's name fucking this really and i'm there's a shame i'm third partying like

just fucking say it so we can go home i have to be here so much longer because of this goddamn they're talking about him okay i got it they're going up to him they're doing this whole thing until ludwig ludwig literally doesn't care anymore like ludwig will just go like like uh oh i'm a youtuber you do you want a? He'll just say that. And they're like, right. Yeah, I do.

I am much more charming than that. I actually am a really big fan and I actually really do want that photo. Yeah. So I actually remember your whole, I remember you totally didn't go to high school. I remember the subathon now. You, you did the subathon and,

I actually have a hoodie. It's my car. Yeah. You're the best Mario party to a hashtag or explain to my emulator. Could I, could I go, could I go get the hoodie and put it on before we take the photo? Yeah.

You don't do what that means? No, I'm so charming. He's so charming. So charming. But for my person, just knowing him, it's funny whenever he's like instant, you want a picture? Yeah, trying to expedite. Because I'm waiting for the day that they're like, no. A picture is basically my out in an otherwise like, because i don't think they will ever be the one after you take it after you take the photo then it's like really easy to be yeah later bro because

they won't they won't be like all right cool bye so and i don't want to be like all right uh bye because then they might be like uh can i actually get a picture it's like it's their end goal yeah this is this is a really nice segue because this was like a this is a conversation i was having at the at the Arcane Arcane Riot event that me and Eamon went to. That was pretty fun. It was basically Riot's Oh, you weren't invited is what it is.

I know what it is. I was asking so that the viewers could find out in a natural way, but we're going to roast me for it. You didn't know and you want a photo with him. Hey man. I'm a little busy right now. It's basically a Riot sanctioned event for the Arcane series finale, which is their show on Netflix. All right.

That's it. Now that we've got the back of the box read, so you got invited because you're Ludwin Honors? I got invited because I'm Ludwin Honor, and I think they just wanted influencers. It ended up being a larger scope than I thought it would. Because for one, they were premiering the show a few hours early. So whatever.

And that was cool. They had a secret cinema thing, which was an interactive experience. It was borderline cool and cringe, exactly there. They had the entire set remade. It looked amazing. It's like 18 sad dads had assembled. And they had like free alcohol.

How many Caitlyn's does it take to build this? But they had like a bunch of like basically NPCs from the universe role playing. And they'd be like, ah, I'm the snack scratcher. And then they'd come up to you and they'd be like here's your

quest you need to find the agent of zod this sounds like medieval times like when you say on the border of cringe and hype yeah so and they stuck in character and so like this guy came up to us and basically like set me off on a quest line and you have to like go to different like secret doors and like find shimmer which is like their like crack heroin it's drug it's heroin literally this universe wait wait wait so what if you had asked one of these characters like hey you know where i can get a suck job around here like what would they have said they would just have suck in character like i fucked her out a lot no there was it they'd suck it out well oh a suck job i don't know what that is you want to show no no they'd be like like i was literally talking to this guy and he's like i'll talk to that mohawk bitch over there oh shit and i went over the mohawk

bitch and i was like i was like hey i was talking to this guy and she's like what do you say i was like ah and so there's this like foreign guy with me from eu because there's a bunch of people from eu and asia who were there and i was like what did he say again the guy like kind of he's like uh it was mike he's like mohawk bitch yeah he's, he's like, he called you a mohawk bitch. So that's why I was like, it was fun, but it was also, you know, a little cringe at times. Yeah. What did you think about it? Okay, Ava's making a face there.

Yeah, it was, I think if you allowed yourself to get into it, I realized that past the beginning part of the evening, where I thought, like, I'm just going to be interacting with these people for, like, a little bit, there was a whole sort of, like, story that these people, like, walked you through and you became a part of, like, one member of the cast, like, gang in this, like, you know, League of Legends drug war,

which is, you know, dark. I've never played League. I don't know the characters, but I just imagine them, like, walking up and they're like, argh, matey, like, what's up? And then you're like, yeah, man, it's just been, like, really and they're like arg matey like what's up and then you're like uh yeah man it's just been like really hard recently um you know things

aren't going well i feel like i'm losing my sense of self and they're like oh you gotta find the shiver they're like oh arg that's uh you know you need booty or whatever and you're like no i'm being for real right now you better figure out how to open that puzzle up over there connecting to you as a human i just feel like I'm close to the end and I honestly am not fighting it anymore. And then they're like, wait, man, are you all right? And you're like,

ah! You fucking idiot. Oh, you get the big dick shit. Go to the staff that he cracked. Get him out, get him out! The layers that they walk through and the amount that they knew of their characters and also the amount of orchestrated moments

between them and other cast members. Like literally fist fight orchestrated. I was honestly pretty impressed by that part. And that was the part where I felt like it was less cringe. I, however, showed up. I didn't know what the fuck was going on. He was the person who invited me to this. He sent me all of the information

some of which was just straight up inaccurate uh the night before at 1am i don't know what time i'm trying to do that old iphone message that shuts your phone off dude effective power crazy i don't know what i don't know what the event is i don't know what we're going for i know there's some sort of experience i really didn't know i also i asked him this is insane by the way i asked him four times do i need a ticket and you don't know walt to be three times and just kept talking about something else because here's the thing probably not like i don't and if you do i'll get you one day all you need to say is do you have a ticket and then if you don't then i don't need one because we got invited the same way i just assume i go there and if they don't let me in i'll be like okay anyway someone at rye will be in trouble for not letting i don't want to go i don't want to go

down the ludwig communication rabbit hole but that's my preface of this event and i call him before we go because it's like in the evening and i'm like hey dude is there food there and he's like no not really and i'm like this doesn't make any sense this event is from like 4 p.m until midnight and there's nothing to eat like are we supposed to like show up and then walk out go get stuff and come back like i i don't understand and uh because we've been planning on this kind of being like a night out and like eating there and experiencing whatever there is to offer so i show up i'm so fucking hungry and and somebody somebody tells us out there just an ipad and it's it's like uber eats but you can only order taco

bell right we blew a lot of the budget on the mohawk bitch we just didn't have enough for food so and then uh after i get there uh uh monica our friend who who works at Riot, is like, yeah, there definitely is food. And I'm like, why did Ludwig tell me there's not? He's been there for four hours already. He clearly knows that there is food. I'll tell you. So I arrived at two and they had an issue where

the bus with all the people who are visiting from Asia and Europe, which is like, there's like 40 people who flew in for this event. Oh, that's not a lot. I thought it was a crazy amount of people to fly to LA for. They paid for the flights and they're all international.

They like flew, and they were all, for the most part, influencers in some fashion. Looking at a Smash Summit budget sheet, it's a lot of money. It adds up. And so anyway,

the bus arrived 90 minutes late, so we didn't get to go in because it's an immersive experience. Like, they're not just gonna have me hang out with Hienod by myself. You know, the role playing guy. It'd be weird if it's just five people with all like the 20 role players.

Okay. Fucking with you. I sat there for 90 minutes. Then I get in and I'm in the first section for two hours, which has zero food. So for the first four hours I had zero food. And then I messaged you and I went, there's no food. And I asked and they were like, there's popcorn. And I was like, for two hours which has zero food so for the first four hours i had zero food and then i messaged you and i went there's no food and i asked and they were like there's popcorn and i

was like that doesn't count but okay that okay so the whole when you show up you get put into like the the role-playing like section of the you gotta get through tutorial island and tutorial island takes a long time takes a while it's a little five and and you're getting told to like go find the shimmer or whatever and and it's kind of like bro i'm trying to smoke weed i'm so hungry i'm so hungry and the problem is all the people in the building i there's clearly going to be some sort of other section afterwards like there must be more to it than this because there's bars there's you can only drink alcohol in this section i'm like i don't want to drink i just want to eat food i don't want to drink. I just want to eat food. I don't want to talk to character actors.

I want to go get fucking grilled cheese or something. Your Maslow hierarchy pyramid is not being met. And the problem is you can't get an answer from anybody because they're all in fucking character. And Aiden's heart bar is starting to tick down. And they're all just like, I don't know what your rectangle is. Oh, my God. Like shit like that. You're such a whopper, matey.

Can you just tell me when it's over? Some shimmer might satisfy your appetite. And that was the cringe part to me because it was just like, I don't know anything. I just want to know how this works and when I get to go to the next part of the evening. Other than that, very well put together. Very well done. I was psyched personally for the episodes themselves. That was probably the best part.

I was too, and I drank a shit ton of free booze. So this happens. They roll out the episodes in this sort of theater area. Were people dressed up like normal people? Would they come like weirdos? No, most people were just normal. There was one guy who dressed as Chamber. The new Valorant agent.

He was like a Spanish influencer. They all showed up wearing what they wear when they play, which is boxers and then a shirt they put on seven days ago and they have Boba in their hand. Dude, there was a Bobba person who just walked around. It's like, boba?

Yeah, do you want one? That's hype. You know when you go to a tournament or a con, and it's like the big guy with the big guy stance, and they got their shorts on, and they just kind of like, they're swimming in the air. Wait, what's this guy?

I don't know this guy as well as you. very very large like we're finding out the slime is schizophrenia no he's everywhere you guys don't see him he says stuff like he talks all the time it's more like it's always a guy with like his bag there was a fan art that did something like this but it's like his bag of like like little toys and they their Boba and they're just really overweight. And this is like a classic convention style person, but they always like walk with like this extreme, like, like shape. And these are the people that I imagined went, but they were influencers. So that doesn't make sense.

