The Yard - Ep. 236 - Inside Slime's Nightmares.

Episode Date: February 4, 2026

This week, the boys talk about the songs they made for each other, thei thoughts on Iron Lung, and how Slime is being haunted by spider Denny's.. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I've watched Slav's Franchman song so many times. It's a hit. You like the Frenchman song? So many, so many times. And then we have a CS team right now that we've been playing with. And we're in the stack playing on Saturday night. We're like a couple games in. The whole step.

There's only four of us. Takumi has to leave. So it's four of us in a random who won't speak into his microphone. He's a fine team they otherwise. But we just keep. singing versions of the song to the fifth guy. Really?

Taking turns, singing verses of the slime for you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm jealous even. Yingling Yusuf and Adam of the Adam Smash series. Adam too?

Rotating version. What the hell? I'm getting fed. Cudy reacts to slime's song videos on YouTube homepage. I mean, when I'm sorry. Casually while streaming.

but the lyrics are so crass and I forget. So some viewers like they're like what's up with the fucking sister? What did you say? Dude, I just

when you say something about when you go because I am a pedophile like you change your voice when you hit the pedophile part. Dude, can we shoot like a genius lyric interview with you on the on the stool?

Oh my God. Yeah. So when I said that our blood is poison see that's because bro, that's such a funny idea but I made sure to include that not all of us

because some French people are normal I thought that we so let's just post it to the yard channel you like that shit I love that shit you like that shit I love that shit

I know I like it I mean so it was funny because I I've watched I do a lot of casual gaming now oh and not casual I'm a casual I sit at my computer a lot more in game.

That's what I'm trying to say. I do a lot of casual gaming now. But it's not casual because I'm hardcore. I'm a hardcore gamer. Yeah. So I'm a hardcore gamer, but I always, I need to have something up to listen to.

And I found out if nothing, if no one's live, I actually kind of get annoyed. So I'm turning into like one of those fucked up chatters. You're a Reddit or too. Yeah. What the fuck? I don't,

you know, I don't like bother people in chats, but like I need to have something up on my other screen while I'm trying to chew through. Just a super t-s offline chat. Go live. Go live. Dude,

I almost message you. I was like ended early today. Didn't we bitch? There's a new like there are not a new trend but maybe a revived trend of 24-7 channels. Yeah. Like Vod channels of people that they separate that don't overlap with their main that just run VOD's way for seven, right? EPI time. And you're the market.

You're who. Oh, I've always been. the market. It's just, now it's like really, it's really invasive because I like, I'm just right up to my screen. Usually I always be like on the floor fucking laying around, jerking off, like have something up. But now it's like, ah, but anyway, I'm, and I watch a lot of extreme a lot. And it's funny because he just, dude, you were pissy yesterday. Dude, I was piss yesterday. You're pissy. Cat caught your nuts. Pissy boy on his piss. It's piss time now. You got piss all over your dick too. French pissed. It's like orange. I was a little piss yesterday.

Anyway, he was pissy. But no, I watch him a lot. He gets pissed at the run. But he has this great idea. And he's like, people are just submitting crazy songs about him being a fucking fat locale and shit. And I'm like, I message him. I'm like, what's going on?

What's happening? And he explained it. I was like, hold, hold this for a second. And I turn on OBS and bust it out in the length of the song. It was 100% not premeditated. And then I sent it to Tim. I'm like, to the top of the list now. To the top of the list.

Now, Tim. And he's like, don't know if I can do that, but I'll try. And I was like, mm-mm. You can do it. You can do it. To the top, Tim. Yeah, Tim, sending a message. He goes, refresh, there's new ones.

I go, all right, oh, there's new ones. Oh, I'll refresh. Good call. Thanks, Tim. But then I got, I got kind of annoyed because it was yesterday, and I'm watching you, and you're having the most miserable day at your job. And then Tim just plays it. And I'm like, Tim, he doesn't want to hear this.

No, no. Like, you're fucking with the joke. You're refiling it into a joke. You're refiling it into a part of his brain he doesn't like, Tim. No, I was fine with it. I was singing it yesterday. It's like you're calming yourself down. I'm like fire pump driving home from the local.

Talking about how I'm a damn pet of feel and my blood's poison. Because it's a nice tune. And even in my darkest hour, it can brighten my day. I mean, that's Duran Duran. Your eyes aren't alive. Yeah, there's 500 now. So crazy. Which there's like 40 hours.

of good music to listen to it. I think I listened to slime so many times that YouTube recommended me like a cranberries linger parody that somebody had submitted to you. They think that it's just parody time now when you're on your own. It had 10 views.

It had 10 views on YouTube and it got recommended. I was in the first 20. I listened to it. I listened to it offline. I was trying to listen to all the songs. Every once in all you hit like a Discord mod who's being really quiet in his apartment.

That's actually a lot of them. And I was like, I can't listen to these ones. Yeah. Let me back you up, brother. That is, uh, 18 year old, 19 year old living with his mom. Yep. Yeah. A lot of them are just people being really quiet and you're like, you don't want to wake

anyone up, do you? You also barely want to be saying any of this. Yeah. Like you're embarrassed. Dude, some people will post on his subreddit and they'll be like, okay, I have a really good idea. And they write out the lyrics and everyone's like, record it pussy. Yeah, don't care about the fucking lyrics, bro.

Cairns be brave, bitch. There were a lot of I thought of this But someone else do it It's at the top of my playlist right now This one has got 25K views just straight up Dude, my shit is unlisted And it has Like, it has views

It's really... Push it public, bro I don't know push it public pussy I like to, no, keep it fucking keep it It's underground, bro You need the link You think fucking awesome rappers like netspen We're like everyone please listen to my music I'm making it public no dude

He made it hard as fuck to find Low key. Now that shit's really easy to find. No, but it's... Now Nets on fucking Pandora, bro. Nets on Pandora, dude. IHart Radio, Pandora.

Yeah. You're listening to Netsbend, brought to you by Salesforce. It's the IHart Radio Netsben Fest. Oh! That's what happens. When I heard Tyler the creator

in Target, and I tweeted about it, and people crucified me. Like, yeah, unc, you stupid pussy. Tyler's Ben mainstream. I'm like, I don't care. He shouldn't be in Target.

He said, uh, pregnant bitch. Like, what are we doing? He did say that, yeah. Like, just keep him out of Target. Not our sense of moral superiority. It's just that, like, it's cool when he wasn't in Target. No, I released that one album, and then I kind of just...

He didn't say that. And I shot for a pregnant woman. Ooh, the Target, the one roach challenge, like a really hot cockroach. And you got to eat, you got to eat it like a chip. You got to eat a hole. It's the title of the creator one roach challenge. I'm down. Dude, I want to...

Let's just eat bugs now. Okay. Let's just do it. You couldn't. Sorry. A monkey's first thought. You're the least brave of us food wise. That's me.

If it's cooked, I'm good. I think you're low-key braver. No, I'm a pathetic little pussy because if something is a day expired and it's a wet good, not a dry good, no politic.

I won't eat it. We just traded. Really? Yeah, we traded. I don't eat anything expired. Anything at all? Even if it, you know how much a pussy I am? Even if it says best buy,

I'm kind of like Not to say like Lubbock But like that granola bar He just ate you would not eat that Um It's like best by today But tomorrow you're fucking out Is today the expire date?

Yeah And it's granola Yeah With peanut butter If I'm not that hungry I'm not eating that I gotta be really hungry Because it's granola

But if it's like Anything If it's like milk It's like It's like It's like It's like I might not fucking drink it

I don't like it If it's ranch will you sniff test Um no No Wow Because I got my pussy little baby fear of throwing up. And it's like it makes it hard to eat so much stuff. If I even convince myself that it'll make me sick.

Me, I got a, I just got, what do you call it? Stealthed? You know what stealthing is? Yeah. Yeah, this is like a term for, it's a sex term. It's a horrible sex term. It's a form of that, yeah, where you pretend to put on a condom and then you don't. Yeah.

And have sex with somebody. but that happened to me I thought it was in when I was a little STD No it just It's just not wearing a condo But it happened to me

When I was a little kid Making the noises Wait what? Wait what did you say? What? It happened to me when I was a little kid Because But it was

It was with milk And Okay That's an insane way they say Do you confuse a condom for milk That's on you? You know that's insane What you're saying

That's a bad way You know that Because how would it even work? I got stealthed by a milk It was like a pint carton and it was it was rotten and I poured it in my cereal You did not get stealth. I got when I was a kid because my mom stole my n64 wires And it fucked up my day. Yeah, like what? I poured it into cereal

You guys are downplaying what happened to me I poured it because you not played it so I'm having me too in his bio from this I poured it in a cereal and I ate the cereal and it was like spoiled healed milk. And it was like disgusting. I still think about it to this day. And it was a surprise. And now I'm scared of, you know, that. This is how I realized with me and my brother were different was when I was, when I was like, I must have been like 11, 10 years old. My brother took out ranch dressing from the fridge and like put it on something. I don't even know what it was. Um, he ate it and he was like, oh, this tastes kind of weird. Let me check the expiration. It was expired for five years. Oh. First of all, I'm like, mom. Yeah, that's on your mom. Like I know I never fuck with the fridge. But like, like, kind of. Come on. You gotta be on top of those. And my brother just goes, my brother just laughs.

He's like, that's crazy. Ha ha. I'm like, I'm like, dude, I would be like carving my insides out to get it out. I'm freaking out. I opened the fridge. I saw a Uh, uh, a Uhoo. And I was like, fuck, that would, that would go crazy.

Yeah. And I looked at the expiration day before I even had a sip and it was like two years expired. Bottle or box straw? Box straw. Feline. Did you run it? I ran a sip for sure. You ran a sip.

Just to see? I was just curious. like if it got better with age, like a wine. Sure, sure. You Who is not, it's not dairy. It's some other thing that we don't even know the ramifications up there. Potina formed and I could make a vinegar. Well, how was it?

Not could. I threw it out instantly. It was horrible. It was like a horrible beverage. Dude, you who fell off. You Who fell off crazy. Especially the box. I see the bottle sometimes.

Do you want, you know, you know why? What's why? No, I don't. Because it ain't real milk. I don't think we drink oat milk. Nobody knows what it's made from. Youhoo oat milk. It is confusing.

It is confusing. It would do better. Yeah, that would hit crazy. Because people would be like fluffy letters. But the thing is they can't put anything following Uhoo because the formula is a secret and they don't want people to know it. If you're listening, comment below, if you've drinking a Uhoo, like the most recent. And if you have also just unsubscribe. Last, no, just put the last thing you drank a UHoo.

