The Yard - Ep. 38 - Why Dr. Disrespect HATES Ludwig...

Episode Date: March 30, 2022

What's up, gamers. This week the boys talk about Aiden and Ludwig's ski trip, Slime gets 0 kills in a Fortnite tournament, and Dr. Disrespect says some wild things to Ludwig on Twitter.

The European thing? He is the founder of Google. It's her sister's divorcee. And her sister's ex-husband. That's nepotism. Well, ex-n-husband. That's nepotism. Well, ex-nepotism. That's nepotism. Yeah, that's why

my joke is Sergei Brin. Well, it's just the name of the guy. Why don't you say Ser Long, Gay Bowser? Dude, that was fucking tight. Maybe I'm built for this. That was funny.

Maybe I really do have what it takes, boys. It was a Sarah Long gay Bowser. I like that joke. Thank God we're recording. Needed that. Needed that to pop off. Are we recording? Yeah, it's, you know,

it's just making sure. And then my other one was just this. Just a dog. And I'd say, are you wet yet? Oh, man. Please make at least five dog fucking jokes to Susan Wojcicki. Never. What?

Never. Coward? Love her too much. Not as much as her dog. Do you think dogs can differentiate Between like a dog's pussy And like a human's pussy 100% You're wondering if dogs can differentiate between pussy

Like I think If you're a white woman And a Rottweiler is going to town on you Right Okay And it's, and it's name is like Bruce. Right.

Okay. And Bruce is just, it's just nailing you like a fucking hound. Well, he is. Like a dog. As a hound. Like a hound.

Like a, as a hound. Cause he's a Rottweiler and a hound is a different, different type of dog. Different class. But he's, you know, he's going,

oh, and so do you think that bruce is like damn this is this hits different what is this i see yeah so you're not saying can do they know that it's not a dog you're saying do they have preference it's actually the first one the first one okay i have a piece you're wondering if they know they're fucking a human he's to throw in the ring here yeah that apparently like embedded in their dna dogs can understand humans pointing oh do you think it's embedded in their dna inside of a white woman's vagina yeah maybe the art maybe the article skipped that

yeah maybe they maybe the academics don't really maybe it's just banned info you know yeah that's what they found out in japan this is what the cia is hiding this is what the germans found out yeah and when we hired those scientists they hid the information that's area 52 it's just a dog that was like yo it's just it just has a it's it's just a dog bone logo next to it. It's actually standing dogs with big science suits in clipboards. And then women in cages. White women specifically. Oh, well. And the dogs are walking down the rows.

I have a way to get us out of this. What? Oh, wait, wait. I got it. Sound speed. That's the first time I've ever done it. Wow. It shows.

That collab was miserable. We need to get it out of the was miserable I sat and I broke another chair Oh that's right Nick is super fat I don't like the loose It was really good I sat in my chair I'm actually fucking really sad about it

You know what I'm sad Cause you broke your chair with your fat ass You're sad because you're really sad about it. You know what? I'm sad. Yeah, it's weird. Because you broke your chair with your fat ass. You're sad because you're a big horse of a man. Maybe don't engorge yourself on In-N-Out all the time. You're a big old horse with like huge...

The Clydesdale sits and goes, why did that happen? Putting sugar has done nothing. If you were an actual horse, you'd be shot dead. Why the long face, idiot? Yeah. And so you should know that run and tell that

and i wish and i wish you were this is dark it's not dark he fucking broke the chair with his big weird body if you were in in the lab the dogs would just be so mad at you the dogs would be you would i would say you'd be squirting your fucking eyes out yeah they would they would rock your world oh dude i had such a difference like no okay no on the dog fucking i had actually a really important question back for a moment i was thinking we bounced off i just i had a really important question but i forgot it was that all for a waste i tried to get us out oh yeah you broke the chair you also had something i felt bad and one step on you it's okay i can still get us out later i'll dig us out later i kind

of want to stay here for a while we'll go back to the women in cages. We'll go back to that. No, sorry. The dogs have clipboards. Someone's speaking sense now. Let's go back. Circle back. Dude, I lost it. I got it. I got it. You know what? I heard this great argument for veganism. Do you think it's okay to kill animals and eat them? Aiden? Do you think it's okay to fuck animals? It's more pain for the animal to kill it than to fuck it.

You've gotten checkmated just now. There's no more moves for you. You either have to be okay with fucking animals or okay with killing them for me. I have a question. If the metric is pain, they don't feel any pain because they die instantly. But they also live tortured lives. Wait, well, you're adding that.

Like a grass-fed chicken. Theoretically, you could call those farms unethical, but if another farm kills them instantly, then is that one an ethical? But I feel like if I'm a cow, right? Let's imagine. My name's one. But I feel like if you're like if I'm a cow. Right. OK. Imagine. Well OK.

My name's like Bruce. And then I have my friend cow like more of a cow. And his name's like Joe. And he's like fat and he breaks chairs. Actually it's called Nick. OK. And wait why would you call. What's up.

It's confusing for the story. I'm here. I don't think it's confusing. I think it lines up with one cow. My character. One cow. Nick. OK.

And I see you get your fucking shit chopped. Yep. Just, and your blood's pumping out, and I'm watching that. That's not what they do. That's not what they do. Do you think that's good for me, or do you think it's traumatizing? I think you're thinking about, damn, where's all the hay and all the grass? No, I'd be cut up.

I'd be like, no, my day one. No, dude, he's capping. And I remembered what I was going to talk about. We were talking about cum being inside from a dog. I remembered it. Listen, he is capping, and I wanted to bring this up. Every time I make fun of... This is a huge scoop.

Every time I make fun of Durs for being a fucking idiot. Every time. Durs will do this thing where he'll eat food and then he'll stare at the ground and then he'll be like He'll cover it. But there's nothing there. Because his body is telling him that he needs

to hide his food. And I'm like, there's no dirt. You're not pushing any dirt you fucking moron. Stupid animal. And he'll just be like and Ludwig will be like, dude, he doesn't know what he's doing. He doesn't know that he's doing that.

And then I'll be like, yes, he does. He's a cat. He knows he's a cat. And he's like, he doesn't know he's a cat. You know what's interesting about what Slime's saying is like, so he brought this up like a big point. I don't know what he's saying. No, no, listen, listen, listen.

I don't know. Shut the fuck up. Listen, so he says he doesn't know he's a cat, right? Yeah. Well, okay. But that's what Ludwig's saying.. I don't know. Shut the fuck up. Listen, so he says he doesn't know he's a cat, right? Yeah. Well, okay. But that's what Ludwig's saying. So you don't think the dogs know? The dogs...

This more has to do with how Ludwig views animals, because in order to defend Durs, who he loves, he said he's so fucking stupid that he doesn't know what a cat is, even though he's a cat. And he's saying, he's trying to bring this argument about cows one's fat and bulbous and disgusting and engorged named nick one's cringe named amen and has like one udder right it's all fucked up and wrinkled up i like that part one's a chad i have to slime the cow is it crazy this guy sucks at fortnite shut the fuck up okay but here's my argument,

is that you are trying to create this idea that like, oh, you watch your friend Cal get fucking electrocuted in the head, you'd be sad, but you don't even think Durz knows he's a cat. So what the fuck are you talking about? Dude, no one cares, plus you got zero kills today. This is slightly, slightly related. Stan streamed yesterday.

I don't know if you guys saw the Stan stream. Yeah, that was so out of the blue. It's like asking if I was up for Roseanne. He was asking. Set the 9am alarm for that. A new season of King of Kings just dropped, bro.

Bro, can't do this. Somebody watch this. That was for Slime Continue. Stan goes on, bro. It was IRL. Yeah, so no. Yo, you tuned into Frazier on Twitch. That's must-see TV. He was asking bystanders at, I think, like Venice.

I think it was Venice Beach. Yeah, it was Venice Beach for sure. He was showing them pictures of us and asking them if they thought we were cut or uncut. So weird I didn't know that was happening yeah and then i saw it later and then a clip got dropped i saw it live i didn't know it was gonna happen beforehand so interesting clip got dropped in the discord related to this and uh they ask like some guy uh if he thinks i'm cut or uncut and he's like cut and then stands asks him to explain and the photo they're using is one of me sitting next to ders and then the guy just goes into this spiel about how we all like some

furry pussy sometimes whoa insinuating that i like to fuck the cat and that's why i'm cut yeah that just doesn't follow that guy was like it doesn't it's like a delusional clip he's based but his logic makes no sense his name jason r that's sick dude so you fuck cats now that's sick you're the one in the bestiality corner here whoa you're crafting a whole argument about how you thought about how animals feel the the pulses of an orgasm I'm saying that I'm vegan now. I'm vegan. I'm saying you meat eaters better fuck them too. I don't know if I want to do this podcast anymore. You don't?

Why not, bro? You know pigs come hard. I do. I actually do know that. That's a fun fact. How'd you know that? Are you talking about quantity or speed? It's like one of those gross fun facts that like some... Come up to me.

Are you guys getting up? Come hard. No one can hear you. They're not going to hear you. You're still bad at Fortnite. Okay. Wow. He's like really bad.

You know what? I like the animal fucking vegan argument. Right. I think that's a good argument. Uh-huh. Just be clear. Just a cheetah just quivering. Yeah.

You're like, bestiality, better than eating meat, which you do. I love that sentence. I don't eat meat. You do. I have not eaten meat.

You know, I haven't really thought about this. He is the one arguing it. Yeah. Since I quit. When was that? Since when did you quit? I quit this

afternoon and how long will you make it how long will you make it what's up how long will you be vegan for fucking

it's indefinite right yeah forever right didn't you have sushi today that's the goal well pescatarian

oh you're not vegan so you would fuck the fish I'd fuck a fish I'd fuck a fish I only eat what I fuck it's a fish light that's tight yeah anyway welcome back to the yard yeah welcome to our oh we never did it

welcome to our goddamn terrible podcast what a late one this is the best episode you've ever had so far and i'm not kidding off the gate i want to know if you Ludwig remember shoplifting this weekend what you you shoplifted this no and you why are you saying it like that no I didn't don't why are you talking but I didn't I didn't you did shoplift this week what when what'd you take we went to that poor corner store in the middle of nowhere for poor people or was it or was that was a corner store for poor people? No. Or was it a corner store? It was a nice corner store in the middle of nowhere in New Hampshire. It was called Walgreens. It was not Walgreens. It was literally Walgreens.

It was not Walgreens. It was an unbranded store. It was an unbranded store in the middle of New Hampshire. Why is this so contested? We went to a little spot called Target. So you know when you go to Walgreens and you see a giant red sign out front? That wasn't there. It was Walgreens in Bethel

Maine and you're dumb. And it said something different on the store. It was Walgreens in Bethel Maine. You're just dumb. Well, why, why, here, back up. Hey, why is it so contested? Hey, get up. This feels like obvious information. This information probably doesn't matter. It also doesn't matter. You think he would be right about the store, but he

can't even remember the item he stole. Oh, we have, we have- we have something coming in. Info. You're fucking stupid. It was Walgreens in Bethel, Maine. The only big town outside of Newry, Maine. Are you calling them? We weren't even in Maine yet. Yes, we were!

