The Yard - Ep. 255 - YouTube Is Boring Now

Episode Date: June 17, 2026

This week, the boys talk about telling bedtime stories, Ludwig's upcoming minecraft event, and how YouTube videos are becoming too formulaic.. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Yeah, like the first six months of hour. I'm saying like it still hasn't been beaten. He's playing plumbers. It still hasn't been beaten. Yeah, Bill Russell has 11 championships. What are we talking about? And we talk about Bill Russell nice. Yeah, but he's down on the list.

He's on the list. You were saying tension to be on the list. Bill Russell's on the list. You're right? Yeah, bro, I'm right. Dude, records and like games like this are kind of crazy. Have you ever looked at like the highest of all time records for Counterstrike? There's some surprising players on that list.

I think, I think, uh, Fifth Lauren is still like most kills ever. NIP still has the most consecutive wins. Scream has the highest, um, uh, headshot percentage. That's crazy. Still. There are fun stats you can find. Is scream fat now, you think? Whoa.

No. No, he's probably fucking ripped. He probably ripped fucking. What if he's fat and then you're wrong? It's not a secret. You know why it's unlikely? Why? Because he's a CS2 player and I think CS2 players are more prone to consuming nicotine.

Like it's skinny. Less. Where's this theory in the body? CS2 players of nicotine? Yeah. I've heard rumors. Streets are telling you? I've heard some rumors that the

European, especially the East European CS2 players. Yeah. Fucking littered up there. Oh, for sure. Donk's smoking two packs a day? Yeah, they got like Bayne mask level of zin. Donk has to be walked to his gamer chair before you.

That's scream? Why should look like John Wick? Yeah. Dude, he looks amazing. What the fuck? You can see his shoulder through his suit jacket. He's 31? You can see his shoulder through his fucking.

Aymie is so easy. Wow. What a fucking beast, dude. He looks fucking good. Can I see what twists looks like right now? This is an April article from this year. Yes. So he's not bad.

He looks fucking hot. He is not, he's a little washed. Oh, thank you. Are you the everyone's washed guy now? Yeah, like, what is this, bro? What is this, bro? He's a little washed now. Okay.

You're saying tens is washed shouldn't be on mogul money because he's washed. Is 10s not a little washed? He's not a little washed. He's not. He's retired. It's fucking great, dude. He retired a champion. He literally,

you retired a champion? Yeah, he won a major and then retired. Oh, you're right. It's too many seeds. But not scream. You don't piss me off. What?

Because Shroud came to your awesome event. Yeah. And he fucking took a hot dump on his keyboard and played like balls. Well, and then I got fed a Shroud video on my home page. And it's like him playing

in fucking 30K Elo at Premier Lobbies and just piss gliding. and I'm like what you have you have it in here still you just don't give up to me maybe he secretly hates playing against Jordan nothing Gilbert and he's like this fucking guy again

or maybe he didn't want Ludwig to win I also think there's a skill set to being good against nubes and then good in pro lobbies this is real even in counter strike like the amount of space you can take comfortably and like the flow of the game yeah because like somebody like me young might just be

mid with the eagle and shoot your head off I think what it comes down to it's a mixture of like it's the wobbles thing. You can't break someone with no brain type of thing. Where it's like you make a play that's like the right play

in most cases they're gonna hold con in this way but it's like they're just in the middle of mid in a place that they always would die normally but you ever watch like a pro CS game and you see they're like a minute into the round

and they're like still setting up the three nades that they need to just get up cat on Dust 2 and they're just all sitting there but you can't do that in a pub because some fucking an idiot just runs it down mid.

But no one in the top level is going to do that because it's going to get punting. They're not playing for the dumbest play possible. They're playing for the best play possible. Can I say something outlandish? That's crazy. That's crazy. DeFlorin's older than me.

That's actually crazy. Faflaren. So take that. I think it's easier for Zane to like forestock me without taking a single hit than like someone who's never played the game. Because they'll be swinging crazy

in his spots I'd never swing. It's because his aggression means something to you. So like if he runs at you, then runs away. You're going to miss a grab. You're going to F-Smash. To a bad player, they don't even register they were being run at.

So they just do a move at a time that Dane's not ready for. And now he will try. In poker, we call these thinking players and you have to ask yourself is he a thinking player? Shut the fuck a Bitcoin Latin. Well, in poker.

And you have to ask yourself, is he capable of folding? Because if he's not, you gotta have it. He's not gonna fold and you can't be bluffing. These are the things you think about

while at the table in the aria. Yeah. And when you play poker, go to the aria. Can we take a moment you're stressed out? I want to wash that stressed away.

I want to wash it off of you. Does it come off? I know. Can I say you're very rarely stressed? I don't know if that's true. I think that's... I think historically that's true. I'm very rarely

showing that you're stressed. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So why are you emanating? I'm fucking. wired, bro, because I got too much shit to do. Today? Finally. Just in life, bro? Like, what? I got too much shit to do it. Guy who signed up

for so much shit. God, I have so much. You know what I've been fucking done? Reeking, sewing. Actually, the guy who signed up for too, but then I have to start saying no to shit. What's the most recent thing? He said, oh, he said no to Kelby today. He asked for your help and you're like, no, Kelby, no. You know what he said? In the most serious voices ever heard, he's like, Kelby, I don't have

time for you today. I'm sorry. I was very sincere. And he's like, okay. And you know why they're laughing audience at home is because that was really accurate. He was spoiled on the toilet. Yeah, like a fall guy's character. What are you stressed about, dude? And Aidan gets mad because I like to ask

Kelby awesome questions about his life. And he turns around, I was like, you keep talking like you're a cop at a precinct. Dude, trying to get him to admit he killed somebody. Maybe, okay, maybe it's because I came in late. But I worked at home this morning, and then I came in later than I usually do. So I'm one of the last people here

in a packed office for mogul money. There's literally like 40 people here. And you're in the room just shaking Kelby down. And I sit down at my desk because I'm like, that's normal. But then it keeps going. Jim cranked Dwight. Like, what are we doing? Whatever Kelby answers is the wrong thing somehow.

And I would argue at this stage of the conversation, he's giving normal human answers. And I interrupt. I say, this is insane. You're trying to intract. him like it's a cop-share shirt it's not allowed to talk that much you have a Bitcoin laughing.

Guys, so funny! Listen to me, here's the question I asked him. I'm going to tell you what I asked him and you want to tell me what he said to me? I said he was talking about one of his oldest friends, his best friend. He said best friend. He said his best I'm like, who's your best friend? He's like this guy.

Like your best friend? It's not Tyler. It's not Ninja? It's not it's not B. You didn't make the cut. I thought it was T.B. I was like, do you love him?

He looks at me. He's like, not really a word that I really start. And I just start immediately freaking out. That's fair. Wait, this is fair. Some people are and I love you people. I think where slime is redeemed is after about 30 minutes of being berated, I said, when was the last time you told him you loved him?

He went like a month ago. And I said, well, why didn't you just open with that? What are we doing? Well, he's an argumentative guy. Because he was like, loves not a word. then he said I used it recently. Yeah, that's weird. Oh, it's weird.

Oh, maybe I'm onto something. Calvian and Slime were similar to that when he started. I don't like arguing. I don't like arguing him wrong. They need each other. Yeah, they do. They need each other. Let me get this one thing straight.

And I think there's the difference between me and him, and I think this is very astute. I don't like arguing. I want to prove that he's wrong. He likes arguing. He will take any position to fuck with me, which is hilarious, right? Yeah.

He doesn't care. what he believes in most of the time? I'm not on your side. I don't know I said, yeah, I just want to cut off. Because I felt like it might have come off. I'm on your side here. I, I'm trying to say, Kelby, you're a, you're a closeted man who is afraid to get in touch with himself and say, I love you to another man. That's what I'm trying to say. Hold up, but some, I think some people are like this. Like, I told you Christians, Christian was like this. And that was great. Christian is say, I love you to me for the first 24 years I knew. I know. I know. And I clawed out of him every day.

And it's beautiful. And I fought him. And then he says it back. And most, in most Europeans, other cultures, Asians. Yeah, but think else. But they're not, I love you cultures. All sorts of stuff. They're not dropping.

My mom never said to me. My mom, dad has never said it to me. She hated saying it on phone calls. So. She hated space. Yeah, yeah. She thought it cheapened the word. Well, that's interesting.

Because it was going through a phone? Because it was being used too much. Ludwig, the phone, it is not a real. It's like staling, you know. And do I stop it from yelling at me? The phone is electronic. It's not my words. There's something to that.

There's something to that. If you're giving out cheap, I love you, it's your son! Some people are I love you sluts. The problem is Peter Crackter because now he... Yeah, he did. Hashtag Peter Crack that. I'm not going to join in. I don't appreciate that.

I don't appreciate that. You said it first. You opened the door. It's the I love you thing. Okay, yeah, Peter cracked your mom. I just said what you said. I just said what you said. Peter Cractor.

But you're saying it with the context. The context is that Peter Cractor. It's like a Peter. It's like Peter Instagram selfie. It's like hashtag berserk. hashtag then I cracked it. You know what I mean? Hashtag guts.

Are you laughing? Are you laughing? He's the main character. You're fucking laughing. You're fucking laughing. I think that was inappropriate. I respect your mother. My mom here this should be fucking mad at all you.

Why would she be mad at me? She'll be mad at all of you. Why? I'm on Claire's shirt. It says it on the collar. It's a collar. It says it on the collar. All right. Peter changed the way she uses the word I love you.

And now she spams it. As her son, do you like that? I'm cool with it. Because I've already been corrupted. I was already cracked by Peter and many others. earlier in my life. When he met you as a child. When I was younger.

I was 17. I was 17 when I met. Yeah, yeah. But I was, some people think that's okay. Jerry Seinfeld. No, I, yeah, I'd been saying it, so it wasn't weird for me.

Anyway, that was the big argument. And it's, Kelby, he understands he's rage baited me a lot. I just like to kind of ask him questions. And then, but sometimes, also, I'm not alone in this. I hate this.

Because he's here saying the equally acidic things. just doesn't raise his voice. Yes. I agree with you that Nick is acidic, but the acid oozes and your spurts. I spurt everywhere. Yeah. You spurt crazy and everyone knows you spurt an acid and Nick slowly like like pouring a little gasoline under. Yeah and he's like

Kelby. Do you not think that Kelby likes to play as well? Do you not think that he's, he's saying, I want some acid for me right now. Of course. Of course. Kelby's basically I'm just giving him what he's asking for. Kelly's walking on the lighter just go No, I think I think this is like you're trying to say that Kelby shows up in the short skirt every day. No, no, no, no, no, it's not. Because, because, because, Kelby, I will,

I have days where I walk into the office, I go, go, though, and then I sit down, and I do whatever I do. I play Xcom or I do nothing, I do nothing. And I just sit there. And then Kelby will start fucking with me. He would be a genuine laugh at a Ludwig there. He really tickled him.

