The Yard - Ep. 251 - Swatted Whilst Opening Cases

Episode Date: May 20, 2026

This week, the boys talk about Slime being swatted on stream, Aiden's weird niche apps, and how Nick deals with annoying people in patreon discord server... Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's weird. It's weird. He's fucking with you, but I get what he's saying. It's, no, I'm not fucking with you. Like, I get what he's saying. I'm not fucking with you. Cuder time is not. We all, we all don't know about it. We know. We know. If I hear, I don't, here's the thing, I don't know what Cudor time is. But you know. I would never ask what Cudor time is. I would find out quietly without asking somebody. But even if you don't know, you know that if Aiden can't know, you kind of know.

It means something. It's, it's, it sounds, it's, it sounds, it's, it sounds, it's, it's, it's, it's Can I not know about questions, man? It's the questions. It's the questions. It's not even the questions. It's not even the questions. It's the way you say the questions. It's the fact that you're dressed like that asking questions like those and a place like this at a time like this on a day like this. Are you understanding? It makes complete. Dude, what do you say? I just make complete sense. I'm being so clear. You like clear. You like concise clear robot. I love that. Is it because? Is it because I would take the cooter time away? No, it's not about that. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. matter what you think or do. You don't understand how little you matter. It's really about how you're asking what you're wearing. I wouldn't even subject to you to talking to him about this. Like let us. I don't know who this guy is.

It's disgusting what he's doing. It's the fact that you think you could affect Cooter time. You could. It's like so brazen. The fact that you even with the information could do something is pathetic. Thinking that you could do that is like unbelievable. I think I could share it. Coutter time, we could share it together.

I think, yeah. The thing is, the thing is we could share it and I would ask to share it and then I'd show up to Cooter Time and Derek Diesel's there. And then is it Cooter Time anymore? Is it? Or is it Derek fucking Diesel time? Wow. Andrew's there with a camera? Derek Diesel would be a hoot at Cooter Time. Then it's not

it's not about whether it's a hootter time. It's about Cooter Time. It's about Cooter Time. It's about Cooter Time. It's not Cooter Time. Derek Diesel's there. I have a question. Is it Chubby Cattle Monday if the only other person besides us that Aiden invited was the Crimson Blur? Yes. Yes. Yes. Yeah. But only if Aiden's not there.

Aiden, let me ask you a question. And the blur is like, Aiden told me to replace him. Yeah, I didn't just tell me to show up. I don't know. You look me in the eye. It's us for and the crimson blur every Monday night for dinner.

Yeah. That's not a great time. And the table looks around and he goes, I'm a high protein eating. We're a pretender. Blur spent one hour on appetizers. He's like, he's drawing on the menu. Going through the check,

tabulating the tip. There's a right way to do this. Yeah, he would, he would max, he would like 26.1% tip the, he would subtract the drinks. Well, if the drinks were brought out in an untimely manner. Well, chubby cattle,

you know, drinks are free. Oh, right. Let me ask you a question. Cox, I'd never fucking been there. Coggi-Cattle Monday comes around. You come to the office, you go, Slime, Nick, please, do you want to go to Kobe Cattle?

Lover would go, if you guys both went. Please, let me, yeah, and bubble start farming at the top. And we go, you go, you know what, we're so sorry, and we have so much more lit shit to do, we're busy, right? So, but you invited, you invited us

and you invited your girlfriend, that's the group, okay? And we're going to Chippekekekelly Monday. Yeah, my hot, G.F. We all say no, we all say no, but girlfriend still wants to go. Yeah. And you go with your girlfriend.

Is it chubby cattle Monday? Yeah. It's chubby cattle Monday if you go to lunch with your girlfriend. It's, it's chubby cattle Monday if I go to chubby cattle on a Monday with her. Does that make sense?

You said chubby cattle is anywhere. But the spirit of chubby cattle Monday is that, but you go out to get a meal with your friends. I think, I think chubby cattle Monday's been canceled. Was it, was it chubby cattle Monday when you went by yourself? It's, it, let's say, was it when you went by yourself? Because I think chubby cattle Monday is just when he eats on Mondays. It's starting to sound like that. It was literally chubby cattle Monday. Yeah. And it would, with, with, with, it would literally be, but figuratively it's chubby cattle Monday when we go out and get dinner together. That's our, our last chubby cuddy on Monday is when we kidnap slime from his

That was kind of chubby cattle. That was chubby cattle Monday? Figuratively. Yeah, I'll give you that. And that figurative one is the one we're more interested in because the other one is simply math and bolts and numbers. We don't care about that. And I thought for the figurative version.

You take your beautiful FOID to chubby cattle Monday. He's back on FOID. What? You take your... What I mean back on Floyd? The chubby Cattle Monday. You think your awesome Floyd. She's fucking beautiful.

She got me the... Most of the time... Yeah, I'll get me a... New York strip salad. You go salad. Have you tried to ask your FOID, the Northern Lion question? If you call her and ask her what she... Have I asked my Ford the Northern Lion question?

That's a crazy sentence. If you call her and ask her what she wants to eat for dinner tonight, will she say sushi? There's a chance. There's a chance? What is this? This is the Northern Lion. Women love sushi.

If you call your girl and you ask her what she wants for dinner tonight, she's going to say sushi. I don't think he's ever called her. in the pod. This is fun. This is a world first. You guys will get to talk to Zipper 3.

She's very fun. Oh, she's very fun. And we text and we gossip about Aiden and we do it all the time. I love gossiping about Aiden and Zipa 3. But it appears that she's a little busy. She usually answers.

That's, well, usually is, sounds awesome. Dude, it looks like she's eating with another fucking manseys. Yeah, she's already at sushi. Guys. It's all raw fish.

Hey, babe. What do you mean by that? Love you so much. Call me back when you can. I. You're gonna make her worried. She's just like you're like shot on the street. That sounds like a last message.

Text her and say he's shot on the street. Yeah, something happened to aid him. He's shot on the street. Do you text her, I follow up with say there's so much blood and then turn your phone off? Call your, call your Floyd. Call your Floyd? Okay.

Can I make a hard read of what she'll. Wait, no, she can't. She's at work. I can't. Oh, right. But. They'll hit her. By DeHard Reid, she would first say, I don't know, because bitch hates deciding.

And then second, she would say, I can cook. And I'd be like, that sounds lovely. But she wouldn't suggest going out. Right. I think I said this on the bar before. I was talking to Nick's girlfriend. And I like picked her up from somewhere and we were going to go somewhere and meet, everyone.

And we're talking in the car. And it's like one of the rare times me and her have just talked. And she, we're talking about like life and stuff. And she's like, yeah, I cooked dinner last night. I was like, oh, you cook dinner because I like never do that. This was a couple years ago. And then she's like, yeah, I think I've cooked dinner for most of my meals for most of my life. And I was like, what?

I like almost stopped the car. Yeah. I was like, what? Who does that? Now she's kind of worried that she did something wrong. And she's like, that's not totally normal to deal. And she was like, what? What's wrong with that?

And I'm like, nobody does that. She's like, they don't. I think most people do. Many do, I've learned. Before some fuck says you're out of touch, you were always like this. I truly was always like this. You were always like this.

In the $200 room. Because I didn't cook it. I didn't prepare anything. I would get the beans from the can and you open the can and eat it out of the bowl. The can is a bowl. Which just isn't cooking. It's not cooking.

I eat whatever it came. If you allowed me to ask the question, if we went out to dinner tonight, what would you want? I might get sushi out of her. Okay. Like a texture? There's a universe.

There's a universe where I get sushi in that year. But if I say, what do you want to eat? It's going to be a cooking night. What is NL? Why did this come up? Women love sushi. That's the, that's just the crux of the...

Foyler sushi. That's what NL said. That's a good impression. It was NL. He's playing CS2. He was 3,000 rated at the time. And he goes, Foilu's soup.

And Dan Geasling's like, they don't just love sushi. I'm not. call my girl right now. And then he bounces a nade off a wall and it hits it. It lands in the visor of his CT and he goes, oh, I love when he does anything in that game and he goes,

like he's dodging the bullets. He's like kind of the only player I know that does that. I did that the other night. Ludwig was in pit on Inferno. He has one HP. He's thrown a grenade up. He's like lobbing it. And I'm watching him and I'm like doesn't kill me. And it didn't.

You actually threaded the needle. It's so cute. I watch you, I watch you come in the chat. You've been gaming offline. Yeah. You pop into Slimes chat because I was watching already. And you just say, Papa, Papa. Yeah, I was depressed. I went to game, Papa.

I had a shit game and he comes in. He lifts my spirits. And then he goes dark because he has to talk to his girlfriend, which is totally fine. Sometimes cutie comes in and I, and I, and you know, it's a game. So I take out the headset. And she goes, are you free? I go, it's a game.

This is just a game to me. Just a game. I'm talking to him. We're playing. the game. I'm like, me and Ludwig, Shaq and Cull, we're here, bro. I broke his shit. I go, Ludwig, buy me MP9. He starts just looking away.

By me MP9, he leaves the spawn. I'm like, oh my. Whole time, I'm like, babe, it's just a game. Chill, boy, I don't care about this. Now I'm holding door with a Glock or the USP, hoping that this isn't my time. Yeah. And then, did you continue watching that stream by Chance Aden? I actually left when you two started playing together Really? Really? You don't know Do you know what happened? Yeah, I started hate watching the boys, so I have no idea what happened

Do you really know what I don't know what happened? No Well what happened? Volume please pull oh I thought you were pulling on my clutch no Oh, okay well I did I get this one Joooo poot ju-bo do do do do do do Duba do do What do you think he's doing there? I watched his face anamorph in real time.

Oh my God. And this is the music playing on the stream. Yeah, and you just got Red 4 Tim staring at this guy. Dude, no way. Yeah, this was my first solo swatting. I wanted to congratulate you, by the way, on being as famous as Ludwig now. Please, zipper.

Can you play what happens after So prepared Come on, give me that shit Just instantly opens a case Tries to spin up some good shit Dude And then I fucking, I'm feeling bad for my boy So I'm like I'll crack one of my boss in colognes

For you And it's just it's just the whitest Crack the stinkiest No It was really terrible It was a horrible And that's a $1,500 It was like a point for where

When you crack open the Uber Eats bag It's only Only the shit everyone else ordered. Yeah. You're like, where's mine? And, well, with that one, it's more like Beatles. It was like a P90 that is like, it's a color tier that doesn't exist anymore. Okay, I'll protein.

Below blue. But yeah, it was very sweet actually. Ludwig felt he was like, let me cheer you up. You know, let me crack one of these things. And then I was like, let's play another. That'll, because he was going to play another. I'll play with you. Horrible game.

