The Yard - Ep. 222 - Living In Japan! (w/ PremierTwo‬)

Episode Date: October 22, 2025

This week, the boys are joined by Peter! They talk about living in Japan, becoming a father, and how Peter was the host on NHK.. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We should talk about the guy who ran a marathon on me. What? We should talk about the guy who ran a sexual marathon on me. We should talk about the guy who was 36 when Twilight Eclipse came out. Introducing Peter We're It's not the greatest intro I'm too fat

No, it's a child slide man It's a child slide Alright Don't feel too bad Come on in Sit on down We're talking Twilight, yeah So we're gonna have to get that

Are you in Twyhead? Like me? Boom Nice job But are you a team Edward or Jacob Edward of course It's a great question Why of course

Because Jesus is a drink. I think on hindsight in our modern society, Edward is now known as a pedophile. Oh, no, no, it's Jacob. He was the one who imprinted on the child. That was Jacob. Excuse me, Jacob is a pedophile. Right.

So Edward looks like a pedophile. Edward actually low-key, also a pedophile, because he's like canonically like a hundred and seven years old. Yes. And he's like, I'm really. That's fine. I'm into, I'm in disgusting broke. That's okay.

This is why I'm so torn. Which one do I like? And our friend here lives in Japan. Six, seven choices. You could not say stuff like that around him. But yeah, thanks you guys for having me. Seriously, this is so cool. Yeah, Team Jacob for me.

What's cool about it? Well, you know, I feel closer to people my age. So it's like we're hanging out with the guys who still run and get like 10 restaurants in a row. I feel like this is fun. You guys are playing D&D like dorks. Yeah. And I like I was watching you. I was worried about your mental state because you've been on at the time of this recording,

you've been on this league slide where I thought you just come in here. Royd raged and, like, pissed off. Oh, no, Royd, promise. Very low testosterone levels in my body. That can't be Drew, you're bald. I got the unfortunate testosterone. By the way, amazing hair. Thanks, man.

I appreciate it. You really do. I got love you. I got, yeah. You look great. I was just telling you, of course, that when my, I was in college as ages ago, and my dad came to watch me in this play because I was studying acting. And he was like, so you like crazy?

hair because it kind of looks similar to what we have. And I was like, yeah, it's fine. And he was like, so you like it. Yeah, I think it's cool. That's such a dad thing. He never cut his hair again until he died. So I hadn't seen him for three or four years because we were not close, right? But I went to his funeral down to his belt and he was like six two.

And he was, I asked my grandmother, what's the deal with the hair? And she goes, oh gosh, he said that you liked crazy long hair, so he just never cut it again. It's a sweet. It's a shitty story. It's like you tell them you like something and they're like they commit to it. Do you feel like the sword was passed down now? Do you feel like you can never cut your hair again? Alcoholism?

Oh, the hair. Oh yeah. So let me think. No, I'll cut the hair. I tried to do like this long hair thing and I'll be honest. The forehead, the line, it's starting to recede a little bit. I'm getting like the... Pull it back.

Like, you know, we got like... No! It's not bad. It's looking good. The two bald guys on this bottle will tell you what's... Let's just be honest with each other. It's just four guys. It's four guys that have hair and one guy that does it.

Every, every, every week I get a thumbnail that sent to me to approve for the D&D show. And this week, it's such an important episode in the campaign. It's like one of the biggest story moments we have so far. And the only feedback I have was like the hair line on Aden in this picture doesn't do justice to how serious the story. Can you find a more flattering picture of Aden? Because it almost seems funny. This is fine. This is peak male.

You look like Walton Coggin. Oh no. I want to put you in a thong. I look like Walton Coggan. Yeah, you got to stop the bleeding right now. You're like not the ghoul, but you know, you're like 38, right? So it's okay. It's got a native in it.

How old are you? I told you, I missed it. I told you. Today is my 42nd birthday. No, happy me. Thank you. Happy birthday.

I was looking for God and shocked. I'm clapping. Thank you. Thank you. You didn't even know this? No, he told me he's on Friday and I was looking for God. It's a piece of shit. Nowhere I'd rather be the discussing twilight in my hairline.

You are farther in age from slime than I am from slime in the other direction. Wow. I'm 35 and you're seven years older than me. Yeah. So in Japan, which is where I live now, they would say you're, Ataful, which is around 40. They just round it up. So you're with me now.

They say that? Yeah, yeah. So... I like that. It's cool, but you know, for women, it's a really tough one when they're 25, because they just, they immediately get 30. No way. And it's like, uh, that's, so for guys like us, we're like, yeah, we're cool, we're older, it's wisdom. Yeah. But you're like my age, man. Twenty-five,

she's beat. She's beat. She's beat. She's beat, man. I think about it. Okay, so when you were 35, What would you have told yourself? This is 2018. So right before COVID, I was like, live life to your fullest, spend your pension, go out and travel the world. And then I couldn't. So it was like the global lockdown.

I guess, you know, I don't really have a lot of advice for younger Pete. I always liked the dye that was cast. And I made do with what the results were. And so I feel like all of my decisions, good or bad, led me to today and like doing this. which is awesome. So I wouldn't have changed the damn thing. Not a single fucking thing. What about did you, what are you hit? Like,

what? It's my wife. It's my wife and kid. God, can I please just let me go? Well, you have two kids now. I've won. I just had a son. You had a son. Three months. Oh my God, congratulations. Thank you. So, um, I mean, sure, I have regrets. But I genuinely believe

those things tempered me into like this mess. So if you ran over a dog when you were 20, Yeah. You got to run with that. You got to go back here. This time we back up. I hide the evidence. It's a little better.

You think these hands are clean? These are dirty hands. But it's like, I guess the one thing I would have done is I would have probably, I mean, gosh, it's so hard to choose. I don't know if the acting degree was where it's at. Oh. So I'm a really good waiter. Like I'm the best. I don't forget orders.

I like, I remember faces. that was probably a minor I should have chosen and then the major would have been something more interesting. What is the biggest role that you ever got? So it wasn't the role

but the greatest success I ever had was there was a college acting competition and this story's already lost steam but trust me it's like a cool thing in college and there's like eight different regions that people compete in

and I was in Region 5 which is the middle and the most competitive because we just have too many people and the winner of that gets to go to the Kennedy Center in Washington and perform on that stage their selected pieces.

In front of the president, Bill Clinton at the time. And he actually had. It was very close. Welcome to how it feels to get to do this, man. It was George W. Bush. First term. First term.

Now watch this drive. It was great. You ever made me perform for Watch this Drive, Bush. That's amazing. It was like 9-11 pitch and my performance Kennedy Center. They're both really impressive.

But we lost every. year, except for my loss. No, I did. I lost four in a row, but on the final, like, because you only get selected because an adjudicator watches the college theater productions, they choose one actor to go to perform in the regionals. And on my last year, I was like, you know what, I'm just going to write, I'm going to write my own with this teacher of mine, and we're going to come up with this great scene. And not only did we win the regional contest. It was the first from my school and, like, it's history. I got to go to the Kennedy Center. I got to perform on the stage

and it was an awesome, awesome experience that I think was the peak of acting and then the yard would be two and trash taste there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is it, that's the big throw. George Bush at the Kennedy Center just dropping a tab of acid

before you do your performance. Like, oh boy, it's going to be crazy. Mission accomplished. It was some crazy scenes. So wait, do people usually do like Shakespeare scenes from movies or something like that? Yeah, not movies. That's kind of discouraged, right?

I see. might lead to imitation of like you saw like how can i be anton sugar i see but it's just going to look like him oh yeah you ready uh keep it that's your unlucky water that was that was on george bush what was that oh come on don't be a car that was a that was a mixture of your hannibal lector no i thought that was fine right yeah don't forget a water keep it that's not that bad i think it's fine that's how he sounds are you talking about Anton Chigur? I thought he was just more monotone, right? No, but he's kind of got

like the Javier Bardium like accent. I thought he was like, call it. You know, like, yeah. As your lucky water. Why did I even, he should have been nominated out, but honestly. No, but normally. I know he won this acting competition in college, but check this out.

Can I see your wine again from no country football? Back then, all the actors were plumbers. It was a much easier. Much easier competition. So my theory, it's not even a theory, but back in the 70s, 80s, we were much more willing to put bald people as lead roles. Jack Nicholson has been bald for a long time. Samuel Jackson. Well, different. But, whoa, this is black? Yeah. He's the best of the actors that I mention. White people. White people look amazing bald all the time.

Like, MJ kind of ran that one and he was like, I got this. But white people like, you know, it's a nerf. And, but we were willing to put Jack Nicholson. This is definitely a nerf. This is definitely a nerve for black people, too. I mean, sure. I guess if you look at LeBron James, which I'm trying to hide it. That's exactly who I'm thinking of all that's Baldi. Isn't it just how you rock?

Because if you're Jason Statham, I don't think he looks bad. No, well, I think it's like, you have to make the choice. Ball ding and keeping like the friar talk or like any sort of comb over. Jason Alexander. That's committing to like,

you're wish-washy. But if you're like, I'm going to just shave it, that gives you the power back. You won't get the promotions and stuff. But you also need an awesome body. You don't give me. Oh, yeah, you do need that. You don't get to be president if you're bald.

You need a rock and bond. Did LeBron go to Turkey? I think he just... I think he's done transplants. Yeah? It wasn't Turkey. No way. I feel like at one point, like everyone, we always talked about it and we were like,

wow, it probably comes off with the headband. But now I don't see people talking about it. Well, no one goes to Turkey who are really rich. They go like London or so. Or just... They go to L.A. Yeah. Wait.

Oh, because Turkey's the discount way to do it. Yes. And they fly you out. Yes. They pick you up at the airport. Yeah. There's like a whole package. Oh, really?

Yeah, like, it's like, they fly you, there's like a hotel. It's like, uh, hairlines type of thing. Dude, they should do, hair lines. That's so bad. That would have won you second place easily. My gosh. They should do like a lottery where like, uh, the flight is free, but you don't know what country you're getting your surgery in. Oh, I like that.

Yeah. Japan was doing this. Not for hair transplants, but for just flights. They're just doing a lottery on where you go. Oh, you just run it? Yeah, they're like, fuck, fellow ruse. I'm not coming back. All of them are just,

war-torn, Russia. It's like, yeah. Double tree Israel, huh? Do I have to go? So wait, okay, back up. Yeah, yeah, sorry. What do you do?

