The Yard - Ep. 262 - Aiden's New Cat!

Episode Date: August 5, 2026

This week, the boys talk about Streamer Games, the Hank Green AI drama, and how Aiden's new cat has been leaving a mess.. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This might be the most drinks and items of food per capita we've had in the beginning of any episode. You got more. So I got one. How about that? One, two. You got another drink over there? Welcome to the Survivor List Bunker episode. How long we can last in the yard set.

I think in honor of all the drinks and the food, I was thinking we could commemorate by doing 10 minutes of phone time. Start this episode. Really? 10 minutes of 1. 10 minutes straight. No, I like that. Uninrupted phone time. Yeah.

And we're all just sometimes one of us goes, Who wants to try? How do you explain how that got delivered to us? Aiden, did you hear it? It's 10 minutes of phone time right now. Oh my God. I like phone time because it's loki bagel time during phone time. Dude, you would use 10 minutes of phone time so bad.

Yeah. You got the most boring scrolls of all time. I'm telling you right now. I'm looking at it's work. I'm thinking about delete Narc's out. They're doing that thing where they post like scores from games. It's fine if it's phone time, but don't bring up what's on the phone. Okay.

You can't tell me what you're looking at on your phone. So that means you're locked in on the phone. Unless. Let me lock in. Unless Lacey comes out as bisexual. If Lacey comes out as bisexual. Well, that's news. We need to know that. That's breaking news.

Breaking news. I think it's breaking news. We also told us first and we're kind of waiting for the announcement because we've been ready to like kind of support them publicly. Dude, I did a mogul money yesterday and we had like a power failure. Like power went down and part of the warehouse. So we're trying to get it fixed. I'm playing with a bunch of screenagers. Dude. Yes, you, yes, the way you're eating a bagel

He's really eating it I, you know what, and I'm actually gonna say this Because slime loves to do this, slime was late as fuck And eating called a sharp in wasn't here Oh hey, but it's just me and Nick locking it in And then they show up in one's housing a bagel Is it a bagel? Important detail I feel like we can't brush over though

Yeah It wasn't razor sharp It was just sharp It was just sharp. But we reset you're forgetting the great reset Oh God This is it awesome God Amen

And he's still phone time He's so locked Dude I know And it's been 10 minutes Already Yeah Actually we have 10 minutes left in the pot Dude it flies by

When you're talking to Lynn And Discord dude So I had a bunch of screenagers It was Wardrobe Joe Bark KDB Power goes out They all get on their phones Bro

Wardrobe gets on his phone starts laughing hysterically. Like, I've never seen... Did you just litter in the yard? It's funny if you just keep going. Hysterically laughing? Like, but so much so that Katie gets off her phone just to look at him on his phone time

because his phone time's so much better. And then she looks at me and I got, my phone time's never like that. No. My phone never does that. Wardrobe has a J.B. And Katie has a JT. Yeah. It's that simple.

I think most of us have JTs. Yeah, mine's a JT for sure. I think if you think it's a JB, you don't realize how much of a JT it is. It's interesting because slime from four years ago did think it was a JB. Mine Pokemon transformed into a JT. It has changed. It started like, you know, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, and I press B.

The phone used, and Archie, censor this. If you guys have seen the viral meme, around. Right. Phone time is maybe bad. I think you can say that. No, it's not okay. Let's not test the water.

Let's not even try. Let's not test the water. I think technically you can say it. Technically, but I wouldn't want to. He could bleep in a way that makes it sound worse. Just bleep the first part.

Saying that, saying that right now and keep it in the episode is a great way to make it a JT for the week. Because I, okay, so I, That's what lazy would look like post-turvy.

Archie, do not put it in the episode. No, if you censored the first who letters, it'd be horrible. Yes. Archie, my life's in your hand. I was on my J.B., right? And I'm scrolling. Well, I was on my JT at the time. And I'm scrolling.

I get one of those memes. The second post right after it, another one. The third post, another one, in a row, three in a row. Yeah. And I'm like, my algorithm is back. And my girlfriend's like, why do you go on that fucking website? That's all you see. And I was like, you don't understand.

This is what the internet was. Three animal posts in a row? Yes, bro. Like, I'm back. Yes, bro. So the JT has turned into a temporary J.B. Sometimes it does hit. What?

What's that? I stand with Hank Green. Oh, I stand with Hank Green. Ah. I think I mildly stand with Hank Green. I think it's a generational oral loss. But I think him going like the LLN's... You see both sides?

The dopamine cycle. The dopamine cycle is just, just too much for me. I'm glad to have the fence out my ass and write in yours. I'm more willing to criticize him. You are just saying you kind of have his side. Yeah. And then brought up both points.

Yeah. Yeah. Because I'm not going to give him a pass on something if someone else did. I would call them lame too. And I like... Yeah, so I see both sides. It was very quickly distorted, I feel. Like what happened? I read his own words and I was like, mm-hmm. What? What happened? You miss?

He used chat cheap tea Dude, he tried to drink an entire Peanut Butter Liquid Death at a local Hospital and he started shitting Violently, like violently diarying No It was weird, he got a bad one He was on a make-a-wish

Like trip, you know, he was for a kid He was love science And he shot in front of the kid He's gone in his mouth So what happened is he ends up in a hospital bed Yeah, Mr. Beast now comes to Hank Green Yeah, as his make a wish Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Right Hank Green got a make a wish Yeah, and Hank Green says, oh my God, Mr. B. Was the poop still in his mouth? In his mouth? Now they hoased it out like at the dentist. A little bit came out of the mouth after you hose it out of the mouth. As a dentist, they just do the water pick and it gets a...

And now we're... Okay, this makes it. We're making fun of hay cream. And slime doesn't because slime sees... A man should not be getting poop in his mouth. Yeah, yeah, that's a lot of poop in his mouth. And I think it's okay for a man to have poop in his mouth. Separate from that, there was a second thing that also happened, right?

it was like an AI thing. This strikes me as the main thing. No, it's the main thing. Yeah, I don't even know. I was to mix it up. Yeah, he was saying he used LLMs to find research papers to then read and then interpret himself

and then make his videos, which is like totally fine. I think I read his like sort of self-flagellating explanation and how like the LLMs give him such a dopamine cycle that he's like, I really got to take a step back. And I thought that was like

kind of stupid. I thought it was kind of stupid Because you wanted to like stand on business with it? I don't even know about standing on business I don't know I guess I didn't think about it too deeply but my initial thought was like blaming something on like

oh the chat GPT just gives me like so much so much of a release it's like yeah I mean it gave a lot of those guys that ended up killing their girlfriends a lot of release too because it would validate their thoughts and it's like you know you think people in their 40s love

fucking AI. They fucking love it. I don't know why. I mean, I think it's the guy who the guy who really popularized it, Sam, Big Sam, you know? When he was, he was like, you know, I just had an idea. This just gave me an idea.

I should ruin the world. You know? Like, what if the next thing I did was, was ruining the entire world? It's not defamation. It's news. It happened in the news. I know. There was a trial. Sam Holman comes for the yard podcast. I don't think there was a trial, but. I didn't know.

I didn't know you were French. Anything that technology in the building starts to fucking and fizzle out. Like what's happening? I do think his like use of it is like fine. I don't care. I think that's very normal. It actually sets up a guardrail like that he determined

and I think it's a very fair one. But I think his response to it was just like a classic blunder. Wait, am I crazy? He's basically just saying that he uses like, uses it like Google search and then pulls and then follows the links that he reads the papers themselves. Yeah, I do. I also do that.

I think the, like, part of the criticism was that it sounded like he had a script that sounded like AI. Yeah. Oh, so is like the misrepresented argument that he's writing his scripts with AI? Yeah, I think that was like the takeaway. He said, he had said,

he had said that I appreciate the pushback in a way that seemed out of context and then people interpreted that as he accidentally read AI saying that to him as part of a script that he was saying to other people. Oh, because yeah, the model will be like, you're so right for correcting me here. Thank you.

Thank you for correcting me. Thank you for placing your nuts on my tongue and teaching me the real way. Would you like to see my breasts now? Breast time. It does. Genzi's trying to cancel Hank Green. Yeah, I think he lives this one easy.

Thing is, Genzi doesn't know. You can live a lot of these. This one, I think, is tough because of how muddy. people are trying to make it online and because he's an educator. Yeah, there's not much nuance. It's more like Hank Green, I think what I have seen, sucks off Sam Altman directly, loves using AI, has fired all scriptwriters in lieu of AI.

And it also supports the Israeli apartheid. Wow. I've seen all of this. Oh, wow. Aiden's getting called out. Aiden with the legal call out. 30 second time out. Ada takes his first walk into Zippers Domain from an episode ever.

He's made his first last week. What is happening? Why are we all going through Zippers Domain to leave the yard? Zippers domain, it lures you in. Is he demanding more of us? Perhaps. Wow. It must be important if Ben is pausing the yard.

It's a bit of a portal. We're saved. We're saved. And he's back. So what was so important that it needed to? Sorry. This is your job. Sorry, it's one of your nine jobs that you take on. Sorry. Well, I take care of each other.

My times and hide it in. Now you have to drink the diarrhea water. If you drink it, you'll end up like Hank, I warn you. Yep, okay. It's liquid death. It's liquid death, which is water brand, but peanut butter. If you don't want to, I really would like to try it. We have like 70.

I want that. I want the one that was handed to him because I'm like a dog where I see food given to a human. I'm like, that's my food now. Dude, this. Give it a try. Give it a taste. Oh, no, we didn't explain how it arrived at a, at our home base. Yeah, well, I get

messages sometimes, like, by sometimes I mean once every two years from someone who works for Mr. Beasts. No. And she's like, hey, are you around? Mr. Bees has a gift, which always means like there's some promo for an item. Sure. And like, in the past, like, they've been

like a little silly. It's like a red carpet comes out and a guy in a suit opens a briefcase and it's like a feastables barn. And I'm like, okay. And I think the ideas I'm supposed to film it. I never film it. I just experience it. Do we still have the machine here? The vending machine?

Yeah, we do. Does that vending machine still have bars in it? The vending machine, I have no clue. How did they do that? So one of the things they gave us a couple years ago now was a full feastables vending machine stocked. But this vending machine sat in our warehouse. Which doesn't have AC.

Which doesn't have AC and over the course of the summer turns into a heater. It gets hotter in the warehouse than it is outside. And what this means is every day, The chocolate in the machine went through the cycle of melting within the plastic bar, but then hardening overnight. So it's just this warped kind of art piece of re-melt, a thousand remelted chocolates. It's like a dolly painting.

