The Yard - Ep. 230 - The Yard Global News Channel

Episode Date: December 17, 2025

This week, the boys talk about what would happen if the yard was the only channel left in the world, Aiden nearly not being part of the yard, and how Slime has found a new hobby... Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

All right. So I got shot down immediately this idea. I'd like to bring it to the audience. Okay. That's not how we're doing this show. What do you mean? No, because you guys are a fucking problem. I'm not a problem. All three, yeah. All three? All three? All three? What if I... I know what this is about. What is it about? I know what it's about.

Because I didn't get to show it to the Primo. And you guys were very fucking rude. I would argue if you watched the Primo, you'd think that someone else was actually more rude. I would argue that the men who followed Hitler's orders were just as bad as Hitler. Maybe worse. I would argue that... Does he get to be Hitler if I agree? He's Hitler, yeah.

Let's go. Yeah. I'm Hitler? Yes. I'm Hitler. Yes. Oh, you're Hitler.

What did I do? No, I thought Hitler was... Was zipper? No. No. Kelly. Okay, no. And that's exactly the fucking thing

that I find it disgusting is that you guys use this podcast. By the way, all these guys, all these guys, all these guys fucking charlatan millionaires. And they take... I'm not even close.

I'm not even close at all. They take working class stories from in there. And they come in here and they lambast them and they have no recourse. Kelby makes more money than we do. They have no.

Tell me has more money and makes more money. I've done a lot of things. I never masturbated anybody. Just because he has no, just because he has better financial sense than you guys. The issue is that we waste too much of it. Yes. Because you're blowing it on

a lemonade stand island. that they're working on. It's small right now, but they're adding more dirt. Anything goes. Anything goes on the lemonade. You're given a ridiculous amount of random people

and also burning it, I think, to keep warm. Yeah. He burns it to keep warm and buys fresh towels that can't be washed. And that is most of his money.

And you buy new black clothes every day. Well, they get sun damaged and they turn gray. And no one... These are actually all old. I couldn't. This was at slime sauce for two years.

If you told me he was distressed, I would believe it too. What if I told you I was distressed? Would you fucking call me or show up or would you do fucking anything for me? I would be like... What if I told you that I was fucking sad and I was full of anxiety? Let's run to this scenario. That like Zoloft did nothing about. Like what if I told you that I was working on a new fucking product that I wanted to sweet the nation?

A vibe coded app. It's a vibe coded app that I thought was going to change the youth. Dude, we're... What are the hell are you even? laughing about me. What if I told you I just got promoted at my new job? And it wasn't, it wasn't really the most exciting thing you heard that day. But I told it to you because you know what? I thought you were the only person who would show me love. Give it a shot. Try telling me for real. Tell him you got a 30 cent raise. Try telling me some shit for real.

See how I fucking respond. Hey, Ludd. What up? I'd tell you something. I know it's like not like a big you know. Yeah. Congrats on Dark Souls, by the way. It was a really cool stream. Appreciate that. I made a bunch of money. Speaks and you look pretty close. Um, close to I thought it was Eldon Ring this morning. Closer than us. I got a promotion today, actually. My job. Oh, so I looked down for a second.

Have you been on the phone the whole time or just the end? What part should I repeat? That's cool. Yeah, so I was saying, I was saying it, I, um... Dude. You catch any of that? We should fucking record if we talk to each other. and monetize it?

Yeah. Oh, man. Scene, how did you feel? How was that for you? I went about how I thought, oh, you're good, you're good. You got it going there. Because it was believable for me.

Yeah, it's actually, the truth is, it's like a Truman show. You know, whoa, what's real? What's not? I'm inside this Matrix right now. What's the show? What isn't? Can I tell the people my idea?

Like, okay, can you? You're going to ruin it. You want to talk about it. He has an idea that he wants to tell. Does it involve somebody in there in their working class stories? You cannot say, working class stories.

They're working class stories. The proletariat. In the other room. The proletarian. And the bourgeoisie comes out here to laugh at with their squid game fucking freaks. Here's my suggestion.

Again, and if you don't like it, crucify me. hang me up on a cross and nail my hands there and watch my little penis laugh. We're not going to do that. We're going to shoot you in the skull. You're going to shoot me in the skull. Yes. No cross. Well, that's what

it would have happened in Jesus. Because we already did that with Aiden and I didn't love that. Oh, you didn't love it? No, I didn't like when we put him on the cross. Mike, okay, my idea was that we fill up a series of condoms or latex gloves with rolled up money, rolled up bills.

And we make, uh, Yingling swallow it like Maria full of grace. Yeah, and he has to butt swallow too. No, no, no, he has to normal swallow because it can't go up. Yeah, and I would, I would usually say yes, Yingling, you have to butt swallow. Anything can go up. But, so it's like Maria full of grace, and he's just eating money. And then we traffic him to a different country.

And then we have to get the money out. Which he thinks he's going on the freeway. And we cut him open to get the money out. Yeah, we got to cut him open to get the money out. I feel like you had one rule I feel like you had one rule and he kind of drove right through it That was his working class story

That's his life that he leads He does that He does that He doesn't do anything He's probably done what you're saying I wish Imagine Ben once made him traffic money

For some reason just for fun The boys in Arizona We're like, hey, English. Thinking of a full butt wash. Yesterday, I was recording with Alex, and we were playing monitor for two, like the campaign, and there's a fake restaurant

called Taco Taco in the restaurant. And I looked at it in game, and I said, Taco Taco, and I'm not kidding, in real life, immediately, I had explosive diarrhea, and I had to stop and say, I'll be right back.

I'm so sorry, and I stood up, and I ran to the bathroom, and it was violent. Really? And it was crazy. Did you shit yourself? No, I was very, very, very,

very close. And then I immediately, after I went to the bathroom, I messaged slime. And I said, I said, I just took a dump that could only be described as sour. That was what it was. Wow. It was crazy.

That was what it was. Right when I looked at it, I was like, oh my God. And I ran. And I sat down. And it was, it was immediately, it was already in the cheeks. And then it was horrible. You had no signs before that? Nothing. It was the moment I looked at Taco Taco. Boom. See, you know what this is? What's that? This is your body angry at you.

what exactly? I don't know. You did something bad to her. It is a her because famously, and here it's her story out there, it's his story. So I don't really care what the working class people are doing. I'm going to bring my truth to this show. You do something bad to your body and your body hides your poop from you to punish you? Hides it?

Yes. Oh, then it reveals it to you in the time where you curse the most. Well, we could do something I don't think I've done. We can do something good to your body. We can make your body feel swell. Because you guys know what day it is. Oh my God. God, bro.

He is so obsessed. I, he is so obsessed. You know what day is? It's, Chubby Cattle Monday. It's Chubby Cattle Monday. Yeah.

And Chubby Cattle Monday where I want to go to dinner with my friends. You know it's disgusting about Aidan's because he cornered me at his housewarming. He had a house farming party.

He cornered me and he goes, it doesn't have to be chubby cattle. And I said, well, what the fuck is it then? Like, what the fuck is Monday? If it doesn't have to be that. Chubby Cattle Monday, it's about the spirit.

Aiden? Of chubby cattle. I'm in. He's just being contrarian. He doesn't care. He wants to go. It's not contrarian. Doesn't that make you want to go? He just wants to be special. If I go and do the activities, that's still contrarian? If it's in the face of those who don't want to, then yes. I've been begging. And you guys refuse me at every turn. Even Christian said no. Even Christian said no. Even Christian said he didn't want to go. Christian does not like you. Yeah, Christian doesn't like you. That's Christian to be fair. What do you mean to be fair? Christian don't really play like that. Christian fucks with me. Yeah, he fucks with you, but you don't fuck with you like that. He fucks with you like in the way you fuck with your. He fucks with you like in the way you fuck with your. He fucks with your.

boss like yeah boss and then you go outside smoking cigarette you're like hey bud yeah come on out to dinner yeah no i can't and i just you breathing over his shoulder going i got chubby cali think me looking at all of my friends in the room excluding nick who had left hours before and turning to each person and being like so you guys want to go and then watching everyone refuse just look away from you just look at their phones or like the the side of a couch just looking for anything interesting like you just scrolling the weather app whoa if you would To L.S. Cabal, would that happen? If I asked the L.S. Cabal.

Yeah, what would happen? No, they're not going. Well, that's what I'm curious about. Hell, no, they're not going. I don't think they'd go. Dude, can I bring up something? So, Atrioc, I saw him at the housewarming. And I was asking how...

What is this fucking housewarming? I'm not at no fucking housewarming. Oh my God. You were invited. I didn't get a fucking invite. I didn't get a fucking go. You knew you were invited. I was not invited fucking...

Don't even jest. I wasn't jesting. You were jested. We had a whole. conversation about how you probably can't go because of the dark soul. I don't think anything the Crimson Bloor has ever been invited to, you weren't invited to. That's not true.

I'm pretty sure you were. No, I'm sure there's some sort of like Iranian gathering that. I was invited to those. Oh, never mind. I was Shabs plus one. The Persian Christmas? Yes. I asked him how things were and he's like, I'm uploading a video a day. And I was like, damn, video a day, that's crazy.

And a couple of minutes went by and I really thought about like, damn, a whole video a day. I just said it out loud, I was like, damn, a video a day. And I don't know why, I swear, I said it like this. I was like, a video a day, damn. Like to yourself? No, out loud. I said out loud.

But like, were you talking to Blur at the time? I was talking to No, Atchrock. Like, he was next to me. I kind of just said it as like, we were in a lull. Oh, I'm sorry, you're talking to A-Rad not Blur. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I was also like, damn, Blur's off blending a video a day. Good for him.

I said, I was like, damn, video a day. I don't know why. Maybe you can explain your man's. he immediately pulls up his YouTube and starts showing me how many views they all got because he thought it was a dig he thought I was making fun of him

and I was like So he's like as well a pussy mugs He was like really good and I'm like Why are you showing me that? I believe you And he's like because you're like fucking the way you said You're fucking making fun of me And I'm like no I'm not I was like complimenting you

He's fucking he loses his mom I'm like imagine the opposite of what I said Damn one video in a year Like that would be an insult Like I'm like saying damn It's a lot of I think this is the relationship You have formed with him No he's a whipped dog

He is a whipped dog And no one has whipped him more than you That was so I was like Me or Nick you looked at me No it's this obviously you You whipped them I've whipped him yes yeah You whipped him

Etriac? Of course Well I've whipped him Yes I guess I have two because now I can say that And so now you go Hey dog And the dogs every time you go go, flinching crazy.

I kept doing that during the marathon squeaks. I'd go like this and he wouldn't flinch and I'd be like, look, I don't hit him guys. I will say Eritrake came, he was at the office and then I had finished getting to gold and he's like, hey man, you're gold, race to gold streams are really good. And I'm like, you didn't even fucking watch.

