The Yard - Ep. 220 - We Traveled Across the World (w/ Michael Reeves)

Episode Date: October 8, 2025

This week, the boys are joined by Michael Reeves! They talk about going participating in Squeezie's GP Explorer 3, Slime & Nick being points on the scavenger hunt, and how we have reached the end of the Art of the Yard saga... Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You look gay today. You look gay today. Why? Because you're wearing such boring clothes. I'm wearing our yard pants. We sold these. Putting our merch on blast at the beginning of the read. I thought you weren't wearing the merch.

Dude, I'm wearing our merch right now. I know, but I thought it was going to be like you look. I'm wearing our merch literally. Okay. I care. I made sure, along with our lovely merch staff, we went through all of our warehouses and got every piece of old inventory from every job that we have and all of it is on sale on the yard.sale right now or yard dot sale. If you want any

piece of our old merch, some items are in stocked like less than five units, some are a couple hundred. You can dig through the whole store. It's available until it sells out. Go to yard dot sale. Everything's on sale. You won't. Go check it. I bet you won't. The pants aren't gay. The pants aren't gay. I bet you won't. I bet you won't get these gay pants. I'm trying to talk about some shit right now. You're talking about some shit? I'm trying to talk about some shit right now. You're chomping at the bit. Air it out, blood. Stop it. What are you doing over there? Young man, stop it. Michael is vindictively rubbing the mic against his very puffy jacket because you made him sit in a birchette chair.

Rub it on your puffers, Michael? Michael rubs his puffers for you? Asmr 1080p. Michael, how big your nipples? It's big enough. Fuck. Well, no, but like compare it to the average, do you think? Okay. Oh. Okay. Oh my God. You are larger than I thought. They're a little bigger than I would thought. You beat me. They are like a... You got mosquito bites. No, you got a normal ass nipples. You're Michael the same size nipples.

But yours is just on a much larger bod. Oh, fishy. Have you guys ever touched him together? Yeah. Helpful. I asked Ludwig. He didn't reply. But I was like, we had to plan out all this stuff because he's like in this weird, like, sex cult fucking mansion. It's so weird. You can talk about it soon.

But I was like, so are we having come slave Michael on? and he didn't reply He said that, is that what he said? He did phrase it like that And my question is Who is the calm slave Between you two I don't know

I guess we switch position I suppose Well I don't know We've been doing that We are here in beautiful Le Mans I have come here to fuck my sister Your French got way worse We've been doing

Only Jamaican around the French people They love it And they love it Wow Oh, they do. But it's come to a head because I said bumbleclat. And then he said, someone called me out. They said, you can't say that.

Who said that? And I couldn't, it was co-coats. She was like, isn't that a bad word? She's the most racist of them all. I'm saying she's Canadian. So I didn't, but I didn't know. I had no defense. Yeah, you can't, you can't authoratively be like, yes, I can.

Yeah. I don't even, I feel like we've all individually googled what bumbleclot means and all have forgotten it. Bumbac. It's in one out. I think it means like skibbitty toilet in Jamaica. Yeah, I mean... That's got to be racist.

Like, just full stop. Racist. No, racist. I am racist. I am a French man. I am racist. I'm a French, of course. I am a big racist.

I love to eat the food. Serve it in the pan. Very good. Nice. Poops de pan. They say, I'm so... It's such a bad accent. I love to eat poop because I am French.

It's a genuinely horrible accent. How is it horrible? Okay, do what I did then. I guess I have to talk about it, but I was messed it. That's good. You sound afraid. I was very old at the time. It was about 25.

I was 95. I was 90 film. I don't know. I was 6 or 7. It was 50 Phil. Okay. Wait, what do you want to talk about? Let's get on the fucking rails. Yeah, what are we doing here?

Let's get back on track. How about that? How about that? How about that? We are here at Le Mans, me and Michael, because we're racing race cars. By the time this comes out, we will have... We'll have crashed and died into the stand. These will be the last things you said.

I will have taken out 14 families in the stands of Lamar. Our final words will be these. I'm not going to lie to you. It's all I've been thinking about is you guys dying in a fucking car. In an awesome fireball. Don't think about it. You can just see it. Yeah, you can see it.

It's like, I'm thinking about the game coming up. Just watch it. Yeah, just watch the game. You guys are going to die like a mummified couple. Like you're holding each other, but you're only bones. My mangled fucking body engulfed in flames. What do you guys know about this event? Okay, so it's Formula 4, which is the baby version.

Yeah, yeah. The lowest rung. So you must wear some sort of bonnet or maybe have a binkie while you race. Yeah, you look like Bibi Ouija. You guys have been hard stuck silver for a few months, but you go on. Okay, well, don't get me wrong. We're also hard stuck silver in France because we went to the land cafe and tested that theory, and it's true. Yeah, EU-West had got hands.

Did you buy European accounts? We did, yeah. That's... We did. We had to use... What do you have to use our own? Monsieur Edit and... Yeah, and...

How did you say crash out in French? What's 877? I think they have crash out. Really? Oh, really? 8-7. Wich-Set-Set-Set-Sat. Crash-out.

Nuff-Kat-Kat-Kat-Kat. Uh, okay. Yeah, we sucked to ask. Dude, the Land Cafe Ludwig? Okay. Bitch, lock in. What is this... What is the event?

We just said F4 baby. The Land Cafe real quick. If I could quickly just stop by that. Take a pit stop. Go ahead. Call that Piss stop. Change the tires. Rotate the tires.

Dude, no stereotype, no flame on the French people. They're beautiful people. It's a beautiful place. My goodness. The land cafe. We walked in. The smell. It was like.

It was fucked up. It was fucked. It was. We were rooms away from people. It smelled crazy. from human beings and it was like, dude, oh my gosh.

It was like, oh my God, I can't, I literally was like, I can't breathe. We need to find a different room to play video games then. I can't breathe in this room. It was, it was, also I love Cam being here because when we were setting up, I was reading a book and I farted. Yeah, and you're the one being like,

it was so smelly in there. I'm talking. I couldn't handle the smell. And so, and Cam looks at me, he's like, that was crazy. And it was like, it was basically a D minus. And I'm like, I love being around new heads. Like, you know, I was doing crazy shit in the Airbnb.

It was insane. He's been disgusting, dude. I've been disgusting. Dude, we were in an Uber, and we got out, and he was like, I was going to fart in the Uber, but you'd be weird about it. You know, it's like, yeah, you'd be all fucking pissed off. I'm like, no, it's just rude to do. It's rude to do that to an Uber driver. Don't make their lives harder.

Don't fart in their car. Yeah. Also, the Uber driver that came here, he threatened to kill people on the highways. Like, how did I send them to paradise. Dude, we had, crazy. We had the Arab Marcus Brown. as an Uber driver he was going a hundred and fifty in a school zone it was really bad he almost like I wouldn't it's not fair to say he almost hit but he like went way too fast and there's these two elderly people and he said send them to paradise yeah I send them to paradise and then and then when we got here there was these two women doing some sort of media thing on the grass right in front of us and he's like huh sexy bitch sexy bitches huh it was crazy this guy was crazy I was like yeah man anyway we're he So you're going to be racing him tomorrow, I think.

We came to your eyes wide shut, manse. There's a sex party in here. I think it's like a fake mansion. I don't think it's that. So my idea of this, Sludwig, is it's F4. So you go, like, what, like 150 miles per hour? Yep. And are you bored of him talking?

We're on the same side. You're bored of our story? No, I'm bored of F4. Okay, okay, I see. I see. Not F3. And you are not on a NASCAR track. It's not one, it's there's turns.

There's all sorts of shortcuts. and in different ways of driving on it that you must that are difficult and and that's all I know and there's a three day event no two day event Friday Friday's a day of the event but out of race yeah you got most of it okay it's it's a three day three day and they got multiple concerts there's a 200k attendance Michael you're just do you're gonna we're gonna edit it out probably well I guess so we can't now for the context stop rubbing your microphone on your jacket. You're boring him. You're boring him. Don't give me the fucking bird poop chair. Don't get a bird poop. Yes, there's bird. I thought you would like that. It is a giant

French event and there's so many, so many people coming. There's 200,000 people coming. I keep hearing that number. That's insane. We went the biggest, I think, uh, not, yeah, I think the most people I've seen in one spot was when we went to the AFL in Australia. And that was only 90,000 people. Yeah, was it astro world. More than double that. Well, this will be spread over three days. But, What's also crazy? I don't know if we're out to leak this. What's out already? No, how much the event costs.

What's a guess? We were told off camera. They leaked it. They leaked it. I don't know if I can leak it. Give three numbers. Give three numbers and guarantee it's one of them, but don't say which one. Okay, okay.

20 million? 20.1 million. Okay. 19.9 million. Okay. It's one of those three. I don't know it could to be either. Big range

Did he say how much They spent on just us? Yep Yeah Yeah What do you mean When they say spent You told them everything

Huh? Why are we even doing The fucking podcast? A million dollars Five bucks or four dollars Okay Wait That's actually less than

Sorry None of the three That's different than The figure he gave The one you're implying Is more than what he told us Oh it's like 800K When you say

When you say spent on you guys What does that mean Who's spending what What does that mean? Is Riyadh Part of it? Yeah At all part of the same

Yeah, we ought to be here. MBS. MBS won't be here. He only likes video games. Yeah. He's doing a fatal fury tournament at the town over. For $8 billion, and KSI will be there.

And Bill Burr's playing him. Yeah, yeah. That's going to be awesome. It's Bill Burr's Terry. It's, I think it, what was it, $7,000 for an hour? Of what? Driving the cars? Yeah.

Or was it $7,000 a day? it's close to that figure it's gross the cars are like 200 grand each and there's 24 of the fucking cars on the track oh my god and then it's like you know like a day of driving it like you to buy track time is 7K a person I think and that doesn't include coaching

we are guaranteed to have a crash no that's crazy you're crazy you're crazy they're not professionals well you're guaranteed because we're going for it oh you're trying to crash yes this footage on hindsight is going to be horrible really bad for the families I've already

I've already conceded the idea. I mean, the podcast you bailed on before we left. Yeah. You know, all we talked about was these are the last times we'll talk about Ludwig. Yeah. I'm pretty good. We're both good. We're both all right.

There's some monsters out there. There are some monsters. Like there's really good racers? There's, yeah. Are they smurfing? Or do they just practice harder than you and they have more grit and talent? No, no, it's just their third event. Oh.

So this is the third time they've done this in like maybe a quarter of the people here of This is their literal third time. You guys are low-ilo. Yeah. We are newcomers. Oh, I got your heart. Who's better between the two of you? We're neck and neck.

