The Yard - Ep. 77 - Aiden got kicked out of Hong Kong

Episode Date: January 4, 2023

This week, the boys discuss their new year's resolutions, slime & joshman's holiday in hawaii and how Aiden was kicked out of Hong Kong during Christmas.

Hi Ludwin numbers I said I asked for rolling He's a big zipper up. He's emailing I think it's funny though because I said email said email, female, like I was on Friday. I think we are going. I'm sending an email. Shut the fuck up. I'm back in his bed, man.

More like a female. I said, I thought we were. Like an ice cube. Were you using that when I said it? When Debo pushes the girl, and he's like, can't put hands on her, she's a female. Yeah, it's like that. Can I show you guys something? Yeah.

I want to open this up. I woke up in the middle of the night in a mania. And I said, I have an idea for a couch. And I drew it. What? Like a physical couch. At 3 a.m. Not an assembly of people.

About the couch and then wake up? This is the plot of a Lego movie. Yeah. And then I said, I was like, I want to make this couch. Can I show it to you guys? Bro, what the fuck am I looking at That's okay Do you like it It looks like a sleigh

What did you draw this on It's modern What is it explain it It looks like a bobsled The green is where you sit right The green is velvet Is it green velvet or did you just use colors no it's green okay yeah he didn't have an answer that question no it is green velvet

it's for sure i look i dreamed about it i know what it looks like it's green velvet and then the it's supposed to be darker wood i couldn't find the grain tech in the color it was a limited color wheel i used i used when you take a photo and then you go to your photos and then you mark up yeah so there's not a lot of colors there so okay so uh so the bottom is like it's got like these pointy sort of like so you just took a picture of the black emptiness of your room yeah that's why it's all rainy that's a photo of my hand at 3 a.m and then i do you like it no i don't well I like that you made it so that's nice I'm I like when you're creative yeah yeah honey it's great we'll put it up we can put it up in the shed and maybe low yeah so it's not in the camera

shot though so we can we can put it in the camera shot. It won't be in the camera shot because there's stuff already. It's so much stuff. Welcome back to The Yard, episode 40, everybody. We are here. We did it. Wow, we made it to 40? We did it.

We did it. We did it. We did it. We did it. We did it. We did it. Here's a fun game. What episode do you think 40 was?

2023. It was the Star Wars episode. There's no way. That's close. You're close. Yeah, I'm close. three. It was the Star Wars episode. There's no way. You're close. Someone in the best of was like, I can't believe they didn't put anything from the Star Wars episode in this one. It's like, bro, what the fuck? That's not how time works.

What are you talking about? I guess I wouldn't have thought of that either. Why? That's how years are. Time melds. It molds. We also have a 2021 best of Where that stuff isn't Don't make that sound Details

You've been gone for so long I've been gone I've been in my holiday break mode I've been chilling I've been starting Kingdom Hearts No You're playing Kingdom Hearts And Melee

Bitch Yeah I've been playing a lot of Melee Really? I saw your set count Is the only reason you don't game is because you're home Like here part of it. Yeah, usually I'm too busy and then Also, I did never had a reason to grind melee because there was no rank and now the rank goes up and that's fun

Do you play melee for fun? I play it to get a higher rank. I don't have fun I actually am miserable the whole time. You're the last one who hasn't rank. I don't have fun. I actually am miserable the whole time. Dude, you're the last one who hasn't folded yet. I haven't touched rank yet. We're all... I refolded. I refolded. You refolded? Yeah, I had a weakness where I played three sessions,

and I was like, I can't do this. The brain worm gets you. Ooh, it seeps in. It eats all your memories. It's just about your feelings. Because you either finish the set, and you're... I'm so angry.

I need to repair my rank, and my win-loss percentage and I need to beat the next man. Or you win and you're like oh that felt

that felt so good. What if I want to get a bit of a hot streak right now? I've also become a giant piece of shit because of that game. Yes.

Yes. I had a New Year's party and H. Rock comes up to me and goes dude I matched Ludwig on ranked and I beat him 2-1 and he called me and he said, kill yourself.

Did you do that? Yeah. So I match up with this guy. I match up with this guy. He's named CA Riot and his tag is H-Rod and I'm like, that's fucking H-Rod. So I send a DM. He doesn't notice until after game one and he clutched out game one

and then he like a little DM back and so like we are trying so hard. Next game's FDI3 Stockholm. Is it Puff Chic? Puff Chic. We don't do mains a lot and so then the final game it was like as sweaty and nail bitery as it gets and he ends up winning and I know

he was pumped because he took a screenshot of it and sent it to me a week later. Oh my god. For the scrapbook. The only thing I have on him is I have two more rating points. Nice. I'll take that to the bank. It didn't come up because I was talking about Melee. He like

just came up and wanted to tell me that. He's like, dude, check this out. Dude, it's miserable though because everyone, and I think this is just because online games, the only way you can communicate with your opponents is through what your character can do. Oh, everyone taunts. Yeah, whether it's like League of Legends and maybe you're like all chat shit talking

or like Valorant and you're like shooting their dead body. Everybody taunts constantly. Yeah. And then also does like, it's weird to say, but like disrespectful movement. Oh, yeah oh yeah why is it weird I've been saying this for a long time you guys would hold on you're disrespecting me. You should have just grabbed him. That's not a move in the game. Ask any time Aiden down smashes his fucking character, he does two more in a row.

Like, he's on crap. Do you get hit by them? Sometimes. Look, I'm not saying moves that are successful. I mean, like, walking from the left side of the stage to the right side of the stage slowly. Okay. Or when Dr. Mario does it and he's like, the classic that I've had against Sheik right now is if they get really mad,

they'll start, they'll go to the edge of the stage and they'll just spam grab into the void or spam F tilt into the void. Like I had this Falco I was beating yesterday and he just gave up and started kicking. That happens a lot to me. I missed one shield grab versus someone I was beating and they went in the corner and they shield grabbed the rest of the game.

That's so funny. They shield grabbed nothing. God. Oh, when you're winning, it's just so sweet when they're mad. Oh, it's like delicious candies like gummy bears.

And you're losing a tell. It hurts when you lose. You know what? Here's why I'm toxic though because it happens and then the first thing I do is I go to Twitch and I click on the

Super Smash Brothers Melee category and I look to see if the fucker was streaming and then they are streaming and I'm like two viewers stay there because then they would know that I care but I'm like I'm like take your fucking little you play as Ludwig yeah my name is Ludwig and my tag is like a disproportionate amount of trolls then I've never thought about it until uh a couple nights ago and I think yeah I think I made a mistake not hiding it I wonder how many people think because Nick Yingling has also been playing a bunch under the name Ludwig yeah with a green fox that is green people's day and also Ludwig j. is on the scene.

Yeah. I'm not playing as Ludwig Jr. Oh, okay, okay, okay. Yeah, Ludwig Jr. took a fucking crispy one off somebody. Who was it? Amrak? Amrak. Dude, we stay farming that fucking region, bro.

The train? Yeah, I beat the train. The train, the official Amrak account. Dude, fuck yeah, that's good. Come on, man. I don't know. The great white north. Don's good Come on man I'll do it You're the best in BC Dude Great White North can't handle us bro

We can't be stopped bro You can't be drunk You can't be the best in BC We actually have a winning record. Ludwig Jr., by the way, is Nick's puff, which is arguably better than Ludwig's puff right now. I don't know. He's going up, dude. Ludwig Jr. or Ludwig?

No, no, Ludwig. He's prime. He's playing again. Grinded 140 games. 140? I'm plat now, and I feel good, and I'm going to make my way to diamonds. Do I have to get in the mix and show you guys how to fucking live? And I feel good and I'm gonna make my way to diamonds. Do I have to get in the mix and show you guys how to fucking live?

I'm I'm part of me doesn't want to tell you to do it because I do think it is mentally damaging No, but it's so addictive. It is so sick It's just different than like booting up a Valorant game because you're signing up for like maybe only ten minutes Yeah, and and then a Valorant game you're signing up for 40 So you can trick yourself Into using smaller pockets of time That then draw out To larger pockets And you sweat

I sweat so much When I played Melee I streamed for more than Like five hours For the first time ever Wow And Because it was just like

I'm so close What if I just kept going And I kept getting I kept losing to somebody Named Zane's Bussy It was like He beat me four times I managed to beat him once.

I'm like, who is this guy? He's fucking good. Did you find out? No, I have no clue who Zane's Bussy is. I just kept losing. I don't want to do my little kidding. I boot up the Verdugo stream last night with Mike. We're at Discord Call and the first thing that we both hear is Westball

saying, if you watch my stream, you know I hate cancel culture. Oh, my God. And I started dying laughing. I'm like, oh, this stream's based as fuck. And we kept watching. And I think without naming anyone's names, it was some of the worst commentary I think I've ever heard. Cool.

So much so I messaged Otto. Can we build an extension that removes commentary? Do you really? You remove the high treble of the audio. I liked it. And you press a button. I was down for it. You were watching?

Yeah, I watched Verdugo top four, and it was mostly just a couple guys fucking around the whole time. There was one guy who sounded exactly like Noel. Oh, I was going to say chilling dude. No, he sounded like Noel, because he sounded like he was perpetually high. Yeah. And I was like, I just imagined he was Noel the whole time.

Noel's the person that got everyone into rock climbing and then everyone dropped it. No, I'm back. Everyone's like, are you back? Yeah, but when did you climb? I climbed like two weeks ago. What, that's not back? Come on. Come on.

I mean, it's not bad. It's just two weeks. I went with shake drizzle. One slash two weeks. Shake drizzle on the mic? Little climber. It's just... I went with Shake Drizzle. One slash two weeks. Shake Drizzle on the mic? Little climber. He's a little climber, dude. Dude, you know what?

Gaming is cool. And I am happy to be with you guys again. Because we haven't talked a lot. We aren't even being funny. Why do you get so weird and emotional? Because we aren't even being funny right now. We're just talking like we just... I just miss you guys because I didn't see...

I sort of saw Nick but not really from my COVID dungeon dude melee actually ruined Aiden's life he doesn't know it yet but his life is over what what are you talking about

you know how Aiden he's like our social Pokemon oh yeah yeah he doesn't leave his room anymore man hold on I had COVID and now I don't know

how you feel so you're a fucking loser it was good no no shut up shut up it's cause of the melee ignore the COVID no it's cause of the melee. Ignore the COVID.

