The Yard - Ep. 239 - Xbox 360 Summer Drama..

Episode Date: February 25, 2026

This week, the boys talk about Ludwig being exposed from last episode, Slime's final request before his surgery, and how Nick has beef with FaZe.. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Look at you Hollywood. Look at Hollywood Mc Jones over here. It's Hollywood Mc Jones. Can you sign this? Fucking Hollywood McJones. You sign my cheesy pudding. Hollywood McJones, can you sign my cheesy pudding? Sorry, man. I don't sign for men. Oh, fuck. Honey, honey, honey, honey.

Oh, my hand. Oh my head. Oh my wife's hand. Hollywood McJones. My wife's hand is fucked up. Can you do that? I don't sign for paraplegic. Oh, God.

Damn it! You know? He doesn't... That's a weird thing. I'm so sorry. I've just become that. So recently, though. Are you a male paraplegic?

Yeah. Yeah. Oh, no. God, my wife, my goddamn male wife. You bitch. I can't control it. This is our one chance

at the airport. I can't control what I am. Hollywood MacJones are so sorry. Watch my movies. They're too long. They're too long. They're too long. They're too long.

I can sit through it. It's like the Irishman. I don't get it. It's why we make the movies so long. Makes more money. Guys, so we, we hear you. We heard you. And we know what you're thinking.

Like, who. The energy in here. It's just better. It's just more better. We heard you last episode. Aiden did some things that involved the one piece plot line. Thankfully got censored. Oh my God, you guys got yelled at, huh?

No, Aidan got yelled at. Oh, I got yelled at for not like in the live action, but that's, I don't. You guys all got yelled at and I was the based anime enjoyer. Actually, no, because people were like, genuinely they said it sucks that Ludwig is the guy that is fighting for us right now.

They did. I'm just saying, no one said it sucks. Anyway, we've taken steps to remedy the situation, as you can see. He's also left Mogul Moose, which is a big step for the company forward. Yeah.

So just letting you know, we hear you, we listen, we hear you, we do things. Let's just say aiding got the La Lusche treatment. Exactly. Exactly. And I'm already Tracer. And he's Tracer. Really quick, before we move on, by the way.

From Aden? From, well, the Aden situation. And the idea of spoilers and all this stuff is actually a very fruitful discussion. There's an important detail. There's an important thing because you basically crucified the guy. That barely legal twink, you crucified live on stage. You got mad. Probably.

You're really mad, angry. Hollywood Jones got mad. That piss you off. And you said something that you can't spoil. How could you do that? Zipperer. could you roll the clip you with one piece

you can't spoil one piece why because nothing ever fucking happens in it no a lot it'd be like spoiling the Bible me and you commentating supernova last year the exact argument

you refuted on this show you can't spoil one piece it's like the Bible first off agreed on the Bible that guy made a lot of sense oh you like what he said who's that guy's handsome

that was cute handsome that was Ludwig Ogren wow that guy's pretty cool. The act? Long movies, mostly. We're working on it.

Yeah, long movies. He's got the chops. So you're telling me that that is hypocritical. Yes. Because we said someone spoiled it. You. You, you, you, you, you, you. You said that spoiling it is a bad thing.

You can't say that. It's spoilers, Aidan. How could you do that? We have to censor it. You never say to censor it. In fact, you say shit that we have to censor it. And that I said, it's like spoiling Titanic, which is kind of, you know,

it's in the same. spirit of what you're saying. It's like taking an older thing and saying what happened and being like, you spoiled it for me. It's a Bible. It's fine to be upset at spoiler. That's not the point. But what I'm saying is you got mad at that barely legal

washboard twink. And what happened? So have you like changed between then and now? Can I ask you two questions? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You flip the script. You guys were kids once, yeah? Yeah, different times. What age were you born?

What age, zero? Okay. I was born at zero. So do you go through the same steps I did it? Because I don't know how it went for you guys. I had to learn how to crawl first. That was my thing. Then I had to learn.

I was pooping actively, but in a diaper. Okay. I didn't learn pooping to like four. Right. Then we had to learn how to poop in a little, I had a smaller toilet personally and then a bigger one. I had the adult one. We had to eat the whole toilet.

I had the adult one first. I mean, that's fair. So anyway, you changed, right? do you guys still pooping a diaper? Not that I've... No. No. Okay. How about you?

No, no, no. No, we're diaper pooping. So you're pulling up a video of me pooping in my diaper going, what? Really? That's you pooping in your diaper. That's you full of crud and pooping inside your... You're saturating a diaper? That was me. That was me. By the way, in my 20s. In your 20s?

All right. That's a younger version of you who you think is more naive and immature, and immature, naive things. It's me again in my 20s. All right. And then now I'm in my 30s and I know that that's not right. You've grown. Wow.

You've grown. Really. So if you, if this comes around again and you say something that contradicts yourself again. In your 30s. In your 30s. Now you really can't do that. Now that'd be a really big mistake.

No. Because you're an adult now. No more pooping in the diet. That's actually where you're wrong. I'm wrong. He's wrong. Tell me how. Because you poop at the end of your life.

life in the diaper too. Oh, when you die because you can't control your bowels anymore, you poop your god diaper. But aren't you full of wisdom in the diaper? The diaper is for your wisdom diaper. You never reach wisdom. You're always chasing it. Is green poop good or bad?

Green poop is bad. It should be brown like shit. Yeah. We don't love, we don't want green poop. What is green poop is God trying to speak to you? Through the poop. Through the poop. He's trying to give me a message.

What God is trying to tell you is that you ate too many fruity pebbles right away. God wants me to look back at the toilet today. Dude. And be like, what's that? You should always look back. People who blow their nose and don't look at it. Literally, that's one of the stories of the Bible. Which one?

It's when Joe... When red hair shakes, takes a dump in his hands? If you look back, you gotta take a picture of it. I believe Job was trying to save his wife from Sodom and Gomorrah. One of those cities. And God said, we can take her away from there and bring her to fucking heaven. But you can't look back at her.

This is Orpheus and Eurydice. No. The guy's right in the Bible. That is Orpheus and Euritacy for, it actually is in both, but in the Bible version. This happened in the Bible too. Can you believe it? Well, can you believe it? It's a different outcome.

Okay, what's the outcome? She turns to salt and dies forever. Because he looked back at her? Yeah. I mean, can you believe it? They basically did Star Wars and then they called it like the War of the Stars. The guys write in the Bible. I'll name one of them job and half of them will be slaves.

And everyone will follow it. And his bitch wife is sour now. Yeah, and your wife's sour. God made my wife sour. Anyway, it's just nice to catch you in a fucking complete contradiction of yourself. See, I don't like catching him in the contradiction. I like watching him wiggle out. Oh, I mean, that's the fun.

Because that's what he's good at. He put on the Hollywood Jones glasses. He took him off and now he's Ludwig again. You guys are fools. You're a fucking fool. Fuck you. Fuck you, dude. We're in Chinatown, me, Michael and Christian.

Yeah. Just watching your Minecraft run. Just watching you bow that dragon down. Michael saw it too? Michael saw, yeah. Wow. Do you do it, son? He did it.

Let's go. You know what the stream title was? On Nick Versillo's soul, we beat this today. That's what it takes, bro. You know my stream title yesterday was, the day before was? God, I feel crazy today, by the way. My stream title yesterday, or the day before, on Aiden's soul, we're beating it. And guess who ain't here?

Guess who's not here. So it really isn't on me. It's not like I took him out. You took them out. I did take him out. I put everything on that run. And then I, man, it was, it was a fun ride. I have a, I'm doing a death compilation.

I swear to God, I died in ways. People were like, I've been playing this game for 12 years since I was in sixth grade. I've never seen that before. You die different? Yeah, I died different, bro. I think probably 40 of your 70 deaths could be solved by pressing the escape button and thinking for a second. But where's the fun? That saves coming.

Because instead of thinking, you don't think. you're, oh, who, who, and then you scream. Is this escape how you look

at all the matrix numbers? No, it's just how it's just the game pauses. Oh, it pauses. Imagine you freeze it.

Oh, single player. Imagine getting ganged and you freeze the game. That's so crazy. We don't do that in this house. Is this sexual harassment? Is this? And it's a zombie molesting me?

It's a creeper. And the zombies, David Schwimmer. It's a creeper walking into my house. Yeah, dude, I,

okay, I'll keep this short, but the last run was such a fucking crazy movie. It had things called The Ancestors. It had the game crash and rolled me back to before the Nether five minutes before and duplicated

a diamond in which I went and talked to Barnabas and then we decided to forge the ancestral sword. This all fucking happened. Dude, he's lost. And then I took it and then I fought and then I defeated the Ender Dragon holding Barnabas's Emerald. See, he was my Fletcher. With all of the Minecraft updates, I'm like, yeah.

I guess they've had a lot of shit. Oh yeah, it's Barnabas. He was in 1.1.2. Nosh was really holding the whole thing back. I am so happy that it came together in such a crazy narrative way. I'm literally, I find, I get the eyes of America and I got to go find the stronghold. I come back to the village. I talk to Barnabas. I give him, I give him the ancestral.

There's no Barnabas. He's made up Barnabas. We're practicing being parents. He's my Fletcher. Because one day our child, you know, is going to talk like this. And we're going to have to be like, that's so awesome, kiddo. What else happened? So I go to the village.

And Barnabas is a cartographer at the time. I take it as his map. map table away. I turn him into a Fletcher. I say, you make him a Fletcher because you want your arrows. I need you I need to work from you, Barnabas. And right before I left for the Stronghold, I destroyed the Fletching table. I freed Barnabas. Wait, okay. I said you do what you want.

It's like Walt and Jesse. I'm sitting here I'm going, should I tell my kid? Should I tell my kid he shitted everywhere? What do you tiger? You should get Barnabas. Did you trade with Barnabas? Did you trade with Barnabas and you remove his fletching table? He's a Fletcher until he dies. Yeah, but he, you know what? He's an independent contractor now. Sure. he can live how he wants.

Okay. He doesn't work for me. He will, he will roam the earth to find a flushing table. And eventually he'll find one. Ooh. He'll find one.

I did wonder why his little hat didn't go away. After you trade, they don't go back to regular villagers. So, he's walking in a straight line for fucking four million chunks. On his own, dude.

And so I get in a boat and I'd sail to go find the strong and I'm like sailing away and I'm like, you'd be good. You'd be good, Barnabus. it was heartwarming, bro. And then, anyway, I defeat the Under Dragon. It comes back, it takes you back to the spawn, which I didn't know.

Guess what that's a spawn? Four turtles on a beach that I saw in the beginning of the game, the ancestors. I know. I'm not fucking around. It was actually crazy. And if you're interested, you should go watch the Vod.

That's Barbus! That's what he looks like. We had so many conversations. And he was from an... He's from an acacia village. That's right. It's beautiful. You should hire it.

