The Yard - Ep. 31 - We took mushrooms and tried to podcast...

Episode Date: February 9, 2022

Thanks for 15,000 patrons! This episode Ludwig and Aiden take magic mushrooms and do their best to podcast at a 4th grade level.

to to to kind of cap this off guys if you are thinking about doing something like psychedelics just make sure you're doing whatever you do like safely with people that care about you that you're feel comfortable around don't jump into it don't do it because you think it's cool because you saw fucking these two jamokers do it just honestly make an informed decision about shit like this that you do and if you don't that's totally fine too no one's gonna fucking make or don't do it or don't do it yeah just don't do that's my that's my serious slime moment of the week my degrassi teacher is like don't force yourself. And JT, I'm coming for you next.

You like that? Why did it clap three times? I get it because there's going to be a lot of that, but let's be honest. When you take mushrooms, the drug. Okay. Hold on. Hold on.

You didn't want to be overt? Susan, we're taking mushrooms. All right. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Wait. You didn't want to be overt? Susan, we're taking mushrooms. The drop. When you eat those delicious foods. Is it illegal, Zipper? Can we get a Google? Can we get a fact check? Am I breaking a law for consuming this in the state of California?

We allegedly took the... It's a prop. Okay. We took a prop. Zipper is nodding absolutely no. So we have to... We have to... He's saying...

Yeah, yeah, yeah. We have to allegedly take it, and we have to allegedly say take it safely. Yeah, 100%, guys. Or actually, that's not allegedly. Actually, no. Don't take fucking anything. If you're out there in the audience,

you're out there in the audience, and your hot-ass mom is watching with you for the first time, and she's like, are they doing drugs? Are you just talking to your mom? She's like, oh, damn, look at that bald guy. Like, what is his info?

Where can I find him? Yeah. And you tell her that. You's like, oh, damn, look at that bald guy. Like, what is his info? Where can I find him? And you tell her that. You tell her, one, exactly what my info is. And two, you understand that we do not want you to do what we have done. If from this podcast you never have sex with the viewers, mom is a waste. Me? Yeah.

Yeah, 100%. I think that that's one of the goals. It was to make a million dollars and to just bang one out with a lovely, lovely. Welcome back to the trying to fuck your mom podcast. Episode 400 still no luck. Any viewers want to call in? Exter, you got to reply, man. I'm a great lover. That's all I'm saying.

And I do have Exter's mom's info because he's so young. He had to have his mom give me her info. That's who I technically pay when we pay Exter, who will no longer get paid because he ran the young. Yeah. He had to have his mom give me her info. That's who I technically pay when we pay extra, who will no longer get paid because he ran the gambit against you. No, it was a meme. Really? Yeah, of course.

I'm soft. For context, Ludwig gets diced up by this 15-year-old kid who plays Puff. He's a mod in Ludwig's chat. My Fox. Yeah, in Ludwig's Fox. He gets diced up, gets mad, says, run it back, best of five.

No, I said run it back, and then stream after, because I just like fake rage and stream is fake. I was faking it. Yep. And he went live, and I said, let's play. I beat him 8-0. Oh. He switches characters like three times.

Just crush him. Fox the whole time. Oh, yeah. Then I say, he says, he flexes. After getting 8-0'd, he goes, I won on the big stage. Oh, okay. Because he won on my stream, and I had like 13K viewers. True shit.-0'd, he goes, I won on the big stage. Oh, okay. Because he won on my stream, and I had like 13k viewers. True shit.

I'm like, bro, I snooze. Oh, shit, I lost the local that four people went to. Oh, no. So then I said, you know what? Tomorrow's LACS. Let's do a best of five. Yeah. If I win, you lose mod.

If you win, I'll double your pay. He 3-0'd, just gets crushed. Okay. But I'm too weak. I didn't remove his mod however I am having auto make a little thing that

will say Xer worse than Ludwig no that's pretty sick I like that little follow you are incredibly petty which is awesome here yeah there's if you were in his position you would

definitely be like well I want on the big stage you would do the same fucking thing yeah but well not if I got 8-0 yeah no I thought about I was like especially running do those mods made a lot of money yeah I checked that because there's a Yeah, but not if I got 8-0. Yeah, no. I thought about it. I was like, here's running.

Dude, those mods made a lot of money. Yeah. I checked because there's a PayPal that goes directly to Ludwig's donations. And in the beginning of the year, he's like, this will all go to the mods. How much do my mods get paid? How much do they get paid this month as a group? Yeah, there's about 17 mods, and it gets divided evenly. Yeah.

And so there's a slush fund each month that gets dumped out and paid out to them. For the month of January, what do you think that amounts? How much does one mod make if there's 17? Wait, which question? The pool or one mod? We'll do that. One mod, how much do they make? In a month.

In a month. This past month specifically. Because it's variable. I'm going to say, I'm going to say like $3,200. I'm going to say $2,200. You guys ought to chill the fuck out. This is one of those things. I'm trying to be excited.

They built it up. They make a lot. You just said it was a lot. That would be $50K total raise, which means $600K a year. I think this is a good test because this is like how people who don't perceive the money. You guys don't know how money works. Do you realize what I would have said if you didn't go like, they make a lot. I would have said way less than that.

What would you have said? It's hard to know now that I have it. I think I would have said like, oh, 500 bucks. They make like 1,200. Yeah, so I'm like, anyway. Which I thought was a lot. He collected 25 grand in January and that gets dispersed among the mods I thought you maybe had a freak month for donation. It was 25 great

I'm like, okay. I'll go it is a free you know how I approach this 50k your salary That seems crazy like the way I approached this was like I asked the question in my head Like when someone comes up to you and says like you hear how much fucking Ludwig makes a month on Twitch or whatever on YouTube Yeah, and that you that number is usually followed by a high number and you go that's crazy bro I work a job and that whole conversation so I use that logic to be like they said a lot I'm thinking about that I was like it's probably a really high he was trying to win the game yeah and it's more of a tee up that we're trying to get you to fail and do a rational thing and then tell you the irrationally high number this is like when we this is this is the same situation when somebody's like

you'll never believe how much, guess, guess, how much money was it or how much of this thing. They want you to be wrong. It's like a billion. Like a billion. Well, now my actual number is not.

Go fuck yourself. Don't say a billion. There's a whole, like really old college humor sketch that is this. Yeah. The whole conversation. Dude.

You know what? They didn't miss all the time. They didn't always miss. They had some hits. Back when they got, at the end of the video, it would all the time. They didn't always miss. They had some hits. Back when they got at the end of the video, it would go, whoa,

they were still pretty good. This week, I hadn't done this before. I went to a bar in LA and they have a room like in the back that they use for like shows or standup nights that I didn't know about. You just walked back and shot up that day. Or getting beat off.

So it's like a speakeasy standup place in the back? Yeah, it's like, do you know where Red Room is? Yeah, I know where that is. So you went to an L.A. bar and you shot up. Yeah. You shot up in the back. And then we all laid down together as a collective.

Is it like a glory hole situation? And then this Charles Manson-looking fuck came around. Babies crawling on the ceiling. It was crazy. It was awesome. It was a stand-up show. It was a stand-up show in the back and we just happened to get there in time for the last act which was just starting and it was adam conover from college humor is that adam ruins everything yeah yeah and i watched him do his whole set hate him you don't like that everything i just don't

like adam ruins everything well i think that i think some of the episodes, the earlier ones were really good. Yeah. You could tell the concept by the time it really hit its stride, they were already stretched for topics. Yeah, they got stretched. Yeah. You don't like when people ruin things. Yeah, I don't.

I like enjoying things. Yeah. It's too negative content. It was just interesting to pop into a random place in L.A. and then see a guy that I knew. Completely unplanned. I was like, this is, and Donnie was like, yeah, that's just LA shit. Like, like he knows. Yeah. It's just like, but he's hype on it though. Dude, dude, I was at the casino with Miles last night and, uh, I'm

playing the big table. He's just waiting around. Cause he's like, he just feel like playing. And I hear it. Miles talks extremely loud. Like, his default voice. It's a little like Aiden, I feel like. Can I chime in really quick and just say, I've never heard someone talk about how loudly others talk more than you. And I think you are sensitive. I think I am sensitive, but I also do believe that I'm right. That's also not new.

I've told you my theory. Slime has, like, slight Asperger's. I've told you my theory. I mean, I do. Social situations stress me out. Loud volume. You get really, really mad sometimes. That's not expected.

Yeah. Fucking stress me out. But I do believe that Miles talks at a higher volume and so does Damon. You're right. Which is funny to hear you say because I heard you play Valorant. Not because I was watching your stream. I was hamming it up. Because I was two rooms over.

I was hamming it up. Two rooms over. Heard every word. Every single word anthony's last game of his last stream was insane it was fine i will say he got these two like the the dream team for solo q you fucking around the entire game they still somehow win and just these three guys who were like going off of each other and this one like kid who was doing this a really uncomfortably accurate girl's voice yeah he's like you want to hear my girl voice like yeah sure and it's like sounds like a girl came up and talked to the mic this is one of the most like

popular things on valorant solo queue right now this happens to me all the time really where i have a teammate who's like doing like clearly doing a girl voice as a joke and i have to like get i'm like all right we i get what you're doing not only is it not funny i just want to play video games i just want to win so can you just like and he's like what are you talking about i was yeah i like how this this this guy solicited it and we're like yeah sure fuck it fuck it up brother and then he did and then and then i taught him what jankum was and i was like i'm 31 stay off the streets it was like it was a great stream anyway i love i'm 31 stay on the street it was like it was a great stream anyway i love i'm 31 stay on the street yeah we're not just living in like a nice house i'm playing the game

and i'm like and miles is over here and he just strikes up this conversation with this guy and uh miles is very friendly he's like oh how's it going i can hear the whole conversation because he's so loud and this guy's like oh yeah i'm a i'm a producer actually he's oh he produced music that's cool and then he's like yeah and then i just I'm a producer, actually. He's like, oh, you produce music. That's cool. And then he's like, yeah. And then I just hear him go, you ever hear of Babytron? And the guy's just like, no. He's trying to turn him on. So back in the day, when me and Miles were first living together,

we had this special bond over Drake music, where we would always, every time Drake would make new music, we'd just get together, we'd talk about it. And we'd always just be like, he's done it again. How has he figured out music? How has he solved the rap game? He's solved music. It's like me and Nick with Prezzo.

Yeah, it's exactly like that. It's a very similar relationship. He was churning them out, though, Drake. And eventually, we started to talk about the old Drake. And we were like, man, he doesn't do it like he used to anymore. And eventually, we just stopped talking about it. But Baby Tron has filled a Drake-sized hole in me and Miles' hearts recently. recently He just released king of the galaxy where he raps over like 30 beats in one song and me and miles messages me immediately He's overclocking rap

This exact parallel exists, but it's someone being like dude Ludwig doesn't miss yeah Bro it just doesn't hit the same thing no no marketing Monday And then the next level is just like, no, dude, I caught a Nick stream the other day.

Dude, I want someone to comment on one of our, what was it? No, it was a monster tipper like from the smash community came back and made

like a compilation. Yeah. Yeah. And one of the comments on that video is I, I don't know if I ironically was used, but I think slime is the funniest person on the, in the planet, the universe is I don't know if unironically was used, but I think Slime is the funniest person

in the planet, the universe. I laugh every time he says anything and I'm like, bro, I'd love to see your related videos. I'd love to click over and just see fucking Atriox stands. Come on! You go through, it's nothing but, it's George Carlin. Alright?

