The Yard - Ep. 215 - Ludwig Is Back!

Episode Date: September 3, 2025

This week, the boys talk about the aftermath of last episode, Slime leaving a message on Aidens car, and how Slime makes caricatures of everyone.. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Yeah. Okay. Okay. Whoa. So how do you? What are you doing? What are you doing? Right. Yeah, this actually, this tracks. It's so hard to look at you. I'm just navigating the halls of the studio. Dude, you're back this week. No, I just think it is bright, right? So it's like, I think it pretty much solved my problem. Yeah.

I can't look at you. Does it point down or just for it? No, you can point it down. Oh, that's right. You point it out. But then I can't really see anything. Yeah, all right. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, well, you're used to the spotlight. Yeah. You like the spotlight. Well, it's good at, it's good to have a lovely back down. Not a second more. Not a second more after that. That's fun gag, not a second more. Oh, it's good.

Blinks. That's helpful for mail. Maybe if you're like reading mail at like a rave, that's what I feel like. No, no, I like my mail to have a refresh rate on it. That's what I was saying. Usually when I'm gone, you guys fucking go all out and you plan an amazing episode and people go, episode and people go, wow, this pod could really be a thing without Ludwig.

For the first time I realized this pod would fucking die without him. You know, it's funny, it's funny that actually it was a planned episode. That was a whole concept that just didn't really work out. You're all acting. There is no situation with any sort of overhead fixture. We don't even have lights in the office.

It's an open concept. The sun it's like in Fallujah where there's no roof on a building. Well, guys, this is a backyard. Kelby is an actor. Kelby is not an actor. Oh my gosh. That Kelby is, that's a least believable thing. He's a bad actor.

You should have heard him in there talking about Trump and money. Oh my God, dude. I come in, I come in today, and he's like, he's like, so I'm going to ask you a question. And I'm like, I want to return to Babylon, because I was listening to Steel Pulse in the car. And he's like, and he's like, he just kind of pauses and waits for me to end. And he's like, can I ask you a question? I was like, is it about Babylon? And then he said, no.

I'm like, okay, fine. He's like, does Aiden speak Mandarin? And then I look over at Aiden who stands up. But you know, when he was obviously in an argument, he stands up immediately, starts walking over. And I look over and I'm like, yeah. And then Aiden busts out a phrase and you say, Well, Hachua, Zhang Wen.

And then, Kelby's like, no, but I was just saying, I was like, booyal, listen, he speaks Mandarin. And it was like a sitcom. Like I landed the QTE with the one Chinese phrase I know. We waited so long in the meeting this morning that Ludwig's supposed to be in, that we started speaking Chinese in the meeting. That's what, that's what, and then Kelly heard me speak Chinese. He's like, you can't do that. Like, you can't, you can't be racist.

Oh, he was trying to pull a racist card. And then I was like, Kelby, I'm not, it's not racist. I'm speaking actual Chinese. That's what, it's like, he thought your Chinese was fake racist Chinese. Yeah, which is worse. And that is way worse. Oh, it's him being the racist. Yes.

What's more racist? Aiden speaking Chinese or lovely speaking Japanese? Because it's really a close fight. Oh my God, interesting. Muzukashi. Right. Geopolitically, he's punching further down.

I would argue I could even be punching up. They both come from fetishes, though. 100%. These are both fetishes of foreign lands. Mine is not a fetish. Yes, it is. I am sexually attracted to Shohi Otani. And I want him to die the greatest man

on earth. What does that have to do with you? How could you influence that process at all? I actually fully understand K-pop stands for the first time my life. Through show hey. Through show hey. Can you explain? I think K-pop stands truly love the the people they watch so much and listen to that they want them to be mega successful. And so they, and so they restream their music, they promote it, they're telling everyone to stand Luna. This might be actually racist. And in the same way, this might have broken the ironic scene. In the same way, I want to be a little bit like that with Shohay. I want like a Shohay profile picture. I want to tweet out

every accomplishment he's ever had. And I want to sway the public opinion to believe he's the greatest baseball player. And you want to secretly collect bats and cover them in lotion and do whatever you will. My profile picture on letterboxed is you and your Shohei Otaniat. Mine's like him in a du rag.

Hell yeah. No, I think it's just such a crap shoot that like why couldn't Ludwig have been really obsessed with like the Dominican in Republic. Getting into baseball and being like, I get K-pop now. Yeah.

Hold up, hold up. I'm saying because I saw a few show hey stands. And they were like K-pop stands on Twitter. It's like a fan cam where it's like slow motion. He's like, Dumb-Dum-Dum-D-D-D-D-M-E. Except instead of like... Hearts come out of the ball and...

Instead of digging on other K-pop groups, it's like, sorry, Kyle Schwerber. You're not MVP this year. Oh, that's so funny. It's such a next level of sports fans. They really have captured something. We were watching, Trump didn't announce that he's fucking dying yet, but we were all kind of sitting around waiting.

That's not going to be the announcement, by the way. No, he's going to go up and be like, I had a stroke and be speaking in an insane accent. In the middle of the speech he's going to cough, like the movies, and he's going to look in the blood. And then he's going to try to hide it.

He's going to wipe it on his head out on his pants. And then only the really loved people in his life will notice it. Yep. Someone in the YouTube chat in Fox 31 Detroit or whatever YouTube channel, it was just, it was obviously getting spammed like crazy,

like insane shit and someone just said skull emoji I am going to be the best pirate skull emoji and I was like I get that reference okay really quick

before we get an episode at you know at large you look like you were getting in and out but I also got something okay that was crazy is it in that dark space back there I also don't

hey cool knife he pulled out of a knife oh my god that is a sharp knife What is this, do you think? What is a bigger knife? Best guess. Bigger knife?

A bigger knife. Aiden, best guess? Probably, probably a chandelier. It's zoot. Wow. You can get one light. Yeah. We can do it all.

Or two. Or three. Wow. Wow. Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. For audio listeners, we didn't explain it, but Aidan's wearing like someone who mines cold. I look like I came in the modern warfare two space. He's wearing a headlamp.

A headlamp. That's the word for it. Yeah, but it's like a, it's, it's no ordinary headlamp. It's pretty high-tech. Like, Home Depot has headlamps. It's like, no, it's not for runners. It's not for runners. It's for, that's for, that's for a special ops mission.

It's too big for runners, bro. It's three lenses. It could be for bikers. Yeah, I got to, it, the company that sold this is very like camping pro America, get out and hunt, coded. Okay, some sort of canvas. Wow. I got something because I think we do rag on eight in a lot.

I will say this. Did you say we do rag on Aiden? Do you rag on A lot. Do rag on A lot. I do rag. I will say this. Some people on the insane website are infantilizing him like he's a fucking child. Don't weigh that around. He's not a child.

He's a grown fucking man. And we're all fucking friends. And when one of us disappears, you'll know something went wrong. Hey. But it's gone now. I got you something. I got something made for the office and we'll be able to see it with your headlamp. Wow.

Wow. This was actually an art piece that we had made years and years ago for a postcard. That's beautiful. It's a golden brush but it's Aiden

and he's wearing his Fortnite Bluntiaga fit. Man, you should dye your hair blonde again. You should go back blonde? You think it looks fine? I think the blonde with the brown undercut.

Oh, this is for you. That's kind of money. That looks great. What happened on a Fortnite Blenciaga? Do you want to put it right here maybe? It's a, you know what's fun? It was lost to the Connor Eats Pants

closet for about a year because he borrowed it for an event. He stole it. Borrowed it? Shut up. Dude, I can't go back to back episodes with this. I can't go back to back. You just said it.

That's how you said it. I just need to go. That's how you said it. And this is nice. I like this. That's nice. We're going to put it. Many options.

Many white walls. Ooh, yeah. What white wall in this office should we put it on? What do you guys choose? I wish. We put Kelby facing a wall, which is good in here.

Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, I'm going to put it in the background of Kelby's webcam shot. Oh, yeah, in the background's better because then everyone sees it. Yeah, dude, by the way, I almost had a big mishap. I was on my computer, which is behind Christians, and I'm scrolling Twitter like a normal person. I would argue this isn't his fault. I would argue, it's not my fault. I'm pre-defending you. I promise you, and I followed Dan Benson on Twitter.

Yeah. And so, dude, I think I walked in and watched this happen. Because when I walked in, I immediately saw your monitor, and I saw you get all the way down to where the vein ends And then he scrolled back up and I literally just laughing that that's crazy But I didn't know that there was anyone on a call in front of you did you look at the on air signs There were no on our signs. They weren't on. Yeah, I always look. I just walked in Yeah, I always look because because I come up to Kelby and before I say something to his dumb ass I check because that's the right thing to do now. It's not his fault. I promise that that I

I would say it's not his fault then. His 7.9 inch demon. He doesn't have a dame on. It's a dame on just fucking just flopping in the Twitter win. He's got to kaiju down there. It's angry. But yeah, and I was like, well, okay, if Christian has Cameron, which he doesn't and he never does really, that might have shown up. That might have been bad.

But I try to be good, man. I'm a good bear at the whole office. I try to be good. I barely didn't show a penis on someone's AT&T call. Is that AT&T call? What's wrong with someone doing their best? Is something wrong with that? If the best is barely getting by with that, it's pretty bad.

Is something fucking wrong with that? Is it so? Nothing inherently wrong to do your best. It just feels like when you do your best is... I didn't show a penis head. Showing a penis on the AT&T call and be like, Oh, Verizon! Oh, what the hell?

Oh, that's no what that is? I hate that. Slime's been weirdly sexual to me while I've been gone. This is not true. While you've been gone? Yeah, well, I've been gone for a week because I was, dude, I was in France and I got sick.

Yeah. So I haven't been in the office. You can A-I-A. Were you sexually explored in France? Is that why you're sick? I was sexually explored by Michael. You should see Michael. And then I get a message, and it's from Simon.

