The Yard - Ep. 26 - How Ludwig Instantly Lost $50,000

Episode Date: December 29, 2021

Rest in peace, Nick. On this episode, Nick stays in his covid dungeon on Day 8 of his quarantine and he is replaced by an inflatable dinosaur. The remaining three handsome and strong Yard members discuss the new beef surfaced between Slime and Ludwig's mom, Ludwig's encounter with a rude Boston prick, and Aimen hallucinating the entire second leg of his trip.

you put the one that says dad on my mic actually it says pop oh we got a sound speed that's the same thing that's the same thing It's just a different word for it Yeah okay but what it means Cause the shit I bought is all like Wine mom shit that says bubbly bar One of them says like wine You're just deflecting But what I'm saying is it doesn't say dad

It's supposed to be read like this and pop like a bubble of champagne Pop Not like pop like old man Not like what he did like papa pop pop jeez pop fuck you i think the forum's going under welcome back to the yard you might notice something missing really who what uh i see someone occupying that chair frankly i would say aiden normally wears shoes maybe that's yeah yeah shoes. Yeah. Shoes, no shoes on. Hey, old heads in the comments,

you might see a couple references changed up, but those are for the real thing. For the deep cuts. We have to one-take Jake this, by the way. We have to. I've never not. No, that's not true. Here's why.

Because we're doing this entire episode late, and so Archie has to cut the audio and just be able to ship it. Right. So we have to one-take Jake in. The audio itself. The audio, right. So we can't say anything bad. Right.

We can't do anything we would need to cut on the audio because literally I'll have to stay up and then wait for Archie to send them to me and then tell them what we have to cut. So I really need you guys. Dude, I'm sitting here. I really, really need you. And I'm mulling over the C word, which would demonetize the whole thing.

No, not on audio. He could bring the whole shit down. Oh, you're right. Yeah, we can say it right now. You want to do it? True con. Cunt. Well, that was just, what is up with that?

Are you okay? That was harsh. Is there some suppressed misogyny you want to talk about? Oh, no. The gamer stream fell down. Yeah, that's the dark side of that. Did my horns knock them down? That was harsh. Some suppressed misogyny you want to talk about? Oh no, the gamer stream fell down. Yeah, that's the dark side of that. Did my horns knock them down? Your horns did. I just went there and I got some stuff that I thought

would be cool. Aiden is the Christmas cow. Yeah, I have a cow hat that has horns on it. I almost said antlers. It's similar. You're wearing cow hat. I am wearing Bo Burnham merch and I'm not wearing anything on my head. Oh, you bought it. I did buy it, yeah. It's cute. It's similar. The antlers of... You're wearing cow head. I am wearing Bo Burnham merch, and I'm not wearing anything on my head. Oh, you bought it.

I did buy it, yeah. It's cute. It's nice. It's an independent blank. Is it like, don't panic like the house is on fire, but you should panic? I think, yeah. Oh. I'm wearing a Tim and Eric shirt.

No hat, though. It's a mustard brand. Because I didn't get to do my hair all the time in New Hampshire, and I miss having nice hair. You miss... you never not be honest with me. No, I did. It was like greasy because I put a hat on in a beanie all day. I was going to say, is it because, is that why you had the hat

on in all your YouTube videos? Yeah. To hide your shame. It was just not to hide my shame, but my ugly hair. Is that why Schlatt wears a hat? No. He just doesn't care, right? I just don't think he cares, and it's probably better than... I think he probably doesn't want his unkempt hair. But you do it out of shame.

I just do it because I didn't do my hair. Yeah, because you look like shit, so you don't want to do it. You don't want to show people that you look bad. You look really bad. It's like when girls don't wear makeup, and then they put a bag on their head. I don't know what they do. I don't think they do that. Yeah, women do that a their head i don't know what they do i don't think they do that yeah women do that a lot yeah you know they do you remember being in like community

college and like like a quarter of the girls would just have bags on actually you know it's that was weird they all look like fausts from guilty gear they're just throwing shit at you yeah shit she just didn't have time today huh so i was home in new Hampshire. Spinning the shaft. I went to a childhood friend's house, and his grandfather, great-grandfather was there. Old guy. His name's Dick. Yeah. And they're telling me stories about this guy. Apparently, he's DJing.

He stays up until like 6 a.m. He doesn't start his day until like 2 p.m. How old is the old guy? He's like 90. Okay. I saw some napkins for a 90th birthday at the spot and i was gonna get those that would but then i'm like thick i'm not gonna get this because someone's gonna turn 90 and then need these yeah and that'd be fucked up there'd be none in yeah when you when you make it 90 years

the worst thing that could be happening to you is not finding anything at party city for your birthday you don't city you don't care you don't care it's your dude this hat dude the shit they make is so cheap this is literally cardboard and it looks like on the outside it kind of looks nice though you know what's funny is until you spun around i actually thought it was nice that looks i actually thought it was deceptively sell it the quality that's a then. Anyway, so you got this 90 year old dude. Yeah. Huge balls.

Huge penis. Huge penis. He's flying every way. And he's talking in, he does this thing and Peter is explaining this, my stepfather. And Peter's like laughing through this.

He's like, yeah, he's a, you know, he's an older guy. And so like, like we'll strike up a conversation like,

like Jenny, who's like a, like another family friend of ours who's younger. She's like 45, 50, whatever. I was gonna say, that's the oldest name you can have. Yeah. I like another family friend of ours who's younger she's like 45 50 whatever I was gonna say that's the oldest

name you can have yeah I mean compared to him there's no one named Ginny that's like 7 compared to him

she's younger she's one of the younger people in the family it's Ginny and Ruth I think Barbara Barbara

that old bitch Dick Chump checks her basically and is like they're like talking and I forget how it's spun, but he eventually just says, hey, you're a triple bagger. Wow.

Which Peter then explained, because someone didn't know, to the entire group. Dude, Peter's so funny. Oh, you don't know what a triple bagger is? Okay, well, a bagger is a girl who's so ugly you need one bag to fuck her. And then a triple bagger is a girl who's so ugly you need one bag to fuck her and then a triple bagger is a girl who's so ugly you need three peter your stepdad is doing this he's doing this he's this is being explained to the room yeah to like a room of people oh peter is like he's like an eye roll farm yeah peter loves what i can tell from meeting him and he he's lovely, by the way. He loves being, he loves attention,

but not in like a disruptive or destructive way. He just loves being the guy that people listen to right now. He'd never moan a silence. He's like a podcaster. He had some platitudes. Some platitudes while we were there. Dude, oh my God.

Peter dropped the most softball, like, hey, you know what you got till it's gone, and that's Nietzsche. And he's telling it to us like we don't like never heard of some idiom that was that was the funny part i was just like oh yeah you're right i was sitting in the kitchen i was like i don't even necessarily disagree with you i think you're just saying it with such an air of introduction as if yeah as if it's the first time i've ever heard it yeah which was very funny he also knew a lot of unrelated he also knew a lot of dog breeds which was interesting why is that a little bit because he bought a dog yeah i think he's just really did a lot of research or something i don't know he doesn't fuck dogs if that's true no that's not what it felt like you're implying you i want you to you made the jump you made the the jump. He did it correctly because I'm implying it.

You're gaslighting. I'm implying it. Answer the question. No. You know what he does do? I was sitting. I was wrapping presents. Fuck cats. I'm silently wrapping presents with AirPods in, and he's in the room next to me watching

something on his computer, full volume, no headphones. It's like I can hear it, and it's the song from Step Brothers. She's got a smile that it seems to me. We child of mine. Yes. Not from Step Brothers. Sir, that version though. Specifically that exact scene. Not the studio version.

The Step Brothers version. It ends. And then he's like, it's a clip from Wedding Crashers with Will Ferrell. And it's like, what is, is he watching? And I find out he was watching a montage of funniest moments in modern comedy yeah he was watching funny moments watch Mojo's funniest scenes

he's losing it like it's Will Farrell going ma get the meatloaf and he's going dude and he drops that line like four times every time Will Farrell says meatloaf he laughs that's fire did he bring that with him to times. Every time Will Ferrell says meatloaf, he laughs. That's fire.

Did he bring that with him to the gathering after? Did he start saying the lines like, this will get him? That's huge. When somebody comes back and tries to re-deliver the lines. But without seeing the movie. They're just like, oh yeah. Just only the scenes. I saw the watch mojo. They're going to love this one.

Yeah. That's Peter, man. That reminds me of when I listen to music when I shower, and I usually just pop my entire library of music on Imagine Dragons. Our walls are thin. I can always hear you listen to it. Well, we used to roast you because you used to listen to the Interstellar soundtrack. Yeah, that I did.

Or Enya while working out. I don't think I have anything from Imagine Dragons downloaded. I do have a lot of Interstellar songs. You probably have the Riot intro now. No. For Arcane? Nope. Through the wall, it all sounds like Imagine Dragons-esque.

Fair enough. So this was in Italy, and in the shower, a sweet child of mine comes on. And I'm showering, and in my head, I'm like, okay, if they hear this, they're definitely going to make fun of me for it after. And I'm debating whether or not to get out of the shower to change the fucking song. And I'm like, nah, no way. Because I'm all the way down the hall. If Nick heard that, it's getting over.

And then as soon as I come back, I'm naked. I just have a towel on, right? And they all look at me. They're like, were you playing Sweet Child of Mine? That's so funny. And now I'm picturing,uring imagine that but I was playing the step brothers version dude well or just watching like top 10 funniest clips it's you're listening to it in the shower but if you're playing the step brother brothers version in the shower and then also like singing along like it's music and not like a little that'd be that's you don't like that you would do what I'm

gonna do is you don't listen to music. So you would have to listen to some weird version of it. So it's like, yeah, this is in old school when it's like the four lines of Total Clues to the Heart. Oh, this is the original. And then here's what Ludwig does. You tell him that that's not the original. And he just is like,

either it calls you stupid or cringe or a boomer for knowing that. Nerd. Next shower, I'm grabbing a Bluetooth speaker. I'm max-voluming WatchMojo's top 10 best movies of all time, and I'm pressing it against your wall in the shower.

And then I'll do that for every shower. Well, then I'll just like, we'll both just be enjoying Great List. Slime in the shower, just listening to Traverse Town. He's been fiending Kingdom Hearts. We haven't addressed anything yet, by the way. Nick looks

weird. Yeah, let's address it. That's crazy. Nick is got an upgrade in looks, got a downgrade in health. He has COVID. That's right. You might have seen if you follow him on Twitter, which 20 of you probably saw that. Congrats. Oh, it's all 20. When you have an M next to your name, it's all just 20.

Yeah. Piece of shit. You have double him. Yeah, I rule. You also have like none though. None what? Compared to the listeners of this podcast, like millions of people have listened to our podcast. Separate humans have listened to it. Maybe. 80K people watch you or follow you. Cap. 89. You can't just say cap. Cap. I think it's 90 plus 5K blocked. There you go.