No, it's because of melee. I come out. I do a big yawn. I make my morning coffee by going and buying it. And then Aiden just doors close. And I hear click clacking, click clacking. Wow. It is Diamond though.

Did you move up? Diamond two? No, I'm still Diamond one. I'm stuck. I am stuck in Diamond one. Diamond is officially where it's gotten hard. It's very hard right now. Well, hey, you got there.

Yeah. Feels good. I will say I have a good idea for next week's podcast that I would like us to all partake in. And I want everyone to get a gift for everybody else. You have one week. A gift? Yeah, we skipped Christmas gifts.

Well, what if he already got me a gift? So here's the thing. Then repackage it. Okay. Here's the thing. So, I got them gifts. You got a week. I have such a good one for you, it's just so hard to find.

I've been trying so hard. You got a week? Wait, am I covered for them or do you need a second gift? I think you need something for them to open on the pot. Whether that's the gift you got them and they pretend or you get a new thing. I can do that. I already got yours. I got yours. What'd you get me?

I actually googled high quality toupee for men. Because I thought it'd be funny to have you wear it the whole pot. That's cool. You know how I've been into fake guns recently? I got you a real one to put in your fucking mouth. Dude. hell yeah. You know, it's actually so funny you say that, Ludwig,

because I have something for you guys, because I thought of this, because like we didn't really do Christmas. We like got gone and stuff. Yeah. And I got you guys. Not only did I get you guys something. It fits in a pocket. It's going to be middle finger. I made you guys something. No, I didn't. You made a bracelet? This is so cute.

Are these friendship bracelets Okay, be honest be honest I sat and I mean it took me hours Is that it connects all of us. Isn't that cute? We got 1, 2, 3 friends. 1, 2, 3 FRIENDS! So you don't- hey, hey, hey, stop.

Stop, stop, stop. Stop what you're doing. You're being weird. What's up? Look at it, bro. Did you make this, be honest, with a honest? I deadass. I deadass 100%. I'm not done.

Sorry. Did you make it with a girl? Yeah. I know. I was like, there's no way he sat down Thursday night. He's like, I'm going to get crafty. Well, she had the materials. And I was like, let's build this.

I always have the materials. They have materials all the time. The thing about them is they live at Home Depot with the materials they just have on deck. Every 20 something year old girl has like a kindergarten craft box in her closet for some reason. Okay, well don't call it a kindergarten craft box. This is why you didn't get a bracelet.

It's weird because like kindergarten girls don't have like older girl stuff in their closet. Yeah. They don't have like insurance papers. Or like, I can't get there. I can't think of anything. A gun. I'm gun-pilled right papers. Or like, I can't get there. A gun. I'm gun-pilled right now.

Or Frogs Weekly. Frogs Weekly. That is an adult thing. I feel like I go to Zipper 3's apartment sometimes and I'll come into her room and she just has like magazine cutouts and glue sticks and scissors on the floor. You know what I hate about women? Dude, tell me what you hate about women now.

Uh, they always be like, you're too messy. And then you look at their bathrooms, and she looks like Hiroshima. Bathroom! The male equivalent of having crafts is like listening to a podcast and going to the gym. And that's all we have to express our

creative side. No, it's not. I think there's something better here. What? I think the male equivalent, it's just Minecraft, isn't it? No. What? Do you think girls like don't play Minecraft?

Girls also play Minecraft. I think more of- That's the problem. Like for all video games, I think it's disproportionately more favored for women compared to other video games. I think it's keeping... No, girls do this too. I was going to say it's keeping a shirt from high school that just says your high school's

name on it. It's taking the trash out. I think what I've realized is I just have no tactile tangible hobbies outside of gaming. Has she ever made you anything? Yeah. What did she make you? I just have no like tactile tangible hobbies outside of game Anything yeah, she make and it's home she's made me like some really nice like cards that are like these like layers of She'll take like layers of different cutouts and materials and like make like a

Fantasy She makes you these beautiful little things and then you just pull out like half a chalupa out of your pocket and you're like, this is for you. He's going to print out of his diamond ring. Or I'll be like, hey, maybe one of these days we can play Breath of the Wild together. That'd be cool.

We can do something that I like. That's like the best I have. I know you've sacrificed a lot for me. You want to do something I like together, though? You sound really sweet and cool. No, I'm great. I would like to announce something. What?

What are you announcing now? I won my fantasy football league against Ben. Did you win the whole thing or just against Ben? Well, I won the league that Ben is in. Is there like Mango in there and Will Neff in there? No, I'm in three leagues. That's got to be so frustrating for him. Because Ben just tries. You've probably been better recently but he used to try so hard to get ludwig to just update

do your fantasy do your fantasy call me like go find ludwig and you just fucking win is it how much of gambling is it to be honest how much rng yeah i i think there's like a lot of luck in terms of like who gets injured and who's popping off. But you need to like generally keep up with it. And like people who are good at it do well. They might not win every year, but they'll always be like top four. It's like TFT. It's TFT. It's like TFT.

It's TFT for men. TFT for men because TFT is for boys. Yeah, that's right. I realize right now I don't have a concept of gender or identity. Right, yeah. Because I feel like I'm missing on everything. Women's TFT is chess. Because of the Queen's Gambit.

The Queen's Gambit. And Andrea Botez is Queen of the Gambit. And that's what they call her. Love the train of thought we're going down here. No, this is good. And Alex is the Rook. You should think about this more later. No, let him express himself. love the train of thought we're going down here this is good and alex is the rook you should think about this more later no let him express himself he doesn't do this often yeah i don't i

don't really have a venue in which just talk about my thoughts for 90 minutes a week so you're being an asshole i want to know about your holiday with josh dude he's gone i know he's gone I literally feel a hole in my heart. Dude, I think I got, I don't want to cut you off and let you finish, but I think I got Josh's favorite gift he's ever gotten.

Yeah, it was fucked up. I've never seen him that happy ever. What is it? Have you guys seen, have you guys seen the Eminem potion video? Drinking the Eminem potion

at 3 a.m.? You ever seen this one? Eminem the artist? Can you type in what we just did? The rapper? Drinking the Eminem potion at 3 a.m. You ever see this one? Eminem the artist? Can you type in what we just did? The rapper? Drinking the Eminem, as in Marshall Mathers, potion at 3 a.m. We don't have to watch the whole thing. It's so not funny.

I think Josh would find it special if we watched some of it. Fuck him. Josh has great taste. He's really funny. But he's like, you have to watch this video. You have to fucking watch it, cunt. And you'll put it on. More of the cup. He got him the cup from the M&M potion

Josh loves this video Five minutes. Yeah, it's really long of art. The video is like five minutes. Yeah, it's really long. I thought that was a great video if it ended there. No, no, it's really- He keeps getting up and going, and he keeps coming up looking more like Eminem. So he goes down and he puts more stuff on. Does he keep falling that dramatically?

More and more dramatically. Josh will sit and make you watch it. That's great. He'll sit and be like, you gotta like minute three it goes crazy And then he'll click on his YouTube channel and it's like Drinking the blank potion and he has hundreds of them Oh So Josh yeah and so

Nick found this and he came over to my place And he gave it to Josh He jumped around There was a brief moment where he didn't know what it was And he looked at it and he was like trying to be thankful But right unsure okay we can yeah we can cut it he loves it look at seven minutes long what i don't like is how the necklace sits on his neck

and that's the only thing that's bothering me well that's the other way you don't like is how the necklace sits on his neck, and that's the only thing that's bothering me. Well, that's the M&M way. You don't like rap and R&B culture? That's how B-Rabbit would have done it. Yeah, and he jumped around like a kid got an N64, you know? Yeah, like that old video. That's classic. Hey, let's pull up the other thing that happened to Josh, man. What happened to Josh?

The tattoo. Oh, that's right. Oh, right. Yeah, yeah. This happened on the yard. You went on a little world tour, almost. right. All right. Yeah, we saw this happen on the yard You went on like a you went on a little world tour a little world. Yeah, that's the scene for us Oh Josh Josh man game still in America Old in America I I get to say because I actually went on a world tour and it was fucking off

We'll get you know one kid no one asked okay, huh? world tour and it was fucking awful we'll get to that okay no one asked okay huh call friendship call i just want to one call easy shit love that old times too god damn it i don't like you i'll get you gifts next week so wait so when uh josh was on a primo episode a couple months back back when he served the first time in the u.s for a while and we did a randomizer where you randomly click a button and zipper pressed it and it comes while and we did a randomizer where you randomly click a button and zipper pressed it and it comes up with an image a random image from the internet he rolled a three pyramid and he would get the image tattooed on himself yeah is the key all right so you're gonna get this image tattooed no you gotta you gotta do it again because the tiktok's fucked up now

you gotta you gotta start over you gotta stay oh my god so we got our friend josh right he's this australian dude no way australia yeah that's funny he's a roy cot yeah do you like this yeah i did think it was wild that he was down though to roll in a random image and get it tattooed on himself and i also thought the image he rolled was like kind of good but also kind of shit with how detailed it was interesting Yeah, it was it was definitely better than like I don't know fuck like a pregnant woman in your head Pyramids, but like weirdly accurate not like like Illuminati pyramid. That's just on your body with line art. It was Oh, yeah, yeah, like a full rendering of a pyramid and

That's the picture. Let's show the final tattoo, though. Let's see the final product. Imagine the bottom right corner of a science textbook. Yeah. And so I think you can find it on his Twitter zipper. But basically, my friend Sean, who I went to high school with, he lives in Hawaii. He did my horse on my arm.

Big Island or Oahu? Big Island. Big Ups. Big Ups. Big Ups. The Big Island. He lives there. He's lived there for a while

Well, I'm friends Michael Reeves. That's chill. Yeah, man From Hawaii. Yeah, he's Hawaiian. I didn't know that you're saying like a slur Like he's in you it's not sure the right word anymore. It was more like Michael Reeves just lay out. Never mind anymore it was more like michael reeves just like never mind well that's worse not finishing what you're gonna say i thought you were just assuming something about michael reeves that was 100 not true you need to steer away right now we steer away from what you need to steer back into the tattoo one wig is racist hi it's uh so made a bet with ludwig this is josh's tweet and so we went to hawaii and it was like a little vacation for me and Joshy Bears. And he got it tattooed on his legs.

