The Yard - Ep. 49 - CAT.

Episode Date: June 15, 2022

This week, the boys talk about their trip to Canada, the Proud Boys, and the times they terrorized other children in middle school, for fun!

are we swag swagging zipper are we swagging on you we are nod yes or. Don't do the robot thing. Oh, shit. Aw, he's doing the robot. He's flossing. Oh, whoa. What? Jesus Christ. That's why he stays behind the camera. Doing the robot in the piss corner. Yeah.

It's the piss gas made him all weird for that second. Started freaking out like a spider. You could poison it. Yeah, so. Hey, this country's fucked up. You know why? Why? All right, so we got proud boys, right?

Yeah. And everyone's all mad when boys do it, but proud family, whole family of girls do it. They're not all girls. We give them a TV show. Yeah. You know what? When you're right, you're right. Fucked up.

They got blue people. When you put it that way, that show was interesting. when you put it that way that show was interesting i watched i watched i think every episode and i was like you know what this is just the canker sisters which came first which came first the i guess ed and eddie i think so yeah you ever have that kid in school that was like you know they're all dead right oh the ed and anything yeah yeah there was that one Yeah, there was that one. It's like, dude, shut up. Ash is in the coma theory. I'm trying to dip my Doritos into the nacho cheese that they give you for the nacho chips. Yeah, I'm trying to drink chocolate milk for lunch because that's normal at our schools.

Yeah, you're telling me all the cartoons are dead. Hey, welcome back to the yard. I don't think the Proud Boys are good. My name's Ludwig. Look at your face. What do you mean? What's wrong with this face i can't see it it's 10 in the morning right now can i see him you look like the the rutherford picture

that nick chose when we did the rutherford and rutherford dust two car salesman bit for cs summit and you look fucking like shit you look like you walked into urban outfitters and picked the ugliest pants ugly okay well hold on hold on all three of you look like you found into Urban Outfitters and picked the ugliest pants. Ugly? Okay, well, hold on. Hold on. All three of you look like you found outfits on the floor of the living room currently. This is from Urban Outfitters. I think you look great. I think I look normal. I said it to Fish. Give it back to me.

We're both wearing Slap merch. Yeah, what the fuck is this? Well, look, we just love Jay Slut. We're just big fans. And welcome to the podcast. It's just influencer time. I found out that... Does he do that?

No, I thought he was going to walk by. Oh, yeah. Speaking of... It's actually, I didn't pick up on that at all. He's not here. He's not coming. He's never coming. I found out the Proud Boys started because of a podcast.

That's the origin of the group. QAnon? No, they listen to Chuggle Sandwich. They were like, these puns are too fucking much. We got to do something about it. We can be way more racist than these guys. Did you see that U-Haul full of people that they arrested? Yeah. Yeah. One of those guys was Slimesicle yeah that's why he's not on it anymore there is a non-zero amount of people

who went through the alt-right pipeline through jay schlatt it's got to be like three i mean he does have a glock huh he does have a glock well yeah it's not zero he's certainly a republican man online well you can't you can't say that about like it's not zero for anyone right there's got to be someone who watched your video about smashers being broke that like now is thinking you know we need to go back to the capital he's like 10 recommended videos from like a bill maher rant oh so it's like an armada number but you don't want your number to be lower and the the lower it is, the closer they are to the pipeline. Yeah.

Because everyone goes to the pipeline. Yeah. Everyone eventually ends up over there. But if it's like 20 suggested videos, you're great. Yeah. 20. It's hard to get there. It's like you get stopped by Adam Ragusea and you're like, oh, fuck, I'm not leaving

this. It is weird how if you click on the wrong combination of like Minecraft and Call of Duty videos, you're getting recommended change my mind by steven crown yeah it's very quick i i do i do wonder it's like uh jack manifold and then it's just prager you coming up jack's doing a minecraft let's play and here's why uh the israelis were right the whole time i'm having the best warzone class layout very quickly getting jordan peterson you get there quick i think also i uh i had this new bit where i was in hrx chat rare footage but i was just watching the stream and uh i go in there and he's like what's it

what should i react to wait guys got anything funny well you, he's flailing around like a fucking, like an animated character, honestly. You're trying to be as creative as like 45 viewers. He's like, ah, ah. Yeah, he's like a gibbon who's seen a banana for the first fucking time in a year. You worked on that. No, I just watch monkey videos all the time. He's in his new house fucking practicing gibbon noises. He should have flashbacked to him in like,

I'm going to do it today. I'm going to do it today. Today's the day of the pod. I do it. You guys, I've been working on that. I've been loving it. Gibbons are funny. They're fucking funny.

And so he's like asking for shit to react to. And I go to one of my old favorites, which is the Syrian Revolution combat footage. And I just link him a channel. And I go, Syrian combat footage, pog. Syrian combat footage, pog. And then he's like, he always does the same thing.

I'm watching, all right. Not watching Syrian combat footage. Yeah. That's exactly what he would say. God, he's such a fucking. You see it to me. He is a traced outline of himself as a gingerbread man. You're getting lost at H-Rock for a moment.

You used to do that, by the way. This is not a new bit. To you. Yeah. I would link Bonehead, Naked City, the song from Funny Games, and then also military combat footage. That's why I like Hassan, dude, because he'd click that video and he would react. Yeah.

He would react to this. He would react to this series. He would explain it. And he'd explain. Yeah, he was on it. How it's a proxy war. We were on Austin's game show, which is like The Price is Right. Yeah. And one of the things that came up was the Domino's mascot, the nerd.

No, not the nerd. Daypuff, Marshmallow Man. No. Shit. Zipper knows this. You should. The Domino's mascot? Marshmallow, the producer. Old Domino's mascot this. You should. The Domino's mascot? Marshmallow, the producer.

Old Domino's mascot. And it's called like Zipper Pulse Pond Scream. Tony Tiger. Are you thinking Mac Tonight? Because that was McDonald's. The Noid. Oh, the Noid. Avoid the Noid.

He really hates this. Yeah. And then Hassan. What the fuck? I don't know about this. Old Domino's mascot. That's real? Yeah.

That guy discontinued because someone was like having a psychotic episode and thought the noid is following them around and then held two people hostage at a domino's well he that sounds like the noise just doing his job no no he's ruining the pizzas he's fucking them up no i'm saying that if someone if someone has this guy so stuck in their head they want to kill people i feel like but at least they went to domino's to do it with the domino's i feel like you keep that shit around they didn't they didn't go to an hsbc branch and do this least they went to dominoes to do it with the dominoes yeah keep that shit around they didn't they didn't go to an HSBC branch and do this yeah they went to the source and I think that's important so the marketing won out is what it did and no one died but a son of the podcast kept being like six people died because of the noid incident in 1980

and he's like trying to ramble it off the top I like that he's like kind of accurate but also kind of not that's also the slime it's just kind of being right about something i was listening to a new hasan video i do this thing where i listen to hasan videos like podcasts and i'm listening to him like listen to and explain the history of boris johnson before becoming prime minister and it's just listing off all this heinous shit boris has done in his younger days like throughout his career as a politician before he was elected and uh he's he's explaining like the narrator is just blandly explaining everything he's done but every other thing is a new employee of his that he knocked up while he was married to another woman and he's also going through marriages as it happens you

gotta hit 10th prestige without challenges on lock bro it's like the end of the video he's like boris has now fathered six children while married with a different woman whoa dude it's the 40 child challenge the elon musk yeah except he he he had the same wife and then he made her dye her hair and then left her yeah and then replied to her dye her hair and then left her. Yeah. And then replied to her on Twitter being like, well, what? Yeah. Well, what did you want from me? That was a crazy article

written by his ex-wife. And then she went to Hassan's house. She hung out with Hassan. True. Well, actually. Okay. So for straight white males, the pipeline is to end up

in the alt-right proud boys U-Haul. Uh-huh. For women, it's to just end up at hassan's house you go back to the girls you don't tell them you were there the feminine left-wing pipeline to hassan's house yeah it's just hassan's house do you think we could roll up with 40 of our boys to the u-haul and be like can we get one of these if we show up in fucking masks yeah we would like one u-haul no we're just no he's moving next

no he's not my roommate i love the idea of uh let's say there's like, let's say there's like an influencer who like, you know, decides to watch the yard and then kind of like criticize it for like making jokes about like, you know, whatever,

I don't know, penises or something, young penises. The idea that like someone would look at, someone would like make a video about that and then like think that we were going to talk about it on the next episode, but then they just have to watch me get waxed for two and a half hours this is like so hypothetical it's like not anything that could happen but like it's just so funny like if that could ever happen it's so funny if that ever happened dude what we should

do is we do another wax episode but in the the chapters, you like put it at the two hour, 49 minute mark, and then they stick all the way through. And then it's like, nope, not there. That was the butthole. I was hanging out, hanging out with zipper three last night.

And she, she got waxed and she was talking. She told the woman who waxes her about what we did. And she showed her the clip of you like writhing on twitter and and the woman apparently was like yeah so it's different it's weird for guys because like it'll hurt more because their hair is a little thicker and what you want to do actually is uh it's easier to wax the shaft if it's if it's hard. You guys should have stepped up to the plate. One of you should have answered the call of duty.