I don't think I've ever seen this guy. I don't know what he's talking about. I'm so searching. That was the funniest way to say that i don't even have a vague idea of what you mean can you give me an example off the record example no off the record nothing nothing is off the record the the episode the first episode rolls. It's like each one is like 45 minutes, right? And I get a text from Ludwig at the end of the first episode. He's like, where are you at? And I like, I text him.

I'm like, I'm in like this row. And I see, I see little Ludwig perk up at the front. Like he kind of looks around like this. And he stands up. He's kind of standing like Ludwig. He's like, he's trying to find this. And he stands up. He's kind of standing like Ludwig. He's like, he's trying to find me

and I'm waving. Ludwig! Ludwig! And he just keeps looking around. He doesn't see me. Does this for four seconds and then goes back on his phone. And then he finally,

he finally, like, locks eyes with me. And he, like, comes over, you know. He's kind of, kind of excited. Oh, he's drunk. I was about to say that.

Exactly. I'm like, something's off. He does move like Jack Sparrow when he's drunk. Or like how he thinks he's Jack Sp I was about exactly. I'm like something something's off. He does move like Jack Sparrow when he's drunk or like how he thinks he's Jack Sparrow. Amen. I'm really drunk.

I fell asleep. You got to tell me what happened. I fell asleep for minute one. I mean until the credit roll. Were you with cutie?

Yeah. Was she just like dealing with that? I mean there's nothing to deal with. I'm just asleep. Why don't you wake you up? I think I would be embarrassed when my dad falls asleep at the movie theater.

I'm embarrassed. Babe, wake up. The nerds are cheering about this. Yeah, I'm the least embarrassing part about that. I don't know if you felt this way, but there's like a guy and they would be like Echo comes on screen like a champ and they go, oh my God. Yeah, that makes me want to pee. It was like I was like at the first

time everyone laughed and then the guy did it eight more times and i was like he got the reward and then he kept giving yeah he wanted more who's fishing wow people were like that i think people were kind of like clappy and excited for things in general but i think there were some like cool moments if you're really into the show i'm trying to think like because i think i don't play league and i think uh that everything you're describing is like oh i wouldn'm trying to think like, because I think, I don't play League and I think that everything you're describing is like, oh, I wouldn't want to go to that. Have you been a Harry Potter premiere?

Yeah. It was kind of like that. Yeah, people on the floor. Dude, my best part of the event is I was recruited, unbeknownst to me, when I accepted to go to the event, to join C9 Sneaky's team

in like this pro influencer like League of Legends and Valorant match. Okay. And so that's what it was. It was on Riot's channel. They had a bunch of pros and influencers on a team together. At the event?

At the event, yeah. We played on the stage in front of people. Not that anyone in the venue gave a shit. But online, they had 170K viewers. Oh, really? I didn't even know this happened. Yeah. That's crazy.

And so I was playing our first league game. We got diced. Not my fault. All right. You know, I had more kills than QT. I was playing support. She was ADC. It sells the story itself.

That means, no, that's bad. That means you were KSing your ADC. Well, you know, I wasn't KSing. I deserve those kills. No, he earned them. I earned them. He was support. Last ceiling.

My hook, my kill. Kill saving. My hook, my kill. This is why women struggle. Then we played Valorant against this Korean team with 5K, who is a former Valorant pro. And I was like, because we just lost. Former? The game's been out like a year.

A length of career, but it came to an end. I played in a couple tournaments in beta. He might still be a pro. I think they had told me he was former, though. And Chuty's never played, obviously. And then I was playing with Meteos, a league pro, who had never played either. I was like, we're going to fucking lose again.

The other four people on his team, Zeke-esque, literally never touched the game. Went 0 in like 10 after 10 rounds. By the end of the game, 5K had 50 kills. Oh my god. Yeah. A classic 50 bomb. They got 10 rounds. By the end of the game, 5K had 50 kills. Oh my god. Yeah. And they got 50, the classic 50 bomb. They got 10 rounds. They got 10 rounds and lost. Cooter got an ace.

Cooter was going absolutely nuts. For those unfamiliar with Valorant, getting 50 kills is, to quantify how difficult or how irregular that is, getting 30 kills in a game, 30 is like a very very good game it's like it's like winning a whole melee tournament and you didn't lose a stock yeah

it was literally an average of over two kills every round because there was like like must have been going crazy he's going nuts in those games when you kill somebody it makes a little sound it's like the little sound and i, when you were the Taco Bell gun. Yeah. I've hit 50 one time. I've done it one time in my life. It's the best fucking feeling ever. Was it all rated? It was rated.

Yeah. This is this absolute, I was being such a sweat too. Cause anytime we'd see him on offense and he'd be on the defensive side, it'd be like, all right, other map. Yeah. You can go the other way.

And then their team was the first to bring out an op and they're Korean. So I was like Google translating, trying to find the word for cringe. I feel like that's a hard concept to, like... Wow, op and friendly. ...to translate. Yeah, you're on your mango shit. Dude, he did a 1v5 ace to clutch around.

That's so sick. And then I wanted to, like, congratulate him, but I typed the Korean term for GG, and he's like, come on, dude. Oh, he thought you were giving up? That's so funny. Getting salty at the fucking show. I often won fucking 10-man with Mango, and he has hated me ever since.

And I met Lauren, his girlfriend, for the first time at main stage. And they come backstage. Mango comes up, gives me a hug. And he's like, oh, this is Lauren. And I meet her for a second. And he turns to her and goes, I fucking hate him. And then I laugh. And she's like, why?

And I'm like Yeah you know In like the mango way And he goes No He corrects me This is after hugging you After hugging me He corrects me

And goes No actually I hate him Which is like Also the mango way I was like This is the most confusing thing And also the most on brand We're doing friends giving today

And if he comes It is because of you And if he does not come It is because of you Yeah 100% Pointing to slime by the way Yeah I'm usually gone when he's around by the way you've been gone every time he talks about it he's so sad yeah it's actually really coincidental by the way we're talking about weird fan interactions i actually had one in the airport when i when i was flying

this week i i'm walking to my gate uh and i actually missed my flight to go to arizona if you guys don't know i know a lot to talk crazy, but, but real, like I'm walking to my gate. I'm like late. And this guy stops me. He's like,

holy shit. And he's wearing a mask. We're all wearing masks. Cause we're in the airport. And I turn and I look at him and then he just stares at me and I'm not going to do this. Right. I'm not going to help him along on his, so I just stand there and I would. And he goes.

You're sly. And I go, yeah, he short circuited for him. He did. And then I just stand there and continue looking at him. And he's like, OK. And then I kept walking.

The person controlling his sim was like super slow to do the dialogue options. And I was like, I was like, that person's fine. Like that didn't make me annoyed or anything but i'm like i'm not gonna do this for you that's i you need to you need to have the tools yourself to carry yourself through this if he would like put his arm around you where are we going oh what a fucking judo chop he's going down dude i discovered that people get really, really nervous.

So you kind of have to do that. At this Riot event, there was a like, they had me crash an interview with EsportsDoug. It was EsportsDoug interviewing a Valorant player. Where was his shirt at? I got so much to say about that motherfucker. Where was his shirt at? How low is it at the moment? I didn't know this was EsportsDoug.

It was a deep V. To me, I called him third place doug because he did this like vr boxing thing and he got third oh nice he was sad about it so i come in i go hey what's up third place oh it's a broad i was like people have been calling you that behind the scenes it's like if you named yourself influencer ludwig yeah like if you started like he's fine i'm youtuber you know what the thing is i'm podcaster slime i get it because doug is it's like you can't just be doug you're gonna have a new tag everyone makes up their own name i am there there was this kid there was this kid in high school who everyone called doug because they thought he kind of looked like the guy from the show

and he just had a big and it stuck forever he just wore a green shirt one day uh but anyway i crashed the interview and the guy he's talking to and i'm so sad i can't remember And it stuck forever. He just wore a green shirt one day. What the fuck? But anyway, I crashed the interview, and the guy he's talking to, and I'm so sad I can't remember his name, but he was a Valorant pro, and he was like a fan of me. He was like a starstruck, and he was like super nervous in the interview. He was like shaking, and so it's like people just get like that. They just get a bit nervous. Well, I think this guy in the airport, I was very clearly going fast.

Yeah. I had shit to do. But I stopped because he kind of like, you know. I guess contextually, you had missed a flight. Yeah. Like, I'm on my way. And that was kind of way down. I'm not sitting there, right?

If I'm sitting down, it comes up. He's like, holy shit, you're flying. Like, I'm going to be away. Oh, yeah. Hey, what's up? But that was the difference. Also, esports, Doug. Oh, hold on. Remix., Doug. Oh, hold on.

Remix, remix. Oh, my God. This is like part of the original segue of why I wanted to talk about the event. Because I had this sort of conversation while I was there about seeing people that I recognized and introducing yourselves to them who aren't really like influencers

or aren't really people you're a fan of. It's like weird like seeing people that... Damn. No, not... I know exactly what you mean. This isn't applicable to esports. This isn't esports dog by the way. Like the lowly,

like sort of the poorest. Bottom feeders. Like someone who you would never care about. This is literally the opposite of that by the way. This is about Mark Merrill, the guy who founded the company. We someone who you would never care about. This is literally the opposite of that, by the way. This is about Mark Merrill, the guy who founded the company. We know what you mean. Wait, he founded Riot? Yeah.

Really? Yeah. Is he the guy who stole? No, that's Pendragon. Okay. That's a different guy. Pendragon's got the book series for you. Mark Merrill was there.

