The Yard - Ep. 56 - Mr. Beast was right.

Episode Date: August 3, 2022

This week, the boys talk about Atrioc's bachelor party, Hasbulla reaching out to Ludwig, and how Mr. Beast made Ludwig look like an idiot.

i'm glad that there's another w for ludwig on the board yummy pizza bears was there um a whole pizza in that at one point no no i got two slices. Okay. I've been eating a lot. I'm trying to cut weight. It was funny because you opened the box and then there was a single slice. It looked pretty funny to me. Why are you cutting weight?

What the fuck are you cutting weight for? Oh, you're a stinky two again? No, I'm not. I'm 188. Maybe 185. I'm pretty thin right now. But you're trying to get even more skinny and wet. I'm starting personal training tomorrow. Personal training?

What? He gets me. He baited me. He got me all excited. I thought it was. I thought the old era was back for a moment. He comes up to me. The old era of you just refusing to drink a protein shake and fucking stamping your

feet like a child. That was different. Why? Than this. So I worked out with him. He worked out with me. He came down. He asked me to work out in the middle of the day.

And then I'm like this face. He did the thing where he goes, Work out, man. You want to work out? That's if he wants to. But if you ask him, he'll be like. Because I knew I had to. It's like pulling fucking teeth.

And then I get there and he's fucking whining like a baby the whole time. Not true. I said this. I said, we got to do a hundred push-ups between the both of us before we leave i heard about this yeah and i get down and we go at our first go about it i do i do like 20 he does like seven and i'm like that's all right hey let's let's just do that again bench we did bench right before i'm sorry i'm hearing a huge excuse continue sorry so i push him and he

keeps going down from like seven to six or five on our last one i do like 10 i think he squeaked out one on the two he corrects you to two but on the knees too oh that counts as one yeah and then i had to end it by saying all right, cause we had like seven left for him. I was like, you can do them the rest of the day. And I did them for him right there. Oh, wait,

I did them. Yeah. But I also did them while we were there. Why'd you wake him to the seven after that's 107. That's not round because I didn't want to cover that much of it. You didn't believe I also, it was like a mental thing. Like I would feel,

did you go over a hundred? Cause why did did 100 there And he did 7 later Total between the two of us But he couldn't Ludwig Ludwig couldn't leave the room Without doing 100

Ludwig couldn't weave Or he would've started vibrating I have small Willow chest muscles I have no And I And it's hard for me To do pushups

After we do bench Yeah bro you're hot You got a hot ass Fucking tight ass body bro I don't want to do tequila off your stomach, bro. Come on over here. Everything he's saying is right. And that's not why I'm mad at you. I'm not mad at you that you can't do pushups. I'm mad that I

don't have a clone of me that's stronger than me telling me to do what I'm making you do. Which is what the personal trainer is. Right. Yeah. And he looks like you. And he'll look like me. Yeah, that's good. And we'll suck each other off. And you'll suck each other, you'll stick together, standing up. You'll wear that fucking shirt.

It's a great shirt. I honestly was just thinking that he looks good in the shirt. I do too, but here's, guys, here's the secret. It's Nick Yingling's shirt. Is it really? Yeah, Nick Yingling went to Target. He got two button downs for him and Josh to match. Josh hated his button down. Never wore it.

Fucking hate it, Con. that's crazy josh is not a picky person it was it was like a black button that was like a little bit no with everything else he's just like gracious you helped him yeah but like no he's he's secretly the pickiest guy in the world no matter what he just doesn't let on because he knows when he was an example it's not food he was in a bad spot i think it was it's like it's more like when he needs to go somewhere when he needs like a ride or this and that like he just wants to go on his own time and it's all he'll always like try to get you to do it his way in most situations he's a manipulator yeah he's a he's a demon man now that he's gone we can say he's one of the worst people I've ever met Yeah He gaslit me

Into fucking and sucking Every last drop Out of his body That feels like you did it willingly That Unless you're I did do it willingly Okay

Cause the opposite You're describing it with like such Like a bigly words I thought that he would Bigly I thought that we'd keep doing that And we only did it once No cause we didn't do that with him

We didn't do that None of. We didn't do that. None of us. We didn't do that. No, I mean like me and him. Three of us. Me and him. We keep going. We would have fucking got wild.

Dude, I realized that you don't have to be a stoner to use eye drops recently. And I've been using eye drops just like for fun. Straight up the dumbest thing you've said ever. Just getting wild. It's good shit. And eye dropping. Yeah, my eyes just like never dry.

Dude, I realized that apples aren't just for smoking. Dude, that shit is fucked up. fucked up can i have an edible pipe or like does your mom buy some from the store when my friends told me when i was like like in middle school that you could smoke out of like apples and shit i thought they were fucking with me you can drink the gatorade before it's crazy you don't have to pour it out. There's a brown Gatorade. I never smoked Gatorade. I never hit a Gatorade bong, but I can't imagine it's good for you.

The corn syrup in your lungs. I'm afraid to drink a water bottle that I left in my car for a day. Yeah. I'm not going to do that. Well, cowgirls make do when you want to smoke that dirty ass, stinky ass weed. I told my chat about stale water and they all freaked out. What stale water stale water water that's left out for a while tastes worse oh yeah yeah it's like a noticeably worse yeah i mean it's like i don't know what is that though it's literally stale water because it doesn't move like it needs some you're just making that shit up i almost believed you for a second, too. I'm right.

I'm right. It needs some mood. You're just acting like stale and still are the same word right now. It's like your body. It's like you get stiff. You don't move for a while. You go to a nice restaurant. Would you like sparkling stale?

Well, still water is different than stale water. Because it's so still, it gets really good. The Europeans would have really stinky stale water. We leave it in the casket. It doesn't move at all. it's really good the europeans would be like have like really stinky stale water funny tiktok it was like all right three weeks in europe i kind of want to fucking leave and it was them an italian restaurant with like a tiny cup because you know how their water cups are for babies yeah it's like really hot no public bathrooms why are they rationing water there are they in trouble they ration it and they like they don't give it free and it's warm you ever got like a really like hipster restaurant and the and the water doesn't have ice they just don't give you ice

with it they give you a big and i'm like i'm paying more to be here why is there a downgrade in my water because room temperature water is good for your bones in your mind sure it is better for you but it's just easier to prepare wait why is it better for you it hydrates better because your body needs to cool down the water with the machines inside of your body and the wheels and then the wheels don't can't get hot so and so this makes sense to me see this it's this could make sense if this was an analogy like maybe there's no analogies it's the wheels in your bones and your blood so if it's really hot is it even better for you yeah if it's room if it's the temperature of your bones and

your blood and you're 98.6 is key some more from the water room temperature is stupid right what do you mean as like a phrase yeah because the rooms are like what is that what room well if you guys watch gamers nexus and and they do temperature readings for different coolers, and it's the delta C over ambient temperature. And ambient is usually 20 degrees Celsius about. I can't even give you shit about this, because the last time we talked about this fucking channel, the whole comment section was like,

that's my guy. That's right. That's my guy. That's right. We are strong and proud we love graphs and data there's dozens of us all over damn that's crazy yeah yeah thank you dude i haven't i'm still i can't tell if i've learned anything from this conversation i have more questions i can ask more questions i've been thinking a lot about this dude i tweeted about

have you ever thought about a battery? That shit is insane. That was a dumbest thing to tweet, bro. What was that fucking tweet? It was like, hey, before you fucking chomp out at me, just think about it. Think about it. What is it? We've already gone through this. You're like figuring out that girl's poop and like we already knew.

And like, yeah, the first time you figure it out. I don't believe in fucking Santa Claus. There's even different types of batteries. We got high when we were 16, so we went through these thoughts. Yeah, yeah. I was in the back of the bus. That is actually potentially true. Yeah.

That's crazy. I've just been thinking a lot, man. Did you just hang out with Ryan a little too closely? Yeah, I've been hanging out with Ryan a lot. Bro, is everything about space? And Ryan's just holding a joint. Dude, you're watching the Sonic 2 movie. We're in San Diego.

Just film me. We haven't seen Sonic 1. We went down to film my buddy say ryan who works for mogul moves he used to do a lot of contour over for bts he's a very very talented guy um loves smoking that that bong shit a lot of mogul employees on that wave yeah i didn't know yingling hit the pen like he was a fucking like a bro look at the shirt the second ago you just hit you said hit the bong thing and now you can't even think of this is the only thing we have i'm fucking slipping anyway ryan's there and he's like oh he's so funny because he like talks kind

of like deliberately too and he's he's getting his laptop set up for the tv in this airbnb and we're like we drove a bunch of gear all night we're about to go to sleep we got to get up super early and he's like he plugged in and he's like all right we're either gonna watch the halo show on amazon or we're gonna watch sonic 2 and he's rolling a joint yeah he's rolling a joint and we're like is that the only like is that the only thing we're gonna watch he's like yeah that's tight so we watched sonic 2 while ryan smoked weed and then we sat around the tv like pointing at it like a like a presentation yeah like yeah this is why this part's fucking this part of the movie sucks and we're like just talking shit and we're in uh we're just d we're

like uh deconstructing sonic 2 angrily because there's a scene where like Bruno Mars starts playing and he like, they like dance. Zipper's laughing. They're flossing in the movie. There's flossing. Jim Carrey literally flosses. That's tight. That's funny. No, that's bad.

On paper, it sounds cool. And then it's also kind of cool when you see it. But then afterwards you're like, man, it doesn't belong there. Sonic 1 was great outside of the 30 minute Olive Garden commercial in the middle. They had that? yeah that's crazy so I thought Sonic 2

would be decent Idris Elba voices Knuckles there's the flaws oh my god and then that's Idris Elba who played Stringer Bell in The Wire you know

pretty good pretty iconic person but you know diverse portfolio they put him on Knuckles is it canon that Sonic likes chili dogs? That's what in the movie he upsets with chili dogs, right?

Yeah, it is canon. He loves chili dogs. When? When was that canonized? It was in the Sonic X TV show, in the comics. He goes, I gotta go fast and get chili dogs. I'm always running to a chili dog. I know it sounds weird, but it is.

I wish I wasn't running so fast because all the chili's coming off my dog. He eats a chili dog right before he fucks Tails. No, no, no, no. He doesn't fuck Tails. Wait, what? No, he doesn't fuck Tails. Yes, he might. He does Tails.

What is it, the chili dog or me? You know what? He chili dogs Tails. You know what Anthony's dumb ass didn't know? What? That Miles from Sonic, Miles Per Hour, Miles Per Hour. Yeah, I didn't know that. He it's miles per hour yeah i didn't know he never put it together and you didn't either and you're acting like you're you didn't know what a fucking battery was no i know what it is staring at a battery like look at the horrors of

man am i the only one who knew this look at this right now and tell me how it works How am I the only one who knew this? Is there a shot of a battery? Hold on. Don't lose your shit in the battery, please. Look at this right now and tell me how it works. Bro, it's electro-ness and it goes positive plus negative. You know you roll it out, right? It's like a rolled up paper.

There's a dude who rolls joints of batteries just in the... That's not true. They would die if they did that. They just roll up. Maybe Ryan. Maybe Ryan could handle that. You guys ever burn yourself on a battery as a kid? You were like touch both sides with metal or something?