Dude, it was fucked up because he'd be spectating me. And he, but he didn't know he was speculating. Oh my god. So all like, I was like pop flashing out to like do something and it, I died to an op like from fucking library and he's like, this is a worst flash ever seen in my life. He's like, fuck is this guy doing it.

No, he literally said it. He said, there's a worst flash ever seen in my life. And I was like, thanks, bro. He's like, oh my God, I didn't know expecting you. Dude.

And I was like, oh, okay. Dude. Can you do? Because I usually chat shit to slime about like I'm one of the fucks on her team. I just did it in that moment realized because I was like just died and swapped POVs that it was slime.

Yeah, it was great. Sounds like a grave. It wasn't that bad of a flash. Did they explain? It wasn't. That was what I was missed about. It was just because it flashed your teammate, but it didn't flash the Moto guy because it went behind the fucking... You can't even flash library. It doesn't matter. I'm not saying it's an easy flash. I'm just saying that's what happened. Doesn't matter.

Did they explain this time around what the, what the threat the call was? It was really interesting. So it was of the many times I've been swatted, but my first solo experience. Solo J-O-I adventure. Officer, here's my wallet! Talking about being swatted like it's your first time on a sex cruise.

So we put the pineapple outside of the door and we got a knock. So basically it was ultimately a very mild one. So I'm playing and I just hear like an insane slam on my door. Like a human made slam and I'm like and my place is pretty small

so I'm like oh shit what the fuck that and I thought it was like a crazy man trying to kill me that's my first initial thought yeah because it's just big slams at the door um you can play this zipper so this is just for audio for you guys but it's like there's like seven cops and yep one one kick oh he fails it boom oh that's too bitch I'm gonna add one more one more boom and then oh it's unlocked no way fucking did they break it It's so funny

They didn't try the door They are so stupid If it's locked Are they allowed to just break your shit in? Of course They broke the ceiling of your house Well that was after they went in Remember what happened the last

The last swatting Yeah Was when just me and you were home Right Yeah they were inside We also just had the door unlocked They were gonna break it open It's just so weird

They bring like a little battery words can convince them to just break it up. Why do they never check? They could have just checked. Why don't they ever check? It's really interesting. I mean, to be fair, okay, so it happens, right? And by like the third giant slam that you guys saw, I'm already out there.

And I'm kind of tensed up. I'm like, am I going to have to fight a guy? I'm going to get killed right now. What can you do? Let's make this shit happen. And instantly a bunch of cops spill into my house. And I'm right there in the living room. I'm in my one-piece basketball shorts.

and I'm just standing there in a McDonald's T-shirt and they're immediately like put your fucking hands up and I'm like gun probably and simple protocol like turn around but they were very efficient and they clear the house I think they instantly realized like this is a swatting and so they

bring me outside and they're like yeah he's a fucking he's a live streamer and then they were actually kind of knight One of them apologized. It was crazy. I know. They never apologized. Makes me so fucking mad.

Hold on. It was a culture shock. It was neck of the wood. Yeah? Our old neck of the wood is all 50 year old plus rich ass Asian dudes. Yeah. They never heard of a live streamer. Yeah.

Yeah. And I guess they see a bunch of young people hanging out in a house. They're like, there must be cooking, crack and killing people. And nowadays, like, those cops are probably all fans of Lose. So they get it. Los fans. Yeah.

Couple of my guys probably did watch some fucking dope-ass love streams. They're watching Loz. They're watching burnt peanut. You know, I know the problem isn't where we were, though. It's just like how stupid the cops are. I remember distinctly when that one time we got spotted where, when we were coming out there, they have like, you know, snipers on us or whatever. And they're like, come on, come out, come out.

And they're like, yeah, so what's the last guy's name in there? I'm like, oh, it's Anthony. And they're like, oh, it's really close to our call. And they were so much rougher with you. Interesting. Like the way a child would process, like, what's going on. Yeah, yeah, the man in there. his name's Anthony. So that's similar

to Andrew, which is what we got called to you. And they're like, get on the fucking crowd! Dude, they... So what do they think that you were in there, killing people, and we're all in there totally fine, not complicit. Might as well be gentle with us. Then when you come out, it's like, on the fucking crowd, gunned back to your head, fucking riot shield. Dude, I, well, I came

out and they start explaining, they're like, so, uh, yeah, well, you got a call and it said that you, uh, you killed your wife and you had your son in the room, you were going to kill your son. And I was like, I don't have a son. And they're like, yeah, yeah, yeah. A couple more blues in that case.

I might have, officer. And then one of the guys, it was so funny, they were like, he was, oh my God, by the way, M4A1 unsilenced, that's what bro was rocking. Really? Yeah, I was like. I cracked that yesterday. Well, I was like, if you shoot me in there,

I don't have a helmet right now, so I do die. Yeah. Obviously, what's to float on that. And so, and he, one guy was like, he's like, we actually take this really seriously. you know, we're, we get into content, we're gonna try to track the person down who did this. And I'm like, okay.

I'm like, I don't know. Maybe this is like a fun one for you. Like, you guys don't know, like, this is impossible to find. Good luck. Good luck getting the British kid that made the phone call. Yeah.

Good luck. They actually found the one who did us last time. Yeah, they did. Yeah. Oh, they found him. No, they pay them $1,000. Yeah, they gave him an award. Nice job, bro.

So yeah, and then, but I can, think now I can be like, hey, this happened to me and I can maybe stop it from happening again. I wonder if it happened because I was in the top of the CS category, which is unfortunate. I think I'll just hide out in just chatting or something from now on. But I'll say this, bro, after they left, my stream's still running, obviously. I'm like, oh, shit. And you kind of have this decision.

I'm like, what do I do? Do I stop stream? Do I fucking this and that? And I was like, I just sat right back. I fucking love live streaming, bro. I love this shit. All I wanted to do was just sit the, fuck back down.

That is the only feeling I had in my head. Did you've changed so much? Well, I've always loved live streaming. I just hate the people in the chat. You did not always love live stream. Why would I do it? I mean, I'm like, same like years ago. Year ago, you don't live dream? No, when I do it, I love, I don't need to do it all the time.

But when I was, when I do it, bro, I was like, this is, eh. I love this shit. I was smoking six. It's when I've always said he has like a studio audience that we can't see that he's performing for. It's when they materialize. They all become real people for a moment. But also not real people.

Yeah, it's a nice, cool, corporeal realm they inhabit, and they post green. I wonder if you'll just get, like, you have a better local police department in that, not that they check the door first, but that maybe when they get the second call, they won't just barge it. Yeah, that's my job to fucking figure that out

and see if they do that, but whatever. That was the real genius of the other neighborhood. was fourth call. They're still coming in. First call, they're locked and loaded. They didn't have, like, on the fourth call, they didn't have the helicopter anymore, I guess. I think if they got, I think if they got,

I think if they got back to the station right after they swatted us, and they got another call, they'd be like, what, really? We were just there. Let's go! Let's go! We need way more backup.

Dude, I think that's the worst thing from the other ones is, because the first couple times at the helicopter circle, and my, My beats per minute still skyrocketed if a helicopter's... Yeah. That never left me either.

When there's a helicopter overhead, I go, I might... Even I'm not even live. I'm like, I might be getting swatted. Yeah. I get really nervous when I hear a helicopter for more than like a minute at a time. Yeah, I just went back in. Blood was ice cold, bro. Dude, the universe hates you, bro.

Why do you not crack gold there? I know! It would have been crazy! There is someone out there who's cursing you following you around. Imagine that shit. it was right there You cracked a goal the other day But I mean

Yeah It would have been great I said it too I said it would be great What were you'll ask gold Ludwig My shitty ugly ass Rusted Bowie knife Oh the one you use

Yeah I like that I use what I get Use what you get I use every part of the bone Yeah That's right every part of the Buffalo piece It cost me a thousand

For that $80 knife Yeah mine cost me A lot too And that's good EV That's a good return On investment anyway what would you guys do I guess I was fucking fighting

I called in a swat against this bot frying my game CS go bro or CS but that's where they I genuinely think it's just like you know an international audience that's like ooh

a juicy a juicy one Adam to me to ask you this all week not worry about you yeah yeah you worry about me what's your relationship with like God high protein right now and we'll ask about God

directly after. Sorry, that's a follow-up. What's your relationship with high protein right now? High protein? Yeah, what are you getting? What are you eating? I mean, I'm probably eating like

one gram of protein a day. Really? One gram a day. One gram of protein in a day. They take him to eat your weight. Yeah, he's been eating boy slop. There's no grocery store near me.

I'm not gonna cook. And also, my cards don't work so I don't buy. What if I told you there was a way to just have a ready to drink? supply of your high protein. Look at his try. Damn! Genetics? There's literally a face.

There's a face in them that you can see. It's impossible. I got Professor Quill in my fucking arm, that try. That's the Hewled difference. Hewles are ready to drink, drink that has 35 grams of protein, 27 essential vitamins and minerals, Aiden, and guess what? No artificial sweeteners, colors, or flavors. Which I know historically you love, but we're trying

to change it because the red 40 is starting to seep through your eyes. It's a complete meal you can grab on the go and has a busy guy like me. You're a busy business guy that's probably why you're eating. You're also a busy guy, bro. 35 times the amount of protein that I get a day in one cup. It is. It should also be more than that.

But let's get you started. Protein is supposed to be hard because it's hard to get it all in cooked food. This makes that easy. For you, you just eat only one gram. I'm not really sure. This is what one gram does. There's just no protein involved in that equation. What a ghastly.

You're ghastly. What a middle gutter. You have the middle gutter. It's so wide. Why is it so wide? Because it's one gram. Well, for a limited time, get Hewled today with an exclusive offer of 15% off online with code yard 15 at huel.com slash yard 15 that's new customers only

and thank you to huel for partnering and supporting our show we'll get you right bro because technically from what you've told us you should be dead i'm hungry all the time yeah i know we'll get you right you will get you right let's go back to the episode i don't want to be hungry anymore you know what i did actually i actually forgot about the story right now i went to this some piss slime off. What, bro? I went to a fucking puppet show. Oh.

It's real shit. Well, because he says that first, I'll give you some space to describe a little bit more about the puppet show before. And sort of strategize that. Did he went to a puppet show? Yeah, in Highland Park. Oh, my God. There's the, no, this is a famous play, Bob Baker's Marionette.

You've probably seen it. Was it next to the home state? Across from Comquat. Yeah. It happens to be there. Kind of near the home state. It happens to be. Near the home state.

No, yeah. The search interstack at some point. No, my girlfriend's cousin was in town. They really want, apparently it's like world famous. They wanted to go. I was like, I'm down. I walked by everything. It is.

