The Yard - Ep. 68 - We broke into his house to record this... (ft. Atrioc)

Episode Date: October 26, 2022

This week, the boys break into Atrioc's house! The boys talk about Slime's beef with Atrioc, how Ludwig met Atrioc, and the evilest thing Atrioc has ever done.

Didn't see you there. You might be wondering what we're doing in Atriox's house. Well, we wanted to have him on the podcast, but we also think that we need to keep him down as much as we can. So we broke into his home. He has no idea that we're here right now. We set up in the back for the yard, and we are going to scare the shit out of him.

I've also taken a dump in his toilet and not flushed. So see you soon. Oh! That is a lot of Rogaine. Move out. What are you doing? Come on, let's go pets. Oh, you want pets? Wow, motherfucker! What the fuck! I'm gonna hurt you! I'm gonna bite you off!

Stop! Ah! So, uh, you ready to record the pod? Uh, yeah, I guess. Yeah, let's go. We gotta set up. Fucking finally. Huh? Finally broke into your house and scared the shit out of you? Well, not that. Finally... Finally got to visit the place. Fucking finally. Huh? Finally broke into your house and scared the shit out of you? Well, not that.

Finally. Finally got to visit the place. Fucking finally. What is it? Why are you so pissy? The people have been asking. Why are you being so pissy? Who's been asking?

No one's been asking. Everyone's been asking, dude. The phones have been off the hook. Do you think when people write a paragraph of all your nicknames in our YouTube comments, do you like when that happens? Because I think it's really cool. We look so effortlessly cool. I think that sucks too. You're talking to the wrong guy.

Do you think that's our favorite bit? Do you think that we're like, those are the ones we like? I'm just saying there's fans everywhere doing stupid shit. You can't blame me for the paragraph, Andy. Do you like your fans? Every one of them. Speaking to the microphone, by the way, like it's your stand-up set that you never did.

Every single one of them. I don't have an unwritten stand-up set. What do you got there, Ludd? Did you do stand-up? You're doing the stand-up circuit? Munchy bears. You got a little taco? But it would be way more politically motivated.

You were watching ASL in green rooms 10 years ago? Practicing my stand-up? Yeah. Yeah, man. Are you proud of yourself? Why are you talking to him so viciously? I'm not being vicious. Hold on.

We don't get to break into his home and then just mercilessly talk. We broke into my home. Oh, we do. Yeah, go ahead and explain. You broke into my home. That's right. I showed up. I pet my dog.

I'm in a great mood. Just did a double date with Link is we played mini golf. I was riding high like perfect Sunday guy from Zelda. Yeah. The guy

and like from the I walked down my hall. I'm fucking dead. Dead eyes. I can't believe

this will all be the intro of this, but I can't do we literally like I'm like slime. Make sure he turns the corner before you scare him. This will all be the intro of this. But I can't fucking do it. We literally like, I'm like, slime, make sure he turns the corner before you scare him.

And he's like, okay, got it. And then you come and he just, he turns into the hallway to look at you. I swung too early.

He always swings too early. I swung too early. This is always his problem. You peaked. You peaked. You over peaked, bro. The face that Acherok made

is something I will never forget. And I wish I didn't fuck it up. I thought a home invader was in my fucking house. My instant gun reaction was like, God damn, I must have left the door unlocked and this guy's here to fucking kill me. Were you ready to defend your home?

I'll have to check the video, but I was definitely in between me and Ari and him, So I would have... You grab Ari and throw her in front? Dude. If the light had stayed off, we might have caused a very early divorce.

Oh, dude, it would have been like that. Like landslide? Yeah, the landslide snow clip where the dad runs away. Uh, no. Of course I would have defended my house and my family, okay? You wouldn't have done shit, bro. I think he would have fucked up slime. I think I would have fought if it was just slime.

We were talking about how the episode would be infinitely better if he had a black eye. Yeah, like you just fucking swung on me. Why didn't you swing on me? Well, I figured I was you. You're not a fighter. You thought it was over? No, I figured out it was him. It's not that hard to figure out. No, you didn't you swing on me? Well, I figured I was you. You're not a fighter. You thought it was over? No, I figured I was him. It's not that hard to figure out. No, you didn't.

But punch me. Okay, what if, because I was, I fucked it. Listeners, audio listeners, you're going to have a black eye within this fucking episode. We were setting up and I was like, what if I got a balaclava? Like, I fucked up. You know what that is, right? It's a ski mask. And it's like, and for Ron, I was thinking

like, how many times have people actually skied in this? CS go terrorist. Yeah, but I was thinking like, dude, that might get him to hit me. Yeah. Yeah. If I can't see your face. He was trying to find ways to make this a real home invasion. If you want him to hit you, he might do it. Yeah, you want me to hit you, I'll do it. You want me to clock, you want to get a clock

in? Just for, cause causing you some stress? We'll see. Are you high stress right now? Look at your tummy. Little tum-tum. Dude, I feel like your stress faded away too fast. I think you're too ready to die. No, it's still...

I have my friends, ostensibly. It's my fucking friends. I'm going to be on edge still. When Ludwig came out. He's on edge. You know when I'm going to be on edge? Is when I come home in like two weeks and I just think, what if? You hear like a little sound?

Yeah. Like, are these guys doing it again? The real problem is when the actual home invasion happens and you're just like. Why? Why? You got the ski mask on and you're like. Oh, you bought the ski mask. You bought the ski mask.

We're going to escalate every Sunday for the next month. And then the fifth week, it's a real invasion. Boy, who cried wolf your ass? We're gonna say you got diamonds here. There's like career killers, like, why is he being so friendly? I've never seen a man so ready. Scare him off.

He was dabbling me up. I was taking his TV. When Muddley came up behind you. Yeah, sorry, go ahead. Welcome back to the yard, episode 68. We're in the 60s. We're close to 69. You Yeah, sorry. Welcome back to the yard. Episode 68. We're in the 60s. We're close to 69. You were almost 69.

68 fucking episodes. Daylight and a dollar short as always. How long you guys know Anthony Padilla really? What'd you say to me? I think we're great buds. You talking to him?

Are you mad that you didn't go on before Anthony Padilla? It's just weird. It's just odd. You know, I wanted to be one of the early ones. Stop doing that. Why'd you want to be

an early one? Because it's underground still. It's just odd. I wanted to be one of the early ones. Stop doing that. Why do you want to be an early one? Because it's underground still. Before you guys are doing all your recycled bits. Underground, bro? Yeah, I don't put you underground. Yeah, the Smosh guy. The real underground shit. Now you got all the big guests.

I wanted to be their after-staffer. No, this is the point. We got all the big guests. We're moving on to the... Now we're going to be sloshing the dirt in the bones. You know how when you start medical school,

they learn all about the niche, rare, cool diseases first for the first year. And then you get around to the... The cancers. You start learning about

Simplex B. What's that? Oh, it's what you have? What's that? Herpes. Yeah, herpes in your face a little bit. No, I don't, it's what you have? What's that? Herpes. You have herpes on your face a little bit. You're a little herpy boy. No, I don't.

I'm not a herpy boy. My little kitten has herpes. You're not a little herpy boy compared to you, by the way. What do you mean compared to me? I'm not little compared to you. If I was a herpy boy, I'd be a bigger herpy boy than you. That's for sure. This is not a herpy competition.

Here they go. To be clear, I'm not flexing that you're a bigger herpes boy. Yeah, you're implying that you'd be a better herpy boy than me. I'm saying I'm a bigger human than you. Andrew, I'd be the bigger herpy boy. I'm herpes fully loaded. You do a good stance. I'll give you that.

If stances were off, you could... I'll get right in there. We could do the bits easy, dude. Oh, man. You know, I have always said, I've literally said this verbatim, and I mean it too. If any of us fucking kicked the bucket, Atrioc would be the one I would want to replace. I think you're an excellent podcast.

Don't touch me. I think you're an excellent podcaster. And I think what I really appreciate in general is your energy all the time, like when you hang out at the house. You're just like a little bouncy guy. Just a little bouncy guy. You're going to give him fucking emotional whiplash

the way you treat him. Oh, dude, that's how he- that's his life. Did you suddenly hit him with the sweet after just trying to mug him? Yeah, but then he tried to touch me and I said, Know your fucking place. You know? I keep it. You just caressed his face, he tried to kiss you back, and you told him to fuck off. You're just fucking imbalanced.

What are you talking about? Don't point to your head like you have something I don't. You should have seen us. Before you came, we were just sitting in your stream chair all doing our own impression of you. Yeah. We were tag teaming like what you were like. No, listen. Morbius? Morbius is fucking funny. I'm not going to watch combat footage, Slime.

I'm talking about Morbius, okay? Boys, boys. Bit of a shmalligation. Just of a shmalligation. Just a little shmalligation. Nothing to get crazy about with this guy. Marketing, marketing, no. My personality, it's all that. It's just all marketing.

I'm not cringe. I'm not cringe. You guys gotta stop saying that. You guys gotta stop saying I'm cringe. I'm not a coffee cow. I'm not a coffee cow, okay? I don't even drink coffee. And I had a moment where I thought about it.

I'm like, we've broken into his home. We've scared his dog. And we've done impressions of him while he can't defend himself. We are too comfortable in your life. But here you are giggling like a little chode. I don't know chodes to giggle that much. What am I supposed to do?

I think it's the only way to be. I think I have to roll with it. Don't tell us how you handled it well. Yeah, don't tell us how you feel. That's weird. I think you handled it great. Let us say that. I think that's on the money.

Kudos to you, because I will say we didn't. Because there are outtakes where I walked in the house and they all ran away. We thought it was new. Zipper, zipper,

look, bless zipper, zipper heart made of metal and steel, but he was like, oh my God, they're here. He said it in a zip noise.

Someone pulled into your driveway. So we were like, oh, they're here. So we like ran. I think they were just turning around, but we didn't have time to check that fact.

So we just all ran and hid. Two times. Two times we got false alarmed. First time was me walking in. Second time was my Uber order. Yeah, but that was fucked up. He was walking around like he didn't give a shit.

That's what pissed me off. He's like, oh, we got two minutes? All right, because Ari's like sending me updates. By the way, the double date

with your friend Linkus, whoever that is, the green guy from Zelda with the hat, that was all staged. They did not want to hang out with you. Yeah, we actually

made them hang out with you. I've been talking to Ari about this for like a month. He's coming out of LA literally this week I think we had this idea Or Slime did like four months ago Yeah it's been a while

What is your obsession with me particularly I'd like to know It was Genesis Is it the Panda Express story Honestly You want to re-litigate this It's fucking insane I did have a question about this.

I did have a question about this. Was that the first time you met him? Was that your very first impression of Atriag? It was the first time they'd ever, like, interacted with me in public. I think, I didn't know. I didn't even meet him there. I didn't even know him.

No, that's not true. And you laughed in his face. You cocksucker. I didn't laugh in his mother's fucking face. And you did. I remember your scared child face when you're about to knock your wife.

Calm down. You need to calm down. Calm down with the Bob Ross energy drink. No, it's Bob Ross. Bob Ross. Bob Ross energy drink. Positive energy. 90 milligrams of Torin

the way you would a Ross drink. 100 cc calories. We're smoking on Bob. Smoking on Bob pack. Juvie could never. It's a gentle drink. What's your recollection from that day? That fateful day?

I 100% remember this guy's extremely sensitive about what I think was a really normal interaction. You laughed in my face with your friends. Respectfully. Oh my God. Yeah. I didn't let him off the fucking hook. Me, Ludwig Stans, going to dinner at like a steakhouse. The power trio.

We're going somewhere nice I don't even know you you do you piece of shit I was like who who is this fucking guy you fucking do know he shows up

asks for an autograph or something you watch slime on the scene oh my god I don't have a pen he has hair in this story I do not have a pen move on

he has hair in this story he has hair in this story you should be respecting me he's got hair like I've got hair at the end of the interaction after some yelled he pulled off and all his hair fell off in that moment that was the day he was walking away and he was ripping it out uh no legitimately we say uh we're gonna get food or whatever like oh you're gonna go to panda

and we laugh because we're on our way no you asked me where i was going because i was like oh i'm getting food too you want to come with us because me and nick gingling going because I was like, oh, I'm getting food too. You want to come with us? Because me and Nick Yingling. And then I was like, oh, I don't know, Panda. And you guys, without slowing down, without slowing down your stride, as if not to give me the time of day, keep walking. You hear Panda. You all turn. You, Ludwig, and Stance.