That's on Lana. No, that's not Lana's job. That's not Lana's job. If the masseuse is saying, or the waxer is saying that it's better if they're hard. No context, no explanation. Lana starts beating him off to make the waxing easier. She's just like just like

i'm leaving come on dude that's fucked up that's rude i also believe there's probably secret techniques waxers have that get them rock hard instantly it's not the old-fashioned yeah they just go they just go like the opposite the opposite Of the cold spoon trick It's like road trip It's the five finger heart technique The five finger boner explosion And then you're just like It doesn't make you cum

But it just loads you up with fucking blood in your peep It's the natural Viagra Use this technique for waxing purposes only Only that Because otherwise God will know and he'll punish you with priapism he's got like a case of viagra in the back like just in case here take one of these you'll be fine it's like what is it like she's like virus your penis gets hard since these are waxed i'm like okay apparently this woman was serious like she she was like yeah

the the if it's flaccid it just stretches the skin like a lot and it makes it much harder remember what i said you guys be so impressed if you saw my fucking boner up bro not too late not too late this pod you know there's all right let's everyone line up we're gonna beat them off any yardigans i i found out they in uh in japan there's a company who's making ai to make censored porn not censored oh that makes sense and it works like pretty well it's like the 4chan bubble uh yeah wait who's developing you run the program so you can see anthony's armpit pussy discord i don't know i'm saying do you say in japan yeah it's like they're using deep learning tech it's why would they censor the shit yeah yeah a nation is made of many

individuals nick bro just go to the editing program it's not the same it's not the same person no we're doing it in post do you think there's one guy in the whole country of japan who runs it all it's just dumb ass hey dr mario also the guy weirdly the guy censoring all the porn he the first place he's a busy guy he has a monopoly fuck you guys yeah they took l canceling out of porn and then it's the same guy who put tripping back in and nick's like i don't get it it's just one person all the time something i also don't get about that censorship law is can't japanese people just look at non-japanese porn why i don't look at other videos i actually don't know that maybe you can't maybe they don't have you might need a vpn yeah i don't know just say no like you know they could go to p-hub there

it might it might i don't know jp japan's a free country literally not you can't even enter it we're gonna censor all of our porn because we like it it's chill now we're gonna invest money in a robot that fixes it it's a private god damn it anyway yeah no he's right the government is the one making the ai it's all one guy we should we should find that technology and use it for an uncensored version of the waxing episode we don't need it what do we we have no no no But it'd be funnier if the AI built back your body and it getting waxed. The way that it does those memes now where all the faces are kind of fucked up and weird and horror-like, but it's just my weird cock. Yeah.

And it looks better. Yeah, it would look better. It'd be easy to make it look better. My shit wasn't fucking on a poster where you guys were looking at it. But if I was Rock Hard, you guys would be like, damn, look at what he's got i think i'd be i think i'd have to get on board yeah you have to climb on i'd have to see what's up yeah slide a mile six inches at a time sometimes i close my eyes and i think about when i stepped up and then i saw your asshole and your ball sack and the wax drift in it i think i just i'll think about it yeah i dude

his face on one of those clips yeah you you're like look at ludwig's face and let me just staring so many replies so many replies where this is the first time i've ever seen ludwig break yeah yeah he was he was he looked like he was gonna puke did you break no yeah you broke my life no that was all part of the act. Part of the ruse. I rewatched and there was a part where I said, you look like Tub Girl. And I thought that was funny.

I think Mitch was like, that line killed me. All the colors, dude. You said my head looked like the All Saints logo. That was fire. For reference, at the time I was getting waxed, I'm usually hypercritical and analyzing at every moment if the podcast is going well, but I was obviously taken up mentally

by the thing that was happening to my body. So at the time I was getting waxed, I was like, this pod sucks. I'm getting fucking waxed. I'm getting fucking hair pulled out of my fucking skin. Fucking this sucks. And then I listened to it back and I'm like, this is pretty funny.

This is a pretty funny episode one of 10 episode there you go yeah i better fucking ben if it was a two out of 10 i would have fucking found a desert eagle and used it not on what you have to be clear on my dick and balls my smooth that's actually heroic for fucking disappointing would that even hurt i feel like it would just do so much damage it wouldn't hurt i feel like it would i feel like it would you i feel like no oh my god nick is it's so easy to make that sound dumb you guys it wouldn't hurt at all to blow your genitals off with a fucking 50 cal handgun no it wouldn't type of conversation that led to that one dude dying because they thought the book would ask the streamers ask when they want to make conversation reacting good and then kersak is i got and then kersak is that literally next clip goes an oatmeal is good for

you oh shit dude i ever gone through something like so painful it doesn't even fucking hurt what happened yeah no we're not with you i'm coming back to you to answer your question seriously no that has never happened to me i do think it would hurt i know there's a controversial statement to you i've okay i've had injuries that are so bad you just don't feel anything so way later what heart break i've listened to a juice world song have you guys never done that yo no no yo he's right new Joji album got me feeling like that I think the 50 caliber bullets are so strong that even if you

don't shoot yourself it will hurt you wait hold on wait like if you miss yeah it'll hurt like your hand well I know with sniper bullets like the really powerful sniper bullets if you shoot next to someone it'll kill them next to them yeah because it goes so fast that it like it like creates like next to someone, it'll kill them. Next to them? Yeah, because it goes so fast that it like,

it like creates like a little vortex and it rips them. So I've actually looked this up. There's people that like use blanks on set, like the thing that happened with fucking Alec Baldwin, except there were no bullets

in the gun. But there are people who like, as a joke on a set with blanks in a pistol, will like shoot at themselves and they'll die because the blunt force trauma from it coming out even though there's no projectile

actually can still fucking kill you. So I believe Ludwig because I've read about this and it's pretty sad. I'm calling Mythbusters. Don't use guns. And this is the Republican pipeline because now they're going to look up guns. Is this real? Go back to fucking

kids. You can kill people without actually shooting them. You can shoot next to them. It's a lower sentence, but they still die. Dude, speaking of, I got shot in the ass with a BB gun when I was like fucking 14. Hurt so bad. Not a, what's the other one?

Airsoft. No, it was an actual BB gun. Through my jeans. Wow. And I was like, okay, this is real deal this is real deal yeah it shot me in the ass it was my my my neighbor who was my friend his his cousin kyle who was real handsome and a big bully wow and he showed us so many of your stories when you like look back you're always like he was so good looking yeah it's always in there because I'm always trying to track. You were from Colorado.

Dude, no, no, no. Kyle was from, no, no, no. No, Kyle was from Denver. That's still in Colorado. And he was a Grand Junction 9. Thank you. Kyle, no. Kyle would have been a god in Grand Junction, bro.

Forget that. No, dude. A Grand Junction 9, but he can only climb V1s. This actually happened. I'm just, it's all fucking Slumdog Millionaire coming back to me. Kyle, in my backyard, we're all, it's me, Tommy, and Kyle. Tommy was my neighbor. And he tackles me, and he's just bullying me.

He puts me in this wrestling hold. And he's like, because I had my mom get me Family Guy DVDs. Since 1 through 3. And they were like my most prized possession guys like 2004 so this is like 20 a lot of you weren't born yet so go eat my shit and uh 2016 2017 and he's fucking and kyle's got me in my own backyard in like a choker hold and i'm on the ground he's like let me borrow your family guy dvds dude that's the kind of bullion dynamite scene i know he's like let me borrow i'm like okay okay okay and then i did and i had to let him borrow for seven days he gave him back though he didn't give him back

because because because then tommy's mom would have got mad at kyle and she was fucking he was fucking scared of her he's a big binge fest of family guy yeah and he just watched family guy and like it's like the time i choked you for these dvds he but also he would be nice like every once in a while he's very big brother energy that i like never had but then also he would uh he did this thing once that changed my life i think where he would he so it was tommy lived across the street and his whole family was there and he had like a big ass family like seven aunts or something it all came over one day and they're all like eating dinner in the kitchen and there's this big window in the kitchen and at night you know how at night when the light shines and it reflects off the glass inside and you can't see outside yeah so kyle it was me tommy and kyle again in the dark in the yard running around

shooting each other in the ass bb guns kyle's like hey check this out he goes in front of the window where there's seven people eating dinner whips out his cock and then just starts peeing on the ground and i'm sorry flipping out like no you're gonna see it dude and he's like uh-uh look and they're just not noticing him and i'm like whoa he's weird what did that change about you like what have you taken away it made me realize you can do that you can show your cock to people and it's okay well you're not showing it to them because they can't see it so you're doing the i'm not touching your game but with showing your penis yeah but he was also peeing there was utility Right. It's not like he was just like, hey, check it out.

Yeah. God. Yeah, that is true. So in a way, some farts are weird now too. You're always trying to fucking trap me. You have weird farts now. Yeah, I have weird farts.

Like I'm a fucking asshole. Goddamn fucking whack, bro. Are your shits good? Tell me about them. My shits are clean as the day I was born. It's like having a bidet that is on your ass. Do you have a bidet? Yeah, I got another one. Okay.

And so I have- Did you get a nice one? I got another one. Okay. And so I have... Did you get a nice one? I got the one we have. Yeah, I had to. You deserve it. But it'll still be $20.34. Yeah, I can't. Hard to go back.

$300. I know. It's actually more. A lot of the time you get a good deal. I think it was more, actually. $366 probably. Yeah, man. Is it like a market?

Yeah. Like they fluctuate in price like that? Yeah. They're on sale on amazon yeah he he's following bdet on his stock market trader i know because i've talked about bidets on stream and uh and so i was like recommend a bidet and i'm like just buy the cheapest one on amazon and and i was like if you don't really want to ball out and i showed up the toto and and then i got like a fucking message i was like wow recommending a 500 one you're jaded

fucking lit that guy up because i was like i said buy the recommending a 500 one you're jaded fucking lit that guy up because i was like i said buy the cheapest one dumbass you're not gonna recommend a brand they only remember the last five seconds amen nick amen and they all and they all give us five dollars too so go fuck yourself well that's it we shouldn't do that thanks we appreciate it. Patreon.com slash PR. Except our Patreon members. Yeah, we're all... Yeah, you guys are enlightened and different for sure. We're all on your side. Sounds like we're not, but we really are. We really are.

I don't like you, bro. We love you. Slime just does everything he can to just be unlikable. It's like, have you seen the last Patreon episode? By the way, I'm really hungry. Hold on. You bring snackies? You bring snackies, man?

I went and got some... Sorry'm hungry oh what's up no i was just i just wanted to eat that looks delicious yeah you know this is just like without us no no i i just got got kind of hungry so i just wanted to like eat like a thing yeah so someone would call this uh well i don't know what what would you call it at home yeah uh i mean i feel like this is let us go by a lot of names uh one of them may be more more accurate than another but i'm just gonna eat it because i'm just really hungry so i'm just fucking go go off do you imagine not being in the patreon having no fucking idea what this is about there's like a three minute segment about this like this this a sponsor like maybe they're sponsored by a big waffle i don't know what you guys are talking about i'm just hungry so i have a fucking snack so whatever it does what's up aiden look like a

waffle right now oh does it maybe that's because that's what it is man oh man it's actually a crawful i like i said right now like it could change like you could change who knows what it will be yeah i don't even eat carbs, but I was just so hungry that I needed to. Yeah. How is that? How's it feel inside you? Oh, this thing?