You should pay like a lot of money and hire someone who's worked on features to edit it like a feature. That'd be so funny, bro. Like a, like a like this one of the safeties. Like yes. Like I pace it like a feature and just have it be like way too long. Like way too intense. It's like scored. Like people have to talk about it like in the turtles are symbolic of the beginning.

You should animate it bro. That's what you should do. Yeah. It's sick. If you want to go watch it, you watch it. I will say there's it there's an hour where I'm looking for the stronghold and chat's trying to tell me where it is, I'm digging one by two holds for an hour. It is definitely

skippable. And that was it experimental in filmmaking at the time. That sucks. It's crazy because we've probably played in the last month the same amount of Minecraft on such different trajectories. With such different. Different. I don't think the goals are different. You got to try ranked now. Because the gold was gold was enrichment and

like finding like love and a man. Mine was beating it fast. Yours was fighting love and a man in front of us. Ranked? Well, I'm not pursuing ranked. I'm gold. Oh, okay. Not pursuing. Well, you started, so explain it. You started a tournament and then you, like, lost it.

So you didn't rig this one? Or super... I was ready to kill Super TF for you. I was ready to break his neck, like, hit Agent 47. I was in a tournament. Okay. That I got six then. Out of what?

16. And the lovely face? And then Loving Face. Wasn't double elimination, because that place doesn't exist. We did the tiebreaker. Okay. We did the fifth place tiebreaker. Okay.

So a bit of a scoffer. you lost it. Bobby Scar situation. It's an honest, but there is no such thing as six, so I got fifth. It's got a six. Like you are Bobby Scar at this moment. There is no such thing at six at a double elimination tournament. There should be setups for that at Genesis. You have to do it every time. The play out. Yeah, we need the list. Like, you guys play it. That was 11 Genesis is a go. I know. Goat. Oh my God.

Do we get rid of the X? Yes. Yes. I don't like it. I think X2 was fine. X3 is when they cross the line. Really? Yeah. You want to go back to 13? Yeah. It goes Genesis X, Genesis X2, and then 13. You know what I'll say that? What's nice?

Genesis XV2? You know what's nice about it, though? Is the Bible no longer comes up. When you search Genesis X3, it used to be the Bible. What came up for me is I look up Genesis X3 bracket. It's Genesis X2 bracket. That happens to every year. That's tough.

They don't update. You can't, the SEO doesn't update until next year. Genesis's SEO is horrible. I don't know why. I don't think it's Genesis. I think it's a. a start G. You see that competitor that popped up?

Oh yeah. There was ads for a Genesis. What was it? It's, I don't remember what it's called, which is funny, because they had an ad. But it's an ad and it's just like,

it's people shit talking start GG, but they just censor start Gigi. Oh my God. But everyone knows who they're talking about. Yeah, it's like fuck. Burber, like imagine not having an app. Imagine my own.

Oh my God. And it's like a bracket app. I remember because Leah, our friend worked there for so long. And she would like go to tournament. as a representative and stuff. And it would, she heard it like thousand times

a term, why isn't there an app? Oh, wait, this guy, he worked there. We don't need an app. Why do we need an app? And the answer from these fucking freaks,

these Silicon Valley like molded freaks was the API is open. You could just make an app. Oh my God. It was a free market answer. Oh my God. And it's like no one wants to do that. Just make a fucking app.

Just do it. Just do it. And to this day, there's not an app. Yeah, I don't get how they're a company. They got sold to Microsoft, which is the goal of any VC in tech.

Yeah, I don't care why Microsoft did that, I guess. I don't know. Maybe they got dumped, right? They're no longer Microsoft? I think that Microsoft still owns it. There's no reason not to still own it. I thought that happened. I don't know, maybe.

What the fuck do I know about technology and business? You don't know shit about technology. A lot, bro. You don't know about batteries. You know fucking talk shit on yourself like that. You know fucking a lot about it. I'm against you. You don't know about batteries.

This is actually my new business model I'm working on. Okay. What is it? It's like a you, your fucking grandma walks in. She's like, what are you doing? Oh my God. You're not going to heaven if you keep doing that.

And I'm like, I bought it on eBay. And I'm like, oh, pay my grandma. Fucking, go try it. That's the business. Can I sell this? Dude. What do you? Grandma, I fucking come fucking try this grandma.

You on Shark Tank doing that? Yeah, I'm on Shark Tank. I'm like, I don't even say sharks. Kevin O'Leary's is like kind of like, I'm walking in. I'm like, eh. They're passing about to each of. No, could you do that to somebody else's.

It's Jackie Chan's you can do any celebrity. That's actually not a bad idea. Any celebrity. his hand. They sell just the likeness of their hand and then turn it into whatever you want. You have two guys and the first guy goes out and he goes, watch this. And he pulls up porn and he jerks off and it takes him like 45 minutes of bust. He's like a minute 20. He's crying. And then the other guy's like, now with our new Jackie hand and it's like 30 seconds to bus. And it's the same guy. So it's already already already. Isn't that Jared Leto's Ben? And then Kevin's like, you bust that quickly.

You bust that quickly. So how many loads have dropped in this past year? We're dropping a million loads in one year. And we're projected to drop eight million next year. A million loads in one year. What's your overhead? Costs about 150 per load, but we sell it for five. What? In this marketing, is it like the ad for it?

Grandma's in it? Or is Grandma a part of the experience or selling? Whoa, whoa, whoa, I didn't remember this grandma coming in. What? Grandma, fucking, remember that? It just happened. He just said it that part. The grandma fucking comes, fucking guys.

It's like a hyper mode. It has like a new hyper mode. Right. Hyper grandma mode. This one hurts. Kids not looking it off. I'm not even holding it anymore. Okay, I got an idea.

I got an idea. It's an application you put on your desktop or your phone. And it's called grandma mode. It's called grandma mode. Unironically, you guys are having the same conversation Elon does when it comes with like Tesla gadgets. No. Grandma mode and it can't go over 25.

Yeah, that's what he would say. Yeah. But mine is grandma mode. It's called dogo mode. in the car shows you memes. Dude, I hate that guy. It's grandma mode and every time

you activate grandma mode and everything turns into normal shit so your grandma doesn't have a fucking heart attack. It turned on the fucking neural chip in her brain and when she walks in when you're jacking off, she sees you reading the Bible. That's cool, yes. It's like a black mirror.

It just like rewrites what you're watching. And so you're just like jacking off. Just jacking off. And she's looking right at you and you're kind of like, Hey, grandma, just reading the Bible. You don't stop? You got your jacket, your jacket on, whatever.

Where are we calling it? It's the jacket. Becky hand. The Jackie hand. We call it your Jackie hand. Like, and your grandma walks in it. You're like, oh my gosh, it's crazy.

And you just get to stare at her while you do it. And you're like, you're like, ew. Grandma, what do you see here? You see me reading the Bible? You know what I'm saying? You don't have to stop. Why did you get to stare at her? I don't say you.

I didn't say that. I didn't say you get to stare at her. You said that's what the box says. You get to stare at her. You get to stare at grandma. Do you guys, I feel like, I don't know how to say that. It's a good idea.

Yeah, but I'd have to be the ambassador. Well, you know, you always, you don't have to be a part of this. And that's the thing. You guys can't do this. You need an inbred on the team. Otherwise, it's just fucked up. That is true.

It's really fucked up. It's your fucked up eyes going. The company site, and it's like resident inbred and co-founder. Yeah. And it's his Red Bull, but fat guy picture.

And his eyes are. Mine's like this. It's like, Inventure of the grandma mechanic. And it goes, Grandma, no. And the O's get smaller. I think this is a really good idea and I'm ready to invest as much as I can.

We need you to invest. $5 in the Patreon will go directly towards R&D. A Shark Tank for streamers and they invite on fans to pitch a stream idea. And it's good enough, they do it with the fan. Happened? Horrible idea. Really? Yeah.

Who did it? Um, I, a lot. Twitch did it. I think Doug, Doug did it. Wobby did it. He was like a Wubby idea. I think you remember the Wobby one.

Yeah, there's been a few shark tanks but it's streamers. Dude, I haven't. I don't, I haven't watched Wobby streaming like a really long time and I was just on Twitch and it was like, am I recommended? And I clicked it in. And the first thing he said was a very

slime wittian thing. Like it was very, he had like a little like rage at chat moment that I thought it was so beautiful. Really? And I was like I got to tune to Wubby more. I like this guy. But like he, some guy in chat posted like uh,

my, my girlfriend, like, you're the line for what I'll show my girlfriend. Like, doesn't mean like that. Sure. And he was like, to be honest, man,

if I'm the line, what do you talk about with her? He's like, I'm not saying break up with her, but like, what the fuck do you guys even talk about? If I'm the line. I'm the craziest thing in the world.

Like, can you even show her me? If I'm the line? I like that. Because in the streamers mind, the disease streamers mind, You can either look at that, not say anything, or say something back to it, how you feel in the moment. And he chooses the second thing.

And that's beautiful. And I appreciate that. Speaking of, dude, I tried to talk to Ron. I tried to talk him off the ledge. About what? Oh, yeah, I saw that. You tweeted him? Ron.

Ron's been going through it, bro. He tweeted on his burner. And he said, all that happens, bro, is people just make fun of me on IG and stuff, no matter what I do. And it's so brain dead. It's so brain dead. Zippur, can you pull up my response? Okay. I responded to run. I said your medium is one where you implicitly solicit ridicule. You already lost him. See, that's the problem. Right there. What are you talking about? Right there,

he's like, that's three episodes of message at all friends. He's like, what the fuck? Ecclidly solicit ridicule. Sorry, continue. Fighting against that is a full-time job. I'm speaking from experience. If you want to be an artist, make some art. But streaming will never earn the type of respect you seem to be looking for. Same thing happened with Kai. Namaste Ron. racist. That's not racist.

You said namasteo an Indian man. He's not Indian. He literally is. From where? India? Really? Yeah. I'm based from New Jersey.

I think his roots are in India. Well, so are mine. Anyway, I tweeted this out. Ron deletes a tweet. Oh. I think I struck a nerve, but I wasn't trying to. I was trying to tell him. I have the same problem, Ron.

I work in a medium where you invite people to be, to be ridicule you. I don't know. I don't know if your statement's even correct though. I think it is. I actually, I don't think if you're an artist who makes art, you are absolved of implicitly solicited a ridicule. I don't think you are. However, I think the streamer as a medium, you are basically saying the medium itself, and you can compare this to streamers to just mainline YouTubers, there's a difference between how the fan default decides to interact with you. And you invite this sense of, hey, what's up, motherfucker? I'm going to make. make this guy talk.

YouTubers don't have that problem to that degree. Everyone has it to a degree. Well, I think it's just because the medium is attached to the feedback. Of course. But if you were to seek the feedback in other mediums, YouTube or otherwise, you would see, I think, a similar...