It goes, what are you doing, man? Let me see that thick, thick monster down there. That cinder block of a penis. Oh, hold on. So when you said, that's not true. What exactly were you going to get? I'm sorry, I'm not done. Haven't talked to you in a week

Take a pick with a flash on And then I wrote I'm sick, sad face And he read oh shit French flu And then Yesterday hit me up again It said just let me hit once

Question mark We won't Don't have to do mouth stuff And I said you can't hit man I'm taken And he reacted with the rolling eyes emoji Giraffe Mind Explosion

And then he said you should watch trygun. Yeah, he did say you watch try gun. I mean, I'm just talking to my fucking friend. Yeah, that sounds like he was trying to my fucking friend. But it's some cap. It's some cap bullshit when he's like, I'm taken I can't fucking let you blow my, let me change my life. Yeah. Because you're

going to France with Michael and you guys are making it stink in the fucking Chateau Romani. Huh? It's in France. That's in France. Doesn't count. The Chateau Ramani anything goes. Did she go to France the last time when we went? No, no, no, no. Yeah, the last trip

You've been to Paris with Cudy? Never. So you took Michael to Paris? Never, never. Before Cudy. No, I took him to Paris twice before Cudy. And I'm going to take him a third time before her. That's cool.

You're badass. Well, she was busy making cakes, bro. She'd been streaming her ass off. She was sure her eyes off. I don't think I've talked to her in like a month. Yeah, she's been busy as hell. You know what? Tell her what?

I say, come this time. Please. Are you scared to flight still? You never do. Really? Is it the whole plane? did they made a new plane but they've been crashing like not as

much recently what was that little period where they all crashed I think it was I think it was I don't know Aiden you're a plane guy Aiden politics guy Aiden Polite guy hey L.S guy chime in with your headlamp

chime in yeah I just need to look at the plane Aiden looking under the hood It's real dark in here Is anyone attempted to read off When you guys build the planes Is it well lit in the warehouse

and you build them in dude the Boeing factory and they're like making a plane and it's like got awesome like IKEA mood lighting yeah and that's the reason they all start crashing recently they got the sharks on the side too

on the couches the mood lighting is way too chill for them to try you know like Nick just folding his arms smiling like it looks really sick there was one dude in the Patreon comments last week

and he just said this episode goes crazy on mute and it made me laugh really hard And I let him know. I was like, that made me laugh, dude. And then on my flight home this weekend, last night, that guy was on my flight. There's no way.

He could have just lie. No, I was the guy that made that comment. It's unlikely. He said the specific comment. Wow. Yeah, he just rolled up on the plane. Was he, was he like, was he good looking? Was he good looking?

Yeah, he was a good looking. Oh, oh, my God. Oh, my God. What? Imagine asking a girl, and it's like, did he have good looking? She's like, yeah, you're good looking. He was handsome. It's called the back pedal.

You did this on L.S. a lot. If he said, if he said, I have a girlfriend, I would be, yes, that seems about it. He wouldn't be like, boh-oh! The way you're talking about him, with your intonation, makes him sound like the ugliest. It was great. That's like how Jerry Seinfeld. What are you talking about? If he is, this is a, this is a rough spot, right?

Because if he's beautiful, if he's beautiful, and he's, and he's, a viewer. This is a weird thing to say. Yeah. Right? It would be weird to it's not weird if he asks you. It's not weird. I'm asking. But if you brought it up kind of unsolicited, it gets weird, but him inviting you in and you'd be like, he was beautiful. I was just asking if a man on

this earth was beautiful. Is that stupid to do? No, he was beautiful. I'm sorry. You need to get better. I'm sorry. You probably look great. We think you look beautiful based off your messages. We haven't had the opportunity. Gorgeous fan challenge, y'all. If you think you're gorgeous, send Aiden a picture. Let him read you.

Okay. It's the Gorgeous fan challenge, y'all. Okay. You need you to submit a photo to Aiden. But it's got to be public. No private messages. It's got to be a public reply to Aiden. You gotta, if you're only 10s, 10s only. But wait for his political tweets.

Wait for his political tweets. Get your little last nine's out of here. Yeah, I want you guys to reply with yourself, with your gorgeous selves. You guys have destroyed my Instagram. Let's see that smile, y'all. My Instagram is unusable. We've destroyed your Instagram from the ground up. Yeah, bitch.

And you've, and now you're tearing it down. Now we took it away Now you're tearing it down Because I went to Nantucket Which is what it Nantucket is what you guys think Sweden is White Paradise It is the white paradise

It's insane It is so It's so white It's filled with a bunch of white people Nantucket is quite white Who could make a four person TSA line The last 15 minutes That's full of

That's what's full of And it's It is what you picture Sweet it is When I got Honestly when we talk Sweden it's what I remember New Hampshire to be right well we remind you of that that's she make sure you know that's like 90% white I know but but your

Instagram because he said this last episode I don't know if you listen it was a banger it was a banger after the one part but it truly you're actually talking about it like I talk about like anime this is awesome so you should watch it get through the we made it we made it was 20 20 it was 20 it's like 16. I don't even think it's 20. Oh, only 16 of lights. But after that, it was sick. This is the same thing as One Piece.

Is it not? This is like, the equivalent ratio is that the first, no, the equivalent ratio is that the first 150 episodes of One Piece are dog shit. No, because the first 10 are good. So I imagine, because I also thought when we recorded the main episode, I was like, God, that first part sucked, but the rest of it's really funny. I was like, I'm imagining the fan who watches the main episode for like two minutes and is like, maybe the Patreon this week is better.

And they don't watch it, go to the Patreon, and they click all the way through, and they're like, did they talk about it for two and a half hour, or three hours? No, it wasn't that bad. But what I'm saying is on that episode, he was talking about he went to Sweden, and on his Instagram, he's like, I look at these pictures from Sweden.

Because I read downloaded Instagram. And everyone's writing White Paradise in the car. Oh, my God. Yeah. Every single comment is about how, I mean, the two comments that are on my Instagram posts are about the, how many white people are in the place, am I happy with the amount of white people?

And then the other comments are, are, wow, it looks a little too bright out there, Aiden. Maybe we should, and I'm just locked. You can never be single again. Because if you have to date and she's like, oh, look him up, see what he's about. And it's like white paradise, love your white parents. Do you hate dogs mostly or all of the way? He's like this guy in Neo-Nazi. It's like a neo-Nazi Discord group.

We're all his friends. Because your Instagram is like Not big enough to look like You're like an online celebrity No, no It doesn't have like the little blue check With the comments to look like you are a part of a Nazi group Well, hold up, hold up

I could be really big in my local chapter And still have the same following You know I have a blue check on Instagram Yeah, it's fake What do you mean? Wait, we mean blue check on it Oh, you're right What are you talking about?

My blue check's fake Oh I buy it I pay for my blue check Wait, you could, I didn't even know you'd do that on Instagram. What made you want it on Instagram? I think you need the check to unlock monetization. Wait, if you...

Is that true? Whoa. I think that's what it was. You got to pay, it's kind of like life. You know, because X is dog... X has everything. X has everything. X has everything.

But that's also why X is dog shit. It is too much, you know? So I expect their changes to be shitty, but doesn't Instagram changing it? It defeats the purpose of what the check mark was. As soon as you can pay for it, it's over. No, because Instagram wasn't the same where, like, verified users were, like, trusted sources

in the same way the X was because you weren't delivering information and news on there. Yeah. Like, I feel like that was the reason the checkmark was kind of cool. On X. On X.

The Everything app. We're calling it X now. Yeah. Oh, I mean, it is the Everything app where everything happens. You can bless your glory. I think I had my first unironic X the Everything app this morning

when you were looking up the stream for the Trump announcement because he was asking, we were trying to figure out where to watch it and in my head I was like, check X. It has to be on X. Well, we're going to miss the announcement and because we're here, assuming it goes live

while we're doing this, what do you guys think it is? We can predict. It's not even happened yet. I can't, it still hasn't been crazy. By the way, I tweeted something. I want you guys to know, I want to ask you. You tweet it on the pod? No, no, it was earlier but I think it's a discussion topic and I want to know if you guys agree.

I said, if I wasn't in Aiden's life, he would use the white-skinned versions of emojis. I think, I think he's a hop and a skip away. I do think he could be, he could be gatewayed there pretty fast without you. Because if he was doing it, I don't,

like, I might bring it up, but I also might not. You would bring it up almost immediately. I would bring it up immediately instantly. And he would do it, by the way, me being present in his life

has stopped him from doing this preemptively. What do you think? Remember when Hitch used the black emojis? Dude, that was crazy. What was that? Why can he use an emoji you like? No, he did it before he got the cornrows. Oh. Right. No, but you have to believe that one like

him has had cornrows before, right? That wasn't his first time on the, on the, on the, I think we should pick the emoji that celebrates what we like the most. Really? Yes. Okay. You know, you, y'all are just default andies. So you're just doing baseball glove emoji? If I could, if I could, if every emoji I could do was show Hey Otani's face, I would do it. Well, That's why you should primarily use Discord. Dude, just a series of like, you know, emojis. Like, the pregnant woman emoji, but it's Shohei instead. Dude, I should get, that's what I should do for my channel emotes.

I should delete all of that. That's pathetic. And I should get 50 Shohei Otani emoys. Do you have any guilt? Do you have any guilt? I'm so glad I put this out there because I can see the real baseball heads latching onto this. They're disgusted with the fact that you weren't excited to meet Freddie Freeman.

they bring it up a lot. Whoa, whoa, hold up. I wasn't not excited to meet Freddy. I didn't meet him. I thought he was there. He was there, but he was lying down with his kid and I didn't want to interrupt father, son time. But, like picnic blanket? No, he's actually just dead ass lying down like Coots does. Like his kid was running around. He's just lying down. Oh, like me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. On the grass. On the grass. Okay, I can respect that. And I didn't want to interrupt him, so I didn't go up to say hi. The only people who I talked to are people came to the deco, deco booth. It is funny. I, because sometimes I'll like lie down on the floor of an airport. Like, I lie down a lot. Oh, yeah. And I do think,

I don't think I've ever had a fan approach me while I was lying down. I think it's a nonverbal, like, not right now. It's a very vulnerable position, which is why I've been a bit mad at you, actually. Because you put in the group chat a picture of Kelby being very... That was me.

No, that was Nick. But I'm very mad at you now. Let me say this. I would have done the same shit because I had the same idea. It was Colby in a very vulnerable position getting cozy on the couch. And is there nothing?

sacred in this world. Do we want to show it? No, we don't. Why? I forbid it. I forbid it. What if I ask him? I thought you could get an artist's interpretation or he's going to say no. I thought he looked awesome. He didn't look awesome. He looked comfortable. He looked open.

Open? No, he was closed. He was very closed. You're his boss. You can't say that. Open minded. He looked open-minded. Oh, he looked open-minded. Oh, he looked open-minded. He looked open-minded. I can say he looked open-minded. Really? Are you open-minded?

