The Yard - Ep. 234 - Ludwig's NEW Chair

Episode Date: January 21, 2026

This week, the boys talk about Ludwig being heat checked at the college football championship, Nick's 'famous cousin' idea, and how Ludwig was gifted a big chair! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Can you dangle your, can you dangle your legs off of it? You're nuts through the hole. I thought you were going to say you're nuts. No. Do you careful, dude. Don't get the raw denim all over the blue, the chair. It's going to stain the metal, dude. This is so crazy.

You know that pream raw denim all over the hair. Audio listeners, you couldn't imagine, well, maybe you could because you're tapped into the Ludwig universe. This is also the construction episode. Yeah. If you're an audio listener, this is the worst episode of the yard by a lot. There's construction. So imagine what?

Imagine Nick Engling is, he's got like a jack saw off of Amazon. He's got a reciprocating saw and he thinks it's a plasma sword. And then imagine Ludwig, this part's not a joke, in a big chair. Just, it's so. I don't know why you guys are like so hung up. It's a normal chair. Do you think it is? Is it no?

It's a normal chair because it's been so weird about it. The other chair I had broke. It would be normal for people like Katria. The other chair I had broke? True. The other chair I had, bro, because I just bought a new one on Amazon. You look like you have cancer and this was your big wish. Yeah, with the Red Bull hat too, to hide, you know, how you look.

Dude, he came, he was wearing the full outfit and like these, like, weird, like, Red Bull shorts. He looked like Sneiko. Dude, he just looked fucked. This is all fucked. You look crazy. I don't know why you guys are making such a big deal out of this. I look normal. Right now.

I think. People watching at home are thinking he looks pretty normal. Yeah. That's not. You guys look weird to me. Can I say that? Well, how so? Describe it.

I don't know. Just like aunt. I can't see his eye line. I know. Just like ant. Literally armrests. There you go. Hi.

Well, you wanted me to dangle. Oh my God. It's the sunny man. You want so much. You know what I realized this morning? That I think, and I think you guys can relate to this 10% of all my conversation. Station's lifetime with Aiden have been had with him having cream cheese on his face.

Is that so? It's so common. It's like 10%. It's so common. What do you think? Or some, let me, can I make it a little more fair? Some sort of food. Can I interject?

Okay. So much balder from here. You think so? Yes. Yeah. Yes. That's cool. I'm getting a top down.

Do you have, is it like a, like a, it's a way to strike? You look crazy top down. I look crazy top down. How do you, how, okay. Well, give me the, what is it? Your body folds more. don't know how to describe it. It folds more.

Yeah. Like it's fatter. That's not the words I would have chosen. Okay. This kind of seems like it's more. It's more crazy thing to say. It's actually worse, I feel like. From head on, I think the black distracts.

Okay. It's like that picture of the woman wearing three different types of stripes on her dress. You have cream cheese on your head. On top. You don't even know this. This is, yeah, we can't see that. But if they can't see it, then it's like, is it there at all? I think that,

I think that ups the numbers then to like, 50% all-time conversations with cream cheese somewhere on your body, not in your mouth. Yeah. Why do you think that is? Do you think you don't know how to eat? I've never seen anyone with food on his face as much as Aden ever. It's crazy. We had a whole meeting yesterday with the yard. It had food on his face. And I'm like, I'm going to let him do his thing. But like, God is not. I'm going to

finish. Christian has a food on his face. Christian is the king of food on his face, bro. I feel like he knows it though. He's the kid. I do think he knows and he lets it sit there. He's got that energy. And he's one of those ones where you tell me and he goes, okay. did I get it?

And it's like, no. No, you didn't. Oh my God, dude. I have to tell you guys. So, unfortunately, Nick Allen, who, unfortunately, Kelby's back in the office.

We all said. Nick Gallo comes back and he steps on a landmine. 40 and slipped. Kelby is back in the office. Kelmo's back. Much to the chagrin, and I've pulled everybody, much like the old lights argument.

I pull it out of. I don't pull everybody. They, they, why didn't pull you? He pulled. Who did you? You would find the poll. Polling? He pulled Nick.

Yes. Nick. I pulled everybody. You would find the polling at the goals. I didn't pull you. Give me the results. Results are an overwhelming 101%.

Wow. That is literally more than recommend Colgate. That's not even how polls work. Unhappy that Kelby is back in the building. It could be how polls work. A hundred and one percent of participants. A new game plus. Yeah, yeah.

It's a new game plus. Yeah. And so you start with the gear that you ended the last game with. And so much of the chagrined of everybody, but to sort of lighten the mood in this dreary atmosphere, he sent me something over the break he was on because he went to Japan and he went to an Apex event. Dude, he said, for one, he said create an Erica Kirk Twitch account

and start regularly chatting in Luddstream, but that was a different conversation. Okay. He said, don't worry back. What was that one? He said, Can I get up? Okay.

Bro, I hope you're happy. It happened again. I'm at an apex event in Japan, all caps. Some player from a team I've never met before comes up to me and goes, are you Kelby from the yard? And I say yes. And then there's like no follow up from that. Because it's like meeting Hock Tua.

Because the person is infamous in an uncool way. So the combo is just like, you know, it goes anywhere but the yard slash Ludd. And then at the end, he just leaves by saying, don't worry, I don't believe what they say about you. Just a pitiful attempt to console me or something. It's a dream. It's an absolute dream. You're ruining Kobe's life.

He's in Sapporo, Japan, surrounded by Japanese Nazis, and he's trying to enjoy himself there. Yeah. A safe place from your terrorism. And he's being followed. Does it speak to the level of influence that I possess? The electricity. that I admit.

It speaks to the, yes, the misuse of your power. Yeah. Oh. How is it a misuse? I don't know what's misuse.

Because you are having a poor young man be terrorized. What is this cope? A poor young man. A working class man. A working class man. Who's trying to make a career for himself.

I can't even make the joke. I just saw the, I just saw the little grubborn. gross earnings under Kelby's name for the year because we did annual reviews. And he's working class. I can't even make it. I can't even make the joke.

Yeah. He makes it buy with a few million a year. And he somehow is able to scrape enough to go on a trip. His one trip that he gets. And that one trip is ruined. I will say, I don't think it was in Kelby's like psychopath, chimo playlet.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I don't, hold up. No, no, you have to retract that one. He's been back to one day, and you're calling him a psychopathic Joe. Can I have one? You can pick one and it can't be Jomo. Damn. I won't take one then.

I will say, I don't think it was in his playbook of life to have any sort of infamy past being on like a CLG podcast and, you know, with all them kids in that house. What's crazy is that they recognize. him. They did. Because he's not, we don't show him. Yes. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. But maybe maybe it was our description. Maybe he's walking around going, I can go.

If you only listen to the yards, that's the only guy. A guy who looks like an attack on Titan, baby. Why do you do this? Because he literally said it. It was funny. Everyone kind of cleared out and it was a little late at the office yesterday. I'm playing street fighter.

And it's Kelbo, Liza. Alicia and we're sitting there and he he stands up and he's he's there for a long time. I don't know why I stayed so late. Because they were watching the national football game. They were watching the championship game. And he stands. Oh yeah. Dude,

I'm not kidding. Every time AT&T showed up on the screen, he would point out and go AT&T. I'm not kidding. You could ask him. Isn't that beauty that he finds joy in something? He still loves his job. You know,

you would do the same thing if Ayrith appeared on screen. I think it's different. This is what like the contestants on the beast. games do. Jimmy's like, bring out AT&T and they're all like, oh yeah, AT&T.

What does it mean? And they brought out Nobuo Uematsu. Again, I think it's different. How is it different? One makes art, another makes, in one scenario,

like Final Fantasy. Yeah. Slime likes it. Oh, okay. That's not the difference. That's the difference. That's the difference. Right.

Do you not like it? Sure, you know what? Down in the comments below, is AT&T just like Final Fantasy? I think, yeah. maybe now but not back then no pre ritekeer

okay so he's there and he stands up and he looks at he looks around I'm playing tree fighter I'm playing sagit it's not fun he's very hard to play

and I'm like and he stands and he goes Isn't it Sagaat Yeah You're saying it like it's a slur Like Bob Yeah no it's sagot

No no no I'm pretty sure We did this last episode It's sagot You're just doing it the big chair now The big chair wiped his memories. You like to get mad at Valorant.

That's different. This is different because you do it. I don't like how I sound. That's what you sound like. Do I sound like? Yeah, yeah. What the fuck? I'm playing the sagot and it's a problem.

You didn't come at me. You'd come at me? I can't go with you. You get one per quarter. One per quarter. I just fuck. That's when you're a straight, you know.

I'm not even, even in February. No, my name on Street Fighters Kai Sagat right now. So I'm playing and he stands up and he's like

Liza, do you think we'll be friends for longer or me and slime will be friends for longer? And she's like, what the fuck are you talking about? And I turn to him and I'd be like

it's definitely Liza man. I just go back to playing Street Fighter and then he's like, huh, well I will say this. You keep me humble. You definitely humble. me. I like how you humble me. And I said, Jesus Christ, stop talking to me. And I kept playing. And so I'll say, my point is here. Cali appreciates the fact that I humble him.

That's your point. He said it himself. Humbling him by making him more famous. Times I feel like you have no point to your story. I think you just want to do the Calby voice. No, I hate doing the Calby voice. Because it reminds me of Kelby. You don't hate doing the Cali voice. You could just have said what he said about the voice. If you laid and doing the Kelby voice, you wouldn't do it this That's true. You do it so much. You've been defeated. When he's up in the big share,

I just have to listen to him. It's hard to. It's just mesmerizing. So yeah, that's been, that's been the office. It's been miserable, I'll say it.

No, it's not. Otherwise, you wouldn't be here, dude. You like it. You love it. You like it.

And if Kelby didn't, if Kelby wasn't around, you would have a hole that you couldn't fill. He wasn't around for two months and it was pretty fine. And you were pretty, you look,

I mean, brother. I actually did have a realization. that Kelby, Calby coming into all of our lives and being present at the office and being this lightning rod for slime has actually made my life more free of harassment.

I actually, my life, slime, slime is dramatically less attentive to me because Kelby exists. Is that my agro table? Yeah, I'm getting maybe a shot a week now.

because Calbo is my great savior. And slime runs out of juice. Yeah. He runs out of bully juice. Yeah, I only have so much. And then he has to play video game to recharge. Wow.

But I don't know, since Calbo's been gone, you've let yourself go and you're talking about it. I think you like looking good for him. He's finally getting back. Oh my God. He's getting back at everyone.

Oh, because he has come gutters now. He definitely deserves to do this. Yeah, it's all good. I got CGs and I'm big now. I got CGs and I'm back in town. I'm back in town and I'm going to make it bad for everybody.

Urban Kelby got home there, Wingstop had an edible arrangement at his front door. It was all chicken. The Wingstop that he orders at was going out of business. I think it was, it is comical to be gone for,

gone for like three months and walk in with the man, the largest wingstop bag known to man. It was so big. I never seen it that big. Dinner for one. Shopping bag.

Yeah. Of Wingstop. I mean, you go back to Japan. You're not getting a big bag of family. me chicky, you know? It's like when in Rob. I would just be in Japan thinking about Wingstop the whole time. Just wishing.

I just like, I can't wait to get home. Show me the green and white. We don't have a fuck out of here. Fucking ranch dressing in this country. Dude, I will say, it's funny too, because he walked in with that giant bag. Shake wasn't here at the time. Christian wasn't here. There was no one to share it with. It was a very damning celebration.

