The Yard - Ep. 225 - We declare war.

Episode Date: November 12, 2025

This week, the boys talk about dropping atheism merchandise, a long time goal finally being achieved, and how we're declaring the candy war... Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Tyler! What up? Welcome back to the show! How's it goin, pussy? Tyler, I see you got a new black hat. Ugh. That's awesome, man. And Archie didn't even add a ding off camera.

You're so... Well, all we wanted to tell you, Tyler, is that if you go to yard. dot sale, you can get the yard black hat, the classic one, it's back. Fuck that. Take it off. Take it off site? Yeah, this hat's way valuable. The only way to take it off is if you all go buy it. Here's the thing.

Here's the thing. Here's the thing. I bought a thousand of the hats the last time it came out. That's why I don't could get them. I've been reselling the hats ungrailed. You've been grailing the yard hats. Yeah. Please get to the hat before Tyler gets to them all.

I don't know how he hatched this plan. I didn't know he knew about shapes and numbers. Friler told me about it. It's called drop shipping. Look, there's a big graphic of it. And if you want a hat, go buy it. Now, enjoy the episode. If you buy your pussy.

Without aided. No aiding episode. Aidanless. There must have been an angel by my side. You just make up songs to sing You never heard of Shaday You never heard of Shadee Because you said Shade

Yeah Shadee Shadee Oh you speak Yorobi now Of course I do Yeah of course I do What country is it from Yorobi?

Yeah That is the name of the lady That Morpheus is in love with In the Matrix This is actually It's actually the native tongue of Mexico That you know what You both nailed it

And I wish And I wish I could have I had this over here. People can be right twice. Yes. And that's me. People can be right wing.

You're doing the beard again. Yeah, I'm growing it out for the whole month. Oh, because it's November, right? November. It's November. It's November and I support men's health. Uh-huh.

Sorry, ladies. Did you do it? Give us a month. The word girls or their girls and you were with you. He's talking to all the ladies in the world. I thought we were the ladies.

I, honest to God, till now, thought he was a woman. would you go on a day with me if you thought I was a woman I'm taken no no like in a world where you're single in a world we're no no let me set it up you're okay so you didn't beat off this morning no he's all tense and you're at the bar

you're your tense bro I'll just put it that way all your tents and we're at the bar and you see me across the room and I turn my head slow motion but like only for you it's kind of weird sensation you see me you're gonna throw up Have you seen me? You're gonna say what?

Ew, dude. Why are you sweating? Sorry. You're literally sweating under your eyes. I saw you. It's the worst thing I've seen it all day. I'm really tense. You've never seen that.

You've approached me. I haven't jerked off yet today. It's right. And now I'm not gonna. I'm a man, so. Oh. I'm a guy. Yeah.

No problem to me. I haven't jerked off either. I even care about that. I even care about that. Okay. You, you genuine, you wouldn't. What if Nick, okay, how about this for a brain twister?

Okay. Crazy brain twister. Yeah, hit me. I love these. What if you never met cutusender all? She never was born. She didn't exist. There was a terminator situation and she just never existed.

And it's, it would be tragic, but. With butter today, I start crafting her. Today. Like out, like a statue. And I would be like, I know there's someone like this out there. Right, right. And I'm just crafting it out of butter every day. And every day it melts.

I have to get more butter I can only craft at night Yeah and then you have to feed the village Because there's no more butter Because you used all of it And you gotta decide if you take down the statue Or if you feed the village All these days pass by

Of you making this butter statue This woman But then you realize You don't need to do that anymore Because Nick Walks in To the coffee shop you're in And he looks just like Gutey Cinderella

That has never existed Right And this looks like the butter woman That you've been trying to do I'd be your buttergirl. So it's a woman and look but the exact personality of Nick

Does Does he know it's me Or he's ever met either You don't exist either But no one's making a butter such of you Okay so this is Except number two maybe Dude it's Jikoski's Romeo and Juliet

I see him Da da da da da da da It's kind of what he gave me if I was a worm But it's all it's I'm the I'm the personality I would love you Until I go to yield coffee tavern

and I get me a coffee and then I receive a fucking scroll from him that's like can you get me a coffee now? And it's like oh while I'm leaving the tavern yeah that's fine I guess this is not in the middle ages this is today I'm making a woman

of butter it's definitely the middle ages I thought you're doing it in 2025 he doesn't exist in the middle ages because they don't have call of duty and all kinds of things like oat milk and things he needs. Yeah, I would know. Yeah, with no oat milk, he would lose it. I actually don't know what I would fucking do. It would ruin him a lot for me. Yeah, you would probably just like drive into a river. Just trick shoting with bows and arrows. Trying to be the coolest kid. You would, you would do the same shit. You'd set a force on fire. You would trick shot with bows and arrows. Oh, whoa. That was a legend. It never happened. You would, you would, you would probably have killed someone. We all would have killed someone. That's how it worked back then. I don't know. I wouldn't have. You would have. To survive. No. Okay, then you would have died. What, me? Me. And then I would have killed someone. That's what I'm saying. So my question is, do you, do you, she looks like the beautiful visage of your girlfriend that never existed, but has Nick's personality and it's not in the middle ages and the modern day. Yes. How does that go? Um, no, you know what? Better question. It is her, but it's my body. See, see, now that. This is a classic. And it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, It's really her.

That is what I'm making. And she's like, I love to. I still love you. Yeah. What? It's because I look like Nick. No,

no, I would be full. I would rather her in Nick's body. Wow. Ravishing that every night. The Nick in her body, which I wouldn't touch.

Just plugging up his mouth with your dick. Yes. Because here's the question. If she got Harvey dented. Don't point. You're pointing so close to when you do it. If she got Harvey dented.

Okay. Okay, so she had half her face ballroom? If your girlfriend got Harvey Dented, do you stay with your girlfriend? Harvey Dented. Yes, half her face burned. No, she'd be busted. She'd be busted, is she still the mayor? Okay.

Is she still the mayor of Chicago? She is, she is what she, she literally is the exact same, but she happened to go through a Harvey Dent situation. My girlfriend turned two-faced? What was she talking about her coworker? Okay, but is she, but she's not the mayor of Gotham. She's not, she's the only relationship. to Harvey Dent is that half her face is burnt and looks crazy. This is how girls

think they look with and without makeup by the way. Yes. They're like, oh my God, I look fucking horrible. We, okay, if I, I think I can make it work. If I just, we already sleep on the same side of the bed all, or sorry, the floor, always. So I never, so

it's, if it's the side that is the other side, rolling over to become big spoon. Yeah, yeah, you're gonna wake up in the morning sometimes, so Harvey, freak out. I think I would just constantly be at an angle right

we would just it's like the moon rotation you never see the other side you definitely be a sit next to each other during dinner couple oh yeah you ought to sit next to each other

if your girlfriend's soul was trapped in a car would you still drive the car never everywhere and now we're and that's why we're different what happens if you crash the car and she feels all the pain

huh then I and then I would say we'll buff that out what if it's a pile up huh it's like it's like bad dude like she gets turned to a like a cue And I don't die

And I'm driving the car And you weirdly live Honestly safe car The safe car You fly out of the windshield Everything's fine Then I'll think She protected me

Wow She died She'd hear her scream You're gonna hear the scream So let me understand this You have another car You're driving in Yeah I would keep my girlfriend

Coyikes I don't care You're driving in another car Even though your girl's right there There's no other cars that are people There's no other cars that are people Well, she's the only car person

You think you have the only car person Well, you made her a car You evil genie Well, just that's where she's trapped You know what? I would just walk everywhere And I wouldn't take a bus Because that's also bad

A bus would be like an orgy Yeah, a bus is Oh my God, that'd be the worst A plane? You took a bus here And then you get in her And she's like, oh Yeah, she's like

Did you take an Uber here? Do you have people had sex on the bus? Worse What do you mean? People have sex everywhere in the planet Who had a handjob on the bus in sixth grade. No, hand jobs aren't sex.

Hand jobs are some other shit. I know, but I'm saying sixth grade hand job, it probably means adult sex is happening. That's a good point, but I just wanted... It scales. I want the Yard podcast to show that the hand jobs are not sex. I agree. So, I agree.

I also want the Yard podcast to show we just said sixth grade hand job. And I'd prefer we didn't. Well, that's what happened. The sixth grader gave a hand job. Dude, there was a sixth grader at my middle school who got head and it was crazy. So everyone found out.

And I was like, that's crazy. You felt weird about the sixth grader. hand job, then you jump to see the door. You open the door for the conversation. So you, so he, you're like, ew, I hate, I hate that. And then he shows you a big picture of the worst shit ever. And you said, well, I guess we have to talk about it now. Yeah, exactly.

He dives into the bull. Need that. He dives on in. Oh, no, I know what you mean. This guy, Daniel in school, he was reported to have had sex the first out of all of us. We're in seventh grade. That's so cool. Which is crazy.

It's so young. I know. And we, and I like, I looked at, Daniel different after that because it was just a rumor I couldn't I was busy what are you talking about couldn't have sex so too busy you were too busy yeah I was busy yeah I could have and there was a lot of like like opportunities of course but I was just like locked into the math and I was too busy being 12 yeah yeah me too when I was when I was premarital Daniel yeah I want to put my girlfriend's soul in a car

No, you don't. Yeah, I'd put her in a fucking, I'd put her like an 86, like Chevy. Why would you put her in a, something with a carburetor? I put her to Camaro. Oh, wow. Mm-hmm. What would you, how about you do this? You ask what her soul would like to be put into.

Nah. Yeah, no. She'd pick something, she'd be like, I want, like, the new Alantra. It's like that's not going to age well. They look cool, and I'm like, better to have something timeless. You want someone timeless. You need something that fucking, that barks. You know, I was just thinking.

I was like, it'd be so sad to put, your girlfriend's soul into a car because cars like break down and degrade and then I had this thought just now I was like well that's what we do yeah we break down and degrade but we also heal well I was going to say our beautiful girlfriends they don't ever break down and degrade they actually

stay beautiful forever and so I wouldn't be afraid to put her soul in a car because then the car would hold its value maybe forever and it would hold its sheen and shine and not mine mine there was this gasoline accident and she was on the ground and it spilled onto the ground and

And then this guy, this clown came and lit her on fire. That sucks. And now, and now I only look at her from like one angle. It's so fucking in the link. What would your genie wish be if you got a genie? The genie wish? Would you play the genie game? Let me see it.

