The Yard - Ep 36 - Nick Gets Tattooed During the Podcast

Episode Date: March 16, 2022

This week, the boys recount The Streamer Awards, everyone has their own run in with Jerma, and Nick gets a Garfield tattoo during the show.

Oh Great clap great. You guys know the secret to clapping. Oh my god Every time fucking every time you do the secret to clapping I hate it It was Nick I was making fun of Nick It was me I hate you Why? I hate him too I hate him too

What? Let's go Okay You Alright well what's up Why do you look so dumb? You do look Yeah

Why do you look so dumb Aiden actually looked great And then I just looked over him right now I think he changed or something He did He looks stupid now Yeah you look stupid also I know I'm cold as shit

I put a shirt on. Bro, your shirt looks one ply. I don't have a sweater. Yeah, you look like you were dressed as a peasant in a movie. I'm just cold. You're the people in Game of Thrones going, shame.

Yeah, do you shovel poop? You thought I looked good with the fucking blazer on over this? Dude, you thought I could look good with a really nice suit jacket on? With this? I don't think it looked nice. I wish Warchewel was here. I can go put the jacket back on.

Go get the jacket and come back. Okay. I wish Warchewel was here, man. So here we are. Welcome back to the yard, by the way. Where are we? We're at outer limits tattoo in long beach uh this is not paid promotion but uh hold on so come down to

outer limits in long beach uh five percent off all garfield tattoos for the next month yeah we went here because they specialize in garfield tattoos it's weird yeah they only do garfield flash it's like all over the walls. It's pretty tight. Our tattoo artist is, what was your name? Sorry again. Brandon. Jonathan. Jonathan.

It's Brandon. It's JonathanBrandon.com slash org. And he'll be our trusty doctor today. At BrandDoom on Instagram. Yeah. At BrandDoom on OnlyFans as well. And it's GarfunkelLover on Reddit. I do think it's funny.

Nick was like, I'm like, who's doing it? And he's like, oh, it's this person I've been trying to, I've been wanting them to do a piece for a long time. And then it's like the one that- And the follow-up was, but I didn't know what I wanted to get from them yet.

So I hadn't reached out yet. And here we are. I was waiting for this moment. Garfield with a big old fucking hat on. Yeah. He Venmo requested me for the deposit for this And it just said Garfield period Big ass hat

Descriptive I do love the hat popping out of the box Yeah that was a good touch Last minute call I just felt like it was right I like that also you can't see it now but when I turn my leg It kind of looks like a boner It does

The tip is a little ambiguous what if we make the not not ambiguous but you want to turn it in you want to turn it to turn into a boner we need the head to be a piece well you're gonna have to rub it you want that when i got when i got this one i was kind of scared because like it it peaks out a little bit and this part right here i sent it to nick i was like it kind of looks like a drooping dick but it's like i i'm happy with it and then nick just reassured me he's like no that's hardcore yeah it's hardcore dude the horse has a cock now you tell me you want that to not be the case yeah i feel like of all people here you'd be the least concerned about having a drooping dick on your body it's my first one and i was just like maybe i don't want that you know the second one

just obviously when i when i was planning my sleeve, I was like 17 and I was so excited. I drew it myself. I went to my artist and I was just like, Hey, so I like did like the map of like what I kind of want to look like. And I showed it to him. And the first thing he goes, that is a penis.

What? He looked at me. He goes, that's a penis. You drew, you just drew a penis. Did you accidentally draw a penis? I must've.

And I was like so embarrassed. I was so excited to get it. I'm like, Oh, Oh yeah. I wanted that to look exactly like this. But in my head I was like, I want to look exactly like this. I was like so embarrassed. I was so excited to get it. I'm like, oh, oh, yeah. Well, it didn't have to look exactly like this. But in my head, I was like, I want to look exactly like this.

I'm so fucking stupid. Oh, my God. And then he redrew it for me. Do you still have a picture of your penis? Yeah, I got a picture of it somewhere. I'll post it in the Patreon. Yeah. Anyway.

Oh, here we are. Nick is going to get his tattoo while we do the episode. So that's pretty cool. I think some people are confused why we're here. Yeah, they might have missed. They probably did actually miss because more people watched the pod and watched the the the context it was our our first big patreon goal it was when we get to 10 000 patrons the everybody in the discord gets to vote on a tattoo that nick gets on my real ass body we hosted a little tournament we had a bunch of different submissions. Oh, you're like my best. You are a beautiful woman.

I know. I'm like every other girl on the patio last night. This is a nice jacket. Thank you. That's an I can fix you jacket. You know he wrote a bike. But we had submissions. We put them all into a bracket, seeded it by types of tattoos, I guess.

Yeah. I had people... I know. I'm a little embarrassed right now. And Garfield came out on top over the number one seed, which was my face. Yeah, your face. Have I dreamed this? Yeah, it was his face.

Part of me wishes your face won still. Wait, it's not too late. No, this would go against the will of the people. Fuck the people. Fuck the people is actually how I feel too. Yo, super fuck the people. Let's just not do it. Imagine that.

Honestly, we go home. Imagine getting all the way here and walking it back. Look, I've been around the block. I got a lot of shitty tattoos. This one won't be shitty. It's going to be great. I'm excited. What's his name?

Dennis? Greg. Greg Mann. Don't talk about other tattooers while you're here. Oh, shit. That off limits? Conflict.

It's on the contract. Don't bring up her. It's true. So, yeah, we were at the thing. Streamer Awards? Literally hours ago. Yeah, we were stream the thing. Streamer Awards? Literally hours ago. Yeah, we were streamer awarding it up. How did you guys have it?

Did you have a good time? Oh, I love the streamer awards. I like seeing people. You say it like you've been going to the streamer awards. Oh, all those awards. Dude, every year. Every year that gets planned. I love going there.

Dude, that's great. I thought it was tight. I thought it was like in person. I don't know the experience online except watching you. That's great. I thought it was tight. I thought it was like in person. I don't know the experience online except watching you. Let's stop. Did you win anything? I won streamer of the year. All time.

Because he's piping a person that made the event. Show them the evidence. XQC fan in the building. He's a juicer. I can do this because I'm sitting here. I'll find the evidence. You don't believe it? I don't believe it. Yeah, XQC fan in the building. Oh, he's a juicer. Look, I can do this because I'm sitting here. I'll find the evidence. You guys keep rolling.

Let's pause for a moment, talk about how I'm the fucking Michael Jordan of doing interviews. Wow. You win. Go ahead. Who else? Dude, it's not. Oh, who else? Yeah, is it Nardwar?

Who's Braun? I don't know. He again? Yeah, is it Nardwar? Who's Braun? I don't know. Me again. Yeah, no, I was like, this is the one time I've ever relished in me doing well at something because I think it's funny as how little I prepared.

Yeah. And I just kind of sent it. Yeah, you did send it. You did well. If no one saw it, you should go check it out. But I will say you got helped out because if you're the Jordan of doing interviews,

JHB is like the JHB of basketball. JHB on the bulls. Yeah. So it's not really fair. And he just got put out on the court. Yeah, yeah. JHB's interviews were unironically like you doing the soft hands guy because he spent most of it trying to do a handshake.

Well, that's the bit right it's his bit but i think what i've realized over time is that it's not i don't think it's a bit it's not a thing okay but but it's still funny it is still funny i show up there's jhb there's nim i don't know who nim is at all both of them that we all just start talking and they're both nervous, both of them. Yeah. And I was like, JHB, he's like a kid. I'm like, oh, you care. I see. All right. Yeah, yeah.

And I was like, we were just talking about it. I was giving him advice, a little bit solicited. I wasn't trying to be a parent. And then there was Nim. He was like, yeah, I'm really nervous too. And I'm like, he's like, what are you going to ask these people? He's like, oh, I'm just going to ask who they're really excited to see and stuff like that and i'm like and i pull out my sheet of paper that says like do you ever beat off in the sink

i guess uh yeah favorite emote yeah different i guess i'm doing this either wrong or right uh but no i think it was fine and um one thing with, there was a problem because I was supposed to get, we had like a list of people who were going to get, and they were given a card when they checked in. It said, go to station two, get your interview with Slime. No one looked at their card. Ludwig didn't look at his card. I didn't.

And I like missed Prezzo. I missed like a couple people and I was kind of sad about that. But otherwise, it was fine. You didn't interview Ludwig, right? I was specifically set to interview with Nim. I literally was like, maybe I go here? They were like, no, you don't. People on LSF were like,

I think they were just going toward people that made them feel comfortable. They were choosing the interviewer. Immediately abandoned his friends. First award. It's true shit. Cat's out of the bag. I'm the streamer of the year, Brandon.

Okay. What's up, bitches? It's me. And yeah, I think now I'm going to start like a new pod. It's going to be me, Wirtual. I'm going to find two fill-ins for you two. Slicker. Who's me?

Slicker. Or Northern Lion. And then you'd probably be like You got no one. You got no one, bro. No, I do. Andrea Botez. Stance.

I was going to go Andrea Botez, but I'll go Stance. Dude. Stance makes sense. Yeah, Stance. It'll be me, virtual Stance, and Slicker.

Why does Stance make sense, Anthony? Stance makes sense because we went Dude, this poor guy just literally getting diced up. His ankle's broken left and right. Like he's just like a test dummy and they're just doing and one like takes on him. Okay, well explain what you did a bit.

Listen. Because we went to a party before the Streamer Awards. The night before, yeah. It was at the Envy House, the same place where the big dramatic story with Daniel happened. Yeah, yeah. And this was just a much better experience because there wasn't crazy people. Just a shitload of people.

But there was a lot of people. And one person in particular went up to you. Are we name dropping? Are you getting crazy? No, we won't name drop him. Let's not name drop him. But I will say this. He's a normal guy.

His name's... Really nice. Come on. His name's... Archie, handle that shit. We work with had all that shit we work with him yeah we were and he's like why are you guys doing this it's more of a bit for archie than for me and uh and he comes up to me and nick and he's like he's like hey how's it going and he's like says hi to me and i'll like say hi he's like literally the first person i see that i know there so i'm like okay this is good i need to talk to somebody

very personable he's a really pleasant guy i talked to him a bunch last night talking he's a little he kind of gets ahead of himself though and what he did is he said oh oh shit and then and then he looks over at nick and he's like yo stands like i'm so glad you showed up like you're like you're sick you're up for Rising Star, right? And I thought that, I don't know this person, so I thought he was just making a joke. And so I look over at Anthony, and I'm like, me and Atriok just chilling out.

And he goes, oh, I already met Anthony. You can't fool me. And I'm like, huh? Yeah, he was trying to say that I was Atriok. And he was like, no, you son of a bitch. And we were really confused. He was like, okay, okay, okay. That was weird.

You almost fooled me. So we sort of walk away from that interaction, and I'm like really confused like okay okay you almost fooled me yeah so we sort of walk away from that interaction i'm like anthony doesn't really think about it and i'm walking around i have this moment i'm like oh my god this guy fucking actually thinks i'm stands i realize it i run to anthony i'm like anthony anthony there's a person here who believes with their whole heart that i am nathan stands what do i do now yeah and like i try to process i'm like you know what i think you're right and then uh there was there was a conversation in between the the big one where it was like maybe it was like with hbox came up to us or something we like soft confirmed it again he like said your name and i was like oh yeah totally fucking

things yeah totally things up stands i was like do i like rail line of coke in front of him like what do I do? One time Nick breaks edge. Yeah, we wanted to like ruin Stan's his life mainline heroin. Yeah. Yeah slurs Exactly. And his idea was like walking up to him and like pulling like like three cell phones out of my pocket and being like Don't tell anyone I took these phones out of my pocket and being like shh don't tell anyone i took these oh that's great that's just the prezzo it's like when prezzo tweeted out of the award show that tweet hung out with ludwig but he kept saying a slur but he actually wrote it out you gotta look at the tweet it is literally a work of literature that i cannot repeat or interact with because it gives it

validity it's a fake tweet oh my god it really happened what what what is a fake tweet it's like i read it like that kind of makes it real. If he reads it, it's real. Okay, Stance. Let's continue. Oh, okay. Well. So we're like, okay. And then we're like, we see him later on at the party and we're like, okay, I have an

idea. And Nick is like, I'm not ready. I'm not ready. And I'm like, come here. We go do this now. The reason why I felt unready was because. He's in the corner watching Stance videos. This person...

Well, guys, how's it going? This person, and forgive me if I'm saying your name wrong and you're watching this, was talking to Michelle Carr. Yeah. And I saw her in PogChamps. I'm like, oh, she seems like really cool and nice and interesting. That's someone I would actually like to meet. But I knew I was going to have to be Nathan Stance in this interaction.

So we go up. It's just those two and they're talking. And I have this whole bit formulated in a second. I'm like, okay, listen up. So what are your chances, both of you guys, you can play along. What are your chances what do you think is a chance

of Stantz here right next to me winning Rising Star of the Year? And then they both like, I think you got it, dude. I think you got it. Dan's here right next to me winning Rising Star of the Year. And then they both like, he's like, I think you got it, dude. I think you got it. And I'm like, oh, shit. And so this actually sparked a big debate. So I'm skipping a little bit because it's important.

This sparked a big debate in the Uber ride home because I was telling Lubbock this story and busting up laughing. And he goes, oh, no, dude, she owned you. Yeah, he was telling the story. He was like, dude, I own these two guys. Like I was there and i was like stands and they were both getting diced up in the court and i was mixing them okay well not exactly and i was like i was like no you actually just got dunked on and and so a lot of was saying that so michelle and stands coached michelle in the fortnight event yeah michelle's whole thing is like learning a thing for like a couple months and she has one person coach her through that thing and one time she did Fortnite and Stans was the fucking coach

and I was saying I'm like Anthony was there he saw her reaction if she actually was joking or like was like basically going along or owning me back she's the best actress on YouTube here's the great thing for you buddy I DM'd her here we go I DM'd her yesterday

and I asked her a simple question. I said, hey, Michelle, did you see Stans at the party last night? And then she hit me back with, Stans was my Fortnite coach for six weeks. The man I met last night was calling himself Stans. He was not Stans. What the fuck is going on? Dude. Oh, my God.

So she just played along the whole time in her whole time with a beautiful smile on her face literally like indiscernible also the conversation wasn't like this is another human also named stans it was very much like hey stans remember working at patreon yeah yeah oh dude we started we're like nick just started dragging shit up he's like ah you know i used to work at patreon i used to work at patreon he didn't know he was like and then you know it was like gen g and He's like, you know, I used to work at Patreon. I used to work at Patreon. And then he didn't know. He was like, and then, you know, it was Gen G. And he's like, oh, yeah, Gen G. Dude. Another thing is that the guy we were talking to, he's like, yeah, this guy's crazy.

It's actually the first time I met him. I was talking to him on Discord like three days ago. So the person we were fucking with has spoken to Stan. Recently. Just not in person. And I'm like, this is so fucking funny. So anyway, you got diced. Yeah. So I got And I'm like, this is so fucking funny. So anyway, you got diced. Yeah, so I got diced,

which makes this story so much better. And Michelle, if you're watching, that's awesome. Thank you, one, for playing along because it made the guy who thinks I'm Stan's continue to think I'm Stan's, which is so important for later in the story. And two, you're a great creator. Thank you for being a big fan.

Big fan. The question is, where along the night did this person figure it out later on at the award show? So we were at the award show yesterday, and I saw Stans go up to accept his award. Stans go up to accept his award. And I was at the bar, and I was thinking about it, and I was like, this is the moment where it all comes, it all hits at once. The beauty is the next day at the awards ceremony, I'm on the second floor of the event. I run into the person. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And he walks up. He's like, what's up, Stans? And I'm like, still? Wow. I'm like, I get to continue this joke for another day. And so I'm sitting there. I'm sitting there. I look over at Zipper 2, and she looks looks back at me and her eyes are literally saying, I

will be Stan's wife. She's like, I will do what it takes right now. And I want you to know that this makes me uncomfortable, but I will do what it takes. And that's that silent communication that you earn through a relationship. Yeah. And he's with a friend and the friend is also being convinced that I'm Stan's through this interaction. And I'm getting to a point where I'm like, this is so amazing.

