The Yard - Ep 33 - We asked Asa Butterfield the hardest question...

Episode Date: February 23, 2022

This week, the lads venture to the UK to meetup with the star of Sex Education, Asa Butterfield. They discuss Asa's day-to-day life as an actor, the beans and toast meta and Asa pulls his tummy out for all to see.

can i ask you a question off rip do you think he's going bald be honest like there's potential yeah i could see you brushing it forward be honest. Like, there's potential. Yeah. I can see you brushing it forward. I can see you brushing it forward. Potential to keep this lovely head of hair. Bit of wax

just to keep it over. We're actually two for two on this. I feel like you're pretty good. Oh, I'm thick. You got a thick hairline. But the moment one hair falls in the shower,

it's like, finster ride. Yeah, that's what you start thinking. You know, he has a buff because you both have, you know, that's what you start thinking. You know, he has a buff because you both have the heritage, if you will. The London, he has London heritage.

Not London. And so he's able to see. We're just skipping over that he's lying. What? It's not London. I'm a filthy Scotsman. Oh, no way. Yeah.

That's gross, right? Scots are known for going bald. Yeah, that's their favorite. No, you made thatman. Oh, no way. Yeah. That's gross, right? Scots are known for going bald. Yeah, that's their favorite. That's their main exploit. No, you made that up. You made that up. They invented going bald. The first bald man was Scottish.

Look, welcome back. Welcome to the Yard. To the Yard podcast, starring good friend Asa Butterfield. What's up, guys? How you doing? Thank you. I'm very well. I actually have, I don't know if you remember this, but the first time we met was,

um, at a beyond the summit event and a zipper to, uh, off camera just now is a big fan of sex education. And she was really excited that you were at the event. And I was like, Oh, well I'll,

I'll like get a conversation started in some sort. And, the only conversation we had at the event, um, was I talked to you about bidets and we, we went Insta. Like I talked about your asshole maybe within the first three seconds of knowing you. And you were very down to have that conversation.

The problem was that she wasn't. She didn't really know how to engage in a conversation about your asshole. And so she didn't really get to talk to you at all. So, you know, that was the first time we met. I was just wondering if you remember that. I vaguely. Yeah. I was just like, hey, use the bidets here.

That doesn't surprise me. I'm like, use the bidets here. You're like, oh, yeah. It was just like, hey, use the bidets here. That doesn't surprise me. I'm like, use the bidets here. You're like, oh, yeah. It was this extremely like candid conversation because we had, I was actually so charmed because Asa remembered me

because we worked on a, like I was doing a, we were producing. Bald. I wasn't bald by then. He wasn't bald yet. He's still in hair. No, you're right.

He was like, that guy's got a month. This is a new thing? Because you had to squint his eyes when you walked in the building. You hit a light in a had hair. He was like, that guy's got a month. This is a new thing? Because you had to squint his eyes when you walked in the building. You hit a light in a weird way.

I was producing a comedy piece. He saw you today and he was like, that's exactly how I pictured it. I was producing a comedy piece

and we had this idea. I was like, oh, it's Butterfield's here because he came for the event just to hang out. And me and Dan

were like, hey, I wonder if he'd be down to get in. And so we had this shot of him. It's extremely funny. You killed the line. You did great. Then he remembered that. I was so

charmed. Of course, man. Can I be honest? Can this be an honest circle? For once. I'm a little nervous. Wow. When you came in, I didn't say hi because I was like, how do I deal? You guys saw Ross. Why are you nervous? I don't know because you know what? I don't know because you know what

I don't know wait I can explain it because I was also nervous because what I did because you were fucking late because you make guys like this wait no I felt good about that I was big time they were both late to be fair uh what I did is I looked up your Instagram and you have like like almost six million followers and like millions of likes and And I was like, it's a big deal. But then I went to his Twitter and I was like, oh dude, this is just like a smasher. He quote retweeted the panic controller

and he's like, looks good. And I was like, dude, he's just a nerd that happens to be a successful actor. Yeah. We talk about it a lot where it's like, you'll say something like, because you're on Liquid, technically, right? And that's cool.

You like announced it. And you're like, you're in the gaming space. All the replies have no idea what I'm talking about. Whenever I talk about Smash or games, they're like, what is this? That's the most common thread when we talked about you coming on the show was this. You like tweet like any normal like guy or like gamer does. And then in the reply, you're like,

yes, MK Leo clutched it out again. And someone's just like, fucking please come to Brazil. I'm begging you. I looked at, I looked at your most recent tweet today. It was like about jackass.

Cause I thought it was funny. Cause we had just watched that movie too. And then the first reply is like posting a scene of you kissing somebody in sex education. Do you like Twitter or Instagram more? Well, you just took your Instagram down

for a little bit. Yeah, I just deleted the app because, and I actually deleted Twitter as well. I don't really like either of them hugely. Sure.

If I had to pick one, probably Twitter. I think you can crack jokes on Twitter a bit easier. Yeah. I think it's a little more like your voice than just like, here's me in a picture. But I hate Instagram. I'm terrible at it. It's just so funny how disconnected the people who follow you are to the things that you're into outside of acting. Yeah.

Because you'll just post anything and they're just like, I love you so much and i don't know what you're talking about how do you reconcile that do you do you i i just don't well i just don't go there like it's you can i just don't try not to like scroll through it because there's some shit we are not the same i read every comment and i reply to them to this day i'll call i'll go i and I reply to them, to this day. I'll be like, go fuck yourself. To this day. I would not make it. Your brutality with Twitter is already reaching a breaking point now. Imagine if you had his following.

I'd be so busy. Yeah. Somebody would post, like some girl would post under a tweet you made, like, please, please come hang out with me. And you'd tell them to fuck off. I would just be like, that's not what the point of this thread is. And it makes no sense in the context of this. It's just annoying.

And you're being annoying. And it's like, you will never be me ever. It's got to be like a one-way thing. As soon as it starts coming back, then it's a slippery slope. You're parasocial. I'm not parasocial. With your followers. No, I'm not parasocial. It's the. Wait, isn't he the opposite of parasocial?

It's the opposite of parasocial. Because he keeps reaching out to them and talking to them. I don't reach out to them. You're using the incorrect, this is not the correct definition of the word. We're not. That's insane. I think the difference maybe is slime is like fuck off, and it's just like a 27-year-old guy who is just like into the show.

If Ace says fuck off, it might be a 14-year-old girl. That's true. That's true. That's true. She'll be upset for a long time. It'll ruin her entire high school. That would ruin them. You should do it once. Just to find out.

Here's something. I had this idea. So it's a bit of an icebreaker. And I think this is important because we are Americans and we have come to your land. My local. This is like my local pub.

Is it really? Yeah, I was here not even two days ago. How is that when you come through? I'm sure it's kind of like the same theme. Do you come through and it's like, oh, it's ace of time and everyone knows or you just like chill in the back? Like a pub? Yeah, what I'm saying is like, how's the vibe when you're hanging out as a guy? As like, you know, hi, I'm Ace of Buffalo. Do people respect you? Yeah, what I'm saying is, like, how's the vibe when you're hanging out as a, like, you know, high-emace bugger? Do people respect you?

Yeah. Like, for the most part, people are, like, super chill about it. Yeah. And especially, like, around here, no one really gives a shit. Sure. People just got so much else going on. I can kind of walk down the street and it's fine. But going to, like, town, like central London, then it gets a bit more kind of...

But everyone's super nice about it so have you peed in the trough in the bathroom? yeah dude it's scary I went into the bathroom it's just a trough it's not disconnected

it's a wide for like six men do you guys not have that in America? we do I can't believe you live for 26 years Give me one place where there's a trough. Give me one place. A venue, like a concert venue in Seattle. Okay, that was oddly specific.

A restaurant. Almost everywhere has specific urinals that maybe have a separator. You also have been to Europe a ton. Yeah, I go to France. They have troughs. No, it's way different in France. That's where he uses the bidet.

I go to France and there's dirt roads andoughs. No, it's way different in France. That's where he uses the bidet. I go to France and there's dirt roads and it's fine. It's different in France. There's like the bidet that shoots up the water and you walk over after pooping and it's a different whole thing.

It's great in France. You're oddly specific for a guy who is like mouth, drinking out of a bidet with your mouth. That's true. He's done this on video.

For 20 bucks though. 20 bucks. You were so proud of that smile when you said that. 20 bucks, I'll so proud of that smile when you said that. 20 bucks, you know, I'll still do it.

No, you would not. No, you would not. You fucking wouldn't. Here's why. No, because we're staying in this Airbnb that's like really nice. It's like three bedrooms

for six people. It's like two people per bed, like normal people. He's like, I don't want to live like a smasher, bro. And he goes and stays in his own hotel

and shows a goddamn leather jacket. He's telling me he's going to drink out of a bidet now? Okay. Dude. No, I'll defend you.

We were at Connor and Schlatt's. He set up the bidet and you did it. You drank out of it again. He did it the two times. Was any cameras rolling? Yeah. Was that like mouth to tap? Or did you fill up a cup?

It was, no, it was shooting. You know like a school water fountain? When it's like some kids just kind of do one of those. He had to stretch his lips so he could get it all the way over. The water couldn't come out fast enough. I was like Kirby in the new ad. I had the whole mouth over it and I was just like sucking it. I went Kirby on the bidet.

Yeah, I get a little nuts. Yeah, there's nothing wrong with a trough. And also, I did not say you live in some Smash brothel. I got a recommendation for a hotel. No, you told Nick I don't want to live like a Smasher. What I specifically said is I think Anthony orders places to live like a Smasher. And Aiden agreed with me. Are you...

No, I said, yeah, I think that's fair. We booked this place like we would when we went to Smash Tournaments all the time. I feel like it's the same level of place. This is also so classic, by the way. We have a Netflix actor on the show. Bickering. I don't think we've talked to him once.

Yeah, he gets some shit to... Oh, my icebreaker. All right. Oh, yeah. Let's go. Let's circle back. Trobs? Fine. You're afraid of male sexuality. All right. Oh, yeah. Let's go. Let's circle back. Troubles? Fine.

You're afraid of male sexuality. I am. Clearly. Men scare me. Okay, the second part. You should try it. The trough. I'll drink this, and if you want to pee with me in the trough later, we can't make that

Let's go have a swim. Okay. So we've been in this beautiful, magical land of swords and dragons, and we have a problem where we talk like British people disrespectfully. He's using we really incorrectly. Oh, you don't do it. No, I do Australian. Oh, you do Australian.

Oi, oi, gaba. Which is fine in this land because we don't respect Australians here. Okay, true. But listen, I think for give us like 10 seconds, we get all of our accents out. And that means we don't do accents for the rest of the episode as respect to Acer. And then could you rank who has the best and the worst? I'd be happy to. But we need to do it all at once.

Like a Friends episode when they play all of them over each other. Do you guys do like British accents? Is that like one of your things? Loosely, you could say that we do it a lot because I don't say that okay well okay so on the count of... I mean, that was sort of like 60s Cockney. Martin Panning. You're really validating him in a way that is going to live with him. I'm giving him something.

That's right. So you want to get it all out? Down the line. Go down the line. Start with Nick. Go down the line. Go down the line. Give me a sentence.

Go. I didn't know we were doing this one at a time. He's not prepared. Oy, oy, love. Veryi oi love alright here we go oh I'm fucking James Bond oh I'm fucking shagging Judi Dench oh it's a big fucking story he looks disgusted

he sounds like sort of Russell Brand don't fucking tell anyone what happened it is a little yeah he's been watching Russell's YouTube, I guess. The accent is so violent. So angry. James Bond. James Bond doesn't talk like that.

He's pot. Just finished killing the man. What a shag. That's classic Bond, dude. He's actually going to apply for the Bond. That's his Ludwig. All right, Ludwig. He's actually going to apply for the Bond. That counts as Ludwig. Hi there, morning pussy. Dude, we're going to get fucking kicked out.

This is not good. I don't blame him. I thought I had it, dude. You thought you had it. I thought I had it. I got to be top two. Oh, fuck. What is correct?

Just pretend we're in the car. Pretend we're in the car at home. It is more embarrassing for you. Well, it's Sprexit. I'll be going to close the fire department. You're like such a posh schoolboy. You're like an eight-year-old. I'm so posh.

