The Yard - Ep. 247 - He Broke it AGAIN..

Episode Date: April 22, 2026

This week, the boys talk about going to the Dodgers game without Nick, Aiden creating trouble ahead of the CS tournament, and how Nick finally broke his chair.. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

No, we're not recycling this. Start with a song. I feel your song should have more black keys in it. Oh. You keep making this joke. You love stealing my joke. And because he had that. What about?

Ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, bow, bow, bow, bow, bow, bow, bow. It's like a chief key for a bitch. Fuck you think, bro. I'll lock anywhere. Yeah. Fuck you think. Go back to America. My shoes from Shanghai.

Watch out. His bullets sound crazy. My shoes is a Shwiga. Fuck you. Every bullet has Shwiga or Maine you. My shooter is Cantomise. Kanto Mise. I really had to cram that in there.

Cantomese were out to cram that. That's the luggage, shirts and jeans popping out. Yeah. I like the hat though. the hat though the hat feels powerful you know it's good we sold it you sold this yes that's not nothing wrong with that you're sending that exact one that exact one how much you sell it for it was raffled off it raised wait like we maybe oh you sold this one 1500 to 2000 i thought you meant like this exact model of how you're making is that's one right there wow so if i rub it on my nuts

whoever wears it has to wear my nuts now all right if you if you put it upside down it's like a exact one. It's that exact one. So if I like, oh. And just to be clear, let's poop it in the hat. It was, it was, it was won by, I got nothing. It was won by a, from Raffle, from someone who probably hates it. It's actually, he was, dude, earlier, he was saying, it's, it's the chair, it's not me, it's the chair, chair, it's the chair, chair's old. You deserve that. That's so funny.

Oh my God. What are you going to do the rest of the episode? You fucking What are you gonna do? You're a fucking joke Archie had a gun in my hand Boo Boo Boo Bo Bo Bo Bo Bo Bo Bo Bo Bo Bo Bo Bo Bo Bo Bo Bo Bo Bo Bo

Oh Oh he looks like he got An extra chairman I'm gonna crawl Wow This is embarrassing Don't crawl with your gun Dude

You don't crawl with your gun Like a little He looks like it got put through it Yeah For those It looks like WrestleMania through it It really broke off

If you're listening at home, Nick's chair has just broken underneath him. This must- It is in maybe four pieces. I'm actually surprised. I don't know if we get fixed it this time I actually- Well, we need to reinforce it. I think we've done these like shitty weld jobs. We need to like titanium braces. I can get Michael in here. He'll fix it bro. Michael would make it so that it cut Nick's balls off, which would be a good thing. This must not be weird for you, right, Aiden? Probably happens every week on lemonade sand.

Dude, they have like a, like 60 chairs just waiting. Perry's just back there with two chairs. And he just hears the noise. He goes, coming. Dude, never mind. Do you guys remember the story about this? It feels wrong. The story about the smasher that this happened to.

Who broke a chair? Yeah, I'll say it. It's an unnamed smash player. Say it for me. Unnamed melee player. Say it for me. I think. So back in the day, back in the day, it was a SoCal local.

and a smash player sits down on this chair. He's a very heavy set, man. And it just shatters underneath them. Tough. Happens. Shatters like dropping a jade pendant. Happens, bro. Yeah.

It happens. So Dave Kira Kim, he goes, no big deal, bro. Let me get you another chair. Brings him the next cherry sits down. Shatters it. I do know this story. In a row.

Dude. Oh, this is that Coliseum. It wasn't there in Coliseum's old school. school shit. The old school shit. Just having like five almost broken chairs so that when one breaks, zipper goes here and they keep breaking. Yeah, this is what's happening to Aetrioc

on the lemonade zone. On lemonade stand, it is this except it's a Herman Miller every time. Oh, $1,500 down the drain. We bring out a new $1,500, Herman Miller. It's not $1,500 because they're going to struggling businesses. And they're haggling them. I broke a third chair. Oh my God, bro. Get over. You're fat.

You're fat. You're a fucking whale. You're huge. You're a whale. You're chocolate all day. We see you eat chocolate for breakfast. Did you eat chocolate all day? Breakfast, yeah. You're back on shiggies. Breakfast. You were a no shiggy gal and then I came with a cookie and you got sick from Chippole last week. You sucked that cookie up like a like one bite like a vacuum for brave little to toast. It's embarrassing. Is this? Aiden's off not on my side? It would happen to him. It is embarrassing. Take to blake it off. You've turned to the dark side on me. That's so funny. You're already off. I took a picture of it and then uploaded what happened to this. There was four different fail. your points. Imagine if Beatles came out of it.

Cool. It is a... I'm gonna go get it welded again. Do you like that chair? I love it. That chair's ass. It's so... No, since we welded it

the first time, it got so uncomfortable because what they did was the plastic thing, the back ones are tight because that's where they fixed it. And the front ones had the give that the chair

supposed to have. So it's like two levels of sitting now. I've just dealt with it. I like the chairs a much. You love this chair. You love that. You have the best chair.

Yeah. Oh, really? Really? Really? For me, I like your chair the most. Really? You have the most comfy chair. But a rocking, I'd never seen one of those vintage until I saw his.

It's very nice. I won't lie. It's very cool. I straight up have the best chair. And it all happened, dead ass. We walked, we climbed up to the set that first day, a fateful day in June or whatever. 2021. It said first episode of Yard podcast.

And Nick looked him, he's like, that seats for you. Yeah, I knew it. I knew it. I saw it. And I said, that's the slime seat. And the thing is, I would have taken it no matter what anybody said. It's funny that he did a nice thing and you're not giving him the nice thing. It's funny that you brought me a cookie to use it against me five minutes later.

But you gobbled it out. It was like one bite at a time. It probably took six. One bite at a time and it was one bite. One bite a time. You ate it. You started sobbing. It was crazy.

You're so overwhelmed. I can't stop. You broke your chair. It's a fucking addicted. Since when you've been back on Shuggy? I just ate a cookie. What is the evidence? I heard you eat chocolate today.

Is that all right? He's just saying that for breakfast. No, you ate chocolate for breakfast. He just said that. I think I... Oh, what I can say things. It doesn't matter anymore. And you gobble up that cookie.

You're going to look us in the eye and tell us you got back on Shuggie. I didn't eat for the first time until like 5 p.mushka. Babushka in the eye and so you're not eating a little sugar here in there now? Where's my God? Ziverr, can you look up chalk? Don't point that at your grandmother. I'm sorry. Can you look up chocolate cock?

I want to see if it's like an Easter, you know, like the Easter chocolate. Do they have chocolate cock? No. Noddy gag gift, but it's chocolate. It's called dick at your door. The real dicksbymail.com. Not to be confused with dixby mail.com. This ain't no middle of them all, dicks.com.

That's a great. Yeah, yeah, yeah, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click. Oh, this is so millennial. Wait, wait, wait. This is like what Katie Perry would fucking sell. Yeah, it is exactly. 20 bucks is a steal for that. It's been made already.

Is it? What is that part? What is that? Orange Man. Sorry, and what you, universe you think $20 is a steal? $20 for a chocolate, for a big,

for a covemy chocolate with cock in the box that I, that I lick. The box looks like it's made. That I slowly eat. And in our factory, we have man-made veins. The box has pubs. Wow, that's strong.

I'm not fucking with you. On Deerid, that's about the size and shape of my meat. That's like straight up, just a one-dollar one. And you got little chocolate spooks. I just lost my appetite. I think he took my meat

somehow. Maybe it was when I was in the hospital, I took a moment. of it. If you look too long at her photo, it takes your, it takes all of your measurements in your soul and it turned into the chocolate. You're getting knocked out at the hospital and them taking a mold like your kidney getting stolen? Boxed, wait, what is this site? Just gagged candy? Yes, gagged penis and cock candy. Dude, did this girl, you know she was telling all her friends, look what gig I had, look a gig I had this week. It's going up on the site. Look at this gig.

Oh, this is Bachelorette vibes. Oh, yeah. And then they're all, you know how they're eating the penis. I earned I went on fear and has a girl on it. Okay. Did they let her talk this time? Barely. Barely. It's crazy. Yeah.

She tries. God, honest, she tries hard as she can. You're trying to start talking on the show and you're like, no! No! No! No! No! Stop! No. How was it over there? I taught him out a podcast a little bit, you know?

I did some roleplay. I came, I was driving there and I'm like, you know what? Let me come with something. So I created a situation where a song was caught scissering and gorilla at the the zoo. And I was like, let's all role play. And I'm like, you guys should just do this all the time. Judy's funny. She, Judy will do this thing where she will, she does this outside of podcast, but she'll come to you and be like, oh my God, last night. Oh my God, I was so scared. I just slammed my head in with cement wall. Oh my God. It was so terrible. What do you want to order by the

way? And you're like, what do you want me to say to that? What do you want me to say? Chipotle. Yeah. And you know what Ludd will do back? DiPoli sounds fine. I'm so confused every time. It's what I have to be.

She throws those curveballs at me and every time I have a good eye. I don't swing. Good eye. Yeah. I have a good eye. I take it. I take it.

And I'm like, because I know that's going outside. I got to walk every time. I got mad at her this weekend. What do you happen? I don't usually get mad. I wasn't actually mad at her. I was like, because there was like,

Like Swift's like, he's on the IR a bit right now. Yeah. He's in trouble. One of his paws and workers go to the others. So the doc's like, he can't walk like a lot in a day. He should be still. But Qudy's very busy shit, Master Baker. So I'm watching him all weekend.

Oh yeah. He's howling. He's bringing me to my tattered edge. I literally had the thought eight times. I get why they shake babies. I get why they shake babies. I get why they shake babies. Like I totally get it.

Sure. And then and then I was like, okay, job's done, I did it. And then I'm like, when you're coming back, she's like, ooh, I forgot to tell you, I have fear and I'm like, that's fine. One more day in paradise. That's no worries. You do one more day. You're the husband.

I'll do it. I'll do a few more hours. And then the next day rolls around. And I'm like, I'm like, okay, oh, just when you come back? She's like, oh, I got whine about it tonight. I'm like, two nights in a row. That's. She's straight up on some eye heart.

radio shit, bro. She got a network. And then we're in bed last night. And she's like, oh, by the way, I fear an tomorrow morning. I'm like, how is this happened three days in a row? How has this happened? No, I checked. We don't have school tomorrow. And the only reason

I'm mad is because I think the howling got to me and I blew like four beautiful Slay of the Spy Runs in a row to the Howling. Blame the dog, bro. No, I believe you. I'm genuinely like, I'm genuinely just fucking clicking a move. because I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, my brain is too, it's, it's combusted.

