The Yard - Ep. 39 - Why the CEO of YouTube wouldn’t come on our show…

Episode Date: April 6, 2022

This week, Ludwig meets YouTube CEO Susan Wojcicki, QT's podcast gets demonitized, and everyone's gets back on the subject of dogs somehow.

we were on set of the the william osmond shoot uh he comes looking like absolute shit he shows up to this shoot like with like chipotle stains all over his shirt and he looks at me and he goes hey can i wear your shirt and i was like you're his fucking dresser drawer as the director i take off my shirt and let him wear it and i'm like yeah man you can wear my shirt and i'm like i fuck it here's the thing ludwig ludwig is the aaron north of uh of one take jakes and that i'll explain this aaron yeah i was gonna say he was a guitarist he was a i think a live guitarist for nine inch nails and he would um trent resner was quoted once like this guy shows up his hair is fucked up he's late he looks like shit his his shit's out of tune and then he he

plays one note and i'm like yeah he's the guy that's sick i like being that guy yeah i was at uh i was at mr beast Beast We were chatting Wait really? And I was Friday You actually went You don't know about this? He just went there for one day No okay

I thought the PJ TikTok Okay you know what You know how I know about this? Your PJ TikTok what? Your TikTok About him sending you a PJ He sent you a PJ?

Dude He sent me a PJ Did you get a BJ on the PJ? I didn't get a BJ on the That'd be crazy Oh Beast doesn't have BJ have pj on pj he probably has bj and pj money i just reject the bj and pj so he offered that no he didn't offer to so it was like there was like an attendant and then they came down they came would you like very sweet i don't even want to talk so ill of her but he said hey you want a bj on the pj and you're like no just the pj hold the bj

no i didn't this conversation the conversation did not go like that. Maybe an HJ. I'm sure he gets HJs on PJs, but I don't because I love my girlfriend. And I would never even attempt. You would never ask her. I never attempt an HJ. And you would never bring her on a PJ. She wouldn't go on a PJ.

You wouldn't want her to go so you wouldn't get the IC. She would BJ next. That's what you're saying. You don't want her on the PJ because you might get. You might get an HJ on the PJ. None of this is how I feel. I'm going to keep going. We figured it out.

Okay. So that TikTok showed up on Zipper 2's For You page. And I was like, no, she's Insta skips. What? And I go, no, no, no. Go back. I don't know what this is about. So I watch it.

Insta skips me? Insta skips. What a rat. What a snake. So I go back and this is about. So I watch it. Insta skips me? Insta skips. What a rat. What a snake. So I go back and I watch it and I thought it was all a joke. I'm like, oh, it's a joke. I literally said, oh, he's kidding. Just keep going.

And I didn't know you actually went. Did you see the end of it? Where he's like, oh, I'll see it. And then you were like, you made some joke about like. No, the end of the clip, I'm on the PJ. Oh, I skipped it by the way. That is when I said, oh, it's a joke. Keep kidding.

I guess that means it's too long. It was pretty long. I actually agree. It was long. But still, you're dumb. What is the TikTok? What is the context of this? Okay, welcome back to the yard, everybody.

Episode 74. Peeing. Sounds peeing? And I promise we won't talk about cum being inside of a human woman that came from a dog's red penis and i promise that unless you tune into the primo check out our patreon we're almost at 20k that's right oh we actually dropped down but we're early we're always almost you gotta gotta you gotta you go down to come up every first like boners you gotta be down to come back it's like it's like real

boner it's like don't come on it's like a man's boner dogs in normal boner you don't have to even say dog boners because man's boners work the same hey i don't know what to say about this one all right all right opinion on this one uh yeah that was not a meme mr beast called me on stream on wednesday and he was like like mr beast way he's like what are you doing friday and i was like uh not much i had a shoot planned uh in the morning but i was like that that's it he's like cancel it i'm getting you a pj and i was like okay and so you're getting a pj on the pj he didn't know he didn't do that he made you get the pj what are you why are you chiming in uh it look the final question on

this yeah carl fucking get involved dude actually no question. Go on. I took a PJ. I took, I literally, they gave me a time. It was like 8.30. I was like, when do I have to show up? They were like 8.15.

I was like, that's sick. This is my first BJ ever. PJ ever. Hey, well, hey, back up. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Did you fail to come from this ride as well?

It was my first, yeah, it was my first PJ ever. I'm commercial. I think business commercial was like the end all. Yeah, you get to lay down. I know. It's goaded. It was my first PJ ever. I'm commercial. I think business commercial was like the end all. Yeah, you get to lay down. I know. It's goaded.

It's all you need. But then you hit PJ territory and you're like, oh shit, there's a new game plus. Right. They got a Nintendo

in there or something? They did have a Blu-ray with the only movie being Austin Powers. Dude! Which one? It was Gold Man's.

Gold member. Gold Man's. Wow. That is so cool. Dude. Which one? It was gold, gold man's. Gold member. Gold man's. Wow. That is so cool. Yeah. It was really accurate, so I had to give him the room. The flight attendant came by. We chatted.

They kind of treated me like I was a pussy on the plane. That's great. How so? Real recognize real. So I'm bored, right? And then the flight the flight attendant was like oh you scared me there and i was like yeah yeah uh and and then they guided me to my seat and it's just me it's just me on the plane and there's like what you're saying it was private it was a private jet yeah duh dude well like judy was asking me she's like are other people flying with you from LA to

go to this Mr. Beast thing? I see. But I didn't know. He doesn't tell me shit. Like, I literally got on the plane to go to North Carolina with zero idea what I was going to do. He's like Ludwig, except he does this to other influencers. Dude.

You know what I mean? Dude, it's just a regular plane with all of the seats removed, and there's just one coach seat. It's in the middle. It's in, it's like, yeah, it's like J-12. It's like the Razor April Fool's keyboard with the one button. The flight attendant still guides you there.

There's a little space. She goes, oh, enter through the right door. Are you comfortable being in an exit row? One of those single seats that they use to shoot the safety videos. Yeah, yeah. Dystopian. Yeah, there's 12 seats.

There's like a little caught lie down bed situation uh and i go to sit down in one of the seats and i buckle in because i'm ready for takeoff and they had like a table and i flip it up and i do all the things you're supposed to do that i've been trained to do and i start to hear them chuckle a bit from the front oh get fucked idiot and then they hop on the mic and I thought it was real at first and they start being like, taking off from LAX, should get to North Carolina

at about 3.30 a.m. local time. They're doing the whole pilot thing. And then he ends it with, he's like, skippity doodah, skippity day. He might as well be like, my oh my,

you're looking really gay. You're getting diced up. Yeah, they're just owning me On the mic And I'm like why Why I'm just doing the things You're supposed to do

What if he's like We're gonna be landing And the weather's about Gonna be about 76 degrees And Ludwig lied People died Yeah let's slime on It's a bald guy in the front

Yeah So I'm getting diced up But it's I mean it's still sick Cause there's just like There's an armoire full of snackies that was it snacky bears just had a bunch of drawers with snackies and i and i and i pocketed a lot of snackies looking like a looking like a snapchat break room baby a little bit yeah i

brought my trader joe's bag uh yeah it was crazy how was content with him i know you probably can't leak but uh yeah i can leak yeah i can't leak too much it's they do crazy things i will say the person who flew before me by the way was will smith oh right before me same jet to go to la so is it a uh is it a jet like a rental thing i watched a windover video where it's like a lot of people don't actually own the pj they just like lease it yeah yeah yeah yeah it's like this is the company and i asked the woman and it's like a crew of six work with this jet it's like four pilots and then two flight attendants and they alternate shifts and they go to like miami la and what was the advantage of a page versus a commerce probably zero yeah it was i think mostly and i found this out later because i was talking

to the one of the the assistant directors and he was like, yeah, we actually had a long conversation about whether it was worth it to do the PJ but Jimmy just told us that it'd be worth it because the clip was cool and it got on

Zipper 2's For You page so I can't argue fast. Are PJs still like bound by having a certain flight schedule or can they fly whenever they want? I have no clue.

I mean, it seemed like a random ass flight. It landed at 3.30. I would say maybe you can fly whenever you want. Maybe the benefit is that it's it seemed like a random ass like at 3 30 i would say maybe you can fly whenever you maybe the benefit is that maybe the benefit is you could fly right now you need to like clear clear it like there's still communication with like air traffic control and shit like that but you can like i don't know it's actually interesting like uh because my dad flies like small planes and uh hearing the way they communicate and land at big airports,

even though they're just this little tiny guy, there's some sort of system. I bet on the air traffic control, the pilot's like, and gay air traffic controller says, what? What was that? What was that?

No! Cockpit just starts going wild. Well, the thing about that is when you do, when you're on the radio line, you can hear all the pilots on the same radio frequency. So all the other pilots could get on comms and laugh at you at the same time. That's so hype. It's also cool because your dad's planes don't have steering wheels.

They just have like a straight lever. Yeah. And they just pull it. You just pull it and you're going. You have to press E and then it just goes. Did you see the thing in the Discord? I tagged you in it. Somebody made a straight shot calculator. Yeah. press e and then just just did you see the thing in the discord did i tagged you in it somebody

made a straight shot calculator yeah they they used global airport uh data to plot every possible straight shot route on earth yeah but it also includes the runway yeah so if you're turning off the runway like don't fucking talk to me. No, no. Yeah, it's straight to straight runway. Okay, good. Yeah, yeah. That's so cool. Dude, for the world, it's not that many. It's very easy to look at.

Maybe for you. Also, presumably, right? If you just always do straight lines, there'd be so many. It'd be such a problem. Everything's a straight shot if everything's a runway. That's why I always say it. That's right's right also now you have something to talk about courage with yeah yeah i will hit him i'll be like yeah i took the pj the other took the pj out and he's just like haha i took the ppj the private private yeah yeah it's not the pbj online he keeps getting

me throws an egg on your fucking head he bull, he bullies me. I'm getting bullied by Courage. That's the enemy. Courage and pilots. I'm getting bullied by Courage JD. He's giving you a noogie. I will say, we can say this because I think it'll be released by then, but the Susan interview is coming up tomorrow. Right. I'm interviewing Susan Wojcicki of YouTube.

That's right. And I messaged Courage to enter my Fortnite tournament, which is after. She's double dipping. Yeah. Didn't know that. She's going to courage right after me i know i know and then she's going to a dog pound the street because she's adopting she's adopting

oh man you don't know how much it warms my heart that you're just down to run that one oh my god it means a lot to me. When I talk to Jeffrey, I'm going to have to tell you to mute it later. He's going to be in this room with Susan, pull up a picture of a Labrador. How does this make you feel? What do you think about this? I do have a few bits. Originally, when they hit me up about doing the Susan interview, I was like, oh, this is great.