I want to litigate. You can't litigate that. I'm going to take over this company. And I think it's too violent. I bet he said no. No, he said no. He said, yeah. Swear?

Yes. Swear to God. All right, fine. I think. He said it like it was a dumb question. Also, Trump didn't have a stroke. He's talking normal. Yeah.

Sipers says, obviously. I don't know. I don't feel like it was up to say. I thought he was glue, bro. I think the people getting uptight about the hand thing. I was like, that's just an old people think, man. It isn't old people thing, but I thought he'd be glue.

Yeah, because you just been reading Twitter That's what Twitter said No, I mean, I wanted it Did the sun the sunlight is hitting him And I'm, I just think he looks Oh my God, it's crazy Yeah Did you see my Kelby photo?

What about my Kelby photo? Why do you got a Kelby photo? Okay, you didn't even look I don't care when you see this photo This is you missed the conversation we have When you walked out of the room I want you to evaluate this photo Is Kelby open or closed?

It's a great question You know Let's see the image There was like a lag. Like my brain had to interpret all of it for an eternity. Is he open or is he?

Is he? Is it a picture of an open man or a closed man? I don't want to say what we think. It's pretty apparent. Maybe I'm He is so beautiful. He's gorgeous, dude. It's the, it's the, dare I say, the lighting. The lighting helps a lot, yeah.

I mean, Picasso, I think he's closed, though. He doesn't want to talk. I think he's closed. He doesn't want to talk. Because if his eyes were looking at me, he's open for business. Oh, the eyes are where the whole is the key to the soul for you. That's actually deep as hell. Wow. Because for me, it was the cannonball.

Sure. There's an open door. This won't be free. Yeah, but the canon. This is not free for you, is what he's saying? The cannonball on the couch is like, it's like a playful no. It is a playful no. Yes.

It's like a, not right now. I don't want to talk right now tonight. I love and I love the And you were the guy who's going to litigate me Just to clarify You were the guy who's going to litigate me You're his boss, sir I'm talking about conversing with it

Yeah, okay But there's a subtle... We have to talk for work There's a subtle detail in this photo Because he's moments away From being sunglasses on At any point he could Oh my god, he loves it on

But they're not If he turns the other way He turns the other way Into the sun Turns the other cheek Oh Turns the other cheek They're right there

They're so close Anyway that's Calvo yeah I went up and asked him I was like you know that picture we took of you that you look beautiful can we use that on the yard can we talk about it and show it he's like yeah so I don't want to hear some shit next time you're infantilizing him like they infanticized

fucking pussy boy diaper man you do this thing where you create caricatures of people who work in this office wait did you listen to the pre-mo like creating fucking characters of people did you listen to the last 15 minutes of the prema episode best rangers of course not okay that's what I thought

Because that's crazy. Because this is exactly what we talk about in the end of that video. Well, we did a bit we were like, okay, well, what else could we all improve on as humans? And these guys brought up this crazy insane take.

Why don't we see? Why don't we see? I want to have Ludwig guess. Because ultimately we each had one thing that we presented to the others is that this is the psychoanalyzed problem that you need to deal with and navigate. I want you to guess which one came up for each of us.

Well, okay. that's a fun activity. For starters, slime creates characters of people in the office where Kelby in some people's minds if they've never seen him or met him is like

fucking Chuckie cheese and he walks around going puggers AT&T deal, poggers. He kind of knows. And he's got thick squidward thighs in a red neck.

Oh, God. And in many people's minds that's who you are. You can't forget about Kelbo's big arms. And, and you tore down, shake drizzle with this,

to the point where he stopped going to the gym, stop playing league. Oh, no, he plays league. I promise you, he plays league. Stop, oh, he was not. No, he was doing that, too.

Yeah, he's done before. He's done it before. Son of a bitch. Well, uh, so that's your problem. Yeah. And I'm worried about your next target. You know, God forbid Christian.

Oh, God. Christian's too chill, man. How could you attack him? He's chillish. He got ultra fucking strong in a matter of six months. you know Neo when he's

when he's catching the hands but he's kind of like looking at how he's stopping them and it's all he's confused that he's so good it's real time for him that's Christian

interacting with slime yeah I'd be like Christian don't you give a shit about these lights and he looks over he's like not really Christian

Christian like a very reasonable guy can immediately ask himself why would I care what this guy thinks at all yeah in my normal life why would I ever give this time

it's very refreshing so it's your it's your flaw is that it yeah yeah what do you well mine has a bigger clue because mine was the yeah what do you think the light conversation filtered down into you know remove it from that conversation altogether what's the problem um i i probably your internal racism of loving white people you know what's the problem we got to stop it's good this is going to come back Okay, hey, welcome to the Misogyny bit, bro. How does it feel to be on the other side?

I love that. Oh, massagies? Oh, my God, two massages? Two Christmases? Wow. No, yeah, it was probably some bullshit about the damn fucking lights and your stubbornness

and your unworthiness. I literally get uneasy even talking about it in this kind of context. No, it's funny. Well, we get Ludwicks taken. It's very brisk. All right, what's next problem?

Nick's problem. He's going to be real. Nick's problem. But you say it was it's gonna be real? His is real. Not as real as fun. No, no, I'm saying because it's for you. And you look like the bellotro clown with your hair. Because his next problem is that he's growing his hair out too long and now he looks like a blotro clown. Yeah. It's like, bro, it was hot, but like could call it quits at some point. No one to fold them. You look, you look like I'm about to get a multiplier. I think it looks good, man.

It doesn't hurt. I think it looks good, man. Can't hurt me. The zipper pull up, Ronald McDonald. Donald. I don't look like raw. I don't look like Ron. I can't ask him to put it on. Don't bring Ron out on this. You know what Catchy the clown came on the show? It's like if we give it another month, he wouldn't have even had to put on the wig. Catchy the clown and he's just got got a perm. Dude, dude, what if we did a perm? I know. I knew someone was about to say that.

Dude. It would be crazy. Get a perm bitch. And then you just cut it. Oh my God. He would look crazy. What's crazy is the development for Roan. I think I brought off. Roan getting a pern? No, I'm saying Roan has gone through some crazy, like how long does the RD&D take that Roan started the first episode with that hair

and now it looks like damn this. What does that mean? You've had an insane development. Oh yeah, I'm currently hot in the show. No. I'm in the phase of my hair where it looks really good in the show. You don't think you look good?

It's going to get too long. You don't think you look good right now? Oh, I don't know Let me Let me look at my most recent evidence What about like now? I can't Well, that was awesome

I can't really see anything So I don't know, fuck you guys Dude I hope you are dead soon I've been playing I've been playing league with shake Most nights

As like a ritual And it's really Because we'll just play normals And I'm like Hello honey Knock knock it's time for our duos And he'll He'll be like

I can't I'm playing ranked I'm like okay fine So I have to wait till like two in the morning And then we'll play like three normals And he will play a jungle champ He has never played I'm volleyball bear Top Lane

And he will just play someone he's never played And we'll lose the game And he'll just be like, I'm so sorry I'm sorry I'm like this I'm such a piece of shit Like Jake Jake refuses to play Carthus Because he's like I don't want to stop this lobby

And then he never wins on any other fucking champ I think that's fair I respect that more But after he goes like, God, I'm fucking so pathetic I'm fucking oaf, I'm a loser. Like, I'll go like 05 and laying in some matchup I've never played and he's like, I'm just the fucking, like, why do you even be friends with me? It's so fucking funny.

See, he has been deconstructed. He's got a, he does have to work through some things if that's how he's acting. But this is what you did to him. Oh, I didn't do anything. No, actually, I do call him crazy shit. Because I'll be like, I'll die solo in Lane. And then I'll be like, my juggler is a fucking should not be allowed near schools.

And he's the jungler. Yeah, you got banned because you tweeted out at Riot. Why can I not type a child molester without getting, you know, timed out? But I can type pedophile all day long. Here's how it works when you play a league of legends. If you type in the word child molester, you get. Instamuted where you cannot talk for the rest of the game. I think that's good.

Right, but I can say pedophile as much as I want. What if it's a callout? What if it's like we're trying to be, we're trying to be inconspicuous about what we want to do, and we're typing in all chat. Let's go CM. And it's like, let's go child molester. Go Child molester in five. Go CM. No, because CM would get conflated with like

coconut mall. Herston Wood would conflate with coconut mall. So the problem, yeah, is that you can say one thing, but the other thing is like free reign. This is an obvious answer. No. I read this and I thought, what a dumb question. They're both nouns.

Yes, but one has an ugly word. Ugly word. Oh, so pedophiles a beautiful word. Yeah, pedophiles. Pedophiles, nice. Wow. It's Latin. It's Latin root.

I haven't, sorry, go ahead. Well, I tweeted that and someone's like, you should at Drew Levin. He's like the guy that responds a lot to balance changes and shit. He's like, he's been great with handling shit. I don't think they read the tweet. I was like, okay. And then I added him. Dude, that's insane.

somebody's type that. I know. That's insane. And you're also, don't say I know, because then you tagged them. Yeah, because they told me to. So you're also insane. He didn't answer. I think it's an interesting, I would love his thoughts. It's not an interesting question. Yes, it is actually interesting. Two and a half years ago, this man was invited to riot games's campus to film and talking about her. What if I'm ADC and my support is a child molester. I'm trying to warn everyone. And I'm like, guys, there's a child molester in pot lane. Like, we have to throw. We can't let him want. And I get banned for that. I get banned for that. I get banned for. It's not fair. I'm solo queuing, and I find out my AED is Drizzy Drake. It's like, what am I supposed to do, not fucking say something? So you're basically running into a Roblox situation. Oh, yeah, but you explain what that means for everyone else. There was a to catch a predator series on Roblox. Oh, no.

And the YouTubers who ran it got banned from Roblox. And Roblox doesn't want them to catch the predators. And then Roblox is like, oh, so you banned the catchers. but not the Predators. Wow. And then ever got really mad at Roblox, and big Roblox creators were like, I'm dumb playing Roblox to fix this.

And it was a down period for Roblox. Big Roblox created other nine-year-olds. We're like, I'm done playing this game. And Creakrifts. And Bundon's out of a job. And Bun Dunn. That's just saying Bund. Bund on him.

