The Yard - Ep. 242 - Ludwig Stopped a Fight

Episode Date: March 18, 2026

This week, the boys talk about Aiden getting his girlfriend addicted to games, Slime finally learning how to run, and how Ludwig settled a neighbourhood argument... Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We've sold merch in a long time. We haven't, and he never will again. No, we're done with merch. We're getting rid of clothes. No, this isn't really what I was expecting. It's over. We're selling the merch again. Really? Then what?

We restocking old stuff? We resocked old merch that people ask for. What kind of old stuff? We're the old and the new guy. The black. One of us tells lies. The black shorts? I'm not lying right now.

No, one tells the truth and one tells a lie. Are we putting the black utility shorts back on sale? I'm seven feet tall. And are we selling the auto jacket in the landscaping hoodie that both modeled by slime. I'm seven feet tall. Yes. You only say one lie? And there is there one more? And the ever dream this made t-shirt. Is that what you want to hear? It's going to be back. The ever dream this made t-shirt is going to be back. Wow. But in a month. Our Minecraft server for patrons is back up.

If you want to check out the, uh, our Minecraft's hot again. And you can kill Barnabas in the server. Don't say that. Because he's not real. It's not if he's not real because it's real in your head. Get the old merch. Enjoy the episode. I think if you live your life as an animal. like you transition, like you become like a lion. I think we should get to eat your body. It's not, it's not cannibalism anymore. Are you saying we just get to, but it's still cannibalism, but it's not. No, it's not cannibalism.

It's just not. It's not. I mean, that's a tiger. We put you in grocery store plastic and we cook you on a blackstone. We could you like some wag, some A5. It's a leopard man meat. Oh, by the way, if you didn't realize, Ludwig's gone, he's in China right now. But I want to, I want to give you guys a bit. of an episode from Ludwig's life,

which we all read in the group chat, which is very, very, honestly, it kind of made me annoyed because I'm like, if he wanted to write well, he could. He wrote something that happened to him in a very convincing, riveting way. And maybe the story tells itself sometimes,

and it's easy. Yeah. But, so this is Ludwig. He sent this like a day before he went to China. I had crazy neighbor drama. Dude was pissing on the street, and my neighbor pulled up and caught him. All these sentences are line breaks,

which is kind of interesting as well. It took up so much space in the chat. Every sentence, full line break, new sentence, full line break. He's ready to double space essay in the group chat. It's kind of like a LinkedIn like, a victory post about like, you know, how your body's a temple and shit.

But he said, it was a delivery driver trying to find a secret place to run it and got unlucky. My neighbors are this married Armenian couple and then the wife calls the cops, the husband blocks a driver from leaving. They somehow convince themselves

the driver has their package they've been waiting on, but he just doesn't. She screams my name, Ludwig's, I guess. She saw my TV was on, so I go out. I tell the husband not to stand in front of the car, but as I'm doing that, the driver, he's black, calls the husband an idiot and says the N-word, parentheses, colloquial. Our media neighbor rips it hard our back. Yeah. I'm like, whoa, now you're in the wrong.

Yeah. Mr. Mime has Reflect, bitch. Fleming says, I get him to apologize, open parentheses. He was saying Armenians low-key count. I was like, not really. Me ripping the hard hard hard and be like, I count. I'm Armenian. Which is why I wielded it then.

The delivery driver is trying to dab me up, but I just nod because he has piss hands. I get him to apologize for peeing, and then they go their separate ways. I dead ass think being a cop is so easy. Yeah, he posted a very sweet screenshot with his neighbor who was like, you are such a kind man. Ludwig's like, just doing my job. Just being a neighbor.

Also, you guys can't say it. Armenians can't say it. I want to double down. Tell your husband he can't do that. Don't get to say that word. Can we agree on that? So, yeah, that's Ludwig's contribution to the podcast. Insane, by the way, for a delivery driver to rip a piss on a, on a neighborhood street.

Oh, come on. Think about his street where he lives. Where are you pissing? I, yeah. You make it happen. This is exactly what I thought about. I think it's specifically his street. It's like there's nowhere to piss.

I'm not trying to fucking put him on blast, but like there's nowhere to piss. I think you block yourself off with the truck. I think love finds a way. A quick piss is a quick piss. He's probably also done this so many times that he's pissed more than he's got caught, right? Yeah.

So he's running beautiful numbers. Yeah. I have a question. I've talked about it before. I live near, like, a school. Like a Montessori school. I thought you weren't allowed within 100 feet. Shut up.

So I fucking, with this day one shit, with this day one shit from a guy who's going to get a scalp burned off. I'm going to like it. Like vulgar. Anyway, it's going to grow up. My question is, if I'm out working out in my backyard,

it's completely butt ass. But ass. They can't see me. No one can really see me. But is this happening? No, I don't do this. I do it in my,

I do it in like at the very worst Like tiny little shorts I'm fishing you have bag Buck naked Punching the shake bag Punging in the shake bag Cock flopping around like 28 years later It's hitting the side

Tric close enough to like hit the bag And my question is That's probably bad to do That's the answer to my question You're gonna ask What are you originally gonna ask Is it bad to do? Is it bad to do

But you said you're completely blocked off I am, I am, I am But it's like It's still, I think what makes me What makes me morally Righteous on the planet Is because I know that I am blocked off But I still wouldn't do that

Because you never know In case, what do you? In case you never know Because one of those stupid rascals Might climb over a fucking fence Yeah And all of a sudden I'm fucking screaming at the shake bag

Butt ass Stained ass My stained butt Is it stained? I would argue If I'm mad enough, I stain my ass. Yeah, I stain it. Like with...

What do you think? Actually, you know, what do you think? It doesn't matter. I would argue it's important for you to do that because it teaches the kid a lesson about privacy. Dude, they would never forget that. And they would never intrude on another person's yard again. Like a six-year-old just climbing over a fence and seeing essentially an insane zombie of a man.

Not only would they never forget it, no one would believe them. I swear he was naked he was doing karate Of like tool out of the JBL speaker It would just be the most insane shit That would ever I don't think it's wrong I think you I think you look you have your own home You can be naked and fighting a picture of shaking your backyard

It's your fucking goddamn riot as an American I think I do think if there is a way If there's a line of sight to Specifically a school You shouldn't do it I think if there's no school at all it's kind of free game. I think if your house backed up to a school and if you peer through the vines of your gate, you see the children running around as they play and gather. Yeah. Kids looking

through the hedges on the backside. Pretty, don't even be naked in your house. Yeah. Just don't ever be naked. Yeah. That's, I think that's, that's pretty much. I mean, that's what I've been doing. But I wanted to get a bit of a council situation on this. I think in your specific situation, it's kind of your American right. Really? Naked in your backyard. How about you say that on L.S.? How about you go on L.S. And you say, Netanyahu's been alive this whole time. And I'm happy for him.

Netanyahu is alive. That coffee doesn't spill, though. We're supposed to believe he's human. And you should be able to be naked in your yard near a school. These two things are unrelated. They're unrelated. And I am on lemonade stand saying this. Yeah, he had sometimes too many teeth and at times too few.

Well, let me rephrase the question to make it harder to answer. Can you be naked in your backyard? if you live in a school zone. I think in a proper society, you kind of shouldn't. What I do think is that if you don't take proper measures, then you should be put in jail.

You have to have shown some sort of effort. What if you dress up like the diagram in the textbook? And they go, oh, that's the diagram. That's the naked guy in the biology book. Are you saying you need to meet like a hedge size threshold to be naked in your yard at a school zone? I think you need to have demonstrated. a clear and distinct effort to obscure the vision of your backyard for not just nudity,

but anything that a child would not want to watch. Perhaps, you know, R-rated movies. Let's say you watch R-rated movies in your yard. In my yard. In the daytime. On a projector. On a projector. And it's, it's blown out because it's during the day. It's hard to watch. It's hard to watch. It's bad setup. Honestly, I could be watching anything and these kids probably wouldn't see it. But it's an R-rated film. But it's still an R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R. It's a classic. It's a classic. They showed boogie nights at a movie in the park, man. That is crazy. I saw it happen. I was there and there was kids everywhere. And you know what? Those kids are fine, man. They grew up fine. They watched boogie nights. Yeah, they watched it. They saw the scene.

Uncensored. Getting dicked down. Uncensored. In the penis scene. And she says, come in me. All of that. And there was children running around the park. Ha ha ha ha ha ha, fucking play with the basketball. That's, I don't, maybe I'm a puritan. Is boogie nights not a film for all? Not only, the screen, the screen, like the size of the screen because it was a massive like public movie in the park day like like you know it wasn't like 40 people or like hundreds of people the screen's enormous it's like looking at the sphere outside of your like hotel in Vegas like all the neighborhood houses it's impossible to it's impossible to not see like if you lived if you lived like a block away you could see his penis yeah dude that's crazy

that is kind of crazy and you were you were attending this viewing in the park and there were little kids, right? Yeah. I feel like that has to be illegal. Like, actually. Is it? Well, isn't it? Does Paul Thomas Anderson get a pass?

There's no way. Paul Thomas Anderson never gets a pass. He doesn't? And keep that month. Because of how he portrayed jungle pussy? It doesn't, exactly. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter if he made one battle after another.

In ways that some could consider insensitive. I don't know how they got away with this. But that's what I'm saying is, like, you, like, movie theaters have to ID you to go see a rated-at-R movie. There's no way you can just launch boogie nights in, like, a public park. I mean, there might have been, like, I don't, this part I don't remember, this is a long time, you know. But maybe not. But there might have been like, you got to show your ticket, and the ticket requires you to be 18. And so they're kind of like, families show up.

It's more like the American system implores you to govern your own household. Yeah. You know what? You say to your kid, Boogie Nights is outside. You stay inside tonight. Yeah. Or Boogie Nights is outside and you're going to go watch. You're going to watch Boogie Nights. You're going to watch. You're going to see what a grown man penis looks like. You're going to see the whole scene with Julianne Moore. The long sex scene. That's very intimate. You're going to watch that. Wow. And they're like, what about Fortnite? But what's the line? What can we show up movies in the park? And what can we not?

Boogie Nights is over the line. I would say, you know what? I'd like to all shake hands and say boogie Nights is probably Bogie Nights is over the line. What about Zach and Miry make a porno? Is it too crass? Over the line. Over the line. Because they have sex in the movie. I think a prolonged sex scene about porno. You want sex to be taboo. You want kids to not learn about it? Yeah, maybe. I don't know. What about like heat?