And I wanted it to be like between two ferns. And then they hit me up, and they're like we're gonna keep it a stack if you're looking for funnies you're not looking for susan and i was like fair yeah fair dude there's a security detail they they literally scoped out the house i was here they were i was talking to people they wanted to know all the entrances all kind of shit yeah like yeah that makes sense this person's like pretty important he's high level i imagine if you're like that high level and also a woman that it's pretty it's pretty like you probably get it's like probably like streaming i imagine sexist ludwig sexist more at 11 that's not where that thought you're right dare i say it has nothing to do with her being a woman

find out more no i i think I think it might be harder. So you don't think she's good at her job? Is that what you're saying? Is that what you mean? Do you think that it's good that she gets paid less? Are you going to tell her that? What do you mean? What's going on, guys?

I feel like you're the one that... No, I'm not double teaming. I agree with you. You're literally the one that said Susan... This guy! You said verbatim just now, Susan Wojcicki is a female... You're bald!

Didn't Susan Wojcicki make the Matrix? She's the basketball reporter. She lets people know when LeBron's here. Oh, man. Look, bro. Tell her congrats on the Matrix score. Ask her about why they canceled Sense8, bro. Yeah, those are like the bids I want to run,

but then I feel like she's just going to be like, oh. It's just going to be like me dunking on one of the child's nets. Like the Tonka nets. I do think it's strangely, this whole thing is very casual. I didn't realize this until I talked to a normal person the other day about this, that the CEO of one of the biggest companies in the world is just coming to the house on Monday. Is it Fortune 500?

Well, it's owned by Google, so yeah. But as a standalone, does it still count? Probably. Or is she under Google's umbrella? That's a good question. She's technically under Google's. It's a holding. Alphabet's the holding company.

Oh, Alphabet.com. Alphabet.inc. ABC. There's no YouTube stock, but there's Alphabet's the holding company. Oh, Alphabet.com. Alphabet.inc. ABC. Like, there's no YouTube stock, but there's Alphabet stock. Yeah. The band letters, you have no idea how crazy that list is. There's one that looks all fucked up. It's crazy that B looks

like boobs and they left it in. That, actually, there's a Wendover video. I don't know about that. Yeah, I'm actually really looking forward to it. i think it'll be hype yeah i think you're good enough at like for instance i think the disguised toast podcast like that was pretty much a brick but you were able to keep it kind of fun when also the one

the normie one where they interviewed colin smear i thought that was great i thought it i thought it was more like what we can often put into situations where he has to be the funny guy and he does pretty well. So there's a lot of trust there. My goal is like five good jokes, laughs, and then probably just straight shooting. Yeah. Just straight. Let's talk about YouTube shorts. Yeah.

It's going to be so interesting. And I got a few bits lined up for that. I'm allowed to be in the house. Yeah. You actually do have to be evacuated. Wait, what's happening? He's just a liability. Oh up for that one, too. I'm not allowed to be in the house. Yeah, you actually do have to be evacuated. Wait, what's happening? Why? He's just a liability.

Oh, you specifically. Slime. Oh, I agree. You guys are fine. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We'll probably all get dinner. Hit it off with Susan. No.

They're the most similar in age. I'm going to shake her hand. This is the one guy who I don't like introducing you to. You don't. Can I hit her with the you got something on your shirt thing? Oh! Hey, Susan, there's a dry puddle. Watch out, watch out.

Watch out for that dry puddle, Susan. That one's tougher. If you get her with this one, though. Shit, bro. The security guy will break your fucking head. Yeah. Like a rabbit. That'd be so hard if he just breaks your finger.

He just snaps it. I tried to go up and he catches it. Oh, dude. All right, we gotta talk about it, bro. We gotta talk about it. Talk catches it. Oh, dude. All right, we got to talk about it, bro. We got to talk about it. Talk about what? Before night, bro. You're back in.

Hey, well, well, well. Well, well, well. Ludwig comes crawling back to the A-team. Here's what happened. I come up. Okay, I made that video. By the way, a lot of people thought the video I made, like too many people, which is like a handful, thought it was real, which is fucked up.

There are literally people like theory crafting on Twitter. Like I actually think this is because like he said some stuff about Riot and stuff like that. And I was like, holy shit. Context, it's because I'm doing Fortnite Mondays. Now rebranded to Ludwig Mondays featuring Fortnite because that's Fortnite guidelines. Nice. Really? Yeah, you can't do something Fortnite. That's better because if Fortnite ever dies

because of something happening up top. Featuring something else. On the island. I swapped the Ludwig Mondays, the Monday stay. The invite only Fortnite island. You know, that they might make. That they take PJs to. That's right. And so I was making the new captain list and I'm not going to play this week and so i was i was making the new captain list and i'm not gonna play this week

and so i cut the yard team because aiden doesn't play anyway uh and then and then you were all pissy about it and then you went off and made a video you say i'm pissy i was actually hurt you were yeah you're all pissy it is funny you say pissy because slime comes to me and he goes i am actually very sad well i said to nick too i was like bro here's like i had to wait the news to him wait why would you cut them why do you just play with them and somebody else i'm not playing oh you're not playing i'm not playing period it's not like i abandoned them for news i am not playing at all they don't have the social standing to join ludwig they were also it was also a bad squad why Why are you shaking hands? What was a bad squad?

Our squad was terrible. We were second to last. Dude, a lot of people are terrible. We were second to last. It's not... Well, you're literally not inviting good players because everyone's bad at the game. Yeah, what I'm going to do in the future

is only invite the first seven teams back and then the bottom teams will just get eliminated forever. Goodbye. That's not a rule yet. Here's the thing. Ludwig, I think ultimately it's reasonable. I felt hurt because of two things. One, he had us on at the start when he wasn't sure if it would pop,

and now that it popped, it's like, well, get the fuck out of here, you unclouded pussies. And I'm like, that kind of hurts. But the second part is I was excited, and I was like, we're playing next week, right? And he laughed at me. And that was what hurt more. He didn't say, look, bro.

This is the DM that I painstakingly inspect Elemented on. This is not real. If you don't know, it's because the top DM is from a couple days ago. Well, the top DM is the real one. I got sperm inside my pants and also some shit again can you help me i would never message you about that i'd message cutie that well what if she's gone i would still message her she would know a good cleaning

solution i'll just read out loud for audio dude i had so much fun playing fortnight with you and the boys next week's gonna bang ludwig i'm not playing in this one so you won't be able to play slime wait what do you mean? Can I be a captain? This is actually kind of how it went. And then the fourth message, no, you can't be a captain, you stupid bald pussy. You aren't clouded enough, and nobody would ever pick you to be on their team. Fuck you. That is not how it happened.

It's kind of a truth sandwich. No, the fourth one didn't happen. Because the top and bottom message are true. No, the bottom message isn't true. So I cut my team, and then I cut Stans, and then I cut QT. Because I had enough inbound from the first one where it was like, oh, we can do all new people. Him cutting QT makes me feel better.

Yeah, I mean, I cut everyone. Yeah, that's what she immediately said to me, too. She's like, well, he cut me. So I'm like, oh. It's all new people. So XQC is not coming back. Well, no, I wanted to invite the top top teams because they had like a good like rivalry and I think it made it hype.

But this is when I thought it could only be 15 because Aiden is dumb. Oh, yes. Yes. I love Aiden. Aiden is a big idiot. I'm not a big fucking idiot. Oh, we're not? When did we start this fucking podcast, baby?

Late guy. Late guy. True, true, true. podcast, baby? Late guy. Late guy. True, true, true. You were late, late robot. Late o'clock. Aiden told me there could only be 15 teams in Fortnite Mondays because it lags

if you have more, which was a lie. It doesn't lag without building. So I can have up to 25 squads if I wanted. So you're a huge lying idiot

dipshit douchebag? I didn't know this. Also, it's better for the competitive environment to have less teams this also it's better for the competitive environment to have less teams how about you look at the competitive environment for some bitches amen I knew something

like that was going but I thought it was gonna be like more eloquent no stumbling that was awesome so yeah so that so then so your reaction to this by the way is throwing a hissy fit making a video on youtube about why your band that was somewhat satire that a lot of people believed nick's solution to this was just finding a squad and actually just having friends i was just like

well i would have done that too but i was more could i tell you friend fucking dissed me can i tell you it was it was less honest than thatwig. Why? Because my plan was to join Conor's team, which was a decent team. We had Punz, me, I don't know who's fourth is, Sapnap. And a decent chance of winning one of the matches. And I wanted to change my name to Ludwig Lied People Died. And I wanted to dance at the end of our victory. And I wanted you to have to cast it. Yeah, that would have been terrible.

But now that that's not happening, it has all been resolved. Well, hold on. Before we get to that, let me say, I went through a fucking emotional rollercoaster. I put out that video because I thought it'd be funny.

I was like, oh, wait, I have an idea. I make it in like fucking 30 minutes, and then I just post it. What I didn't realize is that Ludwig's chat, Ludwig's live, while this drops, his chat becomes instantly unbearable. And he's pissed. And I felt fucking terrible. I actually couldn't sleep.

And this is hot off the heels of a discussion the house had about tickets and money in which Ludwig admitted to us that he doesn't bring up when he's mad at us. And he'll just bottle it up and then try to change the system so it never happens again well i'll be like oh fuck i'll be more fair to ludwig it's not exactly what he said he just said he prefers he prefers to let things go than talk about them yeah i'll move on really quickly before we started this podcast he says one day i'm gonna fucking knock you out so what the fuck is going on fair that was in response to you saying you're weak and out of shape now. Yeah, because you came up the ladder heaving like an ogre. You keep saying how you're going to beat me in a fight and how I'm looking weak. So one day I'm just going to say come correct.

Bro, you came up here sweating like ogre magi from Dota 2. One day you're going to have to come correct. One day you're going to go to the yard. You came up making creeper noises, dude. I like creepers uh and so so let me just say i was so fucking i was like oh god i made my friend's night shitty and the one thing that i know he loves above all things on this horrible planet he loves going live and i made that shitty for him and then i felt bad and then it's like the offline tv squad he's playing with they're like why are you trending on twitter like you have to explain it five most annoyed i've been at why is ludwig island trending

and i didn't think it would happen and then it actually got trending and i'm like damn i guess i i guess i should be careful and i learned a valuable lesson i didn't honestly it wasn't even that bad after an hour because mods locked it down, but it was top, it was very annoying at first. In top five most annoyed I've been at you this week.

This week? Yeah. What the fuck else did I do? The WatchMojo top five. My God. You know, I already moved on and the systems are in place, so we don't talk about it.