And so you're saying Riot games is the same because they're not allowing you to catch a predator. But why are we using the word? instead of. Well, because I want to be, because language is beautiful and should be precise. Mm-hmm. I'm just saying, I understand, but they should both be muted, or none of them. That's all. I think, because I typed that and then I couldn't, I couldn't talk about going barren the rest of the game. I think pedophile is fine, because what if you're like, do you guys think Drake's a pedophile? I even be fine. But do you guys think Drake's a child molester? No, it's ugly. I hate it. I hate, every time you say it, I,

too squeamish. Yeah, you're squeamish. I think the word is ugly. They are different, they are different things. It is kind of like Christian Catholic Where it's like one is both Yeah, because a pedophile And one is A separate thing a little bit Yes Yeah

What you're squeamish You know what's worse The act What the fuck is that As an argument I don't know I'm just the truth I'm sorry

It's just the hard The cold hard facts So And he seems uncomfortable Admitting that And you think Okay We're talking about

You talk about You talk about the Reasley single list So much I think you're on that ho You guys gotta get off Did you miss us Devin? Legends. No. Being in here

for 40 minutes, I'm like fuck, man. Life was simpler in Europe. You fucking smoke cigarettes. You race car, man. And you fuck your friend, Michael. We get it. You fuck your awesome friend. Michael hours long. Sleep good. What did you do? Hold on. Hold on. Speaking of

precise language. Speaking of precise language, this is the day the day after we recorded all this shit last week. And I'm I have a busy day. It is back to back. meetings, recordings, every hour of my day is packed out. And I have to go in the 15 minute slot I have before at lemonade stand. I have to go get something to eat because it's my only

chance to eat until like five. And I walk outside. I'm already kind of late. And then on the back of my car written in the dust on the window is I am a pedophile. Oh man. I forgot that I did that. It's just in massive letters. So now, I can't, I can't drive like I can't go to the gas station sandwich shop and park in the lot when I'm a better at least it wasn't I am a child molester I have to move and like maneuver my car

through our parking lot to get close enough to the hose and then the host is wrapped around the metal gate that we have near the door and it has a kink in it so the water won't go out and I'm like trying to wash the words off the back of the car but it's not working I took a saw one, but it was too bright and you can't even see it.

So I end up, I'm running out of time. Like, I'm gonna be late to the next thing I have to go to. So I managed to get the middle part washed off but not the sides because it was like drier dirt. And now it just says, I'm file

on either side of the car. And then I just drive to get my food. Sit a file. Yeah, it could be out of things. I think you could have just driven without fixing it. The people in the store would have just seen it on your face.

I don't think. I think I jumped. I don't think I should be lumped in with him when we talk about who can have an opinion around here. You know what I mean? Nah, y'all are the same. That feels a little bit different. Y'all are both people who don't work at the office

who cause mayhem. Mayhem. Yeah, you're like the fucking commercials. I work at this office. Nick sold me. We have to stop saying they don't work here. Wait, why? We can't have this argument again.

I'm with you, obviously, but can't do it. We got to skip this. Look, he sold him because, look, man, we haven't talked about it on the main, bro. D&D's going crazy. This is, look, here are the new tenants of the yard. You ready? It's called, it's called the 3L system.

Beep. Called the 3L system. There's no talk about League of Legends. There's no talk about the lights. Yeah. And there's no talk about Ludwig being late. Ooh, I like that. These are the three tenants, the three L's.

Two excess, by the way. If we speak on the LES, we take an L. I thought you were just going to say, Lasketball. Last, basketball. What is this, Aiden at the BBL? Lights Paradise. The list?

No, we can talk about the LIS. People like that one. place that does talk about that. True. Seems like, maybe that's what Trump's about to fucking, maybe he's about to just, maybe he's just to drop the scroll on the ground and just go through it.

I heard a song that inspired me and then he fucking drops it like Santa Claus. Dude, what if he wrapped the list? And then he goes in the more mumble rap when it's, when it's the part that he's on. Like when he's,

and he's like, what do he say? I don't know like designers. Dude, did you guys hear that Carlos stepped in human poop? What? Bro.

I heard it was cat. Well, I heard it was cap. It's probably cat poop. Basically, Carlo left his, like, keys here or something, but then, like, the gate was open, and then, like, a homeless man showered himself for, like, an hour using our hose. That's one of the butt showers, one of the showers you sit down in. And during this time, he also took a poop, and he stole the keys out of, like, Carlo's car, but without taking the car.

Been there. And then he left a poop near the car. And Carlo came to get it and solved this problem, and then he stepped in the man's poop. How did he get the keys back? Well, the poop is insurance. That's how you know he'll be back with the keys. He had to get a new key fob. Yeah.

His car didn't get stolen. Wow. Which is crazy. They just took the keys, not the car. My theory is that they thought the keys were to the building. So they're like, I'll come back. Like they don't know I stole these. Right.

Because there is a regular key on it, too. There was a male key on it. And then also a fob. Anyway, he stepped into a mail. man's poop. Beginning to this saga is just a tale

of stereotypically bad decisions I would say Carlo Carlo called me at 11 p.m. to tell me this this happened to him and I was just like

man it sucks let me know if anything and I hung up I'm like what do you want me to do Carlo I'm watching fucking I'm watching stepbrothers on the couch what do you step in poop

what do you want me to do go full Gavin Newsome tear down every homeless encampment in a 10 square mile radius just going over there they came with a flame thrower

Yeah We're the Olympics are coming We gotta do something Dude we and Ludwig Had a We went got tacos That one day

That he was That Aiden was on L.S and he was hell late We got tacos And we came back And Ludwig The fourth hell

Started The conversation He was like How long do you think You'd be homeless for Like a challenge And I was like I don't know

Like a year bro Like fuck it We can do this And Ludwig was are surprisingly honest. You said what like... Said it go like maybe a month? Yeah, like maybe a... No, you said like two weeks. Maybe two weeks, yeah. Yeah, and I was like

things are different now. That would be difficult. Usually he'd be more competitive here. Wait, is that you're saying if it was a voluntary challenge where you can like stop being homeless at any given time? Yeah, Mr. B's challenge. Oh. Yeah. I would love... Dude, I would urban camp like that one Malcolm in the middle episode. You should do a YouTube series

like challenge accepted? Mm-hmm. But it's always for making him prove the things he says he can do. Yeah, see, this is why I asked him the question is because slime, you know, famously loves talking about how he could sleep on the floor, how he doesn't need nothing. He could sleep Olivia Rodrigo and won't his bunch. I believe that. And I think, and we think sometimes he holds on to a version of his past self that might not exist because maybe he likes, you know, some of the cushier things he has. So I thought, I thought he was going to be like, I could be homeless my whole fucking life. I thought he was going to be like, I thought he's

be like full on like I can be homeless every day like I don't need shit I don't need shit bro I wake up I wake up I take a hose bath it's the best bath I ever fucking had

I sleep on the floor so I don't even a problem for me right right but you did him to the test I think genuinely he could do a year he can do what a year he said a year

I think he could do a year a year is like do I think he quits less than a month what are you talking about you know what the fucked up thing is you know what the fucked up little thing is I think it's true I think if it's for a video, you last longer.

100%. I got to show the world. What happened to the realness? Well, because he'd have to prove it. But, yeah, I guess it's just proving it to more people, more pressure. Yeah, I mean, I think it's the value of proving it to so many more people. I think that you're, I think that your, what you're willing to do in life is expanded by content. It's expanded, well, you use the word.

You would not have done, if we did a field day of sports, you would not show up to that. You use the word content, I use the word audience, which to some may be a synonym, but I think they're pretty different. But you wouldn't do it if it was like for a small video that not a lot of people would see? I think I'd still do it. Well, then it's not about the audience, right? But it's about an audience, and the scale of the audience is a factor, and it's not invisible. But I think it's a pretty, I have a pretty simple value system. It's be funny and have an audience.

I think that's true. And you know what I realize? I realize the pause become more successful. successful. Okay. You want to try again, Trump? No, I feel like I get it

the second time. And the second time's good for me. It's becoming more successful and the RDs make us more money and get richer. And I was talking

to Connor about it because he's like, yeah, the Patreon goes crazy. And I was like, yeah. Which Connor? Sea Dog. Because he's here.

Oh, your old flame? Wait, he's back? He's in town, yeah. Your old flame? Is he jealous? My old flame. You and Michael? You and Michael?

I don't tell him about me and Michael. Yeah. It's just good that you guys are friends That's just what we do in France Dude, it's literally Queen's Gambit In the beginning when she hooks up with that one guy With the fuck, like the weird eyes And he's like, she's like, yeah, I don't know

I'll have sex with this guy sometimes And then she fucks that one stud And she's like that's what that's supposed to feel like That's, dude, that's Michael Ludwig I'm starting to worry about how many hot dogs You just eat instead of anything else You're worried about how quickly I ate them?

I get that. No, no. It's just really, it takes up such a majority of your diet at this point. I'm worried about the repercussions of that on your body. But it runs through my body quick because I eat them so quickly. Do you realize that like eating meals can be stress-free and also good for you? Well, yeah, eating a meal can be stress-free because it can be done in 30 seconds or less. You need as fast as possible.

It's a lot of stress on your body. The biggest issue is how long it takes to prepare the dogs, but I put them down fast. You see, why don't we reverse that? Why don't we move away from the hot dogs? It's a good meat. Lovely, let me introduce you to Hungry Route, okay? I want to put you on, because the last box that they sent us, they sent me a bunch of awesome shit.

They sent me... Name one thing. Name one thing, name one thing, name one thing. Well, there was grass-fed, grass-fed beef burgers, so not that, not that GMO hot dog stuff that you're into. Filet mignon, I know you thought that that was only restaurants. Whoa. Nope.

I thought that was only restaurants in French people served it. I like the sweet chili, the sweet chili chicken rice place. I love the sweet chili. I prefer the flay mignon because I'm more of a steak guy I enjoy so much that I eat it slowly and like a normal person What are your times?

What are my times what? The filet mignon asparagus meal I'm modest I'm new to the scene But I'm doing about one to two minutes I'm gonna be both your times Well it takes 15 minutes to make And then after that you can eat it as fast As normal as you're not

The clock starts after you make it though Fifteen minutes or less to prepare You can eat it as slowly or as quickly as you'd like. It would be like 16 minutes total to eat everything. And the reason why your hot dog is able to have an expiration at two years away is because there's preservatives and additives. And none of their food has that.

If there are any hooves in it. There's no hooves. I will say this, hungry root has little to no hooves. Little to no hooves. We've eliminated basically all the hooves. Can we get hoves? We can make sure you can have some hoves. You want to solicit them for hooves?