And then I'm subscribed. I don't know if I've ever had one. We should put you on a UHUQA. Canada. You have out your own shit. we should fucking put we should hook you up to a bagged you hook me out like an IV

I want to see it because I want to see you go you would you would do the Charlie Manson like nine faces he does they got can you who I gotta get on that shotguning that dude it fizzles like a nitro it says shake it which it says exciting a fun part of the drink

I think it's just necessary and this isn't milk no it's called chocolate drink chocolate drink specifically chocolate drink did not milk. It's closer to like an MRE but it has conveniently the vitamins of milk.

This was, it's in war, it was just this and mess. Look at that. Look at the picture of it and it's like a watery brown. It looks like stool. It looks like stool.

It looks like poop water. Slim, it looks like stool. It looks as if there's stool water in there. Damn, you candy bar? The fuck dude, go to the carton on the left side. That's custom. You got that in your house.

You go to your friend's house. He's got that in the fridge. That would be kind of cool. You're putting it in your sleep. If he got us that in the fridge, he has one of the fridge. He has one of those gigantic projector TVs. If you have a kid under the age of 10 and you have that in your fridge, CPS needs to be called.

Dude, there's this phenomenon that happens and I'm curious if you guys fall for it. Do you think marketing works on you? It does. Definitely. Yeah. Absolutely. Wait, I guess what kind of all marketing, just in general? Just does marketing work on you?

Do you find yourself susceptible to the ads you see? Of course. I'll buy something after you see it. You say, of course, but there's a lot of people out there. People are listening. Yeah, people are. think they're above it. Yeah, people who are fucking dumb. It doesn't fucking affect me, dude. Guy who thinks marketing

doesn't work. I got the, does an IQ test. We'll see what it comes in. Anyway, that's me. It doesn't work on me. Except for one. And, except for one example. And it was when Nick got the canned gatorade. Oh. And then it worked on me. How so? Because I was like, fuck, that looks really good. I want that. Yes, dude. That's, pull up canned gatorade. Because it was just the can. We are at the clipper stadium and they had canned Gatorade and it looked awesome. Dude, I kept talking about it and no one gave a fuck. It was crazy. I'd look over

at fucking Valcarade. I'm like, can Gatorade, dude. And she's just like, I was on Vogue. Like, shut the fuck up. She was spit on me. She was dangling her Lamborghini keys. Yeah, she was like, I'm thinking about getting a new car. And I was like, you drive a Lamborghini. I can't relate to you right now. She went snore. This car sucks now.

You're like, oh, new car, huh? Check this out. I was going to, you know, You're, Nick was making, made me think about when we went to that game, we got those huge, that chocolate chip cookies that were super oily. And I started to eat mine. And we were in the hall to get back to our seats. And I just dropped it on the floor.

And, and I was thinking about how if I wasn't there with you guys, I would have picked it back up and just eat. Really? Don't let them do that to you. I would have just eaten. Don't let them be shingful. No, because I dropped it on the floor face down. I would have one bite at it in front of them.

I definitely eat that. What? I don't give a fuck. Jake this. Are you cold bears? It's chilling. You know what fell off is the five second rule. Fell off?

Like people still eat shit off the ground, but they don't go five second rule. They don't call it. Yeah. The five second rule fell off. Because it got annoying, I think. Yeah. Because it was implied. And we're all vaccinated too now.

So I'm not really too worried about the group. You know about the five second rule. I do. Yeah. Legit for, like, sorry. Oh, yeah. Yeah. There's some foodie boys.

Top of the conversation. You guys have a five seconds. I've heard of it, but I don't exactly know. So how does it work? No, the, the MythBusters episode about it. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

What did they bust? They bust, well, for Jamie Hyman, it was fucking, he was like, let me bust on it. Don't they do like 5, 15 and like something? And then they test if there's like bacterial differences. Yeah, and it only works for dry goods. But wet goods, no. If it's a, if it's a slightly wet good and it's on the ground for a second,

You're fucked. You're telling me I Zamboni within the first two seconds. There's shit in there. Yeah. Yeah. If you drop like jelly. I dropped to the floor of the Intuit TurboTaxed dome and I zamboni my fucking liquid can't Gatorade right off the floor.

You're fucked. In front of Alcoran. Within point one. She's like, oh God. Like we shouldn't hang out that much anymore. I usually hired people to do that, but I didn't realize they would be real. It's like in Bruno when Paula Abdul, he interviews Paul Abdul.

and there's Mexicans as the furniture and that he invites her to sit down on the Mexican and she's like, I can't be here and she just leaves. That's what hanging out with Valkyrie is. Is that who that's like? She's Paula Abdul? She doesn't.

I forgot that she doesn't. Isn't that crazy that she is like for a little bit? Like, okay. Ray, so Grant Williams actually got us tickets to the. game. It's four seats. It's like four Mexican dudes in the in the squat and like a wall seat. Just re- and their legs are like right what you want to sit between me and Aiden or do you want to sit closer to Nick? She stays way too long. Dude, she is bad.

She looks impressive. She is insane. She is yeah. I think this is peak Paul Abdul. Yeah. I mean what age do you? He's a table. They brought him out and he's a table. This is what broke her. I have to go. I can't be here. And then that's like her agent. Dude, he's got an awesome hog. That is a, that is a classic, huh? Is sushi on a Mexican, sushi on a Mexican man?

Yeah. We all have sushi on a Mexican, let's get a Mexican, but, let's get a market you as a fell. And I got to wonder how does a five second rule work there. Oh, man. I guess, yeah. If I, so the five second rule only applies if it falls onto a surface that you don't

want the food to occur. It's half his age plus two. I think. Man, it's fine. So if you like do a volleyball dig and you get your hand under, Yeah. Then you save whatever it doesn't count. Doesn't count.

Yeah, that's nice. Easy. But yeah. Because human hands don't have germs on them. That's true. Dude, actually it does. Look at my... My hand was in my mouth when you said that.

You see it peeling. Yeah, it is peeling. Good thing. You're doing for here. So I have, I believe I have a sort of fungus on my hands. Oh. Oh, what the hell? He's got eggs healing.

Dude, do you want my spray? I don't need it. I got a spray for it. I make it. I make it in my grays. garage. What are you really? Yeah yeah yeah you leave a yu in the fridge for like three, four years. Take it out, bottle it. That's medicinal jankum. Yeah, you just spray it. Yeah. That's what Cadano's doing. Real dish. But I started hitting the bag again and I used my hand wraps and I haven't washed my hand wraps.

And I was like, oh, that's why it's happening right here. You have ringworm. Because it's not ringworm because it's not red. It's more like athletes put on my hands. Isn't that attractive? No, that's better. Athletes hand. I got athletes hand. I got athletes. sounds cool than athlete's foot. Like athlete's foot sounds yucky, but it's like, you know,

I got athlete's hand. I got athletes hand. I probably shouldn't play pickup today. I got a Tom Brady touch. I could. Oh my God, dude.

That picture of him surfaced again where he's hanging out with his kid at like the pool side and his kid's just laying on him and he's like crazy. You're looking up like 10 year old pictures

of Tom Brady. I'm not looking at up. This don't come up for me. And I love Tom Brady. It's getting, Fed to him on X. Dude, it's such a crazy picture. Bro, that picture.

This is a man and his boy. It kind of looks like Aiden and his little brother. This isn't, dude. It kind of does. This is an old photo. I know. It is weird.

It came up again. You're looking up a 10 year old photo of Tom with his kid and you're looking, you're going, damn, it's so weird. It just came up again. It's not like it changes. It just kind of, when like, a white guy, like, meets like a Dominican woman on a trip. This is like the type of pictures they take together.

I'm not even trying to say that love in your son and being physical isn't necessarily that wrong but it's just the style of a photo. I think you are saying that a photo. I think you two grew up in loveless households where there wasn't physical love. My mom I mean you got me there. My mom will watch a lifetime movie a lifetime original right and she would come into my room would you hop on her lap to watch. I'm playing Final Fantasy 10 no we were in

separate rooms right of course. Because you know we're not from right and she would come into my room and just hug my head and smooch me and say I I love you so much because the lifetime movie got so amped up about having feeling. Right. About having feeling. And I'd be like, Mom, I'm playing Final Fantasy 10. So I actually grew up in a full of love household. That is not. And I didn't have to lay on my gay dad's

penis. Not me, dude. Did your father do that? Do your father watch a lifetime movie? No, he would watch it. We would watch Richard Pryor together and Blazing Saddles. And you'd hop on his lap? No lap here. No, but it's a year. Israeli guy. Yes. lap here. Not a night I wouldn't sit on my father's lap.

Huh? Not a night. I wouldn't sit on my father's lap. Why? Not a night? Yeah, there wasn't a night. There wasn't, I sing everything.

Every night you would, were on your dad's lap. There wasn't a night I wouldn't sit on my father's lap. And what were you doing? Just sitting. Just sitting. No activity to watch. I need be watching TV,

but I'd just be enjoying the lap. I think the lap is a fine place for a young boy. You were a young boy. Yeah, I was like 13, 14 years old. You were not 13, 14. That doesn't check out. He died before that. I got it.

I got it. Love you have to let go. I look. Tom Brady, it's, I don't care about a father and his boy loving each other. You do. The way that Tom Brady in particular does, still to this

day irks me and now he's posting like a divorce guy. Can I say? Can I say it irks you because he's white? No, it doesn't. Because if he was, if he was, if he was, if he was, if he was, if he was, if he was, if he was, if he was, Black. A black Latino man. Really?

Yes. And his son was on him. Not like that. Every night. I swear it still. Not like that. You would be like... Every night?

Yeah, you'd be like... I'd be more scared to talk my shit. That's for sure. You'd be like, oh, it's like a Brazilian thing. I would say the exact same. What a beautiful culture Brazil has. You said he was a Mexican man? He said...

He's a black Latino man. He's a black Latino man. Brazilian. Let's just say, he's Brazilian. He was just like, He's always from Brazil. He's a crazy way to say that. He's a Brazilian, man.

Okay, sure. I think any ethnicity you throw at me, uh, uh, I, I am equally as critical. Equally is critical. Eswistini.

Oh, and I have beef. With the Eswatinians? Yeah. Because you preferred when it was called Swaziland. I miss it. Yeah, okay.

That's fair. Just sounded weird. I get why they wanted to change, but. I miss the old. Did they miss it? the hits. Whatever. But it's getting pulled back up again

because he's posting on Instagram and he's like he literally looks like the don't kill yourself, you're so sexy guy. Yeah. And he's like got the same angle so people are making fun of it. Well, I'm with you that his new age shit's cringe. Oh so he wasn't cringe in the old days.