It was just a garbage bag full of wings. I asked and I was like, hey man, two for one is over at Wingstop. So like, is that kind of change your plan, your output, the amount you share with shake. He kind of was just like, it looked at me like I was fucking zombie, dude. Yeah. Looked to me like he couldn't hear me. He didn't even really engage this way.

He's happier to spend more money on Wingstop, like, put more money in their business. Oh, yeah. He doesn't even want a deal. Buying Wingstop treasury yields. Can you get you a Wingstop deal? I don't. Imagine you're like, drink Red Bull and eat Wingstop. And it was all paired together.

And then he gets free wing stop from that. Yes. Dude, live like an athlete. Drink Red Bull ain't weight stuff No key Pretty good macros Proteins there You're torring macro

What is the Red Bull? Me, the Torrein macro The Torrein for sure That's cool God you're just Do they put bull sperm? Is that myth? What?

It's a myth They do that wolf sperm And that wasn't I was in Do they put bulls sperm In other? When I was elementary school You realize

That there's bulls sperm in it Bulls sperm in the Red Bull There's not It's all bullsperm It's like what else Do they put in is the question That's how it comes out It comes out

exactly like the original carboned and naturally carbonated bowl sperm delicious and tart with caffeine I don't know dude might be a contract break

to have both of those next week put that bull's cock in my mouth is that has that been said yes no yes has that been said if it comes out like that

has it been said that's some tart sperm yes it's been said of course most adjectives in sperm have been said

heart is Crazy. Tart? Yeah, dude. Alex isn't even on Tart yet. Oh, no.

No, I can teach him that one. He's still on sour. We're working on roll. And shake. I'm so distracted. Zipper walked in the room. He never does that.

No, he said he put a thumbs up. Zipar has hands. He had a thumbs up to show that everything was okay. He only has one hand to be clear. Yeah, he lost the other one in NOM. Why the hell are you in Florida? Huh? I was in Florida because I was at the National College football playoff national championship.

Why are you a sports guy all of a sudden? Huh? Why did you become a sports guy all of a sudden? Love sports. What happened? Love it. You didn't always like, like you always liked sports, but you were a Patriots guy. Tom Brady. Now you're a Drew Breeze.

All around sports guy. Aaron Rogers. You love like Los Angeles teams. And you love Jackson Dart. Right. Okay. A Bo Nix. No.

No. What? What do you even know? No. Josh Allen? Yes. I think it's his grand quest to be like the ultimate normie like megazord. Is that what it is?

Gross, gross sentence. Holy fuck. I've never gotten to ick more from you than that sentence. It's true. Gross normie megazord. Okay. That dead ass is Nick Fuentes' last tweet. That's not.

I'm not in a Miami club. Sieg Heiling. That's what you were doing. Huh? Were you, low-key, were you hanging out with them? Low-key, no.

I genuinely think they're, like, if, if the political climate shifted a little bit, that shit gets in Fortnite, like, in a week. Oh my God? Well, they already did the Nazi stuff for Fortnite.

You remember that? No? Yeah, they did that. Remember where they put John Sina from that movie in Fortnite? Because they got, like, they weren't told. What was the movie?

It was, it was a peace. Peacemaker. Peace maker. So there was a scene in Peacemaker where John Sina is, I won't do it. In the season. Yeah, he's making a swatzika with his body.

That's what he's doing in the movie. That's the actual context of the scene is that he's making a swastika with his body. Okay. But they released the skin as promo for the movie. So the movie wasn't out yet. And no one on this team told Epic what the context of the dance move is.

And so they put it in the game flat out. And the movie comes out. And it's like, it's just, you know, it's him being Nazi stuff. And they were like, we're taking it out of the game. See, that's what you're, this is epic propaganda. They watched the whole movie all the way through. And they were like, let's pick an email.

And they're like, I thought people would like it. Of all the things you can do with your human body, like we like this one. No, I mean, I don't understand anything about college football, to be clear. I was there because AT&T asked me to be there and gave me free tickets. And you do what they say. And I do what they say. And I said, and I said, and I said. Your calls that last so long 18 and.

calls are long. How long do you want it? And so I went and when 18T came on screen, guess what I did. I did the Kelbo. But yeah, I know almost nothing about it. In fact,

there's, I didn't know this. There's like a coach called Signetti. And so they use the Marlboro logo. And they just put Indiana under it because it's Sigs. That's tough. But I didn't get that. So somebody had the Marlboro shirt.

I was like, that's cool. What's that? And they go, because Signetti. And I go, who's that? And they just got mad. They're just like, what do you mean?

What are you doing here? And I was like, my team's Arizona State. They're like the inbred cousin of college football. You're just as like rich influencer, head to tone an AT&T trench coat. Like, what's every? What's the football? That's the exact same version of Ludwig that was at the Kendrick concert. Yeah.

No. That was the first time he'd ever heard of Kendrick. I was breaking it down. You're breaking. I was breaking it down. Yeah. Me? Yeah.

I almost got on stage. No, you broke it down. I almost got on stage. Almost. That would have been pretty crazy. I would have walked. You would have Snoop Dog walked like it's in Fortnite? Isn't that crazy also that's Crip walking is in that game?

Yeah, they changed it a little bit, but yeah, grip walking is in Fortnite. I didn't know that. That might be, no. Before it came out, that wasn't a sentence yet. No one said, I hope there's Crip Walking in Fortnite. Well, it must have because otherwise how would they add it? The beautiful, creative, talented team at Epic Games.

Yeah, this is not the Crip Walk. This is Snoop's walk. But it's very close. No, I'm not Crip Walking. I'm Snoop walking. I'm Snoop walking. I'm Snoop walking down Artesia. How has Snoop Dog managed his way into everything?

I don't understand. He's a cultural. I think most of that legacy, like cultural iconography has to do with what makes boomers and GenX guys feel like. They're still relevant. But it's Fortnite. Fortnite's really weird to me. I don't get it either.

Fortnite will take anything that has a piece of culture. Dude, Eminem's in there. Marshall Mathers. You know what he did to Kim? I'm actually getting to a point. Who's not in it? Who? Bro.

Besides what way of Gagrin? I was close to. What mainstream, like mainline celebrity is? Who's the least famous person in it? Who's the least? Courage, J.D. In the game? No, it's probably not courage.

Who's the least game? He's in it, though. He's actually in the game. Does he do the goonies dance? The fact he does. Come on. You know, he's... He weighs less than you.

He talked to him on the phone. Oh, man. He ran a marathon. He ran a marathon. He ran a marathon. What can you do? What can you do? What can you do?

You would get destroyed by a 5K. A 5K would crush me right now. He ran a marathon. I'm wearing a heart monitor. I'm allowed to be a little fat. Look at it Do we get to meet Let me see

You want to suck it Whoa I don't know you wear that How do I I have to wear this I have to wear this I have to wear this I didn't know he wore that

When did you get it on Like two days ago So I take out the fucking Flipper Zero I fucking Fry me Uh oh Jedder dysphoria

Whoops I looked down I'm like Fuck no No What the other one Speaking Speaking of inbred cousins

Speaking of Inbread cousins I had an idea The other day I was driving in the car And I was thinking we could fix pretty much all problems in the world if everyone government issue was given a famous cousin

if everyone government issued was given like everyone is given by the government a famous cousin by birth you are assigned a famous cousin at birth like famous like famous like they're pretty famous bro like probably the bottom is like Clay Aiken's your fucking cousin yeah wow and the top is like you know Timothy shallomé is your cousin yeah we can't shut this down

because I think this is Nick's first idea that doesn't have to do with going back to school. And it's like, we need... Well, you haven't heard the hole, but yeah. But think about it, dude. Like, what excuse do you have if you got a fucking famous cousin? Excuse for what? Like, okay, like making it.

Like, if you can't make it in this world with a famous cousin, that is such a leg up. So you're saying it's like a injected social mobility program. It's like, you know, I can't, you know, you can't cook good grades. You did whatever. It's like, well, I got a famous. cousin. At the very least, I can go to my famous cousin and be like, what do you got for me? Hey, can you get me an in and NBC?

Wow. Hey, can you, do construction on your house? So, something. Something, because they're fucking famous and fucking, you're probably rich. So we all deserve it. I think you need to lower the floor here because there's not enough famous to go around. I think Ludwig's, no, I think about it. I thought about this. I got there in my thoughts. I wasn't, this is in the shower. It was in the car. Especially was in the car on the way to come qua, but I rethought about it in the shower later and then got to this part of the thinking in the shower, which was, if we create this ecosystem in the world,

kind of like, you know, Hunger Games, it's like a government thing that everyone's paying attention to. Then when someone's born, then you just learn who they were assigned to, and it makes that person more famous. We care about the, we care about who is chosen. And it's a self-sustaining ecosystem. And then when you meet a famous person,

they're going to be like, who's your reggie? Right. Like, who's your reggie out there? Who's your reggie cousin? and they gotta be like, oh, it's just Bill. I don't ever talk to him. Yeah, he lives in Kentucky. He's doing fine without me.

But then you talk to like Timothy Shaliman and his reggie is like, like, you know, just like a kid from fucking South Africa. And he's like, yeah. It's global? Yeah, it's global. Yeah. Oh, dude, your famous cousin can be from anywhere. I don't know, man.

We don't get to, okay. I don't think we have enough people. We do if we go global. That's a big part of this. There's only one cousin per famous person? Um, well, it's one famous person per cousin. A lot of people have to double. did. Like the, if I'm a guy, I'm a regular guy, okay, then I get a famous cousin. Like,

I would not one at birth. Government issued. Yes. How, like, do I have cousins? No, you're the famous cousin. No, he was born. You were born not famous. He would have a famous cousin. But he utilized his famous cousin too. Am I also given famous cousins? Are you sorry, not famous? Am I given regular cousins? Am I a famous cousin? Yeah, if you achieve fame, do you now start getting cousins? That's up to your aunt and uncle. I don't know. Do you get cousins? What are you going to ask me that for? No, no, no, no. When you achieve a friend. Do you get assigned cousins like in the child? Yeah.

When you become famous, you are assigned a cousin. But am I famous? When I become famous, I get new cousins. I see what you're asking. I see what it's a good question. So you would be assigned a cousin at birth by proxy of being a normal human. But when you become famous, you would then become the cousin of someone else. And your original cousin would probably fucking die, dude. What?

Why would my original famous cousin die? They didn't take that back. He lives. Okay. Have I hit a level of fame? I imagine he died. No, he lives. But you get assigned a guy, a reggie.

So I have a reggie. Okay, I have a huge question. This is a crucial question in the theory. Sorry. This is your theory. Okay. Timothy Chalemay, does he just have one cousin? Yeah, he's assigned one cousin.

Okay. He also has, he can have regular cousins in the natural process. I think I get it. This is a math out. I think the math doesn't work. There's not a little. By the way, none of this works. Like, fuck the math.

None of this works talked about. Your math doesn't calculate. Am I hypothetical? Your math doesn't work on my podcast. I think it's still, I think it's still, you are requiring a 50-50 split of human beings to be famous and not famous. We create famous people out of the people

who were once reggies, bro. It's self-sustaining, bro. I think what we need to do is do free parking in LA. I think we need to reset Nick. When you no longer need your famous cousin, you're no longer your famous cousin. The day I rejected that idea, every idea that he's followed up with

has been worse and worse. Like they've gotten to the point where it's like, it's liquid poop. It's poop that's just liquid. And it's liquid and we bottle it. Wait, is it a food or is it just? It's a food and a drink. The FDA considers it both.

