The Yard - Ep. 58 - Family YouTubers are the Worst

Episode Date: August 18, 2022

This week, the boys talk about Aiden's trip to Paris, Ludwig copying XQC's stream, and why Tom Scott wouldn't go on Mogul Money Live.

You said you wanted to get involved. Ami, ami, ami! It's ami for me! Don't say ami. Ami! Oh, Ami for me! Don't say Ami! Ami! It's Ami, oh man! So how was it? How was the food? Are we recording?

How was doing it without me? I was taking my fucking coffee. Yo! Hold on. Yo Ludwig's raw, no cap cap I gotta put in the phone no you think he's cap no cap you think he's wrong do yo for real goofy I took my water too I'm minus two demerits yeah I will say Ludwig to answer your question Ludwig thought the episode was so good that he wanted to upload it on the main channel I also just wanted to not miss a week.

Well, I mean, what I'm saying is Aiden, not having him on the podcast you thought was such a benefit. So good like most, like the other episodes that we do. Similar in quality to the other good episodes that we have done. I forgot what it's like when he's here.

I got used to it. You dominate a lot. Like like do you know that You kind of take over There's four of us It's a problem Remember the Australia episode You kept pretending you were in the Matrix Yeah

Every shot of just you two In that episode I'm doing this On the other camera Yeah we were tired of that shit No one's seen the matrix bro. No one cares. What level are you on, Lily? Put your fucking phone away.

I'm putting Aiden's demerits in my phone. No you're not. Name your favorite demerit. Aiden's minus two, Nick's minus one, Slime's plus three. Wait I'm only minus one? Plus three? Wait Slime is plus three? Let's go! I have merit. How do you get plus points? He's precious.

Let's go. He doesn't even live with us anymore. That's probably why. That's why I'm precious. It's a factor. It's because all my evil traits are just contained in my own home. Yeah. And you just see the best of me all the time.

Isn't that right? You see the best of me now. You're like a Minecraft zombie. Dude, he's like Mewtwo King. Explain. Bald. And then he was... He's been at video games. Hasn't written a book. Now we're getting personal. Damn, bro.

Dude, he's... Aiden loves shitting on it. He'll come back when he finishes the book. He has been talking about the book since I got my job at BTS. And until he finishes the book, you can find him at twitch.tv. He drops the book.

He drops it, and it's Hustlers Academy 2. He's like, bro, I just found out about Andrew Tate. Give me another six years. He wrote my book. In M2K's book, it just says that you can down tilt after the down throw he's like just found out about star wars fuck i have to rewrite my whole book you can actually find andrew tate's course on metafy did you guys

dude that that's the future that's what i feel like that's what that weird Metafy like CEO would do Like he probably reached out and be like yo Homie dude Let's fucking let's build Do you wanna Do you wanna get your shit on our shit John the CEO He hits up He's like me you and one

Software engineer from San Francisco We can do this It's Hustlers Academy on Metafy, but the coach is still IBDW. Yeah, so you just gotta like they can't try. They just can't try, you know? Anyway, he's the same as Mew2King because he was

in the gym working out to Undertale music. I was. They're the same. When I was walking in from my Vesper ride, it sounded like a fucking ice cream truck in there. Because it was like, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum. Is he synchronizing?

Like an NPC would work out in a Pokemon game. Yeah, and then a lot of people made fun of me, and I'm like, get out of here. I'm getting fucking Swollen hot and cool You're dumb and then he did He fucked off real fast And you had a little lizard in your shoe

I don't know if it was the perspective Of the video the lizard did not look Small No he was small He's like the lizard you see outside Is he the same type of guy I think so My feet are normal size I can put my foot next to your face You're size 10 right to see outside. Is he the same type of guy? I think so. It's because his... It's because...

What? My feet are normal size. I can put my foot next to your face. Your size 10, right? Like 11. It depends on the day. Well, I recently got my head

hit by a shrink ray, so... Small feet. He got hit by a shrink ray. Oh, you like that? Fuck, I do. I do like that. That's what we bring to the podcast.

Look, you don't live here and he was in France and, and we hung out, and we figured it all out. We're chill now. We watched Nathan for you together. We did. We're chill now, too. We watched the rehearsal all the time. Hey, Dan. Enemy.

So, Aiden's been a whole lot of bonding while I was gone. Yeah, there has been a lot. Oh, and we said some nice things, too. Did you hear about it? Gross, dude. Nobody leaked it. Isn't that fucking disgusting? Shut up. Let me tell you why let me shut up let me tell you why

let me tell you about you shut up let me tell you why this guy's fucking disgusting last on the episode we were talking about like how we would say a bunch of nice things about shut the fuck up i'm talking we would say a bunch of nice things about aid and how much we like him as a friend and we said nobody narc nobody narc he went and watched the Patreon episode on Patreon by himself I bet he was like I wonder if they talk about me did you subscribe to

watch it this is a podcast version of googling your name I just wanted to see the first one that I wasn't in I wanted to see what it was like I had the exact opposite reaction I clicked on the cold ones episode and I went I don't want to watch this and I closed exact opposite reaction. I clicked on the Cold Ones episode and I went, I don't want to watch this. And I closed out.

That's how I felt about the Carl Jacobs one. I was like, I don't want to be, I can't do this, but I forced myself to and then I realized Carl Jacobs is funny. It's like watching someone

fuck your lover. Yeah, it's like listening to a young 23-year-old who hangs out with Mr. Beast fuck every single one of your friends. Suck and fuck them hard. Yeah, I wasn't on the

I Did A Thing episode and I was like, oh, I want to watch this. I was excited to watch it. I'm halfway through it and I scroll down to the comments and everyone's like, Nick's looking hotter now. Nick looks amazing now. I'm like, now I don't want to watch it. I feel like shit. The comments on the cold ones,

the first 30 minutes was like, best episode yet. Fucking couldn't even notice what it was. I did read those and a tear streamed down my face. I was like, he doesn't deserve this i did read those in like a tear strewn down my face i was like he doesn't deserve at the 2 hour 27 minute mark of a 2 hour 28 video a minute video ludwig's not here didn't even know i'm like whoa thanks man appreciate it just started a little you're you're there's an episode of metalocalypse where pickles is like has a brother and they call him rich bitch or his brother calls him rich bitch because he's in a famous band and they just make him pay for stuff that's tight yeah and that's me no that's

just unrelated i was just like because that would have been hurtful yeah other stuff cool anyway we said nice things is it do you now hate slime because he's your worst friend no okay but is that why you messaged me what you did while you were gone yeah and then he dude i sent in a message and i was like what did i say like you're the am i your worst friend that you have am i that you asked you this is out of the blue by the way i opened my phone i'm getting this at like 6 a.m like my time if you didn't know he didn't drink, it would seem like a drunk text. And I open it up and I'm laying, I'm laying next to zipper three

and I open my phone. So she's reading the text too. And it's just a, it says from Anthony, am I the worst of like the three friends? And I'm like, this is just by the way,

there's just French phone companies. He actually said, love you, bud. But you just go through the French phone company and they turn into something negative. There's no way to send positive messages in france it's just less amounts of anger uh so is what's the answer did you reply yeah he gave me a really thoughtful reply and i'm like come on bro you're supposed to say yeah go fuck yourself and then you go yeah

you don't understand that but he said you don't get it He said how he appreciates you as a friend and things Yeah, no, he was I'll read it out loud Since you want to fucking act out We're being Since you want to act onions I was vulnerable If it's a vulnerable thing, you don't have to

Right after I woke up You woke up, you cried a little bit Went and got a baguette He said, I think you and me I always saw as the closest for a long time And it's interesting Because I think last year My relationship with Nick and Ludwig grew a lot And I know it's a cop-out but i really think it's about

even between the three of you for a different reason that's so sweet what's the different reason and then i was like can i ask why you asked i said no kill yourself and then i said i said i said no I'm only asking as a meme I'm not having a watershed moment me and the boys were joking about it

and he said it's on the nose cause I think the old me thought more about stuff like that and then he did smiley face

and then three colons or three parentheses can you show me how he did a smiley face cause I've always hated how he does them it's colon

colon three parentheses oh that's fine no cause when he doesn't like that it's when he's doing the thing in real life where he's like and he said I like that we are all so close man doing the thing in real life where he's like, hmm.

And he said, I like that we are all so close, man. It makes me happy. I was actually worried for a long time. Me and Lud, and me and Nick would never be as close as me and you.

But now, look what happened. So what happened is you fell down the fucking ranks, my boy. Yo, you're washed. From one to tied for one. You're like the Ken

of Aiden's friends. Yeah. Yeah, but I was the first and I was the best. Your motto. He'll never forget about... He figured out how to grab, which is like loving, like hugging him. You're like the Ken of Aiden's friends. Yeah, but I was the first and I was the best. He'll never forget about it. He figured out how to grab, which is like loving, like hugging him. Yeah, he taught me how to hug. He really is special.

From there, our relationship skyrocketed. But the thing is, he'll always be comparing that new dick to mine. You know what I'm saying? On the gym. Tell him what I said. Friendship dick. Yeah, that new dick is always going to be like like I'll be the template for him to play it against like tracing paper. I'm the Juan of your love.

That sucks. Unrelenting. Unrelenting and loud. Well, that was one on this trip, Zipper 3 was so bad I kept tweeting at Huggerbox. I was mad you were doing it. Why the fuck are you biting out to the goal

Please fuck me Please fuck me I just want to have the weirdest It's like what is he thinking about It's him tweeting at Huggerbox I bet he's cheating on me It's just a screenshot of him Not being respectful

Honestly a panel is the best case scenario for you to get this ranking Which I agree to it this ranking Which I agreed with That's why I stuck up for you Yeah That was so raw Is he big? I love when he talks about brackets I disagree

I think Juan should have been third And they're dumb And that's it They're dumb Who's dumb? The panelists Why? The liberal

Because he should have been third They do unpaid work Point one off left Shut the fuck up bro Then fucking You fucking What did you wake up and do today? You signed off on a six figure expense For Aiden and you call them a pussy for asking you about it

Yeah, it's true. These guys are making fucking Brackets and shit and rankings for no money ever don't care Someone with a lot of influence and reach in this space. I want to say I think the panel is false and phony The algorithm makes sense and wheat is the worst of them no on september 6th harass wheat september 6th we're coming for them i will start again on january 6th we destroy the mail-in stats discourse we rate them i It's funny because if wheat wasn't there, I'd be on board with this. I'd be the first one

fucking with my pitchfork. They're fine. They're fine. All the other... Oh, shit, bro. Dude, now you're on our side. It's only because wheat... Wheat's their shining crusader.