And that counts. You count your block. Oh, here it is. Oh, 82. 82 plus 5K blocked. So if you count that, that's like me when I take off my pants to weigh myself and add. I'm 190. That's measuring from the base. Yeah. From the the balls I haven't shit in a while so 5k 5k blocked counts so yeah Nick has

COVID he got it because he went to smash world tour which is I probably would have got it too if I went to the tournament this is what I was thinking about we all bailed it well you weren't gonna go but me and you bailed yeah your foot saved you it was like a sign from god it saved me from getting covid well yeah like i mean i'm a young guy but also nick nick's he he's he's talking it's kind of interesting like i don't think i know a single person this close to me or even remotely this close that has gotten it yeah and uh so we're just like talking to him he's like how do you feel he's like yeah i feel good my sense of smell like went out like a couple days ago uh and then he's like he's been in his room

like a good boy just dungeon master that is genuinely my biggest fear he's an ideal room if you think about it like that his room his room is a fucking studio apartment he is well he is the master of the house yeah ludwig has the second master because he's a cuck no because i didn't want that one it was too big oh he's too big oh it's too big for you but my big old friend over there he's he's got what you need a new word instead of master i always forget what it is uh for rooms yeah because they're not top room the top room where you get top best the room for top uh anyway yeah he has covid and he had it during our podcast and it was kind of terrifying did he yeah because he got it from special tour so he had it in his system had to have had it right so on that podcast it

was there maybe the symptoms weren't there but he had yeah if you actually hit the the gear icon right now on the vod uh and you can go back and see COVID vision, and it's like the green guy from Casper the Ghost, and he just misses us the whole time, which is good. It was kind of crazy that none of us got it. Yeah, I was surprised. He must just not have been in a stage where he could pass it to somebody yet. You slept in the same bed as him.

Let me correct it. I'm so negative. He could pass it. He just has a weak baby immune system compared to our strong Chad ones. You're smooched in the same bed as him. Let me correct it. I'm so negative. He could pass it. I'm going to run and test. He just has a weak baby immune system compared to our strong Chad ones. Can I tell you guys a real concern of mine? Nick, before COVID, and everyone just didn't go out a lot, he got sick a lot all the time. And I started making fun of him for it.

But now I'm like, what if it means that he has a weak system? He does. What if Nick's days are numbered and I have to deal with that? And how does this affect me? Okay, to be clear, I don't think it's like a birthing. I think it's a diet thing. Do you think so? No way.

No way Nick is a beacon of health. I will say he is going to hit an age and it's all just going to balloon right out of his tummy. You can't. You can't. You can't. You can't run in and out forever. Look, he's on the up and up. Rock climbing is going to change him.

3x3 plane. I can change him. No, no. I can change him. No, because he's going to take you to Schminnenschmout and he's going to get his 3x3 plane and he's going to eat it and then he's going to be like,

I'm not going to drink water for seven days and then he's going to eat it. And then he's going to be like, I'm not going to drink water for seven days. And then he's going to die. Every time he gets the three by three plane, I'm just like, come on, man. Just one vegetable. It is funny how he diets is like an all or nothing on like a single thing. Like he'll, he cut soda. Like that was one thing. Like he'll never drink soda again.

He doesn't need any fast food except in and out. Like he'll just do things like that. And his recent things is like, I don't, I'm not gonna have any sugar. Yeah. He's, he's doing what I tried to do. Well well i did it for a little bit it's hard i i would say you kept it up for quite a while i've reduced my sugar intake a lot except god damn your god damned fucking girlfriend god damn her i am also a shit she leaves candy down there all the time yeah i came down every day you guys were gone and it was just me and nick in the house and he's like

effectively gone and i just ate those little chocolate snowmen and I felt like shit you can see him struggle with the goal of like this health stuff from what he's learned online and then like his monkey brain going like ooh yummy food yeah I'm literally a gibbon and I'm

just slapping the table and he stands over food sometimes like and it's like a coin flip whether he actually eats it or walks away. It's bad. But I think that's what it is for a lot of people, though. I think that actually is it.

I just give in whenever I want, but it's like I give in at certain points. You give in whenever you want? What the fuck does that mean? Two contrarian things. I satiate my desire for sweets the moment they come up. Usually.

So you have no willpower. That's what you're saying. That's what you're telling us. Yeah, but it's also like I don't have such an appetite because I allow myself to eat it on a regular basis that it's not like I fill my face with sweets is what I wanted to say. This is not impressive.

It's not meant to be. This is not impressive. It's not meant to be. This is not impressive. Thank you. What I'm saying is it's not. Oh, so you're just describing that you have no mental war over eating sweets. Yeah, sometimes when I'm hungry, I eat food. This is just you. You're just telling us how you feel about everything else.

I just eat everything. Which is, it'll be fine. That's crazy. It'll be fine. You're such a fucking son of a bitch. Oh, the chocolate? It'd it'll be fine. That's crazy. It'll be fine. You're such a fucking son of a bitch. Oh, the chocolate? It'd be pog right now. Hey, you can't have that chocolate.

Oh, that's not pog. And that's it. Oh, that's not pog. Insane. So speaking of your, I guess our trip, there's a couple things, a couple crazy things that happened both during and post the trip.

Number one, Ludwig got ham boned. Just shit face drunk. A couple things. A couple crazy things that happened both during and post the trip. Number one, Ludwig got ham boned. Just shit face drunk. So drunk he didn't remember what he did or said, which last time that happened is like probably a long time ago. And also back in the day when that would happen a lot, Ludwig would be very mean. This is like three years ago. Yeah, this is a long time ago.

Maybe more. Probably more in 2017. Yeah, I've never seen you black out. three years ago this is a long time well maybe more probably more in 2017 yeah i get i've never seen you black four years ago so ludwig we call him dark ludwig because he would just you'd like but you i don't know you'd say something about his mashing skills okay no let me it was not you would you're using the universal you as if like you know any fucking soul comes through this was specifically miles and the australians yes who have and ben tolson who yeah and ben tolson who have uh pervasive shit talk ability that's true so ludwig is not

like a monster in this situation because they did it a lot to fuck they would push me and i would get pushed and i would snap it was like a psycho dude it was crazy for people thinking at home like i'd never crack that would never get to me you don't know what it's like to psycho dude it was crazy for people thinking at home like i'd never crack that would never get to me you don't know what it's like to be on the other end of this for the first time the aussies are you so hard oh dude the commentary is just insane they'll like commentate everything you do just roasting the shit out of you and you try to spit it back at them and they're like oh for sure like oh like you mad like is that? Like, is that a problem? Yeah, dude, it's fucking tough. But then it would get under my skin.

I'd get irate. I'd get drunk. I'd say some shit I shouldn't say. Yeah, just like. Some mean shit. Basically, it's like if you're mad at someone and then you just like dig up their deepest insecurity and then you wield it against them. Yeah, it's like my I was going like, oh, you're just absolute dog. Like, you'll never be anything.

And then I'll be like, you will never, ever achieve any success in life. Yeah like oh you're just absolute dog cunt like you'll never be anything and then i'll be like you will never ever achieve any success in life yeah and be like and you're fat yeah and then the next day miles would be like man you said some fuck things and i was just like oh come on and that's what it was like for a while and i and i felt bad and i didn't get as drunk there was a period where i was like okay i'm I'm not drinking. And I, I didn't get that drunk for like literally the four years. Yeah. And there was, there was like, so cutie sends a video,

which you'll see in the beginning of this, uh, to our group. It's our intro. Can you, can you give the context of like what was happening that day? Like why, why'd you get so enticed?

We go to the Pat's bills game. Uh, we actually drive cause we were going to go to Foxborough, which is not near Boston. Yeah. The new England Patriots play like an hour outside and we're going to go to Foxborough, which is not near Boston. Yeah. The New England Patriots play like an hour outside. Fucking Tom Brady. That was so bad.

Me and Werner. Me and Werner. Werner. Werner. That was good. I kept thinking about Werner, dude. So. What?

Did you watch Quincy Boys? Did you watch that? Did you watch his video? You watched my video? I watched Quincy Boys. I clicked on it. Wow. I clicked on it to watch it, and I didn't watch it.

Why? I just think I forgot. I had a list of things I was going to watch, and then since I clicked it, it doesn't pop up again. I think you'd like it. I think I probably would. We're just a fucking couple of boys from Quincy. You know who's watching it right now?

Probably Tommy Innit on repeat. Trying to hit the fucking lobster back. Yeah, that's crazy. Tommy Innit knows who I am, and that's fucked up. Why do you think that's crazy? Also, Dream. I was like, the reason Dream tweeted out he wasn't bald. And I'm like, damn, this is too scary.

Well, yeah, but I was like there, and I said it. It means he was watching, right? So Dream, who is someone who could probably, much like Metal Gear, create an entire island nation of child soldiers, knows who I am. And that's scary. That's scary. He could do that. He could soldiers knows who I am. And that's scary. That's scary. He could do that. He could do that.

I know. He could make a platform in the ocean and call it Militia Sans Douin. Why is it French? One day. Okay.

Next year, 10 years after Kony 2012, the Minecraft streamers are going to rally and move into the bush to form a former child soldier army the libs they're gonna go to zanzibar land and create outer heaven it's gonna be real yeah create a new society anyway tommy in it to be clear though was an avid fan of me at the onset of his career like i would say top two inspiration. Hold on, Dinosaur. Who asked?

You are literally saying that it's weird that he watched you. Can you let him talk? Thoughts? Yeah, more like AK Rowling. That's funny. This guy's funny. And so a lot of my biggest videos then were You Laugh, You Lose. Right. That was it.

Okay. So I've always been in the mix. I think you've been, like, he's known about you since before he was here. Me, you, and that monkey. But he still watches, which in the mix i think you've been like he's known about you since before he was me you and that monkey you know but he still watches which is the cool thing yeah that is cool uh anyway we this is a big aside yeah yeah i went to the pats bills game and go pats i got drunk while watching them as you do while watching with like your high school friends yeah like we're all there give me a fucking lager. We have some good seats. Actually got into a little altercation with the Boston fan.

Yeah? No way. Some fucking pussy? Yeah, well, I'll let you play the role. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I'll give you the context. I bought 15 seats because this was like a gift for me for Christmas to a lot of friends and family from New Hampshire. So I got everything.

It was like 20K total for all the tickets. But I kind got them late so it was like six seats here six seats here three seats here all somewhat separate and uh and i picked like like who sat where this is all to say that i ended up sitting next to my mother but it was kind of far down and she has a walking disability like she can walk but if she walks for a while like it just freezes up she can't do it and i was like oh dude we basically have these handicap accessible seats. We should switch you. And so I was like standing next to her. I was like, Hey, let's, let's switch you up here. I found better seats. And while I'm doing that, there's this guy, Boston guy who's upset. Cause I'm blocking his view. Hey, go, Hey, sit the fuck down. Sorry, dude. My mom's

like literally handicapped. I don't care about your fucking gay mother. Sit the fuck down hey uh sorry dude my mom's like literally handicapped i'm just i don't care about your fucking gay mother sit the fuck down you'll be fine you'll be fine you're missing don't tell me i'll be fine okay well i won't be fine tell me i'll be fine again now enter cutie you're being a dick to you no no to him oh excuse me bitch actually no way i'm gonna pause no way almost one to one of the exact interaction really yes i am a quincy boy he's next to his kids his kids are like his kids are there they're so embarrassed jesus christ what do you look like he just looked like i don't know did he look like anthony pre-diabetic in irish how do you look irish that's so easy. Is that just a way to say he's white? No, it's a way to say he's native Boston. No one... That's not helping.

