The Yard - Ep. 60 - The Aftermath of Getting Swatted

Episode Date: August 31, 2022

This week, the boys talk about being swatted live on stream, Aiden nearly missed a flight because of a banana and how ludwig now hates stanz because of mini golf.

I Just took a sip and I got it back pretty good. That's good, right? Yeah, I put my ingredient in it. What's your ingredient? What's your ingredient? You want some fucking ass? Secrets are I don't know stop being coquettish what does that mean is that like a french pastry what it means when you have cocaine and you're not sharing it with anyone and then that's the secret ingredient that's it's coquette ish it's like you're not sharing it like enough yeah you put it in it to be like croquet gee why Where are my fucking mangoes? Why do you fucking treat me like this?

I hate you. I literally What are you talking about? He doesn't live here, but what he does is he comes and he raids the pantry. And then Cutie likes to buy yummy snacks that are healthy. So she bought dried mangoes once. They aren't even your snacks? No, but I ate them all.

You're asking where they are? They're in your fucking stomach they haven't restocked in like a month and it's fucking disgusting they're never coming back you people are disgusting we're not disgusting we didn't get more fucking dried mangoes we didn't get to eat the treat i don't care this is how i felt when the bread bowl finally ran out because we were getting free Red Bull for so long. And we ran out. And I was like, where's our fucking Red Bull? Where's my fucking birthright? Where's my free Red Bull that is sent to us because of my roommate's social status?

Where is it? Yeah, that was crazy. You've had it too good for too long. Can I say that? Yeah. What did I do? You've had it too good for too fucking long. I didn't have it too good for too long.

I'm taking back what's mine. Dude, you need to go back to the closet. Go back to the closet. Go back to the closet. I will. You want me to go back to the closet? You've had it too good for too fucking long. I didn't have it too good for too long. I'm taking back what's mine. Dude, you need to go back to the closet. Go back to the closet. Go back to the closet. I will. You want me to go back to the closet? You won't do it. You won't do it.

Yo, yo, yo. A sub-a-thon, but it's in a closet. Are you kidding me? You are asking me to fucking live my dream, so don't fucking tempt me. This cannot be your dream. Because nowadays you'd be like, I could do it, but my back really hurts. No, my back's fine. I would do it.

Your house paid. I'm saying do not fucking try me on this. like you know your dream like i could do it but like my back really hurts no my back's fine i would do it i can pay my car payment four times and it'd be less than your rent now is your current house not the opposite of a closet it's it's it is a three-bedroom you have a yoga room yeah what it's not a yoga room it's just a room where i do you know he called it he has a house that's like the size of the old house that we lived in together for him. That's bougier than me. I know. It's insane. But if you tell me, that's true.

You haven't come over. I haven't been there. You're a piece of shit. None of us have come over. I have. This is a multifaceted issue because he likes to say, no, don't come over. I don't like having people over too. Yeah.

But one time I asked to come over. He said, no. Really? Well, yeah. when we were trying to do movie club you were like oh yeah it was too many people because it was you dan and ryan wow oh yeah there's too many people three people yeah well it's four too many people for your for your three what's crazy is i've never been invited it's not about a space thing yeah i did i invited you but you didn't want to come no when it When? You were doing something in like West LA

and I said you should come by on your way and then you never did. But it was okay because you were busy. Kipo. It's not Kipo. It's just true.

You also didn't come last night for House of Dragoon. Yeah. Fuck you. There was no mangoes. Why would I come? Oh my God. I'll get you fucking mangoes.

Give me back what's mine. We were watching the melee event last night and mango's playing pretty well and Aiden's like cheering for mango and. Give me back what's mine. We were watching the mail event last night and mangoes playing pretty well and Aiden's like cheering for mango. Then he stops. He's like, wait, we can't have them on the pot again.

It's been too. What the heck? It's been too soon. We can't do back to back. Why not? It wouldn't be because it'd be next week because he's like traveling right now, but it would be soon again.

It'd be two in a month. Two mangoes? I can't believe that you selfishly don't want to hang out with the goat and want him to succeed so that we can talk about shit and come i want him to succeed in spaced increments and that's why i'm a good friend you said you know what you shouldn't have said to him that was a good idea on the podcast you should have said mango i don't want you around that much why truth yeah yeah you should have you should be like maybe every other what was too abusable you think mango doesn't win lawless and then we gotta have him on because we didn't make any addendums he forms lawless just to keep

coming on the podcast looks like mango beat ringler again gotta do another app uh ringler for just the primo that'd be actually kind of come for the primo and to booze up. He'd be our new Josh man. Fair enough. We do need a new Josh man. Yeah, we would whore him out. Oh, now he wants it. This guy.

I see how it is. You old piece of shit. I am tired of you. I can't believe you finally made a video. What? About the fucking, about the police activity. About the swatage? Yeah, I finally made an intro to the yard.

Welcome, everyone, to the yard. Oh, my God, our names are up here now. Look at our names. Episode 61. Mine says Big Dick Stacy because for five hours, I'm not allowed to tweet. What? Yeah, because I told- Oh, you got banned for your cop tweet?

No, because I told someone to kill themselves that was talking to me about cops. You say that a lot. Yeah, you probably shouldn't do a lot I shouldn't do it Yeah, I agree There's not really a but scenario But I was mad And I And I am genuinely

So mad when I think about this shit happening That I just say We're in a rage It's funny because that happened a while ago at this rage yeah we like so like it's funny because that happens like a while ago at this point but we never spoke about it the swatage the the one where that he tweeted about yeah right and uh and we were I wanted to I want to talk about that one in particular because we were making jokes the day of because all of us got brought out and like sort of just that was the first time it ever happened and we got brought out and like put to the side and whatever probably

the most chill one except for him except for me who got like a bunch of guns put to his head and got screamed at and we were all like what the fuck is that it was why did that happen and i'm not gonna reveal the secret sauce but but we like to say it's because he was the only bald one yeah and it clearly made him look like a villain in the back of the squad car he's like yeah we hate baldies yeah i'm just I'm the bad guy. They're more likely to be murderous. Yeah. Yeah, I also can talk about,

so not any yard episode, not any premium episode, not any fucking 4 a.m. sleepover. The funniest bants I've ever had were with Ludwig in the back of a cop car. Yeah, you cuffed in the car. We were in the back of a cop car in like, I don't

know what time and we're both handcuffed it was actually it was a podcast it was the second time it was the second it was a podcast it was crazy that time it was me and anthony in the other one and we were saying the same thing when we came out we both had the same reaction it's like yeah we were killing in the back of the car we were from being so mad that this was happening to wondering if we can ask the police for the car recording. I'm saying straight up, we swat ourselves. Just love up. We love up first.

Yeah, those cocksuckers thought that, dude, they were so fucking mean. One of the other times they came, they said that they asked us why we were doing this as if it was like a prank that we were enjoying. We're cuffed on the ground outside on the street. And they're yelling at us saying, yeah, your friends got just get a fucking different job. We're going to start charging you guys to come out here. And I'm looking up and I'm like, we don't want this. Are you insane? You've been here before.

I also pay taxes. It's crazy. You are charged. It makes me so mad. What the fuck? There are. They're so fucking mean. pay taxes it's crazy you already charged me for you to come out here what the fuck there are they're so they're so fucking mean it's so hit or miss on the cop because then like yesterday there was a cop who came and he's like this cool tall asian dude he's like do you want twitch

and i was like no i'm on youtube he's like i i was five minutes ago and now i'm out here some of them are it's so interesting because some of them are like they're just kind of there for the ride and they just locked and loaded and you know what i've always said not all cob s cap bro no but it was firefighters are kind of chill and my theory is that firefighters also beat their wives but at least they run into the burning building firefighters are heroes i don't i love all firefighters they run into the burning building but I think they still put her down all firefighters are based I remember one guy he was like

it was basically me I'm standing around they finally uncuffed me and he starts asking me the same questions like so guys like you said you do YouTube like we're at the dentist's office and it's like I get it like you just came along to shoot like a dog in the head. But there's no dog here, so I'm sorry.

But not the time. That's what makes me really, really mad is how, like, casual they are about it after. As if, like, as if this was no big deal. And it's like, yeah, this was, like, a traumatizing experience. And now we're just, like, now you're just asking me questions like sorry i guess nobody was kidnapped in the home like yeah like we didn't get to shoot a guy in the head today anyway let's just talk about our the weather they do talk about their day like it's like a water cooler conversation but it was like right after that and they're doing it yesterday they're still holding guns

yeah they're still holding guns rifles because it's just their jobs so desensitized to it but it's so weird to see. And then at one point, Aiden was bringing up how cutie has like a bit of PTSD from the swattings to the police officer. And the police officer is like, yeah, man, I've seen adults scared of 10 year old kids. I can't tell you what to be scared of. And I was like, and then during that, like the way he was nodding his head. And I said this on the video uploaded too, but it's like, this is just like, if I were talking to like a hotel staff about how my room's dirty and it's like, they're not the

cleaning service. They're not the management. They have no power except for the ability to shoot a gun. So they're just like smile and wave and they do nothing. It's crazy. They're the front desk. Yeah. Except their arm. Except their arm and can kill. They're so uncoordinated too. I think that do nothing it's crazy they're the front desk yeah except their arm

except their arm and can kill they're so uncoordinated too i think that's what it's like they haven't even figured out like what a post-mortem is yet because this like each cop asks me the same questions and writes it down in their own individual notebook i get asked every time at least four different times what my birth date is what my name is what my phone number is that egregiously this time where's my ID I'm like oh sorry it wasn't in my pocket when you cuffed me in my home

yeah sorry I didn't get it for you oh my bad it isn't on me it's like do you remember your license number it's like yeah man I have that one memorized why do they keep asking that is it like a fucking joke I think that's worth remembering. Who remembers their fucking license number? I've tried to remember it.

It is worth remembering, but it's not like, it's insane if you just know it. No. I know the first four. Two things. Yeah, I know the first three. The two things worth remembering is license number and then a credit card number. Just always have that in your head. Sure, but you know.