That is a great question. He sounds like my wife now, but... Who are you? So, I was making a joke earlier that. Ludwig, like, because we were saying you took the train here to like the downtown or something. I was like, Ludwig's fucking with a dude who takes the train, which is not, that's not common for him, because he doesn't fuck with poor people.

Ludwig or me? No, Ludwig. I fuck with poor people heavy. I hang out with Nick Yingling more than most people. You shouldn't say he's poor. I keep him born down. That only reflects poorly on you. Yes, I pay him very poorly.

And I will continue to do so. He's poor by your control. Yes. Why do you think he comes on and say, can I get a 50K raise? Because he's making 10K. Yeah. I want to eat. 25K a year.

Yeah. Full time. Yeah, who is Pete? Well, it's a very good question. But the long and short of it was I got my acting degree and I was like okay this is not working so I went to Japan and I was an English teacher for a decade

so I climbed the rungs of teaching in Japan. To about the highest you can get that was fun. Can you tell him to stop fucking saying Shogunai? No actually I feel like he's really tapped into Japanese culture when he says he's perfectly using it each time Shogunai. Wabi Sabi

that's really offensive that I don't like when you say that Thank you. Finally, someone with authority can help you. Yeah, great. Now I'm going to get canceled again. But I felt that going into Twitch is like, I was interested in it

and I met this guy I brought in Japan, who's a Japan blogger of sorts, kind of tells people where to go. He's like the authority on visiting the country, I think. For white people, I would say. Yeah, for sure. Like, I don't think the Japanese people are like, where do I got to go? Yeah, well, yeah, of course. I don't think abroad in Japan. I don't think the Japanese people are

visiting Japan. I think they're living there. They reside. But the local tourism is huge there. Yeah, but like domestic tourism, I mean. Sure. Well, I was, I was drinking at a bar and he came in, and this was like 20, before COVID, it's like 2017 or something like that. And I was the only guy in there. And I said, I didn't know who he was. I was like, hey, come out with me. And he goes, oh God, are you one of my many fans? And I was like, not right now. I don't even know who you are. And he hates when I tell us, because he says I'm embellishing, but I'm not. He gave me his business card. You know this is true, Chris. And it says, YouTube subscribers

250K plus plus That's nasty word We gotta do that Plus plus is awesome We got to lump in his number I'm intermaring Chris In like three weeks I can't wait to bring this out

I'll tell you what I'll send you I still have the business card I'll send you a photo of it And it's And it was great We became friends And I was doing television For like the BBC of Japan

Called in HK And they put me on this show which was very poorly titled, Cool Japan with a bunch of not cool people like me. It's great, awesome show, I love that. It's theory was, so Pete, what is cool? I'm so racist. Wait, was that the host?

I'm Japanese. That's his European DJ. That's the European DJ, which we do very much. Who is still the host of Cool Japan. I actually feel like that's fitting. So I was doing the show. The premise is actually kind of neat. They get eight people from different countries,

and three of them go to different locations on today's topic. It might be a location or food or a craft and I get to experience them as somebody who's unaware of what I'm about to see. Then I take my experiences back to the show and they say like, today's theme is chopstick etiquette and Peter went to the chopsticks master to learn about culture.

Let's see how he did. They're making YouTube videos. Yeah. Before, like it was before, they've been doing this for like 25 years. Yeah. And then we say like the guy, from, you can be from Jamaica, I'll let you do it. Like, the guy from Jamaica,

they'd be like, we don't use chopsticks in Jamaica. Like, I don't know. I don't have chopsticks in Jamaica. I'm a second generation. Okay. They would say, we don't use this here. This is how we have it in our culture. And they'd say, like, do you think in America

are chopsticks cool? And I'd say, you know, nowadays, more people eat sushi and they're getting used to it. But when I grew up with, you know, Bush-based, I don't know. I didn't even follow up when I grew up it was kind of like

kind of confusing or you got like a fork or spoon or whatever but then I did about 100 of those shows so when he's flexing his YouTube

I was like oh well you know I'm on the PBS of Japan too buddy I'm on TV bro we became friends and years later

he said let's do a video together where we go to the northern most point in Japan and I had been on the Twitch grind for like nine months and I had about 20,

five viewers, which was, you know, I was still working full-time as a teacher. But when Chris's video came out, he really helped me get like the motion necessary to eventually have to make a choice. I just got permanent residency. I just got this promotion. What do I do? Twitch or stay with English teaching. And my wife was like, you should definitely stay with teaching. You should be a teacher. It's safe. And I was like, no, we're going to run it. Let's do it. And I just, please subscribe. This is really dire. They're helping me as friends.

I really need to stick it to my wife. I have a son, okay? So, but it was an awesome experience, and I've been doing that for about five years. So I started Twitch at like 37. Was there an overlap? Never too late. Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

37 is kind of, that's like, you're under George Clooney. It's very much so. And I see a lot of people ask me for like, well, you know, I'm not having success with. it. And I say you should be friends with Sea Dog. He helped me out a lot. I think a low-key thing that gets often misunderstood is it might just not be the time for you to do this. Like, I don't think I would have been nearly as skilled or successful or interested in it if I didn't have the other experiences for like 15 years first. So when it, when Twitch did happen, I felt like

these are the things I want to do with it. And that was a big difference. Tell that the lacy bitch. Yeah. Well, those guys. It's funny. I don't understand it fully. Like, they use the word, bro, like, every eight words. And I don't think I've ever said it unless it's like two of my brother or something like that. But, like, I think what they're doing is Uber talented

and it's in a different age of streaming and stuff. But it's definitely not for me. Like, I can't run with that and do trampoline stuff or whatever they're doing on subatons. But I think it's in good hands with the younger generation. Well, with Lacey, I mean, anything. Yeah, I think it's like I because I'm I did a meeting agree I went to TwitchCon and like You know a bunch of people always ask like the two things people say is I love to tip or I watch your video on how to become a streamer

And and so like a bunch of people ask for advice and I feel like the one thing is like if you start streaming or you want to stream super young You just drain your balls too early because you don't have a life experience You got nothing going on you think you think that you think the young ones are draining their balls Yeah, they don't have enough in their balls, Nick, and so they're drained quicker. As opposed to Pete, these things are like full bombs. Just overripe.

Well, you waited for the balls to fill. I did. Bore nuts. I was actually told this. I got a call with a guy who wrote some show. It was through my old job, and it's like, hey, this guy's a writer, and you want to be a writer.

My boss helped me out. Anyway, I called this guy, and I'm 26 at the time. I was like, what advice do you have to, like, write for a fuck, what was the show? It was some terrible job. shit. But he was like a successful writer and he was like in his

40s and he was like, you know what? Just don't try it right now. Just go do stuff. Just go like, just go be a person and go travel and like live your life. And I was like, this is fucking annoying to hear. What if I want a job instead? What if I want to do that thing right now that you're doing? I actually think

I agree. I do think that like when you want something doesn't necessarily align with when you're like best suited to do it. Yeah. When I was in my first year of college I was like 19 years old, I was in first semester and I took a broadcasting class that was taught by a local weatherman station, Joel Nichols, awesome guy. And I really remember this teacher. And one day we had a representative from the local station of like today's top 40 music come in to give some advice. And his advice was

once you get your foot in the door, never take it out. Like just keep trying to push it in. And I said like, hey, well, hey, wait, before you leave, man, I feel like this is my foot in the door now. I want to come see the studio. I want to go look at it. He's like, sorry, I'm busy. He was like, no, he was like, come by on Thursday, you can take a look at what we do. So I went in there, and I watched them do just awful schlock for like four hours. But at the very, very end, they were like, we've gotten this, this young kid, and they were like, here's the microphone. And at the very end of the show, I made like some joke, and they all laughed. And I said, that was really cool.

And they said, why don't you come back as an intern every Tuesday and Thursday? And you can, like, learn it. And we'll give you, like, a full hour of the pre-show at, like, 5 a.m. I worked for them for a year and it was absolutely horrible like I should I was not ready for this moment they just I was their punching bag I was called Kramer because of Seinfeld

with like the wild hair and they shat on you all the time I spoke on like and I was the call guy to go is he 95.7 this is Kramer and they'd be like yeah you know they just say slurs or whatever to me can I request you know this or that's crazy

like listeners listeners would call in and so they're roasting me You basically... Kramer a piece of my fucking mind. He meant Twitch chat before... I meant Twitchad existed. Way before.

And every time I had like an anecdote or a thing, the host would play this Al Pacino quote from Glenn Gary, Glenn Ross, which was a great movie. Every time I spoke, he'd go, it'd play and he goes, you ferry, you company man! And he was, that was it. Like, I could not speak without being called gamers of that. Dude.

And Glenn Gary and Ross soundboard is crazy. It was so... Shit used to be awesome. Okay, I have always said this That I've in a bygone era I would have loved to be a radio DJ You would be good at it But it's like a dead

It's just streaming It is just streaming But it's not It literally is just streaming Maybe that's why I'm a ghost streamer Yeah, maybe well You're not the ghost streamer You see my Diana 22 and fucking two

You see what I do bro I get my death cap very fast Yeah you do anyway But yeah It is weird Because I would argue Sometimes you are ready. Like, you told the joke in that moment to get the opportunity,

but then you ended up in this weird, like, awful, vicious hell, which is like BL, right? That's just bad luck. It is, but I think that, like, a lot of that stuff I just needed to go through. And, like, it sucked, and I learned a lot. And, like, the city turned against me when I was fired. Like, they, like, my mom got calls at her dentist office. What?