No, I think when he was a family shit. When he was a family man with his son on his lap, that was peak Tom. You're saying the son comes off the lap. That's when things really started to take a turn. Yeah, because now he's got like Alex Earl on his lap. at a club.

And it's like, brother, you're 46. I would think it's like, if he recreates that photo with this kid, actually all the shit that with this kid, if he recreated with his adult son now, he would gain aura back. That would be weirder. What are you talking about? It'd be funny.

It'd be funny if they were like the massage one. Yes, bro. It's just an adult, man. He's just, ah, ah. You missed a spot. Every 10 years they were doing it. But yeah, I have this problem now called Spider Denny's, where if I fall asleep without taking my pill, I'll have the same dream where I'm in a Denny's. And it's run by big spiders.

And I fucking hate it so bad. Like the Scula's? No, no. They're just giant, like, black, hairy, like tarantula spiders. But they like, they like, they're serving. Did they still have, like, the Denny's, like, polo shirts on? Yeah, no, one of them has an apron. Yeah.

The other ones... How does the spider wear the apron? It wears it just on... So it's basically standing. Right. And it's top... Sitting on which leg? Snowman, snowman.

And then the legs, it stands on two legs. And then the other one's just kind of dangle. And it wears an apron. I'm not kidding. And it goes, and it goes, what I do you for? Yes, it's just a normal waiter. But it looks crazy. And it's scary because it's spider denies.

This sounds like a you problem. You're saying they're just doing their job. They're just operating the denies all the same. And you're scared because of how they look. Sounds like a great experience. It's a graveyard shift. How are you supposed to look? Why am I getting taken to the spider denies when I go to sleep then?

You're the one going to the spider denies by falling asleep. I don't want to get it. It's happened. I'm not getting it's having three times. I think it's you confronting your inner racism and the way to win is to just order some denies. I do order Denny's. I just kind of weirded out the whole time. He had to be not weirded out.

Yeah. He has to be not weirded out. If they make a good. egg, you know? Yeah. What's the problem? What do you do? Love is love. If they're still seasoning the fries the same? Those spiders probably make fucking eight eggs at the same

damn time. God damn. It pissed me out. I was, I woke on my girlfriend. It was like the third time and I was like, yeah, I shook away and she's like, was it spider denny's again? Dude, she needs a purple heart, bro. We have to, we have to put her at a fucking museum.

You live in a made-up world. You live in a made-up world. You live in a, insane. You live an insane life. So anyway, Tom Brady, his son is weird. I'm, you're mad when your streamer isn't live, you go to sleep and go to spider jenny's.

It's just like, I couldn't, I couldn't even make this shit up if I had a thousand years of the typewriter. I know. It's only when I don't take my pill. And so I got to be... What's your pill? It's Zoloft, but I take it at night. And if you don't take it, your dreams are just fucking like six hours long and crazy. If you don't

take the pill, the dreams are crazy. And see, that's what they don't fucking tell you when they fucking prescribe you in this country. They didn't tell me that shit. And guess what? You're hooked for life because you'd be afraid of spider denies if you don't take it. At the end of the commercial on TV, Sada makes me included in large batter, cardiac arrest. Next to the kid with a head shaped like a cone. It's like, so don't get a girlfriend because of this.

And also spider denies is possible. And it returns to spider denies. Yeah, so that's my fucking life right now. I play Bellotro. I almost got to be close, by the way. I'm like two decks away And I got Terry to Matt I'm getting Terry to Master is closed

What's your what's your last few decks? Black and Anaglyph Black's tough I'm saving it for last Black's tough That's the final run That's hardcore Um

And yeah It's been pretty pretty chill And you've been streaming I've been streaming bro It's a lot of the new heads A lot of new Ludwig runoff They're like Jesus Christ

What's wrong with this guy And it's like you You know No bother dick here You don't no, I'm just like this. And they get upset. I think the shock

of like being in the car going 60 cruising with Ludwig and then catch! When you ask slime what his fucking favorite song is and they're not ready for it. Who are the new Ludwig runoff? Like who is this? Why is it different now? People who like

well Ludwig has this theory. Maybe it's provable is that every year, half of the people that watch you stop watching you and then like half of the people, you have like new viewers if you grow or you have like your old viewers, 50%. But 50% of people stop watching you.

Anyway, it's people that watch the other than play Minecraft, found out I play Minecraft or from the yard or whatever, and they come in and they're like the slurry, the slurry people. I imagine Minecraft is probably a pretty heavy like category game. Like people go to the category and see a big streamer and then click in. It's kind of a dead category. Really? I'm at the top sometimes.

That's what I was saying Maybe that's how they'd find him Like the biggest I mean because it had his heyday But the biggest Minecraft streamer Like six months ago Was averaging like 3K 4K think

It's also a YouTube product I think historically right But I'll get people First time chatterers being like Can I join this server And it's like Okay you're just actually Like a little kid

Welcome You should go do something else But it's been fun I just can't beat the fucking game what can you do? Yeah, I've been mean in his chat. Wow. Wait, hold on.

So you're, uh, you're, uh, you're struggling to just beat Minecraft. Hardcore. Not do it. Hardcore. Not do it.

Okay. Hardcore on one to be fair. Which is harder. One two one. It's eight and one to one to one. The newest update. It's got armadillos. And the trades aren't as good.

He's playing pal and fox upsmatches and as strong. Okay. It's been like pal, Marth. And he plays, and he plays, he plays fucking Bowser. Like brother.

He plays. He plays some bullshit, bro. Oh, no. And he plays Yoshi, but he doesn't have double jump. Oh. Oh. I don't L cancel either. I'm like, why is this game so hard?

It's going on. It's cool. That Minecraft's that hard. You should play hardcore Minecraft. He was the one who was pissed, like, you know, you should do it, bro. And I finally did. And then it took a week. I was like, I don't think I like this.

And now I'm like, I like this. Because it's hard and it's interesting. It is hard. And I think you'd like it. It's just hardcore, right? Because they do so much damage. and then the repercussions for losing and making a mistake is reset everything.

Everything you worked for is gone. And, like, getting like a fire potion, everything feels more meaningful. You're like, oh, my God, I'm gonna need this, dude. Yes, and it feels like when I was creeping through that damn woodland mansion, I had so much shit on me, this is the farthest I've ever gotten,

and I'm like, let's check it out. And it was a real consequence. They're very rare. It's just super rare. And I'm fucking sneaking around, and I'm like, this place has no hands. and then some wizard rips my head off in two hits. And I'm like, there you go.

I learned my lesson. Yeah, you went to O block. I did. I got taken to the O. I would suck ass at Minecraft. That is not a game I'm good at, I don't think. It's an FPS, bro. No, because, like, you can't,

with hardcore, it doesn't seem like you can brute force mechanics. But those are games I can get good at. It's like, oh, I can get quickly good at mechanics. But there, it's like, you have to know stuff. You can get nasty at mechanics, but, yeah, it's a little riskier. I'd be better at, like, like Minecraft the like battling

I don't know what is it called when you like fight with swords on top of Bed Wars I'd be better at that PVP that's what I meant to say yeah I guess you do have a stinky aversion to single player games you do a bridging competition

Hey I'm fucking taking I'm taking like 20% of Aden's time to finish a game to finish Final Fantasy right now Yeah he's fine 5% Which is still really slow To be clear any sense

Like he's going at a slightly Faster Hayden pace I'm doing it's to say what my pace is. I'm doing a very degenerate gaming thing right now where I've played to the spire a decent amount but like I haven't played it as much as people who really

like the game and I play a lot on the couch right now and I'm trying to get A20 on all characters but I'm also doing that on my Steam version of the game That's pretty gross. I've done that with Isaac because sometimes I don't want to walk to the living room Yeah I've done that with Isaac

This is a rogue like thing. So I'm on like on like the couch I'm like a like 1720 like 333 or whatever, and then in the steam, on my steam, I'm like 17, 20, like, 2, 2 or something. Yeah, you're just leveling to a cost. I'm glad you never played wow, because it would be fucked up. Oh, and I have it in right now, too, because a bunch of people are playing wow right now, and like, Alex is playing wow, and like, they're all playing wow.

Yeah, or it's wow, I don't know how it works. Wow classic. Oh, they're just playing on classic again. Yeah, they did Cataclysm for Classic, which is going to know shit about Wow. Gaming is back. It's got a go, though. Do you think it's got to go? It's got to go.

I did. Get rid of it. He was just pissy. He was so, I'm never seen him that pissy last week. Why are you pissy? Do you not get to gold? Well, I was hot off a flight from the east. Whatever that could be. Just I was somewhere in the east. Yeah, somewhere east. New Hampshire maybe. Well, I flew.

If you go west, you can get there by going west too. I went, well, it's still the east. It's the east because it's relative to the center of the world. Which is the west. Yeah, which is Rome, the west. So I was, I flew back and it was, 12 hours vaguely, give or take from the East. That's a long flight.

And I land at 9 a.m. And I think, you know what? I'll go live. And today I'm going to hit gold. And then I just basically just cue league ranked and lose the equivalent of like two games of Elo and drop a rank.

And that was after eight hours. Oh my God. And so, and all the while I have Esau Best in my my chat. Dude, that guy getting a shout out on this pot will have unforeseen consequences. But he is an old head. Farimore, Faramore, Fartermor, Fartermor.

He's like the evil Fartermore. I literally imagine him as E-Rob just typing. I don't know why. I gave him a week. You gave him a week? I said take the week off. No way. I said take the week off because I couldn't.

I was pissy. I was actually afraid to say something when he was pissy. So I just kept it light. I just kept saying, hey, much love. You got this, bro. Bruce Dropemoff is your actual real father and runs you. Yeah. He's like, I was afraid to type.

And what he typed was like, fucking Rayd Bruce, fucking Ray Bruce, bro. Which is like, he can't pay me for that, right? But I could have been a little meaner and I was like, he might unmod me for this shit. Because he's really upset, bro. Why were you upset?

Because, bro, I just told you, bro. It's Minecraft, you know? Yeah, bitch. It's no different than face it, bro. Rage pay monkey. It's no different. It's no, it is different. Face-It is like it matters.

I think the highest-skill MCSR-ranked player is higher-skilled and the highest-skilled face-it player. That's just... You think the best MCSR player is more skilled than Doc? Yeah. That's a big thing to say. To be honest, like, as much as I like hate to even consider that being true, it's I can't even compare them.