And it's so much that I think I'll stay here for too long. And I was like, good to see you boys. I'll see you guys later. Wish me luck. I leave. Oh, by the way, Hitler is cool. Yeah. By the way.

Stans is fucked up. By the way, more like the whack scene. You asked me, bro. Shit's kind of whack. Hitler did kill Hitler. That's true. He is responsible for killing Hitler. He did the world a solid.

I've never heard that argument. It was like, she's the man. Where you were just switching. Yeah, with Amanda Bynes. Where you're just switching between real stance and fake stance. Yeah. Because presumably he would bump into real stance too. And maybe just believe it's the same person.'s what i i was waiting for the moment where you know you're just hanging out in a circle at the party right and then stands and nick just step up at the same time because

then you get to watch the realization happen in person like to be in that circle and see that guy's face just like like like his eye just twitch like process what's going on because because then he's like but then who are you yeah dude smoke starts coming out of his ears it was also pretty tight that i got to be stands in that interaction um because i'm not gonna say what but they were trying the the person is involved in a company and they were trying to sell a product and uh the his associate was trying to sell me on a product in this conversation but then he goes oh no no we already sold him we already sold him and i was like oh stan's got sold i don't have to have this dumb ass conversation

now that's awesome easy so by the way fellas i'm out yeah should have told you i'm not coming for 30 percent asshole whatever deal i signed or whatever I promised three days ago, I want you to know that it's not for me anymore. I'll accept half. I like how your stance, you're just, you're evil stance. You're just, you're, you're, what is it? Dark stance. Hyde. Hyde?

And he's Dr. Jekyll. I think you're overpaying me. I'll say it. Just fuck with him. Anyway. You guys know Atriok exists, right? There's, there's no atrioc exists right there's there's you guys don't you found out about that one there's kind of this open-ended uh you know not like ending to this because we don't know the moment that this person realized this insane thing yeah and so

shouts out we're probably gonna i like to believe they're still out there talking with stans thinking that they have a report now. So I talked with that same guy separate circumstances a bunch this past weekend. I have his phone number. Okay. I will do a follow-up and we'll find out.

I'm not going to call him right now. Right now? I'm not going to call him right now. Don't be shy. No, he answers me because I talk to him

on Discord. Look at this. Give him a ring. Let's reveal now who the murderer was in Scooby-Doo. I'm doing it. All right. Let's take off the mask. I want to call this right now.

If he says I knew the whole time, he's lying. But he might have known day two. No way. Stan's mind, I just told him. You already got diced up once by Michelle. She's a genius. That's a lot of calls. He's so confident. Michelle, genius of the game, I just told him. You already got diced up once by Michelle. She's a genius. That's a lot of call. He was so confident.

Michelle, genius of the game. I was so confident. You two were having this argument while I was trying to sleep in the car. I was like in the ether, leaning against the window. No pickup? No pickup.

Probably just iced us all out. Probably blocked us all. Found out. The only answer is to Stan's. Maybe I should call. So yeah, that was insane that they just happened that way what else has happened the party was cool me and hasan showed up in the same outfit kind of no and uh well we're just both we're just both wearing cheetah print that's really it that is it hold on anyway so before you like fucking rudely interrupted me that was so weird so i'm upstairs and me will So I'm upstairs and me, Wilnef, and Hasan are in a circle.

I kind of walk up to their circle. And Wilnef takes like a double take at both of us, realizes that we're both wearing kind of the same sort of gig. And then he points at Hasan. He points at me and looks at Hasan and goes, he looks better than you do. And I dap up Will and I'm like, my boy, I needed that. That's plus one for the yard. We did need that.

We're going to take the millionaires down. I hate talking to Hasan and and literally having to look up. I hate it. Oh, dude. It makes me feel like a little baby with a diaper on. Dude, you're just a diaper baby. He's so tall. When I see him, I can't help but touch his deltoids and slap him around.

That's what I want to do when I see him, too. I want to put my hand between his thighs and do that thing and slap his thighs. And make that funny noise. In reverb. You know what I mean? We were talking about it. You know what I mean? It's a lot of bogget.

It's like if you're... I was saying if you're bald, Hasan, you can't do it. You're reverb. You know what I mean? We were talking about it. You know what I mean? It was a lot of bogget. It's like if you're, I was saying like, if you're bald, like Hasan, you can't do it. You're done. You're washed. Imagine bald Hasan.

He was like, I thought about this. I thought about this. I mean, he definitely mainlines Finsteride. We don't know that. He might just have genetics of a lord.

Probably. Of a god. You don't think he has good genes? No, he has great genes. Have you seen him? He's like 6'8", and built like a truck. Yeah, he's got some good genes. Yeah, he has great genes. Have you seen him? He's like 6'8 and built like a truck. Yeah, he's got some good genes.

Yeah, he looked like the teddy bear that Slime has. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, people were making that joke. Yeah, put a picture on the screen, Archie. Yeah, Eamon, God. So this is the first time I think I've ever went to a big social gathering where I was like, hey, that was all right.

And that was pretty cool for me. And I was just like trying to be more like Eamon. And then I watch Eamon and he's just like this social lubricant. He's a greasy guy. He's grease. You get into this line and say, what would Aiden do here? He walks up. I love the social network, the movie.

Yeah. And then some fucking dipshit is like, me too. Yeah. And you're like, wow, this is so easy. Oh, my God. Yeah. And then you just have to talk about Aaron Sorkin dialogue for the next 15 minutes. On the plane when they, like, report the news?

That's crazy. No, dude. Aiden's insane because there were these times we were all, like, talking in the kitchen, and Aiden was, like, a little bit away talking to, like, Alex or something, and someone fucked with the volume on the music, and it just, like, starts, like, going deaf. You literally can't hear somebody next to you. It was really loud. But Aiden, in response to this immediately just starts dancing yeah like that's

just what he does what's crazy if it's on a plane he just gets mad he goes like because i'm trying to i'm trying to watch i'm trying to watch the news they started playing 303 at this party they They did. I instantly felt like I was 16 again. And I was talking to someone. And the volume kept going really loud and then really quiet because of a weird phone connection thing. And the person I was talking to, I was really interested in this conversation. And then 303 just starts blasting. And I lean over and I'm like, this would make me really mad if this song wasn't fucking awesome.

And I was like, let's just listen until this stops. It's only awesome because you haven't heard it in 70 years. That's how I felt. This song fucking brought... This throwback to the month where this was cool. God. I'm from Colorado. 303 is a big... That's the area code. It's a big deal. They still sell out, I think.

Is that where they're... They still do shows. Are they from there? It's just kind of interesting because it's like, it's just the most like cringe-ass, like angry, like white boy, like I fuck girls music. It's so interesting.

Like only for that year was that cool, it feels like. No, they were in like the Kesha era, I feel like, where like that music was just, everyone liked it. And you wanted to go to a party and just hear like LMFAO 303.

I guess LMFAO is in the stream. I still want to hear LMFAO. Yeah. You want to hear you wanted to go to a party and just hear like LMFAO 303. I guess LMFAO. I still want to hear LMFAO. Yeah. You want to hear LMFAO? At a party? Yeah, LMFAO in the yard. I want to get down. Yeah.

I want to go crazy. Streamer parties, I will say, I feel like we romanticize them a bit. They're pretty lame. Yeah. They're pretty fucking lame. What do you mean lame? I think the one we went to. I think the one before the streaming rewards was pretty good.

The night before? Okay. Hey, party monster. What's a lame lame? I think the one we went to. I think they're flying. The streaming rewards was pretty good the night before. Okay, hey, party monster. What's a lame party game? Dude, okay, they had Brawl on the TV with two Wiimotes. That was crazy, but they also had like- Wait, that's cash. I don't think that makes the party lame. Yeah, that's cash money dollars.

With Wiimotes. It evens the playing field. It's a party game. And they were playing on the Mario Kart stage with the walk-off. I mixed up this Norwegian girl. Dude, dude, I walk over. Okay, so holy shit. Holy shit. So we're at this fucking party. on the mario kart stage with the wall this norwegian girl dude dude i walk over okay holy so so we're at this party and there's no mercy just do it

listen to what i do so so super smash brothers so i don't know brandon i don't know if you know this so the way that the four of us all met was competing in super smash brothers oh we met at tournaments dude um who do tournaments. Who do you play? Do you know my celebrity crush? Princess Peach? No, I don't know who that is. Mewtwo King? Oh! Mewtwo King. You just said a unique sentence in the universe that's only been said one time. No one has ever said

I don't know who Princess Peach is and I have a crush on Mewtwo King. I would wreck that dude. He's so hot. Wow I would wreck that, dude. He's so hot. Wow. Damn. I would wreck that, dude. He's so hot. I'll tell you what.

I have a direct line to Jason. Call him right now, please. I will not do that. Is his name Jason? Jason. I won't call him Jason. I'll call him Mew2King. He messages me once every couple weeks and says, hey, do you want to come to my tournament?

Yes. The answer is yes. I have yet to reply, but... Left him on red, bro. This is the most niche simp thing This is crazy. I've ever seen.

This is incredible. So anyway, so we have a bit of a background in the game and at this party, Super Smash Bros. Brawl, the worst in the series, is on the TV

and only Wiimotes are available to play, which to me is pretty cool because it's just like, at least there's a fucking video game option here. Yeah. I'll get down,

but it's on like a plasma screen there's like eight seconds of delay it's pretty fun so much i walk up and uh i walk up to ludwig at some point in this party he's talking to doublelift and doublelift like asking him for like tips on his like youtube channel and i'm like this is a crazy interaction i just want to like third party this uh and then i walk away i'm like love it i'm gonna call an uber he's like all right he's like take my phone do whatever you want so first i tweeted tom br. I say, washed. Second, yeah. That's so hard.

Yeah. Did you delete that one? I didn't delete it. But the drafts were raunchy. I just wanted to say that. I wanted to say my idea was better. What was yours? Well.

Aiden wanted to use his bisexual privilege to say something much meaner. That was the drafts. That was in the drafts. And so, second. It would have hit. I pull up Uber. Ludwig has default, the black SUV Ubers. So, it was a $250 Uber home. So, I went to confirm to him, hey, do you want to do this?

It's only three of us. Like, do you want it? He's like, yeah, call it. Yeah, black. I like doing the nice ones. And I'm like, that's crazy. Our Uber, the rear view mirror was digital. It was a camera feed.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, I see those. Yeah. And I'm like, damn, this is really. I'm like, we're still scrunched up in this car. We are still up in this car you know we willingly scrunched because there was another i just like feeling ludwig's thighs on me um and so anyways i walk up i walk up and uh he's playing against uh i don't want to say some norwegian girl what was her name i like dropping some norwegian girl because it sounds cool no it sounds demeaning her her her name is like painfully norweg because it sounds cool. No, it sounds demeaning. Her name is like painfully Norwegian.

It's like Majeej or something like that. Oh, like her Christian name. Not like her tag. Her name was Meryl Streep. But she pronounces it like a Scandinavian, so it's always difficult to say. They're on Corneria, and Ludwig is playing Kirby, and she's playing Captain Falcon,

and Ludwig is camping the edge. Random characters, playing Captain Falcon and Ludwig is camping the edge. Random characters, random stages. And Ludwig is camping the edge absorbing her and then running off the stage and killing her and it's not even stocks.

It's a time battle. So Ludwig is doing this until the timer is over. Who are you? We're in a party on Wiimotes on a plasma TV against somebody

who's never played the game And he's playing Like it's chewed at First stock At fucking 2014 It's a two minute timer So you played honest

First stock I play honest I get it to like 100% I side B her It brings up the hammer It goes And then she flies off top And then I realize It's not stocks

Because I didn't like I didn't look And then it says Like minus one plus one And I'm like Oh this is dumb So then she comes down So now she has to suffer now Then she comes down I absorb her I walk off I didn't look. And then it says like minus one plus one. And I'm like, oh, this is dumb. So then she comes down. So now she has to suffer now.

Then she comes down. I absorb her. I walk off. She dies. And it's like, how do I punch? And every time, by the way,

you're like, fuck you, Newt. Every time, she's just like, she's like, what do I do? And Ludwig's laughing at her. She's like,

you suck. Oh my God, you're so bad. What I do is like, it's time. There's no way she can win. There's about 15 seconds left. So she's just dashing on the main part of corn area i'm on the right now she's scared and so then i say hey if you want to win you have to approach yeah he's

like you have to come to me the game's almost six five four and she's like screaming and running towards him and then he gets one more in uh-huh he gets one more just to plus four her plus three amazing amazing literally so worth and then she was like rematch and i said no you didn't give He gets one more jump off in. Just a plus four for her. How does it feel? Plus three. Amazing. Amazing. Literally so worth. And then she was like rematch and I said no. You didn't give her the one? Well to be fair the Uber was here

and then I look over at her and I'm like millionaire by the way. I literally looked at her and I said next year and then I walked away. It's literally how Ludwig and I met

because I wanted a money match and he diced me and then he like left and I'm like damn that dickhead wearing Tim's just fucking made my day so she's gonna go bald and be my manager soon okay i'll change it off change it off yeah also at that same party i've been hanging out with austin a lot this weekend and i love austin yeah i have a newfound love for him even though i liked him before uh just because i did an IRL stream. And I hate IRL streaming.

It's like uncomfortable. And it's a different skill that I don't have. And he's great because he's just always awesome. You know, he's always like just chatting and being cool. In the car, we were talking about how- You have a good personality to live stream with. Yeah, yeah. I think, well, best in the world.

Good personality to live stream. It's about grease. We were talking and he has a lot of grease. He's greasy. And like Will Neff, he's like a social lubricant. In the sense that you can like talk to them and it just like, it just slides. You just feel better. There's never any friction.

And Lutter was saying that Will Neff has so much grease that he has to spread it all around. Big greasy guy with all his greasy share. And he feels like. He's greasy like he's playing Splatoon. He's got to like get his grease everywhere. Yeah, yeah. He swims through his grease to get places. I saw him in the party

and he would actually walk around to people and he'd be like he'd be like tens and he'd be like doing this to him. Yeah. I love that shit.

And then he's like I don't care that he does it to other people. And then like 15 seconds later. But Austin is like when when he when someone enters his AOE

he just stands there with them until they leave and then he's back to being like he's still he gets summoned again. Yeah. They play they both play the same role in the game,

but they have different abilities. Can we talk about what HBox did? Well, hold up, hold up. So Austin... Wanton? Austin... You're IRL streaming. We're at the party.

Greased up. And I've been hanging out with him. So greased. The thing that's been bad, though, is that he is obsessed with doing a Trump impression. What? He does... Have you not heard it? It's a little late, I feel like. He doing a Trump impression. Oh, what? He does it. Have you not heard it?

It's a little late, I feel like. He does a Trump impression at least, I want to say, five times a day. You know what's funny? He didn't do, I talked to him a lot at the party. He didn't do shit around me at all. Yeah, well, probably.

Because I bet he was probably bringing his A game, and he did. He was very funny. Yeah, he kept a corrector on you, because if he doesn't, you're going to send like a tweet out. Yeah. You're talking about on the pod.

It's kind of like, a guy with a Trump impression is kind of like a guy who can do a Rubik's Cube. It's like a trump impression is like kind of like guy who can do a rubik's cube it's like okay you're one of the people who figured it out leave me alone i don't care this was so cool a long time ago the bad thing is i was drunk oh so you loved that so i started doing a trump and trump impressions are like a virus like when you start doing them you just like keep doing them because every time you do it you get better well the thing is when you're when you're when you are literally a homosexual man like

austin the the irony is baked in that you're doing the trump yeah with you it's too vague well that's what i told him because we were we did an irl stream and uh and there's a lot of people around he's doing the trump and i was like you make a little too much money and he's like yeah that's the gay privilege that's why i'm allowed to do this yeah he's like it's actually better being gay i was like oh you're so right uh but anyway yeah i i was uh i was explaining we had this bit going where i was like because we were talking about in particular the f slur and who was allowed to and not allowed to say it and i and he was like uh i i have this theory that if you're bisexual, you can say it once per fiscal quarter. Yeah.

