The Yard - Ep. 76 - We watched Avatar 2 on Mushrooms

Episode Date: December 21, 2022

This week, the boys discuss their experience watching Avatar 2, Slime joining fear& for another episode and how Mang0 nearly died after last week's episode.

do you guys ever uh when you're at the dentist or like the hygienist and they're cleaning your teeth and they put their finger in your mouth you ever just like accidentally like lick it this is just like this is just a tweet lick it. This is just like a, this is just a tweet. Is it? Yeah. This is actually, this has just happened before.

It's more than tweets and TikTok. Well, I genuinely, I, okay. Parallel thinking. I independently thought of this, but it,

it, I feel, I just thought of it. Cause, um, earlier Aiden took a bite of Ludwig's taco and then he had, he had sauce all over his beautiful mouth. Yeah.

And then Ludwig was like, let me clean your mouth for you now. And he did. He like rubbed his face and then he was like, why? And Aiden was like, didn't open his mouth and let him in. And I thought that was kind of... Ludwig was trying to push his napkin covered finger into my mouth. I was trying to clean

my lips. Between the sauce. But why didn't you let him in? Why didn't you ever let me in? This is a lot. This coming from you?'t you ever let me in? This is a lot. This coming from you? From you. Let me in more, man. Open up, bro.

We saw a great movie together last night. We bonded over that. You saw a movie last night? You guys went and saw a movie? Yeah, we went to Avatar at like 10, 15 p.m. Wow. And it is a three and a half hour movie. It's fucking long.

Was it just you guys? No. We, the Off-Brand guys had a plan to go. And originally it was to just take edibles. Call them what they are. The chuckle fucks. I refuse. That's what they are.

Can I rephrase it then? Yeah. My best friends and I watched Avatar The Way of Water. And the plan was to get high on edibles and watch it and then we thought well what if we escalate and take mushrooms no well that was the plan okay yeah all right but much like me and kaylin you couldn't find it that late well no no we have we have a zipper who's like mary poppins but instead of medicine is just like an endless bag of drugs. That's what Mary Poppins

was doing. We were joking about Aiden taking psilocybin and seeing Avatar and he's like, why weren't they blue? They're all skin colored. He's so high during Avatar and just like, why is the movie only humans? But I didn't take them. I don't think you did either. No. Who did? do you want to explain

i won't arc i won't arc probably zipper dude you came in this today and you saw zipper and you said hey you and i was like are you trying to fuck zipper right now that is such a flirty thing to say why can't i drop a hey you hey you it's like yeah i heard that i was just like i was like oh oh yeah oh my god oh my god He wants to kiss him How do I greet you? Do you want to hate you Sometimes? You know you

You actually Your face falls When you see me Your face falls Into like this weird Neutral state And you go I just lie under

And then you come up And hug me sometimes Okay I thought about hugging you today But I didn't Because I liked your shirt So I wanted to talk about it Yeah and you couldn't

Name who was on it Which was funny LD in yes Jake Paul That's actually Ken Chen and dr. Allen before they broke up Is that we worked on quake together so that was cool I don't know who is it actually David Lynch in Trent Reznor. Oh, they were made music for the I thought that actually was the quake logo I count that actually was the Quake logo. Alright, yep. He's kind of close. I count that answer. That's partial credit. Well done. Come on, baby. We get there. Anyway,

I didn't take the mushrooms because there was also edibles there and I overzealously took two of them. Two edibles? Two edibles and they were potent. Did you even take those? No. You're just a sober Samuel. I was a sober Samuel. So how was your experience watching Avatar?

Long. Yeah. But okay, we sat in these seats and they're 4D. They move. The seats are 4D. They will like, it's a 4D experience, the movie. You know, the 4D is time. Yeah, but in movies

you're already experiencing that dimension In movies and branding Movies are 2D 3D is the glasses And then 4D is when It physically interacts with you 4D is when chair move Or

Or that one Spy Kids movie Where you could scratch and sniff Or they Or they And like the girl avatar comes And then a pillow comes out To block your boner Then no one sees your boner

During the movie But you can still have You can still have a boner You're already to have a boner Because you saw the alien girl. But everybody is covered so that you can't tell who has the boner. And it plays the sounds of everyone beating off

so you're not sure who's doing it. That's smart, yeah. In every scene. It's like a Japanese toilet. It's not annoying. That's what Einstein said when he was writing all those theories. He was like, 4D is when chair moves.

Yeah, that was one of the theories do you think there's more more blue avatar porn or like ang the avatar porn 100 blue avatar it's way more widely seen yeah i guess that's true well i i think the fanatics of like avatar and people who grew up watching cartoons would rather see cartoons with penises and but yeah but holes right so I think that type of cartoon is more adjacent to this group of people that are okay zipper clicks is barred for wait oh so this oh it's got real I see I even close is good on rule 34 has 19,800 10 Yeah, it's got an avatar raw has 182 Yeah, that's where blink got their name

Avatar 182 Click on the bottom left one. I need that for research look what's happening Oh shit! Oh my god! It's laying over the leg and then bending down. You dick don't do that? That's tough. Wow. It looks like the bugs in Lion King.

That's uncircumcised by the way. Uncircumcised. Yeah. Yeah, the tasty ones. The tasty ones that Timon grabs and gives him. It's the comedy relief one in Bugs Life. That slug guy. Yeah.

Uh, yeah. I think I lost. I think it's Avatar The Last Airbender now after this movie it's gonna change up is it this movie's kind of is it hot and wild is there do any of the avatars squirt all the all the avatars are bipedal and tall do they like well they like both and they got i'm included they got boobs out and they got very scared they don't they got boobs out and they got very they got boobs out they had boobs out yeah but conveniently

the cloth never moved is unobtainium still in the movie? no mining is out he thinks it's still about mining we're not about mining we don't mind we don't mind

this is not hey Sully stick together Sully stick together baby it's a thing about us I'm more left out than you right now because I put myself out there We don't mind anymore. This is not... We don't mind. Hey, Sully, stick together, eh? Sully, stick together, baby. It's a thing about us. Anyway. I'm more left out than you right now. Because I put myself out there. I see that.

Here's what they've switched to. And slight spoilers, which don't matter because the entire movie... I promise you it doesn't matter. If the original Avatar was like... This is my... I wrote this. I took notes while high. And I wrote them down.

I'm going to write a paper. It says cornbread two. My first thought, and I wrote this in the first 30 minutes, it was avatars, just rugrats all grown up and they learn how to swim. And I think that's- P.S. Kimmy is there. That's like most of my experience.

And reptars kind of in the movie yeah kind of yeah because the entire premise is that they had the avatar people in the forest and then there was bad guys coming again and they said let's just ditch the forest people and try to save ourselves dare i say they want to learn the way of water so they went to the water zone but then they just followed the people to the water zone and so it's the same thing this is this is how i can best describe the movie it is the it is blue planet three if everything was made up and then there's just the shittiest subplot underlying it all like this they have the characters from the old movie in it yeah so the first 30iest subplot underlying it all like this they have the characters from the

old movie in it yeah so the first 30 minutes that's why i said all grown up is they have these like prayer beads or anal beads and then they count through them yeah and then it's like this is what happened over the past 15 years and then it's just time lapse so it's like we had a kid then we got married and then we had another kid and we had a lot of fun hanging out and then it's like boom now you are in present day. And this is going to be the next week, which is the story they tell in the movie. It was a great exercise in collegiate exposition. Yeah.

Yeah. It was a lot of tell no show. Interesting. Was it during COVID? Which is crazy. Was the movie three hours long? Were they wearing masks? Was it an allegory for Democrats?

There were masks. That's why they're all blue. There are masks. There are masks. No democrats there were masks that's why they're all blue there are masks no they're just different are they are they're the ones that keep us down that's what i'm saying there's also these there are those they have the you know the ones that you do when you're young and you snap it on your wrist yeah they had those but they were really strong and effective but they were real that Snap bracelets for incarcerating people. Snap bracelets, but for colonialism. Wow. I think,

do you know the name of the actor who plays the main guy in both of the movies? Sam Thorpe. Jake Sully. Sam Thorpe, I think. It's Jake Sully.

Sorry, Sully. Jake Sully just delivers every line like he's Sam Worthington on the toilet. You were just so wrong. I said Sam.

That's not so wrong. I'm half right. Wait, was that the first Avatar or the second Avatar, Zipper? It doesn't matter. It's the same guy in both movies. No, no, I'm talking about... In fact, it's also the same villain. That was the first one.

I was just, because I saw Michelle Rodriguez in there who dies, because she's like, she pretty much plays a cop and everything she's ever been cast in. So. Okay. Okay, hey, what? Give me the fucking, what's the Yelp? How many stars out of five? Okay, so here's the thing.

Not the Rotten Tomatoes or the Yelp. If Avatar was a restaurant, how good is the restaurant? I didn't get the Aiden or the experience of the other guys because we had the 4D seats that are supposed to move, which apparently were violently aggressive. And I never turned

mine on because i just thought it was broken and i just accepted it honestly how much will your movie ticket i hr paid for it okay no i don't believe that he lost a lot of i love the idea of him paying for your expensive ticket and you not using the features yeah i would do that out of pettiness i've made a truck-Rock give me like $2,000 this past weekend. You're calling in bets? We did a $1,000 bet on Hungrybox vs. Jmook and I won.

And then we did Best of One Foxido for dinner and that was $500 and I won. And then he paid for the movie tickets which I think was probably

like $300. I love bleeding that fucking squealing pig for every last drop he has. You know what I'm saying? And you feel that way too. And that's why he doesn't feel that way. I love bleeding that fucking squealing pig for every last drop he has. That I, well, you know what I'm saying? No, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no Give it back. I'm not doing that. Drops are falling on your tongue. They're not. And they're sweet. And you're not squeegeeing the windows either. You're leaving it all on there. You're leaving it on the windows. You think Atriac would be sweet? So it kicks. Yeah, because it's a little sweet, but it's a little sour too.

Why is he sweet? It's blood. He's gone. He's gone forever. Dang it. And I want to squeeze more out of him. I want to squeeze him until he's gone. Okay.

Wow. Aiden. Whoa. What did you think of the chair? The chair The chair made the movie I thought it made it better I enjoyed the movie more

Because of it I thought For you guys That's gonna be your little G-spot Yeah Yeah You were coming your little Head off

Coming your little head off dude You squirt like a city There's like a vibrate level You can click this There's a simian button You were going I was finding my way of water i was jealous after i was so mad that my seat didn't work and i didn't realize it yeah so you didn't get the

a-tron's coming i was like man i was coming you were not coming you were not coming a-tron i saw you i've seen you come oh i was coming nick allen's like yeah i was, I was coming a little bit too. Yeah. Yeah. I come. I've never tried Nick. I got to think about it.

