The Yard - Ep. 232 - Gaming Is Back

Episode Date: January 7, 2026

This week, the boys talk about Ludwig being the lolcow of MCSR, Slime spamming Ludwig with messages, and how Aiden isn't leaving the pod.. yet.. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You want to be with me. That song is good. There's a lot of good ass song. You know that was that video that kid who doubled himself dancing to 50 cent? I listened to that album over the weekend while playing a... He, did he who doubled himself? He, like, doubled himself dancing. Not the kid who had, like, progeria or whatever.

No, what does he have? You know the really short man who made YouTube videos back in the day, all these celebrities? Simfocus. No, not Simfocus. That guy actually had progeria. Husbal. No, what's his name?

God damn. One of my best Twitter names was Simfocus Memorial Highway. Yeah. Zipper, I needed to look up. He's still alive. He's still alive. Kid who danced with 50 cent. This is different than what you're saying, but it also happens.

happened that way. Do we know what sort of horrible curse was put on this person? I think he has if you cranked the Andy Milanochus disease to 400. Okay. Like he has it more.

Andy might be lowered. Yeah, that's him. Kenan Cahill. Okay. Legend of YouTube. I don't know if I want to watch the whole thing. I just want to see what. You can't talk about this much. Rachel, show it to me, Rachel. And then we can't, we can't not look at it.

Oh, we can, hold on, we get our GED. You don't even have YouTube premium, bro? It's 2025, 6. I didn't know what year was earlier. I look at a burger. Dude, this is, dude, this is awesome. This guy. Okay.

Dude, he broke the internet. Hey, let's break the internet. So he would just post this a lot, and then finally, like celebrities saw him, and then they started joining him. Dude, that's fucked up because they were only getting, they're only playing with clout, dude. They weren't getting in the fortnight call with them. Speaking of it, put it down on me. That's a song. This is the whole thing. Okay. Yeah, and there's 50 cents in this at some point. Yeah, this game on 2010.

It's amazing. He just comes in. Bro, that is crazy. We used to see this and go, well, this is gonna be the best video of the year. It took another 15 years for Ninja to get somebody equivalent on. That's right. This is like Drake Ninja. Yes. I didn't think about it that way.

You said Ninja with Progeria would have gotten Drake on so much sooner. I mean. It's so much cooler than Drake Ninja too because it's like a surprise. Yeah. Yeah. I did like the pacing. Yes. Because 50 Cent doesn't come in to like minute two of the video.

Because you click this video and you're just kind of hoping that it's just your favorite guy doing his lip syncing routine. Do you think they still hang? No, shit. Is he alive? Is Keen and Kehoe alive? 50 cents alive, yeah. If Subfocus is alive, that guy's alive. I think they're soul-linked.

It's like the Waffle House index. It's like, if the Waffle House is closed, it's a disaster. If Simbuckus is dead, we're in a bad spot. Oh my God, he died! That's so sad! No! 22, December 29th. Oh, my God.

You guys made such crass jokes about him after he died. I didn't make a single crass joke. No, I said he broke the internet. internet. You said a couple of things about it. You said the 400 thing. Well, shout out to a passed on goat. Yeah, a passed on viral legend. But viral legend. You can respect that. I can't respect that. As a current viral legend. I don't think I'm a current viral legend. You went viral for saying you were too old to be in the amogas lobby? I am too. I was too old. I'm glad you admit it. I was too old.

I'm glad you admit. Are you told for Minecraft? Discussed. No. Not for speed running. No. Zippers's like, me, no. Because if I'm too old, Ziver's too old. I'm not too old, but they watch me carefully. Because you never know what a 30-year-old does in that Minecraft space. You're at a cold now, right?

You're at a cold now, right? I'm not out of cold. No, I'm not out of cold. Yeah, being a 30-year-old Minecrafters, like being a 40-year-old guy in a fight. You just don't know what they can do. Yeah. I don't think they don't make it. It's a 45-year-old around high school.

Well, you're either picking someone up or there for the wrong reasons. And your hair is bleached. I feel like it's all, it's coming together into a bad version of a guy. I don't, charity doesn't count. It was for charity for kids. I did for kids. Yeah. The kids wanted this.

And I said, I'll give it to you. Do we have charity for adults? Yes. You can do adult charity. What's the percentage breakdown? Definitely less. That's crazy. We have the adult only food bank.

We need the adults. We need the adults. to help the kids. The food bank where you can't bring your family. 18 plus, we need your ID at the adult food bank. Minors, DNI

at the food bank. I think... D&I. Minors do not eat. I think we need a food bank for straight white adults. That are men.

The Farty. The food banks. You see a picture of banks and he's in the ocean he's still wearing his hat. I've seen every picture of banks. That's two weeks, dude. Dude, the internet does not let him live down the fact that he's like 34 or whatever.

It is so awesome. Dude, he's an unfindable chrome's jeans. He's an unfindable chrome's on St. Bart's wearing a hat on the beach. In the water. In the water? In the water's tough. That's some load of dota shit. That's next level.

Are people making these? Like, these are photoshopps? No. A real photo. They're just finding real photos of pics. He's like, he's like fat guy who wears shirt and goes in pool, but with hat. With hat. With hat.

No, it's like if the fat guy wore the shirt in the pool took off his shirt and had a six-pack because he has hair. Is he? Yeah, that's what I was going to ask. I don't know if it was surgically placed or not,

but it's there. Didn't we confirm that he's not balding? Yeah, and we've confirmed. I did, I did research. I didn't do research. I thought he was bald. I asked people on the inside. Oh, really?

He's not bald. Because he had that Brother Banks moment. Brother Banks was a big deal, yeah. Maybe the hat's like $40,000 and he doesn't want to stall. Unfindable, uh, 46 and a half or whatever. Yeah, under five. 50 50 50 new york giant's hat 20 karat hat so you know it's it's the holidays we were all separate for weeks yeah and you guys got and before before you guys got everybody

riled up you guys were riled people what you're talking about I don't know I will fucking kill you if you keep talking which one of us rog poster me my vague post you've contact contact contact set I require contact contact He was baited the fact that I was leaving the pod. And now the fan base is like, Ian's leaving. Bated? It's going away? Oh, yeah.

What's the bait? Dude, I'm leaving. You're literally leaving. I'm leaving at the end of 2027. Now you are? You gave them a date? What are you, Josh Man and Miles? Yeah, just one more year.

No. Just one more year. I guess played like that teenage and died. Didn't do that. Didn't do that. Never said I was living in 2026. I thought it was this year. I thought it was this year.

You thought it was this year on Deereon. That's bad friend behavior. I don't care. It was summer 2027. Somebody said, somebody in the discord, they were like, I think he's leaving in the latter half of 2026. And I was like, where did you get that information? They just made it up.

They pushed it all the way up to where they were like, is Aiden going to be on the next episode? I will say if you listen to the intro with zero context, it vaguely sounds like the next year of the yard, like 2026 will just not have me in it. I was kind of trying to when I was doing that whole thing. talking about you as if you were dead. And no one picked that up. They just thought you were leaving.

No, because me being dead is already the joke under every video I'm ever in. Yeah. It's actually true. They say fly high. Fly high. That's so lame, you guys. They do with squeaks too. What happened to him? They just say fly high every time. I love that for him. They want him dead, huh?

They want him dead. They want him dead fast. I was going through on band forms, and it was somebody was just a big squeaks hateer like and they spell his name wrong and they're like fuck skeeks skeeks fucking sucks this guy sucks can this guy shut up and then their unbanned

like you know note that they write was fuck skeeks unbanned me when he's canceled wow save that and it's a double I did save the date save the day

what the hell they gotta get squeaks for when skeeks gets canceled you know what they get him for is having dog shit tasting coffee we had a big talk about coffee when we were at dinner. He's like, no, dude, here's what you do. Stumptown beans, put him in the coffee pot.

They're perfect. They're perfect. Disgusting fucking. I went and got Sumbtown beans. I did pour over, which is better than a coffee pot. It tasted like dog shit. I haven't messaged him yet. Dude, okay, he's a fucking asshole when it comes to coffee.

Because we went to a coffee spot, I get a little cream top. Yeah, you look a cream top. I love it creamy. You love it creamy up top and fucking him blackdown bot. is that is it wrong is true is it wrong

zipper like a goofy laugh to that it was like it wouldn't be as good the other way around that would make as much sense no no no cream of top

black and black and black on buy and so and so I order that and then it goes enough coffee for your cream you know that's not real

coffee by the way really and then and then he goes up and he goes can I have a coffee black Oh, he mobs. No cream, no sugar.

He didn't ask for a geisha? He just said black coffee? Yes. Like he's fucking like he knows anything? Yes. He just said, when he goes to a coffee spot, he just goes, can I just have a black coffee? He doesn't ask for the Ethiopia. Oh.

He doesn't ask for the Ethiopia. Oh. His big thing is no additives, but I don't think he has like a nice taste. You think of a good palate. No palate. He's no palate. Dude, if he's telling you to get stump town beans and it said it's perfect, then he's a he's a bot

I don't know what to say he's a droid Squeaks is a droid and we should cancel him so I can unband that guy We need that guy back in it's so funny Is Tim sent me this like crazy guy Tim and me well I don't But he sends me like the craziest of your People that get banned

And we just laugh we just laugh at them And one guy hated Squeaks so much And I'm like why What is it you watch the Darksals marathon You're like yeah I mean he's fine like fine at worst maybe if you guys are arguing and you don't like your dollies being

mad because you're just racist squeaks no no no no the person if they are they are indicating that they are and I want to back up maybe to the first question as well what first question

the first because when you interpreted that he could be you know you don't know if squeaks is or is not I think he could be against whom like he sometimes We should cancel him

preemptively. I think we should. Squeaks is racist, has bad taste and coffee. I will say, you can't say somebody's bad tasting coffee if they like black coffee. Yes, you can. I think you can. What, it's like... Because what if the black coffee was from the gas station? They're like, that's my favorite.

Yeah, it doesn't matter. At least it's coffee. You ever had gas station coffee? Yeah, it's 400 degrees. Sometimes it's great. It's not so hot. Yeah, it's like a, Sometimes the McDonald's coffee hits.

One time I heard it's so hot because truck drivers needed to be hot for a long time. And I was like, I don't think they're thinking about the truck drivers at the gas station. No, they're not. They just, they have a machine that superheets it to Chinese scientist levels. It's so hot.

Nuclear fusion Chinese scientist coffee. That's why there's always a Chinese guy working the machine at the 7-Eleven in a lab coach. It asked to be a Chinese man. The only ones are the tool to turn the hot meter up. Yeah, he has the small Allen wrench. It doesn't matter who owns the 7-Eleven. It could be a white guy, could be an Indian

guy, there will be a Chinese guy at the back running the coffee machine. They have to. Someone's got to put the peptides in the coffee. Do anyone put me on a peptides? Because Alex keeps bringing it up. I don't understand a word he's talking about. Dude, so my girlfriend will put shit in her coffee in the morning. It's like, she's like, yeah, it's like

collagen and peptides and shit. And I'm like, okay, cool. And I taste it and it's like, it tastes like a butt made the coffee. It's so foul. And I'm like, you like this. A butteryista made the coffee. You like this and she's like, yeah.