So I buy out wheat and then we can crusade? Yes. Dude, how about this? At the beginning of every year, we randomly generate a top 100. And then every match after that, you play to influence where you're at. So Mango gets ranked like 90th.

And he's like, I have to go to so many tournaments. And he just bumps up real quick. He gets a huge win, jumps to 50. And then Rick from Indiana is number one. When eventually Crudo is ranked first, it doesn't attend a single event. He gets taken down by someone else winning a lot. I see. Okay. Yeah. Like a single event. He gets taken down by someone else winning a lot. I see, okay.

Like a tennis elo. I love every person that comes into a thread about rankings and is like, hey, why don't they do elo in Smash? And then everyone loves linking the old rank or the AMB article where Hanky Panky was

fifth in the world because he just never left Ohio. Like, yeah, so this is why ELO didn't work. Ambie is the only other. It's Wheat and Ambie. It's the Mario and Luigi of Melee Stats and then the rest of them go fuck him. Every one of them go fuck themselves.

What about Edwin? No, Edwin can suck a dick. Here's why. Here's why. Listen to me. Edwin, you remember when Wheat stayed with us? Because he's our friend and we like him Edwin would message we and be like Yeah keep keep like fostering that Relationship with the fucking with Them over there with like the Ludwig crew

Because it's like a valuable relationship Yeah he told me that and I was like That guy can go fuck himself also he has me blocked on Twitter because I posted Mario Goatsy a lot Honestly it's fair That's fair The first part is not fair The first part is not fair because I posted Mario Goatsy a lot. Honestly, it's fair. That's fair. The first part is not fair. The first part's not fair,

because I barely spoke to Wee in my life. Yeah, it is. That's true. Seems like a great guy. Barely ever hang out. If anything, Edwin, he failed. Tremendously. What a piece of shit, bro.

I know he's going to DM me after this, too. Bro, can we chop it up? And I'm going to tell you right now, no, we can't. Chop it up. No, we can't fucking chop it up And I'm gonna tell you right now No we can't Chop it up No we can't fucking chop it up You can't chop it up It's unchoppable Yeah it is

I don't believe anything's unchoppable This is unchoppable I think you get me And you take Hitler in a room I thought you said Hillary Oh the dark triad I thought you said Hillary And that's funny

I did I'm a gun I'm a gun With two bullets Ludwig Intrude Hitler And Leffen In a room

Oh man Mango Ride Mango Mango So I mean For everyone Who's wondering

What the fuck We've been talking about For the past Seven and a half minutes They got it They figured it out It's We like

Super Smash Brothers Melee a lot. And yesterday, our GOAT won. For the first time in a while. He was doing so bad for the past six months. They ranked him 11th. He's never been ranked outside the top five in a decade. And he won.

And then he was like, fuck everyone in his interview speech and his hype. He was talking like me. What was his last all Fox tournament? Is that the key? Well, I mean, I think he did that. Is swag dead? I think the key is just winning.

He did a wave dash too. Which was last week. He played Falco. At this tournament? Yeah. He played Falco against Ackman. Also, his Fox swag is like a crazy little man. Yeah.

So, swag is not dead. The FD game? The FD game was unreal Anyway, very high we make it back. We get very high get into smash I unless it's ultimate because Steve exists you get a lot of DMS though I hey love the pie listen you guys talk about smash a lot And I just want to know like how can I start playing stop asking me that? Don't be my god be mean people who are annoying that's okay. Just go to slippy GG no go to blippy GG and it'll explain

everything hey now okay go creepy gg related to smash I I met up with a smash player while I was in uh switzerland because him and his uh it's y'all riding for those who know and him and his girlfriend uh took us hiking and swimming to kill you because he's a luigi player and to kill us stab me in an alleyway asking if he could have a bite and there was no food anywhere and he says where's the nipple for a line that's why so is that what is that? Is for line ray like did you like a lot of our you speak French? He was Swiss German No, he's from the French part of Switzerland. It has a bugger sign does the accent better than me Like a womb

I didn't know German he was a friend this sea is like a womb and we were talking about Melee for a bit and he was explaining like some of the old like Swiss players to me and like who came up

like when he started like who's gotten into the scene now who the newer people are and he was talking about this old player named Omi who you would go over

with and like play play with sometimes in I think geneva and uh they would get together and omi's just like this older dude who got into it like even even when he got into it around like 2013 he was already like in his 30s or something i think and uh he's just like he apparently he's like a really fun guy but he does like a lot of drugs and uh based in zippers clapping and one day they were hanging out and playing melee Apparently he's a really fun guy, but he does a lot of drugs. Based on Zippers clapping.

And one day they were hanging out and playing Melee, and he had a vape. And he hits the vape while they're playing, and he looks to Yarriden, and he's like, you want to hit this? And Yarriden's like, no, I'm not really into nicotine. And Omi's like, oh, it's not nicotine, it's DMT. What? Just and the glow stick

Gradual than offer It was like dude. You're doing DMT right now. He's like yeah. I just wanted to see what it was like if you played melee If you are actually have four CBS play and watch it Why do you have to actually have 4CB use play and watch it he's like dude why do you have 600 teeth by the way I didn't even know you could vape DMT like that's where I was I'm talking to a dude in Thailand right now through the neural network

that's a little background on Swiss Melee that's how they get down in where they put all the bombs on their bridges yeah to keep to keep the Germans out well not just the Germans, but everyone. Everybody. How was it, your trip?

It was fucking awesome. Where did you go and what did you do? And keep it brief, because I don't know where any countries are, so I will have a short attention span. I went to France and Switzerland, to Paris and Zurich. What is France? You're the same way with countries like you are with our guests. I've never heard of you.

What does that mean? What do you do? Like, what is your thing, France? What's your thing? And then they're like, we don't know. How far is that from Florida? And they have GameStop. So I was like, Lichtenstein? You can't get me. You can't get me. Oh, yeah. Lichtenstein.

Yeah. Real funny. But yeah, I went to I've been to Paris before for a melee tournament, but I haven't been to Switzerland before but yeah i went to uh i've been to paris before for a melee tournament but i haven't been to switzerland before and i went to zurich and zurich zurich is like maybe go to the airport uh nice airport also went to lucerne which is like near zurich they make milk they do that maybe all the milk is made in there zurich is the most it feels like it shouldn't exist. White person moment. White person moment. Central, old town, Zurich,

white person moment. I fell at roots with who I am. Okay. I actually found out I'm Native American while I was there. I'm a jerk. I'm a jerk. How many times has someone said,

I'm a drop Cherokee? Dude, I saw a guy... I saw... It's not like they're talking about adding oat milk to their coffee. I'm a splash of Cherokee. I saw a guy. I saw like they're talking about adding oat milk to their coffee. I'm a splash of Cherokee. I saw a guy yesterday who had a like a triple XL shirt on, but he's just like like my body type. And it was a lion with dreadlocks.

Yeah, that was. And he was a white guy. That was that was just that's like in Breath of the Wild when the sky turns like all the stars. He looked almost exactly like DJ Z made before he transitioned himself into a skin injection. Yeah. Yeah. Thank God someone answered the call with the Google Drive. Like, anyway, Zurich.

You love Zurich. You're getting in touch with your ancestral roots. It's almost Zurich. It was almost like fake how like well put together it was, especially like the central part of the city. And I I'm just kind of like looking around. Everything's like kind of like immaculate and pretty around

this lake with like the mountain backdrop. And I've never seen anywhere with like a higher percentage of like nice cars. Like there's every other car is like a luxury vehicle I saw like more Ferraris and Lamborghinis

in the span of like two hours than I have in my entire life it was like very bizarrely wealthy I didn't expect it to be like nothing bizarre about Nazi gold amen dude I learned more about that too apparently a lot of the like Jewish families in Germany that were fleeing

put their money into Swiss banks. Like, we'll send our money out of the country before it gets frozen. But then they died. And then Switzerland just kept the money. Oh no, we got all this money. Oopsie bears. Yeah, I didn't know that. I learned that on this trip.

Jesus Christ. We should get rid of it, right? And then they all bought it for every person in the country. We should just park them out in front of our bank. And they'll look nice. That's crazy.

Yeah. And so it's like this, it's like this, it almost feels fake, like how perfectly it's put together. It didn't feel it sounds horrifyingly dystopian not fun and cool in a way yeah it was weird it was like so nice i was like i don't know if i would want to live here like it would be it would be almost weird and i was

walking around and i i walked by this restaurant and then there was this woman who was like in in uh leader chef outfit and she was sitting at a table like scrolling on her phone with her like hitting her vape clearly on her break and i saw her and i had a thought in my head i was just like okay they're just like us what do you mean they're just like us like at the end of the day it doesn't matter how perfect he means women they can be chefs too they're just like us it doesn't matter how perfect. He means women. They can be chefs too. They're just like us. It doesn't matter how perfect your country is. It doesn't matter how good your public transportation

and social systems are and how pretty your fucking city is. It's like you're still addicted to social media and hitting your face. You expected her to be like reading War and Peace. Yeah, honestly. Like every Swiss citizen is like, no, I don't really have Twitter,

but I do read a lot of books they're like the way a truck which is he was she's still on her break like hitting the vape and except she's like gorgeous like nine out of ten like right people looked surprisingly normal they're really all the stare every time I went to europe uh or like not the swiss europe adjacent nope yeah yeah i just think the swiss just don't have it not those mountainos yeah so i'm being like it's crazy everyone in europe is asian because he just watched squid game that's where i think it is the only people you saw i compare how you make money you're either tsa agent or asian i feel like i compared it to Sweden in my head there where like in Sweden I feel like every 10 minutes

I thought I saw the most beautiful person I've ever seen and in Switzerland everybody looked pretty normal. Yeah, so they just dog shit fucking like they got hit in the head with a boot. Yeah, that's like a shoe print. Like a big boot shoe. Like a nasty Swiss boot on their fucking toes.

