The Yard - Ep. 258 - We Are Making a Cult

Episode Date: July 8, 2026

This week, the boys talk about their trip away together, the etymology of 'W Goons', and how we are creating our own cult. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey, we're going. It's, hey, he has to do what he wants. Yeah, he gets to do whatever he wants. He did whatever he wants. It's the happy birthday. It's to you, boy. Okay, Nick has this weird thing going on. To you, boy.

Where he went through like a second purity, and now he can sing really, really well. I don't know what happened. Something's weird. We, we were together. You guys embarrassed me. We all went to a cabin together last weekend. What?

What? What? This was pre-opened. Drink it, pussy? It was... Just drink it really fast! Wait, it was already opened? That mystery bottle of...

Now, now I feel weird. Just pre-opening it. Just drink it really fast. He's making me feel worse about it. It's weird that you're not drinking it really fast. You drink it so fast. I don't want to drink it real. It's your birthday.

It's really cloudy. It's really cloudy. It's fast now. Happy birthday to you, boy. Happy birthday. It's your birthday. It's your birthday. It's yummy.

It's good. I'd be like it. Okay. We were all out of cabin together. It's us. It's Josh Mann. All of our lovely girl. Our foids.

And we are playing a game at this giant kitchen table. Void 5. Nick just hits, he just intentionally hits a note during a game of Linky. That's the thing that was unintentional. And we all, the whole room goes dead silent, looks at Nick. And we're just like, Nick, that was a moment. amazing. It was like the comedy sketch.

And it's exactly like the Cowl Rudy's like, my God, God, it's amazing. Being me. And I was just like, did you, could you sing like that this whole time? Because for years, like, when he sings, it was like, you know, whatever. Yeah.

Sun Tzu said, never show the length of your true power. She was just 17. And as he was doing it. And then we tried to sign it. We tried to be like, try to convince him. You should go on. to tour. You genuinely have a gift.

You genuinely have a gift? You need to make an album. I don't that good. I think you should start making beats. You start making fucking music. Then what I didn't know is I think slime pulled up. It was the M2AF episode

with Glave and they were playing, I think, Power Wash Simulator. And they were talking about Incubis and Nick hits this crazy note. The song Drive. I'll actually do, I'll see if I can do it like him. And Nick goes, and then he'd be like, I can't do it.

No, you sound... Like, it's not heard. Ghost is a clip. You all sound like you're taunting Middle Eastern music. That is what I was doing. Okay. You got me.

Full stop. That's fine. You guys remember the song Arab Money? That was crazy. But if you go to that, if you go to that clip, I went to Nick, I messaged him on Discord

and I was like, did you really hit that shit? Yeah, the trill was crazy. The vocal control's insane. Like, he's doing it, like, breathy, but light almost. And he's, just giving it out on the other show.

Yes. It's like I give you guys my best. Lemonade slant. Lemonetet gets my slop. I can't even say it right. I can even fucking work. This is your best? Think of my stop.

Have you been giving his best the entire? This is my best. This is my fucking hair. It's even fucking worse on the other show. It's worse. Think about that. Think about that. Look about that.

Dude. That's bad. It's bad. You need to work on that. I know. And he's dropping dick off on the other show. Yeah. And that's kind of sweet, right?

It's like his little niche like place. Vince, we're getting more niche as well. Mm-hmm. Smaller? It's getting more niche. Oh, smaller?

Oh, it's struggling. It came out of the pool. We're stretching the, we're shrinking, yeah. Is it because Alex doesn't do it? And then you have to put a post

that says, Alex didn't make it this time. No, they're not fucking with Elton Ring over there. Oh, you're doing Elth ring. I'm surprised. He's not fucking with Eldring. Do they like when the titles exonerate? They like that.

That's definitely not part of it. And this is all great promo, by the way. Archie, just put a bouncing link on those graders. I do like, my favorite part about the show is every month you get the YouTube community post from Alex that says, guys, I'm on another trip. And I couldn't do this show.

He's such a, he is, he just does what he fucking wants. He's a mysterious man. Why do you want to hold a? Why do you want to hold him down? That's his charm. I don't want to hold them down. I love that. Hold me down.

Speaking of ugly charming men, can we talk about Josh in his giant blunder? This giant blunder. How did he plunder? We were all at the table. Ugly charming man, Josh. Yeah, well, we had a long conversation about how charming people are sexy, according to Nick.

We had the same conversation. We shouldn't dive into it. We shouldn't dive into it. No, no. I'm going to say we had the exact same conversation that we had on the podcast, but in real life. And it was extended.

Because we had this whole conversation But you added the word sexy Yeah, you just throw it in there I'm trying He said he just was in to Claro It's fine Yeah and she posted that picture Did you know see it?

No You can't do that in a restaurant She's in a restaurant It's inappropriate Anyway, you should be Claro in the restaurant No no no Not on YouTube You have a girlfriend

I don't know what she did in the restaurant What if it was like She's got her fucking monkeys out Oh really? Her chest monkeys She has her two chest monkeys She's in the fucking jungle gym And what are they

What are they clapping? No I'm sure. I will say probably behind the camera there is a full applause. There is probably, yeah, an applause, yep. No, are the chest monkeys clapping? Oh, no, they're not clapping. They're covered. They're covered. And they're covered with a friend or not like Phoebe Burgess.

When Phoebe Bridges does a concert and then she's like, by the way, check them out. Check them out. Like, how many times does she done this? And I'm dating Bo Burnham. And I'm dating Bo Burnham. Those are two facts about them. Yeah, so we're at the table and Josh is charming, but really hideous. and his girlfriend,

unprompted, just goes, who's the biggest lull cow here? Oh my God. And everyone's like, oh, and slowly looks at slime. Yeah, and I'm like, well, it's probably me. I'm engaging with the question. She's like, no, it's not slime.

And then we all look at each other like, we're like, really? Even me. I'm like, yeah, no, it probably is me. Maybe you can get a piece. I don't know. And then she's like, She's like, no, like, who laughs the most? And we looked at her like, she was an idiot.

We're like, what do you? Oh, someone has told you the wrong definition of lulcow. And Josh starts jumping in front of the bullet. He's like, guys, this is my fault. He basically told his girlfriend, he changed the definition of the word lulcow. And he's like, no, it just means someone who laughs a lot at things. And she felt, she was embarrassed. Because all of these people are looking at her.

The true evil action is that he changed a definition to be someone who laughs and then called her a wool cow. Yeah. Like walking her into a rake later that she will be like, I'm a wall cow, everyone. And I'll laugh and be like, really? It's usually something you say with contempt about yourself. You're saying it's so happy.

It's, yeah. It's like, I'm a peto. I'm best around children. Like I'm really good with children. Yes. And then you go to a group, who's the biggest peto here? I don't know if I want to be with you.

You're like me, me. It's obviously me. It's obviously me. There was this TikTok a long time ago where this guy was watching his friend's dog and he trained the dog to every time he said pedophile to get excited to go on a walk. Okay. And so every time, or I think it was like his friends' like names. It was like Nate's a pedophile and the dog would start getting excited.

Kind of what Josh did here. Yes. We were having like a quintessential like boy and girl trip at one point where the guys are all huddled on a couch playing street fighter and the girls were all playing overcooked. Dude, it was like a very gender normative. Yeah, they're like, Cudy is standing in front of the TV, and they are looking at the layout of the level

before starting it, and walking through what the strategy is. And, like, it's a real kitchen, and Cudy's like, all right, Zipter 3, you're on this. Zipper 2, you're on this. And then they're like, but what about if we need to move this way? And then we're just...

When girls play overcooked, it's like a strawless. It's like a game. like, bro. I'm just like, I burnt this shit. It's like, fuck it, it. Throw it on, bro. Throw it on. Like, guys, that customer's a bitch. Our girlfriends were lined up like, like, students in class.

And QD was like with a big pointer being like, so we need to do this here. And she ran that shit like the Navy. Well, let me say this was also for any knowers. This was Christmas DLC overcooked. Okay. Which is a, which is a, it's a beast of a level. And it was also a final level of Christmas DLC. It sounded extremely stressful.

And they also, they, It would like Astrolis, they would share their failures and successes. Like, one of the girls would be like, I fuck, that was so fucking bad. Like, not that there was pressure. No one was getting mad at each other. It's just that there was a true pressure and be like, this one was on me. Dude, what was it really funny? There was a stressful round where we, because as we're sitting on the couch, it's me and Nick getting coached by

Ludwig and Slime. They're horse racing us. We're getting horse raced. Me and Nick, both bad as street fodder, playing each other. and we're getting instructions from YouTube while we play, and it's starting to heat up. But they're heating up in a specific round at the same time. Zipper 2, just in the middle, cracks.

She's like, shut up! And it's like, well, I'm a jockey, and my horse is not moving right. Yeah, yeah, they told us to shut up. That's right. Yeah, I missed it. I was so locked in. Once I learned I could lose a lot of me with him only using fireball,

I was fully a street fighter player. I was never playing Aiden. I was just playing the guy who, could be throwing fireballs out. Dude, it was crazy. I'm like telling you how to beat this guy. You're doing too much. I beat him the only fireballs.

You come back. You're still doing too much. It's hard. It was, it was Aiden's Ryu versus Nick's Ken. And it was us telling them one simple trick that doctors hate and then... Mine was wake-up super.

Yeah, and he couldn't do it. You wouldn't want so many rounds if you could do it because he never ever blow. I only grabbed under your get-up. Yeah, and then they started sweeping each other because sweep gave the most like dopamine goons. Well, he didn't,

He never reactively swept. He only went for sweep. Yeah, that's true. I could sweep back. When you block it, you can sweep back. Yeah. He didn't hear that. No.

So I got a lot of mileage off that. I think that's Ken only. Probably Ken only. He was also, I think I made himself conscious. How? Because he started using my fight stick, and then he, like,

he left gross, sweaty, gross hand lines. He was sweating so much. I know. And then I said, oh, gross sweaty lines. And then between every, like, every knockdown he was wiping. Oh, no. You were fat, tucking your sweaty hands

Yes, he's back, I'm talking to sweaty hands I sweat when I play fighting games Do that make you want to kill you? Do you play melee? Yes, okay My control is doused Make you embarrassed you want to die I'm gonna kill myself?

I don't want to kill myself Because you're sweating hands, we all saw And I'm getting mad I'm getting mad because I can't I never play without this stick So I can't jump when I want to jump And I can't block when I want to block You don't jump

I've never done I've been on firebacks You don't know down and back No but that's what I'm trying I don't I don't You're on leverless. And then I have to keep, I have to keep looking down. I feel like, I feel like a geriatric person typing.