You guys are funny. Uh, no, I was, I was, I was old. You guys saying this stuff. Just cause I'm old. That doesn't mean I can't come in my seat.

Yeah, that's right. That's right. That's right. I was coming to, uh, yeah, I was projecting. I was like, I was like. Yeah, that's right. That's right. That's right. Yeah, I was coming too. Yeah, I was projecting. I was like, it was probably shit anyway. You guys were moving too much.

It probably wasn't even cool. It's basically like a shitty Soarin' ride from Disney, but who gives a shit? This is cool, man. What was your rating? The movie? Yeah. Maybe like two, two and a half star. same as american ultra wow this movie was worse american ultra but your rating system's i thought about this recently i thought about this recently

and i think it's because my star system is not in line with what the the numbers actually are it's kind of like yeah three stars doesn't feel like a six out of ten and i thought about that a lot recently and i need to rescale like because as a society we need to come together and say when we sell call something a five out of ten it actually means like middle not terrible i think movies should be graded on a scale of 0 to 100. Who asked? That is great. I agree with that now. I was agreeing with you, but that's also a good point.

You know what I'm saying? I like him. I'm feeling a lot. I like him now. He's further away from me, and I like him still. Center on what? We pick either you or me, whoever side we're choosing, because I feel confused. I do 0 to 10, and then I add a decimal, so it's similar.

Okay. I'll do like 8.3 Yeah, that makes sense. Which is a harder scale. That is 83% I think I am with you in that 1 through 5 is just shit. Oh Rotten Tomatoes. Dude people really like it. I think I think the cool thing about the movie. 94 audience on Rotten Tomatoes 78 Oh if we use tomatoes to measure it's less but popcorn is more. Mm-hmm. Popcorn Did you think the spectacle of the movie is what is enjoyable about it like it looks fucking amazing it is it's fun to watch in the same way that like

a really cool aquarium is fun to watch right like it just visually looks amazing and that was like entertaining enough to kind of forget how shitty the plot is if you if you turned off the dialogue entirely and it was just the sound effects of the wilderness and the ocean and stuff and then like young lean is playing yeah and there's no conversation would you enjoy it would you enjoy it more i would i might have enjoyed the movie more if i was just watching fucking fucking if david attenborough came on if david attenborough was was narrating over over like said it like over fucking stocktown ghost town sp like that going on in the background or something i think the movie failed every time it tried to drive the story well that was again this

is just the first one but it sounds like this one's way longer this one is longer and there's more non like the first one there's a lot of fighting and this one is way more okay i wrote a few notes and one one that i think is apt is that the only reason they were allowed to call it acting performances is because they had the same girl cry again with the sad music like they did in the original avatar yeah that's the only scene where i was like oh they're acting yeah the rest of it was just like mocap suit video game performance yeah cut scene yeah i want to ask you something uh-huh because i so many things were funny to me and i know they were funny to you because you were laughing oh and we we were we were all laughing

like people in our group but i noticed that a lot of other people during most of the times we were laughing were not also laughing. And I left the theater and I was like, damn, were we assholes? Did we ruin that movie for other people in the theater? You can't ask him because he doesn't have shame about that. No, I think we were because I at the start of it, the trailers are playing and we have like a group. And so I stand up and it's like right after the trailers are about to end. I go, all right, guys, if it's bad, pretend it's good because Avatar means a lot to me. And then everyone laughs because it's like right after the trailers are about to end i go all right guys if it's bad pretend it's good because after means a lot to me and then everyone laughs because they're just fucking around and then there's two guys who are in front of us we're like yeah and maybe stop

talking trailers this is trailers that's funny oh someone barked at you no one said anything during the media because i think it's hard to say something when people are laughing. But it's like, there were definitely parts of the movie that are clearly supposed to be, like, hitting emotionally. And, like, our group of eight people is kind of gaffing it up. Sam Worthington. If it sucked, it sucked. And they're all Navi. And they're all speaking with, like, you know, their indigenous accent of the Navi people.

And then Sam Worthington comes up and he's like, it's fucking, it's fucking family, baby. Sully's a family. It's like, what is this? They still have people from Boston in the avatar. Actually. Boston PD, where the fuck are the blue people? it's just like it's him talking in his in his american accent to his son who has an like an african accent like a like a nigerian accent uh it just none of the movie makes any fucking sense the people who told you guys to shut up are just like god damn it he's so right no they were because

i so i started laughing at the start because i do my ludwig laugh and then and then and then but i was conscious of it so i was a little i was a little dulled because i didn't want to have them yeah because they get barked at you yeah and so but then the movie went on and then they started laughing at the dumb shit that i would start laughing at because it because it just got ridiculous it just got ridiculous that was so funny there's this thing where they're like hey shut up they like connect with animals and there's this whale and the Navi bonded with a whale it's like

the first time that the whale when the subtitle popped up it doesn't I'm trying to contextualize how fucking stupid this movie is for some of it there's this moment where there's like a whale and the Sun bonding and they're this is clearly like you know a direct

like allegory for what our relationship with like whales or wildlife in general or anything like in the real world oh fuck. You can't call her hot and say that. No, she's a BBW. Big, fussy whale. She's large and in charge. And has a blowhole, et cetera. I'll just go back to what you were saying. She's a narwhal princess.

One day you're going to look my mother in the eyes. One day you're gonna look My mother in the eyes One day you're gonna look At my mother in the eyes Maybe if you would invite me To come over Not much You wanna come with me You come to Hong Kong

No tomorrow She slaps you Across the face She would Honestly all your moms Lining up and just Beating the shit out of me Would be kind of fair

All your moms Oh you mean us Yeah I thought you meant All his moms Like you were saying Like all ten of his moms. That's...

A flight of moms. Yo, come on. All right. Sorry, I interrupted. The whale and the sun are... Who's not my mom. Who's not your... Not your mom.

Well, I mean... The whale and the sun. The whale and the sun bonding. We cut out everything we said and we just keep that in. We're like, dude, what? Yeah. We should cut out everything we said and we just keep that in. We're like, dude, what? Whales in real life are supposed to be like really emotional and intelligent. Like some of the most intelligent

species on earth like aside from us or like depending on how you measure it, like maybe more emotionally intelligent than we are. Aren't dolphins like hella smart? No, dolphins in the chat sound off. Or is it like a charmander smarter than humans like I wrote down a note

and I said the whales are no excuse me the Navi are pets for whales which is true I did the same thing when I was a teenager I would get high and write stuff and be like this is it I'm cracking the code well the logic is because the whales used to run the territory and then they out is i'm cracking the logic is because the whales used to run the territory

and then they outlawed murder like the whales the whales outlaw the navi respect that anyway son bonding with whale son bonding with whale they become friends whale saves his life whatever doesn't matter and he's talking to the whale who clearly has some understanding of what he's saying which i think kind of tracks yeah but But he is new to like Waterland, doesn't know any of that. They've made a whole show of how he doesn't know any of their sign language or like local customs in Waterworld.

Hasn't been there very long yet. This has been a problem for him. He's not able to communicate very well. We're day two with the whale and subtitles are popping up as the whale moves at him as if he can now understand him like it's taking him one day to discover whale language he's on duolingo yeah and and the first title it's a subtitle pops up and i know the whole idea of this franchise is like they can connect with the wildlife like through their through like the hair connection

right i think that i think that actually makes sense it's like a telekinetic like link i get that part they're not doing that the whale is just making noises and subtitles are coming up and he's like it's japanese previous scene in the previous scene he said i can't understand you that's great and now and now subtitles are just flying at the screen and i'm like crying laughing in my seat i just like when it popped out and said i can't understand you they're talking for like a couple minutes uh anyway i i think it's i think it's worth seeing i don't know if i would watch it again i will just read out a few notes please do i want to hear your inner thoughts this will maybe convince you or not convince you to watch it um this movie makes me want to breathe

zipper liked that one did zipper zipper was there zipper is breathe from here uh yeah breathe uh It's crazy they know CPR. You know what I was thinking? You know what I was thinking? When they were doing CPR was, you know that shit doesn't work, right? Like the mouth-to-mouth doesn't do anything.

They knew it though, which is tight. Wait, what do you mean doesn't do stuff? No, mouth-to-mouth like doesn't doesn't work it's like not an effective way of resuscitating somebody apparently i didn't know this can we fact check me but i've learned this i've learned this recently i i was gonna destroy the vibe but i'll let i'll let you finish here jake is a pussy okay yeah um that should have been your first note yeah why didn't he shoot the kid i don't remember why he wrote that no i know what part that is okay why didn't he shoot the kid i don't remember why he wrote that no i know what part that is okay why didn't he shoot the kid uh and then the weekend killed it does the weekend have a track that's

all my notes the weekend is an artist in the movie yeah or is he in the movie yeah so you have to see to find out but he killed it do you Did you watch You watched like the newest Star Wars movie right Like the newest newest one The ninth Yeah No Wait are you talking about

Like the ninth in this trilogy Do you know how they They just like They just like Yeah we uh We actually just have the guy back We actually just have the guy back This movie does the same

Yeah they did the same thing Yeah they just brought back the guy It makes no sense The box office will be The number one teller Of what really happens I mean it's crushing It's made half a billion dollars already yeah you're lying to my face you're the singer now speaking of mouth to mouth we we have not not finally we never because this happened right after the last pod episode was fucking mango at

dinner oh my god yeah dude oh tell us the story okay hold on hold on so we we go to this restaurant that me and atrioc have eaten that together uh like me and atrioc got lunch like two weeks before it atrioc it looks at this whole menu he's like he's like i don't eat fish and a lot of it is fish and i'm like oh that's cool you should maybe try these things and he goes no i'm not gonna take any of those recommendations i'm gonna order this big fucking fish it literally comes out it's a fish like it's like the like the fucking everything yeah tail and the eyes yeah everything and i'm like all right sure and he orders it and it comes out and it's like this dish that has like all of the fish bones still in it. So it's like the whole time he is like picking bones out of his teeth in his mouth and it

looks like it's so inconvenient to eat. And I'm like, are you having fun eating that? He's like, no, it's fucking, that's good. He won't admit that it's like difficult. You're talking about Atrioc or Mango? Atrioc. Okay. So that happens, right?