World famous. I call up my boy Lee, and he says, oh, yeah. Highland Park, the puppet show. Okay, I'm right here, but you're probably, maybe it's not like world famous like Kobe. Well, I'm going to say, when we talk about world famous, we think about Drake. They were at like Coachella.

They were at like Coachella. Yeah, in California still. Okay, God, they'd be a big place. Would they go to South by? I don't know. I don't know what music will.

It's not music playing. It's not the Olympics. Okay. It's not world famous. This is easier? Doesn't it. It sounds, it sounds regional famous.

It's like, it's like a, it's like an LA landmark. A regional landmark. They raised like five million dollars to stay in LA. Okay. Dr.

Lupo numbers. Yeah. Well, he's world famous. That's a bad example for you. Yeah, he is real famous. Anyway, I went to it. And it was lit.

Oh, I like that. I like this. gonna suck ass I don't want to do this today. It was so awesome. The puppet show. It was it was crazy. Hey, hey okay. It was crazy. Yeah, sounds like I'm It's the most offensive posture he's ever. The body language is... I wonder what. It's because sometimes he hangs out a zipper two and he always just says the most normie shit ever and then he comes back and he's like the normie shit was kind of lit. Yeah, that's

normal and adjusted to do like like this is gonna be normie shit and then enjoy your I think it's tough for me because I didn't go and he's like I don't even know what normally shit is I can't see it if you guys want to have coffee no no it's more it's more I feel beaten like a talk so when you come and you're vulnerable for a moment I want to be violent yeah it's a cycle of abuse what would you have to do after did you play some fucking Mario party with them so dinner and free-for-all dinner no no party dinner actually was floated as an idea though I'm not kidding we got dinner you guys see my fucking

steak. I think they have the best looking steak of all time. It killed. Dude, I did some mortgage it too. I went to a, uh, you know, Sammy breakfast. He had like, I thought it was his birthday. He invited me a month ago. He's like, it's my 100 follower, 100 Facebook followers celebration. I'm like, okay, an ironic gathering that is cover for your birthday. And it's, I get there. And I go because I like Sammy a lot, even though socializing wears me out, but I go. And I get there and he's like, it's not my birthday. And I'm like, that's crazy. Bring a gift. He's just, No, I didn't bring a gift. But it was just a re-he's like, I'm trying to challenge myself to, you know, get people together

and stuff. Anyway, I get shit from you guys all the time. Wish you could have seen it. I wish you could have seen it. Because I said, today, I'm going to be electric man. And I was fucking a-life. To be clear. I was a life.

You're going to continue getting shit from us. I was a life. We're all aware of us. We're trying to get you to hang out for so long. And then a guy who has breakfast in his name is able to summon you. It makes me for worse. You think that we think you can't be electric. We know you can be.

We invite you out to have that. But when we invite you out, you're demon. What demon? Come on. Yeah, because when you invite me out, it's always some fucking cuck live streamer that's fucking broken inside. Sammy's a normal guy.

He plays poker for a living. His name is Sammy Breakfast. None of that's normal. And we all believe that he's real. We know you hung out with him. I think it says something about my life that you said, you said breakfast and I was like

which breakfast? Like I know three people named breakfast. Oh that's right. Yeah. Where I have to be like which one was it? That is funny. Imagine we show up at breakfast's house. But yeah, I go and I was like and instantly there was this lovely, as you would call them.

There's a lovely gentleman. Lovely. So you have no baggage with that word. You don't? Well you used it last time to describe two lovely men at the Patreon event. They were lovely! Because not because? Oh, there's gay people. I didn't even clock it.

I didn't even clock it. You can be gay and not lovely. Name one person. Name one, unlovely gay. Name one unlovely gay. James Charles. Mylonopolis. I'm sure he's lovely in some settings. Ben Shapiro. Closet, closet. So I walk by, I'm looking for Sammy,

and it's this big outside bar and there's this young gay gentleman getting a hug and someone's like oh my god happy birthday and it's his birthday and so I find Sammy

I'm like hey nice to see you bro there's a birthday going on here we should talk we should I don't want to encroaching on the event and I'm saying this as a bit Sammy's like yeah let's go talk to him I'm like okay

because I'm in I'm in electricity mode so I'm like come on and I go up to this guy and there's like seven people oh wow and I'm like hey hey what's your name his name's like Jeremy it's like hey nice to meet you

we're also having a thing and I ran this bit that we were like let's not make the Venn diagram like let's not overtake each other in vibes and shit and a tribute to how lovely this man was he's instant like oh my god I'm a triplet

I can stack events no problem it's gonna be fine So you accosted a gay man I didn't accost him I did business I negotiated with a gay man and then so we go back and Sammy's like bro why did we that I was terrified.

And I'm like, you're not about it, bro. I'm not about it either, by the way. We're including that information. I still, I start, you know, as the night goes on, more people show up on our side and more people show up on Jeremy's side for his birthday. Jeremy is a wonderfully popular person, apparently. And I'm like, ooh, if it came down to it, we could take, we could fight all these

guys. And Sammy's like, yeah, we could probably fight all these guys. End of the night, it's like 30 jacked dudes on the other side. And we got the straight up event mugged. Yeah. If it came to a brawl, we were just nice on that. It's the buff and gay discord meetup. Yes, it's the buff and gay discord meet up.

I don't know why you thought you would beat him. Well, at time, we had sheer numbers. But the gay man physique. Well, numbers goes a long way. True. It's numbers. It's one gay gorilla versus 100 straight guys. The 100 straight guys probably won.

Anyway, I did that Saturday. I asked Nick to go when he was hanging out, damn Floyd. I was my full. I took my foot to cheesecake on Saturday. Fuling them. So I didn't have to do it. It was take your foid to cheesecake Saturday. Don't say that.

It was. Don't say I didn't have to. No, I didn't say that. It was take your foid to cheesecake Saturday. Where did you guys go? Which cheesecake did you go? No one downtown. No, actually she got tired because we hiked.

And I had a Branzino with Diet Coke. He's big on Branzino now. Is that Branzino now? He doesn't fucking stop fucking eating them. I just go. If I'm at a place that I kind of have to be at for meals, I just get the Branzino. You know?

She's been ordering Branzino for like fucking one year now. It's good. It's a huge thing. You're just eating it. It's a lot of bones. The bones don't bother me. Well, sometimes the bones bother me. I really hate the bones.

Sometimes I welcome the bones. Give me the Branzino a hold of bones. Can you do that? No. I would do that every time if I could. Could I get the Branzino have a boy take the bones out for me? Could you take it? Can I have a buser?

Stop what he's doing? Whoever is the youngest at this establishment? Pick the bones out. Give the boy walking. with only the Brandzino bones. Fill him with Brandino bones. Have him walk around. That's what I saw. I did my, I did my social debt. I did nothing. I did no socialness at all.

You didn't take her to cheesecake? No. No. Well, I know. That was the day that years of no cheesecake. It only comes around once. No cheesecake for us. It's a, it's a biannual holiday. I've been baking. That's what I do now. You bake. I've been baking. That's fun. I bake. What do you bake? I bake gluten-free cookies. I bake regular cookies. I bake bananas. I bake banana. Anna bread. I think this week is scones. For fun, like, is she helping you? No. Solo, Dolo.

Interesting. She critiques after it. So that much. She said, I don't wait long, but you said, I think this week is scones. But I haven't made it yet. But you're following something. No, I've just whatever my heart desires. My heart last night was like, scones. Did you see a TikTok? Where did this come from? To bake? Yeah. Well, my girlfriend's dog died tragically. And I've been baking for her as a way to maybe have a brightness spot dinner day. Okay. That's extremely sweet

Her dog's really sweet Yeah And so I bake a little something Every day Or every week I should say No we hold that thoughts Is every key bring on my photo Yeah my bet

That was on me No you hold that Hold that thought for a second Is every single My photo? Bang Dude you're still fucking on the steak Yeah I don't care

Is it mean to say I don't care Can I say Can I say? Can I say? Can I say? Let me say two things bro First off Color balance

Horrible Oh what? It makes it look. The coriander brings in a lovely lavender aspect. We've got zipper three. Hi, you're on the podcast. Hi. And I, so,

uh, let's go out to dinner tonight. What do you want to eat? I don't know who. You don't know? You can have a, just make her pick. Why do they never know?

Huh? But you get so far away from them. It, but if you had to pick something, what would it be that we would eat? Like, Anything? Oh my God.

Dude. Oh my God. Dude. Dude. Dude. Dude. Dude. Dude.

Dude. I love you so much. Dude. And I'll... Tell her she passed the FOid test. I'm not going to tell her she passed the FOID. Tell her that. Tell her that.

She doesn't know what that is. No, why that's... You know you have to explain. We shouldn't, we shouldn't be saying it and I'm sorry preemptively. I'm... I love you. why everything's gonna be okay

bye now bye wow these bitches love sushi that's crazy what is that and I clocked it and she passed

the foyer desk you have to bring her sushi tonight now I'm gonna maybe text her and say pick up at work important emergency that is a crazy text to send

but then she'll pick up yeah obviously You just say call me at lunch, bro. It's about brunch right now. That's fucking crazy. I didn't think, I thought there was maybe like a 10% chance she'd say that.

Cudy's not a sushi head. I know this. No. She is a Mexican gal. Cudy doesn't lie like raw. Raw meat. Don't. Well,

what? Hold on. What is it? She doesn't like, she's going through a lot. Why the fuck you are talking about her like that? She doesn't like raw meat. Fish.

Why are you making it meat? Why are you opening up? Probably does it as... Who likes raw? We'll eat some raw chicken. What are you talking about? Uh-huh. He would.

He would. Are you kidding me? If he's Swedish. Yeah, if they, if they served raw chicken on a skewer, and then they squeeze lime on it. Oh my God. And they said, It's a special chicken dish on.

It's a chicken dish. And then he would eat a rod now. You have to eat for your visa. He would eat the chicken dish and then he'd be like, it's chewy and sour. It's chewy and sour. No, I like it. I like it.

It's Swedish. I like it. No, no, you can finish it. You can take it. No, it's really good. And it's cool. It's because like it's a cultural dish and the Swedish way. It's like, yeah, it's a cultural dish.

Welcome to be bored right now. Why don't be bored? That's what they sound like. They don't sound like. They sound like, they sound like. They sound like that. And the waiters in Sweden all have a cut out where their penis and balls are. And they just hang out.

They're like elephant trunks. Because that's because it's such a free culture. And we have babies outside, bro. Yep. They all have an apron, but their cock hangs below the apron. You can see the tip of my fish head. Do you like the chicken dish and dish? They call their penis a fish head.