He does do that. He plays Escom, where he sits there. And I go. And, uh, and, And Kelby will be like, okay, Sly, I have a question for you. And then he engages me in rage bait. He does this all the time.

And I happily accept because I feel like even though you're coming, you're approaching me, I know the buttons and I can fight too. But I feel like the tone of it is Kelby's like, nah, nah, nah, nah, no. And you're like, ma-ram-ram-ram. And then when you go home, you're like,

bah! It's only sometimes because sometimes he'll be like, to me and I'll be like, ma-m-m-a-to-him. And then it's a normal conversation. But sometimes he actually is trying to fuck with me. And I'm fine with this.

And I can tell. But I don't think you're fine because sometimes like, if someone walks in on you, and I think this is what happened today, when made a conversation, it seems like you're berating him. I think that's okay. It's just I want you to appreciate the context of the ancestors that came before the elders, if you will,

past present and emerging. Presidents emerging. And we think Barnabas for the day. I should always remember the Qantas ad before I speak. Thank you for trying. To pay homage. Because you didn't get to here today. and some of us did.

You were jerking off early in your house. You're jerking off early in the house. I was jerking off this morning. Hey, guys, and this is serious. I want none of you to fucking jerk off or explode at any point in the next week. What?

You want me to hold my sperm. For a week. No explosions? Yeah, because next week I want it. Oh my God. What if I can't help it? Well, maybe it. Then when the swimmers come back,

when the swimmers come back in the council? off for a week. We just have some home kits that test sperm count and I think it'd be fun to test her sperm count. Why don't we go have a man do it at the place? Isn't that funner? We could do that. I don't I don't even care to make a video of it anymore. I just want to do it. I want to talk about it and know the results

but I do think it's a little intimate to film the door when Nick's inside. He's jerking up behind that north. Yeah, and they'd be like he's jerking up behind that and you can't go out. He's jerking up behind that door. Oh! Oh! Ow! What is he?

Oh! Are you okay? In some board reception, it's like, sometimes it hurts. Yeah, I'm doubt. I think it, I mean,

I'm gonna be, guys, if I have better numbers than you, I'm gonna be insufferable. I know. Well, that's why.

Doing this back to the back with the beatoff is actually. That's why you should wait a week. Sure. No cigarettes, no alcohol preferred. Are you dumping awesome load?

I'm just saying, is that what you say? No, no cigarette. You said, I'm the only one to bed. No, the numbers. It's not the load. It's the numbers.

People know. It's PPM. Can I ask a vulnerable question? How does it work? Like, I know you judge in the cup, they test the cup. But I'm saying, I'm saying, are they like, are they measuring the quantity or the, or the health of each individual? It's like parts per million, though. PPP.

So it's just a amount, it's just a part of million of cells. You could just a tiny little bit and you could still be like, I just get a crazy score. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He wants to. There's probably a correlation. I would say this is probably a correlation. I would assume if you just a tiny little bit, maybe you're less like, I don't know. I'm assuming you're a little bit.

You know it. That old shock site that guy who dumped a jug. Dumps a jug. Dumps a jug. Dumps a jug. Jizz out of his penis. It's like a fake penis.

Oh, I know this one. I don't know this one. This is not an old shock site. This is what I showed you guys. Yeah. It was called Izzy gets posed. No, it was before that.

No, it's not before Izzy gets hosed. I don't know what you're talking about. I don't think I've seen it. I didn't like sex. Jack, I don't like sexual shocks sites. I didn't like them. You don't like just sexual shocks sites.

I didn't. Growing up? I didn't like it. I did. I'd sit there. Be kicked up BME Pan Olympics. Fun. Now fucking X.com is the shock site.

Woo. Dude. It's for you, dude. That's what they don't want to fucking say. That's what they don't want to say. God, what was it called, man? He was a guy with a name.

Wasn't it? I don't, brother, you're thinking of a guy jizzing and that's okay? That's your prerogative. Pause. I'm not with you. It's not gay to think of a guy juzing.

Zippercu, can you look at what reduces sperm count. I know alcohol. Yeah, laptop on your right laptop on your box. It's like commonly That's fake.

No. It's like sitting in a gaming chair for five hours a day Reds. Oh yeah. Fuck shit. Driving a Mazden a yachting

go to school. Okay, testicular heat from hot tubs or laptops. Yep. Yep. Okay. But that was green

that's fake. Hank Green said the heat could lower it but it is temporary you were right. I thought the wires did it.

The wires of what do you mean? The wires of the electricity? No, I get you mean. I thought like the Wi-Fi, like the signal

Oh, that's what you thought. Yes. No, isn't it just a lot of heat on your balls? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Your balls hates heat so much that they hang outside of your body. Yeah, that's part of it. So you got to keep the balls cool.

All right. Anabolic steroid smoking, drug use, obesity. Oh, Gigi, yeah, yeah. Gigi. Oh, fuck. To anyone who's obese. Oh, drug use obesity, you're fucked. What the fuck?

All right. Dude, I gained 10 pounds since China. So we're going to, we're going to all sperm in cups. Since China. Oh, since. We're all going to spread. in cups and then we're going to see and if I have a higher score than you guys it's going to be a biblical because I'm not going to shut up about it and it's going to be awesome just so OG

sperm tester who does it the old-fashioned way feels it feels a grit still makes it the old fashion paper yeah no it's gritty I would like to find out that sperm checking is like chicken sexing it's it's just someone has to vibe it out still like there's no real scientific process. There's like a Somalié who has to like The sperm's a healthy I can tell.

It's an 80 year old man Oh yeah That's about 1,000 per milleter Thousand parts per mile You know what I'm thinking about now When I do this podcast is I was I was here Saturday And I was

It was like me and Otto And like Dan and Liza And then I'm like walking around Talking to Dan And then Auto is like doing You know how he works He has a split keyboard And then the mainframe

Oh yeah. And the code and he goes in it. It's like, it's literally like he's doing the Matrix thing, looking at the green rain. And sometimes it's deadlock. But sometimes it's deadlock. But I'm talking to Dan and then all of a sudden I just hear from Otto. And I look over at his screen.

He's watching the yard in 2X. 2X. We got a 2X auto chuckle out loud. I'm not offended when he watched in 2X because I actually think he can perceive the world that fast. And that's what I thought too because usually I hate that. And I almost got mad and I was like, Otto, you're a smart guy. Yeah, you're a smart guy.

It's processing so fast. So now I'm playing for the auto 2X. Are you a 1X? For comedy podcast? Is anything sped up? Yeah, I watch a balatra video every night from Dr. Spectard and I watch it in 1.5.

He talks differently to me. It's based off of the narrator. Like if I find a YouTuber and they're like really slow, I'm like, 2X kill yourself. I hate you. What? I don't speed up anything. You don't speed up anything?

He probably should. Anything. Like podcasts? I don't think he could hear the words if he sped him up. I don't think he could process it. I'm sorry for me. Like if Aiden tried to do like Tarrick cereal, it would just be

him eating cereal than getting immediately fucking killed. He would be behind car just waiting and then it's just him dying car and then everyone takes Titan plants. Brains could only do one thing at a time. Your brain for sure. It gets locked in. I'm gross. I'm a 1.8x

podcast. 1.8? Yeah. Even comedy? Comedy is Like, he doesn't list comedy. I don't really listen to any comedy podcasts. Do you laugh faster, too? Yeah.

Yeah, I think if you're interpreting just information, it's like, it's fine to speed it up. Like audiobooks. My argument has always been comedy. It should probably be at 1x. Well, you listen to at like 1.8, like stuff like probably like lemonade. 3x, bro. Lemonade is 3x.

But you listen. Yeah, 100%. 3x and I'm hitting the right arrow every once in a while. You have to, bro. Next topic. With all the ads? I'm trying to watch the YouTube shorts they haven't made yet. fucking a truck starts talking.

It's like Joe Rogan podcast. First five minutes, just skip. Yeah, because he sits there and does like nine fucking ads in a row. Yeah, there's an Adobe lady comes on screen. Yeah. Wow. Get everything set up right. We talk about Adobe Suite. We do eight different meat boxes that you can get to your door beginning of every podcast

episode. Does he still do the meat boxes? Such a crazy sponsor. What? Like manly, like a Joe Rogan listener is like, I do want some fucking steak delivered. We did that once. What? We did the meat for.

a bit. Did the meat? Yeah. They sent us meat and then we did it. What was the meats? I don't remember the meats. We did it. Remind me. Can I say I think delivering meats fine? It's fine. It's just gay. Guy who's trying to think of the dude who jizzed a lot. Yeah, ordering meats get meat delivery. Oh, fuck, I wasn't home for my meat delivery. Where's it going to end up? Oh, your mouth is testing.

I have to go get the meat now because I wasn't home for the meat delivery. Right, okay. I've ordered meats in my house. Okay? Oh. I did. I did. I ordered waggy or Japanese meat.

I remember that. It came in a crazy box. Yeah. It was good ass meat too. And you had some. Yeah, you got meat from the Far East. I had meat. I had Far East meat.

Dude, that's a crazy. That's a crazy music group, dude. Far East meat. Do you guys, this is maybe a vulnerable question. Do you guys, does your girlfriend? ever make you tell bedtime stories? Yeah. Really?

Yeah. I've had to do this a lot and I'm running out of ideas. Yeah, no. You just have to make one up? I have to make them up. You brought this up on the show once and because you did it, my girlfriend said how come you never get? And I was like, dude.

Oh, my bad. You really fucking whatever. It's all good. So I had to tell a bedtime story. I did. She was out in a minute. It worked like like a baby. It worked how it does on a baby.

Oh, my girlfriend. She doesn't fall asleep. bro she's like that was great yeah and now it's time to go to bed wait well like how are you like where are you at now because you keep doing them I you can't run them because with babies you run them back oh yeah she doesn't

she doesn't want to hear the same one and so I had to tell this one where I was pregnant with a lobster and then I give birth to him and he's an adult lobster and he wears a little suit to go find a job in a little briefcase and he shows up at I Show Speed's house and he's knocking on doors of course and you could have had this whole story without you giving birth to it

too. You fucked a lobster. No. Unnecessarily. That part wasn't. Also, I went to jail for 40 years. It's really... It's a big story. I can't tell it all. But basically, Speed does a backflip and then he bends down. He says, you're hired as my accountant. You could be an AI promise. But I will say, I'm like trying to get through this and I'm like, I try to make him

really long so she maybe doesn't want the bedtime story anymore. But I started getting really into it because I found a way to, to tie it back to where he's the account, he's accounted for speed for years and they become a really strong relationship. And then speed does a backflip off of a building in Rio de Janeiro. But, oh my God, a draft takes him off, plummets to the ground. The camera, you just hear it. Car alarm, wah, wah, wah, oh my God.