Is it blue? Jeannie, I wish that you'd spread it with two fingers. Jeannie, let me see it. The genie is it blue? And he's like, that's not a wish. She can he show it to me? And I'm like, I know, I only get three and this isn't even one of them.

I would do something to make Aiden's life hilarious. Yeah. Like something that would just torture him endlessly, but like in a funny way. Yeah. There's a one in 10 chance he falls out of a plane he's flying in. I would use it to go into Aiden's house

and do the opening and glorious bastard scene where he'd be shooting through his floor. Yeah. And there's nothing there. And I I get no social repercussions and no police and no, I don't go to jail. So I want to unload an entire clip into his floor. But there's no one underneath the floor. No, he's not hiding any Jewish people.

I like going and being like, you're dumping Elo in this house, are you not? Mm-hmm. You're running in without utility, are you not? Can I speak in German for a moment? I would, yeah, I would do something. Just make his life really. The equivalent of tripping in brawl, I would give to him. Aiden.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Forever. Just something like that. Right. Like every time... Inconvenience. You always feel his tongue in his mouth. Like every time there's a one in thousand chance that he speaks, he, uh, he like

farts really loud, right? And it's like, it's small, but it's always there and he speaks a lot. And then it just happens sometimes. One day of the year, just inexplicably, he gets a mouthful of cum. Yeah. And he's like, hey, can I get a Whopper Jr.? Yeah. And he has to handle it.

He has a thing on his feet that day. And then he comes home to his girlfriend He's like happened again He's like, no It happened two months ago He's like, I know Okay, would you rather Would you rather

Every fart you're gonna have For the rest of your life Comes out right now So it's all one big one Dude But they don't ever get any more For the rest of your life Yeah, I want to hear the second

Okay So you have one And you're allowed to invite your friends You can do it like a birth Like you can get in the tub And they can all get around A wash That would be so long

I mean we're talking like that We would go to Vegas It would be hours, right? It would be. I don't know how long it would be. That's interesting math. Ask Chad GPT or GROC or whatever. And then, or every time, you can fart normally for the rest of your life,

but every time you go to fart, there's a 50-50 chance you can't. Well, one of them is just drastically different. One is like a lot of pleasure right now. And one of them is you get to have your small dopamine hits forever still, except sometimes you don't. I mean, flipping a coin all the time is kind of it built. into us. So I think it'd actually be more fun than you think. It's not

like, I would love that it's a 50-50 every time. How fun is that? I would love to get it out. I want to get all of them out. I mean, yeah. And they never have the urge again. Well, you hate farting. You hate farting. No, I don't. You guys hate farting. No, I hate when you fart. That's weird. Because I celebrate your farts and your farts. I farted in my mic yesterday and then I realized that it sticks on the mic. Sometimes it sticks on the mic. And then

I went to speak in the mic. That's why you got sick. and I and I fuck myself up you did that on stream yeah oh my god your stream's different is it where you were there yeah my bad on that way you fart on stream bro yeah I'm fart on stream several times

several times there's girls in there dude yeah like four of them there's like four girls in there I promise my chopped bloody nose with a tissue sticking out of my face ass that's not the part's not the problem that's why your nose bled

is because the smell of the fart like a fucking garlic loft dude that I might laugh for the rest of my life Imagine you fart and Aiden's nose started bleeding It's like a horror movie Oh my God, dude Ada's not here by the way

Oh yeah I don't know if you noticed He's not audio listeners He's not here He's in Japan with LS Which I think the age of consent's 14 Yeah yeah and they had like a son They wanted to you know

Doug was saying something about Really cool people Important to go there I saw like coming from a mile away My joke was going to be their investigating the age of consent, which is much more nefarious. Who knows what they'll do? It's an investigation.

Who knows what they'll do? They're the best people in the job. They're in L.S, and I hope they go to the blue bottle or Apongi, and otherwise, I don't care. All they feel, everything they do, I don't care, and I resent them for it. We need more white people in Japan. Like, brother, it is lame how everyone keeps going to Japan. True, bro.

It is lame. Go somewhere else. These people, they just get into Japan out of fucking, what, nowhere, thin air. And then it becomes their whole personality. Do you know, it's actually a sciop? It's a sciop for millennials and Gen X to enjoy Japan, or Gen Z to enjoy Japan. What, from who? From who is, who is executing the sci-op?

I would assume, I would assume, America. It's not the Department of Commerce in Tokyo. No, no, no. Why? What if it's like, because they don't have that power? What if it's like, trolley? like gummy worms like what if they're trying to get us

to eat more gummy foods what are you talking about what if it's what is it what is it what is it possible if it's like a like a shop from trolley he always likes to point all conspiracies back to candy

and sour candies what's the most addictive substance in the world see here he goes I know it was that candy I don't think so it's candy you you think you stupid idiot

I almost went so mean you fool you fool it's candy Befool. They had wars over opium. There's ever been the candy war. The candy war would go crazy. Oh my God. I would be a fucking, a knight's templar in the candy war. Me and me having to fucking, me in the sour army. We're trying to take down the chocolate. Having the fucking put the chocolate to fucking rats.

We'd be the swords only. All of all of the world. I would fight for sugar-based candies and powder-based candies. We would have a small but furious. You just know the candy corn like army would have guns. and they would just win. The mall army is like North Korea. The mall arm would not mean North Korea. That's such a dick thing to say. Who is the North Korea?

Who's North Korea and the candy army? Mall army would be like Wisconsin. Okay, Wisconsin is an army? Yes, it's a candy war. Nations are crumbling. All right, so every guy, so we have, every state has an army. It's not every state, but it's like Wisconsin gets one, I guess. Wisconsin gets one.

But then there's like the western coast and then there's like the desert southeast. What's the candy? of the West Coast. What do we like? Is it gum? I feel like we're gum. I don't think we're gum. The candy of the West Coast. It's got to be something like social. That's such an amazing question because everyone has a different answer.

Isn't that beautiful? Yeah, I don't think it's singular. It's probably like those fucking chocolate covered assai berries. Okay. Yeah, I think that's a good... Yeah, yeah, or a dark chocolate covered espresso beer. Yes. Yeah. It is something like that. Yeah. Something decadent.

and pretentious. And costs $14 a bag. Yes. So I'm not fighting for them. In fact, I will slaughter them by the thousands. You're fighting for the red army. You're in Russia right now.

What are you talking about? You're like anything red. No, I'm talking about, I would fight for a fun dip, pixie sticks, bottle caps, anything chalky. Stepping on gum in the candy war,

and you're like, it's that moment where you like look up and then you explode. You hear a click. You know that it's the Shockey gum. The shocky gum. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. It's the prank. Where did that one go? They got rid of that. Well, we just stopped going to Brick and Mortar stores. You could probably buy

10 of them on Amazon. I'm in Brick and Mortars all the time. I'm in preschools. I'm in elementary schools. I don't see them anywhere. That's not a store. No, but I'm there all the time. I'm telling you, I do not see them.

I'm there. I'm there. So you went to the store today. You went to an elementary school. Went to the store. Or went to the store. No, I'm going to buy. Yeah, we need to bring back.

you know what fell off is when you open up your delicious can of peanuts that they're salivating for because they're salty and they even say extra salty on the outside and guess what a bunch of fucking awesome snakes pop out that fell off crazy dude what the hell happened to that why did we get rid of the colorful snakes popping out of a canister that honestly if i could do if i get the last thing i see before i die like deathbed moment or maybe i was like shot dead in chicago the last thing I want to see is Aiden genuinely opening peanuts. Dude, and he's so, he's excited.

He's excited. He's had his headphones on. And he genuinely gets hit in the face by a snake and he's genuinely pissed because he really did, he didn't expect it and he wanted peanuts. And he would, he would overreact in a way that makes the office uncomfortable. Oh, I'd pay for it.

This is it. This is how it. And he has his headphones on and he takes it and he's like, dude, what the fuck? What the fuck, dude? I'm so tired of it. It's not a big deal, man. And he's talking to Calby.

Shut up! Lerick never remembers your name! Okay. I'm Nick Inley and I'm typing on the keyboard with two fists. He's using the DK Brongos. What? About that we were doing people in the office. You're doing in 2020 shit?

That's 2020? Yeah, that's 2020 shit, bro. Are you funny, Yinglingling? Go to Austin, Texas. So what you want to do? Make fun of the trans people next? Whoa! What are you talking about?

You guys are making fun of old shit, bro. You cannot equate us calling Yingling stupid with the trans struggle. I think it's the same. Okay. That's crazy. It's true. It might be it's true.

I think Yingling receives an adequate enough amount that it's equitable. That is, you know what? Keep talking. Yeah, let's keep doing it. Seriously. And it might be worse. And it might be worse. Yeah, the trans struggles a lot, but my homie yingling has it a bit worse.

You can't read. My home of my shikler can't read. Trans me with her read Why is it so funny Huh? Why is it so funny if it's old shit I don't know man That's on Deerian too

You're on some hack shit That's what it is It's not hack You know some hack shit bro You know what's hack Waiting for your Joe Rogan spot You know it's hack Calling everything pedophiles

That's out the door But you're addicted to it Huh You're addicted to it What's the last thing I call Wow today Like today Yeah no it's true

Yeah Yeah that's true Yeah You know I'm just telling you But here's the thing I know truth in that Colonel Truth. Colonel of truth.

In the candy war. I am Colonel of Truth. Who stops the candy war? And bottle caps are the best food. And I take my lance and I go, I'm Officer Dummedum. Of course you are. Who are you, man?

In the candy war? I'd be part of the... What do you fight for? What do you love? What do I fight for in the candy war? You would probably be a sniveling strategist, the fence sitter, cock sucker. or always living, always siding with the royalty.

Yeah. Disgusting. You'd be disgusting, man. Yeah, okay, so I guess that's me then. I'd die. I'd die atop of a giant pile of bodies that I led into battle. You'd be Lieutenant Toblerone. I think I think I would be, I'd fight for Mars.

Of course you would. I'd fight for fucking Mars, dude. Of course you'd fight for Mars. That's so disgusting. The Lottie Martin in the War of Candy. That's disgusting. And I would, and I would, my first order would be, Harvey denting your girlfriends.

The other side? Yeah. Two? Yeah. Please. Both sides. Please. I'd say Harvey at both sides. Fellows, before we storm the sweet factory, I've got two women I need to remove half their faces.