Fast forward to, we get dinner with Mango at the same place. And I make an announcement to the table. I say it like four times. I go, everyone, I don don't care what you order i'm not here to control you i just want you to know the intel i have atrioc has ordered this dish on the menu right here it's this one he's ordered this dish right here do not order it it's going to be so inconvenient you're gonna hate it you're not gonna like it like maybe the fish tastes good but you're gonna be picking bones out of your mouth all the whole night and so mango replies to that and goes i want soup and i'm like that's great that has nothing to do with what i said not to order that's great so mango just thinking that the entire bottom half of the menu is soup which is there's no reason to really think that yeah because there's a section there's

like a section like the section at the bottom right that are like the broth that it's just like regular dishes that are on a second part of the fish is it it so he goes all right i'm gonna order this the thing i said not to order and i say to him before he walks away i'm like that's the thing i said don't order and he looks at me he goes i just want soup and i'm like it's not soup and he goes whatever i like it i don't care and i'm like all right fuck it's in your hands whatever i told i gave you everything are we just bad at food like the bone situation is there someone who's just like and all the bones are gone no this is common if you get like a fish at this at spots like this you do have to sit there and pick them out but like this happens

certainly there's a way to pick them out yeah that's efficient effective quick and not a pain in the ass it depends on the type of like restaurant you go to like the way it's prepared yeah i don't know i mean i'm sure if you eat it every day you get really good at picking them out but you know who are we well i want to kill it so bad it's flying right here i don't want to be angry oh it's above your head now we we got a bunch of appetizers we got a bunch of appetizers at this place we just or that i don't know just a bunch of uh appetizers we got a bunch of appetizers at this place we just i don't know just a bunch of different food but there's a bunch of things that mango has never tried before and we're like you should try it like have a bite and he's like only if aid makes me a bite yeah and i have to eat unless he prepared him a bite and fed it so i'm feeding

mango different appetizers what's like an example, an example of one that you never had? Like, he never had, like, tuna. We got, like, tuna tartare. So, like, I'd make him a little bite on, like, a chip. And I'd, like, boop. That's so sweet. It warms my heart. So, we keep going.

He orders this fucking fish. And he's eating it. And I'm watching him pick all the bones out. And I'm, like, in my head, I'm, like, you're so stupid. Like, you just didn't listen. And then, he gets a like a cartoon character he gets a bone stuck sideways in his throat like it's here and he's like and you see it bouncing around and um and he's like he's starting to go like oh there's a bone in my throat and i'm like yeah bitch of course there's a fucking bone in your throat you just swallow food you don't chew you listen to me either and uh and i'm i'm parading him like you didn't listen

when i said he's like i didn't listen to you i'm like i know i'm telling you didn't listen you're not even listening now and and uh and uh so he keeps he keeps trying to get this bone out he's trying different weird methods he's like he's doing anything but what you would do fucking normally by the way but what actually works this whole dinner this whole dinner he's doing anything, but what you would do fucking normally, by the way, but what actually works whole dinner, this whole dinner, he's been fucking, he's been like Ben, Ben, we got to get some sake. Ben, we got to get some beer. He's force feeding alcohol. He's just, and he won't.

So Ben, Ben's along for the ride. He's, he's only drinking alcohol. Then he gets the bone stuck and he has a, he still has a beer, sake and a glass of water. He has not touched all night and the bone is stuck in his throat he keeps complaining about it after nick has reprimanded him and i'm like dude drink water what would any normal human being in this situation do drink the water he's like i won't drink it he's like i'm not a bitch i'm not a bitch and i'm like dude you're choking it's nothing to do with that he's like i'm not a bitch that's crazy at some point he

gets on the wave that he's like he's like aiden you gotta you gotta blow in my throat aiden yeah he's not saying cpr he's saying morty morty you gotta you gotta blow my throat and i lean over and i say aiden as the resident bisexual you need to do this and mango goes aiden's bisexual oh you're definitely blowing down my throat and aideniden's like, I'm not going to blow down your throat. And we're all talking about how Aiden's fucked up. And eventually I caved. I even caved. I'm like, I will blow in your throat if you just drink a glass of water.

Please try the water. Is the logic here that he wants you to push the bone through the air? He wants me to dislodge. He wants me to dislodge the bone in his esophagus by blowing into his mouth. That is his plan. And he refuses to drink water. So instead of trying anything that we tell him, we keep suggesting things. And if anyone says try drinking sake, he drinks it.

But if anyone says drink water, he goes, no way. That is insane. So he starts to Google. He would die from stubbornness. Like he would just. Yeah. He starts to Google. What do you do when you're choking?

And one of it's like try eating more food to push it down. One of it's like, try drinking soda to like break it down with acid. And I have a soda on the table and I'm like, here, mango, the thing you just read that you, that you know is good. Do it, do it now. And so he takes the soda, he holds it and he goes, no, gives it back to me. And I'm like, what's wrong with you? What is wrong with you?

Why did he say why? No, no, he just didn't. He wouldn't explain anything. He was like, you can't, you can can't you can't lead him to water and the whole night he gets in more and more excruciating pain and he's like no no i feel it going down i feel it and we're like okay this way down we're like kind of ignoring him at this point because it's been like 20 minutes and he's not doing anything to help himself i finally order a hot like a hot water from the desk like maybe warm water will relax his throat it'll go down i am I'm like, here's your hot water, Mango.

And he's like, I'm not drinking that. And I'm like, that is the last attempt I make to help you. That was my last attempt. Dude, he went to the ER. And he is wasted. He is fucking hammered. He's very drunk.

This is my goat. He starts to look at me in bed and he's like, you guys think I'm drunk, huh? And I'm like, yes. I'm like, yes. That has nothing to do with you choking, but absolutely I'm I'm at the end of the night show us a picture oh yeah it's on his twitter zipper of him so

eventually mango uh he needs to take an uber home and I'm making sure that he doesn't get fucking hit by a car because he's like he's like calling the guy in in the uber and he's like where are you and I don't think it doesn't matter what the guy even says to him he's just like huh he's not hearing a word he's saying so I'm just corralling mango i'm making sure he keeps crossing the street without waiting for the signal so i'm like making sure he gets across and shit and then uh he finally gets into his uber i make sure he gets home and then he goes to the fucking er that that night he posts a picture on twitter it just says like fucking like aiden did this to me or something yeah i went home so i'm just literally seeing like kind of just like tweets here and there and then there and then

it's just like Mango in the ER he's just like this is Aiden's fault and I'm like what happened I can't believe you did that to him just this is I and now it's and then by the end of the night I'm almost gaslighted to thinking this is my fault, by the way. I'm like sitting there. That's why he's one of us. And I'm wondering, like, should I have blown down his throat? Thank God. Thank God I got bailed out the next day. Dr. Noodle Slam comes into my DMs unprompted. I hate you, Aiden.

He's in an ER bed. Looking like he's suffering. In the shirt with my face on it. Oh, my God. That's so fucking funny. In the shirt with my face on it Oh my god it's so fucking funny And uh Dr. Noodle Slam told me that

If it's in his esophagus And he's breathing okay he just needs to go to the ER It would have been funny though If you blowed down his throat And perforated his esophagus Which is apparently Which is apparently the risk Of you create too much

Like pressure and their Esophagus just tears So good thing I didn't fucking do it Yeah but you know what you should have Cause your friend asked you to You didn't know that you're just a dick Don't yeah fuck you No I had an idea it might be bad

Uh that's really funny Yeah Mango almost died. That was almost over from a fish. I mean, I feel like when Mango goes down or honestly, one of us, it should be from something as minor as a fish bone. Or a fish like, yeah. Also, ever since this night, because we drove to the restaurant together, he put on a tongue tied by group love and he just DMS me the lyrics to the song. Like every day I get a mango DM that says, take me to your best.

That's like, he has a crush on you. That's cute. We, uh, me and Aiden went and saw the whale, uh, the Aronofsky movie.

Yeah. And, uh, it was really sad. And we come out and I'm like, I'm like fighting back tears. I'm like, damn, I was fucking really sad. And I i'm like i'm like choked up a little bit i'm walking out and this guy comes up to us and goes can i just shake your hand and in my head i'm like

like because we're warriors who made it through the movie i was like i'm like kind of like in my head like yeah sure man like we did it and then he was a yard fan oh yeah that was his way of just saying like hi and in my head for like a while i was like this guy and me or we both made it through yeah i i am based for watching that movie but i just i wanted to say at the end of the movie talk because i thought it was funny when i was uh i saw a movie called my dog skip by with frankie muniz where the dog uh gets hit with a shovel the original shovel dog at the end no don't say that it's at the end and then uh and then the dog dies because it's a movie about it's like it dies of all ages shovel beats dog shovel beats dog and shovel type is 3x and um and i remember that we went with like it was me and two of my friends. And like one of our moms like took us to see this movie.

And this kid is just crying, like in our friend group. His name is Dylan. And he's just crying his head off. And he's like, it reminded me of my hamster. And we're walking outside of the movie theater. I'm like eight, maybe nine, 10, whatever. I'm like embarrassed. Because you're with him?

Yeah. I'm like, we got to go. Like this is, dude, it's a movie. You're with him? Yeah. I'm like, we gotta go. Like, this is dude, it's a movie. You're a born hater. I was a born hater. You're a decorated hater. Oh my god. If anyone thinks I hate for the fucking cloud or something, don't even start, bro.

No one thinks that. No, some people do think that. They think that it's a whole bit fucking born to hate, bro. It's also not something that's better. It just means I'm authentic. It might even be worse. I don't know. You're being an asshole right now.

You're being a fucking asshole right now. You're on the line. Just took your corner. I'm not an asshole though? You're getting there. I'll take that. I'll take that. What would he hate about The Whale, which is not a movie about my mom?

What would he hate about it? Aiden's mom. You're asking what he he hate about it? Aiden's mom. You're asking what he'd hate about it? Isn't it like an artful movie? Don't I love art? I don't know. You hated Black Swan. I did hate Black Swan.

I had a crisis though. I was sitting there watching Black Swan and I'm like, I think this is stupid just because I don't really care about dancing. Is this just whiplash for girls and I'm being an asshole? And I had to think about that. well i i'd argue because of the timeline whiplashes is black swan for boys

exactly and it's like am i am i not opening my mind to this idea of something that i can't connect with so i think it's stupid and i thought about it a lot i still think it sucks you'll never play what did you say to me you'll never pot a bourree. I have dancing feet. Look at my arches, you piece of shit. Look at my fucking arches. Look at them. I have bigger arches. You have to get low.

Ooh. What is that? This punishes you more than us. We did a question on the advice show very recently related to ballet and we were talking about like wanting something so badly that you'll you'll do or like sacrifice your health and happiness over yeah to reach the end goal and i was like like literally in black

swan she is doing that and then i was like wait oh yeah that's what happens at the end of black swan i remembered what happened recalled black swan i remember how black swan ended like in the middle of answering the question and i was like maybe don't do that actually wait wait wait just devote your life to it until like you have an untimely death like i think that's probably the best course of action and like maybe people remember that for decades yeah that's why we still talk about black swan and we don't talk about the other girl yeah it was really funny because like because it started off with like us giving our perspective on like like throwing all of yourself at something at the expense of your health and then i and then i read the person's age and it was like like the person writing it was 17 oh fuck and I was like ah just kidding yeah you know what I do

have a good adolescence first I'm like ah go to prom yeah enjoy prom make beautiful memories with your friends

uh wait I was gonna zipper I sent you a picture of Aiden if you could pull it up this is this is funny because we did we just got off the heels of the scuff

world tour as a 16 person melee tournament put together and ultimate tournament sorry running concurrently which is crazy that we didn't know that you could do that on the same channel uh until yeah yeah good feature uh this is aiden becca took this photo which is why it looks very very pretty and hilarious because aiden looks like he's fucking from a war but this is just how he always sits and i think 1819 in the bunker world war yeah this is just how he always sits.

