The Yard - Ep. 223 - We Ranked Every Candy

Episode Date: October 29, 2025

This halloween special, the boys do a candy tier list! The boys separate different candy you can find trick-or-treating into different tiers! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

So I got something to tell you guys, I got something to tell you guys. what is it I went to the dermatologist this morning to get the whole thing checked out you know yeah right hair and uh it's not looking good you know you guys win

wow wait this actually happened no this actually happened and also I'm here they don't know if you guys didn't have it I'm sorry empty chairs just started talking sorry by bad um

so it's real so it's real would they tell you you're like you're like a, the Norwood, they'd make a new number was like, Norwood, like, beta delta. He gets Norwood Lambda. He's off the scale. It's like, you know, there's, I can take

medication and shit like that, right? He just started a razor sound. And I was like, what if I just covered it up all the time? Yeah, for the audio listeners, Aiden is dressed as a furry for Halloween. Well, he's dressed as a wolf. So I feel like, can you stand up and show and wag it

for everyone? Just, we just wagging around. Wag a moment. Dude, the thighs. are unbelievable. Dude, they're so thick. Dude, look at it wag. That's not a wag, man. You know how to shake.

The thighs look like that. There it is. Oh, man. Sexy. Dude, that hits the G-spot. The male G-spot is so crazy. I've been knocking shit. These thaws

been knocking shit down over the office. You look like you could jump 200 feet in the air. You got too much ass. It might need to be a helmet comes off party. Like, well, how about you show us? Let's see what the hair doctor said, show us with a hair doctor, because I think he might have been wrong.

Don't, don't bow your head. Don't be sad. No, don't be sad. We're not going to make fun of you. Don't be a sad puppy. We're not going to make fun of you. Of course, we never do that. We have a track record of making fun of you at this.

What are you talking about? You're specifically here? It's not going to happen. It looks good, man. Pull it back. Oh my God. Wow, it keeps going back. Wow.

Wait, where's... Move the paw a little bit. Oh, that looks great. That looks really good. It looks good. It feels like you're not... Even Barry Harkin and I'm saying it looks good, but your face is just horrific.

I couldn't really see it before. Dude, it looks... I'm loving it. It's just strong. Come on. It's a really strong hairline. And everyone likes it. Okay, well, I maybe just get used to this.

So I actually, I said this the other day. I was fucking doing the thing I do every day for 10 hours. Telling Kelby he's a chomo? Yes. I do that, yes. Yeah. Yeah. In your mind, in my mind, your day is 12 hours of League of Legends, 10 hours of calling

Kelvin at Chomo, two hours of sleep. I wish I got more sleep, too. You're right. I just wish I did. But I was, uh, I was like on stream and I was saying like, Aiden, to his last dying breath, will always tell me, no, I've just always had a high hairline. And I'm like, no, dude, I can see this shit.

Bald guys see this shit with, like, a laser precision? I can't believe you gave him the ammunition to be correct, Aiden. It's more like I already knew that. I came up behind him. He was typing a comment on the LS subreddit, and he was pissed. I'm not bald. And shut up about. was being rude to him and he's

hyping up a storm and I'm sympathetic and I'm like hey tell him bro and I touch his chest and I'm touching his shoulders and I got this view of the bald spot on the back of his hair dude come on and I'm like and I'm just saying it's like how many times did I warn him how many times did I say

let's go to Turkey Yamalaka Chrisosanisti To be fair you've been warning him before was a problem I think it became a problem because you said it Yeah I think you willed it into existence I think the stress is what made is hair. Yeah, I think he was stressed about losing it

and that's why he lost it. It's a that so raven moment. I got gaslighting to go. You got gasoline going ball, yeah. And maybe it'll save my life. Wait, did you actually know what you're going to do? Yeah, I think I'm going to try topical rogate. Topical rogain helps the crown, but you

got to keep doing it. It also makes your hair feel gross. It's gross to put in your hair. Why? It's like, it's like milky. It's low key. It feels like, yeah, there's like a film that goes in your hair did you go for the rogain at one point in you yeah i did you did yeah i can't tell you're talking to

it's actually so hard it's not clear dude the new balances look so funny my god if you were honestly if you laid down in the back like under the slide

I wouldn't know I wouldn't know you were there dude can we can we next time we have a guess, can you gilly suit in the set? Oh my god, gilly suit snapped their neck's gone this way. Like, standing that little bush in the corner? Yeah, I think that would really work.

A really suit snapped their neck in half. Can we talk about your awesome costume? That's pretty, that's a lot of effort? Yeah, I'm Spider-Man. Why are you wearing pajamas? I just woke up. But I, like, what? He just woke up.

I don't get it. It couldn't be more clear. I don't get it. What is there not to get? I'm Spider-Man, and I got called in early to action, and I was still wearing my PJ. J's. Oh, so you're out of the house. I'm out of the house. You're wearing that out of the house. Spider-Man is wearing only the mask to bed. Sometimes you wear just the mask. Sometimes you wear just the mask and you go nude underneath. So when Spider-Man gets into bed. Let's walk through this. When Spider-Man gets into bed, he strips down. He keeps the mask on and he strips down. Now he puts his PJs on. Yeah. Okay, let me ask you this. When I have sex, what do I wear? it's a great question

are you having sex with Mary Jane or you're having sex with someone else I'm having sex with sexual and that's a great question is it Mary Jane Gwen Stacy or a random barricade bunny for Spider-Man so many Flusis A Flusi

A Flusi Wait you keep the mask off The mask would stay on The mask would stay on You're right Mask stays on for the Flusi Hey Sade and Spider-Man What were you doing last night huh?

Don't worry about me Oh my God Bro he got white shit all over his mask I was sucking off a flusies He's got the He's got the like the He's got the He shut it

I do. I really do. Yuck, man. What's wrong with that? I was just saying, Spider-Man. I can web your dick right now. You have to eat it through the mask. Yeah, just Spider-Man is the giant hole? Dude, I was telling that Anthony, before we started,

we were standing next to each other, and I was rubbing his belly, because he said, he said, I just ate a cheese steak. Yeah. And I locked eyes, and I was like, someone wrote this fan fiction. like me me the furry rubbing my pregnant

crados I did I ate a cheese steak last night at really late so I would be bloated for the podcast I thought being like it's always sunny mac like fat crados would be kind of funny but I'm not like

I've been eating like shit and not doing anything for a month and I said let's use this yeah it's funny because you're like painted fully white like you're ghostly white but you're under a purple light so you look like you're purple Dude, you got Nick's skin tone.

Yeah, okay. Yeah. I've never heard Rich laugh. I've never heard Rich laugh. I've literally never heard Rich's laugh. Why did that even just come out? You ever seen your fucking belly, bro? That's crazy.

Wait, let's look at your purple belly, bro. I can't. It's under an awesome gilly suit. I don't know if I can get to it. I like, no, I don't know if I can. I remember last year during Halloween, Carlo had a gilly suit, and I picked him up for the party.

And I was just driving around with a guy in a gilly suit in my car in a Toyota Ravort. It was a very funny feeling. If you look up like top 10 BuzzFeed, you know, bald costumes for Halloween, where do you think Cretus lives?

I think it's like, it's probably number one through three. Like it's one, two, or three. It's varying depending on whether he had a new game come out. But like, Grados is the bald, like, proud guy. Like, we can say,

yeah, I got kind of Cretos vibes. if you're, you know, bald and ripped. Yeah, because he made it out. He made it out of the bald. Also, Greek. I think we, we need, video games need to stop platforming Greeks. I don't like it.

You're a Greek. Wait, speak to that. Is Credo's Greek? I don't think he's Greek, no? No, he's something else. What the fuck are you talking about? He fights Greek gods. Yeah, but doesn't that mean he's against the Greeks?

Oh, so he's, so he's a Turk. That's what I'm saying, yes. I think he's, he's not, I don't think he's a Macedonian. He's a, he's a, I thought he was a slave. Greeks, oh, maybe if he's a slave, then he's, maybe isn't Greek, because he got enslaved. That's what I thought. I don't know. I don't know shit. I don't know shit either. Dude, Ludwig being more careful about Cretus lore than other shit. Like, well, I don't know. I'm not trying to say on kind of state. I don't want to get into this shit. I can't.

I swear on my mom's life. I swear on my mom's life, Credos Greek. Do you guys think I look, do you guys respect me? Yeah, yeah, yeah, man It's like, it's like the word I put first But I do, but you do It's on the list of things I do But it's like if you cycled through Like if we randomly generated words

To describe you and it came up I'd say yeah, I agree with that How about this? Adore I do adore you Wow I do Mm-hmm, yeah You sound so reluctant every time

I know, it's just either in the list or not I just gotta think about it Uh, admire Yeah, I admire you That one's more certain That one's in the middle of the list You don't admire me? Not at present moment

Well I don't desire Do you desire me? No Well yes actually I do You desire me I do I think in the lore

I desire you right now I desire you like a pillow And the lore of your fake fan fiction that's gonna be real What do you desire me like a pillow I desire you like a pillow Like you need I need whoa

My pot It's hard for it's hard for I don't have thumps This is my new life. Opposable thumbs is a human thing now. Can you give me some fucking patience? You keep snapping at me. I'm gonna sling my web all over you, bro.

Oh, dude, we got so pissed at Aiden yesterday after the pod. We did the pod and Aiden tried to corner him and he's like, I have a fucking, I have a fucking time slot for this. I have a fucking time slot for this. I filled my calendar and he tries to... It was crazy. I used the calendar. I saw him.

The first time I used the calendar against me and I was like, and I caved immediately. I was like, God bless you do. Respect the calendar. God bless you use the calendar. I went to 18 innings of baseball. Dude, I, okay, last night, Ludwig is at the World Series.

It's the third game. It's 1-1. And I, the entire office is watching the game. It comes on at like 5.30. I leave a couple innings in to go see a movie. One battle after another.

Three-hour movie. Three-hour movie. We come out of the theater. There's a crowd around the bar watching the world. series still, and it's the 14th inning of the baseball game. I get back to the office, everyone is still here at 11 p.m. watching the same baseball game, and it goes 18 innings. That's two baseball games. That's two baseball games. Two baseball games. And Yingling kept saying

he's like, you know that they, uh, you know that they stop selling alcohol after the seventh inning, no matter what. He's not wrong. Who told him that? Yeah, he just, you can't tell Yingling a fact, Because then he'll just repeat it. Look, he's right. They had no food. They didn't sell food. Yeah, so you were there? Yeah, I was there.

It was me, my mom, my aunt, my aunt's friend. Oh, your mom's reading a book. Michael and Lily. Was she reading a book at the baseball game? Michael and Lily? She was reading condensed baseball, how to play in French. Aw. To explain to my aunt.

That's so cute. And then it was Lily's first baseball game. Oh, my God. It was her first one. So you got, you guys had an opportunity to act. Like, that's how it always is. Well, that's what she kept saying. She's like, why is it still going?

Is it normal to hit this many, or hit this few balls? Baseball fans, when their dumbass sport lasts too long. I'm bored. I wish it was over. To be clear, that's just Lily. Not a baseball fan. I know that it's another, we need another subreddit. We need more activity of the sub.

You're trying to say something in contrast about sports. Baseball doesn't take any skill. Dude, what's the other guy? the Dodgers, like the good player. Freddy Freeman, show Hey, O'Donnie. Yeah, so someone, I was streaming league and someone just kept talking about how this game's going crazy.

And like, finally it's over. Freddy Freeman closed it out. It was like, who's that? I'm Ludwig. Nice. And it killed. Dude, you should have been show hey for Halloween. Yeah.

You should have been show hey for Halloween. That would have been, yeah. And you should have went really hard. You should have went really hard. You should have gone all the way. And then you could make fun of how he's ESL like you were before. And you could use all the Japanese you learned. Ooh, I could use the Japanese I learned.

Except when he's talking to it, the toughest bitch in the fucking room. Ludwig comes in. Okay, that Cameron Brink clip is literally him just going, you're tall. And then everyone's like, he's using the fucking most advanced English possible. No, there's a clip, dude. He's talking to the toughest. It's literally the baddest? It's a baddest.

The baddest? And then he's just like, hi, my name's Shoheyotani. You can call me Mr. Showtime. Nice to see you Nice to meet you It's insane The rewriting It is literally

Just Cameron Brink Is you're tingling? By the way I guess she's not the Badest thing Myotani numbers One Duh

Who do you got Cameron Brink You've met Cameron Brink Did you meet Cameron Brink? We did the State Farm shoot together Oh Wow Oh

Camer Brink was in the Gamerhood The Gamerhood Camer Hood Camerhood The Gamerhood What You just keep saying it

Weird Guy and Gey The Gamerhood. The Gamerhood. The state farm Gamerhood. I can't see you. We love it. Okay, because my shit's also fogged up right now.

Yeah. Welcome to my fucking whole life, bitch. With glasses on. Oh my God. Yep. Right. Yeah, a little bit of empathy from your side of the room. That's what the masks were a thing.

That's what the mask is for. It's for concealing the truth. Um, but no, I didn't want to do my O-Tani today. Halloween. And I'm going all in. You dress up as Otani and go around and Christians your Japanese interpreter. Ooh. And he just, like, after I walk up to someone, he just does a side bet.

Yeah. Can I be the guy that you owe hundreds of millions to and then I'm going to break your legs? Can I be him? You can show he owes hundreds of millions of someone? Yeah, in the Halloween costume. Yeah, probably. Right. Okay.

Yeah, we can do that. That's why he's a slave. He's a baseball slave. Yeah, he has to play. He's just called baseball player. No, he's a baseball. Baseball. Baseball players are slaves? Joy is because he's in debt, so he's a baseball slave.

Yeah. Also, those Dominican guys that they pick up and fucking put... Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Stop there. No, I'm saying. Dude, they pick up these Dominican players and they, like, indenture them into playing baseball. And it's like, you're going to send you fucking back and we're going to fucking make your family really hurt. Who's they? This is a thing.

Who's they? Cretos has heard this on certain news sites. Guys, we should hear Cretto's out. What else do you understand? Kratos, tell us more about baseball. The Dominicans are being taken by some sort of baseball Joseph Coney. And they're being taken and they're being put into baseball games and being worked to the fucking bone like horses. What level of baseball?

I'm imagining the like vertical video cut of this. It's like conspiracy podcaster, but he's dressed up as Kratos. ominous music in the background. So they're snatching up Dominicans. They're snatching them and they're sending them up to the. Triple A minors. Do they already play baseball? Yes. When they snatch them? Yes. So they're snatching them off of like baseball fields. Yes, yes, yes. Yes. Snatching them off the baseball fields and then saying you can come play in the major leagues. So they're going to a baseball field

where they already are good and like baseball. But they don't get the money. They get slaved like those K-pop's girls. What? Every K-pop girl has a fucked up contract where they have to get like nine surgeries and they don't own anything. But the K-pop girls aren't the slave owners. No, they're the slaves. Okay. And so similar to the K-pop girls. Yes, but it's for sports. The Dominicans for baseball.

Yes. And Shohay is also. And Shohay's a slave to his manager? Shohay's a baseball slave to the debts that he has incurred. Okay. Which is different. He wasn't captured. So he's not a slave.

He's too big to capture. He's not a slave. I mean, he's a slave to debt, like most Americans are. Yeah, but he's just paying off his debt then. But. Oh, but he'll never pay it off. He'll never pay it off. He's like Bruno Mars.

It's called compounding interest and he's like Bruno Mars. He's going to have a show at the Luxor residency. Then half of America's a slave to their college day. Now you're fucking on where we're at. Spider-Man. Now you're where we're at.

Spider-Man figures it out. He needs too many people to save. I can't do it. I'll be way back to bed. I can't fix wealth inequality in Spider-Man. No, you've got to get out and vote for that one. Can I speak to something real quick?

Yeah. In the beautiful Halloween spirit. Speak on that. Yeah, you may. You know what fell off? Trick-or-treating? Trigger-treating fell off. Guys, we're 30.

No, not for us, in general. No, well, for us. Well, I mean, yeah. I went last year, bro, and that shit was mid. Wait, you went last year? Yeah, that shit sucked. Who did you go with? Tell me about your hall.

All the doors are closed. All the lights are off. That's what I'm talking about. So I'm walking up and I'm knocking anyway. What happened to trick-or-treating? And they just, they don't answer. And I see there's lights in the back. And someone tried to tell me, oh, it was COVID.

And I'm like, I don't think. I think I felt this before COVID. There was a shift before COVID, but it was like, it was like, and then COVID hit and then plummets. Is it TikTok? Spider-Man, why do you think there was a shift? I, well, I thought about this because I've been trying to.

AI TikTok. Because I can't fix wealth inequality, I've been trying to fix Halloween, which is number two on my list. And the biggest thing is fear. That's part of it. So true. Fear.

but fear's good on Halloween. It's an opposite day in that way. The other thing is laziness. I don't think kids are lazy. No, not the kids, the parents. What? I think supervised trick-or-treating is a pox on the society,

and we should send the children out in groups unsupervised to Rome. I think the kids should have purge rules. For Halloween night only? For Halloween night only, but they have to be unsupervised. by a parent. If they have a parent, that's a buff, and they cannot have any purge rules. Does that mean the kids can commit crimes or the kids can commit crimes to each other?

The kids can commit any crimes. You must offend your home from the kids. From the kids. I like that. Okay. I don't know if I like that. I would kill so many. That feels you have your perjuals. I'm not allowed. The kids had the perjules. That feels fair, right? Also, if you could, you would kill several kids. I'm saying if they all attacked my house at once, I'd set up the 50 cow. It just sounds like you were excited at the age. I'm just saying, I'd be like... I'm like... ...cuh-cuh-cuh-cuh-cuh-cuh-cuh-cuh-cuh-cuh-cuh.

And they're... And they want like a snickers. So in this... You're a 50-cali mini gun. Huh? Yeah, well, you got it. Yeah, you'll have to defend your territory. Yeah.

It's like kids are just... They're just... There's tracer rounds going off and filling them with light. You've seen the beginning of Marvel Warfare too. No, I have. have, yeah. Yeah. But just imagine it's all kids. Remember no trick-or-treating. No trick-in.

Yeah, I, you know what they do is trunk-or-treating. We talked about this. Trunk-or-treating? Trunk-or-treating? What the hell is that? That sounds like a kidnapping scheme. What is it? You go to a parking lot, all right? You back your trunk up. Everyone's trunk to trunk. Okay. Create a whole line of it. Open up the trunk and then set up

your trick-or-treats. And then the kid just walks down the fucking line. So it's like a dirt mall. Oh, that's cool. It's like a flea market for trick-or-trade. Dude, that's dark because- It's not dark. The shit fell off. That's dark.