Bitch head. You can take it with it. Don't you have to tip me, by the way? Every part of this is. It smells like Sue's throwing right now. Have you tried that yet? Soostroming? Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, it's not too bad. When did you try it? In what context? I tried it at mid-summer. That's crazy. Did you try it with like bread and potato and... Yeah, it took a bite of the stinky fish by itself and then I...

And then I made... Did you like it? Huh? Did you like it? I liked it a little bit. Dude, of course he did, bro. You are literally honest. I like, I like stinky fish. Don't he, don't you can't even stand against me.

You like stinky fish? I'm not. That's why I said as long as you're on. He doesn't like that's tinky fish. I don't think I would like that, but if he tried it. If he tried it, I think you would like it. It's not good. There's no redeemable quality to it.

Yeah, you're, you tried it as, but you got to like, shipped over. I guess it's cam. I tried it growing up too. I love the stinky fish. You would like fucking sounding if it was invented in Sweden. True. That's what it feels like. Are we crazy for thinking that? It's like sounding for your mouth. What I love more than Sweden? It looks. I just think I think

it's pathetic to be a guy born in America obsessed with another country and just like everything that's from that country just because it's from there. You know what? Ludwig's got a point. Why are you like that Aiden? If it was show hey Lardson you would be the biggest fucking

sueyaboo it's sueyaboo well yeah Shohay Larson and he's just a seven foot Looking God Shohey Soug up

Sog up Back it up Larson's at bat He really just has become a Counterstrike player instead Like you know It's not baseball That's just their national sport

Yeah Is donk Swedish No he's Russian The Swedes fell off in Counterstrike That's not crazy My girl failed the girl test. What'd she say? Maybe Italian or some sort of Mexican cuisine?

Mexican, a Mexican gal. Mine's a Mexican gal too. Really? Kitty is a Mexican gal. By Mexican gal, I mean, she is too much with the sauces. Four pounds of chips and salt. She has no food. She hates the sauces. Oh, so she's a bird bird-like eater. Yeah, she would love

to eat just chips and salsa and then feel bad about it after. Yeah. Yeah. I've seen her order many a salad, no dressing. Yep. no dressing. You really hate sauce.

I think about it a lot. Whenever I get a sauce, I think about her. But then there's things that are very sauce-like. She really does not have an issue with it. It's not in the sauce category for her. It's not in the sauce-case. What does she like?

What does she like that is sauce-adjacent? Like she'll eat ketchup with fries. Really? Yeah, it's weird, man. But she hates... I poured out ketchup onto cardboard to dip, and she's like, that's gross. Interesting.

No, I feel that. Sox phobia is real, man. Dan has it badly. Really? Yeah, if you have any amount of sauce that's like out, he'll gag. He looks at a loco moco and shoots himself. If you want to make Dan throw up on his keyboard immediately. Look up a loco moco.

You come in with, oh, dude, it's so, it's so gravy. A loco moco is delicious, but it's the sauciest dish I can think of. This is fine. It's a little saucy slop fest. More curry-like, I feel like, in texture. Does Dan hate curry? No, he's fine with that. But if you came in with a bucket of ketchup, you filled a bucket with ketchup.

No one likes it. a bucket of ketchup. He would throw up immediately. Okay. He has a phobia. I think, though, there is a kernel of humanity in there where a bucket of ranch dressing is somehow kind of gross, right? Even to the most normal person. That makes me... It's a... Being poured on man. Being poured on man.

Can you send that to Dan in DMs? Oh, my God, please. And then can you just tell us what he eventually replies? And we'll get to it. He trusts you, too, Zipper. Wait. What? He trusts you, funny. So ketchup? Ketchup just gets a pass?

I'm saying she has some passes It's on cardboard I get that Sometimes the cardboard feels like it seeps in Your sauce gets a pass for some reason Really? Yeah I think it's mostly mayo based sauces You know she wouldn't fuck a Thousand Island

I feel that Really just a mayo hater I mean have you ever left out Like ranch or something a little bit Long and that's gross right So what is it about this form of a thing we like That it gets gross eventually You know I think a sauce's diet

It's actually amazing Is what Because it's amazing What is sorry? I missed the way. A sauce is A sauce is amazing. A sauce is amazing. I also don't know. A sauceless diet. A sauceless diet's amazing. I was hard a fight's amazing. I think of a stroke, man. A saucer diet's amazing. I see your pupils, please.

It's amazing. A sauceless diet is amazing. Yeah, I guess it's probably just good. There's so much calories housing the sauce. The sauce houses a tremendous. It hides thousands of calories. A tremendous amount of calories. What are you supposed to do about that? But you're a fucking pig. We were talking about this. You're a sauce pig. He's a ranch pig. He's a ranch pig. You can't eat pizza without ranch.

I think I think ranch pizza heads are like genuinely should be shot. I genuinely think that. Straight up put in a camp where you have to dig holes. Kill everyone in California. Kill all of us because we all do it. Sure. California gone. My mom's here. I'm cool with that.

Does your mom, does your mom eat pizza with ranch? I think I think that dusty pitch could have cracked down on some ranch. Sorry. She literally, I saw her the other day. He was like, be nice to me on the podcast.

I listened to it to me. Yeah. I like contribute to her life daily. You don't contribute anything to her life. I never call her dusty bitch in my life. I have but never to her. Or on the pod. And I'm gonna keep it that way.

Because I like ranch on pizza. Yeah, I think ranch pizza people are gross. You're bit of a ranch, you're a ranch pig. I love it. I'll defend that. Would you call yourself

on a ranch pig? Would you go ahead? In the comments, what percentage of people do you think like ranch on pizza? versus down. 10% max. 10% max.

Just do it. Just to be clear. Like it is all I care about. I feel like even if it were 80% I would still think it's wrong. I don't. That's fair.

I like that about you. I don't share these extreme values. I think if you like ranch on pizza, whatever, I think you're a ranch pig. And I want you to oink if you think you're a ranch pig. I feel like you have the extreme view. He wants to kill 80% of people.

I want to kill them. They're both extreme in different ways. I think you're a pig. You want me to oink for you. Because of a conversation about food. Which one is the worse? I think you, I just want you to admit. I just want you to say that it's weak of you.

Dude, that's it. That's it. Yeah, that's what I'm trying to say. You want me, I'm weak about food. You're just, you're weak. To me? Yeah, to you. What do you have on me?

Is it going to tell me to work. I'll eat anything. Tell you. You'll take a break to see the sunlight. I'll eat gruel. You don't even take a lunch break at work. Which I kind of respect. Oh, so I work too hard?

No, you don't work at all. I work too hard. It's Counterstrike on that monitor. I'm fracking out. It's countershank on the monitor and a bento box on the desk. Lord help me. Lord help me if I don't frag, this company will fall apart. We are horrible, aren't we?

Plus four? Well, how you say this? None of us can fucking cook. No. We're 30 plus all of us. I can. I just don't care. Do you?

Yeah, I got a idea. He's got his one gross fucking dish that he never cleaned. Spaghetti and meat all the time. It's not spaghetti. What? Aiden can't cook shit. Wait, you can't cook either I made a soup

I can make a minestrone soup So why are you trying To come in and say you can I mean I'm a little different I guess Dude remember his chicken ramen Oh my God yeah I still think about it Chicken noodle soup

That was great That was the worst shit I was terrible I actually think you're the worst You know I think you're the worst cook of the group Why? Because I think you don't care What happens

I think you don't care what it tastes like You don't understand You think I don't care what it takes With him I'm getting a Denny's spaghetti, and I can deal with that. You know, I signed up for that. With you, it's like, I'm Ludwig, I'm cooking. Oh my God, you're in for the best peak experience of your life.

But you straight up, don't fucking care what it tastes like. What are you talking about? I care what it tastes like? You're a ramen. Your pizza. Oh, my God. You're a kind of pizza mogs these days. You've been baking shit.

Cuddy's giving you notes. Yeah, I'm sure it's not stellar. When she tastes something you baked, she's like, um, it's good. Ask me if there's any cookies left. cookies. Okay, that's actually a good sign. Would she throw them out? Not fucking one.

I ate them all. Point remains, someone liked them. Wait, my idea, my idea. So we know how we try to book club and it went extremely well. We kept reading books and we never quit. We should do a cooking club where we cook for the others and slime starts. I don't want to do this at all. No, I have a better idea. So we did this.

Hold up. We, let's not lie to each other. We did this. It didn't work. We did try to do this once. We did. We did this. We did. We all did.

We talked about. This is why we did the chicken robber. This is why it exists. Oh, like we make the meal for everyone. Yeah, this lasted about a week and a half. This is ancient.

I don't even think everybody got a meal in. I swear to God, I don't remember cooking. It didn't get to me. No, we all got one. We all got one. I don't know if you got one. We all made it to one.

I swear. I don't know. I don't think I did one. I made one. I made one. I think it was two, and then I don't think people liked mine. What was yours?

Oh no, hold, I'm, mine's coming up. What did you for? Fuck you, because you were coming at me. I don't, like you. Well, what did you make? I made, uh,

I made pasta. No, he wouldn't be able to cook. I mean, I mean, it's me and you. I love it. I made a, I made a lemon sauce.

Where is he from to say pasta? I made a lemon sauce. And where in the world would he have to say pasta? Let's do a fucking cooking show. I mean, I made, I made pasta. Master chef.

It's like when Liam says Mario. I'm saying, I'm saying, we do a cooking show. All right. we have to cook a fucking dish we have a judge come in and we just cook it from your balls

yeah like just raw insane yeah you're not like looking up a fucking recipe are we all given the same dish I feel like that's kind of important I think we all have to use a special ingredient I think chopped is one of the best formats of all time what is that one again I watch it but it's been a special ingredient okay it's like you have a list of things you have to incorporate

make the dish it's just one special ingredient and sometimes it's like Twizzlers bitch figure it out which is kind of fun I heard through the grape fine around this place which is an actual vine that I crawl around like a monkey, that you have a new co-C-O and you hired Cam. Weird choice.

He has no experience in doing any of the things you do. And we also learned that he didn't know how to renew an Adobe license. That's true. Well, he's a young man. He's handsome and he's fast. And that's why we use Quo. Can you tell me more? What the hell is Quo? How is that related? Well, it's spelled QUO, guys.

