The Yard - Ep. 30 - We got banned from Twitter...

Episode Date: February 2, 2022

THE YARD MERCH GOES LIVE FEBRUARY 6th AT 1PM PST! Speaking of merch, why don't you merch your way on through this episode there bud. This week we talk about the mushroom episode, Ludwig sinning in a bathroom stall, and a cool new artist who goes by "The Weeknd."

have you ever shaved your butthole completely no really i haven't yeah i've made that mistake yeah wait why is it it's not a mistake maybe maybe for you because you don't have like the ability to do so grow growing hair there but for people who can it grows back and it hurts it's spiky wait do you have hairy nuts only the first time only the first time second yeah maybe really yeah this guy's a one-time shaver but then you get tough this guy's a one-time shaver you get tough you shaving you i feel like shaving your genitals always sucks no do it and then like a week after it's shitty and it goes back to normal. I shave my butthole every week for a year. Wait, what?

Why did you do it that often? What? I do like we've turned on him now. You were talking about you. No, you're the weird one. Yo, welcome back to the yard. Fucking every week for a year. I would love to know.

Not that it's a bad thing. You know what? Yeah, why are you guys harping on this? You know what? I can take the heat off of Ludwig, and then bring it back, put it back on Ludwig. I have a little video I prepared, actually. Really? Yeah, I'd love to show you guys.

Because it has to do with what he was talking about? It has to do with Ludwig. Yeah, a little bit. Ludwig, asshole. It's all related. Oh, okay. All right. Can we get this video queued up, Zipper?

I'd love to see this. That would be excellent. I hope it's on my butthole. I love when Zipper has a fucking 44 round in the chamber everyone check this oh yeah you didn't ratio me okay so it was none of you will ever ratio me ever okay it was get fucked okay dude you know it's funny fucked dude i'll explain some lore here i i crafted this situation like a puppet master okay wait i don't know about this yeah because i told ludwig what was the context of the tweet bring us back so okay so so uh someone had tweeted

at me a picture of like a mario party wind windscreen. And Miles, our friend, chimed in and said, like, you know, L for playing Mario Party Superstars. And I was like, it's Mario Party 4. And then someone else came in and corrected me because I was wrong. And they were like, it's Mario Party 6. But then that person was wrong. And then someone else said, it's Mario Party 5. Thank God. And so, I said, handshakes all around.

We were all wrong. And then Ludwig chimed into the thread back on his Nick has to be right thing he dropped that little bit in last episode actually beautiful before it aired that we got before it aired that we got to talk about that episode and then show it now here so a lot of it was like nick has to be right so i agree with him and i ratioed him uh and then i of course no well you would ratio that tweet but then i immediately countered with the better ratio zipper can you pull up the thread real quick? Okay. Because I actually have a thing I'd like to point out here.

Zipper has to go find it. While he does that, let me explain. We were talking about it, and Ludwig fired off that tweet. And I was like, I had said something like, you're going to ratio that poor guy. Right? Like, don't do that. To me. Yeah. Well, you said I think he's going to ratio you. Oh, yeah, yeah. That that. To me. Yeah. Yeah. Well, you said

I think he's going to ratio you. Oh, yeah, yeah. That's what it was. I was in the mix somehow. I was like, Nick might ratio you, dude. And I was like, no shot. And you were just literally like,

you were laughing in my face like a bully. And what happened? All the while, I'm somewhere else with the Requiem for a Dream Music playing. I was talking about this with Jerma today because we're doing a stream tomorrow.

And up in Jerma's name, bro. Is that really a name drop? Yes. So me and Jerma are our favorite restaurant. Oh, so Jerma's not a name drop. We actually ordered the same thing. I wouldn't say it is. You heard it here first. Ludwig thinks Jerma is not a name drop.

It's not like it went mean Barack Obama. Ludwig hates Jerma. Jerma, if you're watching, he always says shit like this about you. Yeah, it's true. Amen. Specifically you.

Amen. A lot, Jerma. It's a lot. Anyway, I was talking to Jerma. You're still watching. I like you so much. He was mentioning that there's two kind of roads

a streamer can go down. It's one where you have an antagonistic relationship with your viewers, but then it can be a little too fraught, a little too mean, and then the other is where you have like an antagonistic relationship with your viewers but then it can be like a little too fraught a little too mean and then the other is like where you're very positive but then you're like too like much of a god in their eyes you can do no wrong and they're too like preachy and i think i've gone too far to the right where i retweeted the tweet

and i was like like it and then all my viewers just liked nick's tweet and i amplified nick's tweet because they're like oh oh, fuck Ludwig. So what you're saying is democracy took its course. That's kind of what I'm getting at. What I'm saying is they thrive and enjoy watching me fall. You created that. Pull up the thread zipper, pull up the thread. Because, dude, you started that. Like part of your audience in the early, early days was just like having them make fun of you.

Yeah. So let's do a little count here. So the original here, scroll down a bit. It's Nick. And then he says that I pop in at the ratio. Nick pops in with the mega ratio. Keep it scrolling. Yeah, you know what tweet I want to see.

Keep it going. Oh, wait, is it not there? I bet it's hidden. Show more replies. Show more replies. It's probably hidden. No, I think you got to go to my... Show more replies.

Too many reports. I think you have to go to my show more reply too many reports i think you have to go to my twitter too many reports you're being dumb you got to go to my twitter and hit uh tweets and replies no i think it's in the more section not not expand you do the very bottom and click like yeah it's like a reveal the hidden tweets or whatever you hit him with tony i hit him with tony the big dick tiger dude which is his middle name it's a bowser right no wait what wait it's like bowser no it's tony is it tony yeah literally tony oh in my head this was like a koopaling but it's not no it's tony no yeah that's not the one that's sorry i posted it twice so he's pulling

up the first the second time okay but speaking of twitter by the way if you guys didn't know this uh we we let the the the shillianaires know that we got our Twitter deactivated for 12 hours. Well, wait for that because that's juicy. Well, it is juicy, but it's apropos of Twitter. We got the dick right here, though. Oh, we have it? Yeah, pull that. Okay, from the satellite orbiting the Earth, we have it.

Pull that pee-pee up. And a small, slow, sensual reveal. Dude, he's so sick. So you hit me with a ratio. I reply to this. And then here's... Oh, God. That, like, leaks.

Here's where I have to show the levels of Twitter because in reply to this, Jay Shalat hops in and he just absolutely boomed every single tweet in that thread with, like, 10,000 likes. Yeah, because he's got Minecraft... Jay Shalat's a machine. He sold his soul to this sarcophagus devil. thread with like 10,000 likes. Yeah, because he's got Minecraft YouTuber power.

Jay Shlatt's a machine. He sold his soul to the sarcophagus devil. I'm just happy I didn't go down to the picture. You didn't go down to the picture. Yeah, you held out.

I had more likes than the picture. Oh, I see what you're saying. You had one ratio on me. I had two on you. I have a question. I have a question about

that tweet. One of my replies at 8,000, a little lower. I see. When you fire that off, when you fire that off, does some poor assistant at YouTube have to tell Susan that, I'm really sorry,

but he's done it again. They're walking into Susan. Hey, Susan? Can I come in? Are you busy? Okay. So Ludwig... Okay, I actually have the photo here.

Ludwig posted a photo of Tony the Tiger. That'd be crazy to have the photo. It's more like you have it in a Manil folder. Ludwig posted something that shouldn't have the photo here. Ludwig posted a photo of Tony the Tiger. That'd be crazy to have a photo. It's more like you have it in a Manil folder. Ludwig posted something you shouldn't have on Twitter. And then Susan goes, what is it? And you go, it says classified on it. You don't want to see this. Slides the envelope across the table.

It has the redacted black bar across the dick. Poor Susan has a new Ludwig thing on her desk every week. Is that really worse than having to see Fwizz's NFT every other day? All right. My bad. I'm brightening Susan's day with a little juxtaposition. Well, is it a brighten? You know what would be funny?

That intern walks in. She's eating Frosted Flakes. Like, yeah, what's going on? What's up? Yeah, it was. So you were so confident. All right. Here, let me explain the social dynamics.

You've created an environment where people want to see you fail but not really hard yeah but remember because when like keem was going at you on twitter yeah the ludbuds rose like skeletons from the ground they have a they have a they have like a jekyll and hyde yeah where you know most of the time they like being mr hyde but sometimes they gotta have good old jekyll they feel like hey this hey, this is all fun and games. Nick is in the gang. Yeah. And it's like, yeah, we need the cool guy to go. They don't know he's not cool.

They don't know that. But like, we need the cool guy to beat Ludwig. The last thing you said. No, you shut the fuck up. They don't know that you're not what they think you are. You keep talking. Which is cool. Dude, I remember.

I... Wait, real quick. The Vegas stream. Remember the Vegas stream a long time ago where you were IRL streaming at the backpack? Right. We're walking around. It's like a couple hundred viewers in the chat.

Icarus is in there. I never forgot this. You're walking around. You got the black shirt with a little bear on it. I like that. Wait, we're in Vegas? Yeah. Yeah.

We're walking around. Three years ago. It was a long time ago. I remember this. Icarus in chat says, God, Nick is just so effortlessly cool. And I was like, Hey, Icarus, shout out. Shout, Nick is just so effortlessly cool. And I was like, you will never be anything. To Icarus or to Nick?

I thought that. Well, Icarus has a PhD. No, he doesn't. I thought I could get away with that. I thought I could get away with that. I call that his day. His parents have a pretty successful business. He works at a video

editing and call works at a modeling agency. You're so pathetic. This guy is afraid of throwing up. How dare you think that his name is Matthew like scary.

You know, it's like anyway. Sorry, Eamon. What were you going to say? I know I actually had nothing substantial to add there.

I was just going to say that I agreed with you. Well, we did have to take footage of Eamon when his shitting butthole and that, so explain how that went. What? What is this? Why does he keep talking about your butthole? I'm just

estimating what the merch video is. Oh. You're just using baseless conjecture. You thought that I'm shitting myself in the merch video. No, well, not yourself. I mean, shitting yourself means you have pants on. Yeah, I have pants on. You smoked a cigarette and you don't stop talking about it. Hold on.

I think it's important. We're going on a lot of asshole-related tangents here. That's right. This week... What are you looking at me for? This week, I'll get around to it. Let me get there. This is a different story.

This is a different anecdote. Anthony is calling me from his bedroom. Me and Nick are in my room or like near my room. Anthony's room is at the opposite end of the hall from mine. And he's yelling. He's yelling Eamon from his room. I can barely hear it. And Nick is in the hall.

So Nick hears him yelling he's like he needs you for something because he's just like amy amy come here like come look at this no he tells me he goes nick and i'm like what's up he's like can you get aiden my door's closed and i'm in my room yeah the information he holds he has the opportunity to tell me but he wants to tell aiden get aiden so he says he says, go get Aiden. Right. So I'm like, oh, it sounds urgent. So I go, hey, Slime needs you right now. Yeah. And I'm like, oh, okay. You know, my poor friend.