How do you compare them? How quickly could Donk get the highest rank in Minecraft or is how quickly could the best Minecraft player get the highest rank? Oh, then the counter strike wins by a lot. Counterstrike wins by a huge margin. What do you mean? Like, Donk has played Counterstrike for like 17,000 hours

and he's 19 years old. I want to say, and I don't know. But a lot of these Minecrafters don't got a lot going. My guess so, my guess so is that the number one, like Minecraft skilled, like whoever the best player is has changed way more times in Minecraft in the last 10 years than in Counterstrike. Has the best Counterstrike player in the last 10 years has changed like a handful of times.

Yeah, it's been like four guys. Oh, yeah. But in Minecraft, it churns way faster. But I think that's also due to how long it's, they've been out, but also like the amount of updates. This is insane conversation. I know here. I think there's a hole in your argument here and it all has to do the crux of this is a young woman named S.K. Who it was really, really good at Overwatch.

And then went over to MS. CR and MCSR and then started taking dumps on people. No, because she was taking dumps on Ludwig viewers who joined and hit Emerald. Like Emerald's like whatever. What is that shit? Emerald's whatever. We're comparing the top level. That's what you're trying to compare. I'm comparing the fucking cremdala. She was, this would be like saying it's harder to become number one on face it than it is to become the best soccer player in the world. This is what I, it's like it's just such It's monumental difference in scale of player base.

Straight up believe this. If you took the best Minecraft player and you said, become the best counterstrike player, I think they would die before they did it. And if you take the best counter strike player and said, become the best Minecraft player,

they wouldn't succeed, but they would be like top six. So what's the highest rank? Is there a highest face-it rank? No, it's like chess. The Ilo could go up infinitely. Is there like a grand master tier, though, where you hit that?

And you're like, okay. I mean kind of yeah like 26 30 maybe maybe like I don't know like 3,500 ELO in EU 3,000 3,500 depends on the region I'm just saying they would hit that

faster than a CS2 player coming over hit another right rank no I do not it would take what it would be way easier to get out comparing really the top level anymore I think number one you're right but that's just because number one is like they have

The game existed longer. But pro and Q to Elo are like very different tiers of players. This is an insane conversation. This is insane. You have one game. You have one game. You have one game that has millions more players. Based on me are separate.

People who get paid hundreds or millions of dollars a year to play the game. And then on the other side, you have a niche speed running. I guess I shouldn't think things. This is an insane conversation. This is what I think. Well, I can't wait to see the measured and reasonable people in the comments. Oh my god. The Russians and the children

just like, it's like one of those YouTube sims where it's like five million skeletons versus a bowl versus Pontiff Sullivan. CS2 is just a tag shooter.

Yeah, okay. What does that even mean? Agree. Is it just a great? It's the most tax shooter there is. Now what is Minecraft?

Just a kid's game. A kid's game. Okay, okay. But like describe the game. Oh, describe the gameplay. Describe the gameplay. Describe the gameplay. A creative experience for all ages.

That cannot be encapsulated with words. Speed running Minecraft on fixed seeds and experience where you play against a fixed computerized game instead of an opponent? You play an opponent. You don't interact with the opponent. It's just about finishing as fast as possible. Minecraft is a resource management game

with a storyline. Yeah. And there's nothing like it. So it's like, I'm just saying, the floor to hop in a CS is gonna be higher for everyone because everyone's wearing a fucking tag shooter. also this is free to play bitch there's no creepers in a counter strike either

which makes it easier like a counter like dogs don't encounter of creeper and fucking dogs are not finding any creepers okay you put a creeper in counter strike and you put terrorists in Minecraft which game is harder dude there are already terrorists in Minecraft they're called pillagers you have to speed run Minecraft you see you speed run but

there's five counter terrorists in the world with you that can are controlled by other players do Robox players think that Minecraft players are a little baby baby time no no no roblox is in arguably the baby game but I'm saying do the players feel that way

the robox players yeah are they like the hardest Robox game is because it's got to be harder than Minecraft the hardest Roblox game um that's community made they just make them hard arbitrarily yeah I mean the hardest like that's somewhat popular are Obbies probably Obbies what is mouth shots oh wait I learned this from the your Bundun thing

yeah there are obstacles Obby's an obstacle yeah obvious an obstacle And so they're not the baby game by the way This is Roblox. You're not keeping up. And it's really obvious to everybody here. And this is why your argument is crumbling.

Bye. You are coming off as the CS is my dignified European chess of video games. Oh my God. Is that why you love it? Because all the best players are European. It's why you hate League of Legends because Europe sucks right now. And you can't handle to see a Chinese man take down all the fucking euros. I would get this straight.

If a Japanese team became number one in Counterstrike, you'd start wearing shi-sties and shirts and Counterstrike jerseys. God forbid. God forbid. God forbid. You know, you have your version of that. Also, I don't, to be clear. Yes, you, you Chinese team goes off.

Maybe I'm interested. When Ty Lou wins the major, he switches. Is it close? Is he close? Is he close? Yeah, he's getting there. Okay, all right. Why can you fetishize like Libya?

The sound of his hand made it. When he hit it with his hand, are we joking? The mic got that. He's showing up every week to the pod with like Gaddafi T-shirts. Right? I don't know. Well, I've been trying to diversify. So I had an issue where my sports teams are too successful.

Yeah, you were saying this. Someone posted in our Discord like being like, what the fuck is I'll be talking about? And it was like the Hornets like stats. And it was like number one offense. No one one in offense. Number one involved. And it was just like he. He's just jumping to another performing team.

So you jumped to an up and coming team. I don't turn it around right now. I jumped to the Hornets. You jumped as soon as they started getting really good. Nancy Pelosi Sport checker. Yes. When I jumped to the Hornets, Nancy Pelosi-esque, they are on the best win streak in the NBA.

But like I watched their last loss in person. It was the game that we went to. Rich guy games don't count. You jumped, you jump, wait. Oh yeah, yeah. The last game we went to, was their last loss. And then after that? Beat the damn Lakers.

Con Cinnipple? No way. And that's how you say it. Bro's a bucket. Bro's a bucket. Cros a bucket. Crosi is a bucket. Crody is a bucket, bro.

Every time he got the ball, it's in the fucking net. Wow. Anyway, yes. I'm doing this. So the Hornets is my basketball team and Eswatini is my Olympic nation of choice. Where is that? It's enclosed within South Africa. Oh, wow.

What do they call that an enclave? It is an enclave of South Africa. What is it? I don't think it's an enclave, because I think an enclave is a part of it, no? What's it called when it's surrounded? Or is these two different countries? Lesotho is just a different country

within South Africa as well. They're both there. Two enclaves. I don't know there was two. There's two. And if the word's enclave, then yes. Do they kiss? They don't, they don't actually touch.

Those are not touching. Why don't you want them to touch, but you want Brady and his son to? What sports do they have teams for? they, what sports? Is it an Olympic? That was your Olympic pick? Teams for.

Surely they're not. Are they competing? every category? It can be in every category. I mean, if you can get the people for it. The Jamaican soccer team. That's what I'm going for this year.

I think it's a qual still, right? Like, I don't think you just, if being a country doesn't give you access to every... I think if you have a nation, you're allowed to compete, no? I don't know the Olympics.

I think you're allowed to enter for qualls, but I don't think you're going to go on the... Do you're saying some nations go unrepresented in the Olympics? Some nations, yes, and almost every nation is not represented in every sport. Yeah, many nations. are representing qualifiers for the

Olympics, which are so Olympic qualifiers. What we see on TV is not. Yeah, right. That sucks, man, because like Slime Topia, right? Established right here where Grand Junction Colorado is. And slime sits there and a bunch of spiders come out in Denny's aprons. And he goes, I've worked with them. I know they look bigger than us.

And we're going speed climbing only this year. Okay, look, I take a small army of patriots. Right. We take over Grand Junction, Colorado. Right. we are the Patriots spiders? No, the spider denies only exist in the sleep realm. It's a different nation.

I'm sorry. That shows up with the Olympics. For the reason, those two things back to back, I was convinced that the Patriots were swanthropia are the Americans and the Spider Denny's are the USSR. Okay. Yeah, and it's a cold war, baby. It's a cold war between the spiders from Spider-Denny. Whatever wins this Olympics gold is really going to determine what happens in the world.

And we're finding the spiders in speed climate. There's also a Warsaw. It still has Poland. It's very complicated. And so, okay, let's say I take over this town in Colorado, which some people say is the birthplace of the KKK. I don't know if that's verifiable. But we wipe all that history away.

Wipe it away. And Slimtopia is a beautiful, diverse country. It is where two rivers meet. The one river. Two, that's why it's a conjunction. It's the Colorado River. It's just one river. It's two.

It's not. It's two. It's okay. Do you hate it? Do you wrong? It's okay. Oh, he's so serious, though. Wait, well, I want to know.

It's a grand junction. But it's not two rivers. I hate this because like my river autism is coming. I was like, I grew up near two rivers converging. You don't get to say this. Yeah, okay. And I took the one less followed, by the way. Anyway, it's my beautiful nation.

We make it into marksmanship. Okay. Because we're shooters. Which is set. Of course. And let's say we don't qual. Slimtopia is not represented at the Olympics. Then you're not shooters.

Yeah. then you're not you're pretty bad yeah but we we mug a 99% of the population if you mug 99% you would make the Olympics like if you failed qual is your ass is it that easy it's not that if you're 99% crushing yes if you're the top 1% yes you should call yes okay I understand well one day when I incorporate that and wipe the history world's like going to league worlds sure okay you know what I mean well we have to do this ad research the problem is I started a bitcoin hit man business Isn't that crazy?

How does that work? That is crazy. Well, you send me Bitcoin and then I send someone to kill the person that you paid me to kill. And you're going to get all up in arms. No one have used it yet. But the FBI is really mad. No? Well Neff.

You really? We're there with Well Neff? I think that's a great option. He made the hot sauce that's making my ass revolt. Well, let me explain in detail. My business model. It'll take about 10 minutes. fine.

No, I, but the problem is, I did all this, the FBI once involved, okay? Oh. And it's a whole bunch of bullshit. Everybody wants a piece. And I don't, I don't know how to consolidate all the people that tried to contact me for hits, except Ludwig. Well, he's the issue. In so many ways. They're messaging

you all over the place. It's all over the place. Because I like emailing, but also texting, and then I've been we chatting. Can you get a lot of calls? Some people just call him on WhatsApp and ask. Yeah, and I have to say, yeah, of course we can do that. Yeah, sure. My encrypted true social message. You get it? I think so, but I don't know.