Two things worth remembering, get money and get paid. Ooh, shit. Chassidy May. Get money, get paid. I will say I was in the squad car and I looked and they had my file up and uh-oh six foot two according to the coppers you're lying oh because you're lying you're literally lying i'm not fucking i'm not you know that one of the times this happened uh they were literally talking it was after the first time they were i heard them talking about did you guys know that this was like a youtuber

like they were they were admitting that they fucked up but like trying to talk about it away from us yeah so embarrassing so like what happens when like just for some background like when this has happened to you before and then you work with the police they put you on what's called a has hit list which basically means this has happened to this address before it was fake and next time you call and this time what happened is they didn't call they texted me oh did they which i don't know why they arrived after it happened oh cool and they were like hey please call i think something's happening oh nice it was the most like it was like the most like it was like a child wrote it like i was like what the fuck is this i called him like hello and they're like oh don't worry we got it all settled we gotta say there's a fucking hole in your

ceiling when i texted you to do a photo shoot like an hour before the photo shoot it didn't feel like that you could be a cop you'd be actually a really good cop because you're a fucking idiot well and you and you don't show up i also love my community you're incompetent and you love America. I love donuts. One of the things that Ludwig's mom told us about him is when he would fly to France

and they would go to France and he'd be pissy all trip as a little kid. Yeah. He'd be like moping around. His sister's like just dancing around with the fucking flowers

and having a great time. And he's like, oh, this is different country. But he lands in the USA, touches down. He would be happy again. It's Bruce Springsteen born in the USA listening to it for all the wrong reasons and I'm popping off

you gotta be near a dunkies Ludwig has a Punisher logo on his fucking phone case dude just like one of those his mom said like he just loves this country I do love America I remember back in the day my cousin used to troll me because I was like six and we

were in France and he would have me, we're like sitting on some balcony in a busy street and he's like, yell out that you love George Bush. And this is like peak Bush stupidity. Yeah. You know, like Iraq war. And so I'm just out there and I'm like, fuck it, baby. I love George Bush. And I'm a six year old yelling it and they're just laughing.

I'm like, I don't get it, because he's probably chill. Oh, you're six? I'm like, literally six years old. Oh, that's funny. You and him couldn't read. He shared that. It's like, oh, two. I'm doing this. I remember being, uh, I would find books

of comics, like newspaper comics in libraries, and I would read through political comics when I was like you know I'd be like 8 years old or 9 years old at the library reading through and so many of them were about Bush and making fun of them but I don't have any grasp of current events

so none of the jokes actually hit so I just am reading pages of them bullying George Bush but without any context and I very specifically remember sitting between bookshelves and being like hmm they still don't like him like yeah he's still this fellow is not very beloved is he zipper i sent you a photo i just wanted to bring up uh i wanted to show viewers who do you think caused this damage was it a uh someone who broke into our house or or b lapd i'll give you a second to think about it i thought this was fucking hilarious so at first i heard that they fell through the ceiling like a

cartoon because i i was in the car and they came out and they're like hey we have to like give you a form to like claim damages and i'm like we fell through the ceiling i thought what happened was they came up the yard and they fell down the pulley thing. Yeah, because you described it and I was like, oh no, the attic door. That's Eamon's bathroom. That's what I thought too. Because that would make sense to fall through but instead what happened

is they went really thorough in their attic search and went through a crawl space, saw Zipper, the 3D form of him, panic. Like the simpsons episode yeah and then just tried to unload a fucking clip on him yeah he was like an asian in the matrix zipper's fine because it's kind of like he's more ethereal and then they fell through so wait you you got swatted went downstairs without checking what happened didn't really i'm sure people kind of know but

we also never really said that at the beginning, that this happened. Oh, sure, yeah. We got swatted. So today's Monday, this happened yesterday on Sunday. So you got swatted during your chess tournament. Yeah. And then this all happened.

Then you, without looking at what you just saw near the front door, you just went downstairs and did a mogul mail. Yeah, yeah. That's insane. Not even, I just went live. Content machine, don't stop, baby. But you could have just looked to the left.

Yeah, no, I didn't do that. No, that's, it was mind-blowing. I'd be like. That is crazy. Because you have to, there was so much insulation everywhere on the stairs that you actively had to not look to the left. You didn't even have to go up to see the damage. You might have smelled it if you tried hard enough.

That is, You are crazy What I did He's a man on a mission I was in there And I was annoyed Because at first I was in the squad car For like 30 minutes

40 minutes And then I got out And then I was like Okay Let me try to talk And make sure this doesn't happen again Realize quickly

That's not gonna work So then I just went inside Try to find Coots Mission 1 Yeah yeah And i said coots and i heard her meowing from outside the door that i just closed so god bless her heart that's the only thing i was worried about she came right to me there's coyotes around and then and then and

then uh and then i just beelined downstairs because i didn't want i wanted to finish a chess tournament oh sure but then i realized i was like about an hour late and some people had hard outs so i i couldn't do it so i was bummed so then i just talked about it said yeah it's uh you know i when it when this happened a couple times i went to the police station because calling them you cannot you have to find the watch commander and uh that person is hard to talk to they're just hard to reach i went in physically to police station and i said this is happening i explained the situation of the person at the front desk who was armed with a gun and i said this is happening I explained the situation to the person at the front desk who was armed with a gun and I said this is happening and then she

looked it up she's like oh yeah we have that on file and I was like okay well it just happened again so and everyone said they were confused and that they didn't have it on file or they didn't tell us that and she's like pissy at me that by this point no we have it we'll call you

fuck off so they fucking didn't so that's cool that's what it's unreal you guys are like you guys are like just tell them just fucking there's all these systems you have to like go and you have to like do this we did we did everything they don't care of incompetence that is like so clearly visible from talking to these people over and over and again is insane because i already like through just like seeing seeing things and researching things like already lacked like a kind of a a calculated like on paper lack of faith in the police but as i interact with them more uh over the past like couple years in person and have these like personal experiences with them it like really emphasizes how disorganized

it all is it's real and it's like i it's like it's all these like normal i think the way you described it with the starbucks barista thing it's like normal guys who like might otherwise be like getting jobs where they're like you know like fucking making food where you can like learn to do it in a day and like you know maybe you get better at it after a few weeks but the problem is and that's great making food is awesome we all need food but the problem is it's those same people that are suiting up in uniform and rolling up to the house with guns pointed at my fucking face yeah and it's like I think I just want a higher degree of competence out of the organization that's doing this because it's fucking

I think it would be nice I feel like I feel like with something that is this popular on the internet which we all have free access to by the way I've asked them directly I'm like do you know what this term means do you know what twitch is and they're just like no and I'm like how is this not at this point part of your training that like this might

happen during your time in Los Angeles yeah of all places even the people that show up, like, we were talking to people that have all been to our house for the first time. Like, there was this, like, smaller group of people that we talked to after that they hadn't been to one of the calls at our house before. Because it's been a while since

this happened. And I almost, like, I can, I can, I expect more, but I do understand from their perspective, like, what is happening. Like, you've never been here before. You just get a call from dispatch that this kidnapping or whatever is happening at this address and you show up and you do your fucking job. Like I get that part, but half of these fucking guys have been here before and know exactly

what's going on and are just too lazy or don't give enough of a shit to make sure like, hmm, guys, maybe it's not a real fucking murder happening in the house this time. It just, it doesn't make any fucking sense. I think there's like, there's the obvious guy

who's fucking licking the Cheetos off his fingers to start typing this right now that I want to address who's saying like, bro, they have to come. What do you want them to not come? What if it's real next time?

It's like, no, we understand that part. The issue is that like I have empathy for like the cop who's like, they just just doing their job and coming but a lot of times it's the same exact people and they escalate the situation compared to last time every time they've come has been more police like helicopters at some point every time it gets worse the second and third time were the exact same squads who asked me to explain everything that's

happening so of course i'm like well is this guy named ken learn to grab etc and and fucking twitch and what it is and then the guy said to me after i explained i took it took actually maybe 15 to 20 minutes to explain the entire context and he goes yeah i know i was here last time yeah i'm like why'd you ask that was insane why are you asking the same questions every time and this is what it always boils down to. When I'm talking to the guy, because we brought this up last time, we talked in circles with this one dude for a while.

He changed his answers to some of your questions as we talked through the conversation, which was funny. But I was like, at the end of the day, it's like, there is an understanding that this happens, that nothing is going wrong. And I'm like, I understand that I'm not trying to equivocate their fame, but think about this.

Do you think this happens to like Kourtney Kardashian, whose address is very public? Tens of millions of people follow that person. And this probably happens to this person, but you guys don't do this to that person's house. So what's the difference? Just tell me what you did. Ask me what to do. Like that is all I want is to talk to the person who will make sure that we just get

a fucking phone call you gotta start a billion dollar makeup company so yeah yeah you're not pretty one thing it's one thing for like them to come and then like it happens whatever and then after they're sort of like apologetic and like empathetic to how we feel how we must be scared some of them are and some of them are like a majority of them are not right and i wasn't here for this last one and for the all the ones before it was only they were all dicks and the ones yeah the ones who were potentially nice were in the back not saying anything because they are ranking or whatever people that were nice were the people that came back because one of them lost a watch in our attic and they still can't find it yeah

no we gave it to them and uh crazy and they so three of the people that were like nicer came back but all the people who are like fucking dicks so when you say when you say shit to us like get a fucking new job we're not gonna one of them literally said the words we are not going to come next time and i'm like oh i feel like good don't come yo homies that's fucking sick when you when you when they say shit like that it is so hard to not walk away from the situation like mad and trusting the establishment the system that you live in so much less because like we could very easily just be mad at like the broader system that exists in place to send the actual patrol or whatever it's called the squadron that comes to

the house right and if they're like empathetic to us and like you know actually just doing their jobs then we don't have to be necessarily mad at them we can just be we can sort of make a call in and try to solve it from the top down but instead it's like the problem exists at all levels where at the top they're like we're gonna call you and they're they're kidding they're just trolling it was a big joke and at the bottom they like they hate the way they describe it is like all these layers that like are completing the execution of this from the person answering the call to the police department getting dispatched to the people on the streets that are actually showing up these people are super disconnected it's not this magical cohesive system where they're super communicative with each other and they're all in sync about like

okay this address is flagged now it's so it's so disorganized i kept calling them the grounds crew in the video which was really funny because they're not like doing yard work well they're like they're like i mean what i meant is a ground they're like boots on ground they're the people at the end of the system getting the final little ground screw like they you. Yeah, they call them the grounds crew, like they're laying sod. They are laying their sod on me. They're laying it in my fucking brain. Yeah, so, like, I think, by the way, I think that one of the