My poor dear friend. He's in need. He's in need. Who has just recently lost his father needs me. Yeah, I'm a turtle on my back right now. And I need Aiden only. He needs me to console him to talk about something serious business related. I open the door anthony anthony is face down in a pillow ass up cheeks spread full i i get the full-on

porn angle face down dude he looks like his sack his shaft he looks like the thing that returns the bowling balls why are you seeing it it? He wanted to see what was going on. He was just like curious little bro. What did you want Aiden for? I want to see. And I screamed. Okay, so I don't know what Aiden can see. I'm down the hall.

I'm just like, that doesn't involve me. Right. And Aiden screams like a kid being chased by a fucking man. And I'm like, I like, lighter flight turns on. I fucking man and i'm like i like wider flight turns on i immediately turn i'm like alert like what if he's calling because he's bleeding out or something right and so i'm like what happened he's like fucking closest to the door and i i remember too far yeah that's too far that's too far and i'm like so i'm like trying to figure out like what has anthony not done yet because he's saying it's too far.

What is he not done yet? And I told them the image that flashed into my head, the uncontrollable image that I thought maybe what was happening is I thought Anthony was holding one of his poops and showing Aiden and like when the door opened. Like a goldfish. Yeah. Like a dead goldfish. Look at it.

I thought I thought happened. No, it was just, he was just, you know. And you saw, you held it for long enough that Nick could see it? No, no, no. I wasn't part of it. You didn't get to see the butthole. I was very far away. Wow.

And by the time I had ventured over to check out the action, he had resumed. He was put away. So were you like on your bed? No, I was on my floor. Why were you face down? Because I had just gotten out of the shower. It's the same reason that, well, okay. I didn't't i wasn't

face down before i had the idea yeah i was like oh i'm naked right now and i'm in my room it's because if you go in that position your asshole is more exposed were you already face down when you called for me let me explain what happened i hear aiden and you talking outside my room which doesn't happen a lot because it's like a hallway it's like you don't hang out in there and i'm like oh the guys are there and i hear mostly aiden so i'm like oh this makes sense i'm gonna and then i like what do i do and this makes in that time yeah aiden walked away and then i had you get him i see but in that time i figured out what i wanted to do and so i got down right you know like the sphinx you're getting like so sexy with it and i and sexual. I arched my back and I spread my asshole with my two hands.

Put a pillow underneath your elbows. He did it. He used his hands to spread it. Oh my God. Hey, good job. I learned it from you, Dad. I know. I know.

That's what he said at the end of it. Good job. He's like, Ludwig just used to do this. I did. I missed that era. Okay. You did miss it. I missed it too.

That was him in college. He missed it. You saw it. He missed it. I miss it i missed it too that was him in college he missed it you saw it which now now that i've recounted that i think it's very important that we go back to why you shaved your ass and that's before we do that let's ignore that every week let's talk about why we got banned on Twitter. What happened? Because I got a text that was like, do you have a contact on Twitter? We're banned.

Yeah, okay. So Nick messages me. He's like, dude, we got – or he messages Slack. He's like, dude, we got fucking – we got taken down. We're timed out on Twitter. We can't do anything. Wow. We need to post merch stuff.

It was crazy because – so like when you log into Twitter, when you're like locked, it just like says you're locked. Read through all the reasons why and then click go. It usually unlocks you after you do that that but apparently the tweet we were blocked or banned for was so bad that we have to have a penalty we'll get there uh and it says three hours like i'm like oh three hours whatever who cares and then i refresh the page and it says 11 hours i'm like i gotta refresh dude it's like when someone steals your phone and they keep putting the wrong number in yeah and i'm like'm like, did I do that by refreshing?

Yeah. Because I had just tried to retweet something to see if I couldn't do anything. And then after that, it went to 11. And I'm like, so I went and tried to retweet another thing. Yeah.

And I'm like, well, let's keep going up. We gotta message from Jack. And I refresh. It stayed at 11. We got a DM from Jack. He said, bitch, you thought.

Bitch, you thought. And we were like, oh. Even though he left. Even though Jack stepped out. That's why he can say that now. He just hops in as a board member. As a board member, he hops in.

He gets to be so much more candid now that he's. He wanted to chirp. The tweet was, I believe, something Anthony tweeted that said, death to all weebs. I said death to all weebs, but this is pretty cool. And it was the two Neon Genesis Evangelion memes that someone in the Discord made that just said, like, the yard. And they were funny. Oh. Yeah, so they just saw death, too, and then a group of people.

Yeah, so I made a death threat and then got taken down. And, yeah, but, dude, it was, like, a week ago. That's the annoying part. Which means it got reported, probably. It got reported. I mean, like, some weeb out there got fucking pissy and they reported our account and now you can't say anything on liberal media that's what i'm saying probably just took a while for the report to go through a human because they have they have to like have a human look at it i just want to tweet about killing people who like anime from the comfort

of my home i like anime dude pull out what you were just fucking doing before this he's reading like a fucking school i was reading the one piece manga volume 83 why did you bring it up here because i was here for like a few minutes before you guys got here does he pipe her does he pipe big mama i don't think there's any who is he the main one piece is luffy one piece yeah yeah it's it's one piece and it's actually a it's actually a sex novel. He goes around fucking all of the women around. Yeah, because he's looking for his one piece. Yeah, that one piece. Because he can't get tied down until he finds his one.

That's right. He's done with Boa Hancock. Now he's on a big mama. But he definitely fucking... He rings her bell. And he's got the gummy, gummy rubber dick, so that shit long. I was going to say, you won't believe what Luffy can stretch, bro. Luffy stretches out his wiener like us boys stretch out our foreskin.

You guys are explaining this in a way that's like I can believe it. You whip it at and it just holds on the wall? Yeah, you take Sally's homework. I thought we got banned for posting a picture of my ass standing there. Yeah, we didn't. Because it was blurred on the Twitter, right? No, no, it wasn't blurred. It was the emoji of the French guy. Yeah, we didn't. That was a... Because it was blurred on the Twitter, right? No, it wasn't blurred. It was the emoji of the French guy. Well, that's blurred.

It's not blurred. It's censored. It's censored. It's censored. It's censored. It's just concealed. I feel like being blurred is a different thing. It's the same concept.

It's the same concept. You blurred it out. You blurred it out. It's like you got rid of it. You blurred it out. But I don't know. I don't agree with you. You're dumb. But I agree that.

It's like saying, it's like saying, can you bleep it out? And then using a car horn. Yeah. And it's like. Not a bleep. You horned it out.

You didn't bleep it out. You horned it out, bro. Okay. Here's why I'm so attached to this. Is because in, when I was a little kid, and I would watch. Why does it always go back to that?

Why does it always. When I would watch late night uh tv comedy central there'd be the ads for girls gone wild oh dude okay and it's the steel drums that's so sick and you're watching it and you like it's just women flashing people right it's essentially porn i don't know how the industry worked back then. But those boobies were blurred out. Right. Because they were still like flesh colored. And you were like, nice, I'm 11. I can make this work in the next 30 seconds. Yeah.

But if they were just the French emoji guy, I'm not calling that blurred. I'm getting bricked up. Because I'm not beating my shit to that like you would. I'm getting bricked up to the emoji. I know you would. Take out the women. Because they're like,

Monsieur. I like going to be bricked up to the emoji. I know you would. Take out the women. Because they're like, oh, monsieur, garçon. I like what the garçon does on the TV. I remember I would specifically throw on HBO at like 8 p.m. and fall asleep

because I knew when I woke up there'd be softcore porn. Dude, I watched just one softcore porn once. Wait, how old? Like, I don't know, 16, 17?

Yeah. 15, 13? So know. 16, 17? Yeah. 15, 13? So you live with your mother. Yeah. And you would throw on something that intentionally would turn into porn while you're asleep. Yeah.

And then she could walk in. Like a butthole. No, she's passed out at 10 p.m. every night. Don't say passed out like she's fucking hitting the bottle every night, bro. Passed out because she's working damn hard, single mother. Like Reba. Paloma was ripping lean all day. Paloma was like, bottle every night bro passed out because she's working damn hard single mother like reba

all right ludwig i'm going to bed my mom i'm going to french school she takes three glasses of wine to the dome she's she's off one she can't she gets one a night and then she's that's capped out i i watched a softball porn once it was on cinemax and i remember it so vividly because even though i was like a horny teenager beating my shit right i was like this makes no narrative sense so it was it's basically those movies those movies are like basically softcore porn back then on cinemax i don't think it exists now because it's so accessible but you could pretty much only show boobies like if people were having sex they literally weren't they didn't. No. And there's this scene where this woman is in a swimming pool alone

and it's at night and it's very well lit. Scary. And she takes off her top and she just starts playing with her boobs. Can you say this slower? She just starts playing

with her boobs for like 10 minutes. Dude, 10 minutes? Yeah, it's really, really long. Because it's the best. I finished my shit and I'm like, still like, well, I mean, you got to, like, is she getting bored? Like, this is crazy.

And she's alone, and there's just music, and it's like fading into different shots and angles. You're washing your hands in the bathroom. You're like, you know, you don't have to keep doing that. It was just. Like B-roll of Polar Bears, back to the boobs. It cuts to a Zubux commercial. The fucking ShamWow guy now. Yeah.

So I was like, even as a kid, I was like, yeah, I mean, I love a rack as much as the next little kid. But damn, I want to get to the plot. Yeah. Too much rack. Not enough plot. I had the same thing in college. There was this porn series that booted up, and I was really into it. It came out weekly, so every Sunday, I'd want to watch the episode when it came out.

You were really into it in college? Like you're watching Vampire Diaries in high school? Yeah. Was it on TV? No. It was on. I would get it illegally. You had to pay for a subscription.

Was it Confiesta? No. I'll tell you what I don't exactly know the name but it was why is all of this relatable? why between you guys let me explain

the Comfiesta guy and the Milf Hunter guy are the same guy and it's the same cinematic universe and you guys don't know this Zipper knows what the fuck I remember

Anthony explaining this to me on the way home from a Power 9 Milf Hunter me and Miles explained Milf Hunter you might have seen this even it was like a reality show for porn Remember Anthony explaining this to me on the way home from a Power 9. Milf Hunter. Me and Miles explained Milf Hunter. You might have seen this even.

It was like a reality show for porn. And it was like America's Next Porn Star. And they got like a bunch of guys and girls. And then they would like try them out as porn stars. But they would also like live together. And I thought that was like an interesting concept. So I was glued to the TV. I thought the concept was interesting. I was in it for the writing, really.

Honestly, the articles are what I read. This is actually, okay. So I loosely know what you're talking about. See? Why did you know that he would know that? Never. Because I think it's an age thing. It's got to be an age thing, right?

Talking about old jerk-off over here? He's literally the same age. He just doesn't jerk off. Yeah, he doesn't. That's why. What Nick does is he opens up Premiere, and if it doesn't crash, he comes. This actually reminds me of something, though. Dude, who wouldn't?

What the? They take, like, real, like, some piece of, like, modern media, and then just make a porn version of it, right? Like, not even a movie, but, like, copying the format of a TV show or anything. They still do this now. I stumbled across, you know the Jubilee videos? Or not the Jubilee videos, the cut videos. Right.

