The Yard - Ep. 231 - Christmas Has Been a Disaster…

Episode Date: December 24, 2025

This week, the boys talk about their nightmarish few days before Christmas, making the Mogul Moves Wagyu Ice Cream™, and how Ludwig might go to China to act in a video game! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

That's right. They're dead. I'm just kidding. They're not. I wish Aiden was, though. I would do anything to end his life in front of you all, but it's the holiday season. And me and Slime worked on a music video for the lads, Tricky Mac and Benny T. We've talked about them a lot on the show. Yep, we flew to Australia and paid five figures upwards to shoot a music video for some guys that we thought were really funny. And I think came out pretty well, and we have a big-ass channel. So we're basically using that to shovel it into your mouth. We want to shovel what the slop we made into your mouth.

mouth and enjoy this holiday season. I guess you're all executive producers. We didn't list that. Yeah, your executive producers, Nick's a director, Dan Nigerian's a director, and I help. Yeah, shout out to Dan, uh, lifelong mentor directly the video with me and all our friends who went out there and all the Australian crew. Anyway, back to the art episode. Please go watch it. Link will be somewhere. Archie, you handle that and goodbye. I thought you had a crazy gut bio. I did too. Yeah. I don't know what happened.

I thought you had the biome of a lull cow, four stomachs. I, I, this is never, are we going? Dude, this has never, I was talking about it in the group chat. The group chat is so funny because it's Aman standing there, T-posing, just being like, how's everyone doing? Because he's just impenetrable, nothing happened to him. And we're just describing, like, being chased by wraiths, like, through a forest and, like, shitting. I think I've sat, got up, sat down, got up on the toilet, I think 35 times in the past three days.

Out of crush that number, I think. Did either of you hallucinate? I had, I hallucinated. I felt like I know I didn't, but it was like, I was just moaning. I was just like, a lot of moaning, a lot of moaning, yeah. I didn't moan. I'm going to be honest, there's one comment, I think of last week's episode, and the person was like, you guys have talked about

pooping so explicitly way too much and I'm going to be honest if you feel that way going into our lovely Christmas episode right now this is not the episode for you. Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas. And others. If you're wondering what's going on three of us have food poisoning and Aiden does not have food poisoning. That's right, Cronem. It's another poop episode but this one is more medicinal

because we don't need to talk about our poop. But we, we, it was the mogul moves, Christmas dinner. Gentlemen, let me actually stop you there. Okay. Stop me here. Stop me with your hands, too. I don't think we got food poisoning.

What? Reggie? I don't think what we are suffering from is food poisoning. Why? This is what I said. What are you talking about? Well. What possibly could have made my ass do what it has done?

It's called, and your ass? It's called a norovirus. And it's going around. around Los Angeles. Is that one of those crazy massages? Yes. Japanese women working at establishments are spreading the norovirus.

We know that's been going around. Let me put you on to something. I learned. You can get norovirus from food. Sure. And they still consider it food poison. 100%. Is it?

So, norovirus is a stomach thing. Norovirus is a thing that would upset your tummy, give you a headache, give you the chills, give you maybe a high temperature. Here, let me explain. But you know why I'm saying all this? Why is that? Squeaks is all so sick.

Who cares? Who asked? He's shitting his butt out? He's shitting his butt out? But we got it from you. No. We got it from you. What?

Don't know. Close the context. Why would be so intriguing. What the fuck? What did I do? You guys are patient zero. How? How?

Because, okay. So let me back up a bit. Math it out. So I have a better theory once you're done. For the unafflicted, the truly impartial party, I can't wait to hear what the judge says. Literally no one asked, Judge. Sorry.

It's totally different. I'm on your side, Judge. You're a bitch. You want a fucking CIA funded stomach like mine. I damn do. You want this impenetrable iron dome of the stomach damn do. Yeah, I want it. What can I do for it?

I do want to cover it in some sort of edible liquid. How much, Judge, I'll do anything for a day. It does not change that we all think your wife looks like a bed. Like a bed of a woman. I'll say that, yes. Your wife looks like Snap-on-2 box. Judge. Your honor.

Sustained. What's your theorist? Well, Squeaks and I must have gotten at the same time because we spent a whole week to, Yeah, but why didn't it activate? And it must have been at the tail end. It must have been after the marathon is over. Why didn't activate?

Huh? Because we got it. I'm saying after it was over. Counter to this. My symptoms are a day behind both yours. Yeah, he's lagged. You guys were like shitting your brains out a whole day before me. Bad ping.

Bad ping, bro. Will you adapt? Maybe. I think. You want to hear my theory? My theory is better. Okay. Go back with me.

We're going back to the year 2021. You're Ludwig. You're looking for. for a nice restaurant. Before, after the sub-a-thon. I think it must have been after. Maybe 2022, to be honest. You're looking for a nice restaurant.

You search Japanese on Yelp and you sort by most dollar signs. This really happened. You find a restaurant. I found the spot. You love Japan. You go, this lines up perfectly with me and you go to the restaurant.

You show all your friends. Everything's so great. We're full of wonder and joy. We're eating all sorts of awesome meat. Fast forward, the year's 2023. You take your friends again. You still love Japan. The awesome meat filling you to the brim with joy.

The year's 2025. You're Chinese now. I am Chinese. You go to the restaurant. You show all your friends. China's revenge. Japan's revenge. Japan's revenge. I know what you're thinking

with my theory. Why did Aidan not get sick? Aden is already Chinese Aden has actually remained staunchly Chinese The entire time Double negative What the head Double Chinese cancels each other out

But what about Christian Did Christian get sick? No But he also is famously anti-Chinese Christian's famously anti-Chinese Famously yeah So you're back to doing it Back to doing what

Oh The working class Herding the working class Rememating the working class stories All you're pointing to is our house You're twisting the working class stories from in there From inside our house Inside here

I mean is it Sure you know what I'll say I'll I'll concede this ground It's not my story to tell But you get him Dude you get Christian talking about them damn Huawei phones And he starts throwing shit

Oh my god He tried to break my laptop He said it's a spider machine He walked in like it was the grinch He just has a fucking hammer over it Do you know how many weather balloons are floating above us right now? That's him. Oh my God.

That's Christian. These suits are made for rocking. They're toasty, bro. Zipper, can you post the picture up by putting the group chat? Is it a picture of your poop? No. Please not. That would just be...

I think it's off limits this week. It's cruel. Yeah. We've been doing. Is it wet when you do it? Do you, what kind of question? Is the basketball bouncy? Brother man, I can't express.

Okay, I haven't been this sick Here's why, so food poisoning, I don't really understand it very well, most things I don't understand very well, but one time I got mild food poisoning from this place called Cheebo because I used to order the salmon there and I would get the salmon from Chebo. Yeah. And I'd eat it

and it poisoned me once. Wait, but at that time, didn't you get it delivered? Yeah, I always get it. Delivered Chebo salmon has like a 3x multiplier on. Yeah, you delivered poison to your house. It's like a Balatro Joker. Yeah. Well, I I delivered a vessel for poison.

Yes. So I eat the salmon. It poisons me. I say, you know what? Fair is fair. Sometimes it happens. I keep eating Chebo. I like it.

Yeah. You know, this is actually impressive because most people when they get food poison and get food aversion to what gave them the poison.

I love salmon. I know, but that's what I'm saying. So much. Like this happened to me when I was a kid. I got food poisoning. I didn't like ground meat for years.

Because I got, that's what I got it. This is a normal thing. Well, okay. It's funny that you go fucking probably next day. But I was like, you know what, look, who am I? Am I got one bad experience, you know?

And so I keep a healthy mindset. I get food poisoning again. Yeah. Oh my God, twice? Yes. And this time, like, I felt like, okay, I got chills. But it only lasted like one day and it wasn't that bad. And I was like, that's food poisoning.

I'm not doing that again. Fast forward, we get this again. I'm like, and the Friday, after the mogul moves dinner, I was like, I feel kind of like that Chebo day. And I was like, kind of, I was at the office, I was walking around. I was like, oh, I feel kind of. everything should be okay though I feel cheebo knees come Friday night that night I was like dude I I have never I would trade anything in my life to never feel that way again

yeah it was I was I was I was explaining it too but I was underneath I have a 20 pound like autism heated blanket that goes up to four it goes one four high and I have one of those I do I love it and I still say I like that I've had it for a while And I put it on... Oh, I bet. And I told you, but you don't remember. Stop this. And I put it on four.

Is that it for a while? I don't remember, so you're bad friend. You know what he said earlier? Sorry to cut you off. Please. Earlier, I, the snowman costume is on my chair. And he walks up and he goes, can I the snowman costume? And I go, and I go, what's wrong with this one?

It goes, I don't want to wear this one. And I'm trying to play. I'm like, oh, you don't like it. You like the brown costume. And he goes, I've been thinking about the snowman costume all day. I have. Please let me. I've been thinking about it all day.

Because Rich said yesterday, he's like, no, I got costumes like a snowman and an elf and stuff. And I was like, ooh, snowman. And I like, because he didn't mention this to anyone, but in his head, he's been fixated on the snowman. I'm going to be a snowman, of course. So you're under your weighted blanket. And then what? It's turned up to four. I have two more blankets on top.

Uh-huh. And I'm freezing, dude. And I have a heat on like 75, and I'm freezing. And I can't get warm. And I'm just shaking. And I'm aching. And I'm like, I'm just like swimming. we had the same night in hell

yeah and I was like this is the worst shit and then sometimes it was poop time and so I would like just shivering and I'm alone in the house and you're so much colder when you get up to walk to the bathroom it's so cold bro and I'm just like okay okay

it's time to go and I would just say that I would just say that to myself because I already have verbal pick and I'm alone my girlfriend's back home I guess I'm a fucking low guy that has to go And I would say like And I would say like clockwork

It's time to go Time to go Time to go And I'm like Piping myself up Because it's freezing Bro The first steps are so cold

What? The steps are so cold Oh my God And I'm wearing I'm wearing much like this I'm wearing a hoodie and sweatpants And the hoodie's like on And it's like this

And I'm like So I go And I get up And I sit on the toilet water comes out of my butt and I'm like okay and I bidet and the bidet saved my life by the way Jesus Christ shout out the fuck out dude literally having this bidet has been crew dude I'm still getting 12 wipes you know what that with my bidet I'm still wiping up the 12 times oh yeah yeah what is that about what I went twice it's the whole thing

basically but yeah and so but and I have like you know it's a soft toilet paper and the bidet and I was like if I didn't have this this creature comfort of 30 Not a lot of money You just get a bidet Put on your toilet And I was like My ass would be basically just bleeding My ass would look like a

Like the Joker's face That's crazy That's crazy I gave him one He scared? No I gave him one But apparently he can't install it in New York It doesn't fit with the New York toilet

It's on the yeah They're small bathrooms and shit Apparently I don't know He said it and felt confident enough That he's it's like fact checked I feel like this is untapped market I feel like someone's made it Maybe not yours.