Oh, my God. Spee's in the hospital. His family's there. The lobster's there. His name is Neil. And Neil Lobster's there. there's an experimental procedure, we can save his mind. How?

It goes into the body of a lobster. Oh my God. Oh my God. The plot of hoppers. I don't know that. It's the plot of hoppers. You wrote hoppers. Really?

Yeah, you row hoppers. You wrote hoppers. And then he becomes one and they have awesome best friends for life. Yeah, a little girl gets put into the mind of an animal. And then she has to understand animals through that lens. And then she's trying to save the environment. I will say speed has always been wonderful to Neil for the past five years they work together because he's an accountant.

Anyway, that, yeah, I don't know if... Can I, I can get you out of this. Please. I think every time you tell the story, it can be a different story. Just make the main character Lacey. I can't do that. You can do that. Every time you go, picture this.

It's a hero. It's Lace. Why don't you just take... She'll be up all night thinking about him. Yeah, that's right. Eventually, on the 17th Lace story, she'd be like, I can't hear it anymore. No, on the 17th one,

she'd be like, I think we need to break up because this guy sounds awesome and he's out there. And he's out there and I'm hunting. And I'm hunting for nice. And I'm hunting meat. You want some genius tech. Take an IP you know she hasn't seen and just tell it to her.

It's like when you call the Christian hotline like, well, I was raised in West Philadelphia. Just metal gear solid. You know? The issue is she's going to watch one metal gear solid video and then world's going to shatter. And then trust is broken. Was that the whole plot of Peace Walker?

Be honest with me. And I knew you didn't watch it. And that's why I did that. It's like, dude, it's like that. That 4chan post where the girl finds out the guy she's been dating just copied drive. Yeah. Which is probably written by a guy, to be honest. I think if you wrote a bunch of nighttime stories for your girlfriend, but it's Faye's lace, but excuse me, core lace.

But he's, and it's like, it's like Nancy Drew. Solving a little mystery. You could go huge with that. And then Lacey tiptoeing By the way. What? He's going to streamer you. I saw him.

I was watching a stream. He was wearing an Argyle sweater. His streams have been kind of fucking chop lately. He's the best mascot. What is he doing in this streamer are you? You're, real quick, you're kind of becoming like,

who's the guy who shot Ronald Reagan? The guy who was trying to impress Johnny Foster? Yeah. I don't know his name. I'm worried you're going to do that, but with Lacey. I don't know because. I'm going to shoot a major political figure.

I'm going to shoot the guy. I'm going to shoot the motherfucker coming to get him. That's what I'm saying, but that's still... You understand? Still not great. John Hinkley, yeah, that's right. John Hing, you're moving like JHJ. Oh, he was a junior. I wonder if his father was disgraced afterwards.

You know he was wearing Argyll. Yeah, I was watching Lace's stream. I would watch that pop up too with clicks, bro. It was a fucking, it was a bad stream. It was a bad stream. But so... Why was it a bad stream? Because it was boring.

Where they were signing the... You would be an awesome experiment for you. You know how like you say like these guys like me and don't remember you or say hi or anything? You should do like, you should show up to all the core pop-ups and just have a conversation with him and see how long it takes from to remember you. But you're on the stream.

You're like the guy who's always on the mister in the background. Dr. Pepper Guy. Dr. Pepper Guy. Dr. Pepper guy. I didn't mean him, but that's a good example. Or what's his name? He has a podcast now. He was the Bill Clinton guy.

Maton Evans. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Kind of like him. I meant Airac. That's what I was trying to get to. Like you're always secretly in the back of the stream. I could be Lacey's air rack.

Yeah. I'm going to follow you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He does not know your name. Of course.

Or my name or your name. He knows your name. I think he probably knows some of your names. No shot. No shot. You know what I think? He should because I write him. I don't know if he read them, he would know.

But I don't know. He's busy. I understand. I don't know. I don't know. It's like, whatever, bro. I got his number. He has all his phase I got today.

Should I FaceTime and ask him? No, I'm not ready. I'm not ready to step to lace like that. You know what I mean? I gotta get my G up. Because it could be like Aiden. I don't want to make him feel like I'm pressing him. Oh my God.

Adelaus. What? He texted? He texted me. You forgot to reply? Three months ago. No way. What did he say?

You want to do a brover's bro? You didn't reply? I ghosted his ass. How about you fucking kill yourself? And then you ghost him again just now. Yeah, it's been three months. Too late. Gigi.

Gigi. Yeah, he's up. He's on the bigger and better. He's doing other shit. Dude, what if you went, what if you guys went ban for band and bro? What was that one of the categories? Just ban for ban.

Ban for ban. What else? Who's got more? Meat delivery. Who's got more meat? Who's got more meat? Just straight up? Yep.

I mean, you go meat for meat. Best contact in the phone. Most force-in-the-phone. Do you do a clout brovie bro? Yep. Thousand on roulette off. This is a genius idea. It's horrible.

You could beat so many. You can't beat lace, of course. You should pick someone else. No, man. You know, I realize I'm a lot. I realize I'm old because everyone was applying a stream review and I thought to myself I could never. Why, bro?

Because I could, I would do it serious. If I was a professor, I'd say 9 a.m., doors closed at 901. Yeah. And I'm teaching. They would love you for that. No one would show up. Yeah, but that'd be funny. This is a great idea.

You've wrapped around to making a funny idea. That is all I do. Is Lace a professor at the universe? He's trying to be a hall monitor. Oh, okay. is what it is. That's a hall monitor. Yeah, it is a glorified hall.

God, I want to, Ludwig. I fucking hated my R.A. Can I use my one time to get in the streamer of you? Can you help me? No, I got a, I got to know a lot. Get him in. Be a fucking friend for once.

Do you see what happens when Ludwig messages some of the biggest stream? Oh my God, dude. What happened? I missed this. Did you have seen? I didn't see it.

He left his ass on red. Yeah. I left lace on red, speed left. You know, there's levels. You heard these levels. There's levels. It's like how Zane can force dog Hunger Box, but Hunger Box can force talk Moki.

It's like sometimes that's just how the game works. Cool as a cucumber. All top players, though. And Rab Monster can forestog Casey. Aiden, what are you doing? No, stop that. No, keep going. Keep going.

Barely a phase. You're so tight. Aiden's been doing a food. Look, I'm making my tummy look like thousand eyes restrict. Okay, Aiden, if we get sidebarred. Aidan's been doing a food protest because this girlfriend wants him to cook dinner for her, but he refuses. I'm going to take your soul.

Yeah. Yeah, that's why he's been doing this. And he starts doing the tummy monster. Yeah, he keeps showing her videos of people making food. I'm gonna take you to the shadow now. He says, eat this. He says, eat this. Should we step in?

This is kind of hilarious. He's clearly not eating. Oh, I've got Mokabas soul inside. Can we sidebar? I feel like we should just tell him about hungry root. I think we should tell him about hunger root because it makes it so simple. I've been using it's 15 minutes. It's so big.

You get to cook a meal. Try to tell him. It's morphine. Hey, tummy monster from Yu-Gio. What? My nourished. What? So we have an idea.

Instead of doing this weird protest that's making your life weird, we could get you on hungry root. Basically, you get ingredients, high quality ingredients to your place. And then the meals will be ready to eat in 15 minutes. You can cook the meals. It's good food. They'll tell you how to make it. It's easy.

They tell you, bro. This shit's easy. Yeah, it's easy. It's really easy. No, no, no, don't do it. Don't do it. No, no. Don't do it.

No, I want to keep their hands off the top. I want to go back. Street corn, cowboy, taco. Terriaki chicken and broccoli bowl. What do you think about that? Honey garlic beef plus Jasmine rice. Would you a girl like street corn? Does they have any like chicken?

Yeah, I'm not a chicken. Terriaki chicken broccoli bowl. They got green chicken tamales. Tamales is, all right. You don't have to torture your partner anymore. It's so hard for me to be normal. Well for a limited time it didn't get 40% off your first box plus get a free item in every box for life. Your life could last an eternity baby too.

It could especially with a thousand years. I guess so fucking you side up. Just go down. root.com, such a yard, use code the yard. Hungaroo.com slash yard, use code the yard. You get 40% off your first box to free army stores. Stop crying. You get a free item for the choice for the rest of your life.

Hey, young man, stop crying. Stop crying. I'm fucking, I'm out. How do you go to the website? I saw my computer and my phone to go to Dueless Kingdom. Hungaroo.com slash the yard. You're a lost cause. You know what? Don't eat for the rest. Sorry. Don't eat for the rest of your life.

How do I go? But yeah, I got, I got put on, I invited speed to streamer game. Yeah. And I say, I've only messaged him three times. First time was when he did a crypto sponsor with a fake Cristiano Ronaldo. I said, hey, man, I really like his streams.

I think it was a bad. I think you should avoid doing stuff like this. You said that? Yeah. You gave him unsolicited advice? Yeah, I said, hey, I know this is unsolicited advice. I think he took the advice even though he didn't reply? Huh?

No. I think he didn't read it, probably. But, and then the second message was we want to go to stream games. And the third one was, just bumping this. Oh, yeah. The bump was the one that everyone was. saw.

No worries if you didn't have time but no worries bro. That's crazy. Okay, you want, you want, but you have to send it.

You want a pro tip? What? I'll give you a method. Giraff, mind explosion, uh, Memoji. Well,

just send it raw. I do this, by the way, I do this chat. Like I did it with, you also make it eat pussy. With Papa Plot, I just typed

I need, I need you. Papa Plot? Papa Plot. So you sent him a giraffe and you're making it a video and it's eating pussy. Popa pot.

Wait, what? I missed the pussy part. Send him exactly this. Say, I can't shake the thought of you, period. And then be the giraffe

in the Memoji video eating pussy. Yeah. And his mind is still ex one. And then send another text that's just a space and then it's what just shows

the bubble. Like you accidentally sound like an extra little enter. You know? And then say, sorry. I remove the bubble.

I typed I needed. I just typed I need you. And that worked. The pop a plot. Really? The issue is I I need you. Speed is bigger leagues than that.

He said for what? And then I said what? And then he didn't reply. Now I do the draft. You're a fucking maniac. No, he didn't reply. Oh, he didn't reply. He didn't reply after Ludwig told him.

Basically, it's like... What if you try to like... What if you try to like entrap him? What if you set up like a Lamborghini driving competition and the first to jump over it wins? And you do all these speed-like challenges. Right. You announce them early.

Okay. Yeah, you do a... Hey, doing Ludwig's backflip competition and you invite everybody but him. The million dollar fastest streamer contest. advertise that Christianano Rinaldo is coming. For real. But I thought

would just be lying. No, no, of course it's lie. Lying's awesome. Fraud. But you say, no, it doesn't matter. You can lie. You can get away with lying. It's not fraud.