And Ludwig at this point is my roommate. Like, we live together. He has no reason to be acting like this to me, only because he's near... I thought it was hilarious. Shut the fuck up. He's near you two fucking chuckle fucks that he looks up to for some reason. You and Stance influence him,

and then you all look at me. We influence him? Shut the fuck up. And then you start laughing in my face as you walk away. Okay, so that's the only part that I disagree with. We were not walking away while laughing. We had a hearty chuckle, and then we said, we're going to a steakhouse, then we walked away. Okay, so that's the only part that I disagree with. We were not walking away while laughing. We had a hearty chuckle

and then we said, we're going to steakhouse, then we walked away. That's worse. No, it's a huge difference. No, well, because he's I am recalling this because it's obviously something I think about a lot. I feel like I'm recalling it correctly. It's like, the poor boy

is going to Pendle. Anthony was like, hey, do you guys want to go laser tag? And it's like, it's like the poor boys going to Pendle. Anthony, Anthony was like, hey, do you guys want to go laser tag? And it's like, we're going to a

party. Yeah. Yeah. That's actually a really good example. We were getting bitches and drinking booze.

There's nothing wrong with that. We already had plans. This is like, this is like the exact same scenarios. You know that scene in Project X where

they see Miles Teller's character at the liquor store and they're like, that's the cool guy from the college, that's the cool guy, and they try to start a conversation with him, and he's just like, yeah, yeah, I'm heading to a party right now, actually, so you guys are all Miles Teller in this situation.

I don't even know you. It's not like we're boys. You know me enough. By the way, you broke into my fucking house! Who cares? I went to a steakhouse instead of Panda. I'm rolling with it. Even. Well, I will say, I will say, slime gets a lot more hurt about the wrongs done to him as opposed to the wrongs he does to others. Slime shit is like, he'll be like, you called me a pussy! And it's like, no I didn't. And he's like, but you were thinking.

And then also, he's got a shirt with your face on that says pussy pussy pussy. Huge fucking pussy. And then his thing will be like- And he sells a hundred of them and goes to your dad and makes him wear one. The problem is, his whole thing- And it's like, bro, it's not the same. He'll play Melee against Aiden and be like, kill yourself in real life with a fucking gun. This whole story.

Put it in your mouth. And then Aiden will be like, you're honestly playing like a little lame. It'll be like, what the fuck did you say to me? This whole story. All the emotions connected to it. Oh, is that connecting? Oh, is that getting a little nod in there? That's reading true?

It would all be the same if instead of you guys laughing at him, you had just down smashed him three times in a friendly. Yes. And he'd still have the same emotional attachment

to the same. If we had down smashed him three times in the friendly then got up for the step and left. Did you guys invite him? No. That's the mistake.

That's what I'm saying. Upon recollection. To say we're doing a better thing and not invite him? No. That's the mistake. That's what I'm saying. Upon recollection. To say we're doing a better thing and not inviting him is crazy. You walked away as if,

Jesus Christ, I can't believe you said that. We're gonna go fuck girls. I think the interaction from my perspective was, Jesus fucking Christ,

I can't believe you said that. And then we went to fuck some girls. Yeah. It was really tight. Yeah. And you weren't hot enough to fuck the girls at the time. I had hair.

You were at a normal set of girls. You're where H-Truck is now. So this all happened, and that pissed me off. But I think what pissed me off more is the fact that Ludwig liked you guys so much. And I saw you as literally people, you and Stan specifically, because you come in a pack of gum. You know what I'm saying?

That you guys are just people who have, you went through school and you got like fucking your Norc, I called you the Norcal boomers. They hung on the quad. They were barely friends in college too. I don't care. Until like the last year, right? But what I'm saying is,

And Breslin didn't fuck with them. Breslin never fucked with you guys, bro and Breslin didn't fuck with him Breslin of course he didn't fuck with you you guys are pussies Breslin never fucked with you guys they all

are trying to gaslight me into thinking they went to ASU what are you talking about gaslighting Breslin Breslin is someone

who died who went to ASU with him that's what he's talking about Breslin also sold gas you know what I'm saying I actually think

of the three humans on Earth who couldn't get into ASU, it's you three. Me. You think I could get into ASU? Fork him right now. Fork him right now. I don't know if I do my asters there.

I mean, you could do something. I didn't know. So I always saw you guys as like, you literally have everything, and it's annoying. And I've long since as like, you literally have everything. And it's annoying. And I've long since been like, you know what? Maybe they just worked hard for what they had. But I considered you guys with so much pompous ego for who you were.

Do you ever think that maybe that's you projecting a lot? Of course. What I'm saying is now I look back and I'm like I thought you were a cool guy that made Smash Bros I was like

sure was I was sure was hard on those guys in the way I thought about them you did call him NorCal Boomers constantly

constantly you know Stan is like from Yuma in like this all right town and he's like turned to be like this vegetarian

sweet liberal libtard who does esports stuff that's the open that's what I have to call him so there was a chip on my shoulder for a long time he is sweet liberal libtard who does esports. That's the open. That's what I have to call him.

So there was a chip on my shoulder for a long time. He is sweet. Definitely libtard though. Can't deny that. I don't remember meeting you. So that's my contribution. Also the Twitch con maybe? What was it? We did Jeopardy.

That pissed me off too. Because Ludwig gave you guys points. Wait, was it the TwitchCon where you thought you were getting big dogs? That's the first time I feel like I interacted with you. Like actually

run bits and hang out. I don't even remember before that. I don't think we talked about this too much, but it was Ludwig ran Twitch Jeopardy. He ran it with me and Nick on one team

and ChuckleFox on the other one. They were the first time three time, by the way. First time, three time, baby. I do like how you remember that. They were electric. They were not electric because they're not by the way. First time three time, baby. I do like how you remember that. They were electric. They were not electric

because they're not funny at that point in their life. That was like the most, that was like the most mad, we already told this story, that was like the most mad I've ever seen Ludwig Anthony.

He said, he said, get the fuck back in there, get the fuck back on the computer, I do not give a shit. Because we were playing a fucking stupid game for no money.

Yeah. And we're just entertaining the chat and having to get time. It's never about money. And then there was one technicality and you lost. You were going to quit the show. I can't. No.

What was the technicality? The questions are like, what do adults like? And the answer was vacations. No, it wasn't. It was more specific. I'm saying that is Twitch Jeopardy as a whole. Like it had flawed questions, but you drew the line as if there was actual. Like a sacred fucking ritual.

No, you were literally asking questions like, when did the Legend of Zelda come out in fucking 1986? Like, that was a question. I remember because I got it right. It didn't come out in 86, you're wrong about that. Did Legend of Zelda NES? It did not come out in 86. Wait, bet. 50 bucks. 50 bucks. 50 bones. When did the Legend of Zelda come out, Siri,

you bitch? In Japan, in Japan. You don't gotta talk to her like that. She has some self-respect. I do like that. Don't call her that. Don't do it. Don't call her that. Don't say that.

Legend of Zelda is a 1986 action RPG. What the fuck do you want from it? No, I will not count that. That's when it comes out. It is 86 in Japan. It is 86 in Japan. It's 86 in Japan. Kill me. That's a clean 50.

I just knew. Anyway. I think you've always been resentful of how I have liked Atrioc. And I like Atrioc for two reasons. Tell me now. Big dick. Speak to that. Do I like how you fuck me?

I don't know. I've never fucked you. Big dick. Speak to that. Do I like how you fuck me? I don't know. I've never fucked you. I just think you like... What is how he fucks you? You like to cut in my jib. So then there's a period of our friendship where you show me your cock a lot. Maybe.

Just once. And you saw it and you were impressed. And he thought to himself, this is the reason why. I'll come clean. One of two. I'll come clean. There's three things on the list.

The balls. It's shaft and balls. First thing I liked is on my ranking of people who I like playing melee with, Aatrox is number one. That is bar none, and that's because he always keeps it lighthearted, and he will double or nothing until I break even.

Back when he was broke, I would throw until he got his money back. Well, he didn't throw. I did. I was so rich, but back then he was broke as shit. He never threw. I definitely threw. You just doubled or nothing until I did. That was so rich, but back then he was a booby shit. He never threw. I definitely threw. He didn't throw. You just doubled it off until I won.

You were down $700. You didn't throw. I swear to God. Okay, so we're in the fucking corner of Big House. The one we all stayed at. Yeah, yeah. Remember that? We're in the corner of the venue.

Me and Nick teamed. We were doing $50 money matches. I was like, damn, this guy, this kid's got no money, and he's fucking playing for $50. This kid. Because he was. Yeah. I had him for the reads. I was rolling in it. Yeah, I had him for the reads. I was rolling in it.

Yeah, he was heading for the reads and at one point he was down $700 and I was like, I'm the asshole here. You can actually calculate by how much

he was willing to lose how much your friendship was worth to him at the time. Yeah, because he was still playing. He wanted to be your friend so bad that he was down

to lose all of his money. Well, I was also trying to win it back. Yeah, so I definitely threw. I threw a couple. That was probably the only time I ever threw. Well, I was also trying to win it back. Yeah, so I definitely threw. I threw a couple. That was probably the only time I ever threw. I did, 100%.

Okay, man. You know what was weird? No, Fox did. That was the first time I met you for real, like that tournament. Yeah. And one of the first, like first time you talked to me,

you walked up to me and said, hey, I'm Ludwig. What's your net worth of all your assets minus liabilities? This is legitimate. This is legitimate. When was this? First question he ever asked me was, what is your yard? This is at Big House.

This is at Big House, yeah. Yeah, and he didn't answer it, Pussy. I didn't know you. I like direct questions. It was weird. And I was curious because he was adjacent to the smash scene how much money he was worth. I was broke.

I wanted to know. Have you ever asked anyone that question point blank? That used to be my opener. Now it's, what's your vice? This is actually so funny. I just remembered when I was broke. I wanted to know. Have you ever asked anyone that question point blank? That used to be my opener. Now it's what's your vice? This is actually so I just remembered when I met you. Fago. You remember that? Yeah. Big house. The whole weekend we were talking about Fago. Never heard of that. For a while

I thought he was going to be one of those guys that we only have one joke. So every time I see you we're going to do a Fago bit. I'm glad we squashed it. Can I say I stopped talking to people who only have one joke a day. Yeah, me too. It makes me so upset. Yeah.

Have you guys ever thought about this? Yeah. When you know someone and they always bring up the same joke every time you talk to them? Yeah.

I honestly like having connective tissue with people I don't see a lot. If I like, I like them, you know? I will, I will, I will stop talking to them. Yeah, I thought it was

going to kill our friendship. For years, that was me and Yingling. When I met you. Really? Yeah, Yingling would be like, remember when you lassoed me at that one tournament? And I'd be like, you lassoed me. He one tournament I asked you this like pretty much the same question he asked you but a little different

I was like so how much a video stock you got? I said how much twitch stock you got yeah, and and you look to me and you were like Let's just say I can afford a house And I was like No what i don't know i didn't know you probably i remember much better when i first when i first had a real conversation with you you told me about how you were like going to do a real job and you were worried about it and then you like drove to the parking lot oh yeah my crisis and you were like fuck this and you turn around and didn't do it and i was like this, this guy's cool. Like, it inspired me a little.

Would you say that having shame is a good connective thing for people? Do you think I have no shame? Is that what you're getting at? No, I'm just trying to prove it's scary. I think Stance is you if you had no shame. I've thought about it before. So Stance has shame and he doesn't. No, no, no.

He has shame, but Stance is what happens if H-Rock has no shame. You think Stance is shameless? I feel like Stance has more shame than any man alive. No way. I don't think so. What? I think Stance is deeply burdened with shame. I think Stans is shameless? I feel like Stans has more shame than any man alive. I don't think so. What? I think Stans is deeply burdened with shame.

I think Nick makes very definitive statements about people he barely knows. That is slime. That's me. You're getting the character wrong. I don't barely know Stans. I don't think he knows Stans very well.

