The Yard - Ep. 62 - Ludwig’s New Lover

Episode Date: September 14, 2022

This week, the boys talk about slime live streaming again, the passing of the queen and how Ludwig met and has fallen in love with a new friend.

Sonic, get your grippers out of here. I'm gonna come. How's that? Is that alright? Is that from the movie? Which movie is that from? It's from Sonic Movie 2.5. Sonic gets turned out.

Still blunted. Sonic Movie 4. Sonic Movie 4. Out on... Can you guys fucking join the podcast? I can't do the Sonic thing forever. You're what? A friend of mine who's disconnected from Smash

in a group chat started to talk about how they're on a bit of not very involved in Smash on the Leffen, if you will, the Leffen Mago wave. I'm typing out why they are a fucking idiot.

This is like the micro version of like, hey, you shouldn't be watching Major Tate, man. I'm telling my friend from mario kart we why they are tuned into oann right now i do think it's also valid to not like leff and he's very easy to not like yeah you just have to that's fine if you don't like him for like oh i don't like him because he's mean it's like i think about the idea of being like yeah i think leffin's a naz a Nazi and comparable to Hitler

and it's like what's wrong with not liking Leffen I just don't like I can't just not like people I think it's valid to not like Leffen for like what he does in the dark triad yeah I mean when he's whipping it up in the evil triad frankly I was

I was against when Leffen trafficked those children I was against when Leffen trafficked those children. I was not in support of that. I think that's fair. We didn't see both sides. Why didn't we get both sides of the Leffen trafficking story? Anyway, let's dive in on the Zero comeback.

Welcome back to the yard, everybody. Okay, A couple things Episode 69 Like the sex number Don't say the sex number When I know damn well you're doing 66 Only I love 66

Yeah it's a good number He doesn't know what the 9 is for Is it like a tall person And a short person But I can't see their eyes listen here for one subscribe to this fucking podcast i wanted to say it in the beginning oh we never say i don't want subscribers arshy can you put 11 subscribe overlays on this yeah you have to do a good subscribe ad read then well they don't matter they're all the same do an ad an AdReed. Ten seconds. What's up, guys? I just want to let you know

the Yard podcast, we love doing this. We love all the things that happen. If you want to sub to the channel and support us, we will appreciate it. You spent so much time saying not subscribe.

What's up, boys? You didn't even get around to that. I was caught off guard. You let me run it again and I fucking... I feel it. Subscribe. But don't smash the bell. Don't click the bell because that's an active protest listen you just just subscribe i only care about

the number and not the notification so we used to be really uh like but like we we used to try really hard to do the sort of the meta things right there was some there's stuff like you read five star reviews you do stuff like that there's a lot of things you can do as a podcast that kind of like you're, you're supposed to do to help it grow. And we kind of stopped doing that cause we realized we're just goaded without it. But I did want to bring up one thing and that is a five star review that someone brought up and it's only relevant because where'd it go? What'd you say?

What'd you fucking say to me? I said, you're bringing, I was about to just bring one up to read one for the sake of doing it. But then you have one ready to go. We're just doing the whole episode as promotional tools. The rest of the episode, we should just be like, alright, so we got MeUndies, we got 5 Star Reviews, subscribe to the channel. Join the Patreon, honestly, while you're here. Dude, my friend in college, it was a friend from high school, but when we were in college, he started a business. And it was a website that you go to and it only has ads on it and then you put in your email to

sign up for all the advertisements you'd be like well why the fuck do you do that because when you do it you enter a raffle and then half the money that they make from the advertisers goes to charity and then the other half goes to someone who wins the raffle like after they collect their costs of running the business and i I was like, this is genius. And then they got shut down because they're literally just running a lottery, which is illegal. Yeah, be careful. Don't do giveaways that you have

to pay into. Streamers do that all the time. I know. It's actually so broken. One day someone's gonna fucking crack down on like E-Rob. So, irrelevant to this, if you join the yard patreon we're doing a giveaway no no one person's life will be changed you're big enough for this to be a problem anyway welcome to the last episode

of the yard slime this one really touched me. So this is just from a viewer. It's just kind of a compliment to you. When I saw you on top of that hill, I knew you were the one. Looking out into the distance, I captured one of many sunset pictures. I turned my head and there you were, doing the same thing as me. I knew I had to speak to you. We spoke about many things.

I told you about my family. You told me about your podcast and your best friend who was bald. He seems nice. It was one of the best conversations I ever had. You took me into the bushes and we made sweet, sweet love. It was mind-blowing. How do you do that with your fingers?

I went home and I listened to your podcast. I even became a Patreon because after that everything everything I knew, after that evening, I knew I had to support you with every fiber of my being. However, deep down in my heart, I knew that this couldn't continue. I have my wife and my daughter, and if they found out about us, it would ruin them. It hurts me to say this. I can no longer see you. This is me ending it while knowing that no object or vegetable in my house could recreate

the intensity that you had inflicted upon me in that bush underneath the sunset. Inflicted upon me. I'm sorry and I wish you the best in everything you and your friends do. You guys are extremely funny and vibe really well. Love, your friend, Dunlau. When was that posted? Let me see Oh it doesn't say

It doesn't say And also I met him in the past week So Unless he wrote that right after It sounds like he did We talked and I missed our dinner Is that what you call it? So you guys didn't break things off?

No my god I'm not fucking Tung Law He's a beautiful man He's a beautiful soul Am a lot of friends For liking missionary because he can't do it with I'm not letting you get away from that one I'm just saying I'm not gonna trade soon law for that forever We're not gonna do that shit, but you can't do missionary with soon law the goaded position I know cuz he's just he's just a nice old man

All right, I'm friends with old I'm friends with you. It's not weird for me to be friends You don't treat me the way you treat him. Oh my god. You don't take me to flavor time Okay for for everyone's reference. I met a beautiful I met this really cool guy From Taiwan He's like a 50 year old dude who lives here And his family lives in Back in Asia And

They live in Korea but they live in Taiwan Anyway and we hang out Every time I go watch the sunset, I will run into him. And it's happened like four times. And one time we were supposed to get dinner and I didn't show up for an hour because I was talking to him. That literally just happened with Nick like a week ago. We were supposed to get dinner. Same dinner place.

He messaged me. He's like, are you coming? I got a call. I didn't answer because I was talking to Tung Law. And I like we only happen to run into each other in these random circumstances. And so I never want to like break off. Cause I could not, cause it's sexual,

but because I don't have a way to contact him outside of running into him. Yeah. Because you need time to break him off. No, it's like, it's like, it's like two ships passing each other. That dude breaking his dick off in my butt.

It's like two ships fucking each other in the night. It's so rare to just walk around the world and find a human that you don't have contact in before. It's like when you feel like you found the one, you have to take advantage of that. He's actually, he's actually so. Like he's the Suez Canal, dude. He'd be such a goated. Clogging him up. He'd be such a great podcast member if you guys weren't on the podcast.

Wait, what does that mean? Because you guys are inappropriate. What do that mean cuz you guys are inappropriate? What do you mean you guys are terrible? Oh, so we're inappropriate? Yeah, you literally about me bending or terrible. You don't think me and him would bond. I've been to Taiwan Yeah, it literally he is the goat at talking up kids. Oh fuck in And everyone when you talk about international travels, it sucks. And I hate your dad. Oh my god, I was in the airport

going on a trip. And I met someone who was interesting. We had a conversation. This was like the time that I went to Tibet. And it was like, that's just like really cool. I just like put my AirPods in and walked around the mountains. And I joined the resistance for the weekend.

We beat up a few Chinese police officers. It was, and I said, I said free Tibet while I did it. What's crazy about it is that they went to my high school. I didn't even know. Dude, we were. Back to you. I love your father. I love your father.

We theorized it the other day. Nick, Nick figured out why you and Sun Law love each other so much. It's because he is someone that you, that like is so unique. Like everyone you meet is going to be like,

like know about you from a perspective that you already can anticipate. But this is like a fresh guy. Like he can see you as like the real human that you are without all the,

the YouTube and the this and that. It's not actually that at all. Oh, what is it then? He's just closer to Japan than I am. Just physically. Yeah, from Taiwan. It's not close.

They're so far apart. Wait, is it closer? It's much closer. Much closer. It is much closer, but it's not close. Well, I just pull up pictures of anime and be like, have you seen this one? You're just racist to a guy it's like a four hour flight uh he's actually it's yeah i think it's because he's like uh just totally out of the space and has such a unique perspective on life he's also super radicalized he's saying we're talking we talked for like an hour the last time

prefers ripped condoms and uh and condoms. He was telling me about how he's talking about corrupt politicians in healthcare. He's like, yeah, number one issue, global warming. Number two, corruption. I'm like, wow. He's just like me, actually.

No, he's nothing like you because he's very intelligent. Global warming is my... Does he have hair? Is it beautiful? Yeah, luscious. Global warming is you it's actually pretty do you pull it does he go i'm never gonna invite him on the podcast because you guys softer softer softer you could do like a susan episode with him where it's just you and him up here in tsungla i would love that and then no patreon episode that would go so dumb, bro You know, it's a sick is he lives in a place. He's more you than you are no AC

What do you mean what is it a place? No, I say you like it war sleeps on the floor. No He doesn't sleep. He's raw. You would know that he's that he's right yeah why do you know how he sleeps bro we talk about life and you talk about your bed so uh you got like a better life yeah we actually can't go back to my place because i don't have a bed that's what i used to do when i lived in the closet i had to i had to fuck people in my car it was anyway it was it was a rough life you live in grand theft auto that's we don't have to do that at all that's sad shout out to the Trader Joe's parking lot. I want you to know, this is beautiful. That is sad.

How is it sad? I was so charming that we fucked in my car. It's not because you're charming. What the fuck is it then? He is charming. It's just because your dick game is so good. Let a young street gentleman hit it in my shitty car. Yeah, let a young street soldier attempt missionary in the car.

He hit it in your car. She's like, was it good for you You're kind of like a 90 degree angle. It's like It was alright. I've attempted sex in the car once and failed you had you fail I just couldn't she died. I couldn't get hard windows had to be down over It was like hot and I was very as it was the car. Yeah, no, this is real shit I was very uncomfortable heated and you get limp and it's all over. My first girlfriend in my life, she drove a VW Bug. And that was the first time I ever got a baloney.

