The Yard - Ep. 67 - We tried to podcast with Minecrafters. It was horrible. (ft. Banter)

Episode Date: October 19, 2022

This week, we're joined by the Banter podcast! The boys talk about Dream's face reveal, who works the hardest out of Banter and how Sapnap slapped George.

I Don't like the men spreading towards me I don't think do you not let me get in the House I was worried about was you're acting like I got got these. I'll do this. Is this chill? I got big thighs. Look at these. They're not obsessed with them. Damn, Jor. You don't like those? Damn, G. Do you guys like his pants?

Do you guys like his pants? Whose? Ludwig's. I already complimented them and he said that you got them. I already complimented them and he said that you got them. He did spill some paint on them. No, I would them. I already complimented them and he said that you got them. He did spill some paint on them. No, no, he told me Nick got them. Every time- no, I would never. Every time I get a compliment, I say Aiden got me these.

I never take credit. So he's had to say it two times now. Also, I like this idea. We need to steal this monastery in front of us. For when we do our sets. Yeah, a pro-gamer monitor? Yo, how about you guys steal doing a podcast regularly? Ooh.

Yo. Yo, you're building a studio? Why don't you build better relationships? What's up? There's a podcast regularly? Are you building a studio? Why don't you build better relationships? There's no way you're stupid. How about you build a relationship with a fucking bullet in your head? I was thinking about how everyone's talking. I didn't hear him. We're the same.

We're the same. Are we good? Are we rolling? Welcome to the worst idea anyone's ever had. Who's episode is first? Don't be that mean Mizkif did a comeback stream right? Welcome to the morning zoo We're gonna flip a coin

Heads it's a banter episode There's nothing on it I haven't flipped it yet Heads it's a banter episode Tails it's a yard episode And then we're gonna do two episodes So if you guys enjoy this No heads

We get first pick Tails you get first pick are you trying to draw it out better he's just smarter don't be mean hey siri flip a coin yes heads hey first pick we're going second they're gonna palm our episode and be shit

I hate that you could weaponize it. I didn't think about that. You like that? So this is our episode. Welcome back to the yard, everybody. Let's go. I'm in their heads. You can throw.

Episode. Carl, what episode are we on? Episode 63. That's so close. Oh, wow. 67. 67? Technically 66.5.

But it's been 15. Oh, 66.5. You're right. It's been 15 weeks since I was on It's been a damn minute I'm not gonna do that math right now It's been a damn minute Don't put me on the spot like that ever again

Do you know that? I was on 52 So you did his lol Yeah yeah yeah I was on the year I'm impressed Oh that's right It's insane that you even know you were on 52

52 is easy to remember Yeah 52 is easy Can we explain who our lovely friends are who are handsome and cool and young? Simon does not know who any of you are. That's not true. That's not true. I played Fortnite together and that was really fun with Jerma. Yeah, it was hype.

Wait, hold on. I was also there. What's his name? Rick? I saw your Twitch badge. There was no fancy badge. I could go through the legs. Yo, Nick. How you doing, dude. I saw your Twitch badge. There was no fancy badge. I could go through the legs over the fucking back of it. Yo, Nick.

Yeah. How you doing, man? Doing good. Wait, what? I was just talking to Nick. Oh, because new Nick. Dude. Better Nick, I'd say.

That's a good bit, actually. No glasses. Tons of crypto. Good eyesight. And then we got, I didn't know George Not Found was so handsome. Really? Yeah. I feel like everyone knows that.

Okay. Go fuck yourself. Relax. That's okay that's like the redeeming quality about him oh really other than that you're British L ratio

corporate corporate of Aiden's okay Aiden's biggest tweet ever yeah yeah did you know that

I didn't know so one time I was in Aiden it's a bit of a small account bit of a niche account and we were in the kitchen with Schlatt, Connor and Sinjin Drowning

and JWoww and we were all hanging out and then Connor was drunk and he was just like, just tweet out right now, I love George Not Found. It'll pop off. And I looked at Connor

and I was like, who is george not found he's like trust me and then and then like a subsection of minecraft twitter was like this guy from the ludwig universe doesn't even know who george is and he tweeted about him they're all excited about it which is which was even weirder that they were excited about me tweeting about you you know how they oh there's no growth hacks to growing on social media. There's no special hashtags you can use to say you like George on Instagram. It's me, baby.

It's a family product. Yeah, it is the Johnson & Johnson of what you guys do. What's your beef? You have beef with George. You have beef with SnapNap. SnapNap. We were close. Sorry.

I had too many consonants. You played Fortnite? You got beef with SnapNap. We'll never forget our Fortnite experience. You got beef with snap-nap snap-nap George the jungle we got the reboot card and fucking took off dude it was Why why do you guys beef with Hype not hype what's the word little bit of tension between us? Yeah Maybe maybe we'll resolve it. Maybe we don't.

Stay tuned to figure it out. You know what I mean? You never know. For the next episode. Explain this Frankenstein's monster that you've created here. What is this? Because you hit me up for this idea. What was your... Oh.

Oh, this. You mean this. Oh, this. What is this? So I was like, we need episodes to do in real life. We're all in LA together. And I had this idea that I pitched to them that they loved, where we did a whole month where we just did a banter X and then another podcast.

But then I was like, we can't set the whole thing up here, but we do have the yard right here. And that would be a fun episode because I actually had a lot of fun on the yard. You're pitching this like a genius idea, but really it's like, let's use other podcast resources to do our podcast. No, to be clear,

we have a makeshift studio ready. We've already filmed four episodes. It's not because of that. It's because I thought it'd be fun. Do you know why Sapnap thought it was a good idea? Why? So he can talk even less now. Yeah.

Wait, let's get some of his first word on the podcast. I've already talked. Really? I'm good. I already did my quota. And real banter heads get that one. That was for real banter heads. That's for the banter heads that are listening.

We love you. Do you guys have a name? I just feel like I like to actually say things of value instead of spewing absolute nonsense like Giorgio. Wrong name. Infighting. Let's watch the montage of Samnop's valuable moments. It's like 10 seconds long.

If you want to spew value, then we went to the wrong collaboration. Wait a minute. You guys should battle around. How about this? We did this last time with us us but how about you three go around you name one of the icks that you have for each other and

then one thing you really like about each other yeah like an ick yeah like for instance Ludwig like his his belly gets so bloated and disgusting and weird and nasty

but you love it it's the same thing I kind of love I need it it's the rose and the thorn so okay Carl you go first

I don't want to go first because I want to see like I won't stab no I'm not going first George you go first I think't want to go first because I want to see I won't stab anyone I think George should go first Who do I say it about You have to do them both Oh god Yeah that's right

It's a lot of pressure You just have to think of an ick for Carl I just want him to set the tone so I know how deep I'm going My ick for Carl is how toxic he is online I like that I'm taking him to set the tone so I know how deep I'm going my egg for Carl is how toxic he is online I'm taking that to a love. I like that really yeah, I like that you like when he boots up in a Valorant game And he goes around to kill yourself That's how I justify it Nobody asked what they did. I feel like there's justification for everything. That's how I justify it.

What's the other side of the coin, huh? I found my ick for Carl. Oh man, that took a long time to be clear. There was a lot, but I didn't know if I could say them. Yeah, that's right. This is what I can say. Carl will do this thing where everyone's ready to be done for the day and who make guys

I haven't streamed yet. I need to stream. Okay, we need to happen immediately And he'll be like when you get on when you go and I hate it You have a burst of motivation like two hours before you want to do a thing and I've been called by you several times You'd be like Jack box 5 p.m. It's like 459 And I've been called by you several times and be like Jack box 5 p.m. It's like 4 59 His life mission to get that done no streamed in three days it needs to happen. All right, let me bring up Through the big mental file cabinet right now Just like I've got this one I've got this one I'll tell you about making processes later

Yeah alright what's your ick for Zapdop? There's a lot I know There's a lot going through his brain right now You can't include the part where he slapped the shit out of you the other day That doesn't count as a dick Yeah that's just base and cool So I'm not Okay an ick

I would say like What? I'm not... Uh... Okay, an ick, I would say like... What? You know what like... I don't know if this is wrong. Cause I know where he's gonna go. You know what I think... Is it called like... Napoleon Syndrome? Yeah, where he's very short and he overcame it with his...