He could probably find a solution. So he's a swollen red. Yes. Sensitive. Yeah, his asshole looks like Darth Mall. Yes. Yes. Spikes and all. Dude, laughing to spiked my fever.

Oh, good. That's crazy. Good. Welcome to work, bitch. Yeah. Okay, so I'm doing that. And I'm like, okay, son. And then you get back in the blanket and you're shivering.

And I'm shivering. And so I take Tylenol. And I'm like, Tylenol. And I'm like, Tylenol. Oh, my God. And that's why you needed the blanket, the weight of blanket. What are you talking? Because the Tylenol, it's circular.

I was like, so I take Tylenol, and I feel better. It solves the body aches and shit. And I felt like, oh my God, I'm back. I still shit water, but everything is okay. I'm going to watch movies. So I started watching Magnolia, two and a half hour movie. And then halfway through Magnolia, the Tylenol wears off. And I'm like, oh, and I'm putting more blankets on.

And it was this fucking hell, bro. This is all Friday? This was all Friday. This was Friday day, Saturday night. That Friday day through Saturday night. Oh my God. And yesterday I woke up and I was back. I was back to the world of living.

Still water in my butt. But now it's like getting solider. It's like I was explaining so Y equals MX plus B situation where it will become solid on a linear scale. And I'll be happy about that. Of course. And it's fucked up, man. You fucked me up.

Where are you at? I'm still like I feel fine. Like my head, my mental's great. Like I'm all there. I can fucking, I could figure out triangulation of a stronghold in Minecraft. Okay. First try.

I feel like you couldn't even do that without the... Fuck you. No, no, no, mind. You look at the eye of ender, you get your degrees, turn left 90 degrees, four long jumps, look at the new eye ofender,

do the difference of the angles. Right. Right. Okay, divide that by a thousand. And kiddo, we're all very proud. We love you. And I can nail that right now. And whatever you want to do,

whatever you want to do, we'll support you. no matter what. I want to kill him. Maybe you gotta do multiple things. Can I kill him? For one of my things? You should do school at the same time. You should finish school.

You gotta finish school. And maybe close instead of the onesie every day. But this is nice. We take it to Target. I look good. The ears, bro. What did you say at dinner? You were like, tell him how you make money doing that.

Like someone's son meeting Ludwig. Tell him how you make money doing the YouTube. With the game. Tell how you do that. Who are you saying that to? I don't know. It was a bit. It was a great fucking bit.

Yeah. Dude, I love, I love, because my perspective of this, you know, I'm cruising. I'm living my normal fucking life. And, but every day in the group chat at 1.30 in the morning, you guys will all check in. You'll do a bad man checking in the chat. And for the past four nights or three nights. Well, I mean, I think. And it's always at one.

30 a.m. It's one of you goes, how's the, like, I'm, I'm squorting, I'm squirting crazy right now. And then two guys, two guys hop in to say how they're, like viscosity is a four, pH, or out of six. Uh, yeah. And I do feel a little left out. I will, I think I took the first stab, because we were all going through this isolated. None of us knew we had it. And so I took the first stab. I was like, how's everyone feeling? Is anyone feeling any type of way? And that's when I felt camaraderie for the first time. Yeah, because you were like, I'm shitting crazy. Because I was shitting crazy. Yeah.

And I went through a similar thing, except all I did was watch football. Well, the first time I got, the first update I got from Ludwig, because I didn't know if he was sick. I actually sent him a text and just said, I'm shitting Ludwig. Oh my God, it's broken. How do you do that? I don't know. Wait, I know how you did that you unscrewed it. I watched you unscrew it.

I didn't unscrew shit, dude. I watched you do it. I think I swear I just tried to tighten it. You guys love to victim blame. I don't. That's a fun thing to do. You're a victim of what? you the victim of? The microphone fucking me. Oh, it fucked you? The inanimate object

fucked you. It fucked me, yeah. That's like when he sat on the shampoo bottle, now we're just two of you. That fucked you. Let's not bring my trauma. Did that fuck you? Uh, I mean, some would say I fucked it. Was the tip? Like, was the cap like tipped? Was the cap? Basically, did shampoo squirt up in your ass? We already went over this. I'm not gonna go over it again, man. It's a good question. Do I need to use the yard search? Do people have to go back? So many people probably I'm not, I'm, it might have squared it a little bit. Okay.

There might have been a little. So it's finished in you. That's fine. It could, it might have, it could have been pre. The L'Oreel finishes it into Nick. It's kind of sad because, you know, it's like you just, you have to get the towel for yourself, you know? Yeah. Like, no, he's not going to, L'Oreal's a bad lover.

I got to walk out of the shower. I'm wet all over the bathroom. Oh, wow, that was found quick. Oh, it was just a test of man. He got cream pied by a shampoo. poo bottle. Oh wow. That's a better joke. Damn, we used to be funny. Um, okay, so yeah, Ludwig just said, the restaurant has genuinely eliminated me. I tap out. My gut biome has been defeated. That was the first notice that I got that he was sick. And then, and then everyone just started, was starting to

spread. Yeah, just describing shit. What did Nick say earlier today? The anti-bodic got my shit neon orange. My shit smell like a dark secret. Dude, it is so weird. It smells so bad. I was laying in there. bed so my girlfriend's been taking care of me like I'm a baby little boy she's been taking care of me so good and I'm laying in bed I'm like my stomach hurts and she's like okay she comes in she's bringing me food and she's like on the low she's like spraying a febrize bottle and I'm like what's that for what are you doing that for and she's like it's it smells like poop in here I was like what you're her poopy little man is it me she's like and this

She was like, usually should be like, no, no, no, it's not you. She was like, I don't know, is it you? I don't know. She was wondering if I smelled like poop. And I'm like, maybe I do. I don't know. Why is it maybe? It's not her.

What are you talking about? Maybe it's him as a human. Like the bathroom is in the same room. So if I pooped, it would leave up aroma. Right. But it could be leaking. At this stage, it's like, you could be leaking directly out. I'm wondering, it could just be me.

I could be, so much has been coming out. I dropped a pill-sized fart, and it was like a, it was a weapon. It was a tactile weapon that destroyed a whole room. Dude, they smelled like sulfur. Yeah. They smoke crazy. It smells like the tarfins. But like pure sulfur and nothing else.

It smells like if you dug a little bit. If you could capture it in a glass bottle and then condense it, it would become the solid version of sulfur. Yeah, like a science class. That you can use in a lab. I've been taking antibiotics and my shit is neon orange. I think the antibiotics is a bad call. and well I don't know it could be bacteria we don't know for sure

because he's got the weakest through if I took it last night I felt so much better today I mean I guess that's good it could have been my day I ran in the corner anyway yeah but I yesterday I was I was nonverbal yesterday I had a demon dream for sure

I was verbal I had a dream or like a night where I was I had a big blanket on me and then I developed a fear of big blankets and big blankets were coming to strangle me envelopment. You hallucinated it. So then I ripped off the blanket and I had like the sheet underneath and then I'd get freezing cold. Yeah. And then I'd have to like face the demon of

accepting the blanket. Dude, this is like, it was gonna kill me. It's like when you get rabies and you become hydrophobic. Yeah. Do you got, what happened? Do you guys? We're talking about. Yeah, dude, we're like if you can't relate, just listen. It was right? But no, for real, it was a biblical experience. Yeah. I've never been, I was this sick 10 years ago. I got the flu. 10 years ago, I remember being like this, never again. You guys are talking about it. Like you came back from Peru and you all did ayahuasca together. You got to hear my hallucination.

I'm not making, I'm not making a joke that's actually happened. So, okay, I don't know if you remember the first time when I had, what did I have? I think it was when I got my tattoo infection and I was having crazy hallucinations. I think I told you guys I invented a language. I'm pretty sure we talked about a podcast. This is like Martin Starr's character and Party Down. He writes a script. Yeah.

Well, this time what it was was I was in this world where the only way to do anything was to do something else. So like, let's say you wanted to scratch your knee. You had to go water the plants in the front yard. And maybe that's scratching your knee or maybe it's like turning on the oven. Everything is linked to something random. So it's a randomizer? Yeah, and you're just looking for whatever the right key is. And in my in my dream, which was also leaking into when I was awake, I believe this was true.

so I would be like in I'd be I'd be shivering and I'd be sweating and I'd be writhing and moaning lots of moaning and I'd be trying to get it to stop and I would just start doing stuff I would just start like throwing blankets on the ground or flipping my pillow upside up give you the access to something else exactly because it'd be be access to like I want to be I don't want to be so cold yeah yeah yeah and when I woke up I just believed it was still true I'm still in the state of mind where you're explaining this to me and I'm like oh yeah yeah I'm just cold coming off of the worst sickness ever and I'm like oh yeah you gotta fucking turn the hose to make the light work

you gotta do it and it was so horrible dude I was like that for at least 24 hours see if you would be so good at doing that I was um see if you get warm so fast he would get warm really fast fuck uh wait zipper can you bring up the picture

I put in the group chat was you hear that music uh that's the dude aden came I came in I came in I was alone in here he was reading a book and crying on the couch. Isn't that fucking crazy? That was like you were crying.

Do I look like Jerry? No. No. You actually cut it. Well, it's more, I think Aidan looks closer. You look like E Honda if he's wearing a onesie. Aiden zip down. Dude, that's a onezy.

Oh, if he had the shirt off. I guess. You look like E Honda if he was wearing a onezy. I mean, he obviously looks a little closer. Yeah, you look like Jerry, bro. Damn it. I know. And I played Jerry.

She has some big toes. I don't ask why I looked, but damn. Did you just look without knowing? She's like the foot person Oh really? Yeah It's funny because her feet are barely in this too Like you're kind of a fuck guy

For seeing that Yeah Jury's literally The foot fetish character I think she literally has 100% accuracy I think she has Ludwig's feet She's like the middle toe

Has the weird bend Yeah And the big ass big toe Jury's got what we call A New Hampshire foot That is your foot The middle toe's not longer bro Oh you have the fucking

Whatever it's called It's pretty long The Roman toe The shallow how dude yeah I'm back to the world of the living oh yeah what else there was this

TikTok I saw it wasn't a TikTok it was an Instagram reel and it was his name is Vladimir the hard money man and I was just saying that over and over

and I was dreaming about the hard money man and it's just this Russian guy who is like is like a lone shark and he makes Instagram reels if you can look him up

Zippar the Hard Money Man and he's just a fucking fat Russian guy and he's like Vladomir How much money you land? He's like, I'd land a hundred thousand. What's the maximum?