Yeah, we are actually really close. I think Michael was leading, and then I think I binked a better time. But then, like, we were racing. Yeah, we got back to it. We both just fucking were fighting it out at the back of the pack. So at rehearsal, you raced? Yeah, it's not rehearsal. Fucking theater, kid.

I heard it was called rehearsal. What do you call it? picture locked to the event real quick. It was called a rehearsal to me. Guys, everyone is time to block. Isn't Broden here? Isn't Broden here? Yeah, for champs.

Same day. For JCP champs is happening. So that's why I thought it was called rehearsal. Because Brodom was like, I'm here and I'm at rehearsal. Yeah, he's at rehearsal for singing. But I thought he was, that makes so much more. That makes, because he's in Valerie.

Little theater boy. Stage right, huh? He's probably stage right where stage left. Okay, man. Hey, let's bring the cause in stage right. You guys are real funny. Bowling me in a new country that I'm scared in, by the way. Well, how did you guys end up from, like, the beginning of this?

Why are you racing in cars? I still don't get it. That's awesome. I'm new close to you, and I don't fucking get it. What do you mean? What do you mean? How did this, like, did someone call you up and be like, you want to race a Formula 4 toy car? That's what happened to me.

Yeah, yeah. Well, Squeezy, well, Squeezy message me. Who the fuck is Squeezy? Right. Squeezy? He's the biggest streamer in France. He's the biggest streamer in France. What? He is like PewDiePiverance.

So it's like Squeezy, Etowal? Squeezy is... No, Etowal is not number two. He's not number two? No. He's not top... Is it Twal like the Koso? No.

Who is he? A Twal's like... Is he like the cuffam? No, he's like a nerdy trivia guy. Do he stands? He's, yeah, but bigger than stands. Well, that's what I'm trying. This is the metric here.

Okay. Is it Twal, the cuffam of France? Answer the question. He's not the cuffum. Alright. What rapper would he be? Is he Royce to 5'9? Yeah, we're on Royce to 5.9 at the moment, too.

Is It all Royce to 5.9? He's not Royce to 59. He could be. Maybe he, is he like MacLamore? No, it's big. That's pretty big. No. Why can't you answer this question? He's like the David of France.

Okay. Oh, which David? Which David? Dave or David? David? David. Okay. So Etwal is a fantastic musician. an excellent performance

All right Squeasy calls you guys up He says what's up I'm the Kyson out of France What happened is He was in L.A And then I invited him To my Super Bowl party

Atal was like I have some French friends in town Can they come Because I'm about him And I said yeah come And they had a great time Because they ate cuties cooking And it was so in

In memorable That he called me up And he was like Hey will you do the F4 race And then he was like You can have anyone as your teammate And I hit a Michael. Oh my God.

And then Michael, I think, was ready to snap say no. It was before I knew what it was. Wait, why do you want to say no, though? I had some stuff going on. Okay. I was, uh, I was just like doing some shit. And I thought it was going to be like a, hey, do you want to, I don't know, go fucking do what they have. Like hang out one-on-one or something like that.

Yeah. Yeah, that would be so embarrassing. Yeah, that'd be so fucking dumb. But then he had to race cars in France. And it was like, yeah. Are you afraid of much, Michael? You don't come off as a guy with a lot of fear. Death, dying aneurysms?

You're afraid of aneurysms? Crocodiles? Wait, crocodiles? Aneurysms? I found out what aneurysms were when I was a teenager and I wish I didn't. I found out crocodiles when I was a teenager. It was a bad day too. They're the same. I mean, this is the crocodiles of the brain.

You only had one hunter and he's dead. That doesn't tell you everything you know. They got him. They took out the one crocodile hunter. Yeah, but that's it. And then it's, I mean, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's kind of fucking insane the amount of

So are there other like content Like who else is driving these cars Like you guys are YouTube guys 24 freshmen This is huge in France Like you have to understand This is going on like Like public television

Bonsois Oh it's going on public television Yeah Saturday It's gonna be on Stade de What is that? Like ABC 13 They got like French ridiculousness On that

Yeah yeah Yeah Rodontious Jean Pierre Dierdeck Chanel Lermont Steel-Obrim, I like to go and fuck my sister Okay, okay, okay, okay, real back, real back, real back. Sorry, guys, we're very high energy,

we've been together for many days in a row without you guys. I just got to do it when fucking my sister I like to watch something. It's very crass, very, yep. You guys get pretty crass together. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's been, well, mostly him, but I have been encouraging because you haven't been here.

He's winding himself up If I don't encourage him He thinks I He hurts He doesn't more When I don't like it Sure So if I encourage him

It the bit closes Oh yeah I just I recede I shrink It's like It's like when I give you shit And then you just

You just like yeah And I'm like I have nothing to I have nothing to say Nothing to do So how long was the process How long did Like from

You got the call And then you what started I don't get it I got the call We didn't do jack shit Then we came out here three times in the course of three months all the way out here

yeah three times yeah three times of France two trainings and then now this shit it was freaking neat I didn't realize how big it was until kind of until we got here to the first training yeah and I saw that they must have spent a fucking million dollars on just this training and also how big the creators are like the

two musicians they got like 10 songs of 100 million listens are they French yeah yeah they got a nice savage racing a car everyone's French there's two Spaniards that the French secretly want to explode their cars and then there's the two Americans

who they see as no threat so they don't care of us kind of brought us over here to dunk on us but I'm into it yeah right over there they were making fun because they love the school shooting jokes they're like I'm American I like a Ford truck in

in guns and then I went I'm French I like 14 year olds and it was a silent room for a second Wow they don't like how do you Yeah. You didn't have to make a joke about the debts, no.

Also, they love guns, dude. Their cops are carrying around fucking M-4s and UMP-45s. That's the gendarmerie. What does that make? State Police. Okay. There's the state police. What do they need those for?

Fucking search and destroy? Yeah. They had like the golden reptile skin. Yeah, they were like getting a drink out of the Pret-Managerie machine, and the guy walked by with an M-4, and I just wanted to touch it. I know. I think it's called per- What? Prince menagerie.

Yeah, what's... It's like when the restaurant says brazier. It's disgusting. Yeah, why is the bar brazier? It's brasserie. What's a brasserie? Oh, right, brasserie. It's a brasserie.

You go to get your drink, you get a little food. Oh. See, I don't know shit. I don't know shit, but I will say this. I love gay Paris. I love it. Have you guys had French dinner yet? So you keep...

What is this mean? No, what is this French dinner? Because you were like, you were so weird about it when you brought it up earlier. You're going to be worried about it after you go to it. We're going to go right after this. It's right after this. We have French dinner. Is the weird part the food?

No. God, no. The food's excellent. The food's good. Yeah, food's generally. We had rabbit back and lamb shoulder yesterday. Your girl got that rabbit back. That's, yeah.

It was back to China. But you'll get to go to French dinner tonight. Your girl got that rabbit back. Yeah. Got that rabbit back with hair. That's what? Ludwig and Michael Reeve said. So, what is this?

Yeah, what is this? Okay, I don't like this. You literally said save it for the pod and then we started the pod and you brought no clarity. Okay, no, we started the pod and then slime did like a horrible French German accent. I think it was a good accent. You knew it was French. I got to my last dad. Oh my God.

That is not. It sounded like a fucking Transylvania. That is not what is I was touched when I was Gavin. I want to fuck my sister. Like, them. Can fuck you, love. Yeah, it's like, go, I get the latte.

Fuck me, sister. If it's consensual, it is legal. And my favorite streamer is Blouse Toys. I like it very much. Yeah. So that's what you guys brought. And so, yes, we had a little thing, yes. But we're getting there.

Okay, so. It's weird. Have you seen? French dinner. is in that room right there. That glass. The one that we were just in? Oh no, there's the left of it.

Botanical garden looking room. Yeah, we haven't been in there yet. She looks like a shake shack. I'm not going to hold you. Dude, it looks. And for starters, dinner starts at nine. That's kind of a while from now. And it's a bit late.

Yeah, it's a bit late. It's a bit late. A bit late. Are you going to like fuck our brains out? This is so fucking weird. Oh, you'll have to say shit out. Oh, please, will you Ludwig? And then it's a, you order from a menu.

It has a set menu with multiple options. You order. But you can't order until everyone sat at the table Okay And you have to wait for your table to be full Okay So if you don't have enough people to fill the table You never order

You're getting French dinner Has Cam and Christian done French dinner? They have So they're allowed Because something really kind of fucked up around here Yeah so you'll notice behind us If you're watching the video Not listening to the audio

There's a big castle behind us And that's the hotel that you're sleeping in Yeah But over there off camera Not picturesque enough to be filmed there is a literal butler's quarters that both Cam and Christian are sleeping in.

They look like Torrance apartment. For the help. Yeah. For the hell. These guys are telling me, I don't know if they're telling you, but they're telling us like, yeah, we tried to grab a water

from this giant pallet of waters and they were like, that's for the talent. And they made them put it back. Hold on. It was not a water. It was an Arup water bottle. Oh, it's an Arup? It was an Arup?

Was it an Arap water bottle? That's like the main... It was. It was an Arab water bottle. But you gotta hook me up. With an Arab? I'm the Arab guy. He slips it on shape.

Everyone makes part of me. I'm the only Arab guy. It is only for the racist. It's only for the racist. You're not kidding. I'm gonna make sure they don't have enough to give you. What the fuck you are with you? I'm putting my lips around everyone.

I got, I've been roasted all fucking year. I'll get you a fucking pod. Please. The pods are good. You want the pod. The French ones are like shit. Oh my god. It's like, it's like, it's like, it's like,

it's like, it's like, it's like, the worst. The 24-hour Landcaveo is called. called milk. It's called milk. Sponsored by Asus. That's fun. Yeah. I watched Michael, there was a palette of like, there's just like new, like prototype Red Bull flavor and he grabs one. He's like, check this shit out. Cracks it. And then I look away and it's empty and he's crushing the can. It was fucking crazy. When you get a good can of Red Bull in you, that shit tastes delicious. It is a good flavor, winter flavor. Goup home Fuji in John. So what is this

French dinner? You describe something that sounded uninteresting. It's basically a fucking two-hour long nightmare. Or three hours depending. Oh, it's a nightmare. It's a nightmare. Why don't we just go to our own thing? Uh, you can't. You can't. You can't. We can't. We can't. The thing is we don't have enough people at the table if you guys don't come. Yeah. Oh my God. So if one person leaves. We would all have to leave to go to our own thing.

Dude, there is something in France that's weird because we went to dinner last night, me and slime. And we had a reservation, but we waited in a reservation line. What the... Slime and I. We're doing this. Okay, we want to get on my head about the grammar of it all.

You want to speak about it? Right, okay. He cheated his way through college, Michael. It shows. Well. Guess what degree he has? Finance? Close.