And I'm like, then that's crazy. Well, I, you know what I, you got to reshift your, your whole paradigm. Because I think some people treat their morning coffee like a, like a serum, like a brew. Brew. A potion. Which is brew. It's a potion that you take. Yes.

And then you get stat buffs. Yeah. Okay. Do you think Estes flasks taste good? Hell yeah. It seems like a yellow gator. What is that? What is that?

that happens? Obviously you don't know. Wow. Dude, Meta Musil takes good. Of course, of Estesflask. I don't even relate to him. I'm trying to think of a Valorant equivalent. It's crazy. I know what the S's Flaziskees. That's actually fucked up. Oh, this is the yellow thing that you drink in Dark Souls.

Oh, she knows. She's drinking one every minute. This is what, when Josh was doing Couch Quest, didn't he drink a Medello every time you drank one of these or something? He did Medello Souls. Okay. And then for weeks later, he would just casually call him Adela, the estes. You know, if he's like drinking on the couch or something.

Right, the healing liquid. Yeah. Yeah, it's not. Well, you're saying this so... I think essence flasks would taste bad, yes. Dude, they literally give you life as an undet hollum. They gave you the fucking Drake Sprite commercial skin where you're fucking... Your face comes out.

Medicine don't taste good. I think medicine don't taste good. I think there's a couple things that taste good. Estes flask, five gum. The idea, not the gum. Yeah. And those two things, and that's it. The ester of taste.

Well, five gums more of a feeling than a taste. You know what I love actually is Advil, sucking on Advils? It's all the sugar-coded advils. Why'd they do that? What? To make it yummy.

But like, why do I need sugar in my medicine? In the same reason they made Antifreeze sweet. Do you not know the song? Antifreeze is sweet. Yeah, it kills a dog. The sugar makes the medicine go down. It's been full of sugar.

And that was about Advil. That was, no. It was not ad-fell. It was that written by a big ad- All of Mary Poppins was an advel. commercial. Her originally was Mary Advil, I guess.

There's a Johnson and Johnson sponsored film. They actually started World War II in the Nazi regime just to make the film. Yeah. Because that's method. Because that's method

is making the third rank. I do still suck on the Advil. I did it last week. I read some shit online once when I had a sore throat and it was like, bite the Advil and then swallow the powder quickly and the powder will coat your throat.

And I was doing that for years. Why do you want to coat your throat? Oh, because it like it's like, oh, hit the throat specifically. Yes, because as opposed to using the Advil as like a body ointment, I use it as a topical ointment. And I was spreading its, you know, powdery goods. It's got to be so bad for you. Did it work? Yeah, it did. That's why I kept doing it. Really? Wow. And then I had, I was dating somebody in college who was in like the nurse field and I was chewing Advil around them. And they said, don't chew the Advil around me.

What do we just casually chewing Advil your blood must have been like not like on a way why your legs don't heal anymore not like I'm like oh Tuesday it was like it was like if I'm hurting if I'm hurting my throat hurting if I'm through my throat are you saying you have weak throat I'm not anymore I think you weakened it I have he strength in his throat with Advil my throat's strong now you know what got weak I'm not kidding yesterday was the first time I had solid poop have been sick. Yikes. That's so weird. It hit me really hard, man. Absurd.

What I read is that when this thing happens that happened to us what we went through is that our intestinal lining dissolves off and we have to rebuild it and mine's just slower. You shed yours. Yeah. The little guys in my intestine cheering and throwing a parade like

finally. They just worked really hard. My guys were fucking... Ding dong the witch is dead. My guys were like the Keebler Elves just sleeping on the job. Christmas vacation, give him a little time off. I mean, you're a little older, too. I'm a little older. I think that was why. How was your vacation?

It was awesome. I just fucking hung out. Was that all you did? Very much. Is that all? You didn't do anything else? I'm trying to think of what he's... What is he leaving on? What he's so snapping? I mean, what else? He's just hung out. I sent you like four things. Zimper pull him up.

What? Because I think... He's got tapes? I think so I was a little too fucking bored over the holidays. What did I do? You guys getting as many texts as I would. was. I got more than normal. Yeah. He messages me a lot. I haven't talked to my

friends. What the fuck is your product? I didn't say I disliked it. I did dislike some. What are you talking about? Everything here is really funny. I don't know what you were getting. I wish mine were all great. We exchanged too. I sent, I got recommended the

the Toad version of my way by Frank Sinatra. Toad Sinatra. Which I already heard, but you know. And I hadn't heard and I love how he puts in the No AI. One take. And he's like coughing and crying at the end of the song because of how hard it is to sing.

Zipper? All right. So I just wanted to go through some of the messages I received. Wait, really? Can we go in order here? Is this the first one? Okay, all right. This one is, it's just, I don't know. It was just a... So this one was, Sketch was confused why Bruce drop him off

kept bringing up, bringing him while reacting the phase drama and pushing rumors that he and banks were cracking. each other. His skull emoji. So I got this too, of course, but he left discord to text you. So like he discorded me the message and then texted you the message. He really wants you to see it. I know he'll see it. He always text me. He never really discords me. Okay, so I've read this sentence three times. I don't think I know what it means. Well, there was this rumor, which is not fair to sketch, but that he and banks were cracking each other. Oh, that sketch. And not, I thought it was Bruce and Banks were cracking each other. So it's never cracked banks. Bruce seems, he looks like he could take a crack. Whoa. What does that mean?

Presumably it means fuck a man. He looks fuck a bull or look, he looks. Bruce drop him off and banks were fucking each other. Is that, is it? No, that's lemonade stands aided in Bruce. Yeah, that's lemonade stand. Guys, we're so sorry. That's not.

Is that not what it means? He didn't know what an asses flask was. Is that not, is that not what the tweet means? He's never heard of it. We're going to be gone soon anyway. A keynote a great journalist of our talking. He's terminally ill. I'm sorry, Bruce,

but Kino is spreading rumors about you. What's his next text? So I ignore that one. The next test, you can go to the next tab. It's about the Popeye's meal. And he texted me, Popeyes is now serving

streamer bundle of meals with the following streamers. Agent, Sina, Extra Emily, and in the graphic is Lacey. And can you now show what Slime wrote, which is how does Lacey have a Popeye bundle and you don't? Genuinely kill yourself tonight,

luddley. You said question marks. Like, you don't know what I'm saying? Okay, I say question marks because I thought, why did you say that? I gotta be real. It's, when I see that and that you're not there, it makes me feel that way. Right, thank you.

Am I fucking crazy? This is not your job, Mr. Red Bull, man? Okay, do you know what? They got the deal because of the fake deal. But they didn't get paid, right? So there was the, so there was the streamer prom, and there was a Popeye's bundle that was announced for several streamers. The streamers came out and they said,

I've never been told about this bundle. I'm not getting paid. Fuck this. And then it was found out that funny Mike had basically set this all up as a sponsor for his event, but not communicated it with the streamers. He VGBed them.

Maybe that's a good example. That's some old head shit, huh? Hein. That's Christ. Are we a couple old salty fuckers? That's salty fuckers. It's... Salty fuckers.

And so then Popeye said, well, why don't we just actually make deals with all these people? and then they did. Okay. But I wasn't at streamer prom. Right, right. You didn't, why didn't you?

Okay, let's go back to it. So you also didn't get asked to prom. That's what you're telling us. No, I didn't get asked to prom. Okay. Did you go stag at least? I wasn't invited to the event. You stayed home.

I couldn't have gone. Do you think that makes you cool that you didn't get to go and everyone else did? Because you're a streamer. I don't. It was streamer prom. That's a good point.

So it makes me wonder. What would I be there? A chaperone? I think, I mean, yeah, sure. I don't think... Oh, you could be a teacher. It feels like you could have gone... Is it cooler to not go to the prom

or go as a chaperone teacher? Go as a chaperone. You know how at the end of every high school coming of age movie they have the prom scene at the end and then there's like two teachers who get together in the background that could have been you and cutie.

Oh, my God. Or the cool move's not going. Yeah, no, you're right. It was really cool to not be... The clue is not getting a Popeye's deal. Yeah. No, you're right. The people who didn't go to prom

we're the coolest slot. Okay, so another one makes a lot of sense for slime. Next text. Next text. This is, yeah, I said this to Aiden too.

How to say you fucking cuck in Chinese. This guy is awesome because he'll say it and then he'll just slap the camera and put a belt sound. He'd be like, you fucking cuck. He does have a lot of passion.

Did you see what, what I said to this? I saw what you put, yeah. You can't. It's tough. It's tough. Unless you're fluent in Chinese,

you can't rip this one It's like saying Ryan Higa's old name Oh yeah yeah That's why I didn't try Because I was like I'll try this out a lot a few times Yeah But there is a phrase in Chinese It feels like you should start somewhere else

And if you get too excited If you're a white guy who's too excited About saying these words It's like Are you really into the Chinese part of it You're really learning for the right reason Okay so what was the problem with this? Nothing? No

This one was this one was fun to try until I realized I couldn't try too much. Yeah. Next one. Okay. Peter Griffin gets molested several times compilation seriously so funny. With the thumbnail being the doctor

from family guy behind him, licking Peter's ear saying, I am a breeding bull. Yes. And that one I didn't reply to. Why not? Because I didn't know what to say at the time. And then you followed up with

If the Broncos win the Super Bowl, I get to punch you full in the tummy. Dude, this is like a week of no reply. You fucking... You're gonna be a fucking... I think... Okay, one, recycler. You said that to me minutes ago.

I sent it to all my friends because I like my friends. I don't think I cop that one. Sometimes I give you guys different ones. If we could, if we could be honest, if we could be vulnerable for Ludwig for a moment, which sometimes when you send Peter Griffin gets molested several times

compilation seriously so funny screenshots, I wonder what I even could say back. And let me tell you, it's like I spend a few minutes thinking about it. And if I come up with nothing, I go, maybe it wasn't meant to be replied to. And that's how I feel sometimes. It's like nothing's coming to me. Also, by the way, if you're sending the same message to me and others, this is just text slop. It is a bit of text slot, but there's different cases. Is text slop worthy of being replied to? There's different cadences and timings that you're not taking into account that you wouldn't understand because you don't know how to use your phone

because you're an animal. And I just go to a simple question. Is text slop worthy of being replied to? Of course it is. Because if you sent me something, if anyone sent me something like this and I laughed, I would just go LOL all caps. That's what we do with our friends.

Wait, that's too much for you. That acknowledges. That's too much. Did it make you laugh? Well, that's reply slop. Did it make you laugh? I think reply slop is necessary sometimes. Mm-hmm.

