The Yard - Ep. 43 - Phil Hellmuth gets caught LIVE cheating in Poker

Episode Date: May 4, 2022

What a hot and spicy week. This time, the boys talk about the Phil Hellmuth vs Slime fiasco, the unexpected brilliance of Dude Perfect and Slime makes a curious distinction between living, and less alive children.

you know what's crazy is i've never eaten one of those never had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich no i'm not gonna to eat it. I'm allergic. Oh! This is like an unrelatable experience for me. I feel like we should have known this. You do. I did know this. I just forgot for a moment, but I know this for sure because one of the funniest arguments

me and Aiden ever got in was at a restaurant where I asked for him. I asked the waiter for him if there's peanuts and something that he ordered because it was likely there was and there wasn't but then we had this whole thing i was like why don't you ever ask like you're allergic like you should ask that question you're not that and he was like i'm only a little allergic i'll just like i was like i feel like it's good to just

know that information and we've gotten a really funny argument because the argument was me protecting him yeah because he asked for me it was no that's true it's his body he's a libertarian my body he has the little skull thing that you put in the seat belt to stop it from beeping because it's his fucking life bro it's how how i hate how my how my new car gives me fucking warning signs when i'm about to crash into somebody i'm like i'm breaking thank you yeah it's like let me be me yeah for fuck's sake in new hampshire they let you rock it no seat belt yeah but your fucking toyota corolla is gonna scream at you live free or die is that is that why there's that's their that's their motto is bitch shit yeah over there click it is bitch that's what george washington

said in the carriage click it and ticket he was bumping his head and he's like, it's fine, bro. It's fine. You guys know Aiden's a failure? Aiden's a failure? I'm so curious what this is. I came up here. It's so numerous.

Aiden looks at me and goes, I know why you think I'm a failure. He read the topic before I said anything. I'm like, I know you know. He says something that I have no idea what he's talking about so we both have i think different things in our minds for why he has failed yeah i have like 17 why why don't you tell me just in general we should all go around and say why well you posted it right after that interaction in the driveway yeah maybe you do know i do know okay so you explain your perspective okay so so um aiden ordered an uber eats to our neighborhood and the the uber eats driver ran the private gate and uh oh she came all the way to the house and the and the the security

guards followed them yep um and and went behind went behind them and this woman, bless her heart, didn't speak any English. She is losing her mind in our driveway. I get home as it's happening. I don't see anything. I just pull in. I get out and there's a cop and her and she's like, did you order food? I'm like,

yeah, probably. Someone did here. Aiden comes out and is like, it's me, it's me. The woman speaks Chinese, a language that Aiden tried learning and spent so much time learning he had a little a stupid little nerdy little book and he goes up to the situation he has a beautiful opportunity wait mike's there because all he is mike's there in the car with the door dash come on take you fucking fall i got a six pack and i'm racist oh man that's hey what's up 2006 your friend's tan mandarin uh and so aiden goes up and he's using only the most common words in the english language sorry and it's okay and

don't worry things like that instead of any of the chinese he studied and he leaves the situation not using a single word of chinese were you embarrassed i said that means hello how about how about a little more balls like he's like i no, it's fine. It's fine. It's fine. And I'm like, I'm watching him like, you pussy. Just use the Chinese word. I said, it's okay. I said, it's okay. Okay is like a universal term. He whispered it.

He whispered it like he's saying pussy in a restaurant. I was trying to think of Chinese words that I could say, but I don't have enough Chinese vocabulary to articulate why she got pulled over. Yeah, but you know business, Goose. Say it. What's business, Goose. Say it. What's business, Goose? I think it's Chia. It's a penguin.

It's like... It's a literal... No, that's the shit with the plants, the animal plants that grow out of them. I think that's only part of it, dude. But the characters that represent Penguin are literally the character for business and the character for Goose.

Very cute. It's very funny. So you didn't know sorry thank you any of this shit no i did say thank you i literally said thank you in chinese which is a very common thing to know to say thank you when no it was when she gave me the food woman is like like like profusely apologizing and saying that's what happened she's on the pavement and the fucking gun

and the guy's like ready to fucking shoot her in the head poor woman is on her knees in the driveway hasn't given you the food and I'm just in the driveway yelling

she's here she's here no that's not what fucking happened why not why didn't you protect her I no

I I was the one who told her it was okay and that it wasn't like we're all good. Don't worry. After she said, I don't speak English. No, but I said, okay is a universal term.

She understood what I was saying. The problem was that he said it's okay, but then she kept apologizing and explaining how she doesn't understand. I think it's fucking weird that he keeps saying it's okay is universal. I think it is. It literally is. It was to her because she kept not understanding. No, she's just explaining that you keep saying it's okay is universal i think it is it literally is okay

not understanding no she's just explaining that she can't speak english because she can't like explain to the security guard what's going on okay is a universal term if i drop you in sri lanka yes you say okay is used all over the world by like every there's an insane reason yes i trust him i do trust him on this but I don't like his attitude. It is not an English... I'm going to drop you in Aomori, Japan by yourself for three weeks and you can only use the word okay. What?

No, no, no. Ness says okay. Ness is Japanese. That's just different. Oh, fuck. I helped you out. I don't want to. Your attitude is terrible. People use okay in Japan all the time. He just said Ness is Japanese. I just helped you out. You're not listening want to. Your attitude is terrible. People use okay in Japan all the time. But he just said Ness is Japanese. I just helped you out.

You're not listening to me. No, your attitude is terrible. What terrible attitude? I can't believe that I'm in this situation right now. I'm trying. I know. You just told me. He's wrong.

I'm literally. Shushu. You didn't even say it right. You didn't even say it right. Shushu. Yeah, I think that you. What music is playing? What? It stopped. There was music playing just now.

There was a little beat. Zipper fucked up. Zipper's playing jungle beats in the background. Zipper's playing Hotel Yeti way. Audio jungle. He's playing Saxon Slot in there. You do a little reacting on your stream on occasion. I can send you a nice 10 minute

long YouTube video about why everyone in the world uses OK. Is it by Wendover? No, it's like a Vox video. I mean, I already convinced him by using Ness. You did convince me. Audio jungle. I still think you're a failure for not speaking Chinese because you're going to be in the shower later just thinking

about all the sentences you could have said. Yeah, he was saying something that doesn't Yeah, but I was like, Ness says okay and he's Japanese and then he was like, oh, and it was over. Yeah, we've moved on.

And then you just kept fucking bringing it up but I used the boy. The boy helped us. His sweet boy body. We moved on. I thought your whole argument just now was that

it isn't universal. You were like Sri Lanka. How is he still like this? I know. It's been so long. You know what? And this is why I think he's a failure.

He changed his argument between the two of us. This is insane. Aiden, I didn't change You said something different between me than you did to him. You changed my argument.

I changed my mind. Whoa. I'm supporting you. He sat his white ass down and listened. I'm asking why his response to you was different than it was to me

because we both offered similar examples. I gave him a concrete example of Ness saying, okay. Because I know Ness. And he knows Ness. I know Ness.

And he can't fight that. You just said it is and he said why it is. Yo, can I say some shit? Yeah. Everyone's talking about Roe versus Wade, but I'm thinking about

broke versus paid right now. How do y'all feel about that? How do y'all feel about that? How do you feel about that? That's funny, but it's so sad because it did get struck down. Yeah, what? Look. No, isn't it not officially decided yet? It's not official yet.

It's got published. I actually don't know. Are you ready for my conspiracy? I'm slowly turning into Joe Rogan. Ready? Here's my conspiracy. From the head down. We need children to enter the workforce a healthy copy

no no no it's not a bit no listen uh a population this is good their tiny hands because they can they're so nimble in the pringles and you get the pepperoni flavor and then they eat the dust and that's their meal that's what Bo was trying to tell us they have the kids in the factories filling the cans it's not about eating them it's about who fills them

no listen to me you need a birth rate to like continue the economy what the fuck this is a serious problem lower declining birth rates mean there's like a lower like younger workforce

and that is a strain on the economy okay so this is a fucking ploy by the government to stop to make more babies happen cause you're forcing it to make the workforce go because they're fucking evil thank you what's up i understand

what's up you're saying they want to stop women from having abortions for the economy yeah because that's all they give a shit about is like weird control over women's vaginas and uteruses and also getting fucking economy so you think that the whole god part's a ploy i think the god part is it's like i think he's part of the government i think you use god if you're like one of these fucking like whack ass dudes you use god as a justification to like just be a piece of shit and like marry like your fucking 16 year old like fucking youth group yeah because god wanted it that way that shit's real also by the way i was her counselor at young life yeah and we met and i'm 50 and it's like we're getting married because i found my soulmate it's like you're fucking gross fucking kill yourself i'm not

kidding but wait who are we talking about that's it that's any just any 50 year old that's if that guy's listening if they're unless they're a patron if they're a patron welcome to the yard no no the byu thing you brought up yeah remember yeah that's a thing because if they say if they go against the code of the school they can like get uh what do you call it like expelled yeah so that's why they'll always talk about the code yeah this is the byu the interviews where they're like do you think gay people have rights and they go the code yeah i got midterms coming up so the same way the roadrunner poof the same way byu kids do that is how people point to the constitution in america and they're like you know what they didn't talk about abortion yeah also like the slavery thing was like number 14 so it's not in there came later so i don't know how I feel about it.

It's pretty gross. It's got to be in the Constitution. Guns was like two. Guns was two. Yeah. Guns was two. There was someone in the room. It's so close to one.

There was someone in the room who was like, maybe it should be one, guys. Yeah. I feel like we're not taking the gun thing seriously enough here. God, can you imagine if they fucking made the guns thing the First Amendment and how much. We'd all have guns right now? I would have shot Ludwig dead like years ago. Well, I'm just for the sport.

I don't think higher number necessarily means importance because we're not really having soldiers. Every argument. Imagine every Second Amendment conversation that has ever come up. And that conversation is now think of the First Amendment. It's so much more powerful. But like the Fourth amendment is soldiers quartering in your home yeah and people talk about that one all the time yeah that did happen that guy brent from the marines he stayed with us for like a whole week yeah he was he was racist and then i

started reading the constitution six days in and i was like i don't think brent can do this right you're supposed to go yeah you need to go. And the constitution saved us one more day of having him here. Yeah. Uh, by the way, speaking of, um, fucking free speech,

we had a lot, we had a lot of, we had a lot of Elon people fucking simping in the comments just last week. Oh really? Yeah. It was kind of pathetic. Yeah. But he,

he went on stage. He did a funny dance. Oh, she's man. Elon is the ninja of tech billionaires. You know, it's gross you said that i immediately became a fan of elon yeah right yeah because they just stole the hearts and the minds of people yeah i just thought it was really funny it's like damn people like yo bro like you guys fucking you guys are cool but you gotta fuck with elon bro and it's like you are so you are

16 that's crazy it's just so lame would you given the opportunity want to see elon bro and it's like you are so you are 16 that's crazy it's just so lame would you given the opportunity want to see elon's cock oh yeah i'll see everyone's cock no yeah we were comparing it with no this is my feelings got him a child's cock a child's will you stand your ground or will you with her if they're dead because like it's not you're not hurting anyone wait I don't want to see it die what are you doing I don't know like it guys it got overfed got overfed like a like a duck for foe that is the most insane thing you ever I'm not trying to be edgy but i definitely am thinking i think that that saved me i'm not trying to be edgy but i'll look at a dead kid's cock talk about and that's why and that's why free speech is important

amen god god forbid they take our first amendment away so we can't joke about the dead kid's car. Get this man a gun and a dead kid. Yeah. Stat. Stat, General Patton. Or just a gun and a kid. He'll use the gun. Cowgirls make do. A little bit of second, a little bit of first.