But it's exponentially diminished. Just because there's exponentially diminished replies. Disagree? Sometimes there's more comments than you stream. No, there's always less comments than chats. Always. What is it?

Always. You're fucking stupid. Always less comments in chats. You're talking. stupid to me. I think the only people, I'm trying to think who don't get flack? Ludway Gorinson. Who the fuck is that? Composer. Composer,

he's done, he done to movies. Ah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, he don't get flack. No one is immune to flack. All artists get flack. How? Why? No, probably not in that community. They're probably like, oh my God again, we're talking about him. Real shit. I'll probably within the other composers, they're probably talking bullshit on him. Can you do a Twitter search on Ludwig Gorinson like with like a mean like sucks or like yeah yeah this type in sucks

Ludwig Gorinson pad up I don't know what no what are people sucks not Ludwig pedophiles you're happy The type of love people come up first right away he's molest in the music Moe the Mew he's mowing he's mowing he's mowing he gotta stop mowing you Oh my god while he's looking for that I walked to the office today it's Ludwig and uh michael are like doing Chinese lessons because they're going on the trip and changbang and zipper Zipper told me he was like, dude, I walked by and it was just this moment where Ludwig was like,

how did you say scary? And the person teaching them was like, didn't really know what that meant. And then Michael went, ah! And then Zipper was like, yeah, it was like a five second piece of a sitcom that I was just watching. But anyway, I walk in and it's just Christian and Kelby here. I go, what's up, Chomos? Kelby says, what's up?

And Christian says, I'm not responding to that. Yeah, rational. It was such a good reaction test. Yeah, you can't enter like that. Yeah, but Kelby said, how's it going? It's not on Kelby. You're the one who said the weird thing. Kelvin, but Christian...

You're like telling the story to make Kelby seem weird. You entered a room saying, what's up, Chomas. I'm more saying that Christian reacted so clean and crisp. Yeah, because Christian's money as fuck. He's money as fuck. Yeah. You guys, you got, well, two things on topic of face. Do you guys see that someone broke into their house on stream?

I saw it, but I didn't click it because I don't believe any titles anymore. I assumed it was like fake. Not real. Well, Adap was going to come to PSL. and he texts me, he's like, sorry, I can't come. Someone broke into our house. Oh, it was real.

It was real. Yeah, they like, the guy just walks on stream behind Lacey. That is crazy. He doesn't even look at him. He just walks like he's looking at the room and then walks out. Dude,

imagine a hitman mission where you have to kill a streamer and you like, you have the option of breaking their neck while they're alive. That'd be crazy. Give me this one. What?

We can't talk about breaking in, killing a streamer. They do shit like that. Hitman makes me live. all the time where you like do crazy shit. It's like a little too real. It's a little too real. You literally there's in Hitman 2.

I think you're in the White House or contracts. How about this? A Hitman mission. You've got you've got your grandma, no, what do we call it the jacky hand? You've got your Jackie hand and you got to find someone to fucking give it to you. You got to jack them to death.

You got to jack them to fucking death. And then grandma walks in, you got to make sure you're doing it. Because otherwise she's going to see what they're actually doing, which is jacking off. I guess they're already jacking off. How about you have to feed grandma the neurochip before.

So you have to dress up as a chef, yeah. The first minute you're like, wait, why is this a mission? And then you learn later in the game. Oh. And what you actually know to reverse, because the Jackie Hand shows you jacking someone off. So grandma thinks you're seeing that, but you're killing them. Yes, exactly. And so you're able to do it in broad day.

And then you jack the guy to death and fuck come fucking everywhere. And then you extract, exfiltrate. And they say, good job, 47. I was watching, Adapt was teaching Maya how to play Nazi zombies. And they're in black ops too. and they're in the pregame lobby. And some, if Blackhops 2 is like one of the most

modded call duties ever, it's really easy if you know someone's gamer tag to like just ruin their life. And some guy choice their fucking game and his name's like the internet criminal. And I was like, oh fuck no. Who the fuck is that? No.

And both their Xboxes immediately freeze. Wait, he knew it was him? No, no. Like he was just kind of like, they saw his name and he didn't invite him in the lobby's closed. I see. Like no one is allowed to join the lobby

And this guy's in any way And Maya definitely didn't invite him And both their Xboxes immediately freeze They have no controls anymore So they both shut their Xboxes off Turn them back on Guy rejoins His Gamer tag is different now

It's now just ADAP's IP address Oh my God One minute later His whole internet goes down Dude Maya turns into a mosaic on stream And he's like Oh fuck no

He's been there too And they just had to end stream. Yeah. That doesn't sound fun. And Maya was like, you know what, though? Like, this is kind of the genuine 2016 experience. That's what playing that game was like. No, that's worse than that.

No, if you played Black Ops League play, that's exactly what it was like. I mean, yeah, but not like the streaming aspect changes it. For sure. It happens a lot quicker and a lot more targeted. Your internet don't go down in a minute normally. But Black Ops 2 introduced like a competitor. It was the first call to you to have a built. in competitive mode where you could form a team. You could literally in-game make a team logo and that

team would have a rank and it had to be those four players to have that rank. You couldn't put a random person in. And you would go and you'd play people and you'd look on the leaderboards. And if you look at their match history and they all had like their last game was like less than a minute long, you're like, dodge, just get out. They're going to hit all of us offline. Okay. So they're the criminal. Yeah, they're just booting people offline for the wins so they could be number one on leaderboard. Right. So was the whole game or was it just in that mode where there was like the Resident an evil two man who just appears sometimes and ruins your life? Just that mode.

Okay. Every once in a while you get in a public lobby and whoever the host was like your IP address would be bouncing around the screen like text. But like it wasn't necessary back then like no one knew what to do with the IP besides the guy who had it and he was like whatever. I'm joining 20 lobbies a day. But league play is where like yeah

you join and then your internet would just shut off for 20 minutes and you'd be like great. Dude there was this issue going on with IRL Toolkit which is like the service a lot of streamers use to basically like go live without the stream if it crashes shutting down all the way. Oh. There's like a little cloud service that keeps it running.

It like puts up the wait screen, right? Yeah, you can change scenes. You can have a wait screen if it's just on whatever. So it can be convenient in that sense. And then Tim's left to his own devices. And Tim can use it to fuck around and show super exploding himself in the nether with a bed. But for a while, like a good two month period, it was just getting fucking. fucked with. It was shit in the bed.

I don't remember this. It was during like streaming university, right? Yeah, it was a, that's when it started and it just, but it kept going like kind of sporadically where like servers would shut down, streams would F and it'd be due to toolkit. Like if you were just used normal direct to Twitch streaming, that would be better. And that's crazy because like you pay for this. I was I was getting fucking annoyed at this. So I talked to Nico because Nico's like

you know, he's the knower. I remember he explained it to us once. It was right before the when we did the food stream. Yeah. He was explained. It was like hearing about how rockets are made. He just knows so much about this shit. You're so confident when he talks. Like if you say something wrong to him, he'll just be like, no, that's not right. It's actually this. So I'm like explaining my problem to him. And he's like, he's like, yeah, uh, Brazilian kid. Oh my God. I remember this. I'm like what? Yeah. And he's telling me how this is not an issue with

toolkit. It's not like toolkets getting targeted. But like there's Amazon cloud services and Google cloud services that are being targeted by one Brazilian kid. And he's just like, so low. taking down chunks of their servers. Lizard Squad vibes. And I'm sitting there and I'm like, I'm like, Niko, impossible. One Brazilian kid could not do this because then, what if you had 10 Brazilian kids?

You're telling me Dingo Bell is doing this shit. Shout out to Barbershop. Look up Dingo Bell, please. And he's like, he's like, yeah, it's one kid. One kid's doing all this. And I'm like, well, how do you stop it? And he looked at me seriously. He goes, I don't think the kid's going to be around for a long time.

I was like, what? What? I was like Amazon agents. Yeah. He's like, he's like, he's like, you don't fuck, you don't fuck with the money. Yeah, I guess if you molest the money, the CIA will fucking kill. And he said it with a German accent. Holy shit.

He said with a German accent. You don't fuck with the money, especially Amazon. That's like you not a bad. They will come for you. A little deeper. A little deeper. They will come for you. It's a little too, it's a little too, uh, Falsh.

Giving a mission. It's Arnold. Miko doesn't talk like he's giving you a mission. How do we find a right one? It's right there. It's the right side. The Rappel? It's right there. It's right there. What is this?

The bodd mass remix? That's what you look good. This is the guy taking down. I don't know who this guy is. This is the second time we've shown this. Yeah, it is. We've done this on the show before. Well, now he's a criminal.

Who, Dingo Bell? Yeah, he did. Well, he's a dead criminal. He's a dead criminal. He's a dead child criminal. He took down Amazon Cloudflare and now he's dead. I got to get my hair like that badly. Dude, I was thinking that I need to do some shit to it, and that might not be a bad light.

You used to do it. Do you remember this? You used to do you used to do you used to say. Yes. I used to let me do fucking anything on your stream. You used to tap me up, bleach it and cut it. Yeah, now you don't fucking. Myer used to look bad too. You used to ask him to do it, bro.

I know, but I'm saying like he didn't, like, look at the hair. Not busy either, so. You want me to. That cut is insane. It's perfect. There's not a, there's not a wrong area. And it makes you wonder what drove him to be the criminal. that he became against Amazon Web Services.

He's definitely singing this is in the barbershop, right? It looks like the part of the mouse pad you put your wrist on. It does like very comfy for the bone right here in my hand. It's got a red hue. Do you remember World's Greatest? I think it was one or two. By one, yeah, we played CS and then it... DDoS, yeah.

And the theory was that, because it kept getting DDoS and there was like protections at Offbrand. But then I remember L.D was like, I think genuinely the Russian kid who is doing this is just going to go to bed. And then it stopped. Yeah. Lizard Squad took out the PlayStation Network for an entire winter break.

We just couldn't play fucking PlayStation back in the day there was like a hacking, anonymous hacking group called the Lizard Squad. If I remember their their profile picture was like a gentlemanly lizard

with a hat on and they famously hacked the Sony network and took down PlayStation. Did they get to like dump data? Was that a big deal about it? Probably I don't remember that part. I think I remember that shit.

Yeah, yeah, that's it. And you just, you just couldn't play PlayStation all winter break. That's what an amateur Dota team's logo is. Yes. Yeah, with like a couple of old pros. Type hacking. Wow. And yeah, I think, I think some of them ended up getting caught and going to jail. How long do you go to jail for that shit?

Go down? I think it depends on how many people you made mad. The thing is, like, it's not... Bomb threats! A couple bomb threats. What? Come on. Yeah.

Julius Kivimaki, Vinnie Omari. Yeah, one of them was 19. Zachry booked up from Maryland. So what I'm saying, like, it really just takes a 17-year-old with enough time and effort to do this. Twitter profile user FBI are losers. That's tough. I like that. Yeah, we were, we spent a, we sent a, uh, a winter break very afraid of Lizard Squad on Xbox.