A baloney job. It was uncomfortable doing that in the Bug. It is just not built for something like that. Volkswagen, well, the Jetta. The Jetta is a better model. I've got to be honest, all my car experience is solid. No, the Jetta.

You know what I'm talking about. Volkswagen Jetta? Got a lot more room in the back. That's true. Mine's pretty roomy in the back. What's up, Aiden? How are you doing? I have two really big pimples on my head that hurt Oh my god

They just hurt They don't yeah you look like I can't they're not protruding enough You're wrong you can do anything Have you thought about that? It looks way better than Ludwig's Those were pulsating You cleaned them out

You could have uploaded a zip popping TikTok I hate zip popping videos yeah you could have made one like you know how you

made your tutorial on how to do your hair you could have made your zip popping tutorial you know I have a tutorial on Reddit that I wrote

8 years ago about how to shave your pubes yeah we've brought this up you've brought this up

on this podcast yeah I bring it up a lot what's the step are you proud of it yeah cause it was top on r forward slash sex of the day really yeah i was karma farming he was always about the numbers bro yeah that's true always armed i think i theory craft i never released but i theory craft like what i would do to get the top of like r am i the asshole yeah our boss ken used to do that all the time shouts out ken

chen uh you piece of shit but he would instead of instead of working in the office what he would do would mean it was me amin dakota and ken in the office and instead of like doing like work that was annoying like project management and stuff he would instead close the door and stand up and then he'd be like you guys want to read the fake post that I'm working on for Am I the Asshole? I hate that. First on Reddit. I love that. And he would just theorycraft like, wait.

And he sent us one. And it was like, yeah, this one isn't going to fly. He's like, I posted it. It did not go well. I don't even want to say it because I don't want to expose him. But he couldn't make it happen. The thing is, I feel like most Reddit posts, maybe I'm jaded, are all fake, but they are like they can be cultural monuments like the CBAT one that today I fucked up of

like the guy having sex to the CBAT song. That was like a that was culture. Yeah, it was a moment. It was a moment. Probably fake. Probably. I feel like this is just the resurgence of fml yes yeah it's all the same yeah me irl i think it's like probably a 3 000 year old thing too back in the day they

probably like you go on a sailing journey for six months you come back you make shit up bro so i'm carrying water on top of my head down the river mermaid comes up titties out fucking double d's they would talk about this they would talk about fucking because they had nothing to do all day on the bus she calls me up this is literally just how Mormonism got started yeah Joseph Smith was like bro I saw scrolls you can't look at them but

I saw them you gotta trust me bro for real like no kizzy let's queue later but I met this guy named God it's crazy he gave me his underwear they're magic and let's let you know there's eight layers of hell you'll never believe it it's God Abraham He gave me these underwear. They're magic. And let's let you know, there's eight layers of hell. You'll never believe it. It's God, Abraham Lincoln. We're smoking a blunt.

Also, when you, you can just put it in without moving. Okay. And this is, this is essential. Someone can jump on the bed and then that'll, that'll make everything kosher. So, so do I just found out, but it's not about this thing called pickling. Hear me out. Wait, dude, is that that what it is it's just pickling your wiener yeah just pickling your yeah for 48 hours oh yeah some guy just like pickled a cucumber and then it's you just like saw it and was like yeah that's

so by the way that's soaking, guys. If you aren't up on the soaking meta, shouts out to all the BYU students that listened to us that got really mad when we talked about it. They're like, we don't do this. We're not all like this. It's probably way less frequent than the meme of it. Well, no, no, no, no.

Yes, you are all like that. Okay, all right. That's just how it is. Yeah. You are all the same. And also, Utah's better. Hey, B, why are you soaking so much what do i say oh we are that's what i say on a roll yep today i'm wearing socks and sandals why and that's just what i'd be doing why are you tripping so he's having too much

shut the fuck up god god damn it. He's overheating Did I'm playing League of Legends recently I know do we we came off a sheet yesterday He comes home grinding got me like midnight grinding you unlocked ranked. I know I am 29 fuck you have ranked yet, dude It is a long time I can't believe that it takes that long. With boosts, like you can buy XP boosts, it takes about 90 games to 100 games. That's a lot. And each game is like what, like 45 minutes?

Every game is 20 to 45. Okay, yeah. It's a lot. I remember it took me so long to hit level 30 when I was playing League as a kid. Why didn't you just buy an account? Because I want to get better. And normals in League

are different than unrated in Valorant where it's like people actually try and like they're decent. Yeah. And in unrated in Valorant you just run it to like the fucking children. Yeah you only need like what like 5 unrated games? 10 I think when you get a fresh account. I've been getting fucking bullied so hard. Tell me about it man. I've heard you've had some hard days. Slimes back to streaming everybody.

I was like you know what? I could stream some fucking Valorant. Dude I had to remember how to defuse getting bullied the other day. It was on stream. I heard you got diced up by some high schoolers. It was multiple times. I basically I was it was on Breeze. I was trying to retake and it's like 1v4.

I start running in. The Cypher has ult right? And then I'm like and I go and I get shot and they're like bro you should have moved faster. And I was like it doesn't matter cypher had all anyway he could have just ulted me like i didn't have no shot and then all of these guys who don't know each other just start saying yeah dude cypher had all yeah bro yeah dude yeah and they kept bringing it up every time i would speak they're like okay we gotta rush site cypher might have all, bro. And I was like, and this is happening live. And I'm like, why am I getting bullied?

This isn't fair. This is like the fucking second round. And I had to remember what to do in this situation as a 32-year-old man. I gotta watch this, Vaughn. This is any psychic game, guys. I was literally like, I wish Nick was here. Like, he would know what to do.

And it came back to me. I was like, okay, no, no, lean into it. This will be it. And then I'd be like, bro. I am white. I am a fucking bum. That was so great. No no lean into it. This will be and then I'd be like I am white I am a fucking ball And basically I was like okay, yeah, but yo cyphers on cyphers got all we got a rush it like when the round starts I like don't do it and it But they didn't do that

They respected that I did that And they were a little bit Nicer to me Cause they're agents of chaos bro These teenagers are fucked up I was saying I need a 30 year old And a higher Q

If I queue up Adult Q I need adult Q I can't do this shit The AARP of Valorant Qs Please Please Everyone's gotta connect

Mikey with a kid Crying in the background Yeah you have to upload Pictures of like your life And then at round. Everyone's got to connect Mikey with a kid crying in the background. Yeah, you have to upload pictures of your life. And then at round seven everyone gets a break to go feed their child. Put the laundry in and shit.

That's tight. Oh my god, it's so fucked up. Is this happening? Because I saw you come out the gate. You won a lot when you got started again.

You were just dub after dub. I'm nuts. Did you transition into a new phase where you're losing now and you're getting bullied? I think when I definitely when I get bullied, it's harder to win.

I get more distracted. It's kind of like melee. I need to zone in. I'm cold three with a 2RR buffer right now. You're one from plat. But I got 98 points to go. Either way. Are you still on your I'm only allowed to solo for the rest of my life thing?

Yes. Until what rank? Yes! Yes! I don't know. So you might just do it forever. Until Radiant. You'll just never stack?

You can just play with us. Oh, on stream. I play with you guys sometimes, but I think it's funner to tune in and you're like, whoa, how is it going to go today, boys? Someone was singing, again, someone just kept singing all of like bo burnham songs on the mic literally the whole game wait like which one's crazy from the inside oh no you you guys don't get it dude it was fucked up i wouldn't mind uh no i am so into the meme it's like when i'm. Like, my homies when I'm last alive and it's like they're all doing day and night.

That shit kills me. Oh, this is one of the- this is- this game went into double or triple OT. He's singing inside right now. He's singing some song from the movie. I haven't seen it. And he's been singing. No, just listen. Just like- Stoppable watcher. The time is now. Your insides out.

Honey. Dude, it did not stop. They sang wet ass pussy. They sang material girl. A group of people singing? No, it was just this one person. And then at the end of it, I thought they were duo'd. This guy was like telling us to shut up when we would tell the guy to like maybe stop

singing so much and then i thought they were duo'd and then he's like sky add me add me we'll party together party after this i'm like there's two insane people that just happened to come together and like this is fucking on that guy's podcast right now he's like yeah this dude's like so phenomenal they're definitely i love inside they're definitely in a discord fucking with you maybe i don't know it was fucked up i i I think about it right now and I'm freaking out. It was so. You had a viral clip. The only thing you can do.

I did have a viral clip. The only thing you can do if you would have asked, if you would have called a friend in that moment, you would ask, what do I do? Literally, the only thing you can do is top frag. Yeah, I have to top frag. I also could have just muted. That's the normal thing to do. But there's like a, there's an element of like, let's see how weird this really is.

You do enter, you type KYS and then you mute all bottom yeah i played with a jet recently who uh and this is like a pretty like high elo lobby like when the game was over it was like like some immortal some ascendance and uh and i'm playing with a jet who doesn't calm but they have a mic and every time you say anything they go into the mic And they go And they never said words they only went like the other side from spongebob yes, yes, but they wouldn't do what you're saying It wasn't like Charles do that. It was like yeah, I'm on the other side of the map I'm lurking and I'm not coming with team and I'm like I'm rolling

It's actually if that person does that but they top frag and they dash on site it's my favorite player bro i'm he's saying i'm going and we're just talking yeah and we got a thing yeah we got a thing going but instead he's just trolling me and i'm just like all right i'm on a solo mission i'm playing campaign now i'm not playing multiplayer game i'm just dude one of the one of the guys that were bullying me in the breeze game again no one knew each other it was crazy they all came together and fucking fucked with me but it was like what i i at the beginning of the game starts and i like asked chamber for the bomb and uh he just looks at me he's like uh i have a boyfriend and i thought that was really funny and i'm like this is good everyone's funny now and then they just diced me either way yes i got on i was on

lsf from playing valorant because someone asked me the drama about Shit Camp which you went to and I just started freaking out because I can't handle Twitch chat and then Dix wait no it wasn't Dixerto what was it Dot Esports wrote an article it was probably both they're both shitty news publications

that just pull LSF clips it was insane an article about a Twitch clip about something else. Me and Aiden did some investigative work because we saw that and I'm like,

it's the thing he's talking about. Like, they're so stupid. And so I was like, it has to be intentional. The person writing it has to know. So we looked into it.

We're like, who wrote it? And we went to their Twitter. So we went to their Twitter and we're like, okay, well don't leak who it is on the thing.