It's nothing but the hits. Okay. That person is wrong, but I do like being complimented if I'm funny and I believe that I'm funny. And lately I feel like I've been very on. Isn't the great thing about humor that there can never be one person that shut the fuck up. Ludwig.

Go to go hate read. Go read the comments on our last episode. Yeah. They're fucking. You want to go hate read? Dude. It's everyone. It's everyone responding to slime's effortlessly cool comment. yeah dude but just super taking my side well it's not that i don't think you're

not cool but it's just the idea that everyone's like yeah he is effortlessly cool because i'm 15 and becky won't talk to me like that's that's what they're saying you know and honestly i hope becky gets back to you but you know you know who you know who called me? You know what? On the record, I hope Becky doesn't. You need to move on. On the record, Becky out there. My mom called me a couple days ago. She was asking me a couple things and what they mean. We talk about terms in the show.

My parents don't really know what they mean. What's jankum? And she was like, what's rule 34? Ask her what goatsy means. Oh, shit. She asked me, what's rule 34 mean? What's that mean? And I was like, okay, so.

Did you get her? Did you boom her? I just explained it to her very honestly. And she was like, so what's this about Zipper 2 drawing, like, Sonic porn? And I started laughing my ass off. And, you know, me and my mom are really close. So I'm just like, so I explain what rule 34 is, and I also explain, like, what this is. And she, like, takes a moment, and she she goes i'm so proud of her you know for context zipper 2 is like normally especially around

family my family's like very nice and like yeah you know not no friction no weird topics just like very sweet all the time so my mom was just like i want to see it i'm so proud and i was and i had to like i was was like, I was like, this is crazy because my girlfriend is drawing porn of Sonic that my mom wants to look at. She's like, not only did she hear that this happened, she's like, well,

show me the goods. It's like, it's like she's in second grade and she's drawing for the first time. My mom's like, I want to put it on the fridge. This is a plot. This is a plot of a, of another sexual B internet comic that that some people

like dream about yeah yeah yeah yeah it's it's like it's it is oh yeah here's my significant other and then it's like she draws sonic porn it's like yeah it's like the dad walks in are you winning son it's like my girlfriend just drew sonic porn and he's like i love that let's show the family it's like one of the wholesome ones. Yeah, and then they all fuck. You're at the precipice of this climax. Yeah, both literally and narratively. That's so great for you. Did you show it to her?

I will soon. I remember when I first learned that Nick's girlfriend was funny was when she... It was a long time ago. Nick was on Ludwig's old stream and it was like the 300 viewer days and they were playing mario party i think and nick was like he was doing his gamer phase it's probably melee because your gamer face is like oh and you you

were just like dead-eyed but you kind of looked like a wuga a little bit right and she made this picture that she sent all of us which was it was it was Nick. I'll find it after this. And then it was like, it was Nick again. And then it was like, like a caked up Luigi cartoon with the absolute ass truck. It's a four panel. It's a four panel

where it's me three times. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nothing different about me each time. And then it's Luigi with boobs. Yeah, oh yeah. And I was like, this is pretty funny. That's crazy.

And to this day, I don't know if she doesn't understand memes or if she's a genius. Yeah, that's so next level. I saw in the comments last time, because we were talking about the Patreon goal for Slime. He needs to do something. It actually pissed me off. Not that I usually don't get pissed off.

But it was like, people were like, Slime should grow out his hair. Grow out his hair. For a year. Grow out his hair. And it's like, guys, I've done this. You can see what it looks like already. Yeah, but you're kind of on veteran mode now, right? I got a prestige.

Yeah, it's two years later. Are you not curious at all? It's kind of like Tony Hawk. He's like, I did the 900. It's like, yeah, but we want to see you try now. Yeah. We want to see it. Come on.

Now that you're 50 and it's probably different right to an extent i don't really don't think so i think i've been at the same level since i started shaving because the last time i shaved my head uh was the october of 2019 and then i let it grow to like all of covid it is the most underwhelming patreon goal because then it's just like oh okay you guys are stupid it's also slow progress the man who should maybe shave yeah if i if i can say something dumb when i was downstairs and before you guys allegedly consumed uh magic mushrooms i was looking at them and the ziploc baggie that they were in and i was like damn these are mushrooms yeah they're the food they look like

damn they look like mushrooms i've never like seen mushrooms in person. You know when you go get ramen and you ask for mushrooms and they come and they look like little eels? You're like, that's mushrooms? Crazy. I thought it'd be kind of like that. You think of cartoon mushrooms. Yeah, but it was like, damn. I go to my backyard and find that right now. I had the same thing with pearls.

Like pearls the jewelry? Pearls the jewelry? I was like, damn, that really comes from an animal because on tiktok yeah there's a wild trend where it's just live streaming like shucking out pearls getting it out of the guy yeah it makes them and then and then it'll just be like oh what's it gonna be this time and it's like these three asian women and they're like oh it's gonna be a heart maybe why does aiden like this so much i've I thought for whatever reason, pearls were like plastic. Why is that so funny to you?

I've never seen him laugh this hard. I know. It comes from a guy, right? Isn't that crazy? Yeah, I know. There it is. I know it hits his butt. No, here's it.

So before this episode started, we had a conversation with you guys. And we're like, hey, take this very seriously. You got to treat us well. And you guys were actually really nice. You're like, yeah, we're really going to try. Because that's Cutie's big concern, too. She said, don't make him schizophrenic. And you guys were like, no, we won't, we won't,'t we won't but you did something weird. Oh, I did it. It's weird

Okay, can I just I'd like to make it? I want you to show what you've done first of all show you did to the class some guys from my room Okay, so I'm sorry to the audio listeners. You're gonna have to wait for the video episode to really enjoy this moment Just describe it for those so soime brought up some plushies. Don't make the shark look at me, bro. Slime brought up some plushies as comfort pets, but the thing that I'm concerned about is he brought a bear up

that has a comically small head. The problem with this when your friends are on mushrooms, I feel like they're not sure. He's so cute. That's what I was thinking about it's like two and a half hours from now that bear's not gonna be part of me was just trying to part

of me wanted to just be like we should tell aiden it's a regular bear no that's what i mean you can't stop you can't stop that's funny that's actually funny i think that would perhaps get someone it's a shark for audio listeners the shark looks exactly like the sharks that danced at the Katy Perry Super Bowl. Yeah, a hundred percent. This is the Ikea shark. That looks like Left Shark. It's a very popular shark. He's very soft.

This is, it's a company called the Tiny Headed Kingdom. And they got tiny headed guys. I don't think they call me, bro. That's free. They got lore. That's fucking free right there. They should make a TV show.

And so, yeah, I brought these guys because I was like, you know what? If things are going south, I'll bring the comfort in. He's a very soft bear. I don't think it would work. I think a plushie would help me a lot. Yeah, you just hold on to it.

I think Nick's right about that thing. Because I look at Nick's eyes right now and I see vagina. What? They look like vaginas? Yeah, sideways. Is this because you're on mushrooms or because I look like that? More so the wrinkles. Oh, okay.

Yeah, your eyeballs look like labia. I didn't think part of the trip would be hurting me. If he starts crying, that means he's ready. For context, we drank tea. That's how we took it. Zipper won. Zipper's the Sherpa of this adventure. Zipper made some tea, and we took the tea about 30 minutes ago. And my only other experience

is taking a bit of psilocybin, but then I had to drive a moped in Italy. Yeah, I went downstairs and I saw Zipper just shut up. Wait, what'd you say? He says you gotta stop telling people that.

Yeah. You always say it like it was back to back. It was not. It was not operating a motor vehicle like an hour into the shoot. Chug and rip.

Yeah, I wasn't there. So, yeah, he did whatever he did. Zipper downstairs was just chefing up the cockshoot. He was chefing very well. I walked downstairs, and he's just, like, dead serious, like, fucking using one of those old, like, what are they called? Order and pestle. Yeah, like the matcha grinders.

And then he's, like, putting lemon in it, and he's, like, doing all this shit. It looked like Dexter's lab. Yeah. And I'm just like, Zam, this shit's crazy. There's, like, matcha grinders, and then he's like putting lemon in it, and he's like doing all this shit Looks like a Dexter's lab. Yeah, and I'm just like Sam this shit's crazy. There's like a little poof He's like wiping sweat off his brow. He's like yeah Oh my god. It's awesome. Yeah, secret ingredient. He was playing to this music He had it. He had it just blasting and he was listening to this and he was listening to this. Is this Yoshi's?

Sort of Yoshi's. And he's just like shuffling it up. He's like putting a little like cinnamon in there. And he's just feeling, he's got an apron with a big flower on. The Tentacle music's so good.

You guys hear about what happened with Gil the Sonner? Yes. Yeah, the whole channel finally got axed. He was a YouTuber who re-uploaded video game music. He had 3,500 takedowns

and announced that he was going to stop uploading videos permanently on Friday because it wasn't worth it. Yeah, Nintendo, if you're listening... Wait! The twist is that the takedowns were not from Nintendo. Ah! Somebody was doing fake takedowns as Nintendo. He got trainwrecksed?

He got trainwrecksed. Trainwrecksed meaning trainwrecks had takedowns from Hell's Kitchen that were actually from a viewer posing as Hell's Kitchen. Dude, what is the... What's the... What do you earn? For trainwrecks, him being sad. Yeah, they just did damage to him.

Yeah, but no, I get that part. That makes way more sense. For the video game music, I don't know. I don't understand what you earned. I don't know. Nothing. Because if you're enough of a fan of that channel, it's like you probably are into video game music.

So you don't really want to fuck with that community. There's zero reason. Maybe you're like, oh, Nintendo should be making more money. Oh, imagine. I think we should be privy to this because we're Melee heads, which is adjacent to Ultimate heads. And Ultimate heads, a lot of them historically on Twitter and then people who are adjacent

to Ultimate heads are just big Nintendo simps. Yeah. They literally will be like, dude, Sakurai fucking, he's the best, bro. And they're like, Nintendo, just buy Metroid Dread. I think some people just come from this frame of mind where they just want to see themselves have an influence on the world finally for once. No, I get it. Even if they're a fan.

If they're not a fan. Buy Metroid Dread. You have to buy it. The thing is, with the power of social media, they're right. They all have influence. Those same people exist, but they're Ludwig viewers.

And instead of Ludwig, they like Nintendo. I think the difference is that Nintendo is this fucked up corporation that has done us dirty so many times as melee heads. But they're just like, yes yes let me slobber on your knobber till I got my copper it's like corn copper but if you're a Ludwig guy, it's like, oh, I like Ludwig Anders, and it's like not this company of weirdness.

It's like a guy. It makes more sense. But also the output of Nintendo is way greater than my output. Like I'm just a guy who streams and people love me, but people like Nintendo, Nintendo is – That's why I find it weird. They pumped out good shit. I think you're equally important.

I think Nintendo is better for the world than me. You think Nintendo and Ludwig are equal? That's brave. You're brave for saying that. And I'm okay saying it. It's close, though, for sure. It's a horse race. I saw an infographic today that shows,

because there's so many Silver Gunner, Gilva Sonner accounts, it shows the infographic of which ones are which and what they do. Some of them are eyes for L's, and they're not all the same channel. I didn't really know this. And one of them is like,

the two of them are just like regular video game uploading channels and someone who make Gil Vassana was started because Silva Gunner was getting takedowns and then the other two started to make the parody versions. I don't know if you've seen like this. Yeah, so I think some of the funniest fucking videos on YouTube are it's just like we menu

music and then you click it. There's nothing assuming and it's just like that mixed with like the Seinfeld theme and the comments are like this isn't right Docs but I forget what it is you pull up dire dire dogs It might be I like the one that's like the Wii Shop menu music, but it pauses at random interval Zooming in on the old guy me. That's really good.