Heat's totally chill. Heat is chill? He's fucking dope. We're comfortable with showing the children vicious violence. Too long. But not two people who love each other? It's too long for the park. It's too long for the park. Is there a food truck nearby? Okay, okay. He eats over the line, but only because it's too long. It's too long for the park.

No Irishman, no he, no godfather, no Goodfell. Well, Goodfellas, maybe it's like 2.15. Good, yeah, Goodfellas is right there. What about knocked up? So what it does, it does depict nudity. There is a scene where Catherine Heigel's vagina is being stretched out by a baby. Very brief, very brief frame of that. But that's birth.

That's birth. Birth. Birth. Which is like when you have sex with God. Birth is like having sex with God and God deliver and giving you a baby in your pussy. I think that's educational. I think that's good for the park. I think that's fine.

You think knocked up is good. No, I think that's maybe the least offensive things in knocked up that we can worry about. What about? Should we not be comfortable with birth? What about the scene in the born identity where he has sex with the love interest? it's only like four seconds of a scene. Kids can watch sex scenes, man. In movies that are covered with the blankets.

Well, what about the park? When it's like mom and dad, it's like, also that's what mom and dad do when there's noise. I learn from TV. There are kids that night that learned about sex from boogie nights in the park. Which is probably a bad movie to learn about sex from. And then that kid grew up and became clavicular too. That guy, that guy, that guy is. is definitely bone smashing now.

I feel, I do feel myself get more, more protective as I get older. Can kids watch murder scenes? No, but that's what, that's what I'm saying, is it, this is a, I don't know. This is a real piece of common. I think, I think the sex scene

in the born identity should be less offensive than him fucking murdering people. This is a bisexual take, I'm not kidding. I think it's based. That's bisexual, take, you're bisexual. I think it's a based bisexual take. And I'm bisexual, Aiden, would you like to make out later? Why don't you go have bisexual

sex with each other? You killed my role play in the car for one. Yeah, you're talking about gripping my thigh? What were you talking about? No, I was trying to get you a coffee man. I said I lightly touch your back. And then he just... No, you did. And I was like, I've never heard him say those words. And I kiss your name. You said I lightly touch your back and I move my hand down. Yeah. It's speakerphone in the car.

Can you say that in front of your children? Hey, let me ask you a question. That's for us. Let me ask you a question. That's for us. Your future children. Okay. Your child is, your child is, let's say he's 10. Yeah, he's 10 years old. Okay, I'm a parent, my child's 10 years old, and he comes to you and he says Dad, I want to watch

Blank. What is the absolute fucking limit of what Blank could be where you're going to say, sure, let's watch it together. For my mom, it was crank. Let's watch it together. I was 15, 16 years old, it says before I was 16, she said, you're not watching that movie. 16? She's like, I'm taking it back to the video store. Damn. Jason Satham, banging out Amy Smart on the street.

It's too crass for me. You're two years away from saying pay rent. And she did. She charged me. Two years you get to pay rent, but right now you can't watch Crank. That's how she rolled. Which one? Once you pay rent, you can watch Crank.

And God damn it, I'd better be able to. I think he's definitely, or she, they could watch Born Identity. That's fine. Really? Born Identity is a chill film. Yeah, for the most part. Isn't it PG-13?

It's not particularly violent. It's a fine. it's a very middling action movie. Yeah. What about... The ceiling is hard, though. What about super bad? 10 years old?

10, I don't think so. They're 10 years old. No, I don't think it's appropriate for 10. You say no, thank you. For 10? It's funny because my dad would, maybe almost in defiance on my mom, he would sit me down,

and he would sit me down, it's like, we're watching Blazing Saddles right now, but it's one with words that a kid should not say. That's what I think. It's more about the language. I think you have to, that like your kid has to be smart enough to parse that the language isn't just cool to copy. What about a controlled viewing with dad?

That's what I'm saying. I included at the end, it was like, I'll watch it with you. Oh, I think that chance that actually hires the ceiling of things. Definitely. You can explain things and you can. Ten is still too young for Superbad. Okay. Like, hey.

Yeah. And that's your parenting style. Okay. That's fine with me. But where is it? Now what's it like in Coolsville? Coolsville. You want me, Nick 11 for Halloween, kiddo?

Hell yeah. Let me get you the Hawaii ID. I'm going to get your own little ID. Go around. It's cute as fuck. Oh my God. And then you're going to enter the first grade. Funny is shit.

What about that? Your stupid Swedish kid's not going to have any fucking sense of humor. He actually will be a humorless European. He will view the world as it is. And he will never, he will not laugh until the age of 16. I said something about, uh, I said something about, because there was that, the soldier that got killed in Iran. He was like the first one ever

And he was like this 22 year old kid And I'm like, they're making a big deal out of this now But it's gonna get kind of awkward When this happens a lot more And they don't get like all the likes You can't give all the likes to No, you can't All the people that die for Israel

But some guy beneath was like I don't know why Americans are so sensitive To soldier casualties And I was like I reply is like, you're just autistic And you don't understand social texture at all Because just nobody likes that Right?

And that is going to be your kid. Your kid is going to be under, like, posting on X, on X, too. He's going to be posting like, I don't know why people get so upset when people are dying. He made the sandwich. It doesn't make sense. We all die.

It's like, sure, you can make fun of it if you want, but you can also be sad about it if you want, but to be like, I don't know why people are upset. My father doesn't spend much time with me, so I type on the computer. I know wasn't allowed to watch a super ad. Don't know why is tough. because it's just the easiest lay up to

why don't you try explaining it? Oh my god I should just say that. Why don't you try explaining it? Because it's like what? They're going to act like they can't? They fail? No, they're going to explain it. Probably pretty easily. Yeah, you're going to explain it. You're fine the answer. I'm doing this now. I did this in the Ask Us channel in the Lemonade Stand Discord.

Somebody asked a stupid question and I was like I want you to spend two, I want you to brainstorm at home for two minutes your best answers to your own question and then come back to me. That's all it takes. Yeah. Think about it for a little bit. Aiden's coming to the dark side. if the secret is he's always been there i've just i've been the soldier covering the bed yeah yeah the knives right down but now he's on the podcast with two like born and bred

content like cunhounds yeah who are just they love views and they love that shit i i message a truck i was like do you are you sad that you don't fucking game anymore like gaming content's over for you he's like no like what you like this shit he's like yeah i read books and i think about this shit all the time if i played games it would be bad content it would be age of empire, it was me streaming it for three hours saying nothing. And I'm like, oh, you've always been a piece of shit. Oh. Because he doesn't like video games?

More that he always wanted to do this. He was just playing hitman for a, for a, for a leg up. I see, I see. You know? Gaming was his stepping stone the way he wanted. What he wanted to do now, which is talking about whatever Elon did today. Yeah. Yeah.

What's Elon? Are you equally disgusted as him? Anyway. No, because I'm doing it now. So you are on the team with those two guys, but you're more of a real guy than them, because we're more real guys. We're all three of us, we're real guys. I think I get scared. We're real guys, bro. I don't, I'm real.

We're real guys, bro. I don't know if I'm on your team all the time, though. But most of the time aren't team. Honestly. Most time. Honestly. Not even. How much percent of time are you on my team?

Some of the time. How much percent to now? 50 percent? What percent of the time are we on slimes? The secret question. In all of life, all of it, all of it. In all, like every conceivable scenario, how often am I on slime seemed? Also, to be, to let me add something else.

This a couple weeks ago, a drunk driver almost crashed in me really, really fast. And so I followed him for a long time. And I didn't know what I was going to do if he stopped. And then he ended up driving so fast. Do we know that he was drunk? Yeah, he was sort of him pretty bad. And if he wasn't drunk, he was like watching a movie. Because some TikTokers just do this now.

It was a Honda accord as well. They whip it crazy on purpose for the vine. Maybe. I don't know. Or TikTok. But this is actually a perfect example. Because slime has a way of taking something where you're on his side. Yeah.

And making it harder to be on his side. Because he's like, a guy almost killed me with his car. And I'm like, wow, it's horrible. I'm on your side. That's bad. I don't like that. He's like, so I followed him. So I followed him.

I'm like, okay. Follow him. Maybe you shout to me out the car. Hey, asshole, slow down. No, I follow him home. But tell him to the extent to which you followed him. I followed him for a long time. I actually followed him for...

So much so. Oh, right. So he pulled into this apartment complex. What is you? Potentially where he lives. Potentially where he lives. So potentially followed him home. And then what did you do?

So I drive up to... It was like off the street, right? So I drive up and I block where you have to exit because there's only one way and one way. So now he can't leave his home. In his apartment complex. So I ask you again, as an American, I ask you again,

what percentage of the time? time are we on his side it's so crazy how important those details were Nick what it's all washes out it all comes out in the wash and it's like it's like probably

let's say 55% of the time over half 505 so it's plus EV to bet that you are on my side it is let me tell you something before I told you this this story yeah what was it probably it's 65 10%

You know what? I think it's 55 But I think it's Truly it's 50 But there's 5% That is me choosing Me saying I'm taking his side

As my friend You know If I was just a guy If you were just a guy 45 Wow 45 That's a little bit

With my friend 55 Wow I think it's because I know you So well And you So I understand I feel like

I have an understanding Of your mental framework and that moves the needle from 50 to 55. Sure, you can, you understand how I got there. It's actually not that crazy sometimes. Yeah. 5% of the time it's not that crazy.

Right. Sometimes. An additional 5% of the time it's not that crazy. I want to be clear, the example you gave earlier, that's in the 45. I will say, uh, he also said Archie, believe this. I think I would have. I was really mad, bro. You can't do shit like that.