Fraud is such an annoying word. You get a real man named Christiana Ronaldo to come. You just don't show any pictures. Literally what he did. That was my first message to not do this. No, no, but there's no crypto. Yeah. Yeah, that's what made it.

There's no crypto. There's no, no. You're trying to get speed, bro. I feel like, okay, here's what I do. It's like when Aden Ross I tweet out $10,000 100 meter dash inviting all streamers. And I have the fastest man alive coming. You should have a, are you faster than speed category?

And people race his time. Oh, his time would be good. That's good. And then if he doesn't show up, it's just like a cutout. And he's just at the end. Yeah, it's just like this. That's not like that. Yeah.

That's good. Get somebody who looks like I show speed now. Yeah. Like he had someone who looks like Gersiana Ronaldo. Risky. Because then you gotta be like, I found someone who I think looks like I show speed. Hands on his shoulder shaking. One to one.

And you know what? It's not. And then it's really bad. You keep saying it's not. It just will be. Okay. Well, speed won't come because he's slow. He can't even run really fast.

God, he's slow as shit. He's slower? I think Ashton Hall, if he didn't trip, he would have won that race. They ran back. Too much meat on him. They ran it back too time. He's so awesome looking. Have you guys seen the video of the, um,

The man with the fat ass shooting guns at the gun range yet? Yeah. Yeah. The guy with the first male lesbian. Dude, it shakes so unbelievable. Is this guy with the fat ass? It's always got the fat ass? He's probably always had a fat ass.

I think you're talking about someone different. No, no, you're talking about the guy who stuffed his pants. Yes. This is a man with, he's all natie. Genuine. He's a natural. Baseball player? No, no, he's just like a guy.

I don't think he could. I don't think he could play baseball. Every baseball player's got a crazy ass. No, zipper. Just look up. How do you find a male fat ass? You type in male lesbian. into Twitter. Male lesbian. The first male

lesbian, I think, is what the post is called, which I think is a bad caption. I think there's a funnier caption for sure. But God, does it, it's hypnotizing. His butt? It's like the way his pants also jiggle. And you're not. The pants jiggle separate from the butt. Do you understand? This is the gays you've been.

And what is wrong with that? Nothing. I'm just pointing it out. In a time like this. I'm pointing it out. It's just, it's just is. Can I not point it out? It's a fact. It just is. Happy bride. Here it is. You'll understand it's not gay when you watch.

Oh my God, man. Look at what? Oh my. Look at it. Yeah, the, the pack really helps too. You can tell it's like, it's,

it's, it's, it's, influencing how he runs on the top half too. Dude, he looks like those modded street fighter characters

that have crazy proportions in every move in the game. Oh my, and the jeans are tight as, just fuck. I don't even want to say anything because this guy looks, and he's just point blank,

putting him down. He looks like he could kill him. Well, I think he's shooting over the show. shoulder here. He could kill me. You can kill me with a gun. He can kill me with a gun. The G-forces. The thing is, when you need to pull out your sidearm, they say... In the military, they say something. If you have to pull out your

sidearm, you're already dead. But not this guy. No, no, no. A-6? And he's got a cup holder. I love dumping the AR-15 into a barrel. Barrel needs it. Barrel's hungry. I need like a slow-mo guy's video with this guy. Wait, does that say... It's just him running? No, it's like them like

firing a fucking paintball out of his ass. Dude, that is a video they would have made back in the digits Baywatch. Yeah. Yeah. Do you think, well, you're gonna be 31,

bro. Yeah. You think about that? No, I don't think 31 matters. More importantly, I'm gonna be 30. Very serious.

Do you think about that? I haven't really been thinking about it. Do you think about that? You're gonna be 30 in a little bit. I mean, he'll be the last one to join us. Yeah. Hayden's there.

You're, you got to 30 before me, like, like, weirdly. Like, like, like,

like the Koreans. I think I'm turning 32 next year basically. You started at one. Yeah. No, I don't really think about it. I don't think about it. I think... Should!

I had a moment. I had a moment where I was like, oh God, I'm turning 30. And I was like... And I was like, do I need to care about this? And I ultimately decided I don't need to care about it. I feel like you have a weird problematic age gap with a girl. My girl?

Yeah. Oh. She has 31st. Because she has 31st. Yeah. She groomed you. 20-year-old with a 30-year-old. Yeah.

What a disgusting setup you've got. Ass like that though. Yeah, how could I? You know, maybe you say bedtime stories. Let's not get political about it. Let's keep it above board. No, back to the bedtime story thing.

Because she, so she asked me to tell her bedside. I told her bedtime story. I did great. Crushed it. And then the next night. How do you know you crushed it? You can just tell when a reader is fucking engaged. You fell asleep.

She fell asleep. If you opened your mouth and the sounds of a construction zone came out, she would still fall asleep. falls asleep during some of the best movies ever made. That's what I'm saying. Yeah, so that is a good question. How do you know you did a good job? Because I've seen her stay up for like six episodes of like,

what's that YouTube series with the guys and the panel and they did, I can't remember his name. Fuck, I'm losing it. Panels? Iron chef. No, it's like the, he's like the, it's like they're all bunch of black friends and they do like comedy. Linus tech tips.

No, not. Loiter squad? Blacker. Oh, you've shown us this channel. Yeah. Yeah. You know what I'm talking about. Yeah, I do.

The something, somebody show. Yeah. and she's wide awake and that's a lot you know and then when it comes to fucking let's watch like Magnolia so I'm more in the camp of film

your art but the point of what I'm trying to get to it's not about my stories it's about her stories because the next fucking night she's like do you do you want to me to tell you a bedtime story

oh my god and I said you know I would love that would love it I gotta take out my fucking bed air pod yeah you know you know bed air pod

I need a bed air pod I've been rocking a bed pod Really? Because you want to watch videos on your phone. I want to watch a video to fall asleep. Yeah, I just watch her video. She doesn't want to hear Bellatra sound. She goes to sleep before me.

I got to be. I watch a video loud. What? Do you actually? I watch the video on my phone out loud, yes. I don't. But you believe him. You go to bed before your girlfriend every night.

That's different. I fall asleep before her, but we go to bed same time. Because she's not asleep. It is a little different. She's trying to go to sleep. Yeah. You're listening full blast. Hotsundas.

Yeah. Or Eric or something. I'm watching an awesome air rack. But my girl don't give me, my girl don't give me different bedtime stories. She cliffhangers me each night and then has one story over the course of a month. That's really, that's such a smart idea.

So you're still in the middle of a story? Yes. Yeah, I'm in the middle of one. What am I, am I supposed to feel sorry for you? He's a duck, but he's a duck that's shaped like a sailboat. She never really explained it.

And sometimes you can roll bed. And he's, or good. He has a family of, I think it's 22 other ducks. Ducklings. Wow. That's big.

That's big for ducklings. And he met a king frog. No, sorry. A frog wearing a crown. And I said, so he's a king. And he went, no. I said, I'm sorry. Is it supposed to be like a game where you participate or is she telling a fucking

story? She's clearly mad when I participated. Yeah. Clearly. Why are you jumping in? You're fucking it up. Because she'll say things. You need a yard podcast.

And then I'll say what she said back to me. And she goes, no, because she'll realize it doesn't make sense. And then she'll change the story. Anyway. It's a bit of a field day situation was. Then the duck stole the crown and took the lily pad. It wasn't supposed to. It's a long thing.

I won't get into all of it. But I've been in the middle of that story for a while. Is there filler? Like, are you in a filler arc right now? Girl, is there filler? If we did like the one piece with the slop remove, this would have been a one night story. Wow.

Okay. But I'm in. I'm riveted. I want to know what happens. Of course. You're a pot committed. Sometimes fill is right. You need the episode where the not king.

frog goes to like a ramen shop with his friend. It's beef right now. I think she's like kind of just taking a little bit of like euphoria story maybe in like free package. So one of them starts an only fan. She's doing only fans. And she advertises gene company and people didn't like it.

The frog that is. We were too hard on Sydney for that. We were too hard on Sydney because what? For the gene part thing? Yeah man. We're too hard on her for that. American Eagle jeans and because she didn't know man. She didn't fucking know better. Should I showed up for the shoot. Do you do any bedtime stories?

You got a cute nighttime thing going on? I'm watching my video full fucking blast. Like max volume. Like I can't hear it. And if something funny, oh, we're banging the nightstand. Oh, we're slamming that nightstand really hard. What are you watching?

What are you watching? Fucking the lamps fucking jiggling around. You know what? I had this thought this weekend. I've been disillusioned with YouTube. I think YouTube videos are too formulaic. Okay. Because there's a lot of

of lot of videos. Great title. Great thumbnail. I'm like, this will be awesome. And then I watch it and I was like, they're just fucking phoning it in.

They're just doing what you're supposed to do. Thank you, dude. You made the sandwich. Thank you, dude. Your algorithm's your algorithm. I know,

but like, I'm saying they're good at getting me in and I think they have a nice concept with the actual video itself. Like, like, and I'm gonna, I don't put anyone blast. Okay.

And I like his channel. Okay. Okay. Smoke. up it. I'll put three people on blast. Max Fosh didn't care for the most recent video. God, I know him.

What's the, it's like, what was the video called? I tricked Hollywood that I was a British royal. I was like, I don't feel like you tricked them. This guy, I took the loneliest cruise in America, but you just took an Alaskan cruise. And I'm like, dude, you're just on a cruise in Alaska.

Like, people, this is just a nice... It's a right off scam. What do you follow about the... What do you want to see more of on YouTube, Ludwig? I wanted to see the loneliest cruise. Yeah. But not. So,

oh, so your problem is not the content. It's the clickbait and then not following up on it. It's the lack of trust. I felt like, yes, I felt like we did not deliver

on what was promised. Yeah. And I wanted to see the delivery completed. This is how I feel about the new ARAC video. I watched it. Wait, did you really? I watched the whole thing.

What is it? What's the concept? It's how many days can I live inside Disneyland? And it's a competition between him and two other, YouTubers. Compelling concept. I think it actually

starts off pretty well. Because this is actually every time I go to dinner, QD, I go, I'd sleep there overnight. My guess is they don't spend a single night there. Basically, Iraq Manit successfully spends one night there and wins. And by proxy of the other two, basically

not trying. And that's what the video feels like to be. So that's his day seven. Oh, this is different. He actually got away with sleeping in Disney. He got away with it. It's a different video. I think just in Aerex video, they blow it.

