The Yard - Ep. 233 - Ludwig made her cry...

Episode Date: January 14, 2026

This week, the boys talk about Slime podcasting with Valkyrae, Ludwig losing to Stanz in minecraft speedrunning, and how Ludwig shut down the gucci store.. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Before we were recording, Nick Engling said, I like it better when I get money back for my taxes instead of owing it. I think. So we started tier listing because definitely S-tier is getting money back, right? Yeah, it's probably not owing anything. It's probably floating somewhere on B-C tier, dependent dealer's choice. But owing money, that's F-tier.

Oh, it's definitely the worst. It's definitely lower than the rest of them. You hate to owe money. But if you give an interest-free loan to the government, get a little back. What's not paying? What's not as the B or C in the middle?

No like not paying. Not paying you live with the fear. Like avoiding? Yeah. That's actually the most interesting part of the tier list. Well you live with the fear that you may get caught one day and the consequence will be greater.

It's A till it's F. Or you live to the, you live with the rush that you could be caught one day. Sorry, sorry. I live life with more love than you with more lust. You are a lapdog cuck to the IRS.

Do not act like you're defiant. I'm defiant. Because you came in it. You came in it. You came in that one day and said, we're paying too much in taxes. Yeah, you're not defying anything. I'm defiant, bro.

You're not defiant. I know you're not defiant. Listen to me. Let me correct it. It doesn't matter how defied you. What's that boy's name? Michael Powell. Chairman of the Fed.

Austin Powell. Listen up. We know where you live with the fucking blade. Oh, I didn't know he was going to say that when I said. A company by Nick Verchillo. There you go. If you make me pay taxes this year. Jerome.

You also. messed up his name. Jerome. Sorry. No, I'll redo it. Thank you guys. Jerome Powell.

You know who you should be going out as fucking Glenn Powell because I'm sick of him being in every fucking movie. Glenn Powell, when the camera pants you, don't do this. And stop hugging on

Sidney, dude. She's not in the camera. She's not like you. That's my screen girlfriend. He's not hugging on her since she got the gene deal.

I like the idea of Jerome Powell once again making a broadcast with the American people and be like, uh, his name is Ludwig Ogren. He's after me.

So there are two people now that are threatening me. I'm sending the other 11 voters from the Fed chair to kill him. Dude swapped Jerome Powell and Colin Powell for a day. Okay. You're just naming guys you know. What's Colin Powell? What was his position in the Bush administration? Colin Powell?

Yeah. Ain't that the guy with Sidney Swinney? She doesn't like him older. I didn't know he's in the Bush administration. Yeah. That's cool. Yeah, he did the Bush administration, and then he did Top Gun Maverick. Which made sense, because he was a military guy.

I was a whale siding. Oh my God. No. You're not well watching. Okay. What? What? What?

Did you not do lemonade stand with Atriok? Oh, maybe he rolled into the room the other day? Yeah. Like a catamari? Dude, Dougook's pushing him? I got a seismic alert on my phone. I check it. He was running on the treadmill in our warehouse.

Yeah. I check it today. There's just two holes where the feeder's supposed to be. Yeah. Wait, let me get in there. He has breasts. Large ones. Yeah.

Large ones. Oh, now I feel bad, man. Why? If you guys haven't seen what it looks like lately, look up Mike Israeli. If you haven't seen what he looks like recently, just look outside. Yeah.

It's like end of him in Gellion. He's just the face looking at the sky. Oh, no. Yeah. Bullying is bad. It is. It's good, man. We bully any vets on Twitter and we bully H. Rock.

Spiritually the same person. For context, for the first time of my life, I'm one pound lighter than him. Let's fucking go. Yeah, I saw him, like, the day you said he was super fat now, and he looked so normal. Yeah. And I was like, everyone, I didn't say, let me. Everyone's saying you're fat. Yeah.

And he's like, why is he's, why? Everyone's saying I'm fat. Because he's 182 and I'm 181. He started sitting like this. He started sitting like this. He's doing these ones? Yeah, he's doing the... There's a tweet that's like, dude,

a fat guy could be like dying on the ground and he'd still lift up his shirt. Yeah. Yeah, the shirt that pull down. And I say this as, you know, I'm the fat as I'm the fat as ever there. I'm not a skinny fat genius. Dude, I'm like 185.

Dude, that's not even that bad. I mean, for me, short king. Yeah. Pretty bad. You're not short either. What is... Let's talk nice to our friends this year. How about that?

What? Let's talk nice to our friends. You're being nice to each other. You're being nice to guys. What are you going to lay down on us? I'm not laying down. I just think... How bad is it?

I don't like when you're mean to my friend. Is it bad? What? Oh, my God. Oh, it must be horrible. You're terminally ill. I discovered. My doctor tells you.

The worst part of that would be that you got to tell me. Oh. I don't know Ludwig telling me I'm terminally ill. And we hired an outside actor to tell you, and then I show up. Yeah. Dude, on the other side of that, being the one to tell Ludwig, he's going to die. Oh, my God. He'd be, like, how are you going to put this on the floor?

You'd be so disappointed because you'd say it'd be like, oh, cool. Yeah, you wouldn't fucking, you wouldn't reply. You'd be, you would just reply like, okay. Yeah, sure, seven works. Cool. But then you would, but then you would start to wither, like, Steve Job. No, no, no, no. Only eat vegetable?

No, I'd go out in a blaze of glory. Okay. You're dying. Yeah. What is your, you're not allowed to go to the doctor? No, I don't go to the doctor. I go to Planet Fitness. So I was going to say, what's your strategy?

You're gonna. What? You walked down Planet Fitness. Why would you walk down Planet Fitness? Because they signed the Lunk Alarm on me, 2011. I didn't forget. Oh my God. I didn't forget.

I'd say this is for the Lung. I'd shoot the Lunk Alarm first. Of course. And it's going off the whole time. It'd probably go down when bodies hit the floor. It'd probably start going off then. It would think they were lit. Look at work now!

Too much racket. This is what Atroc is actually going to do if you keep this shit up. You're a free wage. Except point of fitness for Atriok is just our office. It's going to be here. The walkdown is going to be here. Well, Atchrock would be safe because he wouldn't be at the gym. So there's no chance he might have shot.

Well, he'd actually be a hero because every bullet would go into him. Local man with an orbit saves planet fitness from peril. Poor guy. He's like he grinded YouTube last year. He's got the year of health. He's been working out every day since Christmas. Never in my life have I thought of A Trioch is fat. He shows up. He hasn't missed a day of the gym yet. Yeah. And he's doubling up some days. He runs A lot of stuff. And it's, yeah, probably shouldn't even call him Weight Trioch. I'll tell you what else he hasn't missed a day of.

Dude, Waitriac is crazy. Dude, you have a gift, bro. Probably shouldn't even call him Waitrioki. Dude, I'm all, I don't know if you've noticed, but I'm all out of, I'm all out of sweet podcast milk. I'm all at a sweet podcast milk for you. Oh, yeah.

What was your day like? Why are you out of milk for us? So I basically, I got all my milk, you know, taken out of me by a machine right on the whineabout machine. A machine run by Scootish. Scootish.

Scootish runs that machine. That's right. runs a machine he hooked you up yeah he hooked me up to the cock milking machine that is swine about it that sounds bad but basically i covered i covered for ludwig and i i went on wine about it unbeknownst to valkyuree so i i literally show up to the set and i'm just doing this yeah and i'm just like hello welcome and she's like it's i don't hit my tongue i know your name it was kind of like that. And I show up like the bright...

Was Cudy there? No, she wasn't there? No, she's at home. She's in Utah. She was you in Valqueray? Yeah. She was in Utah and she, I don't know where she hatches plan, but she's like, I'm going to tell Valcurey that

she's doing a podcast with you, but it's going to be slime. That's awesome. And I was like, okay. By the week, I hatched the plan in front of you. I said this would be funny. And you said, yeah, sure. And I could see the, the dollar signs in your eyeballs of not having to do something. You can't, you couldn't have messaged cutie fast enough.

and you don't even remember I think this is a great idea what if I didn't have to do it and slime did it like in place at me all I know is all I was supposed to do is not blow your cover which I low key did because I went live at 945 that was insane

because I just forgot and I was just live and then she messaged me she's like I'm running late and I was like oh no worries just hoping she doesn't check the stream I'm so mad because I got that I'm waiting in my car because it's supposed to be like a surprise

I'm like around the corner and like her assistant and the producer like how you're on the core like she's fucking recognized you I'm just sitting in my car there's nowhere else to sit right and then and then the producer like okay she's running late she's gonna be here late and I just see Ludwig has gone live getting Minecraft gold

diamond today's I'm diamond guy iron I was going for iron and I hit cold too that's actually even better because then she has a moment where she she thinks Ludwig's doing a very classically Ludwig thing did he forget like oh my god he's streaming she definitely did not think this is a slime bait and switch no not enough How did it go?

Because she left upset. Well, how do you know that? Because she messaged me. And she said, you betrayed me. Yeah. I can't believe you did this to me. I was so tired and I prepped for you.

And my first time was, what do you mean you fucking prepped for me? Like, we've done like eight fucking streams together in the last three months. She had to reinforce the couch extra weight. She didn't even prep her history presentation. Yeah,

I'm like, what are you talking about prep? Like you, what are you just watch one of my, like what are you talking about here? It sucks, I have to blow her up for this, but her prep was literally three lines on her notepad app, and those three lines were three words each.

So that was her prep. No, no, it's not a setup. Two words. It was just three things. She's like, look at all this prep I did, and I'm like, you did, girl, yes, you did. Wow. And you paid for the full procreate membership. I don't think you needed that because you talk about drawing a lot.

Yeah, I mean, look, she was upset. She ended up crying, like, she, yeah, Like, wait, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, crying? You end up crying. It was, it was more like, you made her cry. You made her cry.

I feel like. She was on Vogue, dude. I didn't really. You're gonna show up in the same van. Connery's pants is gonna end up in. Vogue. You kind of, wait, it was Vogue Philippines?

She was in Fogue? It was in Fogg. She was in Fong. And shout out of the Philippines. I mean, it's a great place. Yeah, yeah. It's just not the first stop when we think about Vogue, I guess.

Anyway, yeah, so I was saying shit like that. And it basically, you know, You've crossed lines that you don't mean to cross, and sometimes people get really upset in the studio. Did it actually go bad? No, it was really good. No, it was fine.

Because she left mad, actually. I think she was mad that we both, you know what we did at the end and the beginning, in the middle of it all? We bonded pretty quickly over you being just a son of a bitch, piece of shit. Yeah. I made her cry the other day.

Yeah. I heard about, you're calling her like, didn't you say, you said that you made her feel bad that she was like the anchor on the CS team or she thought you meant. It wasn't even CS.

We were playing Minecraft with Shared Health. That's what it was. And she was the anchor and I fucking brought it up and then she was all, then she was then she was like, what should we go? And I was like, oh. You old did she olded.

She didn't even all. I just heard it in her voice. And I was like, you're not an anchor. We're all an anchor combined. We're an anchor. You're one piece of an anchor. I'm a piece too. Do you ever think that you might need to be

more kind? to the women in your life. Woman, if you've got a three in your age and it's not the second digit and you're crying at Minecraft, I don't think, I don't think that nobody's done anything wrong.