It's Penn Island, yeah. And the CEO. Mark Merrill and Penn Island. Nicolo, the CEO was there there he was hanging out that's cool and it's like they were like a and that happened a few times with like people that i recognize but i'm like i was thinking about in my head like old old 19 year old networking amen would just go up and say hi but now i thought about this a lot i was like what can i really say in that interaction that makes it like not weird especially since they're not somebody who like produces uh like art so to speak they're

just like they're they're like executives who like work at the company so what am I what am I gonna do like go up to Mark and then be like hey love what you've done with League of Legends yeah and like there's no because I don't actually know him. It'd probably be nice in the flood of hate messages. True, true. That might be in contrast to some of the messages he's gotten in the past couple years. Also, wouldn't that make you complicit in the abuse of women? Whoa! Hold on.

If you said what you said. Walk me down your thought process. Riot was in a little hot water. I don't know if we forgot about it. That's true. I see. I forgot about that part. I feel uncomfortable because I don't know to what degree Mark was involved in any of that.

You put it in the mission statement. There were other people at the company in the executive room. There will be a big fish gun and we will hate women. Those are the two things that we do here. That's our two values. Also, later, there will be a character with a big wall. Always be slightly better than Blizzard so we get less flack.

But I was just thinking about that because I saw these people I've recognized and sort of at least used to admire from afar from like a business standpoint and be like, what? It's like my initial reaction is to go kind of introduce myself and like meet that person. But then I thought about the interaction and thought about like what it's like from the other side. When somebody comes up to me and they just know me, but they don't know anything I do. And it's kind of a weird like pandering interaction of like, hey, I want you to know anything I do. And it's kind of a weird, like pandering interaction of like, Hey, I want you to know that I know you exist, but you don't haven't taken the time to

also learn anything about me. Yeah. It's I was thinking about making like a video actually, cause I'm a content creator now about how to talk to people that you don't need to talk to. Yeah. Right. I think dude, you should should make you should make one of those like Sigma male tutorial channels Alex Honnold interaction optimized I made that video optimal you already made it was it in your how to be a streamer shit no it's good being uploaded on my other channel the oh it's in progress mogul Malia we have the same mind I recorded it three days a we have the same mind we are recorded it three days ago. We have the same mind. We are the same.

Just a bit slower, though. No, because I have one cooking, and you'll like it. He's Usain Bolt in your Tyson Gay. I said Tyson Gay. Second place, right? Yeah. Hey, I want to shake your hand for that joke. I got my like.

I don't like the disproportionate. The Dapp spreadsheet inflation happening. Yeah, we just have to actually shake. And this is where it comes full circle to esports doug yeah i saw him i saw him initially and i didn't realize it was him i was like why do i recognize that guy and then i saw him like three more times that weekend and i'm like oh my god and every single time i saw him after that i was like that's the guy that anthony said milks his prostate. Wait, what? So every time I've ever seen esports Doug cast... So I already don't like esports.

I think the button-down application... And then they gave him a name. The button-down application of professional sports broadcasting in contrast to video gamers where there's like Katarina with giant titties is really stupid to me and it always will be no matter what even starcraft which i love is it's kind of corny but like i can put i can i can deal with it but esports doug personifies all of this because for

one his fucking name and two he always when he's on camera he's just like really really like serious and he has this like strained look on his face all the time and i i was watching we're all watching valentine once in like discord and i i got it and i was like i get it he looks like he's always on camera being prostate milked but he's trying as you think but he's trying not to let you know that that's happening so it's like this tension. It's kind of like when you see those really fat guys walking in public who've got big prostates. If this slides across your desk, Doug, I truly am sorry.

I am sorry. Eastport hits the no fluxes. He's like, I can deadlift more than you. He's like, here's what I know. Here's what I know. Let me give you a suggestion. EsportsDoug.com, by the way. One of the original things that got me about him that we kept joking about for a while

is he would be on the Valorant broadcast. Deepest V. And he would always, each sequential broadcast, he would have like a deeper V-neck. Like one more button would get undone on the shirt. That was just so funny. This is EsportsDoug casting a Valorant game. Stop. It might have been a running gag.

I think the thing that everybody should remember is, like a lot of people, that Anthony forms these long-winded, you know, far away opinions about. Esports Doug is probably a great normal guy who's nice to hang out with. Very personable.

He was. Yeah, of course. Yeah, I'm sure he's fine. Of course. I'm sure he's fine, but nothing's going to stop me from hating esports and him being a part of that machine.

Let me tell you, guns ahead, all right? If you have to have $200,000 or a dinner with esports Doug, you take the dinner. That's right. Because he'll teach you everything, bro. If he was just Doug, would you like him better? Dude, $1 million or a single? He would not roast him at all.

$1 million? Because there's like five other people. Or an exclusive shopping spree with esports Doug. And he just gets you V-necks? Or he takes you to Zara and you buy— So this one's really deep. Or a exclusive shopping spree with EsportsDoug. And he just gets you V-necks? Or he takes you to Zara and you buy buttonless button-ups. This is like the mid-roll contest in a Nintendo Power magazine.

It's one of those drop-down triple pages and it's just him. Centerfold, baby. The Esports magazine centerfold. The fold-out magazine poster of EsportsDoug magazine poster it says have you ever wanted to fuck bowser and he's just like this a hundred box tops you get a dinner anyway so yeah i go to arizona and if you haven't seen it i uh i put together a bit of a bit and i was gonna have it be actually so low-key that i didn't tell anyone but i was bursting i was goose you were bursting

i was goosing at the scene you couldn't hold it i think nick was the first person i told and then i started telling everyone else oh no it's actually mike's i was trying to workshop what i was going to do but basically uh the where i kept taking videos of h rock when he was in our house i was like oh i'm gonna take it a step further and uh his brother actually we know because he helped ludwig out with some stuff so i I had his email, Atriok's brother. So I emailed his brother and I said, hey, subject line, Atriok bit, LOL, do not leak. And this is to his professional email. You put LOL in it?

Something like that. It's just professional email. And I'm like, okay, I have an idea. I want to like fuck with Atriok. You can go to your personal email or like phone. Cause you probably don't want this in your, like your business. He's like, yeah, sure. He was totally down. And I explained and I'm like, okay, Atriok, I sent him the video and I sent him the Maya shirt I made. And I was like, I want to have a picture ready for when he says something

to me on Twitter that I reply with a picture of me and his dad, which in my hubris, I don't think I would have had the patience to be able to sit on that, right? Also, someone might leak. So we talk about it, and I'm like, okay, actually, I'm going to go down there, and I'm going to take a video. And so that was basically it. He said, when do you want to do it?

We're going to be out of town all next week for family stuff. And I'm like, let's do it this week. So I book a flight to Arizona, and it's a day trip and i go and i go get on the flight so i actually almost missed a flight and i almost went home well you did miss a flight right i did miss a flight and they had to schedule another flight and i had to get another one and then they put me on standby because i actually missed that

flight wow yeah i was i was fucking up you missed two flights how'd you miss two because here's the thing i thought i got in the starbucks and I was like, I'll be fine. That's crazy. The gate was right there. The gate was literally. You ever miss a flight and then go, I'll stand in the longest line at the airport real The gate was right there. And it was like, my flight left at like 940 and it's 910.

And I'm like, I got time. The most embarrassing thing is I've done that too. Trying to buy a book. What? That I have never read. The Steve Jobs autobiography? What do you want that bad? It was,

no, it was Anthony Bourdain. Dude, I did that too because I was like, I got Starbucks and then I went to like the shop

and I was like, I was looking at a Dave Grohl book and I was actually flipping through it and I'm like, God, this guy's fucking whack. And then I closed the book and then I go over

and the flight's gone. Doug, yeah, Dave Grohl. I was like, where's the flight to Arizona? And the guy's like, and the flight's gone. All right, Esports Doug. Yeah, Dave Grohl. I was like, where's the flight to Arizona? And the guy's like, oh, that's gone. And I'm like, oh. And he knows I'm upset.

He's like, you can go, and they'll change your flight. So I had to do that. I got put on standby. I fly. And then it was actually in Tucson. So I had to, I was going to take another flight. But then I was like, I'll just rent a car. So I ended up renting a car and going down,

because the flight would take too long. Anyway, finally get there. I they're super nice yeah just wonderful people of course everyone was so down it was so funny how desperate they were to fuck with atrioc that's awesome and i said we're the same he's almost assuredly the worst son because i imagine how frequently he messages like back and like replies and communicates his mom's like oh I haven't heard from that guy in eight months dude already got mad at him really yeah because like it was basically like we tried to call him which is in the video that really happened that was the first time we tried to call him and he didn't pick up and then I'm like oh shit so I stopped rolling his dad yeah his dad tried to call yeah his dad tried to call him and we keep trying to call him and he's just not picking up.

And like a message, I, we called Ari and I was like, Ari, I'm with a drugs dad in Arizona. I'm trying to play a prank on him. And she's like, oh my God, it's so funny. I'll try to get ahold of him. And he didn't, he didn't, he was like, yeah, I'm not going to pick up. I'm busy. And she was like, if you don't pick up, you're going to regret it. If your dad, if your dad calls you more than one time and your response is, I'm not going to pick up.

I'm busy. You're a freak. I know. You're actually a freak. I will, in one place offend him. I think he's omega slamming with work because he's taking off all of Thanksgiving and the next week taking off his family. That explains why I can't get messages.

