The Yard - Ep. 54 - We flew to Australia to record this episode

Episode Date: July 20, 2022

This week, the boys fly 15 hours to Sydney, Australia. Topics include America vs Australia, Andrew Tate, and how Slime is the saltiest mini-golf player of all time.

Shaq? Steven Shackleford. I thought you meant Shaquille O'Neal. I thought he was calling someone who he thought was really funny Shaq. Like the Shaq of opinions? Like Shaq and Kobe? Yeah. Are are you gonna have shit posture the whole day or is that a new thing you're trying out oh my posture being shitty is a new thing i'm like a i'm like a meerkat you're standing up and you look like you're trying to stand up it looks weird i'm sitting up

okay well it looks like you're standing you got me there don't move your chair too much we framed up for that. Sorry, sorry, sorry. He fucking challenged me. I'll stand the whole time. You sit the fuck down. I'll stand the whole time. You look like a stick of bamboo.

Yeah. You look like Wrigley's gum. Yeah. Ignore them. You look like... You guys all have sunglasses on. You look like a toilet brush. Your sweater looked like a tire on your body.

It does feel rough. Like if you did not have an undershirt. Touch it, touch it, touch it. That's what the inside of my intestines looks like. The inside is not like this. Feel the inside. Feel the inside. It does feel rough. Like if you did not have an undershirt. That's what the inside of my intestines looks like. The inside is not like this. Feel the inside. Feel the inside.

It's soft. Oh, so it's like armor. It's nice. Okay, well, hold on. That's not the sweater. Can we shoot you with an Australian gun? You guys are framed perfectly

to Soy Jack at the Sydney Opera House. But you look here. Look at this camera. I like how Nick also made a thug ND filter, which is just gaff tape over the lens. So I've got an ND filter, but then I also have an eyelash

because we've got this flare. So I took the flare out. So that's what you don't learn at film school, pussies. You might learn that. You might learn it because you're all poor. But with that, welcome back to the yard. Welcome to the yard. We're in Australia.

Is that your best? Look, we've been all over the place we've been doing some pretty he's been fucking me up he's been he's been putting me through fuck you fucking my how are wow dude it's been atrocious yeah we definitely hung out with a tricky mac for a whole day that was like meeting that was like a little kid meeting like disney like mickey mouse well you met tricky matt yeah? Yeah. Yeah, we hung out with him. It was awesome. He gave me a beanie. It was insane.

And a CE. He gave us all a beanie. Yeah. And I felt obligated. I was like, I need you to know that I think this is cool, but I can't. I'm not posturing as big of a fan as these other two. Yeah, you haven't listened to Legends of the Sesh. Yeah.

I have listened to Legends of the Sesh. So there's an Australian rapper that we've mentioned on the pod before, Tricky Mac, and also Benny T, the hottest duo out of Australia. Retired. Yeah, retired, unfortunately. Benny T's retired. Tricky Mac, not retired. Better than ever.

But the boys in Australia surprised us meeting him, and I basically hung out with him all night. We went to Crown's Casino together. We got dinner, et cetera. And we're walking, and I'm asking him so many questions that I only have this chance to.

I'm just like, so what's your mom think? I'm just asking him all these questions. He's like, yeah, so my mom hates it. And then one day

on Mother's Day, I got her Legends of the Sesh. So I gave her the CD. That's really fucking funny. And she never listens to the music, but this time she did. And she messages me

and she's like, does Benny T really have a horse dick? No way. And he's like, oh, fuck. Bob shit tats and bad acne, that's me. Yeah. Damn. I guess sometimes when you drop gold, even parents have to respect it.

Yeah. Son, this is fire. That was good. Yeah, I know. I'm good at it, bro. I'm good at accents. No, I don't want to get you confident. The Connor episode proves.

Reel him back in. The Connor episode proves. Reel him back in. The Connor episode was a problem. You know, one of the most annoying things you've ever done? No. I have a litany of them, but specifically, you get really mad at YouTube comments, and you're like, you piece of shit, and you'll reply to them all day. You used a YouTube comment as evidence that you were right against me about the illusion

argument from last week. Yes, because... Which is so dumb. It's a random user note. No, it wasn't random. It wasn't random. They agreed with me. Their name was Anchor Alan Poe,

and their pop-up picture was the raven. No, no, no. They're really smart. They had the Vincent Van Gogh skull smoking weed. The name of the account was Hobby Technology. Okay, you know what? You didn't say that. This guy's clearly into gizmos.

So he's into gizmos, gadgets, icons. Why does a gizmo gadget guy know about English? Because that's the gizmos and gadgets of our tongue. The most gizmo gadgety people are Japanese people, and they don't know shit about English. Okay, that's racist. You can't say that. That is a racist thing to say.

It's not racist. What about MKBHD? He's not Japanese. You're telling me you meet a Japanese? He's into gizmos? Gadgets? You meet a Japanese. You're telling me you meet a Japanese? He's into gizmos. Gadgets. I wouldn't assume. You meet a Japanese man

and you go, hey, I hear you're a gizmo gadget type guy. That's chill. Dude, I did do something racist this week. Time for Ludwig. The three gizmo gadget guys,

fucking your old roommate, MKBHD, and like Japanese people collectively. The entire population. What did you do that was racist racist Ludwig? I was playing GeoGuessr

with Sykuno and we were in a nondescript Asian country that we weren't sure if it was Japan or Taiwan and I was like, Sykuno, you probably know this.

No. But I meant it. I meant it. I meant it. I meant it. Unreal. But I meant it. But I meant it because

I'm racist. No, I meant it because I was like, you watch anime. It was what my thoughts were. I don't think that's true. I don't think that's what your thoughts were. My thoughts were not. No, I just don't believe you have thoughts. Well, I also did that.

What did Saikuno say? He was like, Ludwig? Are you saying because I'm Asian? Oh, my God, Ludwig. I had to backtrack. Ludwig, I'm Asian. Ludwig. He is just like Morty. He's the Morty of YouTube streaming. Oh, my God, I had to backtrack. Oh, Rick. He is just like Morty.

He's the Morty of YouTube streaming. Oh my God. He's a little less panicked Morty. Uh, yeah. He's like if Morty was hot. What? Like,

you know what I mean? Morty's a kid. I know, but like what I'm saying is, it's like Uno is a sex icon. To be clear, the kid isn't hot. I want to make that clear.

There are no hot kids in the show that the cartoon uh child in that show for for for neckbeards is not hot and i will stand on that thank you yeah thank you everyone it's honestly pretty brave because like similarly aged children in anime are considered hot by people i know it's gross that's why that's why i worded that like i think it's yeah no it's other people you're like, it's gross. That's why I worded that like I think it, but no, it's other people. You're like, dude, there's totally people who think this. You're like, you don't understand. It's because canonically, they're

you know, hundreds. Even if they're not canonically hundreds, bro. Do you look up Sakura Hentai? She's 13, canon. No, a thousand years. A thousand years. There's a Sakura Street Fighter? No, she's still in a schoolgirl outfit, and then she does shoryuken naruto yeah you talking about naruto i'm talking naruto i feel like there's so many

characters named sakura across so many things well it just is cherry blossom in japanese so it's kind of like a gimme word okay i wanted to uh i wanted to look at so atrioc got a little bit lit up because he did a video on uh el. And what is really fun about Elon Musk being mentioned on YouTube is all the little shitters that come out. He's got fans, bro. I'm like creepers. They spawn in there like, no, bro, you're stupid, dude. And it was just really funny because he was catching strays. I guess they're like no life Andes. Of course, my mom walks into my room as soon as HRX starts talking about Elon Musk having sex. You know what? Maybe I should watch his content.

Yeah, we're driving on the way here and Slime is just being world's most dangerous hater towards H-R-E-X. Yeah, I'm FBI's most wanted hater. And he's just like, I fucking hate that guy. Fucking content. Fucking hate this guy. And I'm like, have you ever watched Marketing Monday? He's like, no. Yeah. And I'm like, bro, you know him. Yeah.

Which is crazy crazy here's why if you think about if you think about the content that you consume and makes you happiest marketing monday is for you it's close up the alley and then hold on no you're actually not ready yet yeah we're also still in the uber and he goes like me squeaks or whatever and like i start laughing i'm like that is funny and he goes it's only funny because i deliver it right he's also he's also doing a triac impression. He's our friend that you shouldn't be a hater towards because he has his own slew of haters I'm not a hater. That's you just said you're a truck's number one FBI's most wanted

Does not strike me as a creator who has a lot of haters online not a lot But he certainly has some like there's the mischief scandal and then the Elon Musk scandal He said that EE cheating on school for 50K is not a big deal. And he said it's phony. And then Mizkif... Mizkif got pissed at that. Mizkif got pissed

and then Mizkif viewers were also pissed. Mizkif kind of deserves that, huh? Deserves what? Someone cheating on a show. I have no opinion on that. You don't deserve it. I think... I'll be brave.

It's 50K. Cheating for 50K. This is already I think the, I'll be brave. It's 50K. Cheating for 50K. This is already covered. Yeah, we don't need to go back to this. basically was like, I fucking, I put a lot of time and effort

to not have cheating and not, and like have a good show and then it gets kind of shit on. Dude, I think the problem, the problem with that is H-Rock in his head,

he sees 50 grand and he's like, yeah, that's like two Nvidia stocks. That's like no big deal to him. That's why I don't like H-Rock, bro. He's my friend,

I love him. I saw EE for the first time since like the whole cheating thing and i made like a couple mogul mails about it at alfred's beer pong event and i'm looking at him i'm like how do i approach this before i can even think about it like minute one in the building he's like not gonna say hi to me and i was like oh yeah you're already in a spot i was like he's such a clout goblin i was gonna say hi what's up he was like uh when miskip was like yeah he basically begged me at the streamer awards to like let me on the show I was like I bet he did like I don't know

man dude honestly I've been over that shit that's in oceans one if I ever seen it oceans one set up a cheat scam on episode one get to the final set up another cheat scam oceans e yeah oceans e baby guys the goat. Anyway. Can we, real quick, we're in this country, if you want to call it that. You want to call it that. And we're salty because we have the airing of grievances right now. Listen to us. No Wi-Fi in the Airbnb, okay? How do you live like this, all right?

Yeah. We're supposed to be better. We're supposed to be civilized. In the downtown of Sydney. Very expensive. We show up and I say hi can you give me the

Wi-Fi password. And they said the Internet is not ready. Said it in an accent. Like a pizza. Like they're making a pizza for us. I can't even watch.

They put slash Oz at the end of the message. I can't even watch Wendover as I try to fall asleep in our freezing apartment. It's a shame. Fucked up. I can't even watch Wendover as I try to fall asleep in our freezing apartment. It's a shame. Fucked up.

I'm like you now. I'm the princess. I was in bed last night and I was like, I don't have internet and I was just watching downloaded episodes of Big Mouth

in my fucking single bed. Aiden is watching downloaded episodes of Big Mouth on the plane here and just laughing out loud on the plane. I was just like,

there's just no way this show is that funny. I be honest it's it's probably the show that makes me audibly laugh the most really yeah i love hearing you laugh i mean to be fair though slime could just be there and be like and then you'll like almost be bursting every other podcast yeah so i think with media like with when i'm alone it, it's definitely a bit harder, right? Because there's no social aspect to it. You're a cheap laugh. It's not worth much. All right.

Well, I'm not fucking. You're an extremely cheap laugh. Dude, remember the you laugh, you lose? You're a dime a dozen whore. You laughed at that, bro. Yeah. When we travel together, you spend all weekend fucking the whore. Yeah, because you just want to get.

Yeah, you do. All right. You do dig him out. I'm in a new country. I'm going to my whore. I'm not trying to find... I got to speak a new language. I got to figure out jokes that are with the times.

Why when the well is so full of water? The well is so full. The well is so full. I'm ready to bust at any moment. Just a little tickle. Even Nick Kroll and the boys are getting their piece. You're like Veruca Salt. Yeah, Nick Kroll made the show.