Yeah. Wait, wait, wait. We're getting fucking Morning Zoo like crazy. I need to take a step. We need to go back to the chili dog thing. Listen to me. Sonic. You watch a Sonic cartoon. I did too. I had a VHS of a couple episodes of it. Zipper, bring up

that like hot chipmunk. You know what I'm talking about. What? I think I know what you're talking about. Shake my hand now. I think I know what you're talking about. Dude, she's fucking fine as fuck. What are you talking about?

There was like this hot ass chipmunk in the show. There was also a dude named Antoine who I liked because he had my name kind of. And he was like their butler. Hold on. He was like Sonic's butler and wore like a suit please zipper you have to do something now i'm losing there's not a picture of a chipmunk in the next five seconds i'm losing these guys it's the sonic cartoon the animated show on being nothing like there she is boom what's her name what's it say sexy sherry sally acorn is that what it is god damn you're just a furry

i'm not a furry this is just how women look to me this is that show bring up antoine that show is why so many people got into sonic pornography a hundred percent no because that's it's such a generational thing like there's literally 15 year olds right now discovering their sexual identity to sonic shit and the cartoon is nowhere to be found it's just that that's antoine look he's their butler look at his little like this is a different sonic cartoon than i watched i think maybe maybe you watched an older cartoon i probably did because i'm 76 years old but i wouldn't have fucked the shit out of that chipmunk i what i remember about sonic x is that i love the theme song and i loved their one of the main plot lines in the show is that sonic races like just this guy like this human guy who's convinced that he can drive a car fast enough to beat sonic that's

lovely and that's lovely he's like i could be sonic and they race like four times throughout the tv show and every time the guy is like my car's fast enough now and then he loses to sonic and that's it's just the same episode four times at different points with the sonic movie too is like the movie starts and sonic's like check this out he runs like really fast that's his thing oh it's so and then there's parts of the movie where it's like, he's like, oh, no, they're, like, holding this thing and we need it back. I guess I have to dance battle them now. Yeah, have to dance battle.

It's like, bro, you are so fast. Just grab it. Just go. The whole movie, you're pranking people with your fun, fast feet. And all of a sudden, you got to dance to Bruno Mars. This was also. Don't believe Jesus. I think it's also sort of the

problem with the sonic tv show was that he like when it came down to it it turns out sonic can go even faster now and that was that was every battle so it was in car race with this guy right so it was like why didn't you just go that fast yeah the first time he's gotta dig deep he's but he i think that's the whole idea he's got a sonic that chipmunk with his chili dog enough of horny six tiktok wait so here's in the old cartoon he could that he needed rings to do shit so it made like a made sense it was like a resource yeah that's like the game and everything well i know but i'm what i'm saying it's like oh i can't go fast i can get a couple more rings and then i go even faster so it kind of just called speed

he's just taking speed say crystal meth yeah that's i mean that would be that would make more sense if sonic did a drug before every time he ran really fast. But it wears on his body. He'd be like A-Train in The Boys. He would be like A-Train. Is that? It's like The Boys, yeah. Oh, shit. You haven't seen it?

A-Train runs really fast when he did drugs. And then he stopped doing drugs. Because he was killing them. And now he can't run that fast anymore. And now he drinks milkshakes. That's like me with caffeine. I have to stop drinking caffeine. You're really slow now.

Yeah. And I'm not as funny when thinking of analogies for nick so quick uh how's frenchie doing frenchie's great still bald my guy so he i don't know i feel like he's had one of the more distinct character arcs yeah in the show that's great he also isn't bald anymore so if you continue to get messages like he was never bald it was never bald. It yeah, he was bald by choice Yeah, he was a close shave French man I've been watching a mythic quest anyone on the tip yet. What is I told Nick? I will never watch an Apple TV show I'll put a shotgun in my mouth. You're watching an Apple TV show. It's good. Wait, why not? Oh, yeah but just cuz I don't want to jump it's uh it's it's rob mcculaney

from always sunny and he runs a uh video game company that makes a game it's basically it's an mmo game company they make a game called mythic quest it's a good concept not an ad by the way i just think i will never watch an apple tv show or i will die on my knees that's fair it's just cool that there's shows coming out. I haven't watched Players yet, but there's shows coming out about video games that aren't cringe. It's a big turning point in history. Apparently.

Are getting more mainstream. We watched the first two episodes of Players, and it's pretty good. It's at least very authentic to League of Legends. Well, they get to license it, right? Yeah, Riot has made it in part with Riot. Yeah. So they chipped

in and they're like, let's get some fucking devs in the room. God, that's exactly what Riot needs is a fucking hand in the entertainment industry. Yeah, that'll be good for them. I mean, Arcane was sick. That one was a bit more popular. Hiring actual people

to act. That's good. I don't like the tone. It's bad, but I think they're like it's bad but i think they're doing good they're doing good oh you think they're doing good riot okay what about what about the island riot island riot island yeah that's that's less good they're trying to get back to how things were no but that's fine that's that'll be fine and under wraps after they announce the congressman puppet that they have next year. Next election cycle. The Tencent puppet. Puppet Manchurian candidate.

What island do they have? Dude, I'm talking about Jeffrey Epstein. What? Yeah. You know what he did? Riots Connected? Jeffrey Epstein and your favorite actor, Chris Rock, went all the way to an island and they fucked all kinds of kids.

Chris Rock was your favorite actor? Was Chris Rock there? Yeah, he was on the charter. I would say he doesn't crack top 50 for me, but. Oh, you didn't like that one where he died and became an old white guy? No, I didn't see that one. Great fucking movie. What movie is that?

What movie is that? I think that's the title. No, it's not the title. Let me look it up real quick. for me feel for me well in the meantime hey that mr beast video uploaded is banging yeah i was gonna ask about that it is crushing right now how it's called down to earth sorry go ahead how big of a lead does it have zip hold up so this is the first 34 minutes now if you don't do the youtube things you'll you won know this, but they categorize your success based off how it compares to the past 10 videos you've uploaded. So this is the best out of the past 10, but it's not the best by like a factor of one or two. It's, it's three

times bigger. Cause my normal is 43 to 53. It's so funny. Cause it's Mr. Beast in a hole of money. And it says like bugs bunny. It says i buried a hundred thousand dollars go find it so it's basically for all intents and purposes a mr beast video 100 but it's on ludwin i met your mom i am an evil man and i will kill you that's right you viewer that is beast mode you will die if you click this i have so much power now mr beast did that shit mr beast crazy fun island riot is here i rode the plane addressing the allegations yeah i'm sorry Wow Is he I was really wondering like I wish there was a way to know

How many people do you think click on that thumbnail Without even realizing It's your video At the moment not many because it's like Really early in it but eventually like Almost fucking everyone who starts clicking It won't know who I am. Yeah.

My most viewed video is five million. I feel like this is going to crush that. Is it the Jay Slatt Mogul money? Yeah. Second is Ice Climbers? Yeah. Not anymore. Actually, no, it's not anymore.

What is it? I've made a secret YouTube channel to prove it's not luck. Great video. Hey. What have you learned from that doing well? That if you upload a MrBeast channel channel on your video it will do well so it can't be luck that was a crazy sentence it's well i guess it's luck in getting it no you said if you upload a mr beast channel on your video upload a mr beast video on your channel i wasn't listening i promise i tuned him out did

he say that you're the judge and jury the thing is you can also feel it in your mind because the way the human mind works the mind is beautiful and full of wheels I was watching the video and your stomach is also full of wheels that's right and there's so many gears there's so many gears and things

inside your stomach and your body all sorts of shit in there. The wheels crush the bones when you eat them. Dude, I was going to our yard like our friend's server to find Zipper but he's not in that one. Which is kind of funny if you think about it.

Zipper, I'm sending you something. It's crazy you'd say all of that. The video that I was watching it before you all came up here and i'm sitting here i'm enjoying the video it's it's a great he was just giggling watching a mr beast video yeah he's in there he's like he's like a lot of it's gonna get stuck in the glue he's just watching to himself and enjoying with big rubber boots and you're stuck in the

glue that's how i knew this one was going to bang. It's just a fucking viewer. You know what's funny? There's a Venmo ad in it and it's not sponsored by Venmo. I love that you weren't allowed to cut the Venmo stuff out but it's kind of closely integrated into that scene, I guess. If I remove the Venmo, you have to remove that whole scene

and I think that's the funniest scene. So you just announce, you just tell viewers please ignore this Venmo ad. I wasn't paid for this. Hey, what's up viewers? Use something else. Welcome to the video. You should have sold the Cash App.

Yeah. Right before. You should have dubbed it over. Yeah, text to speech. Yeah. You should have done every single money service, Cash App, Current, Coinbase, Venmo. Battle Royale. Back to back to back.

Yeah. We get one rep from each. And they all have a gun with one bullet in it and they're all painted the color alone in a room there's like a green guy there's a venmo light blue guy there's a coinbase dark blue guy uh-huh there's what else is there uh uh there's dell he's current there's another blue zell guy they just use the same color blue why blue is it well red's racist red is racist same with yellow well red would be racist in red would be if if marlboro had a payment service which would be kind of high

but anyway in prison you give them all a desert eagle in one round and then what and then the winner lives so they all like shoot so many of them live well if they maybe the winner or z with a parentheses i want you to think about this idea in your own time and come back next week okay that's fair is it freaking you show what i sent you i i was watching ludwin stream and oh my god oh my god so this is me laying on my floor where i usually lay and uh i was i was watching ludwig as you do and i put my thumb in my uh my boxers to make it look like my cock yeah so i'm watching ludwig when i just send this to him just the picture raw and he says on stream oh mike wanted me to watch this on stream right now.

And I'm like, oh, he's taking requests. And then I was like, hey, will you look at my picture? If you watch Mike's vid, will you look at it on stream? And then Ludwig said, I'm not going to do that. I see it, but I'm not going to do it. And then I said, wow, okay. So basically, Mike is in the front line of friendship. And I'm behind Mike right now. No, it's like when someone in chat does something that gets attention, and then someone else does it.

That's what you did to me in real life. Yes. Yes, I did. But I'm your friend. But hasn't he earned that, right? That's right. But I still can put him down one time. If Mike sent you that picture, would you have showed it?

If he randomly sent me that picture and said, can you show it? Unprompted or was it prompted? Unprompted. because that's a different situation than what you did you were prompted by mike i didn't i mean you're saying following something happening right if he did it rando i'd be like sure if he didn't do it rando and i'd be like probably you're trying not to reward my behavior yeah that's system that's rude you have to donate that's kind of our system with you though what is not rewarding your behavior yeah but you act out yeah but that wasn't acting out i was being fucking precious he turns to i hate that was i not here i was precious was i not that yeah yeah i would have it. Can you pull up my photo I sent you while we're doing this?

That's right. He likes it, man. I walk outside today and I look on the front porch and Zipper, if you could pull up what I sent you. I see this. Yeah. And I think Cutie is turning into a crystal girl, but she doesn't know how to do it. Tell me you know what this is. This picture is just bananas. Judy is turning into a crystal girl, but she doesn't know how to do it.

Tell me you know what this is. This picture is just bananas. It's five bananas in the sun on a stone pillar out front. This is like the three seashells in Demolition Man. Is she ripening them? Yeah. Why?