Yeah, I got fired so they could go to Vegas to see Britney Spears. which was a thing, but we needed a fun, like, joke to get out of it for them. So they said, can we, because I was not on just an intern, I was like full-time. This is pre-headshade, Britney Spears. This might have been 2004, 2003. This is pre-headshed, this is toxic Britney Spears, if it's 2004. Okay, so they said we've got this great gag, where we will, we will say that you're going to be on the air and you're going to say, we know, we're going to make fun of you about

being a fairy and a company man, and you're like, I'm going to say, I've had enough, I've had enough of this, I quit. And we had, and then so I said, yeah, that's cool, but why don't we just do like, hey, Pete, good luck, Kramer on your future endeavors, we'll be cheering. And they were like, no, this is funnier, this is going to be great. Dude, that's crazy. So we did the skit. And my email of Kramer at Z95.7 had like zero emails for like, and unless they were trying to say like, hey, I want to talk to the host, you know, she's hot or something. Or kill yourself, Kramer. I didn't even get that yet. Why did you, why would you say that at the laugh factory? so I got hundreds of emails as soon as this segment went and I they were they were just these people gave you an opportunity a lot of people would be killing to be in your position oh my god and one guy was like I will fucking kill you meet me on the streets of truce and he

was like I'm a Marine I'm not fucking around and I my mom it would be a Marine dumb as fucking bricks not getting it bro listening to the radio just on the way to the VA to get a schizophrenia medicine like I'm I got to kill this guy. I just can't believe he's throwing this away. This guy put his job today? I'm going to kill him. I'm going to kill this guy.

Luckily for me, my acting coach was listening at the time. And I remember, we saw a segment to go back on the air. And I wanted to back out. I was like, I'm done. I'm not doing it. And I remember, and I'm sorry, if you've already heard this story. I've told it before on like a stream before. But like, he called in and he wasn't live.

But they put it, they have them on speaker. And he was like, first he got in through to like, he lied. And then he was, they were like, yeah, what's up, man? How you doing? He was like, yeah. I just want you know, you guys are a bunch of fucking losers picking on this kid who's done nothing but good work for you for like a year.

Yeah, he's ugly and dumb, but he worked hard. I was like, he doesn't know I can hear this. And he suck up for me really bad. And I'd lost like all my voice. I could not say a thing. I was so nervous. My mouth was so dry. And I remember they were like,

okay, we're going live in like two seconds. And I was like, I'm not doing it. And then they like did some dumb symbolic thing where they moved the mic and they're like, don't know if I can trust you. I was like, Wow. So I quit,

and then my mom got some calls at the dentist office, which they listened to, and she called me like, why did you quit like that? That's weird. And I was like, no, it was a gag.

That wasn't funny. You know what? This is a testament to your acting skill. Oh, good. I guess so. Why? Because it was convincing.

No one knew it was a bit. Oh, yeah. Well, I mean, it's not hard to be picked on for a year and then lash out. Try four years and try being named Aiden. One day all snap. Yeah, one day.

And the interesting thing is, I don't know when either. The Aden, he quit episode. Wait, it's just us and we're all fucking dead with bolts in our heads. And he does another fucking solo episode. He doesn't cry this time. Still talking to us. The last episode before I moved to Sweden will be me murdering you guys on set and then me doing a weekend at Bernie's episode.

We're just three bodies, bodies. Just gnawing on my arm. All right, guys, that's the yard. I think my favorite fan edit of anything we've ever done is this edit of, it's a YouTube video called The Yard, but Nick is making it all up. And it's just a, it's just they edit it out. Like, we have, we have video that exists of these chairs all empty. They made these three empty, but they kept me. And then it's like everything I'm saying in the episode, but then like wides of no one there.

That's great. It's just like four minutes of that. It's like the best thing we've, we've had been. Well, I've got some tough competition then. So where are you from? Kansas City. Kansas City, Missouri. Midwest. Do you know Brawl Pro?

Is that like a lethal shooter or something like that? No, he's a Tekken player. I don't. What is the age difference? Between Brawl Pro and him? A year. He's 41? He's 41. What?

I mean, like, Tekken's not, I'm a street fighter disciple myself. And so I like the FTC a lot, but Tekken's never really been my... You play Street Fighter? I'm not well, but I mean, I've always played it since the arcade days. And so... And I love Evo. I'm in like, Evo Moment 37. I was like, that was actually new

when I watched it. So it was like You downloaded that. I did and I got Bill Clinton instead. He goes I did not have sexual relations with that woman. I was like, there goes my porn. I was hoping that was. He mistitled that. You downloaded something at six KBPS a fucking second and you're like, I hope it's porn.

And it's like, I got a week and it's Bill Clinton every time. But yeah. Sorry, I didn't even interrupt you. No, I was going to say, I think you're the most accomplished gamer I know. Well, I'm just the oldest. Maybe, but like you've also kept with it and I think you just like play... Wait, most accomplished how? Like in the sense of like

the most well-rounded, like the most I guess of the word gamer he's the most cultured gamer? Yes, yes, yes. What are you talking about? I think he's actually, this might be the first time he's been actually right, like 100%. You've played a lot of games. I mean, I was lucky. I grew up when

the Commodore 64 and the Atari were like right at their peak. These are friends of yours? Yeah, they're good friends. That's their hands. The Commodore, what is it in the Army? Well, you know, he was released. But then we had the Nintendo came out when I was four. And I've been with that systems. The Bit Wars, all of the PlayStation are in 64.

Oh, NES. All of the stuff. Yeah, so all of it was... They called it the Nintendo. Yeah. Yeah. Every system was a Nintendo to your parents. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Weren't the 90s crazy? They were the best, man. They were the best. Dude, we were fucking crazy. I remember them, bro. I remember them, bro. I was there. Dude, remember it when I fucking poop myself?

Yeah. And you didn't know what to say? I couldn't talk. Yeah. I remember I was trying to say, oh, I was like, oh, I was fucking crazy in the 90s thing. Yeah, bro. You were an, I've seen Island, bro. You were fucking at two.

Yes. That's where I was. And you were low ELO, man. No one was asking you for dances or... Yeah, because I couldn't walk. I could, I was learning to walk. Do you know Itabashi Zenghi Fiz? Yeah, he's great.

Yeah, yeah. He's awesome. He's like 47 or something. Awesome. and streetfighter? It's his tag. Yeah. It's Ida Bashi Zanga. But he's, I think he's, I don't think he's 47, but he's in his 40s and he's very good, and it gives us all hope. Do you know, Tasty Steve? Yeah. I've never met him before, but he's a commentator on FGC and Evo and stuff. Yeah. And I was outside the hotel last night in San Diego, and I saw him there.

And I really don't want to bother people, but I was like, I'm so sorry, you're like one of the OGs. Wednesday night fights, Alex Valle, you guys, you guys were like the best. And I was wearing this sweater. And he was like, damn, that's a nice sweater. And I was like, fuck it, this sucks. He got, like, Ludwig got complimented. That's awesome. He was from St. Louis. Oh, is he around? I didn't know that, but you could have.

It was crazy. You said Alex Weye, because I have him on Facebook and he, not a lot of, I would say not a lot of people my age are still posted on Facebook. So when I occasionally log in, most of my feed is Alex Valle and his family.

That's awesome, though. And he's just one of the best. just him hanging out with his kids, like, oh, look at this crazy thing. We're at Disney today. And I'm like, God, Alex is going to a while. Does that night fight still happen? No, right? It's been gone for a while. There might be a local somewhere, but probably not in the same spirit. Is it the same one that we went to?

Yes. Yeah. Yeah, there was a melee side event there. It was a night fight so that mostly Orange County would farm, squid. Yeah, I would go every single Wednesday and get absolutely clobbered. But yeah. You want to bring back Facebook? Yeah, yes, yes, yes.

I would love to get back on that bitch. I want to get like a Facebook group. Like, you know, you make groups? Like a group chat. Not a group chat, like the group, you have like a group, like the, the, just, oh, yeah, yeah. The Claremont shit posters guild. Yeah, the Claremont shit posters guild, classic raw, so-cowal activities where our schizophrenic friend would post and we all just kind of watch.

He was cool, man. He showed up to the house with a gun once. Yeah, that was crazy. That wasn't fun. That was crazy. We thought he was going to kill us. He looked like he wanted to. He did.

We made up a guy that he was mad at and he thought he was. was at our house. I'm not kidding. You remember that? That's what happened. And he's ready to kill that man. He's ready to kill. Which one of y'all is Connor Cox?

Yeah, you know, Connor Cox. We're Connor Cox. He's not real. But he's great now. He sells water. Oh, well. In this economy, it's probably a decent job. Yeah, he's had like water purifier.

No, it's Cangen Water. It's the famous pyramid scheme where it's a machine that can shrink the molecules of water so that you absorb more of it. W. Yeah. And the last time I talked to me

said Bitcoin was invented by God. Which I guess everything is. We don't know the inventor. Yeah, what's his name? Satoshi Nakamoto. Yeah, that's right. Jogany.

Jokanai, man. Yeah. Lobby, Sabi. What does that one mean? You go ahead and describe it. It's almost like, there's not a word for it. There's actually really not.

But it means like it's beauty in disfigurement. You kind of like make it work. You wouldn't get it, man. It's... Okay, so I'm just trying to learn. It's so exciting to be around you guys. Don't. Don't wistfully say it's Japanese. It is Japanese. It's like, it's like what do they use for umami flavor? Oh my god. I have beef with umami. I do too. It's fake. It's gotta be.

Fuck that. What is it? It's umami. I think it's salty. But it's like... Yeah, I think it's just like shit that tastes awesome. Yeah. MSG maybe. Yeah, I think it's just that. Yeah, they do use it for everything. I just taste awesome. Guys, you know how I've been getting into battle rap recently and I've been trying to go maybe try it for the first time. Yeah, you've been saying how you want to go big this time. Well, I went

and I just didn't tell you guys because I don't want anyone to know. I thought I used a pseudonym and they snatched my chain. And the event wasn't even real. It was just a Facebook group that led me to an ARCO and they snatched my chains. And the ARCO? And they called me a bitch.

You got set up? They got set up and I don't have any, now I don't have any bling or jewelry or fucking anything. Yeah, who said that's crazy. So many personal life probably. Tyler, do you know anything about me getting my chain snatched? No, I don't know shit. I know where you could find something new. I do know where you can find some new shit.

I got a lot of chains. Don't listen to Tyler. But everything is so exorbitantly expensive, and I don't know if I could buy it on another chain. Look, I think you need high quality male jewelry to replace what got snatched, and I think GLD can help you. It's called gold pussy. Don't ignore him. It's just called GLD. It's called GLD.com?