Oh, bitch. He's hitting the brown note of my thoughts. Is there like a lozenge you can give him? Maybe you give a, dude, okay, dog. I gave him a full Zinn, nothing. I have an idea. We get like a cut-out and we like douse it in her perfume. And we just like put it in the corner of the house and he can go worship it.

See, this is, this is part of what's tilting me is that I had to stream. So I'm streaming. It's supposed to howling. And people are coming to my chat. with literally that suggestion. It's a good idea. It's not, bro. Have you tried it?

I've tried giving her things that, or giving him things that smell like her. So you tried doing something that's not the idea. The mediation is blind that might work. It's like, he is blind. He's a little, no, he's deaf, he's not blind.

He's deaf. He's not blind. He's both. He's not dead. He's not blind. He's not blind. His eyes don't look like white gumballs yet. They're close.

Oh. They're close, bro. Through my buddy, before, before my dog passed away, my buddy's just kind of my house and they'd pet my dog and they'd look at me and go, those eyes are gray, man.

I always like stop saying that. This is gonna hurt a lot what it happens to stop. And they would be like, oh wow, she's getting old. It's funny though, because Swift,

even though he doesn't, he likes me second most on earth, he fucking hates me. He only will shit when I'm taking care of him. So I'll become the poop whisperer and whenever,

oh, even outside. Yeah, yeah. If it's been like two days and he hasn't shit, he's like, ah, can you take him? You don't poop for her? He don't poop for her.

Well, yeah, he doesn't want to do it in front of girls. He doesn't want to make his stinger out. He doesn't want to make his stinger out. I don't poop. But for me, I go, show me. Show me what that bud do.

Poop for Papa. And he drops, he drops some of stinkers. What if we dress... What comes out of his body is disgusting. Hear me out. We dress up Aiden like cutie. Yep. We got to sell it.

You guys have raw sex. Right. In the living room. Okay. Swift has to watch. Loud. Loud is fun too. Swift, not while I'm on top. Well, we have to get, we have to get information.

We have to ask for character studies. So, my doing it right? First, I have to recreate bar for bar how we have sex. Yes. Then I do it with Aiden, but he has a wig and her perfume on. Yes. And then I leave Aiden. Are we on the cloud couch?

Aiden needs to spend a day as cutie before. I need to get a new character. And his cutie where he says nothing. It'll be just like doing the order. And then I finish on your tongue. I throw a towel at you and I go, spend the night. I'm going to sneak out. And we see if that works.

And Aiden can take over for me. Okay. Okay. And then Swift? No more howling. I feel like this, it leaves me potentially mistreated. Let me tell you right now, you're actually safe. I tried it with Christian.

It didn't work. Yeah. Christian's a good-ass friend for doing that. He's a homie, bro. Christian's a good-ass friend for letting you ball him like that. We already doing it. And he's like, what if we put on the wig and perfume? I was like, fuck.

Christian's funny too. Because like, you'd be fucking him in the ass. He'd be like, yeah. he's like, yeah, I guess I'll put on the way. Yeah, I guess I'm getting fucked in the ass today. He's a big chill. Yeah, love fucking me in the ass today. Christian, you know, that's whatever.

You would say some mean shit, like, I told him to go deeper. He had nothing. Yeah, that's what he was. He said, he said, Christian, how was it fucking love with him? He'd be like, all right. I don't know if I felt it. I said deeper. He didn't have any more dick.

Oh, man, I love that guy. I actually, I was working out earlier today because we're doing this late. And I had the 50s, and I threw him away. because you do your last rep, you fucking throw them away. And I was like, I'll just leave that because fuck this place, right?

But then I was like, Christian uses the gym. I respect Christian. Yeah, and he's our top shotta. And he's our top shotta, so I had to put it away. I'm the top shotta. No, Christian's our top shotta.

I'm the top shotta. I'm the top shot. Okay, I'm not going to lie these days, a burglar comes into the warehouse and I'm shrieking and hiding behind someone. I think I think I'm being Christian,

I think I'm being Christian, bro. Probably Christian. He's big. It's one of the downfalls of losing weight is I've lost the fucking strong the strong vibes. He also, he gets strong so fast.

You've always been strong. At one point he was weak. It's impressive what his transformation was, but when we met you, you were already kind of exactly the same as what you are now. You were already the jockey. And now you're a figment of what you were in the past. I'm bulking, so I'm getting back there. I'm back to benching. You want to eat a chocolate later?

I... Just massaging your gun. You want to chocolate, fucking... You want a chocolate litter? So yes, dry firing and... You're your, can I fire you're in your dick? What are you chocolate with you? What are you chocolate?

Let me later? Yes, yes. I was like Christian and Michael they were talking because Michael's other warehouse. And they're both, they both have been skinny boys their whole life, but they're both bulking. Yeah. Michael's bulking. Michael's bulking.

Michael keeps saying, I'm going to hit 190 before you. Well, Michael was pretty fit during the boxing arc. But he's trying to gain what he wants to hit 190 is what he says. Michael is not going to hit one 90. He's not going to beat one. Why does he want to hit 190? I don't know what's the number he says. He looks like Marry.

in Super Mario when he eats the pee and he goes, you can fly around. It looks like Tom Kench if he was with a night like 90. It's just he's not tall enough. He wants to hit. But they're talking about, you know, the skinny boy like dream of getting big.

Gennie Boy click. Because they both can't eat a lot. Reverse twink death. And they both realize they had the same secret strat. And so my goes, you want to hear my strat? And they're talking about it. He's like,

so you know like on the back of a protein powder, it says the calories. And then Christian gets her before. Muggen can even finish. He's like, yeah, you put two scoops. But Michael's like, yes. Socrates and Aristotle. Their whole strategy is putting two scoops of protein powder in your smoothie. Can't you just milkshake it, like the movies? Like when like, you know, when like Mac from Sunny gets really big, he's like, yeah, I did

the ice cream. I got big. Yeah, yeah, this is that. It's not like a secret. They just came to the conclusion. I was saying, if I was really trying to fucking get crazy, I'm not going to be like, I should get more protein powder. I would just eat bullshit. Poutine powder gives you the illusion that you're doing something good to your body. It's better macros because you want, like, they're trying to hit a gram of protein per body weight. Or on Christian's case, more than. He wants more than body weight.

He's like 1.1 to 1.2x grams of protein per. And Christian's also funny guy because he's very set in his ways, but I'll tell him something. He'll reject it. And the next day he'll be like, ah. So his first thing, he was like, yeah, I eat a pint of ice cream every night. And I was like, there's some drawbacks to that.

Sorry. Right, sorry. So Christians like this. Can you just say that Christian? This is the thing that Christian does? So you give Christian advice. he goes, no, I don't want to do that. And then very shortly after comes to the same conclusion. A day later, he'll be like, you know what? Yeah, I looked up ice cream. It turns out a pint

day's bad for it. I wonder where he, you guys are living in the same neighborhood? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a Christian thing. It's a Christian thing. Straight up. I didn't think I don't think Christian could read before he got here. I think he learned in Los Angeles, California. I love the guy. I'm just being feel. He was better at school than I was. I, okay. He got into UNH. I didn't. UNH? University of New Hampshire. And then ASU had. to fucking scrape you up off the floor. Uh, yeah. I thought it was Harvard to the Southwest.

You know who went there? Who's that? Uh, my boy Johnny. Who's that? Somali. Who's that? Somali. Johnny Somali went to ASU.

Graduated at the higher GPA then. And now he's in a labor camp. Yeah. Now he's holding a plank over his head for six hours. He's getting strong and he's smart. Wow. I'm jealous. He graduated magna cum laude.

You're fucking with me. How loud he does it? That guy's a fucking criminal. Finance, doctor disrespect went to my college. Really? You went to Pomona? Yeah, you've said this before. Capo Mauna. Go Broncos. Go doc.

Go doc. Go Johnny Somali. And all women should what? It is good to be back. It's good to be back on the yard. It is fucking... What are you guys been fucking up to? What's the shining light in your life right now? Shut up. How about you tell us why you were gone?

Chipotle. Describe it. It was... Describe it like crazy. I would get woken up at the... about 6 a.m. It's like, it's like dawn is just, the sun has just come out and I'm like, oh, it's like a sharp pain in my stomach.

And I know the pain of having to poop. Like I've had the pain before like when it builds up after a while. And I hadn't gone in a while. But it was like really, really, really, really tight and bad. And so I go and I sit on the toilet and nothing's coming out. And I'm just sitting there and I'm straining.

And then it's, sorry, DMI. It's a little gross. But a solid chunk comes out. And then everything else on top. of it is liquid. Don't you?

It's like a Chinese building. Don't you feel like that's how it works? Why is it like a, hold on. Explain you. Because they built the first three floors and they just stopped. So it's all scaffolding. Yeah.

It was all bamboo after the first solid part. Well, that's. You got it. You think they use your air at your limit, bro. Yeah. And also, also a panda and a hard hat made it.

Give me the hat. Give me the hat. You lose the hat for that one. I got you, everyone in China. But yeah, it was just excruciating. It was only a day though. The next day I was totally fine. You think it's Chappote? It was Chappelle. It's not like they have a crazy history of that

Did you get the steak? Did you get the steak real? I got double steak it's always the steak it's always the steak? The first time I heard about food poisoning in general was this grilled separate from taco about with steak? It's supposed to pause It was there lettuce not also a culprit of E. coli? Oh my God, shut the fuck. The steak is the steak is it's crazy to lose the lettuce though is they'll get crazy and it goes in your body and it creates a cork in your ass that liquid liquid floods behind. And it must release. It must go somewhere. And it's tough to pop the cork. And then you hit the, you hit the fucking,

the ecstasy of the bidet. Yeah. Oh my God. Just the ecstasy of a level five spray after you've gone to war. It's like I can't even, I couldn't even imagine going back. Zippur, I sent you a link to a,

a restaurant. And I'd like you to open the link to that restaurant. I went to this place with Zeke the other night. and it was it's funny because I can't believe that they went with this logo this place called heavy-handed can you control zoom in on that logo

wow yeah I get it I don't scroll down in it what just find the logo that's crazy I wouldn't let you do it maybe oh there it is what do you think of that hmm

I'll give you a hint maybe two Tori Gates to authentically Japanese Tori Gates like the number is 8 and 8 next to each other mean like a similar thing. Yeah, no, I'm seeing it. I'm seeing it. Oh, so everything has to do with Hitler now.

Everything. Can we not have a It's on their shirts? Yeah. It's on outside. A night out with the boys. Some H.H. It's like, it's like in and out except under the cup. It's not John 316. It's just 1-488. You're like, whoa.