With his personality and... Yeah. It's called like short man syndrome too. Dude, he's not short. with like personality and yeah this is a call out dude he's not short he's taller than me what's happening? is the ick that he's short or is the ick that he's short and mad about it? is that

what you're saying is that he's short and then he overcame it by trying to be like the leader is that what the napoleon syndrome is? wow well I'll wait for him to say his love first. Maybe he can bring this back. I just love his Minecraft content so much. That's great. Dude, that seemed dumb.

My turn, bro. It's my turn. Oh, he wants it. He wants it. Bing! So what you guys don't know about George is he's like an actual cunt. He says shit. He says shit to me that like if he wasn't like my like really good friend I've known for years that I just would genuinely not be friends with this Shit he just skipped around saying best friend by the way. I'm not gonna ignore

So you're fucking toxic as shit yes He's like like you'll say some shit that I'm like, damn, if I hadn't known this guy for years and years now, I just would not talk to him. You know like Inside Out? Have you seen the Pixar movie Inside Out? Like the core memories?

Like George would take a core memory and just start peeing on it. And what I like about George is he just streams so often. Oh, come on. Yeah, he was insulting me. We need a real love.

You didn't give me a real love. I'm not going to give you a real love. Wait, was that backhanded when you said you love his Minecraft content? That's just bullshit. No, I do like it. Nobody loves his Minecraft content. No passive aggression when we talk about the things we love. Guys, we're supposed to be loving here?

This is a productive space. You go again. We need a better love. We need a better love. Go again. What do you love about this man? Banter gets vulnerable. There's nothing wrong with complimenting your male friends.

I know you guys don't get vulnerable at your ripe young age. I love... Tender. Let's say they're the same age. Let's say ripe. You're so tender. I don't know what I love. I mean...

Dude, don't look him up and down like that. You are evil. And this is why he got the shit slapped out of him. So you actually slapped him? Like the fuck out of him. I was really drunk. He was belligerent. Weapon!

Okay, here, I'll- Because neither of them will give the real story. Here's what happened. So here's the problem. We talked about it on our podcast and that's gonna come out after this because we're slow. Alright, we'll do it too long to read. No, no, we should explain it because we can have to explain why I slapped the shit out of someone. To be fair, I will say no matter what you guys take out of this, don't be mad at Sampnup

because he was in the right for slapping him. I saw it at SQC, I think, similar night. Is this at TwitchCon? Yes. Yes, it was. It was the night after Dream looked like he got jumped. Oh, so Sunday. Yeah.

Sure. I think it was Sunday. Was it Sunday for you? Yeah. Wait, you're going around slapping people. Look. Yeah. Sure. Yeah. It was Sunday. It was Sunday for you? Yeah. Wait, you're going around slapping people. Look at us. You slapped the show. I wonder if it was potentially in sync.

What time was it? I saw it was like Sunday morning tech. It was like 2 a.m. Wait. Wait. Oh, shit. Was it full moon? Dude, it actually was.

It actually was this weekend. Is that the only time it's okay to slap influencers in the face? Just go on stick-o-mode. Basically the too-long-didn't-read is... No, I think we shouldn't too-long-read... I'm not going to. George does this thing where he'll figure out, oh man, what makes SABNUP actually dislike himself a little?

Like you find a genuine insecurity Sitting on a couch I'm a bird's-eye view. He's a bird's-eye view But it wasn't what you did at that moment. It's what you have been doing. All night he was like coming at. I don't even remember. For some real life stuff. Some stuff. The type of stuff where you're sleeping and you wake up and you're like. You do it all the time.

I rode in a car with you for maybe 20 minutes. And in it you said cutie likes you more than me three times. Three separate times. It's true. Three separate times. He's like I only say true shit. I'm not making stuff up. And in it you said cutie likes you more than me three times That goes for I'm so drunk I kind of want to beat the shit out of a George right now Oh, then George goes he's so so it's dream sitting here George, and then I'm standing up over here and He goes dream. Don't let him do it If I didn't do in that situation, I'm just like the bitch like I just have to like it that way do it

What did you mean when you said do it well, I didn't think he was really gonna do it That is a talk shit get hit moment. George is Jordan Poole at the Warriors practice, bro. And the entire time, that's awesome. That's a good reference. How was the slap? Like, was it too hard, do you think? I slapped the shit out of him. He was loud. He was ringing like George's ear Like a fucking, like a Looney Tunes character

Like a Looney Tunes character I think it was a wild source because like Dream was like blocking me He like tore my hand so I got out And when I got out I was like that's it It was like a spring It was like in the ear type stuff It was on my back and it said KO It was on my back and it said KO

It was like Were you guys like pretty drunk? I was My A was like KO My A was like Red feet was there Were you like pretty drunk? I was Oh so you felt it That's almost more reason So what's the aftermath? I let him slap me back

I actually want to ask you a question about that Was that out of your own, is the word, volition? Yeah I had a feeling that Dream told you to do that no he didn't that was weird that was me

because I was like he's just never gonna like the scene of Dream of Sin P bro it's not scripted yeah I was like he's just not gonna forgive me for it no you would've had it coming for you

I would've got you back somehow I know so I was like let's just get it over with now I'll play this again and I've said this this time now if you were to slap the shit out of me

I'd have to jump up and try to fight him I was ready for that 100% I realized I was like you hit me I was like if I try to fight the shit out of me, I'd have to jump up and try to fight him. I was ready for that. 100%. I realized I was like, you hit me. I was like, if I try to fight back, like, we're just both gonna end up hot. I was like, I might as well just sit

here and get you back later. So then, yeah, so I was gonna try, like, instinctually I probably would've jumped up and tried to hit him. If that got held back and then Sabanop's like, fine, you can hit me, I'd be like, no. At that point, like, I'm not- That's when you hit him with the, I'm going to hit you, just you don't know when.

Yeah, you don't know. And it's not going to be physically. It's going to be sometime in the next three years. Oh, yeah. It's some mind games type shit. Check for tomorrow. To be fair, though, that's if I did that, like, what if you had, like, deserved it?

Kind of, I feel like how, like, George had it coming. And you said, do it. Like, are you really going to be, like, that mad about it at that point? If I said do it, I wouldn't be mad. There's a point in time where if a dude gets slapped they just caveman out and just start like ooking and awing You know what I mean? I just wanna fight back Yeah you go Oonga Boonga We almost did this once so we were playing Mario Party together I wish Mario Party was a board

The goat So this is called a yard because we had a space in the backyard where we would fight After playing Mario Party and being drunk Like where the podcast concept comes from. I'm the only one who would fight over a group here. You were the most powerful warrior that we had. I did herald many Ws. And then one day we're playing on a team together and we win.

Skins. Skins versus shirts. We're Skins. Because you guys used to make content out of this too. Right. But this is offline for funsies. And then I slap him on the back of the car. Still Skins. We got a star and on the back of the star. Still skins.

We got a star and we were down like five stars on turn four. Like it was fucked up. And I slap him on the back in like a, we can do this. And then he gets up and he goes, let's go to the fucking yard right now. I was so mad. It hurt so bad. And I was mad that we were losing the game. I was mad that he slapped me and I wasn't ready for it.

And it was just like my red back. I was like, let's fucking go right now. And knowing full well that he would snap my neck like a rabbit. You know what I mean? I refused. Yeah, you refused. You told me no, we're not doing that. Yeah, you're not like X who I will beat the shit out of.