You can do that. Wait, the sun affects fruit? I thought ripening bananas was just time. In sun. Sun is what makes fruit grow and change. That's not how batteries work. The sun... Dude, some batteries do work that way.

Are there wheels? Some batteries, you show the sun, and they actually do that. True. You like that shit? It's fucking crazy. So we were going to get lunch and uh nick took this photo i walk out late and then i see the bananas and i stop and i'm like i'm very thrown off and i'm just looking at them and we're standing around the bananas like two monkeys looking at the bananas

going are there bananas here why are there bananas yeah and cutie sees us from the kitchen and comes outside and she's like don't touch my bananas she's been in the fucking like k hole kitchen hole cooking for a chuck's wedding for like 36 hours straight yeah that's what this is for it was up at like 2 a.m last night in my streamers like list of who's live it was like a bunch of rerun channels and then cutie cinderella i'm like i came down and she has that big to-do list that she's in the hat in the background of the stream right she has like a couple things crossed off on a massive list and she's like these are all things i need to finish and And I have two of them done. And I was,

I, because at this rate, it's going to take you right up until the wedding. Like, I didn't, but I didn't know what she was doing. I thought this was just like,

for fun. Like, this is just a, this is just a for fun scenario. Is she self-imposed? Because she just show up with nothing and everything's okay.

Are they counting on her? No, I think she's committed to making stuff up. It would be like showing up and there'd be zero cake at the wedding. That's fine. She came over like bagel bites. That'd be so funny. Dude. I brought the snacks

and she brought like kid cuisine. She only has a pop-out cake with slime in it. And out of a sash is his happy birthday, Mr. President. It's not his birthday. But he is the president of the united states she signed up for it and she was she also this is where she self-imposed she didn't take payment for it okay but like the raw ingredients and tools alone is like a couple

grand i was gonna say they would have paid her a hundred percent and while she's saying this i'm like well you should just ask him because i was with him last night and he spent that much in Baccarat. So I don't think he's that stressed about it. So he's been gambling. Yeah, we were in Vegas for his bachelor party. Yeah, but he's decided to gamble now. Yeah. Why are you saying it like you're a Christian pastor? Well, because he usually bets like $20.

Is that true? No. He's always bet high. Where are you getting this from? You're making things. We bet $100 melee money matches. Maybe it's you who only bets $20. I usually bet somewhat light. But I've been betting higher. I got bullied this time.

Who bullied you? Tell me who did it. Who all went, by the way? It was me, Atriox, Stans, Nick Allen, his friend from high school, Lorenzo, and then Lorenzo surprised him with a bunch of other friends from high school and his brother. Were they like hot friends who dance?

They were all like 35-year-olds who have jobs and kids and wives, but used to be giant League of Legends nerds. And we spent the better part of Saturday for about six hours playing Killer Queen for his bachelor party. The song? The game. Oh, the arcade game, right? The OG arcade game, Killer

Queen. Killer Queen. Classic. Was the song based on the game? People at SmashGG, all the SmashGG founders were really into that game. It's got a big following. It's on Steam and Nintendo Switch. It's not, I don't know if any song is, like, you're talking the Queen song. The Queen song. Came out well before. The game came out

before the song? No, no, no. The Queen song came out in, like came out in like the 80s or 70s right this isn't like an old arcade game yeah it is one yeah it is an old arcade game so it could have came out older no we're not going to harp on this much longer i promise viewers it did not come out before the queen song it's unrelated which came first the chicken anyway fucking we're at the bachelor party uh and i i am not the best man even though i keep selling a truck i'm going to do a speech at his wedding yeah but i did assume some of the roles to make things happen because just nothing was it stands right yeah and stands is not doing his duties he's a shit best man he was just dreaming it just felt like he was not pulling it together in time is he playing uh what is it motorsport motorcycle motorsport manager manager yeah

okay hold on can we make a bet actually sure will stans make a streaming joke in his best man speech what do you mean by that by that i mean like like he'll call him like an andy or he'll do something that is streamer centric that you have to be on the in crowd understand Yes, like he just mentions it. He'll say he'll he'll definitely It doesn't count if he says like, you know me and a tree I like have been live streaming for it doesn't come he says my account if he says like re supported a truck through streaming and Work no, so he's to make it streaming just streamer. Just right. Yeah, he's trying to be clever He's trying to make a little and he's using streaming as a way to do that

Yeah, I'll take the under what if he won't do it? Yeah He's trying to be clever. He's trying to make a little... And he's using streaming as a way to do that. Yeah, I'll take the under. And he won't do it. Yeah, what if he... I bet he'll say, Try hard seven. And then Mizkif comes from behind the bushes. And all the streamers form like the Avengers.

And they floss. And Sonic 2 and Jim Carrey are there. And XQC calls someone's dog a chicken. Aiden Ross is a slur. Yeah. And the ceremony ends. And then Aiden Ross goes, let's get this party started! And then he marries his wife and they're happy. They just had to make Robotnik fat, man. I know, dude.

That's all they had to do. Either way, sorry. You're going, you're, hey, Stan's shit best man. You wish you were best man, but you're not. He's not a shit best man. He's a great best man. I didn't get invited, which is also crazy, but that's cool. Not crazy. Because I was like, oh, oh it's only for groomsmen but then you told me a bunch of other people showed up so it's like whatever go ahead you have been was only for group you have been preying on both of their downfalls true since the beginning of time why are you surprised because it's las vegas baby so you just want to invite to las vegas no i'm just fun to hang out with. And precious, yeah. So I go back to my old wheelbarrow of the host that I know.

I thought you were going to say I have a girlfriend. Your old bathtub of a girlfriend. Let's stop this line of jokes right now. I go to the host I know who's named Joel, who I met when I was with Grayson in Vegas. The alleged scammer. Not infamous scammer, not alleged. I don't have the money.

The confirmed scammer. Confirmed infamous scammer. And I ask him, I'm like, yo, can you hook me up with some rooms? And he's like, yeah, absolutely. You spent a lot last time. I'm like, thank you. Could you also get some for my friends?

And he goes, are they YouTubers? And I go, yes, absolutely. Which is a lie.r and stans are the other two are not or the other three are not that's fair nick allen nick allen's youtube youtube kind of he he is he's like he's old old youtube's old yeah you're like that's true one of them does make youtube videos but he he made the LCS. Are you familiar? That's more important. Yeah.

And then I have to be like, so the LCS is like a form of competitive. Well, actually, first, Ken, grab. It's a Nivea. And sometimes it sounds like. Okay. Go ahead. And so like when he said it wasn't actually it. And he's saying idiot. And so we are there.

And I'm able to get three rooms secured or four rooms secured on the house with the idea that we gamble on return. That's what they do. Yeah. Is if you gamble a lot, they give you free things. And I gambled a lot last time, but they didn't give me any free things. So give me this room. I show up. He also gives me a thousand dollars in free play

for slots. Whoa, which is very pog. That's how bad slots are. You feel really bad when you put money in slots but they're still fun. So it feels better when you get to slap the big button and lights move and it's really fun. And then sometimes the bonus comes and you're like much like if you're a slot streamer.

Yeah. Did you do one with like cats on it or something you like? I did one with 777. Whoa. And I didn't hit the bonus once in $800 of spins. Damn. Yeah, it was tough. Fuck. And I didn't hit the bonus once in $800 of spins. Damn. Yeah, it was tough. Fuck. Anyway,

we got all this free stuff. We had a good time and I bet really light day one. But the only way they track how much you spend in the casinos with a player's card and I was the only one with a player's card.

I bet like maybe like $2,000 and I spun it up to $4,000. I did well. Oh. And then night one ends. Day two starts. I get a text from Joel. It's like, so none of your friends have bet and then uh and then night one ends day two starts i get a text from joel it's like so none of your friends have bet and you barely bet last night really yeah they shake

you down yeah where they check yeah wow and i was like and i was like well they definitely bet because i was with them all night we played piegouts like 3 a.m and he's like well they didn't have player cards i'm like well how is that my problem uh and so then i was like stressed i was like fuck gonna like figure out that i'm scamming him wow he's gonna ask everyone to pull up their youtube channel and it's gonna be nick allen's fucking double digit why esports doesn't work 500 subscribers yeah. And it's like created in 2003 before YouTube existed. Yeah. Nick Allen, me at the zoo. And, uh, it, so then I hatched the plan that I, I could initiate the plan that I talked about on stream where I brought, like, I brought like 9,000 in total and I disperse it

and I give it like to stands and it's like an ocean seven mission. I give like a little bit to stands. I give a little bit to auto is a little bit to nick allen and we all go down and bet on the players cards but what i'm realizing is i could have just bought the rooms because we lost all the money anyway yeah because we gambled it all so i should just buy the rooms are cheaper i just i got myself scammed in the process gentlemen we have to lose nine thousand dollars in one hour so yeah we go we have to lose all this money so we can pay for the six thousand rooms we got free or six thousand dollars of rooms we got free it's that much oh yeah they got us a they got us like a like one of the top floor ones that had like a piano in it

man it's crazy it's crazy that they had that figured out did you take a dump in the piano at least in the piano yeah no like in the strings be crazy and then it like falls through the strings like play you guys get a little drunk on saturday we got very we was atriox drunk night he wanted a drunk night you i heard you got a drunk text yeah i i woke up the next day and i have a little discord notification from atrioc but i went to bed really late and i checked discord before i went to bed and it was at like 3 30 in the morning and i didn't have an atrioc dm then i'm up the next morning and i open it up 4 40 a.m from atrioc does not message me for anything but business stuff normally and it just says Abe did

with the B spell AIBDN I didn't realize how drunk he was until the next morning when he just had breakfast and he like he couldn't finish thoughts because he was still like foggy so he would just start sentences and then just pause and like occasionally he would just like walk out of the room and where you going he'd be like i gotta go and then he just

leave and we'll be like i don't know where he's going is he throwing up and he come back he's like i went to banana republic i needed a shirt okay i would love to see him in a subdued state because he's always so wacky and goofed out yeah you know what i'm saying it's jarring in a k-hole yeah he sent a drunk text to Jerma. What did he say to Jerma? It was a picture of a BLT. And Jerma understood. Yeah, finally.

Jerma looked at us like, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep. That's whatever weird language Jerma speaks. I spent my match. Okay. Speaking of K-holes, it reminded me of this because I don't know i haven't seen

this reason i'm not done ketamine i'm not about to tell you a story about me doing drug guy i want everybody to know that drug guy nice acme sweater talking to teddy fresh burn zipper one that's hurtful it's hurtful zipper Zipper 1? Zipper 1. Whoa. We were talking because Zipper 1 has been overseeing some of the upcoming sponsorships and stuff we have to do on the show, right? And he realized looking at one of the potential companies, like we've been basically shown the types of companies that you could work with, not necessarily the companies that we have a deal with and he was like check this out this company is basically a therapy

company that uses ketamine treatment like you go in and do like ketamine therapy it's becoming a thing and i've seen this uh it's just legend of the sesh you're gonna listen to it for an hour and since him mentioning it i've seen this in a few different places like from like one or two different companies or groups and i'm just wondering how this is allowed because presumably i cannot recreationally do ketamine still but why can i go to like a private company and do like ketamine therapy treatment sounds like how like a like a hick dad babysits the kids it's like just give them horse tranquilizer they fucking sleep on the finger and then you put the baby's mouth yeah yeah and you let him no no not the last part

do they just lick it off and you pull it out very quickly and normally fucked up off of that much vodka they go to sleep yeah they'll be they'll be... That's crazy. Yeah, apparently it's a thing. That shouldn't be allowed. I thought it was a redneck thing, but apparently a lot of people do it. That shouldn't be allowed. It's not. Do you think you grow up? Well, it is, but it's like probably...