Hey, vote on your phones now if a little bit makes sense. He's got like white hair. Old guy? Old guy. He's like probably 45, 55. Okay. I'm just saying, what kind of person does he look like? A celebrity? Can you help me out here? He looks like if George Clooney fell on a vat of acid. person does he look like a celebrity is there can you help me out here he looks like uh if george

clooney fell in a vat of acid and became the fucking joker yeah uh and that was the interaction which was crazy and the seats end up working out we have great seats phenomenal i drink a shit ton we decide to go to boston and i convince my friends to come with me even though they live in new hampshire uh and so cutie drives she was sober the whole day, drives us there. We get to Boston and we decided to go to this Japanese restaurant because, you know, I need pundes. That is funny how you're like, hey guys, is there a spot around here? I'm trying to, you know.

It was Cutie, she was feeding ramen. A little taste of Japan. Wait, how do you say I'm hungry in Japanese? That's not me. How do you say delicious? Hungry desk. Uishi. Remember?

Uishi. Uishi. You're trying to look for some Uishi treats. I believe it's Tomodachi. Tomodachi-san. Everyone gets these like coconut bowls of like alcohol that are like huge. And I just start sipping from everyone's. Why?

I'm just going around the table because I'm already a bit drunk. Yeah. And so alcohol stops tasting like alcohol and liquid just wants to enter me. And then I start getting belligerent. The sun devil came out. Uh-huh. The true ASU partier. And I promise I'm not exaggerating when I say I cannot remember any of the specificities

of what happened in between then and getting to the hotel. But I arrived there. I stripped down to my boxers because it was more comfy than what i was wearing my friends somehow disappeared they ubered home it was just me and cutie you didn't go back to new hampshire no no because we were flying out that morning that's why we went to boston it was convenient to fly out in the morning from boston because there's no new hampshire airports so you said goodbye to your mom fucking hammered. I said goodbye to her at the Pats game.

So I was still like, cause I'm like, okay. So yeah, you remember that. Yeah. And then Aiden calls me. I'm my fucking luck.

Why are you Boston now? I don't know. Maybe that's what happens. Maybe when we drink alcohol, we just become from Boston. I think you just like doing accents. You are me, but at Pat's house three.

Yeah. Aiden calls me, which I think is what sparked me not only calling him but talking to you okay well also it was cutie sent that message in the group chat which is a video which you guys saw and she said I was streaming at the time and she's like watch this on stream and I'm like oh okay and that was really funny and then you called me I assume like right probably because cutie was like she was like she was just hanging off the bed ass out

dude hey babe and you're just like like a dog it's actually very cute the whole night I threw up for some reason

Cutie was like you throw up I was like no I lied no reason to lie I told her the next day I get to the bed and I'm sleeping on my back

she's like sleep on your side I'm like no like I keep pushing her over all the dice baby yeah i was i was a bit of a menace she was complaining on stream that on the car ride to boston i was burping in her face and then she was like stop so i stopped and i started farting in the car you do sound like a dude from and she's like stop and i was like well farting's

funnier than burping that's funny she had to like punish me like a cat with a spray bottle. So you called Eamon called you. First. Because I needed answers. Because at this point, Ludwig and Cutie's new merch, which has been teased in various places, is supposed to go out on December 28th. The day after. But I do not have confirmation

from Ludwig about moving it back yet. Or if he had gotten photos. Because I was under the impression that they weren't going to do photos in New Hampshire anymore, right? And then that day, I found out they did it anyway. I was surprised. Or they got half of them done.

I was surprised that he got that done. And I need answers. That's why I'm calling Lundwig. I'm hanging out with my family, but this is like the last night to get info. You need answers. From this hell of a man right here and he uh he calls me back and he's i immediately it's so obvious he's drunk because every word word is being uh slurred yeah like

it's so it's borderline incoherent and uh and i'm like hey what's up, bud? Like, it's good. Hey, so what do you think? I heard you got the photos. Like, what do you think about moving it back? He's like, no, we'll just get it done. We'll just get it done, you know? And I'm like, what the fuck are you talking about? It's like, give me the date. We need to, are we doing it on the 28th or not?

He's like, yeah, we'll, no, we'll move it back. And I'm like, okay, so does that mean the 29th, like I asked you, or does that mean next week? And we just keep going back and forth. Right. And at the end of the call, at the end of the call, he's just kind of muttering to kiddies. Like I hate him.

Dude, that's so funny. That's probably where the video came from. Cause you probably filmed me after. Right. It was just like annoying me with questions while I'm drunk. Oh, you hate questions that need to be answered. I, while I'm drunk. You hate questions that need to be answered. While I'm drunk especially. I'm being patient, by the way, because after I got lit up for being mean on the phone last week,

I thought about it. For some reason, getting phone calls often immediately stresses me out because I feel like I'm on the back foot for some reason. I have to think about why that's the case, but I'm like, I will be nicer to Ludwig on the phone. Thank you. Thank you for being nice to us, Drunk Ludwig. I was nice to Drunk Ludwig the whole time. He appreciates it.

It's funny. You were nice. Your effort went totally unreceived. Yeah. He didn't remember. He just forgot about it. I still had it. In the background this whole time, by the way, Cutie's just profusely apologizing.

She's like, I can't control it. I'm so sorry. Because because he just like keeps saying shit i you you said something about oh oh this is this is what you called anthony with later i remember uh but this is i this is where i exit from this right i hang up and i had just left uh like games that were starting with my family because they wanted to play they wanted to play poker that night and my mom from upstairs like yelled like where's Aiden because I think she had an idea that I might have like slipped out so I don't have to like play or she was like not on my goddamned watch yeah and she she wants me to get involved and I'm like no no

I just had a phone call I was like my boss my boss called me. Do your parents get shit-faced in general? Do they? No. And then my mom asked me, like, what is he calling you about on, like, the evening of Boxing Day or something? I'm like... Why would he call you on the Queen of Canada's fourth birthday? Does he not know, Eamon? Does he not know about her birthday?

And then I was just like, I don't know. He's wasted. He's absolutely wasted. You also called me for a business call at 1 a.m. Don't you not know, Eamon? Don't you not know about a birthday? And then I was just like, I don't know. He's wasted. He's absolutely wasted. You also called me for a business call at 1 a.m. I did not. I did not. I called you way earlier. Oh, I called back at 1 a.m.

I called you way earlier, and then you called me back at 1 a.m. You might have called me at 10 p.m., I think. I did call you at 10 p.m. Why did you call him back? Why did Drunk Lud would call him back? Because I think I didn't get my phone until then because my phone wasn't with me at dinner. This is capped off because before I had called him, I had sent him a text because I was like, I do need answers tonight.

I'm sure if he can't pick up the phone, he'll just text me back later when he's available. So I sent him a couple lists of questions. Ludwig, instead of answering my question, just replies with a bunch of family photos from the day. This is so fucking funny. It's like 10 photos of them at the football game. We'll put it in the VOD because it looks so funny if you screenshot it.

I'll send it to Zipper right now, yeah. Dude, it is so, because it's literally Eamon being like, I need this. And I've been in Eamon's spot a lot. Hey, I need this really, really bad because other people are depending on your answer right now.

And Ludwig just responds with like seven pictures of him and his family and his friends. No text. No context at all. other people are depending on your answer right now and ludwig just responds with like seven pictures of him and his family and his friends no text no only photos and he just says cute i just said cute i bet okay another reason why i got shit faced by the way is this was also the finale of my fantasy football team leagues i had two leagues i was did you have any players in the game i had i was in the finals for one against Clint Stevens. I had a player in a lot of the games on Sunday and I was up the whole time. I ended up losing. This is for

a $5,000 game. $5,000 buy-in or $5,000 pot? It was a $1,000 buy-in. The pot was like $7,500 first, $2,500 second. Nice. And third gets nothing. Fuck yeah. I was winning. I lost. I got rolled in like the 11th hour. Okay. Bummed. I also lost my other league where I was winning. I lost. I got rolled in like the 11th hour.

Okay. Bummed. Okay. I also lost my other league where I was first overall in like semis. You also lost your wallet. Bummed. Also lost my wallet. Wait.

No, wait. On the trip? No. Oh, wait. Let me explain this. Okay. So next morning after the drunk, I have to drive the car to the rental place and drop it off.

Probably shouldn't have driven. I'll be honest. The effects of alcohol last a long time. But I was fine. I got there. And I go to put this car at this rental place. I park it in. And I knew I had my wallet here because I remember leaving it in there.

And I'm like looking through and I can't really find it. And all of a sudden this woman comes. She's speaking Spanish with three people behind her. And she's like explaining stuff I guess to them. They're like new then i'm like okay and they're like all around the car but i'm like whatever i think they're looking at the license plate i uh i have a bunch of shit in there because i it was a lived in car i use it for seven eight days i'm collecting my shit they start getting in the passenger seat and i'm like i'm like uh okay and i i like go motion over to like be like hey can i and they she just doesn I like go motion over to like be like, hey, can I?

And they she just doesn't look at me. And I like have to reach around and they're just doing their thing. Eventually, I couldn't find my wallet. I just give up. I walk away from the situation because I'm stressed out. You got bullied out of the car. They're not fucking looking at me there. I am not a human to them.

And I just collect my bags and I walk out. I'm like, I lost the wallet. Come to find out because I have a tile because slime put it in it's in the fucking car that's right i would have found he's like he's like hey hey how do i find my wallet i texted you i was like how do i find my wallet so are you able to get it back yeah i'll call them and i'll get it delivered but it's fucking crazy that they just like shushed me out basically through ignoring me not famous enough cold shouldered me it is so nice that to have bring up the app and being i i came down like i was

fucking like sherlock what's like a a defense guy colin powell and i'm like mr president your wallet is in the boston airport rentalental Center. Sit down in the briefing room. Do you want us to scramble the units? Yeah. You're not going to like this. And that's actually full circle. I remember that, like, you losing your shit, and then I put the tile in there, and it finally worked. So, yeah.

Too bad you got bullied by people, by adults, as an adult. I did get bullied by adults out of the car. There's only one way to bully Ludwig. It's just pretend he doesn't exist, but not to insult him at a football game. Update, not a fan of BMW.

That's what I drove, BMW i3. Didn't love it. We made fun of you for that, and that was fun. Yeah, I mean, I like,

I think the point of a rental is you rent the car you don't have that people like. I rented one with all-wheel drive because I was like,

if we hit snow, I'm going to save the day. When in doubt, throttle out. Yeah. You did save the day. When in doubt, throttle out. Yeah. You did save the day by driving home. He's so much more practical. He is an incredibly practical man to a fault. Also, sometimes not practical.