Now Asa has to do his one American. And we can get out of the segment. Before he does it, our friend Josh says every time or Mike says, every time someone does an American accent that's like British, they sound like JFK, which I think is really funny. Wait, you're an actor. You've certainly done a role before where you're American, right?

Yeah. I've been paid to do an American accent. Yeah. I would hope it's okay. It should be. They gave you money for it. Here's the scene. I'm the president.

You're my son. And I have to kiss you on the mouth or the world busts up. Kiss you on the mouth for seven seconds. Oh, okay. All right. And I'm going in and I'm breaking some news to you. Oh, what's up? Hey, it's all good.

You can go through. Yeah, all good. This is a semi-active space. All right. Son, here's the thing. I just, I can't go with you because there's a war going on and I gotta be the president you're my adult son okay

there's a war what did you start the war for it's a great question he's much more reasonable as a human dude he had this southern drawl I can't tell where that person's from that was. I can't tell where that person's from. It was not intentional. That was good.

I can't tell where that person's from. They're not from LA. He's American. Whenever they ask me to do an American accent, I just try and make it as generic as possible. As soon as you try and do a southern or a New York accent, people from New York will be like, that doesn't sound American.

They're like, I love hamburgers. You got to go really nondescript. That was good. That was pretty good. That was good. It was not bad there. That was pretty good. That was good. That was like a Texas, you know, we were a Texas son and father. A light Texas drawl.

You're a bad president, by the way. I'm not a bad president. I needed to do that. The war was necessary. Now go through who do you think, British-wise. Who had the best? Yeah. I might give it to Slime.

Oh! Just for the commitment commitment he fully embodied it he had it in his arms and his legs this is the guy who was just running through the streets of London with the Austin Powers

theme song literally playing in his head and he was just pushing people around not people like random people yeah not a person that'd be terrible

just Aiden yeah that's fair this is when we were walking over I was thinking about is when we were walking over. I was thinking about this earlier. We were walking over to the pub today, just walking by homes, out front in somebody's yard.

There's just an open porn magazine. Dude. Just in the yard of somebody's house. It said, like, wank tonight. Yeah. It was crazy. I was like, who's wanking in the front yard? It's not okay. Somebody's just ripping it in the front yard? It's not okay.

Stoney's just ripping it in the front yard. That's hello here. It's just the mail. Yeah, it was crazy. It's the what? The mail. The mail? As in like...

He's going to take it back. M-A-I-L. Just like the mail comes to the point. I was just making sure that's what you said. Thank God. That's all right. Just a bit of a chump check. Can I be, maybe I'm the only one here,

I haven't seen a single thing that you've done, actually. Not out of some sort of protest, that's just never crossed my path. That's all right. No, I haven't either, but also in protest. That's actually really surprising. I'm protesting gamers who are actors. They have to pick.

It's either gaming or acting. It's like him and the guy from the witcher i will say though i want fucking henry cavill yeah yeah he also hates henry because he's just talking about video games all the time you are in this like beautiful zone because you've been acting for a super long time where we've had certain people we've told we're coming here to do this we're like oh it's you know ace of butterfield and they freak out and they're like huge fans of sex education like you know our age etc and then there's other people like I've just never heard of that actor but then there's people like zipper 2's grandmother who also freaked out and was naming all of your older movies we call

her zipper epsilon and uh yeah you're in like this interesting zone where it's like there's like people who I guess like a question I would have is like do you is mostly what you get recognized for on the street today? Like sex education. Yeah, it is now. Yeah. I think that's before that. Netflix is just so huge.

Yeah. Yeah. Like you do something on that and you can watch it anywhere in the world, like at any time. And the show was a huge success. And cause it's British, particularly in the UK, everyone watched it. Whether you're like my age or older,

it was kind of. Yeah. The UK is small. UK is small. It's like small in Texas. Tommy and it's like a celebrity here., it's kind of... Yeah, the UK's small. UK is small. It's like smaller than Texas. Tommy Inuit's like a celebrity here. Yeah? He's like a big, like everybody recognizes him.

Because he's like small and he's like 20 million subscribers. And there's like, what, 13 million people in the UK? Is that totally off base? 30 million? No, it's like 65. I think it's 65 million. Okay, I'm a little off. I'm a little off on some numbers.

Which is what I sound like when I'm just guessing. Yeah. Yeah, that's what you're like. We're the same. I shouldn't do that anymore. Well, I'm a little off. I'm a little off on some numbers. Is this what I sound like when I'm just guessing? Yeah. Yeah, that's what you're like. It's weird to say. We're the same. I shouldn't do that anymore. Well, that's hype. I saw you in Ender's Game, but you were a kid.

I was a kid. Is that weird? I was like 15. Wait, how old are you? That was the first film I did where I had an American accent. Really? Yeah. Yeah.

Did you have to get like a coach for that? Uh-huh. Oh, shit. Yeah, a dialect coach. Was your dialect coach American or just someone who understands? No, he was American. Yeah. But you kind of get people from all over. Oh, shit. Yeah, dialect coach. Was your dialect coach American or just someone who understands? No, he was American. Yeah.

But you kind of get people from all over. I could be a dialect coach. No, you could not. But it wouldn't be for American, it'd be for British. It needs to be a jar

for money. I embarrassingly thought you were American. It was like the Tom Holland bit. You ever see that where he does the interview and the guy's like, I thought you were American because he's British in the interview.

He's like, no, I'm pretending. He's like, how do you do that? Same thing with Andrew Garfield. When you're in America, when I'm working in America, I do just start talking in American accent even when I'm not working. Really? You kind of get a bit of a chameleon. Yeah.

And you just start saying the people around you. You do that socially because people are doing it around you or you do it to practice? You do it subconsciously. I see. I'm not even aware of it and then I'll sort of just start slipping into

slight American. I came back after doing Ender's Game. I came back home, got into my school and I was like, why do you sound like an American? And my little sister,

three at the time, came back and she sounded like she was from New Orleans because that's where we were shooting. She was like three years old and she's like,

my name's Loxy. Oh God, your brain's such a sponge at that point too. Yeah, yeah. She was like three years old and she's like, my name's Loxy. Oh God, your brain's such a sponge at that point too. Yeah, yeah. I was just, I was asking this question on the plane over here.

Like, at what age when you go to another country do you like just not pick the accent up? Like if I turn 30 and then I go move to London for the rest of my life, will I gain an accent?

I think it's more of a, it's not even necessarily about age actually. I think some people are just more prone to it. There's a name for it. It's something to do with... If you speak to someone who maybe they don't speak English or they've got a different accent, you will change your voice. It's code switching.

Is that what it is? I do it when I go to France, but I'll come back to America and I'll be like, excuse me, if I bump into someone instead of... They just call you a pussy. Yeah. What's crazy is that the rest of the time when you're in America when you aren't doing it

you're just doing Japanese yeah a language you don't know well I've been reading One Piece so I'm kind of oh yeah you're in there yeah sumimasen

are you a weeb Asa? am I a weeb? I mean I watch I've watched quite a lot of anime what's your favorite? Hunter x Hunter mmm classic

and he's a true weeb because he said Hunter x Hunter and not Hunter x Hunter because the X is silent. And he already knew that. Like lasagna. Yeah. Yeah. It is like that.

Finally some recognition. Real X's move in silence. Yeah. Roll away and say that. Yeah. I don't know. Yeah. How old are you?

I'm curious. How old do you think I am? I got this. Wait. Wait. I think you're 27. Wait. I think you're 27. Wait. I think.

Wait, hold on. That's a raw guess. Boy in the striped pajamas. 20. 26. Nice. It's close. He's mine.

You were April 1st, 1997. Oh, you. Wow. A Wikipedia reader. Oh, my God. You looked it up. Creep. You piece of shit.

Wait. I looked it up. 24? Yeah, I'm 24. it up. Creep. Wait, I looked it up. 24? Yeah, I'm 24. Holy shit. That's fucked up. I'm so old. About to be 25 on its way out.

I did not know I was older than you. That's crazy. This is going to happen to you. I thought we were the same. Look at him closely. That's not going to happen to him. This is going to happen to you. I'm sorry, man. He came in, the first thing he says to me is,

I have such thick hair. That was like one of the first things he said. It was. It's just so thick and healthy. He also got a haircut today, and it looks like he could still get another haircut. It grew since the haircut. I actually punched him in the wall after I did that.

But you've still got some, if you're like... Oh, yeah? If you want a bit of a snack, yeah. Tape it to me. A bit of like a jackass thing. Do you think if I bagged some of your hair on the floor, and I could sell it on eBay? Don't do that.

I really said don't do that. How much do you think I could get for it on eBay? Like sex education star Issa Butterfield's real hair. You wouldn't want to. I don't know. I don't even want to think about it. I'd get more money for my hair? Yeah, because you could market it well.

You would self-market it? Well, yeah, because he would be respectful and be like, don't buy it. And I'd be like, come on, fuckers. He wants a little hair. We were talking earlier before we started rolling about my condition. It's not a condition.

Does it always come back to his hair? Yeah, every episode. Also, this is a condition. This is a condition. Pectus excavatum. I have a hole in my chest. I was born with a sternum loss and an inverted rib cage.

That's a condition. You've also got a very bold belly. He's like a naked mole rat, he said. Is that British for something else? Is that like common parlance? No, I'm just commenting. Yeah, I do. He's making friendly combo, man.

I do. I do have that. And you got some tight ass pants. I just can't grow a hair. They're not that. He's making friendly combo, man. I do. I do have that. And you know? And you got some tight ass pants. I just can't grow a hair. They're not that tight. You got some tight ass pants. He's got thick thighs, man.

Yeah, he got some canons. I do have thunder thighs. I can pistol squat, though. I know you can pistol squat. What's a pistol squat? Oh, is that like a one-legged? Can you demonstrate? Yeah, yeah.

Oh, God. Oh, my God. What if I fail right here? Oh, wow. That's impressive. What the fuck? Come on, dude. I can't do that. I was here? Oh wow. That's impressive. What the fuck? Come on, dude. I can't do that.

I was going to say something. I just forgot. What did your socks say? Rage? It's, uh, it's, uh. I didn't want you to do that. My princess socks. Lovely.

Oh my, those are sick. Yeah. Those are pretty cool. Those are kind of swag. I'm fitted and kitted today. I try hard in London. No Crocs here. You Croc man, you any Crocs?

I actually got a pair of Crocs for Christmas. Really? Yeah. Do you use them? Do you like them? I do like them. I'd always hate on them, but now I wear them all the time. When I'm at home, I don't really go out with them. Yeah. Leslie's thinking about the time he went out with the Lightning McQueens.

He's like, yeah, me neither. I have Lightning McQueen Crocs that go on a shirt that says come in me. We did a decently big shoot recently that Ludwig was supposed to be starring in. And he's like, what do I wear? And I was like, just wear something nice. And he shows up in Crocs and a leather vest. My nice Crocs. You have pants.

They're all Crocs, man. I have 15. I can't tell if that's a joke. No, he's not a joke. He's not a joke. He's a gradient of color like a rainbow. And to be fair, he didn't buy them all for himself. For Christmas, I bought him most of the colors of Crocs.

And then Crocs, the company DM me on Instagram and gave me a bunch more. Nice. I'm trying to get my own Crocs. It's my dream. Oh, shit. You could, I feel like. Get my own Crocs? Yeah.

Just tweet at Crocs right now and be like, what's up? We're talking about a branded Croc, right? Like, that's a little difficult. I don't feel like I'm, like, integrated enough in the Croc community to just come up with my own Crocs. I'm on the forums. I'll say that. When we do our Croc swaps, you aren't there. Asa shows up to the Croc meetup.

He's got a GameCube controller. He's like, oh, fuck. I'm in the wrong spot, dude. How did you start playing Smash? Like, I played Melee when I was a kid on the GameCube, but I was like, I don't know how old. Not old enough to like, I was just down being with Bowser the entire time.

That's all I remember. A natural Bowser chooser. Yeah. Not a lot of you in the world. No. And then I got Brawl when it came out but even then I was just kind of

playing it for fun I didn't get into like competitive Smash it's been a while I mean like five five years ago oh I mean that's quite a while

so you started with Smash 4 competitively me too wow yeah and how did you how did you find like competitive

it's embarrassing I don't want to. I played Jigglypuff as a freshman. Okay. Who'd you play? Pikachu. Okay.