It's really good. Next time you go there, I recommend the lavender cookie. It's pretty good. Yeah, no, I wanted a donut, so. Yeah, it is most similar to a donut of those two items. I would say that.

If you guys want to know what we're talking about, basically, Adrian had a fucking... No, join the Patreon, watch the bonus episode. We don't have to explain shit. We don't got to explain shit to you guys. That's true.

We don't. We don't have to do anything. Ask a peer. We could end the podcast right fucking now. Ask a peer. And upload it. And then, well,

that would be crazy. And then you have to watch like 45 minutes left. People think it's a misupload. Oh, no. I got mochi on my pants. Well, you kind of deserve that. Matcha. Oh.

Matcha. It is matcha. You just called matcha. You said mochi. You were the one who said mochi. It's a bit of a circle. Dude, I counted up all my videos since Coots came around. I've uploaded 17 videos.

I'm averaging a million views a video for the first time ever. That's insane. It's crazy. Bro, we've known that since the dawn of the internet your last video was just titled cat yeah yeah yeah it was i you did that one and i was like surely he doesn't get away with this one uh-huh because all of the titles have been about the cat lately. And then I think I watched that one. It's just a Reddit recap, right? Yeah, it is. It's just a Reddit recap.

It's just a Reddit recap. But I clicked that and I never watched Reddit recaps. I haven't uploaded them in months because they don't do well. And they're hard to thumbnail a title. Also, yeah. No, it looks hard. My thumbnail editor DMed me. He was like, so no thumbnails this month dude what you could do

is start uploading videos like from here on out but use like ders for the next week and then see just the drop in views oh my god that'd be sad oh that is so and then that's what we could we could insult ders with it oh that's not empirical evidence, Ders sucks. Hey, look at the views, Ders. You don't get as many views, Ders. It's okay, Ders. You're not good content, Ders. Ders, you're shit content. No one likes you anymore, dude. Ben Shapiro has a lot of views and that doesn't make him good.

You have less views than Ben Shapiro, you little cat. You guys are all losing to a cat, so. Who? You. Three of upload so i don't even try yeah i'm not if i was trying to be different yeah because i would just get a better cat nick thinking back to like every wednesday making a thumbnail i'm not even trying bro i'm not even trying bro don't put the effort in imagine i did though do you do you feel cheated that you that you that cats just win no you feel bad i feel

great about it you're like damn i've found a crack youtube for fucking years now apparently it's just cat town well i'm now i'm like now what now like i can't keep using this cat forever 17 videos pretty long time well so i haven't it's not 17 of the cat but it's more like i think a rising tide raises all boats rising cat raises all cats amen did did you do that reddit recap offline online there's no chat there is not chat on screen but chat exists and i thought why didn't you put it on i stopped doing it i don't know because they don't they offer that much value and it takes a lot of screen you hear that viewers they don't i mean that much value chat moves so and the messages are just there

and then half, like there'll be a comment that's like, dude, someone said gay at 732 and that's like the whole value of the chat. Yeah,

it's just that something to point and be mad at. Yeah. Which is what I've always said about chat. So maybe I've been right this whole fucking time.

No. Are you slime pilled? No, I'm actually switching now because I don't want to get slime pilled. let's go. I don't want to be

every one of you has come around to fucking being me and it feels so good who's the closest to you uh nick actually maybe amen you guys are in a horse race to be the closest to me well i'm just you just you just say like one cynical thing and he goes you're me no oh my god no it's not one cynical thing it's someone coming to me and saying bro i'm fucking you're right i'm slime pilled that's a little different nick and you've said you're right you're right as my friend sometimes we agree when did you say that when did you say i'm slime pilled uh just now oh what's your lightning story my lightning yeah i thought it was cool and you brought it up.

It sounds cool, huh? Yeah. When did this come up? Was it me and you or me and you? I don't know what you're talking about. I think it was during the DCOM episode. I was like, oh, bro, I got a story about lightning strikes. Oh, it was me.

It was me. And I was like, did we tell this on the podcast? We have a sheet that I haven't looked at. We paid someone to write down all the stories we've ever told so we don't repeat. Oh, my God, really? I've told you guys this before. You're like him now. I've never seen this in my life.

Yeah, well, you don't look at this live. Sorry, I'm led peeled. We have the same for advice. Anyway, so it reminded me of this time where in school, I feel like I've told this before, but fuck it, we'll go again. In school, my friend robert who he was the guy who uh busted on the mirror oh yeah yeah legend um well great guy legendary guy yeah and at the time we had this bit in i think eighth grade where we'd put our we put our hand

in our shirt and then pull our elbow out right and you put your hand on your neck and you only got one arm I look like Chuby's depiction of me and and so we did this thing and we would do it all day you guys go spit on people in wheelchairs too actually help me do both

okay it's harder to look at a 30 year old man do this it's just harder gotta move my mic yeah i got you okay so so this is how it works right you? You're good. And so audio listeners, Simon's sitting with his arms tucked inside his shirt so that only his elbows are sticking out of his T-shirt. He looks like both Beavis and Butthead.

And so it looks like he's a T-Rex. We'd go up to each other with this configuration and be like, ah, and try to hug each other. And it looks really funny right so anyway we're doing this we're doing this all day and uh and we're in the lunch room and this fucking robert's like bro uh put do the arm thing but wave over at we'll call her jenny he's like yo go wave over at jenny and i'm like okay and uh and i do it and i'm like hey jenny and i'm like she stands up starts crying and runs out of the cafeteria and i was like yeah i was like yeah she's gonna have some sort of

family member what happened like uh-oh i get called the office within the hour i'm in big trouble i don't know what the you're still doing it in the office the person peeking through the door what's up y'all i need help opening this one the woman at the desk is like can you sign in and he's like i can't you go to the principal's office she's also doing it she's like could you sign in and be like you know you heard of heard of me, bro. You heard what I did. Anyway, I'm coming back. Actually, I'm stuck like this. This might be a whole episode thing.

All right. So I go into the office and Jenny's there. I'm there. And I'm like, what is going on? And the principal's like, sit down. And I'm like, oh, fuck. Yeah, you're fucked apparently this person very recently had her father lose an arm to an electricity accident oh yeah and it was something that has like torn their family apart

like like so recently and i am presumed to have known this and did this to fuck with her well to be fair why the fuck else would you be doing it because i have been doing it all day and in science class i i literally could like she's got a good case i was like bring in bring in the fucking science teacher we were doing this shit and we got yelled at bring it like it's a court case in it too like phoenix right it's like bring in my first witness. Your honor, I just find this really funny. It's Phoenix, right? He's trying to point, but he has like,

the sleeve is just drooping past his arm. That's not there. Do you win the court case? So, no. So I, I, I, I narc. And I'm like, Robert told me to do this. Wow. Cause I'm like, fuck this.

No, I don't deserve to get in trouble here. And that motherfucker knew. So he's the evil one yeah that's a solid narc you got set up i have to i got set up and i didn't know if wait did robert say like wave to jenny yeah no that's what i just said it's very different if like if like you both came up with the plan and got caught and then you knocked on him like that'd be like you're a narc but because you set you up he he fucking he said hey go walk into that dark room and it was filled with mouse traps and i just started rolling around for a half hour trying to get out and so so yeah uh so basically i i knocked and i said yo he told me to do this he gets brought down we both get in school suspension i almost got out of school suspension which is like this the the step right before getting fucking kicked out of school suspension which is like this the the step right

before getting fucking kicked out of school because it's like severe bullying he's like hey man what me and you did that was fucked up both you and i it was fucked up and like as a as a principal you gotta like you know lay the hammer down it's like you can't just let you just believe this kid um so you know i i may be i may have been a little shit but i definitely okay here's the thing i'm gonna i'm gonna be honest here if if robert had said hey do this because of this reason i still might have done it i don't want to say that i'm the most innocent person in the world but i did do it unknowingly i stand with jenny yeah shouts out she's great i hope she's doing great uh and and her family and stuff but

yeah so that was that that was what happened and this came up in a decom because someone got struck by lightning or we joked about it and i was like i just thought about my principal fucking sending me to shadow realm i care i don't think i said this in the pot but when i was in middle school there was this girl who was in front of me uh she sat like right in front of me and she was always like like really mean and like and uh she always talked she always just talked about like being violent and like random shit and i was like oh she's crazy that's crazy and i had a water bottle that had a hole in the bottom of it and i was like spraying water around and uh i sprayed it on her and i hid the bottle and she like turned around she's like she doesn't know what

happened it's annoyed and i'm like okay turns back i do it again and uh and she's just like looking around and then uh i i do like a bunch of times she's like now she's riled up because you can't figure out what the fuck's like where it's coming from but she knows it's happening and there's a kid next to me named ryan and i go hey you should spray her with this bottle and he's like oh that's funny okay like he doesn't really know her that well he goes he sprays with the bottle of smile on his face she turns around she sees him holding it yeah like he's been doing this all day and she turns around and she fucking clocks him she just punches him in the face as hard as she can i like that and he starts crying ah yes and a bunch of people in the school started calling him crying instead of ryan

wow i was like fuck you're a terrible i did not think that would happen and then i went home that we're gonna start a forest fire we like beat this old man on the ground we threw a cinder block off the fucking one pen freeway I was dropping grand pianos on people if you got cocked in the face that would have changed your life do you think so?

no what if you got cocked in the face by that person and then you were crying and then everybody called you crying I wouldn't have cried because I'm a real street gangster you're a young street soldier yeah i wouldn't have cried unless it was a tattoo of a teardrop then i might have one of those but it wouldn't be real tears right yeah yeah you know what's funny same guy robert he did the same it was kind of the same exact situation but it was on the bus and it was a kid named nathan who wore like really big baggy pants with like chains on

him and nathan was fucking with me and robert and i was i was a little bit of a weakling robert was a nice guy even though he busted on his mirror a lot where he like he like protected me he was really really strong and he worked out all the time for like a high school or a middle school or even i think it was high school and uh hey because we were really friends he was a handsome guy he wasn't that handsome but he he he got his because he was just so full of confidence denver five and a huge chest grand junction 11 and he was great i didn't grow up in grand junction by the way college there anyway fucking we're on the

bus bro and we're about to get off uh sorry we just got on the bus and nathan's like fucking with me he's like he's like he's sitting in front of us and he's like turned over you know like how you like drape over yeah he's got no arms and i was like well i'm not saying about this because who knows what tragedy has befall his family and he's like and he's like hey you know he's like kind of like flicking papers at us and he knows not to with ro Robert because Robert's crazy. And his brother had huge tits. Was he handsome?