And because I had to keep looking down at the controller to move my hand in the correct place and then push the right button. I would be like, okay, I want to jump forward. And then I'd look down to see if I'm going to hit the right two buttons. And then I would do it like three seconds later. But of course, you suck at the game. You lost many times. Nick, I told him to sweep.

I lost five. We run. They're five to two? I lost five, too. So we do the friend slop trip. You got coerced on this through a bet you made because I beat Tyler 1. Did you guys notice?

What? Sidebar. Did you guys notice day one? How much fun he had? How much fun he had? How much fun he was having? I was there day one. We were all sitting at the table playing awesome games together.

He was having fun. I was having fun. I was stressful as fuck. He looked like he was having fun. That a stress smile? But then we popped off playing Linky because we fucking got there. Yeah.

Because we clutched crazy style. Linky's a fine game. Nick Jonas. Dude, Nick Jonas is on it. He has diabetes on the box. Yeah. It's obvious everyone is diabetes on the box. Is he the most dogged on guy

with diabetes? I think he might be the most in history. I think he is. Is he the most famous person with diabetes? No. Who is?

Well, openly with diabetes because there's probably like Yeah, there's probably closeted Elon Musk. Diabetes havers. He has diabetes. I'm saying a public,

like we know to have diabetes. Who's the most famous diabetes ever? I think like an old president had it. I think like Theodore Roosevelt or some shit. Nick Jonas might be the face of diabetes. The AI says that it's Nick Jonas. Tom Hanks has diabetes. Never mind.

Tom Hanks Mugs. That's Woody. But we don't know that. The question isn't necessarily who's the most part. Bery has type one. It's not really who's the most famous person with diabetes. Who's the most famous person you know to have it? I guess you're right.

I guess I didn't know Tom Hanks had it till today. Yes. I think Nick Jonas had it. It has been the face of diabetes since we were in middle school. He's loud about the diabetes. He should be a little quieter about it. I don't want to see it. It's that you can have diabetes. I just don't want to see it.

What do you mean you don't want to see it? You know, they got all these laws passing and all this shit with the LGBT. I just don't want to see it. If you have diabetes, all the, you know, don't talk about it with me. I feel like it's, you know, what. Don't show it. Don't surprise. LGBDQ plus.

The word on the street, they're taken out. Bs, they're taking us out. And they're putting in the Ds. They're trying to make a type 4 diabetes. They're putting in the diabetes and they want your kid to have it. Yeah. Type 4 diabetes just crave it. Is there a type 3?

No, that's it. You skip type 3? You skip 1. We skip 3. It's like Windows. We don't do iPhone 9. Which one they skip? 9. Oh my God, they skits 9. I never really thought about it.

It's like the iPhone. Yeah. They skip 9. Windows and iPhone skip 9? Do you think there's low key at 9? I think it's because 79. Do you think that only on like the international space station

they got Windows 9 or something? Yeah, it only runs in like missile silos or something. Oh, some people say Windows 8.1 was 9 but that's that's for that's another conversation for another time.

I don't like, I don't like when we point five things. Like I don't like Lion King 2.5 or whatever. What? 1.5. Oh, 1.5. The direct DVD experience.

It's a cop out. It's like stand, stand fucking behind this right now. Well, that's why they're DVD. disgusting to me. You know? I think we should just call it two. But there was a line.

Hold up, yeah. What if? No, that won't be three. But it takes place between one and two. Oh, man. So? We push it all.

He's saying, make it two and then make the other one three, which would still work. And then before, after that. I think, I think this is fair, but I think the vehicle

in which it's released matters. I don't care how they got to the theater. Ludwig, I don't know what that has to do with anything. No, no, no, no. like if 1.5 is directs a DVD but two goes to the film to the screen. Do you do not care about the 0.5? Don't care at all. No. We don't do that with video games. We don't do it with video games. We don't say

Dark Souls 1.5. Oh. You kind of do. But you don't. Kingdom Hearts 385 over 2. My craft 1.1 8. Kingdom Hearts 2.5 HD remix is a real game but made by who? In part with who? Japanese. Fucking fucking Disney. You seeing it happen in front of your eyes? You were blind. Oh my god. It's your birthday and you're blind

It's your birthday and you're blind I guess you're allowed to be It's your birthday and you're blind You can't see on your birthday I fucking you have to open my eyes For the first time You're blind man I think name someone else

Who's done it I'm gonna That isn't Disney Name anyone Do it find it Search your mind What about Cs 1.6

That's not 1.5 I know but it counts But one point CS1.5 exists Software does not count This is movies We can't do software I don't think software

I got there. No, I don't think so. And you're mad. Because it's like, because there was probably a CS1.5. There was. There was a 1.5. That's why there's a 1.6.

But then they got to a 2. No, no, no. Now we're at 2. So you're saying 1.6 is the prequel to 2? This is rock solid. I mean, it's a really interesting point. To give him credit, this is art. But also, in a lot of Ludwig ways,

like always, it betrays the spirit of the idea. What's the spirit? The spirit of the idea is a middling thing that comes out later between two things. He's just saying, call it all a solid number. There's no reason to have the in-between. I'm saying there's a reason. Movies don't need software

designations. I don't limit myself to moon. I do. That's why you're weaker. I like limits and I like rules and I like weakness. I can see. You hate weakness. No. No, I like weak. A weak. I like to be a weak man. I liked

inside Lewin Davis. Don't bring that shit up. It tells me. I watched it last night. When I brought it up, it made him really mad. It's interesting. Because he asked me to watch it,

which is the primary reason I watched it. I asked you to watch it two and a half months ago. Fine. Fine. Sidebar. Pretty good. It's pretty good.

It's pretty good movie. I just have a pretty good movie. I think there's this one scene to war, it's like last quarter of the movie where he performs for like this. fucking la la la la la you really want to talk about it.

You're gonna fucking spoil it. And it hits. We aren't a sidebar to be fair. But you can spoil it for me. We can definitely spoil it. You guys have turned something I really, really like into a big joke, and I don't like it. It's not a joke. And I don't fucking like it. And that's why we're talking about it right now, because it's a big awesome joke.

And I got a small little dick. I fucking like it. So stop. So stop fucking making the thing that I begged you on my birthday to do, and then you did it later. And now it's a joke to make a small little dick, and a little bit fucking balls. and a fucking little cum comes down like a little bit

like fucking toothpaste so fucking stop I didn't know just fucking stop I'm asking you to fucking tiny little penis and it's like a little fucking tiny little balls of penis

yeah it actually was stupid and it came out like toothpaste so fucking so shit to fuck up it's fuck up about it either watch it or don't talk to me don't talk about on the show

like it's a fucking joke he's got a little tiny fucking penis you took me we didn't film the birthday we went to that restaurant I told that waiter I had leukemia and then I told you to watch the fucking movie

and then it took you forever and now you want to talk about it in the focus show I got a small little fucking tiny little shit I was thinking about your tiny little shit the whole time up I watched it shit I can't see it because it's so small right it's so small

but it comes out like elephant toothpaste do you think we'll ever have a sidebar yeah normal dude base no man sidebars are dead sidebars are fucking gone and fucking dead all right well I did I want to wait I did want to do this in the beginning of the episode, but we can do it now.

Shohei, come on out. Oh, God. Oh, no. He's talking to Kelby. Oh, no. Tell me he's talking to his ear off. He's probably talking to his ear off. I want to put you in something lacy.

Watashi no nihongo, Choto Gomidesio. What kind of phone do you have? Like the phone plan. No, no, no, the plan. Does it work like mine? Is it the same type of phone? Do you know.

The Denwa... Samsung? Sugoy. Calbi in Japanese. Yeah, he would speak it so beautifully. I think he would. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Ohio goesimazes.

That's you. That's what he would do. This is unironically what you used to do. I would at least try to... Cali, he doesn't say he did this morning. Oh, oh, oh, oh. Like, he had an idea. And then he says the dumbest shit of all time.

And you're like, what the fuck? I'll just mind my own business. Don't pretend you didn't do the deep bow, though. I didn't go a deep bow. I did like a half deep bow. You would go to a 7-Eleven and you do a... He takes a joke all the time. I don't do this.

It's just what happened. Tell me about it. He would go into a 7-Eleven. He would do a deep bow. And then someone said it wasn't deep enough. So he'd bring a small rug and then he'd get on his knees. And he bowed all the way down to the floor. Yeah.

And you can just see the storeworker, they go, tut, and I'd just be tugging on the guy's pant leg. Oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy,

oh, boy, oh, yeah, and they're like, well, that's the wrong way. That's wrong. I don't know what to do. I can't pull over any farther.

I already pull over. I can't pull over any farther. Dude, you always, speaking of the Dodgers game really quick, by the way, we went,

Ludwig was the most famous guy there. It was crazy. There was a Ludwig line between in it. There was a Ludwig line at the baseball game, and they jumbotron him twice. Oh, Jumbo.

Well, because you had the, you looked crazy. I looked like, and you were hot. I messaged him after, and I was like, I saw the picture, I mess with him like 2 a.m.

I was like, just growing out, bro. You'd be like, you look so sexy and fucking good. You're bad. Just fucking do it like a Swedish rocker. It's the in between, bro. It's the in between.

That's the problem. You look shitty for a while, and then you look awesome. How long could your hair get, do you think? I don't think there's a limit to how long my hair could get. It's a dumb,

question we're talking about. Dude, not everyone. Have you seen the fingernails that go like this? Yeah, but that wouldn't happen to all of us. I think that happens to all of us, Nick. If we didn't trim our fingernails, that happens to all of us. Yeah. I think the ones that the fucking Guinness World, like, Ripley's believe it or not. And the guy in the dreadlocks and he's the fucking crazy fingers. I think that's special. No,

no, no, no. I don't think so. The specialness is the extraordinary person to let it go that far. Because that person can't play video games or like hold a spatula. You know? We could do that. And we could have crazy long hair that goes to the floor that we have to I know I could. Well, mine would be on the side, but it'd be long from the side.

True. It looks crazy. I think because what is it like if your hair is a certain length, your hair's like, no, I'm not going to grow it. Because when you shave your head, your hair goes back. I just feel like you only got so much like sauce. You know what I mean? Like with a hair sauce that makes the hair? Like, yeah, we're done now.

Like the biological reason you need this, we run out of it. Okay, but so by that logic then, you would go bald. Right? People do go bald. Yeah. but that's what you're talking about. But do you think you're going bald? But like, so is it really,

is it a binary where it's like you're either bald or you have infinite hair in that area? I think, yeah. Can you not lessen your ability to have hair in certain areas? I don't think your body is like, oh my God, there's so much of it out there. We're going to stop growing it. No, I don't think it's like that.