Yeah. And it's beautiful, but they're not fit for human consumption. Instead of clocks on a tree, it's feastables bars melted across it to imply time as a malleable thing. So anyway, today I get to hit up. I'm like, all right, I'm, you know, I'll be here at, whatever, 11 o'clock, and then outside I hear and like 10

dudes, hell's angel style roll up in Harley Davidson's in the chappas and they're making ruckus. And I go outside, I'm like, what's all the ruckus? And then Leder gets off the bite, he big ass fucking guys got all leathers. And he turns around Mr. Bees's

decal on the back. Instantly, I'm like, this is not scary anymore. Because initially it was kind of scary Yeah Then you see the Mr. B. Cicahle you're like I'm in a Disney channel movie You draw a sharpie circle around those guys Like their ants and they're like

There you go It lights a flame The guy comes up to me He goes drink this And it's this water Yeah he just hands you one Yeah and I go Your bait ass drank it

And I try it And I go peanut butter And he goes And then and then Oh boy's Start listening up. And he goes, he said it tastes like peanut butter. And they all start cheering.

I, this is the part I heard up here far away. I heard cheering. This is crazy. I wasn't here. Second in command comes up. There's Zorro, if you will. He comes up. He's got a whole tray of peanut butter cups.

He gives me one. He goes, eat it. And I eat one. And I go, good. And then they go, he said good. And they cheer again. And then they go to leave. And then they break for a moment.

because he's like, wait, you're supposed to give him the peanut butter box. And so the guy comes back to me the peanut butter box. And he's like, you don't probably want to keep him in the sun. And I was like, yeah, that makes sense. And then he gets on his bike to leave. And my vest was right in front of him. So I go, if you want, I can join you sometime. And then he laughs.

And he comes to give me a handshake. And then they leave. Yeah, a lovely came upstairs pretty much right after that and said all that to me. I kind of just blankly stared at him. And I'm like, what are you talking? What are you talking about? Yeah. And I can say with certainty, this is ass. I think it's a marketing gimmick. Here's a thing, though. If I can describe to the listeners, what I think it tastes like.

It's like if you made a protein shake at home, you know when you make protein shake with water? It's peanut butter. Yeah. What do you think it was? I forgot he was allergic to water peanut butter because it wasn't peanut butter form. It's peanut butter flavor. Sure. So he can't probably have it. I tasted it. Did you? Wait, why does he look like that? I hope you choke. Why is he covered in poop?

He does look covered in poop. What the fuck? That's what happened today. No! No, that's what happened. That's what happened to Mr. Beast. Hank was the one spewing poop everywhere. He was trying to protect him.

Hey, please, no, no. Not like this. Stop. Hey. It's flying everywhere. I'm gonna murder your thirst, Jimmy. I'm gonna murder your thurs, Jimmy. Dude, we're gonna murder your, with my poop.

You're poop in your mouth, Jimmy. If I could describe really quickly what I think it tastes like. You know when you make like a protein shake, like a peanut chocolate protein shake with water as the base instead of milk. You do that and then you feed it through a Brita filter. And you drink what's on the other side. And you terminate it. Then you put it through a soda stream.

That is what that tastes like to a tea. Dude, what two things, one, it's peanut free. So you're good. I'm in the clear. And then two, they make this down the street. What do you mean? What? They make it? They make this down the street.

If you find the liquid deaths, manufacturing plant, you found a plant, you found us. People have found us. People on our slash place, people found the studio and then drew a mogi flower on it. They did do that. They did do that. Just don't come to the fucking warehouse. You're weird. And I was

like, guys, don't do that. Please. You get it. You want to be a part of it. They got a part of it. They put an Israel flag on Aden's house, too. They did. Yeah, zoomed into that. That was important. I didn't really know. Not my house. I was taking a while. It was that one. Every pixel is five minutes. Uh, guys

Congrats, wait, let me do it Congratulations is in order I will now accept my congratulations What did he do? What? What is slime? Do you know what he's talking about? Oh, oh, oh, uh, I know it.

I think I know it, so I'm gonna not say it But I'm confident, I know it Would you like to solve? I would like to solve. I would like to pass. I'm passing. Nick would like to solve. I'm passing to the guy.

Slime completed all Jokers in Bellatro. I got completion is plus plus in Bellotro. I don't know. What do you could, please? So, oh, thank you so much, you guys. For that organic, authentic brand experience. Could I ask what completion plus plus is?

So it, you, you beat every, you beat the game, sorry, you get gold steak. Sorry. Yeah. You're not usually like this. It's weird to see you like. It's hundreds of hours.

It's a lab mic. You don't need to. You don't need it. It's just on my shirt. Yeah. Do you know your hours played? I'm sorry. 368 hours on Steam,

which isn't that. Oh, that's not that bad at all? Weirdly small. Am I crazy? That's like less than half of what I would have guessed. Like a beatable game. I would have guessed like 900. Yes.

But yeah, basically you play every Joker, you complete a gold steak run with every Joker in the game. And it's really grindy. You can also just re-roll to get like good runs. So it's like, I didn't really do that. But, you know, I did it honorably. I was working on it for a while.

it took a while and when I did it I felt I was like walking around like the man all day I felt the man it was great I didn't think I would feel that way it was awesome did it say on steam I probably check right now does it say on Steam like what percentage of players complete this 0.8 oh okay it's actually kind of high but it's just very grindy it's not a very fun challenge but I did it was I beat balatro is there a notable joker a notable joker a notable joker a tough not to crack it's the ones that show up so my last joker was the stone joker and he only shows up when you have a stone card in your deck and it's an uncommon. So you have to first get a stone card in your deck and then roll till you find him and then beat

the game with him and he's not very good. So there's that and there's glass Joker is the same kind of thing. Okay. I'll also invisible Joker. That one's right. Of course. That would be a scary Batman movie. The invisible Joker. It was. Now, one of my last five. I was going to bring up the other exciting news. There's more news. This was we kind of covered. I think we covered. I think we covered it. Nick is joining the third. 30 club. Nick is 30 now. He is 30 now. We rounded it out. But you know what? You know

what? Because I was afraid, right? It's like, oh, I finally turn 30. I lose all my bargaining power and making fun of slime or whatever we're doing here. But then I realize that Aden's now left out of something. Yeah. And now you are just, you're more the lose. Now that I'm 30, you're the loser. I've been 30. So now when you're on a month. It's like weird.

Okay. This is a good thought experiment. The three of us are pedophiles. Aiden is not a pedophile. If you're not a pedophile, you're of not in the club. You're gonna get made fun of. Yeah. Yeah. Right. And that's what I was gonna say. So it's kind of like that. My feelings are of not being the pedophile for once are clashing with feeling excluded. We kind of want to continue to be the part of the club. So we here at the yard wanted to let you guys know how amazing we have been sleeping lately. And it's all due to Helix sleep mattresses. They're really good and they're really comfortable. I have one. I think a sleep quiz. 20 unique different mattresses.

You just take the sleep quiz. You find out which one best suits you. Yeah, there's sleep zones. You can customize your whole sleep. It's free shipping and seamless delivery in the U.S. And 120 night sleep trial. So it's a warranty. If you don't sleep well in 120 nights.

Yeah, I took the quiz. And the first one I got, I didn't like. But it was free shipping with the sleep trial. And I got another one, and I love it. I'm kind of worried about having to pay for, like, a delivery fee. Yeah. It's literally free delivery. It's free delivery.

If you, everyone at the same time, go to helixleep.com slash the yard for 20% off site wide. That's helixleaksleep.com slash the yard for 20% off site wide. Helixleep.com slash the yard. And this is the position that I like to sit in when I'm on it.

For audio listeners, it's not going to hit the same. No, audio listeners, you might want to go watch this one. So what else happened? Nick turned 30. I did one of the greatest gaming accomplishments of all time. I got one and done to get on Street Fighter. Yeah, I saw it. It's still cooking right now. I know the prodigy. I saw it on the prodigy.

I saw an ex this one. If Noah has adapted at all, which the top players should do, the correct answer is a no reply. Yeah, 100%. He's walking into the Lions day. Loving's white boy the summer. Yeah?

I think so. Off the back of streamer, you and streamer games, the two massively successful A little disgusting Renaissance. You've done it again. Let's not forget. You know how, what is that? It's my Chinese symbol. Oh my God.

Why sure. Megoran. Oh, it's interesting. Warshir. I like that. That GIF, I see it every day. Oh, in Chinese Ludwig, yeah, GIF is as big as streamer games.

It's bigger. It's funny. Everyone's like calls it Chinese Ludwig, but like, lore-wise, I'm specifically not Chinese. I'm from a made-up empire that loves China. and tries to like learn the culture.

I don't know. The way I've been walking around my house watching this video, laughing and saying this is what I would do with a million dollars. Yeah. This is what I, this is my, I would have done this. This is the Jack Ma.

When Jack Maugh made his own Kung Fu movie and just hired a bunch of people to make it for fun because he's a billionaire and he can do it. This is what I, respecting him. What if we had a billion dollars, we would have made this. Oh my God. They released my lord.

two. What's your lore? I'm from an all gay empire. Really? Yep. You're... No. Come on. Can you pull up the clip zipper? I believe it's on Mekon's Twitter. It's... It's... Again, to continue, this is just what we would have done. Yeah, Fuling is an all

gay... Don't joke with me. I'm not. You're joking. Tell me. This is fucking important to me. The Empire Fu Ling only allows gay men to reach the top... Fuling? Fuling. Fuling around? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Similar. Yeah. Yes. And I was an envoy and I went and I went to go see the Bisha herself. The Paws Empire. I was trying to think of the logistics of an all-K empire. It's hard. Well, yeah, I guess it's a lot of immigration.

We're going to need bidetes. Oh, yeah. And yuck, dude. Yuck. Only half of the population is allowed to eat ribs. I'm not over that. Yuck. All right here.

Mine was grosser. You bump that. bad. But... I'm a YouTuber from America. I play The Prince of Fuling, a made-up kingdom that I rule with an iron fist. And I hope you'll enjoy it. Come find me in the game. They cut it?

I thought it was in that clip. You didn't even watch the clip? No, I just saw the caption from me gone. You said it? Oh yeah, it's in our vlog. Yeah, I say pretty consistently it's an all gay empire. Right. There's a lot of takes that I didn't give them, and they were very adamanty,

adamant about getting the take they wanted. How much did they, how bad do they want Papa? Could you have done Neil Rutherford in that with the look? I would have done, no, no. They would have been like, huh, huh. Okay, can you try it maybe? And then they would have waited to get what they wanted. What was the energy like there?

Like, what was it like being on that set? It was freezing cold. Okay. It was outdoors night. It was. That shot was outdoors? February. That one was indoors.

But like the actual shoot was outside. It was February. is cool as a fuck and it was like a crew of like 30 all Chinese people just imagining you like talking head doing an interview about this shoot

like saying this to me like yeah it's really cold you know but I was method so everyone on set knew that if I got a little intense that that's just how I had to be to get there also also him saying a crew of 30 all Chinese yeah yeah man cross fade into shots

Important because the script was in Chinese and I wasn't doing it justice and it was slowing the shoot down and it was the last thing they were shooting that day. So everyone was trying to go home. Is it still like white paper courier new? Like is it still all the same? What do you mean? Like on the script. Do you have paper script? The script was. In Chinese? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But they wrote like the English phonetics of the words on big poster board beneath the camera. Famously a forgiving language.