They were so, no. They were so big, bro. A Grand Junction 2, but he got huge tits. What's your rating? His brother had huge tits. Yeah. He's a great guy, too. Anyway, so he's doing this shit and robert just fucking

cocks back boom right in his forehead and i watch this kid i watch him and it's he literally does this body of yours you're gonna be mad but he's like it takes a bit for it to register he's like oh no he's holding his forehead like how a toddler cries yeah he like had to register that this really hurts and he's embarrassed and uh and yeah he's got fucking so he did that he did that this mode what's that did he punch like this was he was he in elbow mode this was years after ludwig you guys didn't keep doing it he The whole time he's just... He did. He went to school like this for four years straight. It's like a police lineup and it's like, whodunit. And he wanted to put the arms in the shirt.

And he's like looking shy. That's not our guy. Couldn't be him. Maybe he's just so strong that nobody made fun of him for it, you know? And he could keep doing that through all of high school. Robert. Yeah, no. I don't think that was the case. Man, he's just so strong that nobody made fun of him for it, you know? And he could keep doing that through all of high school Robert. Yeah, no, I don't think that was the case. Man, he's a nice guy.

The mirror was weird, but he's great. There's going to be a lot of people in college, hey, what's the mirror story? Just go back, find it. Just go find it. That's honestly? Enjoy your journey through the art. That's a hard ask.

Why would you jerk off onto the mirror, dude? Because he thought it was funny. Why would you bust the mirror? And now I think about it, and it was funny why would you and and now i think about it and it was funny and i shouldn't have judged you're right we all get a bus mirror we have a bus mirror inside one of us doesn't everyone have that everybody has a cum soccer come here one or the other everyone's got a sock cum fireplace or come here you have one of the three most efficient but most people can't afford it you

gotta you gotta get the wood it's annoying anyway pops them real fast and the whole bus ride nathan's like he's like really mad and he's just like and he's like kind of sobbing and uh and we get home he lived like down the street and i was hanging out robert's house that night and his parents called robert's parents like yo your kid fucking punch mine and his mom was like yeah and then she like pretended to ground him over the phone but was like it's okay i know that you don't like that guy yeah that's real that's trailer part where's robert now i don't know the last time i talked to him he sent me like a jesus loves you chain message on facebook so i hope he does send it to five people no dude so he's going to heaven and you're not yeah it'll be punching nerds in heaven that's tight dude seventh grade

at our school scooping was like the biggest thing in the world yeah scooping like oh yeah stop it i hate it i just remember i actually think that bit is better than audio experience i think that might be the first best audio bit scooping is like it's it's terrible but everyone's doing it to like to like random guys they barely even know uh and then like joking about like oh we're gonna do you're squeezing yeah i had puffy nipples you're not doing it you're not hating it stop it i have puppers you're just grabbing me. And then one time we had a really sweaty band teacher. And he...

Missed what? Like he really tried hard at band? No, like he would physically just be drenched after a lesson. He just sweat a lot. I think he had a sweat thing. And he would have sweat glands right under his breasts. And they would just take it. So if you wanted a wet scoop it but they were primed it was like because the best part about scooping the hardest part about

scooping is making sure you go right under the nipple and then lifting there and get out situation you know where the line is he has like he has his like a own legend of zelda he basically has a scoop me here zone. And it's like, this is my hitbox. Hit it three times and I die. And eventually, one of the students, I think Jonah, just goes up to him and just walks by. And every time you scoop, you have to go, scoop. And we're in the hall. We didn't have that rule.

We're in the hall. And it's my class because I was in band. And we get out. And then he walks out. And he has like Clipboard and left arm And his And his right

Is so supple And then Fucking Jonah goes up Goes Scoop Whole Like school Turns

Like Spongebob All the fish And then start laughing At him And he hurriedly Walks to the teacher's office And then Jonah gets called To the principal's office Dark time Jonah gets called to the principal's office

sir he scooped me and it's the teacher telling the principal scoop me that's so awesome the next year we had a new band teacher no he left oh my god

he left that year he got bullied out of school yeah he couldn't stop performing moonlight sonata he was just depressed hey what's up everyone today we're gonna and he's like someone goes to grade i also think he might have stolen my trumpet wait did you do the scoop noise again scoop yeah i think the teacher stole my trumpet that's awesome yeah fuck it right fuck these kids and then we and then we got it back because we went to the goodwill dressed like old men and

got the discount that was a saxophone but yeah same shit uh you're always talking things you're always talking about my butt it's not not your business. It's my business. Also, what is my business is what I put on my butt. Isn't it my business though? Do you think it is? Do you think that was okay what you just did? I'm going to fuck you tonight. Oh, now I'm the guy that that happened to.

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on your body right now i'm just reading it verbatim i read it off the thing you said you had you said you're the matrix i did have the matrix i brought it in look don't you can't talk about me undies comfort you want to know why because i'm the one wearing the shits right now bro i'm wearing the shitits right now, bro. I'm wearing the shit right now. And you know what? I came up here. I came up here and I was like, I'm going to shill for a sponsor today.

I'm going to say some bullshit. But I put them on and I was like, goddamn, these are actually pretty comfortable. Are they? I think they live up to the goddamn comfy name. Yeah. Our sponsor is MeUndies. They make underwear for your genitals and your butt. Yeah.

Also your balls as well. Because that's where it goes, basically. So, yeah, they also have bralettes and loungewear. Well, socks. What is a bralette? It's like the thing that girls wear. It's like not quite a bra, but it's like a fabric and it was worn as a bra. I don't think it has the support that like a regular bra does. This is why only 10% of the people who watch us are women.

No, that's not true. We're trying to figure out answers. We're not saying bralettes are stupid we want to know i want to learn actually that's what women want to hear they want to hear that i want to learn do you know how much fucking credit i got for waxing my body actually so much i'm a hero cutie did talk about you as a hero but they have okay underwear socks bralettes loungewear you're trying to get fucking comfy trying to slip into a little comfy outfit for bedtime got a little footie pajama socks i don't know if they have those i hope they do uh and then on top of that they have a membership that you can join uh for 30 off of everything monthly so it's a monthly subscription that's actually hype for people

like ludwig who literally run out of underwear because he refuses to buy them even though he has more money than jesus christ i'm down to 14 pairs and when i run out of my because he refuses to buy them even though he has more money than Jesus Christ. I'm down to 14 pairs and when I run out of my 14 pairs I go commando until I do laundry but not anymore. Because you'll have

an endless supply of MeUndies. No waiting because I went to MeUndies.com forward slash the yard. Don't ever interrupt me. I also lose underwear

all the fucking time. So I mean that's the sponsor of this episode guys. Get 15% off your first order and 100% satisfaction guaranteed. Go to MeUundies.com all you know i will say me undies is i filled out your form to for product and you only sent us one

i thought you were gonna send a lot so we want more because i want all my boys to be comfy so i want some briefs so me undies we're beefing i want some dark briefs because i have a lot of underwear with skid marks right now that is actually true by the way thenvs.com forward slash yard bye that is actually true episode we're back bye thank you thank you thank you thank you that's good marks a nest kid marks hey remember my teacher i said maybe call my mom and my mom was like that's chill what you did yeah you know he got convicted for pedophilia dude did his mom say that's chill too the police was like call your mom so i'm sure she was like like nah or dead because he's old right yeah my uh yeah my in my history middle school got like fucking putting putting not convicted i think there was a story about him in the paper

and i don't know if he like went to jail or not but same shit child porn on the school computer wow i think he was trying to see like if my parents were close, see if I was a potential next target. Yeah. Yeah. That guy, that guy just shat where he eats. Yeah, he did.

God, have some respect. I don't have a lot of faith in public teachers, like IT people, but I have enough faith that they'll catch that. Yeah.

That's an easier one. They'll stop us from going on albinoblacksheep.com and then they'll go, oh, Mr. McGillicuddy fucking certainly is looking at oh dude i like i had a visceral like string of nightmares when i was in middle school because okay so i had i had a computer class do you have computer class in school yeah we had tech it was run by a guy named i can't i don't keep saying

names but he was very tall and he bobbled his head when he was mad like excuse me anthony oh i can see it and he kind of had it's kind of like the way myth pretends to be you it's very tall and he bobbled his head when he was mad like excuse me anthony oh i can see it and he kind of had it's kind of like the way myth pretends to be you it's very funny and one time is he like the um the guy who collects piss and workaholics that's what i have in my head right now best test in west robbie yeah no okay it was more it was more bodily but one time i was trying to say the word organism in his class and i said orgasm and everyone laughed at me anyway go on i probably shaped who you are right now um yeah so i was in the come like crazy i was in computer that's not what you meant by the computer class and my computer class was basically like 50 computers and like the teacher

at the very front and everyone's at computer we're supposed to be fucking doing like fucking mavis beacon and shit and um and i was just on uh was it it Cool Math Games? Yeah, I was on Cool Math Games. And I'm just fucking playing like fancy pants or whatever. And the teacher has the ability to like go to everyone's computer, like on their computer and see what they're doing. I didn't know this. And he sees my computer, sees I'm playing games. And there's like this fucking, it felt old at the time, graphic that he's able to put on my screen to lock my computer and the whole computer fills with red and then there's these silver chains that go down

and the whole the whole computer is like red and chained and it happened to me while i was playing and i was like and i was like it was it was so surreal and weird i didn't know what was happening and i was like what did i do what did i do I do? And then he comes over and he's like, what were you doing? And I'm like, I can't lie. You fucking chained me. I'm like, why is that? And, uh,

for like a string of nightmares I had in middle school, I kept seeing that image. Wow. I couldn't get it out of my head. It reminds me of like how on TV, when it's like a virus infects a computer and they need to display to the audience. It's like a skull in a mailbox.