Did it make me laugh? Mm-hmm. In the moment Because Did you show cutie? I didn't I didn't show her I'll send it to her

I don't know I don't know if that's necessary You know what I said to it I don't know that's necessary I'll send that to her The Broncos one Or the Peter Griffin one What if I sent her

The whole string Of everything I've sent That would be better At once or slow drift It would be at the same cadence And then what's the final one? This is so I've watched this a hundred times

You went to Publix for a chicken tender sub And it's a guy with the face filter And scroll down a little bit Oh my God He just wrote ERO He doesn't ERO Dude he looks like it This is such a like a genius

Ticktocker or Short video If he, one day He'll fulfill his dream Of moving to the desert alone Yes And this is what we'll have Yeah

Like we'll just have this from him That's true We should always get installed on our living rooms, like a screen, like a frame TV that just he can send messages to only. Oh my God, it'd be sick. And we just have it up and our children can gaze upon it. Uncle Slime's communicating with us.

It's like a digital picture frame but for insane shit. Yes. Dude, I'd be putting like donkey gets hit by train and reverse on there. You would be so fun in an era where you'd have to send messages via like carrier pigeon. Oh, I'd be such a little troll. And that pigeon would probably fucking kill itself from exhaustion. I would have a lot of pigeons, but it'd be funny to get, like... The thing is, I would make sure to send a pigeon back.

If, like, Barnabas sent me a funny joke about the fields, I'd send him one back about the surfs and say, loll. Yeah, loll. Good one. Good one, Barnabas. I'll see you in 40 days. You've done it again, Barnabas. So you were bored. That's okay. I wouldn't say bored.

I just, I was... It was a lot of phone time. What did you get down to? I don't want to hang out. I didn't do anything. A game? I played a lot of video games. You played a bit of league.

I had, I played a little bit of league. Dude, I kept thinking I was like, I got like a couple, I got like 12 days. Maybe I would make a run to plat. And then every time I would hover the go live button, I would have to shit really bad. And I'm like, I can't do it. Yeah. You need, your L's needed to repair the line. I mean, you only had a solid yesterday.

Like, I mean, well, wait, wait, wait, wait, what were you saying? A solid poop yesterday. Yeah, that's right. A solid one. and I was like, that might be cool. Can I ask that? Yeah, it was weird solid. Mine was the first solid was weird solid.

Yeah. It's the war total of normal. I am taking Nick Poops constantly. Big dumps. Big dumps. You guys remember those like the foam you could get at Toys or us that was like had little white beads in it? It was like Flom.

Yeah. That's it. That's how mine came out. That's crazy. In the in between. Like Flom. That's it. That's your butt.

That was what my butthole made. My butt hole made this for you. Reminds me a moon sand. Bum was crazy to touch. It was weird to touch. It was, dude, they fucking snapped with this. If you let it dry, it becomes solid. It's just the shit on like the floor of like a car manufacturer.

I feel like it was a government weapon that they were like, we can't use it. I didn't... Vampire film. I didn't like these growing up because I had an internal battle about eating them. Like I wanted to eat them so bad. We all try flow. a little bit. I like that. They still make flam.

Of course they do, man. 100%. Well, now it's, now it's DIY slime, right? That's the new hot thing. Well, that shit said fruity pebbles. No, they don't make it, man. They probably make a copy. It's called something else. And with the water. What?

I don't know if you recall our last meeting, you were so concerned about the water. Me and you? No, you. They're torrential downpour. Oh my God. Did you get wet? You bought a suit. I did. I bought a suit Did you use it?

Yeah I did I put this little like a drainy thing That goes in like the driveway That like soaks the water out And a hose goes to the street And it was a sucker And I set it up

And I didn't get flooded And it was nice But I hated doing it But I didn't get wet Because I had the suit And you hate being wet So he hates being wet I think I'm becoming the guy

Who hates being wet Welcome I used to love rain The California boy, you don't get it very often. I feel like we've gotten it quite a fucking lot last couple years. We're out of a drought. And I think I'm...

You know what I mean? You're one year out of a drought. All of a sudden you're like, fuck the rain, let's go back to the drought. Drought's been over for a minute. I don't think so. It's been a few years. I don't think so.

More than a few years. It's been raining the past like five days and I had that thought that a lot of people have like, damn, if I lived in like Seattle, like it would be shotgun time. Yeah, it'd be shotgun time. It's just so miserable. It was the opposite.

But that's just me. I went to Seattle. You relished. And I relished. You relished in the dog's shit weather. And you went to the Pikes Place Market and took a dump on all the fish. I did do that. When's the last time you went to Pikes Place Market?

Oh. Because it's nothing to do there. Two years ago. What did you do there? Did you buy a fish? I took my lovely girlfriend there to watch the fish get thrown around. What did me thrown around? They got a game?

It's awesome. They fucking toss them. the guys at the market, they toss the fish around, they fuck them. They fuck them the fish, dude. They fuck the fish in the mouth. You're going to look bad. Look at them. Fuck that fish in the mouth. That's a hot fish. Fuck the fish.

Hey, long carp. I want to come. Coming now. Oh. Come on the fish. You didn't go back? You didn't go back? This sounds awesome. I know. I just said I didn't stay in Seattle for most about. It's a tourist thing. I was on the Puget Sound. I was hanging out with sea otters

and seals. You saw some? Yeah. Wow, did you eat? And you were offline? Offline? Offline? You weren't gaming? No.

He came back and gained. Not while I was there, but then I came back in gaming. I was a little piggy. Do you guys remember that failed monkey hospital that I started? Yeah. Yeah. Back pre COVID. I didn't know it failed.

I was a investor. It failed. It failed at what? It failed that, I guess there was no clientele for one, but also we didn't really help any monkeys. So what was just? what was it doing? So what I learned was that most of the money went into individual Netflix subscriptions for each of the hospital rooms for the monkeys to watch TV. That was your yeah, that was your big idea. I see I kind of oversaw it but I didn't

like I was in the nitty gritty type of thing. How did you go so long without realizing that and what made you realize? I was busy for a while and I was just busy and then like it goes under. Businesses go under. Businesses go under. Sometimes you lose a lot. of money because of a guy you put in charge. But how many Netflix accounts were you sign up for? So that's the thing. I thought that all the accounts for the Monkey Hospital Incorporated LLC that closed down.

The monkeys would shut them down for you. I thought someone would do it. I used Rocket Money. I checked the subscriptions. I'm paying about, sheesh, it was about 700 individual Netflix subscriptions. 70 was running on your personal bank account? Yeah, yeah, yeah, to keep it all in one bank.

That's, that's like $10,000 a month. I know, it's, and it was, and I was like, why am I so in the negative? You're saying you use Rocket Money, the personal finance app that finds an un- then cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so that you can go your savings to discover that you're a monkey hospital. Because when I log into Rocket Money, it lists a bunch of the different things I pay for. Like maybe it'll list even like my bills or like the expenses I want to keep and I can just track like all my budget stuff. Did you not get?

But you opened Rocket Money and saw seven. 700, 700 Netflix subscriptions. Individual Netflix subscriptions all just tied to proton mail accounts that I don't know how to get into. It shows your credit score. What was yours when you were in there

and you were looking? It was like... Two or three digits. Can we start there? Oh, it's a good question because I was gonna say, yeah, it was like it was two digits. It was two digits. I didn't know it could go that well.

I don't know it goes that way. But it does. And what helped me, Rock of Money helped me track all this stuff and figure it out and actually you press a button and it canceled all of them. All 700.

Well, it was all except one because I wanted one still. You do have to go one at a time. There isn't, I don't think Rocket Money has a cancel 700 Netflix subscriptions button. And actually, that's feedback we're sending to them because probably there's many people

in your shoes because this isn't weird at all. If you go to a monkey hospital, if you're considering opening a monkey hospital, if any of this is true about you. I'm going to put a monkey in the hospital. That's fucking right I'm on the other side of this shit now Girl, I'm gonna put that monkey in the hospital

Let Rocket Money help you Reach your financial goals faster Let Rocket Money help you Go to RocketMoy.com slash the yard That's RocketMoney.com slash the yard And they can help you out Hide your monkeys Because I'm coming

Just check out your normal subscriptions I'm coming monkeys See if you got it a cut Back to the episode I saw the Discord does this snitch and shit on you now where it tells you how long the call's been going for. Yeah. 10 and a half hours he's in there.

Oh, okay, there's an asterisk on that. There's an asterisk on that. For 15 minutes, I was pissing. No. No, no, no. A larger asterisk. I went to FK.

I wasn't doing anything any better. I wasn't gaming. This is, I sat on the couch and I watched strange. I binged Stranger Things. The last season of Stranger Things. And you, I don't know if you thought we were your normy friends. You're like, anyone check out the new Stranger Things season. That's a reasonable thing to ask.

Aiden's so funny. Because he'll, like, delete Twitter off his phone and then use it in the browser. And then he'll, like, move his gaming PC to the office, but then just live here. It's all bullshit, bro. I'm like, your life is an illusion, bro. It's just, it's just cold. It's just dead code. Dude, he put his gaming PC here.

And then he, for a week, because he couldn't be home because of, like, construction. He, like, lives here. And he's like, I think I could live here permanently. They'd be nice. I'm like, yeah, bro, you want your gaming computer at home. I don't want to watch movies at home. Yeah. It's nice, man.

Yeah. It's just we I just it's admitting it That's the important part I like it Oh yeah I know 10 hours in the call With Yusuf

Isn't that crazy It was six hours It was him and Yusuf It was six hours He was talking about He played Diablo Yousef watched him Beating off

Were you beating off Were you beating off? I wasn't beating off For Yusuf You get a Puget Sound cart You get a Puget Sound cart You got a Puget Sound Car I got a Puget Sound Car

Want to watch That's what I was saying If you want to see my Pugent Sound car. Because he would get in a cab, I've said this before, that he would get in a taxi cab with Hitler or Netanyahu, anyone you want, and he would just become their friend because he's fucking Eamon. And he doesn't decide to be judgmental enough.

Do you see how we left? You see how we left the realm? You see how we left the road? We had like something reasonable, which is that, like, Aiden wants to be at the office all the time. If Netanyahu played counterstrike, is likely in a way, you would be like, oh, that's cool, man. Because I want to hang out with Yusuf in Discord. It means I would be okay with Netanyahu and the Uber. Ask Nick Yingling,

he would say, you described to him who Netanyahu. I first would explain that this is a man. It's not a search engine or a guy. Bringing that as 2026, huh? Oh, yeah. That's not going anywhere, blood. No. That's just classic shit. I can't believe you're going to be here. the whole year plus the other one. That is so interesting. Yeah, it is, isn't it? You, like, you're discovering that you just had misinformation. Like, you're...

I just thought it was different. This news comes from your lack of awareness. I thought we were talked about it, like, at a time where he was like, yeah, two years, and that was like a year ago. The visa application takes longer than I was initially told. And I'm waiting. So I'm right then. You were in the room when he talked about this.