That's fucking dark. Imagine a kid gets snatched and then you see a fucking a Buick just go drive away. I don't think- And they're bouncing around the truck bed like a dog. Have you seen a Buick whose trunk is fucking... What is that? It's like Jolly Ranchers and a child like bounce it out of the...

That's scary. No, I don't. Because you are literally saying we should do the purge for kids. No, I'm saying that. A Buick in a fucking parking lot is. is a concern. It's the purge for kids. Not, the kids get to purge. I might not don't want to defend myself from kids fucking just climbing in my house like animals. In the hypothetical kid purge, I don't think you should get to

defend yourself. I think it's like where the chips are. What do? I just have to sit there? I think you have to you can that's crazy. You can block the doors. Like you can rebuild the windows like in zombies, but I think that's it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Non-lethal. I think you can punch them if they get through your window. Okay, what about stun grenades? That's fine. In your house, though. Okay. No, I think on the street it's probably fine.

No, because then it gets proactive. People get proactive with it and you can't have that. But what? They're gonna go out and they're gonna stun grenade kids and laugh and go back inside. Absolutely. But I'm gonna also kill them. I think what you do is you find a clump of them. You throw a stun grenade and then you have to like fucking like hammer throw them out of your...

What does a stun grenade do in real life? A concussion grenade? I think it just makes a really loud noise and fucking sucks. So it's, but it's different than a flash grenade. I think that's the same. I don't know. And Call of Duty, they're separate. They are separate, but I don't know.

We should get one. Love it. Can you do a video? I got hit by a concussion grenade. Ooh, I could, yeah. Yeah, I could do that. Sponsored by, I've been hit by several, actually. As Spider-Man or is lovely?

MK3, designed to produce casualties. Okay. Okay, well, that's a lethal one. So what's the video I'm doing again? So, presumably Red Bull would get you one of these. Yeah, it's a Red Bull shaped canister. A concussion grenade is a lethal thing to call it. I thought it gave you a concussion.

I was like, oh, my head. I'm sure it does. Sure. The Cam Scataboo grenade. And you should get CTE from one bang. Oh, that's cool. The Travis Kelsey grenade. And it just makes a moo sound because he likes them the most.

It's a grenade that you go like this And it's like He's like He's like wow What is in there? Is there a little guy in there? It's a grenade that doesn't fall over When you spill it

It's a squishy grenade You can put your penis in the middle You could like slap it on your wrist I mean should we get to the meat And the potatoes? The meat and the potatoes We joked about doing a candy tier list And

I feel like this is the best time of year To actually do it And I think we could do it better than Kai did. I think we easily do it better than Kai did. I think we easily do it better than Kai did. Dude, you were screaming. You were talking about their candy tillers like they were the dumbest guys alive.

Me? Yeah. We were talking about. You were pissed. Maybe it was Mike. Made this up. One of us was mad. And it probably was you.

No, what I said is, which is why you're hiding. I said, look how funny it is that we were like we should do a candy tier list and then that week they did one. Oh, I was more talking about the opinions that they were holding about the candy. Yeah, I didn't watch it.

I didn't watch the... But I'm sure it was bad and I'm sure ours would be better. Wow! Candy tier list. So we have five categories, guys. We have goaded candies. We have candies that I'm not sharing.

We have candy. This is just candy. It checks every box and nothing more or less. Then we have bag filler. You know, this is just to make the bag look fucking bigger. Sure. And then we have Thanos snap. We're getting rid of that.

That candy is off of the market. It shouldn't exist. I'm excited because, For one, I'm Fat Kratos today, and two, Ludwig is on a diet. I am. I want you to know if a candy is up here and you don't see it, you reserved a right to make Zipper do work and add it. Yes, to the final tier list, to play along in the game at home.

So shall we? Zipar, you can just pull them up and we'll go. One is called Candy. I'm excited about that one. I can tell you're excited for this. Sorry, you can be fat. Oh, you're on a diet? It's about time.

For what? It. I look good right now. I'm snatched. You do look good. You always look good. Wait, tell me,

tell me, compare. I'm snatched. You rate in the chat. Put it out. Put it out. More snatched. Put it out nasty.

I think the, I like what he puts it out nasty. You put it out so nasty for me. Well, let me touch it. Oh, okay. Should we distract? My tummy with your fur.

Yeah. What's the first one? I don't know. I'm waiting for to pick one. Milky Way. When I was a kid, I had a bunk bed, even though I didn't have a sibling.

Isn't that weird? uh yeah what the fuck said i don't know well i had a sibling but we didn't share a room but i had a bunk bed i think maybe i asked for it and got it i think i wanted a bunk bed for like sleepovers do you just get what you wanted when you would ask for it yeah i feel like whatever you wanted you got to a certain year and then i stopped getting as much of what i wanted but yeah generally i think i got what i wanted um but when i was a kid i was eating a milky way on the top bunk of my bed and i think I had a friend over on like the under bunk playing Call Duty or something and I just threw up the Milky Way

over the bunk bed down to the bottom and it was like the second time I had ever thrown up in my whole life it was really small it was just like a like a cat would and then I didn't eat Milky Way for like five years yeah I had the stomach flu and I ate a bunch of red hots the day before and then now to this day red huts make me sick

red hots are nasty They are nasty, but I threw them all up. Dude, that's a bad puke. Do you claw to open it? Where is it? Oh, here it is. So, Milky Way, I mean, I'll just say it right out. I think this is just candy.

I have never, if you meet somebody, Milky Way is so nothing. It's so 40 degree a day. If you meet somebody who likes Milky Way, I think that person doesn't exist. Well, I think Milky Way's were created when we had like six ingredients. Maybe.

It was a pre-red 40 universe. But then it's like, there's Snickers. That's always there for you and Milky Way is just... Wait, so it was before autism. Yes. Yes. It was because it was the 1950s. So take us back to the good.

To the Milky Way days. Soda fountains, two water fountains, and Milky Way. I would like to give a nuanced perspective on the Milky Way because what I like about the Milky Way is you got this like nuggety inside and that kind of hard shell outside. And there's a nice, you break it with your teeth and you feel the difference. What are you from Mars company? That is different.

That is different Than the experience of a Snickers bar A Snickers bar feels like it's one consistent Big thing This is amazing This is like an M&M It's like there's a shell And there's an inside

And you can enjoy them separately Is it goaded? No Hell no Is it not sharing it? Look at Look at I'm not

Eric Snickers does that It's candy It's good Why am I listening to like Ad copy from the Milky Lake I don't know I think Look I didn't know

You felt this strongly about Mickey Waste especially since you threw it up, but I think it is outclassed by everything in its tier. We're all with you in everything Nick's saying is dumb. I might even go as far as to say it's bagfiller. Whoa. I'm with you, man.

It's candy. Sorry, I'm not. Come on now. It's close to bagfiller. I'm not kidding. It's bag filler material. Dude, imagine you're out of steak dinner. Okay.

Be with me for example. Don't laugh. Be with me. Yeah, okay. Imagine you're at a steak dinner. Right. And you're sorry. Are we in the same?

Sorry, are we dressed this? And you're on a date with a fucking batty. You're on a date with the toughest, okay? But am I dressed the same? Yeah, you are in your fantasy. You're dressed like that. Right now I'm imagining show you a Tony a day with Cameron Brink. And she's giving you a fur job out of the tape, okay?

One of the tape fur. And anyway, so you eat your steak, it's so savory. You get some mashed potatoes, you get some corn, all sorts of savory, fucking crazy shit. You're like, waiter, check. I couldn't have another bite waiter. And then the check comes. And on top of the check is a little unwrapped. single year mini, milky way

and you take a bite. I take that bite and it melts on your time. I yell Kid Purge and I go Boom! Kid Purge! Tell me in that moment. In that moment, that that's bag filler. You know what I'm saying? Yes. Yes. Because you know what I say? I was like,

why not as Snickers? Yeah. And then I leave a two star review. And my baddie would look to me and she would go, this is kind of a broke restaurant, isn't it? They're giving you wrapped Milky Way for the dessert.

I want it the Milky Way. I think you have a strong opinion on this and we have... What do you think? You're the tiebreaker. You just ate one. Well, actually, you're not a tiebreaker. You just put one in your mouth and shoot it. What do you... I think it's candy, but you guys keep referencing

Snickers, which I've never eaten. What? Magica! You ever had a snickers? So maybe I'm boosting it. Have you had that? the Bear Bell protein bars? I don't think so.

Wait, the ones we have here. Maybe. I don't think that Aiden was allowed to eat candy. Were you allowed to eat candy? Because it has peanuts in it. Right, he's allergic. Duh. He's allergic. What a roller coaster of emotion.

We're going to make you eat one today. We were all freaking out. We're going to watch you swell up like a balloon. What do we do? It's two to two. I'm in the candy tier. We need a way to decide this. I think Ty goes in favor of the higher rank. All right, Tygo's in favor of the higher rank, it's candy.

Okay, bottom of candy. Sure, bottom of candy. It's close to bag filler. All right. One X. Pulled up. Just pick one. Don't think about it.

Jolly Ranchers. It's so, Are these just regular jollies? No, this is gummies. This is Jolly Rancher Gummies. It's so hard to get the candy out of the bag with these. Yeah, your claw makes you useless. We have Shaq candy.

Wait, I opened it. Shack's gonna be interesting. Wait, so this is Jolly Rancher Gummies? Yes. I'm gonna do this a different way. Hey, I'm getting creative, guys. Am I dumb as brick? Oh my god. I forgot about these candies Wait, let me just get one of yours. I found them They don't talk about how hard it is to do shit as a furry. They don't tell you. I think I have to go mask off

Fuck it mask on. Oh, this is a hard gummy. Oh, these are interesting. Okay, so I think I mean the gummies are this is a new development in in human being kind, right? But they taste just like Jolly Ranchers. They're just simply not hard, um, which is just But dare I say that the Jolly Rancher's spirit is to be hard? A hundred percent. I think hard's out. Hard's out?

I think we live in a soft society and people want their candy to reflect the softness that they feel. Okay, you're making a joke about like the cultural stuff, but I think you're right. I think hard candy is hard. I'm right about this. I know. Do you think this is a disgusting liberal candy? God, they tried it. It's so different now that I've tried it.

This is a liberal candy that is designed. to keep us soft I would put this at bag filler It's not I would say no snap it Guys Can I tell you Can I give you a nuanced take on Jolly Rancher Gummies I have a nuanced take after yours

I don't want to say Nick imagine you're at a steak dinner And it's in a you're with the bad You're the baddest And show you tony's there Imagine you had a dinner with steak The company And they just offered you a 30 trillion dollar deal

Yeah And all you have to do is eat this bad And JZ's there Because you get it all Yeah yeah I'm banks It's a great value. Okay. My guilty pleasure

with gummy candy, all gummy candy is I like to open the bag and then I maybe I eat one but then I just kind of leave it there. And then the next day when it's stale and it's got tougher exterior

that's when I like it. You're doing the Kyle Shields I only drink soda when it's flat because my tummy hurts. Yeah, but I don't think it's less of a departure from what the original form is. It's just a bit of a hardness.

I don't like, I don't like when gummy candy is too chewy. I like when it's a little bit more tough. A similar example. Now and ladders used to be the hardest thing on the damn block. Yeah, yeah. You eat a now and later and it's bad. You might lose a tooth.

That was my favorite now and later. I loved it. And then when they reverted and they were like, now we went soft, we lost dick. You know what's funny. I said, now and laders fell off. Soft candies can become hard, but hard candies cannot become soft.

Yo. And I think we should think about that. Yes. Yes. Yes. And I let to say, this is a hard gummy. This is tougher than your average gummy. It is a little tougher. And that makes me like it.

This candy, the toughest. Now, let me, let me be a bit of an expert. I, you see Jolly Ranchers all the time. There was a, the context. The context was I would take any money I had and go buy them at the store. And there was one penny here. I go down to the store. I get one Jolly Rancho.

There was a, yeah, I live on County Island. And there was, I go up to the fucking gas station. and I got Jolly Rangers. I've eaten most of my childhood. It's probably when I'm fucked up. This is crazy. And so I... The amount of Red 40 you suck.

Yeah, I was going to say the same thing. So, I mean, I could talk for an hour on the tier list of flavors themselves and how they've changed. But I will say this is very faithful to how Jolly Rangers taste. It is. But I would say, I think you lose the soul

of what a Jolly Rancher is and maybe I'm an old head and I wish they were hard. I wish they were hard. That's awesome. You wish they were as hard as a Jolly Rancho. I think this... Well, can I ask the question?

Because we don't have jolly ranchers here. So where would you put Jolly Rancher? But Jolly Ranchers themselves, original as candy. And I would put Jolly Rancher Gummies as bagfiller. And I would implore you all to kill yourselves if you disagree with me. Okay. Wow. Look, I think that bagfiller is a bit of a weird category because I like these, but I agree with

their bagfiller. I think that when we make these weird variations of candy, it's like what are we doing? What are we doing? What are we doing? To me, bag fillers like it's not worth the calories. That's how I perceive it. Yeah. Like I'm not, I'm not gonna finish this because I don't care to consume that amount of sugar on this product. I would never ever seek these out. In fact, I would then, I'll snap them. That's interesting tag. I would get rid of these. I would get rid of them. Yeah, we have we have fucking watermelon, sour patch kids. Hey, hey, I think they're good enough to exist in the bag. Before we go too far, let's bag filler them. Before

this goes anywhere crazy. I'm a little scared It's bag filler. Dano snap is for shit that like is like kills us. It's like terrible. Do you guys like when you when you got your candy It's really bad When you got all your candy as a kid Did you? Because you can't eat

all the candy at once. Yeah So I can damn well try. Okay I will though. I'm just what I'm gonna do. I Divide I okay I couldn't eat the candy all at once You got one of those medicine things and then went Sunday Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday. Almost.

Like, I divvied up the candy into, like, the types or the categories that, like, I actually liked and didn't like. And then you did a bracket. And this one, you know, I eat this one, maybe a month later. And it's so easy to make fun of you right now. There's too many avenues and choices.

I'm going to leave it at. Name one thing you can make fun of me right now. Mame fucking one thing. You got me. Got me. Guess I can't think of any. He's got us. Yeah. Guy who's allergic to peanuts.

Like, it literally is so many things. It's crazy. You're giving me so many avenues. When I, my mom actually halted, she, she limited me, because I would have eaten it all in a day. But she's like, you can only have some candy from Halloween. I had it in this big Mickey Mouse pillowcase. And one day I snuck it, oh, I got in so much trouble. I snuck it out.

I got up in the cupboard. I took it out, this giant fucking pillowcase of candy. And I'm like, rooting through it. While I'm doing this, my, my, the side of my body goes against the stove burner. And we eat a gas stove turns on the burner and it lights the pillowcase on fire. I'm not kidding. It lights it on fire I don't know what to you

I'm home alone I was a latch key kid Did you lose your Did you lose your candy or just the pillowcase Well I like poured water on it Yeah and some of it was like burnt And then my mom was like What the fuck happened when she came home

And I had to explain You're not cleaning that up in time Oh no well I Also it's like the pillowcase With Mickey Mouse blue pillowcase is burnt Parents don't fuck around with fire They ooh I went to a friend's house

I live a match Ain't that right Yeah Yes, it is, Nick. Ain't that the truth? Yes, it is. I went to a friend's house and I lit a match. They just had a box of matches and I lit one.

And that just blew it out instantly. And then his mom came home, smelled the match, but kicked us all out. Gave him a 45 minute chewing too. I wasn't allowed to him back. They thought you were smoking weed. That's what happened. Uh, no. Well, I thought you were just using fire?

Yeah, I think so. I wish she slapped the dog shit out of you. It would have put it. It would have put you in your place. If she slept. slapped the dog shit out of me. Yeah, that would be your place. I was like maybe 12.

Oh, my cheeky little laugh. He's making a dumb and snarky little joke. They're just matches. I went back. I went back the next day. And what did you do? Kid purge. Uh-oh.

I climbed in her bathroom and I fucking step her day. Hey, Mrs. B, it's the kid purge. Bet you didn't hear about it because you don't use fucking the internet or anything awesome. And I Stabberd is Not as big up What next? Can we do candy corn

Candy corn? Sure Okay It's a top bro This is a divisive ass candy Bro Oh my God

Wait Guys Candy corn Very divisive What I don't like I got a lot to say Right off rip What I don't like

Is that this isn't a zip up bag That's true Why is this in a zip up Because Rich Rich had to like Buy a bunch Can you get there? Nice

Nice Good job Rich, were these sold like this? Oh, you did it yourself? Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Every candy corn is sold in the same excessively large bag with 4,000 pieces. Can I tell you guys something?

Can we all just discuss? How do you eat candy corn? One by one, bitch. Oh, sometimes you eat, yeah, use part. So you go, you go teeth white, right? Break it off? That's a clean line. Two, we're going orange.

I've never seen you. That is a clean line. Look, you can see just the babiest amount of orange. He has clean lines. He's talking about candies, like the cring. as he's ever pit. What do you mean? And this,

you don't realize this, this is the corn. You see it? I feel like the- I'm learning. I feel like the girl in the baseball meme where it's the guy

looking over and explaining shit. Then he goes, then you cut off the white part and then the orange part. And then the yellow. I think, and none of this hurts me because I fucking know

I'm a candy head. And by the way, and it looks like corn. I think he's so passionate about this and it's something I rarely see because he's so irony poisoned and sad.

That's how I thought you'd say. Okay, I mean, let me speak my piece. Oh, here, let me do it like you, Ludwig. I think it's in the middle. No, it's the middle. Next. I've been the only one is- No strong opinion.

You guys are the middle ones. No personality in my opinion. I love that you came direct from my LSF comment, but I really been the only one who stood on business saying bagfill or Thanos snap. And you guys are like, maybe you put it in the middle. Look at your tier list.

Bro, I was gonna put it... I was gonna put it higher than candy. I said, bagfiel or backfiel or Thanos Snap and all of a sudden, you're calling me middle of the road and you have two candies. You are middle of the road, bro. Thanos snap. You know what?