Yeah, you'll slap silly. Wait, why do you slap? No, no, no. We'll ask because we got the we told the George. We'll farm the X one for ban. We'll farm that on banter. We'll farm the X one for banter. You like that? That's fair.

This one's extremely juicy, actually. A slap for a slap. I'll tell you about my slap story on the banter version. Is X in the house right now? I think so, yeah. X in the house. Wait, really? It is funny that we're all up here and X is downstairs. He had a night terror last night at like 4 a.m.

Do we have a new hole? Oh, really? There's no new hole, but he literally went. And then I was like, God, ah, ah, ah! And then I was like, God, I was like, holy shit. I do that too.

And then I opened, wait, you have night terrors and scream wildly? Yeah, yeah. Wait, wait, wait, explain. Is this just like a YouTuber streamer thing? I don't know.

I've done, I sleepwalk as well. Okay. Like, I'll get up and do things. Like, sometimes I'll wake up and my sheets are all on the floor

and things from like, the table next to my bed is all on the floor like a lot of the time what it will be is something will be attacking me like i'll see like i'll look up in the ceiling and knives are falling down or something and i'll get my my blanket and like use it to like block me from or like bees or spiders this is how british people sleep i'll use it to like whip away the falling projectiles and then like because of that i'm like fleeing it around like crazy and it knocks everything around in my often Does this happen? That's kind of rare? You know triggers it is it like you drank the night before you I don't drink you had a We stop with this fake story, I know you don't you dream

I've drunk a probably a total in my entire life like five liters of alcohol maximum Five liters is probably actually too much. It's like three. It's like about a gallon and a half What? It's like about a gallon and a half. No. That's not even like pure alcohol. That's not that much. Liter. One liquid US gallon is 3.7 liters.

Oh, that's like nothing. It's one gallon. And that's your whole lifetime? Probably. That was one night. Yeah, right? Close to five minutes before this podcast. And that's not even pure alcohol.

That's like alcoholic beverage. Wait, how old are you? I'm 25. 25. 24. 24. 21. The youngest bear known to man. You guys want to guess how old are you? I'm 25 24 The youngest bear known to man You guys want to guess how old I am?

We were talking about this downstairs You're still, wait, do numbers go that high? So you're still alive, I'd say like 28 I would say 29 I'm 32, go fuck yourself You said 47 Was I closest? I was closest

You gotta stop saying things like What Was I closest? I was closest. You gotta stop saying things that I go, what did I say? What did I do? What did I do though? So when you're awake you're a menace, when you're asleep you're a menace. Is there like a time of day that you're just like kind of vibing? No. When you're fucking Carl's mom. We vibe real well.

We have a connection. Wait a minute, are you saying he's more chill when that's happening? I feel like he'd be... We vibe real well What the fuck was that? We vibe so good We have a connection We have a connection Wait a minute Are you saying he's more chill When that's happening? I feel like he'd be He's like It's true

That's because I do it so much He'd be I get bored of him Dude I I sleepwalk And my craziest experience Was I've woken up Because I used to live in New York

I've woken up Curled up in a ball In the middle of snow Outside? Yeah Like I got out of my house I've woken up, curled up in a ball in the middle of snow. Outside? Yeah. Like I got out of my house. I've done that before as well. Not in snow,

but I've walked out of a hotel room and then had to go to reception to get the key. A new key. You were outside the hallway? Yeah. Oh, I've done that. I get woken up by the door.

I got woken up by the door kind of slamming itself. Right. And I was like. It was funny when X was screaming and running around the house this morning when I opened the door and he saw me he like

Snapped to he's like no, okay, man. I'm sorry. I'm sorry Winston What's it what's a night there is it like sleep prowess? No, I think walking but you're also in a nightmare So you are trying to escape something or 3d nightmare It's like 3D Nightmares It's like Firefly I would be scared If someone's having A night trailer around me

I'd still be like Fucking kill me or something It's like Minecraft But not on your sleep I'd be scared If someone's having A night trailer around me I'd be scared

They're gonna like Pick up a knife And try and kill me Because they think I'm the monster or something For sure If X was not 145 pounds soaking wet

I would be slightly scarier Like if Half Thor The Mountain Was in our house At Night Terrace I would leave I would leave the house He's like slamming on

your door. Show! In the dungeon! I've been locking my door nights that X sleeps here. Really? Because I think he's

going to come in and kill me. I have a genuine fear that he's going to But you wake up and you're alive and you're like oh we're chill. He's going to come in

and he's going to think I'm fucking diva and he's going to put a bullet through my head. This guy plays Overwatch. Yeah that was two Overwatch references I need another

You want me to do another? Yeah, go Go Quasar I already Tracer Oh We're having fun Yeah Nice

We're coming up Ask you guys a theory Okay Son, tell me your theory from last episode Oh, I would love to, Ludwig Guys, you know Dream Oh, dude He's your friend

I do know him Which is cool Or Quasar says that And I was I had this big theory Again I'm 32 years old I've watched like movies and stuff I'm pretty disconnected

From a lot of this But I do love video games Anyway Did Dream face reveal At this certain particular point in time In order to get TwitchCon strange To get what? Strange?

In order to get TwitchCon strange. To get what? Strange? In order to get TwitchCon strange. To get what? Strange? Coochie. Strange. What does that mean? Coochie. Talking like.

Oh, some. That's strange. Oh, I think. Get that TC hit. Hey. Hey, yeah. If anyone knew about it the most, it would probably be George. Wait, because you're the one who we wanted the strange from?

Because my theory is that he won't go to TwitchCon the strange But he's like if he goes and no one knows he looks like he's just some guy right yeah I'm gonna be a nobody right he wants to get that Wait so I spend the whole podcast making fun of him for this dog shit theory fun of him for this dog shit theory you really made fun of me you freaked out no no no the Valspachian views of the yard do not reflect Slime's thoughts and I said Dream just wanted to meet his fans but then George Not Found best friend of Dream goes

nah he wanted that strange shit now you right I'm not saying that wasn't why he did it but it might not have been I will say I don't know what goes on inside his brain I can expose now his brain I can expose now Whoa

That No I can This guy's funny I miss Do we miss the episode man He's funny Thank you so much I fucking hate him

What's up We're talking about Glasses over there Okay Alright What about me Yeah Come on

Four eyes butterball Over there Don't call me butter. Come on. Four eyes, butterball over there. Don't call me butterball. Come on. I like butterball. You know how I feel about butterball. I don't like that. Butterball really took the first spin right there.

No, but we were, our hotel rooms were right next to each other. Like we, we had the hotel rooms that the doors open to each other. Did you hear any strings going on?

And listen, I'm hearing mic, I'm hearing mic, I'm eating noises. Some fall damage What did you hear? What did you hear Going on inside his room? It was funny

Skara went on a podcast Do you know who Skara is? Yeah Okay Skara This was also like I would say I saw this clip

About 14 hours After it actually happened It was They were quick with it They were quick There was. They were quick. There was a quick turnaround. Scarra brings up, because Scarra was the one next to Dream, and we were all hanging out together.

It wasn't just me in my room, Dream in his room. And apparently at one point, Scarra heard on the top of his lungs, I'm gay! Whoa. Yeah. And I can't confirm or deny who that was. Interesting. I know who that was. There were a lot of people

The time I was there Carl was there I was there You guys dream Can't claim to be gay When you've kissed less men than me You've not kissed more men than me Carl's been kissing men like

Left, right, and center Yeah First of all Wait First of all What if we got an exclusive kiss right now Maybe click Maybe click

Face up heart I said You're playing normal I said what if we just go An exclusive Carl Ludwig kiss No He wants that so bad What's up with you I want front row seats Maybe you click FazeUpHart. I said, what if we just go on exclusive? Oh, Ludwig Kiss. He wants that so bad. What's up with you?