Pikachu's decent. Pikachu was really good. Pikachu fucked at my local. There's Pikachu guys who showed up and I was like, oh, come on. Give me one win today.

Jiggs was like the worst character in the game. Literally the worst, yeah. Yeah, my logic was I used jiggly puff in in brawl because i'd play with like a free for all of my friends and if you lost you get to pick the map so i'd go bridge of eldon and i would just roll out on the left side you've

never changed i i was that way you could put you could pick that map when you play is that like the not like competitive just okay for my friends and then when i went to like competitive events i was like oh i'll just do this again and it's different when there's only one person there Not competitive, just for my friends. And then when I went to competitive events, I was like, oh, I'll just do this again. And it's different when there's only one person there. Yeah, then he started getting pantsed and put in lockers. He had to switch off. It was tough.

Wait, so how did you start playing competitively? Where did you find that? There's a few locals in London. I went to my one, which is actually literally down the road from where I live. It's at this pub, this bar called Meltdown. And it's like the biggest local in London. And I just started chatting to the players there. And kind of got to know people in the scene. Wow.

Were they nice and cool? Yeah. Yeah, such nice dudes. Yeah. And girls. Mostly dudes. I embarrassingly admit this, but at the ASU local, I had like 120 people at Arizona State University,

the college I went to. And it was mostly dudes. And the bathrooms were filthy. And I'm very... I have a little pierisus. It's the medical condition of pee shyness. I have a baby version of it, where if it's really filthy, I can't pee in public.

And so I'd go to the girls' bathroom. Really? And it was a ghost town it was a ghost town you're just an empath man yeah yeah and uh and I and I I would have never admitted it back then but I'll say it now did you ever go into the girls bathroom by accident you're not looking or something and it's just stalls you're like what the fuck you're like mr crabs meme and then you run out because you're embarrassed you just stay in there well no i'm like if i'm already here might as well figure it out they're always nicer yeah of course we're filthy animals girls i think are grosser than men what oh you're bold oh my god here's the clip that's brave here's the clip you're going for why ludwig i i think if you ever have lived with a girl, they're just grosser on average. They have way more shit.

They're way messier. It's a whole thing. The only place I think I've seen consistently messier is the area around your sink. Yeah. They will fuck your sink up. That's true. With debris. It looks like the hangover in there.

There's just fucking shit. There's open makeup everywhere. There's wipes with all sorts of colors on them. Oh, shit. He's trying to get in. It's the wind alert. Someone really wants to play. There's a storm happening in London right now.

If you guys didn't know, it's red alert. Oh, it's someone with a package. We'll let him figure it out. It's all right. It's red alert in London. I. If you guys didn't know, it's red alert. Oh, it's someone with a package. We'll let them figure it out. That's all right. It's red alert in London. I've literally never seen, I had a thing on my phone that said red alert in London.

I've never seen that before. What does it mean? I don't know. No one knows what it means. That's such a bad system. That's so bad. I know because it was on the radio. There's a red alert until 3 p.m.

It's recommended to stay indoors for this time. We almost did this outside. Yeah. That would It's recommended to stay indoors for this time. And the guy- We almost did this outside. Yeah. That would have been terrible. That would be fun, though. We would have been fucked, right?

If you say. They're like us blowing. Yeah, great. Omid showed us that video before we started, and it was just a trash bin in the air blowing through a neighborhood, but way above the homes. Like a bird in the sky.

It was crazy. When that lands, it's going to be. It'll fuck someone up. Somebody's getting knocked out. It might be in Los Angeles when it lands. It's going to go for a while. It's the new Jackass. They're filming it.

Steve-O's in there. He's in there. It's going to land on me. Dude, new Jackass? Pretty fucking funny. It was wild. I saw it last night. I saw it.

I went like with low expectations. I was just like, I feel like the series isn't what it used to be probably and blah, blah, blah. But then I went. I saw it last night. I saw it. I went like with low expectations. I was just like I feel like the series isn't what it used to be probably and blah blah blah. But then I went I saw it I was like wow they

made a good Jackass. Yeah. In 2020. I found it weird because whenever I've watched Jackass it's been like I said Jackass like an American right now.

Jackass doesn't have the same ring. Oh my. You're such a Jackass. Donnie Knoxville. Yeah I watch it and I was laughing straight off rip at the ball sack but then

they kept getting hurt and I was like the one dude who kept getting his nuts like hit by that was that got hard to work on a big screen as well they should have just locked that guy in a room and shot him they were just fucking with him the whole movie the bear thing at the end of the

movie is maybe the most insane thing I've ever seen yeah I didn't fuck with the psychological torture of it why I think why why not it made me feel bad oh and I would just want to see more

penises and more balls the dinosaur dick at the beginning yeah it was iconic amazing it was so good I think the one thing the movie did a lot more that older jackasses didn't was there was more real stunts but fake situations. He's hanging from the phone line. That's definitely a set.

Yeah. He's an actor or whatever, but he's doing it. So it's partly like, oh, he's doing a stunt, but this is not a real... They're not going to fucking Wendy's and yelling fire in the hole and throwing a milkshake at the window anymore. I don't think they... They can't get away with it now.

Everyone knows who they are. I don't think they can get away with it anymore. It's like Borat. He can't make these stunts how he used to because everyone knows it's immediately what it is. I think the only things

that Sokka Berra Cohen can get away with anymore is when he's caked in six layers of makeup. He just has to be completely unrecognizable. Or Jackass in India.

Here's the thing. You say that, it probably already exists and has seven sequels. Bollywood is way too big for that to not. Bollywood Jackass? That's crazy. There's just no way that it's real. Let me fuck around and find out how that's real. I have a question, Asa. If the Jackass guys call you up and they say,

hey, we're doing another one. We want you to come on. We don't know the stunt. Are you interested? Do I have to get my dick and balls out? You don't know. But you have to give them an answer. I'm dying to know.

This one's bangers and mash. It's just smashing your dick with a hammer. It's just Asa and he's like shivering. In answer to your question, probably not. Really? Well, I feel like you would be so on edge the entire time on that shoot.

Because it's not just the stunts. Shit can happen to you at any time. You step out of a door. Like you go for coffee and you get punched in the face. That's what they would do. You would just be a celebrity on set who would watch the things, but then they go for coffee and you get punched in the face that's what they would do like you would just be a celebrity on set who would watch the things

but then they'd also try to like just hit you in the face really hard once it sounds so stressful it is I imagine but I also feel like this is something

okay maybe I'm off base I feel like you could do it not saying you want to but like are you not just in the position where you could be like

Johnny hey you're shooting a new jackass, your boy Asa. And you'd be like, oh, yeah, come down. Like the way we'll call Mr. Beast. Yeah. Me and Johnny aren't that tight. But couldn't you figure it out? Couldn't you be like, hey, agent.

What's your degrees of separation from Johnny Knoxville? It's like how many his people versus your people does can you can does it take i don't know i did meet him at a event years and years and years ago okay you got an in but it's not an in it's like we shook hands and that was about it sure what's like what's like the craziest contact in your phone where it's just like even you look at it you're like that's kind of crazy you can't tell us that really you can't. It's the queen. He's like, you still up? I've got it down as queenie.

He's like zipper two. I did get a business card for Bill Nighy. Really? The science guy. Wait, not the other guy? Not the crack rock guy? Not the crack rock guy. Not the crack rock guy. He's on the streets of Chicago.

That's tight. Did you follow up? I didn't. Yeah, I didn't follow up. Did you ghost Bill Nye? Did you have any experiments? Did you have to run? Imagine being in a spot where you ghost Bill Nye. I would do it.

You want to hear the spot I'm in? Okay, the most famous contact in my phone is Mr. Beast. Check this out. Oh, don't do this. Oh, it's sad. You always do this. He always does this. Last time I called, it was disconnected.

He always just calls Mr. Beast. Wait, last time I called, it was disconnected. Oh, no, let it run now. It's so early in the morning. Don't waste this call. This can't be your thing. That's going to be like 2 a.m. Oh, fuck.

It's so early in the morning. No, I did it because last time I called, it was like, bop, bop, bop. The number you have reached has disconnected. Dude, that was pretty good. So I thought he was going to do that. Is that his voice? But no. Was that the...

He believed it. It was Mr. Beast saying that, and he's like, ah, shit. Ah, shit. But that's... I think either someone got that number, or that was Mr. Beast, and I fucked up. Wow. Again. Yeah. You probably woke that poor man up. It. Beast and I fucked up. Wow. Again. Yeah.

You probably woke that poor man up. It's all right. I'll be fine. He's only slightly busy. What's your days filled with? I know it's like you work a lot and then it's like, but then you have time off a lot. Do you just vibe? Do you just vibe all day?

Yeah, it's pretty great. Like when I'm not working, it's pretty chill. What time are you waking up these days? Actually, like, all right. Like, nine. Oh, you're a healthy individual. He said all right. Like, normally it's seven on a work day, and nine's like, I'm lazy today.

I'm sleeping in. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, you're right. When I'm working, it's like you're up early, and you're in a bubble, and that that's like your life for two months three months when you're not what to do i just like play games and be friends do you love are you living the dream would you say you are i'm living my dream i i did want to ask you a question about this actually uh because you have been acting for so long and you started started started when you were pretty young, how do you...

When you start that young with something and you're still doing it now, how do you know that that is your passion or the thing you want to do? Did you just happen to fall into it and it's worked out this whole time? Have you ever wanted to go off and pursue something else? How do you know that this is my life's my life's passion what i'm going to stick with um i didn't for a while like when i started acting yeah i didn't like intend to be an actor growing up um i i didn't go to like drama school i didn't kind of really do any of that i mostly learned on the job um it wasn't until i got older and I was like 14-ish, 13, 14,

and I was still working. And I think it was when I did Hugo that I really kind of, I guess, understood what acting was. Up until then, I just – when you're a kid and you're acting, you're just kind of winging it. You're saying in The Boy in the Straight Pajamas, you're winging it. Kind of, yeah.

I mean, I was like 10 years old an oscar-winning movie you're like i don't know i guess i got pajamas you just you just have it's like make-believe when you're a kid you're just like making shit up yeah and you when you're older you kind of have all of these like things you get embarrassed about when you're that age you don't really give a shit yeah you can kind of that's interesting i've never really thought about like wild uh as you get older you're like propensity you don't really give a shit. That's interesting. I've never really thought about as you get older, your propensity to be embarrassed is just so much higher. That's not true.

You're fucking lying. Here's why. Hold on. My friend has your experience. He wants to talk. I did a Christmas play, and I was a candy flute. No, this really happened. I believe that.

I was a candy flute, and it was the Nutcracker. It was a Christmas play. I, at the time, was grounded because I put salmon in my pocket. Wait, hold on, hold on, hold on. Hold on, hold on. You got grounded by your parents because you had salmon in your pocket. I can't just tell a story like the fish. And then I also had a shot collar on

and my friends let a bear into the room. What was it? You just had fish in your pocket and your parents said this is groundable. I deal with it every day.

He just can't fucking let me be. Let him be me. I can't believe it. He's not on your side. Listen to me. So I got fucking grounded because I hated eating fish

and my mom ate salmon for dinner. And so I fucking So you put it in your pocket. I put it in my my mom made salmon for dinner. So you put it in your pocket? I put it in my pocket when she wasn't looking. I took a filet of salmon and just put it in my pants pocket. You know these corduroy suits

and my favorite pair of pants? I put it in there and just forgot about it. So that night actually she does laundry. I'm like 10. How do you forget about a fillet? I'm like in my room.

She's like, what the fuck is this? And she comes down and she's screaming at me. I'm like, oh, no. Oh, that's my pocket fish. I was like, you got me. Like, I hate fish. Grounded me for a week. But that's the point.

My play, she said she said like the play isn't something i desperately wanted to do but she was like you're going this is school okay i don't give a shit i'm gonna drive you're gonna do your play but you're still grounded and i'm like okay that's fine it's actually really fun but they made me a candy flute so we had like 13 of us we were candy flutes but they made the costume I was the last one to get a costume. Here's all of them. Here's how tall they are. Here's mine.