It's just literally a cup expert. It's actual German Goebbels quotes. Interesting. Was it good? It was great. I mean, you know. A lot of German beer here. I couldn't believe it. We were just sitting there and that logo is gigantic just painted on the wall without the name of the place

is heavy handed. And it just says H.H. And I'm like, damn, they gotta chase that shit. Claude is like kicking these places out like in L.A. Like these places, there's so many places like this in L.A. Like smash burger with the fucking the fucking fries that look like that

and the fucking ice cream they sell. There are too many smash burger places. And they also fucking ice cream. What's up with the burger milkshake thing? I think it's like a fat boy thing. It's an American diner experience. What do you tell? None of them do like the diner vibe.

None of them are doing the diner vibe. They're following the diner menu. Yeah, I think that's part of being the diner, right, is you serve the food that's there. Milkshad Johnny Rockets type of shit. If you're going for a smash burger, you're in your fat boy moment and you'll,

you'll splurge. No. They got the, they had the ice cream where it's like, it's got a hard shell on the outside. Yummy. Everything there was like, damn.

Again, H.H knows how to whip it up. Yeah. A salute to H.H. For the excellent. For the excellent food, bro. Your heart goes out to him. Yeah. More than my heart.

My wallet does. No, yeah. It was crazy. I had this idea. I talked about this on the podcast where I showed them how to podcast and I was doing combos. But what if we get together as a friend group and start RPGing Waymos

across the nation Oh, I I heard role playing game You're saying We roll play on trip No no no we We literally were We're a demolition squad

Yeah we start blowing up Waymos Imagine Aiden shoot it He's got the helmet on I loaded in the back I tap him on the head And we're like Four football fields away Like there's a kind of a moment

You wait before it hits Because you know what Babushka's a good shot Oh yeah Waymos, like, this is like such a California thing. We can stop them from spreading, is what I'm saying. Yeah, yeah, we can cut the virus of the source. Dude, I was, I heard about when it was the ice protests a couple months ago,

people were setting them on fire, but it was funny because they were ordering the Waymos to where they, to be sacrificed. To their death. And the waymos would just arrive, like cattle to be like sacrificed. Like when they would draw, they brought his son to the mountain. They drew giant pentagrams around the Waymos and they made it park right in the pentagram. And then... Dude, dude, they're just bloodstains on the crowd.

It looks like what your hand looks like when you've just slapped a mosquito. Yeah. Like, there's nothing left. Oh my God. Fire is awesome. We don't need protests to do this. We can just do it on our own volition. Dude, we should have, you know that day that everyone tried to storm Area 51?

There was like a Facebook group. We should call all the Waymos there one. day. Just like $4,000 rides. Well, no, Zizek was telling me, because he didn't want to tell me about this because I pitched it to him too. I'm really trying to make this happen, and he said, I can't order Waymo's in my area

because of this. They stopped doing it. What? And I'm like, that's hilarious. You gotta break a few eggs. You know what I mean? You gotta break some damn eggs. But I think it's an idea. I want to light a car. I want to let a car on fire a place I shouldn't. Once. Once? Once? Yeah. Just your one time. I didn't light any car.

There was no cars. Well, you were growing up. Involved in that alleged incident that involved me. Where are you finally going to face justice? Do you think you face justice already in your life? What's the statute of limitations? I face it in my life for that? Do you think you think you have suffered enough to pay for what you did allegedly?

Which we don't know. What the fuck is. Yeah. Yeah, I suffered. All right. He doesn't. He hasn't. Yeah, I fucking did. Can you have some she?

That's a fucking love to get you. I say no. You take the same. If you say no, I'll be like, ah, nice. No, I need to suffer more. Yeah. Give me the hat.

When we wear the hat while I say. No, I don't think that. Bukui, Bukui. You don't know if. Are you done being Chinese, by the way? Dude, I just finished rewatching tip to tip. I'm back. I watched because the final three days,

I'm so good at Chinese. You're not. You're actually like, no. Famously bad at Chinese. I'm so. Good. What are some, like, highlight moments that you remember?

The last three days, it was like, it was like a dude being like, he was like, yeah, so, fuck, you want to go to Aaron High. You got to take a left. There's a split. Fork in the road. Highway, take a right. And then I leave and I repeat everything he says in English. I'm like, how did I do that?

Whoa. I'm fucking good at this shit. Because there's subtitles. And I was reading them. One second. Can you repeat that last part? Yeah, I realize I'm just good at it. But, right.

But now. When you met us and got on the boat with us in Beijing, was it gone? It might be time to hang it up, man. Thank you. Jesus Christ, bro. Find a different fixation and then we'll have to deal with that. I'm wearing it. We went to it. Oh, you're back?

It's Dodger season, bro. I had a wonderful time. It was great, no. I had a wonderful time at the baseball. Yeah, we guys have a hot dog. Huh? You guys have a hot dog? Oh, a few actually.

Several hot dog. What are you asking for? You weren't there. You're real close to the field. Yeah. We were super close to the field. It was just a couple boys. eating meat on a Monday night at the game.

Let me ask you something, Ludwig, have you heckled an outfielder like that, or were you playing it up for the camera? I've usually only yelled positive things to, like I've heckled like Andy Paw has, because he throws back the foul balls. So every time I go, Handy, handy, handy!

Yeah, no. I'm terminal! What love it is? I'm terminal, I know I look healthy, but it's bad, it's pancreatic. Well, Ludwig would, it was Tommy Pham. I think his name was. Tommy Pham, 308.

And he looked up how old he was like, back you up Tommy's Joe Hey, bro. Back you up. And then he was like, he was like, you look good for 38, bro. And it was just crazy. And I'm like, these guys, it was all the time. This is my dream to heckle a bunch of baseball. Yeah, it was great.

They're really close. Because not in the video that we showed was when Tommy Pham turns around to the outfield and makes eye contact with the people yelling at him. And I couldn't bear it. And I'm going, Tommy, don't. listen to him. I love the chain. I love the Cuban, Tommy. It is cool to be an outfielder because like, let's say you make this crazy daring catch. You just get to look at them all. You just get to

look everyone in the eye and be like, oh yeah. They definitely do that shit too. Also, I think he was about to throw it to where we were standing, one of like the pop flies or whatever, but then he looked at us and just tossed it elsewhere. He punished the- section. Yeah. Wow. You think I want a ball from Tommy? No, but little kids might. I just And they have to suffer the AOE of you. Dude, people were laughing. Let him was like entertaining the section. That's so cool.

We went on this like long-winded joke about how you hit on your dad while you play catch with him as a kid. And he's making the two guys to the left of us like crack. They were loving it. I don't remember that. We were hilarious. Collectively we're hilarious. And I was like maybe you're for everybody, man. Because these are two 40-year-olds guys.

Burt peanut friends. Straight up. Just sitting there and enjoying their fucking baseball game. And I'm converting them. I'm converting them while they sit there with their wives and their wives' boyfriends. They all enjoy the game together. And I'm saying, switch over to me, y'all. The thing about burnt peanut is you can watch it with your wife's boyfriend and it is fucking lit.

Dude, can I actually just fucking say his streams are actually fucking W? Of course they're W. Why do you think millions of people watch them every day? Yeah. because they're fucking awesome in W and fuck myth, bro. Fuck myth, bro. Why you, because he's fucking up his server.

Because they got beef and we had to fucking low-key, I had to fucking kick myth from the fucking server. And you know and myth said he fucking flipped me off on camera, bro. Myth wouldn't do that. Myth said, banned me and I said, he should be banned, bro, the way you're acting

like a kid. Yeah, and I'm a fucking penis. And I'm a peanut wearing a fucking police outfit on stream because someone donated for it. Do you know about what the fuck's his name? Do you know about the sheriff? Yeah, like the,

fake burnt peanut? Yes. Yeah. You about this guy? Isn't that one of the Mega 64 guys? No. Oh. There's this guy that's doing it. I think has like tried to be a creator in different ways. The faithful sheriff, the sheriff. Yeah, he's like a, I think he's.

He's just a peanut like copycat. He's just a one to one knockoff. AI thumbnails are pretty awesome. Of the burnt peanut. Why am I a peanut? Wait, I want to see what he sounds like. A genuine one to one. I want to hear him.

And like, like, so much so that, you know, They both started on whatever that game was. Arc Raiders, and then Peanut switches to Rust, and this guy opens a Rust server the next day. He's wearing the same bandana as Android, I think 16 from DBZ. I like how his V-Tuber. Oh, and all his assets are AI. And he has a Bible-strapped to him.

I like how it's holstered like a gun. Yeah. That's really cool to take someone. Let's give me a few seconds of his voice. One of people across social media have been wondering, Why are you a peanut? Why are you copying the burnt now that's a pause.

I'd rather remain a mystery. He's got the, he's got the same facial structure as one of the red letter media guys. I think Jay from red letter media. You're basically that off his peanut v. You're basically off that. I'm talking about the lips in the eyes. They hired peanuts at red letter

media. I like the who is the antichrist pop-up. That's a good. Yeah, that's an exclamation point, antichrist. I need to add that one of my shit. Tim Park, dude. What's wrong? What? meeting to go to

You have to do this. I haven't eaten anything I don't eat anything? It's okay, it's okay It can't wait five minutes Put them down Put them down How do you have four phones

Okay, okay Okay So you can't eat Can you turn the alarm off Can you turn it off at least? To call. That one was Barack Really?

Really? Not Obama. Just doesn't seem name. If you're going into a meeting with Barack and you haven't eaten, you need to figure something out. Luckily, I have this big black edition bag right in my lap.

What is it? This is Hewell, Ludwig. It's Hewled. What is that? It's ready to drink meal for when you're sprinting through the day. Give it to me. It's when you want to control

the texture ingredients when you're home. Look, it's got protein, it's got all the nutrients you need, flexible flavors. You can add fruit, nut butter, ice if you want it cold. You can do whatever you want. I can't drink this and then eat food later. I need a complete meal.

You literally- It is a complete meal. You just drank the complete meal. That's it. But yes, but it's liquid. How do you feel right now? Filled. Right? To the brim. Do you feel the protein running for your body? 27 essential vitamins and minerals loving. Losing through me. And no artificial sweeteners either and it's gluten-free which I know you care about. Wasn't that quick? Wasn't that quick? You don't have to be stressed about your meanings now you just go! You just take that long. You know what you did? You grabbed it and you goed. It's grab and go. It's a complete meal. You can literally grab and go. I want you to just. I want you just.

call Barack right now. Tell him you're going to be in that meeting. Right now. I want to hear his voice. I'm probably going to watch TikToks and blow them off. I have some extra time. Hey, well, at least you'll do it with a full stomach and a chock full of nutrients. Love it. And if you guys out there want to be chock full of nutrients, you can go get this limited time offer. Get Heel today with an exclusive offer of 15% off with code yard 15 at Hew.com slash yard 15. New customers only. That's for new customers only. Thank you to Heel for partnering and supporting our show. Let's get back to the podcast. I've saved so much time.