It will be provided by Hungaroo at the company. Well, if you want some hungry root and no. hooves. You can take advantage of this exclusive offer for a limited time. Get 40% off your first box plus a free item in every box for life. And that item could be hooves. Go to hungry. It's a free item? The free item is not going to be hooved. If you get hoves

it's not edible. So go to hungriot dot com slash the yard and use code the yard to get 40% off your first box and get a free item of your choice for life. It's the real eaters challenge y'all. You got to go to hunger.com slash the yard. Get 40% off and then post yourself eating hunger root as fast as possible. No, no.

Just have real eater. Are more more than me? Eat, eat, eat. You have to leave the Patreon. We're going back to the episode. I will be you all. We're talking about you. Me?

Yeah, yeah. Some longer. You always like to say you make more than a doctor, but I think you throw a lot of your money away. And I think if you were to make like 10x, you would just be throwing it away at a higher rate. I almost think you fear having too much. No, I don't think I fear it. I think, okay, I've thought about this. You fear the man you'd become.

Okay. I don't think that's the case, and I've thought a lot about this. You're free to disagree. But I think that I have everything I've ever needed, and I have for a long time, the overhead of my ideal life is extremely affordable and manageable, right? So when I have this, like, crazy excess amount of money, I just kind of give it away. That's what I mean then. So it's not about being afraid of having it.

It's more of like an efficiency of, I don't need this 100 grand. I'm going to give this to somebody. then I think you don't like increasing the quality of your lifestyle. Audio listeners or video watchers, you might be thinking, wow. That was hyperbolic. What an exorbitant amount of money to be giving away all the time. These people are increasingly disconnected from reality. He did this one time, and we do not have the capacity to do that with frequency,

except for maybe. That was all of his money. That was all of his money. That was all of his money at the time. And, you know, I would, I would question whether or not it was a... Yeah, you're like, I don't know what I'll do with all this extra money. That wasn't extra money. Yeah, that was your network.

It was all of the money you had. How long ago was that? A year ago? Yeah, yeah. Zipper, can you look a build a bear stock? Oh, if he would have bought Build a Bear. If you would have bought Build a Bear stock, do you know how rich you would be, dude? Or like a Rolex, maybe.

Did it? It did, no, it like tripled, no? Build a bear stock a year ago was at 33 bucks? Doubled, bro. Oh, wow. Do they start selling Labibou's two? What happened? It doubled.

I don't know. Build a bear's back. They do not sell looboos. Well, they got a bump because everyone is saying. Build a boo-boo. Oh, my God. Build a boobo? This is a trillion-dollar industry.

No, because you know what? They already ruined it. What do you mean? There was a lady on TikTok who's building her own booboos did not work out. No, but if you could go yourself. That's not in the mall. I know. I'm just saying she was building her own booboes and the second loboobo she built did not go over well.

Oh, oh, that lady. Yeah. That lady. Yeah. That lady. She definitely didn't approach. it with the best strategy. The tact that you would have built a boo.

No, no, I built a booboo. We would have all sorts of... You'd be classy. There would be ways to avoid that happening. I didn't even, like, I didn't even check in on the apology video for that one. Like, do you think she said anything? Yeah, yeah, she did. She apologized.

She's not, she's like, where I'm from, we don't have racism like that. I didn't even recognize that this was blackface, and I'm sorry. It's actually a pretty good apology. Oh, a clean one. But she still made blackface a boobo. She's done forever in this world. That's how it is. Sorry.

Yeah, you just can't. Sorry, man. It's not really second chance. Getting the call at the Continental, it's like your excommunicado. Take your ass to kick, bro. They come and just shoot her and like, that shit's just crazy because it's like, you just need one friend. You need one friend to be like, hey, maybe don't do this one. It's like when we did that automotive shoot and Aiden had way too much oil on his face.

Yeah, and he was really close. And we got the pictures back and I was like, we're a. We're not posting the Aden ones Because you can't unring that bell Ben Stiller Zoolander tasteful I might have saved Ludwig's whole career during that shoot Well, I also set up him Set him up for failure

Because I set the shoot up But there was a specific There was like a behind the scenes video Of that shoot that went out where Ludwig looked It was a real The shots from far away It looks like full black face Like it like not doesn't look close

Yeah It doesn't look like there's any white on his face In the picture And I'd ask the guy to remove the video from the internet before anyone could see it 10,000 we drop it y'all seriously too

I said this shot is deceptive to what the real day looked like I was like I don't want this to yeah because the real day wasn't that crazy the makeup lady just had I think she just had an agenda and we were getting our makeup done so we didn't really we failed to see it

yeah we're all looking around at each other like wow that looks kind of crazy I don't know I don't look like that and then we always do If you guys had to, I was thinking about this on the way here If you had to get all of your income in life Through one thing that you do every day So example, like I drink an ice latte most days

Which is kind of fucked up when I think about it But if I don't make any of my income unless I do this But I still have my job Like I still have to do your job It doesn't make you any money But this is like the final button to get the paycheck You have to do this and you don't get paid For that whole day's value

What would you attach it to? And it can't be anything that is vital for survival Like it can't be breathing It can't be pooping. You can do jacking off if you want. It's not vital for survival. It's a pleasure. Well, you couldn't attach it to pooping.

So. Oh, no, because I would get paid net 90. Is jacking off not just like the real, the easiest answer here? No, unless you're a real guna. You crank one every morning and you fucking live your life. You crank one every morning. You could. Jesus Christ.

Don't say you could now. I'm just saying like, I'm not cranking one every morning. It's like maybe I could. but even if I could it's like once I hit 50 you know do I have the gas still? You could just attach it to an hour of gaming

Okay can I ask a question Yeah does it roll over He's oh dude he's always trying to Fucking bulk of so if I don't If 24 hour span you don't do it You lose that entire day That's gone I just don't get money for that day Yeah mm-hmm

Yeah dude I probably attach it to call my girlfriend Beautiful Yeah this this question doesn't make It doesn't work in a lot of ways because it's something easy, right? It does what you can. I can call his girlfriend beautiful every day if I want. But the question is not about it being.

Who's girlfriend? His beautiful girlfriend? You call her that? That's what you're doing. It doesn't matter what I say. The question is not about whether or not it's challenging. It's just an exploration of something you would be willing to do every single day for the rest of your life. Yeah.

I think. But, okay, I'm not, God forbid Ludwig. Please. If you guys broke up, the genie version of this is like, that's not the girl. If you had a new girlfriend in the monkeys, the different person, you no longer can make money the rest of your life. You have to think about this forever? Um, but I would never attach it to like a specific video game. You know, if we broke up, she'd still be beautiful.

I wouldn't mind doing it. Every day you'd say it, you'd say it to a picture of her on the wall. Telling your new partner is like, no, no, I'm not... Babe, I'm working. I'm not... I have to do this for our family. Yeah, this guy that looked like a balacho clown once cursed me and I had to start doing it. Who are you talking about?

It's just hard to explain. It's hard to joke. What you're talking about? Nah, that'd be mine. I don't believe that. Mine would be, I would make it something that I had to do. So it would be like, you know, five minutes of boxing practice on the bag, punching shakes, vinyl face only. Five, that's a lot of work.

I know. It's like, can we, you know what? Can we say exercise is not part vital for? I guess it's not. No, no, no, no. It's specific, angry exercise. Dude, if you could punch shaking in the face and know your. making money doing it that's a pretty good job dude that's an idea that's what kids 50% of kids

should want it in the other side of the not youtube question something that kind of snuck under the door of the episode last week which again is a banger at past the first 20 minutes was the intro video could you oh my god did you see the intro video no dude it's unbelievable i think it's the single funniest video i've ever taken of another person for one the video opens everyone's hanging out and talking at the party and then it pans over and shake drizzles, you know, alone to the corner. But, uh, two, he wipes his shirt a little bit, too. He wipes the dust.

What? You guys are fucking weird. You guys are so weird. Dude, I've been thinking about this, this past week. This shirt says, zombies. Because I think I, I, I, you were gone. You were gone. Yeah.

And we live, we live in the world of the yard, right? Yeah. And I'm starting to think, I'm starting to think that these two might not be normal. They're not normal. What are you talking about? I think I genuinely, I genuinely, If you walk down the street and you saw a shake at like inside through a window at like a Chick-fil-A, you would film him ordering, send it to Nick and crack up about how he like, touched his lip. That's a really funny order.

And then you like wouldn't interact to them. You'd like walk away laughing at your phone of this video of shake. Be like, he looked so insane. He looks so insane. It would be cruel to get him involved. Nobody knows how insane he looks at this restaurant. He's literally ordering at this restaurant. Look at him.

He's actually stumbling. He took a picture at him at the Mexican place ordering a burger. And posted it on your Instagram, your checkmarked Instagram. It was crazy to do that. Check me. Pass it out. The difference is I just took what is inherently a funny picture because of 0.5 his forehead. You're the one.

You're the one who then just took this picture and went, you uploaded the craziest picture that has ever been taken ever of a human of shake. It looks like a balloon animal. He genuinely looks... Dude, you created something that enables this behavior. Nothing we do could ever make this. You did this, bro. But what I'm saying is like...

You don't get to blame me for putting attention on it. It's like you walked out to the 7-Eleven in Blackface. And then I was like, look what this guy's doing. It's not that extreme. And then you're like, why did you bring attention to that? It's not like that exactly. No, it's... All right, fine, you put shaking blackface.

You are like a yellow journalist. Like you are, you are, you are making crazy out of what's not that crazy. That picture is crazy. I feel like it's more. Ever listening has a crazy point five of their friend on their phone. Yeah, but it's done. It's done in like, oh, let me get this picture. Oh, funny.

Well, look at that. Oh, okay. That's it for us. You post it on your fucking Instagram. You have a platform. You guys are casting like I posted it on the front page of the New York Times. So this is what, well. I just posted on you an Instagram.

How many future I followed you have? Look. Is there a millie? Okay. A millie, a million, a video. That's kind of like, guys, a low number. You're right. I'm fucking stupid, I guess.

It might as well have been the cover of Men's Weekly that week. It all, hey, all women, check this out. Because men's week, again, because you're saying Men's Weekly because it's like an established place and then people would look at it expecting a certain thing. My Instagram stories out this sacred fucking land where we can't have a little goof in a calf. It's not a flattering picture of him. It's not a, unflattering picture of yourself.