And I think this is... 18-19 in the bunker World War. Yeah. This is so interesting because like this was pretty low stress tournament, right?

Everyone was there. It was double limb. It wasn't a big deal. It was one day. Yeah. The vibes were amazing. Everyone's having a good time. But you still look like

you are one bullet away. No, that's accurate to how Aiden's felt the past two weeks. Is that true? I want your insight here, Aiden. Yeah, that's accurate to how Aiden's felt the past two weeks. Is that true? I want your insight here, Aiden. Yeah, I think it's mostly just because it's on the tail end of a bunch of stuff. It was like, okay,

this is the last thing. But I feel like you look like this a lot. No, not those eyes. I was going to say. Not those eyes. That is exactly Falco's eyes. This is the face of a man who needs to hold something. Like, he needs someone to hold him. Yeah, you're holding yourself.

Dude, this is just funny. You need Zipper 3 to just pet your head. He was in his chair most of the day, and then I sat in his chair because I needed to log into Stream Elements. And while I was there, in the short, like, three minutes, someone walked over from production, and they're like,

hey, Aiden, what's the next match coming up? And I was like... To you? Yeah yeah because i think of the bleachers me versus mango so i was like i was like i can do this i was like um yeah it's uh let me pull it up and then i pulled up like this spreadsheet it shows every match and every time slot i was like here it is say it's supposed to be like in game versus did you do the aiden voice yeah yeah and then he's like and then he's like he's like all right like can i have access to that and i'm like let me check and then i pull up like the thing and it shows that it's being shared with all of the production team i was like i think you should already be shared with it there's someone there that didn't know you uh yeah that's based on

production they knew aiden and not you wait no they didn't because they couldn't recognize aiden they knew aiden was guy right yeah yeah. They knew that's the Aiden chair. Yeah, yeah. That's really funny. So I cry. And you know what? And you report it, right? You gotta stop.

Yeah, I report a match. I report a match. You gotta stop acting like it's hard. That's what I'm saying. Running tournaments is crazy, bro. I didn't say it was hard. Thank you for finally saying that all you do is cap Aiden. All you do is cap.

I didn't say it was hard. All you do is say, hey, can you come and then say 3-1. Yeah. See, you're yoking right now. I actually think that about this style of tournament. This one is easier for sure. It's the pre-pro that helps. It's the run-up.

It's the getting the flights the players the hotels the people to do at the venue it's also a big stressor is offloading the actual the production the broadcast to a team like juna's waveforms yeah which is like that's huge that's probably the most intense turnaround is like planning a large-ish scale production on the timeline that we had and waveform headed up by juna manage all of that and that's the most it's the same thing with boxing like although boxing was a very difficult event regardless of the production side but like the monumental part of the effort that goes into like executing the show that you watch is the production team and they are planning out and doing all of that and

it's the same goes for this where i uh you just put it in their hand you delegate yeah and this was just a double elim tournament that ran one set at a time i was worried about some stuff for like the first few hours which was kind of a pain but after that it ran smooth but i think i'm i go into this fucking mode where like there where i'm just like i feel like something has to be wrong so I'm like clicking through tabs pacing around like thinking yeah you look insane that's the three juvies that's what that's

doing to you I did only did one and a half juvies don't say did juvies yeah I did some juvies like they're blunts I've had I've had coffee my entire life with like no real effects so I've had coffee before bed life With like no real effects So I've had coffee before bed

Gone to bed nicely all this stuff But I never drink energy drinks I haven't had a sip of an energy drink Since like I don't know maybe like middle school or something And our fridge is full of fucking juvie right now Because we had to take photos of it So I was like It was like 10pm the other night

And I'm like ah fuck it I'll just drink this thing that's here I don't have coffee I drank a juvie. And I didn't feel awake, but it was impossible to sleep. I literally stare at the ceiling until like 5 a.m. It's interesting. I just stayed there. I was like, I can't.

I just can't go to bed. You had the one at what's it called? You said to infect you. The one at the half. I think it was because it was extra in the daytime. Like, like, I didn't feel any more awake. Like, I was exhausted. But it just like if I't feel any more awake like i was exhausted but it just like if i tried to sleep i did my brain was just like vibrating i'm like oh can't fall asleep

can't do it but i was really tired dude you want to hear about people not sleeping you want to know why josh man didn't get any sleep wait for what for the tournament he had no sleep why yeah why did josh have no sleep i'm driving to uh where was i going i was driving somewhere uh and i get a call from josh man and i i hit the hands free and he's like hey i'm like what's up he's like can i take this adderall that's on the fireplace oh no i'm like i'm like yeah what time is it i don't care uh this. This was like in the morning. This was like 11, like before noon. And I was like, yeah, sure. Because I don't take it anymore because I had heart palpitations.

It wasn't because of the Adderall, but it was just my heart in general was kind of weird. You're off Adderall? Yeah, I've been off it for how long? Yeah, he's been off it for age? Four months. Whoa. But I can't take it anymore. Whoa, do you feel different?

Are you back to nappy bears i'm a nappy guy it's also like it's harder to focus but it did help me like learn how to refocus without it which is a good thing uh it also is nice to feel like i don't ever i don't need it like when i got off it i was like i i wasn't like oh i need this shit to to come back to normal i was like okay i'm just not i don't need to take it you take it. Which just feels good. You don't need to take it. That's not true. It just means that I literally have ADHD. You can stop whenever you want.

Shah's got addicted and lost his whole career. Is that what happened? It affects me in a way that is healthy instead of like meth. But we bought a new car. Your mileage may vary. So anyway, I don't take anymore. I still have some um because you know i just had to stop taking it but i still kept it and they're the extendos they're 20

milligrams which is 10 and 10 so it's like an eight hour 10 milligram like ride which is like not crazy i've taken yours once to do the podcast after like a 24 hour stream and you were you were kind of effective you were up it was an effective drug and i i feel like i'm my dad in a lot of these situations where if someone asks i just gotta say yes not like is not what a dad is like i don't know my dad oh okay because i was like i'm like a dad i just say yeah when i started smoking weed i would go like my dad found out and i'd be like dad can i like can i like have some of the weed can i like roll a joint he's like yeah like what's he gonna say no he's smoking too yeah right he's gonna say no yeah like this is dad stuff yeah and it's like so i have this

like problem in my mind where my son josh is like hey can i have this and i'm like i mean look i'm like yeah sure and i was like uh you're going to want to take it now. Drastically different, by the way. This is, Josh is an adult. So it's like, you can make an adult decision. Your dad telling you to roll a joint when you're a kid. He didn't tell me to, he said I could. And he said, this is how you do it, by the way. He didn't show me.

Because he was based. No, you're right. This is one-to-one. Either way, he calls me up. He's like, hey, can I take this? And I'm like, yeah sure i was like all right it's it's gonna last for eight hours so you're gonna want to take it like right now and drink a lot of water because it'll dry you out and uh yeah go for it man you know be be easy god

and uh and he did he takes it i come home he's like i clean my room i I practice melee all day. I'm ready. I'm ready to play. I'm like, oh, fuck. And so he takes it. And then he drinks a coffee at like 8 p.m., probably when it's wearing off, and he just can't go to sleep. And he literally, I wake up in the morning because we had to go early for talent stuff,

and he was going to show up early as well to the tournament. This is on Saturday, and on Sunday is the tournament. Wake up in the morning. He comes into my room. It's like nine. My alarm goes off.

He always does. He's like, hey, Josh Ebert is here. Let's go get coffee. And he's like, I didn't sleep at all. Bro, it's game day. He's like, I know it's going to be bad. But he's like, he's still kind of wired. And I'm like, what the fuck?

How does this happen? He also had a tough bracket. Who did he lose to? It was like Juan and Plup. It was Juan and Plup. Honorable losses. It was insane because fiction turned it up and beat Plup. You hate him.

Juan? No, Joshman. Why do you hate Joshman? Why do you want Joshman to be last losing to Juan and Plup? No, man. Make him play Indian. Just a tough bracket. Make him play Indian.

That's not how seeding works. Oh, you get to make the rules. I don't make the rules actually You actually I actually do make the seating You literally make the seating And the rules But I pawned it

Off Oh yeah you did To the team Now that I got your attention Ludwig take us away Zipper was like Ludwig take it from here If you don't know by now

We have a proud sponsor of the stream Factor it's a ready to eat oh god you are such a you're a husk of a man we are doing a podcast

I'll show you I'll show you speed uh you assuming I'm a human that's Eminem realize realize factor

a ready to eat meal delivery service they shop prep cook and deliver to your door. Hey, and it's ready to eat in two minutes. Dietitian.

Shut up. Everyone stop it. Shut up. Okay. I'm hungers. Do you understand? Hunger? Don't touch my foot.

Jesus. What if I told you? You know, Slime privately told me that he could never go back to living in a closet because once he tasted the joys and wonders of factor meals i'm gonna he will never switch back i'm gonna kill you when you're sleeping you know what he ate lovely that changed his mind it was the pancakes and sausage wait he hasn't talked about how he loves that sausage from factor turkey chili and zucchini was what changed my life but i could still live in a closet and i could still live on the street if i wanted the nice part is that you just heat it up

what if you didn't have a microwave in the closet you can do it in the oven you could do it if you didn't have an oven and you can cook it over an open flame of a barrel and here's the facts of the matter oh ludwig i'm keto they have that they have that you fucking idiot if you're vegan if you're veggie they got 34 different meals and plus we keep it and we keep it simple if you're going to if you're pescatarian go to factor no no you messed it up already go to go go go to dot factor 75.com slash the yard 60 why is there two numbers it is insane this is like factor we keep every week we ask for a better link playstation 2 rpg title let me say it right go to go to Minecraft and type in the seed go dot factor 75 comm slash the r60 and build a house there yeah just go to factors website and use promo code the yard six yeah You get 60% off your first box, which is ironic because my first box

was 60 years old. Are you okay? What? What's that? You actually get it for free if you use LogMeIn. I was 16 at the time. Back to the podcast.

I told this story on broadcast on stream yesterday, but I lost a shit ton of money playing Super Smash Brothers Ultimate. Oh, yeah. What was this? No.