I want front row seats. You want front row seats? You want to see it? No, I'm just trying to do what the viewers want. What do you guys call them? The Yarders? The Yardigans. Yardigans?

I like that. The Backyardigans. We call ours the Banter Brofists. The Bent-Overs. The Banter Brofists. Maybe the Banter Bazingas. We're still working on it. Yeah both of them are keep working on Shopper myself so ideas guy go. What do you call the banter fans?

Okay now I can see I can see the genius of the group and it all localized right here. It's like bro banter. Is bro-ness a part of your guys' sort of... We have a very good bro audience. I'd say we're all a bunch of alphas just talking. What is your breakdown? What do you mean? We're about 92% male.

We can leak it right now Wait 92% That's about us I just don't believe that It's cause it's not true It actually makes sense What is it We're looking at 65 35 female to male

My god Wait more 65 female Yeah Too many British 80% British Oh my god. Sounds about right. Ooh. Wait, more? 65 female? Yeah. No way! Too many British. Looking at 80%.

80%? I don't really feel comfortable with that. How many percent are British? There should be a separate category for British women. 18. 18. British women. They're just tree people.

Like Ents? I think I missed something. What happened? This is making fun of British people. What do you think about that? Why would we do that? I don't see why. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. They're just they're just tree people But I think I missed something what happened in front of British people

Yeah, I do that. I don't see what's so funny about us. Why do you call football? What do you don't even use your feet? I know I have nightmares That was an American defending Why do you call it football? Like they really do use their feet in football Why do you call it football? It pisses me off. People do use their feet in football. It's on the main appendage. You run constantly in football.

You play the whole sport on foot. Everyone who plays has feet. In actual football, you use your feet not only to move, but to play. It's also illegal to use your hands. Why do they call it illegal to use your hands ball? I'm just saying this is the American way you guys do this shit in there half. What's up? I don't want to hear this level of joke in our house Sorry, genuinely trying to workshop.

A diva? Dude. Now we're talking. Now we're talking. What are you most proud of, of being British? What do you know? What do you care about the most? I'm not very patriotic.

I know Americans are. But you guys do eat beans for breakfast, right? You do have a big museum. I feel like Americans, most of us, at least me and Carl, aren't patriotic until some British person says some stupid shit. It's honestly just British Americans. I've seen a million Americans. You guys love America for whatever reason. We are very nationalist. UK is trending that way as well. You're out of your mind.

To be fair, the whole world is bullying them. Right now. The British people are okay to make fun of me. So they need to defend themselves. I mean, Liz Trust did just do tax cuts in like their most highest inflation biggest economic struggle you would agree with that I think this is that she on my crap I don't understand what a daddy what's up she's a baddie no no yeah my attention gone rest in peace

alright did you cry when the queen died? I didn't. I was shocked. Did anyone in your family cry? I don't think so. Interesting. Not that I cared. But what's interesting, I remember people,

there was like law online. They're like, yeah, the queen's gonna die soon. And then I woke up the next day, looked at my phone, queen's dead. I was like, no way. They predicted it.

That's crazy. Queen SMP. They've been predicting it every day for like the past like five years she wasn't 96 no she was on her way I get a big one zero zero yeah it is crazy she's dead ass 99 hmm no she was 96 I thought she was I think it a Betty white mmm yeah yeah I just don't die at 99't want to make it to 100 at least. But to be fair, once you're that old, I feel like you're just like, what's the point? You just say some shit that's like bad. Wait, when you're that old, you just lie about your birth certificate. You ever seen the Wikipedia pages and they're born like 1894 to like 1890?

Like they don't know. Yeah, there was no records. But we have good records now. Nah, you just move to a different country and be like, man. Just lie. Yeah, just lie. When you're 90, people will believe, or they think you're senile. Yeah, and just move to a different country and be like, man, just lie. When you're 90, people will believe, or they think you're senile.

Yeah, and they don't care about you. At what age is it like, I might as well be dead now? 22. What do you got? The big 3-0, I think. That's when it's like, alright, send off. Yeah, I mean, I did that with my hair. But how old are you again? 32.

How's the feeling up there? It sucks because this conversation happens all the time We should mix cyanide and all the Bosley It's crazy because it doesn't get old either I meet somebody 10 years younger than me And I'm like, oh Jesus Christ I will say that I think people say The 30s are the best years of their life

Yeah, people are coping The 20s were the best years of my life Now I have to go to the doctor more you were so out of code I've never had a colonoscopy you just get one I had you guys want to know yard episode where you get a colonoscopy I already I already surprised this episode yesterday with us I said we should all three of us got colonoscopy together wait this is a great idea oh wait what's I was thinking the fungible hospital is different than your prostate.

Yeah, prostate exam is the finger. Colonoscopy is like you're asleep. It's a camera. It's the finger. Okay, you meant prostate. I mean just the finger. Have you done a prostate exam? No, I had the doctor touch my butthole because it bled once.

You don't. You're just plugging it. It wouldn't stop. Why was it bleeding? Anal fissure. So, yeah, it was an Anal fissure. So yeah, it was an anal fissure in college. I had such a bad diet that I took such a large, big, hard poop that it ripped my butt. That happened when I went vegan.

What were you eating? Like paper. I was eating Eggo waffles, Pop-Tarts, mostly breakfast processed food. But when you started the bad diet, what was it? I'm sorry to say, that's what did it. Metal glass critters, bones. That and two two Domino's pizzas

for six dollars across the street oh my god that's fucked that's fucked up it was crazy in America Domino's is cheap

in the UK it's expensive we'll pay for a pizza it'll be like thirty dollars is it shit or is it

no they look at it like a delicacy like people like it'll be like well dressed people like whatever right Domino's

all the pizza brands like Domino's pizza I'm not just giving out free promo here so let's head into It'll be like well-dressed people like Pizza brands like Domino's Pizza. I'm not just giving a free promo head zone one and get us some Domino's Pepperoni today All of the kind of known pizza brands They're expensive if you want like a a five ten dollar pizza you have to just go to some random place on it We're so good at scamming. Oh, yeah, we just came to shit out you guys for that. That's awesome They made KFC like the national dish for Christmas in Japan. Yeah, how the fuck do they get away with that? Like that shit other currently cuz the colonels got good Great team to do that the word on the street is that KFC is way better everywhere else though

I also heard that the colonel did a face reveal right before Twitchcon The Colonel's been getting strange Kentucky Fried Strange I told you I could make them disappear The banter boys. Yeah, they're gone now. You're right. That was so good You're like Chris Angel. All I had to to do was show them my cock and ball. Yeah, but Jizz Angel. Anyway, this segment is brought to you by HelloFresh.

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He eats it like a cat. Yeah. It's actually the most renewable way to recycle cardboard. Zipper actually eats all the all the Zipper eats all the ingredients and then poops out the finished meal. Yeah.

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65% off and free shipping and let's bring Carl Jacobs back. Okay. Ready? Well let's summon only him.

Let's summon. Let's summon. I'll summon him with Jacobs back. Okay, ready? Let's summon him. But only him. Let's summon all of George. I'll summon him with our chant. Ha, ha, hoo, hoo, hoo. Pussy arrived. Because we were talking about the front yard. Oh, you weren't here for this. No, I listened to the episode, though. Did you like it?

I listened on the plane and I was like, fuck, he's funny. This is bad. This is bad for slime. Yeah. I'm going to get replaced. Slime stalls. They offered. They were so down.

It's time I say it on stream. On stream, I was going to say. Please, yeah, hit offered. They were so down. It's time I say it on stream. On stream, I was gonna say. Please, yeah, hit me. They offered me to replace you. Okay. And what'd you say to that in the boardroom? I said, no thanks. I don't want to do that to my pal Slime.

Wow. That means a lot. And it's cool to know who my real ones are. Wait, why are you giggling? What's up? I'm not. What the fuck is this? No, no, you got it on the wrong side.