Do you understand the problem there? Black sheep. I was the fucking tiny candy flute. I was pissed. I tell the teacher, why is mine smaller than everyone else's? You know what she said? It's a magic one.

Wow. Yeah. Did that sell you? Did you think I believed her? Fuck no. Of course not. Pocket Salmon Boy doesn't believe it. I went out there. He's like, this is ridiculous.

He's like taking bits of salmon out of his pocket and popping them. Like tots in Napoleon Dynamite. He's just got chunks of salmon. I went out there. I was a candy flute. And I was fucking. Wait, what is a candy flute? This is like an American thing.

I'm just accepting this. I don't know. I don't know what the fuck it is either. In the Nutcracker, it's like you're a... Maybe it's like candy... It was like a candy cane flute. Like the musical instrument? It's part of the lore?

Yeah, yeah. It's like a flute made of candy, but it was really just a cardboard cylinder that was painted that the kids got into. Look, Tchaikovsky was fucking high when he wrote that shit. He was. You were in some outfit. I was letting his vision come to life.

Have you seen The Nutcracker? I actually have. Yeah. When I was a kid. It was like the Sugar Plum Fairy and people run into her skirt and then they run out. Really?

It's a whole thing, dude. A lot of it's why. I've watched it every year for 14 years straight. Why? Because my sister was in ballet. Gay Hawn. Oh, I thought you meant

that makes way more sense. Was there a crossover with you watching that every year for 14 years straight and shaving your ass? Was it once? No, there was not. And don't need to bring that up.

And I do remember one year I watched, I was like, what a short fucking candy flute. What a cringe idiot. If you watch my play, you would have been blown away by my skills and then disgusted that they put me in the short one. Okay. So what I'm saying is Asa lied because I was embarrassed. It wasn't make believe. I didn't believe it was magic.

And that's why I didn't pursue acting. That's why I'm not in your chair. You could have been bald. Are you still embarrassed about it? You seem embarrassed about it, man. Yeah. You still seem pretty. You seem hung up.

I'm not embarrassed, but I literally think about it and I still get kind of mad. Is this just like a therapy session for you guys? Is this basically what this podcast ends in? I still get kind of mad. That's all I'm saying. And then one celebrity, he will say something out of pocket about. I've never said any.

No. We've been fine. No, no, no. Not him. Just a celebrity, you will say something out of pocket about. We've been fine. Yeah.

Jesse Eisenberg. Oh, about. Psych Kuno. I do think that I could take Justin Long. Have you met Justin Long? No. Have you fought Justin Long? Maybe you didn't meet. Yeah yeah i fought and then met you in that order uh anyway you're living the dream you're big

chilling now uh day to day i think we touched a bit of it but day in the life walk me through you wake up at nine then what gaming I try not to do that immediately. Bangers and mash. The last few weeks, wake up, feed my cats. I got two cats. Types, names.

They're called Atlas and Lyra. Are they COVID cats? No, I got them just before COVID. One of our very good friends' last name is Lyra oh my are they COVID cats or no I got them just before COVID one of our very good friends' last name is Lyra oh yeah that's right

he's your cat he's our cat our friend is your cat he's also Australian so you have an Australian cat he dozzles and loves giving raspberries the whole thing

we'll keep going though feed your cats feed my cats I don't know like play some games try and meet up with some people. Maybe go for a bike ride.

Stay fit. Be social. Exactly. Like, life. You're on your mindset. Do you have to, like, do work stuff? Do you have to be like, oh, I have to field this call? Or is that all taken care of until you have to show up to work?

No. I have, like, either, like, meetings with directors or scripts to read. Yeah. Or just calls for, like for projects I'm doing. Not that regularly because film industry moves so slow. You'll have a call and then you won't hear anything for a month and then you might have another meeting. Is it still happening?

Yeah, there have been so many times. I've had a project which has been supposed to be made for four years now and every time they say this is going to happen it doesn't happen. And that's kind of normal. Yeah. That makes sense. I think it's similar in

like streaming YouTube gaming world is people like bring up like oh we're going to do this and then like it never fucking happens ever. They always over promise and then over hype the timeline and then it's like oh wait it's a lot of money and a lot of time and a lot of effort

and we can't make it happen. But that's just other streamers being the bears. Even esports orgs, you know, I think make a lot of promises. I mean, even in Smash, there's 300 different what do you call them? What are the things that get canceled every other week? Oh, Smashers. Ha ha!

You said, you said, you... Woo! Welcome back. I saw the Matrix when he started asking the question i saw the matrix in front of me so would you say that like most of your improvement as an actor comes on the job or do you think you spend a lot of time like outside of specifically acting in movies like thinking about it working on it things like that not a amount. I wasn't like classically trained. Sure. So I wouldn't say I'm, I don't practice acting in the kind of traditional theater school sense. I'd say I learned most of my stuff,

yeah, either on the job or even just like watching movies. Yeah. And watching what people do. Probably watch movies. And like talking to people. You probably watch in like a much different way

than like I would watch a movie. Yeah. I watch them in a very technical way. Like when I watch a movie yeah I watch them in a very technical way like when I watch a film I'm always like thinking about oh how did they do that angle or

oh there's like a that VFX was looked a bit weird or whatever talk about yeah yeah just like

you can't being a nerd about it yeah but yeah basically and once you've seen the other side you can't kind of ignore it

which sometimes is annoying because you can't just like get involved with the movie until you start thinking about it. I'm the same. I watch Moist Critical and I'm like,

what's the angle he's spinning? What's the title and how does that relate to what he's saying? How does he make this beauty happen in front of you? No, I think that's, people say that a lot

because I do this thing where I analyze jokes because I'm a psychopath and I like to break things down, but I have reconciled in my brain that breaking something down and enjoying it are two like isolated experiences. Like, doesn't it ruin everything if you just know how it works? And it's like, no, because they're both fun. I've got a joke for you.

Please. What do you call a man with no shins? Shinless. shinless man. Tony. Tony? What? I don't get it. Because it goes to toe to knee. Come on, guys.

Wait, did you say that because that's a form of my name? No. You could have said yes. I could have said yes. I'm an honest guy. I appreciate the honesty. He could have said yes I could have said yes I'm an honest guy I appreciate the honesty Yeah Yeah that was

He could have said yes And then kicked you In your shins right now That would have been A great song Lift me down You guess it right And he's like yep

That's a great bit Have you ever told That joke to anyone And had them just Fucking erupt They're just like You're the man No but I find it hilarious

That was Jason Momoa Golden Globes 30 minutes He's almost throwing up He just couldn't stop Yeah repped they're just like they're like you're the man no but i find it hilarious that was jason mmo golden globes 30 minutes he's almost throwing up he just couldn't stop yeah do you so i imagine when you decide now like if you want to work on a project you get the final sign off on like whether or not you want to do it like that i would guess yeah yeah yeah when but when you start when you're a kid and you're getting these roles as like a younger person who is making that decision for you like does that come like pretty early or like when did the change happen like this is like i don't know my guardian my agent making that decision versus you making the decision like how does that happen i mean at the end of the day it's always kind of my choice even when i was a kid yeah but when you're that age kind of rely on

either my agent or my mom to kind of guide me in my choices. Yeah. Because as a 10-year-old, you don't know what's good for you. You're dumb as bricks. Exactly. You're 10. Yeah. I mean, I imagine, has your mom always been like pretty supportive, I would imagine, considering?

Yeah. Yeah, no, she has. Is she lovely? He meant that in a much sweeter way. That is the British way to ask if your mom's hot. What the fuck? I'm just asking a normal-ass question. Is she fit?

Yeah, but what is he going to say? Oh, no, she's a garbage can. Have a little respect. Maybe his relationship with his mom fucking sucks. To be clear, I don't know. I don't care. I don't care. I'm translating for you.

Oh, you don't care about his mom if she's lovely or not? No, I don't care. You don't give a shit about his parents if she probably loves him or not? I don't care if she's lovely. I'm sure for you. Oh, you don't care about his mom if she's lovely or not? You don't give a shit about his parents if she probably loves his mom. I don't care if she's lovely. I'm sure she is. Oh, so now you're sure. So you're just going to infer. You're not going to let him tell you

whether or not she's lovely. Whether or not she sucks. So did your mom suck? She's a real piece of fucking work. I can suck the ass. She fucking sucks, dude. No, my mom's sick yeah is there any role

that you've had that like even now you watch back and you're just like oh it's like hard to watch yes do you have a specific role I mean pretty much

all my roles I hate watching really we're actually the same is there one that's like above the rest like fuck I wish I didn't do that yes which one is that

are you allowed can you say it I don't know if I can say this. There's a few. Wait, can you say it? There's a few jokes. Can you say it and then we'll censor it?

Hold on. He doesn't trust us. Yeah. Wait. Let's just talk about that. I've been told that before. All right. What if you just.

What if you just. Yeah, basically. When I get it. Ender's game. Boy. Think about this. Think about this. What if you listed the roles from your favorite to least favorite?

Let's cut the bullshit. Which director sucked? Yeah. Go say it easy. I'm fucking with you guys. Were you ever approached to do a Disney Channel original movie? No. No?

They didn't exist. Because you're a child actor. What? They've been around for a while. No. What? They didn't exist? What are you saying?

He would have been on the tail end. What are you talking about? They didn't exist, man. What? You've been around for a while. No. What? They didn't exist? What are you saying? He would have been on the tail end. What are you talking about? They didn't exist, man. What? You keep saying this. You keep saying this. You're acting like he was born in 2011, which they still exist. He was born in 97.

No. April 1st. Me and Anthony. In London. Whereabouts? Oh, dude, it's like Izzelbit. No, it's in... Izzelbit?

It's in Yorkshire I was actually born down the road from here Really Homerton Homerton Hospital What the fuck did you just call me That's not chill in America That's

Is that weird Having lived here your whole life What do you mean no You're in such a small radius Like Um No I mean London's huge And like there's so much to do So Not really And I've travelled a lot By an umbrella You're in such a small radius. Like, um, no, I mean, London's huge.

And like, there's so much to do. So, not really. And I've traveled a lot. Buy an umbrella. Use it. That's about it.

That's what you're saying is the only thing to do here. That's what you think the London experience is. that's about it. You just came back from a water park. It's in Coventry. It was lovely.

Alright, that's fair. There was just this whole thing we had about being respectful to culture. And then you say the only thing you can do here is buy an umbrella. Well, you know why? I'm French. You can also eat beans. That's right.

You're so rude. Have you guys had beans on toast yet? Yeah, yeah. This morning, we had beans and toast. And I said, I'm going to do it. And I put the beans on the toast. Okay. Can I send you a picture?

Can I give you a little tip? Absolutely. I'm looking for If you want to like get really upgrade your beans and toast. Some people don't fuck with this but spread a bit of mayonnaise on your toast beforehand. We all thought you were cool. That's how they first made

white people laugh. They accidentally mixed all three. I popped out and was like hey. Like the powerpuff intro. white people in the lab. They accidentally mixed all three. And then Guy pops out and he's like, hey. Like the Powerpuff intro. That's like, I mean,

chemical X. That looks nice. There's no toast there. Well, the toast is on the side. It was sourdough. They brought it away. We went to English breakfast, right? Yeah.

It was nice. We had a nice traditional English breakfast. Coffee. The rest of it. I hung out with, I mean, I guess a bunch of British people yesterday. I was like, what's a traditional British meal?

I forget what he called it. He called it broke munch. I was like, what? What you do is... I was like, is it like Candice? No, no, no. You take a ketchup bottle that's about empty. You put a little water in it.

What? So it gets a little more. And then you just spray it on some old chips. And then you just eat it with the fork. They were fucking with you. This is like Drop Bears. Yeah, this is exactly what I was thinking. Have you heard of Drop Bears?

This is like when Spud and Sora were like, let me tell you about the Kanga Ogre. It's Chupacabra. Give them a lowdown of the Australian Drop Bears. it's chupacabra give him a lowdown of the australian drop drop bears are like this australian like australian myth to like scare tourists where it's like a it's sort of like a tiny bear that's almost like a like a chipmunk or a squirrel that's like really aggressive and like hides in trees and will drop down and like attack you and every australian is in on the bit so when you visit and you go like in my first visit i went to perth and we went on a on a bushwalk so we were out and everybody was

like yeah watch out for drop bears like this is like they'll kind of fuck your shit up the hand yeah it's the walmart and uh and it just an entirely made-up thing that the entire country is just in on. I love that for them. Yeah. It's like haggis. Is haggis not real? Wait, what? Like the haggis, the little creature.