But we found it and they're really young And they're like in the male community kind of So I was like they know And they're doing this for the job All they do, they do this every fucking day If you go to Dick Serto's, they just go to LSF They look at the top clip, they read an article about it Because then they'll get some clicks and they'll get some Twitter interactions It's not journalism

It's tabloid media It's like the widest kid sketch. Hard journalism. Where it's like that band that pops off and they name themselves like the company that owns our band is gay. And it's like they're at the press release party. And it's like, so we want to say first that the name of the band is not indicative of real life. And they're like, say our names. Yeah, no, there's actually been like that.

We gotta get Dexter to write an article that you go you go on stream and you say anyone who writes an article about this moment is totally gay yeah right that could be a coordinated campaign there's a band called uh anal and they had wow hey could you look at up zipper they they had so many songs like some like punk band and they would be like like they would basically like dogs are gay literally this is the title of their their theirs or like the supermarket is gay like this is how annie monaukis got famous yeah discography scroll down uh just go just to be fair gography is not someone's like sexual achievement 110 This is a band. 110 song CD is one of their albums. But

they had like a shitload of songs. But I always remembered that they did one about themselves and they just they called it stupid. And I was like, well, you guys aren't gay? Are you afraid to say that? Are you not about it?

They're not about it. So if any listeners out there. This whole section needs to be cut out. Oh yeah, I forgot. Anyway, how is Hmm, you're not about it. They're about it though if any listeners To be cut out but oh Yeah, I forgot anyway. How is shit camp shit to poop? It was great poop It was fun It was it started with a bit of drama Because XQC didn't go and then double down not going by tweeting out that it you didn't want to go could seem boring cuz soda Wasn't going do I hate streamers, bro that that pissed me off so much. Why would you say that?

I think it was like a dumb cop-out thing to say to gain like the best amount of favor for flaking Right because flaking will inherently get people to give you shit Yeah But like it's the it's the thing that like people can then be understand be like yeah it might be boring he was flake maxing he was flake maxing he's min maxing his flake for the the least repercussion in the most the most no no that's not true because he would have just made up a tragedy that no one could prove yeah that's what he should have done yeah that's flake maxing sorry i can't but i think he's literally done that like

because i think one of us are like why don't he say he had covet but i think he has literally used that as an excuse like three weeks ago when he was supposed to like go somewhere he also is gonna go live yeah he's like i have a strategy it's not like it comes i was like boys what's up big death in the family this is how i cope excuse me how many dogs can you possibly own, they can't keep dying. You have a whole litter. Yeah. Guys, another puppy died? I can't go. I can't chat.

I can't. But the rest of the camp was fun, because it was just like, it was just camp. I've never really done camp, but we played in lakes with a giant blob like they do in heavyweights with Ben Stiller. Yep. Which was fucking fun. Do they have rules about it? I wanted to see like eight people jump on it and have someone disappear. Dude, Maya just fucking blasts off like Team Rocket. Show the clip of Maya. Oh, right. Which is fucking fun. Do they have rules about it? I wanted to see like eight people jump on it have someone to appear

Fucking blast off like team rock Who jumped on it it was a guy named soil who's a six foot eight man holy shit We like 300 to 400 pounds like 300 ish pounds I don't know the exact weight but like big guy like he sat next to the mountain like thor oh shit and made him look small and so this is like a huge dude we had him jump and mayo's on the bot and she fucking and they both got hurt yeah i saw he had like a nose thingy right yeah because he jumped down and like he like he did we were doing in a relay so we're also rushing it's worst thing we could have possibly done and he jumped down He had glasses on and he goes face first smashes glasses cuts right here I'm wondering how he cut his face the glasses jump in with glasses. We're gonna rush

We weren't thinking also if you're like flying through the air I think you're not really trying to you don't have time to figure things out. Zoya on the right, Maya on the left. Oh, my God. Can you try to pause it when Maya's flying? Maya turned back the moment that she took off, and she folded like a blanket. Back a little more, just a little bit before that. And she has severely bruised ribs.

Because when she turned... You can press a period and comma to go frame by frame. You got a comma to go back. Zipper didn't know that. Keck. LMAO. I heard him say some shit. Wait, where is it? Calm us up.

Calm us up. This looks like we're watching Ridiculousness. Yeah. Yeah. Stilo. Dude, look at him on the right. Yeah, she's right here. Right here.

Look at her neck. Oh, no no Absolutely just folds Cause you're supposed to Tuck it and like tense up Oh cause of the The whiplash Right Yeah yeah yeah

Cause it's such an insane Amount of force Yeah look at her Look at her It's like she's trying To suck herself off Like Marilyn Manson The midair self suck

That'd be so tight She did it too That was her trick Yeah She also goes so fast Straight up Instead of like Into the water

Yeah She was at the perfect placement Yeah I do like the idea Of doing dangerous things, but also fast. Yeah. And that's cool. Yeah. So it was tight. I want, cause I would tune in every now and then to shit camp, but I do think it being

on different channels made it really hard to follow, which obviously I understand why you need to do that, but I would be like, well, I don't want to fucking, I don't want to get my happy ass all the way to this stream. The format's a bit, uh, tough because because of that it's also like hard to split it But there's a website and there's also like a die hard Group of people who like bouncing from every stream There's like a group of 20k people who just go To every stream no matter where it is

Just to tune in to see what's happening That was the cool thing about the event how you can like jump from stream To stream and there's like pretty much always 40k On whoever's channel is highlighted at the time It's just fun to hang out there's one thing that Blew my mind and I still Like i just can't wrap my head around it rich campbell dating me in it it's real they are really dating and i knew that but then i saw it see it and i'm like this is so crazy it is crazy because rich campbell's like an esports commentator we used to be now

he's a shill yes but like he like his roots for like a decade is commentating like like dota events and wow events in in whatever overwatch esports whatever it is and now he's dating me in malkova yeah uh it is weird also she had said something about a bit of a classic sexual position that I was told. Oh, her favorite sex position. Yeah, so I asked her her favorite sex position. What is it? And everyone had to guess what Mia's was.

And they said, like, oh, the Alabama roller coaster. And she's like, mm-mm. Hers is missionary. You know what? Like, you spend your career driving a lot of really cool exotic cars nice to just own a camry she also look i think when two people love each other i also think she's dumb as bricks because she rated in terms of that because she rated her sex skill out of 10 a 9 and i was like if you're a 9 what dude she's because you know what she has her mango

You know I'm gonna improve yeah, like she's yeah like cuz rich Campbell rated himself a 10 Champion also rated rich a nine Okay, the only world at nine hurts is if you've just said I'm a ten and then your girlfriend goes you're nine It's like i'm a nine holy shit but if you say you're 10 it's like well what do you mean what are you subtracting i wonder who for for mia malkova who the mango of sex is for her right who does she look up to who's the poster on her wall it's like i don't know sasha gray i don't know still Sasha Gray? I don't know. It's still Mario. It's still LeBron James. It's still Yoshi, Mario, and Luigi.

But yeah, it was tight. That's cool, man. Alright, man. I would tune in and I'd be like, there's too much shit going on. It's like I'm socializing. I can't do this. I mean, you're not a stream watcher. Also, it's reality TV, and Zoomers don't know that. Zoomers don't know that streams are just reality TV now, and they think they're above it, but they're not. They watch I Love New York. Unscript's reality TV, and Zoomers don't know that. Zoomers don't know that streams are just reality TV now,

and they think they're above it, but they're not. They watch I Love New York. Unscripted reality TV? No, it's conscripted to an extent. Yeah. You're planning fun moments. You're organizing things. It's not as produced, but for sure.

I think the main difference between streaming and whatever is that the things that happen on stream do impact the relationships with people. Whereas I don't think the things that happen in a reality TV show have any bearing. They're pretty much actors. Well, Jersey Shore. There's also career reality TV people. Have you seen that?

I watched The Real World for a couple years and there was this girl Robin who had she was great. She was on like every fucking season of like Road Rules, Challenge, like all this shit. And it was really funny because it's like

that's just your gig now. When's next season coming up? I imagine it's harder than ever to get out of that. Yeah, because like what are you going to do? I don't watch a lot of reality TV shows, but from what I see, it's usually a bunch of people that like no one knows. I think a lot of them pivot to cameo yeah i mean cameo is new but i'm talking about back in the day some snacks going yeah cameo is just like uh it's like a candle and like

eventually it will melt and you know that yeah and you're just watching it and when you first like whoa i made 500 bucks today. Pretty cool. Pretty cool. Some people have big candles, too. Yeah. But it will die. I'm glad I got Gilbert while he was on there, while he was with us. God bless his soul.

That's such a great clip, bro. You remember that? Yeah. What is that? Gilbert Godfried, the voice of Iago. Yeah. I know the guy. Of all the things. Of all the things.

That is the most iconic for someone in his age group it's just funny that you had to say that to Aiden to contextualize it and that is funny to me he I had him do a cameo

and he said Jeffrey Epstein I heard what you did and that's not very poggers it's great it was just way back in the day too how much you pay for that's not very poggers. It's great. It was just way back in the day too. How much did you pay for that? I think like 300 maybe? 150? That's such good value.

It wasn't too bad. Was that before Epstein got his fucking neck broken? I think so, yeah. Fucking. I think, I think. Fork him. Fork him devils. Fork him devils. One crazy thing at shit camp is The queen died and I was next to Hasan

And he literally popped a fortnight victory dance Can we talk about this I want to talk about it I guess both I meant the queen He's our queen in a way We got our queen Yas and we have the regular queen Rest in peace

Is it weird that everyone's like pop it off and making jokes and it's like a celebration It was like the funniest day on Twitter. I find it weird. I think I think it's the memes are funny I think like there's a phrase for this that will neff taught me and I think that's where the term Ghoulish comes from and there's another word from the word ghoul no there's another word that's like basically profiting off of the death of people which used to be a much more frequent thing back in the day but it's like

it can be considered ghoulish behavior is how he had phrased it to me which he could be wrong and dumb but that made sense to me that it's like it that's that aspect is weird but I think it's also fine to clown and meme I think I think I agree I think like when something bad happens

if you make a really funny joke about it and everyone laughs at the good thing but I think that it just felt weird that it felt more about like so many things that people said weren't funny and so many I feel like it was more about the sport of yeah like hey I in but i'm just

gonna i'm just gonna not give a shit about anything because i don't fucking care about anything and i'm just gonna make jokes and memes because fuck this and stupid i don't care i think the dislike is really tangible i think she's like part of an institution in a family that have done a lot of like nefarious things as like as as an institution no i don't think to like a lot of people i don't think most especially americans are considering that at all i think it's just like this is my time to have a tweet i think on twitter at least like on the side of twitter that i get i think they absolutely are i think that is that you think that's the majority i disagree because i think that a lot of people

just know that it's okay to clown on her because it's like it's correct i guess that and so they're like oh let's get it it's hard to discern as like the reader perhaps what it's like is this person prof like profiting socially from this situation because they just want to profit socially or because they actually had a genuine dislike of like the queen and like what she stood for i would i would venture to say confidently that like 80 or more of people in in America who have tweeted about this after it happened didn't know what she did or what the establishment was like beforehand. I think they just knew that it was fine to clown on her because she's clownable. I think they just know there's a queen there. They're probably just not that hip to the politics of it.