Oh, the systems, yes. The terrifying systems that I'll never know about. Can I ask, why is it that annoying because you can't interact oh that was that was annoying because because one i was just playing games so it's a very chill stream right it had like maybe 13k right pretty yeah pretty low key sure and then it's like it's like it originally starts and it's like a lot of people died why don't you invite

slime and i'm like oh yeah okay here's the reasons and then it's like and then it's like everybody wants to know the reason why people keep asking for the entire like hour and that and that's it and so chat is unusable so in my head the issue was like the hashtag is being spammed which doesn't even seem no that's not but it's because people are asking you basically the same question they're ruining his literal experience where he's just sitting and doing his job streaming yeah on twitter it's like whatever you can ignore it it's like funny it goes away in a day but this is like just fucking it like i got mad when ludwig was subathoning and i was like streaming valorant to like 200 people and people be like bro slime you gotta fix the camera you gotta fix the camera i got pissed at that yeah fuck off this doesn't happen so i i would like understood even on a

baby level because i already get mad a lot i was was like, oh no. I fucked things up. I made him mad. I disrupted his time. And so, yeah, I actually couldn't sleep. Especially here, because all I do is give to this man. All I do is give and in return, I lie and people die. Well, you did. And they did. Yeah.

I mean, when he's right, he's right. Just like you lied about the safety of your vape products and then children died. I didn't lie about this. of your vape products, and then children die. I didn't lie about this. Why was it just like an iPod shuffle? Why did it look like that? Children didn't die. I didn't make it.

It's like breathing cool air. We don't know. The science isn't out yet. It's like pineapples. It could be healthier. We could find out that dabs are healthier than breathing, and vapes are healthier than breathing, too. We could find this out.

Not enough studies. Zipper's clapping. He is. He actually is. Zipper's a big anthropomorphized zipper man. So I don't know if he has reign here.

His DNA is different. He still helps that shit. So the solution to Fortnite Ludwig Monday's featuring Fortnite on the special island that only secret people can go to. Can we leak our team?

Yeah. Yeah. It'll be over by now. It'll be over. I think it'll be. So my prediction because our team is going to be Jerma.

Me, Jerma, Slime and a fourth that we haven't found yet. That think it'll be. So my prediction, because our team is going to be Jerma, me, Jerma, Slime, and a fourth that we haven't found yet. That's right. Yeah. Because Jerma had trouble getting a squad. You're banned as shit. Don't even ask. Yeah. I do not want to play. Don't ask because you're banned as shit. You need to not ask. Again, it's very hard. Because if you ask, the answer will be no.

It's never a problem. It's interesting how much he wants to be on the team. Can I speak for him for a moment? Yeah. Can I please join, guys, please? So you'll be Aiden again? Okay. Guys, can I please play?

No. Okay. No. All right, that's fair enough. You can't play. I'm the shit in Aiden's diaper. Yeah. Oh, I got all my shit.

Hold on. You're eating your own shit in your diaper. Wait, no, he was eating it. He was still Nick. You were Nick in that. No, I was the shit in your diaper. I was supposed Nick You were Nick in that No I was the shit In your diaper He was eating it We switched

We switched Cause I'm He's the stunt double No he's eating the shit Nick was Ludwig was also eating the shit Nick we all eat the shit I'm eating your shit

Out of your diaper Why is this fucking weird Nick ate it for fun I ate it cause I'm you But Nick is still eating it Either way You're such a fucking That's gross

You're just the worst I'm sorry you don't like fortnite i'm sorry we i we did talk in the car i was like dude i bet aiden wants to fucking be on because germa's on the squad and nick was like uh-uh i said no no don't bring it up because he'll say he never wants to play at all anyways and we'll lose and he'll win yeah you will so we were ready to gaslight yeah uh because we knew what you'd say we had a plan bit easy all right going back though we're on it we were because this is it happened, but even though I'm saying it before it happened, on a team with Jerma, and I bet it was fun.

I bet we had a lot of fun, and we won. We got two victory royale. Let Eamon play. Let Eamon play. Dude, no. I hate this guy, and I think he's right. We played with him a couple nights ago. He's cracked.

Yeah, he's fucking sick. I will say there is a squad, though. I tweeted it out today. It's Tarek Shroud. What? It's Timmy and Nadeshot. Why? All of those people are immortal and up in Valorant.

What the fuck happened? They've never played Valorant. I thought you weren't letting hot shit go in. No, but they've never played Fortnite. They've never played Fortnite. Tarek literally is playing today, and I watched, and he was the first squad eliminated. He did say he was terrible at it. He's literally terrible.

It doesn't transfer like that. Will you ever let Myth play? No. This is what I said last week. That Fortnite's one of the only shooting games out right now that you can't just turn on and be goaded because you have gamer genes. You have to play it. Yeah. Well, I disagree because I think having... Bro, look at that team and they're bad. No, no, no. I think having Battle

Royale experience is paramount. Trout does. I know. That's why it's fucked up. Trout could be good. We'll see. Tr, no. I think having Battle Royale experience is paramount. Trout does. I know. That's why it's fucked up. Trout could be good. But we'll see. Trout will be good because his Battle Royale level is probably 99.

He's got game sense. But, you know, we'll see. I'm fine with it. I think it's alright. It's your fucking event. I don't care. I'm gonna take Trout's head off. And then I'm gonna do...

I'm gonna do that one. No, no, no, no, no. Dude, I'm actually kind of bummed that it's happening. Part of me wanted to cancel it because it's going to, I know, but it's going to literally overlap with the finale of our forward slash place. Oh. Because that ends at 9 p.m.

And Fortnite Mondays will end at 8. Wait, how does, I thought our place is indefinite. I thought it just goes on and on and on. It's four days. If you don't know, our place is April Fool's meme from Reddit where you can place one pixel every five minutes and art and on. It's four days. If you don't know, ArtPlace is an April Fool's meme from Reddit where you can place one pixel every five minutes and art pieces are made from that. Yeah.

And it's been going on for a few days and it's four days and then it's over. Oh, I didn't know that. And then it's enshrined as like the final piece. For the year, right? Oh. No, no, no. They haven't done one in five years.

Oh, shit. Yeah. This is a landmark event. Also, crazy fact, the guy who made ArtPlace was a Reddit employee whose name was something Wardle. He went on to make Wordle. No!

Yes. Really? Yes. The guy who made Wordle made r place and his name's Wardle. Dude, that guy's probably... Because he sold it to the New York Times. He made like one milli. That's a hot milli. I thought he would have made more because it's such a big game. It's a quick and hot milli. It is a quick milli. He made it for

his wife, right? Yeah, he used to text the game back and forth to her. I'm hoping he gets more fucking wives. You know what I mean? Yeah, we need more wives so we can get more games. Get that guy on a PJ. Get him on a PJ? We'll hook him up. On a PPJ. We got like the new cultural meme. So anyway, it ends right there

and I want a piece of art because I tried to i made the yard logo yeah it was hype france fucked us oh we were fucking france for a while though we will literally 30 minutes and now france is all over the map yeah uh by the time this comes out it'll be it'll be it'll be done so so hopefully we'll we will have fucked france to our content i i don't think we have what it takes. Radstad's just skipped that one. What's up? Radstad's gonna cut that out, just that part.

I wanna fuck France. You can say that. Yeah, that's okay. Because you can say it in French. Because they're people of loves. They're people of loves. And you try to say son of a bitch. Huh? You try to say son of a bitch. I try to? Yeah. Yeah, you're trying how do you

say it feast the poop look at his lips look at his lips get all dunked out it's a different you it's a different you look like you're gonna go back it's a different vowel sorry i'm the only bilingual one here does it culture you shouldn't get angry that i am trying to learn i am angry that you're i'm trying to learn i'm bilingual i listen to skeptic that makes me that makes me anyway yeah so i'm i that's that's what i'm i'm nervous but i'm excited for that i'm excited for the end of our place yeah i didn't know uh i i've been trying i don't like care enough but it's it's very hype it's one of those things like that's hype but i'm like i'm not gonna devote calories in my brain to it's so insanely hype and it's getting so many views i think it's xqc's peak viewership ever no was today you're smoking crack 230k today that's

what is he trying to get on there? He is, let me tell you, an evil villain. He just blows up our pieces. Zipper brought up our place. Is this right now? No, this is right now. We got a little baby the yard next to a penguin. That's a cute one though. I like everything that's around it.

Yeah, we're next to Atriok. Atriok Gambit, the Enron hat logo. Why is Atriok the same size? Well, we had the bigger one, but you know. It's true. You can see ours from space. I have a picture of it. Yeah.

I took a wide of it. People were changing it from the yard because the Y was a little higher up. In one pixel, it would be the TARD. Yeah, yeah. I did see that, and I'm like, uh-oh. Yeah, it was really easy to change it. Oh, it's happening right now. To TARD. This is live.

Yeah, they're trying to fuck with it right now. Yeah. So there's a chance that 8.59 p.m. happens Pacific time. And then it just ends as the TARD forever. And that's a fear of mine. We just got to hold that. I wake up in a sweat about that. Yeah.

Love to see it not end with that. Yeah. Yeah. Would love it. You don't get to pick everything in this world, Aiden. Like, I would have loved end with that. Yeah. Yeah. Would love it. You don't get to pick everything in this world, Aiden. Like, I would have loved

if you showed up on time. I would have loved if it was the art. We would have loved that, but you didn't. Things I'd love. You showed up with a banana and a Red Bull.

I was busy. Like, you're fucking Britney Spears. I was doing shit. Yeah. What were you doing? What were you doing, man? What was the shit you were doing?

What shit were you doing? Cat. Ollie. Oh! Dang. Aiden sends a group message to the three of us last night he's like i'm gonna tell you guys i love you guys so much want me to read it out you guys my best friends slime instantly just says lmfao a lot of us yeah he wrote hey you know

what keep me out of those ones i was just sitting in the call watching you guys play fortnite for a while and i was like it started at war with myself setting this because i know you roast me and I was just sitting in the call watching you guys play fortnight for a while It started at war with myself setting this cuz I know you roast me and that's okay, but I love you guys so much Don't read it like that. Don't leave it like a Road it what the fuck you're all so important to me and I know I'm off a drug, but I say it normally Yeah, now I'm the best why I really didn counts yeah now I'm embarrassed because he's reading it like that like what he's over enunciating all these words

dude it's pompous he's right he's like you're so I got a little stank on it you put stank on it they call it the molly stank what do you want from me a little hot sauce

molly's hot fresh stank yeah I don't it's kind of like how Ludwig doesn't like hearing I'm sorry I don't like hearing I love you if you're drunk I don't, it's kind of like how Ludwig doesn't like hearing I'm sorry. I don't like hearing I love you if you're drunk. I don't fucking care.

I wasn't drunk. Checkmate. Yeah, actually. Dumb atheist loser. I guess I'm an atheist loser. How was Molly? Is this your first time? What is this?

It was my first time. Okay. Corwin, what do you think of this? No! Sound off in the comments below. Don't ask Corwin. I started a sidebar with Aiden about it. I was like, how do you feel right now? And he in the comments below. I started a sidebar with Aiden about it.

I was like, how do you feel right now? And he's like, I feel sick. Like swag sick. Okay, that's good. Because I thought malady. And I was like, that's cool, man. Yeah, it was fucking tight.