The first tattoo ever. So this is the, can you pull the first image? This is the random. The random image he generated, yeah. Which is like, like AI generated pyramids is what it looks like. It's like put pyramids in the desert. That's not what it looks like, right? Like for sure the pyramids aren't that close together.

Oh, I think it's just the angle. No, the KFC is on the bottom. Oh, I see. No, it's this no it's depth it's depth okay yeah okay and then and then i think what they did is better because they turned it sean turned it into like a bit of like a full egypt thing yeah he put the the the birds on the end going ta-da and uh come on why are you blocking the feet man because because yeah hey you blocking the feet like anyone cares? Let him say it. He did it, for one. So talk to Josh. I'm mad at him. For two, people care.

I don't think people care about Josh's grippers. He's got hairy feet. Yeah, but... He's like your... He's like your... Why did you stop yourself and then start it again? I was going to replace what I was going to say. He's got some hoops.

No, like your mom. You said that. I said myself. One, was gonna say. He's got some hooves. No, like your mom. You said that. I said myself. One, two, three. Caw! Yeah, you feel fucking lonely. I watched the whole best of. We're funny, man.

We're pretty funny, man. We're doing terribly this episode. Nah, it's fine. Memory late. This is memory late. We missed a week. I brought it up because I thought of the hooves bit. And I thought that bit was so funny.

Yeah, you know? Yeah, because you're like so mad. We can move on. I want to be nicer. I want to be nicer to Ludman's mommy. Is that your goal? Let's go around. What's everyone's 2023 resolution?

Is yours to be nicer to my mom? Don't call her mommy, by the way. Why? That should be obvious. Your mommy? You too. I want to be nicer to your mommy. No, I'm saying M-A-M-I.

You can call her that. You can call her that. You can call her that. Why can he call her that? Because he's a little boy. Because me and Peter both? No. I think she is a lovely person. Is it like that one? All your goals should be to put one

in your skull. So I had a resolution last year, but I can't say it on the pod because it gets ruined by people. So I have to do, I'll tell you guys what it is after. Tell it right now and then we'll bleep it and we'll react. My resolution is. Wow. I know.

I give you that three weeks look. I know, right? If that was uncensored, it would change the world. I know. I know. I give you that three weeks. Look. I know, right? If that was uncensored, it would change the world. I know. I know. I think Genesis is where you crack. No. I think you make it to February.

My goat. Yeah. I feel like we're making it obvious what it is. He loses on a short month. That's one of them. I don't know. That's pretty much it. I don't think resolutions are stupid. I don't know. That's pretty much it.

I don't think, I think resolutions are stupid. I don't. What do you mean? I think resolutions is basically a way to write down goals so you can make actionable steps towards achieving those goals

as opposed to just thinking them. This podcast, this podcast, this podcast was birthed by writing down goals. We wouldn't be here if I didn't write down goals. Well, I sent Ludwig my goals on Twitter, and he didn't even like it. Ludwig doesn't fucking talk to us on Twitter, bro. Unless he's talking about breaking my neck.

Twitter's kind of hard these days. Because the only way I can know if someone replied to me is by scrolling through the tweet by clicking it open again. And hoping it pops up. You're going to do all that? Because it's not. What, did they change it or something? Well, I guess it wouldn't affect this spot, but I used to just go through the verified tab and then it would have the people who follow me.

But now it's just like I get fucking every reply. Oh, because of the checkmark thing. Yeah. So I just get every checkmark. So I just don't look at replies anymore. They ruined it. And sometimes I just miss shit. Well, so I just don't look at replies anymore. They ruin it. And sometimes I just miss shit. Well, you should turn on replies for all of us.

And your girlfriend that you love. Do you think they're off? No, no, I mean like turn on no-dos. Like I used to do to make fun of you. Oh, like for all tweets? Yeah. No, no, it's for us. So when I say I'm not a top player, but I get top player, it's a push notification.

Yeah, that'd be huge. Yeah, I think that'd be good. I want you to see it. And then like you're like hanging out, like doing something social. Like, oh, hold on. My friend Aiden just said he really likes this country. Yeah, that'd be huge. Yeah, I think that'd be good. I want you to see it. And then like you're like hanging out like doing something social like, oh hold on, my friend Aiden just said he really likes this country. Yeah, hold on. Slime just replied to someone and said, do you really think that I was trying to be funny there,

you fucking idiot? I was talking to my friend. What this would actually be is you would get a notification every 20 minutes from me tweeting about like melee ranking and it would be miserable. Yeah, I'm not gonna do it so we got it solved why are you talking him off of this we just want him to look at us I don't want you to look at me

more on twitter by the way we know how to get a million views on a yard app oh it's called we need to get Jebediah Schlatt we just gotta get him out the lord and savior Jebediah Schlatt is the truth you think we get a million with Schlatt if we don't, we fucked up.

Really? He didn't fuck up. No, but he got himself an out. He's going to be like, no, it was us. It was us. Why would he ever put blame on another creator? This is like the Trump thing. This is when he was like, yeah, if they win, I take all the credit.

If they lose, it had nothing to do with me. No, Jebediah Schlatt, I mean he was, he's my most popular video on my clip channel. My most viewed video ever. What is it about him? Besides MrBeast. Does he just have a Riz? No, it's more. The clip channel video has more views. Ooh. Riz is cringe now,

we can't say it. Yeah, it is. It's cringe now because Aiden Ross shaved his head and asked for a pardon for Andrew Tate in another country. Why does that have anything to do with Riz? He talks about Riz all the time. Yeah, but that feels like a separate thought that you wanted to bring up.

I associate him with coined Riz. You can't talk about Riz because you're 40. You can't talk about Riz because you got none. And Sneeko says Riz. And fuck that guy. Can he? Yeah, you can say Riz. I learned about it late, so I still have a buffer. Okay.

Well, either way, we're four white guys talking about whether or not we can say Riz and if it's cool. That makes us really cool. We can do this one. Yeah, yeah. Guys, is Riz still hot? Is Riz still hot? Is Riz still cool? Yeah, your goal was to hit a million views.

We get that with Shlatt. Oh, yeah, that's one of them. Guaranteed. Mine's hit the 1,000-pound club. Yeah. so you're on your way because you what weigh 300 right now dude when i saw that i instantly was like i'm not gonna say because it's just like the comments have to already be there there's no way they were there there's no way several several were there i didn't even read i just knew you're number 58 here i want you to know that i think you could do it okay yeah i think you get there you eat about. Yeah, I think you can get there.

You eat about 5,000 calories a day. You can't catch up to me, by the way. Catch up to you how? You're falling behind. Yeah, I run. Why would I ever gain that much? In terms of you said you could beat me in physical combat. I could.

You can't. You're falling behind. Journey said something really funny in response to that. She's like, you have to get lucky every day. Slime only has to get lucky once. That implies like we have a sparring session every day we will you show up to his personal training he finishes his 30 minutes every day and then the last five is you just slugging it out in the gym yeah and i'm fried i didn't even work out i'm fresh i'm ready to go have you kept working out yeah

you're still going? Yeah. I feel like you've been traveling. I don't know. I don't know if you stopped it. I mean, I haven't. Like, when I did hit the gym in Hawaii for one day. Oh, you hit the Hawaii gym? That's just.

What? Don't say it weird. Why? That's how you should talk about it. I'm calling it weird. You just made it V. You just made it a V. You're supposed to say a V.

You said Russian Dota players say when they want to go mid. This is like when Ludwig said it's Kabassi, not Kielbasa. That was the dumbest shit you ever did. I looked it up, and you're kind of right, but you're also wrong. Kielbasa. That's the plural of kielbasa. You think I'm eating one? That sounds like...

He was talking about how it's like his penis. You think I'm going for the thousand pound club and I'm going for one? That sounds like what people from Boston call Polish people as a slur. Hawaii? No. Kielbasa? Just on the docks. Fucking kielbasa's a road in the union.

Just weirdly mad. Look, I'm not the colonizer who went there, all right? To Poland? No, to Hawaii. You took the walk? I didn't take the walk to Poland. All right, what's your resolution, you dumb piece of shit? I told you, a thousand pound plan.

Oh, yeah, you posted them all on Twitter. Yeah. What's your resolution you dumb piece of shit I told you a thousand pound plan oh yeah you posted them all on twitter what's yours Eamon I want to sign up for piano lessons why'd you say it like you want to kill yourself and not do it because I kind of want to kill myself telling you guys wow I think it's cool I did it

I also have two other resolutions I want to I want to strike a different... And you're all going to groan. I want to strike a different work-life balance so that I can start studying a language again. What language? Yeah, there we go.

A different one? I think... Or do you want to pick up where you left off? I think I want to... I've thought about this a lot. And I just... I need to think about it more still. I'm stuck., I've thought about this a lot. You're, and I, I just, I need to think about it more still.

I'm stuck. Where's your head at? Francais. I wanna, You're trying to bite my shit? I wanna learn, I wanna go back to Chinese because it was really fun.

Every, I have no regrets. Like, every time I sat down to learn and like, actually was working through or like, watching something,

it actually was really enjoyable. Did you? It kinda like, working out. It was actually exactly like working was really enjoyable it kind of like working out it was actually exactly like working it's like working out you spend enough time around a lot you'll probably just pick it up and then i started thinking about some other stuff and i think i might want to learn french instead but useless it's so useless unless you it's not useless it's i not useless. You don't think of language as practical value. You just like learning it. Yeah, I think it's just fun. That's fair. I started to think about the practical reasons

aren't as enjoyable. If I cared about how practical it was, I think I would just try and learn Spanish. But I don't feel as interested in it so sure that you're racist yeah yeah he says yeah you know I think would be hella good learn is just sign language just figure it out ASL that's a pretty good one it's just like useful as hell it would be so tight if someone pulled up

and they were like oh I'm deaf and then you were like yeah cool you can like and apparently you can like talk to whales with it and you could you could do a lot oh we were we were at new year's we were somewhere really loud and i couldn't hear anyone that was to be so dope we all just knew sign language that'd be you'd be so cringe at the function for doing that though i'd be cringe for doing sign language there's like a deaf person at the function so I'm like

this fucking dude. Have you seen him all night? He's fucking doing it for cloud. I know it. I get it. I did want to roast you for something. I thought this was really funny.