We were like, please don't fucking ruin Xbox. So, so what? You were scared of them just. ruined like not being able to play the game literally taking down live right we couldn't play xbox all summer could watch movies together can play xbox yeah actually it was just like please don't fuck and back then there used to be like uh every once in a while you'd get a friend request from a guy and his gamer tag would be like extremely ogy like his gamer tag would be like he just had the gamer tag ded off yeah like one word one word or something something he clearly hacked to get which was like

his he's wearing the badge of i'm a hacker and he'd message you and be like hey you should add me so i can protect you and the implicating you and the implication you was that he's going to hack you if you don't add him. Because if you're like a known person in the community, he like wants to be on your friends list, but he like knows enough to like drain your PayPal account. Dude, that's racketeering. It's literally the

mob going to the coffee shop and being like you pay us, we protect you, but you have to pay us. Back then, bro, I should have asked to adapt that. Maybe I did. But like if you go to like a phase member's friends list and you look through, you'll see a couple like one word gamer tags and you're like, oh, that's their protector. That's their guy. They're afraid to not have it.

Do they have to pay him the Vig? No, they They pay the friendship. The payment is having the friend. I would charge Vig. You only had... If you have that high status of a friend, you don't, right? Like, you're not charging Frank Sinatra's, you know, karaoke bar. Does Frank Sinatra want it to end up fucking full of 7,000 bullets?

No. And that's the Vig. That's the Vig. Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay. You're only allowed to have 100 friends on Xbox Live. So, like, when people, when you get into lobbies, people would just, like, open and look at your friends list like a trophy case. And they'd be like, oh, my God, you have so-and-so added. You guys would be one of my hundred.

Really? Yeah. You fucking mean that for... I do fucking mean that. I don't know if I could delete someone for you, low key. You couldn't delete, not a single person.

I don't know. Full hondo. Deleating's tough, man. Yeah, no, I get it, but you could find one. Because every time you delete someone for the,

like for someone else, it's like I had to delete someone for that person, right? So it's like that was at one point. It's like the avatar. You got all the lives that it's, you got little Jeff zero zero one in yours? No,

I don't think I got little Jeff. I can check. I might still have little Jeff. Dude, that's honestly such an honor. It's like I'll delete Jeffrey Epstein's, Xbox Live account for you, bro. I'll make room and that one will go.

Dude, I got beef with the fucking... You guys see Faze rugs back to trick-shotting? No. I didn't know he was ever at... He made a... He never in it? Yeah. He was like one of the really good ones.

Really? Yeah, yeah. I didn't know that. I just knew he was in phase. I didn't know he's like one of... I shouldn't say one of the few. But like he joined Faze off like the merit of clips. He's no face faky. Uh... Can't all be Fiskegy.

But he was close. He's close. Respect to Rugg. Respect to rug. Respect to rug. But he made a montage. They've been playing Xbox 360 and like getting clips and stuff.

And I'm at home. I'm playing team death match, which is not Search and Destroy. And I join a lobby. I get pulled into their Search and Destroy lobby. So they're modding so that anyone who cues the game gets pulled into their lobby so they can guarantee that they have a lobby,

which I know this existing. But I was just kind of like, God damn it. That's selfish. I'm like, why am I going to wait until you here. This is why I have beef with it. Trick-shotting is very like skateboarding. It's like there's, you can't just do the trick at a spot.

There's a lot of unspoken, like, rules, and like there's an element of stees and style and like, oh, you did it this way. You didn't land bolts, that's lame. Or you didn't, you know, blah, blah, blah. There's all these like unspoken rules. So they're playing in a way where they all have, none of them have stopping power pro on,

which is like the perk you have to have so that people die in one shot. And I'm like, what the fuck are they doing? Until I got on the other team. Because when I got pulled in their lobby, I got put on the other team. They're modding so that all the enemies only are one HP. And they're going for trick shots.

And they're hitting hell of clips. And they're posting clips. Like, look at the fucking bangor I slap today. This is an expose. And I was like, we're modding HP now? Wait. So instead of sobbing power, what do they have? Lightweight and cold-blooded.

So they're not on UAVs or like, you can't be kill streets. And they're fucking noob tubing, then one-man armying back to their sniping class. And I'm like, brothers. It's enough. Can it be enough that we're getting people? the lobby. So you're calling out Phase Rug. I'm calling him out a little bit. Is he kind of fake in the funk? Did he admit this though in the video? Is he like, I don't, they're not saying it in the video. It's on the description. No one's saying it. No. But well,

so right here on the yard podcast, phase rug lowers the rim and pretends he's brawn for hours. It's called, um, what are they calling it? There's like this big, it's so I've been keep, I've been keeping up against my will because Twitter only shows me that now, which is, you know, better than ISIS beheadings. Uh, they've, they've corrected that was ice beheadings now. let's go there's a war right now between like OGs and like new gens

and they're basically fighting about like New gens are fucking using mod menus to get on top of the map and going for infinite attempts whereas like OGs are using the glitches required to get on top of the map to get your one attempt on a real player who works at you know Amazon and this is somewhere in the middle where it's like well we're not fucking cheating to get our clip

Like we're not our no scopes aren't hacked and we're not using mod menus to go on top of the map But it's also like but you are you're still lowering the rim somewhat yeah you are we could just be doing it through It's not a six-foot rim but it's like eight yeah it's eight yeah but we could just cue and play and you could get a hit marker and that sucks and that's kind of the beauty is that sometimes you don't get the kill and it kind of sucks And all this is happening while these ancient Xboxes are just wheezing They're just they sound like fucking aircraft just on the tarmac going But if I get struck my ego a little bit Off the back of that one DM you got I joined their lobby and immediately

The first thing that someone on the unrugged team Says through the Xbox mic Which I don't have so it comes out my TV Or my screen goes There's no way that's Fast 9 Yo look at you That's like there's no way That's Hollywood Jones in there for

It's a short movie That can't be him It can be him Hollywood Jones on the billboard Can I say something now that he's gone Say it. Can I say it something? Yeah.

I'm sick of the way you guys treat me. Okay. Just because I can't message that good. Yeah, you message. You message horribly. You deserve to be made. And the worst part is, is that you don't even pick one place to do it. Like, you'll sometimes send me half a message over text and half of it on Discord.

I feel like that's not that weird. Because then you can look at both and then put them together. Don't you think that defeats the purposes of messages? What are you saying? But here's the thing. I kind of get what you're coming from because you go under, it's like the phone is one purpose

and Discord's a very different purpose. And you wish that you could consolidate both in the one place. And I want to ping you on both because maybe you're on your phone and then on your computer. And that's why I put half the message on the phone saying pod and then on the Discord, I'll say 230.

I think what you need is something that takes all of the different ways we try to get a hold of you and just puts it in one little thing that you could check. And you would run a business better that way. I was thinking just get better friends. I'm thinking today's episode is brought to you by Quo spelled QUO,

the smarter way to run your business communication. That seems like an ad read. I just feel like I need friends who understand me. Let's dive right into the quo read. Quo is the number one rated business phone system on G2 with over 3,000 reviews built for modern teams. You have a modern team. Modern teams.

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rely on quota stay connected. So when you go to China, you can rely on quota to stay connected with your business. Just want to stay connected with my friends. I feel like they don't reply to me a lot. Well,

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I don't know texts refuse. You're going to break. You're going to break. Right. No text refused. I texted you all weekend on three different apps because I needed a response from you

about a real thing and you didn't respond to any of them. Well, it's because they were all separate. I didn't know how to consolidate them. Well, Ludwig, make this the year where no opportunity and no customer, which you do a lot, slips away. Try Quo for free, plus get 20% off your first six months

when you go to Quo.com slash the yard. That's QUO. Dot com slash the yard, quo. No missed calls. No missed customers. That's funny. With Jackie Hand, nothing slips away either. Jackie Hand, jacket.

That's cool. And so I'm feeling on top of the world. He's doing me hopping in a Minecraft lobby in 10 years? In gold? You're like, gold's different now you're sweating your ass. There's no way that's Chudwig. There's no way that's Chudwig. He was gold back then.

He was the first Lowell Cowl. Then there was an army of low cows. Dude, I saw that, I think I said this last week, but I forgot. But Ludwig reduced the amount of people that surrender by the player base. Yeah, I saw that. That's so cool. It's actually one of the coolest effects you've had on a game. Yeah, maybe the only one.

Dude, the player base tripled. That's also whatever. But it's the fact that people became tenacious because of you. You inspired tenacity. I think it's a temporary thing. You think so? I think the, I've seen the tenacity when.

You know who doesn't have waning tenacity? Liam King's TV. He's a no forfeit guy now. I've never seen him so mad on that stream, bro. Dude, he's had this issue where he gets so angry, because of Minecraft makes he very angry because there's a lot of RNG. And although it affects both of you, you know, feels bad

because you just want to execute the route you've learned. So when you die to RNG or even your own folly, you feel bad, you feel dumb. What's that example of dying to RNG? Like, it could be, there was a clip yesterday, Liam's playing. It's a treasure bash, and he's like building up. You have to build up to it. And there's like a pretty typical route.

Just the way that it was built is there was like a little ceiling just above where you're supposed to go. And he looked at the clip, this pig, runs like 15 blocks falls down, hits him while falling, knocks him into the lava. Like just as a suicide kill. The pig's fucking dead. The pig goes

for the crane shot? The pig goes for the crane shot. And it's just fucking hits it. Banger. And he fucking dies in the lava has to reset his whole world. I don't know a pig's attack. Is they specifically, are they in the nether? If you don't wear gold, they hate you. Yeah, they're very... Also if it's a brute they hit you no matter. Well, there's no brutes. Oh, there's no brutes on your

They do this in New Jersey too. Yeah, it's a new jersey thing. I actually had a very similar one. I was in a bastion and then I covered it up to get a chest. I was like, it's fine, but I didn't notice there was one square block in like this five by seven cell that I built. I opened the chest and just pouring out comes like so many pigs. Oh, because you open the chest. Yeah, I opened a chest and they got mad and just pouring out of this one corner hole like

like a dispenser. And I'm just stuck. I'm just fucking stuck there. And you can't. So I watched a little bit of yours where like you make a hole and throw gold into it. What is that for? Is that just to distract them or do you get something out of it? Oh, they trade.

They trade. There's like a certain amount of items they can trade and you're looking for a few of them. So I'm hoping to get like... How do you see what they're trade? You click on them? Oh, they spit it back out. Oh, they spit it out. They eat the gold

and then they throw something. Oh, what a strap. They just got it in their pantalions. I saw you like grinding like a section that was like basically only doing that. Yeah, just bashed maps. Oh, is this it? Uh, this is a different one, but he's, yep.

Okay. Yep. His face. He gets so fucking mad. He's got a little trading hole. He gets knocked off. Yeah, that's just how it goes sometimes. Look at him get his piggies in his hole.