I think it's just on one side, it's like, you've cried at Minecraft. The only, yeah, of course. Well, you're a coal player, I make sense. It's like you excruciating down here. Are you iron now? No, Nick, I'm cold too.

I went down. Oh, that's crazy. Don't, zipper, don't go. Zippers's following the same. Saw her very closely. Bro, because he likes Minecraft. You know I'm getting persecuted. What do you mean you're getting persecuted?

Did you know what Romans did to Jesus? Is it because they're taking you to the end? We talked about this, bro. I'm losing, if you look at the time, so look at the time, right? So you see, you see it says lost. Dude, you got diced up by BB Bald? First off, I'm getting stream sniped. There are fucking smirps.

How can you get stream sniped in a speed running? Bro, you lost a stance? Were you here when we talked about this? You lost a stance? Oh no. He has a kid. Like he just had a kid. That's pretty bad.

Does Stans even play this game? Stans is a higher, I think, I know he's a lower rank. He's Cole one. Stans is Cole one. Okay, here's the deal. Stans. Wait, wait. Oh, one is the lowest?

That guy's name is Aviv. I thought it was the highest of Cole. Cole three. Yeah, yeah. That guy's name is Aviv Gayer. Wait, it said forfeit. You forfeited to Stade? Yeah, okay.

So I was watching his stream and I was doing some work. I wasn't live and I stream sniped them. And it turns out it's so easy. All I did is I saw him click the start. matchmaking button and I clicked it and it was my first attempt. Wow. And then I recorded my POV. Here's the deal. I had an hour 15 of computer time and then QD told me she needed it at 430. And she needed it to do a Zoom memorial meeting like a memorial service. Like a funeral? Yeah. Like it was like a it was like a in memorial like a veteran like record something.

No it's for it was for Donya, the chess player. But she had to like a record like a memory and and they're making like a. And so she's like she told me she has this. And I'm like, that's important. Yeah. And I'm like, I have an hour of 15, let's boot up a game. You're like, babe, it's anyone else, but I'm playing stands. I can't pause. But just to be clear, I fucking, I closed out. Like, I FFed. But the run was going so

badly for both of us that an hour in, we were both basically at step two of seven. Okay. So I just, I had to, I just had to, because there's no way I could have won, so I just FFed. So he won. So he won, yes, he fucking. You know what? You having to explain this doesn't make you look good.

Okay, I still have a question. I still have a question. And I don't feel like this was answered the last time we talked. Because I understand that most of the time these end in forfeits. But people drive you insane, so they played all the way out.

It's like, I'm coming here and you guys are like, kiddo, explain why your dog should have got it. I'm like, brother, like, I don't come back. I don't retain the information. I don't know. We're being nice to our friends.

I don't come back from the 55s over at fucking, at the park down the ways when you get your shit push in. Oh, because StreamSnipe, he lets them understand how deep you are on the run because you only get certain checkpoints normally. Yes. They know exactly

and they know exactly where I am that beating me would be the greatest accomplishment of their Minecraft career. But you snipes stands? So it's like what goes around comes around. I had a stream closed and I recorded my POV so you know it's honest. It's also different like you know we've sniped

each other in these times in these hard times. You know I think I actually don't think I've ever sniped you because I know you'd freak out and kill everyone in the office But I don't think you've In the snipe atriac The blood would have covered the entire earth

We could be honest You've never been You've never been in a rank Where you could snipe me in a game Whoa I think we have Ever Aiden claps back

Oh my god It's just wouldn't be possible I've never ever ever He said never ever Okay This seal learn how to clap Ahton lying about having the flu

Coming in with a mask Because he can't stay away From his computer for a day getting everyone sick. Wait, this happened? Absolutely disgusting. Why did you do this? This didn't happen.

Did you come under the mask? Do you think, hold it, let me ask you this? Let me ask you this. Do you think it happened the way he said it? Just yes or no. Do you think it happened the way he said it just now? Please. I love the defense.

Is this a real court? I would let you talk as long as you wanted. Intrinsically. Intrinsically happened? Indubidably. Intrinsically. I came to the office. on Friday afternoon in a mask

after I knew everyone except Nick Yingling had left to play Counterstrike because Nick Yingly sits on the other side of the room and he said it was okay that I came in a mask. And that's the mortal difference. See, that's what makes him climb that rank ladder. Because he's coming on sick days. He's willing to

come on a sick day. I didn't get somebody else hurt too along the way. Oh, I work on a sick day. That's your Jordan Fluigin right there. My Jordan Fluig Flugan. Yeah, and guess who hit a new level and face it? This guy. This guy. I don't know what fate. I don't know. He's level seven now. I also think you didn't have the flu

because you were like fine. I did. The flu's like a big deal. I get fucking kills you. No. I had the flu though. I got like 13 COVID boosters. That covers the flu probably right.

I'm just tracking. I'm tracking the information. My girlfriend got the flu. She tested positive for it. I developed the same initial symptoms as her. And I just, I have the strongest immune system of us all. I tanked it.

I have to believe him. Because he never got our poop disease. And then, And he said, you know what, people at the office be damned, I need to go to my computer. Dude, I asked the one person there for consent. Beast mode. I think, and at mobile moves, we call that beast mode. Those are the kind of things we consider beast mode at mobile moves.

I guess he even went beast mode today. Whoops, I would. I hate to go beast mode. Is the flu test store bot? Can you buy like a normal flu test? She didn't test for the flu? I don't think. That's the lie.

It's more lies on top of each. It's like, it's like, you know, like it's like a COVID test. I don't think you have a girlfriend. It's all in one. It's all in one. It's like three. You just pee on a pregnancy test and sometimes it comes to the F. Shampoon conditioner together.

And you're like, oh, okay. I thought it was a baby. Well, man, dude. I think you've been lying about your whole life up to this point, Aden. Me? Yeah. Yeah, dude, I'm fucking sick of it. Dude, I called my mom.

I was talking to her. This is important. What have I lied about? I talked to my mom. And breathtaking woman. And we were just chat. say? And we were just chatting and

and she interjects and she's like oh what I'm into Eden? And I go, what do you mean? What? And then she was like you quit the podcast and her franchisee said.

And she thought that you quit. Rumor travels quick. She thought you quit and laughed. I didn't quit, dude. Wish you would. That's what I told us. I said wish you would. you don't even want to do the fucking advice show with me man

you oh my don't even get me started what happened Thursday he doesn't even want to do it with me he starts prostit it's like it's like you tell your girlfriend you never get me flowers and then he's buying flowers for seven days in a row and it's like no you don't get to just do it all you don't get to make it all the flowers I guess we don't do it you don't get to make it all up right away I guess we don't guy who forgot to do the advice show for eight weeks in a row yeah I'm not that sick let me wear a mask when I go

What is happening? I've never said that. I never said I forgot. Yes, you did. You did. Did I use the word of forget? I forget. I just forget. I really forget. And I say, man, if you forget, we shouldn't do it. And it becomes a whole thing. What is it happened? No politic here. No politic. This is the art politic. Free, free, Palestine. You're the no politic guy. You live in Tel Aviv. Guy who likes turbotax. Aiden, I'm sorry. You are coming me about some gaming shit? You like TurboTax. It's hard to say.

Herbotex used it for years was a happy customer. Don't know what to say. You know who else are the happy customers? The people that get lobbied against because DirectFile disappeared. Kill yourself!

Nick Yingly was so pissed off he owed money to the government that after TurboTax told him he owed money he owed money, he went to H&R Block and said, can you prove that? And they said, yeah, you owe money. And he paid more. Is this real?

This is real. Can you prove that is funny? Yeah. He said, he said, he said, what is happening? What is happening? You went to the other company paid more money

to redo your taxes to make sure. sure the number was okay? At mogul moves, we call that beast mode. That's a second opinion. What's wrong with second? Sometimes you need a second opinion. It's like, no one's gonna audit, Nick Yeg. Like, no one's auditing Nick Yeg.

Look, he just, I don't think he wanted to stop an audit. I think he was hoping H&R Block would be like, yeah, we crunched the numbers and you get $500 now. Yeah, I think that's what he wanted to have happened. He wanted it to magically swing the other way. Yeah, I think he was like, oh yeah, they just forgot the tax 13. section a coin flip but he's only imagined the coin flip in his mind the first year in a young man's

life where they owe instead of get money back is a big year sometimes people never owe it's very scary it depends on the job you have and it depends on the job you have to not pay it you gotta just not pay you don't pay it if you guys are wondering you can just pay it on all tips yeah so he actually makes almost

no salary bro he comes and drop something up with your house and swings the iPad over and I'll like stay there for a bit and I'll be like what and I'll be like well he's finished a transaction on the iPad he's has a toast thing

that way sometimes I stuff a Hyundai can we have his paycheck under a beer pint on a wooden pizza table I think I think I know I think I know why you're unhappy What are you talking about? You're unhappy this week Oh you're taking it out on me

You're taking out on him And I think it's because What did I do? Because I showed down the Gucci store It's because the big man Shut down the Gucci so on you and you hated it. Big boy.

That would piss me off for a while. And your routine was taken, but, and it's like, and I get it because it's like, what doesn't he take? What doesn't he take from us? Little pup found out big dogs roam the earth. Now he was all mad about it. You know, Aiden, I was, you know, I was, uh, I was frustrated at you, but you really, you cracked it open and I'm glad you did.

I know. And it was so weird. No, I'm not actually mad with this, but like, so I get done doing the podcast of Valcurei, mascara everywhere, right? It was really, I had to, like, console her without touching her. Because you don't want to touch somebody that you made cry.

You don't want to touch her on the shoulder. You just, like, kind of want to get out. So I get out of there. She's crying. And it was crazy. And so, but then I'm like, okay, I have time. I'm going to go get a bagel. Go to the office, do this,

and then we do the podcast later. I go to the bagel place. I drive into the driveway. There's a guy who looks like Andy Sandberg. There's a bunch of shit going on there. And he's like, oh, hey, no parking. Sorry. I'm like, okay, I park somewhere else, walk across the street to the bagel place, walk in,

they're doing a shoot. I walk in, there's a lady there. She's like, hi. Like, are you guys like open? She says, no. Okay. I fucking leave. I go across the street, get a coffee at the other coffee shop.

I walk out. Dan Nigerian is across the street. He goes, hey! I'm like, what the fuck is going on? I walk back over there. Ludwig has. had the team of Mogul moves who nobody I saw was to make a shoot at the coffee shop at the bagel store he shut down you shut down your neighborhood coffee he shut it down like pop smoke and so I walk back in

now every it's all populated with faces I can recognize which is also weird and now I'm just hanging out waiting for Ludwig somehow at the fucking I have no idea how this was happening this bagel shop is miles away from the studio and then I'm sitting there and then And I'm like, all right, I guess I'll just hang out and see Ludwig. And then I see that ice was in my neighborhood at the grocery store I go to. And I'm like, I've got to go. This is real. I left to go try to film ice.

It's actually incredible. We actually managed to deduce almost all of it. This sounds like a dream. It sounds like when you have a weird dream. This all came right after I did the podcast with Valkyure. Right. Like this is all... Yeah, so I made Valcray cry on my words.