No maximum. I have many. I'm Vladimir, the hard money man. And so I was just saying that over and over. What I do? When he's like, uh, yeah. Oh, dude, he looks crazy. Go to Vladimir.

The hard money man. That's the hard money man. If you need hard money, you go to Vladimir. Yeah. That's a simple, yeah. It's a straightforward proposition. How old is he? He could be like 58 or he could be like 36.

No, he's probably like 23. Do you uh do uh scroll down Uh scroll down scroll down Uh Instagram fucks us It's okay You're done scrolling for today

I've kind of I've cracked it When the whole shit When this whole shit's over We keep the Patreon And we just put up a live feed That's in your home with a microphone Me? And we hide it Yeah

And we hide it and that's what we sell And I'm just like yes It's like Alvayas Guys why does the Patreon keep generating money. It's like Albaas, you could donate to give you food. Yeah, you can donate to stop the fridge. Like the horse from Moosa May? No, like Alvayas.

Yeah, but like they all sent... They sent it gifts. Yeah, yeah. And it'll just be... And you'll see him in the corner of the shot. And you just know about the live stream, but you just know food appears. Wow. Watching a 45-year-old man lay on the floor with his phone going Vladimia me at the hard money, man. That's the hole where food comes.

I eat from the hole where the food comes. Oh my God. I have a big like hamster bottle. Yeah, that'd be cool, man. I'm down. I don't care about anything anymore. No, I had ego death during all this. Dude, I did too. Well, I was kind of thinking, like, I was thinking a lot about stuff before I got sick, when, like, how the world seems more ashen and gray these days.

Right. But in like a productive way, not depressed. You guys did do eyewasca. Dude, I didn't have a single thought. Yes, you fucking did. You were text. You were messaging us to your thoughts about your butt and being defeated. I didn't have a... I moved like a bee. I moved like a worker bee and the queen was my ass

and all I did was listen to her. Do you know what I realized? Wow. I love to moaned. That was beautiful. I... Mowing was helping a little bit. You never just went, uh...

I moaned all night. Dude, it feels so good. I made no noise. When you think you're gonna die, just moaning. My night that was like yours. So like I woke up because it was poop time now. I went, whoops, it's poop time now. Time to go!

And I was like, tested and I was like, can this be a fart? And I knew it wasn't. And I was like, it's time to go poop time now. I get up and my walk was like like, like, I had Parkinson's. I was like, fully. Yes, yes. Fully shaking. Oh my God. Thank God you know. I walk. The shivers were crazy. I sit down. I poop and it was like, it was horror. Like when the poop came out, I felt sick and I was also shaking. I get back to bed. I crawl in next to my fucking beautiful ass girlfriend. I got a little girl. I got some poop on my

hand. I'm like, I love you. I touch your face. I love you. Gritty. She's too sweet to you. And she's been asleep the whole time. She doesn't even really know I'm sick yet. And I get it and I'm full body shaking. Just like full body shaking. She wakes up to me shaking. That's how bad it is. And she's just like, what's happening?

And I'm like, I'm so cold. And she like gets up and she gets every blanket in the house and she just puts it on me. Just does nothing. Nothing. No effect. I'm freezing under all these blankets still. Nothing's real. I think my weight helps me. I didn't get caught. I think, I don't think the con.

Like, I got cold, and then I would go under one blanket, and I was like, oh, it's good. So you didn't have the fucking crazy shivers. I had crazy shivers out of a blanket, but then I, oh, one blanket, I was like warm. That's so interesting. I don't think it's a weight, as much as I would love to dog on you for that. I love it. Well, I'm good. Now, I'm skinty.

It could also be. I drop six pounds this weekend. Yeah, we all did, brother. Dude, I definitely lost weight. It's called the norro diet. Yeah. It could also be your bio. I'm out of 182.

You might be. A higher biome tier than that. I'm coming, buddy. Catch up, bro. Anyway, we all got norovirus for Christmas, I guess. Except Aiden. Who still needs it?

Yours is still going to get it. Aiden, Aiden, say Apple? Apple. Stop, stop. When's the last time you were fucked up nasty sick like us? When I was fucked up nasty like that, actually only a couple months ago,

which a theory popped into my head because I had most of these symptoms, but all lighter. when he went to Mexico, no? No, no, no, no. This is when Dr. Noodle Slam and Pedophile Ben were visiting. Oh, what a duo.

What a trio, my friends. My friends. Pedophile Ben, the New York financier? And we were hanging out. We went to Catalina Island and we were on the ferry back and all of a sudden it hit me. I was like, I'm on the, I'm looking at my phone and I look up

and I go, it's time to go now. It's time to go. It's time to go. It's time to go. And then it didn't stop being time to go for three days. Oh, man. And that was two months ago. So maybe I just got this first and I'm immune.

Yeah, I'm pretty sure it's not food poisoning or salmonella. Hey, any doctors in the chat? If you want to diagnose us, this is an open solicitation to do so. Not like when I sleep with a weighted blanket. I don't like that, but you do it anyway. I don't know where we would have got it from. It just seems like it's lasted too long to be viral. It's like lasted like four days.

No, I think it makes it more likely because food poisoning is much shorter. Quick guy. Fuck off. Shoot, food poisoning. The doctor told me the opposite. The doctor is, for what a liar. It would be very weird, I think, for you to have gotten it later for his food poisoning. No, I think I got it the same day.

I just think the symptoms were hitting later. The day we went to the restaurant for the company dinner, I felt some shivers that night. No fucking way. I felt like I took an Advil that day You already had it I felt you gave it to us I felt sensi You gave us that shit

I felt sensi It makes sense that the yard guys got it then Because we spent the day together Why didn't you fucking tell anyone Because I guess I really wanted to spend the day with you I didn't want to get sick Wait so this means I'm contagious And I didn't want to go through it

Wait Hey Aiden Hey Aiden I slept in a different room than Qudy So she didn't get sick Has she gotten it? No, because my shit smelled so bad. Right.

Yeah, mine's smell. Dude. So disgusting. She smelled like old prime rib. Was she infected? Has she been infected yet? No. Okay, this is good.

This is good for me. I would sit on a toilet so long. Her assistant Trisha walked in one time because I was there before she was at the house. She got into the house. She had put her stuff down, put her meal in the fridge, worked a bit, then went to go to the bathroom. I was still in the bathroom that whole time. Yeah, but you're a little key on TikTok.

And then she walked in and, and I, and she didn't know I was in there. And I, and I had to make a noise. Uh-huh. And I didn't know a noise to make. Can you do the noise? Uh-huh. It is, it does come out like that. I'm in there.

Because that was the first noise I made that day. Yeah. It's kind of a desperate. And then she, and then she laughed and then fleed. Well, okay, but besides us getting sick, bro, it's fuck. It's the, it's Christmas. Christmas. healed. Isn't that crazy? We're healed by the power of Jesus. And it's the end of the year

and we have, we have gifts. Wait, I have gifts for you guys. I'm gonna bring it tomorrow for the Patreon episode. That's crazy. Why wouldn't you do it today? You had all day. Because we didn't have this episode planned well. Well, he'll be gone. We had it planned it. We planned it. We did plan it. We planned it. It was always planned for today. Yeah, I had the gifts in my house, but it was always planned for today. It's okay to say I forgot today. Do you get me a gift? No. So why are you doing all this? Let me just bring my shit tomorrow and shut up about it. I don't want to get it.

I don't like gifts. I won't be here tomorrow. Give you my gift to Aiden. I didn't get him one. That's sick. And he won't be here. Give me some. Boom.

And he won't be here. So there's no problem. So why are you on my dick? I'm not on your dick. Not you. I want to be on your dick. When I finish school, I'm going to kill you. And when you let and when you, they get to take turns being on your dick tomorrow, I won't

be it. When I finish school, I'm going to kill you. If we didn't exist, would you let him on your dick? I wouldn't let any of y'all on my dick No, but you said they can be on your dick tomorrow They're on my dick But I don't want them there But they get to do it

I'm saying get off So that's what if you want on his dick You just got to hop on brother Yeah, you need to hop on So if I stayed My butt But then when you get on I'm gonna go hop off

My butt just made a question mark Telling my girlfriend's parents I'm not visiting Because I need to I'm getting on my boss's dick tonight I need to hop on my boss's dick tonight I need to hop on my boss's dick tonight I need to hop my boss's dick tonight

I think that 5 a.m. flight to Baltimore. Oh, 5 a.m. is gross. Dude, I got to leave here at 3.30. You want to Bodymore? Murderland? Yeah. Yeah, you think that's where they're at? You think that's where her parents are at? Yeah, and Bodymore.

In Bodymore, the tougher parts? Of course. Like North Palm Springs. The homicides are dropping. They're doing a really good job. That's great. I love that. Well, what are you guys' resolutions?

I don't have any. Well, think of some. It's the fucking podcast. Think of it, man. I'll fucking think of it. He's dropping shit. His butthole made a question mark. My boat hole made a question mark just now. I look like jury on. I wouldn't even let it, I wouldn't even let my butt think.

I won't let it consider a thought unless I'm over a toilet. I'm just going to overpower it. I thought you were subservient to your butt because she's the cool. She'll lead me there, but I don't let her speak until we're there. I think at the end of the day, she has the final set. She has the final set.

Of course she does. If you, if you withheld from her, she would speak eventually. Last night was the holiday concert and I had to, I was in a rivals event and so I had to... Yeah, you did shit, huh? I did shit, yeah, I had to compete in the rivals event and I was like, I hope I'd make the drive.

And while I'm feeling the drive, my tummy gets all mad. Yes. And she's groveling at me. Oh, it's time. And I bear, and I walk through their front door and I'm trying to play it cool. Yeah. And there's, in Kitska, cutia. event. So somebody, so the front door is locked.

But I see the office from me, he lets me in. I go, fuck yeah. Security. Pat down. She goes, sir, you have to enter through the back. And I go, okay. And then I go through the back. And there's a metal detector. And I have to go through the metal detector. I'm like,

God, your security's so good. And I walk in. You don't have to put your gun away? And the first thing I do is a 15 minute, just hammer. Just shit. Is this a stall bathroom or a one man? Single stall?

There's two stalls. I'm in one of the stalls. Be real. Did you take the big one? The next person comes in. I took the handicapped saw. It took the giant one. You think you deserve that?

Yes. Of course. Yes. I'm genuinely a veteran of this. Like, I should have a purple heart. And I had to wait for people to leave to exit. Because everyone else there is just the fucking streamers at the fucking concert.