That's a great farm right there. Oh, I see, you see him. You could see him right behind him. You couldn't, when he, when he F3, you could see it. And that's a full reset. That's a skill issue. And by the way, by the way, you know, he's playing in this game? What?

Me. No way. This is against me. Fat Joe Wal Cow. Did you win? Yeah, yeah, I beat him. Let's go. He's also doing the same strat I do to broadcast it because it's annoying.

Yeah, it's been, uh, It's been quite an era. Minecraft rules. Minecraft's fucking cool. I've discovered it. It took me years. Dude, it's funny because I have, people say I know more about the game as a whole than you.

Because like, you don't, you just play this single version of it, but I'm like with Bournabas. We're like finding shit. I mean, I basically have only ever gone to melee tournaments and you played like adventure mode for a hundred hours.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know all the trophies. Yeah, I know, I know all the trophies. And you know about like those little ghouls in the legend of Zelda area that kind of drag their feet around. Did you know there is a mob that spawns in the sky at night if you have not slept in three days?

I do know about that. I found out about that the other night. What? Yeah. It's called a phantom. A phantom, yeah. And you have to kill it for phantom scales to repair your Elytra, which he didn't know what it was.

It's fucking great. Guess what the electric does? Guess what it does? Do you fly? You fly. Yeah. Yeah, you fly. Yeah, okay.

And you can only get it after killing the under dragon. That's, I'm going to do an epilogue episode where I go find Barnabas. Because I'm still in hardcore. Yeah. I don't think it's true, by the way. What? You can only get it after killing the Ender Dragon? Maybe you can teleport.

I think it... I think you can just bridge over, no? From the end? No, because there's the portals that have to open up. But you don't have to use the portal. I think you can bridge. That'd be crazy. I think.

I'm going to find Barnabas. I found... What you told me is that he, I can't turn him back into a cartographer. It's like a thousand blocks. Yeah, so you can, yeah. But I'm going to talk to Barnus's brother at this. There's another village right near the one that he lives at.

And it's two in villages. It's like St. Paul in Minneapolis. Right. And I'm going to talk to Barnabas's brother. They're not on good terms. No, we got to bridge that gap, though. And I'm going to make him an advanced cartographer, Woodland Mansion. I'm getting my get back.

Whoa. I'm excited. And it's hardcore so I can die. So you're not giving up here. You're playing a hardcore world now. Yes. This is like probably the most popular thing you can do in Minecraft. I mean, it's fucking awesome.

I beat the game and now I'm still vulnerable. I mean, this is like the thing. It's like, thousand day hardcore world. And it's like, you know, somebody loses it. And it's like they, there was a, the other day somebody lost. their hardcore world because they had built that can you look up the sand I don't know how to look this up it's like giant sand cube hardcore world they built like a 1,000 by 1,000 sand

cube that they were going to use to drain the ocean yeah yeah this is a thing you know you know I know Jack Zilla's autistic it's because when he was like when I play Minecraft I build the cube jack zola has done this exact and the cube crashed his computer and then he lost his because the queue was so big. You can't revert. You can do backups. You can have backups of your world if you wanted. Oh, but I guess that should count as losing your heart.

It depends how hardcore you are. It's hard core. I think if your game crashes, you're allowed a rollback. The game did it to me by nature. I didn't know what could do that. I look because that was such a good run. I was like, if this loads up and I'm dead for some reason in the nether,

I'm never playing this game again. And then I load it back up on backup with Barnabas. There's been a couple times where there's that one guy who had like a hardcore world for like 11 years. Right. Finally died. And you can just immediately see the look in their. eyes of like, do I need to get a job now? Like, what does this mean for me? Hardcore is a life

changer. It's cool, man. I couldn't do it. Well, didn't you, didn't it all start because you tried to do hardcore and you beat it? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I beat hardcore. I'm saying I couldn't like continue a hardcore world. I just want to do a couple things. I want my get back on the mansion and that's it. Yeah? Because that's what they took me down. You should get an Elytra. I could get an Elytra. I think you'd enjoy it. But that's, I need to talk to Barnace's brother and hopefully maybe even mend the rift between them. They have a rift. Oh, yes.

Okay. What do they want you should say about that? Well, the ancestors, they don't really meddle in the, right? In the villagers, you know, solo lives, right? Like, they're more watchers. Right, okay. When they need to guide a hand, they might guide like they did with me. Right.

But I had to craft the sword. And the sword burned. Is this it? This is the block man? This is the block man who's draining the ocean. In hardcore? In hardcore, yeah. Oh, my God.

So the idea is that what, it crashes down and like, creates like a ripple effect. So basically he's going to break this sign which is holding everything up and then all of these sand blocks are going to enter the water and then replace the water with sand and then he can just break the sand and there will be no water. The video is going right? He's just frozen

Oh my God. Yeah the game is playing and he's just as frozen as it gets. Dude my heart would be in my fucking chest. Oh no window. Oh it's it's fake. It's additive for dramatic effect. Awesome editing. You can see

Dude, he's looking at his life right now. Oh my God. Dude, the binary isn't working. When the binary isn't working? It doesn't feel good. It doesn't feel good. Wow. Yeah, that's cool.

But yeah, it's been fun. It's just the great game. They just made Legos and they put it. It is a great game. And you know what? I don't know. My chat might have changed. There's CS2 haters.

That's why he had to announce. He literally had a sit there. sit them down and go, hey guys, not gonna be playing Minecraft for a little while. Don't be mad. I just sit the kiddos down. Don't be mad. A little bit gun.

One bullet. Cannot be used on yourself. Okay. Minecraft? Right. Melee. Ooh. Dude, there's actually so many similarities

between the two. It's crazy. Just no, I wouldn't ask you this question. Steve's in it. So, sorry, let me understand. Is it the community, like the speed running? It's just the whole game. The game cannot be played anymore.

Wow. By you. By me? and we all know how well melee does on stream by you and everyone else wait what okay

if it's me and everyone else I would shoot Minecraft but if it was it was just me I would shoot melee really interesting I haven't played melee yeah I'm playing a while

a year bro yeah yeah but like you don't you don't wait for that time where you're at like the homies wedding and it's all get on that setup yeah but that's not like I'd be willing to just sit back and watch yeah no touch

no touch let is willing to sit back and watch I'm gonna go watch it with you. I'll watch you. How much long are you gonna play Minecraft? I'll watch you. I mean, look, I already said, I'm announced that I'm ending my arc.

I'm ending on top. I think it is also... I had electric games like you would have never imagined. Dude, something that pissed me off about Ludwig, bro, is that he will be streaming that game or maybe even League of Legends. He'll say some shit to chatters that I would never say

because they cross a line. Like what? You sent me one. What was it? I sent, dude. He basically said, Oh, that's cool. I hope you die in a drunk driving accident that I'm going to cause.

And I'm like, I've never said that. I keep it abstract. But mostly. What? And I'm like, why am I the guy who's like the, I'm all grumpy and crazy all the time? This is Oulu Ludwig with fucking Aria Mogul doing goddamn Uw post. And you're saying that?

Why do you get away with it, handsome Hollywood Jones? I, first off. he's like like what first time I wasn't even that drunk driving it wasn't drunk enough to call drunk driving drunk driving we call tipsy driving

tipsy driving Timsy driving Timsy driving Segana should have dodged right you know dodged driver you should drive defensively

right should drive defensively Christian dodges that Kelby does not Dodge a car you dodge ball amen yeah I what I'm just saying it's

it's an unfair standard I'm the crazy guy, but you've crossed lines that I would, I have never crossed. Obviously, it's fake. Like recently I've been telling Chiders I'm gonna bomb your house with my B-52. That's different. You don't have access to that. You have a car.

Yeah, but I don't drink. A month sober, shut out. I'm so mad, bro. Us sober guys. It's not fucking fair. It's not fucking fair. We just know. We just know. We just know. We don't know. We had to, we had the bar. We're going, I don't know, maybe a diet beverage. I don't drink either. You have Coke zero? I hate Hollywood Jones.

Dude, we were at the wedding, and I come over with the Diet Cokes for you guys. I've never seen you light up so much. Oh my God. That was like, that was the nicest thing I think he's ever done for us. He full shook to me. And I knew your bevies.

And I knew your bevvvys. He came with three drinks. And they're two Diet Coke's, one for us. And then it was so kind. It was very kind. I know as a viewer, it sounds weird. It's like he brought you soda. Like, it's so normal.

You don't understand. Ludwig just gave us a thing that wasn't expensive. I was just sitting there thinking of you guys And I was like, they would love this right now Holiday, no You know who he didn't get one for was Aiden I think your guys' relationship is getting fucked up and frayed at the seams

No, you don't understand, that was even more stuff for us Oh, that was amazing for us It was amazing for us You know what they'll also like if Aiden doesn't get one What would I get them? I don't know anything, something like He seems like he'd want a sprite Yeah, I wouldn't know

Well like what would you get him? You are at the bar See, the things about your friends You should know So what do you get him? God, what do you get? Aiden. I know it's a good question. I actually don't really. What's his drink of choice? Yeah, fucking guy.

Do they have fucking Jasmine tea iced? I think I, and here's the name of Aden. I think he would take any beverage that you give him in reply the same way. He would, he would. But what does he actually deep down? He'll say oh, things and not drink it. He might take a sip and be like, I don't want that. And it's like, you might as well smash his fucking nose in the table. I couldn't, I couldn't tell you if he'd want a beer. I don't think he'd want a soda. Maybe you'd want a water. He fucking drinks, bro. He does like drink it when it's time to drink. But he's like, but he's like, he We got a couple sober people got given like a champagne at the table and he was just, he was taking him.

Yeah. He was saying the champies. But he don't drink that much when he drinks. He drinks enough to be the huggy man. Yeah. And I like the huggy man. He becomes a hug monster. So what drink?

Ah, Jesus. You know what? Ludwig and I'm going to say, I think it's an alcoholic drink. I'm not exactly sure with which one. I think so too. I think it's an alcoholic drink. I think he would like if I brought him a gin and tonic. I think he's not a G&T guy.

You are absurd. I think he'd be fit. I think he. want like a light beer. He's not going to answer you. What about what about like a can I make my guess? Can I say um a mamosa? Mamosa? A mimosa it's bicexed not a woman is it a morning thing? Yeah. Oh I didn't know that it's morning brush. I didn't know that's orange juice. So people people put fucking like uh blue cheese in their alcohol I don't know what? Yeah you can get like olives and blue cheese and your guy who's

never drank this is real. I heard they put like poop in it. There's a poop cocktail. Zipper, look up martini with blue cheese. Is the poop in the pee and the vodka? I don't care about this. Show them. He's got a fucking answer. He's not playing. Is he on playing right now? Yeah, yeah.

Bad friend alert. I did, I thought he'd be it before they got on the plane. Thank you. A blue cheese dirty martini. That's A. That's not. It's got three. It's got one results.

