The Yard - Ep. 227 - We got into trouble...

Episode Date: November 26, 2025

This week, the boys talk about last weeks episode being taken down, the amish community, and how Ludwig is now doing a new challenge... Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Well, everyone, good morning, Krohn, now. Well, Abner, I'm excited to see you. Yes, Vernon. I'm excited to see you. I'm so sorry, I couldn't shave. I wouldn't you I wouldn't even know how Why would you shave your unmentionables

Yes the unmentionables And we will not be saying anything of the sort In the next hour and a half We got in trouble We got in trouble From being crass YouTube took us down We got finally cancelled by woke

And so we've decided to dial things back That That's the swear buckets Is the crass jar If you say something crass You put something in the crass jar and you know what you put in? What's that?

Clothes. Oh. Strip. That's bad. Would they become less? He's only wearing one item. You both are. Wait, this is.

Your dress is one piece. We're two infractions away. And much like living the life of an Amish woman, life is harder for you. Oh, my God. You have a higher expectation. I just, I never thought I'd have to live this path. I feel like I don't look Amish. No, we're saying, we said you're on rumspring.

Yeah, I'm going back from the boardwalk. You are a bartender from Salt Lake City. I'm like this. I'm like, what's like, guys? I like how to dance. This is dangerously close to a fraction. No, this isn't crass. Vernon, please, that is crass.

When you're in the Lord's house. Sorry, let me tuck it in. Don't touch it. We tuck it in. It's like onions. I don't like it. It's still sticking out of it. you know what I think happened

I think people reported the video yeah I think that's how it works which is crazy because it's like can I just fuck my dog we can't Epic nail Abignale Take it off at once How dare you come receive your lashings

Put it in my lap That's another one That's crass That's how we put it in each other No, we have... That's how I punish my beautiful, awesome daughter-wife. Jedediah. Jedediah.

I think it's Abner. Jedediah, Abner. It's Abner. We have Abner. We have Vernon. We have... Abing-nail. Abing-nail?

Abing-nail. I'm still Ludwig. Still Ludwig. I'm still Ludwig. Well, fine, I'll take up my shoes. Okay. Throw them in, then. Throw them in the shoes then.

That's not crass. How is it crass? Abner. Should I teach you everything? Isn't my job to teach you everything. Sorry, mother. And you're my wife. Well, that's your sister wife.

I'm your wife. That's your mother. You guys were being really mean out there because you said he looks like a beautiful Amish woman. You said I look like the big bad wolf dress. Yeah, if you're disguising as... You do look like that.

Yeah. Okay, why are you like getting haughty about it? Well, because I look hot. I looked in the mirror and I was like, I look hot. Yeah, he's like... I look hot too. I look hot. No, you look like Cam Newton

You're You know how it's like Look up Cam Newton Cam Newton Yeah look up Cam Newton The Panthers quarterback Look of Cam Newton crazy outfit You look like Andre 3,000

You're about to tell Drake May he sucks Yeah look That's you bro Camden dresses like that Yes every fuck Dude he's dressing He's a great quarterback What?

It's is just cursing, breaking the rule? Of course it is. In God's house? Hey, take the nunu's off. No, not the new news. Take the new news off. The boy comes.

Yeah, it has to go reverse. You can't call him that. The brain has come to Garsohn. Does that not count? Does that not count? I can't tell him to sit on my lap for punishment. Is there an invulnerable period? I do feel like to speak in French.

Speaking French is inherently an infraction. It's already. Well, clothes will stack. up on it. And if you're, if you're an audio listener, you're probably wondering. Oh, you're wondering what's happening. You should come in and see what we look like. That's it. You should just go, knock on the door. If the episode hasn't

been removed, take a swim. If woke didn't take it down again. If woke didn't remove the episode. For a peanut butter related story. Is it back with PB? Yeah, it's just bad. It's just they turned it back on. Oh, they did. They did. Yeah. And it's green. And it's monetized. It's cool that tweeting at YouTube works.

Yeah. They got to get their act. together sometimes though. I almost said a swear. I think... They're crud. Whoa! Crud is not crass. Vernon, please.

I'm sorry, I learned it on the... I erase him. He goes to Rumspringer. He makes whoopee with all his prostitutes. You're making whoopee with prostitutes? They taught me this. That's kind of cool. He flashes his unshaved, unshaved pubis.

His pew is unmentionedable. The women, the women They love pubis, I thought we learned that. Abner, are they, is it? Yes, yes, yes, yes. They love a big red pubis. They love the Chinese flag. A red bush.

No, no, no, that's a swear. You can't mention the Chinese. The Chinese. I'm like Amish LP. Are the Amish into geopolitics? Probably not, right? I don't think they think local. Uh, shit.

Shit. Three? Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. What should I take off? Give me thine socks. Thine socks. I want to see the pigs grow. Let's see the piggy's oink.

I do think that they don't think the earth is round. That's not true. You guys are, it was crazy. I was in there making jokes. I was making jokes about the Amish before we were getting all dressed up for the prom of the show. And they were like, you can't say that. I'm like, what are we doing? It's best to defend the defenseless.

They're so squeaming. I would rather you make fun of Jimmy Fallon's alcohol addiction showing up to every episode, hammered. I was just like a hated scumbag that no one liked. Jimmy Fallon showing up to the recording like the Kool-Aid man in his car. You make fun of the Amish. They can't even comment to reply. Isn't that more noble? No, it's not.

Because they don't know it. It's happening to them. They have an avoidance of political engagement viewing their primary loyalty to the spiritual kingdom rather than US government. I know that's right. Isn't that beautiful? It is beautiful. That's how I tried to raise Vernon here.

And then he goes to Rumspringer. And now he's talking about how he's going to go to Sudan and solve stuff. I started using X. No. Oh no. Not X. They learned on the Jersey boardwalk. Put them in the...

I'm sorry, yeah. I got distracted. It's so entrancing. Do you guys think I need a helping bra? No. No. I don't like that. wearing bras.

A helping bra. I think bras would be fine. We shouldn't be wearing bra. Of course we need to wear bras. I went to, uh, I went to my coffee shop this morning, and you know what they said? Oh, caffeine.

The coffee owner said, you look so much thinner. You look so thin. Really? You look so thin. Are you true? Are you... And then you looked at them like that.

I was still wearing this. I wore this on the way, too, so yeah. I, okay, let me tell. Can I tell you the truth? You've got, how do I say this without hurting your sensitive? A beautifully thin body? Or being crass. Or I know it's not crass because it has to do with something we make.

Say to me slowly. You have like a, you have a muffin top. Yeah, that's not crass. It's not. You have a muffin top. What? Yeah. Me?

Yeah. And there's a rapper that. that once said, may I quote something if it's crass? Please, yeah, please. It's educational. Educational, it's a quote. He says, Fiona only fucking with the girls with the muffin top. So Fiona would be interested in me?

Yeah, Fiona's a man. Fiona is from Shrek. True, also, yeah. Does the Amish know about Shrek? Yes. That's a great question. Yes, because you have to be aware of the swamp. Oh, here we go again.

Here we go again. I don't think we should talk about this. I think this is wrong. To speculate if they know about dream works. We were so wrong the last time. Who cares? If they don't know, it doesn't matter. What I was asking before that episode.

If a tree falls down in the forest. I don't know what has a phone to find out. What I was asking before the episode was, you can buy Amish Halloween costumes, which is what we did. But where's the line? At what point can you no longer buy a costume of that? Nick was seriously looking at this like Mennonite beard being like,

is this bad? And it's like, what are we doing? Is it bad that you can search Amish costume? And there's like a collection of, you know, caricatures of a community. How about this? We used to dress like carnival barkers like normally, like get on planes and we wear these hats and stuff like that.

We can buy a costume of that. I would argue that that's transitioned into a costume. We could be carnies. Those don't exist anymore, really. And there's more Amish than ever. And they're growing. And one day they'll take over the United States. you and what with what weapons?

Because the last The last example he used when I brought this up was vampires. And I was like, I think you get why that's different. We have skeletons of vampires the same thing. Yeah, it is different.

Because we have Amish people. We've never had skeleton people. Dude, can the Amish up chop? Oh my God, they can. Wait, yeah. Yeah, why do you? How did that?

Zip or no. I didn't know they could up shop. I think the period of life you think the Amish live in is a lot older than an actually is. So let's for just example's sake, think of a century, like what

century do you think the Amish are trying to live through? I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. Are you wear all this outfit? What was your beautiful woman name again? Ludwig. Ludwig, yeah. Ludwig, I don't care. I want you and Abagnale to raise nine kids.

Together? No, wait. She's my... You're not virile enough, to be clear. I was once. I thought that was your wife Look at my son No, you're his son You're his son Where are his wives

You're the son obviously No, that's my daughter That's why I was trying to discipline her But I'm gonna sit on my damn lap Yuck Mom and dad I ran with scissors earlier How is this?

Stop it! No burden, stop it Surely that's an infraction It's not an infraction It was bringing up the past He's fine Because like how do you think You come home from school

You're saying all sorts of Custin, okay? Me? How do you think I have to discipline me? Curses. I have you think I do you just discipline him for a one on damn Oh my god

That's one hour mud bathing Oh Oh what did you say He said the D word Oh This is hard In quotes he said damn What's it gonna be man

Maybe you could go shirt But leave the suspenders on Oh that would be hard That would be so good Okay Is that crass? No The human body is not crass

Unless it's a woman Unless it's a woman So you put a little bit of peanut butter I don't know if you know sudden it's fucking grass. No! You guys are really mad at this. I got to hit the nunu's off.

Yeah, the thing about it is Adam and Eve showed their bodies to the world. Hold my hat, Dar. Thank you. And then what are we going to do? We're going to burn the trash on the set after? I shall. Yeah, we're going to burn it all, so you do lose those new news. The thing about Adam and Eve is

I actually prefer Adam and Steve. And then throw those, throw those over. What did you say? I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I hate using the iPhone or something. Adam and Steve. I'm Vernon. It'd be so unlucky if he was Adam and Steve.

What are you talking about? Because God punished the entire gender that ate the fruit. Right. So it would just be a guarantee that men would have been punished. What is Eve doing in this situation? Eve ate the apple. No, no, no, but like if it's Adam and Steve, is Eve just hanging out? Eve's not there.