last things is, like, again, you might be licking the Cheeto dust off, trying to fucking get in there and type because you got the Punisher tattoo. Let me explain what it's like and how confusing it can be and why people get fucking killed. Like, especially if they're not white and this is not this is not this is the real deal okay i walk outside i'm the last one out this is

the first time this happened you open the door instantly giant bright light i cannot see anything it is blinding okay it's also never happened to us before yeah we're on we're on the internet we know what's going on but we don't know what we're supposed to do we don't know what the you know best practices etc i also know the standard idea of don't just do what they say and don't move fast right okay so okay open the door i'm blind yeah i hear a megaphone they're screaming at me with the megaphone get outside step outside right now i'm like okay and i step outside slow down okay turn around okay i turned around it was too fast slow down right then it's like put your hands on your head okay no not like that interlock your fingers i'm like okay it's very confusing yeah and and they will often give you

like conflicting information at the same time two people will be like get on your knees and then put your hands on the back of your head and one's like don't move Yeah But multiple people are shouting at you and when you ask for I remember this That what the second time it happened because the first the very first time when that happened Anthony I wasn't there I was the only person not at the house So the second time was my first time and I walk out and it's it the lights are pointed at you So it's like really bright and you can't really make out what's going on other than like

you can see cops over cars with guns but nothing is clear because it's like really blinding and as they're shouting at you they shout different things and you I don't know I you know I'm lucky I've lived a privileged life I've never been on the other end of a gun like this before it's a really terrifying experience to know that like

that's it's just one moment away you're so close to the end right now it's like yeah it could be you kind of have to go in the back of your mind and like this could be it like it could be yeah you're trying to not move but you're also like kind of shaking because you're scared so it's like you're trying to you're trying to also contain that because you don't want to seem weird or like you're moving in a way yeah but they don't like extremely confusing and as they give the conflicting instructions what i hated the most is when you ask for clarification they all continue to shout the same things they do not answer your question they just say the same things until you figure it out and all this time you're running through all the news stories of like somebody misstepped somebody did this and then they just started shooting and you start to imagine

like all the worst case scenarios. And I said earlier, I don't mean to belittle any type of job. I don't think anybody who works a desk job or just goes to normal school or makes food or does any type of job should just be able to walk relatively easily into a type of profession like this where you get to hold another human at gunpoint and make the decision of whether or not they live or die like it's just fucking without without going to jail if you do it yeah yeah and i i is truly one

of the most terrifying experiences that has happened in in my life and i yeah so so i'm going so like i'm basically i i finally i do what they say and then they tell me to stand up i'm like okay well i was on my knees and then i walk to the driveway which is a do what they say and then they tell me to stand up i'm like okay well i was on my knees and then i walk to the driveway which is a bit of a walk and then so i walk to the driveway all of a sudden the light is no longer shining my face and i can see everything it is i believe i counted nine it was nine police officers kneeled down like a fucking team photo for football with the fucking shotgun with the bitch with the work What is it is it ar-15? What's the gun? I think it's shotguns

It was the one from it was the one from modern warfare to the automatic shotgun They had the ACOG and that was the gun as no no the automatic one. That's a semi. Oh shit the judge no There's always one guy on the team with the shorty it's kind of weird 12 yeah i showed up and i was never worried about that guy i want to be clear he's like i'm a vandal user it's just because i get the head taps yeah i'm hitting my shots today yeah it was pull us out of the house they're like you it's like i don't know i kind of think the phantom is better as well the a12 i don't know i don't know if it was actually this one but that's what it looked like, I don't know. I kind of think the Phantom's better. This is what I want to read. The AA-12. I don't know if it was actually this one, but that's what it looked like when I saw it. Yeah, and one of them had the gold tiger camo,

so I knew he was... He's got a lot of headshots. He's been fraggish. So I'm on my knees. This guy. I don't think they had that. It looked like that. That looks like fucking World War II shit.

That's what it looked like. Anyway, so I go, and finally I see all these cops, and I'm like, whoa, there it is. Like, this is it, boys. And the same thing, like Aiden said, you think about it a lot. You're like, man, one wrong move and I'm fucking dead here. And they're screaming at you. And you're like, they say, get down on your knees, turn around.

Like, okay. And finally, I'm staring at the garage, and my hand's behind my head, and there's nine cops behind me pointing guns at me. And I thought about how funny it would be if they blew my fucking head off in front of all of my friends and their girlfriends. I thought that would kind of be really funny.

And that was the thought I had before I met my maker. And I just want you guys to know, you think that I do it for the studio audience, that's fucking right. I can confirm that when everything was said and done, he walked in, and I think the first thing he said was like, dude, it would have been so funny if they killed me. Yeah.

It would have. And we were all mad, not at them, at him in the moment. Like, no, dude, it would have been fucking funny. We were all shaking up. I was like, ah.

Yeah, and then they get down on you they put your knee on uh their knee on your back there was like two of them on me and like riot shields in person i was like holy shit yesterday i'm like pussies yeah one man army behind there they're new to it so anyway that's like that's what it's like and i genuinely anyone who likes to chirp on the internet about like oh that fucking black guy just shouldn't have been existing at that time. And it's like, you just, it is so confusing and scary. I cannot, I cannot overstate how. It can happen. if you understand like the the version that you're reading and how it could be terrifying for

somebody it finally it finally experiencing it from that perspective and realizing like oh this is how all those people died is fucking insane yeah it is an insane feeling the most annoying part is it interrupts my stream that was like donos for like an hour i hate that that's the part that pissed me off the most that's all he cares about i will say beautiful you know what the first thing i thought of was in time so because i wasn't home when this happened for this time i was here the other three but for this time i wasn't home and i got the text which i thought was before it was happening but it's actually after it was happening which is insane and uh i get it and i'm i'm sort of like fuck i think i think they're being swatted oh shit um and so i called the police station that

was you said the most casual message in the group chat well i didn't know if it was real when i said when i messaged it i didn't know if it was really there's like no call from nick he's just like they're swatting going on because you're not you're not live i don't see anything online or anything so i'm just like is this real and anyway so uh i'm like yo y'all fucking vibing uh and uh uh what was i saying um oh so i'm sitting there i'm like i'm like making like i'm fuck i hope they're okay and i haven't i haven't heard word from either you guys yet but i know how it goes so i assume you'll have your phones on you or whatever and then i realize it i'm like oh my god remember the the sketch we shot for the patreon leak episode in the beginning oh you thought about your gun i was like I have a fake gun in my room

Oh no And it's sitting like on my bed And I was like oh my god They're home with a fake gun Cause there's no orange tip It's like an airsoft gun that from like 5 feet away looks real And I was like oh fuck And then I'm with Zipper 2 and she's like

Holy shit I put that away this morning Cause it was scaring me So I dug it like deep into a box And I was like that is so close Because it really can be as simple As that where like for someone like me Who's just not home like maybe they're Walking you guys through the house

And then they see a gun on the bed Or you're in your room Because this time was different normally they take you outside This time for you guys, they did everything inside. That was the difference. The one big difference with this time versus last time is every other time this has happened, there's been, I would say, a majority

of us home at the house. Or in the case of the first time, we had friends over. But this time, it was only me and Ludwig at the house. Ludwig is in his stream room, which is on the opposite side of the street. It's the opposite side of the house fur Ludwig is in his stream room, which is, like, on the opposite side of, like, the street. It's, like, the opposite side of the house, furthest away from where the cops are, like, megaphoning.

And he's streaming. And then I was upstairs in my room, headphones in, playing Melee. I was just, like, I wanted, because he had just got spotted, I didn't make fun of it. But I was, I wanted to make fun of it so bad. Just, like, imagine it's, like, just, like, instead of us just being like aiden aiden it's the fucking police behind him they all have guns

and then he's not turning around he's like huh fuck can you imagine like can you imagine the the movie of that where i'm like huh and then and then someone on the other side of netplay is like yeah some asshole she quit out on me the other day he just stopped moving it was so fucking your phone thing what do you want what i didn't hear anything uh because they would have broken the door down they they had things to break the door down luckily luckily i just forgot to lock the door when i came home and they opened it uh because eventually they have to come in if like nobody comes out without uh there's a bunch of Legos and marbles and stuff and they start slipping and sliding around what I heard was

you didn't hear them at all you had gone upstairs to get water and then they were just in the house and then they start screaming screaming at Ludwig and then that's what I hear I'm like what is going on and then I pull it and then I hear like downstairs hear i'm like what is going on and then i pull it and then i

hear like downstairs i'm like oh police are in the house very cool and then i like open my door and just lay on the ground outside my door and just say like i'm up here my name's aided i'm up here you're like the pelican you're like the pelican and the flintstones that they shit inside their mouth and he's like it's 11 dude they were walking me out and they just had like three guys pointing guns at coots who's at the top of the stairs and i'm like bro it's a cat they're just like fucking down he's like false alarm cat's white keep moving i think my general thought on the police as a whole is that they're funded by the people but it feels kind of like what it is to be

like a preferred youtuber like where i feel like i can get away with more because i am paid millions by youtube and they stand to benefit if i succeed so like i feel like i can get away with things like you know getting something undemonetized or unage restricted or maybe even getting a strike skirted right like more power than the average user has. And it fuels very similar. I imagine in police's relationship with like politicians or, or like really rich people or people in power. And it doesn't feel like you get the same treatment as a common person. And then the stakes are also a lot higher.

Like I feel a lot more comfortable hiring private security. Like that makes me feel really good and comfortable and i love when they're around with their big guns but when a police is around with a big gun it feels a lot worse because i don't feel like i am a preferred person which is the bulk of people but they're also what pays for it like it's a weird thing yeah getting boss baby vibes youtuber says that cops are kind of just like youtubers honestly i've been saying that i think it's a good point because it's like you they and the reason why ludwig i'll explain this cops are

like minions and i want to be grew i've been watching a lot of legal eagle and he's basically it's liability right if the cop if a cop is responsible for something bad happening you can sue the city which has a giant amount of resources and get a lot of money. So all like ideas behind state police and county police is to stop people from suing them. And that's why they're such cunts and are trained to be such cunts, right? Because it's like, you know,

oh, we tried, but beyond a reasonable doubt, we like didn't do this, you know, to be able to be charged or something. Right. And that's that's where it lies in a private security it's like easier to forge a relationship with that we live in a country we are at odds with our own government because of the litigiousness of you know you can

sue anyone and i think that's that's why i will see you police there's a good job go ahead send the police i'll just have sex with them. Anyway, that was how it goes down, you know? Fucking swag, bitch. Not so bad. Dude, next time they come, we should be dressed as cops. We've been looking for these guys. We've been looking for these guys for fucking hours.