Yeah, but we know because we've talked to him about it. Yeah. I haven't. And his initial date was also still 2027. It was supposed to be like summer. I don't remember that. Your Honor, I don't remember shit.

So it's gone from like summer of 2027 to like December of 2027. Your Honor, I don't care. Your Honor, I try to talk to Aiden as least as I can as little as I can. Me and when you guys talk about tier two in the group chat? Yeah, right. And I can't ask my fucking friends about stranger things in the group chat. No.

No, that one. I replied. Huh? I know. I know. I replied. I know. And I just,

what does that leave me to do? But beat my carp with Yusef and the, call because nobody you talked to me about stranger things. I have a wanted option. You front fuck the fish. He front fucked it, man. I'm back fucking. That's extra. What did you do? What did you do? Yeah, how was your whole? Final Fantasy Seven. Yeah, Slate the Spire.

I know. He's all fucking gamer Pilled. Gauntlet Legends again. You beat Final Fantasy 7, OG. He has not beat it. I'm not beat it. I'm like how far? He's not at a midgar yet. How far am I? I don't know the percentage. You don't know either. You don't, you don't know either. Didn't you play? It's not even close to 30%. I'm right. No, it's not. You're so mad. You're so mad. I am mad because I played the game a million times.

Give a percentage then, boy. He's 10%. 10? Oh my goodness. You gotta get out of Midgar. You are silly. I thought you'd be out by now, but you don't know how to play. No, I just don't play that often.

Don't know how. And then you play Slate this while you went crazy. I put so much less. I played the Play this by our board game. You had a single player game for Christmas? I heard that board game's amazing. It's pretty dope, but it takes way too long. Oh.

We played for maybe two or three hours. Who's we? I had a group of friends we played. like Alex and his friend group Wow They were probably taking breaks And talking shit You weren't even here

I don't care Sounds like a fucking treat What are you fucking treat I bet you say season five sucks You got you all carps You did ghost us for like A week Dude I looked at my Discord message with Ludwig

We had not message in over a month and a half Yeah That happened sometimes So I'm supposed to what invite you I was ill For a month and a half Month and a half We did have the group chat

Where we were scheduling the yard stuff And then you came in He's like it's not even been 24 hours, guys. And it had been four days since the initial question. We played for three hours. We got to the end of Act 1.

Oh. There's three acts. Of the board game? Yes. That's a long ass board game. Dude, it takes all day. That is too long. It comes with...

No. What is board game slop? Are we just saying it's anything? Shut the fuck up. Board games. Does every variety of monopoly ever made? No, it's not. It's so well made.

But it comes with things to save the game to pick up later. Like, that's how they know you're going to. It's going to take forever. Ken Chen used to play terraforming Mars. I think Zippers played that too. And the way Ken would talk about it was like, don't get him started. It's board games for people who have like a board game table and they leave the game out.

Yeah. I don't back to the game. I don't have that. I've got to put it away. Zippers, is there a board game table? I know you grind. At the homie's house where you play board games. They got like a game.

I don't want to enable. It's like puzzlers. Puzzler's got a puzzle table and the puzzle fucking stays out It's just too long And you have to sleeve all the cards When you get the box You don't have to

You do Why? Because the backside of the card Is the upgraded version of the card So you would know what you're drawing Why would they do that? It's insane It's kind of insane

It's just so they have less cards overall Just so John Spley the Spire Can make more fucking money Also when you upgrade your card You gotta take it out of the sleeve Flip it put it back in And then when you're done playing everyone has to un-upgrade all their cards.

Dude, you're 30 now. You play board games. I played a board game. He's 30 now. You're 30 now. You play a ball of us and teenagers. Your holiday break was playing 5. And I'm still young.

Yeah, it's like 35-year-old. Max a million dude have the same holiday break. I'm doing a lot of 30-year-old shit right now. Getting depressed by the rain. That's a new 30-year-old thing. That's pretty new. I was thinking about it.

You guys are going to hit 35 and be like, damn, slime was right about most things in life. And you're going to message me? And you're going to apologize. that I will never do it I'll never do it And he said a beautiful Fuck

Honestly the whole time I was just like damn I want to play the video game instead Yeah It's better as a video game Was that friend group So this is something It's been going around

On like TikTok and shit Where it's like my dad When everyone keeps talking And he really wants to play The fucking board game And it's like this seething man No they're a great They're a vibe

I'm that guy That's what your fucking girlfriend does That's what my My girlfriend was you. Oh, really? She was like, everyone fucking play

the fucking video or the board game and we're all making jokes. Oh my God, it makes me so mad. So that's why I don't play. You would hate it.

I don't friend's love. Yeah, I'm not gonna agree with you when I'm 35. You're gonna live a drastically different life for the next five years than I did, that's for sure.

Thanks. I hope it goes bad though. What did you do, Ludwig? Yeah, what the fuck did you do? Offstream. I beat all of Hades, too. Oh.

Really? Like once? No. Offstream? Like unlocked the ending. Oh. Offstream? Offstream?

What's that about? What's that about? What's that about? What's that about? You were playing Expedition and Sierraxasuri? I was playing Expedition. Oh, Expedition. Oh, I got a fun little French phrase for you.

A phrase? Yeah. Hit me. Oh, fuck my pussy. What could that mean? What do you think it means? I don't know. Fuck my pussy.

It means hello. It's an informal greeting for hello. A penguin pushed me. No way. What? En fuck my pussy? Yeah. Yeah, that's it.

A penguin pushed me? Fuck my pussy. Wow. Yeah. Thank you. Yeah, and you can have that now. And I'll say that to people. You can say that to people.

And I say to French people, English people. Yeah. Okay. And you can just laugh at them now because they'll understand it. I know. Why are we all single player gaming? Is it because we're 30? I was doing it because it was the holidays

And online gaming requires me to go to a PC Which would separate me from my girlfriend for the holidays So she was crafting and I was gaming I see Oh my God And you're crafting in a different way And I'm crafting a different way by fucking crafting up achievos And fucking excellent gamer skills

My if I trust the news That I read You're not, it's not going well for you. You'd be going bad. What? You die a lot. Oh,

that's the news that I say. In Hades 2? No, in Minecraft. Oh, in Minecraft. He said you're crafting. You streamed from that fucked up liminal space set up that you have. Okay, as someone who hasn't really been watching

too much, can you explain to me? What is so hard about climbing out of coal? Zipper laughs. Zipher laughs. Is he's been grinding. Is it where you play right? Okay. Isn't it?

the K said everything No, yeah Oh my God Postering What's your R SG? What's 37? What's that mean?

It's his personal best For just speed running solo You've beat it in 37 minutes? Oh shit I I am the most Like I don't even want to say is going to, I'm not going to, I would never vilify you. I'm the most, I'm the most infamous

Minecraft player alive. Okay. I am the most persecuted. I'm the most targeted. Yes, I'm the most oppressed. I guess there are no famous black Minecrafters. So yes, you would, you would end up, and that's weird to think about that. And that's not true. What about Dream? Not because he's black, but he's persecuted. Are we sure about both? Yeah. I'm just saying it's a very white dominated. specifically MCSR ranked in specifically this like this format I am just like in again

I like if I were a random person and I booted up and I played I would be like high iron silver right now how do people I'm sorry I'm sniped yes I don't know what the game works and you TLDR me

TLDR you both boot up into a filtered seed okay it's a sea that's like generous okay you know that that's easily beatable and you have the same one so me and you we have the same seed we're in different worlds though I would love to have the same seed with you in the same way you're sharing seed just move past the seed part but we we share it's hard but you do that for me we share it I'll try I'll try it's a captivating prospect we share the same seed whoever completes the seed faster wins whoever completes it yes completion could you tell me in detail how you complete the seed you would be you would kill

The Under Dragon and go to the import. I feel like you'd beat. You'd beat it. Yes. Whoever beats it first. Right. Who beats the seed first. Yeah.

Is the winner. The completion. Yes. To completion. Yes. I actually want the answer to the question. This became way more interesting. The issue is that when you're lower ranked, most people, because they struggle,

they're new. They'll forfeit. Things haven't gone your way. Okay. So you have, you know the line to take to beat it, but something went awry. Like StarCraft, you FF, you don't play out the game. Yes. And so, and now imagine this is a great analogy.

Imagine League of Legends with no timer restriction on when you can FF. What do you think the early FFs would be? Like, how early do you think people would start FFing? There'd be some early ones. Be some real, like, single minute. People rip it at nine, nine, ten minutes. If they could, you know, if they weren't restricted, they could FFFing, you know, the minute they lost lane.

Uh, they definitely be throwing the vote up, yeah. Yeah. And so it's like, that's what happens. So, like, most people's experience is you can FF your way out of coal. Nobody FFs against me. You get to play more hands of poker? Basically, everyone's just, everyone's folding their hand. Let me get this straight.

So you're coal because no one forfeits. Everyone's calling me to the river. Because they think they just, the game. And you're getting beaten in these river situations? Is it because they know it's you? Yes, because they know it's me. They're sniping me. They're watching my stream.

Okay, so I, every single hand I have to go to the fucking river where everybody else just gets folded to fucking W Nation. Sure, with any two. And I'm also getting smirfed on, you know, there's also people who, you know, smurfing on me. I want to watch slime stream this so bad.

Imagine him speed running, it's Minecraft. It's a 1v1. Yes. And that's how you get rank is you defeat, how much, like, Elo do you get or something? It's like 20 if you win, 20 if you lose. Well, how many wins does it take? Because it's like Cole 2, Cole 1.

When I first got my rank, again, this is, I think, I don't know if it was Oliver's the guy who made. I don't know if it was Oliver's fall or somebody who makes the game, but they... Makes the game. Right. One of the devs, they gave my initial ranking of like 180. You need 400 to get out of Cool 2. I wouldn't need 11 wins just to get out of the lowest rank. Okay.

Who does that? Your heart stuck? And how many games you played? Who did that? Like, not even that many. like 25 or something You have to play to the river When you go to the river

You're losing most of the time No, I'm winning a majority I'm winning a majority Go to last season Go to last season I don't know if you can go 18 18 wins 11 completions Wait what's your record

My fastest win is a 2958 No no no sorry sorry Like your record like wins and losses I don't know how to check that It's a good question That should be on the thing But what do I know It's like 18 and probably like 40

like I sorry no no like that's crazy 18 like 18 wins 12 losses something like that so 30

well I don't know math like don't yell at me look there you can see it do you have an over 50% win rate yes I definitely but you can't climb I don't understand

what the fuck you talking about look at the left 50% win rate I see you do you have climbed because you went from 180 to 370 yes

and you're almost out of coal you're almost out of coal yes dude you got to get out of coal I know No, but I'm just saying like, look, so you see how few forfeits there are. It's all times. It's all fucking time.

Now, just for an example, click on, click on somebody else. Like anyone who's in, no, my list, my list. Click on Biggie cheese. Anyone in my fucking list here. Oh my God. And look how many say forfeit. Do you see what I'm saying? Right.