Just beaten. Sounds like you had a great time. How's France? Big boot shoe. Like a nasty Swiss boot on their fucking toes. Just beat it. Sounds like a lovely trip. Sounds like you had a great time. How was France? Fuck Switzerland. I don't give a shit about that. Talk about the real country. Talk about the motherland.

Do you know what Paris Syndrome is? I was just gonna say that. It's when you go to Paris and you think it'll be pog and then it sucks and it's a big thing mostly in Asia because they love Paris.

Yeah. Gay Paris. It's the most traveled destination point in the world. Even, they even say that in Japan, where it is most prominent. They speak Japanese and they're like, gay Paris. We need to go to gay Paris. Yeah, honey.

So save up. So save up and we'll go. And it'll be the best trip of our lives. I had Paris syndrome like big time the last time I went. What? Yeah. It was like. You're so worldly.

How did you think that it was gonna be like a... I think you just... There's kind of this very dramatic special view of Paris that gets built up in your mind through media and things. And then you go and it's kind of a disappointment. But this time I actually had...

Yeah, it kind of smells. Does it? Does it stink like shit in Paris? No, it smells a bit like sweat and work and love. So just hard effort. Yes. But not like shit or piss or pee. No, not gruel. Or nasty like dirt. You know where it smells like pee?

South Carolina. You've been to South Carolina? I've been as well and I cannot confirm the pee smell. I think just like weirdly like humid places sometimes just smell like that's where we went no we went to North Carolina oh it's a different one yeah oh man so you had a good time this time yeah you didn't get disappointed it was great I actually had a way better time.

I don't know if it's because my expectations shifted or because we saw a lot of different things in the city, but I had way more fun this time. Did you rent a Vespa? Did not. Was everyone rude to you because you were an American gaijin desu? No. I thought they would be more rude, and they were not.

I think people overplay that. Yeah. Not in Italy. It wasn't overplayed. They weren't rude. Italians were evil people. Oh, they were so nice. What are you talking about?

You didn't leave the house. I didn't leave the house. When I hung out with you guys and we got food, except that guy at the restaurant who was really nice, but even then he seemed like he didn't want to be- That was like one of the two guys you met. No, it was like a bunch of people at coffee shops, a bunch of people in the airport. Everyone was like fucking couldn't be fucked, bro. You're just talking about i disagree what i think people are less fucking work focused so maybe they seem more

aloof but they were generally well-mannered i think italians don't have a part of their brain that makes them nice you're italian oh you know what well i'm glad you had a good what, you're right. Well, I'm glad you had a good time and you're racist for not learning any words there. There was one last thing that I thought was really funny was there was this guy at a beach or like a beach swimming hole, whatever, along the lake.

And there was this dude who was absolutely jacked. Like comically, like if you drew a cartoon character, how abs would look. He had like a circle around his abs that outlined them. And then divvy up. Like a thumbnail. Like a fucking eight pack in between.

A red circle. And he's just like doing workouts, standing around shirtless. Among all these people laying in the grass, like enjoying their sunny afternoon at the lake. And, uh, he's like kind of walking around after his workout is done. And he kind of like goes and washes off the, in the water,

like a fucking model would, he's got like drops all over himself. And, uh, you know, he, he's very stereotypically hot. And on the way back from the lake,

when he's walking, he goes over to this, uh, woman who's laying down next to her friend and he starts a conversation with her and i'm sitting right next to them and i can hear them talking in english and at the end of the interaction he asks for her instagram and like or like to search him on instagram so that they can follow each other and she just like awkwardly like says, like,

I don't really have my phone right now. I can't really, I can't remember. Yeah. And I'm, I watched this man get rejected in real time. Wow. And it's,

it's really funny because it's like everything. He looks like the Chad me, but he almost looks exactly like that body. And I'm watching that guy get rejected. And I'm like, see, it doesn't solve all your problems. No, it doesn't. That's what you should know. This whole interaction, if I could have filmed it, would have solved the incel crisis.

It's like, see, it doesn't do it. The incel crisis, like it's an economic situation. There's too many incels, not enough housing. Just watch this Chad guy get rejected. But then they would just blame the woman. Male gaze versus female gaze. I'm okay with both. I'm okay with all gaze, Ludwig.

Fucking weird to choose, man. Oh, is that the joke you did? Yeah. And then he did it. Co-opted. I was trying to say, I was going to say, what does that mean? But now I get it. Because I knew when I said male gaze versus female gaze, that joke was going to be made.

So I tried to jump the gun. Now I understand you. I understand you now. Okay. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Stop touching me.

I don't want to touch you, man. I can't believe you didn't learn more French. Let me touch you. I'm disappointed. Yeah. Well. Next time. What words did you know?

What words did you find out? He doesn't know one fun swear word for the road. Oui. Oui. Oui. You know oui. Oui. Here is the world.

You said you know cervix too? What's that one? What's cervix? It's because you're supposed to say the word is and it keeps going and that's but but it's still like

you still get it. You're still talking about a cervix. Yeah, but is that what it actually means? It means no, it's like greeting. They just say cervix is a greeting.

They say cervix. What's going on? It just means yo. I'm beefing with Carl Jacobs. Good news for you. That's huge. It was not just me. You're the one that was most mad. Nick was the most mad when I would say I love you to Carl.

He was the most mad. I'm mad about everything. I ignore his anger. It is uniform. I get the same amount of mad when he didn't buy enough dried mangoes to put in the fridge. Why are you beefing with Barles? Barles Bunear?

It's because I have a the Studio Ghibli concert I'm going to this Thursday. It's like Joe Hisayishi. He's performing in New York. I got tickets for me and Cutes. Then Cutes for Gore. Then scheduled Girls Camp. Girls Time. He's performing in New York and I got tickets for me and cutes Yeah, and then cute for gore and then scheduled girls camp girls time girls I did with lady girls scheduled it over it and I was like and then she changed it

I was like, oh, you know gonna do all that He changed it, but her schedule so booked and she doesn't really give a fuck about joe he sayishi and studio Ghibli music No, she actively asks not to watch anime. Yes. But she was still going to go. But I was like, you don't have to go. I actually really don't mind. I'm not saying this is like a passive aggressive way. I actually don't mind if you don't go.

Like, all right. She's like, maybe you ask someone to go with you. And I was thinking of who I could ask that I think would enjoy specifically that. And I talked to Carl about it. And he's a Studio Ghibli nerd. I didn't ask any of you guys. This is a reveal here, too. Yeah. No. See, the thing is, maybe a year ago we would have been

like, wow, really? But now we just expect you to be like this to us. I would have gone. You would have gone? I think everyone would have gone. I love New York. But I don't think you necessarily would have cared about the concert. You would never go to that concert. Yeah, but it's not something you particularly care about.

Yeah, you would have had fun. We would have had a great time and we're friends Like you would have liked it I was trying to ask someone You would have had a good time You literally decided to watch Shrek 2 instead of Spirited Away At our fucking camping trip I went to the scene Spirited Away like 8 times I went to the Legend of Zelda symphony

Uh nerd I listen to Undertale music when I work out Nerd So yeah no wait let's hold on You should have asked us No I listen to Undertale music when I work out. Nerd. Okay. So. No, wait. Let's hold on. You should have asked us. No. Now you're on the show.

No. I agree with you that Carl would like it a lot. I respect you. Why are you beefing? Why are you beefing? So I call him up. And I'm kind of nervous because it's like asking this guy on a man date. Because he's cute.

That's also a big ask because it it's like, go to New York. He does not live in New York. Yeah, you have to get out of the house. And I'm doing this while on a hike. It's like a sunset hike that I took. So I'm out of breath and I'm calling him. You call him sweet Carl. I'm like, hey, sweet Carl.

Go on, let me get this straight. I'm supposed to feel better by this story. You're calling Carl at sunset on it for a date. Yeah. You once told us don't talk to you on Sundays. Dude, I said don't ask me about work things you were you kept trying to ask me about work things on sundays yeah when did i say don't talk to me did you did you talk to carl on sunday uh no sunday was yesterday this was friday okay

and ghibli's work not pleasure true come on uh so i i call him up i'm out of breath i'm like hey i got this concert and I'm like do you want to go to it it's really stupid I gave you don't want to go actually I'm like it's not a big deal you don't have to go

whatever it's in New York it's kind of a big deal like it's a big like a lot of effort you don't have to go he's like ooh that sounds kind of fun but like

hmm and I'm like you know what just like get back to me like it's not a big deal just get back to me he's like okay okay I'll message you back in like an hour i was like message me back in an hour he's like yeah okay great i was like and if you don't i'll let you ever forever lovely lays down

on his stomach on his bed with his feet up in the air staring at his phone for an hour so an hour timer starts and i go back home and then i'm in the kitchen and i'm i'm just talking to cutes and maya and then an hour and a minute passes i look at my phone nothing and i'm in the kitchen and i'm i'm just talking to cutes and maya and then an hour and a minute passes i look at my phone nothing and i'm like oh i hate this guy but like in jest because i'm like i'm sure he's gonna message me because it's sweet carl and he's just crazy carl also also like lovely is like thinking about that an hour later still which is fucking crazy the hour mark passed and i told them about it three times this week for help with the thumbnail bro dude he's been he's back to the old him.

It's actually fucked up. They're on different days. I can't talk about another human without you guys being weird jealous girlfriends. You brought this up.

I know, but you don't have to be a weird jealous girlfriend. We're not being weird jealous, so we just need you to talk to us about the things you're an expert about.

I see myself as your girlfriend. And that's true, too. Is that so wrong? And we filmed a fun girlfriend sketch. It was fun. I had a good time. Anyway, 36 hours passed. And I'm your boyfriend. Is that so wrong? And we filmed a fun girlfriend sketch. It was fun. I had a good time.

Anyway, 36 hours passed. He did message me. Yeah, how's it fucking feel? He calls me about something totally unrelated. Oh, that's awesome. And then goes, oh, by the way, I can't go. That is so good. Get fucked, bro.