Where they do the fear pong. You've seen those. I know you have. Okay, I think I have. It's like a drinking game or whatever. It's like beer pong, but then the thing you have to do is like fear factor. Yeah, but they just- This is like a boomer listening to two kids talking about Minecraft.

Yeah. And then when Jay jay schlatt they just made they just made a porn version of right where they where you like draw the card in fear pong and then you like oh we're gonna i'm gonna i'm gonna fuck you i thought you were gonna say it's like the jubilee videos where it was like do you believe we should take away guns and if you're on the left you just fuck each other it's kind of it's kind of like that. I think we should take away guns. There's variations. The modern version of this

is porn versions of YouTube shows. I jumped out of an airplane and fucked this girl. Boys. What's up? I drained my balls. In five years, I can't wait for the porn version of The Yard.

And it's just one chair, but we all sit on top of each other. Oh, shit. You know what's funny is we've kind of explored this so many times already with just the idea of Eamon squirting his head off. True. We've already given so many concepts to this future show. Here's the closest we've gotten was after last week's bonus episode, we asked for a specific call to action to see

who made it, not only through main episode, but all the way through the end of a bonus episode, which is a lot of work. And then we made them go to the Discord to post something. In a Bald's only channel. And Nick's girlfriend, Zipper2, posted a NSFW Sonic art on the yard set

just looking like something Kim K would post in a magazine cover. She made that, right? She made it. So it's custom. She contributed to the great library. I got tagged on Discord, and I don't get tagged a lot from people I'm friends with, and I look at it, and it was just Sonic just like butt spread. And I was like, damn.

On the Sib, right? On the Sib. Yeah. And I was like, I can't believe. I want to say on the record, I didn't think she had it in her. Genuinely. I want to say on the record. Like the artistic talent

or like the sexual desire? Both. The latter. Me neither. The latter. I literally just can't imagine her just like quietly and carefully drawing the round edge of Sonic,

girl Sonic's ass. Yeah. Her bedroom looks like a pottery barn yeah she's like sitting like sitting there just fucking like thinking about it like like erasing the ass like yeah this is yeah so that was

really really kind of we contributed to the world finally we did I will say it backfired a bit you fucking horny idiots in the discord oh man so many of you well yeah because what happened we explicitly asked for it to not get too crazy right and they did but a bunch of people just posted pornography oh yeah yeah you can't do that and then we got and then we started banning

people you know what i sent a message we delete me and millie go through we delete all the posts and then i make a post i was like Anybody who keeps doing this You're gonna get banned And refunded I'm on the side of the people We asked for porn And we got porn You're gonna get banned

We didn't ask for porn That's the whole point Discord porn scandal And then And then people kept doing it And then people started getting banned And a few people have complained In the Patreon

Yeah go fuck yourself We explicitly told you in the episode To not do that i've refunded i've refunded some shit i'm glad you and millie put in some work i only i i'm only mad at the people who after you posted in there before that if we're like hey send us sonic stuff but we said and we get sonic stuff those people didn't get banned it's like it's like you obviously obviously we kind of asked for it we did explicitly say don't do this but it's like i'm gonna let it'm going to let it slide.

We'll just delete all the old ones. And then from here, we're going to ban you. I will say, maybe not our brightest idea. Don't say R. He keeps saying we and R this episode a lot. Maybe not the four of us collectively. And you know what we learned? Poor Millie.

Free Palestine, the melee player. That spent at least a couple hours deleting Sonic pornography. And you know what we learned? Poor Millie. Free Palestine the Melee player. Hey, that's... Spent at least a couple hours deleting Sonic pornography. A brick on the road to freeing Palestine is deleting some Sonic porn, okay? I will say. That's part of it, yeah. I spent like 45 minutes doing it that first morning, and I was like,

is this where I thought I was going to be in life? Because I'm technically getting paid for this right now. I want you to know that was almost verbatim what my job was at Snapchat. Yeah, you were a content moderator, right? Much less sonic porn and much more real porn or boobies getting surgery. Did you ever get bricked up at that job? It was usually a bit too early, but sometimes at work I would get bricked up and I jerked off in the office a couple times.

Really? Yeah. No way. It was late. Whoa. Wait, hold on. So wait, you shaved your ass every week? Well, okay.

I worked at Snapchat and it was like an office in Venice Beach and it had the works. They had three different restaurants you could go to. They had more, but for contractors, we were like the poverty people. I asked him about this once and then he shot me down. He's like, I've already talked about this on stream. I used to go to his apartment. It was kind of like right after we first met. And he would just have stolen items from Snapchat headquarters in his room.

I've talked about the thievery, the larceny I've done. Okay. Allegedly. The Luna bars. Dude, we ate like kings. Luna bars. I would have Babybel. I would have LaCroix.

I had coconut water. I didn't even fuck with coconut water, but I had it in the fridge. I do love a little baby. He was flipping packs. I always thought to myself, every time I was stealing from the fridge, I was like, what would Shy City do? Yeah, what would Shy City do? And then I never had a girl over, so it didn't matter.

Yeah, you didn't get to hit anyone on the head with a freeze pop. Ludwig recording his own version of the Shy City video and just fucking it up over and over again. Hey, if anyone wants to come over. And, like, if there's any honeys, like, in the valley who want some. PlayStation 3 or the PlayStation 1. I have a Kingdom Hearts.

And so I'm working at Snapchat and my job's content moderation which is just stopping things that break terms of service from going through so they just don't get sued because like it's public facing like if you click on like

How does that work before they go through? Like if you post Snapchat to Lollapalooza, I don't know if you remember Snapchat back in the day. Oh, they get approved. Yeah, you click on a big public event, whatever it is. You could see what is happening.

And it's just Aiden's shaved clean asshole just shitting continuously like a loop. Like an NFT, yeah. They used to have that. That's what it would be. It would just be insane shit. And it's like, well, you can't have that because then there's going to be kids watching. They're going to get a fucking lawsuit.

So they have this content moderation team. Only moderated snaps go through. And so I did that for French and English snaps. And a lot of it was just like blocking out porn, blocking out surgeries. And like I would say most of it was just like nothing. Like just glazed eyes looking looking at these boobies having surgery. It'd be like, because the shifts you'd work would be like 6 to 2 p.m.

Every once in a while you think, I can fix her. Sometimes. Boobies flying around, dicks in butts. It was a beautiful location and I'd work alone at night sometimes. The cold Venice breeze hits you and you're just...

You work 24 hours. You have to cover 24 hours with your whole team. So I'd work like 8 p.m. to 4 a.m. Oh, that's awesome. And I usually work from home, but for the first two months, they make you go to the office, even if you're working those dog shifts.

And I'm by myself in the office because the tenured people get to go home. And I'm there. Oh, you're by yourself? One, what I'm doing is I'm looking through all the shit. I saw that they had a Snapchat December Christmas party that they invited Drake to. $25 million party. They didn't invite the contractors to.

I couldn't go. But I stole an advent calendar. Do you remember that gold little Snapchat guy I had? Got him. Yeah, I do. On the lamp. I stole that. I stole that from an advent calendar.

I'll never forget him. Yeah. He's a brilliant guy. He was in my room. carried yeah I clapped I clapped underneath that guy what awesome yeah and so one time like a mistletoe the day where I stole that actually I happened upon a few snaps got a bit bricked and I made my way to the bathroom and I was like I'm just gonna throw this one out so I can get back to work. I'm trying to be a good employee. Take my 10, do my thing.

Wow, you even took your break for it. I had to take a shit, too. I was like, let's combo. And I'm 0 to 10. Yeah. The self-blumpkin, you just got to rip him? Well, the thing about me is I was also mad. The way you do it is it would hotkey, so I was a real gamer with it.

So I'd be able to churn out like 100. It's like you're playing fucking Brood War, bro. But while I'm in there pojoing. Bizu at the content moderation setup. He's so fast. I'm in the bathroom, Snapchat headquarters, pojoing. And a janitor walks in. While I'm doing this. No.

In a stall. And they just walk into the building. I hear someone walk into the building. I don't know if it's a janitor at the time, but I stopped jerking off. Right. And I didn't lock the door because nobody's in there. So I hobble and I lock and I go back down. And I'm like, I'll just wait.

You do the hands and the ankles? And I wait. Probably the most shame you can feel in a single walk. It's a little shame. Yeah. But I'm there for five minutes. And then eventually I hear, like, the door, because he goes for the handle.

Oh, my God. And I'm like, oh, busy. Can I ask an important question? Yeah. Are you still bricked? No. It's been five minutes. You're post-brick? Okay.

It's, like, sadly post-bricked, too, because I didn't get to do my thing all the way. Oh, so you're blued up and you're bricked down. Yeah, blued up mid-pojo, guy jiggling the door get to do my thing all the way. Oh, so you're blued up and you're break down. Yeah, blued up mid-pojo. Guy jiggling the door. I do my thing. There's two bathrooms. I'm like busy. Goes to the next one. I'm like, fuck, it's cleaning service because they have to clean it for like night shift. So I just have to wipe.

And then while he's in the other bathroom, I just sneak out. I leave my laptop. I leave everything there. I just go home. In the bathroom? No, no, no. In the office. I just go home. I leave everything there. I just go home. In the bathroom? No, no, no. In the office. I just go home. I didn't want to see the guy after because although he probably didn't know what I was doing or she. In the moment, it feels like they know everything about me.

They're like they knew I was pooping and jerking off in the headquarters bathroom. Another contractor pojoing in the bathroom. The only thing I took was my bag full of goodies in my advent calendar. You can't leave the Luna bars behind. You can't leave the Luna bars behind. It's actually a Cinderella storyerella story it's like that's the person who uploaded their fucking their boobs to goddamn a public snapchat like lollapalooza like feed they they they were probably hoping that that would reach somebody who would

use it who would find value in that. Yeah. And little did they know that it was poor little tiny baby Ludwin Anders at a stout 5'5". Wow. Poe Joey. It hurt more than hell.

20, 18, 20... He's like 5'6 by this point. You paint such a rosy picture of content moderation there because it honestly doesn't sound that bad, but every Facebook moderator I've ever talked to which is like two sounds like they went through a war yeah like they could never do that ever like because yeah they've seen there's some porn but i also watched you know a lot of people get beheaded no yeah there's just like people

like gore and shit yeah i think i'm pretty desensitized to that because i've gone out of my way to find that stuff. Dude, I actually feel the opposite. I actually feel the opposite about that. Really? If you're a 31-year-old guy like me, chances are you have had a friend show you the LimeWire video of the guy getting his head cut off. You mean the LiveLeak video? LimeWire.

LimeWire video? He's like 31, bro. What the fuck did I just say to you? You're 24. So that means before LiveLeak and before streaming, someone would prank you by saying, hey, everyone, come check this video out. And then you'd watch a guy get his head cut off.

And then your life is different. Yeah. You don't think you're desensitized? No, no. I think I was. I think when I was a teenager there was like kind of that period where being intentionally shocking or like shocking your friends was like funny or like challenging yourself in that way was like ridiculous right

because there was a shit ton of gore on 4chan i saw it on 4chan all the time or people would like link like link live leak stuff and back then i thought it was fucking hard like i i if i saw something like very very few videos or things i ever saw like broke me i remember back then i could look at stuff like that and it would just be like oh that's not like that's not even that crazy bro but now now if i have the rare the rare time where i see something like that, like somebody die on the internet. It makes me really sad. As an empath, I can definitely say that.

