The Yard - Ep. 40 - YouTube Demonetized All Our Videos

Episode Date: April 13, 2022

This week, the boys cover Black Ops 2 custom emblem boobs, Nick's skinny jeans, and YouTube (the company) conspiring against The Yard.

you like that one yeah the bar is on the floor what happened in a panic this morning dude dude. Door wide open. Oh, yeah? Front door wide open. Who did this? Who done that? Ludwin Honor? No. You were up. No, I wasn't.

I opened the door at 7 a.m., but I know I closed it because I played around in front of the door with Durs. Zipper? No, he wasn't here yet when I came out the door. It's a problem, guys. You're probably wondering, who cares if the door's open? I don't care. We care because Catman will get out. And he has a thirst for death and death alone and kitty kitty man does not know his way around the neighborhood dude he went out once and he was all scared

why does he keep wanting to go out i'm also a doomer like the moment he gets out i'm like in my head it's over it's over that is the most distraught i've ever seen you was the last time that you left the door open during the podcast Ludwig breaks down it's hype he knows that if it really happens if it really happens

I think Cutie will kill you at the very least us and then you're like real close we actually have to enter trial by combat but she's got Canute so These are champions? Yeah and I just have to fight like as me. Hold on check this out.

No I'm just kidding. I will say I was on a little vacay with Cutie and I found a cat outside on the street. You guys ate good huh? Yes sir. Yeah we ate good. A little delicious meal. You were eating cat. You? Yes, sir. Yeah, we ate good. A little delicious meal.

You were eating cat. You were eating them. I was eating a little cat. Oh, I found the cat, and it had a little collar, and it was really cute to me. It came up and rolled over. And the collar had a number. Call it. Nothing.

It had an address three streets down. So I walked the cat over, like the Kingdom Hearts mission, where Winnie the Pooh has to follow you, but you can't get too far away. Oh, so you didn't pick him up. No. You just like led him. I would like walk and then the cat would walk with me and then occasionally would get like stun locked by a car.

Yeah. And I'd be like, and then the cat would come. Like, who'll bother? I walked the cat three streets down. It takes me about 20 minutes. Finally get to the house and I knock. Lady comes out and I'm like'm like, ta-da. And she's like, oh, yeah, we let the cat out all the time.

I'm like, what? I hate people like that. Bro, he was going to the store. Actually, she's like, yeah, he goes to the store. Were you at the store? I was like, yeah, the mini mart. She's like, yeah, yeah, he hangs out there. What?

We trained him to bring us milk. Yeah. That is fucking weird. I know. It's going to die. It's going to die, and they're probably going to be like, oh, yeah hangs out there. What? We trained him to bring us milk. Yeah. That is fucking weird. I know. It's going to die. It's going to die. And they're probably going to be like, ah, yeah, cats die.

Let's get another cat now. People let their cats roam all the time. That's like a normal thing. Yeah, but there's obviously cars. I think this was less like I had an outdoor cat growing up, but it was rural. So it was like just chilling in the extra land. Some cats know the streets.

Unlike your cat. This cat did know the street. this cat did know the street this cat did know the street and honestly it was hype if you it look if a cat has a collar on doesn't know the streets also those outdoor cats like the farm cats those are alliances those are not that's not a pet ownership system you just you and that cat are like you know you're different you've you've negotiated turn you're a team it brings you things i give you two pet you give me food for life yeah you bring me a rat that you killed because you don't think that you know that's cat that's why cats bring us food yeah it's because they don't think we can hunt ourselves

do you think they're mad we never eat it probably like bro you're gonna finish this i would be it's like a bird carcass oh my god i looked up street food from around the world have you ever heard of balut balut yeah that's i mean i've heard this one no go on i started oh fuck you rose come on these fucking big old honking balls yeah bars on the floor uh bars on the floor balut is a philippines food where they uh they take a an egg oh yeah oh that yeah that is all this i saw this on chopped and then they eat it i literally i can't handle it i saw this on chopped and it was fucking gross just give me the gummy bears i don't need fucking rotten eggs give me gummy bears my hot take I bet that tastes

fucking delicious oh hot take dude a food that is enormous in a country it tastes good it's also not a hot take because you don't know anything you're just saying I'm really brave you're super brave here's my hot take I think that this is cool

unpopular opinion a lot of people Aiden's like yo bro I just watched The Simpsons. It's so good. Dude, hot take. Homer's funny. The dough bit slaps. Have you guys watched South Park? Dude, I was, you know what I've been doing is in the shower, I have like a waterproof

speaker now and I've been alternating my, every time I shower, I will, I shave my head. So it takes a while. And so I, so I've been alternating my every time i shower i i will i shave my head so it takes a while and so i so i've been alternating days which is awesome where i watch the i listen to the daily and come town like every other day i switch and uh i'm pretty much i think getting all of the news in the history of the world like it's like the two books everything you learn at harvard and everything you don't learn at harvard and i'm like yeah so i'm pretty well rounded now this actually i'm glad you brought it up because i was listening i was listening to the daily recently and it was the uh it's the episode from like two days ago about how like germany's relationship with russia has like backfired on them and i was listening to it i'm like this is good but michael is more

egregious than he's ever been right now there's this he god he he he spits it like a whole paragraph back to her like maybe i think bar for bar what she says but in question form and i'm like i can't believe you're doing this i just listened to her explain this for 10 minutes and you have just said it all back again i can't i i sat in the car and i was like I can't believe you're doing this I just listened to her explain this for 10 minutes and you have just said it all back again I can't I I sat in the car and I was like I cannot wait to tell Anthony about how angry yeah I love you listening

to Michael Bavaro do like you know his piece on systemic racism and then listening to Nick Mullen call a man Garfield lasagna yeah I mean look you know it's I wouldn't be a student of the world if I didn't take all perspectives yeah that's all and absorb them amen okay he doesn't have a twitter Michael Barbaro I'm tired of this shit yeah which is good you want to be able to add I need to do

something harass him I need to talk to Michael I need to let him know that this is a problem. What's her name? Who's the new lady? Sandra Tabernacki. She's great. She doesn't do it. She's a normal fucking person. Wait, he did have a Twitter. Did he deactivate? I don't know.

I can't find it. Maybe it's because too many people like us were like, why the fuck do you talk like that? Hey, come back. We're done with you. Yeah. It's like, fuck you. And also, I listen every day, but fuck you. Yeah.

There's some drama in the New York Times room, in the newsroom. In the newsroom? Yeah, with Twitter and all that. What? Well, Taylor Lorenz left because they got mad at her. Wait, the guy from, that Jacob from Twilight was on the New York Times. I like this where we turn it from like streamer drama into like fucking journalism drama. We just start name dropping.

I'm a journalist. Ludwig's half a journalist. You know what Kurt's been up to lately? I'm more of a journalist than you. No, you I'm a journalist. Ludwig's half a journalist. You know what Kurt's been up to lately? I'm more of a journalist than you. No, you're a baby journalist. I'm more of a journalist than you. You're like a tiny little journalist. What's the last story you wrote?

And I'll tell you the last story I wrote. The last story I wrote was an expose on the island. Okay. The Riot Games Island. The Riot Games Island where they, you know, they play tennis. The Mark Merrill Black Book. This is it. games island where they you know they play tennis the mark merrill black book this is it and rack it how we want to go down no it won't be you guys i'll i'll i'll take all shield the i'll be the guy with the knives and you're sleeping you're the soldier yeah i'm the

soldier it doesn't i don't think it works like that why because like if we're in the room with hitler then no one's you know yeah but you know it's more like you had hitler on a talk show hitler's saying some crazy shit and we're all sitting around like damn that's crazy doomsday doomsday is gonna be anthony and richard lewis back to back on a hill with guns yeah like just four four bullets left in the revolver and the riot zombies and they're all dressed in cosmetics, just fucking snarling at us. We're just like, goo, goo, goo, goo. And then we're done. Yeah.

And then we just become eSport. That's it. It's like 23 Jump Street. It's like that. But way worse. At the end, yeah. You reminded me of this because you were talking about shaving your head. And I had gotten an Uber this week.

It was like a 10-minute ride. I got in an Uber this week. It was like a 10-minute ride. And the dude, from the moment I sat, I'm not even finished sitting down, and he looks at my haircut, and he's like, that's a nice fade, bro. And I'm like, well, thank you. I appreciate that. Thank you, sir.

I do like my fade. The way he touched it up, that is so clean. That is so nice. And he proceeds to spend the entire 10 minutes about how fades work the technique used to develop them how he cuts his own hair as of three weeks ago and he's learning and he's telling me about the process of how he does it and he keeps going i'm just like yeah that's funny that's aiden finds this weird but if this was just about like going to beirut or something oh yeah it's just something you don't care about. Yeah.

Bro. Cause if you, if you were like, yeah, I just, I just got back from Guam. You'd be like, Oh my God.

So presumably in that situation, I would be asking questions about like, Oh, what's Beirut? Like, what do you do there? What's it like there? Like in this situation,

I'm like, yeah, man, like I'm not going to cut my hair. Like I'm just not going to do it. So you don't need to continue to explain the tutorial. Are you telling them that? Y'all cut your hair? I'm trying. No, I'm not going to cut my hair. I'm just not going to do it. So you don't need to continue to explain the tutorial. Are you telling him that? Y'all can cut your hair?

No, I'm not saying anything. That's the thing with the ride. So you're making him fill all the information in. He can't make it about him. I see. Though he didn't have a good time. Sometimes you have to sit your white ass down and listen. Hey, guys, I got a compliment last week.

It was so annoying. It lasted so much longer than like a regular compliment but it was such a long orgasm oh my god i had to enjoy like the whole annoying i was like a pig on a farm and slop just coming and coming and coming three waves and i was like bruce going i was pulsing like a magnet it's one of those compliments where like you look good while you're being told because that's what it's about. You know you look good and you feel good. So annoying.

He tried to make it about him which is weird. Back to the compliment, Monsier. I didn't say it. He parked at the bar he was dropping me off at and continues to talk. Continues to explain even after oh

when you're stopped moving we we are we have stopped moving the car is parked and he isn't letting like the conversation end so my only option in in this is to just get up and leave and be like sorry i gotta go which just feels weird because he's so invested in it and then he drops me he pulls up the tutorial that he watched on YouTube and sends me the link through the Uber driver chat. Okay, that's fucking holy. I love this guy. I like this guy. He's just like soft hands guy, but for hair.

He got some soft hair, bro. If he would have got the little feel on the side of his head, that would be pretty funny. Damn, I love that fade, bro. Can I feel the grain? Just let me feel the grain, dude. I want to feel it. Before i got out he like reached behind me in the back he grabbed me like this i have to go yeah i had a really nice time but i'm not you know i'm not really looking for for that dude i i was in an uber once and it was my most memorable

uber ride because it was kind of like that guy but instead he was just funny and he was uh he was telling me about his new apartment he got with his girlfriend and he's like yeah i got i got like this two-bedroom apartment it's fucking big as hell bro it's like so big and me and my girl you know we're gonna live there i got this new mattress dude oh it's cold and i was like i'm so happy for you this sounds so sick there was a there was an uber driver in texas i mean aiden were there. Who was being kind of quiet and weird. And then she finally opened up and started talking.

