The Yard - Ep. 240 - Slime Finally Won..

Episode Date: March 4, 2026

This week, the boys talk about Slime’s hospital videos, Ludwig participating in an upcoming MrBeast video, and how Slime finally won... Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

He doesn't respect it anymore. Aiden stresses you out. Aiden stresses you out. Aiden stresses you know what suffers from it? D&D. And I, and I hate that. Aiden, why does D&D suffer? Because if Aid, if you liked Aiden more, I think you'd make more time to record D&D with us. I'm not going to jump on that side of the fight.

I think it's an Aiden. I think it's Aiden. Dude. I think it's Aiden. It's an Aiden thing. Dang. He's right. That's all I'm trying to say.

You're accepting both premises. that you both have a problem with Aiden and you also don't make time for D&D. I don't make time for D&D. Because it's clear. And it's because of Aiden. Because of Aiden. I love being right.

I need a break from the Epps and it's because of Aiden. It's because you have to sit next to him. Is it the smell? Right next to him. It's everything, bro. He doesn't even roll the dice correctly. Well, how?

How does he roll the dice? Do like an Aiden roll. Okay. How would he? Because he doesn't know what the fuck of D-20 looks like for the 40th. Episode Ron.

He won in force. Dude. I can't roll above a 10. He can't roll. He can't roll. He can't roll. He can't roll. Dude, I found out recently,

because we had to do a couple episodes of that Ludwig, unfortunately, because Dave's schedule and Ludwig's schedule, but. Stonebeard's gone. Stonebeard's gone for a little bit, but I found out I wasn't adding my plus eight

to my attack rolls. Oh. That's why I was failing. So, like, for hating the role. Yes. Yeah. Ever. That's, dude,

that's, in the early game. What's crazy is, you still hit like a lot. I still hit pretty good. I'm pretty lucky. Yeah. But otherwise I was like, yeah, these fights just seem hard. Yeah. Game is hard. But yeah, I found that out like the other day. How, I mean, I can't imagine a world without Stonebeard. Don't even play. Don't even start with me. We just did a world without Stonebearing. Guess what it was fucking electric. That's what you guys fucking said. And I think you said it to make me jealous. No. Hey, dude. We were not just talking about you.

Not at all. Why don't you have a seat right over there? Why don't you have a seat right there? I heard you've been messaging this 14 year old girl Have a seat right there Yeah just have a seat I have and that 14 year old girl's name Scott Galloway What about that? I don't know

It's like a baseball He's a 14 year old girl That I do Zoom calls with That I do Zoom calls with Video chats on That's really cool And she's She's bald

And has glasses Oh my God And is really concerned About the economic prospects Of the young people Who the fuck is Scott California? 14 year old girl. It's a 14. I couldn't have been

more there. I feel like he's very clear about this. Oh my God. I was doing a joke but it turns out my best friend. Oh my God, there she is. Wow. She's Dude, Aiden, she's too fucking young. That is disgusting, brother. You talk to that guy? Yeah. Yeah. We were talking about how you don't know how to roll a dice on D&D.

Yeah. Like physically you don't. It's weird because it's like it's only it's only when it has to do with the crap. Bo blown idiot. D. He made a crab, dude. It's a whole thing. It's really interesting. He made another crab. It's very interesting.

And you weren't there. You'll have to listen some other time, which I hope you will. But maybe you will. Maybe you won't. Could be your family. Anytime I'm not here, I always listen. I listen to the one you guys did while I was getting my devastating, life-threatening surgery. And it was funny because you guys called me out what I'd be mad about.

And then I messaged Nick. I was like, I'm still right and you're still wrong. He was mad about it. About what? You said you were to a pizza place in New Hampshire. And then he, it was a couple episodes ago, you guys did a bit where you're like, oh, you make a million pizzas.

And you explained where you used to work and how you could make a million pizzas. I was blinded by a million pizza rage during that. I didn't even hear that part. It's a great bit. And then I, to Nick, I'm like, you should have fucking remembered. I am fucking right.

If I, what, because he said he cowered like a dog. Yes. I was like, instinctually flinched. Yeah. And I was like, oh, there's nothing to hurt me. And I was like, if I was there with a newspaper, but fucking, boom. I guess was swift.

I put my hand up threatening to hit him. any flinches every time. Yeah. Like, no, he's never not flinch. Does cutie still do it? Um, hit him? No flinch. Oh.

No. Like our real elderly, it's too, you get too old to hit. So you just do the motion. Yeah. But, you know, before that, it's, you can hit. Dude. You can hit. I was just sitting, brushing my teeth upstairs in the bathroom.

Swift walks in. And I took a mile to go potty like five minutes before that. And he just starts shitting in front of me. Yeah. And I'm like, Bro. We were outside for 15 minutes. He says, no, no, no, don't look away. He just starts shit. I pick them up mid shit.

Oh, yeah. And then I bring them out. And it starts just drop. It leaks. It leaks. It just drops. It was wet or dry? It's dry. I was dropping like a deer. Okay. That's honestly a blessing of the day. You know how when like reptiles are scared? They are they're running away. They like, they let loose all the liquid excrement in their body.

No, what the fuck are you doing a lizard? No, that's, no, that's cool. What are you doing to lizards, bro? No, that was probably like a dog The hell did you learn that from? What fuck did you learn that fucking weird? No, it's actually like really, I don't think, what did I say? A-Rug is the same thing when it's a guess he wasn't like.

Would you hear? Fucking excrement away. Did you guys see my, uh, my hospital video? Yes, dude, we see your hospital. I liked, I, dude, I got back from the surgery. Everyone saw your fucking, they stole my peanuts videos. I cut all these videos and then I just spent the whole day comment, gooning. It's very fun.

All the jokes were funny. I saw all the raw footage of the movie. I didn't know. Oh, you saw so. Yeah. I just want to say I don't something I'm very, I guess, proud of myself of. I didn't, I woke up, I don't remember half those. The first half of those videos, I literally don't remember. And then I kind of come to you

in the idea that I'm doing this. Is this your Steve-O Jackass moment? What's that? He didn't even remember doing half the fucking pranks. It's more that... I was so fucked up. I didn't even remember the fucking pranks. It's more that when in my sedated I didn't even fucking remember my fucking bits.

In my unconscious praying, in my unconscious mind, I just went, I woke up and started telling everyone that my penis was gone, that like by innate nature. Yeah. And then when I woke up to like a memory codified state, I was like, oh, that's what we're doing. And you continue. And I just continued.

And it's very weird to look back and see those like, I don't remember that one. It's better than what I do. When I'm halfway to the fucking death zone. What do you do? Rugged out. I'm going to kill Scott Galloway. I'm going to shoot the 14-year-old.

14 year old girl named Scott Galloway I just received info about Scott Galloway from a peer who has just met him in real life and talked to him extensively and that information is going to help me take him out it's going to directly correlate dude who's going to be the spiciest guest that that fucking dumbass over that bald dumbass interviews

right there wow it's a great question aiden don't answer you're not part of this conversation yeah right like why not Dasha did it that bitch Fuento that's what age jock Fwento. I call him.

Fento! It's weird. The Nazi arm band, you wear that every day. You wouldn't wear that arm band. You wear the arm bag, because I try to wear arm bands and generally. We're also like a joke, though, joke. A little joke. You selling that Epstein hoodie?

It could be him. I mean, we joke about it a lot, but Netanyahu is, you know, you're getting up there. You're climbing the ladder of interviewing people like that. You should have Lex Friedman on and then just pull. honk him. Like literally make him podcasts from a locker on the set. You should have Lex Freeman on and you should make his chair vibrate. So we'll do all that. Okay, cool.

We'll just do all of that. Speaking of manhunt, Mr. Beast fucking took you away. He did put you in a box. He did he hung me like a man. He also fucked everything up. So cring. No. You can just say who won or who didn't win. I can say some shit. Oh, it's cool. You hung out with a lot of awesome streamers. There was neon. Yep.

We had my boy, neon. We had my boy X. Okay, I got three questions. one, who gets the most pussy? Two, is neon lit? Or cringe? And three, was there palpable beef in the room? No, there was palpable beef. Really?

Yeah, so the first challenge, it's the only thing I'll leak, but the first challenge was everybody's portrait just on a wall. And everybody had one shot in a paintball gun and you shot who you wanted to get out. Oh. And let me tell you, there are some people who's portraits fucking got lit up,

like the Mona Lisa in a damned, like, global warming protest. Yeah, like a woman trying to fix the Mona Lisa. Yes. How many shots did you tank? There was a lot of shots levied. How many shots did I tank? How many people shot you, bro? I tanked two, but...

Two? Two shots. Out of 50? They were fucking who? They were misfired. Oh, they were... So you were just beloved. And your fans have bad aim.

I was beloved, yeah. I guess everyone fucking loved me. I don't know. Is that fucking weird? Oh, man. And it was just other streamers as the people who were trapped. 50 streamers and a bot. I think what I've learned over the years and we've seen these events where many

streamers come together, even once by, you know, like streamer games and shit, it is an insufferable environment because they're all trying to climb the top of the pyramid of attention. And it's like one guy on the street running around where the camera is enough. But then it's like a bunch of them or whatever. and they all just, they're all, it's like the theater kid Olympics.

Did you watch? Uh, no. Right. Am I right? No, I think we ended the conversation. Look,

if I'm wrong, if I'm wrong, it means the Mr. Beast environment calmed everyone down and they acted differently than they always would. And what does that mean?

The sedatives got kicked in? I tuned in to your stream from there. Yeah. And I felt like, I crack open this alt world where I'm looking at your stream room, but a little different with different lighting, and you're speaking French to a French streamer. And I started to imagine that this is the Ludwig.

This is just like alternate reality French Ludwig who still becomes a Twitch streamer. Dude, I could be, right now I could be such a successful French streamer. Yeah, it's a small pool. What would you do about not knowing the language very well? Huh? I would you conquer that. Wouldn't be a problem. That dude, you were talking to like damn French boy in a band.

And then he played Franchman for him. French boy in a band. Did you see this? He was 14. So he plays Franchman and they're talking about fucking their sister and then a man, it's an amazing clip if you don't know who's in background. And then a man walks in and you're like, oh.

And then he finally says like, fuck sister. And they're like started laughing and sits down. Mr. Beast, big teeth. Bonjour. It's insane. It's insane media piece is this clip. And I love to be in the shadows of this, this world of yours. Yeah, I wanted to show the French world your song.

He didn't love it. Why? He didn't understand? I'm French. He didn't love it. He was like listening. He's like, so he's saying every Frenchman fuck is he Sarah? And I'm like, I'm like, yeah.

I mean, that's kind of the... Dream come true. That's the premise of the song. And he goes, we don't all fuck our sister Oh, yeah, but the girls And he don't possess one, you can't fuck And I was like, well, the song actually addresses that Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Oh, man. And then didn't he keep saying he's like, We're not all in bread It is just a moment on the plane To France where I said, Wouldn't this be funny? And then it became something I did not stop saying for like a half of the year.