I can see your mouth. You're smiling. No, no, no. God damn it. I can see your mouth. You're smiling. God damn it. Actually, I'm just looking at this. You got a whiteboard with no time. Does that say TwitchCon Strange on it? Those are the topics from the last episode.

You reused the TwitchCon Strange. It's just when I pitched the idea, but you guys are closer to dream. And presumably the Strange that he got. Well, now we have some inside men, so we're getting closer to the real truth. The Strange that ensued. Yeah. The Strange that occurred. Did you like TwitchCon? Inside man, so we're getting closer to the strange that ensued Strange that occurred did you like it's which con I I personally had a good experience at which con Well, you guys fucking rolled around with six security guards at all times like that. Nobody fucked with you You guys looked like LeBron James walking to his game. I like touch one although

There was problem. I'll say the general consensus is TwitchCon was fun. Twitch's infrastructure was trash. Yeah, I mean, I think, like, I actually had a good time, except the actual kind of scheduled stuff I did. Most of the time had problems. Do you know what's funny? boycott twitch but it was all minecraft uh fans who were upset about how like the dream panel went because it went so dog shit and then like a few other like um uh when ames these pronouns were were she's misgendered or they were misgendered or he was misgendered any any i'm using all of them oh okay i'm collecting the bag filling connecting the box uh and then uh

they were saying boycott twitch but it feels like it would only hurt Minecrafters. Because like XQC's viewers are not boycotting. And there was no goal for the boycott. So it was just like if anyone was participating in that, it would just hurt the bottom line for a lot of the Minecrafters and not Twitch as a whole. They can take a hit. They've had it good enough. You guys have had it pretty good. George loves money. I'll tell you, he does not want to take a hit.

He's like, who doesn't? I didn't get paid for TwitchCon. You didn't get a dollar? No. Yeah, you went for free? I paid to go. Bro, what? Did you pay for your own hotel?

They didn't even pay for your hotel. They didn't even offer to pay for it. Bro, Twitch is like Babytron. He's just some fucking dude. I'm gonna use this as a clip. Here, Ludwig says it's embarrassing. No, no, no, no, no. It's embarrassing from you.

Oh. That you accepted that. Okay, well it it's embarrassing from you. Oh that you Was also embarrassing from twitch they that bit Way to write him for all his work. Like why don't you say something? Well, I this will happen I asked my which guy I was like, um, can I get a hotel because I don't have one right now and he goes Yeah, sure. Here's the link you get get the hotel I was a link to buy the hotel Special link because I guess not you can't just book at that hotel I guess so it was a special link and I had to like put a password in and everything that was so sweet of him

Yeah, and I was like okay Maybe it's just in case there's like incidentals or whatever. But then no, I show up and it took like $2,000 or whatever it was from my card. I'll tell you this. Do you pay? I paid for my hotel.

I didn't pay for my hotel. I requested that they paid for my travel and they denied it. Did you pay? I didn't pay for anything. I didn't pay for, Twitch didn't pay for my travel.

Twitch didn't pay for his travel. They paid for his hotel. Okay. They paid for my hotel. George decided to go a little bit later than everybody else. And then because of that, they argued that like... I wasn't sure if I could go because my visa scenario hadn't been finalized. Are you on an O1?

Yeah. You're so talented. I know. I'm just an extraordinary alien. Extraordinary, yeah. But, yeah. So, my guy asked me, he was like, oh, do you want to come? Maybe if I said yes at that moment, they would have paid.

Next time, just say yes and then get the hotel and then flake. That's what you should do. That's what I would have done. Well, regardless, it's what Pucky did. Too sick, but still did it. Yeah. She is so sick, dude. She is.

Love that. So sick. Did you guys, who did you guys meet for the first time at TwitchCon that was like kind of hype for you? Me, Dream. Ludwig. No, you're lying. That was the first time at TwitchCon that was like kind of hype for you dream? Ludwig no Our meeting was so underwhelming We just hugged and then you disappeared for five hours and then I saw you at the club that night

And then you were getting a lit who were those three women He does have all three of them. I can't believe you said that. They're too young. We need to relax. He's astonishing that Ludwig gave him that layout. Ludwig calls Paloma tonight. He's like, you didn't even tell me you went. Fan art, by the way, of all the people who've been to the yard,

that was my mom. That was your mom in the middle? Yeah. Oh, because she had the shades on. That was me right behind her. Just fucking drilling. mom that was your mom in the middle yeah all the time and none of you could please my mother you know it's crazy That's a great stream idea. That's a great stream idea. Take the top 100 streamers and see. We've already got a few practice runs in. That's a great stream. A fucking great stream idea, George, is going live.

Okay, first of all. I'll host it. I'll host that stream. It's like a new, like, mogul money live. I'm just fucking loving it. The version of me behind her in that fan art is her

phone wallpaper. I swear, I'm imagining this image is so I'd be laughing right now if it wasn't true. I'm going to slap

the shit out of you on the banter podcast. Stay tuned. Stay tuned in case it happens. T minus 20 to a big slap. So you guys

just do the podcast you don't have a Patreon yet do you no not yet are you gonna bite our shit part for part yeah are you gonna no I

and you know I'm going to yes that's why I'm I'm gotching right now um are you gonna pull off your ant I called you no no we're gonna make a good podcast one

two I'm down wait wait wait, wait. I'm down. I'm down. Damn. He's so into that. He's like, we can run that a few times.

We can pick the best one. Fuck Hassan. I've been on Fear Inn three times and both or two of the three times. My audio was just. It's so disgusting that you're on. Who produces that? It's God bless his heart. March.

Oh, from 100 Thieves X? X, 100 Thieves Employee, yeah. Yeah. Who shows up, I think... Hey, stick to the camera. I'm okay. I love that guy. I think he shows up on a dime

because the song's like, we've got to record today at 11, and it's like 10.45, and then March for Grudges, and he's like, okay. Then he comes over, and then it starts at like noon 30. Just realized I didn't get to do

my grape and love for these two. Yeah, we did kind of steam over that. You also didn't get to do my grape and love for these two. Yeah, we did kind of steam over that. You also didn't get yours for Garmon. I feel like I didn't get a lot of love. Let's get back to that. No one asked. Do you call him Nick or Sapnap? I don't care.

Your name's actually Nick? I like to call him Nick. I thought it was new Nick. He's in my area, right again. I like to call him Nick just for this episode, bro. His name wasn't Nick. I thought it was new Nick because he's in my area where I sit. I divided and he was funny. His name's Nick.

I just believed him. I just believed my new friend. We'll just call you Envy SSBM. That's fine. Okay, cool. Yep, love it. All right, Sab.

This is my gripe about Carl. I've told him this gripe. It'll be like at the end of the night, everyone's ready to go and then Carl decides to get real social with everyone. Like right when we're trying to leave, he runs around.

I'm going to go get my rounds and then say goodbye. I'm like, come on, Carl, just go. I'm at peace. You're going to be like the dad who like, you know,

friends sleep over trying to pick up your kid. And then you sit there for fucking an hour and a half talking to other parents. No, that is him. That's him. No, I make my rounds. And actually take it back.

I take it back. It's not even, if he was doing his rounds, it's more fair. Cause I'm okay with that. But a lot of times he'll be No, that is him. That's him. No, I make my rounds when I depart. I take it back. If he was doing his rounds, it's more fair because I'm okay with that. But a lot of times he'll be like, okay, okay, and then he'll go have

a whole new conversation with someone. You'll have an intimate conversation. Yeah, like he starts a new conversation. Because connecting with people is important. I'm part of the route.