If it's for consumption I'm not in, if it's more of a practice. Right. Like if it's more of like a ritual. If we are, okay, I'm gonna, you know what? Because you're on to something. You know how it's easier, if it's easier to drink your calories, it must be easier to...

If it's not for consumption. AID is a factor your research. It's not easier to drink your calories, right? So if you take it now we have liquid poop because presumably if it's a liquid, it's easier coming out the other end. And we like that. It comes out smoother. It comes out smooth. It's what you're saying.

I got menthol poop. That's not a bad idea. That's not a bad idea. We're going to cook on that. Yeah. We're going to cook on hot. You brought to you by Red Bull. But that's the problem.

It's like you, you. you, that's your idea. And it's like, if it's not for a assumption and it's just like a hey, we all now, it's liquid now. No more solid poops. What about menthol cousins? Can you speak to it? Yeah, when you like go on that

campaign trip with your family and you like, you like kiss your cousin. It's cousins you kiss and then they make you have to kiss. You just your hot cousins. Mousal cousins cousins you kiss. This is fucking easy. That's not bad, bro.

That's fucking easy. That's solid, bro. Logistically, just from like a math perspective. There's enough cousins to go around. Is there? I promise you that. Wait,

hold on. Wait. They don't got to be famous in my world. They don't have to be famous. You just have to kiss them and then get them to you fresh tape. It's all dipped or is it some sort of natural product? No, it's just,

it's like a spark that happens only when you kiss your cousin. Oh, so it's latent. It's a latent ability that awakens. It only activates when you kiss. It detects if it's your cousin. that exists already and that's why so many people marry their cousins. If it's my step cousin. Oh,

it's like a free name. It doesn't activate. It's like something they know. It has to be incestuous. It has to be a by blood cousin. It can't be closer than cousin. And that's kind of how you know. What about there's a tier like second cousin?

No. Uh, yeah, uh, yeah, uh, yeah, but it's weaker. Second cousin. Yeah. Yeah.

How many cousins have before the dental taste is all gone. It's like a zero nick menthol at that point. Like if I'm, if I'm on my fourth cousin, am I getting anything having me? I mean, it's like how many people down the human centipede trained, you have to go for the food to not give any calories.

Yeah, right. It's a hypothetical you don't want to find out. Okay. Let's just stick to cousins. You said, it's a spark that only happens when you kiss your cousins. That's like the slogan. Yeah. That's on the can that you buy.

Is it a product or is a government issue? This is, it's actually very anti-government. It's, oh. The government's trying to shop this. If it's so wrong, why does it feel so right? Why does it feel so right? Yeah. Kiss your cousin.

A spark you'll only feel. This is a cousin. Down below in the comments, if you've ever been in love with your cousin, please explain your story. Everyone's got that one cousin. Everyone's got that one ass cousin. Hundreds or thousands of cousin? I mean, yeah, we're all related to Genghis Khan.

You could potentially... Yeah, I mean, in my program, you'd only have one famous one. And you pretty much wouldn't even know the rest of the cousins. Is he was a government thing? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Mine is like you're assigned. Like, oh, it's like a lottery.

Like, oh, my God. It's like, you go, they cut the... They cut the gender cake. And it's like, it's a boy. And also Regis. we just feel bad. Yeah, it's like, ah, I mean, you get your famous cousin for not much time. You're gonna have to go, are he dead?

Oh my God. Okay, no, that was my question. What happens when one of either the cousin or the reggie or the... Why'd you go back? We were out. Where the favorite cousin and the reggie dies? What did you rather talk about? How's Fuzley?

What do you want? I love to me. What do you want? He went back. Why don't we talk about how you guys are never going to get to 16K? It's like we drove out of fucking Bakersfield and bro pop to you. It's like, what? What was there?

Guys, I've been into smoothies recently, but I'm realizing that smoothies, one, inconvenient to go get, I gotta leave my house. Two, expensive. They're $25 smoothies. And three,

if you keep ordering them, might end up like heat of... I'm going to airwound, yeah. Stop. That's exactly where I'm going. Don't go there. You can't spend $25 on a...

That's only... That's the only... Branded smoothie. Conditions are the worst they've ever been. I don't... There's no other smoothies out. Nick? Can I tell you something?

Airone's the only... What is that? Because I was like you once. Okay. And I ended up. In a passion relationship, a passionate relationship with the guy who made my smoothie. You were once in a passionate relationship with the guy who made my smoothie. I had to stop going there.

And so now I don't even have to deal with a person because I go to hungry route. You go to hungry route? Yes. I heard you order it as well. Is that one of the options? To help prevent me from entering other passionate relationships with different men who make smoothies. Ah. I go to hunger root, which offers high quality nutrition.

What are they offered? Smoothies, I maybe believe you. What don't they offer? They offer smoothies, sweets, kids' snacks, salads. Like, they have the savory faction and the sweet faction. It's the only neutral territory is hungry root. Yeah, they're air dropping this in New Jersey to squel the rebellions. It's the DMZ of food.

So, let me get this straight. They send me the smoothie to my house, and I don't have to go to the grocery store at all. They'll send you ready to eat meal kits. You can make it 15 minutes or less, brother. And the ingredients are held to high standards. And I'll hold you up by your underpants if you don't fucking buy this. Oh my God, really? Yeah.

last box I got short rib French dip sandwich Terriaki chicken and broccoli And he knows what I eat That's one I steal it from you at Terence I pasta cheese ravioli with brusquet And I can take the short room French dip sandwich I can make it a smoothie Well they offer more specific smoothie stuff

What happens if I go outside To get the box of hungry root And I get in a passionate relationship with my mailman Who I think is hot That's on you That one is on you Is Hungry Route do anything to step in there? The end user license agreement specifically outlines that it has nothing to do.

All mailmen are asexual as well. Thanks for delivering. That's true. And they're sterile. One thing we'll do that. Come in and I'll make it for you in 10 minutes. Yeah. So if you want to try that on your mailman, take advantage of this exclusive offer for a limited time.

Get 40% off your first box. Plus, get a free item in every box for life. If it was 15 minutes or longer, the mailman would leave. Go to www.com. the yard and use code the yard. It's hungarroot.com slash the yard. Use code the yard. You have 40% off your first box, a free item of your choice for life, and the mailman might just give you a plan to a smooch and asexual smooch. It doesn't hold up my root. It doesn't hold up my root today.

All right. Let's get back to the episode and, oh no, my mailman's my cousin. Oh no. And he's menthol. And the male is my cousin. Oh, no. That'll make sense. That'll make sense. I, you know what? The guy who made this chair, he called me by my government. So it's on site. It's on site with that guy. And he kept begging to be on the podcast.

Well, you weren't there for that. But I heard about it. I know, and it's annoying that you get mad at shit you weren't there for. I wasn't there for when they stormed the Capitol. I was mad. Okay, well, you were there to be mad because those of us who were there, know what actually happened. We saw Ashley Babbitt put one put in her head.

And that wasn't fucking cool. That wasn't fucking cool of them. Because who are they there to protect? Dude, matching with Ashley Babbit on Hinge and then the next day. Tough. We were to have a great date. Yeah, so the guy gave me the chair, and he's a huge yardhead. Called him by my government.

And he called you by your government. And I heard that, and I went, ooh, shouldn't have called him by his government. That's a slime angle. We don't even say that most of the time. Y'all don't even. It's a crazy thing to do. It's like, because you know everyone calls him slime. And so we're tat and he's got the chair.

We do our thing. And he's like, all right. How many subscribers have come on the yard? And I'm like, and I'm like, boom. And this is part of the camera guy. This is boom. I did put two and I missed both, which sucked.

He gets the fucking floor, bro. Beer, because he's alive. He missed. And, and I was, this is after he called you by your government. And I'm like, and I'm just thinking of the conversation going to slime being like, what do you think about having the guy who gave me the chair called you your government on the yard?

And it's not a no, it's worse. It's worse than a no. Worse you can say is no. And I know if you're watching, I know it's like you're already thinking, I could make him a sign that says slime out of like it's, I'd make it, it'd be huge, you could put on it. Don't, no gifts.

Don't make him a gift. No, no. My affection isn't something you should strive towards. Let's hold the hell. You want his indifference. You want my indifference. Indifference is, possibly the greatest gift I can give you. I want your

best deference. As a fan and my vast deference. You want my vast deference? I want your vast deference. You can have it. All three years vast deference. I think there was a vast difference in my clan. There's a vast difference in my clam. That's funny. There you go. Okay, that's, you're doing okay. So how do you feel about the chair? I love the chair. I love the chair.

Sometimes craftsmen can be cringe. What I, what I said to him, what I said to come clean, I said if he hits a million subs. Uh-huh. I'm gonna make a pitch. To me. Yes. I mean,

it's a million subs. In a year. I gave him one year. Kraft or cringe is not a bad idea because it's like pretty much the only time we can play. He's at 40K. 40K subs? Yeah.

Okay. So. What was that noise? Because that is enough subs to have a sense of validation and a sense of, I think that's why he was, I guess, brave enough to just keep mercilessly asking

if he could be on the pod. Uh-huh. Right? So Theo, this is what you have to look forward to you. Yeah. But if you get a million subs, yeah, come on the pod and I get to talk to you. Get to talk to you. And then, yeah, it's a win-win.

You get what you want and I get to ask you questions. You're saying that like bad cops do. No bad cop. No politic care. Where are you going to read as Miranda rights out? Why would I do that? I'm not a cop. I'm an ice agent.

Wow. Yeah, you skip the whole fucking nine, I guess. I don't need to do all that shit. You don't got to do all that shit. No. Yeah, sure, man. How do you feel about that? You don't care.

You're agnostic about everything. I'm agnostic. I got a chair out of this. It's a cool arrangement for me. I'm using this chair every episode. No, no, this is not like a regular. This is actually the marker for season three of the yard. Season three, big chair season.

And every few months, somebody gets elevated. Okay. Until we all have big chair. In the last dies? What is, we all just get there? Huh? Or is there like a... One of the chairs is actually.

a pitfall and you'll fall through the ground. Oh my God, I wish we had a trap door. We're on the second floor. They can definitely hear that construction, right? It got so loud. I don't know where. That's okay. Barely here. You got to put up with it.

Because pretend that you're listening at your construction job. This is what the, this is what Tiberius 209 sounded like in the background. Tiberius. He missed Tiberius. No, you missed it. I know about it. Please. I shouldn't.

You really? We'd rehash it. Actually, it's in the past. Patreon so we wouldn't rehash it. But they pay for that for a reason. He wouldn't want to lower the value. He's such a nasty little slippery bear. We should keep it for them. No?

Right. And his Roddy. Got my Roddy on. All right. Show me it then. Oh yeah, yes. I was going to say when you said vast deference, I was like, well, speaking of sharing seed, Zipper, can you pull up what happened to me last night? I almost showed this to him on the computer before we potted, but then he was like, let's just watch it on the pod.

Zipper loves a full-blown inbred playing Minecrafts. That's such a mean thing. What the hell? What? Full-blown, Fliber loves a full-blown inbred playing Minecraft. We can get dark if you want later on. Let's get dark.

Zipper loves watching it. Okay. Yeah, I was playing last night. I tend to get to the nether. It's really fucking hard. By the way, pretty awesome gear here. I'm seeing it's probably full diamond or close to diamond sword diamond pick because a lava bucket that's pretty swag. I don't know what that last bucket is that or is there fish in there? That is a bucket of water with a fish inside. Okay.