So close. Marketing. It's kind of close. It is really cool. Aidenh. We went to dinner last night, and we had a reservation, but we had to wait on a reservation line, which is kind of strange.

Like, there was, like, a long line of people, and then we, like, didn't eat until, like, maybe, we didn't sit down to, like, 25 minutes after our reservation, maybe. And then when we sat down, everyone who was in line like before and after us started getting their food

and no one had come up to us to ask us what we wanted like no one took our orders and I think we were clocked as Americans yeah I think it's because you're dirty Americans I think we were clocks as American but they were so nice to us oh you think you were clogged

but they never asked us they never asked like oh like are you guys ready to order and there was no like order on your phone we double checked everything and I had to just like go get someone and be like can we and they're like oh yeah I think it's a Nick thing

I think that being thrown to this bus? Dude, he's like I don't know, I'm not ordering he's the same. What are you talking about? You were literally the fucking same. I think it's a Nick thing. You are, no, it's actually a French thing. I don't think it's a French thing. It's a French thing. I'm telling you it's French thing. These people, Whoa. Ludwig, they're so lovely to me.

And I have to train him. Okay, earlier, a group of girls who were clearly on a scavenger hunt and they fucking clearly needed a picture with a bald person. It stopped us and asked us for a fucking photo. They were like, can we get a photo with you guys and then later another group of boys doing the same scavenger hunt watched us as we walked by and I'm like they want you it was fucked up it was it was four teenage

girls who stopped us and I was like what is going on yes they were French they were French I saw we are looking men are you American can you take off your ad so a man with a fucked up they asked us to take a picture

I was like we're like fucking sure of course you know us international celebrity types were like yes ladies line up I like how you guys think the clue was take a picture of a bald man. Secretly, it was take a picture of a guy with the smallest penis around. Hopefully, yeah, because it's less embarrassing that way. But yeah, and they just were, like, giggling, and they took pictures, and it's me and Nick just like, and then they just giggled and left.

And Nick was like, they're doing a scavenger hunt. And then a couple minutes later I was like, I think they needed a bald guy. Yeah. And it was so weird. That's the kind of shit that goes down. Find one bald guy and a lesbian. And they're like, I can't believe it. Oh, my God.

What are the odds? No, no. In France, it's like every other couple is a bald guy and a beautiful woman. A beautiful lesbian woman. Why are the French also bald? I mean, bad genetics. What do you mean? It's blooming with testosterone.

There's a lot of baldies. There's also the hottest Frenchman on earth here. Oh, my God, yeah. Gear? Yeah. He's at the grounds. Yeah. What is he?

Is he a racer? He's a racer. He's the racer. The most. attractive Frenchman ever? Yeah. He's, oh,

you're talking about a different hottest Frenchman? Wait, who are you talking about? I was talking about Scott. Scott? Leia's boyfriend. Oh, he's hot.

He's fucking hot. He's crazy hot. Anyway, back to Pierre. Anim. There's three guys. There's a lot of very attractive. It is an absolute. It is a fuckfest.

Okay, Frenchwe will do this thing. I'll try it. Oh, a little half wink. That's tough. Then when they walk by, they don't do the knock. They'll just, they'll smile to go. That's like a Joey Tri-Miani vibe.

It's so fucking good. He'll walk by so casually. And he'll just give the nicest fucking wink you've ever seen. He would walk up and go and give you just to like like you say hi to him and he goes. And it's so nice. I think it's in your bones. Yeah, yeah. You got that.

You have a little head till and shit. They're so and that's how they say hi. And I, every time I go. Hi. Hey. Hey. Bonsoil. They whip me off my feet. Boiswold. But yeah, there's some baddies here.

Yeah, I mean, you walk through the streets of gay Paris. I saw two beautiful men kissing, and I said, you can't do that. He did do, in the Uber. You're just homophobic movie. This is exactly the way. He went, he went, oh, you see that? I was like, why? He's like, two men kissing.

No, I was way more excited. No, it wasn't excitement at all. I was like, oh, my God, did you see that? And then I was like, can't do that. This is, this, even the reaction of, oh my God, did you see that as homophobic? I don't think it's homophobic. Like, it's so weird. You're acting like it's modern family in 2011.

Or like we don't live in Los Angeles, California. What I'm saying is, I think people in Los Angeles are less gay. Is that what you want to fucking say? They're less brave to do that. Yeah, because when you're gay in France, it's brave? I think, yeah. We live in a home of, we live in a heteronormative culture. You're acting like this is Riyadh.

We were in the city of love. The city of love, and they were loving. I think Paris was... I was excited. I think Paris was open to gay people before, well, before the U.S. Yeah, it must be... That's... That's the...

That's what it comes from. I think I'm getting crucified right now for... For looking at a gay person kiss and then go, you can't do that, yes. And he goes, yuck. That was the joke. Yeah. But my initial part was like, ho! Oh, my God!

Oh, did you look at that! Oh, my God! That's so beautiful. They can do that. That's so fucking beautiful. And then I couldn't even fart in the fucking car Yeah, dude He's been farting in a weird way

Me too I think it's the French food honestly There's some French food because I've been ripping it Really? He let the chopper sing Yeah, he let three loose at yoga just now Just now at yoga I was letting it rip Are you barking that John? Oh, yoga? Yep

I think that You could you, do you think you go fart for fart with me? No I and I have stopped trying to challenge you Since our hot dog debacle You know it's sucked is I couldn't even bask in it because you bailed on the episode.

Did you see what I did to him, Michael? No. I fucked him up. I shamed him. What happened? It was, eat a hot dog and then run 100 meters, right? Yeah. And I didn't even know what time I got.

Dude, I think you finished the race before he started the run. He ate the hot dog in about 8 seconds and then ran the 100 meters in about 43 seconds. But it was luckily for him, everyone else didn't finish the hot dog at that time. He ate it so fast and then ran like just a pregnant woman. I ran crazy. I didn't know how crazy I ran until I finally... You ran like Fat Albert. It was fucking...

You run like the co-op guy. Dude, I am so befuddled. I don't know why it looks like that. I'm genuinely going to get back. I'm just going to get someone to teach me how to run. Because I run all the time. That's the weird part. I run every week, at least.

I don't sprint. Also, were you sore after sprinting? No. at all. Don't fucking, don't fucking lie. Don't be an asshole. I know that you want commiseration, but you genuinely are living your own life. You are not sore? Very separate of mine. I was not even a little sore. That's crazy. I peloton every morning. A hundred meters isn't gonna... I don't know. Every morning? My God. When I'm in the States at least. Okay, yeah. You can find one out here. I don't think so. We can arrange that for you. You can raise that for you.

That way. What? I'm homeless. I know. No. I'm homeless, Ludwig. This is real. I don't have a home. Aiden, and I need to stay with you.

Aden's fucking homeless and he has to stay with me. And it's lucky. Can I tell you it's very lucky? Can I say? I've had an awful night of sleep this last week.

Awful nights. I genuinely just swapped my mattress out for a Helix sleep mattress. You swapped into the guest room at Helix sleep mattress? I literally just said this week. So I get a nice, I get a nice little cushy

place to stir it's my sleep quiz not your sleep quiz crawls in at night well if you like the bed then it means that you and I have synchronizing sleep quiz answers wait I don't even I actually don't even want to say in it

why because who took the sleep quiz to find out what type of mattress it is there's no way me and you have the same preferences for a mattress I want my own perfect mattress by taking the sleep quiz well first time you can take the sleep quiz it's really easy I did it twice because I had fun the first time and then the second time I did this is real I did it the first time by myself

And then the second time I was like Oh I should ask cutie Because it's supposed to be his half and her half But I was answering for her Do I get his half or her half when I stay over? You'd have two her halves So it's just a her full You did that you'd have a her mattress

Okay well if you're homeless And you need to stay in your friend's guest room And they got a nice Tell them to do the Helix sleep quiz. If you're homeless, don't, you have to be subtle about it. Tell your friend to take the Helix sleep quiz and then say, hey, can I come over to try your mattress and then stay forever? And then just don't leave, which is actually my plan.

I have told Ludwig that I'm leaving on Friday, but I realistically, I'm going to need to stay for two to three weeks. What the fuck? Hey, go to helix.com. So long time. Go to helix sleep.com slash the yard for 27% off sitewide. That's helix sleep. com slash the yard for 27% off sitewide.

exclusive for listeners of the yard I'll give you a week out of love a week I need two weeks this second week you fuck yourself bro

dude you need me in good condition to do my job sleep here sleep here this will work this is not this is fake grass

this is fake grass we're a set 27% off buddy you could use it you can go to helix sleep dot com slash the yard thank you helix for sponsored

this week's episode so you guys having fun be honest honestly you already got paid by the This is out. Pretty sweet. I think the racing is awesome.

Yeah, when you're actually in the car, there's this, there are these things called flags. And they, they'll be like, it's kind of just like notifications. And they'll tell you, like, this kind of the state that you should be going. Like, yellow flag is like, there's an accident up above or up ahead. You need to slow down. Double yellow is like super big accident. Then red flag is like, go back to the fucking pits now. We need to bring a helicopter out to lift someone out of the gravel.

And we see the red flag so goddamn. What? Wait, what? Yeah. But it's not like their cars flip, but these cars, if they go into the gravel, which are like sections off of the track in case you go too fast and you slide off. People just love it. I don't know if it's a French thing, but they love the smell and the taste of gravel.

And they think it feels good to have on their cars. I mean, me included now, a couple of times. We've had the taste of the gravel. I've had a taste of the gravel one time. But sometimes you go out and your whole session is just gravel sniffers. does this not like ruin the car it hurts it hurts it a bit but that's a red flag

that's a red flag because they got to bring it because there's no way for the car to get out unless it gets towed out and they're stopped right and you can't bring the tow car drive it out because you can't drive and gravel but why the fuck would they put gravel there if you can't drive on it just slow you down shit why not just put the wall there

then the wall would stop the car it's like on the interstate in Colorado when they got big gravel like, uh, it's like somebody hit like a water barrel on the highway and you're like, why was the water barrel there? Why didn't it just row? No, you could just have a lot of sense. You hit the water barrel. This is the water barrel. And then you go, oh, wasn't supposed to do that. And then you keep driving. Do you? I don't think you come back after the bottom. Yes, you do. Unless your car's total. Wait, no. The problem with the gravel is not that your car is broken. It's that you're on gravel. I think the idea that you think you hit a water barrel on a highway.

100 meters of cotton panty if I hit a water barrel on the highway and my car is not totaled I'm fine I'm not on a type of road why don't we bring the fog down I'm making so much sense right now I think you're not what are you talking about okay okay if I hit the water barrel many if I hit the water barrel on the highway if my car is not totaled what stops you from driving it's not going to be not totaled but this isn't the problem with the gravel the gravel is not totally total your car. Yeah. The gravel is a way to not drive anymore.