Hey, do you remember a really fucking cringe guy and me coming in and then the clerk's like, Oh yeah. No way. No way. No way I'd go home for three. Dude, we were an hour into the drive. No answer Aiden's right for the hour into the drive. No answer. Aiden's right. You're talking about... Wait, what did I steal?

What did I steal? You stole deodorant. That was not an... You're so dumb. God, I hate you. This whole weekend, he's just been dumb, bro. You did have a whole ass weekend with him. He stole it.

You even said it in the car. You were like, oh, fuck. Hey, here's the thing about the podcast is that we need to tell this story eventually, so let's just get it going. I stole deodorant in Bethel, Maine from a Walgreens. Or maybe perhaps a different store. No, it was... Okay, so let's just get it gone i stole deodorant in bethel maine from a walgreens or maybe perhaps a different story no it was okay so here's the thing so we went me you remember me and aiden had a week together i was dead sober yeah of course i remember i fucking drove i put that in my pocket so i didn't steal it on purpose okay i we were we were we went we hung out all week we went to ski together with my friends from high school. First time I've gone skiing in eight years.

Long time. You still got it? This was last year. Aiden, tell them. He actually does. Amen. Hate that. I love that.

It was a thigh burner. But we go up and we fly to Boston, go to New Hampshire, see my mom, drive up to Maine. And we stop by and I got to get my face product. We get, like, ping pong balls, and I slipped deodorant in my pocket, and I spent $97, and I walked out, and I accidentally left the deodorant in the pocket. Like, it's not a felony. You didn't want to go over $100? This is what you fucking— You were like, this takes me over $100.

No, it was like I just left—I realized the moment I left the store, but I was like, I'm not going to go back in and be like, hey, sir, I almost stole this. Why not? I just wanted to see if you even remember shoplifting. I do remember. If it even mattered to you. No, because it's not shop. You're saying it's shoplifting like I did it intentionally. I think it's accidental shoplifting.

There we go. But the word is still there. Man, slaughter. They have a different word for it. You're so funny because you're like, yeah, I stole. I don't want to go back in and pay for it. What am I going to do? What am I going to do?

Go in and exchange money for products? Why would I do that? After I've already walked out. I've got too much money to do that. After I've left the door, which is like as much distance from being right in front of the door. It was far. And it was a Walgreens, too. So it's like a chain.

You know what I mean? They should get taken down a notch. What's the biggest thing you guys ever stolen that wasn't software? Oh, okay. That's a good distinction. I already know. i used to uh can we get a bleep on this archie i used to hit up the the uh when i was in high school what part are you bleeping uh the store oh yeah why uh and i i would steal art supplies constantly

oh that's expensive it's really expensive and i I just wanted to paint, and I couldn't afford to buy, like, one brush, a nice brush, a nice oil painting brush. It's like $70. They're really expensive. And then it's like, well, I need, like, ten more of these? The fuck? They do have good art supplies. I used to just hit a fucking lick. Yeah, I probably stole over a thousand

dollars. Bro, dude, I'm just, I'm having a I keep saying it, but want a slumdog millionaire flashback uh my in eighth grade this kid uh that he had a bunch of magic cards and he got heisted and it was my friend and his friend that fucking heisted and they broke into his locker and they took every rare out of his fucking death kept them at school yeah because they like played at school and stuff and it was the last day of school. Joyous time, right?

Everyone's so happy that this is the last day. It's the summer happening. This kid's crying in the open. And he's just going through his things. He stole all my rares. But the thing is, he's saying this to us. Who knows what happened?

My friend who stole them in his pocket is looking at him in the eyes and he's like dude that sucks dude that was fucked up psychopathic it was psychopathic you didn't say anything fuck no bro i'm fucking did you switzerland baby no i didn't care about magic i was bad at it so i never played all right that's like that one jay-z line where it's like i know guys who showed up to their to the funeral of the guy who i killed yeah like you know it's like hey you you unlocked a memory in me yeah uh so now i'm thinking about largest things that have been stolen from me and uh when i was when i

was in the eighth grade or no seventh grade when i was in seventh grade. I had saved like every dollar I had ever been given. And I had like a stack of money. It was like $800. That was like... When you're in seventh grade, it's like a lot of fucking money. $800? Why did you save it all? What were you saving up for?

I just wanted to buy something eventually. What do you mean saved up, bro? I had $800 in seventh grade just in my bedroom. And I had it in like a jar. And my mom didn't like that I kept it, like, out in the open like that. So she put it in my – without telling me, she put it in my wallet, which was also in my room. And I owed my friend Jake money. I, like, lost a bet to him or, like, something, like, something stupid.

So I brought my wallet to school. I didn't look, like, inside of it. I should have realized because it was, like, you know, much fatter than it normally is. Cause like it wasn't all hundreds. It was like twenties and shit. Um, so I go to school and I put it in my back pocket and at some point it fell out and it never got reported. And it's someone definitely found it.

And okay. Take $800. So you didn't, you didn't steal anything. You just got, no, I'm saying a time I got stolen from, from me.

Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Or someone literally swiped it from like, you know how behind your seat there's like the opening in school and it's like they can see your ass right like they hit a lick whatever it was uh i cried fucking so hard i was so sad that's a payday and i got picked up from school early because i was so sad and i was like damn bro i lost it all remember his pickpocketing phase yeah i could have pickpocketed

you when you were young. No shot. Pickpocket the shit out of you. No shot. We were on the train in Italy, and you were like, let me try to get you. I didn't try, bro. You had some good lift. You did.

He actually got me. He took my phone. I bump into Aiden, and then I come out with a phone, and then later he's like, where's my phone? He's walking fucking 20 meters ahead of us fucking because he's an asshole, but then he realizes his phone's gone. We should all carry a little coin, but then he realizes his phone's gone. We should all carry a little coin, and we have an agreement with each other.

If you can pickpocket someone's coin from them, they lose. I actually like that. They lose some bet. As hard as you can. They lose some sort of shake stakes. Just an indefinite thing. And then you just get one slap across the face. You guys spent a whole fucking romantic-ass weekend, week together, and all you fucking, you come back with a fucking, I actually stole the orange.

The fuck is that shit? No, that was what he popped in with. Are you kidding me? There was a lot more than that. I just wanted to ask him if you remember. I want to know the best part of the trip, the middle part of the trip, and the worst part of the trip. Best part for Aiden was me. I was a treat the whole weekend.

Was he a delight? I was nonstop all weekend, just in his ear. Making jokes? Just chirping left and right. Look at how smitten he is. He just hates when Ludwig's right. Non-stop. He's just so charming.

We landed at LAX. We walk off the plane. I'm like, one sec. I gotta go pee. And he did versions of this the entire week. But in public places, he would point a finger to me and be like, Hey, that's,

that's Aiden from the yard right there. Just, just in a public place. And then we get off. I'm like, I gotta go pee. He's like, Oh,

Aiden from the yard. He's a piss boy right now. This guy's gotta go pee. I like it now. Here I am. And we keep walking. There's a guy right in front of us with no headphones on. Yeah.

He's just had no piss down over there. Like he's doing it. Dude, like a guy right in front of us with no headphones on. Yeah, he's just heading all pissed down over there. Like, he's doing it. A lot of people can hear us. I like that. And he did versions of that the entire week in public places. Yeah, on the plane. He'd be like, I got to work. He'd be like, this guy never has a day off.

And I'd turn back. Dude, you're just becoming me. Are you bored? I slid my phone over to him on the plane. And then he. Okay, we're sitting next to each other with two of us and i'm i'm like settling in and he's just doing his thing he's being goofy ludwig the whole weekend this is are you off a gummy six days straight or sometimes but mostly funny ludwig where he's just he just trying to make me laugh every minute of the trip. Sometimes it's really funny,

but sometimes it's really fucking annoying. And the lady comes over to ask us if we want a drink or a snack before we take off. And as she is walking down from the front of the plane to get to us ludwig's like take a look at this he slides his phone over to me butter side down i tap it twice and he's like you gotta take a peek and she leans over to like ask me what drink i want as i pick up the phone and it's just

homer simpson with a giant cock out. Pink frosted donut around his cock. I just melt. I don't know if she saw it. I just flip it back over and I'm like, this water's fine. You know what? He got it from me.

He rides business and first class and shit, so he'll always be on the plane before us I'm I'm boarding the plane this was when when did we fly last year ago bro it wasn't here I couldn't even remember it was uh it was it was London and it was I think we were boarding and I'm walking past him and because he's already sat down and I have ready and loaded up like a picture of a really big old like a fat old guy with like a huge drippy cock. And it's just on my phone like Safari. Right.

I typed that in to find it. Right. And I just have it. Drippy cock. And then I walk by Ludwig. He's like looking at his phone. I'm like, hey, check this out. He's like, huh?

And it's just boom right in his face, you know. And then I just keep walking, hit and run. Easy. Yeah. God is that. I sit down and i forget about it and then i open up my phone while we're like about to take off to get last little drip of internet she blows and uh and boom hello and there's a person right next to me and i'm like jesus christ so so it just really is

a circle it's it's dark souls i went through the whole weekend where i would i was like okay there's aiden and then also my friend reed who are very easy laughers and so every social interaction i was like gotta make one of them laugh and every word i did was that but he can't it became problematic because i started to develop like a tick where like turning to you and we were gone any song any song that would play i would do the aiden's cringe but like a lot of songs are playing because dj on the beat zach was switching it so probably like a hundred songs have gone through and it got to the point where like these guys from high school were like dude like like it's every time i don't know it's like i was like i would have to like

mumble it to myself because i'd be thinking it because it just became automatic like no matter what the song is. Yeah, and he would also be doing the weed thing where he just replaces lyrics with smoking weed. Uh-huh.

But the entire, the entire weekend. Yeah. What happened? Why did you become so different? It's because I didn't have stream. Stream is like my outlet so I didn't have it

so I was just, I was all pent up and I was just bottled up. Just fucking giving it to aiden on fucking week baby just i was i was just giving it to him all week dude god i was beating his dick yeah you're fucking wild i was just cuddling on him and he's just some southern bell just some white woman down south at the airport when we left like it it started from the moment we got dropped off by the parking shuttle from the moment we got back right early 6 a.m we were walking we were walking um from one terminal to another because they we went to the correct one on paper but they were like yeah this flights out

of this one today so we were walking down the street and he just starts reciting uh uk drill lyrics that he's made up and he's just like trying he's he's rapping in the drill accent and and just coming up with like one-liners and this keeps going really quick for anyone who didn't watch last week's episode the intro video on youtube to last week's episode is ludwig doing this yeah aiden just sent that raw to our group and what i literally wrote in our private group chat was this is the funniest you've ever been. Yeah. Ludwig has peaked.

I came up with that 5 a.m. raw. That was like my third draft. He kept making them up. That was just one of many examples. This is over the course of two days. It was all UK rap, and it would all be about how British people, I don't even know how I got to this, but we were like, yeah, British people fucking drink hot cum.