So it's like this guy in, in the last 100 games, three finished, three. Yeah. And then you go to me, all right? and it has a time next to it because nobody forfeits. Okay. Go out to Ludwig. Because just the sheer thought

of beating Ludwig is so appetizing. I'm so, I'm so vilified. Oh my God. Okay, I hate the amount of data. I have data. By the numbers,

you're right. Okay, and I was forfeit. A lot of these are me forfeiting. I stopped forfeiting. Most of these are fucking me forfeiting, by the way. Now,

I stopped forfeiting. But so many of your wins go to time. Yes. Almost all. Like somebody will die. They will have chance of winning, they will just walk around, they'll just jump around, they'll go, boom, boom, but, but,

and they'll watch my stream. Dude, they're trying to hit their set on the way out. Yes. Yeah, and the only thing that costs them is time, not necessarily money. And then I'm even trying to win. They're just trying to troll. That's pathetic.

No, I mean, like, I was in the same thing. You've actually won me over. I just see, yeah, I think this all checks out. 70% forfeit rate, and I have a 14%. A 14%. I wonder how many people, like, who are stream sniping you, like their forfeit rates high because they're just trying to find you. And they didn't want to play the match they got.

I'm sure that happens. But if you look at when they forfeit, it's not like within 30 seconds, you know, like they're still. Wow. That's crazy. So, yeah, you know, it's, that's why. And it's, that's why I'm, I told it. I was like, I'm not doing this online anymore. So you're just going to off stream ride it?

I have to get, I have to get so much better than my opponents. Then when I come back, I'm a smurf. I will. So it doesn't matter if they have information on you, right? Actually, you're in the same seed. It does, because the normal information is you can just see the farthest they have gone, but you don't see if they died.

So like you can see, for example, like there's steps, right? First thing you do is you go to the nether. You can see if they've gone to the nether. Okay. Then you go to a bachel. Then you go to a fortress. Then you can see their progress. Yes.

So you can see their progress. And usually what will happen is like if you die, and you see their progress, their peak, their PB so far as they've made it to the end, you're like, okay, well, they're at the end, I died, it would take me so long to get there, I'll FF. If I made it somewhere, but then I died, and I had to reset, they could see that, they see that.

So is the game made better or worse by having FF in it? It sounds like if you play these out, anyone can win. It's like silver in league. Well, I said it, you know, I said it. And, you know, there's a whole discussion about, how this game is catered towards like, you know,

these netherite fucks. Okay? What? It's these, it's these. Can you say that? Yeah, I can say it. Is that like Grandmaster?

Yes. It's like the Challenger players. I see, so there's these challenge, yeah, you can see them, and Fumi, hacks, EDCR, like silver runs. These, these, these,

these guys name is HMI cables. These snakes get it all, right? They get it all. They get the glory. They get the, the gold, and the game is catered towards them. And their games end in like nine minutes. Right.

So everything's made for them now. Like, what's best for them? And it's like, we're talking about 60 people out of like 10,000 who are queuing up. 10,000 people queue this game. It like, the number one player has a nine minute average. Yeah. That is nine minutes. Yeah. Dude, that's

big swag. And so they cater everything towards these fucking losers. When in reality, most of us working class crafters, This is your working class story. Yes, and I think there should be a time limit on how long until you can FF. But the thing is, if, like, let's say we had a,

oh, you have to wait five minutes to FF. Well, for these guys, you know, you're halfway through the game. You know, like, if I added a 10 minute FF rule, you have to play at least 10 minutes. A scaling FF timer with rank. And that's what I'm saying. Sure. Maybe a scaling FF time rule.

I don't know. Interesting. I don't know. But the thing is we don't matter. So what's your goal? Get out of coal and then fix the system. Really? You're going to fix the system.

Change the game so I can win it more. Thank you. How to change games and influence devs. By having a million Twitter followers. Yes. So I'm working on changing it from the inside. I appreciate that. That's very revolution.

That's very patriotic of you. You're a patriot. I fight for working class. What's the New Hampshire motto? Live for your die. Live for your fucking die. Live for your fucking die. Liff here fucking die.

And I will fucking live fucking free. And West Virginia says, I'm on my derriad. I'm on my deriad. Don't talk to me. Are you going to go to like MineCon? I don't know what that is. Oh wait. Is it a thing? I think it is. Isn't that where that famous clip is from? Yeah, the Wham.

I need more wham. I think it is. No, I'm not going to go to that. Why not? Because I feel like I would come across like a pedophile. Speed run against Ludwig Booth and Kissing Booth. Oh, and a Kissing Booth. from Ludwig, the Ludwig, Minecraft con kissing booth.

And that's at minds on. Adults only. No ID check. Easy. We've checked it. No ID check. What are we? It's China.

They got their ID checked at the door. Come on. You couldn't see how this could be interpreted. And sometimes a shoulder rub. No one could see how this could be interpreted poorly. Interpreted by who? No, I think there's no cameras. Not only, not only am I coming to the realization that this could be interpreted poorly,

but I'm starting to think that all the times we've seen. said adults only previous to this that the same problem may have existed. Wow. What are you even talking about? You have a new view on life.

I'm revisiting all the times that we've brought this up. Yeah. And I can see the issue with it. When you have to say adults only it changes the vibe. You're weird now. Yeah.

You're getting weird now. Your vibes fucked up and weird now. Okay. For saying shit like that. I'm with him. I hate to be with him. I'm just... We don't even like each other

but we have to agree on this shit. worlds. That's weird. Two worlds, one C. Me and Ludwig. Sucking, fucking creating an Uroboros with our mouths. I would, I wouldn't, I would have. I'm fucking Ludwig on creative mode. First off, I would love to make an Oroboros with our mouth. Second, you should just start a Minecraft

hardcore run today. Dude, I would watch the fuck out of that. Everyone says it to you. You know what I thought about it it in the other day, but again, pooping and also I'm practicing Sagitt. It's definitely Sagot. Bob. Sagitt? Like Bob? I'm playing Sagitt in Street Fighter. So again, it's just not how

you say his name. Bob Sagitt. What? He's a Thai he's a Thai fighter. He's a Thai fighter. And you say it with a lot of aggression. What are you talking about? Okay. So I'm going to say it, how you should say it, Sagat. So the characters I play are Kamie and Akuma. Nope, nope, because I know where you're going. Again, I'm going to say how you say it, Sagat. I'm going to say how you say it.

I feel you're saying it. thing though. Okay, this is one, Sagat. This is two. Sagat. That's two or one? That was two. That was... You didn't do one twice. Which one was which? Okay, okay. So got? Yeah. Sagot! The same thing. One, one. Is there a two coming?

Okay. They're really similar. They're really similar. Oh, that makes sense. Okay. So there must be another. It's not like you, how you do the best by thing. Dude, you'd be so into speed running Minecraft. I don't fucking... I don't fucking... There's all sorts of little tricks and information. I don't think you should speed run it. I don't think you should speed run it.

I don't think you'd watch videos. Wait, what do you mean? I don't think slime would enjoy speed running. Why, bitch? You've never really done it. Yeah, he did a neon white. That's what's called? I played a lot of neon white.

Yeah, but I think that's like are different. No, my clocked hours fucked up. No, I'm not. Yeah, but like the whole game is like sort of centered around that. Like Minecraft speed running It's not the focal point of the game.

Yeah, I understand. But it's like the perfect game for like watching long fucking videos. for you know he likes that I think you're misunderstanding what I like I think he I think he likes learning the technical breakdown of how things work I don't think he

would care to learn how to do a housing route here's why I don't think Minecraft speed running is initially interesting is because there's there's so much shit in the game there's like capy bars and frogs and shit and I don't know what the it's too much to learn it's kind of like Tekken

like Street Fighter is easier for me because there's not a lot to you play you load up Sagit he has a couple of good combo roots. You got your D-I punish, your mid-screen, your corner, and all that, and it's like, it's very straightforward. Dude, you posted some shit about your sagot, like, routine or whatever. Yeah, my starting.

Yeah, your mixies. It's combos. Your mixies that you got. And I imagined, is it, were you just writing like, wave dash back F smash? No, they're combo routes. They're combo routes you need to know so your punishes aren't bad. Okay.

You get an opportunity. You need to take it. they good? Yeah, they're fine. They're not too hard. Some of them are hard. There's a lot of gaming going on between the four of us. We're gamers. We're back. Gaming's back.

If you ever have another one of those LAT&T fucking showdowns, I can teach you street fight. So they're a long-term partner. We got a... Beep. Really? Yeah, no, we like them a lot. Well, under the beep, he said, he said amazing.

So why beep it? He said, the raising the bar, AT&T partner. Raising the bar. Wait, what do we beep? Archie, dub it over. Okay, well, anyway, I can teach a street fighter.

I can teach you the tools you need to succeed quickly and fast. I can get you rich quick. Yeah, you can close that one, Calabal. Yeah, can close that one. Calbo's that one.

You can close that. Fuck. What happened? What happened? It crashed. We were in a call and the call crashed. And I'm trying to call,

I'm calling everybody right now specifically through Discord, and that's how I communicate with everyone. Call freaking crash. It's millions, bro. It was the Christmas jingle and it crashed

and I'm losing millions now. You use Discord. I use Slack. I don't have any other way to communicate with them and it's a business specific call and it's doing the Christmas jingle. Right.

He's still have that rash? He's got that rash, bro, and he was talking about it. Have you heard about Quo? What's that? Yes. Quid pro quo. That's quo.

Well, today's episode is brought to you by Quo. The Latin word. Spell QUO, the smarter way to run your business communication. Are you a shark? Who are you?

Your hands are all. Okay, you're a shark. Sharks. Sharks, I'm interested. What does this do to me? I think this would help you. It would consolidate a lot of the communication you do with Kelby and other people at the company, including me. Consolidate. Let's talk about that. What's that one? Instead of doing everything on Discord, which for some reason you... Stop. I don't do everything in Discord. I use Discord. Teams meet. I use Skype. Very confusing. That one is just for Christian.

I think this is part of the problem, Ludwig, is that you roll a wheel to pick which thing you're going to communicate with us today across a bunch of different things. And, quote, consolidates all of that in one easy-to-track place. You can handle calls and texts. I don't know a single business that uses it. I don't know any. How many businesses use it? Over 90,000 businesses use it already. What? Real quick. What is, what does consolidate meaning? Consolidate it means. The place is a country. It's a country where they put it all in one place. Hold up. I've actually heard of this product. I think it's easy to use. For calls, text, voicemails, transcripts, and contact details. Live in one clean.

view. One place that you log into Ludwig, instead of rotating between the assortment of apps that you use every day to talk to me. Okay. Well, I guess I'll make this the year where no opportunity and no customer slips away. And I'll try Quo for free plus 20% off your first six months when I go to Quo.com slash the yard. That's QUO.com slash the yard. Quo, no miss calls. I intentionally ignore Aiden. No missed customers. I intentionally avoid him as my customer. What? We got to get Kelby. We got to use Quote and kill him back in the home. We lost. millions on that deal. I'm your point.