Steve replaced Eve You're saying there's just only men It's only men It's only boys town And it's only boys town And one of the boys is gonna eat the apple And then like what's the punishment for boys? But how do you make King and Able?

Knowing us boys we'd probably split that apple Lokey You were like you want half And then maybe Ate the whole damn fucking apple No Cursing Give the hell

I was cursed again Not the hell All you do is cuss Because then I don't I can't You don't I like how I like, my, my Puritan father, as soon as he takes his shirt off, has a death from above tattoo on his

Yeah, that was a rum spring in 1943 Yeah, I watched Starship Troopers and I really liked it Yeah, yeah, the Roomspring is sticks with you what dear, will you rub the feet? Oh, wow, you too, triggered? Dude, YouTube, they send your woke missile at us. Yo, you got some ugly toes, what's growing on the big involved in this? Don't say that. Don't getting involved in this combo tow man what is growing on the big one I don't know I don't know what we know yes look at it's growing will you rub it what's he do you it's a callus it's a callus how do you have a callus there I see it just is it gets

dry I don't know I don't know from working hard to here from me you know what it's from all the cattle that we're raising the barn it's from hanging out in the porn a lot I don't want to give just just touch it all I think it stinks too it doesn't it does it stinks too The problem is it doesn't... I think I like this because we're all becoming a little more faithful. And I...

I think less crass is the goal, right? I think we should be making a show that a seven-year-old should watch. I think we should be aired. Let's say a first-grade teacher sick that day. Wheel us in on the GROC AI

and have us be played to the seven-year-olds. Zippur, can you play a hypnosis spiral for me? On YouTube? Play a long one. What? We're going to make educational content

for seven-year-olds. Okay. Prager, you. No, it's going to be good. We have ads. Mali left. Do you think the Amish believe in being hypnotized? No, only by God.

For instance, Job. Are they religious? No, there's something else. Yeah, obviously. That's why they're so crazy. Christianity? Yes. Yeah.

Abrahamic. Your dad is now scary. Your dad, chases you around the house, like a monster. And you want this to go out to seven-year-olds. Your mom is a ghoul. Okay, okay. Okay.

Who are they supposed to turn to? The iPhone is addicting. You love your iPad. You'll never drop it. They don't... Do you think an iPad just one shot's one of those kids? Just straight up. Like an Amish kid?

Yeah. Just hits the ground. I think, I think... I think life would be better as an Amish kid than an iPad kid. Wow. And I guess I'm willing to say this. That's like what like an Elon, like Stan account tweets that they tweet you like that. The Amish have never had cancer.

I said shit. Yeah, so take it off then. You have to watch what you say, Vernon. When you're in my house. And we do burn everything in there. Take off the watch. When you're in my house that I raised you in? We burn it after.

We burn it. It's part of the Rum Spring of Festival. We have to be warm. We take out one thing? We take out one thing to remember. It's like Arc Raiders, you can save one thing because you brought your own loose. You just put it in your shoe.

Wow. Uh-oh. Bo-bo-bo-bub-bum, bo-bum. Stand up. Look at that chair dent you've made. Is it my, on my buzz? Are you just sending out fat jokes now

because you think you can? You're lashing out. Because you don't have a tummy like me anymore. Because my barista called me skinty. Yeah. I am now fatphobic. Okay. You always were, though.

Huh? I was not. it was fatphobic? You call you call me crazy stuff. What have I ever called you anything? That's crazy to say. Wait. From the day I found you, wash up on the beach.

I've been nothing but nice to you. How all Amish are found. The one day they roll in the town from the water. Yeah. I was in a shipwreck. Yes. And I saved you. Ship was pretty close to them. He came over from the old country. Okay. So, So let's say we have to defend our ranch.

Harpoons. Is our ranch under siege? Harpoons? We have guns. We do have guns. We don't chop. Dude, it'd be cool to up to up like... Why are guns called chop?

To bring a, uh, because a chopper, like a chopper. Stupid question. Oh, it's a shortening of the chop. Because I do let the chop a sing. Yeah. Um, but the chopas sing. We should give Amish guns with switches. They probably have never seen that.

That'd be crazy. Just Jedediah go and I shoot one bullet at the tree for supper. Bro! What was that? When we round up, okay, when the Dems go in power, and the Libs round up all the guns, we don't destroy them, we'd give them to the Amish. What are they gonna do with it? They're gonna have all the semi-automatic and automatic rifles.

What if they try to kill God? What if they turn on God? They would never. They could, though. They would lose. What if they, yeah, well, they would, shoot in the sky. Okay, if an entire homage community shot the sky with automatic weapons, how many real people

would die from bullets coming back to Earth? That's a... It depends how close people live. They shoot them towards New York. I don't think bullets go that far. They'd have to be on the outskirts of New York. This is a Brad Pitt movie. You know, the Mexican?

That would be the one of the funniest things to make up ever. Brad Pitt movie, the Mexican, they shoot guns in the air in a festival and the gun comes out and starts killing people. I never saw the Mexican but I saw the previews for it. This is like yingling it when we were playing blockbuster he's like movies about water. Deep blue just threw it out there. The Mexican's a real movie. Yes. But is that the central plot point or

is that just something that happens? He's just in Mexico. It happens in the movie. I don't know if it's the central plot point. Well, I don't like too much movies. I don't like too much of this media. Avicnail plays the harp. Yeah. Play something for us. Zipper, can you bring it out. Bring up my harp music.

I had a dream the other night where I was really excited to play the harp and show everyone, but no one had one. I'm not kidding. That's why I was in my head just now. You don't know. What about, um, no. And I was really upset. You could play it off the piano. It's not the same. Open it up. And that's a harp inside of their kind of. It's not the same. That's fair. Oh, it's interesting. It kind of is. It is. It has strings. I don't believe anyone plays the harp until they prove it. If someone says I play the harp, I would be like, no, you don't until they brought one out. Yeah, but they're so heavy. So it's like, it's a whole thing. That's why it's a good lie. You're like, I can't lift it. I can't bring it in and I can't

lift it. I hate not being grass. You used to dream of playing piano. Dream. Yeah, you used to dream. Yeah. And then you quit because you got lazy and pathetic. Yeah. So in that vein, what are some things you wish you did? You think life is run to spring out all the time. Avicnail is feeling a little... Oh, Abingnails feeling attacked. Oh, Abingnails feeling attacked. Did I phrase something correctly?

Well, I was doing piano at the same time as trying some other new things. Like what? Like learning Swedish? Counterstrike. Starting Swedish classes. It's funny how you bring up Swedish is the competing thing when counterstrike's right there. And Counterstrike? Avignail on her rumspringer.

went to a PC cafe and discovered the high dopamine of playing Counterstrike someone in your outfit at a PC like a Lancafe would look crazy

all right so you're you've been tasked with taking out an Amish person on their Rum Springer okay you can only show them

one thing what do you show them if the goal is to try to make it so they don't ever want to go back oh I was going to say light bulb meth

but that's fun well that I might make it, make them not want to go back. No, but no, they would love it. Usually drugs feels like cheating. Well, I think drugs, because what better, like, what's the word, rehab than going back to the Amish? That'd be the best rehab you can get. Yeah, because there's nothing to do there.

You're literally detoxing, but if you get sick, they have to, like, rub plants with you and stuff. They have hospitals. They go to the hospital. You have to eat an entire cold turkey because they didn't know what that meant. you go to the hospital? We looked this one up. They have a hospital. You know what I found out is that they have a town phone. No way. Yeah. Like, so they, they have, they have apparently one phone for like a community that, so you can call and contact somebody. Like, if you needed to do a follow up for a doctor's appointment or something like that. Domino's or something.

And I didn't know that they had that or, or one person gets to order Domino's. I want to call Domino's. Shared landline. Phone shacks. Man. We're saying, whoa, like phone boost didn't exist in our lifetime. Like, we had so many everywhere. You ever see a pay phone, like, just, and it's just, like, stripped down of all of its parts? You're like, man, that doesn't exist any.

Like, but it's... Remember the one in Diamond Bar outside of the, like, British Cafe joint? That was failing miserably? No. British Cafe joint. They had a British Cafe joint, and it was, it was next to the Roundtable Pizza. Cross the street from grid. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

So they had a British, they had a British phone spot, and they had one of those British, like, telephones in it, and that was, like, their big attraction. You know a homeless guy. To go check out the British phone booth in Diamond Bar, California. Yes, and let me tell you, didn't work. Whoa, awesome, place shut down. A phone, cool, phone booth.

Can I butt shower in that? They swear. I was going to say, I was going to say a homeless man filled that, like, to knee level. No, with poop. Because it was Diamond Bar. So the moment a homeless man entered,

Gil Cisneros shot them. They're shot by lasers in the sky. You're not a lot of enter diamond bar like that. It's like Tel Aviv for homeless people. That's Gavin's America. That's truly what we're aiming for. Gil Cisneros in the bronze dome. What is the, what was the license plates and not the signs we would see

the political ones that were all around? Gil Cisneros was live. No, it wasn't Gil lied. No, no, it wasn't that one. It was like, it was like a, fuck. Bang. Oh, I do remember this. And they changed you to a basketball.

Robbins. And you swore. And you swore. You also said the F word. You said the F word. I did? Yes. Wow.

And we want you to pay your penance. You have to pay the penance. You have to pay the penance. Let me see your fiery bush. Let me see five. Maybe no glasses. You could take out your fiery bush. Yeah.

It's going to smell like a monster and onion cheese sandwich. Oh, God. Oh. Oh. Oh. That had that. That had that. That's actually a saw trap.

That's in like Saw 4. That's how they would literally do that in Zoolander. Oh. Oh, don't sniff it. Ew. Oh, or is it still alive. I'm texting your mom about this. Don't text my mom.

Everyone got my mom's number. Yeah, she gave it to everyone. Okay, chill. She was passing it out. She was passing out her number to everyone she saw. She came in yesterday and she asked slime for his number in front of Nick. Right. It was really funny.

Well, I don't think he should have a phone. And we're at it. I need it to call the doctor and domino. Let me know what day works best. The doctor and domino should be the same guy in an homage community. The guy who delivers you pizza should also do your heart surgery. Yeah, he delivers you pizza and medicine. He drops the pepperoni in.