And then Austin was like, yeah, that makes sense. But what if like if you suck a dick, you get one back? And I'm like, I've said that before. So he arrived at that independently. And then I was like, also, it doesn't roll over like minutes. Like you have to use it in the corner. Right. It's like a Twitch Prime.

Yeah. And then I said, and it's your responsibility as a full gay man to report this to the Bureau of Homosexuals to make sure that everything's on the up and up. So it was this very, he was right in line with how I see the world in terms of who can say what. You guys are the same. At some point after this conversation, I'm hanging out with Austin downstairs and he is presenting the theory to me. He is presenting it. He's like, listen. And there's like five people.

He's like, I'm gay. And he's like, he kind of got like an approval from each of them. He gets a head nod for everyone. It was crazy. And then he says this. And then he pulled a whiteboard out. Pulls out his long pointy metal rod.

Slaps it down. To wrap up last week also, our gay off, Austin came up to me because Austin had a gay friend when we were out at the club and his gay friend after asked if I was gay to Austin.

Oh, wow. Interesting. What did he say? Well, he answered on my behalf. The thing is, he had to ask about you. So it went... I guess you didn't have to ask about you.

It went from... At worst case from this story, it went from a shutout to you got one on the board. Yeah, it's like 99-1. It's 99-1. I love Aiden's confidence in this matchup. I gotta give it to him because he was so smooth with the dancer.

Yeah? Aiden? Yeah. Aiden's great. Aiden, you're...'re you're if anyone's grace it's him i would if i didn't know aiden every time i saw him at a party i'd be like please please please i need towards me i was i was thinking about this on the way here how uh you know people when people go to parties uh you know some people do people do some drugs here and there.

It's true. Drugs are at parties. It's a known fact. I know. I know. I'm sorry. It's true. It's so sad.

I know, bro. There's definitely cliche party drugs, right? Don't let this influence Garfield. Make those eyes bloodshot. He just writes sinner into your leg. Be hard. That would make this tattoo fucking rip just as world as a fuck it's in the it's in the black metal yeah lasagna so i was thinking about how yeah people like show up people have like uh we'll do a little little party drugs here and there uh typical stuff and uh i was thinking about last night everybody with their suits around what if you like the next time we go to something like this what if i just brought like

a gas can with me and i like huffed it but like while i was in a suit so like you know like somebody's doing like coke in the corner it's like talking to him and you're just like yeah so you just dude you just have silver on your nose you're like charlie getting like really casually into like huffing gas at parties but just still decked out in the same way or you're like turning the canned air can upside down and fucking inhaling it you guys want to whip it you're like yo you want to you want to do coke? You're like, nah, man. You pull out whippets. I'll make you a pup-a-chino and then we can do something.

Dude, the easy cheese actually has better air inside. It actually gets you more high. Bro, bro. Dude, there's like a... FaZe Banks tweeted today because Mike, the guy who's on Logan Paul's podcast, tweeted out like, gas prices are so high.

And then Banks replied, you're a millionaire. Next time you get gas, get an extra gallon and drink it. And I thought that was so fire. That rips. I thought that was so fire. Who did he say that to? Mike, I can't pronounce his last name. He's part of Logan Paul's podcast.

That's funny. Yeah, that is really funny. And I saw that and I immediately went to OpenSea. I bought an NFT. I was like, I'm on board. I'm on board. Fuck. I'm on board. He got me in.

Fuck. It's a monkey drinking gasoline. That's punk behavior, bro. That's punk behavior. Dude, imagine you started talking about that. I just imagine Stan just walking around just with a little Jankum jar. Guys, am I trying my Jankum? I want to laugh so hard at that, But I don't want to fuck the tattoo up

You like that one? That's why I try my jankum It's homemade Rochelle chipped in too Atra you want to hit this? Oh I got the dankum jankum Oh Stan I don't want your jankum dude You fucking jankum away from me

Oh man Squeak to that Squeak to that Squeak to that Atra You don't want to Huff fucking jank him away from me. Oh, man. Squeak to that. Squeak to that. Squeak to that, H-Rock. You don't want to help my jank him. Well, maybe you don't want to be my friend anymore either. I really want to touch on what H-Box did at this party.

Yeah, please. Well, two things. Two things. Two things. The first one is not this. The first one is he comes up to me and Anthony and he goes, Guys, guys, guys. Like there's a big – I imagine Smash related because he targets us uh he's like big announcement he's like dude check this out and he shows us a picture and he's like drake has cornrows it's a picture of drake with cornrows he's like dude drake got cornrows i mean i was i was i think

it was you'd be like yo putin declared war don't know. This was an insane interaction for me because I was like one social group over from you guys. So I look over. He came over to me first. I'm talking to somebody that I'm meeting for the first time. And the conversation is going. He stops our conversation to tell me that Drake has cornrows now. He's going group to group showing off. I saw the photo.

To be fair, the photo was – I was like, this is weird. This is a weird photo. Dude, here's what happened. He comes up. He comes up. And then I watch him walk over to you guys and do the exact same thing. What was your response? Was it like, oh, that's crazy?

I said, that makes me mildly uncomfortable. Yeah, so I didn't give it to him. I didn't give it to him. He comes over to me. He's like, dude. I'm like, what's crazy. I said that makes me mildly uncomfortable. Yeah, so I didn't give it to him. I didn't give it to him. He comes over to me. He's like, dude. I'm like, what's up? What's up? He's like, Drake has cornrows.

I look over to Anthony like, why did he just say that to me? I look back at him and it's a tweet. So I go, will you let me press like on it on your account? And then he ignores me and presses like himself. Yeah, we watch him do this. And then we all like laugh about it we just took away from him and then he walks away and slime catches him turning the phone and secretly unliking the tweet that's right and then walking away from us and he goes to be like

dude he unliked it yeah i was like what the fuck is your game dude i want to go check right now to make sure he doesn't have that tweet liked dude he doesn't i watched him do it unless he unless he was in the uber just like adm it and be like, you know what? And then he's like, you know what? I actually do like that. I want to like this on my own time.

What's the other thing Juan did? This part of the tattoo is kind of hurting me, bro. I'm not going to lie. Do you need me to take over? It's a little sweet. A lot of our patrons are, you know,

our viewership are like, you know, children that are stupid and worthless. Probably never had a tattoo. Yeah, yeah, fair enough. Why don't you describe what it's like?

So the way I always describe getting tattooed, I have a lot of them, is it feels like a cat scratching you where you have like a sunburn. Like that's usually how it feels. That's racist.

That's racist to cats? It's just two people that can't get sunburns. That's actually true. Oh, fair enough. What about all your black fans? That's the thing though is like I'm trying to represent

white people. This is part of white culture. What about all your black fans? Getting sunburned is white culture. Yeah, yeah. Along with being a podcaster in LA. Nick from the yard, a white icon. Disposable income is.

You have your thing, we have ours. Well, I'll let you end the bit here and I'll continue with the tattoo. Yeah, it kind of just feels bad, but there's certain parts that feel like oh you know what this just feels like my bones are vibrating yeah there's other parts where it's like ow bitch yeah bitch bicep i was like damn you son of a bitch stop what you're doing for me the areas that are like more fat usually hurt more i feel like i feel like there's more nerves that get they get fucked with i don't know the science you're you're sticking uh can i ask you an important question though like what what do you feel about Drake's cornrows? Drake's cornrows?

Yeah, how does it make you feel? I feel like Drake has a way of making everything seem like cultural appropriation. Drake has this thing where he'll release an album, and all of a sudden he's from Barbados. And it's like, who signed off on this? And then he met Skepta, and now he's a road man. And I'm like, are we all cool? I'm looking around, and everyone's bobbing their head to the music. And I'm like, all right, I guess we're cool.

So I'm like, it's like a ditto. He was a culture vulture, but then he kind of just became, like, a guy who wears costumes for Halloween of all cultures all the time. And he just did it enough that people got on board. Yeah, I guess we're accepting this. It's like Chet Hanks. Yeah. He's a way more successful black people got on board. Yeah, I guess we're accepting this. Do it enough. It's like Chet Hanks, yeah. He's a way more successful black Chet Hanks.

Yeah. Right. Chet Hanks being like the riffraff of actor's sons. No, he's an unsuccessful black Chet Hanks. Chet Hanks is the black Chet Hanks. Yeah.

Here's the other thing Juan did. Well, Juan, he... Oh, the other thing was he came up to our group and he goes, Aiden, can you get me a beer? The beer is equally distant from both of them. I can't believe... Dude. He goes, can you get me a beer? The beer is equally distant from both of them.

I can't believe, dude. He goes, can you get me a beer, Aiden? And Aiden goes, yeah. And goes and gets him a beer. And then Anthony leans over and he's baffled. He's baffled. And Anthony goes, did you just command Aiden to grab you a beer? And HBox looks over and goes, yeah, bro, PGR.

Yeah. Which to Brandon, let me explain this, also helps the viewers. PGR is the ranking of the Super Smash Bros. players in the world he at one point was number one in the world

so he was pulling he was pulling rank over Aiden on someone who if the PGR extended is probably like in like the 700s or something

if you know it's less egregious than this nope he asked me to open it and he didn't know where the bottle opener was. Oh,

so you didn't go get him a beer, but you came back with one. Yeah, the one that I opened. I had a beer. You took it, went to go open it. I still find this funny.

Maybe I got mine wrong. He still said the PGR thing. Because he said, go open this for me and that's still funny. Did he command you or did he ask you? Ooh,

he commanded. I don't remember. Anytime Adis doesn't know, he commanded. It's so funny because until you guys said anything about this, this interaction was totally normal for me. Yeah, that's the problem. We're like your girlfriends telling you that he's bad for you. He's bad for you and we shouldn't hang out.

He shouldn't talk to you like that. I love the one-ten. No. I had to do the same thing. They had like no bottle opener. So I was just opening it on furniture. That wasn't yours. Alex at one point I was like, hey, do you have

a bottle opener somewhere? And she's just like, I don't know. People been opening spoons. Yeah, your own brother. It is kind of like your bag of tricks where everyone has their one way to do it like mine. I just put it on a piece of wood and I yank. And then some people get another bottle and they do the opposite twist. The bottle, the lighter.

Some freaks do teeth. I love a teeth guy. I hate a teeth guy. I grew up in the rural woods. We had a lot of teeth guys. Teeth is like nail on chalkboards for me. I hate looking at it. Millionaires are crazy shit, dude.

I went up to the host of the house and I'm like, hey, do you guys have water here? And they're like, uh they're like looking around Like I don't know I think there's like an Empty Brita somewhere that you could like fill Wait this was at the party After the war show right No no this was there I was gonna say there was a water problem at both of these parties

I'm talking to Alex Botez I'm like do you guys have like water And she's like I don't know I think there's like a Brita maybe somewhere Like on a counter and I'm like do you guys have like water and she's like I don't know I think there's like a Brita maybe somewhere like on a counter and I'm like okay you live here that's weird anyway she's like we have gin that's clear I'm like maybe is there ice and she's like she's like looking for the

fridge I'm like you live here dude she can't they don't know where water is but she just made me a coffee that's so weird she made you a cappuccino I was watching that and I'm like they're just canadian bonding right now ask for a cappuccino yeah somebody else got a coffee and she's like you want one i was like yeah and she oh i forgot i totally forgot this because of this whole stands interaction i was just in this mode where i just

wanted to mess with people i don't want to be myself i want to be other people stands stand where do we start that's a great question who is stands well you know in one sentence he's a rising star so he won at the award show he won rising star streamer of the year so like the fast largest growing small streamer even though when i saw a friend of ours when i rip a valid stream like winning best amateur porn star yes if there were better amateur porn stars out there but you just won also makes more money than an amateur porn star yes if there were better amateur porn stars out there but you just won also makes more money than an amateur porn star unfortunately no i think so yeah i i know that everybody uh there are there are amateur porn star streamers there's also professional porn star streamers who

play the video games uh who have transitioned so the money must be better. So. To streaming games, not transitioned. So I will say, Stans, so he has, whenever I rip a Valorant stream, I will get more viewers than him. Dude, you're just wrong. You don't know numbers. I literally can see and interpret numbers. So at best, he gets more viewers than Stans. At worst, he cannot read. Which we think is true.

I just think he is bad at calculating averages because he probably looks at his peak and then goes... No, I don't. I literally have a fucking thing that says how many viewers I have on my stream. What's the number? 10-81. 10-81? Usually. Oh, he blows Stans out of the water. That's what I'm saying.

You haven't been paying attention. Unless Stans is playing Motorsport Manager, in which case they're equal. Either way, hold on. Just to return really quick. I'm messing with people. And I met someone. I'm forgetting their name right now. Tap L? Tap L. Tap L. Either way, hold on. Just to return really quick. I'm messing with people and I met someone, I'm forgetting their name right, Tap L?

Tap L. Yeah, yeah. Minecraft. Harvey. Super nice. Honestly, felt bad about fucking with him a little bit. But I was trying to say,

I was trying to say that I am stans to this person. And Alex Botez immediately chimed in and is like, he's not, he lives with Ludwig, he's not stans.

And I look over, I'm like, dude. And he is like, he's not, he lives with Ludwig, he's not Stans. And I look over, I'm like, dude. And he's like, kind of confused, like, what? Show me your badge.

That's Canadian honesty right there. No, it's Canadian narking. She's like, she's like melting into a puddle. I think I have every country. She's like melting into a puddle. She's like,

I'm so sorry, I couldn't do it. I'm too embarrassed. And I'm like, dude, and he's kind of like, are you fucking with me? I'm so confused.

And I'm like, I'm sorry, man. I was messing with you. I'm sorry. and he's kind of like are you fucking with me I'm so confused and I'm like I'm sorry man I'm always messing with you I'm sorry and then he kind of leaves I go to her I'm like what the fuck was that and she goes you don't understand she starts freaking out so you don't understand when I was a kid my dad used to make me play chess against older men and he would tell them I didn't know how to play and he'd be like she doesn't know how to move all the pieces and he'd make me beat them because he thought it was funny what did the horsey do and yeah what did the horsey do and then he made me beat that it was so traumatic i'm like calm down it's okay it's all right you don't have to you don't have to mess with the best of them anymore you know what the horsey does resurfaced childhood trauma she literally was like i was traumatized as a child you brought

that back out of me and i'm like i am so so sorry. That's class Nick. You were heard. If anyone did, it'd be Nick. What does that mean? You're a trauma bringer. Dude. I gotta be something. Hurt people hurt people, bro. That's right. True.

At the award show, I got sat down. I actually was going to be in the nosebleeds, but then QT moved me next to Ludwig, which was kind of cool. And it was only cool because I was next to Jerma the whole time. Oh my God. Let me tell you, I fucking love that guy. I love Jerma. I love Jerma.

When you guys hang out with other streamers, do you guys call each other by your fucking streamer names? Often. Because it's kind of fucking cringy. I know. Yeah. It is cringy. It is. You have to ask them, like, do you want to be called your name or your tag?

And usually it's like, ah, I don't care. Like, when I hang out with my homies, I'm not, not like calling them by their instagram names but it's fucking weird well it's different it's different it's so much related to your it's so related to your identity like uh like so anthony's online name is slime and when i met him but no that fits though i like that more than anthony so but that's the thing no that's good the fact that you can even have that most you really only call the people by their name when you like that more than their name that's good. That's good. The fact that you can even have that, you really only call the people by their name when you like that more than their name. That's kind of the people who stick with their thing. Also, oftentimes, you know their name online

more than their real name. You might not even know. Tycuno's name? Tycuno's real name. Nate. No. No, I don't know it. Bill.

I don't know. Take a stab. Tim. Chris. Close. Thomas. But nobody calls him Thomas or Tommy Boy. That is crazy.

Yeah, I didn't even know that. I think, yeah. Is that a reveal? No, it's like known. Hey, Sycuno heads. Hey, Leafs. He just added someone to it. That's right.