I'm getting Nick Yingling, a PSL chain. Yeah, and that PSL chain has, it's real gold in every piece, all the stones are meticulously handset, whatever your style, they got it, dude, and I know you got a weird style. The place I went, they had like 40 customers in there, and that was like a good seal of approval. I felt, does GLD have like a lot of customers? It has two million customers, and Tyler's one of them. I shop there all the time, so that. What do you buy from GLD Tyler? Jewelry. That's a stupid question. That's right, Tyler. For a limited time only new, customers are getting an insane deal. Use code Yard to get 50% off plus a free chain. So you're that kiddo? A free chain. All I got to do is me or I get my chain back? And you can't get it snatched this time because it's very, very embarrassing. It could still, well, he could

still get snatched. It's 50% off and a free chain with code yard at gldd.com. That's gldd.com use code yard. You know what? If you're a gangster, come get it. You know what? If you're a gangster crit, if you're if you're a gangster crit, if you're, if you're If you want Nick's... Come fucking get it this time. If you want... I mean it. And I'm gonna be ready this time.

Maybe put up like a Craigslist ad. Beep. GLD.com. Use code the yard. It's our set. And you can come fucking get it this time. Again. Let's go back to the episode where...

That's good. Because Tyler has checked out. You can just go to gldd.com. Use code the yard. Why did you move to Japan? Uh, well. I was in that first year of college and I was on a big Akira Kurosawa

Battle Royale just come out and I was like checking out all the classics in cinema Wait Akira Kurosawa made a movie called Battle Royale But Battle Royale's the original awesome Yeah, you've never seen this? It's so fucking good. You've never seen Battle Royale You of this group of people! Did it not coin the term?

Yeah, well, yeah and I got to meet one of the actors in it randomly at a bar like eight months ago But it's an old film? It's like from the night It came out in 2000? 2000, yeah. It's Japanese. Yeah, and it's amazing.

I'm gonna have a heart attack. Okay. I know when Chinese Battle Royale come down. Hunger Games is my shit. Yeah, I'm a Chinese guy now. So like, I was taking cinema, so I saw Battle Royale, loved it. And then went into the classics of Kurosawa, Akira, Mifunetoshito is the actor. I really liked these guys.

And I took a class and immediately failed it. Like, I am clinically dumb. And they, but in the class, as I was like doodling, whatever, they said, hey, there's somebody who needs a homestay, like, family. And I was like, shit, I can be playing streetfire with some Japanese dude, like 24-7, ended up just being a really hot girl who moved in with me and my mother.

So it was like, it was really cool, but not at all what I had. There's videos like this. But like, me and my friends couldn't believe it. They were like, well, dude, this is like, you're like, how did this happen? I was like, she needs a place to stay. We're not dating.

And they're like, but there's a hot girl upstairs. And I'm like, yeah, this is cool. It's hard to comprehend. I do like that's street right at that age. It's like being within 20 feet of a good woman. Let's go to a pizza house. There's a hot girl. We are.

We are talking to her or are a cat at all. Luckily, and I fully expected it to be like, no, I'm good. But we were really good friends. And she was so cool to my mom. And like they taught each other like cooking stuff. And eventually she said, and I had to drive her around like, you know, take her to school or pick her up or do all these things. And we became like really tight. And so she said, why don't you come to see my family in Yokohama?

It's only fair. And I thought, that's an amazing opportunity. So I went to visit her family. I stayed with them for like two weeks on like a New Year's and Christmas. It was unbelievable. It was like 2004, 2005. And I thought, I've got to move here when I graduated. And it took like six years.

When you felt the crisp water of that bidet for the first time. I've been trying to seek it ages now. You were probably drinking it. Yeah, but that, you know, she ended up moving back to America and moving there. and marrying like a dentist and I ended up moving to Japan and freaky Friday bro

you're so cute you still in touch with her on occasion you know so not as much anymore but like she'll my mom will still ask about her and I'm like mom it's been 10 years you know and for the longest time

it didn't matter who I was dating she'd be like house not is not scamming mom she doesn't live here like where she's gone so like but she would be what is your mom's you do this accent when she's not New York or Jewish Nothing?

No. It's just how you imagine her now. And that's how I hear it. That's cool. But like, she doesn't talk like that. But she has a great laugh that I use that as like an anchor sound. And that's, she just sounds like that. She's a sweet woman.

She talks like Edna Mode in the way you talk like. Last time I talked to her was on the RV trip. Oh, she called and she had taken four edibles. Yeah. That's what I remember. Yeah. Damn. Your mom wears tie-dye.

She's born in 1950. She invented tie-dye, I think At Woodstock or something Damn, your mom's old as hell She is, she's cool as hell though I get it, yeah, yeah And I like, what? It's not nice to say

It's just true It's because when you're an older guy like us Oh my parents are dead They didn't make it They didn't make it You know, and when your parents do make it You're like damn, you're old as hell And you're still my mom

But you don't get that shit Yep I don't get that shit No Because I don't see age Would your mom and his mom get along? would my mom's pretty chill my mom gets along with everybody yeah my mom's on Zoloft she gets along with anybody too she's on Zoloft one of them I can talk to her about that I don't think she's like

down to talk about it I'll call her yeah I'll call her and I'll say you're on Zoloff I know that I don't know you're on Zoloft is I know you're on Zoloft is I know you're like a nice way to this is what I know about you and I'm not lying come on bro she ranks the yard She gave me a hug, and it was not a three hug. It was at least two. His mom gives mom hugs. His mom? Yes.

Oh, yeah. They're very, they're very mom hug. She's trying to check how hungry you are. She's like, you need food? Yes. Oh, she's so sweet. I never met her, yeah, but you'll meet her. It'll come up.

Maybe she'll come to Japan sometime. That'd be awesome. Wait, are you one? I'm, no, I'm not on the list, bro. I'm not compared. Wait, who are. I'm out of the last. Y' all three, you are three.

We all know who's one. It's not you. Of course it's me I promise you It's not you I promise you It's not you're one It's slime

It's Anthony Yes of course it's Anthony Who has said Who there is video footage Of him calling her a horse No don't stop her in that back up Well I said she was hoofed And I apologize for it

And also my mom's dead So she feels a responsibility To be a mom to me This is all really true You're a little duckling I'm the little duckling So kill yourself He's a little duckling

And so holidays will come around And she'll ask what he's doing And I'm like I don't know Getting Chinese with Viseet or something. He's probably fine. Oh, I don't even know who my mom's favorite is. It's me.

No. On God. I don't think so. It probably is. I don't think she understands you. I wish she would. It's a rip. It's probably,

yeah, you've been, you've been in a long time. Yeah, a long time. Wait, long enough to have your permanent residency.

So that's 10 years? I've been there 15 years almost this April. Wow. Did you have to give up your American? I want to so badly. Like I'm trying. It's a bad idea, though,

to renounce your city. It's like you're just limiting your office. options. No, I'm good, man. I'm out. I'm out. So, well, there's a couple things. Only America double taxes, and it's really annoying. And even just, and there's a thing called the F bar. This is the part

where you can fast forward 45 seconds. I'm talking about taxes. No, this is sick. I want this. Any bank account that has at least $10,000 at any point in the year in savings, it's subject to, you have to file it every year or get fined, and it can be taxed. And they have a treaty with the Japan where it's like, after a certain amount,

you will be also charged income tax. There's only one of two countries in the world, that does it. And the main reason is, I don't make that much to be worried about it, but I have to file it really carefully. But the main thing is like 15 years, man, I'd rather vote in my local, you know, municipal area. I'd rather, um, they have like a better passport than America, loki, they do. It's like ranked number one. And I, I feel like, I don't know that. Why would I stay as American when all of my, my family, my son, it's all in Japan now. And I, that's why I'm going to be. If you renounce it,

would be hard for your son to get citizenship I imagine. No, we're good. So if I, as long is, we have to go there within the next three months and I register him and he has until the age of 18 to decide where he wants his citizenship to be. Oh, and then he can choose, and then you can renounce after doing that. I can renounce the minute after he gets American citizenship. Maybe a dumb question.

What is your plan? Are you teaching English and Japanese to him equally? I'm not doing shit, man. I'm here in the yard. My wife's doing all of it. No, so, yeah. Um, my, the plan is, uh, because I taught English for a long time, so I know the perils of how hard it is for half, um, like half wide or half European or half English speaking, half French speaking. Halfoo, right. And it can be really, it can be really tough. Nice guess. That's what they call them. Um, well, it's offensive terms. Is it? A hafoo. Like, if you're like, yeah, if you said it like that, yeah. Well, if you were, if you're like, he's not adding much. Yeah. Yeah. What's up, Salam? To be clear, we trust him so much more than you. Yeah, Peter, I got this one. Yeah, okay, go ahead, man.

Halfu this. You keep saying it. Are you asking me if I'm half? Hafu. Magica. But to answer your question, we're going to be using as much English as possible at home. Like, as much as possible. Kind of like how some people, when they move to America, their grandmother would be like German.

You could only speak German to them, so they had like that memory of it. I know he's going to learn Japanese. Like, for sure. Yeah, I mean, how would you not? And everyone's, he's going to want to. to speak that all the time. So it's going to be on my poor wife and I, not me, it's easy for me, but for her really try to lock in and express as much as possible in English so that he can feel comfortable using that. Whoa. You're just going to learn it so free. Like I'm not even

worried for him. It's pretty exciting though. I learned French and like I had a bullshit amount of French in my upbringing. Everyone says you speak the amount of French a fifth grader knows. Yeah, that's really good. No, no, fifth is generous. Oh, I'm sorry. No, it's fine. Fifth is not generous. you don't, don't time in. We thought to your sister about it. She agreed. Yeah, your sister agreed. She's basically a baby and then she's like one year older of a baby than you are. She's being humble, we both speak very good.

I'm going viral on French Twitter, bro. You don't do that if you're a second grader. Are you? You weren't even viral. You weren't even viral in a group of French people at the race. Okay. You were, you were chopped. There I say. No one in his life can talk to him like this except us. It's like checks and balances. He needs to hear this.

But he ignores it all the time. So we have to Dude, our podcast clip has a million views on French Twitter. Magica. Wait, which one? Just us doing the pod. What? Really? Yes, I'm viral on French Twitter.

We are viral. We're viral. It could be there. Right. Wait, does the clip ever cut away from you? Huh? Does the clip ever cut away from you? Yeah, yeah.

Do I get shown? Yeah. I'm viral in friends. Is slime on there? Guys, yeah, you're all fucking viral in French. I'm just saying I'm viral in France. Viral in France. What is this?