And he also can saw off your foot if it gets caught in a wolf trap. Are you going to marry one of your viewers? Are you going to officiate a wedding? Oh, yes, yeah, yes, I am. Yes, I have to officiate a wedding. Yeah, well, I was playing Minecraft. What happened? I was playing Minecraft.

Hey, hey, hey. You were playing Minecraft on your... Hey, congratulations. Thank you, man. Appreciate that. Congratulations. I appreciate that. I was playing Minecraft.

22. Is it the 22nd best Minecraft player on Earth? Yeah. What was that zipper? In like an extremely... There's just like no chance. It doesn't make any sense. It's hard for me.

You go to speedrun.com. You filter by hardcore and unmoded and I'm the 22nd best ever do it if that pisses you off then you can young lady what that pisses you off stop it that's a swear

pisses is a swear I was in a lap I was allowed to say pisses she won last her on my big lap that's we're back to the lap see that feels I know you didn't say it feels worse than what he said but you sit down the grass jar

I said pisses off and you keep bringing up her sitting on your lap What do you mean your big lap? Might I remind you? Describe why it's bad. That's your daughter. I know. I got to punish your good.

I hate it. You look fucking insane. You do look insane. I'm the man in his house. You really? No one damn respects me. Whoa. You take off something too.

I will... You are treading thin ice and you don't have a lot I love to give. This episode's... You don't have a lot left to give. You don't have a lot left to give. No, settle. Settle. Yes, mother.

Settle. Yes, mother, I'll settle. I'm sorry, mother. I'll settle a good, I'll settle a good, I settle, mother. Am I as a woman allowed to show these on your camera?

Oh, my God! Why do you spread them so far? Oh, I can do it too. Let the dog sing. Damn, you got ugly feet too. Yeah, that toenail fell off. What? You like being hurtful now.

He's, why just... Because you're perceived as... Because you have body dysmorphia. You're going to be hurtful to everything. Fee, gorgeous feet. Look at my feet. I have ugly feet too. I'm realizing that if we're all sticking to this new lifestyle,

we all have to find new hobbies. Wait, why? We can't, we can't. Counterstrike it. I can't play ball andro. My hobbies are, are shined upon by God. Like what?

Which hobbies? Minecraft? Peloton? God loves the peloton. Ride a real bike. You cannot use the Peloton. You could ride a normal bike. Watching football?

God loves football. Watching it. Where? Watch it. What would you watch it on? Mm-hmm. I'm watching it on TV on my Belletton. No.

Why did you say it like the fucking you'd have to piss an Amish off? You'd have to go to the roundtable pizza. Oh my God. The Amish has one roundtable pizza. Yeah, you got to go to the round table pizza. You get a community phone,

a community roundtable pizza. That's right. And you can watch the Steelers. And you got to keep that peanut butter on the top shelf locked up. You can play Pac-Man, but you can't wash your hands. That joystick's got to be slippery. It's got me. Greasy joystick. Just trying to set the record on the graciest joystick. You got it. When you walk by the mortal combat, you just got to put your eyes.

I gamble. You gamble. Is sports gambling not in part of God's great glory? It's actually not. Kalshi is one of God's greatest creations. Sports gambling's not okay, but betting on sports markets via Robin Hood is. God loves Polly Market. What about betting on Dota 2 games? That weirdly comes back around? You know, people are betting on the streamer awards? I know. What?

We could make it $7 million. People are betting on the streamer awards. Isn't that crazy? Let's do a little bit of, you know. Let's do an inside scam. Let's joke about committing a felony. It's not even a felony. What is it is?

Insider trading. No. Made up stuff? What are you talking about? Okay, start a polymarketing. thing, who will be the first on the yard to say the word poop? And then if one of us saw this knew about it and then bet on it, we would be arrested. No, by who?

The president's doing this right now. That means we can all get away. Is it insider trading if I just know him so well that I bet on something that I think he'll do? Let me rephrase you. Is it insider trading if I have inside knowledge? It's not a federal and regular knowledge. He doesn't tell me I'm going to go do this.

No, this is inside knowledge. I'm just like, oh, I know this guy so well. I know he's going to go on the stream of words and he's going to say a swear and that's the I would never do that by the way but we can talk about the hypothetical I yes I would think so yes

it's like me knowing a market really well what do you want this is what happened when she goes unpunished let her be unpunished yes mother God will punish her yes mother God will punish you Abagnale

sorry father father what was your name again Abner And Vernon's my Brother? Vernon's your brother yeah Your brother dad And also a

But it's also your wife No that was a joke That was a little joke I said That's my that's mother my wife Ludwig mother my wife So your mom and dad And we're the kids

Yeah Canonically Yeah And he's on Rum Springer I'm your cool older brother On Rum Springer Oh hold on Oh

And he's been doing all kinds The hands are real loose with it And you went on But all you do is by CS2, so you know nothing about the world. And you came home, because you couldn't hit 20K. Yeah. You just missed the terrorists in the non-terrorists. I missed the window.

I just spent a two-day weekend watching flam videos. What was your question, Abingdale? Abingdale just wanted to remember her father's name. It's Abner, and you've gone on punished for long enough. I was playing CS2. Why do you always want to punish me, and why is it always involved sitting on your lap? Because you said a swear, and the lap is we're punished me. It's his big lap

Ludwig, mother Yes Mother can punish you as she pleases Mother Ludwig fine Take care of him He's untake care Carable That's

There's no there's no lap big enough To punish him You know what I say I sit in the lap of the Lord He can't punish me Because his lap's not big enough for me I sit on the Lord's Jesus' lap Is that why you've gotten so fat mother

Yes to avoid the lap lap. Mother has a muffin top and you'll soon have one too Abagnale. And that's what you'll know you're ready.

The other day the other day I watched because you had made it like a tweet reply or something and Freakazoid

the CS player replied to you he was called you a pussy Yeah that was crazy so I went into his chat and I asked

why do you think Ludwig's a pussy Freakazoid and he and he I thought you know, I thought he'd bring up the classics. The Ludwig

the Ludwig classics. But he he just called you a pussy again and then got really mad about how you have a dad bod and that you flaunt it. Ironically. He just so crazy. He just kept talking about he's a disgusting dad bod that he

shows off and it doesn't make any sense. And I was... Guy with body dysmorphia. It's just disgusting. Guy with insane bodyis morphia. You can't do that. That's crazy. And the gentleman plays counter strike too? He's just plays counter strike. Yeah, freaks me played for a long time.

I was kind of sad. I'm like, damn, two bad bitches fighting when it's one bad bitch. Post the screenshot with his mom. I thought about it. I was like, no. Because he did slime on the scene with his mom. Yeah. Oh, did you?

Yeah, it was great. Yeah, it was nice way back then. It was mom on the scene. Is he still pro? No. No, he hasn't been a pro in ages. Yeah. That's right, though.

I can't be hurt by words of content creators. Imagine he watches this and he sees this. Dude, he'll have one shot him. He'll shoot himself in the skull. Comes in his lap, freak. What do you think this? What do you think of this? I think he's a great guy, but if this bothers you,

I guess send the woke-ness laugh for me, dog. He only wants to see really hot men. I guess. He has a hot Glenn Powell body. Come mess with a skinny fat genius. Threat? Dude, skinny fat genius is such a good counter-shrank name. Come mess with me.

You're watching the running man Just to see Glenn Powell take the shirt off Yeah You look so good Glenn We should have him on Freakizoid Yeah We solved it

And we solved the problem And we get our And we all have our shirts off We get our disgusting bodies out He watches and eat My disgusting body out for Freakiz We do a muckball You are so cut

That's his mom Yeah that's freaks mom It is right she's so sweet Wait so he must be young Yeah I mean This was a while ago That's not Freak's

Eight years ago. That is launders. That's what I thought. Anyway, I don't love the bleached hair. You don't love it. I don't love it. Okay. And I have to do it. Go back in time to 2018 until longers. You have to do it again. You have to do it again. You have to do it. It was if we raise $100,000 for charity, I would do it. And we did it. And guess what? MFR. What? You did it. So now I have to get bleached hair. Although I canceled my appointment to play Minecraft. You look good in all these looks. So I don't. it's annoying. I don't know how it'll look with the beard. Bad.

Oh, you'll look like in sync like God. Yeah. I do think I'll look weird. This podcast is sponsored by Ridge. Well, let me tell you a situation

I was in, fellas. Please. Because I'm with my girl. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And we're at the shops. And I'm like, and I'm like, baby, I'm going to pay for you.

Mm-hmm. 22 makes sure you're not taking, you're not worried. You're taking care of. Yeah, and you're 22. I'm 22. Right. That's why I'm,

I say, 22 takes care of you. Yeah. And I reached for my wallet and I go and I go uh oh because my, my wallet used to be so feeble, it used to be so weak. Uh-huh. And I only had one card in it. That card expired October 2025.

That's bad. Because my other card fell out. That's bad. And so you know what my girl does? She goes, I'll pay it's fine. You let that happen? 22 lets that happen? Well, 22 says no, slaps the card out of hand.

22 has more money than God and makes his girlfriend pay. This is actually a real story. I was also in Vegas and then Kelby had to withdraw cash for me because I still did not fix the wallet issue. I heard about this. Kelby literally to withdraw 1,500 because I couldn't do it because I didn't have the card. It's so good for you.

I just can't find a wall that'll work for me. We can find one. We can find one. And Ridge, I think Ridge, because Nick's been using a Ridge wallet for years. Ridge will solve your problem. You know what I actually like about this is you can get an air tag attachment to put it without like damaging the wallet

because I've stuff one in mine and now my wallet's all loose and flopping from the air tag in you. Do you think you could fit it in there? I want to put an air tag in you and track where you go. Chat, do you think you could fit it in there? Easy.

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find the perfect gift for the holidays. You know people? If you say it again, they're not going to call us back and we're not going to answer. I was just going to say. Please don't say. I wasn't even going to say. If I could just,

I have one final thing I want to say. Wow. I was, I was just going to say, people start shopping for the holidays a little bit late. So start shopping a little bit earlier and get something ridged for her pleasure.

Get it rich for her pleasure. Please, just get us back. Just enjoy our first and last ridge. You know who looks weird? Who, man. It is Howie Mandel. What? Zipper turned and quickly with the yes.