I think it's more, if you have a follicle for long enough, the hair, the hair falls out. So if we're all born, right, no one cuts their hair. That could happen. Are we all born everyone? Do we all have the same length hair? No. So people grow hair different rates.

Yes. There's a max potential, yes. That's what I'm saying. But I think, no, I don't think it is what you're saying because I think the max potential and they can be different. You're just to be lower. Yes, but I think the floor that you could get to

is so insane. You're saying the floor is so high, it's negligible. You can definitely get your hair to like here. I'm saying I could get my hair if I really wanted down a fucking neck. Yeah, I'm doubting it. Anyone could. But you're saying that.

some sort of physical limit while at the same time knowing nothing about the human body. But so is he. He said there's a physical limit. You said there's a max. There's a max. That's a physical limit. That's the definition. Well,

of course there's a max is our lifespan. You did? No, he's talking about a length max. Well, not a time max. I think, are you?

Yes. I think there's a length mask. He said that the difference between. He said you're agreeing with him. No, I'm not. I'm not. I'm not.

I'm not. I'm not. I want that on me. Take it back. Find your way to disagree. I'll take it back when you fucking say something to make some damn sense to me. I think there's a max length

that is based off of time span so the time you allow the hair to grow and also hair grow speed. People don't grow hair at the same speed. So this just has to do with how long we are able to live which is my argument.

And how fast you grow hair. Sure. He's saying there's some sort of length that the body tells us we can't grow hair anymore. That's what I don't agree. I disagree as well. I don't think that makes sense.

But I think there's a theoretical max indifference at birth, which is what he asked, because of your hair grow speed. And the lifespan of yourself. But if we both live to 100 at birth. So don't say the word max, because it conflates what he's saying with what you're saying. But in your word, he's saying cap. In your world, Ludwig dream with me for a moment. Okay, okay. We're born and let's say we never die. And look at her. You think you can do what she does. You are such a bitch, by the way. You never die. I love you. Reopen your eyes. You could never be her. You could never be her. Is that Clara? That's Clara. That was what she was doing.

The Guinness, uh, um, okay, two people born at the same time, never die. Yes. Right. Never cut their hair. Okay. Their hair lengths will never be the same. Right. If one has a higher speed to you, right? Yes. So they're not like approaching a point. One has more ability. One is less ability. That's what you're saying? Yes. Okay. But you're just disagreeing with the idea that there is a code. I don't think there's a cap that says no more hair growth. Yes. I don't think it's a cap. I do think that sounds less, less believable than that. Because what do we say? Now we're, now we're. Now we're. just making up rules. You're saying the body knows. Life is crazy, bro. Body knows. We have a height limit. Why is, that's the same thing. Well, that is based on gravity and maybe the argument here is that gravity

tells us, hey, no more hair. Gravity. Yeah, but maybe that's... I'm not limiting my argument to saying, but gravity can't be part of it. I'm saying, I just think that's what happens. For whatever reason. I think Aiden had a good point, which is that... We fucking didn't. Fucking Aiden. Oh, the guy who brings his best? What's him do you like, Aiden?

Well, let me... I wonder. How me, dummy, Croatia his point. Shut of Croatia. That your hair might get really long and heavy and then fall out

like your hair follicle like your follicle, like your follicle strength. The weight of it says ah. I think you know, you lose hairs all the time. So there's kind of like,

we lose hairs all the time. We all lose hairs all the time. You're more than you're making. We lose a difference. We lose a difference. We lose a difference. We shed some bear. I'm on your team.

I'm on your team. I love your willing, and I'll say this and this is genuine. I love your willingness to pull it back. a lot. Because a lot of times people like, I don't want to, you say, no, fuck it. Look, bitch. No, I don't like that because he only started doing it after the Finn. He's doing the, I got a new tattoo post. No. People do this. It's just untrue. People do this, but it's not true. He doesn't do it,

but people do that. A man who has willingly shaved his head multiple times. I saw a TikTok of a guy and he was like at this beautiful site in like Ireland Hills and it's windy and he's going like this in the wind's blasting in his face and everyone knows why he's doing this because he doesn't want to he doesn't want the wind to fucking hair he's shirt tugging his hair he's shirt tugging his hair and he shows the views he's beautiful you look so funny like that

Samuel it would be your name I'd love you forever you know who fooled the planet earth for a long long time bless this damn pussy hound heart Jesus Tycuno oh because I was like oh yeah he's got like a pretty

you know, youthful looking hairline, but he kept it down a lot. And I was like, well fucking played, masterwork. Have you seen his forehead? Yeah. I don't know if I have. Well, yeah, there's a picture, isn't there? Would it be cruel to bring up an image of it on this podcast right here right now? I don't think as a bald man, I can tell you what's cruel.

Uh, computer. Can you please look up Cycuno Lily haircut? Cicuno Lily haircut? Lily Peacuteu back in the day, a long time ago. Cut his hair. Cut his hair. Oh. The smoking gun.

Oh, you know what? That third one is good too. You know, this is, you can see what's going on here. Yeah. And, you know, he put a lot of body into it. He got it done. He got it covered. And it was, it was really, it was kind of an all-time cover-up.

And Aiden, I think, if you're looking for some sort of solution here. Yeah. Yeah. Get the tycoon. You already got a diaper on. I can't, the picture's not going to show up because the winter. It's broken now, but. There's no solution necessary.

You know, it really is broken now, huh? I've conquered the minimal hair loss that was experienced. It was an easy battle. Negligible, invisible almost. I just say I don't even need the drugs. I hardly even remember combating it.

That's good. It's good. Because some people never forget. They never forget. They have a mark. Dude, you should shoot like a Patrick Bateman intro to American Psycho scene. It's all hair products.

It's all derm rolling. and like, it's like an assortment of hymns in a Monday through Saturday. Did you maintain that hairline? Yeah. There it is. Oh, wow. Okay. Thank you, Zipper, for finding it. We've officially entered cruel.

Well, I don't think it's cruel. It's just showing what his hairline looked like. And I told, I asked the question, would it be cruel. This was in my mind. I didn't know it looked like this. I would have said yes. I would have said yes.

I didn't know it looked like this. I'm saying this is a fellow, ball. I'm saying this to Sycuno. Hymns works. It works. It works. Sometimes. It's been using hers for a year.

And if you use hers, it turns out it's the same. Call it a speedball. Yeah, you just take both. It's crazy. You feel crazy. Hey, Cleas. Hey? You know when we're on the job site,

I know I'm not dressed in my garb right now, but you know what I do. Hardly recognizing it. You know, when we head downtown to this downtown coffee, and we get some coffee for the boys back on the site. Yeah, you always get the kind of the fru-frew, sweet coffees. And I have been holding that against you quietly,

but I like going with you. I like going with you. You know I like even more is they got that little nice square POS system that keeps track all our points. Is that the thing I tap my watch to?

Yeah. You know who you can pay on this thing? You can pay on that thing. You can pay on your watch. You can pay on your damn watch. You can also get the points on the square system. Guys, that's right.

You can take payments in person online. Hi, I'm a square rep. And I love you people. I love hanging out with you people. This is so fun for me. I don't get to interact. Why got flowers on your shirt? It's made by Taked.

Kashmirakami, a Japanese artist. What is that? Japanese artist. Japanese. Yeah, but I'm really here to talk about Square where you can track inventory and sales automatically, manage your team and schedules.

So you work at the coffee shop? No, no, no. I work with Square and then we work with other businesses to use our services like a part of sale. Are you taking order? Because we gotta get back to the job site. You're going in the register, you're taking money out,

you bring it back to Square headquarters? I don't touch, I don't touch any of the money directly. I can't take your coffee. I never see you at Stumptown. I don't work at Stumbtown. I don't work at Stumbtown. I've been there. What are you doing here on the job side?

I'm just here to promote Square. Let me understand. How come when I go to the Stumptown on the east side, it has the points from Stumptown I went to on the west side? Well, because the thing about Square is that it helps you earn more money on average 36% more if you use Square with things like points or like membership rewards programs. You can do that at any of your locations. My daddy told me never listen to a man wear strapped pants.

I can take them off for you. Look, here's the bottom line for you guys. and I hope you guys take this one away. If you're starting a business or running one that deserves better tool, Square helps you sell, manage, and grow them without slowing down. And right now you can get $200 off. Square hardware at square.com slash go slash yard. That's SQ-U-A-R-E.

I'm going to say that again for you. S-Q-U-U-U-R-T-E. That's like a hat that you wear on those construction set. Slash-G-R-S-G-E-R-S-G-E-R-S-G-G-R-S-G-R-S-G-R-S-G. Go slash yard, run your business smarter with Square get started today. You're saying this only works at coffee jobs. I want you to die.

I don't know. I understand. Squirt.com. Go ahead and go on to squirt.com and get whatever you need. Hey, you look like a bit more of a sugary fella, you know what I'm saying? You see, he puts oat milk in his coffee.

What do you think about that? Oh, yeah. Even in my workplace, that'd be a little homosexual. I like this. It's like, That's square.com slash go slash yard I love you guys

man He makes me laugh more Than anyone else Wait the guy who brings his best Yeah it makes his best I'll hug him A lot of nice A lot of me in a nice weekend

And speaking of Aiden making me laugh Me and Loebbing molested Aden I heard about this This did happen Aiden was sitting there He was Honestly he was helpless Like he had

Like I don't like I don't like that I was thrown in of this Well you started Throwed in! You were the first move! You began molest again. I'll tell you what I did. Yeah, I just dumped the atorade on you guys. You did the worst thing.

I saw Aiden, okay, in his room, in front of his queen bed. Alone. Alone. It was actually a king. Okay. Because he got himself the master. I didn't.

I got the master. He got him. There was another master? Yeah, well, there's one master. He got himself the second master. me and cutie were on bunk beds mind you no you were not in the bunk bed room you were not in the bunk bed room

there was a room for little kids and then she couldn't sleep so she would go to the video game room the video game room was crazy who's top bunk in your relationship I'm a 1,000% top bunk because she would be scared of sleep on it wouldn't she be scared of it? Wouldn't you be afraid of it would be scared of it it's worse to be

especially with like the weight of wow never mind what okay if Lottweig's in the top bunk I'm not the bottom bunk the weight of Ludwig it's a lot I see Aiden in front of the king and I give him a hug

and then I pin him to the fucking bed in an act of love and I hug him what I didn't realize is Nick was behind me and then he mounts me I mount Ludwig I start Oh cool I start helping him molest Aiden Again not my plan

I just wanted to hug him And pin him to the fucking bed I can't move even if I didn't like it I wouldn't be able to move sure I like even if I didn't Wait was Josh here what did Josh do someone was watching but I didn't I didn't really notice you.