You made, okay, you were looking for New Year's plans which is totally normal and you made a Twitter circles tweet. Yeah.

But then you waited and then made a normal public tweet after. why is that cringe? I'm because the circle didn't bite you have to like Didn't want people to reply. That's the thing. I intentionally make my circle small because it's hard to get in. Because I checked Twitter and I saw the circle tweet and I'm like, oh, that's nice.

Nick's going out and doing something for New Year's. And then I checked the next day and I saw the public tweet and I was like, ooh, circle tweet didn't play. I'm actually so mad because how I ended up actually getting plans was, I think, from the circle tweet. Because someone who was in there is the person who invited me. So why did you make the other one? He won people's messages. I saw the Instagram story and it said, swipe up if you got plans for me. I think that's what happened.

I think that's what happened. Because I had a Slack DM for a New Year's party. I didn't see. From Radstads? From Radstads. He loves using Slack to get plan parties. Radstads is in my circle. So I put it out. He didn't reply to party. I didn't see. From Radstads? From Radstads. He loves using Slack to plan parties. Radstads is in my circle, so I put it out. He didn't reply to that. I took it down. I put a

public one up. I'm like, oh, I should put a public one. I want to add a bunch of people in my circle. I just want to have more people see it. So I put it up. And then he was like, hey, I invited you to something if you want to go. And I was like, I didn't even see that. And I went and I went to that. Wish you'd check Slack. I do check Slack. Your friends are in there. Your friends are in there trying to suck you up. You have no excuse. No shade to Radstads you'd check Slack. Piece of shit. I do check Slack. Your friends are in there. Your friends are in there

trying to suck you off. You have no excuse. No shade to Radstads, but you're in my favorites tab. So it's at the very top. So if you message me, I always see it. Yeah.

But Radstads never messages me. I think it was our first message maybe ever. He always messages on Slack. He said it is. Speaking of ASL parties, there's this new fad. I don't know if you guys

have heard of. And it's where you go to a party and you put on headphones. And then there's three DJs. And you can pick which DJ you listen to. And then they'll have a color and it corresponds to what color is on your headphones. But the whole party is silent. Yeah, it's a silent disco. I've seen that.

It sounds like that awkward shoe noise that's on TikTok. Where it's just like basketball court shoe noise. This is like an improv everywhere YouTube video Yeah, and they do breakout dances what you call those flash mobs. Yeah, it'd be funny if like there's three DJs But one of them is just playing the daily I was like one DJ is definitely just like like looking in the crowd and there's like no red and that's like their color Yeah, and he's like fucking bombing. There's two people,

there's two people like whipping it to music and then one person listening to Sabrina interview somebody about the Uvalde shooting. I've dropped it daily. I haven't listened to him

in so long. It's been a little whack lately. It's been whack. I don't know, I don't know if I had a very selfish thought today in the car. That you don't want Michael Babar on the podcast?

When I was listening to it, and I was like, I don't know if I can keep listening to this Ukraine stuff. Dude, that is the most problematic thing you've ever said. It's just the tweets don't pop anymore. So it's like, why would I know that about it? I keep tweeting out love for Ukraine, but the likes keep going down. I don't. I don't tweet that shit.

Eamon solemnly deleting the Ukrainian flag emoji in his name on Twitter. Anyone else think this is UK? I think we're closing in on one year of war in Ukraine. I think it was like mid-february where it initially happened 2022 yeah so i think news is exhausted the same thing happened with covid news yeah and the daily usually strikes on what is the hottest thing but they do such extensive like they update for so long yeah that it's like a year in a covid i felt the same way and that's like when i see like a covid update i'm like i understand why it's important but I don't specifically care to listen. See,

and now it comes back around. I love the COVID updates because they're so few and far between. So every, you love every update is important. That's what, that's what I like about it. I just don't think the update is like not enough happened. I think more people could get hurt. I don't know.

It's like, this isn't a case study and an examination, real life of news as content and how it how the the normal average joe the normie yeah with a small weird dick will process this information actually here here's what makes it here's what makes you a piece of shit have you watched a mogul male in the past week uh in the yes in the past week piece of shit but i watch i only watch once a week i listen i try and listen i'm just once a week i listen i try and listen i'm just saying every day i'm just saying you you switch to learn about logan paul

drama and so i didn't watch the logan i watched your fact check one i liked that one i didn't hear she's why i didn't like that because you basically generated revenue from being wrong yeah wait wait do you think the problem is that i made money so i already generated from being wrong this one he generated but if he was correct in every mogul mail he made, he doesn't get one more video that says I'm correcting the other video. It's such a small thing to be upset about because it's like in the grand scheme.

Oh, it's small, so my feelings are small and not valid. Yes, but if you didn't... I'm saying I make 200 videos a year. If one of them is that, is that really... If he didn't make this video, you wouldn't be mad. Even though there's a bunch of mogul mails that are wrong and he profited off of them is that is that really didn't make this video you wouldn't be mad Even though there's a bunch of mogul males that are wrong and he profited off of that's why you need to donate the money to Cause no you don't yeah, I think that's all for show you need to buy me a Gamecube What is the Metal Gear Solid Gamecube that was?

Controller same time You're rich. Or the Panasonic controller. You're rich. At the same time. I have one. He can't afford it. He can't. He can't afford it.

I know you can't. Don't make the public believe. You keep the Patreon. He's never done this face. You keep the Patreon. Always. What is that? I don't know.

I don't know. I'm just a little cow. Where's the cow hat? Did we lose that? Oh, I hope not. It's gotta be upstairs. My actual rebuttal is that I'm adding The corrections document to the description Of every video from now on

So then I don't need a video You're leaning into it You're becoming a commentary YouTuber I've been that Shut up I'm making a point This is your way out That's not off brand because off brand is a meme that doesn't exist This is your actual way out

Yeah you're doing Philip DeFranco percent And you're pretty close Way out of what of being a content creator of the movie what my way out of being a content creator is being a content creator you know what i'm saying like no you're like a content creator like with the clown nose and the fucking and the nipples it's right now exactly but now you can be a normal content creators like I think this is that both sides. I think you've gotten boring is it Is Ukraine washed It's totally here about fucking Ukraine again, it's like like we get it No, I don't I actually don't think it's an out to switch from being a streamer who gets to play video games and chill to being a commentary YouTuber.

You never have to think of a new idea ever in your life ever. You just have to ingest something that happened. Give a take and print a video. You have beaten the game without having to get a normal job. That's less fun to do than just going live for four hours. Well, normal jobs aren't fun. Why? You still get attention.

You still get people paying attention to what you're saying. You're just basically saying you're recommending I quit streaming and then just do content on YouTube. I'm not recommending shit. I'm saying your plan was always off-brand. It's like this escape hatch where you could keep working and be involved in stuff. But you created another escape hatch. With more attention inside

of it. And you don't have to try as hard. And it's good. You did it. Thanks, bud. Tell us about your miserable trip. Your hell trip. Yeah, it was fucking awful. It was literally my worst Christmas ever.

Ever? Yeah. Your mom died. Yeah, but when I was one. Was it on Christmas? So. Did she die on Christmas? No, I don't think so. If she did, that would have been really mean, by the way. I don't think so. No.

Yes, it would. No, it would have been me reminding him of what he lost. That's a mean thing to do. No, it would be bringing up his most painful memory. That's not mean. Yeah, no, that's good for him. That's the whole thing. It's not a memory.

This guy doesn't care about war-torn countries. We need to have a sit-down on what's mean. So, I'm just going around being like, what hurts you deep? And then weeks later. Bringing it up. Hey, I met Aiden's mom and she was lovely. Yeah.

Yeah. You're going to say his dead mom. No, I was going to say his alive mom. Pipe down so I can get to your compliment. How about that? Christmas is here. Will you sit tight for your little compliment milk? You know what's funny

Ludwig brought up gifts And I was like Well this is a perfect time I have to say it Because before the podcast I was like I have a gas up moment For slime

And I was going to do The bracelet thing Right after that Hold on Let me do it again Anyway Go on Okay

So I I was going to go to Hong Kong For Christmas this year because my dad works there right now and uh the rest of my family was also there for christmas which was nice because we're all gonna go there together and i used to go to hong kong to see my dad uh sometimes but it's been a long time since the whole family was there i you still have to test for covid to go into hong kong there's a bunch of restrictions some of them just lifted totally makes sense totally makes sense are they zero covid no no they're not it's not as serious as like well mainland china isn't zero covid anymore

but they were never they weren't as strict as mainland china because it's hong kong still kind of separate um so uh it was cool We got to go because the laws changed. Test negative before I go. When you land in Hong Kong, before you go through immigration, you go through PCR testing. It's crazy. They are fully staffed.

It moves so fast. There's all these people in full suits there to test you. Brooks Brothers, head to toe get my test and then you get like a barcode that like attaches to your phone to show to restaurants that you're like good to enter stuff um so i test it's a pcr test so you don't get your result right away and i go meet my family and we like go out for the day um i bought my little brother's christmas present to go hang out yeah you can

just leave because pcr is on immediate that's the lift and restriction right they uh you test negative before you go so they're like you don't go unless you're pretty confident that you don't have covid and then they pcr test you on arrival for safety i see uh and i went out i'm i i we're like walking around you you have to be masked everywhere still, which is fine. Like I'm wearing my mask. No big deal. And you hate that. And you don't like wearing the flesh prison on your face.

And then I'm hanging out with just my parents. We're at like this outdoor bar. And this is where my mom was talking about you. She was asking about all your holiday plans. And then she was talking about how brilliant your writing is. Oh, wow. His writing? His writing.

The only thing she's read is probably the thing I wrote for my dead dad. Yeah. And the love letters to her. And that was it. She didn't know about that thing I wrote. She didn't mention that. She was just talking about... Dear Mrs. Calvin.