I always get really nervous about making people feel bad when they're on a drug. Because I don't know what that's like. it's a hard drug to feel bad on i will i think i figured that out it's like it's pretty hard to have like negative emotions about things and i fucking don't want everyone to talk to you again dude totally yes like i get you that makes so much sense you like fuck a wall like how does it no? No, I don't. It was not. I feel like people's descriptions of it until this point always made it, gave me this underlying idea that it would be like vaguely lustful. Yeah.

I feel like you fucked a door and made out with an Uber driver. No. Opposite order. Okay. Yeah. Fuck the Uber driver, made out with a door. No fucking was involved. No one fucked each other.

No coming. No coming. No one came. It sounds like kind. No coming. No one came. It sounds like kind of a waste. Were there women in cages? None of it? No. No.

No dogs. So you just don't know how to party. Your friends are fucking nerds, man. I know. We did the drugs like nerds. It was like so tested and measured and everything. It was so safe. Does it not make you a nerd?

Anyone watching, testing your drugs, does it not make you a nerd? anyone watching testing your truck Does not make you a nerd Fentanyl is it's like a bit of crazy little cringe Somebody says it you want your heart to beat a little while you leave one untested and everyone Russian roulette. Yeah These is fat no little hot shot for the boys Jesus Fentanyl. A little hot shot for the boys. I asked 10 YouTubers to do one drug.

That's great. I think it was just like a really, really enjoyable experience. I think the main weird... There was this really weird part where it sort of just kicks in initially, and my head just felt like it never has before. Like I've never felt that feeling like compared to anything else. Do you feel like your serotonin reserves are dumped right now

and you're just a sad little baby bear? No, no. Afterwards? I feel great. I actually think it's a perfect drug and everyone should do it. You sound like you're a spokesperson. Hold on, so the person I went with,

like the person I drove up with was really, really adamant about like all the steps and like supplements that you take up with was really really adamant about like all the steps and like supplements that you take like when you take mdma and like like protein uh like i mean not literally protein but like fucking like gear and like i don't know like magnesium i like we took like basically just took a bunch of vitamins like before and after and that like helps you not feel like shit and then you drink a bunch of water while you're on it and uh yeah it was fucking great it was really weird because i think

you know we've talked about this before where it'd be like it would just be like how i already am but like more um i think for watching other people do it is kind of strange because you see them come out of this shell that they're clearly like always in and they operate on a very like different level with you than normal. Not that they aren't saying things that they normally wouldn't, but they feel more comfortable just speaking to you about anything. And that, that was really cool.

But for me, it was like nothing I'm saying or doing right now isn't something that I wouldn't do with this person already. You already do that to Uber drivers. Yeah, you're a bad high watermark for this because you're just already Canadian. Yeah, and Canadians famously don't like ecstasy. That's why the fentanyl crisis started in Alberta, actually, because they needed something harder.

They needed something to take the opposite of an edge off. That's why these two are the ones you want to do, Molly. I did it. No lie. I had this exact thought last night. I'm like, if there was one drug that I want Nick to do, it's this one. I was like, this is it. You are, okay, relaxed, by the way.

You think you find out the real me like the weekend, bro? Yeah. You're not finding out. You'll use up, Molly. Dude, I remember a while ago't i will not name this person but there's like a an e-sports competitor doug that i know yeah i was doug and that i that i know and um they were saying that they the person that was with them they did molly and this person is very stoic just doesn't really talk doesn't really emote ever this person was very stoic, just doesn't really talk, doesn't really emote ever. This person was just like crying, just like, I'm so happy.

And I was like, that's crazy. That's almost like sad. Well, it's not like the person is a sad person. It's just like it unlocked that thing, which is kind of interesting. Beautiful. You know, you should just be able to get there alone, which is what I do. I wear my heart on my sleeve. Yeah, you do.

Yeah. No, you do. Yeah. But not like he's describing. No, like him. It's a little different. Like he does like he's describing no like him it's a little different like he does i think it's different we're not the same how is it different you're not the same you wear no you know you wear your brain on your sleeve yeah not your heart yeah don't that one not that one keep her in keep her locked up yeah uh. Fun weekend. Good group of people. So fun that you showed up late. True, Aiden.

You have to deal with this. Had nothing to do with the drug. Oh, did it not? Had nothing to do with the drug. Really? Look, I hate to pawn off blame onto others. Do you? But I will.

When it's necessary, I will. Bringing you to his edge. Just bring him to the point where his name drops. We were just like in this tiny... Dude, we were in fucking Kernville, California. It was like the tiniest fucking town in the middle of Central California. Just like a middle of nowhere.

Dude, I've lived here my entire life. I had to look that up. Yeah, it was a... I did not know where it was. Kernville. It is big. It is big. Kernville.

How many people live in Kernville? We went through Bakersfield on the way to get there, and I was like, damn, Bakersfield does seem as shitty as everybody says it is. Yeah, you got to pour a red line out on the window. Hey, guys, do not pirate content. But also do check out nordvpn.com forward slash the yard. You can get around region locked content like anime desu.

Yeah. You can watch anime with this shit Uh-huh. That's how we watch made in abyss the movie with the Australians wait really? Yeah, we use Nord VPN because it's not available in NA Netflix. That's fucking crazy But you can get it in Singapore you got access to more more TV more more sheet Nick If you get access to more sheet, And if you want to be protected online, NordVPN.com, the yard. Fuck slime.

It's a condom for your computer. It's a condom for your router. Let's go. Nord, get yours. Back to the regularly scheduled yard now. I saw, this is like unrelated, but I saw the craziest guy driving the other day. So I'm driving.

I got a new car. I'm just like driving it around because I like driving it. I'm excited about it. I'm driving. I look at my rear view and I see, I'm not kidding. I see Ronald McDonald in my rear view mirror in the passenger seat of a car. Not a real man. I see a, I see what looks like.

Is it like the plastic statue you used to see at old McDonald's? It's like the one that sits on the bench in front of McDonald's. Dude, I've given so many blowjobs to that statue. Like one-to-one? Like actually a stolen version? It's stolen. Right. I've seen them so many times.

This guy stole one. This guy, I wish... So I was taking an exit, and he was going like 85 to 90, so he was passing me. So I almost like got off and followed him because I wanted a picture so bad. But then I got a full glimpse of his car. So first of all, the guy looked like a juggalo with no makeup. Second of all, his car had the Blue Lives Matter and Red Lives Matter and every Lives Matter flag except for Black Lives Matter.

Oh, okay. All over his car basically the entire police force doesn't he just say all lives matter except black lives yeah he really should be more efficient just have one have one sticker but instead he was just supporting like anyone who likes carrying guns or water he wanted to cover the full car and so he was completely covered he had two American flags on flagpoles flying behind the car like he's driving a sedan though he's on a truck yeah i was gonna ask what kind

of car is he's driving like a like a like a shit camry or something okay okay and uh and then it affixed to his passenger seat is the ronald mcdonald plastic statue that sits on the bench hiv and it's buckled in i I presume to keep it there. Safety. And he just zooms by and I was just like, dude, new guy. I love that he's buckled in. He is the only guy like that I have ever seen.

He just hit a lick, dude. Dude, there was a guy like that with a truck in New Hampshire who had this massive Trump 2020 flag on the back of his car and then a giant

American flag. And Ludwig pulls up to the same stop sign as him. Cause it's, it's a big road where you can like turn right. Oh, it landed. Turn right or left.

And Ludwig pulls up next to him, rolls the window down and honks. He's like, fuck. Yeah. Yeah, brother. And like,

and then the dude like, like nods at him, like fucking sends him a little salute back. And then Ludwig leans out the other window. Cause it's a three way stop. and he looks at the other cars. You guys should be like that guy! You guys should be like that guy! That's so fucking funny. Do you get bored?

Yeah. I was telling Nick on the way we came back from lunch Wait, can we ask him first to settle it and then tell you what you said? Yeah, yeah, yeah. When you're alone, do you talk to yourself out loud? Oof, that's tough. Yes yes and well like so not recording not recording you're recording zero recording zero streams you're preparing for streaming yeah you're not you're not rehearsing you're not anything you're

just like you're driving do you go just like like uh damn that's a big old sign or whatever more practically but yes okay like like okay i'll give you two examples when i talk to myself one it's like if i'm playing a game and i really need to focus i do this in probably remember but i'll like start talking to myself to like organize my thoughts that's one time for instance i'll say all you do is fucking grab that's all you fucking do no but you just fucking grab but you're in a room with someone did you do that yes did you do that with i'll do it when you were streaming like jump king or any game like that there'd be these moments where you're kind of like talking to yourself but it didn't really

feel like it was directed towards chat that's like you're kind of doing that yeah yeah like i've played simply i guess somewhat recently and i'll do the same thing i'll be like all right all right but you don't but you don't talk and that's like you're kind of like setting reminders to yourself verbally instead of talking to yourself like slime does where he'll literally just be like less like narrating but i also do in the car i speak french to myself a lot what do you say i'll just speak no i will it's like it's like when you beat off with your other hand your less dominant hand i work on my act try to sharpen my accent a bit because some words are just hard to say so i'll just speak i'll just speak and i sometimes you know what i do i do this a lot actually is i will pretend i am having a conversation in my head or out loud uh that i'm

going to have i do that all the time so either it's like a video that i'm gonna make and i'm basically saying what i'm gonna say in this or like a story time or it's like all right i'm gonna talk to susan tomorrow so i'm like all right susan let's talk about that last name and it's like i'm having the conversation out loud i'll settle for a tie yeah so what i was saying is that they i was thinking that ludwig and i are similar because i was thinking about last week when he's saying that he doesn't have an outlet so he'll just run bits because he just needs to like vomit out expression right and i'll do this thing where it's like if i haven't taught like when all you guys left for uh for christmas it was a couple years ago and i was just alone in the house i was just like screaming to myself just like for the sport like like my for instance like my

i would not do that sorry for the audio listeners aiden is screaming girls for like for my ikea shark sometimes i I'll be like, Shark! Shark, what are you doing, man? Like I'll talk like... That's so funny because it's like it's Shred, like it's Durs or something, but it's just inanimate objects. Yeah, it's like my shark. It's like you're Andy trying to catch the toys in action. Yeah, but I know that they're not...

Or like my little sloth, I'll like tell him I love him a lot. I do that a lot. So I was thinking that I think ludwig's the same because he just has this like fucking disease in his head right off the heels of you telling us you want to move out by yourself that's right yeah i want to live without it's also so funny because like holding that against your online persona where you tell someone like don't ever fucking talk to me ever again and you're seeing you're a little bear and you're just like I love you bear little bear man

I have this picture of Anthony that I took because he left his door open one day and he fell asleep on the floor and he's cuddled up with his sloth just like curled up curled up on the floor it's so fucking cute it's so cute that's the real me yeah

it's so funny because there's the asshole that TikTok sees like flaming Sykuno and then there's man who hugs and tells his sloth he loves him on the other hand. Which I do. Why do you have no...