I'm getting roadhead and you're in the middle of the road. That's where different, bro. I don't understand. And I got a road hog. I got a road hog. Say, I'm the only one who fucking standing on shit. You, I mean, I'm just, I'm explaining, look, today you're standing on it a little bit.

But usually, you only wag it around your cheek a little bit. Yeah. Okay. But I'm standing on it. you only do a counterclockwise. So why are we talking about yesterday? What are we living there? I mean,

he, he, you came at his neck and then why you want his side? I'm just because he's, because where am I at today? He's articulating himself. And I'm sitting on shit today.

And you made fun of him for articulating himself. It's true. I made fun of him for saying. Is it a quality in me that you'd get rid of Ludwig? Would you fan of that snap that quality in me? Yes. Or is it back? No, say it.

You don't mean that. Tell me you mean it. Tell me you mean it. Tell me you mean it. I would Thanos snap the quality that, uh, regurgitates internet shit. I'm talking about,

Oh, yeah, I would... You get rid of it? Tell me, you get rid of it. No, look at me. Don't go away. Don't go away. That Milky Way speech. All right, I'll be different now.

I'll be different the rest episode. He's gonna be different. I'll be like you. You leave. Don't be harmful. Don't be harmful, man. You don't be harmful, man. You don't want that part of me.

I don't like that part of me. I'll stop being out. And from the Mars company, candy corn. And from the Mars company, we have candy corn. And the wonderful thing about this is that it's chewy, but soft. You sound like one of those people selling a watch

at like an auction on TV. Yeah, yeah, the QVC. The CVC of candy. Listen, can I talk about candy cards? I have so much to say. Can I? You may. Can I talk about candy corn?

Because it feels like I can't. I'm just a fucking wolf, man. You knew whatever you want. Yeah, this shit probably kills, like, your, like, animals. I can't even digest it. Yeah. I think this should be dano snapped. Dude, I think it should be gone.

I think this candy sucks. I don't even care. that it's candy and it still tastes good because it's processed. Up top. I think it should be, I hate people who talk about liking it and I don't want them to talk about it anymore. But I was gonna do that. I hate Aiden's girlfriend. Yeah.

Oh, she likes candy corn. She loves candy corn. Yeah, it's probably... I hate my fucking girlfriend. It's probably her... Why do you all girls like fucking candy corn. It doesn't make any sense. I don't think girls like it.

Girls love candy corn. Look at the data. I think it's just two of them. Does your girl like candy corn? No, my girl's normal. They all got weird. I haven't asked me. but I don't have alien girls.

Yeah. Okay. I've been eating this while you're talking. I love candy corn. I love it. It's good. I don't know why we hate it. There's no reason to hate shit.

We can't live our lives hating shit all the time. That's good. That's what you do. It's your thing. We can't do that. Candy corn, it's also like this staple. Guy defending Hitler in 1939. I might be Candy corn's biggest defender.

But the thing is, it just, it needs more, it needs better marketing, but maybe it doesn't need it. That's the issue. Candy corn, it does not need better marketing at all. We had to buy a giant bag of it and put it in little bags. That's bad. You don't even know what the brand is and we still eat it. Isn't that crazy? That's how strong the product is.

It is crazy. Which I hate to admit. I hate to admit it. I think candy corn was, I have to imagine it was the first candy for Halloween. I think it's awesome. I consider it candy. I would even say not chairing, but you guys need to figure this shit out. I mean, this is just... We don't need to figure shit out.

It's Thanos snap. Three of us say it's the Thanos snap. It's Thanos snap. Oh, I guess you lose. Oh. Yeah, that's... Yeah. It's terrible. I just won it on the Senate record that I stood here. I voted yes on 50, so even if it gets no, I voted yes. I voted yes. I voted yes. That's my voting record. And when we are in fucking war with Afghanistan in 2035. You were the one guy who voted no. I said, no, I didn't want, I don't want to do that. I just feel like there's better shit to spend our time on. Are you, like in eating candy? I think this is, like if I see my kid eating this I'm hitting my kid.

I see kid. Yeah. Dude. Yeah, but I see candy corn and I'm like, that this is a good day. I pepped up at my step up. Candy corn eating son or thought daughter? Thought daughter. Of course. I respect her choices and it's really not. She doesn't. Sexuality is not really nice.

That's what she said. I don't like people call her thought too. Next one. Weren't they no snapping it, men. It's Thanos snap. Pick one zipper. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. I've never had an almond joy. Almond joy is the greatest candy. Did you still, God damn it.

Dude, everyone hates you. I'm fucking figured it out. I'm fucking figured it out. Also, Kenny Horace Thanos snap, zipper. Almond joy is the, uh, it's the greatest candy in this bag. This would be the first one that I ate every time. Wait, you, you've had and love almond joy. I love almond joy.

Can I ask you a question? Yes. Should I bite the almond side or the non-almon side? That's the fun part. So what you do? I can just feel it. I don't even know what they look like. Let me show you how to eat an almond joy. You take it.

They don't get too detailed. You take it. We'll fucking crucify you. I know. On a cross. Too detailed. Crair's will never end up on a cross. Threads of vocabulary needle.

He's Greek and the old one before Christianity. So what you do is you take it. You bite an almond. Yeah. And then you remove it. And then you eat the rest. That's my favorite way to do it. I'll do it that way.

I like that. I've never done it this way. I love almond joys. They're really good. I think. For me, it's between goaded and not sharing. I'm not kidding. Oh, my God, you hate it?

Are you allergic to almonds? No. So I think what I love about it is the amount of peanuts in it. What? It's called almond joy. It's an almond joy. The inside tastes exactly like a Samoa. It is coconut.

It's like coconut with sweet and condensed milk or whatever. It's the same shit that's in like a macaron. I love coconut. People, like coconut had this weird history in the night. Andies in early 2000s for being, like, disgusting, like, autistic slop. Like, if you like coconut, you're a fucking freak. This is a thing? Yeah, I think he's unpacking something.

No, no, it's, it's, it's, like, you bring coconut school, and everyone's calling you fucking godass. And everybody calls you coconut. I swear, you can look attracted. All the, it's in media, coconut is, like, weirdly bastardized. It's, it's out of the, that doesn't happen anymore. But I, growing up, I ate coconut shit, and I was like, I like it a lot. I love coconut shit.

Fan of coconut. I'm with you. You know those little desserts. It's talking about the macrones where it's, like the coconuts and then the bottom's like dipped in chocolate. Yes, bitch. I eat a thousand of those. Yes, bitch. I would even a thousand of those until I became the size of a balloon. Yes, I would become big Mario

flying through the air. And I would fly over, I'd fly over any city. I think it's failing out the bag. Why? This is tough. What do you even like? What do you even like? Yeah, what's going to come? Sorry, they're so yeah. That's so tall. That's so tough. And I get a lot of it in this. It's sure. What would, what? I'm trying to think of what's going to come up

that Aiden's going to be like, this is the best. The almond joy is making me feel a lot of things, right? Because one, it has the option to be a game, which I really appreciate out of candy. It's very important, clearly important for me. Two, the inside tastes nothing like the top. Like, there's two layers to this. This is a multi-stage process of eating

with multiple experiences, but I really like. It reminds me of a different thing I like, which is, I guess I should say caramel delights because Samoa's the canceled version. Ah. With Samo's or the canceled version? We call him Cromeda lights now. Because American Samoa?

I guess. I don't know. I feel like it's probably on the frame. It's probably fine to say. Do we call them... Girlscouts got scared. Or the woke mob. Girl Scouts got scared.

Woke came for the Girl Scouts. But at the same time... And so did I, because it's the kid perj. At the same time... Throw a concussion grenade in front of the fucking Albertsons, taking out 13 Girl Scouts kids. At the same time, I could not eat another one.

one of those. That is so fucking rich. That was so rich. But isn't that what we want out of candy? Is like a one shot, one and done? I don't think I do. Like when I get some candy I'm like trying to eat a bag at the movie theater. Imagine getting a fucking big ass almond joy at the movie theater. I can't eat popcorn. I think that's a different venue. Because sometimes you're, it's movie candy and sometimes it's not. You need something that

lasts a while that pairs with the world's greatest nachos. I forgot about that. Yeah. Yeah, that's why you got mad. Yes, because we're looking at Nick and he's talking like he's a sommelier, and this is the same guy went to Oregal theaters, came back going, dude, the nachos, what the best thing I've ever eaten.

My compliment to the chef. You made my ear. Hold on, let's see. Taiwan. It's 2010. Taiwan manufacturing candy corn in the greatest chips. I would say that the candy corn that was made

in the 90s is the shit we're still eating today. It never, it can't deteriorate. When it enters your body, it never gets broken down. And when we run out, they run out forever. The thing about almond joy, this might be a bastardization of the category, but I would share an almond joy. Like, I would say, yeah, you take the side without the fucking almond and I'll have the awesome almond side.

Sure. I mean, I think that messes with the tier list. It's more of like, if there's an almond joy on the table and we both look at it, I'm kind of running to get it. You know, I want that. What's your vote? You don't get it. I'm goaded.

What's your vote? Goaded? What's your vote? A bag filler. Oh my God, what's your vote? You're not sharing, I think. I love almond joy. A coconuty aftertaste that I'm enjoying.

Pause. I'll negotiate up to candy. I'm saying firm at goaded. I mean, I don't, it's hard. I've never seen him squirm like this. I've never made... Because it's the record. It's a set at record.

I've never seen him be uncertain like this. He's made so many. callous decisions about so many things. He's putting more thought that is almond joint goaded or is like mark a ply or pedophile. That one he's like, I know for sure. Or I don't. It's either he did or he didn't. And that's what's easy, but this has nuance.

I think I'll give it goaded. I think I give it goaded. And you know what? It was my dead mom's favorite candy too. It was my mom's favorite candy, but she's alive. Well, I guess mine doesn't matter anymore because the two went out for goaded. I would have said top of candy. Well, wait, well, your vote does matter. Yeah, does it diminish? Like, does it? Oh, you moved up to candy? I'm, I

negotiated up to candy. Oh, there's two candy. But two candies. I don't think the way it should work is if you go Thanos snap, he goes bag filler, we both go goaded. It just goes goaded, right? Yeah, I think so. I think so. I think it's average to not sharing. Yes. I think so. Okay. And that's fine. That's fine. That's what I, that's also what I maybe would have a bottom of not sharing maybe is what I would have, uh, accepted. All right. next one sweet tarts oh my god

growing up I loved sweet tarts oh I love a sweet tart I'm gonna feel like shit at the end of this I know people are gonna say the sweet tart even just by form factor what aiden it's like sweetheart dude I never realize

that people used to say sweet tart in my school to you about you yeah when he would do something nice for other people that's what they called them Why does it say bold? And the other side says calm.

What does it look like? Wait, these are... It's the pink and blue bag. Sweet tarts. Yeah, they're built like an aspirin tab. So, something about sweet tarts. I love I have a platform that I can talk about my thoughts for the first time in my life. Is I like, I like chalky things.

I like chalky candies. I like smarties. I like sweet tarts. I like bottle caps. I don't think they're on here, but I would put that as 100% goaded. anything that makes a chucky taste in my mouth I enjoy it very much sweet tarts are tough

and the reason why sweet tarts are a little love and hate is because if you eat too many of them they burn a hole in your tongue this has happened to me and I'm sure it's happened to you guys no that very my life it happens you suck on them too long

or you just eat enough so there is a pain that comes with the sweet tart and I think that's very interesting but it's a point against it I would put sweet tarts Like a sour candy is how you experience it Like they I mean they just have an absurd amount of citric acid

I think in it And that's what it hits you I would put it as candy I'm happy to see it But I'm not jumping for joy But if it's gone I do notice it It's not only the perfect candy Like it's a candy

Because I actually would say that Smarties are bag of failure But sweet tarts they add that little bit more That makes it candy for that Those are rockets for my Canadian it's listening. Smarties? No. Yeah. Smarties. American smarties are rockets.

And smarties are M&Ms, no? And smarties are basically M&M. Have you guys seen the big smarties? Dude, they're like the size of fucking half dollars. I wouldn't like that. They're crazy. My ability to dominate the whole the whole Smarty in like one bite is a big part of that experience. Remember that fucking necklace that was filled with Smarties like candy?

Why? He was the grossest shit ever. And you could bite it in half and then you could pull the string back and you could shoot it at someone. So fun and I used to pull my mouth open. And I got. and then and then bruise the oh yeah dude it hits your first two teeth

and it goes and then you go to Spencers and you can buy the same thing but their underwear yeah and you would I didn't have sex at that point no but you still buy them

this is like 17 I only went to GameStop of course you did of course you did sweetheart very good sweetie these are candy to me yeah I'm candy yeah

how do you feel about sweethearts at least of candy what are your thoughts Oh, they I, I, I, they have a sweetness than a tartness A sweetness, tart

taste it both Do you like them? Do you hate them? I enjoy that. There's the candy, anything candy and above would be something I rolled up, look the person in the eyes

and you have that little moment when you're trick or treating where they're handing you the candy and you're waiting to see if they're giving you something shit because I remember having that thought as a kid where if they handed me something I didn't like it was like, what are you even fucking doing here, man?

It's like, why, why, not just close down the goddamn house if you're going to give me that. Close shop. Because this has to be a money laundering operation for what you're dishing out. Yeah. Oh my god. And this was something I was excited to get. Do you guys remember bouncing on dick for whoever had the full size candy bars? Oh my god. Let me write it all 50. Now that I'm, now that I'm the one to have my dick bounced on. What the fuck? By who? What? By who? Like probably Spider-Man or fucking like hey no. It's really whoever comes to the door. Or like, it's just a variety.

Dude, I'm a big candy bar house. Let me tell you, we only got two trick-or-treaters last year. It's all I had all these big... I had fucking feastables, bro. Yeah, I also had an absurd amount of feastables and I had zero trick-or-treaters. The kid's crazy. One kid came up and cut out and cutie gave them

like a pallet. Yeah, just like here. Oh my God. Did you have that thing when you were younger where you'd hit different neighborhoods while you were trick-or-treating, right? Like maybe your mom or your friend's mom would drive you to different blocks.

neighborhoods. And then the prime time in the night is like, all right, we're going to the rich neighborhood. Yes. We know we got the big houses. The big houses. And then, and you'd collect. Yes. You collect. Uh, yeah, I would get fucking trained out all night for a big candy bar. I don't care. I would. And it was the kid purge, so it was fine. It's like, it's like fast food at school, man. It hits different on Halloween. Oh my God. A big candy bar. You could have one any day normally. Go to 7-11, get a big candy bar. On Halloween, though, it's just like I'm like sloppy Ludwig. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Feel me out like an application.

All right, next one. We'll just go in order so we don't have to wait to see which one he picks. Three musketeers. I don't have one. Does anyone have one? Three musketeers. Slime keeps talking about every single candy like an old friend you just remember. They do, they are. Candy is like the way that I interacted with happiness as a kid. You want another half? No, I know. I know everything about three musketeers.

I do know everything about three musketeers as well. Oh, still tastes like shit. Yeah. Yeah. Hey, put her there. You know what? I had a phase

where I didn't like Three Musketeers and then I flipped. Because I was like, everyone was trading them and so I was buying low in the trade sessions on Three Musketeers because it's like,

oh my God. They're so slept on. I can trade Tootsie rolls for this. Guys. And I actually think they're not that bad. This is what I threw up. Oh, it was a Three Muskier's not a Milky Way. It all came back.

So I want to know if anybody relates to this of being gaslit into liking Three Musketeers. This is the first time in my life I realized that marketing does work on me because I remember watching really fun Three Musketeers commercials that made the candy look really good. Something about the texture

and what they said in the commercials. I can't even remember the specific ones. But I remember watching that and being like, I cannot wait to eat three musketeers and then I would get it in my candy bucket and I sinking a couple years of like yep three musketeers I like it and then at some point I just grew up and realize I've never liked this candy yeah I can make my own decisions yeah and I don't have to like it I don't have to I don't have to like it tastes like throw up to me I can't I can't vote it's just a worse version

of a milky way in every way I like the rapping that doesn't count it's a wraper I think it should count I think you should count. I like it. You like the branding? I like the silver wrapping, yeah. I look at it. I think they had a really cool, like, stop motion three musketeers commercials.

Like, it was very cute. That's what I remember the most besides the fact that I hated having them. I don't look like a baseball team or something. To me, this is bag filler. Yeah, remember? These? Yeah, they were great, dude.

It's kind of an awesome commercial. Yeah, this looks awesome. That's what I'm saying. It only looked awesome. And then they just put shit in the wrapper. This is bag filler. It's Backfiller or Thanos snap. I have, I think I, for the first time.

Oh, Thanos snap might be fair because then we can just have Milky Way. What amazing claymation. Oh, look at that. Yeah, they make it look so good. I will say, though, three musketeers get a massive buff when you put them in the freezer because they don't fully freeze. I hate freezer guys. Yeah, me too.

Don't I put shit in the freezer. Freezer's not where things go. I hate that culture where it's only good if you do these seven steps. Oh, my God, dude, we are so on the same level. Can I call an expert? You tug yourself off and then you have the rubber van. Musketeers expert? You're going through the

musketeers and he's going through the layers of his gilly suit to get his phone. I'm calling an expert, bro. I'm not on three musketeers, are you? What? On three musketeers? On candy.

Okay, okay. An expert on candy. For this one, I think we just throw a bag filler call out a day, no? Bono of a bag filler. Yeah, I think we do. Bono of a bag filler.

Sure. And great job on the marketing. Oh, oh, Pixie sticks! Pixie sticks! Hey, I got a question for you. Sorry, I'm doing the podcast. No, you're good. You're all the podcasts right now?

Yeah. Jeez. When evaluating candy... It's 1140 a.m. Should we consider how it tastes if you were to put it in the freezer? Um... What's like a... What kind of candy are you talking about, though?

Like three musketeers. Huh? Like three musketeers? Yeah. Oh, chocolate? Yeah. I guess so. We did that with Pop-Tarts.

And I don't know. You ever put chocolate in the fridge? I do all the time. Me too, man. It's pretty good in the fridge. Who's saying that they don't? Ludwig. Okay, well, he's rich.

And he's under a lot of hot water right now. So because of what you said. All right, buddy, thanks for backing me up. I'll see. I'll talk to you later. All right. I might have to fucking give this one up. Pixie six?

Pixie six. What? Pixie sticks are here. What is that about? Wait, it's this, right? Yeah, you guys ever had this shit? I don't want to trade. I have purple.