Is it illegal to give a kid that much alcohol? I bet it technically is, but no cop, no God-fearing American cop is going to fucking give you shit for it unless you are black. Do you think they grow up to like fucking be addicted because they've been having it as babies? I don't know if it's that much of an impact. It's post-fetal alcohol syndrome. We couldn't explain batteries. We're not going to be able to explain this.

Yeah, but as a baby. It'd be funny if they called it post-fetal for adults. It's because I got hammered at 27. No, dude, you have to... The academy thing is legal because in a lot of states you can legally become a horse. And so then you're able to take...

No, that makes sense. You're the only other animal that can sweat. No. Humans and horses are the only animals that can sweat. You're telling me gorillas don't sweat. They've never sweat ever. That's a lie. They don't.

I know a gorilla and I'll ask him today okay do it you'll be dumbfounded at the answer and then i look at you you know what i i never have never not that you mention it horses monkeys apes hippos all sweat get a fucking job dude i was at hassan's we were it was me and Cutie on stream because you had to bail because your life is a miserable train wreck of scheduling. But I went and we watched. That's not correct, by the way. Interjection.

I did not have to bail. Hassan is a dumbass. What? Hassan messages me at 737 a.m. Hey, can you do the YLYL this Friday? I answer at 1040. What day is this now? This is Wednesday. Okay, now Friday I answer at 1040 This is Wednesday

I answer at 1040 when I wake up No probably not that day's type for me You didn't say probably You didn't say no You said I could make that work or something He showed me This is important Because he hung up on Hasan

And I was like damn he's mad I was also there So it's like probably was hanging up on Hassan. And I was like, that's pretty swag. He's mad. I like that. Well, I was also there. So it's like, probably was hanging up on me too, which is fine. All right. I said to him,

why a while Friday? I said, that's tough to swing. And then he said, cutie said yes. And I said, I have a shoot and I'm going to Vegas. How long,

what time? And then he said, fuck, I was going to do. And then I, and then I, and then the last message i i send is i can do next week because i didn't have the times for the shoot okay and then he said let

me see and then i replied and then he never replied back okay here's the here's the weird part 735 is when he messaged or 737 is when he messaged me yeah i look at his twitter 735 he said ylyl this friday two minutes before he messaged me with ludwig out yes ludwig and cutie that's crazy what a down bitch yeah he just assumed you'd be a down bitch and he's i think because cutie said yes he's down maybe no she would not have spoken for me that's right he he's just he's he you just have to assume that he like when he wants you you have to be free would you ever do that to another man what what he did to you would you ever say while while with amen well and quickly and early and i'm on your side but you've got to be honest i would do the utmost the utmost that's cool

anyway are we beefing with the fear and pod you don't need to lie we're no because will's on it okay well it's fine but anyway that's i did not bail is the only correction okay i think that's fair and i i i didn't blame you for not being a part of it because i i can now see your google calendar which is great and i'm like he's got all that shit and so i don't get mad but uh but i went to the the that stream and it was a while while and it was a lot of fun and there was a video where a gorilla eats his own throw up and that was very funny dude okay so so the video the video of you guys doing this came out today yeah it's on youtube and i watched it it's edited well because none of the bad videos are in it and I I really enjoyed this video because you and Hassan laugh at the same

shit so it's like somebody farts on their dog and it's Hassan and Anthony like crying laughing and then QT just sitting in the background going like what is going on yeah it was great TV it gets in the YouTube video it gets to the gorilla video and it's all blurred out in the YouTube video, it gets to the gorilla video and it's all blurred out in the YouTube video. Right. So, but you can see the title and you guys are losing it. So I'm like, I

have to look it up now. So I type in my search bar six minutes of gorilla throwing up and then eating it because I need to know what this looks like. Bro, it's so funny. You want to shut up? No, fucking it's so funny i want to see it i want to see it no fucking hell i'll not look nick doesn't want to look do you want to see it

the way he throws up is so graceful and then the way he eats it too is like it's like a delicacy like he's like oh what's this do you think animals are like trying to clean it up like spaghetti that fell over or are they like damn second lunch swag yeah it's kind of like it's kind of like if somebody told me that like upper class french people do this in private it looks like what i would imagine that to look like we call this a fourth meal we should out to food we Zipper now. Zipper. Zipper. Zipper can't find it.

Zipper is having trouble. Zipper can't find it. At one point, he laughed at Zipper. Zipper, ha ha. Zipper, it's six minutes

of gorilla throwing up and eating it. I don't want the YOL. I just want the gorilla yacking. Because the YOL video won't even show it. It's blurred out in that one. Yeah,

the way he was doing the YOL was pissing me off when I tuned in because he was clicking on random it was so unhinged he's he's a boomer man so after it ended he was like okay here it is don't look nick is wait where is he is that throw up on his face that he's looking no no he's just picking his eyes and his nose and putting it in his mouth dude we consider like this could just rip us all in two pieces so easily wait you have to go farther watch the video

man bro like see he just spits it up so casually like diarrhea of the mouth he's not yakking he just kind of it just and he's like yeah you know that uh you know that video i show you guys sometimes keep playing a zipper where it's the deer getting eaten by a bear yeah that's from a podcast i used to listen to and just listen now he's licking his own foot just listening to the people on the podcast react to that was so fucking funny. Okay, so here he goes. He's like, ooh. I'm just staring at Aiden. I'm just staring at Aiden.

Ooh, isn't that nice? Mmm. Do you think it's like short-term memory loss? That's just comedy right there, bro. He gets his whole bunch of food. He's like, mmm, yummy. All right, you turn it off. You turn it off.

It's such a big scoop that he gets when he goes down. All right, he's like mmm yummy alright you turn it off you turn it off it's such a big scoop that he gets when he goes down alright it's gone it's gone Nick doesn't like throw up I hate to throw up so much bro so I

after it ended I told him I was like he's like cause he was mad that so many of them were shit and I'm like yeah bro

you gotta like I explained how you do it where it's like you have the mods they like go through it it's media share so you don't see titles and it's like it's way easier and you have someone curate the list he's like you do all that it's like well yeah you got to do that to make sure it's good i love explaining to

streamers when you have tried at something because they're always like they're like well it's like how many you like 10 people doing all that it's like no i just i did it myself and they're like how it kind of was like is that a button in obs like what however his stream setup is really intuitive and cool like ludwig is a caveman using like sticks and and and corn like grains to make his stream happen he's like one of those he's like the guys he's like that i realize they're fake now i found that out he's like the guys. He's like the, I realized they're fake. Now I found that out. He's like the guys making those palaces out of like mud in the woods that look like modern homes. Yeah.

The primitive living people. You're using the most basic of tools to make a, to make a master. You have homemade in your hair. He, he, he's brothers, his brothers talented and does it all.

Yeah. That makes sense. Cause it's a really great setup. Like the way it's like, it's just comfortable. Like the mics always work. It's, it it's utopia i will say basic human rights are there water but then like you i think you allocate others i'm not saying you're a bad streamer anyway just you allocate it into different things and appreciate that that's

not a d you know you're you're good you're good you're good at streaming i was watching your stream right right thanks guys yeah no we all agree, right? Maybe. I gave you a compliment. I said you make masterpieces. So, Eamon, I heard you got poop on your underwear. Dude, you got poop on your underwear? Yeah, poop all over yourself. Been having some pretty rank shits lately.

Wow, dude, that's open. You know what? Actually, I can help you. You know what I can help you? I can help you with your poop and your problems. You can help me with my poop. Yeah. That I've been having. This is still the same problem since Australia, by the way. Oh, boom I can help you. We can help you with your poop and your problems. You can help me with my poop. This is still the same problem since Australia by the way. Look at these! Look at that, poopless.

Oh, MeUndies sent us more underwear. Nothing on those. And so you're gonna put them on. I could poop in them. Hey, put them on, Nadin. I'm gonna hold them for you and you're gonna put these on. Put them on now. No, no, no, just put them on over Aiden. You're going to come put them on. The thing is, you're a... I'm going to hold them for you, and you're going to put these on. Put them on now. Yeah, so... No, no, no.

Just put them on over your jeans. No, no. Take off your pants like they're supposed to be worn. Well, no. You just keep putting them on, and we're going to do the read. So, yeah. This episode is sponsored by MeUndies. So, yeah.

Aiden often just has just dirty, dirty, nasty stuff all over himself. Yeah. Aiden has a skid mark, but it goes all the way to his belly button. It starts at the butt crack, and it comes all the way to his belly button. It starts at the butt crack and it comes all the way up the front. It's like a C-section. He wipes front and back

like a seesaw. Oh my God, you look fucking a little swag. And it's extremely soft. We got little martini glasses. We didn't even get to pick. They just surprised us

with these. They're very comfy. I've worn them before, as I said last time. Where are you going now? What are you going, Aiden? Okay, while he's doing whatever he's doing. Are you just trying to put them on for real? Gonna put them on for real, so we're gonna have you going okay while he's doing whatever he's doing

are you just trying to put him on for real gonna put him on for real so we're gonna have to okay wow so undies it's not just undies it's socks bralettes and loungewear which is cool so you can you know get your whole body put put with soft nice fabrics that don't have poop on them uh and they sent us they sent us the oh my goodness they sent to aiden's naked they sent us, they sent us the, oh my goodness. They sent to Aiden's naked. They sent us this one pair, but you can actually, his balls are like a horse. He said,

he said, they sent us these ones, but you can actually sign up for the me on these membership. It's free to join and they'll send you monthly shit. Every month you get up to 30% off on random fucking shit. You can get these cool martini glass. I think they also have like themed ones like Batman or something.

Maybe you really like martinis and you can show it off with your underwear. They're really comfortable. Yeah, you get up to 30% off. And an even better offer for all the yard listeners out there.

Any first time purchasers 20% off. Use code THEYARD meandys.com That doesn't make sense. Plus free shipping and returns. You just said 30% off and

you said no no no that offer the monthly subscription another offer that's on the table is if you use our promo code me on these calm slash the yard 20% off there's so much to get off there's so much to get off and you can do it in your underwear for me don't you usually don't wear if you're watching me and listening to me right now you could be wearing underwear for me don't wear it. If you're watching me and listening to me right now, you could be wearing underwear for me. Don't you get that? Don't you understand that you could be softer for me? Go to meetundies.com forward slash the yard.

And get underwear for your butt and your head. That's meetundies.com forward slash the yard. All right, everyone. Back to the regularly scheduled meme. Oh, so this weekend I got drunk and I woke up. And sometimes when I wake up, I do work, but I am in a foggy brain state because I just woke up like that one time that I spent too much on football tickets.