There was also thinking about this. Epicnail doesn't know who Howie Mandel is. I think it was Howie Mandel. You seen that clip of Howie recently? He was like he was talking about Ricky Jervais' comedy special and how it's like awesome. Yeah. That clip is so cool.

I was walking for Burbank. This kind of looks like Dan Herschel. Wait, wait, scroll down. The one on the left. Yeah, that one. Click it. You're afraid of your dad. Your iPad is your best friend.

It's Howie telling you? He's in a new ad. I forget what it's for. I think it's for a shoe. How old is he now? He's like 50-something, 58? You know what I watched the other day? I saw a clip of Caleb heroin?

Oh my God, he's a 70. 69? Yeah, he turned 70 this week. That's so beautiful. Maybe Ricky Jervais will do a cameo for him. He's the oldest person to collab with Mr. Beast. Is that true? Like in a genuine cloud.

Like he does the one to 100 and the 100-year-old. Like an old man that Mr. Beast has like put in the Saudi Arabia trap. Yeah, yeah. I can't believe he's that old. What if we took a field trip? We took the whole family, the Amish family, to Saudi Arabia, learn about culture. Oh my God. Okay.

The Riyadh family trip. That's right. We go to Beasteland, obviously. But also, we just, you know, we'd be Amish in Riyadh, and Abagnale is not allowed to go anywhere. Because I just don't, I'm tired of you. Ew Don't show me the feet It's the it's the

How about this How about it's the gay Riyadh trip And we all go And we're all in a Like quintuple And we're just Sing and Fing We're just Sing and Fing in Riyadh It's the S&F off

To we get arrested And it's how long do we last And Slim Jim And Slim Jim will sponsor us For the S&F off in Riyadh Yeah And Freakazoid's there But he doesn't participate

But he judges our body He goes, God, they look so weird shirtless. I hate the way they look shirtless. Sorry, if this scares you, dude. Oh, I'm sorry, triggers. That's a crazy graphic. What is, I don't know, is donating blood legal? Is that what I'm reading? Oh, what a win.

There we go. I bet it's, I bet it's, if you take gay blood as a Riyadh citizen, it's pretty much an hell. It's insane if you look at this chart, because, It's like, death penalty is punishment. But if you can live long enough to donate blood, it's chill. Wait, you could actually donate blood. I'm surprised by that. I think it's probably because there's no, like,

no one is surfacing the fact that they're gay in Saudi Arabia. No, I can't police it. It's legal, so you're allowed to go there and be like, I'm gay, this is gay blood. No, no, but you probably can't, right? Because they'll use one of the other ones to not even let you do it. Oh, yeah, because then you would, you don't get to that stuff. They can't police the,

blood. They, like, because if you donate gay blood and then they find out that you're gay, that blood's gone, it's gone. That picture on the right is hilarious. You can't even, if someone hate crime you. The picture of Saudi Arabia. I know, that's what I was saying. It's filled with the pride flag is hilarious. Someone with that profile picture commenting you on Twitter. Is this location that like Southeast Asia? I can't wait for the next fear and episode. That profile picture. Maybe we've isolated ourselves too much Because I was thinking about how this episode got deleted

And over the weekend I went to I went to atricon In 2025 What you what? Dude Yeah because I didn't I didn't know what it was What the Sam Hill is that Atriox community put together a mini convention Filled with like the fans built around Atriac

And they rented out like a theater venue in L.A and did a full programming of streaming stuff for the day. That's an S and F off. And you know the hotel room got crazy. No, it's not like AGDQ 20, like 17. All right. With the banjo boys? With the banjo boys back in 2017.

That's crazy. How do you know about that banjo boys? Anyone speaking a rare game is getting crazy. There's a man who puts monocidal on your head as you walk in. He rubs the cream in. The balding SNF off. He rubs the cream. And I went. And you had a good time?

I got a lot of people. Yeah. It was a good time and I did the we did a little game show we did a little Q&A and then afterwards you know we do the you know people who watch a lemonade stand or the yard won't come up but there were a handful of people who were like you know the yard is not really my thing uh but I I like lemonade stand and such pathetic people maybe if I had maybe if we made the show a little more palatable hmm maybe maybe if we extended an arm out and and didn't talk about I think There you go. There's your olive branch.

So, hey, what's up, lemonade, stand viewers? Hey, it's me, man. So happy, happy Christmas to you now. Do you like it? Yeah. Is that good? Like what you see? Is that good?

Is this good? Is this palatable enough? Disgusting animal. Because the LS viewer is someone who pretends that they're learning something and just wasting time, watching content like anyone else. Don't say yes. Like, it's not you.

He's right. He's right. They're absolutely. pathetic. And it's, it's, it's, it just watch something that's like, fun. You'd have to pretend you're trying to learn something. Because when someone listens to the yard, they know what they're getting into. They're listening to this to fucking shut off their mind. You think they know they're getting into

this. They'll learn, they'll learn a few things from Nick. I swear, I swear. What did I say? You said the F word. So I fucking didn't. You shake off your socks for the wikki feet. Oh my God, you have long socks. Oh my. So here's what the average yard viewer. A yard viewer is inherently honest. Because they understand

the product they listen to. A lemonade stand viewer will say, yeah, listen to this, I listen to this podcast. I listen to mostly educational content. It's like, brother. Sometimes, though, they're kind of funny. And I like to have a little bit of humor with when I'm learning. It's as insufferable as the other, not the worst

community, but a community that falls into the same trap, Northern Lion viewers. No. Someone watches the Northern Lion's stream and they feel like they have just read like Britannica. he did this they're doing this he cited candide the other day and I'm like that's pretty

cool yeah but like no one's talking about Voltaire but hearing that's for me hearing the reference for Voltaire is not educating you no it's not and I don't think there should be any illusion about that yes but I think it's I think it's bad A that he does it yeah well of course he's a phenomenal

streamer let's not say but what I'm saying is I don't think they're one to one because I don't think he's trying to teach people in the exploration of something like L.S. I don't think the intent of the creator matters. We're not looking for your input, the belief of the viewer. We're not looking for your input on this. Abignale. Abingnail. Sit in the lap of the Lord. Sit in the lap of the Lord. The punishment lap for you. Lord. I'm in your lap. I'm saying it's the behavior of the viewer. The viewer believes it. That's where the, I find the viewer to be reprehensible. You know what made my heart sing is because he was

talking about how they did a Patreon episode and Doug was gone. And they just did like a like an hour long riff sesh about like Jamal Khashoggi and Mr. Beasland or something. And I was like, that's the kind of thing. And you know they paywalled it. Well, yeah. They know they paywalled it. I don't care. They're not willing to say that lie. We paywall stuff. They need the Riyadh check. Ooh. Would you take it? Okay, Bill Byrd. It's called MF for. It's 10 million. Would they take it? We actually took the CCP check. We talked about it. I wouldn't take the Riyadh check. You took the CCP check. That's different.

Well, it's different. Smaller check. Much smaller check. Smaller check. What do you have a Huawei sponsorship I'm talking about? It's a Huawei Stenem and Square episode from Lemonade Sand. Yeah. They handed you an awesome laptop.

The first big event in Tiananmen Square, fiber. It's all connected via Huawei's fiber network now. The first, there's been nothing big here. Dude, always used to rule. they used to rule? Well yeah, we don't have them anymore I don't know what they look like now When I worked at Best Buy we had Walways

And anytime someone would come in I would recommend the Huawei Because it'd be way cheaper And sick And it would hit all their notes People came in and they couldn't afford Because the Samsung's in the apples There was no discounts

I got a Huawei laptop in that room Yeah that's Were they raising them prices over the year In anticipation of Black Friday Were you seen that happen? What you mean by that? They say that like Black Friday that when the 80% price

it's because they 70% price raised over the year slowly. I don't think so. I think they would just bring out a skew that was higher price but sold out. That makes sense. So I don't think they're like creep pricing because you would notice the creep pricing on common products. It's more like they have a product that probably isn't on the shelves all the time. Then they make the skew available and that one is 80% off and that one's overpriced. And then when it's over, they get rid of that product.

Would it be crass to ask you a question about Best Buy? No. Okay. So he has full permission. It's interesting that you would ask because it's like, how could it even be crass? That's what I was about Best Buy? As long as it's about Best Buy, it won't be crass. Now that you've asked, now that you've asked, I'm actually expecting it to be crass.

When you were working there, did anyone ever take a dump in one of the fridge? And then close the fridge and then unplug the model. No one came close to that. No one came close to that. No, my boss actually assaulted me. I know. You always talk about it. He touched me in the night.

I know God. Oh, we know. God. Jesus, dude. I'm here for you, Ludwig. My boss touched me. I'm going to tell the story again. Thank you, Abingdale. Thank you, Abidna.

I can share this with somebody. Because I've had to, every time I bring it up, sit on the lap. You know, the Lord. My rung springer was ruined. The arm's not used God's name in vain. You just did.

You went and worked at best by. Didn't they just do it? Who did it? Oh, you're not a zipper in the ark. Why did it up? One of you just brought up the Lord's name in vain. How about some buttons?

Unbuttoned for me. I have such pathetic chest hair. Yeah. At least I got some. At least I got some. Do you have chest? Uh-oh, your mom messaged me back. And she's free Saturday.

Oh, you talk to her like that. Chill out. She's free Saturday. A flag on the play. Okay, chill out. What's real it back? Let's think about what we're doing here. Sorry.

Nick, she was begging me for my number. It was weird. She was very... She kind of insisted. She was begging me for my number. And then she brought me a gift. That's such a treat. She's always like, I need to talk to him.

Mothers want to protect you. She's a counselor, by the way. You're not awesome? I think we do have... My mother feels the same. Parent interact. Yeah, my parents do too. They see you and they see a baby

who needs to be cuddled. But you guys don't feel that way because you know that I'll make it. It's because we're not women. What? We don't have that nurturing part of us. Do your girlfriends do? I don't want to nurture me too.

Can I touch it? No. Do? Can I touch it? Oh yeah. Solid. He'll touch it more. It's hard.

Touch it more. I don't want to touch it more. You're stacked. You got to touch it in this part. You're stacked slime. Oh! You'll like it. You'll like it.