You want to get into it? The poker? Here, let's start. Can I ask something first? the poker do you guys smell Aiden it's so heavy my nostrils actually Aiden smells like when you leave

incense in a drawer and then you open the drawer do you leave your clothes in the washer there's this fucking aroma in the house and I'm like trying to source it i'm like walking around like why does it smell so weird in here and i come up here and the smell is still up here and i'm like do you know what that smell is and he instantly is like it's me it's me me and

josh me and josh man were in the kitchen spraying each other with gucci colognes oh that's a lot of excursions and a lot of it come here i want to try to figure out what to do with them we just kind of spray have enough gucci colognes to fucking suicide them like the soda machine well yeah what happened is i bought every single gucci cologne on the store because cutie liked one but i couldn't remember which one so i just did the laziest thing that cost the most money no it's it's kind of romantic it was kind of high effort why you just perked you clicked a button you know i clicked like 80 buttons because you have to check everyone out it was like five in there i had to add a cart no no there's like way more there's

so many there are the ones the rejects they're either men's cologne or oh so she did a fucking pepsi challenge for everyone yeah she has her own hall yeah that's cool she fucking she fucking did a kick flip and then after every kick flip she got another gucci cologne for it that that was that's a very distinguished scent he smells like a fucking he smells like he works at a college yeah you think so like as a professor professor like as like a college like administrative no he's like a professor of like literature and it's hot you smell hot hot smell you you smell like an idiot why are you doing this hey poker oh yeah we can get back all right this is probably the clickbait this is the clickbait this is why a lot of people are here. Maybe

maybe they had to get through the dead kid penis bit. But where they're still here. Fuck it. Poker community. I feel like most of them are still here. I was part of a bit of a of a bit of a talked about thing. So this is today. We're doing this on Monday.

You were on Philip DeFranco. I know. That's crazy. He read out my tweet that said smoke weed family. about thing so this is today we're doing this on monday you were on philip defranco maybe i know that's crazy he read out my tweet that said smoke weed family yeah it's crazy yeah like it was the news yeah you read out he dictated my tweet it sounds really funny textualized anthony i'm like you don't know how weird it is for me to listen to the guy that i watched every day for like two years in high school say smoke weed family about your tweet my tweet on the screen a creator named slime yeah dude that was so funny that last month he filled people in on ukraine war and this month he's actually hitting the hard

hitting news no no i will say the video that i'm in is i'm the second story but the main story is like something about like some sort of bomb or something in like, I don't know, another country. On a lighter note. It's very grim news. Yeah. And it's like footage. Look, I can't remember.

Sexy Phil's range in his news delivery. Just fantastic. But yeah, so, okay, zipper. Pull up. It's a Daniel Negreanu quote tweet. And because someone from the stream what we got a giant poker stream yeah the poker stream is a million dollar cash game and we had nine players mr beast xqc ninja and me and slime were there uh and the the key players in this are

slime and phil helmuth who is the most winning poker player in terms of wsop world series of poker titles yeah but that's tournament and and this is cash, baby bear. And so, okay, there's a lot to unpack here. I'm going to do my best to help out people who really maybe don't play poker and stuff and contextualize this because there's a lot of funny shit going on now and also afterwards,

like right now on the internet. Real quick, Zipper, I am not allowed to, I can't tweet for another like eight hours. Why? Because I got shadow banned for 12 hours because i i said real band well i can't post on twitter here's my tweet because someone said aren't you still down and i posted the tweet uh with my the money next to my head you can get in a non-lethal car accident you freak bitch idiot okay that's what i got but

here's the thing here's the weird part so someone said you added three people shut the fuck up no it's a chain it's a chain so i i tweeted the picture that all the money and someone was like aren't you still down because i did lose money at the tournament but i had yours and i took a funny picture and then i replied to that person as a joke which i think is received as a joke and still funny uh i hope your get in a car accident right for verbatim kind of like drill yeah and then some fucking poker normie orbiting comes in and says like i'm an asshole for like wishing death upon somebody and also like that i talk a lot of good shit now but i was like fanboying in front of phil helms which is all not true

and then i replied that to say it is possible to get in a non-lethal car accident freak bitch oh i see but it can be interpreted as get in if i only saw that one i would read it yeah right but this person reported me anyway and so i caught a 12 uh a 12 hour ban this morning all right nice job elon where's your free speech now huh so i can't fix this website dude all this shit has been going on on Twitter, and I can't do anything. I literally can't. I can't even retweet. I can't follow people.

I'm in the fucking gulag. I can message people. Damn. Anyway, okay, Zipper, go back to the clip. This is the clip that kind of started everything. It's Daniel Reganou, who is a professional poker player. He's very fucking renowned. And this is it.

You just want to play it, and i'll fucking kind of explain what's going on so i moved all in so okay pause here so i move all in uh phil i i don't know what phil has but we both have aces i have a lower kicker and uh if phil calls my all in i lose all the money most likely because i need a six to come to win the hand. I'm basically like, I want Mr. Beast out of there. I want to maybe get I have an ace, I have a good hand. I want Phil out of the fucking pot or to call me with shit. So keep going.

There he is. God, X is so money, bro. He looks like he owns Chaosies. Fuck. money bro he looks like he owns chaos okay so i put phil in a sick spot right because i'm goaded look at him freak out pause okay so what happened right there is reverse reverse we kind of talked over it and i missed it

okay so phil he throws his his hand forward a little bit and this is this is this can be considered a fold, right? It's where you push your cards forward. The dealer touches them. Usually in casinos, the dealer touches it. It's a dead hand. And I would win the hand because he folded.

And so, but Phil's option here is just to call me or fold. That's the only two options. I slam the table. I'm like, he folded. I get there. Yeah, you clearly immediately think that's a fold because you slam the table like I got it. Right.

Well, listen to the commentators right here, Tim. And Helmy just folded the best hands. Yeah. And the commentators

also. Okay, stop. So right there, Phil says, spin your hand as if to like, show me what you got.

You got me, right? This is pretty like good nonverbal poker stuff. I played a lot of hands. We'll get to that in my life and at least up to this

point and so i'm still looking at phil i have been in this situation before on a random table where i table my hand and it wasn't a fold and i look like a fucking idiot i wait a really long time um and you can keep going oh my god and so i'm waiting i'm waiting and then i look at him and then i flip my hand over no i didn not fold? No, I didn't fold. I'm thinking. Did you see his hand? He showed like A7 or something. All right, stop.

And so he says he didn't fold, right? And this is a problem because I showed him my weaker hand. Now he can just call me, and he's most likely to win, and it just sucks, right? So the whole poker community is freaking out right now because they think that Phil Helmuth kind of it's called an angle shoot where you kind of like trick somebody without. Yeah, you like use emotion, right? Use emotion to like trick them into thinking you've done something you haven't.

Yeah. Or any any sort of like outside edge you can get at a casino to fool somebody or in a poker table. I've seen other examples where like you act like you're going to put your chips in so they immediately call but then you don't act. You pull them back. Dude, I've seen that. Oh man, this guy got diced.

And then you know they would call you now instead of not knowing what they'll do. And you know, you learn this through playing a shitload of poker with fucking wild people

is that you just chill out, right? And that's what I did. And it just looked like a fold but apparently like Tom Duan said to flip it. Keating on my right said to flip it. I got the context

because I was next to Tom. What happened is Tom did this. He motioned his arm like come like show me what you got yeah and then phil pushed it over tom took a peek yeah and then keating who's on the other side of the table next to you goes let me see him because you can show your cards if if you're all if you're all there's no more action there's no more action so you can show your cards and so then and then phil this motion, the spin motion. Keating does. No, no, Phil.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Phil Hamid does this for Tom to flip them over. Oh, okay, yeah, yeah. And so then Tom flips them over, and then that's when you're like, okay, for sure he folded. Yes. And then those three, who are the pros at the table, were all like, no, that's not what happened,

even though it looked like it to the the 60 dude even other pros like they're they're like using this to just take a dump on phil's mouth and it's really funny what i thought was cringe was the outcome of it where it kept going and then they he was like oh well let me strike you a deal all right keep going dude so he sees my hand. He sees it's weaker. It's in his interest to call. You showed me the worst hands. I thought you folded. I thought you folded.

Let's have a deal. I don't think you should be punished for folding your hand. All right, so what kind of deal? I don't know. Okay, pause. I play regular casino poker with, like, shit regs and nits. Like, no one makes deals. Like, this is a friendlys and and it's like no one makes deals like this is this is a friendly game and it's a loose game there's people showing their cards to each other you you you maintain as much sort of like uh integrity as you can but it's like it's it's

a little fun it's a little loose it's a lot of fucking money but I'm I'm here for content you're all in for 35 grand right now I'm in for 35 grand which is all in for $35,000 right now. I'm in for $35,000, which is all of my stack, actually, at this time. And so it's like, okay, so I've never... When he says, let's make a deal, I've never made a deal. I've never ran it twice. I don't play that way. Like, I just played fucking normal casino poker. Keep going.

Money back. We're putting $5,000. Yeah, put in $5,000. Put in $5,000 is fair. What do you think is fair? $5,000? $5,000 or $10,000 or something. That is a little...

I've just never seen someone show... Okay, stop there. When I say that, I have seen people show their cards. I have seen this go on. I guess what I was trying to say is that I've never seen someone in that fashion, you know, show their cards like that. And so I'm just kind of i'm kind of pissed about it but it's like whatever you know 5k is a cheap price takes the pot whatever i get to keep

my 30k stack keep going i know i'm just like i think it was confusing that the hands were and i just fucking pay up all right i call it so next card yeah so okay but sorry stop i i'm confused i don't know what that means i didn't know the hand's supposed to be dead i was like okay so it's like pay five and then i get to see another card and then i can fold. I don't know what that means. I didn't know the hand's supposed to be dead. I was like, okay, so it's like pay five, and then I get to see another card, and then I can fold after? I don't know. But the deal is to just 5K, hands dead, and Phil scoops. You can keep going. No, you just conceding the pot.

No, no, no. And I was like, oh, that was my action. Oh, thank you. We're only trading 5K. Dude, the weird part is it's fucking six creators. Hold on, hold on. This part's crazy. So Phil did not fold.