That's so strange. Just in case. He's my friend. You traded for that, I'm assuming. No, no, I just I caught him. Okay. Okay. It's a bridge bastion. You're looking for the chalice and put him in a little hole. Yep. Did you already mine the gold? Yeah, mine the gold. Okay. Now you're this is after walking around for like an hour in the nether. You're falling down. Oh my god, it's a brute. Oh, it's the bad guy Well played. Well played. You like that? We stare down. Oh He nods. He goes oh I didn't realize you go. Oh, fuck you. Oh Wow, well played What's a No, what the fuck? No, bro. How do you fucking do that? You just placed lava on yourself?

Shit. If you see closely, I was scrolling to my pork chop. Um, yeah, that's- oh my god, you learned the lesson. I learned my my lesson. What's the lesson? The lesson is use hotkeys and keep lava buckets far away. Well, lava bucket's fine in the inventory. It's always use hotkeys, never scroll. Look it. Never scroll. Yeah, that, I mean,

this is the melee equivalent of getting a star Kio and then jumping off the map and killing yourself. Wow. The legend of lucky. The last thing this guy saw as he laid down to die was you killing yourself with a bucket of lava. Yeah, the scroll down's classic, bro. No, I've done that, but not that embarrassing. obviously, but...

Well, who's gonna put it on fucking LSF? Because that guy looks like Bulby's gone. How are we gonna get this on LSA? I think I'm good with my shit not being on LSA. I streamed Minecraft and I get... Dude, sometimes I'm at the top of the category which is like late at night or something

and the people that file in, please. No, no politic here. I don't want to win my chat. What can you do? You create a funny link that shuts their computer off. I would love... I would love that

yeah, infinite power or whatever. Yeah, but it's a pacepin and it fucking breaks their whole PC. Yeah, it's Arabic Zalgo that ruins their whole life. That'd be cool. But, well, you can't do that anymore because of woke.

So, you're trying to complete one full run, right? Hardcore run. It's not speed running. No. All right. It's not even close. Is that the farthest you've gotten?

I've gotten to Bastions. I've gotten to... What? What are you laughing at them for? You asked. I think I said it bad. He said it crazy. He said, I've gotten to bastions.

I've gotten to Bastions. Bastian. And I've got to the fuck in the fortress. The close I've ever got was got to a blaze spawner, and then they just cut my head off. But did you go to the bastion first? No. Oh, okay. And that's it.

It's hard. What can you do? All the times I made fun of you, I meant it. But now we're the same. We're not the same, bro. It did not take me this long. I mean, if he got his rank, you guys would be the same. What's this?

I don't know. What's this, jumping? What is this? Oh, yeah, check this shit out. Ooh, that's swag. Wait, that was clutch. Yeah, that's a pro clutch. So basically the fall damage would have killed me

if I don't throw down. Why is he glazing? Because I'm good now. I'm good now. You also didn't freeze up, bro. You fucking acted. You're seconds to thinking you fucking acted. And it's what you do in those seconds.

That's the difference between a Carson Beck and a Fernando Mendoza. Sorry, sports reference. Oops. No, no, yeah. He was that guy. He was 19. and she was 17 and it was a whole thing.

Oh, do you know about the 13-year-old and the 20-year-old babysitter? No. Is this like a joke? No. Have you heard the one about the problematic age cap? You hear about the pedophile and the child who the pedophile talked to? Are you talking about like Carl Malone right now?

No, no. That's a whole different beast. Look up Utah Jazz Mormon babysitter. This is different than Carl Malone? So different. What did he do? Carl Malone is just a sexual abuser, a deviant. What?

A pest. Amidst family drama, Utah Jazz Numbers. What's his, uh, Kyle Flipowski? Yeah, so Kyle Flapowski was a basketball player, and he's this, he's this young kid, and he's great at hooping, and he has a babysitter, and she takes care of him. Okay. And nothing wrong with that? he's a kid.

I don't know how old, maybe 13. She's an adult. Right. 19 or whatever, 20. And then, and then he's looking like a pretty good prospect. Okay.

NBA caliber. And, and ends up going to the NBA. But he had a babysitter at 13? I don't know the exact age. He was. They don't teach him how to do math. Actually, no, he wasn't Mormon at the time.

He'd go to his Wikipedia. He wasn't Mormon. He wasn't Mormon. He wasn't Mormon. He wasn't Mormon. His babysitter was Mormon. And his baby. babysitter converted him to the Mormon church

and then married him. They're married now. And then he got drafted by the Utah Jazz because they get they began dating when he was in high school and she was 24 or 25. I think there's like the

normie person sees shit like this and I think they sweep it under the mental rug and I was on a plane once and there were these two people they were talking very loudly to another person and it was this older woman who actually kind of looked like that

Israeli man's wife in the No Politic Here clip actually very similar and it's a visual we all know by now come on I have heard it more from your mouth than I will ever from the video can you make a picture of her by the way

I suppose and they're like a younger guy and they're talking to this person I'm sitting behind them they're talking very loudly, and they're talking to this person, and they're talking about how they met, because they're a couple. And the guy's, like, almost half her age, like, at the very most. And they're talking, and he's like, yeah, actually, I was his teacher in middle school.

And, and then the person they're talking to was like, oh, that's fun. And she's like, yeah, the joke is that, you know, he, I cradle robbed him. Ah, that's the joke. They're just like this couple. And it's like, this is the conversation that happens all the time. These are the normal people like, ah, whatever. I will, what are you going to do? I think you're wrong.

What are you going to do? I'm sitting on the plane next to you. I'm sitting on the plane and you're like 30 years older than me. You knew me when I had hair on my nut sack. You know? I think you're just sitting on the plane. You're like, wow, this is crazy. And I'll surely tell the people of my life about this later.

But for now, we're stuck in this metal sarcophagus. there's no value in me. Of course. I agree. There's no value in confronting them and be like, do you think there was a problem with that? Or that'd be insane in a way. But also, like, I think that this situation, as far as they're concerned, the couple,

they're like, you know, this is like normal. And it's kind of interesting. But I don't think it's like normal, normal. Like, because that also, if it catches wind on the local newspaper, becomes national news. But in some communities, no. like Mormon communities dead ass

they're like yeah that's fine probably soaked them I'm I'm sorry I hate to go back to it but my I would have solved this She's like NBA prospect I already have her fucking famous cousin

I don't need to She doesn't feel the need Right I don't need to groom on this right And this is the whole I already said too much Of everyone having a famous cousin I wasn't on board until you said that

I've already said too much That's her That's them Wow, he got really tall And he stopped talking to his fam He stopped talking to his family? Yeah Wow, Kyle Filipowski

What can you do? What can you do? Oh, motherfucker, bro. Look at that The top middle picture now God damn, he's tall He's tall as hell Heels.

Brother, he's a first round pick He's a hooper Sometimes you get groomed by the babysitter Oops Is what it is Ops Unluck Unluck

Oh Wait, where is he from In Orange County? I was from Orange County. That's what it said. Yeah, boy. Dude, this could have been you, Nick, if you were slightly taller. He said it was born in Middletown, New York.

Wait, he said at the, oh, go to the very bottom of his page. It said it somewhere. Or just maybe control up. Orange County, Philipowski projected. Oh, is that Orange County in like a different state? Awesome. Error 404. Cool.

Why is it 404? Don't know. There's probably a whole list of errors, bro. I don't know coding that well. Why? I don't know. I never looked into it. You what?

Error 403 is you found. but it's scary. Scary porn. Warning. Scary porn. So they never seen someone knows something about tech. And error of 402 is shovel dog.

Crack. Error of 34 is there wasn't porn of it. You found something. There was no porn of it. And then it forces you to make it on the spot. You have to make it. It opens MS.

Paine. Whatever you can get out, we would love it. Nowadays, it'd probably be fucking opens chat GPT, bro. It says generate, generate. Generated. Get to make the dinosaur jump on Google.

I like that error. whatever number that one is. I like that one. I was at the game. How was it? Yeah. Yeah, and you were excited because 18 and T was there.

And I'm saying, I love it. Yeah, you were their little sponsor slut. And I have a whole row of people from 18th. People I work with, but also people I don't work with. And there was a lady

who I believe works out. I don't know what she does. Not someone I work with, though. She comes up and she's drunk. And I don't drink. Sure. I'm chugging down the souvenir cups

of sugar-free lemonade that I got. Right. And she comes up. She goes, so who are you? I was like, oh, I'm Ludwig. She goes, okay. So you're like, in an influencer? I was like, yeah. She's like, okay, so what do you do? Does she look like that Israeli guy's wife? She looks like the Israeli guy. Okay. Wow. So she's gorgeous. She sounds like a lesbian. She's married with a man. She can't be a, okay. You got there. With a man. And she goes... Well, Ada's girlfriend is dating a lesbian.

That's true. That's true. No. She wishes she was. She has what I do. So I, I, lie. And I say, I'm the best Minecraft player

in the world right now. I like that. And she goes, oh, wow. I think my son plays that, or Roblox. And I quickly, no one where this is going. I'm like, she plays Roblox. He plays Roblox.

100%. If it's my son, plays that it's Minecraft. It was, I think it's one of the other, it's 100% of the time Roblox. And she was like, she's like, no, maybe it's Minecraft. No. And she's like, you really, like, that's, you play Minecraft? Like, really? At first she was like, there's no way. Because I, she asked my age

and I said 30. Are you wearing diaper right now? Like, you don't play Minecraft. I was like, yeah, I'm the best in the world. I'm the best. He goes, okay. And then she face-times her son. Oh. No way. Oh, my heat check. And he's like 10. And she's, we're at the stadium.

So loud. You're Face-timing her 10-year-old son during the middle of the college football championship. Brought you by AT&T. Brought to you by AT&T. And he's an NBA prospect. God rest the souls that built the cell towers for AT&T.

God rest their souls. And it provides for such a great network. So loud of the stadium. And she's going, and she brings it close. She goes, do you know what this is? And then she puts it on me. And then he looks at me and then he does this. And she goes, it's Ludwig.

That fluoride stare. And he's just, he's just, he's just trying to scan, like, if he's ever seen me ever. And then I know how to get out of this. So I go, steak, the YouTuber steak, who's a really big Roblox YouTuber. Okay. And he goes, I know steak. And then she's like, gray, honey, and that hangs up. And then.

You just said it? And then she gets like a text, like a minute later. And it's like, it's like, mom, I know him. I didn't know him under that name. but I know him I watch all his videos because he knows steak. And you featured on this channel? No. It's just a YouTuber who really looks nothing like me.

I just said I was. Oh my God. That's fucking funny. Dude, you are... Do you look him up on a series? You are going through the legs on both of them. Should have asked him about Bundin. Oh, my God.

Like Bundan, he probably would have known Bundan. And I might have been featured on Bundum video. I don't know if he uploaded it. Dude, I thought you were going to say, Steak the gambling website. Yeah, I was very confused. I thought too. This is a pivot.

Stake the Roblox YouTube. What a good little... I'm gonna go out on a limb. I don't think you guys look alike. No, not particularly. Call me fucking crazy. Can you look at reacting all my distance? Maybe if you combined all four of us.

Yeah, you might get there. Dude, he looks way different than you. Wait, can you go to I quit? Wait, he's popular. Yeah, he's... They bought a trampoline park? He's lit. He's a Roblox YouTuber.

I like the identity, the steak with the steak picture. That's pretty cool. This guy sucks, by the way. Why does he suck? It's the guy from college humor. Because AJ Brown drops every pass on his way. He used to be college humor cast on his way.