A life for a life. I will say I will say So how this ended How this ended is that I thought for a moment I'm like I actually know somebody

who knows somebody Who died this way Where someone got mad And they came out with a gun And they killed them So I'm like well I don't really want that to happen So I pulled out of the The blocking that

That sort of driveway entrance Into this apartment complex As in like the pursuer Was killed by the person That was pursuing Someone did an offense of a road road rage or someone offended someone and then that person retaliated with words or whatever and then they happened in diamond bar and uh and so i was like you know what let's play this a little safe so i back

out and i allow them to leave uh the guy does a k turn takes off and i start following me again but what i'm realizing is he's actually driving so fast right now it's creating another situation of something that could have happened to me this is like a three in the morning um so i was like i can't do this. Like I'm basically making this person drive even worse and more dangerous. And also driving that way yourself to stay behind him. Yeah, yeah, which I'm not really willing to do. Um, so I went home. I wonder, and I was mad about it for a week straight. When you share all of this with us and I, that is shitty and that is that guy's sucks. Do you understand how crazy the second half sounds? Honestly, dude, you sometimes you guys will do this thing where you try to hold up a mirror and you say, what if you just heard me say this? Yeah. What if this? What if you said this to me? Yeah. And I think the funny thing is that I would have been like, no, I get it. No, I believe that. I believe that. I believe that. 100%. So what you're asking me is if this, if I was told this, oh, I'd be like, yeah, no, I feel you. I'm not saying that you wouldn't agree with me. I believe that. I believe that. I believe that. So you're asking me is if this, if this, if this, I'd be like, I'm not saying that you wouldn't agree with me. I. I'm not. I'm not. I believe. I'm not. I'm not. I'm. I

be also doing this or like be supportive. I think you understand the broader content. If I told you the same story, I might tell it like, yeah, and I'm kind of embarrassed. Like I followed him. And you're like dope. Yeah, I followed him.

Then what do you do to him? No, I wouldn't be gooning. But I would be like, I would be like, oh my God, really? I'd be very interested. And then whatever you felt about that, I would try to understand because maybe you are embarrassed about it

or maybe I don't think I'm very embarrassed. The only thing I'm embarrassed about is that I may have made this guy drive even more dangerous when he maybe would have not done that. Which is fair. But other than that, no, I was just I was really, really mad. Have you seen those

videos of the guys who ride their bikes like insanely? And they get as close to people, no, no, bikes. They get as close to people as possible. Have you seen this? Carry the torch for a second. I'm going to find this video because you have to watch it. It's absurd. Yeah,

it's this is the episode where we talk about motorcycle accidents. Specifically. And it can happen in so many ways. So many ways and so many foreign ways too. And in foreign countries, I don't even know the ways it can happen.

We were saying that when Ludwig got there, the reason why he got held up for a day is because they had to turn his blood Chinese. Yeah. No, he had to get a physical. Do you know about this? Oh, God. His breath and his blood are both Chinese now.

So he's Chinese. I think they did it. They put him in the machine. Yeah. The changing machine. In order to give him the Chinese driver's license. Ludwig had to, when he got to, I think like Guangzhou is where they flew into, in order to get the license that he needs to drive a motorcycle in China, he was told that he needed to do like a physical or something for them to like approve that he is ready to ride a bike. And we don't know what happened yet, but he got like held up and they lost the first day of their trip because like the DMV experience didn't go well. So I can only assume his blood was. difficult to transform. Maybe it was difficult. That New Hampshire American blood was...

It's the live-free or die blood. It was very resistant to the Chinese machine. It doesn't want to be changed. It was very resistant, but science and China finds a way. And so they changed his blood, Michael's blood too, and so now they have Chinese blood, which is cool, I guess. Yeah. And we don't know if they'll come back. Now they're just flying down the highway. I think this might be it. Just inappropriate Spades. I would hope not. Goofy not. Honestly, I would hope not.

Do you think about Michael? Michael in the back, just cutting comms with Ludwig and going, ah! Oh my God. Yeah. I wonder if it's kind of a cried wolf situation.

One of these days, Michael is going to go, and then Ludwig is going to not turn around. It's going to be real. He's going to not turn his head back. And then he's going to be mad at Michael and then drive an additional 10 miles

before he really. 10 miles and be like, anyway, Baca. And then he's over the, what's the Chinese version for Baca? Why don't you know that? I don't even want to guess. You could try.

You want to try? You want to try for me? Nope. There's no way I'm finding this. Fuck, I thought, I've seen this video so many times on my timeline, but I don't know like what words to use. It's crazy.

It's a sport of basically going on the back wheelier bike, doing a wheelie, going on the back wheel your bike in like parking lots, getting as close, literally, close to people with their whole bike. Like imagine two tires parallel to your body this close to you and then they swerve.

And they just do it to people in public. It's insane to watch. I can't look away. Yeah, but it's like, oh, it's absurd. That's must-see TV. If you can like deep dive while we're talking and maybe find one based on that description. With Ludwig's trip, by the way,

I'm weirdly more nervous about this one. I feel like he's proven that he can do it. So like, you know, it should be less nervous, but for some reason I'm more nervous. Are you nervous that he's not gonna finish it? nervous that he's going to encounter some sort of trouble. I'm more nervous that he'll get in some sort of more serious trouble for trying to do what he's doing.

Like he'll be somewhere he shouldn't. He'll be filming somewhere he shouldn't. Well, I think in, I was talking about Dan, uh, talking this with Dan and I was like, Dan's like, oh, he might, like, he might end up in, like, jail for a fucking day or something. And he'd be, and Dan's, like, stressing out about it. And I'm like, dude, you don't understand.

Like, this is kind of that's content. That's kind of the best case scenario. If he goes to jail for a day? Like, in Ludwig's mind, It's not only just like everything's for content, because I think he's this way, even if there were no cameras and he was not a YouTuber,

he was just a guy. If he did a cross-country trip in Japan on a motorcycle and he went to jail for a little bit, he would think that was interesting. He would come back being like, yeah, I went to jail in China. Also the thumbnail of that daily episode, pretty fire. I mean, come on. Hit him and Michael Reeves behind bars.

Anything that isn't like catastrophic bodily injury, I think is ultimately a win for him. Yeah, as close as we can get to being shot as many times is 50 cent and living to tell the story, we're going to take that opportunity. But what if he goes down? It's Chinese 50 cent and he's saying if you he got hit like I got hit by, he ain't

fucking breathing. Imagine what's the Chinese currency? The yuan. R&B. 501. 51. This happens to you guys, I'm sure, typically, but I elbowed my girlfriend in the forehead last night. On purpose, right?

Because you're like, gah. What are you doing? What are you doing? a story aiden wake up what happened the fuck is going on you know what you're so tired and I think it's being a problem on the podcast why are you so tired why are you so tired sleeping here you've been sleeping here on the chair in the yard yeah because my girlfriend kicked me out and keep out with her in the fucking head well yeah we were doing the

same thing it's yeah it happens all the time we were asleep you didn't hear our okay what do we what do we right now I think we need to solve this problem first and then we can solve the at court case I'm in later on. Well, it's actually very convenient because we're in the middle of a Helix sleep pad and I think that you could probably use a new mattress

if you're this tired? Do they sell like elbow pads? No, they don't sell elbow pads. No, no. But they have a sleep quiz that you can take and they offer 20 unique mattresses, Aiden, so your weird body

and also the probably normal body of your partner. Wait, do they sell like... Can both be accommodated for. We're like queen and king size mattresses? Because right now... That's kind of level one in mattresses. Right now, we're only like that's included, yeah.

Right now we're just both on a cot. You're on a cut. That's so why. You don't have to be. You make plenty of, like, I don't even know why you're like... I'll get one with you because we seem to have the same problem. We toss and turn at night and then the elbows start flying. I'm not in a cot. Is the cot too warm ever?

The cut's too warm? Well, the bed, then you realize the helix sleep matches. We have no blankets and we just use body heat. And then I kind of roll and then she is a bruised face. I'm doing this to her. Well, anyway... To save money. Sure.

Well, you... I want a good deal. Well, the thing is you save money in the long run. from not having to pay the price by using Helix Sleep. This is the last mattress maybe you'll ever need to buy. You can go to helixleep.com slash the yard for 20% off sitewide. That's helixleep.com slash the yard for 20% off site wide. And make sure you enter our show name after checkout so they know we sent you.

And enter Aiden's name too. Fuck it. So they know that he's okay. Okay. Yeah. Just say, is Aiden all right? And it won't probably won't give you some sort of discount. But you can just ask the system that and maybe it'll answer it for you.

You just try. You can just check in. You can't sleep here. Ask me how I'm doing. You're not allowed to sleep. I wasn't allowed to sleep here, so you shouldn't be allowed to sleep here. We'll talk about this later. Let's get back to the episode. I'm, I kind of having a bad morning because, Zippoor, you could pull up the thing I sent you. Basically, I've been playing Minecraft again, hardcore, and it's actually kind of cool because I beat it, so I'm doing all this endgame shit. It's very risky. And again, it's one life. And so I did this thing where I was like, hey, guys, Barnabas, it means a lot to me. Here's the seed for the, for me. For, for me, for, for, for, my world. You can go into the exact world that I am in and I haven't died yet. And you can go take a picture with Barnabas. That's smart as fuck. You know, and like, because I'm planning to die in this, this game, right? Like it's, I'm keeping doing more and more risky shit. And I'm kind of like, it would be cool to meet Barnab, talk about how Barnabas touched your life as well as mine. Take a picture with Barnabas. You go find him. And one person, right when I said this on stream,

they did. They took a bit. They found Barnabas took a picture with him. It was very sweet. And then the second guy did this. So he, so, this is the village where he lives. This guy, he tagged me on Twitter and said, you couldn't save him. So this, oh my God, he lowers down. This is the top of Barnabas's house in a cage.

As Barnabas himself, he punches him. There's Benis, the dog that I got, a couple runs before that, that I left in the nether, and the ancestor turtles, they're all in a cage. And he's floating around, they're trapped.

And then he zooms out really far. pulls out, what is it called in the game? Oh my god, what is that? This is an orbital rail gun that's not even in the game. Now he's painting the target and Oh my God.

And then he goes into spectator mode. What is this? I know, bro. Isn't that? That's not even in the game. What is he? Why is he? He's like Dr. Manhattaning. I guess, bro. It's like Akira. He's basically... Oh my. God.

Yes, bro. It's an orbital strike of like antimatter energy on Barnabas and Benis and the ancestor turtles and it takes a while to warm up because it's a really

crazy weapon of mass destruction and then he zooms out even more. Oh my fucking God! And then it says Benis was obliterated in orbital strike. So we just

we just watch and that's what I'm dealing with this morning. Maybe my kid a wall-washed Superbats. last. That's over the line.