You can kind of just figure it out. You mostly eyeball it. It's an eyeball. And here's a beautiful thing about the phonetic way to write it. They don't put the tone in. I don't know. I didn't know the tone. Is that what all your shots are like towards camera

is because you're reading off of a board? Well, that's part of like the styles that you're supposed to look at the camera. Yeah, the game is like a visual. Novel disc. But, but, yeah. Yeah, the only thing that sucked is that I didn't know Chinese. Yeah.

Did people there kind of expect that you would be better at speaking Chinese? Or were they just frustrated in general that you'd suck, but they knew you would suck? I think they expected me to be better. Yeah, okay. I think they weren't prepared for someone who didn't know how to speak Chinese because the director at one point goes, can you stop reading and look at the camera? because you have to look at the camera. And I go, well, I need to read to see the line.

She's like, okay, well, can you, while reading, look at the camera? And I go, that's just not how it works. That's hard. You have to choose. Wow. Am I crazy? Like, why would they expect that? You hadn't even gone on tip to tip yet.

No. Well, I think it's because the other envoys all spoke pretty, like, decent Chinese. Well, they assumed he had respect. Weren't the other envoys Chinese in the game? No, no, no, no. No, there was a, I believe one or two might have been, but one was a Korean, creator. Okay. Who went kind of crazy. Okay. But also

they lucked out because, you know, a couple also had like a physical performance. You don't need Chinese there. Well, that's what you might think. They're doing a fan dance. I can do a pretty Chinese physical performance if you need me. Okay. And do we need a bidet for that? Yeah. You will at some point. It depends on what. We're going to hose him down. We're going to hose

him down. But anyway, it ended up with like a new strap forming where one of the guys would read the line. and I would repeat the line. Yeah. So he'd be like, Oh. I ran fong. Dine Renfong,

and I would say that back. Were you better at that? Yeah, but unless the line got long. When he gets long, it's tough. And then I'd be like, and it really wasn't synced up. Well, how did it turn out in the game? Is it indiscernible from mainland Chinese?

Indiscernible. I love that. It genuinely comes across like they had hired a fluent Chinese speaker to do the role. Wow. I'm glad I wore this shirt today. Yeah. No, it's in discern. You're like, you look at it.

Some of the lines are really good. Yeah? Really good. Look at you. No, that's, it actually turned out fine. And you had to play the whole game on stream. The only part that, yeah, and I'm getting some shit in China. No.

They're mad at me in China. They're so fickle. They're fickle. I thought they liked you. Gentle, emotionally intelligent Ludwig. Yeah. I can't believe they're mad at you, bro, because you fucking performed your heart.

Because they were so kind and reasonable to us. You know what? Sometimes it flips. Sometimes it flips. And now I got what you guys got. Because I didn't like the, I only liked one of the love interests. And there's two love interests.

There's Li Tai and Li Jir. And I like Li Tai. But he's not the historical route. He's not the canon route. I see. He's like this old universe, bad boy. Wait, your character's gay then. Your character's gay then.

No, no, no, my character doesn't get to play. This is, you play the Empress. And so anyway, I like the Leeds High Route, and I'm glazing it, but it's a fake, it's not a real ending. It's a side plot, B plot. Okay. You can't beat the game with this route. Why are they mad?

Because then I played the main route, because I need to play that to unlock my scene. You're talking about your play-through, not your character. Yes, I understand. Yeah, I'm confused, but I'm not just the play-through. And so I play the main route, but I'm hemming and hawing. Because the fucking side route with, Lee Tai, it takes I'm not shedding you six hours for one kiss. And you get

one kiss and then it ends. Lead juror's second scene you're having sex. No way. You're pregnant by scene three. Wow. You the player are pregnant. You the player. You the empress. And I'm like, what the fuck is this? How the fuck does he get it? You know, 500,000 or backshots

from lead you're? So I'm having a hauling. Can you go to like Chinese Planned Parenthood? With it? Do they do abortions? I don't know. That was a big plot. In China?

That was a big plot was that one of the other dowagers tried to poison me with abortion medication. I think, and then she also gave me, like, earrings that would make me weak. Ah! You hate when the dowager gives you jewels like that. Yes, they made me weak. It's so pathetic. But anyway, they got mad because I wasn't glazing leisure enough. And they were like, he doesn't respect.

juror. Wow. So they do do abortions in China? They did in the Tang Dynasty. I don't know about now. Presumably yes. Wow. Yeah. Is it? We don't do them here. We don't fucking do them here. You're going to worry about damn child. We don't do them. I would argue they were

famously doing them for a few recent decades. Right. The whole thing. Yeah. I forgot about that. Highest recording abortion rates globally. Yeah, because of the one child policy. Yeah. What can you do? What can you do?

Abortion is legal. They got better abortion rights than us. What can you do? Dude, yesterday, I saw, it wasn't yesterday. One of the days I was driving back from here, you know, the 7-Eleven, I saw a guy actually beating off, a homeless guy. Oh, like, have you ever seen that in real life? I've, it's the first time, I, I, and it made me think, I've never seen a man masturbating in real life ever until this moment. Really?

Yeah. You never seen Aiden? No. I never catch him. And I try. And Lord knows he does it in this office. Dude, I was doing it.

I was doing it. And then popping it open. Ah, okay. Damn it on your phone again. I was doing crazy place in the old house. At the old house?

Really. Laundre. Was it crazy? No. Andreu. You jacked off in the laundry. The laundry. With the Obama cut out?

The one. Me, Obama and the laundry. The one in front of the garage. Huh? The, in front of the garage? Wow. In there?

Were you sitting on the dryer? Cause it up to the yard? Cause it up to the yard. Did you turn the dryer on? Did you sit on the dryer and turn the dryer on? Yeah. I'm like, you know, I got one hand here. I got one hand kind of here.

He wanted to quiver from the base. What's that one doing? Is it balls or butt? I'm playing with my tank a little bit. You're teeth. I've never done that. That's advanced, that's advanced goons. I'll say this, this homeless guy was not doing that, but he's

He rolls it down. So left hand. He was turned around and he's beating off into a bush, but he's on the sidewalk. walk. It's very public. Yeah. And I just see him kind of cranking it. And this guy next to me in my car,

so he's in the other lane, and he goes, like screams, like, hey! And I thought he's screaming at me and was so loud, was terrified. And I turned, and he's looking pretty much at me, but he's not, because he's looking at the guy beating off. I look, that's when I noticed him. He's like, quit fucking doing that.

Quit fucking doing that. He's like yelling at this guy. Just beating off. He does not care. That's just going to make this more exciting. I can only imagine. Because that doesn't happen every day. It was crazy. That's crazy. And then yeah, and I just drove

thinking about a bunch. Zipper 3 has been a metro rider the past few months. Metro! She's been, and so she always has stories from what's going on in the metro. And she said last week,

if she's on the escalator out of the station, and she is standing like above this guy. And she looks back and the dude, it's just looking up at her, pants down,

peeing up. onto the escalator. Oh, yeah. So, like, it's not reaching her because she has the high ground. Right. Thank God. But she's looking down

at the manager's look at her piss and arc onto the escalator between them as they go up. She's probably making the same face that she makes when, like, she's funny. She does his face.

She does it a lot. She's like, ew. But it'll be, like, over minor stuff. Yeah, it'll be over, like, a Pomeranian walking line. Yeah. And this is, And this is the same, it's the same reaction.

She hits the same beat for all of these things. Yeah, up an escalator. That's creative. I know. That's what I was thinking, because it's bound to come back at you. Also, it's,

I feel like that's an impressive control. It would be hard for me to start peeing. Right. I feel like I would finish an escalator ride and have to go down and then like... Because the pee shyness or... Yeah, just like,

I don't think the pee would come out so naturally, A in that position, like arcing, like pointing up. I don't be pointing up a lot. I got, you know, When I'm in a urinal, it takes a little while for me sometimes. It's brave what that man did.

I would argue it's brave. On the escalator. Yeah, I agree. Dude, okay, streamer games. What's your favorite moment from streamer games? I'll go first. My favorite moment, my favorite 18-T Red Bull moment from streaming games? What's your favorite brand experience moment?

I'll go first. Your favorite brand-integrated moment at streamer games. And then maybe your normal favorite. Okay, I said I'll go first. It's the third time I'll say it. So I'll go first. Just go. Hold on.

Is there a brand? Oh, I saw a man get shot in the face. Yeah? Yeah, there was a man where we were leaving the Joe He Sishi concert, and he was shot through the face. What are you talking about? With a bullet. I don't know what's confusing.

Are you dumb or death? So you saw a guy die. This is confusing. Okay. You said that he'd been, like you saw him get shot in the face. That was the implication. I saw a man who was shot in the face. in the past and has survived and is now at the concert.

Let me change it again. I didn't see the man. Okay. I was walking with Qudy, leaving the Joe He Sishi concert. That actually makes it more. Joe's 75. It's my fourth time seeing him.

I went with Michael and Lily. Went great. Then we leave. Hollywood Bowl has like an Uber pickup. Cuddy goes, let's walk a little further and Uber further away. I go, okay. It is a mess.

She's right. She's right for that. She's right for this. So we walk up the street, like a block away. And then I see this guy, and it's a little dark. And I'm zoned out. And I'm just like, and to me, he's just screaming. But I'm not really listening.

What I realized afterwards, when Qudy talks to me, he's screaming, I got shot in the face. Whoa. And Qudy's like, turns to me, she goes, that guy got, was shot through the face. I think so. Because she saw him. She's like, there was blood and a bullet, like, through, I think, like, the neck here. Unreliable narrator.

It's possible. Who's the unreliable narrator? I think we know who I'm talking about being the unreliable narrator. Why is cutie an unreliable narrator? I think she's an unreliable narrator about things like this. Yeah, I'm saying through your work. Because I think sometimes she sees horror ghosts in the walls. Hmm.

And then she'll say, that man was shot in the face. And maybe I don't believe it. I don't believe her. We get a notification on the citizen app that a man, had been shot in the face. Unbelievable. Oh my God. On the corner.

O'Del Iowa narrator. And part two. Five police cars. She has the app. Comes zooming by as we sit waiting for the Uber. He called the... Shutting down the street

because a man had been shot. Shot in the face. In the face? Really? Yeah. Confirmed. Damn.

I guess we're not sure yet. Did we talk to the man? No, no, no. I just heard him scream. I just heard the scream. Well, here's what happens. when I hear a scream on the street is I move cutie to the opposite side. And I put myself between the scream and her.

And then I just focus on getting to where we're trying to go. Yeah. So I was just so know. You know, focus on disarming? I'm, I'm ready to disarm if I'm being attacked, but I'm not going to disarm someone who's just carrying a gun. I think a preemptive disarm is always in order.

Why? You have to preemptively disarm. Otherwise, you put this just a patriot carrying a gun. Then the Patriot themselves will, know a counter disarmatee the Patriot counter disarming technique. They will pari... The counter disarm technique is... Br-Roo! And they fucking lighten up. Patriot knows a Patriot

would be a Patriot. I did not. So this was my... You want to know my favorite moment? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Kelby comes up to me, and he's like, so he did the alien wear thing, and I'm going to use his real voice. You want to use this, I'm going to talk like how he talks. He did the alien wear thing.