I'm just saying. Anyway, so it was like, it kind of put a halt on it. So I had to think on my feet and I'm like, oh, fuck so it was like, it kind of put a halt on it, so I had to think on my feet, and I'm like, oh, fuck, okay. So we just kind of fucked around. I rolled a little bit, and we did some bits, and then he calls back. Yeah. And I actually wasn't ready,

so I had to get the phone ready real quick, and then he called, and then we ran the bit. It was really funny. If you haven't seen it, and most people, I think, will have not, because we usually get, like, you know, 150, 200 on this. Yeah. Definitely watch the video. It's video called calling big a and that was and also a track probably gonna put together because I

knew all about this and I saw the tweet and I thought it was funny and then I heard Nick be like oh dude it's funny because I never watched the video itself Nick said I peaked yeah I disagree I think I think slime because I think if there's room for improvement and so if there's room for improvement you haven't peaked. Because I think if there's room for improvement, and so if there's room for improvement, you haven't peaked.

You also, I guess, it's not your fault because Aatrox was not easy to get a hold of, but you didn't do it on stream. His reaction is just so money. Aatrox's reaction on the phone, it's like you showed him a new color. Yeah. And he was trying to figure out how it's possible. Yeah.

Oh, man. Yeah. And I didn't wait for him to stream. I also didn't want to waste their time and stuff. I thought he'd be streaming at the time yeah because then i could call him on discord and he'd probably pick up so yeah it was but his dad is such a riff god his dad is funnier yeah his dad was i'll say it he was the h rock was telling me because they did a family stream like two years ago when h rock was a small baby bear and uh they called his dad the lul w master and when i got there his dad was like

i mean they do call me the lol w master so he's like holding on to this merit that the chat that's what my stepdad does he'll be like yeah they call me poggers classic dad and then h rock was like he is never gonna shut up about this until like the day he dies because he's very proud of like being involved in the bit yeah so knowing that i disrupted atriox life much further into uh you know past this bit uh just warms my heart and i'm assuming you're killing it now no yeah i think i'm killing it you know what's funny esports arena texted me or they messaged me and they said atriox gonna be here today uh or tomorrow this is last night and we're a big fan of your bit. Is there anything you want to be involved in?

And I had this dream scenario where they say the CEO of HyperX wants to meet you. And they bring him up to an office building and turn around in the chair. That would be really funny. That's a great idea. You should do that. I think it's only funny if you find a good way to escalate it. Yeah, you have to escalate it. That would be one way to escalate it.

The only other way is to get involved with his work life. Get him a fake job interview as head of marketing at Ryan and Ron's. His boss at NVIDIA being like, Hey, emergency, we got a meeting with a big client today. I'm going to need you to hop on this call. I need you to spin up a couple slides or something. I need you in office. I need a deck.

It's a Zoom call, and one of the windows is slime fully in a diaper. It's standing in the corner of the room, but everyone's in on it but Atriox, so they act like they don't see him. And Atriox is like, what the slime? And you're just not replying. You're just in a diaper, and no one else sees you. They're just like, what are you talking about? There's no one else on this call.

His wedding is actually a slime bitch.on brandon can you can you pull up the slides please i i had this idea that i would also like marry him and ari like like i would be like you hit up ari after the wedding when he goes like back to the hotel like have ari message and be like i'm in the hotel waiting. And it's just you. Send rose petals. You getting married to Ari in Vegas before they get married. Or marrying. Well, I guess that's the only way. I can't marry Atrioc as a joke.

Marry Maya. What if I marry Maya? His dog. What if I technically marry Atrioc on paper? That is the David Dobrik. Yeah. So I heard the downside with that. I think David Dobrik did this, and I want to say Elle Mills did

this, and both of them had the same response, was that the trouble of getting out of your marriage afterwards is not worth it. Marriage is real. Annulment is a pain in the ass. But the thing is, I get half. David Dobrik married his old friend's mother.

It was like a 70-year-old woman, and he married her, and then showed it friend's mother it was like a like a 70 year old woman and he married her that's so and then like showed it to him it was like i married your mom you know okay your daddy so his old friend his old friend jason nash yeah one time i never knew what to thought of this this is not a tiny by the way just clarify not a friend from a long time ago an old friend no he's literally he's a friend who is like 47 sorry sorry jason dash uh one time i went to uh i went to a party in seattle and i was just like out front with like a couple people and we were like talking uh talking to a bunch of people in the line and uh you know you know sometimes i'm sometimes i'm funny sometimes i'm funny and are you making them

laugh people are laughing at my jokes, like these random people. Sound off in the comments if sometimes you think he's funny. Sometimes. Pre-art Aiden jokes? And then one of the girls was like, you remind me of Jason Nash.

And I was like, that is hurtful. No, that is just because that is the only comedian she's ever known. Yeah. He's a stand-up comedian. Boss baby vibes? Yeah. Dude. Getting a lot of jason you're like the like the jeff dunham of this you're like

you're like that older guy who didn't make it in stand-up and is in his friend's youtube videos now his friends who are 20 years younger and i was like that actually you know you act you know what's funny you brought up marrying for a bit. My dad didn't do this for a bit. He married an old Russian woman named Galina for $10,000 as a favor. That's so sick. So she could get her citizenship. That's not a favor.

You have to stick that out. Dude, you have to stick that out for a few years for it to work. No, it's an exchange. I think he's technically still married. No, but what if he wants to get married? He's sacrificing something. I know, but he's getting 10K. Yeah.

I didn't know it was for 10K for a long time. It's a favor if 10K isn't exactly worth it. If doing the deed is not worth it. It's a favor if he would have done it without the 10K. Let me remix this. When I was a little kid, he told me this, but he didn't tell me it was for 10K. He said he did it as a favor to her. And I was like, oh, my dad's really nice. Like, this russian lady that lives across our apartment and then later on i brought it up to

him i was like remember when you marry that old russian lady like to help her out and he's like oh oh yeah i did that for 10 000 and i was like that's crazy you just didn't tell me that part when i was little like you you went as far as to tell me you did this weird thing but didn't finish it off which doesn't make it that much more weird. Yeah. But you just removed the money component of it. He sounds like a good communicator like me. I'm having a fucking breakdown right now.

By the way, guys, hey, shout out to sponsor of this week's Yardcast, Coinbase. You guys can go download Coinbase at Coinbase.com forward slash the yard and get 10 Bitcoin free. $10 in Bitcoin. No correct me that time. Well, I guess because I was busy barking. Barking my head off. You get $10 worth of Bitcoin. That's what you get.

You don't get more than that. You can't say or. You have to explain which one that they get. It's not an or. It's not a toggle thing. You don't choose. Nobody knows. You sign up and you get $10 worth of Bitcoin.

You can sign up and find out. We and you know. You've ruined the deal because you've made it seem so much worse maybe you sign up and there's ten bitcoin there i feel like it's not a maybe i feel like that shouldn't happen that won't happen unless somebody at coinbase really fucked up yeah you'll feel like nick allen years from now oh don't be like oh come on wait what favorite tweets. Come on. Wait, what happened? I don't know about this. Nick Allen tweeted this out.

I don't know if you can pull it up, Zipper. It's like 100,000 plus likes and it's a quote retweet and he's like, damn, I was an idiot. And the original tweet was him in like 2011

and it was like, Bitcoin up to $4. Thank God I hopped off that train. Holy shit. Yeah. A lot of people. So fucking funny. I would frame that in my home

yeah that's an nit bro i was at the bicycle hotel and casino and i was playing the one three game which is like dollar chips it's it's buying is 80 120 and it's a very degenerate game it's just people who get drunk and they just fucking shove it in the middle and then they rebuy and it's fun and i was playing and um there was a guy who was like he kept every time he would just like you'd raise him and he'd get frustrated and he would just all in he'd be like i got bitcoin money it's fine oh my god and i was like oh okay well i'll just have premium holdings then and i hope i'll i'll do well against your strategy and then also i said this on shakes reply because he was like the heroin's gonna be to be good tonight because of some video that popped off.

I was playing at the bike one night, and there was this guy next to me, and he had this thing in his arm. It was like a lump. It was like a golf ball-sized lump in his arm, like right here. And I was like, that's gross. And we're all just playing poker. It's where you come together as humans in this world. And across the table, a guy notices this guy's insanely disgusting cyst.

And he's like, you do heroin? And the guy's like, yeah. And then the guy who asked him the question is like, me too. And the guy just kind of nods. He's like, dude. And then we kept playing. You want to go do that after this? It was crazy.

I'm actually playing for heroin. You hit a double feature. You at the bike, you guys want to go get some shimmer later, dude? Dude, the whole gang goes, plays poker, and they fuck the heroin addicts at the bike. But yeah, that was my H-Rock adventure. Actually, it made me feel whole for once. Because people were like, this is the best video I've ever seen.

And I'm like, it might be. It popped off on YouTube. And I'm like, you know what? And it might be. You know what? I did something worthwhile for once. It's not the best video you ever made. You okay?

It's always Corn Base. Oh, him? Him. Corn Base, Hungrybox song. Oh, come on. Don't say that. The best thing I've ever made. Don't Park on the Grass.

Don't Park, yeah yeah don't park uh season two and then me it's bringing us together obviously reddit recap number 47 dude i love that one all right we the the esports awards happened last night one of the three uh like streamer content creator awards it's a fix right the fix is always in it's just a whack marketing bullshit like fix they are all a bit weird because they are all partially voting which is like the esports awards The fix, right? The fix is always in. It's just a whack marketing bullshit like fix, right? They are all a bit weird because they are all partially voting, which is like never the best way to do it. Oh, my God. They won?

I felt this for so long and I've never had a platform. The wackest fucking thing on the internet. Why, King? I fucking hate it. Tell us, King. I fucking hate it. It's so dumb. Speak to that.