What is the smarter way to run my business communication? And I told Aiden, we need a, I said one thing to focus on this here, comms. I want to up the comms. But Cam, Cam has all sorts of little necklace and little rings and like 17 devices, the message you want. How are you going to contact him on all those different devices? Well, Cam's ability to run quickly makes it so he passes messages between people quickly. He's been a- And the only way for you to capture that speed of messaging across all the different platforms of communication we use

is to consolidate them in one place with quo. The number one rated business phone system They got over 90,000 companies So now we make it 90,000 one And you guys have a business Yes, we have a business So you're saying I can get my slack messages And my cell phone text all in the same spot

What's that message is calls All in one place And I don't know what you're thinking That sounds impossible I was thinking butter Let me ask you some Why do you think Vitality is the best CS2 team on earth

They use quo Genetics When they're calming They use quo They send a slack message They're rushing B and they get it faster than everyone else and pops up in Quo

it pops up easily in Quo and and and it's so easy it's oh wow Say Wu it's so easy makes this year where no opportunity

and no customer slips away try Quo far free plus it's 20% off the first six months when you go to Quo.com slash the yard quo no miss calls

no miss customers and then we fucking chef it up and then we see who can fucking drop shit because I feel like I dead ass can make a rue. So we rent we rent like a plate like a kitchen. And then we do a stream where we all compete making different dishes. Yeah. And it's judged by

and it's judged by fucking awesome creators. Yep. I like Austin show. This is a good idea. I don't think this is Nathan Stan's like people who need this. And then we feed them our food. Okay. Like Austin show Nathan Stan. Yeah. And the funny part is sometimes like Loki bad and they're like But sometimes it's like, that's pretty good. Surprisingly good.

Maybe multiple days. Multiple days. Multiple days. At first I was thinking, maybe let's do eliminations. But I'm thinking actually in the long run, we'd probably regret that. For the stream, we probably want them to come back each day. Yeah, it's better to not do eliminations. And squeaks, not allowed.

No, sweaks can't come. No squeaks. He hasn't been pissing me off. Gweak? Pissing me off. How? Did you do that? How could squeaks fit you off?

Pissing me off, man. He's too... Too much with the phone. Too relaxed. He is. Too relaxed. Jump in. Finally, you get it.

Jumann, do you understand this is how we feel about you? Is how we always felt about you? I'm always high strong. No, you're not. He's waiting to release. It's weird. I'm getting upset.

I can blow it anymore. Can you just promise me that when you finally do blow and you will... I always high strong. The company cooperating for you can be there. When I blow, I promise you'll be there. I'll say, come to work tomorrow. Come to work tomorrow. Company celebration.

Come to work. Don't wear any gear. I need everyone there. The mogul moves wall to wall massacre. Oh, did you hear about Jared Mogle?

Jared Mogle. You get it. Because your profile picture. Do you get it? You're Jared Mogle. That's fucking funny. It's gone now. I switched it.

What? He's childish. Childish. It doesn't a picture he's done. Would Jared Fogel was done? No,

what Jared Mogle did. Would Jared Mogle? God. Jared Mogul protected the kids. He fought. That's what people don't know. And he was a billionaire. He fought and died protected. Ethical billionaire. Dude, you should do what you release a lot of merch. Next time you do a pants release, you should do the Jared Fogel like like pants pictures where he's holding the jeans up on the white on the white silk screen. Like the opposite and his fat age jarg and he's holding up a small pair of jeans.

I used to fit these. I used to fit these. Now I'm a whale. This is an excellent idea This is my better ones I can't be upset This week's man I've been letting him down Why you just been choking your games I can't

I'm on the worst I'm on the worst Lost streak Since that blackjack night What are you at With Mago and Void I'm I've gone from Keep in mind

I peaked 24K this season Yeah But I've been around 22 For most of it And I'm now almost 18 I'm 18 Dude we're close I'm 18

That is how many games I've lost I see this this and you know I think we all take pride in our gaming finesse and I'm glad you brought it up because I wanted to ask you what's the fuck's going on I see the leaderboard I see you just dip I don't know it's it's been so bad I'm taking a break I'm like I don't want to play what's all same you swapped your mouse pad out aha uh that what is it the tens wooden keyboard maybe tens has let me down maybe it's a mouse I thought tens was going to win me games 10s will win you games I have no All the gear is good.

So that means it's just... It's just you. It's just me. What a terrible realization to come through. I went to squeeze his chat and I was like, Squeak, so it's one thing. I had to ask him like four times because he doesn't fucking re-chat.

I felt like a childish pussy. And yeah, I'm like, squeak, so it's one thing I can do to improve at CS right now. He's like, slime, honestly, I watch you play, I watch your games. You should just like 100 DM frags every day, which basically is saying you're bad at aiming and mechanics. You don't have ours.

It's just a classic And I was like Okay, bye, thank you man While we're on topics Squeaks is the worst Of all the people we know who streams To go in as a friend And get your dope from

The worst, bottom the list Yes, absolutely, yeah, he doesn't give you shit I go in, I type a little funny quip About something he's doing He goes, Falco It's the worst I'm like, that's what I get For coming here

And saying something nice to you Oh God My username I feel like he doesn't even read Chat that much No he doesn't I don't read I want

What do you think the secret sauces? Because when most people stream a game like Counter Strike, their viewership felled off. It crashes a bit. But when Squeak streams Counterstrike, he magically retains his viewership, I feel like. And it's a dumb question. And he doesn't interact with his spears.

Yeah, Ian, thanks for that dumb question. Very stupid. Lovely, why is it dumb? Let me follow up. Why is it dumb? Okay, most people when they stream league, bad viewership. Yeah.

Tyler won when he streams league. viewership's pretty good. Huge penis. You think he didn't get known for streaming Counterstrike. Counterstrike has been his main game, his whole career. Yeah, but he didn't come to prominence from streaming counterstrike. He always had it there, you know what I mean? So it's like if you give a baby rum to fall asleep

from zero to to fucking 21, guess what that baby's going to grow up to? Someone who likes drinking rum. And rum is CS2 and babies are his viewers. Is it not Mario 64? I also think Mario is also part of it and that's the vodka in this analogy. It's the other thing. This baby's getting fucked up. Oh I guess that works like other Squeaks is a guy you can trust as a viewer to be funny no matter what he's playing and it

also helps that he's pretty good at CounterStrike. He's not like me fumbling through the game and you're watching him for different reasons. I think you try to send cops a shoe in the head. A little fun little game play. He's also potentially getting a little not they don't he's not He's not similar to Germa, but Germa can play any game. Yeah. You know? Germa breaks the mold kind of. I don't know the thing as Germa can play in a game.

Germa only plays any game. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe that's part of what you know him for. He plays crazy shit. I'll look at it because I follow like 10 people on Twitch. And I'll like look on the side and German is there and it's playing a game. I'm just like, I don't know what that is.

And he has like 15,000 viewers. Yeah, that he was playing a game where you had to not get caught by your neighbor walking across the street. Oh, that's a great game. Right. So I'm like, it's a German game. And then he got caught, he was like, ah! That game used to be huge.

Who would you select Ludwig for our one streamer? We globally get one. Oh, wow, German's a good pick. Germa's a great pick, I think. German's a good pick. If everyone in the world had to watch Jerma every day, like including people who don't watch them. Like Benjamin Netanyahu had to watch Jermma.

They used to put it in your 20 minutes. Like you have to watch one streamer for everyone. Yes. Los Polo Cove. Chomo Army grows. The Chomo army grows one more time. What? Someone would call ourselves.

One last time. No, Los Chomo Squad. Yes. We all get fades. He hasn't hit me back, by the way. Really? He's not going to hit you back, bro. I mean, you pressed him.

You fucking press him, bro. You're not going to fucking press him. You're not going to press him when you was showing with his girl. I wanted to just talk to him and maybe his girl. Yeah. And that was why you were fucking weird. What if, what if this summer, what if on like July 16th this summer, it's a yard national holiday,

the first yard holiday. And you have to go to your barber and you got to show a picture of love. You gotta say give me this. And we post, we all post our photo about how the barber does our shit. I get a clean cut beard with you know, I'm still working with what I got though. I get it doesn't fill out. It's not the same.

Are you gonna sprayed in? You fade from zero opacity to two opacity? I'm clean shaving on the top. I got two earrings in. I make a field account. What is field? What is field? What is field? What? I don't know.

What's field? Oh, is that like the one where you look for a third? Dude, you're a freak. I'm not, I'm not weird. I'm not weird. I'm just, I'm just a famed. And I bet you already got a field account. You probably do have a field account.

I made one a long time ago. Really? Yeah. That's awesome. I think I don't, I think I don't, and then he goes to Uber driver. He goes, add me on field. By the way.

She's like, what? Just add me on field. And then it's a fight. Ugh. And it's a whole thing. No, I don't want that from Lowe's. In the Uber driver to be a third. I would never disrespect.

Thank you for driving us home. Do you want to have sex with us? I don't know if that fucks with the shift. I don't really know how this works, but I'd love to fuck you. Wait, sorry, how do you pronounce your name? I would love to fuck you. Oh my God, by the way.

Here's my field account and a tip. People, like, on the subreddit and stuff, they always talk about, like, wore the girl's night shirt, got some compliments. Dude, as soon as I walked into that, the security guy took a picture with me. And he wasn't a fan.

Oh, at the... Did he see the back when he asked? No. He just liked the front. He just really liked the front. He took a picture of me and with me with a film camera. Yeah. And I was like, yeah.

And I was like, check out the back. He actually didn't like the back very much. You know, the front codes itself as kind of Normie flop. Okay. Because it's like a, you know, it's like the ironic t-shirt that you would buy on like a Facebook or an Instagram ad.

But it codes itself in the real world. It's like, oh my God. I love your shirt. I get comments all the time. Yeah. And they never care from the back. And you're like, check the back out.

There's irony on it. And they're like, oh. That's what happened. I've been three times. I was so surprised. But it's funny, I think I'm the one different person on this because I'm on the back. So I'm wearing a shirt of my self. It's different for you.

This is like when I wore the shirt. For a long time, I would just wear that shirt that Anthony got me for my birthday where it's me, it's me ordering at a pokey shop just on the front. And I would just wear it. And then people. People usually ordering something They'd be like, is that you? That's so good.

It's just me and a cloth In a cloth mask At like the end of COVID ordering Pokede shop. Jimmy's? Jimmy's Pokede. Dude, did you see that clip? It was actually so fucking funny. An underrated joke,

it's Ron talking to like a clerk at a store And he's like, I'm stable Ronaldo. You watch me ever? He's like, no. And it's just this interaction this guy does not know who he is, does not care, he's actually kind of annoyed this young person. He's like, am I supposed to be like honored or something?

But an underrated joke is Ron because Jason the wind's behind him at the other counter. He's like, you know who Rice Gum is? He's like, no. It's like, that's rice gum. Jason's like, hey. Dude, they do that. They didn't do that for five years.

I just saw it for the first time. That was funny. It was just the timing of it. Instead of Iceman, they call him Rice Man. Okay. I like it. Iceman's the new Drake album. But that doesn't make sense.

Huh? That doesn't make sense at all. Why? Because rice gum is just another Asian guy. No, no, no. Jason Deween dressed up like Drake, and then he said, that's not Iceman, that's Rice Man. I get it. I feel like that's charged.