And I love it. Talk like how he the viewers are against you. No, they're not. Yes, they are. Because Luis, do you remember Louise? Yeah, I remember Luis. He was your first 1v1 and Luis, unfortunately failed

because you rigged games to win and look cool and strong in front of people, but he did win a big monitor anyway. He goes, Kelby is the person that escorted Louise back to the stands. Luis actually posted on Reddit, picture with Kelby. He's like, got a picture with Kelby.

Loki, his voice is like that, which is awesome. But something else happened. while Calby was escorting Luis the loser slash winner of the Alienware 1v1, someone in the crowd said, that cock sucker Calby?

No. Oh my God. No, no. I'm in the break room downstairs in between because I was commentating the lovely streamer games, America Pete was awesome. And I come down and he's like, I'm not sure if I want to tell you this, and then he told me this story. And he was laughing

the whole time. I would have kicked that. personnel. He loves the attention. Are we really good ignored that we put Kelby at the start of an episode in all the comments. All the comments are calling you a psychopath. Right. Because he was on his best behavior. You know what else is funny? He called himself cock-sucker Kelby in that clip and then got called it by someone anonymously in the crowd. And then he tried to, he tried. Cog-sucker aside. Not for me, bro. I don't put that aside. In my empire, that's like the pre-workers it's to get in. Yeah, he's the hand

of the king. I got no problem with that. Yeah, he told me that and he's like, I just, I really have to respect the way that you say things and they stick. I can't deny that. I actually think that's one of your best traits. Yeah. All right.

Is that you have a way of coining term and phrases. Best. It's dangerous. Yeah, you do. There's an element of danger to it. The strength and longevity of all right, man. It's literally just like Donald Trump. It's not like that. Oh, it might be a little bit like that. It's the same power. But does he, he doesn't have any lasting tics these days. He's kind of falling off.

He has, he has forever warped the way anyone says China here. Yeah. He's warped China forever. And, and brother, I was calling him sleepy Joe. And I voted for him. Well, he looked tired. He did look tired. He did look tired. I wonder which ones he makes up because Meatball Ron. Seems too clever. He has to have a team. Yeah. But at the same time,

he became famous, presumably without a team. Yeah, because he just said Lion Ted. I'm like, you know what? That makes sense. He's just always been that guy.

But it was funny. On the subject of all right, man, I was going through my old streams because when I got banned on Twitch, I thought they deleted them all, but they just unpublished them. So it's actually, they're still on there.

Saved. Yeah, they're saved. And I go, and I watched an old, because I was trying to play every Sega Saturn game. I made like 109. And I'm in it. and I'm a terrible streamer at the time.

I'm a better streamer now, maybe. But at the time, I like, don't talk to chat. Everything I say, I just like, I don't read out loud. It's very interesting. But I say, all right, man, once every 10 minutes. This is from 2020. Yeah, we lived it. Yeah.

You're telling us, like, once every 10 minutes is a, is a calm day. Yeah, I was looking at it. Like, wow, this really was the way it was. You were a storm. It was, you'd hear stomps coming down the stairs. All right, all right. It was genuinely like how they show Pokemon. Kitty man.

You know, that stuck. Because I have the cats at home now, and I'm saying it all the time again. How do you like being cat bad? It's fucking back, dude. How are you like being cat dad? I kind of love it so far. However, there was an incident on the second night.

And maybe, and I started to feel like maybe two times is too many. Maybe this is a reflection on me. Because the little kitty, we're trying to put them to bed and, like, put them back in the, bathroom because you're supposed to like keep them in like a smaller space at the beginning right so he's scared he doesn't really want to be picked up or moved and they've both took a de-warmer pill earlier in the day and i biza yeah yeah and when i'm trying to pull him out from under the couch i he sprits out of my hands and i i smell something so bad and i i'm trying to pull him out of the couch i he sprints out of my hands and i i i

smell something so bad. And I realized that he's left a little like spot a shit on the carpet but it's like all liquid. And then I managed to catch him like a few minutes later and I realized Heng Green's here.

And I... Science. Is that Hanks poop? Is that peanut butter liquid death? And I started banging on the walls. I say, hey! Come out! He just crawls out of your closet.

Coughing. Hank, you're supposed to be in the hospital with those kids. What are you doing here? I spent $2,000 with the tokens in that bathroom. I used all the water in the county. And when I pick up, when I pick up Little Cat, he has, his, his tail and his ass are just, like, caked in liquid poop now. Because he's dragged everywhere.

I should have called the drink. Liquid poop. Liquid poop. if he's supposed to liquid poop. I would buy I would buy liquid poop can I say that? They sell liquid poop. They sell their Super Bowl, I love trying to liquid poop. I fucking

love liquid. They don't sell liquid death poop, but they sell liquid poop. Kind of a deep call back to carbonated poop water. Carbonated poop water is old. It's an old one. I pull him, I realize that he's not, you know, he's settling in the space and already we have

to give this guy bath. Because you can't no, he's going to be getting poop everywhere. And he's already scared. I don't want to do this. So I go put on these like big, thick leather gloves. So because he scratches and bites like when he's like really upset, right? And I take him into the bathroom. I have like a walking sort of shower.

And I turn on. I'm holding him in one hand. And I turn on like the little handle with the other. And I'm going to like start spraying him. And I'm trying to like wash his bottom. As soon as the water hits him, he freaks out. and he's biting and scratching me and I try to pick him up,

like catch him on the way down, but I kind of like grab his like back legs and that makes him freak out more. And he, he's hissing and spitting and he jumps in the air, but as he jumps, a stream of poof starts coming out of his ass. And then he runs out of the shower. The tub girl is what I'm getting in my head.

And because he's, and because little cat tub girl is running around the, room looking for a place to escape to, but it's a fucking bathroom. There's nowhere to go. He's, he's leaving this trail up and down the wall of the bathroom, which is all

white, and it's just tattered everywhere, and he eventually settles under the sink. And he's doing the thing where, I've never seen a cat do this, like, you know in an animated movie when a cat's really scared, they stand like, they have all their feet in the same spot, and their

back is arched, and like, almost like they're like a heart shape. And all of his hair is standing on end and he's he's like hissing and meowing really angry he's making a sound that I've never heard him make before and as he's doing this his ass is kind of like raised because of how arched his body is and there's just like a liquid fondue like coming out of him still he's still pooping after like 30 seconds and it's just leaking out and I scream I scream in the room I'm like help help help

and I and then she comes in she comes in and she opens the door like it's like the fucking like psycho and she's looking on the inside of the bathroom she's like what happened and I

I pick him up and I managed to catch him again he's still biting me and she spends like the next 30 minutes like cleaning up all of the poop off the walls while I give him his first bath which he still hates. I feel so bad because after like, after like the next five minutes of like fighting,

he gives up and he kind of goes like, I don't know if it's like overload, but he just kind of goes limp. Yeah. And then she starts freaking out and she's like, oh my God, oh my God. Is he dead? Did he die? And I'm like, no, shut up. Shut up. She starts pooping all the walls. Because I'm so fucking stressed. And I'm thinking about how I lived all of this with Swift, five years ago. I just the worst pet owner ever. Dude, I can't wait for you having a kid, bro. Oh my God. Shut up. Shut

up. We just need to put a diaper on it. We just need to hose. We just need to hose in. Yeah. Do you, can you, so your shower doesn't close? Uh, no, no. It's like open to the room. That's tough because that's what makes it really easy. Because sometimes Durs will just diarrhea all over his ass. Yeah. I've seen that. And then I'll have to lock him

in the shower. And then I turn the water. And then I let I just let the water touch the, feet and Ders nose like oh fuck yeah and there's no getting out of this shit and Ders just goes to the fucking glass and starts pawing at it I'm like

bro you know what I do I'm gonna hit you with it when you scraped all the poop off the wall did it leave like a henna tattoo behind like a stain dude it sounds like the old episode of South Park where like Mr. Henke would be bouncing around somewhere and get poop all over the place

it was under the sink where there was the most it did leave that you should have to scrub it for so long. You should paint over like people get like someone's like signature tattooed on them. You should like paint over it as like a symbol.

It's like these weird videos where someone like cuts a hole into a table and then puts a cucumber in there and then like beautifully covers it up. Sunflower see. Sanding them down. Dude we lost that. AI took that away from us. Yeah, that was a beautiful moment. Those used to be the real videos. And that's weird because AI

would be so good at making those. Yeah, but AI just makes such crazier shit. Yeah. Yeah, AI makes like a girl at the Brazilian soccer game and there's fucking all this fucking dachio cheese coming out of her mouth. He's at Mario Lopez video? Yeah, that was fucking crazy. It is interesting that the president right now is just doing that,

but for himself. Like, he's just making himself into Spider-Man and going, this is fucking awesome. It's so crazy, bro. I think someone just shows in the video that's fucking great. Yeah, someone else is doing it for him. And he's like, wow, I'm Spider-Man? This is amazing.

And then they post it. Guys, I went to the Magic Castle for my birthday, like I've always wanted to do. And I signed up for the Magic Box, the subscription model they have there. What do you get out of Magic Box? You get one more video on your reel every week of like magic reels of magic tricks. Like an algorithm. Yeah, so it's pretty good value because I love getting videos on my timeline. 100 bucks a week.

And you just get reels, like one more. Because you're paying for content. Yeah. Magic. Of course. Nick, are you getting 100 or giving a hundred? I'm giving 100. A week.

And I get a video added in my reel. And Magic Castle, it's like, it's like a pretty good. $400 a month. I'm going to be honest with you. I think you need to cancel this like right now. And if I'm guessing that you signed up for this, I think you're, you have a bunch of subscriptions other than this.

But they asked me to give them every credit card I have so they could make one subscription per credit card. Okay, okay, okay, okay. You're going to need, it's called Rocket Money. We've talked about it before. We've actually talked about it. You might even have it. your phone. It's weird. It is weird. I feel like... I know you have it on your phone. I've seen it.

Narratively, I think I'm a different guy for this bit. So I don't know if I have it on my phone. No, no, you're the same guy the whole time that's a linear story. Rocket Money is a personal finance that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions or your wanted ones. Monitors your spending and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. You're giving up $400 a month to someone who scammed. This is a wanted subscription, so I think I'll keep it. Nick, I made $5,000 in one year. How? I've literally been canceling subscriptions. that I don't want, sometimes even that I do want. Just to save some money

in a year. Oh, maybe I should get rid of the magic subscription. Yeah, you get them all in one place. You can see all the things that you have accidentally or not accidentally thing. It's all in one place. It gives you a dashboard, a clear view of your accounts. But the Magic Castle's invite only. I don't know how to go back in and cancel it myself. I think if someone says that it's

invite only, they're just saying that. I think what's cool about Rocket Money is they'll cancel it for you oftentimes. And in Magic Castle's case, I heard they send a guy there. They send a guy? Yeah, like a Rocket Money employee goes to Magic Cancel.