I have 3 million followers on Twitch and I showed your balls on it. Yeah, because those are grape size and wonderful. It's just, look,

if I was a young, handsome man like shake. By the way, grapes is pushing it. He's getting hurtful. You'd be lucky both from that to one grape. I'll ignore that for now.

A couple raisins over there. I thought of a different joke. Like, if I was a young, handsome man like shake, active in the dating world, single, available,

and my famous friend put out the worst marketing campaign for my dating success. He's the marketing campaign is what I'm saying because my post dies after 24 hours

and you know who's not keeping it a lot? It was solidified in a website. It's immortal. Do you think the website came before or after slime? I think it became because of the picture.

I mean the picture exists because the Ludwig took it. Did slime exacerbate the issue? Of course. Did he exacerbate it? No, no, no, no, no. Then what would have happened is it would have been up for 24 hours

people would have replied being like, this is crazy? And then it would have died. By the way, you're Oppenheimer. You didn't bomb, bro. Yes, I actually love that analogy. I just made the hydrogen version.

I'm Oppenheimer. You am deaf. I am a destroyer of Shakespeare's fucking day life. But I, but then I met with the president, and the president said to me like, yeah, go fuck off. And then you fucking blew up a bunch of places. Yeah. That's crazy. You're the present.

You created the bomb. I created the hydrogen bomb. Without you, my hydrogen bomb doesn't exist. What I did is I use my brain to his max potential to create art. What you did is you took that art and you blew it up. I look, you know what? For once, guys, vote on your phones. And I've only ever said it once.

I'm Opie and all I do is bang bad bitches and leave them. Oppie. Oppie, hit it from the back. Why don't you? Upy, side shots while spooning, please. Oh my God. Did you see? What?

I want him from Opie and I want him now. Please shut up. Please shut up. Did you see... Oppie, give me mouth shots. Ew, dude. Stop. What?

What? What is wrong? You never fucking... What is wrong in? Sorry. I thought I wanted to jump in. It's not a ton of fun. What we talking about loving?

Zipper, can you pull up what I said? Do you guys see Doug Doug Shream? Oh my God. No. Dude. Doug, Doug was live yesterday. And he pulled up... Is that what it looks like?

Way, I missed it. In Zoolander. That's crazy. That's crazy. Yeah, that's when he's in the coal mine. We pulled up Ben Siller and Zoolander, just ripping blackface. Not as bad as Robert Downey Jr. Can you pull up what I said?

So yesterday, Doug, Doug went live and he was scrolling through Steam games. And he accidentally opened up a game where Hitler, it's called like Hitler sex. not a great link forward slash dug dug underscore hit accidentally underscore shows hit hitler porn on street he pulled up a game that was basically hitler having sex with people yes and then in the video he was like this is a funny game but in the video of for the trailer hiller actually has sex with people yeah it's a butt ass naked hitler pipe was somebody from the back video game was about i think he thought that steam wouldn't have this on there and i just wanted to pull up because his redid was talking about it and i just want to read the first few lines all joking he means aside

there's actually a terrible situation. Tons of people, including minors, got flashed, not just by porn, but by Hitler porn. Hitler and italics. This sounds like something I would make up that Aiden did. You want to show Hitler porn to kids

on a lemonade stand. And by God, that bastard Doug Doug finally fucking did it. Oh my God. Dude, Doug's always the performer, too. He says it in such a beautiful cadence in the clip. He's like, oh! It knows a porn game.

Like it is, oh man, but this Reddit is a really funny scroll through because they're all talking about it so gravely. They're like, this is such a bad situation. I can't believe this happened. The situation is like accidentally pulled up Hitler porn. It's just Hitler porn. Yeah. It reads like a bad two sentence horror. Pretty much everyone loses here. Oh, that's tough. So I'm sorry for the downfall of LS. Yeah, this is the This is where it starts Hey guys, come over, fuck with us HP took it down Come over, fuck with a real fucking podcast, y'all

And tell you what, the one thing about the yard TY, we fuck with HP TY fucks with HP In fact, TY is the one who made that HP Yeah, go see who vibe-coded that And LS fucks with CP Sorry, maybe I can't say that Yeah, we're gonna have Caleb Pitts on it

Until you have Caleb Pitts on him Would go crazy Yeah Oh my God They wouldn't do it, bro Fly them out They don't do guests Like that way out

Caleb Pitts wants to come on D&D Oh my god That'd be amazing Yeah I like that He was saying maybe in October He flies out

For that D&D Tober What do you guys feel about Because D&T's out Now we're We're hitting The section of episodes

Where I said Where we really Hit our stride Yeah I think it gets really I think we need to Why are we talking about Work on the podcast

I was gonna take it In a really boring direction just now Look at you stopping yourself Make it for it. Just because I did the thing. Say it, don't spray it. We gotta make shorts about that show to help the YouTube.

Doesn't it be boring, boring topic. We should make shorts to maximize our viewership. Lose the shorts, maybe a better tip. And now we lose the shorts. Analytics haven't pushed enough. Analytics, oh no, we make a thousand fucking hundred million dollars a year. And I look like a clown. I like that people like it.

Yeah, me too. Dude, I realized today, because we were like, we were trying to find the channel that Trump was gonna talk on and Aiden was like, oh, Atrox's libel and I'm like, oh, fucking Krusty the clown was Trump is blip here again.

And I realized like, so that's the caricature that eyes had on my head. But what I was saying is that he did that. He did it almost exactly the same way again.

And I said, if we hadn't said Aetriac five seconds before this, I wouldn't have known who you were making fun. Like he said, he was actually a little meaner in reality. Yeah. Than that. Wow.

It was actually a little bit meaner. That's mean, dude. Well, I think, look. I think he sounds like the clown that's names as Krusty. I do think he sounds like Krusty the clown. And I think if you're tuning in a truck to like see what he thinks about President Trump, NGMI. Mind you, I walk in and it's his son on the screen plugging primes.

That was also an NGMI moment. Yeah. We were all NGMI. You really went to the fucking. Well, because he, I wanted to put on Associated Press where in the YouTube chat, they're saying, I want to be the best pirate skull emoji. Which is great. So what are you going to do? I think that damn stream is turning Hassan's beard gray.

I think it stresses him out too much. I think he's stressed. He's got that big gray patch now, man. He's at the president. He's 36? What? 36 damn years old. No, he's not.

He's younger than me. Yeah. He's younger than I think he is 34. He's a year younger than me. I also have the same grays, but no one talks about it, but it's okay. Where? on the sides of my... It's not a big old patch

He's like a couple Yeah he's got the patch Which is an interesting The patch is like Pretty cool looking Yeah I think he just looks good But I got gray pews

I got gray beard hairs Not sure about the head Don't know Your pews are all gray all over No no no Zippers on age It's just peppered around You know

When you have all gray pews I want you to show it to me You wow on the money Yeah That outfit is so hilarious Oh That sucks fit next to the age.

Bro, he looks like he's in Streetlight Manifesto. That's so bad. Why is there another one? Stop where he's checkers is fucking freak. Fox Deuce and they put an awesome anime background.

Oh my God. Wait, wait, does he have the Cholo button? Go down? Is he cholo buttoning the missing texture shirt? Okay, that's kind of a vibe. Hassan Fitz Tier list maker?

We've got to do that. I had an idea of an episode where we have every single one of Ludwig's episode outfits. Oh, yeah. We ranked those. Oh, that's good. Well, we kind of did that with the 200th episode.

Yeah, it was like the worst. The basketball. What was the other tier list idea we had? Candy, all candies. No, no, no. It was a different one. I think we set it on M2AF. I forget, but it was awesome.

All slime impressions. Ooh. I do like that. Do like that. An audio tier list? Yeah, because we don't ever think of them. I think about them. Audio bits.

Sometimes. An audio listener meetup. Audio listener meet up, meet... And they don't know who to go to. I've had people who have met me and thought I was entirely thought I was Aden. Yeah. And I just have to believe their audio listeners. No, those are the people that, like, go to OpenSauce, and they're like, they just know it's a Ludwig show.

No. Dude, every time. The last OpenSauce has destroyed this guy, but I know what you mean. Because the last OpenSauceau, those were like the hardcore fans. They were, you're right. But there's a lot of people... Dude, it was at... It was at Supernova.

Which is funny, because those are like, you know, melee heads, but there were a lot of, like, Lutterwick fans, and they come up to me because I'm obviously slime and bald. I get it. And then they'll be like, bro, and the other guy on the show, he went to the other show. What's this? I'm such a huge fan.

What is, and I'm like, I start to be like, you're not a huge fan. You know, it was like that was the fucking streamer games. We had some fake fans at that damn of it. Dude. It's okay. We had some people who were coming up, and they would say things like,

like, I'm the biggest. Yard fan. I'm like the, I'm your biggest fan. And I would throw them a softball. I'd be like, what's our producer's name? They wouldn't know it. Yeah, I mean. And I'm like, why lie? They keep a 99. Why lie to kick it? You don't got a lie. Because they want something from you and they want to make it. It's okay to be like, I think the yard is maybe interesting. Can I get a picture? It's like, it's just because it's corporate, it's corporate event world, you know, because sometimes you're a Red Bull employee who doesn't even know who Ludwig. Whaling it, dude. But you're at streamer games. Dude. That happened? Oh, you don't know about it.

this? No. You know, like, he said it in front of you. I don't remember this. I wasn't listening or something. Yeah. There's a Red Bull employee who's there and you don't know me. They said, get the contractor out of the photo. I think it was one of the media contractors and they said, oh, he was the contract. Yes, that's why it was funny. Oh my God, bro. It's somebody working the event for Red Bull and they want to take a picture of the field and everything getting set up, right? And they said, like, can we get that guy out of the way? Can we get that contractor like off the shot. It was fucking

handsome guy probably a small dude. Can we get out of it? Get that guy out of the shot. Ludwig streamer games. I don't even remember. I call it streamer games. I've never said anything in front of it.

Some people say Ludwig streamer games. Did we already talk about you taking the laces out of your shoes? Yeah, what's up with that? What the fuck is that about? Those shoes were not meant to be laceless. No, they are supposed to be laceful.

We talked about this. I took them out to tie down my tent in Japan. Oh, right. I said, you're right. I said that's cool. and then he got them for me and then he's like, I got you the laces and then I don't know where the fuck they are.

They have a little swastik's on them. Like, not again, yingling. I thought it was like a design. At the streamer games, I remember, so Kelby is like, yeah, I want to talk to you and Nut really quick before we go live and I'm like, that makes sense.