We're going to have to do something about it. I saved so much time. Dude, I thought he was going to call the meetings and stuff. I've saved so much time. Go to the meeting. I don't need to. I've saved so much time. Let's go back to the yard.

I think this should go the other way where instead of V-tuber models like baseline being anime, they should all be peanuts. You look like a rochi-maru. I know. Right now. Yeah. Dude. You think I don't know that?

And you think I wasn't purged by the fucking hidden leaf? You look up a roachymaru. Mara Rice Hat? You know what I would watch a shit ton of it? If you streamed Counterstrike as like a V-tuber baby And you'd have you'd have like meltdowns, but you'd be a baby in a diaper Like your V-tuber could be standing on the desk controlling the mouse and a keyboard And you'd get mad and you'd be a baby

No, no, you'd be you. You'd talk exactly like here. Yeah, yeah. You'd like, god damn it, dude. I didn't think he would flank like that. But you're a baby? I didn't think he would do that. I'd watch.

Wow. Yeah. That's in right now. I know. My bad. That's accurate. I don't say dumb ass shit on this show. And that's on me and I hold this out.

You think I'm not trying to do a little Narto thing? That's a long tongue. Yeah, he got crazy tongue. Yeah, he got crazy tongue game. That's a long, whoa, that's got to be like part of the character. They don't all have tongues that long in that. Roshimaru has the greatest story arc because he's like the main villain.

He's like horrible. He murders a crazy amount of people. He kidnaps children. And then in the sequel series, Borato, he's like the old teacher. Like they brought him back. Yeah, they brought him back. It's like fucking, oh my God, let's go to Epstein's class.

It's like that vibe. He ends up being like kind of a beanlister villain in the OG series, right? Yeah, yeah, but like he still like did horrible, heinous things. Yeah, but like murdering a handful of people. It's like everybody in the fucking world has murdered as many people as a Roteamaro by the end. He's a child. Like he lured a child. He bit a child, sucked his blood.

Yeah. Made him a demon and then lured him away from everything. You're describing President Barack Obama did. Yeah. So what then? And when he's at a basketball game, we stand and clap. And that's a good fucking point. You know what I'm saying?

You want to show you some awesome China shit? All these double standards. Can you look up, Q I-A-O-D-A-N shoes? U-I-A-O. The way you pronounce that in China is Chowdh. Which is the same way you pronounced Jordan. Oh.

It's a knockoff Michael Jordan brand that they made. in China. Yeah, he does look like shittier in the silhouette. And they use the same color palette. It is just a direct knockoff. The first one is a pair of Jordans. It's a guy, it's a guy clearly not jumping as far.

Yeah, right. Smaller hops. And then in Chinese, he's trying. That image, is it literally Michael Jordan? Probably, yeah. Yeah, click on that. Yeah, they probably did it. I mean, that poses maybe somewhat common, but that looks like it's it.

I think what I learned about your escapades and tip to tip Ludwig is that if you're a country, if you're a superpower with one Belgian people, you can just do what you want. It doesn't matter. What the fuck are they going to do in the United States about Chowden? Yeah, bitch, Google don't work here. Nothing. What the hell are you going to do? And I think I didn't recognize the scale of the country, the dynasty of China.

Mm-hmm. Yeah, they got a big-ass scale over there. yeah that was the biggest thing like when I got back and when I got there and I like looked at my phone was basically a brick and I was like oh awesome like they can't use Google he'd love to walk in with fucking these things bro

he'd walk in with these and he'd not say anything but he'd do this yeah and he'd be like can y'all pretend for a second that that's really not Aiden who walks in with his Huawei laptop it's funny it's the same amount of performism yeah he's got the earbuds too oh what the earbuds

you got the Huawei earbuds yeah I support local Chinese business. Can you actually bring them in? When you look at them? I want to see you wear them. Yeah. Come on. You guys are going to get a kick out of this.

Do they look different? They do. They're like noticeable? God, you're so sinister. Please don't fire a... We got to bring... We got to put running like that mainstream. Nards are running?

Yeah. Like that should be in the Olympics. How would you do that? Because people would always want to beat those people up. Like an Olympic category. I can tell you the reason why it's not a thing anymore. Can you look up series graph Borato? It's a really simple fucking answer

I love the type of shit you know. I mean bro. Series graph Borito? Yep. What is Borato? This is the sequel series to Narito and as you can see there's a lot of red. And the end? It's recent, it's still going. That's a terrible run. Yeah. You hate to have 50 episodes of your anime be bad. Yeah. So anyway, this is why it doesn't have the same cultural stay that it used to have.

Are you saying that the current Naruto material isn't very loved? The current Naruto materials basically consumed through cut-up YouTube highlights of the characters you liked from the old series. Dude, look how tall he looks when he does that. You do look taller. You look like slender, man. You look like intimidating, bro. That is crazy. That makes you look way less intimidating.

I don't know. You're just coughing. All right, put the earbuds in and show them. I think they're on right now, bro. They're in right now. Let's check it out. Reveal. Show me,

shut up. Take off the shawl and show me your hallway. I can't take it off when men from other families are around. Yeah, let's go for a different group. Yeah, let's have every group all right.

For audio listeners, he looks insane. He's wearing, yeah, he's wearing like a black blanket over his whole body. Oh my God. Dude, that's the shit Alyssa Lou has on her teeth.

That's great. crazy. Do you look like fake earrings you'd give a child. They look like earrings. That's the thing. They look like fake earrings. You give a shock. That's so unbelievable. And you use them? I've been using them a ton. You look like you listen to corn. You look, you're right. It is more him.

It is so. You also, I think with shoes, particularly, you do this. For me, bro, I actually genuinely don't buy shit. I don't buy a lot of shit. Yes, you do. You cut. You straight up, do buy shit. Let's, let's fucking try to pull one out. The Dodgers hoodie in a larger size that you didn't get. Oh, the Hello Kitty hoodie?

Yes. The Utoes. I did buy that. That you haggled for. I know. We get to the Do you. It's Hello Kitty Night. You shook people down.

It's Hello Kitty and it's the whole reason I wanted to fucking go because you get free Hello Kitty hoodie. It's honestly why I was convinced to go to. I've knocked it over like five times. Because it was Hello Kitty night. Yeah. Because you get a free hoodie. Look at the Dodgers' Helic Kitty.

It's got Hello Kitty and Hello Kitty is a baseball player and it has a little bow on the hood. I mean, that's awesome. And so we get to the stadium in our early. I'm like, fucking, and then we get there, and there's a person yelling like, no more outies, walk on through. But there's one section

where it's like Primo seats and they have fucking boxes. There's literally boxes. They don't know what to do with them. I'm like, can I go through here? And he looks at my ticket, he's like, nope, go through general entrance. And so I go around through the general entrance and then I try to go through the backside. She's like, no, no, no, you can't

do that. And so then I start just flagging down every person who walks through and I'll be like, be real. Do you like how Kitty. Yeah. It was a quiz. Yeah, this has the bow on it. The bow is embroidered. The rest of screen printed. It's honestly a shitty hoodie, but... It is shitty. It's made of such shit quality. That's some red bubble vibes. I spent a hundred dollars cash. Damn. They don't even resell that much. Well, these are knockoffs. I gave it. No, there was an eBay one. You know, it's a knockoff too. It is? Well, unless it's in the package, hold up. Why are you so sure? Because this website is.

Oh, that's $40. Unless it's in the package, I don't buy it. It also doesn't have the I want it. Yeah, this shit's easy. You automate, you ask... The poet's frisic. You ask Claude to make this and he will put all this shit together for you. I remember that she started popping off. There are like 50 rips of the Ludwig Chili Oil shirt going around right now.

That I think is the way that shirt's meant to be purchased. Yeah, that's fair. So the, uh, the shirt we made, we went through a few iterations of it, right? Oh yeah. And there's the, there is the... Can't stack all this up on one episode. We can't stack it all up on one episode.

You can't have the hat. You can't have the fucking black keys gun. I'll get the hat for this. Let me get the hat for this. Please. And I'm just going to shake my head no. Like I disagree with what he's talking about. Archie, can you black bar me out?

I'm not a part of this. This shirt. Okay. What's the brand of chili oil called Laogamma? Logumma. I shouldn't have asked Lozweig. Thank you. The first pass in this shirt, we were like, yeah, we'll put Fat Ludwig

as a parody of the chili oil. I was really against it. Jason, the designer, the designer of the merchandise, who is Chinese, who has his Chinese mother helping with the copy and the designs of the merchandise, comes back with a Ludwig, full-on, Asian-face parody of the merch. It was like that old Twitter guy who would make you blacker Asian.

He's not old, he's still around. The lone predator is well alive. I'm not that tapped in, but it was like that happened to me. but not one half of it. If a couple, if like two or three less people in the office didn't say something, I think that shirt would have went through. And Jason, I don't think so.

Dude, I was there when it was first being discussed. And I was like, it felt like I was one V5. Really? It was crazy. It was the first thing I saw. I was like,

no. I was like, guys, no. I love it. It is awesome. But it will not go over well. It was funny because Jason came back and he's like, he's like,

this is amazing. You guys need to. do this. And you're like, Jason, please put yourself in someone else's shoes for a second. And then we showed it to maybe, I remember, I would show it to people who would come visit the office. This is not the original. You know what I said? I said, I said, the Asians are not going to be the ones who are mad. Yeah, it's going to be the white guys who are mad. That's, that's the ones you need to worry about. The white people get real hot. They come in troughs. Jason, just because you like it doesn't mean we can do it. And then, and then enough people came through, I was like,

have to change it. We just need to make it Fat Ludwig. But then what happened is Jason loved this version so much and he snaps a photo of it on hit and puts it at the end of his slides for the drop on Instagram.

Stupid fucking Jason. And then in the last panel is this version of the shirt that we cut. Is that how it got out? That's how people started posting it. Somebody pulled it from Jason's Instagram and put it on Ludwig's subreddit so it leaked And I was like, who leaked this?

This isn't even shot in our warehouse. I don't understand where this came from. Somehow Nick Yingling did this. No, I, that's what I thought. We were in the office pointing at each other like Spider-Man. Like, who gave this to the press? And it was fucking.

Next to Erdog has someone inside mogul moves. And it was Jason the entire time. Do you have it? Pull out a tent to zip. It's on. I can't find his Instagram right now. I think, I think, is it I am Jason pun? Instagram?

Uh-oh. A thousand new followers. just hit the timeline. Jason's a good guy. He's a great guy. Give him a follow. Him and Sam Allman. He came through on the shirts.

He came through on the shirts. Sam Alman's going to come through. Oh my God. Dude. In that hat. It's so funny that you said that on the China episode, which again, the lovely Billy Billy viewers just kind of passed over.