Oh, I thought you were talking about the meal. Yeah, I thought you were talking about the food. I'm like, I thought that was real. Yeah, no, it is real. We've never eaten it. We just keep telling people. Wait, what is haggis the creature? No, so there's this whole thing, and I don't know if it's Scottish or British, but you'll convince them that haggis the creature? No, so there's this whole thing,

and I don't know if it's Scottish or British, but you'll convince them that haggis is a thing. It's like if you Google haggis, it comes up with this little guinea pig-like creature. Obviously, it isn't fucking real. If you told me about this when I met you, I would just have believed you. I'd be like, oh, haggis?

Yeah, that sounds like a pretty animal. Sounds like something you'd shoot like a quail and put in a little tortilla. Do you know what the biggest predator, the biggest meat-eating creature is in the UK? Humans. Oh, Scott, don't do it. Come on, man. But it's lions.

There are no lions. Correct. What? No, I'm fucking with you. God damn it. Do you guys have animals? We have animals. fucking with you. Goddamn it. Do you guys have animals? No, it's not that exciting. We have animals.

There's a badger. Oh. That's how, that's how, like, badgers are fucking hard. That's how tiny shit is. Unwild, this place. Badgers are dangerous. Yeah, badgers will fuck you up, bro.

I mostly know this from Super Auto Beds. Oh, wow. They're fire, dude. Eat shit, bro. Honey badger. Honey badger. That will fuck you up. No.

But I know, I, I, I, like, loved animals when I was a kid. I was, like, a real, dude. Eat shit, bro. Honey badger. Honey badger. That will fuck you up. I know. I loved animals when I was a kid. I was like a real like... He's like, no, I'm not a fucking weird nerd like you. Well, it's because if you put a honey on the badger, it's really... There are two women trying to get into this bar. They're going to discover that it's not open. Yeah, they're going to love that. And we're good.

Sounds about right. It opens at 3. It opens at 3, yeah. Oh, okay. We're good. Hi. Hi. Yeah. So, I have a question. Oh, okay. We're good. Hi. Hi, yeah.

So, I have a question. You ever fuck with MMOs? I have a little bit. That was such a sad tone. It is a sad tone. I was, like, depressed. That was a good answer, because it meant that he hasn't gone down

the disgusting, like, horrible black hole. Or he has, and regrets it. I played WoW when it first came out, when you had, like, four discs to install on PC and the whole thing was like that big. My buddy stole the burning crew.

Like, he was a crook, dude. We asked him to steal stuff from Walmart all the time. It's like Tesco here. It's also not. Like,

that's the thing. It's not Tesco. It is similar enough. It's not. I do know what Walmart is. You also know what it is, which is funny because I'm just treating him like he's a child. But yeah.

Who hasn't been to America. We'd be like, hey, Wyatt, bro, can you go and get it? And he went and got Burning Crusade five discs and just cracked the box open and put them in his pocket. Stole it? And then he stole it from me. And that's how I played Burning Crusade. Wow.

What a good friend. I do remember what you're talking about. That's a good friend. Yeah, he was a crazy crook. I stole gummies from like regular gummies from Walmart. Oh. So you a good friend. Yeah, he was a crazy crook. I stole gummies from, like, regular gummies from Walmart. Oh, so you're a crook too. I'm a crook too. We're the same, me and your friend Wyatt.

That's right. Anyway, sorry. Any other thieves? You never got crazy in MMOs. You didn't go down the black hole. No, no, I didn't. That's why he's the way he is. When I was in the sixth grade, I got bullied for not playing WoW.

Because, okay, don't start that again. The heckler in the sixth grade. I got bullied for not playing WoW. Because, okay, don't start that again. The heckler in the crowd. I went to the bathroom, and then Jake and Pat went to the bathroom, and they were talking about WoW. And then I had just, in passing, said something about RuneScape because it was free to play. And they just fucking laughed at me. Like, you know, WoW?

I was like, no, I can't get the membership. And they just laughed. And they walked away. wow like no i can't get the membership and they just laughed and they walked away i straight up did you have a runescape membership though no no no my mom was expressly against it i not until i i put it on like a christmas wish list and i printed it out and i posted a picture of uh it was the mmo called dofus and i was like dofus membership and it was six bucks And that's all I wanted for Christmas. And she got it for me. I was like, fuck yeah. And then the next month, I was like, I got to wait 11 months for a new membership.

You only got one month? Yeah. And that's so funny. Yeah, I got boomed. And you said I shouldn't. No, your mom. My mom's great. But she just didn't support me eating McDonald's or playing video games. You know the fucked up one?

It's called Tibia. That's a bone. I got there. Tibia was like this free-to-play MMO that like, it was just, it was like a browser game, but that's what you played if you didn't know about RuneScape. So there's levels of sewer. Alright, let's get to it. Boris Johnson

in or out. You couldn't even get through it, bro. Why is that so funny to you? Because it's just like, it's like such a political question to be like asking an actor in America like who they vote for. It's just such a...

Okay, sure. Yeah. So Boris Johnson in or out. Yeah, fuck Boris. Hey! I don't know much. I just pretty much know he's like, your guy's is Trump,

but he's like more... He's a fucking clown. He's a bit of a clown. He threw a lot of parties during COVID and lied while making everyone sit under lockdown. You've seen all the videos of him rugby tackling kids in a football game? No. Wait, I would like him if I saw that. Hold on.

Do I like this guy now? This guy sounds swag. This is before he ascended to whatever. And it's like he was known for being a clown. He was the mayor of London. And he just fucking did stupid shit. And people kind of let him get away with it because he was like, oh, he's kind of funny. He's like fanning around.

And now he's our prime minister. It sounds like you had Steve-O as a mayor. This is my perspective on him getting elected as prime minister. Wait, is that the video? Can you spin it? Can you give us a few seconds of it? Can we see him tackling the kids? I would just like a few seconds of it just to see him tackle some kids.

It almost feels like he wanted to do like a how many seven-year-olds could I beat up in a fight challenge. Yeah, but he made it real. And he made it real. Which we've all wanted to do. How many kids can I beat, the mayor of London? It's a big boy like this. It's all right. How many kids can I beat?

He's got a good voice. Is it not loading? All right, we're getting involved. We're getting involved. We're watching this. We're watching. He's just... Dude, he murdered that guy.

It's so fucking funny He fucking laid him Dude he put his shoulder into it He wanted to hurt the kid So why is he not the greatest Prime Minister that's ever kissed And then he shakes his hand Oh my god

I can't believe he shook his hand Well done Good game bro And that's not the first time he did it He did like this charity football game And he did the same thing Wasn't to a kid But it's a habit

Can I say I think that's cool I think that's the coolest thing he's ever done. This sucks, right? Because if the roles were reversed and we're telling a bunch of British people that Trump did a really funny Ghostbusters review once, and they're like, oh, well, I mean, he's a Ghostbuster. It's funny. I listen to the Daily.

I know about BJ. He blows. But that's the best thing I've ever seen. Really? You're going to say that? You're going to say I know about BJ. He blows. I know about BJ, he blows? I know about BJ.

That's crazy. I threw it out there. I just call him BJ. Do you listen to The Daily? Of course not. Okay. He doesn't listen to podcasts. This context won't hit you very hard

but I want to get Ludwig's take on my impression. Of Michael Babara? Yeah. Of this news show and the guy talks- The largest news podcast in the world. He just basically summarizes whatever the guest is saying like a fucking child. Michael, if you watch The Yard, just talk like a normal guy.

Okay. Just talk normally. Let me do it. So you're saying that the Biden administration, they're putting gummy bears in Putin's asshole. And that the gummy bears are going to be a problem for Ukraine. And then be like, yeah, that's exactly right, Michael. That's what I said. This is a perfect impression.

This is good? But also, I think it's good that he does this. No, I don't fucking think it's good that he does that. No, the person, that's the problem. The person will say all of that, and then Michael repeats it back word for word in a question. They can just half the time of the show. Occasionally, he challenges them in that rephrasing,

so he'll rephrasing. So he'll rephrase it in a way that's like a broader stroke. Because they'll use very specific words. And he'll be like, so you're saying that Ukraine sucks. He'll phrase it like that. And they'll be like, well, not exactly, Michael. I think it's something about the cadence. I think it's something about the cadence.

Because the show is great. I'll feel informed. But it's something about the cadence. I'm talking back to Boris Johnson. I need to get that out so bad. Have you seen a single episode of our show? I've watched bits. I love that. I've watched bits. How'd you before we reached out?

No. Okay. Yeah, that's fair. Can I ask a question? Why did you do this? Why did I do this? Yeah. You've got nothing better to do. Yeah, fair enough. That's a great answer. If you've got a L'Oreal commercial, you're like, busy, fellas.

I'm busy. I've got to advertise the one for the kids that has a little fish bottle. No tears. No tears. Well, that's great. I'm glad that you had nothing better to do. What did you think?

What did you think when you watched some clips? You're like, this is fine. I just look like a group of guys just chatting shit, which is kind of like what I do most of the time. The American dream. Alright, walk me through games you're playing right now. Gamer check. Dota, but I've

kind of always played Dota. Dota 2? Did you play Warcraft 3? I did. Not Dota, but I did play Warcraft 3. I didn't play All-Stars. Zip in the background, like shocking. Dota! Who's your who's your like

a little Dota talk real quick real quick Go on Who did you I don't know who do you play Shadowfiend mid

You support The only person I play What are you trying What does that mean I'm just saying you're very supportive Are you saying he looks weak

Yeah you look like a beta male Let's get past that You think I can't carry I think you can carry I don't play carry I play mid I play mag mid a male. Let's get past that. You think I can't carry? I think you can carry. I don't play carry. I play mid.

I play mag mid or off mainly. Well, I play like sort of initiators and kind of. You go for the big plays. I go for the big plays. You go for the high reel. I go for the big plays. 12 minutes. Yeah, exactly. That's me.

Rank check. I don't play ranked. Neither does Zipper. I had this conversation with him. I don't like solo queue. That's fair. That just sounds depressing. You should play with friends. I play with friends.

I've got quite a few people I play with, which is nice. I think that's actually the most healthy thing you could do. Because, you know Valorant? I play a bit of that. I do the same. I only play with friends. And he... Oh, dude.

Both solo queue. And I only know this because i hear what are you doing there what do you mean slamming the table at like 3 a.m and it's absurd and it's bad for your health so i stopped solo queuing and uh you had to quit like cigarettes yeah i now i just five anxiety it's why i started playing starCraft, was because I would just get so... Yeah. I'd feel like shit playing a game. I'd be so stressed.

Yeah. I was like, this isn't good for me. Wait, which StarCraft did you play? Two. Yeah, perfect. I guess it's like either StarCraft, you're still fucking sick. I wasn't very good.

I played Zerg. How did you know? I'm just on. I'm just on right now. You are on. You also just have a 30% chance of getting that correct. That one's easy. Claiming he plays support,

that's a 1 in 5. You're also wrong. No, he said he plays support. I thought he said mid. I play a bit of both. Mid, I play 2 or 3 or 4. He gave it to you. Which, one of those roles is a support. I also had a Dota question, or a Dota-related question

because that was my understanding of your perspective on competitive gaming. You play Smash and you play Dota. Because we've seen you, like you know Blitz, right? And I think you've hung out with Blitz and the Liquid guys. If you had to pick one, like if you had to stick with one competitive game for the rest of your life, I imagine it's between those two, what would you play?

As in, well, Dota I don't, obviously Smash I've competed in, but Dota I'm not nearly good enough to play competitively. I guess if you had to leave one behind and only play one forever. For the rest of my life? Yeah. From here on out. Oh. It's Smash. No, you know why it's not Smash? Because Dota one forever. For the rest of my life? Yeah. From here on out. Oh. It's Smash.