He knows him well enough to be him in social situations. He has the best stance. That is true. He's characterizing. Stan's knocks over a huge pot of beans in the middle of your home. He just laughs. He feels a little bad.

You don't know Stan's at all, bro. You don't know Stan's at all. Stan's is like, Stan's, if he's at a dinner and lovingly... This is why slime is better than you, because he'll be like, all right. And he'll accept being wrong. Oh, me? Yeah. Yeah.

He'll accept being wrong. He'll accept being wrong? I am right? Yeah. Yeah. He'll accept being wrong. He'll accept being wrong? I am right. Doctor. No, doctor. Yeah, I'll do it. I just so strongly believe I'm right. I just know you're wrong, bro. If we're at a dinner and Ludwig's being

slightly too loud, Dan's a white knuckle. He feels shame for me. He feels ancillary. Oh, I believe that. That's different in my head. I just shit in your mouth. White knuckle grip the table. I hear shit in your mouth. I realized this when we went on the Vegas trip together because I made that joke about, you know how when you go to fancy restaurants,

there's like a guy who like gives you a towel in the bathroom. I made a joke about, I made a joke about that guy pissing in my mouth at the table. It does. It's, it's, it's. When do you get funny? What happens? I don't remember this. my mouth at the table. Oh my gosh. It stint. When do you get funny? What happened? I don't remember this.

You guys, that was a long time ago too. It stint. Like, it was like, clearly so like, he thought it was funny but he was clearly so embarrassed

that I had said this out loud. This is definitely true. I definitely see that. But to me, it's like more like consideration and less shame. I guess that's still shame.

He's got shame for days, bro. I guess you've never been in a situation where he would spill beans in your house. He doesn't love you like that. Have you seen Stanzas pee pee? I have not seen Stanzas cock and balls. I can't believe he's your best man. I know. You've seen my cock.

You're a disgusting guy. Have I? I think you've seen my balls. I think I've seen your balls I don't think I've seen this yeah I'll tell you what you're not missing much you're not starts and ends at the know you cried at your wedding we all connected to you more that day yeah we all respect yeah we're talking about how we sob like who we've seen cry we're talking about that like lastly we had more famous guests than you on right I remembered that I was like 40 weeks straight I didn't think you're gonna cry your wedding you think I was that. I was like 40 weeks straight. I didn't think you were going to cry at your wedding. You didn't think I was going to cry?

I thought you were going to be like, oh, fuck it, we're married. She fucking cries and then I do like a little bit. You're like just a bobblehead of a man. Well, I guess we're doing this. Well, wife. That's pretty good. Me and Anthony have been connecting on doing a you impression

For a long time You would drive to work It would just be me and Nick doing A-Truck and Stans get pulled over by the cops I've been doing this longer than we've known Aiden It used to be bad Well geez A-Truck just do what he says They've gotten better

You just said Nick's was good Yeah but their bit is the same It's a fundamental difference. You guys haven't changed. Well, I wouldn't have changed. You can check me, but I wouldn't wreck me. I'm not going to wreck you. The thing is, that only happens when they hang out with each other or we're all hanging out.

And then it feeds off itself like a human centipede. 100%. When's the first time you met At-Triac, Eamon? I have known A-Triac longer than all of you. Yeah, because he fed you underage alcohol. No, that's not what happened. That's not what happened. I don't know anything about this, but he has told me a story.

He did not get his butt pregnant. A-Triac used to go to parties at Smash places and then feed minors alcohol. This is not true. He did do this. He did do this. He did do this. Do not even say this in a joke. This is what Marketing Monday used to be. I think it's very important to say that that is the version that I like to joke about with

Devin Atrioc. Which is not a funny joke for me. Because it's funny to me. It's not at all funny to me. It was funny to me that you got his butt pregnant. Now he's pregnant. Get his butt pregnant, obviously. The Atrioc underage penis It was funny to me that you got his butt pregnant and now he's pregnant with his butt. His butt pregnant, obviously.

The Atrioc underage penis party? I remember that. The first time I met Atrioc was at Evo 2015 and I was 18 years old and I went by myself.

That's young. Just to, you know, How old are you? 33 at that time. Are you 18 or are you like your birthday's in a week? 33 at that time Are you 18? Are you like your birthday is in a week? You're like 24

Be careful bro You're like 24 Barely legal Wait you were 24? You already know? I'm 25 I'm 31 So 6 years ago

You were 20 I'm 18 I just forgot you were younger than me at one point Kind of blew my mind for a second It's like when you see your t-shirt outside of school. I knew of you because I think you had been doing the training sessions with Taffo by that point. Zero to hero. Yeah, so that's how I knew about you.

It's like one of the Twitch melee people. And then I... Plus, some crazy fan account called me the most handsome smasher. Top 10 most handsome smashers. You put him in there? You know who's number one? Who's number one? No, no, no. You never met me. No handsome smasher. Top ten most handsome smashers. You put him in there? You know who's number one? You put him in there? No, it's not. You know who's number one?

Westpaw. No, it's me. Different list. He did it again. He's done it a couple times. What a clout goblin. Hey, we can play more money matches soon. Those were fun. That was before this. Hey, Shrock, love to follow your path.

They're great. Love to do it. And then you're like, years later, yeah, I believe in you in the H-Rock way. My dad died when I was young and I look up to male role models. You caught me, guys. I'm going to frame that and put it in my fucking house. You fucking should. It's a great tweet.

I'll tell you what, it felt great when we did an Esportsman-like conduct podcast and I told him how much I made and it was more than him. Let's go. That felt great. That was a good day. Bro, I remember hanging out with Stans whenever you were still a small streamer, but you were growing. And I'd worked at Twitch, so I know the numbers and how exponential it gets.

I was like, Stans, he's going to make more than us. Don't lie. Atrioc, and I'm going to say this on the record. Say this on the record, because you're fucking dumb and wrong. You said, the dumbest thing you ever said to me, you said, you'll never get past 2K subs. I've literally never said that. He said it would be really hard to get past that. Do you know what I said?

I'll give you the honest truth for the pod. You had a little fucking list of your goals, right? One of his goals was 2,000 subs. And I knew he was a good streamer, but I also know that it can sometimes take a while. So I said, if you don't get 2Kk this year don't quit. That's what I said He thought I was like it's really hard. I don't think you'll hit it Stands and back me up shameful stands would back me up

I hate this shit. Which one you saw the the fucking truth? The hand of God. The hand of God? Paul Nathan Stantz. Here we go. The judge, the jury, the executioner. Here's the line I told Stantz. I said, not only is he going to make more than us individually, he's going to make more than us combined. He's going to do a what up. What up, gamer?

To replace the best in the world, you say what up. Daniel! How you doing, brother? I always say what up, dude. That's my thing. I love your consistency. Oh dude that's my thing I love your consistency that's my thing I got two questions for you first do you consider yourself to be someone who has shame uh yeah of course and second question second question uh do you remember that story about H-Rock involving me in 2000 subs could you tell it from your own recollection? Yeah, yeah. So, I'm worried that maybe over the years, like, some of the mythos has gone into my head.

And so, I'm going to tell it as I recall, and that's the Atriox said, you should quit streaming right now because you will never, for a day, have more than 2,000 subs

and in fact I don't even want to see your face in this all right Stan's is funny Stan's is funny I appreciate that

fuck you Stan's all right you're funny that shit something like that right yeah something like that you have a wonderful

rest of your night man you too peace care dude you're a piece of shit man that's my best yeah it is

you fucked up how you told him that. I forgot I said that. That's what he said to me. And so, boy, does it feel good to rub it in now. That's why I fucking made a 100 Thieves PowerPoint for you when you had 300 viewers. That was sweet. What? I was trying to get on

100 Thieves as a 300 viewer. That's why I made him this little PowerPoint. It's like, hi, I'm Ludwig. You're 100 Thieves. You made him a pitch deck? Yeah. Wow. It was a really good deck, I think. Yeah. It's like, hi, I'm Ludwig. You're 100 Thieves. You made him a pitch deck? Yeah. Wow. It was a really good deck, I think. Yeah.

It was like, you know, my viewers are low, but it's growing. It's the motion of the ocean. It would have been the ultimate get, dude. If they had listened to the deck. There was one creator at that time, only one, who saw me that early, who was willing to take a chance. And it was a little after that. It was closer to like 1K, 2K, but it was Faze Banks.

Banks. Faze Banks actually farms content. He got his finger on the pulse. He does. Yeah. Just like you had your finger on the pulse of Eamon's pregnant butt. That's true. I want to hear the rest of that. Let's, uh, let's, let's, yeah, tell the truth. I walked into my hotel room alone. He was in there for

some reason with a large bottle of vodka and started pouring and said, let's get this done. Every single person has decided that my character is not worth the story. And I'm recently 18. Supple. Very supple. Still supple. You weren't that supple.

You weren't that supple. I was cute. You're kind of a freaky game robot. I was cute. You were a worn out 18. No. You were supple. I was cute. You're kind of a freaky game robot. I was cute. You were a worn out 18. No. Yeah. You were beat.

That's my standards. You were beat. Wait, how did you really meet him? What actually happened is I went to Evo that year by myself, but at 18. Loser. And I was hanging out with a group of people, and we went up to a hotel room where a group of people were hanging out during badge checkout

and people in the room were already drinking. Yeah, it was live. It was D1, zero. This is not a funny line of good. And then I,

I just walked in and I like, I I grabbed the bottle of vodka and poured myself a drink because I was already drinking at 18. Uh-huh. Got me. You're Canadian. And then you just didn't know that I'm underage,

and also you didn't give me a drink. Did you guys talk? I don't remember him being underage. Did you guys talk? We talked. I don't think so. Maybe we said hi. No, yeah.

We talked for a little bit, but then I left pretty soon after. But that was the so. Maybe we said hi. No, yeah. We talked for like a little bit, but then I like left pretty soon after. But that was the very first time I met you. And then I think the main thing that happened after that was it was kind of the beginning of like a summer of tournaments that year. And then I would see you at like HTC Throwdown and like all these other things

that like a bunch of people went to. So I would just meet you in large gatherings over and over. And I don't think I really like, I don't think I really got to know you up until like the year ish like leading up to moving in with them and after moving in with them yeah but that was like how how we met the first time because after that i remember it was all every time i would see you at the at an event i would just like say hi did you uh did you i saw on stream you were talking about how you think Aiden is effortlessly cool. I do. I watched that

furious. I'll pass the torch if he's down to take it. I'm so sick of it. It was more Atriox. I knew you were sick of it. I've never liked it. That's what I was saying. Everyone was like, you're being a fucking hater. I was like, dude, I just don't think they think it's that funny. No, we don't.

We've literally talked about how it's not funny multiple times. Yeah. And how we don't understand why you guys like it so much, so you cringe. Also to Patreon. It was a clip where you talked about how just cool Aiden is in all social situations and stuff. And I was like, he's never taken your fucking tea, has he? He's never taken something from you and had no shame about it we're talking to people without shame

but what I'm saying is it's the same thing with stands it's like you just haven't experienced true amen what I want to say is I don't know if you're quarter life or whatever but I feel like the pissing on the wall

the blueberry mush the pissing on the wall, the blueberry mush, the fucking... The pissing joke? It's a cry for help. Yeah, it's a cry for help. I told you we're the same. I like you, man. I think he's like,

what's going on? And he's like, figuring out his place in the world. I love this pivot where it's like, you're like, when he was normal, he was great. And he's like,

when he was normal, he was taking my team. And now it's like, you're like, he's losing. He's pissing on the walls. It's like, yeah, we're in the same. Slime complains about you relentlessly. Slime complains about you relentlessly.

The more fucking off the wheels I go, the more he loves me. The more respect he gets. I think Slime's trying to shape you into that. It's more off the wheels, but also like the more you suffer, the more I connect to you. That is how I connect with people is through their suffering that they have. Because I suffer. By the way, this is a terrible interpretation of why I'm pissing on the floor. You're not suffering.

You think a suffering man does that? Because I think he does. I did an intervention for a friend in college. We drove to a different school and he was apparently drinking all the time he's completely obsessed yeah and one of the guys there was like on the other side he was like saying you're funnier when you're drunk he was like listen he's like i know i get i get we have to do this but like he actually is pretty fun that guy's me yeah that's you right now i want wouldn't say that, but I would be mourning that

guy that he turns into. Silently. He's going to be a lot less fun. I'll be like, do we know that? Can I tell you what is the stickiest thing that I can think of right now? Cum. Is that? That was also going to be mine.