We open all the doors as fast as possible. Like, yeah, I searched this room. I searched this room. No, I killed the cat. Don't worry. Fucking KIA. Dude, we should dress like FBI agents and then say they're out of their jurisdiction you guys boys gotta go home this is fbi now yeah uh i'm agent mcgillicuddy this is we have will neff come in cia we're like oh hey sorry no this is fbi that might be a bad look now because after the trump raid one of the guys with the one of the guys with the punisher phone case might start unloading on the fbi that's true yeah he might be like finally it's my time he's like why is my passcode not working i'm doing this for donnie

punisher phone sorry but jim we gotta switch phones we have the same punisher tattoo oh yeah mine's 0001 so go to 1738 what is what is to switch topics here? What is your CGP Grey thing? Because I have a CGP Grey thing. I know. Well, okay. So you start. You tell your side of the story. Yeah, speaking of skirting strikes.

So on my VOD channel, I got two strikes in the past like 60 days. And if you get three in 90, then your channel gets terminated. And I think the policy is all other channels then your channel gets terminated and i think the policies all other channels are meant to be terminated as well and my vod channel had two um vods one from the subathon and one from like a few months ago that had a cgp gray video that i must have watched i don't really remember it this is a youtuber who uh is kind of like reddit incarnate like if reddit

was like uh albin norak from elden ring like a man-made figure who just kind of like Reddit incarnate. Like if Reddit was like Albin Norak from Elden Ring, like a man-made figure who just kind of hobbles around like a blob, this is CGP Grey. I think he has dope videos. I've been watching him since high school. Yeah, he's banger video.

Yeah, his videos are great, but... But he's Reddit man. I like Reddit too, though. He is literally... He made a video about Reddit. Yeah, he probably loved... I think he blew up from reddit originally that's great for him which is like a lot of youtubers did like wubby

and michael reeves he made the video about not tipping right that's him no that was uh i'm pretty sure that was the icysplitter from arizona i can't say his name i'm pretty sure he did i think it's old it's old i mean really let me look talking about rube keep going

yeah uh anyway it's old. It's old. Really? Let me look. You're talking about Rube? Keep going. Yeah. Anyway. I can't say. It's not Voldemort. Did you break your chair? Oh, no. Double snap. I'm fat.

You broke the chair? Yeah. Oh, you're me. No, because I can still sit in it, idiot. Anyway, I got two strikes from him for the video. One got uploaded in 2021. One got uploaded a couple months ago, but I got them like a couple weeks apart. So I have two strikes on my channel.

I'm one away from termination. And so I shot him an email. I originally tried to tweet at him being like, yo, follow me. He didn't. And then so I shot him an email, which was just like, hey, I got the strikes. I'm just going to wait the 90 days

because I think that I won't get terminated because it goes up after 90 days of getting it. And it expires like September something. Yeah. But I just sent him an email apologizing because I think he's very anti-react yeah so the lore is that he's very anti-react so he'll

strike things like that which like I can find sympathy with I think it's valid I was wrong it's a grade A under A that makes way more sense you can see the stick figure kind of information yeah i i remember because i you tweeted at him and i was like why is he trying to talk to cgp

great and i started reading like in the discord with the mods and they're like oh yeah he's he he hates react content and that was why and then i was like that fucking guy that what that guy who would who would slurp the fucking nasty yellow cum out of elon musk's cock yellow because he does like vlog videos about like having a tesla and like going on my tesla drive i have seen that video and a lot of his like logistics videos are about like the beauty of automation and cars and like how it could solve everything and it's like fucking you fucking neck beard pussy don't strike my guy get the fuck out of here i don't feel similarly i do i like his videos i think he's in his rights to slime's two biggest hatreds are cops and cgp gray

cops and redditors i think that's and i think the cops of the internet i think i got a a fair amount of uh people behind me on that one so yeah i was just i was just really annoyed because it's like oh you're so much better than React content when you're fucking tweeting at Elon Musk, because I looked it up, saying that he would probably play this type of magic deck. Wait, actually? Yeah.

Fuck you, dude. Get the fuck out of here. So talk about how that represents your feelings. So you feel the same about CGP, right? I like CGP, right? I'm watching his videos since high school. I understand that, because it seems very. So you feel the same about CGP Grey. I like CGP Grey. I just want to make sure that I understand that because it seems very clear that you feel similarly to him. I uploaded his video. I re-uploaded.

That's not allowed. And so I think he's in his rights. I'm cool with it. I'll wait out the ban. Be nice to my mans. Do you? And don't give me an extra strike because my friend doesn't like you.

I'm sorry. Is the way that it works that there's no way it's automatic? Does he have to manually of manually go in? Yeah. Yeah, because if it was automatic, the video was uploaded in 2021 and it got striked

this past month. But is it possible to automate it where it go find everything? No, because it wasn't the same day either for them. Oh. I think he has to

manually go through and then decide what to strike because what YouTube does is they'll show you a list of videos that contain your video and they'll show you a list of videos that contain your video and they'll show you the percentage so this video contains 10 of your videos video

contains 100 of your video and so i imagine he saw sums with 100 because even though it's like an 11 hour vod of the subathon the three minute video he had 100 of it was in that yeah and so he was like did you not stop and start and be like, is oatmeal good? For the subathon, I could have even been doing the modcast. I might not even have been awake for it.

Yeah. You should take it out of the mods' pockets. I think the mods should pay this one. I think they should pay for their crimes. We'll take back

what's ours from them. Let's take back what's ours from the mods. But yeah, I'm tired of them. One strike away. I wonder what happened. Should we do it? What? Should we get a plate of fries from the mods. I'm tired of them. One strike away. I wonder what happened.

Should we do it? What? Should we get a plate of fries for the table? Let's just fucking strike out. Get striked. Let's see what happens. There's this big video trending on YouTube

called I sued YouTube and it's these people who striked a Russian owned channel three times and it was supposed to get taken down and all the affiliated channels taken down Because they had 39 other affiliated channels And YouTube kind of like skirted

Around and they're like well we're going to remove the videos That have the copyright thing and then They deleted like every other video that had copyrighted Things but we're not going to remove their channels So the guy sued them to try to get them To take everything down. Interesting. Failed Got thrown out. Really? I bet the end

user license agreement on YouTube is thick. Because the judge watches Market Player. It's a 90 minute video. I haven't watched it. I watched the first five minutes. So, I'm more asking the question. It feels like you can't

sue a company for not following the rules that they just made up. like you can't sue a company for not following the rules that they just made up. Probably not, but what he is suing for is that they're not following the DMCA laws, which require so the policies they have

align with the laws. So it's not just like a YouTube policy thing. In addition, just merely signing an agreement with a company, if it's found that it's not a really... Oh, if they violate their terms of service that they make. Sure, but also, even if their terms of service are like, they're kind of fucked up, you can still fight that in court, right? Yeah.

We're all humans. Section 1C, thou shalt not strike a channel down if the user says spot lock. Yeah. Because then it's theirs, and you can't get it. Having watched it, it's a little more nuanced, because I watched watched the whole thing and then I felt kind of weird about it. About the Kremlin-backed Google? Poise is like, the Kremlin is in cahoots with Google. Which, obviously, like...

Putin's nasty fucking hanky ass. It's fucking looking like a bowling ball inside of a sheet. There was a moment that I realized. So this was when I worked at Smash GG, which facilitates the voting process for Smash Summit, which is a fucking invitational Smash tournament where there's like this voting system where you buy votes, blah, blah, blah.

But it's all automated through this site called Smash GG or now called Start GG. And Aiden used to work there and he got a mug with his face on it. And that is true. And I used to work there. And we would facilitate- And you got a mug with your face on it. And that is true. And I used to work there. And we would facilitate... And you got a mug with your face on it.

The voting process... That's true, too. I got a mug with my face on it that you made a new one of... With your eye all fucking fucked up. And it says Eamon instead of Aiden. I realize now why we never finish fucking stories. Who are you talking about?

They automate the voting process. And I'm working there. And it's one of the first Smash, it's one of the first Smash Summits. It's one of the earlier ones. And Matt.zeb also works there who is a notable member of the New England Smash community

which was particularly well known for getting their players into Summit. With evil dark money from Roblox. Yeah, they were well coordinated money from Roblox. Yeah, they were well-coordinated and used Roblox money to get whatever New England player they wanted into Smash Summit by buying votes. And I remember,

because Matt.Zeb worked at SmashGG, these theories that took coincidental facts spelled out this grandiose plan of of matt.z being on the inside creating votes for new england and i remember reading that and being like this is fucking insane i watch i watch matt like fuck off at work for half the day now matt was actually really diligent but none of this is remotely true and you've just like and this is how conspiracy theories form but it was a very like first time example of like i'm on the inside this isn't how it is at all this is just a bunch of coincidences and incompetency that you've turned

into this theory of yours and i feel like that's every video like that every time i think about that is like there's probably a Google employee watching that video going like what the fuck are they talking about yeah if Google was actually in cahoots with the Kremlin the US government would get involved unless they were paid off with Bitcoin I don't know or if they all watch

Markiplier basically conspiracy theories are more fun than just the baseline normal of someone being dumb why don't they just google cock man's razor and then they would be like cock them hey cock them's raise man cock them devils fucking this this is the if you oh we know we know you were we were there this is how you fork them dude back when we were in fucking asu i was forking every day bro i've been thinking about i've been thinking about breslin a lot this week.

Yeah, like God rest his soul. What about? What about? And his dad. He had so much zest for life, you know? He just wanted to do so much, and it just got cut so short. He got cut down when he drowned. And he hated cops, too.