Oh, you're over here. You can no longer drive. I think because slowing down and being able to, like, just getting stopped on gravel is better than exploding. So what would you put there instead of the gravel? This is a great question. Like a big pool of art? Like a big pool of art?

Someone who has a high level of understanding. What about slime? Slime's a good idea. It's not the best idea. It's a good idea. What we've put 100 meters of cotton candy out there? Oh, you think the car would drive on sand. Yeah, why not?

Because it doesn't do that. Why not? Because it's not how F1 cars work Why not? Because it doesn't have traction The tires is too slick The tires are like The tires are like this The tires are like his gene

They're like my gene delay There's no treads, there's zero treads They're bald It's bald as his head Okay, well why do you have to It's Dude That's a fresh one

I'm fresh I posted a picture of Slime's head And all the replies on my DMs They're just like he's so bald Really? Yeah Dude he took the fucking worst picture. I feel like shake drizzle bro. I think the worst pictures of me

of all time post them on the Instagram story and I'm like, don't ever tell me what these people are saying about me right now. I look insane. I don't think I'm crazy. I think we could find some sort of material. What problem are you trying to solve in your head here? If a car goes off

the track, we don't have to tow it out. Okay. That's the problem with that. Because you have to, because there's a whole process. It stops the whole race. Instead of being like, okay, I can drive back on. He wants like he wants like railings like bowling. I think what he thinks

he wants a parking lot and all of the track is just lines instead of fuckers. Yeah, he wants it to look like the Brea Mall. Yeah, and then you just draw the lines. When you drive on grass, you're slower, right? What is it? Sure, yeah. Mario Kart? Yeah, yeah. It works like Mario

car. You are sorry, you are sorry. Okay, well then why don't you put grass? It doesn't sleep down enough. They do have grass in some places. The gravel stops you from moving so you don't crash. without hitting a wall. It's kind of the whole point is like it stops moving, which then is like why you can't move after. The biggest issue is dying.

It's to prevent death. We'll see. And gravel stops the death. Yeah, it stops you very well. It's very good at stopping. And because it's so good of stopping, it's also good that's going. No.

No, very bad it's going. It's no good. It's 100% in stopping. Okay. So anyway, we, you know. 8020 is what I want. I want an 80-20 material. Something that gives you 20. Yeah.

Tell me that gives you 20% go. A little bit of grid. Just to drive us out. Like gravel with like olive oil drizzled all over it. Flickr material? No, no, no, but it gives you the 20 back so you can drive on it. What about Roman concrete? So it healed itself.

Cobble stone. Cobble stone. Nick, it's not a problem. It's a good thing because you're not supposed to go off the track. It's an error of the driver. I'm sorry, is it perfect? Yeah. Okay.

The way at which Nick has sort of started to do. more Dr. Mario-esque like misunderstandings of the world He's getting dumber. Yeah, he's getting dumber And I don't know why. I think intentionally. Because I don't think he's a dumb person.

Maybe unintentionally because I've seen him play Vex. I don't think that's a fair thing to say. You want to talk about you in midlane, dude? What if I got a mid lane? You want to talk about you in any lane? You don't understand the game. Look at the straws your grasping act. They got to give your champ the second drive steering wheel

so that instructor can stop the car. I bought a mumo on that fucking Smurf account. dude costs 50 blue essence. Two-time platter-up. He is literally just a... He's a fucking AI machine. It's so nothing. But yeah, I will say

E.U.S. had a law hands. What are you going to do about it, though? They're a worse region than N.A., but... What are you going to do? What can you do? They are a racist, how you say? Oh my God, the first game we got in, I bombed it. I did so terrible, but I kept calling the guy who was flaming me racist. He didn't say anything.

He didn't call you, wait, sorry. No, at the end of the race... At the end of the game, they got racist. Oh, but that's what I'm saying is I kept calling him racist because he was mad at me for being bad at the game. You spoke it into the world. And then he just got racist. And he became racist.

And I was the first time I've ever seen the N-word on League of Legends. Oh, it was for now? Yeah. The EU client doesn't censor anything. Yeah, no, no, no. They're really about that, I guess. So, cool, I guess, man. Nice job.

Nice job, EU. Do you play league, Michael? I used to. What did you peek at? Platt? Oh, my God. Maybe, what's about Platt? Emerald?

That's probably before it was Devon. Yeah, I was before that. He was like high platish. I was a Z mid lane. I was a killer Zed Midland. Oh, I hate Zedman. Look at that. I'm pretty good.

You play Knight? Two plat boys. Yeah, oh yeah. Oh, yeah. You fucking, you bad fucker. I was really good at laying and then the game just stopped. I actually wished the entire game of league

was just the landing phase. I had so much fun and just the landing. You should just play fighting games. You should play a fighting game. You should play a fighting game. There you go. I play ultimate. Who do you play again?

Come fucking. my god you would love melee yeah no you guys are kind of made for each other I hate melee why it pisses me off I'm too fast

you're too fast you're too fast you're in F4 races oh F4 yeah we're not F1 I get it yeah we're not F1

I get it no no and I don't understand enough it doesn't I mean some parts feel cool I just like hitting a fuck oh oh you know honestly I might play if meteor canceling wasn't a thing

what the fuck why how do you know what media canceling just learn a nipple spike that oh just to hit the fucking nipples. They didn't know what the nipple spike was until like five years ago because of how rare it hits. It's a fucking five... It's hard to hit. It's like a three degree

angled nipple spike. It's hard to hit. Oh, I'm sorry the game's hard. It's hard. That's a hard one. They didn't even know it existed for a while. No, yeah, I think meteor canceling his ass. That's so interesting. I think I agree with them. I think you're a one-of-one guy. You just got to learn how to do the knee after the meteor spike. But like, okay, you're only looking at Falcon, but like, meteors are dumb for all

characters. Like, it's dumb for Mario. Mario would be so much cooler if Mario just had a spike. Yeah, four air should be a spike, I agree. But I think there's like many such cases of this. It's blue balls. Too many such cases, yeah. So I think the idea of meteor canceling is bad overall.

Yeah, I think my favorite thing about smash is I can spike a child into the ground. And just they die. Because you get a sweet freaking stomp. Yeah. Just turning Ness into a blood stain. Oh my God, yeah. Yeah, my favorite part of my fash is Luigi.

Like Mario. This is, I'm so weirded out. I'm weird. You wore your black AF1s to France. I mean no bullshit here. I am going to die and I will kill someone on my way out. If it's not the Spanish, I'll take out a French family. I'll take out of French.

I've had this seriously come to terms with the fact that you might die. What do you mean might? You have a chance of dying. There's a chance of rain on race day. True. No way. It's a rainy. There's a high chance.

Yeah, on Saturday. I checked that out. Saturday's Hondo P. Rain. And you race no matter what. Yeah. We've never been in a pudge of rain. We've never practiced in a, in a drizzle. Oh, and that's why those wheels are...

14-car pile up. Those wheels are... Slippery wheels. There's race... Oh, and the gravel's gonna be wet Ludwig? Well, my God, maybe that will give you the traction you need to drive out. Good news, guys, the gravels now track.

Because the Roman concrete has absorbed the water. The limestone has melted. We put water barrels, but you can just hit them on your fucking mummy. They weigh about 1,200 pounds. They weigh about 1,200 pounds. You just fucking go through it. Dude, just fucking keep going, bro.

What if we lined up a bunch of deer on the outside? And you hit one in total your car? I didn't realize I hit one of those fuckers was like. They got the antlers all stuck in the... Yeah, F4 cars are pretty fragile. They're cool. You know what I think they do need in racing?

I think they need more trees or more like a cardboard house next to the track. Because when you watch that shit, it looks kind of slow. But in the car, I feel like I'm going 1,000 miles You need frames of reference.

Yeah, you need some kind of reference to tell how damn fast is going. Like, Newtown, like families. Fucking Cam, bro. Cam last trip. We were doing our practice session. In between finding children. Yeah, we're going to source children.

Sorry, Cam. We might have to bleep this for Cam's, for Cam's lively hit. What? Cam DeBrenzi, Bob? What was your last thing? I forgot. Basically any time.

We ever run out of something to say Well, Cam's funny We call Cam a pedophile Yeah, okay Okay, yeah, you've been doing that for fucking forever But, you know, we're keeping it off The mainstream Okay, it's just for you guys

Yeah, because Nick's a misogynist Is carried around Aiden is racist and likes the white You know, utopia of Sweden So this would carry Sure, I guess when you keep saying something It does end up sticking Like how Nick England can't read

Yes And those are mostly harmless Sure, of course, no very victims in that situation. Because there's a little truth to Cam's situation, I think we should have Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's just like, come on.

But anyway, we were, what was I saying about Cam? Oh, he's pedophile. Oh, sorry. Oh, it cars fast. Oh, yeah. We filmed in slow-mo, and it looks pathetic.

Like you're going so slow because it's slow motion. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, there's no speed. You should have filmed in fastmo. Yeah, I'm saying. Cam Phil's in Chomo. What is... What is...

What is... Basmo. That's speeding footage up, Ludwig. Oh. I'm learning. And then there's the Bevmo where you can get whatever you need. Where you get grog. That's what this podcast is sponsored by.

They should put like an Uber East driver on the course while you guys race. And he's like, we should put our fucking Uber driver that almost killed us. Oh, that guy could win. That guy, yeah, that guy, watch out for him. He has no idea how to change the way to start. He was listening to little Wayne. Yeah. He doesn't want to shift balance.

I gave him one star. I never do that. It was just too dangerous. It's too dangerous. Karen. I am a Karen. He could have killed those people. We were you in like residential neighborhoods with tiny roads. Like a two-way street that actually doesn't fit two cars.

If a car comes, you have to kind of like go a little bit off the side of the road, a little bit just to let them by. And he's going like 90. Oh, he got what you were you meant to go fast. He did what they wanted, but quicker. What an idiot. No, I was fine with it. I was, I don't mind. You don't mind?

I think it's more irresponsible for like the people on the road. But for me in the car, I felt fine. I don't know. Because I'm like, this guy probably does this every single day. I imagine he's a decent driver. That's a cool. He's an irresponsible driver. One time I had an Uber driver tell me how to kill and dress a chicken.

How to like pluck and bleed a chicken. Okay. Was this unprompted or did you ask him that question? Unprompted. Got a question about chickens. Now could you recite this from memory? He talked about how you need to not kill it instantly so that the heart pumps all the blood out. He also said this about pigs.