Have you ever had it? I'll trade, I'll trade, I'll trade, I'll trade, I'll trade, I'll trade, I'll trade, I'll trade, I'll trade, I'll trade, no, no, no. If you like purple, you're weird. Wait, I love purple. No, I hate purple. Orange is definitely not my favorite. It's everyone's favorite, it's everyone's favorite, but I will take orange. I hate, purple is always the worst.

I think I always confused about how you are meant to eat these. You just dump it, right? Dump it in their mouth. You could do whatever you want. You can do whatever you want. Guys, you can take your time. What is this? Or you can pour it all in your mouth.

You can pour it all in your mouth at once and kind of go like... What I used to do is I would eat it with the paper. And you can eat with the paper as well. That's the other way to eat the pixie stick. You just bite the whole thing. We're American kids, boy. You can eat the paper. Shut up, bitch.

You can eat the paper. You can't eat the paper. What are you taught? You're eating the paper. Sometimes you can eat the paper. You don't have to swallow the paper. I'm not fucking with you. Yeah, and then you do that.

That is so gross. I'm not kidding. It's the same. Same thing as sunflower seeds. Oh yeah, what you can also do is kind of like wet it and then kind of like bite it out like toothpaste or whatever. Guys, get rid of it. Get rid of it. Get rid of it.

What the fuck do we need this for? I'm down to Thanos snap this. It's fun. It's a fun way to eat candy. What the fuck do we need this for? It's a fun way to eat candy that's different. We've turned eating candy into work. Candy is all sugar.

It's all the same. It's tortilla cheese meat and vegetables. It's Mexican food. It's all the same. You just arrange the composition. Well, I think that's an actual brilliant argument. I think that this is just the cheese, man. They didn't put the tortilla or the meat or anything.

They just took out one ingredient. Sometimes you want a cassadilla. Look. Sometimes you want one cassadia. I've eaten a lot of these salam. I'm probably the only one here with you. But it's true that they just put sugar inside of a stick. Yeah.

It's just sugar. But that's cool. With a little bit of citric acid. When we get to fund dip, I don't want to hear some goddamn shiq. That's different. That's very different. That's very different. That's very different. Fuck you.

I'm with you that they're pathetic for looking at fun dip. Like it's a magical new adventure. It is. Are you fucking serious? No, you guys are pathetic. I'm not, I'll give it to you that the form of candy and how it how it implores you to eat it is part of the experience that we need to evaluate.

You're pathetic. But I think there's more fun ways to eat sugar, man. It's a little... It's like a break. Can you speak up your fucking pathetic. I'm fucking... I'm a fucking head full of hair. I'm a fucking headful of hair.

And I like the candy I fucking like and I'm not pathetic. You're fucking pathetic, bro. I'm not. You're fucking crying right now. You're just stop saying it. You're fucking crying on the show. Can we put the candy in the fucking bag filler dear? Okay, what do you say?

I would still call it bag filler. And I saw it candy. Fine, it's bagfielap it. Yeah, I'm so upset. I will give this. I don't think I'd snap it because I like its uniqueness. Yeah. I think it's fun.

but like I there I absolutely if it's in my bag I'm not fucking like no no if you're popping up for a pixie stick bro I'm popping off for a pixie stick let me ask you a question let me ask you a fucking serious damn question okay I we're at Halloween we have all of our bags we're dumped out on the carpet in the living room are you pre your post bouncing on it

we're post bouncing on it so we got full size candy the helmets are off so you guys are trick or treating it's bouncing on it you guys are exhausted your helmets are exhausted from a day of bouncing the helmets are off and we're doing we're looking at our halls right and we know equal amount pretty pretty comparable halls from the both of us. We bounce very equally.

He's so good. And you, you, on your side, you have... Comparable. Let's see. You have a full-sized butterfingers. Okay? I have four pixie sticks. Fuck it. Make it 12. Yeah, it's got to be a lot. I've got eight pixie sticks.

And I say, slime, you want to trade? The amount of pixie sticks you would need for that is like, it's like 20. How many pixie sticks? It'd be like 20. How many? It'd be an absurd amount that he'd never have. I think it'd be 20 pixie sticks, and I have to think long and hard about that trade. Pixie six are the equivalent of pennies. And that is a big, a big thing to consider with your argument for how a high pixie six should be. 20 of them for one butterfinger?

The smallest warrior? The smallest warrior can still win the greatest of battles. That's so true. Fucking RT. And David versus Goliath tells this story. And that's from God of War. Yeah, God of War. God of War.

It's on Zoo, right? God of War is. Fine, put it in bagfiller, but I'm not happy about this, and I want the record to show it. it that we're our friendship is all a little bit diminished with me how about you get to choose where it is in bag filler top I love pixie sticks

make you feel better buddy yeah good job cratos so what is this next one now what is this next one that's called Abba Yaba this is the one we talked about on the show so we couldn't even find these Abizava you're my only friend

I was hoping you guys had tried them I've never seen some of you had one I've had Abzabah it's hard to remember though okay maybe not not worth doing then but growing up this was my older brother's favorite candy so we always had it in the house and I always thought aesthetically it's the coolest candy

I've never seen it's it coconut no it's no it's uh peanut butter inside of taffy it's really it's a tooth destroyer for sure it's crazy it's you know this reminds me have you guys ever have Charleston chew yeah I have not oh fuck it suck it from the back dude

Charleston chew is so good okay yeah oh my god it sucks it feels like it's sucking me from the back suck from the back? Or you would suck from the back to get it? Yeah, so... Probably column A, column B. Because old manhole feels like silk. Well, e-hoo. He said old manhole feels like silk. This is where it goes too far.

Dude, I feel like... That was a tweet that went viral. That was like a... I felt like I was under 4G... If you guys haven't had it... I had to... I just am fucking... If you guys haven't had it, I think we should skip it. Sure, we can skip it. You can put it back in the pile. But I was hoping we'd have it so I could have you guys try this fucked up candy I grew up with.

Did they just... Did they just... Did Babe Ruth just really get his own candy? Baby Ruth. Is that what that's from? Baby Ruth. You can't have this one. Otani Son, are they calling it Otani Son now?

Dude, the Otani Son candy. I don't know what a... Wait, it's Baby Ruth? It's dry roasted peanuts, rich caramel, and... I thought these were called Babe Ruth bars. Uh, they're Baby Ruth. I think because of the candy, I called Babe Ruth, Baby Ruth. I found it.

Dude, I'm having like a Berenstein Bears moment. Oh. Give me that. I got it, Rich. I've never had. had one of these. I've had them. They're all right. They're candy.

I think there's not a lot to say. I think there's better peanuts out there and I enjoy peanuts when they're around. Dude, this is, I'll give you Aden's peanut addendum. So when I grew up, I've been allergic to them, you know, my whole life. But when I was growing up, I actually have a really strong aversion to the taste and smell. So even when I tasted it, it would immediately like poison the taste of whatever I was eating. Your body knew.

It tasted horrendous to me. So I've never understood, like, people's love for peanut butter and things like that, right? All peanut butter. So you can scratch me off for, like, all of these candies on the list. Sure. However, as I've gotten older, this aversion has gone away. And I've started to just plow through and eat things with peanuts in them, like, like, pad tie, for instance. However, recently, I've discovered that as I've chosen to do this more often, it has terrible consequences.

Like, I, I get, like, really, really bad gut pain and diarrhea the next day. And if I eat like a couple peanuts, like, that doesn't happen. But if I eat an entire meal with peanuts in it, like Pad Thai, I'm like, I'm out. Wait, so you saw Pat Tai knowing it had peanuts in it and just thought I'll tank this? Yeah, because sometimes it just tastes so good. I'm like, I'll take this. Have you ever had a peanut butter jelly? And then I've connected the dots recently that this results in something very awful the next time.

Wait, how do you just connect the dot? Like, you knew you were allergic to peanuts. I thought, because I used to just get a stummy ache like a few hours after. But what I realized was that only happens because I never. ate enough, like I'd spit it out or like something like that, right? Now you're eating enough for it to truly hurt. And now I'm tanking entire meals and reconciling

my eyes. Have you ever had a peanut butter and jelly? No. Do you try one and have a bad day? Yeah, that'd be kind of sick. You've never had a Pee and J. No. He should try one. That is unbelievable. No, I think I could. Do they feel so bad. Just have a bite. It hurts so bite. Would you cut the crust or do you just put on? I'm asking what he would pick. Everyone gets to pick their own PBJ. I'd keep the crust on. Okay. my boy. Yeah, that's the default state of a Pee and he also is a Yoribu and no European

would cut the cross off. It's a bread. Why would they waste the bread? You would get shot in the head. Okay, so you guys have to guide me on all of the peanut candy. I think Babe Ruth is candy. I have nothing more to say about it. It's either the top of bag filler or the bottom of candy. This is boring. What their snickers are right there. Why are we doing this? I'm Donna. I don't think it's worse than a milky way. Sure. Uh, butterfinger, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, butterfingers. I love the Simpsons. Butterfingers. I will say argument for the fridge because butterfingers are probably

the biggest culprit of melting of any fucking chocolate when you open up a butter finger that's been sitting in a room temperature room it's like it melts it dude it like the chocolate like comes off the bone it's like layered you just how I like to eat it

you eat the top dude you wait whoa whoa whoa whoa what is that whoa whoa whoa whoa he just ate the top of a butter finger and then you eat that next layer he's eating it like a like that burrito meme He's eating it like a chicken wing

And then you eat the rest No No fuck that What is that You were ill That was awesome You were ill Wait you can't eat this one either

I know Because it's peanut butter Bro Oh Crispity And they have a good slogan I want to add Crispity

Crunchity Peanut buttery Is that a good slogan No it's really bad Dude they had a Simpsons Colab The Simpsons and Butterfinger Were like

Like hand in hand For identity This is go It's goate. It's goaded. This is goaded. They made a crazy candy and you'll never taste it. This is goaded.

No! Aiden! No! He's got throw up in the helmet! Oh my god, wait. Yep me. Spit it out. Oh my god, spit it out.

Oh god. Oh god. Bad dog. That will kill you. Full of these things I've ever seen. It just fell out. You had to fish it out of his ass? Yeah.

I would have been dealing with a nightmare tomorrow, fellow to meet that. Oh. It's the Butterfinger commercial, dude. Yeah, I'm finishing this. Wait, that's kind of awesome. This is what I grew up on. The Butterfinger meant the Simpsons, and we like the Simpsons, and we like candy. That makes so much sense.

It's just yellow. Yeah. Yeah, I've never seen this. I just know that I've, when I went to the movie theater, I would get at the butterfingers every time. They had like the butterfinger bites. Man, look at the packaging, everything. Butterfiger is good.

Go ahead. It's got it. Because I've heard this in my entire life, right? I've always heard how amazing butterfingers are, and I just sit here like a schmuck. I just have to take people out there at their word. It's got like a crazy crunch to it, but it doesn't look like it to have a crunch when you see the cross section.

Speaking of, we're moving on to crunch. Crunch bar. You're alphabetical on the list, by the way. I don't think that matters. In my head, crunch was called crunch bar. And I'm realizing now it's just called crunch. I think it used to be. Isn't it used to be a crunch bar?

Can we look it up? Was it? Is this Mandela effect? No, it was 100% crunch bar. So crunch bars, what I've always liked is that it says it on it. I love. No, I'm with you. What the fuck?

No, no, don't let them laugh. Don't let them laugh. I like when the candy has an embossment on it. I like it too. This is like insane. This is an insane autism expose, dude. It's just, it's just. No, no.

you guys. When a fucking making me lose my five. Yeah, you know it would be an awesome podcast? If we ate

and then went B tier. Next. Sorry we have a fucking pinion on here next. Oh, this one?

Uh, Thanos now, that's a funny joke. Next. Mogal mail on candy. Uh, candy's pretty good, but it can be bad for you.

Video over. You got, look, you guys are getting really sensitive about this, so... Call me crazy.

Crunch bar? Maybe it's because I swim entire life not being able to eat peanuts. I put this in not sharing. Oh my god. I like them. I like crunch bars a lot. Yeah. I like, it's also American packaging. Why do you say oh my god? Because I just, okay, let me say some nice things about the crunch bar first. I like. This is a writing workshop. That's how writing workshops work. You say what you like and then you

say what we should. I want to know what he likes. To be clear. fucking tell my big for ears what you like about it, man. You guys think you're so clever and so funny and you're not. That's the thing that we all fucking can tell. We can all fucking tell you guys are just

fucking losers, bro. Okay, anyway, crunch bar, what I like about the crunch bar. I like when candy has multiple textures. I look for it. Hershey's, when we get to Hershey's, you're going to find out how I feel about candies that are one consistent texture, bro.

I have a lot to say about Hershey's too I'm with you I have a lot to say about Hershey's Crunch bar The crunch bar did what the Hershey don't Yeah yeah yeah yeah And so that's a very That's a what?

Multiple textures I like a lot of sensory activation I like that it says the name I feel bitch In the comments you can be Like a rectangle on it It's all very symmetrical The rapid

If we Look if we needed as a country To make the most thorough Candy tier list you know who we'd hire we'd hire autistic people we'd hire me and we'd hire we'd hire the nuanced take havers we don't need to hire any more of us

we can see shit that you can only think that you know it's a six cents literally it's a six cents you eat a candy bar and you go hmm calories on nutrition I don't know this is all there's a thing we think texture you're wearing no sweater you think that sweater is blue

but it's cerulean and you don't know that cerulean was in the crunch bar of fucking 2002 collection And it ends up in a Walmart bin It ends up on your fucking chest end out the way I want to hear what you like about the candy I'm sorry I'm sorry

Crunch bars I appreciate their mixed texture I think the chocolate part It's like any chocolate It's kind of mid For that reason I put it into candy Not into not sharing If someone's like can I have some of your crunch bar

I'm like it's not so good That I'm gatekeeping it from you bro I think it depending on my mood It's a not share It's a not chair he's wrong on this I'm okay to be wrong There's no way that if you have a crunch bar in your bag

and someone's like, let me trade you the crunch bar for the sweet tarts. You're like, yeah, sign me up. Yeah. I think, yeah. The fucked up thing, I take the trade. Also, it's not the mini bag. Crunch bars more often than not are in,

like, it's one of the big candies. You get a big crunch bar. It's available in big bar form. Not all the candies are big bar available. I think that's a good point. I'm fine with not sharing. I can take that. I probably wouldn't agree as hard,

but I'll take it. I'll find with this. You know that fucking deluxe bag can get of chocolates with like the Mr. Goodyear? Oh Mr.

Goodyear is so fucking good dude. I would fuck Mr. Goodier so crazy if you let me do it Crunch it to me crunches like the Mario

because I think crunches in those bags and crunches like the Mario and there's all the awesome side characters but they never get the same love no they don't try finding a fully

Mr. Goodyear oh I want to fuck you so goddamn good Mr. Goodyear Mr. Goodbar Mr. Goodbar Mr. Goodbar. Mr. Goodbar.

There is. Charles Goodyear. Oh my God. Charles Goodyear. Let me fucking make you quiver from the base. When you asked Chat GBT to make Abraham Lincoln. He developed Fogonized rubber. Well, I think we think Goodyear because of the tires.

It's Mr. Good Bar. It's really good. What was the bad? Oh, there it is. Yeah, yeah, that one. Crackle. Crackle. Crackle.

The Wallooigi. No. No, the other one. Crackle. Oh, Crackle. Red bar. The one with all the little ones, yeah. Yes.

I remember, dude. Okay, this exact assortment, they came in, like, the mixed pack, and they would get, they would just get dumped in your bag on Halloween. Yes. So this is essentially a crunch bar. Apparently it was a Hershey's bag. But yeah, they made Crackle, which was, to me, a crunch bar. Nestle. Nestle has crunch.

Yeah. Hershey's has Crackle. And Nestle also doesn't let you have water because it's not a human right. Right. All of this tracks. God, Mr. Yeah, I'm cool. I'm cool with not sharing.

That's fine. I would put lower, but it's okay. And we're moving on to Dots. I have mine right here. Okay. Dots. I want to start out with my first principle before you even taste.

The box is either a game or an instrument. Dots passes the test. You can shake them. It's fun to shake and it feels nice to shake. And when I'm walking around the street on Halloween, I'm doing this. Yes, yes, yes, yes. And this is part of the experience of Dots candy.

For the audio listeners. For the audio listeners. For the audio listeners, I am your nurse. And wow. And then snipping hair. Slym famously said these aren't gummies. They're not.

What are they? They're like gelatin. They're something else. Assorted gummy candy pieces. Okay, I'd like to first just point out that it says it on the box. I'd like to first point out that my box had zero reds. That's very unlucky. Do you want a red?

I would like a red if I can get one. I got a lot of yellows. Pretty bad. Do you want another one? No, I got it. I'm good. Here, you can have one of my greens. Ha ha ha ha.

Um, I'm going red. Oh, I'm shooy. Uh, so I, I've always had a problem with candy. Oh, that's chewy. I had a problem with candies that stick in your teeth a lot. A gum drop. Is gum drop different from gummy? Yeah. I'm just saying, Joe Rogan trying to fucking figure out his research live.

It's just different. We have gummy bears here. There's a difference. And that difference is important to me. So kill yourself. But what I'm trying to say is that dots, dots, they, like, right? Right now, I ate two. There's a piece on the back of my mold that I want it off. I think it'll be there into my 30s. And it pisses me off. However, I will say the only venue in which I like these candies are at the movies. I enjoy dots at the movies because you can kind of slowly eat them.

And that feels nice. It's like cookie dough bites. I don't eat them in my life, but I eat them in the movies. I feel like this is a bygone candy from a bygone era. Designed for people in the fucking 40s. when they didn't have teeth. I think this is, this is,

this is, it feels like World War II ration candy. Yeah, yeah. This was in a fucking like care drop once in a while

in Normandy and they popped off but we don't get it. You get a bunch of dots and like a roll-up poster of a nurse. And it's, it's, you got it with a letter

from your wife telling me. I appreciate that they come in a box. Can I say it? I appreciate that it's not a bag. I, uh, no, I,

I understand, but everything you're saying positive about it is the way the box sounds. That's the best thing about it. Yeah. I think growing up is realizing the dots are a bad candy. I'm arguing for bag filler.

I'm not, I'm saying, I don't think it should be Thano Snap. I want to snap it. Oh, I'll go bagfiller with you. 100, 100, I want to snap it. I want to snap it.