She was moved. And then love to shut down the bagel store. This all happened. And it was weird. This actually makes so much sense why you're at the coffee shop now. It's because you were at the studio with Valky. That was the missing piece.

Yingling told us that you went from the coffee shop to film ice. And we were like... And Aiden goes, before asking any questions about that, goes, why would he go all the way back home? Because I was like, this doesn't make me sense. Why would you go to that coffee? shop and then go back home. I had to... Did you get any good footage?

They weren't there, the fat fuckers. They bought all the ground beef and left or whatever. Yeah. They just ground beef? Probably, yeah. I went there and it was just cleaned out. They were probably eating it out of a dog bowl. They had Atchuk in one of those rotating like pig fires. This is the second time

we've done an Aterok over a spit. Really? Yeah. Yeah. Isn't that awesome? And there will be a third. Yeah. Well, there's enough of them. Yeah. So, yeah. They're just snarling, tearing a tree off apart. Was it legit that they were there and they just... Apparently they were. I just, I went there and I missed them.

We should start an initiative to set a bunch of like McCulley Culkin level like ice traps. So like Mark Rober. Like yeah. Mark Roberber glitter bomb. Glitter bomb. I mean... Minus the glitter.

Nick, there's a... No glitter. It's a risky endeavor. Well, how would they find out? How would they find out? How would they find out? It's us. They would open the glitter bomb and then kill a random person.

Like, it's not worth a risk. That is true. They would probably just kill the first person they saw. And then it would be on the glitter bomb person. I think what you got to do is instead of... Then we're in a Connery's Pants tweet. Minus Glitter bomb plus electrocution. You pull Connors Pants' Alt's Twitter account. I think it's called Not Connoree's Twitter.

No, it's called Sub to Connor, please. Sub to Connor, please. You're such a fake fucking demon, dude. Because I didn't know his at? Yeah, you're fake demon. I'm a fake demon. I'm a fake d'I'm a Gucci store. Genuinely, we put an electrified cheeseburger on. the ground and we so many ice agents. Yeah. Well, we're killed before them. And I think you're not

considering that. No, the cost of war. That's the cost of war. And you're not eating the electrified cheeseburger meant to oh my god's fucking that's fucking yummy. When your dog eats all the ant bait in your house? No! the mask isn't helping. Dude, this does look like you. This is so funny. Oh, my God.

He does. He doesn't have as soft of eyes as you have. No, he's hardened by racism. Dude, look at the skinny wrist. You aren't fooling anyone, he's got that, like, you know when you see like the fucked up

pictures of hairy guys wearing watches? He's got that wrist. Why is his wrist so hairy? Oh, my God. It's just a video of a guy wearing a mask who, just the eyes are showing kind of looks like me. and I think it's an ice agent undercover

getting barked at a strip mall. Yeah. At the Great Bear Center. And they're all gay on the low too. And they don't top ever. With the hair. Yep. Wow.

Think about it. Think about it a little bit. So I had a busy weekend. Yeah, you know to deal with that. You get around. You get around. Yeah, I get around. Connery's pants quickly becoming the leftist Joe Rogan.

Yeah, we can finally count on him to ratio JD Vans on Twitter. He did what Adam Friedman. You don't. He just tweeted. at JD Vance. It says like, kill yourself, sorry kidding, but kill yourself with a gun and realize maybe, I don't know, in a video game, but also eat cyanide, I guess. Yeah, he's, he's reaching his wits end, uh, which I think is, is reasonable. Um, anyway, that was my day, man. I, I basically

did the girl podcast and we fucking dished and it was really fun. I thought it was great. Just be a podcast. She didn't actually cry. It's a girl podcast. And, uh, then I somehow got fucked over by Ludwig without even ever seeing him that day. I think it's going to happen the rest of our lives even when we're way we no longer talk to Ludwig's been 20 years. It's going to be 30 years on the rally and you're going to be planning your funeral

and you're going to be like, yeah, so this is like the lots and you're going to find a lot where you want to be buried and then they're going to go, oh sorry, this whole section's taken. Oh my God, do we talked about the funeral? We talked about the funeral thing and I was like here's what nobody knows. He got that litmus of going to someone's funeral from me. Yeah. Because I made fun of them for not going to Dr. Battle's hypothetical funeral for years. Who was his first

viewer ever. And now, and I said, over the years he's changed his mind. I got closer to him. It takes me a little bit. Like, it takes a while. Dude, when you said that, people started going, he's like, what the fuck is he saying? What do you mean you won't go to his funeral? He's going to die. And then I was like, no, he's just, he's using my language. Yeah. And when the language leaves the bubble. That's when you have a problem. Oh my God. I am the architect

of your demise and I always will be. But also the architect of my uprising. You are much like you are much like Emperor Palpatine. Think so? Yes. And I'm Darth Vader. He did force lightning. He always drawn those two together. I mean, pull up Palpatine.

There's a resemblance. And guess who you are motherfucker? You're Padme. You are Padme. You're fucking Padman and you're going to die in jail. My God. It's twin. I wasn't ready for the second You weren't ready Your fucking birth canal I wasn't ready

I would be able to handle twins Twins I would get the twins You're bad man I beat you What He hit you I beat you

I beat you Oh he And you know what Wait Do you hit me You force choke I mean yeah Like we're really gonna mince

The words here I abuse you physically Until you died Also palpitine Took a turn He hit your ass too You would be C3PO

Okay sure He's got the best one-letter. He is very dignified. Or Gene from Bob's burgers. Why am I up? It's like a crossover episode. Yeah. Gene. This all track. All the Star Wars appearances.

This is all clean and it's all tracked. Actually, Zipper would be R2. Yeah. We can't understand what he's saying and he's like, but he has all the secrets. That was so amazing. That was insanely good. What the fuck was that about? You can do it the entire time? What was that so good? That was amazing.

It's been a few days on that one. Dude, I actually thought that was a I picked that up? What the fuck, dude? So, anyway. It's really good. I guess I'm just Ludwig. Do you ever think about George Lucas's hair? Maybe it's a bald guy thing.

I don't think about it. Yeah, he's a lot. Isn't it crazy? It is crazy. A little cartoonish. It kind of looks like Verso from Expedition 33. Yeah, he doesn't, there's not a single touch of recession. Oh my God, he's just fucking awesome.

I mean, isn't it crazy? It's a touch. Sure, it's like it mostly just gets whiter. I think I'm going to get there. It's unbelievable. That's it? dude voila I hope you don't why don't you kind of want one friend that goes

the distance yeah one of your boys to make it well maybe not as a bald right maybe you want to bring up if I die first which is you know likely I gotta donate my hair to one of you yeah don't even say if one of you is gonna get you it's not gonna be if it's probably it's a given it's gonna be gun related I won't need it I'm gonna be saving some sort of yeah you were gonna be

at the plan of fitness that day the one day he decides to work out ever 80 New Year's resolution. You know what? I'm actually gonna do it this time. And he goes to planet fitness. And let me shut down the Gucci store again. Yeah. And he goes to planet fitness because they don't have free weights. So he's like, it'll be easy. I'll just get on the machine. I don't need a spotter. I don't need anyone to see my, my tummy. Guys, I got my chain snatched. Again? Oh my god. They came and got it. Again. The fifth time. I said come and get it and they came and got it. Was it at the Arco? Yeah. Okay. Hey buddy. Can I can I tell you something? Well, I was hanging out at the Arcoa gang in them.

And they ran up on me. First off, I think maybe you should reconsider who your gang in them should be. And second off, I think you need to shop at gold. Again? GLD is the best place to buy men's jewelry because men don't wear enough of that nice shit on their neck.

It was really nice. I got over there the first time and I told them come get it. And then they did and they took it off my neck. And they called me a bitch. You can't keep telling them to come get it and then be mad when they take it. You know, you could just say, yeah, I got that shit and then go about your day.

But you're basically saying come and get it. And then when they do, this is the result of it. But it was real gold. Well, yeah, GLD oversells real gold. Every stone's meticulously handset. Everyone knows that. But what they don't guarantee is that it won't get snash if you say come and get it. Yeah.

And it doesn't matter what you're wearing. Chains, pendants, rings, earrings. They will come and get it if you just tell them to do that. Why does your face look like that? It's, you could also try out maybe a new thing this time. You bought a couple chains, so maybe like a pendant or a rain, an earring. Well, here's a good news. I think if you keep goading people into taking it, you should get something cheaper.

Can I say something? Every piece comes to the lifetime warranty. Even if I got snatched? I don't think. We don't know if it covers that. No, I think. I should check it leads in time. Check it.

You check it. I think it's more like if it were to, well, part of something. Look, for a limited time only new customers are getting an insane deal, which isn't you because you're not new, because you're not new, because you're You messed up again. Yeah. But use Code Yard to get 50% off

at GLD.com. It's 50% off. What you guys can do is you can find Nick at any Pete's coffee in America and snatch his chain because he's going to buy a new one at GLD.com with code yard.

And that's on foe in them. Buy it. Buy some greg. Don't tell people... That's on gang. Stop. Stop saying that. You are from Orange County.

It's crazy. You can't... You can't... That's... That's... Let's get back to the episode You wouldn't give it to me? My hair?

I mean, I feel like I'm the most deserving. Am I not? It'd be funny if like the butler, whoever is the guy to say, and this is who this will goes to, like, past you to hand it to Ludwig, who still had his hair. Yeah. Give this to Slime. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, give this to Ludwig.

Lovig gave it to a chatter. I love a Knives-out-esque mystery of who gets your hair. I couldn't give it to Lovic because it ended up on the floor of his house and in Coutts would eat it and just die. And Swift would think it's another... Why are you not in your head, buddy? Swift would think it's a fourth animal. Why are you not in your head at that?

Because you would be in a Barbados mansion or some shit off of ancient, like, off of like future crypto. And you would go to the funeral thing. And you would go to his funeral. And then yeah, you would just drop it on the floor. Show up late to my funeral. He'd go, but he'd be the last one to show up.

First off, it shouldn't start until I'm there. Oh. Oh. Sorry, guys. Hey, can you start over from the top? Second off. Hey, two are ones, everyone? If we want to talk about people who leave gifts,

on the floor? What I do? Oh, thank God. I didn't think I really was like what I do on. Yeah, it is me. Look in the corner. Yeah, bro, you gave me so many towels I can't fit them in my car. I've had to take them in in like trips. I have an SUV.

Well, I do, no, no, I drive the other one now. Oh. New bitch. I have a new bitch. He's got a new bitch. And so, yeah, I couldn't literally fit them all. And so I do it in trips. Yeah, we'll see if that's still there in six months. Dude, I've been using the towels. It's crazy.

Well, he's gonna take them home as he needs them, oh, you're wearing the gift. I like my gift. That's really good. And it's so cool that we're going to spend another chubby cattle Monday together. Chubby Cattle Monday.

Have you heard about this? That we're spending Chubby Cattle Monday together. It's actually, let me paint the scene, Aden. So last week, Aiden has this thing now. He's trying to do Chubby Cattle Monday, which means going to, I think it's a restaurant, Chubby Cattle Monday.