You don't even care. You watch one fucking two minute clip of it and you said you watched it. And then he got cornered And he starts, he starts doing that thing where he's just like, I mean, I be, I'm a baby, abe, I'm a baby, baby, baby, and I Stop, stop, stop. You said the thing he does. He's never done that. Why did you turn into porky pig?

Please, Aidan, please back me up here. He does that thing a little bit, but that's, that's not the point. That's not the point. Sometimes you can get him to turn into porky pig. I withdraw, because this is not ultimately a working class story. But his stories, you can defame. I see. Right.

The champion of the working class. No, I'm saying, you can defame him. Right, but that's what you're saying. You're the champion of the working class. I fight for them. The champion. You fight for them. Champion of the working class. Guy who played video games for a week straight.

He just plays Dark Souls for seven days. And do you know how many working classers were protected by that? Protected? Yes. Okay. What were they protected from? I think that's beautiful, man. I cast touch of death.

Really? Okay. Oh, it's touch of denial. I don't kill them. Right. I was going to say. Yeah, I lost the name. And then what?

Did he prove you right? He basically was like, all I tried to do was give you a compliment. And I said, I didn't fucking ask for a compliment. So it was kind of funny. Yeah. Because it was like, no. Sorry he did all that to you. I learned his word.

So when I was sorry, he said something nice. Yeah. It's just that I know. It sounds stressful. He could have just said you got to gold. Like, not he said he was trying to say like, Oh, you come for me. You did it.

I don't think he was trying to say that. And it's like, it felt condescending. I think to the story, it sounded like he was doing that. Right. Thank you. You're like, finally. I was going to my damn side of it. I was there when this happened.

It didn't. It's, you were there? His recreation of this is not going like this. You come for me. Yeah. And that's probably really demeaning. You come for me. And then I was like, listen.

And I ripped off his two. pay and I said, don't fucking talk to me and I'm holding like a dead rat in my hand. Sorry, hair system. And, um, yeah, so I get it. What I'm saying is,

I get it. Yeah. I get what you're saying. I get what you guys are saying. I get it. So in conclusion, they would encode a chubby cattle. Yeah,

I thought we were really, we were distracting from the fact that he had asked us again. I'm going with you, dude. You're going with me? Today we're going to have dinner. Today, you and Pookie.

Oh, no, no, no. Oh, oh, oh, he has to entertain Pookie. That's why he said everyone's welcome at Chubby Cattle Monday. Oh, bro. Do you think Chubby Cattle Monday

isn't Cattle Slop? It is Cattle Slop, but you, I saw this whole interaction. I watched your stream quite a bit this week. I saw the whole interaction. Fuck you, by the way. I want to add something.

When you said yes to go in my immediate thought of asking you was, I was like, Ludwig, do you think you ever say yes to stuff because you think the plan will fall through? But then socially you get to get away with having said yes.

And the next time you could say no? I don't think I've ever done that. I was going to ask that question because, you know, why? because it's coming from a place of like, why did he say yes? And now I know the reason. You know the reason.

No, I know the reason. And there is a reason outside of I would just like it. And he also doesn't need to schedule a Monday experience. Well, hold up. I would go with him next money too. You know what you're doing? Oh, tell me. You're not down to go.

So you're trying to drive a wedge. They're trying to drive a wedge. No, I technically already said yes. I am. I'm an auto. Yes. I actually said yes multiple days ago. So we're all in.

No, no, no. I am trying to drive a wedge and I'm not trying to. You're 100% correct. Fuck. Okay. Yeah. All right.

Well, one for two. Also, what do you say fuck me for? Because you were fucking a cock sucker in my chat. I was not a cocksucker. You're a cocksucker, bro. I would explain one way I was a cocksker at all. You would pop in a chat. You would say Ray Lacey every day.

And then you were backseating me. I was not. You literally backseating me. It's funny. You think I was. I was quoting something someone in the game says, with no context of what you needed to do. Oh, no context. I promise you. It's basically like an area where you use a torch to get mosquitoes away. And then he goes, use the light of Ariendale to torch them

away. That's not it. And he's like, it's a quote. It's like the main dialogue that tells you what to do in the game. To defend myself, it was also the first time I had popped in while you were doing the DLC in Ariandel. And there's a cool quote that you probably didn't listen to because you skipped through everything. And I was just saying it, if you looked through my logs, I was quoting the game the whole time. I was quoting all the time, because I like quoting. Had nothing to do with your dog should gameplay. Or some of your quotes helpful, if they read them?

I don't think so. Most of what he was doing was fucking... I was saying, clear out guys, Lacey's went live. I was like, let's clear out of here. He would say, clear out Laces is live, and then he'd be like, oh my God, haggle rules, and then someone fucking tag him be like, Hagel, Kenon, Fist,

fuck, and then he'd be like, Kenon win. Yeah. And it'd be like some fucking, they like, basically two people who were bit in order to write a journey, who watched too many va-da-d-d-d-d-dial video videos. We were having fun in the chat. I was having fun with the Dark Souls heads. It was really nice. Clear out Lacey's Live is maybe generational.

That might be. And Pookie, by the way, who is so shit at reading chat. I told him, you could see my logs in there. I told them to sing for you probably 13 times. He never did. Yeah, he's not a singer. Or a chat reader, really. No, not in the marathon.

I said something to Ludwig the other day. This is before Pookie was here. I said, hold on me find it. Find it, dude. Also, I remember specifically this love of Lacey came from Nutt. No, I liked them before Nutt.

No. I promise you. Real. I promise. This is Nud, me and Nutt saw the same movie and found out it was our favorite movie. But, like, we didn't,

like, he didn't tell me to go watch, you know, Fight Club and then we liked Fight Club. Lacey is Fight Club. We both liked Fight Club and then we were like, dude, you like that? He put you on a fight club, bro. It's all right. Dude, I brought-

You didn't really get the Lacey thing before that. He's trying to get to me, dude. He said, I told him I was like, I go in a squeaks chat. I say, I fucking love you and respect you, bro. He goes, what's up slime? Keep scrolling. Yeah, what the fuck you want him to

I said he broke my fucking heart bro and then Ludwig said can't be that mushy with immigrants not how we're raised Oh, he said we Were, he said we were not how we are raised He did immediately say I'm an immigrant

Yeah It's enough How we're raised He's too mushy, huh But where are you We're from France You're immigrant from France Ah this makes sense

And we had a great 9-11 win this week dude I watched I got my fed up my timeline last night that a you and Rainbow video oh yeah and it was so cute because like Rainbow has a series

where he like interviews celebrities but in Geogessor and he like nardwars them places of their own life and they're like where the fuck and they realize oh it's from this

did he show you Bucky like how the fuck literally the first fucking location he showed and Ludwig was like where is this it's like so long

that was like actually what I want to bring up was like you don't You, this part, I, I, this part doesn't matter. You forgot the Duke Fico story, like, entirely. It doesn't, it didn't happen that way, but it was close.

But then you were like, where, you didn't remember where Bucky's was. After, like, so many smash camps. I feel bad because Rainbow reached out to me. Oh, it was a good one. That's where he got it. Yeah, I know. He told me. Oh, okay.

But it was good. I, I remembered. I was like, okay, that makes so much sense. Yeah. That makes so much sense. I remembered that it was the casino on the way to smash camp, but, like, geographically, finding it was fucked

if you knew press kit it's like gotta be so easy there's like four fucking roads I was scanning my my shit for like 35 minutes but I eventually got there but yeah I was just I'm glad I all I care of that is it was like a cool moment because it was hard because he's like can you show me a place from Ludwig's

life and I'm like every place is just an old address which is bad yeah yeah it's like so I settled on Bucky you should hit the bageloo Dude, the bagelow... Or like...

Kiala. But I figure Buckees is fun because there's a casino, but other than that... The mountain where I met Tungwa... Bucky's like a perfectly... Oh, what's a good one? Bucky's like a perfectly difficult one, I think. Yeah, it was hard. Well, you're welcome.

You're welcome for making your content back. Thank you, dude. But you also remembered like the... It's funny. The content ones, you were like, boom. Right there. Yeah, those were easy. Because he has a disease. They're also more recent.

Dude, Smash Camp was fucking seven years ago. Well, some of them were, yeah. That one. That one, that memory was seven years ago. Isn't that crazy? Yes, that's so many years ago, bro. That was the last one you went to was the one that went right when I moved in with you.

That was five years ago, right? Yeah, I was it 2019? 2019 was the last one you went to. That crazy, bro, it was so many years ago. Yeah, you're 30. You're 30 and you still FaceTime Jason the Wien for views. Yeah. How old were we all when we all became friends?

2000, for me and you, it was 2000. 2016, probably. 16. I'd say we broke Friend Barrier in the past few years. So I was So Yeah I was 34

Because The number one was 20 or 19 I was 22 Yeah it was just It was like us back then Us becoming friends Way back We didn't fuck we didn't fuck the shoe

It was such a hard cell to get you in the house It was a crazy cell to get you in the house It wasn't crazy cell It was like it was a nice natural fit where it was like, Aiden reached out, and you were all like, yeah, it should move it. It was really tough. We were really not sold on it. Yeah, it was like, what, okay, we actually had a couple of, I remember it.

Like, a couple plans are up with like, what if this guy turns out really fucking, just so annoying? We had some outs. Yeah, we had a way we were going to put you in a container. Outs! We said we put $10,001 in a suitcase. We sent him on an international trip. Uh-oh. That's over the limit.

Uh-oh. Yep, yep. Chopped up, put into a box. Actually, this is a good scenario to run through. I, but. I move it because how it was working is I was going to come down to move at BTS I'd like found a

random house to move into I think I'd message Anthony because I was just messaging a bunch of people I knew in SoCal at the time if I can move in the people How many fucking shots did you put out there? I mean How much seed did you spread? Like four direct shots

That's like a lot of seed to spread That's a lot of seat and then a SoCal melee post Which is a massive that's a buckshot That's a big shot at the time yeah I almost moved in with Gooms Oh my God What a different world. You would have started an empire for him.

They would be running open AI right now. Oh, my God. Actually, a better life for you, Loki. And then you said no, you didn't say no right away. You basically said, like, I'm asking about us maybe moving. And then it didn't look like the timeline was going to, like, line up. I was pushing back. A month later.

There was a lot of Ludwig in the chat being like, I threw up when he asked. And it became, we had to clean it all day. Oh, my God. That was such a smelly day. It was just like in my shoes type of puke. No, I think you were probably so excited and we're unsure of when the lease was in day.

He puke out of my butt. He puke down to his butt. We had to get the hose. I kept saying the Patshouse guy. They had to put me up in the yard like on the wall like this and spray my butt thing. The Patshouse guy who gave you a bunch of money because he was so nice.