So I just think the whole goddamn thing is so fucking stupid. I think that there is just no fucking way that the winners are chosen in a way that is legitimate and fair. It's absolutely this thing where people are connected and people get chosen because of who they are and who they know and yada yada. And the winners are always like, this is crazy. There's like enormous people or groups that are completely left out of these like insane categories. And the people who are involved, it's like, oh, I get it. They did one Riot project, so they're in this thing and blah, blah, blah. The whole thing is a sham.

It's so fucking whack. I hate it. It's like the eSports 30 under 30. Is that whack too? Yeah, it's also whack. Well, I guess extremely. Woo! Well, I think in general i i can't remember why i was going to talk about this the

other week i kind of like i kind of skipped over it uh but i think there's sort of this world of like esports uh that is like more investor focused and is like a different crowd that is like they control a lot of the money in the space uh but they're very disconnected from like what the space is actually like at the same time and they just like flippantly like make events or teams or decisions because they control the money but you guys are deep web conspiracy theorists this isn't deep web i'm just going to say i'm pretty sure that you maybe the nominations are dumb but the panelists were were genuinely pretty knowledgeable people. Hold on.

I was going to bring it around. Okay. I was going to bring it around. The Fizzy win was the first great thing to happen. They won my respect this year because of the Fizzy win. Who didn't know, by the way. You had no idea this was happening. Because he wasn't nominated in a specific category, right?

So it shows that some people, at least some people making the decisions once the nominees are decided, are clearly making some sort of more involved, close decisions. And that wins my respect. By the way, my man's Patreon number is going down. And if you play Melee, I think you owe that guy a subscription. Oh, yeah.

I would like to shill for that guy because he changed my life and he changed a lot of people. I don't know. I think a lot of people. I don't know. I think a lot of the winners I was pretty happy with. Fizzy won. It was just a panelist choice so the people who pick who wins picked him to be the esports most helpful man.

That's literally the category. I have personal investment. Can you check who won the esports content team of the year? Esports content team of the year is going to hurt you a bit. BTS not nominated winner was g2 e2 yeah because they did that one thing it actually might have been content piece of the

year not no no the g2 uh it was i can't remember her name but their but their head their director of content over there won the award for like content director okay i don't think it was content team i don't know they might have won won both. I know for a fact she won. Hey, we're gonna make Bellflower 2. Jerma didn't even get nominated. Jerma didn't even get nominated. Yeah, Jerma shouldn't have gotten nominated. Also, I did think it was really funny. I think Jerma's a really great streamer. I think streamer of the year

I think it just doesn't... Tell it here. We're plebs. We've been talking a lot about our stupid opinions. Tell us your high society... Tell us how it is little owners so there was 12 nominees for this one this one i think is a little less prestigious than the game awards which is basically just a giant three-hour ad for video games yeah as well as this person won something um and so that gets more viewers it's got got like 40K. But this one, I think all the winners kind of made sense.

Navi didn't win, which I think was kind of cringe for like team of the year. It was Atlanta face. Yeah, that would be sick. Simple one major. Simple, dude, okay, real quick. Simple one for Esports Player of the Year. They play a video of him talking, being like, thanks.

They do a dub over without telling him. What? He speaks English. There is just another English dub over his voice. Why did they do that? Wait, is he speaking English in the video? I don't know because they got rid of the audio. I can only imagine he was speaking English because he speaks English.

But they did a dub over of it, and then he quoted it. He's like, dub? Why do they hate me? That's so weird. Yeah. So they did a dub over. But streamer of the year was the one I was nominated for. Floaty Peach's voice.

Wait, you were nominated? I was nominated. I thought you weren't nominated. I thought you weren't. So this is the only award I was nominated for. I was not nominated for the streamer or the streamy one. Yeah. You didn't know.

Wow. I was not nominated for the streamer or the streamy one yeah you didn't know wow i was not nominated for like the streamies content creator of the year i was not nominated for the game of game award streamer of the year um maybe that's what i saw but uh yeah some people were making a stink of that but i was nominated for esports awards streamer of the year it gets confusing basically i was nominated for the uh golden globe not the you know the esports that you're in fuck which was i don't know if it was the esports, so I don't want to call them out for this, but there was one of these fucking dumb contests

that was big, and it was exposed like fucking six, five years ago, whatever, for having illegitimate results. Because someone basically saw the winner and then took the actual votes that were casted and measured it and was like, oh, this is like they chose the winner despite the votes.

I don't remember who it was. Someone look it up. Five years ago. It was whatever. It was too fickle. Anyway, I am nominated for this, and I end up losing to eBuy, which I also think is very fair. I think eBuy is probably the most deserving.

He'll probably win the Game Awards. If you don't know, he's a Spanish-speaking influencer. He's done collabs with Messi. Oh, wow Spanish-speaking influencer. He's done like collabs with Messi. Oh, wow. Like Pique. He's done like insane, like probably the greatest collabs. He's also thrown on like insane events as well. Like you know the game where you have to keep a balloon up?

Like you slap a balloon. Yeah. He did a World Cup of that and got like contestants from like 13, 16 different countries. Wow. With Pique like one of the most famous soccer players like commentating it. Do you think he's laundering money? I think he might have a house in Andorra.

Because when you start bringing in like football clubs, like half of those, bro. A lot of Spanish players live in Andorra because Andorra has 10% income tax. He has like 6 to seven million twitter followers like he's he's like really big he's a huge he's very i think something interesting about like spanish spanish content creation is like the audience is like so gigantic but the number of influencers is like smaller and it's sort of like catching up with the scale of the audience so the

people who are big are like enormous because you have like you're you have like you have Spain and then like the entirety of Latin America. And then like some parts of Southeast Asia too. Like you have this massive, massive audience. And it's like it's just catching up. So like a lot of the biggest people like the biggest this happened like earlier this year. Right. One of the other people nominated for content creator of the year, I think, was Grefg. And he has the highest peak Twitch stream of all time.

2.4 million people. And he smashed that this year. He had 2.5 million viewers on his channel on Twitch. What was he doing? He had a Fortnite skin of him launching the game. Yeah, I remember that. He was also nominated. And he's a Spanish content creator.

And it was really funny when this tweet dropped because a bunch of people in the comments and the quote retweets were like, who the fuck are these guys? And it's like, these guys are bigger than all the people that you like. Yeah, that's pretty funny. And I'll give it to him. I think Ibai isn't just bigger. He's also a better streamer.

Yeah. I'll say that. Have you watched his stream? Yeah. Do you understand it? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

So we speak it. We speak. Because you're Portuguese. Anyway, I think you super deserved it. The one that's getting a lot of flack is the Game Awards because they nominated... It was Ibai Gol, who's like that, but in French, I think. Oh, Gales?

Yeah. He's Brazilian. He's gigantic. Yeah, okay, so this is the French, I think. Oh, Gales? Yeah. And then there's... He's Brazilian. He's gigantic. Yeah, okay, so this is the tweet that I saw. Yeah. Because people were complaining about these guys, Gales, and then it's like... And then who's the last one?

And then it's Dream and Leslie from 100 Thieves. Yeah. And so everyone's like... I was in a call, and admittedly I was saying things I shouldn't have, but I was in a call on stream with, like, you know, Sykuno and I think Leslie was in a call, and admittedly I was saying things I shouldn't have, but I was in a call on stream with, like, you know, Sykuno, and I think Leslie was in there too, and I was like, fucking dream. I just done, like, three streams the entire year,

fucking cheating head ass. All right, you know, the Portuguese streamers, they have, like, 17 people for competition. I have, like, thousands. So you're talking that good. I was talking that good. I went through every single one like Michael Scott when he left the building. You know what actually blows my mind?

Maybe this is a little weed smokery, but we're in an era now where you can cheat in a video game. It's public information, and you can win an award in that space. It used to be the fucking goddamn biggest thing. This is streamer award. I feel like in the gaming world, it used to be the fucking most hated thing you could possibly do. You want to know some hardcore insider shit? And I won't say who their name is, but when I was working at an event for CSGO

back when I was a bit of an esports guy, one of the people had told me, I had asked them because the idea of cheating got brought up. I asked, I was like, do you think these people are really cheating? He's like, all of them are cheating. They always have been. I was like, holy shit. What? If it makes you feel better,

Doc cheated and then won the award. Oh! What the fuck was that? That makes me feel worse for one. Because it just doubles what I said Hey, it was the other cheat There's a double on that Oh

You're slow I just thought he cheated Everyone salute Aiden Get that hand up Get your fucking hand up cocksuckers It's Thanksgiving Anyway Also I will say that the era of people changing their

name to uh like what was it was like dr cheats on wife and then like killing like stream snapping him killing him in fortnite and dancing was insane but by the way neeper has a clip uh it's it's i have it saved somewhere but neeper killed dr disrespect Disrespect in a PUBG game and Dr. Disrespect got really pissed I don't even like playing this game anymore I'm not even happy playing this game

it's just a shit game it's just Neeper killed the fact that Neep did that clipped that is why people stream Snipe because it's like it's hype

I'm talking about it right now yeah that's my boy I killed a we played Fortnite like very little like the amount I don't know if you ever played with it yeah we played a decent amount we played like very very little and I killed a So yeah We played Fortnite Like very little Like the amount I think like I don't know if you ever Played with it

Yeah we played A decent amount We played like Very very little And I killed A professional Fortnite player In one of my matches

In a build fight So I was I had no idea What I was doing But I had a shotgun And I you know I hit him with it And I didn't even

Know who he was And I was We were playing With our friend Noel And Noel goes Dude that's a pro player And like in the kill feed He saw the name

That's a pro player And I went I saw his stream And he's, he's like lecturing about how I'm like fucking dog shit, and I'll never be anything in the game, and yada yada. I'm like, everything he said is true. But. But this is crazy. Because like, for all he knows, like, I'm fucking trying so hard to do what he's doing. But actually, I'm going to turn this off and go fucking play Melee.