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Misconception. They don't go to sleep. They just get a little more tame. They just get a little high? Wait, so bees don't sleep. I'm actually a bee fact? Uh, yeah. Bees don't sleep.

They just cum. And the thing about honey is it's also really easy to use. It's the best way to save money on all bee cum products. Yeah, don't sleep on honey. You could buy other stuff, but it's like mainly for that. Yeah.

Hey, it's easy to use. You can install it if you just go to joinhoney.com forward slash the yard. But the problem is it costs how much again? Wait a minute, Ludwig. It doesn't cost shit. It's absolutely free. Just joinhoney.com slash the yard. Wow. You just install that shit. Put that in. Just join honey.com slash the yard. Wow.

Put that in. Put that out. Put that in your beehive and gel milk it. You've recently lost a lot of money in Las Vegas. You can still install the app. Yeah. All right, everyone. Goodbye.

Go back to the show now. Hi, Atrioc. Do you like people more slime off first impression if you know they have a dead parent? Do I like them more? No, I'm more open to them like if they're annoying they're still annoying but I'm like I'm not fans don't Killed my parents brothers Marshall clips are cool I killed my parents like the Menendez brothers. I'm here to talk to you and connect with you. Do you like me now? Are we more close? Also, your Marshall clips are cool.

Yeah. No, I give people a lot more leeway, but it's, you know, I'm still, I just, I don't know. It's not about me. It's about Atriac, our guest. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm.

What do you want to say to each of us? You just quit your job. I just, yeah, I did just quit my job. How do you feel about that? That's crazy. Uh. You quit it for a fake job. I can't believe you did it.

You've been fucking begging me to do it for two plus years, dude. You said you would do it for two plus years. That makes more sense why you wouldn't believe it. Yeah. Yeah, he didn't believe I'd do it. For two plus years, he was honeydicking me, telling me how he was going to quit. What were you doing before? What are you doing now?

I was at Nvidia. You know that. For me, what the fuck do you think your tag is asking? I was a regular marketing guy at Nvidia, and I was like doing real stuff. You know that. Fuck for me. What the fuck do you think your technique is asking? I was a regular marketing guy at NVIDIA and I was like doing real stuff. Like this guy? No.

Come on. You're no regular marketing guy. Let's go on. Marketing Mondays is no short one. I was like a nine to fiver, dude. I was like, you know, everyone's there

thinking up ideas. Button downs or shoots and we're talking and we're selling graphics cards. And now I am literally with this chuckle fuck trying to start a company called Offbrand. That's swag.

You guys are so fucking stupid, by the way. I love that. You didn't have Twitter? I love that. You're a fan of Twitter. We had a fan randomly make one. Shout out to AtRealOffbrand. He's been doing free work for three months, unknown to us. And crushing it. Stan was messaging me and he's like,

Twitter was the real deal. That's just the random guy who started doing it and like doing legit posts every day. I thought it was us for a month and a half. I find this out.

It makes me so mad. I find this out because I go to the off-brand Twitter, which I think is real, and I click on the profile picture and it's like super low

resolution. And I'm like, who made the Twitter? It's such a bad image. So I message Nick Allen and I'm like, hey, who runs your Twitter?

The graphics are all bad. I can like help them make them high quality. And he was like, well, you don't have a Twitter. I'm like, there's a Twitter right here. He's like, hey, who runs your Twitter? The graphics are all bad. I can help them make them high quality. And he was like, well, you don't have a Twitter. I'm like, there's a Twitter right here. He's like, yeah, that's a fan Twitter. I'm like, you're just going to leave it up?

He's like, it'd be so funny if it was just Anna and she wasn't telling you guys. It's not. It's definitely not. By the way, that's stupid. And they start saying, you know, Putin's on to something. Yeah, they could just literally like a new tweet tomorrow. I just don't think Alex Jones can pay that much. We'll roll with it.

They could just post like a shitting man. And then it's like, okay, do we work with Offbrand anymore? Because some executive sees a shitting man. Offbrand, dude. Offbrand account social media manager. If you're watching, post Blueberry Man. So we know you're listening. Yeah, we'll know if you're a real fan.

Can you explain to Slime the name Offbrand that you came up with? Yeah. Okay. What's my name? Adriel. My real name. Brandon.

Brand on. Brand off. Offbrand. Wait. That is such a lame story. You are so stupid. That's not it, really. It is.

I've heard this before. I mean, it's Offbrand because it actually makes sense for what we do as a company. No, it's a beautiful name, but the way you got there is why I hated you in 2018. It's why math teachers do what they do. I think I messaged him in 2018 because you were doing a tag review

for your fucking show. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I was like, I was thinking of changing my name to off-brand. I think it's good. Yeah, and you were like 10 out of 10. Yeah, I agree. It's a great name. But the fact that you got there, but just by modifying your own name that God gave you is cringe. It's fine. You're okay.

How God gave me marketing skills and the name Brandon. People get mad at me. They're like, why are you so fucking... It's different, I guess. Just built different. Why are you so miniaturized? And I'll be like, don't worry about it. You don't worry about it. You know, they get involved. They get involved. Despite not needing to What's the

What do you hate the most About your fans And what do you love about them Ooh the money What's your least And best thing Not about your fans But like

The most annoying thing They've done collectively And the best thing They've done collectively Is a better way to put it Oh I remember The most annoying thing They've done collectively

Was Actually this is not my fans This is Miskif's fans Oh yeah After the most annoying thing they could do collectively was, actually, this is not my fans. This is Miskiff's fans. Oh, yeah. After the EE thing, dude, they were emailing fucking NVIDIA. Like, every avenue, they were like, you've got to fire this guy. And it's like, they're not going to do that. But, like, I get a meeting, and it's like, hey, our social guy said we got, like, you

know, 200 DMs. Do you know what's going on? And I was like, yeah. But it's like, I don't want to have to explain that at work yeah wow

it's also like funny because it always comes from a community that's like fucking cancel culture bro so fucking gay and then they're

like can you please fire this man yeah it was wild it was just annoying daddy please

fire the nvidia man uh yeah yeah that was one of your Bad experiences That was like a bad experience

Was the internet in general I think every fanbase Has people that are like 2% cringe right 2% cringe people 2%? Whatever it is Like really

You know going too far I think it is Like 2% It's probably 2% But the thing is It's allowed 2% That's only 2% Because like 80% are lurkers

Yeah Yeah And so Of the vocal people Um Then you hit about 10. Yeah. Or whatever.

Of the vocal people. What's the maddest you've ever been at me? Ooh. It's hard. I'm a treat. No, I'm a treat. Nah, you're pretty good. I'm trying to think of whatever.

I'm with Delight. Fucking super mad at you. Oh, honestly, fucking Minecraft. Oh, dude. Another one stricken down by Minecraft? Yeah. I hate you, man. Legitimately, honestly, fucking Minecraft. Oh, dude. Another one stricken down by Minecraft? Yeah, dude, man. Legitimately, honestly, seriously mad at him, because it was a Minecraft game with four walls, right?

They're up. And you get to build your shit in the middle. It's called Four Walls. Four Walls. And then after 30 minutes, you build your little base, and the walls go down, and you fight. Oh, my God, I remember this. You remember this? Yeah. The walls come down. you fight. Oh my god, I remember this.

You remember this. Yeah. The walls come down. Nobody was streaming, just him. And you had fucking 120 viewers or some shit. Not a big deal. And we're fighting and I have worse armor or whatever. So I'm running away because I'm going to lose the fight.

Well, it gets down to a 1v1. Yeah. Like, Stans dies and they got beat Nick and it's just me and Aatrox and I'm just fucking... He's just decked out. Yeah. Like, Stans dies, and they get beat Nick, and it's just me and Aatrox, and I'm just fucking He's just decked out. Yeah, because the idea is that, like, you basically have a corner you have to farm in, and if you get lucky, you find really expensive stuff. And he found all of his expensive stuff, and no

one else found anything. And then I also beat people in fights, so I got their stuff. Yeah. He had all diamonds, impossible to lose. So I have one shot. I either run away and, like, find something, or I die. How long does this game take? I don't want to lose, because I'm a gamer. It's like 15 minutes of farming and the walls drop and then you play

until someone dies. It's like half an hour. I'm still running. Now it's been like 40 minutes. And he wants his viewers to have a better experience. So he's just fucking berating me. Like, you fucking stupid pussy. Just won't show up at it. And I am a gamer,

so I'm like, okay, but I'm not gonna go and die. So I keep running, and I'm starting to get really annoyed. And he keeps saying it. And his viewers are going down, so he's getting more and more mean. He's getting fucking vicious. I remember this. It was bad. I was really chirping. Were you on

some Mickeys or what? No, no, no, because the whole idea is you can be in a cave, so you're just hiding in a cave. And I don't know where he is. So I'm like, still in your cave? Well, fucking where you at, little bro? But it's basically like that, but 2018 version of it. So where you at, weird champ? A lot of slurs, dude.

A lot. A lot more than you think. 2018, what a different time. Different time. Different time. Yeah. It's okay to say it back. No, sure.

We've changed. Even for you, 2021, I think. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We've changed a lot. This gives DMs for 2019. I remember. It was like, I'm not even talking. Whatever was before that is fine.

I'm not even saying this for the pod. I remember it was so awkward that I just said, I'm going to leave. Yeah. And I didn't want to. I'm like, I don't want to play again. After he chirped at me for a long time, I flipped and I like, I snapped and I did a whole fucking like speech to you. What did you say?

I just. He was like, he was like, fine. You want to kill me? Fine. kill me fine fucking kill me here you go here you go I'm out of the open kill me and I just dropped my armor and I walked up and I let him I was like oh you fucking had me now great is that good I don't know why the fuck it but he just wouldn't shut the fuck up is there a vod of this anywhere no shot the old heads have to have a piece that would be so fun to watch now. Yeah, that was the Master of the Iron Men, for real. Honestly. Wow. Actually, not even close. Minecraft really gets to the core.

And at the time, I really don't know Stans. So we can't even bond on it. We're just like separate parties in this happening. Oh, man. It was so good. It was crazy because we were two adults in this Minecraft. That was the worst fight that broke out in high school. It was a Minecraft shit that went down on the server

because everybody griefed the shit out of your friends. Nobody played to team. Nobody played to cooperate and build everything together. It was like, if you found your friends base underground, you flooded it with gravel and lava and destroyed everything.

If you're going to hide your base, then you deserve for it to be destroyed if someone finds it. What else is the point of hiding? I don't like this. And if someone raids your base, you deserve to kill them. Different, different, different. Everyone's libertarian. What if they were in your mind, like mine and your diamond? I think if you buy a house, for example, you should have property rights and no one should come in without your permission.

I think that's like a real law that exists that you can sue somebody for. I disagree. I think we play Minecraft to escape law, don't we? Well, he's talking about the real world. I think squatting laws exist for a reason and we should protect those. I hit that fridge like a fucking...

We hit a lick on that fridge. We did steal something from you and you'll never get it back. I wonder what it is. You'll never know it back. I wonder what it is. Yeah, you'll never know. There was also a bunch of empty Rogaine cans in his bathroom. Like a fucking... Yeah. It was like a beer graveyard, except it was Rogaine.

Wait, do you actually do Rogaine? I don't do Rogaine. Why is all the... We'll delete this. It's fine. The whole... While we were sitting in the dark waiting for you to come in it unlocked this like really visceral memory of when i came home from a trip once during college uh my friends who one

of which we refer to as dr noodle slam uh packaged like uh holiday wrapped and saran wrapped every single thing in my room after i came back from a two-week saran wrap is unnecessary my desk my pc books my entire bed my bed frame my crt literally every single object in my room is in christmas wrapping wait was this after The Office or before The Office? This is... Certainly after. After, after. He didn't watch The Office, so I don't think he knew

what I did. I do like that idea. And Sam was just like, I can do this. I'm getting home after being away for two weeks. I'm so tired. I'm so jet lagged.