How do you open up for the blood to do? drain if you don't kill it. He was like cut the artery and just let it pump until it dies. Jesus Christ. He said, I need to, he was Filipino. That's how we got on this. He said, I come to America. Don't mean to the accent?

I can. I'm allowed to. This is the Filipino accent? Jesus, I come to America. My children do not know how to bleed the pig. He was talking about how his kids got it easy because they don't need to know how to kill butcher and dress a pig. He's not wrong.

That is easier. If you get to go to a grocery store to get pig, That's exactly what he said. He was like, they just go to the grovewns and they get it. And it's like, they don't know how to do it. So I'm trying to bring them back to the Philippines so we can gut a pig and bleed it out and teach them. And he's like, they don't too bloody the chicken here. It's because they don't cut the neck and let it bleed.

They do it wrong. They do it wrong. Yeah. Oh, and there's too much blood left in. Yeah, exactly. Because if you can kill it instantly. The heart goes out and the blood's still in there. But he's saying, cut the bane is what he said.

Cut the vein and just let it fucking pump until it. it dies. When I, I've told this on the pod before, but when I was like 14, my friend Max, they lived on a, they lived on a ranch, and his dad once, uh, he's like, check this out. And they fucking shot a pig in the head and got it and slaughtered it. And me and Max just watched. Check this out.

And the whole day, we just didn't talk to each other. It was, I can, I can draw every part of that experience by frame. It was, the Filipino Uber driver, in a way, was right. I don't think it made me a better person, though. It just, I'll never forget that. It made life easier. I don't think it did. If you didn't have to experience that?

I don't know. You know what? We probably would have done something different that day. Shooting in the head feels like the wrong way. Dude, I'd shoot it twice. It was fucked up. Oh my God. Because it last hand on.

Yeah, because they put the 20, it was a 22. They put the 22 rifle right between its eyes. Oh, my God. execution style and they shot it and it starts seizing and just fucking squealing and it's not dead perfect to drain though oh it's such a good drain

and it's just like fucking freaking out because it got shot in the head and they just do it again but then I put like all sorts of like gunpowder and stuff in the pig you're not gonna eat the head I guess yeah I guess they're not using the head meat really much there's places that'll pay for some pig for some pig brain but the guy who shoots a pig in front of his kid

probably not the one who's using the head meat yeah yeah He's not using his head, killing an animal like that. God, dude, they hung him upside down, and the blood drained under the concrete, and I never fucking forgot. And it was awesome. And anyway, now we're in front of this big, fucking giant horror mansion that they put Cam in a mask, like a half mask,

and he's just getting fucked on one of them tables. Yeah, like the Phantom of the Opera. Can't talk about it like that, bro. Can't talk about him like that, man. What are you talking about? Can't talk about him like that, bro. I can talk about it like that. He's working for you right now.

He's not working for me. He literally is. a contract. Do you want it to walk away? You can walk away if he wants. Bro's name is Cam and he filmed stuff. Come on now. Come on,

I'll stop playing around. Hey, I have a podcast for name Mike. What are we doing, bro? Yeah. Let you off, guys. My bad. My bad.

It's all my fantasy football knowledge. It's all love, Cam. It's your consultant. Why do you do? Oh, no. Come on. This is brought to you by Michael. He wants you to suffer out there.

So I actually missed the only Michael Reef episode of the yard that we had. Right. You guys were in Nipondes. Oh, yeah. I wasn't here. Maybe you asked this. Michael, what do you like about Ludwig? It seems like a slime question he would ask.

Yeah, he did. I did not. No, I swear to go ahead. He wanted to a fucking diet tried. He's like, you just hang on fucking Ludwig. You fucking come and fucking come back. What do you get from Ludwig that you don't care from all your other friends? I like the way that he plays smash ultimate.

Badly so he can get fucking falconies on me. What is how I get sweet fucking stomps? Yeah. If you lose a single game, by the way, Ludwig, that's embarrassing. I lose several. He beats me almost like every time. That's crazy, okay? He's way better at the game than me. We can just chill and say slurs. That's pretty nice. Dude, yes.

Sure, man. Pretty comfortable sharing those. You wanted a serious answer, and he didn't want to give it to you. He wants to live that whole life behind that Sheena irony. You know, I'm going to let him. Because what power do I have in the situation? You could try to dig through. You could try to be the 22 bullet that pierces his skull.

That pierces his big brain. Michael, I want to watch you bleed. It takes two, maybe three for this point. Yeah, big skull. Oh, man. By the way, there's a little bit of an update. I wanted to update everyone. The saga of Art in the Yard is concluded.

To catch you up really quick, there is a small suburban art collective on North Carolina called Pleasure Island, which is kind of interesting. Yeah. Shouldn't name an island that these days. Why? Because you just shouldn't.

And so this art collective is called Art in the Yard and they stole our logo. And usually we don't care. It's like, whatever the fuck. They probably just could hold a yard logo and didn't know we existed. But they were very adamant that actually they,

their designer made that logo. This one on the mic. Yeah, right here. And so I was in a bit of back and forth. And I was like, if you, basically I said, Michael, I was like, if you guys feature my art at your festival,

then you can keep the logo. This is my art. That's pretty sweet. Wait. They said no. You got so much free time. It fucking... What the fuck you're talking about?

And the lady on the Instagram message was just like, um, I don't think we're going to be featuring that hour. Yeah, I'm good on that. Anyway, to finally update it, uh, they said they've been using this logo since the beginning of their project. I can confirm with the graphic designer. I said, let me know. And, uh, they said, we, uh, we have the email trail requesting a poster design to promote

our first year in the event. The dates are from 2020. So after your podcast starts. for the graphic designer. We have not been able to reach the graphic designer to understand where he got the fence portion of design. But not really fully saying it. They're not really fully saying, like, you're right,

our designer must have taken this from you guys. That is our bad. They're like, I guess the dates don't quite line up in our favor. We certainly weren't aware of your podcast or your fence logo. We thought we had an original design because the fence portion of the design is not really critical to the overall design

and it's to you. We've decided to modify the picket fence portion of our images so that it won't just Just look like yours. Archie, show the new one. Show the new one. They just asked AI to extend it. So they added a McDonald's arch to the end.

Then they said, we will make this change going forward only, meaning they're not going to, you know, change it. Which I don't care. I don't care. I just wanted to be right. You care a little. I just want to be right. Yeah. Since I, because it's an art, fucking, it's an art collective.

I do think if you're an art, get someone in the community to make a new logo. How fun would that be? It would be great. Since I believe we acted in good faith. with purchasing our graphic, which I do think, I would hope you would retract your statements about us having stolen your design. We'll start the process of updating our various graphics this week.

And then I said, just to clarify, none of this on your end happened prior to July 2021, but you thought it did. And they said, that is correct. It happened to our end after July 2021, which is the first episode, which is why we're just not going to draw this out and wait to talk to the designer,

but just make the change now. And I said, are you sure you don't want to feature my art? Dude, you got this fucking 45-year-old woman living on Pleasure Island with her fucking side hustle of art in the yard stressed out every day. Oh, it's a hustle.

It's a hustle. Yeah, that's a great word. We should go look at all art at the event and make sure it's not fucking... Oh, that's a Van Gogh. And I said, you sure you don't want to feature my art? They said, yeah, I think that's a no. And I said, bummer.

And I said, I mean, we would be happy to clarify that you probably didn't know the design was established and in full use, but I personally will be making fun of you for not knowing how long your branding has existed and just assuming that you were right. And then they said, wow, I think that says more about you than it does me.

It does, she's right. She's absolutely correct. And at this point, I'll just say good luck and chow. Now, chow was spelled out C-H-O-W. And then I replied, It's chow. It's Italian

The right way And that has been the conclusion Of art in the yard And it's all good You gotta stop That's awesome That's awesome That fucking

First off yelling Echoed like that That's kind of cool This is what happens Because you stopped being like A reply to people on Twitter guy And now you just need a new outlet You think he's getting it out

He needs a new outlet You're so stupid You're getting it out on this 45 year old fucking woman In North Carolina You craft fictions in your head to make your life seem interesting. I do think, like, it is really funny that instead of making a new fence

because they just took, it's still the logo. They just extend it. It's the same like, the fence poster on the same diagonal, it's the same pixels. It's too petty people being very petty. I do believe it. But one of them is right. And it's me. No, no, you're wrong. What the fuck you're talking about? He took the logo.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Engaging is wrong. No, he's wrong for pursuing his rightness, but he's right. Yeah, that's what I mean. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll take it. I like it. I like being right. Going for the engagement at all makes you wrong. You're not right. I think asking if they wanted to feature the art and having an awesome compromise. That is obviously not a legitimate compromise. But what if they did? That's kind of fun. Imagine they're like, yeah, so this piece, long story. They were never going to feature the piece. What if it was a stick figure of a guy and it's like a sunny sun and a house? Yeah, they might do that. What if we get,

What if we get it done really well? Like we get a realistic, like... Realistic coming penis. Beautiful vein. Looks like a tree in a forest. Like, just very real. Oh, man. Well, look, it's my little saga, you know,

on behalf of the yard, which Ludwig endorses wholeheartedly. Nope. Barely part of it. Quitting soon. Not a big fan of it. My idea, which I said on the last setting, was we don't make them change their logo at all. We just make a T-shirt with their logo.

And it says art in the yard and we sell them. And we don't split the profit. That'd be fun. This is a good idea. Just a little fun. That's fun. We're just fucking having some fun on earth before we get killed in the fucking sex calls.

We get killed in the sex coal house. We get some fucking fun. You're not saying the text call house. You know, like, what am I doing here? I'm not going to get my holes filled? No. Fill my holes, Michael. They're not going to do it until 5 p.m. at French dinner.

Yep. And there's a drain session. Oh, you guys can't go to the drain session. What's the drain set? What the fuck is the lymphatic drain session? Drainning our limbs. You guys are draining your lymph? I'm draining my limbs. Plural, even.

Why? Well, lymph is the fluid. I'm putting my limbs all over the floor. Are they draining their lymph? Why are they draining you? Why are they draining it? So I have none left. Oh.

But you need it. Is that good for driving? Huh? The limps? Yeah. It's not, it's lymph. It's the fluid. My limbss.

But it's my lymph nodes. It's your lymph nodes. You can't. Yeah, I'm dropping my lymphs on the floor. Like your labes? My labes. Gave my laves. Drain my laves.

Drain my laves. Gage. Gage. Drain my laves. My laves are flaring up, Gage. It's really nice to be here with you guys. I mean, having an awesome Italian food while I'm here. I haven't had any French food.

You're like Lily. Why? She likes Italian food? No. Oh. She went into town to explore Le Mans while we were at track time. And she went to the very famous cathedral. And then she wanted to go to a French restaurant.