I'm your point. You have to talk to me. You have to talk to me. You can intentionally or, I'm out. I'm out. Boopoo. Boopoo.

I'm getting a Skype call. I wrote down my gaming list, my gaming goals. Because I really want to end this year being louded. No. As a great gamer. Yeah.

Because I think I had a, I think I had a stinky 2025 in that regard. As a gamer? Yeah, I mean, I think I hit plat. And then it kind of, dwindled from there. 2025?

Yes. Last year. 2025 was... That was last year. Last year. Yeah. And now it was 2026, the year of the horse.

You think it was just stinky last year? That's my year. That's how you know. He hit Platt. Don't fucking do this. We all watched, we all sat there

with our fucking baited breath as he fucking won, got Platt in the final hour. And I don't think you want me to go through my gaming achievements in years before that. Oh. I don't think you want us to keep going down that road.

We could. Because certain years, you wouldn't love. We could do that. You wouldn't love. 2019? 2019, what did I do? I wouldn't like it. I wouldn't like it.

We don't talk about it. So I want to get, I had a goal of 16K and counter strike. Yeah. Is that high? I don't know. I don't know how high that is. You can do that. You can absolutely do that.

What is that relevant, relative? 16K is like. Is that platinum? No. Top. Is it golden league? say it's like the top of gold or plat. It depends if you compare it to like league or other games.

What are you? Um, um, uh, I'll stop playing Premiere. Yeah, but what are you? Like, what is it? I'm 18, 19? I think I'm 19.

But I peaked at 20. Peaked at 20. Which is basically, it's like diamond. But I'm playing face it now. And face it's different. Okay. Yeah. Yeah, so 16.

I think 16K would be good then. Solid fundamentals, a carryable teammate. Can we get that mouse pad size higher this time? You need a bigger mouse pad? Maybe get a bigger mouse pad. Well, here's a sense. You can absolutely hit 16. Okay, is, you know, I'm selling mouse pads that are perfect size.

I don't get my own product, okay? You're selling mouse pads? I got a, yes, I sold mouse pads and they're great, and I'm slang in product, but I never get to try my own shit. You never get to taste? I never get to taste. And I see this boy on his desk, he's got a whole fucking spread. You get to taste?

He doesn't get to taste. He gets full off that shit. I have one for you. Yeah, he has one for me. I have a new one. It's brand new. It's right there. You gotta wipe your ass with it first. I didn't wipe my ass. Yeah, it's all shit-stain because he wiped his ass with it. Why do you like he has? You know what happened earlier? This is not a joke. Me and Nick are just talking normal. Just having a lovely conversation like we'd usually do. Ludwig stomps in cracking the floor. Yeah. And he says to A.

we're paying too much in taxes. Yeah, he hits his belly and he goes boom and Aiden hears and stands up and he salutes. Yeah, it's like a gong noise. It's like, sir. The kingdom hearts heartless

that you can't attack until it is a lot. It is a lot. And then he starts bitching at Aiden and Aiden's like, I can explain. And he's like pushing up his glasses and his papers flying around and shit. And then he explains it

and he calms the beast. Because I would have really blown up. You would have thrown his fucking computer out the window and Ram's expensive right now. And it was really interesting that you're gonna sit here and not let him have a taste

when you've been tasting as much as you can taste. You can taste as much as you can taste. Give him a taste. Is it much as much? Am I giving the taste or getting the taste? You're getting the taste. She said I'm giving the taste. I should get it, I think.

Okay. Give him a little taste. Say I give you the taste. You have, so you want to hit 16K in Counterstrike. What else do you want to do? Well, I'd like to, I'd like to get at least gold in MCSR rank. Ranked? Gold.

Is that... Why did everyone make a noise? Because it sounds high. When you start at Cole, it sounds because there's playing Minecraft. Silver sounds lovely. You, well, first off, okay. What? YouTube, I put it up as funny.

What? YouTube ipid up is funny. Is it harder to get gold in Minecraft really? Is it hard? It's easier to get it in Minecraft for sure. Because it's just you. It's a 1V1. Here.

It's like, is it easier to get a thousand... Control. Control. Yeah. Yes. Yeah, because you control all the outcome. Yes. And league, there's a lot of variability.

We know. Me a little more. But we know. That's awesome. Yeah. You find out, well, I'm midline. Gold. Gold.

Valuable resource. All right, so you're going to golden fucking My Chemical Romance. Yeah. I have a slew of names. I'm trying to take down in brovy bros to regain. I saw that one.

Uh-huh. I thought you're talking about that. Um, and then, you know, I want to tackle some more single player games. I want to be Bloodborn, Sekiro. You should, you should Brovy Bro the yard. Each of you. In our best game. Like you're Scott Pilgrims. Maybe like we're a team. Yeah. I'm Scott Pilgrim and you're the ex-lovers.

Yeah, we're better at the games that we're good at in a brovie brovie bro. A traditional Brovie bro. It's nine games. A hundred percent. I'd lose that. You have... It's not even a question. You have two.

Stop, hold on. Stop bragging. We all know that. I'm unfathomably bad at general gaming. I think the only one that would beat me is Nick if the list

was curated in a way that helped him. Me and Nick spent 40 minutes on a level in the Polar Express video game. Oh my God. He was so bad.

Yeah. He was so bad. Hey, sorry I break you. You're both shit at single player games. You don't play them. I come in there. I play these GameCube games, I'm like, yep, yep, yep, yep, and I see the Matrix code,

and you guys are like, whoa. It is incredible. It's like an art form. I came in one time while they were recording the GameCube Explore show, and they were, I don't know, I don't even know what you're playing, but the level is like laid out. They're in one room, and slime is like, this is like, this is what's going to happen. We're going to find this. This door's going to open.

The enemy's going to prock like this, and then we're going to go through the next door like this. I've never played this game. And then he's never played or seen this game. All of it happens. I was like, how did you know? Just an artist with his brush. How did you know?

I can only play like two, three video games. Yeah, I was, I've been playing Kingdom Hearts with Cutie. And I realized she just doesn't fucking like the game at all. Oh, no. Like, is she on her phone while you play? And you're like, this is the part. She's not actually on her phone, but like, we pass off every death. But she doesn't like, like, I don't, I really shouldn't like any aspect of it.

Because, like, she doesn't like the boss fights. Because the boss fights are like, you know, a bit challenging or restrictive in some ways. She's like, yeah, you do that. And then she doesn't like backtracking. And I'm like, well, okay, the map is the map. You know, you got to travel around the map. And then she doesn't like, you know, the quest line aspect. She doesn't like the movement.

And I'm sitting there, what do you like? And I think the answer is she just kind of likes the cutscenes with this Disney characters. Yeah. Yeah. And so really, it's just a vehicle for me. But even though she's not picking up the story. I made a joke. I was like, good luck explaining fucking Zemness to her, bro, because it's not going to have.

It's not going to happen. It's not going to happen. It's just during the cutscenes. And she can act like she's right. She's the conversation. But I don't even think, she hates the gummy ship. Normal people don't like the gummy ship.

I mean, that's fair. Yeah, but it's tough. It's tough, but she doesn't like the other shit. Because you're usually like, oh, the gummy ship, you just get through it. It's fine, it's fine. Has the game aged well?

Yes. The Kingdom Hearts 1? 100%. It's a very slow start. Reggiegis-esque. It's fine. It's such true. has aged way, not, I wouldn't need to say

way better, but it's, it's, it's the melee of the games. You don't start with, you don't start with cure, you don't start with Dodge Roll, you don't start with scant, so you can't even see the enemy's health bars. You get them quick, man. I mean, quick is like five hours. That's a little long.

That's a little long. Kingdom Hearts 2 is also a motherfucker about this for, Eroxas for five hours, kill yourself. Yeah, but that's cute. That's a charming intro. It's a charming prolog. Uh, uh, You don't get it.

It's a charming prologue and it has the best music of any Kingdom Hearts. You don't understand. Region. Yeah. Twilight Town has the best music. It's good music, but it's relax. What was I going to say about that? Oh, my God.

My girlfriend got back from her trip home and she was really sick and she was like bagging me to hang out. I'm like, dude, shut up. I'm so tired of you. But no, I was like. I was like. Can you just say but no. That doesn't, like, salvage it, move it on. But, uh, no, I thought that was good.

She was like, can we play some games or something? I'm like, yeah. And, uh, I was like, do you want to play Fortnite? I kind of just had this, like, hankering. Yeah. And so I fire up Fortnite. I buy I show speed. I'm I show speed.

You can be I show speed. Yeah, I should be spraffy more. I'm sorry, I'm should be. So I'm speed. She's a default skin. I tried to gift her, like, money for a skin. Because she hasn't logged into her fortnight account in, like, years, it can't, it wouldn't let me. It's like a scam protection. Like, in three days, this,

this user can accept money and gifts. Like, I can't even gift her fucking, she can't be Kaisenat, I can't be at her speed. And so, but we play, dude, she sucks so bad. I was like, it was the, that's crazy because she's played war zone. I know. I couldn't get it, but she would just be in a skirmish and just absolutely throw up on herself. And I'm like, just crawling around. And I'm like, God, you have to clutch this one. You have to clutch it. And she goes, ah!

And a shotgun just blows her head off like a camelope. Wait, you didn't win any of your bot games? We won the first one. Okay, okay. We won the first one, and then they sort of putting us against real people, and it was a little harder. Yeah, it was no build. But it was really fun.

Is it still Springfield? No, no, no, no. Oh, okay. I'm glad it was fun. It was. Because it would be really said, if you were like, she wanted to play video games, I'm the one who suggested Fortnite.

She was shit. I had a bad time. No, no, no, no, no, no. It was, I'm making a joke about that, but it was, like, it was fun to sit and play. Like, we just kept playing games. We're, like, we got to get back the fuck in there, you know. And it's still good.

Non-gamer GF has recently been, because our girlfriends hang out. And so they talk about playing video games, and they've convinced my girlfriend to play video games. Yeah, your girlfriend famously, like, didn't know what melee was. She didn't know what Twitch was. That's fucking crazy. You should teach her, like, Sudoku.

Sudoku, she loves. that shit. I know. She'll get behind that shit. I'll teach her about the ring. You know about the Sudoku ring? There's like a hidden secret in Sudoku. If she wants to get pregnant, she can get pregnant though. She will. What is the hidden Sudoku ring? What the fuck are you talking about? There's like a cool like mathematic print. Do you guys actually care?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Are you a snore sound? I think if you start being boring, I'll let you know. So it's your job to be interesting. There's like a, there's like a mathematic principle in Sudoku that like basically states that like the numbers that are a ring around the center will like always be a very specific number like it'll always be the same no it's like it contained like yeah

this the the fistamel the fistamemafel ring that's a crazy name it's crazy fist ring I watched the whole thing breaking down how it works you're 30 shut up yeah I feel like you watch a video but you don't even know how to fucking explain this shit no but it's just like if you're into Sadoca you get it

I don't know I should have asked fan fan. Is it a way to beat it faster? In some cases because she's Asian? Because she said she like Sudoku. She said she played it, you fucking idiot. You were there. Why did you say that? Because I didn't know this information you guys knew. She was all the time. I wasn't there.