And it feels like if you were tryharding, you wouldn't have gotten caught this way. Yes. And I feel like a lot of YouTube videos have that. And I've been feeling this a lot. Video essays are the worst perpetrators of this. There's been a huge down swing and downtick of video essays being kind of shitty lately. They're so bad now. I think people are just better at making things that prefer.

form well than good videos. I do think there's a shadow government happening where a lot of video essays are actually using AI to write their video app. And they'll still narrate them. They'll still make them the way they usually do, but the AI is not good enough to

make a human point and it's showing and it's really annoying because that's what was my favorite content. It still kind of is. Like I watch a lot of that shit and it's getting worse. Yeah. And it's, can you do? And it's made me watch more stream, but streams aren't really good when it's

1 a.m. in his bedtime. What about Slime stream? You're not on at 1am. You've been streamed in like a week or two. Dude, and I'll say it, I miss it. Really? I tune in, man. The TV's off, man. You know, like the TV on is on? Alright! Someone said to me recently, they said, what do you think slime's

gonna play next? And I said, I hate to break it to you. I don't know if there's something. There will be eventually, but not on the right now. It's got to fly across my desk naturally. It's going to happen. But like, Counterstike, your nighttime routine, you're blasting your videos. Blasting it is full volume.

Yeah. And I'm going, I'm going, I'm going, ugh. It doesn't deliver on the fucking premise. Yeah. What's she doing? And she's like, can you keep it down? I'm like, it's not delivering. He's not a fucking delivering. Because it's not a lonely cruise. She's in Alaska. Yeah. And

and then, actually, you know the biggest issue we've been having recently? Is I wake her up every morning and I don't know how to not. She gets mad that you wake her up? she don't get mad but she gets woken up and she can't fall back asleep Are you trying to be quiet?

So initially no Okay Don't look at me like that Don't look at me like no Whoops I don't fucking care Initially no No I get up

I get up and I go And I get in her face and I'm like You like that You like good morning my beautiful girlfriend And I breathe out There's a green stink line And I go, you. And I float over to the same.

I've been having this issue in the morning where I, because she told me this. And then I'm trying to be cognizant of it. It was like hard to not be loud. I was like bumping in and shit. Dude, you're talking about getting out of bed and leaving the room. Getting out of bed, going to the bathroom, brushing teeth, washing face. Yeah. Getting out.

Yeah. And you always leave a big fart in the morning in the toilet too. Iron ironically. last one, yeah. Yes. And you go, oh. You go, oh, scary. And then you hear Max Foshkar.

I pretend it to be a British royal. And then you flush, you wipe. You fart in the toilet, you flush wipe bidet. So anyway, I've been, every time I wake up now, my first thought is like, you know, I'm trying to be like, Vindies on the pacifier. I'm trying to be fucking tactical about getting out.

Yes, of course. And so I, I woke up and I said no alarm. I was like, I'm just gonna get up because the alarm was also doing it. You know you do? You set, like an auto, you have auto make you like a raspberry pie and you put just your favorite movie

to play in the morning. Then she'll just stay fucking knocked out because girls can't stay awake. It's your favorite. That means a lot to you. You don't watch this movie with me. They just fucking knock out cold. She'll never wake up.

Yeah, he'll just sleep forever. As long as it plays. Honestly, wake up when you're going to watch a movie. whenever you want, whenever you're ready to go back into all that. She will, she will,

you know. I get up today, I said no alarm, I slip out of the bed, I literally tiptoe. And you're joan. I'm like turning the door handle, like,

do you have loud doors in your house? It's a little loud, but I do it real quiet. I open it. I keep it taught. I go to the other side that doesn't click. And then I close it

and then I walk away. I come back like an hour later. She's like, yeah, woke up. But I appreciate you trying to be quiet. I could tell. I was like, what? How? A for effort. I can't do better. This is it. I have some tech right now that so like if I really late like three, four a.m. If I just roll in bed like to the other side, she never wakes up. But if I get into bed at that same time up. What I tried to do is I get in as quiet as I can, you know, door tech, you know. You do a fast swing to get past

this week part and then he's slow and you get to bed and I try to get as low as possible and then I kind of roll into the bed so it feels like I'm rolling in bed already here I've always been here getting out it's the issue not getting in so you get a roll like you roll I rolled I rolled I rolled I rolled but do you stand at some point yes no he already fucking it up what you wouldn't stand if you're rolling around in bed you got to roll and you got to never stop rolling but how do I get out of the bed out of the roll out of the roll out what roll out what you're How do I get to the door? Push a position.

Crawl. What? You're car. You think I crawl. Like Spider-Man going up the wall, Toby McGuire, but you're on the ground. Dude, if I could go up the wall. And then you need to spread your cheek when you do the fart in the toilet.

Like, you have to silent. It's so hard. The silent drop is hard, but there's a lineup. You know, the lineup is... I went to a different bathroom this morning. I was gonna say that was my... I did go downstairs to a different bathroom.

The issue was not getting... It was the door. Leave the door open. How about remove the door? Oh, it's cleaner. Remove the door. And then what's going to stop? Well, she likes a door close because the cats stay in.

Cats? I make a cat door. I make a cat door. I make a cat door. Human-sized cat door. You want to keep the cats in. A human-sized cat door that they can't reach. Ah, it's like a door.

We made a door again. It's like shaped. I think we made a door. What if it's a door with a big hole in it? And I had to jump through it. You have to jump through it. And they can jump through it. And they can't jump right.

It's a high. So this is at a height. It needs to be at like a weight that only your body is big enough to push. Here's a fucking run-up every morning. Yeah. And then I fucking miss and I shatter the doorframe. Well,

it's funny, all this talk about girlfriends. Aiden's girlfriend was here the whole weekend. Where's here? Sam. Oh, yeah. At the office. Petophile Sam.

His true partner. Oh, sorry, pedophile Ben. No. Ben was here last week. Yes. Dr. Noodle Slam was here. Dr. Noodle Slam.

Not to be confused. Not a pedophile. My apologies. Tell you what. Dr. Nuddle Slam. Waking my girlfriend up. Really?

Yeah. Why? Because he's getting into bed. I had nightmares. Hey, guys. Who? I'm cold.

Hey, I think you got sleep apnea. It's like 7 a.m. Like tapping her forehead. Hey, sleep apnea. We need to get you a CPAP. I can help you.

You need to get you. of Christian. I love him so much. I love him so much, but he is a terrorist because he like, he stands when he pees, but he doesn't clean up. Oh. Really? So he leaves Piddle. Lose a little piss. And then and then he likes getting up early. He goes to bed early,

wakes up early. Girlfriend loves sleeping in on a weekends. Yeah. Not compatible. She's teetering. How really is he up? He's waking up at like, he's out of bed before seven. Oh. That's a doctor's schedule? On a weekend? On a weekend? Because he's just, he, that's what he does do.

And he's loud out there? No, he's not. And he's pissing like a preschooler in your back. To be honest with you, he's not loud. And he pisses. God, I love your fucking cool house. And I think girlfriend was at the, the, the tattered edge. Because coincidentally, we had four different friends stay with us back to back four weeks.

The guy who said yes to them. Guy, I would invite it all. Wait, wait, wait, I didn't know, her friend. No, we don't believe you. We have more fun they can play you. You just talked about pedophile Ben. What? Pedophile Ben was one of the four.

We went 50-50. That was worse. That was her first. We were 50-50. But whose pedophile was it? Your pedophile or her pedophile. My pedophile. Okay.

And that's just good to know. Ludwig still has a grudge against you. And I'll never forget how fucking mad he was is when it was all those Australians staying in our place for Genesis back. We all lived together like in the small house. Yeah. And like Ludwig, all these guys stayed here for like a week plus and so many guys. And then.

Later on it was like Fat Goku, ginger, like a couple more people were going to stay after them. And Ludwig's like, get him a fucking hotel. Get him a fucking hotel. I don't fucking, it's too many fucking people. It's been two fucking weeks. It was like chewing you out. I actually forgot about this. I don't even remember this.

You were so mad. It was awesome. That was what we learned how to, we played four square with the bouncy ball. Yeah, which was fine. But then Genesis is over. And then all the Australians like leave or some of them staggered away. And then more people come. And Ludwig is furious, bro.

His friends. Hayden is throw the hands up friends. And they all fucking throw their hands up and pee on the fucking toilet. Yeah. And that's great. But he's a doctor. So it's like, what can I do? And he's a doctor. What can I do? Mogged forever.

And so what? She eventually gets up 7.15. She says, you have to leave. Picks him out. Yeah. Fucking beast mode. Put her foot down. You got to put your foot down sometime.

Got that guy out of there. So what does he do seven till you get up? Seven. To be honest, I've been getting up like by seven. they're like, oh, yuck. A week. He just told us this whole. He didn't say 7.30.

You're on the Patreon. I'm getting up in 730. It was a great episode. Huh? And I've been running. You have been running. He's very sweet watching Aiden and Sam hang out because they've known each other for so long. And they're very, like, Sam just like reading a book.

And then Aiden will just like say something. And Sam will go, hmm. And it's just, it's like his brother. And I just got to be there and see it. And also Sam will get on Aiden's computer and make music. Oh, he was in the doll? Yeah, he got on FL Studio for the day, and I was like, I'll give my son my computer

while I work on the couch with just my laptop. Do you have beats? Yeah. And then he dug through my beat from the beat off, got the ghouls out of it. Yeah, the ghouls were in it. Solved the ghoul problem, and then made hit two of his own.

And he kept talking about it. He was like, oh my God, dude, fucking FL Studio 3. This is so awesome. This is so much better than what I have. It was like, just fucking... You're a doctor. It's $100.

You're a medical resident. Do you even have the paid version? Huh? You can get it free. Yeah, I got the paid version. Oh, you got the paid version. I expensed it. No wonder you beat me, bro.

No wonder you fucking beat me, bro. Boy, yeah, bitch. That's the only reason you fucking beat me, by the way. Because I paid for the program? You paid a win, congratulations. Don't you have to pay him? I actually thought you had to pay. I got third.

You stole first. You stole it. Yes. Oh, I'm sorry. Everyone is a lifetime of, a lifetime of interest in rap music. That's how I stole it. from you? You saw first, not from me.

From him. Yes. The first thing you said, Ludwig, you cock sucker. The first thing you said after you listen to my song. I think what convenience is me in the moment. So don't use my words against me. Because what I said, I didn't believe. Really? It's cheating to use Kelby. That's really exactly what he said.

Because I watched it back. I watched the final, the full cut came out of his son. He's lashing out. You know what is interesting? I think this is a picture of Ludwig's audience, is that most of them were like slime should have won. which I, slime, don't believe in. I think I had the second best one or whatever you want to call it.

And it's like, you guys are wrong. How many people are wrong? Earl sweatshirt wrapped over. Look, you're saying the Ludwig audience, the views on that beat. Oh, sure. Jeez, it's going pretty crazy. I mean, you just steal something

from more talented people and then you talk over it. You win. You're going nuts. I did it. Rap is easy and requires no life experiences to talk about. You're doing better in the most recent,

what's his name? Sweezy? Squeezie? Squeezie the French guy. No. What do you're trying to think of? What's he doing? He does wraps.

Is a white guy he does wraps? Spose. Spose? You're doing better than the most reason. Spos for sure. Did I get there? No, it wasn't Spos another guy. Oh.