No, you know why it's not Smash? Because Dota's forever. You know why it's not Smash? Because he's an ultimate player so the fucking moment they come out with a new game you throw away ultimate

to the side and you go, I don't want to play with you anymore like Andy from Toy Story. Yeah. I feel like Dota is, there's a special place

in my heart for Dota and if I said anything other than that I'd be lying it doesn't leave your mind you hear that that's your sign player dude they have a Dota team that's

arguably more what he is on the side of he hangs out with the liquid Dota coach I think you're dumb as fuck too by the way Jesus Christ so you like smoking weed or meth Dota I will say it gets in your bones Don't throw that in there. Anyway. Jesus Christ. So you like smoking weed or meth? Dota, I will say, it gets in your bones. I've played it since the beta came out.

I played it in Warcraft 3, and you're just like, I haven't played probably in two years, but I'm like, I could play it again. Like, it's never going to go away. I do feel, however, I'm like, damn, those thousands of hours. What if I did something else? What if I... Do you? Yeah,

I do. I lost 12 games. I've told this on the podcast before. The lowest gaming moment I ever had it was 12 games straight all day playing of Kunkka Mid because I watched Sing Sing a lot and I wanted to be cool. Lost every single one for 12 in a row and I was like,

this is the worst it's ever going to be for my life. It was my worst gaming moment in my life. Maybe your worst life moment. Maybe. You get a redo. What is Sing Sing doing? He's not playing Dota. I don't know. I remember I played more than once. Yeah. I haven't followed. I miss him and Yappas.

I remember his team. About nine. He was on MAUS, I think, way early. Yeah. Those are good times people hopping around teams on throw like crazy so I'm 1200 hour do over what do you do

what do you learn right now what do you have instead like 4000 hours what what skill do you have with those hours what do you pour it into uh

I don't know guitar do you play an instrument yeah I play an instrument but I'm you know I wish I spent more time. You're not like me yet, Asa.

You're not bold. Bold? Yeah. You got time. Yeah. You'll find out soon enough what you want to do with your life. Because if he shaved his head, he would make that work. I can tell.

I've shaved my head before. Yeah. To the bone? I think I've seen you with a shaved head. It was like a.5. That's tight. So technically, no. How'd you feel? Pretty sick. It was like a.5. That's tight. So technically, no. How'd you feel?

Pretty sick. It felt like fucking hard as nails. Really? Yeah. Do you have a good head? Apparently, I do. Mine's bad because I have weird bumps. You don't know until you shave it.

And I also have a rash on the back of my head where I got born. Oh, yeah? What? Where I got born. When I popped out, I think. Where I got born. The doctor scraped What? Where I got born. Like, when I popped out, I think. Where I got born. The doctor scraped it or something. I don't know.

Where you hatched from. Still? That's like 20-something. Yeah, it's just like a birthmark, I think, for life. It's just like a little red. Yeah? Yeah, don't laugh at my birth defects. Big question.

You can only answer. You don't have to. But he speaks French. We all hate it in the house. Do you have any feelings about the French as a Londoner? Do I have any feelings about the

French? Like strong ones? Would you make one blanket statement about every French person? Would you make love to a French person? Gun to head. Which question am I not answering here? No, go ahead pick your favorite I don't mind

yeah the French are cool I've got some French friends it's so cool man the beef's a bit I feel like it's cap I feel like it's an older person the beef's cap yeah French vs English

Paris I'd say is overrated sure everyone I've ever met who has been there said it was overrated it's also the largest tourist destination in the world

and I don't think it should be but I called my mom and I told her I was going to London and she was like, watch out. She said that. She was like,

they don't like French people and I'm like, first of all, I'm fucking American. I'm not walking around going like, oh, bonjour. I like the idea

of your mom is just like, they can sense it in your blood. Yeah, but Ludwig's not an American name. It's German. Right, and they were

just like, I was saying that Ace is not an English name either. an American name. It's German. Right, and they were just like, I was saying that Asa's not an English name either. What is that? It's Hebrew. Oh, wow. Are you Jewish? I'm not Jewish. I knew an Asa in my school,

in my podunk redneck town. His name was Asa, and then he became the manager of a casino. So you're in good company. The two Asas. There's also a porn star called Asa oh wait Asa Akira you know her

I don't know you say it he's like which one Asa Akira you know how I told you before the podcast I unfollowed Amaranth on Twitter because I just couldn't look it's just too much.

Yeah, it turns public scrolling of Twitter into a fucking landmine. You can't do it. My keep all this time, she was like one of the first hundred people I followed. Asa Akira. You kept? Yeah, she's still on there, dude. Why did you not follow Amaranth? She only tweets like once a month.

It's fine. It's a political discourse. I'm down to hedge. You know what, Kalen? I still follow you. The risk, I'm down to hedge. You know what, Kalen? I still follow you. Porn star Twitters are pretty funny.

Like right now, like Lisa Ann's Twitter, it looks like she's a real estate agent. They do look, yeah. They'll like take a picture and it's like their

like name and stuff and it's just like a billboard lawyer or something. Button up shirt. Which why not, you know? I think that's a good,

we have this lawyer in LA called Sweet James. You know about Sweet James? You didn't talk about Sweet James. I think that's a good, we have this lawyer in LA called sweet James. You know about sweet James? You didn't talk about sweet James. I don't know what the, you can't compare it to anything here. Do you have like, so in LA you drive down the highway,

the highways and there's lawyers that advertise themselves on billboards, usually injury attorneys. And it's sort of considered, there's like a, it's like ambulance chaser. Cause they're always just trying to get a piece of like some sort of settlement. Is there a sort of some sort of settlement. Is there a sort of analog to that in the UK?

Not so much. I know what you're talking about. I've seen those posters on the highways. I don't know if we do. Yeah, it's like a scene. Not so blatantly cash grab. Do you think there's a level of subtlety here that doesn't let that happen?

Or is there like... I guess Boris Johnson is your fucking prime minister, so I don't know. I don't know. I feel like having the NHS probably prevents that market from appearing. What does hockey have to do with any of this? It's not the NHS in America. Like, what do you think it's National Hockey Service? And they serve and everybody has to register you could be drafted at any time i did two tours in boston fucking fucking

get a i get a piece of mail from sydney crosby just like come join the original question did we just forget it well it was the analog to injury lawyers oh no we're trying to talk about sweet james yeah oh sweet james sweet Sweet James is a fucking billboard lawyer. It's so funny because he has radio commercials in LA where he's just like, gotta call Sweet James. Oh my god, that was lovely. That was good.

I've been practicing. Why don't we make a billboard? That's what you should have spent the last 4,000 hours doing. Billboard lawyer parody songs. No, singing. Singing, yeah. Yeah, doing little jingles for Sweet James.

You could be somewhere. Oh, dude, we could. All right, we'll talk after. Why don't we make a billboard that parody songs? No, singing. Singing, yeah. Yeah, doing little jingles for Sweet James. You could be somewhere. Oh, dude, we could... All right, we'll talk after. Why don't we make a billboard that's like... Do you have a jingle for this show? Why don't we make a billboard? Yes, we do.

You do? No worries. Are you guys singing? No, no. It's a piano riff. It's a written piece. Have you seen Trailer Park Boys? Bits of...

Have you seen It's Always Sunny? Bits of... Similar to the intros of both shows. Have you seen Rugrats? Oddly juxtaposed as elegant, and then the crassness comes in. That's the idea.

It is a sweet tune. You have a billboard idea? Let's go back to it. I want to make a billboard with you. It's me and you. We're both in suits. It's in LA. And it says,

did you get sucked off? And then there's a phone number. Did Boris Johnson check your kid? It says, did you get sucked off? And then there's a phone number. No, okay. So it's, did Boris Johnson check your kid? And then it's you and him like this, like looking at the camera. And it's like, call now. Yeah.

You only handle cases for all the children. He's tackling me, and then it's a billboard to throw up right outside London. It's like bidet cleaning service. This guy's on it. Yeah, it's bidet cleaning plus injury attorney like all in one one-stop shop this could be good in your you know whenever you're not on a shoot like kind of in your off season right now you could uh you could just be setting up bidets in people's homes in

los angeles dude you're really selling me this we should make a billboard daily dose had this idea he wanted to have a street of billboards somewhere in America. And he asked like 15 YouTubers. They put in a group chat. It's like Laserbeam and Mr. Beast and Daily Dose of Internet. He's like, everyone, let's do a billboard.

Everyone's like, what the fuck is this idea? They all leave. It dies. But I've been attached to it ever since. Well, Amrit did hers. Do you know who Amrit is? No. I'm going to show you. I'm going to show you a picture real quick.

I know her from the guys, you guys have done stuff with her. Yeah, she's on our show. She's great. She's probably the biggest... Twitch streamer, right? Rinder. Well, not the biggest Twitch streamer, but...

She's the biggest, I think... Female Twitch streamer, probably. Probably, yeah. In terms of hours watched, because she streams about 250 hours a month. She's live so often, yeah. She's a nutcase like that. Do you watch any streamers or YouTubers?

Not really. Most of the streams I watch are for competitive. You're just trying to get cracked at games? Like for tournaments, yeah, basically. Any YouTube channels you follow? Daily Dose. Daily Dose! Daily Dose, fucking quality.

I do. I just need to go through that. But you don't like watch them that regularly that you would outside of Daily? Daily's on the Daily. Tiazoo. Oh. He's pretty sick. Pretty good shout out there.

I like Tiazoo. He's a sick YouTuber. He is. He's smart. I mean, there's more. You seem like you would be a Summoning Salt fan. I do like Summoning Salt. He had a new video, actually.

I haven't seen it. Yeah, he did Punch Out. Yeah. It hit my inbox, and I was like, I don't know the game, but I'll still watch it because I like you, but I wish you did a game I knew. He's got a great intro. Yeah.

That tune. Uh-huh. Home, we're finally landing. Yeah. Virtual? Virtual. Dude, I know your exact YouTube type. Yeah, you can probably pinpoint what's on my feed. Because it's very I know your exact YouTube type. Yeah, you can probably like pinpoint what's on my feed.

Because it's very similar in what your YouTube type is. It's perfect React content. Like, you watch any of these guys on stream and chat's just loving every second of it. But yeah, they're all goaded documentarists. I'm trying to think of other people in that same field, but I think that's it. Shockingly, several of those people are in a secret online poker group. Really?

Do you know about this? No. There's an online poker group. TierZoo's a part of it. You're just leaking? It's not like... You can't get into it. Yeah, it's fine.

Is it high stakes? 5, 10, 20? It is somewhat high stakes. It's like a couple hundred dollar buy-in. I played one day. Worst experience of my life. They hop on a Discord call. They play on this app, which is kind of weird.

You have to swipe up to fold, shake to call. It's weirdly interactive. Poker for the Wii. It's like a Wii game. They don't know about poker now. And I'm in it. Texas switching. Yeah.

And it's me. It's Mr. Beast. It's TierZ it. Texas switching. Yeah. And it's me. It's Mr. Beast. It's TierZoo. It's the CEO of Carrot. Okay. It's like this one guy who runs it. And we're playing. And there's a couple other YouTubers in there as well.

And Mr. Beast went in 15 hands in a row. All in. Holy shit. He's Duke Vitro, dude. That's so annoying. Yeah. And I am like, you know, I ran an online poker's Duke Vitro, dude. That's so annoying. Yeah, and I am like, you know,

I ran an online poker ring for a while, allegedly. Okay, I know a little bit. So I'm waiting for some primos. You know, I get my ace kings and I get it in and I beat him. And he just instantly

buys in for like a thousand. Yeah, he's got infinite money. All in again. He can just kind of do that forever. And so it's like the whole entire day I'm there, I'm like playing. And eventually I get an all-in again. I have another great hand.

It's like something like Jax. And he's like 6'3". And he just gets us straight. And I'm like, this isn't fun anymore. Because this is just anxiety for me. And all he's doing while he's playing is on the Discord going, like maniacally laughing at me. While just maybe robbing someone

with like five percent chance of winning yeah and it's and this is his pleasure that's and i never played again they owe me five hundred dollars because i ended up winning but i never cashed it in because i never wanted to go back in because i didn't want to get sucked back into the hellhole but anyway tears who's in that he's sucked in that he's sucked in that demon monster his tears you dog at poker or what? No, he's really good because he's a fucking nerd. Yeah. Right?