And Kelby's just giving us the run down and like, here's our sponsors, here's what they expect, here's our dealers. What they expect? And he's like doing the whole thing and Nut is making it so hard for Kelby.

Because he keeps every time, he's like, so probably shouldn't say about something like this. And then Nut was like, what if I talk about having an assault rifle? And I already know all these rules. I've done this bit a million times. So I'm like, I'm just over it. But Nut hasn't got to do this yet to talk to a suit in his mind. So Calby's just like, probably wouldn't be good. Like he still wants to be cool.

And he still wants to be like a fun guy. He's like, gets a joke. But he's also like really doesn't want that to happen. yeah so and then that's like yeah no for sure for sure so are we allowed to talk about Jeffrey Epstein he's like yeah we just probably shouldn't mention Epstein but that is funny that is funny

you guys are pushing it with Simon says play with it a little bit or whatever you said he said I didn't say that I said on Twitter no there was a Simon says joke on the stream I said Simon says deeper yeah case someone says hit it from the back that's fine back. Oh, Simon didn't say. Yeah. No, that's fine, bro. I mean, you, you look. That's all above board. Ludwig says everything's okay until it's not. And I think that's a fine policy to live by.

Yeah, they'll let you know afterwards. But we're running a damn show here. Dude, you almost died there. Oh my God. You almost died at striker games? Yeah, I thought about it all day. It was crazy. What? So they had giant Greek pillars scattered throughout the field. Yeah. But they also had some on the stage with the casters. And it was a really windy rehearsal day. And we're sitting there. It's mean, nut and slime. Because at that point, I was thinking maybe I would do some casting on the desk.

And then we're waiting for stuff to get situated. And then the fucking biggest pillar that's on the stage falls. It just goes, boom. And it was maybe a foot behind slime. I thought I hit your leg. It did. It hit my leg. There was a bruise.

Did it on the way down? Or did it fall? and then, like, roll. It hit on the way down. Whoa. How's that, how's the anatomy of that? How did it, like, not hit your head? It came behind me, and my legs were turned.

Oh, it's on the side of you. Yeah. He was, like, turned facing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And if that was, like, a foot to the right, that would have hit me in the head. I probably would have got a concussion. I think you tank it.

I think I would have got a concussion for sure. You easy tank it, bro. But also, it's like my neck might have got crazy. Nah, you tank that shit, bro. What if it fixed something? Like, what if, like, you no longer want to reply to everyone. Oh, my God. in you're like that guy who got stabbed

through his eyeball on the railroad yeah and he became different then what then the show's more boring I guess whatever we lose our X factor I guess we lose our fucking X factor which that's what I am my guess our X factor is your evilness yeah we lose we lose

Oppie give me mouth shots so it's like I like that part of the episode and if I'm being real I would hate to lose that in a way when slime has his altered form he's like opi give me mouth shots sometimes like I don't It's like, hey man, I appreciate you trying to, like, bring it to the show, but don't do that, man. It's not cool.

I just, I end up, like, like, wanting to talk about business and fucking politics. And we're just sitting around you going, like, give me the big boy opi. We can do a great exchange. We can do a great exchange. We can get dug, and you can go to lemonade stand. We get lemonade stand slime? Dude, and I'm like, I wear glasses now and, like, pocket protectors. Really good point to each rock.

Oh, you wear a NorCal. great area. Dude. I was watching your stream and I love it, by the way. Did Donald Trump say anything yet by the way? I'm curious before we... When I went out there, he was talking... He wasn't dying.

He was talking normal. He's doing a presentation about fucking like the space defense force. We saw, I don't even know what we were looking at, but I don't know if it's part of some sort of bill or whatever, but space commands officially moving to Alabama is what the presentations about. Who care? That's I know who care. I don't know why everyone kills him Twitter thinks he's dead and they thought he's gonna walk up there and go I am dead and then

die on camera. But this was announced that it was gonna be this. Well what we were reading in the other room was that there there are potentially large tax cuts coming to many different styles of content creator including podcasters. I've been saying we need tax cuts. Yes. Apparently this just cut applies to your tips like you won't be taxed on your tips. And I was, I was thinking, guys, we should, we got to do a restructure. Dude. So how should we restructure the show in order to make all the money tips? You do no Patreon. Instead, Patreon's free, but you can tip. What if the yard turns into a restaurant? Whoa. We do the podcast from a restaurant, and your Patreon is tip. You tip and you get to listen.

But if you don't tip, you just get to go eat like a lasagna or whatever we have. We would not serve lasagna. No Italian foods at our restaurant. Yeah, I'm talking about no Italian. No, I want to be... No, Italian foods. No. No. No. Some Greek food? No. Greek food? Probably Greek food. A muffalada. Mostly Greek food. Mostly Greek food. You can't say that.

Nah, I gave him the past. That's because... Mostly muffalada. Yeah, we would be a... We would be an Italian, Greek, French, white, American... You know, beautiful combination. Well, he's like what? Swedish. Fusion restaurant. You're like British, right? So we'd have some boiled gray. What's Swedish? What's Swedish? What's... What's Swedish food?

Fucking Ikea meatballs? Skoggin. A scoggin. A very fishy lasagna with a tiziki. And what's the... A cigarette in the middle. A cigarette and like a candle. You must smoke before you eat.

Dude, should I say something? Should you? There's a new restaurant in town that I went to. Okay. And their menu is fucked up horrible. Bad for you or bad? tasting. I think badly written. Okay. So the

menu... Do you say what it is? It describes certain things... The menu describes certain things? Without just saying what it is. So it'll be like, there's the house salad, and it's like, it has radidichio.

And I have to look that up, and it's just radish. Yeah. But they're putting shit in, like, Italian. Okay. And then one of them is Coma de Gato and I'm like, what's that? And I look it up and it was like Italian for like a goat

and I was and I and that's all that comes up when you Google it and then I did you order it? I inferred that it was goat cheese and it turns out after asking and clarifying it was

but I looked this all up before going to the restaurant and the restaurant's fucking dead it just opened and I'm talking to the guy I'm like this is goat cheese right but I think because I had googled it beforehand he thought I just inferred it like on the spot so he was really excited and his response he's like yeah yeah like that's that's go cheese

you got it you got it and then I wanted they had like a breakfast sandwich and I read on again the website it was like a pina which I found out what a pina was by Googling it which is some Italian flatbread like bread is it like a pizza but kind of different it's kind of like a pizza with olive oil and no sauce on it. Just the dough with some olive. That's like a joke we would make. Can I get a pizza? Is it like a pinini?

Like a panini? With missing one of the sides of bread? It's imagine literally just pizza dough bread cooked and they use that as the bread for a sandwich. So that's what a pina is. And so he's like, yeah, that's it. So I'm like, can I get the breakfast sandwich? And then he starts to explain how the bread is weird

and I go like a pina. And he goes, yes. Yes, like a pincea. nobody gets this and I don't know how to fucking break it to him that it's like bro I only got it because I googled for 10 minutes before I fucking walked in your menu is shit and your business is gonna go under well was the food fly the food was fire

and the restaurant was empty there were genuinely two people in there they just open huh put them on I ain't put him on I ain't put him on because he didn't have a good experience I ain't put him on until he fixes the shit he hates having to work for anything and he had to work for a piece He's got to fix his shit, but I don't know if I should tell. I don't know if that's too much.

I think it would be, okay, here's, there is an episode of Seinfeld where this all happened. It was a Pakistani restaurant and Jerry goes in, he's like, you got to change your menu, Babu. This fucking food sucks and you change your menu. And Babu does it and then his business goes under, and Jerry's to blame. But I think you could be the good version of this with like an appropriately aged girlfriend. First, you are right that if it's already on a trajectory to go under. If I say change something, and it still goes under, I'll be blamed. Lovely when he sees a Japanese menu, he can't read.

Italian? What is this? Oh, see, the Japanese are very, they don't say food, they say essence of life. Yeah, I think that's beautiful. Actually, a tattoo that says that. It said, like a goat for goat cheese. What is that? Lager a goat.

That's beautiful. I guess you're right if that wasn't like hiragana, I would go crazy. Exactly. You'd be like, this is actually just a tradition. But I would only go crazy if it was in Japan. No, you go crazy for anything Japanese in any country. Yeah, yeah, I would. Yeah, I would.

Is there a Red Bull Japan? Yeah. You got a link with them. I can't. What? What? They speak Japanese. Is that a problem?

The Red Bull. What's wrong with that? What do you mean? They speak Japanese? speak enough for them. Oh, you don't? I can't link up with Yuki Sonoda. Wait, you're talking about Red Bull? The guy from Lincoln Park? Yeah. Most of them speak English. Huh? I've been there. Most of them speak English. You've been there? Yeah. What business do you got going there? Oh, don't ask. Oh, don't ask me. We fly, uh, us and Omead get up to some crazy shit.

Yeah. With the Red Bull Japan office. I've been in the Red Bull Japan office. They all speak English, bro. Do you want you? You need to link with Omead. I know Omead live in Japan for fucking years and works at Red Bull fucking year. but I didn't know he went and I know when he speaks Japanese. I didn't think people like him go through. What does he know about Nippone culture? Can you do some badass shit

that should have reminded me like the Michelle Carrey's video where she held on like to a plane like Mission Impossible? Yeah dude I did that shit a five foot high jump. What, bro? I did a five foot high jump.

It's not bad ass. Oh, really four foot six. It's not bad ass. It's not bad ass when a guy goes right after you and does a seven foot high jump. First off, he did six, six, six. That's high.

He did six flat, actually. He failed to six six. That's still pretty high. He's higher than six flat. Okay, you can't be shitting on him. I'm not shitting on him, but like... You can't be well, actually. I'm currently...

I'm closer to him than I am to you. I'm currently in a chess match with that guy right now. How was it going? I'm up two ponds. There we go. Done deal. Yeah. Very aggressive player.

Very aggressive player. That's so cute. You guys play chess for this day. What would some badass shit be? I'm not doing it like Michelle Carrey. She's crazy, bro. She's nuts. She's nuts.

I think she wants, she has the death drive. Yeah. Dude, she should say with some parameders. Maybe she has that thing in her brain like Alex Honnold. You know how like Alex Honnold's brain? She says exactly the opposite.