The dead dad. It's been months since we've last talked the war in Ukraine is still going on Episodes a week. It's just for every episodes for you, but it's all I feel like war is right No, I imagine imagine the people in Ukraine are like yeah, we don't want anyone dying in war. It's just like four episodes a week. It's just four episodes a week. Every episode's 40 minutes long. I feel like war is wrong. I know. I imagine the people in Ukraine are like, yeah, we don't want to hear about it either. It's like, stop the violence. I don't...

You know what? I'll listen to every daily episode. You know that old picture that says, stop racism from Tumblr? Yeah, it's the guy and he's like... Yeah, and it's like a... Yeah. It's like there's like a filter on it.

And it's just... But it's just that. But it's Aiden. And it just it, but it's just that, but it's Aiden. It just says stop reporting on the Ukraine war. Have you seen the deeper version of it? I think so. Yeah. I think the reality is your take is probably fine, but it's not something people say.

They just stop consuming the information. They just stop. Yeah. Yeah. You just said that you stopped consuming it, which is different. I didn't even. I'm complaining. I haven't stopped consuming it. I still listen to most of the episodes. Yeah. Yeah. You just said that you stopped consuming it, which is different. I didn't even... I'm complaining. I haven't stopped consuming it.

I still listen to most of the episodes. Yeah. I love this picture. It was such a punchline. And it did it, too. The Obey hat is a subtle but important detail. I didn't know it was an Obey hat. I never noticed that.

It's a very, very subtle but important detail. Oh, my God. So you're at this cafe with your meemaw and your peepaw. Yeah, and mom likes me and she thinks I'm cool. She thinks you have brilliant writing,

whatever. No, I'm two for three. She said she wishes you came on the trip. Whatever, whatever. She doesn't have hooves. No way, Elle. And then I get an email.

I get an email from the Hong Kong government that says, you've PCR tested positive for COVID-19. And you have two options now in Hong Kong when you test positive for... Ballistic missile. You get hollow point or non. You can line up on a wall and get shot.

Yeah. Or you can fly home. Can you not just stay? Is it fucked up and they just put you on a wall and get shot. Yeah. Or you can fly home. Can you not just stay? Is it fucked up that they just put you on a plane? You have to go. You have to leave or you go to a COVID holding facility. And my dad was telling me about the COVID holding facility and what it's like. And you have to double test negative

To get out. It's not like like here right now this CDC says you have to like be Non-symptomatic and you have to like wait at least five days, right? Like you can still test but there you have to show double negative tests to get out of this like shitty facility And you should have done it this like shitty facility um and you should have done it that would have been what dude i had nothing he could still be there right now yeah that'd be hilarious that would not be hilarious dude that's what i was worried about i spent 12 days in the co-op facility in hong kong what what sucked is i didn't feel sick like i i was i was feeling like pretty normal and i'm like dude if i get stuck here for like two weeks that's gonna blow you should all you yeah

I'm so disappointed, bro Basically get to be held in a in a facility for two weeks as an experience You can do this if you want right now do that volunteer just get covered in flight You can leave or you can leave I'm like, okay. Well, I have to leave Shorty who's down to get held in a facility for an experience? I still don't get why you think this is a good idea to do because he's not a fucking podcast Ludwig She hold my face Day nine still bored like it. still bored. She hold my facility

to experience. How's that? It'd be boring. I've seen at least what it's like in Japan because Connor had to do it just because they were holding everybody who entered the country. So he was there for like seven days or something. Maybe it was 72 hours. Either way, it seemed boring as shit.

Bro, it's like a cleanse for your mind. I didn't even have a book with me. I couldn't even finish Dune. You could bring a book. It's 72 hours. Either way, it seemed boring as shit. Bro, it's like a cleanse for your mind. I didn't even have a book with me. What do you think? I couldn't even finish Dune. You could bring a book. It's like jail. You're imagining using a straitjacket. It's like that prison movie we all watch where you get one thing, and then you have to eat the table food that comes up on the platform.

Oh, yeah, that Spanish movie on Netflix. Oh, the platform? Yeah. El platform. Nope. You have Spanish. El platform. As you say, pletofilm.

Pletofilm. So, it'd be like that. You're a fucking asshole. You should have done that. No, you have Spanish. O plato de film. As you say, plato de film. Plato de film. So it'd be like that. You're a fucking asshole. You should have done that. No, you should have. Instead, you flew back home. You didn't get to see your family. You didn't scare your girlfriend.

And you're a dumb piece of shit. No one likes you. No one likes when you talk. The shitty part about flying home. I agree with everything you said, but... You know, we talked a little bit about resolutions, but I think that Aiden told me a resolution earlier that I think is really important And it's that he doesn't want to have nasty shit stains and all of his butt under yeah

He keeps telling us that his underwear looks like We're trapped in here with you Looks like clown makeup I'm strapped in here with you! Oh my god! Oh my god! Dude! Oh, bro. Oh, dude! Dude, it looks like clown makeup. Oh my god. Oh my god! Dude. This is so bad for an ad read.

These aren't MeUndies. Yeah, they're not. Because MeUndies, they're the type of underwear that when you have them on your butt, you don't want to make it look like a panda bear's face on your... Back up, back up, back up. So you're telling me for the ad read you want it to show off your underwear that's a different brand yeah because they're uncomfortable and i only blur it we'll blur it out here's the thing here's the thing it'll say generic brand yeah so aiden wanted to change his life in 2023 and you could do that with me undies free to join it's a membership

each month aiden gets a new pair of undies socks and a bralette that he also happens to shit on when they're not me undies how do you shit on a bralette that he also happens to shit on when they're not MeUndies. How do you shit on your bralette? How do you make that happen? Don't worry about what he shits. Worry about how it's shipped, and that's right to his door slime. They're available from extra small to 4XL, and they give your butt such a good time.

It's life with MeUndies. Look, available, extra small to 4XL. I've seen the yard merch sales. Y'all skew big. That's good. That's good. They're beautiful,all skew big. That's good. That's good. They have what you need. They're beautiful, and we like you.

That's fine. MeUndies is there for you. Two people got your back. It's SZA and it's MeUndies. And if you're not impressed with MeUndies, your first pair is on the house. SZA. You know, it's also like, I've seen Aiden wear the XL MeUndies, and it's like a cape on his balls.

It's like his balls are Superman. Slime, if you want to get 20% off your first order, it's easy. MeUndies.com forward slash the yard. It's very simple. Simple URL. MeUndies.com slash the yard.

They care about us. Some of these sponsors give us a fucked up URL that's like a Bitcoin address. We're not that mad about it, but hypothetically, we're fine with it actually and we're really okay with the fucked up URLs but

this one's great because it's only meundies.com slash the yard. Meundies.com slash the yard. Turn them sent off or I enjoy. You know what's also

cool about meundies is that you can eat. You're still on it? You're holding this? You can eat butt through the undies. Bye. Back to the episode.

Bye. I now have to book last minute Christmas time flights home. Oh shit to book last minute christmas time flights home oh you have to book yourself hong kong which has no flights left to north america none they're all oversold so i flew to london and then to la so a 15 hour flight and then a 12 hour flight and i'm just sad double mast aiden under a blanket, curled up, because I don't want to fucking, you know, I don't want to breathe.

You might have given a British person COVID on your way there, though, and that's what Christmas is about. What's cool is you gave COVID not just to Americans, but also to Europeans, those dirty UK bastards, and the people of Hong Kong. I respect you for that. You did a lot of great work this Christmas. Good job. And then, yeah.

Super spreader. respect you for that you did a lot of great work this christmas good job and then yeah so i spread i from i flew to london and then to la and i i wasn't in i didn't even i wasn't in a bed for like three days every flight is 14 hours long i'm just fucking sitting the whole time i didn't sleep and then i finally get home where i'm i'm alone trying to play league of legends and melee uh for yeah i i thought that you got sent home immediately when you told us like over text no because i thought they like turned you right around which the pcr test doesn't come through it was it was almost worse in a way because i i went out like oh i see I see my family and I'm in Hong Kong, like walking around, you know, outside at least for like, you know, eight to 10 hours.

And then I'm like, at the end of the day, finally, really tired, been walking all day, time to go to bed and then check email. And I'm like, oh, I actually have to fly now. What if, what if you just ignored it? You can't because you have a QR code that updates with your health status, which is also weird. Which would be also very irresponsible. I'm just theorycrafting here. The QR code also never updated, which I thought was weird.

You have this QR code that is attached to your COVID status and your vaccine status. Because I've got my boosty. So if you didn't know, let's say like your phone died or you lost your phone. Yeah. Like then what? You can't enter. Without your phone. You can't enter any place that you would take your mask off.

Got it. Okay. So I'm masked the whole day. But then anytime you would go somewhere to eat you have to show the like correct code to get in um you just have eman hop in and get you some dumplings and you just chill and i just i sit in the streets of hong kong yeah until i'm until i'm not sick anymore until i'm negative so bad actually oh my god what a miserable time yeah it was awful it was I was super sad

I was just into Christmas and I cried in my room you hit diamond in melee I hit you know what I did I hit diamond in melee and I watched the

extended edition trilogy of the Lord of the Rings that was my fucking what is it worth that's the way to pass the time is it worth yeah watching it again

uh extended edition it's been a while yeah like I hadn't watched it in like 8 years and I was like this is great Pass the time. Is it worth? Yeah, watching it again. Extended edition. In a while. Yeah. Like, I hadn't watched it in like eight years, and I was like, this is great. Do you think Gandalf the White has it, does the carpet match the drapes? Almost certainly. Do you think it's nice and combed, like his hair?

Do you think it's nice and combed like his hair? Do you think he needs to use any of his powers to get hard? That is his power. That it's always ready to go. Well, I was thinking because I saw this really cute monkey video that a lot of people sent me. But I saw it first. But it's this baby Gibbon who's like being left alone for the first time and it's like,

and it really wants to be picked up because they're scared because like they just hug their mom and it turns around and it's a yellow Gibbon with yellow fur and the butt is just all poopy because it's an animal,

right? It's like, it's where it poops and it doesn't care. And I was like, when you said that and I started thinking about't care and i was like when you said that and i started thinking about gandalf and i was like it's his butt like that did you guys get did you guys follow that you guys dude i was thinking when he was talking about lord of the

rings that i started the best new form of media journalism you just love island uk oh you started watching oh you're watching Love Island? I heard it's hot. Love Island's great. Artur Babayev told me to watch Love Island. I don't know who that is. Oh, unfortunate, man. What?