I want to snap it. I want to snap it. Don't be pussy. I'm 100% snap it. To put it. I will only bag filler this because of the movies. That's it.

If that didn't exist, I'm with you. Thank you to cinema. Thank you to cinema. Thank you to cinema. Thank you, Nicole Kidman, an AMC. Putting this next to Candy Corn just feels. We're going to Fun Dip, y'all.

Oh, well. All right, I'd like to ask. It's apparently different. I'd like to ask the room, would anyone like to trade? We all have the same one. It's Cherry? It's cherry. Oh, I want Blue so bad.

I want Blue so bad. It's red. So Fun Dip came in a fun package, because it was, you got two sticks, which I think, did these get smaller? Did they make the chalk sticks smaller? No. Crinkflation? Or are bigger?

Wait, no. These are smaller. These are smaller. These are smaller. They're 100% smaller. These are smaller. They're smaller. They used to say something on them, didn't they? No.

Yes, they did. They used to say fun dip. That's on God. No, they said Fondirid. You guys are getting embarrassed. It's on Diery and they say Fondiard. So Fondip, you lick the chalk stick, which again, I love chalky shit. Don't lick it too much.

Don't look it too much. That's why your dad got mad at you. And then you dip it into here. What does that mean? And then you come out with a little bit of pixie dust. Yeah. And then you keep going and that's how it works and then you get bored and then you just eat all the dust Right away. I'm getting my paw hair in my mouth

Okay, I'm dipping. I'm not a cherry guy. I think cherry is the Mario of a lot of flavors that I just never really interested I think it's strawberry. I got strawberry. It's that ass the same shit You know what I'm saying like cherry? Um, this is this is I want liquor sticks Yeah, liquor stick. She want that bubble go. I want that liquor stick. It's in the song. So what the fun part was to... I never realized that it was to take it out like a fucking bump of coke and then try to snort it. No, no, but then try to eat it all, but you would, you would basically be horizontal instead of vertical when you dip. I love this. I love this. I'm not sharing. It's certainly one person has taken Coke with this stick and just gummed it a little. We've done heinous shit with

it. Imagine sharing a fund dip. Hey, are you awesome? Yeah, right. Asking the girl you like to share the fund it? That's a move. That's a move. That's gross still. And then you're like, oh my God, did you see fucking Katie and Trent? They were fucking, they were sharing a fun dip. They were sharing a fun dip also. I'd love a hand job for the first time if you're over that.

I'm into this. So I started a website this weekend. What are you talking about? Another one? Yeah, I started a website. I have a bunch of aid in stuff that I've just been like taking and like hiding from him and like taking in the office and we used to live together, take it out of the garage. And I've been selling his stuff.

Really? Yeah, yeah. I've just been getting rid of it. And I don't give him any of the money. High prices. No, it's extremely high. I'm like way overcharging, but I'm marketing it as Aden's stuff, unwashed. We're talking. Yeah, we're talking. Shut up. My clothes? No, no, but it was easy. The clones that I left at the house. I know what you're saying, like, how did I even do that? It's so

confusing. Squarespace. I'm not concerned with how you made it. And Squarespace is today's today's sponsor. It's the all-on-one website platform. Do you know that? And I'm using it to sell your stuff. I don't want you to sell my stuff with a, I don't care what the website don't do you got to shut up. Do you got his underwear on there? Oh, I've got his underwear on there. Okay. And you can buy it. The underwear is actually low because it's just selling like hot cakes. I I got a demand and supply aid. It's a really simple concept. Of course it's low.

I only had five pairs. Oh, dude, I had a million hits on the website yesterday. You know why? Because the website on Square Upspace gives you really easy to use SEO tools and a ton of built-in features like photo galleries you can fundraise. What about the nipple clamps? No, see, I have a fundraiser open right now for the nipple clamps and if people fundraise up enough money with the built-in tools on the website, I'm going to give away the

nipple clamps for free. I bet you were wondering. You don't want you to use the fundraiser tool for my nipple clamps. You were wondering where they went. Because then they're looking real pink instead of red. And the stuff that is yours, Aden, is not yours to decide where it goes or how it's sold. So if you're out there right now and you want to help me out, you can go to the website. Or you can use the website to create, you know, professional on-brand invoices, online payments.

I've been using all those tools. Very convenient. So if you want to go to Squarespace.com right now and use Code the Yard, that's Squarespace.com slash the yard. You can save 10% off your first purchase of your own website or domain using Code of the Yard. or you can go to my website that's, um, that's Aidenstuff. Um, dog

and you can just buy some of his stuff. Don't sit by your, don't sell your friend stuff on Squarespace. Don't do that. Sell normal things. We're gonna make a million dollars off of Aidenstuff. Go to Squarespace.com slash the yard or Aidenstuff.

We're gonna make a million dollars off of you. It's so few things. And now let's just get back to the episode before Heath learns what I stole to. I will, um, yeah, what do you guys think?

this is uh this is more than just candy this is an experience it's a candy for me because it's it's a slightly more engaging experience than the pixie stick it's like it does everything the pixie stick wants to do but better i agree with that you're just i'm gonna beat this shit out of you but it still sits in this weird category of i don't really want this to be the candy i eat i'm the god of war if i kill you i get green essence that heals me that's i you probably get some meat too some wolf meat i could finish this. I, uh... Also, I love the stick itself.

I do think it's fun. And I think the stick is kind of yummy. It is kind of yummy. It might be, honestly, yummy to me than the sugar. Okay, that's a little weird. I was afraid to admit this, but now you've

given me, you've given me confidence. When I was a kid, sometimes I would just eat the stick. But I ultimately think... That's who's on your team. That's who's on your team. You're saying some shit that will incriminate you. What do I think? I think if I'm being honest to my child self, I would do not sharing.

Funded was too valuable to share. Yes, Ludwig. I mean, it's not sharing. For me, it's kind of goaded. Oh, it's goaded? Damn. I love fund it. I thought you were saying that, oh, but you also thought Pixie Six.

No, he's just clowning on us for shitting on Pixie Six. But, okay, so, I mean, we've negotiated not sharing. I'm not sharing. We'll keep it there. I think not sharing is great. All right. Grummy bears. Oh, gummy bears.

We used to stack them like bill. What do you mean? How do you stack this? You get 12? Like the sticks? Oh, like that. You got a money spread? Um, gummy bears, man. Gummy bears, boys, boys. Wow. It's, maybe it's different than dots and maybe there's a key difference that we should identify. We've come to the great, the true great candy for me. This is instantly goaded. I don't want to get rid of this. Instantly goaded. Aiden, you love this because it's European. Look at it. him. What? He's a bear. Is it not European? Is it I think it's European, right? It's Swedish. I don't know if it's Swedish.

I'd like to specify because gummy bear, gummy worm, all these different types of gummy things, even almost gummy octopus, which I feel like is exclusively trolley. We are eating Haribo gummy bears, gold bears. That is a different, that is a specific brand, and they all taste very different. Yeah. All the

brands of gummy bears are very different. And these ones might be the best. I will say, bro. The bear looks fucked up They always look fucked up Sometimes they come out weird The way you bite into it It has that slight little give But it's a little firm

I like the firm Would you call it gummy Like dots are a gummy No it's They don't have to be the exact same It's like saying You call Butterfingers chocolate But Milky Ways aren't

It's like they're different ingredients And different things But there's still candy bars There's still candy bars Also has gum in the fucking name bro Damn he's actually stunting on your ass I'm not being stunted on It's just a clear...

Bro, start to me on your own, dude. Cratos is that, Crato's L. It's so crazy. It's so crazy you guys called Dots and Gummy Bears, gummy. Because they're just so different. And it's, it's disgusting. Goaded. Goaded? They're goaded.

It's one of my favorite candies. I'm pushing for a good. The thing is, they're like goaded because they're like this classic, classic candy that you'll always, like, can stand by. But, like, I'll definitely trade up for a knife. Like, I don't care. I think it's a red, though. Huh?

It's a red. Yeah, it's a red, but it's like, it's hard. It's, I think it's candy. This is top of candy for me. Candy's not a red. I know, but like. Candy's a pink. I think maybe it's just that gummy bears.

I don't know. They're timeless. They're timeless, but timelessness doesn't. And you kind of. Like, the butterfinger is like, oh my God, I have a butterfinger at home. Let's just call, I don't know what's happening here. I don't know what you mean. I don't know what you mean by that. Let's call what's happening here.

The only reason Aiden is putting it this high is because he is a, Yurobu, he has a disease where he thinks his spirit is from Europe and he needs to go back to his homeland. Yeah. Yeah. And Haribo candies are littered around Europe. It's like so popular. Oh my God. To the point where they come from Germany. Gumi barren. Gumi baron. It's a Nazi food. No, it's well. Well, it was made in the no, it was made pre-Nazis. Oh, even better. Free, don't job it even better. They do the Nazis are coming out. Herobo is an acronym of his name, Hans, Horigel. Bonz. when you watch dubs James Bond

I guess it's better than ad heat candy I'll take candy but like yeah this is all I wish I didn't know that so you said goaded we both said candy and you said what I also unfortunately I'm a bit affected by the Euroboot disease because I've been a Europe many times and they had this candy yes at the F4 race

it was like one of the candies available there because we all enjoy it And without a shout of and out, every time that I had the opportunity to grab one, I didn't. It's candy. Candy, man. The three candies we win. Top of candy, give it to him. I will say that the Harrybo, the soda-flavored gummies, it's like their little bottles of soda.

Oh, my God. It's all time. Thank you. Thank you. Wait, not all the wax ones, right? No, no, no. They're just like gummed. They do these like Coke-flavored candies in Europe, and it's like the most popular flavor.

And they're like kind of clear yellow on top and like Coke on the bottom. Yeah, it looks like a little bottle. So bomb. Those are goaded. Goated. Get a fine picture of those and put them in goaded. All right.

Next. Hershey's. Harshies. Raw herches. Hershey's. Well, well. The default state of society. Milk chocolate.

So something that's interesting about American chocolate is made with an ingredient that is not used in, for instance, Australia. And your Australian friends will try American chocolate. and they'll be like this tastes like throw up and it's true we are just very used to it much like videos movies being at 24 fps and they are not used to it and their chocolate does not contain this this is the this is the candy with the biggest learning curve for an american child i think that's how so it's you you experience it and you're like this is what chocolate is and i taste it and i kind of like it and then you get older you travel and you see the world and you try actual

And you realize that this really is a stinking pile of shit. I will say the wrapping's also fucking ugly as shit. And it's like too soft. Thank you, Ludwig, for that nuance. I appreciate it genuinely. For me, genuinely, genuinely, this is bag filler. It is the definition of bag filler. I wouldn't Thanos snap it because I think it's it would do too much to the smores industry that I don't think would be good for it. That's, oh, I didn't even think about that. But it is the definition of bag filler, bro. What? Oh, I don't know what he's doing. Oh, that definitely hurt. He didn't want to admit it. Where did he just go? He saw a rabbit. So I think that Hershey's is like, it doesn't, here's the thing about chocolate. Chocolate is a big deal. Chocolate is hard to make, hard to get.

It tastes so certain. When you just say chocolate is bag filler, it feels to me haram. It's Haram to say chocolate is bad. They're like crazy for saying this, that like chocolate, No, because this is... Through the nature of what it is, is decadent and candy.

Like, candy, no matter what. It's a bastardization of the decadence. It's not. It's the default state of the decadence. It's taken away all of the divinity out of chocolate and spit it out. See, dad's gone. We can have nuance to this conversation. Oh, he's back.

What is that about? He's got a feastable? Time to try, liberal pussies. Time to fucking try it. You didn't put it on your tear list because you were scared. of getting a little fucking controversial but you put Hershey's on there time to fucking try it

let's do it put your nuts where your fucking mouth is my nuts in my mouth where it is put your nuts where it is right let me ask you is this the one that's been in the warehouse for two years yeah okay so try it how does it look lovely

I would love if you tried it I feel like the Mr. Beast promise is that there's no preservatives right so we probably can't eat it because there's no preservatives that keep us safe check the date Oh, we're good. Oh, okay. February 26.

And it doesn't have preservatives? Right, so you were afraid of how it looked and smelled, even though it's fine. Well, I was scared based off the way you guys are speaking. Is that peanuts? I'll just take a piece. There's almonds. This one just says, Mr. Beast. That's cool.

So we're comparing this to Hershey's? I mean, this is almond chocolate, so it's a little different to begin with. It's a little different, but yeah. But I've had enough feastivals to confidently say that Feastavals, bag filler, Hershey's, nanosnap. No, this is fine. This is good. My argument for chocolate. That's what I mean. It's bag filler. I was saying that chocolate itself should never be bag filler.

Because it essentially is chocolate. And it's like a very, in a way this like special milky thing, a very decadent. I actually like this. If you put this in like a fucking, imagine this like sticking out of the top of vanilla scoop of ice cream. Feastable is pretty good. My God. I've had a lot of these because I always run the office. The texture is perfect. You can do chocolate.

poorly, no? Yeah, and the question is, does Hershey's do chocolate poorly? Yes, I think famously. How do you feel about that? You were gone for the discussion. Oh, I would probably bagfiller Hershey's. I like the Smore's argument. I was going to Thanos snap, but I think the Smoor's argument was good. I said bagfiller. All right. I'll take bagfiller, but I philosophically don't agree with this. And Mr. Beast Almond? Candy. Mr. Beast Almond's candy. Mr. Beast's almond. I would throw,

not sharing. I think it's better than Harribeau. I think it's like a crunch to me. You think Mr. Beast almond is on the same level Yeah, no, I agree with you. I think it's on the same level as a crunch. I agree with as good as a crunch. What?

It's as good as a crunch. And I think we have this like 90s perspective but like if like I know cuties nieces and nephews, if there's a fucking feastables in the bag. They fuck with that. They're not, it's not only are they not sharing. They're thinking about how they louvre heist

this. It's on kid purge. It's on KP. The kids don't know they're candy. So I would put it not sharing. But maybe this makes the woke mob come after me. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, you do look like a bit of a fucking chill,

but, I mean, we're tasting candy here, and I've never talked shit on the feastables because I eat them in the office sometimes, and I'm like, that's pretty good. I had to remove them from my house. What, because you were eating so much? You were a fat little monster? You were a fat little monster, weren't you?

Snarling. You were a snarling dwarf. I was eating them, yes, too much. Oinking for them? Just, were you oinked? Did you, like, can they come out of a little box? I would just go for like... The box goes, oink, Ludwig.

And you go... Cutey, where did you put the... Good boy. I would go for a bar every night. Every... Oh my god! That's why you hit a stinky too. Biggy town, population, you...

So I stopped. This is clean. This is clean. I have a firm opinion about this. Kit Katz? And I know it's built. Hey, Ludwig des, I know you got some Kit Kat fucking takes, bro. Kitukato.

Oh, break me off a piece of that. Kit Kat bar. Amazing marketing. This is my dad's favorite candy. Really? Yeah. Not sharing. Ironically built for sharing, but I'm putting it not sharing. That's such an Aden thing. Take something built for sharing. Keep it to himself. Right? Right? Yep. He just spit out his candy to say that.

It was excited. But I think he's right in this case. Another fun thing about Kit Katz. and you'll notice there's a trend with me. No, I want to. You take it, you bite the top. Dude, you are afraid. I want you to know, I understand that we align a lot in this conversation.

This is where I diverge. And then you bite the top. Is this a bit? What the, you don't do that. I don't do that. You don't do that. It's too thin to do that with. I promise I do. And sometimes you nibble around the top

to get the top wafer off in a clean bite. I wish I could have raised you as my own child. Wow. What does it do? What? I would take care of both you. Is Zipper a fucking freak? I would take care. I never called you a freak. I don't know if we should weigh this in because we haven't, you know, maybe this is against

the spirit of what we've been doing so far. But I also love the flavors that Kit Katz come in. Like the, you know, the green tea one, you can get in Japan and stuff like that. This is what I hate about Kit Karaboo. There's so many good flavors of Kit Katz and I like all of them. You're a geppetophile. Japanophile. You cannot say that to him. I mean, you obviously are, but.

No, I'm Chinese. I'm Chinese. You can't just switch. Okay, here. I have. I think, Aiden, it's worth bringing up, but I think we should take into account only a couple of these variations that are available in the States. One of them being the light chocolate.

Which that one's pretty good too. Which I think is amazing. I think it's pretty good. White chocolate is one of the grossest things. I'm not, I don't like white chocolate. White chocolate is disgusting. Let me take one shot. Do you know it's not chocolate?

One opportunity. I don't care. What is it? It's just an amalgamation that's meant to like resemble chocolate, but it has a has no cocoa in it. Who cares? Coco kills kids. Coco

and only I should be doing that. I'm team Coco. Over? Like Conan O'Brien. Oh my God. It's 2013, bro. Get it the fucking times.

They've ever just said, what was that? Yeah, I'm with him. I'm with him because what the fuck was that? What the fuck were you putting Kit Kat? Not sharing. I don't think Kit Kat's that special.

Not sure. I think it's candy. It tastes so good. No, just candy. It's not, I'm not. Nobody fucking.

I don't agree with me, dude. I had a fucked up childhood where I couldn't eat peanuts and nobody fucking agrees with it. I know, and I was living the life eating the top of things and then the bottom of things. Stop fucking laughing at me, dude. This is like the bottom of candy for me too. I think it's candy. Yeah. And I, and you know... But let the voting record show you're not sharing the shareable chocolate. Yeah, let's record show that you're a fucking...

It has awesome marketing. Yeah, break me off a piece of that. Okay, okay. Laffy Taffy. Oh, boy. Why do all these rappers have fucking songs about candy? candy. Because we all grow up eating it and it's what brings us happiness. Laffy taffy is a little tough.

I got banana. That's the one that like when you have banana flavoring out in the wild, you go, oh, that tastes like a banana Laffy taffy. Yeah. And that's, that's aura. I think. That is aura. It is. Laffy taffy is it's poison. Yeah. You know what I

fucking hate about Lafey Taffy's is when you have to open it and the the wrapping is just fucking grew up. Okay. Okay. Before you guys so miserable. And then when you pull it off, it keeps the shape of the wrapping on it. Before you guys say fucking anything, I want to say two things. One, in the games or instrumentation of this candy, yes, you can do this thing and you can make the Lafey Taffy a ball eventually after you shrink it down, like an airhead. Or two, if you look at the back of the Lafey Taffee,

you'll see there's two jokes. And so I'd like to tell you my jokes. First one, what did they call the girl born at the beach? What? Fat bitch. Why would they call it? I don't know. I don't know That was so mean. Imagine it said it all happy to everyone. Sandy. Right. Right. So maybe listen to up next time.