Like, it's bleeding. Like the virus, they added an animation inside of it yeah it's like oh the computer virus is getting us and the skulls like laughing and it's like you're gay you're not gay computer owner like the one in uh like the guy in jurassic park when uh when he hacks the computer system what it's been a while it's it's the guy from seinfeld right yeah yeah that guy and he comes up and he comes up on the screen he. What? It's been a while. It's the guy from Seinfeld, right? Yeah, yeah, that guy. And he comes up on the screen. He's like, ah, ah, ah.

Oh, that's right, yeah. I love that line where he's like, see, nobody cares. Because that's what we say now to each other. You say that mostly. You say that. I figured out inspect element in high school, and then I changed it to Hollis-Brookline fart school.

That's a great one. That's a great one. It doesn't work these days. And then in parentheses yeah yeah i got the whole school i can't stop thinking about that fucking that sweaty guy that you just described because he reminds me of uh my health teacher in school he was weird he threw a chair at james once and that was crazy because he would get real emotional and the kids would just fuck with him just try to make him cry yeah it was fucked up so me but he was he was money because he let us watch monsters inc i watched monsters in like five times in his class too many times

and i was like no no it's great because he was like yeah check this guy's computer dude because he was weird he was super weird and he didn't do his job and he teaches about shit but we watched Monsters, Inc. all the time, played dominoes with my friend JJ and we'd say,

domino, motherfucker, like in Austin Powers. We play Monsters, Inc. We play titties out in math class. We play cool math games. We play How Long Is Penis? All right.

How do you guys think Mike Wazowski would put the condom on? Would he do it with his mouth? Meep mop. Do you guys ever get your your backpack burrito you told us about this yeah yeah you're just like an inside out that shit it's fucked up it's so fucking monstrous you show up you see your backpack you go to the bathroom you come back your backpack inside out all your shit's on the inside you're just like

fuck who pink socked my school supply oh my god it's fucking gross what's pink sock yeah oh summer child bend over kiddo it's when you uh yeah it's called the prolapsed anus does that ring a bell yeah okay it's that it's just a slang for that oh so you can't do it to someone no you no oh you can in fact that's's how it happens. It's done to you. Right. Yeah. But, like, I mean, like, as a school prank. I mean, it's not putting a bunch of sporks in the football field,

but it could be a prank. I'm going to stop asking questions. Yeah, we prolapsed our band teacher's anus. And we said, scoot. Dude. Zipper loves that one you think middle schoolers are all like making content

uploading thumbnails of like going to school yeah man it scares me and then they're looking at Ludwig like fucking

like god what's his name the Minecraft guy I'm gonna get Steve no Fundy Fundy who I described

the other, a couple episodes back. He's like, yeah, I watched you in Ludwig's videos. Like how to fucking, we studied those. Try to be funny.

Same shit's happening, but they're doing it in the cafeteria, prolapsing each other, doing meth before grade school. Fucked up. I did it. Country's fucked up. I was 16.

I made a vlog when I went to school because we had like a, like a fun day and we did tie dye. You ever watch Face Temper goes to school? No. Day in the Life? You ever watch that one?

No. How old was Face Temper when that happened? I think he was like a sophomore in high school. I think we're the same age. But he was in Phase, right? So he had like some cool factors.

Yeah, Phase had like 20,000 subscribers which was a huge deal. Cigarette burns on his chest and shit. It's a terrible video. Just going to school. There were two people

in my high school had 10,000 subscribers on YouTube. Were you jealous as fuck? No. What did they upload? They lip synced to videos and they did fake lip singing music videos. And I was like, this is not that great.

You think the Smosh guys are like slamming 30 year old fans nowadays? They are so public in terms of the content they create. They're not gone. Are you saying 30-year-old fans? Like fans that were fans of them at the time that are now 30, like me. No, I think that Anthony, at the very least, of Smosh is still very popular. Anthony is super popular, relevant, hot.

His current show is huge and very hot. He still very popular. Anthony is super popular, relevant, hot. His current show is huge. And very hot. And I think Ian's also still part of Smosh which is doing well enough. Well, that... Hey, what's Fred up to? Like, hey, it's Fred. No, the other Fred. Off the radar.

Off the radar? Off the radar. He made a bunch of movies and now he's off the radar. Fred, if you're out there... Fred for the podcast next podcast guys fred dude your voice is normal yeah everyone says that he starts chain smoking yeah he he gets on his voice is really deep he's like you know who uh who's else voice is fake he's like lily! I fucking flipped the fireplace.

I fucking knew it! They're jumping around. They're both in the same weird AA. You know, it's funny. We went to, me and Aiden went to Battle of B-O-B-C, B-B-C. Yeah, y'all went to Canada. We went to Canada, and it was fun. It was like a, it was a tournament for Melee and Smash Ultimate that was very, it was like small in terms of the number of entrants,

but it had like huge hitters, which was crazy. Mango was supposed to go, but he didn't end up going. But then fucking then Leffen, like you chic and like beat fucking Zayn, which is crazy. You guys like understand Melee or don't, that's pretty big deal. And it was really fun. I had a really fun time.

I wanted to talk about someone who was annoying, but also it was funny. And I want to preface this with two things there's like 50 people that came up to me at this tournament all super nice super fucking fine everything was great had conversations had like little fist bumps pictures everything was great most of the time i'm nice and people are nice and i'm only telling this story because it's funny and also fuck this person. Are you trying to avoid the comment section?

No, I'm not. I'm just trying to paint the picture that most of the time things are pretty good. 98% success rate. I think I know who this is and also

No, no, no. It's not that person. It's not that person? We can talk about that person. Okay, okay, okay. Okay, 96%. Shut up. This person comes up

and you have something to do with this and it's, oh God, it was such a whiff. This person comes up to me. Yo, Slime, what's up? And I'm like, hey, how's it going? Like, yo, I just want to say you have something to do with this and it's oh god it was such it was such a whiff this person comes up to me yo slime what's up and i'm like hey how's it going like yo i just want to say dude fucking love the content like two and uh one and a half hot guys got me into melee yeah one and a half hot guys is ludwig and mikey's commentary compilation when they were at

run back it was our duo name it was your duo name and i'm not in it it's literally ludwig and mikey's commentary compilation when they were at run back it was our duo name it was your duo name and i'm not in it it's literally ludwig and mikey and i was like i'm not in that and the guy freezes up he's like no no like i'm pretty sure you are he says yeah you are and i'm like an immediate like i'm like you fucked up because i had to poop So I'm already trying to move fast. So I just walk away. I just walk away. He starts following me. No, Slime, dude, no, please. He's got the YouTube scrolling through it.

Dude, it was so fucking funny. Half of this is for the bit. But also, it's like, you invoked Ludwig. And so I have a really funny reason to be mad at you. I don't really care. And I'm like, nah, you fucked up? No, no no no picture he's like slide please no come on dude come on and finally i like let him go like 10 steps and

i turn around he's like look dude okay i'm sorry i just look i brought you something and i just wanted you to like see this thing that i brought you and i'm like okay fucking sure bro but you fucked up and i gotta poop so you better make it fast. Reaches into his backpack. He's like, I know on that one episode you had a tiny bat. You said, oh, I love a Chicago Cubs tiny bat. He's like, and he brought it out, and it's a Chicago Cubs tiny bat. I said, this was my father's favorite baseball team.

It's just going to remind me of my dead dad, which was true. Also, I didn't want to carry this shit around and also you're a criminal i'm not a criminal also i don't want my connection to my father be something that a random guy gave me who got the video wrong that i'm not even in so i was like i don't want that and he's like okay and i said it was nice to meet you and then i I just leave. And I never talk to him. Oh, dude. You're a weapon in person. That was brutal. I'm pretty fun. Hey, can I, again, what's the opposite of preface?

Postface? Postface. Postface? Most of the people are really nice. I yelled at Gannabrader. Yeah, that was the one that I wanted to bring up. I almost made him fucking cry. Because he said we could talk about it

because we were talking about it at the venue yeah ganabraider the falco player i didn't know his ganabraider he's like been a tree monster for years and years like it probably would have been a little easier um smash the record oh yeah he was part of my tour your your your force your run yeah chillin's mario shout out to chillin shout out to chillin yeah yeah we'll talk about that a little bit but uh yeah ganabraider he's walking by with like fucking three of his friends. He's PNW, right? Yeah. Fuck PNW.

Dun no. More like P-U. This person walks by who I don't know. Like P and no Ws. Dude, true. PN, hey, weird. Pacific North weird. I fucking hate you, Gannabreder.

He's fine. He's walking by. I'm like in this aisle way where a lot of people have to walk by charging my phone because it's the closest outlet and I can just charge my phone and like kind of hide. But I guess I was kind of in the way. But I don't want to fucking travel to charge this shit. Anyways, walking by. And he's like, yo, is that Northern Lion?

He says that. Three of his friends start snickering while walking. The Kanker sisters came to find you. It was Kanker sister mode. And I go, what? in he says that three of his friends start snickering while walking the canker sisters it was canker sister mode and and i go what and he looks back and he's kind of like i was like oh come here no no no come here no let's talk about this let's talk about it they all stop turn around and come back to me and i'm like this is so awesome and i'm again i'm in my mask my hat i'm charging my phone i am like just alone in the world and i'm like do you think that's funny and he's like well no i'm

just saying like am i like fucking cartoon character dude because i i genuinely feel this way it's it's it pisses me off this one this one i'm on your side on this one and uh and he's like no man i didn't mean it's like so why would you make that joke to someone you don't know like i don't think that's fair i don't say that shit to you i don't say that shit to other people i've never done that shit which is true i never did this even when i was like fucking a rando jimbo you made fun of jenny in her father's in smash okay okay sorry public place anyway and so i just sit there and i'm scolding them. And then all three of his friends are like, bro, we didn't say anything. It's all him. No way. Dude.

And so now I, and he has narc friends. He has narc friends. I laser focus on him. I'm like, Robert told us to do it. Oh my God. And so I'm like,

yeah, dude, just like a fucking that, that pissed me off. So just leave me alone. He's like, I'm really sorry. I'm like,

it's fine. And then they walk away. He comes back. I'm talking to soon say, and he like gets in the conversation, like standing around. I've cooled off a bit. Sun Tzu is great. And I like finish my sentence with Sun Tzu. I'm like, this guy and me are beefing.