That's what I love about Breslin. He fucking hated cops. And his dad was a cop. Yeah, that's what I was about to say, too. His dad's a cop, and he hated him. And he hated him. And we did, too. We were like, Breslin, you're a fucking dead gay-ass cop. You know, this all I was about to say too, his dad's a cop and he hated him. And he hated him and we did too. We were like,

Breslin, you're a fucking dad's gay ass cop. You know, this is college, we talk like that. It was a long time ago. And he was like,

bro, fucking I know, S-Cab, bro, but not him. And we were like, ah! Because Breslin's dad

buys his beer, so obviously he can't really be in the all part. Yeah, true. That's true. Breslin's dad also texted that one underage girl that one time. Dude, Breslin had a wave board before Ripsticks came out. Yeah, true. That's true. President's dad also texted that one underage girl that one

time. I didn't like that. I didn't like that about President's dad. Before Ripsticks came out? Yo, yo, yo, yeah. We used to fucking learn how to...

When he had the Segway, he would get shit-faced on the Segway, his nuts swinging in the wind all through the quad. He didn't have a long nut. There's no quad.

At ASU, the quad. What's the quad? Where's the quad? Okay, the place with four walls. I'm a fucking idiot. There's no quad. Did you wait? Did he never go to the quad? Never went, the quad. What's the quad? Where's the quad? Okay, the place with four walls. I'm a fucking idiot. There's no quad. Did you wait?

Did he never go to the quad? Never went to the quad? At ASU. Wait, where was your grad night at? What do you mean grad night? Oh, ASU has grad night. Name the quad. Name fucking one.

Breslin. Breslin Matthews. I'm going to say name one football player to come from ASU. Breslin. Breslin Matthews, quarterback, all state. That's why I was in tragedy. He was third straight. He was third straight say name one football player to come from ASU. Breslin. Breslin Matthews, quarterback, All-State. That's why I was on track. He was third string. He was third string.

He was third string. So what? Third string. But he was on the team. Do you want third string? So you think third string isn't on the team. That's what you want to tell our third stringers out there. Tell it to Jake Cutler.

Look our third stringers in the eye. Tell them they're not on the team. I told his record to the school. Yeah. Sorry cops. Third stringers. Anyway, Forkham Devils. Forkham, baby. Forkham, Breslin. We all went to college together, but. Anyway, fork them devils. Fork them baby.

Fork them Breslin. We all went to college together but Ludwig for some reason doesn't like to acknowledge that. Yeah. He didn't go to college with me. You're wearing my shirt. Yeah.

We traded. You have my magic shirt. No, that's not how that works. You have it though. It is true. Ludwig came in my room and switched shirts with me.

Like off your body? And then he says that we switched shirts. Wait, wait. This is not how it happened. You're being dumb. We've talked about this before on the podcast. We switched on the pod because our outfits matched. That's way different. But I didn't want your shirt to keep. That's a different shirt. That is a different shirt than the one. You are misremembering in phenomenal ways. This is exactly what happened.

This shirt I got three years ago when I went into your room and I said I want one shirt. I know. The magic shirt you asked to have. No, but you said I have your magic shirt. I didn't ask to have that. Yes, you did. No, you did. It's on the episode.

You are such a racist. Yeah. I mean, no, we can talk about it. This is exactly what happened. This is exactly what happened. So you said, you said my shit looks like it matches with your shit. You're like, oh, switch. Let's switch.

I'm like, I don't want to switch. No, I remember this, but you wanted the shirt afterwards. No, I remember this. And then you wanted the shirt afterwards. No, I didn't. Then why did I get it back? His memory is bad. Because you have my shit. You've worn it since. Got a bad memory.

Because you have all my shit. Wait, wait. I only have this. No, you also have the shirt that I traded with. No, I did. Ghost on Dolls. I dead assed on it. Hey, Orcum Sun Devil.

You lost my shirt. I didn't lose it, bro. I don't have it, bro. Bro, I didn't lose it. Whoa. So you're holding my shirt hostage expecting your shirt returned? You're so right, King. Is that what it is? You know what is fucked up?

You both have literally like a hundred shirts. No, I don't. And that's what pisses me off. I threw out all my shit. I have a lot of clothes. You threw out your shit? He got rid of like eight garbage bags. He didn't throw it out.

He didn't throw it out. I donated it. You donated it? Did you really? I donated like four bags. He had Nick England go do it. No, it was me and Nick England. We did it together. Did you? Did you really? I donated like four bags. Well, Nick Yingling donated it. No, it was me and Yingling. We did it together.

Did you? Did you take your son to work day? We both were in my closet, and then he was like, no feelings, man. No feelings, man. Can't be attached to anything. Oh, he's your Marie Kondo? That's funny.

Is he the American Marie Kondo? Or Kondo? Nick Yingling on the cover of a book, just folding his arms, saying the nick yingling system yeah and then it says like in red text throw away your wardrobe that book is actually great that book actually helped so i just toss a bunch of shit and then you know the only point where he cracked is i had a shirt from duke vitro's a blue shirt that had a big v yeah you wore that you wore that smash cam calendar and the whole fucking time nick's's like, no feelings, man. I throw that in.

He's like, come on, man. I'm like, bro, no feelings. He's like, yeah, but. Not Duke. Yeah, I throw Duke's Insta. No. I threw it. He has no sentiment for clothes.

You know what I did find? No, I gave it up. Is our best buds shirt. Oh, yeah? I grabbed my shit from the garage. And I cleaned it. And I was going to wear it today, but I was like, maybe not. Yeah, we shouldn't match.

Why maybe not? I have mine too. Really? Yeah. Oh and then Aiden will be left out? Yeah. I never made Aiden the best blood shirt. Do you have yours still? Yeah. It's faded. It's really faded. We should all wear ours. Dude let's all wear ours next week. And like you can wear like some pajamas. Yeah you can wear some fucking weird shit that you always wear.

That'd be cool man. I give up all sentiment for clothing because I used to have it because when my dad died I went through his wardrobe and I took a few things but then like five years down the road I just had a polo Ralph Lauren green shirt that looked like throw up and had holes in it and I wore it around like it was normal

why are you roasting your dad's lack of drip it was not lack of drip it was more so the shirt was just decrepit because how old it was so you're saying your dad didn't have any swag or crypto or hose. He wore button down shirts, tucked in beer belly out. Had any crypto.

Oh, was he based? He was based. Yeah. He would watch the cooking channel every night. That was Australian. He does sound Australian. Yeah.

European close enough. Yeah. They got there. The Swedes, the Australian. He was just, he's an unconvicted Australian. Right. Yeah. He was, his family was from the UK. They just Swedes, the Australians. He was just, he's an unconvicted Australian. Right.

Yeah, yeah. He was, his family was from the UK. They just skirted around the law. Shouts out. I wish I could have met him. My pops? Yeah, he sounds cool. You guys.

Do you think we would have vibed? I don't know. You were eight. I was like 10 when I. I don't know. When you passed away, you were eight. I was what? I was 10.

I was 15. 45? No, it's like you were much older. You were much older. 26 maybe. I'm seven years older than you. No, you were 8. I was 10. I was 15. 45? No, it's like you were much older. You were much older. 26, maybe. I'm 7 years older than you. No, you'd be like 14. You're several years older.

Not that much. Several. Several couldn't also be 7. Hard to count. It might have been lower than 7. Is it? If I'm going to say several. Couples, 2.

Fuse, 3 to 4. Several, in my mind, is like 6. It's just over that. It's like 5, 6. Several is the infinity number. If I said to you, I've had several encounters of sex. I've had several STDs. several in my mind is like over that it's like five six several is the infinity number if i if i said to you i've had several encounters of sex i've had several std that sounds like a low number if i said i have several iphones that's like a lot of i think like you have in my head i've got

like six no but you know you have a lot of iphones which would be like any amount of iPhones more than three. I feel like in California, it goes like a couple, a few, several, a fuck ton. Well, okay, basically... A shitload. No, several is just like the businessman's fuck ton. Like, I ask if I want to buy a Desert Eagle from a guy I know, how many Desert Eagles

do you have for sale? He's like, I have several. Like, I know I'm not going to be like, oh, he won't have the one I want. I feel like if you say I have several in stock, you have for sale? He's like, I have several. Like, I know I'm not going to be like, oh, he won't have the one I want. I feel like if you say I have several in stock, you have at least 10 or 12 in stock. No, but I feel like, no way. Wouldn't fuckton be many? Wouldn't you say many at some point?

I have many in stock, sure. Yeah. Wait, is many or several more? I think many is more than several. Many is more than several. That's what I'm saying. I think several is still single digits. And then many is double digits.

More than two, but not many. We're right. That is the Google. I knew it. Is what Susan said. I actually think that they're associated with the Kremlin. But now we have to define many. Right.

That is a Kremlin influenced. Yeah. Let's look at the Kremlin backed website to find out what several means. That's a good point. I don't care about Russian. Yeah. Ditto. Moscow. Dude. Googlegle and it's minion themed yo they do it for every time a minion comes out and it's like a little it's yeah in the eyes and the eyes of the minion the goggles who pays who for that activation

is it minions pays google or google pays minions google oh the minions always gets the back this was always this was the question when Fortnite added Star Wars shit. Who paid who? Or is it just a... Fortnite paid Star Wars. I asked Nick Allen this

and he told me what he thought. Yeah. Because he doesn't know for sure, but he gave me a pretty solid answer. What'd he say? He said that he thinks that fucking,

he thinks that Fortnite paid Marvel. Yeah, you pay for the licensing to use it it depends because for avengers endgame i think they did a collab where fortnite got to be in avengers and then avengers got advertising through fortnite yeah at some point at some scale right it's basically two-way marketing it's like disney might want star wars characters in a video game played by tens of millions of people,

mostly kids, who haven't watched their properties yet. I feel like there's a little bit of like, it's more like a barter system. It's basically two giant corporations,

69. That's exactly what I was thinking of in my head and that's not a joke. These are companies that are so large that they pay themselves for services.

Like at Disney, if one part of Disney needs something from another part of Disney, they have to pay disney to use it but like yeah yeah yeah there's like divisions and so like it's like a way to keep the books clean like no one's actually really like like the disney at the top is not like losing money but like you have to like i imagine that even if it's like a handshake agreement they still have to so they cook the books when they do it they cook the book everyone knows that Disney and Marvel cook the book been cooking also It's it's it would be fortnight epic games getting its pussy juice on

Disney's mouth. What do you think chug jug is the 69ing? I don't they're 69ing bro. It's blue company of we 69 with off-brand We yeah, we're except 69 is like we're fucking like like I don't know. What the yard and mogul moves. The yard and mogul moves. We have 69. The mogul moves is like a

we're not 69ing. We're like a human centipede. Yard is like a watermelon and mogul moves just fucking it. Like a hot watermelon. No you're right. That's a horny.