Well, yeah. And then I just do the accent and be like, frothing, just frothing cum. Just a good old cup of frothing cum. I'm fucking Liverpool-like, just drinking cum. I mean, just a sport cum, a bit of milk in there, yeah. A bit of cream. This cum's proper snide, huh?

Proper, proper cum. Imagine him talking about fride that while we're walking down the sidewalk is at lax but people are walking by us yeah people they can so many people can hear all of these things the entire time he aiden's the perfect guy for this because i do the same thing with him right aiden is like he's like locked in here with you right when he's it's just you and him I'm the opposite of Rorschach but if it's like me and Ludwig that's like a ping pong

if we're doing that because it's weird I always see you as like whenever you're off stream you're like oh usually busy you're shut off right because you already dumped all your your joke cum right into the bucket. It does get sucked out of me. Too much cum

so far. So much. All right, fine. We can pump it up. You dump all your joke juice. There you go. Your hot, creamy joke juice. Yeah, your sunny sea. My hot, frothy joke juice. And your just ropes of this shit. Stored, just

roping everywhere with my juice. Like a pre-chum. You got a lot of miles out of ropes of this shit. Stored, just roping everywhere with my juice. Like a pre-chum. He got a lot of miles out of dog ropes this weekend. This is a return to form. But what I'm saying is, I notice this when we do travel, you're way funnier. Because, yeah, you don't have the fucking valve. I don't have the stream. I came back today nonstop.

I'm up at 9 a.m. I've been doing shit. It's like six now fucking responding it turns off it turns out in the building it's working no circumstances too we were at the first night we got there we didn't go to maine right away we went to go get dinner with uh your mom and family friends paloma please and uh paloma and we're at dinner and uh ludwig at the head of the table you know's got one of his closest friends. Jake?

Jake, yeah. And Jake's parents are there. A couple other people are there. Boobies flying around. Everybody's hanging out. Got dicks and butts. That got you. And the streamer mode never turns off.

We're at the end of dinner the waitress is coming up picking up shit and he looks at the whole table and most of this table has to be over the age of fucking 55 60 and he's like fucking any dessert daniels tonight any dessert daniels that translates i love that they'll get that yeah where my dessert daniel's at yeah and it's just things like that always and it doesn't matter who the person he like he is speaking to yeah it will always be that mode no matter what i was just diffusing though because they were they were talking politics for a moment i was like hey let's go brandon and biden am i right fellas old people love that one what did they say they're they just laughed it's not a response funny you can say things that people can't respond

to yeah that's true but some people are so like mad that they'll be like oh i mean yeah it'll be all weird about it yeah okay i think that this is the funniest thing to me that he did that he did all weekend and we would have so we were sleeping in the same king bed at the place we were staying in love and there would be these every night there would be these moments of like sleeping in the same king bed at the place we were staying in. Love that. And there would be these, every night, there would be these moments of, like, laying in the dark. And, like, Ludwig would just start cracking them. Like, he would just start saying shit. And I— Everybody knows it's funnier when you're about to fall asleep.

And you're sleeping with a friend, bunk beds or whatever. And one night, he hops on his phone. And I guess you're just really— Forgot about that. You're just really— I forgot're just really you must be really fucking bored because he hops into like the browse um section on twitter and you know how they added spaces like the clubhouse i saw you join and you can join like random spaces of people you don't follow if you go to the browse section and these things

don't have a lot of people in them well there was there was one that was like moaners got talent that was just like thing early on in competitions yeah awesome yeah so he's he's hopping in these and immediately requesting speaker access and he gets it every time i'm verified because he's verified and has a million followers they just give it to me so they just give it out like he hops in the first one he hops in he's in one called what is wifey material to you and it's just instant speaker for that one instant speaker and that's so insane and the last one he goes into is called one piece of doffy versus jack which i assume is a loofy typo and no no it's a character okay okay doffy versus jack, which I assume is a Luffy typo. No, no, it's a character. Okay, Doffy versus Jack.

And it's these guys who are obviously diehard One Piece fans. And there's not that many people in it at the beginning. There's like 20 or so people. But when you follow somebody that's in a space, you see it at the top of your timeline instead of... I saw this. I didn't know this. I got the notification.

So because he jumped into it this call of like 21 piece fans now turns into a call with like 500 listeners there's like a thousand he just sits there and two of the guys in the call are like have thick fucking london accents and it's very funny like it's like a mead level london accents oh yeah and uh they're just going back and forth about it. And he gets speaker access. I imagine. Let me predict. He's like, boys, boys, boys, look.

Did he do that? No. Me? Yeah. No, he didn't do that. He lets it sit for a while. Like, he gets his speaker access, and we just sit there and listen for a while. And he just waits for a little lull in the conversation after they're going back and forth.

On mutes, it's like, yeah, yeah, I totally agree. Like, this volume was fire. And he just waits for a little lull in the conversation after they're going back and forth on unmutes. It's like, yeah, yeah, I totally agree. Like this, this like volume was fire. Like it's, but he's doing it in the Ludwig voice that if you know him, he's obviously fucking with you. But they all, they all don't think, they think he's trying to genuinely participate in the conversation. So the main guy starts asking Ludwig questions and it just goes back and forth and he gets every time they ping it back to me i'm like dude yeah great fucking great volume dude nami fucking hot this app that's what i've been fucking saying ludwig lad yeah i'd be like but hey can we

talk about for fellas for a second robin oh robin yeah they're trying to talk about like the content of the chapter and he's like can we talk about robin's titties though it did melt fast a thousand people joining i didn't realize that would happen because that just it melted the group cannot sustain and then and then and then he asks him like a really long-winded and like eloquent question about how ludwig feels about the spoilers that are circulating because apparently a lot of people are getting spoilered around this section of one piece and it's ruining it for some people and ludwig's just like you know i've i've always said this about spoilers man it's way more about the journey than the material doesn't really ruin the experience like he's basically biting my whole you're just you're just fucking being like a you're what is this you're just being like a... What is this? You're just being like a mannequin that can speak.

Just for the sport. That is so awesome. Yeah. I think I was drunk and bored. And eventually, he's like halfway through this spoilers explanation, and you finally broke. You finally broke, and you started laughing, and you just left the call.

I couldn't. Because you couldn't go back and forth with him anymore. I couldn't laugh. And then they would know. So I had to leave. I want to take a trip with Ludwig. Yeah, he does sound super fun. I just want access to your heart.

Are you talking about main Ludwig? Don't know if I can bring him out again. You don't think so. Just like he's a caged beast. Well, I mean. He can only come out for so long. Yeah, but you just go travel again. You know what I did when I was there?

We were playing games all weekend. We were gambling. I showed him Liar's Dice last year, so we played Liar's Dice a bit. And we did a bit of poker, washed him. And last day, we were thinking of a game to play. They love gambling. I was like, what if we do blackjack and I'm the house?

No. So we booted up. No. We booted up blackjack and I'm the house. Immediately, know we booted up blackjack and i'm the house immediately they start talking about how they're gonna count so i have a rule at the ludwig casino i said okay you have to take a shot before you sit down at the table okay just to loosen the senses a bit everyone sits down we only got one deck yeah and uh and it's like burying stacks it's like mostly like 50 to 100 you know nothing crazy because i wanted to keep it small i was like i'm not trying to rob anyone here 50 max bet and we start going and i'm hitting yeah i'm flipping over like 14

i get like like two and then five and i'm just getting like 21 and i'm just busting these guys i take them for all their worth it's really bad you did this on new year's two years ago as well i know i felt bad and so insane and so i'm probably up on these guys like like six hundred dollars it doesn't feel good these you know because because because i'm because i'm making pretty good money i didn't need this 600 yeah why did you do it because well so then this is what i do i i hand them all like a 25 chip i'm like hey rake back rake back you take a shot hey you're loyal bro you're loyal supernova elite and uh in one friend in specific my friend reed who actually is he's pretty well off he's like a good job he makes six figures uh he keeps wanting more because he's down bad

he's bought in for like 100 a few times he's down like 300 bucks to me he's like he keeps trying to up my minimum bet because i said 50 i want to go high he's like can i a few times. He's down like $300 to me. He's like, he keeps trying to up my minimum bet. So I said $50. I want to go high. He's like, can I do $300? Yes, sir. And I'm like, yeah, it's fine, bro. So it is $300.

He wins. He's at $600. And he's like, can I do $600? Love that. Final hand. I'm like, okay, last one. Last one. He's like, okay, okay.

He does $600. I'm flipping around. He gets a two. Ding, ding, ding, ding. Flip it around. He gets a nine. Oh, he doubles? He doubles down for I'm flipping around. He gets a two. Flip it around. He gets a nine. Oh, he doubles? He doubles down for 1,200.

I allow it to pass. At the Ludwig Casino. At the Ludwig Casino. I know what I have because I have a 10. I have a queen facing. And then I look underneath and it's like a six. And I'm like, I'm sitting there like, fuck. You got a 16?

I got a 16. Oh, you got a bust. He's got a double on 11. I give him face down. I go a 16? I got a 16. Oh, you got a bust. He's got a double on 11. I give him face down. I go to me. I fucking bust out. I go down probably $800 total because I have to pay him the big racks. There's a good ending here.

Well, that's the thing I was thinking of. I was like, there is no good ending where I win. No, that's why you shouldn't have done it. It is only good if I lose. Yeah, that's how I felt after it. But you didn't think about that before when you did this to me one-on-one. Forgot about that.

He had less money back then, though. I had less money back then. I needed your money. You still, it was in this house. No, I needed your money. That money was important.

I know how much. It was here? I know how much money that was. Yes, it was. It was here. You bought a house. You're fine.

Well, the house, the mortgage. You always say that. Interest rates were high. Exactly. Ludwig's credit shade be like, I have a house, I'm well the house the mortgage you always say that interest credit shit we're high exactly what would credit shade be like i have a house i'm fine my credit is bad sure it's like 670 yeah what happened because it's just like there's like a higher the way credit works is there's like a day of the month where they where you have to pay and then a day of the month where they see how much money you have in your credit and they're different days right it's like a week before you're supposed to pay they check how much money you have in your credit and they're different days, right? It's like a week before you're supposed to pay,

they check how much is in your balance. And if it's high and you're using like 50 plus percent of your credit, they dock you. And I'm always like 80%. I'm capped out. You want 30% utilization. I'm at like 80, 90

because my credit limit is $1,000. You want to sit around 30, Ludwig. I know. Better for you. But my credit limit's 1,000, so I fill it up quick. But you have a house, so you're fine. That's what I'm saying. And that's what you say. Amen. And now you. But my credit limit's $1,000, so I fill it up quick. But you have a house, so you're fine. That's what I'm saying.

And that's what you say. Amen. And now you are the house. Well, I'm glad you lost money for once. I'm interested to see when you go get a car. I guess you could pay for a car in cash, but if you go finance a car, what your rates are going to be? I did it.