I went to an offline TV holiday party and and I showed up late because it was right after the Jerma thing, which was which was dope. I don't think I saw

the Jerma thing. It was so sick. I saw some of it. It was tight. It was funny. It was so funny seeing all of like the Beyond the summit rooms and then germa in them it was weird i don't know how to describe it yeah he's walking through the hallway that way he used to like walk it was like when timmy turner was in the jimmy neutron episode i was like what's going on here that's how i felt because we're in like the right subsection of twitter where i can see

all the posts that are excited to see Wrangler on a Jerma stream. Yeah. Did you see my clip I was on? Because I went to Hasan's because he wanted me to do unbanned with him. And he's watching the Jerma thing right when I get there. And I posted a clip on which I was like, is that Wrangler? And I saw 30,000 Hasan

viewers that hit, that's the best Donkey Kong player in the world. We were watching it in the living room and I go, Zipper2's like,'s like is that ringler and i'm like yeah that's ringler and she's like huh and i'm like he's only fans now i can see i can see in her eyes she's like am i asleep what's going on oh by the way he's tricking you out i got turned out and switched he's turning you out dude you gave me so much shit for getting turned out I did

and look at you I know two podcasts on fear and here's how it works and he's tricking you on every stream podcast episode podcast episode

it was on stream I did it last night you switched you switched I'll tell you switch switch switch

show us your pubes let me tell you they're dyed blonde now the mohawk down the middle we'll have demanded it Switch! Switch! Switch! Switch! Switch! Show us your pubes! They're dyed blonde now. It's a mohawk down the middle. We'll have demanded it. No, this is how it works. And now I understand Ludwig's plight. But Ludwig, I always thought, was doing it out of a out of a shill. It's different when I do it.com. No, it's not different.

I'm saying it's not different. I assumed it was when he did it because he just needs his butt to be filled at all times. Yeah, his big filled butt. You need his big, nasty filled butt with like juice. This isn't homophobic. It's not homophobic. It's just what you need.

Thanks, Abe. Thanks, Abe. It's just what you need because you need it. And so, okay, I'm at a sans. You want to stand by that one. You want to stand by that one. Right now. Right now.

You stand by me now. Right now, stand by him. He needs the juices in him. Because you need it. All right. All right. No, no, no. We know where you sit.

You switched after dating Goral for so long. Yeah, you've become way more homophobic. No, okay. I go to Sunstream. I do the unbanned forums. It was fun. And then after, he's like, okay, Will's coming over, and Cutie's coming over, and Andrea's coming over, and we're going to do the pod.

And then he asked me live. Oh, hello. Spilled water on the grass. Watering the grass. That's right. He asked me, he's like, do you want to do the pod? And I'm like- How many is that?

Five, six? It's like at the six. Do you want to hook up? Yeah. Dude, it was like, and I was like was like oh I guess I'm not doing anything and like he's kind of tall so it's like and you just

he asks you and then I was like ah you know what like you know me like I get burnt out quick I'm like ah I'm kind of tired and he's like you don't have to do it

it's cool yeah you don't have to and then I'm like but like maybe it'd be good for the yard and like maybe good for my career he kind of smells nice

too look at you you fucking turned out and that's and that's the thing about you you switched i didn't switch you gave me so much shit it's cool to see them have uh have wills i guess yeah that's that's the running joke for sure i also i i put a concept up i was like let's marriage counsel this and i got them to work through their issues because they need fucking podcasters to fucking help them out uh but it was fine but that's what i'm saying it's like he asks you and you're like i guess i don't have anything going on you know and then he and then he fucking he says pop those pants off brother yeah and then he fucking i guess i do want to hook up you know all right so yeah i was on there so you but i did it for us no you

know you're sorry for what you said to me weeks ago now but but i i i have it's mushy it's like a butterscotch snack pack he's not squeezing he doesn't know like jelly you never know for sure it's like it's like tapioca it's like tapioca i think he's strong uh i could arm wrestle you be pretty good i'm afraid i'm afraid of arm wrestling now yeah that's a good point it's like when kobe died i literally was like i'll just never go on a helicopter i'll be happy never drive never being one of those for the rest of my life now i'm like arm wrestling yeah do i care that much sa nick just in the sky 50 transparency um i did it for us like look a lot of people are gonna watch that show

they're gonna be like ooh a VR I bet that's funny I'm the number one and two most viewed VR episodes but I helped true

I will say I sit here now before my friends and I say I'm sorry I said you got turned out like a nasty little bear

because you needed it because you needed it so bad inside of you we'll end it at the first part, I'm sorry. I said you got turned out like a nasty little bear. Because you needed it. Because you needed it so bad inside of you. We'll end it at the first part. And I'm sorry I said that you... I'm about to raise a flag on the flag. That you need to be filled like a juice pitcher. Hey, flag, flag, flag. You need to be filled up like a big...

Flag's up, flag's up, flag's up. Like a big old... Ref's talking. It's all yellow. Ref's talking. You're going to fall one more. I can just keep giving yellows these days

I'm sorry I'm sorry oh wait is it two yellows it's a red two yellows you're out the yellows

is a red um I cause Hasan lightly mentioned coming on the podcast at some point

to uh to me and to Nick and uh I am excited because I have always wanted to talk about politics with hassan but i'm scared because i think i will be outclassed what there's no shit yeah don't worry we won't let you guys talk about that boring shit we'll have a fun podcast

that would be insane i i watched his one episode he did with Choppo, and I was like, that's why I want to do it. Really? Yeah. Is that your aspirations? I think it's just fun to talk. I think I like talking about that stuff. Also, we need more women on this show. That opened my eyes.

Well, Neff. Also, he gave me juice on Michael Barbaro. My Michael Barbaro hate is totally validated because there's tweets from way back michael babarro's like like narking on homeless people in the new york subway telling the cops to come get them no yeah michael yeah see if you can find it i guess he just wants to like clean up the streets dude it's so i said it and his son instantly is like bro you gotta see this and i was like i knew it I knew he sucked he just believes in safety I'm gonna

message Michael on Twitter again for context I invited Michael Barbaro to come on the yard I sent him a fat DM that like is like come on the show maybe that was because I thought you were going for that you're stumping the daily I don't know how it compares to like Rogan because it's on two different platforms but the daily

is like the biggest podcast in the world on Apple podcast. Smaller than. Smaller than Rogan. Smaller than Joan. Definitely. But it is the biggest. Cause Michael doesn't take fucking psilocybin pills and talk about the third dimension.

Also Charter. It's him, him and Sabrina. We're Sabrina Tabernisi fans now. I'm down for Sabrina. Tweet at Michael, say you're no longer invited. Sabrina, you're in. That's what I'm saying. I'm down for Sabrina. Tweet at Michael, say you're no longer invited, Sabrina, you're in.

That's what I'm saying. I'm going to message Michael. I'm like, you're out, Sabrina's in. That'd be great. I would love Sabrina Tabernisi. Podcast charts are dumb the way they work.

Why? Because they're all curated. So like number one doesn't necessarily mean the most listeners or most fans. It's just like Spotify is like that one.

Andrea said she listens to the yard sometimes. You don't know. Really? Yeah, I was so surprised. Wow. But I was like, is like that one. Andrea said she listens to the yard sometimes. You don't know. Really? Yeah, I was so surprised. Wow. But I was like, that's so nice. Dude, I got, at Jess Boxing, I got a DM from Alexandra, and she was like, hey, my dad

apparently gave his bag to a Nick, and I don't know which one. That's a hard problem. And I thought, I was like, I'm like, this is really funny, because it could be one of like seven Nicks. What? And I thought I was like, I'm like, this is really funny because it could be one

of like seven Knicks. What? There was somebody in the comments after the last episode and we had a whole anecdote about Nick Allen fucking something up.

Oh, it was about the tickets. It was about the tickets and then the VIP. And then this person in the comments just goes off on you. Yeah.

Thinking that a lot of people think I made the mistake. I get that a lot. I love what you did with LCS. Yeah. And I it's you who made the mistake. That's really... I get that a lot. I love what you did with LCS. Yeah, thank you. And I think that you should be given medals. Thank you. You were...

Also, your two kids are so beautiful. I know. I love them to death. Your peach is bad, though. Well... Look, that's a given. Ice cream was fine. Anyway, I was at an offline TV holiday party.

Yeah. You know what's funny? Real quick. Sorry. That's crazy. This is crazy. This holiday party. Yeah, you know what's funny? Real quick, sorry. That's crazy. This is crazy. This is crazy. No, no, no.

The reason I knew that this happened. No, you want to be filled up. Wait, let's go back to you getting filled up. You obviously went to an offline TV holiday party so you could get fucking filled to the brim like a jar of ice tea. And you were in so many. Fuck! Say what you're going to say so we can finish this fucking story. Christ.

They all were talking about going to this thing. And I'm just T-posing. Like, because I'm not invited. Right? But they're all, like, talking about going. And I'm like, after the podcast, I'm like, okay, see you later. And then I was like, oh, Ludwig must be going to that to get build up. How was it?

I showed up very late because I did the German thing. I went to dinner with German that A-Track paid for, which was delightful. Love that. So I show up at, like, 1130. I show up late, late. Cause I did the German thing. I went to dinner with German that a track paid for that, which was delightful. So I show up at like 1130. I show up late, late. And, uh,

and, and my only goal going there was to get drunk and hang out with Lily Pichu. Cause she's like, Hey, we should hang out and get drunk. And I said, sounds great,

Lily. And I show up and I immediately start chugging soju bottles. Cause it's all they have is like 50 soju bottles. And everyone has their own. And it's like the ones that you're supposed to. So I'm like, all right. So I just start chugging a soju bottle. Talk a bit, hang out, whatever.

And then while I'm standing there chatting, who walks over but Will Neff. Who says, doubles in Melee? Right now. It's me and Noah. He was talking shit on the pod. In Melee? Yeah. No, excuse me, excuse me. Smash.

Ultimate. Ultimate. Because it's like, it's in Melee? Yeah. No, excuse me, excuse me. Smash. Ultimate. Oh. Because it's like, it's in Melee? I was like, that's just a bad. Yeah, yeah. It was Ultimate. Because like any party

that you go to that has like any semblance of nerds will have a Smash Ultimate set up. Will is also, he challenged me in Aiden to Mario Strikers. He's competitive and he backs it up

in anything physical and anything involving gaming. He's very underwhelming. I think it's safe to say. Yeah. Well, he got, they got. Yeah. If we play flag football, he's going to dice my shit.

100%. Yeah. Uh, and well, uh, and, uh, and so they have the ultimate setup and it's like on their big 75 inch TV and it has like 15 milliseconds of delay, whatever. And so he's, he's like, you want to play? And I look over and it's like, I'm talking with Carl and I'm like, Carl, you want to do it? He's like, yeah, let's do it.