And I don't even like this game. Dude, Nick is so funny, because Nick plays because nick plays melee like which is just public matches against random people and then you will sometimes if they have like ttv or you think they stream will go watch their stream while you're playing them to see what they say about you uh yeah i think everyone does that if you play someone with ttv that's a normal thing i've never done this i did this yeah yeah don't act like you're different. You're saying if you played someone on Slippy and they have TTV in their name,

you're not going to check if they were live? You know what? I guess part of it is different because usually it's on stream. And if I check, I just give them a bunch of attention. Yeah. But don't do it.

You have to realize that most people often aren't streaming. You're not live? Yeah. By the way. Are you guys not streamers? What was last year that Valkyrie won? What award show was that?

The Game Awards Okay Which is the bigger one Largest development in skincare So that That reminded me He's up for that one We were cleaning up

Downstairs Because we have Friendsgiving Happening later today I found No one knows this Because no one opens Fucking packages I found

With our names not on it? Listen It's the Reflect skincare box. No, I knew that. Oh, I opened that. You opened it? Yeah. Oh, isn't that like rare? No, it's not.

You can still buy it. Wait, you can buy it? I'm pretty sure you could still buy it. I thought it was like discontinued and like they shut down the whole shit. He's talking about it like he found the balloons. Oh, man. All right, never mind. Yes, the Reflect skincare line from Valkyrae was still purchasable.

I did get one. We should all eat the cream. Why would we eat it? All the influencers got it, and some people did reviews and shit. Yeah, I thought it was hype to have. Hold on. Bar coming. What if I do it?

No. Would you guys get mad? I would. It would be a shame. I always get mad. I always get mad. No, why would... You just asked if we would...

I won't do it, because you know what? It's Friendsgiving. It is Friendsgiving. It is. This comes out on Thanksgiving. This video? Yeah. Oh, shit. Anything you guys are thankful for? Would we like to go around? Hmm. Oh, you know what I am thankful for? I am thankful

for a new opportunity to present you guys. I saw this in MLM. You don't know this. And our lovely audience, a new merch item. Oh. That's right. Wait, merch for what? For the yard.

Now, I want to have you guys close your eyes. Okay. Because I am going to bring a merch item onto the stage. Okay. And I think that it's going to sell really well. I'm eyes closed. All right, eyes closed right now. Close them hard.

Are you going downstairs? No, I'm going over to zipper. Close your fucking eyes. I know they're closed. Close them. Put your hands on them. I, I'm going over to zipper. Close your fucking eyes. I know they're closed. Close them. Put your hands on you. I want to peek, but I won't.

I just have glasses. It's kind of difficult. Four eyes. What the? Dude. That Daphne thing was a big business boost for me. Dude.

The other day, I walk into the house after we go rock climbing and he goes, where are my glasses? I forgot them in the car. And I just yelled Daphne. All right.

Yep. Yep. I'm waiting. I'm waiting. I see you guys. My lovely, lovely guests. Lovely co-hosts. Happy Thanksgiving, everyone.

Of the yard. And I present to you. Unless you're not American. Bro, what is happening? What is audio listeners? What is that? It's the Yard Sibian. Oh!

What the fuck? Fuck! Is it used? No. Fresh off the press. Dude, what the fuck? Look, look, look. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Wait, let go, let go. We can finally do you laugh, you cum. Dude, you laugh, you squirt. You laugh, you squirt. So, yeah, this one comes in. What the fuck? This is Passion Purple.

You made this? Yeah. Well, I put a sticker on it. It's a sticker. It's a sticker. But yeah. You got a purple one? I purchased the Sibian.

Do we have this on YouTube? No. God, no. No, you definitely can't. Are you just supposed to blur it out? Oh, yeah. A hundred percent. The bonus episode will show it in full.

But it'll be pixelated and you'll kind of see movement. Hey, guys. It's a perfect time to join the Patreon. Patreon.com forward slash the yard. You can see the bonus episode, which will air alongside with this, as well as 20 other bonus episodes. Dude, what the fuck? Can I ask you guys a question? I mean, yeah.

I want to sit on it. Take it for a spin. Do you think? Yeah. Never mind. Yeah. You sit on it. You sit on it.

So, yeah, you actually sit. Is it hot dog or hamburger style? It's like this. Oh, my God. It's 100%. You sit on it. It's curved. That's to hit the G. So, you actually sit... Is it hot dog or hamburger style? It's like this. Oh, my God. It's 100%. You sit on it. It's curved. That's to hit the G.

So you want... Do you want rotation or vibration? Yeah, that part goes on your clitoris. That's for the clit. Yeah, that's... Oh, my... This is actually a sitting... So you're going the wrong way,

because that's not... Yeah, that needs to... Presumably, you want that at the front. Yeah. Okay. Do you want vibration or rotation? Audio listeners, okay, so we've unveiled a purple Sibian with yard stickers on it. Let's get this cam locked on us here.

Nick is sitting on it. Oh, God. Here you go, brother. Nick just fell off the Sibian. How do you do that? Nick just fell off the Sibian. This is disturbing. You're riding it like a Texas bar. Nick just sat on a Sibian. This is disturbing. You're riding it like a Texas bar.

Nick just sat on a Sibian fully clothed in Fendi shoes. Anyway, yeah, so I'll get this out of the camera shot so Archie doesn't have to continue masking the video. That's hype. But yeah, that's, you know, I just wanted to. So what does that sell for? So this goes on sale for $3,000. Wow.

Because it costs about $2,100. That costs $2,100? Yeah, they're really expensive. What? Do you think we have... What did you... How did you buy this? Oh, how did I buy it?

That's a write-off. It is a write-off and I bought it with company money. The Mogul Moves Company. Yes. Great. So, this is content

and the revenue generated by this not appearing on video will certainly cover the cost. We have Friends giving tonight. We should just put this out in a public space. It's just like, okay, you know how like cutie clean the whole house and like,

she's like trying to get everything cleaned up. We just like leave it out. Yeah. And then someone's like, what is that? We go, Oh my God. And then you bring it up.

Oh my God. It's my giant vibrating Sibian. Do you think we have like a, uh, wow. We must have one female friend who's, who's willing to do a review. No, that's ours. I think we have like a... Wow. Great payoff. We must have one female friend who's willing to do a review. No, that's ours.

A review? I think that's invasive to ask. Well, no. Ask your nude friend. No, it needs to be like a sexually confident friend. Ask your nude friend. A nude friend? No, your friend who asks for nude reviews.

Yeah. She might do it. Hey, got another gig for you. Hey, are you still working? It's like a side quest in Skyrim. Imagine that one of the Riot cosplayers comes out like, we got a Sibian in the back. You want to try it out?

Ride the Sibian for Shimmer. Oh, if you ride this for 10 seconds. Why are they pirates now? League of Legends Sibian. Free to ride. In my head, they're all gangplank. He's not even in the show. I'm like...

Slightly related to this. We solved the mystery of the device you saw, by the way. Oh, really? Yes. It's a pussy pump. It is... You put it on and you suction to make your... Suction.

To make your labia swell and be more sensitive. I don't know if it was that either. It was such an extremely weird device and I didn't get a good look at it. We'll go back. You want to go? We'll go back. It's a Japanese cosmetic store. The thing we showed, the thing that Zipper pulled up

on the screen is definitely that. It might not have been what Slime saw. We'll go. We'll buy it. We'll go. We'll get it. We'll put it on while we ride the Sibian. we'll go pussy pump and where is labia oh that's like that's a country yeah yeah it's in it's like next to like it's like it's the one it's the one that people they like leave they try to get to italy a lot of people a lot of blood diamonds it's very sad so yeah there is uh basically i i think that we can really start to branch out with.

No, I got it. Thanks though. Thank you. I, you know, I got it. Of merch. Yep. Really understand that. Anyway, what are you thankful for?

Oh, I forgot we were talking about that. I'm thankful for that motherfucker right there. Slightly related to merch. The same person who is putting up the, the image of ever dream this Man in the crowd at the major. Did you see the t-shirt? I did.

Oh, they made a t-shirt? Yeah, I did. And Launders tweeted it. Launders is Twitter. Launders found that person in the wild. Really? And they made a shirt. They made their own Ever Dream This Man t-shirt.

He's a really big Ever Dream This Man lover. So, love that you love the pod. Big fan. It's awesome. Gonna cease and desist you. 100%. Expect a letter. Expect a letter. Me and my boy Miyamoto, we know Gonna cease and desist you. 100%. Expect a letter. Expect a letter.

Me and my boy Miyamoto, we know how to fucking run this town. Dude, I got a DM from a guy who's like, yo, can I use your... Oh, look at that. Yeah, that's great. Yeah, it's just a picture. The phone background, too. And it's his phone background. He really is trying to dream right now.

This is someone who has dreamed this man and was like, finally. He's definitely dreamed this man. Is he Russian? He's European. He's so the same. Okay. Maybe. Well, I guess in Sweden.

I don't really know. He's the same. What am I thankful for? I am thankful. I'm thankful for the Yardigans because... God, fuck you. Yeah. I'm thankful for the Yardigans.