She was, you couldn't find a clip of it. You couldn't find a clip of it. I wasn't there. Just please play it. Why Sudoku can I? I don't know. I think it's like an Asian thing. I just like numbers. Ooh. So I feel that too sometimes. You just had a very Chinese time in your life. I know. I just, I've always loved numbers.

It's weird. Let's play any clip above his head. Anything. We've been playing Baba as you. We tried it and I was like, It's too hard. I don't need more. It gets real hard, though.

You're gonna get to float and floats too hard. Zipper laugh. How far are you? Not very far. Yeah, you're not at float yet because floats too hard. Because they're fun, though. They start off really fun.

It's kind of like the witness. The witness, the big filter in that is the greenhouse. A lot of people get to the greenhouse. house like you know what is the witness I played the witness for six hours is the witness the game you played with my little brother no that was six minutes that was tummy sticks

that was that was what you fucked your little brother that was raspberry first to cry for raspberry and I could not lose that night hot street he likes to giggle he got a little brother dude I can't wait to be his uncle

You should talk to your family about that shit, dude. That was fucked up. Like, he did that. Not ticklish on the armpits, weird. You know? You're that one of the whole arm. No armpits or feet for that guy. Tummy. All tummy.

It's interesting. It's interesting. It's interesting. It's interesting. It's unique. Yeah. So your girlfriend started to play games? No, that's good.

Yeah, we just been on a set. We got out of ascension 20's latest fire runs. It's getting sweaty on this bitch. That's pretty crazy. You're the Crimson Blur. You guys are turning into a hardcore gamer couple, I feel like. Yeah, she's into it now. She's playing Dark Souls.

Took long enough. I know, with the 10 fucking years. Took long enough. Like, she's being converted. We went to brunch. Who? Me and cutie. Who the fuck is cutie? My girlfriend?

Oh. breathtaking woman. Oh, so you're seeing someone? Yes. Who's this bitch messaging you? She's my girl. Oh my God. You got brunch with her.

You're on the side. You know this. They'll stay on the side. Okay, so you're hanging out with some bitch. You're all using the same. All using the same seat. And we go to brunch. And we're just like a little double date

with her normie friends. And. Oh. And we go to brunch. First off, if we get there, the brunch is 21 plus. I don't have my ID. A 21 plus brunch.

Yes. Is there like a DJ? They just have like a bar that's open. Oh, so. you got in, you can order. You don't have to show your idea at the bar. You know, yeah, but I had to fucking bring an ID even though I didn't drink, so I had to turn around. So we end up

being like 30 minutes late. That's not normal for you. You're not used to how that feels. He hates being late. Oh my God, it's the new year. You came here late, you piece of shit. I was late today. Yes, you fucking were. It was 11. It was supposed to get. He said 11 start. You rolled it at 1110. Kill yourself. I did not roll on it. In 2026.

Kill yourself. You were off by. You are so. Is there anything that happened Christian. Christian can vouch. Someone can do something. We haven't been able to do this in fucking three months. We have the security camera. By the way, you're not allowed to complain about me

being late for a year. No, it was until the end of the year you piece of shit. Archie rolled a clip. I swear to Jesus Christ. Anyway, for the rest of the year, you can't be mean to me for being late. A year, you misunderstood. It's not what you said. Oh, it's an important distinction. We should figure that out. It's a very important decision. It's to the end of the year

you said it multiple times. Anyway, you're at brunch, you fuck everything up. You're fucking late. You're 30 minutes late, which you never are. We're at the brunch. I'm never late. Okay. And then, and then, you know,

Cudy's friend is like, Ludwig, so like, what do you do on Twitch? Like, I don't really know what it is. And before I can say anything, Cudy chimes in, and she just goes, he's a lull cow. Oh, yeah.

And they don't know what that means. Dude, you're a cuck. And hold up. That's different. No, you're a cuck. Oh, why am I cuck now? And the loo cow.

Because your girlfriend. friends, she zips your lips, and she goes, he's a lull cow. And then she goes, she goes, eat up law cow, and you go, uh, and then she just puts the tongue, puts the spoon in your mouth. Anyway, for the rest of the year, you can't be mean to me for being late. Wow. Zipper. Shout out, shout out yard

stats. Zipper, you don't got to pull up fucking stats and information. Like, who gives me some of my God. It feels so fucking God! So is that where it ended? Yes, you're like, uh, yeah. So then after I just started grazing, I guess, on fucking grass. You're chewing your cubs. Did she sit there and explain what a lull cow was? No.

Wait, really? Gloss over it. They were just like, they were just like, they didn't learn what that meant? No, they were none the wiser. Did they care? Like, oh, drank seven moses?

I think it was like she went scommel. And then I continued like, oh, actually I play Minecraft. She might as well have yelled out like, you know, a German word. It didn't really register with the group. Do you think that you've become a lulcow? stole my shit for sure

it's all you talk about bro it's your fucking fan base is on Twitter talking about how big of a low cow you are where did this come from me imitating looph to your god jelly wig fucking loll cow jelly wig fucking low cow fucking coal one

fucking no and I think I think I think when I prove them wrong and I get my revenge on them they won't be talking so loudly. Oh yeah? Her friends? What does that mean? When they see what I do to them. Right. They won't be so loud about it. That's cool. Sweetheart. You spending a lot of time making Doom maps. Yeah. Yeah. Just why does that, why does it look like your school? They'll see. It's just a map I made

From memory. From memory. I did. I watch your stream these days, especially in that fucked up weird, insane pocket dimension that you stream from. But it's like,

you're saying like, I want to show them all. I'm the pettiest motherfucker you know. I want to show them all. I'll show them all. And I think it is a good motivator, but it's not going to fulfill you. Is this your only...

I don't need to be fulfilled. So you want to be a better... I just need to be moving. You want to be a better gamer in 2020. in 2026. Yes, bitch. You have these goals. I like that.

Yes, bitch. Surely you've something else. You kind of implied that you had something else earlier besides gaming being your resolution for 2026. I want to do a handstand. We can do that right now.

For 30 seconds. These are the resolutions of like an eight-year-old. Yeah, dude, yes. I want to do a cartwheel and I want to play video games. And I want to be the best. Mycraft.

More Minecraft. I want to do a handstand for 30 seconds. Or a handstand push-up. Okay. What is it then? Both. Okay. Yay.

Both. Okay. I can't do a hands down. That's beast. Oh, and we got to hit Platt together, butt ass. Maybe. Come on. You got to hit it first.

Come on, motherfucker. You got to hit it first. What are you talking about? So I have to hit it and then we hit it again? We'll both be in lane. We will be in a normal playing field. I'll be ahead of you. The issue is you right now have never shown the ability to hit Platt, right?

But neither have you in Midlane. I've shown the ability to hit Platt. Oh my God. I don't know, man. So I have to sit there and get Platt and then do it again with you? Yeah, because like you are... Does he need a new account? I would have to get a new account.

Right now you're like 200 games away from Platt or something. Whatever it is. Whatever it is. And like if we were to be trapped in a room, like we, they wouldn't be feasible to do it in that time. You like, you need to have the ability to do it. But literally, you've never been like in the middle. And I've done it. I...

Do you see how it's kind of... Twice. All right. You know what? You're right. You're right. I feel it every time you bring this up. And I wish for the love of God I remembered who this was, but I was talking to somebody who is a good at league. And they told me that jungle is the hardest role to climb it. They all have different fucking opinions. It is. And you know who will tell you opposite? Who? Lainers. Yeah. Right? Like what is what is the hardest thing? The thing that I do. The thing that I do is the hardest. I'll hit platinum jungle and then we'll go to the lane. That's fine. That sounds good. That would be. That would be okay. with me. It's easier if you're good at Jungle, which I am. A Root Awakening in three,

two. Wait, why don't, it should be, shouldn't it be you guys, you pushed a Platt and then you guys duo to Emerald or something? Or is it a race to play? That's a little much. I, I, I think realistically, like, the goal of duing to Platt would be to do it in

a new environment. What's the point of you guys duo in the plat? The idea, it's, either way, we either duo or we play against each other, but I really want to be locked in room for a week or longer but out on the same seat uh on the same seat in different rooms very much like the same seat different realm because i think it'd be really fun and it's truly is a way for me to beat him and me and a aden will do the same thing with a different game

it would be amazing and it wouldn't be alex you guys finish you what do you want to carry me through what you want to play man well you know what i always wanted to do was the time you you brought up playing Halo together because I've never played I've never played Halo together I've never played through Halo Oh my god you guys were getting the Wardhog That'd be so fun We could do the vidmaster challenges

That would be fun It's like a series of challenges for in Halo 3 And I think somewhere in ODST I don't remember But back in the day when you played Halo The only way to get recon armor Was to make it on bungee favorites Which was like the page in the game

Where like they posted the funniest screenshots That people would take in and whatever you couldn't get it you couldn't unlock it in the game you had to get gifted it by an employee or whatever until ODST came out

or reached whichever one it was I get to those confused but they came out with a series of challenges and if you did all of them you got recon and Halo 3 and they're pretty hard at least they were when I was in they're quite hard

a freshman year in high school but yeah it's like be one of the maps without ever getting out of your ghost like your vehicle and if it blows up it also counts as getting out and you can't get any one you lose you think I could do this

you gotta be firefight with like all these skulls activated so it's like headshot only and like all the shit no definitely not I wasn't fucking asking I'll tell you the answer your girlfriend called you a lull cow in front of her friends in front of normal people

I did it when I was 15 so we could do it in our 30s right you should do that I would love just two 30 year old guys just kicking back on the same halo seed and on one shot you one shot it one we don't leave the room until

wow Hold on, stay still. There. And now. I want to do a stream where I play every call-duty campaign. You guys ever see weapons? That's it. I've not seen weapons.

No, I haven't. I saw the talented Mr. Ripley. That's like that. It's the same thing pretty much. It sounds similar. I had a thought earlier real quick before we get back to the video game thing. Could Mr. Beast assemble a football team

that was just the best? With all his money. He's spent all the way. I don't think he has that, probably. In college and NFL? NFL? No. He doesn't have enough money.

Because he buy the players. Because there's a salary cap and it's less about like having money and it's more about how effective you are using it. What if he was like on Mr. Beast and I can put you, I'll put you all in a box and give you. I don't think like, and I'm just shooting from the hip here. I don't think like a professional NFL player making like 300 million cares. Mr. Bees, 300 million Mr. Bees, no that is? Dinner. Here's what he could do.