Their name. Doxed. Look out, Leafs. This guy's your next target. Leafs. Oh, yeah. I was next to Jerma. Yeah, Jerma.

We just start chopping it up. We're both. He's great he's old i'm old it was great he's older than you i know he's 36 he's got seniority and uh it was just awesome it was really nice to talk discussing walking cane options oh my god dude he was like germa's so funny because he he's very easy to talk to he he likes to run a bit i start writing bush at 9 11 on the coloring book because i know the camera's going to be on me and Ludwig, right? And it's true.

That's what I said. That's true. And so I'm holding it up. And Jerma just sees that I'm writing a message because we have those coloring books. And he's like, oh, but he didn't read it. And I'm holding it up. And then the camera shows on Ludwig.

We start dying laughing. Dude, that screenshot is so good. I know. Your reaction's perfect. Archie, you can bring this up. Ludwig's reaction is perfect too. There's a screenshot of them it looks like the oscars because it's very similar and just a screenshot from the show with like a

nice graphic overlay and then i tweeted it slime holding it's slime holding the bush did 9-11 coloring book and it's ludwig like pinching his nose like oh dude don't embarrass me in front of my white peers i was just laughing actually it's so Yeah. And then, and so I put it down and Jerm was like, wait, what does that say? You guys are fucking crazy. Yeah.

That is so fucking funny. And I'm like, thank you so much Jerm. I appreciate that. Jerm was great dude. He was good for him to sign off. He was so good. He was the only person I met

and I talked to him a little bit and he was like, I love everything that you guys are doing. And I was just like, no, don't say that to me. Stop. I'm like, I held his hand. i took his hand and i said germa

you don't understand you are the only person doing anything you have to understand that no one else is trying but you and it's so awesome please like me the first thing i said when i sat down he's like oh yeah i know who you are i watch the yard podcast and i'm like please yeah i was like no no you don't a lot of times it's like, because a lot of the people there, it's funny how nervous they actually are, which you don't really realize. I think that was a big underlying theme

through the whole event actually is that all of these people, literally every single one, it came up on the red carpet specifically, were nervous. Like nobody is actually that comfortable in this environment, which is funny

because they all do this shit all day every day. You forget. No they don't. They just do it alone live in their room. Yeah their medium

is in their room. So when there's like actual human energy buzzing around they're like oh fuck. It's in their room and they don't like push themselves

to do new things. But it's funny because I don't well it's just you wouldn't think of it because often what we think of celebrity is like someone who's comfortable doing that. Yeah yeah. But in this world it's not. You fundamentally different. You wouldn't think of it because often what we think of celebrity is like someone who's comfortable doing that.

Yeah, yeah. But in this world, it's not. You know, dipshit celebrity with no talent, you know, you put them in a big room. Dude, that Peepo video. Oh. I love that shit. Dude, that's so cute.

Did you get to watch that? There was a Peepo video. Oh, I just didn't remember it very well. There was a Peepo video. It was made by, I forget his name, a guy who made a lot of Peepo animations. It's me berating this Peepo. I'm like, I am not your friend.

I will never be your friend. They took clips from all these people's streams but then like animated it as if it was happening at the award show and they were talking to people who was a symbol for chat yeah who was walking around and like ludwig's berating him he's crying and then the next one is xuc consoling oh that's right yeah it's so cute like hey little buddy it's gonna be okay man x had a good time uh at the award show? Yeah. I hope. So let's dig into this. Really, really quick. Okay, please.

I'm sitting next to Michael Reeves. Michael Reeves. So the seating is Lily, Michael Reeves, Ludwig, me, Jerma, Jerma's girlfriend. And so I'm there. And that guy walks up who does the Battle Royale. He accepted. Ace you. No, no, no.

It wasn't Ace you. Yeah, it is. No, no, no. It was if someone. Was it Ace you accepted the Battle Royale? It was. It was. it wasn't yeah it is no no no it was if someone was it acu accepted the battle royale it was it was it was wearing that all black stuff yeah with glasses don't get don't get me lit michael reeves michael reeves does rip the greatest joke dude i i don't slime messages me the joke and they might have heard me laugh from the top story michael reeves said the funniest shit ever he leans over to ludwig yeah and he's like he looks like a school shooter if he could tap strafe

and and ludwig tells me that and i'm like i'm dying and i'm like and i lean over i'm dude that's so funny and then michael's like imagine him in the library and i'm like this guy's going dude michael's so's so fucking funny. Michael actually spent the entire award show, because to entertain streamers, they gave everyone Peppa Pig coloring books. Yes. And Michael spent the entire award show making a drawing that was at first good,

coloring in the lines, then he added Minecraft armor to his drawing. Jerma grabbed. We are running our own quiet, isolated bits. Jerma grabbed Kranz He's like son is orange This is only for me Me him and his girlfriend

Who are only people paying attention He's just doing this And I'm like I was like say inside the lines kiddo Where's the cat by the way Yeah it was great And not flavored Cheerios Was the snack

Unflavored? Yeah they were not honey nut. That's fucked up. Well, cholesterol. You know we got those. Like babies at a table. It's like white people don't have culture.

That's right. Yo, I love the seasoning on this shit. You got this Cheerios, you got school shooting. Spicy juice. Yeah, that's every February 18th is our national.

All part of a balanced breakfast. You got to celebrate your IRL KDR. Yeah. I got Clayboldios. I was really happy Tarek won best FPS streamer. Because I was like, he deserves it, right? Like, he's the man who deserves this. And he gets up.

He doesn't get up because he's not there who deserves this and he gets up or not, he doesn't get up because he's not there. The video is about to play and it's silent and I was just like, that guy won the major. Yeah.

That was you? Yeah. Okay, yeah. And I got like two laughs. It's like everybody in this fucking room doesn't know this man fucking saved

NA Counter-Strike. All you guys don't know about this man's accomplishments. No, he tried because he didn't end up saving it. He kept it alive for a few years. Mew2King was not there. There was a Smash category that he was not nominated for.

Why does he keep getting snuffed, bro? He doesn't stream Smash anymore. Yeah, what's he streaming these days? Kingdom Hearts. He was on that kick for a while. If I told you Mew2King was writing a book, how would that make you feel? I don't know how to read.

Easy. The average Mew2King was writing a book. How would that make you feel? I don't know how to read. Easy. The average Mew2King fan. So angry. Frustrated. Yeah, so I'll keep on the Smash one. Mango didn't come. That's right. Which was a big point of contention for QT.

She has been working on this event for a few months. And any time anyone would drop, like Schlatt backed out last second because he just had moved and stuff. She was like, oh no, Schlatt's not coming. Like little things would just kind of set her off. So one big point of stress was Mango not going. So I kind of took a responsibility.

I was like, I'll try to get him to come. I'm friends with Mango. Nothing. I'm throwing the fucking book at the guy. I'm like, I got him a custom keyboard made. And I sent him pics. And I'm like, you come, I give you this he's like he was like cool keyboard lmao and then and then i was like let's make a bet you don't have enough badges for that charizard bro and i kept going and i like i'd

pop in his chat and he just banned me because he didn't play league and i was like i can't do it and so eventually i just gave up he doesn't show he doesn't make a video either and he's supposed to make a video if you don't show up uh like like tommy and tarik had to uh and and so i'm i'm there in the in the foyer and huggerbox comes up to me and he's like yo ludwig i have an idea i want to run by you i'm like yeah what's up man he's like mango's not here he's probably gonna win if he wins what if i just go up like i have a ripper speech and like it's gonna be like such a good clip i'm gonna like i'm gonna say fuck nintendo and it's gonna be like such a big thing and i was like i'll get back to you don't do it unless i message you and then he says you're not gonna remember so i'm just gonna do it if you don't message me that's and i'm like i'm like okay which is i'm stealing that a dope

a dope option yeah i'm like that's crazy yeah because now the onus is on you to message no. Yeah. Okay, so he had told us about this at the party. He was like gassing up the speech he was going to make. He was gassing his speech. And in my head, I'm like, we've suffered some Juan speeches. I don't know if this is the event for it. That's what I was worried about.

I don't know if this is the event for it. So I ran it by Cutie. She was like, chill. I ran it by A-T So I ran it by Cutie. She was like, chill. I ran it by A-Truck, who's presenting the award. He was like, cool. And he goes up, and I'll say he knocked it out of the park. Yeah. Not memorable in any way, shape, or form in the grand scheme of the award show.

But I didn't think it was cringe. And that's arguably more important. But it wasn't. He kept it tight. He kept it nice. Yes. Because Ludwig told him to keep it tight. I don't know if he read it.

Because he wasn't answering My DMs when I said that I think he was like Seeing them And not reading them Just so high energy I even messaged IBDW I'm like tell him

Tell him Tell him Yeah Well Ludwig at least Made an attempt to be like Hey you know what How you feeling Great

Wrap her up I was personally disappointed Mango did not make it Because he lives so fucking close To where it happened I like couldn't believe He made a good tweet afterwards Yeah I saw what he said.

I respect it. You respect the no-show? Yeah, fuck yeah, that's tight. Award shows are not his beat. He is a Mango fan. He just doesn't know it yet. Yeah. You'll be off that music ink chase soon.

Award shows aren't his beat, and he just tweeted that he was socially anxious. I mean, he definitely could have done more just as a friend to be like, hey, I am not going to come and say all of what he said after before which is just handles everything uh cutie cutie's funny because she like she she just like me fr fr dude it's sad because the award show was a banger right it hit 385k concurrence which is like the most viewed thing bigger than anything me x or ms have ever done ever uh and and like

one of the largest events for for na streaming and and i go back home after the award show i'm like how you feel how you feel and she's like i feel nothing i'm like what and he told me that and i was like that's real that's real shit we're the same yeah we're the same real shit dude because because it's true i had this talk about in ludwig or in the car with ludwig and i'm like yeah i understand that because like some stuff doesn't go perfect you want it to go perfect you're mad that it didn't go the way you like envisioned it you're like you just don't care like you you have this dedication to craft ludwig was like i don't know i like being happy and i was

like i don't think i do it's like after after smash summit like when like me and anthony were working the same events we kind of like after the event over, you kind of walk over and you're just like, I mean, you want to play Melee or something? Yeah. I don't know, like, I don't feel full right now. Yeah, you just don't feel full. Are you like me? I get, like, a poised coitus glow. Oh, yeah? Yeah, after an achievement.

I wouldn't call it a glow. I think I feel a very large sense of, like, relief and, like like maybe accomplishment like the hardest project i ever worked on i it ended and then uh i was like i'm gonna go to dubai by myself and then that's what i and then and then to hide away from the world and that's how i handled that so i don't think i've ever like what i don't think i've ever watched a piece of content after smash something like after the event like unless it was

like oh reviewing it or whatever I don't think I've ever like when the event ends those are all dead to me I don't even remember sets that happen unless they

were like insane like yeah I don't think you I don't think you hang on to like sets or like moments it's more like this I think it's this collective pressure is just like

released because like now now everything has like that I've been watching all that money the fucking sleep on stream it's not that you can't no i've been watching i don't think i'm i was talking about mogul money oh yeah yeah i was watching that the other day i was like it's great i love this they should make this yeah me and me and uh loaded work time because we were walking down i parked in the la fitness and i was like they're gonna tow my car i gotta go get it they're walking down the street x X just flies by in a BMW.

And he's like, I was on stream over the year. It was so funny. It was just for us. It was just for his girlfriend. And then we started talking. And I was like, I will say, the XQC Soda Poppin and Sear episode. I know that name. Soda Poppin?

He wasn't there. A person I know. Do you watch him? Yeah. Well, he. Only becauseoda Poppin? He wasn't there. A person I know. Do you watch him? Yeah, well, yes. Well, he... Only because he plays... Oh, that's right. Okay, cool, cool.

Soda Poppin's a good magic set. I'll say it. I've met, like, at this point, I feel like most large streamers at least once. He is delightful. Yeah, he's great. He's probably one of my favorite people I've ever met in my life. I feel like I have a good taste in people.

Yeah. How do you feel about us, like, generally? Yeah, if you want to go through. You're a fucking monster. That's fair. You're a sweetheart. Thank you. I like you. I don't really... You're funny. Bald. Just say bald. I mean, I'm bald too. I'm part of a club. Don't fucking do that.

Fuck you and your full head of hair, both of you. Alright, I probably would have had a good thing if I said that. You seem really young though. How old do you think I am? I'd say like 27. Shit, really young. Bro, are you like 80? You're going to hate his age.

We were trying to guess his age. We kept whiffing. I'm 25. That's two years old. Aiden is 24. Okay. 31. 26.

Dude, I'm a monster because I tossed one Norwegian girl in brawl. You shouldn't say it that way. Add brawl faster. Your whole energy is just brawl. You made that too clippable. You said, I tossed one Norwegian girl.

I did. Dot, dot, dot in brawl. You should just say that faster so Radstad's the fucking only one. You know what? That might just be my streamer brain. After a while, when you have an out-of-context Twitter account,

you start farming. Speaking of, Nick Allen joined. This is the first podcast allen we have poached nick allen everyone came up to me at the party and was like i just i never saw this coming this is crazy yeah i didn't it is crazy it is crazy like imagine this from an outside perspective it is crazy yeah i keep remembering he came up to me and i've only when i met him and every time i've seen him he's been wearing a beanie and he came up and i was like when I met him, and every time I've seen him, he's been wearing a beanie. And he came up, and I was like, at first I didn't recognize him. And I was like, oh my god, what's up?

Hello. And then I was like, I didn't know you had hair. Dude, that's what it's like when I met you. Yeah, you always wore a beanie. Because you were a beanie guy for six months. Dude, Anthony, I once didn't wear a beanie in front of Anthony, and he said, I thought you had cancer. I did not say that. Yes, you did.

Really? Yeah, you were joking, but you did say that and I laughed. That's funny. He's like, why the fuck are you wearing a beanie

all the time? Fucking full head of hair. You fucking pissed me off. That was when I had hair and I was still mad. You're still mad about it because you knew it was gone. You get a couple years

where you know it's going. Yeah, but you hold on. You get a warning. You grow it out. You have your last hurrah. You take a lot of pictures. Wear hats. Nick Allen was walking around. I was so excited to see him

because this is the first time since he locked in the job that we're seeing him in person. I kept doing this thing whenever I saw him around. I would tell whoever was next to us that he's coming in to save our sinking ship. To save the company. Everything is going downhill. We like to save our sinking ship like to save the company that's

everything he's going down as like we like to get into the kitchen every week and burn twenty thousand dollars yeah i would do that to him like like no no no and like putting it out and like waving his finger we're in a circle it's me and atrioc talking it's like it i it's it's almost all for atrioc i'm like like yeah we uh yeah, we, uh, we do this big thing. I, I feel like old, like corporate fudge over here is going to ruin that part. We just like burn money in the house. Yeah. We, we can't just like buy overseas shit that we never see anymore.

So that's, uh, that's unfortunate. Yeah. I didn't recognize him. Jackie Chan statues are out as soon as this man comes in. I didn't recognize him. I literally didn't know what Nick Allen's human form looked like. I only had talked to him on Discord and stuff. He comes up to me, he's like,

hey, and he's like an older guy. I'm like, who's this adult? It's funny hearing you say that too because you're always the old joke guy, but then you're like, who's this fucking old guy? Between this guy and Jerma, right? You were outclassed.

I was a young buck. I was a thick bull. You have so many years left. Yeah, they go to you, they're like, 31? You got your whole life ahead of you. Yeah. Hitting with a Gary Vee? You're so young.

You're so young. Nick Allen, and he's like, Nick Allen. And I'm like, ah! And I hug him, and it was great. Dude, Jerma, oh my god. I fucking, are we allowed to say where he lives? Like, what state? Well, you can't say specifically the city.

He lives in Vegas. He lives in Vegas. Okay, that's known. Wait, what did you just say? You just said we can't say specifically the city. He lives in Vegas. He lives in Vegas. That's known. Wait, what did you just say? You just said we can't specifically say the city, and then immediately said the city. It's like saying you live in LA. You guys are dumb.