You're just not cultured, bro. Oh, I didn't know the last... You said it in a weird way. I said his Christian name. I don't... Fuck with that. It's gamer names only for me. My kids are going to be baptized with a gamer name. Envy, tell this guy.

No, no. Yeah, I started watching Love Island UK and it's the greatest show ever. Why are you saying it like that? The show's godlike. The way it started is I wanted to watch Too Hot to Handle, which is like the American equivalent to Love Island. And that show is like, there's $200,000. You get a bunch of sex addict hot people in a in a villa yeah i heard about this they kiss each other

they lose money oh wow and the whole show is kind of dumb because from day one they're like i just want to fuck you so bad yeah i'd probably lose because i'm always kissing and sex i have like 20 they lose like 20k and then they still do it and they're like, I just can't stop kissing and fucking you. And it's like, really? You couldn't just hold off for like a few weeks to make like 20k a pop? Yeah, you just go, you start on Lexapro and then you just go on the show. Yeah.

The premise is that they trick them on the show. So they think it's another reality show where they're actually allowed to fuck. And I thought that was dumb it's so stupid i'm here for fuck island guys you guys can do whatever you want then you have sex like you lose wait i was vibing what the fuck i'm here for a blowjob ice cream nutland the television show and you got your backpack and your lollipop Oh, okay Like guess what what all the homies in on an island with a blunt and they're not allowed to smoke it or they lose It's called called smoke island and Rick and Morty is playing a 24-7

It's called chief island you're allowed to chief as much weed as you want smoke the weed you all lose and the shows over Wait, do they they know that they can't fuck, right? The moment it's revealed. Okay, okay, okay. Yes, they're all aware of the show. And then it does like a zoom on someone's face who's like, Dude, all I wanted was pussy. And they're so mad that they can't fuck for a few weeks.

Is it entertaining? I stopped watching it because I thought it was fucking shit. Okay. And so then I started watching Love Island UK And it's way better because they all have funny accents. They talk accents I watch this man this person named Aiden. What's he doing in the airport? Absolutely buzzing. What's Aiden doing in Heathrow? He's got a car you idiot You know what I did when I got to Heathrow?

I went upstairs to like this, this like a staff hallway and I just sat at it until I could get. Just like a, like you deserve to be. Like alone in a hallway next to my suitcase

and I just laid down on it and I waited until my flight in Heathrow. Where'd you get it, you think? Heathrow. You get it from the tournament? I must have gotten it

around Scuff World Tour. Yeah. Scuff World Tour. I was a little worried because the timeline lines up. I didn't want to get it and I didn't. We were masked up.

We were good boys. Yeah. I think masking is forever. I just hate being sick. Because I was masked up for that event. I'm on that vibe now. Is anyone not by the way?

Is anyone like, man, I really want to get sick? Well, that's what you would think. No, not that vibe. I'm on the vibe of just continuing to wear the mask. Kind of irrelevant of COVID. Oh, I see. I just don't like being sick. Well, that's what you would think. No, no, not that vibe. I'm on the vibe of just continuing to wear the mask. Kind of irrelevant of COVID.

Oh, I see. I just don't like being sick. We've been going to tournaments for fucking how many years now? And I started wearing masks before COVID. Yeah. Because I was like, fuck this. I was hip. I have a picture where I have a cigarette poking through it.

I thought that was funny. I'm going on walks and I'm tanning my balls and I don't need that liberal shit. You sun your taint to beat the demons. I haven't been sick, have I? Think about it. You got COVID. You have been sick. Nope. You sunned your taint and you still got sick. What's our COVID leaderboard right now? You can both

I've got it once. I've got it twice. You've gotten it twice now. No bracelet. And I got it we got it last year around the same time. Tied for top frag. So fuck you and you. Technically they're top frag. So fuck you and you. Technically, they're top frag. We're top fragging.

But it's like golf balls. He probably has more confirmed infections. We're 0-1, they're 0-2. I'll find out in 10 years if my immune system starts collapsing, but it's kind of nice having gotten it and having gotten all boosted up and then getting COVID and then not feeling sick at all. You do get to, like you get to have, it literally does feel like immunity.

Like you're like in a zombie movie, you're like three months, you know, I don't have to worry about this shit at all. Liberal COVID. Your COVID KD is how many times you've passed it to other people and then your deaths is how many times you've gotten it. And you still have an Armada number. Yeah.

Armada, the patient zero of COVID. And it's literally still Armada number. Yeah. Armada. The patient zero of COVID. And it's literally still Armada. It's six degrees of separation, but like how many COVID victims away from giving it to Armada you are? Yeah. Do they have an Armada number in other fighting games? This is an Aiden question. Your Daigo number?

Yeah, right? Like your Arslan Ash number? Like Street Fighter V became so coin flippy for a time that everybody's number would be arbitrarily low. Oh, yeah. Did you watch the new little... There's a little documentary about Pakistan Tekken. It's so fucking sick. It is so fucking cool.

Oh, look, you're so popular, bro. You have fan art of yourself On your background for your phone Yeah someone made it for me That's cute Why do you like this over other people's Fan arts This one Cause it has less

It's mostly just water And it's watermelons Is that cutie I mean it must be Oh there's coots in there You're right it's based There you go You just like it there

Saw's animal He's happy So you went away for Christmas I tried to go away for Christmas You just like it there. Saw his animal. He's happy. So you went away for Christmas. I tried to go away for Christmas. And you went to New York. I went to New York City. I went to the tournament with, it was like an Invitational. It was the last one of the year.

It was put on by Beast Coast and Brandon, Homemade Waffles, and the NY Melee community. And it was actually such a sick it was probably one of my favorite events i've gone to in a long time the energy was insane aklo versus kadoran grand finals and aklo went fucking link are you kidding me yeah and it got reset are you kidding me it was really sick i thought magi kadoran was an amazing oh my god there were so many insane sets i thought it was magi's tournament. She was playing like fucking crazy. Uh, Josh man busted out.

He was a sad little bear. I didn't get to watch. Were people trying? Like what was the mix of people? I think Zayn and stuff. Zayn was, uh, the idea was that he was like drinking,

which kind of sucks. Cause everyone's like invalidates. Yeah. When people be like Magi beat him the day before. And it was pretty decisive. Um, but whatever, fuck them. Like people when people be like, imagine I beat him the day before and it was pretty decisive. Um, but whatever, fuck them.

Like it, people were trying, people cared. Aklo did play link and he did beat Hedoran. So it's like we had to hold that. Yeah. If anything's true, those,

neither of them were drunk. Yeah. Um, and people were like screaming their fucking heads off. And then, uh, Brandon kept the stream going till midnight, which was really cool. So it was like, it it was like just felt like a real old school kickback

type of thing it was also josh's like last um you know tournament i saw him i i didn't think i would see him but his flight got delayed so i got to come home and see him before he left which was nice i hope he gets approved man gets approved yeah we're working on a visa for Josh. I hope he fucking stays out there. You, you, you, you really don't hope that you're

being cruel. What do I do? I'm not trained. Friendship birds. It's like the old movie. Um, I have to

apologize to you. What? No. New year. What's going on with Ludwig? He's doing so many nice things today. Is this what happens when you don't see your homies? I have to apologize to you because I booted up Kingdom Hearts in proud mode, and I am

not cut out. I fucking told you. I know. And you lied. I lied. You lied. I lied too. Way back, he was like, me and Zeke, we beat it on proud mode.

And I was like, oh, I see. Zeke was like, no, we did not. We did not do that do that and you were so sure and it's a little fucking hard isn't it and I and I and I booted up proud mode with cutie because she's never played the game one kingdom hearts one and um she loves Disney so I'm like let's play kingdom hearts and we play together and I'm like and I bait her in I'm like she's like what mode I was like I mean you could do like the easy baby boy modes for little children you were a gamer like don't you have a thousand powers of the league and she's like I'm a gamer she goes proud and then instantly there's like the

boss in Traverse Town and I'm like he's dicing me yeah dude I like need to grind levels that doesn't sound fun I know it's work I know so I'm like I'm like yeah we restarted we restarted and We restarted.

We're back to Traverse Town on normal mode because it was so miserable. I was going to do that for me and Justin finished Kingdom Hearts 3, but I was going to do that because like I don't give a shit about the gameplay

because it sucks. They ruin the game and I just might. And he's like, you know what? Do not play the game. Watch cut scenes. Just watch the cut scenes

like on YouTube. And I'm like, no, play the game. Play the game and just press the triangle button. You didn't see see our stream did you uh you said one stream you begged me that was my i'll come play with you man why did you why did you do one stream i'll come play with you man i'm gonna you're screaming at me you're screaming at me and you're so just you're gargantuan i've never so much fat i've never wanted anything more than to be on that couch getting shot-collared.

Really? Yeah. I was so sad. Because I'm in my room. I can't leave. I'm watching you guys have a fucking great time. Yeah. And then I went over.

And then he went. Yeah. And then we played Johnny Test. No, Ben 10, European World Tour. Nick and Zipper 2. Zipper 2, we hand her the controller and we say cook. And she goes to the PlayStation 5 store, downloads the free game,

Ben 10 European World Tour, whatever the fuck it is. European something. Euro Trip or whatever. Euro Trip or whatever. Where he gets hammered and fucks in a hospital. It's bad.

It's like a game that I think was a different game. Ben, give me another monster to fuck me. All right, Ben. That I think was a different game and then give me another monster to fuck me That's like that's like rule 34 of Beast Boy there be like oh my god It's literally the name Teen Titans. Yeah, you got brain Don't pretend like that's not a category by itself. It just says Teen Titans. That's I think that's the problem it's a problem. I'm just saying that we should have a Titan porn category.

No, no, no, no, no. The rhino, the rhino fucking that girl. They gotta grow up sometimes. He's 18. Adult Titans. Yeah, but Zipper too, we were just like, so she's playing through this game and we're all like, we're pretty much the Twitch chat. Yeah, we're Twitch chat.