The novelty of me doing it once is the fun part. Squeezzy Jibs? No, that's the... Oh. Me and my girlfriend don't do bedtime stories. I'm worried she might hear this. Yeah, because you can't tell fucking stories. Oh my God.

His would suck so bad. Okay. Here's a bad time story. It reads the back of a fucking manual. Reads his Jeddah how to clean, how to clean the door jam. There was a guy. His name was Jim.

Had a wife kid, died. Talked about how he almost went on a trip once. For 30 minutes. You know? Fuck you. Wait. Fuck you, bro. You know what we do?

We do something fucking cute, dude. He boots up a story. So I was walking through Skid Row. Yeah, I actually can't. I don't have to tell you a story. I just told one. You can listen on the, all,

it's the same thing. I'm telling it. What do you mean? I'm not telling it to you. What do you mean? I'm not telling it twice. I don't want to do the late. Do you are you creaming your pants?

New Sorkin Facebook movie? Are you fucking creaming your little pants? You know, I did cream my little jorts, but for a totally unrelated reason, because one of the frames of like a cool, it's like the cool inside shot of a building. And I was like, oh my God.

I know that. I know exactly where that is. Dude, it's a UBC where they used to host Battle of BC. Oh, yo. And it was a litter. I was like literally the same building. Wow. But I cream my George for that reason.

It was made for you. So it's made for me. It's like how they got a good movie. Incoming prediction, sidebar, you just, you're out. He's going to pick piano back up. When this movie drops, he's going to pick piano back up.

No, he's not. You want to $5 on it? I'm taking the piano today. No. You want to practice a piano. You didn't fucking ever have a sidebar. My piano. saw something.

And he doesn't play it. Answer two, it doesn't matter. There's one piano, it's my piano. He doesn't play it, so I'm taking the piano. You can take the earmuffs off. You're going to pick it back up, though. What's up? So the thing we do, that's really cute.

We tell each other our gratefuls every night. Oh, really? Okay. So we have to say one thing we're grateful for in general, and then one thing about each other or our relationship we're grateful for. And we say every night before we go to... I would kill myself if I had to do something like that. Why? We have a very simple language.

We have monkey time. And monkey time just means we're going to bed. I would kill myself if I told you what I'm grateful for. Anyway, me and my girlfriend, we make small monkey noises. It's honestly, it's more sweet. We have monkey time. And then we go, it's monkey time, and then we go to bed. We go to sleep.

When does this is a bedtime story? I will say, monkey time is. Monkey time is the bedtime story. But sometimes... How are you not following? Yeah, it's kind of simple. Ni'how. Nehow.

We'll boost your people. What? Fuck. Who was that? Not again. What happened? I'm stressed, guys. I got too many fucking people to talk to in too many different apps.

And I just spoke to my French guy in Chinese. Oh, that's really bad. Did you try to Snapchat them again? I don't think they have that. I've been snapping all these fucking kids. You gotta, you gotta consolidate. You gotta consolidate, yeah. Especially if there's different age ranges.

You got to consolidate to one place. Yeah, but there's no way to do that. You just have to have every single. app and then switch to the app to communicate with whatever their preferred mode of communication. I think you make running your business really hard and if you just had one place where like all your calls, texts

and like WhatsApp messages and Slack stuff, it all came in in one spot so you can monitor it easier. He's in Shao Young County. It doesn't matter what county he's young in. Today's episode is brought to you by Quo, spelled QUO Ludwig. The smarter way to run your business communication. You're doing business right? Yeah,

I'm doing business and by the way, he's 47 months old. You're talking to 47 He has a month old person with a phone. He's a small business leader. Why would the child have a business? Whatever neurochip child you're talking to that runs a drop shipping company, it doesn't matter because one of 90,000 businesses, solar operators, growing teams, they use Quo to stay connected. You could be one of these people.

This kids probably use Quote right now. I think most of them stay connected to other businesses that are run by adults. I'm just going to go through. I have texts. I have calls. I have transcripts. I have voicemails. Like it's not going to cover all of that.

It does. It covers. And it covers all that. It's contacts as well. I know it gets confused, right? I know you get confused all these damn people in your damn life. This is what you needed this whole time. You honestly look foolish for not using it.

I appreciate that. Ludwig, make this year where no opportunity, no customer, no child slips away. That's QUO for free, plus to get 20% off your first six months when you go to QUO.com slash the yard. That's QUO.com slash the yard, Ludwig. That's so awesome, Nick. And sorry, does it say verbatim next to call to action? It does say verbatim, and that's what Nick said. I said it exactly as written.

Quo, no missed calls, no missed customers. Girl talk is a private affair, right? The way you talk to your girls are private affair? I thought it's intimate. What do you mean? It's intimate. What do you mean, girl talk is a private affair? You talk to your girl.

Maybe at the twilight of night. It's inherently private, but I'm not saying anything I probably wouldn't say in this podcast. You use cute girlfriend voice. I'm not saying it's it's unable to be heard. It's intimate. Of course. Yeah, it's intimate. but the truism

but I think there's there's relatabilities across how you maybe maybe you do use a you don't have a voice you don't have a voice I think there's sometimes maybe there's a voice

maybe there's a vernacular oh he does beep yours is unrelatable Bb yes B B B B as B what? Yours is unrelatable fucking sound off I get his

I get his what are you talking about I got I don't get yours sound off in the comments you know what I say I say we're like laying and we're about to go to bed and I say we're monkeys

and we're married and we're married and we're in the tree and we're married because yeah, we're married. This is how's improved my point? What are you talking about? I just don't relate to it.

How do you not relate to that? You've never said you're never said you shit like that. I've never ever. I've never said you. Not really. Really? I mean, where's the Wednesday? I'm, I'm, he's bunny and I'm a little mouse.

Oh my God. Wow. You shouldn't have told me that, bro. I'm gonna make your life shitty boy. I'm a little mouse. I'll make your life shitty for that. Next time me and you in a locker or in the same 100 yard vicinity, bro,

I get comfortable. I'm hole and she's fist. You better get comfortable with me. You better get comfortable with me because your girlfriend is going to leave you. And my girlfriend is going to leave me for each other. For each other. But we're going to be alone. It's just going to be me and you one bit.

It's me, him in a lacy dress. Mm-hmm. I can't stop thinking about it, bro. Nick keeps talking in the group chat about how he wants to see Aiden in a lacy dress. He doesn't say that. Nick dropped this, just sentence, no context. I've been thinking about you in a lacy dress. I can't shake that thought.

I can't stop covering you. Zipper three. sees this on my phone and says, what does that mean? And I looked at her and I was like, I feel like it's so clear. Couldn't be more clear. He's thinking about it.

Yeah, it's face up, really. I can't stop putting fucking lotion on you in my mind. That's what I want to do. When he came in all stressed, I wanted to wash all the stress often. Wait, why are you stressed? We never. I wanted to wash him to be stressed.

No, we didn't really get. You're all stressed. You're busy. But you're always busy. I'm busy. He's busy to a point where there's no play. There's no play. I'm not playing.

You guys, some play. There's some play, bro. No play. You don't play. I'm not gonna no play. No play. What did you do this morning before you got here? You got here, damn two p.

I don't play? I got to play this morning. I findberg over. I was, I was... That's play. He said, some play. Really nice guy.

What? What you said? What did you say? I don't like him. You don't like him. I don't like him. I don't like fucking get... Then say that.

That's why I don't like him. No, no, no, no, that's not why you don't like him. I don't like him despite that. I like that part about him. Slime's going to meet him in like half an hour and love him. Be like, that guy's great. I don't think so. He's been very sweet.

And he's going to look at you in the eyes and say, he's going to say, hi, I'm Feiberg. No, he's not. Yeah, he's going to be very sweet and double lift's going to, hey him. Why? He ain't going to walk in. You're going to go, Kelbo. And then Kelbo's going to go, Peter.

And they're going to do a secret fucking handshake, and then you'll look at you. you got trash. I've met Peter. Fuck off. He don't remember you. You don't care. You don't remember you. I respect him.

I think Pete. I can remember. Don't call him Pete. Pete? Pete's can't remember me. Pete does not remember Slot. What about Aiden? I'm fine with that.

Why does he know you? I mean, I have met him, but I think by power of association. You never did acid with him and crimson blur and look the damn moon and shit. I didn't do acid with Pete. I wouldn't do acid with Pate.

I don't think he would do acid with you. Just fucking throw that down. I wouldn't do it with him. Because him and Kelby probably doing acid every other night. Yeah, they're called the Summoners Rift Psychonauts. They're going fucking stupid.

And I'd love to leave that to them. It's a... Go do your thing. I'm going to fucking... Anyway, you got to stop this cycle. Break your shit. You got to stop your cycle just finding someone new

and then saying they're... Really nice guy. Yeah. Because you know what's going to happen is his fan base gonna see this, they're gonna feel bad. I think they'll, and it's gonna be out of context,

so they're gonna see you in a Bitcoin Latin mat. Yep. You have to think about, you have to think about every clip of this episode is gonna be you in that act. You look like a Connor O'Malley character.

You know? It's just an insane guy. The rocks have Wi-Fi. The Wi-Fi ruined your balls. They ruin your balls. Don't put it on there then. I'm gonna avoid this guy. I'm not.

I don't trust him I don't trust anybody You don't trust anybody You don't trust anybody? You don't inherently trust double if because he's good at league I trust double if I trust double if my life

What about you? So that's somebody Something about What about your girlfriend When it's monkey time Only when it's monkey time So I mean it's like How you're married

How could she deceive me It'd be crazy to deceive them They're married That would be terrible So okay but you do you respect all the because he's good at league. I think I respect him because he's good at a lot of things

and I think his personality is also I don't know, I've known about him for a long time. The length you've known. Do you respect Minecraft skill less than league skill? Definitely. A hundred percent. Definitely.

It's not even a question. I'm not going to snap call that, but, uh... What? What do we do? I don't know if I, I don't know if I necessarily agree. I don't want to, I don't want to say.

Oh. I don't think, I have the necessary slicing up your cock. I don't think I have the faculty necessary to say such a thing. I don't dare take a position here. I take a lot of position. I took a position you want to say my position again? Yes.

What's his first name? I'm not telling you that. That's what the fuck I thought. That's what the fuck I thought. I respect skill in any game that is player versus player way more than any game that is player versus game. Yeah. That's not even close. Way more. Way more.

Regardless of game? regardless of game. Like you respect a professional smite player more than the world record. The audience matters. The player base matters. Player base size matters.

This is why I think speed running. And do we have a bigger player base to Minecraft? League? Is league a bigger player? Do we have a bigger player base than Minecraft as a game? League.

Are you saying league is a bigger player base? I don't know what you're saying. What is the biggest player base? No, but not the biggest competitive. It's a dumb thing to, It's, you know what you're doing. You know, this is disingenuous.