So if I walk out After making crazy noise They're gonna be like So I was in the bathroom and I saw Ludwig shitting It's gonna be a Yugi clip It's yep yep yep yep That's why I fucking can't stand about streamers man Narks for the content

They're all Narks You have to nark for the content Disgusting man I mean we do the same thing No no if I walk in and I hear my boy Ludwig And he's just like unleashing a gurgling demon Right like he's screaming It's bubbling

It's farting on the way out I'm not telling anyone I'm walking out and it's like, what, anything crazy happened in there? I'm like, no. Nick, the first thing you would do was tell me. Yeah, it's different. That's different. You're in my bucket.

Okay. I'm not telling extra Emily. Second thing slime does is to say it on the pod. You wouldn't take it. I'm not telling fucking squeaks. I'm not telling extra Emily. I think the difference between you and me is that I go, I go to the QD concert. I hear the bubble man inside, inside of the big stall.

Oh. I hear the bubble man. I walk out. You hear the fucking bubble man outwalk super T. and you're coming on this pod you're being like nothing happened what I would do is if an EMP hit

and no electronics worked in that building or if everyone was live streaming at the same time no matter what I would announce to everyone that the bubble man Ludwig is in there and he is having a crazy time and it smells like shark meat I would do that

because I'm interested in your humiliations I think would you do that with Super TF? I don't know I might not know him well enough If the Super TF, that would be a closed Circuit television. I would tell you guys. Okay.

I would probably say it on the pod because he'd be okay with that, I'm assuming. But yeah, it's case by case. You know, I'd tell you guys, and I might tell like the security guard. Like someone who I know can't do anything with it. And I'm just like, not your burden with this. You know that blonde guy that came in?

He's the bubble man right now. He's the bubble man. I'm the fucking bubble man. Whoops, all bubbles in there. Yeah, his name's Ludwig. Yeah. Oh, dude, I was, I'm so fucking fun.

I was in a conversation with Wake and Connor. Wake? Wake? Wake, he's got a man button, a big old beard. You'd recognize that. Beautiful man. You'd recognize him. Works out a lot.

Got a good vocabulary. I was in a combo with them, and then the bubbles hit. and I just had to I just had to hard end the conversation like I was playing spy party I had to just walk away Yeah, Wake looks like the

Gag Chat man Yeah, this guy is in Texas right? Yeah Dude, I bought a Miata I bought a new Miata Because I really wanted to drive a Bite my shit Yes, I'm biting your shit

The one that's been in the fucking Still bite my shit Don't care You don't drive it! You're biting my shit I'm not biting your shit You know what I'm biting Ryan's shit You're biting my shit

I'm biting Ryan shit You're trying to fucking Discipline your shit place this, you bought a Miata, you're biting my shit. Welcome to my world, boy. Are you buying a K-truck because I want to be special? Welcome to my world, boy. Were you biting my shit? Dude, look at the tires

on that thing! They're sunken! You don't drive it! I'm being fucking rage-baited, like, I'll walk out. I'm glad that you bit my shit. Anyway, it's a manual transmission. It's a great car. Oh, it's a manual? That's fun to drive. It's fun to drive. It's fun to drive. Does the top go down? Yeah, it's a soft top. Oh, yeah,

that makes sense. Anyway, Mine is two... I know. What is this? What color? Silver. What? I hate you gingerbread.

How many doors? I hate you gingerbread. How many doors? I want you to get lost under the oven, gingerbread man. So you bought a me out, what are you just for funsies? Yeah, I just... You don't like your RAV for? Well, I haven't wanted a manual for a while and I...

What it cost you out the door? They're cheap, huh? Dude, it was under 40 out the door. Whoa. It was no, no fucking problem. What year is it? New. 2025.

Did you cash it? No. You actually can't do that right now. They don't do that. Really? You can't be like the hard money man and show up. Even if you go like, all right, I won't take it then. I'm going to leave.

Vladimir. Well, maybe. Maybe if you said that, they'd like bend rules, but they were, they, they, someone else tried to do that next to me is family buying like a SUV or something. And they were like, we can only take $9,000 total right now. The hard money man shows up and wants to buy a car and can't? I don't know. They have car dealerships are weird

They lied to me I had to like look at the day It was so fucking crudgeoned They make good scrella off You not buying it I don't know But yeah Like someone else will

I hate that Think they're allowed to get Better deals Like they can sell for less They also want you to finance it It's the whole thing But so I But yeah I'm driving around

I got it Friday Which is a day Right before I got really really sick And so I have it And I'm like okay cool Whatever And I drive a little bit And then Saturday

I took a tile and I felt better so I'm like alright I'm gonna go to 7-Eleven I'm gonna go get a Gatorade because I actually used the fucking Instacart for the first time ever because I was like I can't leave the house I'm freezing and I

had a man bring me Gatorades It's like this is the only thing I need Could I have two Gatorade? Yeah it was I was like This is so insane even though it's like ordering food It's not much different so I fucking have the Gatorade man come but I'm like okay I'm not gonna use the fucking app I'm gonna go and get in the car and get the Gatorades myself dude as soon as I get in and I'm like halfway to 7-Eleven I'm like it's time to go

it's time to go so it's time to go now and I fucking flip a U-turn it's like 2 in the morning I flip a U-turn and I just I bark that bitch dude I bark at home dude and there's no way you're getting back in the car after that and I run in and I bet I almost shit my meata with less than a hundred miles on it bro oh my It's like that drinking commercial Where it's like have you had in the drink and the guy opens the door and all the beer comes out of the fuck Yeah, you just troves of shit Like more than a man's worth like have you had any high dining Japanese food?

Officer I need you to hose me down Hose me Hose me down officer It's like when those old stories are like that Christmas story of the The homeless guy is cold on Christmas so he commits a minor crime to get locked up so he can stay warm for the night, but it's me with a shitty ass. Trying to say warm at the detention center?

Yeah, I can get hosed down in the cell. Hose me, I need to be warm to night officer. Next to the drunks. You roll the window down, the cop will let you go. You're good. Jesus Christ. Do you think... Officer Silva, I'm calling this one in. With the way you smelled Ludwig,

do you think that if a cop pulled you over that it would be probable cause to search your car? Yeah, 100%. Do you think you'd smell it and be like, what are you got in here? I would think... Isn't that that new weed? I would think they'd think I was bombing a New Year's Festival with what it's not like.

It was bad, man. Yeah, I left the... I'm so, really honestly, so sorry about this whole episode. All the feelings, by the way. You smell nice now. Yeah, when I shit, it doesn't change the rooms. You're used to it. Is it no smell?

No, no. I'm not used to it. I'm saying I've changed the room. makeup. Oh. You add nothing new to the room. You've changed the chemical makeup of the air. Yes. It's like Mars. I did that so much that now I like I add no impact like all the chemicals that left my body. He's in the fucking kitchen. Mercer had to adapt to my shit and like the eglue thing from the Martian to keep the food safe. Yeah she's going full mad damage. She's covering the walls. She tried to keep the hydrant.

I had to go. It was time to go. And then I left the room for a little bit. I laid on the couch for a while. And I came back in and I smelled what I imagined she was smelling all day. And I went, oh, no. No, she's used to it too. Don't worry.

She's not. I was like, oh, no. Did you throw up? Dude, not once. I did once. You threw up once? Well, yeah, I got really nauseous. And that's why I slept in a different room is I couldn't handle the smell of cat food.

Really? Yeah. Was it kind of like I'm going to go throw up in 10? Or was it like it's coming? Uh It's the smell of my own shit Like a dog? My shit smelled so bad that I had to flip around and throw out

I'll say this, that's never happened to me Okay, maybe you even censor this part, Archie No, no, no, no You flushed first? It was separate enough. Really? You promise? Like, yeah, yeah, like I shit, it smelled bad, I was like, I'm gonna throw up.

And then you flushed. Then I flushed it. And you turned around. Then I lied down, I was like, maybe I don't need to. Oh, there was a break. And then I got up and I was like, I should. Okay, okay, because he said it flipped around. So I was like, that's called the margarita.

I thought, you know, ew, ew, like, gross. Fucking yucky. Well, just say, you know, I don't care. I don't fucking care. No, keep it in. I don't fucking care. He's talking to go. I thought you're making it all up, man.

I thought you're making all up. This is all natural. So he didn't have to come on lemonade stand. Oh, yeah. It's beautiful. You were going to, you asked him before me. Obviously. Why?

Because I'm way more business-oriented. Like, I buy a lot of. a stock. You buy stock? I guess I've never, ever, ever bought a stock. And he buys commodities. And I buy commodities. He buys a lot of screws. I have a lot of physical goods. I have a lot of physical goods that I keep. It is disgusting that you would not even offer me a chance to be a part of your fucked up show. Your time will come. You also talk about them like they're pretty bad people. So do you. You have never said a good thing about Doug Doug on this show. That's not true. That's not true. What did you? What have you said?

looks like Connor. I've said he's handsome before. I said his chest his chest muscles look bigger than any man's I've ever seen. It looks like Anthony Joshua. Yes. But kind of like a, what do you call him? He was our last episode of the year. And Ludwig

starts shitting everywhere, puking everywhere. I felt bad, dude. I was trying to make it. That was the night I threw up and I messaged at like 4 a.m. You did give us a 24 hour heads up, which was appreciated. That's how I knew it was bad. I could beat Ludwig's episode if you have me on. view was. What would, what do you think that episode is? That's for them to figure out. That episode, that episode is them trying to spark any conversation and you're going,

oh, Doug, talk about AI again. Zipper is laughing so hard and so is the guy who is on the show. So what are we doing? Where's the value? Where's the value? Maybe it's right here for 90 minutes. It doesn't. We've been doing it for four years. Yeah, but you don't shut us down constantly. Sometimes I do. Yeah, sometimes, but like 80% of the time. You would shut down every word A truck's head. Dude, it would be, it would be an all-star game. It would be, dude, it would be the globe-trotters, beating the Washington generals.

Dude, imagine. Just good home cooking, bro. We're the Washington generals? No, A-Truck is. Imagine they all just do their research and they come prepared a shit and they just mug your ass. With, because A-Bathealm does not argue- Facts and logic from-

Never win. Slam is arguing in like the most- I'm not saying the research. research goes into the fucking what happened in Russia. I'm saying like they read like the in the Witt Olympics. Oh, that'd be amazing. Here's the thing. I wouldn't be mad about that. If I'm best in the Coliseum, they wouldn't. I know. And they wouldn't. And they wouldn't. And they could never. And they could never. And there is an ethereal beauty to this skill. What are you doing? Is that real? Oh. No, it was a prop. Why are there there holes in there? Why does look like 50 cent? It's an animal. Oh, God. It's a dog. It's not moving. Oh, it's a dog? He's like, I'm going to give your dog SIDS. What? He would have yelped if it was bad. Did you get a fucking, a Mianna instead of a dog?