You're like Veruca Salt being rolled around, and you're a big berry full of Laffy juice You're like Veruca Salt. Yeah, Nick Kroll made the show. You're like Veruca Salt being rolled around and you're a big berry full of Laffy juice. Who's Veruca Salt? Veruca Salt. Who is Veruca Salt? He's Veruca Salt. You didn't watch Mr. Beast's Willy Wonka video? Did he not turn someone into a giant blueberry? Yeah, that's where that started

was the Mr. Beast's Willy Wonka video. It's the girl. Yeah, it's from the Mr. Beast video. Dude, there's unironically It's the girl. It's from the Mr. Beast video. Dude, there's unironically... There's been a whole movie about that. There's probably a million human beings on this earth who think that Willy Wonka came from Mr. Beast. Dude, well, did I tell you what happened with Myth? No.

You know how Myth does impressions? No. I was like, here's the Jerry Seinfeld. Classic. An easy one to do. Thought it'd be a layup for him. He goes, I don't know how to do that. Wow, he's too young

and then i and then i said this i thought about it for a while i go okay give me the b from the b movie i shit you not no top five jerry seinfeld i've ever heard i'm not fucking with you he jumps right into it oh it's the big deal and he's doing the whole jerry wow and i'm like that's the same guy that is he's just embarrassed like a young that's insane good i love it's funny because he has the position because i deal with this a lot of the young person always being like yeah i don't give a shit boomer idiot but the fact that he got embarrassed is he shouldn't have done he didn't have to do that he was just he was like stunned that like shook that he knew he could do it but didn't know what it was dude myth at uh at your birthday party he was like he's pretty drunk he's like hey do you want

to see me shotgun a beer you should be a video of me shotgunning a beer i'm the best to ever do it i'm like i would love to see that and and i watched this video and it's him and he's like half of it and then he's like he like can't finish it and he looks like he like ate a sour warhead he's just like he's like that's the worst time of his life it was his first shotgun ever that's crazy i'm like you're really good at this he's like you really are the goat it's really he so like he opened it and it's on the side and just pours out and you're like come on come on and he's like oh okay but then he just stops drink look that's what you get when you get a streamer who was successful before college He's adorable. He's like a teddy bear with his

His life with his streamer friends like now like him going out to these events and things this is his college equivalent Yeah, I guess that's so gross. He's old though old man like he's talking about He's 21 in terms of his soul Aiden fucking idiot an old soul. I don't think he has an old soul He does no I don't is that what you say about sakura i don't think he's got an old soul he's got he's like he's like i remember when building was still in the game that's funny bro what he said he said is that what you say about sakura from maruto yeah yeah yeah i used to jerk off to that a lot hey welcome back in the day welcome to to the Aiden Friedland Show. Yeah, yeah.

Welcome back to the Aiden Friedland Show. I went on Trash Taste. That was like a segment. What? So, what do you jerk off to? Oh, yeah. It's like Gart. And I was like, uh.

You're like Nami. You should know this. I've said it 900 times. Well, Nami's more of a meme. I don't really. Well, you used to. You strike me as somebody who doesn't beat anymore. I don't beat much.

You seem like you're over beating. I'm not a beat guy. I'm hitting the fucking DDR pad in there, bro. I'm seeing arrows on the shit. I'm playing guilty here how much I beat, bro. Although I was nervous, I damn near camed myself on the plane over here. You damn near camed yourself? Why do you want to talk about that?

But you were in business class. You have like a little cum jar. Just go wank one out in Delta One. The chill thing in Delta One is that she actually comes over, the flight attendant, and they hold the jar out for you. It's really chill. That's a lawsuit. It's not a lawsuit. That's a top tier service.

That's a $250,000 settlement, actually. It's on the menu. No, not on a commercial flight. They do enemas, too. The Qantas sock. Hello, welcome to Flying Qantas. Under your seat, you'll find a sock

to come inside of. Thank you for Flying Qantas. Please put the sock on you before your children. They had that little, they had that little, like, Qantas, they had the little

Qantas amenities bag. I'm looking through it, I'm like, oh, they got a toothbrush in there, a sleeping mask, oh, cum sock. Yeah, but they called it like,

they called it like a moory moot or something. Yeah, yeah. Do you want a Murray Mutt or something. Do you want takeaway for your Murray Mutt? You know what I thought was really funny was at the beginning of the flight, they roll, or at the beginning of every movie you watch, you watch this little like Qantas Spirit of Australia video. They do like a trailer for their own airline that you're on. Yeah, and they're like singing a song.

I'm a Qantas fan. The first person singing, great airline, by the way, but person singing at the beginning of the video is Troy Savant, who isn't Australian, for one. Who is Troy Savant? He's like this,

he used to do YouTube. He became like a singer. I've heard of him, yeah. He's like a very, just a gay icon. Okay. And Troy was in LA recently or maybe lives in la like part-time

welcome to your line phil who styled ludwig for mogul money live yeah had apparently confirmed that troy had a real active hinge account and spent the entirety of his trip in la attempting to match with choice of playing gay pokemon go yeah you're playing like minecraft fishing i mean you gotta you gotta be like top shelf, right? Like Troy definitely gets to pick. I think Troy's gonna pick. Phil looks great though. I think Phil can make it happen.

I went shopping with Phil that week at like an open, fucking open, I wanted to say open air market. Like we were looking for meat. Yeah, Aiden went to a mall. He's trying to figure out what they call it. You go to the dirt mall? We went to Melrose

Which is outdoor No, I'm cuz I'm having a conversation and you're you're starting a new conversation you interrupt me then what is able your hand You're doing this. It's more important. Hold on, everybody. I'm blocking you. Don't let me get your attention. Oh, it's over there. Hey, kids. Are you jingling the keys? Sydney Opera House. All right, go ahead. Tell your dumb monster.

We're walking around Melrose Trading Post, and this is it. Phil is the person who styled you, right? Yes. Has a sense of fashion. Very stylish. He picked those shoes that you're wearing right now. He did pick these shoes. Which he spilled coffee on.

He wouldn't have probably picked the rest of the outfit to go with it, I would imagine. My outfit kind of bangs. Phil, you could confirm or not. My outfit kind of bangs. But I've never confirm or not. My outfit kind of bangs. But I've never walked around with somebody who's gotten so many compliments from strangers in such a short period of time. Especially a man. I had this thought walking here, because I'm like a 15-minute walk from my hotel to this

place where we're recording, and everyone is very stylish, and all the guys don't wear socks. And I'm like, why are they so much more fashionable? Dude, Melbourne was crazy. They just go. Everyone was just hot and stylish. Was it? Yes.

In downtown, it was crazy. This is just places that aren't America. We live in LA, bro. And there's only like two fits for straight people. It's like you look like a frat guy or you just look like whatever slime looks like. No, no. He does not dress like LA people.

You're either homeless or you're in a frat. Yeah, pretty much. And then it's like Phil and the fabulous gay community. They look nice, but all the fucking straighties looking like shit. That's our problem. We just don't have any sauce. We have straighties. They're short skinny jeans, bro.

We just don't have any sort of cultural impact that matters. But straight people here do. Unless they're all gay.. Unless they're all gay. No, they're all gay. Everyone from Australia is a gay man. We invented dying by bullet in the brain. That's true. That's pretty tight.

That's pretty fucking hype. I was like, we were making jokes. I was like, yeah, I got spaghetti at the spaghetti store the other night. Because I was like, we went and got coffee. And I was like, oh, they have spaghetti here. Yeah, so I ordered spaghetti last night at like fucking 9 p.m. Yeah. Sorry, that sounds normal.

That's super normal. At a coffee shop. That's tight. You ordered coffee shop spaghetti. He's just slopping it up. And he's like, we were kind of in a rush, and he's like, don't worry, I'm going to order. I'm going to eat really fast. And then I see what he gets.

He orders a fucking plate of spaghetti, and he's just eating like as fast as you can eat an entire plate of spaghetti. I'm like, you have a minimum of 40 bites right now. Yan saw me. Yan stared into the eyes of God. You carbo-loaded for today. That's like me in the five minutes before a pod when I'm wolfing down my Cafe Rio. Yeah, when you're sweating and

I wish I was there for it so I could call you chubby little boy. Yeah, but I was, no, I was graceful. I was like a swan. Was he graceful? Yan, was I a swan? Yan, Yan just, by the recounting of the podcast he just exists to see you in the in your lowest moments i was joking that yan has explored my body more than any woman ever you're not joking that is true yeah he's just war-hearted even lana didn't have to look directly into the the sour same with archie yeah well i think archie

archie had it good because he could put a mask and then just like, the angle was the same, right? So he just didn't have to see it. He just had to hide one butt and then go away from it. Yan had to not to look away. To be fair, Yan was in the room and could look away. No, I told him not to. Yan could look at like war-torn

footage. He could look at like beheadings, one man one jar. He'll feel nothing after that. Yeah, I would rather watch a beheading than a video of the inside of your asshole wow that's hurtful i feel like we can use our words in different ways the thing is like when i hear the sounds that come out of your asshole it makes me it's different now describe it different i've been describing it the past week it sounds like a cauldron yeah it sounds like a cartoon where like bugs bunny is in a big pot and they're chopping up carrots to cook him to like tuba no it's more like it's more like an underwater like like system of of pipes yeah it sounds like playing mage and gauntlet legends and you like

cast a spell yeah it's like it's like tom and jerry. It's really gross. And it also, I took a dump. I took a dump in the Airbnb. And it's like, the toilet here. No, no, no, no. Our friend Sam is. I fed the toilet's mouth earlier. I fed the toilet breakfast. And Sam.

Shout out to Papa. And Sam, who was staying with us that night. He's our buddy. He's from New Zealand slash the UK. Anyway, he's staying with us and I opened the door and I was just grunting and screaming. I was just mostly hamming it up for the boys, but I was

trying to push out some real work. That's dangerous, by the way. I just explained to you that it's not for the boys and it won't be ever. I was in my bed and I heard him screaming from the bathroom. You know what? It's for you. I do do it at home, too. It's a very selfish endeavor regardless. When you do it when you're alone at your house? Yeah, I make big noises for you. It's for you. I do do it at home, too. It's a very selfish endeavor regardless. You do it when you're alone at your house? Yeah, I make big noises for fun.

Yeah, is that just so you feel like more people are there? I just like making noises. That is true. Someone in the comments the other day was like, Slime does things for the studio audience, but Jerma does things for the studio audience when no one's there, and it's like, mm-mm-mm-mm. No.

No, me and J german are the same actually no you're not you're so much different you're so much different i see i see you dump me german the same german probably makes sounds when he poops you and i and sam i want to bring back the idea we finally put some fucking value to your ass we we we make the fart nfts they're free for everyone in the patreon and you fart like a hundred times into a microphone and people can own a unique one. Yeah. I mean, the NFT wave is over, so maybe it's better to do it now. Move on, old man. Here's the thing. Keep it going. Sam what? I take this dump. Sam walks by and I'm like, get this in ya. And he was like, you know, smell my shit. Smell what I did in here. And Sam smells it and he's like, oh, he's like, I've never smelled that before.

He's like, this is alien. Is this normal for you? And I'm like, yeah. He's like, I don't think, I don't think we do it like this. And I was like, yeah, that's right, bitch. Don't take pride in that. Heard this whole conversation from my little single bed that I'm sleeping in. Watching Big Mouth.

Watching Big Mouth. Just giggling your ass off. Don't know what to giggle at these days, huh? But I had an apropos as well before my ass started becoming a center topic, but whatever. That's like a poem or? It ain't matter. Yeah, what does that mean? Apropos, Ludwig, is... Not an English major moment, by the way, because it's a Latin word.

Is it? I don't fuck with that language. You don't fuck with Latin? I don't fuck with Latin, straight up. I think that's honorable and true. So, well done. What does it mean? It means like in relation to. Apropos of the Eamon Friedland show. Right.

You know. You were talking about your poopy butt. Okay, yeah. So, flight over here. Flight over real quick. Only story I have is flight over here. I flew business. It's great.

Well, I just. What I did is I immediately went to bed. Like I had my meals. I ate my food. And I asked the guy, I was like, hey, why should I go to bed? He's like, just sleep as much as you can. Like the flight attendant. I was like, all right, cool. So I tried to go to bed.

That's so unhelpful. I think it was terrible advice. He's not his fucking life coach. What a dumb fucking question. No, it's a normal question. It shows you the time on your flight, you dumb piece of shit. Yeah, but they are literally people who fly from point A to point B. It's about the passenger, not the plane.