Yeah, they just want a tweet to pop off. Yeah, they knew it was fine to clown. They wanted to get in on the action and they have no like social or under like they have no bearing on what they actually feel or care about and they just wanted to be included. So they're all HBOP. Look, here's the reality. The bar for the funnies should have just been a bit higher. It was

just a bit low. It was a bit low. That's what happens when population gets involved. It's a dumb way to look at it, but the way I so honestly look at it is like if you make a joke and it's funny, you're a winner and good job. If you don't make a joke, I think what you at it is like, if you make a joke and it's funny, you're a winner and good job. And if you don't make a joke, I think what you're doing is fucking stupid.

Yeah. Okay. That seems dumb. We're the same. We are the same. I think more people have an understanding of them being shitty to some degree because of the social prevalence of the Megan, is her name Megan Merkel? Yeah. I don't't know that was extremely mainstream news and she basically like quietly revealed albeit if you

were like in tune with anything you would know that like the monarchy wasn't a great institution before this but i think the mainstream american understanding of them being shitty comes from megan markle like revealing how like racist the family was i don't know how to say i just asked you to correct there and you didn't like the first time do you hold on so are you saying that you genuinely do believe that a majority of people are in that camp of understanding it's extremely well known i mean it's like a very i think that's bad i think it's easy enough to be a human and know that monarchies are bad in addition it's fun and easy again to just like look up at authority and being like i think it's just natural i think there's a massive pot of like part of like popular culture uh that is extremely large that we do not tend to access like kind of like the kardashian part of popular culture

that a very large amount of people way bigger than our audience know about and that's what this audience is it's like when she did that like interview with oprah and talked about how the family is like really racist and didn't want her to get married to her husband and shit like that it's like that was massive mainstream news that a lot of people have an understanding of i think the same exact thing would happen if like the Pope died. I guess you could argue that the establishment there is the same. Yeah, but similarly, I think everybody knows like. But you think that the core of that.

The institution fucked them kids. But you think the core of that is the institution? Like really? You think a majority of people making tweets like that come from the understanding of the institution? I think the majority of the people making tweets would justify it that way. They wouldn't admit to themselves they're seeking the clout, but they know that the institution did that bad

thing, and they get to justify it that way. No, but that has nothing to do with their actual intentions, which is what we're talking about. Because their intentions are why it's shitty, not how they would... Like, if someone went around and fucking killed people, and they're like, well, they could just say the gun laws allowed them to have the guns i'm not talking about why they did it i think with the queen stuff i think with the queen stuff a lot of people have a

personal investment or personal relationship with these figures that they like like megan and that is probably a genuine dislike of the queen and probably fuels like a lot of these tweets that you're talking about i bet it's more 50 50 than you think it is is what i'm saying what you will about the queen and the monarchy but i think their millennia-long imperialism was bad dude when i see a tweet from fucking hey put her there a bot twitter account called hood comedy and it's just like it's like the queen roamed a mcdonald's in hell it's like dude that has nothing to do with you and that's like a lot of it but i i what i'm thinking of is like i saw a tweet with like it And that's like a lot of it. But what I'm thinking of is like, I saw a tweet with like,

it's like some like fucking anime communist, like profile picture that made a tweet about like how the, the queen, like it's like the queen, surely we can't clown on the queen for like blank, blank and her son being a pedophile or whatever. And it, but it's like sarcastic and that has 500,000 likes.

It's like that person is probably very aware. I think you are so personally biased towards more highly political or things that involve world understanding on your twitter yeah i think you don't look at twitter as like this outlet because you're not funny so you don't like but like basically i i think i look at twitter as like this is an outlet for which to make uh each other laugh like it's like the gladiatorial arena and when you look at it through that lens it doesn't matter if you understand why the queen was bad you're just trying to get in on the action and like yeah that's my perspective and i like that's how i i'm seeing the world but you see it from like this enlightened like travel

plane guy no no no no no hold on am i wrong i could be wrong my my i think there's a difference like i'm just saying the the spread in the pie chart of of hourly shit post meme made by 16 year old who doesn't actually care and thinks it's funny to get in his like jabs right now is like a big part of it for sure but there's this giant part of like this giant invested part of the population even in america that like sides with like roy like the royal wedding is like a big deal over here right people have really strong personal investments and opinions about this thing and that's why i think that a lot of these people genuinely feel this way and it's not just like clout chasing they're like fighting the battle for like megan

for these people that they like because like the queen was racist and shit like that and yes I think that's true but those people don't know how to make jokes don't you think that's where a lot of the mid jokes come from no and that's what those people I maybe not I just can't see I would have been diagram of someone who cares a lot about the royal

family and also is funny there is no intersection I would I would just I would put like so much money on if you like if we somehow compiled like all right give me the top 50 funniest or biggest pop queen tweets that came out in that time and it's like all the one it's like the mixture of like yeah yeah the politically sort of involved or like the literal fucking good comedy going to mcdonald's version all those together and we interviewed all the people who made the tweets and we asked them what do you understand about the institution

I guarantee most of them are just like I think they made it do you think we probably get a different spread this is what I'm talking about he's just farming zipper yeah absolutely so much of it I would say a majority of it this is most people they're just they're like

what can I tweet to farm point crow wait holy shit the queen died and it was posted like three days after she died one day after like a different spread of of stuff but what i was thinking of of in my head is the majority of the shit like maybe 50 of the shit that i saw clowning on the queen died had something to do or like was a meme about diana hating her for example which is yeah that's true coming from and like yeah and then i was hanging out i was hanging out with zipper zipper three the next day and her roommates are are just you know they're all for better or worse they're not hard normies right

and they but they're all seeing those same types of posts and like get them and think they're funny and things like that. And I just think that's the circle of the world and humor that we kind of forget exists. We're pretty insulated. For instance, who linked this? Maybe someone in the Yard Discord where it was like, it was the Andrew Tate bump when he was getting a lot of publicity.

And then it was the Amber Heard Johnny Depp trial. And it dwarfs it. It's like looking at Jupiter and then it was the amber her johnny depp trial and it dwarfs it it's like looking at jupiter and then the earth like it is so much more than we think of of normie town and like probably people in their 30s and 40s and shit watching tv yeah like disgusting animals i think the breakdown with that is like the people who were like invested in the trial and these people individually and then the people who were like latched onto the fact that a man finally won one of these trials.

And they're actually like, but I also cheat on my wife. Yeah. I will cheat on my wife and, and Cosby did nothing wrong. Like it's, it's like those, and then those people join in and they're like chasing the fact that there's

popularity in this trend. I think I've distilled why I don't like it. I think that when, when someone who like, I have like some level of like respect for whether it be like comedically or as like a person it makes like a really funny joke in this light i feel like it comes from a place of understanding where they like they know how the world works they know what they're doing and they know how they're using what

they're doing but i think when this like some kid does it they don't have any understanding and they are purely like capitalizing on something that is like you know at its core like you know like just someone dying to like farm impressions online and that leaves a bad taste in my mouth when you don't know what you're using and like you you don't have the sort of world experience to back that that feels like low effort and shitty and stupid. And I think that's why, maybe it's not that I care more that it's funny. Maybe it's that I just think it's funny more often when the first type of person does it. Because they are funnier. But I don't know. For me, if a 16-year-old makes a fucking banger fucking queen die joke, I'm just like, well done.

If it's funny enough, nothing matters, right? Because if I laugh hard enough at what they said, it's like, well, i don't know i can't have a problem with this we're the same man it just felt weird it felt a little weird yeah i i can see that i i don't like uh i don't like it with that context i just don't really believe that most people know what they're making is it brit are you hurt hurt that's it my british my british ancestry that's your mother i i actually i was surprised by like i i think also she's fucking 96 dude it's like yeah that was part of why i like felt a little better because it's like full life whatever yeah it's like once you passed once you pass 90 it's like yeah you had it coming

like you had you were asking for it you were the queen had it coming. You were asking for it. You were begging. The queen had it coming. I love the idea of an assassin that only kills people over 90 years old. Yeah. And he feels weird like Batman, but he feels justified about it. He's like, I'm justice. Yeah. They're just killing old people for the sport.

You've passed your prime. That'd be hype. That'd be sad and terrible. That'd be kind of hype. They're the most defenseless. Yeah, but you know, like fucking put them up. I feel, bro, it's like you look at old people's, I look at old people like you look at babies sometimes when they're really old.

Yeah, we try, society treats our old people like shit, which is really funny. It's like you're only valuable for as long as you can like literally do work and we discard you. It's kind of beautiful in a way. What's crazy though is they still vote like motherfuckers. They do vote, unfortunately. Dude, if you have Alzheimer's, you can still go vote. Shouldn't that be illegal?

No, I think you should be able to vote twice. I don't like that one. You should be able to vote as many times as you forget you have to. Every time you forget, you should get another vote. You show up and you're like, no, my name's... Because it's pretty genuinely a new person deciding. Every election is just decided by this small pool of people with Alzheimer's. Swing voters are just the unfortunately afflicted.

For the 12th term in a row, JFK has won the election. He couldn't be here to do his speech, but... I love the idea. And you have, like, the movie, like, The Ringer, and it's a guy pretending to have Alzheimer's

to go to college. And he's, like, convincing the other people with actual Alzheimer's. We keep the electoral college, but all members have to have Alzheimer's. Yeah.

50 first votes with Adam Sandler. That's just literally chaos. I love the idea of people lobbying and, like, campaigning as well.