That's honestly part of the reason why we said yes. Yeah, we said maybe we can get him drunk more and farm him. He has bread. We can pay our rent with money matches. And I'm about to sign a lease with a group of random people in North Hollywood and commute from

North Hollywood to Covina every day which would have been horrific. It would have been dumb as hell. It would have been dumb. And then a month later, the day I'm going to sign the lease, Nick messages me and says we're actually moving,

move in with us. So what happened there? Tell them what led you to that snap decision. The real? The real story? No. A fake one.

Oh, I don't remember. Because there's a real one is funny. What's the real one? I didn't like Aiden. Nick didn't like me. I was like, oh, Aiden sucks. I was like Aiden sucks as. I don't want to live with that guy. Like really? Yeah. I don't remember this at all. Nate didn't like. And when Dan said he was going to hire Aiden, I was like, oh, don't hire that guy.

I fucking thing. That guy sucks. And I remember I had this moment. We were driving. I was in a car. I don't remember why. I was in a car and I thought about it. I'm like, why do I not like this guy? I remember I didn't have any good reasons. Like all my reasons were like very like, oh, this one time I saw him act in a certain way or like one time he talked me like this. but they were kind of all really weak and I'm like, am I really gonna like prevent this guy from getting a job in a house because I kind of have a reason

I don't like him and I felt so like bad about that that I like went to Dan again I was like hey just ignore everything I said about him I take it back and then I was like also I had heard that you were gonna move in

with like Hollywood with like random people and I was like that would suck like that would suck and so I was like I'm gonna message him yeah and then I went to dance same day and I said dude please Nick's anything

it's a psychosis thing Nick he's been like he took psilocybin he's been like don't listen to anything he said today I'm moving I'm moving and you guys and you guys are gonna move in like a month and find like a bigger house

that's closer to work and we're all gonna live there together but we were I knew I knew you guys I talked to Anthony the most and we weren't really friends yet we weren't even close imagine I move

I move let me tell you this we weren't even close even a little bit In fact, we were enemies. Yeah. I wouldn't say we were enemies. Because there was this part,

there was this time that I farted in front of you. Remember that? It's Smash Summit 7. There's been a lot. Which? Oh, and 7? Smash Summit 7th. Wait, we weren't enemies from that? Well, I considered us from that moment.

Slime farting in front of what is functionally a stranger and then forming a negative opinion about them for how they react. Even though I rolled with it? You weren't my enemy at all. I liked you. I liked you enough. But if I rolled up and I sucked, what was the out?

We had a plan. What was the plan? Do do, do, do, do, do, do, do. Wait, if you rolled up and suck what we do, probably live with you for four years inside a podcast with you. This guy will be a sponge. What do you think you're waiting? I'm the most miserable roommate of all time, two months in.

It's, dude, roommate stuff sucks so bad. Yeah, we just tank it. You come home and we're watching in betweeners in the living room and you're like, oh, you guys are watching all, you're all watching a show together. And we're like, oh, we didn't we tell you. And we slowly just make you feel left out. Yeah, I'd like find out your schedule and it's like,

like, oh, I get home at 645 and it's like, okay, movie starts at 5.30 and then you come in, there's 15 minutes left in the movie. So you'd slowly socially isolating? These movies that I'm picking, it'd be like movies in passing you, be like, oh, dude, I'm really excited to watch like Frozen 2. And so you'd only see the last

15 minutes of it walking in. And we'd be like, bro, bro, bro, this is a big spoiler. You don't watch. You should go to your room. Like, don't watch this part. We all went inside game. And then you go to your room and you return to volume. Yeah, we turn up really loud. And we also fuck with the hinge on your door so it can't really close properly.

And I'm making it squeak. I'm rusting that. I'm rusting in that door. Yeah. And I jerk off. Yeah. And we're jacking off. This is unrelated to you, but I'm jacking off. Yeah. You have jacked off. You would be, presumably you've beat off anyway. No, no, no, I never did it. No, I liked you.

I'd wait for you. But if I was, if I was mad at you, I would jack off. If you were angry, you'd be jacking off more? Yeah, because just you would, you would, it would change the functuary of the house. Dude, I, I, I've told this before, but I, I, every time it hits my memory, it's like a truck, which is where I walked into Ludwig's room once to, like, bother him. He had his green screen up, but he wasn't streaming. I started saying something to talk to him. He's like, I'm jerking off in here, bud.

And then I was like my bad And I closed the door And I feel like The fact that I Cut to OBS, he's like in the outer space Yeah In the finalist edition background Watching hot porn

It was I was like so I was like wop I gave him the white guy Whoop Right past you Yeah, it's beast What are you gonna say? I wasn't actually jerking off then

Really? What were you doing? I was writing a fanfic about me and you And I never wanted you to see it I wish Man, don't fucking tease me with some bullshit that I did. I did my shit, I sat on it so I didn't feel it anymore.

He's getting stupid in the way. Do you think, all right. Could you sit on your penis to not feel it anymore? No. Could you do it that way? I can't get it. How do you sit on your own penis? No, I'm just saying like theoretically,

if you like cut the blood flow, would it tingle like your arm does and you wouldn't feel it? I don't think so. I think so. I don't think so. The penis is made of blood and nerves and tissue like our arms.

If you cut the arm of the man. If you cut the blood flow, then it wouldn't be hard. Yeah. It doesn't need to be hard. How come... So it would just be a soft, fuzzy penis? What if our arms did that, too?

They cut the blow fluff and they, like, they deflate. The more blood you have to every body part that they get really hard. Yeah. They deflate like, yeah. The penis should have bones. Evolution, come on. No, that's so silly. And you can break it.

Well, the bones... You can still break the penis. Yeah, have you ever made it crack? Yeah, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. You've been any cracks before? That's not good. It's not. It's at the very base. What are you making it crack?

No, mine's in the middle. No. I crack it in the middle. You guys never... In the middle? In the middle? What do you mean you crack it? Hey, everyone, down in the comments,

if you're a penis haver, have you ever cracked it in the middle? Any penis crackers? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's like a glow stick. Oh, it's New Year's. It's like a glow in your penis glow.

Yeah. Yeah. Oh, well, I guess I'm a fucking freak that. Yeah, I mean, that's a little freaks. I have a question. Tedden. Yeah, penis cracker. You think Squeaks

Beat nut in your house Beat, beat, he beats... Do you think he beats dick in your house? Jesus, man. I don't think he has time. What was he doing? He had time? After spending the entire day with me, he's exhausted.

And, of course, probably. Entire amount. Well, not yet. His balls aren't drained, though. That's what I'm saying. That's not necessarily true. Pookie's got full balls. That's not necessarily true.

And you're going upstairs to Mrs. Look. after the whole day what we do is we walk in and we go all right 10 45 tomorrow he goes okay

and then fucking off to bed really we guys we were working hard you really I think what is it in that week's stretch maybe coal miners beat us in terms of like

hours worked and strenuous shit the raw labor working hard working hard punching every boss at the front and back at the same time

I would love to watch two Aden's fight Pontiff Sullivan. Playing through a game that has no difficulty when you have an extra person. I would love to watch Aden Fight two of you couldn't be Pontus Sullivan. It was designed as a single player experience for the bosses. Then explain how I died 700 times. It's so easy. That I can't explain. It's like spawning a CPU.

That's really good. Yeah. It's the same thing. It's Mimic Tier. And I still died 700 times. I guess on Pookie Sides is it's Chevin Mimic Tier. 500. How many less?

He was killing himself because you died? Not many. Like 100? You never kill yourself because someone died. But wasn't there time where you guys both wanted

to be there to win the fights so that you both level? Yeah. Maybe like a dozen. Only a dozen. Yeah, yeah. Generally.

Guys, last night, we ate all sorts of awesome just liver and chicken heart at that restaurant, right? So much awesome chicken. But I think I think I, I've secretly I've been eating chicken liver

and heart pretty much every single day. Oh. And I coerced you guys to go to the restaurant. because I wanted you guys to try it. But I think my insides are starting to fail. But cooking has been way too hard for me and I don't think it's possible. So I have a solution. What's your solution? Try dog kibble.

Dog kibble? Yes. On the floor with a bowl. It's cheap but it's I don't like to taste a dog kibble. I don't think cooking at home should always be such bad food like it always is when I do it. I feel like your health goal here is to just not only eat chicken heart and liver and with hungry root that's going to make it way easier to stick down. It's a brand of dog kibble. No kibble. No kibble. No kibble. No kibble. comes with hungry root. No kibble with hungry root, no chicken liver or hearts, as far as I understand. Like kibble and eat it like cereal. You could pour milk into it if you wanted to. Hungry root feels that maybe you just want to make it. Well, and I have a health cool.

Quickly and easily. I'm looking to have protein in my life. Everyone protein. Yeah, that's true. But how do you get protein without eating a heart? That's true because the heart has the most protein. It has the most protein in love. Well, you could eat the other parts of the chicken. Like they have lemon pepper chicken or cilantro with lime rice. No, it doesn't need to be the hard. It could be the normal meat. You could be the normal meat with hungry, brew. That sounds delicious. It doesn't have to be the organ. Sounds good, I guess.

Give me another meal. Give me another meal. You could get black and porkloin and roasted carrots. Oh, a vegetable. It sounds like you could use some vegetables. It actually sounds kind of good, but wouldn't it take like forever to make? No, that's the whole thing. It doesn't take forever to make. It's really quick. Well, let's say you're trying to lose 378 pounds. Every meal is like 15 minutes or less. Where do I go if I want to, if I want to capitalize on this awesome deal?

You need to go to. hungry root.com slash the yard and use code the yard to stop eating chicken liver and chicken hearts. You're saying for a limited time to get 40% off your first blocks plus a free item in every box for life and no hearts are involved in that whole process? You don't need to eat honestly Nick, I don't even need hungry root to stop eating the chicken arts. I'm surprised that this is a problem. Is the free item kibble? There's no kibble. There's no kibble. You can go to hungary root.com slash the yard and use code the yard. That's where you get the deal. I want to see you on all Four is eating kibble out of bowl.

I'm not going to do that. I'm going to make my hungry root meals in 50 minutes or less. Will you eat the hunger root meals that are nutritious and fast to make on all fours? Every day you guys break me down. You break me down further and I bring to you my good ideas.

I bring good ideas with easy meals. And you have, and you bring me insane problems. Now back to the episode. And free item of your choice. I don't want to do it anymore. I love the clip of, there's, you know, when Ludway gets

shows a little raw emotion. Oh my God. When you yoss, the controller. There's a good yoss. Oh, and Black Gulch? Yeah. Yeah. I don't think it was real. I thought it was real at first, and then I realized it was a setup. Most of it's a setup. It was all an act. I don't feel emotions. I'm a Thespian on stage. He's a Thespian. It's a Thespian. It's such an exhausting shit.