You're being horny. That's better. Not being horny. I'm more on the same page with you. You guys are fucking assholes because you create this narrative that I'm horny and I'm never horny. That's better. Not being horny. I'm more on the same page. You guys are fucking assholes because you create this narrative that I'm horny

and I'm never horny. In four different sentences, you said pussy juice and then fuck a watermelon and 69. Did we mischaracterize you for fun? Because I'm trying to do a bit and you guys aren't fucking

latching onto my breast. Sometimes your bits are very horny. That's horny too. Okay. No, that's a better analogy. Thank you. Mogul Moves is the mother and the yard is getting sweet. Mogul Moves is a big beautiful breast. We've started weaning off the formula.

Now we're six and it's weird that we're still breastfeeding. Yo, I was on breastfeeding TikTok for a while too. I was on Latina breastfeeding. Is that why we have the birth diagram in the living room no that's cutie firm girls do you think we're suckling your sweet milk what you i'm not gonna talk to you for we did three minutes we suckle this for you or you're you're like a you're like a you're kazooie in the backpack just podcast says i've tasted it i know it's like

was it was just a woman More like best feeding TikTok This is your guy More like Squeak to that I fucking hate Stans Best feeding is what I'm saying You don't hate Stans Why do you hate Stans

I don't want to fucking talk to you You want to talk about milk again I want to get us to mini golf I'm doing that You're cutting me off I don't want to fucking talk to you. Shut up. You want to talk about milk again? I want to break back. I want to get us to mini golf. I want to get us to mini golf. I'm doing that. He just did that. You're cutting me off to intro. Let him do it.

Let him do it. I want to know why Eden come. Why would you cut me off to intro a thing I'm introing? Because you're going to talk about stands. Oh my God. You're going to talk about stands and no one gives a shit. Have we ever told what you feel? This is the first time.

Aiden's coming out three times and I will fight you after this podcast. Wait. No, you won't. You won't touch him. He's sweet as can be. I actually. He's sweet as can be i actually can be i dude i'm scared of bears he's this is how aiden fights wrangle you like a fucking cattle i love getting him all heated and hot

hold on wait a minute sweet as can be Have we ever talked about when we went with him? Yeah. We talked in Australia. I got shit for it. So many times. People were really mad at that. That's awesome. It was funny.

Don't drink my coffee. Fucking idiot. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. That's a really good coffee. I can't believe this guy. Hey, Simmer. Hey.

No, don't say I. Hey, touch what you want. He's a kid. He's a kiddo. I don't think we should treat kids any different. They're just dumber adults and we should treat them like that. Oh. He's as sweet as can be.

And we should put him to work. I agree with that too. He says he's looking at his phone. Finally, he's spitting bars. Okay, before we get into mini golf, really quick. To intro how Aiden has been off the fucking chain lately uh zipper can you pull up the picture i sent you and i hope you've edited it uh aiden messaged me and he didn't message anyone i thought he would send this to everybody but he was like camping this weekend right yeah kind of

yeah so he's camping this weekend and he sends me this picture uh having a great trip it's beautiful out here and he's and so imagine the photo doesn't actually have the emoji yeah zipper put a 3d emoji of a guy uh you know covering his face under this towel is aiden's fucking soft raw dick and it looks huge by the way it's like the best picture your wiener i've ever seen and he just sent me this And this also means he had his girlfriend Take this picture Which is also funny Did you ask her to take it? Zipper can you pull the other picture I sent you?

Give us the context Okay so we're out camping We're like on this like property In the desert And there's a tent and like an outdoor cooking area. And there's also an outdoor shower just in the middle of the desert. And, uh,

I went to go take a shower on that in the outdoor shower. And there's actually, there's like, I was thought about posting some pictures from it too, but there's like, I, I, I got it.

So the pole on the shower is like perfectly censoring me. Like while I'm like naked in the middle of the desert but it was really serene really nice and I just put a towel on after I'm done showering and I go to sit down on one of those chairs and where me and zipper3 are talking to each other we're both sitting in one of those chairs across from each other

I'm just sitting with my towel on like this and we're talking for like maybe like 5-10 minutes I'm not thinking anything of the interaction and all of a sudden she takes a few pictures of me and I was like wondering why but it kind of made sense because

I gave myself a mustache because I just yeah you look like you look weird yeah I know you look like Gus Dapperton in the desert at the forbidden shower You look weird. Yeah, I know. You look like Gus Dapperton. I know. In the desert. At the forbidden shower.

I'll take that. Gus Dapperton. Anyway. And she's, like, been talking about my mustache a lot. So I thought she was just taking pictures because of that. Because she's been doing that. It was actually because your fucking big old nasty hog was out. Yeah. And she takes the pictures.

Sniffing around the ground. And she's like, Aiden, do you know that, like, i can just see your balls right now like do you know do you even know that they're out and i'm like what are you talking about she's like look look at what you're doing and i'm like oh you're right and then i'm like oh my god you know it would be so funny because i look at the photo on the phone i'm like this is exactly how Anthony used to send me like pics of his balls where like it would like secretly be in the photo almost it was like an iSpy book and uh and I'm like she I'm looking down at the phone like silent and then all of a sudden I break the silence with like I need to send this to Anthony and she's like why why would you do that

and I'm like no you don't understand Bo's in the house I'm the she's like, why? Why would you do that? And I'm like, no, you don't understand. Bo's in the house. I'm the friend. That's why you caught... Your shit looked like it fucking has a snout like a pit bull. Yeah, it's uncircumcised. No, but it looked like it's my little anteater. Your dick in that picture looks like you could feed it. It does look like

you chopped off an anteater nose. There was a lot of ants in the desert, and I was... And you're going around vacuuming them up. Your shit looks like you could feed it steakums. If I put a raisin in there, it would disappear. Looks like I could suck in some water into it and then blow it back in my mouth. Your shit looked like it could eat a baby.

Oh, man. This is fuckboy Aiden. Oh, dude, I love this picture. And it says Eamon Gaiman In the background Yeah It was unprompted too I was just at my desk

And he started doing Fuckboy shit He just walked up He's doing that He's like Ow what's up What's up Dude

Oh my god You are just Actually this guy Yeah he is He's just a fuckboy Cause you can't He's a fuckboy He interrupts

He has no nuance anymore He doesn't even like Uber drivers I'm trying to get us to mini golf right now I'm not talking about mini golf I'm done I'm more mad now than I was at mini golf Wow

See how it feels You're my stans I'm stans now So tell me why you were mad at me at mini golf stans Come on, try to tell him Stans is a tell me why you were mad at me At mini golf stans Come on H-Rack tell him Stans is a piece of shit Weapon Weapon

Uh Daniel is you know how he's like Sometimes goes into rule stickler mode Yeah does he it's like weird I don't know He gets weirdly aggressive About minute things I'm the same way are we the same yes kind of similar You are somewhat similar to him. Like he's very aloof

half the time and then he'd be like, no, like he'll get like something's bothering him. Like if I get too loud at a restaurant, that peeves him. He's like me?

He's like, you gotta stop. You gotta stop or I'm gonna leave. He's got hard lines. Some are reasonable and some are fucking insane like at mini golf.

And so he did this rule at mini golf where one, the person who has the lowest score goes first in the next hole. So it changes every single hole. Which is a little weird. That is how normal golf works, isn't it? Yeah, but what we do in mini golf normally

is like a set order and then first nine, then you switch for the back nine. It's not a big deal. It's not a big deal. No. Then his other rule is person in the back always has to hit. Alright? And then third rule is you can never hit unless you're the furthest back. So it's kind of an addendum. And then there are no markers allowed.

So you can't like put something in lieu of a ball. Oh, that's dumb. In mini golf? Yes. Bad rule. That's a mini golf specific rule. No, this is a stance specific rule. Why does he?

Because he didn't want a slime situation. He didn't want to. No, no, no. What he's trying to do is make it so people knock each other's ball on more. He's trying to maximize knocking balls because he says, well, makes the game more fun. Like he's trying to do is make it so people knock each other's ball on more. He's trying to maximize knocking balls because he says, well, it makes the game more fun. He's knock maxing. Yes. And so already I'm a bit tilted.

And then I enter a hole where I'm like two feet away from the hole. There's a ball in between me and the hole. Oh, really? Directly there. I can only putt. And they could just sink it in if they wanted. And I look at stands like a fucking child. I can i can like they hit it in he goes no you gotta hit it so i just do it begrudgingly it hits the ball it diverts he laughs at me and then he

goes ah yeah they probably could have hit it in that's fucked up next hole there's a point where my ball is directly next to another ball and i can only hit my ball with the very tip like i can't use the full club. I go, hey, can I place a marker to move that? He's like, no markers. And I was like, okay, can I just hit the ball? He's like, no, if you hit that ball, you stroke out. I'm like, you're making this up.

I feel like a little brother with an older brother who's making up golf rules. Why did he, why did you let this happen? Why'd you let him run wild? Because he was the rule dictator. And then anytime I would bitch bitch they would call me out for bitching and whining and they'd say you're sliming it up so you set a fucking bad precedent where i would be a slime if i complained too much i like that i should have showed up take a heat off you i genuinely would have had a much better night if i ubered home see yes i'm i'm slime pilled let's

fucking go i was basing right the whole time maybe the chuckle fucks do make it hard to have fun all i did was harsh the vibe and then i just played one-handed for the rest of the day got like a hundred you played one-handed for like a meme just because it didn't matter i was i was so far out there was no way to get back in it i didn't know you got so tilted that's so cute i don't even know they that's the worst part i don't even know who won because they never counted it up so how what happened is we ended up so i trolled i'm so mad i didn't like plan to go mini-golfing with everyone and then it turned into like 20 people and i was like well that's too many people and then i fell asleep so i never went but what we

who so everyone had a breakup in a group so who's in your group it was just the chuckle fucks the wives and me oh because we the atriox showed up late and I showed up a bit late. And then they had the large group. Yeah, we broke into groups of five because there was 15 total. Oh, wait, there were three groups? Yeah. Three groups of five. Oh, okay.