They send a guy with an anti-magic teddy bar. And all it does is it stops magic in the area. Yeah. And it more is like, it looks like a big horn. It's very safe. It's a very safe teddy bar. Anyway, let Rocket Money help you reach your financial list faster. Try for $0.000 at RocketMoney.com slash the yard.

That's right. RocketMoney.com slash the yard to send the Rocket Money man to use his safe horn and change your life forever. Rocket money man blowing holes through all the magic guys using violence to solve the problem for the customer Oh man back to the episode So how is Mama Cat?

She's amazing She's amazing. She's amazing. She's a sweetie. Yes. She's, I immediately, I feel like my life has changed because she's just such a rider die. And Liljit sucks. No, Lil' Jat's actually settling

in. The little just it's evening out. What do mama cats do when there's no humans involved when baby cats pooping all over the walls? I don't know if baby cat get would have gotten that scared I guess. Oh, because you're the big giant chasing around. Because I'm the big giant chasing it. Also, they don't care about, I'm the cyclops. They don't care about the mama cat's not worried about scrubbing out the poop. No, actually that's not true. She licks his ass all the time. Yeah, yeah, but she don't lick the wall. Nice. No, no, no. She lets the poof stand the wall. dignity. I hate to say it in, but I think your chance to bond with this cat has gone out the window.

Yeah. And it's getting better. I don't know, man. You're raising a dark chow. Yes, you're raising a dark chow and it'll never be the same because you threw it against the wall a bunch. I didn't throw him. You know what I liked when you could bring the gorillas and then make the gorillas like make out with the chow? Yeah, they go like this hug and is shaking. It's so weird.

The lions. You know, we do that. Yeah, yeah. In Sonic Adventure Battle, too, you bring home animals and then the animals are all fucking running train on your child. You can bring the skill capsules that level their fucking dexterity and shit, or you can bring them animals which give them different qualities.

The Chow Garden is un irreversible but damage to like indie devs. They're like so many indie devs start, they're like, fucking I want to make the fucking Chow Garden. Yeah, I just want to make it again. I just want to make the fucking Chow Garden. And it's never great. Yeah, the old Sega devs are just like, we don't, we don't know how. We forgot. We forgot. We forgot how. It was a science.

I've never seen the garden. What? You never see a Chow garden? from Sonic Adventure Battle Battle? Yeah. You just look at footage of the Chow Garden. There's also the school.

I never played it. There's all these side areas of the Chow Garden. I loved racing them. Yeah, there's racing. There's boxing, if I remember. Is it the Chow's box? This is a...

So that tunnel in the background in, if you go through it, so like this is where you like raise and level your Chow's, but if you go through that tunnel back there, you can battle them. And then behind tails to the left, camera looks left, hopefully right.

Is this a mod? That thing back there, this is a mod. That thing back there, um... They shouldn't look like knuckles like that. You can get rid of your chow's. You can abort them eight years in their life. Oh, China's style.

It shows you a picture. It shows you a picture of a chow with a stick and bindle. And it's like, are you sure you want me to go? You look up a chow garden without this, like, these modded chows? Because... I don't know if they're... Because that one had one of every character from the game. Oh.

Which was not the case. I don't like when you mod the chows. I don't like when you mod the Nintendo. I didn't do it. You shouldn't mod any Nintendo platform at all. No? What else have it as? Shimer Wains was so funny, bro.

Oh, well, I did ask Gladwick like three days before. Yeah, see, oh, so you just put the animal close to them and they kind of kissed. I think in Sonic Adventure one, they like actually touched. Maybe I just made that up in my head. I think that's how you visualize it. It's the vantage point.

If you turn camera and look straight on, it looks like they're a lot closer. But yeah, now you're, giving your chow stats with the bunny. The chow's name is jebus. They're exploiting a glitch here that you can pick it up right after they're done with it and re-give it to them. Yes, because usually it spends the animal, right?

Me on my action replay, giving my Pokemon rare candies over and over again. I asked Ludwig like three days before I was like, hey, can I commentate streamer games? Because I saw Pete was doing it. Yeah, yeah. And I said, I need his cock. You need Pete? Well, I said, I just said that to Ludwig. Okay.

And then Ludwig said, yes, but Pete is not interested in being called Chomo Pete in front of 200,000 people. And I said, did he say that? And then Ludwig said, yes. And I said, totally fine. And so this goes back to when I say things, they tend to stick. Yeah. And this is sort of a PSA to anyone listening on the yard. Pete doesn't really like being called that. He's a father. Here's a PSA. If you're at an event in person that we're running, don't call Kelby, Cock Sucker, Kelby. Don't do that. Some things you can say. Some nicknames are fine.

Don't do that one. It's up to you to distinguish the nuance here. For sure. But I won't even say it myself. Just Pete. Let's leave it at peace. Let's just call Pete. It's cleaner.

I think if you're hip to that, I think it should be known, you know, because he's a father. And I was on my best behavior. And I did a great job. And let me think I did a great job. Everyone did a great job. I haven't listened back.

Did you think he did a great job? I'll find out. I'll find out. So it's content. It's contentious. It's not contentious because it's just unknown. It's like,

what's your view of the Odyssey? It's not a contention. I don't know. I have yet to see it. I think I did so good. We were so happy that QD one, Simon says, because QD kept coming over to us.

She would like lose a game and she'd come over to our group and she'd be like, I'm fucking dog shit. I'd be like, no. No, you're great. I'm a little cow. She's like, I don't know

I kick of the soccer ball. You help me. And I'm like, yeah, of course. I'm like, just like, do it like this. And she'd go and she'd do kind of a brutal kick. And I'm like, but you're going to nail it when it's time. And then she'd come over our group. Like, oh, my God, fucking amazing.

Like, she'd walk away. We'd be like, oh, she's doomed. Like, this is going to be really bad. She's going to slip on a banana peel. And then she won Simon says. I was like, oh, she can fail the rest of the day. Yeah. Yeah, as long as you get your one win.

No, most people got like one moment with the exception of the UK and basically all of USA. UK was ass. UK was ass. Even USA was ass. USA was pretty ass. You can't. draft a hemophilia to compete in any sort of games.

You can't do it. I don't know why Connor choked because he choked at bow and arrow. Is he good at arch? Is he supposed to be good at that? He's decent at arched. He's arched. Really? He's arched. Yeah. That's interesting. Like I've arched. Like I'm good at archery.

Okay. I don't think you're good at archery. You're good at archery. You're doing it. If you're better, yeah. Okay. Second grader destroys first grader in awesome competition at school. But I'm saying in streamer games. they're all first craters. Yeah.

Would you call yourself good then? I would say... I'm contending that. I'm saying you call yourself good? I think that's bastardizing the sport of arch. I would say I would have one archery if I competed. Was that a regulation PK line? 12 meters or 12 yards out.

It seems so far away. I think maybe it just feels farther because you don't have like the box to sort of contextualize the dot. But no, it's 12 yards out or 11. meters, which we measure just with like the football hash. What's all this talk? What's all? I don't know.

I don't hear talk. Okay. I saw your post. What's talk about? I saw your post. He's Clay. He's going to be on Koi. He's a stinky little guy right now.

He's implying that he might want to do this for quite a bit longer. He's being stinky. I can smell it. He's reveling in the victory of the event. And he's like, he comes home and he watched a movie about dancing. And now he's like, I'm going to be a dancer. And then in a week, he's not going to be a dancer. He's not going to be back to normal.

Well, this is before Schumer Games. The streamer games is going great. What's going on with you? Yeah, now Kelby's threatening to quit. And I'm on his ass. I said, Kelby, I'll cancel you. Yeah.

Kelby is not threatening to quit. Kelby is saying he's... Kelby, we'll drop Kelby. It'll just be a talk sucker. Kelby is planning to quit on the timeline that he gave you when he started the job. Yeah, and I have a gun in his fucking head. And I said, Kelby, don't make me do it.

What do you mean? I'll pull the trigger. He's trapped here? I'll pull the trigger. He is trapped. I do have a transcript from a meeting from last year that would bury him. Interesting.

And Ludwig. I'm the talented Mr. Ripley. And Kelby's my beautiful Italian boy. So what is this? What is this mean? What does this mean? You want to be the money man for years to come now? Because I thought we were winding down.

I thought you were going to Northern Line, Ludwig. I'm not winding down. I don't think I'll ever go to Northern Line. I think he just got started. I think he's just getting started We're just getting started Okay You got two cats

All right Yeah I have a role in a Chinese Cinematic Film video game I'm 30 He's 30 He just fucking beat Bellotro forever I would say I'm kind of done

That's it I don't Belatra was it Yeah I finished it everything It's a mountain top I'm done With street fighter I still have to hit

1600 with Goki Goki Is my goal. Quite done. Like hit or like, he's getting his, he's getting his 1600 with the Gogi. Did we talk about this on the show?

I don't want to do it before, because the rank system right now is early in the rank system, and it's Mickey Mouse. I'm waiting for it to marinate. Okay? You want to marry it to curdle. So you're trying to make the 1600 more legitimate

in your mind. Yes, because if you hit Cicterter now, you're fighting plumbers. And I don't want to kill plumbers with Goki. Is that because beginning of season is like a bunch of players, so it's a lot of bad players too? Yeah.

Like the highest MR right now is like not close to highest him are from a week ago. Oh, I may have ruined your life without you knowing. I'm sorry. I hit up shake drizzle about three weeks ago. I was just like crazy idea. We both reinstall league and we play a casual. Just for fun.

We go Bot Lane. I'll be your support. You be 82. And he was like, dude, I was just sitting on the couch thinking about what if I reinstalled League of Legends. And I was like, dude, doesn't it sound fun? Casual? No, right.

Well, let's not do that. And he was like, and we uninstall after? And we uninstall after. And I'm like And I'm like dude It'll be great We play We have a blast

We're crushing Bot Lane We're having We're having such fun games The next day You know I'm not leagues up You know It's like I didn't click

The uninstall button Necessarily Right I didn't click the uninstall button necessarily But in my mind I'm like I don't know

I'm playing with shaking You left the pipe On the countertop I got a little message From shake drizzle He goes Eyes emoji What if we go

Bot Lane again This is And I'm like well we can just uninstall we can uninstall tomorrow because it's been about 24 hours since the first game right so we play again

electric again we believe it electric again play some league electric what's up on install league can we talk about it what is there to talk about I think I can

I can manage it this time oh like a modern amount a moderate a moderate amount. Yesterday was my day off, but otherwise I've been good. How was yesterday? I played all day.

Really? What? If we looked up your op.g. How many games would it show Shake? It could be like 20. I lost most of them too. 20 games? Were they ranked? Zipper, shake drizzle, N-A-1. Don't, you know, I just told you. You don't have to look it up. Did you play today? They were ranked.