He does both things. Why do you have no animate objects that you do that to? Yeah, why don't you love humans? What are you talking about? I talk to the cat all the time. You don't go to a human and you like i love you man that's not true i did that to h rock he gives me huggy bears when h rock was here i told him how much i appreciated

him being around and he was pissed because he watched age of empires oh that was really funny oh right and that was a bit and then he put when my dad died he apologized to me for that do you know that no yeah so that's what it took that means if you fuck him over again you're done yeah i don't have any more parents to lose brandon you ran out of dick ah he actually got me this shirt i should shout out he got me the shirt for christmas he brought it to me like last month because he was here uh-huh and uh he's like bro i got a sick present for a sick ass presents because i sent him like a hitman thing he just didn't want to send it but he got me this this is the 98 spurs or whatever playing starcraft on plane it's a hard

shirt you guys talk to yourself yeah i'm alone yeah but i'm like lovely yeah i can imagine nick muttering over like a chess position like that that's what i'm imagining when nick's talking i'll just kind of be driving and i'll just be like uh like i'll get mad about something i'll be driving i'll be like i do all this shit i'll be like god i have so much fucking shit to do i'll say it out loud like i'll just say it to myself yeah dude do you ever think about something that's really embarrassing in your past and then you just be like ah yes oh yeah you got to get it out all the time i say it be like i audibly explain because it's so vivid and i need to like banish the thought that's so fuck funny. Like just like to get it away.

It happens like so viscerally too. It's happened a few times where I, you know how I zone out? That'll happen around people. It's like that'll happen. And then I'll think of a moment like that. And I'll just say something like, fuck. We know you talk by yourself and you're mean.

Dude, him on the mogey, bro. That was a dark era. I was thinking about the phone call where the moment I hang up, he was talking to himself about how he fucking hates me. Sure, I would never do that, by the way,

if I said that to your face, if I say that. My face? Because it's not about you. You said, fuck you, Ludwig. Yeah, I know, but it's not about you. I feel like it is about him.

Oh, yeah, that's fair. I feel like I'm a party in this. No, that's what I was going to say. I think the two... You always do this. The way that... Oh, yeah, that's fair. I feel like I'm a party in this. No, that's what I was going to say. I think the two... You always do this. The way that I... Oh, he's the gaslighter now. It's not about me.

It's not about you. When you say, fuck Ludwig? Yeah, I do it all the time. You make everything about me. Hey, you make everything about you. Not you. What the heck, man?

Not you specifically. What the heck? I, like, I... If I'm in the car, like, today, like, driving, I was trying to get back fast, and, like, people are just driving, like, fucking slow, and, like, idiots, like, not signaling car and like today like driving I was trying to get back fast and like people are just driving like fucking slow and like idiots like not signaling and fucking be like

fuck that cunt like I like I'll just say that to myself yeah I road rage out loud too yeah I'll do that and then uh the other way I started talking to myself more recently is um I'll get like a little anxious about things or nervous or like stressed and i will talk like i think i have these feelings of like anxiety or like fear that i will literally have a conversation with myself about now i'll like talk to myself and try to articulate why it's bothering me and then try to like talk back to myself to like figure it out and it relieves a lot of stress can i just can i just say red flag emoji what that's like this is like one of the healthiest habits i've ever developed that's weird guys i think it's fine you are weirder why i don't even explain because we went through everything

i think he's right the audience can connect the dots i won't connect it for them vote on your phones now vote on your phones right now you kind of like sit on this like little pit or like well of fucking negative energy or feelings right and it's like it's just kind of there and it makes you feel bad and and and if you try to like break it apart into things that why does this actually make me feel bad it uh i guess i just do it all internally i have the entire i'm a mixture of you two i have the entire conversation in my head and at the end of it i go go, oh, that makes sense. I see that a lot. That's funny.

If I speak. You give your review. I try. I try to do that, but it's not as like cathartic. I think when I think about something that way, I'll get lost in like little, I'll get like pulled aside by myself almost. And it's hard to say concentrated on like the thread of thought that is like going to give me relief. self almost and it's hard to say concentrated on like the thread of thought that is like going to give me relief but if i say it it's like this thing that has to be finished and push through yeah i do that in like the car now is it only in the car the car and the shower the two places

safe places isn't i don't do it like super often do you guys drive with music no yeah all the every day in my fucking life i don't listen to music that's true oh yeah i i drive i'm usually don't drive with music i don't well i rarely drive right so the only time i drive i usually try to catch up on podcasts i feel oh well i you're still listening i feel like i focus so much better in my car for some reason because there's like nothing else besides the road which you're so used to driving on so like when i'm in my car i don't like i don't usually listen to music unless there's other people in the car because it's like weird uh but i'll just like sit there i'll just drive and think how did i get frustrated in the car because i can't do anything all my greatest

ideas and things i want to do in achieving this planet happen when i'm trapped on the highway unable to do them you can write them down oh really pull out my phone like like our viewers do when they listen to our notebook when they take a note when our viewers listen to our podcast i didn't make it siri oh i do that all the time i do that shit all the time i open siri and yell a long note that doesn't make any sense but it has words i'll see later and realize you'll recognize yeah exactly i had a freak bitch phase where i was listening to nfl games while i was driving that is a freak bitch page that's just yeah that's old man shit on the am radio yeah no it was well it was, well, it was just on Hulu. I just pulled it up.

I will say, oh, I see. I will say, hearing baseball announcers on the AM radio, they're really good at articulating the vibe. They're passionate. Yeah. There's a reason why they're there, and it's not luck. It's insane that you can care that much about baseball. And Castellanos with a line drive, or what is that meme?

You guys know what I'm talking about? The guy that got, like he like said a slur before the game started and then he was like, well, this is going to be the final game of my career, you know, 30 years in sports broadcasting

as Castellanos. It's a line drive down. I feel like the way baseball breaks down, actually, it's probably one of the better radio sports. Probably. Because it's fucking boring as shit.

It's boring and slow, yeah. Because it's slow. Soccer would be so, I feel like, hard to follow. Especially if it's in Spanish. Yeah, because you can't just track all the... That'd make it harder for me. Yeah. I didn't get to tell you about the shoot at Mr. Bean.

Let's go. We're back. I love when Nick does that because it's the cringiest thing he does. But he also does it so often that you're getting good at it. It's my thing. I love when Nick does that because it's the cringiest thing he does. But he also does it so often that you're getting good at it. It's my thing. I know. Does it still cringe if he's good at it?

It's like saying, let's get the elephant out of the room and then getting a physical elephant out. That's what it makes me think of. That would be funny. That would be so funny. That's a good gag. You're the weird one.

Can we stop here? What's the cringiest thing you think all of us do? Before we get into the Mr. Bean. If you say exist i'm gonna be so mad exist named aiden is aiden yeah yours that okay which isn't even that bad yours is when you are mean to people oh what because it just makes me i'm like uncomfortable you're surprised in what context when i hang out with you and you are mean to people either that I know or even sometimes viewers.

When? It feels like I am at a friend's house and they are fighting with their parents. That's the feeling I get. When have I ever been mean to somebody when we were hanging out in real life? Melee. Melee. Melee. Melee.

Melee. When we play Melee. Actually, Melee, Aiden, yeah. Okay. I'll take that. But that's the only context. Even when you're mean talking about people too. Because you just get very angry.

Yeah. So that's it for you. Don't so that's it don't revel in it don't revel in it he wasn't asking he wasn't asking you i'm disagreeing he was asking you to prove it but he knows the answer yeah yeah that's the no because you change it to when you talk about being mean versus hanging out with somebody and i was like oh okay well yeah but you didn't clarify that till later so i was like yeah uh and then you bro which one bitch which one i got a song of reasons yeah okay the song is just you saying i am yeah and that's that's all the evidence you need that's the proof is self-evident actually a lack of evidence. Yeah. So, maybe even one thing. You could say one thing. Dude, you're doing it right now. That's crazy. You're doing it right now. You're being cringe. One day.

Show up late. There you go. Anyway, the shoot. Yeah. Okay, I can't leak too much, but basically my role was kind of like... You didn't tell me anything. Wait, I'd like to redeem my Aiden right now. Next time MrBeast hits you up, I want to tag along. Uh, no. Why? He did it. Next time Mr. Beast hits you up I want to tag along Uh No

Why? He did it Cause next time we go We'll all go for the yard You're a stupid pussy And he doesn't want you to come Cause like Then I would need two trips

Where I go with just you And then I'd be like Boys we can't do the yard yet It's Nick time And then I'd have to do A yard one Cause we'll do a yard one No but if you're just going for something else

He just wants to come and hang I want to see the world I want to see the world. You want to see the sausage. He's a fucking filmmaker. I mean, hey, you know- He doesn't want you to come. Next time- Fucked up, man.

Next time- You're a bad friend. I think the next time it happens, it will be the podcast time it happens, is why I think that. Yeah, man. He's just saying that it won't be any time unless it's the podcast. I know. I think that'll be next time.

Yeah, but that's the problem. Why couldn't it be another time? Why couldn't it be another time? How about after the podcast? Then we'll know. I think that'll be next time. Yeah, but that's the problem. Why couldn't it be another time? Why couldn't it be another time? How about after the podcast? Then we'll go. Why? No, then we'll go. Why though?

Me and you. Why after? Why is that a snap yes? Because we should do the podcast. You enjoy failing your friends. You're just saying. Oh, man. All I do is give.

You take pride in it? Don't. He does the give thing again. You know what? You could take it all away, and I would still just want you to be my friend And I still have it Yes

And I never have All you do is give All I do is give Name 20 things you've given me 20 paychecks True Easy Fuck

Easy clap I clicked that button Gets me there Appreciate that I was already shooting really high He definitely has We were your friends before you gave That is true

You remember that. Yeah, that was when I was taken. That was my taken phase. So we're even. Yeah, we're even. It's not you owe me. The shoe was crazy. It was an 11-hour day.

And they just do, because you ever see the video where he does the bounty hunter thing? And it's like they have an insane bit. And it's like, we have a firework that's going to launch and distract him. They blow up a bridge or whatever. Yeah, we blow up. Yeah, so that's how the day works. And it's like they have an insane bit and it's like we have a firework that's gonna launch they blow up a bridge or yeah we blow up yeah so they it's like that's how the day works and it's like sequential bits that they have planned out where these things are meant to happen

and they film it all in one day so they do one bam go to next bam go to next and my job was like because he's gonna go with them but it is also like a race aspect um i had to be at the next location before he was there in case he made it late. So I could intro it. What was the race aspect? So I was like backup beast. That's the part I don't want to reveal too much because like it'll come out. But it's just like.

Too controversial. No, it's just. Was it all races or just like two? No, race, racing. You were being racist? Yes. And that's what they hired me for actually. They need a racist guy.

Token racist. Because they apparently couldn't find one in North Carolina. I was shocked. Yeah. Yeah. They're bone dry out there. North Carolina get more blue every day. Here's the thing.