And then she got nervous about being in the French restaurant because it's all in French as he went to a Korean spot Oh my god. That's so funny. She went for the safe food. You're going for the safe food. Whoa, who else is here? Do we know? So many people for VCT a lot of people are here. Oh, that's so and then Evo France is in a week Yeah, in Nice in the Irish tournament And the Irish tournament. That's right the Irish tournament No I made here spikes only nipples in my family I'm excited to meet your family

I wish we had done that before the recording So we could use it as content Ludwig Yeah you know it's good It's healthy to meet my family And keep it off Your whole life is content The grid, no

You called me to say I love you For the first time in three years And it was for content on stage So disgusting to do that No that was for charity For content For content. Charity is content for you

Think about that If it was for charity You would have called cutie It had a no mom rule I added a no girlfriend rule No mom rules good Making it harder, yeah, that's for charity Making it impossible to get the money

Yeah, probably for charity I'm, okay Which family member of yours Do you think that If I challenged to a fight antagonistically Would fight me Oh, would actually fight?

Yeah His cousin Yeah, I couldn't fight you You're gonna fight, yeah You're being a prick The husband's being a prick Is that the only person You think Pernilla fight me?

No What are you trying to swing on my sister? Like, what are you talking about you? I mean, it'd be funny It'd be funny Aiden was too much of a pussy to admit this But he's been spending money on charity Every month and use rocket money to cancel it

I mean I found out it was paying for his subscription That I forgot about Admittedly Yeah Because I wasn't really sure And you didn't want to calculate in the charity No, it's because

I wasn't really sure If my contributions to that specific charity felt good or warranted anymore. And I was like, I forgot I was donating to that. Not super confident in the work they're doing. Half the value of charity is getting to know the money's going there. That is half of it. Not the charitable work that's being done. No, I want. I just don't necessarily. I feel like. Rocking money is a personal finance app that fines and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, even charitable ones. Can we just monitors your

spendings it helps lower your bills so you can go savings. Yeah we say like YouTube TV or something

so if you're anything like Aiden and you're spending too much on charity because your millions you're making for your podcast aren't enough then cancel with

rocket money so it was so I could take the amount of money and I could up my donation to a different one but how many CS cases have you opened in the past week less than

less than 50 and Rocket money can help you That's the same money like Aiden has. 53 cases. 53 cases and I donated all the skins to the same charity.

That's good. That's nice. That's actually nice. And if they get 10, they can upgrade their pink to a red. Well, if the charity had just thought about fucking using the skins that are all like men wear, then they could realistically trade up to a red that's like fact new. And

the charity had even like considered that. They haven't even considered that. When I said, when I text to them about like, I think here's what I could offer you. There's a lot of good reds out there. There's a lot of reds out there. But if you want to save money like I did, from... Yeah, Rocket Money saved people over $2.5 billion, including $880 million and canceled subscriptions alone.

There are 10 million members save $740 a year when they use all the app's premium features. Use RocketMoney.com to cancel your charitable donations to end causes. No, no, to cancel your subscriptions, your monthly payments that you may or may not have forgot about, it doesn't, in fact, it doesn't have to be charitable at all. For most people, it can be like a streaming service that you forgot about. Oh, no. Like I cancel or my Discord Nitro.

Oh, no. Or it can be charity. Or charity. Or charity. Or charitable cost you forgot you still get money to. We ain't donating this year. We're keeping that shit this year with rockandmoney.com slash the yard. hashtag keep that shit this year.

Hashtag keep that shit. Go to rockandmoney.com slash yard. Were you glad that crater class was canceled? What's that? Were you glad that Crater Clash 3 was unfortunately canceled in a very nice happy way? Why would it be glad? I don't know. You were training up?

No, I wasn't in that. I was in chess boxing. That's probably what you're mixing it up about. Are you sad about it anyway? Yeah, because I did. I wanted to fight the stock guy, but then he had like a heart problem. So I might have killed that motherfucker. Well, no, dude, you would have been going heart for heart.

I think it would have been a fair fight. We didn't go of heart for heart, but mine wasn't serious like his. I was not hospitalized. Stock guy was pretty beefy. I don't know who would have won that. Uh, yeah. It was been fun. And he's got all sorts of awesome numbers in his head,

probably helping him more. Calculations. We were talking to each other while we were training, and he was saying, I don't know how to play chess. So I'm only going, I'm going one way and one way on it. That is the big issue of chess boxing. Every time I ask someone to do it, they only do the boxing part,

and then the first time they see the chess board is at the event. Losing it boxing is embarrassing. Losing a chess is not embarrassing. It is really true. It's also embarrassing if you lose the chest that you don't get to do the boxing. Yes, because it goes first. Yeah, I guess you could remade it. I could scholars mate the stock guy

and be like another job well done. No, technically you could force boxing. Because you could not play your next move. But you have to know that either. But you have to see it's coming, which if you're being scholars made it, you don't know. I guess you're right. That's the issue about chess boxing too

is that even when you win by the chess, if you won the boxing, people are like the boxer low-key won. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because they respect fighting so much more than chess. Yeah. That's crazy. No one watching knows what, well, 80% of the people watching don't know

half of the event. Yeah, they don't know any of the chess part. You don't need to know how boxing works to know who's winning. Dude, what if we did

how chess works to know who's, hot dog boxing? Okay. You have to eat a hot dog between every round. How does that work though? And vomiting automatic DQ.

So you either win by knockout or by I can't eat another hot dog. Oh, so you just run out of hot dogs that you can play in your body. Or if you throw up

you lose. Yeah, yeah. Throwing up is throwing up is the opposite of eating a hot dog. Right. I like that. You can't boot and rally?

No, no, No, no, no, no, no rally. It's got to keep the hot dog in you. So basically you got to punch them in their stomach to get them to throw up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. How about, how about, um, geek bar boxing?

Oh, my God. And you got to drain the geek bar. And so first to drain. He's got a double blinker between rounds. But first one, a drain wins. That should be coming on my ears like Wiley Coyote. When's the last time you swung? Goon boxing, sorry.

Swung on someone? Yeah, or just like swung your hand for a workout. Dude, they had a carnival here With a punching machine I swung on that Did you hit it hard? I hit it pretty hard He's strong

But it was like He punched harder than me for sure I don't I don't punch much anymore Yeah The last time I boxed was Dude against toast For training for his chest boxing

I was like one of his sparring partners Yeah But that's the last time I was like Actually in any kind of sparring or combat Would you do another one? Fuck no God no Yeah Why not?

That is this is like the common thing I've heard from a lot of people who do it. They're like no, I would never do it again. I'm so happy to do it. I feel like no, I'll never do it again or like, or you're addicted. Yeah, yeah, I guess the answer is either guess or no. I mean, to be clear, I really like fighting. I like the act of it. I don't like getting hit in the head and then being like

sleepy the next day. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know if I'm like permanently brain dead or just aging, but I'm like, I don't know if I feel like dizzier. I'm pretty hypochondriacal. and um like so i i don't know but um i just wouldn't try it just in case i would yeah i would like drop like an edgeguard and melee i'd be like that was because of the box yeah yeah i wasn't like before i was trying to see the signs everywhere but it's so fun it'll be like okay if he does

this i'm gonna hit him with the three piece and fries and then you actually hit the three piece and fries executing the plan yeah yeah yeah i i'm a hypochondriac too i used to be i kind of beat it out of myself yeah i didn't i shouldn't say it that way i did not masturbating until i was so hard in the head that I don't think about it anymore. Really cool. But that's why I always talk to cutie about like hypochondriac shit because she's crazy about it and I'm like, I've been

where you're at. It's going to be alright. Can't go my girl crazy. I think I can because we share this. No. I was as scared of cancer as she is all the time. And then I beat it out of myself. Yeah, but now you beat it out so you can't. Like I was bald. I could commiserate. Now I'm not bald. I can't have that. I don't have a past. I think I, but I still

it's a lived experience. Just because you don't feel fear? Then I hold the bald pass. What does that mean? I get to say that I know what it's like to be bald. I'm Yeah, it's always, everything you did was by choice, I didn't have a choice. And being hypochondric? In being bald and a hypochondriac. You get a choice. You were bald, but you skipped balding

so it doesn't count. You skipped balding. It's like you went the digital press, but you skipped the analog press. It just doesn't. So Speedwagons isn't going to know you're trying to drive. So can't patients who are bald don't count. No, they don't. No, we don't call them bald, Ludwig. So we do. We say get well soon. Dude, if you're a cancer If I got cancer and had to go on chemo

I am not I'm still bald But I was bald before Like they're a people In the ocean The tribe of the alopecians They live in South America I believe Maybe it's on some like

Pemdash shit like the hair comes back Well the hey group was talking about that He had his hair came back kind of weird It grew back curly Yeah. And then it came back normal. I'm proud of him. I'm proud of all scientists.

And I'll say that. How many could you name? I'd name so many scientists. Five. Neil degrassi Tyson. That was my one. Albert Einstein, Hank Green. Hank Green's not a scientist.

Enrico Fermi. Okay. You like that one, bitch? I do. I do. I do like that one. The big paradox guy. That is three.

How about, wait, Hank Green is a scientist? No, he's not. No, he's not. Really? Yes. Would you say that to his face? He would say he's not.

I can call him. We said it to his face on the show, and he said, I'm not a scientist. Yeah, so actually we don't need to call him because we actually did this already. Archie can just play the clip. Michael Reeves. He's an educator. Also not a scientist. No.

Then what are you? I was going to say a bad word. Racist? I don't know. That's a great word. Definitely not a scientist, though. Fine, bro. Can I just say you have amazing caps.

Thank you. Have you always had awesome cats? Oh, my. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, my goodness. It looks like you have shing guards and your skin. It's a Filipino thing. It's a Filipino thing. We're really, we are the best at basketball until sixth grade.

Let me tell you what. Let me tell you what. We are so good at that. You feel like tournaments? Dude, yeah. Dude, the Filipino kids were so good at rejecting in my school. Rejecting? You're like jerking?

The dance. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. We got a lot of B-Boys. Yeah, they use their athleticism and other things after they realize basketball will not pan out in their lifetime. Well, boxing. Go Lakers, though. Boxing. Boxing.

Boxing works for them. Shit, there's a lot of short boxers. You're still too short. Short for what? Scientists. Oh, too short. Oh, my God. When Manny Pacquiao was revealed to be racist, that was probably like 9-11 for the

Filipinos. They didn't. It was racist? They didn't care. He said some crazy shit, man. He is still a god there. He's still a guy. The boxer that 50 cent made fun of that can't read.

No, that's Mayweather. That is Freud-Money-Mayweather. That's Freud-Money-Mayweather. Who beat? Mani Paco. And I was, that's the only boxing fight I ever saw as a kid was, was, the Filipinos love having like big party dinners. I went to one.