Yeah. Well, that's that. That wasn't a foggy brain state. You just did that. No, I had woken up and done it when I signed the email. Oh, you just woke up. I woke up like at 9 a.m. And I just did it first thing when I woke up because I saw my email.

Got it. But now you but now you've drank now i now i am drunk but also still waking up and i still do this to this day every morning when i wake up i like if i wake up at like 6 a.m i'll just check twitter and discord so see if i miss anything and then if i don't i put it down i sleep for another couple hours and then i wake up and do it again and so i do this i do this frequently anyway uh yesterday morning or this morning i think i wake up uh to a twitter message and uh and it's from a creator i had never met but who i think is cool who wanted to collab brad pitt this has happened a couple times past week like the c418 guy the guy who does minecraft music brad pitt messaged me i thought that was cool he turns to aiden all right i lost him i lost him at this message oh no way who's this no is this not isn't this a fan account it's hasbelos he's

got 600 000 followers on twitter if you don't know who he is he's this like 30 year old he's on tour in australia really short guy it's funny because you actually dono-walled him. July 9th is the first message says let's collab. Nothing. Wait, 2021? Oh, 2021. Holy shit. I thought, yeah.

That was a year ago. And then today is when this got set or at least when you showed Zipper. I guarantee if we played Pokemon Shodown, I would leave as a victor. Then you said,

let's do it. So I'm fucking torched because I'm like, dude, Hasbro is kind of tight. Was it not tight a year ago, you piece of shit? I should notice.

Aiden, shut the fuck up. This story's obviously going somewhere. You're being dumb. Just stick with me. I'm telling a story. Don't take it on your phone. Hey, buddy, buddy. Hey.

Wait, wait, wait, wait. I think I know how this movie ends. We don't have to watch The Sixth Sense. I looked it up, guys. I looked it up. So he's fucking dead. Dude, I fucking knew it. Let's get out of here.

I just want to read the memento plot summary to you guys right now yeah you could so i uh but i so i i'm like pumped because i looked he has like 600,000 followers he's dope i'm like okay collab maybe i'm the art i don't know and uh and then i wake up like three hours later and i remember it and i'm like i should message him and i look and it immediately says fan account and then I think this guy doesn't speak a word of English. Like the real husband speaks like specifically Russian. I think a hundred thousand followers. Yeah.

He has more followers than the real husband. What? Yeah. That's how it fooled you. Cause you check. Yes. Yeah. Oh,

wow. But I'm dumb because his bio is literally parody account, all capital letters. I just looked at the follow count and I was like, real. And then I went back to bed. Which is so valid. That's like, man, that's such a colossal. That person is banking on like someone like you not clicking further and just believing the DM.

So we get all the way into a Discord call and he's like, what? He's like wearing a disguise. I'm Husbla. It's just a webcam and just his hat. of the frame i'm too short to fit in dude his actual twitter is shit yeah his twitter is uh it's like nft underscore hospital oh no yeah it's terrible wow yeah so we were in australia i posted a picture on instagram in front of the tour photo because it's really really funny and uh and we were kind of just like what the fuck is he doing on tour is he like skateboarding what's what's his what does he do what's that i don't know what that is so so uh hold on zipper can you uh pull up the

most recent post on my instagram he's getting a workout right yeah yeah zipper's gotta fucking put some work in there so wet um so there's a poster that he's on tour all over Australia right now, but it doesn't like explain if he's doing an act or if it's like a meet and greet or this person. Yeah. Okay. Or if he has like a specific talent, do you know who we're talking about? No.

Oh, this will help a lot. If you know who we're talking about, he's, he's like the, he's an adult, but he looks like a baby. And Oh,

I know exactly what you're talking about. Yeah, dude. Of course you want to pick up my line unless I see it's money calling. Yeah. adult but he looks like a baby and oh i know exactly what you're talking about yeah dude of course you want to pick up my line unless i see it's money calling yeah because that's right that the poster yeah in less i just i just didn't know it was his name yeah and so what what the fuck does he do on tour i mean to be fair like isn't that when most like this is i don't know if he's a youtuber but when most youtubers go on tour, same thing. What the fuck are they doing? What do they do? Like the Jake Paul tour.

But there's an answer to that. They, I mean, they make up some show to fill a certain amount of time. Dude, we should go to the Jake Paul show. This is exactly what his idea was for the dude. Perfect show.

Which is a better idea. We should go to the hospitalist show. Drew, Drew good and beat us to this by years. And what'd he do? He went to the Jake Paul show. Oh, and he was like, I went to that. Was it Jake Paul or Logan Paul?

Which one of the wrestling thing? Logan Paul. This past weekend? That was pretty cool. I gotta be honest. I watched those clips and I was like, this is kind of tight. This is kind of tight. He's doing cool stuff now, except for NFTs.

No, that's cool too. NFTs go. Dude, susan you're so dumb part of me part of me thinks that if you're still into nfts like if you're sticking it out if you're into nfts now it's like at least you at least he's sticking to your guns yeah at least you kind of you kind of believe in the scam remember my interview susan i brought up up Goose Ass and I said, like if Goose Ass, like we agreed in two years, we would look at the value of it and if it was bad, she would like give me money.

It's fucking tanked. All our teams are tanked. Bro. Some random NFC I bought to show to Susan. Maybe if you have fucking paper hands, Goose Ass,

two years from now? That's what Susan is going to tell me. That's when it starts to take off. When I confront her, she's going to be like, you're dumb as fuck, bro.

2024 is shit's about to pop when you when you see her at the uh at the ufc gym she'll let you know what the fuck i will say you said the dumbest thing a human has said in the past year oh i like this i this makes me happy to hear it what i say dude you are in the doritos locos tacos gaming center on your computer and when you're on your computer you don don't really communicate, but you say thoughts out loud. And you pull up the price of Ethereum and you go, I should have bought. Wow. That is really funny. Because I told myself, the reason I said this is more, it was more concrete than like seeing fucking like GameStop and being like it's like oh it was low

should have bought like or like should have called the roulette wheel hits black you're like i should have been black you would say that yeah shit if only i knew what the fuck you have to trust that it wasn't like this that's the thing i will not yeah i have to believe that you're that stupid i have to it's the same thing it's it's the same if i could give what it's like in my head there was uh like when i buy plane tickets and i'm looking at like i was looking at something like a few weeks ago and it was like this like low price and i tell myself because i usually look these things up on my phone or on my laptop or like i'll i'll look at something and i tell myself because i usually look these things up on my

phone or on my laptop or like i'll i'll look at something and i'll be like i should buy that today i should do this today before i forget and then i'm like but i will come back to it and then i move along with my day completely forget about said thing and then check this plane ticket remember days later it's like, I still need to book those plane tickets. And now they're more expensive. And then I say, Oh, should have bought.

It wasn't like this genuine concern of like, I didn't buy, I didn't not buy it that day because I'm like, this is a gamble. No, no, no, no,

no, no, no, you looked at it and you said, should have bought. And then you threw a coconut at your monitor and then Ludwig laughed at you and Nicky wing hit the weed pipe. And then you threw a banana behind you. I've held everything.

I've stuck by my holding guns. He's a hodl. Welcome to the yard. Welcome to the yard. Episode 74. Episode 74. What episode are we on? I know it. 59.

No, it's 56. 57. We are on episode 56 i don't care i don't even care about the competition i do care always and i love okay nick was making fun of me nick was making fun of me for this what no do you guys know do you guys know about hair floss so what was really funny is this goat was goes in the topic channel and aiden just put hair floss and then nick said something new effective oh you just found out no i was so so we had yeah we have a slack channel for topics between only us just for the week when we think of stuff and aiden all he wrote was hair floss and me a distinguished man having been in a relationship for quite a while i see that and i'm like i smoked the city i drank big dragon i'm like

oh you're just finding out about fucking hair floss he said munchkin girls are crazy bro get used to it and then aiden said you know about this all caps why is this a thing i don't know this is just girls flossing with their hair yeah but not only that they're not like um you know like in a spy movie it's like don't worry they pluck one out it goes and it's like we're gonna get in the building and they use it to like it's not like that they use the hair that's attached to their head yeah and they floss and they keep it and then they keep it like as a second meal zipper zipper three took it like pulled it and like took it out also presumably two things guys can't do this yes because it's not long enough most of the time no i think that's

the issue like kyle could do it we should ask kyle yeah kyle could definitely do it everyone here i don't think my hair is long enough to do it your hair is 100% long enough that's the dumbest you ever said you have like three inch long four inch long hair no no no to stay attached to your head i think is what he's saying oh sure you had to pluck it oh but i see but yeah you said zipper three plucked oh she well i guess you have to wrap it around your finger when you floss you don't have to i was thinking dude you can get it so hard to hold it like that hold and then get into your teeth well okay it's not also when you use hair floss and maybe i'm wrong here but it's not like you're going every night through every tooth with the hair floss this is like if something's in your tooth so we were in that yeah we were in the car she's sitting next to me she's like okay i'm gonna do

this right now it's like i i cannot get this like piece of granola out of my teeth and then uh and then she was like watch this and then she pulls it out and fucking viral tweet idea and then and then i'm like i'm looking at her like she's a psychopath like like what the fuck are you doing and she's like it works you know she's solved her problem yeah and then she's figure it out proceeds to say that like no like women do this and why i've lived my entire life without hearing about this. This is just the girl version of a butt shower. No, it's not. Yeah, they hair shower. Just also poop. They've never been showered.

Continue. You're on the right track. You're saying that the mouth is the butt of the girl. Yes. And I don't think that's true. I'm going to go out on a limb. I agree. With who? With you. Yeah, thank you. You're alone now. Do you agree with me oh yeah you did we're on the same hair floss thing me and you i've used random things as

floss like random pieces of paper a lot uh and then one time i use a credit card for a big thing sucking my gap and i fucking gap and i think i think it's your metal apple card because it's so fucking big in search of the chip i think it widened my gap permanently that is why would you do that because i had something in it yeah and now i didn't after you should pave it over i do is i put it in and then i crank it sideways to pull it open and then it falls out it's like a spongebob cartoon and then i go and i close it back I keep toothpicks in my car for this express purpose. For using them on your teeth? That's just to proclaim

your straight edge to everyone. What? Toothpicks. Toothpicks? Make sure you're straight edge. That's not the straight edge way. What are you talking about? Don't act like you know.

It's a mouth thing. It's a mouth thing. Drunk boy. You're saying I have an oral fixation because I'm straight edge? Yeah. Wouldn't it be if I smoked cigarettes I would have that well you do this a lot that's true so hit that shit oh you're back on what other things do they do these mysterious

mysterious beings called girl do they eat their own foot skin i don't know you probably do that it's not an organic idea you have with no personal inspiration thought of that that just came out yeah like the wheels in the stomach thing like after you do petties you just you go nuts no i don't eat you all we that is true the last time we got a petty it ended and you looked at the lady and you were like can i can i keep that could you put it in like a a pedicure it ended and you looked at the lady and you were like can I keep can you put it in a little tupperware for me I want that and I put it in a little circle Vaseline thing

and you bring it back every week this is just Austin Powers just dump it in here this happened in Austin Powers sorry I didn't mean to do that to you i was just gonna say i hate pedicures i love manicures i never i've never done one until we went and got one together are ticklish but only when strangers touch them you should have seen me me and lovely

got one she was fucking rocking my world he was jerking in the chair she was just like doing the the scrubby thing on the callus and i was just like i was going crazy tickle yeah just tickled and i was trying to yeah trying to not be funny is they're like do you want us because they can like shave down the heel and he's like no and then she did it like a minute later oh yeah yeah because i made a joke too i was like i need it and she just kind of laughed and did it anyway yeah maybe she thought you meant you need it shaved oh good point yeah yeah yeah so think before you say what is selena well dude did you guys know selena gomez hasn't used the internet

in four years yeah yeah i don't believe that yeah she. She comes online. She's just like, you guys hear about COVID? Holy shit. What the fuck is this? Is she like not Googling things? I know. Jackson is dead? She like lives off the internet. Like she just doesn't use it.