He did show his card, which is totally fine in the cash game. Okay, stop right here. I say, so what you can do, it's called rabbit hunting. Some casinos are about it, some aren't, but you can have the dealer show the cards that are about to come,

even though the hand's over, just to see what would have happened. You don't, it doesn't matter. In poker, you're not supposed to think about the results. You're to come even though the hand's over just to see what would have happened. It doesn't matter. In poker, you're not supposed to think about the results. You're supposed to think about the best decision at the time with the information you have. I'm like, fucking run it. Let's see it. I just want to see

because Keating was next to me. He's like, we don't have to see it. It's okay. He's trying to protect me like his son. I was like, let's take a look. Keep going. Dealer runs it out. like his son. And I was like, let's take a look. It keep going. Slime thought he folded. Dealer runs it out. And a little bit of business going there.

And the A6 hits. And he would have lost. That is so painful. Dude, okay, what's funny is he stands up and dances about it. He literally does a little dance, like Fortnite. Yeah. Could you? Okay, you pause it. brutal dude he stands up and dances about it he literally does a little dance like fortnite yeah could you okay you have a question when he was saying uh it's a good deal for you could you

hear him yes because am i i thought you would have lost your shit at that no uh why because it just seems like it seems like a taunting thing to say like because he is i feel like he so clearly made the mistake and for him to be like it's a good deal for you i'll provide a little more context so zipper i gave you a doug polk uh link at the time stamp doug polk releases like fucking 40 minutes ago and he made a a whole video about phil helmuth at this game not only with me okay play this where i'm driving this is back to the most important point which is this is a classic situation where phil helmuth doesn't realize what's happening in the world outside of just to phil helmuth specifically what he did here caused a mistake from a player that never plays poker okay right there uh so you can kill it

okay right there uh so you can kill it so that that's there's a big sentiment online that i'm this like nubile little otter bear yeah our little kitten that has net that's just like a fucking creator that's like has slime tv.org yeah and i banked a million dollars at 32 and i'm playing a big game i like's up, poker community? I've been playing live poker for about four years. I'm a losing player. I'm bad. I like to shove it in. I like to gamble.

I can play well. I can play concentrated and focused and do all the right stuff, but I get bored like any shitter. I support the poker ecosystem, basically. It's really funny that it's like people are dumping on phil for like this fucking idiot had no idea what you were doing phil you basically hit a child and it's like i have seen i have seen way wilder angles i have seen like i've seen suck outs i've seen slow rolls i've seen dealers fucking boot people i've seen floor calls that sucked i had a floor come once and a guy reached his hand out of the muck,

flipped it over because he didn't read the board and he beat me. And I called the floor, which I usually never do. And the guy said it stands and I lost the hand. Reached it out of the fucking muck. I've seen some crazy shit. I've called the floor, you know, all this shit.

So this was a new experience for me, but it was like, I wasn't like a deer in the headlights. I'm like, you know what? This is fine. But in the moment it was six creators and three poker players, you know, like Tom Dwan, Phil Hellmuth and Alan Keating. And they were all in accord.

Michael Keating. It's, I'm going to call it a Michael Keating this whole time. I think it's an actor. An actor, isn't it? Yeah. I love Alan Keating. Yeah. But those three are poker players,

and they were all in accord that this was a mistake on Slime's end, and they should do a bargain. At the table, really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Even Tom After, who was like, he was pretty chill the whole time.

He's like, it was, he didn't mean it. And I don't think like, I think people take any chance they can to like dump on Phil, like anyone. And I agreed. Like, I genuinely don't think, especially without context, think people take there any chance they can like dump on phil like anyone and uh and i agreed like i genuinely don't think especially that context doug polk agreed like that he thought that he was angling me or anything i gen it was just confusing and kind of weird but i should have just waited longer right and that's coming from the guy who had happened to who is not a fucking a new by a

little bear i'm a fucking degenerate shitter. I've seen it. Cool it in my car at six in the morning, driving home from the fucking bike. Stuck six hundred dollars when that mattered. Like, look, I'm OK. And it was also for five K. Another thing about this is that I'm here for fucking content. Ludwig staked me 50 percent.

OK, so it's like I'm not trying to fucking, I'm not trying to call the floor and make it weird and make a situation. And then like Phil's pissy at the table. That is not my job right now. And it was for 5k. I get away with it. Fucking fine. I don't care.

You end up in the watch mojo. Yeah, I do. Right. And then the floor comes down. It's like this whole big thing. I'm like, well,

Ludwig would kill me. Ludwig gets mad when i yell at chat that's fucking that's that's killing vibes real fast you know it'd be it'd be a tough first 90 minute yeah you know if the floor i guess what i was confused about is like so if you have your cards and you push them towards the middle does that not just always mean fold so there's a lot going on every casino has different rules uh sometimes like by state sometimes just by casino for instance the bike has a show one show both rule it's like you can show one card to fuck with somebody after they fold but if they say show one show both you have to show the other some casinos you show one muck the other so it's like

some casinos it's like if you put your hand over the line and and release it and it's face up that's a fold so a lot of places if the dealer touches it it's face up, that's a fold. So a lot of places, if the dealer touches it, it's mucked. It's dead. That's why dealers will say like, hey, keep a chip on your fucking card so I don't accidentally grab it, right, if you're next to him. So it really does depend. And in a game like that that's very like loose and friendly,

which it was, there's all kinds of shit going on, you know. You know, I broke a little rule. I said if you call, I broke a little rule. Yeah. I said, if you call, I call to somebody else and the dealer was like, you can't do that.

Right. They don't fucking be like this at the bike. Right. We get crazy, which is not cool. It's not like, but you know,

I just folded right now. My take, which was, I think five head because Phil Hellmuth also that night, the dealers towards the end, he was like losing.

Like he was losing a lot and going in, everyone was like, the pros are going to fuck these creators and take all their money. But Phil Hellmuth also that night, the dealers towards the end, he was like losing, like he was losing a lot and going in. Everyone was like, the pros are going to fuck these creators and take all their money. But Phil Hellmuth is down like a hundred K. And, and he was like, he had barely any money left and the dealers would keep like shuffling the

cards. But technically you are supposed to lift your hands and then put them back on at the end of the shuffle. After you cut very simple maneuver has zero effect on the cards. You're not shuffling in this motion. You are just releasing and then putting him back as like a clearance thing a compliance thing i guess for cameras and uh and he was and he asked both dealers at different points he's like you got to do that you got to do that and i was like it's like a juju thing he's like he's like no it's just the rules you got to do that and i was like okay if you're going to be

so anal that you're making the dealer lift their fucking hands up for three seconds then also be anal about not pushing your cards in the middle which is a muck motion yeah and keep them behind with your chip on it you know just be consistent yeah it was a little i mean he's it's funny it's kind of like it's kind of like leffen you know how leffen we always talk about how he's like he's a o2 shitter in a fucking god gamer's body and oh like mentality yeah like mentality but he's just a god he's just like us and like phil helms is like 57 and he's running like the fucking he's running the tilt activities of a fucking like a shit rag and it's beautiful i'm not saying that to shit on him i genuinely think phil was like fun to play with and fine dude it was so fun to shit on him though

and it was he was getting shit on ken ken chen my old boss used to play poker a lot he was like he was messaging aiden and me in a chat he's just like this is the greatest poker stream ever yeah i i think ken ken contextualized it really well and and for the record like this is probably i think this is the my favorite stream i have ever watched period like i was engaged for almost the entire thing until i went i fell asleep at like 2 a.m i couldn't keep watching anymore um and ken summarized it really well he was like for pro players this is a dream scenario you're playing a massive cash game with a bunch of fish who don't really know how to play for the most part like a bar like you guys are a little more experienced like botes has been studying but like on the on the

most part right it's three professional professionals playing with a bunch of people who aren't professionals and have a lot of money mr beast and every pro every pro is watching them wishing that they were in their seat to take advantage of the situation and every pro is sitting at home watching them fuck it up and lose because there were so many moments the first the first half of the game when mr beast was just running it down dude he just kept buying back and kept all inning and kept losing and phil could not get a piece to save his life man it was so fucking funny and alex meanwhile is running as hot as you can possibly run for like the first half of the night and there's that one hand where she destroys him

with like ace nine yeah yeah he like goes on this he loses it about uh he just can't take it anymore he's like how is this happening that's another thing i've seen guys you you like it's funny because other pros love to shit on phil and but it's like his little outbursts i've seen crazier shit because we all have if you're a fucking if you play any live poker for like a stretch of time you have seen people get really fucking mad i had once i flopped this uh straight on a guy and he was like russian it was like for a $600 pot. He tanked for like fucking so long. I never called the clock. Flip over my straight.

He has like ace three or something. He's like, I'm going to fucking kill this guy. I didn't do shit. I don't fucking care. He's not going to kill me. Well, also what's funny is like Phil would have these outbursts, and then we would all just make fun of him while he did it. Yeah, it was awesome.

Jimmy would be like, dude, you're such a pussy yeah he doesn't call a pussy there was the one clip where jimmy jimmy sucks out on him with a with a way way worse hand he gets a flush he has yeah he has queen jimmy has like queen four against his nines calls him all the way down and then somehow wins the hand doesn't even know and ph hand. Phil loses and he's like, this is fucking insane. I tried to do this. He's so dumb. Every good player who is playing the game correctly

has been taken to fucking town by someone who's just playing any two. He's so old and it's happened so much. But he still gets mad like it's the first time. It's actually really beautiful. You know still gets mad like it's the first time. Yeah. And it's actually really beautiful.

You know who I actually did feel bad for? Is Alan. Alan tilted hard, bro. Alan minus $1.13 million. Alan tilted into oblivion. Show the chart. That was minus? Yeah. You didn't know that?

Look what he ended the night at, bro. Oh, dude. I was like, damn, he went hot. No. That's a down arrow. No, he lost $1.13 million in eight hours. Allen was calling anything. And there's this one hand.

This was right before I went to bed. This is Anthony. The flop has come up. I forget the cards, but Anthony has a 1% chance of winning the hand and bluffs Allen off of the hand after Allen has just lost like six hands straight. That's some great bluffs. And Anthony bluffs Allen off of the hand after Allen has just lost like like six hands straight some great bluffs and Anthony bluffs him off and uh and then I can't remember if you show or not I

always showed yeah it was a really friendly table a lot of people like even Tom Duan was showing who was probably the biggest nit is he he did so there's a stat in poker called uh vpip virtue voluntarily put in pot which is basically, Voluntarily Put in Pot, which is basically if you're putting money in preflop, if you're getting into the game. And it's sort of a stat that tells you how active somebody is. And like a tournament player or something, you're looking like 24, 25, maybe. I could be wrong.

But like Allen's VPIP was like 86. So he's playing 86% of all the hands he's getting. Being involved. Which is really bad. I was playing like 60. MrBeast was playing like 80. So that was a little action corner was us. Playing with MrBeast fucking sucks, dude.

Yeah. It's not poker. It's just gambling. Yeah. Which is fine. But it's like, sometimes you just want to play poker. You don't want to play against KingDeuce. And it's like, and I was card dead, bro.