And she was being weird because she thought I was the guy in Shameless. Like actually. Yeah, the red hair guy. That's crazy. And she was like, are you? And she just said his name. Like from Shameless? And I was like, no.

I'm so sorry. It's way worse. I have a podcast. More embarrassing than being nobody oh my god i thought yeah yeah wow that's okay that you just it's just red hair this is what i get every single day when a fucking bald guy gets photographed that's the most common person i've ever been really yeah like in random places that makes sense i get a fucking every time someone gets photographed and they have no hair, it's like, dude, slime. Didn't know you did MMA. Yeah.

Stop talking to me. I get that with just white people with hair. Yeah, I see your subreddit as dog shit. It is vast. I get DMs of people who are just like, slime question mark. I'm just a bald guy. And I'm like, why are you messaging me this? I don't care.

You know what? That's good because that means they're always thinking about the yard they're always consuming they are always consuming until i block them i will say i tried to run the uh that's not me bit like you when you were saying the um to the uber driver like that's not me like yeah but you were actually serious oh and someone's like you look like ludwig and i went like yeah i get that a lot didn't go well didn't work no because he was there with his friend who was like really funny he was in the back he's like okay we get it it's a fucking youtuber bro that's that's and he kept doing that and but the guy was like really excited to meet me and he's like like wait are you actually and i was like yeah because i cracked music what was the context he just saw me walking by okay. And he's like, like, wait, are you actually? And I was like, yeah, cause I cracked. And he's like, what was the context?

He just saw me walking by. Okay. Okay. And he's like, can I get like a picture? And the guy's like, what do you want a picture for man? He's on the internet.

Dude, that's, he kept reeling. Hold on, after we're done, can I get a picture with that guy? Put a picture with your cool friend. He just kept dogging him.

And then his friend finished. He's like, do you want a picture? He's like, no. Oh man. Yeah. That's, that's great. He just kept dogging him. And then his friend finished. He's like, do you want a picture? He's like, no. Oh man. Yeah. That's,

that's great. He went through it all. That makes me happy. Oh, I also found out Justin Long has a podcast. Do you guys not know this? No.

No. That significantly increases the chances of him coming on this podcast. He has a podcast and he's had one for like years. So it's Rainn Wilson,

right? Yes. But, but like Rainn Wilsonson did creating i know on youtube too so like that's not that out of pocket he's in the game he's had one for like a couple years i think it was a covid podcast like where he is it called long dick dung justin long it's called the justin long podcast and i know about it because i went to charts and it's above our podcast. No. No. God damn it. Life is short. And here's the weirdest part about his podcast. His titles are

Just the Guest and an emoji. Oh, suck my fucking dick, Justin Long. He gets it, bro. He gets what the kids want. Suck my fucking dick. Go through it.

Pull it up. You gross ass fucking Hollywood ass pussy. Don't just throw up a little emoji next to them? We gotta do this. I bet he has a bit where he's like, okay, so Calped, what emoji do you think you should have

for this episode? Like Louis C.K., like a cancel emoji. You're gonna regret making fun of him when you lose the fight. Eat my fucking shit, dude. I would love to see you fight Dustin Long. Some people get three emojis. Yeah, no, I actually went all the way through to the beginning. There's a six emoji here. No. Yep, yep. I would love to see you fight Dustin Long. Some people get three emojis. Yeah, no, I actually went

all the way through to the beginning. There's a six emoji here. No. Yep, yep. Who is it? I would be offended if I came off the show and I had one. I'm like, well, why? Wait, yeah. Rainn Wilson gets one? It's Cecily Strong. Yeah, Rainn Wilson gets a thumb up emoji. She's from Schmig... Schmig... The intern over

at the whatever podcast. Schmigadori. Really just punching the phone, huh? Ugh. I think it's a good idea. Putting emojis. Emojis in the title. Yeah, we talk about Susan, we throw in a dog.

It's actually worse if someone doesn't know it's a dog fucking joke, I feel like. Yeah, wait, as opposed to like... You're saying she's a dog? We're so in the sauce that dogs mean nothing else to us

right now they're only vehicles have sex love emoji don't worry she's gonna fuck the dog and then she's a human eggplant eggplant sweat get janet mccurdy on bro janet mccurdy janet mccurdy yeah yeah she's great podcast yeah there's books look she's famous like this is my one time why are you looking at me like i am fucking miranda cosgrove what do you want for me he's got the keys to the oh jeanette yeah man i got you i just need ludwig to sign off and then i can go off into the sunset he's lacking in the mainstream celebrity just absolutely i don't have any my most mainstream celebrity friend is like shroud do you think if like you know that scene and get him to the greek where uh set uh what's his name joe de hill meets

the the guy who plays draco malfoy yeah he's like oh every boy and then he's like no not everyone cares dude like do you think that happens to like carl jacobs if he goes to like like oh i stayed in a room for 30 hours dude shut the fuck up yeah i'm fucking sick of you man yeah you know what we did last night you know what we did last night no you know why we he asked us all happy to go to dinner no because he asked carl jacobs to go to dinner and carl fucking ditched him he bailed he bailed oh that feels so good to know no but he kept the reservation we were just his backup bottom you're such a i'm so glad my back is fucking debilitating and i couldn't go you would have had a delicious dinner i mean it is a great dinner was it the three of you

yeah and zipper three yeah zipper three yeah that implies it's still me no no it's like an open thing yeah yeah oh wow so interesting oh you've been talking to her oh that's crazy i think that that is super funny that you want nothing more but love and affection from this minecraft youtuber but he won't give it to you because that's how we feel about you. No, he gives it to me all the time. That's the problem. Oh, does he? He bailed on you.

Yeah, but he says I love you on the phone. I said that to you. When? When you left for your trip. Oh, yeah, you did. He messaged me. He's really sappy. I said, don't die.

He was like, don't die. I love you. Goodbye. I also learned last night that I'm immune to Ludwig now. Oh, yeah? Yeah, and I learned this because Ludwig was jokingly like, you want to know the meanest thing I ever said to Nick, to Aiden? And then Aiden brought up the real actual meanest thing

that I ever said to me. Oh, my God. Casually in the car. And Ludwig didn't remember it. And I was like, in my head, I said, I'm driving. I was like, oh, yeah, I didn't think you remember. And then I was like, that's crazy because you don't. Ludwig doesn't remember but anthony does

oh i'll just drive it i'm like no that's like pepperidge farm that's fine just remembers everything i don't you have a decent memory i well i'm not pep farm okay you're up there i'm not as good as good as good are you getting you getting dinner with Carl later now? No. How did he... You might go to Disney, though. How did he bail on you? It was... Oh, sorry.

I got a fucking... No, he got Ludwig. I got another poor old return on. What happened is... Wait, he's not even British. I don't know. Yeah, he's not. I don't even know what he looks like.

We were supposed to get dinner, and they had a spot, but it was far and late. We were supposed to get dinner, and they had a spot, but it was far and late. And so I tried to switch it, and I did some coercing, and I sold two people, but then the overall group was like, no. Oh, we can never put OZTN on their... What are the hands doing? It's like Gibbons. Does Tommy do this?

Gibbons and Minecraft YouTubers have the same anatomy. They just have disgustingly large arms minecraft this got off on the evolutionary scale somewhere in the middle yeah they're all pretty short well yeah but they have giant arms to swing and and play minecraft with yeah oh they got a fucking pig farm and then we got leather for me books. I was picturing because Carl just kind of looks like him in a loose way. I was picturing Carl at a normal celebrity

house party, but he's actually like Michael Cera in This is the End where he's just like absolutely belligerent. Doing fucking coke in the bathroom and getting blown. And he's just like, yeah, fucking Carl Jacobs. I'm calling fucking Jacobs. Remember the name.

Yeah, I think of all the Minecrafters. It's Carl. It's Carl. Only you care about this. But you know who the cinematographer for This is the End is? You told me this. The same as the FP. Yeah, yeah. You told me this. That's crazy. Anyway, what's the FP?

What a crazy film it is. You you know what 2011 was just a different time dude watching that movie and then being like well it was a different time is it was 12 years ago it was so funny oh this is the end oh no it's called the fp it's a it's a movie it's an indie flick that was pretty pretty funny back 10 years ago where it's like DDR is like how gangs settle their beefs. And like these two warring gangs are playing DDR. And like in the beginning, one of this guy dies. Yeah.

I would check it out on your own time. You're in for some surprises in terms of language. Yeah, it's not good. I don't know. It's not good. Okay't know it's not good okay okay listen so i was came out in 2011 yeah well it's tongue in cheek listen i was alone i was alone this weekend uh nobody was in the house zipper two zipper three wait why do you think they weren't here as well right no they weren't but those are okay those the way you said it was unclear yeah it was weird for a moment it made it sound like it was just you zipper two and three just vibing having a weekend you're my back fucking

so i'm alone everyone's gone literally even the animals are gone the bears yeah but i feel you know he was right i've been playing elden ring i pinched a nerve again i literally have a fucking debilitating bat i'm just on my back like a turtle and uh you know aiden wasn't here so i just you know i wanted i wanted to show him that i cared about him and so so i have so i made a video video this video i watched this and i was like he might actually be insane like this is it started to push over the edge of like oh this is funny i don't look i just started walking to the kitchen and i'm like oh you know it would be funny and then i did this what is it can we watch we can hey hold on really quick before we before we

get this going hey archie i'm talking through the camera i'm looking at you if the goddamn video people and the audio people don't get to hear this video or see it oh yeah this episode comes out it's your ass we're gonna flog you then we're flying the leads and we're and we'll snog you oh we gonna isn't that kiss gonna snog what is snog it's kiss is that different than flog it's british just like for like making out yeah we're gonna kiss you so good we're gonna snog? It's kiss. Is that different than flog? It's British for like making out. Yeah, we're going to kiss you so good. We're going to snog your little tiny ass one by one in a train. Dude, that MMA fighter who's like from that area.

Oh, yeah. He's so funny. He's got the scouse accent. Dude, he's like, oh, this pizza's fucking snide, lad. Yeah, he keeps saying snide. All right. Yeah, so this is aiden's room holy shit

i'm gonna be you i'm gonna be you amen i'm gonna be you i'm gonna be you amen i'm gonna be you amen we'll be together forever we'll be together all the time we'll always be together because i'll be you, Eamon. We'll be together forever. We'll be together all the time. We'll always be together, cause I'll be you, Eamon. I'll be you. And you'll be me. And we'll be together forever. I hate this angle!