Josh, Josh walks in. Oh, that's right. Enteres from stage right. That's right. And what did you say? And begins

caressing my arm and hair. It's okay. And he said it's okay. It's okay. It's okay. Wow. And I'm touching Aiden's hair. And I'm fucking.

What was I doing? Was I asleep? This was when we were downstairs about to go on boy trip. Oh, no. It was boy trip. No. It was boy trip.

No. There was boy trip, but I wasn't part of it. You were part of boy trip. well then oh yeah it was for boychip you just weren't down yet I was just weren't down yet and I missed this you missed this

I probably would have bared witness and then we did boychip and then you say I bear witness to this yeah I would have bared witness but I didn't so I don't know so I'm crushed by the weight of two grown men one of whom of the two weighs much more than the other significantly significantly more sure

which one and it's hard to say that's good for the other guy then maybe Did you guys imagine your life up there while we were there? Did you guys for a moment? I kind of did. I'm not with anyone in the house. I imagined I lived in that weird six bedroom like crazy house. And I was like, what if I lived here alone and played MMOs for the rest of my life?

And it was ever. I ironically came. I think he would be, I think he'd be from audio. Oh, would he be happy? Do you think? I thought about it. I was like, I don't think I'd be too happy. It's too remote.

Yeah. It's very remote. Dude, it's that place. Well, there's, there's a lot of bears. There's a lot of bears. I grew up in a mountain town Mountain towns are not fun They made a worse Denny's somehow

Yeah it was Benis Benis is worse than Denny's I think Benis beats Denny's What are you talking about? We were at Benis We were at Benis and Josh Is getting laid out In the charming, ugly argument

So why is it by the way It's the fact that Josh is charming But he's ugly It's extremely ugly and gross So that Nick was conflating Charming was sexy And we were to combat his argument Going it's almost the opposite

you might see an ugly person to go their charming. I'm grossly mischaracterized. It's disgusting. And I won't reopen the conversation. You might, if you're not, if you're unattractive, you might be forced to become charming

in a way because if you're very attractive, you don't have to develop that skill set. This is common, very common idea. And Josh is listening to this part of the argument unfold and he's like, I guess I'll kill myself. And so then,

And so then Nick, who's like kind of getting 9v1, he's getting 1v 9. He's unironically getting 1v9. I was 1v1. But I felt confident. I think it's that thing that happens on the podcast where it's you realize one person is sort of on the back foot in the argument. And then everybody else starts to tack on for fun. They smell blood.

Like the argument in reality is really like three people or four people against Nick. But it's a table of 10. Well, so it results in a literal 1V9. At one point I was going to switch to Nick's side Then the waitress comes over and she goes Who got the giant Oreo milkshake And it was Nick's lunch Oh my god

And it's sat of Tadertz And oh Of course We're making things up They were hash browns It wasn't my lunch We were gonna eat dinner right after that That's lunch

No right after it No not right after Dude I was like I'm not hungry we're gonna eat a big dinner it was 2 p.m. dinner was gonna be like seven no no I had dinner that night ended up being a day

it was my meal after breakfast before dinner she sets it down she goes oh my god I forgot she brings out the dinosaur sprinkles let's just get something fucking straight okay guys get something straight I we were on the boat

and I'm on a boat and I'm on a boat has me to have and we we after I was like would it kill us to get some ice cream. I wasn't even talking about lunch. Dude, oh my god. Shut up. I know.

This is unfair. Sometimes you want cream. I know what he's going to say. I know he's going to say. Wait. It's sufferable. You were insufferable? Sidebar. No. Sidebar. There's only one way

to break the sidebar. You have to talk about your tiny piece of balls. I can't hear you. I can't hear you. He fucking, he gets in the boat and he's like, God, would an ice cream be awesome right now? he goes up to every person he does this he goes up and then he'll go up to Qaeda and be like holy imagine ice cream with this

could this say be any better and then I'll go to someone else be like you say you want ice cream he's not looking up a spot we're off the boat we're off the dog we're in the parking lot and he's like he's in the parking lot and he's like oh we suck if we got

oh I fucking hate if we got ice cream right now this is all play and then QD eventually's like out look up the spot You can just go to a spot. All right, sidebar over. What are you guys talking about? So you wanted ice cream.

Yeah, I wanted ice cream. I'm walking around being extremely normal about it. It's really asking people what they would want and if they enjoy it with me. I'm going like, fuck, man, I should suck really bad. And actually, some ice cream. We all got ice cream. We suck so bad. And no, literally no one is even looking at me.

I'm like a homeless guy who's yelling in the subway. Like people are walking. Our friends are just walking by me. I don't exist. And I'm like, oh, fuck. I love the cream right now. And Qudy gets fed up and she's like, yeah, let's just go get it. And I'm like, no, no, no one wants it.

I don't want it. She's like, no, we'll go get ice cream. I don't want it. Mom, I don't look it up. I won't go. I won't go. So she's now looking up ice cream. I'm like, I don't want it.

I don't want it. So it's not go. Right. Which, this is confusing. It's confusing. It's confusing. And, and finally, they're like, well, what if we, instead of getting ice cream, what if we got food? Yeah, this is his girlfriend.

No! I'm saying, who are you mocking? Just you know, meek, weak. I won't say who I'm mocking, but it was not my fucking fourth. She's strong, and she beat a Graveord Nito on this trip on a fucking switch. She'd be a Pito Nito. Oh, she did beat Nito the Pito. Nito, is what she calls him.

Love her to death. And so lunch was not my suggestion. I was a creamer. The, I want to... This all comes out of tracks. If he's a creamer, I was over a milkshake with Donators. When I arrived to Benis, which sounds like a restaurant, I had makeup. that's Denny's but it's not.

You walk in and it literally is a Denny's but yellow is replaced with red. It's insane what they did here. And the food is the same but a little worse because there's no charm. And there is a little fear in your heart at Benis because the town is packed. Like there is traffic.

Everything we're driving by has a line out the door. We get to Benis. It's a fucking ghost. Yeah, that's a bad sign. The bad omen. Dude, even like the most random coffee shop was like, yeah, it's 40 people in front of there. Of course I'm going to order a milkshake.

Bro, that's what I wanted. The first place, bro. This all tracks, and I think I'm on his side for the milkshake. The other shit sounds insane. But the milkshake makes sense. It's just hard when you're the charming and sexy guy, and then the milkshake comes up. That's all I'm saying.

It is hilarious. It makes you less. You don't say charming. You unfortunately got timings. Like, it doesn't matter how good of a player you are. It was bad timing. Yeah. You just swung window.

He was right there. It is what it is. No. No. I didn't. But yeah, me and Zipper, maybe we embezzle the Patreon money. We embezzle some of the L.S. money too. We live in that big-ass crazy house and we just play MMOs until we're dead.

I'll tell you what, I could never live there. Why, bro? Because the fucking drive into that place blows. Yeah, when you drive there, you don't have to ever drive out. The drive that makes you puke. Did you puke on the way back or pee? I peed. I thought you'd out.

I thought maybe you spewed. No, no. I just have to go pee-pee because I chugged my water and coffee. I, as a California boy, I, most trips I've gone on, I haven't like slept with like the windows open. It's so quiet up there. It's crazy. Yeah, nature.

I've never been anywhere that quiet. Yeah. That's what made me wonder if I could live here like in a positive way. I didn't really how much I like quiet. I'm so used to like living next to big streets. I was there and I was like, dude, this is exactly, almost one for one like Hakonet. What's that? It's just the Japanese thing version of this.

Of quiet? It's like, no, no, no, just of, like mountain town with a lake. Okay. Like Hakon. Can you look up Hakonai? Hakonai is just like... Big Beru.

What is this? Is this have to do with Hakkne? Kuma? Khmu. That's Hakkone. That's Hakkune. This is a Hakkone. So it's like up a giant mountain

and there's a lake. And they do all the same shit. They have pirate ship tours. The only difference I guess is they have own sends. Man, what was that big ass video about that town that experienced a boom because of anime? There was like an anime that was set in a town.

Yeah, your name. Forks. No. It's not your. name. It's not forks. But it is interesting. Oh, Kion. It's not Kion. It is Kian. I don't think it is. Kian. It's okay. I don't think it is. I love when he said. It's okay. It's all right. I got there. Now I have to look it up. Talk amongst yourself. I got there. Look up Kion tourism boom. He wouldn't like, but anyway, Anthony didn't come of the boat. There's

too much chop. I realize. There was a lot of shop. There's too much shop for him. I realized, though, that I was like, I first was like, I'd hate this place. But then I was like, I would love to to live in Akkadah. Oh, look at that. Keyon anime tourism boom transformed Toyosato, a small village in Shiga Prefecture. I think it's a different one. It's all right. I got there. Yeah, I got there. It's okay. It's okay. Fucking got there. There's a fucking pilgrimage. I have a clarifying question about the chop, by the way, for you when you have a moment. Ask the question and I'll answer for him. What is the difference between the Chinese chop that we went on? Yep. And the American

chop in his eyes. I would say the American chop we experienced was primarily generated by machines. Yeah, that's it. That's a main difference. And the Chinese chop was win. No, no, I mean from the perspective of not wanting to be on the boat. I mean, I mean, this all adds up. Is it you saying it's more chop?

I think I felt more helpless in China because we literally couldn't move the boat. Well, the Chinese shop is more consistent. It's uniform. The American shop is a guy with an American flag and a black slide going down. And a weather machine that creates chop. Yes. And he creates the chop. And the chop is much more aggressive, but shorter than the weather chop.

Because you can't generate that chop with the pedal boat. But do you think that he calculated all of that. Yeah. I actually think he can do all that. Do you agree? I had to go on the boat because I can't swim. But you went on the boat in China. Oh, and the Chinese boat.

I'm asking the difference between the Chinese chop and the American chop. Well, were you guys on a bigger boat? Bigger boat. His vessel matters. Yeah, a little. It was a larger vessel. It was a slightly bigger vessel. It was much bigger.

I feel like it was much bigger. The vessel we were on was very small and very cramped. It was much bigger. We were cramped on the Chinese one. The front part was the difference. But in like the scope of boats. What are we talking about? Yeah.

It's a terrible. It wasn't a huge boat. Like we like it's like maybe maybe 25% larger. But it was a bigger body of water. For sure. I don't know about boats or water. I don't know. And that's it.