Your mother? Let's go. Let's go. Can you do it? But yeah, there you go. I'm not going violent in France anytime soon. But have you played Boko No, but I know it's like the boys vacation day. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's cool.

But if playing one game for the rest of your life could be your job, but you couldn't play anything else, what's that game? What are you choosing? Well, so this is, I always get asked like to rank games. And it's so hard now because I go by like console generation. But if I'm going with like all time played amount of hours, I want something that's replayable infinitely, right? Yeah.

So it's got to be either like an FPS. like CSGO or Team Fortress 2 or you go like Diablo 2 with its never ending like I could grind that game forever but you would love Diablo 2 it was great slime tells me that a lot

or like an MMO of some sort but I think I'm gonna go with Diablo 2 or just like some fucking lame JRP shit that Like what 7? No it's too that's too like Too easy it's too easy man okay then what Again so sweet codens my jam so that game's so sick What is that? It's a really good

RPG that no one luckily I mean they should play it more but it was just but like I like that or Secret of Monkey Islands one of my OG favorites. The point and click games. You're play Zenogears? Of course man any RPG before 2011 I've literally played them all. It's not for you to challenge that Peter I'm just telling you I love you I'm gonna have Pete on and then I was telling them

I was like we're gonna have Pete on and then so I was like who's that? I don't blame him because that's what he says about everyone and I go to be clear he did this to Mr. Bass I don't know what I don't expect anyone to know me. When I go to like conventions, like even on this one, I get gifted so much stuff. And at first, the first time I was like, oh, this is awesome. They're all addressed to Connor and Chris and Lud. Like, I, he gets lumped in there. Someone went to me, they're like,

hey, when's the next time you're seeing Connor? I was like, I don't know, eight months. Like, can I give you this to give to him? And I was like, no. No, I'm not going to, I'm just going going to lose it. I'll be honest with you. But I get it because those guys have huge presence. but I've always felt that the thing missing from streaming that isn't celebrated as much I think it's totally okay to be like the best supporting actor

in a major motion picture and if I can help my friends who are doing cool shit with or without me if I can elevate it even just a little bit that's been like the best for me Jesse Plymonds yeah like exactly

just consistently given his best efforts or Will Lutz I'm a little bit better than that no I'm kidding he's good but like that's a good way of putting it though that's actually how I feel is coming up living together and even us doing this show I'm like I'm a great I'm a great role

player and I'm happy with it so we just I mean like sometimes it's just it's necessary to understand that and to live within those bounds has been very fruitful for me and my family because it's more fun I get to see these guys succeed and I'm way older than all of you guys except for you but I still feel like they're my big brother so like when I got like this sweater it's like like my older brother put like a hat on me was like, you're gonna do great things. Don't let him have that. Don't, I mean, for example, but yeah. Why not? Because you're not older. You're younger and stupider.

But I'm wise. But you're not wise. He's my favorite French streamer. You know why he's not wise? It's because you ask him something about the one thing that he knows probably the most about anything, which is YouTube. And he goes, I don't know. Is that not the wisest thing to admit what you don't know? You don't even attempt to. It just depends how much. If you only ever say, I don't know, then that's not really. Should the Shifu Master pretend what he knows?

So you know nothing. You know as much as I do. Does the rock tell you where the sun is when it sets? Does the moon kiss the sun on the lips when it's sleeping? What the fuck does that one mean? That's actually Shakespeare. I like that. Thank you. Yes. Is it a real? Oh, whoa. Look at this.

Viral, bro. Make attention. At you two. So anyway, you guys don't understand us. You can pause it. Yeah, what are you saying to this guy? I said, I said, watch out. both of you and he said me too and I said yeah he's like why

and I was like because I could kill you my car and he said feed the putte yeah oh you look oh damn that's a weird maybe that's why you went viral yeah my yoga pose

yeah what can I say you're viral bro I'm viral in France y'all and I'm about to be viral in China in China when I go to do Road to Empress damn that's that's awesome

you're doing great Yeah, everyone's proud of you, sweetie. Well, I'm just, I'm leaving this orbit, all right? I saw, you know, American streaming and I can't, I can't. No, because if this is true, you'd learn Spanish. No, no, no, no, because that market's already saturated. Oh. That's how you feel about the Spanish?

Is it? That market saturated. The white guy in China who speaks perfect Mandarin? That's not saturated yet. That's not saturated. There's a lot of open positions on argue. They're still shocked as fuck in those videos. Yes.

There's no thinking about it. Like, laying a night just awake, like, I can't believe he ordered it in flawless. I don't know what to say, man. Chill, chunk. Do you get that when you speak Japanese still? I'm assuming you do. No, I think that in Tokyo,

when I lived in the countryside, you know, there was some enthusiasm for my ability. But my favorite way to communicate, because I'm not actually that good. It's quite embarrassing. But I get by, but, like, I should be ashamed. But there's a really cool concept when you go to bars or Izakaya,

in Japan. And the word for drink is... Nogu. Okay, and the word... What did you say? Macju. Oh, that's not in Japanese. It's Korean.

It's Korean. It's Korean for a beer. All right. We're killing it. Let's go viral in South Korea, baby. So, no mood is to drink and communication. They combine the two words and call it no munication. So a lot of Japanese people are obviously taunt English,

but they're really shy to use it in a lot of cases. So you go to the Izakaya. you have a few pops and then everybody's kind of communicating you unlock all the things you've been studying that's where i excel is in communication every time i've drank with you you start whipping out like an announcer character for the wwee of japan and it makes the japanese patrons go wild i do you do it can you do it let me think so i i will say like this is it where i go like kuh no tema kordidis yes yeah everyone gets the reference and they're like plus two And then I'm there like, what are you doing?

You do some like Iron Chef intro. That's what it is. Oh, it is Iron Chef. So I love that show. So I have the entire intro almost memorized in English. They're Japanese. But the guy who plays is this guy named Chairman Kaga. And on the old Japanese one.

And I found it so fascinating when I was in high school when it played. His was the only character they put subtitles for. Because everybody else was dubbed in English. But they kept his because his way of speaking is so theatrical. that I, I, uh, oh, kiddakshu de um, kaikai kuhazai, Zaya,

they love that shit. I'm telling you. I love that shit. It takes down in Izakaya. Like, free drinks start rolling in. Let's go. But what I said there was, let's get a

huge round of applause for the yard. And so like, so, and then up, but nobody clabs, so it's fucking faded. Dude, that's crazy. You didn't know that shit? Bro, I'm Chinese, no. I don't focus. this Japanese shit. It's fun.

Yeah, yeah, bro. I learn a lot of, and I learn a lot of the fun phrases that are like really, really rare that are guaranteed. Like, if they say, your Japanese is so good, I hit him with my absolute cheat code.

Don't steal it's mine. I always say, like, ah, see what I'ma-Nay-Nay. And Fugay-Ni is like a really rare word. Like, nobody knows it, but it means feckless and worthless and useless. I learned that on my first year.

We were playing pickup basketball and like some gym. every time I got the ball, the dude would take a step back and go, Fagai Nye, Fagai Nye. And I thought he was saying, fun guy, nah, or whatever. And so I was like dribbling, I'm like, damn. They're saying let him shoot, bro. Yeah, they were like, he's feckless and pathetic. And so I was talking to my friend. I was like, damn, I'm getting kind of popular with this team. And he was like, oh, yeah, they were calling you Fagai Nye. And I was like, yeah, I know, I'm pretty tight.

And he was like, no, look at the kanji. It means like, and I looked it up. And I was like, damn, that's, that's actually insane. I got to keep that. People are so mean. I was like, yeah. I was like, look. But it's six with you forever. Oh, I never forgot that. And I love to use that because Japanese people will be like, it'll kind of break down a little bit of the, you know, hierarchical relationship stuff. And we're having fun. He's saying, for Guy, we're killing it.

So it's great. Why are people so cruel to you historically? I think that it's a positive. This is my coping mechanism. Yeah, we all tell ourselves that. I know. But I should. Shut up, Aiden.

Our guest is talking. could you actually please shut up for like five minutes? I think that I've always been very like self-deprecating my humor style before it was like the office or whatever and I think that people feel comfortable doing that to me because I can usually turn it back into something fun. I can I can roll with it and I don't take offense to it but yeah and I think Twitch is as a natural thing that people do now on that and I don't know if it's really good for everybody. You can't let them do it.

Is that the chat culture you have? No, not really. I think his chat loves him because his chat, like, I think because you lean into, you know, as you say, being the supporting character, like, people like seeing you on the streamer they might watch. Like, whether it's Connor's stream or Chris's videos or my shoes. I just find,

the reason why I asked, I was like, it's so shocking because what I met you, which I think was, not wait, TwitchCon. Vegas, yeah, that's right. I remember I left and I said a lot, I'm like, who was that guy? I love that guy. He kicked me out of the blackjack seat He was like, get up young pup

Yeah And I was like Well I went up 9K from $300 in that trip You did You were insane This seat is hot and you are not gonna sit in that You gotta get off But I think Pete's so self-deprecating

That it's hard to roast Pete Nowadays, for me at least I can't Oh like he's like I am white I am fucking dumb Yes He's all true though He's constantly be rabbiting me And I'm like

Oh Interesting But I think it's It's something that was not common in, it's a Midwest thing, I think, actually. And the way my mom kind of like just raised me, it's, it's way more fun to be humble and positive and just not take it seriously than it is to worry. But I am very sensitive, though. Like, I hate a lot of this shit.

So, like, it makes me, I get like imposter syndrome or I'm always wondering, like, oh, I shouldn't have, should have done that differently. But, like, I'm getting used to that. Pete, it's anger. Anger is what solves everything It's like energy You would ruin him Dude I watched your league streams

It's not the answer What are you talking about? Some guy was like What's the record? You're like ban that guy It says it on the fucking screen Six and two I don't say ban that guy

I do it myself Okay And then Because mid game Mid game He was like Go all tab out to ban someone Because it's on the screen

Yeah it was It was right But then you also had a thing And I was like Look what's that thing It's called like Trisket Eaters Or whatever What was the thing at the top?