Dinner for Mr. Bees. That's dinner and a few naked models to eat it off of. I'm going to give you credit here. For Jimmy, you seen the penis picture, dude? It's big as fuck. It's big as fuck. What is it? It hangs.

I'm going to give you credit here. Okay. Because there's a guy who theorized about him doing this with ECU, East Carolina University, small college. It's the college he uses for, you know... Farming for his videos. Farming for his vids.

And he could make their college football program probably top 25. in the country. Just inject crazy amounts of money, scouting. Just scholarships and shit. Doubting scholarship. Like for players? You don't need scholarships anymore. You just pay them directly. I just meant like you just find the best

players. You give them full rides and you fucking... You don't give you know, that's not about four. They don't care about four. They want 10 million dollars. They get that in college? Yes, yes. They're allowed now to be paid to be college. They just get paid. Oh my God. For a long time though, they were playing for nothing. Imagine you were a fucking D1 college, fucking like MVP.

Didn't make it to NFL, but it was before the The year before. Oh, my God, you're so mad. Imagine you're Reggie Bush. You're the best college player in the country. You won the Heisman, but they gave you a free car and, like, rent worth 80K, and then they stripped you of your Heisman trophy. They stripped.

They took it away from you. And now kids are making 20 times that much. Oh, and they're drop shipping now. And they're drop shipping as well. Oh, my God. They're making mouse pads that you can't even taste. Dude, there's more millionaire 15-year-olds now than there ever has been, ever. Yes.

That's crazy. Miles? Miles did a sprinter view that he told me about and I don't want to sell out the business but this guy, he found a guy he's being awful in game, interviews him after and he keeps bragging, like keeps deflecting and bringing up the fact that he mocks him

with his money. Okay. I just, I make 150K a month. I make 150K a month kill yourself like that type of shit. Yes. And Miles just, just neos his way through the conversation and starts asking him like personal, like genuine personal questions. This guy drop ships a pet product and markets it on Facebook and Instagram and just makes like made the whole website with AI made fake AI videos and then just makes like fake health claims about the product and he makes 150k a month so he says this guy no I think you're convinced he showed him how's the back end like the Shopify back end of what he makes and then he showed him the

website and it's real and then I brought up the brand with a I just told this story to a random friend and said this is the brand that this guy runs and they were like oh my god I see that on Facebook all the time league the brand because I can't that guy said the end word in a league game bro we're not putting him on a pedestal

we're not giving him more money it's not about that it's about getting sales someone with a racist viewer with a pet will say that's for me and that's another sale to that guy you're on the opposite end of this I think

If the, if it leaked, like maybe he loses his project or something. Oh, that'd be fun. Oh, then we should do it. No, I don't want to sell. I'm telling you guys this in confidence. I'm going to get Miles to tell me, and then I'm going to say it on the show next week. So it'll be not... Then it will not be my, it will not be my responsibility. It would be yours.

I can't believe you want to protect a racist guy. I didn't say he was racist. But you want to protect his business. I didn't say he was, he... Why don't you think he was getting a sprint review? Nothing Miles said about this guy implied he was racist. He was just me. Do you think you made up the racist?

You made it up the racist thing. If you're a terrorist in league enough to get miles to interview you, you have to be racist. You probably are racist? You probably are. All you do is play league all day. You drop ship?

Yeah, yeah, you're fucking really woke. Fucking kill yourself. What are you talking about? I didn't say he's woke. I'm just, I don't want to, I'm not burning my journalistic bridge. That's fair. Because I learned,

that's journalist. I learned all of this in confidence, so I can't, I. That's fair. The guy who uploads 10-hour videos of fireplaces makes a million dollars on those, dude. Do you see that fucking post? What? Did he make like a hundred million?

Yeah, well, the one video of ten hours of a fireplace. What? What? YouTube guy. Those numbers. You don't believe them. Those fake numbers. You think Dexterto isn't a charitable or a genuine journalist? One of the worst.

You don't be the reputable. One of the worst. You're fucking kidding. I think all they did is they looked at the Social Blade expected earnings and then just posted that. And that's The range is absurdly high And the numbers are pretty off I mean they're just making Twitter posts they're not

But you know they could make mint Sure You know who makes a lot Lofi girl Oh my goodness Well that's a business now Did they get purchased? Run by a man They don't get purchased Run by a probably by another man

It's not run by a Lofi boy No it's run by a chud It's a big old chud My girlfriend forgot me For Chris she has these really like Crazy coffee beans Because I'm obviously a coffee man now And has a bear on it right

Stemptown coffee. Of course. And she's like, look, it's a bear. And I'm like, oh, cool. And these beans and it's like, and it says, like, woman owned. And I'm like, ooh. Ugh. And I'm like, all right, let's give these fuckers a shot.

Best poor over have ever had in my life. My God. They can fucking grow some beans. Those women can grow some beans. And they put a bear on the bag. But it's funny. It says it all. There's a bear and women owned, I guess, and I guess that's the recipe.

It's funny to me that you're a all protein bars taste good and the same to me guy and also a coffee is different and I can tell the difference and I have preference and taste in coffee. Those two things that battle me in my head. The difference is that I can drink instant coffee slop and still be like fine with it. I'm not like oh, that's too much

for me. Like I can appreciate the whole range of the world. I love I love Joe. I don't like the middle range. I don't like the coffee that's trying to be good. That isn't. But I'm like bad coffee. Sure. You know, I'll take like a hotel coffee or like a gas station, a

Curig. But I don't I don't want the Starbucks of the world that it's like we're premium and it's like No, you're not. This is, um, I'll do this. It's the sincerity of it. Yeah. It's like this is slop and this is big shit.

Doesn't insist upon itself. That's right. Oh my God, you guys. Is it time? I thought is it. Sometimes it still happens sometimes. Okay. Well, if you got to poop, go poop buddy.

I don't hold it. We still have like seven minutes, I think. Oh, that's so mean of you. That had base. It's still going. That is so gross. Left to 10 more? Did you make it smell or not?

Why did it have... I did. That's so mean of you, bro. Why would you do that? I can't stop it, but what if... You definitely force it out. He loudly sniffed. He loudly sniffed. That picked up.

No, it didn't. You wanted to try it. I wanted to try it. It doesn't smell. Okay, so you don't know if you can... I lost my powers. Oh my gosh. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. This thing just took it away from me. It's like, uh, edge of tomorrow when Tom Cruise loses his blood. It's like, it's like, that. It doesn't smell. I promise you. I would never do this to you. I'm not going to check. I mean, I can't check. I would never do this to you. Trust me. I can't trust me. I can't smell anything. I can't smell anything. I don't smell anything.

It doesn't smell. I would never do this. No value. No policy here. Not political here. I'm okay breathing my own musk. Elon. shit. Okay, it does smell. Put it up. Put it up. Put it up. No. It's crazy. It smells like popcorn. Dude. I don't know why. It's so good to be bad. It's not. I'm just so excited. I needed this. I wasn't late, dude. You were fucking late, bitch. I wasn't. Dude, I got here at 11-01. When did I show a...

Later than me. So you showed up late? One minute. So then why is the pot talking to me? Because the pot is talking to a bigger pot. That is not how it works. Pot friend. Pot's a pot. Make me stop. Pots a pot. Make me stop it. Oh, fucking kill you, bro. You can't do shit. And the Bronkeys are going to win the Super Bowl and I'll punch you in the stomach. If the Bronkeys don't win, I punch you in the stomach. You guys need a competition with each other this year, I think. want to get butt-ass some sort of goal but that's together

it could be against each other I like it against it's better if it's against I think so too because together it doesn't really it's just a there should be a wheel

spin where you play the next game together that's kind of funny I like that here's the fucking deal bro what's the deal historically it doesn't end well

for him it's true yeah but this could be the difference this could be the time when does it not end well for them in the competition

in the 1V1 yeah between the two of you? Yeah. Every time we like go head to head he always just wins out because I tilt and he stays cool. What are the example? melee? I think yeah, melee

stuff like that. I think he's right and but I go in armed with this knowledge in an arena where I feel confident like something like League of Legends and I'm like you know what? And Ludwig's in Lane. He hasn't placed a ward

in 40 minutes. Dude right I would love to see y'all hit Platton Jungle easily incoming games 450 later Gold One

Like not gonna be a fun journey for y'all Dude jungle your way to Platt so you guys can do this bullshit I think I'll just fucking send it Once this new season starts Before they change a fucking video game I can't bring myself to open that fucking game

Dude you know what I realized too is I was playing a little bit And I was like Let me say how it feels and I would play some games and I didn't feel the need to queue up again, which is, I was like, oh, I guess I am actually free. Without the goal, I'm like, meh. Yeah, it was interesting.

But I get that the average player has the goal constantly. Yeah, the goal keeps increasing. But I think, like, if you're able to feel satisfied being a top 65% player, that's really good. Yeah. Yeah, that is gold, top 65? 75 for the lowest rank, probably. but but it's in there I had three

that's a little higher but it's in there I actually don't know with the breakdown I think gold is yeah I think it's top 70% That's no way It's gotta be higher than that

No because Platt's top 50% Or no actually wait Potts gotta be way higher than 50 No in league it is higher I think Platt's like top 30 or something And I think gold's 30% of players So top 60 maybe It's tough game

What can you do What can you do What does the fuck about Valerant Right guys What happened to that game Dude, no one plays it, but people play it. People do play it, but no one plays it. People don't be playing it anymore.

Like, no one would be no plays it. Go down. 22%. Yeah, kill you. So I think it's top 55% then, right? 30. Oh, I see what they're doing. 52.

You have to add it all up. Wait, so top 48. Top 48. Top 48 if you're old. Damn, I'm awesome. There you go. Top half. Yeah, man.

Top half of players. No one could take that away from you. And nobody, and I've always said you're great. I always said you're great. And I like that. Real quick before we wrap up, Aiden. What? Thank you.

For what? Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Well, at the end of last year, I had a scary moment where I thought I was going to have to say it. Because we couldn't get a customer his merchandise. Did he get it? Can you play the video?

Dear Ludwig, may this be my final video. Because you promised me that on the 24th I would have my merch. and well you kept your promise pal dude I can't believe oh my god dude his name on hashtag is ran through 4

hashtag thank you hashtag Ludwig hashtag promise hashtag viral wow so thank you fucking salute that soldier man you're welcome you're welcome

I Thank you for me and ran through. I'm a little sad because it would have all been over. And you were excited for that? And I would have been free. But you would have been free. It's like when the client goes down. You don't have to queue again.

Hey man, if you still want to make that video and just hand it to me, I'll accept it. All right, guys. I'm wraps up the yard. Welcome to the new year. And welcome to new, welcome to new beer that your dad is drinking. Your dad's an alcoholic. I'm sorry to tell you there now. Yep. And if you don't click on the Patreon up, right now he's gonna hit you really hard. I gotta go poop and we'll see you in the bonus.