Yeah, Carl Jacobs. And so it's me and Carl against Will Neff and Noah Jay. And it's a best of three in ultimate. And immediately it starts. Are items on? And items are off and it's doubles. But I immediately noticed that they picked King K. Rool and Mewtwo and their strategy is that they turned team attack off

Which is cringe so he's throwing him through his teammate and more worse is King K rule He throws his hat and it's a boomerang it comes back And yeah It was a cannonball and it goes through his teammate and his teammate is right in front of us like dash attacking and brawling And shielding yeah, and but then i just get hit by a projectile and i'm like this is cringe you're playing the grape ape and i'm playing the i'm playing the great ape i'm playing donkey kong and carl's playing villager and he's pretty new so he's just kind of like tree and he's like i'm doing my thing i'm like keep it up carl uh and uh and will's also bad because he's just throwing hats and no is

actually pretty competent he's played like guess, a lot of it. So we win game one. Game two goes down to me, one stock, them four stocks. And miraculously, I managed to get two stocks off of them. They hit me. It does that smash ultimate thing

where it goes, and it looks like I'm about to die. They pop off. While they pop off, I return, dash attack, they fall off stage. I kill Noah. And then I 1v1 will

at like 100 plus percent i just beat him oh let's go it was so tight insane comeback that is very and and and i was it was great because during all this they're like aren't you the smash guy i hate this i hate this i hate this it's visceral i know it's visceral i hate it also secret lore not secret on the fucking pod or like that i did with them i was talking about i brought up melee and i was like yeah melee's just it's the best game and then will starts going do you really think that like if you're playing melee at a high level you're cheating and i was like what are you talking about how do you wave dash and like you air dodge into the ground oh you air dodge into the ground and i'm like dude

i fucking hate this he's just hating for no reason melee thinks he's based at ultimate this is wait this is just you hating for no reason thinks you're based anyway this is all just you oh no it was actually me buying myself my room yeah so so they uh they immediately are like best of five and i'm really hesitant i'm like oh i don't know man wait middle of the set changing it to best of five after we i win the best three they're like best of five oh i'm like i've learned to never accept those just say new best of three i don't know i'm like i don't know i don't know about all that and then and then i'm like tina's there i'm like tina what do you think she's like i don't want to watch more smash

and so i'm like a normal person all right and so we boot up the best of five and it gets sweaty like noah changes his character he's rocking like the we fit trainer oh and he starts going a little crazy he's unedged guardable and we suddenly end up in a game five situation that we lose and all of a sudden i went from hero to like kind of uh disheveled i'm looking over at carl he's like i can keep making the trees and chopping if you want but this is about all i got we have a lot of wood and i got like sweating there's six total socks i got like five still off the whole time and anytime i bring it up they're like shut up nerd and then anytime they win they're like smash guy which is annoying because i can only lose when you play like 20 hours of ultimate exactly and so i'm like the

only way to win is winning so i'm like fine best of seven and you know i win one i win one lose one i go game seven i brought like my fox out at work i switched back to donkey on game seven i lose again and i'm like oh fine i just like i'd sd because like i'm trying to upb but there's delay and it's so gross and everything sucks. And, uh, are you playing on a GameCube controller? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. And,

uh, and then they pop off, they pop off and I'm mad at this point. Yeah. I'm fucking annoyed. Cause they, cause they're doing team attack off. They're playing like cringe Lords and they're like,

like literally like yelling when they win and they're calling me smash guy. I went with you, man. It's losses all the way around. And then finally I'm like, like Noah, $10,000 money match right now. Oh. And he's like, he's like, I have to think about this and like noah jay is like if

you don't know call duty youtuber zombies guy he has like five million subscribers he's he's well off he can he's what i didn't know is also pretty competent at ultimate plays like a lot at house parties with friends and i have smash guy tenure but i've only ever played melee and i don't even play that game and for those who don't understand, it is significantly different. Yes. It is like so... It doesn't look different when you're watching them. So different.

But it is different. Yeah, you need to know matchups. There's a lot of them. And so he's like, yeah, I'll do it. And we do best of one. What? Best of one. Why did you do it like that?

Because we had to go. We were supposed to leave after the best of seven. 10,000 best of one? You're sick. We were supposed to leave after the best of seven. You you why did you do it like that because we had to go we were supposed to leave after the best of seven best of one you're sick you're so sick actually so i say ten thousand dollar best of one he agrees to it he does we fit train i go donkey kong and we hop in it's like some fd sage but i think there's a pokemon from pearl in there and uh and then it starts out like we're both at 120 he gets the first kill and i'm like fine i'll come back i'll kill him easy and i'm realizing how the fuck do i kill his donkey kong and the only thing i've kind of figured out is like i can side b and it puts his head in the dirt and then i go and then

he explodes wait who's he playing sorry he's playing we fit trainer male or female uh he's playing female we fit trainer and he keeps going son and he gets health back and i'm like how are you getting health back he's like you know i'm getting health back i'm like no i don't i don't know uh and then every time he's like off stage he goes and i can't edge guard for shit and i keep trying to stop and i end up losing oh and i'm so mad i'm so bitter i went from this hero who won the best of three to losing as a smash guy and uh and like i'm trying to leave now i'm sad will comes up he's like bro i just want to say like i love you man i'm like i don't kill yourself that's the worst thing to say get the fuck out of my man's face bro it's cutie driving

home and i'm in the scene she's like she's like she's like that happens i'm like yeah and i immediately put uh noah in a group chat with nick wang who does all of our accounting. And I say, yo, Nick, we got to pay this guy 10K. And then he goes, can I ask him like before his message even says, I go,

don't ask. And then Noah starts typing. He's like, this is the info you need. And then, and then Nick's like, what is it? What is it?

And I finally like, okay, we played ultimate money match and he won. It was $10,000. And then Nick Wang, he like takes a while to find. He goes, wait, I woke up. Cause I thought this was an emergency.

Oh, you're such a woke me up for a $10,000 money match when you could have just said, run it back. And I was like, and I was like, that's so tight. I love Nick. Our finance guy is tight. Yeah. I love how everyone we've picked up is a fucking is a dyed in the wool gamer

so in this group chat this is like Mango's mom saying like if you lose a fight don't come home you're like you woke me up when you lost in this group chat I then say with Noah in it I say alright run it back and I looked at the date and it was like the 18th the day of the party so I was like okay 18th of Januaryuary double or nothing 20k if you win zero dollars if you lose dude i think that's

uh and it's the exact day of genesis i was gonna say i think it's genesis nine so i said we're gonna do it at genesis we're gonna stream it because i have a booth at genesis and it's gonna be the twenty thousand dollar money match yo and it to be an ultimate. And so I have to get good at ultimate. Surely it's not best of one. We'll do first to five. Okay. And I have to get good at ultimate in that time. That is so hype.

I'm so proud of you. Are you going to keep playing Donkey Kong? I think I'm going to switch and I'm going to be a dirty Pyra Mithra main. Yeah. Yucky. No, be the ape. You can do it. I don't think the ape is bad, but the ape is usually based off just cargo throw.

Dude, what if he comes back with Steve? Or ding-donging? Dude, if he's Steve. you can do it I don't think the ape is bad but the ape is usually based off just cargo throw killing him off stage or ding donging dude if he's Steve I'm also part of me also kind of wants to do Fox

Fox or Pyramid Throat you should just hit up Light and be like coach me I think or is that Dog I don't think it's Dog

I'm gonna train my ass off he probably has access to same level I'm either gonna train my ass off or do nothing until the day of Don't do that

Those are the two options that I'm I've done the second thing my whole melee career and guess what? I don't have any good wins Graves Graves Graves And Yan last night

Well that's pretty impressive I put Yan on a fucking... Come on, dude. I put him on a Goodyear blimp. I don't even know Yan's last tournament. Yan hasn't even been playing because his hands hurt, man. Yan was putting H-Rock in the ground

and then I sit down in the setup, my creaky old dusty ass hands, and I did shit to him on Dreamland that they only speak about in... Yan's a legend. I sat at the setup with Yan and Shake. Yan and Shake, I'm like, I've got time while Amsa Hbox is happening.

I can get two games in. Bust out the Falco. Whoop Yan. Bust out the Marth. Whoop Shake. Leave. Shakey D? Shakey D gets busted by a lot, bro.

Shake talking so much shit. Shakey D? It's never great when we're on the set up. We did doubles after the Um The The comedy party And uh Fucking Yan was just running Like whatever team

He was on He would win So it was Nick Allen And Yan And they were just Running the set up And then he was You know how Nick Allen gets

Actually don't I've never played Melee with him He chirps Yeah He chirps Really The problem

The problem with Nick Allen chirping too Is he's actually getting good he's been playing a lot did you guys know he played marvel 2 uh yeah he's 47 no i didn't know that but that's like still crazy pro quake he was the first one that's shut the fuck up dude no nick allen he told me that the other night that he played marvel 2 i was like okay now i really respect you yeah i think it was i think it was not no shade nick allen but i think it was aiden telling me like dude

nick allen's gotten like like a lot better like you should play him and it was at the vegas tournament and i'm like all right i walk over like all right nick we got to play we play it and i think i i don't think i dropped a stock any games we played and then he got up and he's just like i think he said to aiden or someone he's like i don't know what dick's different in my brain i don't know what it is i just can't hit him i just can't hit him and he's just like, I think he said to Aiden or someone, he's like, I don't know what, Dick's different in my brain. I don't know what it is. I just can't hit him. I just can't hit him. And I'm just like,

I just play Falco. Yeah. I don't know. Yeah. Yeah. He's fifth in sack in his most recent local. He's been going to locals. Let's go.

There you go. But I had him switch. I was like, Gann's on my team now. And he's like, all right, it doesn't matter. And then he thought he was the one.

With Yann on my team you know why cause Yan Yan tells you when to smoke where to smoke he tells you when to push who's the fourth person

I think the fourth person was Shakey D and he's playing or Marth no no it was Nick Wang I think it was Nick Allen Nick Wang

against me and Yan is Nick Wang not better than Yan Nick Wang's very good he's pretty good I thought he was really really good he's very good I don't think Yan? Nick Wang's very good. He's pretty good. I thought he was really, really good. He's not like... He's very good.

I don't think he's like that many reallys, but he's pretty good. He's pretty good, and I think he's probably on par with Yan. For sure. Maybe better. I don't know. He might be like...

fourth on the Mogul Moves PR. Well, let's talk about it. Who is it? Who? What's the PR? I mean, here's the... It's like... This is like one of those word problems from third grade, because it's like ludwig is better than aiden and slime oh my

god right but he's worse than everybody else so then you have to make the chart i'm not a gamer anymore so i'm not on there nick v no shut the fuck up nick v and then it goes amen wait wait you think it should be Aiden first? Yeah. Then if it's Aiden first, it should be Ludwig and then Aiden. Everything we could possibly measure. You're not a gamer.