Certainly we talked about this. It's a restaurant. And he wants to go. And last time, we ended up going to a completely different restaurant. And Adam was like, that's chubby Cattle Monday. It's the spirit. The spirit is that we go. Let's just rewind.

He's never succeeded. Like, that's what I was arguing. In the true. Thank you. That's not true. No, no, no. No, let me. Why do you have to take this away from us?

Let me set it up. Let me set it up. We have a special thing together that we all do. He isn't succeeding because we aren't ending up at chubby cattle. And he was trying to say, anything we do is chubby cattle. Okay. Whatever, whatever. It's about.

Fast forward to today. David has been saying chubby cattle Monday. It's chubby cattle Monday again, guys. We're going to go by chubby cattle. And then Ludwig, boom, boom. What if we go to a basketball game? And Aidan goes,

ah, he's changing it. I'm like, I didn't say it with that tone. I thought it was all chubby cattle. I didn't say with that tone. What does it matter? I thought it was all shubby cattle.

He's like, well, and all of a sudden it happened to him. Oh, it's different now. I'm the most of the most of the basketball. impartial one here, so I'll be... It's damning, I'll say it. I'll be over, I'll be presiding over this case. Hello, everyone. Bayliff.

The prosecution, the defense, and also the defense. Hey, oh my God. I'm the bailiff. I thought he was the defense. Dude, I'm going to take care of anyone. I thought you were the defense. This was from inside my belly button. He's also the bailiff.

We're budget cruts. We cannot have another bailiff. It's a tough corner. Do you want to see what's in my belly button, Judge? I'm the prosecutious. of crud in there. Oh my god. Well, you're the defense. He's the prosecution.

He's also the defense. Okay. And, okay, so what do we think, I know what you're going to say, I know what you're going to say. I'm going to say, I want to see you without that.

The judge sustained. You may later. I want to see the judge's fudge. Will you take your fudge out? The judge will not be showing the defense as fudge. Don't need prosecution.

Don't hit with a hammer. I won't hit you with the hammer sweetheart. Unless. You think that he's being unreasonable. No, I think that my complaint when I was like, it's not chubby cattle Monday if we don't go chubby cattle, and he was like, yes, it is. And then all of a sudden he gets his plan changed

and it's no longer chubby cattle Monday. I was like, well, how come when it happened to you, it's not chubby cattle Monday? But when it happened to me, it is chubby cattle Monday. Why is basketball not chubby cattle Monday? No, no, no, no. See, that's the thing. It is, it could spiritually be chubby cattle Monday.

I thought it was called Marketing Monday. Dude, yeah Yes What the fuck are we doing? Let's go This is where we're at I thought that's where we're at I thought that's

Marketing Monday Coffee cow It's beautiful I didn't realize you changed your name I've just spent half the week With that thunker I've just spent half the week With that thunker

Every week You're gonna go hungry And then all we do is talk about It's not all we do is talk about it Huh? All right. Why isn't basketball chubby Cattle Monday? Basketball can be Chubby Cattle Monday.

It's just we haven't had, it's like, we haven't had a chubby Cattle Monday together. Ever. At Chubby Cattle. Ever. Ever. Ever. Ever.

You can say ever. It's been a while. It's never happened. I guess a while is also ever. The first week I suggested it, I went there by myself and I imagined you were there. We're all force ghosts. To be fair, I did show up. So I feel like...

It'd be like if I was like, hey, tweeners tonight, and we watch Friends. It's not Twainers, man. But tweeners night could be you watch Friends sometimes. I went to the first one.

The one where you're on Windows smashed up? The first show me, yeah, I smashed the window and left. It was an awesome night. Dude, and you took my Lucas? Yes, dude. Dude, they did... My Lucas. I'm just so pissed off if I smashed a car

and it was fucking Aiden's. Yeah. Oh, my. What are you mean? Why would you piss? I'd be pumped. No, I'd be getting like smelly basketball shorts. Yeah. A smelly basketball shoes.

An old pair of Astros headset. What else do you have in a Macbook with no porn on it? You actually clocked out. And a Chinese version of a MacBook. Dude, those are expensive. That's military locked and VPN. With no porn on it. With no porn on it.

What are we doing? Got no porn. I just think that. So you're mad about this basketball game? No, no, no, no. I'm not mad. I said you de-ray. I said to Nick.

I said Ludwig his de-Rae. derailed chubby cattle Monday. That's what he said. That was the exact words. He derailed it. And I said, I said off the rail. I thought you could have a nice time.

I thought this is an all rails leave to fucking chubby cattle. We can leave chubby cattle in the dirt as long as we spend chubby cattle Monday together. That's what I care about the most. Do you know what happened? That's what I care about the most. The only reason,

I'm not like pumped about, I wasn't like, dude, I want to go to a basketball game Monday. I would love to go to a basketball game with you guys. What happened is, is like eight months ago I was streaming with Leslie Ray and Squeaks

and we started get Ray first but we started getting like a hundred gifted subs, 200 gifted subs all from one person named Grant and Grant was just gifting crazy subs. Disgusting whale And that's what I was like You'd go separately on all your accounts

He started with Ray but we were streaming together and so I was like I was like Where we at Grant? Yeah, I haven't seen a lot of gifted in my chat Natural joke Natural joke. And then he does it. And I'm like, oh, now I feel a bit weird.

And I'm like, oh, now I feel a bit weird, Grant. Like, make sure you have money like that. And, you know, Grant said some of the effective. Like, I'm good. Yeah. And then Chad was like, chat, Chad started to pick something up. They're like, oh, he's good.

Yeah. Why is he good? And it turns out that this is Grant Williams, the basketball player who used to play on the Celtics and out plays on the Charlotte Hornets. So he's probably good. This is an active basketball player? This is an active basketball player.

Yes. He currently plays. plays for the Charlotte Hornets. Oh, when you donate to Valcary and your wife walks in, oh, I was actually doing all of them. Yeah, no, no, I'm about to do the gay guy too. Yeah, no, I was doing the gay one and all of them are getting money. It's a charity, actually.

This is their last stream. And so, yeah, so he was in the chat. Okay. And I was like, I was like, bro, fuck gifted subs. Like, damn, they fried the jazz. Let me go to a basketball game. Is this real, is this the real guy?

This is the real guy, yeah. So I then followed him on Instagram. He followed me, we DMed. He was like, I'll get you tickets to a Lakers game next year. This is like, again, this is off-season. It's like six months ago or some shit. And here you are saying how much you don't want to go with your basketball player. Let me finish.

So last week, last week, we're talking about this again because we were playing. He has not messaged me in six months. Last week, me, Leslie Ray squeaks talking about this. Like, remember that one time, you know, next day, I don't know if he saw the street. Maybe you watched it. Next day he messaged with me. He's like, yo, we're in town next week. Connie, think about this.

He plays in Charlotte. So he's waiting for an L.A. game. They're doing two L.A. games against the clippers and the Lakers. And this is the exact week that they're playing. So it's Hornets first clippers. It's Hornets Clippers at the Intuit Dome. And he comps tickets and then post-game passes. Intuit's the company that owns TurboTex.

They know that. And we're going to bring. And we're bringing two things to the dome, Steve Vollmer, Yingo and a child. And I'll warn you about Yingo. He likes to let it sing. He likes to let it sing. So anyway, that's why we're going. That's why we're going is to watch the Clippers Hornets, which is a weird game to go to.

This doesn't change the... Is it a box? No, it's just like five seats that were comps in... It's like pretty nice seats like Mits. So Chubby Cattle Monday is in a box? Is it courtside? No box. Not courtside. 12 rose up. This is great.

Because it's fulfilling. Like, like 95% of what I want out of chubby cattle, day is getting fulfilled, you know, like 95. What's the five? I think it's just like maybe we could have, maybe we'll have one soon at the actual restaurant where I don't just imagine my friends are there with me. Maybe once soon.

And it could be next week. I don't understand your logic here. How is it not a chubby cattle? How is it not a chubby cattle gathering? I figured it out. Aidan's a simple guy. Simple Jack. He owns a piece of chubby cattle.

Bucking knew it. He's getting a little off the back end. You're skimming some off the top? He's skimming some off the top, bro. The Vig? He does the same thing with merch, bro. He keeps saying, we have to make merch more expensive. We're losing money on the merch.

I need to make money on the merch because I'm getting a little piece off the top. Disgusting. This is all for the Vig. By the way, if you price your license to birch appropriately, I will give up my cut at the company. I'll shake your hand on that right now. If you meet with me once a week on merch

and price it correctly, I will give up any financial involvement in the merchant company that. Wormen Jitong Yu Jiang. You can't, dude, you mocked you again. You have to study up because he can't, you read a contract and you didn't, and you signed it?

I don't know what that means. Crazy man. Dude, this is what happens. I come in the group chat. I come in the group, I come in the group, this is two different, two different times I message. This is before the basketball is on the table.

I say in the chat. I say in the chat yesterday, 8.30 in the morning, I wake up thinking about this. I say, who will chubby cattle Monday tomorrow? Who will come eat some meat? Slime just replies with a picture of low-tier god. You know the one. Ludwig says mead, and Nick says nothing. Yeah.

I forgot that typed meed. You just typed me. That would indeed. This is me reaching out to my friends. And then this is later. This is later. We're scheduling in the chat. And then Ludwig is saying, can we run it the main episode just later?

Not sure how long it will be for my shoot. But we can do it after that, 5 p.m. And I say, works for me. And then maybe we chub it up. And then nobody replies for the entire evening again. And Slime says, the next day, technically, says, nobody wants to chub it up. Stop asking. And then Nick comes in, finally, it says, I'll chub it up with you.

You're a pussy, bro. Fake demon. I'm pulling Pete. Yeah, why were you a fake demon pussy? I keep getting, I keep getting baited by the same hot goddess. And he keeps telling him, we're going to go to Chubby Cattle. And then Chubby Cattle money comes around. I'm excited to try this fucking restaurant with you.

And then it's Clipper Game. We could go to Chubby Cattle. It just had to be at like 9 p.m. It's because being together is more important than being at the right restaurant. Oh, that's why it was derailed. That's why we derailed everything then. Deerreel. Deerailing doesn't imply that I'm not going to enjoy it.

Ask Grant if he can come to chubby cattle? Grant? Grant Williams to chubby cattle? Yeah, well, dude, he's going to smell. Did he have enough money to a... Huh, they have a shower. He's going to smell crazy. It's actually the game, right? Yeah, they're like, dude, nice to meet you.

You smell crazy. They wash each other after the shower. It's a big thing. Yeah, everyone, it's in a circle, so no one's left out. He wouldn't do that. After a game? Oh, yeah, you get in the shower. I would say, I would say, Grant, want to chub it up?

Hey, we're getting chub later. You want to go? Grant, all you got to do is drive 40 minutes one way and then 40 minutes the other way and we can eat at a restaurant called chubby cattle. Dude, book nobu for him. It's chubby cattle or Grant, bye-bye. Sorry, we have a steak in this place.

I just feel like I reach out to you guys. I will chub with you. It won't be next week or the week after or the week after that. Dude, he's going to play crazy. He's going to dunk like Duelipas in the crowd with you there. He's a fan. I don't think with me either. I think he's a bigger.

If we bring Ray? Yeah, Ray's going. Ray's going. Oh, yeah. Okay. Ray and Leslie are going. I'm going to make her cry for the second time today. Yeah, yeah.