Because in the video, she's like, people think I'm very fearless, but I'm specific, I'm exactly extremely scared of all this stuff. And that's why I want to do it. I think she actually just has like performance. like if it's on camera

she can just fucking do it me and her the same thing I think she wants to be like the like a Steve Irwin kind of type and this is like the only way it's like be a be a badass she'd have to get to suspenders well I don't know she she could be like a wild boys type of thing I guess she doesn't like animals as much Maya should pivot into a wild boy's arc

oh my my should ride a like ride one of the fucking hogs around Alvaez ride them my damn hogs she could like shoot in the air my should put her hand in the air in like the bullet ant hive like Chris Pontius did Mya needs like a I guess gonna say Don Vito

but I guess not literally that kind of guy Don Vito no Just like a guy that she bullies But related She's a Phil Yeah Phil And then an ape

Yeah I feel guy of ape Yeah I've been I went to a museum With Maya and cutie And I was just pitching All my animal thoughts to her And this is

He gets this a lot Yeah she gets it a lot And she's real judgmental about them. How so? Yeah, because she's getting them constantly. Because I was like, fuck, man. Mammals are awesome. I came to that conclusion.

Okay. Yeah. I was like, mammals are so cool. So what are your top three mammal facts? Capi Bars are cool. They're the biggest rodent. That's, that's cabby bar. Let's Mammal facts.

Mammal facts, they're fucking awesome. They ain't been around that long and we should fucking have more of them. That's what I got for you. You can smoke on that bitch. I think that Maya probably interprets your cool animal ideas is like when I'm like, hey, you should do a fishing stream. Yes, because she literally said she rolled her eyes and she went, of course you think that.

That's such a Maya thing to say. Lovely, would you rather bring back every single extinct animal? But there's no other option. What other option? Give the other option. Why do you want that? Whatever the other option is, I'll say it. You don't want to engage with the hypothetical.

What was the second one? Well, it gets pretty cool. It's cool, so I'm mad because I feel it. The second one was, or get an equal amount of new animals. Yep. Give me the new ones. Fuck the old ones. Why?

They died for a reason. What? God didn't love them. You don't want to see a fucking velociraptor? God didn't love a velociraptor. That's why he sent the meteor. That's a fact. That's a fact.

Dude, God was governing dinosaurs. Isn't that crazy? Do you think he liked it better? I don't know. Because he had dinosaurs. That's awesome deleting your old YouTube video. I guess. Yeah.

This was like a phase. I was 16. I was saying about it. I don't know. He rog to the dinosaurs for so long. I know. Do you know how long the dinosaurs were around? Forever.

There was so long that some dinosaurs didn't hang out with other dinosaurs. He had different genres of dinosaurs, dude. He had three eras of dinosaurs. Yeah. Three. Dude. This is blowing my fucking shit off right now. Did you know that shit?

Yeah. 165 million. In the second years, we had dinosaurs, and they never invented the iPhone. We got the Jurassic. Oh my God, the Earth was the Cretaceous. Jurassic and the Cretaceous. Hey, what's the third one, bitch? I forget.

Yeah, you don't know shit, bro. I do know, Jurassic of the Cretaceous. Bro. How about you triacic? How about you try acid, bro? Fucking, yeah, with you. You guys want to do with me? No, I don't know.

I don't see that. I don't do drugs. I would do anything to see it. Dude, I would do anything to see you. I think. Would I rather see a dinosaur in real life or go to the moon? Ooh. Dude, the moon's gay.

What? Real. Don't say real to your own thought. Well, then you should live there and be the president, I think. You know what, you're right. Me and your dad will be there. Okay. We're on my dad's gay thing right now.

My dad's not bent. Your dad's fucking gay. Alex is convinced that Nick's dad is gay. I've seen the car drives. He is gay. Yeah, dude, right? That 80s Mercedes? Oh my God, he drives it. Your dad is like, in very like

Donald Trump sort of way, he probably like loves Broadway. Oh, hell. Yeah. No? No. Yeah, he loves, like, show tunes. No.

My dad's from like the hood in Brooklyn. Yeah, my dad's the strangest guy fucking out there. My dad fucking lost pussy. My dad's a gay man from Brooklyn. Oh, man. You go to the moon?

dead as go to the moon overseas? I don't know. What dinosaur would be? He's torn up, but he thinks moon is, so you'd pick dinosaurs. Of course I pick dinosaur. Dude, the moon, it has nothing to offer. Is it one dinosaur? Yeah, sure.

Because if so, then I go to the moon. What? If it's one dinosaur. But you get to pick. You should look at all of them, pick which one you get to the scene in your life. I know, but it's one dinosaur. It'd be a bronosaurus. I'd know, but whatever dinosaur I'd pick, the moment I'd see it, I'd be like,

fuck, I wish I picked a different one. What if it was a dinosaur from like the fucking, like, pre-pangia fucking erb during like area where Japan would be. And like, and what? It has a fucking baseball bat and it's, it's, it calls itself showhays on. What's dinosaur in Spanish? You got a tiger after? Japanese.

It's actually just dinosaur. Oh my God. Did it spill? You spilled everything. Japan is a hotspot for dinosaur discoveries with species like the duck build Kamu Kamo ysori I'll see the picture of that. You can't.

You can't. Fukuiraptur. Uh, no, I think also if a dinosaur's fossil is found in a land, it didn't necessarily roam that area. I totally understand people who don't believe dinosaurs roam the earth. I get it, man. What? What about the bones?

That shit is crazy. They're like... How do you explain the bones? They have an explanation, bro. You guys should dead ass go to the natural history museum of your local city because they're so awesome. God, I hate how you're so awesome. museum piled you went fucking once and you made our day worse for it. Do you know what the anti

the anti-dinosaur explanation is? Do you know what they know? No. Well it depends. Most people who don't believe dinosaurs are religious but they believe that they were put there by God as a test of faith. Oh my God that's crazy bro. You gotta see them and just be like that's so insane. I think it's awesome. Not insane.

That was a good chump check by God and you fell for it loser. Is it? Are they all chump checks though? Yeah the moon is a chump check currently. Why is God trying to trick me? Because the god was, he wants he wants you to prove your faith to him. He's trying to test you, not trick you, bro, the difference. I don't think it, because, okay, then I've

been successfully tricked by God. Okay, yeah. No, you failed his test. You failed his test. What, I was tricked. I was tricked by an omnipotent being. Our God is an awesome god. Dude, I ate a hot dog in 16 seconds, fucking pussy. Oh my god, it's right. You're an eater. You guys are fucking

purses. You've proven nothing. You've just learned how to L canceled. Guy, guy guy who worked at improving at an activity improves time in the hypothetical we said you can't grind it defeats the purpose of question

that's the whole thing is like the basis of that you can't grind it I grind it bro I took me three dogs no one's a grind hold hold on this is the issue you're like I grinded and I got it in 16 seconds

and all of us were like yeah if you grind it you'll improve I'm just saying none of this is novel and two more dogs you can't do 16 sure maybe you're better at grinding and two more dogs

you can't do 16 maybe you're a bigger eater What do you, what do you? Yeah, like, but the thing is, I think you looked up something. Oh my God. Okay, so you did. That's it. I know.

I actually, well, it's all on video, first off. It would be not the part before you were cooked or. The thing is, you would have just said instantly no. All of the time. Well, hold up, because I did look something up, but I didn't look up how to eat it. I looked up. I was, I did a five-hour live stream on a zero fewer channel. And what I did is I watched Joey Chestnuts YouTube short on how to eat a hot talk fast.

You watch Voss. So you watch. Yeah, you literally ask for an expert's opinion. Let me finish. It's a meme video where he goes, you go like this. And then the video ends. And I went, that was fucking useless. Your intention was there.

But then I just mimicked what I've seen in videos, which is just the fucking dunk in the water. Oh, use the water. I do the water show. It's so gross. It was not that gross and really easy. I don't think here, here's my crazy hot take on the Joey Chestnuts Challenge, 100 meter challenge.

I beat Joey right now, by the way. Brought to you by Red Bull. I think that we should be, there should be a no water rule. That's so stupid. I don't think it's stupid. I think, because we should play with items on. Because that's the way the game was meant to be played.

Because any stage items on. That's what the game really is. I realize what you're saying. Maybe free for all too. The problem is that we don't eat hot dogs like that. And that's the magic. And that's not what Sakai meant. No, because I could be like, you want the pace car in the marathon.

You want the pace car in the marathon What are you talking about? And it's like no What do you talk? We don't eat dogs By dipping them in water We eat them like normal people And the fun is enjoying that

And being the best at doing that part I think the water's fine I think it's just I think really it's just It's his first time doing it It doesn't get any You can't do two times You can't practice beforehand

That's the more important part I'm saying Fuck you saying I beat Joey Right now Oh yeah But you had vaude. We can literally make this happen.

Oh, yeah. I mean, he's not inaccessible. We can definitely do it. I cook Joey, I think. To the people who run the Joey Chess Not Bot, if you could reach out to us, we want to race him.

To Joey's team. Hold on. Sorry. Joey's team! You will respond to the call. You will come in an awesome hot dog with us. That lens is dirty. Is it?

Yeah. You know, it probably has tomato juice all over it from the Rockathon. Yeah. probably what it is. Um, yeah, so anyway, we'll race. You obviously, I cook them, bro. You could, I'm interested. I saw how fast he runs his hundred.

All I have to do is eat a hot dog in less than 12 seconds. In the video, he doesn't have to even try in the hundred because his lead is so big. Maybe this is the first yard video is we all have to individually try to beat Joey Chessna. Y'all are good enough to be in this, no offense. I'm sorry, I thought you said it was easy with water. You said it was easy? Oh, but only for you? Yeah.

For me. Okay. But like, what's the point on having three other guys fucking taking two minutes? Dude, that's crazy. Come on. He is so much.

He was, oh, I ate one. No, no training, no ideas. Imagine him with water. You have a real eater to your left with footage, and you come in here talking like you're the shit. Because he runs 100 meters slower than Joey Chestnut.

Oh, God. I don't think it's true. No. I think, God. If we took Joey Chestnut's vaude of the running, slime run. We saw Slimes vaude of the run.

running. Yeah, better than Joey's. Well, guys, we're going to put our nut on your chest in the Patreon. Yuck. Okay. You can go there and listen to more of the yard. We're actually going to record this one right now. Yeah, so we'll be very burnt out, so it'll be a very slog,

terrible episode. What the for you doing? What are you talking about? Don't do this. Oh, sorry. It'll be really good, and my nuts are the size of grapes, and we'll see you there.