You can't show that in park. You can't show that in a park. That's crazy. Fucking, how do you, I wouldn't even know where to start. I don't know. It's not in the game.

Is that a mod? To do that? Probably. I mean, no, it's in the game. Come on. What do we? No, I'm serious.

There is not an orbital strike real gun. Orbital strike in Minecraft, bro. Yeah, no. You go to the NCD. You just edit everything. That is so fucking funny. Oh. it's one of those

what is it from where it's like like you can kind of humanize anything and it's like look look at this invisible little frog yeah it's like and everyone goes ah he's done you've done this he's done this but we've named this one Barnabas and now you care about him

he retaliated against me and so doing the most fucked up thing you can think to do to Barnabas I actually I kind of saw this coming in a way I'm like people are going to be like shit and I'm just going to have to deal with that You're gonna watch.

You'll watch. But I really hope that those people, I will, you know, I will just ignore those ones and the people that more celebrate Barnabas and celebrate the Minecraft runs that we've been doing.

I would like him I'd like him celebrate him. I think that would be way more cool. Celebrated him. Because it's been very, it's nerve-wracking, bro, because like I have these missions of these things I want to do.

It's like, go to the Woodland Mansion, get-back, go to the end, which is getting like the fucking, it's the craziest part in the game. And this is just very dangerous. And I go live and I'm like,

dude I'm holding control to not fall off an edge and I'm shaking. It's my one life. It's hardcore. When you die in hardcore, is it like a, you lose everything, right? So you can like still load the world again.

You can though. Well, okay, no, you have to copy the world and then load it in a different way. So you can play it on normal or whatever. But I don't think you can get your shit back. So if you die in hardcore normally without reloading the world,

does it just, do you start on a new seed? Do you respond to a new seed? You just start a new world yourself. It doesn't automatically do it. Oh, it just puts you back to the main menu screen? Yeah, yeah. Wow.

It's over. It's over. It is one life. What is the... Which is very cool. What is the end game of Minecraft? Is it so you get those wings? You get the lighter wings. Yeah.

Which is what I got. Spoiler. Sorry, pussy's. Sorry, he thought I was gonna fucking die. I fucking did it. There's a couple things you can do. There's like the Wither boss. He's like the hardest guy in the game. There's the warden who you're actually not really meant to kill.

You have to find him in the ancient city. They put, it's amazing game. They put a bunch of crazy shit. Is all that stuff post game or is that end game? I mean, you could access it whenever you wanted, but it's, you know. But if you defeat all the big bosses, are there like post game like fucking fetch missions and bullshit in Minecraft or is it mostly just like. It's all what you want. Yeah.

Yeah. It's not, it's like the bosses are there for you to either find them or summon them. Or you could just build a machine that kills cows. Like, it's what you want, dude. I remember, I mean, the first time I ever played Minecraft was when it came out on the Xbox 360 arcade. and it was different. It wasn't the full game. It was just creative mode.

Oh, right. And I don't believe you could beat it. There was no Ender Dragon? I don't think so. If it was just Creative, then probably not. And I don't remember when, like, when did the Ender Dragon

come into Minecraft? It was like 2011. Oh, so, wait, did I? I don't think I had played yet. So it was in the game, just not on Xbox. So my idea of Minecraft was very tainted by what the Xbox

told me it was. Sure. Which was, hey, you have infinite material. Here's Legos. Yeah, here you go. Play with Legos. And I was like, I like playing with Legos,

especially with my friends. Yeah, I mean, it's Minecraft. Hardcore is like the, I think, this cool version of the game. You cannot beat the first version by fighting the Ender Dragon. Yeah, it's just not in there. Well.

Let's see, there you go. Well. Title Update 1. It's funny because it's like, it's such a Roorshack because there's so many ways you can play the game. And Ludwig plays it in like the melee way. He's literally like speed running the game

in like a competitive environment, like a 1B1 environment. Yeah. And I am playing it in like the Dungeons and Dragons role play away. Dude, in the game, there's so much shit. You can get a book and then a feather and an ink sack from a squid and make a book and quill. You can write in a book for like 100 pages. So every time I've been going on these like post-game missions, I write about it.

And then because I'm expecting to die. Yeah. And they're called Final Fantasy. The name I made up. Yeah. And then, yeah, and I make it back. and I put it in Barnabas's chest and I'm like, this is for when you're older.

Dear Barnabas. Yeah, I write to Barnabes. Isn't that funny? I'm having fun. It's just like, it's basically D&D with blocks and you're alone. It is perfect. It's like, it's just a sandbox.

You can do anything, you can be anyone. Video games are awesome. And then that guy did that. Yeah. Which is part of why it's beautiful. Part of why it's beautiful. It's just me screaming in Japanese and I'm the Akira monster,

just like muscles are growing out of my head. Dude, the four balls that separate and create a pillar to God. Like what? How do, I'm like second impact shit. I'm less impressed with how this got into the game. I'm more impressed at someone just like thought of it. Like it made it look like this. Is there a reference?

Right. I think the reference is several anime. Dude, so fucking. It even has a chromatic aberration. It even gets purple and green when it hits. Like someone really talented. What does the guy say? Can you click on the tweet?

He said, you couldn't save Barnabas? What's underneath that? Oh, it doesn't show it because it's X. He said, I asked, why is Benis there too, bro? He said, I traveled the multiverse

to collect the characters of your final fantasy. You did this. I'm having fun. You gave me the coordinates. I'm having fun. You're a little kid. I'm a little kid.

I'm a little bit of fun with some fucking crazy shit going on. So yeah, that's what I've been doing. I've been playing, I played Mario Golf the other day because on the switch they have like the N64 emulator. Oh that's the version you play you play you play you did you play an N64

Mario Golf? Yes with Ben with Benjamin Tulsa it was a blast but we were playing and I was trying to like you know to play the N64 emulator on the switch you have to pay like an extended membership and you pay for it so I paid for it because I was just like whatever and you can't pay for a month you have to buy the full year so I'm like whatever I'll

I'll pay for a year it's pretty gross 50 fucking bones that's great I pay 50 bones and there's no confirmation it just puts me back at the screen that says buy and me and Ben talk for a second we look back and I'm like what the fuck I didn't buy so I buy it again no I bought it twice they double charge and it lets you do that it lets you

it just it just extends the date so like when you buy it says like it says renew in 2027 if you buy it again it just says renew in 2028 you know what else is just absolutely predatory is that if you don't log into that service of playing those games or if you don't like play the games for I think like a month

maybe less time and then you try to load it in an offline switch for instance on a plane it uninstalls it doesn't uninstall it just doesn't let you access it so imagine your slime going on a big plane ride five hours you're like I'll play some Yoshi's Island I like that game I paid for it to play this little

emulator it says can't connect to the internet you can't play this that's disgusting that is disgusting it's only if you haven't played it in a while yeah there's like a timer so it's like if you don't log in periodically it doesn't it just doesn't let you do it But you also can't buy these games outright, right?

Like you need... You buy the service of all these emulated games, which is honestly, it's pretty convenient to have it all in one place, but I think it's crazy needless cost. It is... You are paying for the convenience, instead of buying a $50, like, Ambernik retro machine, putting it on yourself, doing all this work,

which is probably better for your soul. I think you can play these online. Isn't that the whole gimmick? It's like, you can, when you boot up the N-64 game, you can select online and then play with someone else on their switch. I don't know. I think what it does, it basically, I think how it works is like,

they kind of just parsec in to you on your switch. Oh, okay. And then you play land, but they're over there. Yeah. I mean, literally the way net play on like dolphin works, right? Is that how it works?

Yeah, old net play at least. Oh, okay. Like not, not like slipping. Yeah, you hosted, right? Somebody would have to host and then you're like, they're connected to your instance of dolphin

and are like sending their inputs to you. Yeah, but you're generating your own. Those inputs are generating your own emulation. Yeah. Like you're not watching their screen. And then your emulations need to like sink or something. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's the old days, bro. Now we got all that plays. That play is so awesome. Yeah, crazy shit.

Do you remember how you felt when you learned you could play melee online? With Slopey? No, no, no, with anthers and like Dolphin. The first time I loaded up, I was like, whoa, they did it. I was like, they did it. It feels horrible, but I don't care. I don't care. I'll deal with this for the rest of my life. There was somebody who terrorized, ranked at the time. his name was Mangohan.

Do you remember Mangohan? Of course. Yeah, that was Romeo, if you know SoCalheads. So, hey, sorry. Sorry, I expose you. I'm a Socal head. Because I asked the guy.

Where you go? We're going to go band for band on melee players? He played chic and I was like, I was like, he washed me and at the end in the chat. I was like, are you mango? And he's like, yeah. I was like, I guess I just played mango.

Romeo famously with Cam, they, when Psych, when, not Psycho, sorry, I was saying Cam's tag. When Slap City came out, they just became the goats and they would chop prize pools at the top.

Psycho Midget and Romeo. Yeah they'd get to first and second they'd be like you want to just chop. Him loved Slap City. Honestly, it had a moment but it was kind of a harbinger of things to come that no platform fighter would ever, ever, ever succeed no matter what.

I was on this, I was showing Ben that if you go to the Nintendo Switch store there's a lot of hentai on it. Yeah. And if you go, if you just search the word hentai or if you just commit to scrolling down on like the all games thing

and just waiting, Because there's like thousands of pages of hentai. It's crazy. That just are somehow in the Nintendo store. I don't really know how this works. Where in the store? God's gross. Where? You're kidding me. Accessible by on my switch and anywhere I know? I can take it important. Portable it works. I turn it on the switch and it's right there. Where's on the point? We don't have to press. I would still be able to press to get to this. Yes, I feel like we already talked about it. But zipper, can you look up hentai banana on Nintendo Switch? This was one of the first ones that I had found me and Dan were on the couch just looking. at all. And I was explaining to Ben, there it is, hentai banana. So basically all these games are like,

they're like this. They're like, I don't remember it. This is insane. They're like AI. They're like AI women. And I've never purchased one. I think I have to for the culture, but I've never purchased one. I think they're puzzles. And then when you complete the puzzle, it's a picture of the woman. Dude, it's 80% off. Some of them, this is the same price. Same deal I paid for over. cooked last night. Can you see if it'll let you go to the developer page? I would love to see the developer page.