And if she like needs to read stuff, she like reads book and stuff. And it's weird. Yeah. Because I watch the video. She's been interviewed about it and stuff, but she has like no social media. She has no online presence at all.

It's apparently a decision she made like, however, four or five years ago or whatever. She has no idea who we are. You get one sentence to bait Selena Gomez. That's why you get one sentence to bait Selena Gomez into checking the internet. What is your one attempt?

If you don't look at the internet, you're gay. Yes. And Selena Gomez would just rush to the internet. You'd have to find the nearest home computer. I'd be like, Faze Rug just uploaded. I regret this question. I'd say Dan Benson

started an OnlyFans oh that's actually pretty good where'd she find that out that's a 50-50 of her being like nah I'm good

or I'm gonna go see that or I've been new that's my one pass yeah done done Ben it's my Amish pass

you're Rum Springer that is crazy that to not have internet at all. Yeah. Simple internet arguments are solved by Google all the time. I was just thinking about it. Yeah, I think it's like one thing to social media detox, but to internet detox. That's crazy.

What if you're trying to find out the kid actor who played Anakin in episode one of Star Wars? Yeah, or the Antoine guy from the Sonic show. Yeah. The butler of Sonic. Or if you want to look up hot chipmunks. I wasn't going to say that. This is kind of- Surely, is she cold off internet?

Or like, you know, if she needs to know what time a restaurant closes, she Googles it. Selena Gomez. She has to get maps. Internet. And she pulls them out. And she's tossed by the side of gas stations. Because of white pages. Yeah.

Maybe she has a zipper who follows her around and they can pull up things internet check it just says she hasn't been on the internet I'm happier I am more present I connect more with people it makes me feel normal but it's also like if I met her

and I was like have you seen this funny monkey video that just came out and she's like I don't use the internet I wouldn't feel connected to her that's true I would feel disconnected you're putting up barriers between you and us and yeah imagine you're off for five years and then you see all the memes made in five

years you'd have so much content just lined up yeah you would have the whole entire Ludwig discography to go through to chew through yeah I'm sure that's what she's waiting for Why are you saying it with a weird tone Do you think he's going to beat Jump King You know she's telling her friends

Wait did you hear Simon Ludwig did another You Laugh You Lose Yeah this one You're telling me that he He has one of the Mr. Beast videos On that show so it's like a secret one This is five years ago She just saw mario party league or something yeah she that was that was what made her log off she said this is fucking stupid i gotta

go she she's like that level or that part of celebrity who could just get away with this though it's like there's so much thinking she's just rich enough to like deal with that because even well even mr beast right is like because of where his uh where his career is also could not do this yeah unless you're retired yeah well he needs to like look at the internet because he works on the internet like yeah but you can be an actor and not be on yeah exactly but he uh i think, actually, thinking about it now, Selena Gomez's window into the world is probably ridiculousness. Oh, like where she might see her next? Yeah. No, no, no.

No. God, please. That's where she gets her culture because that's one of the things that shows internet videos. So it's like maybe there is some monkey videos that she has seen. Like, for instance, a monkey eating his own throw up because Chanel West Coast saw it and was like ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. That's what I would send

if we could only send one thing to an alien. I would send Ridiculousness. Ridiculousness. I would send seasons three and four of Ridiculousness. Real vintage years.

I want them to still be on the laptop so they kind of get a picture of what we're capable of. But I don't want it to be like the very first episode. Send them every season except season three so they come to earth to find it all like the pig senior prank yeah yeah that's good one two and four but for aliens we send them three pigs one two and

four and they come back and they're like okay hold. I heard you guys have weed and where's the third pig? Dude. Oh, what was I going to say about sending aliens shit? Oh man. I had such a good idea. They'll never know. The aliens will never know. Do you guys have a senior prank? You went to higher school.

Do you have a senior prank? We had one the year before us. They put a goldfish in a water bubbler and uh and water bubbler yeah our water had arsenic no our water fountains had arsenic in them so they shut them down so we had water bubblers like the ones with a giant like multi-gallon things in it and they put a water cooler yeah oh the ones you can see do call water fountains bubblers true i've never heard this in my life a bubbler to me has always been a small apparatus with water in it to smoke that's what i call aiden anyway they put a goldfish in it he's your little bubbler i'll

put a goldfish in you any any hole you want baby wow which way you want it like david blaine that's right you can In my nose out my mouth Like the condom challenge David Blaine but it's in your ass And you can make it come out of your ass David Blaine's like check your ass And Aiden's like Little goldfish just flapping out of his butthole

At some point he just stopped doing magic tricks He was just like I'm gonna eat glass And he's like, no, watch. No, watch, watch. And he's like eating it. He's like, I'm really eating it. I'm like, I know. Don't do that.

It's not a magic trick anymore. You're just eating glass. Remember when Chad did that? Oh, yeah. Chad ate glass in Australia. In Spice Alley. Yeah. I think we, oh, maybe.

I thought we talked about it episode but he was he was wiping his blood with a receipt i think he did say that i was like hey you want like a napkin he like checks how much blood is on the receipt he goes no it's not enough blood you're fine that's i feel like he doesn't need to do that anymore it's because all the australian because he knocked over a bottle and all the australians started chanting if you break it you must eat it and then so he did. That's because you must. And he's a real one.

By the way, he still has my doubles trophy for Phantom and I haven't seen it in an episode of Cold Ones yet. So I messaged him today. They're all recorded much in advance. Yes, and he said, we haven't recorded it yet, but it's on our set. So soon it'll be there. Yeah. That's it. I was just going to update. just gonna be a doubles champion isn't that special for him anything for views and polish

match made in heaven oh what was it fuck oh ridiculousness you're still on the alien idea dig it deep such a good fucking idea come back to it what's the valerian thing is this oh no no i remember i remember it wasn't aliens did i ever tell you guys uh i tweeted out once um about like like there has to be a video shown on ridiculousness where someone dies and within and i'm not kidding under a minute i think 30 seconds someone an egg profile picture replies with a list of the episodes in which videos depict people dying. Whoa. It was insane.

Early episodes of Ridiculousness are crazy. It's essentially like a live leak show. Like there's early episodes where they're like, hey, watch this. This one's called Funny Fails. It's like funny fails. And then it goes to the clip

and it's like a guy taking a fucking hammer to the head. And Rob, you're just like, oh, I'm a hammerhead. And Chanel goes losing her mind laughing. Dude, the show in the early seasons is fucked. How many episodes did people die? It's like a couple. It's like a handful.

But this guy like lined them all out. And I was like, I replied like, how did you how did you know this? And how do you reply so fast? He's like, just saw it. And I've thought about this and how do you reply so fast he's like just saw it and i've thought about this and i looked it up and i'm like okay do you think like i fall og do you think there's sort of this sadistic this sadistic world where you you join like a red room on tour and and chanel west coast is like the host she gets paid in bitcoin yeah she's getting paid in monero and then you watch chanel cackle as some man decapitates a person in front of you

and chanel west coast the beheading streams yeah and the guy the guy who does the rewinding thing it's just a guy with like a black bag over his head stilo brim and he's like yo yo rewind that shit but he just like moves his hand like that a couple times and graphics pop up and slow motion happens comes back on the body it's just what they did for entertainment in the roman era yeah they just cut off people said you like you'd you'd get your bread and it's all hard and yeah but now now people say it's immoral yeah we always thought it was fun day you ate your hard bread and it's all hard and yeah but now now people say it's immoral yeah we always thought it was fun you ate your hard bread and watch your beheading and then you went back to work you went back to work honest roman well yeah that's your god-given right you get your hard

bread you watch it beheaded god's given right well god jesus christ in the byzantines it was god but before the byzantines it was jupiter what's biz mark you gotta do with this shit bro it was a big deal to the Romans. Yeah, what's this Valorant tier 2 shit, Aiden? Yeah, it's for the primo, dude. What are you saving shit for? Why do you save stuff for the primo? Don't save shit for them.

Because it doesn't make sense. If it's a follow-up to something that we talked about on a primo episode, why would I talk about it in the main episode then they wouldn't have seen the primo because because uh 90 of our viewers aren't subscribed but if you could if you wanted to look at the patreon you could i would love patreon.com slash the yard slash choppo trap house i would love more patreon.com slash before.com slash choppotraphouse. Before subscribing to us, let's get Choppo back ahead of us. So, higher logic, unfollow Slime on Twitter. Just to see if he'll do it. I think he's fine.

I would like more subscribers on our YouTube channel. That's what we should have done for our stretch goals. Fuck the Patreon. I should have waxed myself at 500 grand. I've accepted that subscribers on YouTube don't mean anything. Yeah, but I want a big fucking P. I want medals because I want to kickflip again so archie you up put up a graphic that shows how many of our viewers aren't subscribed like everyone else does

and then slime you're gonna hold it up here you hold it over your head welcome to it if you want slime to stop to hold it higher if you want slime to stop being bald you're gonna want that number to go up and then archie animate the bar to start going up and make a sound what number do you want what makes you happy what percentage i want a million but that's that's a long way off so i can't fucking just say that how about we want to have 400 000 why don't you say you want a million i want a million by september billion dollars we can do that you just want a million just say you want a million. I want a million. By September. Billion dollars. I don't think we can do that. You just want a million. Just say you want a million.

Give us a million subs and I'll put, I'll fucking, I'll do whatever you want. I don't care. I'll do it all. I'll feed myself until I'm big. He'll do crack with Kalen. I'll do crack with everyone who watches. In fact, he might do it anyway. It's the slime YouTube crack world tour and I'll go to every state and meet up somewhere.

And you can all do crack with me. Brought to you by Moment House. So we get in the call with the Moment House guys. And we're like, all right, we've got it. So we've been mulling over a few ideas. You guys watch Red Rooms, right? So we're just kidding. Yeah, she knows what's going on. Yeah, I what's going on can we take volunteers from the audience yeah so one lucky audience member we will kill them on stage because the

only thing they're worried about is like yeah but like how many different ways you want them to see the n-word in chat we have a lot that was a problem in the items thing we got a lot we can people are figuring out how to make their profile pictures swastikas. Your profile picture is just your initials of your account name. They were figuring out how to make it a swastika instead. I was watching AI be developed in the chat.