You gotta get these women. In murder faces. Dude, the sweet factory would be the fucking, it would be like going to the gun range of the store. What are you talking about? The sweet factory, it's like the big candy store. What is the sweet factory? It's like the big candy chain. Zipper Sweet Factory, me.

I don't know. I thought you were talking about a building. No, it's like this is where you'd go to get like a sweet ammunition. Or maybe it'd be like the U.N. Like it's where all candies come together. Oh, I didn't know. I've never heard of this. This is some L.A. shit. This is in every mall in California. I've never seen a sweet factory. But no, it's different now. It's sugar. That's what everyone goes to.

Sugar. Yeah, look up. It's sugar. Well, okay. In a real wartime. It's the place that has the little boxes, a little like clear boxes. It's sugar. I've never seen this. That's so modernized. This is like an airport.

and shit. This is the LA vibe. I'm from the OC vibe. Yeah, I mean, in a real wartime economy, we wouldn't be going to the mall to get arms, you know? What is that place in the war? If it's all this candy.

It's an armory. It'd be well fortified. I would hope so. But it'd be awkward, right? Because if I'm fighting for Team Sour, there's also chocolate in there, bro. And I'm going to have to run into the chocolate guys. You'd have, like, a sweet factory chocolate edition.

It'd have to be divided. War is not awkward. War is terrible, right? That place, if I see someone from your guys, it's from the Mars faction, for instance, I'm shooting you 900,000 times with a bow and arrow or something. Yeah. You are not leaving there alive. This isn't bumping into someone at the airport.

This is crazy shit. You get your head blown off with a 50 cow bullet, and it's just you have a tongue and a chin and nothing else. Yeah. Awkward. And I'm just holding a pack of Rolos. Awkward Dirtle. People were mad. We didn't do Rolos in the tier list.

Cut up. Why? Shut up. We did a two-and-half hour tier list. Get over it. Yeah, get over it. We did, we did like a thousand can. We didn't miss what.

I did an apple tier list and people were like, where's Red Delicious? That means, that's actually a good question. Give it yourself. Red Delicious sucks. Well, but you're supposed to put it on the tierless. It wasn't there at the store. It is what it is. You do Fuji?

Yeah, did Fuji. You agree? So, wait, Red Delicious, though, that's like the Mario of Apples. No, no, no, no. Yeah. Graney Smith. Macintosh. That's not the Mario of Apples.

What the fuck are you talking about, bro? They named the company after that. Okay, all I'm saying is You're the tier list guy I defer to your expertise Thank you This changes how I feel about that Changes how I feel about that

But I'm the guy Defer to me I'm right I'm right I'm right What was your favorite tier list You ever did Ludwig My favorite tier list

I didn't mind the chair one Would you say Chair tier list Of chairs? Yeah You I told you he's done a lot of tier lists Damn bro

The chair The chair tier list is pretty good Dude to be fucking ranking anything. Yeah. Of course. No, that was a good one. Yeah, but tearless is kind of dead, you know. Yeah, since we did it?

No, I mean. We ended it probably. General as a. Yeah, I don't think tearless are dead. I think that we've just gone through so many of them. I think they're corny. This was my third time doing Halloween candy. That's really interesting.

I didn't know that. Ludwig looks at the world through the lens of, is this dead or is this lit? Yeah, burnt methods. And it's a burnt method. I don't like that. I can't. You literally do.

I can't look at the world. You literally do. That's literally in a way how you look at the world. Explain it. Give me one example. Give me one example where I've ever done that ever.

We're talking about burnt methods. The pedophile comment you made earlier, you're saying that's a bird method. You opened the show by using it. I didn't open the show, but it was far, it was far earlier. It was like five minutes ago.

It was five minutes ago. It was five minutes ago. I said that. Yeah. so well done thank you well great all right

I guess we settled that that's good that was easy well tierless yeah I mean but does it feel exhausting always looking for the next

best thing no ideas are fun to come up with you don't come up with your list ideas though no like stream ideas okay

what's your next big one oh I got it it's a it's a one one of you one challenge well I already have a new series it's like the new bro v bro but it's like lockout pingo

it's what lock out bingo lock out bingo yeah so it's like you have a bingo board with 25 options and uh and like they have to be vague so it's like die in a game and then you can choose what game you do it and the first one to do it locks that spot what is this to race yes you're racing scavenger hunt and it's like who has the best video game lexicon to figure out how to do these different puzzles that is a good idea i got blow my nose back who did you who did you take this idea from and modify it. Petrachore. Petrachore, as we took it from. From our D&D show? Who's that? Is that a streamer? I think that is from D&D. Um, yeah, Petrocore's in our, in our, in our story. She's the goddess of the plants. You took it from the goddess of the, the forest? That's crazy. Is that what you actually mean?

He's blown his nose. He's blowing his nose. Ludwig's a little bit sick. Is it bleeding? Oh, no, he's got a bloody nose y'all. Well, I guess it's just a of us, man. No, he's back. If you're squeamish, by the way, if you're a child who can't look at a man with a bloody nose. The twigle warning.

A twigle warning. Quick swap. Dude. Quick swap stuff. You get bloody nose is a lot, bro. Maybe you're gonna die soon. I mean, if it's a horror movie or a disaster movie or any sort of movie, he's dead.

Yeah. So, it's been nice knowing you. Whoa. I think it's really messed up that the angels have rally monkey that they keep. I don't even know if he's on payroll. They have to pay the monkey. And he has to dance at the game. I don't like that. So I'm going to start a website to fundraise to free the rally monkey. We're going to free the monkey. Are you sure he's not getting paid?

Because I can be on board, but... No, of course I'm not sure. But I've already gone through and used Squarespace and made a website because they make it so easy. Sure. You don't even have to do research. You can just go to Squarespace.com and you can make any website for any reason. And they have great fundraising tools and a really easy website builder. And I did it so easily. It's save the rally monkey.com. So the wheels are already in motion and we have to save the monkey. Oh yeah, and there was zero research involved.

But I'm going to save the rally monkey. I'm going to free him from his prison. I'm ready. I am your sword and I am your shield to free this animal. And the thing is that it's such an easy, it's so easy to find the website. It's going to be such a problem for the angels because the SEO tools that Squarespace provides are so powerful. So they're going to have to reckon

with how powerful my website is going to be for them. So you type in Anaheim Angels into Google and it's free the rally monkey. The rally monkey is being tortured. It's probably just going to be over. If you look up Mike Trout, it's probably just going to be first. It's just going to be the Free the Rally Monkey. We also own freedommonkey.org.

That's a different site where you're working. In monkeyfreedom.gov, we have all three websites. So if you want to make a website like me and have infinite power, go to Squarespace.com slash yard and save 10% off your first purchase of your own website or domain and use code the yard. That's Squarespace.com slash yard and use code yard. Now, let me ask you, how much money have you raised? so far. No, I'm not a lick.

None? Just none. Well, guess what? I just put $10 into the coffers. We're going to free that monkey. Free that monkey.com. Go to the website. I'm sure it exists. And let's go back to the episode. It's real. And Archie even doesn't. You're going to make it. So Petricor inspired this idea? Yeah, Petrcourt did it. That's from D&D. Yeah. That's weird. And I copy PetchCore.

Okay. But no, my new one, Do I sound crazy You sound really normal You sound crazy Yeah I feel like I sound crazy You sound so like you always do So my new one is Cut in half

Okay One V ones So like I get a potato You get a potato Yeah There's a blind between us We each have one slice We gotta suck it all out

You got stuck all the juice out The poison You think there's poison and potato You think there's juice And you inject poison And juice There's definitely juice. There's definitely a juice already in the potato.

There's not juice in a potato. Have you heard of potato juice? There's some potato juice. There is, for sure. Squeeze a potato. It's like water. You can't. You're gonna watch juice. You can't squeeze a potato.

I can squeeze a potato. I can squeeze a potato. I can get the juice out. Do you know what happens when you squeeze potato? Yeah, juice comes out. No. You stupid bitch. No.

Oh, it does it. Oh, I guess it. Dude, there's so much. Have you ever touched a potato? Yes. Dude, potatoes are 80% water. I mean, fuck, potato juice.

Look up potato juice. Okay, look up potato juice. Look up potato juice. Look up potato juice. And then go images. And then put NSFW. Oh! You give me to be, boys, free my soul.

I want that potato juice. It looks gross. The Mars faction. Who's his one? You don't have to do this one. No, no, you do. Hit enter. Oh, wow.

NSFW. And it was. That was a baddie cartoon. But yeah, we just cut something at half, and we see who cut it half better. Oh, at the show. Yeah. What show?

Are you serious? Yeah. Wait, I thought you meant the yard. No, there is. Because Aidan's not here. I don't know. This exists. This is a competitive show where they,

two people cut things in half, and they're really fucking good at doing it really evenly. Great. So you've never seen that, and you had this idea? I saw short of someone doing it. Ah.

And here we are. He teak at all from the show? I don't know. What's the show? I don't know what it's called, but it's just like, it clearly is like, big event and there's like a commentator and like

oh okay well he doesn't care about your show I'm sorry it's not mine he doesn't think fuck your show dude so is it a visual thing or a wait thing because in the show it's weight they have to weigh the same wait wait wait for sure wait I think you could differentiate I think is a good

whoa they got little mall scales oh I kind of fucking sucks ass at this oh that's because it's asymmetrical is that bachoy yeah I think it's bok choy that sucks it's almost always You can tell it's European because they have a comma for the number. Disgusting people. Oh my god, this guy raw cuts.

See, this is a strat. You just put the knife raw fucking in, bro. I like that. A lot of people, they like take the knife and they measure the sides and they try to like get this mathematical cut. He's just jumping. Oh, I would eyeball this.

He's eyeballing crazy. Gamel. That way, this is looking good. This is a great concept. I'm so, I'm so entranced right now. Damn. That's perfect. It was German.

Yeah? Let's see it, bro. We like to fade the vegetables. Oh, that's not bad. Afterwards, we will put him in our butt. It's not bad. Dude, cutting in a half of you make it so much worse to put in your butt, even though it's less. Ew, yuck.

Dude, I tweeted a picture, this old picture of me DMing Aiden, where I borrowed his underwear. For some reason, for some reason I had his underwear at my house. And then I put them on. I borrowed it. And I pissed in them a little bit. Right. And I sent him a picture of, like, this blurry fucked up picture. Oh, yeah.