Oh, his subs... Drywall punchers Drywall punchers And I was like, what's that? I thought you were so mad You'd been punching the wall a thousand times Because he's like on a losing streak Awesome like set decoration for your stream

Would just be like a drywall With holes all behind you It's really easy to punch through Unless you had a stud Yeah and then it really hurts And then someone in chat types What is drywall punches? How many times do you punch your drywall

And then you all tab ban the fuck out of it I don't ban people. I time them out. It's obviously subs. You don't ban people? What are you even talking about? I time them out. Time them out.

You ban people and then you go back later for the unbanned forms off stream because you like doing it. No, I do that on stream. I eat my dessert in front of people. But you have to ban them to do the unbanned forms. Sometimes I ban them. Sometimes I ban them. But sometimes I time them out. Sometimes.

Did you always plan on having a kid? No, no. No, no. I did not. But my wife was adamant. Oh. But, like, now that I had them, it's the single, like, I know this is, and I don't want to be like, oh, the kid, but like, it was, it was transformative. It's so incredible. I, like, I'm really astonished. That's so, I've heard this time and time again, they say, like, it's just true, man. I'm not saying you said these words, but I've heard a lot like, yeah, I didn't want kids, then I had a kid, and it just changes, you just, you feel differently. Yeah, let's see, let's see, you want a second kid? Um, kind of for, no, I mean, so it's a tough, my wife asked me that, like, when she was in labor and I was, and I was, like, okay, let's just wait.

She's like, by the way, another one? Yeah. Let's defuse the bomb work currently in game we're in. And then we'll talk about your next one game we're ready to kill your next one. That's how it is. I guess that's what it is the same. I got that reference. All right, I'm getting better.

Let's go. But she, yeah, I think it would be cool. I just, I'm really coming to terms of a lot of it right now. It's just so much stuff. And, but I can tell you, I'll finish work or whatever. I'll just go into the room and I'll see him sleeping there. and it's just like, this is so awesome. And it's, it's, it's really cool.

That's because that's what I feel like it'll be, because that's what I get when I get off work and I see DIRs. What? The cat. Yeah. And then I feel like a baby version of that would just be higher.

You don't even like Dirk. You're the dumbest motherfucker to breathe. Wait, are you like grinding dad stuff? Like, are you reading books on it? No, I figured my dad taught me enough. He left in like two days. I lasted longer. That's worked for generations and generations.

No, I think I'm taking a lot of the lessons that I took to heart that my mother kind of instilled in me. But I think right now, like, some people say, do you want him to play baseball or do you want him to do this or that? I don't want to do whatever he starts showing an inclination and interest in. And I'm sure he'll like what I like just because he's going to be with me. But the only thing I'm going to really make sure we do a lot is reading. I think reading's like, I like reading. So I want him to have that skill. Wait, I have a wreck.

I have a wreck for your child Okay, let's hear it Your child should listen to classical music It's so groundbreaking It's so amazing It's so really groundbreaking Well, let me tell you You can develop perfect pitch in a child

If you introduce the child At a young age To a wide enough array of music I listen to like Lil Wayne and fucking young boy I have like perfect everything I don't mean genres or artists Be a young boy Let your kid listen to young boy

I literally mean the way their brain will comprehend sound is different if they've heard a large enough range. So your kid's swag surfing by Lil Wayne? No, but we have the Beastie Boys records. We've got... Why the Beastie Boys? Oh, you want a white rapper? No, I did not. I said one artist, and then you...

We got Delle the Funky Elosapia. He's a black guy. So we have... You know why you should have talk like this. We got Yamashita Tatsma. That's big. I got all the spectrum here of artists. But mainly I've been getting a lot of video game vinals and playing those for them interesting

Y'all I've been making gains recently you mean gains Tyler what kind of gains? I can see you gaining What are you talking about Tyler I'll put on 15 pounds okay that's just wait yeah sure okay Pure muscle wait so you were using hunger you put on 15 pounds of pure muscle yeah that's crazy It's all my dick it's all your penis is what you said? That's what you're getting for Wow is it because of all the high quality nutritious food options that hunger has for you don't pipe up, your dad's been loving it. Well, why don't, okay. So why don't you tell me, Tyler, because I can't pipe up.

Why don't you tell me how hungry has benefit you and your fallace and or muscles? I just pick one of their meals. They got to fuck on. How much? How much? Like, I got to pick one. I only have one every one. How much they have options?

15,000 options. 15,000 options. 15,000 recipes? I feel like that's a lot. That's higher than you know numbers exist. It's a pre-mutation for sure. Hold on. Did you have the salmon and bro with broccoli and spinach, bro?

Yeah, I had them all. You've had all 15,000 hungry products. You've eaten 15,000 broken products. Hot Tyler? Hot Tyler has had 15,000 products, including beef tacos with rainbow slaw. You've had the rainbow slough? Gotta be hard to pick a favorite out of the 15,000. I haven't heard of that, Tyler.

I haven't heard of that, Tyler. Carter mom's hooch rainbow saw. I would get something normal. It's hard to pick a favorite. It's hard to pick a favorite. Spaghetti. I love spaghetti and meatballs. Spaghetti and meatballs as well.

So you can go to hungarroot.com slash the yard for a limited time to get 40% off this box. First box. Plus get a free item with every box for life. Don't make a joke about her box. Yeah, I knew you're going to say that about my... I've been getting her box. Take advantage of this exclusive offer.

Go to hungaryroot.com. Hungarroot.com slash the yard and use code the yard to get 40% off. your first box and a free item of your choice for life. Hungaroo.com slash the yard code the yard. Should be code Tyler because you're such a good brand ambassador. It just doesn't make any sense. Get your hand out of your ear.

Get us out. Well, I think the thing I think about it is what I would fuck up is like, what if I did like, you know how kids just can't, you can't have water? When did they tell you that? Wait, I kind of know that. Babies, what know it? Exactly, bro. Because what happens if you give your kid water and then, you know, that'd be bad.

Well, my wife was in daycare for like eight years. She wasn't like in day She was going to say That's more my son So she taught Gaynor graduated from daycare At 16 Do you know Artosis

He's a Starcraft Commentator Yeah yeah Yeah older guy I think he's actually your age He's got like four kids But I watch his stream And most of his stream

Is him just yelling at chat And playing Starcraft Against Koreans and losing And he's been doing this for years And years But sometimes people will ask him about like how to raise a kid and he'll like he'll like change completely and he'd be like well i think what you have to do with a child is you have to be patient the more patient you are

with your child the better it is for them and for you he gets in like a zen state just to yeah and then he turns right back around he's like shut the fuck up and uh and i've used that to turn around on people who are mean to me on the internet and i say i wish your parents were more patient with that a little grace little empathy yes but to that point even up until the day he was born, I was very kind of nervous about it, but do I have time for the birth store? Yeah, it was

really cool to me. Um, so my wife, I was on a legendary umamusime run. Like I was seriously, I was like the goat of streaming that game. I don't know why that happened, but like it just you went, you went mega viral on Twitter because you had like a post of you playing it. And radio commentaring some

bullshit. On French Twitter. Where I think most people, yeah, French Twitter and where most people I think like dabbled in Umamusame you were like in the shit like you understood what it took to get an S-ranked gal. Well I like horse racing in general like my dad did and so we would talk about that and stuff but I don't really like anime right

but I was on this generational run and I had so much time to play it because my wife was like nine months pregnant and the day she was like it was my son was actually born on his birthday which is tragic July 7th Wait does he have a godfather?

He'll be living that mogul life I named like seven just in case I go broke. I'm like, Connor, Chris, Ludd. You made us all about it off. Telling each of them individually. Both of you pass, we come like the wise men. So I, it's like 4.30 in the morning. And I'm like in an 18-hour stream of a mumoosome.

And my wife, she's like, I think it's time. And I didn't, I immediately stopped the, like, I just stood up and left. Like I was like, I got to go. And then I got a sign. She's like, let's take me to the hospital. So I go there. And in Japan, you. you have to sign up to be in the room, like six months in advance.

You can't be. Oh, my God. Yeah. So I didn't sign up because I had a very sick cat at the time. And he'd passed like a month before that. So I, now I had the free time though. So I could have been there. So I was like, let me stay for the dam's childbirth. You know, and they were like, okay, we'll make an exception. Oh, you carried your way through. Yeah, I carried my way through that. Did they have a word for that in Japanese? A pita. It's funny when he does that. When you do it, it makes us feel weird. so I go in there and she they said it's not going to happen for the 12 hours please come back later and I said okay so I went home and I go back on the show I was like false alarm guys I'm good

I stream for like another hour told the story and then I finally like get off the air and then she calls me back she's like it's happening now get back here so I was like now I'd been up 24 hours she'd been up 24 hours I get to the hospital room and I'm in this room and they have like this chair where they have these these handles and the legs are like oh it's like the dentist this is fucked up. And she was like right next to this huge, enormous stone wall. And it was like

we were in prison. But through the stone wall, we could both easily hear a woman screaming in agony. In Japanese, she's going, and it's interesting, Japanese ouch is two syllables, which is weird. She's going, E. Tai!

Over and over and over and over again. Ouchy. Ouchy. And you're like, awkward. Yeah, and my wife's, like, getting ready and looking at me. And I was about to speak, and she'll, like, scream it again, like, every, like, six seconds. And I was like, can't be that bad.

Yeah. Come on. This fucking rookie. I was like, she must have triplets. Like, that's not that hard. And so my wife starts going into labor, and they bring in the doctors, and they are, I was like, what do you want me to go? What do you want me to do?

And they were, like, just hold her hand. I was like, she, like, nearly snapped in half. like, how about, how about you hold onto this and I'll, like, wipe your sweat? Yeah, yeah. And so, this woman's been in, I guess she'd been in labor for six hours. And so, Yuki starts locking in.

And I was like, all right. She'd be barren like five times. I'm telling you, though, my wife, she's, like, superhuman strong. So she starts, like, doing the contractions, and it's taking an immense amount of effort at something to the lengths of which I've, I mean, well, I did do an 18-hour

in a moose-a-o-moose-me-same-old. Yeah, pretty close, pretty close, yeah. She's like pushing as hard as she can, gasping for breath, and then she does like two contractions at a time. And it completely like just exhausts her. And she's done this for about 30, 40 minutes. And I've been wiping her sweat. It's just like pouring off of her. And suddenly after her second of one of these contractions, they said, we see the crown of the head.