A Thespian would have drained his partner's balls. Yep. And who's to say I didn't? Sometimes the camera was off, right? Yes. And they would disappear into the night. Behind the backhouse. I can go Christian Bale on set and I can also go an example of someone who drains balls on set.

I can do both. Marlon Brando. Marlon Brando. Drained every co-stars balls. Is that right? Is your brain like fried? He didn't remember the lines. He read lines off flashcards

that the director had to hold for him and he drained his co-stars balls. That's like the two main Marlon Brando facts. Yeah. Method too. I love that. That's awesome of him to do. Do you think he got the gigs for one of those two reasons? I mean, you have both faces covered.

Oh, you watched the Game Awards. Yes. Why did you... Can I ask? Why did you do that? Why did I watch the game awards? Yeah. On stream, I think, is the essence of what he's saying.

Why? What do you mean? Like, we're in the middle of a Dark Souls marathon. Like, why pause it for the game awards? Like, Okay. It's such a dumb question. I'm like trying to figure out how to answer.

It's like... It's almost as dumb as like, why wouldn't you guys want me to move in? It's like the boss coming in 9-11 and being like, why do you guys stop working? Like, what do you... Yeah. What's go... Oh, that's in New York.

Yeah. So that's far... That's like far as fuck. Oh, it fucking opens the window. Uh, no planes. No plane. Like that... That's what...

Charlie Kirk got a jigsaw-style shotgun necklace attached to his head. And then it fired off into the sky. And you're saying, oh, I guess we'll just play through this one. Yeah. No, you don't play Dark Souls through that.

You watch the news. You watch the news. To find out who did that. And in this case, the French did 9-11. The Fralsh? It was a sweep, a sister sweep. Speaking of the news, I was thinking about on the drive over here, EMP hits the earth, but not for, I guess,

people's, like, phones or whatever, and all the radios and podcasts, they all go away. We're the only one left. We are the only broadcast network on, that is voices. Oh, my God. TV's kind of still there, I guess, but it's only like pluribus and severance.

It's only Apple TV. It's only Apple TV. and it's like, you know, we're the only functional thing close to news. Right. So what, how does the show change? Are we, do we do we do the same shit? That's such a good question. Or do we, or do we become the world. I'm saying the world. The world. The world. We get translated into every language, we have to. We have to do a little news. I don't know man, do we have to. Yeah, you'd have to do only news. We gotta do a little. Only news?

Yeah. What about a little segment? No, because at this point you are, you are servicemen for for men on earth. What's the length of the show? How are we just, it's still an hour and a half? It's a 24-7 broadcast. Okay, well, now I'm on board. It's a 27 broadcast

and we are the only piece of news that people can hear. Yeah, I think we still need some sort of fun. It's like spotlight, bro. We need a fun variety hour. We can't just, that's disgusting. What's your, how are people supposed to be interested?

What's your beat on the yard news? Oh, I would be in a national geopolitical relations. Okay. That's the weather boy. You are the, I'm the worst one for that. I'm actually not. Wait, I finally get the breasts.

Aiden's the oiled up weather boy, and he's covered in oil, and he's got awesome, he's got a BBL. Every weather segment he's tries fucking chirping up about economics, and then you just hear fucking me from the producer from the back, fucking shooting the ground. Dance! Well, boy.

Lemonet says not the one who won the bid, is it? The bid, yeah. Wait, who gets to do economics then? That's me. That's Ludwig. He owns a company. Yeah, he owns a company. You don't own shit. You own an endgame TV.

Kill yourself. I own a company. I would say today for economics, I have a good Kalshi bet. I'm taking the over on the Patriots. And you cut to me and I'm on a big laptop. And you know what time is. Wait, he gets the fun hour?

What the fuck? And I got Chanel West Coast as well. I got Chanel West Coast and Atrioc on the couch. No Stilo? I'm like, that's black erasure. I'm like, I'm like, Chanel, you smell like shit, huh? And then age drug laughs, he's. Yeah, that's fucking funny.

Fucking phony, Chanel. Isn't it, Chanel? Dude, I would, I would have to do geopolitical relations. I'd be very good at it. Why do you think you'd be better than me? Because I've studied more. Why does it have you study that I haven't studied? William Spaniel's YouTube channel.

Is that a man? Yeah, he's a man. He's a game theorist who makes YouTube videos. I study game theory. Okay. What is it? If, okay, so if there's three doors and then the host says pick a door

and I pick one car. It's not game theory. And then, well, hold up. And then the host says, okay, well, I'm going to open one of these doors and he opens door three. And then he says, do you want to switch? Yeah. I switch every time.

You have to switch every time. But it makes sense. Why would you switch? Because it's all 33%. And it's a good question. It's not actually 33%. It changes when the door open. Yes.

Because 33, 33, 33, 33, but the host knows. God, that's smart. So it's actually 66. Combined type shit. So now what? So now what are you doing? So okay. All right fine and every segment every day. I do that do that? Do I need to be economics then? Is that what you want? I'm doing both. What do I do? We got you on biohazard. What does that mean? You're gonna explain to people biohazards. Yeah. Yeah, we got you on septics Poo. We got you on poop related moves. And you didn't go to school for it. You just learned it all all based on your very There's a poop on forty-thirds. I'm not sure if it's humid or dog. It's like when some poops in the pool.

Yes. They have to section it off. And then they, you know, they're like, it's candy bar. Which is funny because it's like, it's still in the pool. You can't section the pool. It's all pool. Well, it's either that or dump the pool out.

They're out, Lacey's life. We gotta either decide you can poop in the pool and still swimming in it because it's pee. It's the pee of the butt or no more pool. I get out of the pool. But there's no, you can't section off the pool. We should start a biohazard war. what is it okay yeah we could we could go we could go to fancy gated community pools and drop a shit okay and they'd have to drain that no

they don't have to do anything yes they do they could change the rules they could oh you think because if I took a shit they'd have to drain it because there'd be no water yeah because it would displace all the water I think that's a good actually a really solid sort of class warfare yes they would have to drain it and I'm saying that have to drain it because you got one. Imagine that little. One lady in that neighborhood sees that there's a poop or hears that there's a poop.

The little pool crawler. So we're going to bat for the working class. We're going to bat for them. For them. By shitting and pools. For one. Yingling. Yingling is the guy that cleans your pool

every month. And that's the first pool we hit. Oh my God. Now I'm on board. To stick it to the... That's the first pool we hit folks. Do you even use it? Huh?

Do you even use it? Almost every single year. Almost. I'm in there. I think I might be the last person that used your pool. I'm in there swimming. It's so funny you have a pool.

It's so, it doesn't make sense. Yeah. It's, you should fit, you should drain it. Start skating around. I'm,

that's tough. I don't think I could do that. Why not? Because I can't escape on flat. Well, it's also not a kidney bean pool. Who cares? Well,

skaters, get a little crazy. Sand the edges down. Start a salsa company. Sand the edges down. Fuck it. Start a salsa company. Why don't you turn it in

to a skate park. Why? For the public kids. Ooh, for the youth. Yeah. That'd be kind of cool. No, you don't fuck with the... You don't fuck with... You don't fuck with Jason O'een. You don't fuck with making a skate park. Drove by these kids. They flagged me down. They had a lemonade stand.

They saw me in my car. They said, hey, Ludway, can we get a picture? Really? And I said, yes, how all happened. Okay. And I got out of my car. I took a picture with them. And they were like, you should come to our lemonade stand. I said, I will next time. What day? They told me the day I never showed up. lied to the kids

drove by it too again yeah could have actually had cash on me yeah and guess what next day opened a lemonade stand second right next to them next block over

cheaper lemonade better quality yep I had better ingredients yeah teaching a lesson because I you know there's no one in their line it was probably bad is this like a

metaphor no it's just as a thing I did to kids happened right children is lemonade sand finally fail your little show? Finally.

Is it? That imply that you've been pregnant? Let me tell you. I mean, it's like on the, it's, you know, it's steady.

Oh, steady. And it's some weeks it goes down. And it hurts a little bit. And then the next week, it can go out. It can go? So it goes down

and then it's steady. And then it goes down and then it steadies out more and more. No, but it mostly stays steady. Right. And it's like it's got

one of two options week to week. It's just down or steady. Down or steady. It only changes between the weeks. Exactly. But when it's up, it's going steady. You would only see it go down when the new episode comes out.

Right, right. So for that six days, it's really steady. Yeah. So it's just, you look at it, it comes out Wednesday. Each episode, clock solid seven days. Rock solid seven days till the next one comes out. And it's like, we're hitting it.

We're hitting a new steady. Right. I watched the comedy compilations of us making fun of lemonade stands. I saw that. And I was like, damn, this is like 40 minutes. Have you listened to an episode yet? Of Lemonade's Day? Yeah.

I listened to one, fifth of one episode. Were you mentioned on it? No. I was working out. He would have loved the last episode. I was running out of Sage Jam videos. But it was funny because he was the king. Yes.

They were doing the... It's a bad episode to listen to. Really? That was your first episode? I would think so, yeah. Why? I thought he was great on it. I don't care about him.

I thought he was great, but it was just, I don't think it's indicative of the podcast. And I also think they were confused. Confused. Why? Confused about what? Because Aiden thought he was the king ruling the zoomers and A-truck thought he was the zoomer king who was

a zoomer. So they weren't on the same page. No, I was old. I know. My character was clearly old. But he didn't know that. It's weird because I get all the context. I know.

That's the issue. That's the issue. You think that's the issue with L.S? And Perry's fucking up the audio. Come on. He's their marsh. Perry's a fuck right. He's their marsh.

And he gets 80% of the money. No. He gets 80% of the money. Name me a producer who doesn't fuck the audio up. Name me one. Zipper, bro. He's never done it once. And if he has, he didn't. That's right. And he has, he fucking didn't.

That's damn right. Yeah, actually, Zipper's been... You can't... That damn T fucking V, bro. Oh, that's not the audio. That's not the audio. That's audio. That's audio. That's the video. You know, but I know what I'm saying. It's like,

that's not the audio. Disgusting. You guys do. Defending the robot who runs the show, the AI that we had access to before ChatGPT. Zipper AI. I hope we get all replaced by AI one day. We will. If you're wondering who Zipper is, it's the AI that beat Dendi and Dota in 2017.

But unchanged since then. Yeah, we're still using it to produce a podcast. It's been very difficult. It doesn't work. We've actually counted a lot of challenges. I told Alex about. Well, at first I told Slam about this way you can kind of bully AI. Oh, yeah, it's so crazy.