And I was like, hey, do you want your underwear back? They're just peas. And he's like, and this is like three years ago. And then he's like, uh, yeah, yeah, can you make sure you get those oil stains out? And I said, no need, it's piss. Basically, anything I do, I get a comment that's like 30, by the way. And that's the first time where I felt that when you posted your piss dribbled underwear.

I feel like you could only post that if you're 30. It was a throwback. Really? Yeah. It's way funnier. I feel like if like a 21-year-old posts a picture with P on the outline and their outline of their penis in boxers, it just a little makes me a little uncomfortable. What?

Why? If like a younger guy Lost me Post a picture Don't just a 21 year old to younger guy That is a younger guy Yeah but if you were dating a 21 year old girl A young guy leaves it open you know that

You lost me dude But that's why I think it's weird It's not weird It's just the same kind of humor Applied to a more energetic A energetic But I think it's It's a little more funny

The further you get into a Age bracket where you're not supposed to be doing single guy like shit it's funny so anyway I post this and it like it got like

which I don't you know that's just if you're posting on the internet happens but there's like a bunch of like people who love pee like started saying like this is yummy

and I was like you gave you something yummy what have I done so there's like this like you know this section of like so people are beating it to your gay pissed Twitter yeah yeah

And they're like gay pissed Twitter and like tagging each other and shit and being like so yummy. Big drop today. Yeah. And I'm like, oh my God, it's the Super Bowl. That's what I guess. I guess that's like I'm desired in that circle. That's awesome. Which is like, okay, sure.

I don't like it. I don't, you know. I mean, you fed them. What can you do the pants pissers and the diaper play people get along or are they at odds with one another? 100%. I feel like small communities like that, much like the left in fights. Yeah, true. There could be like a melee ultimate angle.

But if you're wearing a diaper, it's like it almost feels like you're preventing yourself from pissing your pants. Whereas if you piss your fucking pants, that's a, there's a stain, brother. Well, I... You pissed your pants. Yeah, that's a good point because diaper play people like putting the diaper on. It's a covert action. Yeah, it's like, I'm peeing and pooping, but nobody knows unless you can smell me. But a pissing your pants is saying it to everyone else, hey.

It's saying, oops. It's saying, oops. You know when girls say, I'm going to pee myself? Yeah. Yeah. That's real. they pee themselves sometimes they pee themselves sometimes

I thought it was like a euphemism I don't understand Like I'm laughing so hard I'm gonna piss myself Do I mean my girlfriend P laughing the other day It was one of the greatest feelings of all time

But they actually That's what I'm saying They actually pee They actually piss themselves They actually will do it Is that Well it's to work off predators It's like a skunk spray

Not the predators I've been attracted on Twitter bro Those guys So but you've experienced Uh, yeah, I've experienced this. Girls pee, man. They don't poop. But they pee like crazy. You made zipper two piss herself? Huh? You made zipper two piss herself? Yeah, she pissed herself. It was awesome. I little fit the funniest guy in the world. Yeah, that is unbelievable. I mean, what you say? Uh, I said, are you, are you actually peeing? And she was like, uh, do, are you actually peeve? And she was like that. Uh, do I don't remember. I had to ask her. I'm not sure. Don't even. It was a make her piss herself worthy. It was literally, it was any other day for me. I'm just like that. It was literally just me in the fucking kitchen. Just saying anything. Bad. Do you make cutie laugh?

Do I make her laugh? I feel like when you... You just thought about that so long. I don't know. I'd think about it. Your bits, to her, have arrived in this place where it's like, he's singing again. Yeah, I think she hates most things I say.

I don't think my girlfriend fucks than me. I don't know if she likes me. You should ask her. You should ask her if she thinks you're funny. They were just like... You were just like, go like, there's no way my girlfriend thinks I'm funny. Like, she just...

I'd always think that. She courtesy laughs. Yeah. Wait, what am I asking her? When's the last time I made you laugh? No, is it the last time or? Hello? Hello?

You're unwind about it. Yeah, you're on the yard. Whoa. Okay. Wow. Okay. We're crossing streams. It feels like.

So, look at that. Okay. We got somewhere on. Wait, oh, can Zoil be on the yard? Yeah, yeah, of course. Oh, my God, I'm on the yard. I loved your cosplay. Oh, thank you.

Oh, thank you. Yeah, Kuma. I want to be on the yard too. No, you're good. Stop talking. What? That's crazy. Apologize to Aiden and you can come on the yard.

You have to apologize to Aiden. What did you do to Aiden? What? What? Is Balkyray? Did she do something? Yeah, yeah. She kept bothering him during CS Go and he out and didn't frag.

Wait, why is it so? Oh, yeah. It's because you were bothering him when he was playing CS2 and he didn't frag out. What? Yeah, it's on you. But anyway, girlfriend, I'm just calling. I'm just calling. I was reading chat.

Also, Ada's coming on wine about it soon. He's doing a drunk presentation with us. Whoa! Worst episode of the year, coming. He's going to dress up. It's crazy he's going on wine about it because they didn't even go on the yard anymore, but... True. Oh, drama.

Okay, sorry. What? What are we talking about? I just wanted to ask you a simple question. Okay. When's the last time I made you laugh? Um... I told you.

I told you. No. I want to be honest. I don't know why there's murmuring. I'm just trying to think. I'm just trying to be... I told you. It happened so often.

It was probably this morning, probably. What do you say this morning? Hmm. Okay. So... Okay. So you want... I'm just laughing all the time

that I just can't name an exact. Do you think I'm funny? For sure. Of course, it's one of your top quality. For sure, buddy. For sure, pal. It's one of your top quality. I also did date you.

It's one of your top qualities. Also can think of no example. He's getting coached. From Ray and Zoyle here? Like, you're getting coached through this shit? What was last? Okay, let me flip this script. When was last time I made you laugh?

You remember that much? Yeah. Yeah, you made me chuckle all damn time. Okay, name it then, bitch. Uh, yesterday, when, you were streaming with Ray and Sina and you said I had a lot of Spanish guys in me. Oh, it wasn't when I said I could have cured COVID with my pussy. That one also made me laugh, but I wasn't thinking of that one.

You know, when you made me laugh is when we were at Halloween and you had the bread bowls and you said, you're sure you don't want the insides of the bread bowl? And I said, no. And you're like, where I come from, this is caviar. And I thought that was funny. Yeah. Well, you don't watch my stream enough then, slime. I could get you chuckling.

All right. well you know what this has been really helpful for me sorry let i laughed this morning for sure when i was walking out and i was like swift slept on the floor last night and you were like that's a weird guy and i went oh my god okay remember that yeah that is so fun make sure to go to the morgue at four hey cutie uh i had one more thing to tell her what was it chose me a cake oh yeah dude this guy played 11 hours of league last yesterday Like me Oh you get gold

And he had gold Wow offline She owes me a cake That's so funny That she made the bet Because let me tell you She has played Zero league

Maybe the first day And not since Yeah Also she loves making cakes It's like oh no Yeah The bet was Loser makes a cake

For the other person Yeah I figure I would just go Make the cake with her I think that's a more fair Wow So we got two gold gladiators.

Yeah, too, we call us in the Discord, you and everyone, we call them Golden Bulls. I'm in the Discord. Dude, Loaded popped in the other night. I know, I was there. It was awesome. I'm a thick golden bowl, and this is my associate. Hello. So what is a Platt guy? Dude, this fake rank.

Platinum purse. I've got platinum pus and I need a gold bowl. Dude, I need a gold bowl. I was just Ludwig and I was like, because I was thinking about it, I was like, I would watch this. I need him. I need him to do it. I said, go to mid, bro. Show us. I want to see you sore. Coots. And then he's like, I tried it. I tried it. And it didn't go well. And there's one game on his

profile of Gallio Mid Lane. You fucked up for not streaming it to us. I wanted to watch it. Dude, I'm like sick. QD's working because she's just working on top on stream rewards. And I'm just going through one game. And I just booted in raw. Who are you against in Lane? It was Ari. Yeah, yeah. The Mario. And that is hard. And the whole thing was a nightmare. Because I did, I honest to God thought Gallio just had a global alt No, it's like, it's not It gets bigger over time, it gets bigger over time

But, uh, it's pretty It's like maybe half the map No, no, no, it's not, you have to do it on A teammate. Yeah I thought you could just click Yeah, I see I thought it was like, you could just click where you want You got confused by the man

So I kept failing it and then I finally read it And I was like, this bitch sucks It doesn't suck, but I'm not good enough to use it yet. Okay, well, I can't wait until you play, what is it, 600 games and get good enough, and then show us. It's not even close to 600 for me. I don't know why you're disrespecting me. I'm not trying to disrespect. You know what, you're right.

And I want your goal achievement to sit alone, respected. We are not the same. What he's talking about? Top 50% goes to top 25. Half. I think. Cut out half the people you play with. I think you should prove me wrong.

I really. think you should. I will, but I'm... Because I think... Oh, wait, wait, I got... Uh, you're a bitch. You're a bitch. You're a bitch. You're a fucking bitch, and you're bad at... And you played an easy guy, and you play the tutorial character, and you get, and all this whatever. You got to prove me wrong. You have proven wrong. Here's the thing. I'm busy right now. Busy doing what?

Playing games of the year. Playing real games. Real games. Real games. Yeah. Fodian games? No, no, uh... Arc Raiders. I haven't played it yet, but I am going to play it. Oh, that sounds awesome. Dispatch? Oh, that sounds cool. Yeah, I almost played this game.

Cool story, dude. Play fucking League of Legends. I'm playing Dispatch right now. I gotta play Expedition 33. You gonna play that? Yes. Shit. I got a list of games.

Everyone says it's so awesome. Is it awesome? I haven't played it. What? Expedition 33. Can't tell you yet. None of us can describe it. But, league's a fake game.

What do you mean by fake? It's a time sake. It's a fake game. It's a... You do not get any more gamer cred for playing that game. So you're looking for creed? I don't understand. I actually think you really do get a lot of credit.

No. I think guy who played 11 hours yesterday. I think it's actually kind of hot. I actually think I'm awesome. And my girlfriend beat herself laughing yesterday. I had less games than him. We'll just put that out there. I want to fuck. It's like 15 less. Guy with 500 games versus 600 games.