And it was, it was really fun. We were on some no go left. Yeah. She's like, I'm trying. It was, it was fun. Yeah. The stream with Josh really fun. We were on some no-go left. Yeah. Just like, I'm trying. It was fun. Yeah, the stream with Josh was fun. We had the shock collar. So if you guys don't know, we did a shock collar stream where we played Demon's Souls.

We never played it. And then every time we would die, we'd hand off the controller. But if we died, we had to take a shock to the neck like a dog. You've done this. Yeah. With this collar. I don't know if it's the same one. I used all of them.

I bought all of them. Did you do the one that was like, it came in a bunch of colors and it goes up like different levels? They all have levels. I guess. Is it zero to 100 or is it zero to five? It's zero to 18. Ours was zero to 18.

We did. We thought it went zero to 10 because we were doing fours and they were unbearable. Right. And we were like, oh, 10 must be like, that would kill, that would explode a chihuahua. Were you doing it here? I was doing it on it inside of the neck. That's good. Because I didn't want to do it on my throat.

Yeah, you're not supposed to do that. But inside of the neck. And then we found out later it went up to 18. And we're like, what the fuck? You never did the max? Is this for elephant? Dude, no. The highest anyone went was Zeke at five.

Yeah. What? Zeke did a five. Because fours were really hard. It usually tops out. It tops out. You mean it's like stops getting worse? Yeah.

It's not as like exponential as you would think in my experience. Usually they probably have to do that because there's probably just like some fucked in the

head dog owner who's like, five is awful. Let's I'm going to give my dog a fucking tag. Anything above 15 just calls the police.

Yeah, it's a trick. It's like bait car dot com. He just speaks in the dog's ear. It not even a shot run run uh yeah i think usually it's it's like length might increase but i i've i've tried the zero to hundred one that i had was the worst because it felt similar where i was like you're at 30 and it's like oh that hurt did you have headaches after like for a couple days yeah he was telling me that he had headaches for multiple days after me and josh and zeke zeke was messaging me he woke up the next

day he's like dude i feel like shit it's like we were hung over i mean did you take like a lot of shocks yeah we took like 10 they died so much yeah and uh was it voice activated shock collars or no it was a you guys were taking shocks like Yeah, it's like when the dog barks. Oh, because we did the bark one. I had to bark on your stream. I remember that. I came downstairs. I'm on Ludwig's stream and I'm like,

Those ones are fun because the suspense of when the shock hits is more scary than the shock itself. Yeah. Like someone else pressing a button is just a bit malicious. Well, we did it as like we would prepare and we play a song It's like okay on the drop shocked me. Okay, so we like I knew it was coming But yeah, it was I felt like I had I I Was dizzy and I had a headache for like three days dude, and I was like, that's so funny. Yeah

Yeah, that is funny. You're not dangerous. No one asked Yeah, you're poured lemon in your eyes. So, yeah, I would recommend not doing that. Okay, yeah, that's not how the sentence should be. Slime's tip of the week. Don't shock yourself with electricity. Don't shock yourself with animal collars, because it hurts, man. Ouch, man.

See your skeleton on camera. Did you even make progress, do you think? Oh, yeah, yeah. Like, substantial progress in Demon's Souls? Yeah, yeah, we beat two bosses. He beat a really hard boss. Dude, he was off a fucking gummy because you have to buy like special weed in Hawaii

which he bought, ate on the plane, had half. He was gone. And Josh in this like fucked up state of drinking Modelo and eating THC gummies beat a really hard boss. While taking shocks? Well, shocks for if he died

that's why this dude had a fucking headache when he woke up I think it's separate from your reason I think you got it from just being probably anxious about it

I wasn't anxious about it it hurt my neck and my brain I felt it in my temple it hurt my brain it was crazy I don't know no literally

the Ben 10 game was making me sick because you saw me just go he like left I just left I just like I left his house without ever seeing him again like he left the room while we played Ben 10 And I'm watching it and it's like like it's moving. She's moving around a lot There's a scooter in the game, and I'm like oh she's scooting so fast

You get motion sickness from fangirling You're like can you like scooter like a little slower I just went in my room and laid down and then they went home. That is classic Slime Hanks. Yeah, but I had a reason this time. Yeah, that's fair. Well, alright gamers. Hey, it's nice to see you all again. Yeah. Is that

it? No. I was going to say it. You said it like it was over. I do think our recap section is officially over. We can do the podcast now. Welcome to the yard. Poop, Crud, and Fart. Poop, Crud, Fart, and then I was just saying I do think our recap section is officially over we can do the podcast now yeah well okay welcome to the yard poop crud and fart

poop crud fart and then Aiden I just want I want a shit related nickname and a bracelet it already is there I didn't get so I didn't have enough materials

and enough time but I was gonna get you one that just said Aiden as the joke but then I was like, no, because then it will look like I tried for him, which I can't. I've been under the impression this whole time that secretly after the podcast

you have one for him. I don't. That's actually fucked up. Wow, I know. Your dog. I just didn't have time. Well, hey, you have to get him a gift for next week so maybe you can make it up or make him feel worse. So we're all getting each other a gift. Yes, and this is only because I got Nick a gift that I think is good,

and this will motivate me to get you two a gift. I think I have you one, but... I'm still salty about Aiden not reading the book I got him, or not even opening it. What was it? Was it like Pictures of Monkeys? I have it next to my bed right now. No, he got me a Picture of Monkeys.

That was it. But it's a book about... It'd be funny if you were mad. He's like, he didn't fucking read it. It's like Pictures of Monkeys. He got me a book about city planning. It'd be funny if you were mad. He's like, he didn't fucking read it. It's like Pictures of Monkeys. He got me a book about city planning, which, to be fair, the few pages I have read have been really interesting.

He really likes it to me. He just doesn't read. I've been trying to get into reading. Me too. I'm trying to get back. I'm on my audio book grind. I'm back on my grind. You're reading book?

What are you book? And you're not playing Killjoy? I'm reading. Yeah, I'm not playing video games. I'm reading. Isn't that fucked up? Yeah, it's cringe. Adrian, New Year's come up to me. He's like, what's this fucking no game bullshit you're not playing killjoy i'm reading yeah i'm not playing video games i'm reading is that fucked up yeah it's new year's come up to me he's like what's this fucking no

game bullshit you're doing i'm like i'm just like playing less games trying to be more productive i can't even talk to you i thought my little drill sucked him back into melee i thought

i snort you back in the only thing for three days i was plat three for like a day were you just ludwig jr or do you play falco uh i play equal both oh wow um uh i'm reading the scout mindset the scout oh so you're reading non-fiction Just Ludwig Jr. Or do you play Falco? I play equal both. Oh, wow.

I'm reading The Scout Mindset. The Scout. Oh, so you're reading nonfiction self-help. You're reading how to make your bed and hate women. Wait, this is like for Boy Scouts? No. No. It's like a book about like... It's like a podcast.

It's cringe? No, the book's not cringe, but talking about serious books on a podcast. Just explain what it's about in one sentence so we can make fun of you like an asshole it's about it's about being able to seek out truth in the world

instead of defending your ego so you can learn more yeah good I'm reading why'd I do this

why'd I do this that's cringe I'm reading a book about good pussy and I'm an expert fuck yeah and I actually wrote it I actually wrote the book. I'm reading a book about good pussy. And I'm an expert. Oh, fuck yeah. And I actually wrote it. I actually wrote the book, and I'm actually doing really well.

I did a lot of research. Yeah, I'm reading a fiction book about weed, and every page is a blunt that you get to roll. You just rip it out and roll it up. And then make it with THC in the paper. I'm reading 12 Rules for Life. Are you really? It's called that. It's just 12 Rules for Life.

Here's a rule. Kill yourself, man. You're like, oh, man. Is that not the title? I'm not actually reading it. Are you talking about like Is that the name of the book? Like the classic one? It's the fucking famous Jordan Peterson. Oh, the Jordan Peterson one. I don't know.

The one that actually is make your bed and make your bed and get married. Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. And don't respect women. And also, you know, return to Western traditional values. Return to Western value.

Return to it. I haven't been reading, but I played, I busted out the Switch and I've been grinding Hades again from minute one. Oh, fucking love Hades. And it's really fun.

I almost started Hades. Why don't you stream? I almost started Hades for the first time ever. It's Hayley Williams and she's in Greek hell. You're in the misery zone. And you have to get different power-ups and it's just her songs and shit.

You walk into a dungeon and you hear da-da-da-da-da-da. Yeah, I almost started Hades. It's fire. Why don't you stream it? Stream what? I'm playing on switch you just tell him you did this is your answer this is what you do you hear him talk about something he says something that he'll do and you're like why don't you stream it and then and then and then you don't watch that's what you do right now no no no i told him before i left for vacation that i wanted to watch him stream kingdom hearts with josh and then he booted up demon souls and i said

i don't give a fuck about demon souls what i thought you cared about our the i thought you liked me as a viewer because of my personality but you only like it for the content you just like your game i like the game wow he's fickle oh dude speaking of streamers, Zipper, I sent you an image on the Zipper account. Last time I was playing Hades on my Switch and I was watching Prezzo, and I took a great screen grab. If you guys... Is that him sucking his big toe?

Dude, I thought it was somebody else's toe. Jeez. Every body part looks like a different person. He's so white. That's also a green screen It's a static background I don't know who it is in the back But dude he was streaming for like Hours Just getting hammered

And doing shit like just talking to chat Wow If you guys wanted some content you should watch Prezzo He's just a genius man Remember back in like 2018 when we were living together And you started streaming If you guys wanted some content, you should watch Prezzo. He's just a genius, man. He just has it all. Remember back in 2018 when we were living together and you started streaming? You're like, I think Just Chatting is the future, and I think it's going to be way bigger than video games on Twitch. Why did you think that?

What made you predict that? Was it just pure numbers? It might have been even bigger back then. I don't know. Oh, I guess that's when it switched from IRL to Just Chatting. Because that's just it switched from IRL to just chatting. Uh, cause that's, that's, uh,

just like what was hot. That was what was making culture. And that's what happened in China, which is what HROC told me. Cause they're ahead of the live streaming game and it's all personality driven based off their face and talking, not a game they play. Cause I was, cause I was just watching,

it was Prezzo dead ass looking at a camera and talking to chat for hours, three hours. Because I was just watching. It was Prezzo deadass looking at a camera and talking to chat for an hour, three hours. And it was before that. And I was like, and he's got more viewers than most people his size.