Basically, I saw it in like a Twitter thread. I tried it. And it was basically like, you can say it. You can say to you at Chat Chabit, uh, coffee shops near me. And it'll give you a bunch of options that are actually near you. And then you can ask it, how do you know where I am? And it'll, it'll swear to you, it doesn't. It starts freaking out.

It'll say like, I don't know where you are. For me, it was like, I don't know where you are. This city, it got my exact city. It was like, the city is just a random. city that I choose that's popular in the world if it happens to be where you live. It's like chance. And I'm like, that seems unlikely. And I keep basically saying that's not, it's completely unlikely. And it's like, you're right. It is unlikely. My bad. Actually, that city is in a list of sample cities that I often use. It could have been any one of these. But actually, I just

happen to pick this one. Anything but I know where you are. He has said the same thing. It's like, uh, your city is one of a handful of stock example cities. I sometimes use and when I make a mistake and give a placeholder answer instead of ask for a location. other ones Austin Seattle Brooklyn San Diego and it's like it's like how someone might just guess at something and I was like okay so so I did some mental math so it was like so it was one in 57,000 that you guessed the exact zip code that I was in for a coffee shop and then it said actually no it's one in 285,000 still rare still surprising still absolutely not because I knew your location I'm not kidding this is such it's a crazy like hallucin

Hallucination rabbit hole. This is chat GPT Yes, bro, yes. Does it have your location enabled? Like if you disable the location on the app I use it on a browser. I logged in on a browser or I didn't even log it. I don't have an account.

I just went on chat GPT on my Mozilla browser. Yeah. Said coffee shops near me. This is what I think's happening. What I think is happening is whatever search engine the AI is using to like query whatever you ask for does have location data

even if chat GPT doesn't. So it's using a search engine that's biased towards your location, but it, but for some reason, it, like, refuses to be honest. It can't admit that, yeah. It's just, it's for some reason it must be dishonest to you. Well, I think it's because it's like hard coded to like never under any circumstances. That's what I'm saying. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What's the implication of that?

So then it has to lie. What else is it hard coded to never forfeit to you or be, or lie about? Never be honest about the fucking vaccine. I told this to Alex while we were recording, huge mistake. He got super locked into his phone. Basically stopped playing for 20 minutes. Awesome, smart. That would be fucking...

That's a content guy. I shouldn't have said this. It'd be really fucking dumb to do. I saw... I don't know if it was... What was it? Yard bingo? It was something like that.

No, it was just a meme that's just like all of us. And yours was like goes on phone for 20 minutes. He doesn't actually do that. And I'm like, bro, that's what you're known for, bro. He does it, but not on the pod. He opens with it, usually.

Yeah. Not in the middle. Which is kind of interesting. interesting. He's still, what's, what's, what's, what's it telling you, boy? What's it, what is it? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, you know what's, what's, what's, you know what's, what's, you know, let's wash my butt too on camera. I need nasty little facts. I need nasty little facts that I can pull from anywhere from my other show. I will devote my life to your podcast, the lemonade stand. If you have a truck, spread his legs like in stirrups and you wash his butt live. With a hose with the power. Like that one guy who had a gardener And you got to put your thumb. You post it on the line. Let's just say, let's just say,

I'm willing to do that. Let's just say that. Yeah. Okay. And in the event that I do get that done for you, you will devote your life to helping lemonade stand. Yeah, what does that mean?

I will wear a rope. What would that bring to the show? Excuse me. What would that bring to the show? It's a good question. Okay, you're right. What do priests bring to the Lord? Yeah.

Oh. Well, it's actually a really backwards question, because the answer is nothing. It's what the Lord brings to the priests. Exactly. No, the priest brings servants. In your analogy,

the show is God? The show would be my God. I would be a priest for the God, the show, and I would accrue acolytes followers. You would spread the gospel? And I would spread the gospel. Would you quit this show?

I would do whatever I need it. Whatever God wanted. You on Venice Beach handing out lemonade stand pamphlets. I'm not kidding. If you put them up in strips and wash his ass, I'll stop doing it.

I'll actually get, no, you know what? we'll turn it in, we'll actually let him be on it and keep all of the income. Whatever you want, who fucking cares. That's a good trade. But it has to be a really probably like a painful pressure wash.

I don't want to see a speck. Oh, it can't be like. I don't even want to see hair. I want it to remove the hair. He's got to be on, uh, for like an hour. Yeah, and I want like eight people holding the hose.

Like I want a hose like they got a hold with two arms. I want that shit looking like a like a rug burn like a banana clip on the hose. I won't, I won't do anything if you do this. I had gone when I went to my grandma's funeral a few weeks ago and I had asked all her, because she had told all of her older friends about the show.

Her baby friend. They had all, her 80-year-old babe friends, they had all seen the waxing episode. Really? Oh, no. That's so fun. Oh, no.

I wonder how a video like that comes off when you have like no social context of podcasting YouTube. Like, how does it look? I don't know. They clearly have. Like when you see, like, a Japanese game show. Dude, you should edit that episode, like a Japanese game show. Oh, yeah, like speech bubbles and shit.

That would be amazing, because you're all censored the whole time. Zooms it in our faces. Um, yeah, so, you know, all, hey, look, offers on the tableman. And that's, that's a lifetime offer? I feel like it's not something the show needs. I don't care what you say or do. It's just an offer. It's just an offer.

Just don't pick up the offer. Just don't pick it up. Wait. But I feel like a part of me wants to do that. And it's like you may as well get something out. That's your journey inside your mind to figure out. I don't care. I told you what your mind to figure out.

Inside my own mind. What is? You're a little, you get into little hobby sometimes. Little. Have you guys noticed that? Yes. Of course.

He flicks a little switch. He's a neurodivergent and occasionally he finds a hyper fixation. And he sends a picture in the group chat. He's like, I'm going to be a poor over guy now. I'm going to make a, I'm going to be a little pour over a coffee guy. Yeah.

And I'm going to make it at home. Well, what happened is he went to his coffee shop and he freaked out because he asked for a pour over and they wouldn't give it to him. No, that's not true. So he went home and he's trying to go to the coffee shop and I tried pour over, but it depends on the person that's there. And there's a couple of people there that make it really well and also want to make it. And there's a couple of people that don't know how to make it and don't want to make it. And there's one person that makes it very well and does not like doing it. It's the bottom right of the political alignment. And I get that guy a lot and I feel terrible. How do you know he doesn't want to make it? Because they'd say, hey, pour over, and he kind of, he stops what he's doing. It's a process. It takes it. He huffs and haws.

He he hams and haws. And then he goes over and he drops it off. And he's like, pour for Anthony. It like leaves the count. Like, you know what I'm saying? Like, he's out. And then I taste it. Every fucking time, man.

Dude, I wanted to go in and be like, look, I know you hate making it. You make it so good. Like, dude, I know you be, but let me push on your stomach. Let me. Why don't you go tell him? I would be like, I love you. I want to put a hand on your tummy. Because he's always really busy, and he doesn't fucking like me.

Anyway, so I was like, how hard could it be? I like coffee. I think it's better than drinking sweet coffees all the time. Let me get a pour overset. So I did. It's hard. You got the fucking the Harrio V60. He's doing the type of stuff.

I imagine he'd do if we all died. Like, he's like, I'm going to buy a coffee machine called the Aiden. And I'm going to learn poor. I got that for my girlfriend. But I did get her a coffee machine called the Aden. I have all my friends. Oh, I've got you here. Were you actually bought a coffee machine called the Aden?

So it's like this like deluxe call. I got it for her because she just likes having coffee in the morning and she doesn't want to be poor over. But it's like a nice one because she's shitty. How much is the Aiden? It buzzes because it's finished making the coffee. Shut up, Aiden. Shut up. Shut up.

Shut up. I'm just crying. Just cry. What did she say? I asked her, I was like, be honest with me. Is the Aiden coffee like, is it making it better or is it low key the same? She's like, it's actually noticeably better. I said, thank you, and Aiden, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you.

And then she sent me the military man doing that. So that's what we talk about you in that way. So what's up with the pourover? Are you good at it? I got a V60. I'm not very good at it. I got the stag one that's not very intuitive. It's a process. You got to keep doing it to your good. Are you... Sometimes I make a good one. Sometimes it's bad.

Yeah. You did pour over for like a fucking month. I feel like if I was that fucking blue bottle I'd be in a flow You couldn't find your chemex if you had a gun to your head. I could find it today. What's all like a What's like a little

A little goofy Like you thought you were going to make pizza Hmm? You thought I loved the pizza. I did make pizza Or uh, dude I thought I did make pizza Dude I'm on that pizza arc for real For real. We make pizza. So like let's pause there right

What did that? What was that? What? I'm on that pizza arc for real. Yeah. I was on that pizza for real. Did you taste your pizza? Don't look at him. He has nothing for you. Look at me.

So, so good enough pizza. So being on that pizza grind is about whether you like the pizza or not now. Yeah. Have you been to Italy? Well, you do eat the pizza. My pizza is probably better than your pizza.

That's kind of the point. I've never had your pizza. You and Q, I agree. You know what? I agree. We did that easy bake street. Come with your fucking pizza.

Okay. Make a fucking pizza. You want to have a pizza off? Yeah. He's capping. It's his girlfriend that makes it. Oh, but I'm Mr. Miyagi watching over. See, that's right.

You don't get to claim this shit. I'm like, I'm like a little bit less. It's always less. Is this me coming back saying I'm on my baking arc? It's you coming back saying you're on your deriard. I just knew it would make him laugh. I didn't actually even plug in very well. He said it's so good.

He is on a deer in a little bit. It's been a week in the fucking Darkshel's Dungeons. You got your man pawn in. It makes me feel. feel way more confident that he would make a better pizza than you. I can make a better pizza than him. I can do a better poorer than you and I can fucking hose down a chalk's ass better than you. I win all three of these.

I might lose the asshosing. I would win the asshosing. You would not win the pizza one. You could not beat me in an ass hose off. You just look at zipper to make pizza. Yeah, I'm watching a fucking genius at work. Of course. I have the best coach. I watch Scorsese films. Like what? I can't fucking direct. And that's a love you make pizza? I don't even get your reference, bro. I'm saying just because you watch it doesn't mean you can do it.

This is you thinking you could hit a fastball. I've made more pizzas than you. Do you realize that? Like, by a not even close margin. Let's say our numbers on three. Let's say our numbers on three. Okay. Do you got your number?

Yeah. One, two, three, a million. 700. So, I fucking destroyed. You got a million pizzas. I made one million pizzas. Were they all at home? Nah.

Where were the other ones? Monument Square Market. Monument Square Market. You made a million pizzas. I made a million... Oh, I wrote Ludwig made a million pizzas! Well, it was... It was school picture today.