I didn't know. I didn't recognize him. What are we watching? What? This looks like a slime video. That's a half a percent of shame. No, I see. If I was 10 years old, I could see how I think that you're the same guy.

Wait, check his live stream. Is he playing Steeler Rain Rock? This is so crazy. Is you playing No, it doesn't look like it Steal a brain rot Anyway The world is so

She's so She fg She was like She was like What's like a thing I can tell my son And I said She was basically saying He plays brain rot

Just steal a brain rot Which is the most popular game In the world right now Yeah How does it work? You Like have a Farm

Full of brain rots That you can get From a conveyor belt. Okay. And sometimes a conveyor belt spawns like a really good one. And then, like, Minos. Yes. Is that old shit? Yeah, I sponge ball and you're in like a public server with other people. And so like you want to grab it, but maybe someone else grabs it and then you put it in your house. But then people can steal a brain rot from your house. So like when you enter a public server, like maybe you have like a pink elephant. Whoa. Whoa. Everyone wants to steal that. So you have

to protect your home from getting from robbed and everyone else trying to steal your brain rot. How do you shoot them? Your, is it? Is it? Yes. You can attack them. I don't, maybe there's guns in it. But if you log out, all your shit is going to be gone?

No, no, no, you can only have something stolen if you willingly go into a public server, which you would only do if you're,

because you accrue money when you have a brain rot to buy better rain rot. Right, of course. Or, or flag PFP for PVP. Or just a flex. We are,

we are, we are hurting these kids. I don't think so because it's actually the same as being in the runescape at the edge of the will be. It kind of sounds like all your gear on.

And then like with all your gear on like taking like 12 steps into the will be. You know, it's like a, oh. And then sometimes you actually fight. But most of the time, maybe it's just flexing. Yeah.

I'm actually picking up what you're putting down. At least in a runescape though. It's like the things you acquire fucking gold and things that can be transferred like, oh, it's money in real life. I get it more of this maybe is better. I mean, it doesn't matter.

Where am I going to find Benos? Oh, you're in Falador, the run skimmy. That's like that's going to help to know that. We know enough people. who kept playing Roonscape till now. Yeah.

We can we can look back and say that Roomscape definitively bad. Rooned their lives for society. Rune their lives. Because I don't think you're still playing steel a brain rot. The only good thing. The only good thing is that fewer people played Roonscape growing up than are playing steel brain rot right now. Yes.

Like noel still plays Roankekeke. Like if your your argument is like well we all used to play Rooscape and it's like well if everyone played Roonscape we'd have a society of psychopaths. Yes. Yeah. I don't want that. It would be the kid

purge all day all long. Now if everyone had, let's not even fucking, you only don't even want that. You don't even want to

think about it. You don't even want to get to that fucking plane. I actually mostly want to think about kissing my cousin and tasting menthol. Taste that spark.

Taste that spark. Dude, a five, an old five gum commercial where it's two cousins and the electricity is just crazy. Crazy.

That'd be such a crazy it's like the Fulgers's with the brother and the sister. Tyre commercials crazy. Dude, that commercial... They resurfaced a little bit ago. I think about it a lot.

It's just too long of a stare. It's just too much. The hug's crazy. The hug? Oh my God. They got to bring back that Campbell's commercial, man. With the rolling can. Oh.

Or is that? Campbell's. Campbell's. Yeah. That was fire. What happened to commercials, man? We don't watch TV anymore. I mean, no. We watch ads all day, though.

I've been watching a lot of ads. For fun? No, because I've been watching... Why have you been watching a lot of ads? Because I've been watching football, Aiden. Oh. There's ads during football. He watches sports.

He's a sport guy. He's the normie man. It's this, but it's a flashlight going towards like a goon cave. It's a guy rock in his front yard. You both said it was Campbell's. It's Chef Boy, R.D. Yeah, I feel it wasn't Campbell's.

Oh, I remember this one. Yeah, yeah. Classic. You know what Alex said, fellas. off the other day, girls wearing coconut bras. That did. That fell off, bro. You don't see that anymore. You go to Hawaii.

You can see that. No. I don't think they were chasing crazy, bro. They took it away. Also, the coconut meat. Chafing crazy. None of them wanted it. If you're allergic to the coconut meat it makes your breasts red. Is that real? Happens all the time. Oh my God. I think you're allergic to the coconut meat. I think...

You got to take it off right now. I think he quickly. Quickly. Ah! Oh my God. The coconut. It'd be better for all of us. You would see the results immediately. It's the scary thing that comes later. Better for... We could bring them back.

We could put Aiden in one and put them in Times Square. Yeah. I mean, I would wear one. It is all men. Did you just search men in coconut bras? You just search coconut braw? It's literally all men.

Dipper has like a... Like a... I think what Google is trying to assume about you, Zipper. No, this is what you're only interested in seeing many coconut bras? Zipers got so offended. We took a gay, bro. Of being a gay zipper.

Dude, by the way, Ludwig, did, um, I have a question. So when, when everyone found out that the grok image generator could undress people and children, did, did anyone start replying to your Twitter pictures and undressing you? No. No? I don't really have any pictures on Twitter, though. It's not like, right. So it would have to be someone posting a picture of me and then doing it, but I just wouldn't see that.

Yeah. Well, it's usually happening under things you have posted, which is why. like every woman on the internet turned off replies and because it's anyway, I don't think I've posted a picture on Twitter in a minute. Before they disabled the media tab, there was like a big tweet that went around that was like go look at the Grok Media tab.

Yes. And I had never done this because like the moment GROC came out, I block muted it. So I don't ever see replies or anything from it. And I was like, so I unblock it. I go and I look and I'm like, I'm scrolling. I'm like, oh my God. How? Because like if you're an employee at the company, you know about this.

Yes. Like we all found out probably as users late if you're not into GROC. In child porn. But they all in CP. But we're all the employees had to have just known. And they're just like, ah. Dude, Elon Musk was dead. What can you do?

He was dead as being like, L.O.L. This is so funny. Well, I don't think they code GROC anymore. I think they treat it like the ancient Greeks treated the gods. They just burned part of their meal in front of the server room. And hope he changes. Yes. And with the power of AI, he does.

He does. You just need to sacrifice something. And you're like, what's the food that would maybe promote less CP? You being this like grizzled, like sleep deprived H-1B software engineer at Twitter who just doesn't code anymore and you just like carve up squirrels in front of the server room hoping that grok changes. That's what the motherfuckers are Valver doing now. They got hired for Portal 3. Yeah. That absorbs a small indie dev company

And then now they're just painting blood Underneath their eyes And just wearing like buffalo antlers And screaming at each other Every morning you you come into the office And a projection of Gabe from the yacht Yeah but it's like on a cave wall Yeah dude we're so fucked

Did you come on the screen like villains Doing movies Like chair turned around Gabbin? And his yeah on his yacht Skinny Gabbin Yeah Is he skinty?

He got Finn, bro. Yeah, man. And he's old. Show me scinty gabin, scuba diving, shirtless. Scoba dives. You see that interview he did kind of recently? Show me skinny gaben.

He didn't interview kind of recently, but just some random fucking guy. Yeah. And it's like, he does a lot of those. The guy who doesn't know how to interview, like he doesn't understand the technology. So the audio is fucking unlistenable.

But it's just like someone cornered Gaben. It's on YouTube. It hasn't done something like this in a while. Yeah, he's like how thin he is. Oh, wow. Yeah. Skinty. Skinty Bindy.

Gabe and wait who's the guy in the interview? Just look at the fucking Gabe it'll be the first result. It was Nick Shirley And he was asking he's like Is Half-Life a real thing? Did that really all happen? And just go to like the middle of it Click on any Gabe clip With audio, sorry

Do you think that's the yacht? That just looks like a random hotel He says I think he says in the interviews on the yacht Workers It's unbelievable This is the whole interview just an odd how many views this has still better recorded

than 80s a hundred thousand views you don't mean that dude I mean this fucking 2K subscribe YouTube does a better job you do amen

we can hear the fucking guy we can fucking hear the guy cause the point of fucking interviews you hear this camera angle we just we just bust this out

this is so autos has this shown any other moment Gabe's been doing interviews for a long time he'll You turn off. The old thing is that he used to be able to show up at Valve

and just talk to him. And then they probably stopped doing that. They probably stopped doing that. I mean, that looks like some guy just emailed him and he wasn't busy and he was like, sure. They've been doing that a while. Sometimes you're not busy. I'm so sure.

I mean, if you're on the super yacht playing with your micro, what the fuck else are you going to do with? I don't think he's got a micro, bro. This is not an insult. I think it's saying someone has a microplanes. To become a billionaire, you must have a micro. Or a famous cousin. Or famous.

Is Gabon officially a billionaire? Yeah. He's got to be. I guess probably if you have that yacht. Literally just off counterstrike. No. Bro. $9 billion, bitch.

Oh. Damn. Dude, I looked up the, like, net worth of people. It's a higher. It's way higher. Than it used to be. Than it used to be. Yeah, I feel like we used to look up Drake net worth,

and it'd be like $7 million. We were like, What? I'm so much. Dude, Drizzi's kind of crazy. I feel like there's more billionaires and the billions they have is more.

Because it used to be like $100 billion. It was like, whoa. This is a often reported phenomenon. Yeah. This is pretty, you ask, we got the L.S guy right here. I thought the Hassani, the rich shirt got rid of them all.

Yeah. I mean, I thought he eradicated. There was a bit, if you look at the graph around that time I went, to make the rich pay, getting,

getting, becoming a billionaire off the make the rich pay shirt. Ooh. What do you do? Irony. What can you do? What you do? How you do how you live that life? Fucking peed in my bed. What?

Can you speak up? I didn't hear that. What did? You're 30. You peed in your bed? You peed in your bed? I peed all over my bed. Was there a lot of peed? Yeah, it went to sleep.

No, Kitty wasn't there because I was here. She's still in Utah. And I wanted to see if you put your hand in a bowl of water, if you'd actually pee and I peed everywhere. You prank yourself? I didn't know it was a prank. I thought it was a rule, a rule myth that rule wives talked about. An old wives prank.

I thought I was a working class rural wivesmith. So you're going to need a new bed is what you're saying. You need a new mattress. I peed all. Well, no, I'm just sleeping in the pee. Well, really?

You get back into bed and it's just wet. What else am I supposed to do? You should get a new mattress. Come up with a different solution. Oh, I'll just get another match. I'll go to the store and I'll put it in my K truck because that'll fit. You don't need to do all.

I don't know how to get a freaking mattress. I've been peeing more to fill it up all the way. You could order it online for a Felix sleep. I did the same thing. It just came in a, box like anything else. Yeah, of course I peed the bed. Well, I have a competitive bed wetter. I do it a sport. You know, actually, very different things. He does it. Um, so, you know, I pee on my bed you know, once a week to see, you know, you wouldn't know what I like. It's, I wouldn't know what I like.

They wouldn't know what I like. They would realize that you take a sleep quiz, right? And it, it, it, pinpoint's exactly what you like. I like my bed so much. I haven't peed on it yet. I've been having I, I don't want to. It wouldn't, I don't know how they would know because I've been having so many intimate conversations with Grock. And that's how I found this mattress. It's probably how you ended up peeing the bed too. Probably told you some crazy stuff. Well, the beautiful thing

with my hand in the bowl. The beautiful thing about the Helix sleep quiz is that it's not AI. It's just farmed a table. It just, it just questions. What?

Answer the questions. They got a filter list. It's not GROC. It's not GROC. It's not GROC. It's normal. It's like, it's like websites before GROC.