Get absolutely fucked. Five free guilt trip public passes to make him feel bad online. Well, who are you going with? I was just going to go solo and get high and watch it. No, you weren't. In New York. Yeah, I was. You would never do that. Wait, when is this? What part of this was it? When is it? It's this Friday. Thursday.

Because I said you would never do that because it's already hard enough for you to do things that take you away from the house. No, I'm going to this. Wow. That's how much he loves Ghibli. Have you seen Ghibli food? Yeah. Hey, anime food look like this.

He say she's old as fuck. He's going to die. I want to see him while he's alive. He's going to be there. Studio Gibby. Performing. What is he performing? He's a composing an orchestra.

He's not performing anything. They're performing. He's composing. He's performing. What are you? Is it? He composed composing. He's performing. What are you doing? Is it? He composed the music. Music heads in the chat.

Is doing this performing? Yes, because if he's not there, they would play worse. So he's providing a function. He provides tempo. Oh. Why don't they just use a metronome? Wait, are you deadass? I didn't think it was for fun.

You can use a metronome, but if you're trying to make something that's maybe more emotionally appealing, then you don't necessarily need it to be like dot, dot, dot, dot, and you need to click in here. But bands play without a composer all the time. That's true. There's also four. There's like fucking 80 in a goddamn philharmonic orchestra. Hey, today I learned. I'd love to see that with regular bands. You're at like a fucking weezer concert and then there's a guy

they've got all sorts of code they do when they're moving their hands around that means certain things really and they also communicate directly with specific departments so like they'll like use their hands hey tromboners what's it called the uh hey hula i don't know but i thought if you don't know it i think, Harry Potter. I think the drum department is funny. I think they go like, hey, the drum department, we got to quiet down. All right? That's kind of what they do. It's Patrick Warburton.

He's like, hey, trumpets, how about we play a little softer? That was a good Patrick. Yeah, they do. There are, and to be in your credit, there are sometimes groups who are more skilled than the composer, and the composer is kind of just like a puppet like a meme okay but composers are the flavor slave of music they can make them go faster and louder and quieter and specifically for groups i see and control how the vibes go are you gonna fan out are you gonna fan geek out are you gonna be a geek and a gamer orchestra i'm not gonna geek out i'm not gonna go like out. I'm not going to go like, yeah! Dude, not Princess Mononoke. You did it. Bad boy.

Do you think there's going to be people who do that there? No. I think people will pop off because there's going to be a visual audio concert, probably like the Zelda one was. Yeah. People will probably be like, woo! Nick would have loved to go. Are you going to dress up?

I thought about it, a tuxedo? I think I'll wear this The omoga slides? With better pants You show up in the omoga Are you gonna go like hat mask And try to like Not

No You're just gonna be like I'm loving it, I'm here It's New York I feel like there are More famous people in New York Than me I thought how that's gonna work for you

But You're gonna do an anime show Essentially Yeah but like In the concert itself, at a concert, no one's going to be like, hey, Ludwig. You'll be surprised. Can we grab one real quick?

Dude, I had a guy come up to me a few days ago and he's like, oh, hey, you're Nick from the yard. And I was like, yeah, nice to meet you. And he's like, he doesn't respond to that. He just goes, I like the topics you guys talk about because they make me think really deep and then he stares at me and i'm like meanwhile i just had to be described what a composer does and i'm like cloud is popping above his head he's seen max mofo gag on anthony's fart yeah and i'm thinking like

oh it's a joke i'm like oh yeah yeah, yeah, yeah. Real, real thought provoking. He goes like, really? Like, like, like, it's very thought provoking stuff. And I'm like, I like your son a lot. I'm like, I'm like, yeah, man. And then he just he just left. Yeah. And I'm like, did I get owned? No, no. That was just the DMT vape.

That wasn't real. This is at the climbing gym. I did get owned for the first time by somebody. No, it was funny. I got owned. Yeah. By by in this owned for the first time by somebody. No. It was funny. You got owned? Yeah, in this interaction. It was the first time somebody's done this and it was really funny.

Caution. Saying this will provoke more. Continue. Yeah. I feel like this person should be rewarded. I went to a concert right before I left. I went to go see Mount Joy. And I was standing in

Standing in the back of the crowd I'd Mount Nurse Joy got it fuck yeah Yeah I was trying to think of something If he had said I went to Mount Joy I would have been like well I was there too I don't know Let's go Fuck you I'm back

He is back He said he was gone he said he was gone and i'm not leaving now he's here to stay he's here to stay anyway don't lie waiting for them to come on after the opener and uh i we're just standing around waiting and i see a guy and what i think is a slippy hat and uh i'm i just want to go talk to them because think is a slippy hat. I just want to go talk to them because they have a slippy hat on. You're like the reverse of a fan. That's crazy. What are you going to go say to them?

I love frogs too. That's so cool. I kind of like exit our group and then I realize as I get closer that's not a slippy hat. It's a totally different type of hat. Please don't tell me you still go up. Sorry man, so you're wearing a hat that actually it's this game I play. closer that's not a slippy hat the totally different type of hat he goes sorry man so you're wearing a hat

that actually it's so it's this game I play I thought it was the online version yeah that game you can play online you don't actually go to slippy dot gg go to blimpy

yeah I know what I'm saying is confusing but blimpy excels in all of this but coincidentally as I'm walking by a group of people somebody stops me it's a friend not a not a fan it's based fox the so-called let's go okay nobody fuck the base he's with a he's with a friend of his and just stops and says hi we start talking for a while and uh i go back to the bar to go get a drink and i'm on my way back i like throw a couple things out and i come

back to like the group that i was talking with and i stand stand back there again and somebody taps me on the shoulder and it's a security guard and they're like uh please come with me sir and it's like very stern and i in my head i'm like dude what have i done like it's like i did i like throw something in the recycling bin that I wasn't supposed to or something like that's the only thing I can even remotely think of that I've done weird or I and he pulls me aside it's like maybe I seem like too drunk or something and I'm not I'm not even drunk and he pulls me aside and he looks straight at me he's like totally deadpan and he's like hey man I love the podcast that's really funny and and he introduces

himself and he shakes my hand uh his phone was dead so he couldn't take a photo and he uh comes back to me later after he charges his phone and the show is like almost over over and he's like i'm sorry man i was just like trying to fuck with you because i thought it would be kind of funny i didn't mean to like scare you or anything he was a security guy and he was an actual security guy that's really funny I was like one you did scare the shit out of me and two I thought it was hilarious

yeah that's so much more creative than saying you know slime bald or something like that yeah sign up for security jobs now at events around Los Angeles you'll get to meet Aiden and he'll like you the The con just gets longer. He's all the way to the fucking booth. He gets locked up.

And they're like, dude, podcast fucking belay. A cop comes in and starts beating the shit out of him. They throw him in for a week. The bars, the bars just like, alright, hey, love the podcast. Come on out of here, brother. You're gonna be in here Monday and Thursday. Was he big man? Yeah, yeah. He was taller than me of here, brother. You're going to be in here Monday and Thursday. Was he big man?

Yeah, yeah. He was taller than me and bigger than me. You couldn't take him? No, absolutely not. Wow. Do we take him? We as a group? Like collectively?

Me and you. Together? Yeah. We have a 2v1, maybe. What's Aiden going to do? Maybe? How big is this guy? Aiden is just going to ask him to stop fighting.

Aiden's going to do his five push-ups and I'm going to do the rest. He looks like Aiden's gonna do his five pushups And I'm gonna do the rest Aiden would just be saying Stop fighting And you're just like getting your fucking teeth kicked in I don't think Aiden would do that Aiden would Aiden does not step up to the plate Or he goes well come on guys

I couldn't tell what you did That doesn't mean it's gonna be a good job If somebody is fighting you and refusing to stop I would get in there I would say I'd do a shit job You would lay hands on another man To save Ludwig I'm fighting a man what do you do

You're fighting a man I'm fighting a man Are you losing the fight No context Ludwig said hey what's up pussy Go fight? No context? No, I'll give you context. Ludwig said, hey, what's up, pussy? Go fuck yourself. No, no, no context. Back to no context.

No context, and it's not clear who's winning. You're at a function with Ludwig. You split up. You haven't been together for an hour. You look over. You see Ludwig's fighting someone. Oh, I think I get in between you guys. You do that?

You go in and be like, boys, stop. You are weak. We easily get through you. Then what? Do you help me defeat him? I only help you defeat him if you're losing the fight and he's beating you.

So you're telling me you're doing this? Also depends. Hold on. Also depends why you're in the fight. Did you provoke this guy? No, because if you're friends, it doesn't matter if he's in the wrong. You fucking hop in and you get work done. It does. If you walk up to

somebody, call somebody a fucking slur, and then they fucking rip one at you, not saying you would do that. But I'm not going to join in that. He's getting his ass beat. Isn't the whole purpose of being my friend knowing that I wouldn't do something that would crazily provoke someone? Yeah, you're a piece of shit

for saying that to Ludwig right now. You're saying context doesn't matter, that would crazily provoke someone. Yeah, you're a piece of shit for saying that to Ludwig right now. But I'm watching. You're saying context doesn't matter, and I'm saying it does. I'm saying as your friend who doesn't do this regularly, which is a key factor, because if I did it regularly, you'd be like, well, it's Ludwig. That's why I'm saying I would get between you. I'm not going to help you beat up some guy that I don't know. So if I'm in the same position as you, I look over, there's a party.

Ludwig's swinging on some guy. Maybe he's winning. Maybe it's a kid. I don't care. So if I'm in the same position as you, I look over, there's a party, Ludwig's swinging on some guy. Maybe he's winning. Maybe it's a kid. I don't care. I'm jumping in. And if he won't stop, then I'll fucking get on him. I'll fucking jump on his back

and try to do something. Dude, I'm not winning fights. So you need to do the majority of the work. All right, so I walk up, right? I see you're fighting someone. Right. In the world where you're winning, I lean over the nearest person and I go,

he actually just got out of surgery. In the world where you're winning i lean over i lean over the nearest person i go he actually just got out of surgery in the world where you're losing i jump in i get him in that position where you're like hands behind his head you got his arms up like this nelson the full nelson and i call him i call him nelson yeah because i think it'd be funny i go what's up nelson you say why you got a necklace yeah why you got a necklace nelson and then i look at you love it i go i look around his head and i go what do you want to do and you're you're you're like you get to the side do I want to hit him while I got him or are you gonna bounce and then we and then if you say oh let's fucking get out of here you go you go up you start tickling him yeah you get him all tickled yes sir and I hold him I go yeah get his ass get his ass and then he's like stop

you guys go get root beer so in this scenario where I'm losing the fight You just easily single handedly Hold this guy back Obviously What you're not considering is then we would be winning the fight So Aiden would join his side And you'd be like well hold on You don't know if voting is a slur Hold on

Hold on what did you say Can we get the footage maybe I ask no questions I just put him in a Nels and then you take some shots and then we bounce. We get some Boba. Yeah. Easy. I like that game plan. That's why you're a bad friend.