Can you find the clip? I think it maybe is on Slom's Twitter. It's on Twitter. Dude, yeah, that's also a Neme for context. He's like the biggest French streamer. Is he in the race? He is, yeah, he is in the right. He was in the race.

And the race, the race, the, the video game, the machine race that you did. You're talking about the F4. You drove machine. You drove machine. Right. You drove those beautiful machines. Okay.

I remember because I thought his name was anime. Yes. There is a guy called a mean as well. There's a meme. There's a, There's Amin and Anim. But anyway, Anim is the most... What?

And one can only tell lies and one only tells the truth. Yeah, exactly right. And he's the hottest young boy. Okay. He's the hottest young boy. Okay. Crazy to say age.

He's the hottest young boy. How old is he? Age. He's a little older than Scott. A little. A little. A little. A lot.

But like, in least six years old in the sky. He's French. Maybe he's French. He's French. He's French. Speaking of, speaking of unrequited lust, there at kelm i'm in the office right now kelby and christian and then christian's just like who's viny hacker what's he do and then kelby kind of like stop takes hands off his keyboard turns around he's

like viny hacker is amazing and christian you know how he is he's like oh why and then and then he's just like well he does cool content but he's also he's super hot he's just fucking hot and i'm like kelbo relax jose kelb i'm getting steamy listening and i was like don't tell your girlfriend he said, no, I mean, I mean, look, if any hacker wants her, he can have her. He's making a joke. I'm like, Kelby, I'm talking about you. Like, that's a young man. Like, you, you're cheating on your girlfriend if anything happened. He's like, oh, he would never want anything to do with me. This all happened. And I was, I was like, you have a little crush, don't you, Kelbo? And he's like, he would never want anything to do with me. And I was like, what about like a DILF adventure?

Oh my God, Kelby's DILF adventure. Sponsored by a T's sponsored by Red Bull. Her boarder opens probably. Kelby's Dilf adventure. Kelby and my girlfriend, bro. What? I'll never. Shoot.

She thinks Vinny Hackers hot. Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. It was at the Halloween party and she saw him across the party and she was like, is that Fini Hacker? Oh my God. And I was like, he is hot. Yeah.

And then she was like, he's kind of my crush. And I was like, what? And I'm standing there in my Playboy bunny costume for her. You were, oh my God. You looked amazing. Your job to us. I will say to her credit, every time you weren't around, she would be like, do you see him? Do you see Aiden?

Yeah, Vinny Hacker is breathtaking. Wow. And the Vinny Hacker versus Marlin streamer mug off. It's a tight race. That'd be a good undercard for Andrew. Well, Androgenics bald man. He's like, he's like comically hot. Yeah.

He's like if you draw a hot guy in a cartoon hot. Yeah, he's, you know he's hot based off if you just look through his TikToks. Because every TikTok, he doesn't say anything and she goes, Oh my God. You can run that shit.

No, I couldn't. You're older now, but you can run that. No, I could. You're handsome, what the fuck?

I think if you started, I think it's too late now. It's way too late. I think if he started from the beginning, because people now kind of, maybe if I started for, also, 30 and literally 40 in doing this,

kill yourself. Not to bring back such an antiquated term, but he's just, He's been a jester goon for too long to... Sure. To be... But also, I couldn't have done it when I first started, either. You could have...

You could have been talking about. Can you pull my YouTube channel? Oh, actually, no, play that clip first. Zipper... Zipper. Audio listeners, this is the clip of us with a name. Do you get a bit? Yeah, yeah. He has...

He fucked his sister. Yeah, he has been ex-s-s-sistered. Exactly. He fucked his sister. Hey, fuck my sister. Hello. Hello. It's unbelievable.

Because I was like, who's standing there? And it's like a fucking AI video prompt. It's damned Mr. Beast. Oh, if you both, you had just screamed in fear. Oh my God. It had cuts me to make everything better. Yeah, go to my YouTube channel. I'm telling you, I looked at an old clip of me, bro.

I was beat. You were beat. But yeah, and I know you guys have been glazing my shit on my tip for damn eight years. Like, you don't understand. Oldest? And then scroll down a bit till you see my face. I don't know, bro. In melee and shit, like, all the girlies were like,

like they were fawning over you. It was real deal, bro. Dude, you guys were fawning over me. Yeah, because you're hot as fuck the shit out. You just gave me the chance to fuck the shit out your ass. So I have a nicer camera. If I could just fuck the shit out you, you let me fucking rock your dumbass little gay world

and be crazy for you. You're scrolling until you look beat. And you haven't found yet. I'm scrolling until my camera wasn't a C-920 because a C-920 takes out all your blemings. All right, any of these are fine. All right, we're looking at, dude, yes. This is the guy.

This is the guy who you were fucking, dude. And I can't look away from all your blenishes. This guy had 99 matches in the corner at Tinder. You look exactly the same. Wait, you have this. I know I'm way hotter now. You look exactly like this guy. You have this idea of yourself.

It's like, no, I stalled my hair. It's like you have the 90% of the foundation. And then you do faces like that, which is hilarious also. You have, you have. You have maybe 15 to 20 extra pounds. He's making us glaze him. It's a tie up. I found it out.

I found it out. It was a little too late. It was a little too late. Shut up. Shut up. Yeah. You shut the fuck up. Yeah, I can't look away

from all your blemishes. Oops. I guess I look fucking good. I'm not okay. I don't mean this in any way. Fuck. I guess it looked fucking good. Did you close the tooth cap somehow?

I was wondering. I was not wondering that. It's bigger. It's bigger. It's bigger here. It's not. It's not. How did you change?

Jay, did you look at you? How does it? Are you wearing Invisal lines secretly? Wait, I have a bigger gap now than that. No, you don't. Not closed. Pause on the gap. There was a good shot in the beginning somewhere.

Just let it play. That version of you, that's red, blue pool. And now, and now it's like closed. Oh, right there was a good one. Yeah, a couple. Common. We're looking at a gigantic, just a, it's like his two front teeth are missing. How did you fix the gap?

Did you secretly fix it? What did you do? It's a lot bigger there. What are you talking about? What did you do? do tell us are you talking about y'all just be honest what you're we're fucking friends it doesn't matter

for the show just tell us a fucking truth I don't want to say it oh say it some nights I just go like this do you push together you're not fucking with me I hold it for 10 minutes no and I close it to go no he did I tried I tried to get to the truth but I ran

to a brick wall just like Aiden Will when interviews that in Yonah was serious I had a tooth gap as a kid I did this I'm serious this works I have a tooth that's indented and I'm always casually just pushing against it with my tongue. Do you know that? You can also get a retainer. Yeah. And fix it. I have the same retainer I've had since I was 16. You wear a retainer. You have your 16 year old mouth. Yeah, I have my 16 year old mouth. It barely fits. It barely fits. But you just said you don't wear it.

Huh? Yeah, I know. But I like some days I'll put it on because I can feel my teeth shift. Right. Your teeth shifts slowly. And some days I feel the shift. So then like I'll put the retainer in for like a day. Right. Because you felt the shift. And then like I'll, I'll, go to bed and I'll wake up two hours later. I'll be like, this hurts and I'll take it off. Yeah, your teeth will hurt so bad if you do that. But just wear it. Just wear it normally. And then they're wearing it anymore. I just wear it every night.

I feel like, I don't give a shit. Yeah, he's always lazy. Like, come on. Your gap, you like it? You like my gap. I didn't get rid of it. That's what I'm trying to tell you.

You got rid of it. It's not gone. It's clearly not gone. Brother, I don't know what to tell you. There's a freaks out there. There's a gap right here. They know so much of your face, but it's not as big as that gap.

Because I'm just like fat going to my gum. They could really like flay out entirely if you gain more weight. But now because you're in your skinty. I'm so scinty. It's crazy, bro. Dude, that fat fucking ogre was 179.2. Kill yourself.

Really? I'm 179.1. I can't really can't say. Wait, yeah. You got six, seven inches on him. Easily.

Yeah. Yeah. I'm 179-1. He's 179-2. Fucking blow it off. Smooth. Dude, I had to,

I was wondering this. Do you, the letter wasn't there, but you remember the brunch place I went to in Arizona before Ben's wedding. Yeah. Yeah. Do you remember the dog's balls?

Yeah, they were awesome. Okay, yes. Yeah, of course. I don't remember if I told you guys about them or I just saw them and... No, you said it out loud. So my question, every couple days I think about, those are the biggest dog balls I've ever seen on my life.

They were going to pit bull. And my question is, I think this is a true crime or cringe. If I take out my phone and can clearly zoom in and take a picture of this dog's ball sack, is that crime or is that cringe? That feels more crime. Okay, now here's the question.

It's a dog. Right. And I'm not going to fuck the dog. I want you to picture this. Same, same breakfast place in Arizona. And you're, we're all together still. And you look across the room and it's me with my balls out. Can you take a photo of it?

Obviously different. This is so different. It's like obviously, and that's why it's interesting because it's a dog. We can't include him in these hyperboatings. He fundamentally doesn't understand. He's an idiot. It's embarrassing Would you take

I'm butt naked In that lovely open air What are you in with your body Are you sitting? I'm butt naked in there Do you suck me dry? I'm just standing naked Why would he suck me dry

This is about a photo You're going to take a picture Of you blowing me? You're standing naked Do you have a boner? Would you? Well, you only see my back You don't know if I have a boner

Okay So you just see my balls hanging out. Are you standing? Are you standing? Are you standing? How are we seeing your balls? Yeah, you must be like kind of squat.

I'm kind of spread. I want you to imagine. Are you bent over? He's sitting in the chair from Casino Royale. Yeah, yeah. That's a guy looking at the menu stand. And the balls are swinging to and fro. Can we take a picture?

Of course we can. Yeah, I mean, you've kind of thrown the first stone. Yeah, you 100% can take a picture. Oh, why are we entertaining this? I don't know. He's not part of this. I think I've actually dead as seen a video on Twitter of that exact interaction. What?

Have I not won the argument? my question is this is our first instance because usually crime or cringe it usually doesn't actually mean that but this is a good question because it's if it's not a crime it's pretty cringe i would go up to the owner i would go up to the owner and ask what what what breed is that what if they uh can i see owner's dog can i take it's the owner's dog okay let's just say you're the owner okay wow what going up to that guy like one of those instagram photographers like hey sorry to bother you i'm a photographer uh get a dsler like a go pro Can I take a picture?

Can I get a picture of you guys? You changed a little, change to a 50? And the guy's like, no, no, this don't want no picture. He's like, no, trust me. Look, look at my Instagram. I have 3 million followers. Wow, these are really good photos. It's all dogs.

It's all dog nuts. And some of them are you like. So, so yeah, it's like, it's like, it's not a crime. It's crime, I think. But it's a cringe. I think it's cringe because I don't think it's cringe because I want you to get the picture. I want you to get the picture. want you to show me the picture. It's not cringe. It's spiritually you're doing the right thing.