Huh? Did you get a Mianna set of a dog? I don't think it was between. Are you over your dog dreams? You can only get one. You can only get one. I think about a dog, but every time I do, I'm like, ugh, it's probably not a good idea.

Again, I'm being considerate for the dog here, man. Seven years. Seven years. Seven years. I found out I have been a wiring money to a one Carl Shetard. No. You've been wiring money to the Shetards? I have been wiring money to the Shetards every month for seven years. Oh my God. Why?

Yeah, why? Wiring. Well, because I was a big fan of their content. Yeah. How much money have you been sending? 7,000. $7,000. Total, right? Total? No, just a year. A year? For seven years. Yeah. That's $42,000 of you've been Carl Shetard. He made the Shatards, man. Ludwig, how did you find out you were doing this? Uh-huh?

How did you find out this was happening? Rocket money. Rocket money helped you figure this out? Rocking money helped me figure this out. Lovey, I know what you're thinking. I know what you're thinking. Rocket money is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions. This wasn't supposed to happen.

No, unwanted wirings either monitors your spending and helps lower your bills so that you can grow your savings. Why did Carl Sheetard take it for me? He didn't really take it. You kind of offered it to him. You gave it to him, so that's the problem here. Thank God Rocket Money was around to detect this. Whose fault is this?

It's your fault. It's a thousand percent. It's a thousand percent your fault. Rocket Money can undo your mistakes or your lack of... Do you think he'd accept me? I mean, the Rocket Money Dashboard did make it abundantly clear to you. Because you can view all your expenses and where all your money's going, all your accounts. And I mean you one of you, Carrow.

Right. So you're using this opportunity to... Have you stopped the money sending him? No. Okay. Oh. You have to stop sending the money. They can cancel your unwanted subscriptions.

But if I cancel it, then maybe you won't accept me. Okay. Rocket Money actually... Rocket Money actually can't do that. They do gymnastics. They don't even need us to say they can. Very much of you problem. I wanted to go to the gym. They can do 90% of this though.

It can cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with RocketMoney. Go to RocketMoney.com slash the yard. That's rocketmoney.com slash the yard. We're going to do it together and we're going to stop this sequence of transactions. Yes, we are. We just need Carl to find out about it.

I don't think he's gone out, man. You are now watching the Shatard vlog. So sit back, relax. Follow along to the thing. Let me ask you a question. Yeah. In the Christmas spirit. If you got me a gift, right?

I got you one. Something that you thought I would really love. Yeah. And then you show it next year you realize I never even touched it. Okay. Okay. And then you're like, but I don't tell you that. Like a man.

I don't tell you that. Sure. Would you give me a gift to say next year? Would I get you a gift next year? Yeah. Yeah. Are gifts given conditional on the love of the gift? I don't know.

I'm asking what you think. I would think no. I would think I give the gift for the love of the man. another gift. I would try. I don't use it at all again. Hmm. I... Third year. I think I would pivot the gifts that I'm giving. He would try to get better gifts. If the gift was good enough, he would use that shit. Yeah. Last year, I got Ludwig and Xbox 360. And he gave me a date that he would play it with me. Oh, no. That date passed. What was the date? It, dude, is eight months ago.

Did we say the year? What? Did we say the year? Dude, it was like, it was like a, it was like, it was like, it was like three weeks after I gave it to you. No, but did I say the year? It could have been any... Did you say the year? Did I say April 25? No, you didn't say the year, I guess. So then, like, what are we doing? It was probably 2029. Probably. And I'll be seen that day. The servers

will still be up. Of course they will. I mean, they're up right now. So your, your question was actually reluding to me. It was actually a Trojan horse. It was actually a trick. Yeah, it's a bit of trickery. Yeah. I would get me some awesome shit. Okay. I'll get you smile some shit. But also

let's not forget when you gave that gift what you said. What did I say? Said I'll set this up for you. It is set up. No, it's not. No. Oh my God. Don't forget what you said. It's in a cupboard. No, don't forget what you said. I remember you fucking said. I said, do you want me to set this up for you? You said, no. I'll have Nick Yingling do it. Don't forget what you said. Wow, your dick is

so much bigger than that. She's so awesome. And then what you said is you went in its opposite day. So you only said that because it's opposite day. And then you said, oh, you're right. That was where it ended? And I have a dark thought. I want to kill myself sometimes. And I've never said this to anyone, but I really think it.

And then the conversation stopped. Yeah, I left. Yeah, that was on the show too, which was weird. I left abruptly after it. Kind of blacked that one out. Good times, though, right? Yeah. I think what that's a fun.

Kind of a good gift on the next part. I will say this. If we're bringing up past year resolutions and such, Zippre, can you, I put a link in the chat. Someone actually, a couple of people brought this up on the subreddit. Oh, this is, Will Ludwig Renew his two-year friendship contract with Nick. Can you play this? Trying to streamside you guys for two months.

No way. Is he in here? Yeah, it's on in here. He didn't get in. Dude, that's evil. You're asleep for dinner. You almost made him leave. Dude, you shot him in the head.

You did leave. Yeah, you made him leave and I had to convince him to come back. Fuck you. I was, yes. You guys are going to be bad. I'm not renewing after the two-year contract. Wow, two years of frigid, frigid friendship.

It's going to be a lame duck season. Two years, December 21st. I said I wouldn't renew my contract because of that treason. Oh, so you're saying we had a two-year contract to friendship. I had a two-year contract friendship already at that point. And now. And I'm saying after the two years is over, I'm not renewing because you did that.

And is this the two years up? And so the two years is up. So now I could choose to not renew. Oh. And now it's, we're in a, there's a negotiation here. Have I said you your offer yet?

You haven't said the offer letter. Because the number's going to be juice. You haven't sent the offer letter. And I'd love to see it. Yeah. I'd love to hear it. Do you have it? I don't have it prepared on me

because it's like a really big offer. There's like more people I got to clear it through. There's more people got to clear it. You got it yet. Galby is sent it. Well, you know, Oh, it's due on the 25th. It does got to go through Calby.

It's got to go through Calby. He's got to redline it. Here's the deal, Nick. I actually, like... I wondered this might come across mean to him. Mean? You never care about that normally, so that makes me think this is really mean.

Mean. Sorry. That was very Tom Cruise in Magnolia. I just saw that movie. Reference downloaded. I don't feel bad. about that anymore after watching you play League of Legends. Why?

Because I saw a man become a boy. Oh. I know it's you. And you don't hate a boy. I see. You can hit a boy. So if you were Anthony Joshua, maybe. I actually don't feel bad about that because I saw you play mid as Gallio.

He did download your Gallio game and watched it intently. That's so embarrassing. I had to. I had to. I played a one. He played an offline mid- Gallio and I went and watched it. My first ever midgame

and he's watching it and he's fucking slow stroking because he's hit gold after 8,000 game. Me soon up in the I'm in the Apple Vision Pro. I'm watching Ludwig's one midgame on Gallio full screen. Just jerking.

You're in a cyber truck. It's on fire. Is that iron? Iron 1? Oh, 3.2 CS per minute. I actually think the issue was it was a gold two gamer, gold three Yeah, that was the issue. That was the issue. Yeah, 100%.

Wait, are you being... I just, it's welcome, welcome to the lane. The lane is harder in gold than it is in iron. What rank should you be playing at? If I'm learning, ideally iron or bronze. Welcome to the lane, motherfucker. I shouldn't be learning in gold. Frosty says, welcome to the lane, bitch.

What made you boot up? Uh, just to try one out. Wait, was this turn... Was this turn... Was this turn in poop time? No, no. This is not. This is like two months ago. Oh my god.

This is when I was setting the world on fire with my electric run. Yeah. The world's wondering when you're going to be back. You said you might light up the world again. Dude, I found out the season ends on the sixth. I don't have a lot of time. You guys want to leak your idea? Yeah, we can leak it, but you should make a run.

Come on. Dude, okay, so it's supposed to flood in two days, and I hate being wet. So I, it... Sorry, what are you fucking talking about? What is it? No one laugh. No one laugh. Just listen. Listen and understand. What do you mean? No, why you have to tell people not to laugh. Sorry, sorry, sorry. I was laughing at Rich. Rich. Rich.

Rich said something funny. There is a flash flood warning in two days from Los Angeles. We're gonna get six inches of rain in a day, which is a lot. What is funny? And you're scared of getting wet? I'm not scared of getting wet. I hate being wet. What do we? What the fuck? Hey, hey. Hey, quit it. Okay. People hate it. being wet. What the fuck are you talking about? Do you guys like being wet? Yes, I do it every day. What are you talking about?

It's gonna shower. Obviously, a shower is a controlled wetness. I love taking showers. I took like nine showers on its butt showers. What are you thinking is going to happen during this? When the wet is controlled. You hate a surprised wetness. Who does it?

I'm... What do you think is going to happen during this flood? We hear the point even if you don't yell. So, there's no need. This makes no sense. Well, let's stop. Listen, so there's a flood coming. You think the water is going to breach?

There's a flood and we hate being wet. You guys are making me feel like I'm crazy. You're not crazy. Brox is not crazy. You hate being wet, hate being wet. Rudolph hates being wet. Rudolph, you hate being wet too. I hate being wet.

Okay, listen, there's a fucking flash flood warning for two days, which I hate being wet. Basically, what I'm saying is if I had to play league all day, then I would have to be constantly, I have to set up a drainage thing because my driveway floods and it fucking freaks me out because it like

the water comes up and I hate I hate water damage I hate being wet and I could I would be distracted and I hate the rain it's very it's like so

that's a day off the table you're worried about having a thing you're worried about while you stream 100% or being wet if I was wet it would also suck walk me through this fucking day

when you're not playing what are you doing what are you fucking yelling at the water It's like, what do you think you're doing? I have to manage a pump outside. So last year, last year in January or this year, I fell into the Mogi hole again. I was playing a bunch

of Mogi. I remember that. So, you know, Mario Kart, I'm locked in and Dan from Canada was visiting and helping us out with some stuff around the office. And he taps me on the shoulder while I'm finishing up the Mogi. I got like 15 minutes left, right?