You're just putting his clothes on? Yes! Yes! Now I'm you. Now I'm you. And I'll be you forever. And you'll be me. And we'll be forever and ever and we'll live for

a thousand years. Good night. Alright. Good night. And I'm gonna be you forever and ever cause I'm you now dude you're a freak dude

what do you do when you receive something like that I will contextualize what it was like to receive this because I feel I know I feel awful i feel bad i said this he said this and i think like 1 30 in the morning and i was still up i think i am in bed with zipper three looking up at my phone on my phone and she's also looking at what i'm doing on my phone and i pull up the video and i'm like oh i wonder what funny video it is to me and and she doesn't know very much about anthony like yet oh she only she does now she only has that's the fuck that's course one what i tell her about him and we watched the whole video oh and she's like this this makes me scared

did she laugh i don't know if i want to meet him anymore did she laugh at any moment no and i'm like nervously giggling the whole time and we watched the whole video she's like she says like that's such a funny video to see for the first time and then i said to anthony i said she watched this and said this actually makes me scared and i can't admit to her that i feel the same fear i feel like at any point if you would just shit on his bed it would have been better and less threatening less weird yeah yeah if you took a big human dump in his room but then you got swift to stand next to it and you're like oh swift what

the hell so obviously you're a big human dump ah that would i might i might achieve nirvana i might actually just get there it's funny because when i did the a drop video you said i peaked but yeah what what this means now is that there's still room to go there's still room to go yeah I might actually just get there. It's funny because when I did the H-Drop video, you said I peaked. But what this means now is that there's still room to go. There's still room to go, yeah. And I think that's really important for me to know. You can be at the top and still strive for more. Yeah, and get more.

That's what my juicer does every day. He goes live. Your juicer, every single day, clicks start stream. Yeah, so I just wanted to let you know, you know, I like you, man. The part where you said. i like you man the part where you said i like you the part where you say i'm gonna i'm gonna be you amen and you'll be me yeah as if i'm in the other room doing this same thing like fucking in your shower shaving my head with a razor yeah yeah i shaved my beard and i started playing Elden Ring and I looked like the wretch level one guy.

And I was like, oh man, this sucks. And so I thought it'd be funny to, you know, record some fun vids. Because no one's here. What am I supposed to do? Guys are assholes. When you move in on your own, is this just going to be that all the time?

We were wondering this because you are going to live on your own, but then you were was wondering this because you you uh are gonna live on your own but then you were lonely after a day i wasn't lonely you said that you those were the words you wrote no you said i'm a lonely bear i did say that to the to the tune of yoshi city by young lane i said i'm a lonely bear with my window there in the group chat and i said i'm a lonely lonely and then parentheses i'm a lonely lonely and no one said anything in the group chat i thought it was funny like i read that would be nice to get an emoji or something oh so now you want emojis you're confusing yeah i'm not you're confusing you wouldn't man. So you wouldn't feel lonely if you lived alone? I think that I would still make fun videos.

Yeah. And that would be how I... Like those ones? Yeah, fun, long videos like that. Like the Atrioc ones. Ooh, the Atrioc ones. Yay. Ooh, yeah.

Nice. Invasive time. Let's see those ones. For the boys. Do you think it's going to be harder to make funny little videos when you live on your own? No, because I'll just have everything bottled up. He can just scream. Dude.

He has to live by himself and he's in a two bedroom and he just decorates the room next to him like Aiden's old room. Dude, and I wear like a plaster mold of Aiden's face. Don't float that idea. No, I had this idea after I made the video where it's like I get – you know like where the – I think it's Heat where they wear Richard Nixon masks when they rob the bank? Oh, yeah. Yeah. So it's just Aiden masks and I have like a a bunch of this man mass yeah batman oh no it's joker mass batman didn't invent bank robberies no i thought they wore richard no it was right it was batman and he robbed the first bank ever the first ever heist was the beginning of the

dark knight yeah and that's what heat. Because that's where they keep money, so you can take the money out of it. You know in the scene when the Joker's blown up the hospital? Oh, it's point break. I'm stupid. You know when Joker blows up the hospital? Yeah.

That's the first hospital. That ever got blown up? No, the first one. Oh, to fix people. Well, I mean, yeah, it also got blown up. Yeah, it was too first. It's tragic.

They killed the first hospital because they didn't want to help people. All film yeah but christopher nolan maybe a little selfish for art for art did you know that he like that take where he's doing it and the clicker won't work it that was actually the real take i was parodying the guy who does that bit oh really yeah oh i didn't know that was because he didn't know that did you i didn't know that i watched tiktok and then there's like a did you know guy oh did you know that in forrest gump his jersey is the only one that's clean because no one has ever tackled him oh so it's like little movie thing yeah what about fun ones that like uh the fun one at the end was did you know that in the jurassic park they had to spray down the T-Rex because it was her first role in 65 million years?

That was the fun one. TikTok sucks. Almost verbatim. There's like four funny people on TikTok. You were talking about this when we were in Maine. You were like, TikTok has gone downhill. Something has changed. Yeah.

What changed, Ludwig? I don't know. It's just less funnies. And there's more ads than ever. And so when I'm scrolling, it recommends also people who follow me or just random small accounts. So I'll get a bunch of intense scrolls. I'll get three one-like TikToks, which are just usually garbage. Then I'll get three ads or two ads, and i get like five tiktoks and like usually all five

suck you don't get hot stinky bangers anymore it's like one in 20 is like a nice one and then it used to be i feel like one in like five or ten oh so i hey maybe this is just me let me know tiktok enjoyers in the comments i found a one like tiktok i have to get it sent to me uh i found a one like tiktok that's my favorite tiktok really yeah i lost i lost my mind laughing at this wait it was it i hold a candle to the guy who talks about how warm his loads are wait what i haven't seen this talk is that we did it on a while while my uh my ex-girlfriend had found it and sent it to me but it's a guy talking about how warm his loads are and how to get really nice warm loads talking about his cum yeah he's like and someone was like oh i love you got to drink water for

warm loads and he's like absolutely he's like really high he's like absolutely stay hydrated get was really warm loads and you had to screen like capture it because he didn't allow sharing on it it's ultra deep cut and tiktok's fucked up because you'll never you'll like finding old shit is impossible so yeah you gotta i don't like that about it yeah save it i've never opened it on my phone really it's just such a fleeting app that's weird then uh i downloaded it i was just like i don't care they're stealing your data and you're not even getting hilarious lulls. You don't even get to haha. And they know

everywhere you are. That's a decent point, actually. Yeah. I should delete. I'm Aiden now. Oh! Aiden, alright. Deleted Twitter. Everyone thought he was gonna kill himself. Were you going to do that, man? No. Why not, man? What did she say yesterday?

Wait, what? Never mind. I don't want to say that i wait what i don't remember what i said it was when you you you said i looked like a like a smasher what i don't have you're funny bro i don't remember this at all hold on just bleep the name archie please we i walked in and you immediately asked me about why i deleted twitter and you were like damn you look you look like not great right now you look like right now and i was like no that actually dude i said that this was him this was i said you were the of the yard oh yeah and i was like that actually makes me want to kill myself. Yeah, that was funny. Yeah, it wasn't me.

Why do you think that was Ludwig? I don't know. Because they're more handsome. Everybody's sitting next to each other. He's more attractive,

so I attribute positive things to him. Kind of how it works. Yeah. He's like ripped and shredded. Shredded like cheese. Can I air out

my grievance with Atriok? With Atriok? What? You have an Atriok grievance? Yeah. Batrion? He only, so he dms me like once every

like three or four months it's never to say hi catch up talk do anything he always says yo emergency he always leads in with yo emergency and i'm like what's up and he goes and he says like all caps and then he says so i have this problem with my camera on stream how do i fix it and i'm like that's not an emergency don't do that oh it's not and what if your job what if you had a problem with your camera yo nick kind of urgent uh emergency uh all caps yo emergency dude he is a freak kind Kind of urgent care. That's what exactly... You stole it. I was about to say it. Yeah, you're slow.

I was thinking it. You're slow. I was thinking it. You got type racered. Thinking it. Dude, I... Yeah, he's a piece of shit, but that's how Ludwig's gonna be.

So I hope you're ready. Wait, what do you mean? If Ludwig lands where H3Hawk is, I'm happy. Mentally. Like, mentally ready what do you mean he's no if ludwig if ludwig lands where atrioc is i'm happy like mentally like mentally what do you mean like i like being around atrioc so if he is his brain rot is not as severe you don't like being around me no i like being around you but i'm saying in the future when you're atrioc's age what is he like 46 47 when you're atrioc's age if you're like him in 20 i'll be like oh that's a good progression for someone like Ludwig. I'm not saying you're going up.

I'm saying you're not going as far down as you could. I'm saying that when Ludwig doesn't live with you, he will be that guy. What, the guy who only messages me when he needs a problem fixed? Yeah. He's that guy now. Oh. Didn't even know.

Ludwig has not messaged me on discord for fun in like three years that's a lie it's a lie council council council council wait this isn't council no you said you said it came out of your mouth the words came out of your mouth the words came out of your mouth the words came out of your mouth. The words came out of your mouth. The council may reconvene. He asked me to go exercise. The words came out of your mouth. Rock climbing, you said it's not exercise. You said it's only fun only and that you're in shape. I said the opposite. You said that. You said that.

The words came out of your mouth. I said on April 9th, want to climb tomorrow. Yeah. You invited me to go rock climbing, which is exercise. Do you enjoy it? Yes, I enjoy it. What? Council? He's a piece of shit but he's right and you

failed today i was happy you invited me rock climbing ludwig thank you count all well i'll never do it again because apparently it's not for fun it's for a fucking work thing yeah now it's my fault skip those invites no you're right get that on the list i'm out of line want to hear how cutie is a freak oh well, no. Depends. Oh, no. You know how there are those trees that smell like cum? Yeah. I was walking by it.

I'm at my college. Sniffing them. And I was like, that smells like cum. Yeah. And then I didn't say anything. Next words out of her mouth was, I love the smell of these trees. And I was like, dude. Oh, my God.

And then I called her out. I'm like like these are cum trees and that's it and she's like she's like she's like no no like some people smell that they don't smell like cum oh it's not the cilantro gene hey hey you're watching this on stream right now oh they do smell like that and then she started lighting up my cum yeah oh no like this and i'm like do you stink cum i thought i had good stuff you got hydrated i got warm loads guys okay you do drink a lot of water this guy's never eaten a pineapple in his fucking life but i can't imagine you having some dirty rank cum. It smells like a toe.

Ew, no. Guys, we... Oh, we gotta bring this... That cum like a venom. We gotta bring this up. We gotta bring this up. There is a conspiracy afoot. A conspiracy? With our YouTube channel.

Oh, yes. Oh, yeah, yeah. Something happened. The Ludwig. Why is it starting to look like this? Ludwig, what did you say to the CEO of YouTube where we post our podcast? yes oh yeah yeah something what something happened ludwig well how the how i was why is it starting what did you say to the ceo of youtube where we post our podcast i i said how's it going you said you said i think your company is sexist i will okay so the part where you call her like i think youtube might be a little sexist and then she awkwardly is like, yeah, no, like, uh,

but like back to shorts, uh, that part in the interview was the most awkward. It was in the room downstairs. The entire was like, it was so uncomfortable. Look, I was wondering if she thought all her employees were sexist.