But he was creaming his jeans the other day. I was looking. We got a bunch of packages. Some were dressed in slime. And I didn't know what they were. They were just played plastic. And then slime walks over. He's like, oh, dude, you see, I got shelving units dude i was so hyped i actually so they're

called nested bins all right and you put the bins in the in the thing and they're going pretty deep and you like label them and you can like we can arrange all our gear ludwig and and it came with a catalog of bin shit so like i can get more bins that's so sick like it is wow not a shortage that's good this is like when i showed you the fucking quick book he gets so pumped about shelves and bins and yeah and all that i do get pumped about that hey i was into the quick books let me get high and tell me about bins yeah you need to eat a gummy before you can appreciate fine organization that i'm into it i wasn't psyched before you ordered those shelves in our office

for all the, we put all the merch samples we get on these shelves now. They're fucking great. I love them. So I should get behind this, but I do think

it's funny that, I don't know, you pick like such like random like small things to be like very excited about. It's because of their utility,

I feel like. Well, it's more like I have to live a life where I am constantly, I check in on ludwig and i'm like is that thing gonna be a pain in my ass and he's like yep and then i'm like okay so when i finally am granted some sort of control or agency over this chaos i disproportionately i'm like this is the best day pumped about it right solves everything i am i am basically an abused worker in an abusive workplace. Hey, welcome.

Put her there. Maybe don't shake his hand. Oh, by the way, we'll bring this up. That's an exhibit in that case. Dude, I was actually mad at you. I want you to know this. Why?

Ludwig. Oh, are you talking about the tickets? Ludwig bought tickets. Let me explain this, okay? Because I think... Oh, right. This is crazy.

How did you fuck this up, dude? This is the craziest thing I've ever done, and I will have to reevaluate some processes I take. Like Kalen says, wake up to your life. Let me give some context. I got these tickets for the Pats game, but I also got some more tickets specifically for Cutie's family.

Her father's a big Cowboys fan for some for some reason i don't know maybe he's from there and so i was like okay i'll surprise them with cowboy tickets and i'll take the initiative and i'll find these tickets so i email and i'm like hey uh i want sweet tickets they get back to me pretty promptly and i'm like this is the game i want and i do this thing i have a bad habit when you don't don't don't no i want i want to hear shame in your voice i have a bad habit of replying to emails really early so i i wanted to go to the january second game it's the cardinals versus the cowboys i accidentally replied and signed a docu sign to go to it was the wrong date a wrong game i didn't even know this yes this is this is in in fact less crazy than what he what else he missed in this docu sign so you sign your fucking name

on i i signed my name to the wrong tickets and these tickets when i read the email was fifty four hundred dollars and i remember telling you about this because i also bought new tickets for the real game that costs like another you know whatever seven eight thousand i was spending like you know tens of thousand dollars on these tickets and then i'm talking to slime about how i want to do this charity giveaway and i'm like how much money do i have in the account oh yeah amazon yeah yeah and he's like okay yeah let me look and i open up a credit card statement because we have a card with like a really high limit and i'm looking through the statement and i'm like our limit we've spent like 70 grand and i was like what what and i start clicking through i'm like this can't be right like what because it's his card right it's like it's the ludwig card and

he does whatever and then i pick up the pieces later so i don't look at the statement until the final like to the end of the month so i look at the credit card statement and it is there's a purchase for $54,000. $54,000. Dude, what? Dude, he read a DocuSign with a date to buy tickets from this company that sells premium tickets for both the wrong date and for what he thought. He didn't see all the zeros at the end. He skimmed it and didn't see that it was 10 times the amount and so he bought tickets that he could not go to 54 grand you thought that it

was 5400 uh-huh the tickets i told you about were 54 grand but he didn't know that until i even when you were even when you were sad about this when you you talked to me about it, it was only when it was $5,400. I talked to him after I found out that it was the wrong tickets for the wrong game, and I was like, I'm out $5,400. And I was out $5,400. Dude, how do you do that? I don't know. You literally, you misclicked. You misclicked $50,000.

Like, I was, okay, I was was mad i was mad for a like this this is an entire like human being salary that because we're hiring people like that could conceivably be that's almost my salary number two i told you not to buy this shit on the company card. I told you to do that, not to do that. And you just did it anyway. So it's like, what's going on? Why? I'm getting mad again. I'll come back down.

But it's like, why? It's like, why don't you just fucking... He did say... I was also there for when he told you that. I do remember that. But you did it. But you just did it anyway. And it's like, you could just not do it.

But you could just be nice to me. It's not nice to me because you just ignored me. I might have bought it before I asked you. No, that's not true. Because I've said this before about tickets. I've literally said this about tickets before. The new California law about entertainment expenses, I believe. And I'm just like, why?

Because Texas could be different. He cited it a few times. Texas laws might change. It made me a California company, though. You knew I was mad because I didn't freak out. I was like, okay, well, this is a big enough problem to where the first thing we got to do is fucking solve it. So we start working. I try to find them.

I can't find them. There's like SeatGeek shit. It actually blew because this is Christmas Eve when I find out that this is the problem and the game's like two days yeah the game's in two days and i and i go to the site and i managed to pull them up but it won't let me sell them yeah and i sent an email to customer support and i'm like that they're not getting back to me it's christmas it's literally christmas yeah right numbers are off window it's only email i mean i missed the window wait so what how so it turns into a beautiful christmas miracle did cutie's family still go what happened gave them away what happened is i gave away a a

bunch of money christmas day and i wanted to do this because i saw uh pokey do this and a couple other people do this where they just kind of give um like amazon wish lists they just buy what's on it for some people uh who like follow them you also did that. Yeah, no, I know that. And I wanted to do that. And so I decided to do that. And we were talking about that with Slimer earlier. You know he's in the doghouse

because he made a spreadsheet. I was like... He never makes a spreadsheet, but he did it for me. I want to give away like 10 to 15K. That was my goal. I thought it'd be, you know, nice Christmas cheer, yada yada.

Well, I end up giving away every single ticket to the suite it was insane i put a tweet out that was like hey if you have an 11 dollars i have some tickets and a bunch of people like you know dozens and dozens of people came forward and so it ended up being a suite of just lud buds at the game and i got a few pictures and it was very cute. That's kind of tight. It was actually really heartwarming even though it was by pure circumstance that it was in time and time again. No, no, no. Not circumstance. Call it what it is, Ludwig.

By pure failure on my part. Incompetence. Incompetence. Incompetence is a harsh word. It's accurate. It's fun to look back on now. Maybe even not that fun. But I swear to god i was gonna sit him down and have a talk and be like you can't do shit like this i can't handle it ethically i cannot handle christmas cheer we hired nick yingling and i was like damn that's one nick

yingling down the fucking well we spread christmas cheer he's just on the bed in the hotel room on his phone looking at that thread he He's like, God bless us. God bless us, everyone. God bless us all. It was cool. Everyone reached out and they're like, hey, my dad is the biggest fan. It was just because everyone's with their family, too. So did Cutie's family take...

We are going to a different game. We are still going. It's a different game. Totally separate. That's still... You are still going to the game together on january 2nd yes okay separately on the fucking no i was there it's not i was there it's just tell the truth and i won't be mad i'm your dad now can i just tell the truth those tickets are so much i don't know

you really don't i really don't know why would it be a different payment method because i might have used my apple card i don't think it passed my threshold for that we'll see and that's the only other card because this is when he told me this is before we left we're sitting on the stairs and he's sad he's like man man i spent 5400 on the wrong on the wrong game that sucks and now the tickets for january 2nd are like 3x that. And I was like, that's crazy that you are spending that much money to go to the correct football game. And now it is significantly worse.

Yeah. I think it was on the Apple card because it does have a StubHub payment. So I think it was. That's yours. This is the this is the anxiety that anthony lives through about every other week anyway you should see the photos maybe you'd make it up i know i did i did see people respond and it was really good also by the way that fucking amazon wishlist thing our account got locked again oh and hopefully by this

time it's unlocked but holy shit god. God damn it, I hate this. Stop giving people shit. Give them something. Buy it for them already. I don't know. Whatever. Here's the thing. It is a bit of a pain.

I wanted to... So that all happened, but also what happened during being at your house is one thing. One with your mom and one with Peter. All right? I talked about this at dinner when we went and got food. You have described Peter. I just the first time I ever met him. And since I've known you.

Yeah. You've always said. Peter's my stepfather. He's Jamaican. Peter's my stepdad. He's black. And it's like, oh. And then you would always elaborate a little further.

He's Jamaican. And I'm like, oh, and then you would always elaborate a little further. He's Jamaican. And I'm like, OK. And so ever since he said this, and I've heard Ludwig say this like a lot. Right. And I've always thought that that added part at the end meant that Peter was like, like a dude with a Jamaican accent, like from Jamaica. Yeah. And I meet him, and he's like, you know, an American guy, right?

He's just the most Northeastern, like, family man you've ever met. He's the most dad dad ever, for sure. Yeah, he's born and raised in the States. He's the poster dad. It's crazy. And I was just like, and I meet him, he's like, hey, how's it going? Hey, you're slime, huh? You know, and he's being all eccentric. And I was just like, and I mean, he's like, hey, how's it going? Hey, you're slime, huh? You know, and he's being all eccentric.

And I'm like, this guy is not Jamaican like the way I thought he was. Yeah. You're looking through the garage for a bobsled. And I was like, damn, that's crazy. And everyone at dinner just called me really stupid. But I was like, you know what? I don't think I'm stupid. I think.

I want to ask Ben because Ben met him like whatever two years ago. I want to know if Ben thought the same thing. I just always I think one. It's like a fun fact that he's black. Yeah. No. Yeah. Because it's just not something that one even exists in New Hampshire.

Right. I think New Hampshire's. Dude, it's literally. Dem that, one, even exists in New Hampshire. Right. I think New Hampshire's demographics is 93% white, I think. But I think New Hampshire's like, or the town I'm from is like 98. Yeah. It's like something crazy. But two, I also correct that he's Jamaican because both his parents are from Jamaica. They have Jamaican accents. Yeah.

I mean, his mother, at least his father is not there. Uh, he's a stepfather, but, uh, he's not African-American. Right. Yeah. He's Jamaican American. That's like, I, and I, it makes sense, right? It makes sense to make that clarification. And I am just coming from someone who only knows Jamaica in the context of my dad leaving to go to, when I was in mom's womb to to tell her he was going to go to the store and then he went to jamaica for two weeks and he also just listened to reggae all the time so that's like that's that's what i grew up understanding what that word is and i'm like zam and so it's just really funny it's kind of it reminds me of a lot remember uh professor pro someone was telling i think it was on twitter yeah i was like how dare you talk uh to this like african-american man

and then professor pro react replied he's like and he's a guy from london who's black he's like i am neither african nor american i always thought it was really funny so yeah a little bit of a of a of a special little treat for Slime to just be surprised. I was like, holy shit. Is that the special little treat? I think the special little treat is that my mom hates you. Do you not know this?

Wait, for real? So, on the podcast, Slime, with all this attitude, says that your mom kind of has an attitude. To set this up a bit. Yeah. Because the viewers will only have the perspective of the YouTube video at best, right? Right. Which is basically set looking at the background of your yard.

Yeah, yeah. That back house and stuff, right? What is happening while Anthony is starting to explain that Ludwig's mom has an attitude. Off screen, like behind where Anthony and Nick are sitting is the driveway. And Ludwig's mom is just standing there. Yeah. Listening to Anthony get through this entire sentence. So when you call her out,

she's like waiting in on the sidelines to come in. Yeah. Like, I didn't see her and he's like, oh yeah, well come on down mom. She was waiting. Cause she had to go to an appointment and we wanted her on. So he's like, oh, yeah? Well, come on down, mom. She was waiting. Because she had to go to an appointment, and we wanted her on.