It's just wrong. How is it wrong? It's crime. It's a crime that I want you to do like jaywalking. Exactly. Exactly. It's crime because I, I, it's wrong because you shouldn't be taking a picture of other people and even their things in public. This is not a person. I just want the dog. By the way, also disagree on that point. I think in public, and legally speaking, everything's up for grabs. This is not a public space. This is a restaurant. This is a public space. it was a public, yeah, it's a public space. It was open concept. So it's mostly outside.

It's not, it's not a public space. This is not a restaurant's a public space. It's not literally a public space. It's, it's, it is a public space. I mean, if you want to get pedantic about whether it's a park or not. In the rules of the law, it's considered a public space. You can take a picture there. Yeah, if you're disturbing the piece in public at a restaurant, that's what they're not going

to be like, actually, I think you're right. This is private property. Sure. I'm right. Restaurant's private property. He's wrong. Here, I'll give you an example. If I set up a mic that records people speaking in a public park, I'm pretty sure you're allowed

to do that because it's a public park. Well, it depends if it's a one party or two party consent state. In this particular place, it was such an open concept. Yeah, but you don't have a right to just photograph in like private establishments. The second one is the one we're looking at. You know, when you go to an event or like a convention and they have those signs up about rights regarding like photography and stuff, that's why they have that. Yeah, but that's why you have to sign agreements when you buy the

But they would also have to have the rule saying otherwise. Also, this implies that if I took a picture of this dog's balls in the restaurant, which it did not do, then if the cops got called, there's like a case. And that's why it's a crime. Let's say he takes out of Sony A-7-3. And he starts getting real tight on this dog's nuts. And then the owner comes-

Is still the owner? Yes. Of the dog or the restaurant, or both. My God, the ISO on this thing goes extremely high. And then the owner comes up and he goes, actually, there's no filming at a restaurant. Then you can leave, but you get to keep that. video. Yeah, what is he going to do? Ask for my

SD card. It's Arizona. I'll kill him. Now, if you stay, I think you'd be trespassing and then they'd have some rights there. But you are, you are fully allowed to take a video that dog's nuts. So it's cringe. No. No, it's neither. It's awesome. It's a spiritual crime and it's also awesome.

I didn't know is crime or cringe are awesome. It's not a lawful climb. Okay, let's put it this way. Because this is what I was, I was genuinely thinking. It was like, if that's my dog. And I see a guy from across the way, he's wearing a suit for some reason. He has a garbage bag. He has a phone out with a pink case.

And he is very clearly zooming and cropping and taking a photo of my dog's huge giant nuts. And going, how do I feel about that? And I think I feel weirded out. Yeah. But I don't feel like I need to walk over to him and say something. No, I think your best course of action is going, hey, to the owner.

I think that guy's taking a video of my dog's balls. Can you go say something to me? I think that's the best way to do it. I know the owner be like, sir, are you videoing anything here? Well, now, let me give you a new scenario, okay? We're in maybe a restaurant, coffee shop, some sort of environment like that. And it's a man has his balls. Sorry, his dog, not his balls.

His dog's balls. The dog's sitting up on a chair, and you're in a chair, and the balls are really close to you. Like, super close. You can smell the balls. They're close. How is he up so high? It's a high chair. It's a high chair and a Great Dane.

And the Great Dane is... The dog is... The dog is standing on like the booth seating. And it's high up and the balls are close enough to where it's invading your personal space. Okay. And the dog's legs are kind of closed. So it's kind of like goading the balls.

Sure. Yeah. It's like you can also see like the fleshy nuts. Like it's like it's really in your face. Sure. Yes. I'm very literally. Would it be wrong?

Just touch one. Yes. No. Yeah. I don't think it's wrong. No. I think if it invades your space like that, like that,

because they're allowed to just go. Reach out. No, we totally touched the touch it. I know we were divided on the last issue. But I need to know that we can make amends. And I think that's a crime. I think that's a crime. How is it a crime?

The dog might have to crime. I mean, is the dog touching you? It's so close that it might, it's just compliance from a great day with huge balls. Compliance is compliance. It doesn't matter if it's malicious. That's just not how.

I'm not touching you. That's disgusting. The dog is going, I'm not touching you. And then in response, you're groping the dog. The reason why this is interesting is because a dog doesn't have like the conscious agency.

fellas, if a dog's too close to me, can I molest it? There's no sexual, it's about discovery. You know what? It's about being like, I don't know, I'm so close. I don't even know what this is. Sorry, I'm, I'm so close. I don't even know what that is. I don't know what it means.

Cut off the sentence, it's not molestation, it's discovery. Yes. Is that what you just, is that what I heard you say? I think molestation is also a word reserve for human beings. Your Honor, I wasn't mowing the mutt. I was nearly jerking his balls. I would you're out during his balls Your Honor, it was so close

I just felt like I didn't know what I was looking at. Your Honor, I'd never mowed the mud. Your Honor, I'd never mowed the mutt. I would never mowed. Some 50-year-old Arizona, now you're saying the dogs' balls were so big, you could not tell what was going on to your... That's right, Your Honor. That's right, Your Honor. And the smell was part of this as well. It was permeating my nostrils. My eyes are closed because the smell drifted in and it shut them, and so I just reached out to what I thought.

Your Honor was like onions. My client, my client is the dog owner. He, the, the, the, the, the, didn't even ask for my dog to move. Your Honor, he judged him to completion. Your Honor, I don't speak dog. I don't know how I would have done that. Excuse me, Mr. Great Dane now. It doesn't work that way. It doesn't work that way.

I just wanted to discover what could be behind the fleshy nutsack that the dog has. That great. Hey, how about this? How about this? How about this? You, you simply just pat the top of the Great Dane's like hindquarters. It's not his butt, but you know, you're just like, the,

yeah, you pet someone else's dog. You can tap them out of the way. That's fine. But if we start to, just, so you can tell me I can pet somebody's dog, but I can't touch their penis. It's not their penis. They're, importantly.

I can't touch their balls and penis. And the balls are as big as, I would say, tangerines. Yeah, they're massive. And they're being squeezed through two legs. Can I give you guys an alternate? Okay. I meet a guy and I'm trying to do a business deal.

And instead of going to shake his hand, I grab his cock and, Is that a crime? That's assault. Is that a crime? You're being aiden. David Zimmer, come on in. Is that a crime?

Can I not? That's a crime. It is a crime. I can shake his hand, but I can't grab his balls. Ours is clearly more of a gray area. That is a crime. It's not a gray area.

It's black in. That's what you said is a crime. If I could claim self-defense if I, if I caress a dog's nuts when they're in my face. Those nuts are flying at me, Your Honor?

Your Honor, I was trying to get the nuts further away from you with one finger. I didn't want to harm the dog, but I wanted by space spark. I'm trying to eat my hash in peace. You know what would happen is this would go down through the appellate courts and finally the Arizona Supreme Court would decide in a five to four ruling, the three finger rule where you cannot touch a dog with more than three fingers,

but with less than three fingers. Do we make it one? Because I feel like you can't, you can touch a dog with two fingers. Two fingers is a three finger rule. That's what it was. So you're telling, I can get away with one for each ball. You guys are thinking one hand. Two hands.

Two hands. But once you reach three fingers, either split or all in one hand, it considers, I'm being warped. You're in Mo territory. I don't want to, it's been reframed as,

as touching the balls somehow legally is victory. I don't want to touch the ball. Well, it's a three finger rule, Aden. It's more of a compromise like many things and many laws,

right? The dog is invading my space, this run, really crazy owner with a black rifle coffee shirt or something. And the nuts look interesting to the touch.

They look like they might, As an American with two fingers, you have the right to feel around for what you smell. If it's that close. Can we ban an array of two fingers? Can we ban this set of two fingers? You cannot touch a dog. No, no, no, it can be any two fingers. Any two fingers.

I mean, because then it's like you get into enforcement territory. It's just so weird. It's just so weird. This is all Scott Gallo I wanted to talk about too. Really? So you're well-versed. Who is that? Hmm?

Who is that? I feel like we spent the first 10 minutes of this podcast explaining. It's all of him a 14-year-old girl. Yeah. I didn't get the rest. Yeah. Yeah, interested. It's probably about commerce and street lamps and shit.

Oh my God. I don't fucking care. Aiden would talk about commerce with some old fucker. And street lamp. Six hours. You know, I've been having some problems with with Edelby? Aiden. Oh, yeah. I'm sorry. We're sidebaring? Oh, yeah. Sidebar? Sidebar? Side bar. Side bar. Yeah, yeah. What's your

problem? He looks like bitch. He looks like bitch. I can't hang out with him because he looks like bitch. I've talked to I've talked to you guys about this before. I brought it up to him. I said could you break, maybe being something doesn't make you look like bitch. He ain't got shit on his neck either, Ludwig. No. And wait, like, here's the deal.

It's like, he's been asking me to connect him with Nakey Jakey. Sure. I'm embarrassed about what he looks like. And I don't want Nakey Jakey to look at him with no freaking. I got an idea. GLD. Sorry. Sidebarring.

It's a big sidebar. It doesn't matter how long the sidebar is. When we're done, then you can talk. Is it still the sidebar? Yes. Yes. Jesus. The GLD.

Do you see my issue? No, I know. We can put him in high quality jewelry, prices at all price points, because you know he's blowing his money on other stuff. I had to get the jewelry, so it needs to be affordable for me. It can be real gold,

handstone, set. Every piece is real gold I've heard, which Naky Jakey can tell. He could tell because he was working the diamond district. And he does bite everyone's chains. Also, he ruins stuff all the time, so there's a lifetime warranty. It's a GLD,

it's proprietary production provides, oh my God, imagine tongue twister. High tier quality. and shine. Can I trust them? You can trust them. You can trust them. You can trust them. Whatever style. Gilly's got Aiden and can help him do pretty much anything like Meet Naky Jakey, Naked Jacob.

Over 2 million customers, soon to be Aiden, over 50,000 five-star reviews. Okay, so if we can get him this, then he won't look like bitch. And then he can talk to Niki-Jakey. All right, we're back. Hey. Hey. We wanted to tell you something. Work hard and change the game.

For a limited time only new customers, that's you, are getting a huge deal, Aiden. Use code yard to get 50% off at glde.com. Because Nikki Jakey's coming soon. This sounds good. I think I could look a little nicer for him probably. We all think that. We all pretty much agree.

So it's 50% off with code yard at glde.com. After you purchased, they'll ask you where you heard them support our show and tell them The Yard sent you. You need to do that. Can you make that group chat with me and him? If you wear this, then yes. Let's get back to the episode. I mean, my dark secret, that's not a secret is I think, I am interested.

I like when Aiden talks about township, bureaucracies or whatever, but I need to make fun of them for it to establish a hierarchy, you see? Yeah. Dominance, if you will. Georg just went through this as well in the D&D campaign. He faced a very similar... Georg and slime have some similarities.

Oh, you think? I think so. I'm starting to think so. It'd be so sick if you had a baby mama in real life. Really? Yeah. You'd have a kid? A little rascal running around.

That would be insane. I think you guys would be a much more normal. side of me. You think so? Yeah, 100%. You think that having the kid normals you. No, I think I...