Like, really, like, constantly to make sure that, you know, I was, I know I was here yesterday, but I'm here again. You might not remember me. We're going to, we're going to do this.

Like you're, you're placating to the Alzheimer's people every single day because they will forget. This would change the world. Have you heard of, uh, Paulinism? It's Nick Paulum. I don't want to date that many people.

He's a streamer and he has a form of government that he created. It's where if you do something bad, you go in the grinder. It's the death penalty. You did bring this up before. Have I? It's anytime you do something

bad. What constitutes bad? Like you do murder Or crime Nick Paulum thinks is bad What happens when some people Think that the guy did something bad But some people don't think that it was bad

What happens then? What happens if you like Paulum decides and then throws the bad people in the grinder Everyone who's deciding goes in the grinder Because then you're no longer thinking about it. I think the person who operates the grinder can only operate it for one year then they have to go in the grinder. What's the grinder? Describe it.

It's like a literal giant grinder and choose your bones. To make me go. And then it feeds the rest of the people. It feeds the people in the back of Snowpiercer to eat. Okay. Yeah, it's like Sterling Green. Yeah. Alright.

That's a great idea. We should... We, as a people, should vote on a grinder, and then we vote on Grindr, the app. I actually think this is a genius idea. Every single world leader has to die after their term. Yeah, like a praying mantis? Yes.

That way, they only can focus on making the world good and not re-election. It would just be puppet. No, they're going to die. Isn't that worse? They have no focus On making the world good And not re-election It would just be puppet No they're gonna die Isn't that worse They have no investment In the world being good Yeah

Cause you would know That going in You're accomplishing The opposite It's even worse Would only be the people No those are We would just get people

Who wanna die As world leaders And then they would Make decisions To have a good Four years for themselves No cause then they would Nuke everything

Oh yeah I didn't think about that. Don't you get that? They would just burn the world and be like, I'm dead anyway, bitches. Later, pussies. Also, you could just install puppet death presidents. Yeah, you guys.

Kojima, please get on this. This sounds actually very hype. You think a lot more cynically than I do. I just played Metal Gear, that's all. Yeah, that's fair. I need to play those. This is where everything you say starts. Yeah, it's Metal Gear or Dark Souls. It's played Metal Gear. That's all. That's fair. I need to play those. This is where everything you say starts.

Yeah, it's Metal Gear and Dark Souls. It's politics and philosophy. We were watching Teaching Your Children the Course. We were watching a Disney Channel movie

to be specific. Twitches. It was just like Dark Souls. Oh, I love Twitches. And he kept saying, dude, this is literally Dark Souls. And every time a scene

would come up, he'd be like, this is the fucking bridge to whatever. Is this not the It's Like Dark Souls meme? No, this was a lot like that. He was being the meme. Yeah, it

was just true. And he's like, dude, no, that's the bridge to Terabithia. And I'm like, dude, this is just an old movie, an old fantasy land. And it's with Tia Tamara and the evil is the darkness and it just looms over. The dark sign? I'm just saying. It was like, it was crazy.

Also, what a shit film. It's one of the worst things I've ever watched. You should re-watch it. Twitches is wonderful. Everyone says this. Everyone was like, oh no, Twitches,

don't fuck with me. That's my shit. Your nostalgia betrays you. I always thought it was so funny that the villain was just darkness. What did we watch? What did we watch with the two sisters?

We watched Tiger Cruise. No, not the 9-11 movie Well, that's two sisters in a way Double teamed? Is it that one? No, it was newer These two sisters and one of them turns invisible I can't remember

Was this movie worse than that movie? It was the invisible sister I'm not kidding That's how forgettable it was It was dog shit Was it worse than Twitch's? Because that movie I think is actually How could we forget? That's how forgettable it was. I didn't see this one. That was you guys. It was dog shit. I was mad. Was it worse than Twitch's? Because that movie, I think, is actually the worst movie I've ever watched.

Holy shit. It was really bad, yeah. Yeah, and for context, me and... So, Invisible Sister was bad because structurally, as a film, they just didn't think about it. Yeah. Like, there were scenes where it's like... So, the girl in the movie is meant to be invisible. They just didn't think about it. Yeah, like there were scenes where it's like like she's met so the girl in the movies meant to be invisible and and there's scenes where it's just like you're like

Why why is she changing her clothes so often? Why is she like all these things that didn't make any sense like if you were invisible you would just never she's invisible when it's Convenient yeah, and then the rules around her invisibility consistently change There's problems that it's like oh you know what's all this problem right now if one of us was invisible and they're and the invisible girl's like what do i do i have a problem if only i can be invisible if only i can call myself from sight and she's like constantly like concerned about like being discovered as invisible there's a scene where she's like trying to hide from people and it's like you know that you can't nobody nobody sees you

in this movie so her sister's like a it's weird backwards she's like the goth punk chick but she's also like a straight A student genius and the teacher's like hey you have straight A's in my class but that's not enough I'm not gonna pass you because you have to do a final project only you no other students and I'm like why why would you

he's like he's like dogging his best student for like not being good enough no that's what and so she goes okay i'm gonna do some test tube stuff whoops i made invisibility whoops and i poured it on my sister now she's invisible and that's the whole plot and then and instead of telling her fucking teacher like hey i made invisibility past me she's like we have to hide this from everyone and they don't explain at the end of the movie they go to the teacher hey i made invisibility whoops and they win yeah she graduates it's tight i mean you should win like a nobel prize for that that's what i'm saying they should be like holy shit we discovered something really important we should tell people two of the most important invisibility scenes in film and television one the x files there's an evil witch that grants you

your wishes one guy wishes to be invisible and then he turns invisible and then he sees some women across the street and he starts like getting real horny about it and he starts going across the street but then he gets hit by a car and dies because he's invisible okay number two Hollow Man with Kevin

Bacon I saw this in the movie theater when I was like 11 they show his wiener okay and that is the end of my list of i was like 11 they show his wiener okay and that is the end of my list of wait where is he invisible in his wiener wait basically so you can see his wiener but the characters in the movie can't see it in in hollow man with kevin bacon it's scientists developing invisibility and they inject him with the invisibility power and he's like writhing around while his skin starts to go invisible and you can see his muscles and stuff and he's like writhing around while his skin starts to go invisible. And you can see his muscles and stuff. And he's on the table and his wieners are all flopping around.

But it's like the muscle without the skin. Oh, I see. It's very interesting. I was like 11. And I was like, this is crazy. I'm starting to think that you just... Oh, and he like... Yeah, this is it. That looks terrible.

It's an old movie. Oh, and also, again, this happens a lot in visibility movies that woman with the red hair i believe he like he's he like feels her up and he pulls out her boobie while he's invisible while she's sleeping it's you missed it but it's in there i promise every guy writer in hollywood the second invisibility is on the table it's like so what do we do to the women yeah dead ass it happens in this movie and that's why it's rated R because there's titties you know what we didn't Harry Potter

kept it honest you think so I mean bro Harry Potter was not always on definitely not reminds me that there's this old college humor sketch where it the premise is every 80s 80s movie like with prank scenes in it is just sexual assault yeah

and they're like talking about recreating like why don't we do this from revenge of the nerds and they're just like oh that's like oh that's a crime and they just cycle through watching even

watching shit from like the early 2000s me and Mike were talking about this they're like yeah like waiting dude waiting is a crazy movie I haven't seen it but you guys were going off about

like what is it waiting with Dane Cook it and Annie Milonakis? It's Annie Milonakis, Dane Cook, Justin Long, Ryan Reynolds. You never saw this? No. Dude, it's a crazy cast. Sounds like a great lineup. They all work at a shitty restaurant, like rubbing their nuts on the food and being dicks

and spitting in sandwiches and shit. Annie Milonakis in the movie is like a white rapper. Dude, it's... Self-fulfilling. Like, he is in real life. The movie's horrible. No, they're just like...

No, not like real life. He has, like, cornrows. Like, it's just... Like, he's like a riffraff figure, kind of. Yeah. The movie's terrible. But thinking about it now, it's just like, holy shit. Does Dane Cook have a super hot romantic interest in the movie?

Yes. He sneezed! He sneezed. He sneezed. Come on, man. And he was an atheist. I do love Dane Cook bits. You were just drinking milk and it's just like... That's my Dane Cook.

That's my Dane Cook bit. I was at the 7-Eleven. I was at the 7-Eleven and I went up to the guy and said, I'll cut your fucking head off. I'm gonna cut your fucking head off With my mouth And my teeth And my knife

And he was just like I want to meet Canyon Dane Cook You know what's crazy Is I've never watched A Dane Cook set Really? Yeah Dude you should

You should go Listen to Harmful of Swallowed Like I did last week Just to remember what it's like Just to see When I was a kid I was just like This is the funniest

I think Harmful of Swallowed Is a worse set Than What's the other one? Shocker one? The Forcum ASU Vicious Circle Vicious Circle Yeah Vicious Circle Vicious Circle the funniest i think harvey swall is a worse set than uh what's the other one darker one the the forcum asu vicious circle vicious circle yeah vicious circle yeah vicious vicious circle

performed live in the quad at asu there's no quad but yeah dude i just almost said we should we should do this we'll have to get in a meeting but it's rip breslin shirts and it's like it's like when you're like homie dies and you like fucking miss you homie like you know 19 1992 to fucking yeah 2022 i know that would make it 30 years who's the face of breslin i was i was thinking we do like an ai generated guy so it's like nobody or or we could it could just be Germa. Like a young downscaled Germa, like a college age Germa. We just give Germa a cut and we're good.

And it just says Rip Breslin. That's like the pictures that's like, it was like top of Reddit. It's like, this is every serial killer in one man. Yeah. It's just Germa in a Red Sox jersey. Dude, it happens and it's like an inside joke, but they're like, how does this keep happening? Because it'll show up over and over. Also, the video of Germa, like, it's like this deaf man here is for the first time.

Oh, my God. That was great. Dude, I've had this genius idea for so long. We just haven't done it yet. Where it's like all of our merch items are, it's like yard sales. That's like our website we use and stuff. We have Slime's garage sale. And it's the side.