There's actually a huge trend of YouTube videos where it's just an hour of silence and then they fill it with something occasionally. So it'll be like an hour of silence occasionally with claps or like laughter. I think the idea is to like leave it running on someone's computer and then like run away and then like they're just like where is that coming from? Yeah. They have like a weird amount of views though. Like hundreds of thousands. I think people click just to like leave it running on someone's computer and like run away and then like they're just like where's that Coming from yeah, they have like a weird amount of views though like hundreds of thousands I think people click just to hear the noise. It's fun for stream like the retention's probably It's just David Lynch one hour of silence with laugh track interspersed Yeah, you never know it's like a guy like I don't know like I like it. I won't say that blood-curdling scream

Yeah, I won't say what I was gonna say that. Blood-curdling scream? Yeah. I won't say what I was going to say. Was it worse than that? Yeah. Oh, jeez. That's fine. Okay. That's fine. It's fine that we don't have to hear it, is what I meant.

Oh, okay. Do you think you're the first person to trip in the Fortnite Balenciaga? No. No. There's some Armenian guy who does this every week. I saw a picture on Twitter of Blaustoys, the streamer who used to like, I think he was a game dev at Riot,

and he posted a picture of him at a rave, and everybody is in these like decked out rave outfits, and then he's in the, just the Fortnite Balenciaga hoodie. No. And he's the first man who did it.

That's hard. That guy's extremely handsome, by the way. Blaustoys? I didn't know. He's such a weird career. Why? Because he was working at Riot, and then he's like? I didn't know. He's such a weird career. Why? Because he was working at Riot,

and then he's like, I'm going to become a full-time streamer. And then he did really well, got like 6,000 subs. And then he's like, I'm joining InnerSloth, the people who make Among Us. What?

I missed that. He's stanzing his shit. He's kind of stanzing it. He's playing Wii Bingo. Yeah. He's just trying to do all the jobs they want to do. Wait, so people like Amogus. Stanz hops from dick to dick dick just looking for the perfect size and he can't find it like stans he's the best way to put it no is it yeah yeah jumping how is that crap no one tried to

find the perfect size it's a beautiful analogy this is how cinderella should have been written that's right yeah she's just getting fucking dug out every single time. The dick doesn't dig out. Dog out is fucked. Don't say dog out. Ladies, we have to figure out if the dick fits. Dude, fuck. We'll never know unless we try.

And she's like, you know what? You're right. Get in there, big boy. Your pussy's too tight. No. This sucks. Yeah, it's like Cinderella. It can't be just the tip. We have to see. big boy your pussy's too tight no this sucks yeah it's like Cinderella

it can't be just the tip we have to see damn so that's Stans yeah he's career Cinderella you know what

put her there nice to meet you he's doing great though yeah it's just that it's just that he's doing great though the idea behind Stans

is he just like gets bored of something fast and then he's like oh I want to do this stuff because he's talking about returning to The idea behind Stans is he just gets bored of something fast, and then he's like, oh, I want to do this stuff, because he's talking about returning to esports, maybe. You know what? He just, I think, has it right, where he's more concerned about having a good life than... Yeah, but how good is his life if his interests change

from month to month like Hobby Lobby? I mean... I'm just saying. Like the company or people who shop there? Stans, if you're watching... I assume the people who shop there. Hobby Lobby has it down. Hobby Lobby's very consistent.

Yeah, they're anti-abortion pro arts and crafts. They've got it all figured out. They've checked all their boxes. Stans, if you're watching, wake up to your life, okay? Oh, come on. I just want them to settle down.

I like Stans. Yeah, we are the same. Yeah, you are the same. That's why you're allowed to say this is because you're the same and you never have fulfillment. I've talked to stanza about that too i was like we're always gonna be lost souls never finding what we need and he's like oh don't say that he sounds like mrs doubtfire

dude stanza as mr mrs doubtfire would be so funny. He's just being Atriox. You have that conversation with him, and then you talk to Rochelle alone the next day, and she's like, yeah, he was talking about existentialism the next night. It's Stans. I think all of Stans. It's Stans dressed up as Ari, Atriox's fiancee, doing Mrs. Doubtfire, trying to replace her in his life. Dude, no. Okay, in his life. Come on.

Okay, there's a better concept here. It's Mrs. Doubtfire, but Atriok is Mrs. Doubtfire. No, it's me. Okay. No, it's such a good idea now. Atriok has kids, but him and Ari have a falling out. Atriok gets into crypto, gets really weird. Ari's like, I'm done.

I need to raise this kid alone. But then I try to beat H-Rock grandma. You lost it. What's happening here? I just want to pretend to beat H-Rock but as an old woman.

You're the sober person here. This is insane. He's a sober one, but he's incoherent and he's holding on to plushies. Okay, no. Shut up. It's H-Rock. I'm not involved. H-Rock and he's holding on to plushies. Okay, no. Shut up. It's Atriok.

I'm not involved. Atriok and Ari have a falling out due to crypto. Atriok tries to become Mrs. Doubtfire to reconnect with his kids that he has and then teach them about crypto. We'll just applaud him. The whole point is for Atriok to teach his kids about crypto. Shuby, if you could just get on that one. Shuby makes the most dog shit animation ever just to our terrible.

This was a bad idea, so I'm definitely voting for this. This sounds like the crossed out section of the Rick and Morty writer's room whiteboard. I still have to watch Australian Rick and Morty. It's so fucking funny. Ludwig has listened to Australian Rick and Morty

twice now from the backseat of the car that he's in. Can I tell people the reality I'm living? It's like I'll drive these kids somewhere, and I say kids because they'll be in the backseat, and on their phone they'll pull up Rick and Morty. Wait, Australian Rick and Morty. Australian Rick and Morty. And they see it like four times, and they'll wait for the part.

They'll be like, all right, Kaba. And you'll say it along with them. No, it is not all right, Kaba, dude. But you'll watch. It's right caba and you'll say it along with them it is not all right caba dude but you'll watch it's like the fifth time you see it and then let him in the front will be like yeah i gotta watch it and we're like yeah you gotta watch it and we're just not showing i'm in the front like yeah and i have a 15 year refinance mortgage and they're in the back like don't act like you're the adult when i'm always driving yeah that's also doesn't this mean that it's so goaded that you should just watch it?

I should watch it. Mine blows me that they're on their fourth time loading it. How many times have you watched Outrageous Fun? Boobies flying around, dicks and butts. We're just glazing over my mind blows me. That is what he just said. We're going right past that. Wait, Aiman said that? No, Ludwig just said that.

That's what a nocturnal mission is. That's right. My mind blows me. You know, I had one of those the other day. Did you? Yeah, it was crazy. What was it like for you? It was... What happened?

Okay, in the dream, I'm in a closet. It's a dilapidated house. That's all it takes for him. There's no other details need to be added. Yeah, and so, yeah. And then it was funny because in the dream, I couldn't get my bread up, if you will. Okay. Yeah, no, that happens.

You couldn't get bricked up. But it doesn't matter because the moment they touch it, you bust anyway. That's exactly what happened. That's exactly what happened. Dude, I got like four or five different messages from people who all don't know each other after the last episode that said, I just learned what bricked up means from that episode. That's funny. I'm like, I guess that makes sense, but it but just so funny that all of them took that away one of the greatest reddit posts of

all time on my subreddit goes what the fuck is nippon desu he talks about it every goddamn yard episode or that's funny it's japan it's japan i learned it's a bastardization of sticky desu on the end of it for no reason that just means like it it is, right? Yeah. It's like is. Affirmation. That's why when he says so des ka. So des ka. It's so annoying because ka is a question particle. But he says it like he puts it on this end of sentences that are like finality.

Yeah, yeah. But it's a fucking question. Yeah. Any. Sumimasen. Hey, are you no monosai? He keeps saying sumimasen as well, and it's fucked. Because he'll just say it.

I get it's a very easy word to plug almost anywhere. It can mean, like, excuse me, but it could also mean, like, hello. Like, it's just, like, a very convenient word. But he'll use it like, yo, sumimasen me that mug. I'm like, fucking end your shit, brother. You think you have a bad cutie? I'm like, sumimas sent me that coochie no stop

wow you have literally never said that that was lame I think everything is funny right now and that did not make me laugh

that's stinker huh big one sometimes look I was gonna say I learned about Bricked Up from Dawson actually it was just funny

because I was watching Sam he's a Valorant player used to play CSGO I'm watching Sam I usually watch's a Valorant player. He used to play CSGO. I'm watching Psalm. I usually watch him play Valorant, but he was playing Pummel Party, which is like a Mario Party-esque update video game. And I was

like, because we played it way back, and we kind of got into it, and then Nick was like, okay, it's a bad game because this, this, this, and this, and this, but it has potential. It's a terrible game. He was just analyzing it. He's a Mario Party guy. They haven't changed it. But I'm watching it on Psalm Stream and I'm like,

hey, they look like they added new games. We should give Pummel Party a shot again. And then Dawson responds to me. He's like, oh, you bricked up

watching Psalm Stream? And I was like, yeah. He just knew. He just knew. I was literally watching on my TV. Dawson is the largest

consumer of media. Is it not Fortnite Psalm? Like who played Valorant 2? No, he played CSGO. You think of Zombs? No, no, no. I thought Psalm was the Fortnite player.

He was on Gen.G's CSGO team. Oh, okay. Oh, I know that. Different guy, I guess. Two Psalms? Maybe they all played Fortnite. It's not that rare. Psalm got second

at the Fortnite World Championship after Booga. Definitely not this Psalm. A million and a half, and then he started playing Pro Valorant. So he also plays Pro Valorant. That's crazy. Zipper, do some research for us while we got the bag you sound like anyway uh speaking of being

petty because someone said that earlier and i thought we were on bricked up and also valorant and also dawson we've been playing valorant lately it's like a five stack i'm with uh amen stroke the furry wall stroke the furry wall you guys don't get that oh that's all right i made a joke no one saw the fucking movie it's alright man your references are out of control though

we always say that like such a popular movie anyway we're also making references so we're playing and it's a five stack and Dawson I get killed

we're defending A-side on Icebox I get killed from someone on belt and I'm like dude it was belt no one called it Dawson I or I get killed uh we're we're defending a side on icebox to get killed from someone on belt and I'm like dude it was belt no one called it Dawson or Eamon literally like 15 seconds later he's like I said someone was on belt and I was like I doubted it because one I didn't hear it and two he took so long to say that yeah in reply yeah I was like he has to be capping so I was like no you didn't I capping. So I was like, no, you didn't. I'm shadow playing right now.

And I hit my shadow play, which is two minutes behind. Wait, shadow play records your footage and audio? Yeah, it keeps the buffer of your gameplay and audio. So it's like an OBS thing that's always open, but until you hit the- Yeah, it just keeps a running buffer. It's hardware. Are you doing the podcast thing? Yeah.