So, he's like, okay, we got to get her on. So, then she comes back. You walk it back like a bitch. You did walk it back. Of course I'm going to walk it back. I'm not going to say it. Because it's your mom. It's your mom.

And so, then what happens is you guys leave. The podcast comes out, and we watch the podcast. No. Yeah. We watch the entire segment with my mother on the TV with the entire family sitting around. No way, dude.

All of us there. Yeah. Did you think that your words would not be heard when you said it in public? This is so funny. To be posted on the internet?

Hey, this is my L. And so then she hears Slime basically like, be like, yeah, she like, kind of has like an attitude, saying all this shit. It was just like the worst thing I said. Don't say all this shit.

Yeah, he said attitude. Here's the clip. She's just sitting there while we're watching live because she was laughing at the early parts. She was just sad. Really? Yeah, she was just sad. You're fucking with me. No, she was sad.

Tell me the dead ass truth right now. She is sad and she was just disappointed she didn't know what she did wrong she's just reserved i think she's just a sweet woman she was like what did i do wrong i don't know what i said that bothered okay so so this clip it was actually on lsf which was funny but ludwig called me and i was doing i did this like long ass stream and he called me drunk. Doesn't remember the conversation, but he called me to chew me out about this. And it's like, um,

Oh wait, I think zipper has it. Can you play it? Zipper? This. Yeah. Do you think that's true? I think it's true.

Yeah. How the fuck are you going to resolve it? You don't talk to me. I'm on my schedule. What could I do to make it up to her? Thunder flowers. I mean, sucker fucker. I don't know what you want. That's not a mean thing. It's a youth. What could I do to make it up to her?

That's okay. I think this is a good conversation to have. Listen. So you're saying that I need to suck and fuck your mom to make this right? I'm saying you use the platform to fuck her, so you might as well use the platform to suck her. I think that for once, Ludwig, you're right. No! Amen, brother. And I'll do what I need to do.

I would hope. I would fucking hope. Wow. Well, this has I would fucking hope. Wow. Well, this has been Illuminate. Why are you so drunk? Hey, God bless and Merry Christmas, you bitch. You? And you hung up. And you hung up.

You just got on him about, oh, oh, your words. They're in the public. You thought nobody would hear them. What happens when your mom sees that clip, bro? That's a good question. That's fine. It's a joke. Is it not a joke what i said no i don't think the attitude thing was a joke i think you thought she had an attitude i don't want you to suck my mother he at least explains himself okay let me all right

fuck you ludwig all right listen i do when i said that, it was me, I should have expressed, hey, your mom doesn't show a lot of love, and I am unsure of whether or not she is happy to have us here. And instead, I processed that, and I communicated that as something wrong with her. She has an attitude, and that was wrong to do. I will say I did have the same initial, initial impression. This went away after we started talking more we hate your mom dude she wasn't like psyched to have us there

it didn't seem like I think she was but she just doesn't display it right it's not so overt I think if I don't know if we all went to visit my mom and she like met you guys or not

well not for the first time. Oh your mom's so pog? No she'd just be like very I think it's, I literally think it's what you said on the podcast. Why it's bitches about Boxing Day all the time? Yeah about how my wasted boss is calling me on Boxing Day. It's Boxing Day you can't bring them over. In the north you can't

have Boxing Day and have a quarrel with your boss. You don't have nearly enough mousse to eat. Why? How dare you? But. Where's the syrup? I think your mom is just reserved. And then once we started talking to her that night, like me, Nick, and Cutie just talked with your mom for like maybe like 30, 45 minutes the first night we got there.

And we got along really well, I thought. Yeah. I also had a conversation after the podcast unfortunately just a long convo with your mom and she told me actually all about you and like about her growing up and she actually said some very sweet beautiful things about her son that she loves

and I was like yeah she's pog and so I was like it was just it made me when you called and told me that and I knew I was like you're telling the truth and the reason why I said I'm glad you told me this is because now I know. And I, it, it's just my L to hold. And I will say, I, okay, I shouldn't have said that. And I feel bad.

That's all. I feel bad. But also I will say every time I looked at your mom with her big brown eyes. Stop bringing this up. You bring this up so much just like ludwig's and it made me want to cry every time okay it was just like that's this lady this fucking lady here loves him so much you use those emotions to make her cry yeah you know we're even you know what doesn't make me cry coin Coinbase. Hey, Coinbase.

Coinbase is back at it again. It is Coinbase.com forward slash to the R for $10 in Bitcoin. We. All right, take it away, dinosaur. You guys can also fill out some quizzes for free cryptocurrency. How much? Well, you can learn and you can gain. It's mostly about the learning, but might as well have a little prize along with it. You heard it from the dinosaur's mouth,

$10 in Bitcoin or 10 Bitcoin. All yours. Just RNG. Bit of a coin flip. No, but for real, it's $10 in Bitcoin. Coinbase.com slash the yard. Been a sponsor since day one. They're day ones.

They're day ones. They are day ones, and I think it actually runs out at the new year. This is our last of this run. This is our last Coinbean read. Unless we talk to Coinbean again. So you'll know. So this is actually the day to go to

Coinbean.com and if you are a yard lover and are interested in crypto because then we get a bunch of conversions and then they're like gotta get more money. That's true. Yeah. We need need to slide in home play you've been hesitant until now you can our gameplay just have aiden go in like andrew garfield i'm i don't want just half asshole i'm spider-man i'm coming back you're doing willem dafoe more than anything i'm spider-man give me more suck give me more by the way so Give me more. By the way,

I got lit up, right? I was fucking, I was chopping off heads left and right in the comment section last episode about particularly clapping in the theater.

You were wrong. No, I wasn't. According to the matches. Well, okay. Here's the thing. This is what I concede. I concede ground with all of you

fucking pajama-wearing Spider-Man lunchbox fucking worthless drones. Here is my concede ground. I like Spider-Man lunchbox fucking worthless drones. Here is my concede ground. I like Spider-Man. If you go to a movie that's like that, capital T, on the opening weekend and people are fucking acting all doing backflips and shit, you should expect that. And I was like, you know what? That's a good point.

Yeah. If you go like a week later and people are doing backflips you're allowed to be mad and i think this is i think we can all come across the aisle and shake hands and uh call me not a psychopath i i actually completely agree with this take because any any fandom movie like this if you've ever been to a premiere for like any superhero movie or for any like the harry potter movies when they were coming out if you went on opening night or like the opening weekend there's always super fans there and people are psyched to see just shit they want to see you know but jammy if somebody's pulling that shit a week later not having it not having it because if you really cared you would have been there last week what if it's their seventh viewing and they're psychopaths

as an empath i think you're right wait who me a proud empath no who do you think is right you are right in your concession you have now joined the correct world so we are m you're an empath i am the groups make that move with your mind right now favorite tweets one of my favorite tweets one of my favorite tweets ever is is uh i'm an empath says the worst person you've ever met i've actually seen a bunch of those in tiktoks and that's why i like calling myself an empath as the least qualified empath of the group empath talk you're just like like literally cutting a homeless guy open and you're just like i'm an empath you want to have a bit of an empath sesh okay i was uh uh so i went i went to canada for christmas yeah so the funny thing is that nick got covid right and he had it this whole time it was me zipper

amin and nick in a in a just a hot disgusting beautiful orgy of a room right boobies flying around yeah dicks and butts it's just you three though so it's it's a four of us uh but but yeah basically nick like i was we stayed in a hotel room with him i drove him home from the airport we took the same plane i was in first class fucking baller i'm never i'm never not flying it was insane i. I'm changed. And then I drove him home in my car. And so we're just in this condensed area this whole entire time. He needs COVID test. I get a PCR test after I found out he's positive and I don't get it, which I thought was crazy.

So while this is all happening, Eamon leaves. He does not come home with us. And he goes off on his great Boxing Day adventure with his beautiful mom. There are more relatives there than that. But yeah, I flew to Kelowna in BC, and I haven't been to Canada in over two years, which is the longest period of time in my whole life. And normal, pretty normal vacation was really nice.

Reconnected with a bunch of relatives I hadn't seen in a long time. Saw Eamon. Saw Evan. You know, I saw them earlier this year, but it's Evan and Ethan. Did people struggle understanding you?

Did people struggle to understand you now? Because of your bastardized American accent? My hard American accent? Yeah, your hard California accent. I swap into canadian mode as soon as i go back do you switch it definitely comes back without thinking i was little things speaking a lot of french at home yeah about timmy horton and shit yeah you talk

about timmy's medium double doubles the whole bit you know nice uh which which actually reminds me of something else so while while uh i went skiing like while i was there and i haven't gone in a long time fucking love skiing and i started videos, uh, of how to like improve my technique. Cause like I'm pretty good. Uh, but I think the big thing is like, I'm at a level where if I really want to improve, it has to be like more, more conscious. And, uh, I found this guy's YouTube channel just popped up in my recommended after I was like looking through like skiing videos and stuff and his name is steep steep and he used to make like videos of like this skiing video game I think but now he just like makes commentaries of like Canadian or like not Canadian necessarily but just skiing and like snowboard John boy he does basically

like typical react content but for ski competitions mostly and he's like super super passionate about it and he's like young larry and ticer doing react content he's the most canadian man i've ever watched is he funny or is he unintentional so fun it's so funny but it's so fun you know when you watch like an australian just kind of be an australian it's funny in that way because he's so overtly can. Like they're lizards in a tank. And I didn't know this, but like a lot of the terminology

when you get into like, you know, if anybody's ever played like Tony Hawk, for instance, right? There's a lot of like trick terminology that goes with the board.

And a lot of that carries over to snowboarding. None of this is helping you, right? Improve. No, no. Now I'm just watching this purely for entertainment. You're like trying to figure out

a kickflip and like, okay, so he's going to do a Christ air right here. No, no. Now I'm just watching this. He's really for it. I'm trying to figure out a kickflip and like, okay, so he's going to do a Christ air right here. No, this is exactly, this is not helpful to my technique at all, but he's so fucking entertaining. And I didn't know that like a lot of ski terminology for tricks and stuff is just different because they don't use boards.

So they just have totally different terms. And he is so psyched about every trick. Like he's just sitting in his room and he's and he you he'll just say three nouns and then a number and like that's the trick like he fucking give us one he fucking stogie mcdoubled twist 710 to that oh shit bro and and then he says buddy he like he sits up in his chair at the end of every trick and he's just like bud fucking buddy you just crushed that one, bro. He just crushed that body.

Did you just find your actual Patronus? Yeah, it's this guy. He just Japan 510 sent that. Is he drinking Molson's while doing this? Every video is like 20 minutes long, and this is him for every single minute of the video he's so upbeat for every moment of it this is it's like another language i don't understand a word i've skied almost my entire life and i don't know any of the terms except for like grab yeah and the

rudimentary even if even if you know nothing about skiing or don't care about the sport just go watch this guy's videos for like 10 minutes he's like he's like he's like a golden rich he's a canadian golden tree for just making making videos that that reminded me like because i've just found john boy like i got algorithmed into watching pretty much every john boy breakdown ever and i was like damn baseball is stupid and boring but i love this shit yeah baseballball is interesting when somebody makes a highly edited narrative about it. Yeah. I think you used my account because now I'm getting nonstop Roman history videos on my homepage. Dude, Fire of Learning is such a good channel because it's literally this guy with a shitty mic and just playing the same like seven pictures of like depicting ancient Rome.