And I'm like, for fuck's sake, man. So I start unwrapping. The bed. But when I get... I unwrap my bed first and I find out that every object,

it's, you peel off the wrapping paper and it's just fucking food saran wrap. So you have to like cut through another layer

on every object. That's actually badass. It just reminded me of it because that is like the most violated that I have been. And then you like get under the covers finally.

And it's like, Beatles? No! You're like, oh, I hope they didn't find my, it's like the saran wrap dildo. No! We had a guy break into that house for real and shoot up heroin in my friend's bed. And that was still the worst thing that happened. The guy was chill. The guy was chill. The guy was chill.

The guy, he was, well, he was on heroin. He was super chill. He was relaxed. That's a good prank. Breaking into someone's house and shooting up heroin. By the way, I didn't say this earlier, but Slime, you are my second favorite person to play Melee against. Why?

Specifically, your Marth and my Fox. You like that. I'll have a great time. Because it's competitive. It's hot. We keep it light. We keep it fun. Yeah, we don't I'll have a great time. Because it's competitive. It's hot. We keep it light. We keep it fun. Yeah, we don't have a lot of,

like, We have less attachment. We have just enough pride in our secondaries to want to keep playing, but not enough to get angry about it. Some of my favorite times

playing Melee were playing Fox Dittos with you guys on the TV downstairs in the old house. And you guys didn't, and you know why you guys didn't like it?

Because you lost every fucking game. Okay. I like that. I like how he beat you guys. For me, A why you guys didn't like it because you lost every fucking game okay I like that I like how he beat you guys for me Aiden it's that you will you will leave

when you are satiated you won't leave when the vibes are at peak so if I ask for double or nothing occasionally you'll be like no no I'm going to bed now

and that's why that's why you shouldn't have said what you said no I don't think that ever happened I know what you're talking about but that never happened in this situation because you were never like there was never a time where i wasn't a hundred percent confident that i wasn't going

to win money again can i hit you some yeah wrong but i remember there was one morning where i broke up like the morning fox diditto to sit in and play. Because you guys were betting every game. And I was like, let me get in on this. And then I started winning. And you guys went from super happy, quipping back and forth. You killed the vibes. This was the same as Falcon Royale.

Dude, do you remember SA Nick? He was the Australian guy. We were playing Fox Dittos at my house. And then he came over and played Jigglypuff. Yeah, nobody knows fucking good etiquette at your house for Dittos. You remember this happening though, right? Yeah. Yeah, okay.

What is your POV? This happened with, I don't remember the Jigglypuff. I remember a third guy showing up, and he was just way better than us. Yes. Yeah, I feel it. Is that not different though? It's like Nick, Borderline top 100 player Boots in

With a character That is like Traditionally not fun To play against I'm jumping on the setup To play my secondary Fox Just like you guys This is Hitler

And Mussolini Yeah you're incompetent Two boys are playing Having a good time Even match And you show up And you're better Than both of them

You always say You're secondary Fox You were playing Fox In tournament Yeah Yeah it's secondary though Okay The point is We can't We're not even In space right now That's crazy and you show up in your bed with both of them. you always say you're secondary Fox. You were playing Fox in tournament. Yeah. Yeah, it's secondary though. Okay.

The point is, we can't. It's based right now. That's crazy. I can't stop it. We're just trying to have a good time and you're here

for the money. Yeah, and you were taking the money. You were farming. Leffen plays Sheik in tournament. Would you call it his main?

This is our dirty little secret is we have bet probably $50,000 that we've never paid out. Oh, $50,000? Probably. That's crazy. Thousands of dollars. Yeah. That is crazy. little secret is we have bet probably fifty thousand dollars that we've never paid out oh fifty thousand probably a lot

thousands of dollars yeah that is crazy that we've just never paid oh like collectively back and forth yes like one person doesn't owe the other fifty grand right

I presumably call that one I'll get you when I get you tally it all up off rank goes to shit uh no SA Nick we never tallied it up SA Nick would ruin

your guys' setup and then years later go on to break Josh Mann's arm arm wrestling. Yes. He is a cancer on the Smash team. The first to rot whenever he goes. The first to sort of rot. I like the dirtiest Foursquare known to man.

Just an all-around teaser. What does he do that's honest? He's a cheeser. I've never felt more actually fucking old than playing Foursquare with you guys. You guys were all incredibly cracked at it. Yeah, you were old. It's true.

I was getting knocked out every round. I was like, damn, this fucking sucks. Do you stay active these days? Oh, yeah. I've actually been fucking hustling. What do you do? What, at the gym? Yeah, I do a run every morning

and then go to the gym every day. You run? Nice. Wow, man. It's been like two weeks, but I'm doing it. What's your bench? I don't know. He's one of those guys. No compound movements. He's one of those guys that's like, I don't doing it What's your bench? I don't know He's one of those guys

No compound movements He's one of those guys That's like I don't know Like I just I don't know I never got a one rep max I don't know

I don't do it I don't do it Dude this is like We were at TwitchCon And Lud is wine drunk And he's talking to Austin About his lifts And Austin's like

I don't do any compound movements And he's like Come on what do you bench? And he's like I don't know And he's like Just give me a number And Austin's like I really I don't know And he's like, I don't do any compound movements and he's like, come on, what do you bench? He's like, I don't know. And he's like, just give me a number.

And Austin's like, I really, I don't know. And he's like, all right, dumbbell press, what do you think you could do? And he's like, I don't know.

And he just keeps asking him. He's like, it is crazy to not hear. I'll tell you what I can do and you think it's above or below. And he just keeps berating about this and I'm sitting there watching because I know he's drunk.

So I'm just like, why is he doing this? And Austin's just like, I just really, I've never liked it. You didn't know I was drunk until a day later? Well, I can tell you're being weird. I don't know you're drunk, but I know you're in a mood. So I'm just observing.

I just, because Austin has a great body. He does. But I have no barometer on his strength whatsoever. And it's very different bodybuilding versus powerlifting. So it's just genuine curiosity. And so I was looking for literally any lift. Any lift at all. Like shoulder flies. What do you do? What? What movement? And he's like, don't know. It, 70? Literally any lift. Any lift at all. Like a small. Like shoulder flies.

What do you do? What? What? What movement? Yeah. Yeah. And he's like, don't know.

It's just all about the squeeze. What the fuck? That's badass. That's what he said. He didn't say it's all about the squeeze. I don't care about the weight. I'm like, great. Pilot, not the plane.

Yes, sir. Yes, sir. I suppose so. I suppose so. Speaking of, by the way, I think I get a lot of shit for, you know, sometimes in conversation

not being the most comprehensible. You know, like meowing occasionally. We meow for fun around here. You know. That's not the time. Sometimes not using words. As a cat does. I think Nick is leaving us in the ability to communicate.

What do you mean? Our Nick? Yes. What do you mean? I think Nick is leaving us because we were hanging out last night and we were trying to play Clue. And every fucking sentence this piece of shit says is like, we're gonna play Clue, and he's like, I got a clue of what bitch I'm gonna fuck tonight. And I was like,

you've turned into like a mini doll with a pull string for a joke. Yeah, yeah, man. We all know who it is. It's the same joke 20x that Yingling's like, what are the rules? And he's like, I rule when I'm in your mom's vagina. And they're like, who do you want to play?

And I'm like, Jafar. They're like, alright, want to play and i'm like jafar they're like all right jafar i would like jafar from these hoes and it's silent and then he's like he's like man give me the podcast room right now i was like bro let's go upstairs We hung out for two hours. You wanted me to be there. I didn't know he'd be like that. We hung out for two hours. He didn't get a genuine conversation. I kept saying, I kept saying, how do you play Clue?

Like QD would try to explain to me how Clue works. And I'm like, there are any females in this game? I didn't realize how mad it made him. It didn't make me mad. I'm just hanging out with you again. I'm like,

Clue. I didn't get close to winning You affected him So it sounds like you did win I dominated in Clue I got called to play Clue And I said I don't want to drive I realized like one turn before the last turn That there was courtesy cards that we all get to see

Which was said Which I needed to win You guys put bread on it? Uh, no. No. Yeah. Excepted on us. Just you three?

Cutie was in a rain mood. It's why she called you. She was like, I want to play Clue. She was like, I want to play Clue. I want to play Clue. I get on the stairs.

She's like, you want to play Clue? I'm like, whoa, what's up? What's going on? And she's like, I'm going to call Slime. She climbed to you.

I was like, yeah, I guess we're playing Clue. Nick England came over to play Clue. Aw. So we all just got around to play Clue. She loves rain days. just got around to playing Clue. She loves Rain Days. Rainy Day time.

I also love Rain Days. I hate it. I've been so much happier. I need a son, dude. I want that son. I need a nasty son. I've been so much happier. Your record has drastically increased just being in LA. Dude, my life is so much fucking better down here. Why? Because I was

a fucking monk. I was just fucking working all day and then streaming at night. I can't believe Ari didn't divorce you. I swear to God, I don't know. I actually don't understand. But she met me when I was grinding League of Legends 11 hours a day skipping all classes, so that's the bar. Yeah, I guess it's all uphill from there. You know what I'm saying?

She ride or die with that. Anything is better than my husband going back to the rim. The difference is you were 20 and now you are 33. You are 36. So it's like you are 47. I remember one time she wanted to see Toy Story 4. And I told her, babe, I can't. I really got to catch up on this homework.

Like I'm behind. And so I blew her up. And then she came into my dorm later with like a gift. Like a snack for me. I wasn't doing homework. I was 14 hours deep into League of Legends and I had torrented and watched Toy Story 4. No way.

That is actually fucked. It's one of the most fucked things I've ever done. That is evil. I literally regret it more than anything I've ever done. Ari. Don't even ask her about that. Dude, we need to know why. We need to know how did the relationship survive that?

I mean, the fact that she didn't break up then is like, she's ride or die. That is fucking unreal. She's ride or die. That's crazy. That's not ride or die. That's like gaslit Stockholm Syndrome. No. So Brandon here just told us a story about Toy Story 4.

Can you give us out your perspective on that? You can sit here right now. I think it might have been. The fact that she's moved on from it is so. I think it's pure heart. It's definitely not 4. Because 4 is 2017. Do you remember when you wanted to watch Toy Story with me and I said I couldn't because

I had to do homework and then you came over to my dorm room and you came in and I had been playing League of Legends and I'd already watched Toy Story it's definitely not for it's either three or you're talking about Monsters University I was supposed to be three okay okay no I don't remember Wow you are you are your league thing was like ongoing for like months because she's she's repressed no no it's because your league thing was like

ongoing for like months yeah it was a kind of a cool thing is like oh you're

you're a fucking you're kind of a douchebag but the torrenting the movie she asked you to watch okay because what because what that means

is you did want to watch it but just not with her no I wanted to watch it with her but I didn't want to take a break from league so I had it on but you did anyway. Isn't that a red flag?

You're dogging your League teammates by watching a movie while you play. You're dogging her by ignoring her to watch it. I had an Excel spreadsheet, and I had to get 10 wins a day or I wouldn't let myself sleep. I was a psychopath for League. Why did you let him get away with it?

What did you see in me back then? I don't know. That's what you always say when I ask you is you just say I was busy and you had your own shit going on. What did I see in you? I definitely don't go for white people. Winning personality maybe. You know, like charm.

Ambition. She saw the ball was coming so she thought she'd come in before that happened. We were friends, right? Okay, baby. She saw the ball was coming, so she thought she could come in before that happened. I mean, we were friends, right? Yeah. Oh. Okay, baby. That man, I guess, is right. I love this.

I love this for you, too. That is the most dog thing I've ever heard, actually. Yeah, I felt super bad about it. I felt legitimately guilty. You actually felt bad? I felt awful. I don't think I felt that. I felt awful. Still cute't think I felt that.

I felt awful. Still chewed up the next day, though. Yeah, I mean, I wasn't. He learned all by himself. He filled the sheet. That's something that I would joke about Aiden doing. Yeah. I would joke that Aiden does. I was legitimately addicted.

I was about to see it. Aiden's like, I just wanted to watch it. Did you like it? Never do that. I don't think you would do that. You might do it. You might. I torrented one movie on my school's internet and then got a fucking

DMCA notice from the network admin. Look how depressed and sad Maya is. Just missing Ari so much. He does want Ari so badly. Okay. Thank you for clarifying that.