I know. I watched his face realize his argument bad. I actually saw it. I said, oh, this Mikev is the largest player base. The best of the biggest spirit are. You probably respect

Wii sports more than Minecraft. There might be a similar amount of people who play Smite than the speed run. Actually, Minecraft's so more. There might be a similar in a minute. Ridiculous. I don't know, man. The posture.

Everyone who plays smite, plays smite. Throw it out. Throw it out. Get it out of it. Throw it out of it. It's gone. Look up Smite SteamDB. Nah, not close.

Now look up Minecraft speedrun.com. Wait, is this Smite 2 or Smite 1? Are we specifically asking about Smite? Go to SMITSR now? Why don't I know this? Yeah, I think I... Hey! Better.

That is better. That's about as many tech and players that are. Uh-oh. 7K. There are probably less people speed running Minecraft right now. At this very moment, I don't know if it's public. Like, here's my beef, and it's something I've been thinking about. And I think Minecraft speed running is cool.

I watch Liam all the time. I don't like how they think e-sports is good. Like, they are... They like doing the comment. I've watched some of the pro stuff, and they commentate it like it's sports, and they're doing the same mistake, that I think it's a mistake,

of turning it into like a simulacrum of sports, which is like what has been wrong for... I think they just want to see... We're going to glaze past Simulacrum. No. To a guy like me, that's making the rounds. To a guy like me, that's like saying the, you know what I mean? Like, I'm not going to like put focus on that.

If you do yard search... Ooh, M2A. There's one Simulacrum ever. That's definitely not true. We've never seen... Simulacrum is making the rounds because of a popular video about Joe Rogan and it's dispersing through the internet. It's becoming more popular.

I don't know if that's why he said. I don't know what the fuck you're talking about. I don't watch internet. I see this word like once a month. No, you don't. I literally do. I'm telling you, it's making the rounds. Oh, look at this.

Kill yourself. I wasn't there. In my defense, I wasn't at Pontons. Yeah, that is, okay, that's actually a pretty good defense. Oh, yeah, in the episode. That's actually a strong defense. It is one time ever, not monthly. And I was not present.

On the pod, I meant in my life. I see. I count. We're monkeys. We're married. It's a simulacrum of life. It's a simulchum of life. You know what?

It is. Uh, yeah, sorry. So you don't respect. I think it's more about like they want to see their game up in lights, the one they care about. You know, and they don't know other way. You know why I think it's actually really good?

It's because the Minecraft viewer is a kid, is a little-ass kid, right? Or it could be, right? So that's what a kid, it should cater to that. It shouldn't be like smash. I think Minecraft is like... I'm not saying it's got to be fast and loose and there's like...

It shouldn't be like an adult game like Smash, brother. It should be like a kid thing. I mean in the sense of like Smash culture and commentary. I think it's kind of adult. I am from an older perspective and I'm seeing a mistake. be made that has already been made by a grassroots community that I think is the wrong direction though yeah they had like a choice to make if they had like a cool I mean it's just like you know it's a big lift to reinvent the wheel with like how you run your competitive scene right like someone

creative needs to step in yeah I mean it's doing it is already hard enough I feel there's an idea so as you commentate a game right as and I've commented games before a lot and you do what everyone else is doing because that's what the culture tells you to do and the culture is telling Minecraft Speed running commentary in particular we're going to talk about this like it's basketball and I think that's wrong I've always thought it was wrong that's kind of like the basis of everything I've ever thought about games

you want to be like baseball and um it's just funny to see it happen again right like it I mean you said you don't I don't respect it I think I'm that severe about it I just think it's wrong. I kind of agree with him because you have all of the data and tools to know that it's the wrong decision at this point. But okay, what is the right decision? I think making something more casual and familiar, which is kind of proven by the fact sports are even trending in that direction. Like they have these alternate versions of broadcasts,

like, you know, NFL where like the two Manning brothers like commentated on a camera. But these are always adjacents. Yeah, for sure. I think, yeah, it's my, I have a severe, I think the severity comes when you are talking over the game to this, with this cadence. I think it's way bigger of a deal than it's like, oh, who cares? They're just talking like sports announcers.

You're more concerned about the cadence and the content of the speech? I think so. Like if they're talking about the game, you don't care, but you care if they're talking about the game and they're gone. And now it looks like Feinberg's going to find the bastion hole. I think that's bad. And I think it's more meaningful than one might think. And to just write it off being like, who cares?

Like, if you just tone that down a little bit. So the format's other issue with you. You don't care about two commentators in the desk. It's the performance of it, I feel. It's like the... I do think if there's a commentary and then analysis as well, it's like, okay, well, why don't we just double up on this type of thing? I don't know.

It's not my... I'm just observing from the outside, but I'm seeing all these things happen again. It's interesting. Have you seen that video of Donk playing NACS? But it's like someone who uploaded like the entire match, the cut down. So like, what I like a lot about that video, like what it does well is it cuts out all filler. It cuts out all moments where don't It cuts out like all moments that don't really matter

When there's a hype moment It even like blurs the mini map in the YouTube video So you don't even know where the enemy is Like it treats it like you're watching a live match kind of But cuts out all the liveliness And it's like a raw delivery of what Why you click this video Which is to watch donk shit on N A players

And I think that's what kind of separates Electronic Sports from regular sports Is we have this like information that we can show the viewer that the players don't really see. Like in football, it's like, it's hard. It's not, you can kind of draw on the field and you can show routes and stuff, but like everyone's seeing the field. Sure.

There's not a secret guy around a corner that you're with, you know? I think the presentation of Eastport, to me, what makes it special is you can utilize that info for the viewer's entertainment. And I think that the caster is kind of meant to do a little bit of that as well, which is like paint context to you in a way that makes it more fun to watch. and I think it's hard for like a Minecraft commentator to reinvent that in a way that isn't just sports because sports was there first and figured it out first.

So the way we do it in my eyes is utilizing that aspect of it. Yeah, I don't think they're, it's funny because like they're doing something that you naturally arrive at, but has been learned to be by a lot of people. Some people love the button down LCS broadcast stuff, but it has been learned to be a lot of people that actually, we don't want that. But even like LCS straight away from that. Like, if you look at what they do now compared to, like, 10 years ago, that's kind of what I mean, is, like, to fall into the trap.

It's not necessarily, like, I'm not faulting them in the sense that it's very understandable how you arrive at that point. But you have, like, now 15 years of, like, modern e-sports to reflect on and be like, okay, all of these things are actually trending away from that style of commentary. Why don't we do something else? Well, okay, I'm hosting the Minecraft World Championship this weekend. What? So, yeah, it's like it'll be the largest Minecraft event in terms of like pedigree viewers. Is there a ticket to get tickets?

They're all sold out. They're all gone. Ticket master's. Can I go? Can I go? You can't go. I can't go. I can't go.

Specifically. You know you can't go. And so I, I, uh, we had the discussion of like what the commentary would be. And I made the call because I wanted the more traditional e-sports. to be the main broadcast, and then for me to be a co-stream. And you've, Chris, you made Genesis again. Yes. But even our, you know, our main commentary isn't that.

And I think the co-stream will be larger than the mainstream itself, but I think there needs to be a mainstream where you tune in. You really think so? I think they're, yeah, because otherwise... I mean, that, I think you're right. I think that mainstream commentary should be whatever, like, the community kind of, like, dictates is the standard. I think your general decision to divvy up those two things makes a lot of sense.

But I'm saying like that style of commentary that is on that broadcast, like whether it be like riot, whether it be this. It's like you get to make the decision of what that standard of like e-sport commentary for your game looks like. But I mean we went pretty boiler play. Like we have, you know, two commentators. We have a four analyst desk. You know, it's very NBA if you want to relate it to something.

To me it's less about like the commentary, although I know what you're talking about. I see it as well and like also don't like it. It's more about like the crossing the arms and red and blue lights of e-sports that I don't like the presentation of what we are trying to be cool and trying to be like athletic and that I care about that way more because it's you know moments like counterstrike right like take you time son you're trying to make that is sports yeah yeah yeah and when operating at max capacity it's awesome like that is like one of the best commentary lines in counterstack history it's yeah yeah that's probably the best one micrifice is aura can you go to my twitter real quick

have you seen the edit of that where it's it's because that was I think an online tournament. It was. And there's an edit of it where if it takes place in a big stadium and he's going upstairs on Mirage to knife the guy and you just hear the crowd and turns over and kills him. Scroll down. Keeps growing. Have a good time scrolling. Enjoy yourself here. Right there. Go up. Go up. Go up. One more. One more. Yeah, yeah, that one right there. Check this out. Full screen? Okay, they just won the event. They just won the event. Yeah, I thought this is so cute. They nailed it.

They went up together. It wasn't awkward. I thought that was beast mode. Yeah, that's cute. That's great. They look like good friends. It's, uh, there's a gamer chair visible. So that's, so that's all I'm trying to say.

Like that, that I am in, again, I, I, I'm just totally outside of it and I'm seeing all this happen and I'm like, whew. And it's funny because no young scene is going to hear me talk. Yeah. this place and be like, damn, this guy's spitting. And in fact, I think it actually works again. I think this adds a couple more years to the e-sportsification. I think it comes off to them.

It comes off to them. They see the guy in the Bitcoin platinum hat at Lippon. Who didn't know that I was running the biggest event. I thought it. I knew it was coming up. I didn't know it was next week. This weekend. This weekend.

This weekend. This weekend. This weekend. It's amazing. It's amazing. It probably comes off to them as hating on something that's getting spotlight. which I think is like an unfair interpretation of where your heart's at, which is like you going, no.

But it also a reasonable one. So if they stayed for this whole thing after I called Feinberg, what I called them, maybe you have found some sort of understanding of my position here, and maybe you didn't. But either way, I stand by everything I said. Every part of it. Maybe not. I stand by it.

All of it. I lose nothing by taking it back. You gain nothing? Don't sigh. I'm already stressed enough. You still have a... Is he getting stressed anymore? He doesn't make it easier for me.

I'll make it easy. Maybe I'll make it easy for you. Maybe does not make it easier for me. You've made it harder. Excuse me? It's tough when my 36-year-old friend calls my 22-year-old friend. Really nice guy.

What are you talking about? Feinberg's 22? Yes. That's crazy. Whoa, man. Yes. I mean, he can still be that at that age. A child.

16 in COVID. Yes. Distance learning ravaged his mind. And he turned to Minecraft as his only, he must have turned to Minecraft. He turned to Minecraft. He must have. It's a vast Minecraft only. He turned to Minecraft all advanced. He learned it before geometry. 100%. Well, this is the

whole point of the mogul money is, you know, like half, like one of the categories is just like books we've all read. And all the answers are like Ender's game or to kill a mockingbird. They're not going to know shit. Yeah. Yeah. Because they've all forfeited their youth. and they're like cultural touchstones

to be amazing at whatever League Valorin or Minecraft yeah what does Tens know what do you think Tens' favorite movie is maybe I'll ask him it's probably like your name yeah that's actually a really good

wow if it is I'm paying you a thousand dollars it's a pretty good movie he might say Kimi Nonawa he might he might say that instead of your name just to filter a guy like me out I don't know what that is

It's like this anime. Yeah. Or some shit that came out in the last like two years because they're all retired. Dude, I saw a scary movie. Seven? Oh, the new one? Siff.