It was more. He was a fucking no. It was more chop than I imagined. I thought it'd be real still. There was a moment where there was like this giant boat and they created this huge wave and I was new to the chop and I was driving. Dude.

And I was like, I'll power through the chop. You go through the chop. You just fucking rip it in. I'll cut through the chop. But what I realized is when I cut through the chop, I end up like a fucking, you know, Jaws ship and I go into the water and then I bounce out

and I blast the foids. It was like a, There wasn't a FOID left to unsoaked. I think we lost one in it. I don't know who. I don't actually know who. I just know that one was like, I just heard like a Wilhelm scream.

We had to keep going. And I still wasn't the worst driver. Josh was the worst driver. Josh was a horrible driver. Josh can't drive a car. He doesn't have a license. He shouldn't have driven. Yeah.

It was a two minute endeavor and it stressed me out. But you know what I didn't get is you made, I would argue you made the biggest mistake of the day. But we put you back on as if you were the, because he got us through it. Can I ask you a question? Yeah. When Josh Allen throws an interception, do you put in the backup?

Sometimes it make mistakes, but you need to finish the game. Because you know he's the best guy for the job. But imagine a world where we were in the chop and Josh is driving. Imagine that. Our boat would have flipped. We would be dead. He would have done something so wrong that you go upside down. What did not put us in chop?

He got us through chop. I got us through the chop. We survived it. We survived the chop, the great chop. Yeah, it was funny because everyone came home from the boat. I took a nap and I watched some soccer game. Disgusting imbae, Imfloppe. More like.

That's what he made up. I like. Wow. Yeah. Do you know another French player from that? No. And that's right. But he flopped a lot.

Anyway, I watched that game and I played blot. Anyway, I didn't go on a boat. Everyone comes back and everyone kind of trickles into the place one by one. And I'm kind of like, I was a boat. And everyone's like, it was windy. And the only thing they immediately brought up was that there was, there was chop. It was cold and windy.

It was cold and windy. And let me tell you it felt colder and windier when you got hit by a blast of chop water. Of dirty lake water. So did you, did you enjoy it? Are you happy you lost the bet? Yeah,

that's fine. I thought about this a lot and I was like, I got home and I was like, I'm going to be sort of, it's a you like crabby patties, don't you squidward? Yes. And I'm like,

I'm going to get that from the guys. But the conclusion I came to is, was people's I would have been fine to not go but I went and it was also fine and it's unfortunate but I'm just very agnostic to it but that's not unfortunate because I think we had more fun because you were there.

I guess that's net positive though but I genuinely besides my girlfriend I don't believe that I don't think you had more fun that I was there I know she did I played a lot of street fighter with you yeah but if you would have just played something else you guys hyper bit in the fucking

when you say no hyperbiting and it's like... Dude, you gotta talk to her. I'm not talking to her. You gotta talk to her. I'm not talking to her. Like, let's not pretend your FOID didn't do the same shit.

She doesn't... Her eyes were fucking cross-playing that game. She didn't know what she was doing. She hyperbid me. Yuck, well, she hyperbite you. It's the most to chew on. She also knew what hyperbiting was. My Ford came up with hyperbiting.

She did invent hyperbiting on first principles. She did. In the old house? No, she discovered it there. We're playing warrior wear. There's a forbidden tech called hyperbiting when you get to the third floor and you play the turtle game, Itchy Tani. And you wiggle the stick, you dash dance and you press A and you can cancel bites with more bites and you will guarantee someone falls off their turtles. You can get them off like two turtles.

You can get them off one turtle. I've seen it, Ludwig. It's crazy. It's crazy. It is crazy. We've had an AFK where someone didn't realize, like, if they hold the stick, they die. And then we was like, try hyperbiting. It works on one turtle.

It's crazy. Yeah. And so the house rule is no hyperbiting. No hyperbiting. And the girls love doing it. Well, cutie, Cudy, I think heard the term hyperviting and then discovered how to do it.

She started gaming like they do in Swiffer commercials. She was like, and she happened to do the exact inputs for hyperbiting, which is wiggling both your fingers. And then beat Nick and Nick and Nick got mad and he said no hyperbiting, which she respected from then on. She never hyperbid again.

I think it's noble though that she found, she had discovered, she's like found out about wave dashing in her house without YouTube. Zipper 2 knew about it still hyperbbit me. And that's dirty shit. She found wobbling in her house. Yes. And she started doing it. She's like, wait, you're not able to get out of this. Zipper 2 already knew about wobbling. And then wobbled me.

It's true. It's true. There's no rules. You guys have no rules. It's bedlam. It was me and Ludwig last, and she hyperbites Ludwig, forgive me the win. And that's beautiful. I mean, that's what it's all about. We're all on the deck later. This is on the 4th of July. The fireworks start at like 9 p.m. and we're all out there. with the girl sitting nice looking at it. You're painting a picture that it was like awesome.

This is beautiful. And this is what I'm going to punctuate it with. I'm going to send a picture to the group chat. And over the course of the weekend, we've been using a phrase a lot. W. Goons. Yeah, that's W.R. L. Gunes. And Zipper 3 whispers in my ear because you guys keep saying,

this is, this is El Goons. It was El Goons. It was really far away. The fireworks was too far. It felt like looking at fireworks on your phone because that's about how the big they were, to our eye in reality. I got some pictures of is it Burkine Poulamont?

And we had to break down the etymology of the phrase W and L. Goods during the fireworks as they're going off. Yeah, it was kind of fun to explain all the machinations behind it because I think we had a really salt. I think we could be teachers, really. I think we really well educated your girlfriend on what this all means and why. She's like, what, it's about masturbating. She was too caught up in the masturbating.

It's like, it's not... No, it moves past that, right? Like, you know, you could have a big stack of pancakes and you're hungry. Some of the fireworks. This looks crazy. You get a picture of all. That one's kind of beautiful. Yeah, they were really pretty...

Just pure boca. I like that one. And they went on for 30 minutes, and this is the... It was a great... Wait, while, and viewer, while you're looking at these beautiful fireworks, imagine you're hearing in the background... Elginz. So, no, it's not really to do with masturbating.

It's more of a proverbial masturbation. But you can use it from masturbating. Yes, of course. And that was our cap on the 250th anniversary. Can we tell it? Of this great. Can we tell a fart story? A fart story?

Do we tell the fart story? You can't. Dude, you can't. I mean, it's for, you get this, right? You gate this. We'll anonymize it. Okay, I'm going to tell it. I'm going to tell it anonymously.

So someone who I've been sleeping with recently has been taking, Iron supplements. Okay. And iron supplements, what they can do is increase your ferritin W, but also make you more constipated L. L. L.

And this person I've been sleeping with, who I'm not going to name, has been taking enough iron that they get constipated over a course of days, like two, three, sometimes four days. And then, you know, that's a lot of poop. Oh, it's a lot of poop. Oh, it's got over to go. And where do fart? And I'll fill it up.

And if you guys don't know, fart comes from poop. Yep. It's not like fart is... Except for his for some reason. Mine comes from the sky. Fart is a glass that goes through your body that gets stinkier when it passes poop, poop makes the fart. And so I guess this person, I don't know, I don't want to name them,

but had created such an evil fart that when they let it out at bedtime when we were sleeping together. Yeah. I, it was the word. I had to leave the room. room clearing It was the worst part I've ever smelled But you tried to power through it

Right Because I was sleeping with this person For however long Yeah like I'm asleep with him So I don't want him to feel bad Oh is there a dead rat somewhere I feel a dead rat It's like I try to play it cool

But it just wasn't It wasn't viable Really So yeah it just wasn't a viable strat to stay Because I So you climb down from the top bunk It's creaking Uh huh

It's scary Really hot air rises Yeah So I get out over there and I leave for like 10, 15 minutes and then and then this person I'm assuming that actually starts feeling bad comes to get me and it goes, good.

It's a coast clear and what I found out is it's never going to be clear again. No, it's gonna live there. It's sad? It's gotten into the cracks. It lives with us now. And then, but then I told you guys in privacy. Yeah. And privacy and bumping.

We held strong. She told us this. Oh yeah, you told us this. I told you first. I told you in privacy. Sorry, it's not she, it's a gender neutral. They told us this. They brought it up later. They brought it up. They actually under their own accord.

It was a respiratory commutable. Also during the fireworks. During the fireworks. And then the issue is you guys played it shitty. You didn't play it cool. I said, what? This is the first I'm hearing of this. Which is natural thing to say here.

Oh my God. What a revelation. Yeah, I said something like, there's no way this has happened. that I have not been described what has happened at all in a car before. I've never heard something like this. From your body. And you fucking sold me out.

And now this person who I've been sleeping with is fucking, was fucking fuming and hits me now. Yeah, she immediately like real. She put it all together so fast. They. They, he could be really anyone. Yeah. Put it together really quickly that we all do. Yeah, Nick.

The voice didn't help me, bro. It's funny. It's such a, it's such a like. random story that like one time you farted so bad your boyfriend left the room that for her to bring it up and then like us already know it i would immediately be like what else did you fucking tell them it can't be that i randomly hit the one embarrassing fucking thing right like what else could you possibly have told them yeah like we were all like a story circle well you know why it's because ludwig needed to tell somebody yeah you know he didn't he couldn't sit with this you don't come back

to him yeah he was it happened to him you know come back from war and keep the experience yourself. Yeah, you go to a group. You talk in a circle and you get really drunk. How does a therapist handle that question? Actually, I'm actually asking. Like, how would it like, if you went to a therapist, session one, you know, like, so what's been on your mind? Like, why did you consider therapy? It's like, well, my girlfriend farts so disgustingly, I leave the room. I want her to stop. How does that? How does that? It's gross. I want to throw up. How have you tried talking to her? Have you tried talking to her? Have you tried talking to her about it? Yeah. Yeah, I told her the fart smells like poop and. When she

What did she say after you said it sounds like shit? I can't poop. I'm trying, can't poop. And I'm like, we're just poop because of smell. Do you think she's not trying hard enough? Do you think this is a her inability? Yeah, I think if I had to poop, I would. Because that's always I've always done.

So you think she's not trying hard enough and does that maybe frustrate you? I didn't even know she could poop. But now I have to know because she farts and it smells like it. Well, I'm a therapist and I'm a woman. Do you think I can poop? Are you coming on to me? That's inappropriate. I'm paying for your service.

And then we have sex. Yes. Yeah, Nick's good at therapy Wow, found really charming Therapy one But actually, like, is that something that you could actually You think in a relationship you could tell a girl You need to work on your poops?