And Slime just has a random idea like this. And he just makes it. It's like, yeah, they're dipshit like Gildan shirts like they're not you just make it only sell 10 no yeah what do you want why are you what are you bothering me for what's wrong with that shoe okay my bad sorry tired of this shit man olive drab lulus i love it lulus are nice you're like an army guy who has a fat mom ass You got a fat mom I had to pick up Yeah moms like Lulu

Yeah but also you're an olive drab Yeah olive drab looks nice Cutie pic for me You know what's funny We recorded yesterday an IRL video We haven't done a lot of these But we did, uh, the first bros versus pros with Magnus.

And the first thing slime says is he goes, Oh, what's he think about the whole Hans thing? Yeah. Cause he thought that we were climbing with Magnus Carlson. I didn't even know you were climbing. You don't even listen. I wasn't told anything.

You don't listen to us when we talk. When did you say it? It's Magnus. I don't live here anymore. Magnus Mitbo. Who's like the biggest climbing YouTuber. He's also Norwegian and has also met Magnus. You're talking about the guy in the D-coms, right? He plays the drums.

I don't understand that reference. I don't remember. Mitchell Musso. That's a Mitchell Musso joke? Wow. That's crazy. That is a deep fucking cut. It shouldn't be for you

We talk about him every week I Every week I get so fucking mad Thinking about Mitchell Musso You cocksucker What are you mad about? I don't know Okay

Yeah that sounds about right Alright moving on It sums up most of Salon's life Piece of shit Yeah Matt The chicken movie fucking sucks That's why Mitchell Magnus is a

Is a beast Okay so he's a rock climber Not the chest guy Yes Got it Who has met Magnus Carlsen? Okay Separately You're just confusing me for no reason mitchell magnus is a is a beast okay so he's a rock climber not the chest guy yes yes got it who has met magnus carlson okay separately you're just confusing me for no reason because they're both from norway no yeah yeah that's crazy this is like a norwegian name yeah but the both the fact that they're both goaded and from norway and named magnus they had a competition against each

other i feel like magnus like magnus in the context of Norway is like people being named Muhammad. Like it's just so common. I feel like I know at least four Norwegian Magnuses. Magnus. S4, the Dota player is named Magnus.

I don't know where he's from though. Yeah, he's a beast. He's amazing at climbing. We're rock climbing and there's a part where we were like you should try to climb with one of us on your back

and then he just does it. Is he jacked? Do you oil him up? He's so jacked. Can you show us Magnus Mitbo shirtless naked? Yeah, he's fucking insane. He's so humble. He'd be like, I don't think I can do this.

No, he's not humble. He's Norwegian and I hate it. It's fake humble. Oh, look at him. How old is he? I actually don't know. Hold on, let me think about this. 28? He's been climbing for 25 years. He's not 28. Look at him. How old is he? I actually don't know. Hold on. Let me think about this. 28?

He's been climbing for 25 years. He's not 28. Look at his face. He's obviously got some miles on him, but he looks great. Did you mean that when you said that? I have no clue how old he is. He's been climbing for 25 years. I think he started when he was 10.

I think he's 35. That's what I want to be like when I'm 35. Dude, look at his muscles. He's got such amazing muscles. Look at his leg muscles popping out dude he's like Kevin Bacon in Hollow Man but you can see it all

he has a tell he has a tell when he's capping because he walks up and he's like I think I might get a B on this test but he

he just starts climbing he doesn't take his shirt off and you know if he keeps his shirt on he knows he can do it and when he takes it off you're like now he's worried

but he never took it off it's the leaning forward on the melee setup of rock climbing he took it off once through his now he's worried but he never took it off it's the leaning forward on the melee setup of rock climbing he took it off once so the highest rate in the gym that we did was a v9 it was the highest rate of climb he literally flashed every beat he first tried

every v9 he tried put it in melee terms for me now he just did it first try and it was cool how the player flash showed up to his first major and got knife and he and he just did that? The melee terms is you show up and you beat Mango at his first try. Wow. It's always impressive.

Is it like the gym? It's the highest in the gym. That's why I'm saying it has to be a comparison where there's nothing harder you could have done. Flash didn't win the tournament. It's like you've never been to a tournament. You show up to the regional and you beat Gatsu first time out. You beat Gatsu? Well, everyone can beat Falcon. It's more like you put ginger in the fucking dirt, right?

You beat Kadoran first time out. Okay, now we're talking. Impossible. We hit some. Yeah, he was a beast. It was really fun. That's cool. What, uh, I was gonna ask, what is your thoughts on the chest drama? What's your thoughts on the drama? The olive-y boy. So, someone hit me up, because the skinny on the chest drama? What's your thoughts on the drama? The olive-y boy.

Someone hit me up because the skinny of the chest drama is that the rest of the- Oh, he's muggle male mode. Look at him. Did you see his face? Did you see his brow furrow? Let him cut. Let him cut. Let him do it.

Let him do it. But the way he- There's no point in calling it out. I'm just admiring it. You're wasting time here. He like snapped into place like a fucking action figure. All right, go. You should start the muggle males out. I'm just admiring it. You're wasting time here. He like snapped into place like a fucking like an action figure. All right, go. You can start

you should start the mobile mails out with that. Hey, boy. Hey, kiddos. And that's how you start every mobile mail. Hey, kiddos.

Hey, kiddos. You're always telling me and Nick to let Yan cook. You got to let Ludwig cook right now. All right, you're right. You're like an adult watching a movie.

His new thing in the Valorant call, his new thing in the Valorant call right now, small side, is he'll jump into the five-stack call, but he'll be yelling from his bed. So it's like distance to his mic.

Don't let Yan cook! Hey, you gotta let Yan cook! You gotta let Yan cook! Don't let Yan cook! He has a problem, dude. I won't get into it. No, because when Yan is fucking on the mic, he cooks it up like a sesh, like he's Benny T.

So, go on. So, anyway, the skinny of the chess drama is that there was a tournament a couple weeks ago, a week ago, and it had Magnus and Hans. Hans Niemann is a very new player. He just became GM like a year ago, and he's shot up in rating. Like, he went from, you know, like 20, like not GM, like 26, 700, uh, in,

in the quickest time span that almost anyone's ever done it in the past, like 20 years. Uh, and he beats Magnus in a game, which is crazy. Cause it's Magnus's worst loss in like forever. Yeah. Like 15 years.

Yeah. It's like genuinely his worst loss, um, by rating. Uh, cause usually at the worst, you're able to draw against a good opponent. And then after the match,

Magnus tweeted out something about like, if I speak, I'm in trouble. And then he dropped from the tournament. And he has never dropped from a tournament before in his whole career. Yeah. Even when sick, like he's played through tournaments against all odds. This is the first time. pretty nuts pretty crazy and then after that uh hans shot up to like 2700

already there's big fanfare but then people were like well hans kind of sus himself and hikaru went on an absolute tea bender where he was like spilling tea and he's like that's all i'm gonna say he's like you know what guys hans actually got in trouble once that's all i'm gonna say all right he cheated on chess.com that's all i'm gonna say all right we had to ban him off chess.com one time that's all i'm gonna say and then he like kept getting revealed that that at two points in his career at least known points hans had cheated uh in rated matches to boost his rating because he had felt pressure it's crazy you don't just get banned like you would in any other game he did silently get banned for a short period but it was not public no but if you yeah if you do that in video games right you're just fucking forever i think he

just used an engine as an engine to help him get moves i thought that oh yeah okay i did read that someone was talking about well how do you know someone's cheating in chess and it's like you make a move that is so big-brained that a human couldn't think that far in advance. When you analyze a chess game during or after, there's certain moves where it's like, yeah, that was the right move.

It's the only move. And it's like never been played in fucking history in a human game. And you just found it. People who are really good at deciphering this stuff can pretty much always tell there's one move that he made it was like an f4 move that's nitty-gritty but it was like a very um hard move to find and then afterwards he hadn't he didn't do a good job like explaining why he had made the move and but it's like also kind of hard to cheat in that venue

i don't even understand how you would because they fucking metal attacks you they do it's in person so it's like what do you have like a like a buzzer in your shoe so here's my theory of what happened i think that magnus was sus of hans from some previous game or something or or maybe someone in his team he went with an opening line that he had never done ever before in his life which which is true of the game. And there's some mole in his crew, because usually when you prepare an opening line, you have a crew who helps you. That mole told Hans

the line. Hans prepared for the line and then beat Magnus on a line that Magnus wasn't really good at that Hans knew he was going to do. Yeah, because in Hans' interview after, he basically said, I got really lucky. I happened to study that line this morning. But he had never done the line before. So how do you study something that's never been done?

Think about it. Also, that's just information wars. That's what the Russians did. Yeah, they're just playing normal chess. It is. Well, I think it's much more frowned upon in a post-Cold War era. It's frowned upon, but that's what they did. I don't know if it's considered cheating, to be honest.

I'm not that into the chess team. Well, that's a good question, right? Is stealing information and espionage cheating? I think it'd be frowned upon like i don't think you'd want governments do it you wouldn't invite that player back to a tournament yeah i guess so players would be like fuck that guy yeah fuck that guy he knows our secrets and he's also like finders he's not beating us honestly he's he's cheating by extracting yeah it is the ultimate gamer situation because i think as as as we all have worked with gamers in

different capacities, top players of anything will do anything they can to get an advantage. The Patriots got in trouble for this famously in 2003

when they had Spygate. Spygate. Oh, Spygate. Not the deflate. The one where you want to use an imposter and

you have to... Yeah, Tom Brady vented and it was a whole shit. J-Shot videos. You do J-Shot videos with this? Kill yourself in real life with a gun.

They filmed the Rams team during their practice for the Super Bowl. Yeah, yeah. And they like took their practice footage. They basically Hansed it.

Yeah. Maybe that's where he got the idea. He was like looking up He was born after that. Yeah, but he was looking up hot sun kissing videos and he found out about Tom Brady. So you're not calling him a pedophile wait no no he just

said he's looking up hot son kissing videos between father and son you kiss your son you're a pedophile tom brady's a pedophile so you think is that what you're saying nick i'm gonna say this one more oh kill yourself in real life baby girl and I love you on NSYNC what did Nick figure out the other day I had to educate Nick that Justin Timberlake coined the phrase wardrobe malfunction

he didn't know that you guys didn't know that I guess I'm just 77 years old you drive a Model T if you knew that in the chat let us know in the chat yeah jt coined the term m m what is it there was a wm a long time ago on myspace days there was an a musical artist called the caca man and the caca man he he shut up he was serious this is serious he would make uh parody versions of popular songs but they were based on poop and caca yeah and he did one uh based on sexy back but it was uh

i'm bringing poopy back or something it was uh i'm bringing caca back i think but i just remember there was a yeah i see zippers cursor moving he's looking it up try to find a zipper but there was one really funny line where he said um take it to the toilet or something no no no it was gotta take a shit okay i guess i guess i'm better than the conga man but funny enough me and my friend eric loved the conga man we. We were like, this is so... How old were you at that time? I was way too old to think it was this funny. I was like 18, 19. Okay, that's too old.