As an empath, watching BME. Beheading people feels bad to watch. And it's probably bad to share as well. I'm like, this isn't good for his balls. Dude, one time I was at my friend's house, and he lived on a ranch, and his family owned a ranch. They had animals, right? Right.

And part of that job is, you know, sometimes you got to, you raise the animal for its meat. And then you get rid of, you know, you take the animal's life away. Yeah. So you can get the meat from its bones. You got to harvest its meat. Yes, sir. So, you know, I ate a turkey sandwich like a half hour ago. So, and the bones are their money

so so dude i remember this this this this this is really early before like like you know 4chan teenager you know phase and to where i was like you know what i don't want to see that shit i'm not like you i was like oh i'm good but and i think it's because of this so we're hanging out and it's me my friend max and uh he's like hey my dad's about to uh cut up uh one of the pigs he's gonna kill one of the pigs and and you know and got it or whatever you do is he saying it like solemnly like he's saying like you want to go watch is he saying like yeah he is wow and i'm like yeah because you're not trying to look blame i know i i wasn't I know I wasn't trying to

front I was like yeah I do I'm curious you know and we go and we see him shoot this pig twice in the head because the first one doesn't do it and then he cuts it open and I was like and we're just watching dude and we're just watching and then we like it's over

good shot good answer and then it's over and then we like it's over good shot good answer good answer and then and then it's over and then we go back we were just like playing video games before and we don't say each other anything to each other for like the next three hours yeah it was it was like i was like why did i do that i think that's healthy i think i i actually think if i'm president every kid for seventh grade should go to a farm and have to raise an animal and fucking kill it. I do think understanding how your food is made

is actually sort of a responsibility. I do think that's true. That's actually why Silver Spoon is one of my favorite anime because it's about a city kid who goes to a farm and he gets to school there and he has to do that same shit. He's like, oh, this is so cringe, but at the end of the day, I like meat, so it's like, fuck.

He's like, oh, no, I'm the 18th cowboy. I showed up. Yeah, he is like that. He's like, in four years when I'm 18, I'll have to do this. I showed Zipper to Minecraft for the first time. Wow. Yeah, she's never played Minecraft. It's weird that you're dating an 90-year-old.

This is not recent. That makes her more. Anyway. I'm glazing out. This is not recent that makes her more anyway uh i'm glazed this is pretty this is pretty recent uh we're playing minecraft and uh we're playing we're playing like actual my survival mode you know we're playing we're not playing fucking being on the ender dragon so we're you know my wife and as we're playing i'm i'm sorry i'm really struggling with the idea that you recently showed her minecraft but she also hand-drew a piece of Sonic pornography. It usually doesn't happen in that order.

Usually it's one, two. Yeah, it's definitely like... That's not how PEMDAS goes. You have a motorcycle before a car. There's usually a few years between those. The PEMDAS is Sonic. Yeah, yeah. So you gotta hit Minecraft in the middle. First one, porn.

Yeah. To be fair, she knows what it is. She just hasn't played it. So we're playing it, and we're dying because we've been running around doing fucking nothing. She's shit trash. Because she's getting vertigo from the game. Well, also, you're shit at it. I've seen you.

I've got a war flashback. And I'm like, oh, so, all right, we have to eat. That's part of this game. And so I go over, and I hit a pig one time. And it makes that to eat that's part of this game and so i go over and i hit a pig one time and it makes that horrible noise that pigs make in minecraft when you hit them and she instantly sternly tells me don't do that again and i'm like we we have to eat it if we don't we fucking die she's like i don't care i'm it's too sad don't kill it and I'm like yes dear and so we fucking don't kill the animal

she eventually decides the game makes her too dizzy and we stop playing vegetarian run I was like I'm fucking never

doing this again you can do a vegetarian run the vegan run's hard because you just gotta eat a lot of bread you can do soup soups with the mushrooms is pretty easy

well here's the thing I used to do that with Chad when I played Minecraft and I would have a farm full of cows, and then I'd play the Darth Vader, Anakin, Kill the Younglings song, and I'd just chop them down. I felt great.

Another time you did that same bit, which is I really love that. We kind of are becoming each other. I showed my asshole to Eamon. You are posting Tony the Tiger with a giant uncircumcised penis leaking out everywhere. So it's kind of beautiful. But one thing you did that was kind of taken after me, I felt, was that when you replied to Pokimane, it was years ago,

maybe like a year ago, she said something and you replied like heart or whatever. And then a bunch of people replied to you, calling you simp, because simp was like the word. And you brought it up on stream. You're like, you know what? Fuck you guys. You know, I'm done with this.

And you played the Younglings song and then you fucking blocked them all one by one. And it was very hype. And I was like, he would never do this. So cool. He has enough followers. It's like in Death Note. He starts writing all the names.

When he gets real excited. I was so surprised. I was like, Ludwig doesn't block people. But it was for the bit. One of the, you might not know this, but one of your, a bit we shared prior to meeting each other was just playing or singing Duel of Fates just in different moments with your friends. Because I knew that you did that.

And I was like, I love that bit because I do that with my fucking friends i will do pumping gas you're like the first part that's the part that's fun to sing i like the up the chorus part yeah that's where i was harder to pull off yeah well do you hear my dream no but i i did hear that you shaved your asshole once a week for a while. Dude, what was up with that? Why did you do it? Move on, fellas. Just explain it. Dude, this is the chapters on this episode.

Literally just explain it. It's part three, part four. Please just explain. Why once a week? Hey, talk to me on the mushrooms next step. I know it wasn't growing back that fast. Hey, we'll see next step what happens. You guys have to do mushrooms next step.

This is so low stakes. Did we drop our Patreon count? Is it the first yet? Yeah, it is the first. No, it's the 31st. It hasn't dropped yet. Well, the goal, if you guys don't know, is if we hit 15,000 patrons, we would do a mushroom episode. We can't walk it back.

No, I'm not going to walk it back. I was more so just curious. So we're going to have to do one. We're not doing it this week, but maybe next week, I think, is the play. Zipper tested it. Like he was like, um, uh,

what do you go? So more. Yay. Yeah. Mushroom. So yeah, he was like, yeah,

it was, uh, it's a bit apprehensive. Yeah. I know exactly where, uh, you guys can be to how much you can have to what you, where you want to be at.

And it had some base notes as well. I recommend a tea. Yeah. Which was weird. Cause he's a big giant zipper yeah so he's got a smiley face on it's crazy i'm nervous about this one though this is the one everyone's like i originally i'm like hey i'm i'm content pilled i no drug can stop me from delivering content but everybody's like everybody's like bro i want to be clear drugs can't stop me

from doing content I want to be clear we've watched that happen with the most baby drugs yeah so I'm I'm nervous your brain is malleable

so many people so many people have sent me like a concern message like yo bro don't do it for the first time get the fuck out of the DMs you pieces of shit

I'm not a fuck you guys I'm talking to them I mean fair enough I think they're. I'm not a fuck you guys. I'm talking to them. I think they're being... I'm not an idiot. Because it's like, we're adults. We can make this decision. We can like figure out if there is apprehension. We can figure out a way. Say you guys don't want to do it. We'll figure out what to do there.

But you thinking that you're fucking... You just get mad too much. They might just have been like a 25 year old who experienced ego death 25k 25k when we do the cat episode you can send me warnings that's when you can send me a warning not me well it's not the cat up when we get 25k we start selling it to all the patrons i want even more bands yeah tier five we send you a little bit of cat once a month. Just a little bit. That's a treat. Just a tiny bit.

I think it'll go great. How do you feel? Sorry, I interjected. I'm nervous. All right. Hey, look. Hey, man. Me and you.

We talked about it with Zipper. There's a lot of things you just like, we're going to make you guys feel comfortable. We're not going to like try to fuck with you. We're not going to make it like weird and fucked up. I'm going to show up dressed as a ghoul. I'm going to chase everyone around. I will say I've had a decent time. I've had a pretty decent time.

Both times I've done it. So you've done it before, by the way. Yeah, two times. Two times. Sort of three. Italy kind of backfired. We just didn't take enough. And if you do the goblin little fat boy thing, I think I'll die.

I think I will. No, no. Anthony privately talked about this. He's going to do goblin little fat boy? I think I'll die. I think I will. No, no, me and Anthony privately talked about this. He's gonna do God, Little Fat Boy? I think I will have a heart attack. Nick's gonna take the squirt gun and be like, it's gasoline. Stop it, gasoline! Stop it! It's piss, it's piss.

I'm covering you, my piss. Oh, just covering me in gasoline? Dude, that... That's already, look. You're like reminding me, cause we talked about it and it's like popping into my head. You're like reminding me, because we talked about it, and it's like popping into my head. You're like reminding me of this old ISIS propaganda video I watched, where I watched a man get burned alive after they covered him in gasoline. Dude, are you good, man?

Well, welcome to the hardcore episode. Yeah, holy shit. Yeah, me and Nick were in the car, and we were like, we were driving, we were kind of talking about it, and I was like, we gotta be nice to him. Yeah. Yeah, you have to. Because both of us for a second were like. You actually have to.

And then we're like, no. Because I don't know. I haven't had a bad experience yet, and I would like to keep it that way. I mean, you don't want me to. I don't want you to have a fucking bad trip. That sucks. You know what? I don't want you to have a bad trip either, but especially because we're in an attic right now.

And I feel like getting you down a ladder is going to be hard. No, I just catch him. Just put cushions on the bottom. It's not like being drunk. You definitely are coordinated. No, I'm just saying you might look down and the ladder is four stories long for you. You know what I mean? And I'm like, I can't tell you it's any shorter than that.

I feel like actually that is the most prominent symptom besides feeling a general underlying feeling of goodness is the first time I did it. Do you know when you have a conversation with somebody and you sort of have that like zoom in, zoom out thing almost that happens? Is that vertigo? It's not vertigo. We're finding out he truly is a robot.

Are you talking about like the effect in movies? No, it's like a sensation. It's definitely like somewhat common. Zipper probably in the studio having it right now. Anyway, you kind of get that, but way more aggressive where like everything is kind of like – You know asking your driver fish eye lens almost i don't know no i've never had that ever i'm talking about it's like that when you take mushrooms oh i thought you're talking about like in it no well you did you didn't ask there's a vaguely

similar i thought he meant in general there's a vaguely similar thing that happens no drugs that i'm describing and there's a heighteneduely similar thing that happens, no drugs, that I'm describing, and there's a heightened version of it that happens a lot. It's like the effect they do in British TV shows. What, they make his teeth all fussy? They zoom in on the face. Dolly zoom.

Mm-hmm. Speaking of getting drunk, Aiden, why do you hate Nick? Huh? Speaking of getting drunk. Oh,, why do you hate Nick? Huh? Speaking of getting drunk. Oh, yeah, bitch. I forgot. I was almost able to live a happy life thinking I had friends, but you've reminded me I have none.