The kid mocks you like that. Yeah, sure. The kid is a much more important thing. I would not be taking pictures of him in a pourover set and being like anyone like kids in the pourover or whatever. You know, I don't do that.

He wouldn't do that. He wouldn't do that. I just, I would be... Speaking of, I won. I won my, my battle in the street protecting the kids from the fucking, the people that park in that shitty spot.

I go there. and there are now a street like, like city cones that don't impede the flow of traffic, but they say you cannot park here very loudly, loud cones. I won. I protect the kids. Just posted up with a gun every day around two. I wanted to because after that one guy,

where are you going? Where are you parking? Oh, open carry, by the way. I was going to be like, I was like, you can't park here. And the guy's like, why can't? I was like, I'm crazy. Okay. I have time.

I'm fucking low. I have time. I have time and I'm bored and I'm rich. Wait, you do have bored and I have money and I have time and I care about this specific street so much. I will fuck, I'm going to make your life crazy. But I didn't have to say that because they put the cones out. You have time now that you've quit Bellatro. Yeah, I'm like, I gold-staked every deck.

I fucking, you can't stop me. You can't stop. You can't park here. It's dangerous. It's dangerous for everyone. What are you doing with your time now? Um, well, I just got my surgery, so I have to take it easy. I've been, I've been fucking my Minecraft.

I go through every vaude and I pick the moments I like. It takes forever. But I don't trust anyone else to do it because I got burned once. I had a person once go through all my, go through my vaude, make a cut of it. And a moment I really, really thought was funny.

They just didn't put in. And I was like, I guess no one can do this. Yeah. It's got to be me. It's probably, that's probably true. No one else on earth could do it.

Yeah. But I'm just being meticulous about it. So I've been doing that. And I got a new heart. It actually worked this time. So you got a new heart? I thought it took a bit to find out. This one, this guy's...

Just frame one? My guy is the LeBron James of PVC specific ablations on the left side of the heart. He's balding? No. Oh. Extremely strong hair lines.

He looks like... I think you guys will get this. He looks like the best Marth player in a state PR for melee in 2016. Huh. Yeah, I can picture him. Calvar?

Does he have glasses? Not 2016. He's glasses, right? does have glasses. Yeah. So yeah. He's the goat, bro. He fixed me. I check my shit every day, every couple hours, and it's just the same beat. He did it. Beep.

I got white shab. That was the first image I got in my head. White Shab? Yeah, Shab if he was white. If I can ask this question, I believe you, I believe he's LeBron. Just want to click. If he's the LeBron, why didn't it work the first time? So that's a good question. It's what I asked. He is

at UCLA there, it's just a severely more sophisticated set of tools and technologies. And also he is the specialist of this type of this part of the heart. There was the same guy the first time? Or a different guy? Different guy the first time. I thought the guy was like he like I couldn't do it. That's why this guy is

I'm sending you to LeBron. I thought I remember you saying back then to the guy was the goat or whatever. But I guess I No, I just said he was obsessed. These guys, these electrophysiologists are obsessed with electricity in the heart. That's why they do what they do. They go to medical school for eight years. They do a fellowship for another eight years. And when they're mid-30s, they can practice. That should be so crazy, bro.

That's wrong. They shouldn't be like, another doctor office or hospital that just has the better tools. I mean, that's just the way it is, right? If we pay health insurance at all, the tools should be everywhere. These are specific, hyper-special.

That's why we pay taxes. We pay taxes for the tools. Except for me, I don't pay taxes. That's why we pay health insurance. That's not what the taxes go for. The health insurance. The taxes don't go towards the... That's right.

It's the health insurance. It's a second form of taxation. That doesn't make sense. What am I paying taxes for? Well, that's a good question. You're paying for things like, roads, people to arrest people who innocently take pictures of dogballs.

Medicare? And Medicare for old people. You're paying mostly for Medicare. And I fucking am tired of that. Well, the taxes for the roads come out of your gasoline. So then what am I paying for with the taxes that come on my wages? I don't think we tax gas too high. I don't fucking know anything. Compared to European nations or taxes on gas, pretty chill.

This is why this is my electric car fund fact. This is why you pay the extra up front for the electric car. That one gas station that went bankrupt? The one that's outside of Union Station that charges like $750 again. They went out of business? No, no, no, it's still there. There's a gas station that charged $2 because they wanted to lower their gas prices for Trump. And they lost some money on that deal.

I love being the one point. You could probably get funding in that way through like deep back channels, but you're like, you tell President Trump, dude, gas is $199, you can use our gas station, take pictures of it, tell everyone, this is gas now, pay us a little kickback so we don't go out of business. that's a good idea. Wow. Amaranth was kind of on this with buying all the gas station.

I wonder what the prices like at her fucked up gas station. Or a transphobic gas station. That's a good question. Dude, I'm quitting Delta Diamond. The fuck. What do you mean you?

I thought it's just a thing you are. Did they hell you? I thought it was like being, it's like you became Delta Diamond. It's like going in front of the State Department and rescinding your citizenship. You stand before a judge. You're a sovereign.

I rescind my Delta Diamond. I have to go to the Delta Hub at LAX. I have to fucking put my hand up. Two fingers because the three finger rule. I rescind Delta Diamond. Yeah, they fucking hoed me. How they hoe you? They've been hoeing me.

How they've been hoeing you? Because I went to the airport. First off, I've been Delta Diamond for three months now. Yeah. Since like January. And everybody knows. Oh, no. No.

I thought you were Delta Diamond for longer. No, you get to, it's like an annual thing. So I earned Delta Diamond the last year. year for this year. But then rank reset. Then there's rank reset. That is fuck. That is what you would have it. No, because you can just sit on challenger forever. You can give them like three years. You can hit you can hit like it's called like I think Delta Select. And if you hit that then that's permanent. You know what I mean? That's like that's like if you hit PR. You get to hold that for the rest of your life. Okay. But otherwise you are rank reset and you don't get the riot like

you know buddy that you can use. The border. Yeah. So I've been Delta Diamond and usually what they're supposed to do is when you check in, they go, thank you for being Delta Diamond. And I've heard them say this. They haven't said it to me once. I know. Once? I know. A single time. Because I remember you talked about this, they said it to the other person next to you. And I've flown several times since they haven't said it once.

And I've literally pulled up on my phone the diamond status before fucking buzzing in. Like the guy with a convicted felon Joe Biden shirt, just like hoping people notice what it's like Delta Diamond. On the plane with, I'm a Delta Diamond member. You should roll up next time in military garb. And I should what? Stolen Valor? It's not solely because they're

You are, dude. Because they're gonna be like, thank you for your service. I should show me. And you can be like, do you want to thank me for anything else? You know the little patches on the side? Yeah. I put a little Delta diamond logo on the patches. I have a Minecraft diamond on the side.

Yep. And I go, you know what that mean. And then 40 ribbons. So they haven't. Go all in if you're like a really high ranking official. They haven't thanked me for being fucking diamond member. Is that all? No.

Then I've been using because I'm supposed to get upgrades. Okay, I can go on the upgrade list. Okay. Tell me why I'm the second person on the upgrade list. I check an hour later, I'm 26th. How did 24 people bump me? I'm tell to fucking die. Are they all diamond? I, that's what I don't know. Are they better diamond? Like, are they better diamond one or diamond three? Here's what happened. When people get Challenger in the early season, they just don't play for a long time. The season starts again, you got a lot of people. They don't have Challenger. The pool is full, right? Sorry. There's a lot of people above you.

I thought I was Delta Diamond. If you hit the shit in August, then yeah, you don't get bumped. But you got real players playing. Are you diamond or not? I'm done. Because the way you're being treated if you think you're not diamond.

What you're explaining is, yeah, you're giving us a bunch of evidence that clearly says you're not. Right. I'm literally diamond, bro. Stop fucking doing this to me. Tell me what the current status says. Tell me what current status says.

What is Delta Chud? Is that for you? Did they just made that? for you. Dilda Chud? Dilda Chud. Platinum member. Bitch. Let me look. Me look. It's say, okay, I'll say this.

It's his current set is diamond me and then dot, dot, dot, dot. I don't know what that last one. Diamond, dalyan member. What's the dollar amount mean? It is for my 2027. That's the rank reset. So I'm currently gold for 2027. That's the much money you spent on flights this year?

No. But you said, you see why I refused? It's not just flights. That this year, this year where it's supposed to be active, they stop saying thank you for being Delta Diamond. They've never said it ever in my life. He never said it. Yeah, he has just been diamond. And not only my Delta Diamond, I have the Delta fucking Amex card.

Yeah. So it's like, okay, I'm actually not kidding about this one. Not the military garb joke. This is real. We make you a T-shirt that says, I am Delta Diamond. And on the back, it's a Sater. I'll kill myself. And I have a weapon.

Okay. the back. If you roll up, you just show on the front, you're wearing a hoodie, probably hide the back. Get on the plane, take the hoodie off and it reveal the back. Okay, well, this is what really set me over the edge and maybe I'll do this idea now is because I go to the airport and I'm there four hours early.

So I go to the Delta Lounge. Why do you go four hours early? Because that's not lovely. There's only one flight available from San Francisco to Raleigh for the Mr. B shoot and it was out like 11 p.m. You must have wanted to kill yourself. All the time he's saved over the years is probably as up to four hours in the airport

and now he has to eat it. Well, it was fine because I had something to do. I was supposed to teach Squeaks how to play Minecraft and so I was going to go to the lounge and go on Discord and teach him. So I was like, this is great. So I show up to the Delta Lounge. I'm like, hey, can I get in it?

Paying all year, finally getting my lounge access. Ah, yes, the buffet, some peace and quiet and there's just Ludwig in the corner. Oh my God, yeah. Yeah, yeah, you got the weed trade. You got the weed trade. That's pretty good. I was loud.

I was loud of that loud. I was I was like What is this fucking bashing route Neanderthal route So wait what happens? I go to Delta Lounge and I go Hey can I uh And they go

They go yeah And they point to like this little sheet And it's like what you need to get in And it's like an international business flight Or like have the card I'm like here's the card And they're like they're like Ooh

And then they point to like small print They're like that card's for the centaurian lounge Oh This is the Delta Lounge And I go oh sorry And then I showed Delta Diamond And they go, great, could you scan your flight? And I scan my flight.

And they go, ooh, you're on a United flight. You can't get in. And I'm like, but you don't fly Delta to Raleigh? They're like, yeah. So wait, they have a Delta hub lounge, but they don't fly Delta. They have a Delta hub lounge, but you have to be flying Delta.

But I thought you could just get in for your Delta fucking Diamond. You just don't know if you're at the airport. That's insane. If you're Delta Diamond, can you not just get in the fucking lounge? You don't know at the airport. What the fuck else you're going to do? What did you do all this for?

I just got a fucking drink and a couple of fucking snacks, maybe fucking shit. You gunned down all those fucking villages. For what? For what? What did I do it for? Because I did it. Is there a rank higher than diamond? I think there's like select, but I don't even know how to get it.