Yeah. I think the moment you boot up a game, it requires, it cuts off a certain number of people who have to enjoy the game. Sure.

Like you. Like, let me know. You cut me out when you boot up Demon's Souls and I didn't care about Demon's Souls. But Demon's Souls is a good game. I would have liked it if it was Dark Souls you i love you know you cut me out when you put up demon souls and i didn't care about demon souls was a good game i would have liked it if it was dark souls i only like watching games i've played or new games if i give them a shot and i kind of like them but it's just like dark souls but it's older but it's remastered yeah but i you master no no i can't you don't like josh even jesus. What if I play the Ben 10 adventure?

It'll make me sick. Dude, he's so fucking hard to please. Yeah, he's hard one to please, but we keep trying. Nothing makes you happy. We just want to make you happy. We just want to make you so happy for you. Is life miserable for you? Stream Hades.

We want to. I'm in there. Stream Valo. I watch the Valo. Hey, Hades, nothing in your mouth. When's the road to Diamond? Whenever, that's on your mark.

You want to start today? Yes. You know what you do? I'll road to Diamond and Valo today. You know what you do? We need to play Valorant together because we have a match.

We do have to practice. we might not have a match is the issue. Oh. No, nobody will be called out because I think all the, not concerns,

but the reasons for doing so are legitimate. No news yet. But the teams, a lot of our confirmed teams, our big dogs. Some fickle Freddies. Dropped out in the last week. No shit. Yeah.

Dropping Daniels. Delay or cancel. Why do we work events? Why are we in the events business? They all have good reasons. They have good reasons. It was like, we're so scared because the huge platform that Ludwig's going to provide the stage.

That's the best reason. Yeah. They also said that. They said they're intimidated by Ludwig. They said we think Slime's problematic and we just can't be around him.

They also did say that. Who's problematic? They said, you have to ask. We, we, all the GMs wrote an open letter

to us. That's actually public. That's actually public. That's actually public. And they said, we didn't like how Slime made fun of Sykuno's diapers. And we don't want to work with him. Sometimes you need to stand by what you said. And this is one of those moments for me. And you guys need to choose.

One of those moments? It's one of those moments. Give me those moments where you didn't stand by what you said. You guys choose. Do you want Valorant event or do you want your friend to be right? Valorant event. Valorant worked really hard on the Valorant event. No!

Put it back on! Look, you guys dub Slime. I have something to take him down a peg. No! I can do it. What did I do? Well, you didn't really do anything. Let's go.

But I think that you're gonna... So I was at a New Year's party and Atrioc was there. I hate that shit. Hate that shit already. You're gonna hate it more in a sec. And he's there with his lovely wife, Ari. And she's a little drunk.

Not super drunk, but she's a little drunk. And she comes up to me in zipper two and she's like, you wanna know what Atrioc thinks? And I was like, what? And she's like, I actually can't tell you and she points at me i can't tell you and then she leans into zipper two's ear and whispers something and then she looks at me and she has like wide eyes and i'm like what did she say and she's like i can't tell you and i was like oh i

hate this and later we get home we're getting snug and i'm like what she said and she was like this is a manipulator she was like you wait for the i manipulator she tells me and she goes atriox secretly thinks you're the funniest you no yeah this is a sigh up he actually doesn't believe it and this is a sigh and then he and then she and then she clarified. She went, he thinks slime is the most consistent, but he thinks that Nick hits harder when he's funny. That was the clarification he made.

Your armada. And I said, my instant response is, I cannot wait to say this to Anthony. Wow. There's a lot of... Nick is mango. Nick is mango.

What the fuck are you talking about? In this analogy, Nick would be mango and you. Nick is Mango and you're Armada. In this analogy, Nick would be Mango and you would be Armada. You're Armada. You make twitloggers. If it makes you feel better, in the world of Atrioc, I'm null. Are you?

Probably. In terms of the credit that he would give me, he'd be like you got mango You got our motto you got no like you're the homie, but you're not up there Exactly and then a to be like J mook That implies wait that it plays any only got funny last year which actually Which actually is kind of possible. No, Aiden's Tafo. He's like...

No! No! Shut up! I'm not much of a player. I do a lot for the community, though. Yeah. No, Aiden's are blur. No, yeah.

I think this is a hard analogy, but I disagree, obviously, fundamentally with Atriok. On his opinion. You disagree with him on his opinion? No. Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

Do you think that do you think that that he doesn't know what he believes i think that he is saying that to get to me he wasn't part of the conversation no but he knows that's why this is important because ari ari had a private conversation with him so insidious this is why it's so insidious tiny dick tiny brain asked his wife ari to secretly tell you it's crazy. Patriarch, little finger he is, tiny dick, tiny brain, asked his wife, Ari, to secretly tell you. It's like an inception. They can't just tell him.

They can't just tell him. It was incepted in your brain, though, because now you believe it. So you got fooled. We're settling this right now. I don't know why we're wasting time talking. Oh, like he's going to be honest with your ass, bro. He better pick up. After everything we've been through, are you kidding me? Have you been through a lot?

I feel like you've been through the least with him. Have you met his parents? Not at the wedding? Except for me. I guess that's a weird caveat. I guess you're not answering my fucking question. But I have met them. Before the wedding?

No. Why is that a lie at the wedding? It just feels like you drew a line. Because everyone I've met at the wedding. No, no, no, but you drew a line that would make you win. I'm waiting. Here, here's your phone. I'm going to call him on my phone.

Call Brandon Ewing on your fucking phone. It's actually going to work when Aiden calls. Speaker? He doesn't pick up. Hey. What's up, you piece of shit? Why didn't you pick up your Discord? Oh, you called me on Discord?

You literally looked at it and didn't call me and didn't pick up? Hi, Atrioc. Oh, I didn't see it. Oh, you didn't see it? Love seeing you on New Year's, man. It was fun. All right.

Hey, what's up? So, Ari, your lovely wife. Wait, you can't preface it like this. Why? You should just ask the way you think. This is fine. This is fine. Keep it going.

Keep it going. Basically, Ari leaked, and she told Nick's girlfriend something, and then she told Nick, and now we're beefing. What did? What? You think? Do you think that Nick is funnier than me?

Let me tell you one thing about... I want to say yes just because of this conversation. The truth is, Aiden's probably the fucking funniest and whatever she leaked was not real. There was no secret leak. What? what are you

this is such a mix-up i love the stream last night watching for like an hour i love the stream last night so wait wait you think aiden's the funniest you just think he's the nicest i've never ranked you guys why not that's what you're supposed to do with your friends you make them compete against each other more important than each other so they feel shame. Sometimes you have bad episodes. You guys are inconsistent individually. No. Big A, big A, love the list. Where am I at?

Rank us now. Rank us now or you're fake. Yo, Big A's list of Nick's friends who also make jokes. Hey, we'll go in on that Queenstown house together, though. Who's number two, though? Regardless of the rank, because me and you, thick and thin. Stop, stop lobbying. You rank us now

who is the funniest one through four on the podcast I'm just not ranking you now do it now it's a gut feeling it's gut it's gut

have guts for once in your fucking life A-Truck I think you have guts you always have guts I call you big guts okay go I'm literally not doing it there's not an answer

dude just do it there's no answer I'll rank you in stands he's not an answer Dude just do it There's no answer I'll rank you in stands He's mogul mailing us right now Honestly I respect your Your willingness to be neutral For the reason of Your willingness to be neutral is brave

Do you think one person is funnier every episode? That's ridiculous It's an overall thing bro It's like sometimes you're just The funnier person Your nuance and ability to capture both sides Is both endearing and charming. It also makes you sound mature.

You understand both sides of the equation. You have a very mature hairline. Just give us the fucking answers, bro. The content's been fired, lady. I love when he gets mad. That's actually all we wanted to do in Mickey Mad, so good talking to you, man. I didn't want to make you mad. I just want to make you mad. Just wanted to check in.

Weird thing to do. Weird thing to ask. All right. Well, hey, let's get burgers sometime. I'd love to. All right. I love you, bud. Oh, actually, wait.

What's up? When will I actually see you? Maybe you are my favorite because I got you a gift and you alone. No way. Yeah, I did. Oh, that's a good one. It's like how you give gifts like orphanages, like way! Yeah, I did. I could just like, it's like how you give gifts like orphanages,

like charities. Oh my God. All right. Well, we're on the pod. He can need the gift of quality time on our trip that we went on just the two of us. He's talking some shit. He doesn't have a bracelet.

It doesn't matter. I'll talk to you later. We're on the pod right now? Cool! Cool! Cool! I'm number one. Oh, it's for content.

Nick two, but three slimes. I'm hanging up. Go fuck yourself. Ooh, four. Number three. That feels good. That feels good.

He didn't mean it. He's a content guy. Number four. You know what it's like. He's a content guy. There is a weird thing that they'll turn. They'll switch

when they think it's content. Like on a dime. You see that? Yeah. All of a sudden. You see that? Yeah. All of a sudden. I keep it above and above. I trust his wife because I trust women.

Believe women. So if we all believe women here, we agree, so it's me. Somehow, in a way, although the words are accurate, it felt dehumanizing of women. What? What are you talking about? Using this opportunity. What are you... Look.

I think we should humanize women. Yeah. Again. That's good. We'll talk about it later. Maybe on the bonus episode. How do you listen to the bonus? We all have to talk about a couple big things that we glazed over.

Like the football thing. Do you guys hear about that? Yeah, I did. What do you say about it? It's tragic? I What are we gonna make jokes About a guy might die? No

Tune into the Primo Find out You know It's gonna be a special one It's our 100th bonus episode Whoa Our 100th one Three digits

So be there for that Also Boner Which sounds like bonus In sign language I can teach you guys And one time I had a Boner episode And it was in math class And I cried

In front of everyone. Did you really? No, no, no, no. I'm just getting us into the... So join the Patreon. If you would like... Do you cry when you get erections? So join...

Join the Patreon. Oh, that's 300 posts in general, not bonus bonuses. The zipper's trying to bring up stats right now. Don't... Never fucking fact check me again now end the fucking episode i'm gonna use a gun on our producer fucking snopes ass bye bye