Why are you saying things when you haven't seen the movie because it's such a dipshit thing to ask a flight attendant i'm gonna interject i'm gonna interject slime is wearing a top gun hat this is probably the only time he gets to set precedent about planes he's never seen the movie i've seen the first one not maverick and that's what they say it's about the pilot movie he hasn't seen this is so invalid i've seen the first one i've seen the first one If you've seen The Maverick You've seen the first No That's Yeah actually that is true If you've seen either

Of the two movies You've seen the other Well no Cause Maverick's different And earned double In the box office Also Val Kilmer Is the most handsome man

From the 80s Accounting for inflation No for real shit Would not look at him The same I know he's different now That's how you'll look soon Well

That's how you'll look Hopefully not I hope you don't look like that Tummy bear. Look, I'm fit. Oh, my God. Hey, expand it for me. Give me one time.

One time. It's rippling like water. Put it out. Put it out. No, no, no. Put it out. Come on. Put it out.

No. What about that little guy? You want to see my penis right now? Yeah. No, we're in public. We miss you. Dude, that doesn't mean let me see your penis. You can push in your chair.

We have been missing you, though. Anyway, I'm on the damn flight. I asked the flight attendant, why don't you sleep? He says, sleep as much as you can. Anyway, I'm on the damn flight. I asked the flight attendant why she's sleeping. She's coming with your head off. I sleep. Hey, I'm tired of these snakes on this goddamn plane. Please, please finish the story.

Hour two. Hour two, Aiden. Hour two. Aiden, you're the only one left. You are the only one. What are you? You were whipping? No, I'm coming. Not you, obviously.

You don't know how to. Talk to Aiden. He's the flight attendant. I got to keep that camera. Don't laugh. I thought I had you. I got to keep that camera. When did I lose coming. Not you. Obviously. You don't know how to talk to Aiden. He's the flight attendant. I gotta keep that camera. Don't laugh. I thought I had you. I gotta keep that camera entertained. When did I lose you? Are you laughing at the wig? Who is that? Who is that in this example?

Uh, that's me beating off Anthony. Okay. No, that's the Delta One flight attendant being like, Sir, you need to stop coming. We can't. I only have you left. I wish I was a flight attendant jerking people off, dude. I'm on the flight I'm sleeping It's a sick bed

It's flat I lie down As I'm sleeping I start to have terrible nightmares That the plane is going down And I overhear these Australian nerved voices That are like

It's going to be a rough patch ahead Might need to go down a bit and i'm like i'm like oh fuck and like and i keep waking up because like i'm having this nightmare that i'm about to crash every time and i'm never really scared of planes usually and it's making it really hard to sleep and then i i finally wake up for long enough and i realize that they're just saying this out loud but i am the first seat on the plane so i'm right next to them the pilots you mean the the flight attendants. They're literally talking and saying these things in the real world.

They're like, there's a huge rough patch. But it's translating to your dream? Yeah. And I wasn't sure, but I talked to Cutie. She checked. We went from like 700 miles per hour to like 300 and like quickly ascended and descended. Oh, she had a rough one. To avoid, yeah.

But it was filtering in my dreams, and I was losing it. I was dying several times. That's really scary. It's probably better than if you were sleeping. Maybe. Cutie checking the flight stats as you go through it is very funny. It's very cute. She'll be like, she's actually like a fucking air traffic controller.

She's like, okay, so you're going to be taking this one. This is Cutie to Houston. Yeah. Durs just peed again. Can you tell Ludwig? She's like checking the stats on her computer and then she sends like an SOS to Austin who has to like hard confirm whether or not these details

are accurate. She's like Austin with none of the technical knowledge. Yeah. Just the same concern. God bless her she's trying. Yeah. True. Do you see Austin's stream? Yeah. So sick. One of the greatest streams of all time. It was so cool. We should do that. Well the thing is he knows what he's doing.

And we would just be like, Hassan. He's played so much Microsoft Sim that he's actually... You know how to fly a plane. Yeah. I think it's pretty easy. I watch two pilots do it. I can do it. It's car, but airtime. It's genetic.

It's obviously not genetic. I get behind the... You put me behind the wheel of a Boeing, and I just... Aiden's like, what is this steering apparatus? You put me in an Airbus, and it's over. I will crash. It's got to be American. But the Boeing is fine. It's got to be American made. Well, it's not about the... No, it's over. I will crash. It's got to be American. But the Boeing is fine.

It's got to be American made. Well, it's not about the... No, it's not about that. Well, it's not about the pilot. The Airbus is... It's about the... It's about the plane. It's about the Airbus.

It's about the plane. They got full beds in that shit. I would love to fly in a Cessna with you. No, we have this idea. We have this idea that we want to podcast... We'll try to make it happen, but we want to podcast with Aiden's dad in a plane. Yo, on the plane wings.

Because somebody found a route for us that is a straight shot. Literally a straight shot. Where to where? It's actually near New Hampshire. I think one of the airports is in New Hampshire. And it's these two smaller airports. You can straight shot between them. We'll commission my dad to fly us in a small plane

and we'll record a podcast during the flight that'd be tight yeah that's the idea i'm down to record with your dad i want to meet him first speaking of flying met your mom already and shit yeah well no you did it you didn't meet her come on because i didn't give her your phone number stop she's a great delta one flight attendant though she's a nurse yeah she did nurse you back to health. She nursed you something. No, dude.

She's... Give me that. I'm so sorry. No. Wait. What was I going to fucking say? Check it out, Mrs. McCaig. God damn it.

What did she say, dude? Did she watch it? No, no, no, no. Not yet. Not yet. I texted... Not yet. Well, she will. Why? No. She, no, no. Not yet. Not yet. I texted. Not yet. Well, she will.

Why? No. She watches a lot of the pods. Just tell her to skip one. I text my mom a picture of where we're at, like right before we're starting. I text your mom a picture. And she says, she says, cool. Is that the Sydney Opera Center?

Yeah, it's fine. Is it not? She's old. You're roasting your verruzzling house? Yeah. We're not going to sit here and roast your beautiful, beautiful mother. After all the times we've shared.

You know how mad I would be if I said that to you, like excited to share something with you and you were like, it's the house, you fucking idiot. Is that the Schneifel Tower? No. I feel like it's different. It's like calling it the Eiffel Building, which is close enough. The Eiffel Building? The Eiffel Building? Yeah's like calling the Eiffel building, which is close enough.

The Eiffel building? Well, that is fucking stupid, though. Yeah, and somebody said the Eiffel building. Is that the Eiffel house? At least she kind of recognized it. Roscoe's chicken and Eiffels. That is fucking insane. Dude, one of my favorite bits is like

turning to Aiden and quietly, gently, and sternly going, I would do anything for her. And he knows who I'm talking about. You've been firing off lately about that. I've been firing shit. I haven't been firing shit off. I'm just telling you the truth. You did a whole segment where you went, regarding his mom. Yeah, but that was different. No, that was a whole

that turned into a segment. I was making fun of you for not being able to control your balls. It's a bit of firing. Where the cum is stored. It's like at least a BB-1's worth. Is cum stored in the balls? It's pee a segment. I was making fun of you for not being able to control your balls. It's a bit of firing. Where the cum is stored. It's like at least a BB-1's worth. That's weird. Is cum stored in the balls? That's pee. Yes.

No. Cum's not stored in the balls, is it? You know when you drink pee? No, no, it's stored. We actually talked to a scientist yesterday. We learned this. There's no way cum is stored in the balls. Okay, hold on.

So when you drink, you know when you drink piss? Yeah. So when you drink piss, your body knows, kind of like how medicine, like when you get Advil, it knows where the pain is So the pee just goes directly to the balls. It skips all of the inside just goes right to the balls And it gets like Veruca salt. Yeah, so if you drink pee you pee it out like instant. It's like vitamin C It's like a yellow Veruca salt. I know you just fucked with me but cum is definitely not sort of the balls. Cum is No, that's what that's what your balls are for. No,, I think my balls shrivel to a girl like a brazen

Okay, you're saying no your balls. Will you not balls are not just a single thing? There's a bunch of parts to your balls and they make the different parts that make you women We don't know about our shit either. So don't get mad Shrivel up what if a cup is full of water you dump it out is the cup shriveled up my balls are things can store things Oh, that's actually fair. No, the balls are the cup. No, Aiden. Aiden, no. What are you doing? Come on. Aiden, take it. It's so loud. Come on, sweetheart. Come on. The balls are the cup

of the guy. And I've always said that. The balls are the cup of the guy. No, I actually... I didn't ignore it. The balls are the dick of the butt. That's true. That is... I did read that in a textbook once. Yeah, your balls are your butt's dick that was that was in the scholastic and it was like gulliver's travels and teach about ratios your

butt's dick is your butthole because that's where the peak what's up trash what is wrong with you we have no more you know my favorite bit is these days actually it always is is people linking like pictures of like beautiful breathtaking images from space before the telescope that got built or whatever and me and like the idea that like this is gay no one cares like it's so funny to me he's just looking at pictures of space or just like on twitter be like look at this breathtaking picture of like space that i found and just being like who cares who asks so you do that to people? I think it's really funny. It's mean. It's not mean. People are into it right now.

It's more like... So it's like they're passionate about this thing. No, no, no. People like stuff and you just go, that is bad and lame. There's two things that are happening. The juxtaposition of it being truly the most gorgeous and impressive feat of man to document the stars and being like, who cares? That's funny to me as a joke, but also the idea

that people feel like they need to share it like they found out about space. It pisses me off. You're just old. You're just old. No, I think normal old people

care about space. That's it. No, normal old people. No. I'm diseased. You're just a bitter old man. The segments in this episode right now are like

if you took chunks of quotes and gave it to like a child at a table and they just rearranged the blocks into like the yard that's a good idea what is it nick fridge magnets he's saying it's not a secret but they have all kinds of stuff in them like you were the same oh god it's so weird it's so funny because this is one of the rare moments where the viewers can hear what anthony's saying but we... You don't like it. You're my good little boy now.

Now you're my for once, you're my boy. Anthony, I said fridge magnets like a week ago. What? So we... Really? While we were in Melbourne... Melbourne, please. Melbourne.

Hold on. Melbourne. I want to make my stance on this. Melbourne. Melbourne is how people say it with an Australian accent. Melbourne. Melbourne. Melbourne. Hey, look, I'm the Matrix. It's. Melbourne is how people say it with an Australian accent. Melbourne. Melbourne. Melbourne.

Hey, look, I'm the Matrix. It's like how an American would say it. And then the incorrect pronunciation is Melbourne. To town. I think that's how it works. I think, dude, you got to stop. What is happening? What is wrong with you today?

He's just in need of attention. Have you guys not been giving him enough? No, dude. Anyway, you know what? You want me? He's pissing me off. No, everyone, hey, sit down. Take your seat. Please sit down. Okay, so he's been pissing me off. You want to him enough? No, dude. Actually, you know what? You want me? He's pissing me off. Everyone, hey, sit down. Take your seat.

Please sit down. Okay, so he's been pissing me off. You want to know why? Yeah, please. So this morning, I fucking wake up, right? Actually, no. Let's rewind a little more. Last night, we were in the Airbnb.

What is that? A rewinding. Don't get in. Dude, I like that. Real quick. The boys, the Kalen and them, they have this new bit where they act like Donnie from the Wild Thornberries when they're really stressed. That's the Mizkip, actually.

Leffen dropping from the tournament after us ponying up for that fight. Kalen just like, but he actually has like a, what do you call it, a toga on. Was it the Yard that paid for that? No, it was you, dude. No, he just tagged the Yard. It was really funny. That was funny, yeah, because it was all Ludwig's money. You're part of the yarn.

Yeah, but I want 100% credit on 25. He should have got the credit. He was talking to Slime because Slime had to handle it, so he's like, oh, it's the yard, but it was Ludwig's money. Did he explain to you

why you had to drop it? Why he didn't have a visa and it was like a three-day thing? I just saw his tweet. He didn't even DM me. It's not a three-day thing. Yeah, he was at the Cringe compilation store

and he bought everything. Dude, the visa is instantly approved. Is it the same one we have? Yeah. The same Visa, dude. I don't know. Mine got approved in 10 minutes. Maybe he just took a while to get approved because he's weird and Swedish.