Well, I guess I paid cash. Did you speak to them like that? Can I get a car? Can I have a car? Please. Can I have a car? No, I'm good, man. I got a Vespa. I don't need a car. Yeah. Are you actually not going to get a car? I'm Vespa-pilled. I don't need a car? Can I have a car? Please. Can I have a car? No, I'm good, man. I got a Vespa.

I don't need a car. Yeah. Are you actually not going to get a car? I'm Vespa-pilled. I don't need a car. Okay, you can't. Hold on. He has a car.

The other day, I was like, hey, you want to go climbing? He was like, what if we took my Vespa? I'm like, that's crazy. He's like, yeah, you actually couldn't do it. I'm like, okay, so there's a place you can't go that you love. Yeah, I mean, I could. I just won't. Yeah.

He's a car. You have a car. Don't say you're Vespa-pilled when you just have both. You do have both. You're a fucking capper. It's a great car. From end to end, you're just a cap city. NordVPN.com forward slash to the yard.

NordVPN.com forward slash to the yard. That's our sponsor. Hey, the sponsor said we had to say it twice twice so get that fucking out of the way Get out of the way quick This is how we're doing it Let's talk about VPNs for a moment We're checking boxes Here's the thing that's happened to us in real life for real

Aiden was cringe but not like the fake cringe How cringe was he? He was so cringe that he downloaded an illegal copy Of Pirates of the Caribbean at World's End Yeah he pirated a movie about pirates like a fucking weird freak. Yeah. It could have been something different. He really wanted to watch Pirates of the Caribbean.

And our internet got taken down because Spectrum Internet was like, hey, that's illegal. And they take you down. You have to call to get it back up. My stream got taken down. You cost me maybe millions at this point. That was later on because you were pirating Pokemon wrongs. Hey, quiet down.

Pirating Pokemon wrongs. You got our internet taken down. Hey, but you know what? Two wrongs doesn't make a right. Yeah. So stop what you're doing right now. So we're going to focus on you being the only wrong. Anyway, hey, NordVPN, it's a great way to get around any problems you might have.

Region locked content, perhaps just a little bit of privacy. You wouldn't have cost Ludwig literally millions of dollars. If you want a secure internet connection and hide your personal information from your internet service provider, VPNs are great for you. Also, yeah, the region lock that you can watch Rick and

Morty on there when you switch to the UK. Yeah, so thanks to Nord and back to the radio rescheduled memeing. I actually hate you. You blamed us for months. You blamed us for months. You blamed us for months and you were pirating Pokemon ROMs the entire time.

NordVPN.com slash The Yard. Me and Ludwig, I think I already said this, but me and Ludwig took a ride in the Vespa as the closest I've ever felt to him. Squeezing his thighs with my thighs.

A fan spotted him and I could tell she was so confused at why Ludwig was here on a Vespa. Well, she must not be a big fan then. She sees Ludwig, and she's, like, stun-locked for, like, five minutes because she's trying to figure out, like, one, is this Ludwig? Two, why is he here of all places?

And three, why is he on a Vespa? I'm also dressed goofy, right? And he's dressed all weird-like. And Ludwig just, like, cuts off her confusion. Would you like photo and she's just like yes like i'm not gonna try to explain were you parked somewhere we were just pulling up getting some coffee oh okay okay we were just like a very random place to be yeah uh and it was just funny he just like cut her off and she was like i would love to stop thinking about this and try to figure it out i would love a photo i love when i meet a fan that is with a friend and the friend could not care less about me

and they're and they're like like why because that would happen there it was like there was she was with a friend the friend was like i don't why do you care she's like no i used to have a crush on like this guy who would like talk like this and he like doesn't have a face and then he's like he played a mogus take the picture it's a corn husband and like i thought the the last thing this weekend that you did that you did of note that was funny to me was one night we wanted to watch a movie, and everybody wanted to watch Shrek 2 for some reason. And Ludwig is so set on watching Spirited Away

because nobody there besides us has seen Spirited Away. Nobody's seen it. It's pretty crazy, actually. That's a rare thing. It was seven people who have never seen Spirited Away. that's what was going on over the course of like several hours ludwig is is like selling them on watching spirited away he was doing anything he can to convince them why it's like one of the greatest animated movies ever made and like why they need to watch it i was lying and why shrek 2 is dumb yeah and

he lied he's like it won the academy award for best picture i love that they'll never just saying shit because what are they gonna do pull out their phones not true they're not gonna heat check him and at the end of the at the end of the night they finally um they finally boot up shrek 2 in the basement and ludwig ludwig in his final act of defiance, is like, I'm going to watch Spirited Away upstairs. Like, come with me. Like, for those who will watch

Spirited Away with me. You started your own sovereign nation. And he went upstairs to watch the movie on his own. And one person, Christian, went upstairs to go watch it with him. It's a road dog. Wow.

It's a road dog if I've ever seen it. And Christian comes out the other side and he's like, yeah, it's pretty good. Hey, amen. But I don't think the Shrek 2 crowd I wouldn't just watch Shrek with your friends yeah that's what I thought I

was like I'm down to rewatch Shrek 2 and he's so convinced it's like if I pull this on my Instagram if I pull this on my Instagram I bet you spirited away wins and he puts the pole on it he

comes back to me the next day he's like Shrek 2 dominated yeah it's so funny Shrek 2 wins every matchup because it was funny 52 to 48 percent easy dominated you know what they call that in politics a landslide think about that pussy all right man spirit of ways it is not funny i will say that donkey and trek 2 is funny yeah because he's you know he's an ogre that's crazy yeah he wears pants damn Shrek

why did Shrek just why everyone started making Shrek jokes what happened I think it's just ironically it was like already kind of weird and then it's like I think it was so weird

that we got 10 years past it and then we that was enough time to look back and be like what the fuck was that yeah and it was just that odd the weird also smash mouth being involved in it that is that's also another weird element where we look back on that we're like do you think he was so he was so fat so there was like that enormous surge of smash mouth memes like smash mouth but the whole thing

is one tone and every time they say this, it speeds up and whatever. Do you think that would have happened without Shrek? No. What came first? No. Shrek was crucial. You think so? Yeah.

And also the Beatles, because they covered the song. What did they cover? Smash Mouth covered I'm a Believer. I think the Beatles covered Smash Mouth. That would be insane. That would go hard. They cover All Star? Yeah. In their nasally fucking disgusting British voices?

Okay, they're not that bad. The Beatles? No. Yeah, they fucking suck. No, they're fine. They're fine. They're fine. Yeah.

They're fine, but people like them way too much. Yeah, sure. It's weird. But they're a good band. They're a good bunch of blokes. They drink a little hot cum, drop a little hot tune. Nothing wrong with that. Paul McCartney died in a car crash

Many many years ago It's a double He's alive right now Amen So You touch him He just feels like Jackie Chan Downstairs

It's not real Also what happened When I was in fucking Weekend mode Is I got into a beef With Dr. Disrespect Bro what the fuck is going on You see that

What's happening Yeah I was scared And you know what You were ratioing his ass bro is I got into a beef with Dr. Disrespect. Bro, what the fuck is going on? You see that? What's happening? Yeah. I was scared. And you know what? And you know what? You were ratioing his ass, bro. You did ratio a doctor. You know what's funny?

That is how Twitter functions. That is all that matters. It's not the discourse. It's like, well, what's the likes looking like? The whole time while this is happening, by the way, he's doing it on a fucking plane. So like every time he queues up the tweet, he like leans over to me before he sent it

he's like you're up in the kyle high look at this look at this look at this wait were you drafting with amon no i was just showing him he would just write it up and then like show me okay right right and then and then click send i had snappy replies i was quick that's half the battle do you think that i was i was thinking a lot about it do you think doc is just like in character but then like can't back down from his character, so he doubles down? Or do you think he's salty? They wasn't invited?

What is this? What's happening? Yeah, well, let's quick recap it, I guess, if we can pull it up, just for the uninitiated, because it was a deep reply thread. Started by Connor Eats Pants, the villain of the story. Yeah, Connor really fucked with the bread and the bag. Because he, like, Dr. Disrespect tweeted,

like, nothing good happening on Twitter. And then Connor replied, like, why didn't you come to the eSports awards? Or the Streamer Awards. And then Doc replied. Was he invited? I probably not. Probably not because he's banned on Twitch, right?

Well, no, just more so, QD probably just couldn't reach out because he probably just closed DMs. He doesn't follow her. Maybe. We don't know. He couldn't be there because you can't have him be on. That is also true.

I didn't think about that. Yeah. Yeah. And and then he replied to Connor and he was like, he was like that kiddie event where it's just all given your friends trophies. And then I hit him with the classic. I had my two bomb.

Okay. So Dr. Strict is imagine creating a fake award show to give your best friends credit for something they're not even close to competing in. Okay. And then that's when I hit him with, hey, I'll ask QT to add NFTs in the gift bag.

Maybe that'll help you show up. Ratio. Which is, that's just an easy one because he's making a game. There's NFTs. It's also funny to say they're not close to competing in because it's like, for a lot of these categories, who else are you gonna invite to the event

they're pretty i would say they're close i think i think they're fine it's kind of just like cheap shot after cheap shot right yeah like it's dr disrespect's game like a full nft like scam pyramid no right it just has it has it in it yeah so there's all these like these cheap little dangling little nutsacks that you guys are just flicking. Yeah, and then he replied to that. That's what I pictured too. He replied to that.

It was just some vague. It was like, hey, the truth hurts, I know. Oh, yeah, yeah. And so I just sent back the classic Forsen CD, which is that's easy. I mean, that's all time. There's no day that doesn't work yeah so this is this is so what does this emote mean force and cd is like uh it's it's

the cheating emote really it's it's cheating and it's it's beyond cheating on your partner it's more so cheating in game now i see i feel like uh-huh sweet little bear right okay i feel like that was a low blow really i do oh it's easy it's just a little face yeah but it's like implying it's like hey remember you cheat on your wife well yeah you just said yeah just a little i and i might be crazy hey but he's coming at his wife so he that's what i'm saying so he was he was bill smith and he went up and he said, hey, bro. It's true. What's up, dog? Hey, he slapped him with an emote

and with reality. He would rip your head off. Yeah, he's so fucking tall. But he's old. Maybe I have that. That's true. I have a lower heart rate. I have an athlete's heart rate.

You have an athlete's heart rate and an athlete's heart. Right. And then he replied some shit, but it was like you'll be irrelevant in two years I give you two years tops staying relevant or something damn bro fuck you that's a great two years

that's my contract it's funny cause everyone's like they don't know that he said five three years ago but my question I asked you in the car we were on the way and I was like cause you were like I think we're just all in good fun. And I'm like, what?

You guys were like, you guys were chopping each other up. Yeah, but it's like Twitter chopping up. Like, I don't care. No, if they saw each other in person, it'd be fun. I believe that. I am very un- Here's what he said. You called everyone you could to try to win some sort of stream of the year award, and

you did. Holy shit. I give you two more years of relevance. That's it. And he's punctuation. Boomer. Yeah. In two more years of relevance. That's it. And he's punctuation. Boomer. Yeah. In my mind,

I don't care about it. I just thought there were funny little drama tweets and I think he also was like that because he replied to like Maya

and he was like, I've never lost in Tetherball ever because she replied to the thread about like see me on the I saw this and I'm like, uh oh, dad's in trouble.