It's easy. It is. Right? I'm like, damn. Thank you. I barely even. Thank you. Yeah.

Season four of suits. What a hell? What the heck? Someone, so Ludwig has like a company email. We'll just get random. inquiries too, right? And Kelby checks it the most often. And he posted this in Slack like a couple days ago and it was just titled MCSR. Dear Ludwig, on everything I love, I can't stand another MCSR rank stream. The lack of knowledge and absolute dog shit that I see is actually going to make me

have a heart attack. I'm begging you. Let anyone teach you speed running from me and all of my other chatters mental health. This is like the, coast. This is the same like email. that Nabisco uses? Yes. Sign, dream was taken. It's Nabisco and like re-re-forward

shipping error. Like the same dumpster fire. Are they right? Are you speaking ass out your butt? I mean, like, are they right? Like, no, there's never an appropriate email to send. No, but are they right in the email despite the tone that they shouldn't include?

Like, does your butt talk? Is your butt talking? No. I think I do many things well, and I do a couple things. A couple things. Couple things bad. Couple things bad.

It's like, you know, when you're first playing piano, I'm great at the right hand. Okay. Harder when you get the left hand. It's like they're doing the same thing. How do I'm going to do different things? And what's up with the black keys? Yeah.

Those are hard to reach. They sound if you only play the black keys, it sounds Chinese. And why they're foot pedals. It does. It really does. Isn't that funny? Yeah.

How it does that? It is interesting. It is interesting. We never talk about it. Do you know Bach never play the piano? Who's who? Bach, Johann Sebastian Bach. What do you play?

Saxophone. He played the saxophone. No, he played the harpsichord. The piano wasn't invented. The fuck is a harpsichord. What? It's instead of a, you know, a hammer striking a string, it's just a pluck. And it's essentially a piano.

Yeah, being like, no, I don't play the piano and roll up and you got one of these. All right. What are we doing? It's so different. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, no, I don't drink Sprite. I only drink seven up. Oh, my God. It's not so similar.

There's two. How do you play Chinese music? That's the thing. I wouldn't know where to put my hand. You start playing it really... That's why the Chinese events of the piano so they could start playing Chinese music. You want to know a dark soul's fact? Yeah, I would love to.

You know, Gwyn's... Let's go. You'll like it. Yeah, oh, whoa, sorry. Gwyn's theme in the first game when you fight Gwynn, it's only played using the white keys of the... piano because he's afraid of the dark. Isn't that kind of cute?

That is cute. No. I like that. No. Why is that not cute? I'm secure to the dark. You don't play the black keys. It's crazy. That's how much he hates the dark. That's Quinn. That's why he does long at the age of fire. Bois Boy wants it in C major. I'm not saying Gwyn is awesome. I'm just saying C major scale for me. I don't know why he's doing it. I do it in missionary because I don't like seeing the hole from the back. Like what are we talking about?

All like when Tarantino's movies are played with the white cues only as well. Very different reason. Dude, the butthole looks crazy if you think about it. Yeah, I've never seen mine. What? What? I've never looked at my butthole.

I've never have either. I'm afraid of it. What if we all? Oh my God. Patreon idea. Okay. I'm all ears at the least. We all take-

We do advice shows every Thursday. Let's go. We could. We could. If Aiden didn't forget for eight weeks in a row, as he said. I can't believe. I won't take this. But I do think we should take a picture of our buttholes. Okay. And then we listen to Wormen Buyang, which I put you on to, and you never responded.

And we play Women Buyong. And then we looked at them with each other. And we try to guess who's who. We should try to see. We wouldn't know. We should try to see with video if they change while we listen to the song. Like they quipper? Do they go, do they gape, any sort of verb? Like a head crab and half-life? Like a head crab in Half-Life, which I haven't played yet. Kind of twitching. No, but this is a good idea. We all get pictures of our own buttholes, and we try to guess

who's as who, and only, like, zipper knows. Yeah, zipper? Wouldn't that be fun? Is this not a good idea? Guess the hole. We don't show them. I'm kind of afraid mine looks like Riley Reeds. What? What?

What are you teased? Because of my big dumps. Oh, yeah. Yeah. We do. We do. yard member or porn star and it's just holes and

it's just actually a hundred shots of Nick's butt hole and we say porn star a hundred times. Oh man. Dude there was a tweet that was like talking about some sports team like this team getting they butt spit in and some guy was like whatever happened to just say and they're getting destroyed. Yuck.

Yeah we have we I was saying this earlier to Miles because what did Miles say earlier he was like oh this is like chud bait. Yeah. like, I think we're out of terms. I think we've hit the upper limit. Chudslop. We need to go back to the start. That's what immediately followed.

We need to go back to Charlotteslop right after. Yulig said Chudslop. I was a Chud Blas. What are we? That's actually Nick Fuentes. He's Chudslop. It all fits. Language works.

I'm low cow bait. Yeah. And you're in Chud Slop. Oh, man. That's so good. Dude, yeah, also I message you because you, you ran into SK, the wild Pokemon SK. She does not

fuck around. For some reason I thought you meant SD kit. I thought you meant SK the Fox player. Frikeh. Yeah,

Khenji. Classic mix up. S.K. Is a demon, bro. Yeah. But it's like, you're saying you found out,

like, I'm not, but who's SKK? Who are you talking about? She's, she's a game. She plays a lot of Overwatch, but she's been

a lot of Sajams and she gets really good at games really fast. She's a V-Tuber. Oh, likely holus. Yeah. Who will start? Lachly holus.

Likely holus. Who will start a game and then quickly climb the rank Like void-esque levels of Like ability to snap onto a game So you know she started playing street fighter And hit like master rank within like a couple months And then recently started MCSR

Right now is gold two started four days ago Dude isn't that crazy What it? Buddy How is that? What do we got? Is there like fiber coaching? Like what can we do for you?

She's a V-tuber. It could be a hundred people or 100 mice in one person. I've met her in real life. I've seen her play games. It could be 100, it could be 100 mice in one person's body. It's just a real human being.

30 remis. It could be a lot of mice. No mice, no remis. Did you look under her hat? No, I did. She wasn't, no, I didn't look under her hat. But I will say this. I have information for you.

If you're ever up against SK, she chokes when she tries to go for the most hard shit in the game. And this is actually how I beat. I ran into her on Street Fighter ranked. I was streaming. She dropped her combo because she tried to do something really difficult, and I beat her. And she wanted to blow her head off.

I think it was really funny. You're just bringing this all up. I'm telling you. So you can bring up the one time you beat us. I'm telling you that I am a worse gamer than her, but I beat her. Dude, this is like David going, yeah, you pick up rocks and throw him in the slingshot. And sometimes Glyas get cocky. He gets cocky.

Cool. He falls down. He's gigantic. I picked up the fucking rock, and then he went, boom, boom, boom. I'm saying. She will make a mistake trying to swag. I'm not going up against her. I'm cold too.

She's gold to. Like, what are we talking about here? One day you will, and I want you to remember my words. Mark it down. That's all. In the moment, you're going to slow-mo in the moment. You're going to hear Slime's voice. I'm going to say, Tim, can we carburban-b-b-b-as-K?

He takes care of that. Tim does not have access to B-52. Tim can do, I believe Tim can do a lot of shit. That's dangerous. Oh, he can send you a Python script that breaks your computer. That's half the job. He can set a Python. Just straight up.

Like in Kill Bill 2? Yeah, very quickly. I saw Anaconda in theaters. Speaking of pythons and scripts. Is that like a new movie? Yeah, it's the Jack Black. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That made $100 million I heard.

It wasn't bad? Pretty bad. Yeah, you were making it sound bad just by the way you talk about it. It's awesome. They made it. It's just bullshit and ice cubes in it. Ice cubes in it?

Yeah. Jesus. It's cool. I wasn't going to say it. It's a movie about there's an original. Anaconda, like a movie that came out, I think in the 80s or something. Did they play the song?

What? My Anaconda? Yes. That's like the song of the movie. That makes sense. And the movie is about Jack Black and Paul Rudd. It's a movie about them wanting to remake that movie. And like them try.

It's a meta. Okay. It's like Be Kind Rewind. Is it? Yeah. I chose this over Marty Supreme. It was good. Oh.

You like Bekind Rewind? You seen that? That was a good movie. One of the 10 movies he's seen. Dude, you, this guy, Seltie. Melo, that's his real name, I think. Yeah. You will love this guy in this movie.

Yeah? He is like, he is, he is like the, the, the mixture of people from all over the world, slime voice. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's the guy who, like, owns the Anaconda. Yeah, what an, this guy blew me away. Well, okay, what would you rate it?

I'm a movie buff right now, by the way. What did you rate it? What I rate it? Like, like a letterbox score? Like a five? Sure. We're gonna go two and a half there, slime. Straight down the middle, he said.

It's got to be a three or above to be recommended. That's the very least. I don't think I'd recommend it. I'm a movie buff and I want you to respect me. What's the last movie you watched? The Talented Mr. Ripley. Actually, the Bob's Berger movie. Bob Berger.

I don't know. Bob's Berger's reference. What does that come from? You asked me the last movie is technically the Bob's Burger movie and then before that the Taltered Mr. Ripley. Okay. Which one head to head? Gun to its head.

Which one do you shoot? Which one do you keep? Which one of the thing's higher on letter on IMDB? Talented Mr. Ripley. You think so? Yeah, easily. I think Bob's Burger would be sitting at like a 7-1. And I think talented Mr. Ripley is like a 7-4.

What are good guesses. I put Bob's Burger at 7-3 though. Look at that, bro. Wait, click in. Oh, my call. Wow. Yeah. Flat 7 for Bob's burger is 7-4 with talented Mr. Ripley.

And it's just Bing City and you're still sitting here. You're still sitting here not fucking acknowledging that I'm a movie buff. I give that to you, man. Dude, Matt Damon has Nick Engling's haircut in that bottom right. Yeah, he's super creepy and gay in this movie. Are they independent things?

What if we said that about you? You wouldn't like that. You wouldn't like that. Hey, guys, I wanted to bring this to you. There's someone in our life who has ballooned to an unbelievable size. I don't even finish your sentence. I know who we're talking about.

I don't even think we should mention them. We don't need to say their name. But he is everywhere. And that person, I feel like we need to take action. So I've signed him up for hungry root. That's a good idea because he only eats Arbys. But he's not buying the Arby's himself. He's fishing Arbyes out of the Arby's dumpster and eating in.

The old Arbyes. He's not doing that. He just, he goes to the gas station by sour patch watermelons. That's the real. And eats them all day. And he don't know. We can personalize the recommendations we give to him. There's over 15,000 meal options.

The only reason he doesn't cook is he thinks that everything is Arby's. So he's like, why make it? I could go to the Arby's and get it. But now we can make it in 15 minutes or less with, you know, ingredients that are made to high standards. It's also the time we're going to save him. He doesn't have to walk to the gas station. He doesn't have to fish behind the dumpster.

Like he's not a man with plenty of free time. I don't want to pretend like that's not the case. We're going to have to card a little bit. Like you listener who budgets your time and has like a really tough job. This would be beneficial to you. Right. But for him, I don't want him to get. get away with that excuse.