Swedes maybe don't have a powerful passport like us. We have a very powerful passport. They have a better passport. Can I jump into why I hate slime? Please circle back. He's got to air some grievances. I have to defend myself. Yeah, so we're not going to listen to him after.

Let's skip the defense part. Last night. Counsel. Counsel. Do like a herd trial. Last night. I got high on the X-Bite. Last night, Airbnb was very cold, okay?

And I go downstairs and I'm like, this bitch is cold. And we watched Shots and Lambs together. It was fun. So we did. It was fun. We watched Shots and Lambs together. And then the part where they put lotion on his skin. We were like.

Hello. Bostic. Yeah. fun we watched islands and lambs together and then the part where they put lotion on the skin we were like uh yeah so so i'm like it's cold in this bitch and slime's like i'm not cold and i'm like cool i'm gonna take the space heater out of this room so i take the space heater i bring it upstairs where i'm sleeping and then i use it to sleep now and so i was warm and then i wake up uh well before before i go to bed He tries to scare me I did By coming up like a Like Slenderman In his underwear And he just walks in And he goes hello

His back was like turned And I just turn around I'm like what's up And he's like Did I not scare you I'm like no I also don't think Nick would admit

If he was scared Well no You can't hide If you get scared Like I was just like Ha ha But like you can get like

No he didn't even do that Okay That would scare me It was like when The ball comes to Kobe's face You can't hide if you get scared. I was just like, ha ha. You can get like... No, he didn't even do that. It was like when the ball comes to Kobe's face. That's why I had to ask. Also, no one asked. Everything scares you. That's true. Everything scares you and makes you laugh. You fucking flinch, you pussy. I have nothing on my hands.

Anyway, so I sleep with the space heater, alright? I'm fucking warm. It's great. I'm warm. It's great. I wake up in the morning. I come downstairs, and Slime is- Stop. That's so loud.

No, it's so loud, Aiden. RG's not going to meet you. I come downstairs, and Slime's like, it's cold. I'm freezing. This place is so cold. And I'm like, yeah, man. You said it wasn't cold. I took the space heater, so fuck off.

Well, maybe he was not cold because of the space heater. No, it was off. It wasn't on. It was off. So for some reason, I wasn't cold at night when we watched Silence of so fuck off. Well, maybe he was not cold because of the space heater. No, it was off. It wasn't on. It was off. So for some reason, I wasn't cold at night when we watched Silence of the Lambs

and it was a great time. We watched with Yan and Nick and then I slept on this fucking couch bed that I could feel the springs poking up at me. Yeah. I had to pee twice.

I had weird dreams where Aiden asked me to have a three-way with him. I don't believe that happened. It really did. It was actually the other way around. You asked him to have a three-way. I was I don't believe that happened. I really did. It was actually the other way around. You asked him to have a three-way.

I was having a dream. I had this weird dream where I really wanted to fuck Aiden, but I wanted a third person I was having a dream where I was having sex with somebody, and then Aiden was out on, like, the patio, and they're like, we should get Aiden in on this. And I was like, I don't really want to do that, but, like, she wants to. You got cucked in your dream. Well, kind of, yeah. It was crazy.

That's awesome. They didn't cuck you in your dream. Yeah, it of. Yeah. They didn't cuck you in your dream. It was really interesting. I wouldn't do that. Anyway, anyway, we're going back to what I was saying. So,

so, so, so slime, so slime is like, I'm cold. I'm cold. I'm like, well,

I'm getting coffee. I'm leaving as I'm, as I'm leaving. He's like, go get me the space heater. I'm like, go get it. Your fucking self.

I'm fucking leaving. He's like, go get me the space heater. Now you go get it for me. Now'm fucking leaving he's like go get me the space heater now you go get it for me now and i'm like fine so i go upstairs please no so i go upstairs i get it i come back down i turn it on and set it up for him he doesn't believe that i know how to use it so he he starts inspecting it and trying to figure out how to actually turn it on it's already on and i'm like it's on i know how to use it because he said the space heater sucks and didn't work when i'm like no that can't be true so I had to

look at it I had to inspect and so I'm like I'm getting coffee do you want coffee he's like do you want to go get coffee he's like no I'm gonna get it with Aiden and I'm like okay so then I leave and when I leave like five minutes of my walk he's like you get me coffee too that's a lot and I'm like go fuck yourself I'm doing

everything I was being a handful you are a handful when I'm cold I'm a handful and then I fucking get back with coffee and I have a bear claw I'm eating it go fuck yourself. I'm doing everything. I was being a handful. You are a handful. When I'm cold, I'm a handful. And then I fucking get back with coffee, and I have a bear claw. I'm eating it. He goes, oh, you didn't give me a pastry, huh? That was a joke. That I knew would piss you off. You can't say that.

No, no, no, no. I knew that would piss him off so much. I didn't really care, but I just wanted to say it to just pile it on because I was already so deep. I don't think I could ever stay with you traveling again. What the fuck? I'm a stay alone type guy. You're the fucking

Queen of England and you need a fucking hotel room and a bed. Last time we took a trip he was like, I don't want to live like a smasher. It's like, kill yourself.

We had a nice time. Huh? We had a nice time, me and you. Yeah, I'll stay with Aiden. And die. I'll stay with Aiden every day of the week. What about me?

I'll stay with Nick. Okay, so just Aiden. It's just Aiden. You know what it was? It was ever since Aiden Lee I was pissed off. Why? Because you didn't want to do anything and I don't't know why, but it made me so resentful.

I was going to say, it's like, it is funny that he was like that, but it doesn't influence the accommodation at all. No. I get overwhelmed, but like- It doesn't change a lot. Yeah, that's fine. Like, I'm saying- I shouldn't look at it.

Ew. I don't do it to hurt you. Yucky, yucky, yucky. I don't do it to hurt you. Yeah. I just's fine but it makes you mad it makes me it makes me sad and mad yeah because I want you to have a good time but I can't this is just sadness repackage this is just how you feel about everything uh no because I believe that people can change how they feel you've also been out and about here can you change being overwhelmed yeah I could put a lot of effort in,

but the thing is, he's never communicated this to me, so now I know. But nobody, okay. You know what I'm saying? You're right, honey. You know what I'm saying? But you're out and about here.

Why are you out and about here? I'm fairly out and about because- Why are you not watching Squid Game 2? Because I think that it's more of a special time. It's like we see Miles, who is like, you know, means a lot to me, and all the boys,

that means a lot to me. You're racist against Italians. When I'm in Italy, it's like our see miles who's like you know means a lot to me and all these all the boys that means a lot to me you're racist and italian when i'm in when i'm in italy it's like our job is to like be tourists which i've said before is like makes me feel kind of gross and stupid so one second one second hold that thought continue yeah and so we are tourists i don't know i look i'm not trying to say i'm right i'm just trying to explain there's a logic to how i feel and that's that's how it goes. There's an easy explanation here and it's that there isn't a new season

of Squid Game to watch while he is here. You could watch James Charles adaptation. No, because Miles is funnier than Squid Game would ever be. Well,

we haven't. All the boys are funny. Dude, you go to the bar with all these Australian guys, at least the friend group. I know that not Australians are fucking goaded at being funny.

I know that. The guy who fucking gave us our coffee was like fucking day one. Like, he was losing his mind. Okay, don't roast that poor guy. Also, not from Australia. What, that guy?

Yeah. He had an accent. He told me he was not from Australia. Oh, he just originally. I don't know. Either way. He said we were having a conversation about where he had moved from. Yeah, but if you don't just turn into, you don't just move here.

I know how to make the best coffee. I get, I get. It's on your visa application. Yeah, but if you if you don't just turn into you don't just move here Do you know how to make a latte it was it was like putting the fucking feather boots on I asked like okay Could I get a latte and then he looked at me like I fucking asked him had to do an equation It was funny because it's like he works at a coffee shop and a slime asked him for like One of the five things that you have to make at it and he was just like i don't know it's great i mean yeah i don't know i don't know i don't know cappuccino fucked his whole day no that might be the funny no that would have been so hype yeah no no no you're all right anyway so but the boys they're really i just want to say they're really

really funny and when i hang out with them it's like it i i'm so much more social because i just feel happy. People being funny around me makes me really happy. So we just need humans. We stayed also, we stayed with Miles' parents. We stayed at their place. Yeah.

And Miles' parents are just so sweet. They're the best. They're so awesome. They're the best. And I think I've never met people who are so old, but so in touch with this industry and esports.

You could have a real conversation with them about everything that we do because they actually understood a lot of things. I personally think they're young, spry, and beautiful, but it's cool to think they're old.

All right. What a fucked up asshole for saying how old they are. It's my bad. Yeah. My bad. They're old. You are my old.

They're older. I'm sorry. They gave birth. Oh. I'm sorry. They gave birth to Miles. I'm with you. Miles, who's closing in on 50. On his way. So he was raised in a nice, loving household? Yeah, they were just so sweet.

Why is he such a dick on the setup? Miles? Back in the day. No, he was never a dick. No, Miles was lame. Miles just thought he was better than everyone. No, no. He chirped. He chirped, and he thought he was never a dick. No, Miles was lame. Miles just thought he was better than everyone. No, no. He chirped.

He chirped, and he thought he was better than everyone. Miles does this fucking thing where when he's playing the game, he's having a conversation. When he dies, he'll just turn and start talking to someone, but the game's still going on, and it's like, no, respect me, please. We'll finish the game. Don't do that. This isn't being a dick.

This is wanting to be social. No, no, no. It's being a dick. I have played more Melee than Miles than anyone here. Yeah, well, I still think it's a dickhead thing. We've cracked a couple BBs on this trip. And we were playing vanilla non-UCF PAL Melee on a GameCube. And they were just talking about how fucking great it was.

And we were just having a blast. It was probably the most fun I've had playing the game in so long. And Miles was like, yeah, sometimes you're just not supposed to get that one. You know? And you gotta accept that. Sometimes the game

just doesn't let you turn around and that's a part of it. Let's go back. Yeah. Forget all this Z-jumping bullshit. And I was just chirping. Maybe we don't need all the boxes

and the memory cards. We just need our friends. Oh yeah. And a couple of VBs. We discovered this is what being wand-pilled is. So people who are wand-pilled

are in support of HBox purely in protest of new box gameplay. Because HBox, he's just been doing the same old thing for the past 10 years. I've been wand-pilled. He's been doing the same old thing. The enemy of the enemy of my enemy of my friend. Yeah, so I'm wand-pilled out the fucking wazoo.

I think puking blood is not a reason to get out of a tournament. Hey, man. I can't believe you apologized, that pussy. I know, I told you he would. Goddamn lip roll. I'm one peeled out the fucking wazoo. I think puking blood is not a reason to get out of a tournament. Hey, man. I can't believe you apologized, that pussy. I know. I told you he would. Goddamn liberals. I'm smart.

I'm socially smart. I'm surprised that he apologized. It's because the liberals drove him. Dude, you guys are stupid as fuck. They drove him. It's true. People could go up to Juan and be like, 2,000 people like, Juan, I can't believe you wore blue today, you piece of shit.

Fuck you. And then he would make an apology because he is purely driven by the opinions of others. Why does Homelander get away with it? Dude, in Australia, we can just yell we hate the libs and everyone's like, oh, yeah. Yeah? Because it's flipped. Because it's flipped here. I do remember oh, is it? Yeah, liberals are conservatives here. Oh, because we're down under.

Yeah, it's like the toilet water spins the other way and also the liberals. So we can still make fun of the libs. It's just for different reasons. We went to the airport in Sydney without showing our boarding pass. Isn't that crazy? Yeah. It was wild. We didn't show our boarding pass until we got to the gate.

But then you showed it there? Yeah. On a plane. I would never experience that. You could just go through security without a boarding pass if you wanted. Sure. Yeah. That is kind of weird.