I sort of saw it as like that's an opportunity for the doc character to fuck around in a little thing. That's what I was thinking. Yeah. Is it always in character? Isn't that the idea?

I'm sure there's part of his ego that like maybe sees the reply and actually wants to win or whatever. Yeah. But if he fucking replies with his Guy Beam account and he's like, that conversation really frustrated me. You should not be. Then I'd be like, okay, wow, he's upset. But if he's with Dr. Disrespect being like, the two two time doesn't like when you talk listen up rack this is the champions club and you are not invited i love how carl just steps in with a message that has nothing to do with it and ratios both of you he did ratio the sport of it he ratioed the whole group just to

fucking just to show up he did blow it up and that's when i was like man fucking my what's up family you ever seen nine inches boom right on the table yeah me and doc are throwing our four peckers around our four inch peckers he comes out with the big lbj hog lads well i'll be i'll be leaving now yeah and he rides on a giant bite with a big wheel oh my god bro's got to like fucking package it up, throw it over the arm, lug his big old cock around. Minecrafters have it so easy, dude. I was, yeah, I was scared.

I was scared. I thought that dad was in trouble and that things were going wrong. No, it was great. You dropped a quote retweet. You dropped a quote retweet where we just post pictures of me on the toilet now in large public forums.

Do you know I've been waiting like a week to drop that for the perfect moment? And I still don't think that was it, but I kept just looking in my phone. I'm like, I can't resist. This is candy and I need it now. Yeah, I can't.

My only problem with that photo is people in the replies criticizing the way I sit and poop. It's like, dude. It is not cool. They're grilling? I didn't even post it. Aiden's got his knees touching

but his feet out. Yeah, I'm like this. And he's on his phone like this. No, no, it's the opposite. I think your feet are close together. No, no, because that dick would be out. Oh, is it? It was knees tight.

Yeah, like Logos getting in there, and he's like, yeah, why does he pull his pants all the way down? It's like, why don't you fucking win a tournament? Yeah, how about you? How about you ledge dash when it counts? Yeah. Yeah, how about that? You do poop weird.

I'm just pooping. Let's talk about it. Am I the only squat-a-potty-er when it counts? Yeah. Yeah, how about that? You do poop weird. I'm just pooping. Let's talk about it. Am I the only squat-a-potty-er in the house? Yeah. Yeah. I've been thinking about it. They're swag. I might get one.

They're swag. But here's the thing. But you can't use the bidet when you're using one. Why? You have to... All right, so when you're... Oh, man, this is part of my life. When you are using the squatty-potty, right?

So your feet are up like this when you're squatting and pottying. So your butthole is at an angle. And when you use the bidet it doesn't hit your butthole it hits like the back of your butt i'm sorry i'm doing math um you're you're doing you're miming a position that looks like you're going to the gyno like that's kind of like you're in stirrups like this is like your regular poop position right yeah i'm here i'm pooping well no i'm and this is squatty potty yeah Yeah. So what the fuck? Is your shit just shooting out and hitting the side of the bowl? No. Why is your shit not shooting out?

Because the poop is helped by gravity to continue moving down. It like falls out. Like something in your mouth that you just don't like. And it makes the Taco Bell sound when it hits the water. You've got low velocity poops. Velocity? Yeah. They come out slow. Yeah, but they're like high impact.

Yeah, but low velocity. I have yeah I mean yeah but they're like high impact yeah below velocity I have like a Bowser poop yeah it's Mario Kart mine's like Falcon because it comes out with spikes on it mine comes out uh anyway I have the funky Kong of poop so I gotta I gotta push the squad of potty away and then hit the hit the command center damn uh just a little bit of info for your life you're you by the way I took that picture because I walked by and his door is wide open and he has an open concept bathroom. That's why I took it. I do that all the time now in hopes of getting Ludwig back. But you were the first person to see it.

Here's the thing. You wouldn't get me back. I'm down. Yeah, he's down. You're not getting him. Just text me when you do it, and I'll come by. No, that wouldn't ruin the fun. And then he'll get in between your legs with his head.

The power play is sitting on your lap. Coming in and just sitting down. Pooping through my legs like I'm fucking stacked. We can get it done. I'll just like... How many do you think you could stack? I'll talk my balls back. How many men?

How many men could you stack sitting on a toilet where all their poop gets in the toilet? So that the poop falls through. There's one shot. It's like when you're trying to realign three-hole punch paper and you can't quite get the binder back in it. You're in the hotel stairs where you go all the way to the top and you drop an ice cube all the way down.

No, it's kind of like the coin game at Taco Bell. When you drop the coin into the water and you've got to land it on one of way down. No, it's kind of like the coin game at Taco Bell. When you drop the coin into the water and you gotta land it on one of the platforms. Right. That's an old one. That's an old free meal. You're making me think of the Ronald McDonald charity swirl. It's kind of like that. I just thought that was hype. Dude,

has anyone ever peed into one of those? That's like... See, I don't know what that is and I'm just like, that sounds like an Urban Dictionary sex business. The Ronald McDonald charity store. That's just a thing that's at malls, right? You put a quarter in, it spins for an hour.

Well, it spins into this big funnel, and you watch it spin. You're like, nice. You're like, whoa. Okay, that's what I was talking about. Yeah, that's not, yeah, okay. The fucked up part is they used to fill them with water, and it was more fun. Yeah, because it's like it bounces. Yeah, and you have more of like time, but now it's just like, damn, it, okay. The fucked up part is they used to fill them with water, and it was more fun. Yeah, because it's like it bounces. Yeah, and you have more of like time,

but now it's just like, damn, it's hard. Yeah, it is hard. It just bounces off. We would grind those. Yeah. Help a local teen graduate. I'm good. Yeah, I don't care about all that.

I just want to play a fun coin game. Yeah. I'd just rather they not be in my Valorant games. Those young teens? Those young teens. Yeah, let's talk about. I was going to say, I want to be the Jason R. of Valorant. Yeah, in my Valorant games. Those young teens? Those young teens. Yeah, let's talk about... I was going to say, I want to be the Jason R. of Valorant. Yeah, speaking of Valorant.

Damn. Wow. Hey, leave me at that. Yo, rolling up to the club like Jason R., leaving if women are there. Yeah, the idea was that I just... Like, I'm Jason R., but if you have a voice that just, like, is fucking, you just haven't hit puberty. You're a squeaker? I don't want you in my fucking game.

You're dodging squeakers? Get the fuck out of here. Same thing with my check. Get the fuck out. You're ageist. It's not for you. Yeah, I want to play with fucking adults that can, like, I don't know, take space. Right.

Or at least, like, just care about, like, look, one time I was playing a Valorant game. This was a long time ago. And I said, please push B or I'm going to kill myself in real life. I say this on the mic. Instantly, this like 14-year-old kid is like, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it. Dude, you got dived. And I'm like, yeah, I deserve that one. And he was also, he would also on the mic, he'd just be like, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude.

I'm like, he's a juicer too. Like, what the fuck am I supposed to do? I can i can't reason with this lit up by the juicers also i was playing a game this was on stream it was fucked up i was like this guy's being such a cunt just such a real real dickhead right he's being really mean he's like hey cipher buy me buy me just buy me dude buy me like buy me now i'm like no say you're sorry for being mean and he's like okay dude i'm sorry i'm sorry. I'm sorry. I mean it. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

And I'm like, okay. And I bought him. He's like, dude, I wasn't sorry. You fucking dumbass. And I was like, this is the, I've never been owned this hard. I know. I didn't have a brother growing up. Wow.

It shows. I got fucking destroyed. That's crazy. So anyway, Jason R. Right idea, bad execution. You called it. Yeah, dude. You called Jason R. I did call bad execution. Ludwig, you called it. Yeah, dude. You called Jason R.

I did call it. We said on the pod, I think it was the primo, because we didn't get to talk about it. Can you bring the clip up? Well, okay, he put it in his mogul mail. So as we speak, the mogul mail has already dropped,

and you are now the keemstar of the internet world. We got this clip. We got this clip. My QAnon theory is that he cheated on her. Yes. Which has made her wildly insecure. He was likely with someone he maybe gamed with.

I thought the same thing. I didn't realize you did that. I saw the video. That was great. If he saw this in the dating phase, he would not have continued to marriage. Yeah. So this is like, this is, I don't know if you guys are a toxic partner, but this is how it goes sometimes.

You just got to like. Yeah, maybe once well what no what i'm saying is like yeah sometimes you're just caught in a fucking in a vortex i'm not saying he's a good guy or whatever but like when when that when he like explained it which was like last night in a baby little paragraph i was like oh okay now i get it you're still weird it's all still so weird, and you're, like, cringe and weird, but it's like, okay. Still bad. This makes sense.

Still weird, but what if he just said that at the beginning? Right? Yeah. Well, I mean, now, because now he's like, okay, so I cheated on my wife, and now...

We didn't say that, by the way. You're putting words in his mouth. I don't think that's fair either. If I allegedly... No, he didn't say anything. He just said, I did some bad things, right? I wasn't fair to her. I don't think that's fair. If I allegedly... No, he didn't say anything. He just said, I did some bad things, right? I wasn't fair to her.

I don't think that's... I did bad things to my wife. That sounds worse. Say what he said. I'm going to look up what he said. That's what he said. I'm going to look up what he said because it's not really fair to literally say... I think he said early in our relationship, I wasn't...

I did really bad things to my wife. Really bad. I took my wife to the lab where everyone wears wearing lab coats and their dogs and they're wearing glasses it was like 15 dogs and they're all while i was there wearing when i was younger i was not a good person to her that's all he said i think it's fair to like one dog jason skewed with dude all dogs in my chat you're fucking bad uh the problem is he still dropped the you in the the insane tarik stream that you you're acting like a girl i felt really bad for tarik for two reasons and that whole interaction was because one i feel like he

couldn't find the words to to accurately explain how he felt which i feel is like a correct way to feel which is basically like i think it's reasonable that people think this about you based on what you've done right that those words never came out of his mouth, really. And it was like it was hard for both of them to find the actual clear words. And then also he just like he I feel like he just wants the game and he's like trying to be really cool about it. He felt really guilty about it. It just felt like shit. No, no. I think Tarik was just worried that people because like he got really heated.

He's like getting shit on and it's like, fuck, dude, it's it just sucks. I think the idea of being a cloud chaser made him feel bad. And the idea that once you make it, like everything you do is now for the fucking numbers. And it's like, that's so toxic because like some people are like that, but you know who's not instantly. You know, if you know them personally. So I don't know. My favorite part of this whole thing is they're in a party talking and zelsis another pro player is in the party the whole time just vibing and also streaming and it's in the they're

like 30 minutes into the argument and zelsis on his stream is just like bro i'm so stressed i need some fucking top yeah and it's the funniest delivery, the clip is so fucking funny. He's like standing pacing. He's like, I need some top right now. It's like the most stream viewers he's ever gotten because he's just the guy who happens to be in the call with them at the same time. Just watching your friend fight with their parents.