Okay, okay. You're doing the podcast thing? So I shadow play it, because if you're a gamer,'ll know what that means and so and then i go check the tape and i'm like i didn't even move in pre-round because i'm checking the tape because i'm so mad and i'm like you didn't say it and i checked the tape and he's like one belt it'd be weird if he lied after 15 like because sometimes i waited i waited to say something because after you died they were still like around still kind of listening to things sometimes uh sometimes you think you say something and you don't and then you catch somebody or it's like yeah and i was just like

oh he's capping i got him i got him i got him zipper i found out how i wait wait my hands my hands are clammy dude i keep looking over at Aiden and he's touching a new thing like he keeps like deciding something and just sort of interacting with it you want one of these guys? take your guy I feel fine

I know you feel fine but he's soft but my hand is like it's clammy my hand's sweaty my hand's fucking no I know you just rub him bro

I want that PTZ just locked on Aiden. Aiden, by the bonus, if you guys aren't a part of the Patreon, we have an extra hour that we record after these 90-minute podcasts, and I can't imagine. I was like, I said even before we recorded this,

you guys want to do the bonus episode like a different day, and they're like, no, it's fine. We'll go all the way through. And in my head, I'm like, dude, the bonus is going to be fucked. Yeah, this might be the most value you ever get from $5.

If it's 30 minutes, it's not on us. That's right. Me and Nick will hold it down. That's still enough value. I pinged our Patreon Discord today and was like, all right,

two of us are going to be on mushrooms this episode. Ask your Patreon questions about, you know, with that in mind. Sure, yeah. We have a bunch of questions that are ready specifically for them i can't imagine that's a good thing like you

wouldn't want prepared questions no it just means that they'll keep that in mind because maybe their question is you know how do you guys feel right now or something or like what what if you know what if you had three balls and then it just stuns aiden he's like can you hear color yet you know shit like that that's a thing it's synthesia yeah just like being an empath which i am we're going to the to the climbing gym the other day uh-huh and i was recounting this in my head because i don't i don't know if it's as funny as i think all right you're with me what happened hey vote on your phones now we're driving the american driving. The American Idol UI pops up.

Nick, from the moment... It's not this funny, I promise you. It's not going to be this funny. If I don't remember this rock climbing... We're leaving the house, and Nick keeps singing Replay by IS. And he just keeps singing the chorus over and over in a fucking... I believe it. How does it go? So whenever I call shotgun, I just say shoddy like a melody. And so

I just kept saying shoddy like a melody. And then I pull up a video of gangster Mario rapping. Yeah. That song. Yeah. And then Spongebob's rapping six, nine. Yeah. And then I and then I showed it to Aiden and I said, do you think this is chill? To which she said, like, I don't know.

Where is Ayaz from? And then we sort of had a conversation about that. And then Ludwig comes, and I'm like, he's like, what are you guys talking about? I'm like, oh, this. It's still playing. Where do you think Ayaz is from? Okay, let me be clear. I didn't know that that was not the title of the song, which was Shoddy Like a Melody in my head.

Also, I don't know who made it. I would have assumed it was called shoddy like a melody. Or melody. Not every day. It's so funny

because replay is one of the main words. I've been saying shoddy like a melody to specifically call shotgun, but the Australians always say shorty like a melody

and they have their own joke that they were saying in Australia for when they do a shorten, which is a thing in Super Smash Brothers Melee. Oh, yeah. They say, oh, shorty like a melody and they have a their own joke that they were saying in australia for when they do a shorten which is a thing in super smash brothers melee oh yeah oh shorten shorty like a melody and we came together and we've originally had this argument of like who started saying that right and then we both and we both realized that we had we were using two different contexts because

one was saying shoddy and one was saying shorty yeah it's two different species of birds yeah australian bits though they great no but sometimes i think they make up what a bit is no you're just do some no fuck no he's right he's right we're in the car i was in the car on the way to on the way to food with them today and they're just like laughing they're like yeah you remember what we did when we were just ripping ketamine in the bathroom and i was like that's not a bit like that's like no no no we have this guy named like like he does like he does a lot of ketamine and like Australian bit I thought it was just like the Australian group that we know but like the more like Australian media I consume it's just part of the culture they're literally are all the same it is funny though right like that I

they'll do a bit or unites them that little bit will those be like oh like uh did you did you buy this car and you're like oh i leased it like oh you leased it okay cool and that's their bit is like they're laughing in their head that they're having that conversation with you it's hard to to not be owned by australians you cannot like signify that you are you are being like uh what do you call it mixed up and this was this is in the australian rick and morty episode where it's just like, that's not a bush wizard. That's your dad. And he's like, I knew that. I knew that.

It was great. Like, again, at the casino, it was getting really late, and this guy was really boisterous. He was to my right. He's like this huge guy, owns a strip club, doesn't shut the fuck up, dumps his money. Great guy to have on the table. Yeah.

And Miles is just watching the game because I got into a couple of big, yeah, make sure just watching the game because i got into a couple of big yeah make sure it's square and it got into a couple big pots and this guy he's he sees miles just watching the game and he's like miles is like four mickeys right he's just big chill and hanging out and uh the guy's like hey if i go to the bathroom will you sit down and play with uh my chips for me this is a common bit and miles without skipping a beat he's like yeah i could sit down and play for you and then he's like oh you're sure he's like yeah like you win play you're winning players like yeah i usually don't lose and he's just like it literally frame one like miles was not he was walking around like an npc and then he snapped yeah and he's only hard coded to do one thing and it's continued

and the guy was stunned he was like oh this guy's like he didn't realize there's like a little mini boss yeah he thought it'd just be an easy continuation of the bit is singing that song for the rest of the fucking 20 minute ride, but only singing the same part over and over. Dottie, like a melody. You deserve that. And here's why. And then later that evening, later that evening, I'm with a group of completely different people in a hot tub and they turn on music.

And that is the first song on. And I just laugh out loud. Don't be saying anything. You just start punching the water. You just start thinking of... Can you bring up the YouTube video? Don't play the music. But just bring up the YouTube video of Gangster Mario singing Replay by IAZ just so we can watch it.

This image pops in your head and you lose control. Here's the thing. It's the whole song, but it's sped up a little bit so they don't get demonetized. And it's just this. Dude, why does this image of Mario exist? This is Miles listening to Babytron. What is it from?

It's canon, I'm pretty sure. Is it Mario Dance Dance Revolution? Is it chill that Mario did this? No. He's Italian. Dude, he looks like... Wait. Or it is. It looks like LP. looks like... Wait. He looks like LP.

Or it is. It is Italian. It's Italian. It's Italian. It's Italian. It's Italian. It's Italian. It's Italian.

It's Italian. It's Italian. It's Italian. It's Italian. It's Italian. It's Italian. It's Italian. It's Italian.

It's Italian. It's Italian. It's Italian. It's Italian. It's Italian. It's Italian. It's Italian. It's Italian.

It's Italian. It's Italian. It's Italian. It's Italian. It's Italian. It's Italian. It's Italian. It's Italian.

It's Italian. It's Italian. It's Italian. It's Italian. It's Italian. It's Italian. It's Italian. It's Italian.

It's Italian. It's Italian. It's Italian. It's Italian. It's Italian. It's Italian. It's Italian. It's Italian.

It's Italian. It's Italian. It's Italian. It's Italian. It's Italian. It's Italian. It's Italian. It's Italian.

It's Italian. It's Italian. It's Italian. It's Italian. It's Italian. It's Italian. It's Italian. It's Italian.

It's Italian. It's Italian. It's Italian. It's Italian the way you deserve what happened to you what he did to you and here's what we we were driving to work back and we worked at bts we were all in the car oh yeah he's like really please don't do this to me we're all in the car nick usually drove we carpool with him and nick will just play whatever's on nick like many of us growing up liked 182 it's because they all sound the same. Shut the fuck up. And he plays. Oh, I forgot about this. I know. Oh, yes. I know.

New memory unlocked. And he plays I Miss You by Blink-182. We all have fun with it. Their biggest song. Where are you? You know, and I'm so sorry, et cetera. And you need to do the voice real quick. I can't do it.

The lower one. Oh. Hello there. We're having fun. Angel from my neighbor. And fucking Eamon. we're having fun and fucking Eamon not only does Nick have

a double din readout that tells you what is playing so he could just look there but he says is this bowling for soup and he's dead ass it was not a joke he's dead ass serious and I look over and I'm like I did some calculation I'm like is our generation

the same yeah yeah we had to do a lot of work before we even addressed this. This is actually crazy because this is like week two of living with you guys. This is early. That's a shared impression. And Nick is like mind blown that I could have said this. And then he like musical quizzes me the rest of the ride. And I think it's actually where I gained some respect with Nick the rest of the drive because

he was like, if you don't know any of these people like there's basically a problem here and we went through and we went through like the fucking circus of 90s rap and I named like every guy and then and then Nick was like you're fine what's funny is like I am the guy who is failing this and Aiden seemed like he would yeah but you don't like music yeah you have a past i love music yeah no you listen there's this bit on dexter it's like dexter's not a funny show but there's a really funny part where dexter for context is a serial killer who like has a wife and family and he's like uh he's like dexter you never listen to music why are you going to a concert his like wife's asking his question he's like i listen to music she's like yeah you listen to marching band music in the car

it's like yeah i like the rhythm and it band music in the car. He's like, yeah, I like the rhythm. And it's a really funny bit that shouldn't really exist. That's how I imagine Ludwig every time he talks about music. Well, there's that TikTok trend right now of like, what's the generation of teens right now called? Zoomers. So Zoomers. It's like Gen Z listening to songs from our generation.

No, there's a different one. That's a fake bit. It's like insanely popular music. Yeah, no's a different one. That's a fake bit. Well, it's like insanely popular music. Yeah, no, like Stand If They Hurt It Or Not. Paramore, like Misery Business comes on and they're like, I don't know this one. And then all the comments are like,

fucking die, I want you to die. Yeah, all the comments are fucking idiot millennials who think, who forgot. And that was Aiden. No. It was like, wait, is this Bowling For Soup? Well, he said another artist.

It was fucked up that you said bowling for soup. You could have said literally, I think, anything else. I think that they all, there's like four of those bands. Yeah, but one of them is Blake 182 and one of them is fucking bowling for soup. They all sound the same. There's like a cultural, you know what? You're doing great. One of the other guys.

It kind of felt like you hearing the U.S. national anthem and being like, is this the Russian national anthem? Is this Serbia? Wait. Think about it this way. Bowling for Soup. They made the Phineas and Ferb theme song. That's tight.

I didn't know that. Simple Plan made the Scooby-Doo theme song. I didn't know this either. Not one show did Blink-182 make the theme song for. Two days ago, me and Aiden are driving around. He goes, dude, did you know that Simple plan made the scooby-doo theme song? I was like yes, I didn't About saying that you should know that but he said it like he was about to fuck

Didn't they just do like a version of it no no it's the official song they made it like the Phineas and Ferb How does it go in someone someone... No, no. The original version they literally weren't live. They made it for one of the... They're a theme song for one of the series that exists. But not the first Scooby-Doo. Not the first Scooby-Doo. You don't gotta continue it.

That was enough. I'm smoking weed and life is... I do like replacing every song when I'm smoking weed. Dude, this is a bit that actually doesn't translate. Have we talked about this on the pod yet? This is such a... No. God damn it.