Sorry. I push and ask the question. Okay. To be fair to Ludwig, it's an easy one. You just say, no, they aren't. It's an easy way. just say no they aren't it's an easy way she did but ludwig you see ludwig calls all of youtube sexist uh and

because they are demonetized because they're demonetizing and not us your girlfriend's podcast now the the whole idea of why this was sexist was because they're not demonetizing our podcast we have like one demonetized episode ever and it's about drugs. We talked about this last episode, by the way. We had a nice 10 minutes. Did we expose that? We talked about how Wine About It gets demonetized and how we don't. It's different though. Some people

will only watch this one. So I'm doing a little breakdown really quick. The important part is after that happened 13 of our episodes got demonetized. and it was days after and here's the question what did you do nick what wait how could i know yeah yeah here's the facts when i when i said you're taking when i said things on in the in the video here's the fact when i said because it got demonetized before my video dropped.

Because it dropped. Yes, it did. You're dumb. It did. I'll bet you any amount of money. Let's bet $1,000 right now. Put your hand out. Put your hand out.

Bet $1,000. Hold on. That's fine. That doesn't change anything. It doesn't change anything. In my head, I heard recorded. In my head, I heard recorded. It does.

Because in the video, Susan said, and I quote, oh, they'll fix it because they'll see this podcast, which implies that they'll see it and then make the concerns addressed. Yeah, but they can also just be told that by all the reps that were in the room watching it. No, because all the reps in the room weren't reps. There's a bunch of YouTube staff. There's a bunch of YouTube staff that were there listening live. It was two YouTube partners who are my road dogs.

They walked out of our house and they were like let's check out those episodes let's get them demonetized that's what they were doing you met Jeffrey you know what he does you are YouTube pilled what the fuck is wrong with you

we're on the broadcast it's our project suck in the sweet sweet teeth I'm saying it's not suck in Lester's teeth I'm saying it's not because of the interviews that we got demonetized

suck it down your throat baby my theory is that it's because we talked about it in the baby my theory is that it's because we talked about it in the last episode it's cold it's cold in your neck we talked about it so let me get this straight so all you're trying to do is rid yourself of blame that's it he gets there you freak well you did start it by no one cares that you didn't start it well i'm mad at youtube and you weirdo you started it by saying, Ludwig, you talked to the CEO. You looked the woman

who controls everything. You looked the woman who controls everything in the eyes and you said, how come we're not demonetized? And then it happened right after. It can't all be about you, Ludwig. Are you not listening

to the words coming out of his mouth? You know that Bo Burnham song? That's what's you. Art is dead. That whole song is about you. I think you're just ignoring Eamon. He just went on a five minute tirade about how i poked the bear and it's my fault yeah is that not true so this is what i'm defending nick you dummy not when i brought it up i think you're

defending it now i think it's his fault what are you talking about youtube's fault yeah no no no no yeah it's ludwig's fault because now i want to be your fault it's funny because she okay assuming susan pushed the button which she didn't but assuming it's like yeah that's because jeffrey did it jeffrey jeffrey sweet sweet wet jeffrey and his sweet tea sweet wet jeffrey he was like okay we can either monetize wine about it or we can demonetize the yard and they fucking chose option number dose flip the coin they didn't i don't think they did. They just said well we're gonna stay sexist.

We can definitely hurt the other people. Here's the thing. We're not going anywhere. We're not gonna stop using YouTube. They have all the power bro. They do. Look if we're being honest some episodes probably should have been demonetized. That's where you're

wrong and I wanted to tell you guys about this. I think we should start uploading all the episodes to Gab. Gab. What is Gab? I don't know Gab. That's such an old, ancient joke. That's the dustiest hieroglyphics pyramid of a joke. I don't even know if you can upload videos to Gab.

Is that a fucking... What is Gab? It's just like a fucking... It's one of those fucking alt-right media sites. It's where well so is parlor there's like a bunch of them you can say anything because they all fail they but yeah no gab is still around well isn't parlor as well they're all still around they just suck oh yeah oh don't pull this up on the computer no hold on this is bad because literally tucker carlson the right. The front page of Gab, there's a very likely chance you just see a hard R immediately. That Tucker Carlson article on the right was fucked up because it said Tucker on.

Like they're all homies with him. I've never seen anyone just say his first name. Yo, big Tuck, my man. Tuck on. Your hair looks weird still, but I like what you're saying. Tuck's speaking, guys. You guys want to listen to Tuck? Let's hear Tuck's. mogul male for 14 year olds you're the tucker carlson of 14 year olds you're minecraft tucker carlson my only problem with this joke is his demo is so much

older and that's what makes it worse the mogul man dude be an atriac we he came over this weekend because we watched starcraft together because we watched the ancient 60 year old games so we're watching it and we can't find the vod because it's only in korean and no one like uploaded it but on your recommended downstairs on the tv it's ludwig's account and it's it's this channel from there's a video from speed the guy who you did a journalism expose on and And it just says, Speed takes the gay test. And we're like, we just start laughing. We're like, well, we got to click. We got to see how he did.

We click it immediately. He's like, all right, guys, take the gay test. What do you guys think? You think I'll pass? And then we immediately pause the video. Like, what does that mean? Yeah, pass is a bad way to raise that. What does that mean? Does that yeah, pass is a bad way. What does that mean?

Yeah, I know. Yeah. So if we watch a little bit more, it's, it's fine. I think it's fine. Hello.

Uh, he's in the room with us right now. And, um, yeah. So people were mad at you about the speed video a little bit. Not really. Someone went on to my comments on my video and like,

you got to talk to Ludwig, bro. You got to tell him that like, he's being too easy on this guy. And I'm like, go the fuck outside. I to my comments on my video and like, you got to talk to Ludwig, bro. You got to tell him that like he's being too easy on this guy. And I'm like, go the fuck outside. I read my comments. Leave me alone, you fucking freak idiot. It was pretty tame.

In terms of other Mogul males, I didn't get that much blowback. What's the most blowback you've gotten from Mogul male? The Jidian thing, I think. Like one of the first Jidian videos when he got into beef with pokey main because that was like a war broom between w and l and poggers community yeah w l it was it was kind of like rome ancient rome yeah and who would the poggers community be socrates just

socrates yeah i get this all right this uh sudden anger in my heart when he mentions Rome because he left. Really? Because you had your chance to reference it. That's a cute anger because it just means you wanted me there. Yeah. And you left and then you love Rome now. Yeah, because it's interesting. Because you watched a YouTube video about it.

I watched several. I forgot how funny that is and I'm back now. It's really funny. I realize I'm a clickbait whore because I was watching documentaries as I do on the floor like a turtle. And there was one that just said, like, Joseph Stalin documentary. And then a line in the title. And then it just says, best Stalin documentary. And I'm like, top 10 Stalin stalling and all of this guy's videos

they're actually pretty well done documentary videos on youtube but it's like best world war ii documentary and i'm like well it can't be the best let me figure this one out for myself and then i clicked and i watched the entire thing all right all right the yard episode 40 line the best yard episode best yard yeah and and it just works but you can but this guy he it's different because we have a lot of episodes but there's tons of wars yeah so he can be the best of everything we can't we could change our podcast name every time oh and then it'd always be the best edition of that podcast name do you remember the scar and taupe show where it was like every time they won the set at the end, it would change to the Tope and Scar show, the Scar and Tope show.

Right, yeah. But then they dropped that. Yeah. That was funny. Yeah, I think it was just too complicated. Yeah. Because it's not. No, there was a reason.

What was it? Well, they used to switch channels. So whose channel would be on? And it was just confusing. There was some reason that they were going to be able to change the name for some reason anymore and scars ego maybe i thought it was you i thought you weighed in on that and you were like oh maybe i don't remember if that was the case we can't rely on you for shit no if it's anything that i remember over six months ago i'm out that's crazy it's how my mind is working it's

god it's going fast when's the last time you saw my penis? It's been a long time since I've seen your penis. So you don't know what it looks like? No. In your mind, it could be... Take out your cock. Well, I could. It could be anything.

Dude, it's so tiny right now. Really? Let me see it. Because it's like I'm soft and warm. We're in a cold house. Yeah. Let me see it. Do you want to see it?

Yeah, let me see your tiny cock. Look at how tiny my dick is. Yeah. Wait, can you... I haven't seen it yet. Is this good for your back? Okay. I don't want this way of doing this.

Dude, this is great. I'll hold you up a bit. Wait, that's fucking that's not bad. Really? Yeah. Are you kidding me? I guess I got meat. Dude, you were like, I have the tiniest penis and then like soft. You expected a little mushroom goblin. Yeah, it came out.

I thought it would be a little more crunched up, but yeah, that's. No, that looks great. Wow. I guess I got meat. Dude, if you had an erection, that would have been so funny. How would I hide it? Yeah, it'd be hard to hide. That'd be hard.

In pajama pants especially. Nick, dude, it was brave to show up wearing that. Show up wearing what? The pants. Why? You got lit up in what? The pants. Why? You got lit up in the comments last night. I know. I know.

And I'm standing my ground. Oh, because you're so ripped. Because I wear ripped skinny jeans. They don't like that. Skinny jeans in 2022 and the ripped. They want to say some shit, but every time people are asking, yo, where'd Nick get the fucking snap-on jacket? You know what pissed me off?

You know what pissed me off? Because it kind of counters that. The comment I read was like, yo, Nick would be so drippy if he didn't wear skinny jeans. I did see that. It was like everything but. I'm like, fuck you. I literally had to go back in my room like, am I old? You are.

That is old. Zapnap revealed to us that you are old as shit. I am an ancient Elden tree. The time marches forward. That's okay. I'm already on Elden tree. Uh-huh. Yeah. And it's, yeah, the time marches forward. That's okay. I'm already on the next phase. If you want to mom... Dude, the mom games don't fit you.

Honestly, I... That's the point. I just thought it was really funny that I had a devil on one leg and Garfield on the other. And so I was like, I want to look at them because it makes me laugh. Hey, what's up, guys? Welcome to the Yard Pod. Welcome to Terrorism Watch. Okay, come on.

Look me in my eyes when I tell you that you're in trouble. Why is that, Ludwig? Danger's coming. Oh, no. Where's it coming from? There's terrorism. No, come on. We keep trying to do this goddamn ad read,

and Ludwig won't stop talking about terrorism. Look me in my eyes. Danger's coming. The T word. The thing about NordVPN.com slash the yard is that it has nothing to do with terrorism. That's the best part. And what you need to understand is you're in trouble.

What? If you don't get this. What does a VPN do, Ludwig? Stops the terrorists. Okay, all right. Well, it stopped. TSA uses Nord VPN what

all right guys listen Nord insane Nord VPN thank you actually for sponsoring us by the way just want to throw that in there I'm grateful you know if you what what is it Nord VPN dot com forward slash the art can

save you or a loved one you need to get NordVPN.com forward slash the yard can save you or a loved one. You need to get NordVPN.com forward slash the yard. Urgently. You're saying it too many times. No, no, no. I like it. Urgently. This is Oscar worthy.