God. Did you see the clip from Jason R where he's like fucking snakes, dude. I fucking remember all your fucking names. He's like really mad. Bro, I'm like, like dude turn the camera that your drywall right next to you i want to see it that shit looks like swiss cheese i want to see the happy face of one reason besides like the actual reason he's facing like the controversy in the first place one of the reasons i can't take jason seriously is he has like a pretty distinct

canadian accent so when he's mad everything the more mad he gets oh fuck bud oh fuck the more over right now i need a fucking bull where in canada is that yeah you're molesting me right now we're not getting there are you irish isn This isn't happening. You're fucking Irish right now. That's right. That's Canadian, right? I mean, maybe like Newfoundland, maybe. We know Canada. We know Canada. Fucking Timmy Horton's right now. But the way he says fuck when he gets mad is so fucking Canadian, it makes me laugh every

time. Yeah, it's quite... Let me ask you a question, Ludwin Onder. Hey, what's up? What's the purpose of... Are you that guy now? Are you a here's the drama now do you feel okay doing that i feel a little bit wet sometimes when you do it in a bad way

oh bad wet how do you how are you wet in a bad way shawty like you like because he likes it but he doesn't want to no no yeah i guess that's a good way to put it i feel it's it's like i have always thought the the drama machine of like let's talk about what's going on uh-huh is is like pretty toxic and pretty like is like a net negative to the world but i feel like mogul mail has turned into it why are you mainlining sunny v2 and then shaming my small bespoke little industry that we have going on our small bespoke journalism program i don't mainline sunny you mainline and i am a journalist you watch a video that's like that's like i ask you your opinion on it because you're a fucking streamer because you know these people and ninja is absolutely washed because i will i will watch it and i'll be like bro what do you think of this

he should probably and then you're like and then you're like oh my god you're watching it's like no i'm just asking what you think like i want to learn here you're watching. It's like, no, I'm just asking you what you think. Like, I want to learn. Here's the thing. I'm a journalist and I'm just spreading the gospel of journalism. You don't feel guilty? Of what? I don't know. I think it's, I think drama YouTubing is, is what you're essentially doing. And I've always been like, well, that's whack.

He picks his spots though. I think it's easy to like the, this video is easy to make. And I think not very controversial because it's very clear to almost everyone involved that who fucked up. And he's not like this good guy who's being mischaracterized. He's like, no, he tried to argue that he wasn't sexist for an hour

while also calling Tariq a girl. I agree. Here's the thing. This is typical slime. You didn't watch it. What? No, I did. I watched the whole fucking thing. The most recent one? Yeah, you included the Nadeshot clip. You included clips. You talked about all this. You brought up a twit longer.

I saw it all. I watched it. The Nade clip you included, is that the one where he's telling Tariq you shouldn't feel bad about this? Yeah. Yeah, I agree with that. Because if Jason came at him and is like let's have this argument in front of fucking you know 40 000 50 000 people let's fucking sort this out and instead of like taking it offline and i think when all you have to do is click stop streaming like now other people get to be involved in that yeah it's it is it is weird to see the coliseum

and the and the people in their filthy tunics i think the throwing rocks the drama that shitty is when you scrape up really like innocuous shit like dick cerdo and like make an article out of it i think that's really fucking lame yeah i think for me it's usually like uh i i hate tweeting about shit you know and like really why i because tweeting always feels like it's for likes specifically and and it's and it's like you know like i'm making the stand here and i don't feel i don't feel like i can do that in authentic ways but i can't just sit in front of a camera for like eight to ten minutes really i see i think it's the opposite i feel the opposite where it's

like the video is more of a good boy point machine than Twitter. But maybe we're just – we have different brains. No, it's for sure because the video you can fit so many more thoughts into and so much more context, whereas Twitter you can only say your stance. Yeah, I think a good point there is like when you make a long YouTube video, there's so many places to point out criticism with your line of thinking, whereas on Twitter, you can sort of say, you can defend anything because you've only said a small sentence. You've made no strong statements. Here's why I'm different, is because

I excel in poetry, and that's all that Twitter is. No, it's economy of language. When did you wrote poems? What I'm saying, in college. Have you written a poem since college? I was correct. No, kind of. It's been 13 years. It hasn't been 13 years. What I'm saying is in college. Have you written a poem since college? I was correct. No, kind of. It's been 13 years. It hasn't been 13 years. What I'm saying is economy of language.

You went to college when it was like the first college was made, right? It was before the Berlin Wall fell. Yeah, right. I've been watching videos about USSR. It's just great. Yeah? No, look. Twitter is economy of language, and I think that's beautiful.

So I feel like I excel and understand that environment so much more when I'm delivering a take out of my uterus. But you had a problem with the I'm not gay so Lucas and Luke from Linus Tech Tips can double team me on the roof of a barn TBH. That's a slime tweet. This is what I'm talking about. So Zipper brought up a tweet of mine

that I feel like is online with what I believe to be perfect writing Aiden in the airplane by the way with his airplane wi-fi looking up Michael Hastings on Wikipedia that's funny yeah I found out Hassan like knew Michael Hastings yeah that is crazy I felt so bad when he told me that I was reading about Michael Hastings and I was like damn that is a good Twitter name I know I know you well you had a good Twitter name. I know. I know. Well, you had a problem with like the Jake Sucky tweet, didn't you?

Dude, that guy too, man. He did that thing where he was like, because the J Center shit broke, right? It like first started like getting hot. And the guy literally made a tweet that was like, I don't know what to think about this. I got no opinions on this one. And it's like, you don't need to say that. It's implied. Anyone who wants to believe what they want

will just assume that you agree with them. Yeah. To say that, I don't have any opinions on this one, brother, is so weird. Sometimes necessary.

It's so suboptimal. Like, I've been holding off on the Will Smith thing. The press has to stay neutral. I don't know how I feel yet. But for this one, it was so whack because it's like,

this is the one that you don't have an opinion I'm not all the way Not all the way there in Russia, Ukraine yet. And then he fucking, he's part of some goddamn This one, it was so whack because it's like, this is the one that you don't have to distinguish. I'm not all the way there in Russia, Ukraine yet. And then he fucking, he's part of some goddamn- Wait for the facts to come in. Dude, Mance is part of some fucking news outlet now, and he tweeted about us smelling Amaranth's fart jars. And I was this close-

Yeah, and I was this close to just responding. Like, just some fucking shit that would have got me in a fight. And I was like, I'm not going to do this. Here's the thing. You can't fight him. No, not like a real fight. What did he say about the fart jars? He was just like, the guys of the yard smell Amaranth's fart jars.

It was just like a fucking update thing. Like a scoop. It was a scoop. It's like, whatever, but it was just run by this guy who is, to me, I feel like part of the engine that is drama. YouTube, like, literally the like collector, because that's the career is the like collector. Where's the ambition.

At least you want to do creative things, right? At least you want to like build something beautiful one day. I feel like others in this space just don't. And that bothers me. And yeah, that's kind of how I'm processing. You just one take Jake,

a quick little 10 minutes, something, something that you're interested in. Cause you like a little drama popcorn and that's all it is i'm down to be the keemstar of youtube wow yeah just like i'm the white shroud of twitch don't own that i am the i am the keemstar of youtube i don't know man either either way it's like he's been on youtube for a while uh yeah i'll say his first couple accounts yeah anyway that was on a lie detector the bruce uh drop him off joined otk and uh and they did a lie detector stream and one of the questions bruce act uh asked he's he's black is uh to mizkif with the lie detector on he says

when's the last time you said the n-word insane hot. Hot seat. Love that. Hot seat. Wait. Oh, hot seat. Yeah. That's a tough one. What was the result? I'm on the edge of my seat. I don't think it got there because it was, they did it wrong. They were like, say the name and the date. Oh, yeah.

Which is just fake. It's not how lie detectors work. Yeah. Oh, that makes sense. Yeah. This is, hey, this is where. That'd be funny if it was Miskiff's mom. Oh, yeah.

It has to be like. Arms crossed. Like, tell him. Tell him, Matthew. Here's the thing, Slime. Some of the lie detectors are fake. No. That these streamers have been doing.

No. Really? I know. Did you... Not in yours, though. No. I mean, ours is genuine. We had the guy.

We had the guy. And that guy was not a crook ever. No. Professional. Honest. One of the best in the business, they say. You... Huge pee-pee. You wanted me to move out for Atriok.

Would you still take that trade? Aiden for Atriok? Yeah. Every day. I don't think you would. You kidding me? I don't think you would. I dropped him today for Hassan.

After this romantic weekend? Dropped you today for fucking Hassan. Couldn't feel better about it. I was so bummed. You guys have no idea. I just wish I knew earlier. I wish I knew that he didn't want to play because then I could have prepared myself.

But I thought the idea of the four yard boys dropping tilted was, I think, I knew he didn't want to play because he kept trying to get his little brother to play. And I was like, well, he always doesn't want to play. He kept pawning off Eamon. So I ran a Fortnite event, Fortnite Mondays, Keemstar of YouTube.

Truly. No beard, though. He did used to run Fortnite tournaments, didn't he did weekly fortnight tournaments hype and uh and i invited all influencers all not fortnight pros i made it nice and soft for us well and uh and i and i was gonna get the yard boys and we're gonna drop tilted we're gonna frag out and we after five games got four kills total and finished second to last behind or in front of stands you know i said though you know i said the night before we're playing and uh someone said i said i think stands plays for i think stands all right and i said i will never get my head removed by stand in any video game for ever i mean and you know what? We fucking beat their team

and that's all I needed to fucking do. Amen. Eat shit, Stance. Eat shit. Dude, we had a Sondager team and I thought,

I thought that it was going to be like, like a faulty AI in like an N64 game where there's like this big ogre that's like your friend and you have to like

click A to tell him to go places like, but he doesn't sometimes. I thought that's how it would be. But he actually, like the bot in CSGO when he just doesn't listen to you sometimes. Yeah, you have to just keep sitting X4 or Z4. But actually, I was like, okay, guys,

I don't want to hear right here. I want to hear coordinates and I want pings. He was so on it. Yeah, he was on it. I was so proud. He couldn't shoot his gun very well. So bad. At shooting the gun.

Yeah. Which is more important. I wish he was better at shooting the gun and didn't come. I'm the opposite. Can't shooting the gun. Yeah. Which is more important. I wish he was better at shooting the gun and didn't come. I'm the opposite. Can't have it all. I think information

is really important. I wish he was a one trick Raina carry that was smurfing. Because that's Nick's job. Yeah, that is fair. But Nick didn't do it. No.

I got the most kills. No. Yeah. Tied. We tied? Yeah. I got the most kills. Fair enough.

2-2? I guess. Yeah. Really counting up yeah my one more like impact though yeah yeah actually true but hey didn't drop a zero bomb hey me and you

buddy oh slime I tried really hard a little bit of a zero I was mad that we lost I felt bad I was like man I like the video winning video games I will say message in the discord after that

was so funny. Who ratioed you? Wait, what was it? Oh, that was very, very funny. I didn't see this. His message. That was very funny. Let me pull it up.