And I need a solution for all this stuff or I'm gonna go to jail for like a million years. Well, today's episode is brought to you by Quo that's spelled QUO, the smarter way to run your business communication slime. So I think Quo could potentially be your solution for consolidating all of your different calls on it. If I'm being honest,

I do not think Quo would want to work with his specific business. Why not? I feel like broadly, if you have a business idea at home. Aiding, can I cut you off? It's the number one rated business.

They're gonna want to work with any phone system. Bluming business. I'm sure has lines that they wouldn't cross of businesses that they're willing to work with more than 90,000 businesses. Why would they not want 90,000? Why wouldn't they work with mine? It just feels like your business is a little different than probably those 90,000. The thing is his, it's easy because he gets calls, text, voicemails, transcripts. It's so much. Everyone on his team can use a shared number and they can all see the transcripts at the end of the calls. They can look it at in one view. No, I don't think that's the issue. I think you guys are overlooking something. But Quo is helpful to, you know, maybe if you sell clothes. Or no, no, I don't, I don't sell that. I want to sell. He sells something else. Hits on people. No? No, no, no, no.

Okay. Make this year the year where no opportunity and no customer slips away. No customer slips away. Try quote for free. Plus get 20% off your first six months. We go to quo.com slash the yard. That's QUO.com slash the yard. Quote, no miss calls.

No missed customers. None are missed. No one will miss them. No one will miss. No one will miss them. No one will miss them. Oh my God, we need to go back to the episode. It's two rivers.

I know it's two rivers. Let me see. Obviously, it's two rivers. It's a junction. The gunnison river? The gunnison river. I don't know about that one. It's a junction.

That's the whole point. That's why they called it that. I didn't know. It's like you're in Grand Rapids. You'd be like, it's not rapid though. Imagine. It's a, it's a dossil. It's a docile.

We do that shit all the time, though. We name shit wrong. Like constantly. We do. There was this town I remember in Japan called Big Mountain. And I was like, where's the mountain? And they're like, ah, there's none. I was like, I was it small?

And they're like, no, there's no mountain. And I was like, why? You can't be doing that. They just did. It's confusing. It's not cool. Your birthplace is the birthplace of oranges. No, in Paris's failed president, Richard Nixon.

Disgraced president. Nixon Library. Can we all go take a trip to his house? Yeah. That'd be sick. Yeah. Let's go to Nixon's house. saloo.

We'll take a dump in it. He's a lot. He's dead, right? He's dead. He's dead. He's talking about. He's so dead. That is fun.

I mean, so dead is crazy. He's like kind of dead, right? Can you name Nixon's vice president that pardoned him? I'll give you $100. He was the succeeding president. Uh, well, he took over. Technically, maybe?

I forget. What was his name? I just need to know who took over as president. Was it not Warren G. Harding? It was Spiro Agnew. And I only remember that because the name is so weird.

Wait, why didn't he not become president? I don't know. I think he finished out the term or some shit. Or maybe he was like a one day pardon. I didn't read the whole

He was too lit, probably. But his name is Spiro. Spiro Agnew is a great name. It's a crazy name. It's a great name. I thought it was that damn Purple Dragon. I thought I thought it was that

that purple dragon pardon Nixon? Maga bitch. That's why it's not doing so well in sales. Mm. Go woke. Go broke. Like I said, doesn't work.

Go woke, go broke. I saw the fucking marketplace. movie, dude. Did anyone else see it? Iron love. I haven't seen it, man. No, I was in the east. I haven't seen yet, man. I've heard only good things. It was okay. I've heard that it was long from you. You said it was long. I think if it's 30 minutes less, it's like a generational, like, two million dollar indie classic. Is it like Ludwig accent long? What do you want? Because you want to do's long movies. Dude, Ludwig would crush this movie because it's long. Because it's a long movie. A long movie. It's a bit for longer. It is. There is a, there is a shock

through your system when you boot up when you walk into the movie theater you sit down and you boot up and mark a pliers on the big screen and you're like you have all these like ideas running through your head and you kind of want to be judgmental and you kind of also don't want to be and then turns out he can act

it's sold great but you're saying he's a short movie guy I think it's not a long well how long is it it's two hours long that's a long that's a long movie it's two hours long and there's one set right it's a bottle episode me back to 84 minute comedies.

I'm saying, bro. Yeah, man. What happened? A nice, tight 84 minutes. Dude, an 80 comedy with a prosthetic nut sack at some point. That's all we need. Bro, bring it back. Bring it back.

And then we just, we subtract all the transphobic jokes and put in some different ones that are funnier. You could just run. We've done it. I'm talking about the ones before. Eighty-four minutes about how the pubs are stuck all over the poop in the toilet. Like it knocked up. Yeah. I would live that.

And how it looks like a stuffed animal. I would love saying, give me Daddy Daycare. Daddy Daycare. Wow. Isn't that a bad movie? They got Ballroom Blitz in it. You know I'll watch that in theaters? Was that right after, before Iron Long?

It's a double feature. It's back to back. Daddy Daycare is the one where Eddie Murphy, the big moment in the trailer where he opens the door because there's poop everywhere and he looks around and he's horrified. And then the big moment he looks up at the ceiling and it's even more poop. And you can't see it, you can only see his face. Yeah, and it's dripping.

And that's... Eddie Murphy and Asman Gold's bedroom looking at the blood on the walls. Just go ahead and sit anywhere, man. I only have one chair, but you can sit anywhere. I remember being upset as a kid because they made a second movie. And I was like, why is it Eddie Murphy in this one?

That doesn't make any sense. I don't know. It's Cuba Gooding Jr. They should pull a fast one, isn't they? And me, like not, young me, not like reconciling the idea of daddy day camp. They made a third. Oh my God. A third daddy day.

A third daddy day camp. Wait, wait. No, daddy day care two does have Eddie Murphy. You're thinking, you're thinking. No, that's 2025. No, sorry. They made daddy day camp. And then they made daddy daycare two, which is actually the true sequel.

The true sequel. Bro, that just looks like a YouTube thumbnail. Yeah, click the, click the four box that you get at Walmart that has all of them in one. You get the daddy daycare, daddy day camp. Wow. Are we there yet? Are we? separate fucking IPs though.

Yeah, but they used to have these at Walmart and they'd hit. Yeah, it's like, you want to fucking family comedy for the whole family that also has family, and then you pick that up, and it also has French on the box, because it's marketed for Quebec. They did this with like six different versions of cheaper by the dozen.

They'd like iterate the title, swap the cast, and Youngmey didn't know that recasting was a thing. Like, I was like, they're trying to trick us. Yeah, yeah. That's not Eddie Murphy. It's not any more. They kind of. They kind of. trying to trick you, right? They're trying to take the IP that you like and repackage it with a totally different cast. Yeah, but now I'm an understanding guy. Like when fucking they subbed in

Maggie Gyllenhaal in the Dark Night, I was like, that's a better fit for the role. Honestly, but kid, dude, Tom Cruise really fucked with the bag, didn't he? Because that's why. He didn't like her being in movies. Well, this is a good call by Tom Cruise because Kitty Holmes sucked in the first one. She's bad as fuck. Yeah, but she sucked. I don't care. It doesn't matter if she's bad. She dies, who cares? It doesn't matter if she's bad. You just gotta be bad as fuck

in a superhero movie. It's literally it. Your job is to be bad as fuck. Yeah. And Maggie Jellahawk kind of suck too. No. What's up? I like that.

What's so? What's up? No, she wasn't. No he. Maggie was great in that movie. Come out of. It was fine. And she died.

What's the last movie you saw? Real talk? 28 days later, like two days ago. 28 years later? 20 years. No, old one. Digital one. First digital movie.

I love that movie. I watched a digital movie. I don't know why I said it's famous because it's like the first featured digital film. Oh, I didn't even know that. And it looks, I tell you, you pop that up on the big screen now, it looks like shit. John 480P. With these digital cameras, it big as fuck. I, someone, this has been happening for a long time.

I don't know how to, I mean, I could stop it by like canceling my card, but. I think it might be Josh. Someone, maybe it's one of you guys, is using my American Express card to order movies on Amazon. That's weird. That's definitely Ludwig. Uh-oh.

Is it a lot of movies? Somebody? It's like every once in a while. Only on Amazon? Because Loebbeig was doing this with my Amazon account for a while. Really? Yeah, and he also knew it was my account.

And he would just every once in a while, like send me a $2-dollar Venmo. But most of the time not, which I'm fine with. Most of the time not. Some of the times I did. You know what? It's the tax. I get it. There's a tax. But he knows.

It's poppy text. This one's fine with me. It's pop tax. But I stopped using his because I found another way. Okay. Hey, what is it? I shouldn't talk about it on. Burn method. It's just, there's a, like, a account I have. It's of this, like, older man.

I'm able to watch whatever I want. He goes to sleep and it's fucking insane and spiders. When he's asleep, I get away with whatever I want. The waiter at Spider Denny's is like, You know he's watching something, right? You're always watching Fast Five. The waiter in Spider-Denies is probably like, I fucking hate that customer. He's racist as fuck.

I would, dude. Even if I was racist, I'd be nice to the waiter. At Spider-Denies. At Spider-Denis. At Spider-Denis. No, I'm not screaming. I'm just there. He's there going like, yeah, I guess a grim slime is fine.

That's exactly it. Maybe a grand slam. Sorry, I'm just, I didn't mean to, are you going to cook it with your weird furry hands? I get 180 eggs. He's like, drooped over the table, banging sounds. Okay, what do you want? You have coffee? Can I get your order?

And you don't need to vomit on it. Yes, bro. Is there any other one, anyone else working tonight? Just had a curiosity. All spiders, huh? Yeah. They're right. There's no lying.

There's Tony in the back. And then, like, you see a little spider hand, like, wave out that gap in the diner kitchen. Did you guys only interview spiders? Sorry, you're a bad question. It's all me. Oh, please. Oh, it's send me.

back, bro. It's just really stressful. I wake up really scared. Um, but yeah, I saw the movie and I think it's interesting because people keep talking about it. People keep talking about it in ways that like, they're trying to like weirdly defend Markiplier because he's like a YouTuber made a movie. So they're like, which kind of condescending is like, yeah, you come. You come. You come. Yeah. Nice big come, Marky. It's like that is like M2K set versus Zane, the thug finals. Yeah. Where everyone's in the call like, in who. You are gonna come for everything. It's a downthrow nair and they're like,

oh my God, you did it. You guys have to watch this. It's insane. It's really condescending. It shouldn't. It's one of the best melee vods we've had made in a long time. What is this? M2K Zane Thug Finals of Coinbox. It's amazing.