I was just not getting shit. And so I was like, play let's play the video game i'm a poker god speaking of gambling this is from the previous poker poker stream because you just did a different creator poker stream a little before this and it's the one that i think alex organized right yeah and this is the one with like sycono and Leslie, and you guys are all playing together. And there's that one hand where you two blind all in. Me and Ludwig, yeah. Against Leslie. Leslie has pocket aces. And of course, she's going to call their all in. She's the best hand in the game.

It makes sense, right? They don't even know what cards they have. It goes all the way down. Leslie has hit a set so she has three three aces it is so it's the most it's extremely powerful it is such a good her chances of winning are so good and on the last card on the river slime hits a straight i turn on his terrible i think it's like a five two off yep hand and uh you guys she shows her aces first and you guys are like yeah it's like she's she's won it uh and anthony stands up flips over his

cards without looking to fold them into the center not to fold them just to you know show what i have oh yeah okay so i haven't seen them the table i'm just cc and you still don't look when you flip and then ludwig is like no no no no look look and then Anthony looks down and is like I hit my straight you slow rolled the shit out of Leslie on accident no I didn't dude no you're stupid I watched the clip so many times

it's not a slow roll if you haven't seen your cards it was a slow roll because you're dumb and couldn't register thoughts fast enough I called it an unintentional slow roll a slow roll is an intentional's i think it's like within the definition of it right so it's actually not a slow roll because like it's an intentional fucking with somebody a slow brain to give them like you know to fuck with them but i tabled my cards so once the information's out there i don't need to say i got it i'm just showing you that's that's up to everyone's eyes to register that i

got a straight, right? The fact that I didn't read the board isn't a slow roll because my information's out there. Which means he's dumb. I thought it was... It's just not a slow roll. I didn't think that was the definition of the term because you just like... Yeah, no, it's not. You flip over one card first.

You take a while to flip over the second one. It's like if you knew what your hand was, it would be egregious. And it's just funny that it happens that way because she's so confident that she's won in the cliff for so long yeah and then it's finally revealed that you get your but i am i am absolved of all sin because i didn't see my cards oh yeah you didn't do anything wrong i'm not saying but to slow roll somebody's a wrong thing so you just can't like you have to divorce that concept from like you can't call it slow rolling because it's an evil act. I guess, yeah.

Also, if Phil slow rolled me, I'd be mad. To me, Leslie's experience is probably almost the same there. I'm not saying it's your fault. I just thought it's a funny clip. It's not, though. Well, Leslie...

Are you saying Leslie because she doesn't play poker? Yeah, it's like she's so excited about hitting her set and winning this huge hand. Here it is. Here it is. Sam hasn't even looked yet. So, yeah yeah she puts over races oh those hurts we're

like wow i can't i'm trying to read the board to see if anything can win she's so excited oh this hurts these glasses are fire two dollars they're great by the way yeah two bucks to the gas station you're out no eight two three four station and then i just throw it out over there you flip over the other one so oh my god yeah it's not a slow roll i just you just can't say that i think it's semantics it doesn't really matter no i i think it's just not fucking true okay okay sorry the experience of getting slow rolled is the in from les Leslie's perspective, she still like felt bad cause she lost the hand. And that's what I thought was funny. Sure.

Use different words to describe it. That is the point of what I'm trying to say. I don't think you, I didn't bring up. It's like saying I looked at a dead kid's dick. Like it's just not like, it's just fucked and wrong to say. You do say that though.

Yeah, but I didn't today. Right. He didn't do that. But you would, but he's, if I brought you a kid. My man.

Don't, I'm not, that's not where I want to i love this guy this guy's cool anyway i beat all the pros i made way more fucking money than that yeah you what do you i was gonna ask you think do you think the reason why that was the case it's kind of like in melee when like you're like a pretty good player and then you play someone who's like really bad and you just don't expect them to make bad decisions and you get hit by f smash more like that kind of stuff no it's like i i so i'll give you some context of this i used to watch this try guys they would always do like 3v1 against people in real life and they did a bunch of different challenges of 3v1 uh like chess players and they'd always lose kind of like bros versus pros which is a series i do but online and they did one against a pro poker player you just fucking mop them i

mean like you can't have that much added like skill if you just go all in pre-flop because it's like you can always just get lucky you know what i mean any two can win it okay so the strategy against people that play any two cards is wait for good cards but if you don't get your good cards you're just not going to be able to get it in yeah this is that's it this is what changed the course of smash poker nights for me was that i started talking to talrog about like how to play with like people who aren't very good and they were just like yeah just fold everything until you have a good hand and only play good hands and that's when i started winning money yeah that's how you which is like it's just so grindy it's it's boring it's very boring it's easier when you play at home like when you're online because like you fold your hand and you

just do and you're probably playing other games too like a lot of people who play on like yeah yeah you'll have like 10 windows up while you play um and that way it's like a lot more entertaining but i think when you sit at the table especially in this environment where it's like you're talking you're hanging out where it's like a lot of the time if you're at an actual casino you might be on like your fucking phone and live just moves extremely slow like the how you get how for anyone doesn't know to be a successful poker player it's about playing the most hands you can so that the variance which is when ludwig sucks out on you like a fucking asshole like those those those happenstances are reduced because it only happens five percent of the time what is sucks out?

Sucks out means you have a really good hand and then a card comes or two cards that invalidate your hand and you get sucked out of your victory. Oh, I see. And they win. I just messaged Ninja and I said,

you never showed me your dick. I want to see it. I want to see what you got. Did I miss something? Is there a reason you want to see Ninja's dick? At the table, it was the first time I ever met Ninja. Because he wasn't actually supposed to go.

Oh, yeah. How did that happen? Because he doesn't live in Los Angeles, right? No. I called up all the people. My favorites were XQC. He came. That was very nice.

Mr. Beast, he came. That was very nice. Slime, Alex. Was it very nice that I came? And that was the croup I got. And then Mr. Beast bees called me and he's like hey ludwig i'm here with i'm here with ninja and tim the tat man they want to play tomorrow and uh and so like i i messaged uh tim the time in the next day because i was like i'd rather he

play tim was like i'm busy message ninja and so i was like all right well i'll message ninja and i message ninja and he's like he's like 100k is a lot wait really yeah that's surprising to me and i was like no it's not you made like 40 mil on mixer it is a lot but it's not for him no it's not which was proved by the way later that night because i brought it up to him and he's like oh yeah i was just making an excuse he's like and he brought up he's like oh yeah i made the mixer money dude ninja rocks up to the function with a hundred grand in cash no security in a fucking like plastic bag like trader joe that's hot serious i'm like that's so sick i'm like we're really in the sauce that's so funny of him because he looked he has such a distinct look too he's literally on two billboards

in la right now it's like it's like some guy could literally be looking like wait that's the guy on the billboard yeah he's 100k in his bag like yeah yeah just 100 large and then and then mr beast was like do you bring security he's like no mr beast has like four guys or something like he's he's about it yeah i also asked ninja his mixer deal at one point and he started fucking signing like a baseball fucking catcher. He kept doing this but I couldn't catch it. Oh, like he was giving you the numbers? Yeah, he did it like five digits and I was

like, I can't keep up, bro. It's an eight-figure deal but they're all not zeros. Yeah. He kept going like he's trying to get me to do it. He gives you one of these. It's like, don't ask. If you turn the light behind, it's a wolf. I love that part where he chopped with Phil and then sea walked.

Yeah. That was a great moment. Dude, if he crip walked at the next New Year's drop, that would reverse everything. No. I think he would get killed. That would be so tight. tight i mean what color is his hair that's true about it he's out of blood he won he won the hearts and minds of people so many people are like dude ninja's like funny and based he was a ball of energy and well before he came

after i invited him because uh because he's like oh i you know what i'm actually down i was like okay cool and i said i going to make at minimum two lawsuit jokes, which is about the Ninja Pokeman lawsuit thing. And he just sent me back reverse smiley face. And then we get there and we're talking and he starts out with high energy and we get more comfortable,

more comfortable. And he's like, dude, I was nervous when I was coming here. Oh, because of that? I was like, wow. He's like, I thought you were going to roast me all night and I had like five things prepared he had statements i was like he had his lawyer come up from a trap door they just appear up rising platform yeah the poker poker games are fun it's like it's like the vibe i think also not having your phone is like just really kind of cool yeah uh like one of the production guys said the other day it was like how often do you just not have your phone with nine people it's not it's true you know uh so it's like i think the vibe was very fun like i think ninja i think ninja's sense

of humor is like not my taste if i can say it nicely but i thought he was like a really he was good energy you know uh and it was just cool. Better than Phil saying, X gon' give it to ya over and over again. That's fine, too, because he's the old guy. Everyone's playing their role, and it's kind of cool, you know? We kept roasting him for being old, though. He said it so many times.

We kept roasting him. Wait, who was it? Phil? Phil Homer said, X gon' give it to you. Yeah. Rest in peace, though. And then I made jokes about how he likes DMX, and it was just really, like, I'm just in this spot, you know?

Arf, arf. Dude, DMX was younger than Phil that's true whoever whoever had that bet of who was gonna die first got a lot of money it's a big payout yeah five to one but yeah it was not be a fucked up website oh dude oh just side betting who dies first it's gotta be real whoa we can make it that's fucked up. Cause then there's like vested interest in killing that person. Murder should be void.

Like old face masks. Yeah. But then you David Carradine him. What is that reference? David Carradine. He's the Kung Fu guy. He was found fucking dead in like a hotel closet in Thailand. They said he was jerking off on himself.

But people say that may not be the case. So that's what happens. If you were like, they said Slime's going to outlive Nick. Oh, you think they kill to rig it. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. And then you end up with dead children, then you hit the drop down and

some images pop up. You said drop down. I was thinking of Tomato Town. Little Fortnite song. I'm always thinking about the game yeah you know me a fortnight yeah that's not you that's me hey how was your one take jake my one take jake yeah you had to do it okay so so i talked to nick about how to do this i think it's funny enough that we can play it really yeah and if it's not funny enough, we'll cut it. I want you to know that he talked to me about it and I said not to do it.

And his decision because he talked to me and I said the opposite was to do it. It's funny because he didn't word it like that. Yeah, yeah. It's funny because it sounds like we talked about it. Oh, yeah. You're right. It sounds like we talked about it and I said, yeah, yeah. Good idea.

But I actually said, a three-minute video in the middle of a podcast seems like a snoozer. Let's just post it online first. I'm okay either way ultimately. If it sucks, we'll just talk about it after and i'll post it out it's just funny you might as well have not talked to me yeah the context is is i am a one take jake god on mogul mail and did you do it just now when you were fucking 30 minutes late it was a one take 30 minutes late it was a it was a it was a three take so it's not a one one take well i often one take but you just said you just did it i not a one take. But you didn't one take. Well, I often one take. But you just said you just did it.

I mean, I just, like, I did it in one take. You did three. Well, it took me, like, I didn't edit it together. There is one take that, but it took you three takes. Let's just roll your goddamn mogul mail. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What's the topic here? Okay, roll it.