And it's not just Arby's. There's all sorts of options. There's a short rib friendship sandwich, for example, or the pesto cheese ravioli with pshetta. There's got to be something he's willing to eat that doesn't just rampage sodium through his body. I think Italian beef ravioli marinera could be a good Arby's filler. You can convince him that comes from Arby's, I think,

and it would be healthier, easy to make. So if you want to take advantage of this exclusive offer, for a limited time, get 40% off your first box, Plus get a free item in every box for life. Take advantage of me. Go to hunger root.com slash the yard and use code the yard. That's hunger root.com slash the yard. Code the yard and get 40% off your first box and a free item of your choice for life.

I'm ready to be taken advantage of. And they want us to say it again. Hungry root.com slash the yard code the yard. And we're looking at you, God who you know we're talking to. You got to stop being a raccoon behind the dumpster. It's insane. Back to the episode now. I think C-Dog got hacked.

What do you mean? Connor's been sending me like an obscene amount of reels, like 30 reels in a day. Oh my God, he's locked in. And like he's never done this. Like I've known, I've been friends with him for years, he'd never done this.

Yeah. He sent me 30 reels in all the reels. Every single one is like that format where it's like, send this to, and it's like insert a thing. Yeah. But he's sending me like a whole spectrum. Like I'm getting,

send this to a big black, beautiful queen who needs to see this tonight. That's good. And then it's like, And it's like, oh, I want to be stuffed full of this. And it's like pictures of like mac and cheese, maccheeze, maccheeze, and then it's like you in black text. And then it's like, and then it's like a guy

rolling backwards on a skateboard eating a cassidia. And he's like, you got sent this because you're gay. Yeah. And I've seen this format. Yeah, and I've watched, I watch everyone because they got sent to me. It's funny because he would never do that with us. Camer or Connor?

Ludwig would never watch if we sent him 30 reels. I would watch. No. But I watch them all and now my 4U Pitch is destroyed. Yeah, of course, yeah. I click it and it's like, there's hope, though. If your name starts the letter B, congrats. You like penis.

Yeah. That's it. That's it. What a free format to get big on reels because people just send it to be. Yeah, it is Churdley's bread and butter. Dude, there's a, Sanche. He used to pull up these reels of this guy. It's like this British guy just screaming in his car, but he's screaming like,

generic like relationship advice it would be impossible to find him based on the subscription but it's like he basically be like you're just gonna leave him he doesn't care about you and people who don't care about you shouldn't be in your life and it's just like so corny and it's for like people to send to each other to like listen to this guy yeah listen to him tell you what you need to hear bitch like a hallmark it's so insane

yeah I finally stopped getting the um the from India where it's like two Indian guys like your friend poses that you and your friend can do and it's like five different poses and they do them fast I finally stopped getting them but that means you were watching them I was sending them so many people I was like bro me and you here's a issue but we never did them no we didn't we should do one single one maybe tonight Lakers game or clippers game is come on it doesn't matter if it's the Lakers of the clippers of the clipper do what's all I'll find or I probably have some of my DMs with you we'll find one we'll do some poses let me show you a whole in your big chubby cattle diaper is that I never go, bro. I don't do... When's the last time the four of us hung out outside of this show and this office?

The thing is, I have a feeling that if... The answer to that could be really recent if you showed up. Yeah, but I don't. So chubby cattle Monday, you keep saying, The four of us, bro. Here's what we do. I'm the stone wall here.

No, you don't have to be the stonewall because next, you know, next Monday, we'll all go to a restaurant. Can I see a question? Please. Can I see a question? What is more of a chubby cattle Monday? And you have to pick one.

Okay? We're at chubby cattle. Me, you Ludwig, no slime. Or we're at a Clippers game and slime is there. And it's the four of us. This is a crucial question. Which is more of a chubby cattle Monday? Taste the cattle.

You get you a dick sucked at the clippers game. And you get your dick sucked. And you got a hot dog and cotton candy. A Kimbo. Oh, Steve Palmer. It's New State. Don't worry. Your penis is covered.

Thanks for the tickets, Grant. 12th row, don't. Yeah. Jack Nicholson's looking back, being like, damn, that guy's getting a dick suck. And you're sitting next to a kid. It's like a shirt and he's like, and he's like,

they're getting your dick suck at the clippers game. They got like the walls up. Yeah, they got walls up. Yeah, yeah. And now I get up and I go, so which one is it? Right. Which one's better?

Yeah. Sorry, by love your dick sucked. The one of the best one. game. The one of the best while day. What part of it? What makes it chubby

cattle? What makes it what you like the better? I think it's I think we sillyed the whole comparison with the blowjob. I think we got him all riled up. What?

That was awesome. Maybe you suck for a dig at chubby kettle too. All right, here's what we do. Okay, random one day. We get catering for chubby cattle and we show up to Slime's house.

I would not let you in. What do you mean? I would stand my ground. You would let it you would let's say what it. Your shit's always unlocked. Yeah, but then I would make you leave. You would not make us leave. I have a reciprocating saw on my counter. I would not use it and make us leave. I would promise you. I would grab it. Pull the trigger and go home. I have I have the reciprocating saw antidote. It beats it. This is my dark secret. You lose. My dark. When I came up with chubby cattle Mondays

I'm fucking Steve Johnson It's a talking head So when I came up with chubby kettle Monday This is actually John Ivy's apple There's like a sea standing on a ladder in the background Me and Steve were in a garage In my sick little mind when I came up to it My main reason for wanting to do it was not chubby cattle

I left that quickly It was I wanted to go get dinner on Monday nights with you guys and or some of our other close friends because I think it would be good to have something like that every week. He was just thinking, what if we had a slop night? What if I could hear that? He made it slop. He snuck slop in. It was just us for. Hold on, to be clear, slime says it's friend slop, even when it's us for.

Yeah. That's true. I bang the gavel. It is still slop. I think, carry on. Can I tell you what? It's going through Aiden's head. What's that? It's 700 days of slop. Because he's leaving. Oh my God. He's trying to slop max. He has an internal clock. I'm trying to... Oh my God. He has a limited number of days.

700 is about the number of days he has left. And then he has to name is... And then he has to name is child Torbjorn. Yes. And then Tobiorn is going to live in Iceland for a semester. Oh, he's got to leave him out in the snow until he freezes.

And so... Papa, I can't feel my fingers. I think I need to bike them off. It's okay, son. And he's like, oh, you raise you this way in this great country for you to not to be colder. When you raise you this way, you're going to have a little nub.

Disgusting. Why, okay, why do you want us to get dinner together? This is dinner for the soul. We get to be funny together. You actually have an illness in cotton worse. It's fucking gay and dumb to want to get dinner with my friends. I would rather do this podcast and never get dinner with you again because this matters more. It's an illness, then you need to...

Why not to both? You need to move on from your illness. If I moved on from my illness, I would quit. I'm saying your illness is that you refuse to hang out with a three. of us outside of work. You are work obsessed. It's gross. But the work is so much more fun than hanging out.

Have a conversation not reported. This is hanging out plus plus. Do something that's not content for once in your life. This is hanging out plus plus. It's content. We can't run this back. I'm not letting him run it back. Do something in your life that's not a content related idea. How is dinner better than this? Because it's offline. It's real, bro. Are we in the world where Aiden's getting head or not? I like it. I like this.

game. I like going to Clippers games and getting head. I like with my fucking friends. And I want to do both. Can I come clean, man? Because I've been in your shoes. I don't know. This might be a surprise. I've been in your shoes, bro. Really? Yeah, I've been like, I was in that fucking grind-set mindset, bro.

And I was fucking slopping out content left and right. Yeah. Right. Okay. Like content's just fucking covering me head to tell. Content was covering me. And then I started to hang out my friends and sucking them off at Clippers games. Yeah. And I started doing that more. Broad Day.

Rod day. Never read a Lakers game. And into it dome there's a curtain. So it's fine. It comes down from the rafters.

They got everything in that stage. Since he made that change, what was your favorite hangout with me in that time? My favorite hangout with you is when we took our one-on-one trip to go to New York. I guess it does count,

huh? That does count. He banked that for you to do. He waited for a time. He waited for this month. God damn it. Yeah. He did.

Yeah. My first experience at a land cafe. Oh, right. Yeah. And so that would be mine Fuck And anyway I think yeah

The four of us should hang out Offline And that's all I want And that's all I wanted From Tobi Cattle Monday And the only reason I said derailed This morning was because I know that Nick

Doesn't like basketball that month So I figured You're gonna love the head But I did forget that the Intuit dome The Intuit TurboTax Dome As you just get ahead In the scene Does it hurt anyone else

Mine hurts Why does mine hurt? Is your guys hurting? It hurts sometimes. It's kind of intermittent. It's like a massage chair at the mall. It feels better if you did your tax returns. Hello?

You stop? I thought if it was basketball and not dinner, then maybe Nick wouldn't be as excited to go. I like going to basketball games. Aiden, listen, you're, I think you're missing the point of all this. I'm missing the point. RGQ the music. The guy.

The guy who is desperately trying to spend time with his friends is missing the pole. Did she cue the zombies music? No, no, no, cue. Okay, let that play a little bit. Black Ops won zombies. So stop queuing that and now cue the South Park. Black Ops two zombies. I learned a lesson music.

And it's a soft piano. What you don't understand, Amen, is that when I come in a harpsichord. When I come into Harpsichrist. Blow zooms on our faces. When I come into the office and you are sitting at your computer molding at something and I see you and I pat you on the shoulder or your chest and I go, all right, man. That's beautiful to me.

That's my chubby cattle. And I don't, we don't need to do more because we have paradise right here, man. It's right here in front of us. I love it here. I love it here. But sometimes we need to go eat too. We can eat and do both. So slime, show ends tomorrow.

Explodes, nuclear. It goes everywhere. Patreon probably all goes to. me. Aiden and you and me and Ludwig, are you getting dinner with us every Monday? Every Monday? See, this is what I'm talking about. It's very quickly. It's not about the fact that we have the podcast. I don't think you want to spend every Monday with us. If it's not for content. Every Monday getting my ass to, where is it downtown or some shit?

You get your ass here every Monday. It could be anywhere. It doesn't have to be downtown. It could be a restaurant. And we'll just call it. What if we get with somebody like, TGI Fridays. What if we went to your house every Monday with catering? Last time you said you were gonna I know that's too much stress all those spoken people in my house. You're you misunderstand everything but if it's a TGI Fridays you you you're you're you're you're I do this I do this fucking and I'll say this. I'm sorry. Chili's okay. He's fine yeah what if I'm sort of a Americana ironic what if I'm funny what if I buy the house next to your house and that house is used purely as a hangout spot and we we turn into a boiling crab the house next to my house and I turn

into a boiling craft. It's a boiling craft. One rule. No bibs. No bibs. The house next to my house is a Montessori school. I'm getting rid of them. You mean it? Because fuck those kids are

annoying. What? Yeah. Why? They're always, why do they scream? Well, they don't have any... They don't have punishment at their school. Their children. They probably are saying the same thing about you. Why is that man in that house screaming? All right, man. No, time to take your shit

Time to boom Dude, my My girlfriend yesterday was like This is time to go Really? Yeah And I'm like You have been poisoned

You know how fuck you guys are That I'm the cultural beating heart Of all your lives You understand how insane that is How bad that is for you Of course I do Why is that bad for us? Of course I do

You know what's even more insane That I want to spend more fucking time with you Did you think about that? Yeah. I think it's all insane. When I was... When I was 15, I was in a pizza hut in my hometown and a homeless man walked in. And the first thing he said to me is Cash is King.