And that's why we all talked shit on you in the last. Breaking up the fight is being a bad friend. No, you're assuming he called them a slur. That's not what I said. I think that I wouldn't do that. And I hope you would do that either. It was an example of why context matters. And I'm saying sometimes your friend deserves to get their ass beat sova yeah cervix pussy that's crazy what he just said yeah that is crazy

like crazy because like what do you think i would deserve you my ass beat here's what i'll say if my friend does something really dumb and starts getting his ass beat I'm not like he deserves it I stop it and then later I beat his ass that's why I'm saying I get involved what is getting in between two people mean to you how about this Lubbock's getting his ass beat and the guy's punching him like this he's looking over at you

and he's like unless you kiss me I'm gonna keep punching him what do you do well I have to kiss him oh man he's a homie Unless you kiss me, I'm going to keep punching him. What do you do? Well, I have to kiss him. Oh, man. He's a homie. Yeah, well, no, because I feel like he just wants to kiss me. Yeah, he says you have to punch me or I'll keep going.

And he's like, ugh. Like, fine, how about a smooch then? He's like, come here right now. Well, I did like this thought experiment because in all situations, Ludwig was just getting his ass kicked. Yeah, that's pretty funny. That was a healthy memory to me well no have what I just came out of surgery in one situation that is also a hype one yeah but you know you'll maybe this will happen at the Ghibli a concert no friends and then

I'll come back and you guys be like in? You fucking black guy. I think I'm going to meet Tarek when I'm there. Is Tarek going? He just lives in New York. No, I didn't know that. I didn't know Tarek lived in a city or a town or a place. I thought it was like an ethereal plane. Yeah, I thought he just streamed from the cosmos. Yeah.

Wow, dude, he clutched that. That's crazy. Yeah, it's tight. How did your xqc stream go last night the dream so I the context is I watched rehearsal with you Nathan Fielder's show

yeah and episode one was godlike episode two three four alright yeah we've been bonding by watching the show together it's nice there's just a new one I think right yeah you want to watch it we should watch it uh and uh and then i had this idea where because i've never been the number one streamer in the world even during the subathon that month xqc was the biggest streamer we know okay by viewer minutes by viewer minutes by watch minutes

which is like the best metric uh to calculate that and so i was like okay it'd be funny if for a stream i try to be the biggest stream in the world by copying everything he does so i got yan to set up your old room to look like xqc stream room and have his scenes and then me and yan were on a call and this is so funny he was going to relay to me what xqc was doing for the entirety of his stream and i was going to copy it to copy what the best does. Yeah, just like, okay, now he's watching. Okay, so it's called like a turkey, a chicken. We were almost theorycrafting that level the night before.

It's like we were practicing how XQC puts his knee on his chair. Yeah. And we were like, yeah, so you don't want to put it on the PC. I'm like, no, no, no, put it back on the chair. And he's like, yeah, yeah, that's what he does. I did it on the PC. I'm like, no, no, no, put it back on the chair. And he's like, I'm like, yeah, yeah, that's what he does. That's what he does. I did it for seven hours. And so I was like, okay, the dangerous part is XQ sometimes streams for 20 hours.

And I have never streamed longer than 18 ever. Awake. Awake. Yeah. And I have to do what he's doing, so I can't sleep. And he was supposed to go live at two to play Among Us. So I'm like, okay, this is good. All right, he has to go live at 2.

He went to bed late. It's probably going to be a short one. 2 o'clock hits. I set my stream to go live. Nothing. And I'm like, that's weird. Like, I asked Sykuno. He's like, yeah, maybe he'll come later.

Set it for 4 o'clock. Nothing. He shows up. Oh, that's why your stream was delayed. Because he didn't turn his on. Meanwhile, me and Nick Yingling are playing Valorant. And Ludwig says, maybe I'll play with you guys because I'm waiting. But he's like, but XQC might start a stream soon. Dude, I'm browsing his offline chat.

I'm in his Discord. I entered a VC call in an alt account that I made. And I said, when's XQC streaming? And I kid you not, they went, Ludwig? No. And I was like, Scram! And I hung up. You ran into a tunnel painted onto a wall.

I was in the offline, I was in the chat of Train, because XQC was in there. I was in the chat of Dizzy, because XQC was in there. And he showed up nine hours later than he was meant to go live. And so we went live at 11 p.m.

Every game of Valorant that we finish we check back in with Ludwig we're like hey do you want to play next one and then Ludwig's like nah I might go live soon and this goes on for 6 hours I was checking all

day because I knew about this all day I was checking I'm like still not live eh well maybe XQC's live maybe he's just like XQC is live. Maybe he's just... Actually, he's also not live. This is not good. 11 p.m. to 6 a.m. is when he streamed. So that is when I streamed as well. Wow.

I was blessed, however. It was probably his shortest stream in the past, like, three months. Did he know you were doing it? No. No one in chat fucking narked in his chat? No. I think people might have said, like, Ludwig's also playing this, but he playing this but he probably ignored him interesting because like that happens all the time wow do you think it was a good stream dude actually a lot of people were like this was my favorite stream in a while

like statistically it performed worse i mean time zone doesn't help but a lot of people liked it because it was like it was a stream for the sake of streaming and xqc provides like a really good home for like people to go to to watch and he's like always there and it's really comfy and it's like same vibes every day for most of the day as opposed to me who's like all right boys three hours of farming youtube video peace fuck you guys see you later yeah you use and abuse your viewers and i think you fucking you treat them like your stinky little piggies yeah because i'm not parasocial that's right but that's a problem because xuc loves his viewers and they love him back i don't think they love each other bro well his viewers love him for sure that's fine

they love him but you treat him like your little nasty little bear i pump them yeah i say hey cervix it's your mom's cervix I call them that's their whole name what is just like children of the cervix I see it's like a horror movie yeah

like children of the corn but it's cervix isn't a field no I got you yeah I'm with you you're picking up what I'm putting down

I'm with you on the cervix thing it's kind of like childbirth blogging it's cause so we when we were in San Diego

for the tournament last week whoa you have a story for that yeah i was gonna say i was just imagining like in a crowd of people thanksgiving dinner like this is actually kind of like childbirth vlog so if i could have the floor for a moment dude so we we fucking we get to the airbnb and uh and i i paid for like all the guys to stay with us was like seven of us and um and me and mike get there first and we're just like watching youtube and the who has ever logged in it's either someone who had stayed at this airbnb at like before or the person that lives there i'm not sure but um the channel was called glass darkly and so basically you log in and you can see their whole algorithm we're talking tucker carlson we're talking jp oh the ghost we're talking we're talking all the classics

all the all the the the michael jordan's nothing but the hits and some of it was like film gear so it was like it's like this person's a filmmaker who hates people and uh is and there was like like pickup artists like tips and stuff like that but there was also like funniest like 100 funniest church moments dude it's like it's like crazy jordan peterson then it's like funny car crash compilation it was one old vitality video so we we decided to uh well we're like let's fucking let's watch some content and let's like let's make this guy's algorithm different that is really so we just started searching like for one we did a whole bunch of bread tubers we like put hasan up there we're like okay let's balance out the political spectrum and then uh one of them came up and it was just like in our searching and it was just like childbirth vlog and we're like oh we're watching

this and we watched an entire 40 minute vlog of a woman like, you know, with her husband talking about like, she's like pregnant. She's mad. They went to the mall to eat and then she gives birth and it was disgusting. They showed it? Yeah, they showed. Well, they like blurred some of it and some of it was time-lapsed, but then the baby did come out and I was like, Dan, that's crazy.

That's what a baby looks like. So we watched a couple more childbirth vlogs and basically kept going yeah and then we watched we watched doing your mom oh ray william johnson never seen that before so that was an educational moment so basically this guy's algorithm is now some sort of like freak monster frankenstein that's tight that will never be healed yeah it's like when you um order all of the uh tools to like chloroform someone amazon yeah it's a flag yeah they'll they'll make it if you watch ray william johnson jordan peterson and then a childbirth vlog you can put on a list yeah you can put on the no fly list yeah so shouts out to that guy in

oceanside who uh you know i hope your life is different now i hope we changed it for the better well it's an airbnb right yeah but it could have been the person that lives there or the person that stayed there before. Or it's a combination of everyone who keeps coming. Yeah, if you actually get a random group of 100 people, it always goes to All Right YouTube. Yeah, that's what Susan wanted. She did. That was the dream that she saw. She was the boss of the Metal Gear.

I see world. We're all patriots. Susan loves white replacement dog whistling. I've been saying that. And there's one word in that sentence that she loves the most. Fellas, this is where I step out of the conversation. And I

appreciate you, Susan, personally. Why do you sound like George Bush? And I think that we will find the weapons of magic i just think that you like nfts too much that's all i think we look we love susan we love crazy sue have never met her we say yeah i did we literally did meet her at home we met her and her crew none of you know her we know her do you know her you don't know her you talk what on twitter you send each other monkey videos yeah do you know who shea carl is yeah he's who called and who swerved you for the concert no that's carl jacob dude i know who shea carl is do you know

who shea carl is i know who shea carl you know who Shay Carl is? I know who Shay Carl is Who? Ask me? Yeah that's fair I know all these fucking people I just want to educate you real quick Because your birth vlog Reminded me of this

Because I used to watch Exclusively vlog content Growing up Because that's what was popping Dude do you want Can we even say The channel name anymore? What channel?