That's good for standby. Yeah. Yeah. It's good. Well, kind of. that's good for standby yeah yeah it's kind of you know can you fly standby with it with no ticket to any flight i think if you're in you're in no no but but you have it when you fly standby you have a boarding pass yeah yeah that's the way it works and anyway anyways plain talk are you you look like you're getting you look like a baby who's trying to poop you look like you're about to say something you're supposed to fill time you just look like you baby? He's trying to move you look like you're about to say something you're supposed to fill time

They just look like you're gonna see you're sitting there like it. You're you're taught You're kind of look like you're about to grunt which is what babies do when they're pooping I was trying really hard to think oh, I don't think I don't fly standby, but I stand by oh you were trying You went to get to get there is four of us all fucking looked at me. You turned into a statue to get there? There's four of us. Well, just like, I don't fucking... Drive the car for once. You know how I get there? You can quant us on me to get us through this.

I'm going to come with you on the plane. Yo, you hear about the Andrew Tate thing? No. He's the new alt-right pipeline after us. Who's Andrew Tate? Andrew, you don't know this? Are we the beginning of the alt-right pipeline? We are the beginning of the alt-right.

It'd be crazy to go... You listen to us, then you listen the beginning of the yeah you crazy listen to us then you listen to come town then you listen to the Adam Friedland show and then you're just already racist okay yeah it's a quick force of process you realize you actually didn't need all the shows you were just a racist person called the Friedland number like the Armada number yeah

they he went on a podcast or he went on Aiden Ross's stream and if you don't know He's like this He's like this big Fucking He's a fighter right He fights But a kickboxer

Who's on Big Brother He got kicked off Big Brother though Cause he like Beat a woman But she said It was consensual Anyway

Right A consensual It was a consensual beating Like a sexy time Yeah it's like how In Washington Two people can fight Each other to the death

If they both say It's a duel beforehand. Yeah. He dueled the woman. It's like that. It's the same way Hamilton died. Yeah, except it was with like a pistol-loading musket. Exactly. Yeah.

Yeah. You guys need a cross? Oh, you're good? All right. Just want to make sure. So yeah. Anyway. Anyway.

He's like an extremely toxic masculine guy. Yeah. He's like, he's literally like making making young men think about the alpha and sigma dichotomy and how to treat women like carpets and shit. Like the carpets? He's like a bad thing. And Aiden Ross was like, yeah, I'll have this guy on. Aiden Ross was riding him.

Everything he'd say. So it started out, he'd say something like, be like, yeah, I don't drink coffee. I like the sun to give me my energy. And not enough people are going outside. They're like taking pills. And he like says something that's like basic. It's like, yeah, okay.

And then he'd be like, anyway, yeah, I just don't think a woman I'm dating should work. And he'll jump right into that. And I'm like, this guy's a character. But the problem is, I was watching this Aiden Ross' chat. It's like, www. He's at 240k viewers during this. Yeah, it's a lot of viewers. I'm like, what the fuck?

He's hitting eBuy numbers teaching guys how to spit into women's faces on the street. And when I was on the plane, XQC had a stream with him and Aiden Ross. So it was Andrew Tate, XQC, Aiden Ross. I mean, come on. This is peak content these days. And XQC is trying to debate back for women in reasonableness. Yeah.

But he's also XQC doing it. Andrew Tate's like, I got in a car crash five times every time it's a woman driver. You're telling me I'm not supposed to be biased against women. And XQC's like,

dude, that was great. Okay, man. So i get sucked off by one woman all of a sudden i like what oh no and that's like he's like trying to defend women with like flc on the other monitor fl studio on the other monitor making beats again dude we watched we watched like we watched like 30 minutes of the xqc beat stream it That's a good stream, bro. He's like hitting like a piano that's the size of those little baby ones, like making little sounds with it. He's like, oh, that one's just not good. Dude, it's so funny.

He like moves like a piano note, like one, I don't know what it's called, beat, what is it, over? Step. One step over, and then he looks over to chat like, was that good? And like every time he moves it, what it's called. Beat. What is it? Over one step over. And then he looks over to chat. Like, like is that, was that good? And like every time he moves it and it's like, dude,

dude, dude, dude, dude, it looks over and they're like, he's like, dude, dude,

dude, dude, dude, dude. Okay. I'll make a little longer, the longer. Yeah.

They're just, they're just directing where his finger goes on the, it was so good. His chat is his conductor. So why, why is this guy, Andrew Tate, like circulating through Twitch and stuff?

Cause he's not a streamer, right? No, I think it's just cause Aiden Ross kind of put him on. Like he had like a following of sorts because like he was on Big Brother and he's like a kickboxer. Yeah, probably on TikTok. TikTok's where like shit happens now. Does Aiden not challenge him on any of this stuff? No, dude.

Aiden Ross would be like, he's so fucking crazy. He goes, Andrew, will you follow me back on Instagram? And then Andrew's like, all right, well, answer this. Have you ever seen the clown that hides from gay people? And Aiden's like, no. And that was the whole interaction. What? Okay.

It was fucking funny. No, the stream is really funny if you are not an impressionable 15-year-old. Right, exactly. The stream's hilarious. I'm watching it. I'm like, this guy's a fucking character. He's like Alex Jones, but buff. But you're 15 and like Cindy just broke your heart

and you're like, hmm, maybe I will become the evil in this world. W, women are bitches. You're hearing him talk about like women in car crashes and you're like, and you don't even have your driver's license yet. And you're like, yeah, that checks out. Yeah, women do suck at driving. I haven't driven yet and my mom drives me everywhere and she's pretty good, but the other women. All the women, all women are terrible drivers, except checks out. Yeah, women do suck at driving. I haven't driven yet, and my mom drives me everywhere, and she's pretty good, but the other women.

All the women, all women are terrible drivers, except my mom. Except my mom. She's got it. She gets me to soccer practice. She gets me to basketball practice. I'll win our hose,

but my mom's a virgin. No, I didn't make the AAU team this year, but I'll try again next year. My mom's really nice. Yeah, I was reading, the reason I know about this is because I read that LSF thread on it, and I was seeing what next week. Well, that was really nice. Yeah, I was reading, the only reason I know about this is because I read, like, that LSF thread on it,

and I was seeing what the hive mind thought, and they were, you know, they were definitely leaning against Aiden Ross, you know, whatever that means. You know what else

went fucking crazy, Anthony, I said yesterday? This is for you. He said, I fucking love mini golf. Kill yourself. Yeah.

Bro. Do you believe he said that? I can't believe he said that. Is this the last time we played mini golf that one time? I don't think we've ever talked about it on the pod. Oh, no. Your birthday. Your birthday in the backyard.

Yeah. But that barely counts. I don't think we ever talked about it on the pod, right? No, we never talked about it. Yeah, so may I tell the story? Sure. No, you may not. No, I want to hear your version of this.

It's like hearing Alex Jones take on a school shooting. The way we do this is we tell it and you defend yourself. We are unbiased news sources. The golfers that were beating me were paid actors. So we got a big group together. It was like me, Ludwig, Anthony. The Squeaks crew. Yeah, it was like everyone's girlfriends.

It was basically like H-Rock came into town, which was pretty rare back in the day. Already pissing me off. And we don't hang out a lot, so we wanted to do a big group activity. Yeah. And so we find a mini golf place called Boomers, nevertheless. No, no, no. No, it wasn't. No.

It was Boomers. No, it wasn't. We didn't go to Boomers? No. Different one. Well, anyway. It was called Camelot. We go to this mini golf place.

I love mini golf, by the way. Me too. Fuck you. I've never played real golf. Mini golf is fun as fuck. One of us came a lot. Hey. And so we're there.

You didn't ride Delta One. Don't cap. I'm smoking Delta One. We've got a big enough group that we have to split into like two parties. We've got like 12 people, so we've got to go six and six. And it's like my group's like me, Anthony, Atrioc. I think you're in the group as well. Nick's in the group as well.

Neeper. Neep, a couple other people. Kneeper's what tipped me over the edge. And we put money on it. And we put money on it because we like gambling. We like gambling. A couple of Gambo boys. You will win.

I think it was 100 in winner take all. Gamble. All right. They're pretty high stakes. Hole one starts. All right. Hole one, bro. And we go through.

Oh, I know what hole it was. And Anthony hits his ball like first. He's one of the first in the order. And then people are going behind him. And like what happens in mini golf, some of the other people's balls hit Anthony's balls. And mine was extremely close to the hole. Yeah, so he he's probably going to have two strokes, right?

And then someone hits his ball further away. And so he has more. And we created a skunk rule, right? It was like eight. You hit eight and you you stroke out yeah yeah and then you get to add two mad thinking about so anthony's anthony strokes out and what do you you know on some brain dead shit by the way yeah i guess somebody hit his ball but it should have been a two-stroker if you're a four-stroker if you're dumb he went eight strokes and the first hole the first hole of any golf is never hard no so anyway so anthony strokes

out and you know what what what one of us might do if that happens like fuck you guys or oh this sucks anthony calls an uber and goes home yeah he he fucking sits there he goes on his phone we're at hole two of 18 and he's on his phone and we're like what are you doing he's like i'm calling it over i was like what do you mean he's like i'm going home i'm not dealing with it he just fucking leaves and hr barely ever hangs out and he's like he's like grasping he's like oh phone and we're like, what are you doing? He's like, I'm calling an Uber. I was like, what do you mean? He's like, I'm going home. I'm not dealing with this shit. And he just fucking leaves. And HR barely ever hangs out and he's like, he's like grasping.

He's like, oh, we could like, we'll just mulligan like whole one. No, I don't need his fucking pity. We'll pull out the bets.

We'll pull out the bets. No, because that's pity. Fuck that. And you're saying me squeaks all fucking day. Pissing me off. I will never go

mini golfing with you again. That was the most insane thing you've ever done. Why? I was mad. Let me be me. Because your anger gets in the way of the vibe. You cared more about mini golf than hanging out.

My ball got hit and it just wasn't fair. It's the most fair. When things I perceive that aren't fair to me, I get really upset. Bro, the unfair part was not the ball hitting your ball. It was your inability to get it with an eight. Well, then if you're saying that's unfair, then I'm also absolved to go home. You just were gifted by God with those skills. It was actually Nipa that hit my ball because I remember this.

He knocked it and I was like, oh, that sucks. And then I just got screwed on me trying to chip it in and i just was like losing my mind trying to chip it and i was like in minigolf no no no i'm sorry what i meant was like do a tiny putt i i got my terminology wrong and so yeah bro i fucking i got mad and i did uber home and uh didn't believe it too you were calling you like you you're like i'm moving home he's like what is he like that's's crazy. He thought it was a bit. He walked to the Uber and he's like, where is he going? Is he actually?

Yeah, but then I left and you guys had a great time. Yeah. I saved you. Well, we talked about that for seven holes. Yeah, that's fine. It was a dominator. I caught a cool 200 that day. You won?

I won. Yeah. That's not fun. That's pretty crazy. Yeah, it was crazy. Because he didn't even win on our group, which was a tougher group. Isn't that funny? No. Our group was tougher. But I do love mini was cringe because he didn't even win on our group, which was a tougher group. Isn't that funny? No.

Our group was tougher. But I do love mini golf. You wouldn't have made it through our group. You wouldn't have made it through the streets. Same, of course. I'm noticing now

that you're an extremely resentful guy. I never forget and I never forgive. Yeah. It's my big two. I'm learning that. And I appreciate it.

Yeah, I mean, that's the story. I was that mad and then I Ubered home. And then I do think if A-Truck and Stans were funnier, I wouldn't have left. But they weren't. I don't even think Stans was there.

I don't know if Stans was there. That is more psycho. I'm actually pretty sure he wasn't, and if he was, he was on the other group. If A-Truck was funnier, then I would have stayed. I can't tell if you mean this. He means this for sure. What does that mean?

Guys, if you think you're a fan of me, if you think we'd hang out, if you think I'm a good guy, just throw that shit out the window. I'm not a good guy. I'm about to throw that shit out the window. I'm not a fun dude, all right? Get that shit out of your head.

If he takes that hat off, if he takes that hat off right now, you'll see the tattoo. It says damaged on the top. We got a hat. Someone got a hat for me. I'm fucking, my forehead hurts. My Benny T hat?

Or my Tricky Mac hat? The beanie? Yeah. It'd be hot. It'd be a hot bear. I want your beanie. You got to get it over there. I'll get it.