I explained the whole thing to Sun Tzu in front of him. That's awesome. And then I say, and I assume you like want to say something about this. So let's, you know, I'm here to talk about it. What's up? And he's just like, apologizes again. He's like gannon brader and i'm like fuck i didn't know man i'm sorry like we do kind of know each other online a bit yeah it's not totally unwarranted still piss me off and we like squashed it real fast you know i'm also a fast squasher

and uh you are a fast squasher quick to rise quick to squash quick to rise quick to squash i think that's fair um and then that was pretty much that was pretty much it yeah he everything came up to me after and he was like oh i just had me and slime mean slime are beefing right now because it's something i did and he just explains the whole thing to me it's like i knew as soon as i said it i fucked up that's what he said and uh i'm just laughing because i've known sam for a really long time. Like he's, he is from Washington Melee and he came to like all my first tournaments I ran since like 2014. We've been to a ton of tournaments together. So I know Sam's like a really good guy. Like I like hanging out with Sam and spending time with him.

And he's also been like a shillionaire since fucking day one. Yeah, I don't know any of this. And this context does, unfortunately randos like if if if i like know of you usually melee people like if melee people are annoying to me online ssbm in the name i always give them a little bit of a break because i'm like you know we're part of the same like thing that we love and and if i knew it was like gander brader we're like fuck you bro and like whatever uh but i just thought it was some random person trying to fuck with me which i hate also northern line it's fine it's just the idea of yeah to be clear the insult is not that it's northern lion it's just to yell at a guy you don't know and say something and be

laughed at another bald man yeah northern lion's great one of the best people to be compared he's like it's not because you're bald it's because your quality of character and i was like shut the fuck up not because your knowledge of food in the Middle East. Yeah, so that's what happened, and that was, again, by the way,

the tournament was wonderful. Everyone was really, really nice, and I liked it a lot. Yeah, I'm sad I didn't go, honestly. I got a DM from you,

right? I think it was you. What? It was just a picture of a menu, and it said, Inception Bomb, and it was like, three liquors

inside of themselves. No, that was Yingling. I inside of themselves no that was yingling i think yingling sent that to you and that was that at the spot yeah at the club so we we had a we had a ridiculous like saga of an evening me nick yingling josh and a bunch of other people on the last night and uh yeah i i carved out some space to fucking talk about that because dude nick nick yingling is let me start by saying Nick Yingling is insane. Like an insane person to just go out with in general.

I was this close to telling him to fucking shut up during this trip. Nick Yingling, if you're listening, he just has to comment on everything sometimes. And I want to tell him, hey. Oh, yeah, you're getting Yinglinged. Leave a gap. Leave a gap in the conversation, Nickingling you get for who joe no candace you're just drinking like a beer he's like you like beer huh and it's like i'm gonna fucking kill you i swear to god that's how i felt that's how i felt on monday morning

i was so ready to do it and i did the same thing that you did when we were we finally get back to the parking lot at the airport to go home and he makes one more comment i stopped the car and i'm like say sorry did you drive home really what did you say i didn't hold out as long as him though oh you did this too dude you know about this we told you on the pod yeah we did it when we came back i was mad at aiden at the airport so i parked my car in the middle of the fucking parking lot i said you're sorry i'm Genesis. I was mad at Aiden at the airport, so I parked my car in the middle of the fucking parking lot. I said, say you're sorry, I'm not moving. He's trying to get out of the airport parking lot, and Yngwie's just in the back.

He's like, man, you're really getting owned by this parking lot right now. And Nick just slams on the brake and says, say you're sorry. Say you're sorry, I'm not moving. I'm not moving this. Cars are piling up behind us, and I'm like, say you're sorry, I'm not moving. And he goes, he stays for minutes. I love that. Consequence.

And then on the way home, we were really close to Yingling's house, but not really close enough to like get out and walk with your luggage, but close enough where you can see it. And he said something again, and I parked the car again, and he's so tired. He wants to go home, but he's in the crossfire. And I'm like, you're walking home. I'm like, say you're sorry, or you're walking home. You did this to Nick Yingling? Yeah.

He's like, I'm not saying it. I'm not saying sorry. And I'm like, your house is right there. You're either walking right fucking now, or you're sorry or you're walking home. You just said Nick Yangling? Yeah. He's like, I'm not saying it. I'm not saying sorry. And I'm like, your house is right there. You're either walking right fucking now or we're staying right here. That's so fucking money, bro. And Abe's looking over. He's like, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm like, you don't get to be sorry. Whatever you got to do to move, please. I was so hungover when this is happening. So all I want is to go home. I've been silent the entire car ride just let me be home and nicky lee is like no i won't fucking do it like it's sitting in the back and that is the thing about nicky and all that shit happened he's still the same guy you know what i mean he doesn't change up for anyone and i respect that so he's a national treasure so i i was up in the area i

didn't go strictly for battle of bc I was up in the area to see my family for my brother's graduation on the Friday. And I didn't get to spend very much time at the tournament. I just drove up on Saturday to hang out a bit and I thought I wasn't going to come back. But on Sunday, I go to see my other little brother on Vancouver Island. And then I come back late after the tournament is over.

And me, Anthony, are planning to go get dinner with yingli and josh and then when i get to campus to meet them we run into like leffin and zane and j mook and they want to go out too so they're going to come to the same spot we later all go out to dinner and it's this like cool nice spot everybody starts drinking then like people are ordering a lot of a lot of drinks including including nick yingley to josh and uh after this place closes we head to the bar down the street that and we're in downtown vancouver and we walk into this place and they're about to close but the waiter is australian and josh latches onto this and he's like yo you from australia mate like like that yeah and then the dude's like yeah it's fucking fucking new south w this and he's like, yo, you from Australia, mate? Like that?

And then the dude's like, yeah, it's fucking New South Wales. And he's like, no way. I'm from Bankstown. He's like, all right, I'll get you guys for one. So a little Australian charm to sit 14 people down and get us drinks. Yeah, you're all cunts as far as I'm concerned. And fucking Josh is sitting there and there's this playlist on he's like dude this is an australian band and he's like every verse and change in the song he's like it's about to do this and he like makes a sound with his mouth and then it happens right after and we're sitting

there like just knowing the song yeah it's just it's parents dogging it's like some weird like australian rock band that uh and then uh the the waiter comes back up he's like dude is this your playlist like they're just they're fucking hamming it up the menu has this one thing on it called the inception bomb and it just sounds like it's like a mixed drink with like three different types of liquor so we all decide to order one but the bartender starts making this and we it's not a normal mixed drink it is a pitcher with tears of drinks like it's fucking super mario 64 clockwork yeah clockwork level there's a there's a picture on i think nick yingling's twitter yes yeah that like you can see this it's really i think twitter's the most annoying thing by the way because it's like damn like my life and movie straight up like fucking 5 a.m sunglasses and advil last night was mad real and i'm like what the fuck happened get to the end of this dude

get to the end of this night and you will agree so the way this shit works is you like you start with a shot at the top and when you lift that shot out like the Jaeger falls into the other cup and then you lift the other cup and the last shot falls into the pitcher and you drink it all in like order in like one go. And then the guy you're with becomes a giant suit of armor. Dude, everybody fucking sinks this and everybody is immediately drunk. Like because a bunch of people uh had were already drunk from the previous restaurant we were at and this sends everybody into a different dimension and everybody starts describing how drunk they are by describing which scene in inception they are that's a good definitely the snow level zane is is like, yeah, I think I'm in the hotel because I'm not quite snow level yet.

And everybody's just fucking plastered. But we have to get out of this place and we want to roam to like wherever the next bar is that we can find.

And we leave and as we leave, the Zane and Leffen get stopped. They get recognized by somebody. And in the process of them being recognized

by people who weren't even at the event that weekend, they didn't even know it was happening. They just knew who Zane and Leffen get stopped. They get recognized by somebody. And in the process of them being recognized by people who weren't even at the event that weekend, they didn't even know what was happening. They just knew who Zayn and Leffen were. This random dude

who was not with us at the beginning of the night in like a North Face jacket and a backpack just like joins our group. No context. Yeah, you got a collectible item. Nobody knows

who this guy is, but we all think somebody else knows who this is and they and they tag along yeah which is really funny because he this third party the mystery man remains with us for the remainder of this night he comes to everything we do does he know like smash dude that was the that was the thing we didn't think he did because i asked him i was like because i assume he's one of the people who recognize leffen and zane because he joined around the same time and i'm like do you

recognize them like do you know them and he said no and i was like oh so this is just a random guy who wants to have a good time he's he's just like i thought you guys seem cool you should be careful of that because people will approach uh us and they'll like maybe online or something pretend they don't know us yeah and then like try to like go what's up and then you find out in a weird way later that they did know yeah and they're trying to like be cool like they weren't a fan it's like just be honest same thing happened to miskiff he went to korea and a guy went up to him and and he was like oh wait like aren't you miskiff and this was like yeah you watched this he's like no not really like i think i just kind of saw you and uh and they're like they chatted and all this and then he hung out with him for the whole

day that same guy did the same thing to poke main three months later when she went to korea and he was like uh no not really uh but like i was on mizkis stream and like i'm the guy who like people think have sex with a lot of people because i was like a that's how he that's how he described himself that's how he described himself he sounds stable he's a terrible terrible wow that's so gross yeah by the way in the future anyone listening to any situation ever just be honest because it shouldn't matter if you watch twitch if he yeah honestly if he was if he was just honest at the gate and said like i don't even know if he was like really lying maybe he was just trying to like we don't know for my question yeah this is only this is only our elephant story because of this conversation but i went to the cinegear expo

last weekend it's like a big cinema gear like convention where like all the like the new aria alexa camera was there and like lights and stuff and there was so many oh he you don't you don't like that camera do you think that's a cringe camera that's so tight that the aria alexa was there i don't care about this part uh there was just i think it's cool i don't fucking care you think it's cool oh the nick gets destroyed never mind do they have the sony a7 4 yeah yeah that's a good question yeah no no it was cringe it was cringe i went out to get food they only had the computer parts and like it's funny because he's making fun of you but i would actually want to know i did they talk about how better resolve is at doing color yeah they

invented a new megapixel like a steve jobs power whatever you wouldn't get nixon nicks back in the xbox live call fight for his life right now go on anyway there was a fucking weird amount of yard listeners there oh yeah i ran into like 10 people who were like oh i listen i work at technicolor and i watched the yard oh shit like what the fuck like who are these people and someone came up and uh and they instantly were like oh i'm a big fan like blah blah uh i would love to work on your stuff i i'm a gaffer lighter etc and I was like thank you for I thanked him I said thanks for saying that first because I've had people not do that and try to get work from me and it's weird just be honest it doesn't matter if you like

the yard it just means yeah I was I told her I said like I'm like you're not asking for unsolicited advice it's also not advice it's like a fee it's feedback but this was good i love i loved this interaction thank you for that it means a lot yeah anyway random guy vancouver 3 a.m yeah and we we have a big we have a big group right it's like 14 people walking and uh the first kind of like stop we make along the way to the second bar is by this van and it's for uh raw rolling papers and this dude is in the van selling weed out of the minivan in the middle of downtown vancouver that's chill that's lit that's my buddy kyle i don't know if it's i'm pretty sure it's not chill was he coughing on you definitely the way he was talking the way he was talking to his like

definitely seemed like he was not supposed to be selling the weed out of the van. Got it, yeah. The rolling papers are fine. That's why it's a rolling paper van. It's just the papers. I don't know what you can do with it. These are moleskin paper replacements. They're made out of beaver tail, actually. And these three guys are standing outside of the van.