Roll it, zip. The scientific community is in shambles. And honestly, so am I. I don't know if you guys have seen this or not. It was a couple weeks ago. The CDC, the Center for Disease Control, they found out, they put out a study that said that bears, like the animal,

like in the woods, can squirt. So this came out April 12th. And there's this whole study, there's this whole article with this link, and it was this landmark thing. And it's just so crazy because we don't think about bears as someone who can ejaculate female bears. For those of you who know, squirt is basically, ejaculate, you know, female bears. For those of you who don't know, squirt is basically female ejaculate.

And what it is is also kind of a scientific mystery. Some people think it's pee. Some people think it's the white Powerade flavor. But no matter what you think, there's definitely some crazy stuff going down in the future. Okay, so this dropped, right? The next day, who comes out of the woodwork? None other than Mizkif.

I have eaten more grizzly bear pussy than anyone I know, and I have never gotten squirt on my face. I love the Connor reply at the top. I've known Mizzy a long time. I didn't know he ate grizzly bear pussy at all. You know, I didn't think anyone did that. But what he's saying is that not only is he an expert on this particular concept, but that he has never seen this happen.

Basically directly challenging the CDC. Now, look, the CDC, maybe they won't have the best track record right some people died but that's beside the point what is the craziest thing is the cdc clapped back and i you know i saw some dms i can't show i can't leak i've been talking to mizzy a little bit but basically what's going to happen is that they have invited Miskif into their lab, and they are going to broadcast Miskif eating a bear's pussy live on television. And there's a whole link, and there's a whole website. There's also a couple of sports lines. You guys, if you don't know, you can bet on things like this, whether or not the bear will come, whether or not the bear will squirt and things like that.

So I got to say, this is this is perhaps the biggest thing a live streamer can do is directly challenge and perhaps even upend real evidence and studies from a government body, right? You know, the closest thing we got to this was when XQC did the whole Roe v. Wade thing. I didn't. This was recorded days earlier. I'm really excited to see what happens here. That's crazy. Isn't that crazy? Yeah.

In the chain. Now, this doesn't come out. Okay, here's where I break. Just pretend there's a tweet here. But it's rumored that Jill Biden has stake in the company that put out the research that the CDC announced, right? So the way this works is that research gets done by private organizations or companies or even nonprofits because the CDC just kind of funds it. Anyway, Jill Biden is saying...

That's it. That's it. That's it. Yeah, I was kidding. Okay, so that's my one take Jake. Now, I didn't rehearse this. I was driving home and I was in traffic and I was just thinking about what the story was that I was going to break on Mogul Mail and that was it. So like what the story was uh that i was gonna break on mogul

mail and that that was it so that was genuinely a one take 30 seconds i was like that's probably a real article but squirting means something i don't know yeah and the next one you're like ah inspect element yeah for audio listeners i pulled up three different tweets and just inspect elemented and change the things so so there's a visual aid to this. So what do you think, bitch? Anyone can do your stupid job. Well, you do default to just being a conspiracy theorist like Alex Jones. How is that a conspiracy?

You said Fauci lied, people died. I didn't say that. I said some people lied. You said that Jill Biden's Dude, I had this whole idea in the car where I was like, jill biden is going to be like but it's too hard to like do all the drama but it's like ms was going to be like eating the bear's pussy like live on tv and then like the the head would fall off of the costume and

it's jill biden and that was going to be like this story but i didn't flesh it out because i didn't care enough sure so i didn't finish it yeah you know something i thought about or i learned this weekend i uh i used to share my spotify account with a friend from high school and he would just use my account and he has a couple he only all he really did was like make a couple playlists in it and one of them is just uh it just says drake talking and it's just songs where drake doesn't rap instead he's like talking yeah you just put all of them in one playlist that's crazy yeah and i was just listening to it that's for that's for that's for first dates it was crazy i was listening to all my drive uh to the shoot and um and there's a part in the song where it's a really old song i can't remember what album it's like an earlier

drake album he calls himself one take drake and i was like that was way before we were saying one take tony we were like 11 and i'm like yeah i'm like damn we gotta say that now i'm one take yeah he started it that's actually you should have just defaulted to that. One take Drake? Yeah. No, because that's exclusive to Drake. Yeah, but you're the same as him. You played with Ninja.

It's just rhyming instead of alliteration. We did both play with Ninja. One take Tony. Oh, no, he says one take Jake. Oh, Jake. That is still rhyming. So what'd you think, bitch? Dude, it was all right.

It wasn't bad, man. You just have different, you have, like, mine is like. I had to make shit up. You actually have the news report on. I had to be creative. I didn bad man you just have different you have like mine is like i had to make shit up you actually have the news report on i'd be creative i didn't think have you ever been creative to be clear i didn't think you were gonna do that what do what i thought it was gonna be real why because that's what i also thought it was real oh that's why you didn't think it'd be funny i still don't even know like what was the competition in your eyes that he couldn't make that video couldn't one take Jake. But he just did it. I mean, he failed at the end.

Okay, but I ran out of creative runway. Because I want to take a nap. Sometimes the news article ends, you know? All the facts have been said. Then you just got to end the video. All I'm saying is if I had the entire story to go, I could finish it out. It wasn't bad.

Would you want to upload it? That's a real question. I don't know. And that's only on you. I do think it's weird that you didn't do a real news story why would i do that that's boring because the idea is you can do what what he is saying he can do well i went above and beyond i not only did a news story i made it funny because it was about bears i just don't think you i think the only reason you broke is you ran out of random ideas yeah but you would have never run out of random ideas had you done it the same way.

Because that's what I'm saying is it's so easy that I needed to challenge myself. But you failed because you made it harder. No, I didn't fail. I just was tired. I wanted to take a nap, so I didn't finish it out. I also think it's easier because you're using like source material that you think is inherently funny as opposed to trying to deliver something that might be drier and then trying to be funny on top. No, I could do that because that's what a podcast is.

You're also saying like imagine an actor gets halfway through their lines and then they forget the rest. And they're like, well, I just didn't want to say the rest of the lines. Well, I'm not being paid to one. I proved I basically I think I proved that I could do what he does and more. I'm and more. Well, would there have been a line, if you didn't cross over a halfway duration point, would you have said you failed?

Like, what's the percentage here for you? Yeah, I guess like, what's the- Because you didn't get 100. What duration was I did my whole story? Because the Joe Biden shit just started being like, too off the dome, and I was like, this is stupid. Because I was going to say, what's like the length of the video?

Dude, well, his are long. It just inherently gets harder. That's what's fucked up. His mobile mails are too long. Yeah. So it's like i i wasn't gonna they're great like 11 minutes we we're the jury he doesn't get to the side he doesn't get to the side we have to be the jury here so i think mogul males longer and i think that in mogul male ludwig doesn't break and if he does he edits it out i don't edit and whenever wait what you don't edit at all i've never edited a Mogul Mail ever.

I will just end the recording and start a new recording and start from the top. That's hardcore. Okay, okay. That's actually insane. That's fine. But you don't always one-take Jake.

You stop and you try again. It's always a single take. It's just not always my first take. Is that what actors say after they shoot a five-minute long scene and then they have to retake it? But the idea of saying one-take Jake is there was only one. Agreed and you did it clarify yes your honor thank

you uh sustained sustained uh i think he failed because the duration was shorter i think significantly so and then he also didn't finish and you could, yeah, I believe you. I'm like one of them bears. Squirting? You're like a squirting bear. No, I know. You're a squirting bear? No, I'm like Miskiff's bears. And that is my decision

because I think that you have to finish to say you did a one take. Eamon? Eamon's the biggest slime apologist I know. I want to know My man. what your goal was by making Are you trying to prove that you could make the type

of videos that he could make yeah and that's a mogul male yeah yeah yeah then i think he succeeded wait you think he succeeded bows in the house yeah if that was the goal then i think he succeeded but he didn't do that yeah but i showed a fraction of it and i think that is saying it was believable enough to think that he could have kept going yeah it was enough of an example that it was like if he had to make the video about jason r then like yeah he could have just made that zipper one smack on your desk for i think he succeeded he he isn't slime two smacks for one smack before you even stop start talking bro two smacks for a hundred dollars and okay wow i got you zipper i got fucking 20k in my room right now wow you know my favorite austin austin powers bit is is uh is from the first one and scott's like he like dr evils got him set up on

a contraption scott's like why don't we just like kill him now like we'll we'll shoot him it'll be fun we'll do it together it's like no scott he's like i have a gun in my room that line always stuck with me is like he just has a gun in his room that's that's his best role you think so yeah i can't think about what about the napster i haven't seen the italian job the italian job i love it yeah yeah i love the italian i want to buy a gun. I do too. I want to get a Desert Eagle. I don't just have it next to my desk.

Wow. I don't like. Okay. So I thought I was extreme. Fuck. It's a pistol. They're so big. Pull up the Elon Musk meme where you're running away from me.

A Desert Eagle is huge. I know. They're stupid. Have you shot one? It looks like. Dude, you're so feeble. Yeah. I would like, I would like, i would like i would like it would

kick back and like break my skull you'd be like this for the next six years because your back would hurt from shooting once probably yeah i feel like fortnite's the only game that shows a desert eagle it's real size like just fucking they're so big i got a gun so big size you'd never want a gun no i don't fuck with it. Definitely not. Of course, you're fucking Canadian, bro. Yeah. No one asked.

You're from California. That's not true. You're from New... Oh, shit. Live free or die. No seatbelts. Guns only. Peter has guns. Peter has ancient guns.

Really? Yeah, he's got like 70 year old muskets wow that actually is respect for the first amendment i'll say that yeah ancient god yeah if you if you're the ones that shoot little balls then he's got a pack of vines and rocks if you own an ar you don't care about the second amendment that's peter peter's got the fucking cannon on him he loads that up every morning he's got the big iron thwarts away marauders so big um there was another oh yeah the last thing about the poker thing i think it was that production specifically made me look the most unattractive i could ever look really it's like my head's kind

of tilted down so you see like all of my bald head my ears stick out i'm in my mustache phase which is a problem and so it's like i i i just kept watching and i'm like who would fuck this guy you just look bad because you have a mustache no i think everyone at the table looked bad i think that they're i think he looked great i think no i think everyone looks great too i think everyone's i think the way they lit it everyone's skin just looks really bad it's very you are showing yeah i'm not no i'm not saying that i just think that everyone looks worse than they could look like camera. You think she looked like what? Why?