You'll like it. You'll like it. You'll like it. You'll like it. Oh. Take the tip of your finger. He wiped it. He wiped his finger.

Thanks for that. If you imagine. If you imagine his nipples as the eyes and his belly button as the mouth, it kind of looks like a frog. Hey, I'm an AI created by Dog Dog, I'm going to teach you about... This is a Doug Doug video. I'm going to teach you about... I'm sitting on my digital lap. I'm doing to see you're punishment.

I made an Amish AI to beat Skyrim Blindfold. I'm Doug Doug. A.I plays video games for me. And it plays it better. That's why I like it. My name's Doug Doug and I solve problems nobody has. And also my friend Aiden's a pedophile. We take that one off.

Yeah, well, you can say that. Amish people can't say that, it's crass. They can't say, I won't say it then. Can't say pedophile. Whoa! No, it's a quote, he's fine. Abignale, don't quote mother just so you can say crass words. But mother leads the way.

Mother does need the way. Mother sets the example. Father Abner leads the way. Wow. Oh, Jesus. And all roads lead to his lap For punishment All roads lead to Father Abner's lap

They're gonna make a Netflix documentary about Father Abner Because he is problematic Not problematic, I just run a tight ship Unless it's my son My son Vernon Your son seems to get away with a lot It's Rumspring all you're doing is like Counterstrike It's a lot covering tattoos

Your son's covered in tats No arms involved What are you gonna come home? When are you gonna come home from Rumspring? Never. Never. Maybe soon. Maybe soon or never. It's the thing. It's Rumspringer. He will come back like a boomerang. Of course he will because he's right with the Lord. How one has ever said Rumspringer this much in one episode of a podcast?

That's not true. There's definitely Amish podcasts. Abner is the Father of Enlightenment from the Hebrew. And I also... That makes sense because the Amish population is exploding. You always love to talk about that. We are literally doing an Amish episode. I mean, look at the data. It's unbelievable. Can we be real? Can I ask it? Can I be vulnerable?

ask a question and forgive me if it's crass please but if we're wearing these outfits yeah couldn't we like just as easily be like Mennonites or Quakers I don't think we're knowledgeable enough about those we're not even knowledgeable enough of all men and I was banned second of all true

what's the second thing you say it's the guy on the tube yeah yeah well he's the guy that made the outs well the men and I've talked about this before but I worked an old job as a busser and the menonites would come into the restaurant and it was weird but it wasn't like bad. They were just, it was weird to see them in their Mennonite like world dressed like this, literally like this. But it's like chill. And then they would order burgers and watch

the game. But the rules are, yeah, that's what I'm saying. The rules are different, right? Like, I see people who are dressed similar to us in the airport pretty frequently. They're getting on planes. I don't like that. Yeah, I see that all the time. Yeah, so that's, and then that's what you look like. What do I do? What don't I even take off? You look exactly like that. Take off your pants because they're underneath. Oh, no. Oh, no. Unbutton your pants now.

Avicnail, God damn it. I don't even have pants on. I should have kept them on. I didn't think about my ass idea. Uh-oh, Abingnail, I just dropped the, um... What would the, I almost drop? I dropped the shovel. I just dropped some shovel.

Abingnail, you got to pick it up. I just dropped a big bale of hay that I was holding onto. I dropped a whole bale of hay. I'm stuck in the grain. Oh, I'm stuck in the grain. I'm stuck in the grain. I'm stuck in the grain. Get me out.

You gotta have to get me out with your teeth. This episode is going to get deleted. This episode's going to get deleted. It's not even crass. I just stripped in the middle of the episode. You're wearing a dress. You're being crass. You're being pretty crass tonight.

Take it off. As my daughter, I'm tired of it. Dude, when girls can, you ever see a girl take a bra off under the shirt. Yeah. It's like magic. It's crazy. I don't know.

That's easy. Oh, it's easy. Yeah. And I'm not impressed by women for that. okay okay sure man you know what we seem to have struck a nerve none of them what is impressive to you about women um giving birth oh yeah yeah that one seems tough it's crazy i was talking to Tyler when he said I asked him a question I was like do you think he gave birth he's like yeah easily and he's

probably the only man who I believe when he says like so many so many girls run that category like at some point it's like you know you gotta think it's not that hard do you what do you think the death rate is for giving birth these days for the for the mother of the baby For us or for other people? These days worldwide. For the mother of the baby. For the mother. Less than what percent?

One in every 200. So like 2%. That's so many. No way. I just said 2%. I take it back. No, that's not 2%. Yes, it is.

One in 50 would be 2%. That's how 0.5%. There you go. It was backwards. I'm going to say like... Yeah, 0.5%. Guess? Zipery, if you can look this up.

Point... Death rate for women giving birth? Does this count births that take place outside of hospitals? Point one, point one. It's point one. Oh, global? Caterstrike global birth. Guys.

One, one percent. It's way less. That's way less. 32 deaths per one. Zipper, this is U.S. It's in the U.S. Zipper, this is U.S. I want worldwide.

This is. It's high is what I'm saying. Can I adjust? 1.05. Well, then that's AI, so we don't know. It's AI. Look at the. that 200 per 100,000, which is math I can't even do it's really tiny. Wait, I'm pretty close then

right? It's massive. It's small. Did I do the math wrong? I can't do the math. It's insane. You know what? I know someone this happened to. That's sad. That's sad. Yeah. So now your little statistics game, guess what? It has a real, it has a real attachment to it. I'm trying to wake people up. Hey, mother. Oh wow. It's really, it's a really low. I'm trying to wake people up to how high it is. It's higher than you'd think. It's literally really low. What can I do? What can I do to help? What do you do to help?

Let's stop getting women pregnant for once. Done. And how about the men do some of the giving birth? I would, dude. Well, God wouldn't want that. It's just like taking a big dump. God chose them. I don't think it's like taking a big dump.

It is. It's a front dump. But I don't think you get dilated when you give a dump. I'm so sorry to the mothers. What are you talking about? The mothers who are listening. When you give a dump, I don't think. I'm so sorry. Abner.

Abner says some things he doesn't mean. Speak for yourself. For one, sit in the lap of the Lord. And stop talking now. Now, for two, anyone in the comments that we're not allowed to read

because screens are the devil or whatever, if you are a mother and you listen to the Yard podcast, is it like, how close is it on a scale of one to 10, one being nothing at all and 10 being exactly like taking it down? And if you're my mother

and you listen to the podcast, stay out of it. I feel like, I feel like it would be, yeah, but eight centimeters, zipper, please. I feel like it'd be like passing a kidney stone. I've never done that. My dad did once, and he said it was the most pain he's ever been in in his life, and he didn't ever talk about stuff like that. He would never admit he had pain.

What's the most painful thing you guys have been in when I had a staff infection? What was that meaning? Do you sit on a gym mat? It wasn't, I should not. Okay, I was going to reply with, it was in my face. That's a bad reply of that. What'd you do there, buddy? No, I was taking acutane.

The acne medicine that's really intense. I got blood work every month. Does you have a bunch of gross pimples? I don't know. Because I had a bunch of gross pimples in high school. And it worked and got rid of it. But it also, you have to, like, your skin's really dry. Like, you have to wear sunscreen every day and all this shit.

And it made my lips really dry. Stop. Stop. You said a swear. This episode of the yard is sponsored by the all-in-one website platform Squarespace, Derek. What? I did something for you, man. I heard what happened

I heard you got in that snowmobile accident I heard you haven't been the same at all I'm fine You've been more emotional The things that usually you do in life Just don't bring you joy It's not true And what I did bro

For you man I made a website with Squarespace Of all the things you love dude Yeah I'm fine You don't have to do this man I don't think I should I don't think I need it

But like maybe Maybe still show it to me Derek, bro, you don't have to be like this anymore. Showing your friends and being a bro to your friend is not gay. I used the Squarespace. I made this website. It has a fundraising goal to give you that Lego house that you've always wanted to build. It has online stores.

It has email campaigns. I sent emails. You did that for me? Derek, I sent emails to everyone saying, let's cheer up Derek. You know I love sending out emails about what fucking fantasy league I'm doing this I know. I know, man. To all my friends. Because that snowmobile accident changed you, bro. And now I don't have to type all the emails in one by one on my Gmail.

And I use the SEO tools as well. I mean it so that it shows up when you search Derek's fantasy. I told it, because I'm not very good at remembering stuff. And if I tell my friends, they just kind of got to look up the website, they'd like find it pretty easy. And he's find it really easy with the SEO tools from Squarespace. Derek, I did this for you. So I've made this website. you can go see it as well

Derek's favorite stuff dot com so it's at Squarespace.com slash a yard sorry so head to squarespace.com slash yard to save 10%

on your first purchase of your own website or domain by using code yard at Squarespace.com slash yard and use code yard as well. Derek, you don't have to say anything, dude. You know,

you know that I always ride And I've been fine. I know, dude. But this is actually really sweet for you. I'm just glad that you're in my life and maybe you could come sit on my lap. Let's get back to the episode. You said a swear.

I'm recounting a horror. We're terrible. As if I care. I'm recounting a horror. Mother doesn't care. And we can't use God's language to describe the horror? I make Abingnails sit in the lap of the Lord,

so you take that off. Wait. There we go. I can't see now. Wow. I'd rather the shirt off. Could I say that? He can't hear us because his glasses are off.

Huh? He can't park either. The radio's on. So my lips were really dry all the time, and so they're dryly susceptible to bacteria. I got somehow staff, which is, you know, often just on your body all the time.

It entered, and I got a staff infection in my face. And then it went away, and then it came back immediately after it went away, and I was like, what the fuck's happening? And doctors were like, It's the acutane.

They didn't know that. You just swore again. We'll let it pass. I was a story. I'm recounting a horror. I missed it. I must be able to. If I'm reading a book to Abignale

and the book recounts horrors and has curses. If you're reading a book with curses in my... What is that? What's up there? Do you really not know? No, keep recounting the horror.

What is it? Keep on the horror. He's giving visual aids for your story. Okay. Yeah. It's not making fun of me? No, no, it's a staff infection example. Yeah.

Oh, close. So my lip got really big. I think I've shown the picture on the podcast. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then they had to go, I'd go to surgery, and I was afraid of anesthesia. So they kept me awake. And they tried to numb it, but it doesn't work if it's infected. So they just had to slice open my fucking, like, the scalpel open my fucking lip.