That's okay, I will say it's pathetic of you to say. What? I think there's a higher rank and I don't know how to get it. It's not clear. You're not a competitive delta member. You're not a real player. Can you look at the highest ranking delta member of our beautiful United States. Look at the, look at the Delta member.

I go to the Centaurian lounge and I show them my Amex card and they go wrong Amex card you need the platinum card and if you have the Delta card you have to be flying Delta only and and then you and then I go oh and you know he says you go you could buy a Delta flight oh my God get access to it I was like that's unbole-oh my God are you serious you should have punched that guy he's like yeah people do that I look the cheapest dollar I'm like I'm not buying a fucking Delta flight to get into your lounge to get a fucking scrambled eggs that are sitting in a buffet. So then I have to walk to the fucking United

Lounge and get a guest pass. I got a fucking Gat. I wasn't even fucking Delta. I was United. Basically the slums, the disgusting sewer gasoline slums. Of the United Lounge. Delta is 360. And one bullet for you.

Invitation only membership? That's a Mepstein shit. That's Challenger. 360 people get that. That's why I didn't know about it. Delta 360? It's a small entry into Delta 360C will be extended to a very small percentage of diamond medallion members are you medallion? Yes, I'm

what it's in. Really? Okay. I didn't know if Delta... Thank Christ. It used to be better. They used to send out jackets every year, but now they don't do that anymore. Fuck, dude. Well, the United Lounge is probably good. How was it like in there were men bowling bundles of trash? There was just dogs, the balls out and men touching them. And playing Brazilian basketball. Several men touching

these dog nuts. Yeah, there's a giant barrel fire. Probably warm in there. That's good. So you sat in the United Lounge for four hours or whatever? Just like this fucking, just telling squeaks how to fucking run his bashing routes. It's so interesting.

But just eating crazy amounts of charcutory. Okay. Charcoutary. Charcoutary. The all new charcutory from the habit. And then you got back. And then I fucking got, well,

then I fucking got there. Oh, it was on the way. Did I win? I can't leak, but it was pretty good. That ass, that's a no. I know this guy long enough. I don't know if I would have known that fucking Mr. Beas was going to have the best idea

all year, I would have locked into streaming this year. And I would have fought for my fans. Yeah, you could have got in. Connor, he's pants got in. He got the last second in, but he got a buzzer beater in. He got in on the back of ruthlessly bullying and harassing politicians on 24. Twitter. I think because I think I think what actually

happened is I messaged Connor. He's like, you want to get breakfast? And I was like, can't, I'm doing the Mr. Beast thing. And he goes, what Mr. Beast thing? And I go 50 streamers in a box. And then an hour later, he goes, all right, I'm going to see you at the Mr. Beast thing. I'm like, what did you do? I like that. He made a call. He has, he has some sort of, I think he has a man

that works for him. That can get him anywhere. Yeah. And get him anything. Like a motion generator? Dude, maybe he's Delta 360. That's probably it. He calls up Jimmy, he hits the code that they give you. Yep. It goes right to Jimmy's direct line.

And he goes to his concierge. And he goes, I would call Mr. Beast. And you know who answers to a 360 member, Jimmy the Beast. Is Jimmy doing all the talent? Because like Jimmy hits you up, right? Well, Jimmy has people doing his DMs. For me, he hits me and he calls me. But I think if he doesn't know him, he uses like, he has a guy who does his Instagram

DMs. I met him at the Super Bowl. I went to the Super Bowl. This guy comes up. He goes, hey, you ever messaged Mr. Beast? Instagram? I go, yeah. He goes, that's me. Wow. Can't be a normal guy doing that. You can say that

to anybody. And they would believe you. That's true. No, because he instantly fucking opened it. This is like when Yangling tells people I'm, he said, he just tells people I'm Jamie on Joe Rogan on Counterstrike. Oh, that's awesome. And they believe that. That is so fucking funny. Somebody will ask that like, dude, you got that like shiny blue knife and they'll be like, what do you, what do you

do and then yingling just hops in he's like you ever listen to joe rogan he's jamey's jamy from joe rogan wait can we see that is the funniest thing it's it's yingling and adam is there a picture of him it's yeah can you see what he looks like long hair yeah he's he's unknown it's not like zipper no it's not a zipper yeah he's not a sentient being yeah he's not a construct he's a man man that's a great uh bit from yingling that's jamie that's jami wow does that shirt just say power all the pictures he's got a foo fighter shirt the pictures

are so sporadic of him and rare that it looks like like an Epstein affiliate yeah it does yeah they're very candid low quality photos he looks like Matt Mercer

makes wow okay Joe Rogan is crazy looking dude yeah I mean he's getting a lot he's a lot older man you know what I realized that Joe Rogan's been

around a long time but my understanding of him mostly in general, which is probably different from some people, is Fear Factor. I watch Fear Factor every Monday. I loved that show. And I was like in middle school.

That's what I've seen the more, I've seen more Joe Rogan on Fear Factor than I've ever watched on like his podcast or clips or whatever. Never watched it. This is amazing show. I watched it in my neighbor's house and I remember I always was just like, I don't want to watch that. They're doing gross stuff. The first one was a physical one. The second one was always gross. And the third one was a 1v1.

It was like a crazy. It usually had to do with the sky. You were like on a, side of a cliff or you're in a helicopter you're sky diving it usually had to do with the sky it's like what first to skydive holy shit he looks like David Blaine yes he does he's a fucking magician look at him in the bottom of last

crazy isn't it interesting he's been around a long long time he's the whole guy I think he's in his 60s right now dude there's this trend on TikTok he looks like a Dominican man who did it like a reverse Dolazol to become a white man in the UFC a Dominican man dressed for which

He looks insane. I know, I know. And the Joe Rogan now is a, a shit, a simulacra. I think it's all the ivermectin. I think it's dyeing his pigmentation. There's this trend on TikTok where they take like a fucking beat old picture of like John Samos now. And then they're like, what happened?

And then they'll do like a thirst trap compilation of him in the 90s. And it's like, he's just old. He's just older guy. They do with so many old men. I've seen so many compilation. it's just them looking like they did one with who's the guy

with the fucking mustache like the Harvey no he's like the guy with the mustache Mr. Beast Chuck Norris Epic Chuck Norris

Bacon The muscle He was on friends He was on friends He was dating Rachel He had a big mustache Is he a main character of friends? No

Paul Rudd No fucking Oh Oh he's talking about He's an awesome Rachel's like husband and friends What is the fucking What is his famous actor

Yes God I watch a lot of friend, bro. His name in the show is... I watch a lot of friend, bro. Oh my God, just hype in the rate. He's like Magnum P.I. No. Burt Reynolds.

Yes. No. Is it Burt Reynolds? Richard Birk. No, that's his name. Richard. That's his name in the show. Yeah, if you click on that,

it'll tell you his name in the show at the bottom of the right side, played by... What did Burt Reynolds feel so right? Tom Selleck. Tom Selleck. Yeah, because they showed a picture of Tom Selleck now.

Damn! To be fair, Tom Selleck looks beat now because he's 75. Wait, what does Tom Selleck look like now? I bet he's still hot. No, he's not hot, bro. I bet he still suck him down. Let's see him.

Let's see him. I bet he looks great. He's 81. He's amazing. It's the first one, bro. It's the first one. He still ain't so chill on him. I mean, he has the hair.

That's tough to maintain. They're showing like the picture, the U.S. Sun one. They're showing like the U.S. Sun picture. Like, and then it's like... Yeah. Yeah. And then look up Tom Selleck in the 80s. Dude, that captions fucked.

Tom Selleck looks unrecognizable. I know, bro. Fuck off. And then they're showing him in the 80s he looks so bad. Yeah, he's greased up for you too. We should, yeah, we should get him a photo shoot in this kind of environment.

Fuck that. They're trying to, they're taking photos with him like they found El Chapo. Yeah. Just take a picture of him like that. There is a surplus of celebrities, right? Like, we have more celebrities now than we've ever, ever, ever had.

So it's just going to keep. happening, which is kind of funny. It's a very, it's very interesting how it works because it we have more celebrities than ever, but we've also diluted what being a celebrity kind of is like yeah, there are so many micro celebrities, but that is a thing now. There's enough fans to have these people who are recognizable in the streets everywhere. Yeah, like we have a fewer like real celebrities. It's tough. Yeah, it is all the pyramid is broken down and the ones at the top are

truly truly at the top, but the middle has filled out quite a bit. Yeah. Like Jason the ween can go to the store like the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, The mom at the store is not going to mob Jason Nguyen. I feel like some of these... Like Ryan Gosseling gets mobbed. Some of these streamers are making like more money than the most famous celebrities of the early 2000s. Absolutely.

Yeah, I don't think money equates to fame. But those streamers now are still not household names. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like back then you take like a Michael Jackson or something, everyone the world knows them. But like if you took a massive...

Kysonat who was making a quarter million just on his Twitch subs without streaming every month. Yeah, the system... Your mom doesn't know who that is. Twitch, YouTube, all these systems have deleted the middleman and the friction of getting money and extracting it from your fans, right? So instead of a studio paying you for a picture

and you do the picture, the picture actor picture, you just fucking have someone give you five bucks directly, which is kind of funny and interesting. That is so crazy. And sometimes it's tied doing 30K. Oh, fuck. I slept like bitch.

You slept like bitch? Not again. It made your tummy all weird looking at big too. I was so bad, dude. What's the problem? Back was fat. Is it your bed? Oh, yeah, because Swift can't jump on the bed, what we've done is just create a hole in the floor that's indented, filled with blankets, which I thought would be soft, but it's so lumpy. So you're lumped like a bitch, now your back hurts, or your tummy's weird.

Oh, my God. My tummy's weird, too, because I ate 17 pounds of cereal. Well, can I offer you maybe some... I don't have a solution for either of these problems, and the cereal wants a bigger deal. Be kind of light, maybe, and you're a sorrowful time. And what if you get a Helix sleep mattress like I have? Was that going to help with the cereal? Yeah, because the Helix sleep mattress has sleep zones. So if Swift jumped onto the bed, you probably won't even notice.

Wait. Not going to disturb your side of the bed at all. What does that mean the sleep zone? What does that mean? Don't ask me questions that you couldn't possibly understand if I explained them to you. Why don't you just take the Helix sleep quiz? And there's 20 different unique mattress styles that you can find and they're going to match you with the perfect one for you and your dog.

I think just about felt like the quiz. There's also a part at the end about dietary needs. Yeah. And you could talk about the 17 pounds of grain that you're eating. which is probably leading to a lot more problems. And the apnea problem as well. But there's various designs with memory foam, cooling features in the sleep zones,

like I mentioned earlier, are going to help you customize your sleep and Swift's sleep. And your girlfriend's sleep. You said corn base? It's Helix sleep. It's Helix sleep. Cornbase. Cornbase.

Helix sleep. Corn base. Oh God. His mind is in 2021. Hold on. Hold on quick. Helix sleep.com slash the yard for 27% offsite wide.