You guys keep going. Set up the space heater. Have you guys been seeing Dan Benson's Twitter lately? Who the hell is that? Have you guys seen what his account has turned into? He finally blew up. He's been doing this for a while. Dan Benson was Zeke

on Wizards of Waverly Place. Later on, he would go to work in sales at Beyond the Summit. He was a co-worker. Wait, what? So you worked with him. Yeah, we worked with him

for a while. He was the Disney star guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he also, he's like a voice of a side character on Rick and Morty. And he's just,

he's a great guy very nice fun to work with very very positive and uh recently like he has a twitter with like maybe I think he has maybe like 30,000 followers and he tweeted and you know he just like tweet you know random stuff sometimes he wouldn't get a lot of like interactions with it relative to his following I would say lately like he felt okay okay wait okay, wait. Let me... He's been doing this for a long time. Posting on OnlyFans and posting thirst trap pics of his greasy body. Oh, on OnlyFans.

He's been doing this for like two years. No, but he's only been... He got like recently really jacked again. That's the change here. No, I think... Because there was a tweet. If you go back like... We can check the logs.

You can go back like a month and he started doing this again because he wasn't in as good of a shape anymore. So he's hot in our OnlyFans. The thing that got picked up is someone wrote a news article about it. They're like, check out Zeke now. From Wizards of Waverly Place. He didn't get like more jacked, you fucking Jason Tate. He did.

Because he posted a picture like a year ago and he was like working on it. But you're saying that it's because he was jacked, which is toxic masculinity, which always comes from you. And then, but the real reason he blew up is because someone wrote an article. And now he's like very popular. Okay. Okay.

So that's why this is happening then. So people just want to jerk off to the Wizards of Waverly Place guy? Yeah, and he posts thirst traps on Twitter. This guy we used to work with, he's extremely cut. Yeah, I'm trying to be a wizard in his Waverly place. You know what I'm talking about, bros? Every tweet under his post, he'll get 10k

likes a photo, easy, and it's all gay men thirsting after him. It's like, I'll fucking... Basically saying what Nick just said. They already arrived at that on the Cosmic Book Show. I'm scrolling through these replies. Every fifth one is some guy's erect dick.

Like, he's getting a lot of dick pics in the comments too, which is wild. Three dick pics. And Dan is just full on leaning into this. It's fucking wild.

Yeah, because it's bread. Are there people who liked watching him on Wizards of Waverly Place and now want to jerk off to him? Presumably people that grew up with him. That's a great question.

Is it a problem? It seems weird. Yeah, but now he's an adult. He's like in his 30s. Yeah, but it's also, I guess if he's 30, it's fine. Yeah, but if you were watching Zeke on TV when you were also a teenager, I don't think that's weird. Yeah, I guess it's fine. So everyone who's sending a dick pic needs to

show their photo ID to make sure that they weren't doing this when they were super old also I think exactly. When they were young, we should bug their computers and if they're subscribed to his OnlyFans but have also watched

Wizards of Waverly Place. Yeah, they get drone striked. Yeah, they get drone striked. You can't do both. It's pick one. We can have Obama start that program. I don't think he can do that anymore.

ObamaCare 2. ObamaCare 2. Kill all the pedophiles. Consult. Aiden before the pod was like, you know what? If I interviewed Obama,

I would bring up the drone strikes. Like, you just have to. That's true. Yeah, and we all agreed. You're the one

that dissent here. You, you're not that guy. No, I'm a journalist. You can just make a funny joke about it. Obama would just explain

the drone strikes and Aiden would be like, yeah, that makes sense. Yeah, I understand. I guess if I was in that spot, I'd probably also drone those drones. If you're saying that you felt it would solve a huge problem, then oh yeah that makes sense yeah i understand uh so i guess if i was in that spot i'd probably also drone it would solve a huge problem then like that makes sense to me yeah and i guess like the cost of human life like you don't have to think

about it okay yeah i do see that i could see myself in his shoes like dropping a bomb or two like that makes sense to me i just wanted to hear you explain it because like i was kind of confused because like i didn't really understand but now i get that you just wanted to like end human life. Yeah. Also check out Dan Benson's Twitter. You know he got popular just because he got more muscles? Isn't that crazy?

It surely helps probably. I hope Dan's getting bread from these. You need to. I think he deserves it. I hope he's popping off. No, he unfollowed me when he left Beyond the Summit.

Oh. Fucking rule. Who'd watch? Dude, Nick is the king of getting the follow and then he doesn't follow back and then someone just drops him yeah it's really really funny me and slime have like a like a log of the people who in the industry who have done this to me over and over and over again it's not like it's not like it's not spiteful it doesn't mean anything my follows

on twitter are just people who i like their tweets it's not people i like personally it's just like i have never followed someone hoping that they'd follow me back. Like, it's an exchange. That's so fucking whack. Holy shit. God damn it. Yeah, but I've got... I just looked at Dan's Twitter. He has 100,000 more followers

than he did a couple months ago. Yeah, he blew up. This is insane. That article did some work. So, God bless America. Blizzards of Waverly Place. Make an OnlyFans. I should get on that, huh?

No, don't say that, bro. They're the fucking weirdos. How do I have to lose, really? Nick Yingling fan cam. Not much, honestly. Not a lot. You've shown almost everything in the Italy picture. Yeah, I like that photo.

Do fan cams get beat off, too? Fan cams? No. I mean, someone's beaten off. If somebody's beaten off to the Nick Yingling fan cams we've been seeing. That's what we're thinking about. We've seen a few lately. I was on Delta One.

Hey, present. How's it going? Dude, the one time I've defended Nick Yingling in my life, it was on this trip where he, Kalen, who is like Miles' best friend, and he TOs Phantom and a lot of stuff down here. Great guy, A1 guy. And he was talking about how he seeded him and Nick Yingling to play in the tournament. And he was like, oh, me and Nick Yingling?

Oh, you know how that's going to go. And I was like, I don't know, man. And Nick's right here. And there's this whole group of people. I was like, I don't know. Nick Yingling's pretty good. And he's like, oh, it's going to be like this. And I was like, no.

And I stood up. And I got in front of Nick Yingling. I was like, you don't talk about him that way. What was he motioning for? He was motioning, he's going to fuck the shit out of Nick Yingling. Oh, no. And I stood up, and I got in front of Nick Yingling. I was like, you don't talk about him that way. What was he motioning for? He was motioning, he's going to fuck the shit out of Nick Yingling. Oh, shit. That's very graphic. That was visceral.

That was visceral, yeah. T.O. Phantom, everybody. Come to Phantom, by the way. Great guy, great guy. I was like, bro. That bracket's free. Yeah, right? He's T.O.ing.

He said he wouldn't even do crack with me, because he'd be doing the fucking, the tournament. He's like, I can't. Oh, yeah. So you missed this. Anthony Hunt's thing,. You want to do crack with Kalen? Big update. You missed this, by the way. They're going to do crack together. That's just coke. Well, yeah, but it's the base form of it.

Yeah, but like, why do you want to do coke? No, I want to do crack. I know, but I'm rewording it so that you realize how dumb this is. There's three words. Because? To get words. Because? To get bitches. Because it's funny.

Because it's funny? He thinks doing crack is funny. I don't think doing crack is funny. Remember when I say you crack pipes on stream and I told you to open it?

Yeah. And I was mad at you. You got really mad at me. Because it was dumb as fuck because you get banned for having drug paraphernalia. I know. And he's like,

they're oil burners. They're oil burners. Because you buy them on Amazon it's like seven oil burners. They're oil burners. Because you buy them on Amazon, it's like seven oil burners to burn your oil with. Still, obviously you can't do that. But they're oil burners. I know.

They sell them as oil burners, but they actually are used for that. No, they're oil burners. And the reviews are like, these work great, winky face. And it's like crackheads that are writing Amazon reviews. Works really well.

It's like tent lover 34. I love a socially responsible crack smoker. I don't think crack is funny, though. I think, because the effects of it are pretty lame. Come on, crack's kind of funny. Why are you saying crack is lame? Skid Row Legend says these rules. A cool drug would be like ketamine.

The Sleeping Bag Assassin says, love this. Five stars. I think ketamine's funnier than crack. Ketamine is funnier. Iack Ketamine is funnier I don't think it's funnier Dude Tricky Mac We're at the We're at the bar GG Easy

And we're with Chad It was the most insane Combination of people It's Chad from Cold Ones And Tricky Mac From Legends of the Sesh 2 Or 1 And we're sitting at the table

And Chad's like Oh I would just Fucking never do Ketamine And Tricky Mac Who like comes from Like the shadow He goes You are missing out.

It was so fucking good. You know what also is lame is planning to do drugs. No. That's lame. Me and Kalen, we're going to do it once because we both think it's really funny. You're planning on doing it. Yeah, one time. You're scheduling crack.

Because we think it's funny. Do you have it in your Google calendar? Aiden is laughing. Hold on. He's our test audience. You can't point to the laugh whore when it benefits you. It's true. Oh, I can.

That's what you're for. That's what your dirty little laughing mouth is for. You don't deserve those. I'm going to fill your mouth with laughter later. I'm going to fill it. Stop. I'm going to pump you full of laughter. There's a family coming over here, man.

I'm going to pump you full of laughter and jokes. It's a sweet young family. It's a sweet young family. Well, then he better stop begging for more. What time are we at? Maybe 25. Really? Okay. That's crazy. I feel like I've been out for 200 hours. Do you want to know that shit? Do you have a timer?

I don't have a timer. Oh, he's got the body clock. It's pretty good. Yeah, I think it's a bad idea. All things considered. No shit. That's why it's funny. No, say what you want to do. I want to do crack. Yeah, I want to do crack because it's funny.

I'll say it again. All right. You're testing my heat checking. Are you doing something with it? He wins. Smoking it. I know, but like, are you filming something? Are you just doing it privately?

I'm asking if there's a plan with the... The plan is to put it in a crack pipe and smoke it. Are you going to film any of this? I think when it's going to happen, I'm not going to make a thing about it because some dipshit like Yard fans will be like, oh, it's funny to smoke crack and they'll start smoking crack.

Schedulingly talking about it on a podcast is kind of making a thing about it. So basically, if you do that shit, don't talk to me. I don't like you. I don't care about you. But I'll probably, me and Kalen will just do it for the boys and it'll be really funny.

Smoke crack. We did what at the opera house? There's a bad drug. By the way, and I don't want to do this to, in earshot

of the guys working right now, but we got this place on a, there's services you can get kind of the guys working right now. But we, uh, we got this place on a, there's, there's services you can get kind of like Airbnb, but it's for filming, right? And so you can get a space in which to film or do things. And this place that we're at right now, we booked to be able to have the right, like $2,000 to be here to film here. Now what we, what we found out when we got here, which is unfortunate is that it is not a closed area. We're just allowed to film here, but it's still public, which is-

Yeah, we paid two grand to share this space. Nick was furious about it. Yeah. So kids- It is just like a hostel, right? So kids staying at the hostel can hear us talk about smoking crack. No, not us. Me.

There was a mother and child sitting right there when I'm talking about the cum. And Dan Benson- And the part where you started, they just left. Yeah. Yeah, that's true. Because I literally said, hey, do you want to pass? Because in my head, I'm like, I'm going to talk about Dan Benson's cock real soon. So, like, are you passing or are you saying?

And they're like, we're saying. We're five minutes to cock time. And I'm like, oh, Zeke? Yeah, we'll say who it is. It is fucking beautiful here. Yeah. It's the only sunny day that we've seen. It's also way more beautiful in New Zealand.

Oh, yeah. Sorry. No, on GeoGuessr. Yeah. Can't confirm. Don't say I never get dropped in Sydney. You would go on a trip. Huh?

I never get dropped in Sydney. Whenever I get to Australia, it's like flat. I'm here. But Sydney is hilly. Yeah. Hilly. Once. That's how GeoWizards does it.

Hilly. You should play GeoGuessr with that one psychopath guy. He has. Yeah. He's already done that. You should do that. Why do you think he knows him? I don't know. That guy started playing because of Ludwig. Do you know that?

No way. Yeah. He watched my video with Geo Wizard, started playing the game, and now became way better than me and Geo Wizard. I'm proud of you. This is like everyone who's ever gotten into Melee because of Ludwig. Yeah. That's, that's, they're more annoying. That guy's skilled. Yeah. Well, it'll be cool in like four years.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like the orphans. Remember? The orphans that are no parents, no losses. Yeah. My group's about to blow up. Come on. This reminds me of how

so there's a group there's a pretty big group of American players that are here. You know, a bunch of people that came from all over the states. Yeah, Smash players for Phantom this weekend.