Damn. It's getting good, bro. The recipe has one review. This shit's getting good. No one's tricking this shit, bro. It's got one review. They all have like one. review. Nobody's making this shit out.

No, who did I? Oh my god. Someone I knows like dad ordered this. Yeah, like one time. Literally one. It's the only reason I know it. Freak. And I literally looked at it and was like, that's the most disgusting thing I've ever seen in my life. Yeah, that's pretty weird. Who did that? I don't remember who did that. Dude, I have a, I have surgery tomorrow, boys. Dude, are you gonna? It's the same thing, but it's a little more complicated because it's on my

left side of my heart. So I just want you to basically, I have one request. If I die on the table. You guys have to kill the ice coffee hour guys. Zwo bien. That's how you'd say on the left side in Chinese. It's on my Zwaubian. Muibien. Muibien. So, sorry.

You want to kill two human beings and go to jail for You have to go to jail. Well, if you do it right. So, well, we've just said it. Seconds ago, seconds ago you got mad at me because you said you told a viewer you would kill a drug job accident and now you're asking me

to kill somebody on your behest. only if something happens to me. And it's not even a random chatter whose identity. I don't even know. Do you think that makes it better? Yeah, because I couldn't feasibly kill them because I don't know them. Like when I say I'd kill you drunk driving. So what do you want me to do then?

What is my fucking wish supposed to be? This can be your death wish. It's just like a pretty big ask. I'm sorry. Oh, I'm sorry. Is it too big for you for my friends to lift? And can we sidebar about it? Can we sidebar?

Sidebar? Sidebar. Sidebar. What are you thinking? Both? Both? Both. Both?

I think one. One. You want Mario or Luigi, God? I don't want, it's a good question. Brother, I don't think we can kill either. I don't think I can kill.

Okay. Well, how we make the BAB? I think we did it. We tell them we're gonna punch them, beat them up. Okay. That's a good plan. We could spar them. We could spar them.

All right. Hey, we're good. So we've made an decision. Okay. We've agreed that we're going to spar them instead. Bar fight. It's a 2 v.2. Me and Ludwig versus both of them.

can we incorporate broken bottles and pull cues? If they're in the bar, of course. Yeah, it's a fucking bar fight man. It's a bar, it's a real bar. It's wrong. You know, it's like fair. It's like if they're not using a broken bottle, I'm not going to be the first one. I'm going to hit him as hard as I can. If he goes down and his pulse is gone, that's just how the bar fight went. And if we die, I mean, we die. Sure. I mean, that I appreciate that. Because I, I would never, I'm asking you guys for some sort of like, again, like a cool. Can I ask why this is your wish? Because you could wish for anything.

Because they were rude to you in a context I didn't like. Right. So, okay. Next question. Are there other wishes you would have? If that never happened. Yeah. Colin and Samir.

What about them? Them, they get them. Okay. Haven't they gone through enough? Let's, yeah. Everyone's gone through a lot. They're homeburned down. They didn't live together.

They were homosexuals. They were at the time. They were choosing that lifestyle. living together is a homosexual. That's what it's home. That's why it's called home. That's true. I was a homosexual with Josh for like a year. And we were homosexuals for many years. Yeah, we were many, yeah, many years.

Best fucking years in my life. We enjoyed his homosexuals. Let's say that didn't happen. If that didn't happen? Well, I guess I would want you guys to, to, uh, I don't know. It's so much harder for him to think of actual. Go to, I think I would want you to have the craziest mini golf experience of a lifetime. like put like a hundred bands on it. Yeah like yeah.

Like something crazy. The highest stakes mini golf tournament. The highest stakes. Slime Anthony Bruno race for the cure mini golf extravagance. We rent and a hierarchy of Camelot golf. Only our homies can go. It's like a two day event.

Yeah. The race to remember 50 states, 50 holes. Wow. And we do one one, one new golf course in every state. One hole only. I like that. You got to sleep on the on the course. Yeah, you got to urban camp.

Yeah. And if you get caught, restart the run. Oh, no. You restart the run. That's false. Restart the run. That's just a lifetime. No, how about this?

If you get caught, you have to go to another one in the state. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That was fair. Now, this is a good stream. You get a bunch of streamers. Everyone gets to design their own mini golf course. Okay.

There's the hole. Every streamer designs their own hole and all the other streamers play everyone else's holes. Oh, and it's 18 streamers playing it together. Yes. And everyone has to put up 10K. Yes. But here's the deal.

You can make your hole as hard as you want because you also have to play. it. It's like when you do Super Mario Maker. You'd want the tech YouTuber side. Oh yeah. You need the William Osmans. You need the Michael Reeves. The fucking, yeah. I think if it was only them doing it,

would be cool. Well, maybe it'd be too, it'd be too crazy at that point. You want some normalcy. Yeah, like we'll be doing like one. Yeah. My hole's the jizz hole. Yeah. And come rains down on you. It's like cutting. Comes like on the course and it slows the ball down. My hole's the Jackie hole.

You have to use the jacky hand to put. it's like the hands swinging towards you yeah it's like yes it's a step here pull your pants down and you're just going to line up right with kind of where the hands at what's your guys is dying wish let's say you were getting a heart emblation for PVC's on your left side

I feel like you shouldn't give people like the code to the flip or zero for you like you're telling them where to punch you no like that's exactly where I'm weakest my Achilles heel is right here if anyone wondered uh my dying wish um That's a good question.

I want you guys to all buy Xbox 360s and make accounts. And I want you to cue Mono Warfare to at least once a year together. Once a year, it's all I want. I can do that. And play that game. The day that I die, you have one month to finish all of One Piece. The whole thing. Can we do it together?

You can do it together, but you cannot do One Pace. That is harder. Can't do one, sorry? one pace. You have to watch it all cuts out the filler. Oh, okay. You have to watch the whole thing Natty 1,200 apps. I'll do that for you. It's genuinely harder than murdering two podcasters.

It is about 400 hours. It's murdering two podcasters, but it's the guys watching. Actually, is that feasible in a month? I know. Have you poop sock? No, it's not. Well, it is. I mean, it's 400 hours. There's 732 in a month. There's 162 hours in a week. Yeah, there's 732 hours in a month.

you do it. You can do it. When you die, your brain would be much. You might have like kids when you die. Yeah, so I mean,

that's your problem, I think. But yeah. My shit to deal with. That's your shit to deal with. How long? I have one month to do it. Yeah,

but to be fair, it's from where you're at. So if you're already like, if you get ahead of it. I could start now. He's going to China on a bike, bro. We should start now. So if I,

so if I watch all of one piece this year. Right. And then you die. I don't owe you anything. You don't owe me anything. No. that's a good deal. No, you're good.

I might need to start one. That's because you, like, in the same sense that if we did a bar fight against the ice coffee hour guys, we don't owe him anything when he dies. We already fulfilled them all. You won't. If we kill those guys dead.

Yeah, fight them. If I punch one so hard. Why are you doing that? His face vacuumed to the back and he no longer is waking up. Hearing the words. I don't owe you anything when you die? I mean, no.

I paid it. I mean, it's not, look, it's not about. owing things it's a wish it's a it's a want right no you owe if you appreciated our friendship we're close enough as friends to where I do feel like I owe it you because because you know I would do I would play Xbox for you I didn't might make mine a lot easier yeah I was like okay sure yeah I can do that really you guys need to teach Lacey geometry okay well I know what do what is that's what you solve world peace what is geometry shapes it's like it's like the

math of shapes. Like is calculate the third side of it? Is the Pythagorean theorem geometry? Yes. I think that's, well is it trigonometry

which is probably underneath geometry the umbrella of geometry. Is that trig? I don't think it's trade. It's all triangles. Pythagorean theorem is A plus B equals C or whatever. That's the...

Okay. So that's Trig. Yeah, it's a triangle. Triagonometry. Strig is where you started doing fucking cubes and shit. Well, he's saying it's only triangles. No, it's only triangles.

No, I'm saying, did I say trig? I said trig. Geometry. Geometry is more. But geometry is easier than trig. No, because it's more. But I thought you did trig after geometry. No, it just sounds like that.

Okay, because it does sound like that. It does sound like that. Does it literally mean math of the world? Geography. Geometry. Geometric is shape. Geo. But geography,

geo. What is the Latin root geo? Is a branch of mathematics concerned with properties of space? geometry along with arithmetic what does geo mean zipper geo prefix

can you just look up like what does the root geo mean earth land or ground like Gaia like the mother of Zeus yeah you can be a geomancer in Final Fantasy you could Gaia Gaia birthed Zeus along with Poseidon in Hades one more Google after fucking chronos

before we get out of here what does geo mean in geometry the same thing bro learning is so cool Oh, AI's gonna tell you some throw-up. It's the same thing, bro. Earth measurement, bro, I kind of clutch that. No, you weren't bad out there at all.

You genuinely weren't bad there. Let's go, dude. Yeah, so we teach Lacey Geometry. We just have to show him this. I'll show you geometry. La-L-L-L-Lan-Lan-Ler-Libmob! No! Oh, wait, no, I forgot the neural chip. You can't see it.

Oh, my god, you forget the chip. Oh, shit! And you just fucking bustings. How does this one work? What are you doing it? Why are you jerking it sideways? I'm going like, it hurts! Why you can't...

You're gonna make it no permanent J-shunders. You're gonna make it no permanent hamburger. Oh! Whoa! Cake flip the Jackie Hand? This is the premium episode, I guess. So I guess we'll... No, we're doing the main.

This is the main? Yeah. There's a group chat. You don't believe. You don't pay attention to us. You said we're doing preem. You said, that was... No, that was an hour to half?

No, it's a 60 minutes, dude. You're crazy. You're crazy, dude. He said, no. I said that was an hour to half. It's been an hour. It's been an hour. And there's a man up.

And the main up's hour or half. this is the premium. This is the main. This is the main. I said, that was an hour and a half. He said, no.

Because it hasn't. It's been 60 minutes so far. Oh, I thought he gave us the thumb up. No, he said, he said, he did something he's never done.

Do you see, do you see why I'm confused? He also says a premium. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Interesting. Because I was wondering,

I was like, why is it for giving us a time? It's kind of nice. We know when it's six minutes. I could have sworn he said we're doing preview. No, I, I offered it, but I forgot about the surgery.

That's right surgery And he's getting surgery You guys didn't read that damn Gruttee I read it I read it bro I've been playing

fucking mic out every day And I'm gonna stop now And I'm gonna live in the world And you're gonna stop saying Evil shit to people No Well I so this is It makes you mad

Right We're talking about Liam getting mad And what I notice He does and I do this too Is then you come to stream And you're like I was too mad yesterday And you come nice

I've done that And so and so Liam comes in He's like Hey guys hope you're all Having a great day today It's like the That's like the, what is what happened on you? Like, are you okay?