You know that, right? Cash is King. And for 10 years, me and my friend who were together, we got to be saying, well, Cash is King. That's kind of what being your friend is like. You're the homeless guy in Pizza Hut. Yeah. So it's like, it doesn't surprise me that you're a cultural centerpiece of, you know. And I leave you with just irreversible ideas.

Sort of just like, remember that guy we saw? You said that with that thing? Wow. I'll never forget that guy. This is, it's every day. You know, Valkyreier had cried today? This is as close as all I'm ever going to get. This means a lot to me, boys.

Hmm. That I'm the homeless guy in pizza. I hope I can make her cry. Can I make you cry? You can never make me cry. What if I died? I'd cry if you died, but it wouldn't be you doing it, unless you blew your head off.

I blew my head off, and I, and my note was, did you cry? It depends how you died. I wouldn't cry in every scenario. Yeah. Okay, let me give you a scenario. Okay. I died choking on Aiden's shit at the end to a dome.

Oh my God. And I know all that. Why just hear you died at the dome? It's on video. Was Nicknare? There's like a fucking thousand points of view of this shit. Cry laughing doesn't count. Cry laughing does not count.

It's like a sad cry. You don't cry like tears of sadness. Dude. No, I don't cry. I sucked him off and the load killed me. Oh my god. I'd never be able to cry. I would just, I would be on-

Why would my load kill you? I don't know, bro, I die. What do you just want to? I don't know, I'm dead. Cement loads? It's like Superman's load. You blew out the back of his head like a fucking shotgun. That should be one of Superman's power.

You took so many zinc supplements beforehand that it went through my skull. Oh. No, I wouldn't, I wouldn't cry in that scenario. Me and Ray, call her Ray. We had the exact same conversation. conversation about how I made you cry when my dad died and you read that thing and you came upstairs. You didn't make me cry. I literally, I wrote the thing that made you cry. You made my girlfriend's

mom cry and I made, she read that somehow. And I made your girlfriend's mom cry. Yeah, but I made the words and your thoughts that you made me cry. And what I told her, which was at the time, I was like, yeah, it was really sweet like tender moment because we hugged and I was like, yeah. And then there was a small part of me that said, I made you fucking cry. I know. Dupid bitch. I know. I know and you have that over me.

And that's fucking dope. And the only way you can get that back, Ludwig, is to blow your head off. And I would genuinely cry. There's other ways I can get it back? I call my mom. I say, how you feeling? This is just like Sherlock.

Pre-drafting. You're Moriarty. This is just like Sherlock. Spoiler. I want revenge. Because the only way to win is to... And we have a secret sister. Yeah. Oh.

Oh, the singer pissed me the fuck, the fuck, the fuck off. The show felled off. I liked it. The show felled off. I mean, it felled off. It's a good show. It felled off.

You're saying the last season felled off? Yeah. It's felled off now looking back. Last series. Not season. It's British. Here's the thing though, Aidan, is that chubby cattle.

Yuck. Let in that slide? I didn't hear what he said. Disgusting. Like, let's hear you. He corrected me. He said, it's serious. It's not called the season.

It's called a series. I guess it's called a series. I didn't know that. Hold on, this is an important distinction. A season is one season and a series is the entire show. That's for America. Apparently this is just for America.

In the UK, the series would be the season. No way! They inverted it. I educate. Well, they did it originally. We inverted it. Oh, no. They inverted what we made. Impossible. They would have TV first because going outside there is so fucking boring. Oh, rock it out there. Let's imagine things in our heads. In a box, in our living room.

Let's look at a glass. Wow. Anyway, I relapsed What? How do you relapse? Get up. Diggurates? No, I wish. Walking by 7-Eleven with Q'd he was like, imagine. Imagine?

They got mentholz here. No, you relapsed sports gambling. Pro. Dude. Because of football? Yeah. Well, you're five for five in Preds. I know, and I bet on all.

You won? Yeah, I'm five for five. How much you win? Looking good so far. How much you win? It's bad, bro. It's bad, isn't it? Looking good so far?

No, I'm literally five for five. No, this is bad. I know it's bad. Tell me how much you won, bro. Or no. How about over and under? Okay. Okay.

15K. Yeah, I won the bow of 15K. Really? Yeah. Wow. Sports gambling? Dude, the way it is now is so, call me a boomer, but like,

go to Vegas and lose everything. I agree with you. Don't do it on the fucking phone, bro. I agree with you 1 million percent. I want to polymark in a fear and episode. Okay. I could probably hit just a crazy parlay. It's like, okay, like, Hassan cuts off cutie.

That's like 99%. Will Neff makes a sexual gesture towards any male in the room. All these are paying out like two cents on the dollar. These are easy hitters, but you need to do like crazy prop bets where it's like they all check their phone at the same time. Oh yeah. And then drop their phone at the same time. Yeah. Shit like that.

Yeah, what a what a crazy piece of media that is I think project I think sports betting is a it's a it's horrible like how How many things you can gamble on and how easy the apps are to get on and the only reason I tried offloading I've offloaded basically all the money I had on Robin Hood Except for our stock bet oh so I still have money on the app because we have a trading bet that ends I think in like a week or two It's almost over, yeah. Yeah. And you're in dead last, and you're just not going to do the punishment. Yeah, probably, yeah.

Yeah. Yep. Cool. What was the punishment again? The punishment is you have to fly to New York and run a 5K in a suit and holding a briefcase. You're just not going to do it? He's just not going to do it. That's what we all agreed to.

And he's in dead last. He's been in last the entire year. No, no. He's just not going to. That's some Epstein file shit, bro. It's like, the law says you got to release him and they're like, eh. Yeah, and Jeffrey Epstein's there sitting. they call me Jeffrey Epseed

I got to cheat my Minecraft run Right I think I coined that in your chat Probably I said I went in one day I said Jeffrey F seed And then Tim pinned it And then everyone started spamming it

Um No I'm not gonna lose a contest This is old Oh is it? This one's old no this one's old If you go to What is this? Dougug dot com slash stocks

Yeah this one's I Doug looks crazy For sure old He looks like he plays Luigi in the live action Yeah Yeah

This is it All right How am I doing So we all certainly Last pile A lot Wait what the fuck Why did everyone

Climb so much You're down 21% No I don't think this is updated Either It is super up to date This is as up to date As it gets Are you sure

Yep Type shit Yeah sir Wait scroll down Scroll down scroll down Let me look at just My portfolio It's got to be

AMD AMD Oh yeah I know This is Nintendo Yeah I remember

I made the joke This is just what like five-year-olds like. Yeah. If I didn't buy Trump coin, take two interactive. Oh my God. If I didn't buy Trump coin, things would be doing really well for me.

You did buy Trump. I can't believe it fell off a cliff 85% like that. I know. And it's weird. Like what policy did he make that trot it? I can't think of one.

I can't think of one upsetting thing he did to society. And all the sudden... What did Doug Doug invest in Dutch Bros. coffee. What does he know? It's a great question. It's a great question. I mean, what does he know? Went up 3%? Apparently it does no shit. Like, that's not very good.

3%'s a great return. In a year, it's below average. Sometimes an index fund goes down, but Dutch Bros. didn't. Think about that. That's true. That's true. You do make three bucks on your 100. And that's good. And that's good. So it's like the competition's ruined. Yeah. It's not ruined, dude. I'm going to go. I'll go to New York. You don't go to New York? Yeah, 2029.

Hang out with squeak. 2029. I'm doing it. Oh, nasty, man. I'll run it with you. You running with me? Yeah, I won't wear the business suit, but I'll run it with you in a normal outfit. I broke my record because I had a flight,

and it left at, like, I left at like 8 a.m., and I got to the airport at 8.40, or excuse me, 740. Oh! And, you know, Gates closed 15 before it takes off. You should be executed. Well, you did knock it on that flight.

I got on that flight. What airport again? It was in Salt Lake. Oh, believable. Believeable. Okay. I think I meant LAX. L.A.X.

be harder. That's impossible. But Salt Lake Airport is pretty big. But I went beast, but I ran. I could not do a 5K right now. Holy shit. I'm tough for you. I did 200 meters. I was panting when I got on that plane. I was painting so much, she gave me a water

bottle. That's awesome. Like I must have looked parched. And I was. I felt in my mouth, but I wasn't going to say anything. She thought you were going to die on that plane like some people do and you got to sit next you the whole time. What's your what's your, you got a trash bag? right now? You're doing trash bags, though? I did

nothing. I did not a... Is it crazy that planes don't have onboard doctors? And we gotta ask? Who's gonna pay for that? A plane doctor? Some planes have on board... We have a guy who sits in the fucking cockpit and doesn't do shit while the pilot drives. You can't have a doctor? Make that guy a doctor. That guy should have to also be a

doctor. I think they just rolled like most planes probably have a doctor on it. Just by luck. Like sheer luck. I guess if you look at the wealth distribution. It's like, it's like 85% of planes probably have a doctor on there or someone with some of a spirit plane. The fuck doctor's on a spirit flight. If I could take on a spirit plane. But spirit planes are not calling the doctor out. Spirit planes, if you die, they have like a, like a waist bin. Yeah. Spirit planes, if you have a stroke, they actually just like cram you into

the compartment where the food is. Right next to the copymaker. Yeah, like a family guy character. Who's the budget airline who just tells people to eat shit and die on Twitter? Is it Ryanair? Frontier, Ryanair, Ryanair and someone will be like, can I have water next time I fly?

And they're like, fuck you. It's just goatsy. Fuck you pussy. Yeah, that's the whole social media playing. And everybody's down because it's like, yeah, I did pay $20 for my ticket. Yeah, you got to be happy with that.

That's a spirit. I mean, I guess I haven't flown a while, but man, when you pay double digits for a plane ticket, you're like, I got away with something today. Something isn't right. I shouldn't be able to do this. I'm not shaking me off.

So I'm like, so what's the actual fucking cost of sending me there because this is a bit of cost a little closer to this all the fucking time. There's probably like four Wendover videos that answer your question. And I've watched I've seen them. I'm down what they send them. You're down to diamond.

He's Delta Diamond. Delta Diamond. You called Ludwig Call me and and he's just like you heard the news you heard the news and I'm like what news? Somebody's Delta Diamond. He called you to tell you that.

Wait, I called you. I needed something from you. And then you just caught me off and you're like, you hear about the news? Some of us are Delta Diamond. All of us are Delta Diamond. Uh-oh. And then Qutty cut you off on the phone.

He's like, you're being embarrassed. He's like, you're saying this. Oh, I asked you. Oh, yeah, we're at a copy shop. I said, oh, okay, that's awesome. Delta Diamond. What are you going to do today? Like, what are you up to today?