You're in danger. That's right. Tell my family I love them and tell them to get NordVPN.com slash the yard. You watch the security online. You want to watch anime, Desu, and another. to get NordVPN.com slash the yard. Security online. You want to watch anime Desu in another. And while you're in America. Desu. Get.

I don't know, man. Just get the goddamn VPN. Like a good neighbor. NordVPN.com slash the yard is there. NordVPN. I'm loving it. Yeah. Hey, maybe she's born with it.

Maybe it's NordVPN.com slash the yard. Love it. You're so serious. serious yeah he's character acting right now all right and close it out ludwig he's trying to cry he's trying so hard to cry save yourself back to the show dude uh the comments on the uh the clip about uh me fucking in your car yeah there's a lot of theory crafting going on about how i'm a piece of shit Dude, the comments on the clip about me fucking in your car. Yeah. There's a lot of theory crafting going on about how I'm a piece of shit that everyone just puts up with. Because you can't get me out of your life.

What? Yeah. Wait, is the clip just like on TikTok? No, it's on the YouTube comments. It was just me on my own. One heavily, yeah. And I got in there and I was like, oh. Yeah, he probably shouldn't have had sex in that car if he was a good friend you know maybe he tells and asks judy found out because she listens to the yard uh-huh she was

devastated she was devastated that she's ridden in that car or jet she's ridden in that car a max of three times lifetime in the back of she's in the back of your car a lot really right now right now she drives it a lot yeah yeah it's crazy so yeah yeah yeah wow okay that's all right people think that we just hate you but we keep you around because like because you're a dog that that particular person does and all the people that like that comment think that which to me is really funny because it's like that's crazy that you i don't hate you i don't think any of us hate you we all love you but we all think you're asshole no i think it doesn't think that you can be asshole no aiden doesn't think that you don't think he can be an asshole what do you do he's he's just

quietly nodding he's deciding if he wants to doing this thing lately where he muses on a thought for way too long. Yeah, he was doing this at dinner last night. It was so annoying. But he'll take the attention of the room by musing very obviously. He's about to say something profound, and he says nothing. Yeah. Zipper three, not a fan of this. It's not a great thing.

It's just a stall. Do you feel like when there's a bit that no one likes, do you feel more inclined to do it more or stop doing it? He can't do it. He can't muse without laughing. I cracked him. We're still waiting. Just say something.

What do you think, Nick? What? Can he be an asshole? Of course he can be an asshole. Hold on musing oh my god we can't talk while you're musing that is pretty no moment of silence for aiden while he thinks everyone give it a second here we go you're not an asshole nice we get there we're all answering different questions right now are you something or can you be something also don't you guys think it's weird that people have such a visceral reaction to people having sex somewhere a long time ago in that spot well to them it happened right now because they just found out yeah they don't contextualize months or years

well that sounds like their problem yeah okay they're done oh no he's doing the thing i do to people i'm not i'm not on his side oh oh he had sex in the car three months ago oh that's i it's gonna be hard for me to get in now what three months he was a long time and either way yeah on the subject of penises you know what i found out wait whoa what a pivot so i watched this whole video about why the michelangelo statue has a pecker. And the reason why is because back then, back in the times of like ancient dreams, tiny penises were thought to be a sign of intelligence and logic and like citizenship. That sounds like something that a person with a tiny penis. I know.

Some guy pulled his pants down. She's like, really? And he's like, that makes me cool. that was socrates yeah but no lie i'm good at math they paint they paint like there's like paintings of like who they consider savages with like giant wieners like just like disgustingly huge so like having a giant cock was like this problem and it meant that you were like undeveloped and stupid and all this shit and so and it's even like written like a a true like greek like citizen will will have like a large mind and a and a tiny prick dude and you're like going to

your mom and dad you're like my cock is so big i was just thinking that this sounds like a fucking fucking narrative because you're like you're the big dick chad in greek times i don't need to fucking go to school i'll just cut it up and like be cool yeah and then if you have a tiny penis it's like damn i get i need to get really good at my abacus it's you're the bill gates of ancient greece this just sounds like propaganda from some foreign invader who all had massive hogs maybe and all the Greek women were going nuts and they're like no it's bad yeah yeah that's exactly how

it looks to this day he's gonna he's gonna give you dumb baby that makes him dumb you have to sleep with me if you want a smart baby his huge giant cock that makes you quiver like a fucking like a sonar boat that's not that's bad don't dude don't let him fuck you with that giant old dick cannot stop it you cannot compare an

orgasm to a sonar boat why no i think it plays because you've never had one like that you know you've never had your prostate hey you know what you're right i've i've found the greek mathematician yeah what's up bro no i'm a savage i bet you've read so many fucking fucking loser also on the plane to you know what's funny on the plane to rome i read this whole thing about like spartans in greece and it was like real, real deep dive by like an actual historian. It's like this insanely dry, long blog. And in the movie 300, they're like, oh, yeah, there's Athenian boy lovers. And it's like, dude, the Spartans fucked a lot of boys. I was going to say, weren't the Spartans like terrible people? They were terrible.

They were literally a slave population that killed their slaves for a sport and fucked boys. But they made the movie. It was kind of cool. Well, no, the guy made the movie. No, the Spartans. I thought they were pretty chill. Where'd they get all the Spartans?

That's a good point, and I didn't think about that. They were chill when they advanced in Halo. Oh, man. Really? I thought it was funny, though. In Halo 3... You think it's good that I thought it was funny?

Yeah, you know, that means a lot. Could you make a swastika in Halo 3? Uh, what? Nick? What do you mean? Could you make a swastika in the Halo 3 emblem maker? Halo 3 emblem? Isn't the emblem, are they predetermined?

Maybe. Or maybe you could do custom ones. Oh, are you thinking like Black Ops 2? No, I'm thinking specifically Halo. I thought Halo 3, there's Forge, but I thought the Halo 3 emblems they were just like oh it's an eight ball were there sensors but you can like combine them emblem maker you could combine them and shit and i think like i in three am i crazy maybe i i'm just too old i barely played three on xbox live no i don't i don't think i don't think you could do that halo 3 black ops 2 is the first game i remember being able to do that in

yeah black ops 2 was the big one. I wonder what makes these developer studios, what tipped them over the edge? Because we were talking about the FP. It came out in 2011. There was a time period where these devs were like, ooh, a swastika, probably not a big deal. But now it's a huge deal. But there's this point in history where Activision Blizzard was like,

yeah, I don't know. We probably should take that out, but it's not like point in history where activision blizzard was like yeah i don't know like we probably should take that out but it's not easy like 2010 a hasbo hotel mod like looking at the swastika of people in the pool and being like that's kind of funny yeah right like what what is the cultural like pinpoint that we all collectively i guess not all like companies at large were like hey we should do something about this this this is this is kind of wrong ops three two right oh that's when they switched they were like yeah we came out with two there was a lot of dicks and titties in those profile pictures we're gonna need to cut so many people at titties as their fucking emblem

i always it was hype my emblem i kept it simple in that game i i had a heart with a dolphin on it and i kept that for like two three years without changing it i think that's cute and i'm like this is wholesome yeah i'm a good boy and while you're just swearing at your computer screen meanwhile i'm just like too frustrated to take the time to put the titties together but did you rage when you lived with your parents uh yeah but like i i think the only thing you go to the bathroom you like go to punch the wall you don't do it you slam the door and you stop it before it caught it didn't make me rage because you're just all bad or not competitive uh no i think i just like i was like better than the average player and I just didn't have a lot of stake in it emotional stake in it what did you have mogi mogi you saw the beast come out that one day that was so hype

most mad I'd ever seen eight of my entire life it was so sick just at the giant crt playing mogi in the corner alone nothing screaming nothing makes me mad like that game it's it's a different type of rage too I think that's that's part of why i stopped is like i don't like feeling this way at 24 like i that's crazy because that's how i feel when i play like your chic and i just i i try every day i sit down on the setup and i'm like i'm gonna be better today i'm gonna be a better person it's funny because it actually has almost nothing to do with your performance because you'll have sets well you'll have like sessions where like you win equal or more matches but you leave just as angry there's no cure there's no the only cure is me just winning all the time to talk to him about last time we're we finished

playing and i i said i said as we booted into the last game i said uh lg and then he i didn't hear it saying something else uh so i guess he didn't hear me. He was saying something else. I guess he didn't hear me. We booted into the game. It ends and I just get up. He's like, oh, you're just done like that? I'm like, I said LG. I was like, I don't think you did. I'm like, I don't know what to tell you. Ludwig backs

me up from downtown. Kind of fucked up to do that, Eamon. He heads to bed and I'm just laughing because I'm talking to Nick. He's like another typical session between me and Anthony. And I'm like, yeah, it's insane. He didn't even do bad. We won the same amount of games.

It was a dead even session. In the other room, it sounded like Aiden was Fortnite dancing and forced off. I wish, dude. In reality, I'm losing every other game. I only backed you up because I was playing right before and I said LG and then Aiden wasn't in the room

and then he got in the room and we played and then I got up and he's like, well, come on, one more. And I was like, no, I called LG. I thought you were icing me out. And he was trying to coerce me to stay.

I thought you were icing me out. Yeah, it's a circle of pettiness that drives us. It's the engine that keeps us moving forward in this home. Us. And it's beautiful. What? You are more mad than us.

What? Dude, we're all petty. Actually, maybe Eamon's not. In Melee? No, yeah, he's so petty in Melee. Am I petty in Melee? Oh, yeah. Oh, you're the most petty in Melee. I had to think about it. He's not petty. He's very straightforward. He's vengeful.'re the most petty in me. I had to think about it. He's not petty. He's very straightforward.

He's vengeful. I'm not petty in life. But is melee life? Oh. Sorry. It's kind of a dance, more so, maybe. Jazz-like, if you will. Oh, sheesh, man.

You want me to sum up r slash place? Dude, as a whole? That was funny. I've been saying it. Great video, by the way. Fire video. Yeah, I had a good watch funny you i've been saying great video by the way fire video yeah i had a good watch you've been killing it lately i have been a youtuber lately and not much of a streamer yeah you're dog shit bro well i just said one good thing and one bad thing i think you're becoming a better artist why would you scoff at him at a compliment

why can't you accept i don't like no because because he doesn't consider himself an artist i consider my art to be art what's the most artistic thing you've ever done i've ever made like a video yeah uh oh big list oh big oh that's why he's scoffed the scroll just hit the floor because he's he's he's coming home from the strip club with fucking five hundred dollars and ones in his fucking g-string and you're like you know what you really changed the world out of the subathon end of the subathon sure and um you laugh you lose featuring carl jacobs wait you have that yeah it was 15 videos ago about really yeah did you like doing it did you guys like kiss at the end so you love each other and go to bed oh no so he just called me in the first 15 seconds and then left and then i watched

unusual memes for 15 minutes well what an insane setup that's good you guys spend quality time and i like yeah yeah it is quality not quantity you ever think about listening to come down a lot yeah there's a lot of episodes of that show yeah they've been doing for a long time we we try to we we're gonna have we're gonna have stinkers we're gonna have stinker yard eps not yet and i and i think about that a lot one day we're just gonna be a little we're gonna be a little under the under the radar for you know eps it was funny is i'm glass half full and you're empty and here's why because i i also was listening to that show. I told you about this a couple weeks ago.