Why are you singling out a woman? I'm just saying. So you thought the woman looked bad? Is that what you think? You think women shouldn't play poker? Is that what you think? I think women shouldn't play poker on TikTok. Hold on. Because they can't read numbers. And they look like baseball. You gotta get all the context of what i'm gonna say liberals

dude who made the joke of the table live free or die when alex was up half a mil some of the table was like that fixed the wage gap oh my god who said that probably ninja yeah he throws those out i thought it was a cool i thought it was a little bit of a fun fact When she was like yeah I'm top 100 Female earners in poker And I was like damn that is crazy That you got there on one fucking night That is fucked up Holy shit It was a lot of money

Mr Keating by the way Mr Keating He is every poker player's spirit animal Like Train is our gambling spirit animal But he's our poker playing spirit animal Dude I put him in a spot and he's just like i hate folding and i'm like fucking me too bro you want to hear something fucked up train's doing a one million dollar heads up poker match against mr beast and they're not gonna stream it they're not gonna stream it they're just gonna play that's so fucked up no i mean it's tight that's actually way cooler than it's just tight

as fuck but why them of people i get why them doing it but aren't they so content brain that they just like can't resist trains not yeah but mr beast also mr beast i would argue i didn't get to like talk to him one-on-one a lot but he's he's he's a cool guy but i would argue he's more of a degenerate than he is a content guy no dude we walk in and his content brain's already ticking. He's like, why is the lighting like this? Like, what's up with the audio? Oh, that's right.

He's like, Ludwig, sit in seat five. You should sit in the middle. Aren't these people too loud? Should we move them? And he's like, going, going, going. And I was like,

here's the thing, man. I'm not in control of the broadcast. I'm just here to play poker. But you give him two cards and he turns into an animal. Yeah. The broadcast could be a lot nicer. It wasn't bad.

I just think it could be a lot nicer. 100%. I think the sound was fucked up, but I think it's really hard to produce poker and it was really clean otherwise so um but yeah it hit the threshold of what you need to do for a good poker stream yeah there was no no big gaping holes the average person shouldn't give a shit personally oh i dude speaking of gaping holes uh you're i was gonna say something i'm i texted you no i texted your dad i did oh that so wait you texted him yeah because he remember when my dad died and he said nice things yeah i do recall talk about that now sure so why are you so surprised well no i'm just i have his number

yeah i know my father died yeah he reached out and was really nice. What did you do? Did you text me? Yes. Anyway. You ran that? You thought that was in your favor? He weaponizes his dead father constantly. Bows in the house.

And the problem is he can also be on multiple sides now. So he was on the couch with Cutie and he's like, dead mom couch. But then he can be on the chair with me and be like, dead multiple sides now. So like he was on the couch with cutie. He's like dead mom couch. But then he can be on the job with me and be like dead dad couch. You're, you're, you're like a, you're like a bisexual.

Yeah. I'm the bisexual. Yeah. So I messaged your dad because I flew to, uh, I flew to Colorado to see Nick Coletti's standup show with, uh, with Mike.

And that was, uh, that was fun. And I get, I get a little nervous on planes sometimes i have good flights and sometimes i'm a little nervous it's not like crazy uh but i was like dude i should text aiden's dad for once not a picture of my butthole and i should i should like ask him plane questions and so i was like yo every time i get on a plane i get scared that on

takeoff the engine will cut and we won't have enough speed to take off and we'll crash right outside the runway right and i said is this completely unreasonable and then he just he just like gave me like six paragraphs of like plane knowledge i mean dude people who know a lot about planes they're just waiting for this right and love they're like knuckles cracked like dream scenario this is crazy and i was like this is gonna help me out so much when i'm on planes again and i was really i was really happy about that i mean what so much when i'm on planes again and i was really i was really happy about that i mean what did he say i don't you want me to read it out it's probably 15 minutes for this pick your favorite thing he said is there like a general reason that you want be confident the engine won't shut off uh i guess the the most uh assuring thing is he says uh if

the engine fails at, uh, or before these are both capitalized words, that speed, we, we make the decision to stop automatically. And then M dash, he types so funny. Uh,

it would be highly unusual for us not to make that decision to stop at that stage. If we stood at or before that airspeed, we have calculated already enough that we have enough runway to stop. So he's just like, I'm like, okay, like I don't even

need to read it all he's just he could have just told me not you good yeah lmao yeah that'd be tight he's like does the plane turn dude by the way we land in colorado and it's uh it was really. I've never had this happen. We come down. We're almost touching the ground. Pilot says nope and pulls back up. Whoa. Yeah, it was fucking scary. He says psych we're going to Florida. It was really scary. I had this thought for a second. I was like, okay

the pilot and the co-pilot are extremists and they are going they've psyched us out and we're going to fly into a building right now. Yeah. I thought it was going to happen. They bait you with the landing. Yeah, they're like we have to fake out the air out, and then we were going to fly into a building right now. Yeah. I thought it was going to happen. But they wanted to bait you with the landing. Yeah, they're like, we have to fake out the air traffic controller, and then we're going to fly. Excuse me.

Excuse me. Is Mark Wahlberg on this flight? Yeah. It was scary. And that's what actually made me want to text Aiden's dad. I was like, all right. I decide that I'm okay with dying every time I enter a plane now. I am too, but it's still nerve wracking.

Why are you shaking your head? Because it's just, you're the least likely to die on a plane. Wait, why me? Is it a fat joke? Wait, the least likely of what? Vehicles? No, people, you are the least likely to die on a plane. Human beings, as a method of travel.

What about in this attic? Are we more likely to die? No, of methods of travel. I also accept death when I get in a car with you. You drive your Vespa every day. I accept death then, too. I've been really scared lately because it's been windy and sometimes it blows me to the side.

Fair enough. You gotta hurt yourself, bro. I don't want to hurt yourself. I want to go like James Dean did. Why? On a Vespa? On a Vespa. You died on a Vespa? He died on a real ass motorcycle like a Chad. Vespas are as real and ass and cool. Yeah, because they go so fast. I took my first Vespa

ride with Ludwig finally. Yeah. first on the back ride uh no job court job if he did i couldn't feel i don't think it counts if he can't you know if he can't feel it right that's right uh but we had to go we were just going to pick up food and we had to go to the bank and it's me and him you're on your flight to go to the show. And you're busy. I don't know if there was a reason for you to come at the beginning, but I think we might have needed your help. There was a reason we couldn't get a hold of you, and you might have been able to help.

But we show up at the bank, and you don't have your debit card or your ID. That's why we're there, is for Ludwig to do a very basic change with his checks or something. No, I had to withdraw $200,000 to play poker. Yeah, this was for the poker. But it's an adjustment to a check. It's a more complicated thing.

But the amount doesn't really affect anything. It does a little bit. The money changed, Aiden. Yeah, the money changed, Aiden. He was like, it's whatever. It's only $200,000. To be clear, he's the one showing up to the bank without his debit card or his ID. I have my ID.

I also needed my debit card. I didn't know that. You didn't have your... You are dumb. But they sent us away. They're like, you need to come back later. And then I ask for a thing that I need to do while I'm there. And it requires... There's this whole issue of me

not being able to get into our company bank account because I need... I need the passcode, the security passcode, and I need Ludwig or you present there to make this change at the bank. That's levels of security, baby. But we can't do it,

because he doesn't have his fucking bank. He has his ID. No, there's also, I made Nick Yingling when he started. He swallowed, he covered a cassette tape in wax and swallowed it. And you have to play that cassette tape. So you have to cut open Nick Yingling

and then play this tape. And then you have to do the dance from the pacifier, but backwards. And all the passwords are in there. And your butthole knows what a cassette tape looks like and it knows to avoid it. Right. It stays in your intestines.

It stays in the cassette player that's next to your kidneys. It stays lodged. You know what a vestigial organ is? So it just hangs out there like we haven't had nick yingling on board for very long so i didn't want to i don't want to cut him open yet you know i figured i could wait a couple days that's respectful yeah well you're talking about the story like i fucked you over he's the one that fucked you you did fuck me talk about how he fucked up that's what i'm getting around we'll both fill your holes i have

not i have not been able to log i have not been able to log into the bank account unless I'm on Anthony's computer for a while. And this didn't matter. This didn't matter for like a month because I didn't need to send any wires or anything. But we schedule it later in the day. We come back. We're both at the bank again.

And I sit down with the banker lady who's going to like solve this problem for me and ludwig is doing his own thing uh and comes back over and i realize after she starts asking us both questions that me and ludwig are the two worst possible people to have in this scenario because you need nick gilling neither of us have any of the answers to any of the questions she's asking she looked at us like we were idiots yeah she she was like you don't know like the the login to like the company you own like to ludwig and and then she's like well can you like get the get the like security code to get it in and i'm like well you see the guy who has that phone is on a plane right now we have

none of the tools or assets to access any of her own bank accounts. That's good. That's good. I didn't even know the business address. I feel good. Finally, I tell her that like, I have one login that'll work. It's, it's like Anthony's personal login. Cause I remember that one because I've used it so much lately.

And she's like, I can't let you do that on like my computer. But she's like, if you'd like, and she kind of like motions at my laptop. Oh, she's a crook. She's like, if you do it on yours, computer but she's like if you like and she kind of like motions at my laptop she's a crook she's like if you do it on yours like you can just you can do it this is a test and i finally get into i get into the bank account and i look she's like go here go here this is like how you can access and set up other users and like reset the security code for yourself and i pull up

the page this is after a month of not being able to get into this bank account and i realized that i've been using the wrong username the entire time no fucking are you kidding me you said you set my username and you set it to something really crass because all my bank accounts are the same all my bank accounts are like the same like i like id string that like I've set up, right? And I've been trying to use that because what else would I set up this under? Why would I ever set up anything else?

But I forgot that you set up my bank account. Really crap. RG bleep it. I have to know. Dude, it's but spelled out with numbers and it's I remember telling you this Dude, it's but spelled out with numbers. And it's...

No, I remember telling you this to your fucking face. I know, but I hadn't used the bank account in a month and a half. And I said, you can change it. But you didn't want to. And I was like, this will be fine because I started using it. But when you log into these accounts, it doesn't tell you if you fuck up the username or the password it just says your login has failed so in my head i've forgotten the password and i finally realized in front of this woman after talking to her for like 40 minutes

asking us security questions logins about the company that he's a signee on he doesn't know anything about also we called you we called you as you were taxing to take off to try to get one piece of information well played all around and i and i look at her like i look up from my laptop and i was like we it's it's okay i figured it out and she's like what do you mean i'm like i you know what i did i just don't think it's gonna be a problem anymore and she's like okay like no I just cannot explain to this woman. Wait, did you remember the username? Yes.

No, no, no. It showed up on the bank in your account. That is so fucking funny. So we spent an hour at the bank answering her questions because you gave me like a crass fucking username. He also diced himself. Oh, what's new? He was there and he was like, oh, I forgot my ID.

And then I walked over and it was on the floor. And he was like oh i forgot my id and then i walked over and it was on the floor and he thought he left it at home yeah because it was the entire this is at the end of the meeting it's like i i had to do something else while i was there too and i'm like fuck dude after all of this like we came we went back and we're here again and i don't have my wallet now like i'm the ludwig and then at the end of the meeting, she points at it. And it's on the fucking floor. It's like, is that your guys' and it's my wallet that we needed the whole time. Dude, I love this woman looking at our bank account and seeing very high numbers.