That's Helix. sleep.com slash the yard for 20 27% off site wide. It can't help you with the amount of cereal eat. But it is exclusive for yard listeners. That kind of includes you Ludwig. Make sure you enter our show name after checkouts. They know we sent you. It's called corn, babe. No, it's helixleaksleep.com slash a yard. We need to get him to a hospital because he's going to think it's one to get him somewhere quickly. He's forgotten the last four years. Go, go, go. You know the world's first celebrity. World's first celebrity. Jesus Christ. Yeah. No, not a celebrity. Monsa Musso. Jesus Christ was a celebrity.

No. God? Is it God? Not the first one. God. The holy... Not Mary. Ghost? I'm confused. No, like a celebrity. Like somebody who's... Joseph? Moses? No, no. These are religious figures. These are leaders. Okay. Fair enough. I see where you're going. Muhammad.

Oh. The name is the most common. Philopo. No. It's Charles Lindberg. Who? Charles Lindberg. He's more famous than Jesus? Charles Lembert. No, he's not more famous. That's what it said on his tombstone. I said celebrity. He was born before.

Forge he's. He's bored of the like 1800s. He's not more famous. What about like Julius Caesar? There's literally no way. He was a ruler. He's not a celebrity.

I feel like a celebrity is somebody who's like famous for fucking being famous and you keep up their life. Is Obama a celebrity? Obama's not a celebrity. He's a president. He was a president, bitch.

And now we're at Patriots and Control. Is this not Squares and Reckangles? He's a celebrity status through becoming the president. No, no. He is a celebrity. I think you guys are conflating famous with celebrity.

You guys are saying famous people, but a celebrity is different. How? Because a celebrity is someone who's famous for being famous. Can we get the definition of celebrity? A celebrity. So movie stars aren't celebrities? Aren't celebrities?

You're saying yourself. Dumb shit. I'm not saying dumb shit. Brad Pitt is famous because of movies. Wow. A famous person. That's what I'm saying. No, you said famous for being famous.

Yes, that's what I'm saying. A famous person. The state of being well known. Famous for many reasons. Gangi, I think you lost this. Actors are not. Famous for being famous. Okay.

How about this? How about this? one Google search. Look up the world's first celebrity. So, because this man was coined that phrase, we have to accept your definition. Oh, cool, it's Sarah Bernhardt. Well, that's the AI one. We should probably

find the earlier examples. Oh, and then it's a Smithsonian magazine article. That's a pretty reputable. What just happened? You just named a guy from the 1800s and said he was the first celebrity. Yeah, it's something that Alex would do. What is you heard? Somebody wouldn't have been famous before that. You know we don't have the original drawings of Bugs Bunny also? Yeah, you realize that?

No one knows who drew Bugs Bunny, by the way. Oh my God, she's stunning. It's a condition of fame and broad public recognition of a person or group doing the attention given to them that mass media. What a succinct, beautiful sentence. That is a beautiful sentence. And it's very clear. Wait, that's kind of what I'm saying.

They're famous for being famous. No, but the- Well, it says, read the next two lines. I got a coach right there. Read the next two lines. But by the, by the, your metric. it still counts as a celebrity everyone's a celebrity

audience we're looking at the Wikipedia article their position as a political figure isn't that interesting I'm on my phone we learned that Wikipedia is not even a real source

as a kid so we probably shouldn't read this either wait well who's the guy you named Charles Lindberg who no one cares about that I want to see Charles Lindberg the adventure of the blimp I'm sure he's famous what did he do

was it did he did Charles one to cross the Atlantic American aviator and military officer. God, he's handsome as all hell. So you're saying a guy that died in 1974 was the world's first celebrity. Yeah, that's right, baby. He lived hell long.

I think you read, you watch a TikTok about this guy and now you're bringing your slop into a world. He's not on TikTok. He's on it. TikTok don't know about him yet. This is a YouTube short. It's like the world's first celebrity, Charles Lindbergh. He flew across the Atlantic.

I'd be so fucking scared if I've never seen a plan or heard of one. I'm in France. And all of a sudden this guy's crash landing in your field. It's an alien. It's a fucking alien. It's... And he's handsome. It's like, oh my God, the aliens are hot. Now I'm gonna fuck the alien. Now what? Now what? Now I gotta fuck the alien. But is he, my sister? I don't know. He's, they're not interested in this. Oh my God. Born in Detroit, gonna die in Hawaii? He's the first man of the year. That's a good life. Time was doing man of the year. He was the first. Oh yeah. And then they murdered his kid. You got to let him go. What do you mean? He murdered his kid. Like somebody kidnapped his kid. Like, fucking open the window, kidnapped the kid. Kidnapped the kid. Give a ransom and then killed the kid. He was a The next line, the case prompted the U.S. to establish kidnapping as a federal crime.

Many believed he was a non-futisting crime. Many believed he was a Nazi sympathizer. Ah, another Bobby Fisher case. Not Lindberg. Not Lindberg. No, he was fine. Lindberg, no. He was a publicly rebuked him for his views.

Okay, it actually is kind of insane that he resigned from the military before the World War II. He was like, no, not fighting him. not fighting them that's not helping the case and then after fucking Pearl Harbor he said no he tried to

join the military they said no let me back in wow he's like oh wait wait I want to get those guys can you only assign me on the Pacific theater

I would like to Pacific only Interesting so this is your guy this is who you're trying to summon That's my guy right there Charles Killed by lymphoma

comes for many Wow. What can you do? He was eating them GMOs too. What was a lymphoma? That is a blood cancer. Really? Yeah.

How old is cancer? It's as old as can be. Who's the first cancer have her? Zipper, can you look that up? Oh my God. We probably wouldn't know. Who's the first cancer have her? It's a function of biology.

It's not like a, it's not like, I don't know, COVID. It didn't develop. It's just too many cells. It was just a vertebrate. It was just like a fish. Yeah, yeah. It was something in the wall about. Like a cancer, like, you know, COVID-19, like a cancer one.

Cancer one? Who's the first known case of cancer? Dinosaurs had cancer. I think you don't know what cancer is. All this written description is found in the Edwin Smith papyrus from 3,000 BCE. It was described as a bulging tumor of the breast. You know he's feeling too. So it's Edwin Smith.

Well, no, he was the guy who felt the breast. No, I know how it sounds, but I think you have a bulging tumor of the breast and I have to check. Oh, Pockerty's wrote about it. He coined it, cancer. Oh my God. Greek for swelling? Oncos. Oncose.

Oncology. Yeah, speaking of John Stamos, I think he's the most handsome Greek guy. No. Out of all of them. What? No. Really? Can you look up most handsome Greek guys ever made?

Dude, can we make slime come up when you look up most handsome Greek guy? Yeah. Yeah, we need a Reddit thread. We need a Reddit thread now. We don't got motion like that. Start the Reddit thread. Most handsome Greek guy. and then I need everyone in the thread to have earnest conversation about how it's slime.

Yeah. Anthony Bruno from the Yard podcast. Yep. And do not get us caught. We need a thousand pictures. And you need to use the most handsome pictures of him that you can find. Ooh, good luck. I think this can work.

He is a fucking heartthrob, man. I'm telling you, bro. He's insane. Goodness. If we band together, I'm not kidding, this is what my dad used to look like. Yeah. It's crazy.

Yeah. It's, I mean, that's that Italian Greek motion. Yeah. It's the same. It's the Mediterranean. It makes you. He's making the, Backass face.

Look at that one the red shirt. Jesus Christ. No, not that one. The orange, the kind of, yeah, he's amazing. Mamma me.

Damn. I think we could get him on here. John Samus? I think we could. For sure. Yeah. My sister used to work with him. Really?

That's right. I remember that. Let's get John. Let's get John on. Let's go. Let's go. When he shows up his seat, a drum set.

Stamos. Stammis. Stammie. Stammie in the boys. Stam in a buzz. And it's just you, Stavros and Stamos. And you talk about your Greek upbringing.

And we're sitting there facing you guys. It's bad though. I'm not Brunos. I need a cool Greek surname, but I don't have one. I have a cool Italian surname. I'm Anthony Brunos. Just lie. Do you think he'd understand this?

If we spoke slow enough, yeah. We talk to him really slow. That'd be so insulting. Hey, guys, what are you doing? Is there anyone else? Is the, is Uncle, not Uncle Jesse, Joey. Is Joey from Full House still acting?

Is he a lot? You mean Dave, what is his name, Portnier or whatever? Is that his name? Portnoy, yeah, he went to this show. The Puerto Rico. The Pirac's strongest warrior. What's that guy's name? He's still doing cut it out.

Dave Collier. Oh, he looks great. I always like that guy's look. It made me feel comfortable. Yeah, he looks like he'd give a good body hug. Yeah, he looks like he's just, he's got dad in him. He's got some dad.

He battled two. cancers. Let's fucking go. And he fucking won, too. And you know who gave it to him that Greek motherfuckers stamen. He sent him to cancer. We invented this. I had 11 so fucking close, man. Almost got there. Did any celebrities die in 9-11? Like in it?

Yeah, like in the tragedy of the world. A lot of celebrities said they were supposed to go. Yes, Ethnic Farland's the big one. Gerard Way saw 9-11 and then made my chemical romance. I'll tell you every fucking American in that building is a celebrity that died 9-11 to me. Yeah, but you don't know their names. I do, actually. I see it every time I walk through Burbank Airport.

Really? Yeah, they have a giant memorial. David Copperfield, live in Vegas. A lot bigger than those names. Uh, okay, Frazier producer doesn't count. Actress Barry Berenson. Hold of an NHL scout. A state. It just doesn't count. A scout? It just doesn't count.

A scoury. I'm the producer of Frasier and I die in 9-11. It's tragic, but I'm not it's not. If Mike White died, would that count? The fuck is that. from Breaking Bad? No, the producer of White Lotus. Brother, no. Yeah, I would. I would argue

these guys aren't celebrities. Sorry, if you're the NHL Scout Ace Bailey. Are you really trying to argue that the victims of 9-11, who are dead, don't count as celebrities? This is your hell. You're trying to be like, no, he's aren't celebrities. These fucking... I think it might be insensitive to say,

but I think time might have healed this wound a little bit. Just give it to them. Just give it to them. Just give it to them. I think that's a good argument actually. I think it's a small give. I fucking give it to him. There we go. Rip Ace Bailey, the NHL Scout. Yes.

And William Biggert, which I saw in there too, which is a crazy last name. Rip that guy. Give that guy. Give it to it. I'll give it to him. I didn't know Michael Jackson was scheduled for a flight. That's what it said on that. Oh my God.

That he could have been on. If Mike dies on that, I genuinely, I rock as a crater. Oh my. Oh my God. It wouldn't go well. Oh my God. If Mike died on that in 2001,

Rob Lowe, Mark Wahlberg, Michael Jackson were scheduled beyond flights or at the World Trade Center that day. I thought Michael was scheduled on that flight. Like we schedule shit for Ludwig sometimes. Like we need to make sure he needs to get back to a certain place. So we schedule like 60 flights to make sure it happens. That's what Seth McFarlane said.