I was like, if I had to give one episode to someone to listen to their show, it would be the one they just came out with. That's what made me listen to it in the shower. I'm trying to remember which one it was. But I was like, they just had the funniest episode I've ever heard from them. Like, randomly last week. Right. And I was like, they can still have their best episode. That's true. Yeah.

I mean the one that just came out that I listened to is like super it didn't even have Stav on it. Super fucking funny and I'm like damn you know they just get there. But I think about that I worry about that boys. About having a stinker? I worry about having stinkers. Why? Because you can't be fucking 100% all the time always on

unless you're me. There you go. There you go. You don't have to worry about it the time, always on, unless you're me. There you go. There you go. As long as you're here. You don't have to worry about it. What about one take Tony over here? One take Tony? One take Tony and always funny slime? I feel like I should be one take Tony.

Super funny slime, maybe. No, I don't like alliteration of mine. He's the funny guy. You don't like alliteration when you say two take Tony. Well, now you're getting into the weeds of it weeds dude well you know what i just figured out you can call him big l and that's funny yeah we can call you big l yeah that's a toph moniker big l yeah yeah because you started saying you and hdrag started saying big t and it was like do you think we could hdrag culture is ruining my fucking life bro how hard would it be to get it so when you Google Big L, it's no longer the rapper and it is Ludwig?

How famous is the rapper? One of the most famous hip-hop artists in the 90s of all time. I could get one image up there. Probably that's it. But it wouldn't replace it ever. Oh, but you could do the Reddit strategy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you still have Tax Fugitive?

Let's find out. You do. Zipper, can you Google tax fugitive? I told this story like two weeks ago and you do. To a human? Yeah. That's a fun one. I should use that to people.

Oh, he typed in Big L. Yeah, Ludwig, nowhere to be found. Big L, rest in peace. Tax fugitive. There he is. Oh my God. You know what also is still a thing is ugly, disgusting shingle boy. Oh, really?

Yeah. Ugly, disgusting shingle boy. It's been gone disgusting shingle boy it auto-populated wow it's your deactivated twitter image literally first you are the most look at ludwig's in there too yeah this is because it's an incredible where am i phrase look in the shingle like you're in the corner of that middle picture fifth picture that's oh yeah yeah nobody would ever google this unless you look gross do you think that that picture fifth picture that's oh yeah yeah nobody would ever google this unless you look gross do you think that that picture is going to end up in like web md guides of like whether or not examples of shingles and young males i can definitely picture dr noodle

slam at his practice being like yeah so this is not even telling you about it that it would be i mean he had it you know it's easy it's easy to show yeah i can't believe you not to come back full circle i can't believe you had that shit you're yeah you're old man i can't believe it either it's gone now it's it's it's alone yeah but i still fucked in the car you know we can still talk about things that harmed us one in three one in three people not one in three people at my age. Just one in three humans get shingles? Yeah.

I will never get shingles. One of us should get it. Yeah, I won't be it. Do you guys want to make a bet? No, because then it becomes biological warfare. You can just get the... How many of you had chickenpox? I was like, coffee taste, man.

We all had it. You have to have it. I had it too. In America, you have to have it. So you guys just get the shingles vaccine, and then you won't get shingles. No. That's boring. I feel like that stuff doesn't work.

Yeah, I'm just not really into it. I'm not a big fan. I've been reading a lot of articles on your behalf. No way. So let me get this straight. Wait, dude, this is a what is shingles? Wait, is that real zipper? Did you make that?

You just inspect elemented that. Yeah, inspect elemented. Okay, you fucking piece of shit. Zipper put the alien shingles. Zipper. Zipper put the Aiden jingles. Zipper changed WebMD to have Aiden's body. I don't want this to be my fucking legacy. Oh, why? You'll just be dead.

Who cares? That's actually a good point. Is he an anti-legacy guy? Yeah. We had this argument a couple podcasts back where I was like, yeah, you're dead, so who cares? And then I just threw it back in his face. Now he has to be quiet bears.

No. Yes! No, because I said that because I thought it was funny, but I don't actually care. Okay, I see. Alright, yeah. Damn, he does do it for the content. Yeah, he's all about PogTent. I didn't know you were PogTent-pilled. It was a content moment, and I think you can fuck my body after I die. I don't care.

Whoa, I mean... I'll take you up, but hey. Hey, I'm not gonna. I don't care. Whoa. I mean. I'll take you up. Hey. No. Hey, I'm not. I'm not gonna. I'm gonna bust. I'm gonna bust in your dead ass mouth. This will be the ritual.

I will die first. Then he will fuck my body. And then he will become me. And he will truly be him. Oh, dude. And he makes the final video. He walks in like from mid-Somar. He's like, hey, guys.

I made it. He wears my body like the bear at the end of the movie. And I'll be you. You know what's funny too is after I sent that video to Eamon, I was like, this will be funny on the podcast. But I made sure to dictate to myself that I would have done this

even if we didn't have this. You said this out loud to yourself? Just in my head I was like, I would have done this either way. And that made me feel good about myself. Why? Because it's not just for the content? That's right. The content is secondary.

I'm always going to be pulling shit. Yeah. Sir. I had some real deep thoughts because we're working on a new show. And I want a co-host for it. Carl Jacobs, probably. I was running through the shortlist. Carl Jacobs, Slime, Will the short list Carl Jacobs slime will

nef you know that the hitters we are all those are the three hitters and Nick declined early so I had to be like what a bummer and I and I'm probably like four no

because you'll be dead who cares you're gonna be wait I'm a why am I dead in this scenario actually say yeah you're dying soon I'm sorry to tell you there I'm gonna fuck your mouth

on live TV yeah it's like a wheel And then it spins And then one of the orifices Come up And that's how The show closes And I'm just like I got a bib on

And a fork and knife And you got me like Like I'm in You know how Ludwig's Stream room has those Like poles at the top You got me like Strung up

From the rafters And then it's the Outro song While it zooms out On a gym And then he's the outro song while it zooms out on a gym. And then he's fucking you. Oh, Amen.

It's dark. Put some sunglasses on me. Oh, yeah. Weekend at Bernie's, but it's weekend at Amen's hole. Send this a zipper three. Send this one a zipper three. Let's see how much you like slime after that. You know what's funny? You guys came home.

I'll let you finish. She came home from dinner because she went with you guys and I'm playing Elden Ring. I have my pants halfway down because I was just hot and I'm like, I just wanted to do it. So I just like boxers and then pants around like the top of my knees and I'm just playing video games. She

walks by and she's like, hi, how's it going? And I'm like knees and i'm just playing video games she walks by and she's like hi how's it going and i'm like oh good just playing video games you know like cool she's really nice anthony's met her one time before yeah and this is this is like right off the uh i had just told her the day before that the one of the last times i had brought somebody over like this is now like probably a year and a half ago maybe almost two years was when uh jesse came over for the first time and she met you but you didn't know she was coming over and our old house had like an entryway where like the kind of there's like a the upstairs is an atrium almost. And you just walk down the stairs into the living room. And Anthony just walks downstairs while we're watching a movie in the living room.

And he's just only in his underwear. And he turns around and she's like, Hey, all right, man, this was in peak. This was in peak. All right,

man. Cause this is only like a month after all right man just dropped and then yeah and then it was hot you guys hounded me the next day you were like who's her favorite bro who's her favorite yeah who's her favorite and she's like she's like trying not to cave she doesn't want to say anything and then she's like it was anthony i was like and that's how you know anthony's charming bows in the house because i came in the most unfortunate situation and i turned that shit to gold yeah two simple words with all right man say these two words and i'm yours yeah this one simple trick anyway you're having deep thoughts about your content well yeah i think

that's why because you can be very abrasive you read my little note that i wrote for the for the project yeah and uh and i in my note i wrote a blurb about slime and in the blurb i was like i think you can be an asshole and make me uncomfortable and be abrasive and with all that said but you are still the funniest member because it's in the pursuit of being funny on what it on the yard all right that's the only validation you wanted yeah literally the funniest person no funniest person in the yard yes yeah in that pool of co-hosts too uh yeah so that's why i feel like even though i am concerned in your liability it probably is worth it i'm precious by the way question for you when is he ever precious when is he ever a liability shut up

shop stop i'm so be quiet i'm gonna be precious for him a fucking question he's precious i'm about to defend you what's happening when has he ever been a liability meeting people in person i don't think he ever has think about any streamer or person in this world i'm so precious funny and they like him. I'm so precious. No, it was bad at first. I'm insanely precious. They were weird.

But it turned around, right? I think that's the point. Dude, I turned situations around. Hold on, hold on. Just because it was awkward. You listen to me. Just because it was awkward or weird for minutes. It turned around because of their choice.

But other influencers might not make the same choice. But that was also a hard-earned lesson. And I was just lucky that they were cool. Yes. Lucky. But what I'm saying is that maybe I'm arguing you're shifting the goalpost. No, no,

no. But I, what I'm saying is I got lucky and now I won't make the same mistake and I'm precious, but I'm saying that he's never, it wasn't funny until that one. He's never actually blown. He's never actually blown it.

I think you can blow things not in person before you meet someone no but you get to rectify that's the perfect opportunity I don't think you always get to rectify I think you're assuming that you get to rectify but sometimes you don't

and that's just how it works I think if you get to spend time with another person who may have a bad impression of him right like say he hangs out with a guy you're just assuming they're down to hang out.

Let's say your boyfriend's putting holes through the drywall, and then you want to bring your kids over. Well, he's never hit your kids. That's right. Is he a liability? That's right. He's not the same. Why?

He's never hit your kids. He's literally punched holes in drywall. But he does shit behind closed doors that you're like, that's scary. What? What if he lashes out? Yeah. Don't point at me with the analogy. You put a hole in his drywall

yeah but i would never punch his kids what if someone just saw him punch a hole in the drywall banned 800 chatters and then also make a video about how he's gonna punch the hole i used a hammer which is different use a weapon that's different some people be hesitant and not want to come perhaps would they perhaps has this ever happened where they said they don't want to come to something because he's there i don't think he's been put in that position i don't think i've had this opportunity i'm professional everything's been online for two years i bet in this pool i i bet you saikuno doesn't even know about that shit i bet you who knows i don't know hey break bread i was cool i was chill and he went to the biggest streamer awards event and did

crowd basically you don't have to convince me by the way i've already made my decision no i this is funny i do feel like i'm on the stand and he's my defense attorney i want to understand if your concern is genuine or if you're leaning into it for like the bit that he would like destroy your reputation no i reputation i i actually even after all these things that anthony has done and said that he would destroy your reputation. No, reputation. I actually, even after all these things that Anthony has done and said, Anthony is someone that I'm excited to introduce to anybody because I'm confident that his charm and character when he meets new people is actually really, really effective. You're giving that to him right now?