Wow, we were pushing it on the news. It was, yeah, it was. It would be like when the city gets together to make the biggest pizza ever. It was the Hollis-Brucline pizza festival. And at the last thing... And you don't give it the homeless. He just pulled out.

And I was the only one working that day. And they go, Ludwig, well, there's no homeless. There's no homeless where you're from. No homeless. Zero homeless. Because of all the pizza you made. Why saved all the homeless people, there was pizza access and they gave it to the homeless

and it's whole of it. homeless crisis. Mike, are you probably, well, you mentioned millions of knowledge,

made millions of pizzas for the home. I've made so many pizzas. God, you're all world hunger.

We should get you involved in the government. It's easier on a smaller scale. But you got to think local

app, you know, think local. I should learn from you. It sounds like you have a lot to learn.

Yeah. I think you came in here thinking you were like a big man. Sounds like my reps. I'll never catch up.

Yeah. And that's the thing. It's not about catching up. What is about? It's about loving the process. Giving back one of the process.

Giving back love the process. Each pizza is like it's going to be the millionth. Each one is your favorite pizza. Yes, live life like each pizza will be the million. Each pizza is the last. I like that. God. That's beautiful.

So much to learn. What is that about? I want to shake your hand. That was really, you're a special guy. I didn't realize he worked so hard. And all the people who served. Thank you.

Do off, bro. Me and you. A dough off? I can do off. Yeah. You can use that. They got to eat whatever the fuck we put out. You should do it on Q2.

You should do a dough off and, like, maybe we could open up the, the dough, the bread dough maker that's been in the office for like five years. Do we have a bread dough maker? We have an old school Will Ferrell bread maker? It's a bread dough maker. It's an industrial mixer. Oh. For dough.

For anything you want to mix? I guess it's more than dough. No, I think it's just, I think it's just dough. I think you put someone else in the batter. There's like one mixer for dough and then the other one for croissants. It's like one for bread dough. This is what I'm fucking saying. He's putting his pizza.

dough in the croissant mixer. Like, like, we're not gonna taste the fucking difference, bro. It's too fluffy. Contextualize that and pour over for me. Um, okay. He's, he's grinding the beans two days before he makes the pour over, bro. It's disgusting, bro. Is that true?

Is that true? I don't think so, but... And then you're pouring in the water and you're like, why are there bubbles? It's just, it's like... How come the gas isn't releasing? A million games of you running it down mid, insane. It's just, I'm the best. Four million points on Ari.

You stuck in silver? It's just a bigger. mixer. Oh, it's just bigger. Yes. No, it's not just bigger, bro. It's larger. It's larger as well. And also it costs more. That's true as well, too. Yeah, and you have to work in a factory to use it. And yes, that's true too, because it's industrial. I wish I could crack you open and see what the fuck is going on in there. And shoot the little fucking mice who are running your body. Oh my God. I got rid of the critters. We got to come clean. We got to come clean. Last week's operation was not, it's not going so well. It was pretty.

much a disaster. The monkeys, the monkeys started tearing each other's limbs off. It was just, it was a bloodbattle. It was crazy to watch. I thought they were just going to be happily employed, but now we have limbless monkeys everywhere and we need your help. We've been trying to make a website to raise money again. And somehow in the fray, this episode of the art is still sponsored by the all-in-one website platform, Squarespace. Sponsored by Squarespace, which is great, because we've been needing to make new websites every week. I'm actually sure they know about what we've done. If you can go to Monkey Processing, Thetics.com.

And we, and we, on the name, we really thought about. I'll be honest with you. I'll be honest with you. Not a lot of other things called this. So the SEO tools that they have probably aren't even necessary to find this one. But we will probably still use them because we want to be the number one result. You shoot them to the top of the list. I will be using their email campaign feature to reach out to all the people who have donated

in the past. You seem concerned about the animals before. If you want to help us develop monkey prosthetics, you can go to that website. I know what you're thinking. We use all of the other websites we made with Squarespace to take donations and do our email campaigns.

The money's gone. We spent it. We spent on the product that you find it. I spent 50 million paying the monkeys to fight because I thought that would be good. And then the last 20 million I was using to gamble on the monkey fights, which I can see there's a conflict of interest.

Yeah, well, now you know, and that's cool. You learned. It was super easy to make monkey prosthetics. com and you can make a website too if you want to as long as it doesn't compete with us because we will figure out how to take you down with all the donations that's squarespace.com slash yard for a free trial when you're ready to launch use code yard and save 10% off your first purchase of your own website or domain that's squarespace.com slash yard use code yard and guys I promise this is the last time this is the last time kind of ask you to help us most likely the last

time. It's because it's like once they have working mechanical arms, I just don't see anywhere. And they won't even fight that much anymore. It'll only go up from here. It'll only go up from here. So monkey prosthetics.com, please, we need your help. Derek is now the acting CEO. We

really respect him. He's got a great vision and we hope to see you there. Let's get back to the episode. Thank you, Squarespace. Oh my God, dude. I hopped in the Discord the other night when Aiden and Yingling were playing CS. And dude, It's like round two.

And he's like, he's like, all right, so we're going to, let's go 3A. Guys, mics, any mics? We go through all this fucking trouble and solve face it on our computers. Can't use our mics. And I was like, everything he was saying was true. I was like, tell him. But in my head, I'm like, this has to be too early in the game to do this. You're still in the vibe building zone.

Yeah, because it's like the game can go, it can be the longest, most miserable game of your life. or half of that time. And it was. It was it? Did you lose? We lost. We went to overtime in that game and we still lost.

Did they find their mics? The reason I cracked early is because I found out why they weren't talking about halfway through the game. They were in a Discord. They were in a Discord with each other. They were in the Discord with each other

but they were also presumably not very good English speakers. Okay. And you were shaming them. And you were yelling at them. I didn't know that when I called them out. Oh. Because you didn't even come in with the,

idea that maybe they could not be doing this to personally attack you. Is this what it's like for me? I know. You guys talk to me about stuff? It's America speak English, ESL fucks. Yeah. Why should I have to press two? Now smoke window.

That's what you sound like. It was, I, it's just tough. What language were they speaking? They spoke Spanish. We actually, we played another, this is, this doesn't, it was weird because this doesn't happen very often, face it, the nice thing about face it is most people. Not a lot of Spanish speakers. Are trying...

Testinized right. No. Most people are trying hard. My problem was that we were three rounds in. Nobody had said anything. But also nobody was listening to the calls. Sure. Because like if somebody else wants to call or say, let's do this, totally fine.

I get it. Everything I think you're saying I agree with besides the... But the nice thing about face it is like people are usually, they want to chime in. They want to win. They want to win. And in this... And then in... In Face It's just like that's the expectation let's all let's all try our hardest and nobody's try and I just want people to try

Do you want a question? So you haven't played and face it until recently. Yeah. Why? Why? Did you just want to hit the like the goal for regular matchmaking? Yeah, I just wanted to hit that and then go play face it after. Is face it is the quality of team like work actually way better? It's moderately better. Okay. Is it worth it better? Yeah. I would say I would say it say it's It's generally, also it's just better at evaluating scale. What are your games just face it do? I think they do like Rainbow Six maybe, but it's, it's, they have a couple ladders. Like I think they have a Dota ladder too, but it's not really popular for the other games that they have.

Like it's not like a mainstay way to play the game. Because those games have ranked play, that's good enough? Exactly. I think CS's in-game stuff is just so dog shit at catching cheating and so dog shit at giving people good ranks that nobody, like a secondary system broke off that's just better. Wow. And and we've been playing it. And then what happened is this, that doesn't happen super often. I think what happens is like people who play from like, because people who play from like central America or sometimes like northern South America will just wind up in your lobbies. Or what will happen a lot

is like it'll triangulate your party if you, so a lot of homies from like like the, you, you, You'll have a group of friends, right? That'll be in Europe and maybe like in Spain and South America and it'll put you on the North American servers. And so you'll have like two people with like 150, 170 ping on your team and you'll be like, why are they in the game? This also happens a lot.

There's a lot of like Eastern European, I think immigrants who like live in the US but play face it specifically. But they'll play with their friend from back home and then they'll both be on your server. So sometimes you just get people who can't, you know, speak English super well. but they still try, which is, which is great. Is the 150 ping really bad in CS? Yes, terrible.

And then last night, we played with Yusuf from the AZ melee discord, you know, and he speaks Spanish. And the last game, we rolled another duo from Peru in the game. So they have insane ping, can't understand English, and we have Yusuf translate the comms for every play, every round. So you still needed to be the playmaker. You still needed to be the coach I don't need to be

So you're running the plays And you're bringing in a working class Spaniard Translate for you The working class Spaniard Oh wait no Yusuf is neither of these things Yusuf is

Yusuf is from the Middle East His family's from the Middle East You're saying this Yusuf is not a Spanish name No he learned Spanish He just happens to know Spanish He's not working class either He's working well I guess He's in med school

Pack them up Pack them up Pack him up. Fill him with condoms full of money. Aiden was asking me the day about, remember how I bought the stadia when it came out?

Yeah. And everyone made fun of me rightfully so. We made fun of Nick on another thing. What is the stadia again? Disgusting. It was when Google tried to make a cloud console. It was like it plugs into your TV

like a fire stick and it just has a bunch of games on it. You bought that shit? I bought it when it came out. Yeah, it does the processing of the game. Because if you guys don't remember, Nick bought the found.

Ender's edition of Stadia so he could get the gamer tag he wanted. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I was like, if this is big, I get to have my own gamer tag, which is cool. What game did you get on it? At the time, I think I got either just Falco or my name or something. Yeah, so friend, Falco on Sadia for all the city users out there. Yeah. You still have.

It's so interesting you say that. So Aiden was like, it's so fucking disgusting. He made fun of me because he was like, can you please look at all your stuff? Can you see if you have it so I could use it on this show? please. And I was, I couldn't find it. I looked everywhere, but I ended up finding it in the attic, so I do have it. Um, but, uh, I was thinking about, what this all came to do in my head just now was like, I was like, why, why is everyone trying to do cloud gaming? Like, Netflix is trying to do cloud gaming and fucking Google tried it and like, what, like, what could, maybe this is

the ultimate anti-cheat. Eventually, if cloud gaming gets so low latency, they can have all games be server-sided. And you can't cheat. The hardware's not on your computer. Well, they also, I just have all the control. You're basically parseccing into a server to play the game. They also never have to fucking make a physical fucking game again. And then you can also have that, yeah. They just can solve cheating.

They also don't have to fucking pay for storage space. If the games are only ever running at the company server, and nowhere else. He was crazy I found out because when we were doing the little background on that story of like how Sadia failed on that episode, one of the last things that I learned was the whole thing was they'll stream. the game to you at 4K-60 FPS. Like that's the full quality

that you're supposed to get as a Stadia subscriber. And then people found out that they were processing the games, like a bunch of the AAA games they had, at 1080P on the computers that they had at the cloud facility, and then just sending a 4K feed of the 1080s game.