I downloaded a free ringtone that was your mom is calling back, and it was in the tune of that song. Really? Dude, ringtones. My grandma had a ringback tone. Nasty bitch. My grandma had a ringtone that fucking my grandma my grandma had a ringback tone that fucking nasty bitch and i i hated her yeah and i still do okay so so the kaka man funny thing

is that he made all these songs and he like did this for a long time on myspace and he eventually found god and abandoned the kaka man wow and i think now it's just a normal guy i feel like most things in life are about finding God and abandoning your own inner caca man. It's like how we grow and improve. Same story with the rapper named Titty Boy. Found God, changed his name to 2 Chainz.

No! You don't know that 2 Chainz's name was Titty Boy? No. I did not know that. We're all learning right now. Real hip hop. I wanted my class song when we graduated to be right there by chingy but they didn't want they didn't that's a beautiful song yeah that's why i listened to it at that national park in iceland my current bit is playing valorant and typing the entire game in chat about how hip-hop needs to come back and uh and like we like went around

and we're like i'm like it's just not the same anymore dude fucking vinnie paz literally came in and fucked the game up and rap has not been the same sense and the other he's like shut the fuck up and i'm like fucking bro dude have you listened to the moral technique album one time have you really listened though have you heard every word he's saying about the government it's all true you know that right dude it's just like the uh sahib can't sing uh the tiktok where he's like talking about logic and he's like it's all true you know that right dude it's just like the uh sahib can't sing uh the tiktok where he's like talking about logic and he's like is this like does this challenge you does this make you think and he's like when bobby was talking about this and the guy from the pov is like bobby and he's like logic and then it cuts it he's so funny his friend pushes play and then

it's a part where logic is just like ring ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring. And he's saying, it's for you. You gotta pick it up. Have you seen this? No. It's so good. It's so good. God love that guy.

Man. Bring back Logic. Where's he at? He, like, retired, right? Yeah, he just made more music. Oh, he's back? Like, within the past, like, few months. Oh, yeah, the Twitter retirement.

Oh, remember when you diced him in chess? Yeah. And I was like, what did I tell you? I was like, please tell him that. Oh, you're the Twitter retirement. Oh, remember when you diced him in chess? Yeah. And I was like, what did I tell you? I was like, please tell him that. Oh, I told you. I told Ludwig to send him that TikTok.

I was like, can you please send this to Logic? And it's like, it's essentially making fun of Logic. Yeah. And Ludwig's like, yeah, I'm not gonna do that.

Yeah, I'm gonna be bullying. Yeah. Yeah, that'd be so mean. You wanted me to beat him in a game of chess and then make fun of him. Yeah. I guess I did want that.

He'd be fun on the pod Yes, I got a good back rank. What's that mean? He just got a really bad shot Yeah, he got a nasty back shot on me when I wasn't looking which is problematic Can you say can you get it out Tattoo I dig in it. Yeah, I was wondering you should you should do what I do And every time someone asks you what what your tattoo means just say a different thing. Yeah, I'm gonna do a tattoo. I did get a new tattoo. Yeah, I was wondering. You should do what I do, and every time someone asks you what your tattoo means, just say a different thing. Yeah, I'm down.

I think it's funny, because, okay, so... It's an old skin for Don't Tread On Me. For the record, it is... It's the same tattoo they all got in Starship Troopers before they go fight the bugs, and it's, like, kind of a shitpost. I think it also looks kind of funny and kind of cool. I showed it to Dawson, and he was like,

I think wearing, like, a skull tattoo kind of cool. I showed it to Dawson and he was like, I think wearing like a skull tattoo, like isn't the vibe right now. And I was like, yeah, that does make sense. I didn't think about that. So now I have to, uh,

every time it's like someone sees it, they think I'm like a cop. Yeah. I have to pleasantly surprise them. You just go get another tattoo that says fuck cops. Yeah, just fuck cops. In parentheses.

I don't like cops LMAO, but I do I do know that this could be misconstrued. Close parentheses. It goes all the way down your arm. Just explain. Full sleeve. I gotta get my fuck cops tattoo. I actually really like that idea. Which one?

The face logo and it says fuck cops. Oh, that's it. Yeah. Yeah. I had Brandon do this one. You know, yard against Brandon. Shout out. He was so pumped

on the fuck cops idea because he does not like cops. Oh, you messaged him about it? Yeah, I was like, hey, would you do this idea? He's like, absolutely. I'm honored to do that idea. Yeah.

He's great. We're both equally inked now. Both have two tattoos. Yeah, I was saying, me and Ludwig can't be buried in a Jewish graveyard, so that sucks for us. Yeah.

You can't either. Amen can. You know there's no hell, though, in Judaism? Wait, really? There's no hell hell there's no way that's true where does everyone go where does ronald reagan go you go to heaven or not what do you but yeah do you just like they gotta live in jersey is it like dark souls where you just uh you are the undead and you just inhabit the earth i i i'm not this deep and that's what hell and that's what reagan's doing he's just roaming reagan just keeps getting killed and people take his souls but then they arrested the bonfire so

he just gets back he's on his computer in his studio apartment somewhere and he's like why are these people at vox so mean to me i don't understand i only know what rich campbell told me oh i'll figure out more this friday yeah i do like that figure out more about cultures and stuff i'm learning i'm getting knowledge rich campbell showed up to do wine about it with fear the other day and he was wearing like a whole suit that was like lemons it was crazy yeah they were they were to the nine they were dressed to the nines i'm like damn i've never dressed up like this they looked like they were dressing up as pimps for Halloween. Yeah, they really did.

Yeah, I was trying to find the words. There they are. But they look great. When are we going to do the Wine About It collab? We have to get QD on this pod. Who's that? Wow. QD.

Zipper, how much time do we have right now? 30. 30? What are you getting all after you 30 what do you mean fuck i need to pee so bad oh you gotta pee bottle time baby why do you always do you ever pee before the pod it actually usually why do you have to piss so hot all the time that's true i think so okay there's no way 15 i was like there's no way i can make it 15 i can make it 15 tell me the fucking truth why do you have so much piss in your balls? I can make it 15. I can make it 15. I can't. Tell me the fucking truth. Why do you have so much piss in your balls?

Because I had four drinks this morning. What were they? Two coffees and two full cups of water in the couple hours before the podcast. He's staying hydrated. Anyway. Those lips are plump. What were you going to say? Tell me about H-Rod.

What's going on with H-Rod? You saw what happened with H-Rod. No. Oh, yeah. H-Rod got hacked. Oh, yeah. He got hacked. Wait, really?

Yeah, that was crazy you didn't see this how do I miss I forgot yeah I got a text or call from Connor I'm in the shower balls out watching VCT and then I pick up and then are you watching Tarek or VCT I'm watching Tarek which is the only way to watch VCT that dude runs VCT yeah that you're why Sean Garris is out of a job that is actually a new job. Poor Sean. He did get boomed. He's still goaded.

Derek's goaded too, but come on. Hey, look. Spread the love. Goat's the goat. Anyway, I get a call and it's like, A-Truck's been hacked. And I looked at A-Truck's YouTube channel and it's called Ark Investment.

And they're doing a live stream with Jack from Facebook and Elon Musk. Jack from Twitter, yes. Sorry, and Elon Musk. And they're just talking about crypto. And it's like, it's some scam thing. All his videos are gone.

Yeah, that's scary. I give him a ring, no answer. Yeah, there it is. Oh my God. I call Ari. I'm like, yo, can you wake up, Brandon? When would this happen?

It happened Saturday. Oh, so he was like probably sleeping in. Yeah. Oh my God. And so I he was like probably sleeping in. Yeah. That explains why. And so I get her to get him up. He gets up and he's freaking out. And what happened is he has like 10 editors, right?

And so editors can be like managers of your channel. And for me, I have like both my editors and my mod Tim who editors in my channel. And one of the editors got hacked. Oh, that's how it happened. And they were able to, like, because you get so much power, private every single video,

change his profile picture, change his banner, add a live stream, start a live stream. That's crazy. They have so much power. That's actually too much because there's different levels

of, like, access you can give to people that access your channel and he gave them too much. No, you need manager. No. Because there's three levels. There levels there's one that's like community manager which is like just moderating like comments there's manager which is all the powers i just said and then there's owner no there's editor there's literally editor no i just looked at this this

week because i tried to do it for you there's only three options they got rid of editor there's only three options really yeah and they're those three options don't have enough differences in those layers. That was the wrong side. You can't fucking get rid of it. What YouTube needs to do is a very simple solution. You don't change anything in that structure.

You just, anytime someone gets enabled as a manager, their account forces them to sign up for two-factor. Yeah, or something. Yeah. I don't know.

That's it. It's solved. Be careful out there, gamers. Anyway, he got boomed. He lost his verification badge. Lamau, not even verified. It's solved. Be careful out there, gamers. Anyway, he got boomed. He lost his verification badge. Lamau, not even verified. L plus ratio. L plus ratio plus bald.

Old plus HRock plus back hurts probably sometimes for no reason. Plus knees are bad soon. Plus plays League a lot now. Yeah. Plus good friend, good listener. Plus like really considerate to your feelings. Yeah. Dude, when I got drunk at shit camp, I learned how to smoke cigarettes, which is such a bad

thing to do. You never smoked cigarettes? Why did you do that? Because it was like, it was almost like a grooming way to learn how to smoke cigarettes. I was hanging out with Cyr and Myth. Me and Myth don't smoke cigarettes and Cyr does occasionally. He quit, but he like, you know, he'll pop the one. When you're drunk, it's so fun to smoke cigarettes.