Wasn't it The Shaytards? Wasn't it Shaytards? Yeah that's fine to say Yeah it was the Shaytards? Wasn't it Shaytards? Yeah, that's fine to say We lived in an era where the like one of the largest and most successfully monetized channels on YouTube was a family vlogging channel called Shaytards. Well, it's not like it was like my calling themselves that it's not it was not his kids name plus like retard It's not the goal. It was specifically leotard. Oh,

what? Yeah. There's a bunch of people. They call themselves the shatards. Cause, cause some leotard thing. I forget exactly. Most people know that.

I did not know that. Everyone who watched would know that. But if you just knew of them, which is obviously more, cause impressions are bigger than views, then you wouldn't. But, uh,

he was. Advice of the day. Impressions are bigger than views, then you wouldn't. But he was... And vice the day, impressions are bigger than views. They were like a really big vlog channel. I loved watching them because I had like a small family. It was like three of us and they had like a big family because they were Mormon and they fucked a lot without protection. Yeah, raw shit. They only fucked raw.

Shut up! They only busted in pussies only. And so they were known for like their large family. They had like several kids and it was all like the name. So it'd be like kid Tard and baby Tard. What? Are you kidding me? Is he fucking with me?

No. We made this channel up. We're just fucking with you. Actually, they would be like the nickname. So it'd be like, oh shit. Yeah, it was baby. Can you go through Oh, shit. Yeah, it was Baby... Can you go through the name zipper? I know it was Baby Tard.

No, no, that's rapper Nick. Yeah. That was Mario on Scam Luigi. What are the names? Hold on. I don't want to mess this up. Tinky Winky. It was to keep them anonymous yes so is mommy tard son dark rock tard in bro to mega man bosses I like to think that I'm a bro

tard but I'm more I think I'm more of a mommy tard those are dogs these are all the evolutions they would vlog big family, big family, like eight of them, and their wholesome family adventures. And I, who always wanted a bigger family because I loved you by the dozen, would watch these people. And they had like big Christmas unboxings and all this, and they'd hang out and do fun things.

And then one day, What's up, blood tarts? Dude, if I could go back and change one thing... He never would have made it. I wouldn't have. I wouldn't have. No, no, no.

It's because of a leotard thing. It's like a chill from back then. It's actually chill. Maybe it's unitard. What's the difference? I don't know. Anyway, one day dad-tard. Bro.

I can't believe this is true. Starts messaging a porn actress. That's what my dad's name in my phone should have been. This sweet Mormon family, his father messages, this like, like sex worker, I believe. I don't,

I don't know exactly what she did. A prostitute. We'll call her porn tard. I don't think. And she leaked the messages. And I don't know if you can pull the messages. Was this a scandal? Can you pull the messages zipper?

Yeah. Yeah. It's a scandal. Cause they're like a sweet Mormon family. He cheats on his wife, Mommy Tard. And with this, like, because they're Mormon, right? He's like, Mommy Tard, I did a bit of a cheat on you. We're going to have to get him a divorce-o-tard.

Baby-tard boots-is-tard. I'm taking the kid-tard. I bend you over and slap my dick on your ass. It's cut off, but it says dick-tard. Yeah. So this is...

They're graphic, and it's leaked, right? This is like this sweet Mormon family Dude, no No man has ever said this with a soft dick Any of this stuff No I'm pushing the tip a little bit Like on the rim and shit

And it's in your, like, butthole But then I switch to your vagina and shit And then we fuck law and have nine kids, dude And so that leaks And then the family just fractures of course because they're mormon and infidelity is really bad who gets zeke well what happened initially being zeke is he went like what the fuck where's my nickname dog did you get a dog yeah yeah well it was for anonymity but anyway he he uh protect the dog. Protect the dog.

He went on like a weird bender where he just would do like solo YouTube videos. It used to be family content and then he'd upload just him doing like 500 push-ups. That's so weird. It was very weird. It was so weird. Happy ending. They are now back together.

That's not a happy ending. They're miserable. No, because they're Mormon. They probably worked through it. But he can never he can never enter the top layer of heaven no absolutely not so when they die and go to heaven heaven is like a many layered cake can they still visit him on the lower level you have no they'll be like my dad's on the lower level god tard and then you have

so he's he's he's boxed himself out of the greatest Pleasure of man Yes for some short term For some short term strange For short term strange For some text sex For some play For some twitter DM sex

Which has got to be the lowest tier It's not even He was also a co-founder of Maker Studio, which sold to Disney for a billion? What? That's a lot. How much did Maker Studio sell for, Zip? Didn't Kassem G own part of Maker?

Yeah, it was Kassem, Shea Carl, and a couple others. The next time I see Carl Jacobs, I'm going to be like, bro, that was so fucked up with your family, bro. Yeah, the 23-year-old Carl Jacobs. 500 million. That was so fucked up with your family bro yeah the 23 year old Carl Jacobs 500 million in 2014 it's funny how what did they do even

what did they make it was back when uh it was a huge part of monetization it was like an MLM basically I think it was like one of the

first MLMs no no you mean MCM MCM yeah I'm like did they not MCM MCM MCN MC like Did they not MLS Holy shit MCM MCM

MCN MCN Yeah Minecraft Network No if you join Machinima And you can get 10 friends to join Machinima We'll give you a cut

So there you'll get 10 views on your video And then they get 10 views on their video And then you can Noob tube everyone And you get To upload a video

Does viewbotting still work In what sense Like can you viewbot a YouTube video and get a bunch of views for it? I think you can, but it'll get caught usually if it gets any amount of success that matters. It was so easy back in the day.

Don't you think it was insane that videos would just be stuck at 301 views for like a few hours? Do you guys remember that? I thought it was 314. I don't know if it was 301. It was 301. But then it varied. It was usually around 301. That sucked. Do you guys remember that? I thought it was 314 or maybe it was 301. It was 301. But then it varied.

It was usually around 301. That sucked. Yeah, it was so weird. Why did they do that? No, that was hype. No, it wasn't hype. No, if it happened to you, you're like,

oh, it's doing well. There's definitely like a Tom Scott video on this that is way more educated than us four combined. That's not true. I'm smarter than Tom Scott. We're smarter than him.

We are. Whoever he is. Whoever he may be. I've seen Bridges. Tom Scott is a guy who makes like educational videos. And one time I asked him

to come on mogul money because I was going to do a smart person episode. And he replied, hello, Ludwig. And he's British. I appreciate this offer,

but I don't I'm not doing a good British offer. I appreciate this offer. But offer. But just so you know, this is ripping the

copyright of Jeopardy. It's a one toone clone and you could be sued for this and i could not support anything that does this dead ass yeah and i was like i was like i guess you're right but like damn yeah damn chill with all that he could have just said i'm busy i'm so sorry the answer was what is this is ripping off uh i should reply that now Yeah Seven months later That'd be pretty good Anyway Got him Boomed him

It's weird by the way How every big family influencer Is Mormon I feel like there's a lot of TikTok families And they're all Mormons Mormons just have big families Yeah cause they have a big

But they're families With like two kids a lot of the time They have government stipends And they're rotting in the head They're all rotting. They have skull problems. Do you think it's because the Mormon rules

just haven't caught up to social media yet? It's like one of the few vices you can have as a Mormon. It's content. It's like I can't watch rated R movies or smoke cigarettes,

but they haven't, you know, shut down Instagram yet. Yeah, they're not going to be able to regulate that. Yeah. But also, I think you know... Yeah, but they regulate rated R movies,

so clearly it's being updated in some capacity. Sure. So eventually the passers will be like, all right, here's the list of thirst-strapped TikTokers you guys cannot watch. Hey, guys, we just removed

Justin Timberlake. So that's a new update in Mormon 2.0. No more JT. Take that off your Spotify. We also removed Spotify, so you can just take that r kelly's still chill yeah because everyone knows just found out about beheading videos too those are not cool like it i really like r kelly still separate you're allowed to keep him in your playlists but you can't support him or say he's cool seek out the the song but if they come up, you can listen. But you're allowed to say

when Exit comes on, this is still kind of a banger. Sucks what he did, though. Wait, they can't watch Radar movies? Yeah. Can't drink coffee? That's actually, no, no, Radar, that's stupid because that's like an organizational body, the, what is it, the MPAA? Yeah, which is a holy body.

That's crazy. That they're just like, yeah, well, we'll just trust what they have. It's also kind of funny because ratings change in different countries. So there's movies in Canada that are marked age 14 plus that are rated R in the US. So Canadian Mormons operate by different rules. Well, no, they actually go to Canada to watch those movies. No, they can't drink soda. No, I thought the problem with coffee was caffeine. No, they can't drink soda. No, I thought the problem with coffee was caffeine.

No, they can't drink caffeine. It is. But they can drink soda. Oh, but they... No, they do drink soda. Yeah, I know. You're agreeing with each other. I think you're not saying can or can't.

I'm saying can. No, no. He said... I heard him say... But they can't drink coffee. Yeah, they can't. Because why? Caffeine.

But caffeine is in soda? Sometimes. There's caffeine in a lot of sodas. Yeah, like Coke and all that good stuff. The reason, oh God, this is, watch Wine About It. No. You know, I'm starting to think. Wine About It!

I don't know the answer and she's ex-Mormon and I'm going to butcher it. I'm starting to think that there's some inconsistencies in this faith. There are a lot. I'm starting. And there's, I can't name them. It's lucky that we are based atheists And my god whatever happened to our I'm on board with God. I love what he's rocking. What is he rocking? I'm rocking with him eight inches nine inches

Yeah, he doesn't have a you guys want to listen to incubus later, dude. God has a dick He does not have a penis. I guys want to listen to Incubus later? Dude, God has a dick. He does not have a penis. I like Drive. He's like a Ken doll. Do you think that? I think he's like a Ken doll. Does he have a pussy? I don't think he has a form. God's breathtaking pussy.

He's like Nimbus. God in his chair. From Dragon Ball. Jesus to his right. Bernie Sanders to his left. That's right. And they're all coming. He's waiting for Bernie to die to bring him up.

The holy triad. Yeah. And then it's the devil. The holy triad. Yeah. And then it's the devil, Leffing, and Andrew T. The father, the son, Bernie Sanders. Intellectual fan? Oh, I already said that. That's, wait, who was that? That was the guy that came up to me.