I'm team Carl. I'm team Carl. Thank you. You know what? The two gripes that we've gotten, by the way, is I'm too nice to my friends

and I try to work. Yeah. You work too hard to care too much. you work too hard to care too much. You work too hard to care too much. You're on too early. Are you an Irish goodbye guy? He is. No, no, I'm a

say goodbye, hug, and then dip. Do you say do-do to everybody? Not like everybody in the fucking audience. I'm like an extended cut Director's edition It depends like if it was here I'd say goodbye to everyone But like I'll say goodbye to everyone at like

The 100th Eve party He's saying goodbye to everyone there When are we streaming together soon What should we do next in starting a whole thing before you leave I mean it's not So you came up to me once and you had a secret idea that you wanted to work on With me that I still want to do right how many little secret ideas you have with the other people in your rounds I don't he does

He's trying to say your special does Or as important as the idea that you two have to be fair we have a killer idea We do That is crazy I've heard that I've never seen it before. I hate it. Did you know it was from Bart? Yeah. No, you didn't. Bart Sampson. Yeah, I've heard that. That's from Bart Sampson.

I have no emotional connection to that because I never watched it. I just learned about it in my 20s. Lisa Simpson over here. This is mom and dad's fault. This is mom and dad's fault. They didn't let me watch it. They didn't stifle him. I'll tell you what I like about you, Carl.

Thank you. I think you are a good friend, like a genuinely good friend. What does that mean? Like you're a good friend to people. George, why are you laughing so much? I'm defensive. You guys are fucked up. You guys are all fucked up.

What does that mean? To be a good friend. That's such a lame. It's different being friends with someone. It's a quality to be a good friend. Okay, honestly, is George a good friend? No. Fuck no.

I had a double ear infection and my, like, my eardrums ruptured, both of them, and he wouldn't let me stay at his apartment. What? When I was in London, my couch's ears were bleeding.

Dude. He's gone. Just stay in the hotel. You're rich. Come on. It wasn't, it wasn't, it wasn't.

It was. No, it wasn't, it wasn't. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I got, I got something. It wasn't stay in a hotel. We were't It wasn't No no no no I got stuck It wasn't stay in a hotel We were renting an Airbnb together

And then the Airbnb Failed I couldn't go home I was like Oh can I just stay with you And he said no Why did you do that? Yeah

Were you super serious About the number Or were you like no shot Like there's no universe You're saying I don't remember Yeah he was Wow

I didn't think it was a big deal I don't want to go with that The reason we had the Airbnb Is because I didn't want to stay In my apartment Because it's so small And I didn't There it was a big deal. How long ago was that? The reason we had the Airbnb is because I didn't want to stay in my apartment because it's so small. And I didn't, there's not space for two people to live there. You have two rooms.

I have one room. No, you have two rooms. One room is just full of trash. Yeah. There's no, there's no trash. Rubbish. That's the streamer.

And it's just because the bin is full. Of course. Question. Well, I guess this is more so my barometer of what makes a good friend. And it's if a friend were to ask you to take them to the airport and if you would do that act. I picked him up from the airport.

Did he? I picked him for his fucking like vlog. He vlogged. If you're filming it, don't film it. You did film it. You didn't post it. But we didn't use it. Oh, okay.

All right. I picked you up. Those are two wildly different things. We didn't film it and then we didn't post it. Okay. All right Those are two wildly different things And then we didn't post it. Those are two completely true. Everyone is flawed. This is beautiful To be clear you just the two flaws that they gave me again. I feel like those are good for too much love too hard Yeah, fuck you good. Yeah, it's my turn. All right He paid me from the Apple and we did use it So well, okay is for his so you guys only he picked me up from the airport and we did use it. So... Well, for his thing, not for mine.

So apparently you guys only pick each other up from the airport when it's a vlog moment. He knows I wanted to pick him up from the airport. There's only been two moments where we've even had an option to pick each other up from the airport. But you know that even before, like, you knew... I don't know, I was always like, I'm picking him up from the airport. Alright, George, rank yourself a scale of 1 to 10 how good of a friend you are. Yeah, I'd like to be honest. And don't say you're gonna fuck my mom after. An 8? An 8?! You didn't let him stay on your fucking couch! How good of a friend you are? Yeah, I'd like to be honest And be honest? And don't say you're gonna fuck my mom after

In 8? In 8? You didn't let her stay on your fucking couch! Carl's almost unbiased It was nice of you, you had a better experience You wouldn't like the couch I was doing you a favor I was bored

Carl, don't lean on this fucking couch Carl, you say your ics and your loves and then rate George as a friend Okay And then rate me as a friend Okay And. Rate me as a friend. Okay. And then also, how big's your cock? Yeah. We do have to get to that. We've been wondering that.

His mom's been wondering. Oh, my. Never gotten a complaint. Don't make a face like fucking. Hey, it's like me and Missionary. We're the same. I feel like you've gotten a complaint. That's.

Never gotten a complaint. It's a bad habit. Yeah, it's a bad habit. Like, you don't just get complaints. Even if your dick is small. Also, my mom. Oh, you never got one. I thought you were like, I never gotten a complaint. Something bad happened. Yeah, something bad happened. Like, you don't just get complaints. Even if your dick is small. Also, my mom. Oh, you never got one. I thought you were like, I never heard a complaint.

Yo, Tiki's too small. I don't understand. Why do you say penis in French? Comment dit-on? Bises. Bises. Bises. Bises.

Bises. Bises. Bises. Bises. Bises. Bises. Bises. Bises.

Bises. Bises. Bises. Bises. Bises. Bises. Bises. Bises.

Bises. Bises. Bises. Bises. Bises. Bises. Bises. Bises.

Bises. Bises. Bises. Bises. Bises. Bises. Bises. Bises.

Bises. Bises. Bises. Bises. Bises. Bises. Bises. Bises.

Bises. Bises. Bises. Bises. Bises. Bises. Bises. Bises.

Bises. Bises. Bises. Bises. Bises. Bises. Bises. Bises. Bises. Bises. Bises. Bises. Bises. B've been stepping on you. Tell us your things. Lil Bro, do your thing. Okay, I'm going to start with George because it actually connects with his. He was saying his gripe for me is that I always want to try to stream at the end of the day. Mine's the opposite. My gripe for him is that we'll start the day

No, we'll end the day and be like, alright, we couldn't get any streams done today. Tomorrow, let's do a stream train and let's record a banter episode. And then we'll wake up day, be like, all right, we couldn't get any streams done today. Tomorrow, let's do a stream train and let's record a banter episode. Right. And then we'll wake up. He's like, oh, she can't be off right now. And then we'll be hanging out.

So I'm like sitting there ready to go the entire day, trying to set something up, trying to set something up, trying to set something up. And then at the end of the day, he's like, why don't you ever just want to hang out? So he'll like lead me on. Like he'll like bloop all me about making content. I've been there for that too You have been grinding in real life I've been putting in work

What does that mean to them, you think? It means in real life he's been doing the work as opposed to online where he wouldn't They've got a lot of time built up I will say, since I've been in America we've been grinding A compliment to George And specifically not Soundnap, just to be clear A compliment to George is when he joined banter compliment to George. And specifically not SamNap. Just to be clear. A compliment to George is when he joined banter, I was like, we're never gonna upload

again. I spearhead banter. And he has done, even though just, wait, he's trying to compliment me. I try. I'm telling you right now. He does spearhead banter. Whoa! My turn! Now he wants the floor.

I want it Take it I've said He spearheads banter George has done a really good job on banter George has done a really good job George is not George is not George is not the bottleneck of banter

He is Which is where I get to my next gripe Oh no Sapnap and I started banter And I was like The bottleneck is getting guests every started banter. And I was like, the bottleneck is getting guests every week. This is impossible. And I was like, we're not going to do guests anymore. And then it was tough to film.

Turned out maybe we needed a third person. Added George. And then every week, it's, yo, you guys ready? No. I don't want to. I'm tired. Let him have his time. It's like mafia.

I don't want to do it at nighttime. And then I'm like,, in a moment. Let him have his time. It's like mafia, you gotta- I don't wanna do it at night time. And then I'm like, okay, we'll do it during the day. He's like, no. I wanna play this Valorant match first. Actually based. Relatable. I'm with you now.