Do people like Drake? Please discuss amongst yourself. Reply to two people in the thread. The world was better when we all liked Drake. Okay? The world is, hold up, hold on. I'm saying whenever that comes back, because it will. Because goats boomerang.

Goats do boomerang. If this, because he dropped, I don't know if you know this, he dropped three albums in a day. Oh, recently. Yeah, but all three were poop, no? Everyone called it poop. He dropped three albums in a mate. Trisie's back.

Most people called them poop. Dizzy slid. Hey, you're mad. You're mad. No one read my tweet in that voice, but that's how I meant to. Dizzy slid. Hey, you're mad. I said that, I sent a voice message to Hitch, who hasn't shut up about Drake,

who is really knowing about rap, honestly. But, uh, dude, Hitch had Nick Yingley on. Yeah, he did. I love that. But if I said a voice, I should do him, and I'm like, Drizy Schlit, you're mad. He liked it.

Does he like Drake? He loves Drake. He loves Drzy. But how do you feel about when Dodd and Drake were beefing? This is my point, is that he loves Drizzy, he loves Dot, and he loves Cole. Can you pick a goat? You understand? Can you pick a goat?

You have the big three. Choose one. I think this is what I disagree. I see Hitch's rap opinions on the time on, and it's the number one thing I disagree. I'll say that. It's just that he's so, he's so serious. about them. That's the problem. I love what Hitch will like pull up on a tweet with someone

he'll be like, he'll be like, bro, that shit was overheads. Bro, come on, man. Dude, you're a white guy. With the buss and haircut. Hitch, come on, man. I love you. I do. He's so earnest. I mean, he had Nick Yingling on his podcast. You got a mail

set up in the background of your live stream, bro. Can we talk about dot. Do you guys know about Miho? Miho? No. Zumer language has been adapting. And now they're using Mijo. Like Spanish Mijo. Like Spanish Mijo instead of, you know, brother or...

Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah. Like my child. Yeah. How do they say it? It was a guy in my chat and he goes, I'm crying about this Larp Mijo. And I said, dude, you're white. You can stop.

Yeah, when you use all of the pieces from Dior and you look like a Frankenstein instead of the one piece that accents you. This is just we've morphed nephew. Yes. At first it was nephew. Yeah. It's stolen from black culture, I feel. Beautiful language. Wait, are Mexicans up next? Are, our Mexicans up next? Are Mexicans up next?

The worst, the worst out of context cut on the show, maybe all time. They've been due. Oh, maybe all time. White bald guy with mustache says, are Mexicans are next? Are you guys? Shut the builder? Why is he outside? And I have an idea for an Instagram account if you're down.

I want to dress you up like a newsman and rent one of those news places and we'll just feed you lines and we just post reels of you saying whatever we say. So are like, are Mexicans up next? Turns out Cantonese hard language to learn. Shit like that. Tung Tung Chihar is up next to be in Street Fighter. Yes. And they're all like one sentence. And there's no like story.

It's the onion with no article. All headlines, all reels, all you. We can pull old stuff too. It's like 19 year old arrested for having sex with a horse for the second time. You got it. This says this time it felt good. You like a lot of news. This is obviously a concept that should be done on a green screen with some TikToker.

It's so easy. You just put his shirt on. Hey, he's our TikTok. Big on TikTok. Let's make you fucking things. You'd be crazy on TikTok, bro? You think I could get crazy on TikTok? I don't like TikTok, man.

There's no nudity. What? Tell him, goat. What are you browsing field? What? Field shorts that they implemented They're paying creators

to post on field shorts If they're eating It's a laugh out of you like that You gotta cherish it man You gotta sit there You gotta say good shit man I will spit my drink out You'll spit his damn drink out

I just smiled I smiled like watching my son Hit a fucking home run Lois LoWay Are you getting a son? What is Invincible versus Ludwig

I don't know what it is I keep trying to understand I don't know it They keep sending it to us And I don't know Invincible versus It sounds some bloody combat arena.

But what is it? Well, two things. Before we jump in, first, I would like to kill Disguised Toast, and I'd like to keep that in, Archie. Second, it's a 3V3 tag fighter, which I played against Disguised Toast.

And it turns out, A, this game's pretty bad at. Bloody, gory, you pop people's heads off. B is some fucking bullshit when a guy has infinite tags. Did he play C-Sold? And he's fucking my shit up. and he plays like a pussy.

What team did he run? He runs Cecil and he shoots the fucking gun and Cecil goes, go! And then a robot flies past Cecil. And she goes, go, go, go! And I'm playing Battlebees because I play fucking cool. But it turns out that I need to go through the other 18 playable characters

because they got a fuck time. I got some good news for you Ludwig. There are four more characters coming just in the first year. And let me tell you, the Vilchromites are bad as hell. They look super fucking sexy. Yeah, it's a race built to be sexual. look super sexy.

What? The Battle Beast is also sexual. What? You seem a little upset because you lost. It doesn't feel like it's about the game should be given a talking to. And I also think you should be...

Talk to. Don't check out Invincible Verses out now on PlayStation Xbox and PC. It's 4999 available right now. Please check it out. That'll be so cool. You ever been on the... I want it like Sniffs.

You ever been on that? What is that? Why do you know all these niche apps? Sniffs? This is a horny guy next one. My bad, Sniffies. What Sniffies? Is it what I think it is?

You guys don't know any cool shit, bro. I guess not. What's Sniffy? You guys actually don't know any cool shit. If TikTok was like Sniffies, it'd be way more later. What is Sniffy? Zipper, you gotta tell me those Sniffy's is because Aiden won't. Is it sniffy with a Y or an IES?

No, IES, bro. See, you're not on game. Yeah, look that shit out. You're not on game. Is it like an underwear exchange app? I'm sure you can exchange underwear on there. Sniffy's app login. By entering, you agree to be.

18 year older. It says cruise the map. Dude, what? Dude. So we can't log in, but the website is a guy with his pants pulled down, kind of like the sunscreen

like bottle. And he's revealing a thong that he's wearing on that. And the slogan underneath the sniffies logo says, for the curious. When were you born?

Fucking go to the 90s, man. And they got us. We are curious. I've confirmed him. I meet all the age requirements. Is there more than one? Are you a real cruiser?

Oh my God. I, hey, website, I am. This is some rare capture. I won't lie, I've been failing capture test lately and it's really been bothering. Because it's gotten hard. They're making it too hard. They're making it too hard. So they're making it too hard.

Fuck me, I got so old. What is this? Wait, wait, wait. So it's doxing our location. Oh, it's cock. Oh, you have to, wow. Okay, well, let's describe what we see. Basically, it's just a map and it has a bunch of bubbles.

almost like when you play geogessor except instead of the geogessor icon it's people's penises and it's all penises it's a gay dating app right there's poop there's poop where do you see the poop I didn't see it

play it's a poop boy show me the poop boy it put poop on it is it poop Aiden explain it to me what are they sniffing is at each other this one's for circle jerks

muscle men and twink video game wait that's awesome orgy party You guys don't see the poop one? Can you scroll down? What? No, I don't see. Look.

See, this is what you guys are missing out on. Yeah, okay. I think that's a penis. You're talking, you see the one I'm talking about? I think I see it now. I think it's a penis. Yeah. Can you click on it?

It's a penis. It's a monster. We're making Zipa. We're already hella to monetize. Let's get out of here. Zipper did pull it up though. Yeah, I like how the bubbles keep popping up. That one's a ninja, but that one's underwear.

So is it, do people, did it start as a smelling site? Yeah, how why? Okay, let me ask you this as a fake gay. What is the difference between this and Grindr? So in that sentence, you're the fake gay. Yeah, I didn't mean to say it like that. I pointed at Aden. Audio listeners, I pointed Aiding.

So you said as you're not a fake gay, you're saying Aden's a fake gay. As two fake gay is me and Aiden. Right. What is, why would you use this versus Grindr? I think it's a little more. This one's a more sexual. It's a little more on the nose than Grindrinder, I would say. That's the way.

Sniffies. That's the way on the nose. That's the way. That's like what they can say. This is very much. There's no, there's no question about it. No gimmick.

You're here, there's no gimmicks. I'm gonna smell it. You're here to plow. You're here to plow and to smell it. And that's it. And that's it. People are very forward. There's no,

there's no sheen of what a grinder profile might still be. So how men try to fuck? Smelling someone's shit out of their ass used to be underground. And now you can do it on your phone. And now there's some VC, some cock sucker VC up in Silicon Valley

who's like, let's make it, let's be the worthless middleman. I mean, like the membership, $5 a month? I mean, new to sniffies, scratch and sniff. There's no,

I think there's like no app for it. It's browser only. Okay, that makes sense. That's tough. Browser oldly. It's because the app store doesn't allow porn,

so maybe this counts as porn. Oh, maybe that's why. They would love to be on your phone. That was a Steve job incision. They used, they lambasted him for it. Really? Yeah, see?

He said no porn. And they said, you charlatan prick. How dare you do that? Allow porn. And he said, no porn. I have a daughter.

I have a fucking daughter. And then he abandoned her for 10 years. But he also just made it easier. Huh? He died. He abandoned her before he died. Oh. But he also just made it easier to put an iPad in a kid's hand.

So it's like, was it really that noble? I don't think he knows about the iPad really. He saved parenting for generations. What? He died before the iPad for the most part. No. No, he did. Yeah, he did.

I think so. No. He didn't die. Isn't the first iPad come out before he died? Let's find this out. Isn't the, I'm going to guess the release of the first iPad is in 2010. Okay, and when do you think Steve Jobs died? Didn't he die in 2011?

11 or 11 or 12? Okay, let's take a look. I forgot all this. Let's dig into this one. I think the iPad came out after he died. Show us. I'll bet you on Sniffy's post. A Sniffy's post?

Yeah, Loser has a post on Sniffy's post. And they have to agree to whatever anyone DMs him. I'm out of free post, but deal. Zippers. Zipping my beat boys and jack off my soul. First iPad, April 3rd, 2010. Nailed that. Nailed that.

Steve Jobs. Oh, boom. Two times. Nailed it, man. I'm just so. It's not even Aiden about technology, bro. It's too easy for me and Nick. It's too easy.

You were in this. Yes, I was. I said, I said, I was also going, I said I was also going 20-10. Get your Sniffy's post ready. Sniffy's post. You just say what he said. You have to post two times. You actually have to make a profile for you.

And one for you. We got DM'd already. Oh, okay. Zipper DM'd, uh, Dan, a big bucket of ketchup. Oh, on. No, no, no, I think he made a Sniffy's account and got a DM. Oh. What?