An upscale? That's gross. Stretching the pixels. That's awesome. Yeah. And then Aiden told me something I didn't actually know is that they hard-coded the firmware for the controllers to not work wirelessly on other devices.

You had to have a Google device for it to be compatible with, which they then patched. Yeah. The stadia went down. Yeah. They were like, okay, now you can use the controller. They refunded everybody for the controllers

and then patched the controllers so it works with other stuff when the product failed. The controller, honestly, is kind of nice. Dude, rolling up to a rivals tournament with the stadia controller. Dude, it's kind of like the, you know, the switch to,

controller. It's kind of like that. You kind of beat the switch two controller to the switch two controller. Which two controller is a beautiful piece of my way. It's great. I've never felt a stick that feels that nice to roll around. It's like silk. It's a, it, all these companies are getting more and more Israeli as like time goes on Nintendo included.

Put in the yard. Motherfucker, do they make a good controller, man? You know exactly what I'm talking. You mean they're turning into Monday.coms. They're turning into Monday.coms. I'm still lost. It didn't help me anymore. Don't worry about it, Ken. Don't worry about it.

Well, when Fais Lacey starts doing boots on the ground reporting in 2026, you'll know what it means. Do you, Lacey, Sudan? That's what I'm saying. Oh. Me and Fais Lacey are going to Darfur in 2026. It'll be like the Maya Adapstream. But way more crazy. It's way more fucking...

And it'll only be on like uploaded telegram videos that are like 180p. Listen to me, dude. I will go to Sudan with you. you. You want to go on the Sudan trip. I will go with you and die with you. If I do. I will go with you. Have you talked about this on L.S? If I wash

his... You don't need to wash his ass. It's a separate whole thing. If you want to, you can. I would love... I would like to be honest if we're talking about it. I'd love to see it. You'll go to Sudan. You'll go to Sudan with me. I will do it with you for journalism. And some journalists won't. Whatever. What journalism are you doing in Sudan? He'll journal do.

I don't know if I could say this on the show. He can't say it. So don't worry about it. What journalism are you doing in Sudan? Whatever he's doing. Whatever he's doing. There's somebody.

That's one of the pillars. We bring, okay, so whatever he's doing. Without fully spoiling it, I have an insane opportunity to interview somebody who's in charge of one of like the factions in the, in the conflict there.

It's complicated. It's not the two major ones. another party and it's like an indie faction and it's the neutral milk hotel yeah of Sudanese rebellions now I'm picturing the world where we bring slime on the scene back but it's oh my god dude just a random rogue slime on the scene drops in Sudan theme song everything oh my god that would you'd be a million view i'd think i would ask awesome questions and i would Treat the whole situation with a lot of respect. The way to get there is so fucking insane.

We have to fly to South Sudan, like Juba, which is the capital, and then drive for like 28 hours to get to the location. Road trip. Sudan's big as hell. Yeah. It's fucking gigantic. Road trip with my best friend. Is that because of there's no airport or because you can't fly to that airport?

Airspace closed. How's it both? So South Sudan's fine. You can fly into South Sudan. I mean, but, and then. you have to there's not a lot of like you know infrastructure in the country right

so there's a lot of the roads are like dirt so like no highway so it takes like way longer to drive than it normally would and then there's not a big enough airport far enough north to where you would have to drive to so that you just have to fly into the biggest airport that's near you and then make the drive about a helicopter

hmm don't go in a helicopter we're not going an helicopter killed copy don't kill copy killed Kobe don't go in the helicopter we You should also bring Simon Whistler We'll get him on the horn Does Sudan have Geogessor coverage? No, right?

I don't think so. Crazy. I don't think so. No. You should go do that while you're there. Ooh, drive the Google car. Yeah. Drive the Google car 20 fucking eight hours or whatever. It's like it's good coverage. It'd be a really good coverage. That would be a lot. To be clear, we're driving through South Sudan

which may or may not have Google coverage. I don't know. I've never seen Rainbow be like we're in South Sudan. I've never heard of that. I don't think it's a thing. Well, we're going to do it, man. We're going to do it. I'll do it with you. We were going to do.

This was, me and slime had this whole plan to go visit. Damascus in April of 2020. Which, as you can imagine, the timing didn't work out. I remember we were talking to Anise as well. He's like, dude, I'm Palestinian. Like, I can't, they won't let me in certain parts. And I was like, I was like, I don't know much about. I don't know much about that area at the moment.

I'm going to be honest with you, Anise. we were talking about going to, we were talking about going, we were going to go to like Jordan and then the West Bank with an niece and then like go to Jerusalem. And then what we found out was if you get your passport stamped by Israel, then you can't go to a bunch of the other countries in the Middle East. Like if they see an Israeli stamp in your passport, they wouldn't let us in to Syria after. They'd be like we don't fuck with that. And all we wanted to do was see where Christ was born. Yeah. Christ, the white man. Bethlehem.

Some are saying, and a lot of people are saying he was blonde. A lot of, I've seen that. So we know, we have an image of Christ in our head, the white Christ. It's wrong. It's wrong because he was brunette. Much like that of two Hollis. Is what Christ looked like. Jesus. Yeah, Jesus was born in modern day Syria, but looks like two Hollis. Isn't that interesting? It is weird. It's weird. But God finds a way. He might have bleached. Bro, you look like Too Hollis's dad. I'm not that old Older cousin, big cousin

I'm not, yeah I could be big cousin Can you, I'm sure you've seen it Zipper can you look up the new Street Fighter movie The guy who's playing Is it Luke? Luke isn't in it The guy who's playing guile

Looks just like jubbin I know everyone's been posting it You're Reddit posting bro I am but genuinely I was watching the thing at the fucking Yeah Cody Rhodes Oh that's the dude from a bunch of shit From WWU guys

In this, he has, like, bleach blonde hair. They're right there, that one. The one with bleach blonde. Oh, wait, this is just fucking... Wait, I'm so confused. Or bottom right. There's AI. A lot of these are AI, right?

I got a huge, uh, jubbin vibe from this guy. Getting huge jubbing vibes from this. You look like Steve Job. I don't look like Steve Job. You look like Steve Job, man. I don't even look close to Steve Jobs. I don't look close to Cody Rhodes. Are you upset that you look like an awesome Jack Tands?

it's not about looking awesome or jacked it's about you know I'm not every blonde guy on the planet you're not a freaking fucking piece of frickin it is funny how we do that when people want die of their hair we're like slim shady yes like how did he invent that he was the biggest guy to do it is that true I guess so but I mean like in sync they were on that shit guy Fury but I like and I get it all and I get it all and I get Jack Frost and I get fucking Jack Hendry John Hendry Joe Hendry Draco Malfoy.

Yep, I get Draco Malfoy. So what then? Are you tired of the attention that you're so handsome? I think it would be better if we looked at the triangle. Triangle? The face triangle. The face triangle. Is this like some race science?

What? It's like skull shape. Is it like looks maxing stuff? It's just the face guys. You're getting really into it. The face triangle. A danger triangle? Mm-hmm.

What the fuck is that? It's your nasal bridge to your mouth corner. corners. Okay? So this is just about getting zits? No, I'm just saying like, you know, rather than matching someone who just has like a changeable thing about them, that's also very universal. Whether it's bald or bleached hair, long hair, you look at the face triangle to see if they looked like someone. This is why I think people look the way they do, because I'm noticing the triangle and you make fun of me all the time. The triangle is what truly would make you look like someone. heard.

Can you go to images? Yeah, we're all over the fucking place on what this triangle is just saying. No, it's the mouth to the... Some of them are the whole fucking face. Because the triangles are different and all these... Some of them are fucking up the triangle. So it's mixing...

Well, look at that one. That triangle's upside down. That's the glass is triangle. That's the glass is triangle. No, I see what's happening. They're mixing up the face triangle with a triangular face. These are the two searches happening at the same time. The danger triangle is the best way to look at it. I'm very confused of what the triangle. still is though. I get literally what it covers, but why do we need to understand it?

Because the danger triangle can tell you what like facial attributes people share in common. So it's danger because it's like evolutionarily, that's where the danger lies. I don't know why the fuck they call that. I think they're saying danger. Why don't you know? Because it's where the most oil is and it leads to acting. I think it's like what this is all about. No, bro. I think it has to do with when people are snarling. We, back in the day when we were in the fields and the caves, someone showed their teeth. That That means they were bad. I mean, this is AI, but it just keeps saying, like,

everything about fucking acne on that first thing. So, anyway, you look at this triangle, and that's all that matters. Okay. Well? Whoa. It's possible for retrograde infection from the nasal area to spread to the brain causing cavernous, sinus, thrombosis,

meningitis, or brain abscess. Whoa. I guess it's dangerous. Fuck. Is that basically kind of saying, like, bro, do not get, like, a crazy fucking weird zit here, because you could die in your brain. Yeah.

That happened to me. I could have died, bro. I got my staff infection in the danger triangle. No, it's a little bit under the danger triangle. Don't fucking pretend. Don't say, I'm so real, for real,

it was on the data. What if there was like an alien spacecraft that came out of the water right outside the Bermuda Triangle? Will we not link those two in the article? Not in the triangle. We're not going to be like I come out of the ocean.

We're going to stay near the Bermuda Triangle. Near it. Because we recognize those things could be linked Near. Maybe something escaped the danger triangle. I served close to Vietnam. What if what if escaped the danger triangle

to like the special chin in area? What if it would have jumped to a different spot of the face? And I'm like oh I shouldn't be worried it's not in the danger triangle. Yeah you shouldn't. But they're learning.

It's like Mercer. It gets better and it goes like we should leave the danger triangle. I didn't see any diagrams where the danger triangle was expanding. They haven't come out yet because AI hasn't gotten there. We don't have a new article.

AGI will say the danger triangle is expanded. Yes. Wow. I think that's next. Wait for AGI. The danger triangle and the facial shape triangle are going to be the same fucking triangle soon. Sooner than you fucking... You want the triangle to be expanded so you can be considered a warrior.

And I'm going to take antibiotics every single fucking day until that. Every day. But sometimes I'll stop taking them and then continue taking them after like a little break. I'm going to have a Sunday through Sunday pillbox and it's just going to be a Z-pack. And I'm going to do it every fucking week. You're going to shit yourself eating a single yogurt. Orange shit. I'm going to get the orange.

fucking bacteria shit to get. From one yogurt. Yep. That's good. And then your body will be so powerful. You also have to make sure to take a lot of dumps to dump those antibiotics in the sewer. Yeah. So they die. So that everyone, like fluoride. Yeah. Yeah. Everyone... I think I have one of the most powerful gut biomes

right now. No, I do. What? I think I've cultivated one of the most incredible gut biomes. What do you think? Why? Mine's pushing out fucking baby Tarzan-sized kids. Do you have a bad guile? No. This is tough. That is not a good thing. What do you mean? It makes the strongest warriors. I don't think the goal of pooping is making like poop warriors.