And then seeing you two fucking chuckle fucks. You're saying we can spend the stuff. and chuckle fucks you're you're saying we can spend the stuff and you guys are getting a check amended for hustler casino yeah for 200 large yeah that's what they are they're chuckle fucks you tell me this ain't doll hairs i thought they said doll hairs isn't that crazy she must have been like what the fuck is going on dude when when i told her when i told her like why we couldn't get the 2fa code i was just like yeah we have this like burner phone at home and she's like you guys have a burner phone like no i'm like no it's not like that like we don't do anything illegal like it's just like a dude we just call it the burner phone but it is a burner it's a burner

but we don't use it for conventional burninger uses Much less nefarious Oh my god You can't get Poke anymore What happened? Cause okay This is a self Incriminating story But I will continue

It nevertheless So you're wearing A diaper I was wearing a diaper And I was riding My vest But I wanted food And I went to

Subway And I went to Subway Oh again? I was walking Well the first time You and your time you and your fucking you and your fucking girlfriend are eating subway like necromancer you know it's

you know it's fucked subway i called cutie in subway and i was like do you want it and she said no and i tried to call her as an out so that it wasn't me who wanted subway it was her but she's like no i'm not hungry i don't want it we drove to that poker game that the one before and ludwig and cutie just eating subway in the car like fucking like fucking rabid little animal it was good italian bmt it was good and it made me want to go back so there's several articles about lettuce plastic in the meat several articles i went back and i tried to blame it on Cutie, but she didn't want any. So I just got it by myself for myself. It's not even cheap.

It's $12.50. Give me a good reason why you shouldn't eat plastic. Amen. Oh, no. You can't think of one, bro. Oh, no. Checkmate. I've been owned.

So I'm there and I'm ordering my Subway. My order is a steak and cheese on a wrap. Hey, real quick shout outs to the old old heads who went on that website back in the day and got real fucked up about it go on lemonparty.org no check it out and uh and i and i do my order and the guy looks up at me he's like dude you're ludwig and i was like yeah i am and he was like dude i saw you before i used to work at a poke place but i was too nervous to say hi and i was like oh that's interesting i was like, dude, I saw you before. I used to work at a poke place, but I was too nervous to say hi. And I was like, oh, that's interesting.

I was like, do you work at both places? And he's like, yeah, I did. I was like, what do you mean? He's like, they let me go. They cut me out. He's not talking like this. Yeah, he is. No, you're talking like he's fucking, like he's auditioning for The Godfather.

He's like 16. Do you know his name? He has long hair and he looks like a high schooler. And he got fired from that place and he said bad working conditions. Whoa. Yeah. Wow. But you don't know that.

He could have put his balls in the sand. What's wrong with that? I'm going to still go though. I don't know what the whole. Yeah, that poke place is like really good. Now I'm against it. You stand with them? Wow.

It's hard to find a good poke place. That's fair. In Southern California. That's a good one. And if they're working 14-hour shifts and they're 14, I don't... Is the fish good? Yeah. I mean, look, the child hands pick up the salmon better. Yeah, they're more delicate. The small, delicate hands so that the

fish is less traumatized yeah the small though yeah the the flesh is just better kept yeah i don't want my salmon to bruise i like when the little kids hold it why'd you go there why do you always go there subway see fresh no wait okay so that was that was this kid really that dramatic yeah no this is love this is loving not sure yeah yeah yeah he's not dramatic i when i was in the airport this fucking kid like he looked like 10 i'm walking by i'm with mike we just got to denver i'm sure we're trying to get to the hotel it's like oh my god is that slime and i'm like that's so cute i turn around and he's like he's not 10 i should say he's more like he's like an annoying older age right it's not cute it's not cute okay

how old is he like 13 you're not 13 you're not annoying i don't think you're annoying until you're 15 really i think 13 year olds are fucking annoying 14 year olds are freshmen are freshmen not annoying it's just kids 8th grade is the cut off it also depends on how much you've grown though I feel like it's 16 when you're under 16 you're just excited if you can dunk you're annoying by default

if you can touch the net and you're in high school you're annoying if you try to touch the net you're annoying if you try to touch the net you're definitely annoying play basketball you're annoying if you try to touch the net you're annoying if you try to touch the net you're definitely annoying that's how you have to give it uh play basketball you're annoying this is all this is all what aristotle said yeah these are all also including 10 year olds lebron james dunked at 12 you know that's true annoying so anyway this kid he just looks like 13 and uh he's like really really excited and i'm like oh god and so i turn around and i'm like make it quick make it quick and i'm smiling like i'm making it like a fun bit but i am saying like hey let's let's do this and he's like oh cool and he comes up to

me he's like it's like his sister he's like you take a picture can you take a picture and um and you know i'm just like doing this and uh and then you go if only you were dead kid if only you're dead you bleed. If only you were dead. You bleed over the tissues. Kid, you got any illnesses? No. He been acting weird recently? He's a make a wish?

He was just like really, really, really pumped. And I take the picture. He's like, all right. Yeah. Tell Ludwig he sucked or something like that. And then I was like, how old are you? And he's like, I'm like i'm stupid and i'm like bro you are not 16 and he's like yes i am and i'm like whole squad laughing and then i'm like and then i'm like in my head real quick i

need calculations like maybe he is 16 and he's like a late bloomer and like i'm kind of a dick right now so i'm just like that's crazy and then i give him a fist bump dude you know what's crazy you are double his age yeah holy shit 32 crazy yeah i'm like i'm i'm playstation and he's super nintendo i had someone ask me uh like on on on uh the 30th i had someone ask me like really early the morning, how old is Slime? I said 32. Because the reason I got there was like, his birthday was a long time ago. It's got to. A whole year.

He must have turned 32 and I forgot. And then it was the birthday day. Oh, so you thought I was turning 33. No, no, no. Oh. I just thought that your birthday, I forgot the day of your birthday. And I thought i had already passed but i made the deduction based on how far away 31 felt i remember 31 distinctly

it's like when you're like i bet 50 minutes has passed and then you look at your phone you're like it's like it's just bink it you're just like yeah that's how i felt i was like damn i just binked that shit kind of i just know time that's better than like than not forgetting and just knowing it just having it inside of you. I have your internal clock. Yeah. Dude, I woke up on your birthday and I tweeted at Slicker, happy birthday, because he tweeted about his birthday and then you DM'd me. You were like mad at me.

I DM'd the group chat, the house chat, because I'm on Twitter on my phone and you say happy birthday to Slicker. I check my DMs. I'm saying that his birthday is the same day. That is crazy. Yeah. Wait, was it a bit? No, it's his actual birthday.

It's actually his birthday and I just woke up for him and i saw it yeah and so in the group chat i'm like i screenshot i'm like ludwig said happy birthday to slicker before fucking dude it's ludwig and tired eyes he like looks blurry it's like oh it's not his birthday happy birthday opens them wide oh shit you think i just got the wrong guy yeah oh fuck slicker no i just wasn't gonna dm you happy birthday both their names are sli i was gonna say slicker isn't michael babaro on twitter though so that helps make it more distinct yeah but i'm consistent now i love also that all this poker shit people like adding me people like tagging me and it's just gasified michael babaro and says journalist yeah you're in the house it's winter and you're sick and everyone's playing hockey outside and you can't, you

can't go play. I can't go play right now. Like I can't even respond to Phil and be like, Hey, like it was kind of weird, but like, I don't care. It's like, I don't know. I feel, I actually feel bad for him. He's just getting shit on. I don't, maybe he's not like, like people got history.

That Doug Polk video that I brought up, he was like talking about how Tom Duan like owes people money and is like shitting on him for it and i'm like oh there's beef like i'm fucking i'm not in this right i think if you wear a hat that says bitcoin on it you deserve to be bullied i'm with i'm with that also a scam huh that double that what i don't care honestly yeah i'm with it all not surprised whatever i just feel like i genuinely it's like people something like this happens it's like an event and you're just you're not a person anymore you're just like what people are looking at and watching and i genuinely am like i think it's fine so like i feel like that should mean something but uh whatever it was a great series one of my favorite

youtube stream i've done it was hype it was riveting content all of our friends all like smash people everyone's just like watching like the super bowl i thought that was really funny i haven't had i haven't had the desire to go to vegas in like a weirdly long time i just liked going a lot yeah and then for like a year straight i just like didn't care anymore i don't want to go people were offering i was like i don't really want to go this has awoken it oh no i want to go back to vegas really bad right now i'm going this weekend are you actually going? It's my friend's bachelor party. Nobody asked.

Oh. I asked? What are you? Yeah, but. Right before you say that. It's Jake. Yeah, Jake's bachelor party. He's getting married and shit.

I know him. Oh. You haven't met him. Jake the racist guy? I will this weekend. Me and him? Jake the racist guy. Is it Jake your racist friend or is it Jake?

No, that's Aiden. Sorry. Jake Aiden. It's like a whole thing. Yeah, the one who really? Or is it Jake? No, that's Aiden. Sorry. Jake Aiden. It's like a whole thing. Yeah, the one who like really hates weirdos and keeps going shoo shoo. No, it's weird because you like hang out with me a lot. You like haven't met him. No, they call him Aiden.

Yeah, I can fix her. Aiden, the wage gap isn't real. McCamed. Yeah. McCamed. McCamed. McCamed. Yeah.

John McCamed. And you love Dude Perfect apparently now. Dude. They just figured it out yeah they they solved they just solved the game because in my head like dude perfect was this thing it's like yeah this that's like so it's like that's so old and lame it's so lame they're adults in a warehouse screaming when they make a basketball there's no way they're just all stupid and lame basketballs and it's still money you know and then it was a me and we click on a video like like let's make fun of these fucking losers and we click on a video and we're we realize like three minutes into the video and we're like damn you beat that one it's called like unpredictable trick shots two or something and then Nick's like no no way man like I

predict this for sure I say I predict every shot pause it pause it pause it pause it and then Nick's like it's gonna do that and then it's gonna do that and then the clip plays out and then we're both like oh our ankles are being snapped in half like it's

I'm like like they shoot a basketball and there's like kind of in the corner in the very little street like a blue bucket i'm like it bounces off the rim and it goes into the blue bucket easy it bounces off the rim it bounces before the blue bucket and then off camera it pans and there's like a guy with his arms out and it misses his arms and the basketball like explodes yeah and then it's like and then it knocks over bowling pins yeah you guys are just you guys just found good content

and then we finish and the first thing because Yingling is also there the first thing they say is they're well it's two that means there's more of these yeah

and they instantly start ripping more of them and I'm like I have to go I have to go I can't do this that's funny they solved it dude

yeah they're content gods dude they are content gods they figured out YouTube they're like like. Dude, they are content gods. They figured out YouTube. They're like top, I think, like 20 probably. No, they're more than that.

If you take out music video channels, they're like top five. I don't. Yeah, everyone. You said if you do, and I don't. Okay, well. I don't take them out. So I'm right. He's right.

Oh, yeah. He needs to believe that to be right. So he has no reason not to. Liberal. And you're racist. Plus bald. I'm racist. He needs to believe that to be right. So he has no reason not to. Yeah. Liberal. And a racist. Plus bald. I'm a racist. You love that, huh?

That decades-old TikTok? Yeah. That guy's funny. Yeah. I think Dude Perfect cracked the formula. I was at the Nick Letty show, and my buddy Ben, I went with Mike, and I met with my friend Ben in Colorado and his friend. And Ben's looking around as we're like sit down in the venue.