Down south, they're actually not racist. Yeah. The Confederate flags are history, not herstory. Anyway, that was the main role of mine. But it is fucking crazy because some of the things they did just failed. Like massively failed. That would have been like full on things like one thing they had like it was like a cannonball

you're supposed to shoot a target and depending how close you were is like how well you did whatever and it was a huge final target like like twice the size in the height of this room two floors tall and the wind because it was just insanely windy day, just ripped it. And they had one more target

back of one. Ripped it. Both are just GG. And it's like they just have to fucking roll with that. Figure out a backup and keep this shit up. Do they do rehearsals? No. That's why. They just prep and just do it and just bang, bang, bang. And it's so much shit all happening at once. There's these guys.

What's up? What's the crew size about? I don't even, maybe, bang. And it's so much shit all happening at once. Like there's these guys. What's the crew size? Sorry. What's up? What's the crew size about? I don't even, maybe 50 people. Jesus Christ. That's tight. Yeah. It's a lot of people. There's like, yeah, it's every time I go.

Are most of them like movers or specialists? Like people who can handle a cannonball or people who move things? Or are most of them like, you know, boom guy, camera guy, director, that kind of thing? I would say it's like a like a half were like it was like a third production a third basically like runners and then people who just do anything and then a third were just like specialists um like they had the guys from i think it's hacksmith it's this canadian group that made a real lightsaber i don't know if you've ever seen that video no yeah i saw plasma beam uh and they had

them there they drove down from canada to bring the lightsaber for one bit to use it and that's it they'll probably be in their video for like maybe 30 seconds and like they got like for me i get those guys it's like all right guys fellas yeah and uh but then it's like not 30 seconds in and out they probably also it's good it's good right because it constantly couldn't they couldn't fly with that thing it constantly doubles down on the idea that mr beast is the guy we're all here for you know yes if you focus on these other people who are in for a lot of the time it makes them more special than like your product he has an insane amount of pull over even people in your social sphere which is pretty insane yeah

yeah so i that that was that was my role and i was and i was just there dropping a few hahas a few he's and a few intros and i went i did one intro sans him because he showed up late and then he showed up and saw me doing the end of it he's like nail that i'm like yeah bitch i'm a fucking live streamer do you think that he's like a 10 take tyler on the goddamn really mr beast is a 10 take tyler bro you do the ad read and i was thinking to myself i was like a 10 take Tyler On the god damn Oh really Mr. Beast is a 10 take Tyler 10 take Tyler bro Fuck bro He did an ad read

And I was thinking to myself I was like I'd crush this I thought at least Like a 9 take Nancy No I wish He's a Tyler

I wish I wish he was a Nancy Fuck Sitting there being a Tyler What about an 8 take Edgar What do you do What was your Why did you

I guess I don't want to Spoil it But like what is What was Ludwig needed for? Literally that role. And it was also just because Carl couldn't do the shoot that day. So you're just co-hosting. So it was like, okay, Carl is gone.

Who's someone who could fill that role? And he flew you out. And he asked Carl, like, who are like your best friends who you love? And Carl was like, well, Ludwig, we love each other. Ludwig actually tells me he loves me at the end of our phone calls but I it's weird because I never say it back dude Jimmy does the same thing he goes he goes I love you and he's like after like every conversation like like and if something slightly like makes him happy like if you like make a joke you'd be like I love you like that

okay uh that's huge but every time he said it it, I was like, I thought of Nick. I was like, so I didn't say it back a few times? Yes. Yes. I'm in your head, bro. I was like, I love Nick. My friend Robbie used to be like, when he hung up the phone, he'd be like, all right, night.

And I always said that was really cute. It's daytime. We'd say night. Yeah. Funniest thing that happened though, Nolan, I don't know if you know, Mr. Beast guy. He's been in videos. He's just white guy, comb over. He's part of Mr. Beast universe.

His parents. Like Chandler? He's like Chandler, but shorter. Wait, comb over? Like, he's... You have to be bald for a comb over, right? With it goes over your bald part. Are you just talking about the hairstyle, or is he balding? I'm just trying to explain.

Isn't that what a comb over is? No, it's not. You could say parted hair, I guess. It's weird that you specified his hairstyle. I'm trying to give you a picture if you've seen a Mr. Beast video

of who this is. Got it. Because it's not Chandler or Chris and you probably know them and it's the white guy with the comb-over. Anyway, his name's Nolan. He was there.

He was part of a bit. His parents were there, right? And they're all rushing off. Everyone's rushing off to go to the next thing, next thing, next thing. And right before I leave bit his parents were there right and uh and they're all rushing off everyone's rushing off to go to the next thing next thing next thing and right before i leave his parents come up to me they're like hey can we get a picture our daughter loves you you're right by the way and i've been i've been ripping bits with with nolan's dad the whole time really funny guy being like you fuck no no one's cringe basically treating no one like amen and his dad would

double down his dad'd be like yeah yeah that's what it'd be like if i met your dad uh we're gonna me and your dad are gonna get fucking wild wet i'm gonna get wet wild your dad boy i also will do that with your father and have sex with him i want to get wet yeah not what i meant anyway so so they asked for a picture they're like our daughter loves you i'm like absolutely like i'm down let's do it we take a few pictures and i'm like great to meet you guys i leave i see noel later that night after the shoot's all over and uh and he's like you took I'm like, absolutely. I'm down. Let's do it. We take a few pictures. And I'm like, great to meet you guys. I leave. I see Nolan later that night after the shoot's all over. And he's like, you took a picture of my parents, right? And I'm like, yeah.

And they're like, okay, yeah, cool. I was like, why? What's up? He's like, well, I was talking to them at Red Lobster, and they were talking about the picture. And they said, yeah, we took a picture with Sap Snap today. No way. And they thought I was SapNap, who they misreferred to as SapSnap. They showed it to their daughter.

I love this so much. And their daughter recognized me, right, because I'm adjacent enough. And she's like, oh, cool. Why do you never meet the cool guys, though? Because she's like a huge Minecraft head. Yes. That's just hot, milky juice from my blood. I needed that. That's the ret huge Minecraft head. Yes. That's just hot milky juice from my blood. I needed that.

That's the retrick for me. That's tough. That's the retrick. That's tough, Nolan. Insane. Because I liked your dad a lot before this. So that was a funny thing that came out of it. They also abandoned me at one point.

What do you mean? Well, because when I did that picture, they all left to go to the next thing. And you don't have time to slow down because the contestants are like going, going, going. Yeah, yeah. So everyone has to follow. Crew, hosts.

And so for a second, I faltered. And the guy who's the runner who's bringing me to each location was gone. Are you filming? Are all these locations like at a different spot on like a compound?

Are you going to different parts of the city? No, totally different. Totally different city parts. Cities in general. Yeah. Be like a 10 minute drive, 30 minute drive, two hour drive. Oh, wow.

Very far from each other. So much planning that goes into that. Yeah. It's a lot. And so this guy had been driving me around everywhere. I call him. He's like, oh, he's like a British guy. He's like, oh, yeah, man.

Jimmy asked me to go with him. So, you know. And it's like, I get it. Jimmy says, get in the car. You're not going to be like, no. And so I'm like, fuck, I'm stranded. And I hijacked one of their cars. I just went into a car.

It had the keys in. I just took it. That's awesome. And I just went to the next shoot. I would have done the same thing. Because you know what? In Mr. Beast's world, it doesn't really matter. Because if you nail the next scene, right?

They're going to be like, how did you get here? I stole a car. That is hype for them. Dedicated. If you break a rental car, but the shot is good, they're like, we can pay for the rental. They're like, fuck the cost. Yeah.

The shoot was like, it was 800K. Yeah. Oh, my God. Private jet was 400, so. No. I'm kidding, kidding, kidding, kidding. I have no idea how much private jet costs. It's probably like thousands.

No, it's probably like five figures. Probably like tens of thousands. Look, a business class to London is 9K. Round trip? Oh, I guess it's like... Yeah, it's west to east. Imagine a private jet one way is probably like 10K. I don't know, though. Age.

Or they could have it rented for like a month or something and they can access it that whole month. I wasn't like that. Not like the movie pass of jets. No, yeah. Ride it as many times as you like uh fuels fuels cheap and that was it and that was it and then the return trip no pj ah you you broke ass little baby they i was i felt like an escort i felt like julia roberts

but it was the bad ending and richard gear didn't love me that's right and so to start it was pj bring me out put me in a fancy dress and I'm like, I'm cool. And then at the end, Richard Gere was like, I'm good. And then I'm like, alright. You're walking home with your shoes in your hand, bro. Yeah, it was commercial. I had like an Uber. I had two legs. Mr. Beast shaking your hand at the airport. He was like, well, it was good for me.

I came. You were just a series of holes for him. Uh-huh. Yeah. Wow. To be filled. And he'll use your holes again.. Uh-huh. Yeah. Wow. To be filled. And he'll use your holes again. He filled you out like a job application. Getting weirdly seedy about it. Yeah, I am.

Did you get a flight booked on release, or did you have to pay for your own flight back? They did pay for it. They did pay for it. A couple stops on the way. We had Sam last night after we played Fortnite a bunch. It was me and my our friend Sam and discord and we we love quoting this Tim and Eric uh sketch which is I figure what it's

called but it's Tim as like an office boss and Eric as like a large heavyset woman and he just comes he's got this hilarious like bald cap and giant like horseshoe hair and he's like what's up Carol I want to get wet with you and he and he just it's four minutes of him just saying i want to i want to treat you like a hog you know and she's just like oh that's so nice mr you know mr whatever and we were just like quoting it back and forth and i just kept thinking about mr beast going up to ludwig and just being like i want to i want to take a bite i want to get i want to get wet thanks jimmy yeah really cool really cool. You did the same thing. Glad to be here, Jimmy. Oh, my God.

It's so funny. It was a good time? It was a good time. It was a good time. It was a clean, it was a tight 36 hours. I got there and back. It's crazy because

he'll never say no to Mr. Beast. No, I've said no before. He's done this before, right? No. He's not a guy that hits you up and he's like, yo, in a month, I have this shoot planned.

It's like, in two days, you need to be here for a shoot or I will kill your firstborn and sometimes I'm like can't I've planned something with like QT or like we have like one time he asked me out I was like we got the yard I can't come out and then it's just

GG and then they figure something else out I'm sure and that's when he was like bring it bring the yard yes that's when he said bring the yard and then I was just GG, and then they figure someone else out, I'm sure. That's when he was like, bring it. Bring the yard. Yes, that's when he said bring the yard, and then I was like, I also have something. He said stomp the yard.

Speaking of holes to use, this came to my attention. Talking about your father? Recently, okay. Well, come on. Because he's going to use our holes. Come on. That guy is going to dominate me.

He's going to put me in a burlap sack. Straight shot. Straight shot. Line him up at the bottom of the bed. No turns, baby. Run up to me. He's an animal. He could put wheels on me.