I'm thankful for my hairline. Hey, you should be. Bro, same. I think slime... Because I got slime as a friend and he will let me know. That's right. You know what I'm going to do? You know what I'm going to do this week? If slime told me I was going bald, I would believe him. a friend and he will let me know you know what I'm gonna do if slime told me

I was going bald I would believe him that's right pack watch fuck you guys hey can somebody can we get a PO box or it's sending perpecia

dude wait me and Nick watched horse sense 2 horse harder and the one of the main characters in that half of that is false half of that

half of that is just pack watch of me being like yeah so you can see right here his bald spot and like and then he got in the water and Nick was like holy shit and I was like, holy shit.

And I was like, I told you. You know what I do love about the DCOM channel is that like every week some new person decides to watch the Pixel Perfect one. Dude. And the reaction is always the same. That's the only one I wasn't there for and it's the only one people talk about. And I'm like, I got to go back and watch. Do a re-screening. I'll watch it with you me and you i'll actually do me that would be good you guys watch pixel perfect together because you haven't seen a couple of climbers watching it bro you're just having a gap gotta

do it actually imagine if the gnome starts vibrating up now it's not the thing is we'd watch it we just like we'd like be like i could climb that yeah it's a different wall um i wasn't gonna say yeah oh you know what i'm thankful for yeah i'm thankful for another thing my true calling what is that is new merchant close your eyes i i have found that i like making videos oh it made me feel complete do you like that hr content i like making videos that i don't have to think about oh i gotta put one out today right like the easygoing like oh i'll do it on the side because it makes me feel good and i feel like i i came home from that trip feeling like i did so there's a scene in bad santa one of my favorite movies of all time not even christmas movie where billy bob thornton he he makes friends with a little kid that he's like squatting in his house and his grandmother doesn't know and he's a son

of a bitch this character he's a bad guy and the kid he's staying with he's getting bullied at the mall and he sees this happening and he goes and he beats the shit out of all the kids bullying that kid and he's he's he's getting dressed in the locker room and he says to his partner like i beat the shit out of some kids today it made me feel alive for the first time in my life. And that's how I felt. Wow. And I feel good about that. No, that's awesome.

Yeah, that's great. I'm happy for you. And having the resources. Yeah. Making YouTube videos. This is the part in Bad Santa. This is you making a YouTube video. I love this movie.

You can't be mad about beating someone up with frosted tips. If you haven't seen it. Dude, you could deep fake Jordan Peterson of that so easily. Yeah, you could. Did you monetize it?

You're just doing it for funsies. I think the next one will be on it. That is what I wanted to say. And that there's something else. I forgot. That's fine. Yeah, that's fine. Oh, having the resources to do gags like that. Did you do yours?

Oh, you know what I'm thankful for, man? I'm thankful for streaming on Twitch.tv because I have fallen in love with it again. It's fun. Oh, you like it again. You've been grinding. What changed? Honestly, half of it is having something to play that i love don't tell me it's a crap game

super auto pets yeah i spent super auto pets i played like 45 of my stream for 40 of my stream in the past 10 days have been super auto pets and i've streamed like something like 80 hours fire back so so it's like if i don't have super auto pets i stream half as much because i do all the other shit like that's all the YouTube stuff and all the content. I like that too, but I can't do double that amount because it's just too much. Right. So it's like having something that I can just boot up and play that also admittedly gets viewers. Yeah.

Because I could boot up and play Valorant and sit with 12K and then feel sad. Yeah. And then lose a match. You wouldn't feel like you're good enough because you aren't, Ludwig. Well, no, because super auto pets I am. I'm correct. Are you correct? I shit the bed last night.

Did you see the sign at main stage? Someone held up the sign. Mango is better than Ludwig at Super Auto Pets. Ludwig was telling me that you can't be cracked at that game. Super Auto Pets? That's what you were telling me. Yeah, to an extent. I think you can be custom, and that's what you can be. Is it a solved game?

It's like auto chess, right? It's like auto chess. You can do certain lines that are like, this is a good team comp. It should generally win. But to win with a more creative team takes a little ingenuity. Like you.

You know what's cool, though? I found out that I have influence. No. Uh-huh. You? I'm an influencer. I've influenced people. Yeah, I was going to say,

we should make a word for that. Yeah. We should call you Influencer Ludwig. Influencer Ludwig. And then you can always pretend like you're fucking getting the orgasm of your life. Influencer Lud. And I say that because Super Auto Pets, Northern Lion streamed it before me. So did Sans, like a month before me.

Respect to the greats. I stand on the shoulders of giants. And the game on Steam, because you can look this up. It's all public info, how many people and the game on steam because you can look this up it's all public info how many people play the game yeah they even show you a how many viewers and then how many people play uh and so it was like 4k ish that was like the peak of the game i'd get like about 4k it's not that old of a game either it's like two three months when i played it first day it like it ticked up to 5k because i played with like saikuno we did a 1v1 and then my tournament is the all-time peak player for the game right also the peak viewership because we had

like you know something like probably like 80k viewers this is this is crazy because do you understand this is what like taco bell paid you for is because of your influence can i keep it a stack sometimes a company will pay me, like Battlefield, and they'll be like, play this game. We'll pay you a shit ton of money. And I play for a couple hours.

And I'm thinking to myself, there's no shot. The amount they paid me, they're getting the return. There's no shot. Because they paid me an exorbitant amount. The game costs like $80, $90 because it's early access.

$80? They did something kind of five-head and scummy. They sold it for $30 extra for one week. And it was like early access. $80? They did something kind of five head and scummy. They sold it for $30 extra for one week and it was early access period. And then after it was a regular release. That's so smart. So it's just like if you're excited about it, it came out a week earlier.

You can get it just because you can pay money to get early access. It's Battleship. No, Battlefield. If I said Battleship, that was a mistake. It's Battlefield. You didn't. You said Battlefield. No, you said Battlefield. I couldn't believe i said battleship you literally said battlefield i'm gonna gaslight myself i said battleship i'm sorry you're right baby um

so i like that i don't we still do the thing i like turn on yeah but you think they are getting their return i well super auto pets hasn't paid me a dime so they're getting your sure juicy return yeah it's Pets hasn't paid me a dime, so they're getting juicy return. It's a free game, too, though. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Are there in-app purchases? Yeah, you can buy, like, another pack to play with different animals. But you don't have to.

Anyway, I thought that was cool. I have influence. So now I'm a game dev. Hey, can we finally make OnderQuest? Can we hire a game team to make OnderQuest? RPGs is not the strategy. I just want to write a game dev. Hey, can we finally make OnderQuest? Can we hire a game team to make OnderQuest? OnderQuest? RPGs is not the strategy. I just want to write a game.

I don't want to program or figure out game design. Dude, you know what we could do? We could pay Cam and Dave to make OnderQuest. Dad, can we make a game?

We could make a game, but it can't be an RPG. I feel like RPGs... It's okay. Whatever. I just want to call it OnderQuest and have it be funny and write it.

Yeah, we can write a game. Yeah, we could do it. All right, Dave and Cam it be funny and write it. Yeah, we can write it. That's it. We can do it. All right, Dave and Cam. Yeah, if you've made it to the end of this episode because both of you are listening. I know you have a kid now, Dave.

I know it's pretty busy. I know we've got a lot. Cam's like, wow, dude, I'll play that. Cam at main stage was so funny. I don't even know how to bake. By the way, can we talk about the thing we did last week? No.

Not talk about it, but allude to it? No. And what are you thankful for nick that the thing we did last week very thankful for honestly uh me and adan were doing advice and we had this question for someone that was like i've just started playing melee right now uh how do i get into it and it led us down this huge rabbit hole of like how much easier it was to get into the community before the pandemic. And how now during and after the pandemic, it's way harder because not even just because the pandemic, but because Facebook's gone. And how like Facebook was such an integral part of being able to just go on every tournament for your tiny micro part of your city.

The west side of this city in wherever has a whole list of tournaments and people who like help you get there etc and i thought about it even deeper and i was just like holy shit man like i got when i graduated high school and i went to college and then i ended up going to like my four-year i was put in that weird twilight zone where like all your friends have gone to different places and uh you now are just like a mini not real adult but then you also have like no friends anymore and you're not really

doing anything and you're trying to figure out what the fuck's going on and if I didn't have Melee actually nothing would've happened. Like I would've just like gone to school got a marketing degree

I don't even know what I'd be doing. What would you be doing? No I'm fucking kidding. Dude you would so not be funny. Oh. Do you think that you'd be funny if you didn't meet Melee?

Yeah. It's the only way I deal with misery. And I would be miserable. I mean, I'd be funnier. He gave his funny origin story. No, I'm saying I'm thankful for Melee because I thought about it and I was like, every single friend I have, opportunity I've gotten, thing I've worked on has been Melee adjacent. And people...

It's been due to me playing that game and like pushing like like being more i've like tried a lot harder for melee than things in my my life before that to like oh i actually want to get actually good at this and not just like good enough to people think i'm good i actually want to like meet people in this like try to say hi to new people which is like something i wasn't doing before and like applying for the job at bts was like i'd never applied for a video production job before there's all these things that like kind of motivated me to do it. And I hadn't felt that before. So also I wouldn't know any of you guys.