That makes sense. He's like, you know John Boy actually? John Boy's in there? No, no. I'm just saying, I said that because TierZoo's inspired by him in a way.

Are you a gambler, Asa? I play poker. I'm not good at it, but I can play it. But you've played it. Yeah, okay. But you don't have this hole in your heart. I've not got a gambling addiction, if that's what you're trying to get at.

Are there casinos in London? There's a bunch. We've gone. We went in Stoke. That was like 200 quid. They had single zero roulette there, right? Yeah. I think possibly the first time I went to a casino was after the ESL Birmingham Dota Major.

They had the after party at a casino. Oh, that's crazy. Dangerous. That was dangerous. That's dangerous. Because you're all getting drunk. It was a heavy night for everyone. Right.

Yeah. It's a little degenerate here because I went to a gas station and it's kind of like Vegas and they just had slots. Yeah. Here. I don't want to shout out the name.

We can beep it because no free promos, but it's called Ladbroke and that's very funny because it's like a gambling little hall but it was like a company and there's like these weird like horse machines and i'm like oh yeah horse bangs huge yeah what the fuck what is it it's horse betting oh i thought he said horse bang and i'm like i heard horse back too mr hands horse sounds like an energy drink that just fucks you up.

Horse bang. We made it for horses, but now we sell it to you. It's the version of bang they give to the horse. It's just ketamine. It's a huge bottle. It has a sippy tip.

There's a little horse cum in it. And they're like, we swear it's a thing. It's the worm in the tiki. Yeah, it's, because I went to Coventry to do the YouTube video. Your water park. To go to my water park with Tommy in it and other British YouTubers.

Did you get wet? I did get wet. Yeah, I got wet with Jacksepticeye, and there's another guy who I'm forgetting, who I feel bad that I'm forgetting. Other famous British YouTubers. Are they a big deal here? Do they matter in the grand scheme of British culture I mean yeah

I suppose like like especially in like the new generation of like online entertainment yeah I throw names at you and you tell me if you know them yeah tubbo uh yeah I heard him jack manifold I feel like I've heard of him I was hoping he would say no I I was like, I feel like I heard of him as diet. No. Yeah. Just soft. No, he was, he was fucking with me the whole time too.

Yeah. He seems like a guy who said the plan is simple in front of me 15 times. And then, yeah, you earned it. He played count what you have now, which is a song I play a lot on stream on the speakers and the whole water park.

Wow. Saying the entire five minutes. You're just getting bullied by like, what is he? 17 yeah and i kept saying to you i kept saying dude when you turn 18 i want to fight and he'd be like why and then we go to wagamamas and it's him and this guy named bill and they keep fucking with me some more they're like oh you have to order the power up i'm like what he's like it's a drink on it it's like like, oh, you have to. It's British classic. I look over to other jacks up guys like. This is what you do to me

in the Starbucks drive-thru when you say get the works. Yeah, but it's like there's two of them. They're peppering me. It's like, oh, California cauliflower bang bang. Got to get one of those.

The boiled charcuterie. You need to try it. And then and then he's like, he's like, yeah, it's good for your bones. I'm like, that's not how cauliflower works. And I'm like, how good is it? Let's arm wrestle. And he's like, yeah, it's good for your bones. I'm like, that's not how cauliflower works. And I'm like, how good is it?

Let's arm wrestle. And he's like, this guy arm wrestles. Oh, you're getting so owned. I know. I got owned by two 17-year-olds who dropped out of college illegally for fucking three hours yesterday. Wow. Illegally? High school.

Yeah, you can't drop out of college, I think. Did you finish high school? We call it college here. Like college, there's like a whole, Americans get confused whenever I say like, I was at college because you guys think that's university. Yeah. College here is like two years you take after school, but you finish it when you're 18,

but it's in a different place. It's not high school. You did secondary then college? Yeah. You didn't do any apprenticeship? Did you finish it all? Was it? Yeah, I graduated.

Is that the one you take your A-levels in? Hey, let's go. You take your A-levels to go to college. You take your A-levels to get into university. Okay, never mind that. You were acting while in school. Did that influence school for you? As in like, yeah, I had less of it.

Well, I guess like at school where it was everyone just like, oh, you're the actor kid. I was lucky. Not so much. Obviously, people were interested, especially people like in younger years. Mostly it was the teachers, actually. That would suck up to me. It was quite funny.

Oh, that's pretty sick. That's a better deal. No 10-year-olds watching Boy in the Striped Pajama. That's like such a hard film, right? No, but they did. Really? People studied it in school here.

Not 10-year-olds, like 13-year-olds. They studied it. That's wild. Interesting. I actually did watch it in school, too. Didn't-olds, like 13-year-olds. They studied it. That's wild. Interesting. I actually did watch it in school too. Didn't. Thank God. That would have been...

Fucking weird. That would have made it more complicated, yeah. Yeah. I think they saw that as being a potential issue. It would have been good for you in a brief circumstance where you could just walk on that assignment. Like, are you going to make me write about this? They give him an F.

They're like, no, you're wrong. Call the director. It's like a partner assignment. Everyone's like, what are you going to make me write? They give him an F. They're like, no, you're wrong. Call the director. It's like a partner assignment. Everyone's like, well, I got to be with that guy. I remember hearing when Emma Watson, she went to Brown. Because she got into Brown, which is a great school. And she would answer questions in class. And people would be like, yeah, three points for Gryffindor.

Yeah, that's funny, right? She fucking quit. She didn't want to finish. Get a role. and people be like, yeah, three points for Gryffindor. Yeah, that's funny, right? And then Ludwig in the back would laugh. She fucking quit. She didn't want to finish. Get a role. I think it's funny. It's funny like one time, you know? I know a lot of actors

who decided to just be homeschooled because school is kind of... It felt like you, and maybe I'm wrong here, lived a pretty normal life. I did. Even though you were a famous actor. Yeah, I think I was lucky.

How? I think because I started young and I like saw the side of the industry that I didn't want to be a part of

in kind of like particular parts of Hollywood and I just enjoyed being in London. I think being in London you're just slightly separate from

like the machine and just churning out all of these kids. Did you have opportunities to move to Hollywood that you rejected? Do you mean in the sense of not being in Hollywood? Yeah. I think Hollywood's massively destructive. I think just being away from that and also just having my family

and my friends who are all pretty supportive and chill. Did you ever turn down big roles because you were like, oh, that'll make me too big time. That'll be too big as a kid. If I turn down a role, it'd be because of the quality of the script and shit. You like to turn down shit stuff? The Ludwig biopic, he's not going to do.

Would you play me? I would write it, but I wouldn't write it for Asa. He wouldn't do it. He would play me in your biopic. That's so funny. We're way more similar looking than you fucking do. He just does his

one little Nick one-liner. I guess I'm going to give it a British actor thing. I feel like every child actor that's not from America, they just end up having better, more well-rounded lives. And then the child stars from the US are just like, it gets bad. They hit Coke by 14, heroin by 16.

Dude, not even the music industry. Aaron Carter, he was fucked up, man. There's a whole thing about how his life just got really, really weird. They have fraught relationships with their family. It's terrible. It's always a terrible path, but you are just like a normal guy who happens to, it feels like a job for you

rather than like you are an actor. And that's like my life. Yeah. Yeah. No, for sure. And I like being in school. Like when I was a kid, like it was nice to,

you're like 15, 16, you work with adults all day. It's nice to just like hang out with people your own age. Yeah. Like grow up with normal humans. You got buds like from way back? Or like where

are your friend groups? I met you know pretty much all these guys in the past like five years but I still got my childhood friends. A lot of my close friends are still like my friends

from school. Yeah. I guess it's the same area. Yeah. Born like fucking down the street. That makes sense. That's really nice.

Your life rules but not in the way that's like oh you're actor man. What sucks? What sucks? What sucks in your life? What sucks in my life? What sucks in your fucking life right now bro? Fucking blows dude. but not in the way that's like oh you're actor man what sucks what sucks what sucks in your life what sucks in my life

what sucks in your fucking life right now fucking bros dude complain complain just get out of there I want you to get dark with me right now dark

I want you to get crazy what are the dark thoughts you have we can bring back the therapy session this is where it's going let me rephrase what's the hardest

you've ever cried holy shit nah I'm just kidding what sucks about your life um not much damn it's so funny cried. Holy shit. Nah, I'm just kidding. What sucks about your life? Not much. Damn, you're so funny. Fuck!

Someone's gotta suck. You can't use Tinder correctly, I guess, because everyone's just like, alright. Does dating suck? Dating. Yeah, it has done in the past. It has its benefits, and it has its real drawbacks. I could imagine it'd suck if you like hooked up with someone

and like let's just say you bust fast and then they start telling people like oh dude Asa you wanna what's up? what's up bro? something you wanna talk about?

like if you happen to come quickly yeah if you happen if you happen to be someone I don't know if you happen to do it if that happened yeah

I don't know do you know a. Yeah. I don't know. Do you know a lot of people that that happens? If they talked about it. You got foreskin, you get it too, right? I do have foreskin. Yeah, so you know what it's like.

Yes. I was waiting to bring this up. Yes. We ask every guest if they have foreskin. The ratio is crazy right now. Hey, welcome. Welcome to the brotherhood.

Welcome to the club. Pleasure to have you. It's great. It's great working with you. So you know what? It's like bussing quick. To the club. Welcome to the club. Pleasure to have you. It's great. It's great working with you. So you know what? It's like busting quick. To the point. No, I see.

That's where I don't shake your hand. Really? Yeah. Me neither, dude. Shit. 50 minutes and I'm like, all right, I guess. I guess we'll go. Right, fellas?

Yeah. Look, here's the thing. I don't have any. I forgot. I lost my train of thought and I didn't want to keep talking about foreskin. Out of respect. Okay. See, when Ace's agency asked me to send over a list of things we'd ask,

this is kind of wise. Oh, there's rules? We need to prepare one. Okay. How deep can we get? We're going to ask him whether he's cut or uncut. That's chill, right? That has to be chill.

Oh, get a tummy involved. Get a little hair in there. All right. Hey, let's see yours again. Yeah, you were freaked out. That makes sense. So two things about you. Come on.

Thumbs out, thumbs out. So here's the thing. I'm like the greatest. So you have maybe the hairiest tummy I've seen comparatively to what you look like. I wouldn't guess you have a hairy tummy. No, people don't. You also got a beautiful belly button.

You got a hot belly, Eamon. I like your belly a lot. I would guess 11-12 stone. I don't really know in stone. Rookie. Wait, 11-12 for what? Casual. Stone is a measurement of weight that I don't know what means.

Do you guys work out? Oh, yeah. I actually do. I fucking hate it. Really? I hate working out so much. But could you not? I actually was thinking about this.

Could you not just be like, Mr. Agent, I want to look like Ryan Reynolds does now? And they'd be like, okay. And then you just do the thing where you take steroids or whatever holy people do? Yeah, but that's off of my own back. I don't want to be the one making that call. I want to have like Marvel call me up, be like, you're going

to get on like the Marvel diet. Here's your personal trainer. Here's your nutritionist. I don't have to think about it. You want to be like

British boy wonder. And then I'm like, great. I'm like, now I feel fit. Is that something you want to do? No.

Like, would you throw that out to the universe and be like, agent, be like, give me a role that just gives me fucking hot. Like, yes and no. No, because a role that just gets me fucking hot. Like, yes and no. No, because

I can't really be fucked. Right. Yes, because everyone wants to look hot. But you get paid to do it and it's like you get an acting gig and you get to look hot after. It's still work. It is a lot of work. That's like the main way the analog for YouTubers is doing a boxing match

to get ripped. It's got to pay off somehow. Yeah, yeah. I see what you're saying. It becomes your motivation for doing it. I have a dream of doing a chess boxing match, but I think I'm too much of a pussy to do it, so I'll just host it and commentate it. Yeah, fair enough.

Because it's scary, dude. Do you want to do chess boxing for us? Would you chess box? Where does the boxing come into this? You play chess, a round of chess,

and then a timer goes off. For every piece you take? You switch over and you go to boxing. You get one punch.