It's 15 or something. It's 15. Yeah, dude. Yeah, you can't say less. You said it was more. Anyway, uh, what was I going to say? I think that a big reason I wanted to play league in the first place was because people would talk about it and I just had no idea

what the fuck they were talking about and you just can't be put in the conversation I feel like you understood what they were talking about by game like 100 and then you played 500 more that's what I'm saying so like I know what they're talking about I watched Worlds and I enjoyed it

but getting to Golden Mid would be like another probably like 30 games for me and you know what you're right it would be another 30 And God forbid. And God forbid, because that 30 games, you put it in time-wise, can allow me to play something that's, like, considered a masterpiece. You're actually the meme of like, yeah, man, you're pretty close.

You just need to work on your crosshair placement and map awareness and CSing and roaming. I, platinum, platinum, platinum, two-time platinum effect. Mr.T.R. all the time. But I will say this. I think you should do it but you're not going to because you're looking for some sort of cultural literacy

because it's now in the conversation which I find kind of dumb because you could have been doing this earlier but you weren't. We mean it's in the conversation everyone's talking about whether or not this game is game of the year or this game is game of the year and now you're like well I gotta play the games now it's like you could have done that earlier but you didn't

I'm shooting it because the Game Awards is coming up oh right okay so I don't know man the game awards is coming up and I want have my vote from the public be really well informed right and you can't play games off stream because it's a waste of time i understand yeah uh i played i got i got my gums done and i got i played font fancy 16 and so i could i could write an essay on that so if you ever play it i'll write an essay actually shouldn't play it it's got a lot of problems it's all i played simpsons fortnight

it was lit that's just fortnight right um it's fortnight but everything's the simpsons you're in the simpsons world right wait and you're in Springfield okay why don't you why don't you play that for game of the year what do you mean that you know it's still the hot top gaming content on YouTube don't you care no Minecraft is okay my craft is having a year right now yeah I saw you playing some dumb bullshit isn't it weird that like the Roblox Minecraft fortnight they're all like these games where you craft and build and they're so big is it what is is it about that wait what do you I don't think that's weird Roblox too right no Isn't that like originally what it was?

Maybe not, but not. I don't think that's what it is. Games where you create an environment where people can make trains. I don't really understand Roblox. Yeah, originally. I get the, like the, like the, what it's become. There's like a lot of community made games inside of it.

It's basically just like an engine of sorts to create other things. Yeah. But originally it wasn't exactly that, right? It was like its own standalone title. I don't know. I don't know the history of Roblox. Well, asked that one guy who was a DJ. We should get him on the pod.

There's Bun Dunn. Well, yeah, but we could ask Bund Dunn and that guy who made the George Floyd song. Oh, DJ Getta? Yeah. Yeah. David Getta?

That clip is so awesome. Yeah, he'll know. But yeah, look, eventually I'll go to mid. I'll go back to the league train. But, you know, that's forever. You don't have to do that. Would your off roll be? My what?

Would, like, your secondary role because you're going to get... Port, probably. Maybe something competitive, maybe ADC. Like me. Something competitive. Like something that you... don't get uh because if you do jungle you just get it filled a lot right right right right I would just support I want to get it like 15 10 10 50 you know I hit goal support

oh he didn't win his goal game either so yeah I haven't played the goal game whoa I'm put yeah just deranking for 11 hours today I'd have to lose like three in a row to go back because you get the protection stranger things have happened stranger things have had I cracked the elop potion I figured it out he says he figured it out I finally figured it out. What can you do? Look at my last, my last three days, 40% MVP. Wait, what did you think about gold guy? Gold guy? Gold man. Oh, the golden man? Yeah, this is his profile. Uh, I thought it was an interesting idea, but I don't think I'm interested in doing that right now. I've been rotting away and feeling really nice about it. It's because I got my gum surgery, right? So I had to sit

and do nothing. And I go through these cycles in my life where I just like something happens or I voluntarily choose it to sit and rot and just like play video games or something and it's really nice. It's just streaming but not streaming it. It's not streaming. Because streaming like I haven't I went the other day for eight hours

without speaking. You know what I mean? Like that's not streaming. Dude it makes me sad. I get depressed when I do that. Do what? When I just like like playing league has been not rewarding at all.

Not at all. There has been rewarding parts of it But I've spent more days than I have In a really long time since like early COVID Where I just sat in my room all day Didn't talk much Didn't do anything, didn't get any sunlight And I tried to make more of like a conscious effort

To like the other day I just went outside And just looked at the sun With my eyes closed Okay My eyes closed I was like this And it felt awesome I think that I get really energized

Like I'll come out of that day where I didn't do anything and I'm like I feel the most fucking funny and like active and like sharp

I know it's I think it's truly you need introvert shit R and R and R. Yeah man I know yeah but like I think my battery

my battery is so it needs so much time it's very detrimental to like a normal life you're a freaking snail I don't think we have to get hurtful that's not a bad thing I'm bearing my soul

and you're calling me names yeah snail what's wrong with snail do you do you think a snail is a noble animal you're gonna say yes but you don't mean it I do think a snail's a noble animal

yeah and he doesn't mean it top tier of animals that you step on no I would hate to step on a snail no it just has the most

of like a sound feeling it would feel like an egg I don't like I would hate to step on an egg I don't know but stepping on an egg would be so much better

than stepping on like a piece of gum yeah it would be like stepping on a crunchy leaf I don't know if it would no no no no no no you're fucking crazy you are crazy for that

what's the crunchy leaf of animals The crunchy leaf of animals Cockroach? Uh, no, I wouldn't, I don't, I don't think there's an animal I would love to step on. Yeah, I don't like stepping on bugs.

You told me, no, it's definitely not crunchy leaf, so you clearly have some opinion on the matter. Well, but crunchy leaf is a good thing. So I think there's a least bad animal to step on, but I don't think there's like a great, like, because a crunchy leaf you see and you're excited to step on it. No one gets harmed in a crunchy leaf situation.

Maybe like a dog. Yeah. I was saying, yeah, I see a dog, and I think, yummy, and then I go, No, because dogs would Yelp The thing about a snail It would go like

You're being a sociopath You're being cruel You wouldn't actually do it We were playing in the playground of ideas I feel like you did You sound yeah You brought this up You were stepping on snail

Yes that's like you brought it up Like you do do this I think you magnified glass On ants Oh we all tried that Yeah I didn't I felt really bad after I was like why I shouldn't do that

I didn't feel bad I felt fascinated Yeah and it hurts I was like ow Yeah, but when you do it on ants, ants, I feel like they're stepable. I don't care about it. They don't have lungs, bro. There's no joy stepping on an ant.

There's no joy. Now you're in my line of thinking. Because like an ant brings you no joy. There's no, there's no bones. No, but there's no, but I'm saying there's no animal that would be a bigger animal with more bones, or maybe a shell. You're just saying a snail again. Well, yeah.

You're just trying to get us over. Guys. Guy who hates snails, dude. Dude, you're fucking people eat snails That's better That's true That's true You kick them, you eat them

So okay, hold on You fuck their sisters You see spider What do you do? You girls like, you girls like There's a spider help What do you do? If she gives me the order to kill I kill

I kill I am a 50-50 Whether I catch and release Because I do have a little bug catcher At home And he has a magnifying glass Built into it And you can check out your bug after

We got a TikTok shop What the fuck you got? She bought it I don't know One day she's like look what I bought It's to catch bugs in our house And I was like cool And then we get a crazy bug

Every once in a while And I'm like look it up It's like a bug catching magnifying glass And every once in a while You get a crazy spider And you look at it And it's like under the microscope And it's sick

And then 50-50 chance If it's in like a really Yeah this is exactly the one Whoa It's good It's good You should have one of these in your house And then if it's in a

inconvenient place, like maybe it's on the ceiling, and I'm going to jump grab it. I'm going to jump grab it. It's dead. Like, it's going to... You jump smush. Yeah, it's not a towel. Don't say grab. Because it's a jump kill. Well, it's a grab that kills it. Oh, I see. I see.

I'm not like, because it's going to have splatter on the ceiling. I'm like paper towel, jump, grab, fall, perfect catch, trash can. I like the moment when you do the jump grab, where you're like, maybe I didn't use enough force to kill it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you're like, you're, you're just like, who knows?

I treat every animal with respect. But you don't look. That's not true. Jump stroke. The shit, and I get him off. And I say, have a go on, bro. The shit you say to Swift when Cudy's not looking. Oh my God. I lost it. I lost it at him the other day. What did you do? He, well, Cuddy wasn't home. I'm sick. I'm trying to sleep. I stayed up till 4 a.m. Watching Worlds. It's the next day. It's Sunday. This is yesterday. And, uh, and I feel, I just feel cruddy. I feel cruddy because I didn't sleep enough because I'm sick so I'm trying to get some Zs

and I sleep a bit but kitty leaves there's a good to work so Swift starts his fucking oh my god fucking dog you limp your phone out and he's not

and he's doing it upstairs downstairs he's doing it everywhere there's nowhere to hide from him and I'm trying to stop and I'm starting to stop and I was from behind I start petting him and he's doing it while I'm petting him you're petting the hair off his fucking head

and I'm like and I'm like Swift and then I start how I'm trying strats I'm out how old I'm going and he stops and then he joins me and I'm like oh god and he won't stop and then and then I just I'm like all right I'll take it I'll take it she gets home she sits on the couch with me first thing he does is jumps

on my fucking face to get to her like I'm a doormat yeah and and I and I literally I get up and I and I fucking and I just have my fist bawled and I go and I just go I got to take a bath you rage quit

I rage quit I couldn't handle it I love that and then later he came up and I fucking swung on him never told her he swung on his left jaws hanging loose right now

on Swift in the face that fucking dog man what the fuck's wrong with him he treats me like a damn dormant because he only has eyes for her and I get it she's breathtaking here's a question

do you think you love cutie more than Swift does no for the But for the cutie audio listeners, he said, yes. And he bought you a Birkenbag. I don't think, I don't think anyone could. I would love to claim that I could, but no one does.

Yeah. I guess it's kind of sweet, right? The animal is a vessel filled with only love for her. Yes. And nothing else. There's no, like, because like, when she's gone, you know, like, I'm sad, but like, I can play some league. Right.

He's never thought that. He's never thought like, oh, I could, like, play with my asshole. I could go walk in a circle somewhere. Could you train an animal to love you if you never fed it? Yeah, yeah, I mean, is someone else feeding them? Someone else is feeding them, and the dog knows who's feeding them. Yeah, I feed Swift almost every night. But the dog, but the dog doesn't love you.

Yeah, I know. Oh, that's my point. Yeah. That's what he's saying. Beautiful. I feed Swift, like, basically every night and he eats shit. No, you're the guy who brings the food for her. He knows, I give it.