He's like, how many people here do you think are subscribed to barstool and i was like yeah and uh and yeah i watched his show there was three openers um they were they were okay no the openers they're like local like denver comics uh one of them had a rhyme sayers hoodie and and he came out and i was like this is gonna suck but he was actually he was actually pretty he was pretty decent he walks up he's like what's up with rap lyrics these days

dude I was like I can't even hear him and then he makes a joke about like Aesop rock and one guy in the corner Rocky rock it's all confusing and so it was like

it was there was the openers and then Nick let he do like an hour and it was okay it had me thinking a lot I had like a Nick come to God moment in the plane where i'm like me yeah we watched birdman and i was like am i like am i funny am i not this and that and i'm like thinking about nick lady it's

like i i think you know his there were a lot of holes in his routine there were some really good parts and then right before the show right before the plane ride home, I saw Stav tweet out a, like, he's like, Hey, this guy, his name is Joe list. And he's like,

he, he put out his, his YouTube special. It's an hour long set. And he's like, it's really funny. And I'm like, well,

that's a vouch. So I downloaded it and listened to it on the plane. And it's just like flawless. It's just like, it's the most tight hour I think i've ever listened to in my life it's beautiful and joe list joe list it's sounds like a ligma name it's really fucking funny i won't fall for this i won't fall you three are setting me up right now dude imagine oh my god man well we'll talk later we'll get him we'll get there yeah yeah we'll get there

um but phil every and i'm listening to you i'm racist so it's so good and i'm listening to it and i'm like i don't i'm not as funny as this guy i'm like i am i funny at all like is the yard even funny are you like fucking are we not allowed to like be funny because like if we piss off the wrong people like it's a problem and i'm just like i had this moment too but it was today oh yeah yeah i was listening I was listening to the always sunny pod and it's I I now have a podcast I listen to I don't listen to fucking any I listen to that one now uh because I like it and there's a part where like someone like a fan made a joke to them and they like acknowledge like like the fan that just said something they didn't like

make a joke they just like said something that was funny and they were like that's a good joke and they were acknowledging that like they're basically like without saying it saying like that came from a funny person uh-huh um and i thought about that a lot and i was like wow like someone just like won off to them and they as writers of a really successful comedy show they were like this is a funny person they like were able to kind of deduce that and i was like am i a funny person yeah i was like am i if i wasn't my exact thought it was like if i had the chance to be in the always sunny's writer room right and i and i i chimed in and i was like what do you do you flop what if what if charlie did this and said that it this way would they

just be like and they move on or would they they laugh and be like that's good and i'm like i don't know i don't know and i felt bad and there'd be like fucking oh it's funny in philadelphia and then they'd be silently and then rob Rob Macklin would shoot you in the head. I'm like, yo, we call him Barley. What about that? What's your name, Clayton? Dude, I gotta head out. Yeah.

Nah. Nah, I'm kidding. Nah, go gray. What if Charlie made boobs on Xbox Live? What if he made that? That's actually good. That's a good one. What if he's in Black Ops 2

and he's making his profile picture, but it's accidentally racist? Dude, dude, I had a buddy uh he was my old dota friend he went to he like lived in texas and he said he took a screenwriting class he like didn't really give a shit about college but he finished it he took a screenwriting class was like an elective and he he had to write a spec script and spec script is a script of a show that already exists that you're making and that you're writing like, see how good you conform and stuff like that. And he said, he wrote an episode of It's Always Sunny

where Charlie paints his dick black to make it bigger. And I'm like, that's pretty funny. That is really fun. It also works really well in the universe. Yeah, that's pretty funny. I always think about it, it was like his throwaway. He didn't give a shit. Like he just played Dota all day and he told me that and i was like maybe you should have maybe you should have pursued screenwriting dude rob mccloney was at disneyland they just told us on

their podcast at disneyland like this week and he said that the overwhelming amount of things that he heard people coming up were saying i love the pod wow is that crazy yeah that's great from the makers of it's always the longest running sitcom in tv history we like that easier thing you do maybe it's just because uh like if you love them enough or like are engaged with them enough to like come up to them yeah it's just the most recent shit kind of you're probably the type of person that listens it might be weird it could be like i love season 15 yeah it's easier to say the reason well this Well, this happened to me. I was explaining this to Zipper3 when we were getting breakfast the other day.

It just sounds so natural now. I saw Bruce Green in LA. Yeah, you said that in the group chat, and I was like, I don't know that Rottweiler. He's the dude who did Inside Gaming with Adam Kovic. Yeah. Yeah. No, I don't. Yeah, we won't oh yeah yeah i don't know any of this lore but i was filled in about it yeah so ignore the other guy bruce green i want to talk about adam for a bit bruce green no we can just we can just talk about

bruce uh bruce like he did like a show or something bruce was on the show that they used to have on like machinima and then i think it was like under rooster teeth for a while anyway like he i just used to watch that show sometimes like i i wasn't super engaged with it i thought they were pretty funny when i watched the odds of you walking up and saying are you bruce green what are the odds no that i would never 50 50 i would literally never because i didn't know his name i had to look it up i just recognized him as the guy from the show yeah he just looks like he could look like many guys yeah yeah and he's a very normal normal looking guy uh and i told her that when i got inside i was like i knew i recognized him

it's like he's from a show that i used to watch sometimes and i like look i look and i pull up and like find his name and uh yeah that's definitely him like the faces just match up the hair matches up his beard looks a little longer that's about it but i think there's that scenario where it's like you recognize somebody and you might even like appreciate their work to an extent but you can't have any semblance of a conversation with them because you don't even know like their name or like cared enough to watch the show that much so it's like what can you really do like walk up to them and say like i know you from that thing which So it's like, what can you really do? Like walk up to them and say like, I know you from that thing, which is feels like maybe the worst thing you could do.

It's just selfish, right? You're not doing this to connect with them. You're just like, Oh, I saw, I saw a special thing in the, in the wild.

Yeah. All the time. Yeah. No, that's why I think it's like a shitty thing to do. I, I did, I did this once at the San Diego airport with this guy who used to make funny

videos that like got really big on Facebook specifically. He's a YouTube channel too. And I walked up to him like without thinking because I was just so excited. Aiden's on the other side of that Milo pic with H1. The three of them. No, I forget his name, but he has like long red hair. I think he used to make a lot of videos about like comedic videos about being vegan. Like not making fun of vegans.

I know who you're talking about. I know who you're talking about. Just veganism in general. But I saw him. Like he was in person at the airport. And I without thinking like went up to him to say hi. But I realized as soon as I got in the conversation like I actually know nothing about you including your name and this is a weird conversation wow that is really bad that's how I like that's how

I like corrected that interaction it's like I will never be like that again yeah I tried to do that once to who I saw Jason Nash at an airport like six months ago who was a part of the David Jason Nash part of the David Dobrik squad yeah the computer who is david dobren you know that you got there bald man enhance so i see jason nash and he's at the airport and but he's with his kids and because i saw him first because he's kind of tall and because he's got kids and but i was like i was like i kind of want to say hi but i don't want to come up so i was like okay maybe i'll wait for like a natural moment so i can't be ludwig at this point yes this is like six months ago oh yeah so i keep like posting up like just chilling like in a path that he might walk by but he keeps taking different

paths so i keep readjusting in hopes that'll walk by me eating your granola bar really slow so your mask stays down yeah but you don't you're saying you don't remember his name no no i do i know i know i know him and i'm like that's jason nash and i and i've seen him and i'm like That's Jason Nash And I've seen him And I'm like I think I want to say hi But then I realized I did this like Maybe four fucking times Where I'm trying to reposition

But he keeps going back For different bags And he's got his kids around And I'm like Now I'm stalking kids And so I got nervous And I walked away You know what you should have done

Flicked a rock At one of their heads Yeah Then maybe they died Maybe I get a show That'll get his attention Imagine the kid just like boom

and then you fucking go over there and you're like, oh dude, someone hit your kid with a rock. That's such a bad intro. Oh, your kid's dead now.

Oh no. I'm not talking about like a fucking boulder, you guys. I'm talking about like you pick up a little rock, you fucking flick it at him. That's not more normal.

You're not trying to kill the kid. You're throwing a rock at a child. Yeah, dude. For attention from another guy. That's actually a good point it is it i think the best thing by the way anyone listening the best thing you can ever do in those situations is keep it short and sweet get your picture be like hey i like what you do you don't even need to say their name that's the

thing you can just go hey man i like your videos maybe fist bump maybe not content and you just get the fuck out of there. That's great. It's like, oh, that's nice. You get to meet somebody, exchange with them, and they fucking live their life. And it's a picture, whatever. It's okay. Don't be weird, man.

I ran into me. Oh, come on. Nibble their toes. Have some fun. Get crazy. Have some nibbles for the bears. I still think about the two girls in that line at that party that said I was like that I i reminded them of jason nash

and i still don't know what they what they meant because he is he physically looks much different than me so no so you're both balding dude this is so perfect zipper i sent you one more asset hasan sent me this uh i think last night or is this morning it was it was a dm waiting for zipper. Always hitting the pen. He's just like, yeah, yeah,

yeah, yeah. He's talking about Phil, how he said deserved. He stole from a fellow bald, bald on bald violence. I was like, bro,

he has hair. So I was just, Oh shit. I said, what are you smoking on brother? So it sounds that he presents as bald. My, he does. and i'm like

that that's the thing you can have i've said this before you can have full head of hair but be bald spiritually and maybe that's what the jason nash thing is like jason mr slash clean no i'm not talking about being bald i'm talking about maybe you don't look like this person but you exude their energy is this person a pussy i thought yeah I had this thought too about Tom Dwan. I said, in my head, I was watching and I said, are you bald or not? Tom Dwan? I looked at his hair and it's all there. Yeah.

But there was energy in my head that was like, you look like you're balding, but you're not balding. Tom Dwan looks like he could be bald. He looks like he fixed being bald. You know who fixed being bald? Daniel Legrano. Shouts out, by the way. I think he's great. Tom Estrada, go fuck yourself.

You guys... Fuck you, Tom. That's a great clip. I wish Daniel was there. That would have been good bands. I'd be like, I'm Tom Estrada. I've been preparing, by the way. I've been watching videos about hair transplants.

No way. That's funny. I'm getting mentally prepared for the day it has to come. That's hype. Okay. What's that shit you take? Is it finasteride? Finasteride.

Finasteride. Propetian. A finasteride. That's what I did. All right. No, that's great. You're so good at this. We we're gonna do the premium episode now well we're at 90 you're not even trying

you're not even trying to clickbait our stupid audience do we need to clickbait you know what I would like to do I would like them to subscribe and hit the bell because that number is still really low. It is cringe and slow. What are you doing with this?

I'm just holding my tummy. Shut up. Send a comment about your favorite like on this video. And if you like the video, make sure to favorite the subscribe button. And then see us in Patreon for the bonus material. Love you. Always. You can Venmo us for it.

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