Oh, you want to tell your Airsoft gun story for the skit we did at the beginning? Yeah, me and Lud filmed that skit for the Patreon episode that we leaked, which was fun. I had a good time doing that. But it was really funny because there's like a a 20 maybe this is patreon material i don't think it is but there was like a 20 minute clip because let us hit record before we like figured out what we were gonna do it was just like an obs just running and then we were trying to figure out the logistics of cloning ludwig in that we're like wait hold on what order did we shoot this in i'm like we gotta

do this for and we're just like us figuring it out for a while. But before that, I had to go buy a gun because we needed a gun for that. Yeah. We didn't have one. And I was like, we don't have any real guns. I'll buy an airsoft gun.

And so I went to a place that sells airsoft guns and I was, I went in, I realized I kind of phrased it poorly. I was like, hi, do you guys have like

fake guns? Like fake looking guns? And they're like, we have like fake guns like fake looking guns and they're like we have airsoft guns and i'm like yeah i sorry i meant like i want like an airsoft gun they're like yeah yeah take me over and i'm like i would say the cheapest looking gun gun that looks real cheapest one make sure it looks like black like a real gun would be and she's like we have this one it has an orange tip i'm like not that one how about the one next to it and she's like yeah yeah sure but she's like do you guys also have the steam ass all the way over your head i'm like oh this is perfect that i and then i i bought my fake gun i brought it home it was really easy bag with a money sign on it and then i was walking

out i was like it would be so easy to rob something with this yeah you guys have pocket knives you're like a box cutters would actually be fine I think it's better to rob without a weapon like even a fake weapon all right I'm here and I want it all cartoonish way to rob still like if you saw a fake weapon you can still be charged with that's what I mean so you should rob without a weapon I'm saying all about a lever like I like this you don't need leverage all you need to do is write a note that says give me five thousand dollars or i will i will shoot you sweet bear this happened so some

guy robbed a bunch of banks all across the country by doing this exact thing this is the beginning of good time and he turned himself in see so i'm right yeah you're right you should rob without a weapon by just threat because they just give it to you but if it's 7-eleven you just say i'm right yeah you're right you should rob without a weapon by just threat because they just give it to you but if it's 7-11 you just say i'm taking this snickers bar and the guy's like i hate my life yeah that is low stakes yeah that's stealing from yeah man i make 725 an hour so you can do it the fuck you and leave one outside for me to grab later and we are chill. Did you actually grab like a 40 for me? Oh, did we talk about the Grayson finale on the pod? No.

We did. We talked about it on the Primo. The Primo? The public pubis. Oh, so everyone knows then. Except me. No, you do know because you listened to it on Patreon, you weirdo. No, he heard the compliments about himself and clicked out.

He's like, I'm satiated. I just wanted everyone to know. I just wanted to make sure I've crossed all my... Did we felled off? What? Did we felled off like Gucci? What are you talking about? No, Gucci did not felled off.

Do you think we felled off? Who's we? You and us and everyone on the yard. No. Are we still funny? You ask this like every episode. No. I mean...

Oh, okay. I realize that my opinion doesn't matter anymore after the last episode that we did before I left. That's when I truly realized that my opinion

on the quality of the episode has no bearing on... Do you think we're dog shit and people just like us anyway? Because we're slightly better than the competitions? I think it's if you look at a... It's like a level of faith people have for the quality of the show and it slowly increases after the show continues.

And it plateaus. And there's ups and downs, but they'll never deviate too far from like the level of satisfaction that you expect and we'll always be close enough that no one will have a big deal either way so you're saying we we can't fall that far no but we also can't go that high yes whoa i feel like part of it though is that we've never had an episode where it ended we were all just like we got to re-record that. That was terrible. Or like stopped in the middle. You know what I mean? Mushrooms episode. What? Yeah. Kind of.

Stopped in the middle? I forget what happened. I forget. Oh, but you were high and wrong. I was high on mushrooms. And I thought we were in the attic for three hours when we'd been in it for 45 minutes. I more mean that we have a certain threshold of quality that we keep ourselves to passively. I don't think we do.

Do you think that even if we felled off, no one would notice? No. Shut the fuck up. Just smoke weed. Maybe you need to do mushrooms next time. He just likes felled off a lot right now. I do, but it's a genuine question. I've been watching the whole

fucking documentary on why, like, Cinemassacre sucks now, and I guess it always did, like, Angry Video Game Nerd stuff, and it was, like, this really in-depth deep dive of, like, how a channel and its content will just slowly, like, die and wither. Yeah. And I was like... That'll happen.

Whoa. They felled off. Yeah, that'll happen. Like Gucci. I think that's fine, though. But what then? By then, we're doing other shit. We're doing other shit? Yeah that'll happen. Like Gucci. I think that's fine though. But what then? By then we're doing other shit. We're doing other shit? Yeah. Or not. Or you're just living life and enjoying

it and then you die and that's great. Kind of like how Joan used to talk to like you know astronomers and now he talks to cunts. To guys who had a flag on January 6th. He didn't like when he asked astronomers like you think

there's fucking aliens out there, bro? And they were just like, gave him a really reasonable answer. He was like, I want someone who's gonna tell me they're here now. Yeah, he was like, I'm not getting any sweet sugar rush from Yeah, there's aliens. They're called fucking liberals and they're here everywhere. He's just he's like, fucking whoa.

You gotta read the article, I bet. Yeah, I didn't read the whole article. I stopped at the bigger letters. But that shit seems crazy. You know what gives me comfort? What does it do it? Someone like Aiden couldn't name five actors who were famous and successful

in the 70s. True shit. Or the 80s or the 90s. Probably not. Maybe the 90s. What does that matter? It just means that you are guaranteed... Robert De Niro. Steve Buscemi. He's going off right now.

Daddy's going off. Quinn Tarantino. He's not an actor. It doesn't count. You know it doesn't count. It's a facetious answer. Three more. Come on.

Goldeneye? You don't know golden eye uh who played james bond hold on hold on i'm playing trains and automobiles it's oh he's done yeah take a lap anyway that gives me comfort because then everyone is going to fall off so it doesn't

matter if you fall off it's all about when it happens and that you control a bit but it's inevitable regardless but what about the endless pursuit to want to be seen and do things cool then you die and it falls off anyway so but what do you you're dude your whole logic train is just you're gonna die anyway so yeah like you can say that about anything i don't understand what this conversation is about, to be honest. We're going to fall off, and it's okay. And I find comfort in that everything falls off, so you don't need to spend

your life... Except for Weirdly Critical. Except for what? Critical. No, but he'll fall off. He never fell off. You're saying he will fall off because he'll die. Well, not him, because he'll come back. That's what I'm saying. Three days after. He'll have the second coming. They'll remove the stone from the cave, because he'll come back. That's what I'm saying. Yeah, he will come back. Three days after. He'll have the second coming. Right, sure, yeah.

They'll remove the stone from the cave, and he'll walk out. And then people will travel to that site and weep at the ground. Yeah. I died in my fucking hairy nipples. And they'll all put their white shirts there. And then thousands, you know, for thousands of years after, there'll be civil wars. You know, the whole... Many murdered in pursuit.

Dude, we should kill a guy on the podcast. We've done that. We've never felled off. We did that. Is that how we stop ourselves from felled off? We have to sacrifice one man. You know what my favorite fan theory is? If you just do adrenal cells in Peru,

we'll never felled off. Like Hillary? She never felled off. Like Hillary and Dan Bilzerian. We'll never felled off. hillary she never felled off like hillary never felled off my favorite fan theory of the uh the intro to the patreon episode is the clone we made in the william osmond piece is the first ludwig who was here to leak that you set me up i thought it was you and so i kill it but you're waiting i saw that in the comments. That's the best fan theory so far. We need to clone you now. For what? So you're not dead?

No, we need to turn him out. But he's dead in the lore now. Yeah, because you can't be dead in the lore. You can never be in a sketch again. Wait for the next sketch, though, because it's coming. Can we make a skit where we all turn Nick out? Like, fuck him? Yeah. We should make a Nick Goatsy eme oh did you see an hour forward slash place

they made mario goatee yeah i did see that that warmed my heart it looked really good that was really nice yeah it was partially my fault because they made a ludwig star and i came all over it what does that mean i made a giant penis that extended from a curvy that fucking busted on it with big white okay big um big white cum. You think Kirby cums white? I don't know, but I wanted him to cum. Do animals cum white? Yes. No, because on Tumblr once,

I saw this gif of Just say you fucked an animal. No, no, no. It was honestly the funniest post I've ever seen on Tumblr. It was like, just signed up for Tumblr account, like, can't wait to see what this website's all about. And someone reblogged it and said, said dope here's a gif of a guy blowing a dolphin and then a guy gets he's blowing a dolphin and the dolphin comes in his mouth and then he spits it out i fucked up a spit what what you don't think nature is beautiful you can't watch

a gorilla eat throw up but you'd watch a dolphin blow in some guy's mouth. I feel like I learned something watching that. It's really graphic. It's like, it doesn't, it's, it's the same shit. You're like, damn, I thought that would be funny. Exactly. This is, this is donkey vice documentary. I can't imagine this is in better than 240p.

Uh, better than? No, no, it's really low quality. It's really close up So you can see his red dick So there's a third person Yeah there's someone filming this That's the weirdest part Well you're saying the dolphin is the second person

Which is funny because they're fish I guess There's a dolphin getting sucked A man sucking and then a third person is like Yeah I gotta get this Yeah like finally we're getting this on camera And then someone uploaded that to tumblr in a gif format and somebody and then somebody who's watching that at home at their computer screen who's seen it too many times and is like i don't know i feel like i need to see the dolphin in like a taxi or something i need

the lore like how did the dolphin get there maybe like feed us some fish uh is it immoral to watch that uh i don't maybe not a dolphin i don't know i gotta watch it so i gotta learn how to uh avoid it later i think avoid what blowing dolphins yeah i gotta make sure i see it and not to do joking that you're no it check no he just has to make sure i gotta see it so that i know when a dolphin approaches me i can identify one and you can say no i won't suck you i think it's okay because dolphins rape you stop stop bringing this up you know how many times i've had to cut him talking about this it's crazy it's like every episode stop bringing it up leave it in they deserve to know big dolphin i told you i was like next time told you. I was like, next time this happens,

I'm not editing it. I'm leaving the Minecraft Twitter to fucking eat you alive. Big Porpoise at it again. So fucking enjoy that. Porpoise. We felled off. I was going to ask you guys, do you guys know this term?