Aiden got drunk as shit and just goes through his Rolodex of friends. You know, it must be fucking long. And he goes through and he goes, Ludwig, I'll send him a little. Let me send Ludwig a little love you message. Let me read you out what he wrote me. Read out what he wrote you. Anthony hey let me let me send Ludwig a little love you message let me read you out where he slides down Anthony he brought me punches Anthony a little love you message this is what I get this is what I get this is Saturday night and I get a message from Aiden and uh in the in the message reads out oh shucks shucks I'm stalling I'm stalling I got you I'll read my message out get me get me under gaming. He's like, well, he talked

in the group chat because he said some shit and I said Aiden's drunk again, which is just a clean... Wait, what did I say in the group chat? He narked on himself. Hold on, I'm scrolling up. I don't remember messaging in the group chat. Archie will help us. It's January 30th at 2.43 a.m. He just sends

smooch and then the lips emoji. Lipstick. That's how you know Aiden's drunk. When he starts virtual kissing you. Immediately said, Aiden is drunk. And then he just says,

smiley face. And then he messages me. And he says, which I posted to Twitter on poor Connor's fucking timeline. I love you, though. Give you big hug, man. And then smiley face with two mouths.

Yeah, very happy. And I said, oh, he's drunk drunk. And then he said, shut up, idiot man. Hug you, man. And then a smiley face and a heart. Yeah, he sent me a message. It was like, wish you came out. And then he sent me kiss face and then a two- Yeah, he sent me a message. It was like, wish you came out. And then he sent me kiss face

and then a two second video of nothing. Yeah, that was supposed to be a photo that I accidentally held the button too long. So it became a video and then I just sent it anyway. I love that. And he sent, what did he send you? Oh, Juan, let me, let me.

He sent me fucking nothing, dude. He just sent me no message. The explanation. Because he doesn't value me as a friend happy i'm so happy you explained your perspective because i forgot about the group chat message and in my head i was trying to remember because i knew i messaged you because i like saw you on discord or something and i think it was because that's why i said though yeah he went to his group chats. Yeah, yeah.

I talked to you. He went to his MySpace 7 and he didn't find you. Don't need to defend myself. Yeah. Well, is there any reason why? Who else did you message? Just you two. I messaged...

Hold on. I told you guys he's not as cool as you think. I fucking told you. I expect as much. I messaged you. I messaged you because you replied to me in the group chat and i messaged you because before i left i asked if you wanted to come out because you were the only one of the three of you who has even a small chance of saying yes to that offer

there was a chance i would have said yes yeah because you're you're you're not gonna go and you're not gonna go i stayed in a taxi with going to go. I stayed in a washed-out taxi with Australians instead. Oh, so you weren't with the Australians? No. You were just socializing elsewhere? Yeah, I was with other people. Oh, with normals. Yeah.

Well, no, Chris I wouldn't call. Why is he a normie? Oh, he's a normal. He's Mario. Literally every friend rides in a Mario Kart. He rides the fence, though. He lives in both worlds. Yeah.

He lives in both worlds. One. He lives in both worlds. One foot in, one foot out. And he wears it well. I think that's the best life to live. Oh, Chris, that was here that one time. Yeah, Chris, who came during the sub-a-thon. I like that guy. He's a good guy.

All right, listen. Here's another problem. The Amon family is fucking, they're on some shit. Oh, you're talking about Amon dad? Listen, let me tell you about what Aiden's dad did. And I was really confused, and today it got revealed what really happened. So old Amon dad, he messages me after he finds out that my dad died. And he sent me a really nice message.

He's like, hey, we're thinking about you. It's like, so sorry. And I was like, hey, that means a lot. Thank you. I always give Amon shit for how great his parents are. He's lucky to have you guys. We're very grateful. He has you guys in his life. And so it's just this exchange. It's like, oh, it's so nice of his parents are. He's lucky to have you guys. We're very grateful to have you guys in his life.

And so it's just this exchange. It's like, oh, it's so nice of his parents to reach out. The next day, Aiden's dad messaged me. Hope you're feeling better. What's up with the market? Everything is down. Thoughts on AMC the next 30 days? And then signs it

his name. Which is an 80-year-old man thing to do. And then, which is an 80 year old and then and then which is great right after this he sends him the wall street's bets guy waving he didn't do that but i was so confused and i was like and i i went to answer the fucking question here's what happened i went to aid and i was like what the fuck is he doing and aid's like i don't know that's so weird i was like well i'll reply to him yeah because you know he's being nice to me I forgot to reply then he messaged me today

which is a week later how you feeling? which again is like oh he's like trying to reach out he said do you up? yeah it lines up that's the thing

is that it does loosely check out he says how you feeling and then you're like oh it's going well and he's like no I meant about AMC yeah AMC though are we up? are we down down what's up so and he said how am i

feeling which a lot of people have been sending me and i'm like oh like i'm all right i'm just staying busy he replies anthony although also he uses these they're called em dashes they're like three dash lengths long yeah he uses those as like commas. It's insane. I don't know why old people are like this. Dad, I have a question. Dad, you used to text like a normal person. I don't know what happened. Your texts have become more.

I think it actually has convinced me that as I age, it just, it happens automatically. Maybe he's texting and flying. When I'm 55. I hope not. I hope not. He can't make it a straight shot. I hope he's keeping the airwaves clear.

Dude, straight shot, by the way, is the funniest thing Anthony has ever said to me. No, it's not. It literally isn't. No, hold on. The funniest thing you have ever said to me that I can never fully explain to somebody else. Like, it will never be as funny

telling it to somebody else. I tried, I think. His dad's just like, not possible. That's not how it works. Yeah, you just don't get it? I tried, I think. His dad's just like, not possible. That's not how it works. Yeah, you just don't get it. You can't do that.

He's going to Aiden. So we start thinking less. He's like, son, I know a guy. Oh, crazy bitch, Derek, he did it. I was waiting for you

to say this one day. Back in 51. It's like another movie like Flight, but it's just about the one guy who managed to send it in a straight shot. Captain Sully. But he's on coke the whole time. He just didn't turn.

It was crazy. So he messaged me immediately after I reply. Anthony, I apologize. Okay, so Anthony, M-Dash, I apologize. Ellipses. Last two bubbles. And by saying bubbles, M-dash. I apologize. Ellipses. Last two bubbles. And by saying bubbles, he means messages. Oh, my God.

I did not put that together. They pop up as bubbles. Makes sense. Last two bubbles were for another Anthony. Tony, who is our rental client, space, exclamation point, exclamation point. LOL. Ah. Not that I don't care how you are. Dude, he explains just like Aiden does line break sorry about that m dash line break this is crazy but yes ellipses lol how are you sorry for

confusion this is all in the same message line break saw the last pod dot dot dot good to see your dad there take care amon's dad what his name oh m dash how's amc i haven't checked i don't it is so nice of you to reach out if you're listening does he listen to this is he gonna listen here yeah he listens to he listens to every so i found this out about my dad my mom mom told me this. She's like, he listens to every episode like a couple times. What? And he listens to all of the Patreon content. Oh my goodness. He listens to everything.

Dude, where was your Sonic porn, Corwin? That's right. That's right. Get in there and do some work. You're not even trying. You're not even trying. The plane flies itself. Yeah.

So, hey, it means a lot that you reached out it's also really funny i'm not offended at all i am offended by the way old people type like you and i don't know why this is the way it is and i wish it would change you know what's funny is you're offended by that it was like the week after i messaged you about your dad i sent you the tony the tiger with a penis and like that in your mind like that's chill but like a couple m dashes you're like because dude if if if aiden's dad sent me that tony the tiger picture as like hey like my condolences that would have changed your life absolutely awful what happened and he sends that i'd be like yo this guy rocked corwin text me i got some pics for you yeah so uh yeah what what a family you've got yeah yeah what a

great hey i'm reading this board and i want to talk about this this is props to lud that's i don't want to it's one of my topics and i don't want to talk about it until you tell me why you're so pussy yeah you did it once a week for some reason that we would love to know. That's the mushroom app. Let's let a little fervor grow. I'll give you props when I'm high on mushrooms. That's what I'm deciding right now. That's a given.

You do that drunk high, sober. Yeah, that's true. You love Huggy. It was more specific this time. You're a Huggy bear. Lately, I thought about how we're ragging on Ludwig too much, and I saw a really nice I saw a really nice tweet about

you from Common Enemy. Is that the one you retweeted drunk? Yeah. I saw that. It means nothing. It was a nice tweet. When you're drunk, when you're the weekend, you're the fucked up. No, it's the real him, bro. That's the real me. Oh, dude, you want to hear something crazy about the weekend? We just sell shirts that say when I'm fucked up, I'm

the real me. Can we do that? Absolutely. 100%. It's 100% against copyright using a lyric. No. It's not a lyric. When I'm fucked up, it's the real me? You don't think anybody ever said that before The Weeknd? No, we're going to say, when I'm fucked up, I'm the real me.

M-I-I, and it's aiming at the fucking- I'm just letting you know, even using a lyric in a book, you have to get a clearance and you have to get a copyright license for it. But we don't put The Weeknd on it. Like, does he own that sentence forever can't no way It's not what if a book says it somewhere if it's a lyric and it could be what if it was in a book race back That we got it from the weekend, but I've never heard of that. I think guys what if what if a song says? I love you. What do you fucking want? You're trying to like gotcha me like the law. Yeah, well your honor your honor

What if I never listen to The Weeknd ever? Ever! He's doing it because you're acting like you know, which you don't. I'm just saying. The judge is like, you've never heard The Weeknd? All my knowledge comes from a Hank Green video where he talked about how he had to license

three song lyrics for a book. Bailiff, can you put on Starboy? He's listening. He's like, this is really good. Walks over to a boombox. Who is this? This is The Weeknd, you said? Yeah.

Wait. So that was a tangent. Yeah. Well, this was about The Weeknd. This is about... So we have to admit that we know. The Weeknd. We have to admit that we know about The Weeknd.

I have something about The Weeknd. I don't know who that is, but whatever you're saying. Let me explain to you something. This is a little tale. So Envy, Team Envy, the esports team, not Nick's cringy username, has a house. Why? They have a really nice house in LA. Right where, like, you know the FaZe house?

You ever see that one? Yeah. The huge, like, four-story LA mansion. They live in one. And I was doing a shoot with Schlatt and Minx. She lives there with the Botez sisters and... Miko? Miko, Miko, Miko.

You know what would be really good content for the Envy House? If Wizrobe went there and just like played against the Botez sisters in Melee for six hours straight. Saying nothing. With text chasing her. Unlimited stocks. That's awesome. It's a great idea.

Anyway, they live there. And when I was shooting with Minx at the Schlatt thing, she was like, the house is haunted. So it was like a throwaway. And I was like, oh, cool. Yeah, Minx. They're great. And I ignored it. And Connor is in town for the Ja show the germa stream that's happening

tomorrow and he was like yeah i was uh i'll stay at the envy house but uh it's fucking haunted and i was like what because i thought minx was just saying that to say that and he's like no no no it's it's really haunted and he told me the story where he uh he heard like footsteps at night i'm like whatever you hear footsteps the big house he's like and then in the morning miko's boyfriend found a note with like a nail through it that said, go. And I was like, someone fucking with you? And he's like, no, no, no, check this out.