Thanks for the words of endorsement. This fig survived the fumigation, so you gotta be nice to it. Nice to it. That's cool. The Monsanto original. Hey, class to the

designer. Ass dot cleaning. Oh yeah, she did make swipe packaging. Please buy. She is way cooler than you deserve, man. That's crazy. Facts, facts, facts, facts, but, you know, kind of a catch in my own way. You think you're a catch?

Good face. I was thinking about something else actually Hey kids, you wanna be like me? You sick and tired of the same old Same old day after day Wait wait wait Why kids? Because they get hungry kiddos Adults get hungry too

So adults too, but kids listen up Adults are hungry too but I'm speaking to the kids Is a thing that I've been using for a while. Unsponsored. This is real and true. You do literally love eating those meals. I'm a guy who likes losing weight. And I'm a guy who needs to lose...

Well... What does that mean? Say it. Say it with your chest. We are in the H-Rock episode. Come on. Why are you bringing tummy time out? Tummy time.

Come on. Tummy time. Don't tell my tummy time. The Factor meals are working. Show your tummy again. Show your tummy again. It's fine. But take control.

The problem is that the Factor meals are so delicious, he eats too many of them. I don't eat too many. Look, here's the thing. Factor is a ready-to-eat meal prep thing. It's just meals ready to go. You throw them in the microwave, stabby, stabby, a couple times, throw in there two minutes, call it a day. They're really good. It's easy. It's just meals ready to go. You throw them in the microwave stabby stabby a couple times, throw in there two minutes, call it a day. It's easy, it's quick and the macros are all on the

package. So that's why I like Factor is because I know Fatty. Cutie likes to cook in the house a lot. One day I came downstairs and I smelled something delectable and I was like dang, what's she cooking? It was just Ludwig microwaving a Factor meal. And I was like damn. But the, look, the thing about it,

Nick, is you gotta make sure you pick the meals every week, because if you don't, then they're just gonna throw you, like, all the chicken in the world. How many options do they have? 30 plus. 30 plus? Weekly? Easy. Oh my god. They got add-ons, you can get smoothies, juices, snacks, veggies, proteins, vegan meals.

You can also have the protein, too. That's what I'm gonna do, is get the protein ones because I you know I'm trying to get swolled up it is good for protein because there's it's like 40 grams of protein and

then they're like six grams of sugar so it's like all in all like you know what decent dinner meal I don't grocery shop and I just steal these from cutie and Ludwig you do eat

a lot of them and I never see him eat them and they're really good you know what I do have one problem with that especially stolen there's no problem I have one big come on it's our fucking link they gave us ludwig go to go.factor75.com slash the yard six zero go do all that if you want to do that factor what the what the fuck man it is for 60 off your first box yard 60s

that's a lot and then maybe just google fact. Yeah, or she put the link on the screen Go dot factor 75 dot-com slash the yard 60. Yeah, make sure you put HTTP colon slash slash TPS and that's 60% off your first box, which actually a fucking pretty good deal I 60% off your first box, which is actually a fucking pretty good deal. Hey, 60% off box, you're still getting boxed. You can get 60% off, or you can make your roommate do it. You can steal it. It just tastes really good if you steal it from him. Let's get back to haunting Atriox dreams.

I remember the first time I played Melee vs. You. Oh, yeah? We were at Big House. Was it miserable for me like it is every fucking time I play the game? We were at Big House. Speak to that, actually, because I feel the same, and I can't put it into words. We are at our 12th friendly. He's the most miserable't put it into words. We are at our 12th friendly. He's the most miserable person.

12th friendly. We are at our 12th friendly and we're two stocks. You're up. We're on Pokemon Stadium and you're up two stocks to four. Or sorry, sorry. You're up.

I have two stocks. You have four. Yeah. And you have not won a game on the setup. Yeah. And you go, all right, road game.

Middle of the game. That's so funny. And then I'm like, wait, what do you mean this is the road game? And then you clutch it out last stock and start trying really really hard and you clutch it out and then you stop playing with me.

Lock this fucking world. That's the fucking Rogue game, bitch. Rogue game that I never forgot how you are. I held it over for like fucking a month. I made the misfortune of playing him again. Yeah, he kept saying, well I won the Rogue game though. I will say we would still smoke you guys in doubles. Cause that's what we did. At that big house, me and Nick teamed. No, teamed. We had a great run.

We had a bet that we'd place farther than you two teaming and we actually tied our scores. We had to play it out and we smoked you. We got lucky we tied. You guys had a historic double knee. That's right. Do you have a setup here? Never set it up.

You hate melee. I had this thought recently. This is the only sweet thing I'll say about you. Do you have a setup here? Never set it up. You hate melee. You do hate it. Oh, that's what I was going to say. I had this thought recently. This is the only sweet thing I'll say about you. Yeah. The whole episode. Only one.

Nice. Only thing. Was I was thinking about how fun it was when we used to play Valorant with you. And I was like, I wish you would play Valorant more. When was that? I have a clip where it's me like 1v4 or 5. And Atriok is just like casting my 1v5. Dude, I love popping off for my teammates. And I win the 1v5

with like a Brimstone and Maury lineup and shit. And he's just like laughing and he's like, how did they lose that? How did it? And I was watching it and it warmed my heart. It sounds like you kind of just missed someone popping off for your guild. No, it was just whatever. I will say, we got a lot of anger

when we play Valor with each other but when someone starts popping off the vibes go up we do start and what else what else let him cook

let him cook let Yan cook let Yan cook what do you what do you love about Atrioc Ludwig yeah what do you love

about me he said this he's the one I like playing melee with the most oh yeah right and I have a dead father what else do you want what don't you like about Atrioc cause you this. He's the one I like playing melee with the most. Oh, yeah, right. And I have a dead father. What else do you want from me? What don't you like about H.R.O.?

Because you like so much. I always saw his father model because he's so much older than me. We get it. You have a dead dad. Jesus Christ. Yeah, and he's dad age, bro. Can you be my new dad? You could be.

Older than me. Yeah, but my dad died. And your dad. It feels like my dad is your new dad. By the way, I brought this up. I think I brought this up. When my dad died, he fucking messaged me and he apologized for yelling at me. And I was like, oh, that's what it takes, huh?

That's what it takes. That's what it takes. Because he came into the room- You better have another close person die for this. He came into the Doritos, Logos, Tacos room and I was literally telling him, I'm really happy that you're around. And then you were so mad because you lost an Age of Empires game that you were like, I don't want to hear this right now.

And it was like, you thought I was fucking with you. And I was like, wow, dick. Okay. And then when my father passed away, he messaged me. He's like, dude, I'm so sorry I did that. I snapped at him. I forgot about that. I felt like I was being kind of a douche.

No, I deserve it. You're okay. What do you hate about what do you hate about H-Rack Aiden I hate that he hasn't booked his flights to New Zealand yet you didn't expect it

out of me bro you guys are going to 69 on a mountain somewhere you're saying you didn't expect it bro I have been asking

for one thing for you to move to Los Angeles and work with me for two and a half years so color me a little shocked that within like a fucking conversation you signed up to move to Los Angeles and work with me for two and a half years. So color me a little shocked that within like a fucking conversation you signed up to go to New Zealand.

Bro, the worst part of off-brand for me is that Ludwig is in it. I'm the only one who's worked so far. I know. I believe that. It's a huge part of it. And that's a bad spot to be in if Ludwig's the one putting in the groundwork.

I know. It's not. I've made several good businesses. I love it. I'm just saying, you're not the guy who cracks his knuckles and rolls up the sleeve. No, it's nothing about that. It's like I really liked being my own thing. I liked being a little out of the circle.

Because he's got a big circle. Wait, what are you talking about right now? Dude, okay, so I didn't know this. H-Rock has a cat. He didn't show the cat on stream for a while because he thought he'd be biting my shit. That has nothing to do, really. It did have something to do with it.

I don't want to be a content cat. Yes, literally. And he's like, Didn't you say that people were making fun of you for getting a cat and you got annoyed at that? Yeah, that's the thing. That's insane. It's just chat.

Just bring the cat on the stream. I do it now. Do you? I do. But he Do you? I do. But he held out for a while. Wow. He held out for a while. And I think it's because you had a deep desire to be a separate circle.

And I know this because you did that one video on the Twitch map. And you're like, I'm kind of my own bubble. You're like, they're over there. I'm kind of like over. You watched. You watched. You watched. You watched.

You watched. Oh, you watched the whole thing. High retention. You're saying of like over. You watched. You watched. You watched. You watched. You watched. You watched. Oh, you watched the whole thing. High retention. You're saying you don't want to be Ludwig's in the universe. Yeah, exactly. That makes sense. And I like doing my own thing.

And so it's like, now I'm off brand. It's like, I'm kind of all in. That's the only thing I like about it. I think it's a great business idea. How much does it bother you? It's a little bit. That's the only thing that bothers me about it is a little bit.

I like being there. I get it. I get it, yeah. No one wants to be a ludwig's chat that's why i've always been immune to this i'm making this about me right now okay always been immune to this because i was i i like lay popped off first and no matter how big ludwig gets i can rest easy knowing that like i made a video before like you know i do always say you're the reason i started streaming yeah and i'll never not say that which is really funny because like

man the reason you start screaming and it I'll never not say that. Which is really funny because like, man. I'm the reason you started screaming. And it was in Nick's house. So this is the problem with you thing from earlier. No, I like this. This is good. You just let it go. Every rhyme gets me though. It's just a different version of Stance. Yeah, but he's funnier.

You don't like Stance? Because Stance will go yeah, but that's what I'm screaming. Like he's a cartoon. Like Nick at least is cool. No. You're feeding it. I'm just telling the truth. It's vanilla and chocolate chip.

Nick, get sturdy right now. No, dude. Get sturdy? You can't. Dude, you have to prove it to him. Ludwig got owned on made so hard. You got owned on made so hard, you just can't stomach it.

You just can't stomach it. Just get sturdy. You didn't understand the tweet. White boy from Orange County. You didn't understand the tweet, Ludwig got owned on made so hard. You got owned on made so hard, you just can't stomach it. You just can't stomach it. You didn't understand the tweet. You're a white boy from Orange County. You didn't understand the tweet, Ludwig. You act like you had a big upbringing. You didn't understand the tweet, Ludwig. You're a white boy from OC. You can't get sturdy.

Can you get sturdy or not? He's so owned right now, it's painful. You know what he was doing in OC? Moving packs. Can you? Yeah. This was the tweet. This was the tweet.

The tweet was saying that my kid needs to get sturdy, right? And the follow-up tweet was because I had to crank that Spongebob. The sturdy is not my generation. It's not the one that I had to do. I did the one that I already did. Never wrote the second tweet. That's what I'm saying. You don't understand. It's not about getting sturdy.

My kid is going to have to do the trend. I was the sturdy thing. You can't get sturdy. I've said this before. I've literally watched Ludwig type out a tweet like it's word salad. Like, I can see his brain

trying to make it happen. The tweet was, you can't get sturdy? And I'm like, oh, he has a disability. Like, he literally cannot read or write properly. So I've long since abandoned

the idea that he, like, can communicate without words. That would be so mean to anyone else. But you've dealt with it. I've also gotten way better and you're still a dick about it. No, no, you have gotten way better. But you talk like I have. You consistently talk like I have.

The fact that you read his tweet and then you interpreted that way and tried to make a joke using like text and not... It wasn't a joke. I was like, you're a white boy from Orange County talking about getting sturdy like you're from the hood yeah but it's just it's misunderstanding like what he was saying right which is reading comprehension which you fucked up i still think it's weird if you want your child who's gonna be born in affluence to learn no dude it's a

tiktok trend you're so wrong the white kids in affluent neighborhoods getting sturdy every week i don't i think if you see the white kids who are getting sturdy, they're not doing it right. That's not what I'm saying. I'm saying they're trying to fit in at school. You're so stupid. I went so hard to understand the world as you see it, but I can't. All the white kids were cranking that soldier boy in my day. That's what they had to learn.

Oh, what? Wait. You had to learn to crank that soldier boy. You were fucking not cool at school. I know, but that was my school, and I'm older than you. Wait. You had to learn to crank that soldier boy. You were fucking not cool at school. I know but that was my school and I'm older than you. It was a generation

Wait, high school? I was in middle school. I was in elementary school. Cranking that? Crank that soldier boy? Wait, what?