Not friendos. What are you talking about? You don't beat me in all of friendly. I think friendlies is a bad metric. I know, but I don't compete. I don't have any other metric right now. Well, then the measure would be your competition record it's a vibe have you never played in tournament against each other no it's a vibe it's i i'm i'm doing the vibe pr right now this is what because a lot of people ask and i say i this is what i tell people is i think nick i think i'm the best right now i think nick and y Yingling could be the best if they were playing

more. Oh, isn't it Yingling actually? Yingling has to be better than everyone. Wait, how is Yingling not number one? Because he hasn't been practicing. I'm doing vibes. Plays box box all the time. Nick Yingling on controller Falco. Nick V. On Puff. On Puff.

Aiden. Ludwig. Come on. On Puff? Ludwig come on on puff Ludwig kidding me Nick Allen no Nick Wang

do you still put Ludwig above you me Nick Allen yeah Ludwig's above me and then my mental block on his my puff my puff's a mental block

yeah but I think he only I think he's thinking about oh Mike's Mike's up there too only one of you I think I'm better than Mike we need to do a tournament we really do

we should do one probably the day we should do it I think the day of the Valorant event or like sometime around then cause we never will be there

or like the day before we can also do it at Genesis we got that booth oh true you know what I'm saying we'll all be there that'd be kind of fun but we do need to do

a tournament because we have like at least 12 people who could compete. Everyone can L cancel. Right? How many people do we have? I want to see Anna on the mic, bro.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think everyone in the company plays, right? Does Anna play? I'm sure she does. She definitely has played. I think I win this so easy unless Yingling starts playing Falco think I win this so easy unless Yingling starts playing

Falco controller. We don't have a 60 person bracket. What is so easy? Like you hop on friendlies with us and you just destroy it. Sometimes you play him and you lose

half the games. The thing about when's the last time he beat me? In tournament? Never. No, no, no, no. We haven't played

friendlies in a while. I think our last session it was even. That was a great face. That was a great face. You know what? Hey, we'll settle it. We'll settle it. Settle in Smash.

We'll settle it in Smash at the Mogul Moves Invitational. I think whoever's a W2 employee I think you can win. I think Yingling can win.

I think I can win. I think those are the three people that can win the tournament. I don't know where my adapter is. I haven't had it for five win. I think those are the three people that can win the tournament. I don't know where my adapter is. I haven't had it for five months. I might give it to you just because

the Sheik buff. I think Sheik performs better in tournament than Falco. Well, you're also, you're literally talking about you're a puff player, so you gotta stop talking with your lips and your mouth. Why do you think that I'm a puff player? I'm a green fox main. If you play fox, you will do worse. Yeah, you are getting

shit. My fox will dust you. You literally do. There's nothing you can do. When you break dust into three syllables like that, I know you're gonna lose to slime. I mean it too. I could literally take a hundred games straight from your fox.

Here's the facts. I sat down at the setup. My puff dust Nick Allen. My fox dusted atriox chic that's when when did you beat nick i can't lose to nick allen last time your fox we played one friend low with mains and i beat him when when uh at the german thing okay it was at the german thing because we did one friendly and i played fox and he really beat me and then i i went fox again and he stayed Peach. And I'm like, are we doing this? Like, are you, do you not have a secondary? And he's like, I only play Peach. And so I went Puff.

And then he was like, this is really fun. I was like, what do you want from me? Yeah, he asked for that. What do you want from me? It's also funny because he used to main a different character. So he did. Yeah, he used to main Icy's. He was in Icy's for a really long time.

Because he did hover Icy's. Did he get bullied? He said, is this better? Huh? Did he get bullied off Icy's? No, he didn't go. I think he stopped having fun. Dude, Nick Allen's so quirky.

I didn't know. Little quirky guy. I heard he got into it because he wanted, I think the lore is that he thought it would be funny to wobble Atrioc at work. Oh, that would be funny. That would be really funny. He's got it.

He's in. The second this office is up and running. All right, 16-man bracket, Genesis. If we need an extra fill or two, we got Sands and Atrioc. Yeah, I'm okay with that. Off-brand. And winner gets what? Winner gets...

Winner gets... When is Genesis? Genesis is 18th and 19th of January. The weekend after Valorant. What does the winner get? Winner gets, um, winner gets a 10 K salary increase.

No, no. I'm a t-shirt that says I'm the best melee player. Yeah. They do get to say they're the best for a mural in the warehouse as zipper. Oh yeah. It's like employee of the month. Oh,

employee of the year. Employee of the year. And we do an annual tournament. And they get their portrait hung up yeah we get it like commissioned yeah I want my

I want my prize to be can we make a slack channel that says lost 2 and it's the winner's name yeah I like that

no I know what you're gonna say denied what I know what you're gonna say no say it I was gonna say

that you never get to say that you're better than me or slime ever again wait wait wait to be clear that doesn't make

sense yeah why does that not make sense why would it be like a prize where he has a lie i i because even you doing this now is against the bet we made at the time i am i'm not saying that someone's better than someone i'm just saying there's only one person who's verifiably better than the other for six months and it's me yeah but the six months term is over and then he retired you've never been verifiably better than me for for six months. And it's me. Yeah. But the six months term is over. And then he retired. You've never been verifiably better than me. For six months. In my competitive era.

You don't think so? I quit. Oh, come on. I quit. I quit. And that's, and nobody fucking bats an eye. I quit. And everyone's like, oh, you didn't quit.

Yes, I did. I'm a full-time content creator. Hmm? I'm a full-time content creator. So you're saying at Friendsgiving, you weren't a full-time content creator. No, fuck no. I was really in a melee. That was half of it for me i'm team ludwig man i'm gonna kill myself and it's not even about me for him yeah for you honestly and here's the thing and i'm

sad about it too covid cut my career short yeah yeah that is what did it that is what did it online i could have been somebody i would have done some things but i ended being better than both you i you look i have to hold that we've literally played in tournament and i held it i I could have been somebody I would have done some things but I ended being better than both of you I you look I have to hold that we've literally played in tournament and

I held it I held it for six months you get to shake his hand man why would I shake your hand about this doctor doctor he loves shaking

oh god he loves shaking hands and the fact that he didn't is so big because because I I the bet was not

I'm better than you forever the bet was I get to say this for six months and you don't Because I the bet was not I'm better than you forever. The bet was I get to say this for six months and you don't care about the bet. Meow.

Meow. Alright well speaking of my discord kittens how close have we gotten to the end Oh I got so much pee in my balls. I think we're about

ten minutes away if I had to guess. You always say that answer. No I know sometimes I say we're there Sometimes you're gonna be right Fuck what do you guys want from me? Like I'm sorry that I keep track of time. You respect I am being respectful as it gets. I wish you would respect my melee skill You know what's funny? I messaged ludwig after the uh

after the chess boxing and i was like he said how do you use the bald guy emoji that's not what i said iphone okay i said him i said him two things that's embarrassing one was how do i use the bald guy emoji because he uses it all the time on twitter stealing my valor no no because you never used them i don't know how you don't own bald people that guy looks like me i know but i can't yeah of course but it's not like if i watch movie die hard you're like that's my film no this is different i think it's clearly different and you're even fucking asshole right now john mcclain i messaged him i'm like how to use the bald guy emoji doesn't respond to me i'm like okay this is normal this is how it happens and then i message

him yo thanks for letting me commentate i know like we we've been married for so long it probably doesn't matter but I just I'm consistently proud of you and all the stuff you do doesn't respond the next day I send him uh how do I use the bald guy emoji again and then he answers and I got him on the bald guy and now I know how to use it he's just like like, when he's like biting his nails, that's a funny one. Yeah, I got it. Did you see the ones that I put on the screen? Yeah, how did you do that? I'll send it to Zipper for posterity.

Stickers? Yeah, the sticker. You can like flick them up and then put stickers on the thing. But, you know. Who is this old? I'm learning. I'm learning a lot right now. Can I send him this?

Yeah. I wonder if I can. I'm sending you a zipper. Because he put them all over like stickers. This is so weird. This is so funny. How do I? I'm sorry.

Anyway. Yeah, that was. I'm glad that you learned how to use the ball guy. Yeah, thanks. That was me replying to the stickers. So you can just stamp them on the conversation.

I didn't know this. And you get the ball. I sent him like a video and I was like, what's up, pussy? And I was the ball guy. And then you did the bald ah-ha-gal face.

Yeah. Yeah, that was great. So what did we learn today? Oh oh man um aiden's mom aiden's mom whale you get turned out on the regular nick may or may not be the best gamer at mogul moves in terms of melee skill i'll accept that may or may not uh yeah it's on the come up i'm saying it right yeah it's on the come up? Yan's on the come up. I love that. You know what's funny?

I think if Yan... I've always asked Yan why he won't play. And he basically says, like, my hands just can't take it. I think Yan could be so good at melee. If he put the same amount of time into it that he put into CS. Yeah, or Valorant. Yeah, I think he... Yan's got the brain for it.

My hands get hurt, too. Oh, my God. Shut the fuck up. Oh. No, I get it, man. Now that I play a lot of Puff the brain for it. My hands get hurt too. Oh my God, shut the fuck up. Oh. No, I get it, man. Now that I play a lot of Puff, I get it. Ludwig Jr. When Ludwig top platform camped you at our house tournament,

I thought his hands might be hurting. It hurts. And you don't respect that. Dude, I beat Zeke at that tournament, and I think I put him in retirement for another six months. He did not like losing to my Falcon at that house tournament.

Oh, I thought you meant like... Way back. Also, Zeke got on the couch. It was so funny. Zeke is a lovely person and one of our best friends, but me and Aiden were like, just get on the couch.

He works for Golden Guardians. He's commentated before. He's funny. He's a cute bear. And we're like, just get on. Just like Phil works for golden guardians he's commentated before he's funny he's a cute bear and uh we're like just get on just like phil and he's like no dude i shouldn't i shouldn't we're like get the fuck he's so cringe about it you see great i even told him and then he gets on and people are like wow this guy rules and it's like yeah god damn it he's love yourself for two fucking seconds he crazy got a fucking NBA championship ring. I know. Do you guys see it? Yeah.

It looks insane. It's like $9,000. Anna took a picture with his ring. Yeah. It's so funny. It's so big in gold. It has diamonds. It says his name on it.

I was thinking about this. Do you think it's fucked up if Zeke gets one and the Chase Center janitor doesn't get one? They do, I think. They do? Yeah, everybody's able to get one who's an employee of Golden Guardians or the Golden Warriors or any subsidiary as long as they're a full-time employee and they have to pay taxes on it. Yeah. But they get it for free. Maybe not the janitor of the stadium they played at.