I went to, dude, Filipino dinners awesome. Yeah, and I went to it as like at nine years old and dude, the vibe when he got beat by Mayweather was atrocious. It was so... Wait, you were nine when that fight happened? Or whatever. I was young enough to be like, I think what I was doing was like...

Wait, how old are you right now? 27. No, dude, you might... I must have been nine. I remember like I was nine. I was nine. Dude, the amount of shoes at the front door. a fight like that. It's like a children's birthday party.

The Robert J. Oppenheimer. Yeah. Nice, dude. Upy. And then as opi, opi side shots with opi. And then my final scientist for naming five scientists for the Ludwig five scientists challenge to win $1,000 is, of course, has to be out obviously and so clearly

uh um dr manhattan okay yeah I guess we didn't say non-fiction and Professor X

kill yourself so many scientists get unlocked after you say Dr. Manhattan I actually know several now duck ock too yeah yeah man good

you got there I'm so smart people say that about you such a beautiful little villa in this weird little sex cult Slum keeps talking about wanting to move here To France To like anywhere

You can live in solitude In a small apartment In a booming metropolitan city Close a close tightly knit metropolitan city You could not handle France Of course I could What are you talking about?

You could not handle it Slim said he could live any single single place on earth in the world If it had fiber internet Yeah he said discord is a one to one replacement for social interaction in real life Boomba clap First off

that is a dangerous formula. No, it's not. Yeah. What could go wrong? Dude, if the Unabomber just had a Discord chat that he had like a Rocket League friendship group, I think he wouldn't have done the stuff that he did.

Of course he wouldn't. The Unabomber coming home to Discord, guys, it was me. That's all. I'm turning myself in. Yeah, I think you would actually not be able to live here for one reason and it's the service. The service?

What they're talking about? They fuck my sister. I smoke cigarettes. It's all he's been done. It's been on repeat. It doesn't make sense. It's been on repeat. Circumstance.

It has smoked cigarettes. It is a beautiful utopia. You couldn't handle it because the service here, you like American service. And French service is way different. All the French service has been really nice. Like, what do you mean service? I thought you meant like internet service. You mean like restaurant service.

How people will treat you when they see how you look. Dude, they've all been nice to me. The speed of how people. move here is just different than America. I don't think of a fuck. You want fucking Chipotle. You want fucking... I pick out my fucking beans and my fucking... I don't think you understand. I don't think you understand me. You couldn't live here because you can't get your chapolet.

I'm going to eat chapolet. That's a crazy part. You think you know me. You're pulling rabbits out of your ass. You can't get your fucking door-dash salad. I would just go down the street. I don't need a doordash. You're going to change your tone after French dinner. You are really going to change your whole... You're really going to change your whole...

I'm fucking quick. So what you're saying is the culture that you are inundated with is miserable it is it's a different lifestyle it's alaise like okay for example lunch yeah we get

dude we show up first and we leave within five minutes and they're still eating lunch it's a two hour lunch this doesn't affect me if I have fucking fiber internet I go I grab some food I fucking go back to my apartment and I game and I sit in my underwear

why don't you should do that in Iowa I could do it in Iowa that it could be anywhere. But I like a lot of people being around. I argued that I didn't believe that he was, I think that Iowa thinks cap. I think he thinks it's, there's a hilarious angle for him to be here. There's something,

there's a fish out of water aspect. There is a there is a, I'm surrounded by cobblestone in old buildings and I'm playing I'm gaming on a, on it with a PC and a gaming desk and that to be him is funnier than I live in Montana. I would do, I grew up in that. If there's a lot of people around I think it's cool. But also yes, I think

also I think it'd be cool to like be in another country I'm getting really Aden-pilled and I think that's fine Wow But you know Different from Aiden I appreciate the ethnic makeup Of other cities Yeah so Aiden wants to move to Sweden

Because of ethnic makeup But he just hopes that he'll never see a person of color again Yes and if he does He'll say And keep walking You have talked about maybe living in Japan Oh I'd love to live in Japan Why? I think it'd be freaking

Swedish life or like for a short period of time No, probably for a short period of time I think I got the whole thing planned out I think I leave Los Angeles as soon as it can Well, no, like four years Then I go to Japan Like for one or two years Then I think I'm thinking Colorado after that

Colorado I'm like a mountain town or something You crazy little bitch That's where I'm from Yeah for like yeah but not that part And then I go to like I go up in mountains Grand Junction is not where he is

I'm not from Grand Junction I went to college there And then I die in Hawaii, I think That's cool Yeah Back to the old country Yeah back to the old country How soon to death

Like a year before? No, I think I'd want to get like I don't know 10 years out of it So like I don't know when I'm 30 Yeah yeah A lot of moves happening Because you have to be in L.A. for four years The mass isn't...

We'll get there Not a whole lot of things makes up Can you list the islands? Yeah, Maui Probably number two. Two. Realistically, number one is probably Kauai. I mean, in terms of stuff.

Nah, Maui's number one. Fuck Hawaii. Kauai's stupid as hell. Maui's number one. Like, Kauai's probably number two, and then it's everything else, and then it's Oahu at the bottom. We say fuck Oahu on the Yard podcast. And in the sex mansion, we say fuck Oahu.

Fuck Oahu. We don't have the H-pass. Yeah, yeah, you do. I did give it out. What's the H-pass? I'm a lot to go to Hawaii. You went on stolen land. Yeah.

On stolen land. I thought it was a word. On Larry Ellison stolen. I had seven Pinacolados that probably stimulated the economy. A little bit. Virgin Pinacoladas? Virgin. We're rocking around going Havahi.

Havahinae. Yeah, the apostrophe's a consonant. Learn that. I was there. Real Hawaii is. I feel like I'm in some sort of gothic horror story and I'm just not going to make it the morning. Dude, you're not the one driving a fucking motor vehicle. I'm not talking about your dumb car.

I'm talking about this. You're not staying here and you're not doing anything at risk. They're not going to let me leave. You're going to an Uber, fart in it. End up at a fucking hotel and go, I was my next day, I was my last day day. You're like a binding of Isaac character. I am Forrest Gump.

He's fucking right, bro. He's right. Yeah, you're going to wake up. I'm fucking waking up and I got to fucking go race a car. You should see the fucking Airbnb we're staying in. We should not be a lot. We should not be allowed in this place. It is like a home of an art collector,

and it's like, it's gorgeous. It's like a villa. It's gorgeous. Don't worry about that. That's not for you to worry about. There's nothing potent. Don't worry about it is very much, though. Also, her husband looks crazy.

It's, it's like, it's someone's house. It's like someone's human house with, like, her shit everywhere. That she's just Airbnb. I think they have, like, another's place to live while people live in this house. And they're just, like, family pictures up everywhere, and I'm like, look at this guy. Looks crazy how? He's just got a fucking crazy face. Dude, what the fuck is wrong with you?

He looks so normal. I don't know, man. What is it wrong with you? I don't know, mine. You can't just be like that. Why not that man? Does she charge me $4,000 to leave in the house? You're the one who spent 4K on an Airbnb.

It was the only option. Because you fucking cuck sucker. Me. Oh, my God. Come see me a race. Come see me try it And we had to come and fucking figure it out And there's nowhere to stay

As if the group chat wasn't like The day before you're supposed to leave What day we're supposed to leave again? There's nowhere to stay Oh tomorrow we'll get a ticket Oh should we get like an Airbnb Also they deleted my Airbnb account And I don't know why

I'm not kidding Because of the things you do in it I don't do shit It's probably the smell you left behind The last one It's probably because you fucking message An Airbnb hosts And you say like why do you have those fucking pillows

Are you a colonizer? You just make fun You just like craft a fiction of your life Oh yeah About me I'm going off of what you said today It's literally what you said To have a fucking fiction

About my life To fill some agenda Some fucking political agenda They're not gonna let me leave Who's day? Damn There's a Butler's quarters No one knows you're here

And that's also weird There should be more security here At a hotel? I don't know A castle, yes we should have nights Because it's not like a legit castle Look at that. That's a castle, brother. Oh, it's a fake castle.

They built it. This is what you want one day. You want fucking Butler's quarters. You want fucking Kim and fucking Christian to live in there. Rotten bitch. You want Yingling to live in there. Dude, you should get a Butler's quarters at your house. I take good care of my boys.

And the Yingling can live in it. My garrisons? Garson. Take good care of my garrisons. I'm just so overwhelmed, man. I like the level of casual racism in France. Yeah. I've been hearing a lot of that.

Really? I haven't experienced any of that. Europe is high tier at that shit. France is quite racist. They go crazy with that. They have a lot of immigration. Now, they're quite racist. I am quite racist. I love it to be this way. It's a good country, but maybe too many Muslim.

I think it's... I hear them say that. They say it's hijab. I think they're hiding something in the head. I'll never forget that Italian Uber driver. Which one? He was the nicest guy on our trip, and we were like just talking, asking all these questions. We were like, do you guys...

Do you guys think like New York Italians? They're like real Italians to you guys? And they're like, ah, they're like a more Italian than us. Bantering was all fun. We're about to get out of the car, and he's just like, it's like, watch out for the insert hard R. N word. And we're like, what? Brother, whoa.

A small tip for Italy. A casual friend. We were having us a good convo. That's so crazy. Last time I was in Gay Barrier had a great time, and so far I'm having a great time. But the problem is that I'm not making it out of here, bro. I'm making it alive. They're not going to fucking...

And we're also taking back with ours. Really, the problem is you're going to spend four days in Lamont. We're after to fire away out. Which is not a hot tourist destination. No, no, no. Every time we ask someone, what do you think of Lamon? They make the... Like, they ate a lemon.

Like, a lemon bite. I don't think it's that bad. I don't think it's that bad shit. I have enjoyed it, but also we get to ride race cars. That's true. If we didn't drive race cars, it'd be quite boring, I think. This is like somewhere between Stokon Trent and London. It's like just a middle ground.

It's not terrible, and it's not terrible. and it's not lively. Yeah, it's just a fucking place. They don't have a land cafe. They do have a video game store. I might go stop there. That'll stimulate my brain for 45 seconds. Fucking video games.

There's a comedy place. Let's go watch some French comedy and laugh ruckously. Yeah. That is a very funny joke. Imagine a man who smells pretty good. This morning I went and put on the orange. Why are you in the comedy clubs speaking English? French accent.

Well, it's to be more diverse. There's more people laugh at the jokes if you speak more. Right. Do you ever go into the Uber

and there's an Albanian? Oh, I hate it for some of it. That is fucking worst case in area. I don't know if it's accurate,

but I said English wasn't a top three language here. Yeah, I would imagine it's French. Arabic. Oh, Arabic. Yeah, and Portuguese.