It's like a slideshow. Yeah. But you really have to pay attention because it's hours long. And it's like, he's going to tell you everything. You are going to learn. But if you're not, if you're kind of checked out, too bad. I switched to a new guy. He does seven minutes.

They're great. I love the hour, bros. He does a series and it's if you were a time traveler who went back to Rome, how to survive. Okay. Yeah. I saw a guy do medieval. medieval it was like he was like this weirdly you know it's kind of there's something a little wrong if you're that into history maybe it's a it's wrong to call this guy this but it's this british guy and he's like he just seems perverse but maybe he's just british but either way he has he has this show where it's like he tries to live the life of like a

medieval peasant and he had to like make a fucking fence out of poop and like so it's like prehistoric that YouTube channel where they only use prehistoric technology I think this one medieval it's not a it seems like it was syndicated for TV and they just put it on YouTube that's how it feels because it's very like produced and kind of glossy like that but it's just this guy who's like why'd you hire him the guy the main guy he's just kind of glossy like that. But it's just this guy who's like, why'd you hire him? The guy? The main guy? He's just kind of perverse.

But maybe he's a normal guy. This is another human slime made sad. Add it to the list. Do we have a Google Doc on? People slime is made sad. It's like Kuno, my mom, British guy. Let me show growth. Hey, maybe I'm wrong.

That's just like saying something mean and then being like an asterisk on the end of an otherwise unchanging opinion you know what i'm the weird guy i speaking of perverse brits this was on the this is on the last night of the trip and uh to canada yeah so i i was staying up where uh up where you ski the the mountains big white, but then I came back down to Kelowna for the last night because I had to leave super early to get back today. Both the mountain and the strongest guy in prison

had the same name. Kelowna. That's right. Yep. Buttermilk. And it's my last night. I just wanted to go eat at a nice-ish restaurant. There's this chain in Canada called Cactus Club.

Canadians, light them up if that's Olive Garden. It's a little nicer. I would say it's kind of like cocktail bar-y restaurant-ish. I'll let the people decide. It's not like an Alba Bees. I'll let the people decide. It's definitely fancier than Alba Be's, but it's a fucking chain. So it's a TGI Fridays.

I don't think I've ever been in a TGI Fridays. It sounds like a little better than a Red Robin. It's like, it's not actually fancy. It's not actually fancy. It's just presented as fancy.

And it's not like Applebee's, to be clear. Okay. Anyway, I go, and I'm just going by myself. I'm going to go, you don't sit alone at the bar i do what happened to your family i'm totally cool they not love you anymore no no my dad drove

me out because they're all staying for one more day and i have to be back for my flight does he not want to eat dinner with you when he drives you down uh he doesn't love you no no right no probably not why didn't he eat with you no he offered before uh earlier on in the drive and i said no why'd you say that the apartment for like an hour and then i was like damn i'm really hungry that's weird you said no to eating with your father to eat alone at a restaurant he look that's weird that's weird of you it's not weird that's fucking weird i'm not gonna explain the the series of events that led up to that's like if i ask you to get Starbies. If I give you the full timeline, it's going to seem very normal, but it's not worth the explanation.

If I asked you to get Starbies and you said no, and then you went to get Starbucks 10 minutes later, that's what you did. It's not 10 minutes later. It's like two hours later. Are you willing to not explain everything, but accept the fact that you said no to your father who loves you? Fine.

Fine. I will accept that. Your father loves you. I wasn't hungry when I said no. He loves you. No, he wasn't hungry. And I walk. It's, by the way, it is the entire time I've been in Kelowna,

whether you're in the city or you're up at the mountain, it has been minus five to minus 10 Fahrenheit the whole fucking time. It's so fucking cold. And I walk there because I have no other way to get to the restaurant so i'm cold as shit and uh in the lobby are like two people one of whom is is a british and they're being like a little rowdy like a little a little loud and i'm like oh what whatever

so i go and sit uh sit at the bar so i'm gonna get like a drink a meal whatever and the two people that i saw earlier they were waiting and they come in a big group and it's a lot it's it's a it's a british family yeah it's they call it a uh a snipe when they walk together right right i forgot about that them in like seagulls and is that true for i don't know I think a snipe is a group of some animal. They're all very, very British, very loud, and very drunk. And one of them, to sit at the bar next to me, they need the chair next to me. And they might be assuming that, like, oh, somebody else is coming to meet me. They're not. I'm alone.

But I offer my chair up front. But I get into a conversation with this guy. Of course you do. He is so interesting out the gate. Sure, like some of the social anxiety, I'm sure, is gone already because he's very drunk. But we start talking. He runs like an interior decorating business in the UK. And as the conversation goes on, he leaves these little like tidbits around that kind of imply his level of

wealth. Like not intentionally. So, but I'm putting together the picture of like, this guy's got, this guy doesn't have like, this guy doesn't even have a lot of money. This guy has like,

fuck you money. Like, fuck you money. Cause he's talking to, he's like, yeah, okay. It's so hard.

If you start Australian and you try to slip into British, it can't be done. Okay, I'm Devo. I like how your prep board is. I gotta guess. Oh, you're a fucking dickhead. I need to go Irish. You're Irish. No, no, no.

You're just fucking, you bellend. Okay, so he's going to be like, oh, I'm a fucking interior decorator. That's Australian. Fuck! That's Australian. Dude, I can't do it anymore. All right, this guy's Australian instead, and he's like, yeah, you know, I just put some curtains up. I got my slide to do it for me.

That's the level of, that's the tidbit. That's the level of wealth. That's not a tidbit. I've been watching Roman history. So many people. The thing that eventually, the thing that really gives it away is he,

we're talking like the past few years, like what he's been up to. And he gets around to saying like, oh, well, when the pandemic started, we got stuck. We got stuck in Dubai for like six weeks.

We couldn't fly back. And he was like, yeah, Emirates gave me a call and they told me they're shutting down the flights for six weeks. couldn't fly back and uh and he was like yeah emirates gave me a call and they told me they're shutting down the flights for six weeks and i was like emirates called you called you and i was like so you were in first and for those who don't know like there's a difference between flying first class on like delta oh yeah where even internationally that ticket might be that ticket might be nine grand at most it could be

like you find it asian delta it might be nine grand for a nice first class seat emirates is like round trip 30k you're paying 30k for a first class it's a lot for you have to have dummy money a day of your life it's a lot and and then uh i'm like holy shit like what how how many houses have you fucking picked the the curtains for like i how do you get to this level of wealth doing interior decorating maybe i just don't understand this uh and he and then he shares like oh yeah me and my husband like i'm selling the business in like a year year and a half we're buying this uh chateau in south france near nice 29 rooms we're ready for like the next step in our life and he's just so chummy about he's not bragging he's just like he

is clearly so excited to live in this on this on this acre chateau chateau in france with his husband he has so many slaves you don't clean a 29 bedroom house without slaves the whole time he's he told me he's 54 and his nephew is also uh very british very drunk and so unfortunate for him the whole time he's sitting behind he's sitting behind us and occasionally he'll just lean over he's like he's my gay uncle this is my gay uncle and and he'll give him a big, like, He's from Jamaica. And then he'll just, and then he'll go back to his own shit. Like, he's like,

he'll pour him a drink. He's like, get another drink. Get another drink. It's my gay uncle. He's like pouring out a pitcher. It's my, this one extra guy for you. Turns out, turns out this guy lives in LA. He lives in LA now.

He's a scout for an MLS team. What's crazy is that he is also like an uncle worth 50 million but the like the fact about him is still that he's gay yeah yeah it's just a one syllable he just kept he just kept saying it rich uncle is my rich uncle we uh gay still more interesting we keep talking like this and as we get deeper into the conversation they allude that uh that the the older guy that i've been talking to most of the time he's not allowed back into the u.s but they won't tell me why they kind of make jokes about it but every time they make like a joke about it oh you won't catch this guy in orlando again murders like they they they like backpedal. They like,

no, we're just kidding. I'd hate to be an Uber driver with this guy in the States. Woo! I, I, I'm like,

this is so, this is so weird. Like you travel the world, you're very successful, but you're banned from entering the US. Like you can't, you can't visit your nephew. We get around to,

we get around to a different conversation where he's describing his old life as a flight attendant before he started his interior decorating business. And he tells me about how when he was really young, he used to be really fit, used to work out and run a lot. But by the time he became a flight attendant, he worked for Air New Zealand, I think. He was like, he's getting a little big. He's getting a little fat, he says.

A little thick. uh he was like he's he's getting a little big he's getting a little fat he says well and one of his uh co-workers who is also british on the working for the same airline at the time tells him like hey i have this thing that helped me lose weight check this out it's this like it's this little drug you just take it every once in a while and you uh it'll help you drop a few drop a few pounds and he's like oh that sounds great like how do i how do i take it and she's like well you can uh you can like crush and like snort it if you want you could like inject it i don't really do that uh or what i do most of the time i sprinkle it and mix it into tea and i drink tea and he's like okay well that sounds fine like i'll try it and he starts uh he starts taking this this drug that she introduced him to and at the table at no

no no as their flight the first time is doing it on doing it on a flight he sips the teas like tastes like shit but it's like we're br. This seems like the easiest way to go about it. I like it. Literally can't do a great gesture. I love that. I love that. Fucking love tasting shit. And, and he, he says like,

yeah, I tried it and I was eating less, ate some less in the meals and I started losing weight. Like it worked pretty, pretty well. And I was coming in the States like a few months later and uh i get like a random like a random stop and one of the security ladies pulls my pulls my weight loss drug out of my bag and in my head i'm like this is it this is why he's banned from the united states and uh but he's

like yeah it's just like my weight loss drug and the lady the security lady who's also rather big tells him she's like oh i could use some of that honestly like like she doesn't realize like she just believes him outright and he moves on and in my head i'm like that's not what you got kicked out of the country for fucking carrying meth with you he's been doing meth the whole time it is meth sipping meth tea did he know, he didn't know this whole time. It's just his weight loss drug. He just thinks it's a weight loss drug. Wait, did you tell him this news?

No, no. He realizes way later. So he comes back to LA while he's still a flight attendant. So he flew international borders with meth. Yeah, he's been carrying meth for a full year as his weight loss supplement. And it works. He's thin now. He's thin, but he's starting to get like he he's thin now he's thin but

like he's starting to get dangerously thin where like his friends are warning him like what are you taking do this and he's just like i don't know like got me down like a bunch of pounds right he comes to la for like a weekend off of a flight right he gets there on friday and they're gonna go out friday night and he has to leave on monday and he they go out he does his like you know he's fucking addicted to meth not realizing not realizing that his weight loss supplement supplement is a devastating uncle amphetamine my gay addicted to meth uncle and he was telling me about presumably sipping the meth the whole time because he never said he did it any other way that's the other part that blows my mind is he's just,

he's making meth tea over and over to, to lose, to lose weight and feel good. That is the most British way to do a schedule. Fucking one. Yeah. He takes, he,

the least hard way to do drugs. He takes it while he parties. Like the queen. He parties a lot and he, they're going out on the town in la and uh he remembers like after after like partying a bunch on that first friday night right one of his friends asked him when are you going home he says monday and then he's like uh his friend is like oh so you're here for the whole week and then he's like no like i'm only a couple days i'm leaving on monday

and he's like what that doesn't make any sense what are you talking about and then he realizes that he has been up for four days he has stayed up through his flight the following monday and he is talking to his friend on tuesday after his flight has already left and then and at this moment this is like he said this was the moment where he realized like oh this might be a problem dude that is insane that got too far and he quit he quit he he figured out that it was like meth and then he had a meth addiction and he quit the meth addiction which which is apparently very hard. Yeah. But I've heard it's not easy. Yeah.