You don't like it? It's because they drove me insane with it. Yeah, so Aiden asked us to play Valorant the other day. And me and Sock, my son, are in the call with Aiden. And we get a Discord bot into the call that will play music to anyone in the call. And we're going through every Blink-182 song and just replacing a random lyric with weed so it's like you know i'm smoking weed whatever right now i'm smoking weed yeah so we're doing this to every song and adan is just like can you guys join my game and it starts it starts very tame and he's like can we please start playing

and it's like yeah right now i'm smoking weed and like sock starts laughing and then like he does it i start laughing and he's like gets increasingly more mad he's like join the fucking game yeah and he has no idea that i'm just playing chess i don't even have i don't even have valorant open and i've told him i'm gonna come play and i'm just like wait hold on hold on i'm coming right now. And then a new Blink song plays. And then we just replace all those lyrics. And then you're like, give all my weed to all my friends.

Never smoke weed in my room. We finally are playing. We're finally fucking playing the game after, like, a tower of this stupid shit. And we're two rounds in. And I'm obviously very mad already and ben joins the call and he genuinely asks like why are you so mad like this early yeah yeah yeah ben's like what's up with you don't fucking understand usually a guy too like lets it roll he did he had two questions he has two questions why are you so mad and why does the general channel have all

these blink songs in it you You're talking about general. I'm like, you're going to love what happens next. Yeah, that bot got to work out. Yeah, and now Ben just does the bit with you. Yeah, Ben loves the bit. So you don't like the bit. Is it because you don't know any songs with lyrics? Well, to be fair, I do 8 and 30.

So jump, jump, smoke some weed. That's good. Because every song that you changed weed to be in it, I've changed to have Amen cringe in it. That's true. You're on the same wave. Yeah. You just don't hang out in the boys' room.

No, we do the weed ones. Dude, Aiden. We do the weed ones. I smoke all the time. Last time we went rock climbing. No, I smoke and I rip bongs. I rip bongs. Tell my rip.

Dude, you're so good at weed. Dude. So last time we went smoking weed, I mean rock climbing, Aiden was like throwing himself at this climb all day. Real quick, as an aside to this, I went up to Lodo and he was in his bed. And I was like, I knocked on his door. He's like, what? I thought he was pissed.

Oh, shit. And so I opened the door. And I'm like, you crying a little bit? You mad? You depressed? You depressed? And he's like, no. And he's like, normal now.

He just said what in a way that I thought sounded angry. But I kept the big, I was like, you're depressed, bro. Just tell me what's up. What went wrong today? he's like, no. And he's like, normal now. He just said what in a way that I thought sounded angry. But I kept the big, I was like, you're depressed, bro. Just tell me what's up. What went wrong today? He's like, nothing. I was like, that's not true. Something went wrong today. He's like, Aiden had a bad time rock climbing.

That was the only thing that went bad for me. I was like, oh, that's sad. Yeah. And so this is. Oh, were you, was it when I didn't hug you? No, no. You didn't hug him? This is specific. I don't remember this. Oh, that makes me sad. I didn't hug you? No You didn't hug him?

This is specific I don't remember this Oh That makes me sad I specifically That makes me sad I thought it was a bad thing And the bad thing that happened Is you didn't get your climb done

And I was sad for you Because one of the times I was mad when I failed And then Ludwig came up to me He was like Give me a hug You know

And Aiden said No I remember this And he rejected him and walked across the way. Like it's a fucking melee set that he lost? Yeah. I shoved that out of my memory.

It feels the same. You haven't gone, it feels the same way. It feels the same way. But you kind of removed the social implication of your loss, but kind of not

because like all your friends are there and they're doing good climbs, so it's like it's hard. But Aiden is pissed, right? He's sitting down on like the gym mat. He's just like sulking.

And Lud sits down next to him and he starts singing the Aiden's cringe song. But he does only the Pog lyrics. And he's like, Aiden's Pog. And I'm sitting there. I'm like, dude, this is Ludwig's best attempt at cheering his friends up. I came over to them.

I came over to them. I came over to them. It was like, you need to stop. This is like, I'm your autistic little brother right now. I just fucking live it. You were that pissed off?

Yeah, because I'm failing like a fucking V2, V3, V1, dude. V2, but he was just like, ah. But he was just,

oh my fucking God. Not a V3, it's a different V2. It was just funny because he refused to try any other climbs. He was only doing that one, and he had just worked on that one the whole day before. And we're obviously being very supportive when we're there. But it was just funny because I'm like, why don't you just go try another one and get some in before you come back? He's like, no! And I'm like, all right, man, it's fucking your world, but I'm just living in it.

And then Ludwig's like, it is And I'm like, all right, man. It's fucking your world, but I'm just living in it. And then Ludwig's like, Aiden's pub. I've been there. I promise. I mean this genuinely. I don't... This is not meant to be funny. How long have we been up here?

Actually? No, yeah. I'm dead serious. 45 minutes. 45. How long does it feel? It feels like it's been at least an hour and a half.

That's crazy. Yeah. I'm just like sitting here. Aiden has felt his entire body. I've watched him do this. This is going to blow your world. Take your socks off. Get your feet on this carpet, bro. Dude, ground yourself.

Get your feet. Get your feet here. Ludwig's just been quietly enjoying the carpet. I don't want to see Ludwig go through his hippie bullshit arc, dude. Trust me, baby. You're going to love this. Come on. Ooh, does he like it?

Take the left one off. Yeah, you like that. Why do you look like you're hurting yourself? I feel weird. Get the toes curled. It's okay. Curl the toes a bit. I'm like that. Yeah. Get the toes curled. Is it kind of cool? Ground yourself on our synthetic grass. I'll tell you where I'm at. It's like 2007

everything sepia tone. Okay, so you're like having a breaking bad flashback. Like in spirit or an actual tone? No, like color. I see sepia tone. And I remember 2007, that was a big filter. Old West color.

You get on the MacBook, you go to Photo Booth, sepia. Why? Why? Was it popular then? Wait, did shit actually look different for you? Yeah. Nothing looks different. Yeah.

I feel like I'm past that. Everything like 15 minutes ago was so fucking about this guy now i'm like not funny anymore guy you don't like this guy dude i get come on it's like it's weird now like when you if i have to like it's not it's not like a bear thing it's like if i like if i have to rest and like focus on you It's a little weird like you just like I just jiggle a little bit. Is it there's like trails. Is it just him? Is he the only one that looks weird? He doesn't actually like he looks like everybody everything looks normal It's just like like if I have to concentrate on once, but I think that's why I keep moving around so much

Okay trade on one spot. I think that's why I keep moving around so much. I don't want to look at anything for one too long. Shut the fuck up! I'm sorry. You're great. Hey, fix your chair. Your chair's about to collapse. You gotta fix it. Just fix the chair. Solve the problem. No, I actually am fine. It's just like, everything feels

I don't know, everything's weird. It's weird. It's weird. It's odd. That's why drugs are bad. But then I feel like I'm reacting the way I normally would, and then you're not reacting the way you normally would to me. They're weird. In general, I don't think, listen, I'm going to tell you the serious truth,

Damon. It's fucked up you thought it was bowling for soup. It's fucked up. No, the serious truth is I've been being completely like i would be except for the stuffed animal thing you know what's fucked with it is i think so the reason i thought that the reason i thought that is like i have listened to blink 182 songs up until that moment right right i had somehow gone my entire life without listening to i miss you that's actually insane because it was such a big.

I know. Does this look different? I can't believe I look like a hard thing, though. I can't. Did it look different for you? It looks as it always has. Like you have a lame ball. It's a little sad.

Oh, boring. Don't say this. Come on. I wish it was hairier or balder. This reminded me. But it's so boringly in the middle. I could shave for you. Why did you shave your asshole? Yeah.

Why did you shave it? Why did you shave it? Yeah, you'd say it. Tell us why. And then you said you would compliment him. Yeah, that's fine. Maybe you start with that. Maybe you start with that.

Well, no, I'll tell you guys. One, I lied. I shaved my asshole. It wasn't every week for a year. It's absurd. Okay. I shaved it every week for like a six week period. Still substantial. Why?

Still substantial. Did you do it for some sort of experiment? Was there a girl in your life? No, it actually had nothing to do. I wasn't even dating. Okay. But I did it and I loved the feeling of shitting without having any hair. Is it different? I loved it feeling of shitting without having any hair. Is it different?

I loved it. Well, yeah, because the hair catches. It's amazing. We have bidets now. We live in a bidet world. So what's up? What are you talking about? Shitting without hair is way different.

Have you never shat? You're talking about it like it's Mr. Potato Head's hair. Dude, you know what it actually is? Do you know how we talk to people about using bidets and not using bidets yeah it's like same yeah no way yes it's like that i think i'm realizing i have shaved my asshole for so long that i i can't really remember you can't remember what it was like i've been using bidets too long wait you shave your asshole or are you saying the analogy? Yeah, like enough. How often? Like probably

at least once every three weeks. Do you use the manscaped? Yeah. To first. Not sponsored. And if I really care, I'll use a razor. Oh my. You shave your asshole with a razor? You close shave your asshole? Yeah, it's not that hard. That's crazy. So you

go over your sphincter with the straight with the razor like a razor blade yeah i'm just i'm trying to get me not often it's like you sit on the toilet and get under there special occasion you sit on the toilet i like how five seconds ago you weren't surprised about shitting with no hair in your ass, but now you're like, how do you do that? I'm just, I have never shaved my butthole with a razor. I've never taken a razor to any part of my body that wasn't above the neck. You know what? It's all the same.

Oh, you've never close shaved your dick? Never. Whoa. He's never been gay. I've never been gay. You're so straight. So every 14-year-old, I'm cool, right? Because, you know what I mean?

Yeah. Because you're not faking gay. year old i'm cool right because you know what i mean yeah because you're not faking i've been had gay i've been had kind of gay it's dude it's chill i'm smoking on gay i think it's great i don't know how the conversation got there at lunch today but we're too we're at the we're at a nice place like families around us but we got around to like just talking about we were talking about like just sex in general at the end of the conversation. My favorite fun fact is me and Nick took that sexual compatibility test.

Did we ever talk about that on the pod? Oh, we were like the same or something, right? Were you guys good for each other? We were talking about being vanilla or not. So they're both vanilla. Eamon's a bit dom-sided. You're a bit sub-sided. Both of you squirting your heads off. Boobies flying around.

Boobies flying thick and butts. Zipper 2 better watch out, dude. I walked away and I missed all this because you were lying down on a bench. This was way after. I know, I know. But this is why I walked away because you were lying down on a bench

getting stretched out. And audio listeners, I'm sorry, but like leg up and you're like push. Yeah. I said aim and do a groin stretch. It's a very public setting. It's so public. There are children feet away. It's so stupid.

There are children. No one can see. I'm concealed by an entire table. No. No. I was standing up. I was the one like. I, I, I, even as as someone I thought you were with me

honestly I was like as someone who understands social context and sees the whole picture here I'm going to do this anyway because it's really funny and as someone

who also understood it I saw the old person literally stop their conversation to talk about your activities good and they're like this 75 year old

man and woman they like looked over they were so old. They looked over. They're so old. They're like... Really? Yeah. That's funny. I was just stretching.

Maybe they should do that shit. It is funny. Yeah, maybe they should stretch. The position you were in, it's like you're wearing those short shorts. These ones. You're wearing women's shorts

from Target. When I stretch you out like... When I get you all bendy. You were stretching me out right on the bench. Yeah, like it's... Shit's hanging out, dude. I don't know. Nothing was hanging out, dude.

Not literally, but it's like you can see up your shorts. You know that. No one had that vantage. No, okay, that actually is true. Walker buys. No one could see. If you walk into the restaurant, you saw it. Absolutely not.