Yeah, there you go. 17 Studio LLC. And then go to their page. All right. So let's scroll down and see some of their games. Dude, this looks like when train wrecks play steak and there's all the different slots. Yes. It looks exactly like that. So you got toilet hero. Oh my God.

And it's, you know, clearly Deadpool. It's like a... Hentai Tales Volume 3. Dude, is this just all AI? Keep going down. It gets a lot more egregious than this. Hinty Tales Volume 2? 9-1-1-cannibal.

That's obviously Hotline Miami. This is like the Asylum Studios where they try to pretend it's different games to fool you into thinking you're getting Hotline Miami or something. Does it let you search on the website for games? Hentai Project.

Oh, stop for right search. Just type the word hentai in. Maybe it'll let us see what's on the console. This is crazy. Here you go. I was getting squeamish at boogie nights in the park. See all? Let's just scroll for a little bit.

Anti-parody Tentacle Slayer Anti-Session. So a detail that I wanted to point out is some of these games are really expensive. Like I've seen ones that are like $300. And they're pretty much entirely created with AI and they're just on the Switch store.

Dude, this is insane. And isn't it funny that like Nintendo's like no mods? Oh my God. Don't mod our game. That is against the Nintendo family values. We're Nintendo, God damn it. We make the rules. I'd like to play hentai Velvet Touch. It's available now on the Switch, too.

It's called Hentai Photo. $70.70 for Hentai Photo Yuri Edition. Dude, are these all just puzzles? If you click in, they just say, like, go down. Dude, it's just pictures of an AI woman. Go out in the description. Yeah, there's no gameplay at any of the photos. Hentai Photo Yuri, a classic puzzle game where you unlock vivid and sensual illustrations step by step. So I'm guessing

it's going to be like literally a jigsaw That you create images of women with I love the broken In a way English We will collect all the details And reveal the most interesting secrets Dude This is like

Can Eddie Bearback make a video on this or some shit People need to know Maybe it's what we should do Maybe we should make the video Let's make a video Let's investigate all this shit Let's investigate it And I want to fucking

Can we meet and interview the girl Oh, we gotta buy it. We gotta buy it! We gotta buy it for the interview. We'll buy it on the... Okay, this is the studio. We developed games with creative gameplay and stories. This is all just 100% AI-generated.

Like, down to the atom, it is AI generated. AI, or... It was funny, because... You hit an object. Some of them don't look that bad. If you go to the one with the pig face on it... Oh, it was on the... Yeah, that was...

Did you see that? Even one of the other games is drawrider. Like, they just copied line. They just made... They're all stolen from somewhere. Some of them are just skibbitty toilet. Oh, and then I can go, wait a minute. Mario and Samis and Donkey Kong, my family friendly icons are one convenient place.

Oh, it's a super hentai puzzle and then ultimate hentai puzzle. And then hentai secrets velvet touch. Awesome. Hentai secret sexy women. That one says sexy. Benny Bearback, I beg you. You're the only YouTuber I trust. Eddie, please.

Eddie, please. Eddie and Jarvis and Drew Gooden. Explain it now. Make a joint video with all of you guys. Get everybody interview, Bill Trayin. Is that one doing Ahiago face? The Ahagau? It's called Ahagau.

Ah, ha, gal. I don't. No, that's not, yeah, it is. It is. Yeah, it is. Explain. Audio listeners, we are scrolling through, we went to the Nintendo store,

we typed in the word hentai, and we were scrolling through a massive list of games of AI-generated women photos. that all have hentai in the title for between four and like $70 for me. I don't wait, hold on.

Hentai balls 3D, rise of the curves. I'm so glad that that costs as much as maybe an older Mario game that I can also buy on this service. Isn't that cool? It does tilt me insanely hard. That like we, I can't. That.

They can take down a PM stream, but they can't fucking enforce this. Yeah, this is unreal, dude. I'm mad! I don't even remember why I brought it up. I think you brought it because you and Ben were gooning together. I can have a custom version of Ice Cold Mountain at my Super Smash Bros. tournament, but I can beat off to AI generated girls on the Nintendo Switch store

next to Donkey Kong? Make it make sense, Nintendo. You know what? You know what? If you remove the hypocrisy from it, I would... He's still scrolling about this whole time. I would think this is awesome if you could remove how hypocritical it is. Yeah, we've just suffered at the hands of Nintendo, an individual,

and I guess commercial ways. Yeah, there's a lot. There's a lot. We're not going to hit the bottom. It is an infinite scroll. Yeah. I mean, you just make them in a laugh. I actually can't believe how much there is. We've been scrolling for so long. And they've got DLC and they've got, I think some of these are like laundering schemes.

Are these all, they are all the same game, right? Anti-solitaire deluxe edition? Anti-anime anime girls sucky-y-wis. We'd welcome your feedback. Yeah, give some feedback. Please leave the feedback. window open. When you leave nintendo.com the survey will appear. Okay leave nintendo. Okay so let's leave nintendo and we're okay the matruvian man that's cool.

Zippe for doing some research. Okay there it is. Thank you for taking this survey. Your feedback is extremely important to us. Okay let's do it. All right Nintendo. Let's do it. Let's see how old are you? I'm a question. Well I'm 12 looking at hentai. Should we be honest or should we or should we be the worst case scenario for them? Let's be the worst case scenario. I'm 12. I'm 12. I'm actually younger. I guess I'm I'm actually 11. I just got back from seeing boogie nights at the park. That's it!

I knew it. They would close a survey because you're not allowed terms of service. Oh, fuck. They're not allowed to start... Go back. They're not allowed to start poll... Well, we already gave them the cookie.

No. Go back. You're not allowed to start polling 12-year-olds for information because it's probably illegal in a way. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fuck, we fucked up. They got us again.

It was a pit. It was a spike pit. No, it's good to know that a law firm in Oregon that they use are up to really good stuff over there. Oh, the hypocrisy is nasty. Yeah. Wow.

Anyway. Give them a piece of your mind. Don't say the yard sent you. Yeah. Because we already have issues with them. We're trying to stay out of... Don't fucking bring us into it. No.

I'm upset, but I don't want you to rock the boat. If you've got any fucking mods of hentai banana that you can send to me so I can get them banned. Get them, we get everything banned. We get all the shit banned. If there's a way to see the nipples. Nipples, to see the nipples.

We did it with Audust. Can we do it with these awesome girls? God, I wish I'd do the reason I was bringing all that up. Well, you did, because you were talking with Ben. Me and Ben, but there was a thing I was looking at on the hood of the floor. Me and Ben on the couch together, we were fucking, we were just getting loose. Zipper 2 wasn't at home. Yeah, I don't know what it is.

I think, oh, you said that there's a game that you had played, and I was talking about, fucking Minecraft. It's called Minecraft. That wasn't it. Great game. There was something else. God. I, um, dude, I actually got it, got my,

fat ass out of bed. Okay. And well I put out the bad signal on Instagram, which I don't think was a mistake, but it was more annoying than I thought it would be. Because I was like, can anyone in the LA area literally teach me how to run? And there was one guy that was like, hey, I live in LA. Uh, I go to ultimate locals. So I'm like human being and I'm like an ultimate player. It's fine. Uh, but he's like, I can't do this week. I'm like, okay, whatever. Then Radstad messages me, but it went to my message requests. We follow each other. I don't know why. That's weird. But Radstad's known for a long time. He's like, hey, I can help you do that. I used to run track. I'm like, don't talk to me. Don't talk to me. You're my message request.

No, I was like, why are you my message requests? That's crazy. Anyway, Radstad's took me out to the track. Tommy had to run. You figured it out. I figured it out. You downloaded. It's done. Well, now I have to practice. I see. But, because I've been running a lot more because I got fat, bro. I'm trying to lose some weight. And I've also realized I weigh 20 pounds more than when I used to run and I wait 190 right now and I it is so much harder to run. I'm carrying around 20 pounds with every pace every step. Yeah. I realized it's way harder because it's on my body. I can't get rid of it. Right. It's like holding 20 pounds attached to your tummy and it's really, anyway, I learned how the next hot dog race, you're about to see a phenom. I'm not kidding. Dude. Skinty. What if?

Skinty phenom who runs correctly. What if Mr. Bees came to you and was like, I want to lock you in a gym, for a year and if you lose 80 pounds I give you fucking I give you I would want his teeth 80 you'd want his teeth yeah he's gonna be it's gonna be unhealthy you're gonna be withered away 110 pounds well you can't wait it can't be locked in a mystery B situation it's gonna 20 pounds he doesn't want that the beast wants more the beast always demands more of us is gonna demand more so I said 80 you heard me if I was able to would accept the beast offer I would only accept the Bs offer if I could receive his teeth all of his teeth as tribute what about one tooth no one tooth no one all of

The big deal for him to give one. Then you want to find somebody else. I would like the winner of Beast games season three, they're like, please, Jimmy, no money. Simply your teeth. Simply your teeth will survive. It's a guy the entire series is Mr. Beas is like, one billion dollars. And the guy's like, no, I want your teeth to be clear. If I make it there, he's like trying to do this.

One second, dude, we're just recording the intro. No, no, no, no. If I make it there, it's your fucking mouth. Dude. Dude, he has an advantage because he doesn't want any money. Oh my God, that'd be so good for the Beast games. And all the production team, the finance guys

are, they're all rooting for him. Because they're like, they don't want to pay out. We won't have to pay. Every time Jimmy talks to him, he's like, hey, man. Hey, man. He's real funny, man. Keep that going to the show. He's just looking at anything.

He's like, he's like, I don't know to fucking wear your teeth with my teeth. I'm going to eat a couple too. I'm going to eat a couple. Where the rest. Dude, that I, that would put me on. I swear to Jesus Christ. do it. I don't need that damn money. I need his teeth.

Haven't watched an episode of Beast games. I'm locked in for that season. The teeth man? The teeth guy. And he's divisive. Some people love the teeth man. It's a favorite character. Some hate the teeth guy. But I think you have an inherent advantage because most of those games, as you've been told to me, because you watch it a lot, you'd make sure to tell me all about the show a lot. Yeah. Which off camera you enjoy, but here you're making fun of. Cool. Okay, I didn't realize you were Two-Face. They're the villain from Batman. So when that happens, I go, that's interesting.