I mean, sure. Could you guys muster that up? No, because I think, I think poop is something that the party pooping cares more about. You'd ask you to leave the room to fart. That's more fair? That's more fair, yeah, but like I think ultimately, like, it's like something that they're,

working on. You know what I mean? I think I just, I harass her about it. Like, I, I embarrass her for her poop related problems. Yeah. If she, make it feel bad. I say, I say, you're rotting. You, you, you, you have something rotting on the inside of you. Make it stop. Make it stop because it's bothering you. Why are you rotten? And does this affect you as a person? Dude, cute you did come through with the fucking, the, the, the fruity pebble rice Krispies. It hit like crack, bro. Weren't those fucking crazy? She came through. She, like, rolled up the bags, like, half-baked, and there's a bunch of joints in it.

Yeah. But it was just muddy buddies and, like, and awesome snacks. And I was like... And Josh is like, I've never had those. And I give him one. He's like, oh, it's fruit loops. And I'm like, no. But it's such a backwards.

It's not fruit. It's fucking free pebbles, you weird bitch. It's stupid. Yeah, dude. They're different. She does make awesome fucking snacks. And now I'm 190 pounds. And I'm getting called fat again.

No. I, yeah. Me too. said that, bro. You guys call me fat like eight times this episode. Hold on. I felt it when you were on top of me. See?

I lived the 190. I felt it. I felt the 190. Would you put you? It's not even 190 by the way. I lied about that. It's 189.6. You're getting up there again.

189.6, it's not even 190. Depends on the scale at that point, right? Like some are going to work. Yeah, that's just a calibration issue. I'm probably going to read like 188.7. Have you calibrated? I'm calibrated, bro. You squashed me down with it is the point.

I felt, I lived it. Cletus. Yeah You know when you're on the job site Instruction site that you work on All the time And you just forget lunch again Forget to eat

Forget I'll get six hours in My tummy starts a roadblood Ain't that just the worst Well I hired these two city folks Dude sometimes it's so loud Cody says he can hear it With the headphones on That's amazing

Hello we're two metro Sexuals from the city I hired them to come help us figure out How to eat on the job site Because I can't figure it at it What do you know about the job site My name's Genevieve, and I'm here to help you guys. Genevieve, and that's, uh...

My name's Carlos. That's Carlos and Genevieve. I don't even know how you two know each other. Well, we're here, we're here, and we know each other actually from a bar. It's a, it's a bar called the Abbey. We met, and, um... Yeah, we were just socializing there. We had a really good time socializing.

Has beer, I love it, so... Yeah, maybe you should come. You'd like it a lot. You should come. Okay. But I am more hungry than I'm thirsty. Let's talk about that for a moment. You guys are on the construction site, and you're working really hard, and, you know,

Maybe you're scared of giant piano's going to fall on your head and turn you into accordion. Where you work is a dangerous place and it's dangerous and you know what else is dangerous. Being hungry all the time. Which is why we've developed this product called Huel. Now, what we both did, that's this product right here. What we both did is we formulated this. Please let me take this away. Boys, I cannot imagine it has enough protein of what I require to work the job site.

I require a lot of protein on the job side. I'm going to get, gentlemen, gentlemen, gentlemen, you're going to get 35, trans of protein, you're going to get 27 essential vitamins and minerals. Yeah, it's a complete meal. It's under $5 a meal. It's gluten-free if you can't. Actually, we shouldn't. Never mind.

It has, uh, it's, it's a complete meal. Glute free. It's, it's, it's, don't, don't worry about that. But, my son is celiac. He would love that. Oh, that's perfect. Let's keep moving on. The black edition powder is probably my favorite.

Uh, it's easy. It's ready to drink. It's the same high protein, but you can add fruit, maybe nut butter, some I. You can really change. a flavor profile of Hewlett. He said Genevieve? Genevieve, that's my name. Genevieve, I met her in Montreal one year.

Hew brings us together in that way. We could all get energized and hang out for long periods of time. I don't know. I think I might need to wait for some sort of limited time offer, because I don't know if I can sell out for this. I'm a sucker for sales. We have a limited time offer right now. If you get Heal today, today only,

you have an exclusive offer of 15% off online with code Yard 15 at Huel.com slash yard 15. New customers only. You guys haven't been customers before. never been a customer of anything. That's perfect. You go to this website, it's a thing that happens

on your phone or the computer, and then you order the Hule, it comes to your house, and then you'll be as energetic as we are. Cleodest, think fast. Goddamn! That's Hule. Get open that!

That's how quickly you can get it ready to eat. Oh, this would be, I can just hold this on the job site. Is this my phone or my computer? Thank you to Huel for partnering and supporting our show. Anyway, I'm gonna, I decided, we don't know when,

but I'm going to trap you all in a room. I love this idea We have an idea It's called I don't know what it's called Not a name guy Yeah I'm not a name guy We're trying to peel the skin off of Mr. Beast

Before he realizes that we've sedated him Just a bit by bit That's what it's called But the content of it's very different We're gonna go all five of us Playing Counterstrike 2 in a room That were all locked in But you guys are allowed to leave

And until until I hit a goal I don't know what the goal is yet though Yeah I think 16K Maybe suggest a goal Because he was saying 16K Elo, which would be difficult for you, but like, is that interesting? It's a bet I have.

Do you know, so do you know about this bet? No. I made a bet with Squeaks, Leslie, and Ray. Squeaks was to hit face of level 10. And then Leslie Ray and I all have to hit 16K before the end of the year. If we don't, then we have to do a 24-hour stream and the people who did hit 16K get all the proceeds from it. What are their ranks?

Leslie and Ray. What are the ranks? I think Leslie right now is. after the big scamming. Wait, what happened. Oh, so here's what happened. So, and you might be thinking, oh, it's cheating if you do a five sec.

It's not. They've all been five sacking. And initially, they were five sacking with a pro on, like, a Smurf account. Silent. Silent. And it was a bot smurf account.

It was purchased. And they hit crazy ranks. Like, I think Ray at one point was like 15.5K. Ray was a couple games away. Yes. And then goes to bed, wakes up. and then the game's like you're unranked

shit what the fuck that account that he bought got banned and all the Elo game from those games really fucking funny just like it's like when the

guys that like award shows will pull the tablecloth but all the shit just came up it came down with it is just who video of that aging guy who does that trick

but always hides his penis with the thing that stays in the table but he shows he reveals his penis to a group of women for the first time. Yeah. It's like that.

And then she's now at like, I don't know, I want to say like 10, 5 maybe. And Leslie's similar like 10. They think they're like 11. Leslie's below 10? She's below 10. How much more below 10? Couldn't imagine that. Like 9.

Probably 9. Okay, my idea isn't worth then. But I was going to say your goal rank could be the combination of both their ranks. I think just the 16K keep his sweet. Like that's the goal. And I think it's going to be hard because everyone will be on their mains. Right? So the goal is to be the second best member of F slur.

It's not the second best member. It's to just hit the 16K goal. Okay. Because everyone could theoretically hit it, but it's like a relatively hard goal to hit. Who's our fifth? That's a big question. I was about to ask.

I think it makes it more exciting if we make it Joshman. Oh my God, bro. No, no, no, no. No, no, no, no. Why? No, no, no, no. If you guys don't know, Josh has been playing Counterstrike.

He's a melee player. He doesn't get it. It's weird. It's the first time he's been bad at a game in my knowing of him. Not just bad. Josh was beating us in Street Fighter. He's like, you know, he's got

not a lot of hours in that game. But Counterstrike, he's bad in a way that's like really crazy. He's never played a shooter before. So he is just starting from the most square one, square one. You know how when like you watch videos of goats being born and they just get shit out?

and they're like trying to walk and shit and they fall over. That's Josh on Mirage with his crosshair. He's always looking at some crack. That's his opponent and he's missing. Yeah. It's also his opponent. Or sometimes, to be fair,

it's a goat that has like cybernetic armor and it's flying around. Yeah. Sometimes, yeah. Sometimes it's just a man with a shotgun. Yeah. But Josh man is, I mean, it's... So it's us five.

We're all trapped. We got a fucking week to grind. Get me to 16K. And we, yeah, well, that's a care. Josh up as well. Carrying Josh. That does make it interesting because Nick and Aden are good in a way that makes it skewed toward climbing. We're the same and Josh is like this dirty little. What was that face? I don't make a face. You made a little. Did you make a face? And he said you're the same. You made a face. What's your win rate look like? What did you say? What's your win rate look like? I'm not I'm not sure. I'm not sure.

Is it under 50%? What you're getting upset. I'm not. I said something you heard something I did. You made a face. when I said we're the same. Wait, you say what? Archie, can you run an instant replay? We'll just check him from face with me. Please run it with the black and white waisted. And then Josh is someone who is... So we're the same.

And Josh is a bit lower. I agree with all this. The fifth player, up for debate, we'll discuss it. We'll discuss it. And I think, but I don't think Nick and Aiden make it easier. They make it harder. They make harder opponents appear. Yes.

I think because of the... the way this game does matchmaking, which is the worst horrendous matchmaking that has ever existed in a competitive popular video game ever. It will make it, it makes it harder. Yes, because it'll be balanced around, but your Elo's tanked tremendously. It doesn't matter. I don't know if it matters for it like they're hidden MMR. Oh, because you're hidden MMR. I think the issue is that it generally, when you queue with five stacks of high disparity, it leans the opponents towards the end of your group. So like, it'll be...

I think that adds up. I think it's better than leaning it towards the low end of the group. Well, I will argue that the point disparity that you may earn, which people care about, because you're playing for points, is weighted towards...

Like, if you have a Joshman on your team, you stand to make 7 million points. Yeah. And usually the other guy is a solo cue guy who's like, what the fuck? And it is... It is a bit of terrorism when you cue into...

You queue into our stack, and you have the plus 100 minus 600 games and it's like why are you doing this to me and it's because Josh is just standing there like a pickman going

I honestly I'm fully convinced it's random because I've seen the plus minus I've seen no correlation I've had games where like I'm the highest rank

buy a lot in the lobby like it's just I'm the only person here and we're like in a stack and they're all everyone in the team is like below fucking 14 somehow and it's like yeah

you win 500 points if you win that well surely it's not like they have some algorithm it's not good Figure it out. Maybe that's part of their goal. Maybe.

Don't be fucking figure outable. So this is our five, our five stack to get you to 16K. I think I had too much. And then, oh, and then I'm not done. We get a giant bed like the one in Willy Wonka. We all sleep on the bed at night. It's huge. And then we wake up and then every day changes whose person, whose job it is to make breakfast.