Was so, okay, so Twitter? Not really. No, no, it's just a website. It's just a quiz that allocates your, how you feel about sleeping in mattresses and makes you make a better decision.

They can tell you what I like? It could. Yeah, yeah. That's its job. And then you click and then you order the mattress and then there's no more pee anymore. Does it smell? In the bed is memory foam.

So it's also going to remember what you do. A hundred twenty-night trial too. You could send it back if you don't like it. You can't pee in it and send it back. Are you sure? Yeah. I guess I'm pretty sure about that one. We're not really 100% sure.

Okay. So maybe if you pee in it, you can't send it back. Let's just say that. You need to shut up and go to hear which sleep. dot com slash the yard for 20% off side wide uh helix sleep dot com slash the yard for 20% off and can grok sleep in it too

he doesn't need a bed because he's an AI thanks to helix sleep for sponsoring this week's episode helix sleep dot com slash the yard for 20% off let's get back to the episode which features well let's hope no pee at all um yeah I think Elon's at 700

billion uh hey good for him man yeah man but it's like you all walk around looking like that It's like... It's fake, man. What are you? Yeah, it's like valuation and shit.

And if I hit my Patriots overbett, I'm about it hit $700 billion too. You should... You need to stop sports gambling. This whole company is going under. I know. I want to hit Elon with like a fucking cannonball. Okay. And he'd move like one of those MythBusters ballistic gel dummies.

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, what do they use to call them? What did they used to call them? Yeah, it's a ball knowledge check. On MythBusters? Yeah. Oh, they had a name. Buster.

No. The crash test dummy is it? Buster. Is it? I'm gonna be right. Buster. Okay. Sure, but I hardly know her.

You're like. The main crash test dummy, I guess it's the same thing. When I think crash test dummy, I think hazard sign on the side of the head and made of some sort of plastic. You know what I mean? Not like we shoot bullets at you to see what it would be like. Yeah, I mean, it's a crash test dummy. Yeah, like the ones in the car. The ones in the car.

One in the car. And they got little markers on their head, like you said. That'd be kind of a cool tattoo. You should put your K truck into a crash test, like get a separate one just to see what would happen to you if you got an accident in that thing. So you can know like how close you are to death every day. I mean, look it up.

K truck crash tests. We know it would be bad. Low speed vehicle. Wait, that actually kind of looks close enough. It's the Ford Ranger and a mini truck. Insurance Institute for Highway Safety. This is perfect. That's a K-truck.

What happens to you is exactly what happens in this video. Okay, okay, a deal. Would I survive this? Oh, no. He's fine, bro. I don't know, bro. Dude. Oh, okay.

Oh, no, look at his knees. Your legs are broken. Both your legs are broken. Oh, he's so fine. I mean, we're acting like he actually drives it. Yingling drives this thing. I think you're paralyzed. No, it's not Ludwig.

Yingling is paralyzed. Our great hope is that, no matter what Vieninging does. No matter what Viening is paralyzed. Ludwig buys, he doesn't really drive it. Look, the whole head that came out of the car, bro. Well, that's a smart car. And that's low speed, sorry?

Those are low speed crashes? Traditionally, if you get T-boned at like 40 miles an hour on the driver's side, it's not. You know the beautiful thing? My driver's side's on the other side. It is true, yeah. You've cheated in the system. He's dodging most of them.

Think about that. Oops. Think about that. His passenger dies instead. A true. The cyber truck doesn't have a crumple zone. Cybertruck does not crumple. It just locks itself and then you bake inside of it like a tart.

I feel like the cyber truck. That's what's happening to people. Genuinely, they'll get in crashes. The automatic locks like malfunction and they can't get out and they just bake to death. Elon would never make it that way. Aidan programming his cyber truck to when a dog enters lock it. Put the windows up and it's like bulletproof glass. No amount of fucking force breaks the glass.

Just giant stakes in the back with window open trying to bait dogs in. I saw a dog at the bagel place today And I was like, Aiden can't come here anymore He'll walk this whole fucking place down I wouldn't with a drum magazine I would walk the dog down With the drum magazine I would eat 90 rounds

I would preserve the human life And I would look at the owner And I would say never make that mistake again Your fucking old ass little fucking kid is going to want a dog one day And you're going to do it because you know what you're a sucker And you're going to buy the dog And you're going to fall in love with it and guess what? You're going to have to fucking put it down one day bro

And you're going to be so sad And I'll be there. And I'm gonna be annoyed. I won't be sad. I'll have a life of preparation. I'll be, I'll be annoyed because I'll be like, oh,

you care because it's your dog? Like, grow up. He cares. Such an Aiden thing. He's gonna bring his dog into coffee shops, take pictures and send it to us. Oh my God.

Look a puppuccino. It's a dog, it's a dog, man. I am going to fly to Sweden and watch you weep at your dog's grave. And I'm going to be there three weeks earlier, shooting your dog in the skull.

Mean hund? You mean hund. No. Two hund. name. Did you know you made a spelling mistake when you said S2 Brutus today? Yeah, I saw that

and then I said, you know, maybe there's like multiple translations and I don't know that. I don't want to get knowledge checked in this one. What's the spelling mistake? Oh, no, no, it's at two. That's the Latin. No S.

But you said S2. Oh, you guys are wrong on this. Look at up, Zipper. S2 Brutus. So. More accurately, at two. Okay, well, again, it's AI, which we don't take this.

So S2 counts. Countly and control F. Yes, too? Is this like the Catalina Wine Mixer song? There's like two ways. There's two languages for it. There's two ways to do it.

You know what I mean? Two ways? Two ways to win? There's two ways to win on this one. And that's people don't get about Latin languages. Interesting. Brutus. We gotta bring names like that back then.

Is Kelby the one being loud over there? It sounds like Liza right now. I don't know. I might have to go talk to them. It's popping off in the office, man. Do you think maybe I should talk to them? We've lost the sanctity. No, I think it's fine.

The sanctity of our space. construction episode, you getting your anger out on people talking slightly above average seems to be more... It seems more like you just want to yell at someone. All the construction workers loudest fight the whole time, then women start talking. He's like, should I go yell at the whole time? Should I get it in there? It's like piercing my ears. I mean, for one, I'm glad you included Kelby as a woman.

Two, yes, that is how the rules are at mogul moves. Do you know who was at the game yesterday? Who? Mr. Beas. Mr. Beast. Think bigger. Bigger than me. Mr. Bees, I can't.

Mr. Bees, Mr. Bees three years ago. Cam and Christian were there. Christian. Christian was there. Donald Trump. Donald Trump? Donald Trump? Myself.

Trump? And Hungry Box. Oh my God. H-Bos was that? And here's the deal about Juan de Biedma. I don't know what fucking money or cloud that boy has, but he was in the sweet next to Trump. Oh, he's like, I'm at the lowly mid-level seats that I'm provided by one of the big sponsor this event. Well, he's an owner of Team Liquid.

It's crazy. They have all sorts of connections, like fucking. Marvel, bro. Disney, that's Disney, bro. So we obviously got the hookup. It is crazy how you're not, you're not even the most famous puff player in the venue. Oh, well, you lose the tournament in that venue. I don't, I mean, I might not even get second.

I probably don't get second. Wow. There's a whole, there's like 70,000 people there. Why was Donald Trump in a college football game? What's the cultural significance of this college football game? I don't understand. It's like the biggest college football game of the year.

College sports are pretty big, but also Indiana. Is it like the Super Bowl? It's like the Super Bowl for Carls. college sports. It's like in college they have sports right and they're still a championship. So this is their Super Bowl? I don't know. This is their Super Bowl and It's like Rap M is playing Magi?

Yeah, called collegiate at the top level of like the ceiling's Yeah, it's like Rap M versus Magi Yeah, yeah If they were in college If they were in college Here's the deal Indiana just as

They were always ass and like never one ever in the history like the hundred year history and then this year they're undefeated in one right so everyone's hype on that are sports RNG sports are a little bit of screil it's just money

it's money in a bit of lottery in the sense of like you know you're paying a coach and maybe the coach is shit and you paid them well they pay the players now too right yeah or you drafted a player and the player kind of so it's but if you have I mean here's the deal You know why Indiana won from being shit?

It's because Mark Cuban injected a bunch of fucking money into it. Money tucks and cash is king. Are there any caps on college sports? Like a amount of money? I don't think so. No, because the highest paid coaches

in football are college coaches. They get paid like 10 plus a million a year. You never answered this question. Why are you into so much sports now? Wait, I thought we answered it. In a playoff football. I'm not in a college football. That was just...

You're not. No, that was just a... sponsor. You did that to be a little slap for that. In your normie megazord body, which part, which part does Christian sit in and which part does Yangling sit in? What is that fucking sentence? Because in the Megasor, you understand what the Megasort is. You know the Megasor. Yeah. The thing for power is, just say you don't know. No, I know the Megasor. Go ahead. In my Normy Megasorbord body, I guess, you're operated by tiny. You said it because you had to think about it for two seconds, but now you get it. I got it. I just

don't know. And which parts would we get? Okay, first off, not everyone would be in my megazord body. There's five of us that's enough for a megazord. Yeah, yeah. I'm not confused about the number of people. You just wouldn't be a five. What the fuck? You seemed confused.

Because if we're, I mean, presumably in your wedding pyramid. So cool, dude. So it would be weird to not be in your megazored body. It's, I get a different. Here's the thing is if you're in my megazord body, I want the best and the brightest. So I'm going to give you my megazord five and I don't want anyone to be offended. I'm like, I'm blue like. Nick's in it.

Yes! Where I'm like what? Nick is going to be my left leg up to and including my penis. Yes! You're the Blue Ranger. Welcome to average, brother. Okay. Kelby's in it, right hand. What? He's Kimberly.

Kelby is in your Normie Megasord body. Kelby's my right hand. I guess me not being in the Norma Megasur body makes sense. If you don't pick me now, I will shoot myself in front of the office. Christian is my left hand. It's a win-win. Christian's my left hand. He's a Macedon.

Okay. my left leg is Yingo under the left leg crushed dying, Aiden Yeah I like that

Yeah Unrelated to the Megasol So I'm not in it Yingo controls it I don't have any Same It's not me Dude

It's And then what's the fifth part The head? That's actually just you You have to be in it Okay, it's me It's you yeah Easy

There's my Megasor body This all makes sense I'm glad I'm not In the Normy Megazoid No no no You are what I'm fighting I'm Tommy Yes

I have my own sword. And we are fighting and things aren't going well for you. I'm the dinosaur one. What are you talking about? I know, but Kelby's going crazy. What are you talking about? Kel is going crazy. He's like he's doing well.

Yes. In the fighting? Yes. I don't know about that, gang. What do you mean? I feel like if Kelby could get in the Ava, he would be doing crazy shit. Backed into a corner Kelby shits himself and begs. Oh, God.

And you got to fight the fucking. I'm so hurt. Man. I'm so hurt. Why you hurt? What? Dude, literally what? Let me tell you what happened when we were in the all-in-office late night.

Yeah. Someone said something about how Aden's the boss, and then Kelby stood up and corrected, I think it was Liza, and said, Aden's not the boss. Ludwig's the boss. And then he said, Ludwig's the boss of all of us. I'm playing Street Fighter. I said, not me. And then he said, okay, yeah, actually you're right. Not you.

But the rest of us. and that's how you, that's how they think of you. Bro. And I think you should take action. I think you should punish them. I think you should punish them, let them know who the fucking bought. Mr. Who's the boss is who you got to become. Mr. Who's the boss is who you got to hire Mr. Who's the boss to come in to set our company straight.