Are you a gunpoint today? Do you want something? And I'm doing the same thing. Yeah, I had a particular grumpy day on league and I was like, that was too much. Yeah, it was too much. Sometimes too much. I'm a grumpy guy, but sometimes it's too much. And then you come back sweet.

Yeah, yeah. And then you fucking, a piglin shoves his axe in your ass. Yep. Back to old tricks. Yep. Back to San's crazy shit to people. Do you think we're going to be so good? it talking to talking about video games to the next generation like when we're like 50 you know our

parents like it's like they're like what's Mario? Are we gonna be that version of that for their stuff or will we be like so much better because it's just different strokes? I've thought about I've thought about this in the sense of the information age change things and the gap between like Gen X and millennials the internet being a thing is so much different than like boomers in GenX or something right it's just so fucking crazy different so yes I think we have a Lego because we pass through this unbelievable threshold, we'll always be able to understand when the new, like, vibe-coded AAA, like, Eldon Ring 7 comes out.

We'll be able to engage with that genuinely because we understand it. But, like, the internet fried a whole generation. Yeah. It was just a filter. I heard from Cutie's nieces and nephews, there was a great meme reset. No shit.

Yeah. Like, we... Where we at now? Does that mean we can go back and use the old ones? Or does that mean we have to get rid of all the old ones? and we can't use them anymore. I think it's get rid of the new ones when I think the old ones are.

Guess who it is. Edin? Hey, sweetheart. Hey, what's up? Sorry, I didn't have service. Wait, wait, wait. Mute. Say, give him the guvus 30 seconds.

Give it. Wait, what? You ask for 30 seconds. I need 30 seconds and then I'll talk to you. Don't leave the phone. Okay. Okay, we're all at the bar. What do we order, Aidan?

Everyone give you your guess. Gin and tonic. I'm going to go light beer, like a Modelo or like a Corona. Yeah. Are we going to ask him in the content? a wedding? Yeah. Um,

a beer. I think that's the right answer. What kind of beer? You can't just say a beer. He has a beer. Yeah. Oh, no, he doesn't want like an eye

but you have the right answer, I think. I'm switching to sprite. I want you to Sprite. I want you to Sprite. Okay. All right. Hey, sweetheart. Hey.

Okay. If, if we're at a wedding, let's say we're at like Ben's wedding like we were a couple weeks ago and someone gets up to get drinks for the table, what would you prefer they get you without you needing to like ask or what?

what would you what would you want like ludwig got us got me a diet coke what what is your drink could be anything at the wedding oh just just default no questions asked probably but specifically at a wedding specifically at a wedding oh um like and ludwig comes with a glass or whatever it is and you're like yes just probably just probably a beer kind of beer important oh man I don't kind of beer bro

like a you know like a a medella or like a I just knew you I literally knew it bro dude

you just gave you just gave Hollywood Jones everything oh my gosh he gave you you know what I guess a gin and tonic

what I don't know. And I said, I said, I said, Ludwig just has the right answer, so I'm gonna say Sprite. Oh my God, I'm such a fucking God. Well, he also nailed the beers. I nailed both beers.

I said it in the same order too. I said Modelo, maybe Corona. Yes, Ludwig. The guy who fucking hates you and doesn't like you, knows you better than anyone. I know you to a fucking tea, bro. I know every part of your body inside out. Especially inside.

Oh my God. So you're, all right, so you're going to have to deal with that. Okay, be safe on your way back. You know what? I changed my mind. I changed, I'm changing. Gin and tonic? I'm changing my answer to water.

Okay, bye. Yeah, dude, I know him inside out. Damn, you nailed him to the wall. I nailed both beers. Isn't that crazy? That is fucked up, bro. That's crazy. Yeah, you did really good work here.

Yeah, I'm beast mode. This is Hollywood Jones's episode. I've never even seen him that excited. to know something about his friends. I know. It's a different guy. We need to create little games for him to win, but it's just based on like knowing us.

Nick Ball. Yeah, that is Nick Ball. We need an episode two. Nick Paul is what you're saying. I don't think I won Nick Ball. Who won? I don't even remember. I didn't get any medal or trophy.

It's the thing about Nick Balls. It's not about who went. The journey. It's the journey. That's what people have to learn. What the hell is the first one called? Nick Quiz. Nick Quiz and Nick Ball are different games.

Are they? Yeah. Nick Quiz. was the first one with the briefcase of money. And Nick Ball wasn't about me. It was a game I made. You ever watch back like a comedy compilations or something

or like a part of an old episode and you're like, I don't remember saying even close to anything like that. Constantly. Today when you said the drunk driving thing. I don't. Because like that doesn't even feel like this. I wouldn't say, I would be like,

if you, I caught you drunk driving, I'd say give me the keys. It's like a week ago. I'd say give me the keys. The me of my 20s, I don't even remember that guy. I agree past him. I will say,

when I hear myself say something back, I'm like, well, he's spitting. I just don't remember it. Yeah, I often completely forgot I said that. Just so much hard for you. But I always know, like, when I say, when I do say something, I can feel that I've said it before.

Like here, specifically on the show. And sometimes I just ignore that and go, someone, this is someone's first episode. Who care? I always like saying, we've talked about that before. Because if I don't, my brain will explode. Yeah.

in a in a sort of a OCD context. But what can you do? What I really like doing is saying something, forgetting it and then saying it again and someone says you said that before. And then I was like, it must be a good thought. Yeah,

I really wanted to say it twice. He covered your ass. But that Neil deGrasse Tyson tweet, which we've also said on here. What is that? That BB8 only skids on sand. He cannot actually move, so it's unrealistic.

Not that one. It's the one where it's like the only place you can truly kiss yourself as a mirror or whatever. And he's someone found, like he tweeted that. Oh my God. Saw that he's actually tweeted that like 300 times. Dude, it's like Ben Shapiro always tweets like on Happy Mother's Day.

He tweets something stupid. It's like happy indiscriminate gendered parent day. And it's the same joke every time. And he's like, he's like, I'm fucking spinning. You might have them scheduled for a hundred years. His tomb will just display it every time. Oh, well, too guys. What's gotten there, by the way?

Can I ask? Yeah. What's in there? Ice coffee with half and half? Oh, half and half, huh? No, two percent. No, I'm a half and a half guy now. Okay.

I don't know what it is. Kind of bulk? No, I'm skinny, bro. You're trying to bulk now? I'm 178. Oh my! Dude, some... You couldn't have been that

during that indiscriminate game show that we played? I would be more with clothes. You were an idiot still. That nondescript game show where everything hinged on that? Yeah, and he guessed, like, the dumbest guess of all the time.

You guess 177? Yeah. Oh my God, so much doing different than what you said. And I had clothes off. Wow, so far from what you said? And there was a, what was it, a two pound, uh, uh, zone of failure? Do you know how much clothes way? Like, how much do you think I weigh right now?

If I said I'm 177. Uh, or 178? You said you're 178. How much do you're one? How much do I weigh if I stood on a scale right now? Like all your clothes on? I weighed once in a day this morning. Maybe like 184.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I thought you were less than that. That's a big difference. You thought I was 171? Oh my God. I'm so sorry. You're a law count instead.

You're big and fucking chubby and disgusting. You're a fucking fat ass. If you want, the guy who gives you the least weight in his guess, you're mad at him? Dude, there is some sort of like homunculus casting a spell

because Ludwicks is skin tis. I'm the baddest I've ever been. Something, some transfer is happening. I see it. I mean, sure. Oh! You know?

Kiss that baby. I mean, it's like, I don't know. It's something. Dude, I'd love to you naked doing like a lie down pose. You honestly? Pay me one of your French girls.

Can you, um, yeah. Can you walk me through a day, what is your day's diet right now? Right now it's great. I told you about the peanut butter problem, right? Did he mention the peanut butter problem? No. I didn't. He has not mentioned the peanut butter problem.

It's like a veritacium thumbnail. The peanut butter problem. Basically, I had this phase. You can only jerk off into it if it's a full tub. So what do you do if you want to enjoy some of the peanut butter? I had this phase. I would get up, I would get up at midnight and I would play balotra for like four hours. Right.

And then, uh, and then I would go into the kitchen and I'd eat like a quarter of a jar of peanut butter. What are you laughing at? And then, you're the only human on earth who's doing all those things in that order. Like,

you're the only one. I, I don't have self control with it. Yeah. Genuinely, I don't have self control. And so I, what do you eat it with?

With a spoon. So, but the thing is, so wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, time. I'm not eating a lot. What kind of peanut butter are you getting? not done. What did you say? What peanut butter do you get? Giff crunchy. Crunch okay.

Like is it the big one? It's big one. You get the big one. If I eat, yeah, it's not the normal one. Because the normal one, you'd only be able to do like, I would clean it quickly. Two nights. Two nights, the normal one's gone. Yeah, it'd be like, it'd be like a 50 cow round. How many times is the spoon re-entering the jar? Oh, in a session. Ask me. It's a good question. Don't ask me. In a sash. So like one sash. I, okay, genuinely I'm eating like probably an inch and a half. How many spoonfuls? What's the diameter?

I mean, I think this is a better measure of it, right? Because like how many spoonfuls it take? I don't know, sometimes. Well, I just want to I spoon peanut butter. I spoon it like, uh,

Somolier would scoop like butter. Like I do the, like the curl method. Oh, you're scraping a little bit? Scraping. No, I don't,

I don't savor this. I just dump it. So you just go. I do ice cream. Yeah, I ice cream. You do an ice cream scoop. So you're doing like three ice cream scoes.

Directly it. And three ice creams is made. Until, again, this is a good measurement. I was fucking You just, come on a bite? Because I put in my mouth and I suck on the spoon for a bit.

I don't suck. You're a sucker. I know you're a sucker because I see you suck. Because it's stuck on the spoon. Well, I just get, my tongue is very strong. I lick it off. Okay.

So really ice cream. It is all ice cream all the way. And so you're crunching the peanuts and the peanut. And I'm like, this is fucking heaven on earth. And then you're done. And then, so after that, I'm still a little hungry,

so I would make a, I would make like a bagel. That was the appetizer. Basically, I'm eating like... What do you mean make a bagel? I would like coast a bagel. And then do what with it? And eat the bagel. Is there a reason?

Just like whatever. Is there a plain? Like mostly plain. Sometimes with a little bit of ham. A ham bagel. Okay, so I start off with an appetizer of some scoops of peanut butter. And then for the second course, we're going right into a ham bagel. This is also happening at like four of the morning.

Or a plain bagel. So which is crazier because you could have put the peanut butter on the bagel. That's exactly what I was doing. I don't want that. That's too dry. Too dry. It's too dry. peanut butter on a bagel is too dry

I don't want it Can I ask how it's less dry when they're separate? Can I ask how it's less dry When it's on a plain bagel? I think I liked eating the components Of these foods Is it a bagel toasted? More than I like

Yeah, it's toasted Very dry What's in the ham bagel? It is dry but the ham It is it nice What's in the ham bagel? Just a piece of ham? Piece of ham?