He pulls up an article. And Zipper, you might be able to find this. It's from the weekend. He used to live in that house and he moved out because he thought it was haunted and he couldn't live there because he thought the house was haunted. So it's a guy, but his name is The Weeknd.

It's The Weeknd. It's the real Weeknd. He makes music? But it's like, it's not the two days. We've done it. There's a video of us listening to The Weeknd. On The Weeknd, you mean? Oh my God.

Anyway, that's a real thing. It's just so confusing. The house is haunted. That's crazy. Yeah, that is. And they live there. You know, I'm still in the someone's fucking with them boat, but. It's hard to believe.

But the weekend's doing it. Pull up the articles. Sorry, the arbiter of truth, the weekend. All science turns to the weekend. We don't understand. He said what he said. Every Canadian is a scientist. He's the jaw rule of 2022.

Anyway, I thought that was insane. Whatever the next 9-11 is. He's the jaw rule of 2022. Someone had to. Anyway, I thought that was insane. Whatever the next 9-11 is, let's get the weekend on the phone. Let's sleep over. Dude, I don't want to. I don't fuck with that. You don't fuck with the weekend? I don't want to fuck with spirits. Why not?

What the fuck are you talking about? I have a blessed life, Aiden. And I don't want no spirits getting their feathers rustled. What's up? What if they're blood buds? They are dead. life, Aiden. Okay. And I don't want no spirits. What if they fuck with you? What if they're blood buds? What's up? What if they're blood buds? They are dead. Yeah, I mean, half your viewers must be, you know what I mean? What?

Right here. What does that mean? What does that mean? I don't follow it. What does it mean? It makes it bad content. It's like they're dead. And they die because they watch the content? No, they're dead before because they wouldn't be enjoying it.

Why? It doesn't add up. I'm coming home. Really? No, no, no. Coming because they wouldn't be enjoying it. What? It doesn't add up. I'm coming home. He's really, no, no, no. Coming home. No. No. No, Aiden, stop.

Stop singing with him. I'm so weak. I'm so weak. Oh, man. I like this song, man. Nice, man. Aiden just got monkey spray. He likes the keys.

He's like the Jimmy Neutron episode of the monkey clap. That's like after you roast me and then you try to shake my hand. And I just, I want to do it. Dude, recently, recently Aiden was telling me about a girl problem. I just sent him the clip from Call of Duty World at War

of the monkey bomb just clapping. Yeah. That's all I sent him. I'm like, that's you. That's always our response to Aiden

because his girl problems are always like, ah, she's definitely just sounds like it's not right for me. He's like, we're incompatible. I'm like,

oh great, then stop talking to her and he's like, but the monkey in my brain that wants to talk is clapping symbols with one hey i think you do great with women right here brother right here cap oh you know i did i i i think i had so the i don't want to bring this up like i'm like i'm complaining about getting ghosted because that happens all the time in the world of dating ghosting is to be expected and that's fine it's every day bro happens all the time but but his phone is the goddamn envy house right now yeah thank you yeah at least you get a job there but i think i had the first person ghost because they figured out what i do, specifically the podcast.

That's my theory with the situation. Because I was talking to somebody and we were messaging back and forth and they're messaging me a lot. We probably talked for like 30 minutes to an hour, like nonstop. So it's a lot of messages going on. That's pretty serious at this point. No, I just mean like usually your replies are like way more spread out like maybe somebody replies to you like twice a few times a day and like something like that right morning but this person is texting a lot within that period of time baby and then there's

like uh you're hot they're they're really funny so they're easy to get along with because we're just like kind of going back and forth and uh that makes the conversation easy that's cool uh they've seen avengers that was part of it too, right? You were like, and she's seen Avengers. Yeah, and we talked a lot about, she's a big fan of Jesse Eisenberg. I like Spider-Man. That's how you flirt.

That's A-Man's game. And then she's like, A-Man's game is trash. I like him, dude. Will you? She's like, nice! I think Into the Spider-Verse is the best spider-man movie and will you fuck me yeah and that works about 85 of the time they just send you a picture of their

tits anyway be so crass be crass i'm sorry don't talk how you wouldn't talk off the podcast yeah you're i am modest off at the end of the... What I didn't think was the end of the conversation, there's like a joke about going on, like us meeting up. And I'm like, yeah, if you want to go out or figure something out, why don't you message me on Instagram or text me? I send them both to her.

And then she sends me one more joke message about stalking on Instagram or something. And then sends me a text. So she has texted me. And I reply to the text. And then she just never responds to the text. She sends one more message on Hinge. She's like, Aiden, we have a mutual. And I'm like, that's weird.

Who would we both know? And then she sends another message. Oh, wait. one more message on hinge she's like aiden we have a mutual and i'm like that's weird like who who would we both know and then she's like and then she sends another message oh wait they only follow you like you don't follow them and i'm like yeah i'm sorry like i don't know who that is because she names the person and uh and then uh i send like one more text after that but she never replies again and in my head i'm like why would someone who like talked to me like that consistently for that long just stop messaging all of a sudden? And then I realized she probably DM'd the guy who's a fan because the guy she knows is just a fan who follows me, presumably from this. And then what could he possibly say? Like, oh, yeah, he's like a weird guy from the podcast I watch

oh you're talking about Mr. Shingle Boy I'm intro'd as Shingle Boy he cocked you I'm just like and he's been trying to hit for a long time oh you don't want to give up with that guy he's like no Sarah he's the cringe one I woke up

Amy's cringy listen to me he makes up like theme songs about himself and stuff it's like or she hates that guy but like falls in and so if she's like oh it's something that he likes this guy that did happen to me once I think

a girl who I went on a date with in Calgary ghosted me after she saw the one mutual friend I had I like that. That's crazy. I asked my friend, I asked my friend,

who I've known almost my entire life, and he's like, yeah, she hated me in school, dude. I was like, okay, that definitely checks out. That's like when I lost a sponsor because I had a pig with ammo. That's right. We're the same.

It's just like that, but the business version of it. I just thought it was interesting because this is the first time, this is the first time I think the podcast has hurt me one day i walked by amon because so amon has his laptop and it's like connect to a monitor in the office and uh so he uses iMessage with his computer yeah so he types out so i can see him like typing out messages and i walk by it he's typing a paragraph. You get some long ones in there. And he's describing what the podcast is in this paragraph.

Because I just glance over and I can see like, What was this? Ha ha, it's called The Yard. It's actually a pod. And he's just describing it. And I'm like, It's me, my friends, Nick, Slime, and Ludwig. We form a quadruplet of beautiful content.

Hold on, hold on. Actually, so we met. It makes it sound like I intentionally try to plug this shit when in reality, I try to avoid it as long as possible. And she's like, whatever, can we just have sex?

And you're like, no, hold on. So Ludwig's actually bigger than all of us, but since starting the show... It's the baseball arm over. So, yeah. No! No! The only reason it was so funny

is just because it was a hamburger of fucking, it was a big bubble, as your dad would say. I only send long messages if they send long messages. It wasn't reply to a long message, which means she ain't worth your time.

Eamon's a chameleon, so if they long message, he long message. If they short message, he short message. But what if they long dick? Then he goes, oh shit,

I don't have enough. I'm out. I'm out. I'm out of fishing line. This is totally unrelated, but I want to exit this conversation. You guys know who Kaylin Corey is? Yeah. She DM'd me and Nick, and she's like, I think you guys would like this. And it was a shirt.

It was a vintage shirt. And I thought it was nice. Who is that? Who is this? Kaylin Corey. Kaylin Corey is part of the Corey twins. No, I'm with the twins. Siblings?

They're like years apart. Oh, yeah. This is a cool shirt. They're content creators. Yeah, it says The Yard. It says The Yard. Show the fucking people in the back. Wait, let me see.

Where are the stains? I think it's just... Camden Yards? What's that? They can't hear you. it's just Camden Yards what's that they can't hear you that's kind of cool the Camden Yards is a baseball stadium I thought it was

I was not this so this is my yard merch okay yeah well we're also releasing that will never nope it's just this one

take the last minute or so put that all on TikTok unedited just that whole thing yeah and it will be unavailable

I had a moment I had a moment this week where I was like, I'm having too good of a day. I'll go look at our TikTok comments. I need to put a little scuff on this shit. I need to get mad about something.

There's the one where you're lighting people up for having personalities that are only quoting TikToks. And all the comments are hitting back. People are mad. They don't like that. Well, they probably just quoted Vines all the time.

Real shit. Adam. And they're coming from the guys who just say Twitch emotes all the time. That's fair. Fair criticism. No. It's the girl and the daggers my thoughts were one one didn't randomly quote vines thought that shit was cringe back then when somebody just in the

middle of a blank conversation whipped out like what the fuck is up kyle i'm like dude shut the fuck up it's tiktok comments are the daggers and then it's the u.s soldiers are the patreon and then it's us but then i thought about it more and i was like i i say kitty man like a psychiatric patient every day we all got our things i think the problem is that the people that use that quote things in place of words are just generally not funny so it kind of grates on you but they're also just using it to connect with other unfunny people like a call sign and it's like it's annoying and it's stupid but it's like what you have to tell yourself to sleep at night is that hey they're just having fun but it's hard to do that yeah and i think it's totally chill i think the the main the main underlying idea i

had in my head was like the the context of the quote is what matters like if you if you say it at the right time but then i just thought about it more and like we make up our own dumb shit that i say but that's better no thought it's better because it's because it's hard it's harvested from the earth hey uh here's what i think by our means Organically farmed. I think that the beautiful culture of TikTok evolves so fast, but the things that hit big, that hit mainstream, are cringe by the time they hit mainstream. So I remember I thought this because I went to the Patriots game, and at the Patriots game, there was two groups of people.

One, while we were waiting in line to get let through, was chanting, let's go Brandon. And then the other was going, joe byron right now and this is after joe jonas in the jonas brothers killed the joe byron meme oh and i was like you guys are outdated so that was more where i was coming from because if you're hitting me with that new shit i mean that's that's like what bunth does dude yeah bunth has his finger on the pulse but normies are just like disgusting subhuman creatures that don't have any barometer

Bradstats I'm begging you do not put that one on TikTok do not put that one on TikTok it's going to go very poorly do you think he's normie? did you ask that question genuinely? yeah I'm going around wait let me go around do you think he's normie?

do you think I'm normie? No. Do you think I'm normie? No. I think you're wrong. You guys, look, I've been listening to the radio, okay? No one here, no one listening on this podcast. I'm doing the math in my head right now. That's right.

So I've been driving a car around with no Bluetooth in it, so I'll just put on the radio. I don't care. And listening to the radio is what a lot of people do, and these are the people I'm talking about. Talk about, like, boomers. Not only boomers. I think normies is usually a term used for younger people

who wouldn't listen to the radio because they're younger but are a different subsect. No. It has nothing to do with younger or old. We have been called out a lot of times for using the word normie to describe these people as well and i'm actually wondering do you guys think that word is a poor descriptor is there a better equivalent here's why they should never be mad because they should be happy to be normals right it just means that they have like more of a life you just call them subhuman yeah but that's me just like lashing out at them right yeah it's

like it's basically like, this freak's calling me a normie? It's like, yeah, I'm a freak. You should be happy to be subhuman lizard. This is a good thing. And I'm only saying that you're subhuman. You know what I'm saying? There's always another group.