Second one. Why did the farmer yell at the grape? Because he was going slowly insane and then he ended up blowing his head off with a shotgun in a field. Close. It was being unreasonable. And that's good fun. See, and that's good fun. So now we open the candy and we see what's in store.

Bad open. See that you can see Some of the Laffy Taffy has Has stuck to the plastic Terrible open. That's a bad experience. All right, I'm trying my open. Oh, the worst possible case! I lost the corner and now it's a nub.

This is not... I can't even get to it. No, I can't even... I don't know how they're still selling this. Let's just say it. Let's say it. We need this gone. We Thanos snap Lafey Tats.

It doesn't... It's not fun to eat. It sticks in your teeth. It's fucking miserable. The only thing I'll give it is a banana. flavor. I like that. The banana

is interesting. Banana runts were my favorite. The reason why I'm going to agree with Thanos snap, the banana flavoring in these laffy-taffies, you can find in a million other candies. If you want this flavor,

you can go get it. It's, dude, it's not, look at this. This is in edible. This is edible. I can't even get to it. I can't get to it. I can't get to it.

That's how I remember it. It tastes like runts. I can sign up for Thanos snap. All right. Eminem's default. Oh, I got some shit. the Hershey's of hard shell chocolate. You shit to say, pussy boy.

This is, this is my best way to consume a Hershey's-esque chocolate. That's true. That's true. So that's why I would put it at the bottom of candy. Melt's in your mouth, not your hands. I eat M&Ms every day. Every day? Yeah, I eat M&M's every single. How? What? I have a bag of M&M minis that QD used for baking.

Wait, wait. Eminem minis taste different than MMS. You said you're on a diet. I agree, but I eat M&Ms every day. I am on a diet. and I put like 10 of the minis in my yogurt. Oh, that's fine. Okay, yeah, that's chill. And then I have that Eminem yogurt because I used to love the Eminem yogurt, but my mom wouldn't let me get it.

These tastes like shit. Here, can I get one? These tastes like shit. So what I like, this is how I... It just all came out. It just like, why did I even specify? It just all came out. So what I like it to do about Eminem's,

okay? Taking it, front teeth, half. Look at it? Boom. You get half an Eminem. That's fun. You get to see the inside. Okay?

I like doing that. And you just eat the other one. Do you guys ever have a white M&M? Yes, we know about how your cousin made you taste this butt. I'll make you one. Make it. I thought you don't buy them. How do you make it?

You have to prep it. You have to prep it. Bake them? It's a prep kitchen. Please break. Look at that shell off the top. That's a great break. When you get the shell alone, that's also a great break.

Sometimes you bite only a little bit, right? You go, on, I'll do it. No, I fucked it. I think these tastes like actual shit, and I hate them. Actual shit. I think they suck. And then here you go, the camera. Oh!

The lid comes off. That's clean. That's clean. You guys, hey on. That's kind of cool. It's moving up. And that's fun. That's fun.

But these are ass. Absolute bag filler, if not Thanosnap. I'm not kidding. I think Eminem's are a fun additive for a lot of things. But by themselves, they're not as enjoyable. I wouldn't Thanos snap because they're one of the best characters in candy. Oh my God. They have amazing characters.

in that green one, my God. To even have a taste. I want to shag the green one. Everyone wants to shag the green one, but is the point of this tier list to be who has the best marketing that's infected my brain? It's part of it, bro.

I think it's interesting. What I'm realizing is how much candy marketing we all got injected into us as kids. Yeah. And how much that's biasing and influencing our choices. And half of that is breakfast cereal. Like, I still want cookie crisp.

Yep. Because he's... Cookie crisp. How can you have cookies for breakfast? Well, with taking a crispy. can. I think marketing notwithstanding, I think the marketing is

awesome, but I still hate them that much. Default M&Ms are like seriously like, it's like the it's like you ask your co-worker if they like music. You with Hino-Snabbit. And they say like, you know. Do we bagfieler? Please, we bagfiller. Do you have Gennett? Yeah, I would.

I would backfiller. I'm bagfellar. All right. I'll negotiate. Now, Peter M-NMM's. This is a different story. That's different. Goaded. A whole different story. Hold on. Hold on. I need you guys. I need you guys to do the explaining for me

because, again, I've never eaten one, ever. But in my entire life, I hear this version of the conversation, which is I don't like M&Ms, but oh my God, peanut Eminem. What is, what could that possibly be that different? Ada, let me show you something. I'm going to take a bite of this peanut M. Okay. And then I'm going to pull off the shell.

I was in a clean one. Everyone, that's how you eat that. That's how you eat it. You bite it in half and you, and you have. have one that has just the peanut and the other that's just a chocolate maybe genuinely like there's a chemical reaction with peanuts and like the oils and the salt in it that makes the chocolate just taste better and that's why i like peanuts and chocolate because i hate fucking m&ms and these shits are just they're perfect man well i think it's just because there's also less of what

they're worse this is how it's meant to be eaten oh that's beautiful the worst part about an m&ms the like the filling right like the hard outside shell is pretty good yeah like a candy shell Yeah. And so there's less of the filling because there's big ass peanut and peanut's good. The peanut's good. And you feel I think a little less guilty

to maybe eating it because there's peanut. I think this is goaded. I think I think it's goaded, yeah. I think it's genuinely go to the movie theater and I'll just get this. Oh, it's so good. You might be confused, right? What about Haribot? And Kit Katz.

Oh, Haribos is schliking balls and eggolf. Edom bombs and Aribo? Yeah, sorry. What about it? Sorry, dude. No, it is good. Dude, it's all tearless

doesn't make any fucking sense. A guy who can't eat peanuts? Um, that's the only thing. It's like, you just don't eat peanuts. I'm really excited for the next one. And I don't want to eat them,

but then I'm gonna have a weird poop. Yeah, you'll have a hard poo. It's okay, man. Those are goaded. I'm really excited for the next one. Nerds gummy clusters. So this is a bit of a new thing.

Yeah, this is a new generation candy. This is actually the genuinely, uh, genuinely most popular candy for the past couple years. It tastes, identical to nerds rope. It's just

cut in pieces. Which is perfect. Am I a freak for saying this? The rope was inconvenient. I didn't want to carry a rope around. Nerds themselves are inconvenient. When really, I love, I know we don't have nerds on here, but a little box of nerds, that to me is goaded, not sharing. And some 2025

lore, there was a woman on Twitter who tweeted, who, I can't, I'm going to paraphrase, whoever invented nerds gummy clusters, I owe you like the sloppiest top of all time. And then the old man who invented mended nerds gummy clusters who has like 200 followers

or maybe less finds the tweet and he's like guilty it was really funny it was pretty awesome yeah they did something really special with this candy they took nerds

these are also not nerds themselves nerds are much like sort of bigger like the individual kernels if you will they made these a lot smaller surrounded it in gummy it gives a good satisfying push

because it's a good satisfying give little crunchy little sweet very sweet if you will that's what I'm saying it's kind of I feel like it's the perfect non-chocolate candy. I think it's in argument for the best candy

outside of Sour Patch Watermelon. Yeah. The only thing I can say negatively about these is that these are in a category of stomach ache of candy. You eat these, you have a stomach egg. It happens every time. Isn't that every candy? No.

This is a you thing. That's not me. I get crazy dummy eggs from these. This is a you thing. I don't have it. Oh, by the way, on the note of eating chocolate every day, Ludwig, I remember when you remember Fendi, it used to be pretty big. Yeah.

I asked him when he, like, lost all that weight. I was like, how'd you lose all the weight? He's like, honestly, he was counting my steps, but not eating chocolate. I ate chocolate every day. And I stopped eating chocolate, and I just shed the pounds. Are you, like, giving me advice? Yeah. You eat Eminem's every day.

I don't eat Eminem's every day. I eat 10 in a fodge yogurt, in a foge yogurt. You can't say that. What about Aidan? What it's called. Ain't that what Tommy Versetti rode in Vice City? All right. These are amazing. I would consider them not sharing. I would assume I would say not sharing too, but I would accept goaded if they feel it. This is crazy. If they feel goaded, I will accept it. I think it's clear goaded. It's clear. We're talking about the best candy on the market and you guys are like, ah, it's probably not sharing. They hurt my tummy too much. It's the only reason. Like can candy ever be goaded? Like what? We have multiple. If it's not, my thought was when this one came up. That's chocolate. Because it's not my personal. There's no childhood mystique attached to this one. Yes. Because it didn't exist when we were growing up, right? We also, I don't. I'm a reminder. I'm a little. I'm a little. I'm a little. I'm a little. I'm a little. I'm a lot. Evaluating it purely based on its merit, and it's got it.

To me, it's like the Cosmic Apple. Like, they took 18 years to develop this shit, and then they came out with the best possible thing with Modern Tech. What is the Cosmic Apple? I don't know. Oh, it's a breed of Apple. They spend 18 years developing. That's supposed to have the perfect level of crunch and crisp and sweetness.

It's developed in a lab, I think here in L.AW. They did it with Cosmic Brownies, too. Same story. Yeah, cosmic brownies. That was what I thought you were talking about. That was a drunk guy in the days. Yeah. And you know what?

He fucking snapped. Yeah. I'm cool. I'm cool and goaded. I'll give it goaded, but I... Ty goes to the higher one anyway. So it's actually not you guys giving it. We take it. And your pussies. I think it's goaded. He likes to. I change my mind. He likes to do that. All right. I'll give it. I'll give it. No, you won't. We take it. We take it. I do have candies, by the way, that I would put in good. A payday. These... I've never had this.

This is 1943 technology. Wait, why is it flat? You'll see. Peanut Caramel Bar. Oh, I just got a text. It's... Trump's rigging the 20. 26 midterms vote yes on prop 50 oh I just got a text this morning that said no vote no make your own decisions well I want to use liberal what is so again guy who likes peanuts here a payday is peanut outside caramel inside I've never eaten one of these they're

annoying crazy they're hitting your teeth and they're annoying this looks like they're covered in peanuts this this looks like an aiden killer oh no oh no what oh dude kill kill yourself I think they're good okay who made this Probably Mars. Hershey, of course. So the goddamn Tommos at Hershey's. What the hell, man? This has been around for years, bro.

Fuck this. Chill out. This sucks. You're not like peanuts? They don't snap. 1932. Oh, interesting year I got introduced. In the United States.

Well, are we sure? Am I controversial to say this shit rules? No, you're not controversial at all. This tastes like vomit. This shit is like what Mrs. B would make. if she's making her homemade candy she just make some caramel and then wrap it in can I weigh in it looks terrible

take a bite man aesthetically think a bite come on have a bad day for us I mean it's definitely not like you know using all the science that we have now to make candy but like the raw ingredients are good

I hated that you would Thanos tap it yeah go gone forever I think that there are so no dude I put fucking tool peanut candies and goaded oh you actually don't eat it don't eat it oh I don't like it Don't eat it. It smells like vomit, bro.

I mean... How does it smell it? It's caramel and peanuts. It's crazy. It smells like vomit. I would totally put it in not sharing. I would also put it there. So when you guys are... This is insane. This is the biggest discrepancy we've had so far.

I think it's pretty fucking good. I think what... I should eat this and then you have to be in the room when I spend an hour trying to shit tomorrow. And then if you still think it's good after that, then we can put it out. I have to remind everyone, we all get a one time. I thought about my one time earlier, but I feel like...

Wait, there's a one time? Yeah, remember when I put... No, he's always gone. We do tier lists. Oh, that's right. He's always gone. That's how courage... That's how courage JD ended up in jail.

You have a one time, and you can force one into a category. For, like, only every tier list you can do it, or... Every cheer list we do, yeah. We all got it one time, yeah. Wow, I've never done one. So, let me look at the rest. I think... I won't use mine.

I'm fine with not even having one times because I think four one times makes a tier list very wrong, right? Like that's data, that's messy data. You get your one time. But it's my one time. I feel like we all should get a one time. I mean, if I can use my one time,

what would I have done it on? I mean, I would have put pixie sticks and goaded, right? But then you guys would have... Oh, that would have been horrible. You know, so I don't want to mess with the data. I don't want to do that. Payday can stay candy, I want the record to show

that we disagreed. It's such bag filler. You are a piece of shit. I'm down for it to be candy and Nick's a piece of shit. All right. All right. Pocky this.

Is Pocky candy? Yeah. It's not a meal. It's not some other shit? I mean, what's some other shit? What's some other shit? Is Mike Kratos white? Like a cupcake.

Is it rubbing off? Like is a Pop-Tart a candy? Is a Pop-Tart of candy? I don't think a Pop-Tart is candy. feels like it's closer to Pop-Tart than candy. That's crazy. I think Pocky is, it's nice. It feels a little more sophisticated.

If I get Pocky in my Halloween back, I'm like, oh, you fancy bitch? Yeah. You fancy bitch? It's like, I expect this to be like in my, maybe in my cappuccino. I don't like about Pocky. It's hard to open the package without breaking one. No, you're just insane. Skill issue.

Yeah, it's a skill gap. You want me to help you? I'm going to do it. It's, I'd put it in not sharing, but in like the spiritual sense. I would share my bag of Pockade. Because I would share the shirt. Mine are all broken. Yeah. What's wrong with you?

Actually just an animal. That's a skill issue. I didn't know. I think they came broken. Look, I didn't do that. You're just a rhinoceros of a man. I didn't do that. You're a bit of an ogre. They're all broken. I didn't do this. The fat ogre is sad at his own actions. Oh, my Pongy's broken. I'm down for not sharing.

Can I be a dissenter really fast? I think Pongy's really mid. I think it's candy. We go top of candy? Oh, bro. Not sharing at least. What the fuck you're talking about? I'm literally 50-50 on this. Pocky's great. I think it's just not, it's so nice. Pocky's just so nice. It's

no pirouette. Let's be clear about that. Pirouettes are different. What is a pierwet is a dessert? It's pirouettes are the cylindrical tubes where the outside is a wafer, the inside is chocolate. You ever had that? What about a Milano? That's made by the same company. What are you talking about? Purewets.

What are you talking about those things. Do you ever have them Oh, I was making up pepper farm. Those are good. Those are good. The average farm pirouettes. Dude, you mix that in a coffee? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. So this, I think Pockies are like, you know, kind of the lame-ass version.

That's what I'm saying. It's not even, like, Pocky isn't even really a Halloween candy. No, but whatever, maybe. Milano's are. I love Milanos. I don't like how to eat them. It's like the chocolate is like ghostly. You can't eat just the top.

I mean, you can. But, uh, let's just all go around. What are we saying? Oh, for Pocki? Not sharing. I put it in bag filler. I'll go candy, but not sharing wins. The tie.

Put it at the bottom. This is just so the fucking the trash taste of runoff won't fucking crucify us. Pop rocks were made for blowjobs and to put on top of things like ice cream and cupcakes. Has any of you actually done that? No, never.

Wait, is that a thing? Yeah, Pop Rock Blowjob. You ever heard about that? No. It does taste the explosion on the package. Right. Wouldn't it hurt? That's what I'm doing.

I just think it's a window. Nothing burger. I think it would... No, it would be a nothing. Pran of Spain. Let me... Audio files. Wait, can we all do it once? Can we all do it once? I want to get it in your...

Get it in your damn mouth. I love. This is crazy. Dude, this isn't. This is crazy. No one does it like them. No. It sounds like a grill.

You press them between the roof of your mouth and your tongue and then they're just like popping in this like weird minefield. Dude, and you know what I like about pop rocks? There's no parent company. It's just pop rocks. Yeah. They said, they said, fuck you, dude. Fuck you Viacom. They said, no, they said, well, these are made by Zeta Especial in Spain.

Product of Spain. Pop rocks. Wow. These are, these are dope. These are, these are dope, man. Processed with carbon dioxide? What other candy can say that? Answer me.

These are crazy. Maybe none. That's so tough. I think they're goaded, man. Dude, they have goaded? There's milk in these. I love this shit. Goated.

They're fucking goaded. They're just awesome. They're fun. I do think they're awesome. Dude, they're goaded. Hold on the table. I think it begs the question. It's like, what do you want out of candy, right?

Because once you do that one time, it's like, okay, I'm done now. Like, I had my fun. Where's your whimsy? Where is your whimsy? What? My whimsy died when I became a furry. I feel like you should have, yeah, it was L.S. Dude, imagine the Ellis candy tierless?

I don't know. I don't know. I haven't really had this one. And I'm actually on a diet, so I won't even eat here. What's that GROC where he's going to say? AI, what's the most popular candy by gross market sales? I don't like a cap of course I don't fucking eat candy

That's an interesting question You know what I'm saying This is goaded It's goaded Here's why Aiden Because I'm considering this is like If I walk into the office And on that big brown table in there

One of these candies is just sitting there How excited am I about seeing that Yeah but you would never casually eat pop rocks right It's not about that It's not really about that It's like if I see it It's not really about that right if I see it on the table

I'm racing to go put those in my mouth. We're racing to go get it and put it in our mouths. Hey let me ask you a question. What's the last thing you put in your mouth? Let me ask you a question. How do these work? Yeah. That's right. I heard that's what I thought. That's magic. I have no idea. Sheep, quiet. Every other candy you can explain how it works. Goated? Pop rocks? Goated. Goated. Goated. Goated. Goated. You lose. God. Aiden's tearless would be everything F and then Harribo would be goaded. Rees's cops, dude. Can I get a Reese. Are you fucking kidding me?

I... It's the best. This is my childhood saddest candy because it's the... It was one of the most popular things that would get given out but I just... It was a blank.

It's tough. Wait, you didn't eat them, right? No, I've never eaten one. Oh my God. It just... They're goaded. Did these get smaller too? No.

Did they go down in size? No. They changed the wrapping so it's pathetic now. Reeses are goaded. Reese's pieces are goaded. Every type of Reese's is fucking go-to.

Everything's goaded, I guess. Everything. Put it all in goaded. Put it all in-goated. It's just like mama used to make, bro. They're so good. It's like Butterfinger's tear. These are almost as good as butter fingers. These cups are amazing. They're not as good. They're under Butterfingers, but they are almost as good.