No, no, no. I'm here. I'm at work. You went to bed at 3 a.m. Dude, this is like 20 games in a row. So much NASIS. Oh my God. Yeah, he's doing... I'm learning a new hero. He's doing NASIS.

You're learning a new... Do you feel guilty at all, Nick? Dude, this is crazy. Jake, Jake, I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't.

I don't. I don't. You were so good, bro. You had such an awesome life. A work-life balance. Love fucking interest, hobbies. You're doing PT. Don't lose it, bro.

Think about your family and friends. Think about your girlfriend. She loves you. I know. Well, I was gonna, she's gonna play with me, I think. No. Oh, God. The crack is gonna keep me away from my girlfriend. I'll have heard you crack too. It's like, what am I supposed to do? I get excited when Jesse and Jane, like, got back together and breaking bad? Stop this. We know how that ended.

Old, old, Auburn Whitman. I told Nick, this is like taking an alcoholic to a bar and then leaving him alone because he was just like, actually, I don't feel like playing today. And that's what happened. Dude, you're disgusting. You're just hang out here. Oh, here's a bunch of cash, by the way. You're discussing pig, Nick. Oh, my God.

You're disgusting pig. Jake Drizzle will message me at like 1 a.m. Go? And if I'm like, nah, it's 1 a.m. He's like, wow. That's, you know he does? He talks to me like, he talks to me like, like, I'm, like, he's my, like, he's my daddy. Like, he'll send me a gift that's just like the guy in the button up with the tie going like this.

Like, you know. I'll reply like, yes, yes, I'll be there at a moment. He says, you'll be here now. We were playing, dude, I was in some bad. We were playing, and all I want to do is go support and play with him in Bot Lane and have fun because we're like looking at the same stuff. You know, I don't want to be the other side of the map. I don't want to like really play the game.

And Mike was like, oh, can I jump into your guys' game? And I'm like, of course, I'm playing support. Shakespeare's playing ADC. And it was kind of like an awkward setup. And I was like, oh, I can just go mid if that makes things easier. Jake plays one game with Mike and bot, and shakes having like triple the fun. And like, it is like, oh my God, Mike, we're electric. And next game, it's like, yeah, Mike, Mike, stay Lulu.

Let's like do that again. And I'm like, oh, I'm like, okay, shit. You know, so you want me to be men? And she's like, oh, well, it's not like that. And I'm like, well, it's like, it's like you don't want to play with me and bot. And Mike's like, I can go. And I'm like, no stay. No stay.

It's like the dinner party office. episode. And so very quickly, I was just, I was just delegated to like being Vex mid. And I would, I would do something cool and shake would say nothing. I'd do something bad. And shake would be like, it's not supposed to alt there. You're supposed to wait for the blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, well, you told me that we're like fighting like a couple in front of Mike.

What have you done, bro? Because he messaged me. I immediately stopped playing with Jake. I like immediately stop playing. He messaged me. And he was like, he was like, hey, bro. come play League of Legends with me and shake. Dude, what is, what happened to you?

I said, you must be out your fat ass mind. And I said, no, I'm not going to do that. And then I didn't. And then all this shit happens. Screen print shirts or something. No, it was funny because, well, I was actually, that's why I said no to shake. But I played league on a day where like,

I got so much done. Like, it was so productive all day. And I had like a, like a, things I was putting off forever. I was just doing that day. And I was just like, oh, I feel so good. I should reward myself as like, that's complete bullshit. Jennifer, can you please count? Because I couldn't do it.

But you just count and then show us the number of how many games he has played Shake in the past 24 hour. 24 hours. 27 in two days. Oh my God. That's more than I was playing when I was streaming. Me and Shake never played more than like four. You are. You're disgusting.

That's really bad. So I want to say sorry. You know that he's a weak, feeble mind. Because I don't care what happens to Shake, but I did come into. the office today and there's just like on top of his desk taking up the entire desk an unplugged like DJ set up like a turntable

and I was just like oh he's never editing again 21 in the 21 yesterday I think he's in 24 hours ago I don't want to apologize to you though I don't want that effect on you you know dude and he already he had his he had some drama of streamer games too what because he put a drop

into the musical chairs he did musical chairs he used the DJ but I was like what the fuck are I was saying that to Pete, we were just watching it. I was like, I know what I think did that. He cuts it before the drop. He cut it after the drop so the drop would hit and it'd be like, do do do do do.

And everyone would sit. And then he goes, drop the bass. And everyone would be like, no. That's funny. It's evil, bro. He did it twice. Putting a drop in musical chairs is one of the, it's like, I would never think of that, but it's so funny.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Apparently, uh, sell bit is a, he's a huge massive streamer. Yeah. I didn't know that. So when I called him

Celibate, because it sounds similar and made a joke about that, I got a lot of tweets at me in Portuguese. And I didn't really know what's going on. And they weren't saying, come to Brazil. Yeah. Well, they might have been different.

Maybe they were saying, come to fucking Brazil right fucking now. I talked to him a little bit after the event. He came up to me and was like, hey man, I just want to say, like, congratulations on this event, like really good work. And I was looking at him, like, so confused. because I'm like, oh, I'm, I didn't work on this at all. I'm not involved in this even, it'll tangentially, even a little bit.

He's like, oh, I thought you like did all, like, did all of this. Like, no. And I walked away, I was like, who was that guy? I got him to the international terms of. Who was that guy? I looked him up. I'm like, oh, my God, he's like three times bigger than Ludwig. In followers.

I don't know about streaming size. I was like, oh, my God, he was massive. He's Mog City. Mog City, bitch. And he thought you were Dan Nigerian. I thought maybe I was Dan Nigerian. Yeah, I don't know. as close as it can be either way

but equidistant to both of them. You give Liza. Yeah? You see what Liza got me for my birthday? No. Well, if you saw my Twitter, you did. Oh my God, was that her? That's so sweet.

Liza comes up to me and she's covering her mouth and she's like, I did something drunk. And I'm like, what do you do? I'm like, do you need me to cover you for you somewhere? And she's like, I got you a hawk to a cameo. And she plays me this video and just a hawk to it or fucking Bailey Walsh in her bed. She's like, it's Xbox 360 summer. Okay, bye.

It's amazing. I was like, this is the best day ever. I thought pissed up and did it. No, no. That's a great. That's so sweet. Oh, it was very sweet.

Yeah. I got you gets and forgot it again. That's okay. I got it freaking one month ago. I've been holding it. Wow. I got a Sonic Amibo given to me on my actual birthday by someone at the party. I think it was one of the only gifts I received was a Sonic Amibo.

I was like, cool. Thanks for Sonic. Put this on my desk. Okay. You guys know, like, we used to carry cash around. We carried cash. People had registers. Cash king.

Cash is the king. Cash is king. I thought a really cool thing recently is I've been going to a bunch of stores they got this like little white, they got rid of the register they got just got this like white little box and I think you don't have to pay for anything

because I was like they can't take my cash I just show up so I usually just walk in and take what I want I leave so you don't engage with the little white box this little square shape thing that's at the store

no I mean that's I it's just a box I don't know what it does Aiden, that's actually a square checkout kiosk. It's super quick, easy to use, and you can also get loyalty points. You're eventually going to get caught. But if you just bring your phone or your card or whatever, Square makes it actually really easy.

You just go, you swipe it, you pay for your wares, and you leave. How would I pay with my phone? It's just a white box. Right? It is interesting. But yeah, you hold it up to the little white thing. Like that. If you go box to box, I think it's how you do it.

Now it just works. Now, a lot of ways, if I get a lot of these loyalty points, and they're, they're, I'm going in and they're saying, do you, would you like to use them? And I say, no. I just kind of let them build. You hoard them. And I make them bigger. Yes. Can I be honest? Can I be honest with you guys? What? I've been, I don't think I've been paying for, I haven't paid for anything. And good news is they have Square Police. And with Square Police, you can, anyone who comes to your store to rob for me. Whether it's a one location shop or a business with multiple teams or service areas, they're going to find you. That sounds really simple and easy. I don't know how I'm this.

The cool thing of Squares is it scales with. you, right? So like maybe if you're going to a small business, they give you like one square like guy. Can anyone do this? Like if I was running my business? Like I could just say this up. Oh, absolutely. And if your business scales up, you get a whole platoon. Let me give you a real seller stat. Businesses using Square Online earned 36% more revenue on average, Adam. 77% of invoices get paid within a day being sent. Listen to that, bro. And a 53% increase in spend from customers with the Square loyalty program. Don't be like Aiden. 20% more. With the Square. It's kind of police on marauders and thieves like you.

If you're out there, you're starting a business or running one that deserves better tools, Square helps you sell, manage, and grow without slowing down. Right now, you can get up to $200 off Square hardware at square.com slash go slash yard. That's SQ-U-A-R-E dot com slash y'r. Run your business smarter with Square. Get started today.

Next to something. What did you get him? Nick has requested, I didn't get Nick any. Me too. Hey. I'm not going to shake your aunt. Why? I'm not going to say it.

What? What is the fuck is that? I'm about to give him something. I gave him a completely optional. He said you don't have to, you don't have to, but if you ever comes to you, I want you to play Eldon Ring,

I want to watch. Because I'm, this is, I'm going to, I'm going to find a time later this year. Dude. To stream,

I don't want to, I'm bad at video range. I cannot wait. I don't want to do this. I can't, I'm going to be the low cow on the stream Elden Ring. You should,

okay. I'm not requesting this, but you should couch quest it. It's too long. It's too long. I can't, I can't couch question. I can't couch quest it because I have things.

I can't, I probably can't fit that in. The Aussie guys invented like a format of playing games where like you, you, you get on the couch and you cannot leave the couch so you beat the game. But a hair of men will take care of you. And I probably wouldn't be able to do like my duties or responsibilities effectively if I couch quested. You'll have your last time. Because I have a lot to do for you. Maybe. Maybe Harkall's one.

Eldon rings crazy. Here's the thing. If we, if it was a couch quest, Eldon Ring. crazy. I'm afraid he'll only ever play one. That's why I chose Elton Rang. Yeah, I mean, if you don't finish Breath of the Wild, which is like Babby's first Souls-like, I don't know. And also a beautiful game. It is beautiful. You don't know. I've played most of it. You've played some of it twice. He could play Dark Souls 3. I'm, I'm about to finish it. Dude, watching Nick play Dark Souls is, it's like an unbelievable experience. It's a bad.

Dude, it's that bad. It's not that bad. Here's the thing. Ben watches me play too, and Ben's played more Dark Souls than I think anyone here. And he was shocked to hear your opinion because he was like, you're fine. He told me I'm fine. I think it was my, I just went over to Nick's house the other day and I was watch and play Dark Souls. And I think it was my telling him gently a couple of things about the game.

But here's like, it's funny though. Like, yeah, I agree with you, Nick, because I think when you beat Dark Souls, you look back at someone playing Dark Souls. you're like fucking idiot. Idiot. You're not the player. But also, also, you're watching, when I played Eldon Ring,

I played blind, so I never watched anyone play before. I didn't know anything about like, you know, all I knew is you rolled a Dodge stuff. I literally, it's all I knew. And I only got to Godric.