He's like, just, you know, there's like some water in the warehouse. like it looked because it was raining really heavily and when this has happened in the past like we have these little holes and leaks pop up we've seen it in here you just like plop out a bucket wait for ride it out maybe get the hole fix later no big deal and i wait the 10 50 minutes i realize over the course of that that slowly the other people in the office cam yingling christian are disappearing from the room and i'm alone upstairs all of a sudden mokey ends i walk downstairs there is literally a waterfall of water coming down the side of the wall onto the electric breaker. I remember that. And I had just spent 15 more minutes playing Mogi not like of course it couldn't be this bad. And we had we had it it flooded last year at the same time in the building. Did you like that? No. No. I didn't like because because then slime the reason I brought it up was I didn't like the idea of returning to the game after. I was like I have my whole day but what if this just keeps happening? So we're

We're fucked. So it's... No, I mean, we're fucked. Did you fix the hole, bitch? Everyone's leaving. Hey, hey, warehouse, bitch, did you fix the hole? We fixed all the holes in the warehouse. Good.

We think. That's what I'm saying. Like, that's what we think. Anyway, that's a day off the table and there's only... I would love to be a fucking contractor who fixes holes when it's dry. Yeah, but you hate it's hard work. That's what I'm saying. You do when it's dry.

It should be good when it rains. And then when it rains, it's not good. And it's like, ah, it's all right. Contractors hate being wet. Contractors hate being wet. That's why they wear them. damn booties. Mm-hmm.

Yeah, so to prepare for this, again, the water rises up and it gets, it gets fucking everywhere, and it's, it freaks me out because it could damage shit. Just put a log across it. So I've tried that, but I went to the store today, and I literally bought a rain suit and, like, rain boots. I look like a fucking serial killer. And I have all this shit, I have a... You really hate getting wet.

Dude, I hate getting wet. And so, but I'm finally doing something about it. And I have a sump. It's called a sump, and I have an extension cord, and I have a hose. I have this whole system to drain out if it's not flooding too bad to drain out so my shit doesn't get wet so you don't get wet

because you hate that. He doesn't like when his shit gets wet as much as he doesn't like getting wet. Six inches of rain in a day is crazy. You guys are going to be sitting at home and be like this is crazy and I'm sorry this coming. You said six inches of rain and I was like okay that's what I thought dude you're gonna be gone

I won't be here I'm gonna be gone it's always so I'm here I won't be here and I won't be here and I bet the rain won't be bad. Anyway, it's a day off the table. It'll be great. There's not a lot of days to get to platinum,

which is the idea, but we'll see. But the idea with me and Ludwig, two men, one room, white room like Iran. Iran white room torture, you know what I'm talking about. We're butt-ass. Butt-assnake.

Race to plat. Scene. Both midline. That's a great idea. And we literally don't leave the bitch. What? Because we might also do it together. Uh, dual, bought dual, it would be awesome.

Oh, you're cooing together. And we're my cue together. I'm down for that. I'm down for against each other. I, but playing locked in a room with league legends, I want to do it again. I want it. What's your goal here? He's already hit play.

It would be doing it through a lane. Is it just to be butt ass? Well, I guess that would be part of the goal. Slime being butt-ass with blood. What if there was some of, what if somehow you guys were made to be wet? is it a surprise when it happens yes I don't like that idea

every time we lose a bucket of water drops on you on our computers and shit yeah but the computers don't get affected yeah magic computer uh that'd be fine it'd be fine I would know it was coming a planned wet you don't the water drops randomly

a wedding no out done one to 30 minutes after losing Uh, no, that's fine Okay Right, so there's rules here You see, I'm not fucking crazy One to six hours after losing And it stacks, obviously

Because you lose multiple times Of course I think the Ludwig slime League marathon goes crazy But when the hell are you guys gonna do that? I don't fucking know He's always so busy I'm trying to pencil him into

Nasty fucker Also it's like, what do we do, bro? August. What do you want from me? He's being dead ass Nothing, man. August? Hey, if we're still

Good luck playing no league until August And then going to Platt Wait, this actually... That should be easy This actually makes sense I've hit Platt twice Because you You could stream your solo journey to Platt

At the beginning of this year Then you're both on an even playing field You're both people who have hit Platt And one role And now you duo together in new roles And see if you can make it, butt ass What new role is left for you? ADC support?

me yeah it's just bottom lane I don't touch bottom lane I don't like it down there it's tough down there that's the hardest lane yes pretty hard it's doubles and I hate doubles but yeah I'm down if it's August

it's 2029 same year as his shit renews in the same year how about you do August 29 you do this with me and then you play Xbox with Nick no no I'm doing that the Xbox is 2029 we gotta do this 2026 2026 you mean it

shit motherfucker But the Xbox is coming. Disgusting what I endure. He's scheduled it. Being his friend. Dude, he scheduled it. That's big for him. You're on his side.

He doesn't schedule a lot of stuff. He doesn't schedule a lot of stuff. He doesn't schedule a lot of stuff. He's kind of like, you got to take it. And I'm on his dick. He never said what year he'd do the next merch meeting with you. So,

so you know, that might be 2029. And my life is constant anxiety and fear. Yeah. You're making him bald, meanwhile, meanwhile, what did he just give you the gift of certain?

Aiden loves to fucking opine and come on here and being like I just need 15 minutes I need 15 minutes with them And I can't get 50 First off, whoa It's not Yes it is

Zipper look about pine It is it comes It's gonna be really embarrassing Wait wait wait to get to yours first I'll give you five seconds It's an opinion So to opine is the verb of that To give an opinion

You know what don't even pull it up This is bullshit Makes sense That sounds actually like it's right Because I knew you do shit like this I know you do shit like this I know you'd say I know you'd say some shit.

I mean you'd say some dumb shit like that. Slime gets a fucking W for Christmas. Brosty gets a W. Um, what? Aden fucking lies. You come on here and you, and you try to go out. I will say this, Aden, and I hate this guy.

But you'll say, dude, I just need 15 minutes. And then I'll go fucking take a dump, walk around. I'll lift some weights. I'll come back up here. You're still talking to zero off. It's been 46 minutes. He'll just lies about how long it. 46 minutes.

And then he gives me, he gives me like a 30 second heads up of when he wants the meeting. That's a reindeer smooch. You know, for the guy who complains that I don't plan enough, his whole tactic is, hey, can you meet in now? And it's like, I've actually planned on my day pretty well. Ooh, dude, when he gets sassy about his time, ooh. Hey, this is the guy who's side you're on. And that's the guy your side, that's the dick you're trying to slide on.

Six inches at a time. Side on. Thank you for thinking that. At a time. Yeah. Comedy podcast. Can't argue. I'm joking. Dude, you know what I was thinking about when I'm putting this costume on? One, I look like Jerry Hahn. Two, all snowmen are bald.

Oh, well, depends if the creator puts hair on them. No, bald people, snowmen get bald. They get that. They get that. They get that. They get that. They get that. Bold people get snowmen, I should say. Bald people get snowmen. What about? Don't say, but. Just fucking one-up.

Every snowman is created, correct? Yes, but every snowman that is created with hair has a wig. No, but that's what I'm saying is like... But if inherently putting a wig on a snowman is its real hair, because I've created it. No, even when they come to life, it would still have a wig. When it comes to life... See, that's a snowman with hair. That's a bald snowman.

That is a bald so man with a wig. Who went to turkey? Oh, I'm sorry, when the snowman comes alive and I take its arms off, it's fine. it's not no I'm saying in this example when you when the snowman comes to life it would literally be awake can you look a bald snowman is every snowman a double amputee no I'm saying if you say yes if every snowman is a double amputee then every snowman can be bald a lot of snowman are to be clear but not every well now see that's interesting because the third one of bald snowman is one with hair yeah that kind of backs you guys I mean if the sticks can be arms why

That is over for Mick to see. Find me a snowman with good hair. Posting on R slash bulb. But they have, it's not about it being good. It's about the snowman having it. I was asking if there's one with good hair. It's a separate question. Is there a snowman with good hair?

That one we thought was pretty simple. Put it this way. If I, a bald man put on a wig, do I have hair now? Do you say that guy has hair? Fourth image. Fourth image from Pinterest. That's fire.

Tell me he's bald. That's a bald. That's a bald snowman. That's a bald snowman. with a, it looks you have to answer this honestly if the sticks can be real arms. Why can't the sticks

be real hair? It's an important question. Is that what I look like me? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's you with your glasses off. Hey, hold on. Where my hug?

I think if you texted that picture to your mom she wouldn't ask any question. You'd be like, lovely picture of you. She like looks nice. you on Christmas. Where is this? I'm glad you're having a good week, honey.

He's got my eyes. Yeah, uh, thank you for coming to my TED talk. I feel like it came with more dissent. When's the last time you all built a snowman? Never. Shit, boy. Never? I grew up in California.

Oh, fuck. Louser. That is so reasonable. I must have been single digit age, man. It's been a long time. Really? It also quits snowing in Colorado a lot where I grew up. Global warming really did slow things down.

you need a real certain kind of pow for that you need pow pow well you don't need pow you pack you pack not pow not pow not if you get that fire pow that's for the mountain fire power you go to the mountain we're gonna fucking hit some fucking slope I built one last year fucking lick on the slop what do you fucking I get fire pow you guys it's not like a slop

did you get CTE from snowboarding or making a snowman he watched Johnny's Phidami what what dude there's fire pow on the mountain is firepower is slow is fire pow in the are you saying the fire pal on the slope this okay

you're doing a great job they do talk like that the mountain folk the ski instructor like jerk off guy like they're dwarves no those are different those are the people that make chili out of the fresh pal guys I've heard that they talk

the fresh pal guys is real you see that photo of the guy who went to war yeah yeah he went to World War I yeah he's all fucked up there's this surfer kid who surfs and he posts on there's dad posts on TikTok like every day this kid's out there it's like

alright 630 are you ready to surf bud and the guy the kid's eyes look like the war veteran oh like you don't want to surf no no no apparently you get surfer eye if you surf a lot you pull up surfing kid

zipper it'll come up yeah okay there's not a lot of nothing wrong with this I don't think yeah so this is the kid when he's like 11 he's like 15 now can you click on his page Dude, my idea was it to come down here this morning. Is it always your...

Dude, I didn't realize the... This is what all my cousins look like. All he does is he surfs every day and he loves it deeply. I hope he loves it because what looked like in his face, what was like I can't do this one more minute.

He looks like he doesn't speak any language. He has none. He's one of them kids that just never learned. He's one of the most beautiful ones and it's the board Yeah, it's what all my cousins look like. Does it explain why are the surfers? Yeah They all yeah, yeah, because when you surf, you have a lot of sun a lot of wind a lot of water that answers your eyeballs Yeah, that's it all the all the fucking all the salt water and I don't think they do a lot of protection of the eyes and surfing No, it's not like on the mountain. I don't know why they don't wear goggles That's why you were The hair color is crazy

How all surfers get that fucking bleach blonde Yes Yeah just naturally from just insane amounts Of sun and salt Oh is that how it happens Yeah that's so crazy Oh for real Yeah that's why they all got that bleach blonde hair

I did not know that I thought that was like a cunty like Girl Like they go It costs like 400 bucks Oh no no no no no no It was a crazy amount of sun exposure Wow

Yeah on the on the mountain If you the goggles are tinted Because the sun bouncing off the snow and it sunburned your eyes. Yeah, I knew that. Yeah, it gives you a snow blindness. Yeah, it's pretty fucking badass. You see that guy, Aidan Saw us, I think,

the guy who skied Everest, the first guy to do it? The Red Bull guy? He's a Red Bull guy? He's a Red Bull man? He's a Red Bull man. He was the first to do it. He was the first to ski from the top to the bottom. He's the first, some first subcategory of it.