And it sounds like the person's need for money tends to make them untrustworthy or all this shit. You can trust the teeth guy. No, yeah, because he's in the circle and he's like, no, no, no, you let me get to finals. You can have my money. I don't want them. I swear to Christ.

I just want his teeth. And you got like your eyes kind of go different directions when you talk and shit. Like you have to be a really convincing, like, insane teeth guy. He's got one super lazy eye. He's like, he's like, now what is to do me? Listen to me. I don't want any damn money. I have everything I need. I just want his teeth. Jimmy's looking at him like one of those paintings that follows you and you go around the room.

Hey man, you gotta relax with the teeth stuff because the network's getting really afraid that you might be here. I don't care about the network. You can't let me out. No, you shouldn't let me into Beesworld. I'm the mayor of Beastity now, bitch. You let me into Beast World because I thought beasts could come here. I'm gonna get your teeth, Jimmy, and I'm gonna go to your yacht. I'm gonna pretend to be you. with the theme card.

Oh my God, dude. There's a, so Street Fighter, has, Capcom has released, there's actually a big drama going on with Street Fighter right now because Capcom has paper viewed

their finals for Capcom Cup, like literal actual payper view. And it's a decision of Capcom, which is Japanese company, and it's, everyone hates it, apparently except Japanese people because Street Fighter is massive there.

It's turning into like a sport. And it's really annoying. But something else they did after this is they're releasing like these, what do you call it, athletic wear, costumes for all the characters. And a big criticism of the game right now is there's not a lot of costumes and they print money and they're just not making them. But they're for every character

has these like athletic like drive tech costumes. The reason why people are speculating is because Evo has been bought out by Saudi Arabia and their values don't coincide with characters that might be showing skin, especially women. So they made these like Saudi safe outfits, which is pretty gross. Whoa. There's a bit of precedent for this as well because our Mika

back in Street Fighter 5 is just basically a female luchador and you can see your pussy. Yeah. And they actually made someone during

top 8, I think maybe it was grand finals changed one of the costumes because it was on ESPN. Oh, I remember that. Whoa. So there's precedent

for this, but for them to actually have like tournament safe costumes particularly probably because And I'm paying for that version? No, it's free.

Oh, that one's on pay-per-view? Yeah. The ones I remember. The costume is free. So with older League of Legends art, there's laws in China that don't allow you to show like skeletons or bones in media.

So a lot of old league art diverged between the two versions of the game. As like everything has gotten updated, they've just made everything the same. But I used to have a Chinese league account. Of course you did. Sorry. Yeah.

I used like a fake Chinese passport number to make it. That's sick, honestly. Because I just wanted to figure, I was super curious, like, oh, how does this, like, they don't use our client. How do you do? How do you people play league? You play the game. And then I, like, figured it out.

And I remember you log into the game. And then, like, Carthus didn't have a face because they couldn't have the skull from Carthus. Or, like, in Counterstrike, there's a skin with a, like, a skeleton in a astronaut helmet. And in that version of the skin in Counterstrike, it's just. just an astronaut in China. Wait, Counterstrike skin? Yeah, it's like an M4 skin where it's like a...

Oh, a gun skin. Yeah, a gun skin. And... Fever Dreamers and shit. And there's a bunch of different league characters that had different art, but it was all because, like, China had different laws. Can you show blood? I don't know if blood was allowed.

I think it's specifically like skeletons and bones. Yeah. I mean, they are scary. Yeah. But they can be funny. This actually happened with Dota, but Dota did not make divergent games or divergent versions. they just had, they basically were like,

you know what, Skeleton King is now Raith King, and he's a ghost, and he's a man. And that was part of it. Unless, Zipper, do you know, did that have to do with Blizzard, maybe? It was more Blizzard? Some stuff was bone-based, but some stuff was just... There was definitely bone-based stuff.

There was blizzard-based when they changed WinRumner's name and shit. Finding out that, like, just Dung Xiaoping was just really scared of a skeleton, so... Get it out of the queue! I don't want any skeletons. I don't want to have to see... I don't have to see any skeletons in movies. Skeletons, no movie, no, no movies, no movies, no movies, no games.

You're gonna get rid of all skeletons. Yes. Can we do that? Everywhere? Can we do that? Can we do that? Well, of course, you're the king. Yeah, just, get rid of the skis. Me and the Pollitt Bureau, it's like, sir, uh, it's, I guess we could do that.

I guess we could get rid of all of the skeletons in the movies and the games. You're trying to be mainly about it. He's like, yeah, that sounds good. That would be perfect. I think it's just good for people. people. Oh, Lich? Wait, was this the Chinese Lich with a gas mask on? No way.

Wow. So there were divergent ones. I'm glad you could correct me here. It's actually so yeah, it's so interesting that there's just like hidden versions of characters in different regions for That's kind of cold, bro. I'm not kidding. The Sub-Zero mask on Lich? I feel like I'm in a minority of people where like when I see the Dota

UI I get very nostalgic because I'm remembering playing auto chess. You're definitely like one of five guys. I'm seeing the font and the colors for health and stuff, and I'm like, wow, auto chess is so fun. That's disgusting. Aesthetically? Yeah, it's an old old UI.

I liked autochres better than TFT. I never played TFT. I never played a frame of that game. No, I think I, no, I don't think I've ever played any TFT. The auto chess was cracked, dude. That shit was so fun. Well, Underlords was the successor, and it was honestly pretty good, but... Yeah, I didn't play it.

I just played the mod. Something was lost. Something was lost. I don't know why. Went under a while. Well, the game went away for a while. while Underlords is being created. You couldn't play it. Oh, right.

It was only Chinese. So they kind of zapped it for a bit. And I don't know what happened with like the creator of it. I don't know if they enlisted him to make it. If they gave him money or they sued him or what? No, dude, as a person probably knows this too. It, auto chess, the modder that did it was Chinese, I think.

And then they turned it into like a mobile game. Yeah. Oh, yeah. And that was the big move. Yeah. From auto chess to something else. Yeah. And then Valve and Lee.

and Riot got on their own versions of it. What a fucking trend senator, bro. This is how, this is just a memory, maybe I'm wrong. But yeah, that person created a genre. That's a wave.

That's a wave. Guys, a lot of big's in China. I know. And it's been very difficult for everyone here because his Chinese cell phone has banned all of his apps.

True. And we have no way to communicate with him or discuss business or any businessings or any sort of... We can't business at all. We can't business even at all. I don't know what to do. Because how will I ask

him where to put all of his crap in the warehouse. I just you could try maybe maybe if he had something that took all the ways you could contact him and put in just one place. You send him a letter. A letter? I could try something on a letter but that seems so slow and efficient. It doesn't matter if it's

slow, it's meaningful. But then how will he send one back to all of his employees under him and conduct business as he usually does? That's true. You do need away from a conduct business using technologies. Oh, that's right. I forgot that today's episode is brought to you by Quo spelled QUO, the smarter way to run your business communications. That's so crazy. How did I forget that? It's the Yard podcast

and we're selling a business communication service? Stuck right in the front of my lobe with my head, not even think about it. I would only use a software like this if it was like, probably if it served more than 90,000 businesses in the past. I think then maybe then you would use quo because it does do that.

More than 90,000 businesses from solo operators to growing teams. And your team or Ludwig's team can handle calls and text from one shared number and everyone sees the full thread making replies faster and customers feel genuinely cared for or in his case his employees feel generally care what if i'm scared of radio waves oh we can't help you no no you can't you can coo also sells a machine that disintegrates radio waves i forget that too but it's not about that

that's a different ad anyway make this the year where no opportunity and no customer slips away try quo q uo for free plus get 20% off your first six months when you go to quorum slash the yard that's Quo QUO.com slash the yard. Wait, where do I get the machine? Quo, no missed calls. No missed customers. And no missed machines. That comes two days after your subscription. It will arrive.

It is very large. It's large. It'll come on a palette. It doesn't have a return label. You do need a forklift. The other day we were here and I was just like, why the fuck is Nintendo not doing Pokemon Auto Chess? That is just billions of dollars waiting to happen.

Didn't they do that with lead? You combine three Charmanders, they evolve? What the fuck are we doing? And then Radset was like, oh no, they already have this. This is a game. It's a mobile game. And it's by, it's, it's Pokemon. It's not going to unite though, is it?

And I was like, wait, really? And he showed me, I don't know, can you look it up? Is it real? I don't know if it's real, if it's a mod or what? Is it real? Pokemon is DIP where if they just did it, if they just did it right, they could rule like every genre. They could rule the world!

Imagine a game on the switch! What do you mean by doing it right? Because I think you guys haven't played modern Pokemon games. Pokemon, unite. Oh, okay. So like as an example, literally a perfect world and group of characters for a moba. Yes. Of course.

And Unite, from my understanding, is kind of, it's only on the switch, right? It's kind of, and it's kind of a baby mode moba from the way people describe it to me. And it lacks, but if you put the like effort into it that matched up with like a league or a Dota, it's like the perfect game. This is it, right? This is it. This looks like auto chess. This looks like autochance. What exists?

which is so interesting this does not look like a mod this looks official yeah I think there might be some fucker going on to with like Pokemon company because I think it's different than Nintendo again I don't know

is this Chinese this is Chinese as fuck Chinese version of Pokemon Unite Oh is it inside of Unite Oh for real Bonus mode Oh it is awesome Well okay if you

If you have a girlfriend And that girlfriend has a switch They might most likely have played Pocopio right now, Pocateopia. His girlfriend hates video games and she watched, she just watched someone else play it and cried. That's what I heard too.

Yeah, I heard your girlfriend cried. She'd been crying over Pocopia. Also, we cracked the code on a game she likes last night. She occasionally brings up, because she hangs out with your, your girlfriends all the time. All of our girlfriends hang out all the time now. And she, I think my girlfriend feels left out

as someone who never engaged with video games growing up. We should isolate them. It's like we should stop them from sharing their voices and secrets. It's, I've been thinking about this. It's, they shouldn't be hanging out. No, they shouldn't. No, no, no, no. We'll reconvene later about this.

I think we can, I think we can prevent them from. I'm glad we're all on the same page. Yeah, maybe cages. We'll figure it out. Maybe cages. So, so yeah, your girlfriend watched my girlfriend play Pocopia. And then she just looked at one of the Pokemon and was like, so cute. Yeah.