Land me. He could land me and then take off too. Shit. Yes. Making Minecraft sounds. he likes it okay speaking of holes yeah you know do you read the book you keep talking about my dad oh i mean we could we will because he he's an absolute he's like a colossus of man i I don't want to mince words. Your father could step.

Corwin, you could step on. I'll call you daddy. That's right. Is this what you want from me? No, I hate this. I want to scale you like an oak. Like in Shadow of the Colossus. I want you to tap me like a maple tree.

Just drink my sap. You Canadian. Wow. I know you've got the mounted police But I want you to police me while mounting me My name ain't Timmy But I'll be your ho Ho

Whore I know your core whim But I want a win in my core You know what I mean Yeah Yeah Nick's getting involved All you have to do is jump in

And we can stop but you're just letting me know i've been taking a lot of meetings about a recent uh uh canister stroker yeah we can't call it a fleshlight yeah and i've been uh i've been chatting about this with people and uh new name by the way sir strokes a lot yeah that's great love it there's strokes a lot just made that up yeah we'll just keep that we'll just stick i already i already made the perfect name what is it too many what was it on man come on man hey yeah it was uh it was the the pogger pussy oh right pogger pussy that is good pretty good poggett pussy well it's already there you don't have to make it more You get it

It's like a pun that you made the other day too Boss what do you want to do Pog that pussy That's what boss wants And I'm a worker bee I can't piss him off anymore I was talking to somebody They were like do you know

Do you know about the vajankle I was like what What the fuck is a vajankle? I was like, what? What the fuck is a vajankle? No, that's the word game. It's just vagina anatomy. That's actually Achilles. And you know those Halloween props where it's just like a severed hand or a severed arm? And it's just like fake plastic blood or bones that come out of the end of it or something so picture like a foot like that except instead of the foot ending and turning into

like bones it is a pussy and you fuck you fuck the foot you're fucking a limb from the like if you can chop off my leg the pussy is the part that's chopped off. Right. And then you look at the foot while you fuck it. And it's still dripping in blood? And it's, well, there's no, maybe you could get

a bloody option. Only the Halloween version. It's like a, can we show this zipper? It's just like Jackie Chan's hand. Instead of a metal hole. Because I didn't really, I didn't really grasp this

until I looked at it. Because in my head, I was like, what sort of angle are you taking that at? The vajonk. You might have to send it to Zip. I don't know if Zip knows. Oh my Jesus. That is definitely

not going to be in Rush Hour 3. Is that what you're talking about? Dude, it looks so real and so wrong. This is a vajonk. Wait, why is this a thing? Oh, I hate looking at this actually. It actually kind of fucked up. It's like a fetish thing. Do you think when you get it off their toes curl? I would hope so. If it senses liquid, the toes fucked up it's like a fetish thing do you think when you get it off their toes curl i would hope so you yeah if it senses liquid the toes curl yeah it's like the monkey's paw drops one of the fingers yeah that's the new idiom the vajankle toe curls another toe

and uh i was like yeah maybe we could that could be like our secondary product uh maybe we'd get like a sample you know know what? I don't want to contribute to that. I actually think you're a psychopath. I saw that and I don't want that to be in the universe. So I don't want to be a part of creating it. I'm with Ludwig. We're the same for once. I don't work for you.

That's true. He makes his own company now. Hand pussies incorporated. I have a union and you can't. And we'll strike if you don't let me make the the ankle pussy we'll strike you couldn't even call it of a jankle right you'd have to come up with a new we'd have to come up with a new name that's crazy that that's taken yeah because it is it's like when boner master 74 is a taken gamer tag come on who

look boys i know we're bottom of the barrel but who wrote coffee on no we're not we're not we're not we're not i listen i have we should we should talk about something our our sister podcast whine about it okay whine about it struggling every every fucking week cutie stomps into the kitchen and she's like fucking look god damn it the overlords, they're demonetizing us. And we cut out every swear. And we cut out every instance of cum. And then we're standing there. Because she'll talk to Nick.

She'll talk to me. Do you guys get demonetized? We're like, no. And it's like, well, we had a segment. And we'll sit here. We'll be like, you ever the in the sex with your guns we have a jankle and then extensive extensive dog come and then we'll be like we'll be like remember we talked about women and the guys and the guys who did 9-11 did go to heaven

and sometimes we'll have stavros on our podcast and and it's a and it's a huge. So I've been thinking a lot about this. I don't know if you guys are down, but I'm pretty sure it's because it's women on camera wearing clothes, which apparently is like a problem. What if we all wore dresses for an entire episode and see if we got demonetized? I think I'm down for the experiment.

It wouldn't work. We would need to literally have four women sit where we sit because I think this is what happens, right? The way it works on youtube is you get demonetized usually by bot or mass reports those are the two ways yeah so a bot looks over the footage and they go ah bad whatever demonetized and then a human looks it over and a human has to be like okay and i imagine the humans probably just have ingrained sexism and so it's like if they're talking about sex but also like like like you know wearing clothes and are women yeah they're they're more like oh that is way more sexual and it's us we're talking about cum and i'm wearing

crocs and you're wearing i talked about a dog dog named Bruce fucking a white woman. I know, because I think they're like, oh, that's not sexual because it's just guys being dudes. It's not. I like that. That's what my theory is. So I think if we were dressed up in dresses... Let's do Ocean's 8, bro. Let's find four girls.

We'll get them in these seats and we'll see what happens. It couldn't go wrong. This couldn't go wrong in all women's yards People will love this idea It'll be like Ocean's 8 in the Ghostbusters movie It's like the Powerpuff Boys episode Both equally successful Yes

It's the gender bent Yeah, so I am interested I do think it has a higher chance We all saw me as Velma We know I'm gonna to kill the dress. They'll just say that right fucking now. No, I would serve, queen. I guess we should just do a demonetized episode.

And it's will this episode get demonetized? And we take off more and more clothing. We tried to get this episode demonetized. Right. And we just try really hard. Have none of our past 10 been demonetized? Well, no. A few of them have. So I Have none of our past 10 been demonetized? Well, no. A few of them have.

So I say like in our past 20 episodes, three have been demonetized, but two of them got appealed when we just said review it manually and they always go back. Except for the only one that didn't was the weed episode. So that's the only truly demonetized episode?

Yeah. When we did mushrooms, that was clear. It never even got put on demonetized because we only allegedly did them yeah and that's how it works if you say allegedly the only thing i was thinking about that like they do that we don't is they drink alcohol on camera but then i was like what would fucking uh uh the max mofo uh what's it was their show uh cold ones what would cold ones do they would always they would be demonetized every episode yeah well cold ones does get ferociously demonetized but then they do like massive re-edits until it's like clear because it

usually gets caught by the bot and then they'll do it before it's ever uploaded yeah that's how that's how youtube suggests it they like upload your video private and the bot will talk to you yeah and then you know you keep going through there's like two, so the episode that we got demonetized that didn't get undemonetized, the reason that I deduced from like watching the whole thing and reading what they said we violated, I think it's because we talked about foot jobs

for like a really long time. Something like that. And it was like fetish talk. You can't like do fetish talk without getting demonetized. Thank God, Vajankles on a fetish. Or dogs.

Well, yeah, I don't know. Guys, something's wrong. I don't know. Maybe their show talks about sex more, but it's probably just. Sometimes Bruce gets tired. And sometimes Bruce needs a little energy.

Not Fido. Red Bull sugar-free in his bowl. And he gets back to pumping. If you want to be a bull like Bruce. If you want to see that lipstick penis come out. I don't like lipstick penis. Dude, I'll never forget this. I was driving in the car with my aunt and my cousin as a kid.

This is your transition from dog penis? We were leaving the farm that one of my uncle and aunts owns and uh they have a bunch of sheep and you can see the sheep in the field and the sheep just like pops a boner in the field and i'll never forget what my cousin said she was like mom mom look it's a lipstick sheep and that just that that's like stuck with me because i thought it was so fucking funny that's how they make the lipstick yeah they cut it off yeah it's really a bad industry i don't like uh animal beauty products animal source beauty products yeah yeah the coffee on there you want to yeah yeah yeah i was gonna i was also one more thing to wrap the demonetized

though i think it's partially they're women. And also I think, look, I'm going to say it since I've been a YouTube, I haven't gotten demonetized so very often. Yeah. It would happen like once every, I want to say 10 to 20 for me. The crazy thing is that when we appeal,

it almost always goes back. When they appeal, it never changes. And I'm like, I feel like terrible. Cause she's like, I just don't get it. I'm like, I don't get it either. I don't either i don't get it either i don't either brother yeah and demonetize

if you don't know by the way also just it's it's not about not making money who cares it's usually it stops getting recommended yeah you lose views then that's what really that's what really it's about currency is the goddamn views wow but yeah our last one did get demonetized we appealed it and it was all good to go amen um yeah i, I wanted to bring this attention to the viewers, because Aiden did this. He's been doing this since I've lived with him, probably earlier as well, and I think it's fucking disgusting.

Oh. And I don't know. Maybe it's just me being a weird guy. Let's find out. The airing of grievances. Order! Order! I have a grievance for Nick after two.

I just thought of it. It's not really a grievance. It doesn't bother me specifically, it it's not really a grievance it doesn't bother me specifically but it's just fucking weird Aiden will get coffee he'll make it in the coffee pot this is my grievance nipple stance and it's awfully hot and it'll go cold after like two hours and then he'll take

his coffee cup and then put it in the microwave and then heat it back up and then continue drinking it. That's fine. You think that's fine? That's fine, yeah. That's just normal? You're the coffee guy.

Why is that not cringe in American? Well, it's probably cringe in American, for sure. But it's fine. Like, it's gonna taste... Because you're probably making, like, average coffee anyway, right? You're just buying whatever beans. It's already fucked. I make mid-coffee at best.

So if you're already making... If you're already using fucked... You're not buying expensive beans because you're like really into coffee whatever it's like you just you're already using fucking over roasted shit putting in the microwave will not make it taste that different are you so it doesn't taste like fuck like a prison toilet i mean it kind of does i think i think if it tasted horrible he just like wouldn't do that yeah no i disagree because i think sometimes he just does shit that's like... Aiden's interesting. He'll be really particular about something.

And then it's like, Aiden, doesn't that taste fucking terrible? And he's fine with it. Well, what I think is gross, and maybe you'll think it's less gross, is my old boss, shout out Dan. I don't know if he watches. Oh, Dan's a psycho bitch. He's a psycho bitch. So he'll, for example, on my way to work when I used to work at BTS, I would get him a cold brew.

And he would drink it to like one-fourth full. And then it would sit on his desk for like two days. He just wouldn't throw it away. It's not on his desk. And then after two days, you know, it's obviously melted. There's only a fourth left. He would take it to the break room, fill it to the top with water and no ice. Just water

to make it a full cup again and then drink it to a fourth. And I'm not fucking kidding. Do it again. And I've seen, I've literally seen him like four cycles into this where it's no longer even brown. It's just tinted water. Yeah. And I'm like, dude, was that coffee at one point? And he's like, yeah, yeah.