Why don't you lie for Red Bull then? And one of the first to do it. Well, who was it? That's what it says in the Red Bull video. So can you say Rebel lied? They didn't lie. You just got it wrong. How'd it get it wrong?

And that's fine. How'd get it wrong? Who's just first do without oxygen? That's what I was. Okay, sure. That's what I was. The Slovenian alpinist. You guys were talking about the haze and the hallucinations that you were going through?

Imagine that, but you're skiing down Everest, and that's what he did. I felt like I was skiing Everest. Yeah, but he was doing it. I actually think what we did was harder than what he did. It was braver. Yes. Yeah, harder, probably too. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, and a lot more poop involved. Way more. Almost certainly. Way more. Because that video was so white. And man, one session, I would have fucking changed the whole mountain's landscape. Yeah. They'd be like, well, a snow go.

It's just mountain again. Was it like you'd be caused a little avalanche going down behind you? It would look like a mericon dream. Okay. Okay, and that's Stephen Colbert's flavor, by the way. Ben and Jerry's. And they're both gone. Ben and Jerry?

They broke up. No. You know who else died? Well, yeah, but I think they left for, because they didn't have control or some shit. Ben left because they were fucking, they were two fucking right wing, bro. But then Jerry left for the same reason later.

Yeah, I thought they were both like lived out ice cream lord. They are lived. But then they lost control. But why did they leave Ben and Jerry? Because they didn't have control of their company. But they're Ben and Jerry. Yeah, but they probably gave up it enough

to not control the shit. It's owned by something else. What if you sold Ludwig YouTube channel to Airack? Does he change it to ARAC live? Has a YouTuber made ice cream yet? Dude, that's a market. No, it's not. Yeah, it is, bro.

How? Okay, Ryan Trehan's candy went crazy. Did it? But it's ice cream. We can't... Joyride is massive. We can't ship it. No, you have to go brick and mortar.

You set up a distribution network. We go Rick and Morty with it. Is Ryan Traihan's candy successful because he's doing brick and mortar? Yeah, he's in Target. I mean, yeah. For real? He's... Yeah, he's the number one best-selling candy and Target. What the fuck? Are you kidding me?

No. I'm telling you to wake up. I don't know shit. I'm telling you to wake up. Today is a day I admit that I don't know shit. Imagine a mogul mint chip. Oh, bitch, and it's green. Mogul mint. What are we doing? It's mint. Oh, I'm sorry. Do you want to make a million dollars, Aidan?

Or do you not? My ice cream's not green. You want to stop, do you want to keep dropping t-shirts for 20 grand a year, pussy? I'd love to do that. 20 grand a year? Sounds like a great business. I like this idea. Oh, Mogul milk.

He likes it. I like this idea. You talk to him about. about this for 15 minutes of piece of shit and we put when we and we change this warehouse hey do you want to meet up this? Oh shit? Fuck up for a second. We don't think about this. We don't think about this. We feel the warehouse with hay and just we have cows down there and we feed those cows so well. We make Wagyu ice cream. You know what I'm saying? Fatty. We get fatty ice cream. We get the most beautiful cows that are fed so well that the

ice cream's got it. You know how the Wagyu's got the marbling? Yeah. The ice ice cream has that ice cream's made of meat ice cream's made of me the ice cream's made of me the ice cream you lost him what does this mean is this a good thing or a bad thing oh no it sounds good we make the first ice cream tartar the meaty cream what the hell did you just say what the food we're out this is horrible dude yuck we can see this idea you have left the meeting I'm gonna first off I'm gonna need him to lead this thank you I mean yeah duh but I'm the merch guy oh you're out oh my god no you're Because he's leading this, he's also leading merch.

Kid, why don't you go hosed outside of the building? Dude, hosed it out for the cows? No, you want the cream as meaty as it could be. Oh, God. Yuck. That's just misunderstanding the slogan. I don't understand. We're not getting.

You think we're going with Spencers? Get the gold watch as fucking Spencers, buddy. Let me tell him the company slogan. The company slogan is, is Mogul ice cream. Bill up. Mogul ice cream, fill up. And meat is implied. The meat is implied. You don't make it so direct. I shouldn't have to tell you that. We'll fill you up with our creamy meat

That's what it would be if you were around. If you're in the company embroider that on the patch, you fucking We'll fill you up with our meaty cream. Yeah, that's not better. You're right? How much would a neon sign cost for that? A million dollars? Kill yourself. The factory wouldn't even make it. They'd think it's sexual, probably. No, you don't think about their censorship laws. We need to get this approved in Saudi Arabia. There's a lot going on here that you never think about it. We didn't get a little pop-up stand at Beastland and we'd sell it. The little Saudi Arabian kids. I'm going to put you on to something. I'm going to put you on. Ryan Trahan, Joyride.

Guess what it's made of? What? Meat. There's a beef surplus right now. They don't put that on the package. No. Why would you put it on the package? You don't want to eat meat candy.

Why wouldn't they put that on the package? I'm Ryan Trahan. Try my meat. That's why. People don't want to know they're eating meat. They just want to eat it. Ask what Feastables is. meat, if you dare. Is it most, is it mostly...

It is mostly... It is mostly meat or meat. And one guy found some person in it. Which is also meat. That's being investigated. That's not confirmed. It's not denied. You don't throw out the cattle with the cow.

People are meat. I have so much... I have so much to learn about business from you guys. If you would just pay more attention, man. I just paid more attention. I came in like you. I was like, oh, that's a dumb idea. And now I've understood the life.

He came in and he wouldn't shut up. He kept going, I hate getting wet. Let's not even bring that up. I'm still standing by that. Please stand by that part. It's ice cream. He goes, what if it melts? And we're like, what are you?

How does it even happen? The meat stops it from melting. Yeah, it's not even, there's no cream. And you know what? That made me feel safe. And now I'm on board of this idea. All my financing, I know this guy is a hard money man. By the way, all his money's invested in this.

That's why he's to finance his car. I borrowed money from a man, the hard money man, to use for that. New flavor, okay? New mogul mint with no more ice cream. What would your flavor be? It's all meat. What would mine be? Yeah.

Hmm. Cherry. Nope. Aiden's meat. You're not getting you. What are you fucking doing? I don't understand. I thought I wasn't supposed to say meat.

The flavor isn't said. This is clearly an exception. It's Aiden's meat. Aiden's meat. That could work. But they didn't want Ryan Treyhant's meat? Yeah, but people want Aden's meat. People want Aiden's meat.

They're gonna want Aiden's meat. One's a sex symbol, the other's a religious YouTuber, mixed great videos. Wait, is he religious? Yeah, so he loves God. He loves God. Married at 20 fucking 3. For real. Yeah.

Is this another fucking George Floyd situation? Don't say it like that. What does that be? Don't say it like that. What is his name? Well, let's hear him out. His name is George Floyd. I want you to explain.

Don't say what's his name and then name a different black person. No, god damn it. Is this another, uh, uh, David Getta situation? No. You got him confused with George Floyd. No, because that's his song. He says, he did the song at the fucking thing. Oh.

You stupid asshole. I'm stupid. I'm naive. I'm not stupid. I'm innocent and childlike. This is not a David Gediz situation. No, no. So Ryan Trahan is something.

sort of religious zealot. Ryan Trajan is a married child. Okay. So he was like rubbing elbows with Charlie Kirk type of guy. No, no. I would think Charlie is more of a political leader than a religious

leader. Was. What? He's dead. Ryan... What? I'm sorry to tell you guys this. What? Charlie Kirk was killed. What?

No, no, I would have found out about that. He was killed a couple months ago. No, I think I've got a beat on things. I have a political podcast. What's the last thing you heard about Charlie Kirk? Charlie, he was doing, he was doing some rallies for Trump. He went on right after Kill Tony and the one thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And then he went kind of quiet after that. Kind of quiet, right? Vacation? I would say. So, yeah, sorry to break this to you. guys. But yeah, you're Ryan Trahan's buddy. It's the worst Christmas ever. It's not a Ryan Trahan's plug. I'm sorry, I don't know who fucking Ryan Tran is. I'm just talking out my ass. He probably doesn't like Saudi Arabia. Ryan Trahan is Surfer Christian. Oh, okay. Not, not, he makes awesome

videos. He's not cowboy Christian. And he loves God. This is what Ryan, I thought this was Jack Doherty, not fucking with me. You know what? To be fair enough. He does look. Fair enough. Yeah, I can see that. It is like, I can see that. It's like nature versus nurture. Like they could have looked the same. Right. But one went down a more evil path. It's this happy castle. Could you confirm this for me or not? Yeah. If I recall correctly, I was surprised to find out that he found his faith like later in his life. He was not raised in it. No, he became religious through his wife. Yeah. Ah, I, yeah, okay, I get it. I see this now. What does that mean? I get it. It just makes it. You get it. Immediately, what does that mean? I understand. Is the King of the Hill

episode, covers all this, just watch that. Makes all the sense. Anyway, so this guy made candy. Yes. That's awesome. And so you're going to make ice cream. I'm going to make ice cream. That's a good idea, bro. Is this kind of like, you're going to make ice cream as in,

like, you were going to make pizza, or is it? No, we're pivoting the business, buddy. I want yingo on the cows. Ooh, dude, and he wears the farmer coots outfit? He would love it. Yingling would love overalls. Like, a lot of weeks, Yingling will

be gone for like hours at a time in the middle of the workday right and he'll have to run an errand at Ludwigs or he has to do some random task in Los Angeles and pick up

like he'll pick up some insanely large arcade machine that Ludwig wants and next week it's going to be him just walking into the warehouse with cows with Wagyu cows

Kagoshima specifically is the region we're going to go for and he's going to walk and he's like Ludwig wanting cows Kagoshima cows. Oh my cats. I don't fucking know. It's a Kagoshima. It's with the same amount of annoyance he he does while setting up like a realistic driving setup or something. He holds his phone in one hand like this and he he types so flawlessly so quickly with one thumb. He's just like there's Kagoshima cows and it's like they cause it. You know how much

they cost they'd? Yeah. Oh man. They're expensive those Kagoshima cows. I mean they speak Japanese. Yeah. And that's a hard language. Takes a lot of training. There's three different alphabets you got to figure out. Are you, let me ask you a question, Ludwig, with your Chinese. Are you going to really try to learn that before you go? I'm like, basically there. Okay, can I ask you to say a sentence? Yeah, just give me a sentence.