Wait, say hi. Say hi. What? We don't even have photos. Say, hey, dot, dot, dot. Sorry, I'm a bit new here. What is that outfit, bro? Why are we flirting with a bat?

We shouldn't. Shut up. It's obviously a chat bot. No, no, it's not. This is a guy that's hungry to smell it. If it was a chat bot, they would respond fucking immediately. They're another anonymous cruiser. This guy wants to smell it.

Let him. I can't wait for you guys to get scammed. No worries. No worries. That's very human. This is, this is an AI chat bot. Age. Age.

Something appropriate. 64. No, no. No, 64. I'm a little bit old. You guys are 64. Dude, this is fine. 64.

Dot-dot. Before I'm a little bit old. Dot-da-dot. I'm a little, dude, dot-da-dot. I'm a little old. Jesus Christ, you're an ellipsis machine.

Well, that's very old. Is that okay? You know, not kind of mind. Dude, this is not a real person. This is a real person. They're an anonymous cruiser. Chat JBTBT doesn't even hit real work. No worries yet.

Are people bodying on sniffing? This guy says, oh, it says is Asian height. He's 23.5.8? 23.58? Was a yard fan? Oh, they're not responding now. That was ever quick. That was tough.

That was over quick. Give him a chance. Look, leave it there. If he responds, he responds. But I think that we unfortunately reach a filter. This man's young man's personal filter. You guys are just trying to group ris a gay guy. No, we're trying to cruise for hot gay sex.

Yeah, but don't act like you'd actually fucking spread it. No, I wouldn't. I don't think I wouldn't do that. You know? So it's like, what are you egging this guy along where you're not even going to love him of taste? You approached me. Yeah, that's true, bro. You're not going to let him of a fresh account with nothing on it? What is that? I think it's, what is. What is that? I think it's Claude is what it is.

Not clawed, bro. There's bots everywhere, bro. I don't even think there's any Patreon members on this fucking podcast. And God. And God damn, if I, if I wish that. Where they talk. Where they talk about. You know it's all gone? There are some bots in there. In the Patreon? Hey? No, I mean like human bots. But we put them in creepy tormentor

and they don't... Yeah, they eventually fizzle out and leave. You know creepy tormentor? I have no clue what that even means. It's a role that I made in the Discord called creepy tormentor. And if you creep me or torment me, you get creepy tormentor and it puts you

in a channel that you can't speak to me anymore. And you're with the other creepy tormentors. It's all you guys in there. It sounds like something I would do. It takes away your access from the rest of the Discord and you're just locked in creepy tormentor. So you're not banned from the Discord. No.

You're only with the, you're in the hackney hack server. You put them in Asphodel. You're in the HVH server You're low prior Recently someone appealed They were in there for like a while And they said I'd like to appeal Where do I do that?

I said do it here Do it here For all the sea Successfully Yeah it was a successful appeal He's a generous king And so you go to Asstifidel That's rare

I track through asphodel And I say would anyone like to appeal You kick your knees through the swamp And the skulls and the blood And they're like I'm just in there I'm just following orders I never help

You don't help I don't put people in there. I never help them. Do you talk to them in there? No, don't even speak to them. It's been incredibly effective. There was a sacrifice of one user named Metro Gounen that we all remember.

There was one sacrifice and then Metro left the Discord. Kind of sad because they were around for a long time but they deserved it. They deserved it. You guys would crucify me for this, but I love this. Very soon after, Nickzone got a lot cleaner.

A lot less annoying. Can I ask what Metro Gounen did? Just consistently annoying. Just consistently annoying. And you hate when they're consistently annoying. A lot of hear your own voice core. A lot of things that don't need to be typed out and said Because like slime annoying is like how are you doing today? Yeah like that. Yeah, it could be like that I'm less sensitive than that But it's still it's still would you call would you say it's something kind of worthless

See look what happens when you appease him would you still say? It's something kind of worth it. Would you still think of my Would you still? Would you say it's so sad? Would you say it's a lot of inside head? Would it be wrong to admit I kind of miss Metro Gootland? Wow. Maybe it's true. It's true. But I don't regret what I did. I think they probably went on

to have a successful life for it. You hope that Metragoon became a doctor. Yeah, something. I did watch a video of this man. He was a small creator, but he had one big post and it said, yes, I said slurs on League of Legends.

And that's how it opens. And he goes, I've been addicted to league my whole life. First, it started with porn. And it was all serious. Is this Tarzan? It's a very serious. No, no, it's a, it's a father.

Tarzanan? Wait, he found porn, you found porn, you run a league from porn? He goes, first it was porn. I was shacking off every night. And then my friends got into League of Legends and I got addicted to the competitive nature and I would play every night.

But he stopped jerked off. And I tried quitting, but every time I would uninstall, I'd redownload it. And I finally wanted to quit one day. So I got into a game and I told my team my plan and they supported me. And I said every slur I could think of. And I quit.

And now I have more time to spend with my wife, my beautiful kids. Wow. And then I looked at the rest of the page and it's all like, you know, waking up early and working out is good for you. It's not like Norma hardcore, you must make your bed in the morning.

But I think this is, I think this is real. This was his out. It sounds like he got, he is just acceptable to being one shot by things really quickly. And I'm surprised ChatGPT hasn't bore a hole into his mind and made him kill his family. It's funny that he said,

that he said it was porn. It lies if I believe he started playing league and stopped playing porn watching porn. Did you think about, because we were over here, right? We were over here. When I heard that. there was a giant leap. It happens all the time.

It was a giant. People talk to chat GPT for a month and then they kill somebody. All the time. It happens all the time is... Go look it up, Mr. Researcher, because I see a fucking article about it all the damn time. Oh, me and Aden on The Advice show, we came up with this awesome concept. Oh, okay. You know, Hot Fuss by the Killers, the debut album from The Killers Band. That's the blue one? It's the blue one, the city. Killers Band from Las Vegas.

They came out with this album, Hot Fust, great. And they had Mr. Brightside. It's a re-concept of that album, Mr. Bullside. It's about a man who is a bull who cucks husbands. And he feels, I just can't cuck. It's killing me. Right? Yeah.

You still keep it's killing me. Now, Andy, you're a bull. I'm taking your bull or something. Let's see. Would be Chelsea. It would be. It's also all these men that I've cucked. All these men that I've cucked.

It's so beautiful that 10 years later, just find a way to come back to basics of what I was doing when you were making fun of me 10 years ago, making a little parody. You've got a little parody sound. I mean, it just came, it just came naturally. And you got a box to me, let me tell you, it was like divine inspiration. I understood how Homer felt. What pisses me off about that song is you, you sound amazing on it. You literally sing good. My voice was so much better back then. You sing good. What happened to you? Smoked. Oh, China. You're still a good singer. China got to you. No, I lost it. I lost it. I know I lost it. You don't have to tell me. You don't have to appease me. I know I lost it. Like your CS rank, it's gone, bro.

I wouldn't do that. Come on. Not coming back for me. Not going back. No tools bring it back, bro. Dude, it's 45. I've lost so many games. I might be close. I'm scared to count because I might be close to that streak I had on Valorant. Ooh. What was that? Yeah, I do remember this. Do you remember? I was on, I think I had lost 16 games in a row going on 17. I'll never forget it because this had. reached so far around our friend group that I was streaming the game to a discord call and the call was 15 to 20 people deep. Yeah. Including Ludwig. Yeah.

I remember this. Yeah. I remember this. Yeah. I remember. I will never ever forget being up 111 in that 17th game and it going to OT and thinking maybe I just can't win. Like I, that was beautiful.

Because there's so few moments where, where the. boys are in cord and Ludwig is there. Like, yeah. Yeah, he only watches the grand finals. Yeah. Of things. And I'm, I'm close to that right now.

So what are you out? What's your shriek at? I think it has to be at least eight. Okay. I start tapping at double digits. But the thing is, the eight is broken up by like, I had a win before that eight,

and I had lost like nine before that. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Right, right, right. You're like two and 20. Yeah, it's very bad right now. It's bad. Yeah, I, um, I get it, bro.

I've never been to this spot ever. Yeah. Probably never will be, but I get it. I don't know what it is. Hard. I think what happens, I, I go through this period with games where I'm like in space jam where any power I have gets sucked out of me into somebody else's basketball. You got the yips.

And I can't, I literally can't shoot the gun. Like I, you got the yips, bro. It happens in baseball all the time. They had to send Roki down to the miners. Can I say something kind of hurtfully? Yeah, it's fine. Can you put up a mental fortress for it? Mental fortress, hold on, I'm building it?

It looks kind of like when you build the door in zombies. Okay, it's done? When I was watching the CS event, and I was watching Aiden play, I was sitting in the kitchen, I said, he doesn't counter-strafe. And then Yingling chimes from the back of the room,

and he says, he's got a low success rate. Because Yingling knows his counter-strafe success rate, And I'm like, why do you know that? It's like a stat, right? I didn't know it was a stat. Is he that chosen in the game? Yeah, you can get the stat. It doesn't show it like...

Oh, it's not a default game though. You just like, go find it. Yeah, yeah. But he just knew it. You can just knew his stat off mind. Whoa. So you got a low success rate. Because he's a Valoran cell.

Hmm. You played Valoran for so long. It's my curse too. Because Valerite, counter shiffing is honestly kind of bad. Low key. It's, it's L cancelling. It's hard.

You just let go it in Valerrin. You don't even have to... Yeah. You jump. You go to it and you jump and you land. Your first bullet in the air is fully accurate. It is? No,

no. Oh. I was going to say, that's not fair. It isn't Kod. All your bullets are. Cod's fucked up. Well, Street Fighter does that too,

where you can look at all of the stats of like the types of movie you use and then line it up against any player. It's all, it's just on a database on the game. So like you can look at the top cammy in the world and be like, how often do they use this like function? And you can be like, well,

I use it way more than that guy does. Maybe that's why I'm losing. I would love to see, like, you put a bunch of Street Fighter bots into a simulation. They play a billion games. And then you just get the heat map of, like, what move each character uses, and it's, and the amount of times it connected.

Yeah. And did damage. Range, range will help you with that. You could probably get, like, if you got that info and it was just like, all right, this character's high fucking kick, like, connects 70% of the time. You could probably spam that to, like, plat. The thing is, Street Fighter is kind of such a simple game

that we kind of already figured this out. and it's my Shira Nuai and her giant rack and her evil bitch fire moves. Can you look at my Shira New Eyes rack? Please. Please, computer. They're just too big. It's crazy. I think I would draw the female anatomy better than a lot of Street Fighter artists. Hi, that's My Shira New Eye. Dude, oh my God.