He's, like, all excited when I go upstairs, he follows me. Yeah, I think it's, this is provable. It's cool that you can shake a bag and a dog knows it's about to get fed. But then, like, when you need a dog to fucking understand what you want, it doesn't do it. Like, you can't tell Swift to stop howling, but they're clearly smart. You know what we need to do to train dogs, much like Aden. We need to put the colorful prank snakes in their food. No, Swift would literally have PTSD for the rest of life.

Imagine you open, like, oh my god, Fido Chow. I love Fido Chow. I think you would actually make him be able to speak. Yeah, he'd be like, like, happy going to the fucking food. And then he'd be like, what the fuck? Like, meow? I hated that. I hated that.

I hated that. Stop playing with me. That's what it sounds like? Stop playing with me. Stop playing with me. Guys, my feed bag is empty. What? The bag that you guys talk about.

around my neck and fill with oats and such is empty. What about the carrot on the stick to help you run? That's also not there anymore. That's probably why he stopped running. Dude. I told you what you were on feedback duty, so. Yeah, well, the thing is, I ran out of feed. It's just too expensive to keep buying feed.

And honestly, the amount of time it takes to cook the feed. You're cooking the feed. I don't even taste it or like the feed. I know, I know. And I need another plan. We know why. It's been saving me a lot of time as I've just been using hungry root. Wait, you guys don't eat the feed?

Wait, hungry root. Hungry root. Yeah, exactly. That's something I've never heard of. Well, imagine having your whole week of meals already decided for you and personalized with different options. By who? Could I trust them?

You can trust them. It's hungry root. I trust them. What do they do? They provide to you pre-ported meals that you can cook at home. You guys are eating real food? Well, hold up. You shut. You shut your horse mouth. Yeah, we eat like high quality, nutritious food.

there's over 15,000 recipes that Hungary actually has. What we could do is we could eat these meals how long they take to make. How they'd make to take? Oh my God, you don't even understand

it's 15 minutes or less every single time. We make these meals for each other. We eat these meals whatever's left over and we put in the feed bag and then he can have

some of our hungry root and it's really nutritious for him and good. What do you think about this big guy? Beef tacos with rainbow slaw or salmon with broccoli

and spinach because I know you like spinach but I don't get rainbow slaws is what happens when Aiden throws up but I don't get the actual I get whatever's left over.

You yeah, you would get pieces of salmon with broccoli and spinach, your pesto baked salmon plus veggies. Why not make a hungry root and then pour it into my bag for me? Well, I'll tell you. Go to hungary root.com slash the yard and use code the yard slime.

That's why I can get 40% off your first box, plus get a free item in every box for life. You can get the free item. 40% off if you go to hunger root.com slash the yard, use code the yard, get 40% off your first box and a free item of your choice. So get your free item at hunger root.com

slash the yard. So what are you going to get better? You got some sort of insane virus? I mean, I'm better. It's just going to take it like this. Guy out of nosebleed, guy who keeps coughing. Guy looks like shit. It's the runoff stage.

It's the runoff week. So you think you can run a marathon right now? No, but I could do like a 5K faster than you for sure. Oh my God. Well, I can't run, so I look like a fucking piece of shit. Wait, why can you run? I don't know because I look like a piece of shit every time I fucking run. Oh, you can't run because I'm a fucking low cow.

Because I'm a fucking locale, and I run, and then the world... You run like a gold bowl. Made of actual metal. Made of actual metal indenting the road every time you step. You wield an interesting power, Ludwig, because sometimes you will come and talk to me and you will just be insanely supportive. And then other times, you will cut me with your words like a sword. Yes.

And I don't know... I never know what to make heads of tails of it. Well, I support you when you're pushing yourself, and I cut you when you don't. Excuse me I mean like Since you started This league journey The gym has not seen you

It's true It hasn't seen you once No I'd see me It has It's seen you walk by We literally We literally worked out together So you're lying

Hates to see you go Loves to watch you walk away It's because I got a nice ass Well the gym's the opposite Even though I'm 35 Hates to see you go Love to watch it You know the gym doesn't want to watch

You walk away What are you talking What are you piping up for You know where the gym is I guess. Do you know where it is? I'm pretty sure it's like next to the bathroom. I'm the whale on this podcast. I've slimmed down a lot. I'm down 10 pounds. I think I'm leaner than both you. How much you way? Like 185? No. You're getting there though. I'm saying I'm leaner. I don't know. Sure or whatever. I have a lower body fat. But you weigh more. Yeah, but like

Yeah. So does Thor Bjornson? I don't know. Sometimes you say you say things and they're supposed to be taken as inspiring. Uh-huh. And I get confused. used. Because it doesn't inspire you. You get cut? It doesn't know.

It's that your words are snake-like. Right. They slither around my thoughts, constrict them and then

release them and I don't know what to make of it. What do you want to hear? You run normal? You want me to lie? I don't know. You run normal

and awesome. I don't know what I want to hear. And I want to see it more. Because you run so awesome and normal. I think if you

come up to say, hey, bro, you really run normal. Yeah. I think that's a weird thing to say. I think I run weird.

Is that what you want me to do? So what am I supposed to do? What is a weird runner supposed to do? I think we should put you in like a mech suit that forces your body to run the way everyone else runs. I would love that because then I would know what it felt like. Yeah. Oh, they do that with golf swings.

Really? Yeah, like you'll, they have golf machines that will go through the exact motion Tiger Woods does. And it doesn't move until you do that motion with your body. That's so smart. But that with running. dude imagine like it's like simple putting his hand over your hand on the mouse yeah right when you're about to peak window they have they have tech that uh i've i've used

it before where they uh they camera watches you on a treadmill and then it like turns your body into like points on a like a stick figure and then it just tells you where your phone mathematically where it's wrong i don't trust that you could do it i can't trust a screen or a robot I need humanized to train me. Let's do a marathon. I don't know what that is. You just brought it up. I'm sort of...

You just like, you run a marathon right now. 26.2 miles. It's where they play all the Friday of the 13th movies in a row. Dude, I couldn't run a marathon. We could all do it. I could run a marathon. We could all do it. We're all capable.

But I'm old. Huh? He's at the same time. But I'm old. Look, there's a 55-year-old who just did the 240-year-old who just did the 240-mile moab. Yeah, but he's lit. Probably.

He ran it. So, I'm saying we could do this. Wait, 52 miles? No, I think it's 240. 240 miles? Yeah, I think so. Maybe it's kilometers. Like the M&M movie, but way fucking longer.

That's a plane ride. That's so crazy. It's a small plane ride. Yes. Yeah. And he did it. Okay, was he want head? I don't care.

I'm saying we do a marathon. I don't go to fuck about that guy who wants head. I'm going to fuck about him. Us three, you want to do it. I don't want to commit and say yes and then nothing happens So I'm gonna say no for now Because we do all this shit all the time

I'll set it up We do this and then it doesn't fucking exist Set what up the track? Yeah I'll set it I'll set the day and we do it He does love goals Ludwig without goals is just a

He's like a wraith He's just a you haunt He goes around and he's a ghost And he has nothing Diagreated gold for three months I didn't care about that And then quit instantly When he hit the goal

quit literally the second after getting the goal. I just, I don't understand it. Yeah. I don't understand stuff. What, goal-oriented? Yeah. You are. I don't think I am.

Yeah. I'm definitely very goal-oriented. You are for sure. You just, like, factually went through the most goal-oriented part of the year for you. Me? Yes. Yeah, you had a specific goal in mind, and then you went, and then you worked towards it. You grinded it for hundreds of hours.

But I didn't do it good. right okay okay the personal opinion about the matter it's more of like if I really wanted I guess the goal was if I really wanted the goal then I would do it your way I don't think that you yeah I guess I want to do my way

yeah which I was the same I specifically was like I don't want coaching I don't want I want to I want to find the answers within that was my thing true I felt like if I got someone else to tell me I could physically do it anyone could physically do it doesn't feel good doesn't feel good I'm in a meck that's the mech suit running that's what all the people on stream

always wanted like you got to do this you got to do it and you just want to pilot the me yeah to stop stop doing that i'm not your meck to pilot i am your fucking fat fucker to laugh at people giving you advice i think even don't even secretly they don't even want it themselves they want the stream it to continue man yeah no i felt it i felt it a lot about what it's just so it's like there's a poll to give advice yeah yeah yeah i've explained this to josh because josh pissed me off and then i was like even like one of my best friends can't stop himself

it's so hard from doing it and I get it it's so I get it so much it's really hard when you're watching a friend play league just in Discord and like jungler shows up on the map and they don't say anything or do anything and you're like you just have free mental sack and you don't like

yeah you're I mean you're projecting it's you just want to be in the game you are watching the game you want to see this man succeed I get it But, you know, it doesn't stop me from getting enraged. Sure. I think that's the fun of it for people, I guess. I don't know, man.

All I know is that my gums hurt. And we're going to run a marathon. And we're going to run a marathon. 2026. Here's the thing. What? I would do an equally sizable challenge if it was something that I think I could enjoy. I hate running.

Why don't you make the goal something, doing something you don't like? Uh, yeah, because I just don't, it's a really hard, and it's a lot of time. I don't think I would enjoy the process. And so it would be an exercise to do something I really don't want to do, which would be, I guess, fruitful in a way. That's it. But, like, I'd rather do something that, like, I can't do that would be hard to do that I would enjoy more. He'd rather eat candy. Like, for example, what if we had to eat all the sour candy in the world?

Like, if someone was like, I challenge you to climb V10, I'd be like, that would be really fucking hard. but I enjoy training for it. Right. I wouldn't enjoy running. Yeah. Yeah, you could just eat candy instead. Yeah, I mean, running sucks. This is different.

What I'm saying is obviously different. I hear you, but that's why you do it. Because of that reason. Yes. In spite of it. In spite of not enjoying something, you still do it. You push yourself. Yeah, that's kind of beast.

To be like, I hate this thing so fucking much and I did it for, you know, 500 hours. Like, I don't like cold plunge guys. When a cold punch guy hits his thousandth day, I'm like, all right, it's a beast. Sure. Because it sucks every time. It's not like it gets easy to cold plunge. And they did a thousand days.

Surely it's easier. Surely it gets a little easier. I think you can take it better, but no, I think the initial dip always sucks. I mean, I did it in a much small. I did it like 30 days. You did 30 days every day cold plunging? Wait, where did you do it? I had a cold plunge.