It's not that big of a city. He just said it stupid, and he's defending himself, which he shouldn't do. You guys are just dumb. Okay. No, you're... The problem with that state is you can't say it, because it's like if they live in that state,

they probably live in that city. No, you can live in Carson. Or Reno. Are we doxing him right now? Or Elko. Shout out to Elko. Let's just say all the cities he doesn't live in. So Jerma lives in Antarctica.

Anyway, Jerma lives in Vegas, and I'm talking to him. I was like, oh, my dad lived in Vegas. I've spent a lot of time there. He's like, oh yeah i love the lifestyle love the lifestyle i'm like okay that means he likes to gamble it's like all right germa how uh how down are you gambling and i was like but i didn't ask him that because it's always rude to ask unless you forfeit your number first right so i told him the number i'm down lifetime gambling you know know it? Roughly. I don't know it. Guess.

No, no, no. Don't guess. Take a stab. It'll be fun. Take a stab. You guess. What's your game? What do you play?

Poker and blackjack. Lifetime down? Yeah. You're probably in a different tax bracket than me. I'm going to just say 30K. You guys want to take a stab? Yeah, I would like to take a stab. I think you are down $150,000.

$110,000. I know. So, yeah, it's like, it's $100,000-ish. Okay. Right? So, you know, you get the prices right. I win the cookie. I win the cookie.

So, this is over a couple years, all right? A couple years? You guys don't know how it was. Bro, you said a couple years like that. Like, oh, it's better. You need to meet normal people. Sit around. Go to a bar.

No, you understand. No, no. He was like, he lost the majority of this before he had money. Before anyone had money. Before anyone had money. You have to understand. He slept in my closet for seven months. He paid rent in the house I lived in.

And he slept in my closet. And he was like this then. the house I lived in. He slept in my closet and he was like this then. So he could pay $200 a month living in LA. Big divorce dad energy, dude. Yeah, without the dad or the divorce. Yeah. By the way, I edited for False Swipe Gaming. A lot of people, if you watch False Swipe, how good was Cliff Fable in competitive Pokemon?

Really? I have a couple editing credits on those because I know Kellen and I'm like, hey, I need some bread because I've lost all of my really I have a couple editing credits on those because I know Kellen and I'm like hey I need some bread because I've lost all of my I have a zero balance right now because I lost everything gambling

this was back in the day yeah I owed Lodi 500 bucks yeah this was back in the three years ago don't pay me well it was back in the day

when he was like a broke streamer he would pay me in QP which he called quest points so basically I'd pay down my debt. I knew you were a monster. Yeah, I remember doing that. When you had to dye your hair.

You reinvented slavery on accident. Oh, labor. I have a great idea. I got a great idea. Just work for me, dude, for free. When he was saying, oh, dude,

I was just so sponsored. When you had to dye your hair, remember? I was like, he's like, do you want QP? And I'm like, yes, because I have a debt to my friend. He's like, all was, I was just, when you, when you had to dye your hair, remember I was like, he's like, do you want QP? And I'm like, yes,

because I have a debt to my friend. He's like, all right, I give you, I give you 50 QP. If you go get hair dye from Walgreens. This is when he was selling vapes to children. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So just a merchant of death and, and a slave owner. Okay. I was done. Say what it is.

Renter, renter, renting. He didn't own. A renter of a human. It was because I, he it is. Renter, renter, renting. He didn't own. A renter of a human dollar. It was because he owed me $500 and he couldn't pay it. And he wasn't comfortable being like, just write it off. Well, I would never do that.

Exactly. But you also weren't in a spot where you could pay it back. So I'm like, what if we just do this? And then this will be a better avenue. And then he opened a PowerPoint presentation about fucking quest points. So it's called QP. QP. You're like, how do I sleep at night?

I got to invent a way for you to pay me back. Then you get level ups. Dude, so I tell Jerma, I'm like, all right, how down are you lifetime? I'm down 100 grand. Jerma's like, he's like, oh, like I punch him in the stomach and he's like, Jesus. And I'm like,

oh, well, what about you? He's like, I don't know, like seven grand. And I'm like, ah,

little country mouse. Jerma runs a nice tight ship. He just does it for enjoyment, pleasure. He's not much of a, he's like, when you play, I'm like blackjack.

He's like, oh, fucking love blackjack. I love just like playing blackjack for like a couple hours. And'm like yeah me too i just fucking keep going back to the cage the slime literally the slime is going to vegas with slime and you're like you've been there for maybe six hours and you're like hey what's up you want to get food he's like yeah i'm down seven grand and you're like what do we've been here for like no

time and you're like yeah you're always chill you're always like yeah i'll be like i'm gonna bounce back. And I'm like, I believe you. And then we all go like to bed and we wake up. Slime never came home. We go down. He walks into the room at 8 a.m. And he's like, yeah, I came all the way back up.

I'm up 11K right now. And you go, dude, what? That's crazy. But he has like 50K in his hand because he's like, oh, yeah, no, I went down like 45. Yeah, yeah. And then I ran back. Yeah, and then. It's like net three.

And whether. So you like if he at some point he usually goes up and you're like, cool. All. And then, and then net three. And whether, so you like, if he, at some point he usually goes up and you're like, cool. All right, well we have four hours left in the trip. So he's got a victory.

And then he always leaves down fucking like six or seven grand or whatever. I'm the poster child for like how casinos get you. Yeah. I think I'm lifetime up. Lifetime up? No. For real. Yeah.

That's hype. I'm up like, I mean, it's not like big money, but I'm up like 10 K. That's great. I am not up? No. That's hype. I'm up like, I mean, it's not like big money. Up is up. I'm up like 10K. That's a lot. I am not up 10K.

This is a great corner right now. To Rolex. Fuck you and your fucking spreadsheet. This is going to be the most depressing podcast you've ever done. No, gambling's hype. Speaking of spreadsheet, I talked to Blaustoise at the party

and he has a spreadsheet for gambling because he goes like all the fucking time. They go to Vegas and like all the GTA guys and he's like, he's like, do you want to join the group? And I'm like, what?

He's like, we're trying to build a secret group. It's me, Leslie, and Ray. I'm like, okay. Names the group immediately.

I'm not in it. I'm a journalist. And then he goes, don't reveal your source. And this is like unprompted. Like he didn't have any preamble before this. And then he goes, don't, don't reveal your source. And this is like unprompted. Like he didn't have any preamble before this. And he's like, yeah,

it's called the empire building group. And I'm like, what do you mean? He's like, yeah, we go to Vegas together and then we try to build an empire. And it's just what they call going to Vegas and gambling every month. Okay.

Okay. Okay. It's just a big fun excuse. And the empire is actually this hole that just gets it deeper every trip. Did you know? It's reverse empire. When the count is minus 14, there's a.01% edge. And it's like, and we're going to take the casino for it.

Yeah. I love the idea of streamers just being dog shit at counting cards, but going, being millionaires and still losing. That sounds awesome. It's not even that, dude. The count was so good and I started shoving it in and I just didn't hit. And I'm like, yeah, because the edge is like a tiny little,

you know, Nick-sized penis. Well, it's so true. Like Nick Engling, right? So true, Bessie. Nah, he's actually got a hog. Probably you. All right. It's you.

Oh, I'm so in on this bit, dude. Dude, it is small. Damn, me too. It's like, oh, my relationships suck. Let's talk about stream of the year. No. No. How about we talk about how fucking in the middle of the theater,

Rich and Mia made out for what must have been half the show, dude. Yeah, that was weird. I thought it was a bit. Because for a good 15 minutes, I'm like, this is kind of funny. And then they made it. You thought it was funny for 15 minutes? No, because the fact that they've done it for 15 minutes is like the bit, right? It's like, oh damn. Aids watching for

15 minutes. They're really sticking this out. This is how it started. It's not a bit. My date, I hadn't seen this at all, and my date points down and she's like do you are they talking she's like ew are they talking or are they making out and i looked down well first she said is that mia malkova dude real quick aside lily and michael they're next to each other mia malkova goes up to to do that award right yeah another name i know yeah

yeah yeah are they their streamer? Sasha Gray. I mean, come on. Household name. Yeah. I feel like the applause was a little louder. I'm a man of culture. Also a streamer now. So I'm right next to them.

And Michael, he's like, Lily turns to Michael. They're actually so fucking cute. It's crazy. She's like, Michael, who's that? Who's that going up? That's really funny. I don't know. I don't know who that is i don't know who's that michael it was really really you know my guilty pleasure content is on youtube right now is i'll just watch shorts of the two of them interacting it's real shit i know it's like this is this is like what reality tv was to my

fucking parents this is i also i fucking confronted confronted Lily Pichu because Ludwig made me. Oh yeah, because I said Lily, people must say you have a fake voice. He thinks you have a fake voice. And then I pointed out to her. She turns over. She leans over. She's like, oh, so you think it's fake? And I'm like, I'm Anthony, by the way.

And then she goes on to say that she's harassed and bullied. No, she did not say that. No, she did. Not to me. Yeah, to me. Oh. Talk about it for like five minutes after about how so many people accused her of having a fake voice and she's been harassed over the years. That's insane.

Well, we had a delightful conversation. I was like, okay, I don't believe it's real. She's like, that's okay. And I'm like, but you as a human being in front of me right now are telling me that is real. And she's like, yes. I'm like, I believe you. And that was that. At the Envy House.

So it's me, Point Crow, and Point Crow's manager, Abby. We're all at a thing. And she sees me and Malkova. She's never met her. And she was like, should I go up to her and tell her she's really pretty? And I look around. That sounds like something that someone would want to hear. Yeah, sure.

And you're a girl. I'm like, go ahead. That sounds great. So she leaves to go tell her that information. And me point crow kind of like sit there and we're like staring each other like donned our heads like watching her talk to me i look back and i'm like do you feel an insane amount of like guilt surging through your body right now he's like yeah i don't think i can go over and talk to her i was like me either i was in middle school i was like i don't think i can i don't think i can go over and talk to i think i want to throw up right now

and i'm like i'm sure she is lovely and great. But now I'm repenting for my sins. And this is where we're all at. It was interviewing Sasha Gray. Surreal. You interviewed her? Yeah. Last night?

Yeah. I actually didn't realize she was there. It was, I don't know. It might have been recorded or maybe. No, it was live because people were talking about it. Yeah, it was live. And it was like, it was crazy. Because I was like, you crazy because i was like you i'm just look oh what about her what about what about her you know we're actually not that

different in age there's like a couple like two years older yeah that's what you have a lot in common i'm just saying i'm saying have you a lovely time we just like shoot your shot it was a really it was a really good interview but it was just i and during it i was like fine i was just in the zone but after i was like it is so crazy that she is here and then me at 16 and you know whatever it just goes through your head it just goes through your head what happened when you're 16 shit out of my dick just how she made videos big of yeah and i downloaded them you doubt I had to. You remember LimeWire? I actually have a theory about foot fetishes

and how they came to be. How old did you say you were? 31. So you had a dial-up internet when you were younger? Imagine you're a kid. You're jacking off. You're jacking off. You find a thumbnail

of a person uh boy or girl man female horse whatever you uh click download and it starts fucking five kilobytes per second you six if you're lucky you're you're you know you're fucking a young man you bust at ankle level because your internet sucks boom foot fetish dude that's Dude. That's crazy. I haven't tested this. I mean, it's a hypothesis. I'm working on it. I got to hire these scientists, but I think it's credible.

I think it holds water. I think it does hold water because we have all been eight seconds into a video that has been downloading for a half hour. Eight seconds? I mean, right? That's generous.

It's been downloaded for a half hour and you're like, I got shit to do. I got soccer practice. You know? Yeah. My mom's coming home. Yeah coming home yeah exactly you gotta get shit done yeah this is the family computer this is this is the generational gap between me and you i know amen you're blessed you don't even know how blessed you are yeah even another game was beaten his shit on a nintendo ds with wi-fi video streaming

well there's a different gap from even you and probably your fucking brothers. I don't want to think about that at all. What do you think happened? Think about your brothers beating their shit. Go on. Go on now. What's it like? No.

We like Fortnite. We like Fortnite. Fortnite, Fortnite, Fortnite. You know how many people jack off to Fortnite girl butts? I will say. How many? I mean, how many people jack off to fortnite girl butts oh i will say how many i mean so at least let's start there one at the very minimum i were the first time we were ever playing fortnite with i was playing with miles and we used to like queue it up like and we're just playing and he's just like making his character run forward and he's like god this girl just have like the absolute dump and i'm like yeah but it was like this solemn observation like it didn't need like he's not

into it but he's just like you have to look at it right yeah it's just factual i remember uh i don't know if you guys ever play mmos but there was always like you got made fun of your dude that played like a female character, a female blood elf or something. And then their response was always like, yeah, bro, because why would you want to look at a dude the whole time you're playing?

And it's like, damn, I guess I'm owned because now he thinks I'm gay and PK's bad. That was the classic. I ran a girl on Rootscape because I thought I'd get a boyfriend. And scam? Oh, that would have been tight. It turns out I can't flirt really well as a 13-year-old boy.

Dare I say you can't flirt well? And that's changed as you've grown up. The Ludwig Bumble coaching era. Even through the screen of a 13-year-old MMO, your personality shines through. And they're like, no. I think a lot of 13-year-olds would. Well, don't. Go on. You just stop there.

You're the money guy here. I think they... You think about your brother jerking off. I think I have to pee-pee-poof. You have to go? Wait. I want to get you on one thing. I'm an hour late.

An hour late? I'm like 40 late. You want to touch it? Get thing. I'm an hour late. An hour late? Almost. I'm like 40 late. You want to touch it? You want to get in on it? Get in on it? Yeah. Oh, that's hype. Oh, shit.

Yeah, I'll get in on it. Yeah, this is good. Don't worry. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. All right. It's actually fine. Ludwig's doing part of the tattoo, I guess.

Oh, well. Shut the fuck up. No, I won't say anything. Shut the fuck up. It fuck up it's gonna be fine well am I cool now can I be cool after this can you let the tattoo man do his job yeah he's got blood on him he's got blood on his sleeve is that a professional dude yeah let me handle this okay yeah all right all right pick this guy up yeah that guy you figure you're not blocking the PTZ? Hold on, hold on, hold on. Get over here. You're good. All right. Oh, dude, no.

So, is this guy, like, over here? No, hold on. Just, like, do the right leg. Just do the right leg. Move over here. Oh, please don't fuck it up. This looks good. Oh, this is needles.

You can't mess it up, dude. All right. Great, great. Which one are we going for here? We going for the big hat? All right. All right. This is crazy.

My tattoo is on the big hat. I'm going to go with the big hat. All right. All right. Oh, this is needles. Alright, great. Which one are we going for here? We're going for the big hat? This is crazy. My tattoo, he says. You did it so thick! It looks good. You're holding it fully wrong, but that's fine. You're holding it like a kid holds a crayon.

Yeah, that's what it is, dude. Don't do that. Get in there, dude. That's terrible. Tell me about your favorite time that you loved the world. The only thing making this even remotely better is your hand directly on my nutsack. It's really fucking getting in there and helping me feel secure. He's getting a handful. Oh my god, bro

Well done. Well done. Well done I don't love you can't fuck this up because look You could he could fuck it up that looks good part of you now, yeah, I love that, you know, I tattooed him He could fuck it up. That looks good part of you. Yeah, I love that. You know, I tattooed him Kind of kind of legit. Oh, it's like all right. What do I guess? Meeting this we ran kind of late, but they will fit it'll wrap up. He got to talk can i say you're talking to you can we have yen replaced actually the yan cast oh yeah cast no yeah you're gonna change right you don't want to do it this is the first time wugs ever bounced on a regular episode regular he's gonna go to a business i actually feel better now that he's gone and now that he's

gonna breathe now that he's gone i feel safe you guys, have you guys, this has been going around the past week. I didn't realize that this is like, this is like came from TikTok. It's like fucking Normie, Normie world conversation starter, but it's fucking intriguing to me. And do you think there are more wheels or doors in the world? Don't,

don't go. Oh, you look at it. He did such a bad job. Look at these. Look at these Look at these Oh yeah It's like a

It doesn't look great It's like an ABS system When your brakes Like stop you from skidding That's not good I mean to be fair It'll get better It'll get better

It looks like a skid mark In Underwood I don't want to be his pigskin It'll be fine dude More wheels or doors I Wheels 100% I don't...