You guys are... You know what? That's the appetizer. You guys are prude. You get Slime's balls into the restaurant you saw it absolutely not you guys are you know what that's the appetizer you guys are prude you get slimes balls into the fucking and i salad and i was not exposed to anyone nor what you were right up in my shit and you couldn't see anything can't win against time because i'm just being correct what about what about people couldn't see but then you feel like they could see he's like it doesn't matter the prudes what about right after when you started taking your shirt off and yelling at those kids that was definitely a mistake yeah

i'm at least we agree there nick wasn't there but i but i would scare some kids with my voice i tell them to get the fuck out go home don't touch any jankum don't touch that jank don't fucking huff any jankum you go home you do your homework that's what i'm saying what jankum is you not know i mean i knew it from you explaining it to me this is we had a conversation you're like yeah i was talking about jankum ain't he the one who did the dollhouse stream 20 jankum 985 dude 20k patrons we all hit the jankum oh shit no okay i don't think it's uh it's like a way to get high, apparently. I've never done this. I've never even met anyone who's done this.

Because it's hard to believe. Allegedly. But it's like you piss and shit into a container, usually a jar, and you close it, and you let it fester and get weird. Then it turns into kombucha. And once it's there. And you sell it to health food stores. They love it.

You open it after some amount of time time and you huff it real hard and it's called jankum and you apparently get really high. Off your own shit. Well it could be someone else. Off your own supplies

they say. In the biz. And I was saying there's probably like someone who's really good at making like top shelf jankum. Like they eat real

weird. Yeah. Like it's like just chicken nuggets. Grass fed jankum. It could be like from farm to table here i have my boy who only eats pineapple it's like he makes the they have like a farm it's like a pepperidge farm commercial but it's like he only knows gross guy on the package

one thing and it's that that sweet yellow fruit and pooping in this fucking press jankum. I'm farming jankum from this guy. Tony the Tiger mascot. It's great. That's good stuff. Real quick. Let me. I was gonna.

What was it? Something happened and it's I put in the top of the channel but you forget when you're having fun with your boys. You really do forget. It's true. You're the Sherpas. You guide. I can't believe you did that.

That's why I wore my safari hat. I hung onto that for a week. You didn't actually shave your ass. Oh, yeah. It was for a good six weeks. And I liked how it felt when I shit. But then the upkeep isn't worth. But once you're past the first...

What you were talking about. Where as it grows back and it hurts. Once you're past that, it's like just maintenance. The spiky period goes away if you do it like, do it a couple times. I don't know.

It's a maintenance thing. It's like shaving your head. You find out that it's a lot more work than you might think. I miss when you let me shave your head. Dude, get involved.

Do you think you have more skill than him now, though? Like he wouldn't do it. Yeah. It's hard. I don't know. I feel like a second person just has such a better angle at your head. I do always. Do I have any spots missed?

You seem pretty good. Oh, yeah. You missed this spot right here. No, it's right here. No, look. Look. He is doing this. He's battle war.

He won't look. Can you get me, bro? I was right on the street, bro. You can't get him, bro. Dude, he's un-gettable. Josh got me at the tournament. What'd he do? He just like, drops something, man.

And then I looked. Dude. And it was unfair because five minutes before that, I actually had dropped something. So it hit you with this thing? Yeah. So I have to look. Wait, what did you guys call it in the day? I called it the square game. I don't think I had a name for it.

We called it square game. I don't remember the name for it. It'd be really funny if the stakes for that were so high, like in some sort of fucked up society, where it's like if you get got by it, you got shot in the shoulder with a gun. You die. Yeah. Maybe not die. No, you should die. Okay, so you get got by it, you got shot, like, in the shoulder, like, with a gun. You die. Yeah. Maybe not die.

No, you should die. Okay, so you get shot in the face. Yeah. And it's, like, everyone's just kind of, like... Like, quid game. It's, like, quid game. Ooh, quid game? Yeah.

Oh, that's a good idea. I watched a YouTube video today that was, like... You know, everyone right now is... Not right now, but, like, a couple months ago, it was just, like, squid game, but it's this. Yeah. And I watched one that was in a rock climbing gym. It was actually pretty good. It was just, like... You know, like, that was in a rock climbing gym uh it was actually pretty good it was just like you know like it was just a bunch of things that you had to do on the

rock wall and i was like damn but it makes like this is content for me now that now that it's climbing you're into it yeah yeah oh it looks fun oh you're glad um fuck you guys always get me yeah oh yeah that's right what's happening right? What's happening on the streets of the internet and the world and society? Murder. Joan Rogan. Oh, Joan Rogan? Dude, the number of podcast episodes that keep getting pulled is going up. Dad, you got to stop watching Joe.

Is it just off of him saying the N-word? Yeah, there was a super cut of him saying the N-word a whole bunch. And then someone at Spotify was like, they rung like a dinner bell. And they're like, go, someone go check all the episodes. And they started pulling eps. Whoa. Yeah, they pulled seven. Has anyone made like a supercut?

Yeah, but now it's like 100 something. You know that song that's like the N-word like five times and it's like I'm 100% and the N-word again? Has anyone made a supercut that's just all unique joe rogan instances of him saying it but it's that song with the beat behind i'm sure you could get there someone someone get that shit on the way put that shit on the conveyor belt i'm actually super interested to see what happens because spotify is like you pay that much fucking bread for a guy you you don't check to see if this could happen and then it's like it happens and then you're like, uh-oh, spaghetti, guys. We have one supercut,

and it's called the Stavros episode. Me? No, of the yard. Of the yard? The yard gets us thrown in jail? Yeah.

That episode's funny. I think it's funny. Not even close, bro. But I do think it's like, what the fuck do they do? They're in such a dumb spot that they... I think they might croak.

What do you mean? Spotify? What does croak mean? Like not support Joe Rogan. You think they might... What's a better word for this? Bail? They might bail.

But he's probably... I feel like he's probably paid out no matter what in his contract. It depends. So contracts like this have clauses where it's like, okay, if you specifically do something that damages the brand of the platform, for instance, n-word a bunch and then have it put out into a video i'd be shocked though it's in my youtube project it says the n-word clause section 3.1.2 which sounds like a really racist christmas we had to red light it to just really get it really get it uh come on so yeah so it so there's probably a part in the in the contract that they're probably the lawyers are going back and forth right now talking about like well does this

damage the platform i'd be surprised if it worked retroactively if oh it can yeah they can pull your money because they're like if you ever do this and he's like bet and then they sign all this stuff and they're like wait you did it a while ago and he's like yeah you signed me what are you talking about they can pull it back the way legal contracts work is really interesting because you're just trying to put in enough language to when you do take it to court that you can like be like well it says uh reasonable right here so that means a lot different things than you know certainly or something are you good bro i'll leave you i don't know from someone who has like done contracts for Ludwin Anders,

I'm so in the sauce of wondering what's going on in those meetings with all the people. And Joe Rogan just kind of shitting his own pants and just finger painting. I saw the headline in the video. It's like Joe Rogan apologizes for his use of the N-word. And I was like, this is the first time I'm seeing one of these? Yeah.

It feels like. This feels like I've seen it before. Have I not? It kind of feels like the Berenstain Bears. Yeah, the Mandela effect. Everyone says they've seen this video before, but they haven't. It was all old episodes, right? Yeah.

All you had to do was watch the old episodes. They were up, too. They were just up. Yeah. It wasn't like a hidden thing. It's like, why didn't you care at the time, Spotify? It's so trash, dude. This is what the skeleton is what Eamon is right

now. I feel like they reversed. He feels very open. How do you like the grass, though? It's the same as the floor. Dude, he is so still Eamon on mushrooms. I don't care about the grass. Like, he is so still aiming on mushrooms. I don't, dude, I don't care about the grass.

Like, the grass, like, whatever. Like, I'm sorry, like, whatever. It's just grass. I like it. How do you feel? You look pretty chillin'. Yeah, the thing about me is the camera's on, and I'm on. So when the camera's off, you become a...

Shut the fuck up. I thought it was such a prank. Dude, you are reacting to mushrooms the same way you react to gummies. Yeah. This is crazy. It's kind of simple. Honestly, it's like in the same family tree of feelings. Are there?

Zipper, not if they are the same. It's more of like the feeling. Really? He's big time nose. Well, Zipper would know better than I do. I feel like light dose. It's like pretty. You feel more. Maybe we haven't hit. You laugh at shit. You think about I do. I feel like light dose, it's like pretty, you feel more,

maybe we haven't hit the, you laugh at shit, you think about shit differently. Maybe we haven't hit the event horizon yet. Maybe, maybe pretty soon. I just,

I feel like, 30 minutes later, they're just sucking each other's dicks and we're like, stop! It's like the Spongebob, like two minutes later.

Aiden's just getting top. When we hit like the 20K and we do our Ket episode, that would be the worst thing. I just still think, we get Tricky Mac on, do some ketamine. That'd be dope. that'd and we do our Ket episode, I just still think I'm just going to be on. We get Tricky Mac on, do some ketamine.

That'd be dope. That'd be great. The Ket app. Do you break for Ket? What do you break for? No, it was lean, the whole thing. Lean, right.

That was your drug. He had a whole anecdote about it. I forgot it was a lean drug. People were telling me that their Spotify was force feeding them that song that is my edge break song. And it's like a really old song and I'm like, damn, the algorithm

hard at work. Wait, if you just mention it a bunch it comes up? Yeah, apparently. Wait, what? Remember when I said there was a song that came on in the club that was the whole thing? So people were messaging me who were like, that song is showing up in my Spotify recommended music after the episode, but I

don't listen to Denzel Curry. Bezos and Susan. It's an old song. They're listening to us right now. That song came out when I was like a freshman in high school. Do you think if Bezos and Susan like teamed up and, but not in a business way. Yeah.

Yeah. What kind of way? Like a way that wasn't business. Uh-huh. Like pleasure. And they, and they fuck on that yacht while they throw tomatoes at it tomatoes at what?

do you know what I'm talking about? the Bezos yacht thing where they're like taking down this big dutch bridge to take it out and there's going to be protesters who throw tomatoes at the yacht as it comes through that'll show them this sounds like a Popeye episode

him and Susan making love on the yacht That'll show them. Yeah. Which is so fucking funny. This sounds like a Popeye episode. But him and Susan making love on the yacht while protesters. Yeah. Bezos is just fucking like, fuck you, dude. There's no chill way to own a yacht. That's so crass. Susan's getting more involved with that. If you own a yacht, but it looks like a big old wiener. That's a pretty chill way to own a yacht.

I think it's the only chill way to own a yacht. It's a big wiener yeah it's a big no because then like what if elon musk did it he will he's literally and we called it moby dick or something dude everything elon musk is like your parents when you're 10 and it's like oh you love pokemon and then elon's like oh i i do too and you're like fuck off dude you're such a you're such a bitch how do you make everything less cool what's the one thing he could touch that like would he couldn't

he couldn't fuck with he couldn't fuck with Melee imagine though Melee's already pretty lame culturally if Elon Musk got on timeline and was like that's not safe or whatever I'd just be like yeah yeah, bro, fuck you. I don't know. Yeah, I guess you're already lame.

He wouldn't. Yeah, that's a good point. Can't touch it. Too many communists play Melee, dude. Speak on that. That's true. It's heavy. No, like culturally, he'd be kicked out.