Everyone needs to go watch it. It's a 17 minute saga of Zane just crushing. It's Zane crushing until Zane loses two games in a row and they're in the call going like, the dragon is back. it's actually it's so infantilizing it's like dude Zane's face the whole Vod is just from Zane's perspective and Zane's face the whole time is just like how long did they play

they finish the tugwile's like alright TG I gotta go gotta go got to go got to go he's trying to get out of the call really fast it's just mashing end call and then and then at the end he's just he's looking over at his chase like I'm not crazy right that's all he says and then it ends I think they played like two best

to five or first to fives or something. Yeah, it's like a 17 minute bottom. Anyway, yeah, everyone's treating Markiplier like he's M2K playing Sheik against Zane. It's like, you don't need to do that either. It's just interesting because of who he is, there's a lot of people want to talk more about it, myself included.

But I think it's a good thing because that the movie doesn't suck. I think this kind of happens on like the general movie level too, right? It's like if fucking, if fucking Nolan makes a movie, the reviews are coming into it with that context and like overblowing, blowing it out of proportion or overly criticizing it because of that fact almost alone. Another Nolan.

Another Nolan flick. No, then watch another noll last night. Guacan Nolan in a theater. I was two hours, 45 minutes. Fugge. Cage, we got to go watch the new noll. Oh, it's a long movie. I would do well.

I was actually auditioning for Helen of Troy. I auditioned for Melania. I got, I can't believe you got snubbed. I know, man. That's weird, too. I don't have time to watch Iron Lung, but I did see Melania. Yeah.

What the fuck are we doing? When did you fit that in? They play that in the East? Luckily, I mean, I bought the tickets three months in advance. The theater was empty. Was there a standing ovation? Yeah, I stood the whole time. I stood the entire movie.

Standing watching like a dad at the fucking, watching the wall-mounted flat screen. I like this movie. The thin blue VIP line of seats in the middle of theater. That'd be kind of cool. You have to wear blue if you're in that row, but it's free tickets if you do. Yeah.

Did you really watch Maloney? Yeah, twice. I want to know what it's actually like if you watched it. To, I guess, heartfelt. Yeah. Is the first word that comes to mind. Yeah. I would say emotional.

What was her name before she married Donald Trump? Melania. What was the last name? She had a daughter named Ivanka, I found. Wait, really? Yes. Yeah, there's two Ivanka Trumps. Oh, shit.

Actually, I did know this. So. Not, didn't answer my question, by the way. Maybe this helps you out a little bit. Nope, doesn't. I was crying so I didn't see it. And I couldn't understand them. You guys all want to go see it?

Let's go see Melania together. Can we dress up? Have you noticed all of these planes for us recently have to do with like, yes, ironic experience of the world. Fuck it. Do you want to hang out of me or not? Is it ironic? And you know what?

All your activities are going to the Erica Kirk rally and then the Malania movie. And then you know what? Fuck it. Let's just go to D.C. and just stand outside with Trump church on. The thing about it is it's like, The 999 challenge, like all hot dogs. You gotta do like nine political events, nine political movies. Yeah, like chug nine beers.

You have to have nine Tucker Carlson Zins in your mouth. Oh. I'm trying those today. Oh, they're branded. I haven't seen that. He's got the Tucker Carlson, the T.C. Zins. I want to see a picture of that. It looks really cool.

It's Monday. Oh, chubby kettle Monday. Oh, God. We have so much to do today. You want me to triple feet? Bro. It's too much. It's too much.

It's true. Is it too much? Is it crazy that when chubby cattle Monday comes around every time I'm like, ugh. Why does it feel that? Why did you make us feel that way? For six days of the week prior to it, I'm like, yay. I wish it was chubby cattle Thursday, bro.

We can do chubby kettle Monday on a different day of the week. We could. Do you still have to call it that? These are the Tucker Carlson's. Yes. Oh, I thought. Oh, you can scratch. You got a mystery discount, zipper.

Claim that bitch. Oh, you got to put your email. It really is a mystery. Zipper at zipper.com. You know they made that load of. Oh, is this in case you want like you don't want woke in your Zinn? Yeah, yeah. Join the movement.

Click that. I want to join the movement. We should put that bar at the top of our website. Heather Zins make you gay. This one just gives you nicotine. Today we are doing a mogul money. That's our double feature. It's back.

Back. You brought it back for some reason. What do you mean for some reason? Because it's for some reason. For some reason you've been doing this show for five years. a reason. What? I'm just saying it's like what's wrong with a serialized product. Nothing. That's repeatable.

It's like if American Idol took a four year break. I'm so... That would be kind of beasts. I'm so proud and excited to share the same stage once again with giants, industry giants like Ms. Kiff. I can't

wait. I can't wait. Ms. Kish. Cody Co. Just a slurrier legend have come across the show. Just to even be standing here, I feel honored. Right where they stood. Again?

Well, I stand on the shoulder. Look, I had the unfortunate experience of being part of a community where some people were problematic. And luckily for you guys, you were never part of a community full of other people. It's just not an experience you've gone. Hey, Rainier, though. You're right. You guys take me down. Nobody remembers what happened last time, bro.

Nobody thinks about it. There's no one who is. It's one of my favorite Aden pictures is from that video is bald Aiden When it's it's me kissing Aiden on the cheek But someone made him bald But wait, what are you talking about? From the original Muggle Money He kisses me on our episode

I do a thing where I like I like go to punch Aden And I kiss him instead But someone took the screenshot and made him bald And just made him bald It's really, it's one of my favorite pictures of it It didn't take a lot You know what I've always hated about Muggle Money Besides all the fact that I like it a lot

Is that you do your fucking homework the night before And it's so disgusting thing. Just prepare a little bit more. He pinged the yard discord last night at 12.45 a.m. The yard discord, which he never gives a shit about or cares about. He pinged it. He all pinged. I got to ping. I'm like, who the fuck

I had here ping. Huh? I had here pin. I'm like, who the fuck pinged me. I said, who up? The chat is going crazy. Because it's dad, dad came home. Because dad came home and he wanted you to fill out this Google survey. Dude, he was at the gas station for like three years. Dad came home and took it out and who's going to do something about this. The line of the ARCO was crazy,

but I'm back. And it was to fill out some Google survey for something, for the show. For the show. Which is, I'm not kidding, 12 hours before we do it, which is like,

problem. You've done this the whole time. It doesn't make you cool or interesting. It makes you lazy. It doesn't make you cooler to do something two weeks ahead of time. I got, shut up. You're not cooler for that.

Shut. Shut up. You are. I did my home. You are. I'm just a guy who does things on the fly. Teacher,

I actually did my homework the night you gave it to us. That's fine. That would be awesome. That would be awesome. You make a broadcast product. As long as you do it before it's due. Everyone at the company

would smooch you if you did that. I did it before us do. We walked up one by one. Here, Ludwig, I'm here for my boss smooch. I did that. Oh my God. The boss made now work 10 times harder than you.

You fucking lazy fuck, bro. Out here playing CSU in the office. Chud. Fuck. In my heart. on the fucking line. Every day. If you looked at my schedule,

you would crumble because you'd have no time for CS2. I look at your schedule every day. And you'd crumb. You play Minecraft instead of CS2.

Oh my God. You think me playing Minecraft on stream is equivalent. You play CS2 in your four stacks singing about pedophiles. I'm full.

That is work. That's for work. And I want you to know it wouldn't exist without my stream. Wow. Do you know what? Wow. It wouldn't exist.

dude. Well, that's true because we wouldn't be singing the song because slime wouldn't have had anything to submit to. Yes. Well, to be fair, there are some recent songs made for the love of the game in the offline chat. Oh, what are those? Well, they're hoping that it will eventually go live. Hmm? Like, what songs? I mean the songs in the Minecraft Chud songs? Oh my God, that's right. Oh, yeah. Oh, wait. I forgot about those. I played the Vince McMahon. Oh, our songs. Yeah. I guess we can play them. Let me send them to zipper. Yeah,

well, I guess I want to hear what inspired you. Yeah, you started the movement. Nick started the movement. Because before we recorded last week's episode,

we were singing that song. We were singing a song about porn and if I was getting, you know, anonymous was taking over my life. And I just thought it was funny and it didn't make it in the episode because we hadn't started recording yet.

So when I got home in my car, I was singing it to myself. There's like eight more verses. Really? Yeah, Lizard Squad gets involved. There's like a whole, every hacking body I could think of is in that song. Zipper, I'm forwarding these into the group chat.

Can you see them? So I was just in my car and I was just like, it was making me laugh. I just want to send it to my friends. Want them to laugh now. Want them to laugh now. So you just started rolling and singing. One take.

And then Slime, you see this and you go, I got to sing back. I literally got, I saw the notification I was getting coffee. And then I went to my car and I said, well, I gotta put something up. Yeah. And that was me and Nick.

Me and Nick are like the lifeblood of that group chat. Right. Otherwise, you guys are just like dead weekend at Bernie's corpses. I'm on a flight, to be clear. I don't care. I'm flying. I don't care. I'm in the air.

When you're in the air, you still have the internet and you still have a voice. If you draw, you actually don't. If you draw a line between these two groups of people on the other side of the studio right now, what are the differences? Boerskin. Boerskin. Boerskin. That's right Next question

It takes a lot of time to clean Yeah Because you explode in the foreskin So can I not get a few hours To reply? I'm cleaning the cheese out of my foreskin Don't bring the cheese in man The schmeg

Can a man not clean the cheese Dude you would sing so different with schmag on I could tell I can hear it on your voice I can smell it on your voice I bring the schmegma to my bros that would have been a good Can you see these Can you play these zipper

Zipper there? Anonymous If you hack me Just please leave all the gay porn Anonymous I ask please Would you let me jack all Yeah

And that's what started a movie That's what started it And then what slimes it may not mean nothing to y'all but I just got browsers premium and I'm about to jack my shit off I'm watching porn forever mine Why did you jump to Drake?

So you know the Franchman Pit I guess you call it a hit I guess it's a hit I guess the hit That just happened right off the bat That one I was in my car for a while You did think really? Yes On it. Like, do we go through different songs?

No, no, I landed on Drake because I was like, I need something that'll connect with Nick's childhood. Right. Right. I want to share something with him. He grew up with Drizzy. It is Drizzy head. It definitely helped. I was laughing.

I was. Because I even knew Drake. It's old Drake. Yeah, it is old. Insanely vivid memories of that song playing in gym class while we played Dodgeball. Yeah. But I was imagining that, but your version kind of out of the story. your spider denies.