And somebody that came from Canada is Elliot. Oh, God. Elliot. Is he still 16? No, he just turned 18. Is he still 16? Elliot has been attending tournaments. We talked about him before.

Elliot has been attending tournaments since he was 10 years old. I was at Elliot's first tournament when he was 10. And now he is here alone at 18 in Sydney drinking beer legally. And it is so weird to watch. Is it like his first legal beer? and now he is here alone at 18 in Sydney drinking beer legally. And it is so weird to watch. Is it like his first legal beer? Yeah, Sam said that he like... Sam was watching him from across the bar and Elliot had a beer and he was like...

Yeah, he doesn't like the taste. It's funny. Narcon him. Said it to his mom. Said it was fake. Your son is drinking legal beer. I'm waiting for him to read the first three messages I sent But after that I'll let her know He's also Canadian like he's only a year off of being able to drink in Vancouver Is he 19?

He's 19 in BC It's 19 and 18 everywhere in Canada Wait wait wait it's different per region? Yeah it's like 18 in Alberta It's like states Do states have the power to change drinking? States can make it lower than 21 But you lose this

federal funding for highways. Oh, that's so smart. The highways. And nobody wants to lose the funding so they won't do it. Yeah, they change it

from 18 to 21 because of that. And maybe the alcohol lobby. But apparently, because I remember growing up and I was always like, that's really dumb that our drinking age is higher.

But turns out when they made it higher, it actually was really effective in reducing drunk driving deaths. Wow. So I cannot complain. I feel like in America it's good because you can have a weapon

that kills a lot of people. Yeah. Well, you can also join the army. They'll teach you the best way to kill people with it. But you can buy the weapon, but not the beer. Well, I think that's good.

That way you know how to use a weapon for the first three years sober. So that when you're drunk at 21, you're a man. You already know. That's a good point. Yeah, it's kind of like MP4, right? It's like you want to be good at the minigames. You got to play sober for a few years.

Do you guys ever watch Reno 911? A few times. A long time. It's such a funny show. It's like a fake cops reality show. I only know Nubu Goofin. Nubu Goofin. Nick Swartzen was on it.

He was Terry, who always wore a tiny cowboy hat. And he was like, Terry. Anyway, there's this bit where they're in a classroom, and it's like kids, like fifth graders. And they're like, all right, so we can't stop you guys from getting guns. Well, hell, you probably got some guns on you right now. What we can teach you is how to hit your man. It's really funny.

That's tight. Yeah. Gun culture is crazy. I don't even know if I talked about it much, but when I went to the gun range with Schlatt for that OTK video. I talked about it a lot on the video. In the Yard channel. In the Yard channel?

Yardpodcast.com. Where they had the Nazi guns? Yeah. It still blows my mind when I think about it. They just had Nazi guns ready to shoot. Isn't it fucked up how racism was real? And now it's destroyed? And now they solved it?

Yo, that's W. You're not even pointing at it on your angle. You're pointing at the buildings. You're just pointing at a different building. Actually, I don't fuck with that one. That's the opera house. That's the opera house. That's Shadow the Hedgehog.

That's Big Ben. It's crazy because we're filming this podcast like a couple hours after you landed. You just got here this morning. You haven't even been here. I don't know. I popped out the pussy and now I'm here. What do you want?

Is there a point where you're just too tired to riff or are you built different like me? You always turn it on. I'll turn it interview mode. I did Iron Mouse podcast and I was just gassed. I just had a long day and I had her show. and i'm just asking her quite i just became the interviewer that's awesome what'd you do with your first like big chunk of money when you got rich and i'm just and then she starts talking like with your eyes open if i could that'd be tight the john lennon's

on i think i knew you were raw when you did that one interview on the phone while we were on a train in italy and you went to the like gap between cars to take it. Oh yeah. With the guy who's like, fuck it. Every time someone Googles parasocial, my name comes up. I'm off that shit, dude. I love you. This is actually, I love you. I love you. This is so funny because we've been hanging out with skip. Who's the guy who made that video? Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That was like, it was like four minutes of the video that I made, right? I'm here to balance it out always. I'll be the rock to your Johnson.

I love you. I love you more if you give us money. Do it because I love you. You have afforded us a very lavish lifestyle. Fans are not friends unless they're in the Patreon in which you are a friend because you purchased that right. In which case, Aiden, do the mic thing. Do the mic thing, Aiden. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Hello, darkness, my old friend. There's kids, bro. Come case, Aiden, do the mic thing. Do the mic thing, Aiden. Oh, no, no, no, no.

Hello, darkness, my old friend. There's kids, bro. Come on. Not in front of the fucking children. What the fuck's the matter with you?

You're fucked. You should have known not to do that. It's the same. What the fuck is the Look at the kids in the eye and do that. Dude, it's cute that all

the menus here say Brekkie. They do say Brekkie. They do. It's so funny because little Aussie slang just sneaks itself into actual published pieces of media.

Some of it's weird, though, because Max Moffa asked to go to Phantom, which I thought was funny because we haven't hung out yet, and I didn't think he cared about Smash, but he's like, oh, can I come? So I messaged Kalen. I'm like, yo, can Max come? He's like, yeah, I'll sort him out. I'm like, that means something different where I'm from.

I'm going to fucking knock that guy's head off. It's like, oh, you don't know him. And then it's the same Visa verse When When Someone's like When someone's like yo Hey sorry about that

And you're like oh you're alright They're like what do you mean you're alright Oh is that bad You can't say that to Australian people Cause it Like They assume that there was a problem to begin with Oh

If you say you're alright They're like yeah of course I'm alright What do you mean Yeah Why would I not be Like fucks up What am I funny funny to you? The thing that I had to get used to

was people who say, oh, that's cool as. Yeah. Like, as what? We'll finish the sentence. It's just to finish the sentence. That's just it. I watch the news.

That's just crazy. They actually talk like it the whole time. They never break. I don't know how they do that. The guy just stops. He's like, does an American accent. Like, I'm fucking with you guys.

It's a blooper reel. They just go, they go full American. They're like, ah, no, bring it back. Bring it i got it i got it come on i'm so excited for anthony to meet chad from cold ones because i met him and he was like all right what we drinking i literally reached out to him so i'm just like i'm gonna be in australia i know this person lives here it's kind of be cool to meet this person so i reached out he comes like all

right what are we drinking and i'm like oh i don't drink and he's like what and i'm like yeah yeah i'm sorry i guess i maybe should have told you that first he's like oh but what are we doing i'm like i don't know he's like okay okay you like gambling i'm like oh yeah, yeah, I'm sorry. I guess I maybe should have told you that first. He's like, oh, what are we doing? I'm like, I don't know. He's like, okay, okay. You like gambling? I'm like, oh, yeah, I like gambling. He's like, alright, 10k at the crown right now. And he starts walking. And I'm like, holy shit, I'm not going to burn 10k right now. He's like, how much are you going to lose? And I'm like, I'll punt 5k.

And he's like, alright, alright, we're going. And he just leads me, Tricky Mac, and a bunch of smashers to the crown. And I was like, Anthony's gonna have a really good time. Did you lose the 5k? I only punted one. And I weaseled out.

He's not about the lifestyle. Well, Australia's fucked with gambling. They've doubled the average loss per person from the second most country. Because I think

they have a lot more slotty machinist bears. They just have looser gambling laws. They have a really big pokey culture. I think it's because they're all trapped

on an island and they're bored. I was watching Slx Laws. No, I was watching Silence of the Lambs and it was commercial break. I thought you were going to say something smart for us. I thought you were going to be like, no, watch this whenever we talk about Australian gambling laws. So the reason why we haven't had the TV on is one, we don't have Wi-Fi and Nick was charging his phone through the television. The USB port on the back of the TV, which charges 1% every 25 minutes.

He just didn't come very prepared. So we had to turn on the TV and silence the lambs. They're like, oh, we'll watch this. But commercials start playing. So I watched a lot of Australian ads. And one of the campaigns was it's this guy at a bar. And he's on his phone. And this guy comes up running in, like, biking outfit.

And he's like, yo, what are you doing? And the guy at the bar is like, oh, I'm just making a bet. And he's like, set a deposit limit. That way you'll know when to stop. And then he runs off. And then it's like, make sure to set a deposit limit. Because he's talking about betting on sports. Ads here are dog shit. Dude, they are.

But there's this idea that gambling is so ingrained in the culture that there's ads to prevent gambling losses. Well, I mean, that exists in the US. It is, but you're not going to get a television. It's the online gambling laws. I think that's the reason that everyone spends so much. They're very lax. Stake.com is based in Australia.ia no shit the people who found it are

australian train wrecks is australian train wrecks is australian now same with aiden ross true that's true true yeah true that's true no yeah that's true i watch an ad that's your train okay i got it i watch an ad that was uh it was for this bed and this guy goes ah emma and then the girl pops up behind him she goes hers never mind and then she lies down and then it's like emma mattress and i'm like bro oh i get it i get it that's a great ad we watched one which was basically just the liquefy tool on people's noses yeah and they were making them dance the potatoes but it looked like shit it looked so bad it looked like a prezzo edit but so good. But it looked like shit. It looked so bad. It looked like a Prezzo edit,

but it was on TV. It was like, oh, my nephew knows I had a huge premiere. Let's have him do it. I'm sorry, Australians. I have to formally apologize to Australia here.

Just for that one, that was bad. Yan didn't bring a toothbrush. We're all just coming like piece of shit. Piece of shit idiots. Dude, I stole a toothbrush. We're all just coming like piece of shit. Piece of shit idiots. Dude, I stole a toothbrush from Miles' house. I watched Yan just like rub each one of his teeth

down with a washcloth like he was polishing like ancient trinkets with a cloth. Paper towel. Better than nothing. This guy cares about his dental hygiene. What happened to the fingy strap? Did you have these things growing up my mom used to buy these

it's like a traveling toothbrush and it's like a thing you put over your finger and it has like mint toothbrush powder and yes i do know what you're talking about yeah the same concept is if you're a prep cook and you cut your finger and you put a little condom on your finger it's like easier to just buy a toothbrush at the store instead of buying that. Yeah, I think they fell out of fad really quickly because of that, but you get a huge stack of them, so they're much easier to pack.

They're like teeth condoms. You pack them like a Band-Aid. Yeah. You get your teeth condoms. And then you can bust inside of them. It's the most I've known my mouth. I know my mouth good now. You ever get those weird little bumps in your mouth

and you gotta pop them? Yeah, I love doing that. Yeah, I don't like it. Thank God. Like little water balloons. Yeah, like little water balloons. I don't like the bottom. What is that shit?

I don't know. I like them. I want one right now. Oh, get it. I feel hot. It's a cyst of some sort, right? R slash popping, but on the inside.

R slash inner popping. No, I think it's like a, not saliva, because it's on your tongue. Or salivary gland maybe? I don't know. One time in college, I thought it'd be really funny to eat a raw jalapeno just because it was on your tongue, or salivary gland maybe? I don't know. One time in college, I thought it'd be really funny to eat a raw jalapeno

just because I was just working the crowd. Right. And I did it. It's a baby version of crack. And then I had hemorrhoids for like three months. Wow. What? It was fucking miserable.

Why would jalapenos eat hemorrhoids? Because when I pooped it out, it was just like, it was just that, it was that shit. Oh, this is what I meant to tell you by the way if you force your poop out there's like a

like a tube it's supposed to go down but if you force really hard it can like burst and go into other tubes it's not supposed to yeah and then it goes to the other tube

and go on the Mario level and it's like it's like the Mario Party 2 minigame where you pick which pipe to go down it's just swimming anyway you don't want that

yeah you die of sepsis that's where all Australian poop gets flushed get your squatty potty I could do that Swimming. Anyway, you don't want that. Yeah, you die of sepsis. That's where all Australian poop gets flushed. Your squatty potty. I could do that, yeah. I have a squatty potty. Dude, I had to clean Miles' parents' toilet bowl because I shit all over it. Dude.