The communists would. Oh, I see. No, they would. If he showed up to a tournament, he would not get kicked out. Hungrybox Snap runs a tourney with Elon Musk. Oh, Elon, you want to play? I give you, you get me a Tesla, and then I'll train you a Jigglypuff. And that's how he does it.

He beats him, and he's just like, it's crazy that he's that smart, and I was able to win. Fucking wanton, bro. You pointed out, yeah, you pointed out on the stream in LACS when he beat Cody, and he like, just freaking out. And then he stops for a sec, goes and turns on Guile's theme. He's still in stream mode. And then goes back. And then continues to pop off because the clip won't include that.

And you're just like, what's happening here? I realize that most of his Melee career was being a streamer before he was a streamer. Yeah. And now I get it because I'm streamer- brained. Yeah, the only, that's one of the things that keeps me going on Wand is he was definitely doing the same thing in 2012 when nobody was fucking watching. He was a streamer brained. That's a good point.

Yeah, that's a really good point. Hear about Kim and Kanye? What? Kim and Kanye? I saw the text message. I'm talking about the one text message. You seen it? Yeah, that's just hilarious. It's like, it's a cousin, Kim's cousin, right? Reaches out to Kanye, and she's like, damn, fucked up what's been happening to you, Kanye.

Because you only got divorced, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Pete Davidson smash. Yeah, I get it. And then she's like, but like, you think I can get Yeezys? No way. Yeah.

Next message. And Kanye's like, don't talk to me about Yeezys right now. There's literally a song about this where Kanye was talking about how his cousin tried to blackmail him or some shit. Oh, that's a lot to up. Yeah, yeah. There was that one headline where it was like, Kanye buys

a massive house next to Kim Kardashian as he was stalking her or something. His kids are there. Yeah, what? They have kids. what a freak am i right twitter there's that weekend lyric too and he's like my cousin tried to take a picture with me at grandma's funeral yeah that's fucked up my damn it's gonna be you that's gonna be you but i'm your bro you're gonna you're gonna be at a funeral your family member and like someone's gonna walk up and be like yo dude fucking plan is simple it happened at Mikey's wedding

that little fucking yeah but that was cute that was a wedding yeah that was like a 14 year old kid and he comes out they're just the funeral they're just the funerals

of love I don't wanna have to be at Slav's funeral being like yo okay man we'll go to the side though dude if someone comes to my funeral

and they're disrespectful I require you guys to literally I'll jump them beat the shit out of them I'm down I will make that promise to you. If somebody's disrespectful at my funeral, don't do anything.

Yeah, because you don't care because you're dead because fucking life doesn't matter. Because you're so fucking red-pilled. It's just dirt and soil, dude. It doesn't fucking know you. That's not the fucking thing. But also, like, can you bury me with, like, this album I really like? That would mean a lot. Yeah.

It's called Nujabees. I don't know if you've heard it pre-Underground stuff. Dude, I love Nujabees. I don't know if you've heard it. Pretty underground stuff. Dude, I love Nujabees. Have you heard Feather? I'm with you on that. I'm with you on that. It's like, it starts with this, like, cool guitar part, and it's like, but then a beat

comes in. Yeah, it's really experimental, but, like, fresh. If you could bury me with a flash drive full of Samurai Champloo. But also, let me tell you about how spider-man is subversive what the fuck that's not what i said but that's where i come from that's how it feels that's how it feels that's how it feels god anthony's anthony's caricature of me is a menace and i will agree with that the version the version of me that anthony is crafted like for it for the scream out for the story is i'd hate that it's not for this here's the thing

you think it's for the story that is literally what i see in my head yeah that's the person i'm screaming at whether or not it lines up with you this morning at lunch i was like this place looks different and you were like yeah i told you that i did fucking tell you that and then i was like, this place looks different. And you were like, yeah, I told you that. I did fucking tell you that. And then I was like, yeah, but I saw it for myself and now I care. No, that's not. But that's how it felt. That's how you interpret it. See, this is what I'm saying. Yeah, I'm with you.

I'm with you. You're with me. No, I'm never with you. He's with me. I'm with Aiden. I was just like. Stand with Aiden. No, I remember you saying that.

That's why I said something at all. It's just nice to hear an acknowledgement Yo you said this place was different But Fuck I'm really surprised And I'd be like I know

I'm surprised I was surprised I fucking God this is such This is such a shitty I feel like this is such a shitty episode bro Really? Yeah this

This has been really nice Dude has it? This feels like Yeah I feel like this is Shit Really? Aiden has ego death and realizes we aren't funny that's crazy i think it's been a mid-app i think i think you guys need to be more topic sherpas i think this has been really good i'm having a great time yeah you guys are hey you know what let let it's

possible let the sober guys judge how funny we are. Look at you. You're telling me this is bad content. I need Yan's opinion. Yan is the only person who can ground me right now. Yan, get in here. You need to talk to Eamon right now. Okay. Yan, what's your opinion on the episode?

On a gradient scale. One to ten. On a gradient scale, one to ten. A seven. You hear that? And Yen has high standards. Be honest, Yen. Have you listened to other episodes?

Besides the one you recorded last week? Fair enough. And what was that episode at? Yeah. Last one was good, I thought. Last one was a nine. This is a seven. We're trying to carry.

It's hard. Happens. It's all right. All I can think about is how... I don't know. What's wrong? No, tell us. Speak your piece.

My hands are so sweaty, dude. And I don't think I would have noticed it unless Zipper had said something. You want this guy? No. Take the guy. It's a fucking guy. I want you to hold the guy.

He's got his own guy. I've got my own guy. Well, you're not holding him. He's got his own guy. I've got my own guy. Well, you're not holding him. He's lonely. Yeah, because I don't want to make him sweaty. That's a good point. He wants to be sweaty. He is a Snorlax.

I feel like he sits in the sun all day farting. Shitting, farting. He's crazy. He's so mad at you. Why me? Yeah. Wait, what happened? Let's go.

I get off the heat off me. Because I feel like you're not. You're not. We're not on the same level right now. He wants you to suffer. That tilts me. Look, this is what I think to myself. I think, one,

he's doing worse than me, so I look way better. Right? This is exactly like the gummy episode. Two, these guys, it's all on them. So if the episode blows,

it's their fault, not our fault. I'll take it. All we have to do, our job is just to be high. I know, I've been driving him off. I'm going to touch you. No, you don't get it. I'm going to touch you. Our one job is just to make ourselves be high.

Oh my God, dude. Don't do that. You feel like a corpse. Yeah, you're like a sluggy, sluggy bear. No husband. Have you seen Australian Corpse Husband? What? No. You haven't seen this guy? I No husband. Have you seen Australian Corpse Husband? What? No.

You haven't seen this guy? I would love this. He's Australian Corpse Husband. He's on TikTok. He has a deep voice. He has a Japanese girlfriend. Wow, he's really living all the dreams simultaneously. Choke me like you hate me.

That's pretty good. Corpse also got an anime. Corpse got an anime anime he's like a boy skin anime guy he's a character in anime corpse is such a it's like him and dream are like two people I'm deathly afraid to talk about ever at all I'm dead ass their fandom is

fucked up scary what are you scared of dream let's target it down. I'm not afraid of dream. I'm afraid of the people that will send me my IP address from seven houses ago. I'm scared of that. A bunch of them are listening to this, and they're like, goddamn right. That's right.

Hey, you guys win. You guys are the new Anonymous back when Anonymous was kind of cool and subversive. It is cool that Anonymous is built around Minecraft now. Yeah. It's the great unifier. And they can just lash out at anyone. Anyone that pisses them off. And I respect that power. Power respects power. Where does your power?

What can you do? I'm a charming. I'm nice. He is charming. He is. He's even. Yeah. Oh, yeah. He is. He's even sending me texts.

What have you been doing? All Eamon knows is that I'm a charming guy. Yeah. And he respects me for that. Yeah. But I still don't think I have as much power as Dream. No, I don't. That's why I respect power.

Right. That's fair. It's like i'm the console of rome and i'm biblius dare i say he was a huge pussy and then caesar's the other console and that's a dream and i'm like hey hey big g do what you do i'll be in my home not doing anything because i'm scared i think people fear you they do but they shouldn't they should be i think they should cutie's scared of you a bit. Why? Because you're going to do the,

maybe like a little red carpet. Yeah, the red carpet interview. She's scared. It's funny because, so we talked about doing the red carpet interviews for her award show, and I'm like, oh, I would love to do that. Ludwig didn't think I would like to do that,

which is funny because maybe he's trying to get me off of it. No, I just, maybe like, you are tired of, you always hated when i was someone's like do slime on the scene again yeah slime on the scene i thought was is that not just like doing something no because a red carpet spoof is a much different environment even though it might not seem that way for man on the street so i'm like down and i was also telling her i was like this is literally my bread and butter it's the one thing i'm good at i would like to do it yeah okay but she's afraid i'll like hurt a streamer's well yeah because, yeah, because Sykuno comes up to you.

All right, let's do it. I'm Sykuno. I'm coming up to you. Oh, can you do a good Sykuno impression? Hey, how's it going, Slime? God, you sound so weird all the time. Oh. Why are you like that?

I don't know. I just... Go fuck yourself. No, I'm just kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. End scene. All right, let's run it for real.

Let's run it for real. Okay. Whoa, what's up here? I'm kidding. I'm kidding. End scene. All right, let's run it for real. Let's run it for real. Okay. Whoa, what's up here? I'm at the crazy, cool streamer awards. I got Sykuno here. How's it going, bud? How's it going, Sy? You seem in good spirits, but you never seem like you're not.

Yeah, I just, you know, I'm just having a good time here. Are you afraid of anything in the world? God. God. Yeah. I guess we are afraid of the things. I fear God. That we can't kill back to you

thunderous roar rings in my head daily and i i get out on my knees and i ask him for forgiveness and it'll never come and it never comes and flesh and and burning flesh and flesh and flesh and flesh i cover my mouth i think he might hear me speak and i don't want him to know what i'm thinking oh yeah well that's crazy anyway it'll. I'm telling you. I know the fun part of being on the street is making sure you're the butt of the joke all the time.

You get your jab in and then you come back and you go, no, you're the guy. For real. Yeah. I think it'll do great. I trust.

I'm not nervous. I'm not nervous at it. Oh, yeah. I do get nervous about you around influencer friends of mine. I'm sure. Just as a human.

How so? Just because like, you know, I just don't want like, because you're so close to me. We're so close. Just because like, you know, I just don't want like, because you're so close to me. We're so close. Who do you, who do you,

if you sound, if you know, dude, they all love him. Here's my question, right? They all hate him at first though. No,

it's not true. So we're all going to, so you want to your streamer. Let's just say someone we don't know. So like toast invites you to like a house party with all the streamer friends. And we all carpool together. And once we get there, uh, you realize that you left something at home and you want two of us to go back with you and you want one of us to go in because we're on time who do you send in

who do you send in to be the one who has to it's 100 i would say that's a bad question because it's so obvious i literally did it was a it was a convoluted scenario it so sorry. I was literally thinking of something to myself quietly in the corner. It was a convoluted scenario. I want to know what you were thinking. It's not funny at all. I would like to know. It's okay. I was just sitting.