He's like, I don't know, maybe sit on my hand, see how numb it gets. And the Huey cuts him off He's like, that was so loud, Ludwig. Dude, we're in public right now, and we're in the middle of a coffee shop. I would love if I went to my coffee shop and there's some guy

and he's just on the phone be like, I'm Delta Diamond. He's talking about jerking off later. That would make my day. So you're a hero. Yeah, I mean, you hit Delta Diamond, you celebrate. Like, what are we talking about? You got a phantom jerk if you get something as big as that.

I got, I can't drink champagne, so it might as well, you know. See if bubbles come out. Right. Aitcherock might have it too because he always books three seats. Yep. Yeah, he gets faster. You triple the point.

You triple the point. It's so fast. Way faster. They really, literally. They didn't say it to me on the plan though. I got a little mad. They didn't say welcome the diamond customer. When you're delta diamond,

they're supposed to say to you. All right. Oh, welcome. Is there anything you guys want to say to me? Well, what happened is I get on the plane. I'm huffing and puffing. The lady comes over. She says, when we're in the air,

something you like to drink. and I go just the water because I'm gonna be easy. And then she turns the guy next to me and she goes, for you sir? And he's like, uh, just blah, blah, blah. And then, and then she's, and then she fucking touches his knee

and she goes to him. Thank you for being a platinum member. Ooh, mugged. And that is below diamond. I know. And I'm sitting there and I'm sitting there and I'm like, well, if you got a pat, what do I get? You like, touch your own knee?

Oh, diamond. And then she just fucking, and then she just fucking, And then she just fucking turns around. That's awesome. I bought the wife. I'd double check if I had diamond status because I hit it recently. I did.

You are a bitch. Why are you chopped? Maybe she was nervous because you're a diamond. Maybe it's the pilots are supposed to say something. Yeah. They let you sit in the cockpit. Yeah. Dude, I love the idea that in...

I'm diamond. Let me sit on it. Yeah, no, you get to outrank other... Let me sit on the yoke. Other members of the cabin. Let me see the yoke will fit in me. Imagine the guy next to you. And he's platinum.

I'm diamond. Let me see the yoke will fit. And you have... Ask him, you're like, hey, actually, I'm Diamond. You need to show me the yoke. Smell the yolk, fellas. See what I did. See what I did of the yolk, fellas.

Smell the yolk. Steer the plane with me, fellas. I sat on it. That's what I did. I don't know me smell a yoke. Huh? Yeah, I said. I was my butt.

I was my butt. Four hour flight. I don't smell it. Maybe, you know, this might be my last year, you know. Maybe this is it. fuck up. It's just getting good. Keep slop maxing at Chubby Kee. Keep trying to slop max. We got us chubby cattle tonight and we have 699 more to go buddy. I don't want to smell the yolk anymore. 699. Zipper cute look I'll be yoke. I want to see if it'll

fit. Yeah actually can we see a plain yoke? Let's see. Let's see if it'll fit. Do they come in flavor? Let's do a 321 Neo. You couldn't fit the A321 Neo yo. You couldn't even dream of fitting the yoke. Maybe the neo I could. Let me get the I'd work the yolk like no other. I'd be a cabin. They'd keep me up there. Let's see zippers yokes. Oh, yeah, that one below, one below.

If you go from the side, you think you can fit the yokem. Imagine two boys. Yeah, you go requiem on it. Yeah, you go right, you're right. Nasty. You gotta, you got, you got a shak and Kobe with it. Dude, and you're passing each other? Like two lion statues.

Yeah, yeah, it would be two lions, yeah, yeah, back to back. Like the cover of lethal weapon on that yoke. And it would stink really bad. Hey guys, diamond member. Remember? The yokes move separately too, huh? That's what I'm saying. You left yoke up, right yoke in.

There's a skill to this. There is. What do all the buttons even fucking do? I don't think we need all those. Most are fake. That's what people don't know. Dude, I got droopy nuts. I could stretch my whole nuts at skin over there.

You could have seen them. You've seen them, right? I could 100% stretch my whole nut sack over one half of a yoke. And then it would get pinched in the middle. It's funny going to Weeball with him because he gets out before his nuts do. It drags behind me. It sucks.

I got to roll it up like boxing hand wraps. What is? Flag. No flag. Flag on the play. No flag. They call too many flags these days. It's a soft game.

This game is something to do it. Like let them play. I think I fucked up not going for the rewards thing earlier. I never cared about the plane Point churning. The point thing. I probably could have grind it. Yeah, you're a pussy. And you could have been making the yolk stink. You're already because I'm making the yoke sink now. I thought we were, I was trying to get a 700k Delta points out of the the yoke thing.

And 500K lets you make it. Oh sure, let's go back in, man. I'll talk about this one. I'll be vulnerable right now. When you said, when you started this whole journey of the yoke, I thought you're talking about nag and I just, I just went with it because I'm a yes ander. So I was like, what is she talking about? Like, Why is there an egg on the plane that he's like sitting on? Like it sounds pretty gross, so I'm down. And then you pulled up that thing.

I'm like, okay, it must be something in the cockpit. So I just flawlessly just... You'd be lucky to become a silver member. You understand how I try. You're a hard-stuck iron flyer. Wouldn't that be pathetic to finally hit diamond status? They let you into the cockpit and you should be like, oh, yeah, I could... Where's the egg?

Where's the egg, guys? Where's the egg? And they start laughing at me and I'm naked. Oh my God, he's never made it stink. Oh my God, dude. and I just run off the plane crying. Yeah.

That's what would have been embarrassing. And they provoke your diamond status. They take it away. That's right. They have to. Your nuts have to be up in the top. You can't put them under the seat.

Yeah, he puts his shoes up and then his nuts in there and he closes the thing. He closes it. Put him in the front seat pocket. They're stuffing him in the... They're supposed to buy Jesus too, bro. Not for that, though.

For some of it. similar shit. Very different. Similar shit. What do you think they crucified him for again? I don't really know. I think he did magic. He did too much magic. And they were like, we don't like your magic. They're like only one man can have the magic. It's crazy he didn't die again, by the way. He went back up. He ascended.

He ascended, yeah. What's fucking that's bullshit? He's God. Not bullshit, bro. He's the son of the Lord. He's the son of God. Christ is the Lord. And he also is the Lord. Holy Trinity. We're all caught up. Okay, we get it? Why did he die the first time? As to show, like, hey, I'm going to let myself die. I mean, honestly, he was on some Socrates shit.

The same. He was on some Socrates shit. Socrates let himself die. Socrates was a sentence to death for being a heretic. Yeah. Not a pederast. No, not even close to a pederast. He was actually anti-peterast.

No, he was a petterist. I thought he was a... He was like a famed petter ass. He gets a little petty. Petterism on the side. People get a fucking all and a half. Sure. He is a heretic, sent us to death.

And they were like, we can get you out of here. Escape on my boat. And he said, no. And then he tanked the death. He tanked the death. To be a symbol for all pederests everywhere. Oh my God, he was just like Epstein. That they can be heroes.

He was the hero pedophile. Yeah. Because Epstein didn't really. It's not super simple. He's sacrificed himself. Yes. Well, sometimes he wrote them. He drew them pictures of boobies and shit.

He just drew the log with his opposite hand. He went, Twump was here Quist Tuckle from Rush Owl If Epson had Instagram He'd be posting like phase banks Like little doodles In the notebook

Of NLEC choppa and Funny the cardi fighting Dude Epstein Rip Epsi you would have loved Rare Cromes Dude unfindable Chrome You know he said that Because Alex

Alex like coined that He like made a tweet That was like saying Banks Where's only unfindable Chrome That all comes back to Alex in the end. I just see pictures of him. And he always looks

like a different person and he's always in a different place. I feel he always looks the same. Yeah. I feel like he looks and he's always just got a different batty by his side. True. You know what I mean? I feel like his outfits are all different but they look the same to me. Do Aidan Ross and Banks and all them do they date

girls from like the same like agency that they're all like I can think all the headlines are like Banks seen with Aiden Ross's Ex-Girlfriend. I'm like, is there like seven people they know? Yeah, I don't know. I think there's some sort of conveyor belt that produces people that

are willing to fuck Aiden Ross. I think they just knew each other that long. They didn't even take about... You could just call Banks and tell him like... Banks, what's up with you and Aiden's ex? No, you should ask him if he and Sketch were cracking each other. No, I don't like perpetuating that. I don't either.

I don't either... Thought for a sketch. Did you see your age about a phantom? Yeah, he's the third one. He's biting the wave. Wait, can you show, can you bring out the picture of your age? It is phantom. Phantom has a phantom?

Phantom did it first, then Jason bit his shit. The picture of him with the car is so funny. He looks like dark Mickey with the, he's literally can't see any, it's just a hood. Like Organization 13 Mickey? Can you find the picture of him with the, with the Phantom? I'm pretty sure Phantom bought a Rolls Royce first and then Jason did. Jason bought one? Or no, he bought a Mace.

Mayback. Mayback Monday, whatever it's called? Is Mayback Mayback, Maybach? I don't know about Mayback. I own a K-truck. Mayback music. And that's, and I mostly drive my sister's, Minnie Cooper. I crushed a cannon through it in the back today.

Oh, no, that's not it. Oh, yeah, they're making fun of his legs. Wait, I think it's in that thread of pictures, though. Is there other ones in that chain of pictures? Oh, I think it's the first one. I think that's just like the second or third photo. Do that car is half a million dollars. I'm not crazy.

That is insane. It is so much. car. I'll tell you right now. Yard salary, don't buy that. Hell no. We can't buy phantoms. I'd would could, but... Oh, there's the one with all the cars. He's got a cyber truck. You know he's not driving that shit.

This one fucking fried me. Hold on. He might drive that the most. I'm sending a steer of discord. What's the Toyota? Is that a Supra? So fun. I don't even see where you see a Toyota. On the right, no? Is that not Toyota? You kind of squeeze for that right now. You kind of...

Open that picture I said. What, I could swing that. By the way, I don't know if you could swing there. Damn. He has a key blade in the trunk. What the fuck is this? That's awesome, bro. That's tough, bro. He's even got Kingdom Hearts pants on.

Like, he's facing a light. This is the same picture that RFC Jr. posted, or they posted of RFK Jr. in the War on Protein. Can you look up the War on Protein? They posted it like today or something. What is the War on Protein? Oh, God. A bro.

Good fucking look. That platform Is it for how close we I gotta pissing my balls We could end he said I get me out Okay Not a second over bro

You're just running away All right guys We're spending time together Thanks for watching our weekly hangout Yeah Which I guess we just It just needs to be weekly I'd rather do this than go to dinner

A hundred times out of a hundred This is my dream I'm glad that we And your dream is to eat a tummy cattle Hey hey man If you watch this for a friendship Simulator to feel like you have company around you

Just know that it's It's never any more than this right here. You're pretty much experiencing the whole thing. You're basically experiencing our whole spectrum of friendship. The whole spectrum of friendship right here in this room. And I'm going to suck one of these boys off tonight, but they don't know which. Uh-oh, I looked under my seat. It's me.

Check out the Intuit D. Dude, what if it's both of them? Damn. You got to do double D-D-D-D. Check the Patreon out. You'll be able to see live footage from the Intuit Dome. Jack Black will be filming Courtside. We'll see you in the Patreon.

Bye now. Bye.