Yeah, just a piece of ham I don't like putting butter on shit Is it ham? Is it burger style? Or is it? Burger? I don't eat a half So you burger style

You burger? It's a ham? you've made a hamburger out of bagel and ham what's they call a prison hamburger and on the roof his mouth you still smack in peanut butter you're also trying to get the peanut butter off here no no but I'm finished with the peanut butter when the bagel eats my mouth

does the peanut butter provide a atmosphere in your mouth that makes the bagel more enjoyable at all these are not linked they're just the things I have at home that I like to eat I'm not looking at these like you can't have one without the other what I'm drinking topa chick with lime out of a bottle you love those you can genuine question, not trying to be mean. Do you consider this the end or beginning of your day?

That's mean. That's a good question. It's actually not mean. I think it's a good question. Is this breakfast or dinner? You know what? It's a hard one to answer because my sleep schedule was, I've been fixing it, slowly chipping at it. But it's been fucked up because I'll sleep at like in the afternoon or I'll fall asleep like eight, wake up at midnight, be up for four hours, play video games and like do this editing work that I'm doing, and then eat this fucking crazy meals. And then fall asleep. begin and then go to the pot or whatever because we work like essentially four days out of the week right and that is when my day begins i would say but the time in between i don't consider an end or a beginning it doesn't it's not it's neither and that's confusing for my body anyway this diet led to most likely weight gain but also but also because i'm not eating a lot of food in the daytime so i i'm kind of doing like rough calorie counting but i think i just didn't account for how much peanut butter

to you. Peanut butter is crazy. But also the amount of like two table spoons of peanut butter. Oh, it's 190 calories. That's right. Yes. And I guess a tablespoon is less than I thought. Yeah, you are roughly eating. It sounds like six tablespoons. I don't think it's six. If it's an inch and a half, it is, it may be five. It's probably six. So here's what happens when you do mental calorie tracking. You do probably. Probably. You do it's probably. It's probably. And maybe, and maybe you have like, maybe you have like a scoop of peanut butter or like like a tortilla. Like I had three tortilla. chips. You don't count them. No, I don't count them. Because they add up. Should be counting. Because they add up. This is what I've learned. I'm counting calories the first time in my life. But yeah, so this all led, but it also led to an acid reflux situation that is miserable. And again, peanut butter is a culprit here. So I have basically, I'm not allowed to have it in my house. I am not, I die. Peanut butter gives you acid reflux. Well, if I eat it in the way I did and then

lay down. Yeah, if you lay down it, if you can go to bed right after you eat it, I'm creating an insane situation. I couldn't imagine like air and blood trying to move around peanut butter. Like you get a shit done a peanut butter and your body's like fighting to push through it at fucking 4.m. It's like an entire act of osmosis Jones trying to get that shit out. It doesn't confuse me but I sort of there's a mental cope that happens with like weight and exercise and stuff is like I'll go out. My exercise routine is three minutes jump roping. Wait 30 seconds three minutes three times right. So that's nine minutes of jump roping and then two rounds on the bag. Yeah. three minutes, which is pretty good. That's good. And I can do that.

I don't like, uh, I don't quit. I just do it. So I would say that my, my cardio is good, but it's like, I'm jumping around with this like fucking fat peanut butter like,

like fucking bulges. Uh, which is hilarious. Yeah. Must be hilarious. To see. To see. Yeah.

One, there's a guy that moved in next to me. He can see me from his window. I was doing deadlifts outside in my boxers in my backyard. Mm. And he closed his blinds. And I said, that's right, bitch. That's right, bitch.

Yeah, I used to do the cold baths in my house in my backyard. My neighbor could see me and I did them butt-ass naked. And I saw them outside once. And I was like, I can't. You were butt-ass, really? I was butt-ass. Like, dick and balls? Dick and balls out.

Because I just- It's your own backyard. I just, like, worked out. And so I was like, oh, I don't want to get my underwear wet. Dude. And so- Getting out micro and your neighbor can see you, you're like, oh, man, it's not usually like this either. Oh, man.

If anyone's looking, just know. Also, I can't do that. I think I would do that, but I live, like, a couple doors down from, like, a Montessori school. So there's kids. There's kids in the morning and the afternoon. So I just don't do that. When I made eye contact, or, like, I saw that,

I didn't make eye contact, but I saw the person, I stopped doing a thing. Stop being butt ass. I wasn't like. Sitting on the porch with the peanut butter like this, with the kids, you're, like, you're, like, holding the spoon out. I was like, you want some.

Dude, I, I've become a bit of an enforcer. This is my, you know, Northern Lion had his like playground park arc? No. Where he was trying to like, he was arguing with the city of like some, I'm paraphrasing it. But he was having a battle with something that was happening at a park for a public good. Oh, that was annoying him. But basically, I turn into my street and these people will sit and pick up their kids. And these are like rich people because it's the Montessori school.

They'll pick up their kids and they'll park in a red spot where if you are coming around the corner and you're not alert, you probably hit them really easily. And this happens a lot. So I have now resorted to stopping. Like I go, I park, I walk up to them and I say, can't do that. You can't do that. There's kids running around. You cannot do that.

I come around here, people will hit you. You want your kid to get hit? And then they really don't like confrontation, which is great because I win. And I want the neighbor to be safer because it's fucking annoying, but also like, they're picking up their children and they're parking in this spot. So I go up and I go, and this one guy, he's like, I talk to him. I was like, can't do that. You can't do that. He's like, okay, okay, I'm sorry. And then I walk back to where my house is

and he drives up. He's like, who are you by the way? And I was like, I live right here. Peanut butter. I live right here. I live right here, bitch, and I'm the peanut butter goblin. And then I showed him my fucking, I showed him my tongue and I said, what do you think of this? I'm butt ass. I'm butt ass in about 10 minutes out there. I'll be back there. Boxers. Nine minutes on the jump rope. Can you do nine? Can you do nine? How about you on the bag? Kill yourself. Guy looked like Liam Neeson with his dumb ass little kid

who I wanted to protect a drunk driving accident I'm in the neighborhood watch I am in the neighborhood watch It's badass It's fucking annoying bro It's because if they cannot spend two seconds going down the street

Parking and walk their kid to school They have to park in the red spot So I've been I also talk to the teachers there I'm like hey you gotta tell these guys They can't do this It's dangerous they're like we do They don't do anything And the moment she said that

I was like I will do this I will be your protector I will fucking stop these people from doing this. Lady, I'll be here, protector. Lady, it's me. I show up, peanut butter. I got it on my face like poo bear.

Peanut butter is awesome. I'll give you that. Can you look up, peanut butter, baby? That's classic. Classic shit. I just want to look at it one more time. Peanut butter is... Wait, did we get past that meal?

What? Okay, so there's that. Yeah. And then... That's the only thing we got. Oh, true. And then I'll, like, go to sleep. And then I'll wake up.

I'll come here. And then... What do you eat? I don't eat anything here. You don't have any sacks? No, I still... quitting those protein bars because they're fucking 900 calories. What?

I'll have a... I'll grab a bag of trail mix. They're like 140 to 240? No, they're at least 200. They're 220 anything. And then I'll grab... What's... The kids...

Why did they let this happen? I don't know. This is the shit they're doing that Montessori school. I think they walked in on it. Oh, the hair is disgusting. It's really hard to look at. Did they spray him down? No, she did it, bro.

The fucking evidence... No, I'm talking about afterwards. Afterwards, yes. Just to clean it. Yeah. Like, take him in the car wash. Dipping him in the sink. She keeps going.

Okay, well. Fucking white people, bro. I think you eat the trail mix. That's confusing. But you don't eat the protein bar. I'll grab a trail mix. Okay, because the trail mix is 190. The protein bar is 220.

Fine. But the protein bar is meant to, it is a bulking agent, right? No. Yes, that's what it is. It's fat and protein. It's a bulking agent. I don't think that protein...

That's what protein bars are supposed to do. This was in mean girls. No. You made her eat the Swedish. bars. You got to eat that protein somehow. I'm pussy too. Yeah, but there's equal or more fats in nuts. Sure, maybe nuts are the culprit here, but I'm saying

I grab the trail mix because it's a mix. It's a mix of things. It's nuts, the little Eminem's, it's raisins. The protein bar, I'm like, that has a utility purpose. I'm not seeking right now. Okay. Anyway, grab it. I go home and then I'll order a demure sweet green salad or some shit. Because I guess before that I wasn't eating the salads. I would get

I would get like a burrito I'll get like a burrito And that's it This is your adjusted diet No no the salads are the adjustment Salads no peanut butter That's the adjustment But back it was like burrito

And then the peanut butter And apparently it's too much So are you too much So are you saying your new diet Is a dry bagel at 4 a.m I don't eat the bagel I don't eat anything So you eat a salad a day

I ate a salad And then I'll eat a bagel sandwich I've now upgraded to cheese and sandwiches Sometimes Okay Sometimes, but I don't eat at like the anals of midnight. Yeah, okay. Because it's just, I got this gurd shit.

Yeah, any food after 11 p.m. is always bad. And the inals of the night have ruined my body. You should do Ramadan. The thing is, you're up early enough? I've, I just, I've, I just, I'm already so Muslim. And I got to be Chinese in a month. I got to be Chinese in a month. And it's just so much shit on my plate.

You would love Ramadan. Me? Yeah, bro. You'd kill it. I don't think I would love it. You can't drink. You wake up early. I know the facets of Ramadan.

But you're already almost doing it. No, I eat a big meal after like at like 8 or 9 p.m. Who would you pray to you five times a day? You can eat. You can do that. What? You can eat a big meal. That's what you do.

Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry. Yeah, yeah. But then I like you don't want to get up. Yeah, and if you just woke up early, which sometimes you like to do it anyway. I don't have to get up crazy early. You would. It is difficult. You can't swear? That's some real Ramadan shit.

It's like all good things. But it sounds like the charity thing. It's like, you know. Do honestly the hardest part would be reciting and learning the Quran. Yeah, yeah. That would be the hardest part. I think you're supposed to, if you're not necessarily religious, when you could replace these things with other things. Like instead of the Quran, it could be like the Wikipedia for Metal Gear Solid.

Lower your gaze. I didn't know about that one. Anyway, guys, that's our podcast. We did that today. Yeah. If you're supposed to go. If you're celebrating Ramadan or beating off in front of your grandma, Jackie Han can help you. So if you go to the Patreon,

you can get early access to this product. You can be a founding member, a founding member. You are going to join our, well, what's that Kickstarter? A Kickstarter. What is a Kickstarter?

Where you never get the product. You never get the product. It's much like a leverless controller or something like that. You just never happen and never get it, but you can be a part of something. Part of it, much bigger thing than you. And that's beautiful. So pick your grandma out today.

Pick your grandma today. We'll see you next week.