I love all this glorious tech. That guy sucks so bad. He sees the big keyboard. Oh. Wow. It's just like a regular one. Except it's big. That guy loves glorious tech.

Gizmos and et cetera. He loves tech. I actually don't hate him. I just think he's ridiculous. He's the goat, man. I got a question. Why the fuck is his name? Mr. Who's the boss? Because he probably made it. The same reason why Jimmy's Mr. Beast, bro, they get something. They get something that we fucking, they operate on a

plane that we can't even think on. There's a cabal of misters. Yep. And I wonder what they're up to. The stone cutter, misters. I'm going to Mr. Island. In high school, my friend this cool is gaming tag was Mr. Mr.

20, I think 20 was the number. And we all asked him why. He said, it's from that one, I think it's a Justin Timberlake song. And then we made fun of him for three years. He shouldn't have come clean. Thinking back now, that's very cool. It's fine.

If he was just secret about you, it's great. Mr. Mr. Mr. is like an 80s pop group. No, it's from, it's from Soul Sister. Yeah, yeah, Mr. Mr. is. It's, hey, soul, Mr. Mr. Hey, that's Mr. Mr. Honor. Oh, yeah.

That's worth making fun of. They did say that. Wait, he said it was from the. the train song, not the Justin Timberlake song. Yeah. This is what you're telling me he said. That's less cool. Yes.

That's, yeah. But I do like Mr. Mr. The sound of it. Because written. Mr. M.R. Mr. Mr. is a character. Not Mr. Where?

What? Anyway, Broken Way. Brogan Way is a great song that they made. Did music use to suck? No, music was good. I think music used to suck balls. When? When?

Old music? I think it was bad in the, Was music bad in the 60s? No, it was like Jimmy Hendricks and shit. I think music's always been pretty good. I think it was actually bad pre-classical era. Pre-Boc, I think it was pretty ass. And we don't listen to that stuff anymore.

First guy to make a song, bro. Wow. That is like a net spend level thinker. Music got really interesting, I think, a hundred years ago when black people got involved. We kind of like... And black people never did music before that. There was a no history of... black people doing music.

Well, Elvis hadn't invented it yet. Africa, Africa was musicless. Until they were forcibly brought to America. They called it silentless. They first discovered and explored music. Until Spotify rap came out. That's right. And that we all have music.

That was a hundred years ago. And that's the history of music. If you think about it. I wonder what the first good song is. The first good song is... Eminem Infinite. It's the first good song. Yeah.

You know what song, your music sucks is like the 19, like 20s like, yeah, yeah, it sucks, fucking ragtime doll and shit.

That is bad music. What happened? Why did we veer off so far? Big band? Big band can hit. I mean, it's not sure how it's played like out of a xylophone. And there's like a kid

getting a fucking cigarette put out on his, by his fucking dad on his leg. And that shit, Ellis into that in the background. It's like, this is fine, dad, I turn the music show, but also, DeBucci, Clare de Loon.

Sure, that's fine. Same era. That's the same era. That's not even fine, though. That's really. Clare de Loon came out. Debussy. DeBucci was like 18,

I think active 18, late 1800s or early 1900s. I think Claire de Loon's like 19, I don't know, 12, 15. I'm talking about gramophone. 1869. Wow, Clear DLoon is the 1900s. I didn't know that.

Yeah, yeah. DeBusi's like a relatively newer composer. I didn't know that. That sounds like a big YouTuber. dude DeBousy just did a fucking Roblox video. Debozzi did a robox video? 1890 1905

It wasn't published Bro, he sat on it He sat on it Until it was none Wow 20th century music So anyway there were bangers There were bangers every now and then But like culturally that fuck

I don't know that that's gotta go I wonder how it sounds Because I you know We've only heard it The way it was processed and recorded and then like, you know, with probably the through the big horn. The gramophone.

But like what would it have sound like in the room? Maybe it's dope in the room. You know, maybe they're just like, hello, my, you know, they're talking real clearly.

Is if you were to distort, like, train soul sister, it would still sound like train soul sister. You'd still hear it. It would just be in a Bioshock three game. I think also it's like, it's essentially that Gabeon interview.

Like, is it that much better that we can hear him clearly? Like, I mean, it's like, but is it... You get it, though. We get it. Like, we get what he's saying. But like, you can't turn...

Look, clear distinction. You can't turn that interview into shorts, bro. No, you can't. And there's a... And that speaks to the quality of the moments. And you can chop out moments and make that shorts if it had better audience? That's the value of things in this world

is can you turn it into a short? Can you turn it into a short? Can it be a cookie? Would Claire Dalloon have been a short? Claire Dalloon could not have been a short. No, no. So it's inherently bad. It's inherently bad.

Rock Monanoff's concerto number two. can. It so it depends. Or Jiminy a OPED. What year is Moonlight Sonata? Because only the beginning of that one is Beethoven. It's like the last like 3, 4 minutes. It's just not really good. Early 1800s. He's not really 1800s. He was sad bro. Yeah, he was. He snapped with that.

Let me give it 1842. Guess what, too. It's always a bitch. Way too late. Do you know how much fucking homework I've done to that song? Really? Really? Which part? Let just press play. Basically, rip. I have a playlist for with music. It's three parts.

Oh, it's three movements. Dude, this one girl I knew uploaded a video of her on Facebook way back of her playing Moonlight Sonata and it was, it's very simple to play at the beginning. And then she died in a car wreck. Such a slime story, right?

Just like if I had to write a slime story. Only followed by like, God, she was fucking beautiful. And her older brother was tall and he was going to be shit. else? She was so pretty. Yeah. Yeah. She's too pretty to play the piano. And she fucking died. She was too pretty to be in a car accident for sure. No, she was drunk driving. Yep. And a K truck. And that's ugly. And that's ugly. And she got T-boned on the wrong side. If you ask me. She's been dead. She got T-boned on the right side in her K-truck. She's been dead longer than you know her.

For like 10 years. Isn't that crazy? That's crazy. It's so many years to be sad. Yeah. She's missed so much. She missed all of Mr. Bees. of COVID. She missed AI. Yep. What the fuck? I mean, she, a lot of shit. Life got so much litter. She would have loved Mario smoking weed on X. Oh my God, bro. She would have, she would have reposted that

picture of Timmy Turner. Rest and peace. She missed two Hollis. Man, I can think of so much shit she missed. That's sucks ass. She missed the transition to Yerba Madre. She'd be so mad about that. She missed coconut bras falling off. Oh, she's probably still wearing one. No. She missed the male, the male. The Hell reclamation.

Yeah, she did. She's like, wow. Man, it was deep red Colorado, so I don't know if she would have grown to be a tolerant person. Oh, wow. Should we revive her? Oh, I can't wait to go see white dog poop. Where's my coconut bro? Where's my coconut bro?

Also, what's being trans? Oh, she would not be tolerant. That's what I'm saying, right? Like, you know, what those who were lost earlier on. Would she be pumped that the Broncos are fucking still chugging along? Maybe. Maybe if she was... She'd be sad that bow necks got injured.

Yeah, she probably would have been posting about the Broncos on Facebook. Dude, she'd be turned up as fuck with the whole 2016 meme. Oh my God. She would have been posting. She literally left in 2016. But her 2016 pictures would be really horrific. She just posts selfie like... They'd be bad to look at it.

Unlike the iPhone 4? That would be... She'd be viral. She'd go viral. And then she'd have to become someone's cousin. Dude. She'd wake up to a flurry. I was telling Cudy by the 2016 trend

and I was trying to find a picture on her phone. She has an awesome picture of her with Cake Boss. Really? Yeah. Who's Cake Boss? The Cake Boss? The Cake Boss. The cake boss.

Why does she have a picture with Cake Boss? Because she met him in 2016. What? You don't know Cake Boss? Why? Is it a show? Why did she meet him? What do you mean?

Because she makes cakes, Aiden. because she's in the industry. A lot of people make cakes. Yeah, but not like she does. Hmm. Okay, it's like real, recognized real. Damn.

Do you think he could make Mario Gozzi cake? It's, uh, yeah, easily. He is the cake boss. But I don't think she could do it.

Do you think he should have to prove it? He would not do it as well as her. Is that a pride cake? Is he based? Go up one? Um, yeah. And the whole episode is about how he beats the fuck

out of the person with the pride cake with that roller he's holding. She makes them eat until they explode. And that's when the show got canceled. Dude, that's a bird. You can't get rid of him. He's the cake boss. He kind of looks like...

Ballyastro. Doesn't he look like Papa John? He does. We're cake boss guys. He's got this New Jersey like skull shape going on. That's what I was trying to think of, Aiden. I won't say it because now I'm realizing there's him, yeah. But wow. Uncanny. Dude, I think dead ass

and I'm being... Shackones of Papa Johns? Chaconas so much, bro. Jackones a Krispy Kreme? Chaconone's a Krispy Kreme? Chachron's everything, bro. Chacaroni? Dude, Earl just got on this tip. Earl has a prime pizza now. Earl sweatshirt?

Who's Earl sweatshirt? The rapper. He's got to put, I was like, it doesn't seem like an Earl moon. I think, correct me if I'm wrong. And if you don't know, don't say anything. I think Lacey is related to Papa John. No, untrue.

No, it's definite. I don't know. I won't sleep because they couldn't be certain. You're shutting it down, but eyeball test related. He's part of the Buddy Velestro side of the Italian, New Jerseyans. Who's buddy Velestro?

The cake boss. So he's related to the cake boss? So he's at war with Papa John. It's sweet versus savory. Yeah. Bro, who is that? And what side does Lacey pick? He's a stone cold dumb ass.

Wait, is the Army? Are the armies? Okay, maybe a dumb question, but please, there's no dumb questions, okay? Are the armies, is it like an anthropomorphic pizza fighting an anthropomorphic cake? Or is it the people who like savory things fighting the people who like sweets? It's foot soldiers, man. Okay. This is urban warfare.

Who fucking wins? That's a great, because the savories, that includes what? Like, people who eat fucking steak, that's all the yoked guys? In the New Jersey Sweet versus Savory War, I would say Sweet has a disadvantage, right? They're getting tired faster. Savory wins. For sure. Savory does, however.

Oh, you think the fucking pizza eaters are real fit and athletic? No, I think they're more likely to own guns. But if they all hype up, right, it's like, oh, I'm going to eat a full fucking steak for this war. I don't know, fucking tired. But the sweets guys, sugar rush, they're cranked. And they're probably into meth. They're going to crash. The fight lasts longer than an hour

than I think the savory guys... I think the sweet guys are more willing to cut somebody's fucking head off. I don't know. I think eating sweets is inherently to the New Jersey human being is inherently a feminine thing. Yeah. Oh. The New Jersey citizen thinks...

Have you seen the body type? What's more manly than getting a fucking slice? I get a slice and I eat it! You don't think Tony Suprenna has a sweet tooth? He has a sweet tooth, but imagine Tony Spreta Tony Spreta eating an ice cream. He goes to the fridge. He goes to the fridge.

He gets a canola. It's a He goes to the fridge and what does he grab? He doesn't grab little sweets or treats. He grabs fucking salami. No. He stops at Ferrar on the way home. He comes over the fucking chocolate-dip canoly. And he fucks a beautiful Italian woman.

Anyone but his wife. The stripper. My grandpa. So he fights for the sweets. Mm-hmm? Dude, he's taking sweets on the way home, bro. Here's the thing. He only eats fucking savory if Karm makes him fucking savory.