And they had to fucking drain everything out. And then I went into shrews. shock. And it was what? Yeah, it was crazy. I got like a hundred and three fever in like three seconds. You don't die from shock. You definitely die from shock. You just get shock. You could. You just freak out. You definitely die from shock. It's just when you freak out. It's not when you freak out. You're acting like shock is like when you're surprised. I mean shock. There's a shock. There's a medical shock. Yeah, the medical shock kills constantly. That's what saves you. Well, also staff in your head kills constantly. I kind of got through at all. Father is the

most well. I've read the medical book that I have on the book show. is a life-threatening medical emergency that can lead to death. I'm tired of me. Now I got scar tissue that I wish you so. You don't need that. It's saying shock can cause permanent death. One in five die from shock. Well, one in five doctors.

I know a dog that lives through it. Hate his toothpaste, huh? You know what? I can't see you. I don't know. Is it approving of the joke or is it kind of like, what do you mean? You really don't know his face, huh? I actually can't see his face.

That's so sick. Does it look good blurry? You look like, um, you look like the little scroll that we have. that we have that people use to prove Jesus and what he looked like. You look that up? Oh, yeah, yeah. It's like a little, it's like a shadow. It's actually, this is exactly what you look like. Look up a, like, the thing that, the scroll of Torin.

That's what it's called. What's you talking about? Do you get it right? Guy who still thinks we're recording D-O-R-I-N. Something of, is that right? T-R-O-R-N. Yeah, scroll of Torin. It looks like Jesus' face.

This will give you misty steps. If you never had glass, if you like, your glass is broken, you never got any, and it was the apocalypse, and there's no glasses, stores. Would you recite eventually get better? No. Because you're like using it? No.

Really? I don't know how this works. My eyes eyes eyes have been fired. Why? It doesn't know how anything works, apparently. Why don't you know how that works? I will kill you. Don't put me on the lap.

I will kill my only daughter. Do you think that eyes are muscles and his muscles are weak? Yes, I thought that. Turin? T-U-R-I-N? The eye. The scroll of Turin! That I get it right?

The, there is, it refers to the turrets. In Turin kingless, an ancient Egyptian pyrus from the 19th dynasty, which lists the kings of Egypt. It's unrelated to Jesus. Are you thinking of the shroud of Turin? Shroud? Maybe? Maybe the shroud? The counterstrike guy? That's it. The shroud of Turin. That's what you look like. Almost identically. That's really, really funny. Thank you. Well, you look good. That's so nice. You look mysterious and good. Are you being for real with me that eyes don't work out like muscles? Eyes is not a muscle. Think of it like a lens. You have a lens in your eyes. eye and the lens is just cloudier.

It's foggier. So he's always going to be screwed. Look, look. Great example. If you do this and you look through your finger, you make the tiniest whole possible, it actually helps my eyes like my glasses do. Same thing. Because it points all the light to a specific point, which is what my eyes can't do. Oh, no, no, I get it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Pretend that it's

a salt shaker. You can taste it. Yeah. Not going to get me, Vernon. You do this. But I can see if I do this perfectly. Almost perfectly. That's crazy. Because my eyes can't focus the light to a point. God's body that he made for us is so beautiful. God's body. It is really beautiful. God's body.

So what's the most painful thing you've been through? I actually thought you're looking at me. Oh, where I just told you? Wait, Ludwig, what the most painful thing? You want me to just cut him off? I'd rather you cut Father Abner off. He's less interested in... Father Abner's been through so much.

Father Abner... If you think about it, Father Abner must have gone on a lap at some point. But you have to wonder who's... Father Abner had Rum Springer. And let me tell you, it was like seven times his, okay? Father Abner smoked it out of a light bulb. You could never do what he's doing. You could never do Vernon's move.

Yeah, no, probably not. It looks good. Father Abner wore a checkered vans. It looks good, Vernon. The most pain I've ever been and ever. It was, okay. Oh, a vanschest.com collab. And it has the pieces on it.

Easy. Sorry, go on. I just let me make a call Free money Let me make a call real quick Is it the blurry ones too Okay so I was It's when I was I was walking home from work

Because I used to take the light rail And I had to poop And then my butt started doing the sharp knives Yeah And that was it I've never felt the sharp knives Before pooping Wow

Yeah it was just a sharp knife It was needing to shit that bad Yeah it was like stabbing That's your worst pain ever It was when I broke my arm It was terrible It hurts so bad That's all

It's not interesting. Mine was taking Advil. Oh, because your appendix? I was after my appendix burst. I was doing post-op care, and I took 800 milligrams of ibuprofen. And it hurt more? That's not what that does.

And, well, I didn't eat any food, and so it ruptured my stomach lining. Oh, jeez. And that hurt. Let me tell you this. If I was there. They hurt worse than the appendix bursting. Yeah, the appendix never burst.

It was just on the precipice of bursting. Oh, and they got that shit out? I would have sucked. the appendix out of you to save your life. Thank you. And you know what, your friends? Uh-huh. Who Who's this? That were there on the ski trip, your friends? Oh, Christian?

Christian, one of them? He never sucked it out. He didn't suck it out. Christian and Jake never sucked it out. Wow. I want you to remember that. Christian and Jake never sucked it out. Hey. Christian and Jake never sucked it out. You watch it, kiddo. We're still on the episode. I'm just bringing it up. It's a good point. I'm going to ask Christian after this. Why didn't you suck it out for me? Why don't you suck it out for Ludwig?

Because I would have sucked it out for you. We'll corner him. Returning to form. I don't know if I could find it. We'll find what. Point to the appendix on your body because you have an open carcass. Oh, I know where your scar is.

Yeah, yeah. I know where it is because I've... Wrong. Too high. Too high and wrong side. Yeah. And too high and higher. Yes.

Yes. Oh. Hey, this is my appendix. And you'd suck it out for Abner? Yeah, I would throw in a metal. I would let father die. What would you guys do for each other? I would kill a...

I can't say that. Yes, you can if it's appropriate. I don't think it is. Like the Matt Walsh rabbi, would you... Would you say... It sucks in gorilla sticks. He just blocks him. I would...

I would kill someone for you guys. Would you kill someone innocent? An innocent? Yeah. You would kill an innocent. I would... You would kill an... Maybe not,

maybe not Aiden. Okay, so, like, how? However I needed to. You would shoot like an 11-year-old boy in the skull? Would you do it for abignail? How do you know he's innocent? Has she been acting up today? No, she's been a good girl today.

Maybe I would. Well, it makes the boy innocent. How do we know? Good question. I would. Young boys are full of sin. What's the worst thing I would do to save y'all? I would do a lot.

Would you swing swift around like Bowser? actually do I have to release him you gotta release him you gotta say so long because once you wind up once you wind up it's like he's gonna go is he gonna live it somewhere do you hit the bomb it's up to

I miss him it jumps back up it's it's in God's hand he might land on a trampoline and so it's like basically what I kill Swift to save you yeah are you certainly dead if I don't I'm so dead yeah he's gone

for sure you kind of have to right it sucks but you do kind of have to what coots um I would have to I would have to but coots would live it

yeah cats just live that coots would love the coots would almost look forward to it I know that was hard for you to say she'd come back for another round and I really appreciate it I would do it for you can dur's do the thing where you drop a cat upside down and it lands on his feet or does jurors just land Durs seems like he was just laying on his

it's funny because I try every day he's never got it once. Really? Yeah, and I keep trying. Hike on the couch? Nope. On the floor? No, I've never tried.

I've never tried. I don't really pick up Ders and drop him. I'm thinking about getting to Doberman. Yo! Just thinking about it. I want one of those big, scary Doberman. Why do you want a pup?

Because I like him. I want him to get a dog. I just don't know you should get a big dog. Why? Zipper. Because you can't handle a big dog. Zipper, pull up, pull up the photo.

I put the group chat. Can't handle all that dog. What are you gonna misbehave and you're gonna... What do you guys think of that? What is that the movies? This is that the movies. This is that AMC. Two dogs?

What were you watching? Is this not too far? Is this one battle after another? Is this not too far? That's a three hour movie. I'm not joking. Can someone tell me what it's... So, it's popcorn?

We're looking at a picture. I see, okay, this is what I see. I see a hand like this. That's right. With a watch on it. Yep. And it looks like the hand is missing the popcorn bowl that's behind it.

It's just walk. You're actually right. You're actually right. You're actually right. It's not, it's hitting something else. I see two popcorn bowls. No. No. No. It's It's somebody with a Fitbit. They're reaching into a candy bag, which looks like Harribo candy. And then behind them there's a popcorn bowl another person. And then like four people back is somebody with two dogs. There's a dog in this. There's two dogs. You should go. Just go walk up to it. That's not how his eyes work. Oh, I see it. Okay. One is like on the left and one's like, is it's insane. Is it like behind a black thing? Yeah. Yeah. It's insane. It's, it's one dog on. They're both facing the same way. It's one dog and then a carrier and then another dog on the laps or in the seats

with like two people in the theater. Is this not too far? Hold on. Is it not too hard? Clarifying question. Yeah, that's yours. I might have the same one. Did it, did it bark?

I don't know. Did it bark? What do you mean? You don't know. The answer is it, oh, you weren't there. I wasn't there. Who was there? Zipper three.

Zipper three. And did zipper three say the dogs are barking? Ask. Let me ask you a question, Aidan. Is it appropriate to bring slime to a movie? I'm a dog. I'm your dog. Is he dressed like this? I think slime? I think I would argue I'm more disruptive than those dogs were.

That film probably. That's unquestionable. So why don't you complain about me? Take me an officer. Hey, how about you arrest him, put him in the dog pound. Make me sit on the lap with those dogs. Oh, the dog's in the lap probably, huh? Yeah, that's Abner over there. What did I do?

That's Abner. They got in trouble. You know, he's in high school, you know, where the bad dogs go. What if they didn't, what if they didn't make any noise? Which I don't know if they did or did not, but they were smelly. If they're smelly, then that would be a problem. What if a man was smelly? Yeah, that would also be a problem. If they disturb any of the senses outside of the eyes, because I don't believe that is the real thing.