He's like, everyone talks about this. I miss flights all the time. Like I usually get different flights. Like he himself was like, it was a lot. But it was a high chance I missed that flight anyway. So we wouldn't know. got family guy. Yeah,

Family Guy. I think they still had Family Guy, right? Family Guy was already really early. 2001. Does it?

In fall season, I think Family Guy came out. So we would have gotten a little bit. Because it failed like I came out took a break. Oh, my God. Holy shit. Yeah.

It came out, took a break and then came out again. Yeah, it got canceled after three seasons and then had a resurgence on adult swim and then they started the machine up. Death has a shout out. What a good episode one name.

That's the far. The olden days. did you guys like check you guys look at your calendar today yeah I did do you see the day of the week it's Monday I have to take aspirin because I have to take baby aspirin

and we haven't gathered together I don't have anything else No I just said I have to take my aspirin I have a lunch with some friends actually A lot Oh yeah I'm going to your lunch with friends And like a dinner? No no it's like a The lunch extent of dinner combo we're going to

Like you want to No one wants to go to Chubby Cat on Monday Aiden. No loss to go. You know, today might have been here's the problem, and I've talked about this before. Ludwig's busy in the evening. That's why you have to do this dog shit podcast in the morning every time because of him. If it wasn't that way, we would probably do it

some more fun times by FPM and stuff. I'm talking to Aden. So, there's a problem where he does stuff in the evening and you want to chubby cattle in the evening, he don't want to do that. Yeah. And then if he don't want to do that, I don't want to do it. Can I ask your ideal world? You may. What is it? Actually, yeah, this is a good question. What?

Like, like, top, like, like, like, let's just say a world where we achieve everything we want to achieve. So we record. Full week scheduling? We record just Monday. We record the pod and we have chubby cattle. What time are these happening? I don't want chubby cattle. Let's just say you have to slot it in.

Okay. So it's not my ideal world. No. It's your ideal timeline for a world that's not ideal. That contains chubby cattle. That contains chubby kettle. And the podcast. And the pod.

Okay. I have to be alive in my scenario. I don't know. Is there at least a dog with knots I can touch? I think genuinely a chubby cattle into the pod at like 9 p.m. is probably results in the funniest version of the pod, which I care about. 9 to 1030 pod?

Yeah. I mean, I just, I think that we would be more animated at night, especially after eating some chub. And again, my job in my mind is create a funny environment for us, right? But as we do that, after eating a little bit and then going and dude in the show after a whole day, that's good time. I'm in the chair asleep.

Cut chubby cattle out of it. It is your ideal world. 7 p.m. podcast. We have, all three of us have nothing to do. 7 p.m. podcast.

7 p.m. podcast. 7 p.m. What about the primo? Primo we do in the next day. 7 p.m. Primo! We could do in the morning because it's a little different.

And I like the difference. I like the variance. I like the difference. I like the variance. Like the difference. He's the various. We close and we open. We close and then you gotta open.

But at least you know you close so it's like it's not messy and shit. Yeah. At the restaurant. I hate closing. I hate closing. I hate closing more. I hate opening.

I hate mopping. I like closing more than opening. I hate mopping. I like to open. There's no responsibility when you close. Opening is fine. Opening is fine. Opening is fine when you get there.

But yeah. And closing is better when you're like the road to closing is better. And the road to opening sucks. You get to wake up. early like you can overlap. You can start closing early. It's just the place I worked, the mop bucket was so shitty

and it was literally a hazard where the linoleum was so slippery if it was just slightly wet, you would fall and break your fucking neck. So instead of like a, you just mop and you put your headphones in, you might accidentally step on it and fucking hurt yourself.

And it was scary and I hated it. I would just tactically try to get myself placed with shift leads who I knew I could like give eyes to and be like, We moped yesterday. We really got a mop today. Yes, bro. And they look at you and they're like, come on.

And I'm like, we'll do it tomorrow. I work with you tomorrow. I'll do it. I'll do it tomorrow. Come on. Tomorrow comes up. I'm like, the floor is the same as yesterday. We're really going to mop this shit?

You start doing business at the table. You say, can we run this one twice? I'm like, the mop doesn't even really clean shit. Dude, it's a dirty mop. Everybody I worked with at Derek who was so sick, except for just this one manager. And I remember, I feel like in hindsight, she had a sadistic need to like torture her employees.

Because she made, everybody made you clean. Like you have to clean as a part of the job. But she would make you go in like this, the mop bucket like dump out area. And it was made of some sort of like material where like dirt would get in these like really tiny cracks. But even if you took like steel wool or a sponge, like you'd have to scrub it over.

and over like five minutes in each spot to like really get it to disappear. You're talking about the floor? No, no, no, no. It wasn't a floor. It was like this, uh, like, more like the material that like a tub is made out of, but like way rougher. I don't know how to describe it. Oh, like the mop corner thing. You had to clean that? Yeah. She would, what the fuck? I know.

You don't need to clean that. She would make me clean it. I'd have to get like knees in the tub and I would like scrub, scrub, scrub, scrub, scrub, I'd be there like 10 minutes and it'd be like, look, I've, I've tried to scrub out the spot and she's like, do it again. dad. That's unbelievable. You don't have to... And it was every... Or you soak it.

You gotta soak! Every week was just a dice roll of not getting on the same shift as her. We had a... I think it was the coffee bean. We had a like weekly, like daily cleaning list

and then we had like our once a week deep clean that like if you're on that shift you have to do the deep clean. And it was stuff kind of like that but never that crazy. But it was like cleaning out all the drains and like scrubbing shirt and like cracks.

You know what my pride and joy was? Cleaning the bathrooms. you like really i didn't like doing it but i liked after it was done i was like that's a fucking clean bathroom and i felt good about it the mop is the mop i ruined my brain even if you make the floor wet if someone's just steps and now there's a dark spot yeah because it was white it was checkered a disgusting place in a fucking with the restaurant it was a checkered diner oh my god so you know what i'm working with and we had these giant rubber mats behind like the bar like set up with the holes and they stink and they get wet yeah and they're heavy yeah they're so heavy

fly them out and then you just got to fucking put them out there and put them out there and then you mop and you bring them back in dude closing sucks fuck closing fuck closing in school right in school but also i love school and it was the best time of my life anyway the podcast how we go back ideal we close we open with the what's your ideal in the primo we're living it baby we live in your ideal well imagine that we have to live in your ideal. I would do one slight tweak. What's that? Probably three less late wigs than we have right now. I was here. Huh? I was here. Three less late weeks? Why are you getting all haughty? I didn't say you. He's... You're the late wig. That's beautiful.

He was a little bit. Today I was chill. You're meeting right over. Well, yeah, but I only because I knew he wasn't here. I'm just saying. I explained it to Yingling. Yangling was like, because he's in the group chat where he schedules stuff obviously for Ludwig. And Aiden said, I'll be five late. Yingling walks in, I'm playing street fighters like 20 minutes before we start. And he's like, Aiden says he's gonna be five late.

Aren't you mad at him? And he's like starting to start shit. And I've like, Yingling, I've been through this. Here's the thing. Five minutes is 10. Five is 10.

And if it's 11, then it's over five, which now you can make fun of them for it. But if it's nine, that's five. Nine is five and ten is five. That's right. And I'm explaining this all to him. He's like,

but he's not going to be over. He's not going to be 10. He's going to be like, he's been like 17 minutes late. He mailed him. And I was like, Yingling, even if he is, it's going to depend on a lot of other factors. I've been doing this a long time.

You're trying to rage bait me. I will not be rage baited. And he sat down. The thought to be about 17 is that it's 20. It's not 10. It is 20. It rounds up. It rounds up.

But then it's so late that 20 is has to be 20. Because 20 can't be 25. No, no. Because now we're doing. You're giving them ammunition to be wrong. But yeah, I explained to Yingling, all the nuance to this. He's blown away. I just put in my little punch card for this fiscal quarter of my

late to the podcast. We all get one per quarter. Really? Yeah. Do they roll over? One per quarter? No, they don't roll over.

They definitely don't roll over. You get one. You could be perfect for two years if you're late two times in a row. It's like fucking kill yourself, bro. What we do is Doc Pay. Solve problem, he doesn't care.

I care? Yeah, but it would say it would. Oh my God, it's right. We get the rest. You get the rest. You guys are acting like I'm the problem.

No, you've been good. but you've had to be good. And Zipper, yeah, Zipper gets the rest and Pussy too. To be clear, I did say I'm gonna be late today and I just showed up on time.

Uh, yeah, I just got here in time. Yeah, but you did it underneath Aiden's late, which is a superseding of late. So it's like, you're still covered under the late umbrella

because he called being late first, right? Yeah. Which is, it gives you. No, this makes sense. Yeah. There's a lot.

Late Wing is different than late. It's just, we all, we all make mistakes. Nope. No, no, I don't make mistakes.

You make mistakes? No, I'm a mistakeless man, actually. And he is on time most of the time these days, because he gets here early to do Chinese with Michael. Which sounds like 69. Walsher, Jungoran. Well, he gets here early to do Chinese with Michael.

Doing it Chinese with Michael. Yeah, I hear it the way you hear it now. Walsher Byron, Boulda Shin, sure, Jungoran. My Xbox Live just ran out, and now I'm on the run from the police. Is that what you said? I'm a white man, but my heart is.

Chinese man. Wow. Your accent, I can hear how flawed it is and I don't speak Chinese. It's actually not. Can you give me? Okay, really quick. Can you lock in? Yeah. And give me your most serious, like don't make a joke. Don't be like, your most serious accent with the, with a phrase. Like, try to really blend in. You don't want someone to realize you're tourist. If they do, you're, you get killed. You're wearing the Jackie Chan like wax face. Hit the pronunciation as best as you know how to with your most comfortable phrase. Mm-hmm. Okay.

I pulled you over. I would go. Me, how? Okay. That's what you get. That's what you get. Me sure. Me sure, Buddha.

That's disgusting. Meeshur Buddha don't she? Dude, imagine, like, some like Alabama South guys. We get like invaded and taken over by China, right? We're a Chinese state. Yeah. And then you get like the southern Chinese accent. Oh, yeah.

That'd be kind of cool. Oh, the Chinese accent. Yeah. Well, sure. Nehama, and he's got a big ass belt. Don't they have LARPERS in China for like American West? I don't think it's super popular in China. It's definitely a thing in Japan.

There was a mini doc I watched about this Chinese guy who was like really obsessed with Western cowboy movies. But then he moved to the U.S. to Texas and he just started working on a ranch. And now he knows English and he, he's a full time like ranch worker and like works for a farmer. That's the dream. And he's living, he's just living his dream. That's his weeb dream. Yeah. They have a city in China that was worked on by the architect who worked on Orange County

and it looks like Orange County in China. We should go. We should go and walk around my old fucking stomping grounds. And you go, oh shit, they got a fucking blue bottle. Oh, if we had blue bottle. If we had blue bottle and OC, that would have been lit. We did not. It's a blue bottle, but it's like state run

and Xi Jinping's his faces on it. He's got an apron on. Is that a red bottle? What is that place? I'd love red bottle. You guys are gonna like luckin. Luckin coffee. What's that's called?