That's all I did. I didn't go any further than Godric. So when you're watching me play Dark Souls, this is my first time. You're watching my first, you were watching my first eight hours of Dark Souls. It's not about being lost or anything like that.

It's about simple, because Nick's is smart, guy. But the way that, okay, I know what you're talking about, because the big thing that he is making fun of me for is that I didn't know what Embers did. No, not you're not. I don't even care about that. I can't think of something crazier than that person. I can think of so great. Let's hear. Let's hear it. He's in the catacombs.

He's in the carth, the tomb, the Carthus tomb, the catacombs. And he's running around. He's killing skeletons. Hard game. Whatever. You die. Sometimes just run at the wall. You don't want to think too much. You just want to fight. I get this. A guy. He kills a guy. It drops a big shiny. Big shiny.

When Nick Yingling was playing the a lot. He would be playing in Discord and just be like shiny. His own tick. Big shiny drops. Nick looks at it turns and just sprints the other way. I made it a couple shinies. His TV is gigantic. It was

like the size of like like a fathead on his wall and he just turns and he runs away to nothing. And I said, are you going to get that? And he's like, get what? To my defense, to my offense, there's kind of an awkward sometimes with certain enemies delay where you kill them and then they turn into a white

missed and then the item doesn't drop until that means the item's better. Shiny drop. That means that it's a better shiny. I'm new here guys. I haven't I haven't played it for a couple hours at the time. I haven't played it yet but it seems like I'm with you guys. I'm with you and Nick I really want it to be on your side. I always want to be on your side Nick but I literally will kill myself for a shine. I'm not here to

say I'm a master. I'm not here to say I'm the goat. I'm here to say look guys I'm playing the final boss right now. I I beat first phase, first try, that I died immediately after. My first try. You're Lord of Sender. Yeah. Cool. And I'm 26 hours into the game.

That's always supposed to be over. Over. Wasn't that Anorlando part cool? It was really cool. Didn't that blow your fucking mind? You blew my fucking mind. Yeah. I needed help for this part.

This is probably the most mind-blowing part for me was Ben showed me the part where you like do it. I won't like, I guess, spoil it. I don't know. But you like do a gesture and you go to like a more secret place. Darks Dragon Peak. Remember when I told you, if you played Darkseilles 3, he goes up. to where you go to Art Dragon Peak because he's going through the

Erethal Dungeon and he's like he sees the resting dragon statues and he's like what's that and I was like I don't know oh I point now because when Ben showed me I was like I've been here before for sure and I and I even like looked at all them and I'm like if I hit them do they come alive this seems so weird yeah he was like do they come alive you have to tell me I'm like they don't come alive I don't know anything yeah Ben was just like take a seat

and I take a seat and it was by far my favorite part of the game isn't it sick yeah it was it was really fun I went to that whole area finished it. You find Howvel? Yeah. What was he doing there? I fought Havle. That you motherfucking covers himself with cement and you're like, what are you doing?

Howell? What's it? It gives you a tight night slab? I'm like, I needed that. What the heck? I needed a slavis. The fuck I love that game. Which fight?

Oh, the name was king. Yeah. No, it was fine. I hate dragons. I think I did it. He got coached by Ben. Not for the fight. High key.

Ben doesn't coach me in any fights at all. I trust. I trust. He's here. Okay. I will say this. I was watching him play. It was,

I was being very gentle. He didn't know about Embers. I didn't laugh at him. I was like, yeah, Embers, they're pretty good. He pops it. He's like,

and he's like, whoa. Oh, my health bar immediately. I was like, yeah, that's embers, kiddo. But when he,

when the shiny, when he ran past the shiny, I was like, what are we doing? Here's my problem. I can't defend the Shines because I just didn't see him. But,

but with items, because like, because I was telling us to Ben, because Ben was making fun of me for certain, not understanding what certain items did, And I was just like, when you're a long time Dark Souls player and you know what all the items do, it's so obvious.

But in the game, when you read what items do, a lot of times, it's like dried fingers an example. It's like use at your own caution. And that's the only description of what that does. And so many items are written cryptically. Yeah. Where the game just wants you to do it. But there's just like looming pressure as someone who like kind of knows what Dark

Souls is, but has never played it where it's like, what if I use this item and I only ever get one? And I was supposed to give it to this side quest item to get the best ending. And like I always have that. feeling. So I just, I use nothing. I blame you, Zier. I raged playing Eldon Ring and I dropped 30 Rune Arks. Oh. And they're like the best item. Yeah. Roon arcs are important. My girlfriend's playing Dark Souls 1 and she popped a humanity and it like filled her health bar and I was like, that's a good item. Use it in your next boss fight. And Ben's like,

maybe don't overuse humanity. And I'm like, why? It's so good. Farm the rats. Did you, did you do the untended graves? The untended graves. Remind me what it's like. He hasn't done the untended graves. I might have. I'm bad at names in the game. Me too. It's like the starting area. Um,

where you go back. And it's dark and it's dark. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What's that about?

And then you go, why is it dark? And then you go back to the Fireling Shrine and it's like you were never there. And it's like no one and all the things you've done that aren't there. Very cool. Oh my God. What a great game?

And then you had to fight the Lord to sender and it goes dark again. What is that game? But then you can't go out of any of this. No. He won't remember. I'm mostly playing Mario. 10 minutes of phone time, it wipes his memory. I think, yeah, I think with Ben's confirmation,

I think I've done everything. Sorry, not everything. I haven't done DLC and there's a bunch of side quests I haven't done. But I think I did all the non-optional bosses, or the optional bosses. And I think I just have to do Lord of Center, then I'll do DLC. Great fucking game.

Great game. Great game. What do you think about, what do you think, or our little marathon approaches? It's not very far away. When is it again? Do you think we'll be changed people?

I'm not looking forward to playing with Josh Still Well here's the issue is Josh Hit 10K in CS2 Which is his like peak rank I think he said he was gonna stop playing I don't know if he did Will he do you know about his actual goal

Yeah 20K 20K in three months? Yeah Six months he raised it Oh maybe it was three It was three It was three but he hit 10 and he said he was gonna stop Because I was like Josh you understand

That for this challenge We had to gain 4K so if you come in your peak Elo, then we have to get 4K above your peak Elo. Because everyone's Elo has to go up. Yeah, I'm going to hit, I'll hit a peak Elo in this challenge. Well, I don't know. I don't know what I'll play Stenton too.

Literally, all of us, maybe except for you, we'll have to hit a peak Elo. I think if we go from where I'm at right now, I will also hit a peak. Fucking shit, we're not going to hit it. Pelo. I just really want to check something that I think is really awesome to check, which is looking at Josh's Steam account,

and then seeing how much, how much Counterstrike he's played. He's actually in a game right now. quite a bit. What is his name again? Smile. Are you going to do your placements before we start this marathon?

Yeah, that's my game plan. Did it reset? Because I should do my way. Yes. There's no reason to do yours. You could do yours. It doesn't hurt or help. Isn't it advantageous

because it gives me a benchmark to start at? It gives you, but like the benchmark is still there. You just don't know what the benchmark is. The only reason I need to do it is because our goal is based around my Elo.

So I need to know my Elo to make the goal more accurate. So what's the goal again? You have to gain 4K. My goal initially is 16K, but like, for example, if I rank to 15K, then maybe I'll make the goal different. I see. Okay. Josh has played 500 hours of Counterstrike in what is it two months? That's a lot. And 12 hours on AIM Labs. Dude, that's rebounds it. Dude, that's like the pie on Streetfire. You can go in their profile and see how much rank they've played and how much training room. I'll give him some credit. He's been doing a lot of refrag. He spends a lot of time on refrag, which is...

What's refrag? It's like, uh, the, the practice, in-game practice engine, so you can like practice, like, pre-aming on, like, maps and there's, like, mini-games, there's smoke lineups. I'm a white prep, okay. Cool. Yeah, yeah. I'm a Chinese 5E map guy.

I'm a... Megal run. I'm a 30... I'm a 30 seconds of aimbots guy into Q. That's gonna go. Fuck it. Run it. Oh, you need. Dude, I competed in a Twitch Rebels Valoran tournament. Yeah, it was before we talked about it.

He made fun of your killjoy. I said you played good. And you didn't. Piss me off. You looked miserable. I will say that. And then, oh, did you? There was a Valoran tournament.

Oh. What did? For Shotfire Rebellion, we were in a Valoran tournament to make it to the plans for champs, like Tier 2. Okay. And the Valoran tournament had seven hours of tech delays. So they delayed it to the next day. Oh, my God.

It was the best of five. They made it three games in. It was 2-1. Oh, my God. Then it goes to Game 5. Game 5 has another three hours of tech delays. We come out of the tech delays. We lose.

What can you do? What can you do? It's over. It doesn't happen like that anymore. Dude, that is awful. It was a 15-hour series of Valoran. It's hard. That's all I can say.

Production's hard, but Valeran's not that hard. We've ironed things out. a point where you don't see things like that happen. It used to happen a lot. But now it doesn't really happen, but it happened right there. It shouldn't be that hard. Well, streamer games shouldn't be that hard, but it always is. Every team does this at some point.

It should be harder to pull off than a Valerite 5E5 land. You would be surprised. I agree. I do agree, but I think they make it, Riot makes it weird and hard though, because they got fucking... The cube. They have the weird proprietary land thing. Like, not, you know, with Counterstrike,

like anybody could set up a Lancer. But for Valerang, you need a guy to fucking come who has the cube that he unveils. And then they have their weird proprietary, like, in-game overlay software. They don't really have, like, a good demo system. It's like, why did it's like, you're right games. Why do you make it like this? Drew Levin has to DM a woman on Twitter for you to be able to use the League of Legends, the tournament client.

Yeah. It's like, it's literally coded in. I just want to know, because I don't know, how much, if any defamation have we done to I don't know what I'm sorry you want to defend Sam Aldman okay ain't green dude I immediately defames another guy okay that's crazy Hank is innocent except for the shit in his mouth had that poor poor awesome with him and even if he fucking if you fucking turn your fucking back on him that doesn't fucking change me I didn't turn my back on him I have a nuanced take I think I should be as a guy on the show privy to the amount of information

That's defamation. But this is all parody. You know? This is all parody. Nick really trying to get out of it now. No. Nick digging deep into the things that save him. No.

Parity law, probably. Probably probably. You know what? Then go ahead and say, you know what, Drew Levin? I stand with you too. I'm asking if it's defamation or not. I don't know.

I don't know what that means. My mouth, my mouth more? Drew Levin. Sam Altman. Yep. The hang green part of it has like poop.

Kind of coming down from top of it. And the biker gang. who showed up with Mr. Bees' merchandise. Yeah, he's probably on there. The peanut butter biker gang. Mr. Bees is going to be the first president to detonate a nuclear weapon after Japan. After World War II.

He'll be the first guy to do it. He'll be like, why don't we just do it? Dude. Mr. Bees is going to be the president. That is so weird. Yeah, he probably will. It's going to happen. It will probably happen, yeah.