No, dude. He doesn't. He takes a lasagna out of the fucking freezer. Dude, the only time he's eating savory. Dude, he stacks savory food in that fucking show. It sounds like he's eating a lot of canollies. Name me a fucking scene where he eats a canoli, bro. You can't.

I can't. You can't. He's done it like twice now. We can't. Shut up. The whole season we're talking to him anymore. He thinks the cousin's thing was a good idea. He brings home canoles to her, like two episodes back to back.

Yeah, he brings home a woman and offering a femininity. It's a bring home for her. It's male because he wants to have sex with her. I think canoles are inherently masculine. Yes. somebody busted inside of a penis. Well, hold on. No, the bus is inside the penis already.

Yes. It is like a, it's like a cream pie treat. Yes. And that's inherently manly to eat that. Yeah. I can. It's like, okay.

It's a masculine food. I think, the canoli? Yeah. It's full of your masculinity. It's a phallic shape of cream. There's literally nothing more masculine than some juice. Here, I'd like to share my masculinity with you.

Yeah. I mean, lasagna's are effeminate. Yes. If you split. Check it all my layers. What are you talking about? Check out all my layers. What are you saying about women right now?

That does not look like a masculine food. Like ogres? Women aren't complex with layers. Now let me ask you a question. You wear layers of clothing. You're layering, you got the knit and then you got the heavy with the scarf. Is this feminine or masculine? Feminine.

Okay, so lasagna. Falauna is feminine. Lazzania is a very effeminate dish. Lazzania contains the meat of a slain animal. And the fucking scarf of a woman. And layered between each layer of meat, bro. A canolae takes. the fucking milk.

You're not going to convince me that a canoli is more masculine than what I was on you. We need a Smosh food battle over this. Imagine eating a canoly in the cream bursting in your mouth. That's pretty massive. It's just a big phallic-shaped thing that you put. Smosh did this. That's true.

Bro, Smosh food, food, uh, is it food battle? 2009 maybe? It's, it's donut versus pizza. Is that what it was? It's like a formative memory for him. Oh my God. No, we were, we all remember that. We just got here so late. Without this, he just would have been a different guy.

Yeah. It was like a crucial... I swear they beat us. They just beat us to this, man. I mean, 2009. Did they argue on the masculinity of each? Maybe. Because that's what we're trying to get at here. He has a... He's putting a donut into a Nintendo 64 and turning out.

Oh my God, 2009. It's a... It's donut versus burrito? Yeah, this is different. This is savory versus sweet. I don't know what to tell you. This is different. This is fucking savory versus sweet, bro. And the two type of chuds who argue for each

side. To be honest, they're blowing on it and putting it in Nintendo. Blowing it and then putting it in the 64. The question is which one's a better video game? God, you don't understand fucking anything. Yeah, you're actually fucking I'm a fucking idiot. Dude, the donuts are bleeding. Okay, just to be clear, food battle was a yearly video and I got the year right. We not gonna fucking care. That's pretty good. I do shit like that all the time. You guys make fun of me for it. Yeah, because yours is like, ah, dude. This is what the third member of Guns and Rose's name was. Who fucking cares? For one, I hate guns and roses. Do not fuck with me on that.

I've been fucking sucks. Was it you? Sweet chattelma, we're like, this is the worst song ever made. I think so. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah. I think if we were talking about just how shitty that's stupid that stuff. That was the worst song ever made. That was it in Italy, in the Airbnb because I put, just put, I took my entire library of iPhone music,

which is like from my entire life. And then I put it on shuffle and then got in the shower. And then I've walked out. And then everybody was in the kitchen looking down the hall. And was like, were you playing sweet child of mine? We were walking around and like, give a lot with this fucking guy.

It was fucking weird. Back to the music thing. That's the worst fucking era of music. Whatever the fuck under the road is up. No, no, there's some fun ones. Like, round and round by a rat, that music video kicks ass. And I'm including the video.

Dude, this is what I'm talking about. What the fuck? You just pulled that out of nowhere. This is his free battle 2009. But it's like, can you pull it up and can we have a good time? But I'm not asking you guys to suck my dick about it. But we just can't, how do I jump in? Is what I'm saying.

I don't want to say it. make you guys watch a music video and I'm helping you by the man. He has value in the Normie Megazort with that information like that. I will never enter it. I have my own dragon. But you're lauded within Smosh is now Normie. Smosh is now. Smosh is now Normie stuff. I actually don't know

to use normie. This guy's most fucked up teeth but he still got to be a rock star. It's so sick. This is so they're having like this awesome dinner. This was the hottest girl we could find in this year as well. Yeah but they're in the attic bro. They're in the attic and she can hear them rocking.

dude this is such a dope-ass song the outfits are awesome it kind of knows how ridiculous it's being while I would argue guns and roses kind of took themselves too seriously see they put a big thing over a rat and they're going to serve the rat to the rich people eat the fucking rat you know what I'm saying this is dope as fuck and then yeah go

oh and she's gonna go is she gonna get really like scantily clad very soon in this music video is she gonna like just like yeah now he's like fucking fucking rocking out on the table And now she's like a, she's got like, she's got like, here it is. I called it. You called that shit. She's kidding. She goes upstairs to dress the way she actually wants to dress the whole. Well, actually it's kind of against her will. She's transforming.

This guy's dead missing his front teeth and he got to be a rock star. And you don't see his eyes like one of the kanker sisters. Oh my God. This looks like an AI video. These are like the beast games. They're trapped in the net. This is a great. Dude, okay, you guys got to watch.

It's a good song to you. You guys got to watch Beast games episode three. And let me explain to tell you what. Jeff Probes getting mugged the whole time by Mr. Bees. Episode four and not how it happened. Dude, he's getting mugged crazy. Wrong. He's getting mugged crazy.

Jeff is like, and in Survivor, we'd make you do this part, but we don't have to. And then Mr. Beast is like, yeah, we're going to do it the Beast games way. And then they don't do the Jeff Probes. And they do it. It's so fucking. Dude, he's mobbed. It's literally a mobging unlike any other mobging. I genuinely have zero respect for your interpretation.

of media because of the sentence. Go watch it. You'll see, bro. He watched it, but he's saying. Yeah, but I'm also saying and I also watch it. You have to watch it. Zipper, can you look up?

Jeff Probst? Mr. Beast, stop yelling. Yeah, I saw this clip. Mr. Beast gets up. Oh, my God. You're gonna cherry pick, he's higher up than you. He's higher up than you,

so I feel like he would. You're gonna cherry pick where he's like, you don't have to yell to get your point heard. And you can see the look in Beast's eyes where he almost turned into Beast.

The Feast. But you saw he spared his fucking life, dude. Play it, play it. Do you yell or do you normally just like, no? No, you know what I've noticed is when you're actually in control, you don't need to yell. Oh. And you know what? Oh.

When you're actually in control. He's literally taking out his fucking built up anger because one, he's on piece of on no nut for 13 years. You don't realize that. And two, fucking beast has been maugging him for two hours. Dude, you are... He's been getting... Jimmy asked him a genuine question, literally in good faith. And he goes, well, I think this when you're...

Seconds before that, Jimmy goes, all right, come on out! Yeah, commanding the room. And then... As the beast does. The beast commands the room. A beast commands his subject. Yeah, he has to go ahead. The lion does not speak quietly.

Do you understand? The lion rules. You watch that episode and you realize just the fucking skill that Jeff Probst has as a host, and Mr. Beasts, he's literally like goofy when you're playing Kingdom Hearts. Just standing around. He's just yelling. He's yelling a phrase after because Jeff's,

Jeff's fucking doing his thing. He's like, he's like, and you guys are fighting for your lives in here. You have to consider that. And Jimmy's like, oh my God. That's the whole thing. That's the whole episode.

Bro, the part where they had to hold on to fucking totem poles. And Jimmy's like, hey, for money, you can come down. And the kid's like, yeah. And he drops. Jeff is just disgusted, bro. It's like money you come down.

It's fucking survivor. Stay on the pole as long as you fucking can. And he walks the cheeseburger out. Are you fucking kidding? And he's like, who wants a cheeseburger? They're like, no, dude,

I want five million dollars. That's what Mr. Beas is offering. And you're offering me a cheeseburger. It was an ick, bro. Dude. Jeff tried to get them to come down from the polls worth fucking $1.8 million for a cheeseburger

because he thinks they're starving. The more I hear you talk to less and like, too Hollis. Like that's where it's like, I mean, this is 30 is realizing that you like Jeff Proops more than you like the authority The command of Mr. Bees. This is it. I mean, it's not even generational gap.

There's a genuine skill gap. Is it media literacy? Let me ask you a question. There's a massive skill gap. Mr. B says fucking keep your hand on the car, win the car, and it's a fucking McLaren. And then Jeff Proop comes out and says, or you could have a hot dog that I made it. And you wouldn't want it? And they're all confused why it's like the value difference between those two things. And they're like, no, but you're famous. And then eventually they go back to just staying on the fucking car. Is he being wronged?

Is he? Who got bogged in that scenario? I don't understand his obsession with this interaction. If you just watch the episode, you will see that basically Jeff Probst becomes the host of Beast games. I think Mr. Beast made him put a fucking vibrating egg in there

and it's in there the whole episode and only the beast can call it. You think so? Yes, dude. I'm actually, I'm actually sure. I hope your famous cousin's Jeff Probst and he puts one between the eyes. I hope my famous cousin's Jeff Probst too,

bro, that'd be high value. I hope you get fucking, I hope you get fucking... Phineas eyelash. Yeah, I hope you get fucking Billy fucking brother, bro. Whoever I get you guys dead because I'm the famous cousin now.

That's how it works. What if I got you? And we'd have to become, we'd have to learn to work together. That's a sitcom. Are you not famous enough to have your own cousin? No, I don't think so.

I don't think so. I think you're the floor. I can't be the famous. I'm the floor? What? No, that can't be the floor? No, he's more famous. Ooh.

Clay Aiken. Are you more famous than Clay Aiken? He's more famous, Ludwig is more famous than Clayakin. More people know Clay Aiken, but less people are... The Venn diagram is zero, for sure. There's no overlap. I think if we stood you side... There's overlap.

I was Gamer of the year. If we stood you side by side in public, more people would recognize you. Who knows about Gamer of the Year and Clay Akin? More people know Clay Akin's name through Pop Culture. Yeah, yeah, gay old queens. I'm a gamer. Okay, well, hey, leave a comment down below. Who do you think got mocked, Mr. Beast or Jeff Prost?

You guys got a lot of homework. Number one, have you ever been in love with your cousin? Number two, who got mott? Hogged harder. Jeff Probes or Mr. Bees. Well, before that, number one, who would you pick to be, if you could pick? You don't get to normally, but who would you pick to be your rich cousin? Have you ever been in love with your cousin? Who got mugged?

And then who would win the Savory versus Sweet battle in New Jersey? Only in New Jersey. Yes. You want this chair to be around forever. And that's number five. You guys got a lot of homework. Get to it now. And because Aiden will be reminding us to pick it up at the end of the day, even if the teacher forgot.

We also recorded the premium episodes. Because I did it. First this week. So it's got a lot of juice. It's pretty funny. You can listen to that in the Patreon. We talked about Tiberius 209, which is a little bit inside joke. Love it doesn't get it.

No, no, no laugh. Don't even, don't even bring up that. You were there. So I don't see how you. I'll give you a hit. I didn't understand it. It's not Tiberius. We'll see you in the Patreon.

It's not Tiberius. Or never again. Goodbye now.