I'm precious. Why are you giving it to him? Because he's precious. I'm so precious. Okay, let me put on my serious hat. ready yeah a lot of guys a lot of good points i can't be abrasive and in an industry where you have to network primarily to do things so it's based on people's good faith and believing in what you're doing because they can't be they don't need to be convinced by money they need to be convinced by anything except will I have a good time and will this be worth my time? When there is any sort of impotence to that,

impedance, I should say, not impotence, because I got real good cock. I saw. It wasn't that small. You don't need the abacus. Continue. The idea is that- This guy loves live today.

You're the one who said his cock one who said that impedance will be a problem and we don't know how that hasn't manifested because we don't know if someone is being like oh i don't want to go to that ludwig thing because that bald guy looks like the level one elden ring character lmao he said p dance what i want to come in and add is i figured out why slime's a liability in my head and it's because he doesn't care who he's talking to he will ultimately say how he feels and so if this person upsets him he will shit on

them that's true and it doesn't matter who they are or the situation he will just do it and so sometimes I don't shoot first in person well usually to the person to the person it feels like you shot first because they don't understand why what they did was socially annoying to you so in their head you did but let's just say

someone were to come over and make you mad by saying something that you feel is like demeaning you in some way you would just shit on them and then they'd be like that guy was mean maybe yeah but i also think i have a pretty good barometer for like if i'm at an event or something like for instance when the roast happened here there was a lot of people i remember dude i went up to misgiv it was actually so funny i went up to misgiv and it was the first time i ever met him and i was like hey i know like you know i'm sure a lot of interactions that like usually happen between people who stream and people who don't and all this stuff it's like and it's a lot of like air it's a lot of like fake thin air and i just wanted to tell you that i think you're really funny and i think you you do

a lot of cool stuff i just want you to know that he looked at me and he's like and he couldn't look me in the face he's like yeah yeah you know like yeah i mean yeah like whatever and i'm like okay i tried you know so like there are elements of me trying to like it and if if misgifted something there which is literally in the house where i live and it pissed me off i would not tell him to go fucking suck my suck me from the back because there's a thing going on and a thing will go on in the future and i need to preserve that so you fall them out to the car parking lot dude in the parking lot literally anything goes then you're like hey i don't even

fucking know it's either that we're gonna fight or we're gonna smoke crack together yeah and break bread yeah break crack that's exactly right an ounce of slime is worth two two pounds of wood wig you're precious you're precious i'm so i'm nice why we have a lot of we have a lot of random man what I wanted to do that way earlier when I was getting a huge compliment run I wanted to take off my shirt in celebration

but my fucking neck and back hurt so much what about your crack dude I made the same joke yesterday yeah cause he was on the ground and he was bailing on dinner and I was like dude on dinner and I was like dude my neck and back hurt so much

and I was sitting over him like this oh yeah what about your pussy what about your crack he also was like oh you shaved your face and I'm laying on the floor he comes to like touch me and I'm like don't touch me don't touch me but he was gonna hurt if I touch your back

no it's just like it's it's really hard to explain but let me tell you standing normally excruciating is there something you can do or are you just old and doomed i'm gonna talk to my doctor about why and you're right i'm taking the horse pace and i'm getting back on the fucking train there you go i gotta figure it out. I'm going to the chiropractor today. Have you guys had a physical in years? I haven't had one in a few.

I think it's been at least four or five years. Dentist? Yeah. I went like three weeks ago. Oh, tell the people how long it's been since you've gone to the dentist. I think it's been six years. Dude, I think I'm on the six. I think I'm also on six years go to the dentist i'm worried i think it's been six years since dentist and doctor you know why because they shame you i brush a lot though i'm sure it's fine i was i was in the i was in the driveway with

lovely the other day and uh i got back from the dentist and half my face is all fucking numb and i'm like i hate this this sucks and he's like yeah fucking numb. And I'm like, I hate this. This sucks. And he's like, yeah, it does suck. And I'm like, I can't eat anything. I can't do anything. He's like,

yeah. And I'm like, it looks stupid. And I was like, you know what I was thinking? I'm like, maybe, maybe this is the last time.

Maybe I just say, all right, whatever happens to my dental health from 25 to dead, I'm okay with dealing with that. Like maybe I just, I just deal with that. And, and like,

I just don't ever have to go to the dentist anymore. And that's awesome. And Ludwig's like, don't do it. Cause to go to the dentist anymore. And that's awesome. And Ludwig's like, don't do it because that's what I'm doing. And it's bad. What's bad? He was bestowing ancient knowledge onto me. Usually dentists do like some preventative health.

And if you don't, then it's just like you lose a tooth and then you have to like pull a tooth out. But you say it's bad. Like your mouth is like a Komodo dragon right now and it's got poison in it. So he was more saying like I'm for sure making the wrong choice and I understand and recognize that. So you shouldn't follow my. It's like I'm hitting the jewel and he's like, yo, maybe that'd be nice. And I'm like, don't do it. Don't fucking.

You'll never get off. So good. Don't fucking do this. Yeah. So I'm wary of what that what that what I'm doing is dumb. But I also won't change my ways. Yeah. That's so noble.

It's so brave to not go to the doctor. You really are special and cool. I'm a bit of a hero. Look, I say you don't need physicals as long as you're feeling your balls every fucking day, brother. I haven't felt my balls. For them lumps. Feel your balls. You don't feel your balls? I don't feel them.

Like, I forget. Remember not to dap them up. I don't know if I know what I'm feeling. You don't have to do it now. You just have to feel around, make sure there's two balls, and that's that. I'm doing it. Nothing extra. Remember not to dap him up. I don't know if I know what I feel. I'll do it now. You just have to feel around make sure there's two balls and that's that. I'm doing it.

Nothing extra. You're missing one. How tragic would it be if he found a lump on the show right now? Dude. Nobody found what in his scrotum.

We do an episode like from the actual scan. The CT. It's like the guy there. It's still Brandon. Brandon's wearing a lab coat. He's working the CT scan. Hey, it's like the guy there it's still brandon brandon's wearing a lab coat he's working the ct scan hey weren't you the no it's framed around the table so like all you can see is like the bottoms of ludwig's feet in the shot what we all up in the machine we all got our ailments right now what what do you got i sprained my super spinatus which is in my rotator cuff and

i can't rock climb for 10 weeks what are you guys going you got a rib you fractured your rib again yeah well it's just i i know i fractured it again i fractured it the first time i don't know if you know this shit we go through is fucking podcasters man people don't they don't know they don't know the physical toil i cracked my stream in blue-collar job because I was leaning over my office chair and then it popped. How did you do that? And there's no union.

Because I was leaning over into the armrest trying to grab a controller and it was like there and I went... And I reached... And it went... And I heard it. And then throughout the night,

I was like, damn, my ribs are, guys. Talking to chat and it's not there. Cracked ribs. I got some weird pain. Heal, right? Like you can just kind of like. Yeah, that's what I was telling this guy.

He was like, you should go to a doctor because I was telling him I think my ribs cracked. And I was like, no. Yeah, you're so stupid. Don't do that. Me and you are the same. No, because you don't. You don't go to the doctor for a cracked rib. You can still go to the doctor. No, they laugh you out. They laugh you out the building. because you don't you don't go to the doctor for a cracked rib you could still go to the doctor no they laugh you out they laugh you out the building

i feel that's presumptuous yeah i feel like okay i will say i went to my doctor when this pinch nerve stuff first happened beautiful by the way she pretty much acted like nothing was wrong i hate when doctors do that i hate when they do that and i was why do they do that i was like you're so hot but i'm so upset right now god i'm so mad why why would you do this to me to us why would you do this i remember being mad when i went in for uh shingles initially because we i didn't know it was there it was just this like intense intense like internal pain that didn't feel like a muscle pain yeah explain that because mans didn't know yeah yeah and there was nothing like visible she couldn't like uh like like find any pain by like pushing a muscle or anything and when there's no like when there's nothing visible and there's nothing to like differentiate

the pain from like all the other things that could be a symptom of like there's nothing you can do and i just had to wait for the rash to pop up a lot of medicine is waiting you know i wish we were in the olden times where it's like you could like it's like the the cure for like syphilis is to like smooch like a goat yeah or like put your feet in tomato juice yeah i was thinking more like put a couple leeches on your cheek and then there's that suck the suck the demon i'd be terrible because i had a penicillin so they'd like drill a hole in my head oh you'd be dead you would have died i was kidding i'd be dead which is why i want to go back you guys keep the yard going the yard going if you died we've talked about this we

wouldn't have even gotten started talked about the content the pog tent i'm saying does it continue from now from where we are right now dude it obviously it's it's more successful but you said what we were like you were like yeah we we we were like no we wouldn't do we have like a sad episode you'd be like you you said you guys are stupid you need to make pog 10 out of this and so we're just following the book out of you dying i mean when when when trevor moore died they did that stream on whitest kids where they they did this huge lead up to explain how he died to everyone and at the end of it they were like yeah he ended up choking because he tried to suck his own dick they all laugh i was like that's

that's how to do it and then you never talk about me ever again that's exactly what they did not even in stories well we've already kind of established that i'm gonna fuck aiden's mouth silly yeah to become me the live episode to become amen dude can i wear your dead skin as a jacket no i already said you could do that i just want you to say yes no i already said that i suggested that okay so don't ask for permission because that makes it sound like you're stealing credit you're wasting my fucking time i. Yeah, I'm wasting your time. Do you guys... Okay, so it's a really sad story. There's this 22-year-old YouTuber who makes...

You may have seen them because they come up on Recommended every now and then, who makes downhill longboarding videos. And all of his top videos have like 40, 50... I think his biggest video is like 60 or 70 million views and unfortunately i forget his name but he just passed away in a helicopter or in a plane crash in iceland with three other people i will say i did not expect it to be anything but yeah downhill yeah i thought he's gonna die doing what he loved no he don't they were doing a photography tour in like a plane and it crashed into a lake and uh

he's i only found this out because there was like this montage of him uh that got recommended to me that was uploaded to his channel edited by somebody else and then like an instagram post on his instagram like from his parents and all these people so if you were to die would you want other people to take over your social media to spread the message about it? One scheduled tweet eight months after I die. And it says, I lived bitch.

Yeah. Where am I? LMAO. And that's it. Uh, no. You know what I would do? I would take Ludwig's phone and I'd start messaging cutie.

Be like, that is dark. I'd start messaging Cutie. Be like... Oh, dude. That is dark. I'd be like... Okay. I'd be like, hey, what's up? That whole 10-minute spiel,

cut it. You don't have to make him your co-host. I take it all back. That's fucked up. That is fucked up. I'm peeing with a door open or whatever right now. Oh, my God.