We need pilots, guys. Stop doing that. Just build a skill. Jesus Christ. You know why? The real reason that people should be subscribing is because it's uh it's been a it's my special day it's national girlfriend day uh no and you're all three of our girlfriend it's my birthday you're a cute little girl not your birthday no it's not birthday tomorrow my birthday is well i was born at midnight oh my god

who fucking cares to be either way and you should subscribe for my birthday happy birthday jesus hi birthday to me because they say i have birthday to me every day because we said it in one episode how about instead of saying happy birthday to you we all turn you out for another hour on this live stream right now yeah okay what does turn you out mean we fucking we it's it's sexual we fill them out like an application oh i see okay i guess yeah i want to i want to be i want to be fed and i want to be huge for your special day i want you guys to make me bigger that's such an insane way to say it turn him i don't know i might have been killing my mind i just never heard so you never heard that i never heard that that's a that's a thing man yeah i mean yeah you never fucking turn turn someone out with the homies?

With the homies? You couldn't watch The Simpsons, so. I think that once we get a hold of you, it's going to go crazy. It's going to stain. You talk a big game. Have you even ever had a threesome? No. Has there ever been someone present

in the room uh that is you know what time i watched no yeah you know what this i think i might have told this poor stop me if i have but my buddy eric god rest his soul he's alive uh but he is he's great we run it down mid he's uh he's like my best friend growing up still still is still keeping contact with him but he uh he hooked up i've known you for a while he hooked up with a girl and i was on his floor and he was on his couch it was a huge party throughout his house and i was like half drunk like trying to go to sleep but sometimes you can't right so i'm just like laying there waiting for my body to shut down and um and he starts having sex with this girl that

he's been seeing on the couch and i'm like probably five feet from him in the dark just like and they think i'm asleep and so i'm in this spot where it's like it's high school so it's like oh if i get up i like fuck with the vibe. Like, like Eric's finally. Yeah, you can't move. I can't move. No, you're stuck. It was like sleep paralysis. But I had to listen to my friend.

Fuck. And then when they're done, you're like, do you need a rag? They're done. And then I get up like a ghoul. God, it sucked. I've told him about that. He's like, really? I didn't even know you were there.

I'm like, I know you would have done something. I'm the closest to a three. So that's the closest reason I've told him about that. He's like, really? I didn't even know you were there. I'm like, I know! You would have done something. It's the closest to a threesome. That's the closest to a threesome I've ever been. I was the Eric side of the equation in college once. Who was your viewer? Who was your cuckold? It was Kyle, who was from the British or US Virgin Islands. And he spoke with an accent like he was Chet Hanks, but it was real.

How does Chet Hanks speak? Welcome, Birka! Chet Hanks speaks like that? No, no. Well, he does like doing that, but it's not how he usually sounds. He talks like that. It's a very different... He 100% talks like that.

Okay, he... Hold on. He talks like that when Slime does his Eastern European voice. He has an actual voice. He just met Jamaicans and got really pumped on it. Yeah. Okay, I get it. So he talks like that right

like you talk like with a perfect australian accent you fucked somebody in front of this guy and he does he talk about the dadapi like they don't become teeth me so yeah yeah he would do all that okay he talked about titty boy which was two chains his original rapper name yeah i didn't know that yeah titty boy and i think he should have kept it i agree and anyway he we shared a dorm and the dorm was like a 10 by 10 like concrete box and i brought a girl back from from from no zipper zero well zipper minus world yeah it's a ball of energy and uh and we'd hung out at the movies and we made out. What movie did you see?

Monsters University. Oh, I also saw that on a date. Yeah. Did you get a boner during the film? No, but she wanted to make out. And I was like,

no, I'm like, I really liked the first one. Pixar. Any other animated studio. And I'm with you, but Pixar is like one of the best so yeah i didn't know it was 3d when i saw it uh so it kind of ruined my because like 3d glasses when you wear

glasses wait what i saw it in 3d oh i didn't realize i bought 3d movie tickets right okay i went i just couldn't watch the whole time that makes sense that's why you wear glasses to this day yeah there's still 3d glasses he keeps on now. He'll never get fucked up again. And so she came back and this is like first month of college. And she was like, it was like late. And she's like, I was like, oh. And so I just did what any guy would do who's fresh out of high school. Finger banged.

Called it a night. I think she was being nice, but at one point she said, how do you do that with your fingers? And this whole time I thought Kyle was asleep. It was like,

well, I'm actually outwining my favorite Pokemon characters. Is this where you learn to mash? Yeah, this is when I was like well I'm actually outlining my favorite Pokemon characters is this where you learn to mash yeah this is what I was smashing and I was just two thumbs standing over her in your cloud nine take captain Morgan pose I was like oh how fast did I get well, I play Mario Party competitively. He's like, what character? What character?

And I thought Kyle was sleeping until I go to breakfast the next morning. And then I walked out to my friend group. And I show up. And they all start laughing. And I'm like, what? And then they're all like, I like open a banana. And then one of them cries like, how do you do that with your fingers did you feel embarrassed eat that for a while no i finger banged in front of kyle it was tight what was kyle doing that night kyle probably beat one off and then tried to go to sleep

he did have a sock that he exclusively came in no yeah he had he like told you about it yeah he'd be like this is my cum sock this is my cum you're fucking with us no he had a He like told you about it Yeah he'd be like This is my cum sock What This is my cum sock You're fucking with us No he had a cum sock Do you still talk to Kyle Uh no Cause after Uh first semester

He went back home To become a DJ Ah That's actually How they're born DJ cum sock You just If you bust in a sock

One too many times You just You learn to scratch with it Yeah it's like going That's what Marshmallow's helmet is. Also, the people were shitting on you in the comments, Aiden, last week when you were talking about Deadmau5 being on the plane or that you may have thought it was Deadmau5 because it was a bald person and they said Deadmau5 isn't bald in an angry tone slash SRS.

Really? Can we pull up a picture of Deadmau5? Is he not bald? I don't know what he looks like. Doesn't Deadmau5 have like the cut? I thought he was bald. He's got like a long tail and big floppy ears and likes cheese. I'm thinking of Skrillex.

Yeah, you're thinking of Skrillex. Deadmau5 has short hair, I think. Deadmau5 face. Okay. He looks kind of cool. I thought he was bald. He wears hats almost always. I think that's why I thought.

I don't think I've ever seen his head and he always wears hats. So I think in my head I just imagined he was bald. He's balding. Mark Ruffalo. It was going away. I'm just trying to be nice. I don't really have a defense.

Him and Selena Gomez are watching. Selena Gomez is going to come back one day and we need to prepare everything for her. Yeah, we do. It's like Jesus coming back. The way she lives her life, I say, is better than Matt Damon. How does Matt Damon live his life? Yeah, he does beat up minorities. He beats up the little better.

What? No, not Matt Damon. That's a different guy. He watches Mark Wahlberg do it, though. Matt Damon probably didn't do this. He was there when Mark did it And he said and I quote fortune favors the bold And the guy died

That week And then Mark was like fuck it Crypto.com How do you like those apples What does Matt Damon do with his lifestyles That What we just talked about You were saying it like he omits a part of his life that we all have.

You made it sound like he's on like. Because the crypto.com. Because he's two in the weeds. Oh, he's two on the internet. He's two online. He's on the r slash Matt Damon subreddit. She doesn't even know crypto is. So she can never shill it.

That's true. She missed out on cryptocurrency. And she's looking at Ehan she's like should have bought yeah you think she's doing right now reading a book probably yeah like playing guitar like enriching her life yeah things that are valuable to her personally and she doesn't care to enjoy herself fuck what are you guys doing listening right now are you being a selena in your life or you're being a yard podcast member are you enriching yourselves this week fellas that was only huh fellas is a gender neutral term in the south have you done

anything have you guys done anything to improve your life i started taking jazz guitar lessons really yeah like in person yeah isn't that funny that is funny yeah you just didn't you was doing that yeah what's the goal to learn how to play jazz on that was a dumb question no to be fair i thought you would have a better answer i just want to i think it's interesting and i just want to do it it's hard jazz is hard better yeah i played jazz drums for a little and i'm like i don't get it yeah i'm committed to being uh all that i can be like in the army are you back to training uh a little bit i i bought a day pass today i worked out a bit but you know i gotta wear a fucking heart monitor tomorrow to like so they can look at my heartbeat to see if your heart if

i'm like fucking cringe or not his heart skips beats it's true like a dj i knew this dj come suck yeah we just have a podcast so I thought oh sorry can you say it again he actually pitched me again sorry we're gonna go back

leave it all in they gotta know about the process but we're gonna go back and say it's me again I'm gonna okay I didn't get you anything for your birthday

you're supposed to say I didn't get you anything no you're supposed to say the heartbeat thing again what'd you get him you get him something I don't don't have anything no i don't think anyone actually knew i knew it was tomorrow it's on my calendar i knew that it was the beginning of august i made plans to hang out with dawson that's a birthday gift for you wait on my birthday we are and then dawson messaged me and was like you gonna be home tomorrow hold on i was like

awesome so sweet i'm like i'm like you know what like i in the beginning of the day yeah he's like what about the second half i'm like well my birthday so i'm like getting dinner and he's like actually i'm like you're coming here for a different reason he's like i'm hanging out with aiden dude that's so funny i'm'm like, oh. I didn't schedule. Hold on. I want to recap to you. Also, Dawson's going to be so mad at you. I messaged Aiden.

Is Dawson coming over? And he goes, he told me that. Those were the words he used. That's a weird thing to say unless he's like, I'm coming over. He said, yeah, he did tell me that. That's the way he said it. Yeah, that was the exchange. It makes it sound like

he goes hey i'm coming over to hang out with you and you just ignored it and you're like i'm aware he's doing it but i won't stop him that's what i'm explaining okay so dawson dawson asked about hanging out early this week and i said yeah yeah we yeah, we should hang out. And then Dawson messaged me today. And then he said, Mike, come over tomorrow. Might not. That's what he said. Yeah, that's the Dawson. That's the Dawson.

So then I said, like, awesome, smiley face. Such a funny reply. I'm happy either way. Let me'm happy either way let me know what time but i i didn't like this is my fault because i just i just might be my last day or i will live a long life awesome smiley face honestly love your results are great yeah well for the best i wanted i did want him to come over but like he kind of like picked tomorrow which is totally which in my head was totally fine because i had not put the effort into picking which day of the week yet and then upon you messaging me i was like oh nick's birthday is

tomorrow and which i did assume you would be doing something with zipper too which i was correct about uh look whenever you guys want to give me presents i've had your birthday in my calendar for weeks same birthday as a moist critical no way yeah you guys are the same are we the same age no i believe he's 27 or maybe 8 27 or 8 so he's really he's like gone soon he's like you're trying to make up for when car Carl called you old But you'll hold that till you die. You are older than me in Carl So do you wanna not me so that's fun if I'm old then you and he's older than both of us Hey, who's driving the car out if you want to just direct both of our energy at him How about you open your gift right now? Oh? his little stupid fanny pack. You're gifted. Oh, I mean, come on.

You got me. I thought it would be nothing. Yeah. You think it would be there? A big old nothing burger. I didn't know it was going to. I thought it was going to be something. No.

What do you have in there? I guess it is weird. Let me rummage around. Me and Aiden earlier. Passport. Why do you have your passport? You are so valuable to Rob right now. AirPods.