These three kind of bro-y guys. One of them has a cowboy hat on and nick engling was way in front of us he's already talking to these guys he started up some sort of conversation the dude in the cowboy hat comes across as the leader if you will yeah and he is so psyched to talk to nick and he's so psyched to learn like he's like the typical canadian bro he's like oh you guys are from the States. How is it down there? You guys are crazy. You got some guns down there. Yeah, the one, two. Yeah, bet, bet.

And talking about how like, yeah, we're just fucking, yeah, we live in Vancouver, man. I go to these clubs all the time. We get fucking drunk every weekend. Like it's... He's the... Outrageous one. Outrageous one. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Boobies flying around. Deeks in box. And we found out this guy's name is Callan and he's talking about like, yo, it's country night at the Roxy. We're headed over there. Well, maybe we'll see you there later. And we like leave this interaction,

but not before they get Nick England's Instagram. That's a clue and hit man. That's a clue and hit man. Yeah. Look for the guy in the toupee. You press F3 and you have a new way into the Roxy. Yeah. And they,

they exchange info and we go to this bar called like dimes across the street. Not a lot happens at dimes, except people proceed to get significantly more fucked up. Everybody. Everybody. No, it's just like a normal. You just have to be really hot.

Yeah. Yeah. Calgary seven josh breaks out at the table while we're there the get up game you know the one where he okay have you guys played the get up game with josh so he does like he puts his hand on the table and he's like okay this is like this is knock down and then i if i stand my finger up it's get up if i wave my finger like this it's get up attack and if i do this it's roll and the first person this is just like manual analog melee yeah and the first person to say the word of what it is like wins that round of this so we're really good at this chasing yeah it's five of us sitting at one of the tables doing this it's and it's like me

zane mokey jay mook and jay mook's just crushing yeah he says it so fast every single time he says it like as josh is still doing the motion everybody's like half a second behind it's fucking insane that he's still killing the game and he's also wasted yeah he's just built differently um so we've we have to leave this place now and we start we start slowly like spreading out to leave i want to at this point i'm i'm not drunk i want to go home because our flight is super early but leffin it will not shut the fuck up about going to a club he's like don't leave we have to go to a club together we have to go to a club together he's like look what i found and he's like this place roxy's is right down the street in my head i know that it's country night at roxy's and i'm like you know what i'm not gonna

say anything let's go to country night and you put on a fake mustache you're like let's go for once in your goddamn life aiden you don't explain something and you see the beauty in not doing it. Yeah. Like, let's see. Let's see how our group of 15 smashers fare at the country night on Sunday. Yeah. And we, the, the, you know, our whole group guy who's just joined us still like going,

going to this new place and we go into the fucking country bar. It's it. This place is fun. Like a lot of people are there. It's packed. Even though the fucking country bar it's it this place is fun like a lot of people are are there it's packed even though it's sunday it's pretty crazy music fucking blows dude i it's a bunch of old country like bangers but i know like one in every three songs oh it's actually like slice of nashville in vancouver it's so it's so weird to experience and uh we're we're all hanging out at the bar and josh leaves the group like at some point he stops dancing which we're all kind of half dancing to country

music i'm like wonder wonder what josh is doing and i look over across the room and josh is talking to a girl at the bar and i'm as you know and this and this girl is like what the fuck are we gonna have sex you're really tall and handsome but this is so stupid josh josh has been a bit of a hound anyway it's a bit of a sea hound he's he's talking to this girl at the bar so i wander over because we've been there for a while i can't fucking i want to blow my brains out i don't want to listen to country music anymore what about chicken fried barbecue sauce on my white t-shirt yeah that's a good one that's a real song that's an alan jackson's think my sister's cute i didn't i did not think my pickup truck's hot you guys you guys think you're funny this is how i grew up my car I listen to so much country music

I'm glad we're all on the same page My ex is from Jersey and pretended she was country My mom is obsessed with country music I just listen to it everyday on the way to school I'm so glad we share this misery I've been to two country concerts Really? Dude I went to Rock Jam And Grand Junction

People fuck on the ground there like it's calcutta that's cool what's calcutta i want to see that i think that happens in calcutta i don't it's just it's a george carlin bit don't you want to see that just but they do fuck on the ground it's gross anyway go on in colorado at rock jam specifically they do that at dave matthews what was that what was the concert we saw a video of that concert and some girl was getting eaten out in like a wash pit. On Twitter, yeah. That's gross.

Yeah, that was pretty raw. You're getting sick. Bill Harmonic. Yeah, you know there's like fucking like kettle corn in there still. He pulls out like, oh shit. Just in the merch line. I just want a t-shirt.

So I walk over to Josh and he's not just talking to the one girl anymore it's her and her friend of course and uh and he introduces he introduces me to them i'm like nice to meet you and he's like this is aiden it's his birthday josh is so fucking stupid charming, bro. I feel like he puts on extra Australian when he's talking to like girls. This is Iden. He's his birthday.

We eat three of those and all. Iden and all, we wouldn't be drinking liquor all right now. You know we'd be drinking right, the big ones and the big cans. Foster's, that's right. Do I get six? We love fosters. These girls are immediately, before I can say anything, like, oh, happy birthday.

Oh, my God. It's so great. And I'm like, it's not mine. And Josh just cuts me off. He's like, so? It's like, what were we saying? I don't even get a chance to explain. And we're like halfway,

halfway through the conversation. And he's like, he's like, how about we sing him one? And he starts up happy birthday at the bar for me. And with these two girls leading the song. And I'm like, Jesus fucking Christ, dude. Come on. And they leave.

I also go back to our group for a while to see what's going on. And the country music's still going. It's gotten slightly better. It's country night. It's a night. It's not a country hour. I don't know why.

I think I come back to the dance floor. It's like, maybe it'll be country music that I like. And it's just not. You just pay. You slip the guy $100 to play one 6ix9ine song just to flush everything out please please play some xxx fantastic could you play gummo once there's old town road getting that playlist or is it like no if it was there we missed it it was a lot of older it's authentic

country night yeah it's not none of that fake stadium shit yeah um. But I'm getting bored again. And I see that Yingling is on the other side of the bar, as well as Josh, again, talking to this guy. And I meet this man named Randy. And Randy is... You know how there's those guys who clearly were nerds in high school, but have developed some sort of like sense of what could be cool in like style and they'll go to like clubs or functions and be like they'll talk about

girls a lot and they'll talk about like fucking girls do you do you know what the type of guy i'm describing before yes i i met one of these guys in vegas yeah and he was like yeah this is how you make moves on women and shit like that they're trying to like prove that they've been doing this a long time yes exactly but they have it because anybody who has doesn't talk like that yeah it's embarrassing and he but he's he's that guy but he's canadian so he's still really like nice infused with it oh fuck yeah bro yeah i can't that's that was your canadian i had it up till that point oh fuck you just gotta tell them that you think they look nice that was like wisconsin australia

sorry go on so all over the place yeah this is rough I'm having a bad one this is a weak one I've seen you do a good Canadian accent before it's the lack of arms he he's talking to Josh he's like dude you're foreign

like any girl here will fuck you bro they'll all they all love that Josh is rolling his eyes like I know why are you telling me this gross fucker

but then he turns to me and he's like you're a good looking guy man you single and I keep saying I'm like no he's like are you sure man you single and i'm like no he's like i got 20 friends here they all been talking about you all night they're all down to fuck you and i'm like you don't have to say this he's like no man i'm not lying there's 20 women here and they're all talking about you

and he's like you just gotta be charming and he's like you're from europe right i'm like do i sound like i'm from europe wow and he just assumed i'm foreign because josh is and he keeps repeating the same thing and then yingling yingling wasn't with us yet and he walks over and i'm like you i'm like i'm telling him is like you don't have to lie to me to gas me up dude i'm fine i'm having a nice night i just want to listen to music. And Yingling comes over and he starts saying the exact same shit to Yingling. It's so weird. Like bar for bar. And then Josh at some point

has had enough of this. He's like, Randy, it's Aiden's birthday. Oh no! And Randy does the same thing. He's like, no way. I'm buying us shots.

And he goes over the bar, gets shots, and comes back over. And Josh starts up happy birthday. Oh, my God. Coast to coast. He's his mother. Yeah.

He's Jennifer Lawrence's mother. Meanwhile, Nick Ealing is telling me about how his man, Callan, with the hat that he met in the street smoking weed, is here. And they've been hanging out all night. They've been like chumming it up. That's where Nick Yingling has been because he wasn't dancing with us. And I, after all of this, it's like it's almost four. We have to wake up at like 630. I want to fucking leave.

I want to go home. And I'm like, Josh, Josh, can we leave in a bit, please? Like no more birthday songs, please. Wait, when's closing time in these places? I think this place closes at like 5. That's insane. That's crazy. It was a pretty like wild...