I'll give you a simple one, okay? Say, my name is Ludwig, and I'm looking for the nearest store. Can you say that, Aden? You don't say it, but could you say that? I can say the first half. My name is Aiden, the thing they teach you in the first page of Chinese. Do you want, Shanghai's, Cantonese, Oh, I can't say

I'm not feeling greedy or anything Just give me whatever you're strongest in Even the first hat Can I do English? Nope, no, it's got to be Chinese dialogue English defeats the purpose You just said what are you strong I guess you asked

No I'm I said what you're strongest with It was implied Chinese Okay You only listed Chinese there Yeah I would go I would start off Yeah And I'd be like

Nihama And then You'd ask me a question I would just say hey After he, because he already, that's a, that's hello. I just say, hey, how you doing? This is actually realizing you don't know any Chinese. Zero.

And then you go, Nihau, and I go, I go, wu, Ludwig. And then I go, biao, wu, wabiao. And then that would mean what you're asking for. It sounds like you said the same thing a couple of times. It sounds like you try to say it in reverse. That's just what it sounds like.

You can actually play any Chinese phrase in reverse. and it says murder, murder, Jesus. It's such a small language. Yeah, it's beautiful, actually. Like Jay-Z song. Did I pass your test? You clearly don't know the language.

You said, I'm basically there. He was grimacing while you did. Also, Ludwig says that you speak city slicker, Chinese. Yeah, he speaks with a pathetic Beijing accent. Oh, I don't speak with a... Oh, you can... And he speaks the working man's story. Uh-oh, China Mog.

China Mogg, actually China Mogg by a white man. I go through my sixth sentence rotation with a Beijing accent, God forbid. Yeah. Yeah. And thanks for actually accepting that. Look. I'm going to China, bro. I'm doing my best.

We know you're going to China. No, I'm going like the first week of January. Oh, are you doing that? Can I say what it's for? Wait, you're going then coming back and going again? Is that a secret? Whoa. Uh, you can say it.

He's doing an ad. An ad that's leaked. And you leaked it, dude. So he was obviously kidding because he felt pressured. Yeah. Because you made it feel pressured in the end in the moment. Ad for what? Uh, I'm going to do road to empress.

What fuck is that? So I'm starting to, I'm going to act. I'm going to act in a game. I'm a thespean. I'm acting. You're a lesbian in a game? What? Is it legal in China?

I think, first off, they're not having me be a lesbian but second off yeah it is oh that's nice I'm gonna be I'm gonna be an actor I don't know what it is

just imagine I'm going a star and like what's an equivalent American like a Marvel movie Is this like a show It's a game It's a game

You're acting in a game There it is Oh And this is like Marvel Didn't you like play this In terms of like budget Yeah Played it, yeah. Oh my god, bro. This is so funny. Are you gonna be dressed up like that? Well, I'm not gonna be a fucking

2025 Western guy. Yeah, I'm gonna be dressed in we make you can Tang Dynasty wardrobe. Can you just be her for me? I can't be Siren Wu. Why not? Her name. Yeah, it's Siren Wu. She's the main character. This is what all of Black Hop 7 looks like right. And then there's oh my god. This is sad Bianji. Sad BNG? No, I mean, what happens is that an alternate? What happens at BNG is sad? What happened to him?

Oh, Li Tai. Wait, so who are you going to be? Like, American Dave? What is this shit? I don't know my role yet. Well, you ever seen the first season of Yugo, and they're on the island? There's the one American guy? Joey.

No, there's the one American guy, and he has like a fucking, like Harley Davidson vibe to him. Joey's Japanese. He's from Brooklyn. What are you talking about? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But in the original subversion, it's all Japanese voice actors, right? And they have an American- And so they have an American guy.

Character. Okay. And that American character, can you look them up, Zipper, Yu-Gi-O American guy? And he's just like, have like a burger on his shirt and like... Yeah. Hello! It's funny you say that because it's almost like that. He's got like a...

Well, don't get me started because I'll get offended if they start bad-mouthing my country. Bandit Keith Howard? That's a guy. Oh. Wait, this is the coolest character ever. He looks tough, bro. This was like Paul from Tekken. Bandit Keith.

So I would be the Bandit Keith. That's a dope, dude, you'd kill that for Christmas. No, I would not be... Oh, yeah, that'd be a good one. That's good for you. I wouldn't be American, though. What? America didn't exist in the Tang Dynasty.

That's fucking crazy. He says like the... So you'd be French. Political nation. Brahm. He'd be French. I don't think France existed. what year is it

uh 400 you'd be European um send me send me back to 400 I figure out Xbox for sure

you have Xbox booted up I'd have that shit you crack that yeah and Ludwig still wouldn't internet I'd be behind on but I got Xbox it's like back in time

I'm there we all has to throw rocks and play Moncala Nick makes Xbox and I'm like I can't do it can't do it What year? I'm still on Mankala.

Dude, looks fun. I'll do it in year seven, but like... Looks like a one-of-a-kind invention for all of mankind. Can't get there, though. Can't get there mentally. I'm rocks. Dude, I got an argument with the guy on Reddit

because he was... This is a while ago, but he was basically in one of those lives from fail threads being like, I just really hate how Ludwig is getting into bed with the Chinese. Like, and like becoming this weapon of propaganda for the Chinese movement. and I was like

he's like he's associating with all these Chinese companies and Shake sends me this because it was so insane and I reply I'm like what Chinese companies

what are you talking about he's like I don't know but I just know there's some I'm like what are they anyway so I'm DMing with this guy

and we're just having it out I looked through his profile I found out he is in the glory hole subreddit and which is fine Maybe he's looking to investigating.

No, no, he was, he was looking for sucking. If China's going to hide somewhere in Australia, where they're going to, you know, look. I was only trying to find the Chinese spots. No stone unturned. I felt like a Chinese mouth. The problem was that I told the guy I was like, bro, you really left that guy hanging in the glory whole thread. Because this one guy was talking to him like, is this a good spot for like a lunchtime

suck off or something? and the guy just didn't respond to him. And I was like, you left that guy hanging. That's fucked up. And then he blocked me, but he deleted his comments. In the Gloria whole subreddit? No, no. In the last word. I started with posting double time in the Gloria whole subreddit. Guys, we've been discovered.

Scram. Yeah, it was really funny. But I guess, I guess my argument's out the window because you're doing this Chinese propaganda game. I am. You're an enemy of the U.S. state. I'm promoting the 4-5 plot line where Siren Wu ends up with

Lee Tai. That's, dude, who are they gonna, I keep thinking what they're gonna do with you. Like, you don't know Chinese. I imagine I'll just be like a regular character, like a Chinese man. They needed someone who speaks fluently. So they asked you and you're gonna.

And I would just, you know, I dress up in traditional dynastin clothing. They use it, like the subtitles play out full, but the voice line every time is all Sherlewik. Dude, I cannot. I hope the production timeline is so fast.

I just want to play a game where you're one of the guys in it. I think I'll do really well. So you're going to be playable character? It's no, you can only play Cyron Move. The whole game revolves around the Tang Dynasty era historical event where this is the only time a woman was ever queen. Empress. You can say it.

You can call it what it is. I didn't know if you understood those terms. No, it's a Cardin Balotra. I know that one. It gives you two planets. And she rose from the rank of siren to Empress. And so it's about her rise.

Her eyes? Her rise. To become Empress. Ludwig invited to be in road to Empress to invite extended to Northern Lion as well. Yeah. Is Bro going to be in there? That's what I care about.

I want to do romance plotline with Northern Lion. I want it. But he doesn't leave the fucking house. But I want the romance plot line with him. He doesn't care what you want. Ah, he's bald like a snowman. You know what he does? He's gonna go on a Disney cruise.

I can't. He loves them cruising. That's what he's gonna do. He's gonna go to Disney cruise for seven days. You won't get a stream from him. He'd be cruising? And then he's gonna, yeah, he's 40. Yeah, he cruises.

He's 36. He's not 40. He plays Xbox with Nick. That's happening. NL would not play Xbox with Nick. Oh, really? Wouldn't happen. Ply on your face.

Pied on your face. Stigy. Stigy. No. Guess who has the guest Xbox for the, the show right now. He set it up. He's got it. Yeah, he does things that are a little hard sometimes for fun. I told him the idea and he was like, I love that. First off, and he bit the game. Nobody's gone to PSL here more than me. He skipped the last three of it. Yeah, but I was busy

all of them. Mm. Mm. What about, what about Carla? That was good. That's good. He's learning. He's learning. I have bad news, by the way. What? It's time to go. It's time to go. It's bad. I'm I also have to shit. Why did you push through? Because I just wanted to be, I didn't want to miss any other. I had 10 minutes left and I had to shit.

I don't like being not on the show. All right. Well, I just wanted to do final goodbye if that's right. Yeah, yeah, go for it. So, just want to say Merry Christmas. Archie Q music. Merry Christmas.

And, you know, thanks for watching. Another year that you are. This last year. Whoa, wait. Last what? Oh, like the last year. This last year. Yeah.

Thanks for watching the last year. I think you guys have probably should be hanging out with your families right now. But if you hate your family or you don't fucking have one, then it's dope as fuck to hang out with your friends and said, and if you fucking hate your friends and don't have those, maybe, I don't know, start a sport club. Bellatro is a very fun game. But hopefully this 90 minutes was nice.

to listen to or watch. Don't watch us on the big screen. We think it's weird. Well actually no. We think it's on the big screen around your family. We think you're if you're watching this on TV with your girlfriend which I learned some of you do we think it's weird. I'm gonna go put a 25 kill streak in the toilet and I hope you have a great holiday season. Happy holidays we're gonna do with the Primo tomorrow one of us won't be here but it won't be for the reason you think it'll be a three men. So to make up for it. This is Aiden's rendition of

Silent Night. Silent Night by Aiden. Play us out. Silent night. Holy Night. Play credits over this, Archie. I want to see credits while you're singing. Keep singing. I don't know. Me either, actually. The rest of the world.

Are you crazy? Literally three words. I've been haven't sung the song in a while. Just cut the tape. Here with my friend. He's kind of killing this. Dude, he sounds good.

One more. That's where you end. Here's my friends. Come on, I need it. I'm about to come, come on. I won't be with tomorrow. Okay, that's good. All right, are we still in the episode?

Leave in heavenly peace. Wow.