It's coming out. And then there's like some discussion. And then she's like, no, no, no. and she looked at me and she's like I don't want it and I thought well it's a little late it's like it's now

it's like nine we've been doing this for 40 weeks you play the game for nine months Steam is not and I was like I think we're gonna love him and she's like you idiot not the baby they're saying using forceps and I was like okay well that was key information that's so fucking

you got to translate that part than saying I don't want it and I'm sitting here that's not Japanese 101 the forceps doesn't come up a lot I didn't hear that part I mean I can ask can you put it back in to California stat we'll have hours to do this Doc, do you think it's had a conscious experience so they start getting like this

looks like some sort of a gulag torture device and then I was like she doesn't want that and like they don't know what the fuck I'm saying so I was like I'll just shut up and then they said well they need that because the baby has been exposed to oxygen and at this point if you don't get it out soon enough it will die it'll suffocate because it's been disconnected from the the umbilical cord exactly so it can't breathe that's so crazy so my wife there and it's like this comically like cartoonishly looking weapon like silent hill can you look it up

what's it called a forceps you look the four i've never seen what forceps look like they come and some of them they just put like on their head and they like pull it like a sling and it like it can be like this oh they grabbed the bike's fucking head My God. That's the device. Well, theirs was like from pre-war. It was like so old-looking. Look of Japanese foreseps.

Yeah, yeah. I mean, I don't know if they're going to have the one at my ancient hospital. Yeah, I think I was forcepted by some 1990 technology. Well, whatever it was, it was. Go down one. Go down one. I don't care. Don't say you.

Well, it's you. Miracle of life. Miracle of life. Well, they did say it. Oh, that one. Look at that one. I'm not looking. No, the bottom right, it looks like...

Oh my God, it looks like the device that opens the wine bottle, but also does other shit, and I don't know what the other shit is. It's just the same device. What is that fucking thing? It's the same. It does so many things, and there's a corkscrew, and it's awesome. It was an all-in-one tool that I didn't want to use. So it was crazy.

My wife, she just did, they were like doing this with it and like getting it ready. And then they were, and then also, they were like, don't look down here. And then I immediately, this was like, what's going on? and I should not have looked. He was like, I saw everything. It was like, okay. Dude, that's crazy. They can use a four steps on my eyes maybe, but like,

then she shows she does the two contractions, and you could tell she's at every single ounce of her energy is being put into this. And she collapsed back, and then she just alts and does a third one. And I was like, oh, my God. Like, I've never seen somebody dig that deep for something. And it's still not out.

And she has to go for the fourth. fourth round and on the fourth and final push using I can't even imagine the strength the baby came out and my no foursives no foursets my life like went like back to back oldts and then like and then she they brought the baby around and I was I found out I'd been holding my breath for like three minutes like I because I was so nervous right yeah so for me I gasped and like everybody's looked like a watercolor because I had no oxygen in my brain and And so I was seeing the baby come out and they're bringing it around and I see my wife and she's like waving at it and they bring it and they like tap her on the tummy with it and

then they move it behind and there's like this blood on her tummy because it's from the and then they were like don't look back and I was like oh my God and it's all purple like an eggplant so I thought oh my God something's happening like he's bright purple and they and she was like is he okay and I was like uh yeah and the doctor was like um he was like uh he was like which is their thinking sound which is also two syllables which I think is interesting like he was like

a baby is fine I was like okay okay that's good and then he and then like another nurse was like in perfect English she was like

when the babies are born they have to adjust to oxygen I was like where were you in the four steps talk you're like you speak better than I do and then she went back so then they kicked me out of the hospital like 20 minutes later

because in my and they she had to stay at the hospital with the baby for 10 days. I can only visit 15 minutes a day. In America they're like, get the fuck out. They kicked you the fuck out. Yeah, America, you got 15 minutes to get out. That's how it works. Yeah. And sometimes you get the wrong baby. Yeah. Yeah, you get the wrong baby.

There's somebody who's give you the other person's baby. But, and so yeah, the baby was born on Ludwig's birthday, which just kind of sucks because the next day would have been perfect because right now we're in the interior. That sucks, but it was kind of,

So like in the imperial year right now, it's, it's Newa, which is like this emperor's reign, 7.7. So the baby almost was born on 777, which would have been. Jackpot. Jackpot. You hate. One off Jack part. And they got to name your kid Jack. We were going to name his middle name Jack. And so. Just get this getting to say into the bonus for fuck's sake. Dealer, dealer, dealer, dealer, deal. Why don't just lie on the birth and say nothing? I thought about it. And then like my wife's father was born on 7-7. Oh, just lie, bro. Lie before the first birthday. Who cares? Just changed all the documents. But now I have this great excuse when it's your birthday. I'm like, oh, I forgot.

I was busy with my son. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow, that all sounds really beautiful. I can't wait to also go through it. It was cool. I have to give you your son amazing presence now every birthday because I have no excuse to not remember.

Exactly. His little name is a lot to remember. We have a shirt. We have a yard shirt. We've been talking about turning into a baby's thing, like a baby shirt. We better hurry because you guys shipping takes forever. It's a picture of slime.

smoking crack on it. Oh, I've seen that shirt. That's a great shirt. We want to make a baby version. I appreciate that. Would you put it on your baby? Yeah, I just smoked crack with him. Why not? So that changed a lot of things. And even the first few months, I have no idea other than, like, I just want to do drugs. No. But like, I would not know where to

help or what to do. And, like, that's been a big change. And luckily, my wife has a lot of experience, but it's crazy. And you think that, like, we've just been doing this for a really long time as a race of human beings right like it doesn't as confused as you can get it's like

right pick him up when he's crying yep you know I don't know I feel like we've like maybe been doing it long for you know human history but babies are kind of useless for like 18 years that's part of why they're that's part of why they're smart

is they have to keep growing outside of the womb they'll come out you know I assume the mind can walk he's to work in the field. The other species are so good. Like a baby deer comes out, he's running. But a baby deer can't wield fire to make weapons and that's the difference. And that's what we hope for.

You get like a baby beaver, they just start making dams. They're just like, I get it. It's the one thing they know how to do. It's crazy. And they don't have to be like, yo, so you're going to be a dam maker. Yeah, you don't even have to tell them. They're just like, they're just like, that shit's a little too open. Does anyone else feel that way? There's a baby that wants to be a dancer. just looking at any gap and be like that's what wrong with that

oh somebody's gonna fill that I just don't like how open that is you guys are you're in for it though because there's stuff that you don't ever anticipate like like my son has a little trouble pooping right brother I'll anticipate I have world experience put a Q-tip up your asshole and try to get it out it's gonna take more than Q-tube brother okay that's right you got to do that with your son that's crazy I know and then there's things like how do you wash an infant's penis. Like, we don't know these things. Right.

Because she was like, what do you do? And I'm like, what do you mean? I clean, but it's like these are, because in Japan they don't circumcise, right? And so we don't know, like, these are things that are necessary for like the health. Like, do you have to peel it back or do you, do you not? And I'm just sitting over

your kids baby penis like, fuck. And then with the three wash sink. I also understand that that that comment really made no sense when I said it. Like it just, I'm not. I'm not. I'm not I knew exactly what you. I assumed you had an uncircumcised kid. I understood completely what you meant.

But like that those things are not in like dad training. No. Like you're circumcised. I'm not actually. Wow. Welcome to our side of the right side of history. That's right. Why didn't your parents get you circumcised?

I think my dad was just like. Wasn't invented when you were a baby? No, it wasn't. Yes. The forceps were brand new. But like I so but like, but I don't remember. how I cleaned it at zero. Sure, sure.

And I, these things are so delicate, these babies. Like, you don't know, you don't want to, they're, like, even the way that they sleep, one of the things that's quite common in Japan is, is that a lot of Asians from, like, my, her parents' generation, have kind of flatter heads on the back because they, they lay on the futon. And so nowadays, there's a lot of, like, pillows or, like, but Western children generally have more rounded backs because we're sitting in cribs with pillows or whatever. And your skull can change.

So like, you know, those, oh yeah, it's like very malleable for like 18 months. Yeah, it's got a big hole in it. Right, yeah, right, right. I'm making my kid sleep in a cube. Well, fuck it. Like one of those watermelon? Oh, so that's like, like Japanese watermelon? Crazy.

Go to square head, baby. Oh, fuck it. Check it out. It's one of a little. Fuck it's weird. That's my kid. Designer skull. Isn't that strange?

All that stuff. Getting your Balenciaga skull template for your child. So wait, what do you do? Futon? Oh, no. So, you know, we were just looking for the right pillow. Well, then he had like this huge bald line. Like, if you wore a headband all the time, because his pillow looked like mine, it was like all these hairs on it. I'm like, uh-oh. And he was going like this all the time.

And like just, it was like completely removing all of the hair there. So then we were like, okay, there's no manuals for any of the shit. So she found some infant pillow on Instagram and bought that. And he loves it. So double-in-in-in-in-com. Yeah, W Instagram. So, like, I think the thing that I was trying to convey was I, when I had a dad training class where we, like, I learned how to give a fake baby a bath with other Japanese dads. And we were all just like, we don't know what we're doing.

Yeah. And then you're suddenly, you're just doing it. And you're answering all these questions or you're so unsure about stuff. But I left the country right after you was born. So here I am. I hope those have been answered. So what's harder so far, being a dad or Final Fantasy tactic? With Connor specifically

Tactics Okay I think my son Figures things out faster Are you guys failing at Final Fantasy tactics Do not ever say you guys It was 100% him

Because it's like my favorite Final Fantasy So we did like We did the full thing In one stream And it took him 45 hours Which is actually pretty quick But he doesn't understand

The beginning of military warfare He's like I'll attack this from the front Every single fucking time And be shocked when I miss the enemy Every single fucking time Sometimes you have to move around It takes a many years of front shot to learn that there's other ways.

Backshots are key, is what I was saying. Back shots are important. They're very, but you can never touch tactics. Final Fantasy tactics. I'm only finally here. I think I can speak with authority. But not.