Are we doing this thing? I feel like... I said wheels, too. Yeah, it's wheels. It's easy. It's wheels. Isn't a doorknob a wheel? That's the big argument.

What? Oh, that's new. That's new. Why is this an ontological argument now? It shouldn't go that way. Oh, Mr. fucking Dr. Mario isn't a doctor. You got dragged. No, no.

So many people came to defend me, and there's so many arguments on my side, too. Dude, fuck you. You got dragged. Dude, I got – Everyone was like, Nick's dog down. Hey, shut up. I got an entire paper written from a guy who wrote – I wrote a paper on this exact subject, and you are correct.

I also got that telling me, people, I was correct. My point is not that I'm right. My point is that I am not so wrong. It's not that absurd. Dr. Mario's a doctor. Done. Deal. Mario's a doctor. Done deal. What does he know? He did let a guy tattoo him.

Calm down. Okay, you're right. Dr. Mario, he went to school, he got his medical, it's all good. He has a PhD. So is Garfield.

He was trying to impress Peach. Yeah. And he went to school four years. He's in debt. I thought that shit was for Daisy. You know that shit was Peach didn't want that shit.

He's an OBGYN Yeah that's right Dr. Mario taking a look He's throwing those Chlamydia pills Getting his gloved hand Up there As someone who's had

Gonorrhea That is about the size Of the pill That they give you Oh he's got Dr. Mario Our boys right here I'll hear no Dr. Mario slander

We'll pick you two Do you play Who do you play in Smash Have we asked that question Smash Brothers Like who do you The video you too. Who do you play in Smash? Have we asked that question? Smash Brothers. The video game? Yeah.

What character do you choose? I'm not good at Smash. Okay, listen. When Smash came out for the Switch, I told myself I was going to practice and get good, and it didn't happen. I just don't have the brain for it. Who do you pick? Who are you drawn to?

I like Bowser Jr. and Villager. Okay. Wow. I like Bowser Jr. Those are some custom picks. That's a niche pick. I've won games, I feel like, because people don't know what the fuck's going on.

You know, like, who is this character? That's the only reason anyone wins. Okay. Yeah, in that game? Yeah. No one who plays that game likes it

or knows what's going on. I'm not having fun when I play it, man, to be honest. Yeah, you should play Melee. I've heard. You should get into the GameCube title. It's pretty raw. Wheels or doors? My real answer is when there's normie arguments about semantics in the world, my brain wants

to shut off and just never come back on. I don't even think it was the semantics. the intrigue was not from the semantics of it you threw something new into the mix that i've never heard that yeah that's i've never seen that point in the conversation ever because i think the fun of it was like the so many people confidently say doors out the gate and then it's like i feel like a doorknob can't be a wheel right because it doesn't even one Rotate 360 degrees it's not fast to transport. I don't I don't think I don't think I think the wheels doesn't necessarily need to be a transport object Think about China think about cars think about bikes. I was thinking about toys thinking about

Vehicles all the most vehicles will have four wheels. Some vehicles have four doors. Is a gear a wheel? Why are you doing this? You're making this a scenario. I do think that's an important question. That's what I'm saying. Don't encourage this. For example, if we're going to say that the wheels on rollerblades are wheels,

then we're already saying that. We're only talking about car wheels. It's an actual wheel. There's different types of wheels. But the wheels on rollerblades are just rubber circles. If you took your watch to a watchmaker and he was like, I've got to replace all these metal wheels, you'd be like, give me my fucking watch back.

No, that guy's hot. I do think words are very important. This is a good argument. It's just Dr. Mario. The wheel's a wheel. You know what a wheel is. When you see a wheel, you know it. Did you see? You know?

I sent you what a... So Sam in the Discord, my friend, he, med student, he's having a late night shift, but he doesn't have a lot to do because he's in the, I think the OB unit. So he's like basically waiting for somebody to give birth and he doesn't have anything to do until somebody gives birth. You better get to work then. Yeah. You know what I'm

saying? You need to, you need to drum up some activity in this, in this way. Hey, what do you ladies get it going? And he's just like, if anybody has any, he does this in my channel in the discord, by the way, I don't know why he's like, if anybody has any questions about, uh, you know, medical school or like the field right now that i can help answer for anybody that wants to go this route like uh just ask them in here and then somebody like the fifth question is like do you think dr mario is a doctor and then he's like as long as he over over prescribes oxycodone he's a real doctor in my book that's fine sam also uh what did he do he fucking i forgot i love that guy does everybody here stream you all stream on twitch youtube Sam also, what did he do? He fucking, I forgot.

I love that guy. Does everybody here stream? Do you all stream on Twitch, YouTube? I mean, like, not as a career. Yeah, just like sometimes we put up on, but I would say I maybe streamed maybe three times total last year. Okay. He has streamed a lot recently,

but more is he puts a t-shirt on his head and plays Valorant. Yeah, and I scream in beret. I know it sounds weird, but it's exactly what it sounds like. Okay. That's fair, I'm with it. And Aiden goes live maybe once every three times a year, and it's never the same thing. Put it this way. So it's homeboy.

Yeah, put it this way. He's a professional dancer, and we go out dancing sometimes. We need the cash. This is our main thing. This is the thing that we all do. Yeah, the podcast, yeah. Okay, cool. Which technically makes us YouTubers.

I don't like that. I mean, okay. I don't want to say that. It's a job. Well, the thing, I actually realized this. So, like, I think, by the way, I think we just go as long as we feel comfortable. Because we're still tattooing. What I was wondering is, like, if this just cuts into the primo.

Because we're still going to be going for a while, right? I mean, do you want to just do was wondering is like if this just cuts into the primo because we probably we're still gonna be going for a while, right? I mean, do you want to just do the primo? Do you want to go into the primo and just do it here? I think we should do it tomorrow. I think we should do the primo.

So we don't we just don't get to finish the tattoo in the episode. Why not? Well, how I'm down. We could just do a long episode. I'm just wondering

how we want it to cut up. I think we just go long episode. I think we just go long episode. Yeah, me too. Cool. no, we wanted to cut up. I think we just go to long episode. Let me just go along Yeah, cool. Okay, um Archie back back So one thing I realized was like at the streamer words was this was so many people when was the streamer word? Sorry, I didn't mean to cut last night. When did that happen last night? Oh shit. Okay, so it's fresh. Yeah

Extremely, how was it by the way? It was great. It was a really good... No, honestly. Yeah. It was a really good event. It's one of those events that could have gone terribly and didn't. Yeah. Our roommate, Ludwig's girlfriend, she goes by QD Online. Yeah, yeah. She organized the entire thing, and she was very stressed. Oh, that's why he won.

Well, that's a joke. Why didn't you just say that? You know, it's funny. We were in an Uber the night before. i feel like you have to make him not win if you run the award show right like just the thing is so he got voted fairly and she was worried about it yeah that's the thing here's the scoop here's the scoop all you fucking you worthless drones out there who fucking are getting mad on the internet here's the real scoop ludwig won because he made a video about it and he also just won in a

landslide in the voting system and it was a fucking pain in the ass once cutie figured that out she was like i'm going to get shit for this and it was like such a landslide that either you just say ludwig didn't get it yeah just pick somebody else which is weird or you just let it ride she was she was joking she literally joked about it when they closed it out she's like i voted for xqc like but but that there was truth in that and that she really she almost did not want him to win yeah loves to troll so if they if it's public knowledge that she runs the award show they would just vote for that full it's here's the thing there's there's trolling but he also uh was the so he so he did a thing called subathon uh last year which was he was live for an entire month without stopping and he became the most sub to

streamer on twitch of all time he had the highest sub count of all time so he reached a pretty high height so it makes sense that he won uh but it was funny that you mentioned the whole uh collusion thing because in his speech he went on stage and the first thing he said was like you wouldn't believe who i had to fuck to get here yeah and uh and that line came because we were driving home from the envy house in an uber and we're driving he's like he's not drunk but he's like got some alcohol on him he looks at me he's like i think i'm gonna win and i'm like you think so and he's like i think i'm gonna win and i don't know what to say and i'm like he's like here let me run something by you and he runs the worst speech ever by me and And I listen. I'm like, no, that's bad.

And I think for a second. I'm like, all right, you should go up and you should be like, you wouldn't believe who I had to fuck to get here. Okay. And he starts laughing. He's like, yeah, I'm going to say that. So that's it. That's a Nick.

I usually don't care to take the credit, but it was just funny that he ran it. Everyone laughed. I'm like, thank God. He told me we were Ubering. By the way, we Ubered because Ludwig got my car towed. Oh, we didn't even mention that yet. Yeah. So my car currently impounded because Ludwig parked it in a place where you could only park it for an hour.

Why do bad things keep happening to you? It happens. You'd be surprised. You're the sweetest person. It's part of being from Canada. Every story you tell is how you get shit on. I hate it. It makes me so sad.

There's highs highs he's a he's a he's a day one yard fan so sad and then and then he changes yeah into a charmelian that then you hear how hard we dice them up and you think it's pretty funny but we were ubering we were ubering together because of that and uh he was like so he was proud of that joke he was like he was telling me about in the car. Isn't this so fucking funny? Nick gave me. Yeah. Yeah.

He did the same thing to me. Which is crazy because I was in the car when you gave that to him just asleep. Yeah. So dude he was he was saying fuck what was I going to you always do this. You always steal you steal my energy from my eyeballs like a lizard. You took it from me. Yeah. Like a lizard.

You took my lizard energy. Tuck it out. Dude. So when Sierra was saying all the streamers blink sideways that it from me. Yeah, like a lizard person. You took my lizard energy. Tuck it out. Dude, so when Sierra was saying all the streamers blink sideways, that was really funny. Yeah, that was really funny. I like that guy now. I like that guy.

That guy has grown on me. He played in a bit real well. Also, insane fits. So we're... I was on the way here this morning and I was talking to the girl that I brought to the streamer awards and she was telling me this thing that I brought to the Streamer Awards.

And she was telling me this thing that had happened on Friday night with her and her friends. They went out to a bar. And in this bar, there's packed people, mostly an older crowd. But there's a group of these young guys who look like around 21 that are there. And this woman at the bar just looks just like looks up like looks over at like the group the rest of the bar and is like does anybody want any breast milk right now serve that shit up and round full round on me and and no one no one says anything during covid yeah the audacity yeah it's more of a pre-COVID activity, if you ask me.

I'm trying to do fucking belly button shots. Breastmilk out of the juicy, dude. And then she, like no one, takes her tit out and begins to squeeze and squirt breast milk across the bar like it's a gathering of the juggalos he's these three these three 21 year old boys are covered in breast milk no way they're they're i'm so jealousosing their fucking minds laughing. And her friend, her friend dead ass looks at my date and is like, she does this every weekend. Dude, I'm so jealous. How?

How do you do it every weekend? You'll never be the person in a group that has the worst story. You will have the best story every time for the rest of your fucking life. Dude, I think it's Cap. I think it's Cap. She does this every weekend because you can't always just have breast milk. Yes, you can. Yes, you can. Yeah, you can.

Totally. But once again, slime fails to understand female anatomy. If there's one thing I know, dude, it's breast milk. If you have any questions about breast milk. That's your two things. It's Garfield and breast milk. I know two things. They told me this with a rather underwhelming delivery they're bored of it and i

was like you know like you know how fucking insane this sounds right like every bit of this sounds like you fucking made it up while you were fucking high yeah and uh no this just all played out in a bar in los angeles on friday night man yeah i if If they got facial hair, it's like in their beard. Like a fucking milk mustache. Yeah. They need a splash zone sign. Can you imagine like your pants was like,

oh, did you pee your pants, dude? It's like, no, it's a woman's breast. No, it's like, sprayed her breast milk on me. Yeah, yeah. I peed my pants. Yeah.

Yeah. Can I just get my coffee and go? No cream. No cream. No cream, but don't leave room. Yeah, I've never had breast milk. You're dating someone and you broke edge. That is a good question. It's cruelty free.

Being vegan is about the ethics of it, but humans are consent. Can you swallow cum? Yeah, but that's not a food. Yeah. Breast milk is a... it but humans are consent yeah but that's not a food yeah you oh but isn't vegan just any animal product so you could presumably could we're animals consume we're animals like we're primates you know what i mean but it's breast milk's for us that's what i'm saying for the boys you're vegan out there in out there in the universe breast milk's for us. Breast milk is for the boys. Oh, BM? That shit's for the boys.

I'm trying to go full send on a pregnant mom. I feel like I can see him at the vegan offices arguing for his license back. No, breast milk is for us. Yeah. It's a schism. Can you imagine that woman? Maybe she has a posse of male friends and they're like is susan bringing her pump tonight yo what's up i'm frile yeah we got oat almond

breasts we got cashew like wait what was that third option oh almond yeah that shit's great yo what did you eat yesterday yo yo your breast milk is stinky you eat some garlic? Artisanal breast milk. No, dude. More savory? Are you a sweet or savory breast milk person? I was reading comments last week.

One of them was like, because we were talking about chiropractors, and a lot of people chimed in. Chiropractors, actually, they do a lot of schooling and like they're legit i was saying they weren't doctors cool sorry if mario's not a doctor chiropractors aren't fucking doctors on god that's what i'm saying and then and then so so they were there was this one guy in the comment section he was like honestly being a medical doctor in america is is lmao like so stupid and easy not in a real country like germany if you're in a country like germany it was a really insane comment what a take yeah it was like it was like i think you're the only

guy that thinks like this yeah because this is because like we live in a country where it's like uh like getting shot in the chest is like hello so yeah so it's weird that to say that doctors have it easier because you just like part of your life is just dealing with people with like who look like spongebob yeah and uh and i was like that's such an interesting take because uh because we're also talking about the idea of like you're a phd doctor but yeah they'll call you yeah it's interesting like a guy beating off in a in a sewer somewhere like you look at it and you're like this is crazy you're like that's crazy you do that and like, yeah. You don't look intelligent down there, but I do want to keep watching. Do you leave the sewer after? What do you do?

Do you ever do it in the sink? Hey, tattoo check. How we looking, boys? That shit looks fucking fire. That looks good. Hell yeah. Wait, do you guys jack off in the sink? No. Brandon asked if we jack off in the sink? No.

Brandon asked if we jack off in the sink. He jacks off into the toilet. Yeah, no, that's a smart move. You do that? Yeah, you just flush it. Okay, you guys are the same. Maturity. Grow up.

Thank you. Don't tell him to grow up. I'm not trying to... Oh, you think I want a fucking sock? God, did I ever tell you guys about the guy with the mirror? Yes. Okay. Yeah, you talked about that podcast yeah that was crazy that is the craziest person you've ever brought up to me

yeah maybe recap small recap just in case small recap hanging out my friend's house he uh he has this mirror in his room it's like a fucking standing floor mirror and there's these white streaks all going all over it and i'm so we're hanging out in his room it's first time i've been over his house and i was like what's all that you like spill milk and cereal on your mirror or something he's like and with the most casual casual tone he's like oh no i i beat off onto that and i'm like what and he's like i yeah well i i jerk off on my bed where you're sitting and then i stand up when i'm about to bust and i bust onto the onto that mirror and i'm like like, that's really gross, dude. And then he gets kind of self-conscious, like, really?

And then years, years later, he just sends me random, like, do you believe in Christ messages on Facebook. That all checks out. That's kind of where that ends up. Guilt. Yeah, he's thinking about the mirror. The mirror is him. But to be fair, if you jack off in the sink,

you're probably in front of a mirror as well. That's kind of fucking weird. A bathroom sink. Bathrooms have mirrors. But to be fair, if you jack off in the sink, you're probably in front of a mirror as well. That's kind of fucking weird. A bathroom sink. Bathrooms have mirrors, but... But a kitchen sink. Yeah. You jack off in the kitchen. I'm just saying.