On God's night, too. It still had a shit ton of people, too. It's 2 a.m. like everywhere in America, except Vegas, New York. Yeah, it's pretty... 2 a.m. is like, all right, time to go home. Come on, kiddos, we got work in the morning. Like everyone, it's crazy.

And Josh is like, just give me a minute let me say bye and i'm like i'll do the same thing but yingling i'm talking to yingling i'm looking at him and he's like please come home yingling your phone is dead you're not going to be get able to get home by yourself and he's like no no he's like you you fucking cocksucker that's what he said yes i said you're you're the same i said you're me right now and i'm like please dude you don't have a phone we're we live far away here like we're not you can't walk back like please come with probably doesn't know the way back he doesn't know that i know he doesn't know the way back he's also wasted yeah but he insists on not leaving and i'm like what can i do what can i do i'm like

okay nick nick please just write the airbnb address down on a piece of paper and put it in your pocket so someone will call you an uber staple into your shirt and and he goes over to the bartender gets this i see him write it down i know he has this piece of paper he puts it in his pocket and me and josh go out of the place and we're waiting outside and josh is like we can't leave him here man like i'll do the convincing i'll get him and he walks back in it's his birthday josh josh i see like through the door from outside josh talking to nick like this like leaning over him because he's so much taller and nick is shaking his head trying to lip read it and nick nick he josh comes out he's like there's no convincing that man and he's like let's go no i'm not going no candace will take care of me we we uber we uber back

and we wake up the next morning in just like a couple hours yingling thankfully is the person who wakes me up and i'm like oh good nick made it back somehow and i come out into the living room and he explains that he has just recently arrived back at the airbnb and had been wandering the streets of vancouver most of the evening and he didn't have a charge on his phone right so he doesn't and he couldn't find the paper that i saw him put in his pocket so he doesn't have the address he after wandering around for like an hour in just downtown vancouver finds callan again at a bus stop and he is like callan like and he walks over to him all excited and he's like give me your phone give me your phone he pulls up in in his phone he's remembered that when they were talking the first time he

typed in the airbnb address into google maps to show callan where we were and it is in recent search history on google maps so he pulls up the address and callan calls him an uber back after after wandering around and it's so resourceful of nick yingling nick yingling's a hero nick yingling no no no he's standing in the living room and i'm like holy shit well i'm glad you're okay i'm glad you made it back and nick i turn around i go into the kitchen and nick's like oh it's right here and he pulls out the piece of paper with the address written down. And I'm like, are you fucking kidding me, Nick? Yeah. And the only thing that stops me from getting fucking so angry at him is that he's like, wait, look. And I turn around in the kitchen and we look on the wall.

And it is this massive painted canvas of the club that we were at all evening on the wall of our Airbnb. Yeah. Yeah. You didn't steal that? Dude. How did you not steal that? Because the guy had two cats and he made me feed them. The Airbnb guy literally made me feed his two cats

and I was like, well. Now you have a good birthday present for Yingling. Did you go to the club? No. The funny thing, two things. Have you ever seen The Shining? Anybody? Yeah.

It's literally shining. That is fucking crazy club no the funny thing with two things have you ever seen the shining anybody yeah yeah it's literally shining like that that is fucking crazy that you guys had that night and then this whole time there was a painting probably materialized overnight uh and no so what i did i had a stomach ache because i ate a smoothie in the morning tummy hurt and my tummy bears hurt and also i'm anti-social so i was like right at right at the finish line when we go home. I'm like, you know what? I'm bailing. I don't want to go to dinner.

Plus there's like eight people now. It's like a huge thing. And it did turn into a huge thing. So I instead go back to the Airbnb, watch videos on my phone. I watch Wendover. I watch the cybersecurity one. That was a good one. It's a great one.

And then I ordered a whole pizza and I housed it by myself. Holy shit. put her there dude that that actually reminds me when we came back like when we first got back it was a dark in the living room and there was a guy sleeping on the couch and in my head this guy is not any of the people that are staying at the airbnb and the owner of the airbnb had asked you to take care of the cat that was there. So he clearly lives in the house normally. Like he must live in. Yeah it's a very lived in spot. It's like a human's house.

It's really weird. It's a new trend with Airbnbs. I don't like it. He just leaves for a weekend? I dead ass think so. That's actually what it was like. There's like pictures of like his kids everywhere and shit. I'm like fuck this. This is someone's home. But I know that the beds. I can do anything in here. I know that the beds are like taken up. So in my head, it's like,

oh, maybe the owner is sleeping on the couch. That's so weird. To be nice. Maybe he came back early. And I see the guy, and I'm like, are you the owner? And then Josh is like, bro, that's fucking Lucky. Yeah.

Lucky was staying with us. Lucky is just asleep on the couch, and I didn't recognize him. I thought it was the owner of the Airbnb. Yeah, he thought Lucky was now a Vancouver resident. That's a high story. Good tournament. Him and Nolste.

Yeah, it was a great night out. I just, I hate Nick. After all this. Yeah, I think that's kind of the thesis of all of this, is that Nick Yingling makes things worse a lot. My takeaway is that Nick Yingling is the life of the party and a hero. He is. You know what drastically changes the story for me? That he woke you up instead

of you having to wake him up. Yeah. That changes everything for me. That is huge. Also, you guys had to get up early. He didn't go to bed. He never slept. That was the thing. That's the thing about him. He's always grinding. Ludwig's just happy that he put together a calendar for him. We were in the airport. We were at the gate waiting for the flight

and all he wants to do is sleep and he was like if I get off this flight and Ludwig asks me to do anything today I will kill myself and did you? no I asked him to do things on Wednesday he's in the clear yeah it was a really fun you know I was this close to

bailing too because it was like on all battle BC yeah because like I have shit i have so much shit to do like physically where i live now and like it was just like oh i gotta travel you lose so many days traveling and then i was like you know what it might be josh's last tournament because he was gonna fly back to australia from battle of bbc yeah and he didn't and so that kind of pissed me off but once i got there last minute plan once i got there i was like i'm glad i came and it made me feel nice and it was a really nice time and joshy is going to stay here for a little bit longer which is cool and in the states and the states they go home before ice fucking strings

him up by his feet and whips him and one more thing that i i'm surprised i forgot this this happened this happened in the streets between the between the last bar and before we went to the club. We're walking over the club and somebody, there's these two dudes walking towards us. And one of them is like stumbling a bit more and he has two buttons undone. And he's obviously significantly more drunk than the other guy that is with him. And they're walking towards our big group on the sidewalk. And this guy stumbles straight up to me and he looks at me and he points and he just says wait okay i got the thumbnail aiden meets the most based man in vancouver

and then he walks away and then and then i i i then I turn to the group. Because I was like, what is going on? I turn back. I'm not kidding. Two more buttons undone. He's four buttons deep now. And then he turns to Stude. And then he's just like, no, actually, you are.

What? Yeah. To Stude. To Stude. Stude has at least a foot on this guy stewed is stewed is six seven for those who don't know he's huge and and uh and then he immediately backs down and he's like i'm i'm so sorry like i i i didn't i didn't mean that i'm just i'm just fucking around like oh my god he's the dude that alex was talking about in his youtube

comments yeah yeah he just instantly pulls back just just having a good night and his friend is just like sorry i don't know what's going on and this was like a really common theme i thought about you being called that no you're i thought about your capybara tweet a lot oh yeah because because there was this instance when we were leaving roxy's where this drunk guy comes out of roxy's with a glass and the bouncer's like hey stop you can't take that glass out and the guy's like oh i'm sorry man i didn't mean to do that i just like it's just in my hand and uh the guy that the bouncer uh just looks at him he's like it's all right man it happens it's like so every like figure or person we interacted with,

whether it be like shitty bro dude with cowboy hat on, like bouncer, this random drunk guy in the street that like acted like he wanted to start a fight. They all have this nice Canadian sign off to everything. So no one, everybody is like, no matter how shitty they are, they still have this Canadian kindness that shines through. The worst person in Vancouver is Ganna Brana brader no because he also apologized tiny bat guy the way tiny bat guy that was more funny than anything he's not canadian i don't give me gifts i don't care i don't want to have to hold on to a tiny bat the whole time i don't care

the p.o boxes have displayed to the world that we throw away things. You would like a better gift. What if they gave you a baby tooth? What if someone came up to you and gave you the McRibbis back hat when you didn't have it? Yeah, alright. Okay. You're right. You've owned me and I'm wrong. If they gave me something super special and cool like the McRibbis back hat, which Mike got me

who is a true friend and a true blue American, then yes. But, you know, that doesn't, I just hate the idea of people feeling like they need to give me something to have a lasting impression when it's really like, don't.

Dude, slime, so I know you said you brought a pink socks on the last episode, right? Bend over, brother. Did we hit our 90? That's all. That's all she wrote, folks. Wow, that's crazy. That's all for now, brother. Did we hit our 90? That's all. That's all she wrote, folks. Wow, that's crazy. That's all for now, folks.

So you're just going to keep wearing influencer merch to the day you fucking croak or what? If they keep giving it to me, then yes, sir. Wow. I mean, I guess I did buy this one, though. Did you? Yeah, for Schlatt. You supported the cause? I buy Schlatt's merch.

I didn't buy his Rammys. I also bought that one. I bought that one, then Aiden stole it. He gave us Rammys. There's also a Carl Jacobs sweater that's been rotting outside in the one i bought that one then aiden stole it he gave us rammies there's also a carl jacobs sweater that's been rotting outside in the front yeah it's a shirt it's a shirt is it a shirt yeah it's a green shirt oh okay so you're aware of it it's covered that's right carl he puts your fucking merch in the dirt where he doesn't literally in the dirt

got your merch in the fucking ground getting dirty and nasty hey love you, baby boy. I love you, dude. Literally in the dirt. Love you. Got your merch in the fucking ground getting dirty and nasty. I do. Hey, love you, kisses. And never forget FTBYLHH. All right. Thanks for watching The Yard, everybody. Appreciate it. Friends. Phil. You guys will never get it.

Fuck the boys. You guys will never get it. You laugh. Hey. Hey. Stick around for the bonus episode where Nick will kiss my

smooth anus. You don't get to finish the whole thing. I guess we'll finish it in the Patreon episode. It's getting worse and worse at this. You know what? Unsubscribe. There's no value. Bye.