I'm just fucking. So the question was, Ludwig brings all of us, the three of us and himself to a disguised toast house where there's a bunch of people and it's a dinner party

and you send one of us in first and he says he's like oh shit I forgot my big giant sibian I was gonna give to toast we have to go back and get it

but it's so heavy because it's comically big it's so big three of us need to carry it you're right you're right mine was more convoluted but one of us

need to stay here and be like hey i'm representing the ludwig delegation but it can't be ludwig yeah so which one of us does he leave it's so weird that it can't be me to be at the dinner to be at the dinner party it'd be kind of fucked up if you were supposed to bring it and then you send us to get it yeah that's a good point yeah that'd be like i sent my lackeys and so the question is who does he send in and who does he bring home? It's always Aiden. It's obviously you. It has to be me. That's right.

But to get to your point, which I think is what you're going for, is your second, Slime wouldn't be close to first because he makes me nervous if he's around the influencer types because he doesn't care about anyone no matter what they do, no sheen. You might show up and Slly might have gone home. Yeah. I'd just see you in an Uber. That's part of why. I think it's what makes him so great. That's part of why they respect him so much.

But let's not forget what happened to Austin. I had to, yeah. I made someone feel bad and I had to say sorry and I was like, you know what? They were right for Austin's sake. As far as Sykuno, I think I still believe what I said but I just worded it terribly and got they were right, for Austin's sake. I don't know if Austin... As far as Sykuno, I think I still believe what I said,

but I just worded it terribly and got shit on for it, which is fine too. But, yeah, you're right. My method of living sincerely and not caring about status, unless it's like Mango, is definitely haphazard, and it costs me. It's consequential.

Your method of living, where you're just really nice to everyone because you don't harbor bad emotions because you train yourself not to it's like okay great that's money on your mind i just want to die fulfilled i got minecraft in my mind do you respect him yeah i think he's great who would you be fearful if they came to you celebrity you'd be like no like like more like no if you met him in person you wouldn't be fearful i'd be fearful he could say anything and he could have me killed in two seconds with bitcoin hit men yeah he could do to you you're more afraid of dream or bezos we might we might have to bleep

this but remember uh what uh did at the party to you dream could do that to you yeah i know and then it actually booms me we should tell that that's a good story i'll fucking tell it fuck it so there's this person person we'll be there now. This person who was at the time dating a Smash player. This was at the Big House 2017.

You know this actually ties in because at the time I had Shab who I didn't know really well at the time. Shab had said something mean to me

in like Mango's chat once and I checked him on it. I was like oh you said that fucked up shit to me. What's up bro? And I was half joking but I was half being like you know hey i remember you know and

a lot of it pulls me aside this is back when like we're we're just little baby bears we're nobodies and he's like hey bro you should chill out like we we're kind of like rubbing elbows with these guys you should like be more nice to them no and i was like fuck that and we went back inside and so anyway shab ended up out of dinner party. Shab ended up being a great friend. I love that fucking guy so much. We'll call you soon. And so we're at this, like, after party. It's a big house.

It's in a hotel. And this girlfriend of a smasher comes up to me, and I don't know her at all. And she basically, she whispers in my ear. And then it was basically something that asked me to whisper in her ear. Cause it's like kind of loud. And it's like, so I go and I, and I reply to her and then she,

she immediately after I'm done saying whatever my response was to her, which is just like some innocuous thing. Yeah. She goes, this guy just called me a slur for Chinese people. But she said what the slur was. And I'm like, no,

I didn't. And I'm like, what the fuck? And then a couple of people look, but a lot of people already know this bit apparently. So they're like, don't care. They think it's like,

I'm mortified. The problem with this bit is someone about 12 people away who doesn't know the bit heard that. And then instantly was like, oh shit. And like believed it and like went somewhere else. Not a good, it's a crazy bit. And then, but, and then heard that and then instantly was like, oh shit, and believed it and went somewhere else. It's a crazy bit. And then a little bit later, like 10 seconds later,

she's like, I'm just kidding. She says it to me. And I'm like, okay! Ken has already endgamed the most okay version of this bit. Which is him going up to you and trying to goad you. Kenshin wields his ethnicity

like a crazy fiery sword. He's like, you can say it. And you're like, no, I'm not going to do it. It's just you and me in here, bro. He tries to give you a safe space. Dude, the kicker with that bit

was he would get Danica to come over. Oh, God, dude. Danica's cool with it, too. Danica, you know what I'm talking about? And then she'd just like, what? And then say it. Like, she'd just say it out loud. And then Danica would be in on it.

God, dude. It's two against one? I'd crumble. I, like, basically crumbled everything. No, stop it. Stop. You have the Samuel L. Jackson interview? You ever seen that?

Oh, yes. A guy asked a question. He's like, so what do you think about, like, the Edward and, like, Samuel L. Jackson stops? He's like, what word? Yeah. Nobody? Nowhere? Nothing? It's so funny. And he's like so what do you think about like the edward and like samuel jackson stops he's like what word yeah nobody nowhere nothing it's so funny and he's like he's like just say it and the guy's like no it won't go to air if you say it i can't say it there's this like old there's this old uh video that's like this this older black guy on instagram with like this young kid and he's trying to like he's like goading him into like saying a line and the kid

is so uncomfortable like i can't say that i can't oh my god terrible thing to do with child hey you want to you want to do something i'll fuck with you way later on yeah yeah he's part of the jacob farm hey bro if you're selling jacob you can say what you want because you live a lawless life dude sick merch idea by the way jacob jars yard jacob selling Jacob, you can say what you want because you live a lawless life. Dude, sick merch idea, by the way. Jankum jars? Yard Jankum jars, yeah. And you can pick which one of us. Zippers Jankum jars, like a fucking green shit coming out of it.

How did the merch go? It probably sold out. Oh, ripped out. Dude, merch opened up, and the large hoodies sold out in, I think, 40 seconds. And then I was like, oh, shit. So I made a tweet, and I was like, by the way, hoodies are oversized. So if you get a medium, you usually wear a large. It'll probably fit.

You said that after it sold out? And then when I sent the tweet, medium sold out the next minute. Oh, by the way, they're super oversized. Small works. I think we learned a big lesson from this merch drop, which was maybe supply more merch. I mean, we did a lot. It was a surprising amount

that sold out so fast. Yeah, that's cool that people care and they want to buy our products and try to get us to have a million dollars. That's the goal. Once I hit a million, I'm out. So, good luck. Like personal dollars or yourself? Yeah. I see. On tax. You're not out. I'm out once I get a million post tax. You got your slime

ideas. Yeah, but I don't need to be in the office. Dude, you ever get a DM from Slime that's like a slime idea? You piece of shit. You piece of shit. Because I had a good idea, and you said, no. I'll say what it is. I was like, slime idea. Let me pitch it the way I would.

Fuck you. Fuck you. Slime sends me a text. He has to be the guy that does pitching. Slime sends me a text. He goes, let's make a movie with Jerma. And then I don't reply because I'm like, Because why reply to your fucking friend who loves you?

I'm surprised you didn't message me that. Because this is a nothing burger of an idea. Eat my shit. It's not a nothing burger because he's a fucking, he's an artist, dude. I watched that stream and I said, this is a beautiful man who does shit because he cares. Because he fucking rules. This is the Jerma, next Jerma stream. It was great.

He was really funny funny it was a good stream uh and uh and then you come into my room and you go let's make a movie with germa yeah i just repeat the text uh and it's just it's not even an idea suck my dick because here's what he said here's why he won't do it he's like no i'm like okay i get that answer a lot i was like why not because he's like uh i i said okay what if we just produce it, right? What if we produce like a Jerma production and it's like our thing and we like star him? Because he's like, he's Jerma, dude, and he fucking would kill it. And then he's like, no. I was like, why not? Because he's like, if I was going to do that much effort, I would just want to be the star. And I'm like, and I thought that was a fine answer. I thought that made a lot of sense. I'm like, okay, that makes sense. But then I was like, well, he's never going to do that because he's always busy. GG, goodbye. And I was like, okay.

You know what Ludwig said to me? This is a leak. We can take it out of the episode. But me and Ludwig were leaving the rock climbing gym. And I was like, Ludwig, help me brainstorm an idea because I really want to do like a rock climbing piece of content for the Yard Patreon. I'm like, help me brainstorm an idea. And he goes, I'll do you one better. I'm working on me brainstorm an idea and he goes he goes i'll do you

one better i'm working on an idea for that and you can come film it and i was like ludwig i want to why would you say i'm like i want to do it and he was so genuine and i'm like i'm telling you this because i want to do the thing because i like this hobby he's like he's like hey ludwig i want to take a trip to uh to to nepal he's like i'll do you one better. You can book my ticket. And then we go together. No, I think it was more so that rock climbing content is something that we should do

because we talk about it so much. But it's such a, I don't know how to do it. That's just not at all related to what you said. I don't know how to do it. And so I just kind of want to throw you at it. Nope. That's not what you said in the car. No. That's not what you said in I don't know how to do it, and so I just kind of want to throw you at it.

Nope. That's not what you said in the car. That's not what you said in the car. You can try one more time if you want. I'll act like I didn't hear that. The car man. I'm out. We got him. I was so mad. I was like, I don't want to brainstorm anymore, but fuck you. Yeah, you need to

work on that. Your bedside manner. I'll work on it, man. Do you consider yourself Yeah, you need to work on that. Your bedside manner. I'll work on it, man. Good luck with the video, though. Do you consider yourself a playboy? We're at 90, fellas. Do you consider yourself a playboy? We're at 90. Big 90.

Answer my question. Is this true? We actually are. You're a big 90. You consider yourself a playboy, playboy? I do. Lowy's not a playboy. Playboy, but I don't playboy.

All that, et cetera. Give us a little unzip. I want to see. I want to see. What do you... I want to see some hole. Show us your mutt. What are you doing? Show us your mutt.

Why make me get high and then make me unzip? Well, I don't like... That was good defense. Yeah. That's what they've done all day. Y'all are out of context. You're going to love that one. Say get high for this pod, but then unzip for me.

No. No, it's not like that but then unzip for me. No. No, it's not like that. We're going to do a bonus episode. Now that we've reached the 90 minutes, how do you feel from when you started to now? How do you guys feel? I feel like pretty good. You feel good? You look high strung, but maybe I'm just

smoking weed. I feel like I'm weirdly ang angrier than you're really hitting the whole spectrum huh yeah i don't i don't know what like i feel like the first 30 minutes everything was just really funny like now it's like sometimes it's funny but sometimes it's yeah i think i want to be more of a consumer than an adder what do you say that mean? I don't want to, while high, be like adding and being a part of it, but more so consuming it. Right, you don't want

to put that effort. Which I don't have the option to do if I'm like a fourth of a podcast. You do. Me and Nick could carry. I don't think you can is what I felt in that episode. That's the funny part

because we can. Yeah. But you're just seeing it so fucked up. I think we actually have maybe the whole time. Like from my perspective, that episode was terrible. That's so interesting.

All right. Hey, guys, vote on your phones. If you made it this far in the YouTube comments, if you thought, I want you to genuinely rate this episode, how you felt about it, one out of ten. Yan gave it a seven. Maybe it's higher. Maybe it's lower now.

What's going on in your head, Aiden? I want to go pee so bad. And I promised, I promised that I wouldn't pee on the set anymore. To who? Yourself? A friend of mine that listens. And I'm not going to pee on the set. Is it your dad? I'm going to go pee downstairs.

A friend of yours made you promise not to pee? No, they didn't make me do anything. I just fucking, let me go pee. Why am I being a terrorist? He's getting too angry. All right, so we'll see you on the Patreon if you want more of this adventure. We're going to hug our stuffed animals, hug your stuffed animals at home. We will see you on the bonus.

Goodbye.