I always personally, not as someone who's done this, I always imagined it to be the kitchen sink. You bust in the kitchen sink, you bust in real life. You jack off in the bathroom sink. They like that one. They like that one. What's up? If you're jacking off in the bathroom,

there's a mirror right in front of you make an eye contact yeah but the thing is like it's not busting onto you know what this guy was a prison

of his own cum inside a prison because the white streaks created bars and he saw himself trapped in his own lust he lived in

Superman's home but that shit was all cum no one said that no one has said that ever the forger's a solid dude all come. No one said that. No one has said that. Ever. The Forger's a solid dude.

So you're going to go climbing later. Is that cool with a tattoo? Can I go climbing? I didn't think about that at all. I don't give a shit. Do you have that fucking second skin to put on it or something?

The Saniderm. Oh shit. No Saniderm for you. I wear long pants when I climb. It'll be chill. Yeah? Yeah, it'll hurt. Just don't get Garfield. Don wear long pants when I climb. It'll be chill. Yeah? Yeah, it'll hurt. Just don't get Garfield.

Don't get him scuffed. He needs the lasagna. Lasagna. You know what I'm saying, dog? Yeah. My wife. My wife. Alrighty.

I had a buddy that jacked off in the trash can. Say that again? I had a homie that jacked off in the trash can. That's pretty... Why did he do that? Well, it's like toilet, but I guess more environmentally conscious. It wasn't like a single event. It's what he does. I'm trying to bust in the

trash can's butt. You know what I mean? The trussie. Yeah, the trussie. Ludwig, by the way, has a hole in his chest. He has pectus excavatum. It's like a Harry Potter thing. I have a small version of that. Yeah, I got a little cave. Oh, you got a chest hole?

Yeah. So we call it his chussy, his chest pussy. Yeah, he eats cereal out of it and shit? Yeah. We do like, we've seen people do like vodka shots out of his and stuff.

It's pretty tight. Yeah, we make fun of him all the time. Because he's heartless, dude. Just a chasm of emptiness. Yeah. Oh, you wouldn't believe. That's why he doesn't feel like we do. He doesn't feel like we do.

That's a really good point. Yeah, trauma happens in his life, and he's kind of just like, all right, when am I going live? Yeah. I don't know what to do about it. I don't want to judge him too harshly because I don't know him. Something happens to that man, and I'm worried. That's what we're trying to figure out. We talk about that all the time, and I'm glad he's not here because we can actually just discuss it.

I wish he was here so we can do some healing. No, you would think that would happen, but it doesn't. It doesn't happen. He won't heal with you. You stray further from God every time you try. It's like looking into the abyss. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You become a worse person by interacting every day. You're just a little worse. 100%. I feel like every time I try

to break through to him, I'm like, bro, just tell me what's going on. Have you ever watched Full Metal Alchemist? You know when they go to the void and that door opens up and there's that little faceless white guy there? I think that guy's inside

Ludwig. He's the guy that gives you your fucking alchemy powers. Yeah. I don't get the reference at all, but Zipper liked it a lot too, so this must be really hidden i could feel ludwig turning his daughter and dog into some kind of chimera i know that one and just being like it's science bro yeah no it's content look at the stream numbers it's my one out of ten it's my one out of ten yeah put her on stream put her get her on camera

it's pog tent is what he'd say when we were talking about the streamer awards earlier I was thinking about a conversation I had last night because I think going into this event and I was thinking

about when QT initially said she wanted to do this my expectation based on everything that QT's accomplished is that she's gonna

she's gonna do this like it'll be good it like anything she like puts her mind to I feel like she like the execution is usually can I ask what he's laughing about real quick?

What are you giggling about over here? My streamer name's Handsome. Well, the full one's Cutie Cinderella. That's a lot better. Mine's Handsome Prince. I'm cute handsome. Yeah, mine's Prince Charming. Handsome Prince Charming.

I'm glad Ludwig found someone. I'm glad he's happy we're happy too and uh i i figured this project like would come together kind of like the other thing she did where like it would be really good and people would talk about it but it would sort of have that like little scuffed edge to it in in in like a good way whereas like i think the roast didn't feel like it was on like like pure television it still felt like it was grounded in twitch yeah but then this whole event like was beyond my expectations in like every single way like it was so fucking amazing and she literally

took a concept that i think is so lame normally like and so corporatized and turn it into this really authentic and cool event that was fun to be at, fun to watch online, so well produced. And she could literally, she could quit streaming today now that she has this proof of concept. She could quit streaming today

and do this one event full time now. Don't tell her that. She fucking hates streaming, brother. You might just dead ass do it. She could do this. I think she actually changed something in the industry last night yeah i think that i think there hasn't been a streaming like a award show for streamers there has it's just has but they're really bad they're really bad

they're not like there's no care really put into them they're just kind of knockoffs of like actual cool things and this was a very unique thing big big money and like companies behind them that are very removed from the culture of the space so they wind up like the winners are always people you're like the one like how did they win why the fuck are those people nominated like it just doesn't make any sense so she her idea behind this project was hey i will plan as a streamer who knows all these people personally who is a way better feel for like how this all works and also get them to show up and can get them to show up i will host it instead oh for sure and she fucking she fucking did it and i think exceeded all expectations and it was it's kind of like i i think she got a little low-balled from

my understanding on like sponsorships and stuff this year yeah which is i guess kind of understandable first event that's very common it hasn't happened yet right but now that this dude now that sell big hey by the way almost hit 400k concurrence, was over 300k for almost the whole broadcast. Yeah, fucking, hey,

hey, Nestle. It was also really funny seeing like the, shoot me some fucking water bottle money. Seeing like the ad reads, like the first ad read

that she did for that like fucking shark, whatever, I don't care, we're not sponsored by them. She was like, it was like the most eloquent ad read

I have literally ever heard. I was like, oh my god god they are lucky that they are doing an ad be this good because the crowd's pumping up and cheering for him and shit and like all this stuff and then and then the rest of them as the show became more and more successful and like was going good and the viewers were high she's just like i don't fucking know there's some shit fucking vpn whatever and like move on i kept laughing during that one yeah what's so funny yeah wait me and germa every time there was a sponsor readout we started clapping really loud because we know what the fuck we know how that we know how that should be but that was the thing i don't i don't actually know i haven't talked to qd about this at all but i think they weren't actually getting the bag you

know no they weren't but that's the unfortunate but you got to be hyped about it next one you're gonna 100 yeah first one is like look at look at how popular this is the second one is when you fuck them yeah you fuck them is when you fuck them. Yeah, you fuck them good. Yeah, you fuck them real good, real nice. Well, back in BTS times, when we were there, it was like, what we found was that Ken would tell, so he would tell the talent at Smash Summit or something.

He's like, listen, these companies that, if we do a sponsored tweet and it gets gets, like, any sort of, like, traction, like, 50 likes or something. It's a big deal. It's a big deal, and the people there freak out, and they're like, oh my god, it was a huge success. So literally, like, just telling the fans, like, hey, I know it's fucking cringe, I know you hate doing this.

If you like and retweet that shit, it goes a fucking, your country mile. So just do it. Yeah, if you're sitting at home, especially for a game like Melee that's not getting a lot of sponsor bread typically, all you have to do is click like, and that goes a long way. And to counter this, to remain neutral, if you don't give a shit, block the brand.

Like that, you can also, you can act against the interest of the event that you don't want to support by for one, not watching it. You dumb ass piece of shit. We're weaponizing the viewers. I'm just saying it's like your eyeball and your click is literally your entire value. So if you withhold that, then they suffer. So figure it out.

That war. Stop complaining. That was my last battle with the last ultimate summit I worked on because people, some were, not very many people, but some people were complaining about how it was put together and why this was done this way, why this was done this way. And I was like, great, if you want to see change,

I trust that you will not be tuning in this weekend as your vote in opposition to the event being run this way. And then the dude is like, well, I'm still going to watch an ad. This is Deadass the Vine from fucking 2014. That guy who's just like, yo, fuck school. Yeah, I'm still gonna you know i'm still gonna watch an ad this is dead ass the vine from fucking 2014 that guy who's just like yo fuck school yeah i'm still go though yeah it's the same shit they're all weak as fuck yeah you that so if you ever wanted insight it's right it's actually that simple withhold what you have which is an eyeball and a finger vote with money man

um so yeah it was it's kind of interesting i was i was kind of worried coming up to it because cutie was like she made that tweet was like i was up for like eight hours doing seating arrangements yeah and in my head i'm like you i definitely feel that there is something more important to to focus on yeah there has to be i was worried about the production aspect that was like the biggest thing for me is when I thought about what could go wrong, what is most dependent, most heavily affects the success of the show is production.

And I hadn't heard her talk about production very much. So I was like... Well, when I heard it was the Jerma dollhouse crew, I was like... Yeah, I did have a lot of faith because of the team. Yeah, there's faith there. There's also like...

I don't know. Sometimes shit just goes wrong. But Jerma, apparently, the guy who runs that runs that operation that production he's like his really old friend i didn't know that really tight yeah that's dope and that's why when he went up um it was like germ was like freaking out he's like yeah best in the business and in my ear so i actually had an ear earpiece and i was talking to a td for like throws we all had a camera guy and a pa yeah and we had a td on our ear which was really good it was like for all the problems that they had and as far as like coordinating people coming to us for interviews it was uh it was really professional and the guys in

my ear and i'm like all right who's my td what's your name it's like it's like mission control yeah and if you want to ever yeah yeah they're literally called the chair i like when you call them the matrix i thought that was funny the matrix too if you ever want to if you're to ever... Yeah. Yeah. They're literally called The Chair. I like when you call them The Matrix. I thought that was funny. The Matrix. If you're a talent out there and you want to bond with whoever's running a production, ask who the TD is,

which stands for Technical Director. And they'll be like, okay, this guy knows what's up and he's our friend. Yeah. I do like... I was watching JHB do his interviews, right? And he couldn't...

He couldn't... And to be fair, I do think this is like a difficult skill to develop. He couldn't do his interviews right and he couldn't uh he couldn't and to be fair i do think this is like a difficult skill to develop he couldn't do the interviews and listen at the same time it's hard yeah and so he would like any time you could tell he would just stop mid-sentence like when he was interviewing somebody and then it's like oh sorry my favorite jhb ism from his interviews was he would ask a question but then he would react to their answer as if it went along with whatever the premise was no matter what they said so like for example he'd be like are you excited to be

here and they'd be like um like no not really or whatever and he'd be like yeah i'm excited too uh and and like because he had to say the next thing that he planned otherwise he couldn't riff like he was like in a he was so nervous he was was unable to riff. So he had one planned response. And no matter what they said, he just responded with it. I was watching. I'm like, this is actually maybe funnier than if he would have reacted. Yeah, you stay on rails, baby. Yeah, exactly.

This isn't a choose-your-own-adventure book. Stick to the script or I will. I watched and I was like, this shit, it's still endearing. I still enjoyed it. What, the awkward interviews? Yeah. JHB's interviews. Yeah, it's just a gimmick and it's like you can only run a gimmick for so long before, you know. I thought

I cannot believe, dude, I cannot believe Nim got on stage and then plugged his fucking Twitter. Okay, look, I'm not gonna start beef. Sigma, grind set. But I'm starting beef on the podcast. Yeah. I did not like when that guy was talking. Oh, really, I'm not going to start beef. Sigma, grind set. But I'm starting beef on the podcast. Yeah. I did not like when that guy was talking. Oh, really? I thought he was bad

at that shit. I thought he was bad too, but not in like a hostile way. I'm sure he's a great guy and fun to be around and a great creator, but I thought he sucked at that. And when he went up and he was like, I'm almost at 100k followers. So, I mean, there's 300,000 people. I was like, shut up. I was like, that's crazy. crazy shut up you're saying it was pretty cringe i know it's gonna

get sent to him i know it's good the whole thing's gonna happen that's okay nim you're great i'd love to meet you let's talk let's get coffee that's totally fine however i was mad i thought that was lame yeah that's okay we're gonna be different you know what i also that it it's completely made up for by the fact that how fucking funny he was the whole night but when Sear got on stage to read nominees and he mispronounced he buys name I'm like

that's the fucking goat yeah how about you pay respect you know how many more viewers he gets than everybody in this fucking room what's his name

Mungo I don't know dude I didn't know about Balloon World Championship that shit was tight oh my god that event had like

close to I think it had like the same viewership as the streamer awards. Have you heard about the balloon world world is it called

that's what's called balloon world. I don't I haven't seen shit ever. He's from Spain. Yeah. Yeah. So he started a

sport where it's just keeping a balloon up a helium balloon up in a room full of furniture but it's like a competitive sport that like it is internationally

competed in and he made this enormous event and i was watching it for the first time at the awards they showed footage i was like oh my god this is amazing it was so entertaining this is competitive yes can i ask you um like i know like maybe three streamers and you tell me if you know them in person if you think they're cool think about uh myth myth is yeah awesome awesome we love at our house for the super bowl he's a sweetheart he's super fun to be around um he seems cool he can he he oh he said this to me so we we found out because he said this on a stream like last week that he uh has able to successfully suck his own penis yeah he told us that yeah and then impressive

yeah it is impressive but i talked to him and i was like i he's like i can't do it anymore that's the thing i'm like is it better to have loved and lost yeah right dude it's like space jam and i was like not at all and i was like you're just too juicy now that's would you rather be born blind or slowly go blind that's right yeah to see the beauty of the world before it goes i just want to do it once uh yeah so he's awesome i also learned last night i was I had a film camera I was carrying around at the event, and he was like, oh shit, are you in the film? I recently got into film

photography. So we talked about it for a little bit, and I was like, you are now even more interesting to me than you were before. He's a really great guy. Once again, I found him through Elden Ring. So basically, if I get addicted to a game, I'll go on Twitch, browse the game I'm playing, see who's playing it.

He's terrible at it, but he had a good time. He had a good attitude about it. You know, if Ludwig was still on Twitch, he might have seen Ludwig. It's possible. Yeah. Ludwig streamed Elden Reed for five days straight. I think I've seen that dude before, but... Well, he was streaming Elden Reed for five days straight.

And then... I was playing for five days straight. We just missed it. Ships and knives. Ships and knives're like a you're a good insight because i feel like this is the reason variety streamers exist is because they want to capitalize on the people who are interested in the new game not who already know who they are i watch i watch hasan like that's the homie oh really oh yeah so the homie yeah uh that's bad that you saw hasan bash a child's head in with a brick and i'd be like i don't believe you i'd be like and i don't care it's fine yeah it's fine this is the new

leftist movement i bet that kid was a fucking capitalist pig yeah who's uh who's your next guy your next next uh streamer you like have you hung out with us on before yeah yeah i'd say we were all like good friends with us on hasan is jealous of us because we are a system that makes ludwig like be able to do the things he does he's like ludwig fucking just surrounds himself with like people that are more talented than him and i don't have that and it pisses me off yeah i agree with that statement i was talking to to him about that after the Stavros show a bit and he's like, yeah, I just got Will. Which I'll say, a hitter.

And then Will went and did his own career instead of helping me. Years ago, Hasan had some people on. I don't know who the fuck they were. But he introduced them as this person sells farts in a jar. Amaranth. We had her on our podcast.

Also a homie. And the other person was, I don't remember but I typed in chat just casually. I was like, man, you need some black friends. And I got timed out of chat for 24 hours. Get that ass banned. You know what? You're right

by the way It wasn't like a diss It was like an offer I'm like bro We can get you involved That made it even worse You don't have to hang out with people that sell farts in jars And they're like banned

I'll say look To come to Amaranth's defense Nothing against Hey listen If I could sell farts in a jars. Nothing against, dude. Hey, listen. You got to do what you got to do to live. If I could sell farts in a jar, I wouldn't be doing a fucking Garfield tattoo. Amaranth, who's making over a million dollars a month, also our friend. Very, very intelligent.