And then someone threw a Molotov at his house. Someone. It wasn't you You can't get your shit together To do anything that's not fucking Sitting that reacting Listen to the howling dog Right

I didn't go to Miami bro Really I just went Actually what I did And then I put the butt to it You put the tip Yeah No I didn't fucking

Maltov his house But it's hilarious That it happened Yeah it's a tragedy It's a pretty cool thing to do though Not like where he threw it But just like throwing a Molotov It's like a dream

I think it is funny because there was that there's that comment threat on the episode where you're arguing with the Billy Billy tourist. And he's and he and you're like, Ludwig literally threatened Sam Altman at the beginning of this episode. And then the person immediately said, yeah, but that's not a real thing that has happened yet. It's the same week. For context for the listeners, that's how I, if I didn't need any more conversation or sorry, confirmation that you were about it, when you, you arguing with someone. who you have to physically press the Translate Google option on YouTube.

It's just a button click. To like see what they say. Well, let's not pretend five years ago you wouldn't have gone to like a translate website. It's just like to even argue with someone who's typing like fully in Chinese and then replying back to them. Like you love this shit.

I just hate feeling misrepresented. I don't care if you're Chinese. Part of me was going through this and realizing that you both are having this like beautiful kind of nuanced conversation about the media that's in front of you both in two completely different languages that you can immediately translate with the power of this button and that was that's kind of nice it's different than it used to be it's like that couldn't happen and it's accurate it's more accurate than ever the amount of people who watched

that episode and maybe you guys already talked about this but in thought loved it was a guest yeah we talked about that it was hilarious is so funny unbelievable I honestly I wish I could have 20% of people who see the show always think that. I felt like a guest. So I could just fuck up so I could just read the comments every episode. Talking to you guys. I felt like a guest in my own show. We're talking over you.

Did you really? Because I couldn't even get a thought out and I felt like I was... Why else? Do you like Slate As Fire? Yeah, actually I have a I have an idea that I wanted to enact. Hit me hard. Hit me hard and moan you do it.

Did you guys see the new Mr. Bees video? No. Obviously. I heard everyone got fucking, I thought everyone had fucking beef with him for it. I type. I got beef with them now. Because he like,

what happened? Because like, have you not heard about this? I haven't. So the new video is fucking insane. What is it, bro? What's the streamer one? It's no.

Oh, is where he starves those people in the grocery store? Well, kind of. Not really. The opposite. The opposite.

Yeah, it's a grocery store. It's a lot of food. They're starving. It's the one where he's the exact opposite. It's a grocery store. They surprise them in the grocery store. He like goes to this fucking grocery store. And it's just it's a fake grocery.

So he bought it. He stocked it. And he said half off all items. And he duped regular townspeople to go to it. Because they're like half off. I'll go. Yeah. And so there's like 100 people in here.

And then he fucking walks. And he goes, I'm fucking Mr. Beast. I'm going to give the last person to leave this place, 250K. And then like 70 people are like, I'm good. I'll leave. and they get free groceries, but then 30 people stick it out. And it's,

and it gets ugly. Sure. It gets ugly because, you know, basically everyone's strat to get everyone else out because they all want a quarter mill is to make their lives miserable

in hell by like popping the fucking sleeping bag they're on or, honestly, recession indicator. 250? What are we doing? It's low.

You're Mr. Beast. But then, but then video ends and there's four people who are basically like, we're boys, we're locked, we're not fucking leaving.

to Mr. Beas is like... You're going to fucking put our funerals here. Yes. Because we are not going to bury us here, bitch. You have a set of Molotov to all of us. And so the end, this is what we're fucking care. The end is he comes back and he's like, fine then. I got a million dollar

fucking thing. If you guys wait a week, week passes. And he comes back and he's like, I'll give you each 250K. If you stay in here while I restocked the entire grocery store and you can only leave once you've eaten it all, bear in mind, bro, they were already in there for 67 days.

Oh my fucking God. And then it restarts to a new challenge that they'll have to do for a year. They're still in there now. Them boys are gonna have sex with each other. He's trying to, like, set this precedent that, like, you can't break my games. Like, because people have tried this stuff before.

I think if he ever caves, then for the future of all Mr. Beast awesome pranks, then people are gonna be like, hey, if we all make a deal, we'll all come out of here. It's like the hunger game. But like, dude. It's like the hunger game.

The capital, you can't let the capital can't let them win. But he could just keep doing that because then they could finish the year and then he could go fucking. My media analysis. You could go, guys, $4 million. $1 million for each of you. One more year. But you have to now have sex with each other on camera each of you over the course of a year.

And you have to teach me how it works while you're doing it. You guys have to make a rhombus. with your bodies. You could do it infinitely because he has enough money. How long until he like human centipedes some people? I honestly I think it's because you can't monetize that

but here's my idea. He's got the uh-oh scoob outfit on. He does. He looks like shaggy. That's unbelievable. Who told him beige on Army Green? He looks like shaggy.

Here's my idea. It's a quarter mill each. This guy Juan, Mexican dude, 50 years old. He's in there. He's got a kid. He can't see his kid for a year. Good as hell at Puff.

We fucking, we go in there, quarter mill. Fuck, it's a month of the page, boys. And we go, Juan, we got a fucking quarter mill. Let's fucking break you out of there, bro. And we break him out. We fucking fly down. We break us out. We have the fucking bag.

We go on. We got the fucking money. What does this achieve? It breaks it, bro. Dude, we break it. And we fucking save him. We fucking stop the capital, bro. We stop the fucking cap.

What do you mean? What is this? We do the, we're the money. We're breaking PETA out. You're saying the second man's? What about the other, these other guys? Second man, Swan. Ah, fuck them.

So it's like fuck the other guys? I don't care to save Mr. Beast slaves or whatever. I don't care. You don't care to say the Mexican, dude. He owns them. And that's that. You're framing in a weird way. Huh?

Yeah, I'm saying he don't care to save the Mexican, dude. I feel like. He's saying, he's saying, keep whoever you got his slaves in the Mr. Beast grocery store, keep whoever you got in Riyadh, let me get on Billy Billy to argue in the fucking comments. I'm trying to make actionable change in the world.

I'm trying to save a man and you're saying... You're trying to save that man with ripped jeans and he's that old. That's paint. No way. The guy works. Salt of the fucking earth, isn't he? And you can see the... And the boots too. He probably came from work.

He did, bro. He's not an amazing hair. Wait, wait, wait. He's going to stalk the grocery store and they have to eat everything in there? They're going to sit there for it for a minute. Ten seconds. I don't understand. They have to live in the store and it will take them a year to eat it.

Yes. That is what it looks like now and they leave when they eat all of that. And he's estimating that it'll take them a year to get through. Well, yeah, this video came out last week. I don't know how long it took to edit. They're still in there. They're still in there now. And so people are mad at him.

People are like, dude, let them go. Yeah. Because he could presumably just keep it. He could then at the end of the year, be like, guys, a million each. And then they'd be like, well, fuck, a million a lot. alternative, like if they quit now, can they split the 250K4 ways? No, definitely not.

Okay. I don't think that's... That's very anti-beast. He wants one winner, one story. People are upset that he has just changed the rules of the game instead of being like, all right, you did it. Come on, guy. Let me reward you.

It could have been a sweet ending. He goes, hey, you know what? You all get fucking 100K. I've said this, bro. The teeth changed him. The teeth made him weird now and he dressed like shaggy and his slaves. That's how he lives.

That's Mr. Beast. That's what he is. Mr. Beas. What can you do about it? And he meets MBS and he flies UAE and shit and he flies around the Gulf States. He made one fucking amusement part

and freaks out. Can a guy make one fucking amusement park in Saudi Arabia? Can a guy do something fucking cool? Can a guy take his family there for one vacation? Can I ask you if each... Can my guy get fried dough?

Yeah, please. At the Saudi Arabia Mr. Games Slade and build an amusement park. And can a guy go to the fried dough? And there's a Mr. B's head and you go into his mouth and the teeth are there and is a roller coaster. He fucking just... Would it be...

Would it be a big deal if I told the yard patrons that the people who built the set were Nepalese workers that we sold their passports? And they couldn't leave America until they finished building the set. Because when you lose your passport, you can't go anywhere else. You're kind of just in John Doe and you get eaten swallowed up by the system and you live with clothes as walls. Let me ask you this. I got a hughal question for you. Please let me.

I got a hule answer. The heel question of that episode. Let's say A-Truck does an MBS-sponsored trip to Riyadh. Okay. Would you judge him? In Saudi Arabia.

I only would judge him if he didn't put the fucking screws to that motherfucker. If he didn't ask him a hard and fun question. I'd be kind of like confused how they like got him like what kind of aircraft can like carry,

like one that carries cars. It would be the USS George Washington. The one of the back opens and you have to be it to wheeling. We got a way. Unblog the straits to get them in. He can't get through. Fat Aetrax stuck on the USS

George Washington in the middle of the Strait of Hormuzes. It floods the straits. They're saying the straight is blocked by a man actually. Colossus of Rhodes. He's the snorlocks I sleep on the bridge. Yeah. You need a poker flute. But for him it's just saying Luca Donchitz right now.

That's probably it. The hangar door. It finally makes land in the dock. The sun. hitting his face. He falls out like a silly buddy. He's being that fucking straight. Oh, fucking hot here. It's fucking hot.

Fucking hot. Where's my, where's my dress? I want you guys to stop. He wears the fat grandma dress that they wear on the house. Like the gown that you can also sleep in. You guys, you got a bonnet on to it.

It smells insane. You got a bonnet. You got a bonnet. What hair are you? What are you? What is that bonnet, bro? It's not fucking... It's stuck in the tub.

It's fucking funny. And it's fucking hot. He's sweating like a pig too. You can't disrespect my co-host like this. You can't... It's only one co-host. Yeah, bro. It's only one?

Well, the other one's a map. I would hate to... Yeah, I don't... They don't like that one. They didn't like that one. I read them comments. Officer, I didn't... I didn't know what fast was one. I'm sorry.

I didn't even know that's where we were going. I didn't even know that this is a boring. What do you think it's like for me making a show with a fat guy who takes a Riont checks and a fucking, fucking guy who says he's a map? What is the? I'm trapped. I'm trapped because Vox. Vox owns the show.

I sold my soul. I sold my thing. He got your passport. Vox won't let me leave. He's captive. So what do I do? What do I do? And you guys sit here.

you make jokes about it. Like, this is in my fucking life. I'm fucking sorry. So I just got back from China like we all did and I had to get that awesome app on my phone that we allie pay. When I got back, somehow I couldn't read what the app does.

I was trying to Uber Eats Bobo to my room and have a robot bring it to me. I subscribe to like eight different services. Oh, me too. Dude, I don't even know what they do. Dude, they sent me porn. They sent you porn. Yeah.