Interesting. Everyone was silently playing to be the best of the day. We were at the best score of the day. And we played the same course but in different groups. Any bread? No. No money. All the people who would have bet bread were in separate groups.

Yeah. Yeah. I wanted to do 1,000 a hole hole and so at the end yeah at the end of the at the end of like the the course uh so dawson is having maybe the worst game of mini golf you could possibly have as a human being on earth i've seen dawson raw like that he's ultra tilted because he just keeps overhitting and yeah we're making fun of it me and mike are on the same team so we're just like we're like oh big dawson you know you gotta wait till the meter's halfway up because he just keeps overhitting. We're making fun of him. Me and Mike are on the same team. We're just like, oh, big Doss. You gotta wait until the meter's halfway up. There's this little

cutscene in Mario Golf where you watch Waluigi hit back and forth across the hole like ten times, and that was Dawson on every hole. Was it the divot holes? It was all of them.

Oh, tough. It was just rough. I hole. Oh, no. Was it the divot holes? It was all of them. Oh, tough. Yeah, it was just rough. Yeah, I won't go into it. He doesn't eat meat, so, you know, his eyesight ain't too good. And at the end of the hole, Dawson is like,

he's just extra riled up and you know how he gets. So he's just like fucking with me, right? And I'm having like the game of my life. I am smoking everyone. And I'm like,

oh, wait, you think I want no looker this one? Think I want no looker it? And so I go up and I go for want no looker this one Think I want no looker it And so I go up and I go for a no looker It's like the easiest shot of all time Like if I look at the ball it's just gonna go in It's like maybe a foot away

I no looker and I miss And so that puts me in a position where I have two extra strokes And I'm like ah whatever I'm still fucking smoking everyone At the end of the game I lost by two strokes to Aiden No way You did the mech falcon punch So I went for the swag I lost and it cost me everything I respect the swag though lost by two strokes to Aiden. No way. For the no looker. You did the mech Falcon punch. Yeah.

So I went for the swag loss and it cost me everything. Damn. I respect the swag though. Yeah. You got a swag. I was sad.

I thought because he he was I heard him like saying from like his team like that he's having a terrible game. I was. But that latter half

of his game he got like multiple back nine. His back nine was insane. That might have been one of the greatest back nine on that

course. It's ever to go to back. You got to do something by back nine. That might have been one of the greatest back nines on that course it's ever seen. To go to back nine. You gotta do something by the way. What? When you set up group activities you have to plan dinner.

No, that's too much work. You just delegate it out. No, you can't because he didn't do that's fine too but he didn't do that. You know what? The day before

I realized dinner wasn't planned so I tried to do it and I just couldn't find a place with vegan options that was nearby. And I didn't realize that people would be willing to travel as

far as we did I do not think it is necessary to plan dinner after a group activity that ends at like 9 30 or 10 p.m. I well we had a conversation that you said dinner would be good so I assumed dinner comes up naturally but that's like that's that's me

assuming you want to take on that role of playing a dinner. At least he planned something. Because I planned the mini golf, right? I planned this like multi-hour activity. I said like, let's play mini golf

with a big group. Let's maybe like play laser tag after. Like that's how this was initiated to everybody. And then we got our big group. And then you asked Day of, like,

should, like, do you have a dinner plan? I'm like, no, but it could be good if you want to do that. What if we did a big mini golf tournament

and only other podcasts could enter? And we deemed the biggest podcast of all. And it's like group play. That'd be hype. I would love to play against Pot About List

because I think they're funny. We can get them, we can get Choppo. I would love to fuck up Michael Barbaro. Oh, I would, no,

it'd be a parking lot situation. I DM'd Michael. Yeah. Aiden's goal is to get lot situation. I DM'd Michael. Yeah. Aiden's goal is to get Michael Barbaro on the podcast. Hey, everyone. I'll just say harass, but don't do that. He is owning the project of getting Michael right here where Mango sat.

Hashtag Michael Barbaro for the yard. Look, Michael, if you don't respond to me within the next couple of days, I'm going to Sabrina. And Sabrina's next. Sabrina Tabernacy, the other host of the Daily. Oh, that's great. if you don't respond to me within the next couple days i'm going to sabrina and sabrina and sabrina's next sabrina tabernacy the other host of the daily oh that's great i mean she probably uh doesn't talk back the point like a child yeah she does but i think a little better she's she's probably great you know what's funny is michael barrow does the things and all the other hosts because like there's a few guest spots Do that too

Because I think it's part of the daily Listening experience That's how intellectuals listen They ponder They're mimicking his It's kind of like how newscasters have an accent They're using It's a code switch

Interesting You know I just was thinking about something my favorite joke that all of you guys have ever done and i thought about aiden's because we we played um monopoly once online and it was with the chuckle fucks and it was you and me i was in it and we had yeah it was it was like it was on your stream okay and uh i was busy or something i don't know if you were there. No, I wasn't.

I think Mango was on it. Right. No, it was all the boys. Yeah, but we did like this. Yeah, just all of us. It was like a hundred bucks all in or something. And we were talking about doing deals the whole time. We had this bit where like businessmen and like doing deals with each other.

And Aiden was something that said to them like, yeah, you know, we could talk about it. We could like hit the back nine after work. Like if I'm not busy. Because A-T something that said to him like, yeah, you know, we can talk about it. We can hit the back nine after work if I'm not busy. Because A-Triac was trying to get something from him. And I thought that was really funny. We kept this going during mini-golf because A-Triac called me when we were trying to figure out to leave for dinner

at the end of it. A-Triac calls me. I pick up and I just talked to Ludwig on the phone before and I was like, yo Big A, just talked to Ogren from Morgan. He said we're going to dinner in 15. Oh, my God. The greatest part was Aiden couldn't make dinner because some personal shit. And then Atrioc, unbeknownst to him, I told the table because I was on the very side of it.

Because it's a big, long table. So I told the middle table, I was like, Aiden can't make it these reasons. They're like, great, great, Okay. I assume it gets passed on I'm not yelling across the table. It doesn't a truck calls Aiden and he goes how's it going? You fucker you bit you bitch out after the back nine there. Where are you at? Where you at? And he goes for like five minutes I wrote the car was super three and I'm like, yeah And I'm in the car with zipper 3 and I'm like, yeah, haha, just couldn't make it.

Like, it's just, oh my God. He's like, really had to flake on me? Yo, piece of shit. It was like an extremely good reason to like spend time. It was like, it was like you, you hear the reason you're like, do not come. But A-Truck's like, really fucked me on this one. Oh my God. And everyone let him do it. And I love that.

We just let him do it. We didn't tell him until yesterday. Oh God. I would have seen his face. He got to sleep that night. And I love that. We just let him do it. We didn't tell him until yesterday. Oh God. I want to sleep. I'd love to see his face. Oh, my, my favorite joke of yours is when,

um, you, so it's actually when we got swatted, uh, one of the times and you had left, you turned off your monitors and you left your camera going recording. And so when the cops came through the house, it was, you still had your

christmas tree up and you're like guys everyone come check this out and we were watching the cops go through your stream room from your stream perspective and they're like walking around they're kind of like one's fat they're fucking just like meandering around like assholes they think they're so sick one of them has a gun uh strapped like behind his back and as he walks out it like knocks down a lower ornament from the tree and it like falls and it breaks on the ground and then this happens and they close the door

and it's actually very poetic and you just look at all of us up and say hey Kev it was so perfectly timed oh my god we could actually tell the other story from the first time was that with the emote. So they went... Oh my god! Do you remember this?

Yes, I do. So they are searching the house after pulling us out. We're in the back of the cars and when they pull us into the cars and we're waiting, there's like this long period where after they get us out of the house, they have to search the entire house.

This is when I realized, by the way, that Ludwig is a content genius. Because he left the recording. Ludwig turns the stream off when we know the swatting is happening and we're going to get pulled outside. But Ludwig didn't leave the recording off. It is still recording on OBS

and it is on the screen. And chat is still up because people are like wondering like why he went offline and as the cops search the stream room they're looking at his computer screen seeing OBS open seeing the chat open and seeing these

emotes fly by now as you guys may recall there was a modified fat Ludwig emote where he had a mustache and he has like big old cheeks and he looks a little older. I love that picture dude. And it's just a really really funny photo. You pulled the emote zipper? He looks like a

Ludwig fat from his old Twitch channel. He looks like a fucking fire chief. I do look like a retired chief coming out of a pizza restaurant. You look like you're 60 and you're working hard. It's this face. It looks so funny You look a little crusty

Why did it flash so quickly Can we bring it back up He's pulling an FRFR Imagine this emote Is flying through the chat And the police Come back And are asking

Did you leave the stream on was it still live we saw we saw a chat using police emotes in the chat to like make fun of us yeah and then we're like confused at first like what do you mean ludwig doesn't have a police emote and then it clicks like they were seeing ludwig fat go by and just assumed it was a police emote making fun of them yeah this is true this is true because one of one of them did understand the concept of a chat and so they were able to decipher that these were people sending these messages and he was like why are there like did you know this was going to happen they're're putting cop pictures. And it's like, no, that's just a fat guy. You fucking joke.

Oh my god. I could not believe that. That was pretty good. It was insane. What do you have Hunter Biden on here for? Are you just thinking if he wants to talk about it or not? What happened? It's funny because earlier on, before we started, he's like, do you guys want to talk about

Hunter Biden? And Ludwig is like, I don't care. I'm mad at you. We'll save Hunter Biden for the primo. Oh, really? Coward. You got Intel? Coward.

You got T? Yeah. You know how everybody's like, oh, who has the laptop? Well, wait for the primo. You'll find out. His dick is so big. Hunter Biden's? You've seen it, right?

It's fucking mad. I haven't seen it. Can I see it? It's like an elephant trunk. Can you show me Hunter Biden's dick You've seen it right? It's fucking mad I haven't seen it It's like an elephant trunk Can you show me Hunter Biden's dick zipper? It's like a tusk Wait this is a thing? Yeah

Is it a leak? What happened? Yeah Yeah it's a leak I'll tie it into another thing It's on the board It's on leaked meat duck We'll save it for premium

Pull it up Pull it up Wait where are we at? Are you Mr. Timekeeper Bear? We got like 10 Oh yeah like 10 Let me see Hunter's Let me see Hunter's cock. Let me see Hunter's sweet meat, Zipper.