What does that mean? You're a year older than me. You're fifth grade? Fifth grade when people were cranking Oh, I guess I was in sixth grade.

That's fucked up. You're a little bear. I never had any of this. Did you crank that? In school? Yeah. Yeah.

Were you ever in your bedroom learning the dance? Yeah. Yep. Yeah, you had to. Like a school dance, if it comes on, you gotta be able to crank that. I wanted the Soulja Boy shades so bad. They just had his name. I have a question for you two.

Have you ever run out of, like people ask us about podcasts, but have you ever like run out of stories to tell on stream or is life just an infinite well? I think for everyone life's an infinite well it's just all about how you can tell it I agree but I also think about sometimes it's like Ludwig I feel like every time he

tells a story it's like he'll either say I've told this on stream before or he like I have to assume he might have already. Not that that like ruins, but I don't know. Yeah, but he adds new stuff as things happen. Wishcon happened, you did a bunch of shit. Because you got bangers, you got greatest hits, but almost anything could be a funny story if you add energy, add stakes, say why someone was acting.

I think it depends how much life you live online versus offline. But I think there are people who are... Yeah, you just be streaming 18 hours a fucking day. Yeah, if all you do is stream, then you probably don't have any stories to drop because it's all from your upbringing. You gotta go do shit. And then you have to do shit.

It's like going to TwitchCon. In general, do you ever try to do more stuff to farm a story because you haven't been doing much? Bro, I heard Nick's been doing that for the pod. Well, kinda, but... I've just been more of a yes man for the pod. Normally I would just stay inside and play video games, but I know if I go out, I will have something to talk about on Monday.

Less like I'm there trying to make something happen. More like I can't just be in my room all week and then show up and fucking say... So I showed up to Valkyries with an AK-47. Yeah, because I experienced this. Radstads hits me up in Slack, because he works for Mogul Moves. He's our TikTok getter. Hi, Radstads. And he's like, hey, we're having a housewarming party, because I experienced this. Radstads hits me up in Slack because he works for Mogul Moves.

He's our TikTok getter. Hi, Radstads. And he's like, hey, we're having like a housewarming party because he lives with him and two other guys. And it's like, we just moved in. I'm like, oh, he's like, if you want to stop by, I'm like, sure. And I said, I hate socializing. I am going to give you a housewarming skeleton. And he's like, okay, cool.

And then I went to Home Depot. I wanted the nine foot one that we saw outside that house. Yeah, we saw an enormous skeleton, literally the size of a house. It's nine and a half feet long, but they didn't have it. They had a wolf. It was a werewolf and it was nine and a half feet tall. The box was a hundred pounds. And I'm like, well, this is what I'm getting.

It costs $300. I'm like, okay. Dude, you brought that to the party? Yeah. But here's the thing. I'm in the Home Depot parking lot. Wait, that wolf and all the photos was from you yeah i brought him so i the thing is i i drive a rav4 right i'm learning this now it's a decent sized car that was his for the party do talk about him like in the pictures like he's been there for years no yeah well he is immortal

that's what it says in the box i grab i take this box i have a dolly i'm like one man trying to take this and i i put down my seats and it just barely doesn't fit in the box i go in my car luckily i have a box cutter so i have to cut open the box in the home depot parking lot and there's all these plastic wolf limbs and a bracket and like tools yeah i mean yeah it comes it's nine feet tall it literally won't fit in a vehicle and so, it's too much effort for a party. I know, but I figured this out. And I'm like, it won't fit in my car. And I'm like, Jesus fucking Christ, what have I got myself into?

I'm not going to take it back. And so I'm putting wolf limbs in my car. It's just stuff. And it's like I had to Tetris all these limbs. And then I had to cut up the box and put it so I don't want to leave it in the parking lot. I go to Rat's dad's house. I'm like hey i need help you brought him the job problem you gave him a fucking problem instead of a case of beer i did

i was like i was like afternoon wasted i was like crap and we start bringing fucking limbs in and his roommate is drunk as shit he's like what the fuck and he's like we're just like a giant wolf head it's like bigger than two guys and then uh and then we'd spend the whole party assembling it which is actually really fun for me because i don't like drink i don't like socializing a lot over clocks me and i was like i have a task it was a mocha yeah you just brought extreme legos i did bring extreme legos and now it's like so we couldn't like attach the torso to the legs is like faultily built so now they just have two halves of a nine foot werewolf in their home and i'm like you're gonna have to get rid of this by the way

i'm not i don't it's in the dumpster now no they'll keep that for life until how and uh so i found out and found out two things that day i if i go to socialize i need a task and i'll be happy like a mogas or at that party everyone is really funny. Everyone. It'd be really funny to make this like a thing you do. Like you roll up to the party, you always have a giant werewolf. That's always that. You have to buy them now. You actually do need a task. There were only two left

at the Home Depot. Stock up. Dude, they were making fun of me when I was buying it. This like old lady was like, ah, someone's finally taking one home. I'm like, yeah. I'm like, alright. $300. You do need a fucking task because i was at a party with you reese taffo's party if you don't have a task you're a menace i'm funny though his task funny but his task was to ruin your fucking night yeah he's just following me around like whipping the camera

out doing little bits calling me me bald. He's bald. It's true. Just screaming. You sound pretty owned. He's just roaming the party but then it just means. It's crazy how much taller he is than you. But it's great

because you'll always play along. Yeah, I'll play along. He's not even doing it to me. He's doing it to everybody. And then he leaves. He does that for 15 minutes. Just menace, menace, menace, menace. And then Irish goodbye. Dude, I helped build that werewolf and. Just menace, menace, menace, menace. And then Irish goodbye.

I helped build that werewolf and then I said to Radstats, I'm leaving now. How long were you there? How long did it take to build? Two hours. It was so fucking hard to build. It was like 10 grown adults just trying.

I don't know. I learned a lot about socializing this weekend. You think that's what you learned? Yeah. Okay. That's the lesson of this Arthur episode. Right. Are we getting burgers? Burger Bears, what is this thing?

Explain to me your plan. He keeps talking to me about burgers. I would like to go and have one-on-one burgers with Slime. Why burgers? Because I realized that I've never think I had one-on-one food with you. Why burgers? Why not Panda Express? There's a nice burger place near his exact address, which I'll list now.

Why not Panda Express? Get Panda full circle. Oh, yeah, we get Panda. What if we got Panda together? That would be funny. Come on. We're going to watch out, by the way. He'll fuck you up for that.

Bro, people were telling me nonstop to find, RIP, to find your dad. Yeah, I remember I was going to say that. And eat Panda Express with him. And I was planning on it because I found him through Facebook. No, you didn't. I did. Was that him? No, that's not him.

My dad hasn't, well, in his time alive on this earth, he hadn't touched a computer in 40 years. Oh, then I just talked to a random dude. Yeah, you did. Yeah. That's crazy. I would love to see what you talked to. Free meal, yep. Dude, my dad didn't know how to use his phone until until I died. Yeah, like whoever you found was not him

It's probably so funny if I got photos the wrong guy Some guy Yeah. I crossed the country. I got to see some guy. Well, that's funny. He lived in Saskatchewan. I don't know. That was your dad.

Yeah, you wouldn't have been able to find him. That's crazy. Off the grid type of dude. Yeah, well, there you go. Yeah, let's get some Bergs, man. I'll fucking, we'll one-on-one. We'll be all normal together. Let's chop it up.

I owe you a movie, too. Yeah. We've been fucking. We've been trying. We'll figure it out. We're doing five. We're doing. Yeah, we're doing a fucking.

We're doing. N-Z. N-Z. We do hang out enough these days. Why N-Z? What about it? Because I just wanted to go there For a long time

Z for Zed Like the Canadians say No I know that But isn't that New Zealand That's where they're going Are they going to Netherland No we're going to New Zealand Oh I misheard

Yeah we're going to South Island Yeah he just asked me And I said that'd be fun I'll fuck it I would never say yes to that In a billion fucking years South Island

Yeah You've been out on Auckland No we're flying into Auckland. Oh, so you're going to Auckland. Okay. Dude, what? What, Christchurch? Christchurch is on the South Island.

Why is he doing this, Aidan? What's going on? He just likes proving that he knows locations. Which is only two places in New Zealand that he knows. Yeah, you only know in Christchurch. What about Wellington? Wellington? What's a...

Name one more place in New Zealand now. New Brunswick. Fuck. That's in Australia. Where's the location of that giant fucking herpy on your face? Oh, it's right there. Hey, Rainbow, help us out. Wait, what? He's good at GeoGuessing.

I've seen some pimples. Now you're mean. That's not dumb. You're mean about I messaged Lodwig and I was like if you could save Either my or Rainbolt's hairline Who would you pick Out of the blue

And I said I would save yours For one day because I think it'd be funny But I'd rather him have hair for life You still got hair right By the way when Aiden Said in our group chat he was like hey I'm going because I think it'd be funny, but I'd rather him have hair for life. He still got hair, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. By the way, when Aiden talked, he said in our group chat, he was like, hey, I'm going to New Zealand

with A-Track. Does anyone want to come? Ludwig was like, yeah, I'll be working, but have fun. I've never felt more passive aggression from Ludwig. It was such a little bitch. Hit me up when you start working at all.

Where are you guys going? Oh, my God, dude. In like four weeks. Four weeks? Ten months. Wait. Oh, yeah. We're going soon.

Yeah. In like four weeks. Yeah. Oh, you want to go? I got a little bit of fun. He's thinking about it. I asked him to go before. He didn't say yes then.

But now he knows. Now he knows it's happening. Ooh. Yeah. I'll be there for juice, but have fun, guys. Bro, all the off-brand work for a year is me as my third job. All the off-brand. It's zero dollars I made.

No, no, no, no, no. You just haven't paid yourself. I've seen the bank account. You're fucking stupid. Do not say that. I haven't even voiced it. You just literally are sitting on a fucking number. I didn't see a dime from it, and I worked my ass off on that Raid Shadow Legends thing.

You just have to pay yourself. That fucking Bumble thing. And I didn't see a dollar. Not one dollar ever. Do you think I have? Yeah, you got paid bad. You got paid huge. I got paid for the sponsors I did.

Yeah. Yeah, as an influencer. You got the 90%. Yeah, but the 10% always went back in. But that's way different. Went back in, dude. I remember I negotiated my own G Fuel deal. I was doing this monster, dude.

I negotiated my own G Fuel deal, and then I did it through Off-Brand. He basically got the boys some money. Yeah. He deleted 10%. I have to get $0 for me thus far. I'm a loss leader. What do you think our fans want to know about Atrioc? I'm kind of out of... Are you cut or uncut?

I'm uncut. Whoa! I'm uncut. Can I see your dick tonight? Don't say it like that. Where were you born? Where was I born? Yeah. I hate that. I'm a man of the world. US?

Been all over, US? United States? I mean yeah You could say that I guess But We will I regret fucking asking I live in 13 states Lived in Germany

Lived in Japan Lived in Korea So it's like you know Is your brother circumcised? No We're both uncut Uncut brothers The gems

Bro I remember I can tell You know Any verse Audi belly button Yeah, what do you got? I didn't I mean I have whatever Don't think regular any any any any right anybody have a check like he doesn't know 37 years in this earth he doesn't know There's any was out. There's any and there's like middles You know I thought any was out II I because like, I thought there's a little...

Explain, explain why. You know how it goes in and there's a little button itself? Yeah. Because that was out? That's what I got. So I was in like middle school and some girl was like, do you have innie or outie? I was like, I got outie embarrassing. And she's like, really?

I've never met an outie. Like, let me see it. Let me see it. And then I showed her. You lied to her face. No, I just showed her and then she was super disappointed and everyone thought I was like lying for attention

and I remember being incredibly embarrassed what a short lived lie that would have been yeah I don't know it was so dumb

because you instantly show and you're like ah fuck I'm sorry I didn't get it but it's like that's one of those formative memories

in my fucking brain like this is so embarrassing I can't believe you and your brother are not yeah you have your foreskin on we keep our foreskin on

in the Ewing clan. Does your dad have foreskin? I... Have you never seen your dad's cock? Actually, unfortunately, I have. He's cut. Whoa. What? He said not to my kids. He said not to my kids. He said the fucking... The mutilation starts now. The torture starts now.