If you don't take your pill, that's where you go. That's where I go. Yeah. And then we had Aden's. So, but I had to tag you guys. I was like, can we get some, can you bless the mic one time? And I was, I was just finished cleaning. And I'm dead ass in the air. I don't care.

Shut up. I don't care. Shut up. I want to hear Aiden saying. I don't want to hear you talk. That's really fair and hurtful. Please let me turn the pawn on. I just want to jack off.

Leave the air can beat it with me. Is that a one take? No way, it's one day. Two takes? That's second take. Two takes. That's second take. What song is that?

Will you don't know it? They made you say it. Let me love you. Let me be the one too. It's Let me love you by Mario. What's funny is he sings it the same way when it's the lyrics versus the porn lyrics. Because I feel the same about it. Yeah, it's almost like, Aidan, can you change the lyrics? It's the joke.

I got you never heard that. I also didn't hear your song. I don't know what's from. I made mine up. Really? Yeah, it was just a melody stuck in my head. I was literally driving around going, uh-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-oh.

He got a gif I fucking mean that. His is the only one. And then the rest of us were like, what, what fucking, what song can we parody? This song was so good. We don't have it. We don't have it. I thought it was a spoof.

It's one man who has it and three who don't. Well, all spoilers. Mine is actually one take. You're not going to believe it. Really? Yeah. Well, let's hear it. I've been drinking off and getting calm on my knees.

You can jerk off, but don't get calm on my knees. Let's all jerk off, but please, let's avoid getting more calm on my knees. God's plan. Every question times I don't. That was pretty good. The God's plan. It's not that the French song needs any critique, but my only, the only thing I was sad about when I first heard it was that

I thought you were going to still say, and I'm hungry like the wolf. So you know what? It's a great question. I thought, because I'm getting... It was the very end. That was like, be so good. I'm getting to the end there, and I'm like, what do I do?

There's nothing to spoof, none of coming to mind in the slot machine. And I said, I think, arguably the worst line of the song. It is the worst line. It is the end. And him saying God's plan is just keeping a lyric. And we all laughed. I was very happy to hear that. Yeah.

Wow. Well, I did think about that. And it's a scar on my soul. And can I tell you, I've been doing this for 10 years. Please. And these parodies. you go back to my discography. You have, you are a decorated,

veteran. So you get there. Okay. Like, don't be mad. Like, Franchman's a hit. You'll get there. You'll let these little tips and tricks that I use. I mean that when I say thank you, bro. Anyway, vote on your phones, who had the best one. It's not a competition, but it kind of is. It kind of is. I feel like we're doing footie scrand, but you all have a beer in your picture. And I'm like, mine's farm to table, man. Mine is just long hot dog with sourcrow.

But you also made that shit. And I think people respect that. Yeah, I hope so. It's like footie screen, would you get to see the nice, crazy UK guy who made it? It says homemade, homemade sourcrow. It's the wig and kebab guys. It's a great wigan kebab. All right.

Homemade. My buddy Jeff got banned from Xbox Live. By the way, my long term train. Yeah, you stopped logging in. No way, bro. How to get better. I hope he's all right. What happened?

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know much about him. We just play called the four together. But was he good? And he was good as fuck. Yeah.

Damn. He would say some crazy shit on the mic though. I mean, who didn't. And it was all jokes. It's all jokes. It's all jokes like because we know. And like today's like kids wouldn't survive a cod lobby like that.

No. No. They said a lot to say about today's kids long when we were playing. Really? Yeah. I don't know. You like talking about that. Damn.

Really? Really? Well, look. Shout-offs to your homie. What was it, Jeff? Jeff. Yeah. Man, shout-out to Jeff.

If you're out there, bro, if you're, like, in some sort of secret, like, island base that they whisked you away to. Give us an invite, Jeff. Let's game, bro. Let's game.

His game was Latina Hunter 7. The Jeff E. Island Lance. Dude, those, everything, I've been reading those just, like, for fun. Not for fun, but you know what I mean?

Like, there's so many of them. You just find a random one, and you're like, that's fucking crazy. It was just crazy. I was talking about how the more shit comes out, the more we find out he was kind of into lit shit. Xbox, Marvel Warcraft.

Yeah, dude, he was into awesome shit. But would it wow. He played chess. He was banned from Xbox. He was just a billionaire on an island. He could do whatever fuck you wanted. Yeah, he just gamed all day. And then there was the one where it's like,

and he did. I don't think. Then there's like, yeah, Xbox. And there's like, did you get the torture video I said? And you're like, whoa. Oh, dude. Right. I forgot.

I didn't even know Xbox had a camera. Just when I thought he had me. Just what he thought he had me. Osama was into this shit too. I think when you have all that free time on the internet, you find the best shit.

Visual boy advanced emulator. It is shit. I ribbed Jeff. I hope you played Mother 3, bro. Dude, Osama was fucking gold in Minecraft speed runs. Osama was the first one to hit gold. He's the first sub 30. People don't know that.

Cave Boy 7. He invented a lot of the T&T tricks. Oh my god Jeff Dunham Jeff. He's up Minecraft

is awful on a creeper oh man my god my career is so stucky odor the Taliban

will be back if there was a crew around a plan I'd do some shit about it one that's a creeper on plane? I would do some shit.

You would do some shit? Would you a creeper? Well, you wouldn't want to get close. No, but I would be able to handle it. What would you? No. Mark Wahlberg would think he could actually take a real creeper. Yeah, he would be like, yeah, I'd build two blocks high.

And I just start striking it from the bottom. Get away from me, creeper. Dude, that's a creeper in real life, man. What would you actually do? Like, not on a plane, like in your house. You'd block up, you'd place two blocks in the aisle so he doesn't have a line of sight. You'd get everybody to move up. to the front of the plane. I'd probably ask him a question.

Because I'd want to know, like, what, man? What, well, it's like a bee sting? Okay. What do you say, he'd be, if you could talk to a bee, and you could talk to a bee, and you could explain to it that, hey, sting me and then life's over, man, it's just, this is a quick, I think I could get the creeper off. You know what I'm saying? But I think it's the creeper, it's almost the creeper's soul to do that. It's a thing. You think it's their calling. Yeah. Like, the creeper will drop 13 blocks. So first of all, I'm putting myself in a house with a window.

because he won't explode in that world, right? Because he can't see you. I'm cracking the window because it's a block high. Can creepers not see through windows? No, they'll look at you through windows, right? I mean, they can look at you, but they can't, like, see you. They can't see me. They won't proc.

They don't, agro. They need, like, a sole link to you. What if I agro, and then I get behind a window? It won't explode, right? No. But he'll stay in, he'll keep agro. He'll look at you. Okay, so I'm going to smack the creeper real life on the, on the face.

Get behind agro, I'm going to be like, dude, let's talk. Let's fucking talk. Because what has happened to you? Why did you like this, bro? Why are you following me around? Right. I know what you want to do. Right.

And that's not good for either of us. Because if you do what you want to do, we both get hurt. But I think, I think that's like kind of the dream. That's what he wants. He wants to bust. He wants your attention, bro. It probably feels so. I don't even know if he wants attention.

I think he just wants to bust in camp without the attention. It probably feels so good when you finally blow. Oh, dude. It probably feels good as fuck to me. a creeper on your last day. Every time you're like, you just ed, you're like, z. Z.

Zah. Go back. A little longer. Next time I fucking see you, bro. An old friend of the show, V. Money used to talk about the great nut and how would you take the deal of the great nut? And it's basically, you don't bust or jerk your whole life, but at the end of your life, you get the great nut.

And it kills you. This is what gooners are looking for. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. This is... This is what they seek. I guess so, yeah, if you're withholding... The most efficient. If you're withholding the expulsion.

This is why the goon commander rose to power. That's what he was doing... That's what he was working for his whole life. That's what he was promising, but people don't secretly know that he was jerking it off. He was jerking off the whole time. He was jerking off. He was jerking off a box. He was building up this big fucking bomb.

All right, everyone's this great day of work and digging all the strength is. I'm gonna go into the barracks and salute you all. And then he goes inside and has a bourbon. He's like, Oh, God. Here we go. This is you gonna be good.

Guys, I'm so sorry. I have a girlfriend. I can't grew up. I can't. I can't. I'm sorry. I fucking like you all. He's saying it to himself?

We watch fucking beach games. You go to the fucking hockey games together. It's just Tina's boyfriend from Boss Burgess. Yeah, or murder phase from metal ophillips. That's the other head. Shake drizzle. Shake drizzle posted on Instagram. Something, something, my girlfriend.

And I was like, oh, I just hit my girlfriend. Parley. Shake Drosel mentioned his girlfriend today. And his next story was just fuck Nick Versillo. That's why he said that? Yeah. Dude, why can't you let a man be happy? I know.

I'm happy he's happy, bro. Love is love. I'm happy. Love is love. I'm happy that Chuds can find love too. Oh, come on. That makes me fucking happy. Jake Tudel would be like, by the way. He's in the girlfriend posting. By the way, everyone. Just saying. Just saying, man. This is dead ass the first

time I've seen him have a girlfriend. Mm-hmm. Like this long, like, he went on dates, but like he never had like a, he never locked a girl down. He's locked a girl down. But the first time, five years. Shake would have, shake would have tragic romantic treats that could never feasibly work. Yes. That was his life.

And it's like, oh, I met this great girl, but she, you know, she's like, she's going to go to jail. She's a spider and she works at a small restaurant. She's a spider and she's going to go to jail. She's moving to Eswitini soon. It was always something. You have to start out. asking, maybe they weren't going to jail. Maybe they did live close and they just lied.

If you give a Chud some Coochie, it's like a children's book. It's a bad result, isn't it? But if you teach Chud to Cooch, yeah, if you teach a Chud how to be funny enough. Teach, honestly, yeah, it's pretty much all it takes. Funny enough. If you teach a Chud to tweet. Teach a chud to edit. videos for Ludwig Ogren.

Because let's be real. What's his career path if he doesn't? What? Oh, if he's not an editor. He's probably still an editor. He's just an editor. Yeah, for who Asman Gold. He started with Armada. I know. And where do you bounce from there?

Probably, probably H-Box. Maybe sane for a little bit after that. Maybe another Mario runner. Maybe he would have jumped to Mark. Maybe he's like an editor for Squeaks. What about Liam? He could have been a Liam editor. Wow. That might be a better future for him. I think a future where Shade Drosal never meets fucking me, he's safer.

Me too. Yeah, you too, man. He's safer. There's no burger pick, that's for sure. Yeah, you fucked his life up. No, but the burger is how we got the batty. That's what led? That's true.