You had a cold one at his house, remember? I don't remember. I had a cold plunge, I did it for like a month And it's and for me, never got to, as there was never a day I went in, I was like, fuck, yeah, you notice a difference in your life? No, not a single bit, not a single difference at all That's cool I love that, see, this is good data

So if you're at home, for some reason, listen to the yard podcast, me like, I should do cold plunge. I'm gonna do a hot plunge, wake up getting to fucking jacuzzi every morning And be like, this is way litter Why is no one doing this? Dude, dude, I did a hot plunge today, I'm so wiped. a warm plunge. I didn't want to go all the way. So I just got in a bath. So yeah, you didn't feel shit?

No, I don't feel shit. It doesn't change how I've, but there's a, like, a mental shift, I think, to, like, just do shit you don't want to do. Yeah, that's tough as fuck. That, that part is good. That part, I think, you do feel, you know, because, like, the cold plunge is an allegory. Yeah, one time, the wisest thing Sunsay ever said to me, a guy we know named Sunsay, not not like a Sunseh, was, he was talking about how he makes his bed every morning. And I'm like,

that's crazy. You make your bed every morning? He's like, yeah. I'm like, I hate making the bed. He's like, I also hate making the bed.

Like, why do you do it? He's like, because I hate making the bed. But if I wake up and do something I really don't want to do as the first thing I do, then the rest of my day,

I can do anything I don't want to do. Because I got, I did it. And I'm like, oh, it's fine. It actually wasn't that bad. Yeah. Whoa.

That's awesome. Uh, Well, love. Or is that working into your little fucking algorithm? Love? Yeah. Love should be limitless.

But discipline's everything. Unbound shackled. Like Swift's. Well, I think if you have discipline, you can love harder. You can love better. You can love people when you don't want to love them.

Yes. You can love them when it's hard to love them. Yes. Yes. You get it. I get it, bro. I'm enlightened. Without discipline,

you can only love when it loves easy. Oh. It loves not always easy. Oh my God. This is all about Swift. This whole concept. And I love him And sometimes I really don't want to love him

Sometimes I hit him on the head with my fist But you have discipline Sometimes I crack his jaw Sometimes you throw him against the wall It's hard Sometimes I step on him like a snail Sometimes I spin him like Bowser Oh dude

He would go so far Oh my god If I miss my throws Over a mountain The Long Gay Swift Ah, Marathon So we're gonna do a marathon When's the LA Marathon

May That's so soon So that's easy. We could do that. Six months is more than a time. I barely clear a mile right now. Yeah, yeah, but I'm saying six months and more enough time. Really?

For Joe Schmole? You just do a mile. Yeah. Curse J.D. just did a marathon. He did 12. No, he didn't. Yes, he did.

Really? Do it? He, like, didn't he lose, like, fucking 80 pounds? Yeah, but you don't need to lose 80 pounds. You're already... I just mean, like, he clearly was... I'm saying you are below, right, in terms of body fat percentage where he went. So, like, you're saying, didn't he do this?

You're already better than him health. was. He just was in a bad spot and got healthy. You're already healthier. He's not going to run. The last thing he'd go and do is run. That's true. The last thing he's going to do is something he don't want to do. He knows what he's done. But I'm just saying, Kurt, look of Curry JD Marathon.

I think he, I think his pace is very achievable. He's like a 1234 pace. What, 12 hours? Per mile, it took like 12, 30, 12 minutes in 30 plus seconds. 12 hours a mile. Okay, that's doable. Which is like, it's like

It's like a jog. Four and a half miles an hour. It's good jogging. How long is the whole thing? How many miles is it? 26. So I think it took him like five hours and. And you walk for some portion probably.

If you want to, yeah, if you need to. I couldn't jog for five hours. There's no way I can jog for five hours. You do like think, think like grandpa pays. Like. Yeah.

I just don't even think I can do anything for five hours on interrupted. I think I get bored of jogging. It's so insane because you played twice that yesterday. But there's, In a row. And now you're like five hours are the same thing. The equivalent here is being in one game for five hours.

I can do it. It's not one game for five hours. No, I'm saying that like the walking is between Q. Yeah, but when you run, that's how you run you divide your run and you segment it mentally. So it's like, you know,

maybe each mile is a segment. And so that's your game. And now you have the next game. Or it could be each water station. Or it could be whatever, but like you'll segment it. it's like here you need to look at running like it's breathing dude you need to fucking look at running like it's fucking playing with your little bit

if you want to play with your little bitch more than you want to breathe then you're gonna come can I go can I show you guys my gums yeah are they fucked up will you will you be respectful I think that he went in he got part of his gums put on his heart take the gum from my sack and put it in my mouth he said I needed a gum graft onto my heart because of the way I treat Kelby

That's true But it's not true The doctor looked in and said Hey we actually noticed That your heart needs work That's true because Kelby You guys were pestering him saying Who would be the top three people

You want to watch league with And you were like You were sitting there like I'm top three I thought it was top three Hard top three And then you were in top three And you're like

I'm not top three It was crazy You're mad I did get mad As if like he can't form his own list Show me your fucked up gums man Well he put Christian on the top Which I thought was very cute

Yeah All right you ready Don't make that Okay You have to make your face That doesn't make me feel bad Look at me first then I got you

I can't see Oh It's like it's not that bad But I mean yummy What was that? It was honestly just came out I forgot what he asked for It looks like

How a dog's gums look Will you get close to me You ever see a dog's gums how they're like weirdly like purple Wait I got a good idea I got you No I was gonna say yeah Pop that shit

Oh yeah No that looks so bad That looks so hot It looks hot I like it right Wait so what was the surgery for again I've receding gums It looks good honestly

Where do they get the gums from Top of my mouth You never listen They got it from my nuts They didn't take it from my nuts Dude nut skin on your gums Would they be so funny. If they were, if they were like, hey, it's a procedure that's completely

painless, it's like, it's like, you know, it's like dead skin, uh, but they offered you to get it from your nuts or the roof of your mouth. Oh my nuts. Would you take your nuts? Instantly. Would you take Ludwig's nuts? Instantly. I'll donate my nuts for his. I'll donate my nuts for him. Do we slime wakes up from surgery. He's like, what happened? It's like you survived. It's like with the help of a donation. You go over it's the three of us. We're all in hospital beds with Big bandages on our dicks. And every day, every day

you swallow something, you're swallowing a bit of my nut. Uh-huh. Well, that's not your nuts. It's not your fucking cum, but it's your nuts. It's your ball sack skin. It's your salty nut sex skin. I'm getting perennial head. I think that'd be really funny, yes.

I think getting my own ball sack. You know what I wouldn't do, though, is butthole. I wouldn't take anyone's butt hole. I felt it. I was, I went there. We should do a nut graft. Are you an empath? I empathed it.

I felt the butt being scraped. Why don't we do a nut graft? Oh, what do you mean? Just go to a doctor, like a plastic surgeon, and say, we want to share each other's nuts. A little piece. Like a tattoo.

Like Frankenstein. Like a tattoo. It looks like fucking ugy-buggy. I want it to look like Jacob alorty. Put a bit of his nuts on mine. Wait, my right half's purple. Who was purple? Dude, yeah, it looks like a patched-up coat. Yes, I wanted to look like Sally from a nightmare before Christmas.

Chuckie's face. I would do that with you guys. I would get, the four of us, it's like an unbreakable, awesome nuts. Where do you put on me? Let's go to Turkey. Well, I would put, well, here's the thing. So I have this problem with my balls that you guys probably know, because you've seen my balls a lot, where it's, I have so much skin.

Yep. You'd be a great donor. Like what a fat guy loses a hundred pounds. It does look like that. It's crazy. It's just so much. Well, they're still growing. And I don't know.

But they're not. They stopped growing. They're the size of grapes. And the colors off. The color's fine. Don't be cruel. The color is so normal. Don't make me show you my balls right now.

It's like a pastel. It's like an Easter color. You got a church-like color. It's like the stock gradients and photos. shop. I, my balls look fine, but there's too much skin and I need something to do with it. Right. So donate. Donate

to me because I want to, I want to, I'd put it over my perennium. Dude, it's like donating hair? Yes. I've saved up nuts. Wow. Maybe that's where all my genetics went. It went to building insane strength fast and efficiently, no hair and having insane nuts egg skin.

I'm just saying once you run a marathon, you're going to get more tea and then your nuts are going to fill out. Yeah, man. Man, I don't think I want to commit to a marathon. I'm just going to say no to you. And then if I say yes later, I'd all be awesome. There's no yes later's in life. It's a no.

All right. Ziprasing you a picture. You failed the marathon. You got fucking bone spurs or some shit. I got shin splints, but I'm back. And you're going to get them again. Oh, that would suck so bad. Because your bones suck.

You're always having bone problems. To, like, come out. So sorry, we came up with an atheist brand of clothing. I wanted to show you. This shit's tough. This is atheist world-wise. You would make this. in-between league games.

Yeah, in between league games, we pop into Photoshop and we're developing the first atheist streetwear brand. I want to know what you thought. So that's the Vitruvian man atheist world-wise

and the front says it's just facts. Yeah, Ricky Jervais is gonna love it. Dude, that was also another shirt we had. Yeah, it had a Carl Sagan shirt. We had a Ricky Dervase shirt

and we had a Retruvian man's shirt. Maybe if this was sold at his comedy stand-up tour, it would sell out. Oh, my God, bro. That's a good first collab. You've crushed the Ricky Jervais merch line. Yeah, the first shirt also said,

I'm just correct. The Jeff Dunham is not an atheist. He's a God-fearing Christian. Now make the Jeff Dunham rush line. How could you trade in atheism behavior? You don't believe in God. For sure, he's, well, actually, no, he's definitely god-fearing. It's false idolatry, but sometimes for generational entertainers,

we make a little wiggle room. The way he treated Ahmed, he's definitely Christian. I'll tell you that much. That's true. Yeah, Ahmed believes in something, unlike you guys. Peanut. Peanut. Peanut's an atheist. Peanut. I don't remember peanut.

No, peanut's an ape and they don't have God. That's what I'm trying to tell you. But he is without God. He's not an atheist. He's agnostic? Well, no, that is that. That is atheist. Okay. Isn't that what atheists mean? God's real, right?