They'll never know. Australian toilets are so goaded for pooping in. Why? Because they're deep. Because they have the huge mouth. Yeah. They are big. They're like Mountain Dew cans

before they changed them in the early. Yeah. They are big. They're like Mountain Dew cans before they changed them in the early 2000s. Not that old. The Mountain Dew can was like, it was wide mouth, so you could get all the dew. And that's what the toilets do here is they get all your poop.

They got big asses in Australia, I guess. They got huge asses. There's travel time when you poop in an Australian toilet. Yeah. There's lag. It makes a cartoon noise. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I think... time when you poop in an Australian toilet. Yeah. It's like... There's lag. It makes a cartoon noise. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, I think... And when you flush and you use the poop setting, it unleashes the ocean. Oh, yeah. It's a torrent. There's so much water. Yeah, I feel like in America, we have the two buttons, but they're the same. Yeah.

I don't believe it. Yeah, there's a lot of two buttoners that clearly do not work. Nobody's here, though. Nobody's. It's kind of cringe. Yeah. Nobody's is weird. Tweed.

Tweed. Well, I will say all of my poops here have been no wipe situations where you wipe and it's dry. Not me, bro. Isn't that crazy? I mean, that's just like that's fine for me.

I think the food and the diet, it's like it comes out cleaner. I've been eating the same food and I'm having trouble. That's just your body. My body is a temple. You have a layer of hell

inside you. You want to do it with me in my dream. True. So think about that. I don't want to do it in real life? Wow. Why?

That's so hurtful. Defense again? Why is this the hurt slime episode? I feel like having a three-way with one of you would be... Formative. What? Why? It would.

But it wouldn't last long, so you wouldn't be too sad. With you? Got you, King. He shows up for 10 seconds. All right, I'm going to have a good one, boy. Hey, crack the door. I'm the orgasm guy. He shows up for 10 seconds. All right, I'm going to have a good one, boy. Hey, crack the door. I'm the orgasm guy. He's the pre-show.

Would you have even come here if not for cold one? No, I think there was four factors. It was this, which was a looming factor. Here are my four factors. Why do you need more? There was actually five factors. This podcast is brought to you by, no, I'm kidding. The Trash Taste Boys are here.

The Trash Taste Boys are here. We're actually going to hang out today and I think tomorrow. And then Cold Ones and then this podcast and then Phantom. Yeah. And I can stream Phantom. So those four. So there's a lot of reasons. If one failed, I probably wouldn't have come.

And I was close to bailing. I took a COVID test the day I was supposed to fly out. That was positive. Yeah. And you almost didn't even come. Yes. I took a test and there's a line on the C. And I'm like, fuck.

And I'm going through. I'm trying to figure everything out. And right before I'm about to cancel my flight, I look at the thing again. And I read the manual. And it says C is the negative one. It's the control. Yeah. I thought C stood for COVID. Oh the negative one. It's the control. Yeah. I thought C stood for COVID.

Oh my God. And I was like, fuck. What's the other one? T? T. What do you think T stood for? T is for totally COVID. Oh no.

I don't know what I thought it stood for, but. How many COVID tests have you taken, you fucking idiot? Like so many. This is why it's the Hurt Slime episode, by the way. Usually they're administered. So like most of the times I take them, someone reads it for you, like words in a book. Negative. And I'm like, got me again.

So I was panicking, but it's still crazy how much time I lost on that plane. Yeah. If you move to Australia, you just lose two days of your life forever. You get them back if you go home. You just bank them. That's what I said, if you move. Yeah, but you can always get them back. No, because you'll die here if you move here. That you just lose two days of your life forever. You get them back if you go home. No, that's what I said if you move. Yeah, but you can always get them back.

No, because you'll die here if you move here. That's not how time works. No, he's right. You lose two days forever. This is what we were sitting in the office, and you're like, yeah, if you kept flying the one way, you'd never grow up. That could be real. I was dying at that.

That could still be fucking real, bro. You could be young forever, literally. This is just Steins Gate, but in real life. Yeah, that's how they figured it out. A Japanese guy flew to Australia. Peter Pan was just a guy who never got off a Qantas flight. That dude toot-a-root himself around the world. Enough to say Young Forever.

Peter Pan, brought to you by Qantas. What was I going to ask? I was just going to ask if you think you're going to have a fun time or you're just worky bears all the time. I don't even know you anymore. You're not the woman I married. I like worky bears. Yeah? The only thing I'm sad about is I wish I had a fucking Vespa here. I don't even know you anymore. You're not the woman I married. I like worky bears. Yeah?

The only thing I'm sad about is I wish I had a fucking Vespa here. I might ask the hotel concierge. There's been a few. I've seen a few around. We saw a few. There's quite a few. I was wrong.

There's a Vespa culture here. I think there's Vespa cultures in every single city that's not in America. I was going to say, not in... Yeah. But everywhere else,

it's like they kind of got that shit on lock because it's like cheaper, you can navigate quicker, and you can park better, which is like the dream for a city. You know what, Ludwig? If you would have come up to me in Italy and said, if you hang out with us, it would make me really happy. And I would have done it. I would have felt like I was forcing you.

You would be disgruntled doing it. No. If he was literally honest with me, say like, I like when you hang out with us, it would make me happy. Those are the magic words and I'm like, oh, okay, I can do that. I'd never put that pressure on you. It's not pressure if you're just explaining your feelings, you fucking psychopath. It is pressure because you were saying you wanted to do the opposite.

I'm literally trying to get you to do what you don't want to do. But then you were all mad and you said you'll never travel with me again. I remembered that. You said you wouldn't stay with you. You'd never stay with me? Yeah, it's a separate room. But I also like... There's other reasons

why separate rooms are good. But you'd stay with him. I did stay with him. And me. Yeah. And Nick. Yeah. But not me.

Because I'm less of a footprint. Me and him joined One Piece calls on Twitter. We did do that. One Piece discussion groups. I would have done that with you. You know I'm crazy for a bit. He would have done that with you.

Look, I will say of everyone in the group, the one who I'm most excited to travel with is usually Aiden for two reasons. He would have done that with you. Look, I will say of everyone in the group, the one who I'm most excited to travel with is usually Aiden for two reasons. One, he's the most knowledgeable. So if I'm ever lost, I can ask him a question. And he'll be like, um, yeah, in Singapore,

like if you smoke weed, they'll kill you. And I'll be like, okay, cool. I won't do that. They don't do that, by the way. And then two, he's also the town whore. Yeah. Yep. I'm the whore too.

You're more of a whore. Nick's the least. Of a whore. Nick's like a fucking brick wall he's a pvp-er what do you mean every time well sometimes when i try to run a bit you just run one right back that's pvp yeah he pvps a lot wait what you're pvp you're pvp-er because you'd be like aha i stand by wait you're saying that you'd rather me yes yes that's funny you think you'd rather me say nothing well you don't laugh though you just do the pvp and then you you'd rather me... Yes. Yes. That's funny. Come on. You'd rather me say nothing?

Well, you don't laugh, though. You just do the PVP, and then you... You'd rather me not banter. You'd rather me just laugh at your joke. No, it's not even banter. I just... You don't... I don't think...

I think... What? When I talk to you, you're just... Don DeMarco. You're just talking. Yeah, I think... Well, we all have our unique Wu-Tang style, and I think that's what makes us fun.

And so Aiden just laughs at everything you say, and it's fun. Aiden's a Stavros. Yeah, he's a Stavros, because I was on the plane talking about there's bones in the seats, and he was losing his mind. I'm like, this is great. He bones critters. With Ludwig, it's like me and Ludwig, we're always working on the television show that is in our mind

of just being two characters, I think. That's what my fun is, right? Sometimes I i'm a straight man sometimes you're a straight man and with nick he's more of like a pokemon master like putting his hat backwards and then like hitting the period on the bit the punctuation i see i see i and i do think that is the case whatever flavor that bursts in your mouth is what you like the most. But that's the thing. You town whore. I get us to have 10 bits in a minute.

Sure, but it's not about volume. Sometimes it's about how you use it. Right. Yeah. I'm going to fill your mouth. He's been in threesomes. I'm going to fill your mouth with laughter. I'm going to pump hot laughter into you.

I keep looking at the Canadian embassies behind us. Really? You want to show up? Yeah, we could probably go. It just says Canada. I have a few plus ones I haven't used. They roll over too. They got Timmy Hortons in there? Yeah, just for us.

Legally, they have to. I did a thing message me when we got here and he's like yeah, let's go rock climbing and talk about meat. Yeah. Because he's really excited because he bought all these weird meats for us that he wants us to consume. He asked me before he bought them, he's like, hey, would you try some meats? And I was like, I'll try some meats.

Yeah. He wants us to take a shit that looks like a cinder block. He's got the classics. He's got snakes. He's got drop bears. He's the Australian that I make in my head as a joke before I come here. But for real? Yeah, he's like,

we're going to go climb rock and eat meat. Him and Alexa are funny because they'll be like, yeah, you go spear fishing. And I'm like, what? Like casually? Like, no,

we're just getting drunk and munting. He wanted to take us diving while we were here, but apparently it's too cold. No, he wanted to go deep water soloing, rock climbing with,

like, over the water with no rope. So when you fall, you fall under water. I also did want to take a spear fishing though. Yeah, you also want to go spear fishing. Like a caveman. Dude, he's such a chat. I remember after the shoot we did with the sketch, he was like, I was like, how'd you like something when he went

to Anime Expo or something? Oh, it was great, man. Too many potties. And I'm like, this guy fucks so much. Like, I just can't. I was like intimidated like it was high school again. Dude, I've got a story for you after I heard that.

Australians are built a bit different. Bit of a nut ATM, yes. He's a nut ATM. And also Alexa is just like super handsome, got a cool mustache. I'm like,

these guys are fucking chad, bro. While I was waiting across the street because where this building is, there's a rec center and there's these kids there. I was looking at these kids while I was waiting for you to come out.

What? Anyway, I'm staring at these kids. Let him talk about how he was staring at the kids now. They're doing five-on-five half court. And the stamina and the moves these kids are doing, I'm like, god damn, they do it different down under. Yeah, you were just admiring the kids. And how well they play basketball.

Right, of course. A lot of it was just playing AFL. I just didn't know. It's like this shit's not basketball. They're crazy. Yeah. Wait, were they playing basketball? Yeah, they're playing basketball. They got that shit here? They got that shit here. I didn't think they knew how to play basketball. The neck goes the other

way though. It goes up. They bounce it in. I think you catch it when it comes out at this point. Call that a try here. Sometimes a pelican just swoops by and eats your basketball, and that's like the golden snitch, and you win the game. Then you just win. Yeah.

Anyway, that's an odd 90s. Do you know Kyrie Irving was born in Australia? From Kingdom Hearts? Who is Kyrie Irving? He's the flat earther. Yeah, okay. Oh. I think it's fucked up how she had long hair in the second game.

Anyway, so I found a Drake song I like. It's called In Too Deep. It's off Certified Lover Boy. First half is better than the second half, in my opinion. Controversial. That's our 90 minutes we're ending. I just wanted to give a little song I like at the end. Is that a new thing? Yeah. Yeah, it's my new thing. Why? I say the current Drake

song I like the most because I'm in Australia and it reminds me of Miles. Alright, well because Nick can literally do no wrong in our Viewers eyes I think they'll look forward to it at the end of every episode until you know if you like the first half or The second half when the beat switch comes in of into deep by Drake off certified lover boy in the comments section below And also consider the patreon while you're at it, and that's our 90 on subscribe. We were to make too much We're gonna make too much money. Yeah, you can unsubscribe. Too much bread? We're good.

We're capped out. Also, really quick. We kind of fucked up the Patreon episode that went up yesterday or whatever because the GoPro's all overheated and then Miles' internet was three up. No. None of it uploaded. So Archie and Shuby combined their efforts and animated the premium. Wait, there's no footage footage? No. Really? They animated the premium episode.

I didn't know. I thought it was just the part that got lost. And it's very cute. So if you're in the Patreon, you got a little treat this week. Not really a treat. It's mostly us fucking up. It's our treat. We fucked up. We do have the GoPro footage. But it is very cute. So we have it. Maybe we'll upload it later. I don't know. It's not worth it. Anyway, we're going to go

soyjack at the opera house and make a thumbnail. And with that, goodbye, everyone. Bye. Enjoy your day. Bye.