It feels so cool. We were smoking. He was smoking. And then we, because Cyr is also like an improv guy. We tried. It's so fun to smoke cigarettes. It's so cool. We were smoke He was smoking and then we because here is also like an improv guy we tried So great our way that we were learning smoking was by trying to do a movie scene Where you like deliver like a line of news coolly with a cigarette? Oh, that's how it so we would all pass around the cigarette and it'd be like it'd be like Michelle died and then and then We'd be like it'd be like michelle died and then and then we'd be like i was hated that bitch but we would all go around with a different line but then afterwards i

realized that i had just smoked a cigarette and was just getting accustomed to smoking cigarettes yeah and i was like this was dumb this was just a stupid way wait did you like them at the end of the session by the end of it, I wasn't like coughing. I was like, this is fine. Like, I could do this. Yeah. Yeah. And I was like, oh, no.

Oh, no. Run away. It's like it's like in King of the Hill. He made Bobby smoke the whole pack. Bobby didn't like that. We should do that with you. I have to smoke the whole pack to teach it because you feel like shit and it teaches you to not like your first time.

I like smoking a whole pack. I assume you feel terrible. I looked up a video of a one-drag. Oh, my God. No. Like a cigarette? Yeah, there's this guy. He's like, I think it's like a military base, and he just fucking one-drags a cigarette.

Oh, that's fucked. And he looks ghastly after. He looks green. That's the video. Zipper got it. Yeah, has he ever seen this shit? Go halfway through, because he takes a while to light that bitch and get it going. Look at this. Look at this.

Look at this. It's a video of this guy. Look at the guy in the back. He's like, he's like, ugh. Definitely all military guys have it shaved down to the bone

and he just keeps sucking like too long. He doesn't fucking let it go. Dude, that is great. That's like Tom and Jerry when he hits it in one pull. Yeah.

Where's this ridiculousness? Dude, that Tom and Jerry is the smoothest thing of all time yeah it's great oh and he's like yeah

cause he has Jerry and he makes him lick the paper that clip going around on Twitter is the same thing as Ghibli food posts it gets recycled

every six months the Tom and Jerry clip makes it around again yeah that's their this is the commentary is so funny I think oh it's yeah one pull oh dude dude that's so funny dude we just edited the words to say something else

boner come yeah that's easy it's a free one that is great yeah animation is great i love animation sound effects. That's brave of you to say. I do. Yeah, you are a big fan of animation. Animation's great. Also, moving pictures, movies, television. Anything you can kind of watch that moves around.

You're on it. But sometimes even things that are static are also great. So, that's cool. You guys are all speaking my language today, and I appreciate that. Can I talk about something that pissed me off? Yeah, sure, man. I want to air my shit. But I'm so mad about this.

So you know how that episode we were like kind of doing a, we were doing like a little bit on Stan's like, oh, dude, he's gonna watch this. We're gonna own him. It's like, oh, like, yeah, thanks for pausing Stan. We were like doing this whole thing. Someone just went to his chat and said, don't watch the art episode. They did this and wrote it all out.

And I'm like, what a fucking asshole. Oh, he was blown away. That is an art. And I'm like, what? In this person's head, right? What are they? I'm going to protect my favorite streamer. I'm going to fuck you.

Yeah. Fucking loser. Why would you do that? He was really, he was really mad about it. Why are you protecting it from a funny bit? He said, the moment where stands accidentally actually does it is so much grander and hurts no one. But to just tell them it's just for you.

Yeah. It's only for you're taking everything just to have a little moment. What did Stans do? No, it just didn't happen. He didn't even watch it? No, no, he did. He eventually did. But like, I think Stans knew that.

But he came into it knowing. That he was going to. Yeah, but if you're a good streamer, you just pretend you don't know. No, but he said he read the message. How loud? Yeah. So he's a bad streamer, for one. And that person fucking blows.

I was so mad. I'm like, why are you that selfish and young and dumb? Yeah, yeah. He's like me. You're like a mean man. You guys are the same on this episode. It's kind of weird. I messaged him.

I said, I'm slime-pilled. Yeah, he literally said, I'm slime-pilled. And I'm like, I know. I've always been right! Always! No, hold on. You're over-correcting. You're wrong most of the time. About this shit, everyone lands at the same conclusion. Oh, I'm not the pendulum. It's cold.

It's swinging back. About this shit in particular, everyone always lands at the same conclusion. Except Ludwig, because he has brain rot. You are wrong most of the time. No, about this shit. No, I don't want to specify shit. You're wrong a lot. No, i'm not wait you just said that i'm right i secretly believe deep down even when you say that yeah

i was wrong you think you're right still no that's not true like when we i fucked up with nick uh the other day well you couldn't say anything there like well that's what i'm saying i'm unequivocally i messed up and like that's okay that's why I was like yeah bro like you know sometimes sometimes I am that's rare footage though I've already been on this road other times I believe I'm right he thinks the stakes are low he's right until he can't be someone's feelings when you guys sneeze does

your taint hurt no no no do you want to do you want to do you need like a ride to the doctor maybe or like what part of the taint like the outside of the literal taint like when you sneeze yeah but? Do you need like a ride to the doctor maybe? Like what part of the taint? Like the outside or the inside? The literal taint. Like when you sneeze. Yeah, but like the skin or like inside your prostate?

I don't see it. Like it's squeezing. Like a muscle pull. I don't think so. No, you should. You should go get looked at. It's not for me. Who is it for?

Tungwa. But I was just checking. Ooh, he's got like a prostate thing. It is for me, but I thought it was like a common thing. But I'm realizing it's not so common. I mean, is it just when you sneeze or is it when you tense up? It's when I sneeze specifically only. Can you make it happen without

sneezing? No. Dude, try again. I feel like I feel like you can't generate the force of a sneeze just for fun. I think you have to have a sneeze happen. I think sneezing is conjoined to kegeling. Whoa. Yes, I think it flexes your kegels maybe maybe you just have really strong kegels i used to uh if it's hurting you i don't think it's

a strength so strong i was i was seeing this girl a long time ago and i was i was busting too fast which is a rare problem for me but this is years and years ago yeah because missionary it's like hard to like go on It's just so electric. We're at an office job. I'm just a fucking lighthouse. And then I was, so I was like reading about how to like, you know,

last longer. And one of them is you just kegel and you get your kegel muscle, your dick muscle really strong. And so I just be in my, in my office job, just fucking like,

just doing like reps all day. Bro, you were, you were one fucking inch away from Jelk Tube. No, no, I'm not trying to get bigger. It's just like, all day. Bro, you were one fucking inch away from JelkTube. No, no. I'm not trying to get bigger. It's just like... I'm not saying you were.

I'm just saying... Oh, yeah. I'm close. The guy who does Kegel exercises at work is very close to learning about Jelking and entering the world. Jelking is close to Kegel Dick Nation for sure. They're bordering nations. There's a Vendair in there for sure.

They're like, we're not weird like them. There's a land border and they share resources for sure. But some people go to both subreddits. It's a Vendair in there for sure. We're not weird like them. There's a land border and they share resources for sure. But some people go to both subreddits. It's like Coachella and Burning Man.

Yeah. Yeah, it's like H-Rock and Stance. Yeah, H-Rock's the Burning Man of Bloodstream. Stance is the Jail King as H-Rock is the Kegels.

One's shameful and one's, I guess they're both shameful. Did it work? Yeah, so basically when you're about to bust you just fucking fucking kegel real hard and it simmers everything down. So, but now I got the opposite problem and I'm too goaded.

You gotta unkegel. You gotta let it loose. I just gotta sound. You know what you can do? Is you take one of those, what are the Theraguns? Right to your kegel muscle. The Hypervolt? Loosen it up.

That's the thing, Josh, it was like his bit. He just had a Hypervolt and he would just ask if you wanted a massage. He loves that because he also had the acupuncture mat. Oh, yeah. And he's like, you got to lay on it. No, lay on it. Come on, lay on it. I'm like, leave me alone.

He's got so many trinkets and gadgets. Yeah, why is he a gizmo guy? I like it. When he'd come around, he'd come into the office, he'd be like, you want some right now? I'm like, yeah, I do. He'd also occasionally hit you with the let's cuddle. Really?

What? He never hit me with that. You got hit with a... I would. Wait, wait. Was he clothed? Yeah, you just, we would cuddle, me and Josh. He'd be like, let's cuddle this time.

We'd like watch TV or something. Yeah. Oh. This is just me? I feel like shit. He never asked me that. Now I'm left out. Okay.

Also, in your mogul mail about 100 Thieves, you were like, see, I've never been part of an esports team because it's weird. Yeah. And I sent that to Josh and he was like stealing my whole flow, bro. I said one. I just, it's an homage. It is an homage, which I like because you never do homages. We had a debate about swag jacking for 20 minutes.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. We were talking about, well, I don't know if it was a debate. I think we agreed mostly. I think we did, but it's still a discussion. Yeah. He swag jacked you? We were talking about, no, we were talking about well, I don't know if it was a big I think we agreed mostly I think we did but it's still discussion. Yeah, we were talking about no we were talking about just like what constitutes a swagjack Is it purely the idea that someone else has a thing? That's their thing and you start doing it too Even if they're like like hey like for example if I come up to you and you're wearing a nice pair of pants

I say hey, where do you buy your pants? I want to I want to get a pair and then you tell me and i go buy some am i swag jacking you or is it swag jacking if i see you wear the pants i'm like those are tight i just go buy some and i show up wearing a pair of pants that you own and you're like you dropped you dropped my swag which one are they both swag jacks or is it just the second one you know that's what we were kind of talking about i think i think i would love to get into this discussion and you can get in on it as well, but not really. You can listen to us talk about it on the Patreon. Oh, you're gonna...

Yeah, you gotta spend money to hear a conversation about pants. Yeah, sorry. So that's how we work things around here. Yeah, fucking pay for it now, pig. Okay, pay for it now. I'm sorry. I'm gonna...

The Patreon episode, this guy's a little... Oh, ow! Pay for it now, pig. Okay, pay for it now. I'm sorry. I'm gonna... Pay us a pee really bad. The Patreon episode, this guy's a little... Oh, ow! Oh, dude, you have his foot now, man. All right, man. Look, I don't know. Is it my ankle? We'll find out in the Patreon episode.

You don't have to tease your ankle being hurt. We're not letting him back up. And I'm gonna say more things in the Patreon episode. What are you saying? And then I'm gonna... I don't know. You sound like a sassy little kid. I don't know. I was trying a new thing. It didn't really work.

You're going goblin mode. Why are you panting? I don't like when he's like this. Thanks for watching The Yarn. I don't know. Maybe I'll be dead next time. Bye.