It's their big coffee chain. Oh my God, we have to go. It'll be fun. All right. We're dressed up in suits and go gamble. Are you excited? Let's go gambling. We're gonna have fun, man.

And then we're gonna meet you. And then you're gonna, maybe. We're gonna meet you. It is a big maybe, isn't it? Maybe. Are you? Maybe I won't be there. If you don't finish? Maybe I'll fucking won't be there. If you don't finish? Maybe I'll fucking won't be there. Why? I don't know what happened

to me. Do you think it's more likely that you finish on time or don't? Um, do I think it's more likely you finish on time or don't? I genuinely have no clue. I go in blind. I have no, I can't name more than five cities in China. Was Japan on time? Exactly. Japan was exactly on time. What's your five? That's money. Beijing Chenghai Chengdu Cheng Cheng Cheng

What about Gangzhou? Guangzhou That's the one That's how you say that Guangzhou Guangzhou Holy shit

Shenzhen Hong Kong I mean Yeah sure That's cool baby Yeah that's more That's cool baby You got there

Whatever babe Yeah But the thing is None of those are on the route Like literally I think one is on the route and the rest aren't. It feels like this time the,

like the route is longer and you guys are less, you're just less good at the language this time. Yeah, we are weaker. That's gonna be the hardest part, I feel like. We are way weaker the language. Yeah, watching you crunch

and flail around is so... What percentage of Mandarin do you think you know? Oh, I'm at like, like one. Yeah, you're one. I'm at like one. One? It's pretty good. I hit one for sure.

Yeah, one's pretty good. I thought last time, like during the last series something that was good was Michael kind of covered Ludwig's basis too because at the beginning it felt like there was an offset of what Michael knew and what you knew so if like maybe you couldn't remember something he could remember it and if he couldn't remember it was the opposite yeah and this time you're both started no no no we both we have different so michael knows how to say like i don't have a girlfriend in chinese yeah that's an important phrase and that's okay did you learn that one too and ludwig knows how to say you know that one

I know how to say you ain't shit How many words are there in Mandarin? Total. Dude. A lot. But I think like the actual like day to day language It's like 3,000.

Sure. 100,000 plus words. How much do we have? Has an estimated. Why is it estimated? Don't we have this document? Oh, fuck, fuck this. No, because there's a bunch of fucking words, bro.

Language is like fucking weird. 100,000 is not that many words. Language is weird, man. Yeah, language. It's also modular. It's like, what is a word? How many English words are there? This isn't, I don't think there's like an easy number of words, bro.

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. It says we have a million. But like, we're not using like 95% of words. Oh, the dictionary only lists 171,000 of them. 171 words in current use. Active vocabulary is another great way to say this. Active vocabulary. My active VNAQ.

Yeah. I'm using inactive VAC. My active V. Oh, someone also in the comments of the one I wasn't on, they said you got some kill streak wrong in Cod. Yeah, you did. Yeah, you did.

Yeah, that's fucking piece of shit. You know, I sent back a picture of my fucking watch. Have you guys seen that clip of me on Xbox Live yet? No. It is a beast clip. We should play. Yeah. The context is,

I got a message from some guy. I don't remember exactly what he said. But, like he like I'm just streaming and like like talking chat whatever and we're in like a public lobby he like places higher on the scoreboard or something and he messages me and he's just like can't keep up or something like that like some sort of shit talk where do I send this to you I'm going to put it in the in the yard chat oh no I'm going to put it in the yeah um and uh I had a little trick up my sleeve for this man did you have this premeditated knowing you got killboard mug no I did not I did not have premeditated at all but I had I don't know I had a tool at my disposal I was excited to use but I did not at all have this premeditated You turn up please look he may be absolutely shitting on us but check this shit out This is Nick going to messages going to add a picture and then pulling out the very rare USB camera gongle

Oh my god And then just zooming in on his Rolex Holding the camera his mouth by the way crazy ass Xbox picture. And it looks like a picture you take on a chocolate LG, but just of a Rolex. Bro, I... I am blown away. And he sent it to Star X, star 666.

And he did the same thing to me with a, by the way, with an old pick. Wow. All because I knew that a five kill streak was a fucking pred. And Centric gun... That one. And a century gun, and he didn't. Century Gunnar or something? Dude.

He said his precision strike. That was really cool. I'm really, I'm really, I'm really proud of that. That's cool. You know what's cool about that? It's like,

it could feasibly happen 15 years ago. Yeah. And it just, it's still happening today. It's a bit of a... They're running the Rolex fucking, and I message him,

the real flex is the, is the, having the device to take pictures. Yes, the device and sending it on the service. That is truly the real flex. Because that is not a very common device to have. Everyone can get a Rolex. Not a lot of people can get that.

It was hard as fuck to find one in person. The camera, that is. I would argue more people have Rolexes than active, like actively have that camera. By a lot, not even close. Did Shake ever pawned the one you got him? No,

you never got him one. No, shake bought him himself one, yeah. Tough. It's because Ludwig canceled the deal. Shake got like two or three rolls. Blue date just, I think he's got two or three rolls.

Shakes got it like that? Yeah, he definitely has. We got a lot of money, man. We got Doc Shakes paper. Yeah, I don't think so. I, because back when it was just shaking polite. He could have multiple watches.

I think he only has one Rolex. Oh, that's right now, bro. It's either a blue or a green date dress. Damn, Mattoos. He's sleeping, Rosh. Yo, how many rollies do you have? I have one roly.

Broke ass. You're so quick to make it a win for you. It's so beautiful how you do it. I don't even. Here's the ultimate irony is back when I was, it was like me Ludwig and Radstads were the first full-time employees. And then it was Shake and Polite and it was big editors. And he said,

I want to get Shake and Polite Rolexes for at the end of the year. And then I think we both just forgot about it and they never got it. And then Shake had to buy his own. That's on you, not on me. It's on both of us. It's not on me. The idea, and I get back to work.

He sent me a text. Kill yourself. I also have an Omega. I nailed it. What is that? Is Omega I don't know what that is? It's not. I mean, Omega's like a much cheaper brand. Oh, that's cool. I got a phone. I got a phone. I got a phone. What are we doing? What I showed you. Fuck y'all. Maybe I'll get a swatch. Huh?

Maybe I'll get a swatch. Swatch is nice. A nice little neon swatch. You are the swatch fucking primary demo. Oh my God. Swatch is like that mall rubber band. But it's cheap, right? He's a, he's a bit of a princess. By the conglomerate, I believe that owns Rolex. We all are watchcast. You are Rolex. You are Swatch.

You should be an Apple Watch guy, to be honest. They're too annoying. I'm too lazy for an Apple Watch. I've only been using a line for my heart. Yeah. Rolex, Swatch. SpongeBob Watch. Like SpongeBob Happy Meal Watch.

A little too ironic, though. I'm getting older, man. The Gaman Watch, the real game watch. That's tough. You can also be a Cassio Head. Have you seen that? Have you seen that roulette watch? Naked, I'm naked puff.

Look up the roulette watch. It's by some famous fucking, like Jacob and Co or some shit. Um, I got it right. That's crazy. That's sick. And it works. That looks tough as fuck.

Wait, when it works, it drops like a little ball into it? There's a ball inside. You press a button, it spins. It spins for a hell long time. Now, now you have my attention. Yeah. It's $300,000. Oh my fuck.

You don't have to make it that expensive. 300k. This company is just known for making these like very expensive kind of novelty watches. Oh my God. Dude, what?

Gross. 300K? It's, I won't say the word what it is, but it's, it's that. The big book of Patac Philippe

in the back. Yeah, that's gross. Been the wheel. That's a fake number, I want to see it. And we're spinning the wheel. I want to see it.

Have you guys seen the Spider-Man watch? Yeah. Whoa, there it goes. That actually spins kind of awesome. bounces around in there. Dude, you take this to the Epstein party and you start, like, gambling with, like, the teenagers and shit.

Like, it's kind of an impressive spin. You, Scott. Oh, we should have called up. Bet you goes on black. Wait, look up, look up the, um, the Spider-Man AP. And then I want you guys to guess the price. What's AP?

Uh, Autumar. Piquet. Like one of the most, it's like, Potech. It's like, no, that's, Potech, Filippe.

Otomar, Pee. It's like, when rapper say she gonna fuck me for that AP. They're talking about this watch. And this is Spider-Man blasting out like Spy Kids 3D game over. What do you think this watch costs? Oh, you're asking because it's probably expensive. I would

say $100,000. Can you give me like a zoomed in picture, zipper? I want to see if there's diamonds. Careful the price showing up. Oh, wow. $6.2 million? That can't be for real, dude. You already shot. I mean, they already saw it. I would have

to get to quarter million? Is that How many of them did they make? Not a lot. They just can't be that. And it has like a thing that makes a certain watches is expensive where it's transparent on the back so you can see through the watch.

I forgot what they're called. Exposed or some shit. 250 of them. Do you think they actually sold for that? Or it's like some, it's like marketing. You can just say that it happened and then lie.

They've been purchased at that price. Wow. The Spider-Man ones. Dude, just so really rich guy who loves Spider-Man? These are guys in Dubai. I think about it. We're wearing these.

Dude, that is insane. It's really awesome. Oh, man. John Mayer maybe might have one. Of course. You got a crazy watch collection. He does. You're a watch guy now.

Secretly, I've kind of always been one. I had a watch collection because I was a kid. Really? Yeah. I didn't know this. I didn't like wearing them.

I didn't like wearing them that much for a while. But then I was like, I kind of want to get a nice one, so I got to wear it. My body does not allow for this hobby. I have to, remember when you guys found my Apple Walk and you all laughed how skinny the band was?

Yeah. Yeah. That's why I'm not, I don't really, I'm a watch guy. You're gay petite Reese. Because I have wrist. In fact, I was so self-conscious about this in school. I was looking up how to make my wrist thicker.

Can't do it. There's no muscle mass. It's all tendons. Yeah, I was all conscious of my arm here. Yeah, well. I've got tiny wrist two minutes. So anyway, down in the comments below, if you made it this far, I want you to tell me one thing you're self-conscious of

and how you've summited that and beaten that idea in your head. I like that. Have you gotten over being the self-conscious thing? And make sure, reminder, go on the Reddit and upvote the slime Greek posts. Yes. Most handsome Greek, we want slime to be the first image result. I'm still tax fugitive. You are tax fugitive.

I think that's pretty cool. I'm still tax fugitive. For real? Can it be, guys, can it be a fucked up picture of me? Can it be one where I look like shit? It should be like, you're one. The Kaisenat pick. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Most handsome Greek. And it's my Kisanat picture. And it's Kirkified slime Kaisenat. Yeah, and I'm Iron Man. We're complicated. We keep it simple for them. All right. Well, guys, we'll see you in the promo. Charlie Kirk be with you.