Then, yeah, they shouldn't have brought them. I think, look, it's kind of weird they brought them. But I also get it. I would bring swibbed to the movie. I would. You bring Swibb. You shouldn't bring If the theater said

If the theater said you're allowed to bring dogs I would bring Swift every time Swift's letterbox review That was really scary And I pooped on the ground In there while I would put Swift in a t-shirt Canon if I saw

In the movie What's the hell? I'd say it to his face He's gonna listen You literally know that motherfucker up, dude. He fussed so far. I think it's a good question. Did the dogs disrupt anything?

And if they do once, then yeah, it's really cringe. They didn't make any noise. But all, okay. And here's the thing. It's also up to the movie theater, right? Like, I don't, I would never blame the person. Because this is not like bringing, like, okay, QD made fun of me because we went to the movies.

And I brought a soda from home. You sneak it? I brought a soda pot from home. I put in my pocket, yeah. I feel like we don't have to. I think that's made up I think it's like an old thing Like I think that you can bring food

In the movies now No I don't think you can be like a Like a like a like a It's easier now to do it than ever It's like season three It's the brown bag of crime Right like you can't It's an agreement

It's like yeah we're all sneaking But if you start doing it openly Now someone has to say something Now my boss saw me not do anything Yes I have no yeah Especially if you get egregious right So I put it in my pocket

And she was like You can just get a soda there And I was like, I was like, I'm not paying $4 for that. And so I brought my own soda. And she was, and she was you know, but you can't do that with two dogs. You can't put the dogs in your back pocket.

These dogs were openly obvious and the seven to say anything. Yeah, if I can bring two dogs into the movie theater and I'm not with my boys, but I can I can't bring gushers. I'm saying that should be on the AMC to be like, hey, you can't bring these dogs

in here. What is this Albania? You should have to feed them the nachos on the ground. The dogs should have to buy tickets, I think. I do agree with that. It's like a baby seat. I don't think the dogs hit tickets. What are you got going on under that? Hey!

Oh, Eric. We're both women of the cloth! Yes, and I'm your mother. We're both of the women in the cloth. Abedignale just wants to know how it all works. What? Teacher.

Avinnell, you're disgusting. You and tell me anything. What age do women get periods? Depends. It depends. It depends. Yeah. It's fucking not.

R and G. Shoot me with a range then. I think it could be as early as fucking like, it could be as early as 11. Yeah, it's a praise. Swear, by the way. No, is a swear. Not when talking about the human female body. You are the worst.

I like this. When describing horror, when it's in the human body, periods are a form of horror. Like they were a curse from the Lord. Yeah, they were a curse on the women. What is the curse for women? Because they ate the apple?

Eve ate the apple. And so they were cursed with, with a, with a tenuous. nine-month childbirth with labor. That's painful. And she had to watch her sons kill each other. Because before they would just

pop out. Easy. Yes. The dude's writing the Bible. So then why does birth hurt? Women probably fucked that up. Yeah, they made a big mistake. They probably deserved it. They probably deserved it was on them. Your spot on, I think.

Yeah, what is this? Why do you, sometimes you go into Jeopardy Quiz mode and then we answer and then when it's like oh that was wrong sometimes you flop sometimes it's right sometimes you flop and i like when you flop i don't understand i like when you're in your flop era i'm never in my flop era really yeah really i want to watch you play minecraft because that'll be your flop era you're in your flop era i was in my flop era when i was losing at minecraft that everyone treated me like you i think he'd be good at that everyone treated me like slime yeah but you

know what the difference is i had the whole Minecraft community in my chat i had the best runners in The world watching me. Dude, he'd be a Minecraft coin flipper. And I'm gonna hit to be like the dopest ever. Coin flipper. I wouldn't want a coin flip. Like, he'd be like, oh man, I really need like gravel. I'm just gonna walk that way.

I'll coin flip. Like, you know what I mean? Everything would just be chance. He wouldn't use any info. I hate the, I hate losing progress. In Minecraft, it hurts too much. But it was reset. I don't like it.

Resetting sad because you need to make a wooden pick again and nothing sucks more than making a wooden pick. Punching the trees. But I was gonna say, like, you may have been a big lull. that everyone, that the world was laughing at. Yes. Yeah.

But then you have like viewership that's pretty good. Yes. And that's got to feel kind of nice. What's funny is, but that doesn't affect you because you did have viewership. Oh, it doesn't affect me. And then you would get mad about that. Yeah, yeah, I would get mad. But I'm talking about you.

You would get mad. Where it's like, there's got to be conflicting feelings there. No, I'd rather just succeed. You rather just succeed. Yeah, whatever. I get viewers all the time. Sure, sure. I can get them.

I can lose them. You get them and lose them. They come and they go. They come and they go. Some things. Yeah, but that's what I'm saying. I can get them whenever I want them. If I really want them, if you really want viewers, you can get them?

If I really want them, I can get them. You give me viewers by 3 o'clock. I can give you viewers by 3 all day. Okay. That I'll have viewers by 3 today. All right, I like that. I like that confidence. Anyway, yeah, you keep tempting me.

I don't think I'm going to be tempted by you. I'm on the train, boy. I'm not going to tend to by you. I want to see you fly. I think, I think what's throwing me off about Anthony right now is you look, you look exactly like a guy who's I have seen play bass at like a coffee shop

like you're you're a real guy right now what are you talking about like this I know it's a costume yeah I play Jason Maraz so many guys do you dress like this yeah and they play instruments

thank you guys all for coming I'm sorry about the smell welcome to Glendale Galleria I'll show my monkey today you might smell and balking around. I play the piano in the airport all shitty. Dude. I suck at it really bad.

They had some good bands. I went to San Francisco airport. They had some good bands playing. And that's got to be the worst gig of all time. I hate the airport band stuff. Dude, I feel bad for that gig. I went to the, I think it was Dallas when I did the Hitch thing. And it was, they had literally a stage and a band play.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was so weird. It's like a show. A few, quite a few airports have it. I mean, isn't that most people making money doing music? It's like you're just doing... You want consistent gig, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Like, I think the airport gig is specifically worse than like a bar gig. We played the airport. No, that's what I don't think... I bet that probably pays more. You think it pays more? If you want to be a musician, you need consistent work, and the airport is probably more consistent. You're saying SFO's like, we got budget.

Yeah. Yeah. Let's get Mumford and Sons that aren't racist. It's not Mumper and Sons. Yeah, let's get those. I'll say that. It's, you know, it's bumpered in buns. Yeah.

I bet most, like, mid-tier bands are psyched when they get an SFO contract. We should start a band, y'all. Let's do it. I'll play the piano. You would not play the piano. You quit on that dream, bro. Who's our frontman? Who said I gave up on the dream?

You're our frontman? Who said I gave up on the dream? I'm sexy frontman? I'll play the piano in the back. You can't sing. He can sing. I'm sorry. Guitar drums.

But he can sing. He'll do. He'll do the Zach Ephron. Oh. He'll lip sync it. He'll get the chin surgery. And I'll hit the rest from the back. No, not that.

What? He'll lips. He said the chin surgery. No, what you said? I said. What do you hit what from the back? I'll hit the, I'll hit the notes from the back.

How's that not in the back? How's that dress not coming off? I'm Sharpay. I'll hit the notes from the back. Take that dress off. How is that crass? I want to be Sharpay. Sharpet, okay.

Sharkoutery. It's a beautiful name for a little girl. So we bring back the Rockathon. This time, Not for a good cause. For a bad cause. I would love a bad cause. For a bad cause.

The Rockathon live from Tel Aviv. The Rockathon, let's end tetanist shots. Yeah, the Rockathon, let's bring disease back. Yeah. This is good. The plague. The Rockathon, start the fires, Ian. Send the plague hounds.

The Rockathon, all proceeds go to the Fear and Patreon. Oh, dude, that's like you lose the bet of your whole life. lifetime. If we have to do that? Oh my god. The Rockathon. That would physically hurt me. That would be the most physical pain I'd ever be in. Worse than the arm break. To raise money. I'd rather have my arm broken twice. Would you take the Riyadh money before you raise money for Fyrein? You take the Riyadh money. You spend it, you do something with it. How did the Rockathon not get nominated for the stream rewards? That's a good question. What would be nominated for? The event. Best event ever. Best streamer of the year? No, but instead it was

streamer game. Best streaming duo? Yeah. It was the... Oh, that was better. It was the most controversial streaming. I can't believe you guys agree, yeah. Better than not. Yeah, oh. That was better not. That sucks. We didn't have anyone revealed to be a Red Bull athlete at the Rockathon.

You know why? It was about rock. It was just about rock. It was about brands. It wasn't about marketing. It was about Rock. And Young Gravy was there. It was about Young Gravy singing somewhat confusingly. It was young. It was young Gravy was in we had to cut him off.

Spending a bit too much time on camera as well. He confused me with the way he was singing. And he was invasive a little bit. Yeah, it was, we just met him. It was about that. My name's baby no money. It wasn't about Red Bull. You can tune in this January.

We're going to be doing it again. We're going to have Young Braveie back. We're going to have Freakazoid. They're going to have a mug off. We're going to have Freakazoid singing Fat Bottom Girls. He's like, I hate the soft. He's like, I hate the saw if I can't be around the works. Why would you, why would it be like this?

Why would you prefer skinny girls? Skinny IG models? Maybe the song should be about. Are we gonna do that again? This year? Why not? Let's do it, man. We just need a good...

But no, we don't need a good cause. Let's just do it for profit. Okay. The Rockathon for profit. Does that be so funny. The Rockathon for profit. We are the charity. Yes.

Why not? Guys, last year we raised a ton of money. And honestly, I think we should just keep it this time. And we were thinking about how awesome it would be if that money was our money. And we have no cause we're going to put it towards and no project either.

No cause, no project. It's just in our pockets. Instead of for the fires, if we get the money, we'll set ourselves on fire. Like a monk. Like the monks. Like the protesting monk.

Dude, self-immolation. I couldn't. Self-immolation. I'm from a fragmented nation of people complacent. Wait, I can keep going. Stop looking over. You do this thing.

It's like a kid hitting their head of the coffee table and you look over to see if it's okay. You did one line and then you exhale like black thought and play cell. Yeah,

nine minute black thought freestyle. Wait, that was a good freestyle. Selfimilation. Selfimilation. I'm emulating games from different places. If we do the rock in them, we actually should have a battle wrap segment. Oh my.