The burger pick was what led for this? Wait, is that right? Yeah. Yeah. Shakespeare. I think the first message he ever got was like, I like how you look at the picture. Wow. Something like that. He told me that and I was like, oh, that's cool.

You're being lied to. And she's keeping this farce going months later? I know, but yeah, and then the farce continued and I guess I was wrong that she really did like the burger pick. She liked a burger pick. What does the burger lead to? The burger button in the bottom. Well, that's a great question. Is it a social media platform?

It's Aiden's Infinite Burger Quest. Wow. The vibe-coded game. Man, shout out to whoever keeps maintaining this website. What the fuck is this? We vibe-coded a game about burgers. This was from the show. You get a billion points every time to eat a burger. It's like you don't even care about our show.

No, those are calories. You aren't even here anymore Get charisma, My charisma Nice 5,000 raise points Dude, the category is fucked now They've found a right click

A right click inspect glitch No way Yeah, it's really There's a whole something salt video on it It's just like it man It's just like when they found out A arbitrary code execution OOT like category's kind of dead

You can run zoom in this game That really killed that game I know OOTI? Yeah A arbitrary codec X too can kills a lot of game Why don't they just play, like, why didn't people just keep playing non-code execution categories?

They do, but it's just not that, like, the idea that, like, this is the fastest you could ever beat the game, but it doesn't have that. Isn't this kind of like, it's like zero star got made? Why did, and then people stopped watching 120 star? No, because it's different. Because zero star is any percent. Zero star is basically arbitrary code execution. That shit's going crazy. It's so, it's great. It's great. It's great. It's great. It's very. He's basically a hell of politica. If we can only keep one category for the rest of our lives of every speed run,

I'm going 100%. Obviously. It depends. No, no, no, it depends. Like Twilight Princess, I don't know, bro. It's like a six hour run. But it has to be one category for all. Then you do 100%. You gotta be 100%.

No, actually, I think it's any percent. It doesn't have to be any percent. And when they type the fucking Linux code line into Zero Star to get into work, it's like we all have to just enjoy that. 100% but not glitchless. 100% non no glitches

100% sorry it's number negative but with glitches I see you see like you gotta see how fast you can beat the whole game No I think it's 70% I actually switched

I think it has to be whatever is the most interesting run Because the first thing you do When you start speeding a game Is 10% Interesting% I like that's a good way to put it It's a panel of judges

Yeah And it's me And for Mario it's probably 120 right Like interesting percent would be That would be interesting percent Yeah But not every game that like Minecraft is probably still any percent you're probably not doing all

advancements that's arbitrary code execution too see how many lines of code pop up on the screen well you're selling you at any percent bro so you what we what we're saying is that when you start speed running game it's like how fast can I beat it no matter what and it's not about collecting awesome bullshit but you know 120 stars is like it's kind of it's just more interesting and it's a whole game think about it's like holiday silk song comes out and you can only speed it 100% and then they're like do the speed run drop and it's like how long is it's like Oh, it's six hours.

Yeah. You're like, oh, okay. That's, so I don't want to do that. I mean, my playthru is around there. So that's, that's cool, though. Yeah, right. If your play through matches the speed run time of 100%, you're kind of failing the test of it being interesting.

Because then in a way, you're breaking the rule because you're also speed running it faster than the speedrunners. Yeah, yeah. You are better. I like this because it doesn't even have to be about time. It can be about how, you know, how some speed runners, they'll do some, like, weird thing. they'll do it with the guitar. And like,

Tony Hawk Pro Skater 2, interesting percent. It's playing the whole game with your toes. Yeah, or the skate three controller. Yeah. The Skate 3 skateboard controller.

Tony Hawk Ride or Skate 3? Skate 3 had the full last board. It had like the Wii fit board, but it was a skateboard. Am I wrong here, Zipper? Can you check which games had a board? The only game I remember with an actual board was with Tony Hawk Ride.

Tony Hawk Ride. Wasn't there a skate one? This is what I was thinking of. There was a skate three controller. I'll never forget. I told you this cover a million times. I'll never forget it though because the only game I bought

and returned same day. Oh, right. It was horrible. But that controller, looking at it now is dope as fuck. That is so cool. Yeah, it's got the buttons on the side, like a fight stick.

They just put all my favorite things on a device. Dude, ending, entering and you return to same day. The game is horrible. That's sad, though. It's like they did everything, like you were the target demo. Yeah.

It was like to kick flip. You just put your foot on the ground next to the board. There's no flick. How do you fuck that up? It's kind of funny, though, because it's like, just go skate. Well, hey, go.

This is like the adult argument for it's like... It's like, it's so close to being a skateboard. Don't play 2K. It's so close to being a skateboard. Guitar hero? No. This is like the same. I don't know though.

Maybe I'm a boomer, but it's like when you can just attach wheels to the actual skateboard, people are probably done that. To be clear, I was doing both. Sure, sure. But it's funny. I was kind of on this wave as a kid.

I hated games like FIFA and Madding because I was like, I would just go play the sport. It's like if I'm going to play a sports game, I'm going to play Mario. Well, because then I can throw fireball. I can't throw fireball. I can't go to the court and throw a fireball in tennis.

But professional athletes tend to play the games that they play. My girlfriend's dad threw me such a curveball yesterday. He goes, so you still like Mario? And I was like, how do I? You know what? Yes. Can't get enough of that guy. Yeah, I do.

That's the answer. Yeah. What a dick. It's not a dick. He was throwing you shade. No, no, no. It's just the only way he can engage. He knows nothing about video games.

He knows about. What was you supposed to say? So like, how to slay the spy? Are you going 820 on all? He could just be like, how is your job going? No, because it's not his job. No, he straight up is not asking about my job. Like he, like, he walked into my office.

He was at a place and he like saw video game stuff. And he's like, you're still like Mario? Like, he's like, Mario's video games. He thinks I just play Mario the video game. Dude, I hate that guy. I've never met him. No, you don't. I hate that guy.

You don't hate that guy. And he did. I hate this guy. And how can I turn this argument into, you come for me. I feel like that's, that's your thing. That's your thing.

I feel like you've been saying that a lot where like you fight, you dislike the thing and then you're like the argument turns into some version of infantilizing or like the verbal equivalent of saying you, you've come for me. This isn't you've comeed for me.

But I see how you get there but I think it's different concepts. This is more just like, like, you like Mario? But it's old people. What are you going to do? and slay the spire, right? Like if you're gonna engage.

Take the fucking time to actually learn what it means to go in 20. I think I, okay, here's my, here's my, here's my ball. I agree with slime a little bit. Because all,

I think this is, this is what bothers me a little bit about old people sometimes is all you have to do when you say something like this is say, I'm not really like familiar with what you do.

I know like, you do something with gaming? It's like, do you still like like like a lot of video games? Is it stuff? like Mari, like you can say it in a way that is more acknowledging of the fact that you don't

know anything about it. Instead of being the guy who takes a social snowplow and goes, so you still fucking like Mario? But there's a step before that that I actually think that they're not even aware they don't know anything about it. Like in their head gaming might as well be the same as it was when they were kids. Isn't that the curse? Isn't that the curse?

So right to imply that like... But they can't make the decision that you're even proposing. They can't be like I could ask a better question because the better question doesn't exist in the mind of possibility. In their head, they know what video games are. Sure. I mean, if it's good faith, it's good faith.

It's just like, quit fucking using two spaces after a period. Kill yourself. We're out of the conversation about my girlfriend's dad. Your girlfriend's dad should kill us. We are now talking about a fictionalized old man. It's a fictional guy. It's a same guy. Show me that guy's text.

I guarantee it's like three spaces after period. Like, tell you about this. My girlfriend, okay, my girlfriend's dad over the holiday. Another guy should kill himself. Should kill him something. Just kidding. Oh. All jokes.

I love Mickey. I love comedy. I love Mickey. I love it. I get to fucking set fire to everything because you guys said on the pod that I forgot my girlfriend's birthday. You said that first.

Told you in confidence. And you brought it up on the pod. Every one of your guys' girlfriend's dad should fucking die. Okay. Well, that's the last one she's got. And you know how sad she got the first time. Are you really?

Do you really mean that? I have to hold it. Can you break for me? Can you break for me, please? What's your story? And I'll decide. Okay, we went, so we went to her family's Christmas. They have a ton of people over.

It's like siblings, steps, siblings, kids, and we're all sitting in the living room of their house. And the last time we had talked about my girlfriend's parents on the podcast was them visiting and bumping into Ludwig, like bumping into Nick. other time and then you talking about how like is is she hot like how's his hair is she hot dude they have watched that episode like five times and show all their friends the segment where they get talked about they think it's so funny they're not gonna like this one and then they might not like this one welcome to the dark side and then we're all in front of everybody everybody all the

rest of the family like has a very vague idea of what I do it may as well be oh you're into Mario. It might as well be Nintendo. It might as well be Nintendo. And then they pulled the episode up and I'm like, please don't do this. Oh my God. And they make me and the whole family watch the yard podcast on the big TV and watch us talk about them on the show. And I'm dying in the corner. I've never felt more embarrassed in my entire life. That's beast. I last night I hit a I hit a this was this was awesome. A similar thing was being pulled up to show everyone in the living room very me focus. And I said like, I got to pee really quick be right back and just sat on the toilet Oh my god, bro He just sat until it was over Then went back out and I was like Oh man, it was a fucking stinker in there

Wait Anyways that done? You're done watching the thing On the TV watch something else Classic embarrassment skip Yes, cleanly executed I go opposite Yeah you do like to double down It's admirable

Yeah because you're money It's different for you dude You're fucking Ludwig under 70K Minecraft I do videos with Mr. Boney East on there. They pull up a video. I got, let's pull a few others. We got time, right? We have better videos than this. Just watching it like Tom Brady watching old games. Ditters off for half an hour. Like, let's go crazy today.

I think, yeah, I avoid the embarrassment in situations like that by just, again, being strong, even though inside I'm dying. I'm just like, yep, I said that. That's right. What are you going to do about it? What are you going to do about it? Family? And you know what you're going to do about it? You're going to go to the Patreon episode now, because you've been hypnotized. You've been an obedient little man for us. Archie, can you animate up Will Smith with the men in black Forget Me Ray thing and they forgot they watched this episode

and they want more content? A video of spaghetti eating Will Smith and it's made by an artist. And make him spaghetti eating world, world, world, world Smith. Can you invent a new character named World Smith? Yeah, can you invent World Smith? He's all cultures. He's like Captain Planet, but for cultures. And he eats spaghetti and he also fries your memory.

And you're hungry for spaghetti content now. You can get in the Patreon. We'll see you there now. We'll see you on Bogle Money.