He won't lose. He will... He could lose. He will get the most amount of young people to the polls in history. I just don't think somebody who, like, built their career primarily in entertainment

could become president. Yeah. Yeah. Doesn't the tape's job of him being like I grabbed like grabbed Carl's pussy. And everyone's like that made him more awesome actually.

Would you like access to nuclear weapons? Yeah. They thought it would sink him but they just thought it was locker room talk at the at the beast facilities. Carl's going to be secretary of state. Yeah, I like that.

Carl being a diplomat, I think he'd do great. Chandler's the Attorney General. Sleepy Chandler. Wait, that would mean that Chandler is running against Mr. Bees. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, of course he'll have to run against one of his boys. A drama. Implying a schism.

Yep. Who would Mr. Beast even run against? What would his cabinet be? David Dobrick? Beauty pot. David Dober is in there? He's in the cabinet? I don't think Doberton.

I don't think Doberton. I don't think... Really? I'm not hip. Okay, then who goes in the cabinet? We need Department of Transpiration, Department of Agriculture, Secretary of Defense. We need Putee Pie. We need taxes to use on all bridges in the world.

We're going to reinforce all the bridges. Can you look up? The presidential cabinet. It's got to be called Pute Pie Bridge. Joint Chiefs of Staff. Secretary of the Joint Chiefs. You guys can fill this in. You guys watch YouTube.

I can't do it. That's true. Sorry, I was really wrapped up in Nick's plan for Pute Pie. The Pudy Pied Bridge. All right. We need Secretary of State. I think he keeps Marco Rubio. just straight up.

Secretary of the Treasury money guy. Money guy. What's his name? The ice coffee hour guy. Oh, Graham Steven. Graham Stevens.

Graham Stevens is probably Treasury of Defense. Education, we probably do ARAC, right? Because Mr. Beas is like those who can't do teach. So he'll be like the guy wants to be me so bad

is going to educate people on how to be me. Department of Energy probably probably Jesser. The Department of Energy handles nuclear weapons. Interior has to be Mr. Who's the boss

because Bro has been working on the inside of his house. for like three years on YouTube and like do the amount of fucking machines he have that make like rare pieces of bread or like the coffee, he would be sick at that. Attorney General

the master of law. What about Mr. You think he squeezes Mr. Beat in here? Who's that? Maybe you watch Mr. Beat? Who's Mr. Bees? Brings back FPS Russia. Secretary of Defense?

FPS Russia. He shot and killed someone allegedly. Allegedly. Allegedly? No, someone died on his property from a gunshot.

Didn't he got a prison? He went to prison for bullshit, but they got him for weed because the ATF was after him. Attorney General only used me blade. We're gonna get him there. Wouldn't be my first thing.

Health and human services. Ex-Joss. Yeah, White Boy 7th Street, probably. This actually isn't the full cabinet because AI is so dumped dog shit. It also says that Pam Bondi is still the Attorney General,

which is really funny. 23 members. He, look. The presidential succession line is really interesting. Because, because the Secretary of Agriculture can become president if enough people die. We've never gotten past VP, right?

No, I don't think so. What about, what about... Secretary of Agriculture, that would probably be Maya. Do I sneak into this? You sneak in that? No, I don't think I sneak into this. No, come on, you get, um... Director of the Office of Management and Budget,

probably Nick Allen. National... No, Director of National. intelligence, Grock. Grock. What's up, pussy? He'd a reel him in. Real him.

This is the easiest setup for a bit ever. We can't finish this list. I can do this in two minutes. All right, Secretary of Commerce. Secretary of Commerce, we're going to need to go once again. No, I won't do it. Was that not Graham Stevens? Graham Stevens?

No, that was the Treasury. It's different. It's science. Face banks. Because we're going to be called. We're going to do, we're going to do Klarna. We're going to do Kalli. All right, we are doing now U.S. minted chrome hearts.

Dude, and we give them the Saudi Arabia and shit? Oh, that'd be so funny. Wait, can you send zip? I can actually send it, I can say it. We've sent you, we've sent you 10 F-35s and a beautiful pair of bespoke chrome hard sheet. Ricky has, has permeated by, I have a new vocal stem. Ricky meaning banks? Yeah, by banks. Right.

Slime sent me something that he posted on, on Instagram. You know who said that to me? You're the most tapped in Banks fan there is. You know what's said to me? Shake Drizzle. And then I was like laughing. And he's like, dude, it is my one dream in life to meet Ricky. That's what she said to me.

Do you know what I was thinking? His last show was that. Nut and Slime were commentators. Yeah. And Slime left and he went, yeah, nut just keep making this bit about how like fucking money Lacey is. And then I realized slime just stole that. And I spent the last year biting nuts,

shit, glazing lace. I didn't steal it. He opened my eyes, Ludwig. Yeah. Okay. We were all blinded until we are, you know. Not was like a priest. Do you remember you left thinking like, yeah, he did it too much?

Like, that's what you said. It's called literally. Clarity. Yeah. You were thinking you were too much. I did. And you know who I didn't bring up a single time on this broadcast? Because he wasn't at the fucking thing.

He's getting surgery today. So you're saying he was invited until he got hurt? No, he's never invited. but he's still getting surgery today. And that's what I'm saying. I see this, uh, I didn't, it's in the yard chat. Wrong one, lo, wrong one. Does it matter which one?

Um, what I was that? Wait, no, not wrong one. Ooh. Which right here? Who zipper, it's right here. Someone in our community made this in the trip. By the craziest part is how accurate my house is really insane. Dude, this is awesome.

It's really cool. Uh, hold on. It'll be up on the screen in here just in just a moment. Aiden, do a little dance for me. Someone in the... Ooh. I can't search your name. Swimming through the... Swimming through the haters.

I swim through the haters. I don't know why I can't send it to you. I'm gonna spew. He could you. He got it. Okay. He's got it. And my pants have knee pads on it.

So what's... Uh, work hard. What's permeated my, my, my vocal stem from this. He's zoom in so we can read it at the top. It's solo resolution. What is this, dude? That's all I said. Rock down? My God.

Well, either way. I'll just read it because it doesn't matter if they can read it. Slime sends me this image, and this is something that a fan sent to Faye's Banks. Someone in our community made this, and the trippiest craziest part is how accurate my house is really insane. I can't stop saying this is the trippiest craziest. It's an AI, like, like picture of Banks as like a Pixar character with a big Dalmatian that goes up to his shoulders. And he's wearing... Huge Dalmatian, and his head is massive. It has this guardian angel.

If I'm not confused, it's meant to say palm angels, which is a brand in the same font. And it changed. Maybe there's another brand. It looks like Funko Pop became a real person, like a real animated Funko Pop story. Yeah. But we're trying to get Trippy Crazy to spread. If you guys want to use that in conversation, this is trippy crazy. I'm going to say, bro, the dog looks cute.

I will give him. The apartment is exactly the same. Because we've been there a lot. They can't get dog fingers right, not to be the fingers guy, but it does have two on the, on the one hand. Is it a crazy one of flowers? Yeah, Trippy Crazy. You know what?

Never mind. Is that what? We're almost at time, bro. Rosebud, Thorne, streamer games. Rosebud Thorne now. Thorne, no Lacey. Next. No, no, you're real Thorne.

I want to know you're a real one. Bud, Lacey's going to be okay. Rose, Lacey will rise again. So if you were to do, Rosebud, Thorne, like, non-lacy edition. What would you say? My thorn was VAR.

Yeah. Oh, they're so baby about it, bro. It was my fault, though. I said they had VAR, and it just, I thought it'd be fun, and it became just a wine sesh, which I think... Do you think that if the VAR, like,

iteration loop, like the amount of times you could just, like, immediately go, let's see it, and it could immediately pop up and watch it, do you think it would have been fine? I think it was how it kind of paused everything. What I didn't like about VAR is that it would happen well after the play. And so then it would be like rewind.

And then we're like in the like this is like a multiverse now because this is like three. Yeah, it's got to change so many things. Yeah. It'd be like let's call VAR and we're in a second dodge ball game. So it's like, okay, you want to end this dodge ball game. Go back to the other dodge ball game. Now you're, it's so it's like. Do you think a solution is setting like VAR you have to call it within like.

Yes. I would think it has it have to be some sort of. recent. And then also it was like being done. So yeah, I just think VR was, I thought it'd be cool in my head. It is funny because you encountered basically the exact same problem it has in like actual football, I feel like.

It's like people review the play. Like they go through this whole thing, the goal gets scored and then it's like up. Well I think ABS is like a better like ABS and baseball is good. Because ABS is like right after the pitch. You call it. And if it's like next pitch happens, it's too late.

Yeah. You don't get to be like for the last one. Yeah. It's funny how soccer players who are really diehard will justify, they'll be like, VAR's bad because part of soccer is tricking the referee.

Like, you're supposed to flop. That's part of the game. Yeah, we talked about this a couple episodes ago and they got mad on Reddit at us and it's interesting. Buckham, man. It's been an argument for a long time. No, you're right.

Flopping is awesome guy who made that thread. Yeah, the most sanctity of shop. They do it more. It's awesome. Let's flop more often. Yeah, that's um... That's the thing we mentioned the beginning of the episode

It's another iteration of him. I've seen some crazy versions of that thing. There's a lot. You like it. Because that one got back because I sent that to Josh. I think Josh sent that

in a way that got to you. I saw on Twitter. Oh, you saw on Twitter. But maybe he posted it. But either way, I've seen lots of those. It's pretty much my entire timeline. Really good guys. Keep that up.

If you see any funny ones, put it in Nick Zone in the Patreon, which is where we're going now. I want to listen more. I want to hear his fucking Rose and Bud. Why don't you care? I'm just sorry. You don't even care. You know what?

I saw a thumbs up and I went into a mode. I'm looking forward to the fucking Patreon. I guess we'll find out. I guess you have to pay. Your bud's the Patreon? I'm looking forward to the fucking Patreon. I feel so bad. I didn't cut you off, man.

Can I do the Patreon? He didn't notice the Shiny. You were shiny? I didn't notice you. Can I do the Patreon episode this week? Like solo it? No, like can I just, can I come to it? No.

No, if you're going to ask him, we have an option? Cut them out. I kind of want them. Giving us the option. With the pants? Yeah, you don't wear pants with knee pads in them and we'll think about it. You're dressed like Jonah. Yeah, you can come.

We have to drink all of this. Why are you dressed like that? You have to drink all of it to come to the Patreon episode. Oh, yeah. It's a peanut free. It's peanut free. It's peanut free. It's peanut free.

Do you want to be on? Then do it. Chug it. Yeah. And put up the horns. Other hand, put up the horns. Yeah. Forkum.

Put up the horns. Let's go. High up. This is the, this is the horns. How are you so bad at this? It's technically a trident. Oh, it's a trident. Yeah.

It's a fork. Yeah. That's not chug, bro. All right, guys. I can't imagine. Hit you on. Yeah.