You're really aggressive when you're going there. Why right now air pods that's you're really aggressive with your passport you got pure well sans cotton sanitizing wipe right and that side top side top side pen that's cool you got that's a nice pen you got watch stole it from watch brackets why do you have links? I bought watch. This is a bad time to tell this. He bought watch. I got watches for H-Rock's bachelor party. Matching watches.

Everyone's always like, why does slime fucking get so mad at H-Rock? Yeah, bro. It's because Ludwig always thought atrioc was really i got him nothing for his birthday he always thought he was really cool and i always thought i was like why why he's just a dude he's just a dude go back and see ludwig tweeting at atrioc in 2015 saying i can't wait to meet you big bro i did not say that it was close though i can't wait to meet you and for you to be my real brother because i didn't have one and i look at you like one and it's gonna be forever you and me forever and i'll be you a couple years ago after they probably kind of blew up it was like don't worry i'll be able to show you all the the things to teach you the atrioc way and it's like ludwig's old tweets

when he was in fucking i don't know know, teenager. I love Atriox. We're going to go to the wedding. Isn't that fun? We're excited. We're going to go to his wedding. I can't wait to poop on something there. Why would you do that? And I'm going to stop it.

It's like Tenet. It's like Tenet? Yeah. Who's for Nolan movie? I know the movie. We're going to do a temporal pincer to stop's a wedding you're stopping him from murdering everyone so there's another version of me there we're walking all backwards uh-huh and weird i gotta fight him uh-huh that's a cool scene is tenant just primer for normies oh it's not for normies i've never seen it's kind of like

primer in the sense that it's like it's what It's like Science Gates for non-weebs. It's like what people who smoke weed thought Inception was. It's like Dark Souls if they had the portal gun in there. Yeah, like there's a part in the movie where they peak all the audio on purpose. I heard about that.

And it's like, don't do that. That hurts my ears. And they're like, no, it was intentional. He's a genius. And I'm like, that's dumb. It's like don't do that that hurts my ears i heard that was like no it was intentional he's a genius and i'm like that's dumb it's like it's like ludwig fucking i guess anything you do on stream can be genius that's the beauty of the art form what you can pick your audio and it's a bit but in a film you can't do that jay schlatt wrote that for years did he that's like when i used to take my astro A40 mic and bend it into my mouth

and then talk you did that on the yard you're a big mic eater guy you like to put mics in your mouth it's funny to me every time oh my god you can't do it at the same time we're trying to blame you for audio listeners yeah and instead you're actually just really giving it the good

Glock. Yeah. You're a good deep throat. You're fighting a good fight. I think you got a valuable skillset and you'll make it this world. Me and Aiden got a lunch before this and, um,

we went in and the, uh, the person taking our order said to me, um, you were here yesterday to me. And I was like, yes. And then she pointed out my menu and she's like you want all of this again i was like yes she's like thank you and she left and

she had my whole order in her brain and i i uh hate being a regular what it's my least favorite thing in the world why it means you're accepted when i am a regular somewhere not not i don't hate being a regular i hate being recognized as one and when someone already knows my order i i'm like i'm not coming back here mike has said the same thing and i don't understand mike bonded on this because why i think also i think dawson is also the same dawson hates everything when you walk into a coffee shop and they're like i already got it started and i'm like you don't know me wait but they do no because i today i want something different now then you say that and they'll be like oh but i already made it and i'm like we'll throw it away crazy if before this happens this happens you're telling me from the moment you walk in just you walk up they've already

made it so when you're out they're fucking binoculars yeah you you got a little tiny telescope but this literally happens at the place that when you go to the coffee shop it's not one person in black and white churning the fucking machine making there's two baristas one sees you and goes oh i know their order yeah they start making your coffee and the other one goes up and they don't know who you are what you care about and they go what do you want and then you order and the other guy's like oh i already got it for you i used to do this at dairy queen i used to look at the customer and there was a lot of them i recognized and i would be like they want this and i was right pretty much i love being a regular.

I do too. I yearn for it. I hate it. I yearn to find a place in the world. I know I'm wrong, but that's how I feel. I want to walk up and I want to be given my food. And then I want them to be like,

uh, I have to talk to you, and I'm in Japan. And I'm playing video games. And I'm, and I'm, and I'm, and I'm busy.

He's a cartoon sushi. It's real. It's real. I can't believe you haven't gone yet because you can go now yeah but he's been fucking busy it's the tour thing you can also do for business purposes well i don't have a business visa you can do it for me but either way i would i would wait

until a good month you just wait until it's tourism time summer is pretty cringe why why is it because when you're a regular you get like until a good month. We can just wait until it's tourism time. Summer is pretty cringe. Why? Is it because when you're a regular you get like your choice taken away from you? Does that freak you out? I think it's embarrassing to reveal that I have a habit.

So when I come in and they're like, yeah, you come to the same fucking place and order the same fucking thing so much that I'm a person with my own goddamn life and I still remember you. Do you think you're like more individualistic i want to believe i am and they're breaking the illusion even though i'm wrong line economics says that you buy barbecue sauce even though you already have the barbecue sauce at home they're regular but it's the person who works at the grocery store being like all right they just have them all underneath you haven't finished the last one you're like no

i like cracking new ones you were in here three days ago sir it's your fourth bottle a lot of ribs and pussy too and pussy too uh you seen that no you know obama you haven't it's so money dude it's pretty good just a lot of like reading a book yeah it's like it's obama you haven't it's so money dude it's pretty good just a while like reading a book yeah it's like it's obama in college or in like his areas and he's reading from a book actually no i have yeah i have i haven't rock climbed in a while you should rock climb with me again my original goal with rock climbing is just to have stronger forearms and so now i'm starting personal training up and i'm more excited to have a fucking fit bod. So it was really all just about being a strong little boy. That was why I started in the first place.

You didn't want to conquer. You didn't want to slay dragons. I didn't care about like a VX like a certain goal. They don't make that number. Did you think he was about it? No, I've always understood this. But we don't have a thing we do together anymore. So I

want something still. I've just done it less too. It's also a time commitment. Ludwig doesn't play video games with me. He doesn't rock climb with me. You know. I'm trying to find something. You wish you had more Ludwig time. You could also cut out the with me and they're accurate.

Unless you want to do League tonight. He's been playing League. I don't know how to play League. Dude, he showed me. You showed me that game. You know more than me. I never opened the client. League don't know how to play League. Dude, he showed me that game. You know more than me. I don't know how to open the client. League Unrated is such a wasteland.

He showed me a game where somebody on the opposing team had 56 kills in a game. Jesus Christ. Wait, why are you playing League tonight? Because I'm trying to get to level 30. Do you play games for fun again? 30 is when you can start playing the ranked version. No, I have to play them to get to level 30. You need to get to 30 to play ranked games.

No, I get that, but why do you want to play ranked games? Because I want to do them to get to level 30 you need to get to 30 to play ranked games i get that but why do you want to play ranked games because i want to do them on stream to do my promos to one day play with tyler one again my dream who also has big forearms it's all connected favorite content creator it all makes sense i feel like if i start playing league now that's a mistake no i mean that's like saying if i start working out now is it no late no no no that's not what i'm saying at all what i'm saying is I've never... You mean people who work out and they're like, yeah, it's the fucking best. I love it. I feel fulfilled.

Is it too late to stop being racist? When I meet people who play League of Legends, they're miserable. They hate their lives. No one likes the game. So it's like to pick it up now would just be committing time to being sad later? Yes. Which is wild. But I could just not smoke cigarettes.

No. League is fun. But you talk like, look, do you think Miles is happy? No. That's my fun. But you talk like, look, do you think Miles is happy? No. That's my point. The dirty secret is League is a fun game and people always dog it and say it sucks. But it's no different than when like you're shaking your head and you also say slurs for eight hours playing Valorant. So it's like, it's true.

It's true. It's true. Dude, we were playing the other night and uh the account i play on when i play with nick ingling is ludwig fan 420 and uh and i haven't played i haven't played valorant in like fucking months and i i like i keep passing aid in the house and i keep saying to him like you know when i'm back bro it's fucking over and he's just like you don't you're not gonna play you're not gonna play i just keep passing him saying shit like oh i come back to valorant and uh i happen to have two top frag games when i come back which is terrible for aiden uh because i was bragging about doing it uh anyway

and uh the way so i played smokes and uh we're playing again and aiden has a bit when he plays valor with nick yingling where he goes do you guys think it would be cool to be ludwig's personal assistant assistant and then he says that to the to the random yeah I said to our teammates I'm like do you guys know who Ludwig is what a cocksucker

would it be cool to be that guy's PA no and he's like oh well I think it'd be cool or whatever

and then Yingling is just losing his mind in the discord which is awesome he thinks it's funny so I'm on Ludwig fan 420 and someone in our

game is just like you like Ludwig and I like and uh and someone in our game is just like you uh you like ludwig and i like i haven't spoken in game once the whole thing and i'm like uh i think he is the best streamer no competition and they're like oh uh cool and then it's just like i don't care and there's a and so aiden like loves it he's like dying laughing because i'm just saying like what do you think he eats for breakfast i was like asking questions to people and they're like they don't care like they're just like going b and i'm like i'm like i'm like yeah a lot of actually plays with judge so i've been playing judge too it's pretty good gun and they're like not acknowledging

me and uh and aiden aiden keeps doing the bit where he's like you guys think it'd be cool to be his personal assistant and uh one of the one of the girls on our team is like uh like yeah i don't uh i don't really like lud i don't really like ludwig at all and we're really called like oh and she's like more a fan of the podcast and we can tell we can tell that she knows who we are and we're like oh we have an ally and fucking with this other guy. But she never said it explicitly. So the whole game, we're just owning this guy who doesn't give a shit at all.

Because he goes, alright, what's the plan, guys? And Yingling goes, it's simple. And we all start dying laughing. And the guy's like, why are you all laughing? And you hear him going like, he's like, oh, it's this lovely guy's catchphrase i tried to do this again last night and the jet the jet i'm a fucking real human you guys are such a story it's so weird

shut the fuck up the jet I'm like do you think you know do you think it would be cool to be his assistant think it'd be cool and Yigley hates this bit Yigley gets so mad every time I do it which is the reason I keep doing it yeah

and the guy the jet is like yeah it might be pretty cool. And then he waits a while. And he's just like, you kind of sound like Amit. Wow. And then Yingling gets on the mic screaming. That's his time.

He's like, he's fucking got you, bro. He's fucking got you. You can't fuck with him. But he's just yelling it all in game. I wish if Yingling didn't smoke so much weed i think he could take advantage of that situation where it's like if you ask that question like hey you guys think it'd be cool to be ludwig's personal assistant then you get something like he's like hey do you guys think it'd be cool to get turned out by ludwig and everyone that lives in his house

like a fucking animal. Anyway, guys, hope you got turned out listening to the podcast this week. If you did, enjoy the Patreon episodes, maybe. If you got some extra bread, extra time. This is our friend Ludwig, who is more of a cardboard cutout in which to throw darts at. It'd be good to be my personal assistant. Let me know in the comments. And your Drake song this week is uh up all night featuring nikki minaj uh that's the one where he goes trophies nope we don't got no awards and uh all right everyone thanks for tuning into the yard and we'll see you

in the premium episode in the patreon last name amen uh bye