Yeah, they don't get a Justin Bieber necklace. I imagine if the janitor is an stadium they played at. Yeah, they don't get a Justin Bieber necklace. I imagine if the janitor is an employee of Golden Guardians. No, I'm saying he's at the Chase Center. I wonder if they're owned. Well, no way Golden Guardians

owns the fucking... It's too much to have an employee. Chase Center, you don't think? I don't think so. Contractors are probably not... I feel like it's usually... They do, right?

I guess I don't know shit. Wait, Chase doesn't own it either. Somebody owns the venue. I'm saying the Golden... doesn't own it either. Somebody owns the venue. I'm saying the Golden... We can look it up. Who owns the Chase Center? Who gets rings? Zet Bar!

But I just thought it was funny that, like, the whole gaming squad... Like, that company, they employ a lot of people, right? Right. And they all catch a ring because Steph popped up. Yeah, Zeke was saying... Yeah. Oh, they own it. Okay.

Oh, yeah, so maybe. I'm thinking they all got rings. That's tight, yeah. Dude, that's awesome. Zeke was saying, he's like, I'm thinking they all got rings yeah that's six that's tight dude that's awesome Zeke was saying he's like I'm gonna give it to my dad and he's like he's like

my dad's probably gonna pawn it and it's like well why give it to him he's like no no no it's really funny if my dad pawns my Golden State Warriors

champ ring this is uncut gems and then you check back in in like six months like hey dad how's the ring and he's like I don't know

but this seven grand send me your favorite picture with the ring that you've taken today. He just sends him a spread pic. You'd lose so much. You'd get such little return on pawning it. And it also says Ezekiel on it, which is really funny.

I feel like that shit pawns for like $400. It's probably like one to two grand, I imagine. That's why you gotta eBay it. He posted the value, right? No, but I don't think that... It's 9K, but you don't pawn shit for its real value. You pawn shit for like less than a half. Especially if it has

Ezekiel on it. There is a Golden Warriors fan named Ezekiel somewhere who will pay 9 grand for that. Wait, is there a name on the ring? Yeah, yeah. It's like etched in. It's really funny. It looks tight. We need championship rings. I put it on.

It's a little big. Yard championship ring funny We need championship rings I put it on It's a little big Yard championship rings We've just won nothing For the tournament Get him a giant ass ring That's hype That is hype I don't think they're that expensive to make If you

Well I guess it's probably hard to order one I think those Those are expensive to make Like fake ones are cheaper Yeah yeah yeah Like you know Just metal Not diamond encrusted

Shit Yeah man we'll see We'll find more creative ways To waste money Like, you know, just metal, not diamond encrusted shit. Yeah, man. We'll see. We'll find more creative ways to waste money. We're doing good. We're doing good on creative ways to waste money. 2023, I'm cutting it. I'm cutting all spending.

You are cutting the spending. Yes, sir. You don't know what we spend on. You don't know anything. I'm dialing it back. You're going to dial it back. I'm dialing it back. You're saying it like we are begging for that to not happen.

You still don't know how to log into the bank account. I do. No. Oh, yeah. One DM to Nick Wang. That's called knowledge. And it used to be me. Knowledge is knowing who to hit up and when.

It's knowing how little you don't know. He is actually different. Because if you said that to me, I'd be a little annoyed at you about the 10K money match. But Nick Wang is like, run that shit back, boss man. And he also knows that it's going to be zero bucks owed. You know what I do have an unfathomable rage for now? Is I want to beat those two in doubles. Wait, who?

You're thinking about it? Noah and Will. Yeah. Because that is so egregious. Let's go do it, Aiden. Guys, go and listen to the. Because that is so egregious. Let's go do it Aiden. Guys go and listen to the fear and part where he talks about melee. It's fucking disgusting. I'm like leaping out of my chair.

It's just casuals when it comes to Smash. A wave dash? Are you kidding me? It's a different breed. It's a different game to them. And Noah should know better. That's why I'm upset. Yeah.

He should know better than turning team attack off. Whatever helps him you know I almost got in trouble in my improv troupe in college we uh we had like a

we brought out a melee setup cause I was like just getting into it um cause that's college is when I started Smash 2 uh

and so we were we were playing some games like the four of us four guys like after some rehearsal whatever uh and I'm like winning

against everybody and then like the idea comes up like hey could you win a 1v3 oh yeah yeah and so we tried it and then i lose the first one and then i'm like i get competitive like right back 20 bucks yeah and they thought you hustled them and then i beat i beat him and then he thought he called me the next day he's like it's not cool you hust us. And I was like, it was last stock, last hit. I'm like, I didn't hustle you. It's also 20 between three people. I also just, well, I think it's 20 for each. Did I tell you guys that the Point Crow thing,

I fucking, I almost lost $600 playing pool. Wait, really? I didn't tell you guys. You got hustled? Yeah, well, no, I didn't get hustled. They thought I was hustling. Because we were all playing pool and it was like crank game plays, Doug, Doug, uh, point crow is, was there murk lurking around, but basically everyone

just started playing pool and I'm like, anyone want to throw some bread on this? Cause that's the only thing that gets my fucking dopamine firing. And, um, I played against who was it? It was Doug, Doug. And we play a pool match for $300 he had to think about it he's he's like I don't know man he's really cool he's like I don't know man and then he finally says yes I smoke him I'm not good at pool we're just all bad and then uh Ethan Crank Gameplays is like I'll play you and he's like double or nothing because he basically before I vet before

Doug Venmo's me he's like hold on I'll play you for 600 I was like fucking okay and then uh and then he did and it was just like this fucking buzzer beater last round and um you clutch and I did not clutch you lost money so I ended up zeroing out oh it was it was two it was Doug Doug back to back he lost 600 to me and then I lost that 600 to Ethan oh but you could have had 1200 I zeroed out yeah I could have a hot 12 and i was like this is fun dude we we went for the fucking uh mogul moved company dinner we went to a bowling alley after and uh and it was this is i don't know where we were this is the worst arcade i have ever been to in my life it was an arcade bowling alley and literally every game every arcade game doesn't work.

So maybe, I'm going to try to this is a very accurate number, I think. I think about 40% of the arcade games were either shut off, out of order, or didn't work. And the other ones that did work were just like the worst. The only good game that was working was like basketball, which one of them didn't

count points. You had to manually. And then Mario Kart was working. And then everything them didn't count points. And then you had to manually and then Mario Kart was working and then everything else didn't work. Basketball was great, though. Yeah. Basketball is fire. Crush rats each hit. So we go to bowling and I think I'm pretty good at bowling. So I haven't done in a while, but I think I'm pretty good at bowling. So we go and we have so many people that we had to play across four lanes. So I look over and on lane one is Nick Allen, Ludwig, a bunch of people. And I'm on this other lane

and I have a pretty bad game. I bowl like 99 or something. I don't do very well. I look over and Nick Allen has 150. And I'm instantly like, dude, and he's pretty drunk. I'm like, he's like wasted, but I'm talking to him

and I'm like, Nick Allen's drunk and he bowls 150. And I'm like, he's kind of a beast. And I tell Anthony this and Anthony goes, oh, I dust 150 Anthony this and Anthony goes oh I dust 150 yeah Anthony says I dust 150 you don't beat Nick Allen Nick Allen is the greatest bowler to ever touch a game I could smoke him

Mike what happened when we went and played pinball and bowled Mike I made Mike have a bad time here's the thing Nick Allen we all put in $20 eight of us on like the two lanes on the left winner takes all I was just goading everybody. I was like 20 bucks,

20 bucks. And so everyone's like, yeah, I'm down, I'm down, I'm down. And, and it starts out fine.

It starts out fine. Even at one point you were doing okay. Cause you walked over and you're like, you're like, Hey, maybe like good boys go to the right. Yeah. Yeah.

Cause I was beating everyone on my lane. Yeah. I was like, Hey, good boys move to the right. I realized you were just playing JV hoop. The second I looked over, I saw what he had. I'm like, Holy, I'm like the bottom seed in the right side right now.

Cause I thought I was crushing. I had like, I had like one Oh five, which is like triple digits. I feel great. That's so bad. And a whole game. And, uh, for you, all 10 frames. Yeah, that's bad. And well, then Nick, Nick drops the, well, the one 50.

So he wins like 140 bucks. And so I get mad. I'm like, all right, one one bowl double or nothing everything so like i would get one frame yeah one like one ball that is one ball why do you always reduce it down to one because i have a better chance to win i think i'm clutch in one moment so i go first and it's it's like 140 bucks i double his money or i get to take it all and i bowl and it's i get nine it's like a juicy right down the center just one pin i'm like great lovely and then nick allen he's like drunk as shit he walks over and he's like he's like all

right he picks up the ball and he and the way he throws it is he doesn't put his fingers in the hole he grabs it like a palming a basketball and then he spins it a shit ton and it curves like we bowling yeah so he did it and it had this beautiful arc it actually went so far right that it looked like it was going to go in the gutter it was like halfway on the gutter halfway on the track it stays on it curves back in and it goes just at like perfect 7 10 split or whatever you call that shit and it just knocks down all 10 strike after i hit nine and he just pops off on me that's the greatest ball i've ever seen in my life dude nick yingling he throws the ball the same way he holds it with like his whole arm puts and doesn't put his fingers yeah it's

called the spine and then he spins it i kept going i'm like yingling use the holes use the holes and he goes no it's not fun i don't like using the holes it's not fun and i'm like what does that mean to not like like it's not fun to not use the hole. And when we first got there, yingling, he wasn't getting strikes, but he looked like a pro bowler. I don't know how to describe it.

Like the way he was going up, the way he was throwing it all. It never guttered. And it was like, he was spinning it to the middle. I'm like, is he nice? And he progressively got so much worse as the day went on where he just kept throwing him right into the gutter over and over.

He got so mad. He tilt throws one while the thing is still down and he fucking nails throwing them right into the gutter over and over. He got so mad, he tilt throws one while the thing is still down. And he fucking nails it, and then it just bounces back to him. The ball comes all the way back down. It comes back to him. He just doesn't even care.

He just tilt throws it again. Yeah, it was a good time. It was fun seeing how everyone gets down. Yeah. Shout out to Anna for making us go out and not be gamers in a warehouse. And that's, shout out to you guys uh for making us go out and not be gamers in a warehouse um and that's shout out to you guys for watching

the yard podcast welcome to the yard it's episode 83 everybody uh intro at the end thank you welcome to the yard thank you for watching

uh tune into the patreon episode it'll just be chuckle sandwich we are replaced by chuckle sandwich the episode in the patreon is just a

whole episode of them so thank you to jschlatt behind the cam he's gonna come on in a second tune in for those boys see you later bye