How many months old is your baby? Three. Oh my God. So yeah. So I'm still learning. Yeah, brand new. So I'm learning all this stuff and trying to figure out

all of these answers that, like you said, though, we've been doing it for millennia. So I guess it's really hard to like hurt a baby unless it's intentional. like so that they're gonna fall and bang their head they're gonna scrape their knees

and we don't have that yet because he's not crawling yet but like things will happen I mean I'm sure you guys have had been to the hospital before yeah never went to hospital I bang my head up a shit ton as a kid okay so like concussion I was like three babies

oh the sharp edges yeah or the furniture that just falls down because it doesn't have it's like poorly balanced or the meatballs I went into immediate surgery when I was born really that's why I got a big scar my whole hair lines a scar. No way. That's cool

as hell. I had a big old thing on my head on my head when I was born. My son does have a cyst and he has to have surgery. So that was not that was not like anything we did wrong but like at first I saw... Assist? Yeah so... You can get a cysts when you're not look up those things. They can have like teeth

and hair instead. Yeah, you can spot gross sis. Not his doesn't but you should... Okay, maybe this sounds weird but what if you gave him a cool scar? Well I like a monster hunter create a character. What if you physically abuse your baby. It's not abuse.

Have you thought about throwing your baby around? You don't throw anything. You have a baby. It should come with the stickers that like guitar, hero guitars come with. Like your phone? Yeah, he's given whatever.

He'll have surgery at one years old. We have to wait for a year. Baby should have gun buddies or something. I don't know. A gun buddy for your baby? Yeah. But anyway, the cue tip up the ass is the hardest part.

Okay. That's the worst. Well, that's a good note because I hadn't, that hadn't even crossed my mind. Well, sometimes we got to do that with you. Does it work? Yeah.

You have to like, It doesn't just, or is it like, is it more of like a... It's like it oozes out. And it's not solid yet because they don't have... Yeah, because it's breast milk, poop. Babies are fucking crazy. And it's like bright yellow-brown. Yeah, so you were all babies.

Slowly oozing out. That's what I tell myself in the process. I'm going, I was like this. I had to have done this once. You were that. Somebody stuck a finger or a cutip up my asshole and I paid for it last time in Shinjuku, but now this, but now. You got a wonder, too.

It's like, I, I hear some. stories like this and I think about like when I was a teenager and I was like a pain in the ass to my mom and shit and it's like she she put a Q-tip in my ass and now I'm fucking 14 lipping you know now I'm now mouthing off to her yeah she took care

of you when you could do jack shit for like 23 years damn yeah that's crazy man so that's been fun and like make him a baseball player I'm not gonna force him to do anything why why why because I like make him play for the Bangkok

so I'm at the Soft Bangkok. Sit him down at the smash set up and just see what he does. Well, you know, they have a thing that they do in Asia where they put out

like nine different, it'll be like a stack of money paint brush. I don't know if they did that America. We didn't. But like a calculator or whatever. It's like what they do

to find the dolly. I'm going to see like, well, yeah, I put my sin out there and he's just like, I'm going to crawl towards my crack pipe

or whatever. They're like shit. Don't put a track hawk out there man or the keys to it because I'm going to get in that. I'll put a baseball bat out there. Put a baseball bat out there and then put a baseball glove

and then put only baseball stuff. And then put a ring light in like a chat and like Elgado like Extreme deck. Well, the thing that's as cool is that no matter what, you're going to be, for at least a little bit,

whatever you're into as a dad or a mom, your son is going to be interested as well. So I've already going to get tickets to like baseball games and he'll, just because I love it, I'm going to be what he knows for the first like five years.

So anything that I'm like, I have to be really conscious of that because I don't want to like, only Suntory whiskey or something. That'd be it. That'd be not a really developed palate, would it? No, no. But like, but that's, I was told that by the trainers or whatever.

The other thing they taught me in Japan, which I thought was wild. We were in this room with all the dads, and they put on this video from like 1973 or whatever, our generation. And then they said, they were like, you need to talk to the baby while it's in the tummy. So I'd go like, gosh, she's fake. That's a bullshit. Shit, yes.

That's some bullshit. And I was like, Konichua, O'Hoye gozoimus, Papa des. And then he heard my voice and I was like, this shit's fake as fuck.

Fake as fuck. But then they, so I was doing that for like six months and all the other dads were like, I'm not doing that. But the other thing they said was, you need to take baths with your children

until they're like three or four. Like you, it's part of the process. Like right now we're showering them and stuff. Yeah. And then, you know, I get in the bath and I wait. And then I haven't done it yet

but I'm doing it. I get back. she'll hand them to me and we'll just be in the bathtub and they said on the video they said no matter what even if your son is a yakuza he'll always remember

he'll have a family he'll love his mom and dad I was like if you take a bath of them yeah if you know like they'll know that they always have a home and I was like well what did I fail on the yakuza part

how did I fuck that up well it's not from not having a bathroom advice you so it's cool but the worst thing you could be in Japan is just in a gang here it's a lot worse you can be a lot more

Bad gang does some bad stuff. Not, no. Can't be that bad? Begai Nye. Dude, I, why are you as a man bathing with another man? Yeah, have you ever considered that? You know? I haven't done it yet, but I'm ready.

You can't do that. It's a baby. Well, and also, you've never been in an onsen? I've been in an onsend. Oh, so why are you guys? We've been in the onset. I have developed secret methods to not acknowledge the other men in the onsen. Wow, why?

We've been. Slime in there? to be clear We've been on camera You've been naked around the bros So what? On camera I'm kidding

I love being naked Of course he's kidding Because seconds before the potty walks up to me When I'm talking to Christian He does this Just kissing the tip He's just doing that I'm just in conversation

I'm trying to play in some shit Pencil Why did it's very thin Very long And he got down Why he made it like a beef stick And then Christian's like so do you want to do like five o'clock or four o'clock for this meeting you know

I please don't go near my son I'm not going to your son I'm not I'm not going to bathing together I don't think I don't think slime uh I think slime's the old firm no children I mean hey don't rule it out brother I'm just saying I'm not interested and I continue to be not interested and nothing ever changes but I think when I'm around kids I think I understand them really well Were you ever a hundred percent no? Yeah, yeah.

Well, it's like, we both like the play. No, but like, I think it was just, it's so weird for our generation. I think for all of us, you know, it's just, I just didn't know when it was going to happen and I wasn't sure if I wanted to be a dad and like today's climate.

But more of it was, I didn't know if I wanted to commit to that sort of, I was kind of selfish. I was like, I don't want to commit to the next 20 years of my life. But now, genuinely, all I think about it, is like, how can I get more free stuff so I can give all my money to him? Like, I just want his stuff to be cool.

And not, but I don't want to spoil him. So, okay, he's got to earn. Like, all I think about is, like, what I can do to make his life as awesome as possible. And, like, with traveling and stuff like that. So, yeah, it's really changed a lot of my perspective and it's brought my wife and I closer and stuff because, you know, that can be,

we've been together for a while. We've had to survive a lot of cultural differences. And, I mean, plus, I'm just an idiot. so she has to deal with me, but like... You met in Japan. Yeah, yeah. Yes, we met in Japan. And so, do you think it'd be easier

to have one kid or nine kids? Probably nine, because you get a whole team that way, right? They start doing the work for you. I know. Without skipping a beat, dude, that was magic. But that's true, though. That's one of the percent. I think that's a good point.

Do you think what's better, one child and two parents? Or nine children, no parents? Oh, I think nine, like, all over twists, like they're all like running around Fagan and they're like, let's go steal some money. I think the nine

fatherless children. That's fucking sick. I mean, you're making the lost boys. You're making the newsies. So many institutions have been built off nine kids. The warriors.

The warriors. They're going to take care of each other. Yeah, like, and then we get, I'd rather, I'd rather have that now. Life's with my bros. I think you know what? It's funny.

I think what I developed in my life without thinking about it is the situation I'm in now. What's that? You know, parentless with nine of my associates. If you have three kids, They should combine into one, like auto chess.

This should just become a better kid. They're just a stronger kid. They're like an awesome, more better kid. They try this with the trench code. It rarely works. Sometimes you get to see the rate in our movie. I think it's like 50-50-ish between us all, right? On confidence in wanting kids or having kids. But you guys are so young though.

Oh. You're 50-50? No, no, no. I'm saying it's 50-50 across this room. Oh, okay. I'm definite. I'm, I'm... My kid ETA is in like two years. Oh, can you really? you rank who you think would be the best father of the four here?

Well, I know you the best. So I'm one? Yeah. That's disgusting. But mainly all I know slime, though, is from league. League streams. Oh, my God. That doesn't paint it in the best.

But now that I'm sitting next to him, he's charging up your heels there. But then on the, I watched this, you guys do the fast food thing in your D&D costumes. Oh, yeah. And I really liked you the most in that one. Like, you were outside being a menace. But does that make him a good parent? No, actually. So it moved him down to fourth because you're a free bird.

You need your let your wings spread. I like the way you put it. You really brought it back around for me. Honestly, here's the cool thing is... A kid would bog me down. No, the cool thing is that if one of you had a kid, it's going to have four dads. Like, for real.

Yo, because we're going to be gay. Yeah. Yep. Yeah, we're going to be gay together. But, like, can't you guys see that? But I mean, I would teach your kid crazy shit. Oh, dude. We're going to teach his kid insane.

I'm going to give your kid a switchblade for his second birthday. I'm going to teach your kid's so many slurs in every language. I want to keep your kid's going to wu-tang the roach. Mutang the roach, switch blades. Krov Maga. Krov Maga. And we're talking about political shit. Oh, we're going there, dude.

And it's not lemonade stands for policies. Yeah, he almost, did we even go over there? He was getting angry that I was late because he was going to. I've got a lemon stand. I got lemon stand. I love that you say that. He was about a bumping. all because what you took the training

and it got delayed because America doesn't respect your time? Because America doesn't have functioning trains dude and I came in and I was like I'm so sorry guys I haven't eaten and he immediately stood up and was like yeah it was it time in the group chat the group chat called you chomo Pete what's that I don't even know

I don't even know okay it's just some weird shit yeah that's kind of sick that's what he said like Cuomo like political guy yeah that's what made it sick for you Chomo Pete well it's all you chomos out there that's the episode with me. Hey, I'm Chomo Pete. That was great. No, don't, you stop. Get me up in the channel. You just don't. Really important. From one Chomo to a half. I'll see you in like six or seven

days. Okay, maybe if you're not incarcerated. Hey, we'll see y'all in the premium episode, in the Patreon. We'll see you guys on the bonus episode. Pete, everybody. Just Pete. Chomo. What's Chomo? Child molester.