And what they do well is the chocolate is is not a, it's not a main show. It's a side character. Yeah. The chocolate is taking a backseat to the star of the show. It's thin. It lets itself, it lets itself add. And it's greater than the some of its parts. There's also a thickness

to the ridge and the bottom. And then the softness of the chocolate on the top and it adds an adventure of like, and Nick, not to, not to sound too-faced here, I've fridged this before.

I wanted to bring up the fridge because when you put these in the fridge, they're insane. Give me out of this game. I fridged this before. When you fridge any chocolate candy that has a propensity to melt pretty easily.

Because it has a propensity. It has a propensity to melt. And you eat it. You're like, wow, actually, it's almost better out of the fridge. There's like a component. It's like, why would I want to drink a Coke that's warm? I think out of the box, rather than a Coke that's from the fridge.

Over half our goaded tierless is just peanut butter. That's what I'm learning. Peanut butter candies. They're good at it. That's why I was so critical of payday. I'm like, how do you fuck that up? I think that their ridge, the ridge is probably the best part too. The ridge on it. Just Aiden

like gnawing around the ridge. Ridge for his pleasure. It is crazy to think, like, not just Aiden, but people who are allergic to peanuts, like they just haven't, they don't get to have of Reese's. This actually is remarkably this is what Halloween was like for me. I loved Halloween, right? But you would come home with a huge sack

of candy and then literally half of it I would throw away or give to my dad because I couldn't eat it. Oh, fucking Corwin, cold cock, Corwin. I can't stop looking by the way at his white painted nipples. They're so crazy. Why are just the nipples painted white? No, everything's painted white. He's fully painted white. He's white.

It was... Okay, okay, Reese's pieces. I mean, what are we doing? They're They're goaded. I don't even need to try it. I don't even think I need to try it. They're goaded as well. I think they're also goaded. Yeah, they are. I think they're not sharing. I think you guys are a bit excessive here. Dude, they're just doing what peanut butter, what what peanut M&Ms do. I guess they, it's minus the peanut butter. I think they're worse than peanut. You're right. Yes, I think it's an easy non-sharing. We put at the top, though.

Because they just do what they do so well. I yeah, absolutely not go-ed. That's going to be a controversial part of this list for people. I don't think it's controversial at all. Oh, Oh my god, the Shaq Gummies. Okay, so really confused how these made it into a list as general as this. Like, it's not like we're doing all sorts of awesome influencer stuff. So are these bigger than I realize?

It's not popular. Is it his head? Wait, they're big. I think he's got a Walmart deal or something. Oh, it's Shaq. Yeah, it's his whole ass head. And they're big because he's big. And you only get one flavor. Look at that. Guys, Aiden's sad. Why? You guys let me know when it's one I can eat. You can eat this one. It's Shaq his face. Yeah, Shaq.

The basketball player, it's not peanut at all. Okay, all right. Hey, hey, sit. Hey, boy, sit, boy, sit. Sit, boy, sit. Oh my God, I actually goes into my mouth. I didn't know that. Hold. Swallow.

You need, swallow it. Swallow it. Swallow it. I told you we should have wrapped it in cheese. These smell terrible. I didn't know I could actually eat through this. Yeah, I didn't either. And there is a hole, and you can do things with that now that I realize you couldn't

before. This smells like a chemical. Dude, this. Ew. I know. This, all the texture is so gross. The taste is so gross. Thano Snap. Get rid of it. This is disgusting. Dude, this is really bad. Yeah, it's horrible. They're insanely horrible. That's so bad. I don't want to... Bought them. The worst candy we've had so far.

That's great. I'll put it in my empty nerds gumming. Did you eat it, Eamon? Yeah. Hey, you got to try a candy. What'd you think, Eamon? It was fucking shit All right Okay, red Skittles Wow

I don't know guys I got some shit to say Yeah this is What? Oh god I want this out of my fucking life What can you say about Skittles? A bit of a discussion What else can you take away from me

Oh you like these? I like Skittles How much do you like them How it's the most you've ever lost On a coin flip You ever had a white skittal? I don't really want to share them So Skittles have a problem

Did you guys ever take an entire bag of Skittles all eat it all at once and chew it into a big skittles? Yes, yes, I always regret it. I always regret it, but you keep doing it. I did it with bubble tape as once too. It was crazy. Oh, a bubble tape's crazy. It was crazy.

It was crazy. And Big League. Yeah, Big League. Yeah, Big League's fucked. So I think the problem with red Skittles is that the other ones are always better. Like tropical? If I see blue or purple packages, I'm way more happier.

What the fuck are we talking about? Sour Skittles. Sour Skittles are awesome, yeah. I don't think they're skittles. They basically just took skittles and made it better and arguably. Yes. But I still think skittles are candy. I would argue, though. That's true for basically all gummy bears as well and gummy worms. For a lot. Maybe I'm weird. Every single normal skiddle flavor is disgusting to me. I don't know why. Yeah. Wait, so you're sitting here telling me it's Thanos nap. I don't think you can Thanos stabs. I think that's our mainstack. Because you're such a fucking cock sucker for their marketing and you love their rainbows. No, I don't even care about the rainbows. I don't care about hummus. sexuals, anything like that. In fact, I have resentment

toward homosexuals. But... This is the wrong week. Thanos. This is the wrong week for that. Thanos, why? Cratos. I think... I think it's too irresponsible

to take Skittles out of, you know, existence. But it's truly bag filler to me. I think it's candy. This is candy, man. I think it's the... go to the doctor, they gave me some candy. That's candy. You know what? I put it in my car and I never

fucking touch it. Aiden, what do you say? He's thinking? I don't want to share them. Not sharing. I don't want to share. You love Skittles that much. I love Skittles. I love Skittles. I'm sick and tired of hiding it. And I join Aiden. I was sick and tired. It wasn't a choice. Do you like skills? I join Aiden. I'm not sharing. I join Aiden. I'm not sharing.

Why? I'm not sharing the skittles. You already just said it's candy. I switched. What do you switch? I switched. I agree with you. It's candy. I switched. I do feel a moral tremor from seeing this above gummy bears. Dude, there's no way it's better than a gummy bear. There's just no way.

It's not. But you whittled gummy bears down to something it isn't. Put Skittles under gummy bear. Come on. Can we agree there? Aiden, change your vote. Aiden, please. One under gummy bear. I'm changing it. And I'm using my one time to move

gummy bears to not sharing. Wow. I love that. That's a political move. I love that. That is a combination move. What a brave man. He uses one time

and a way to get two choices in. Yeah. That's actually a Yu-Gi-O turn. That's very custom. That was a Yu-Gi-Turn. Okay, Snickers. Guys, what are we talking about here with Snickers? It's just...

Snickers marketing worked on me because one time I was hungry and I ate one. Really? Real shit. Wait, because you weren't you? I wasn't me. But then you were...

You were you? But then I was me. Because you weren't hungry. What a crazy commercial. I love the vein in it. Yeah. Well, there was the, they were all saying it's like they took the vein out of Snickers. Oh, can I show you guys how I eat Snickers?

Okay. So you open the Snickers. Okay. Turn, vein towards your tongue. Lick vein. And tip. Plug the tip. Right there.

Then put it in your asshole. What are you talking? What's your tongue? I didn't make fun over how I eat you You lit the vein Kiss the tip Yeah Freeze it

Freezing put a condom on it Fuck yourself Oh well that's crash Why would I go that far? Are you being for real? No Oh my God I thought you were being for real

I thought genuinely Because we've been so autistic About how we eat candy I was like sure I don't lick the vein Then suck the tip And then eat the sticker slime See it's

Why am I crazy? Sometimes he can't It's a rare moment. You can see how it's actually not that far from what he was doing before. Yeah, it really is similar. It's a lot more phallic. Snickers are pretty good. Yeah, I think it's candy.

I don't think it's not sharing. I think it's just... I think it's better than all the other ones like it, like it's over Milky Way. It is the Mario of candy bars. I don't think it's the Mario. I think it's better than Skittles. What's Mario? I think Hershey's is Mario.

I don't know. Hersies is like Mario 1. Snickers is like Super Mario World. I feel like Hersies is like... It's like steamboat Willie to Mickey Mouse. It's so bare bones. I think Snickers is candy. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And here's the crazy thing, not to get all macronutrient on a candy tier list, but a bear bell tastes dead ass the fucking same. These days, I think Nuget, protein bars have gotten eerily close to tasting like candy. That's what I'm saying. Like the protein bar tech has gone insane and like what the candy companies do

is change literally nothing and just market it. Yes. But it's gone to the point where protein bars are tasting like fucking candy bars, but they're able to do with five grams of alcohol sugar and 20 grams of protein. What's the bar that has the guy's name on it that's really popular? David? David. They're horrible.

They're horrible? Those are a scam. Whoa. They tested a David bar. It says it has 150 calories and 30 grams of protein. It's 230 calories. It only has 23 grams of protein. That's illegal.

That's illegal. What the hell? How the hell they do that? Where's the FDA on this one? They're shut down right now. Oh, awesome. Yay. Awesome.

What I kill you, David? Um, dude, what more can you say? It should be easy, right? It's just goaded, man.

Can we, can we unite for one moment? I think we can. I think this one is the one where we all set aside our differences. I agree.

It's a fucking sour patch kid. It's sour, they're sour, they're sweet. Do I need I say the rest? If it's not goaded, then what do we even have? Can I say one thing about these?

Not to, A place, we were having a moment. I think they're goaded. Good, okay. Good man. I'm glad you said that. You know, I will say, I don't like, because recently the blue Sour Patch kid has entered the main cast. I don't know if you guys noticed this. He's new.

So he's new. I think he was only available in like other, like, fun types of, but now he's in the main bag. But I'm noticing the fun size bag does not contain the blue cast member. Bitch. You just got a luck. Wait. He's got a lot. I thought it was green.

No, it is green. He's on the package. He just got on luck. Happened. He is in the package. He is unlucky. Just kidding. Win-lane lose game.

These are goaded. Easy. Move on. They also just... Oh my god, yeah! It should remind me of being at the movies as well. This is, I would trade it for anything. I'd trade it for a head.

No more head, but you get sourpatch gates instead? Yeah. That's beautiful, man. I think I might. hands up is still very much on the table. Talk to your girlfriend. Hey, I have a deal. Sorry, I made a deal with the devil today.

I know no one is forcing this upon me and I know there's no trade off actually, but I've decided to give up. Anytime this would normally happen between us, I'll eat sour patch kids instead. Starburst is one of the most fucking annoying candy in the world because you open the two pack and you might just get two of the same

bullshit cock sucker flavors. Snake guys. Right there. We'll see what we got. I'm hoping for... Wow, look at this. Double orange twice? I think the dream is a red and pink. Please, please, please, pink red.

Double pink. Dude. Double pink's good. Double pink. I got two in the pink. Hello. You want double pink? You want red pink.

Guys, I'd like to trade one of my pinks. Here's the problem. With Starburst, default Starburst, again, the tropical flavors are way better. I don't like kind of any other flavors. I think orange is bad. Lemon is bad. Tink is bad. I do think a lot are bad.

Starbursts are mid as hell. Can anyone take the Starburst rapper off the Starbursts just in their mouth? I can do it. I did it once. It's hard. Yeah, I learned it from Drake on Drake and Josh. Is it like a kissing thing? Yeah. Yeah, he does it with the cherry stamp. It's really hard. Because you can't do it with your teeth. It's really good on there. Oh, you're so mid. Yeah, dude, they suck. Wait. It is the most bag filler of all time. Aiden's getting upset. I like Starburst or bag filler. Oh, what is it? No, I thought it. Oh, the Peanut Man. Oh, the Peanut Man. Oh, the Peanut Man likes the Starburst. Who can't have the best candies in the world?

We'll just have an opinion. No, it's probably a bag filler. Yeah, it's back filler. I used to love these, though. Yeah, as a cute, we liked them a lot, right? I like them. I like them. I bought these recently.

As a kid, once again, this is the tropical kind? What context? Like a stick of Starburst? Yeah. We're out. Just a stick at like a movie or like an outing or something. He said, I'm going to eat these on my way walking around today. It was like a few weeks ago.

And I was like, you know what? I'm going to have a nice day. Yeah, it worked my way through. Oh, it was on the ferry to Catalina Island, I think. I just bought a pack of starburst. That's weird. Oh, guys, we're at one of my childhood favorites. This one's fucking crazy.

Sugar Daddy. Dude, I'm gonna throw up so hard after this. It's like real Halloween. Ew, what the fuck is this? It's a crazy candy. I don't think so. I've never had this. These are dope, if I remember them.

Had these not, did these used to be pops or were they just normal? Okay, that, hey. Oh. Yeah. So much rapper. The rapper thing has always been an issue. It's not new. Yeah, they just never solved it.

There's never sold. Oh, mine came off. You can actually, you finesse it. Oh, good. Okay, I kind of hate this. I kind of hate this. You hate it? I mean, like, there's paper on my, on my product.

I got it. Okay. There's paper and there's white craters. He's got to keep working at it. I love these. This is, this is, do you just say all to the thing you said to love? cleanly come out. I can cleanly come out and say, I'd than I snap this for nothing. I'd get rid of it forever. I didn't know it existed until right now and I'd happily get rid of it forever. This piece can't be chewed through. This is a different type of piece. This is like a different material. Oh, you got a bone. This is your face. I think this is one of the worst things I've ever put in my mouth. Like never. I've sucked myself. I would rather suck myself off. This sucks so bad. I like this. But I'll all respect whatever you guys vote.

I'm outnumbered. Okay, we vote Thanos, Sna. Jesus Christ. I can't ever have one again. This is my last one. That's crazy. If you want to use your one time. You want to use your one time. He's saying, nope, and just stuck it on it.

I like it. Swedish fish. Swedish fishin. Svensk. Thesno snap. Swedish fish is my favorite candy growing up because I was Swedish. and I was like, that's so cool.

And then I found out it's Canadian. Wow. So it's really hidden everything for me. Yeah, that is crazy. But I used to love them and I would eat them by just folding him in half. I could literally never forget the taste. Don't even need to have them right now.

Thanos, Snap or bag of filler, Max. You're not allowed to say, Thanos, but you don't even try it. On Swedish fish? I love Swedish fish, men. And I was going to go. I know exactly what the taste. I've had a million growing.

I would go. You know what? They've gotten softer over the years. I'd go top, top of bag filler. Swedish fish does have been soft. It's the softest of the gummy. Maybe I've only eaten stale ones. I'd go, I'd go top of bag filler on this.

I think it's candy. I think I'm firmly candy. I think calling a bagfiller is actually offensive. I'll go bottom candy with you. I think, I think you are an absolute fucking coward if you say bagfeller for this. Oh, go backfiller. This is candy as candy gets.

As candy as candy gets. I think you're, I think you're right. And I hate it. I gave the texture, the flavors, whatever. Like, you're looking at this. They made sour Swedish fish? Oh! That would hit fucking crazy. I think you're getting... I think we've been doing this for a while. You're getting candy exhaustion,

but this is not on the same tier's dots. It's just not arguable. I'm trying to stay fresh because I'm not exhausted, but I'm being honest with myself. It's a fun shape. It's filled with red 40, which everybody loves. And it also says Swedish on it. Okay, before you guys are fucking creaming because it says crunch of the crunch bar. Now you're ignoring this as Swedish on the fish. And you're like, I don't have to try it. ass. Like, what are we talking about here? You fucking giving up on this experiment. This shit's candy. I love the passion. I just do. I just love the passion. You, he said you were a coward

because you didn't eat the fish. I just ate it. I'm sorry. I did it. I'm sorry. And you want to immigrate here. They're shooting the fucking skull for saying that. Man, I, look, I just don't think they taste that good. That's really all it is. I'm a red hater. Anything that's red, cherryish, strawberryish. Yeah. I usually don't like. I think red is awesome. British fish, I like the red. And that's hard for me to get. That's hard for me to do. And he doesn't usually like the red.

I don't usually like the red. And you can mold it to look like a penis. That looks really funny. Oh, that looks good. Wait, I didn't know about that. Damn. Goated maybe? That looks like penis.

And then this is how I eat them. Wait, so candy. I got candy. Okay, I'm cool with candy. I think that's fair. Yeah. All right, Tootsie rolls. Can we eat Thanos snap and move on, bro?

Theno snap. Theno snap. Theno snap. Whoa. Okay. I also say Thetno snap and I want to hear you well. I want to hear your defense. Let me just say an addendum, the vanilla or the flavored tootsie rolls.

Different story, different story. The orange tootsie roll, oh, bitch. I think these are bag fillers. I think these are literally the quintessential bag fillet. No, they are the quintessential bag filler, which is actually why I want to Thanos snap them. Because I never want them. But here's the thing, you Thanos stamp the Tootsie roll, and then the next thing it becomes a bagfiller will be a greater evil than the Tutsi rolls. The Tutsi rolls.

The Tutsi rolls is that meme of the fucking soldier right here. And then we're at home sleeping kindly and softly. I didn't sue you. A bag full of shackilicious. You're saying that instead of my bag being filled with candy corn, yes. Tootsie roll is actually taking its spot and it has an important role to play. It is blocking us and it's ultimately not that bad.

I mean, it's not like, it's not great. I don't know, man. If someone were to say, do you want a candy corn or a tutsie roll, I'd be like probably a candy corn, I guess. Really? I hate Tutsi roll. I'm the only brave Mujudine who actually tried it. No, I'll eat it.

I'm just saying, actually. girlfriend said, I said, do you like candy corn for science? She said, it's one of my favorite candies ever. I told you girls like candy corn. It's in their fucking blood. It's just And they fucking phones. And they're addicted charging them. Yeah, I'm going I'm going back filler. And if you guys

want to outvote me, you can. I think you made a good argument. You can make me. This sucks. This tastes like a protein bar. No. He hates protein bar. I love protein bars. I don't think he tastes a protein bar. I think he tastes like butthole. This is bad man. But I'll go backfiller. At the bottom though, the very bottom. You cool with that?

I'm cool with that. Okay, back on the... This is that 1920s shit. This is like Coney Island shit. I don't have one. That is. Tutsi pop and I got blue. Now, weird enough.

Weird enough, the Tutsi Pop, the Tutsi roll that exists inside the center of a Tutsi Pop is way more palatable than the Tutsi roll inside of Dutzy Roll. How many licks does it take to get to the... Do that as a kid? A one.