So I'm just going to read. No, I'm going to send this to Zipper. Is it okay to like show people's Discord names? I don't know. It's just their server. If it's not their hashtag. Yeah. Okay.

Okay. Okay. Feel for me. I have a server, by the way called join or pussy it's i took this idea from miles oh yeah miles has been doing this thing where he'll play league he doesn't stream this he doesn't do anything he played league with his buddies well and like him and josh and if they get like someone who's inting on their team or is like being really fucking toxic he'll he'll he'll say join our pussy join our pussy and and link the discord a discord link

and then he'll get him in a call and and he'll just ask them what's up. They'll chop it up. They'll chop it up. They'll be like, all right, so what's your problem with us? Yeah, like, what's your deal? And they always have a terrible explanation because they're just toxic. And the guy either ends up saying something like, you know what? You're right.

Like, I'm being fucking – I'm sorry. I had a hard day. Fucking whatever. Or they just, like, leave. Yeah, that makes sense. Dude, it they just leave. Yeah, that makes sense. It's so funny, and I can't remember to do it in Valorant, but I want to start doing it. I'm sure you could also pivot it into a nice 1v1.

I don't like 1v1 in games like that. I mean, Valorant 1v1s are shit. I'll send this to you, Zipper. But yeah, it was fun. It was like, I just want to win. It did give me a little itch. You know what I realized from that tournament was Valorant is not one of those games that you can just...

Sorry, I meant Fortnite. Fortnite is not one of those games that you can just have the gamer gene and then drop in and do well. You've got to know what guns are good. You have to play it for a week, and then you can use gamer genes. I disagree. Oh, yeah. So here's my... It's just really good vibes.

Everyone's just having a great time. Thanks, Lud, for putting this together. Thanks, Lud. I said, this was the worst day of my life, and I've experienced the death of both of my parents. I think it was... Is it Altrive? Someone started spelling out ratio and emojis on my phone.

You got ratioed on that? That's tough. So that was pretty funny. That's tough. Yeah, that's a crazy one to drop in the global. I thought it'd be funny because it's like a goddamn fucking... It's a softball factory in there. It's like the ice cream store.

Yeah. You know? So I thought it'd be really funny. Yeah, it was great. They're all being teddy bear cute. I had a wonderful time. Shut the fuck up, Eam like I thought it'd be really fun. Yeah, it was great. They're all being teddy bear cute. I had a wonderful time. Shut the fuck up, Eamon. I enjoyed spectating you guys. I enjoyed helping

get the replays. All the work that we did getting a beautiful relationship over this past week was undone when you didn't play. Yeah, that's true. I felt betrayed. That's okay. We'll go on another trip and we'll start over. It's me and Ludwig's time. It is me and Nick time. No. Yep. No, it's not.

No smiley face. No smiley face. Yeah, I disagree though. I think having battle royale experience is the kicker. Because like you can always there's long gun, there's short gun, there's mid gun. I mean, I will say Mendo doesn't play. He dropped in. He installed for the first time. He's a god. That's why you have to be

thankful. He's never played. Never played. Does he play Warzone? I mean, he might have played like years ago. Does he play Warzone? No, I think he plays Apex. Well, there it is. It's Battle Royale, right? It's a genre and it's got like mechanics of its own in terms of strategy and spacing.

I have less than five minutes played in that game, so I wouldn't have known anything. And also, if you guys recall, I played PUBG for about 15 to 20 hours of playtime and got zero kills. I don't know this. Is that real shit? Yeah, because when we talked a long time ago about our biggest gamer Ls.

That's my biggest gamer L. Really? Yes. I played that many hours. I did have a terrible PC that literally could not load the map for the first five minutes of the game. So that did hurt me. But... Biggest game or L?

Biggest game or L? Biggest game or L. 20 hours in a game and I did not kill a single guy. I mean, losing to me in that 1v1 has got to hurt though too, you know? Don't recall that. Thanksgiving? Oh, I recall. There's video evidence. I'll show you the video later. We'll show you the video. I defeated

you for a spot on Team USA. Do you recall that? Best of five. No, I don't. Didn't even go to last game, actually. It was a fucked up best of five. 3-1. Yeah, but it was like a best of five split over two hours.

True. That doesn't count. We played the last game because I had to go play soccer. I had a duty to my team. Call it soccer. When he was in Stoke. Football. That's crazy. In on trent football stoke

on trent i'm stoked on champ bro yeah man we covered it all there was so there was actually so much that happened what's your rocket league dude oh i went yeah i went to uh uh rocket league winter major why uh so okay so when i worked at bts um one of the employees at BTS got hired to Psyonix and she sent me a DM and was like hey do you want to come to the winter major that's fucked up she didn't message me bro she doesn't like you no one does we were in the trenches

JJ you fucked up wait wait wait sorry are you making a threat yes I hope you like dogs no I got a laboratory so i went kind of just like because me and me and nick yingling uh we we sometimes just boot up rocket league it's my it is the truly it's truly the only video game i play where i have no investment in being good but i have so much fun playing it every other game i can't just play i have to like

i want to be good at it and i'll spend the time to like try to learn the mechanics and like rank up here's why he's capping welcome welcome welcome to the another yet another expose on one of you on one of you slobs Nick once told me I thought you were going with that I told this on the pod that Rocket League was the game that he could have gone pro in. Yeah, I still think that. So I feel like that directly contradicts what you're saying. No, I just think that it's one of those things that I thought was really natural and intuitive. So I think the way I phrased it was, if any game I have the highest chance of getting to that level in,

I think it's that game. The reason was it felt the most intuitive to me. But that's decoupled from how you played it. It never felt worth the time to do something like that. I'm also not saying, yeah, I could be a fucking pro. Car and a ball. I'm more saying, comparative to the rest of the games I play,

that one has always felt the most intuitive. However, the point of this is me and Nick Engeling love queuing up. We love being toxic, talking shit to the other team, saying we start the game, we instantly call what the score is going to be we say 6-1

they get two goals we adjust we say 6-2 every single time they miss what a shot nice shot nice shot we know we're terrible and like Rocket League has like in-game comms and they're fucking horrible like it sounds like you're talking through a microwave

and so you know if you scream at them there's like a 50-50 chance you're coming out their television yeah and it sounds like you're talking through a microwave and uh so you just you know if you scream at them there's like a 50 50 chance you're coming out their television yeah and it sounds like because they're console players they have uno on their xbox exactly yeah so so we're toxic we yell people it's a fucking amazing time it's so fun uh jj remembers that we like doing this and so she hits us up do we like like guys like to come to the winter major we're like oh that's crazy that you got special treatment from a Psyonix employee as one of the worst players of the game's history. Well. Like, in terms of your toxicity.

I'm Diamond. Oh. Oh, yeah. Yeah, fair enough. Yeah, not your skill. Like, you are what they don't want, ideally, right? I will say, it is Candyland over in Rocket League Town. Rocket League is one of the most lucrative esports in the world

because it's car and it's ball. There's no guns. There's no terrorists. No blood. There's no skeletons. I talked to CJ. CJ was there. He's like a...

Could be a terrorist. So ex-pro, gone caster. Probably one of the... My favorite caster, probably one of the best casters. Back to pro. He was in the tournament. Wait, is he the Australian guy?

Yeah. I love that fucking guy. He was in the tournament and he casted the tournament. That's so money. Wait, what? That's so money. Yeah, so his team got eliminated kind of early. It's on Renegades. His team got eliminated kind of early and they were like, you want to cast the rest of it? And he's just like, I'm here.

And so he did both. And I was like, dude, you might be one of the only people in esports who is like good, like that this good at both at the same time. Not like, oh, like maybe like your fifth Lauren and you play and then you cast it after or whatever um i was like that's pretty swag anyway so i went to the event uh it was an awesome time the event it's i didn't realize rocket league fucking amazing spectator

sport it's hype it is so fucking fun to watch it's very similar to like actual soccer like there's like embedded chants for like teams and and players. Everyone wears jerseys like the teams they like. There was a guy who between every match was doing 50 squats and the crowd was chanting every number. 50? Yeah. And they counted to 50? That'd be annoying.

Grand finals games were starting and they were still counting because he hadn't stopped yet. Well, you gotta finish the squats. So he wasn't in-game. He was squatting, not playing? There wasn't a player. This is a guy in the crowd. Right. A guy in the crowd is squatting

and the whole crowd is yelling the number. Now I don't like that. And then the game starts and they're still going. He wants it to be about him, but it's about the car soccer guys. Well, 50 squats deserves it. There was a lot of want to be about them guys there,

but because there was so many, it was like one collective crowd of people so it felt a little better there were people wearing like NA over EU shirts here's the guy

here's the guy showing us the squat guy yeah he had good form 50's a lot could you do 50 straight right now he busted down a bunch of squats

yes no way but I'd be 50 straight 100 bucks if you do it straight right now I don't want to do it it's just bad content 50 squats yeah we just keep rolling you just do it in right now. I don't want to do it. It's such bad content.

50 squats? Yeah. Yeah, we just keep rolling. You just do it in the background while I keep talking and telling the story. I don't think... Go ahead. Yeah. All right.

Let's hear form first before I start talking again. I want to make sure you're not fucking... He always looks funny when he squats. It's tough. I know. It looks funny. It's not a bad thing.

I'm with you. I like that you're doing it. No, we have the same thing. We're the same. Now you keep squatting then, huh? So at this event, something. So my childhood best friend was there. Like coincidentally.

Coincidentally. I haven't seen him in like years. And we used to be neighbors when I was a child. Literally, when I was, like, one years old to, like, early teens. Like, actual neighbors? Actual neighbors. Okay. That's, like, how I met them.

We, like, go over to their house on Thanksgiving also. So, he was there, and we met up because he saw I posted a tweet there. And we met up, and we're talking, and there just happened to be a fuckton of Yard fans who were at this event. Like so many. Happened to be, bro. You can't go anywhere without these guys. Okay, well.

At the airport, that's why I kept going, Aiden from the Yard. People always chirp around. So I'm talking to my friend. And I'm not kidding. Every three or four seconds, someone walks by. Hey, can I get a picture with you? And I literally, after four, I look at him. I'm like, I promise my life is not like this.

This is not something that happens all the time. He's like, oh, don't worry. He kind of keeps up with what I do, but he, I look at him and I'm like, I promise my life is not like this. This is not something that happens all the time. He's like, oh, don't worry. He kind of keeps up with what I do, but he doesn't quite understand it. And yeah, there must have been like 10, 11 people who just came by and then a bunch of people after. And I was like, we have so many people who watch our show who play Rocket League. And I did not. So effortlessly cool. Okay, well, I didn't put this together.

So that's interesting. Oh, you're struggling over there, Slime. No, he's good. He's getting there, bro. He's getting there. Well, the knees are bending less, I'm saying. That one looked great. The event itself, like the actual event, really fucking good.