And what did you crack the coat on? We found a game that she loved. Because we've tried, we tried Animal Crossing. She played it for like a week, but she's like, it's, she's so funny. She'll like put hours in and, but then be like, yeah, I didn't like it. I get, I like that though. That's a college try, which is fair, fair. That's a college try.

And, uh, she liked Sweke a game for a while. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, remember that. And we tried, like trying to get grandma to play shit. You want to play with blocks? Or do you want to play with little trains? We tried Baba is you.

too. Too hard. She didn't like it that much. And we landed on overcooked last night and she loves overcooked. Okay. Wow.

What about it? I think she just likes the little intensity of the task and the co-op when there's someone waiting for their salad and you haven't chopped shit yet I better get your ass on it.

First time we've ever played a game together, like not a single player game that we're playing alongside each other. I was a yelling at her. I was, I was, I was yelling at her. Yeah, because I'm, she's, I'm like, get me the fucking onions. Get me the fucking onions. I'm waiting. She's like, I'm trying.

Wash a dish. And like, press X and she goes, looks down to the controller. Exactly. Exactly. Dude, there's one map where the rats come out to steal your ingredients. She's freaking out. She's, yeah. But it's, this is.

the first game where she's been like super pumped to play it. Wow. She was like texting me about coming home today to play together. To grind. Yeah, to grind. That's, this is cool. You are like maybe a year away from getting her to fight Gwen to fight Ornstein and Smow. My girlfriend defeated Ornstein and Smell recently.

That was a very big day. And then she is blazing through the next sections. Oh my, she beat. Okay, so I'm gonna forget all the names of everything because it was fast. I haven't played ourselves before. But Okay, so the, you know the guy who's a clone of the first boss, but he's fiery? The first boss. The Dark Souls 1.

The first, the first, like, mini-boss. The first-aselm demon? The first, yeah. Capra demon. Yes. So she, she beat that in like the first couple tries. And then you fight this massive lava man. His name is actually the ceaseless discharge, which is very funny.

Yes, yes. And you, but you also, there's two fights. There's one that's like a big lizard man in lava, and then you fight the big guy with the multiple heads that you think you're talking about. Uh-huh. She beat the first one first try. Okay. Because she was scared, running away from it, and it slammed down.

She hits it once, triggers a bug, it falls off the map. Yeah. She did it. She first tried the speed run setup on accident. I think he, okay, to be fair, I think he falls off normally. No, Ben, Ben Tolson was here. Okay, Ben is there to audit. And confirmed, like there is a consistent setup for that.

But that was not supposed to happen. Yeah. So, after Ornstein. Mo, the game does, it's a weird curve. It's like, this is probably the hardest shit you've faced, and then it's like, you know what, Cruz for a while. Yeah, now she's in the section where, like, she's in the

caves and all the lights are off. Yeah. And there's massive fucking skeletons everywhere. Yeah, yeah, she's about to fight Gravelord Nido, which is another very easy one. Also, pinwheel goes down to, like, one hit. It's really fine. And she's on the way to Nito. But I'll bring this up because I got her into Slate the Spire. And at first

she was, like, you know, struggling. We'd do some A2 runs, and she's, I'm like, you sure you want to put that card. She's like, why? Like, fucking card's fine. I'm like, are you sure you're losing health for that? You shouldn't? You know, it's gonna be hard a later. And then she'd just beat Ascension 20. Yeah, that's crazy. She's been grinding like insanely. But she is so strange in that

Slate Aspire 2 has now been out for weeks. And as someone who has been as addicted to, she woke up early before work to play. That's how much she likes Slate the Spire. Yeah, this is also interesting if you're listening because like she doesn't play a lot of games. She doesn't play a lot of games, but not like us. and, you know.

But she's become a gamer. Yeah, she's definitely become one. So I went on a trip. You made her into a gamer. We went on this ski trip together. Turn it was stoner. In BC. And it was me,

Dan, my little brother, and her. And when we were at the cabin, she would just be on her switch playing Slay the Spire the whole time. And you had to be like, hey, hey,

hey, hey, friend time. This is friend time. It's time to hang out. It's time to chat. Oh, I'm so glad she's getting her fucking just desserts, bro. Well, what's so strange about it is like,

Okay, Slate Aspire 2 comes out. And I'm like, I'm like assuming that like, oh my God, we finally are going to be jointly excited about the release of something. Like, oh my God, it's like, you're going to go play this game. She has not played the game one time. She's still playing Spire 1. No, I feel that. And I'm like, why don't you want to play Spire 2? It's new.

She's like, I haven't beaten one yet. Yeah, that's fair. And I'm like, what? That's beat. This is why. And I'm like, okay, love you. But you're on Ascension 2 of all the other ones. This is going to take a while.

Oh, she wants to beat all the guys. She wants to A-20 all the guys before she plays Spire 2. That's real shit. She would love Bellatro. I'm like, oh, you can't show her that. I actually don't know if she'll like it.

Maybe not. But she's got the completionist gene. I'm like, are you sure it has multiplayer? Are you sure that you don't want both of us to be playing games? She don't play with your ass. That's a real fucking secret. You're talking about some damn multiplayer. Don't play with your ass?

You'd be like, no, not bad card. No, I can't see her screen. I let her play it. It's multiplayer. I don't see her cards. Play how you want? I play with Alex. I'll play with her.

If I can play with Slayd Spire with Alex, I can play with anyone. Yeah, true. He's a... He's never checked in. He locked in. He locked in. He cared.

I like that. I still, by the way, I don't know if this is impressive or not because I haven't been too tapped into like Slay the Spire 2 content, but I have not lost a multiplayer run. I have won every single one I've played. And I am now in double digits.

I think that's because you have two guys. It's easier, for sure. But, like, wind streaking in Slate the Spire is a thing. the world record in one is like 30. Dude, Ludwig's such a piece of shit because the game comes out on launch and Nick was like,

hey, Slate the Spire 2 guy he really wants to play with us. I ain't gonna play with his ass. And he was like, he's like Slay the Spire 2 and Ludwig pops in the group chat and he's like, Northern Lion played it for like three hours

only on stream. I think it sucks. Dude, what's so funny about that? I took what he said and I was like, I guess it does. This loosely fits a narrative I'm into supporting right now. what's completely unrelated to that

the next day I'm me Alex and Eric Eric Kurt Franken sons and I get a text from Northern Lion on my cell phone and I'm like Northern Lion and he goes just saw two guys in a coffee shop

wearing yard hats and I was like very cool I'm like how I'm like how Slay the Spire I just told me he hates it I'm like how a Slay Aspire do you like in it? He goes I love it's amazing and he's like when I get back for my vacation multiplayer I'm like yeah sure

that's so sweet and I'm like now I'm gonna pop This is my plan. My plan. I'm gonna pop up on stream. Ludwig's gonna be like, what's Northern Lion doing? It's like, oh Knicks off playing with him, not me. And I'm gonna hope that somewhere deep in Ludwig's brain, this hurts him. He will know he fucked up. He will know he fucked up. By doing what he accused you of doing when you were talking about clip channel shit and he was like, you can't just say it back. You can't just do that. But what he did was the same thing. It's the same thing. It is the same thing to you did. He told me he would play Spire 2 on his Steam deck on the plane ride to China. Whether or not he did, we'll find out in a month.

Sure. But for now... If he comes back. If he ever comes back, maybe he'll come back addicted to my favorite game right now. Sure. Possible. I just got too much. Dude, I try to boot up Resident Evil for the remake because I've been wanting to play it.

I get motion sick. I think it's over for me goats. You can motion set? Resident Evil 4 specifically. I don't know why. I don't know. I don't know. My girl gets motion sick from Minecraft.

Yeah, that's what... No, Minecraft, I'm locked the fuck in. There's shit, there's people to save and shit to handle. What's after Minecraft, man? I don't fucking know. You're a streamer. I don't know. The thing is, bro, I'm not.

Because I basically, it's like I do this league thing and then I don't stream for like fucking months. I don't care. Yeah, you're Clint Stevens, bro. I'm kind of, but I just like, I think... But you're a streamer. If this show didn't exist, I would probably be a daily streamer. because I like doing it and I think I could be good at it.

I do worry about the tolerance I would have. I probably would go insane, but maybe I wouldn't. But because I have the luxury of not having to do that, I just go live for fun shit. I go live for the fun shit and now I make a little story about what I'm doing and that's a fun dude.

It's a fun dude. It's a fun dude. But, you know, again, if the art podcast got carpet bombed, the idea of it. I do wonder what that would look like. You know, me, becoming a squeaks like. I think that's the closest thing. Don't you think that's the realistic like eventually the podcast will be over. Nah. Are you talking about it? It might not be.

It might not have to. It might not have to. You don't get to say that. Might not have to be over. You're fucking fleeing. You're fleeing in white paradise. We might get to keep it. Don't do it. Show it to me. Don't show me that. You would be the catalyst. It would be your fault actually. Literally, because I'd do anything for you guys. You would hop on a fucking video call

and be on the, that'd be so bad. Have you even... You'd get on your phone! You would be on your phone! Have you even asked me to stay? Yeah, okay. I want you to stay.

No. God! I want to throw your little Swedish kid against the wall and cantalope. But if the podcast would... I want to turn your kid into a dark child.

Daddy, my uncle, slimy. keeps mashing my head against the wall. It gives you throwing me so hard. And then we had to watch something called the super bad. I thought it was not appropriate for my age group. I did not laugh. I only deal or not to drink.

Dude, part with Jonah Hill's like talking about how he's going to have sex. He's like, I'm going to go down on her for five hours. I think, that's what you'll probably do next right like you'll you'll keep streaming. I have again a very awesome fortunate like world where I don't really have to I can do something else I could honestly I could I could I could probably find a middling low level job somewhere yeah and just do that

quietly and then maybe make I don't know me I don't know I don't know I don't really think about it I do think about the reality in which I stream every day because sometimes I get that urge I want to be like I want to flip the shit on at noon, play something for four hours, flip it off. That'd be kind of cool. But again, I think I would just go insane. I think I'd have low tolerance for- Catters. I just, you know, I don't have the streamer brain. Insane. I know what he's doing. I know what he's doing. What, dude. Because like, I go from being really normal to insane. Where you're at. Right now. We all see. Right now. I go from being normal, which I am now.

I want to do. We're normal right now. We're normal right now. We're normal right now. This is normal. You're normal now? You went and said, you're normal? You're normal? More normal than you'll ever be. Okay.