And it's harder for people. Yard wouldn't happen. And you wouldn't have your Twitter name. Because like the community is like a little more difficult to find than it used to be. It's like people are potentially missing out on that. I think there's also being online. There's an inherent like toxicity level that is, it's kind of a friction barrier to overcome. because it's online like yeah when you go to a

local you're gonna be toxic to people they're humans like it just doesn't people in discord are way more toxic people on facebook well well no yeah exactly that's what i'm saying i think smashboards though was incredibly toxic it wasn't though it was like incredibly toxic i think is different from like at the end of the day we're all gonna meet up right i think i i think there incredibly toxic is legal legend chat yeah right they got rid of all chat didn't they you know what i mean though the idea of like you'll never meet this person yeah me they rolled it back i think in that riot event after that right event i did have a little moment like where i was on my high horse it was at the end of the event and they had rolled out all the episodes,

and they kind of had this guy on stage making a little speech about how great it's about the community, and that's why we do this. No, it's fucking not, you piece of shit. And in my head, I was like, no, it's not. None of these fucks here who don't know me would ever house me if I just hit them up and they didn't know me. I get what they mean because at the end of my stream i say thanks for watching i'm glad you showed up and i mean

that and i think they are just happy that people are playing their game no absolutely people didn't play their game then they wouldn't it's not that a community doesn't exist but i think it's like coming from coming from this world of like smash where we have spent like years meeting up in person at these events and getting to know a very broad spectrum of people, literally across the world, spending time with them, having a unique web of friendships. Yeah, I can travel to Germany and then post in a group saying, will anyone house me for three weeks?

And they just will. Exactly. And I think because we and everybody else who got to participate in Melee and Smash to an extent in that way, when I hear the words like, you know, this, this community is so great and so special as someone who had played league

and sort of like up loosely a part of the league community. It's like, no, it's fucking not good. Community is not great, but the games in the lore school. Yeah. They got some,

they got some more. The funding's good. It's, it's the elasticity of the word community that I find weird, champ, because you can't... Yeah, is your subreddit for League of Legends a community? No, it's a fucking dogshit cesspool, and always will be, because that's what happens when things are big, anonymous, and online. I think non-funded FGC has always sort of erred in that realm.

Non-fungible FGC. Non-fungible, nice. Of the communities in FGC, especially-fungible, nice. Of like, the communities in like FGC, especially ones that like have low prize pool or whatever and like you kind of just play because the game's awesome

and there's not really any benefit to your life, those communities are usually pretty fucking sick. I have a question for you. Oh. Do you know that there's a giant hole

Yeah, I do. Yeah, I have two nutsack holes. Yeah. I do see those. And it's so that they get enough air. Are we gonna see... Right. So he's wearing pants

and there's these giant holes right here. Right here. That looks like his nuts just burned through the donut. I had a case of hot nuts. Dude, someone's got to break that fucking Sibian in. Oh, he sat down on the Sibian. If you guys aren't going to fucking nut up. So when you sat down on the Sibian, it went through.

It was the Sibian. You get off the Sibian, you're fucking ball sack smoking. I'm like, woo! Sounds like fucking barbecue my mama used to make you know the worst part of melee

for me now is uh I'm doing this series called bro vs bro where I challenge like another streamer and usually I'll just

like do smash cause it's like oh I know exactly what you're gonna say just say it cause I know you're right when you play ultimate they think that like

somehow that transfers over in a way where they beat you dude I know this is the worst thing in the world they're like i thought you were the smash guy how come i can like take games off you oh i guess i'm pretty good i made i made a tweet about this i made a tweet about this like uh i i think like maybe maybe a year ago and i it happened after this is his this has happened so many times over the years and i went over uh to a over to a friend's place, and one of her roommates was into Smash.

And she's like, yeah, I've told him about you. You guys can play. And I was like, oh, that's cool. Figuring that we'll probably play Ultimate, right? But maybe we'll play Melee. It's like at a college, so sometimes people have that too. Show up. We play a little bit of Melee.

That's fun. You know, I'm fucking weird. You chain grabbing them. But he had rolled up a giant a giant plasma tv right so it's so fucking like one and a half seconds and then and then he's like you won't play ultimate and then we roll out the ultimate setup and uh you know it's it's a laggy as shit and he starts winning and this is it happens so many times where you sit down on the shittiest tv imaginable and you start losing in the game that you never play and they're just like i thought you were

good i guess i'm the best there ever was yeah and it's like and and all you can do is like you can either sit there and john and be like look this is this isn't the tv you play on i don't actually play this game and like that's every you're running through like the plus minus of actually explaining this to somebody, but you actually just have to sit there and go like, no, yeah, man. It's just, I'm not actually that good. There's two paths I can follow.

It's never play ultimate again. And just say, no, I play melee. We can set that up, which people aren't willing to do. They won't set it up. Or, and I'm proposing this, we get good at ultimate. Just so that if we play some normies.

We only need to learn one character a little bit. Yeah. No, we don't have to get that good. We just have to get, like, good enough. We have to be one tricks. Fuck it. I'm done. Because, like, I'll say I've only played.

So, like, I've only played, like, a couple serious matches. They're versus Aiden. And give him the work. Give him the quick work. So, it was pretty free. Let's get good. Let's get, like, just slightly good. So, that if a normie's like

Why don't play smash And we go Oh yeah we play melee And be like Oh we do ultimate And be like Alright we can try that I guess And then fucking roll them

Never played it No one for me The last genesis That was IRL in person I went to the after party They usually don't do And there was All the melee setups were full

It was at that venue That like Homey Waffles Like Womacomo thing was in, all that stuff. And the only setup that was available was an ultimate setup. It's like, all right, I want to play video games.

And I get on, and I play Marth in that game, and I just start dicing this person up. And they know I'm slime. They're not saying it, though, but I know they know it. And I'm dicing up like they're Luigi or something. And I'm like this funny mid. I'm trying to L cancel. I'm buffering their Luigi or something. And I'm like this funny mid, I'm trying to L cancel,

it's like buffering my shield and shit. And then the guy, stubborn, keeps playing and then he gets really mad and switches to Cloud, destroys me. And then he was kinda like, kinda like sat up. He was like a little smug about it and I'm like, I made you play like a really hard man. So I like that feeling.

I had a similar experience, I think this was at evo i want to say it was evo 2016 uh yes 16 and i signed up for smash 4 at the time and uh there was these people in my pool one of them had like a jersey on and everybody's there to like compete and like take it seriously of course but smash 4 is like i play i play diddy kong to win this local vape shop tournament yeah that's what i do in my region at the moment and uh i do the same thing i literally do the same thing over and over i get a banana i knock them down with banana and then i either grab or forward smash them and i did this like all that's all i did that was my whole game plan and i did better in

ultimate at that tournament than i did or in smash 4 that tournament than i did at melee and i did better in ultimate at that tournament than i did or in smash 4 that tournament than i did at melee and i remember i beat the guy with the jersey on and he was so upset and all i could think about was like i don't even care about this game dude you were the sonic fox i only entered one pm tournament ever and it was the essentially my first time playing the game i entered the tournament and uh this was like you know like three years ago so it's not that long ago um compared to the lifespan of pm and uh i didn't know that in that game you can uh map your buttons so that they're different and so i sat down on a setup that had a tag but i didn't care so i just left it and the buttons were different and really the only thing that was different was tap jump was turned off and i used tap jump for almost everything in smash so i was

like playing and uh i was playing like i was actually pretty far in the tournament because i had beaten the best pm player just using falco and shooting lasers in like the state i was in like so it's like this is i love because this is in the era where that was still possible because like pm is so like refined and followed by like people who specialize in PM now that you can't get away with this anymore. But it used to be where like if you were just decent at melee, you could like beat really good PM. And I was in like the middle of nowhere, which is like very important to like being able to beat someone like that because I just like spam lasers and whatever. So I'm in the next thing and I'm pretty far in the tournament at this point. But I have very – like you, I have very little investment.

I'm just like there because it was was there it was like five bucks whatever um but i i sd three times in like 10 seconds because i just like jump like with like x or something and then i go to press double jump and i die and i'm like oh he got my jump but because like the visual language of the game isn't really in my brain yet so i just keep thinking i'm losing my jumps i lose the whole set uh instantly like maybe in 30 seconds i lose like each game and you're playing with a qn on tag and i'm i'm just trying to tap jump which people who don't play smash it's just pressing up on the stick and that makes you jump uh that's an option it was turned off so i just kept dying i realize because right after the game the player

i said was like i think you have tab jump off. After the set. Oh, yeah. Not after game one. I love that. Not after game two. They literally only took my stock by hitting me once and then watching me die because I couldn't jump. That's grind set, baby.

And I was like, oh, that's a thing? And I was like, oh. And I go check and it was off. I'm like, oh, shit. I turn it on. I'm like, are you down to just replay? And he's like, no. Fucking right.

And I was like, oh, okay. Do you remember who it was i do i'm not gonna leak though off the record i'll tell you well hey you know wait wait wait i have a real one i have a real no no you know i'm gonna say it in the bonus i have a real one i know you're gonna say so okay listen uh you used to work at snapchat right yes and you a lot of people don't know what your actual job was but it was reviewing snapchat stories they know this but it was in french yeah i've said this all and so did you ever see titties yeah i've told this story many times all right never mind hey let's rewind okay let's go back to when you when you tried to bait and let's do that okay and we'll cut that part out

we don't even need to bait look you come to the bonus episode you get to see the sibian machine yeah not blurred out so we'll put it instead of the fireplace yeah we'll have the sibian machine front and center just for one episode so yeah hop over to the patreon for the bonus step but it's not thanks for watching and have a good thanks happy thanksgiving happy thanksgiving thanksgiving and if you're not american i'm sorry that slime said that thing about that yeah we're a month late if you're gonna do that