None of mine were porn. Half of mine are like for like sports. They sent me boba and fully clothed porn. Fully clothed porn. Are you sure it's porn? Yeah, I can swear to God it's porn. I don't think it is. But I mean, if you wanted to see all these places you accidentally subscribe to in one place, you could get Rocket Money. Dude, that's how I found out. We've talked about us so much. I had it and I was like, I'm going to open it and see what's in there. And it was all this shit was a Mandarin, bro. And I was like, what the hell was all this? What did I subscribe to these?

And with Rocker Money, you can cancel the Mandarin. cancel all of it. Cancel the spending. It'll cancel the subscriptions and the spending. I appreciate what Rocket Money can do and has done for all of us. Check credit scores. I'm gonna be the first one to say in this ad read.

I'll be keeping all the things that I subscribe to. Well, and what do you scribe to again? Clothed porn. I just don't know if it's porn. It has to be. The one thing that I do know is that Rocket Money is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions,

monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so that you can grow your savings, which is what I'm trying to do right now. And like Nick, solve your Chinese problem with RocketMoney.com slash the Yard. Not like an overarching problem. It's a specific problem. That's rocketmoney.com slash the Yard.

Just monitored your subscriptions, probably to streaming services, not clothed porn. I know it's porn because I'm attracted to it. Well, then that would make Pokemon porn for me. Now let's get back to your weekly clothed porn of the Yard podcast. Can I give you an out? Yeah. How much? Anything.

And just be honest. How much I get you out of this whole situation Would it cost for me to put you in a grocery store? You gotta eat your way out Yeah You earn your freedom It would take you let's just say a year And you have to eat like 3,000 calories a day

Right Oh my gosh He hates eating already We'd have one treadmill there Dude I can run laps We'd have one track there We'd save some power

Painted with spray paint I don't think I would do that for any amount of money 40 billion I don't know for like A $1 billion fucking kill yourself. I already scored it. A billion. Aydn, it's a billion dollars.

It's a lost year of my life. Oh my God. I lost a year of my life playing fucking watching Deadwood. Would you, would you take 40 billion to delete a year off the back end of your life? Oh. Actually, let me. Because then you don't give a fuck about that year very much, man. No.

Let me sweet the pie here. Let me sweep the pot. I take it immediately. Can I keep it a stack? Not anymore. Oh, he's trying to say he's rich, rich. I give you, I'm saying, disgusting.

I give you, I give you a hundred mil plus citizenship anywhere in the world for you in a plus one. Instant citizenship. Hey, citizenship, everywhere in the world. Whoa. You get the ultimate passport.

And, and you get the fucking, you get the flipper zero at chip installed in your brain and you can speak all the language. You get to shoot one person in the skull. No questions asked. Everyone knows it happens. And you celebrate you. You keep throwing in little extra treats that aren't treats. Those are a treat.

That's a treat. It's up to you to use. Oh my god. And every, I would, okay. And every fucking new storefront has a bronze statue of you inside. I get 40 billion. I delete the back year off my life.

Yeah. I also have to eat food in the grocery store. You need your cap. You're not separate. You want to eat your way. It's not all food. Also, you have to eat the makeup in the store too. It's not just.

But you have to shoot through H-Rater. to get to wherever you want to shoot. So you need like a 50 cowl. That's fine. I don't even know if that's... You might need like a bigger bullet. Don't worry. And are you fucking doing it? Are you fucking doing it? Yeah. Well, now you've made it feel like a bit of my duty. Okay.

I think we had to create... I think here's the real answer to this question is I think Tom, I think I have a... I'm good... I'm in a good spot and I don't want to lose a year of my life. I don't want to... A billion don't?

You could buy a billion You could buy a million You could make his life miserable It'd be crazy You could buy Like so many CS knives You could take away that year of your life And you could feed every homeless person

In the world for you Yeah, think about that shit I guess yeah Stupid ass I want to look at the noble Because you know what you did Is you just thought oh how could I use this How could I use this? Oh no A tiny weird sports car

Did I sacrifice a year of my life to help you. You wouldn't sacrifice a year your life for all of humanity is what you're saying. I would do it if it's saved every human life. Girl, that's your choice of how to spend the money. It always was. That we just said we didn't think about it. You just thought that it how you'd spend on yourself. I do. Tampons in every Uber. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. And every Uber and that's 700 mil. And not someone who can explain them how you put the waymos in the Uber too. I would see to that. I would get funding. We bought out way mo. They're dead. No, yeah. No, we didn't buy them out. We we. We, we didn't buy them out. We, we put a stop to them. We have a shot. John Waymo has been found dead. I think of your Versaist ordeal, you have to fund my paramilitary group. I would to kill the Waymos.

What the fuck? Waymo is valued at $126 billion. Valuations are so fake. The thing is, though, is I can take the company down with way less than that. I don't know Google owned a majority of Waymo. Wow. I didn't know that. Yeah, I think they gave up on their own car a while ago. that was a thing, wasn't it?

They owned thing. Wow. The Google Lamborghini. Apple was working on a car too. I got the Google Lamborghini. Would you guys take it? 100%. To save all humanity.

You would take the grocery store thing. See, I'm older too. It kind of sucks. Like if I took this deal, I'd come out of there at 37 years old. That's kind of scary. Of course I would do it. Because then I would make your life miserable. Yeah, I would use the money to hurt you. Okay.

Dude, I would do crazy shit to your life. And you couldn't stop it. I'd hire people to follow you around forever. And I'd say never touch, but be close. Never touch, but make sure he always knows you're there. I would do that, bro. Dude, time is, time is all we got. Yeah, but money's all we got too, but.

Yeah, I'd give like a $4 billion donation to the Swedish government and change the law to immigrate there. You have to like fuck like a monkey on like the news. Right, I'm with you. And everyone has to watch it. You would like get like an email from the Swedish government. Sorry, your application has actually been extended. You think that's 4 mil?

I said 4 bill. He said 4 bill. It's all going to make the only thing he wants have really high consequences. How much is IKEA worth? More than 4 Bill, surely. I'm going to go 28 bill. I'm going to go, I'm going to go 60 bill. Show me 35.

I don't care. 45 pounds? Wow, wow. 60 was close. I'm 15 off. Why is it in pounds? No, no, you're way closer because that's fucking, that's Euro. That's Euros, but...

Why is it in Euro pound? Probably because it's a European company. It says 25 there. All the numbers are wrong. Fuck AI. I don't know a shit. As a little B made a song cursing AI yet. That might say that could fix everything.

I wish it would. You hate AI now. Fuck, man. Now you hate it. Now you hate AI. He's fucking panty. I hate it. I love women's rights.

Fuck. What do I do with all these values? Fuck, I hate AI and I want tampons in every Waymo. Fuck. I hate AI and I want tampons in every waymo. just want to see you smile. I just want you to smile because you deserve it. Fuck! What do I do with all these fucking principles?

And I blast Chinese Glock's fow! Is this a fucking wrong? My shooter blast Chinese Glocks, bro. My shooter got an elevator in his house, bro. Yeah, we chop sticks. How old that? Yeah. I guess.

For him, that's just a day at the office. That's kind of cool. Jim. Do this show too late. man. Why, you don't like the show late? I like the show late. Do this too late. What's your schedule right now? Because every time I'm like, yo, can we do the show at 10 a.m.? Nick's like, you fought back on it. Yeah. I was surprised. I appreciated it. I was so reasonable. But you've been doing it like weeks in a row. Here's a thing. I feel it tell me if you think this is unfair. I feel

we mold to your life quite a bit. A lot of the scheduling of what we do molds to your life. Agreed. So you were like, I want to do it 10. Yeah. Sometimes when you say 10, oh, it's just 10. 10's the law. It's 10 now. And I said, you know, I have fucking 8. agency in this world. I'd like 11. Do you do this on GP? On GP. General principle. Yeah. You didn't even need a half hour. You fought for 10.30. Well, no, to get here at 10

is to like wake up at 8.30. And I just didn't want to wake up at 830. Because I got a shower. I got to get ready and stuff. I just didn't want to wake up at 30. I'd rather wake up at 9.30. Okay. And I, and I think you have agency. And I think you should have. I said, I didn't say no, I won't do it. I said, 11 is better for me. But if it's not possible, I can do 10. You guys, that's super fair. You guys. I think that's super fair. You guys negotiated. Yeah, you did this off camera, which I didn't like.

It was on stream. It was actually on camera. It was on stream. What? I came in the chat. I was making fun at Aden in chat. And then Ludwig airs me out. And he says, like, tell me the truth.

Why do you want to fucking do ten, bro? I said, don't ask questions. You don't want to fucking answer to. And then he met me at 1030. I said, preach. Preach. Because the only reason I'm trying, I'm not trying to move it up just so I can,

it's because like I have some, I had to do the thing with Michael initially. And then my whole schedule got. So then you reply? You say, not possible. I go, all right. But I'm, you know, and I'm,

I'm the, I'm first of mine. Eat a dick Monday, and he's throating it all. Eat a dick Monday. And I brought horse radish. Eat the balls too. Yep.

The balls are seconds. I just feel like dessert. I feel like sometimes, and we met in the middle here, my reason's a little better. Your reason's a little better. You just don't want to get up early.

Sometimes for your job, you just got to get up early. Yeah, I'm just, I'm funnier if I'm not tired. That's a good, point. And I did think about that. The show suffers. That's why I want to do it. Because I don't want to show up and not be funny. He's a little crank.

Why did you want to do it at 10? Because I had initially the Michael thing at one. Word. It's funny because sometimes he makes these demands and it's like, oh, can we do like an hour earlier? But then you know what ends up happening? He sits on his fucking phone on that couch for 40 minutes

and it's like, what was this for? Give me the beat boys in Fremont Chinese Sway. What a fabrication. It is a bit of fabrication. I will say, he doesn't He doesn't generally do that, but you are, here's the truth of it. Here's the real dark, twisted truth. When's the last time you requested an early time slot that you showed up on time? Oh, kill shot.

Literally last week. Kill shot. Bang. What? Kill shot. Bang. Last week. When?

Literally the last week is Monday. We record. I don't remember what time was. I don't remember a sharp sharp in a long time. He wasn't there. Oh, well, if I wasn't there, I wasn't there. That was here sharp, sharp. What happened about?

I here's your real argument even if that's true it hasn't been true for the past like 90 times well that's the thing about you guys it's like fucking are we living in the past like should we be here before like fucking gay marriage it was over it was the other week

it was the other week and I said we need to start the primo if this is I said yes to a lot of week schedule change and I said as long as we start at one razor shutter shudder You used a lot of adjectives. I used a new term.

Well, no, because Sharp died. And then Razor Sharp's dead. Razor Sharp was on the way out. I would say Sharps been dead for years. We got to move on from the Razor Sharp, the fucking time we record combos. Hold on. That's the thing. I moved on.