We all wear sleeping caps and gowns. We all wear sleeping caps and gowns. And then there's like, it's like, okay, Nick's Monday. Nick has to wake up Monday morning. He has to make everyone breakfast. I like this. I'm a little spoon. I'm Wednesday.

Yeah, he'll be a little spoon. And the spots in the better assign. You can't switch spots. I like that too. Wait, why does Aidan spot have a stain? It's just his spot. It's just his, but no one else should be there. Oops.

Skidmark. Wait, why is there a giant tower five guys on? Are they molesting him? There's a, there's a scene in Harold and Kumar too when they escape from Guantanua Bay. It's not a great movie. It's not, but it has. boobs. It has boobs and it has this really great moment where this guy

these two guys are being interrogated and this guy who's interrogating him takes a dictionary and wipes his ass with it and there's like a shit stain. It's a gross shit. This like side character is like why is your ass so dirty? Don't you wipe? And I think about it all the time and I thought about it just then. It is crazy

there was shit already to go. It's a lot of shit. It's a real question. It was like a cartoonishly large amount of shit. I'm so glad you know you have like a memory of this movie so clearly. I know. I watched it a lot to jerk off, but then also for the jokes. Yeah. W. Goons.

At the time, W. Guins. It was W. Guins. And then Cal Penn went and worked for Obama after getting his character, his character killed himself on house. So he had to work for Obama. It's all crazy. It's all crazy. He was a good actor, too. Yeah, but they just had him kill himself. What do you think of, um, what do you think, what's the reward for getting there? It's just you don't have to do it anymore. Yeah. Or is it like a thing? Well, the reward is that I don't have to do the 24-hour stream. Yeah. And, then I could also get paid from their 24-hour streams.

Can you get us like a really dope sponsorship from like fucking McDonald's? And we can just get dirty sodas fucking piling into that room. Nick discovered dirty sodas and he's getting a little addicted. They're good, man. I wouldn't say I'm getting addicted. Bro, go to Mormon country. I had one in Big Bear. Go to Mormon country and find the fuck out.

I would love to. Go to Swig and drink everything they have. What is Swig? Does it look up Swig? Is it a place? I can imagine it's some sort of soda. chain. It's a dirty soda crazy. That is literally what it is. Do it is the old

fashion way? Yes. Yeah, and they're making that shit the old fashioned way. Is it fair? The populist idea is that Gen Z is so adverse to drinking in drugs that, but sugar has become the new drug. So now you get the Dragon Dew or the founder. I need this. I know, I'm telling you, you would love this. Diet Coke, SF coconut, fresh lime, plus coconut

cream. Can you scroll? I want to see more flames. Beach Babe. Buttery beer. That looks so. Sweet. Yeah, this fucks me up. I think they're just using the same picture over and over again. Why? Yeah, they are. Because you can't drink coffee if you're Mormon, right?

Yes. Is it not because of the caffeine? Sugar's and fruits, bitch. It's hot. It's hot beverages with caffeine. It's specific, the Carvada is specifically hot beverages with caffeine. If I heat up soda, can they not drink it anywhere?

You'd probably be fine, but maybe someone would be strict enough to not touch it. What about an iced coffee? No. It's not hot. What the fuck are we doing? No, because coffee's hot. What?

Even if it's ice, it's hot. No, it's not. What if I... And soda's cold. What if I make it? It's cold. What if I'm going to be cold. So does fucking cold.

Okay. Don't say soda's fucking hot. That's making sense. I get that soda's cold. It's cold. It's cold. We have the technology, I think, to make a tea

without the water ever getting hot. I bet. Yeah, you can cold steep a tea. Yeah. But still, can you drink? So can you drink? Well, I understand now. Wait, is cold brew allowed?

No, no, coffee's hot. Yeah, I get, I got a shan. Coffee is filed into just always hot. Yeah, coffee's hot. If I heat up a soda, again, if I heat an episode, if I just heated it up. So it's cold. So it's cold, do you understand? But I can make it hot, sure.

Yeah, but it's cold. Yeah, but it's cold. You get it? You can't eat. You can eat. You can eat soup? Well, soup doesn't have caffeine. There's caffeine in it, doesn't.

Caffeine doesn't have anything to do with it. Caffeine doesn't have anything to do with it. Yeah. It's hot. It's hot. has everything to do. How are you not following? Hot and caffeine is the problem.

Oh my God. Wait, so if I put caffeine in the soup, they can't eat it anymore. That's interesting. Let's talk about that. If I crush a caffeine pill into soup, can they eat it? Is it like intentional?

Like, are you drugging them? No, no, no. They know. I'm just asking. I season it with a bit of caffeine. You wouldn't be able to. You wouldn't be able to. hot in caffeine. I think this

is against the rules. Yeah. Because imagine a new drink came out. And it was a hot drink with caffeine, but the base was soup. And we called it flurped. Warm milk to go to sleep. That was fine. That's fine. There's no caffeine. You're missing the caffeine every time. Why does the caffeine not matter in the soda?

It's cold. It's cold. Energy drinks. Energy, red ball. Totally fine. Coldest drinks They love energy. That's fine. Is this true? Dude, this is got a crazy. Wait, wait, wait. Are you serious? Yeah, yeah. I get it. Dr. drinks are almost as cold as beer. Yes. It's like almost as cold as beer. So if I'm Mormon,

I can crush bowls. Yes. I can crush a red bull. And to be clear. Munk fruit addition. What was, what was? Did you see them look at the? Monk fruit, red ball. Edition. Hot drinks are not for the body or belly, says Smith's brother, he rum.

Guess I got a butt show. Do Mormons, I have a question. Do Mormons hate hate the Chinese? Uh-huh. This is a good question. No. Not to your knowledge. No, no, I think the Mormons hope to spread the gospel to China. But I feel like they'd this... They love the Chinese because there's... There'd be a dislike of things in Chinese culture due to this premise.

All right, there was an L-D... I think that's fine. I think the Mormon love the Chinese because there's so many of them and that so many people... Guys, guys, Mormon lesson. A hymnographer, an LDS missionary hymnographer, Joel H. Johnson, 1881. He and Joseph Smith shared this interpretation.

I understand that some of the people are excusing themselves and using tea and coffee, because the Lord only said hot drinks in the revelation of the Word of Wisdom. Tea and coffee. Tea and coffee are what the Lord meant when he said hot drinks. It's funny that the Lord is saying hot drinks. They didn't have Red Bull yet. They didn't have Red Bull.

You think if he's making that in 2026, he's like, ah, Red Bull's show. This is a giant Wikipedia article. This is very contested. It wouldn't matter because Red Bull's cold. And in here, in here, look, the LDS church leaders have no official position on a So, he has nothing to do with it, Ludwig. Well, it's hot drinks. No, but it does have something to do with it.

If I give you a piping hot chicken noodle soup in a cup with caffeine in it, you can consume it. Yeah, that's fine. If you're a Mormon. I think it's fine. Okay. But I think, I think it would be weird. But not, not what do you call it, a sin.

I think as a person, like, because most people would be like, why is there caffeine in it? They would be the same. What's my morning soup? Oh, but that would be weird. Let's go to church now. You know how they can't. Like you're not supposed to watch rated R movies? Yeah.

It's like, was Joseph Smith, did he know about the MPAA when he wrote that shit? I would hope so. Or how some games are rated E-10. Love it like chocolate, chocolate milk hot or cold? Chocolate milk is hot. And chocolate milk. Hot to you. That's so interesting.

That is so interesting. Are you an F.R? Chalk, chocolate milk is hot. Yeah. If you're not, if you can't drink chocolate of milk? drink hot chocolate. Well, you just said it's not, huh? There's no caffeine.

We just established the caffeine has nothing to do with it. That's different. It's a vibe. It's a vibe. You don't fucking get it. You don't get it. You're lost.

This is making me think, we need a new religion that is tuned for the modern person. That has to include shit like gooning on Instagram and fucking dirty sodas and drone strikes and shit. Like, you know,

like one that, 2026, Joseph Smith still wants a lot of wives, for sure. but also says no reels. Okay, let's invent a religion right now. Okay. No, rule one.

Many wives you want. Many. Yeah, you have infinite wives. Can I add rule two? Rule two. Only one wife. Only one wife. I like this.

Because you only really have one. I like this. And they can have as many husbands as they want. No, no, no, no, no. All of your wives can, except for your one wife. The one wife can only have one husband. The one wife. And it's capital O, capital, W.

The one wife can. can have one husband, but the rest of the wives can have as many husbands as they want. Okay. And you can have as many as wives as you want, but not a one wife. And then the same version, a woman in this religion can have as many husbands. So if you're in the second, the one husband. You're in the second cast of wives, let's say, you could have four, five, six husbands. But yes. Now, okay, so we invented marriage. But all the other, all the other wives, they can only have me as their husband. No, no, no, no. All the wives can have infinite husbands. And all the men are.

What is the one wife? This is like a famous cousin thing. This is like every wife can have Nick. Because you don't think, because you can have infant wives, but you can only have one wife. You know? Yeah.

And so, no, I said yeah, but I meant no. You can have as many wives as you want, but you can only have one wife. I get to, no,

I'm with you. You have to have the one wife. I get that. The one wife is your, and you can't have a second. What are her perms? Huh? What does she granted?

What do you mean? Loyalty. she's also your only she has to get perks though right if you're gonna go one because one wife one wife is giving up her right to plethora

is she my bottom B wait to be clear the one wife can have as many husbands as she want I thought you had to be a cast two wife that's what I was confused about because you said that the one wife can have as many husbands as she want what's the other wife

she can only have one husband the one husband she only have one I see one the one husband yes she can have many husbands she only have one husband this is I understand This is really just an open relationship with a primary partner. Whatever you want to call it.

I don't want to see it. That helps you package. Whatever you learn in China. Do I have to hide my, one wife from my tier two wives? What do you mean hide? Maybe nothing in this relationship. We don't hide things from God, do we?

No, because you can't. Third rule. Yep. If you choose Xbox, you can never have PlayStation. And if you choose PlayStation, you can never have Xbox.

You choose one for life. And if I have a Wii? And it's, And it's a ceremony that happens at age 11. I was going to say, yeah, it's like a bar mitzvah. It's like a fun, like, you step on the console you don't want. What about Switch kids? They're like the outcast of society.

But what that means, what you're actually saying is you can have a Switch and then so make your decision later, which makes Switch the more flexible option, which is bad. Well, I guess Switch you can have as a console before the age of 11. You can be like a 6-year-old of the Switch. Here's the question. Can you withhold your decision before age, after age 11? No.

I think it could be like, you have to do it. It could be like confirmation in Catholicism. Sometimes you do it in eighth grade, sometimes you do it in 12th. No, it's 11. Okay. It's 11. I'm fine with it. This is our religion.