Zipper. I want to see the meat. He's pulling it up. Safe search off. Safe search off. Don't be nervous. And anyway, by the way, to end it up, when you do a group activity, everyone expects food because people are just larger kids and kids want to eat.

I want orange slices and if they're not there, I'm crying. And so I feel an obligation to have it planned. It's not like I want to go to dinner. I think you like planning dinner. You're the kind of guy. I don't like it. There's just an expectation that it happens and no one takes up the mantle. Oh, sorry.

I planned a different two and a half to three hour activity for us all. I just couldn't find vegan places. It's expected that there is a dinner after. It's just late. It's late. It's already dinner after. It's just late. It's late. It's already a thing. It's just expected. He's right in that everyone's going to want to eat.

And you saying, go fuck yourself, I don't care, essentially, can be seen as maybe you just be like, yeah, maybe should have thrown some suggestions out. And it's specifically important because it's such a large group where it's very difficult to plan last second unless you're goaded like me. Unless you want to go to dinner. So where'd you guys go? Originally at a steakhouse.

I was like, I got to set up Pog. And then I didn't realize there's two vegans amongst us. They can get the veggies. Boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo. I was called. There was only like appetizers

and sides that were vegan. There's nothing. Yeah, they can do it. I was alerted that it was a problem. And so then I was like, you guys got it. I'm out. I did what I could. And then they're like, we couldn't get it done.

And so then I fucking had to come in. We went to Mexican spot. It's pretty nice. Do you know what you do is you just order Dawson like vegan food. Like you door dash it to the restaurant. That's not a terrible play, but it's definitely terrible play at a steakhouse. It's fine because. I don't think a lot of people would let you do that.

They won't let you, but if you're spending fucking racks on a table, let me fucking do what I want. Pussies. Yeah, that doesn't change... That doesn't change... I do think that the money... Schlatt wouldn't have done that because he's not vegan. Schlatt's got Moxie.

Yeah, that's true. You know what I'm saying? I'll give you that. He's got what it takes. You don't know what Moxie means. Oh, what's going on? Moxie's a soda brand that became... Oh, I know Moxie. Yeah, that's true. You know what I'm saying? I'll give you that. He's got what it takes. You don't know what Moxie means. Oh, what's going on? Moxie's a soda brand that became... Oh, I know Moxie. No, we had it in the house. But that's not what

he means. It's like gumption. Yeah. What is that with gumption? It's like a swagger. It's like, oh, you got gumption. I see. Kind of like charisma. No. A bit more masculine driven. It's having the dog in you. That's all. Okay, okay i see that's it we just did we get this cock up oh my god wow i did want to tell you just made a lot of zip noises really

angrily i did want to tell you guys uh the short version of the trip that i had last week because it ended up i tried to pull i tried to pull a ludwig for an appointment that i had and it was difficult and I almost failed and I'm more impressed that you managed to do it so frequently. I don't know what this I don't know what Ludwig means. I had an important appointment. I was doing my interview

for my Nexus card which is like global entry except it has some extra stuff on it and it's like for US Canada stuff. And you have to interview for it on... All the offices to interview for it are on border states. So I had to go to Washington to do my interview for it. And the closest airport to the office

is the Vancouver airport in Canada. So I didn't want to go for like more than a couple days and I was also like busy the day before. So I'm like'm like okay my appointment is a 145 i will fly up in the morning to vancouver and then fly back that same day i'll literally make it a day trip this is what ludwig would do there's like no time to be wasted and i get on the earliest flight to vancouver it lands at like 11 30 i'm off the plane at 11 30 and the customs line in vancouver is like the longest i have ever seen it. And in the past five times I've been there,

I get through in maybe 15 minutes or less. But this time, it takes me 30 minutes through the initial line and then I forget that I bought a banana at LAX that I didn't eat. And it's fruit going into another country and you have to declare it. So they put me into another line

that takes another 30 minutes. Banana line. And then on my way out, they put me into another country and you have to declare it. So they put me into another line that takes another 30 minutes. Banana line. And then on my way out, they put me into another line that takes another 15 minutes. Like you would live. You go to that one if you look like a banana.

I'm delaying all this time to get to my appointment and now it's starting to cut it close because I still have to drive an hour over the border to get to the office where I'm going.

And in my head, it's like, well, Ludwig does this all the time. Like it always somehow works out. It'll work out for me. But when you're meeting with like border patrol, it's the same thing as like police. I think even with border patrol, it's like even more uptight in like how stringent they are with like policies, how they question you,

like following deadlines. And I'm really worried because if I'm late to something like this, it usually means it's a problem. And they usually have no sympathy. And I'm trying to call and seeing if I can get my appointment delayed, like figure something out. And I finally get to the border with my rental car, which is a minivan because it's all they had,

even though I pre-booked a car. So I'm alone in this giant, in this like family minivan in the line waiting to get across the border. It said it would be like 20 minutes. Takes me over an hour to cross the land border to get to the appointment. By the time I get there, I'm like hours late. The irony is every stage of this process is something that would have been expedited if I had the card that I'm interviewing. Like everything would have taken zero minutes, like no time. And I'm lucky, like every time you interact

with Border Patrol, you're like rolling the dice to get somebody who has an ounce of empathy in their body to like just treat you like a human being. Luckily,

I get a nice guy doing check-in because all the way I'm doing interviews into Canada, into the US, now I don't. Wow.

Interesting. Not that nice, I guess. So I guess he wasn't that nice because you didn't ask him what his name was. Wasn't banana shaped. Didn't care. Also, why don't. Wow. Interesting. Not that nice, I guess. So I guess he wasn't that nice because you didn't ask him what his name was. It was banana-shaped. Didn't care. Also, why didn't you

just eat your banana? Hmm? Just eat your banana. Then you don't have to make a banana line. Once you have it in your, I don't, I'm worried about eating

it in the customs line. You should just eat it really fast and then be like, vroom. Yeah, just have to do it all. And then all the

guards give you a standing ovation and then they say, welcome, Canadian. They just point at him that that's the throat go. Why can't you just have your dad fly you across the border without checking in at all? Oh, I couldn't.

Because normally my parents would pick me up at the airport, but they were both busier that day and couldn't get me. So that's why I rented a car. They were in my place. And I'm already cutting it all close. This was sort of unnecessary if I had planned far enough in advance, much like a lot of Ludwig plans.

But I... You always pull it off, and that's what I had in my head. No, he doesn't. If Ludwig can pull it off, I'll pull it off. There's a way. And maybe some of your luck has come to me. All of this trip is for a 10-minute interview that's about very basic questions like who I am and shit.

But the whole, the, the whole process is like this fucking interview with border guard after border guard, after border guard, I interacted with border patrol like five different times that day because I'm crossing back and forth between countries because of the, where my flights were on the flight home.

I'm walking through the airport. All the restaurants in the terminal are closed. I'm really hungry. I got there late and, uh, I'm walking through the airport all the restaurants in the terminal are closed i'm really hungry i got there late and uh i'm walking by and i'm just like trying to find a place where i can get like a snack bag and i watched this guy walk right past me like what why do i recognize that and then i like do a double take i'm like dude that's that's paul lieber state that's the guy who plays Toby in the office in Vancouver Airport. And he was on my flight back to LA. Wait, was it Toby again?

True or false? He's the HR. Did you know his name was Paul Lieberstein or did you Google Toby from the office? And that's why I didn't talk to him or take a picture with him because I was like, I do not deserve to take a photo with you

or use up your time because I'm a fake fan. Yeah. And all I know about you is your one role in one show and I don't want to interrupt you when I didn't even know your fucking name. I'm not going to come up to you and do that.

Was he normal? Or was he walking around with a condom on his shoe? No, he was in... Like trailing behind toilet paper. Oh, I thought you meant over it. Like you're touring a house. Yeah. He doesn't want to get them dirty.

Mask on. Headphones in. That was it. Mask on Headphones in That was it Mask on? How'd you know it was him? Very Like just very identifiably You could tell

Does he have Does he rock that haircut normally? Mmhmm Wow It was the same haircut Don't say wow Wow No

It's Dude me and The decision Me and Slime are watching DCOM For the Patreon show this week And Don't And he

Don't fuck with me like this man We're watching High School Musical 2 Tired of you bro someone comes up wait what's high school music dude and someone comes on screen and he pops off like that's the guy holy shit and i'm like what guy what guy's dude dude this is the fucking guy holy shit and he goes through with this whole fucking rigmarole to pull up this guy from what was it from it's like a family youtuber who like a family youtuber who like makes his kids fucking sing and dance and make song like that but not the shaytards they're so like dude look it's him and i look at him like no it's not that guy looks nothing like the guy i'm looking at him

like yeah he doesn't i just remember who's the who was it it was just some fuck it was just some disney channel guy you know what he was a dad in a different disney channel movie if it had been him was it warranted to be that excited? It would be crazy. But it was just so... I was just excited. I just said... He is just... That's the thing he is worst at in life.

No. He is so bad at... No, all those people look like... I think you have prostate amnesia. Pass them G. I don't have prostate amnesia. We should get you checked. Go home one more time.

I can see your face and recognize your face. You are making up my face in your mind. No, you look handsome. Yeah, I have pimples. He says, you're wrong. Well, they're better now. They were gross. What'd you do?

His pimples? They were like pustules. It was like a fucked up Dark Souls item. You have prosopagnosia and you're bald. I know I win when he fucking says that. You have prosopagnosia plus you're bald. Plus what? He's like a...

It's like the big red... I've already said it, but the big red spot that hurts the final boss. Yeah. It's like the zit. You poke it and he goes, you're bald. And one life goes away. It's my yelling after getting hurt. If you touched Ludwig's pimples from the other day, you just beat Resident Evil.

day you just beat Resident Evil we wrap this one up do we have hunter Biden's cock ready zipper come on oh that looks like a mast for a laptop hold on is this what was supposed to sway The election this is an unfavored File I'm gonna keep it a stack His grippers are what I was looking at they look great Yeah cause you're fucking grippers Is that what they were worried about all along They were like if the swing voters see this

Dick yeah His meat's too powerful Well alright Yardigans thanks for watching the yard podcast yet again hey we have a patreon go join there if you want or not an hour long episode we're talking about hunter biden and what it means for finland's prime minister's chances at a re-election i would risk it all for her yeah bye see you on the episode