I said razor, chutter sharp. To me. Are you saying chutter or cheddar? Cheddar. Cheddar. Cheddar. Chudder. Chudder.

Jeez. And I said, razor chudder. Because I needed to be done in time for a meeting that I could not move. Oh. he was like seven hours late, which was one. I was like, we need to start, we need to start at one.

And Ludwig was so late that I got to do the meeting and then we did the episode. I was here the whole time. It was crazy. Look, if I could also, I just share it because another, you know,

Ludwig was late conversation. But if I could share an anecdote. No, let's fucking share up the pie. A funny anecdote. We're back. From the stream where me and Ludwig, we made a deal. You negotiated.

Aiden was asking Ludwig to play CS with him in chat. Ludwig was replying to everything Aiden is saying. Aiden asked to play CS, no reply. That's a dog shit thing to do you, but still ignores it. I go in chat and I say, Tim pinned the message?

It was pinned for like 20 minutes. Dude, that makes me the worst. I feel like I'm poisoned. I go to chat and I'm like, yeah, Aiden, you're a bitch, bro. It's because you're so beta. It's because you're so beta and you want it so bad. Ludwig ignores all this.

And then he cues his own game. Without Aiden? Without Aiden. It's fine. Why am I going to play with the op? The op? You are the op. You're the op.

Why about the app? Because we're running a CS journey that you set up. Yeah. Okay. Did a mid job. We'll talk about it. What the fuck. There's a lot we need to talk about.

But there's a lot to talk about. He did mid? He did all right. He did tell me. I think he did his job, but it's a conversation for a future day. Don't say anything. You think he wanted to play in it a little too bad? No, no, no, no.

I, well, I do think he wants to win it. Oh, he definitely wants to win it. Why would I know? I want to win. Well, I'm just okay, because... This is the talking gun. Okay, Ludwig? You've got the talking gun. No! Dude, another one.

Try the talking gun into your mouth. I told you, it should not have to be a gun. Sorry, the Ludwig interview. Lettweig interview, let him speak. Let him finish his thought. So, uh, we're fucking, we're fucking setting up this, this tournament. This is a draft with captains. Aiden's in the group chat with the captains. And they have some information on, like, who the players are and their general

rank by like skill level. Information that I compile. Yeah, yeah, yeah, as part of the organizer. Separate from being a player. Yeah. Information like, you know, hey, these people are 10K plus. These people are 15K plus for their premiere reading. Dipping your dick in a little T-Oing, aren't you? And so he's a T-O here, but then he pops in and he goes,

by the way, me and Nick Yingling have really good synergy together. So if anyone happens to pick us both up, it could be helpful. You're seated yourself in pools? He types us in the chat. Not in a public forum. In the chat. In a private chat that he had access to

because he's the organizer with the captains. Hold on. Does it change anything? I actually do think this is a bit of a faux pie. I will give this to you. This was not unsolicited.

Who solicited it? Nothing. One of the captains. He tagged me and said, Aiden, how much you play in these days? How good are you? And I said, I answered the question. I answered the question,

and I said, by the way, Nick Yingling, me and him play on the same team. I'll say this. You can't talk to a guy like that and manipulate him just because he's balding. You can't do that. Can you pull up my Twitter?

You pulled the old twat. Because that wouldn't work on me. And it sure won't work on Jordan Nothing Gilbert, the flashbang dance, man. Well, Jordan Nothing Gilbert was part of the draft along with shroud and flam and... You can't put that kind of weight on Nick Engling's shoulder, bro.

He'll crack. This is going to be lit. I don't know these people were doing. Can I not say that the other captains drafted horrible. Scroll down just a little bit. So that's, that's, that's, uh, that's my team. Shroud did no research.

I think the Masayoshi team is gonna clear. Can I say that? It, well, let's just scroll down actually to the important part. Oh, you got me young on the team. She didn't play heartstone on the other one. Don't get me wrong. This team is strong. First two picks for Jordan Nothing, Gilbert, who got this information from Aiden.

Lasty shit. Aiden, Calvin and Nick Yingling. Hold on. That's nasty. Most peptides per capita as well. He was the fourth pick. In a snake draft Yeah

But I'm just he might not I don't think he would have picked Oh sorry the first three captains Fucked up And didn't use the data I don't think he would have picked Nick Yingling Had he not heard that info from you Yep

That picture of yingling is really funny If you don't have the context That he's like in front of a melee setup Yeah Like if you don't think about at all where he is It looks like a depressed guy It looks like the picture A young thug in front of the computer

I'll say this Aiden if you have to just come correct If you, you bet you game the system A little bit. Here it is. You better win. I said it was a faux pa. I did game the system. I want Nick Yingling on my fucking team.

Otherwise, this event's a waste of time. I appreciate the honesty there. And I hope you fucking win. It's either give me Nick Yingling or give me Nike jakey and I needed one of those things. And I get accusations of rigging my own events to win. From who?

From viewers all the time. People say you rig- Fuck the viewers, for real. I'm just saying these are accusations I get. Scroll down to that damn Masay Yoshi team. And I'm seeing someone do it. Is this team not fucking? fucking stacked. Austin CS.

Two of them have CS in their names. Arrow CS. Corridor Jada and Masayoshi are really good. This team is good. Like where is it like I guess I guess Ray but like where you know is that enough? No I think this is a good team. Strong team. I think they have a shot but you should I don't know you watch Austin stream last night. He's crash it out. That might not be your number one team. But I also think you know, Kemp. Yeah the Kemp, the CS experience is a little low. I see what you're saying. You're saying you are constantly

good accusations that you rig events like the streamer games which you did twice in a year twice in a row. This is the second best team. Are you the first best team? We're the first and the second. And then this is the other team. So that's the second and he's the first or the second.

But really Ludwig, the call came from inside the house. If you switched yingling with another one of the I guess, pick would have the team third seeds or whatever. Do you still think you're the first? Because it probably would have been like Stable Rinaldo or actually no, probably would have been

like Masayoshi. I think, oh, here's the real, here's the real deal breaker for our team. Is Noco was one of the last picks on paper, but has actually gotten way better at the game since the rank data was pulled. So our worst player on paper is actually quite good,

and courage is good, even though he doesn't play much. And then it's, like, there's no bad player on our team. It's a stop. It's going to be a horrible, All the other teams, all the other teams have at least one bad player. Wait, you're casting it, are you?

Yeah. I was gonna say we should go and we could dress up as anti-Aiding guys. We could fucking cheer only against that team. And we could paint our bodies and our stomachs. And we could be like, fuck the Aiden team. They fucking rigged this. I'll tell you something, man. Just me casting the game does not prevent me doing this.

Is it my fault that I put the, did I put the little grains in the chat? That I put my hands on the scale. and the first three captains ignore it. It's a good question. Yes, it is. Because you... Can we not do a little insider trading? I say, in this era of...

If Donald Trump can do it? Yeah. If Le Orange Man can do it? Why not Kamala Harris? If we can make a billion dollars insider trading on the war in Iran, I can't get Nick Yingling on my fucking CSD? I will say this, Ludwig,

do you think having Nick Yangling on his team is that much of an advantage? Yeah. Really? Yeah, 100%. I think... Cam is pretty important in these.

I think it's very important because no other team has that. They'll also not... They'll be the only team with set strats. I think he flew out Nakey to have a miserable time where he gets fisted every single game, goes 03, goes home and he goes, yeah,

that sucked. Is he coming on the yard? Yeah, he's coming on the yard. Okay. Next week. Naky Jakey, me like, yeah, that yingling guy just swung me perfectly every time. Crazy.

Unbelievable. I never had a one. one v one. And I tried to have a conversation with him about, I don't know, television and pop culture and he can't really engage on any point. I tried to talk to him about Iran and he didn't really know what that was. He didn't know what it was. I told him I came on an airplane. He said the thing that puts food in your mouth on a spoon. That's my teammate by the way.

We got a good kid. We got a good kid. Yeah, his mouse pad. He loves playing Balkan on furtled. His mouse pad was just streets and cars. He was sitting on his mouth He's got a few hot wheels from timeouts It's great He's like Just with his arm on the table

Just going That make you feel white boy Now I'm on his side Because he made me laugh so damn much Are you playing in it? Sometimes you guys indulge Yeah my team is above. Oh, right, right, right. Yep.

It's not bad, except for the bad parts. It's really, the problem with his team is that it's literally all people, I think me young plays the most counter track on this team. Really? Well, I think the team's skills quite high, except for me,

but the synergy of this team is the ob, it's the worst synergy. That picture of shroud looks crazy. Looks like the Easter Island head emoji. Which I guess is just the Easter Island head. It kind of looks like when you make yourself in a video game. Yeah, yeah. He looks like he'd spent like an hour on content

When you scan yourself into Rainbow Six? You're like, yeah, I guess it's mapped. Ludwig. He's on there. I think I didn't know that this was so lit. This is gonna be fun.

Do you think Ron will take it seriously? Absolutely not. I know you're asking Ludwig, but I answer. I mean, I guess in the same way he took PSL seriously, right? Like he was,

he fried on some maps. Oh yeah, he cared. That's true. He's a competitor at heart. I think for what it's actually, worth is all of these teams are even enough that they can just win. Fucking guy who rigged it.

Guy who said out the best team. I actually think the event said up really well. Guy who said I have the best team. That's not fine. Because if I lose it's like then I'm just wrong. To win was to not do what you did. I'm telling you what I genuinely believe which is that these times are fairly even. If you win, you are in the wrong. Yeah.

If you lose. It's beautiful. It's embarrassing. It's beautiful. I wouldn't make fun of you. I would say I was wrong. I overestimated Nick Yingling. I didn't expect him you know, to underperformer however he goes. And he cuts his salary in half too. If he does badly

in this event? No, if he does well, actually it's the opposite. If he has a positive KDA, I gotta go out back, I gotta go, you can go. Hey, you think Stable Ronaldo will look me in the fucking eyes when I passed by him? Or not. No, no. Almost absolutely not. Typical. Can you do?

You can say, hey, Ron, look me in the eyes. I will. I'm gonna be a problem at this thing. You guys have you get so much awesome roles. What's my role? Dude, you guys are you get the role you're in it. What am I doing at the event? I can't wait to find out. I'm like, I've been waiting this whole time. And it's like you have been playing Counterstrike.

And I've been playing recently. He's been playing. I've been playing. I got my rank. We actually do need a guy in the back on a steam deck playing Slate Aspire 2. I don't know. What? Really? And that's part of the event? Position at the blowjob factor. You just opened up.

Gotta tell my mom that I finally got a job. You were sick, bro. We assigned all these roles in the podcast the other day. Yeah, I must have been because I was sitting. It wasn't even an event until fucking they started doing. You guys came up with it last week. Fuck. Yeah, we just came up with it.