Rank check? Alright. He is somewhat true. Rank check, rank check first, please. What's rank check? Rank check. Oh, rank check. Oh, Valorant?

Oh, Immortal. Oh, shit. My bitch. That's impressive. My bitch maybe deserves some time off. Why are you pushing him so hard? Try to go pro in this motherfucker. Bro, we're talking about power week. Yeah, we're talking about Immortal, bro. Yeah, he's talking about tapping heads, so I don't know what the fuck your problem is.

All right, go on. I will say that a lot of my gripes with what he said are true. He'll be like, at the end of the day, I've been up all day. When I was in North Carolina, I was working out, so I'd be like, at the end of the day, I've been up all day. I was in, when I was in North Carolina, I was like working out. So I'd be like actually like tired at the end of the day. And like, I'm like on my computer

watching anime. Like I'm like, all right, after this episode, I'm going to sleep. Ring, ring. Let's record banter right now.

I'm like, Oh, is there more planning? There is more planning. And then, and then he'll be like, okay, let's do it tomorrow at one.

I wake up at one. These motherfuckers are nowhere to be seen. I disagree. Dude, George is not found. That one is fucking, that one is fucking, that one is fucking, These motherfuckers are nowhere to be seen. I disagree Someone won't be there Alright, or they'll be like, okay. We need to record it. We have to record it today because it has to come out tomorrow We don't have like this

Poor editor don't have like this poor editor yeah who's your editor no whenever it's also Archie we do know him he's a good lad I would think loves tea that it's difficult to do your podcast because it sounds like you have three Ludwigs that is is so fucking cursed. And this is the Ludwig that just wants to play Valorant every day. And then this is evil Ludwig. These are all the wolves inside you.

And then this is just tall, masculine, attractive. Wow. Ludwig that wants to smooch a lot of boys. Yeah, this is Ludwig if you want to kiss guys. Wait, what's George?

What element of him is evil Ludwig? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Evil Ludwig's gone now. We need some evil Ludwig fan art. I think that would look cool. I used to be evil Ludwig Oh yeah Yeah Evil Ludwig's gone now We need some evil Ludwig fan I think that would look cool I used to be evil Ludwig

Back in the day You get him drunk And well I will say The Australian's boy I was gonna say George reminds me of his Josh Yeah yeah

He's definitely got Josh energy Josh Peck Josh Peck Josh Peck In Mean Creek Oh I love how he gets references I love how he gets references. I love how he gets references.

And you do too. I'm not saying you don't. I'm talking about these two guys. Shut up. I have a question to ask the three of you. And drunk does not count. Have any of you

seen each other cry? Cry? I don't think so. This is the problem. Well, I've never seen you cry I've heard you cry I do feel like we're bad at like telling each other

how we actually feel we just make fun of each other we're not like that we don't cry you're at the high school relationship level where it's all bits all bants

a couple slaps whoa deep name all bants change up I haven't seen I haven't seen Nick cry I realized I've seen you cry and I've seen you cry I haven't seen Nick cry, I realized. We made that happen.

I've seen you cry and I've seen you cry. I've held Aiden while he cried. Jesus Christ. I held Simon while he cried. That's true. Have you guys seen me cry? I've seen you cry. I thought that was happiness.

Also, I feel like we haven't, like to see each other cry, you have to be with each other. True, yeah, you guys are separate. I think it is tougher when you don't live together. Yeah, we haven't let alone lived together, we haven't been in the same country. I just play. You guys are separate. Yeah, I think it is tougher when you don't live together. Yeah. We don't, like, we haven't let alone live together. We haven't been in the same country. I just play with Aiden on Pearl.

He fucking cries every time. He does fucking. Dude, if he's past his bedtime, he's crying. What are you supposed to do? What are you supposed to do on B-Long right now? This is literally, like, our second time meeting.

Oh, shit. Yeah, but now we live together for, like, two days. When I say second time, I'm not, like, second day, but, like, we've had two interactions. In person. Two in-person sessions.

How do you like living together so far? We got to live together for, like, three days. We've had two in-person sessions. How do you like living together so far? We got to live together for like three days. No impressions yet? It's you two in Dream, right? Have you seen Dream cry? I haven't seen his face until fucking two days ago. I have known that he is crying, but I haven't seen him cry.

Because you said, El Bozo, get over it. I was like, bro, quit being a pussy. And then Q pops and you're like- Because you said elbows, oh, get over it. I was like, bro, quit being a pussy. Come on now. And then Q pops and you're like, ah. So you've known Dream for like way longer, right? Okay, I didn't know that. So you knew what he like looked like, which is actually arcane knowledge, you know, for a lot of people. I didn't know that.

That's pretty cool. Me, Dream, and Santa all knew each other before we did content. Okay, okay. Oh, really? I've known Dream since I was like 10 years old. That wasn't Kat. Oh, shit. No, you're lying to me.

You saw it once. No. I don't think it's even weird. I think- Well, because it was before you guys were doing content that you didn't see his face. Was there ever a reason or was there just no- No, I feel like there's a lot of-

I had a lot of online friends. And by default, you just don't see their face. Yeah. I don't even think it's like- It's not even unusual I don't think We all have a friend Callahan We've never even heard his voice

Yep Or seen his face Or seen his face It's not even weird to me Watch it I've heard his voice Once Do you ever wonder if Callahan

Is like four rats in a trench coat Or just like Multiple people on one account It could be Crazy George is such a dick to Callahan You could also be George on an alt Just trying to fuck with you guys

that'd be crazy dude I will be honest I've thought through in my head like how possible that would be logistically

for George being Callahan or Dream being Callahan or Bad Boy Halo being Callahan all combination of us all being Callahan it's like all of us are Callahan

we all have access to the camera is Callahan in this room with us right now I didn't like how there's a lot of Callahan in all of us George did say I've heard Callahan's voice which is? There's a lot of Callahan in all of us. George did say,

I've heard Callahan's voice, which is like outing himself as the Callahan. Well, I've heard his voice. That's imposter talk. Who's the Callahan? There's a Callahan among us. I used to play competitive Mario Kart

and there were kids who weren't allowed to mic on Skype and they could only communicate like in tournament matches using the pings with the phone keys. And yeah, yeah, it's insane. I think his parents didn't allow him to talk at first. I think now, obviously, I think he can, but he just doesn't because he's been doing it

for like a decade now. People just get used to it. Yeah. You've known a guy for 10 years and you've never heard his voice. I don't even think it's that weird, though. I don't think it's that weird either. That's the thing. It's a little weird when you hear the voice

a little but at this point it's not even weird to us yeah it's not weird to us that's what I'm more of man it's not weird to us but like if you like told some like dude

like in the renaissance period or something about this yeah like someone like 30 34 well they literally had no idea of that how are you talking

to this guy without talking and how do you know? Nobody looks like I've written my friend in the Great Britain He's a pen pal Yeah, I met a friend on instant delivery pen call hands like a bottle. He's like rhythm bought in our discord Yeah, oh

Are you no yeah, it's probably in there Oh you want to be in our discord Do you guys check your messages do you guys can you guys get replies from each other? If you message each other? We can. Yeah, we can. Dream and Clackity are both terrible. I see. Oh, God. If you need information,

you want them to show up somewhere, whatever, it's just like... We just have to trick them into thinking that it's important for them, and then they message us. Do you guys have different levels of priority like we do? Because every day,

we're using Discord, Slack, and texting using discord slack and texting so it's and depending on the type of message we send to each other there's like a different likelihood of it being read i would say texting is more priority discord is like probably leave do we use anything discord's like get to it get to it today i was texting okay here we go lowest is discord then texting texting, then calling. Yeah. Calling is like, someone better be fucking dying. No, I think it's done.

I call it. That's a lot coming from you, where you're calling me in the middle of the day to go, all right, man, all right, man. Do that. One more. I've done that two times, and I needed to say that. Yeah. It was important.