But this, this is like this whole thing unraveling of like, I just wanted to lose weight. I started accidentally doing crystal meth. I take it by sipping tea. Like surely you have to buy it. This is just this man sitting next to me at the bar. I think he kept getting it through his coworker who just told him it was a weight loss supplement. There's holes in this story. Well, okay so it they do sell meth as a drug it's for narcoleptics it's called like d it's deoxys or something the pokemon yeah you suck down deoxys come and then you lose weight it is prescribed so maybe it's like this person had a plug or maybe

they're just like getting it from Thailand or something. Yeah. That's where you get Xanax. So you end up talking to this guy the entire dinner? Yeah. Instead of your father who you love? We talk for, yeah, for like a couple hours. I meet like the rest of his family.

We talk a bunch too. Crazy, by the way, because his sister was, they were asking like what I did right and i basically introduced that the idea that i like work with like youtubers and shit and his sister was like oh my son here like the youngest guy at the table makes youtube videos and stuff and uh i'm like i start asking him questions he doesn't know what twitch is though, or he, he says he knows what it is, but he doesn't like watch it. And then he didn't know who you were, but she knew who you were. She's like 50, like late fifties, early fifties.

Maybe she knew who you were, what Twitch was like, knew about like thumbnail. It was crazy. Did not ask. Did not ask. Didn't ask. Don't. She could be a yard viewer. We could follow up. She might be watching the yard.

She might be watching the yard. Do you hear my alt-right rabbit hole take? That was very funny. From the yard to Ludwig to Atriok. That was a funny tweet. Yeah. So to cap off the night, the whole time, by the way, BC has this rule when you're sitting at a bar,

you can have your mask off. But if you stand up, you have to have it on. And the whole time the guy that i told you we kept saying oh this is my gay uncle he's he's the most drunk for sure he's having a great time but he keeps standing out of his chair and he keeps getting fucking reprimanded for it and uh which is kind of a weird rule to be honest it's like it's like no when you're when you're vertical the germs travel faster because it's higher and it falls down like uh like spit like dust like dusty in the wind and i i uh i like exchanged exchanged info uh with them and i got this text

uh from the the older guy uh after i got back it says well you got out at a good time police were called can't stand without a mask bloody Bloody ridiculous what the bar caused Chris. Chris went to the loo without a mask and got in trouble. Jesus, I've been to cocaine sex parties with less issues. This is the guy? This is the... You have him on message? Yeah.

You text him? Let me see this. Eamon is going to like... Yeah. I also have the other guy's number. Eamon is going to end up in one of the 29 bedrooms of this fucking like actual like drugged you know i was thinking like he kept saying his interior designer maybe it's like a metaphor like uh like in the irishman it's like oh i paint

houses he showed me their store like showed me their storefront in london are you sure are you gonna be like their third like a third like to the party perhaps oh yeah you're the fuck boy they're young he's gonna be the fuck slave they're young hairless call me by your name boy yeah you're gonna be there they're smooth little otter of a man and they'll and then you'll be walking around they'll be like oh little aiden oh that it's gonna be your real life nick chasing you around yeah with a british accent yeah asking for your prostate bags leaving it ice i dated a girl who uh she she had gotten in touch uh it was like through tinder's and this a long time ago she was telling me that she saw this couple every now and then and there was like an

older couple and they they like treated her like a princess they would like take her out and they would like buy her food and stuff and she was like kind of like yeah princess they would like take her out and they would like buy her food and stuff and she was like kind of like yeah this is fine like she was uh she was biased she was like you know this is something she's also adventurous she's like this is something i'm interested in and uh you know like these people were like unicorn hunting or whatever and she was like yeah so it finally came time where it's like i hung out a couple times with these people and they're like hey we have a hotel room in like downtown la fucking swanky time where it's like I hung out a couple times with these people and they're like, hey, we have a hotel room in like downtown L.A. fucking swanky spot. And she's like, OK, I guess I'm going to have sex with these people.

And she does not sound. Yeah. Yeah. It was more like it was more like it was something she's interested in, but not like totally like, you know, it sounds like she knew going in that this might be an outcome. It was also she was like they were very nice. And anytime she was like, I don't like this, they'd be like yeah okay you know whatever like it was it sounded like a very fine agreement it was very strange to hear about either way she tells me so you know i go up and uh they basically just they we didn't do anything sexual they just literally laid down with me and just like like talked to me like

treated her like a like a like a little friend it was really weird and all i just remembered this with you talking about this guy and him being their sweet sweet little otter friend aiden would love that no sex i could do this in the chateau. No butt stuff. No cum. And you, well, it'd be Canada, so it's fine. But, yeah, they would just talk to you. Yeah, like, I've enjoyed you guys fucking me and, like, cleaning the Chateau, but honestly, I just don't really enjoy France. So I'm just going to head out, but, like, thanks, guys, for, like, the offer. And honestly, all this Gucci clothes is really cool.

He's, like, trying to get the cum out of his jeans i'd have a wonderful time in france yeah so that's really exciting that's the next chapter of your life yeah you decide to give up on the merch you what did happen within that conversation is because his uh his sister who had a very clearly like a better understanding of just like online marketing and like the online world in general she had been talking to him a bunch earlier that day about how he needs to be more like have more of a web presence for his business if it's gonna like carry on in the future and then i i like loosely described to him like a strategy you know when you watch those videos about like fancy houses or penthouses no you've been watching mad men i know i call it whatever don't reprimand me like you didn't watch these videos all the fucking time like a year ago hey

moved on oh you did on stream yeah moved on so i'm just describing like what those videos are like and like kind of like what the titles and thumbnails of those videos are like to get young people to click on them and he's interested because like he just doesn't understand but he wants to like expand in that area of business and she's like i've been telling him this all day i've been telling him this all day she's like you could hire him you're leaving me to be a slave who does house tours i'm gonna go i'm gonna go advertise this interior design company on tiktok and move to france welcome to this 500 million dollar house in southern spain i can't you know what's funny is like in quickbooks you make up the titles right of your company and you write in what they are i'm just imagining some accountant just typing in fuck slave as your official title.

You couldn't do a tour. No, I wouldn't be the tour guy. No, no, like a tour, like a nom, like a fuck. Yeah, you couldn't do a tour. You wouldn't last a day in nom. Not even at that Best Buy.

You wouldn't last a day as their little fuck rabbit. You wouldn't last a day. You wouldn't last a day. You got it easy with me. All right, I'll tell you that much. This one's for the fans. I'd be great at that job.

Come on, man. Come on. Boss makes a dollar. I'd kill that gig. Kill that. For right now, I'd give you a raise. No. You just said no? You say no like you had... Oh, that's so pathetic. Well, he's got the fuck slave money now. You said no like you have standards. You couldn't do it. You just said no? You say no like you had, like, oh, that's so pathetic.

Well, he's got the fuckslate money now. You said no like you have standards. You just can't. I've got a new income. I don't need you. Don't worry about income. I got that outcome. Speaking of income, you know what I watched six hours straight the other night?

Train. No way. Still? I finally get I never watch train do slots or whatever

I never watched him really kind of at all yeah and then I was doing I was doing a spreadsheet I was doing some sort of

like work that I just I like to it's been 18 months throw up a stream uh huh and I just watched train for 6 hours

and bro that yeti just keeps fucking him and will not let up it won't he just needs one more map. Yeah.

Dude, just one more fucking map, bro. When you posted about this in our group chat, he's talking about these trade VODs, right? So I go to look because at the time, train has been live for 32 hours. Yeah. And I'm like, I wanted to see because I was like, oh, shit, that is so much time. I guess he actually does do that every once in a while. I go to look at the VODs. His last four videos are all 44 plus hour streams.

And I message Anthony and Anthony just said, yeah, dude, he's going to die. Yeah, I agree. Like your body just can't do what he's gonna give out yeah you literally cannot live life the way he's living it for much longer and i tuned in when he was when he's like on hour 32 or whatever right no cam just a fucking emote in the corner that's right he sounds like a broken man i subbed i subbed because i wanted to chat because i wanted to say play i wanted him to play a game that i thought was cool and i saw i primed i primed so i could be like play the rat you know there's 20,000 people and then yeah but maybe he sees it he's like oh no i'm not gonna play the rat one fuck

that one like i i wanted to play him to play the rat one because it was hype also i tuned in and he's like his balance is 2.5 million. Yeah. And I'm like, zam. And I screenshotted that and I sent it. I was like, okay, he's at 2.5 million. That's crazy to me because it's the first time I've seen it. And then I just watched him lose like 500K.

He is so much richer than me. Dude. How? He has so much money. This is what I don't understand, right? He's playing the game. He is losing more than he's winning. Uh-huh.

No, I mean, yes, he is. Is he getting paid so much by the gambling company that it's just plus EV to do it no matter what? Yeah, I, no, okay. I do not think the rate at which he's gambling and the amount that he is gambling is plus EV. I mean, he's probably like still breaking even or going positive for how much he's making from the sponsor. Do you know how much he gets paid?

Yeah. Really? Are you allowed to disclose it? No. No. That's definitely – after Zipper turns the lights off. Certainly not. We talked some numbers.

He said before that it's millions that he's getting paid. And so he's – I don't know. It's like, I think he just has a gambling addiction. Dude, yeah, obviously. He's a psycho. As someone who has a gambling addiction, he does. And to be able to watch him do it and kind of feel it without risking any money is honestly really honestly really hype yeah like i i am not kidding i didn't just like i just watched him play those slots dude and i was like damn i want to be like that

sometimes he hits a good one too and he has clips of his viewership has gone up dude it's that's that's because he streams for 40 hours because like the longer you stream especially if you cross over the 24 hour threshold you will accumulate more and more dead viewers and then the original viewers at the peak hours will come back people are falling asleep with this stream on yeah and then they wake up and he's just that yet he just keeps it's like the subathon like the subathon i had a lot of viewers and there's a lot of dead viewers and anytime i'd hit the 48 hour mark which is where twitch automatically resets your stream i would lose a shit ton when i go back live because all the people who are watching like passively or who weren't at the computer it shuts

down on that and so uh yeah it's crazy but you know it's it i i just i'm like damn i have a when he's not on now i'm like oh man i found a streamer that i like i hope he's okay oh dude i don't think he's gonna be okay it's like icarus bro like you know he has enough money to be set for life and it's like the more he does this presumably the more he'll have and he could end right now or he could end later to have more money eventually there's a point where it's too late yeah your body is how old is he 30? He's in his 30s? Yeah. Shit, he missed the 27 window. I want to say he's in his 30s.