And it's like it was mostly at the Dodgers game. Fucking mostly. Slat. And also Tommy Fam is coming through too. Fuck. Yeah, Tommy Fan 1V1 scouts knives with Ludwig. I want to be the oldest person in the room. That's fine, dude.

I don't even fucking want to be a person. You get Tommy fam to do that 1V1 not Evo instead Ludwig. I guess Tyler won't I think they're up like you better than Ludwig. It might be worth. Dude. I did the fucking rivals of ether two road to Evo tournament. I went 02. Like dead ass last.

You don't play rivals. I know, but there's 200 DQs and I dodged all of them. Like I went genuine O2. You play people. I played people. You lost you lost two accounts that made a DQ run. Yes. Yeah, yeah.

Yes. I do. That's happened to me. It does not feel crazy. BeachCon 2017 melee this happened. It was quite a lot of DQs. Yeah, you don't practice shit anymore.

You were just too busy riding a bicycle. You're too busy, miscletta. What character do you play? Because you have, oh, yeah, what? Laxadone. The locks it on. Logging me and Stango. He got first, I got last.

It's so awesome seeing some melee guys up there. Uh, yeah. Salted pretty well. Yeah, salted well. What place did you should eat? 17th or 13th. I love a bag. She's that good of rivals?

Yeah, yeah. Can you do? Yeah, you don't play games. You don't practice shit. You just eat hot chip and lie. I'm stretched too dick. Yeah, whose fault is that? It's always been your problem.

But now you said yes to too many things is literally not his fault. And I hate this guy. What do you think? Take your current melee skill. Yeah. If you took an average gamer, average gamer,

how much time do you think it takes them to beat you in a tournament set. It's a good question. From they've never played, raw time. How much it takes them to get to your level and surpass you by just enough to beat you? Are they practicing my matchup or just playing? They're just playing.

They're just practicing the matchups as much as you can practice any of the matchups. Like you just, you cue slippy, you got a friend who plays, like, you know. They're not like only trying. They're not literally watching your vods and only playing against Puff and like, you know, getting coached by fucking Leffin.

It's like, how much time do they have to play a day? Well, it's the question. is just time overall. But so I have some info because I went to PSL with Super and Emily and we did 1V2s at the setup.

Dude, they were losing A melee? They were losing a passion fruit in 1V2. Your Falco? I love that. They said they won one.

They were so proud. They were so proud. They won versus your Mario, right? I went through my character. Yeah, I went Puff, then I went Fox. And then I was like, all right.

And I went Falcon. Then I was like, Passion Fruit. You went Captain Falcon? Yeah. To LUD's credit, this setup was like, so laggy.

It was like horrible laggy. Like it's in Dolphin and it's running at like 38 FPS. Like it's chugging. And then I went Mars. Vondi bodies dancing around. Yeah. I won Marth and then I was like, you know what? Extra Emily, this isn't sexist. Go peach.

And then. Oh. And then I put Super on Marth. And then I went Mario. And then they won and then they popped off. And I was like, I shouldn't have done that. No, they needed that. There was a Lakers game on Sunday night.

Uh-huh. And I go, like me and Ludwig were planning to go. And then you couldn't go anymore. Yeah. And I show up not realizing that like, like, I just kind of like, oh, I'm going to be like, I'm just going to be at the Lakers game now. Oh, you didn't realize they were going. And I go to the seats and Super and Emily are there.

So I get to watch the game with them. And they're proudly explaining like, yeah, like he, he forward smashed with Marth and I down smashed with Peach. And we fucking beat him. Not giving any of the context that they had lost. like so many before or the context that Super said Nick what do I do how do I beat him and I said pick

the sword guy and just hit the C stick Emily used the down one Oh you coached a little bit I said I walked away And then they beat the Mario with that strategy Was the Marth C and the Peach C His recovery's tough Giving Super TEP Mart isn't right That's not where his heart is he doesn't like that

To answer your question I think it would take from raw Like Super TF skills level, like two months as his main game, maybe. Really? Only two months? No, put some respect on your name, bro. I think it would be way longer.

To beat your jiggly puff and I don't think you're good at melee. I disagree. I think melee is an extremely hard game to learn, but we forgot that because we learned it forever ago. I guess I don't really know how long it takes to learn the game anymore. I was going to say, do you think more or less than a year? Oh, less than a year for sure. I don't think so, man. If it's his main game, 100%.

Oh, I think if he's playing like, If he's grinding every day, I think he could do it in a year. Also, I said average gamer. Super is like a proven world champion. I don't know if he's like... Ex-Emily, it would take multiple lifetimes. Yeah, extra Emily is not going to make it happen. I don't think it's happening.

You found the way to make it sexist. That's cool. No, no, no, no. I don't think. I think it's just a gamer thing. Average gamer are all minutes. That's not what I meant. Maybe hours at most.

Actually, I try to give the benefit of doubt there. Nope, I meant it how it was perceived. Average gamer I was going to say it would take like a year and a half of it. Super is not God's talent. He plays fighting games and he's very mid. You play Puff, which is like hard for a new player. I also think it's easy for me to stay sharpish at, like, sharper than I would if I was playing. I remember you were a hit away from beating yangling at the company tournament a couple years ago.

It was, you took a game off me of that tournament. You've beaten Miles in tournament. It was a while ago. Beating Nick Allen. And then he took, he took, he took. Hey, hey, but he got the prize pool. took him for two games and we did for two minutes

folks yeah I guess I'm fucking that guy bro I just You went lower so we'd stroke you I genuinely just actually forgot how long it takes to learn that game because I actually was basing off

how long it took me to learn Minecraft but like it's less these days people learn melee faster these days I think people learn games faster too yeah I think it's just the resource of being able to play online

I think that was the real holdup like in our, when we started playing, the real thing that held you up from approving really quickly is you had to play in person all the time, which means you could only put in so many hours. Yeah, people goon the fuck out on that game now. And now people goon. It's just real.

And you could do it, I think you could do it in like a year and a half year. Yeah, I think it'd be under a year for sure. Anyway, try now. Try now on your phone. Pick up Slippy for the first time today. We need the Magnus Carlson app but for you and it's like a puff that plays about as good as you. You need a video of you online.

showing you that your first day is today and then I'll play you in the guy who made Philip make Ludd? A hundred, dude, a guy with Chachy BT free version could make Ludd way. Someone who's got clod or a lot of real man hours of time, make a puff bot

that Q's Slippy has studied dude, can we get access to like all your Slippy files that you've ever had? There are none. There's some. If you've ever opened Slippy and played it, you have files. Yeah, I got some. They will train a fucking bot to play exactly like you. You could file cancel as much as you miss them.

That beats me tomorrow. Yeah, I think I bought that. Technology has... No, I'm saying a bot that plays like you. And they play it. Can you beat Ludwig and Malay? I'll just play you, bro.

Fucking farm to table. All of them. I like that. I'll play whoever makes the best video about it. Most of it. We made bad videos. We kind of did this at Genesis, right? People got to play you, didn't they?

I did... It was mashing. That was different. Oh, never mind. I thought it was melee. And I swept the whole crew. it's true. Uh, that one,

that one you could train to beat me quicker. By the way, you two fucking ignored me. What did I do? How do you talk to me like this? I didn't, I didn't see it until it was too late.

I saw in the morning. How dare you speak to me like that? He ignored me. When did I fucking do that, fucker? I tagged the chat because I know you guys both had chess arcs and there's an opportunity

to do a simile game against Magnus Carlson. Oh yeah, I saw that. I ignored that immediately. I wanted to do it by thought in the morning. Is that not crazy to ignore it immediately? I don't get, I'd get nothing from playing against Magnus Carlson.

I did not. I interpreted that message as really you asking me. I also interpreted it as take my table scrap slaves. I didn't do that. I actually thought it was generous. It's just so interesting. It's just so interesting. I would love to play Magnus.

I actually pisses me off. The Atchuk had to play him. Atric was the fill eventually. It's just so sad. Yeah, and then he had to eat a burger in front of him too. It was probably disgusted Magnus so much. It was crazy that between every movie ate one more burger and Magnus. lost because he was just goffawed.

He ran out on time. I can't believe he hit another one. Was his tweet real? Did he actually win? I don't know. I don't know how it actually happened. He tweeted that he won, but I'm assuming that was just a joke for sure. But I don't know.

I didn't know if it was like a simul where like, oh, and he's fucking blindfolded and getting jerked off at the same time. I don't think there's a context in any game where I would value playing the best player as like some sort of showcase opportunity. I don't really care. I don't get, I know, and I'm not saying like no one should, but me personally I'm like, I don't, fucking... There's no one you'd like

be excited to to just fucking share the rift with? Not really, no, I don't think I can. I would, I feel completely opposite. Yeah, me too. Like if I, I would wait in a line... I'd wait in a line 10 people

long to 1V1 faker. Oh, I'd wait in a line. Any more than that, I'm like, I don't need it. Sure, sure. I'm waiting in that, yeah, for sure. And play Magnus and Chess, definitely. This is no line. Is your opinion about this different 10 years ago.

No. I never cared. 10 years from now. Wow. Yes. I'm in the grocery store. One billion dollars is coming my way.

No, I don't think I've ever cared because it's like, I think in my mind, it's like if I can't, if I'm getting dicked by squid, then what do I get really about playing, you know, fucking,

make or something? I've been thinking about it. And I think we break that guy out. I think we go. And I'm going to use my free shot. What the fuck did I do? I haven't shot yet. Oh, you pointed at me first.

See, I didn't flinch. You pointed at me, I said, go ahead, because I want that. I didn't flinch either. I just mouthed off. Roto scope, but a bullet through his head. What the fuck? You learned the word rotoscope. Every, all, dude, all of Ludwig's fans

learned the word rotoscope is all they talk about. Because apparently the only editor on the planet is cam, and all he does is rotoscope. Yeah. It's unbelievably annoying. Lily had the best edit in the whole video. She did, she did.

It was great. Her episode was the only one I watched front to back. It was a treat, well. God, Cam doesn't watch this show. Oh, I said on a stream, he heard it. I said it. Dude, they're using the word rotoscope

on his subreddit in ways I've never seen in my life. Well, guys, we'll rotoscope you next week for another episode of the art or in the Patreon if you're there when another episode coming your way and we'll rotoscope you and your family as well. Oh, my fucking.

Dick! No, you dry fire! We're doing a bull in the chamber and your penis is gone. It's gushing blood. Jesse, it's on the fan. Oh, put it back. Stop it.

Stop it, no. Put it back in my cock. Jesse, you got the van all bloody. I'm losing the blood of my cock, Mr. White. Okay. Bye. Goodbye.