I call Carl when I'm bored, like when I'm just driving my car. I'll just call him. I can tell it's about to be one of those calls because I'll click answer and you just hear That's cute you guys are a good friend this is so complex not being a good friend He's just bored and needs content. Well you do that to me. We we I see us we call each other That you call each other just when we're bored. We do content. You guys can't admit that you love each other. You can't do it. Say you love him if you mean it.

Say it. He can't say it. He actually can't say it. It's like impossible. He's Josh. No, Josh wouldn't say it. Why are you writhing in your own seat right now? Do you not mean it?

I don't know if I can say it. That's so cool. Do you love him? I'm not going to say it if he's not going to say it. You guys do. You guys need to say it. You guys do. That is how we are. We're always fighting. We express without the need for it to be returned.

Not for me. No. Carl, you didn't say your nice thing about these two, by the way. Yeah, that's true. I did say my nice thing. You shat on me and then left me. I will say...

You're really great at spearheading content whenever you are excited about it. I think that's what it is. You're actually a pretty good leader in that regard. You are. And I didn't expect it. God damn it. Don't look at the camera.

He's Dawson, too. He's Dawson. He's Harvey. He's actually so good. And Sapnap, I'd say... I'd say Sapnap is like... And this might sound like your compliment to me, but it's not. It's different. I'd say Sapnap is like and this might sound like your compliment to me but it's not it's different

I'd say Sapnap is actually like a ride or die friend I'd say like if I was in trouble you're a road dog I don't know what that means dude no way I do like that shit

that's so good you guys are a fucking brain rotting. If I beef with somebody, then I would just know that Sabanam's not gonna fuck with them either. Ever again. Oh, that's fine.

He gets in a fight, you get in a fight. Yeah, that's a tax. We've already agreed to that. It's a tax, we call it. It's a tax. It's a tax you gotta fight. If you died,

he wouldn't be at your funeral because he'd be in jail for murdering the guy who killed you. Probably. Send us to all seven of your best friends. I'd stand by that. I wouldn't be in jail. he'd be in jail for murdering the guy who killed you. Probably. Mm-hmm. Send us to all seven of your best friends. I'd stand by that. I mean, I wouldn't be in jail. I'd be on the run.

But yeah, same. You wouldn't get caught. Hm? You wouldn't get caught. No. So in your fantasy of yourself, you're so goaded that you can kill someone and get away with it. I never said I was getting away with it. I'm gonna be on the run. Like, they know I killed them. They figured it out.

He'll be on a lam for life. Yeah. And he'll never be able to hold down a lover. I'm just somewhere in like fucking some other country. Where'd the lover come from? and he'll reunite with George years later oh let's go to New Hampshire we'll find him just to slap the shit out of him if you think about it if you kill someone like why don't like how are they gonna find you just go to some random fucking we were talking about this do

you actually think the thoughts that you think let's say I kill someone it's good and I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I go to Carl's house. He's not gonna I just like kill him in his sleep Bro I put a mattress down they don't hear the fuck I kill him in his sleep Dude he poisons him what the fuck you doing

It doesn't matter You're a noob killer If you wanted to kill someone You're trash don't try it You guys couldn't even fucking be hitman Okay but look Assuming you kill someone and no one heard it It takes like a few days even like a week for them to figure out that they're dead

You can like You can like You can like You can like that the day you can like I've talked about this you go to another country Yeah, random country and you you you withdraw all your cash. This is a fun Withdraw money Yeah, I mean they're gonna find out that you did it because they're gonna see like they're probably they're just gonna discover with forensics Yeah, also with your pattern of behavior They're just gonna discover with forensics and also with your pattern of behavior To right that's like that's record

Where they won't extra you this is it's so easy. It's so easy You get in the car you just drive like all the way down like somewhere Let's make a make a pack your seventy wheel car is gonna be on the person each and see who can last longer That's a great stream. That's a great stream. He'll Carl like a mr. Beast video Then we upload it. Oh Take the death You know taking the rapper yeah, yeah with the race music. Yeah, he did do that shit for sure Okay was like yeah, I killed a guy and this is a song about it

and also I'm running. And he was caught for running. You guys are not finding me right now because of music video to prove that I'm not your favorite. You're so wrong that someone as famous as Tay-K had time to film an entire music video in the in-between.

And he was in America. He wasn't in some other country. And bro looked like he brought the whole like squadron Local police station after this is filmed and drop a horrible example. It was arrested Yeah, but the music but. But he did the music video. But it took a while. It took a while. I think he was in America. He was making music videos.

I'm going to some random fucking country. I think you eventually get caught. The police are not quick, but they are usually. They're pretty lasting. So you're telling me if I get a boat and just go into the middle of the fucking ocean. You'll eventually come to land and then you'll. Well, you could go to a country where they don't care about you. There's no extradition and you just live in Colombia forever.

Edward Snowden has been in Russia for like fucking a decade now. He's been in Russia for a decade? Edward Snowden. He's like prolific. That's different. Dude, he's... The Russian government's protecting him. Yeah, but they wouldn't...

They wouldn't protect fucking Sassonat because he was under Rolando. They would never extradite an American to help the American justice system. I'll tell you this. Sound up to massive Russia fan. He has Pusin posters. How many rubles you got right now? The rubles are great right now. It's doing good.

He's buying them while they're low. All right. I have a final. We're wrapped up this section of the yard podcast, I have a final... We're wrapped up this section of the Yard podcast. I have a final question for you guys. We ask this to every guest that we have. There's only been one person that's declined to answer, which you're free to do.

I feel like that might be me. I don't know what the question is, though. Shut the fuck up. The question is... He's 47. I've seen the birth certificate. The question is, what downstairs is going on in terms of your foreskin Are you cut or are you uncut George, I'll go first

I was right, I don't think I can answer this You're uncut I like the mystique You're European, you're uncut But who knows This is good because MrBe Beast also didn't answer. So we call this, we take the most educated guess. It's 1-1, a wash, if you will, for each team.

I agree. Oh, that's good. Yeah. I like that. Because Mr. Beast definitely cut. He's from North Carolina. He gets cut. But he actually can't be cut in the UK.

They use an axe. Yeah, Lumberjack does it. If I were to guess, I'd guess George is cut. I don't have to guess He hasn't seen anything are you saying you weren't hard you were in place you haven't seen anything yet Did you answer? I already answered last time I was on here. Yeah.

Oh, right. For the new viewers. What'd you say? I'll let you go first. What'd you say? Did I answer? I really did. For the new viewers.

I feel weird being the only one that's answering. What are you using my cheat sheet or something? What do you mean? I'm going to answer. I'm going to answer. No, I just want to know what you're... I won't know it. I'll go around.

What did you get on the test set? Uncut. Uncut. Okay. And I forget what Carl said. Good for you guys. What are you? Is this podcast on Carl? I'm not answeringut. And I forget what Carl said. Good for you guys. What are you? I'm not answering until I...

Because I want to know. I'm genuinely curious. Once he tells me how to answer... I'm uncut, gang. For better or for worse. You're uncut? I'm uncut, gang. Oh, you're uncut, gang.

Okay. Represent. You gotta be cut. I'm cut, gang, I guess. I didn't get an option. We're still up by a lot. Assuming uncut, gang, we're splitting the room in half again. Yeah, that is true.

But also, we don't know, right? There's only one person who knows. Who? God. My mom. What a great way to end. Thank you so much for watching the Art Podcast, Ex-Fancer. We got him right at the end.

Oh my god, look at that clean-ass nae-nae. Oh my goodness. That shit clean ass nay nay oh my goodness that shit is ass usually saves that I was entranced alright guys I'll catch you I'll catch you on banter

we gotta end so we can stop alright see you on the on the more cringe less cool podcast wait can we put on the C9 game on the TV

no