No, I wouldn't do that. The reason why I said that is because I saw a tweet that was like, our dad died and my sister took his phone and messaged me and it was really funny or something. And so I just had that. What was the message? What is the message that you can send that is funny in that moment and not like... Literally, I think the message was like, yo, get me out of here. funny in that moment and not like it literally i think the message was like yo get me out of here which i will say as someone who has two dead parents now and every time i have dreams about

my dead mom or dad it always is my mind is trying to reconcile that they haven't been dead this entire time and they've just been like missing so like now it's been like 12 years since my mom died so when i have a dream about my mom i'm always like dude where have now it's been like 12 years since my mom died so when i have a dream about my mom i'm always like dude where have you been she's like sorry i was just gone and that uh that never goes away getting a text that said that it would probably break my subconscious like a fucking glass backboard yeah it'd be insane it'd be fucked up seen an inception where all the buildings start collapsing yeah it's it's already something in my mind is saying like, this isn't right. You're not accepting something.

So that would really change things. It's like the end of Inception, but Slime's dreidel is him just ripping a fart and seeing if it ends. Dude, it doesn't stop. The movie doesn't end. Yeah, it just cuts.

And we don't know because it sounded like it was kind of finishing. It sounded like he was teetering. It starts to sputter. While the new Hans Zimmer soundtrack plays in the background that's great i almost saw someone die this past weekend really nice i was driving and uh the car in front of me uh they had just like passed me i was going i was i was i passed this truck and i and i didn't get out the left lane immediately and I was going I was going like 5-10 over

this guy's going like 15-20 over switches on the right lane in front of me gets about like you know four car lengths in front of me

jerks left and then over corrects right and then hits a bank flips into a fucking ravine and then and then just crashes right in front of me on the first car behind

I'm like you saw all that? I saw all this isn't it crazy how when this happens you don't hear it it's just crashes right in front of me on the first car behind. You saw all that? I saw all of this. Isn't it crazy how when this happens, you don't hear it? It's just silent, right? Yeah, it was. Like, there's not movie sounds of crunching and shit. What was playing was the fucking Planet Money podcast on manatees.

And it was like, yeah, yeah, that's right. Manatees like warm water near power plants. And you're like, oh, why? Why is that so interesting? So immediately, because QD was on her phone i'm like oh my god there's a car crash and then she looks up and she's and she's like just sees it like the dust and she's like oh pull over so i pull over and i pull over like maybe like a hundred yards away and i start like like immediately she's like i'm gonna call the cops so i get out i run over i'm holy shit i'm second to the scene there's a guy in there he's like he's like he's like i catch up bro he's he don't work out do you he's like down in the car window uh and he's like talking to the

guy uh the guy's leg is through the other side of the window moves i'm like because i thought he was dead for sure uh and uh he's like talking to him and he lets me know he's like all right there's one person in there nobody in the back he's taking his time getting out i'm like okay good and uh and then a crowd starts forming a lot of people pull over it's like 15 people all right and and they're all kind of useless like they're all able-bodied humans but no one really knows what to do yeah so we're just kind of like all hovering and sharing information which is a good thing to do because you don't move people's necks they fucking die so we're like we're all we're doing is like yeah there's one in there yeah no i saw it

oh you know oh yeah i called the cops i called the cops too and one guy was there terribly he's like a trucker and he's he's like uh just this big fat guy and he's every time someone comes up he repeats what he saw he's like yeah i saw it the guy came across just fucking flew hit the bank and flipped over and i thought to myself right there that's a dead body meeting those guys and he said that five times but every time he'd go i saw it right there that was a dead body like it like you're hitting a and he's just doing the same with an earshot of the guy who would have been the dead body. So I'm like, I'm like, what do you mean by moving his neck? Like, well, you just shouldn't move people. Yeah, you can't move it.

Like the one and two vertebrae. I learned this in science class. They're very sensitive. And if you have like a like if the one slips off of two, it's like a little swivel and you have like a neck problem because you got battered around. You can just fucking die. Like it severs your spinal cord. And that's why they say don't touch his neck don't touch his neck wait so you guys can't help him get out of the car no because you don't know the extent of his injuries and you can he

he's trying to get out of the car yeah he was like he was like very rattled right obviously and so he was like moving but he was like not able to just like pull himself out of the car because it's a bit tough uh finally a fucking hero emerges a truck f-150 pulls through big old american flag on the back red stripe through it little tag red lives matter let's go brandon that's the best lives matter to show up right what's red lives higher firefighters firefighters oh yeah dude dude are we beefing with firefighters so that's what i thought i was like i was like yeah he ran past i was like just so you know no beef like the whole blue lives thing is

different apparently it's for fallen firefighters but it looks like a blue lives matter flag so you think that it's like i mean i bet there's crossover yeah but there's some firefighters who are like people hate us and everyone's like no, no, you don't. You're fine. And so he comes over. He sprints out of his van with like a first aid pack and like slides in. Like Fortnite. And at that point, the trucker's like, it's like Fortnite. He's like, here, I got two small pots.

Take the small pots when you get up. I'm going to res you right now. And that's when I was like, I have zero skill set to be here in this moment. I am just an able body. Yeah, and that's it, though. I showed up, and then he came. And I was like. I have zero skill set to be here in this moment. I am just an able body. Yeah. And that's it, though. I showed up and then he came and I was like, you roll over. You're like, oh, darn.

Right. This is all I did is one guy was on the phone and he's like, what's the mile marker? Because it was out of eye range. So I ran over and I was I ran back and I was like, this is it. And he's like, great. And that was my contribution. And I was like, yeah, without a leader in direction in knowledge humans are just bodies that are just like yeah we're just walking around like sims yeah it's fucking they need amon's creator to click on them and tell them what to do

but it was crazy i i had the same situation it was i saw it was basically the same thing but it was in the snow when i left to colorado this guy just flips he took a turn it was icy and he i saw him roll it was a pickup truck and i'm just driving by it and it was silent which was kind of eerie it's like in movies in space when there's like no sound and you're like i was like oh that's crazy and i just said there was an accident it was right here it was this because i'm going to work in the morning and it's snowing and then before like i go two more miles and ambulance is already fucking zooming away. I'm like,

that's great. But I never stopped. Like I never thought to stop because I was like, I had the internal thought where I was like, I can't help this person and they might be dead. And I don't really want to see a dead body. So I'm going to do the best I can, which is call immediately.

And then I like would check the paper every now and then to see if like they died or something. If only someone was there earlier yeah i live with that there's a photo of you driving by local bald man ignores i had hair back then no you're bald local future bald you're bald in every memory i have of you even the ones with hair the ones that you've experienced you you guys know that thing i feel like this is a very la only thing driving around a lot and you'll see people with those little uh anime stickers on their car like they'll have like just some sort of waifu in the backseat yes i never saw this super common either subarus or honda civics yeah yeah and you see them everywhere like i i've never

seen them anywhere else but here, and you see them all the time. And it's always, like, it's a lot of, like, big, boobied anime girls. It's, like, it's always a... Who's the fucking girl in Demon Slayer, dude? It's her a lot. That's tough.

What, is she, like, 13? Yeah. Yeah, she is. Yeah, it's always her, but, you know, weirdly... This is what you want in Riot Games. This is she like 13? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. She is. Yeah. It's always her, but the girl, the bottom left, this is what you wanted. Riot games.

This is what you contribute to weirdly scantily clad outfit. Or sometimes it's Naruto. If God is smiling on me, Naruto boobs. I was thinking about this and I was like, dude, why, why do weebs have to be like fucking this?

You know, because if I'm really into like star wars or transformers at least they put a little like they put a little like autobot symbol on the car and it's like maybe that's cool or cool you're like 40 years old i don't have to think about it i don't have to look at the 13 year old girl's boobs like while I'm driving on the highway. It just, I think I've just seen it for so long. He's just putting down Japanese art, that's all I'm saying. Yeah, I feel like what you're doing is not accepting culture. When we got home last night, because

of what you're joking about at dinner, I had to explain what lolly was to zipper three. You kept making jokes about it. I kept making references zipper three wouldn't get, so Aiden would have to explain all of it like a translator it was really funny i didn't have to explain all of the smash doc and lolly porn really yeah yeah it was a great night they transition really easily you have to get more and more crazy about it literally was like running the

uh well ken figured out how to grab bit uh two zipper three um but like laughing really hard and it wasn't clear if he was laughing at her or the bit like it was one of the bits where she's not in so she doesn't know and so and he's just laughing i'm like okay i have to explain this yeah because i don't want you to feel cyber bullied in real life it was insane that we the joke about so so there's this guy named ken was made but then we actually had to do it yeah yeah but that's why the joke was made because we do we did have to do that that is like when you go back in time and then like you affect the timeline and it's like oh shit mart, shit, Marty McFly met his own parents, and it's just a loop. I saw DeLorean on the street yesterday.

It was cool. They're coming back. I was like, whoa, I've never seen one. That's the car from the thing. That's from the movie. And then the old guy is in it. It looked like it could take a bullet, because it's all chrome and metal. It looks pretty hardcore.

You know what I see in movies a lot? Where cops are shot at, and they open the door to their car. chrome and metal it looks pretty hardcore you know what i see in movies a lot well like like cops or whoever's really like shot at and they open the door to their car like oh fucking like it's cover it's just like swiss cheese bro you're dying wait even a cop car yeah they do not it's just like plate them or it's very light like you that shit goes straight through so if you are ever in a shootout is this i i nothing. I want you to say that. I know nothing and I think you're wrong.

I think they must plate them or something. Who's paying for that? Taxpayers? Yes. Amen. Blue lines. Let me tell you,

by the way, how much new show I've been watching in the premium episode. I've got a better one. Really? We just had two Australian. This is terrible.

It's a really good show, but I don't want anyone to know I'm watching it. You know what? Actually, stop using the Patreon after that. Take your money away. Unsub. Unsub from the Patreon. I'm tired. Oh, my God.

We're actually so close. Wait. Wait. Hold on. Jesus. Wait. At 25K Patrons, we face fuck Aiden's entire cold, lifeless head. Yeah, that's the 25K goal, which Zipper just made.

Wait, I don't like that word, dude. But the actual goal... It's gotta be all three of you. You all have to commit. Dude, we're like 600 away. We waxed Slime's entire body from the neck down. That's pretty funny. I didn't know we were that close.

It's close. So go to the Patreon, drop a goddamn if you want slime to be a little otter slipping around. Yeah, I'll be your sweet little precious boy. A little sweet otter. It'll like the tattoo episode. It'll be like a whole ass episode. We'll do an episode in Castro. We'll have people call him

an otter. Who's Castro? Never mind. Let's... Hey. Hey, thanks. You and Zipper are bonding. What is this this well uh thank you for watching and we'll see you in the premium episode if we see you in the premium episode no but the clickbait is i will show remember when i showed ludwig my dick i'll show you my dick okay there's a lot of kids won't happen i'd like to say while we're still on the air and everyone can see that will not be happening archie cut that i did it for that i did it for that reaction

cut that out good night everybody