I don't know. I just feel. And I'm like, that doesn't gross you out. He's like, no, I just like, I don't know. I just feel it. And I'm like, that doesn't gross you out. He's like, no. I'm just like, I don't know. It's like water. I'm going to hard read him as a human. I think the original cold brew is way too concentrated and probably gets him too jittery

and he doesn't like that. Nope. He'll do this. What he also does, he'll get a latte and then he'll take it home and he'll put it in the fridge. And like four days later when it's literally half one color and half milk, it's separated and thick and gross he'll just take it out and just stir it and drink it new hard read he just doesn't like wasting he's a psycho that is definitely they call it the jigsaw americano my microwave habit is is instilled in me from dr noodle slam because

i used to never do this and uh he would make uh he'd make coffee every morning or like most mornings uh and then take you know take his cup or whatever and then like leave a pot and he went through he drank a shit ton of black coffee like every day i think he still does but uh he would do this thing where he'd leave the pot full of coffee like over the course of like three days and go back to it and reheat cups from the same that's pretty gross thing of coffee it's not like a hard resource to acquire yeah i always like i was like dude that's fucking gross he's like what it's just fucking water like i'm just heating up water basically dude he's the reason you're weird

and then i was like and then i was like yeah you're kind of right and then i do it within one day now because like what i do i've never gone right. And then I do it within one day now. Because like what I do, I've never gone to the next day. I do this every day where I get an iced coffee. I drink it to like half. And then like six hours later, it's melted. I just fill it with ice and I drink the rest of it. But I won't do that tomorrow. Like within the same day, I'll just fill it with ice and make it cold again.

Yeah. Yeah. So not to sit and have a harp on coffee mechanics and all, but I am interested. Sound off in the comments or the discord if you think he's a psychopath freak or he's fucking kind of normal. Or maybe you had a roommate that used to like sperm in your own coffee and then be like, it's fine, bro. You want to hear how Nick's a psychopath?

I would love that. I'm here for it. Okay. So Nick's footprint on the house, pretty small. Generally, he keeps to his room. Unless he cooks. Yes. Which he hasn't done in a while, and usually he orders, and it's all in his room, or he has meals or whatever it is.

But it accumulates in his room, and then he has bags, and he has to take out the trash. You do live like it's a waste treatment plant. Well, let me inject something here. I don't really do this with food. I do it with things much more so. Like with food, I'm good about like having it in a trash bag, like throwing it away. But with like objects, like maybe I have like a fucking hydro flask and a fucking glass of water. And then I have like my clothes on the floor, like things.

Yeah. But I'm not like dirty. No. I'm messy. Sure. But i'm just saying that's my distinction i did somebody asked us in the discord and i thought about it and i'm changing my answer to that person because i think nick kind of used to be the messiest but i think it's ludwig now well let me finish my goddamn story you didn't interrupt a lot you're you

interrupting i want to hear why i'm also late, but thanks, man. So Nick, Nick comes downstairs with his bag of Chipotle. He opens the trash that we have, looks inside of it. He realizes, computates this will not fit inside. Let's the trash close and then takes out his bag in his hand to the trash. Wait, hold on. Hold on. This is so fair because Ludwig watched me do this and I actually have all the info in my brain and I don't have to talk about it anecdotally.

I can talk about exactly what happened. So I go to the trash, and it is three-fourths full. There is so much room left in this trash bag. Taking it out now would be a waste. And I go, well, I have a lot of shit that I'm throwing out right now. So I'm like, I'm just going to throw it out outside instead of stuffing it in here where it would fit.

I checked the trash. It was damn near full. No, no, no. You're wrong. It was good to go. Because you got mad at me once for trying to make it fit. And so I was like, oh, I won't do this anymore if it makes Ludwig mad. Well, no, it was because you tried to make it fit instead of taking it out. There was so much room left. Nick.

I'm not wrong. The council, I'd like you to back me up. This guy's never taken out trash in his life. The council would like to recognize Ludwig's statement that Nick hardly has ever taken out the trash. True, hardly. Probably can count on one hand.

He's also never brought in the bins nor taken them out. The council recognizes this. This is the thing that I do the least. Seconds it. This is the thing

that I do the least. I agree. I agree. You've been voted off the island. No, but that's not the thing we're talking about. The council recognizes

that's not what we're talking about. But it was part of it because you could have very easily taken those bags, thrown it, and taken out the trash. It's as much work, but you left it. No, but your whole problem with stuffing things in the trash like that was not that it's full. Your problem was that it rips the bag.

So I didn't want to set up a situation where I potentially make this an unusable trash bag to take out because it's so full that it rips. So I was like, oh, I'll try to do a nice thing. I wasn't trying to do a thing that's convenient for me. Council, I took the trash out one hour later. Yeah, you're just mad about that. You're not, what happened there is not what you think what happened. The council requests to know if the trash was full when you took it out.

That's what I was also going to request as the council. It was full to take out, yes. The council would like to request to know if you put trash in there to make it full i think i had thrown out like the last item before i was like this bag has to go the council would like to know how large the last item was it was like a factor meal so like that's like there's waste in there it's a whole lot of cardboard in a container and the utensil if you use a plastic one. Council? Can we sidebar?

Oh, off. They can't even hear the sidebar? They're walking away, audio listeners. How are you doing? Doing all right. Doing all right. Hey, win or lose? You want to go do something after this?

I'm down. Okay. I'm down. It's always been me and you and you yeah at the end of the day yeah i didn't bring it up in person because it's like this will be better on the podcast hey it's squeezer i squeezed 135 with zipper in the room i could try i'm getting up there i'm almost with that i think i just squeezed really weak that one strength yeah so we're still waiting for them to come back. Ludwig's squeezing the grip strength tester. 147. Oh, you're so strong. Let me try.

I'm feeling kind of weak right now because I haven't climbed in a month because of my shoulder. Fuck. I'm still weak right now. What is it? 127. Yikes. Politics is never easy. Sure.

You know, and it's up to the responsibility of government bodies to make the right decision. I'll say it. This was tough. I was dealing with a bit of a mansion situation over there. Yeah. Just dragging him along. Yeah. I was...

Clearly, it clearly has big Ludwig in his pocket. Yeah. I mean, look, we're all fans of Ludwig here. You know, we got, he's a giver. Okay. But what we did kind of,

Aiden, how about you take the floor? So the council convened and we, we decided that Nick's story, Nick's story adds up. The details are there and the line and logic. Zipper, I want you to play audience applauding loop. Clearly, clearly adds up. The details are there, and the line and logic are just clearly line up, and it definitely makes sense with your historical criticism of him.

It even aligns with your past grievances. Right. The grievance of the past, by the way, was that he didn't take out the trash. No, no. Because that was the solution. That's not what you said to me. No, it was a character... That was the solution. That's not what you said to me. No, it was a character illustration

of a reasonable understanding of he wouldn't do this. However, the council would like Nick to understand that we sincerely believe that if the bag was full, Nick would not have taken the trash out. I agree with that. And that...

No, actually, I'd like to change my answer. You can't. That's binding. No, no. The council has decided... The council has decided... Listen. The council has decided... Council! Council! Council! that no actually I'd like to change my answer you can't that's binding no no the council decided it'll still be your own on me okay proceed you have the floor if Ludwig was in the room I would have taken it out and if he wasn't I probably would have looked both ways and not done it

here's the thing my system's already in place so I'm not mad oh shit what's your new system i can't handle not living with any of you oh that's sad man that is my system oh it's true i'm a good trash boy you're gonna miss you are the best that's what i know that's what i know for sure he won't are you gonna miss your friends no i'll still hang out with you you literally once said to me if i'm not directly in front of you i won't you're a ghost but i think we will have also systems in place to enforce that i hate you wow he's making new systems yeah i have systems on systems on systems what you are doing is you are you are a monster

you are the emotional terrorist no you are an emotional terrorist the council's decided that you are an emotional terrorist you're late to the council meeting So you're not allowed to vote That's true I'm on the council now The council would like to conclude That Aiden is cringe Pass

And he was there with the candlestick Yes and that's why Mr. Wayne died Objection Wait hold on Look things are gonna get different right Yes! And that's why Mr. Wayne died. Objection. Wait, hold on. Yeah, yeah. Look, things are going to get different, right? You're going to move out.

I'm going to move out. I'm not even going to live with these two chuckle fucks. Yeah, you know about that? Me and Aiden? Still living together. Buying a house together. Me, Nick, Zipper 2. What's your path? My path is to live alone and have a loud studio space

that I don't have to bother anybody with. That is fair. Yeah. Because and have a loud studio space that I don't have to bother anybody with. That is fair. Yeah. Yeah. Because you are a loud man, and I think you're also holding back, which is crazy. I'm not Noel. I'm not a psycho. Shout out Noel.

Yeah, but on the scale, if Noel's Trump, you're on the right. What? He's Bush. You're on his side. I'm Bush? You're Bush. Which one? Herbert Walker Christ? Your know. You're on the right. What? He's Bush. You're on his side. I'm Bush? You're Bush. Which one? Herbert Walker Christ?

No. You're Pence. You're J.W. You're, uh, you're, who's the guy who chastises? You're Mitt Romney. Okay. Yeah. He's, he's kinda, he's kinda got a backbone.

You Mormon fuck. He's kind of a, he's a cunt, but like. Mormon. He's, he's less of a cunt. You're gonna have all your wives in your new house. Yeah, all my wives will be in there. Like, Mitt wanted. Mitt.

What a fucking name. Hey, I'm not Romney, but I went to MIT. You know what I'm saying, bro? That one's good. Council, can we back it up? Come on. Redecide, redecide. That one's good.

Come on. All right. Well, hey, fellas, that's the end of the Yarn Podcast. No, it's not. No, it's not. Every fucking week you do this. No, it's not. No, it's fellas, that's the end of the Yarn Podcast. No, it's not. No, it's not. Every fucking week you do this. No, it's not.

No, it's not. I'm with him. When is it? It hasn't been enough time. When is it? It hasn't. How much longer is left now? About four minutes.

You're wrong. Did you count for the part that you made me cut? Yeah? Yeah, which was two minutes. It was a secret part that he made me cut and we'll tell you guys about it it was industry secrets that cannot be revealed unless you listen to the bonus podcast hey we're almost at 20 000 patrons by the way uh when we hit it for those who don't know slime has to dead ass wax his entire ass body ass he has to wax all the hair off of his body that is

below his neck uh because you know. I want to keep my eyebrows. Shut the fuck up. Yeah, so how the Patreon system works is that you usually lose a lot at the beginning of the month because it bills monthly, which is fine. And so it dipped down a little bit. But if you want to get on there, get on there. If you don't, whatever.

You don't get to listen to Industry Secrets or watch me get my actual butthole waxed by a professional. Anyway, watch the bonus, watch Mojo, and we'll see you next week. Peace.