You're literally identifying yourself as worse in the social totem pole. So let me be me! I think most people no matter who like if you ever self describe yourself as normie there's like a group of people somewhere who are like like like if you call someone else or me someone will call you normie like and it's like a forever spider-man meme and that's hype though cuz now you get that you get to have a fucking face off yeah of who's more of a freak well it's more like you just say it.

No, I'm a loser! I think the best way to identify normie versus not normie is if someone needs it to be explained to them, they are one. Yeah. And if someone innately understands it, like, the first time they hear it, they are not one. That is, like, the easiest way for me to identify. I think that's just an understanding of what it is. But I think generally you don't want to be normie because the opposite is like counterculture and cool and like the next shit that's not like mainstream

cringe. Yeah. I don't know that. Right. Is it like, do you only literally just know what is like the hottest meme on Tik Tok? Cause it got to the front page or like, are you in the shit?

Are you looking at like weird Scottish mics in the shit, you know? I think it's just like your ability to use the internet to explore outside of the demographics that you are like isolated by just around you. Yeah, currently. Yeah, but even before the internet there were people who were like they were part of like clubs where

they would get together and like ride three wheeled cars and they were like we're the three wheeled cars together and like ride three-wheeled cars and they were like we're the three-wheeled cars boys and they tell you about it and he's like an accountant but then like you get him talking about three-wheeled cars boys he's like oh dude i could talk your ear off if you want me to that was their new grounds that was their new ground that was their melee that was their whatever right but now there's just like so many little fucking corners just like cum filled and crusted that you can just live in. I think, you know, what makes me feel good is like no matter who calls me normie, I could probably dice them up in melee.

Yeah, that's hype. And they always think they're nice. Yeah. I. But everyone thinks they're nice. You're not a normie if you've also seen that ISIS video. Yeah. That's a good metric.

That's my. That's Yeah. That's a good metric. That's my, that's a very, if you've seen that, you've done some digging. Or you were at least on LimeWire at the time. Or you're like a 70-year-old New York Times journalist.

And that's not a good metric. Yeah, I was gonna say, or you're Isabel Young. And shout outs to the 15 people who watch The Yard that also get that. Because I don't. I don't know what the fuck he's talking about. you talking about can I tell you guys we talked about some merch

wardrobe let me say one sentence and take over I mixed Aiden's shit on melee yesterday go ahead he wanted to say something please I'll take it from here you won two games so it was every week you did this shit the whole thing makes sense, bro.

He beat my Falco. He beat my Falco in a game. You made Falco for a long time. Your Falco is actually... I would say it's his second best character. I was literally turning around to talk to Josh while we played. Were you asking him for tips, at least? I also 6-0'd these clowns and Astro Bears.

Just move on to the next thing. Just move on to the next thing. Move on to the next thing. Did you say Astro Bears? Please move on to the next thing. We played this new game called Astro Bears. I love that name. It's sick.

It's actually, you love it. It's like 3D Snake, where it's like on a globe, a small globe. You would be infuriated by it. I love bears. And it's like Snake, where if you hit someone's tail, you lose. But it's very competitive. You'd like Igor. And I just, I mixed their shit.

No, he did not. No, he did not. I 6-0'd. Oh, my God. I won six straight. Is that true? Yeah. And I won the most shit. No, he did not. No, he did not. I 6-0'd. Oh, my God. I won six straight. Is that true? Yeah. And I won the most of anyone in the...

This guy is trying to gaslight his way into... I don't know if that's true. I don't know about that stutter. And he genuinely thinks this isn't true. It's honestly... Instead of, like, trying to protect his ego. Hey, I'm going to make a call to just shatter him real quick to a nice Australian. I like to call Don B.

Oh, yeah. This is your guy that remembers all things. This is my guy. Hey, I can call Sock after. Actually, the speaker is on the top. I figured this out. I actually can't wait for this call. Yeah, it's here. This is the speaker. Yeah. Oh, that's amazing. I can't wait for this call because I have the

perfect counter argument. Okay. I hope he answers. Daniel, don't fail me now. Daniel might be sleepy time. No way. Bedtime. He'll be on the rift, though. Alright, so while we're figuring this don't fail me now don't let me sleepy time bedtime alright so while we're figuring this out could you bring up the picture I sent you so this has to do with

clothing and such I bought $800 with a lululemon I pissed all over myself what you pissed all over yourself so half of that is piss so let me get this straight slime has never really been into What? Wait, you pissed all over yourself? Okay, so half of that is piss. Wait, hold on. So let me get this straight. So Slime's never really been into buying expensive clothes,

but at some point he got really into buying Lululemon pants. They're extremely short. Shorts and pants. He bought a bunch of pairs, and recently it's actually one of the most sad I've heard him. He spilled coffee, was it? Yeah. All over his Lululemons,

and in the call he's like, my Lululemons. It's because they're really him. He spilled like coffee, was it? Yeah. Like all over his Lululemons. And in the call, he's like, oh, my Lululemons. It's because they're really bad. You're so sad. He says that, and we're all in the Discord, and he like drops the mic, and everyone starts busting up laughing. Yeah. Because we're just like, I cannot believe he just said that. Yeah, you know what I did? It's funny because he's cut up about losing the brand that my

mom and grandma were getting into 10 years ago oh yeah did they have fucking bread because it's expensive yes yeah so that's all i'm saying i mean i care so you so you showed it so me and your mom and grandma yeah who are beautiful lovely have bread lovely and that's all i'm here and look and look i'm not roasting you for buying them that's totally fine but you just keep spilling different elements on them. I'm learning what it's like to have to care about what I'm wearing on my body. How did you pee yourself?

I feel like we're ignoring this. See, I was at the Sprouts, and I fucking pee. And it's one of those long pees where you haven't peed in a while. Yeah, and you're just like, damn, the queue's about to pop. Yeah, and the Gatorade bottle's out, and it's like, I need another. And so you know how when that happens some pee at the very end like it's like your peep is like it's like kind of like the muscle feels like it's no longer working but it's still the pee still coming out yeah and it's like it's really tired yeah it's like it's too much and so at the end of your pee there will be some pee that's

coming out but you can't really detect it with your body yeah it's phantom piss you know exactly what you're talking about yeah and so so that happens right and i just get pissed all over because i'm putting my dick back into my they're joggers they're lulu joggers i get pissed all over and i'm like and dude it's just so and like i don't have a jacket i don't have literally anything walk out with his piss all over and in the sprouts the bathroom's in the back and i still have shit to buy you walk ashamed so I have to like... You haven't shopped yet? So here's what I... Yeah, because I had to pee so bad.

So here's what I did. Bring up the picture again. I was like, here's what I'll do. I'll pretend and make it look like I spilled water all over myself. Oh, yeah. You're supposed to wet your hands, then wipe it on the sides. Yeah. And then spread it out.

I think we had an episode where I said I did exactly this. You have to make it look like a handprint. But so bad it looks really because i walked in you didn't do these joggers are really bright and so i walk in and then i'm walking out with like fucking piss town and i i had to just look down and be like all right i'm ready this is who i am now yeah i want you to know that the way you describe that is actually not that relatable as somebody with foreskin it It literally works different. Yeah, what we do is we tie it up with like a string. Yeah.

And then it just- It feels like a balloon. It fills up. And then next time we go pee, we just pop it off. Yeah. And it goes like, psst. Like when a balloon is getting let go. Yeah.

Yeah. And it makes the sound. Uh-huh. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And if you stretch it, it makes a fart. Well, if you have too much pee, you start to back up because physically it's shooting out. Right.

And we're like, whoa. It's like in space. A lot of pressure. Yeah. And so we're good, idiots. Dude, what's the Patreon goal for you guys docking? You know what? Is that before or after?

I think it's about time you fellows do a Patreon goal. Okay? I'm on Tattoo World. It's him now. We each have done two, right? Yes, that's true. We did edible app. I have not done shit.

It's his turn. It's my turn. I'm at one. You're at two. You can't say you guys because he did one. I mean, we're still at two. He's at one. Oh, by the way, tattoo episode is happening in March.

I have booked our appointment. It's like towards the beginning of March. He's about to do one. We've done two. We're about to do two. So you need to start getting on it. We keep growing. You got to. It's like towards the beginning of March. He's about to do one. We've done two. We're about to do two. So you need to start getting on it. We keep growing. It's impossible.

Yeah, that's what I keep telling myself, and then you fucks keep signing up. You got to do something here, kiddo. Well, what do I do? I don't know. You tell me. It's not my job. Shave your asshole every year.

I dock. Every year? That's the thing. You can dock in someone, but you can't be... You know what? Leave a goddamn comment in the goddamn about what you want anything to do for 20,000 patrons. Let's chill out. Let's make it 1750.

I literally think 20,000 will never happen. It'll definitely happen. No, it's impossible to go 5,000 more. 1705. I'm down. To dock with 17,500. I'm down. To dock with me? Look, I'm down for 17,500. If you guys want to see that.

No. No. He doesn't want to. I don't want to. Why? Because that would be Aiden's third, bro. Now I'm hurt.

It's like how docking with somebody is like how people in rural towns used to imagine losing their virginity. It's supposed to be with somebody who's special.

Maybe even somebody you're married to. We don't have to be hard. I would brick up. I couldn't control it. We don't have to be hard. We can be little gummy worms. I don't have to control that. It's like that thing that has the water

and it squishes you with the glitter and you put your penis in it when you're a kid. It's like one of those. I never did that, but I wish I did. You never put your penis in it? I wish I did. Dude. Because I never had one that

was mine and i'm not gonna take somebody else and put it to work he's he was talking about he was talking about getting pee on himself and i was thinking about this as soon as you said it because i needed to know because this won't be relatable for the two of you because you pee you pee standing up even no i pee sitting down you do pee sitting down? We have a bidet now. Okay, this might be relatable. I mean, I do too, but I was in the urinal. When you sit down to pee, have you ever sat down so fast and like with your legs like this?

So your dick is kind of up still. And then you pee, you start peeing. Out of the toilet? So it comes through the crack. Through the crack. Through the crack. And then you do it start out of the toilet so it comes the crew crack yeah crack Yeah, and then you do it for like a few seconds, and it starts kind of getting everywhere on the floor At the sound it just kind of sounds like you're hitting the silent side of the course, but it still sounds like you're just So you'll go for it, and you're just there's this like that Four-second window where you're just kind of confused. And then you realize.

And then you realize how much pee covers area. Yeah. Dude, so fast. And then you look. So fast. Oh no, there's not enough toilet paper to clean this one up. Dude, it is actually the one risk of peeing sitting down. What I do is I, every time I just put my hands right in between my balls and my thigh.