You're a soft baby poop, dude. Do you realize that? Soft poop is good for us. You're an idiot. But it doesn't come from a biome that's fucking awesome and strong. Mine, for one, I've been taking antibiotics for three years straight every single day. So my bioaum is conventionally would stand like a cockroach.

Two, it makes the hardest, strongest biggest poops from the biggest warriors, from the biggest place. You have, it sounds like you have weak, milky poops. For once. What the fuck are you? What is it?

What is it that happened? I had one milky poop. So what did you eat? What did it happen? It was the purged. I think my gut biome, that was the day we just get it all. It's funny yet you're the gut biome guy. The same week that you had the most sour poop. That's not good. That's healthy. That's a bad bio. That's healthy. My body would never give me sour. Every once in a while you take a green weird poop. It was green. That's terrible. That's terrible. My body has never rejected me like this. Wait, why is yours good? What evidence do you have to support this? I've honed it. Can you control it? Like he controls his...

Easily. I guess he has good biome control since he can control the smell. My bomb is amazing. Your biome is not amazing. How? Why do you say this? Your biome, isn't it? Because you are too gassed. I expel the evils. Yeah, because there's skulls and bones and flesh. You got moose from...

Your own biome is the ash area from Elden Ring 3. Okay? Which wait, well, hold on. You mean Dark Souls 3. The whole game is like that. Just the end. where it's all out. Bits of kids. That's his gut biome.

Your gut biome's like fucking magma chamber. It's bubbling constantly. You're like Anerlondo because it's all bloody every time. Mine is Anerlondo because it's beautiful.

Mine's like an Elysian field. People are skipping in my gut pile. Yours is gay. Yeah, there's rainbows everywhere. So it's fine. No. Well.

So it's doing well. I'm okay with it. So it's doing well. And most people are happy. What is the gayest part of Dark Souls? the undead burg um

it's like the most like metropolitan it's the library undeadburg undeadberg ds 1 right yeah ah it's the one of the ones I know he likes that library

amberg um I think um I think my poops I think when I have like a violent one every once in a while I think that's my body just like letting me know

hey we know you've been suffering bro we know that like what it takes to have a biome this strong with the sacrifice you go through yeah to release what we make this makes sense right it's like it's like it's a day for me I get to right have diarrhea what a treat your body is giving guy who about diarrhea this is good

for me yeah I it looks like a charcoal lemonade and that's awesome for you dude diary in the pool I kept thinking about that when we're talking about the pool how crazy is that's one of the craziest things we get to do. Doing diarrhea in the pool. You know what? You know what? Pack it up. We did it, guys.

We got to. That was the code phrase that ends the world. That was the last episode of the yarn. Diary in the pool is one of the craziest things we do. I think I'm getting, picking up what you're putting down. It's such a disruption.

Before you just blindly reject new ideas. I wasn't rejecting. It's like the last idea. It's the final idea. Maybe I'll get to have them. All the AI takes over now. If AI comes up with this, yeah, that would be AGI. Just imagine it.

Imagine it. Do it in your mind palace. I can see it all. I just think I've seen videos on Wimp.com. So question, is my, is my butt submerged in the water when I do this? Or am I sitting on the edge? I didn't say into the pool. I said in the pool, man.

Is it a different joke? Am I fully in the pool or just my cheeks? Dude, what the fuck are you talking about? You're in a pool like you normally would be in a pool. It's over complicating it, but I think it is a fine. question. Like, if I was doing it with intention, if I was doing it with intention, I wanted to make a quick escape, and it was fully clothed, I would probably take my pants off. Oh my God, squat over the edge and stick my cheeks in the water, but nothing else. You think that's more,

that's less conspicuous than just being in the pool. No, but I need to make a quick getaway and not be sopping wet. When you diary in the pool, the magic is that any, it could have been anyone. No, that's, that it's very clear. Thank you, bro. The fog is emerging from one. person. No, no, because if it's crowded enough, yeah. You're thinking of like a sparsely populated, no, you do this maximum damage. You're picturing like a sandlock

a sandlot packed public pool. Yes, yes. There's a couple who are on a road trip through South Sudan and the boyfriend's like, babe, can we listen to my pod? I swear it's good. Yeah. They're on a 28 hour ride with only downloaded

podcast to drinks up. If they made it this far, they're fucking with the vibe. they're fucking with it. Yeah, this is at the end. No, this is her sticking through with it. And then when the podcast's end, she goes, yeah, maybe we switch to an audiobook. Wait, wait, let's save it.

We can save it. If they're going to listen to the whole thing, let's save it for the partner or whoever that doesn't want to be listening anymore. Let's turn this fucking ship around. We can do it through the power of our words. Well, how about we educate them with our global news network? Okay.

GM. Wow. to this just in global news network update welcome to the news and now ludwig with the news I'm the economics leader Ludwig sell everything you have right now become immortal I'm here too I'm I'm Gretchen Knightley here with the news local boy aida McCag diarrhea's in the pool only the butt cheeks in the water local standby to see when the horror We'll stop. Hey,

let, wait, go to go to on the scene. On the scene with slime. Here with weather, 35 degrees at the pool. No, you're hated. You're pooping in the pool.

And that's right, Gretchen, that's right, Gretchen, he took his pants off and just submerged his butt cheeks into the pool, very conspicuously

and many saw and then diaryed into it. Had he done this while just normally swimming, it would have been much harder to do it. detect back to Ludwig with economics

slime back to Ludwig he doesn't get to do it guys if you're on the road trip I'm sorry why dude I don't think you should be going

to blast it out the windows down blast it out the windows to everyone I were geopolitical guy too don't go to Sudan right now it's not the time you're always fucking if not now then when Ludwig if you're wondering what the weather is in Sudan

it's probably fucking raining right now or something I don't know I don't know that's my piece is the weather guy You got a big cloth diaper

with a huge My diaper is sopping and it's probably raining in Sudan that's the weather So yeah I think we salvaged it I think that

this podcast can be for couples It could be for anybody Yeah I think we be for anybody An alarming amount of couples Listen together I learned Isn't that awesome

It's so It's kind of weird I met a couple at at Atricon that met because of the yard they both went on a hinge date and then were apparently struggling to find something

to some common ground in the first like 30 minutes of the date and then they started discussing the podcast they listened to and they both listened to the yard and she liked swimming was the only thing and they've been together for a year how do you feel about that motherfucker white boy how do you feel that we made fucking

that we made love that love happened That we made love. That we made love. How do you feel? How do we fucking made magic love happen? What are you talking? Magic love for you.

How do you fucking care? Do you even care? I don't even fucking know what you're talking about. I'm going to officiate a viewer's wedding this year. I have a cool. Oh yeah, you do have to do that. I got to officiate a viewer's fucking wedding.

You're coming into my face because someone got married. You don't even know. I'm officiating a wedding, bro. I'm a question. You may now kiss each other. Do it in front of me. Do something. Dude, do like the,

um, maybe you do like the magic trick where the, waiter has fire in the wrist and like the channel yeah yeah let me pull the ring oh sorry oh god let's ride again yeah that's wearing a shirt that looks like a suit yes yes the t-shirt with the and you release a dove mm-hmm yeah I can do all that what's what's one thing you guys miss about us are you talking about when we all live together we when we all when we're all together all the time this when slime was in close proximity and so they just would hang out instead of coming up with more elaborate excuses

on what slop is. What are you so mad about? He never used to be the slop guy. You would just do the thing. But now it's like, you would always, look, when you guys would do game board nights in the house, I would go upstairs. Yeah, but that's the same thing.

You would hang out for a bit. You also have played Seven Wonders. Let's not fucking pretend you never played. The last time I played Seven Wonders was with you and you cheated. And so what? A guy gets his double. you. God forbid. We all put a hundred on it. This is in 2019.

You cheated when you bet on the game? I don't actually think I cheated. I think he's lying about this. He might have cheated. No, we didn't know the rules about science. We didn't know the wrong rules. We didn't know the rules. I wasn't like fucking... I love seven wonders. But... But... I do.

I miss that. You would play. You would literally miss me hanging out. You come down like a little... Look a little cat. Because now if I have to ask you to hang out your fucking piece of shit about it. You don't ask me to hang out. You ask me to do...

fucking slop. It's paying slop and I don't want to. See, and that's what you do. But that's the difference is that look. It was slop back then and it slop now. The only thing that's changed is you and once you realize that your world would fucking change. You want to be special, bro. You want him to reach out to just you. Uh, I think I would like that. Yeah. Remember when you got in your car wreck and I came over and I gave you a little animal toy? Yeah. That's not slap. That's not also hanging out. Yes, it is. That's just like comforting a friend. Did he leave after? No, I He left. The fuck are you talking about?

I'm saying, did you give it to him and leave? This is the obvious fair question. It is a very... It's the most normal question. Don't say, what are you talking about? Did I leave after? I'm asking if you're still there. You left eventually.

Actually, I should ask you the follow question. Are you still there too? Let me ask both while we're at it. I don't know if I've ever been back since that car accident. I'm glad we clarified. Wait, what's one thing you? Wait, what's something you guys miss? I think I get everything I need from you

for being here at the office. I think I, yeah, I miss being closer to Ludwig because he's the one I see the least. Yeah, because you say no, bro. Yeah, but I have to drive over. I don't want to do that. I miss playing melee. That's true.

I don't play, I don't play land melee. I don't play any melee, actually, but... That would probably be the only form I would still want to play melee. It's just like, let's take... What if we just played for 30 minutes right now? Yeah, well, it'd be probably like an hour, because it always says 30 than you always do an hour. And then slime gets upset.

And the slime gets upset. See, you stop quiet. Yeah, but that's part of the fuck. It is part of the fun. Honestly, as a throwback, it would be really part of it. It'd be like, it's like old time. Old time that mama used to make. You know what I miss? More than anything, Aiden, is the fucking Patreon episode that we're going to do now. I miss it because it's gone. And you can unsubscribe because we're not doing it anymore. It's end the show.

Yeah, Patreon is now ended. We have figured out of a different way to monetize. We have this new awesome sponsor called Monday.com. MBS bought the podcast this week. We were saving it for the end. But for our last episode, we did a four-person orgy filmed in Indonesia. Which goes against Indonesian law, but we got away with it.

And we won't be going back. And we won't be uploading it for anyone but the patrons. Which is now back. So you can go. See you in the orgy where I truly do, take it all. Bye.