Just say the new one. It's six. Seven. It's not. Don't be mad. I don't think it is. Why are you fucking mad? You're fucking mad.

And you're mad. I think it's sick. Chill out. Chill out. You're freaking out. What's the last one, five? He's bad. He's ready out.

It's like, relax. Whatever, dude. It's, How many scary movies are there is the question? Oh my God. It's six. It's six. Get shit on, you dumb loser.

He was mad. He was mad. He was mad. He was so bad. He was so bad. Not mad. Awesome. You seem chill, bro. Did you like it? Yeah. What do you think about it, bro? All right. When I was laughing, I was cackling. I was laughing out loud in the theater.

Oh. It was a fun time at the theater. When it's bad, it's the worst movie the last one of years. It's a scary movie, right? Huh? That's like the kind of, that's a bit of an expectation of scary movies. Yeah, they honestly did a great job of living up to what scary movie has been. Do you need to watch all the other things?

That is spoofing? Oh, that is spoofing? No, no. I mean, it's like scream again. Dude, my, I wonder if I don't have a way to contact Northern Lion. But I think me and him maybe have seen scary movie in theaters when we were little kids. And let me tell you, it was an amazing, you know the wazaa part? Everyone's doing it.

Yeah. We're all doing it at the screen. It says it every time I answer a call. It's different when it was in 1999 with a bunch of people and you're a kid and you're not allowed to be. One came out in 99? Pretty sure. Can you check zipper? Do you want me to message Ryan?

I guess so one. I think he's definitely in the 90s. Huh? I could correspond with Ryan. Maybe I'd like that. I also agree too, man. We have a very interesting 2000. He's on vacation.

we have a very interesting relationship because he'll see clips of me and I'll see clips of him and we're like talking about each other and it's like it's mostly through library and just posting things this cat and a mouse do you guys play? It's very it's very Is it sexual a little?

I don't think it's sexual If it found out it was would that be good? I would be interested in talking about that more What are you talking? What are you about to say something annoying? No. You got you guys should play You're not Ryan's type.

You guys should play Counterstrike together. the Northern Lion Slime duo It would be going crazy Dude there's this clip where he's like This is the best way to bond with With random people And he goes on the mic as soon as the game starts And he goes, he'd leave footlongs

It used to be $5 man And sometimes they're like Those are the days But library post the clip And then but one of the clips Some guys are like a huge pause He's like Subway is not real food

He's like We're not trying to engage today And then another guy was like No they're like weren't. It's a great clip. How much is a full long now?

Dude, double digits. 899. I think it's more. How much is a cold cut combo? Everyone can get guessing. I say 899.

I'll go. I think it's $11. Yes. Fuck. $11.99. I think it's $11.99. I think it's fair. Average down.

Let's say. I'm locking in a $9.50. There we guys. What a weird number for it. Yeah, weird number. 949. It's 950. $9.52.

Debra? Average price of a foot long across America. A cold cut combo. What do you keep saying that? What is this? Cold cut combo. It's one of the sandwiches. Five dollar foot long.

It's one of the sandwiches at Subway. It's been around longer than you've been alive. I'm not a cold-cut combo guy person. Prevalent. No, you got to find the real one. The AI said between 1099 and 50, which by the way is true. Subway menu with prices. This is Subway menu.

There's a variety. Coldcut combo. That's half. That's six inch. Give me a foot long. Maybe they don't do it anymore. Nah, they do foot long. Here we go. They do foot long.

Chicken bacon ranch? $11? Yeah, that's not a foot long. Looking like my $950 is pretty strong. No way of full long is 600 calories. They're all six cents. Do you just double it? I wonder.

I'll just go to fuck that way today. 1199. Yeah, that's spot on. 1199. It depends on what you get. The lowest cost, which we'll go with. what I get. That's fucking You don't love Subway?

These look good, bro. 1099. Yes. Okay, so it depends on which meats you get. Yeah, it depends. Obviously, it depends. Cold cut combo. Oh, we're going down.

We have a 99. 999. 950! Gellie classics. Cold cut combo is 899. Wow. Wait, do I win? Well, well, well.

Everyone is right depending on which foot long you consider. I just said, we got to go lowest. We got to go lowest. We got to go lowest. Why do you got to go. The five foot long was the lowest they offered for a average. There were more expensive

foot long than five You go average. No, you don't go average. Why would you go average? But if this is true, he still wins, yeah? No, I said 899, didn't I? That's, but 950 is closer than to 899?

No, well, if he goes by lowest, he wins. Okay. What we learned is that it's more expensive. We did. It is more expensive than $5. That's why I stopped sending my assistant to go get them. Nick England.

Yeah. You don't have to say that. It was just not affordable. Do you think if Jared Fogel didn't do all that? And he became like a Mr. Beast like celebrity. Yeah. Do you think that the $5 foot long would still be here? Like they'd have the place in the world.

Did he cause inflation personally? Because he defamed the brand of Subway. I don't think he had anything to do with the straight of Hormuz closing. Oh my God, it's still in jail? Yeah. Guy who thinks Jared Fogel's Michael Jackson? He didn't do it. He got really caught.

Dude, the Aidan Ross stream when he gets out. is gonna fucking hit, bro. Yo, I got me, Drake, XQC, and Jared Fogel. And we're asking, what a day in the life of Drake's like. Yep, and we're fucking gambling on steak. That's like your kind of joke? I got so much piss in my cock. I didn't even listen.

I stopped listening. I can feel it. You were tucked in, too. I know. I'm like trying to, I'm trying to pinch it. I'm all out of piss. It's all in my cock. It doesn't work.

you're all out of his but it's still in your balls. Yeah, that's why it doesn't work. I'm so off. In my pants now, maybe. It's a bad day. Why has it been awesome? Are you done with Counterstrike, by the way? You're over.

For now, yeah. 10K was your line. Okay, so here's what happened. I started playing Counterstrike. I thought it was really fun. And then I made it a goal to get to 10K. And then it took over my life. This is a story that's kind of common with people.

Yes. Maybe that we've met before on the podcast. And then I really, like, I really just wanted to do other shit. I have shit to do. I'm shit I'm working on, and I couldn't do it because I was, it was like league. But what I realized, and I was thinking about this really hard, my heart was not in it. When I woke up every day to play League of Legends to hit gold, I was trying, and I was trying,

and I was feeling the game and the emotions, and I loved it, bro. I felt at peace. I felt like water flowing off a mountain. Counterstrike was like work, and I never wanted to have to do that again. Are you going to fucking Evo? Yeah. I didn't know this. I'm not in me, and I'll be there for you.

I didn't know this. You'll be there for me. I'm going to watch you play Tyler. You're going to watch? Obviously. Are you going to compete? No, I didn't sign up. I haven't been playing Street Fighter.

You know who's been playing a lot of Catterstrike? Who's that? Yes. I was two thumbs. I opened Steam and I checked Friends recently played hours. Nick is at the top with a lot of hours. I'm still lower than two people on my friends list.

That's slime. Okay. And games played this season. And Sunset. which is crazy which is crazy he has a real job you have played in an insane stack

he has like 120 fucking games this season you know what's funny is they take longer than league games occasionally yeah some league games are gross some league games are gross but you can ever have

well I guess you can have a gross counter strike game but I think I think from nut to butt getting into a counterstrike game actually takes way longer than league especially new league still the worst cheating problem

in probably any video game besides maybe call duty Yeah, watching Timmy ground of 30K was miserable It's crazy man Do you finally hit it? He hit it, yeah, you hit it I had a game against a cheater Two days ago

And we only won Because we had two cheaters There we go So we just out And all of them Were not admitting they were cheating They were all soft cheating Wait, how did you know they're cheating?

I'm just asking It was like I die and inspect it He would play really bad If everyone was dead And he was the last one alive But if only one person died like maybe he's not being watched. It was like traced through wall.

Like, Peaks shoot his head. And then we started asking, we really wanted to win. So we started asking questions like, is it possible to ramp? And he'd be like, probably won Palace or something.

And then I look Palace. He peaks Palace. I kill him. I'm like, great calm. Nice fucking calm, bro. Dude, you're smart. You get him sets. How do you know the cheating in the other team?

The other guy was a little more blade. Like if you go to his leadify, it was like his head shot percentage was like super high. Yeah, that's how you check. You go to the, you check their stats. And if it's a high.

higher aim percentage than donk? And he had, he had like, what was it called? Like, if you do dot tips, it'll tell you the percentage likelihood they're cheating. He was at like 55% likelihood. Dude, I don't know if I trust it. It's pretty good. It's like the shit that tracks if shit's written by AI.

But now it just thinks everything's written by AI. No, there's a tracker that's really good. 20% and below, you're in like smurfing territory. 50% or higher, it's like, this guy reacts at 100, MS when someone peaks a corner. I see. And it's like, I mean, how often are you going to react faster than human time? Probably cheat.

To people who swing. When I was grinding, it was on stream, but there were these two guys on my team. They were doing like run boost and shit. They did like a run boost out long on T-side and killed somebody. I was like, these are the greatest players. I didn't cross my mind. I was like, these are the greatest players of all time. And we crushed the game.

And on the fucking windscreen at the very end, VAC band. And they get kicked out of the game. And I got my points. taken away from me. Yeah. Dude, I'm the day. I play cheaters every four games, and I only have one notification in history

that Valve banned someone, and it was a guy who dropped 48 an O against us. And I didn't get Elo back. And even then, like, whoever, like, the system is kind of looking at it, like, I don't know. Honestly, it's either or. Maybe.

Well, shout out to Skibbidi Diego. Uh, eat your ban. And shout out gaming, bro. Yeah. Hope you're enjoying the yacht. Love to visit. Dude, love the yacht. Can you actually stop people from saying the N-word and cheating in your video game?

When you have a chance. I just want an invite to the opera. Would love to scuba with you. If you'd love it from the laptop from the awesome boat, I want to hang out too. But just no more N-words are blatant cheating. Or get rid of the cheaters. Wall hacking. It'd be perfectly.

Yeah, and like Hitler profile pictures. That's bottom of the list. Hand of that one last. Love you. Anyway, that is our list of requests for Gabe Newell. We're going to be in the Patreon after this, which we're going to shoot tomorrow. when Ludwig is far less stressed

after Feinberg sweeps the mogul money that's happening today. Hashtag Feinberg sweep. Leave it in the comments. We'll see you next time.