Jewish American Princess? Have you guys ever heard this term yes okay i haven't heard this i had never heard this and i so talking zipper threes from the east coast and uh went to okay we're eating dinner at a japanese restaurant and uh she mentions this stereotype because it's like a person uh like this is a type of person at like east coast schools there's a lot of like jewish sororities and fraternities and like a lot of like jewish girls kind of like embrace this term jewish american princess and it's to describe like just like this type of american girl that like just wears casual clothes and like adidas

sneakers all the time and apparently this is like a a thing i'm picturing people biona from shrek i'm picturing pre ogre but her in like a in her in like a black top and black sweats and adidas sneakers and is what has been described to me yeah it's just king from and i i had never heard of this and i look it up and uh for what the first thing i say is like oh i see why you couldn't say the acronym that piece that one together first thing I thought about and then and then I I was like this has to be like an East Coast thing like this is not I've never heard of this in my entire life and I I thought about it for a sec and I was like do you know what an ABG is and she's like no oh what is that I'm like

yeah this is the west coast version of sharks and then they do the crew battle where they meet in the middle and we like exchange information like lore about these two these two women one on the west coast one on the east coast some would say they were headed for a collision course explain that term explain that term it's like it's like one of those simulation youtube videos where it's like a thousand for a collision course. Explain that term. Explain that term, Aiden. It's like one of those simulation YouTube videos where it's like a thousand soldiers

versus four thousand Native Americans. And it's like, it's just ABGs. Someone who's lived on both coasts, tell me, who wins in a fight?

The ABG or the JAP? Do you want me to explain ABGs? Like, the whole thing? We do not know it. Like,

the whole thing. Wrap the whole thing up? Wrap the whole thing up? not know like the whole thing yeah just for people who are watching who could be east coast oh asian baby girl yeah and it's like the the asian girl who like goes to a lot of raves drinks boba every day had dyes her hair blonde and she kind of maybe appropriates a bit of a black scent uh yeah it's very it's a huge uh huge demo probably lives in the bay can dm me anytime we can go we can go see porter like if you want my buddy actually knows porter kind of they produce music together.

My buddy's a producer at Porter. My buddy's a producer who works with Porter. Do you want to get second Sky tickets? I can carry you. I'm pretty high ranked

at Valor. I can carry you. I know a guy with Somali so it's totally chill. It's clean too. It's like pure too. So like whatever. You can't be out.

No, I didn't test out no I didn't test it I didn't test it but it comes tested we can test it we can test it well you want to oh man

I do love Porter so I how was that by the way I watched a little bit of it do you know about this I didn't watch it do you know about it

I saw you talking about it you're like I want to work on that song did you make you made music with Porter right I made art do you think you did have you make music with Porter, right? I made art. Do you think you did?

Have you heard it? This is also copy and excuse, by the way. Zipper, play it. You can judge. You can judge. Is it like EDM? I don't know what the hell that is. Okay.

I don't watch anime, but maybe it's like that. Crazy. Zipper, if you just look up on YouTube, it should be there. It's on Loading Clips. What would he look up? Zipper already got it. like that. Crazy cuz- Zipper if you just look up, uh, on YouTube it should be there. It's on Loading Clips. What would he look up? Zipper already got it. No way. Zipper does not have it. Zipper has been fucking asleep for a while.

Zipper felled off. Zipper if anyone felled off! Shut your mouth. Zipper felled off. There it is. Listen, listen. Are you going to finish that croissant? It needs a half beat there.

I like this. This does sound like it's intro music for your stream. Yeah. You should just make your own music. This played for about three seconds during a Casey Neistat title card. Yeah, it does sound like that. You're a producer now. Yeah, I made that music easy

it kind of is it's kind of like Legos music marketing I was watching you so like in my head music has always been hard you get but I would turn it off now zip around here's got him fuck it okay well what do you think I was watching I was watching you produce music and he he's like, a reporter's like, yeah, just press that button that says crunchy now. And you press it, and it just changes the entire sound. And it's like, whoa, this just sounds like a song now. I'm like, what the fuck?

He's like, you're going through preset menus. And I'm like, this is fucked up. I think to make something original and important is very hard. No. And to make something that sounds okay is pretty easy. What are you... What are you saying nope? He knows about music.

Yeah, but he made a good point after you started talking. He's just saying nope. He's doing the A-Truck now. No, but there's no. The no, but. Did we talk about the wedding at all? No, no. Well, we did a little bit.

Yo, we were talking about the wedding. What if Faze Banks was the minister? Like just there? oh no well we did a little bit we were talking about at the wedding what if Faze Banks was the minister like just there it was the funniest thing Aiden said he was like the love that you guys have for each other is fucking unreal

I'm here today to talk about a really chill ass viber and my dopest homie they have such beautiful vows and I'm imagining Ari sobbing and getting a really chill ass viber, and my dopest homie. They have such beautiful vows, and I'm imagining Ari sobbing and getting through hers, and then Banks being like, that's tight. When Ari came over and smoked a J with the boys,

I knew. No cap, this is the realest. On God, she can hang, which is why you guys are going to hang for life. And being dope is like it's not easy being dope is a vibe but it's not always a vibe to be dope like you gotta that's why you're there for each other to keep each other dope and also if everyone looks under your chair there's a qr code for ten dollars in bitcoin latinum that you can cash in right now and you guys are gonna want to head over to csgo wild right fuck this is so sweet no homo i might

cry though i know like it's like what we're doing here is like gay and i want to finish by saying I'm glad this is between a man and a woman he's at the reception later he's talking to Blur he's like dude what if the wedding cakes could have certificates of ownership Blur's like I don't think it would work

I don't think it would work and Ninja's gonna be worth a billion dollars I love Blur bro He gets me so fucking angry on the internet And then I see him and it all melts away He's just got that good pussy He's charming He's charming is the word you're looking for

No I said what I said Did you all cry at the vows? Yeah I cried Nick obviously didn't I didn't but now I'm stuck. I cried. You cried? Yeah, bro.

Did you cry? Yeah. No. Yeah, I did. I thought it was very sweet. I didn't cry. It was beautiful. I didn't cry either, but it did touch my heart.

Tears streamed. They love each other so much. Yeah, it was very... Brandon, if I may call him that, just struggling to get the words out to say how much he loves his fucking wife yeah that's very behind tears he kept talking about her too every time he was alone in a group he just kept talking about how much he liked her that's crazy yeah you cried you cried because they got married i cried i get it i saw the ceremony yeah i get she's great game over and then it's two wedding shirt yeah Yeah, sure that says game over

Yeah, right, but then they have a kid and it's like new player and a player one up Hey, I'm Clayton a coin got inserted into me and I'm filled with a name of Jebediah filled with a little turkey now It's like stuffing new soldier spawned CT side Shoot him in the head quick. Shoot my gamer son in the head. Don't do that. Don't do the last part. Our son Hezekiah III is a new gamer who just spawned in.

Dude, there was actually this really... It's an Onion article headline like changed my life. It was like dipshit dad shows his daughter only music that he likes so she has nothing to relate to her friends about and i was like oh that's why that's bad like you just gotta let let people be i don't know that i feel like you'd learn on your own though yeah but like i think you'll go in with this complex of like being uh like a kid's like oh i'm an old soul they don't make music like this anymore and then all the other kids are listening to like tiktok porter robinson robinson ludwig x collabs and they're like yeah we don't know what you're talking about it's hard for us to relate to you

you're weird it is crazy i was just thinking people in chat like you made your song that will put her entirely out of touch with her generation you make your song and everyone in chat is just losing their mind saying banger and i'm like this imagine making music for your life and you're just like you've been 10 years learning it and doing it and then this jamoker comes along and it's just like i did this i think it's because the bar was on the floor because xqc had done it and it's like but he's the goat. It sounds like the silver. Don't lump yourself in with the XQC level. It sounds like the Spongebob story is in the white fucking room. He sees the game so differently.

Can we make you a producer tag? It's like Ludwig on the beat. Wouldn't be mine. Much cooler than that. Ludwig at your cervix. That's your cervix that is funny that's kind of fire that's good

that's fire you said that like it'd be bad but I said that before at your cervons devons you're funnier

without the accent no I like the accent that is you guys wanna do a mad lib I'm funny bro no I don't wanna do a mad lib bro

fuck off I don't wanna do a mad lib idiot we fucking felled off we didn't felled off we didn't felled off anyway boys let us know Idiot. We fucking felled off, bro. We didn't fell off. We done felled off. Anyway, boys, let us know in the comments if we felled off.

And girls, let us know in the comments if we felled off. And all my non-binary folk, have a great rest of your day. Fuck the rest of y'all. Wait, you don't want the opinion of the non-binary folks? Wait, you don't want their opinion? I have an important thing. I have an important thing. You can't win today.

Welcome to the yard. Yeah. Everybody. Welcome to the yard. Yeah. Everybody. Welcome to the yard. That concludes the yard. That's the end of the episode. Did we not say it? No. No. We never said it. No, maybe we did. No, we didn't. We didn't. We definitely didn't. You felled off. What episode are we on?

57. 58. What episode are we on? What episode are we on? 56. What is it? Aiden wins. You're 58? I'm usually the one who's right. You are? And he only knows because he is self-indulgent. If you want to watch the bonus episode, you can go to patreon.com.

Does the promo count? No, it's premium 57. So it's just 57.2? You can't count it. It's just premium. Slash the yard. I'm just asking questions. This is 58.

Guys, remember episode 58? Good time. If you forgot to cancel your subscription, you can go there and cancel it. You all can feel your tongues in your mouth right now. Don't do it, Ludd. You have so much time to live. You think you got what it takes.

I watched the end of the Cold Ones episode again and I was like, holy shit. Me just saying, try it. Oh my god. I've never... That is fucking rancid. I've never done that in my life. Alright, everybody.

Thanks for watching and continuing to... Stop it! We're gonna see you next week when we have felled on. Bro, my ass smells like shit. We gotta go. Bye!