Never again will Ewing foreskin hit this trash can. Wow, yeah, like a backboard. Me and Nick, we don't have as many. What's the scoreboard have for the show? Uncuts? Oh, this side? Uncuts rule.

Damn, you guys are 3-2'd? We should get all the votes in now. For banter, I think we were... Actually, we never found out George, but for banter, I think we were majority. George is definitely uncut. Yeah, I mean, we have have to assume but he also didn't disclose Europeans are on cut Europeans are on cut unless they're Jewish what

time we got we're at in our 22 ish are you sure what do you how do you know what do you do that cuz they keep up cuz I can't watch I just realized do you think I know how to read this? I don't. I don't know how to read a fucking tweet. It's true. I've been checkmated once again. You bought him a watch too, right?

It's the same watch? Yeah, it was the cutest and also gayest thing I've ever done. You got him a watch? Does it cover you? Yeah, if you do face up, it covers you. If you face up, you can be homophobic. Doesn't that just mean you're being problematic more? It just amplifies it.

It's a shield. It's a shield. I'm being ironic. I'm being ironic. You were using the face symbol when you said it. Not a headcrunch. The fence rests. There's a certain amount of ill cams you could have watched to say whatever you want.

How was it from your POV? What? The watch. Oh, the watch thing? No, it was sick. Was it magical? Wait, what's the thing? He, so,

there's these four seasonal watches, spring, summer, winter, fall. And in Vegas, he's like calling up to his fucking suite room in the top floor of the Vegas hotel. And all three of us walk in, not knowing what's going on. We hear piano playing.

You know, and he's looking at us playing this fucking piano and there's four boxes on top of the piano. And he's like, gentlemen. You did the Pokemon intro? Yeah, he did like a fucking... I did the George Clooney. Wait, was this with Nick Allen too? It was your starter? It was the off-brand guys.

It was Nick Allen, Stan Zandt. And it was the four watches that... He has never done anything like this for us ever and he never will. And it was crazy. Isn't that crazy? It was crazy. I gave you 100 bands. You know what's crazy? He had a picture of you.

Yeah. Also, House, we moved into. I'm just saying, it's like. We gave you 100 bands? Yeah. If you ignore all the money, success, and accommodations you've given us, you haven't given us anything. I'll leave piano next time.

All right, not on his side. You haven't done shit for us. What the hell? I gave you 100 bands. No, no, All right, now I want his side. You're going to get shit for us. What the hell? I didn't get it. No, no, because you're no longer the same side. No, I went up to him as after the YouTube deal came through, and I was like, does Daddy get a taste? Because, like, we, you know, like.

You said, does Daddy get a taste? I did not say that. I was actually very humble and, like, I was basically saying. He was much more coquettish than that. I was coquettish. He was not as forward. He was, like, the idea that, like, you know, I basically. I bow basically saying, He was much more coquettish than that. I was coquettish. He was not as forward. It was like the idea that like,

you know, I basically helped this man even though if I didn't exist it still would have all happened and I was like, Daddy get a taste?

How much of that is in the Cosmo now? Is in the Cosmopolitan? Honestly, not a lot. I paid off my student loans and I paid off the rest of my car

which I ended up, that car was such a problem. I know you got it for me I paid off the rest of my car, which I ended up... That car was such a problem. I know you got it for me, but... You're the pussy who said your dream car wasn't your dream car. Yeah, it's crazy. Next time, get your dream car right. Because it's weird if someone says, what's your dream car? I'm like, a Toyota RAV4.

That is totally appropriate. No, it wasn't. It's to say your dream car is a car that you pretend you would like. I did like it. I did like it, but it's just not practical. You know what? If it was automatic, I would have kept it. So it's not your dream car, but it is. It's literally not your dream car.

Your dream is the reality you want to live in. That's what a dream is. That's what it is. I ended up trading it in at such a loss and then I got the new car. You should have just held it. That was stupid it is. I ended up trading it in at such a loss, and then I got the new car. You should have just held it. That was stupid of us. I should have just held it as my own car,

and then given you the car. Yeah, it was weird. It'd be way more valuable now. It was basically like a tax thing, and it was like, you know. Because you get it for content, obviously, but you don't want to have to talk to the IRS while you have a race car.

Yeah. Not a real gift. It's a real gift. It's fine. No, it's even a better gift because you can write it off. Sly would prefer I write it off. Yeah.

I guess you can write it off. I'll give you that. Which we did. I mean, anytime I do anything that costs any amount of money above $5,000, Sly's like,

you gotta take a picture of her or something. You really gotta post on Instagram. You guys got that fucking boat. I was so mad about that. That one we can't write off. Just take some pics. Just take some pics.

I talked to our people. We cannot write the boat off. We took pics. I know, but they were like, the boat's not going to fly. Yeah, that's fair. Because if we get audited, then they keep auditing you. Bro, he had the most miserable time on that boat of any human being alive. Yeah, it was a bummer because it was also for her in a way.

But Kitty was on the boat? Yeah. Yeah, Kitty was on the Yeah. She was just sick. She got super seasick, which has never happened to her. We were like, jump in the water. It'll make you feel better.

She jumps off the side of the boat in the water. It's frigid. Oh, God. She gets out. She's shivering, still sick. Arden's dancing.

Hello. I remember looking left, looking right, and she was just having the worst time. Rochelle's sleeping in the basement. Rochelle's sleeping in the basement. Rochelle's asleep and Ari's trying to have fun by herself.

I was like, okay, cool. Ludwig asked earlier, we skipped over it, what do you have to say to all of us? What do you mean, say to all of you? Do you have things to say to us? What do you love and hate about us? I'm not saying stuff to you guys. No, I want you to cut categories.

I want an honest answer to this question. Why so long to have me on the pod? I know there's a reason. I know you've talked about it. I actually think the genuine reason is twofold. One, I don't think we have done the obvious guests for a while, like you and also Cutie. And I don't think there's a great reason for it

outside of it is harder to get the other guests, so if we can lock them, it's better. Yeah. And then two, the idea of duping you came up, which delayed it. Yeah, because Ari was my inside man, and it was a lot of like, okay, well, how about this date?

And she's like, oh, that probably won't work. And then like, you're recording in video, so she's like, let's wait till that. She was like, she just basically wanted to make it

not hard on you. That's sick. Are you kidding me? White paw? White paw, baby. Puppy seltzer? That's right. That you kidding me? White paw. White paw, baby. Puppy seltzer. That's right. That is so cute.

We treat our animals right around here. Also, I remember a reason was when we started the pod, we were like, let's get guests that will, you were already so in the universe, but let's get guests

that will grow the show. And then after a while, we only started getting guests that were coming, like, oh, this person's in town. We have a window to get them right now. Should we just do it? Yeah.

And it was like, almost every guest was kind of like that, where they're like, they just said they were down or they just. Like, we have a window to get them right now. Should we just do it? Yeah. It was like, almost every guest was kind of like that where they're like, they just said they were down or like they just, they just came into town. They're going to be here

for two weeks. Let's do it now. Yeah. And then, yeah, we haven't really hit any of the, you know. Why?

Why do you care? Did you expect to be on real fast? You never asked. What's your attitude about? I thought. Asking is a little weird. I guess it is a little weird,

but asking is weird. Well, I just thought I would do it early. That's my plan. I'll just do it early and then get big. It'll feel more forced, my thought. Nah. Not at all. Nah, we made sure. We made sure to do a special Brandon style episode. I did Esports

with Like Conduct podcast like three or four times. You did it like five fucking times, dude. You didn't question it once? We were desperate. You were blur every fucking week. I'm like that now with Fear and. They're little no loads refuse. You are no loads refuse for that pod. Cum dumper. Yeah, and they're fucking

one for three on podcasts I've been on with good audio. Really? The last one I was on, it echoed. And then the first one I was on, my mic was off. They got no zipper. Streaming is a dick. You guys have zipper. Streaming is addictive. Are you addicted to streaming, you think? Addicted?

You think if you can't stream, like when you got banned, you were fucking depressed. He's out of content. I don't think so. He's not even streaming. You don't even stream that much. I'm not out of content, to be fucking clear. Oh, because you got Community Season 3, 4, and 5? Oh, if it was split up into TikToks, that'd be a great fucking stream. You're watching Community on stream?

Yeah. Dude, come on. There's nothing wrong with that. You have no shame. They uploaded it for free to YouTube. That doesn't matter. God, I did tune in once

and you were watching Family Feud videos and I'm like, combat footage, Pog. And it's like, Jesus Christ. I did, one of the best human moments

actually with BrandonEwing.com Love that. was when we were talking about content and stuff. It was really recent. He's like, yeah, it feels like shit. I made a video where I uploaded,

I talked about this on the pod. I talked about Morbius and it got 700,000 views. And the Hitman world record, it took fucking thousands of hours of me to get or whatever. It was like, you know, didn't do so well. Shouldn't take YouTube to tell you that was a waste of time. It's just more of the idea. My wife's saying every five minutes, please stop.

It's just like, I just want to's saying every five minutes please stop yeah bro it's just like I just want to go to the theater and see Toy Story there's a part of me that gets mad when I tune in and you're watching Family Feud but there's also a part of me

that's like the machine like it desires blood and blood alone bro if you think I'm watching fucking Community

because it's a part of the quest to please the it's not good for my stream I'm doing it because I love the show and it's end of the stream it's the end of the quest to please the audience. It's not good for my stream. I'm doing it because I love the show and it's the end of the stream. It's the end of the night. Yeah, but you could just not stream that. But you're choosing to keep the stream on. So here's a sad fact.

I think I have reverse parasocial uh... disease. Itis or whatever. I don't fucking know what to call it. But from living in San Jose with no fucking friends around, at the end of the day, after work, I would log on to stream because I didn't fucking know what to call it But from living in San Jose with no Fucking friends around at the end of the day After work I would log on to stream not Because I didn't have fucking money then I was just logging on to stream

Because like you're lonely Because I didn't want to talk to people So that's the bummer you don't have a wife Dude Yeah She married you She's like Can you stop streaming every night?

And you're like, I'm lonely. What do you want me to do? I need someone to talk to. Who am I going to watch movies with? Who am I going to watch shows with? I need someone to watch Community. You said the vows. You said the vows with so much conviction.

You should have heard his vows in the chat. He was screaming from his pocket. His phone was in his pocket. His chat's vows were pog. Feel strong, man. You're a nightmare. I'm not a nightmare. We're about there.

Any closing remarks you want to say to the people of the world? No. Anything at all? Suck and fuck. Suck and fuck. Wow. Hey, that's Twitch's bad boy right there. Yes, sir.

I want to say something. I want to say that I think you're a great friend and as much as shit I give you, I think I'm really happy that you're in my life and I look forward when I talk to you when you fucking respond to me. But I like that a lot. I'm glad you're around a lot. I'll say that having friends that will randomly home invade your house and pop up

and then do a fun thing with is like pretty cool. Doesn't it show we care? Yeah. No, 100%. Honestly. Don't do it back though. No, I haven't had a game.

It's pretty cool. He could've. The problem is if he does it the other way around, Cutie will just combust. Yeah. Yeah.

Oh my God. She would actually fucking... She wouldn't sleep the rest of her life. But also also HR, if he did it, he'd be in the house

and be like. Dude, we were doing the juice rehearsal and, you know, there's the big talking head and I was going to voice the head

and I was doing the rehearsal and I just, I was giggling and the head kept giggling and the head can't giggle, dude. It makes no sense. He's like,

your task is. That's so funny. I couldn't stop giggling And the head can't giggle Dude it makes no sense He's like your task is That's so funny I couldn't stop giggling And so yeah What Stan's did We had to swap him in It's fucking a problem Yeah you're a little

Laughy bear I like the laugh I like the laugh Would you ever try Crack for the meme No Okay Wow

On that note Hey See you later, everybody. We're going to head over to the Primo episode where we'll find out who will do crack with slime. Check out patreon.com slash the R. Could be you. Could be your family.

Dot trom slash the R. If you want to do crack, this will get the video demonetized. Have a good one.