We make the rules. Fourth rule, no hot drinks on cold days. No cold drinks on hot days. I actually want to add an amendment to this rule. An amendment? It's four. What even is that? An amendment for me.

I would like to amend it. I would like to say you can only drink whatever we're sponsored by that year. We? But the church is sponsored by that. The church has a marketing art. The church has a... The church has a... Yes.

I think that's good. The church is, you know, beholden to their sponsors, wants to be a good partner in the relationship. And because of that, you know, it's a hule year. The church should be able to make

tax-free profits off of its sponsors. The church enjoys tax-exempt status. And that's just the truth. I have a rule, Rule 5, Thursday's DVD night. I like this. Okay. I like this.

Hey, he's put up with a lot here and we should give him this one. I think he's... I think that's fine. And so is DVD night every household watches a DVD, or is there one showing that everyone goes to either town? Or does everyone have their own copy of the one DVD? No, no, no, no, no.

It's not a cult. It's not a cult. It's not a marketed, sponsored, awesome religion. And no, it's not a one DVD. You could go to a showing on DVD night. You could stay in. You know, you have flexibility. But it just must be on a DVD.

It's important that you have a DVD night. But is it where, what is the venue? Is it a movie theater? could be outside in the park. You could watch heat. It could be inside at home. Question. Question. If you watch it at the park and someone's using Amazon Prime video, is that all right? No.

That's not DVD. No, you know what? I'm changing it. You have to watch Heat on DVD. Okay. I was going to... I was about to ask if it had to be heat most of the time. It's Heat Night on DVD. Every Thursday. You watch Heat. I got Head at Heat on DVD Night.

Birch. And you know, and for like Youth Center, like you do it. on Thursday night. It's like, you know, we'll go rock climbing, we'll do a little prayer, and then we'll watch heat. I like that. It's a community gathering building. I think no short form video at all. Band.

Who banned? Like hot drink. Yeah, like hot drink. I think our religion should be about not banning things, but incorporating things. The more we ban, the more those kids before 11 are going to get mad at the PlayStation. How about this? We, akin to the Neney Challenge. You can watch shorts, but if anyone sees you, you die.

I like this. If anyone catches you, you're dead. Even one of your wives, it could be your fucking, it could be your dog. Your dog could watch you. Except the one wife. Oh, you can watch. The one wife is pure. The one wife is sacred.

Wait. The one wife. I can watch. Does that mean we have to watch together? I can watch my one wife watch. You and her can watch your own shorts. You can watch her shorts. You can watch your shorts.

You can watch separately. But I cannot get the other wives involved. No. And presumably not their husbands. Well, the thing is, if they catch you, they kill you. They kill you. And there's actually a ceremony, the gun, the ceremonial gun. Can I have a one husband?

That was my next question. Can the one husband have a one husband? Not if they have a one wife. So it just needs to be my one. I don't think that conflicts. I don't think that's kind of conflict. I have to have a one. You can have a one husband if you want.

You can have a one wife. You can't have a one wife and a one husband. Okay. We were born sexually dimorphic, but in this. religion, we can do whatever we want, but it has to be one. I think this is fair. I feel like we need a place to meet.

Wait, but can wives have, can wives have one wives? What would we call our, I think we should like, get in front of that before. You don't like that? I think we should get in front of that. I don't know, be they going to have one wives. Okay. I'm not voted. We call it three to one.

I, I want to, I want to, I want to, I'm voting on this. I mean, we are vending the religion. We can vote on things and he says, he says, He was talking about outvoting his... One-wife, one-wife situation he doesn't want. Are you with or against me? I'm with. You're with me?

No. So now it's a tie. But now it's a tie. What does the religion do for ties? I'm sorry. The religion needs a rule for ties. I'm sorry. Was it not to be supposed to be with him?

It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. It's what you want. You are with them. In the vote of sacred. The vote is sacred. I can't change my vote. No, you can't teach your vote. Of course not.

It would be sacrosan. Can I change my vote to your side? Yes. Yes. Yeah. You know, I said that genuinely, I didn't even consider it breaks my rule. Yeah, sacrosan. That just wanted it.

I wanted you on my side. What's our temple? I think we need a temple, and I think we should take over every single Denny's. Magnolia. The mall. Magnolia. Magnolia is where like the Pope lives. We're in the back of every best body.

Every magnolia becomes our church grounds. Every magnolia has a cardinal. And every magnolia now sells heat on DVD. Yeah. It's like, if you need to. It is. And non-religious people walk in, they're like, why is it always heat? It's walking in.

20 TVs all playing different parts of heat. Yeah. Yeah, okay. We need a name. Names are tough. Oh, we need a name. I was thinking about that. Names are tough.

It could be the church of blank. It could be, the name is the hard part. You know what? New parishioners, new people of our religion, please. What would you call it? We offload the effort to you. We also need a Tresche. We also need a poll.

We need a poll. A poll? Yeah. So like usually, at least in the Abrahamic religions, they have a god. And their God is an awesome God. He is. Are we trying to suck the teat of the Abrahamic religions? Yes.

Are we going with God? Oh, we call the deity God that governs us. Are we, we could slot into Abrahamic religions. We could just use the same God. If we want to be lazy. No, I don't. I don't think that's very fun. I think it's, well, the other alternative is you do the Scientology route,

but then it's like, you have... No, let's just do like Buzz Lightyear. What if like, what if like we're convinced Liam is Christ reborn? Then we're still God. Yeah, but it's like there is a human reincarnate and he walks Earth with us. And he streams. Oh, no, I kind of like this. Like going the route of where Abrahamic, we're just adding a new prophet.

And Liam is the prophet. Okay, so it's God. But how about this? How about instead of like, because the thing with Liam is, This is a tough one. We need God because we're not going to sell this thing without God. It's never worth. We have God.

We have a deeply involved discussion with a Muslim. And I'm talking about how Muhammad had so many great things to say. But Liam is the one true. Liam is the true. You don't want the prophet. You don't want the prophet to be Liam. Is that what we want? I think if the prophet is known and it is bad.

It was foretold. I think you should say it was foretold. The prophet came back and he loves the movie heat. And that's why. we spread the movie Heat everywhere because we need the Prophet to reveal themselves.

So Thursday is our Sunday. It's a great fucking movie. Thursday is... Thursday is our Sunday. Thursday is our Sunday. Yes. Thursday is our Sunday. And it's almost a group effort

to find this prophet. Got a great ass! Oh man. What emotive eyes. I love religion now. Yeah, right? I've never seen heat. Really?

Bro. Thursday night. I'm gonna watch it this Thursday night. I still haven't seen it. I don't we're goofing and gaffin. But do you imagine how much fun they had writing Christianity? Oh, bro. Like, it's Eldon Ring.

Christianity? Christianity is for people's accounts of the life of Jesus. Yeah. Except for Genesis. That's not Christianity. I don't care or know the difference. I don't know or care. I don't think of that Kane and Abel are in binding of Isaac.

That's true. And they also were two brothers, one who killed the other. I think Joseph Smith's the best example of this, right? Because he just got to rip it. Yeah, Joseph Smith, I think is a good example. Because he ripped it not based off anything but his own visions. Joseph Smith, I feel like he was just like a Chris Angel type that we bought more heavily. He didn't do magic. He just wrote. I think we believed he was magic. I can go in the forest and see these scrolls and only I can read them. That's magic. yeah yeah yeah but it's like magic underwear but not like magic like you know you when you do miracles i've played the jesus game he he turns he does the miracles maybe our guy's shin limb

dude that honestly how about we just have a contract with shinlim yeah and he does magic for our religion he does magic for anyone who asks like forever if you ask shin him he has to book you but only it's like i'm coming in 30 years but i i you're in the book i feel you should be a hedonist a hedonist A hedonist. That's good for the heat vibe we're going for. The name of a religion memory. I'm a hedonist. Yeah, that's already a word.

Heatonist, not hedonist. I see. He didn't like centralizing it too much around heat. It's just a part of it. It's a fun part of it. It's the word. You have to centralize a religion. No, he is the word.

But there's so much more to it. Yeah, I guess they did come with Mormon. Where did Mormon come from? Wait, what's our stance on hot drinks? Did we agree on mine? I didn't like your rule I said no hot drinks on cold days No cold drinks on hot days

Why would we have that rule? Because when it's a hot day you indulge It's hotter, we get hotter stuff Hot drink I like being stanceless I want to be hotter When it's cold I drink

I drink I'm gonna start using I drink a cold drink I'd like to vote no I know I like Nick's rule And I say Thank you It's a good rule

Instead of it being ambiguous Like it is an LDS I feel like You wanted to be concrete I feel like it just It's purely tent. And also, can I say, it's not ambiguous in LDS. It's very straightforward.

It's extremely vague. Ask a single question we answered all of them. I put hot soup in a thermos and I can drink that. Yeah, that's fine. Kill yourself. Enjoy the soup. Enjoy the soup. Have a good meal.

The guy looking for in the yard search engine, like hot thermos, kill yourself. Wow. Wow. They have done a lot of episodes. You know, it's an interesting demographic breakdown often. when we talk about religion, you know how when we talk about sports, Reddit tends to pipe up and they get mad,

and it's like, okay, fine. But the people who get mad about us not knowing about religion happens mostly in the Patreon comments. That makes sense, because they're rich, because they're God fearing.

God is blessed them. Those willing to donate to the church, which is kind of us to them. Think about that shit. Ooh, all of a Patreon is tax exempt. By the way, we're at our time,

but if you guys didn't know, by the time they listened to this episode, it will be five years of the yard. It will also be Thursday. We have five? It will be, or Wednesday. Wednesday is the real. July 8th was our first episode.

Uh, no. Wow. No, it's July 8th. I put a marker in my calendar. Yep. So, right now what you were doing five years ago, because it's been five years of us doing this shit. Oh, my BMI was lower.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. I look crazy or skinnier. Oh, you look so skinty. I was on Adderall. And now you look like jackpot. I still look like Jack Black. We watched it.

of Jack Black's body and we were just in awe and it looked like that. Not even ugly or anything. It was just like a gore on. He does. He fills out the Amongus costume. But yeah, it's been five years of the yard, a suck it from the back and you know the drill. Pay for it if you want more. You're going to pay for it. We're going to pay for it. We're going to pay for it. Drop. It's taxing step now. Drop your favorite moment below maybe if you didn't already answer the other thing we asked for. We're asking for a lot. We want you to engage today because it's your day as well. And I It's also the Lodwig's birthday. Shohei!

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