So, when you're an atheist, you're wrong. You're wrong. You're a Christian worldwide. Your spirit within. And it's owned by the same fucking terror company. We make them fucking infight. We sell the merch to both sides. We tell them that way, yeah, and we'd be like,

we'd like have fake beefs and shit. And then you'd be like, this one came first. Christian Worldwide came first. And Atheist World Wise is doing a competition for the best T-shirt, so you guys can submit in Discord. Oh, that'd be sick, yeah, yeah. Yeah, and what about Christian Worldwide? Christian Worldwide?

Oh, I'll be heading that. It should be Atheist World Wise and Christian Worldwide. No, because then they would make fat jokes about us. Oh, true. Worldwide does not lead to fat jokes. trust me I make a lot of fat jokes I got this one

I guess it's true you yeah so if you're in the discord please send me your put the designs in the chat pick aside you're either with the you're either with the Christians within or the atheist worldwide

go into the Ludwig server yeah the Luddwigs zone for all of them oh you get that one it's just the unused channel I'm one of the Christians worldwide for sure you guys are definitely on the atheist train No, I'm the Christian side. Whoever designed the Aden Christ shirt should be on the atheist side.

Me. Because he's going to hell for that. Of course he is. Pulling up to hell. What? Me and Pergator has a shirt on? What? Nick made this.

Satan, what the fuck? He's like, yeah, man, you made that fucking really blasphemous shirt, dude, and you played like a lot of league and said some crazy shit while you were playing. What the What the fuck you saw that? Fucker Fucker Fuck, dude

No Just crying That damn co-workers in my game Yeah you hate to be in co-work We're finally out of coworker you love I'm in co-worker queue You are not out of co-worker queue I'm out of coworker you are not out of

I'm finally into the game I finally got to the rest of the game Yeah you finally got the rest of the game I do love that I do love that. The grass is greener theory. It's not true. You know, I found this out?

I did a, I did a, like a Red Bull shoot with, what was it? It was like a pro-valoran player. Xexis. Zexis? Yes. Zelsus. No.

Zelsus? Fuck, who was it? Zexis isn't a human. Look up Valerant's C-9 roster. I think it's Zelsis, man. No, it was Zelsis on Sentils. Zappa. Spin Zappa. I think it was Zappa. Spin Zepa. Spin.

I think it was Zepa. Yeah. So I did, I did... I got there, yay. I did... Sexist. Yeah, I think sexist. Zephyst is real. Kingdom Hearts character.

Yeah. But I did a stream with Zexis. And it was playing in his, like, on his smurf account to see how well I do. It was like an immortal... Oh, yeah. A mortal fucking one, but radiant lobby. Dude, they were horrible.

Like the people. people in the server were horrible. Oh, to you. Like, they're mean to you. They're, not to me. No, just they were evil people. They were just evil people. They ripped the F slur. We had to mute it because it was like this Red Bull shirt. Whoa. They just started rip it. Because as the player base gets smaller and smaller and smaller, it becomes like a private discord server. It's like all the same people. They all know each other. It's our secret safe for me. I mean, but in silver, it's the same. No. It's a massive amount of people. No. But I'm saying you will run into that. also I think the higher you go the more the people the people are distilled in the smaller groups

and the people that are going to sit and get good at a game like that over like for that many hours are going to be a little insane and I guess what I mean is like I you know I was like a land beyond where it's people who all understand how the characters work and want to work together to achieve a combined goal and what actually happens is you just get higher in rank and they just are more individually skilled but everyone is equally selfish I think it's a bell curve. I think there is a sweet spot where you're in like early immortal where people are like, I really want to get there and they're like, I gotta talk

to these people, I gotta make them my friends. I don't want any inters. And then you learn that it actually has almost nothing to do with that and you just have to carry all your games and then you finally get there and you become evil again. I think the only thing that goes away is smurfing. Yeah, kind of yeah. Yeah. Because it inherently has to. Yeah, yeah. That's the only thing that is saved.

And I think every other evil aspect that you have of Solo Q exist throughout all levels? That's fine. I think that's actually more, that's a more comforting idea than the golden land. But, you know, it was nice to believe there was a golden land. There was a, there's an easy field.

You love believing in the golden land. I think the big difference between higher Elo and lower Elo, that's less frustrating is like, people can make plays that throw, but good players just have ideas. Like they had an idea and they had an intention. It was just the wrong idea,

whereas bad players don't have an idea. They just kind of autopilot. it and die. And that's more frustrating. Like when you're in league, like when your top laners just going to lane and inting and dying over and over, they don't have an idea. They just don't know how the game works. But in high, you lo, it's like the same result. But it doesn't make me as mad because I'm like, I like when people have ideas. And that's the golden land. And even though it can be insane with inters and freaks and people who suck and are selfish, at least they, even if they're

like, at least they're choosing to make the wrong decision, not the fact that they don't know that they're making the wrong decision. That's the frustrating part. I see. So it's their evil intent. But you'll almost rather it be their ignorance, no? No, because ignorance can't be solved instantly. You can reason with an evil man. I think you can reason with an evil man, but you can't teach a stupid man how to play. I think you can empathize with an ignorant man, but you cannot with an evil man. And when do we teach you about a fish? I don't care about empathizing with an evil man. If you attempt to reason, if you attempt to reason, you attempt to Empathized, though. It's a part of it.

Not the way I do it. Not the way I do it differently. Faxilogic. I use Faxilogic, world-wise. Faxilogic. By my marriage. Yeah, it's like a shirt where it's like this graphic on the front. But on the tongue, it's a tab of acid, and it says the truth.

Yo. Oh. And it's stars. And it's stars. And planets. And cosmic rays. And the Fibonacci. And the red shift.

Acid blotters with a Fibonacci sequence on it? People have made those, they have to. Yeah, of course. And they listen to a tool and just go to fucking go to space. Damn, drugs are so gay. Yeah. I want to do some. I think I'm ready.

Post-League. For drugs? Yeah. Yeah, I'm out. You gotta do something, man. You can't be out if I'm in. I'm out on drugs, bro. If I'm in, if I was like a little bit, I'm down.

What drug? What drug? What drug? Shrooms. Mm. You guys should, you guys should do Molly? Acid. Um, spice

Unplanned at any point If you want to do opium I will smoke opium with you Oh my God, dude, you're so cringe It's the Chinese drug Cool That's why he wants to do it Fucker

Right? Do we do it in America? Yeah Okay I believe it's not about that for him Of course it is No, it's because they had a war over it See?

I want the drug they had a war over He said this before. It makes no sense. There's never been a weed war. I hope there's no war overhead, man. You'll see me on the front lines. I think they did have war against it. On it for head? They had a war overhead, yeah.

Who was it? King Henry the 8th, wanted to divorce his wife. Divorce was illegal. Didn't he have like eight wives? No, no. He had one wife. He wanted to divorce his wife because he wanted head from another woman. And so he split the country of England from the Catholic Church to Protestant.

Did it work? So he could get some head. Did he get it? Because he asked the Pope. He said, Can I divorce my wife? I want a head from this baddie. Yeah.

And he said, the Pope said, no, no, no. And then he said, we're leaving. And then they went to war. I think this isn't true because if you're the king, you can just get the head quietly somewhere. He really wanted the divorce.

Go to your head quarters. So it wasn't about the head. It was about being able to get the head in not in secret. He wanted to get the head on his throat. He wanted to be like this. He wanted to be like this instead of being all shot.

That's greedy. I'll say it. Oh, the king was greedy. The king was greedy. The king was greedy. The king was greedy. Yes. A fork found in kitchen.

I'm just saying it's like you have everything and you want a little head. Go get it. But don't freak out if you can't be on TV while it's happening. Yeah, they wrote about this. It's in paradise lost. They discussed this in depth. Yeah, yeah. The disease of more.

No, the disease of wanting head, actually, specifically. Right. Head is just, when you talk about it for the gentleman who cannot, utilize head like me I feel once again I'm in a glass case and I'm just looking at the world

through the pain you will I can't get the head disease there he is my booster shot dude imagine that guy's dick in your mouth I did I just did

I couldn't control it salty huh yeah dude he's got that shit on that is such a dope and crazy outfit you can just be painted to be wearing whatever yeah yeah it doesn't matter what you're actually wearing

actually it does because the painter can't they were bad back then and they can't just conjure something from memory the people actually just look like this or were painters just making people look like this people just look like that that's i don't think that's true how come dudes don't look like that no more because they're not as inbred yeah is that it i mean the king's lines were yeah they always kept the royal blood he was very inbred man i'm inbred or something Same, and it's not fun to joke about. You actually are. Actually suffer. You actually are, rough. Yes.

Inbred Lives Matter. Dude, please. I guess so. That's a T-shirt. Dude, bread lives matter. Do you imagine you made a shirtline, like, next mogul drop? And it just says, like, big college font, inbred. And then you have SpongeBob doing a money spread. You have SpongeBob putting a bunch of fucking, I don't even know what the money is.

It's gangster SpongeBob. He's holding the... Yeah, it's a sponge bob's dick in Patrick's mouth. And then on the bag, it says, it says, uh, uh, I fuck my brother. I fuck my brother, Dick Seven. Yeah. Patrick's doing this one on head. That was such a, that was such a shoddy magazine cut out ransom note.

And I still think it's funny. It's already on Red Bubble. Do you just make a t-shirt, man? Making a t-shirt is like one of the coolest things you can do with your time. Cudy has made like thousands and thousands and thousands of dollars from the Aden C-shirt. Yeah, awesome bullshit. I see that one a lot.

It's all, it's, yeah. And she's editing that shit on, like, paint. Yeah. You know why, too? Because it's affordable. You know? That's why everyone copped that one. Yeah.

What was it, like, 20 bucks? Yeah, she got like that red bubble pressing. Yeah, we got our jerk off fucking awesome blanks that suck. This is a vintage blank. It comes from, actually, Paslan, Paul, second, everyone. Hey, but he has so much skin. Newt was able to put you in. We treated it like mochi.

And after we use that pooder, the powder. Poozer. Dude, dusting my nuts like mochi for her. Well, that's our time, everybody. Yeah, that's what we're ending on. Jesus, that's gross. I hope you enjoyed this Aidenless episode. You know, my gums hurt.

What can you do about it? If you want an Aiden full episode, I guess you could go watch that other shit. Yeah, watch Lemon Ait stand where they're interviewing a billionaire and asking him how he got his shit so big. Or if you want Aiden Full, or another more Aden List episode, you can watch the Patreon episode after this. Yeah, he's gone, he's gone for the week, and we are docking his pay.

It's already up, and we're docking his pay. And I'm going to show my tummy in it. Goodbye.