Right. He's more normal. That's the Deerian truth. That's on Deerian. You think it's not, but it's on Deerian. I'm more normal than you'll ever be. I don't.

Then I'll ever be? Maybe not you. Not normal. No, I think I write a book. I'm not normal! I think I write a book, bro. I just, I think about it. I think about sometimes I day,

I think instead of daydreaming about what my life is going to be like in the future in the past year. I've actually moved on and I've moved on to daydreaming about what your life will be like. I can't do this. I have a full I have full immersive experiences about what your life will be like and I think about it. I imagine a desolate desert home in kind of a Joshua tree type setting. I love the desert. You streaming every day and and me being like 10 feet of away from the driveway of the home, hearing you scream inside of it. That's, in your imagination palace, that's, you're there. He lives in the courage of the cowardly dog. And I'm pulling up, I'm pulling up, but you've forgotten I'm visiting that specific day. So you're not, you're live. And I'm, and I'm kind of happy to walk in on this.

And the door's unlocked because of course it is. Dude, oh my, he really is going through it all. Yeah. I sift through some things in the living room. there's like food on the counter. There's there's meat and coffee grounds on the counter. And I walk in and you look and you look back behind you and you're pleasantly surprised to see me. Because I am when you show up sometimes.

Yeah, yeah. Sometimes. Yeah. Well, I mean, when we would stream top eight sometimes, I'd be like, hey, you want to commentate top eight from my stream? And then you would show up and it was nice. Yeah. And I liked that because it was planned as a planned. One-on-one activity.

You like it because it was planned. I don't like it was a plan one-on-one activity. I see. If it was two of you coming over, I would probably... Two people? No, two people still within the limit. I would go... I would shoot a Kung-Low cowboy hat at you.

You've got one of your heads off. If me and Nick come over together, you're going to be... I'll say this. If I didn't plan for Nick to come over, Cung-Low. Fatality. So I just show up. You're like, leave.

One of you guys got to die. I don't care which one. It's probably Aiden. Yeah, you'd probably duck. He would probably be thinking about something else. He would be on my phone. I'd be on my phone. That's how you want to go out.

Just looking down to your phone and it just slides off your neck. Looking at a message that Lerick sent me that's a little too confusing. You know what? This is, I will give him some credit. Similar to his, it's weird because his story was written in the exact same fashion. This like double spaced, good, clear cut explanation of something.

And I've never seen him like this. Yeah. where he is, he's proactively messaging slack and Christian and yingling with like these long instructive messages about what to do when he's gone. And I, I've literally never seen this. Yeah. It's, I think he, I think he just knows the, the gravity of like this trip and how like, important it is to him and, including all the instructions, right? Yeah. But we've talked about this before where it's like, when he doesn't have access to an outlet, like making a video or streaming, he just really, that energy has to spend. I remember I used to be excited about him leaving. Like, he would,

like if he was leaving L.A. to go somewhere else that he wasn't streaming, it meant that he weirdly was going to be more responsive. Dude, he was on Twitter like a bunch, like a week ago. And I message him, he's like replies to people. He's like a very normal Twitter user. He's honestly, Nick, a little bit like me. He's replying to people. He's telling them that they'll never matter because they're mean to him. Yeah. Yeah.

Right? He's doing shit that people do when they're online. Like I'm fucking crazy. But when Ludwig does it, oh, Ludwig, but I message him. And I was like, are you, like, did your computer explode or something?

Why are you doing this all? Are you bored? He's like, I was in an Uber. Yeah. And I was like, oh. Dude, even just, whenever he's going on a tree, He turns into this guy.

He turns into the Twitter guy. He's replying. He's posting. He's doing all this shit. And I'm like, so you want to be this guy in your daily life, but you don't have the time? It pisses me off because I'll do this shit all the time because I have more time. I think being on Twitter a lot is just a measurement of how much free time you have. Or how much time you are spending evading work or something like that. His replies are different than yours.

You really think that? I'm going to find one, you cock sucker. Tell me, Slimer Ludwig. Slime or Ludwig? Wow. I do know the one you're talking about and I do think it was... Stupid cocksucker, I'm going to show you right now. A bit slime-like. Dumbass pussy.

Let's go back to the daydream where we were loving spending time with each other. What's your... What's your favorite thing about? Favorite and least favorite thing? About him? About Ludwig. Favorite thing about Ludwig? Favorite thing and least favorite thing about Ludwig.

Least favorite thing about Ludwig. I don't know, man. I feel like have we not exhausted this on this show? Let me think. Have we ever directly said, answer this question? Yeah, we went around and did our favorite thing about each other for sure. Let me think, let me see, did you find it?

This was when he made that post. It was about a week ago when he was talking about in college I became obsessed with Smash. I wanted to go to tournaments and stuff. And my girlfriend at the time thought it was lame as hell and we broke up. This is all actually true. Yeah.

And then someone replied to him and said, just because QD supports you doesn't make you not a loser which is crazy because it just misunderstands it is someone being mean and then Lutterwick replies making my life choices on what you consider

cool would make me a loser but luckily this would be the last time we interact until we both die oh oh I guess I'm fucking crazy there is a look there's a caveat here there's a caveat here QD mentioned

oh he does get this this is very it's admirable about Ludwig yeah if If Cudy mentioned, Ludwig turns into the beast. Yeah. The slime within, if you will. He doesn't end the message with the God bless you and your family. Yeah.

He loves throwing God bless you and your family. Yeah. They'll call him like actual real slurs. And he'll say, yeah, I don't know. I think that's really mean. God bless you and your family. No, I mean, I get it obviously. No, you're right.

It is funny. Sometimes. That's a slime repubal. You're right. I've been better. I think there is sometimes people piss me off and then I'll be mean to them, but then I'll, I'll take a minute and I'll reply again and I'll explain why I'm mad. And it usually, in a way, I think makes me sound a little more reasonable than just you only get this window of a guy who's like, oh, he must always be mad. He's like, well, no, here's my thought process. And we know from Aiden 5% of the time,

you've, you've, I'm another six months into my offer, by the way, of if someone tilts me super hard, I say, record what you said, send it to you. me and I will reply to it on the show that you're commenting on. That's so fucking beast, bro. And I'll do it. Please send me, do, contact me, take the time. We'll give you everything you could ever dream of. Attention, a platform.

We won't even show your video to people. Just for us. We'll just watch it. And then, and then I'll respond. No one. I've had three false flags. I've had people say yes. Okay, I will then, pussy.

And then not send it. Cowards. Cows. To this day, I've been, I think I'm a year and a half into this approach to talking to people who just drive me insane. And I've been like, it's okay. Just, I'll just do this for me. And I'll respond to it for you. And no one will do it.

And I, it's like, I feel like I'm giving every opportunity possible. I basically never reply to anything, but there There was a couple people who have said things to me in DMs They're mean or whatever And I'm in a particular mood that day And I'll just all reply is, why do you think that? And they always do the same thing, which is, we all know this. Didn't think you'd reply.

Didn't think you to see this or like, oh, I was drunk or oh, blah, blah, blah, right? I've had so many of those interactions where I say, Why do you think this? They throw up on themselves. And then I just don't reply. that I've started replying why do you think this to people and then instantly muting

and deleting the conversation and never knowing what they reply because I'm so confident I already know what it is I just want them to have to explain it to a ghost who's not listening? You want them to say the words make them real out of spool

from their mouth yeah but I won't know I don't ever need to know I don't need the validation or anything I just say why do you think this click out and I never see it again I did have this so with with Twitter

they changed the way they used to give you like a little notification in your inbox for message requests and for some reason they don't do that anymore at least on the desktop version and because they did that I realized I just stopped checking

my message requests for months and I've been porn anyway these days I've let like piles of them unread accumulate for the first time since starting this show and it's kind of nice in a way because it's like oh I'm free of the the loose mental, like, burden, quote, unquote,

of having to read them. But then I scrolled through a bunch to just see who was in there, realizing that I have this little treasure trove. I've left, I had left a Luke from Linus Tech Tips, like the Wancho, I unresponded to for like three months. And I felt really bad.

He can't do that, too. He messaged me after we, like, had met at OpenSoss last year, like a few months after OpenSoss and had like sent this really, really nice message about staying in contact. Just ghosted. Oh my God, just ghosted. Wow. Let's fucking go.

I felt so bad. I responded to him finally. We'll end on this, but so message requests these days because Twitter is such a shithole is just porn bots, and they truly go forever. And so they get really interesting and creative in a lot of ways. Some of them are hilarious, but

they're, because they'll try different things. I obviously don't respond to them, and they'll try it, like throw everything they can at me. So this one, is a woman wearing a hijab, headscarf weaving a shell of virtue around the creature under. Appearing teasingly, appendages still damp with enigma, purple, smiley, devil face.

Our change instant, evolution, private, gorgeous, vulnerable. Prepare to watch me unfold my petals completely. Tap the link above. Unfold. M-dash. The shell opens for you. And then it's a woman in a hijab

and her boobs out. Yeah. Okay. So this is what they're on. right now. Some of them, so they'll do things like this. Hey, not sure if you'd remember me, but I think we talked before. My old account got banned, so can you add me on Instagram?

And then it's a, you know, fake. A little more believable. This one, wait, do people actually meet like this? Guess we'll find out, L.O.L. No link at all. They just want you to respond. This one, oh, they're actually cleaning them up. Some of the old ones get deleted

pretty quick. I have zero. PornBots. I think you have to turn on unfiltered message, Oh yeah. It's like people who just make their account on Twitter or porn bots. Even in your message requests, there's another additional like spam folder where, and I opened that one one time and it's all this and like crypto coins. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Dude, there was one that was so creative and funny. Like the LLM that- Play hentai banana on the Netflix. The LLM that made it was just on fire that day. We'll end on this one. And to you, viewers, um, Tune into the Patreon where you can gaze up at my bursting cleavage. They're begging to be played with, worshipped, fucked.

Smiling purple devil emoji. Stop staring, M-Dash. Hit the link above and join me where I get fully exposed and dirty cherry emoji. Wow. And fuck them. And thank you for listening to The Yard podcast. We will see you. Well, next week we have a normal kind of episode.

with Ludwig and then we'll be in China. Okay, bye. Getting Chinese.