The goal, you either win by checkmate or knockout. Whatever happens first. So it's like two minutes of chess,

two minutes of boxing, back to chess, back to boxing. And this is a thing? It's a real sport that already existed

before me from the 80s. And this is the thing? It's a real sport that already existed before me from the 80s. And you progressively get way worse at chess because you're getting fucking punched. You keep taking concussions. And you get no better at boxing. Imagine. Imagine you do some sort of bishop move

but the boxing version. I've been offered because iDubbbz, you know him the youtuber i do he's trying to run a boxing event but he was gonna box rice gum and he backed out and items is now fucking just like huge like he's been doing it for like six months eight months like he's just been training and so he's like what do i do with my rage he's literally just going around like like door-to-door asking any youtubers like please fight me. Please, get in the fucking ring with me. And so I got hit up, and I'm like, no.

You're eight months deep. You're trained. You're ripped. This is my tummy. Yeah, it's true. This is what I got. You got an appendix scar and a dream, dude. And a chest.

I think if I get punched in my chest, I'll die. You don't have enough bone to protect you. I believe that the heart is like an inch away, and it's just like, nah, you're good. if I get punched in my chest while I die. You don't have enough bone to protect you. I believe that the heart is like an inch away and it's just like, nah, you're good. Like you give an extra beat. You should be able to wear

like a little, like maybe fill it. Fill it? Yeah, with some sort of concrete. With like cement. Yeah. Sort of cup.

Yeah. Cup for your, it's like an inverse cup. Yeah. And yeah, and it'll keep you safe. Yeah, maybe that's what I'll do, man. I had a dream last night.

About me? I'm not kidding that me and Nick went into some English person's house and we started, like, I spilled something and she got really mad at me. And we're like in her house, like, this is normal, but it's not. It's a dream. Spilled something. She gets insanely furious at me. And I start cleaning up and I'm like, I'm sorry.

She's like, oh, stupid Americans. And I'm like, oh, I'm sorry. And then I get mad up and I'm like, I'm sorry. She's like, oh, stupid Americans. And I'm like, oh, I'm sorry. And then I get mad. And I'm like, here's some money. Because that's what you all care about. This is a dream. What the fuck? And so I take money.

I'm like, that's what you care about. So just take the money then. All of a sudden, she like screams outside. She's like, hey, come on and get them. And there's like six lads. And now they're chasing us for the whole dream. And we're running away trying to hide from

these British hooligans that are trying to kill us. We disrespected their mom. Is the end of the stream like that one video with those three shirtless British lads hitting each other over the back with lawn chairs? Have you seen that? I don't know who I am.

It's a fucking great video. They could be Russian, right? No, they're definitely British. They're in the back patio of the house. They're all shirtless. They're all pretty fucking jacked. And the guy's just like, hit me with it. And his friend pulls up a chair that he folds up,

and he just bends over, takes a massive hit of his cigarette. Here we go. Get over the legendary. It is one of the greatest videos I think on the Internet. Fucking amazing video. And they just drag. I love how they kiss before because it demasculates the whole thing. She just put this video but still makes it so hard.

You got to you got to pick up. This is so funny. You gotta mic up. Yeah, he lines it up and it's a minute, but it goes hard. He's hitting him in the ass. Yeah, so this guy gets it fine, and I'm gonna skip ahead here.

He goes back. He goes back for more. Yeah. I love when he tells him to hit him again. I love when he tells him to hit him again. And then it gets sad for a moment. When do they kiss? Oh, you missed it.

It's at the way beginning, yeah. The first second of it? Right here. Oh. It's so sick. That makes it okay. It's really sweet. It makes it sweet.

If they didn't kiss, it's like a weird video. You're like, British people. But now you're like, oh, British people. So lovely. Yeah, it is lovely, isn't it? Okay, recommendation for me as a British man. I've been seeing a lot of posters. Okay, is this cringe?

I want to go to a play. It's cringe in the wrong context. It's cringe because you think it is. It's cringe because you want to do it here specifically. I feel like if we were in New York, you wouldn't do this. I think I might. Why do you want to see a play? We live in LA.

You would never do this at home. I feel like unlike LA, I've been hit with so many ads. For Les Mis, for Moulin Rouge. We do love it here. I say we. I never go to the theater. Do you never go? No, not really.

Have you never done theater acting? No. Is that not something you're interested in? Really? No. I like the cameras. Wow. Yeah.

I've thought about it, but it's not for me. Are there actors who look down on you for that? Maybe. Camera guy. He doesn't need to stage. You're like the Bo Burnham of actors. He didn't go to stage. You're like the Bo Burnham of actors. He didn't go to comedy school. He just went directly from YouTube video

to comedy special to movie. You're like that. That's a huge compliment. Thank you very much. Bo Burnham's a legend. I'm not saying I was an insult. The thing is, the theater is so beautiful.

I have an English degree. Do you have a degree? No, sir. So listen up. Take some notes. Boy, do I have a lot to teach you right now. I'll just say, I will say, I was like, I want to ask Asa about Shakespeare because I'm such a dirty little slut. I didn't like Shakespeare in school.

You didn't? No. That's crazy. I feel like maybe I would actually have a chang in my ass. Probably not. I mean, maybe if you had to be forced to sit down and read it, you're like, oh, okay, that's kind of cool. But it's like, we live in the era where you can play video games instead, and that's beautiful. I just finished God of War.

Literally. I heard it's fire. It's fucking good. It's the best single player game I've played in a while. That's what other people have been saying, too. Also, it's a great ending. You played it? I've only watched it.

Guilty pleasure. God, it's a great ending. You played it? I've only watched it. Guilty pleasure. God, you're so weird. I watched Soda Poppin' play it, and I watched for about 24 hours straight because he did this thing where he plays it straight through. Holy shit. I can't watch anyone play games that long.

Well, I fucked up this month because I have to stream a certain amount of hours on YouTube, and I've streamed maybe 20 so far, and the month's almost over. Oh, my God. So I have to do a 24-hour stream of Elden Ring when I get back.

That's hype. You a Souls guy? Do you like Souls, As Souls guy do you like Souls Asa I've played bits I played Sekiro which I actually really enjoyed but I wouldn't call myself a Souls guy I call Dark Souls 1 the wire of video games does that make sense to you

I mean I've seen parts of the wire but your comparison goes over my head have you played Psychonauts no I mean, I've seen parts of The Wire, but your comparison goes over my head. Have you played Psychonauts? No. I feel like I've got it on the Game Pass. Yeah, it's a Game Pass game for sure. Yeah.

Oh, the second one? Yeah, yeah. My favorite game. Just play Super Mario Pets, bro. That's all you need. Oh, my God. All right, we're at 90, and I'm full of piss, and I have to go to the trough. Wait, before we wrap up, I actually did have a last question for you.

Yeah. What's up? So we were just talking about like the way you got into acting and the, it wasn't long. I did a bit of acting. Yeah. He did smash on his stuff. I put him on. You did a lot of great acting.

I'm a good actor. You weren't, you didn't have an educational background in acting either. I'm the best actor in the gaming world outside of Wilneff and like 30 other people, but tough list. Go ahead. Um, because, I'm the best actor in the gaming world outside of Wilnef and like 30 other people. Tough list. Go ahead. Because you don't like come from the, like a, I guess like a traditional background in acting.

Like when you start so young and you figure out all these things by yourself. Like when you prepare for a role. Because I feel like there's all these stories of like, you know, Daniel Day-Lewis like lives as the character for like months or like Heath Ledger, like spent the month in the hotel room before he became like the Joker on Dark Knight. How do you prepare for, how do you generally prepare for a role and is it like different between roles?

Like do you pick a specific way every time or do you like, how have you figured that out? Yeah, it is kind of different depending on the role some roles need more work and like kind of like workshopping and figuring out i'm not a method actor by any means like i would never put myself through that because i feel like yeah that seems like insane even in the world of acting yeah i've never felt that necessary um and also i play a lot of the roles i play feel quite familiar to me. So I feel like I can kind of

just be a version of myself. When you queue up for like a new season and you're going to be Otis again, like do you just like, yeah, I'm going to be, and you just slip into Otis mode and it's easy?

When you've been doing something that long, you can kind of just go into it. Dude, is acting just easy? Dude. Oh shit. Don't make me say that. Is that what it is?

Don't make me say that. Do you just play God of got a war go downstairs and you're like I have sex like two million sir they literally tell me what to say really write down that's all on a page I do all have to do is learn it it's so't have to... Dude, it's so easy. He just shows up, reads a script for a little bit. You should try to be a streamer for a year. That's what pisses me off. I've tried streaming. Have you? Yeah. And you didn't like it? I didn't like...

Well, when I play games, I feel like I'm always tryharding, and I find it hard to tryhard and talk and be entertaining. Yeah, that's why I don't like it. This is my problem with streaming, is I want to win, and winning becomes harder when you're streaming. Yeah. Gaming should become secondary to the entertainment of the people who are watching, and you should not care about gaming, is my take on it.

You know what pisses me off a little bit, what you just said? Because I'll write stuff. I write ads for him for stuff, and I'm the writer guy, and he says it, and you never look. You never give a shit, and you're like, I'll just wing it. And then we end up doing 30 takes, and I write it down for you. No, we shop on that here. Wait, I thought he was two take Tony.

I'm two take Tony. Do you consider him a two take Tony just looking at him? Let's show him corn base. Are you a one take Jake or are you a two take Tony? I'm neither. Let's show this guy corn base and let him judge my acting chops.

I fucking hate you so goddamn much. Last thing. I'll just give you a little taste. You're going to make him watch Corn Bakes? Are you kidding me? I'm making him watch my reel. This is what you do, right? You have a reel? You have an acting reel.

Wait, I actually didn't know you had a reel. My acting reel is just a one. Wait, it's just Corn Bakes. He doesn't have one. It's not a reel. Have you ever played someone that wasn't you? Is this you getting a chair smacked over your back? No, no.

Yes, this role right here. I'm playing a southern man. Would you believe his back used to look like that? I'm not southern. It's true. Yeah, yeah. Why are you struggling so much with this right now? It's one-handed, and I'm hot, and I have to pee in the trough.

He really does get overwhelmed like a child. All right, Archie, I'm starting it now. Go. You don't have to watch the whole thing. Is this you? You don't have to watch the whole thing. It's just you. That's me. I took that B shot. Fuck me. Thoughts? Excellent. thoughts excellent you didn't show the next part with me thank you for watching the yard oh you validated two people

on the show too much today the two of them are gonna ride this for so long yeah we we did actually best accent best actor in the room we needed a w well mr president second best actor in the room. We needed a W. Mr. President. Second best actor in the room, sorry. Best actor in the fucking room. Thank you for watching The Yard, everybody. We appreciate it. We're at our 90 minutes. We have another hour we're going to do with, I think, Archie.

Yeah, maybe Archie. Our editor. We're going to put an hour together somewhere in this hellscape of a city. Dude, we should do it at the Boris, I keep calling it the Boris rally, the anti-Boris Johnson rally that's happening in London tomorrow. It's a city. Dude, we should do it at the Boris, I keep calling it the Boris rally, the anti-Boris Johnson rally that's happening in London tomorrow. That'll be hard. It's a big thing.

I'm down. Let's just bring microphones and then set up chairs. And then you just start interviewing people there. Yeah. This is actually a really good idea. This is just theater of life.

This is a great idea. We're doing good neighbor theater of life, but at a rally. Well, it's actually- But we would be talking to, it's different, but you're right,

but kind of. But also, that's a great thing, and it ended. So let's bring it back, baby. Yes, sir. And then we'll do it in accents the whole time. All right, so yeah, you want to see our bonus episode? I think you should do your corn-based accent in Saturday Night. You saw that accent?

Yeah. It's decent. I couldn't do it again. Anyway, that's it. That's all. You want to see our bonus episode, join the Patreon. Do one more hour. I have to pee so bad in the truck.

That is all. Thank you for watching, Asa. Thank you for doing it. Thanks, boys. Thanks for having me. It was really nice. Do you had to pee so bad in the truck that is all thank you for watching Asa thank you for doing it thanks boys thanks for having me hopefully it was fun do you have to pee? no

you really want that shared pee moment no I don't I don't want it do you have to? let's fucking do it alright goodbye everyone bye

enjoy your peace bye