I would hate to mislabel. Drain, if you end up watching this somehow, I want you to know I love those fucking streams, but also if you quit to become a healthier person, I wouldn't blame you. 31. Bo's in the house. You are also 31.

Yeah. Dude, what is... God, he's such a... He are also 31 Yeah Dude what is God he's such a He's going to die He's more accomplished He's going to die I was at the Shit camp right And uh

And I'm trying to like Wrangle everyone For the first stream And it's gonna be on XQC's stream And I'm like Where the fuck is he And I keep running around

I finally find him He's inside the house By himself With all these streamers here Just gambling Like offline I love that Dgen spinning I love that so much He's inside the house by himself with all these streamers here just gambling. Like offline. I love that. D-Gen spinning.

I love that so much, dude. What are you doing? They're just like us. Streamers are just like us. He's just rolling thousands. Don't say that. He's rolling thousands. And I'm like, dude, what are you doing?

Because you've got to bet a lot to feel something. You're saying us? No, yeah. Us? No. I'm not like this. Yeah, not yet. And don't say it like that it's it's soon i walk

he's you know i walk he's like no dude i made like dude i mean like so much this month like and he's like he's talking about how it's okay because he's he's made money dude and i'm like yeah but also we are here together now you can hang out no there's action yeah there's action there's always there's always action in online gambling yeah that's and that's hype i might be sounding like a hilarious contrarious right now but i genuinely man i love gambling you also used to be a freak gambler so how did you change this the rush of gambling for me was betting all the money i had and now it's gone now it would be unreasonable to bet that with so many people's livelihoods at stake yeah so I can't do that that's good so the rush is kind of gone for me no that's cool I I do like my job dude imagine you could gamble employees and it's like you like

put amen you could bet me on like a chess match yeah and you and you get two Amens back. Dude, I would actually gamble your life away if I could. Like in anime, I would do that. Like Akagi? Yeah. Bloodwake! You misclicked 50K on football tickets! That's basically my net worth! You gambled!

You misclicked me away! You didn't even gamble me away! You misclicked me away! That's really funny. All right, I'm going to call in the air. Zipper, can you coin flip? Can you pull up a coin flip? Just type in coin flip in Google. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. What the fuck? Let him work.

Let him work. He's clutching right now. He's clutching. Alright, so, wait, pull up a new tab and do it again and I'll tell you when to pull it up for us so we can see it and then I'll call it in the air. If it's heads, we win. We win big. Alright, I'm gonna give you a crisp dollar bill. If it's tails, we win. We win big, all right? I'm going to give you a crisp dollar bill.

If it's tails, you die. We're going for it, baby. Flip that coin zipper. Pull it up, baby. Ooh. Oh, fuck. So, Eamon dies. Yeah.

If this is roulette. Can we do it after the episode? And you bet one Eamon. You're dead. You're dead. Hey, man. If this is roulette. Can we do it after the episode? And you bet one Amon. You're dead. That's that. Hey, man. Pleasure. Holy shit.

Meeting you. Damn, that sucks. We have to replace Amon now. Yeah. That's annoying. Move him. Swap him now. Hey, guy.

Welcome. I meant for the merch company. This guy don't wear clothes. Yeah, I ain't worried about that. Real quick. Wait, are we at time? We are at time, yeah. Okay, before we do, i told nick we'd call him

um because i think oh for the yard i think we should do something because for the new year it is new year and i think we should go around and say our new year's resolutions okay i'm gonna call nick all right and i'm gonna facetime him and he'll be he'll be our first and that allows you guys to think about what you want well i, I will feel, because I know mine. Coming in at 2022, guys, I've had the best year of my life, 2021. So it's a pretty hard thing to topple. What I would like most, though, is some better organization of finances. Shut the fuck up.

I literally sat. More controlled spending. We talked today about some stuff, like some further mogul moves, honestly. He's got some big plans. And I was like, so there needs to be someone that's in charge of this and this and this. And he's like, yeah, I think that we can do that. And I'm like, we don't need another person to do this, by the way, if you just tell me that it's happening. Like, you can just tell me when something like this occurs and I can help out

and we don't need to like wait for a company to give us like $100,000. We can just have it right when they say. And he was like, yeah, okay. Like he's listening now. I don't know what it is.

I don't know what got into Ludwig. Was it the 54K that fucked with you or something? Well, it wasn't. What got into you? It wasn't great. Certainly. I've seen you at less. Well, look, I have now a plethora of employees.

Now, can I say I'm at 10? Yes. Okay, thank you, you fucking. So I got to take care of it. I got to make sure the finances are all good. But you'd still gamble Nick Yingling on a blackjack table. I would bet Amon. But not Nick?

If I had to double down if I lost Amon. Okay. I'm still being bet first. Eight's facing a nine. You split. And then you get a three. And then we double with Nick there. Yeah.

But Amon. I need a third now because i'm doubling down right then that's nick time okay but so nick nick's at nick's an 11 yeah but amen is like uh you're six facing a facing a 10 the cards don't lie come on man cars don't lie bro better than that hey. The cards don't lie, bro. I'm better than that. Hey, whatever happens, happens. Call up Nick's. What's your... Okay, all right, all right. Call up Nick. Let's find his resolution. Tell him your actual resolution.

I think that's a resolution of mine, is better organization throughout the year. Will you have meetings with me? Like an actual agenda meetings. You have meetings with me? Sure, yeah. Do you mean it? I'll have meetings.

You mean it, Pop? I mean it. I mean it. Pop means it. All right, I'm calling Nick. And I think expanding on the other stuff, you know, I'd like to continue climbing. Oh, I look funny in this hat. I'm quite the climber.

All right. I'm going to try to make it so he's like with us. You just put him in the mic. This just should be an audio thing. No, but I wanted to FaceTime him. Yeah, but they won't see the face. No, they can. Hey! Move the dinosaur. Hey, what's up't see the face. No, they can. Hey!

Hey, what's up? It's like you're here. Wow. Welcome to the yard. You gotta put him right into it. It's like I'm there. Hold on, hold on. Gotta put him right into it. Beaker. It's all about money to him now, isn't it? Okay, so you said it's like you're here, but you get to make the

money and not do the work. That is crazy because I am the one that clicks the button heartening that you're all throwing a party it looks like and i'm up there which is well it's new year's new year new me kind of a new year's ep so how's it going so anyway we wanted to call you you look so deathly sick from your disgusting little covid dungeon one how are you feeling how am? Yeah. I feel like fully recovered at this point. That's it? Even his fractured immune system can... I feel very surreal.

I haven't left my room in like eight days. Yeah, what changed? It's crazy. That's crazy, man. What's your New Year's resolution? New Year's resolution? Yeah. I don't have...

I literally asked you... I want to hit a V6. He wants to do a somewhat difficult climb. What's wrong with you two? Do you think that's a good New Year's resolution? Yeah, to do in one year? Yeah, it'd be pretty hard to get there. Can you rephrase this in melee terms for me?

He wants to be chilling, dude. I want to get a win on a top 50 player. No! No! You know it goes to like V15, bro. No, a top 100 player is not that hard. Dude, bro, you're talking about beating Nick Yingling. Yeah.

You're talking about beating Nick Yingling. We're bad climbers. Yeah. If we translated your melee skill into a rock wall, you're already hitting V5s, 6s, 7s. You're hitting V8s. V9s. No, you're crazy. You're hitting V8s. V9s. No, you're crazy.

You know it goes to V15, right? All the climbers I know that climb V6 level have been climbing for more than four years. Okay. Well, that's actually pretty ambitious then. Yeah. I think you could hit one. Yeah. They're all kind of arbitrary.

I think you could beat Chillin' Dude. All right, Slime, what's your New Year's resolution? My New Year's resolution, it's, okay, this is, all right. I will, I thought of this. I am going to tell you guys after the show, because if I say what it is, people will try to ruin it, but it's an endurance thing. How about be nicer to my mother?

I will not do that. Yeah, stop bullying mothers. no or humans no my mom in hell didn't die for nothing what just for me to have to be nice to your goddamn moms that's fair that's so much yeah i hope you be always uncomfortable now does not mean you're right um okay what's yours, Eamon? By the way, Ludwig said his resolution, Nick, was to be more organized. That'd be great. I would love that.

Yeah, I said the same thing. Then I would achieve all of the Power Stones. Shut the fuck up, Ludwig. It's all I'm missing. What's yours, Eamon? I want to get a plethora of retro video game consoles and then put them in resin to create a decorative piece good we didn't talk about it at all no what what why is that funny that's a fire go i'm with you bro yeah it seems like a cool it seems like a cool activity

and or hobby to be into this this that news story is a nothing bomb it's a nothing burger yeah dexterity all right about it i think it's more people outraged at the very few people upset about it you know what i mean yeah like the backlash to the backlash is bigger nick have you ever sat in a seat up here that isn't yours uh yeah i sat in all of them it's like fucking surreal i sat in your chair once and i was like this is not i was gonna have a panic attack yeah aiden's is the worst by far what it's more the perspective it's not like the chair a chair it's like his position his position's fine it's just constructed the worst i just when i when i see the world the way you look at it on this podcast

i'm like zam all right well we're time. Anyway, this is our guy. This is who we replaced. I have the worst chair. I'm getting gambled away first. Hey, you're already dead. You made a video where you hate me. Did you hear that Mango tier listed our house

for his favorite people? Did you hear that? Really? If I had to guess, I can tell you the order. It goes slime. No, no,

no. Aiden? You're wrong. Shut up. Let me do it. I know the answer. Let him do it. Number one, It goes slime? Aiden? Let him do it. That's fucking right. What the fuck? No, that's fucking right. And he actually has a good reason. It's because you didn't follow the goat.

It's not because of that. Well, it should be. It's because of the plop thing at Smash Summit 9. It's because he didn't make it out of pools after he lost 3-0. It's because he lost the seed. And I miscommunicated with him. Also, Nick's real cocky. He plays one Valorant game.

He's bottom of the list. That's true. When you get 4,500 credits, it's over. What have I done? Why am I at the bottom of the fucking list? My defense is that he was talking about me playing Valorant before he said the list, so he had it on his mind. He just forgets, dude.

Once he plays Mario Party against you, it's over. Okay, well, listen, Nick. All right, COVID boy. This is who replaced you. We actually got kind of used to him, so. All right, shut up. Goodbye, COVID boy. We don't care now.

No, no, let him take out the show. Okay. All right, take out the show. All right, take out the show, COVID boy. We don't care now. No, no, let him take out the show. Okay. All right, take out the show. All right, take out the show. What's the clickbait? What's the clickbait? Damn. I got COVID-19, and now I have breasts.

It's a woman. Are you going to show them on the primo? On the primo? On the premium, I will show my new double breasts. Wow. And then on the next episode primo on the primo on the premium i will show my my new supple breasts wow and then on the next episode the next normal episode we're gonna suckle them that's so big we're all gonna gather around me like why don't you do a q a for the special like i did shut the fuck up yeah i'm the only one that fucking works in this group all right hey thanks for watching the yard bro thanks for covid for not killing our friend nick and uh thank you i also hope covid doesn't kill our accountant who has it

and she's a very sweet lady wow i found that out today that's crazy dude dead ass i'm like hey you know what you better take it easy uh and we'll see you and we'll see you on the primo when you can see this giant breasts let's go