Portuguese. Portuguese. Portuguese. I was very surprised. I wasn't surprised by Arabic. I was surprised that English. that English was not top three.

They're horrible at English here. Most of, like, every fucking English that he was spoken is like, they all go, hey man, I'm English speaker. Barker. Do I have guns? There's a guy who does that.

Do you have guns? I love guns. Donald Trump number one. Yeah, that's a new update. Every English accent that they try. I love it. Is Lily? So Lily's here?

Yeah, allegedly. Oh my God, we can go hang out. Is she coming to the race? She is coming to the race. She's trying to say. see Broden's performance, same day, which is the same day as a race. What the fuck is Broden? Are you singing?

Broden made a song for Valorant. It's quite popular. What? Minions. Millions of listens. This is crazy. And he's performing live. No one tells me shit. He's an artiste. This is out there. Is it really good? On the internet.

Is it rap? It's rap. It's rap. Yep. Broden does freestyle rap. Christian hip-hop. Christian hip-hop. Broden Pellet and Royce, the 5-9. Yeah. Yeah. And he does the whole time, accent. Okay. That's so fun. Yeah, give it a listen. Very good Jamaican accent. It's a treat.

Are we, so were you going to get special seats at this event? Honestly, I'm a little worried about that. Okay. Oh, about like the amount of, or the 20 people that we were allowed to bring? Yeah, because we're allowed to bring 20 people and all we have is like the box right behind where our cars are. Yeah, which is a cool spot, but it's the best spot maybe. It actually is not. Yeah. Oh, because you can't see anything. You don't see you don't see shit and it could fit like five people and I don't know how 20, would fit in there. The bitch isn't sold out though, right? The bitch is. It's oversold.

That's really bad. That's really bad. So we're going to have maybe the worst time ever. Nah, you get to see the TV, which is nice. Yeah, the TV of the TV. I think you can see us when we come back. Exactly. Do you guys have the suits that are fire retardant? He's enunciating so much. Yeah. I'm trying to get through it. Yes, we do have the suits that are fire retardant. So are they like uncomfy? Tell me about the experience of being in a car now.

They're beautiful ones. Dude, they got us like different sized ones in case because we measured ourselves and I really was fucking nervous because they've been all calling me fat as fuck the whole week. We're gonna be all you were gone.

Good man. Everyone does that now which fucking hurts me. And the eyes level thing that unfortunately started from that picture. Yeah, my picture, whatever. And then, and so

they gave me the small one at first and I've never felt fatter. Really? I thought I'd gained weight since the measurements. Yeah. Because we've worn them before, right? Yes, I wore before and it was fine

and then I wore it again and I was like, I was like the Michelin Man. He looked like those like baby angel dolls with the belly stuck out. I couldn't bend over. It looked crazy. I genuinely didn't bend over. And like, I was like trying to be good nice because it was like he's going to have to wear the-so. But I felt really weird in it.

And then they gave me the bigger suit and then everyone was like, oh my God, thank God. Oh my God. You look crazy. His balls look like a pig brain after a 22 shot. It looked fucking split. You could tell at a glance they were split down the middle and they had no blood flow to each other. Jesus Christ,

yeah, so now we're good on the suits. It's weird getting in the car because it's like kind of, it's okay to get in the car, but then the guy who, you don't buckle yourself in because you have a helmet. It's like kind of a guy who just does everything for you's your race engineer. And he seats you in the car and he fucking straps you in.

And then he uses every bit of weight in his body to strap your seatbelt in. to the point that your chest is like getting sat on is it is it claustrophobic in there I don't really I mean I think if you were claustrophobic

it would be you probably have to practice like driving with the range of motion that you have while that constrained right or you don't have another option it's not like you ever go out

without that range of motion and the driving is not like one to one there's almost nothing to do with the regular it's a dumb question are these manual transmissions yeah they are

they are but they have paddle switches so it's like no so it's CVT your clutch no also no. Oh, so you have to know how to technically drive stick to drive these cars? No, also no. There's no stick.

There's no stick, but you have to understand when to shift gears? Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Which is all driving stick is no stick. No, there's the clutch mechanic. All of driving stick is the stick. Yeah, it auto-clutches. It's the stick and the clutch. And it auto blips you when you down shift. So it auto-clutches up, and then it auto-reves your engine when you go down.

So you think about it pretty much not at all, except be memorizing like when you should be in a gear. Getting out a first, getting out of first is the only thing that's hard. You do have to use. the clutch for getting... And a lot of people struggle on that one. Oh, so it's really just like what part of the track you're in, you kind of just know, right? Kind of, yeah, and starting it from

zero is embarrassing to stall. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's embarrassing in normal life. You need a lot of gas for this. Yeah, it's definitely not intuitive, and the clutch takes about a thousand pounds of pressure to depress it. What does the clutch do, Anthony? It's, uh...

Ask him. Well, Michael probably knows better than you, but there's a diagram. It's like, there's a spinning thing, and the clutch, like, engages and disengages with it and it's cool imagine you have like an engine and it's turning all the time but you're at a stop so like how are you are you not moving at a stop

it's like I want to sometimes not have power to the end to the wheels right so it's like imagine a stick is spinning I just press them together yeah now they're yeah it makes sense but it's the letting go that presses them together and when you press it out yeah yeah right um

dead ass close is it to Mario Kart? Almost as, except for the awesome gravel, not zero. Yeah, zero. Zero. Zero. Except for the, fucking, zero. Genuinely zero, yeah. How close is the sim to real racing? It fucked me. It fucked me in my little hole. It helped a bit. Okay. It fucked me in my tiny hole. It's little. How did your hole get fucked by the sim?

Dude, it fucked us in different ways, kind of, right? You're breaking points, right? We're bad. The habits that I formed at certain points were worse. And I think it helped. to me get better at slow turns and went to gas. So, like, there's some pros, some cons, but, like, it's just a lot different. Is it just, maybe you can't say this? Is it just, like, a bunk sim? Is there a better sim you

could have used? No, no, I mean, it's not about the sim was good, I think, because I've used eye racing and a set of Corsa, but it's really just about like, uh, because those F1 guys, they train on Sims too, right? You can use Sims, but like, I don't think you can use Sims to mock the race. I think it's mostly for

learning the course. Oh, I don't know. Oh, the course is mapped? Yeah, the course is And that's what we did. So it's like a pre-visualization tool. And it looks just like it. So we really got used to the shit. There's little races, French people. It'd be good to use sim.

If you generally use a sim on like various maps and then race a totally different area that you've never simmed, you would come with more knowledge. Oh. But if you race, if you send the exact like IRL shit, it wouldn't be one to one. I kind of fuck my technique a little bit. Like I've learned from my coaches that I wasn't turning the steering wheel as much. Like the right amount, which sounds crazy, it's like just turn the fucking wheel more. But in the game, it kind of punished you for turning the steering wheel. You'd spin out more.

So in real life, I'm really now quite tentative about doing it. And I'm trying to unlearn it really hard because it helps every time I do. What are your strong and weak points as drivers, each of you? He's good at the, like, straight up hairpin turns. He's quite good at those. I'm good at the chicanes. He's good at the chicanes. Yeah, the raisin chicanes.

Chicanes. Yeah. That's the spot. I, well, we're almost on there. Oh my gosh We're almost at the time, right? Oh, 125. All right, well, how about this?

I want to raise the stakes between you guys. The stakes are high right now. Oh, he's got some stakes. You guys got to hear this. I bet one of the other racers. I'm on the grill. There's no chance that I win this race. Me and Michael win.

No chance? Unless there's a 14 car pile up, no. Well, let's just say there might be because I've been working out of a side project. We are going to kill drivers. If someone dies, this will be not aired. Yeah, so there's almost no chance that we win. Is it just because you're bad?

It's just because they have more experience and their times are consistently faster. And they're really hot. And they're really hot. Fuck. Oh, you're mid here, huh? Mid? You're normally hot. Like, you're the hot guy? But you're mid here, huh? Oh, bro, he's a LeMond five.

You kidding me? Not a LeMont five. Kill yourself. These are not LeMont people. Okay. What kind of people are they? He's got a fucking scavenger hunt, bald guy. Yeah, I'm in the negative.

I'm one of them imaginary numbers in France. But one of the racers, because apparently it's gotten back to a couple people, I was just talking shit on my stream about him. Like, I was making fun of the Spaniard because he winked. Every person has gotten back to him. They've gotten back to me of anything. I said, the Spaniard, I said he winked bad on my stream. And then he goes, I've been working on my wink.

Oh. Interesting. And he didn't get it at first. He was like, why the fuck did he say that? I don't remember. saying it. I was like, cool, good job. And then, uh, co-cote, I was, I called, I just called her shit. I tried me. And that got back to her. And, and so I have a bet with her now.

And the loser has to get a tattoo that the winner draws. Oh, my goodness. So my whole race is, do you know that between you two as well? No. No, no, we're teammates. Yeah, yeah, we're on I don't care if Michael wins. Okay. Well, I mean, I want to raise the stakes. Okay. you guys. I'm putting up $100 for the winner between them too.

That's right. Dude, this is gonna change everything we do. I'm gonna fucking TV. I might have to kill you. I might have to put it.

Oh God, Michael. There's a hairpin chican coming up. I got one part, but we get to use the vehicles. And they fucking do like Voltron.

The hands come out of the car. Yeah. And then I say, do you remember the double lariat from Naruto? and then you fucking spin to my car 180 and fuck cut her head off yeah that's the plan

I want to get in one of them cars did I get not last? Oh you'd get last by like so much to be absurd come on within maybe four turns you'd spin out and go to the gravel what are you talking about for four turns it's like are you Versillo right coming up from them behind

Versillo going 40 kilometers an hour has managed to get through the first racer to drive on gravel Turns out, there's always an option. Turns out you could just drive it out. He's reinvented the sport, slowly. They told him not to do it, and he did, and now, oh my God. Oh, God, he's through the water barrels.

He's still going. Versillo, up the crowd. He's a national hero here in France, and here comes Royce the 5-9. The Royce the 5-9 hologram. We've tapped it to his comes. Let's hear in. I got molested. I have Royce, I got molested when I was a child.

I'm going to go fight my sister and then have a cappuccino. I drive for a... That is a great note to end on if you ask you. Yeah, that's it, man. Yeah, well, thanks, guys. Thank you, Michael, again, for coming on. The podcast, as always. Anyway, so we're going to take off, and again,

depending on what happens on the racetrack, this might be a very somber one to look back on, but hopefully you guys don't explode in the firewall. By fight away. Archie, just end the... You can just end the episode with, like, in loving memory and whoever died. Yeah. It turns out as you.

Yeah.