It doesn't even seem like a comfortable outfit. Dude, she is just, there's no way she doesn't want breast reduction surgery. I mean, a lot of this is a fan art, but if you go to the actual renders from Street Fighter, like... Oh, it's my. This is how they would dress Sidney if she had to play like a barista. Look at that. Look at King of Fighters, bro. Is that real? Oh, God.

Is that an actual King of Fighters cover? Because that's fucking crazy. Fuck, that's disgusting. Are there other photos, dude? I hope there's no more. Oh, there's so many. Open one big. Yeah, they made, they know where their bread's buttered. It's, it's, it's, she's the best character in the game. Is she really the best? Yeah, by, by like a... The best gooner in the game. By a damn country mouse. She's the best character.

Oh. Oh, wow. She's very, very, very oppressive. She's Fox or. What about Edmond? Edmond Honda, he's pretty, he doesn't really make top Bates. Okay, let's get there. That's what E stands for.

Isn't that? Isn't that funny? I didn't know that. Edmund, really? Edmond. I'd also call E. I'd also go by E. We get a real, honest update.

Uh-huh. I heard you've been playing off stream. Where's the straight fighter out? How's that naked, greasyy man? Dude, I've been fucking everything up in my last. I am not playing any street fighter. I've been busting down some league. I had a desire to play league the other day.

Casually? Yeah. Well, yeah, I just played a solo game of league. It was horrible. I was like, I was like,

this will be fun. And then I played it. And then my team, we had 90 kills in the game. I was like, this fucking soft. This is insane. 90 kills.

90 kills across both teams, yeah. It wasn't Swift play. No, no, it was just a regular game. Wow. Yeah,

there was like 30 kills by minute 10. I was like, this is something. Are we going to rev up the training? No, man, I'm fucking taking it slow. You're taking it slow? I'm taking it slow. Yeah, that's fine, but that would still constitute speeding it up eventually.

I'm taking it slow right now, and I'm working on me. And I think that will help me more in the long term than studying a game. Tyler 1 is going to drop his balls and his penis at the same time into your butthole. On stage at Evolution. I beat him on Thursday, so why can I do it again? I literally beat him a lot this week. In League of Legends. In Street Fighter?

In League of Legends? In League of Street Fighter. You beat him and some shit I don't care about Wait, who's on Tyler's team? He had Summit, Dizzy Kitten, Ging, and I forget the fifth. What are you going to do with that information?

Maybe Emmy? Do those people play Lidlick? Most, no. The best player on our team was Emerald. Lilly, right? Yeah. And we won. You know, more cohesive?

You know, I talked to Kelby because I was looking at, well, we were watching burnt peanut uneronically. Yeah. And we were watching Bert Peanut do his draft because that's the really only team we care about. And I'm like, Kelby, I see some of the names on this thing, bro. Why can't slime be up in big lights on the AT&T and Night Laterac Cup?

You know what? Answer on your phones at home. He does this thing. He does this thing where he's like, and he turns around, he's like, slime. Come on. And you all watch M2AF, and so you know exactly what he sounds like. He'll go, oh, you're serious.

Oh my god. Oh, you're serious. Oh, you're serious. Well, he puts his little hands together like a bird. When a brand gets involved. Like a bird. Yeah, dude. And then he's like, your Twitter is crazy.

And he doesn't even say it like that. Your Twitter is, and then I'll try to find a word that's easy to find, but he can't. Don't know what. Not exactly brand safe. And I was like, that fucked up. But Tyler wasn't the goddamn thing. Well. But slime can't be in some shit.

You know what it is? It's because your Twitter is like It's a ledger Whereas like his Things he says on stream They just fade away to time And they're like oh well as long as it's not a clip That people care about

We don't care Well it's also he just has He's Tyler 1 He's bigger He has the biggest penis His penis is way bigger Than my penis Kind of could ever grow to be

The larger the penis The more you can say And isn't that nasty Isn't that nasty shit, man Does it not make sense That AT&T wants a bigger penis Should they want a small penis? Okay, AT&T

largest company in the world. They want a smaller penis. Try it out. I want a tiny penis this time. Try it. Agency running this. Let's get really tiny penis. Try it.

Try it. Try it. Try my meat. Try my micro. Me. Showing my micro. At least. Try it.

In the boardroom. The AT&T sniffies meetup. Micro's only. Micro's only. The no loads refused micro event. And it's like you're kind of, sometimes you just miss the load. Happens.

I didn't refuse it. I just didn't know. It just missed. Is that on me? I didn't miss. Was that a load? You know, it's a kind of a recession indicator

on the subredgeal people are selling their old yard merch. Stock bags, books, a lot of stuff. I think it's a clear indication of

material conditions getting worse. That's probably true. What can you do? Which means it's probably time to buy low, you know? Yeah, which means...

Probably shouldn't sell an art book. We need to... Good thing we're not working on it. Yeah, sort of like fantastic. adventure. It's like, but if you went and checked, there could be like more t-shirts on the store

like right now. Is that true? That's true. Okay. Oops. I was going to say, we need to start selling speculative assets as products. Well, we're selling tungsten.

We should sell insider trading information. Like, thanks, bro. Not even kidding. We should sell our tungsten. We should sell the cube. Oh, our tungsten. Yeah, you said our tungsten. Yeah, that we split four ways.

I bought that with the art account. Oh, thank God. Yes, it is ours. It's my tungsten. No. No, no. We bought the art account. It belongs to the article.

I get 25% of the transaction. Show me the transaction. Okay. This guy can't find shit. He didn't even know he was paying for the electricity bill. No, that's not true.

When he does a voice like that, it means it's kind of true. It means there's some truth. It means there's no truth. It's disgusting that you'd use that against me. Disgusting. So there's something to use. What's the truth then, Aydn?

You know what the truth is? You know what the truth is? Before Pop Pop came back into the came into this role, we literally hadn't paid the electricity bill in over two years in this office. Yeah. Let us run. Which is also insane that the electricity, they didn't just cut the electricity to the building. Well, they were busy orchestrating a giant fire that burned people's houses down.

We had over 20 grand in utilities builds unpaid when I came into this role. And you want to know how to start making money? You leverage. You leverage people. You leverage time. You leverage assets. Yep. And this time we're leveraging all three by not paying.

for that bill and telling the person who comes over to fuck themselves. Hey, fuck you and your overalls. Turn that shit off. Go ahead and try. And what he's referring to is I thought when I was investigating the issue with our internet at the office, I thought that the reason was, oh, we stopped paying the bill because we had switched it off a different card. Christian had moved it from a card to an account. And that's, we'd been paying it. You know what? Unfortunately, Ludwig, he's defended himself well. I look at the bills every month. And the bill said, the same amount every month, so I'm like, we're paying it. Christian's got a handled.

Great stuff. You're going to this fucking porn movie director guy? Honestly, yeah. What does this have to do with pornography? Honestly, yeah. Most of what you brought out today is kind of pornographic. Yeah. But what does this have to do with that? Yeah, I'm porn head. You'd run a tight ship on a porn set. I'd run a mean porn production company. No, no, don't flip on your back. Just stay where you're in the position you are for an hour. Oh, dude, AD. You got a porn.

porn set would be the most annoying part. It would be gross. You have to schedule everything and you have to get the people to clean shit up. The director more has the vision. What if porn stars are punctual? If there anything like you, brother? That's what I'm saying.

You know, like streamers have a reputation. They're not punctual. I feel like, porn stars are punctual. I bet porn stars are punctual. You think they are? Yeah. That's probably the best shit you're doing that day. Yeah, there's an excitement.

Well, I mean, what if it's a gig you don't want to do? That's true. You know? It depends what we ask here. but like Johnny Sins he's on time I think you're I think you're romanticizing your streaming

I think you have a person shows up a little bit late he's five 10 minutes late he has a coffee slips his Seallis in that coffee sorry I'm late promise I'm rock right now I'm ready to go dude walking through the parking lot

in Chadsworth or whatever rock because you have porn to do being a natty porn actor I don't know I use that Cial's shit dude I feel like that'd be crazy hard to do I'm Natty those guys fucked for like so long. It's crazy. Do you guys know about catching print?

Catching print? Catching print? I'd love to learn. I don't think I'm... Is print print being like the print of your penis on your sweatpants? I am sending a weird tone for this. Yeah, why do you know so many? There's so much shit you don't know that what you know here is strange. You know so much about fucking and sucking and no, fucking. He's putting up and I think this is a good thing. A lot of gay cred right now. Because what I learned from hanging out with Austin Show for one day, I don't really have enough gay friends. There's a whole culture I am just don't understand. I can't say that. Huh? Yeah. What did you? Yeah, you're mad at me. Now, I made cigarette. Weirdly, I don't think he would.

No, he might not. Anyway, before we go, what is catching print? Catching print? It's, it's, you know. New Chris Hanson show. Cop. Cod. Sit over there. Looks good. Seeing the outline, like getting to see a large penis or catching the large penis through the print of the fabric or jeans that the person was talking about print all the time. A catching, catching a catching, you're just noticing

someone's print. It's observing it. You kind of made it sound like a more Yeah, I thought it was like it. And then it's like a Pocodex? Six and a half. That is a monster cop. Micro. So for example, you know, like I might be looking at pictures of John Ham who is notably has a

large penis. And you're catching his print. And I'm catching print. I see. Oh, goddamn. You're a print catcher. Well, that one wasn't as fun as the other one, sniffing app. Hey, did that guy respond to us?

Wait, how about a 3D printer? That's when it's like bulging out. Like, towards you. Catching a print. And you print is 3D. You print it. And you print it. And you print the...

And that's a 3D print. You see you out of the printer. It seems like a known from Zipper. From what? Dipper did he reply? Yep. Oh, Dan? No, no.

I'm glad we can... Sniffy's guy. Represent the, the plight of being an old gay man on the show. Damn. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, what did I say? You guys are really excited about that. He said, sup, want to get your whole eaten until your leg shake, get into this gay project, and find a guy who will do it with no shame. And then message removed. Because it was, because it was a link for a scam shit, bro. I'm telling you, all these are bots. I've made, I've heard. Because you spent a lot of time on stuff. I've heard people make accounts here.

I've heard about people making accounts on Stiffies. All right, guys. You didn't know what it was. 20 minutes ago. Let's just get out of here, y'all. Archie, good luck blurring all of this. Sorry, Archie. It's funny that we're like, go to a different part of the map.

Like, we could show any of that. Yeah. I thought that was hilarious. I didn't say anything. Guys, we'll see you in the Ultra, actually the normal bonus episode, which is coming up right now if you're a patron. I'll see in the fucking bonus episode. I won't there.

There won't be any porn there. There'll be no print to catch. Funny how we kind of felt like it was a premium. We're kind of do. I also felt it. We're adding a little bit of porn of the primo. Yeah. And we'll see you there.