Team Queso started round one losers, got all the way to grand finals, lost to NRG in a game 13, 14. Damn, flips you off. That's crazy. Anyway, anyone listening, if you have the chance to go to a Rocket League event, I recommend it. I had a lot of fun. I'm probably going to try to go to another one soon.

I will continue flaming people online though. What if we start a Rocket League team and it's just us? I would love that. I've been asking you to play Rocket League with it's just us? I would love that. I've been asking you to play Rocket League with me for so long. I would love that. Hey, I have this arrangement with Nick where if he comes,

because he always comes to me and he's like, I got a million dollar idea. And so finally I snapped. I was like, okay, your ideas sometimes are just like million dollar idea, bro. What you do is you create a background for iphones and that's like okay i do remember that one yeah no i do remember that i said he said i had this burger at the airport bro yeah fuck dude let me tell you was top five yeah it was pretty good dude so that's five so he finally comes around he like, I got a million dollar idea.

I'm like, okay, look, listen, shut the fuck up. If you come to me with an idea and I do it and I make a million dollars, I will give you half the money. But he hasn't yet to come with an idea yet. Yeah, because now I'm saving him because I only get half the bad deal. And it's pretty fucked up. Why is it fucked up? I made you a million dollars, bro. No, because I have to execute.

But he's the marketing arm. That's what I realized. I don't need him. So you're just going to execute him yourself? Why make $500K? I don't have to make a million dollars. You're cooking up some million dollar ideas right now? It's like a background for iPhone. I'm choosing. I'm trying to filter which one I want.

First idea. Let's get a banger cheeseburger in the airport. What is this idea? No, fuck you I'm not telling this story What is this? It's not a story anymore Because you made fun of me already So if I tell it

I'll just get made fun of more We made fun of him After we were done recording the last episode Because he didn't get around to one of his topics last time Which was how good the burger is in LAX You wrote that down? Dude, we shat on him bottom you don't remember shitting on him no dude they're like oh bro fuck deal but for real though

but they put like mustard on it shit i i should have wrote that shitting on nick and he's just like so angry he's like i should have wrote down i had some great protein bars funny because the burger actually was really good but it it's not funny, is it? It's just like. No. You guys don't get it. It was really good. Love the podcast.

Yeah, that's great. It was. Eric said it was good, too. You know? Dude, love it. It's a new bit. Three people. He's like, Nick's trying so hard to be cool right now.

So he's putting so much effort into being cool right now. Oh, yeah. Yeah, but it was a great burger. he's trying to eat it cool too oh so cheesy oh man it's such a cheesy burger i was so i was so mad at dawson we were fucking playing fortnite we're in the call he gets in the call he's like what are you guys doing and i'm like dude dawson this shit is so fun without building. And he was just like, yeah, because you're fucking bad at it. That is right.

And I'm like, you know what? Not this time. I'm having genuine fun. And I've been cut down like a tree. Dude, I got on Fortnite. And I was playing with Yingling a couple nights ago. And I'm like, hey, check this out. I go into creative. And I do the only build pattern I know, which is ramp two wall under two ramp two wall under i'm doing

i'm doing a little circle of my mouth i've always thought that feels so satisfying and nice to do and i've always thought like oh i could i could show someone this and they'd be like oh shit you can build and yingling immediately goes bro that is so outdated oh shit and i'm like i'm like what he's like you'll you won't even get the walls down. They'll just break them. And I'm like, no, it's cool. You're like, how do you know that? I'm like, I can still do it.

I'm not rusty. And he's like, dude, that's a bad build. Yikes. No. He's too hip to it. It made me maybe kind of want to LAN party. It was fun. Because we had to take computers over to.

I love doing that. It's so fun. To Yingling's house. And it was cool. Because we had to like take computers over to I love doing that. It's so fun. To Yingling's house and it was cool. You know what else happened this weekend? Me and Nick went to an old friend's house

and it was like a smash like almost a reunion. A lot of the people we tell random stories about like fucking you know active and like all these random people we bring up on the podcast.

The goat. They were all there active was there active was there dude he was there but let me let me rattle some shit i snagged a photo i want to i actually want to show this this is so if you've ever heard of uh if you've ever heard a story about active on this podcast just know this is the t-shirt he was wearing at the party yeah yeah so this shirt is so amazing. So, couple things. Update. He said, if I had the vaccine, I need to get baptized immediately.

No more guns. Oh, wow. Hasn't beat off in years. What else? That the earth is flat. Dude, what? Yeah, it was insane. He's the first human to believe all four of those simultaneously.

Was he in order? I said that's a lovely accident. Or dispersed throughout the night. It was just a swirling central point pyramid. Anti-vax, but also flat Earth, but also anti-gun? Also, the aliens are outside of the Earth dome. As opposed to inside? Yeah. Well, yeah, I agree with that. If they're inside it, they aren't aliens, really. But Earth Dome. As opposed to inside? Yeah.

Well, yeah, I agree with that. If they're inside it, they aren't aliens, really. But they're there. I agree with that. But yeah, that was great. We saw just a lot of old friends, and it was... Dude, there was this moment where I was like... I'm on a setup.

I'm playing Melee with Mega Christmas and Zeo. And they're like six times better than they used to be. I'm the same skill. I'm getting it. But I'm having a lot of fun. And it's like all these people I used to hang out with. And Frank Ocean comes on because it's our friend's house. And he's just playing.

For once, he played Drake for four hours straight. Next was Drake cut out. But then he also turned on Frank Ocean. And Frank Ocean had that album that came out in like, I think, 2017 summer. And it was just like this beautiful summer of like all I did was like play Melee with like these guys and was just like connected and i was like really it was i was sad i was nostalgic but not like in the way that it's gone because i'm longing for a feeling that is but i'm doing it right now right but it's not but it's different now and it was like i just had this like really heavy moment of like damn that was like that was the best years

of my life yeah I had this is the shirt act it was wearing damn holy shit that's a fire shirt that's not a fucking

joke brother to the audio listeners it's Ned Flanders he has tattoos he's done up like like old tattoo art he has a neck tattoo with a cross

and it says bless the hood OG family he also has a teardrop so he's murdered someone yeah he has a neck tattoo of the cross and it says bless the hood OG family. He also has a teardrop so he's murdered someone. Yeah, he has a kill. And obviously a spider web on the back of his hand.

Yeah. And he's praying to God because, you know, that's what Who else is he gonna pray to? Yeah. I was also told that if I don't get

if I get baptized in and they say the Lord Jesus or they say anything about the Holy trinity that's garbage that's trash it needs to be jesus christ or jesus but what about god no no they cut him out yeah god wasn't there not a fan of catholics this guy wait who that nobody's going son only

that's not even a that's not a sect you know what active did do at this party he rolls up and he's like who's traveling mario Party. That was crazy. And I'm like laughing because everyone was talking about it. And I'm like, oh, what's your favorite one? And he pulls out a physical copy of Mario Party 4. And he says, I got Mario Party 4 right here. And I'm like, oh, you don't want to do that, man. It's just the only game.

You don't want to do that. You're a cartoon villain. They pull out the game and you're like. But I actually didn't want to play. I was like, it's 20 turns. We're going to win, whatever. I don't want to play it. I was like, you don't want to cartoon villain they pull out the game you're like but i actually i actually didn't want to play i was like it's 20 turns you know we're gonna win whatever i don't want to play it like i was like you don't want to do that man and he was active so he's just like run it right now he's like button mashing there's no way you beat me and i'm like all right i'll smash those little hammers all right so first we ran domination i started at eight seconds yeah You know how that was. Handicap. You hit 160? Yes. Yes, sir. And then we played.

Good job, son. Thank you, dad. And then we played a full match and that was not pretty. It was just a demolition? It was a demolition. Was it teams? Although he did say something really funny where I was like, bro, I hit the cap in the matching and domination. I was like, I hit the cap every time. He says, but I have no ceilings.

And I was like, I literally look over at Victor victor and i say well what do i say about that you won the game lost the war yeah i i consider that an l from the start yeah um mario party game was not close nine stars to one yeah that's the thing it's like not fun to play it's not fun because it's like just a really long cut scene yeah that with like a very very mild skill checks of like oh can you do the mash thing still okay great okay listen if you were just described mario party to someone that hated it they would love what you just said right now why you're because you essentially said the game is like long and boring with mild skill checks yeah do you believe that if you are good enough against bad people yeah okay if i'm playing other good people, it's interesting because then there's like a competitive.

It's not a skill set. Because then the board is part of the game again. Right. Like when you're playing against bad players, the board is like waiting zone for the mini games. But the mini games are also a waiting zone because you know how to win all of them. Right. Though it's like, yeah.

Really the interesting part is like the RNG games. Yeah. It's like, oh. Most people are bad enough that you can just win all the minigames and then just mash the control on your head when it's on the board and you will win

at the end because you have so many more coins in minigame star and all that yeah because they have no board strategy yeah

I did the most fucked up shit I've ever done in my Mario Party career the other day this isn't even podcast interesting I just want to tell you

about it uh huh I was playing with Ben at Smash Camp and I had been keeping track in my head of the spaces we had landed on. Right.

And I had, like, a statistical certainty that the next, like, the roll that was next, because the number was, was a hidden block, and it was. And I called it. Ben can attest to this. That's crazy. I said, that's a hidden block.

And he landed on the hidden block. I hadn't said it the whole game. That's fucked up. I like that. That's counting cards, essentially. And everyone in the room was just like, what's it the whole game. That's fucked up. I like that. That's counting cards, essentially. And everyone in the room was just like, what's fucking reset?

Let's go next. Yeah. Oh, you just quit the game after that one? We did it actually, but they were just like, that's fucked up. And I'd never really done it before,

so I was like, I still got it. That's a good call up. There was too much drama this week. Dude, what's wrong with drama? It scared me. Wait, 90 minutes? But we still have to plug our sponsor.

Well, we can just do it at the end and then throw it in. It's a secret sponsor. Who knows what it'll be? You already saw it in the middle, presumably. Who knows? It could be anyone. We could be sponsored by dog ropes, you know?

Dog ropes. Breakfast cereal. You eat it? Oh! I love dog ropes. What is this? real you eat it oh i love dog they used to be my business my old old ass twitch uh like when you end yeah i remember that was a dog with teeth that was smiling yeah why'd you have that i googled dog smiling in 2016 and added it that's nuts when i did my first stream in 2016 you just kept it i

kept it do you think you're a w streamer? He's an L friend. No, I'm not an L friend. You're an L friend. I think you are an L friend. Tara called me an L friend. Ludwig said thank you today to Nick Yingling who brought him coffee because it was on stream. No, I always say thank you to Nick Yingling. Why?

Specifically him. Why? Because it was on stream. Can I tell you guys something? Hey. You know, yesterday, you know, I spent $60,000. What? He did. You want to know, I spent $60,000. What? He did.

You want to know what I bought? A car, I hope, or a down payment on a house? I'll tell you in the primo. What? Football tickets? What'd you buy? Goodbye, everyone. What'd you buy?

Goodbye, everyone. See you in the Patreon episode.