Very smart. Very funny. Super driven. Very great person. Also gets that shit fucking canned up and impressed at your door, American factory made. Like a goddamn. From farm to table. She owns the means of production, too. Here's the question. I'm a big fan of you. fucking canned up and impressed at your door american factory made like a goddamn from farm to table she owns the means of production too which is i i'm a big fan of is that is that vegan

oh are we are you eating it is that a vegan product you're huffing it come on our cigarettes are vegan huh you're not that's hard it's not it's not like when you go to knott's berry farm and get the gold in the little canister it's like you're popping it open you're seeing what's up jesus you know what we should have beat her to the punch you know she sent us jars no yeah so no they're not there yet but i uh i saw her at the streamer awards and i came out with like i was hey i gave her a hug and i was like uh how you doing she's like she immediately goes do you get your jars oh she's hype on it she's hype she'll get your jar and then she talks to her assistant did they get their jars and and she's like we sent them we sent them and i'm like look i'm patiently waiting for the jars i i don't know if i'm gonna open mine

i think i'm gonna keep it i pitch you something just real quick absolutely fucking unboxing we could do a jar on the podcast yeah open and you're just like like please i kind of please please please watermelon it makes the uh aim signing online noise it's like it's like uh i was wondering did you did slime meet uh morgan her manager last night no i didn't even get to say hi to amaranth she's excellent morgan morgan was super cool and she wanted to meet you because she was like he's he's like me. He understands. Abby,

who is point crows manager was the same way. Like we all, we all have this, like this shared connection of like being the, every Atlas of these people, every PA has a deep set trauma that, that, that they can only share with each other.

Yeah. Like there's some, there was some layer of that, that like Morgan just couldn't explain to me. That's right. I couldn't relate. And you know what? With Abby, I went up to her. She immediately, we was some layer of that that like Morgan just couldn't explain to me. That's right. That I couldn't relate to. And you know what, with Abby,

I went up to her, we immediately started talking and then we like, within five minutes, we're both swapping anecdotes about like how fucking stupid the person we work for is. And we're just like,

we're just like melting. Like, thank God someone sees me in this company. We were sharing, at the Envy house, we were sending, we were sharing screenshots of like,

oh my God, this is what Ludwig says. Yeah. And it's like, isn't this like not English? And they're like, oh wow,, this is what Ludwig says. Isn't this like not English? And they're like, oh, wow. Well, this is what Point Crow said to me. And we're like literally sharing it back and forth. And they're just there. And they're just like, guys.

We're like right here. No, it's like, shut the fuck up. We're making fun of you. Shut up. Point Crow, very funny. Point Crow's great. Super funny guy. Love that guy.

Eric, man. I'll even say it. I'll say Eric, the homie. Yeah. You're not Pointic man i'll even say it i'll say eric the homie yeah i'll get my first name anymore eric i'll say eric is better than point crow i think i don't think i want to call him point crow it is about it's a mouthful it's like a it's no slime yeah it's no slime right yeah clean yeah to the point i'll say my my card at this award show last night said envy on it um i think that's probably my fault. Oh, wait.

What's your streaming name? What name do you go by? Envy is what I used when I competed in Smash Bros., which a lot of people thought was because I liked the anime Fullmetal Alchemist. It has nothing to do with that, actually. It's my initials, Envy. How do you feel about anime in general? You said it with a little bit of distaste. You're saying the tag?

You said anime like a slur. It is a slur, and I think people who watch it are inherently bad people. Actually, you watch anime, right? Can you take a break from this for one moment? Can you play me in rock, paper, scissors? Yes. Okay. I'm just going to throw a rock, though.

Okay. I love that. That's the lovely show. You say I'm throwing a rock. Ready? Yeah. Lovely does it every time. Rock, paper, scissors.

So every single person in the world who watches anime uses scissors first. This is my theory, and I've been telling this to everyone. It's never failed ever. So I want you to know that I have, one, completely psychoanalyzed you, and two, was right about that. And I want you, in the rest of your life, I want you to carry that feeling and wonder, like, you know, what do I know? I'll forget this day

by tomorrow. You have become a data point. I have the memory of a goldfish dude. I'm not going to remember this at all. I'm glad you're recording

so I can like go back and visit. Are you jumping back in? You jumping back in? I want to keep the pressure on. I want to keep the pressure on.

Are you circumcised? Yeah. Let's go. So we're split down the middle. So they two aren't and we two are. I don't want to be the pressure on. Are you circumcised? Yeah. Let's go. So we're split down the middle. So they two aren't and we two are. I don't want to be rude, but you kind of got a dumpy, dude. Me? Yeah, you're kind of thick, dude.

I appreciate you saying that, but you got shattered yesterday. I saw you walk away and I was like, fuck. Like, for real? I'd love to watch you leave. On a Sunday, bro? I love that. You're coming back up. Caked up like that?

I had an ass off yesterday and I lost. Yeah, the ass off. You lost the ass off? I didn't get to watch the video yet. Pointe Curl's caked up. Dude, he popped his ass out and it was like two pumpings. Dude, like he knows how to pose and he had good pants. And I dead ass, when you said ass off, I was going to pull down my fucking pants.

I think you might reel the real ass off. You might win the real ass off. That's what I wanted to do. I don't know. Dude, his ass was crazy looking. You know what? I've seen your cheeks. I i've seen your cheeks i know what you're working with and i think it's beautiful and i think that i don't think that he can hold a candle to what you that's what i was thinking but then i was like damn there are strangers afoot this is assault

yeah you can't just do it you have my permission to show ass if you want do you want to see my i would love to see the ass actually fucking okay fucking, okay. Rate it one out of ten. Don't go full. I hate when you do this. Yan, close your eyes. Yan, close your eyes. You're not ready for this yet. It's not for you.

Oh. Oh, goddamn, brother. Do you shave your ass? No. He just has no body hair. That's the beauty. That's what he's just like all the time. Yes.

It was just sculpted. I can't grow hair on the back of my legs or my ass you have hair in the place i want hair you have no hair in the place i don't want it you're you're follicly blessed you're like the god of hair has come down and smiled well you know what my curse is you're unlikable no he has the same as you oh you're a chussy brother hit it oh yeah the little yeah yeah yeah. This is me. Well, the thing is,

just get it tattooed, bro. You'll look sick. Wait, do you have it tattooed? Can I see it? Yes. Yes, please. I'll lift your shirt. Oh, shit.

That is badass. You barely have a chussy. If he has it, he has it. Oh, shit. All right. Don't gatekeep. He just has pecs. That's the thing. Yeah.

He just has muscles to Exercise once get tattooed exercise It's actually one bench press in push-up. Just a lot of weight just do a really heavy weight one time. Yeah, that's great That's great. Oh fuck. We're just saying I'm gonna say fuck Yeah, but probably the nicest dude, but I've ever yes off appreciate that great But yeah, we're all fans at the house. You know what? And hair is a deal breaker.

So if he is like the nicest ass, but it's hairy. Oh, that's what I was going to say. So you know what, Poinkro? Oh, wait, maybe I can't leak this. What? I don't know if he announced it publicly. Maybe you'll know. And Archie, you can...

I'm good. Yeah, I'm honest. Did you get involved in Slime? I'm not confident. Didn't get involved. Slime wants to get involved. Slime will give it a crack. No. I didn't get involved. Slime wants to get involved. Slime will give it a crack. No.

I didn't ask. He said no. Oh, damn. Damn. So do you. That's how it be, actually. And no one asked you to get up. My fault.

You got to have some bald pride, I feel like, right? It's like you got to. No, no. Hey, lines are lines. I'm with it. I'm a rule follower. You are. Maybe if you're cheeked up, you get tattooed for blue jeans.

Dude, you laugh like an anime cringe villain. You don't think he's cheeked up? Oh, wait. This is a good reveal. Here's what I didn't tell you about. We're getting cheeked up. Oh, wow. Dude, this is what happens when we podcast to the two-hour mark, I guess.

It says Ludwig. You have the Ludwig tattoo. That's me. That's not a great tattoo, but a great butt. A great butt. I like the tattoo for what it's worth.

You know what? Your butt's nicer than I remember, honestly. He has a nice... It's because he's been working on it. It has a beard, which is sick. It's just tough, bro.

You're just like Bill Gates, but you live with Elon Musk. You know what I mean? I don't know what you're saying. You're like, I should be mad. You're just like Bill Gates, but you live with Elon Musk. You know what I mean? I don't know what you're saying. You're almost the richest man in the world. You just happen to live with me. You're Shaq. You're Shaq.

Okay. But he's just Kobe, bro. It's like what are you going to do? Shaq's a better person. Shaq's a better person. I guess so. And he's taller. Than Kobe?

No, I don't know Kobe. I was like, Kobe is... I hate to break it to you. What happened? You're not going to want to know about Drake's cornrows either. We got two pieces of news. They're going to fuck you up today. Did he retire?

I haven't seen him in like, it's been a year. It's been a while. Yeah. The eternal. I still think about the 60 point game. Hasn't done much since I guess. Yeah. But point, done much since, I guess. Yeah, but Poinkro is...

He's training to run a marathon inside of his bedroom. Is that a leak? He's running it in a circle. I didn't know about this. This is a thing. He copied this. This is a TikToker. This sounds awful.

Yeah, he's training. So he's probably kicked up right now heavy because he's doing all this training to be able to do it. I don't think he started his training. No, he did. Oh, did he? Yeah, he told me. Running doesn't kick you up.

Why not? Yeah, it does the opposite. You don't want to do cardio. Because you get very toned. He just looks like he works out, so I'd assume he was doing all sorts of training. He might, yeah. Here's the thing.

Did you ever see Arnold running? Schwarzenegger? Schwarzenegger running? No, what's he look weird? You're not allowed to say that last name. Come on, man. Arnold S. Raz Zatz, please.

He's not... You can't say vinegar. You can't say Arnold Schwarzenegger. There's a lot of words you can't say. That Bo Burnham bit where he's like, I say hey, you say ho.

He's like, Saul and Vin. Oh my God. Put the lights up. Put the lights up. Who said it? Who said it? I saw...

Who said that? The camera starts pointing around all the way. Those are our chips, dude. We got barbecue. We got barbecue. We got salt and vinegar. You get salt chips only.

Yeah. I'll take the salt ones. Salt and other ingredients, please. It's like I'll have flavor. Can I have flavor blasted? Is that part of my thing? I haven't stopped thinking about white culture since you got here. And I'm like trying to think like monster

You got monster energy Punching drywall Bob's Being the shadows and drywall Repairing drywall not our thing, but no no breaking the drywall is our thing skateboarding Ford f-150 Yeah for f-150s no skateboarding yeah ford f-150s what you can take skateboarding oh we get that you can take it yeah i'll give it to you all right we get you know when we earned skateboarding when the white guy in the video who ran with the skateboard like he was gonna start skateboarding and then keeps running forever that guy reclaimed skateboarding for white

people the day rodney mullen was born is when you got skateboarding yeah i feel like white people get the word marijuana rodney mullen went primo one time and they were just like that's the side of the skateboard you know what white people do there's a legal marijuana use since the beginning of time yeah yeah yeah you know you know it's called marijuana at this point cocaine too you know it's called marijuana why it's because they use the the the mexican word or sorry the spanish word of marijuana to like demonize it yeah it's called cannabis it cannabis. It's crazy. Who's, who's, why is that demon? The war on drugs? You're talking about

some Ronald Reagan shit? Yeah, he invented AIDS and Bush did 9-11. Right, right. That was what I was going to write on the other Peppa Pig thing, but I didn't get there.

Reagan did AIDS. Reagan did AIDS. He mainlined AIDS. But yeah, the idea, that one goes over less well. It's like why we called it the Spanish flu.

It's a way to otherize something that's like scary and bad. Also, the Spanish flu originated in the a way to otherize something that's scary and bad. Also, the Spanish flu originated in the US. Yeah. That's right. Dude, I hang out with Hasan. He loves running the, you're wearing a mask, you lib.

Yeah. Really? And he actually doesn't wear a mask. So it's like Uber's like, Uber arriving, wear a mask. And then his brother Murat throws on his mask. He's like, nice mask, liberal. He just bullies him. And then he just gets in the car.

Dude. Like out of his million dollar home. Tell you something about Hasan, bro. He's always complaining about something. He is a whiner and a coveter. I love him. He's a great guy. He is a great guy.

Every time I go up to him, it's like something's wrong. So, Hasan, what can I do to make it so that we can just hang out? He's probably just

always sore and creaky. I think discussing things you hate about stuff is a way to bond. It's like a bonding thing. Because, I mean, we all like blowjobs. We all like ice cream. It's boring, bro. Speak for yourself. This guy hates blowjobs.

I've never nutted from a blowjob because I'm cut. Have you? Look at me, bro. You want to get involved? I feel like I've got to put my hair up in a ponytail turn the lights off I can fix him that's why you shaved

you ain't never had the double handed fucking vacuum sealed I will serve you I'm trying to be like that thing that blows up the air mattress the first blowjob I ever had was terrible and I thought I didn't like blowjobs. Until the second one.

Well, that's usually the case, but I've lived my whole life, and I've just never been able to finish from it. And so I'm like, you know what? Maybe he wasn't doing a good job. We can skip that part. We should host the slime suck-a-thon. Dude. We line them up. It's like a kissing booth, but it's a sucking booth.

You have to get your COVID test first, and then you have to get your ID checked. Why would you test COVID and not STDs? Dude, no. It's the Slime Suckathon for Hope, and we raise money. And the longer I don't bust, the more money we raise. The stream ends when Slime busts.

Featuring Dr. Lupo. The Slime Suckathon for Hope for Ukraine featuring Dr. Lupo and Dr. K. On the stage at the end, you're just red in the face. You're so fucking tired. Dr. Lupo and Dr. K. On the stage at the end you're just red in the face. You're so fucking tired. Dr. Lupo, arm around your shoulder check in hand crying.

And someone sucks you to completion and they get one of those comical big checks and it's like 10k from the foundation. Oh man, I could fill up a measuring cup. Why? Because I'd be getting sucked for some. How big is the measuring cup?

Two cups. A measuring cup is two cups. Can you tell them that story you told me at Ramen? Yeah, I can do that. You know what? We should convert this to a primo because it's been so long. I think that's a good idea. Yeah, we could do primo.

Yeah. New viewers, what's happening it's been two hours they're all that i think cut go primo and you hit him with that sweet story no one's ever heard of from that sweet ramen shop all right hey guys thanks for watching the yard podcast look real quick real quick because we're in the main episode this tattoo is getting close to done but if you want to see what the finished product looks like, it'll be in the premium episode, which is on the Patreon. Also, shout out to Brandon at Brandoom. We'll put it on the screen. On Instagram, tattoo artist, Outer Limits Tattoo.

Thank you so much. Don't fucking bother him like you're funny because... Yeah, you're going to get so many DMs. I'm so sorry for that. I got a fucking email from a dude who wanted... Don't fucking bother him like you're funny Yeah you're gonna get so many DMs I'm so sorry for that I got a fucking email From a dude who wanted Wooper on a skateboard

No way I wanna know if that's Yeah that was one of the runners up I think I told someone this The other day when I was googling The image for this so I could draw it I googled Garfield in a big hat and the first fucking image search

was a reddit post about today and it blew my fucking mind I felt like boring matrix was whooper on a skateboard Eric? it must have been Eric I think Eric wanted to come get tattooed at the same time that's our friend he's chill

but what I'm saying is that tattoo artists use Instagram for actual life and work, so don't fucking be weird. Yeah, you're allowed to send a meme if you also get a tattoo. That's right. You can send whatever you want. I don't answer my DMs. He doesn't answer. Hey, amen. Shoot it over. Send me nudes.

All right, guys. If you have nudes to send, please send them to Brandon. Welcome to hell, brother. Alright guys If you have nudes to send Please send them to Brandon You're gonna get So many big ass balls Welcome to hell brother Hopefully you like Sonic's big cock Thank you so much

You're not gonna get The nudes that you want Thank you so much For watching Honestly I'm gonna be real Right now I'm not saying this As bait for the primo

It's starting to hurt Okay And so that will definitely Carry into my ability To perform In the primo And we'll see you guys In a week

While my wife Goodbye My wife Bye