She's so hard. I did it at lunchtime. How many licks? It was like 200 something. I know this girl. Her name was, Jessica in school. She said she knew, but I knew she was lying. It is not 200 licks. I don't remember. I was like middle school. I don't remember. But I did it at lunch with my friends. When the owl did it in the commercial, it only took him three. Because he bit. Because he couldn't wait. Yeah. I will say. Mine was already open. The tutsi. It's a whole. It's funny to have the, uh, the Tutsi pop that is already Tutsi pop flavored. The brown one. I get the brown one. Um, either way. I like that it's a game. I think they're fun. But again, it's like I don't like Tutsi roll. So fuck, what's my prize?

The worst candy ever? No, but it tastes better when it tastes better. It tastes better when it emerges from the candy. It tastes good. And I, yeah, I think these are, I, it's funny because they're not, not sharing. Actually, dude, I think they're not sharing. No. Because if there's one on the table out there and it's a flavor I like, I might be like,

oh, that's my Tootsie Bob. A son of a bitch who actually has the balls to say what he fucking thinks. I'm saying what I'm thinking. I'm not afraid anymore. These Tootsie Pops are pretty fucking good. They're pretty good. And I know these guys are going to try to. push a candy vote on us, but I'm telling

we filibuster them. I don't know if there's a single sucker on the planet that is above candy. What about chuba chub. What's that? I never heard that. Chubchup's the biggest lollipop in Europe. And they have the cold flavored? They're just physically big? No, no, it's just like the most popular. I don't know it. I think a bank lolly hits pretty hard

sometimes. There's never been a more candy. Oh, I guess dumb-dums are pretty fire. At the bank. Yeah. Is this not the best lollipop we have in the States? You want me to put this shit next to gum tires. Dumb Dumb Dums. Also, Carmel Appel Pops. Clear Tudule Pops. No, no, no, no, too much.

No, Carmel Appel Pops is great. I hate Carmel Appel Pops. They hate it when you're in 10 years old and fourth grade. When you're fucking 10 year old fucking glue. You're put your whole pop is better than a caramel apple pop and a dumb dumb. All fucking, I put my whole dick on that. All 70. All 70. Where am I? On Deerian. I say that on Deerian. And I usually don't say that. Dude, that's fucked. I think I think Tozipops, I think specifically blue Tozzie Pop is the best we have to offer for American lollipops. I like the chocolate one. Really?

Yeah, I like, I'm just, let's commit. What are we doing? Let's do a thing. He doesn't get it. Also, I like the chocolate axe growing up. Like chocolate what? Axe. I think chupiches are goaded and I would put these not sharing.

Not sharing. Not sharing? Dude, that is fucked up. Aiden, save me. You're both going, I'm going lower. I'm going candy. Cal ranked. But we win, we lose by the rules that we've made.

Aiden, we have a one time. I have a one time. You have a one time. I'll one time this to cancel your one time. Dude, he's going to counter one time. Well, who goes first? Can you trap card one times like that?

Who goes first? It doesn't matter. It's just if I use it, you can save yours. Actually, it should be double blind. What if we both do it? And then it's RPS. And then the person who loses loses loses their one time.

Well, then you would be one timing for the lower? Yeah, I want a one time to 20-year-olds to be in candy. Well, okay. No, I think in this situation. Because if I won time, then it just goes to the default one time, and then it goes to the higher tier by the rules. That's fair. Wait, wait, wait.

Because both of your one times have canceled each other out, and then you're just going by the whatever the standard rule, which is that it's not sharing. How am I missing this? I don't go out. Because the tie goes to the higher category. How would it be a tie of an RPS? We're not doing RPS. I'm saying I use my one time. Oh, that's what I was saying.

One time should be decided about. We both do it. It should be decided by RPS. It just should cancel it out, because I don't want to gamble. I don't have to gamble this Oh my god, he's growing as an adult I like Tixie Pops a lot All right, you can put it there man

But I think it's fucked up What you guys are doing I think it's fucking run around You put pixie six in bagged filler Yeah we all beat your ass after this shit We all agreed man I don't care Alright

Twix My sweet baby As a boy who could not eat The Peanut Chocolates This is my absolute favorite I got right You got right in this day? Yeah

Twix is one of the worst fucking. I got left. I got left. I got left. We're two left. Left, left, right? Okay, well, you don't have a twin. Statistically, that doesn't work. It's like we are our politics. Break me off a piece of that. Twix bar. I think Twix kind of sucks. Wait, what's Twix? It's been one of my least favorite

chocolate bars. Twix is a need a moment. Stupid. Right? Get a moment? Grab a twig. Need a moment? I don't remember what. It's grab a twigs. It's awesome. but this is not sharing. Easy. It's not even questionable. It's not even questionable. It's an easy not sharing for me. It's also one of the dopest names of a candy. It's above crunch easily. What? It has because it has like a hard. Yeah, you're great. It's like a hard crunch. It has a carmokes. They're great. Twix pisses me off. I think I'm just a caramel hater.

There's also a fridge candy. I think it's without a doubt not sure. I could even see a goat argument occurring for this. I'm going to throw up. Oh, I know I'm with, I'm going to throw up. I would like it to be an extra crunch, but I could see you making that argument. I would like it to be above Almond Joy, bro. Yeah, I'm above Almond Joy. Can you go back on Almond Joy like that? I'm not that picky about this. No, I think they're both electric.

Dude, Twix is good, man. Cook sucks, and I'll stand by that. Twizzlers! I hate Twizzlers. Why? Because Red vines are right there. Red vines are the inferior? No, they're not, bro.

Uh-oh, uh-oh. Thanos snap. Yes, bro. What? Yes. Get out. What is he dick? We get rid of them forever.

and we just have, we have red vines forever. I thought you said you hate things that are red. I do usually. But when things are red that I like, they hold a special place in my heart. Do they went too sweet with it? So you're just saying, I think things that are red are bad or good?

I usually just don't like red flavoring. They just went too sweet with it. Twizzlers, okay, I think I have a Pavlovian response to Twizzlers. How does this contain wheat? Don't worry about that, sweet. Don't worry about that. I think I have a Pavlovian response because in school, I think I had teachers that would give these out if, for, like,

if you're a good. good answers. And I just, it created a response to that. And I like them. So now you have positive feelings? Yeah. And I just like Twizzlers. I will say this. The Twizzlers black licorish. Am I crazy? You're 35. I hate black licorish. Dude, 35 moment. Black licorish hits. You would love Germany. And maybe I would. Most of Germany's chocolates or candies are just black licorish, salted black licorice candies. I want to snap these. I want to snap these. So bad. I think snapping. I put them in candy. But we don't. We don't have to snap them. We don't have to snap them.

They're fucked up. I think snapping these are fucked up. We don't have to snap them. Because I'm also putting these because these in red vines I'm cool with. This is not shackilicious, bro. I don't pick a warrior in the Denny's eye hot battle. I can see, you know, I like them both. I don't pick a warrior in the Red Vines Twizzlers. I like both

here. And I think Twizzlers to me is like it's a much better bagflier than Totsie Roll. Oh my God. I want to one time these so bad. I hate them. I hate them. Yeah, but we wanted to snap Tutsu's too. Do it out of the hate hate in your heart because I did mine out of love. I'm going bag filler and so I think it should go back What are you? That you're snapping? He's that he snapped

I want to snap. I mean candy so it would end up in bag filler. Well we don't have a lot left. It's just whoppers right I'm one-timing this into into Thanos snap I want them out of the world not Twizzlers bro I want them out of the fucking world I like how brave you are I appreciate how brave you are to be able to make the decisions that other people are too weak to make oh come on one timings into Thanos tab do I but at the top of you want I don't care I hate I Thanos slap. I fucking... It doesn't matter for the

Thanos snap, bro. Be brave. Thanos mushroom tip. All right. Woppers. Weird. Weird. A malt candy. I... Malt is like a whole... You either like or you don't. Yes. I've gotten shit for this all my life. Love whoppers. I don't know what malt is. Dude, you are just...

Kill yourself! You were there when they made it, bro. I wasn't there when I made up 35. It's just like, you're sitting here going... What, do you not like Woppers? I love black licorice and malt candy. I love... I love getting diseases that I don't know how to affect my body. I hate how whoppers feel when you chew them.

I like it. It's like not chalk. It's that it's that distinct malt experience. It's basically, uh, what do you call it? It's like pop rocks, but for, dude, I hate it so much. For dudes. You hate Woppers? I hate it.

It's one of the worst things I put in my mouth and I've done it a dozen times. I'm so surprised. I can't open mine. They're just not good, man. Look at a hell of yours. I actually, you know it's so funny I almost didn't try them and they taste so much worse than I remember

their ass. I love them. You'd always find I love this shit. You'd always find one of these at the bottom of your Halloween bag not in a rapper. Yeah. Like how the fuck did it get out? Sometimes you can't fuck it break it. Sometimes it gets out. And I'm snapping this. I'm snapping this shit. Send it. I'm goaded. I'm goaded? Yeah. You are being facetious No. No, no.

You are going further on the right so the center is closer to the right. I'm gonna make this easy for us. I'm also snapping. There we go. I feel really, I feel, I feel sad right now. Zipper, back, try to move it to where we said. I've really, zipper likes Whoppers too, dude. Zippers crying.

Why is it like Woppers? Because they're good. I love them so much. Actually, I just want to make it clear. I'm not being facetious. I love them. Hold on. I'm thinking about this.

I'm thinking about this. Dude, we just had a fucking agreement. No, but I think I've made a mistake. No, milkshakes are good malted. Because I'm just looking at the five candies I've placed this next to. It's a little weird, right? And I realized that I've, I put it at the bottom of bag filler.

I really would. Because the five next to it, I hate so much more than whoppers. Right. Even though it tastes terrible. It would be crazy to Thanos snap something that's good. Lud, can we sidebar? I would eat 100 woppers before one piece of candy corn.

So what is that? Would that equal? Did that go to backfiller then? Yeah, I would say alive. I was shooting the fucking head. Not one time. Shoot the fucking skull. Dude, I can't. I want time. Put it down like a dog. You double tap one time woppers? Like his

courage JD? Boo, boom, boom. That is crazy. I once put it down like a fucking dog. Can we put Kerritin? And by the way, I want time it all the way to the bottom. Can we? I can't, dude. I am. Yeah, he gets to say that. I'm blown away. It's a little fucked up. I'm under shack. I want to, I want to bury it.

Why do you hate them so much? You just did I hate it. I genuinely hate every part about it from the taste to the way it feels in my mouth. Before you put it all the way bottom, can I just say that when people see that Whoppers are the very last one, they're going to worry about the integrity

of our whole list. Don't care. They're going to think that we're super biased. Bo, boom, boom! All right. Key Perge. You can do whatever he wants. Is it where you heard the man?

Where would you guys put courage, JD, on this? I put him not sharing. He's running a marathon this weekend. Dude, he got so fit. He does look very fit. It's hard to do that. Uh-oh. Surprise candy.

Surprise candy. The very bottom. Surprise candy. Yeah, that's what he said. That's what he won time for. A joy ride? What's this? Dude, these are boss.

Are these... Are these... Do they look terrible? They do look terrible. Okay, so I haven't had strips, but I've had the joy ride, like... Like ginger. The ones that are like Sour Patch Kids?

Yeah. They were comparably good to Sour Patch Kids. So Joyride is Ryan Trayhan's candy The YouTuber I think it's Oh the pedophile I think it's hard to

Go wrong With sour Like this type Like airheads or sorry No What is this flavor Strawberry lemonade Okay

Now we're paying lemonade So I'm 100% certain If this was a flavor That I liked This would be awesome Because it's like The perfect type of sour It's a great consistency

But I hate this flavor A flavor A flavor is a little weird It tastes like Windex. But I like it. It's weird, but in a good way for me. Nick doesn't like it. I like this.

I've had Joyride, like, at its peak, I feel like, with like the Sour Patch Kid type of stuff. And that was like, that was honestly, I mean, the thing is, dare I say not sharing or goaded. I grabbed what we had. And most of what we have for Feast or Joy Rides has been robbed. Been eaten. Been eaten already. Yeah. It's been like devoured.

I haven't. And, you know, I like to steal from the office. I haven't stolen any of these. But I've had had it, and it's pretty good. I think it's Godlike. I think it's my favorite candy right now. Not sharing. I think it's Godlike.

I put this goaded. I think what I do like about this flavor is that it is, like, he's nailing the low sugar thing. Like, it's just not overwhelming. It's not the best tasting candy I've ever tasted, but it's light, and that's the intention. And it's kind of like pucky where like, I'm not eating this for a euphoric experience. Wait, what? Can we put the death penalty back in and then just put it in it? No.

Why? The Ludwig's finally on a tearless episode, so he has to veil up in, and I use my one time. Oh, right, because he's ever been here when we made that choice. Oh, my God.

Yeah, we can really quick do these because we talked about them. The Haribot Gummy Colas, I think they're goaded. Where is Joyride go? I want to put it in goaded. What'd you say? Where's Joyride go?

Joyride. I don't know. You want to put it in go, not sharing. Not sharing as well. Not sharing. I'm down to lose that. Um, we, the feastables

You guys said, I thought this is bag filler But you guys all said not sharing Not sharing, I'll take it I think that's fine It's pretty good It's the bottom of the almond, right? It's pretty good chocolate I like the peanut butter one of one

It's so good It was a great sour I know A normal Jolly Ranchers I would put as candy Yeah I'm gonna have minis That's for you kiddo

I don't know I mean you eat them every day Beas of yogurt A lot of them We don't have to rank that. And then bottle caps, this is my all-time gore. It's my all-time go-to. It's my all-time go-to.

If you guys, like... Are you one-timing? I don't have it. But I'm just telling you it's my all-time go-to. Oh, I hear you. Backfiller. I'd go candy on bottle-cats. I think there are bottle-caps are a candy that I see.

I'm like, oh, I want one. And I have one and I go, I don't know why I wanted one so bad. You know, I never lives up to, like, how much I want one. But isn't that a candy? No. No, like, give me some shit. Shockers. So bag filler?

Wasn't one of my favorite candies. All right. Well, either candy or bag filler. Pick. Um, I'm gonna say... Pick Damon.

Candy. All right. Candy wins. Okay, sour skittles. We have to determine, are these better or worse than sour patch kids? I think they're slightly worse.

Way worse. I think they do too much damage to your mouth. They're in arguably worse. They do do damage. I would put them in not sharing you and I don't think they're goaded. Yeah, 100%. I put them in candy.

Dude, Oh, oh, I go not sharing then. Okay, not sharing then. Jesus. I feel like I got, live there. I don't really want to

like chop rod and nom. Yeah, that was crazy. And then I guess you can put... Wait, ring pop. We didn't... We didn't do them because we don't have them. I don't like ring pops. What I don't like him? I'm gonna fuck with ring pops. I'll just give me one. I don't like him man. Or you have a lovely one too because he's been trying everything. Oh my god, twisted berry blasts.

Wait, mine's mystery flavor. I'm gonna throw up so bad. Oh, it's just like old Halloween. I have to poop too. I might do both. I'm gonna shit awesome. You're gonna make such a crazy combo. So ring pops, I really admire what they were doing. I feel like they made the ring size for kids only. Um, I think you have clunky, chunky fingers. Wait, you go a good flavor. Mine's green. Yeah. I feel like my filler rules. I can't open packaging. Dude, mine tastes so like, this tastes terrible. That's the vintage ring pop flavor. This tastes really terrible. Mine tastes like, um, this is really bad. Who's the, who's the popular

yogurt company with the... Yo play. Yeah, it's like you'll play yogurt. Mine's cloudy like my piss. Yeah. Yes. A cloudy piss. A drink a lot of coffee. Yeah, I mean,

outside of the fun factor of it being on a ring, which, by the way, it's kind of shoddily done. Like, it's a bit melted around the bottom of the ring. I'd like to say a couple of things. One, the ring no longer fits me as an adult. Which is sad. That's sad. That's sad.

It makes me feel like old and like I'm not who I once was. and it's a harrowing sense inside my body. Two, it doesn't taste very good. I'm actually very surprised. Also, as a kid, I remember you'd eat these and then the juice of your spit and the sugar where I'll get all over your finger. I think that these, God, I don't want to snap them.

You don't want to snap them because if you're afraid to lose your childhood, but we should snap things from our childhood if they suck. It's a snap because they suck. You are a fucking coward because you are hiding behind nostalgia as opposed to genuine opinion. I want to snap them. I think it's the right thing to do. And we actually have to put one more.

What's that? We had to put the slime killers. I chew. Why are they slime killers? Because... Remember I had my permanent retainer in my mouth in the old house and I chewed one of these? And it fucking broke it out of my mouth. I don't have it anymore.

It literally pulled out the retainer from his back molar that was glued in there. It was crazy. Are we a high chew family or a mom? Mamba family. Hichu. Hightu over Mamba. You ever had Sour Mamba? No.

Like, Hichu's goaded. I don't think what to say. Goathe's amazing. It's got such a great texture, dude. It's amazing, bro. I wouldn't call it goaded. Really? I would just call it candy.

I don't care enough about Hichu, but the texture is great. I would go candy on Hichu. Ludwig, please. Nick, your pants on head. Goatid is one of the most absurd things I've ever heard. Goate is crazy. Butterfinger. It's next to Butterfinger. What the fuck are you talking about me?

This is a bad flavor, but. To me, I think it would be, I think it would be either top of candy or low, not sharing. Dude, if I have a pack of hichu, right? I go to top of candy. Generally small. That's like the, that is like the exact example of a candy that and someone's like, oh, can I have one?

I'm like, I don't really want to give you one. I want to eat all the hightchew myself. I don't know. I'll give you candy, but I'm not giving you anything else. Dude, hichu is so much more than just candy. No, bitch. It's not. Are you kidding?

And it's just candy in your bag. It's just candy. Okay, if you're in the comments right now and you agree with me, please let me know so I feel less alone. Because what the fuck? Well, guys, this was our awesome Halloween episode.

I feel terrible, by the way. I feel so, I need to throw up. I feel like shit's so bad. This has been three hours. I think Kerr and Shady should go in candy. I would put Kurt and J.D. not sharing right now. He's really fitting hot. Thanos snap.

I guess we'll never know. Not sharing is fine. I that looks funny so guys thank you we didn't cover a lot of candy there's like millions other candies covered a lot of candy we didn't cover baby bottle pop that's true but which I like anyway thank you for joining us we're all gonna go simultaneously throw up and let us know what we missed and what your favorite candy or anything that you disagree with spider man has left the building Miles Morales Morales is taking a dump he doesn't have the helmet on so all right goodbye bye