And I just like, like to get it like all the way down. Like a Hot Wheels track? Yeah. Yeah. That's why I. why i lied it in you have to like remember but every few months i'll forget i'll go i'll go like too fast you ever uh dude you ever close like in tom and jerry i i do realize now that i mentioned tom and jerry like every episode it's like you close right he's fucking he's playing the piano he closed the goddamn thing on his hands

It's that but it's a toilet seat on your foreskin no How would that happen? There's a mouse does it for you? You're sitting on the toilet they close it Let's walk through it You're sitting down the toilet, huh? And then you start you close the lid that you're sitting on sitting on No, and then you close the lid that you're sitting on. Sitting on. No, no, you don't do it. The mouse does. The mouse.

So the mouse from Tom and Jerry comes into the bathroom. Yeah, Jerry. And he grabs the lid. He's holding it. He's like, okay, so I'm going to need you to sit, kind of sit on the lid while I'm holding it. He's speaking perfect English. But he's a mouse, so he's using his whole body to stand between the seat. And you're kind of just like, hmm.

Is this a fever dream? Do I have to hold my dick out so it puts it there, or does he pull it out? You have to be playing the piano, but you're a game. And a toilet seat. Right. I wouldn't want him to touch my dick. That happens all the time. Did Tom and Jerry end up talking in really later episodes?

Did I imagine that? I think in the movie they might have. In like the newer version of the show, they talked. If they talked, then it wasn't real. I got a man on the phone to talk about a thing. Oh. Hold on. Archie, if you could.

He wants a video. Hey, what's up, bud? What's going on, man? I need Donnie. I need Donnie. He's here too. Donnie is the leader of this. Nick likes to specifically pick someone out that he thinks will verify his story.

Go ahead. Go ahead, Nick. Hey, what's up, guys? No, you tell them. You tell them. Oh, okay. Fellas, you remember Astro Bears? I just want you to tell me, honestly, who you think was cracked. The GO okay. Fellas, I just, you remember Astro Bears. I just want you to tell me honestly who you think was cracked.

The GOAT. If I won six straight, is that true or false? Go ahead. I was really stoned. But you kind of like came up to me at one point. Like, no, go left there. Take parallel lines. Parallel lines.

And then you're like, I just remember you kind of hogging the controller a lot. And I was like, I'm going to fucking pass it off to someone. What's going on? That's what I'm of hogging the controller a lot and I was like I'm gonna fucking pass it off to someone what's going on because I'm winning and I'm like and you kind of made it

a really weird thing but I think it was you were like I think it's like a party game so counting wins everyone did think it was kind of weird

that you did that but like dude other than that I think you played really well that's sick guys Miles do you have anything to add in? Yeah, Ludwig's pretty good at the Astro Bez game.

Okay, so the one guy who says you're pretty good, that's interesting. Thank you, boys. Hey, it's all right. Anytime, man. Shout out to the side bed Discord, man. Yeah, join up, join up. Yeah, so we have three people in the group.

Two saying Ludd is smoking piss and balls, and then one of them who's saying he's pretty cracked. Is that what they were saying? One of the things, yeah, he's pretty cracked. Or did he say, I'm stoned? Zipper, can you pull up the picture I sent you before this show? This was the same day. The same person, we were going to a restaurant together, and I said, Miles, Miles, do you have a mask? And he goes, yeah, yeah, I have a mask.

I'm like, are you sure? And he's like, yeah. I asked him twice. I don't know why. I had a feeling. And we roll up, and then he pulls this out of his pocket and he goes i thought this was a mask and he had it and he just had a napkin and this is the guy who remembers you being cracked by the way this is the exact same day zipper pulled the pictures oh my god it's an info war there's no way there's a counter argument.

Send up the two picture zipper. It's called receipts, gentlemen. Oh no, I know what he's gonna show. Did you forget? This is a different night though. This is the first night. Did you forget about my W's? No, this is a different night. This is a different night. Okay, but will that matter? No, because I still mix this shit. This is a photo of him. He's like, this is a different night

you owned me. This is a photo of him winning one match. No. This is all the same. Okay, you're Aki here? He's Aki. I'm a... Me. Me at the back. Two points behind.

Wait, we'll get into this, but he's a Cybear user, which is like playing Jigglypuff. And Aki's kind of like... There's three Cybears on screen. And I'm the Cybear destroyer. So basically, Cybear, it has the most fucking worst stats in the game. Like, you can barely turn. You barely have no jetpack. But you get two lives. Everyone else has one game like you can barely turn you barely have no jetpack but you

get two lives everyone else has one so you can hit a line without dying so you trade bad stats for two lives and then aki is just cracked in almost every metric but has one life he actually

is only good at he's like fox he's like yeah yeah yeah anyway i fucking or eagles like i turned everybody off the cyber meta nick won't just give it to me he won't just give it to

me and say i was the goat ludwig is not the okay you're good but not the goat who's the goat probably some Nick won't just give it to me. He won't just give it to me and say I was the goat. Ludwig is not the goat. Who's the goat? Probably some other dude. Are you going to give it to yourself after losing six straight to me? I'm like the Isaiah of this game. Oh my god. His ego. His hubris. I feel like goats don't

lose the game. Let's settle this shit after your fucking podcast. Let's go down there. Astro Bears? Heads up. Heads up Astro Bears. The four of us get involved with some I'm down cuz Nick well he'll never give it to you he just never gives it up you all sort of all do

that but you do that about real stuff what's up I do it all the time no no you know the problem is you you give up at a very particular time you give up once you have something that you

care about more daddy like it's like you're like you're like fuck it you guys never fucking be be a broke bro and then you can pump big streamer and you're like yeah I don't care about that

anymore I don't care about that anymore. I don't know. I'm rich now. Who fucking cares? Amen. Fuck you. You got a business to run. Yeah.

That's why you just don't. The way you don't get owned by Ludwig is you have to stop caring like he stops caring. Yeah. And he secretly cares. Yeah. But you have to show yourself that you don't care. You know what I found out? I was talking to Cutie. This was on her stream the other night, actually.

She was saying that ludwig when he farts in front of her he like strains himself like he really tries like he's got these like the forehead vein guy popping out uh-huh and i'm like that's really interesting because he doesn't do that around me and there's two reasons i posited to her that why this happens right one i'm the alpha and he knows that if he's coming at me. So true. I'm fucking, I'm just going to rip his head off. You're not going to piss in his litter box.

Right. Right. Like, are you kidding me? What's the second theory though? The second theory is that he refuses to do this around me because he wants to act like it's not something we should be doing. I have a third. Like he's a proper boy.

Hit him with a third. I throw a third. It's possible Ludwig views this as a sexual act. I like that third. Like he's a proper boy. Hit him with a third. It's possible Ludwig views this as a sexual act. I like that one. Do you? So when you're standing in the doorway mom I threw up style. And she's just like

in bed trying to go to sleep and you're like hey. And then you start grunting and then you let out a pitiful fart. Well, that's not how, the only time I really fart in front of her is when she's live, and it's always the same joke.

I go, do you hear that? And then she'll always say, what? And then I fart. Okay. And every time she falls for it, because I do it once every two months. So this is only on live stream? Yeah, it would never be like us in bed,

and then I hit her with a... Okay. But every morning she hears it, because every morning I get up, I get out of bed, I walk over to my toilet with my heated bidet seat, I sit down, and I let a five-second fart rip. And she hears it every morning. Because I know, because the moment I get up, she wakes up.

She's a light sleeper. And I just go... How long were you guys dating before you would have that going? Before we dated. No. Yeah. She actually said it was an ick for her. Yeah.

I feel like that's reasonable. She overcame that. We were live and we were IRL streaming in L.A. with her friends. Yeah, I remember that. This was before we dated. One of the first few times we had met. We were touring a museum. And while I was there, I hit her with, this is the first time I did,

I said, do you guys hear that? I was like, no. And I ripped ass. Chat loved it. She hated it. What did she do? What was her reaction? She was just like, that's gross.

And then later she was like, it really was gross. Far was a punchline. And I still do it to this day. And I'm not changing for nobody. I don't back down. That's part of who I am. No, I won't back down. I'm talking about that again. That was on stream. I'm talking about

you guys not live streaming. You're in the bathroom and you're like you could you could get away with not farting or you could go like downstairs or somewhere else and not have her hear that. Can I ask you guys a question? Were you ever concerned about doing that? That would be ridiculous. Be honest with me. No.

I would just fart on the toilet close to me. You know how sometimes you go down the toilet and you just kind of fart into the toilet? Yeah. That's all you do. Do you guys flush sometimes? No. Bill? Wait.

I don't sit down just to fart. I almost always pee. You sit down maybe to shit and it doesn't work or something. Or maybe it's like, yeah, I didn't actually shit. You just fart. I've never done that, no. But I will wipe. should like you sit down maybe to shit and like it doesn't work or something or like maybe it's like yeah I didn't have to I didn't actually shit you just I've never done that no but I will

wipe. Oh you'll wipe you wipe after a fart and then if I throw toilet paper and I'll flush that down sometimes if I don't shit I'll run the

bidet. Sometimes I just do it by habit where I just I just flush the toilet because I've because I've done the motion shit California citizen he is.

I'm also such a good California citizen. I never flush. You should have grown up saving water. Hold on. We're ignoring what he said. I'm a good citizen. He doesn't flush his pee. It's a European thing.

They're disgusting animals. You don't flush your pee, yeah. We're in a drought, fuckers. Just smell like piss. Fuck yeah. Can't even understand you through your accent. You know what's funny? You say that.

Do you ever see the show Lock Up Raw? No. It sounds like a hot show Lock Up Raw? No. It sounds like a hot show. It was on TV for a while, back when TV was something you watched as a teenager. No, it wasn't. It was a reality show where they just did inside look at prisons. It was literally just like a prison live show. Right.

And they'd interview inmates and all this stuff. It was addicting. And there was this one guy. He was really outspoken and really verbose. And he was like, he was a bald guy, mustache. I still remember this. He's in his cell. He's like, so, you know, this is how we do that.

I think it was like on drugs or something. How we do it, you know, we keep it clean. This is my shelf. This is where I arrange my things. This is my toothbrush. Okay. You know, we're not animals in here. Okay.

I go over, if I got a fart, I go over to the toilet, you know, I fart and then I flush it. Okay. We're not animals in here. And I remember hearing that and I was like, who the fuck does that? Me and him. That was Nick. That was Nick in prison.

Nick was watching this and he was like, I'm going to start doing that. I was like, there's others. When you go to jail, hopefully you and that guy are bugs. They're going to be like, new guy knows. Anyway, fellas, let me tell you, Susan hit me up about doing the pod. That's such a bad idea. Wait, what? Actually?

She hit you up. Well, through somebody. Let me tell you specifically what she said in the bonus. Oh, shit. Wait, is that time? Do you think I do it because I'm guessing? We just hit 90? Just like that?

We just off the back? We'll tell you in the bonus, fellas. And you know what else we'll tell you? Is the real reason why Ludwig shaved his ass. We don't need two. Every single week. Anyway, check out the Patreon bonus episode. Corwin, we'll see you there.

And get the merch in a couple hours. If you want to get that merch, it should be almost out, I guess, because it was a couple hours from when it releases. If you're an early bird and you're crazy like that like that 1 p.m p.s no 3 1 p.m it's a time who knows thanks for watching everybody see you next week bye