That would be great. Battle rap segment. But like good battle rap, not us. But like not me. Oh, we get too real battle rap. Nick versus a real guy. Yeah, it'd be sick. Me versus Roan from Barstool.

Get me in there. I'll take Nick down. I would take Nick down in a battle rap. You had bars in the car. I remember. I like to play PlayStation. In BattleRap, if you guess their bar while they're rapping it, it's a reverse disc mid-round.

My mother comes from a pedophile nation. That sounds like a like a four. It's like a fort minor earlier. Pedophile nation. My parents are married and their cousins, it's scary. I got one eye that's droopy. Drupy and scary. I got one eye that's droopy.

I feel a little loopy because my parents are cousins. Oh, and my poop is mad soupy because I'm not a homeless person with an AK-47 was here to take care of you. They would never have a Russian. made weapon. I wish they were here. You're kidding me? I wish they were here with the Gilel then.

I don't think the Gile, well, yeah, sure. I... We can play rap hero instead of guitar hero. What's rap hero? Oh, is it, no, rap hero, that's a game. I don't know. Look up rap hero, or maybe it's called... This is a game.

It came with a mic. Is it on D.S? And you would rap. It was only rap songs. Rap hero. Not that one. It's just, it's just the same part of rock band. It's just...

No, it's called rap something. Def Jam Raptor? Yeah, that one, that one, that one. It's a Def Jam game. Roll down. You scroll down. Look Def Jam Raptor. Dude, I loved Roeph Jam Rapser and look up images.

It's on the right. Click the thingy. And yes, the game makes you say it. Def Jam Raptor. Yeah, this game. Wow, that's epic on Xbox 360. It comes to the mic and you have to wrap all these songs. Is the game crass?

Can you curse? Oh, yeah, if you're white, it's crass. We should do a couple of these, like different rhythm, like. Yeah, we could do DJ Hero. Slopware games. This one, you're rock band. We got to start.

How did DJ Hero work? You got a turntable and it has buttons on the, on the turntable. And then there's a guy who goes, yeah, boy, check this out. Check this out. I hated DJ Hero.

I remember where I was in the, I was in eighth grade or freshman year, maybe. I was in college freshman year. I do love when you do that. Yeah. He's always like, I was in the third grade and you're like, I was 47.

I was a little babe out of diaper. Can someone read that to me? TIL about Def Jam Rapster, a 2010 rap karaoke game that causes developers to be sued for $8 million because it did not get the rights to the songs in the game. That's a risky gambit. That's just an idiotic move. Wait if they sold enough to beat out $8 million.

I think that $8 million is probably based off how much they made as well, right? We get them their money back. That's the worth of money. Let's get them their money back today. Def Jam. We're raising money to the Def Jam. genuinely real question, how, what are the odds of us being able to get Fat Joe at the Rockathon? Almost none.

None? No. It's not none. That's not none. That's not known. Yeah, but we're still famous, baby. Let's get Fat Joe in here. To do a song? That kind of attitude is why we'll never meet Fat Joe. I would love to be mad.

He costs between 75K and 300K depending on various factors. Yeah, you know what it turns out? It's not that expensive. I mean, relatives. It is expensive. Relative. Like, money. buys a lot of acts. You can get Rowan Atkinson on a Zoom call for 10K. I look this up. You can get

you can get Rihanna to perform for 20 million. Yeah, yeah. Drake would do like Bar Mitzviz and shit. Yeah, she's expensive. That's, she's expensive. There's no way of getting around that. No, she's expensive. Yeah. But you could probably get Mumford and Sons for cheap. Well, you keep to bring them. No, I love them.

They're so good for the Amish. They're not cheap. They're still No, they're cheap. They're not like a washed band that like isn't it's Mumford and something we get like two Hollis to do us like jeans Two Hollis? Yeah Two Hollis

We get two I could head up two No you wouldn't hit up two I'd hit up two We would hit up too Y'all don't know two like I know two You don't know anything about two I know a lot more about two than y'all know about two

Two All right When you play Minecraft and you find the Ender Dragon and it's like And I'm like I can only think of the two Hollis That's what the song is. That's not what it's from.

It is. No. He sampled Minecraft directly. Yeah, yeah, but he didn't sample anything that I played. What are you talking about? He sampled the firework when you're using an Elytra. I think that the sound at the end of dragon is the firework sound chopped and screwed. Nope.

It sounds almost identical. Do you hear me what I'm saying? Nope. He says no, and he's playing. Look up Elytra, Firework Minecraft. That's the 22nd best player in the world.

And it goes, two. It goes two. And they go, Look at a flash Yeah Yeah Ludwig if I beat your

Minecraft time Why do you laugh like that Why do you laugh insinuating What he said was done Because it's like Why did your laugh have baggage Why is it still going If I beat your Minecraft time

Is you going tell him Wait is you going tell him Bessah Would you Would you play again to beat me Or would you not care Okay Oh

The day Did you hear that noise Nick Did you play that sound just randomly whatever he wants. So that's the noise. That's the firework. Yeah. I'm not saying it's not,

I agree with that, yeah. But that doesn't come on my run. Because you have to beat the end and you need to go to the end. I think I'm saying there's another sound in the game. I think is that sound that is like made longer.

You can't see me, but I'm wagging my finger and no. I definitely cannot see you. Is that what that is? Yeah, yeah. I'm playing today. For what? Why are you playing again?

Because I'm getting coached by Feinberg. I'm going to get a sub 30. so like I sub 30 minutes By the time you beat the game I'm gonna have like a sub 20 run I'm asking Abingnail Feinberg I'm asking you if it happened

Would you care? Yes but it will never happen Abagnale Because I'm telling you you have not You don't know how to beat the game No how do you beat the game You beat the Ender Dragon Yeah but like how do you get there

You gotta get the blaze rods And then the under pearls And then it tells you were stronghold as you need 12 of them Okay so you kind of know the rough schematics Abignale feels like you might be forgetting the last time that you two had a little spat like this mother and father. Yeah? For what?

Yeah. Abingnail? It was about eating Speak your mind Abingnail now! It was about eating hot dogs. It was about eating hot dogs. Oh yeah. And you got son. And your attitude remains the same. I did son, you're crazy. It reeks of having not learned from past mistakes. To be clear, this is different.

Because I played the hot dog simulator. I'm sure you've eaten a lot of hot dogs in your life too. Yeah, but okay here's thing. Here's thing. Chopped up with milk basically every morning. I think more hot dogs than you've done full to completion Minecraft rights. Yeah, 100%. I've had so many hot dogs. I eat one a week. I saw

Nathan's hot dog at an airport and I almost fucking cracked on it. I buckled. I buckled because honestly I was like it was seven bucks and I just thought it would be bad. I thought I'd be disappointed so I didn't eat it. You have to stay bulk to not sit on father's lap. Instead I had a bear bell bar.

I don't think this is the same because I think it would genuinely take you 50 hours to beat the game hardcore Really? 50 all in? What a disgusting thing to tell me? Oh, you're just saying like a total time and that's the first time he'd beat it.

Yes, and by the time you do that, I think I will have put in enough time for speed running that like you'll be too demoralized to even attempt. Yeah, I mean you're getting trained by like, you did the same thing with Lee. You always get trained by experts. This is his witch, her, this is her witch magic. Yes.

Her witch Ludwig magic, where she confidently says that you could never do it after, after planting the idea that you should stream this for the past week, and then now insisting that you, you aren't even capable. But he's dissuading me because he's saying that if I, like, get a time, he'll already be so far ahead from learning from experts like Dinkleberg. I mean, even ignoring learning from Feinberg. not Tinkleberg, Feinberg.

Like, you know, I already know the strats because you, you, you, you, F3 pie chart,

you're dropping your, your, uh, your render distance to two block, okay? You're trying to find yourself a chest at a,

at a buried treasure chest. You get like 20 wood blocks. You get shears. You cut down the trees. This doesn't, none that sounds hard. Am I crazy? You go to,

you go to a ravine in the ocean to build another portal through magma. No, none of it is hard. It's just, knowledge and I have but you don't think he just learn the knowledge like fast I learn really good I don't think that's how slime does stuff

I don't think he like you don't think he'd commit to the learning process yes I don't think he like learns I don't I think he like keep keep keep talk I think all of it I think he just kind of plays unless I'm learning I don't really know that happened you don't haven't seen me on blotcher bro you learn on blotcher I heard of You watch Dr. Spector? I heard him death slam the other day playing Blasdra. I'm like, maybe the first guy to do that. Would you fucking click straight and a flush?

I miscalculated. What can you do? What can you do? I love a miscalculation in a game like that. But yeah, look, is there an appetite on this world for a 35-year-old guy who looks like this? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Playing Minecraft.

I think actually exclusively. I think we've seen too many young people play the game. Right. I think it's exciting because I think your knowledge of Minecraft probably because it's probably like when we played on a server. Yeah, it's from a long time ago. Yeah, the last time you were playing, you were playing, and you're like, dude, there's a fox.

And I was like, that's crazy, there's foxes in the game now. Yeah. It kind of has the same appeal as all the old wow streamers going, picking up ruinscape. It'll be like an event. Like you finding a treasure bastion, you're going to lose your mind. You're going to lose your freaking mind. No, that is.

I'm freaking out of it is. I would just love to see that. Ignore the try to beat me whatever. I mean maybe if your first time is sub 153 then I would never you have to you I would hold that forever Will you eat your shoe? What will you eat your shoe? Would you suck it from the back? Yeah, I would do that well the episode's over It's that not infraction It's an infraction. It's over so it doesn't matter the episode's over the episode's over Oh P

Oh jeez Put your monkey away Oh my gosh Oh my god, abing nails getting your monkey No no Abing nails Let's not watch your monkey Archie, Archie, he's the biggest sensor.

There's a massive sensor. Censor the smell, too. Actually, can you put a green stink line? Put a stink line. Put a stink line. Do you wear the Aven underwear, too. All right, everybody. Hey, thanks for listening to the yard.

Put a stink line and then put a dog floating down the stink line. Ew. Non-crass episode. I hope you enjoyed. All right, y'all. Goodbye.